#seasonal depression being called SAD just makes sense

[han-solo-cant-dance]

Seasonal depression beating me to a bloody pulp again ✌👁👄👁

[edibleashell]

TUA S4 feels

Pretty sure that Umbrella Academy S4 finale left a permanent scar on my psyche. Still one of my favorite shows but I might just end after season 3 in future rewatches. So many issues with S4.

In like episode 1 we got Ben and Jennifer touching and that started a countdown to the end of the world and the whole season was just junk to fill that time. So many good ideas that weren't done properly at all. Shuffling their powers? Alternate timelines? Hargreaves owning pretty much everything? Abigail just being alive? Pointless.

Luther was just a repeating loop of stripper and home decorating jokes.

Diego should have been a martial arts instructor or something not a depressed delivery guy. A bunch of jokes about him getting out of shape only to reveal that he's still jacked. He throws a potted plant and misses. His arc is just Big Sad for no reason and the relationships he built in the first three seasons were apparently irrelevant, if anyone would have been taking care of Safety Klaus it would have been him.

Allison's character was just an accessory to Klaus, after three seasons of her trying to reclaim the family she lost she ended up spending more time as a tool to Klaus's arc than she did with Claire. And Ray just being casually written out was so disrespectful.

Klaus, oh poor Klaus, my favorite character, what did they do to you? He should have been a nurse or something but instead he was paranoid, then pissed off because the writers decided that Klaus would equate marigold with drugs and just fall right off the wagon? And then he goes to some sketchy guy he owes money to even though S1 Klaus is shown just buying drugs from random people? All to justify his prisoner plot, none of which had any real impact. And he can fly for a second for some reason. Okay.

Five working for the CIA was bad. He should have been the retired fun uncle to Claire and Grace. After spending fifty years trying to get back to his family why did he keep leaving them? Why did he hook up with his brother's wife after only six years? And am I supposed to believe that in every timeline he has the same haircut? That none of the other Fives lost their arm? How did he never notice his boss's blatant umbrella tattoo? He just casually strolls through "his" apocalypse as though he doesn't have ptsd, and why were he and Lila living off sewer rats when they had infinite timelines to scavenge?

I was so excited to see Ben witg the family but one episode in he becomes a bomb and fucks off with a girl who can hardly be called a character.

Viktor was the only character I thought got some form of authenticity and justified growth, his arc kind of seemed like a ripoff of S3 Klaus though. And we missed out on what could have been a really beautiful scene of him drawing the upside down umbrella on his arm.

Lila went from "I don't want to be like my mom" to a motherhood cliche. And what was the deal with her family? She just found her parents and they immediately accepted her or something? Was there another Lila in this universe? That made no sense. If anyone would have joined the CIA it would have been her. Her and Diego should have been weird parents teaching their kids how to fight and kill but instead they got some domestic life that those characters never belonged in.

And there's so much more! Abigail is alive? Hardly relevant. Why did she body snatched Gene, it didn't really seem to change anything. The Keepers existed only to be a minor obstacle in the last episode. And are her and Reggie aliens? Why? How? What's the point?

AND DURANGO? THAT'S A CAR! Harland named marigold and for a farm kid that makes sense (though the retconned acceptance of that word into Umbrella vocabulary was irksome) But Durango? Abigail is a scientist and she names The Bad Dust after an SUV? Why?

AND WHY WAS THERE ZERO QUEERNESS? Each of the first three seasons had some sort of queer arc but not this one. I still wonder if some higher-up didn't intentionally assassinate the show as backlash for the immense respect S3 gave Elliot Page.

One last thing, music is a big part of the show, they've always put such thought and care into the soundtrack and it makes sense knowing who the creators are, so why, of all songs, was Baby Damn Shark the first song to be featured in like three episodes? It seems intentionally disrespectful.

I'm done, rant over, I'll never recover from this.

[miss-eli-starfleet]

My critique of CW’S The Flash

The Flash is one of my absolute favourite shows, and I think it deserves one of these. Yes my favourite shows deserve critiques because there are changes I would’ve liked to see instead. This is all just my opinion on the show, not exactly hating it. Plus.. I saw someone else doing something similar to here goes.

Imma be clear at the start. I don’t hate WestAllen, just really really disappointed with how they were written in the latter seasons sometimes.

Props to every actor in the Flash who put all their effort into the show whether the script was cringe or not.

Season 1-2 was FIRE. No complaints. Loved the WestAllen.

Season 3 was good,

but I think they could’ve done Savitar better. Still liked him as the big bad being depressed/emo!Barry. I’ll say that I got really attached to Harry in S2 which made me wonder why they have HR there at all? The dude grew on me, and he added humour to the team, but honestly between him and Harry, it could’ve easily been Harry. Though it means he would die at the end.. so I’m glad Season 3 had HR Wells instead sorry not sorry.

The relationship between Julian Albert and Barry was so fun to watch. Which reminds me, LOVED Eobard’s appearance as Matt Letscher in 3x01. I have no idea why they continue to use Wells’ face like bruh. Your pretending as Wells is over so like why. GIMME MORE MATT!EOBARD.

I loved Frost???

Season 4 was also great.

I’d say more quality than season 3 because it was their first time against a big bad that WASN’T a speedster yet posed a more than adequate challenge to the team. The plot was nice and unique (I really loved Hazard!). I’ll say that DEVOE was kinda showing some red flags before becoming the Thinker in his relationship with Marlize, like he seemed kinda overly possessive of her. Glad that she switched to helping Team Flash after seeing what her husband had become. Loved her “Thinker’s first victim” line.

I felt like they started focusing on Cecile too much? Her role was vital to the plot at the end with helping Barry hop into Devoe’s mind to retrieve Ralph. And speaking of Ralph, I was neutral towards the character at first, but he grew on me. Also why fire him for sometning he did like 10yrs ago. That made no sense. I’d rather Ralph than more Cecile or Allegra.

LOVED ALL THE BANTER BETWEEN HARRY AND CISCO. And FROST FROST FROST!!! I liked her S4 outfit. I also think Barry’s supersuit was the best in this season.

One of my favourite episodes was “Flashtime”. Awesome awesome filler episode.

Season 5 was also great.

Barry’s supersuit was trash tho imo. He just looks like a weird deformed strawberry.

Above average but not quite as good as S4. LOVED NORA WORKING WITH THAWNE then Barry finding out and tossing her into the pipeline cell lol. Just the betrayal, and then dumping her in the middle of a random street in the future. Loved all the father-daughter moments she had with Barry. Cool to see the writers creativity in “meta-tech”.

However Iris.. bro in 5x19 she has some issues bringing up the fact Barry NEEDED to go into the Speedforce TWICE. And then her telling Barry to his face that she didn’t care that Nora was working with Thawne. Like bro, he murdered your husband’s mother and caused sm problems. And you don’t care about that?? Good to see that Barry called her out in the end.

Imma complain about freaking Sherloque again. Why not Harry? Even after what happened to him in S4, I think he could’ve figured out that Nora is secretly working with Thawne. Like dude’s still smart af.

Nora getting erased from existence at the very end.. sad :( I miss S5 Nora

Season 6.

I feel like this is when everything started going downhill. I didn’t care for Mirror Monarch. The mirror!Iris storyline was interesting to see. Idk what happened the rest of the season. That’s how much I didn’t care for this season lol. I think the other half was about Ramsey and how he wanted to make everyone zombies. Man I HATED Sue Dearborn or however you spell her name. She just took up too much screentime. This is when it started feeling like “Iris & Friends” instead of “The Flash”.

Liked to see how Barry dealt with slowly losing his speed bc he was killing the speedforce lol. Liked how the Caitlin/Frost duo became separate people. It was cool. At least we got that lol.

I think this is when Allegra comes in. I honestly can’t stand her. Like the whole her and her sister trope? Why.

The one thing I did like was Barry’s artificial speedforce gave him speed thinking. Awesome episode to watch. EXCEPT NASH. WHY. His sacrifice is useless in the end because of the whole “Iris is Barry’s lightning rod” thing. Have nothing about a speedster’s lightning rods in the comics, just didn’t like how that was written into the show. It eventually got really annoying.

Season 7.

Where do I even begin. This is when Barry’s “children” became a thing, and then suddenly speedforce!Nora wanting to kill all of them? Like what??? Where did that come from? Dion’s storyline was interesting. The rest were just.. Meh. And the CGI was so cringe.

I loved Abra Kadabra??? Why they gotta kill him off in one episode.

Does Chillblaine start coming in this season? I dislike him in general.

Season 8.

THIS IS WHEN BARRY’S ACTUAL CHILDREN COME BACK.

Now with Nora getting erased in S5, I really would’ve preferred if they gave us Tornado Twins instead. Like you can even use the same actors, but I honestly don’t really like the new Nora. I did like seeing her interaction between her and her family.

Also. Bart. I. Have. Major. Problems. I LOVE Bart but he is supposed to be Barry’s GRANDSON. Give us Don Allen instead. I did like the episode where they messed up the timeline, went back to 2013 and then accidentally reset Jay into the timeline. Also loved the episode with the whole Barry and the gamma radiation making him age hella fast. Bro was basically a zombie at the end and still overloaded the machine with the speedforce.

The. Stupid. Power Rangers godspeed arc was shit and them being Bart’s Thawne-like arch nemesis. Like boy, don’t compare Thawne with your godspeed problems. Don’t even start. Also what is with the “Negative Forces” and “Positive Forces” Power Rangers thing and then Iris’ time sickness? At this point, The Flash just started to feel like a soap opera.

I liked Chester even though he was a “replacement” for Cisco. He was unique. But the whole Allegra/Chester budding relationship where did that come from?? It just seemed very cringe and didn’t do much for the plot besides drama I guess. Khione was meh. Like just give us Caitlin with Frost in some way. I don’t care about Khione and her arc. Pls give us more Barry and not so much Cecile and Allegra.

Season 9

The show should just be renamed “Power Rangers: Iris & Friends” at this point. They made an entire episode without Barry?? Like if I pick up a Flash comic book, I expect it to be about THE FLASH. Not his random friends. Like yes, his friends can make appearances but don’t give me a whole dang episode without Barry THE MAIN CHARACTER. Also how the hell did Cecile become that OP, where is the character development.

Idk where Chillblaine comes in but I just don’t like him, not to mention that I don’t like the relationship between him and Frost. Like what.

Eddie’s Cobalt Blue arc and Red Death arc could’ve been done WAY better. I didn’t see any plot relevance in any way. It was written so poorly. Red Death was just like evil speedster!Batman or something. Please don’t bring our beloved Eddie back if you gonna write him all just jealous of Barry and him somehow becoming the new avatar of the Negative Speedforce. And what does Batwoman have anything to do with this (I believe she appears in the finale villains arc)l

There is legit only one episode I like in S9. The one that comes “full circle”. The one where Barry gets stuck in 2000, gets to chill with his parents for one day, and then comes full circle with Matt!Eobard killing Nora. SEASON 1 QUALITY. They even use the same bg music which awwww. And the “If I can spend one more day with my parents, then what would I say to them?” Line? Chef’s kiss.

Did not like the finale. His final run speech was okay about sharing his gift. Definitely would’ve preferred if Barry became the lightning bolt that struck him in S1 like in the comics.

Idk which episodes: Loved all the Amunet & Frost storyline, and then Goldface time to time appearances. Especially “Officer Chemist” lol.

[babiebom]

When You Fall (i)

A/N: My first full fic on this blog! Thank you to everyone who voted! I will try my hardest to write and upload quickly, though I am not going to promise anything seeing as I have a job interview this Friday that I'm writing this(already passed by the time this is uploaded) and if I get it I'll be working more often. Though again thank you for voting and I hope you enjoy! Also a bit of a warning, some things from the game are obviously changed to make sense irl, like instead of there just being seasons there are actual months!(pictures not mine.)

Next Masterlist

TW: death, self harm in the form of overworking, cursing, depression, negative thoughts, funerals. Etc just sad

Genres: angst, potential happy ending, romance, some fluff. Multichapter Fic

WC: 4k

You hear your name being called, the voice is quiet under the ringing of your ears.

"Y/N!"

You attempt to force your eyes to adjust on the person, head and neck snapping quickly to face towards them. "Huh"?

"I asked if you were going to be alright getting to the graveyard alone…?"

You nod, swallowing even though your mouth and throat were dry. The funeral home was almost empty now; only you, your aunt and uncle, and a few friends that knew both of your parents and/or grandfather. Standing up straighter, you try to fix your face subtly, trying to act as if you weren't out of it for the entire funeral. "Yeah…yeah, I'll be fine. I promise." You clear your throat and offer her a smile.

She hesitates, lips trembling before she slowly gives you a hug. "Your uncle and I are here for you".

"I know".

As the two leave, as well as the rest of the stragglers, it's only you left with the bodies of your parents and grandfather. A sour laugh leaves your lips, tears kissing the corners of your eyes as you drag your feet closer to their caskets. To keep from crying you clench your jaw and curl your lips inward, slowly becoming overwhelmed with the idea of never seeing any of these three people again. If you would've known this was going to happen, you would've visited more, called more. If you would've known…well it doesn't matter anymore because you didn't know, and now you can't do any of those things. 

Slowly and one by one you press a kiss to each of their foreheads, letting your own head rest on top of theirs for just a moment before moving on, hoping the warmth from you would cure the cold coming from them. You stayed there for so long the funeral director had to escort you out, reminding you that they needed to be buried. 

Slowly you got into your car, remembering that everyone was probably on their way or already waiting for you and the bodies to show up. They were all going to be buried in Pelican Town, the same place your father had grown up, the same place you spent your summers during your childhood. 

Entering Pelican Town, nothing had changed since your childhood, and that made everything worse. Things hadn't changed for the town, and yet it wasn't the same for you. Everything has changed for you. The only difference was a couple new headstones, the graveyard now housing your mother, father, and grandfather; though you had noticed the additions of some that weren't there when you had last been here. The mayor was standing next to the open graves, making your heart clench at the finality of it all; the second they were filled with dirt would mark the last time you ever got to see their faces. 

Instead of standing with the rest of the crowd, you stand off to the side, crying silently as you watch the mayor pray over their bodies before they get lowered into the ground. You have to fight yourself to keep from yelling out, knowing that making a scene, making this whole process longer would affect everyone around you. It’s the middle of winter after all, everyone probably wanted to hurry and get back to their regular lives. Swallowing harshley, you only step forward when it's time for all of the guests to throw some dirt on top of the caskets. 

“I love you,” you whisper into the air, clenching your eyes closed and tossing the dirt in. A soft thump is all you get in response, the dirt scattering over the caskets. Your mother and father are sharing a grave, and your grandfather was being buried with your grandmother, the two finally being reunited after a decade and some change of being apart. 

You move backwards again, allowing the others who had arrived to say their final goodbyes. Avoiding looking at what was happening, you focused on the scenery instead. Pelican Town had always been nice, and being covered by snow it was no different. Everything had sort of a Christmas-y vibe to it, but that only made you feel worse. Letting your eyes continue to roam, you spot some of the towns-people walking around, obviously trying to get a glimpse of what was happening. They were walking far too slow to actually be trying to get somewhere, or maybe the calmness of a small town allowed them to take it easy even when they had errands to run. Your eyes connect with a woman with orange hair, her eyes growing wide the second yours stopped on her. She hurried away as soon as she realized she had been caught watching, moving from the large tree that she was under to presumably hide somewhere else. You scoff and turn your head to watch someone else, not really offended but somewhat annoyed that the public can watch as your normal life is ripped away from you. Bitterly, you wondered when the last time this town had held a funeral, or had even had someone die. 

Everything looked peaceful, your presence disrupting the environment and if that woman with the orange hair was anything to go by, this funeral was something that shook the small town that probably knew your grandfather better than you did. You wonder why none of them showed up to the funeral or to this burial. Your thoughts are disrupted by everyone bustling around you, hands on your shoulders words spoken to you, you figure out that the burial is finished by the people moving around you back towards the way you came.

The second you fully realize that the burial had ended, you race out towards your car, not wanting to stop and talk to anyone, not wanting to cry on someone’s shoulders. You decide then that the best course of action would be to throw yourself into your work. So, without another glance back, you drive away from Pelican Town, hoping you would never have to return to the place again.

Scrunching up your nose and frowning, you slam the drawer to your desk harder than you need to, ignoring the sound of the contents inside spilling and moving around. The sound of typing overwhelms your senses, and unlike the persona you’ve put on for the past couple of months, you get up and stalk towards the bathrooms. As you pass the other cubicles, the oncoming anxiety attack immediately takes over your being. 

You push open the bathroom door, wheezing and trying to suck in as much breath as you can. Yet it still feels like you’re drowning, as if every breath you suck in is instead water, and it’s impossible for you to come up to the surface. You fall onto the sink, leaning over it and heaving. Your legs threatened to give out, not wanting to hold you up any longer. Giving in, you allow yourself to sink to the dirty bathroom floor, dragging yourself in between the sinks and the wall, the gross overhead light giving you a headache. 

Your body shakes, still struggling to breathe. As you close your eyes, flashes of the funeral and the last time you saw each of them alive consume you. The second your ears start to ring, you realize that you’re already too far gone, and any of your attempts to self soothe were now made in vain because you couldn’t calm down. You needed help, but at the same time that was the last thing that you wanted. You can feel yourself shake, violently, and your head falls back and forth as you shake, and in the madness you realize that someone was shaking you, it wasn’t you yourself. “Please!” you heard someone plead, yet they sounded too far away from you. 

You open your mouth to reply, but nothing comes out of it, you want them to go away, and to leave you spiraling here on the ground, and in the back of your cloudy mind you hope that you still get paid for having this breakdown during work hours. Joja Co. wouldn’t take away your wages for this, right? You’re shaken again, this time rougher and your eyes begin to focus on someone kneeling in front of you. The ugliness that was Joja blue assaulting your eyes. You groan, and as you feel yourself begin to surface, realize that you had been screaming. Your throat now raw and hoarse as you begin to calm. 

The woman in front of you is someone you recognize, though you couldn’t recall her name. You only knew her as your supervisor that you rarely actually saw in the office, and behind her were two coworkers looking absolutely frightened and worried for you. Swallowing, you shake your head and haul yourself off of the ground, muttering a ‘sorry’ and pushing your way out of the bathroom. It was painful, the walk back to your cubicle, everyone was simultaneously watching you, but still not really looking at you. As if they wanted to pretend that your breakdown didn’t happen, and you are all too aware of how insane you probably looked, coming out of the bathroom with puffy red eyes, and messed up hair. 

It wasn’t uncommon for someone to have a breakdown at work, the expectations of your superiors and the company itself were always too much for some people to handle, yet you realized that you probably looked different than them, having run all the way to the bathroom, and not out the doors to the elevators. After a breakdown, the person always quits, yet here you are, sitting silently in your cubicle, brushing your hair out of your face as if everything was normal. 

Again you open the drawer and look at the letter that had arrived on your desk weeks ago.

Dear, Y/N

If you’re reading this, you must be in dire need of a change.

The same thing happened to me, long ago.

I’d lost sight of what mattered most in life…real connections with other people and nature. So I dropped everything and moved to the place I truly belong.

I’ve enclosed the deed to that place…my pride and joy: New Hope Farm. It’s located in Stardew Valley, on the southern coast. It’s the perfect place to start your new life.

This was my most precious gift of all, and now it’s yours. I know you’ll honor the family name, my grandchild.

Good luck.

Love, Grandpa.

P.S. If Lewis is still alive, say hi to the old guy for me, will ya?

Taking in a breath, you laugh quietly to yourself. Your face still wet from your tears. It was ridiculous, hilarious even, that the very place you wanted to return to ends up the very place you flee in order to get back to yourself. 

You can hear clacks of shoes nearing you, coming from the direction of the same bathroom you just fled from. The woman stops in front of the opening to your cubicle. Staring down at you in your seat with aggravated eyes. The lack of concern annoys you to your very core, and with the least amount of emotion you can muster, you stare back up at her, the letter wrinkled in your hand.

"Yes?"

"That little breakdown you had there was very disruptive," she shifts her weight, "now you're one of your best workers, so we'll give you another chance, but next time something this unprofessional happens we'll have to let you go."

"Right," you swallow harshly, "about that, I need to take time off."

"Time off? Why do you need to take time off?" She asks loudly. You can see the people across from you look over with wide eyes. Vacations were never accepted, and were more likely to be taken as an insult. 

"Well, half of my family has just died...and I don't think I have a good enough mental state to-"

"We gave you time off already, we let you go to the funeral and have an extended weekend. How much more time do you need?" 

You scoff in disbelief, the woman staring at you with all seriousness of a person who has just been told the worst joke in the world. Did she not just witness the breakdown you just had? You sit back roughly in your chair, running a hand through your hair. Your patience started to run thin with the woman, and so in a huff you slam down the letter rather roughly before looking back up at her.

"Can I take a vacation or not?"

She gasps before angling her body back, now glaring daggers at you. "I am the boss, you do what I say. You've already taken time off, so you don't need any more. I'm really very disappointed in you-"

"But-"

"-and I don't think you realize just how lucky you are to be working for Joja Corporation. There's no other job as liberating and rewarding than working for and growing the Joja family."

You make a noise of indignation, completely taken aback with how she had decided to handle this situation, especially after seeing you in the worst state you've ever been in. "You know what?" You slam your hand on your desk, letting out a huff of air through your nose, now staring at the place your hand had settled. "I quit!"

You turn to watch her face as your words sink in. She splutters and takes in breaths as she struggles to come up with something to say as a retort. Laughing loudly in her face, you stand and push past her, going straight towards the supply closet, where you know there are extra boxes. Picking up the smallest that could fit all of your things, you completely ignore your now ex-supervisors desperate pleas. "You have to put in a 2 week notice!"

"Nah, no I don't." You shake your head, now filling the box with all of your things. You'd rather die than leave any of your cute cubicle things behind for them to throw away. Smirking, you carefully place the last plant you had on top of the other knick knacks you had, looking over to the angry woman with the best shit eating grin you could muster.

"I would say it was a pleasure to work with you, but that would be a lie."

The time taken to get back to Pelican Town was doubled due to you selling your car and opting to take the bus instead, and in that time you started to rethink your plan of starting anew without any backup plan. Everyone else that was riding with you had gotten off long ago, and you were left with those who were just along for the ride, having nothing else to do but stay until they were kicked off. 

You were grateful for the emptiness though, no one spoke a word on the way there; they simply allowed you to exist among them, thinking your thoughts without interruption. 

You grunt in pain as you're launched out of your seat, suitcases toppling over loudly. Embarrassed, you scramble to get up, hoping no one was secretly laughing at you because it would honestly cause another breakdown. The bus driver shouted out your arrival, staring at you specifically through the rear view mirror. Sniffing, you grab your suitcases and hurry off of the bus, squinting from the change of lighting.

"Hello! You must be Y/N" an orange haired woman standing waiting at the bus stop, friendly looking and sweaty. "I'm Robin, the local carpenter. Mayor Lewis sent me here to fetch you and show you the way to your new home. He's there now, tidying things up for your arrival."

You stare at her before taking her hand in a firm shake. She's pretty, and young looking but from the look at her hands she had to be older than you think. Her grip takes you off guard only slightly, rough calluses coming in contact with your own soft skin. You nod and grab your things again, wanting to get out from under the sun. There was a cool breeze cooling your skin, but just having been on a musty bus for the past couple of hours made you feel grosser than you normally would've. 

 "The farm's right over here, if you'll follow me" 

You want to tell her that you already know the way, that you've been here multiple times in your childhood, but you stay quiet not wanting to bring up memories that will just hurt you. You think staying silent is an even better idea when she takes two of your suitcases and heads down the road. 

Walking in silence is awkward for the first minute, and so you begin a conversation that you already regret happening the moment the first syllable leaves your mouth. "So," you swallow thickly, "how long have you been waiting out here?" 

She shakes her head and scrunches her nose. "Not long, maybe 15 minutes? First day of Spring is always brutal with the weather change."

You nod and keep walking, wanting to ask her more questions, yet you know that it would only serve to make everything more awkward. "Do you want something to drink? I have like a spare Gatorade if you're thirsty."

She makes a noise of acceptance and takes the drink from you, gulping it down quickly. The walk takes about 5 more minutes before you make it to a broken down fence.

"This is New Hope Farm."

You gasp loudly, a choked noise forcing its way out of your throat at the look of it. Grass overgrown, trees everywhere, boulders. It looked as if the place had been abandoned for years, and maybe it has been. Your grandfather must've been too old to continue the last couple of years, having been bedridden the months before his passing.  The air smells fresh, though, fresher than you've ever smelled it before, at least since you've grown up. A sense of calm settles over your being, just over the hurt and anxiety. At least you're okay for now. 

"What's the matter? Sure it's a bit overgrown, but there's some good soil underneath that mess! With a little dedication you'll have it cleaned up in no time." 

You smile at her as you open the gate for you both, entering the messy fields. It's another minute and a half before you actually make it to the farmhouse, "and here we are, your new home". 

You raise your eyebrows at the look of your grandfather's old cottage, it being slightly run down since you had seen it last. Your heart clenched at the sight, realizing that everything did in fact get old without you, or maybe alongside you. Taking in a deep breath, you jump as the door to the house opens loudly. A man, shortish and white haired leaves out of it. He looks slightly familiar, but obviously older. 

"Ah, the new farmer! Welcome I'm Lewis, Mayor of Pelican Town." You wait for him to descend the steps, stopping in front of you. You faintly remember him, with less whites in his head and a smaller mustache. His old hat on top of his head is the same from when you were little. You shake his hand, reminding him that you had met him before. 

"Ah, my apologies!"

You shake your head with a small smile, slowly getting tired of pleasantries. "It's fine I was like…maybe 9 the last time I saw you."

The conversation staggers a bit before Lewis sucks in a breath.

"You know, everyone's been asking about you. It's not every day that someone new moves in. It's quite a big deal!" He looks around, a flicker of sadness in his eyes causing you to wonder how close he and your grandfather were. 

"So...you're moving into your grandfather's old cottage. It's a good house…very 'rustic'." You raise an eyebrow at his words, it was obvious that the house had seen better days.

"Rustic? That's one way to put it. 'Crusty' might be a little more apt though." Robin remarks, looking around.

"Rude!" Lewis gasps, whirling around to stare at Robin in shock. You guess it's the fastest he's moved in a while because his hands grasp at his knees for a split second.

The woman lets out a laugh, slapping a hand over her lips in amusement. You let out a snort, silently agreeing with her.

"Don't listen to her, Y/N. She's just trying to make you dissatisfied so that you buy one of her house upgrades." Lewis says, sending the woman a glare. Robin, in turn, gasps in shock, her eyes darting between you two before frowning and huffing. Maybe she was trying to get you to buy an upgrade. 

"Anyway…you must be tired from the long journey. You should get some rest. Tomorrow you ought to explore the town a bit and introduce yourself. The townspeople would appreciate that." You nodded to him, but refused in your mind, not wanting to go parading around town introducing yourself to the villagers like some happy-go-lucky extroverted tv character. Lewis begins to leave, but stops a couple feet, maybe even a yard away. He has to yell in order to speak to you, and you sort of understand when you would rather not have to walk all the way back just to leave again. 

"Oh I almost forgot. If you have anything to sell just place it in this box here. I'll come by during the night to collect it. Well…good luck!" His voice is strained, when he shouts. You smile and wave, saying a goodbye to Robin as she walks after him. Turning to the cottage, you feel a sense of overwhelming sadness, your chest growing tight. You know that grieving is a process, and that healing isn’t a linear path, but a thought pops into your mind that this was a bad idea. How are you meant to process, heal, and move on when you’re surrounded by things that make you want to tear your hair out? Sighing, you head inside, setting your things down and snatching an axe off of the wall. 

You think to yourself that the healing can come later, preferably after you demolish the trees taking over the land, at least you’ll be able to see far enough to farm. Stepping back out into the sun, you get to work swinging the axe over your head as well as you can. The thump of the axe embedding itself into the tree sends vibrations up into your bones, yet the pain and unfamiliarity of the feeling makes you feel lighter than you had in weeks. Maybe you just had anger issues. But, chasing that feeling you swing again, and again, and again until both the tree and it’s stump has been reduced to logs that you could pick up. 

You leave the logs on the ground and move on to the next tree, and then the next, and you keep going until you can feel the sweat drip down your back, pooling around the edge of your jeans and your hips. Your breaths come in short, you huffing as you try to bring the axe overhead once more. Your chest is tight, and your head feels as if it’s not screwed all the way on. ‘One more time.’ You think to yourself, bringing the axe upwards. You can tell that the tree was close to being fully chopped down, and so with the last of your energy, you force yourself to at least complete it. Telling yourself that it was more about clearing everything quickly, you knew deep down that you just wanted to feel something other than sorrow. Your arms shake as the tool almost slips out of your grasp above your head. Arms burning, you force them forwards as you swing down, you hear the thump of the axe in the wood, and you fall over ears ringing, your vision fading to black.

[scholastic-dragon]

Happy Blurple tuesday everyone!

I give to you all my very first mating season fic, which was supposed to be ooey gooey feelings and ended up in lots of biting and dry humping (way to go brain!)

So this is an 18+ story, minors GO AWAY.

Another edit note, this is now a TMNT All 4 1 Challenge fic, I didn't mean to do that but one of the lines just worked perfectly.

I don't know what it is about this challenge but it makes me write borderline smutty things. The line is getting thinner everyday.

Enjoy!

Leo x Fem!reader x Donnie

Sweet Treat

Warnings: slight angsty boys in the beginning, spelling mistakes, talk about mating seasons and mates, healthy communication, established relationship, poly!relationship (not tscest), turtle smoothces and neck kisses (and bites 😉), grinding and making out, premature ejaculation,

You weren't sure how it started but you could tell your boyfriends were miserable.

They weren't as happy or chipper, they barely left the lair and responded in short simple messages.

It was the beginning of spring and normally your seasonal depression and cabin fever started to flare up, so you assumed that's what they were going through.

It's the only thing that made sense.

But there was something else. When you video called Donnie and Leo there was a sadness and longing in their eyes.

You knew something was going on, and eventually they would come and tell you what was wrong, but until then, you came up with a plan.

Finding a recipe online, you - to some work of a higher being- made a pretty decent homemade tiramisu. After putting that in the fridge you headed to your nearest Target to pick up some things.

You grabbed an extra box of Leo's favorite tea and crackers and a few large bags of candy. Coming home, you texted your boyfriends asking them to come over.

Normally they'd both simultaneously say yes, unless training or patrol was within an hour or so. But you had to send a few convincing texts before they agreed.

You put your kettle on the stove, heating up the water and pulled out Leo's favorite mug. Then you pulled out Donnie's tiramisu, which thankfully, was still standing.

About 10 minutes later, you heard a small knock at your window. You rushed over and unlocked it, moving so your large boyfriends could squeeze in.

Your wide smile dissolved slightly seeing how uncomfortable they looked. Their shoulders were tense, jaws clenched, they looked ready to fight at the slightest move.

"Hey, I missed you guys," You spoke softly, watching as they removed their boots and heavy gear.

"I missed you too, dearest," Donnie said, unlacing his boots.

"You've been on my mind all week, love,"

You raised a brow, normally it was the same response or they said "we" but this was different. They weren't even looking each other in the eyes, they were completely avoiding the other.

"Are you alright?" They both stood up tall and shrugged.

"Yeah, I'm fine,"

"just, tired," they spoke at the same time, it was almost frightening.

"Not to sound ungrateful to be over, but is there a reason you insisted we hangout tonight?" Donnie stepped forward, his frame blocking out Leo from your view.

"Uh....yeah, I noticed you guys seemed a bit off....so I-" You pointed toward the kitchen when the kettle started to whistle. Both boys winced at the sound.

You leaned around Donnie, placing a hand on Leo's forearm. "That's for tea, if you want some," You smiled warmly. The look broke him, his brows furrowing and his chest heaving as if this were something hard to comprehend.

"But you don't have the tea-"

"I got some today, you favorite, there's a whole box in the cabinets," His jaw dropped at your statement, marching over to your cabinets until he found the box.

He saw his mug out too and started to make his favorite drink.

"I have something for you too," You took Donnie's hand in yours leading him to the kitchen island.

"For me?" He stuttered, his palms were sweaty and he seemed hesitant to follow you further into your apartment.

You pulled the tiramisu tray over, watching as his eyes widened and jaw dropped.

"You-" He stuttered, breathing picking up. "You made this- You made this? For me?"

"Yeah, I know you love it, and don't worry if it's not good I have DoorDash points I can use to just order one-" You were cut off by him launching at you, his hands cupping your face. The force of his steps pushed you back into the counter.

You thought he was going to kiss you, but instead, he was nuzzling and rubbing his nose on your face and neck. He was also chirping extremely loud, which was very unlike him.

"Donnie, what's gotten into you?" You giggle, feeling his breath tickle your neck.

"I love you, I love you so much," He mumbled into your skin. He sounded drunk like he wasn't believing you were right in front of him.

His nips turned into small kitten licks and kisses, going from your chin to your jaw then down your neck.

You were frozen on the spot, you didn't want to disturb him, so you rested your hands on his biceps.

When Donnie got to the juncture where your neck and shoulder met he inhaled deeply. His arms moved from your face, down your shoulders to your arms, squeezing and holding you in place.

He kissed the spot loudly and welly before his teeth grazed your skin.

"Donnie~"

A loud bang made you both jump, looking over Donnie's shell you saw Leo glaring at his brother. His jaw was clenched and his chest was puffed out.

What the-

"You promised, Donnie," Leo growled out. Donnie sighed, body slumping as he peeled himself away from you.

"What-What's going on? What did he promise?" You glance between the two of them.

They shared a look before Donnie cleared his throat. "You were right earlier when you said we'd been acting differently and seeming more....upset." He inhaled deeply, not meeting your eyes. "The truth is that it's our mating season and we both desperately want to be your mates but being around you at the same time makes both of us very aggressive and violent towards each other, and we don't want to be that way in fear of hurting you. So we made a promise that neither of us would mate, or in our case bite, you."

"Oh baby," You stepped forward, gesturing for them to do the same. When they did, you cupped their cheeks, running your thumbs along their cheekbones. "I don't mind being your mate, if thats something you both want, we made this relationship work, we can make this work too,"

"Our instincts say otherwise," Donnie mumbled, kissing your palm. "It's a constant physical and mental battle,"

"Then we'll just have to change them," Both their eyes went wide, glancing at each other and then back at you. "I will become both of your mates and we'll work through it one step at a time,"

"Honey, you don't have to-" Leo started, moving his face out of your hand.

"I want to. This isn't something that you have to go through alone, I want to help you both,"

Leo chuckled, blinking the tears away from his eyes. "God, you really are perfect, aren't you?"

"Alright, so step one," You removed your hands and looked between them. "How do I become your mate?"

Both chuckled softly, their faces turning a bit darker.

"Well, for our instincts we want to bite the juncture of your neck and shoulder," Leo rubbed his hands on his pants, not meeting your eyes.

"Alright," You shrugged, pulling a hair tie off your wrist and putting it up. "Who's first?"

The boys stuttered glancing at each other, seeming to have a telepathic conversation before meeting your eyes.

"Can....can we do it one at a time?" Leo sheepishly asked.

"And with a bit more privacy, it's kinda a big moment for us," Donnie piped in.

"Yeah, yeah, that's fine, whatever you guys want." You smiled warmly at them, taking one of their hands you squeeze gently. "I'll go wait in my room and we'll take turns,"

You heard their collective sighs of relief as you walked away, softly closing your bedroom door.

You threw off your thick sweatshirt, wearing only a tank top, and quickly pulled the blankets on you bed up.

You turned off the big overhead light and switched on your fairy lights. You wanted this to be perfect for them.

You could hear them talking through the door, thankfully it didn't sound mean or violent.

After a moment the handle turned and a very shy Leo opened the door. He smiled at you, closing the door behind him.

You sat up on your knees and held your arms out. He was quick to jump on the bed with you and wrap his arms around your waist, pulling your chest flush with his.

You kissed him softly, noticing how his hands were shaking. To calm him, you rubbed your hands up and down his large arms.

He sighed heavily, one hand cupping your cheek as the kisses got more heated. He pulled away breathlessly, staring deep into your eyes, his hand moved to the back of your head, massaging your scalp.

"Are you sure you want to do this?"

You suppressed a giggle, nodding and kissing his plump lips again.

"Yes, I'm sure, love,"

He nodded, a gesture that was clearly more for himself. He sat up more on his knees, coming a few inches above you, one hand held your hip and the other on the back of your head, keeping you steady.

He kissed down your jaw, inhaling greedily at the smell that was pure you. Reaching the juncture, he breath quivered before his lips kissed the spot softly.

His teeth gently grazed your skin, as if testing where the best spot to bite would be. When he found his spot, his body tensed for a moment, pulling you impossibly closer.

His teeth firmly came out and pressed down on your skin, giving you a moment to still back out.

Your hands ran up and down his arms, squeezing and massaging the muscles.

Finally, his resolve broke and his teeth clamped down on your neck. Not enough to break the skin, but you certainly would have a large bruise.

You whimpered softly, Leo's hand started massaging your hip to get you to relax. Your face flushed at the loud muffled groan he made into your skin.

The pain ebbed away as he gently licked and kissed the spot. He pulled away, still holding you, his pupils were blown wide as he looked you over.

"Are you alright?" His chest heaved.

This time you let a little giggle escape, cupping his face in your hands. "Yes, Leo it was just a little bite,"

He kissed both your palms, his hands rubbing your wrists. "Not to me,"

He kissed you soundly, slipping his tounge past your lips before pulling away with a smirk.

"I'll go get Donnie," He rose from the bed, going out into the living room.

You took a moment to catch your breath, how something as simple as a bite got your heart racing was a mystery to you.

After a moment, Donnie opened the door with a large grin, kicking the door closed and pouncing on you.

You fell back onto the soft pillows as Donnie immediately began kissing you. He impatiently licked at the seam of your lips and you opened your mouth with a small moan.

He groaned against you, laying on his forearm by your head while the other hand trailed up and down your side.

He pulled back, gulping down air, smiling like a dork. He rubbed his nose against yours, then realized he still had his glasses on and put them on the nightstand.

He chuckled softly, examining your neck, he went to the other side of Leo's bite and gently nuzzled and bit at the skin.

He too exhaled shakily at the juncture, looking up to meet your eyes. "May I?"

You nodded, nails scratching at the back of his head and shoulders.

His head lowered and he kissed the spot wetly, then inhaled deeply before sinking his teeth into the spot.

He moaned loudly against your skin, hand gripping the blanket by your head. Your heart felt like it was going to explode in your chest. Why were you enjoying this so much?

He pulled away and kissed the spot, then trailed up your neck to your lips.

"You okay?"

"Yeah, I'm okay," You were breathless, staring into his gorgeous hazel eyes.

Then a sheepish look flashed across his face. "Can I...um.....okay, I know we've asked a lot of you today, but....um....but,"

"Donnie," You cup his face, kissing his nose to silence him. "It's alright, honey, you can ask,"

His face grew darker looking down at you. "Would you....bite me as well?"

You eyes went wide as saucers, your voice catching in your throat.

He was quick to explain. "I mean, you're already my mate cause of my bite but it would mean a lot to me if you would-"

"Okay."

He stopped talking, staring down at you with wide eyes. You were sure he stopped breathing.

"Okay?" He repeated.

"Okay, I'll bite you," You giggle softly as he rolled over so you were on top of him. Planting your hands on the bed beside his head you leaned over him, feeling a wave of uncertainty wash over you. "I'm new to all of this, can you show me where to start?"

He smiled, running his hand up and down his neck. "Just kiss and nip all around, then when you feel comfortable, bite right here," He tapped his collarbone, chest heaving.

You nodded, showering his neck with kisses, licks, and nips. His hands wrapped around your waist, one occasionally dipping down to squeeze and palm at your ass through your sweatpants.

Feeling more courage with his small moans and whimpers, you kiss his collarbone. Running your teeth over the spot, taking a deep breath you bite down.

Donnie's hands tightened around you, pushing you into his body. As your teeth sunk into his skin, he let out a very loud moan, his hips grinding into your stomach. Your face turned bright red from the noise, and you felt a wet patch start to form on your lower stomach.

You pull away, noticing how heavy Donnie was panting and the way his eyes were screwed shut.

"Did you just-"

"No," He was quick to respond, not meeting your eyes.

"It's alright that you did-"

"Well I didn't, that must be from you,"

"I'm wearing thick sweatpants, there's no way I could've done that!" You giggled, cupping his cheek and making him meet your eyes. "There's nothing to be embarrassed about,"

He scoffed. "There are actually several, but okay,"

You kissed his pout, laughing against his lips. "I love you," You looked over your shoulder at the door. "And I love you too, Leo!"

Leo sheepishly opened the door, trying and failing to hide his grin.

Donnie sat up on his elbows. "How long were you at the door?"

"Well it sounded like a bird hit the window and I wanted to make sure it was okay," Leo ducked the pillow that Donnie chucked at him.

Donnie groaned. "I'm never going to live this down, am I?"

You and Leo both shook your heads. "No, you're not,"

You leaned down and kissed him again, smirking as you trailed a hand down his plastron.

"But I can think of a few ways you can make it up to me,"

tags: @turtle-babe83 @thelaundrybitch @happymoonangel @sharpwindow @sketch-and-write-lover @dilucsflame33 @tmnt-tychou

[pinesfamilyguidetotheweird]

Gravity Falls Thoughts: Ford and Trauma™ (Part 01; because I know I'm turning this into a multi-part series)

So...when you start to think about it, Ford has been through a lot. Because of Gravity Falls' nature as a 2-season Disney cartoon, I feel that we've only scratched the surface of all the crap this man went through.

And thanks to the fandom...good Lord in Heaven, all the flippin' Trauma!!! Sweet Moses...

I mean, other than Bill Cipher and Weirdmageddon, Ford has a level of trauma that not a lot of people have.

Of course, Ford isn't the only one with Trauma™. Really, all four of the Pines are traumatized in some way. I mostly want to focus on Ford for now.

Now, most of the trauma Ford is given is fan speculation/interpretation. The thing is though, is that these traumas would make sense if Gravity Falls was given a more serious direction. (sort of like Steven Universe, a show that is more emotionally driven)

Okay...first things first, nutrition.

In a previous post I've made (I think it was about the Feral Ford headcanon; which I may or may not go into further detail in this series), I said something along the lines of how Ford wouldn't be all that bothered by weird looking food or could even stomach strange food combinations.

While a part of me still thinks this, another one thinks of something else thanks to reading a lot of fanfics of his essentially living off of nutrient pills.

This is from Ford having to be constantly on the move to avoid Bill's reach during his travels. I'd imagine it's a rare occurrence for him to be able to sit down and have a decent meal, either at an establishment or even hunting for food. Not only that, but you have to remember that a lot of the places he went to probably don't have food suitable for humans.

So, Ford has probably taken to nutrient pills so that way he's always on the go, among other foods he's able to preserve and carry.

The thing is, living on mostly nutrient pills could only take you so far before it could be more of a bad boon. Nutrient pills wouldn't exactly give you the appropriate amount of calories a human adult male needs. Especially if they are constantly in danger.

This can lead to some malnutrition.

Yes. I took time to research this so we can properly make Ford's life more like hell.

Signs/Symptoms of Malnutrition (according to NHS)

(Other than the main concern of weight loss and BMI being low)

reduced appetite

lack of interest in food and drink

feeling tired all the time

feeling weaker

getting ill often and taking a long time to recover

wounds taking a long time to heal

poor concentration

feeling cold most of the time

...feeling cold most of the time...

"feeling cold most of the time"

...And who wears a turtleneck sweater/trench coat combo during the summer?

And, lastly, Low mood, sadness and depression.

Furthermore, it would seem that Ford would have developed a low tolerance to actual food (other than bland, mushy stuff) and is probably incapable of eating a whole meal without throwing up.

It's a struggle to be sure, especially if Ford already has a history to forget meals, even as a child (may or may not be projecting here as someone who forgets to eat)...not to mention the months of paranoia due to Bill prior to being sucked into the Portal.

I'm honestly imagining a scene in which Abuelita (bless her soul) tries to feed Ford when she sees how skinny he is...or at least what she perceives as skinny. And no one (no one) can say no to Abuelita Ramirez. And it's Mexican food. There is absolutely nothing bland about it. And Ford does his best to eat it...only to scurry into the bathroom after three bites. He didn't mean to be rude. It was honestly very delicious. Ford's body just couldn't handle it at the moment.

At least Abuelita is understanding of the situation and becomes Stan's right hand woman on his quest to help Ford with his eating habits.

...Great, another idea for an upcoming fic...I had a title in mind but I feel like I should call it *Trauma* Ford Edition.

[chaifootsteps]

[Regarding Mental Health Themes in the Leaks]

((Substance abuse mentions))

Seeing Helluva be praised for how well it “handles mental health” because of the Fizz episode, makes me so so mad, because of how terribly they’re mishandling anti depressants, and have been ableist themselves. From using the R slur twice, to messing with captions as a ‘joke’

First of all they call anti depressants by the most juvenile name possible “anti sads” or something like that (are you fucking kidding me right now? That is not all that they do) they show a character who has just consumed strong alcohol, grabbing a handful of tablets, literally overdosing. And then he just casually sings a song and the substances show no real effect on him. They show the character consuming strong medication as if it’s candy, just for some extra drama. And he’s fine??

Ok. No. That is so, so dangerous. Not only does mixing alcohol and mood stabilisers completely fuck up your brain chemistry, it makes depression symptoms far worse. I don’t even think there was a substance abuse trigger warning in the opening.

And all of this is manipulation of the audience to justify this characters entire seasons worth of abuse of other people. Fucking hell.

It gets worse going by the leaks.

So…if I’m getting things right, when confronted for destroying the already broken family, the show straight up shames Stolas for taking anti depressants? And gratuitously shows how much he’s been overdosing on them, as Via finds a giant box of the things. He has a lot to be shamed for, SA, abuse, classism, neglect, but this isn’t one of them. How ridiculous.

Secondly, Via finds these and says ‘so it was a lie all along!” it spreads the negative ableist stereotype that anti depressants are a “fake happiness” that makes you feel emotions you ‘don’t really have” and that the medication is just someone running from their problems with a quick fix.

People are already so fearful of taking this medication and staying on it, even when it helps them, because of negative stereotypes like this. And it’s being used in a melodramatic, backwards abuser storyline. At the end of Vias song it just has the most awkward zoom in on Blitz giving Stolas his jacket, and him crying (big fuckin surprise) cradling the shameful anti depressants.

Hell, replace the medication with that creepy as fuck imp doll stolas has used as an unresponsive bedmate since he was a kid, and it would make more sense. They’ve even implied that Via disturbingly overheard the sex, but it’s never mentioned.

Shame on Vivienne Medrano/Spindlehorse for this one. Fuck them. seriously.

I don't know what about the depiction of mental health in HB is worse to me...that Stolas's antidepressants are part of the reason his daughter cuts ties with him or the implication that all he needs to get off of those "anti sads" is a relationship with Blitzo.

Both are horrifying, and both are irresponsible.

[apriciticreveries]

hey Apri! i just wanted to send this via an ask instead of continuing on that original post you made about Asahi because our discussion is getting extremely long (not something i have a problem with it all! just impractical formatting, you know?)

I’ll admit I don’t know how much of a time difference there is between Alien Stage seasons. That’s why I think five to seven years of age difference is feasible for Asahi and Nyx, even if they are related? But they don’t have to be half siblings, of course not. They could be second cousins or something of that sort, with their parents being cousins. Or Asahi could be Nyx’s niece, if that age difference makes more sense, or they could be directly related insofar as father and daughter. Nyx probably graduated at 16-17? so Oryon could have had him have kids in that time frame. Your call, Apri :) hope you’re doing well!

sorry im responding late . . eugh . . i think i went outside right before you asked this . . why does my timing suck so baaaaaaad . . * claws aggressively at walls *

but yep ! i understand ! i was actually scrolling through my posts earlier today, and to be honest, the thread was taking up a lot of space . .

i think the time gap would be . . 7 to 9 years ? that’s just me looking at the age gap between luka and the others though, so im not completely sure too .

though it is probably multiple years since anakt probably needs a lot of time to prepare and practically train and teach each batch of new contestants for the competition !

although the father and daughter connection, to me personally, is the most interesting, i would feel really bad for nyxie : ( . . he’s like cas, practically still a child and already being used for . . that stuff . it’s sad . but i am most interested in this concept . . as . . depressing for nyxie it is . .

i do wonder how nyxie would feel about this, though . . also wonder how he would feel letting asa go or seeing her being taken away by kyuno after being purchased purely on her looks . . speaking of looks, i wonder if oryon would specifically breed nyx and another human to get asa’s appearance .

i think asahi should be one of his earlier litters ? ( if oryon does multiple, which just sucks ) maybe she was even his first child, like cinna to cas . and as a result, they have a smaller age gap of maybe 6 to 8 ?

though im personally completely open to discuss this more, and for you to change any of that ! i really value your opinions, and especially on this since nyxie is yours ! thank you by the way ! i hope your doing equally as well, if not better ! stay safe and healthy !

( random side note : . . what if dian also had a daughter and that daughter meets asahi and they’re the same ages and they become not friends but enemies and— naur . )

[chaerssss]

ANOTHER UNIVERSE

ꕥ Jean x female reader

ꕥ Words:- 4.6k

ꕥ Synopsis:- you've always had a little crush on Jean but afraid of losing him, you never confessed it to him. However one night, things take a turn..

ꕥ Genre:- Romance, Sad, Angst and a little suggestive.

ꕥ Type:- Oneshot

ꕥ Warnings:- mentions of blood, death scenes and fighting scenes.

ꕥ Disclaimer:- This is based on the end of season 3. I apologise in advance if some things are incorrect. Even though, I'm a big fan of aot, sometimes it's hard for me to go with the storyline.

Edit:- 53 LIKES?!?! 😭 TYSM GUYS🫶

"Even if the fates unraveled our destiny. I would find a way back to you..."

Another day went by.

Another 24 hours of bloodshed.

It was beginning to get exhausting.

Your horse guided your way back to the cabins. Back inside the walls. If you were being honest, the inside of the walls were much terrifying than it's exterior. Fear was more prominent when you found yourself here. With population. Humans.

What was so terrible?

Everything.

Every person that has dedicated their life to eradicate titans from the world, they feel it more than anyone around. Survey corps. The name feels like such a high status. It might be...but what would we do of the status when we won't be here to celebrate and enjoy a free life?

Going outside the walls and everytime, every goddam time, coming back with absolute no success. Leaving so many friends, companions, family...behind. Then returning with a heavy heart, with bodies of the people we once used to train with. Only for the people to question our ability.

Maybe...we weren't worth it? Maybe, it was because of us, we hadn't had any success yet. Even though, some of us were already at the edge of Paradis. It's confusing right? But it's our reality for now.

We grew in this depressing, fowl place. Not a lap to put our head on, not a shoulder to cry on...not parents to caress our cheeks and give us hope. How long could we possibly survive.

And that's the funny thing...we did. Mikasa, Sasha, Armin, Eren..his mere name makes your heartache. That freedom crazy bastard. Connie, Annie, Jean.

Down the path of this whole 'end titans' agenda, we lost more than we could've imagined. Bertholdt, Marco...Reiner, Commander Erwin.

Your eyes had started to pool with tears. You knew deep down that we were mere pawns, being played here and there because our ancestors couldn't manage themselves. So, even if you knew the other side held the enemies, you knew they were just like you in the end.

You wanted to see him. Jean Kirsten. That idiot. He made you fall for him. By literally doing nothing. You don't know why, you don't know how. But he seems to attract you for some reason.

Although, he's always crazy about girls and showing off infront of them. You don't particularly like these types of guys, who act desperate but he...you just find him cute. At first, you thought you were going crazy because that's how it seemed. Eventually, when you grew up with him...it all made sense.

He looked different now. His hair were longer, he had slight facial hair which was a cherry on top. He grew taller and his shoulders became broad. Tch, it's weird you even noticed all these things.

So you decided to invade Connie's cabin today, because jean and him were roommates. You realised it was his weekly smoke sesh which consisted of smoking, drinking & chatting absolute shit about the pricks we call the police, military and people we genuinely hate.

Jean would be manspreaded, sat on the uncomfortable bed, you besides him, exhaling smoke into the air as he'd tilt his head back ever so slightly- the stuble on his face prominent and his mullet abit messy.

"you wanna smoke?" He'd say with a slight chuckle passing you the blunt. How sad, the smoke made you feel suffocated. You didn't like it one bit. However, you needed to be by him tonight.

"I despise it." You say, eyes still on the table infront of you. Connie was on the sofa, sleeping like a log.

"You're no fun... " he'd say with a smile "so, how was ur week y/n?"

You leaned back on the bed, your arms supporting you, "pretty shit honestly...killing titans, cleaning their filthy blood from my swords, watching my mates...loosing to some of those gigantic idiots."

The sorrow was dripping out of you at this point. You had to control it. Keep it in a jar. However, Jean didn't make it any easy. Your eyes gazed at his perfect side profile. A high bridged nose, piercing light brown eyes and his soft lips. You sighed, and went back to staring at the table. Escaping the feeling he made you feel just by looking at him.

Jean chuckled, "I feel you." His lips were stretched in a smile but you could feel the pain in it. He'd nod his head in a comforting way, as always. And somehow, you had gotten used to this. "So, why the depressing week? Titans? Losing? Or just generally?"

His arms curled around your shoulder, sending goosebumps on your skin. He touches so nonchalantly, not knowing the effect he has on you.

"...just..generally." A heavy exhale escaped your lips. "You wanna talk about it?" He said while staring at you from the side. God, you have to control yourself so much around him. And he doesn't make it any easier.

"Nah it's fine...i wouldn't wanna burden you with it. Besides..." you paused and walked to the window. "The weather is beautiful today." a wave of breeze makes your hair dance as you close your eyes, feeling easy.

It didn't go unnoticed by him as he took steps to join you. The light breeze causing your hair to flow. His heart rate had increased, was it the booze? But..maybe he has always felt like this? He doesn't know and nor does he care. "Wow, your hair looks stunning." He whispered, as his fingers tuck a few strands behind your ear.

The surroundings were dead silent. You were afraid he'd hear your heartbeat. Or he might see your red cheeks. God, why'd he have to be like this? You turn your face away.

"I guess the weather is pretty good" he chuckled. "It's also a pretty good time for a kiss." He gave a cheeky smile, teasing you.

This basta- Oh my god! You kept chanting in your brain 'calm down', and you ahve no idea if it was working or not. In fact, you even held your breath, trying to maintain that poker face. A few beats later you yelled "...Connie!! Jean wants to kiss you!"

He laughed aloud, "Y/n! I was joking! Don't do that!" When both of you turned behind to see Connie, he was still asleep. He must've been really tired. Meanwhile Jean, pretended to pout and crossed his arms as he glanced at connie.

The awkwardness faded away for a few seconds. You both kept talking about different things but somehow Jean managed to bring the 'ideal boyfriend' thing in between. Question. How do you tell your crush that they are in fact your ideal type, subtly so that they never suspect a thing?

"But if u were single and were to hypothetically want a handsome guy to kiss u.. I wouldnt mind it being me." He'd chuckle again. He knew he was being a pain in the ass, "I'll be quiet now I promise." But it was also evident, he wanted an answer.

You couldn't help but chuckle, "have you always been desperate?"

He tried to laugh it off nervously, but get slightly embarassed, "Desperate? Nooo.." he paused for a few seconds. And on god you just wanted to pounce on him. Respectfully. Not that you would ever in real life, maybe you had started to get drunk? But..did you even drink? Your eyes trailed down his neck, the first few buttons were undone, exposing his collarbones and chest.

"It's not desperate to let a girl know you like them." His deep voice reached your ears and your eyes went to his at lightening speed. You realised he was looking at you while you were gawking at him shamelessly. Jesus Y/n. So you immediately looked away, flustered.

"..I thought you liked Mikasa.." you had to get that out of your system. He smiled, nudging your shoulder, not answering your question "y/n, I like the way you blush when you're embarrassed" he then laughed, finally coming back to the point, "Also Mikasa is great. I just also find you to be great as well."

"You're spouting nonsense..." You started to walk back to the bed because there was no way you were letting him see this side you. You were sure a few more minutes and smoke would start coming out of your ears. Besides, who taught him to talk like that anyway? When he was younger, he'd always get himself embarrassed infront of others.

He started to follow you. The atmosphere had become tense yet again. He came to a pause behind you, getting close as you stood near a drawer. "I think you're quite the catch." He leaned it to whisper it in your ear. This is unfair. Your breath had started to tremble. He truly makes you feel things.

You felt his hard front on your back, " ...jean.." you managed to say, more like murmur. His hands were now on your waist. "Yes y/n..?" He did it again, he whispered it in your ear. For a moment you felt his lips brush over your neck and god you wanted to lean on him, let your hair fall on one side and let him devour you.

He noticed you're slightly flustered. He shouldn't do this..he still isn't able to figure out if this was due to the drink or you. He knew he was getting hard. His nose was by your forehead, and he could smell you. It intoxicated him. But at the same time he felt like embracing your tiny body in his.

As much as you wanted his hands on your body, you decided to gently remove them, "don't say the words you don't mean..." Your eyebrows furrowed, it was just so painful. He could be saying all of this under the influence of alcohol.

It felt disappointing to lose your touch and yet Jean still smiled, nodding slightly. Placing his hands on your shoulders, "You're right. I was just, trying to be cute. It's probably too early to say that kind of stuff..."

"So, y/n, will you let me try again..? Cause I genuinely do think you're a catch." The way he calls for you, make your heart ache. But...you can't. In fact, you wouldn't want to make this into something more. Because, this world you're living in isn't...gentle at all.

But you can't help it. You are sure you didn't even let a drop of alcohol touch you and yet you feel so high and drunk. It might be his aura or his eyes in particular. So you don't know what's best to do right now...go with your desires or leave him hanging.

After staring at him for a good 30 seconds, you chose the first option.

Using his collars you pulled him close and placed a soft, brief peck on his lips. Then running away for your life to the other room.

He looked shocked. More like perplexed. But it's sad you couldn't see his face. As you think you were getting away, you heard footsteps behind you, realizing he was running after you.

"Hey! That was my first kiss!... And I liked it!" It took a while but he was eventually able to catch up to you, grabbing your hips and pulling you close to him, "I'd like a 2nd one, if I'm being honest."

I'm in trouble. All because of this horse face. He leaned in a little closer, cornering you to the wall, flustered, you say, "that was my first one too..." But the butterflies in your stomach just won't stop fluttering. You tried to escape from his embrace.

He'd chuckle, trying to kiss you again. Your attempts of escaping futile as Jean had quite a strong grip, "Now, y/n. Don't be like that... Give the guy who stole your 1st kiss a 2nd one huh?" he'd smile, blushing a little.

He's so cute. You have no idea what he might be thinking right now. However, it was spontaneous of you to just kiss him out of nowhere. Then it dawned on you that he's drunk. All of this is just because he's drunk. None of it is true. Right now, he's looking at you like you're the only girl in the world and...it makes your heart beat 10 times faster.

You look away, "you're drunk....you won't remember any of this jean..." You take a deep breath, clenching the little fabric of his shirt, "But, if someday, i got the courage to finally confess to you while you're sober...then you can get a second kiss. You hadn't realised but your tears were already dripping down your cheeks, "until then...please don't get my hopes high...and please..stay alive."

A pang. That's what it felt like, seeing you cry. Jean, has always been a soft person. Heck, even the idea of admitting in the survey corps terrified him. But his mother always told him that he was brave. Maybe, that's what drove him to be there with everyone else.

Apart from the negative aspects, if he hadn't took that step, he would've never...never found you. How miserable would he have been then. He takes a step back, dropping his shoulders.

"You're right.. I probably won't remember this once I'm sober... But, when I do forget.. remember this... Drunk or sober... My feelings don't change for you. You're the best girl I've met and whether you accept it or not, I don't just want a kiss"

He smiled again. A bright one this time. Where his eyes turn into crescents and you can see the obvious blush, not knowing if it's because he's drunk or... flustered. "You are amazing."

If anyone still hasn't figured out why he attracted me so much. I hope...it's much clear now.

You tried to calm yourselves down, " ...I have an early...meeting tomorrow with Levi and hange-san.." ,sniffles, "I'll go sleep..."

He'd wipe your tears away, kissing your forehead gently. "Dont you worry now... You go to your little meeting, and when you come back, we can talk."

He'd smile again, getting close to you once again as he looked into your eyes, "You.. Me.. Together.. No alcohol needed."

That night you had a hard time falling asleep. Jean's words kept coming back to you. You, me together, no alcohol needed. And a smile would appear everytime. In fact, you didn't even want to sleep.... probably because, reality had started to feel better than dreams.

Oh, you fell, it was so evident. And you've fallen so deep that if you tried to come back up, you'll lose yourself with it. He was your first love..but at the same time you started to have second thoughts.

The anxiety, if that's what you can call it. There were so many things you were afraid of. But, the number 1 was losing him...so you prayed that night. If any one of us had to leave this world for good, then let it be me first. Let it be me...

The next day you're back to training in the backyard with Mikasa, eren and armin. It's the same old thing but something turns on when it's you four together. There's a touch of comfort and warmth. Armin tells so many facts and stories we three wouldn't even understand, Mikasa would blush seeing eren all motivated to defeat the titans and you'd catch her.

She doesn't seem to hide the fact that she likes him... it's just that, she's afraid to admit it vocally. Just like you. Your eyes get downturned but you turn your attention back to the training.

Jean watches you from a far. It's quite obvious Jean likes you, and that's pretty obvious to him as well because right now, a tinge of jealousy can be felt in his chest. He just wishes, it was him besides you. He was the reason you'd smile like that, where your dimples appear, you didn't even know you had. Although, he'd pretend to look away each time Armin or Eren would catch him staring.

"Eren could you teach me the swing you did that day?" You request the dark haired guy. Eren came behind you. Ok, maybe you should think ahead for the future before you ask for something. Because you thought he'd teach you by doing it himself but apparently he decided to hug you from the behind, and hold the sword, while your bodies were so close together.

He's still watching from a far, his eyes following you. Eren is being a bit flirtatious by placing his arms around you, which Jean notices. Or maybe he's just seeing things because how would Eren, the freedom crazy bastard possibly have the time to flirt? In fact, he won't even know the purpose behind it?

"Ugh... What a flirt" He murmured being a little disgusted. "Hey Mikasa, you wanna tell me about your week?" He'd say in an attempt to distract himself from the jealous feelings of watching you with Eren.

A minute later he finds you ruffling Eren's hair who's on the ground and you're laughing, probably,because eren made a joke. This is all in his brain because that's not true at all, you were laughing because Eren tripped on thin air. And it was funny, to see a guy who can literally turn into someone so huge and crush millions, fall on the ground while making a cute sound.

This time Jean doesn't bother hiding his jealousy and anger. He has a straight face as he watches you play with Eren's hair, his hand clenching the handle of his 3D maneuvering equipment sword.

"Oh you think Eren is so cute!?" He'd say in a mocking tone, trying to get your attention. You turned yourself to him and realised he had been watching you. Wow, he was...watching me? He slowly got closer to you, "What about me?.. I haven't really even got the chance to show you how cute I can be.."

Your eyes go wide for a second. Because A) he's too damn close and B) he just said that aloud, in front of your friends. Which was even more embarassing. But he seemed to not care. You take a step back, "what..are you talking about?" Your cheeks are so red right now, why did the weather have to be clear today?

"Me?... Why, I simply thought you seemed to be getting a little.. flirty with Eren." He'd chuckle nervously before stepping closer again. Your poor heart was in no way ready for this. "I just thought I'd show you what you've been missing out on when you've been hanging out with that hot headed idiot.."

In no time, you're literally corned to the concrete wall behind and he slightly tilted his face. If it wasn't for the support of the wall you bet you'd fall down because just the way he's talking right now is making you go crazy enough to even let out a moan. Jesus..

You look away, trying to come up with something. You know damn well he looks majestic right now but unfortunately you don't have the courage to look straight at him. So you say, " ....just so you know ...it's hard for me to talk to boys that I find attractive..." Your cheeks go even more red, " ...ahem...captain Levi is calling me." And you walk away.

Jean was quite literally stunned. Shocked. Perplexed. And whatever else you can say instead of 'surprised'. He doesn't move an inch from where he trapped you while you walk away, "y/n...!" He finally yells. "You find.. Me.. Attractive?" He'd ask. His face would go red as he'd look after you.

"Well, when you get back we are gonna have a talk.." yeah sure whatever you say pretty boy. Was what you had in mind but no way you were ready for that 'talk' yet. You thought you were the only with a bright scarlet face when on the other hand, Jean is literally dying of shyness. So you just raised a middle finger in the air, trying to run away without any words.

He frowned as you flicked him off, "Well I hope your happy now that you got that out of your system.. Just wait until you see me when you come back" He'd put his middle finger up as well, and stick his tongue out at you. But then quickly rethink what happened and get flustered again.

Meanwhile the people around you were....well..not surprised.

"Finally..." Mikasa let out and Eren follows, "I thought they'd already be married or something." And continues with his punches in the air. "Eren.." Armin says as if to scold him, "what? You can even ask the infiltrators, they thought the same..."

*

A while later you're under a tree, looking off into the setting sun. Jean appeared behind you, resting his body against the tree as he watched you sit there.

"What you doing over here y/n? You look deep in thought.. I'd hate to distract you." His deep voice, which had now quite frankly, started to sound like honey, reached your ears.

"It's not a thought but..I find sunsets so pretty." You say, not breaking your gaze from the sky. But then you turn around and signal him to sit besides you. He smiled before sitting down next to you, leaning his head against the tree as he kept his eyes on you.

"They are indeed quite pretty.." his eyes move to the sunset then back to you, "but I think you're more beautiful than any sunset."

"..you're cheesy as ever." You chuckled. And... Something shifted in Jean's eyes as he looked at you. Maybe even in his heart. It made him content, that it was you who was smiling next to him.. because of him. The orange and golden hues of the sun reflect perfectly on your skin. As if you already didn't look like a goddess, the dipping sun made you look etheral. Your eye color now more visible because of the bright light. You're just so...pretty. And..Jean can't get tired of watching and observing you. Its like everytime he finds something pretty in you.

"I can't help it.. I'm a sucker for romance." He sighed, staring at the sky with you. "I'm also a sucker for beautiful girls.. you are the perfect combination."

A gush of butterflies fill your gut, and you smile, "you know, I must say... you're the reason I've stopped feeling insecure."

"I am?" He intentionally made a surprised look and when you chuckled while playing with the grass, his eyes became soft once again, "You know.. seeing you smile like that is always a great sight for me. It makes me believe maybe just maybe... I also make you feel something."

He stretched his arms and legs out to stretch contently while he inhaled sharply and your eyes fell on his built physique. His structured face and brown hair. You wish to play with them..style them in cute hairstyles and bows. The thought made you smile, but then...he turned to you and said, "It's quite a beautiful night isn't it.."

"Yeah.." you said not looking at the sky but him instead, "Its..beautiful." The sun had set entirely and it became darker than before. Just at the right time, as though the universe was playing it's cards, a wave of wind blew your hair prettily.

Jean watches the way the wind blew through your hair, before opening his eyes and looking at your face. He'd tilt his head, placing his hands on your shoulders and gently turning your face to him. He'd hold eye contact with you before moving closer.

"You have the most kissable lips y/n.." He chuckled before leaning in closer and brushing his nose against yours. You could feel his breath, and it sent goosebumps all over you. Your stomach was doing sommersaults. And again, his scent, a mix of an earthly smell but at the same time a fragrance that intoxicated you.

"...jean... you're too close.." you breathed out heavily.

"Too close?"

"And if I get closer?" He leaned in.

"Do I get to kiss those beautiful lips?"

Your throat had beginning to feel tight and you chest...it felt like a drum as of now. What should you even do right now? Your mind went blank, until, you hear a voice calling from a distance, "s-sasha is calling me.." you whispered.

He smiled and then gently turned your face towards him again,"hm?" Gosh that was so hot of him...he pressed himself against you and pulled you closer so that both your bodies were touching. He'd hold your chin gently with his hands, "I know you want to kiss me. It's the only thing you can think about right now.. I can feel it"

You didn't have the confidence to even say something let alone look him in the eye. Meanwhile you felt his gaze on you, with each second a pool of desire growing inside both of you and just..a fuzzy feeling inside you couldn't quite point out.

He kissed your neck gently, his lips soft against your skin. He'd move his head up again to look at your lips, "Don't fight it anymore..." You flinched at the touch, it was like an electric shock. You still tried with all your might, to turn this situation into a normal one, "J-jean....Sasha's calling me.."

"Sasha can wait.. " was what he said. And when he did, you felt vibrations on your nape. A pathetic sound could leave you any time if he didn't stop. He chuckled as his jaw started to clench a little, a small amount of frustration and jealousy in his tone, "It doesn't matter who calls you... I just.. wanna kiss you for gods sake."

Your raised your hand to slowly caress his hair, "..jean." you whispered, "I'm... I'm scared." Eyebrows furrowing as a sense of pain arrived in you, "I'm scared that I'll end up losing you. The world we live is not...gentle. it's cruel...and to love a person truly in this world is...scary."

And you meant it.

You meant every word of it.

Because you've seen it. You've experienced it. You didn't wanna bear that pain anymore. You agree you're weak... because if another person close to you died, you'll lose yourself with it.

"Listen y/n. I may be an idiot sometimes, but I'm not that stupid. I know this world isn't gentle.. Hell it's more cruel than anything I would ever have imagined.. But that's all the more reason to be with the people we love.. What good would it be to survive this nightmare if we can't spend it with the people we love?" He'd move his hand to yours, gently taking your hand, "I'll protect you y/n...I'll keep you safe."

It was just how your mother used to tell you how your dad made her feel. A feeling of comfort, so comfortable that I wanted to cuddle him everytime he was near. And for some reason, my heart rate was always high near him. His eyes...were like an ocean. And I was willing to drown in them.

"Promise?" You extended out your pinky.

Maybe that's how I feel right now.

He'd take your pinky finger and wrap his own around it, "I Promise." He gave a little smile before looking back up at you. He still held your hand, gently rubbing the side of your finger with his thumb.

So, I'll trust you.

You leaned in to reach near his face, a little nervous but wanting to feel his lips. Feeling his breath on them. He watched you as you got closer to him, his eyes trailed down to your lips and then back up again. He moved his head closer to yours, leaning in close before he finally pressed his lips against yours. He wrapped his arms around your body in order to pull you closer. His lips were firm, yet gentle. He'd kiss you for what felt like an eternity. Like that comfort your mom told you about. Your hands were in his hair while his held you close.

At first, it felt like just a touch of lips, but then a desire evoked in you to feel them again. That soft feeling. He sucked on your bottom lip and you enjoyed every little bit of it, moving back to kissing where his tongue explored the insides of your mouth. You didn't even knew he could kiss like that. He's...perfect. But he eventually broke the kiss.

"God damn.." He'd chuckle, pressing his arms close. You mirror his reaction by smiling, "...guess I do have kissable lips." "More than kissable, they are perfect lips"

He'd give you a little peck on the lips before gently rubbing your neck again, looking you in the eye again, "You really are amazing y/n... You really make me feel things I've never thought were possible, and you probably don't even realize it."

You rested your forehead on his while your hands held his neck, "..I felt the same when I saw you for the first time in the survey corps." You trail off the memory lane, "I was young..and so were you. But..you seemed to be intrigued by Mikasa...not that I can't relate but..I felt a little pang on my heart, so I just kept my distance." You were surprised you even let it out your system.

"Hearing you talk like this makes me feel like I should've came up and made my feelings known much earlier.. But, I'm here now. Let's make things right."

How does he know what to say every goddam time?

His eyes softened as he looked into yours. He would slowly take his hand out from your neck and move it to rest on your leg, slowly rubbing your thigh. You knew this wouldn't end at a kiss if you didn't stop this man, "You know that sasha was calling me right?" You murmured.

"Now I have to wonder.. Just what is sasha calling you for?"

"probably because the food is served and getting cold..."

"So food is more important than me?"

"Mhmm.." you said in a teasing tone.

"Alright.. But when we come back from eating, I'm probably gonna have to kiss you again just to remind you of what you have when you aren't eating." He got up to face you properly again, "don't be surprised if I try and steal another kiss"

"Jeez..." You took his hand in yours and chuckled, "we'll see about that later.." as both of you went in the dining room.

He slowly started walking, while looking at you with a smile, "I'm sure I won't let you escape me so easily." He whispered, "We'll see about that horse face." You winked in his direction, "Horse face?" He acted as if he got offended, "What have you got against horses anyway?" He'd nudge you lovingly, gently squeezing your hand, "I think horses are beautiful, majestic creatures. And a little bit of a compliment, sweetheart."

Your eyes automatically go wide on the use of the nickname, "stop..with those nicknames." Guess you're already a thing huh?

"Sweetheart?" He chuckled and look at you, "Do you not like nicknames then?"

"I..I do.." you say, red as a tomatoe, "let's go" upon entering the room you give him a peck on the cheek and sit next to sasha while continuing eating your food.

Both of you were fools in love.

"I'll make sure sweetheart that I give you as many kisses as you can handle from now on. Just to make up for all that I've missed out on." He whispered to himself. Throughout the dinner he kept looking at you after every bite. As if, you were gonna fade away from his sight.

*

You just came from a meeting again.

The same people, stressing over the same thing. But each time, there was a new hurdle. With a solution that would cost one of us our lives.

And this time it was eren. I knew it. Maybe...others knew it as well.

With all the new information in mind, we, the Eldians, have to clear the remaining titans of Paradis Island before traveling to the coast for the first time in centuries.

Will I be able to join them? Will I finally see this sea Armin keeps talking about?

But what lies ahead of that Island? ... it's, nothing but enemies, and it doesn't matter which version of history proves to be the correct one — because either way, Marley is gunning for us, and we must fight back.

Will I be able to join Jean?

You walk out of the room. Knowing you have more titans to fight. An emergency had arrived. And you volunteered to be the first one. As you're walking out, you find a figure walking towards you. A good 6 feet of a man.

Oh, that's my man.

His eyes would trail off, thinking about something "Hmm.." you sighed, "what's your pretty head thinking?"

"I was just thinking about how much you smile, you're such a beautiful girl, sweetheart." And you don't know if it was meant to be sarcastic because you do sure look the opposite of what he said right now. He'd let out a sigh of content as he leaned his head against the tree, "I like this tree. I think it helps me forget about everything for a little while though.. So it's nice to just relax like this for a minute.."

You scoffed. There. He managed to break that shell of negative energy around you, "Look at you sweet-talking me."

"Is it working? I'm not exactly a master at this kind of thing."

'not a master' sure. As if he doesn't know the things to say that make your legs weak. He nudged you playfully, "But it is working right, cause if yes, then I have some extra flirting lined up for you." A smirk appeared on his lips.

"We have titans to fight, and Levi and hange-san are literally like a metre away. They'll hear."

"So you'd rather flirt in private in the trees, hm? Because I can make that happen." He said with a shit-eating grin and his eyebrows raised. "Or is it that you're shy?" He laughed a little, "Please tell me that you're not shy, I can't take that"

You raised your eyes, staring into his, "it took me so many years to be honest about my feelings, do you still think I can be confident?" You start walking towards the horses.

He'd follow after you and look into your eyes as you did to him, "Aww, y/n.. You're so adorable like that. I don't know how you expect me to get any work done when you're looking at me like that and plus I don't think you can be confident. You are confident, whether you like it or not"

He'd smile softly and gently caress your cheek with his hand, "You're perfect y/n."

You don't even realise that your eyes are getting filled with tears. All you can think about right now is being with him. In fact, you don't even want to go fight those stupid huge things, you just want to...stay besides him. As if on instinct you open your arms and hug him, embrace him tightly. And you guys just stand there for a while, Jean's hands caressing your back, as though he knows the rush of anxiety you're going through. His "shhh" and "it's alright's" actually impacted you. But you think...now you'll always need him. You'll always require him and only him to comfort you.

"Now go, go on. They're all looking at you waiting for you to do something." You wipe your eyes before he can see your tears and just look at him. Wih a clear vision. With a deep breath you walk down to the stables to fetch your horse.

He'd lean against the tree again and watch you, grinning as his eyes trailed down your body gently. He'd watch the way you walked, from your ass to your legs. Eventually he'd look back up at your face and smirk before taking a deep breath and closing his eyes.

Sasha comes by him, "who're you staring at?"

"No one" He'd smile slightly "Just enjoying the view, that's all."

He'd then open his eyes to look up at you "What are you doing here though Sasha? It's not time for your training yet is it?"

Sasha narrows her eyes, "horse face, I've been a little too suspicious of you and y/n..." she looks between you two, "what is going on with you two?"

"If you must know, y/n really is beautiful, so why shouldn't I be interested? She's funny, charming, and she's an amazing kisser...."

Sasha cranes her neck so hard that she hears a 'crack' "Ow!" Jean stops to look at her, "woah easy.."

"Then.. that'd mean you..you kissed her?"

And all he did was give a wink. But Sasha appeared rather worried. Maybe, it was just like all those times. Jean just wanted attention, someone to be with him. She was worried you'd end up getting your heart broken. But when she stared at Jean for a while, she realised...the way he looked at you, was similar to the way Mikasa looked at eren...and that said something. Because Sasha has only ever seen her being so devoted to someone. "You're in love Jean..." Sasha says.

"You're damn straight I'm in love with her. I don't think I've ever felt like this about anyone before."

Sasha smirks and pats Jean's shoulder, "good luck getting your angel..." And leaves.

He'd groan as he realised that Sasha was right, before he'd turn back and look at you once more before walking, his hands into his pockets, "...angel though." He'd smirk as he leaned against the tree again, thinking about what Sasha said. "Y/n... My angel? I like that. Maybe that'll be one of her nicknames.." He'd sigh, smiling faintly as he thought about different nicknames he knew you would definitely like or hate.

You walked up to him with your horse. "I believe you might've seen Sapphire but never had a good introduction." You bring her close with the leash to Jean, rubbing the bridge of her nose, "Say hi Sapphire,...this..is my lover."

He smiled at the name you gave the horse while gushing over how you called him your lover and pet her head gently before turning to you, "...Be safe y/n, okay?" He looks into your eyes gently and makes a promise to you before climbing onto the horse with you, "And when you get back, I'm getting that second kiss. You better remember that, cause I know I do.."

You blush at the proximity of you two on the horse. So close, it was just like the night it all started. His hard front upon your back, his warmth on your arms and his breath felt on the crook of your neck.

"...now get off i have work to do."

"Alright, alright", He'd hop off and watch as you rode out of the training grounds and off towards your mission,"Good luck y/n!" He called out to you as you started riding further away. He'd then take one last look at you, blushing a little for a moment before looking away, "I'm gonna need that kiss next time I see you." Yes. He yelled it. Infront of everyone. And he knows the kind of expression you'd be making. And how you'd scold him once you get back but then melt away with his touch.

*

Those were the last words i heard.

Before the echoing roars of these monsters.

You were frozen. Seeing the horrendous conditions of the village. You thought the titans were finally eliminated at least from the villages, because the only ones left were around the Paradis island.

Your feet didn't let you make a move. Besides, Sapphire was injured in her back limb. Everything around you happened in slow motion. From the blood splashing everywhere, to the head of titans being slaughtered to the ground. Or the fellow soldiers being ruthlessly handled by the titans.

You...should do something.

"Now go, go on. They're all looking at you waiting for you to do something."

Even in this battlefield, his voice sounded clear. It echoed throughout your brain. A moment later, a fellow corps member came by you, informing you how the the person who was supposed to call for back up was crushed by the titans. Meaning.... there's no way this can end easily.

Maybe...

Just maybe, this might be the end.

'If any one of us had to leave this world for good, then let it be me first. Let it be me...'

With a deep breath, you whipped sapphire's leash and she was obeying while running towards the titans. A deep rage had awoken inside of you. A deep,..desire to..fight!

You rode all across the biggest Titan which seemed to be crushing everyone around. As soon as you reached it, it tried to kill you by using its feet but you dogded it successfully, thanks to Sapphire.

With that being said, his feet once stomped right besides you, that's when you took the chance to use your sword as a support for climbing it's huge body. When it pierced it's skin, it tried to yank you off of him but you kept hanging. Grunting, it was hard... you were sweating all over and your clothes were splattered by blood.

With much power you managed to climb till it's arms which was a bad idea, it's big hand came hovering over your tiny body. However, you hung yourself on to the finger and used the 3D maneuvering gear to reach till it's nape and slash it.

The cut was successful, you hung yourself on a tree branch, panting heavily. Tears flowing uncontrollably. You screamed. You screamed your lungs off because this was exhausting. You were wailing. Don't know for what?

Freedom? Love? Death?

Something..that gave me peace.

You let your guard off too soon.

You hear a crack, and when you look down, it's the same Titan, using its body to cut down the tree. Your wide eyes looks at it in horror. Fear was creeping inside of you....was it? Because you didn't try doing anything on instinct. You...just wanted to fall.

"Be safe y/n, okay?"

His voice still lingers on. His touch as well. His warmth...

You were going to fight. If not for yourself then for Jean. The tree began to tilt and you used your gear just in time to cling on to the another tree. Another Titan had started to hover over you. It had enormous eyes and it's hair were crippled and messy. Your hooded eyes looked at it and while grinding your teeth, you used all your strength to slash it's nape. Your other injuries were starting to act up. Especially, the one where the titan threw a big ass rock at you.

This time, it was successful. However, the gas in your gear had started to decrease. To the point...it went empty. You fell off in mid air...

Half unconscious because of the previous injuries.

Somehow, this felt...quiet. and nice.

It was like all your worries were gone. Just you sliding down, like in your dreams. However, this time you weren't gonna wake up with a jolt.

The tears prickled at the corner of your eyes as the memories of your teammates, your friends, your family started to appear. You smiled nonetheless. And the last memory before your blood started to run cold, was of that horse face. That idiot who made you fall for him. Called, Jean Kirstin.

And before you knew you were gasping for oxygen because you had hit the hard ground. As the last tear fell, your eyes closed...for an eternity.

*

Jean would turn around to see Armin running with a worried expression. "Wh-what happened Armin?"

"The village where the titans attacked..." He paused and hunched over to pant, "The bodies..they brought the bodies!"

His eyes automatically grew wide. Just thinking that you were also involved in this. He ran with Armin as both of them went to the group of survivors that fought. All of them injured, Captain Levi, could be seen near a man, his clothes also spoiled with blood spots. Somehow it relieved him to see Captain Levi, he thought if he was here then that'd mean you were safe.

His head moved in every direction to look for you. He even called out for you in the crowd. Until a man responded, "are you perhaps looking for..Y/n?" And Jean immediately shook his head. However, the expression of the man made his anxiety act up. He saw the man shuffle something in his pockets, "She clenched it hard in her hands.."

"Y/n?" He'd say, his eyes widening as his heart stopped. He'd take the pendant and look down at it, not knowing what to say or do, "I-I don't understand.. She was just here.. It can't be.." He'd mutter, placing his other hand on his head in distress. His other hand would hold the pendant to his heart, staring at it with a dead expression "y/n.."

Armin who was standing beside Jean, was stunned. "It can't be.." he whispered. Captain Levi from a distance walked over to them, "I caught her before she could hit the ground..." Levi's hoarse voice informed. "It couldn't be helped.." he said and left.

Jean knew deep inside Levi was beating himself for not being able to save you. The man spoke up once again, "You can..see her body."

He took a step back, feeling the world around him spin. His body felt like it was going to crumble any minute now he was so shocked. "No.." He said, softly as he looked down at the necklace "I-I want to remember her when she was alive.. And I don't think I could handle being near the body without falling to pieces.. He'd take a pause, letting out a sigh as he tried to compose himself.

For the briefest moment, he felt proud that you had been able to protect everyone from that titan before he quickly realised the truth.

"...She's dead now..." He'd murmur "We have to tell everyone else.. Especially Eren and Mikasa.. They.. They were the closest to her.. And... She was gonna kiss me..."

He'd take a deep breath, feeling the pain of the loss all too well "..She'll never kiss me now..."

Eren, Mikasa, Connie and Sasha come running towards you. This time Sasha spoke, "Jean... where's Y/n?"

He kept quite. Not saying a word. He just couldn't. He couldn't say that you were gone. His eyes would lock with Eren's, staring right at him with tears in his eyes, "She's... She's gone..I couldn't do anything.." His voice broke at the end and he looked down at the ground, closing his eyes, "I-I couldn't save her Sasha... I couldn't save her..."

It was not something new. It had happened quite a few times before. Then..how come it affected them so much this time? Everyone's voices would seem quiet to Jean as he spoke. All he could hear was his own thoughts at this point, "I couldn't save her.. Why.. Why couldn't it have been me? She should be here now..."

Connie put a hand on jean's shoulder, "it's not only your fault...we..we couldn't do anything as well." tears trickled from his eyes.

He looked at Connie, "But I was supposed to be there with her.. I was supposed to protect her... I don't understand.." He'd place his hand on his forehead as he looked back up, "I should've been able to save her.. That's what I should've been able to do.."

this time Mikasa spoke, "jean...she would've wanted you to be strong." she wiped her tears, "..let's start with burying her..." He'd sniff slightly and nod gently

"That's.. Right.. She wouldn't want me just standing here mopping.. We need to move..". He'd then turn to everyone and motion for them to follow him, "Let's get moving, I know where she wanted me to bury her."

He started walking towards the forest, waiting for the others to follow him before continuing through the trees, away from the military grounds.

It was the tree, under which you both shared your first kiss. And a confession as well.

"Alright... This is the place.. y/n and I would come here a lot whenever we got a break from training. She loved it here, so this is where I'm gonna bury her."

He'd take a deep breath, trying to calm himself down before starting to dig the grave "It shouldn't be too big.. We don't wanna attract any mindless titans."

He'd say this to explain himself more than anything else. Connie, Levi and eren help in digging the ground. A while later, your body is shown to them. He looked at you with tears in his eyes once again. He took in your face, running his eyes over you.

He noticed every mark on your face, all the little things that made him love you so much and he physically winced at your state. He'd sigh again heavily, putting a hand on your cheek. Eyes closed, he brought you closer to his chest, like you were just asleep and he wanted you to keep being like that.

A small tear rolled down his face as he held you gently, taking in your warmth one last time.

Everyone went silent. The atmosphere was sad, a few raindrops fell. It was as if the sky cried for you. Levi, finally told jean to bury the body.

He gave your face one last gentle kiss before slowly laying you down gently inside the grave, "I got the kiss...i guess." He paused and sighed before covering you with the soil, tears rolling down his face as he did so.

"I'll miss you.. My angel..so much.." He wiped his eyes gently "...I love you y/n.. always."

Love...funny thing isn't it?

His eyes looked up at the sky, as he began to think, though it seemed more like he was speaking to himself.

He would take a deep breath, still looking up at the sky "..Yeah, it's a funny thing, even when it hurts..."

I'll always love you. So, let's meet in another universe. Where I can be embraced by you peacefully, where I won't have to worry about losing you, where we'll talk about all the silly things. Where I'll give you your second kiss.

"I'll always love you y/n too, my sweet angel"

He smiled gently as he began to imagine a place where he could hold you once more, feeling the love he had for you deeply as he looked up at the sky.

"Maybe in another universe I'll be able to hold you.. And kiss you once more, a sweet kiss with no regrets or anything holding me back..."

"...maybe there's one where you're still alive, and where I could have a chance to hold you one more time..."

The end.

[avatarskywalker78]

It's Work in Progress Wednesday and I've been trying to make a dent in my WIP list!! I completed and uploaded the Wario centric one yesterday and I've been trying to make some headway into the others using the advice from the WIP clearout post. The first extract is from my 'Alex & Daniel' wip - where Daniel Sousa offers to look after an eight-year-old Alex Thompson for the day, and is a little apprehensive about it.

Daniel would like to say that he didn’t know how he’d been talked into this, but that would be a lie – he’d been talked into it because the Thompsons were practically family and had asked for this favour, and because Peggy was too busy at SHIELD to help look after Alex for the day, so it had been left up to him.

It wasn’t like he hadn’t had to look after children before, of course, but still, he couldn’t help but be a little nervous – he’d only looked after Alex a handful of times and those had been when she was very small, not the bouncy eight-year-old who’d be coming to stay for a few hours, and there was always a worry about having to look after someone else’s child. Especially the granddaughter of one of his closest friends. Plus, he wasn’t exactly getting any younger here, so he wouldn’t be able to keep up as much as he might’ve done back in the day – and he already felt exhausted as Sophia parked the car and Alex came running over with a speed he envied. “Uncle Daniel!” She rushed towards him and for a second he feared she was about to leap at him and expect him to catch her because that really would send him crashing to the floor— She didn’t. She did, however, knock the wind out of him and almost bowl him over with the force of the resulting hug. “Oof.” “Sorry!” She jumped back, apologetic. “I didn’t hurt you, did I? Mom says I get too overexcited sometimes.” “I’m fine.” He assured her as he got his breath back, Sophia coming over and looking faintly amused. “Nothing wrong with a hug, kiddo, you just gotta be a little careful - you could’ve knocked me flying.” “Sorry.” She hugged him gentler this time. “I’ve just been looking forward to this for ages.” “I got that.” He said with a laugh, returning the hug. “It’s great to see you too, Alex.”

I have identified a couple of the main blocks; not only have I not watched the source material for a few years, but...I also don't have a clear plan for the fic!! Which isn't helpful, but now I know I can work on it - I've already found both seasons so a rewatch will be a great help (and not just for this one).

Another one I've been working on is...the Sad Westhallen Fic!! Which might not be as sad as it originally was - Barry's still dead but the bulk of the fic is going to be his friends and family sharing all the good memories they have and celebrating his life - but, of course, Eddie and Iris are still dealing with the loss, compounded by the fact their twins have basically no memories of their dad.

It wasn't meant to be like this. Days after Eddie had been freed from captivity, days after Barry, Oliver, and Teams Flash and Arrow brought down Eobard and called in Rip Hunter to see justice served, that had been when he'd finally start to believe - at least a little - that maybe, maybe things would get better. It had been far from easy, of course - Eddie and Iris's relationship was...not on hold, exactly, but any talk of marriage was shelved for the time being until he got the help he needed, which had made sense, of course, but...part of him had worried that she'd choose Barry in the end after all, because the other man was kind and brave and unflinching, someone who would treat Iris right and all Eddie had ever, ever wanted was for Iris to be happy. And if Barry was the one to make her happy... Who was he to stand in the way of that? Course, this had been a symptom of his depression, and once he'd started going to therapy he'd realised how spectacularly untrue it was. Iris and Barry were nothing but supportive the whole time and Iris assured him that she still loved him and always would. She wasn't going anywhere - and neither was Barry. This had made him feel all warm and fuzzy inside - and he'd finally had to admit that yes, he was in love with Barry too, and had been for some time.

This one needs a rewatch too, so it'll either be this or Agent Carter that I rewatch after I finished OUAT S1.

Tagging (let me know if you want to be added or removed): @shrinkthisviolet @starstruckpurpledragon @dream-beyond-the-fantasy @daughter-of-melpomene

[eshtaresht]

holy. fuckin'. DAMN. I was pretty good at predicting the plot so far, but this episode proved that stampede is going in a whole new direction for real. spoilers for ep 9!!! (and manga a bit)

first of all, we still haven't got a full story of the great fall, but I think it's something they'll reveal in this season, probably during confrontation with knives. and still no scar reveal!! I'm angy but it's something that could be relevant to the standoff with knives, hope we'll get it

the piano scene... oh we're eating GOOD, it's just so wholesome but goes to confirm my theory that twins weren't completely fine on the ship. vash feeling useless because he can't do cool plant shit, knives envying vash for being good at human shit.... oh it's great

so glad knives is getting proper characterization and not just "he evil because he evil"! the fear, the hurt, the genuine care for vash, but then frustration with him – it's right there and I'm eating it up so yummy

the way they recontextualized vash's arm loss is GORGEOUS! I've seen ppl reading this scene differently, but to me it was an act of care from naï. he looks really scared for a reason: we see that the gate consumed all matter, including the hand. vash couldn't control it, so it would only grow bigger and destroy him. NAÏ REALIZED THIS AND SAVED VASH THE ONLY WAY HE COULD

he didn't want to fight him, this was not an act of anger, like in previous versions. all he cared about in that moment was saving his twin..... and what did he get in return? a gun pointed to his face. a gun he gave vash to kill human scum. oh, the DRAMA

ahem, now to the less intense stuff

homeboy has so much trauma, like, damn... how is he gonna fit any more from his impending epic brother fight...... I'm quite curious on how they're gonna characterize him in the next season. concidering that we're taking off earlier than previous versions, he might end up with the same unhinged vibe 98' vash had, as a coping mechanism (if depression didn't work, try dissociation and silliness). but then it would be even more interesting to see meryl's and wolfwood's reactions: they knew him before the accident and saw the big sad

vash has sense in the prosthetic arm, so it must've hurt when he damaged it... probably it hurts less than the real one, and it's clearly painless to take off. but the hand seems to be rather sensitive and fic writers are gonna go crazy for this

age reveal! also brad and luida being in cryosleep makes sense, I was racking my brain on how they're still alive. seems like they're using much more plant power tho... both for cryo and the vegetation, while in manga they tried to keep it as low as possible and send signals to earth

saw someone say that they're probably not doing that here because the earth is destroyed... could be that they decided to go the hard way. but in the manga the earth was still fucked, and it wasn't clear if they communicated with the ppl left on the planet or the fleet that was in some new place. what I'm saying is, there is a possibility that they are looking for help in stampede, we just don't know it yet

meryl was so cute! go off, comedy relief goofy girl, while you can, there is more trauma coming your way :3 yeah, enjoy roberto calling you by your first name... oh it would be such a shame if he gave you his derringer before his untimely death..........

pretty weird that nobody knows why they fell on no man's land, but ppl probably were too ashamed of their past and 150 years later the new generation is oblivious. also so funny that luida has to explain what vegies are..... they have so many plants but haven't see any plants

tbh I wasn't expecting the zazie twist at all, but I'm excited! they are SO gender in stampede, might be the best redesign in the series, love me a genderless bug creature with bold fashion choices. really cool to see that storyline adapted, it was barely touched upon in the last volumes of trimax

btw the multiple bullets story about a plant, worm and human who went around figuring out if their species could coexist and just.... creating this foud family and then building a town there all were equal...... that's my favorite mb story for sure

wolfwood saying "I'm not your friend"... I know what you are. and we got a "you'll have to decide one day"... oh oh the misery, but the context was lacking. it just doesn't hit the same when he isn't daring vash to shoot him in the most homoerotic way possible. on and he looks so goofy trying to ride with his cross

in the last ep's rant I assumed that luida lied about rem saving everybody for some reason?? but no, she actually saved them, I just got a bit confused

so, as I predicted, the gang separated (tho not because of vash) and by the end of the next episode vash'll be in july and meet naï. the poster, man.... that gorgeous futuristic city is getting obliterated for sure

btw vash's gate being opposite to knives and sort of a black hole is nothing new. but there are new layers to this, like vash willingly giving away energy, but destroying things against his will, and knives with the opposite of this. ying yan twins go brrrr

[rynnthefangirl]

So… looks like Battle of the Gullet is on the edge of happening. What do we think they are gonna do about the Aegon the Younger age issue? We already have him and Stormcloud both too small for their battle escape as established in the current timeline. If Tyland’s fleet intersects them, then there is no in universe ambiguity with which to age them up and hand wave away a vague time lapse.

Option 1: They do it anyway, and hope nobody cares. There doesn’t need to be too much of an age increase. The actors they used in season 2 will probably be old enough by the time of filming, and if they recast they can always recast someone slightly older. I think 6 or so would be enough. Stormcloud would need to be bigger too, but again you can probably do that and just let the inconsistency stand (my ideal option, though I unfortunately don’t think they will go this route).

Option 2: Another, more likely one, is rewriting the scene to remove Aegon’s agency. Instead of him escaping on Stormcloud, he may be rescued by the Dragonseeds. This should be an easy enough rewrite, and you can still have Viserys lost in the chaos if he and Aegon get separated. Stormcloud could die just in the general battle. Obviously I dislike this option, as it erases a very very key moment in Aegon’s book arc, a formative experience that (along with Rhaenrya’s murder) is a driving factor of his depression and trauma. Specifically his self blame and survivors guilt. It also erases one of the most heartbreaking dragon deaths. Baby Stormcloud dying will be sad no matter what, but carrying Aegon all the way back to Dragonstone while shot full of arrows because he refuses to fall until his rider is safe… you cannot top that.

Option 3: Enact some sort of delay in the Battle of the Gullet in the in universe timeline. I am not sure how this would be done. Rhaenyra is about to take kings landing, and I’m not sure it makes sense for her to still send her sons to Pentos once the city is secure. Though with the Gullet by Dragonstone, they could also be attacked when heading to Kings Landing. Perhaps they stay at another port for a while, or are called back for the Vale once word comes of Rhaenrya taking the city. Meanwhile Tyland’s ships are taking time to prepare an attack plan. Even a small ambiguity in the timeline can be used to sneak in a couple years age up. We also do need more time for Jace’s character arc to be complete, before the Gullet happens.

Option 4: Aegon’s role in the Gullet could be substituted with Joffrey, who is already old enough. However, I hate this option more than any other. It is absolutely nothing against Joffrey, but I don’t want any of Aegon III’s few moments given up to another character. It feels insulting if they clearly are willing and capable of doing the scene, and simply chose not to do it with the future king for whom the event is a cornerstone of their character. I’d rather them simply not do it at all, as in Option 2.

Honestly if they give the Battle of the Gullet plot point to Joffrey, and the Rhaenyra’s death plot point to Alicent, I think I would actually lose my mind. Like I would be done. I have a very very high tolerance of changes to the source material because I view HOTD as it’s own separate canon, but giving away the backstory of my #1 favorite Targaryen (and if I’m being totally honest, ASOIAF character, minor as he may be) to other characters will be my line. I can’t do that. One event would be bad enough, but both of them??? Nah.

On a side note: I find it very interesting that with Tyland bringing the fleet from Essos, he will be responsible for both of the two major traumatizing moments of Aegon the Younger’s childhood. I like that change, adds more poignancy to Aegon’s eventual forgiveness of him.

[juminsswife]

my thoughts on Netflix's ATLA live action

As an adult who watched this show growing up and was there for the countdown to the comet (iykyk!!) I have thoughts!

Best: Zuko. angsty, teenage boy depression, father issues, determined to a self-destructive degree. The actor is great at capturing all these facets of Zuko's conflicting, complex character. Really great with the choreography/martial arts too. Its not easy to pull off Zuko's mostly shaven but with a ponytail haircut, but this actor manages it. And yes, the opening scene with him seeing the beam of light from the iceberg and saying, "Finally." did give me some chills. Honestly the actor just captures Zuko really well. Great casting.

Worst: Katara. has the personality of an elegant yet unassuming well watered house plant. Its more because of the writing than the actress… she's doing her best with this depressing egg whites version of Katara she's had thrusted upon her. It's not going to be convincing when Toph comes along next season and calls her sugar queen.

Aang: never has any fun. spends every episode staring into the distance being sorrowful and melancholic. *teardrop rolls down cheek* he is a depressed 40 year old in the body of a 12 year old. He has no fun side to him anymore- an important side for a 12 year old kid to have! Also spends the entirety of season one (you know, titled "water"!) and doesn't learn a lick of waterbending, not even from Katara, who spends a lot of it learning from the waterbending scroll!! Why??? However the actor is doing a great job and I think he captures Aang's essence really well. He is young and I think next season he will improve a lot.

Sokka: I almost forgot to write thoughts down for him, which I think says more than anything else. He's essentially been boiled down to the same old overprotective big brother, but now he comes complete with daddy issues. It's a little hilarious that Katara's worst memory is watching her mom get burned alive by a firebender soldier while Sokka's is hearing his dad say he's disappointed with him. Kind of ruins the moment tbh. They really took all the fun aspects of the main Gaang and dulled them down completely, its sad. At least he's cute though- and imo, the chemistry with Suki's actress was there.

The previous avatars: every single one meets Aang just to berate & yell at him and tell him he shouldn't have friends and where has he been for the past 100 years without giving him a second to speak. What?? Sadly it seems any dignity, grace, or wisdom the previous avatars had in the original, has been completely wiped out in this live action. Also, this idea of them telling Aang about things that are going to happen makes no sense. Did no previous avatar tell Roku his friend was going to betray him, let him die on the island, and start a 100 year long war? Also the idea of Aang being able to communicate ONLY if he's in one of their temples is stupid. What is the point of the avatar state, then? Will Roku be able to teach him anything at all?

Princess Yue: yes I wrote an entire paragraph about her lol. She is one of my favorite minor characters. I think they wanted her to look so accurate to her original counterpart that she just looks too much like a cosplayer, with such a stiff and lifeless looking wig. This is the one and only time I will concede I prefer M. Night's version of Yue as far as costuming goes, though both funnily enough forget her eyebrows shouldn't be dark. The actress was fine. But this version of Yue is quite a different person from og Yue, I can't really compare. Plus, it feels like we see her for a good 10 minutes before she dies for the moon spirit. I couldn't buy into her and Sokka having feelings for each other because it felt like they knew each other for a good 2 hours at most. Ideally, I think these two versions kind of fused together would be perfect.

Azula/Mai/Ty Lee: Grouping them together because. Azula is the most unconvincing out of the characters for me. I don't buy that this girl is supposed to be the princess Azula for a second. I'm neither intrigued nor intimidated, and that's pretty bad as Azula was one of my top favorite characters from the original. The costume is fine, the wig feels cheap, her dialogue is horrendous, the actress can't convince me. Azula isn't smart or cunning, sharp, or collected, and her "working with Zhao" just made her look dumb when the entire plan flopped. She is a whiny, petulant little girl stamping her feet in every other scene. It's not for me. Also, the way her relationship with Ozai is depicted here makes Ozai look like a loser, too. It's like they want us to not be afraid of either of them.

As for Mai and Ty Lee. Ty Lee is fine. She looks okay, the actress is fine for how little we see her. On Mai, the wig is just so bad I don't get what happened. It's like they're struggling on the line of being realistic with the styling, or leaning completely in cartoon-character-came-to-life. I don't think the actress for Mai here was a good choice.

Dialogue: the worst part of this show. When they're not completely quoting word for word from the original, it's.. just bad. Everything is always exposition and thats not good. The few moments that aren't are just... idk.

CGI: not bad. I was expecting worse. Fire, earth, and air all look great. Water feels a little slow, mostly when its just water and not ice but that can be improved I assume. Koh was pretty cool, as was Wan Shi Tong.

Settings: Beautiful!! Omashu looked great. South and North water tribes looked great. Ozai's throne room looked incredible and I was annoyed every time we see it, he is just standing around and not sitting on his throne. It just reminded me how amazing the buildup to Ozai and Azula's reveals were in og season 1.

Costume: Its either a hit or a miss. There's strangley not much in between. Aang, Katara, Sokka, Zuko, Iroh, June, Ozai, Jet, Suki, the Kyoshi warriors, all look pretty great. Then you have characters like Azula, Mai, or Yue, who just look like half decent cosplayers. It kind of takes you out of the moment when it looks like the person is a cartoon character, rather than just a normal person. For example, compare how Katara looks compared to Azula.

Music: of course it was fantastic. A lot of it (I think most) was from the original show, which has one of the greatest soundtracks an animated show has ever had imo.

Final thoughts: Ultimately, it was kind of what I was expecting. You can't condense 20+ episodes worth of development into 8 and expect it all to flow perfectly. However, there are also a lot of changes that really don't make sense to me. I am very curious to know how on earth they will do seasons 2 and 3, as season 1 is the slowest in pace compared to the next two seasons. The original's finale was split into four episodes! Unless they add more episodes for next season, it's going to be a big jumbled mess of lore being shoved into our faces. I am also concerned about Toph. The Gaang so far has been stripped of their fun/unique personality traits. Is Toph going to be the same?

[always-rolling-my-eyes]

I don’t know if someone’s already replied because I just saw it now but this is why people are attacking Joe:

Joe and Sophie got together in 2016, when she was 20 and he was 27. After a year of dating, they got engaged. Then, in 2019 Sophie had a big year because both the last season of Game Of Thrones and Dark Phoenix were coming out. That also came with a lot of hate, because both of those were bad but also because Daenerys stans decided to hate on Sophie because they disliked Sansa. They also created fake drama between Emília and Sophie, so she got a lot of hate. Sophie also got a lot of hate from Priyanka stans who kept comparing them.

Through all of this, Sophie mentioned having mental health issues and deleted her twitter account. She also mentioned deleting the Instagram app from her phone.

In 2019, they got married and in early 2020 there were rumors of her being pregnant. The pandemic happened and they had a child. In 2021, she did The Staircase, and then she took another break to have baby number 2. She’s now back to work on a TV show called Joan.

If I remember correctly Joe has been working and touring through a lot of this. So it seems like she had a hard time with her new found fame (she had been famous for years but she became a lot more well known in 2019) and decided to take a step back and start a family with him.

I think it’s worth mentioning that she has said that her family and friends are all in the UK and she was trying to convince Joe to move back there. This year she has been spending a lot of time in the UK, even before she started filming, so I think it’s possible she really wants to move back there.

It all seems a bit tragic to me. She has struggled with depression and an ED throughout her whole life because of GOT, and she’s spent all her 20s dating a man almost 10 years older than her, taking a step back to have his children while he kept working, living far away from her family and friends, etc. and now, when she goes back to the UK and gets back to work, his team (it had to come from there) acts like she abandoned her children and like Joe deserves a gold medal for being a father.

I’m not saying their relationship was toxic, but I do think it maybe wasn’t the healthiest for her. She’s also talked about Joe helping her with her mental health struggles, but maybe that led to some dependency that wasn’t great. Specially since he apparently broke up with her right before they got married because of her mental health. I had misunderstood that interview and I thought she was saying they had broken up for 24 hours right at the beginning of their relationship, but apparently it was right before the wedding in Las Vegas.

All in all, I think Joe shouldn’t have gotten with someone as young as her. I usually don’t mind age differences when both people are in their 20s, but I do think she was probably too young. I think he tried to help with her mental health but I don’t think it was the healthiest. I think she has given up more for him than he has for her. It’s sad that they tried to make her look bad with the divorce news.

I also fully believe the news, but I also believe they could work it out and then fans will pretend it was all fake. But I do believe they’re on the brink of divorce but still willing to work it out if possible. That’s why neither were wearing their rings but now Joe is wearing it again. I think they’re still trying to make it work but they’re also speaking to lawyers.

If they do get a divorce custody will probably get messy, since she’ll probably want to take the kids to the UK and he won’t

Sorry for all of that! I don’t know if it makes any sense!

Wow, I had no idea all of that went on between them and I actually also had no idea of their age difference, that’s a little 😬 especially when combined with her mental health issues. Definitely seems like there was an imbalance of power there (if true, just my opinion)

But it looks like Joe just filed for divorce and I agree with you, I think custody will get messy because every article / report / detail we have seen so far about this break up seems to be coming from his camp and trying to make him look good (agree with you on that completely, as if watching your own kids makes you father of the year 🙄) so he is already on the offense. I just hope their kids don’t suffer as a result of all this but unfortunately, we see how this stuff goes

Thanks for all the info, anon 💗

[sunlightnmoonshine]

As a writing choice it just seems stupid that they added in things from season 2 without focusing on the important parts of season 1.

I guess the gang won't end up chased by a knowledge loving creepy owl that detested his knowledge being used for war, again a core part of the story. Getting to see the scary owl (Wang shi tong) in the live action felt so unnecessary that if they actually have him show up in the library (if they even visit a library - I have a feeling they won't) I won't feel even mildly the same kind of terror I felt when I saw him in the cartoon. The live action doesn't even emphasise his love for knowledge which was a core part of his character in the original instead they make a joke about how only aang can understand him :)

I'm assuming we will still be returning to Omashu but I guess no cave of the lovers then, no special moment between aang and katara, no sokka losing his mind over the lack of common sense, no extensive probably on drugs singing, no foreshadowing to the role of the badgermoles (that basically set up toph) and how the music was what calmed them down because they listen first (the essence of book two) instead hey katara and sokka sibling moment, the badgermoles can sense your love yay the audience needed to know you guys loved each other woohoo, wow ya'll got to aang just in time to save him from crushing bumi, wow, standing ovation, incredible writing.

I was going to write a long paragraph about how they are revealing too much about zuko too soon which significantly takes away from his season 2 story line but just no. Zuko was supposed to be the villain of season 1, it's what made his redemption arc so poignant. The audience through season 2 with just one episode on his past were in tears, the live action does not need to shove how sad and depressing his story is down anyone's throat. His story was appreciated because it made you think.

The more I think about this live action, the more angry I get because pls don't call it a good adaptation, it's not. It's a fine and enjoyable (arguable) story if you can't remember the nuance of the cartoon but that's it.

[charioteer]

some out of order thoughts about s3 of Young Royals so far:

Everybody in this show needs a THINK chart lesson and therapy!

totally checks out that Marcus would comment on their relationship to journalists.....

Stella and Rosh would've been cute but also I think Rosh would've found her insufferable. I was worried that it was gonna turn into a whole thing where Fredrika would find out Stella was into her and like call her disgusting or something and /truly/ I could not handle that.

Not that I want August to be next in line but Wille trying to balance being prince and being with Simon is making him AND me crazy.

Speaking of August..... I actually feel better about him this season. his ed storyline is quite interesting and it makes sense for his character. I was truly gobsmacked when Simon very frankly called him out and then nobody said anything. He has such sad eyes and hates himself so much already it makes it hard to wanna dogpile on him lol

The b plot about the racism and ostracism Felice faces should've happened in season 2 to be fleshed out more. I understand that its a part of the issues coming out about the initiations but its unfortunate that she won't get more screen time for it.

So many times in this season you are reminded that you are watching a show about rich teenagers at an elite boarding school and so they're going to be socially unconscious and tone-deaf to everyone besides their own, which is annoying but it is just a show.

Vincent being so butthurt about the restrictions was so unserious he was so annoying.

Wille was getting on my nerves a bit. His actions are in line with his character but its frustrating when things would be like 90% better if he like chilled for a sec. Its obviously more complicated than that cos he hasn't had even a moment to process anything that's happened in this show ever.

Simon being so sad while deleting his Instagram was kinda funny cos like he could've archived everything or made his profile private, blocked ppl. e.t.c but I get it, he enjoyed sharing his music and that's how he deals with things, so that outlet being cut off is hard.

I swear half of the runtime is people wordlessly staring at each other.

Ideally Wille and Simon have a happy ending, and it would make more sense for that to happen over another season but since this is the last I don't necessarily see things being wrapped up in a satisfying way. like yeah is it not really realistic for everything to be 100% rainbows and sunshine but for the sake of my happiness I need a hopeful resolution. Whether that's Wille realizing he could never emotionally handle the crown and choosing to prioritize his relationship with Simon, or choosing the crown and letting Simon go. He could also end up with neither! if he decided to dedicate himself to the crown he would sink further into depression and anger over not being able to be with Simon and if he chose to be with Simon he would still have the same baggage and I think some resentment. It would be slay if he could have both the crown and Simon but I think what the story has been telling us so far is that that is not possible. OR maybe that it is possible, with the power of love, which could result in a copout happy ending or a more realistic but hopeful ending!