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tightjeansjavi · 10 months

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Endings Create New Beginnings

Burning in a Hopeless Dream | The Prologue: Part 2 (final part)

(Joel Miller x f!reader)

A/N: I genuinely feel like this might be the most complicated piece I have written in the sense that I went out of my comfort zone a little bit. Rather focusing on dialogue, I used a lot of descriptions of what the reader is going through, what she is mourning and what Joel is feeling as she goes through this. To be completely honest with you? This is beautiful. It’s tragic in the sense that these two people have no idea just how meaningful they will soon be to one another. I feel like I have done them a justice by writing their true beginning. There are dark themes throughout this piece so please tread carefully. Please read part 1 before this piece and while this is Joel and Gwen’s story, I have written it as a readers perspective. There are no physical descriptions of the reader.

Thank you for reading ♡

~word count: 5.1k~

Summary: after losing your lover, and friends of 5 years, you find yourself running straight into Joel Miller, and his partner, Tess Servopoulos. You don't know it then, but your life is about to drastically change forever.

Warnings: dark themes, depression, mourning, suicidal thoughts, guilt of one’s death, feelings of being trapped, isolation, dark thoughts in both the reader and Joel’s mind, hinting at soulmates without directly stating it, stubbornness, banter, empathy, jealously, secret pining, feelings of denial, mistrust, anxiety, brief depiction of a knife wound, stitches, alcohol consumption, confusing thoughts, fear of the unknown, no use of y/n, no physical descriptions of the reader, (+18) minors dni!

Songs Used:

“I Wonder” by Shawn Mendes

“The Alcott” by The National and Taylor Swift

“Lift Me Up” by Rihanna

“The View Between Villages” by Noah Kahan

“Everything Has Changed” by Taylor Swift and Ed Sheeran

“My Cell” by the Lumineers

“Second Chances” by Gregory Alan Isakov

“Dear Patience” by Niall Horan

“After the Storm” by Mumford & Sons

You quickly came to the realization that Joel and Tess’s ‘empathy’ only stretched so far. You weren’t even sure if empathy was the right word to use, especially when it came to Tess. She had no issues showing her glaringly obvious distaste towards you. You really couldn’t blame her, simply for the fact that only a mere few hours ago, you had thrown your knife at Joel’s face. If you were in her shoes, you would have felt the same way that she did.

Joel and Tess didn’t take you to the QZ right away. It created a rather awkward, and tense situation given the circumstances. Your mind played tricks on you, and made you believe that maybe the pair had changed their mind. Maybe they were going to kill you after all. Joel could smell the stench of your fear from a mile away as he slowed his heavy footsteps down.

“Easy.” He spoke softly to you. “We have to wait for nightfall before we can sneak you in. There’s a set curfew that starts at 6pm, till 6a.m. Tess and I are always breakin’ the rules, and this ain’t our first rodeo. FEDRA only patrols specific blocks at a time. Our apartment isn’t far from the main entrance. So, once it’s late enough, we’ll sneak you in through the tunnel system. You won’t have to worry about runnin’ into any QZ residents either. If we do happen to be caught by FEDRA, you run, and you don’t don’t look back. Do I make myself clear?” His back was resting along a nearby tree, arms crossed over his chest. His tone may have been soft, but you averted making eye contact with him regardless.

“How long have you and Tess lived in the QZ?” you scratched the outside of your arm absentmindedly. The rain had since long passed, but your clothes were entirely soaked through. Joel could see your body trembling, shivering from where he was leaned up against the tree.

“A while. I’ll be honest, ain’t no one really keeps track of how many days, months, years have gone by. They’ve all blended together for me at this point.” He gave a small shrug of his shoulders before he gently pushed himself off the tree, taking a few steps towards you. “Hey, are you cold? Would you like my jacket?”

You took a hesitant step back when he approached you and Tess scoffed at your inability to recognize that Joel wasn’t going to kill you. He wasn’t going to harm you. She turned her nose up at the fact that you were still acting like a frightened cornered animal.

“No thank you. I’m fine. Please..don’t come any closer to me.” You whispered.

Joel let out a visible sigh as he shrugged his thick layered jacket off of his body. “You’re gonna catch a nasty fuckin’ cold shiverin’ like that. Take the jacket.” He firmly demanded as he held the coat in his outstretched hand towards you. “I won’t come any close to you, but take the damn jacket.”

You knew he was right and despite wanting to show a hint of stubbornness, and to prove that your brain hadn’t entirely been fried by trauma, you reached for his coat, grasping the material between your fingers. You briefly made eye contact with him as you slipped your arms through the sleeves. The material was warm, warmer than you had expected. The outside layer of fabric had a residual scent of whiskey, pine, and woodsmoke. A wave of nostalgia washed over you, and Joel could see the emotions swirling through your pupils, as if they were trying to tell him a story; mapped out delicately in your irises.

“Thank you.” Your tone was barely above a whisper.

“Don’t mention it.” He returned to his prior position against the evergreen, arms crossed, stern gaze falling on you.

When the sun began to set, and the sky grew into an endless black pit, with only the pale moonlight to guide you, Joel and Tess guided you to their secret entrance into the QZ. A series of underground tunnels that ran under the QZ. Smuggling routes that Joel and Tess knew by heart.

The tunnels had you feeling claustrophobic in some moments. With only Joel’s flashlight as a light source, it was easy for your heart to start racing in your ribcage. Everytime you could hear the sound of Fedra trucks driving above ground, you squeezed your eyes shut tight. You had heard hushed whispers of what the quarantine zones were really like and more than ever now, you were missing your close knit camp with your once living friends.

Tess was the first to climb out of the hole in the ground, surveying the area while Joel offered you his hand and carefully hoisted you up. The streets were quiet sans the distant shouts of FEDRA soldiers. Joel was already nudging you up the street, gun drawn at his side. You were overwhelmed with the newfound stench of the quarantine zone. A mixture of filth, soot, and ash burned your nostrils and watered your eyes. The smell of rotting flesh nearly had you gagging, feeling lightheaded. Had they lied to you? Why did they bring you here? Was the quarantine zone just disguised as a raiders commune? Joel promised he wouldn’t hurt you, he promised–

“Hey, hey. Easy now darlin.’ You’re safe. That smell? It’s..not what you think it means.” He whispered under his breath as he gently grasped your arm. “When FEDRA brings in potential new residents, they’re put through a series of screenings and tests. If you’re found to be infected..they administer a shot that puts ya to sleep. Pretty much is like euthanizing a dog, or a cat. After they put you to sleep, your body is burned in a huge pit. It’s one of the more grueling jobs in the QZ, but it pays well with ration cards.”

Tess was already a few lengths ahead of you and Joel as she impatiently waited for the two of you. “Uh, any day now would be really fuckin’ nice.” She harshly whispered through the dead of night.

“C’mon. Our apartment is just a couple blocks east. We gotta move fast though, alright?”

All you could do was nod as Joel nudged you in front of him to keep moving forward. He couldn’t see your face, but he just had a feeling that his jacket was bringing you some form of comfort similar to the way you felt earlier. You were indeed using his jacket, and the nostalgic smell it gave off to pacify your apprehension. Whether or not Joel saw you turn your face into the collar, was the least concern on your mind.

Whiskey, pine, woodsmoke. Whiskey, pine, woodsmoke. Whiskey, pine, woodsmoke.

Home. Home. Home.

Joel and Tess’s apartment was not what you were expecting it to look like. There was an odd sense of comfort that the small living area particularly gave off. Perhaps it was the dense multi-colored quilt that rested along the weathered couch. The quilt itself looked well loved, and you imagined being wrapped in it must have felt as close as a warm hug did. She gave the best fucking hugs. She’s dead now. You left her for dead. Her body is rotting away in the earth, and the insects have made their home in her flesh and here you fucking stand. You hadn’t even heard Tess shuffling around in the tiny kitchen behind you. You hadn’t detected the sound of a liquor bottle being popped open. Nor the splash of amber into a chipped crystal glass. All you could hear were her distant screams, and your ears painfully ringing in your skull.

“..Darlin?’” There was a certain edge to Joel’s voice. A low rasp that was ridden with exhaustion, and his own terrors. He wanted to tread carefully when approaching you. He wasn’t sure why he gave a damn in the first place. Why did his last shred of humanity fall upon your trembling shoulders? He could see your lower lip wobble in the faint reflection of the grime covered windows. He knew your friends were dead. Raiders had murdered them and you ran. There was more to the story. There were always more pages left unturned. Whatever words were written on your parchment, he imagined they were painful. The kind of pain that had you clutching your fist to your chest, clawing at the skin to rip your heart from its strings. The kind of pain that wrecked silent sobs through your body. Where tears were un-shed because your body had spent them all. The kind of pain that dried your soul to dust, ash between your trembling fingers. The kind of pain that would have your arms squeezing your broken body so tightly, you couldn’t breathe. Rocking yourself as a mother would rock a crying child except, no one was there to hold you. No lullabies were to be sung, no soft touches were to be felt. No one was there to tell you that the world wasn’t always this cruel. That the sun would always shine another day, warm your skin, feed your soul. That you wouldn’t feel trapped, clawing desperately to reach the surface as the current drags you further and further into darkness. Waves crashing, tumbling, jostling what is left of your withered being until you give up. Phantom shadows, enveloping you in a never ending chill. So cold. So alone. So broken. So beaten.

Joel knew the inner turmoil that you were facing as if it was the back of his hand. It was in a sense. He too knew of indescribable pain not that long ago. When his own soul was turned to dust between his fingers. When her body went cold in his arms as he clutched her to his chest. When he felt like breathing was the hardest thing to do. When his own tears were spent, deep salty caverns laid their claim on his cheekbones that used to ache from joyous laughter and smiling too hard. He knew of the pain you presently endured all too well.

His hand gently clasped over your shoulder, squeezing the worn fabric that encased your skin in warmth. “C’mon. I’ll uh–I'll show you to your room, okay?”

You shuddered from his touch, feeling your senses being knocked back into you like a wrecking ball turning concrete to rubble. You pulled away from his touch, caving in on yourself.

You felt his hand retract and fall to his side. He let out a deep sigh as he made brief eye contact with his partner that wasted no time on giving him the “I told you so” look before she downed her glass of whiskey in one harsh gulp, slamming the glass down on the counter with a crashing thud.

The sudden sound sent your body jolting as you followed Joel’s heavy footsteps down the narrow hallway. He pushed the door at the end of the hall open, standing off to the side. “It ain’t much, but you got a bed to sleep on and a decent blanket to keep warm. I’ll have to convince Tess to lend you some of her clothes. I imagine you ain’t got much in that bag of yours. Anyway, you should get some rest. You’re safe now.” His arms were crossed over his chest as he leaned against the peeling wallpaper.

“Thank you.” Was all you could muster out as you stepped into your new living space. Joel was right. It wasn't much, but it was more than you had in years.

“You’re welcome.” He softly pulled the door shut to give you the privacy that you didn’t realize you were desperately seeking. You listened to the heavy creaks of the floorboards beneath his boots disappear. You stood there for what felt like hours before you slowly sunk down onto the old mattress. You didn’t move. You didn’t cry. You didn’t sleep. You sat there all night long staring into the void as your mind ran excruciating circles. Head rocking like a pendulum with no end in sight. Eyes glazed, lifeless, dull, ghostly. As if all the wondrous color had been sucked from your soul. The world through your eyes now was dark, dismal, tenebrous. A swirling black pit oozing with sorrow. Dripping in overflowing guilt. Like toxic sludge bubbling and bursting through the cracked crevices in the fragments of your vanquished heart.

It's all my fault.

I did this.

I caused this.

She’s dead.

They’re dead.

Here I am, surrounded by darkness in an undeserved warm bed.

Wishing I was dead too.

Two broken heartstrings, bleeding the sad sad blues. Separated by thin walls, peeling wallpaper, creaky floorboards. Two shattered souls; unbeknownst on how devoted they would soon grow for one another. Silent sobs, nightmares, darkness consumed. Struggled breaths, dealt the same cards; fortunes foretold, they have met before.

You mourned the loss of your lover and friends for what felt like endless years. In reality, it was two weeks of you isolating yourself in your room. Two weeks of numbing yourself to the pain where all that was left was the outer shell of who you used to be. Where was she now? You had yourself convinced that part of your soul died along with the ones that you loved. Maybe it had, and maybe that part of you was never going to reach the surface again.

You soon learned that Joel Miller was a persistent man. He respected your privacy, but that didn’t mean that he didn’t go out of his way to make sure that you hadn’t offed yourself in those two long weeks. He would leave food outside your door in hopes that you wouldn’t let yourself wither away entirely. Each morning, he’d find the wrapped jerky, and long since stale biscuits untouched.

On the nights where Joel was unable to relax into sleep, he’d quietly, and carefully untangle his limbs from Tess’s before leaving their shared room. He’d find himself seated against your door, back aching at the uncomfortable angle he was in. For whatever reason he was feeling desperate to know anything, and everything he could about you. Your name, where you were from, did the sorrows and grief of your past haunt your dreamless nights just as his did?

“Can you just fuckin’ let me know you’re alive behind this door? ‘Cus I’m sitting here with an achy back for whatever goddamn reason so the least you can do is let me know you’re alive. Would greatly appreciate it.”

He was met with no answer from the other side of the door.

“Can you tell me your name, darlin?’” You heard his whisper through the thin door that separated him from you. Maybe he needed to take a softer approach, despite the fact that Joel Miller was anything but soft.

“I can’t tell you my name.” You spoke soullessly through the impending darkness that surrounded you.

So you weren’t dead behind the door, thank god. He thought to himself.

“Why can’t you tell me your name?” He pressed you further.

A pregnant pause, seconds ticking by as he awaited your answer. The floorboards creaked beneath your feet as you slowly rose from the crumpled sheets, and padded quietly to the door. You sunk down, back against the thin wood right where he was resting on the other side.

“Because everything that’s mine is a landmine Joel. Every single fucking person that knows my name is dead. Every. Single. One. They’re all dead. You’re better off not knowing my name or who I am, or where I came from. Knowing someone’s name is personal. It becomes a personal interaction and I don’t want that to happen. I don’t want anything to do with that.” You pulled your knees up to your chest, resting your chin against them with a heavy sigh.

“Now listen, I ain’t into all that superstitious crap. So you’re tellin’ me that you think everyone who knows your name is like fuckin’ doomed or somethin?’ That’s the most ridiculous thing I have ever fuckin’ heard darlin.’” I ain’t gonna die if you tell me your name.” He fought the urge to scoff but you could feel his demeanor through the door.

“Well, fine. What about you? What’s your story?..Joel…?” You paused, realizing you only knew his first name.

“Miller. Last name is Miller, and wouldn’t ya like to know, darlin.’” He was smirking to himself as he crossed his arms over his chest taking in a deep inhale before exhaling.

“Well, yeah. That’s why I asked.”

“Yeah? Well, I’m not tellin’ you anythin’ ‘bout myself till you tell me your name.” He stated as a-matter-of-factly.

“Oh? Well, guess that just means you’re gonna be sitting there for an awful long fucking time, Joel Miller from Texas.”

“How the hell did you know I was from Texas? Is my accent really that thick?” His eyes were open now as he gently rested the back of his head against the door.

“Yeah. It’s a pretty obvious southern accent. Hard to miss it.”

“Fair enough. How about this, can you give me the first letter of your name?” He was still on the topic of your name? For fuck sakes, did this man ever give up?

“No.” Was your immediate response.

“C’mon. Just the first letter, and then I promise I won’t ask ya again. Deal?”

You rubbed your fingers against your temples taking a deep breath when you realized that Joel was absolutely persistent in the most insufferable way possible. You mumbled out the first letter of your name begrudgingly.

“Was that so hard to tell me?”

“Yeah, it was. Now can you please fucking drop it? I don’t want to tell you my name, and I’d really would just appreciate the fact if you would just fucking accept that, alright? Thanks.”

Joel could sense your frustration through the door as his nails picked at the skin around his cuticles till they would tear and bleed. The light sting of his skin being split open was one that was familiar and oddly soothing. “Alright, darlin.’ I won’t pry any further. You have my word.”

A few minutes of silence had passed between the two of you. The floorboards creaked beneath his weight as he turned his body, resting his cheek along the splintered wood with a heavy sigh. It was frustrating to him that he couldn’t quite figure out why he was so immediately drawn to you. That he was causing his back to ache even more and for what? Just so he knew that you were alive? Why the hell did he care so much?

This became a routine for the two of you on the nights that sleep would not come. Sometimes you’d sit in complete silence and other times Joel would press for you to talk about anything. He wanted to get to know you, in whatever way you would allow him too. It was a challenging task and you proved to be tougher than he thought.

You never wanted to admit it, but Joel Miller wasn’t the most awful company to have in the odd hours of the morning.

It took just about a month for you to find your footing. Your body physically could not handle mourning what was no longer physically there in your grasp. Your brain was constantly in survival mode. Even now when you clearly were safer than you had ever been before, your brain hardly let you rest. Joel was not lying when he said that the most grueling jobs in the QZ paid handsomely in ration cards. You took every shitty job you could get your hands on. It was a good distraction from the constant thoughts racing through your mind. It was tricky, but somehow you had avoided working any jobs with your new “roommates.”

Despite your efforts to remain neutral with Tess, you still managed to evoke the woman in showing a deep distaste for you. She was far more intimidating than Joel was. It was obvious who was the brains of their operation, but you were also aware that Tess packed a lethal bite. It was only a short time ago that she threatened to gouge your eyes from your skull.

Some weeks you wouldn’t see Joel or Tess for days at a time. Not that it really bothered you because having the apartment to yourself had its perks. The biggest one being you didn’t feel like you had daggers trained on the back of your head. The downfall was that you were alone with your thoughts..and they weren’t going away.

“You enjoyin’ those late night chats with our new house guest?” Tess bitterly asked as Joel was patching up her arm alongside a crumbling alley outside the QZ. They had just traded a couple guns for some pills when 2 outsiders ambushed. Joel of course made both thugs regret that they had ever been born, but Tess had a fairly large gash along her forearm from a switchblade. Luckily for her it wasn’t muscle deep, but she’d still need stitches.

“What’re talkin’ about Tess?” Joel met her burning gaze as he dabbed away the blood. There was a stray sweaty curl blurring his vision and he paused his movements when she gently brushed it away.

“You don’t know what I’m talkin’ about? Bullshit, Joel. The walls are paper fuckin’ thin. Look, don’t you think she’s more than capable of bein’ off on her own? I agreed that we not kill her, but for fuck sakes. I don’t like the fact that she’s livin’ with us.” Tess didn’t want to admit outloud, but the main reason for her distaste towards you was because she viewed you as a threat. To what exactly? Well, it wouldn’t take a rocket science to figure out that Tess Servopolous was finding herself growing jealous anytime Joel diverted his attention from her, onto you. She knew it was silly, and a little embarrassing at the core, but Joel was hers. She was his, and she’d be damned if anyone got between that.

“Do’ya hear yourself right now? Look, you wanna be mad at me because I just wanted to make sure she didn’t off herself during those two weeks? Fine. Go ahead and be upset with me. I know it ain’t like me to take in strays and bring ‘em home. You and I both know that if we left her in those woods, she would have died. Hell, if Tommy were here? He probably would have killed her as soon as she threw her knife at my face. Do ya remember when he and I found you? Alone, and afraid? It wasn’t that fuckin’ long ago that you were a shell of yourself too, Tess. Tommy and I took ya in. We could have killed you, we could have left you for dead but we didn’t. Not long after you told me what happened to your husband and son. You told me about your loss, and the sacrifices you made to stay alive. I get it, you don’t like her for your own reasons, but you ain’t all that different from each other.” He concluded as he finished stitching up her wound, wrapping it firmly in some cloth before he grasped her hand and helped her up from the rocky ground.

“Fine. All i’m gonna say is that she’s gotta start pullin’ her own weight ‘round here too. You’re the one who said she might be useful to us. So, lets get some good use out of her. Today was a perfect example as to why this operation ran much smoother with three people.”

“Don’t worry. She’ll be goin’ on runs with us soon enough.” Joel zipped up his backpack and slung it over his shoulder along with his rifle. “Let's go home.”

It was springtime now. The air was warmer, there were birds outside the window that could be heard. The sun shone brighter. Despite all of this, you still felt trapped. Trapped in this apartment, trapped in your thoughts, trapped in a droning routine that was draining you day by day. You were desperate to get out. To let your lungs breathe the fresh forest air once more. Your wish was manifesting faster than you thought it would. Joel and Tess were meeting up with their two unlikely friends, Bill and Frank. Tess was against the idea at first, but you learned that Joel could be incredibly convincing when he wanted to be. That’s how you ended up outside the QZ walls after months. Joel would never say it outloud but he wanted to give you a taste of normalcy after everything you had been through. He wasn’t expecting you to thank him or anything. You owed him your life, this was true. However, he’d never ask you to repay him. He only hoped that perhaps you and him could become friends. If friends was even the right word for the journey you and him would find yourselves enduring together.

Frank adored you the moment he laid eyes on you. You believed that people had many different soulmates in their lifetime. Frank had to be your platonic soulmate in every sense. The older man was like a breath of fresh air in your lungs. His hugs reminded you of home, and his eyes were welcoming and kind. He doted you as his “little bird” when you explained why you couldn’t tell him your name. Soon enough you were being whisked into his world of art, music, books, and the simple pleasures in life that you weren’t sure if you’d ever have the privilege of experiencing again.

He showed childlike excitement when you gushed over his artistic abilities. He had all different sizes of canvases in his art room. Many of which were paintings of his polar opposite lover. He also loved to paint nature, flowers, and his favorite plants. The colors were warm, vibrant, and full of life.

“One day I'll paint a portrait of you in the wildflowers out back, how does that sound to you little bird?” His warm arm was wrapped loosely around your shoulder, a warm smile gracing his gentle features.

You were almost certain that you had met Frank in a past life. You felt as if you had known this man forever, and now you were catching up over coffee, and spilling secrets of your shared pasts. You adored him just as much as he adored you. “Wait, there’s wildflowers out back? A whole field of them?” You looked up at the older man with a bright full of life smile. You couldn’t remember the last time you had smiled this hard.

“Yes! An entire field of them. They’re all in full bloom. Would you like me to show you?” He offered you his elbow like the true gentleman he was.

You nodded enthusiastically, grasping his elbow gently as he led you out into the backyard. Your eyes watered when you gazed upon an entire field of different species of wildflowers that sprouted up between the tall thick wild grasses. Asters were your favorite, as Frank came to learn. They were all beautiful of course. Butterflies danced around your head like a fluttering halo. Their delicate wings were different hues of purple as you carefully plucked the flowers into a homemade bouquet.

Joel had been watching from afar. His arms were crossed over his chest, broad muscles bulging through the worn fabric of his flannel. He was half paying attention to the conversation Tess and Bill were having as he was too distracted by you. There was something so surreal to him, seeing you relaxed, and in your element. Could flowers truly bring one person that much pure joy? What was so special about these particular flowers? Did they remind you of home? Were they your favorite? Or did you simply just think they were pretty? Joel wondered as his jaw clenched tightly. Why were you able to find happiness in the littlest of things, and yet he couldn’t. He wondered what it would be like to see the world through your eyes at that moment. A world full of color and life. A world that wasn’t black and white.

Joel Miller wondered, and it terrified him.

He wondered if he was always being real. He wondered if he always spoke his truth, or does he filter how he feels? He wonders why he is so afraid of saying something wrong, when he never claimed to be a saint. He wondered why on the loneliest nights when he would cry into his hands, it conditioned him to feel like he was less than a man.

He wondered—

And then you met his gaze. Eyes sparkling under the warm rays of the sun. A soft smile gracing your lips. A smile different from the one you portrayed around Frank. No, this was a smile that would make any man weak in the knees. A smile that would send a man to his early grave if he never got the privilege to see it again. A smile that would now rot Joel Miller's brain to mush for the rest of the day. A smile that he felt like only he was supposed to see. A smile that had him wonder if one day you’d be by his side and promise him that the world would end up alright.

Your smile hit him like a freight train colliding with his body over, and over again.

It was true, Joel could not stop thinking of the way you smiled at him earlier in the day. He thought about it at the dinner table where he was sitting across from you. He thought about it when he found you and Frank seated side by side at the piano, giggling like two drunk fools after a few too many glasses of wine. Heads leaning against one another like old friends.

He thought about it during the odd hours of the night while Tess was asleep at his side. He stared up at the ceiling, picturing what it would possibly be like to be loved by you. Your smile was etched into his brain like a fucking tattoo. He blinked, and it wouldn’t go away. His thoughts were flooded with you.

darlin’, if my memories of you were ever stolen from my mind, my only hope is that you’d forever haunt my dreams, as someone I used to know; who is now a phantom of my past unknown.

Fin

Tag List: @chaotic-mystery @peterhollandkait @yuly @soft-cryptids @dinsdjrn @myrealmofchaos @itskenziebb @lovers-liability @korynnekorynne @ems-alexandra @kirsteng42 @casssiopeia @novemberrain-writes @goodwithcheese @loquaciousferret @sarahhxx03 @777-wonders @bonglorddaryl @mirasantidotes @luvrking @finnsbubblegum @last-girl @pedrostories @yazsos @pedgeitopascal @wildemaven @sourccream @walkingintheheartbreaksatellite @amanitacowboy @morning-star-joy

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violetsandfluff · 10 months

Text

Welcome to the Concept Café!

If you’re a writer or reader looking for inspiration, look no further.

Rules: Order a fic from the writer who reblogged this. Include who you want the fic to be written about and any of the following elements.

Dishes ~ Style

🥣 Bowl • Fluff

🍽️ Plate • Angst

🥡 Takeout • Smut (I’m not writing smut anymore but other writers might!)

Meals ~ Relationship Status

🥗 Salad • Married

🥪 Sandwich • Engaged

🌭 Hotdog • Dating

🍕Pizza • Just friends

🫕 Soup • Strangers

Drinks ~ Settings & Scenarios

🫙 Water • Boring afternoons together

🥛 Milk • Meeting their parents

☕️ Coffee • Morning kisses

🍵 Tea • Sick day

🧋Boba tea • Concert/music festival

🧃 Juice box • Coming out

🥤 Pop • Long-distance

🍸 Martini • Road trip/vacation

🥂 Champagne • Date night/anniversary

Snacks ~ Song Lyric Prompts

🍓 Strawberries • “Look at the stars // look how they shine for you // and everything you do” (Yellow, Coldplay)

🍌 Banana • “And I know that we can be so amazing // And baby your love is gonna change me // And now I can se every possibility” (Just Haven’t Met You Yet, Michael Buble)

🍇 Grapes • (All I got is one shot, one try // one go around in this beautiful life…) (Keep Me In The Moment, Jeremy Camp)

🍅 Tomatoes • “Cuz if I want you, and I want you, babe // Ain’t going backwards, won’t ask for space…” (Close, Nick Jonas)

🍊 Orange • “In the dark we’re barely holding on // then you rest your head upon my chest // and you feel like there ain’t nothing left…” (Flicker, Niall Horan)

🥕 Carrots • “If we ever broke up I’d call your dad // tell him all the shittiest of things you said…” (If We Ever Broke Up, Mae Stephens)

🫐 Blueberries • “Can I have your daughter for the rest of my life // say yes, say yes…” (Rude, Magic!)

🍉 Watermelon • “You don’t have to say you love me // you don’t have to say nothing…” (Adore You, Harry Styles)

🍐 Pear • “That seatbelt’s on your chest, hearing your heart, holding you down…” (Coffee, Tori Kelly)

🫑 Bell pepper • “

🫛 Pea pods • “Is it too late now to tell you that everything means nothing if I can’t have you…” (If I Can’t Have You, Shawn Mendes)

🫘 Beans • “If this is what it's like falling in love // then I don't ever wanna grow up…” (Kid in Love, Shawn Mendes)

🥜 Peanuts • “I’ll buy you anything // I’ll buy you any ring…” (Baby, Justin Bieber)

🍚 Rice • “But I knew you // trying to change the ending…” (Cardigan,Taylor Swift)

🧀 Cheese • “Here’s my number // so call me maybe…” (Call Me Maybe, Carly Rae Jepsen)

🍟 Fries • “Stop the clocks, it’s amazing // you should see the way the light dances off your head…” (Afterglow, Ed Sheeran)

🍳 Egg • “I know times are getting hard // but just believe me, girl // someday I’ll pay the bills with this guitar // we’ll have it good…” (Hey There Delilah // The Plain White T’s)

🥓 Bacon • Oh, I could have that voice playing on repeat for a week // and in this packed out room swear she was singing to me…” (Galway Girl, Ed Sheeran)

🍤 Shrimp • “There’s things I wanna say to you // but I’ll just let you live…” (Cinnamon Girl, Lana Del Rey)

🍣 Sushi • “I don’t want you to get lost // I don’t want you to go broke…” (Music For A Sushi Restaurant, Harry Styles)

🍥 Narutomaki • “Take me into your loving arms // kiss me under the light of a thousand stars…” (Thinking Out Loud, Ed Sheeran)

🥐 Croissant • “Touch my neck and I’ll touch yours // You in those little high-waisted shorts…” (Sweater Weather, The Neighborhood)

🥨 Pretzel • “When I first saw you from across the room // I could tell that you were curious…” (Perfect, One Direction)

🥯 Bagel • “Call me, baby, if you need a friend // I just wanna give you love…” (One Call Away, Charlie Puth)

🍬 Candy • “And when you smile // the whole world stops and stares for a while…” (Just The Way You Are, Bruno Mars)

🍭 Lollipop • “I met you in the dark // you lit me up…” (Say You Won’t Let Go, James Arthur)

🍫 Chocolate • “Strawberry ice cream // one spoon for two…” (Deja Vu, Olivia Rodrigo)

Sweets ~ Extra elements

🍰 Cake • Playful flirting

🍩 Donut • Kissing envelopes/love letters

🥧 Pie • Baking together

🍮 Custard • Sharing clothes

🥠 Fortune cookie • Sharing earbuds

🍪 Cookie • Sharing the last cookie

🥮 Mooncake • Holding hands in public

🍡Thing • Playing with each other’s hair

🍦Ice cream cone • Singing to lover

🍨 Ice cream dish • Feeling clingy

#I’m definitely adding more menu items eventually so stay tuned #writing prompts #concept menu #flutterfly alley #violetsandfluff #fluff prompts #fic writer #fanfiction prompts #writing prompt #angst prompt #smut prompts #fluff #smut #angst #writer

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lululawrence · 1 year

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lululawrence's March 2023 Fic List

Previous Fic Lists / Lulu’s List Podcast Masterpost

Happy 28th! I finally finished with reading Christmas, so the last batch of those are found here as well as a fun variety of other fics that kept me well entertained this month and hope you'll enjoy them too.

As always, be sure to show your love and appreciation with kudos, nice comments, and (when applicable) reblogging their fic posts!

it always leads to you (in my hometown) by @insightfulinsomniac / InsightfulInsomniac (41k, E, Harry/Louis, Christmas fic, exes to lovers, famous/non-famous, childhood friends to lovers to exes to strangers to lovers, if you want the whole rundown, though not all of it is shown in this fic lol, pining, angst and fluff, this fic was so enjoyable i devoured it and enjoyed every moment, the way they both wanted it so bad and tried so hard to get over each other, it was just so pure and good you know?, i really did enjoy it very much a lot)

A Boyfriend for Christmas by @chelsea-frew / Chelsea Frew (chelseafrew) (6k, G, Harry/Louis, Christmas fic, fake relationship, fluff and humor, Louis agrees to help Gemma by pretending to be her boyfriend to keep her family off her back, but then he meets Harry and lmao the STRUGGLE to hide the gay is hilarious I loved it so much, he was trying so hard, and Harry was so conflicted, but it all turned out alright and it's just such a cute fic)

Worries, Kisses and Surprises by @neondiamond / Neondiamond (3k, G, Harry/Louis, Christmas fic, established relationship, fluff, mpreg, this short little thing is so funny because Harry is trying so hard to keep it together and not let things slip, and Louis is just really pushing it and not picking up on the clues, and it's just so funny and cute, very sweet)

santa, won't you bring me the one i really need? by @alwaysxlarrie / alwaysxlarrie (6k, T, Harry/Louis, Christmas fic, meet cute, Louis is a last minute sub for a mall Santa, and Harry is the last minute sub as his helper elf, so many puns, so much flirting, so many horrible children and parents lmaoooo, this fic was silly and painful and cute and fun, just like a real mall santa gig lol)

when did i first know? i always knew by @panye / eynap (8k, E, Niall/Shawn, Christmas fic, established relationship, I would summarize this fic as anxiety and fluff lolololol, punctuated by some hot smut, it's Shawn's POV and you can FEEL his anxiety as he's starting to worry that he is SO in love and Niall.... is not, but oh gosh it's so perfect really it is, so sweet)

when I'm feeling alone, you remind me of home by pinkbathrrry (14k, NR, Harry/Louis, Christmas fic, co-workers, strangers to lovers, closeted in the workplace, Christmas together, listen this fic was so soft, it had a really lovely pacing to it that made it feel like it was gently lilting like a poem or a song, with these sweet little ending statements to scenes, it was just such a soft little Christmas fic)

The Hour of Us by @niallziam / sitandadmire (6k, M, Niall/Harry/Louis, Reverse Bang fic, girl direction, polyamory, established relationship, magic, witches, cottagecore, this fic was unbelievably soft and sweet, and so silly, the scene with the frog was so funny omgosh, but it's just so sweet even with the slight feeling of things going wrong you just know it's going to turn out perfectly, you know?, anyway, this was so sweet)

bitter ends turn sweet in time by @greeneyesfriedrice / me_her_themoon (24k, E, Harry/Louis, Christmas fic, childhood friends to ex-friends to coworkers to lovers, miscommunication, homeless Harry, boss Louis, assistant Harry, dog walker/kind of personal assistant/bestie Zayn, this fic was so lovely, it was so interesting piecing together their background and trying to figure out what went wrong, and the PINING oh my word it was fantastic, so good, this fic was so goooood, when they finally come together and figure out what's going on with them and fixing what went wrong it just, chef's kiss, so good)

Let Your Heart Be Light by @cyantific / Cyantific (78k, E, Harry/Louis, Advent fic, Christmas fic, grieving, strangers to lovers, enemies to lovers, kind of, lol, pining, more grieving, and grief, and love and sadness and the holidays being incredibly difficult because, you guessed it, grief!, this fic isn't a happy go lucky one, it handles a lot of difficult subjects and these characters have a hard time with it all, i cried a lot reading it, but it is so perfectly and beautifully done, it is incredible and such a beautiful fic, the journey the characters all take together, and the camaraderie between all of the friends, it is such a great read, i loved reading it as a wip and cannot believe i forgot the last chapters posted for as along as i did lol)

Teach me how to love by perfectdagger (sincerelyste) (71k, E, Harry/Louis, Bad As Sex AU, Harry is bad at sex, like SO bad at sex lolllllll, it's kind of like, one night stand to enemies to friends with benefits to lovers, but only kind of because enemies isn't quite right and neither is friends with benefits, but it's as close as it gets i guess, anyway there's so much more to this, but it's so much vulnerability, and so much exploration and growth and just, this fic was exactly my shit okay it was so good, i don't even know how to fully explain what made it so special but it really was so good, the smut was sexy as hell and the chemistry between the two of them leapt from the page and it was just, incredible, a truly stunning fic from start to finish)

Late Night Talking by @kingsofeverything / kingsofeverything (54k, E, Harry/Louis, Reverse Bang fic, famous/famous, Harry is essentially Jimmy Kimmel, and Louis is... himself except he'd always been a punk rocker basically?, holy COW y'all, the PINING, the angst, the longing!!!!, you know i'm a hoe for those things so it was just everything i love, this fic i just inhaled it, like so many others this month tbh, it was an absolute joy to read it, so many incredible moments, just, yes, so good lol)

Slide by @this-onegoes / thisonegoes (88k, E, Zayn/Harry, I'm trying to figure out how to summarize this fic lol because it is SO MUCH and doesn't really fit smoothly into any trope exactly, divorced Zayn, father Zayn, music producer Harry, neighbors, sexuality crisis, emotional hurt/comfort, SO much hurt/comfort, puzzles, kid fic, navigating life changes, daddy issues, angst, pain, happy ending, the best happiest ending, i just loved this fic so much, i dove right in and could not handle how incredible it was, if you read rare pairs ever you have to give this a try because it is just stunningly amazing, and the women in it are fabulous, and just wowowowowow, i have no idea how i just discovered this fic now but thank you to @louandhazaf for reccing it because it's a new fav)

#28th appreciation #fic writer appreciation #fic rec #my fic rec #fic list #march 2023 fic list

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alarrytale · 2 months

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Opening the Shiall theme, what about Niall’s gf? Do you think she’s a beard or they are really dating? Like until now I thought they are real couple but all those Niall’s queercoding theories and Shiall, I’m not sure anymore.

Oh and btw it’s funny how Shawn posted about how he’s in Paris attending Fashion Week and in the evening he was in London as Niall’s guest and nobody saw it coming. It’s just funny how these celebrieties can move under the radar and make it look like they are somewhere while they are anywhere else.

Hi, anon!

When i say i have no idea, i have no idea. He's publicly in a long term relationship with a woman, so that either means it's legit or it means it's bearding. It's not for PR. I haven't observed them together so i don't know how he acts around her, how his body language is around her etc. If he's bi/pan then i would think it would be very hard to tell if it's fake or real because i'd assume he'd be able to show attraction rather than hesitation/repulsion (like we see with H and L with women). I wouldn't have though a bi/pan man would need a beard, except if he was in a relationship with a man.

Niall is straight passing and don't fit perfectly into any gay stereotype. He's also the only 1D member who i've never heard stories of with men (true or not). There have been bi rumours about him since day one in 1D, but i think he's the first person anyone would point to when asked to identify a straight member of 1D.

On the other hand he is queercoding, with the one earring, the hanky and the men kissing t-shirt. He's openly lgbt+ supportive and the man is the opposite of toxic masculinity. He's also, to me, showing visible attraction to Shawn, a gay man imo. He's also shown behaviour towards other men that i struggle to understand if is attraction or simply deep admiration. So in short i have no clue.

About them moving around unnoticed. If there are hours enough in the day to make a trip, then you shouldn't rule out the possibility they did it. There are plenty of time to make a two and a half hour trip to London from Paris after attending a fashion show at 11 am to play a show at 9 pm. You'll have hours to spare as well.

#shiall #niall #solo niall

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theshowliveontour · 2 months

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Niall and Shawn Mendes singing together | The Show Live On Tour in London, UK (March 1st, 2024)

#niall horan #the show live on tour #tslot:london

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disgruntledkittenface · 7 months

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✨️ Twenty Questions for Fic Writers ✨️

Thank you @allwaswell16 and @haztobegood for tagging me! I love reading everyone's answers to these <3

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

60, including one cowrite

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

831,513

3. What fandoms do you write for?

One Direction. I use the BBC Radio 1 RPF tag for pairings with Nick Grimshaw, and I used the Shawn Mendes (Musician) one a few times, too.

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

you came into my life, caught up in your love affair, baby, you're the end of june, an honest mistake and tell me what you need

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

Yes! I love replying to comments, even when I feel awkward about it. I really like getting replies from authors, I find it discouraging not to, so that's partly why. But a nice comment really makes me day, and I want to let people know I appreciate that. But I might miss one occasionally, and sometimes I don't reply if I think the commenter is being rude.

6. What is a fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

It's probably my first fic, This Town. The whole fic is Niall processing Zayn leaving the band – but more importantly leaving him, and they don't get back together in the end. It's not my fault, Niall wrote a sad song! But also I was in the thick of grieving, so. That's what happened.

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

I almost, almost always write happy endings, so I could really pick this one at random lol, but I'll go with enough to make a girl blush. I really love how far Louis has come at the end of that fic and how happy she and Niall are together and how good they are together. Plus, I wrote a happy little timestamp for Harry and Zayn (count me in).

8. Do you get hate on fics?

I've gotten comments that don't sit well with me, but not really. I did post a fic set at the beginning of COVID before I knew how bad it would get, and someone messaged me to say they were sorry about the hate it was getting... but I didn't see any?

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

yes! I write smut that I find hot, girl direction and boy direction. When I started writing, I felt like I wrote absolutely terrible smut and I worked really hard to figure it out. Practice makes progress, baby.

10. Do you write crossovers? What the craziest one you've written?

I've written a couple of reality show AUs with the actual people from the shows in the fic – you came into my life and you wanna be on top? Nothing too crazy!

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

I think someone stole a shiall one-shot and posted it on Wattpad. Weirdly, I feel like I haven't made it because that doesn't happen to me more often.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

yes! Most recently, someone asked if they could translate pink like the paradise found into Russian and they were so lovely.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

I took part in a round robin for Nic's (@louandhazaf) birthday a few years ago! (Louis referring to merlot as the basic bitch of wines was me!) Co-writing has come up as an idea a couple of times, but the timing or idea etc has never been right.

14. What's your all-time favorite ship?

I kind of have to fall deep for a pairing to write them, so I love a lot of pairings! Aside from larry, I think gryles might be my favorite. Something about the pining best friends who can't be together because of... REASONS just gets me where I live.

15. What's a wip you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?

I had an idea for a lilo exes to lovers AU based on bennifer and I wrote a snippet that I really liked for it, but I felt like I was white washing Jennifer Lopez, if that's the right word? Like you can't separate her from the fact that she's Puerto Rican, so casting Louis in that role didn't feel right. I could try to figure out another way to approach it, but I don't really think I'll feel inspired enough.

16. What are your writing strengths?

I think I'm really good at continuity, and writing scenes with lots of people and involving all of them.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

I always feel like I start sentences with "Niall did this" and "Harry did that" (sorry, writing narry at the moment). So, narration that's not action? Does that make sense?

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

I think it can be done effectively. I liked how the French worked in Darling, so it goes. It made sense to include because Harry moved to a country where he didn't speak the language. I tried to make the meaning of the French clear when Harry understood it, but I didn't include translations in the notes because Harry didn't understand a lot, and I wanted the reader in his shoes. I worked really hard on the French because I don't speak it, but I asked @somethingwittyorother to look it over and their feedback was incredibly helpful.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

One Direction!

20. Favorite fic you've written?

It's usually the last fic that I posted, so right now it's Suddenly Last Summer. I had the best time writing it and it was such a fulfilling creative outlet, and I just love it.

I'll tag: @crinkle-eyed-boo @uhoh-but-yeah-alright @neondiamond @kingsofeverything @louandhazaf @absoloutenonsense @homosociallyyours @nouies @onlythebravest

#twenty questions for fic writers #i love this game!#queer eye au #accidental courting au #nouis omegaverse #zouis au #grace kelly au #an american tragedy au #lilo bennifer au

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fandom · 1 year

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Musical Acts

Week Ending March 20th, 2023

Taylor Swift +2

Hozier +20

My Chemical Romance -2

BTS -2

Louis Tomlinson +19

Stray Kids -2

Lana Del Rey +1

TWICE -2

Ghost -2

Megan Thee Stallion

Harry Styles -6

ATEEZ -3

Fall Out Boy +3

EXO +17

Kai +19

SEVENTEEN -6

Tomorrow X Together -5

The Cure

Greta Van Fleet -5

NCT Dream -1

Niall Horan +7

ENHYPEN -11

Beyonce

SHINee -7

Elvis Presley +1

Paramore -11

NCT 127 -4

The 1975 +1

BLΛƆKPIИK -2

Shawn Mendes

Rihanna +4

Queen -14

Le Sserafim

One Direction -2

Red Velvet -5

The Beatles +2

Gorillaz -16

Nirvana

Lovejoy

The Mechanisms

The number in italics indicates how many spots a name moved up or down from the previous week. Bolded names weren’t on the list last week.

#music #03/20/2023 #taylor swift

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nialls-gorgeous-colors · 3 months

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Shawn Mendes and Niall Horan Timeline

Year 2018

JAN 2018 NIALL’S ‘HAPPY BIRTHDAY SHAWN’ PICTURE AND SHAWN’S PICTURE OF THEM AT THE AMAS ARE, RESPECTIVELY, THEIR MOST LIKED POSTS ON IG FOR 2017

Jan 25 2018 Shawn talks about The Collab on The Voice: We’re really good friends and I mean, we hang out all the time. And we’re always like, ‘we should write a song’ and then we’re planning on writing a song, and we just end up hanging out. Always. (He said something similar back in Nov before the AMAs.)

Mar 2018

Fans, uh:

Mar 25 Shawn talks The Collab on The Weekend Countdown: My favorite thing about Niall is his sense of humor. He has this hilarious, Irish sense of humor that really cracks me up… How soon until there’s a collab? I have no idea. He’s always on tour when I’m writing, and he’s always writing when I’m on tour. So, one day. Hopefully.

MAY 2018

May 13 Shawn talks about performing at the O2: I mean performing the O2 was obviously just a complete dream of mine –and lucky enough to be able to do 2 nights there. A lot of people who I really love came and saw the show. Niall Horan, who’s a good friend of mine, came and watched me, and that was you know, a very special moment to me.

May 17 Shawn asks the audience at his Apple Music show to send Niall well wishes: Everybody watching online, if you could just tweet at Niall ‘feel better’ that would be really sweet.

Apple does, Niall replies:

May 24 Shawn talking about his most liked IG pic: This next photo is one of my favorite photos. Not because I’m sitting with Niall, because in the background, my A&R from Island Records, Ziggy, is there and he just looks so blow away by something and I have no idea… Also, the girl in between is making a hilarious face. That’s an awesome photo. I think this is like my most liked photo on Instagram, actually.

MAY 27 THE BIGGEST WEEKEND

Shawn and Niall do an interview together for BBC – FINALLY.

Transcribed in full here. Highlights include (via DailyNiall):

Bonus: we know, Nick

JUNE 2018

Jun 4 Niall does an interview with Fitzy & Wippa:

Sarah: Hey Niall, over the weekend… I was watching this thing on Instagram, and it was you and Shawn Mendes. Are you two just a little bit into each other? It was coming across as that you’re kind of obsessed.

Niall: Definitely not. They kept asking us questions that would make us answer it like that. Kind of like with [unintelligible], everyone thinks they’ve got a thing going on. Nah, we’re good mates. Just sat us down and interviewed us.

Sarah: I did hear you say that he plays you demos of his music before he takes it public. Was that true, or was that a lie?

Niall: No, that’s true, yeah. What’s wrong with that?

Sarah: Nothing! I just thought it’s amazing. We’re such big Shawn Mendes fans here. It was nice to see.

Interviewer: And are you brutally honest with him? If there’s a song you don’t like, or you think he could change? Do you tell him, or are you always like ‘mate, dude, this is amazing’?

Niall: Well, he’s on a bit of a roll at the minute. There’s nothing really…

Interviewer: He’s a very talented man. Have you ever thought of doing a song with Shawn? Have you guys actually put lyrics together, or music together?

Niall: No, we haven’t. We get asked about it a lot, to be fair… It’s kind of like –when we’re in the same place at the same time. Like, the other day we were in LA and a group – me and him and a group of our mates, we went to watch a U2 gig. We didn’t like – when we’re together, when we’re in the same city we don’t like sit in the studio together. Which we probably should get around to, but for the most part we just hang out together, to be honest.

Jun 7 Niall talks about Shawn during soundcheck:

and during #AskLateLateShawn: “if you had to create a boy band, who would you pick to be in it with you?” James and Shawn pick Jimi Hendrix, Harry Styles, Niall, and Elvis.

AUGUST 2018

Aug 20 At the VMAs Shawn is asked: What do you think about Niall Horan and Hailee?

Shawn: Niall and Hailee? They’re two of my favorite people in the whole world. Niall is one of my greatest friends. Hailee is one of the first people – you know, when she first started out, I was one of the first people she worked with in music. And I love them both. I thought this was common knowledge? I guess it was common knowledge for me, I’m close friends with them both.

NOVEMBER 2018

Nov 12 Shawn’s voice can be heard in the background of Niall’s InstaStory

NOV 17 SHAWN POSTS PICTURES OF HIM AND NIALL AT 40LOVE TO SNAPCHAT, INSTAGRAM, AND INSTASTORY: PICTURE, VIDEO (PUT THAT TONGUE AWAY HORAN)

DECEMBER 2018

Dec 4 Shawn talks about Niall during an interview with ET Canada.

Interviewer: You recently posted a photo with Niall Horan. And everytime you guys post a photo, fans are like ‘oh they must we working together.’

Shawn: We’re not. Not yet. We will though. You know what, we started really seriously talking about it that night. 100 percent going to happen. Niall and I talk about this pretty much every time we see each other. The truth is that we’re just really, really good friends and we always really enjoy just hanging out. And sometimes you don’t get a lot of time to hang out, so that’s what we want to do, but we’ll get in.

Dec 7 Niall tweets Shawn about his Grammy nom

Dec 8 Shawn talks with B96 about his Grammy nominations. When told to choose between charcoal, a karaoke machine, and a Bentley for Camilla, Niall (“we chose Niall for you…”) and Taylor, Shawn says: Niall’s getting the charcoal – 100 percent, immediately… Niall definitely gets the charcoal. That’s what’s most important here.

Int: I love it, that was so easy.

Shawn: Oh yeah, no, two bags of charcoal.

Int: Why was that so easy for you to say?

Shawn: It’s what he deserves! No I’m kidding. I really am kidding. I love Niall. He actually tweeted out the nicest thing he’s ever said to me ever about the Grammys, he’s just like really proud of me and tweeted it out. Yeah, he’s a good friend of mine, that’s why I’m bugging him.

Dec 14

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allwaswell16 · 1 year

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One Direction friends to lovers fics where one of the characters is having a sexuality crisis as requested in this ask. You can find all my other fic recs here. If you enjoy the fics, please leave kudos and comments for the writers! Happy reading!

—Harry/Louis—

⊹ Learning to Breathe by youcomecrash / @drunkharrystyles-blog

(E, 110k, uni au) He’s playing football at one of the top universities in England and he should love everything about his life right now, but instead he’s moving backwards.

⊹ Heading for Limbo by @kingsofeverything

(E, 100k, famous/not famous) When Harry discovers some life-changing things about himself, Louis is there for him, however he needs. But it’s all temporary because Louis has plans that will move his life from New York all the way to L.A. and the distance isn’t the only thing between them.

⊹ Follow Your Arrow by Anonymous

(E, 78k, high school) It's senior year and everything is about to change.

⊹Passing By by Larry_you_know / @larryyouknow

(E, 48k, vacation) the one where Harry doesn't even know he's into guys until he meets Louis on a boat trip. There's something more to their friendship but it ain't gonna be smooth sailing.

That's What I'm Here For by @taggiecb

(E, 46k, farm au) Louis needs help running his business but has no idea where to even start looking.

⊹ And Touch Me Like You Never by runaway_train / @runaway-train-works

(E, 35k, roommates) The one where Harry and Louis agree to be each other's New Year's kiss and it ends up being a lot more than they bargained for.

⊹ Follow Your Heart by dimpled_halo / @comebackassholes

(E, 32k, fake relationship) “We think it would be best to market you guys as a couple,” Simon tells them. The tone in his voice makes Louis think there’s no wiggle room to even try to argue about it.

⊹ others i've seen might never be mean (but they would never do) by @cherrylouvol6

(M, 20k, girl direction) a When Harry Met Sally AU in which Louis says all the wrong things and Harry always feels one step behind.

⊹ Supposed to Be by kikikryslee / @flamboyantommo

(M, 26k, high school au) the Geek Charming AU where Harry's a film geek, Louis' a popular jock, and they both need each other to get what they want.

⊹ Blush by orphan_account

(M, 15k, girl direction) the Christmas FxF Larry fic in which Louis is 99.5% sure she's straight and Harry likes to walk around shirtless and watch lesbian films

⊹ Waiting for Wonderful by QuickedWeen / @becomeawendybird

(M, 13k, pining) Harry is willing to wait as long as he needs to for his best friend to realise that they're supposed to be together, but it kills him to watch Louis struggle in his relationship with Mackenzie.

⊹ Nobody compares to you by fallenflowercrowns / @headband-husbands

(T, 10k, tumblr au) the one where Harry falls in love twice, Louis is just incredibly sweet and supportive, and Al from tumblr is super nice but also really secretive about his identity - not that Harry can blame him, considering his own blog is run under false pretences, too.

⊹ Elle Me Dit by QuickedWeen / @becomeawendybird

(M, 3k, girl direction) On the night of her bachelorette party she and her best friend/Maid of Honor, Harry, get drunk and wonder what they're missing out on.

—Rare Pairs—

⊹ You Don't Care About Me (One More Night) by @lululawrence

(NR, 60k, Louis/Nick Grimshaw) the one where Louis pines for Harry and Nick helps ease his way into figuring himself out through a friends with benefits sort of arrangement. Things quickly turn complicated.

⊹ we're still the kings of the Friday nights by we_are_the_same / @so-why-let-your-voice-be-tamed

(T, 22k, Zayn/Louis) Zayn’s been everything, for so long now. His moral compass, his partner in crime, his ride or die. And as of tonight, the first boy Louis has ever kissed.

⊹ The Stories They're Not In by abrighteryellow / @a-brighter-yellow

(E, 10k, Niall/Shawn Mendes) An AU inspired by Niall Horan's "San Francisco," the movie Rocketman, and Elton John and Bernie Taupin's real-life relationship (except more gay).

#ficrec #1dficvillage #trackinghome #trackinghappily #tracksintheam #1dsource

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louisisalarrie · 2 months

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Ooh, please tell me more about how Shiall today might relate to Larry? I’ve been keeping an eye on Niall, and I have so many thoughts, but I’m mostly just confused!

heya anon, and welcome to the show!

now, I want to start this off by saying I haven’t had much to do with the Shiall stuff, so I’m not an expert on it. But, here are a couple of my thoughts as to why this is an interesting turn of events, and what this means for larry.

so, it’s been pretty interesting seeing all the Shiall stuff online since the show happened. And well… I’ve seen a lot of larries/ziams also now start shipping Shiall, which is interesting, and while Shiall has never been as big as Larry or even Ziam, it blew up the fandom and even got headlines in the press. So… let’s have a deeper dive.

Now… people have believed in Shiall or at least entertained the idea of them together since at least 2017. It’s not a new thing whatsoever. But since the show of them performing together, it has become pretty huge. And there are a lot of solos reaaaaallllyyyy hating that, and it’s becoming a bit beefy between the niall girls and the shiall believers (which is yikes because can everyone just be nice to each other for a god damn second Jesus Christ) so it’s now dividing nialls otherwise pretty chill fandom. Which is new for him, and will be interesting to see how it’s handled. But so far in the press? It’s going well for him.

He’s gotten a write up in a few outlets which all have a similar headline of “Niall Horan Surprises Fans by Bringing Out Shawn Mendes at London Concert” (US Weekly). But, Rolling Stone really went all out here:

Now, I dunno about you… but adding “fellow lover boy” and “that’s my boy” to a headline 100% grabs attention and maybe implies a bit more than just pals. In my marketing and journalism experience/study, this would absolutely fall under seeding and somewhat subconsciously sways the reader into further curiosity about Niall and Shawn’s relationship.

What’s funny about this, is 1 week prior to the show, Elle posted this article out of quite literally nowhere. Shawn and Camila haven’t been spotted together since (to my knowledge) April of 2023 when they were photographed kissing at Coachella. So… why was this dropped a week prior?

Anyway, Niall is still signed to Modest mgmt, who we’ve watched control narratives and PR ops for the last 13 years. So, it’s safe to say we can see a bit of a pattern here, but it feels different this time too… right?

Niall’s mgmt would 110% know about the Shiall rumours. They’ve been around for over 6 years, and have continued to grow in popularity over the past couple of years particularly. It’s very obviously a topic that the fandom talk about, and that a lot believe in. So, to allow niall to bring on stage someone who his fans believe he’s actually dating as opposed to his “gf” who was also in the crowd that night (not that literally anyone cared lol) feels very freeing. Do modest and Niall not care about the rumours? Is it actually true and he managed to convince his team to let him do it in exchange of staying with his gf for longer? Or is it something entirely different?

Well… it’s a tricky one.

Modest have been well known to closet artists for years. We’ve seen it with larry, and other young men too. So, why the change of heart? Essentially encouraging rumours by giving this the go ahead, and rolling stone weirdly quickly posting that article with those particular words in the headline, why now?

It’s good PR, sure. It’s beneficial for Shawn to get back into the headlines more after not performing for 12 months, and gives nialls tour a bit of a boost. But i would argue that it’s encouraging Shiall. And I would also argue that modest have actively tried to squash gay rumours for years with larry (we will talk about the Union J shit show another time and just stick with larry for this) so it’s interesting that they’re encouraging it. But it’s been a pretty nice little test drive for larry, hasnt it?

In no way has Shiall divided the fandom to the same point as Larry, but the love we all saw for shiall (whether we believed in them being romantically linked or not, it was incredibly wholesome) from around the fandom was very loud. I saw a hell of a lot more positive chats than negative (and I looked deeper than just my timeline) and so it was pretty safe to say that it went well for the most part.

People are saying that niall might have done it behind his team’s back because Shawn was placed in Paris hours earlier, but that’s just a reminder of something we already know that we can’t trust photos to be released on the same day at the same time they are taken, but I think he’d get in a hell of a lot of trouble for that. So I’m not on board with that idea.

So I guess to put it down to a couple of options to sum this up:

a) modest has flipped the script and is okay with Shiall because they’re actually not dating (unlike how they handled larry because they were) and it’s all just rumours and niall and his gf aren’t bothered from it so it’s fine because it’s some good publicity

b) niall and Shawn actually are dating and his team is seeding a coming out, testing the waters with the fandom, perhaps try to encourage larry to sign with them again due to how “free thinking” they are now

c) nialls contract allows him to have more control over different aspects of his career so he was able to just invite him up there no matter what narrative is being pushed in his personal life

So… what’s this mean for larry and why have I rambled on for 3-5 business days?

Well…

Niall is dealing with the same rumours with Shawn as H and L do with each other. He is actively showing the fans that believing in a relationship between two dudes in fact doesn’t ruin their lives and families and their girlfriends are crying all the time, and he’s also showing other mgmt teams that you can do this shit without the world falling to pieces (aka the V*nes and Az*ff losers) whether or not it’s true. It’s a very small step in the right direction, but it’s a really good one. So I think yeah it’s important to see what this means for Larry and their next steps, because niall has made it look pretty simple. But I think we should keep watching this all very closely.

#anon #answered #louisisalarrie chats

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