#she came out relatively ok. didn't even need to go to the hospital

[injuryprompts]

Injury Prompt #1144

Horse falls on top of person

[krikeymate]

I had a thought! What if we put Sam in Wednesday as Wednesday's big sister... Wednesday is still very much Wednesday, but Sam (we can rename her, but I have no ideas right now :P) and Wednesday have a different bond. I imagine it could be similar to how Wednesday reacts to Uncle Fester, she just genuinely adores him and can't hide it, and it's the same with Sam. So, Sam's the odd one in the family. She loves them, but they're just too weird for her, and she just wants to be normal. So once she's 18, she leaves. She keeps in touch, though. Leaving behind her siblings and especially Wednesday doesn't feel good, but she can't stay either because she's not happy about their parents' parenting style. She knows they mean well, but she's incredibly over-protective, and watching her parents poison the food or celebrate the kids for almost killing each other is too much for her. She leaves before the relationship between her and her parents can get even more strained because it gets harder and harder for her to watch it happen.

Since she's keeping in touch, she knows that things grow difficult between Wednesday and the parents, too. Wednesday is getting in too much trouble, and her parents don't seem to have it handled at all. So Sam returns, but Wednesday has already been sent to Nevermore. Sam visits her there. Maybe she even takes a job as a teacher later on, to be closer to her sister. God, imagine how much fun it would be to watch Sam absolutely lose it because she's trying to keep Wednesday safe and out of trouble, but Wednesday is an absolute nightmare to keep safe. Like, she understands that Wednesday wants to solve crimes and stuff and that her sister is weirdly fascinated by it, BUT Wednesday's way of solving crimes is literally walking into traps and seeing what happens next... Sam would have a horrible time as Wednesday's big sister :P

Also, Sam getting her hands on Tyler after the season 1 showdown... she always thought that Wednesday was the violent one in the family. Turns out she has a pretty violent side, too, and she even enjoys it :D And Wednesday watching Sam do her thing with Tyler... she adores her big sister even more after it.

Ok so like the idea of Morticia and Gomez just having a relatively normal child as their firstborn is so funny to me. Imagine how relieved they are when they finally have Wednesday and she's their normal. They were doubting themselves for a few years there, as their firstborn was nothing like any Addams that came before. It feels like all the Addams' weirdness was saved for their middle child, because even Pugsly doesn't come out quite so strange.

They love all their children and they do their best to raise their firstborn in a way that fits their needs. Despite their differences, Samantha (her name is supposed to be Satana, but the nurse at the hospital misheard her when writing the birth certificate. They call her Satana anyway, until Sam puts her foot down and demands to be called Sam), adores her weird little sister. And Wednesday adores her back, in her own little way. Wednesday is even gentle with her big sister, she didn't even need to be told that her big sister is... special, that she has special needs, Wednesday just knew. Her intelligence and observation skills become apparent so young.

Sam chafes under her unusual family, always feeling like an outsider. Wednesday listens to none but her big sister, will accept advice from no one else. She's on a school trip when Nero gets killed. She comes back to a crushed little sister, quiet and withdrawn. Wednesday pulls away after that, shies away from her touch. Sam lives for the moments she slips her hand into hers anyway. The little moments that remind her that her little sister is still there.

School is a nightmare. Wednesday gets bullied. Sam does her best to scare the bullies away, but it's fruitless, she isn't there to protect her. She learns Wednesday can protect herself. At 18, she gets an opportunity to go to college abroad, to study Psychology. Her family are so so proud, even after they realise it won't involve dissecting brains or lobotomies. Sam's hesitant to go, with all the problems at school Wednesday's been having. Her sister tells her, in her own stoic way, that she is foolish if she were to consider passing up the opportunity (that she'll miss her, that she understands, that Sam needs to find out where she belongs). On the day Sam leaves, Wednesday lets her hug her and kiss her on the cheek. Their father and Pugsley are sobbing and begging her not to leave. Their mother lets out a few tears of her own, her baby is going out in the big wide world alone, going where they can't reach her if she needs her. And so fragile. They try to send Thing with her. Sam reminds them that Wednesday and Pugsley will need Thing more. That she'll be okay. That the world isn't as scary as they fear it is.

Sam gets frequent letters from her parents and Pugsley, tales of Wednesday's schemes and heartfelt I miss you's. She gets one a quarter from Wednesday, all matter-of-fact and a succinct summary of the past months. Then the letters stop for a while, and Sam hears nothing. It worries her. She books the first flight home for Winter break. She learns her little sister almost died. Did die. The way Wednesday brushes it off infuriates her.

She registers for a position in Nevermore. Her mother's wry smile as she passes by her that evening looks suspiciously knowledgeable.

Wednesday goes back to school, exasperated, with her big sister in tow.

Enid LOVES Wednesday's big sister. She's like how the fuck are you two related. She gets major hero worship for Sam. Wednesday gets SO WEIRD about it. She feels possessive over Sam. She feels possessive over Enid. Sam's the one who realises Wednesday is jealous, and that's she's jealous because she has a crush. She is so excited to finally get to tease her sister about something so normal. She'll cherish Wednesday's blushing face for the rest of her days.

When Tyler comes back, Sam realises she really is an Addams after all. Wednesday has always reiterated that Sam is an Addams, no matter how abnormal she may be, but she's never felt it until the moment she blinks and finds herself over a bleeding body, her awestruck little sister smiling up at her from the floor. The bruises on her cheek, around her neck, they fill her with an all-encompassing rage that she grinds her teeth to hold back. She steps away and picks her sister up - too enamoured to care that her reputation is being ruined. Sam finally gave into the darkness, and she did it for her. This is the best day of Wednesday's life.

[dystopiandramaqueen]

Nick Blaine is a very simple man.

He has one (1) threshold for violence. June Osborne's PHYSICAL safety.

When he learned that she was not ok. He went immediately to her bedside. To confirm for himself, and to offer what support he could. I think that's a deep human instinct. Go. When there's big trouble like a death or hospitalization. Go, check it out for yourself, see how you can help. Stabilize June. Before anything else.

He doesn't want to DE-stabilize June's support network in Canada.

Nick knows that Luke is a jealous man. He doesn't want to call June's loyalty to Luke into question by being present unbidden. So he leaves. Not even needing June to know he came. Like he didn't need credit for saving, smuggling and releasing the letters from Jezebel's.

Nick Blaine does not act for glory, but bc its the right thing to do.

Punching Lawrence was NOT impulsive.

An Impulse occurs in seconds.

Nick Blaine calmly crossed back into a warzone.

Drove himself for hours to Lawrence's house. Lots of calm time to think and plan.

Arrives. Sees that EVERYONE is watching. Whole social scene present to watch you administer your justice. This does NOT, in any way, change his decision.

HE LEFT THE FUCKING DOOR OPEN. (disrespect and disregard for LAWRENCE's safety. Even the illusion of giving a shit about decorum and manners is out the window)

Calmly found his target, and delivered his statement. A judgment. Not a question, not a conversation, but violence.

Not really caring if Lawrence's lips issued the order.

Punishing him, calling Lawrence out for LETTING JUNE GET HURT ON HIS WATCH. Lawrence is higher up than Nick, now that he's remarried. It could have just been a Canadian domestic terrorist unrelated to Gilead. But even the POSSIBILITY needs to be dealt with. Again, IN PERSON.

Nick's priorities:

Physically show up to help protect June. If the best way to do that is to leave, so be it. June was physically stable, safe, with Luke, her protector in the building. She was physically safe, and ok for now.

Whoop Ass. As much as necessary. So that this never happens again. Physical Violence now. To protect June's future. Like- I see this in !dad Nick if the guy who took his daughter out on a date got in a car wreck. Nick would roll into the hospital and do the exact same thing. "You said you'd keep her SAFE." Like- endanger my girl and YOU are in danger. Everyone needs to act as if her safety is THEIR safety. And Nick is the enforcer. It's so masculine and primal and POWERFUL and we KNEW that was his nature. GOD it feels good to finally see it!!!!!

And Nick couldn't turn these instincts off. It was personal. This reminds me SO MUCH of Tarantino characters. Heros driven by an internal code of honor, like oldschool knights and samurai.

I hope he has a HUGE invisible network of helpers to get him out of jail relatively quickly.

I hope Lawrence pays back Nick's saving from jail move from S3. Pay back his "You Owe Me."

[the-acid-pear]

Neighborhood gossip time‼️

Recently, a day or so ago, early in the morning a neighbor ran another one down. Man was high and drunk and just ripped off a tree and hit this 60 something year old woman. She lived, and will likely keep living, so don't worry about that. However bc this is one of those old neighborhoods where everyone knows each other and shit everyone was LIVID and there was running and screaming and shit, enough so to wake my step mom up who was trying to enjoy being able to stay in bed late bc no work 💀

Anyway while they were trying to call the ambulance and they were trying to hold back the guy, and idk how bc i wasn't there and my step mom, teller of the story, was just kinda standing back trying to wake up, but the man just escaped somehow and so the chase of the fucking century broke loose. Everyone was running. Hell, EVEN THE WOMAN'S HUSBAND, A MAN WITH HALF HIS BODY PARALYZED AFTER A RATHER RECENT STROKE HE SUFFERED, MANAGED TO RUN (granted he didn't get far but my step mom and her parallel neighbor agreed it was thanks to the power of love).

Eventually the man was caught and to keep adding to the tragedy like this was straight up of a telenovela, his brother started beating the living shit out of him because now due to this whole ordeal their mother's blood pressure went up so he was just going at it while his brother was down screaming about how he nearly killer their mother and how he has to stop doing drugs and shit. Seriously, straight up out of a telenovela.

And it doesn't even end therez because the woman was taken to the nearest hospital, obviously, to check her injuries. The bad part is, this hospital has some awful reputation of the doctors being fucking butchers. My step mom, who also went there, was like "ah man you shouldn't say that about them...", which is fair! Defending her people since she's studying to be a nurse!

Well she was there cuz my lil step bro had a sort of allergic reaction or something (he's ok too) and when she came out from dealing w his issue she asked if she was done or what was going on with her. They informed her she had been translated to a different hospital, the one of her insurance, so cool.

Now, the woman's injuries were relatively tame for such a violent impact and being so old and frail: she had a broken shoulder/arm and some internal bleeding. Thing is, in the hospital here they wanted to open her up to check WHERE the bleeding was, but when they took her to the paid one they were like "um no you don't need to do surgery to find out that". So yeah, they WERE fucking butchers fr 💀

And that's where this crazy ass saga ends. Woman will hopefully be alright! Fucked how bad this mf ruined new year for her and her family but alas... :/

[parchmentedpetrichor]

➳who cursed the bludger? ♡

in which the reader's dominant hand is injured badly after a rogue bludger slams into it and none other than fred weasley is behind it. who cursed the bludger?

fred weasley x fem!reader

word count: ± 2k

tw: serious injury, a little bit of swearing

drop a follow if you wanna see more of this content!!

my masterlist:D

ft. penny clearwater

who cursed the bludger?

y/n was currently draped lazily over her broomstick, haven given up trying to teach penelope clearwater how to fly. said prefect was on the grass, smirking as y/n embarrassedly looked around.

"penny that's not ok to ask!"

"fine, fine," she pondered for a moment, "hey, what's up with you and fred weasley, huh?"

"nothing at all," y/n answered a little too quick for penny's liking.

"c'mon, y/n, you're younger than me, i should know all that happens. you two are very...flirty."

"yeah well, my dear pennysylvania, we have flirty personalities. duh."

"no, you don't."

"okay, i don't. he does."

"but he seems like he means it."

"of course he means it? he says it in a joking way? y'know, he means it as a joke."

"hmm, nope, i don't think so, y/n. he's looking your way right now."

"i'm probably blocking the space, let's move outta the way."

"you're not gonna play with them?"

"already play in matches, why now? let's chat."

fred was silently eavesdropping on their conversation as he heard his name.

"sooo you and perceeee??" y/n dragged out, grinning as she did loop-do-loops with her broomstick.

penny blushed, but looked disappointed, "he likes oliver."

"oh. well, f percy, what about marcus??"

"he's just marcus. we're best friends, y/n."

"my fav trope of romance is best friends to lovers," y/n wiggled her eyebrows suggestively and penny shook her head in amusement.

"my one is the opposites attract."

"hmm yeah, that's a good one too, it's really cute! say, aren't you and mar-"

"i was meaning you!"

"huh?"

"you and fred."

fred smirked as he listened, flicking back the bludger harshly at angelina.

"oh yes because we are totally meant for each other," y/n sarcastically replied.

"what's that supposed to mean?"

"yes."

"you're doing this on purpose!"

"hmm? what?"

"oh my goodness, merlin you're stupid bro!" penny said exasperatedly.

"and you just realised. congrats, penny."

"anyway, what i'm saying is you and fred are rather like opposites. although he's extroverted and you're extroverted, you're a cute little nerd," y/n huffed at this 'i am n o t a nerd for the last time!' "and he's a class clown in the most charming way. you like reading and he likes pranking people and quidditch. you're a goody two shoes, an adorable one, but he's this foolish jock," penny looked proud with her argument so y/n laughed, "you're modest and he's very confident. and you're both hot."

y/n smiled, "i am not hot!" she giggled, "that's stupid."

"oi, ange!" penny called to angelina who looked over at her in amusement.

"yeah?"

"is y/n hot?"

"oh, totally!" angelina casually threw the quaffle into the hoop, "10/10."

"guyyys you flatTer me," y/n stretched out as the three of them laughed, "i'm bLushIng."

"you actually are," angie quipped.

"it's a command thing. if she wants to blush, she'll blush," replied penny.

they burst into giggles again.

fred watched y/n. a rosy pink, sure enough, had spread across her cheeks. that was enough to get her blushing?

"oi, l/n!"

y/n's head snapped his way, her eyes narrowed as if expecting an insult being thrown her way.

"your lips are pretty!"

her form relaxed, "thanks! yours are too!!"

penny giggled as angie rolled around laughing.

"what?" y/n looked around.

"the way you return flirting is hilarious."

"a compliment for a compliment, isn't that what they say?"

angelina snorted, "no one says that."

"oh well i say it, so deal with it."

"hey, i have an idea!" penny brightened up.

"let's hear it!"

"let's teach y/n pick up lines, ange!"

"oh you're a genius, penny!"

"okay, so-"

a bludger came whizzing at y/n as she screamed, trying frantically to dodge it. it hit her hand and a crack was heard.

luckily she immediately hopped off calmly, taking out her wand shakily and stunning the bludger, before penny and angie helped her over to the hospital ward, fred lagging guiltily behind.

she was ordered to stay in bed rest and with drowsy eyes she drifted off.

fred watched her feeling so terrible as he saw her heavily bandaged hand, imagining how he was going to tell her that he was in fact the one that had charmed it.

the next day, she was out and about, gently cradling her hand which was broken.

"um, hey, y/n," he nervously approached her.

"oh, hello!"

"i might have jinxed the bludger to go wild," he confessed abruptly, "i'm really sorry i didn't mean to-"

"no, it's fine, really." she gave him a reassuring smile and walked off.

he noticed that she couldn't write in class. usually she was scribbling away, but she just sat awkwardly at her desk, trying frantically to get anything legible down with her non-dominant hand. the fact she was so courteous and forgiving about everything just made it worse.

by now, y/n was dying inside. she couldn't write notes, and even though she wanted to ask any willing person for a duplicate of their notes, she'd have to explain the whole broken hand thing.

"ange?"

"yep?"

"do you have history of magic notes?" y/n did puppy eyes.

"nope, you forgot i dropped out."

"oh."

"do you want mine?" fred asked, smirking as he looked y/n up and down.

"you take notes?!!!" y/n was shook.

"only for you, 'cause i felt bad."

"you didn't need to!"

"i did. you want them?"

"yes please, thank you so much, you're a lifesaver!!"

"you're acting like you're not the one the bludger hit," angie quipped and y/n frowned, completely forgetting fred was still there, browsing the notes.

"c'mon, it was just an accident. and i've always wanted to be ambidextrous."

"lovely, you were struggling. i'll take all your notes. my handwriting isn't neat but i owe you."

y/n ducked to hide the light blush she could not control at all.

immediately she got a confused look from fred.

and instantly she thought of something that might make the blush go away. he didn't mean it, it slipped out, she thought and she felt her face cooling down, a slight frown appearing on her face.

"o-okay, thanks fred."

"no problems, darling," he flirted.

"that's good, darling," she flirted graciously back, bravely tilting her head up and looking him in the eye.

he took it well.

"where did you learn how to flirt so well, my little love??"

"why, freddie," she joked flirtatiously, "from you of course!"

he coughed and excused himself.

"he should really be careful with who he's flirting mindlessly with," y/n rolled her eyes.

angelina laughed, "flirting mindlessly? do you see the way he looks at you?"

"personality," y/n stated simply.

"or not."

true to his word, notes in fred's flurry of handwriting appeared neatly stacked every day. they were far too thorough and consisted of stupid flirty notes by the side. sometimes a little note, written in class, was jammed in there probably by accident:

hello freddie!

i have a crush on you 0-o, hogsmeade at 7pm on sunday?

-jamie <3, boy who sits in front of you in arithmancy

jamie,

i already have my eye on someone :) not you, sorry, y/n cringed at the bluntness of his words

you are very nice, perhaps try trera rivera if you swing that way? or illinois ann if you swing all ways?

oh i'm so sorry, i didn't know that! i'll talk to both. was the gracious answer

-jamie

and again! the lucky boy! this time from a girl.

weasley-

i know we hate each other but give me a chance to explain myself? broom closet at 9 tomorrow ? it trailed off to something that y/n didn't even want to think about.

k.o

fuck off. i don't fucking like you, i like someone else, ffs.

was the reply as y/n laughed and made sure to give the note back to fred.

it wasn't everyday someone confessed to you, right?

she underlined all the words that simply weren't legible to ask fred about.

and aNOTHER ONE?? how did this boy have so many admirers? y/n had received 0 love letters from any boy, let alone people of the same gender. you knew you were good with the ladies (and the gentlemen) when everyone sent you these letters.

dearest frederick-

it droned quite sweetly on about him and loving him and the writing was really magnificent.

margaret perrer

hi marg

i'm really really sorry. you seem like such a nice person, and it's not you, it's me. i, however, have a friend who really adores you: kenneth. he'll be an amazing friend and maybe more.

i also already am interested in another girl, so it really isn't you. thank you for your beautiful letter, hopefully we can be friends!

fred

oh he was very nice. feeling like she had overstepped the boundaries, she put them aside, discovering more and more but putting them all in a stack. she felt slightly insecure, especially when they all looked relatively neW?? the perfume on the flowers still smelled fresh?? who was this guy?

she sighed, finishing her read through and being thoroughly impressed with the sheer quality of the notes.

but there were around 100 words she had underlined. she skipped down into the great hall where she spotted two gingers. as soon as one (she couldn't see which one) saw her, he got up, whispered to the other something, and left.

when she approached the one that was left behind, she saw it was george.

"hi georgie!" she greeted him and thrust the papers into his hand, "where's fred?"

george shrugs, "left, for a date or something."

"oh, okay, could you translate these for me, the underlined words?" if y/n was disappointed, she didn't show it.

"oh yeah, sure, his handwriting's rubbish, isn't it."

"yes it is, i can barely read half of it."

george finished scribbling words next to the underlined ones.

"oh! and give these back to him? i'm pretty sure he dropped them in, probably got mixed up." she gave him the pile of letters, now neatly bundled in rope she had found.

"oh, yeah sure," george smirked, "of course."

"nice, well that's it, thanks for the help!"

"anything else?"

"tell fred good luck."

"right, right, mhm."

"yea."

once she'd left, george took out his walkie talkie.

"got that, freddie?"

"crystal clear."

"you're pining, pffft, hahahahah," george smirked as fred sighed.

"it didn't even work?"

"which plan?"

"the one to drop the letters in."

"i'm pretty sure she read like two, she didn't seem that disappointed?"

"exactly."

"you're an idiot. just tell her."

"but that's boringggg."

"well drop the hints then, merlin fred you're terrible at this."

"i haven't dated a billion girls like you!"

"then learn how to date my goodness."

"true."

"come fucking back."

"hickies or no?"

"eh go for it. i wanna see her reaction and then we can decide whether she likes you or not."

fred strided handsomely in, neck littered with little hickies and his top had two buttons open, freckles and pale broad shoulders showing.

george rolled his eyes, muttering, "drama queen," as he subtlely watched y/n. she managed not to look so surprised, her eyes widening then looking down quickly at her hands.

he would have thought she felt nothing for his twin if a light pink had not dusted over her face and if angie had not nudged her with a concerned look on her face.

y/n was wondering what the hell happened, disappointment rising slowly in her.

"okay, she's into you," george whispered as fred began removing the spell, leaving the unbuttoned shirt unbuttoned.

"cool beans."

"oh and she gives these back," george smirked.

"oh look at how she bundled it! so adorable georgie!"

"you're disgusting."

y/n hurried to the library at 6pm. she had heard the book she had waited for was finally available.

as she settled down with it, a paper aeroplane hit her.

"ahh!" she screamed as she caught it.

it read:

forbidden forest, 8pm.

huh? was this meant for her? it was in neat handwriting and on the smoothest parchment, with a single flower that smelt like fresh rain.

[melstanaccount]

Why I'm a Mel Stan

Thought I'd give a run-down on why I'm a Mel Stan lol (a term that is relatively new to me)!

I loved the The Last of Us, but the Part 2 resonated with me in a much deeper way. Originally, I was very much an Abby Stan. Like both Abby and Ellie, I lost someone very close to me in real life to murder and had to watch their killers escape justice, in my case because of intrenched homophobia and a morally corrupt criminal justice system.

In 2017 my little brother was pummeled into the ground by three men outside a nightclub. They kicked him, punched him, and turned bottles on him. His sin was kissing another man in front of a group of bigoted thugs. He died in hospital a few hours later and my mother died of a stress related stroke two weeks later. I was overseas at the time on a deployment and no one knew how to contact me, so I didn't find out til after they were buried.

This was a very cathartic game for me.

I very much empathise with both characters, but the more I played it and the more I came to terms with my own life and loss, the faster my love of them waned. Vengeance isn't justice (even in the apocalypse) and both characters went through a comprehensive arc and I think they both realised this by the end of the game. Of the two player characters, I'll probably always empathise with Abby more as she repeatedly tried to make good and atone in a much more concerted way than Ellie.

Part 2 is full of rich and beautiful characters. In particular Dina is fantastic, Lev and Yara are exceptionally brave, and Owen is a kind and gentle soul (if a bit thoughtless). I always felt for Mel, even in my very first play-through. She spent the whole game putting aside what she needed/wanted to help/please other people and getting treated kind of poorly for it and then dies pregnant and terrified (which as a dad, repeatedly hit me right in the gut)

Then I read a lot of pretty un-nuanced discourse. Mel bad because she called Abby a POS. Yes, she could have directed more anger at Owen (and she eventually did), but it's also worth bearing in mind that Mel does not have the knowledge about Abby's motives and her development as a character that we the player do, and Abby was meant to be her friend.

Mel probably wanted Joel brought to 'justice' for her own reasons. She was Jerry's student and probably pretty close to the man. She was also close with Abby and probably wanted it for her as well. You can see how uncomfortable she is with what actually happens to Joel in her body language, facial expressions and her hesitation to apply the tourniquet (more on this in the link below). She says in the game that Jackson shook her. Violence of that level has a tendency to do that to all involved (Abby is clearly no exception).

On their way to the FOB, Mel extends an olive branch to her friend, who she's avoiding and tries to reconnect. She knows Abby is suffering as well, offers her sleeping pills and tries to share that trauma with Abby. Abby takes that attempt as an attack and responds pretty snidely (have a look back at that scene, they both have amazing actresses behind them and the way Mel kind of crumples emotionally is pretty sad).

Below is a bit of an analysis of this conversation from reddit user BrennanSpeaks

Then Owen and Abby both go AWOL on the same day, Mel loyal to her friends, doesn't give them up, despite Isaac being pretty hard on her according to Nora and goes after Owen, through a dangerous city with only Alice for company. Then she finds Abby there as well, with a couple of seraphite kids (remember the day prior, Abby saying she was A-ok with murdering Seraphite kids), in a place she thought was Owen and hers. With the incomplete information she had, her mind goes in a certain direction - Abby is only helping these kids, to appeal to Owen's gentle side and get back with him. It's a bit of a stretch from the player's perspective, but Mel has every reason to think the worst of Abby.

It's also worth bearing in mind what Nora tells Abby at the hospital. When Abby left the FOB, Isaac interrogated them about where Abby and Owen went, and says that Isaac was particularly rough with Mel and we know that Isaac is a bit of a psycho. Mel didn't give them up. Now she’s left the FOB, and like Abby and Owen, is now a deserter, and the WLF do not take kindly to deserters as we learn. So she’s in an incredibly vulnerable position, she’s not a fighter like Abby, she’s a tiny little heavily pregnant doctor, and she’s kind of at Abby and Owens mercy. Not a comfortable position for her to be in. To top all that of, Owen has been ghosting her for weeks, on Seattle day 1 she mentions he hasn’t even seen their new quarters in the family section and seems genuinely stressed out about this when she asks Abby if she’s talked to him.

But she puts that aside to help Yara (a Scar, who she is meant to hate, but doesn't, as like good boy Owen, she seems a lot less tribal). But all that hurt she's bottling up finally boils over and she directs it at Abby first, a big personality who until now she's seemed reluctant to confront. To her credit, Abby actually takes it on the chin, maybe realising that she had kind of been a shitty friend, despite the fact that she doesn't really deserve to be the entire focus of Mel's ire (she still very much cares for Mel I think and tells Owen to get his priorities straight).

And the whole you've always been a piece of shit thing I'm going to put down to the heat of the moment.

To be clear. Mel has misread the situation, Abby is becoming a better person than Mel knows.

I don't think any of that warrants the dislike she seems to get.

Then there's the No Loose Ends thing. Not her finest hour, but she has just witnessed what awful things people will do in the name of vengeance and does not want that for her, her loved ones and her unborn child.

Again, don't think this means she deserves to be a D or E on all those character tier list things people make.

Then there's the She Was Going To Give Abby Up thing and yeah, she was terrified, didn't want to die and wanted to save herself, the man she loved and their unborn child from the person who was pointing a gun at them. Owen should have let her, it probably wouldn't have helped Ellie find Abby at all.

So basically the more I played the game, the more I thought she was one of the best human beings in it. She wanted to keep her loved ones safe and she wanted to be a mother, but was fearful for what that would look like in the world she lived in.

I also see reflected in her character a lot of someone who is very near and dear to me: She's got a low bullshit tolerance, but is very bad at confrontation so bottles it up. She seems to be one of the most empathetic and kindhearted characters in the game. From her bodily language and mannerisms I always got the impression that she has crippling anxiety and as mentioned before, she always seemed to put other people first. She loves dogs, and kids, and making use of her surgical skills to help people. She's just a wholesome little bean.

I also tend to favour the underdog, so given there are so few Mel Stans in the fandom I thought I might as well be.

Naughty Dog are geniuses.

Apologies if that was an incoherent mess. As always I blame the fact that English isn't my mother tongue.

P.S.

I see a lot of people hating on her for getting in that truck with Manny and Abby. Here's what I say to that. Pay attention to the context and what everyone says. They're not going out to fight Scars, they're travelling along what is deemed a very safe route, to a heavily fortified Forward Operation Base (FOB) where Mel will be working as a surgeon. That FOB has huge walls and hundreds of soldiers. It's a safe place. There are also wounded WLF soldiers pouring in, so it's understandable that Mel, a talented surgeon, is going there. She's literally commuting to work. When they get ambushed, she fights, because she has to.

People have weird hang-ups when it comes to pregnant women. They're allowed to live their lives, do their jobs, contribute, etc. You can't lock someone up and wrap them in cotton wool for nine months, especially when it's the apocalypse and they're a talented surgeon.

P.S.S,

Please enjoy this REALLY good and probably more articulate essay from Brennanspeak:

Long story short, Mel is a very underrated character. We're primed to dislike her in-game because she's practically always an antagonist to our player-character - whether we're playing as Ellie or Abby, Mel's motivations will clash with "ours" in some way, shape, or form. But, her actions were absolutely understandable.

First off, she was Jerry Anderson's student. It's clear that his mentorship meant a lot to her. In some ways, she might have known him better than Abby did, because she related to him as one adult to another. He was her Obi-Wan, and then he was murdered, and she had all the reason in the world to be angry.

She and Abby were very close, once upon a time. She writes a letter to Abby (found in Abby's backpack in "The Park") where she thanks Abby for her help in arranging her mentorship with Jerry. She even suggests they go get drunk together to celebrate. She had reason to want to support Abby's revenge quest.

When it actually happens, it doesn't go like she expected. She doesn't get any catharsis from it. Abby coerces her into participating in torture, which she's never done before and never intended to do. She's so shaken that she can't watch for most of it - she and Owen leave the room. As Manny later points out, she's never hurt anyone like that before, and Abby almost forces her into it.

Because Mel understands just how fucked up their torture of Joel is, she's able to see Ellie with clearer eyes. She realizes that the wolves absolutely are not the heroes, here, and that Ellie, or anyone from Jackson, would have ample reason to want to track them down and make them pay. Abby (and Owen) don't really understand the threat that Ellie poses to them because it never occurs to them that someone would love Joel enough to avenge him. No one mourns the wicked, right? But, Mel couldn't help but see him as human, so she recognizes Ellie (and Tommy) as people who loved him. And, then, the ruthless, survival oriented part of her brain kicks in and she recognizes these "loose ends" for the threat that they are.

When we see her through Abby's eyes, much later, we see the toll that Jackson took on her. Mel's anger towards Abby is simmering but constantly stifled. She doesn't feel confident enough to confront a strong personality like Abby's and tell her that she was wrong. So, she tries to find subtle, non-confrontational ways of expressing how she feels. "I guess Jackson shook me, too." Abby is dealing with her own repressed guilt and doesn't appreciate this mirror being held up to her actions, so she lashes out, and the distance between them grows. Mel is feeling this intense conflict between her ideals as a medic and the actions that she's participated in - or been goaded into. She had lots of reasons to believe the worst of Abby.

Meanwhile, because Girlfriend just can't catch a break, she's in love with (and pregnant with) a guy who just can't love her back. We don't know why Mel and Owen got together, but it probably had something to do with Owen looking for something brighter and more innocent after seeing the growing darkness in Abby. But, he's still in love with Abby, and he can't let that go, even after more than a year with Mel. And now they're pregnant, and Mel is ready to just settle down, establish a family, and maybe move on from violence. But, Owen isn't on board. He ghosts her for weeks, so she can't even plan for what their life together will look like.

And now, suddenly, things are happening. Maybe Mel was "Melissa" and was considering leaving with Ji-Soo, maybe not, but once Owen is AWOL, her priorities shift. She sets off alone, accompanied only by her dog, and follows him deep into hostile territory, finds a way to get to him . . . and finds him post-coital and expecting Abby. Now, she's been betrayed by both the man she loves and the girl who used to be her friend. She had every reason to believe the worst of Abby and to look for a cynical motive in her every action. Abby had treated her like shit, so it was totally reasonable for her to see Abby as a piece of shit.

The real tragedy of Mel is her last moments. Owen uses their relationship to try to pressure her into risking her life on a suicide mission to the island. She puts her foot down and finally stands up for herself, at which point he promptly dumps her, telling her to "go back," as if she could just waltz back into the FOB after going AWOL for him. A moment later, Ellie confronts her - a living reminder of the worst thing she's ever done. She wants to bargain with her - to give up Abby, the toxic influence on her life, in exchange for just survival and escape for her and her baby, but she's thwarted by Owen. In the end, he'd rather put her and their child in mortal peril than risk any harm befalling Abby, no matter how unlikely it is that Ellie could have found her. Owen escalates things and gets himself shot and Mel, trying to defend or avenge him, dies too.

tl;dr: Mel gets screwed over more than any other character in the franchise. Meanwhile, she shows more moral fiber than most, but she's ultimately punished for doing what she needed to do from the start: standing up to the people in her life when they try to control her.

This concludes my TED talk; subscribe to my fanfic for more.

[faeintheointment]

A New Normal Part 3

A few months have gone by since the surprising start of this newly rekindled relationship. He was definitely becoming more relaxed around me, and as a result, I wasn't afraid to be more tactile with him. Things were still platonic, I was convinced he couldn't feel any more than that for me given my relative smallness. I wasn't sure about how I felt - try as I might to be rational about the whole situation (Can you be rational in a situation like this?), I couldn't help but blush if I caught him looking at me, or feeling a rush of delight at being picked up, held or touched. It was nice to feel that close to someone. I still had my doubts, though. Was a connection between us doomed to failure, even if he did find me attractive in a more than friends way? It was easier to avoid the topic altogether - no matter what, I didn't want to lose him a second time like I did when we lost touch before this life changing event.

Saturday afternoon rolled around, and it was a glorious day. As I arrived at his house and I parked the car, I heard the doctor and nurse who visited him for his check-ups talking.

"He's like a new man, whole demeanour has changed," said the nurse.

"Did you see him checking his phone? His face lit up when the text came through. I wonder if there's someone on the scene," said the doctor, agreeing.

"How could you though? I mean, it would feel so weird - you'd never be able to... you know...."

I waited until they got in their car and drove away before I made my way to the front door. Before that I considered the implications of their words. Not only the aspect of... intimacy... there was the constant whispering and speculation of others. Was it fair to put him through being judged not only for his size, but for having a pocket-sized partner? At that point I decided to just put anything beyond friendship to bed for good. It was for the greater good.

When I approached the door, he had already opened it and was standing waiting for me. I greeted him and he picked me up like usual. Wasn't worth the back and neck ache of the craning and bending. Besides, it was a familiar act now.

"It's such a nice day, I thought we - well, I - could go for a walk we could and spend the day in the sunshine?" he suggested. "No one really comes round here, and there's plenty of forest around, so we wouldn't have to worry about being disturbed."

This was lovely landscape, and the thought of spending time in it was certainly appealing, so I readily agreed. As we set off, he moved his hand so that I was resting against his chest and he was holding me snugly in place. There was something about pockets that we both found weird, so he just took care to step carefully and hold me gently. The travel time gave me a few moments to think and decide that I was making the right decision to just forget about anything beyond friendship. I reconciled myself and looked forward to spending a nice day in nature with my favourite company.

He chose a quiet spot next to a rock face and sat down, leaning against the stone. He let me rest back in his hand.

"You don't mind if I hold you like this? It's easier than putting you down somewhere," he asked.

"No, it's fine - I'm comfortable here anyway," I replied.

"You're just not phased at anything about this, are you?" he said almost incredulously. "You know I was going out with someone when this first happened, and..."

I noticed his expression change when he mentioned this.

"Go on - if you want to, that is," I said, both wanting and not wanting to hear how this tale was going to pan out.

"Well, she went through the motions, I suppose. Came to visit when I first grew, I had to be kept in accommodation at the hospital and under observation, there wasn't much chance to talk properly. I mean, she said initially that it was ok, things would just work, but eventually once I got my place, when she visited she became really... strange. She wouldn't let me touch her, kept saying she needed time to get used to everything, then one day it all got too much. One day it all got too much, and I asked what was wrong and it all came out. I horrified her, she didn't want to spend the rest of her life with a... a freak. She walked out and I never heard from her again."

At that moment, my heart went out to him, but there was no way I could demonstrate it physically.

"The only freak in that scenario was her!" I exclaimed. "No one with a shred of humanity could be so cruel!"

"You're sweet," he said, smiling gently. He reached out and stroked my arm with a finger. I leaned my head against it.

"Nearest I can get to a hug," I explained and we both laughed.

A few hours passed until he got up and took us back to his house. We made food, ate together with me sat on the kitchen table, and returned to the sofa where he sat down, pulled over a cushion and sat me on it. It was more comfortable than sitting on the arm, and I nestled into its softness while he suggested we watch a movie.

It must have been the mix of fresh air, a dark room and my comfortable seat, but by the end, I had managed to doze off. I was flat out when he turned to ask me what I thought. I missed him smile softly to himself and take what had always been my favourite sweater of his and place it over me like a blanket. "Goodnight," he whispered as he turned off the light and went to his room.

[multifandomingmess]

The One That Got Away (Sonny Carisi x Daughter!Reader) Part 1/2

anonymous inquired:

Hii do you fanfics, imagines for SVU? If so can you do a Sonny x reader where you are his daughter and you try to kill yourself after being raped. The team finds out and hunts the rapist down. If you could make it middle length maybe? It’s ok if you can’t. If you can thank youuu

Trigger Warning(s): mentions of rape, description of rape, suicide attempt, self-harm, language, etc..

Reminder: Spoilers from recent episodes of SVU - so Carisi is ADA now. If you don't like spoilers, please watch/start on Season 22 beforehand. Thank you.

You could still feel the touch of him. How he threw you around like garbage. When you look down at your legs, you see reminders of him. That night was horrifying for you. However, you weren't surprised that you were targeted since you're the daughter of ADA Carisi.

Y/N Carisi - you were born on M/D/Y - having e/c eyes and h/c hair. Despite all that, you grew up near the SVU, so you knew the signs but you felt like you were stupid and deserved this. Like it was meant to happen. You haven't told anyone because you felt ashamed. You know (for a fact) that your dad will literally kill the guy - but you don't want him to risk his job for you.

(POV CHANGE - I/IM/ME/FIRST PERSON)

I came home from school and immediately went to my bedroom. My dad wasn't home yet so I just lay in my bed - and do what I've been doing. I just look at the wall and think. I think about the things I've done, the things I've wanted to do, the things I want to do, and the things that I wanted to do but was too scared to do so.

It's hard being an ADA's daughter because I've seen the threats he's gotten. People have cyberbullied me a lot, which isn't a surprise, but it's still not pleasant. Through my dad, I've felt unsafe because of threats I received - and some of the things that have been done to me.

A few weeks ago, I was raped after my dad won a case. The convicted man's family, who is apart of a mafia, seemed to convey hatred against him. I'm not sure if it's one of them that raped me but I just want to block it out. I want to forget it ever happened but it's not that easy. The past few days have been even harder because the thoughts have gotten worse. My dad knows I struggle with my mental health, in general, but he doesn't know why it's worsened lately. He doesn't know that I've started self-harming again.

It's hard to be alone with all these thoughts - because it's getting harder. I look at the belt nearby and place my hand against the leather. I just want this pain to be gone.

(HOURS LATER; 3RD PERSON POV)

Sonny finally arrived home. He had been trying to get a hold of Y/N but he had no luck. He opened the front door to a silent apartment. He was used to the silence but he felt a different feeling - like something was - like a gut instinct. He knew something was up.

He began to call Y/N's name, "Y/N! Are you home?" Silence. Just pure silence. He looked around the apartment and noticed her backpack on the kitchen counter - so she was home.

He went down the hallway and saw her bedroom door barely shut. He opened the door and he felt his stomach turn. Y/N was hanging from a belt. He rushed to her and unbuckled the belt carefully, so she would fall down, but he grabbed her in time. She placed her on the floor and felt for a pulse. It was weak but she had a pulse.

He took his phone out and dialed 911, before putting the speakerphone on and placing it on the ground. He immediately began chest compressions.

"911, what is your emergency?"

"This is ADA Sonny Carisi of Manhattan. I just came home to my daughter who attempted suicide. Please, send some paramedics and SVU here."

He continued the CPR, "Are there signs of sexual abuse?"

"I don't know but something isn't right. I'm doing CPR right now. Her pulse is weak. Please, hurry."

"Yes sir, just keep doing what you're doing. They're on their way."

Sonny continued to do the compressions, hoping she'd wake up, but she was still unconscious.

"Come on, baby..." He mumbled under his breath, as he continued the compressions.

Minutes went by and the paramedics arrived, along with SVU. They rushed into the house and Sonny stood by, as they began to take her vitals and placed her on a stretcher. Sonny felt like his whole world was turning upside down.

Olivia rushed in there, along with Amanda. "Sonny, what happened?"

"I came home to check on her because she wasn't answering her phone, so when I got here - something felt off and went to her room and found her like this..." He explained, trying to contain his emotions.

"Do you think she was raped?" Amanda questioned, causing Sonny to look down to the ground.

"I don't know but she hasn't been suicidal... I've been with her and something isn't right about this."

Olivia watched them take her out on the stretcher, noticing scratches on her arms, before sighing. Sonny was right. Something was wrong.

Hours had passed and Y/N awoke in a hospital bed, looking around to see her dad and some of his friends. "Dad?"

Sonny immediately rushed to his daughter's side and gave a kiss on her forehead. "How are you, sweetheart?"

She remembered what she did and regret filled her eyes. She placed her palms over her eyes and shook her head. "I'm so sorry, dad..."

"You have nothing to be sorry about, Y/N." Sonny assurred but she shook her head, throwing her hands down on the bed.

"I do, I really do, Dad." Y/N sobbed out, tears beginning to flow down her cheeks. Sonny looked at her and grabbed her hand, rubbing the back of her hand gently.

"Honey, why are you sorry?" She began to tug at the IV, trying to take it out. Machines began to beep uncontrollably, "You're safe, Y/N!"

"Dad, you're gonna kill me..." She yelled out in hysterics, nurses beginning to barge in.

"Sedate her!" One of the nurses shouted. Sonny was forced to get out of the room as he watched her fight off nurses.

"What happened to my babygirl?"

"Sonny..." Olivia began as she placed a hand on his back. "I think she's been raped or assaulted."

Sonny felt himself becoming numb and in shock. Olivia had it wrong, or did she? It would make a lot of sense, though. The huge question was why? Why would someone hurt his babygirl? That question ran through his mind.

Hours passed by and Sonny anxiously paced the halls of the hospital. Olivia had gone in there to talk with Y/N. Sonny knew he couldn't do it and just knew that she wouldn't talk to him about it. Not yet, at least.

"It's going to be okay, Carisi..." Amanda reassured, standing up after sitting in the chair for some time. "We will figure this all out but you need to sit down, you'll make yourself sick."

"I already feel sick and disgusted. I should've known something was off. I should've taken off work when her behavior started changing but I thought it was just teenage things. We've all gone through it..."

Amanda tightened her lips, biting the inside of her cheek. It was really unfortunate. The creak from the hospital room's door interrupted the two. Olivia came out with a clipboard, approaching Sonny at once. "I need you to sit down, Sonny..."

Sonny knew exactly what Olivia was going to say. Either way, nothing would stop the anger evolving inside of him. He didn't protect his daughter like he was always promised. He was already blaming himself.

"She was raped about a week ago. His identity is unknown but she said he had green eyes, black hair, pale skin, and dressed very neatly - but she mentioned that he said it was a warning for you..."

Sonny curled his eyebrows together, bringing eye contact with Olivia. He began to shook his head, grabbing the sides of his face, burying his face into his lap. "No..."

"She said he supposedly was a relative of a case you beat recently."

Carisi pounded his fist into his legs, screaming out, "Damn it!"

He jumped to his feet immediately, rushing toward the exit of the building, anger overcoming him.

"Sonny, you can't pursue this case!" Olivia yelled through the distance. "I have the authority to arrest you and I don't want to do that..."

He stopped in his tracks, turning to her. "You won't let me pursue this but you pursued your buddy Stabler's wife's case..."

"Excuse me?"

"If you can help your old partner out, then you can have my back on this... Either way, I have a feeling on who this is, and no one's stopping me - not even you."

With that, Carisi rushed out of the hospital building, leaving Olivia speechless. She looked at Amanda and audibly sighed.

Carisi got home and skimmed through each case file thoroughly, especially recent cases.

Brown v. Powell

New York State v. Senator Graham

Little v. Brewster

Jackson v. Gallagher

As he went past the Jackson v. Gallagher file, he pulled up the list of relatives for the Gallagher case (the opposing side). He saw Michael Gallagher. He was 35 and had all the features his daughter reportedly claimed. He clenched his hands into fists for a moment before hearing the doorbell ring. He snapped out of it and went to open the door.

In the pouring rain, Olivia stood there. Carisi found himself surprised but grateful.

"I'm sorry..." She gently apologized as she dug her hands into the pockets of her trenchcoat.

"We don't have time for that. I think I found a suspect..."

Olivia widened her eyes a bit as he led her to his office. He began to explain the case to her, which was complicated but expressed how one of the relatives had been sending threats since the trial completed. In which, we have Michael Gallagher.

"This is good... He looks just like the guy she described. This is a good sign, Sonny." Olivia admitted as she pulled out her phone. "I'm going to have them test Y/Ns DNA samples and possibly other DNA matches as soon as they can."

"Thank you, Liv."

She flashed a sly smile at him before she headed out. However, Sonny wouldn't be sleeping anytime soon, so the night would be interesting.

[suwya]

Till the Stars Had Run Away - Chapter 6

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Summary: Killian Jones was a voyager. Actually, he was many things, or at least he had been - a lieutenant, a brother, a loving boyfriend - until everything had turned upside down and his life had hit an all time low. So, he gave up. Aboard his spaceship he abandoned Arcadia, his planet, navigating the stars and other solar systems in search of... well, he still didn't know what he was searching for, but his rule was "never remain in the same place longer than necessary."

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Rating: M

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Prologue; Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 3, Chapter 4, Chapter 5

AO3

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A/N: Sorry for the waiting, but real life came along and I had to stop writing for a couple of weeks. Thank you @thisonesatellite for being the best beta reader I could ever ask for. And thank to all of you who are reading this. Happy Labour Day!

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Chapter 6 . .

Be not inhospitable to strangers,

lest they be angels in disguise.

(W. B. Yeats)

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When Killian regained consciousness he found himself in what reminded him of a military hospital. There were thin white curtains around his bed, but through them he could spot other beds like his, most of them empty. The room seemed large and dimly lit.

He closed his eyes and remembered the crash landing, the unknown desert planet, the great rock that was about to crush Henry, and that feeling of unease and imminent danger he had felt just before the impact. Where was he? And above all what kind of situation was he in, a good or a bad one? He opened his eyes again, and noticed he wasn’t alone. A woman was checking his IV, and a nearby monitor was beeping intermittently.

Killian tried to sit up, but a stabbing pain in his lungs made him desist immediately. He groaned loudly.

“Look who’s awake.” Said the woman, who was now staring at him. “Hello, handsome.” She added cheerfully.

Killian had found himself dealing with uncharted waters several times in his life. He decided to play the waiting game. “This is usually my line, well, more or less.”

“Really? In this case, I'll warn my husband not to approach you.”

“Don’t worry I'm not into men, not recently at least.” He smirked.

“Oh, but my husband is quite the charming one.”

“I still prefer the company of a fair lady, if I could choose.” He winked and chuckled, and a dull pain made him gasp.

“Take it easy.” She immediately shifted her attitude from playful to worried. “How do you feel?”

“As if I've been hit by a rocket.”

“Not a rocket, but yes, you’ve been hit hard. You’ve suffered two broken ribs. And believe me, you were lucky, it could have been worse. Do you mind if I run some tests and see how you react?”

“No problem.”

While the woman was busy measuring his temperature, making him follow a small blue LED light with his gaze, and extracting some blood to examine later, he took advantage of the opportunity to observe her more closely. She had short black hair and green eyes, bright and lively in contrast to her very delicate skin. Killian found himself thinking of another pair of green eyes, which had been filling his thoughts frequently lately. The memory brought him back to reality quickly.

“What is this place?” He inquired, eager to know what had happened while he was unconscious.

“Welcome to Vernal-Den.” She answered smiling.

Killian tried to remember if he had ever read about this planet. “Never heard of it.”

“Yeah, we’re not very popular.”

Was she too concentrated on checking-in his vitals, or was she being too concise on purpose? He didn’t know, but he intended to keep an eye on her. “How long was I out?”

“A while.” Another elusive answer.

He decided to test the waters. “Were there ….other injured people with me?”

“If you’re referring to Henry and Emma, they are perfectly fine.” She seemed sincere. “They are staying at our place. Henry has visited you every day since you came in.”

“And Emma?”

“Well, she can’t come in. She’s not a relative of yours. But she has spent long hours sitting just outside that door.” She said pointing towards the exit. “I had to order her to go home and get some rest.”

After that she excused herself, saying that she had to attend to other patients.

He realized she hadn’t even told him her name. He didn’t know if he could trust her or not. The fact that she had avoided some of his questions sent chills down his spine. And most of all there was the Emma problem.

Why couldn’t she visit him? Was it true that it was only a matter of rules? Or was she in some kind of peril? He needed to know what was happening behind those doors that separated him from the woman that had been pestering his dreams in the last ten years of his life. He had to know that she was alright. To hell with rules! He thought. And by the way, when was the last time he followed one. He had to get out of this place. He tried to sit up, but the pain in his lungs was so strong that his vision started to blur and cold sweat formed on his temples. He lay back down on the bed, aware that in his conditions he couldn’t have gone far before collapsing unconscious on the floor. He promised himself to solve the problem as soon as he had enough strengths, but he couldn't dwell too much on that thought, because sleep was reclaiming his mind again.

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~·~·~·~

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Time passed very slowly, or so it seemed, but maybe it was simply the fact that every day looked the same. Killian was mostly asleep, probably due to the painkillers introduced through the IV, and when he woke up he couldn't tell how long he had been out, he couldn't even tell if it was day or night. There were no windows in that room.

During one of the moments when his mind regained consciousness, he felt the mattress drop slightly to one side and he slowly opened his eyes.

“You are awake! How do you feel? Can you breathe? Of course you can, you would be dead otherwise! Does it hurt?” Henry was sitting at the end of the bed, and he was asking a lot of questions, as usual. “Sorry.” He suddenly looked contrite. “I should let you rest, but…”

“It’s ok, lad.” Killian cut him off. “I’m glad to see you’re all in one piece.”

The boy greeted him with a wide grin.

Killian remembered the last moments before getting injured, and he was relieved to know that he had been able to prevent that rock from hitting Henry. But other worries crowded his mind. “How about your mom?”

“She’s fine. She’s outside. They won’t let her in. You know, only relatives and all that stuff.” He explained.

“I see. And why are you…?”

Henry didn’t let him finish the question. “I told them I’m your son.” He whispered with a conspiratory smile.

“Clever boy.” Killian’s chuckle turned soon into a cough due to the pain.

“Does it hurt?” The boy asked, frowning.

The man dismissed the question with a wave of his hand. “It’s not a big deal.” He didn’t want the lad to feel responsible for his well-being. “How many days have passed since we landed here?” He asked, changing the subject.

“I don't know exactly.” And at Killian’s questioning look, he added, “It’s complicated.”

“How so?”

“People live underground here,” The boy started to explain, “With no opportunity to look outside. And there are no clocks. My watch had probably broken when we arrived, it doesn’t work anymore.”

The man hummed, he was starting to understand. The lack of windows, the elusive answer he had received from the dark-haired nurse… everything was beginning to tally in Killian’s head. “I want you to think carefully about everything you saw outside this room. Did you feel something was wrong?”

The boy shrugged. “I don't know.” He seemed to ponder. “This place is strange. Lots of corridors and passages underground. We are not allowed to go out into the open. They say it’s dangerous. But I never felt a threat or something. I would rather say it’s boring.”

“Why boring?”

Henry was trying to find the right words to explain it. “All the days are the same, people repeat the same actions every day. They say it’s useful to maintain a routine. But I don’t think Mary Margaret and David are bad people.”

“I’m sorry, who?” Killian asked.

“Oh, yeah, Mary Margaret, she is your nurse. We’re staying at her home. She is very nice. And David is her husband. He showed me the greenhouse. It’s awesome and huge, you should see it! But I don’t think he works there. I don’t know what his job is.”

Routine? New people? A greenhouse? Well, that was a lot of information to process. But Killian felt sleep calling him back. Next time I see that lady Margaret, I’m going to ask her not to put more painkillers in my IV. He thought. “Thank you, Henry, for everything. But I may need to rest for a while now.” He managed to say before falling asleep again.

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~·~·~·~

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Emma knew Killian was feeling better, Henry had told her about their short chat, and some of her child's enthusiasm had even infected her positively, but she continued to feel restless, she wanted to make herself useful. Most of all, she wanted to see Killian again.

All this absurd situation was her fault. And no, she was not thinking about the fact that Killian was lying on a hospital bed because of some bad decisions she had made lately. No. She was not going down that path again. She had already spent a lot of hours regretting many choices done in the last month.

But this was nonsensical, why couldn’t she visit a friend that was hurt and maybe in need of some company? She had actually had a chance to say that she was his wife; after all in the eyes of her guests, she and Killian had a son together, so why not lie a bit more and make Mary Margaret believe that she and Killian were married. But the thought of a possible long time spent together on this planet feigning to be a happily married couple scared her, and she couldn’t go on with the lie.

So there she was, sitting on a very uncomfortable metal chair in the waiting room. She had spent more hours there than she could count.

David had passed by to greet his wife, and he had offered to take Henry with him, on the way back home. So she was left alone with her thoughts.

Mary Margaret peeked out the door with a steaming mug in her hand. “Take this. It will help.”

She agreed with a nod. “Thank you.” She sipped some of the hot liquid and it felt like her nerves were starting to relax a little.

“You should go home and rest. It's late.” The woman said.

“Mary Margaret let me enter.” Emma pleaded for the umpteenth time.

“We have already talked about it. You know I can’t do that. There are strict rules down here, and the best way for us to survive is to follow them.”

“This is insane. I’m not a dangerous criminal or someone who is plotting to destroy this planet. I just want to see him. Please.” She begged.

The dark-haired woman seemed to be pondering all the possible consequences. “All right.” She sighed. “Let’s just say that I’m going inside and leave the door ajar, by mistake, of course. I have to check some very important documents, so I’ll be busy and concentrated. I’m not going to ask you what you’re going to do in the next... fifteen minutes or so. Okay?”

“Thank you.” Emma handed her the cup back, rising from her chair. “You won’t regret it.”

After Mary Margaret disappeared behind the door, Emma waited some minutes before going after her. The room was large and there were many beds, she had no idea where Killian was, but after a quick look at the surroundings, she discovered that only a couple of all the beds were occupied.

She approached one of those and gently opened the curtain trying not to disturb the patient lying inside.

Killian seemed asleep. He was pale, with dark circles under his eyes. She could only imagine the pain he was going through. She had her heart in her throat because she felt responsible for the situation. If they hadn't taken a detour because she had requested it, they'd probably all be home safe and sound by now.

“Hey, beautiful.” He greeted her with a painful grin.

Immersed as she was in her thoughts, she hadn't noticed that he had woken up. She smiled, trying to be strong and not show her inner turmoil. “Do they treat you well here?”

“I'm not complaining. The nurse is kind and the food is edible.” He tried to downplay the situation. “Although I would prefer the care and attention of a certain blonde.” He winked.

Emma chuckled. Then she went closer to him and sat down on the side of his bed, trying not to cause him any more pain. She looked him straight in the eye, and then, gently, she took his hand in hers, intertwining her fingers with his. She saw him swallow hard, and the beeping of his heartbeat accelerated on the monitor. She smiled softly again. “Thank you for saving my son’s life.”

She saw how he wet his lips before answering as if his mouth had been suddenly dry. “It was the right thing to do.” Was his answer, but his voice came out slightly choked.

Emma looked back, checking if any hospital employee was nearby, “I shouldn’t be here, and unfortunately my time is running out. But I wanted to see you... needed to see with my own eyes that you are ok... well, more or less.” She whispered, with her gaze lowered, avoiding eye contact. The physical connection of their joined hands was already arousing too many contradictory emotions inside her.

“Aye. I know the feeling.” He replied, letting her know that he had been eager to establish contact with her throughout his stay in the hospital.

At those words, she stared at him again. “Get well soon.” She bent down and dropped a mild kiss at the corner of his lips. “We need you.”

.

.

~·~·~·~

.

.

Killian was lying on his back staring at the ceiling. This time there was no way he would fall asleep again. Every time he thought about what had just happened his beeping monitor sped up. He blushed. It had been just a chaste kiss, nothing compared to the hot and breathtaking one they had shared a few days before. But she had said it had been a one-time thing and he had promised himself not to indulge in those lustful thoughts anymore. Yet, this last kiss had seemed much more real, and meaningful... it had left him with a feeling of hope.

Hope and distress. Emma was such a strong and beautiful woman, a marvelous creature, as he liked to describe her in his mind, and a princess even. And what was he? A rebel, and a scoundrel. Or a rapscallion... whatever. Okay, maybe not anymore, but he had been in the past, for many years. He had been trying to redeem himself lately. But was he worth enough of her? That was the million dollar question.

He was still ruminating on it when the known brunette peeked out the curtains. “Hello. How are you today?” She greeted him with a bright smile, as usual.

“Better.” He hoped the monitor on his right wasn’t showing his state of mind.

She came closer. “Do you mind if I check your ribs? It's time to change the dressing.” After a short pause, she added, “I'm sorry, but we don't have the best equipment to assist our patients. We have to work with what we have available on this planet.” She said pointing to the bands that covered his chest.

Killian nodded, and Mary Margaret started to untie the bandages. She seemed concentrated on her task, probably she was trying to avoid causing him any pain. It was only when she started to apply an ointment on the bruises, that she spoke again. “You love her.” It was just a whisper, and Killian doubted if he had heard correctly. But then she added “Emma.”

It wasn’t a question, and he pondered what was the correct answer, or if she was expecting one. “I'd go to the end of the world for her… Or the multiverse.” He said eventually.

“And she for you, I take it?”

Killian chuckled and shook his head. “I don’t know.”

“What’s the problem?” She looked at him surprised. Then took some clean gauzes and started to wrap them on him.

“She's bloody brilliant, an amazing woman. She fights for her son and always does what’s right.” Killian’s voice was so full of admiration.

“Is there something wrong with it?” Mary Margaret inquired.

Killian shook his head again. “She raised the bar very high. The fact is, I don't think I measure up.”

The woman folded the old bandages and took the ointment bottle, then she stood up, she was making an exit when she stopped short. “Since you came here I've been watching you.”

“I don't know if I should be flattered or scared.” The man tried to ease the tension of the moment.

“We don’t have many foreigners on this planet, but believe me, you're not one of the bad guys. You sacrificed yourself for the sake of a young boy. There's good in your heart.” She smiled at him softly. “I’m going to look for the doctor; I bet you’ll be leaving this room soon.”

.

.

~·~·~·~

.

.

The following day started the same as the previous ones. But during the first hours of the evening a man in a white coat came to visit Killian. He explained the medications and precautions to be taken to him, some movements that he should avoid for a while, and other tips for a speedy recovery. Then he handed over some papers for the patient to sign to be discharged. Finally some good news.

After a while redressing and packing up his few belongings in his satchel Killian went to the door. Walking hurt a bit but nothing he couldn’t bear.

Mary Margaret was already waiting for him, and a tall blonde guy was with her. “You must be Jones.” He said. When they shook hands, Killian learned his name was David Nolan, and he remembered Henry had mentioned him in his conversations. “I’m going to take you to our humble abode.”

Nolan's house was in fact modest. A loft with a large dining room, a kitchenette, a bedroom, and a small bathroom on one corner, all open, without doors, except for the bathroom. There was a raised bedroom opposite it, whose access was a metal stair.

Dinner was good, if a little awkward. Emma didn't interact much, and Killian wanted to ask if something was troubling her, but he preferred to wait for a better time, perhaps a less crowded one. Henry entertained them with what he had done throughout the day and kept repeating how glad he was that Killian was back with them.

But the man was still a bit cautious with those new people around him. He didn’t know them, especially the Nolan guy, who had been silent for most of the dinner, glancing sidelong at him as if he wanted to study him thoroughly before making a personal judgment. The feeling was mutual, Killian thought.

Just after dessert, David started to speak. “What will you need to restore your ship?” He asked.

“Uh… a new stabilizer, I think, and some parts of the propulsion engine for sure. But I’ll have to look closely at the damages to be sure there’s nothing else broken.”

The blond man nodded. “Not many ships come and go from here. But I hope we can find all the pieces you need.”

“Thank you, mate.”

“Tomorrow I’ll take you to the hangar where your ship is. We’ll have a look at it.” He seemed sincere in his generosity.

“May I help?” Henry barged in.

A chorus of “No!” echoed the room.

“I appreciate the support, but it could be dangerous.” Killian explained.

“I hate being here. I feel trapped.” The boy complained.

Mary Margaret sighed. “This is a feeling that will vanish with time.”

The woman was no doubt trying to instill some optimism, but Killian didn't like the idea of staying in that place longer than necessary. “Well, then, let’s hope we could leave this planet before the feeling has entirely vanished.” He made a grin and passed his hand on his side.

“Time for resting.” The brunette stated although it sounded more like an order. “But before that, we should change those bandages. Emma, would you like to help me?”

“Me?” Emma, who had been silent and a bit on the sidelines all evening, seemed to re-emerge from wherever she’d gone.

“He won’t be able to do it by himself when you won’t live here anymore. It’s better if you learn how to help him.” Mary Margaret clarified.

Emma looked like she was going to object, but in the end, she asserted. “Sure.”

.

.

~·~·~·~

.

.

If a certain nervousness had taken hold of Emma as she climbed to the upstairs room, it disappeared the instant Mary Margaret helped Killian get rid of his shirt. That wasn’t a thorax, it was a nautical chart. Most of it was covered by gauze, but she could still spot many marks and scars.

There was a tattoo, two of them to be exact, but Emma saw just one at first. It was on his right forearm; it was a big red heart with a dagger running through and the name “Milah” across it. Emma made a mental note to ask him later who she was.

Mary Margaret showed her how to unfasten the bandages, and then she ordered her to stand behind him, to help better in removing them all.

On his back, Emma saw the second tattoo, on his right shoulder. It was an old nautical instrument she had read about in a book when she was younger, but she couldn’t remember the exact name. The drawing was beautifully detailed, even if it had faded, it was probably older than the other one, she thought.

And when all the gauze was out of the way, she saw them: tiny, blurred, old scars that studded most of his back. Emma wondered what kind of life he had to endure when he was very young.

Mary Margaret asked her to help with the ointment. She had already opened the bottle and was showing the blonde woman how much cream to use. But Emma wasn't listening, standing now in front of the man, her attention was caught by the glorious chest hair that was covering most of his torso.

Okay, there was also a big, horrible bruise on his right ribs, but Mary Margaret was saying that it seemed on the way to a fast recovery, if the yellow and purple veining was some indication.

Emma was ogling and she wasn’t ashamed of it either. The amount of hair decreased in the lower part of his chest, leaving a black trail that disappeared under the hem of his pants.

"See something you like?" Emma was abruptly taken back to reality by a smug Killian that was smirking at her while arching an eyebrow. She blushed. She was caught red-handed, but she couldn’t let him win. She took advantage of the fact that Mary Margaret was looking for something in a nearby drawer, to get closer to him. She looked at him lasciviously from under her lashes. “Maybe?” She purred.

Now it was his time to blush, he looked intently at his feet, but she found the bright red that appeared on his ears extremely endearing. Point for Emma.

Mary Margaret taught the other woman how to fix the bandages, and Emma had to use some tiny hooks to hold them together. She did not miss the opportunity to casually slide her fingers over a part of his chest hair that came out of the bandages.

“Bloody Hell!” Killian muttered.

Emma retreated her hand immediately. “Sorry. Did I hurt you?” Worries that she had done something wrong clouded her gaze.

“Apologies.” Killian was scratching behind his ear, in evident embarrassment. “While I do enjoy two lovely ladies attending to my needs, I'm not used to someone taking care of me…” He smiled and brought his mouth close to Emma’s ear: “I’m usually the one who devotes full attention to a woman’s needs.” He whispered, but clearly not as quietly as he would have liked, because Mary Margaret's answer - “Well, you will have to put that off for a while” - made him blush again like a schoolboy scolded by his teacher.

.

.

~·~·~·~

.

.

Suddenly it was bedtime. Everyone was busy making preparations and taking shifts for the bathroom to change for the night. Killian was upstairs, staring at the bed he knew he had to share with Emma, who was arranging a pillow on the nearby sofa. He passed a hand through his hair and then scratched a spot behind his right ear. “I'll crash on that couch.” He stated as if it was the most logical conclusion to a battle he was fighting inside.

“Don't be ridiculous,” she scoffed. “It's barely long enough for Henry. Plus, you’re still recovering, you absolutely need to rest.”

He didn't seem very convinced. “Emma, I'm not sure this is a good idea.”

“And why is that?” Was her exasperated reply, turning towards him with her hands on her hips. “What are you going to do? Seduce me with a couple of broken ribs and a ten-year-old boy sleeping next to us?”

He lifted his arms and surrendered. “Fair point.” He conceded.

In no time they were all ready for the night and Henry was snoring softly on the sofa. Killian was supine, staring at the ceiling and thinking about the events of the day. In any case, sleep had no intention of coming, but he tried not to move. He didn’t want to wake up his roommates. Emma was lying close with her back to him and he didn’t know if she was already in the arms of Morpheus.

He turned his head to observe how her upper body moved with the rhythm of her breathing, blond curls covering her shoulders. Killian had to repress the urge to touch them. And as if responding to his call, she stirred and turned to face him.

Her eyes opened lazily. “Still awake?” She murmured.

“I have the feeling that I’ve slept enough for the rest of my life.” He whispered. “But you can’t rest either, I see.”

She didn’t answer.

Perhaps it was the closeness, perhaps it was the fact that they had spent the last few days apart. Killian didn't know how he found the courage, but he lifted his left arm as an invitation. “Come here,” he said.

She seemed to ponder the situation, chewing her bottom lip. “I don’t want to hurt you.”

He decided not to think about all the possible implications of that sentence. He was falling in love with her, he was aware of it. Probably the simple doubt that she might not reciprocate was already hurting him, but he knew that at that moment she was referring only to his physical bruises. “You won’t.”

She slipped under the sheets towards him, resting her head gently on his left shoulder and placing a hand on his chest, avoiding the bruised part. Not many minutes passed before her lids grew heavy and she dozed off to the rhythm of his heartbeats. Killian placed a soft kiss on her forehead.

[qweeby]

Nine Lives To Short Part 2: A Hero Confronts the Hypothetical

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡💔💔

Paring: Hitoshi x Reader

Genre: Angst

Tag @foxypuppy

Plot: You only have 9 days to tell him how you feel....but maybe 9 days just isn't enough

"Please be ok please be ok!" that plea kept replaying in the mind of Histoshi Shinsou as he is sitting in the waiting room of the hospital.

He thinks about your soft touch, your sweet voice and your unforgettable laugh as tears stream down his eyes his voice breaking "please be ok....please..."

The entire room is quiet....tap tap tap tap is the only thing that can be heard and its coming from Shinsou as his left leg is violent shaking.

"Shinsou....?"

The entrance to the waiting room opens it's Kaminari and Mr. Aizawa, Denki rushes to Shinsou then begins to pat him down, patting his face and chest "YOU'RE OK RIGHT NOTHING IS BROKEN RIGHT!"

Shinsou brushes Kaminari off, " I'm fine it's not me you should me worried about....it's y/n she's the one in real pain".

Aizawa puts his hand ontop of Shinsou head rubbing his hair making it messy. "Yeah but that doesn't mean you aren't hurting to kid... it's ok to cry it won't make you any less of a hero.

Shinsou looks down " I just need to see her".

Kaminari sits next to Shinsou asking "How long have you been here, Hitoshi?

"About 5 an hours, after I ran Y/n to her parents and they called the ambulance, we came here and the doctor said that the parents can come with them but friends and other relatives were to stay here".

Suddenly Hitoshi sees your parents walking down are walking down the hall he jumps up quickly and makes his way towards them in a panic.

" Is y/n ok! What happened to her! C-can I see her please!" Hitoshi is frantically blurting out all of the questions that been on his mind of the pass 5 hours until your dad stops him.

"Woah woah calm down there Hitoshi, Y/n is fine she just need rest we actually came out here so we can take you home".

Shinsou tenses up shocked that after all that waiting he's just going home with seeing you.

He was not gonna let that happen.

" Home?...... HOME! THERE NO WAY IM GOING BACK HOME AND I DONT HAVE A CHANCE TO SEE IF Y/N IS DOING OK! I-....I have to see for myself.

Aizawa steps up, " Last time I checked Recovery girl was sent here to help Y/n with her injuries so she should be up"

Kaminari holds up his hand trying to put his two cents in " Plus he's been waiting 5 whole hours".

Your mom hangs her head "Yes that is true but....y/n is gonna need more than just kiss to feel better".

Your father begins to sweat as Shinsou glares him with anger in his eyes, everyone in the room begins the feel Shinsou's uneasiness.

"Let me ask you a question sir".

Your father gulps "Yes, Hitoshi?".

His pupils begin to dilate as Shinsou uses his quirk and asks the question " What's happening with your daughter".

Kaminari quickly grabs Shinsou pulling him back, " Dude! Are you crazy you can go around using your quirk on people!".

" IM NOT GONNA STAND HERE WHY THEY LEAVE ME IN THE DARK! I NEED ANSWERS!"

" Y/n's quirk....is hurting her shmmh-" before your dad can finish his sentence Aizawa stares at Shinsou erasing his quirk while simultaneously your mom covers your dad's mouth.

" Hitoshi! Control yourself Now"

Hitoshi shoves Kaminari back as her runs pass the three adults to y/n's room.

" Wait Toshi! You...don't even know where her room is...".

Aizawa sighs " Leave him Kaminari, right now I'm gonna need you to step outside" he angrily glares at your mother and father "I need to a meeting with some parents".

.

.

.

Meanwhile Hitoshi is running though the hallway is he searching for your room " Where is it..HA! Found it!.

Hitoshi kicks open your the hospital door.

" Y/N!" You jump and scream " AHHHH! What the HELL HITOSHI YOU CAN'T DO THAT WHAT IF YOU BROKE IT".

Right now all Shinsou wants to do is to hug you and hold you and never let you go but...

He just stands there and yells.

"You're such a God Damn lair!"

"...who told you-".

" APPARENTLY NOT YOU! WHEN THE HELL DID YOU GET S QUIRK FROM! HOW LONG HAS IT BEEN HURTING YOU?!"

You sit up and take a beep breath, "My quirk developed last week I didn't know how I was gonna tell you".

" LAST WEEK!? THEN THAT MEANS.....t-that means..."

-Hitoshi thinks back to last week after school when he was training with Aizawa-

" Hey Mr. Aizawa Hey hey" you eagerly jump around the tired teacher circling him. " What is it now kid?"

" Can you use your quirk on me?"

Shinsou spits out his water " ppppfffft why would he do that it literally won't do anything".

You turn to Shinsou pouting " yeahh but sero says when that when you get you quirk erase it's like your soul leaves you body".

Shinsou squints his eyes at you " I think Sero was high when he told you that".

Aizawa rubs his eyes and grunts.

"Ugh! Fine come here kid but after this I don't wanna hear anything come out of you mouth until we are done training".

You nod while standing still as Mr. Aizawa uses his quirk on you but no it looks like nothing happened.

Hitoshi chuckles " See told you it would work" he looks at you and see the look of utter disappointment and defeat. " What's with the face cat?"

" I was just really hoping that something....anything would happen but...oh well".

You smack you face as you give Shinsou a big thumbs up " You gotta ge back to training-mmmpfh-!"

Aizawa wraps you up his his cloth like a mummy and gives you to Present Mic

"Here Hizashi here hold the kid"

" YOU GOT IT SHO!"

Shinsou could help but laugh at the whole situation while you freak out the Mic's arms.

-He then thinks about how you acting at lunch during that same day-

" Hey Y/n you not gonna eat?" Kaminari askes while shoving fish sticks in his mouth.

"Oh umm I'm not really hungry"

"You aren't? But I haven't seen you eat anything all day are you sure?"

"Yeah Hitoshi I'm ok".

Bakugo the reaches across the table to get in your face " HUHHH THE LITTLE KITTY DOSEN'T WANNA EATTTT? I BET IF CAT BOY OVER HERE FED YOU, YOU WOULD EAT IT ALL UP!"

You and Bakugo clash foreheads.

" SHUT UP YOU FERAL POMERANIAN"

"GRRRR....THE FUCK YOU JUST CALL ME YOU QUIRKLESS LOSER!".

Kirishima walks to the table smiling simultaneously as he sits down saying "Man it looks like it's raining cats and dogs over here".

" SHUT YOUR TRAP YOU POINTY TEETH DIMWIT!" You Bakugo scream at Kirishima at the same time then go back to arguing with each other " STOP COPYING ME!".

Shinsou watches as you don't eat anything but shrugs it off as you going on a diet.

Hitoshi falls to his knees shaking, his voice breaking.

" THAT FUCKING QUESTION WASN'T JUST A HYPOTHETICAL WAS IT!"

You get off your bed as you sit in front of him, "No it wasn't ".

"I so fucking stupid Y/n..."

You slow reach your hand to grab Hitoshi "No...don't say that..."

"But it's true! Can't you see!

Shinsou raises his head looking at you his eyes bloodshot red, see him like that startled you , so you back up but then hes says something that made you hate yourself.

"....How can I ever be a hero if I can't even save one person...I'm so weak"

Tears begin to fall down your eyes seeing your best crumble apart by your actions, you jump into Shinsou's arms crying repeatedly saying " I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry".

You feel bad for Shinsou as he may have come across one of the most hardiest trail of being a hero.

How can a hero save someone that doesn't wanna be saved....

You and Hitoshi press forehead's and stare at one other but then...you look at Hitoshi but his face begin so switch between blurry and not until everything is completely blurry in your left eye.

"S-shinsou..."

He sniffs and rubs his nose, " Yeah y/n".

"I....I can't see"....

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡💔💔

Y/n has lost her 2nd life as another day draws near. Jow can Shinsou save the unsaveable? Will y/n ever confess in time and end her suffering.....will y/n's eye sight be the only thing she loses?.... 9 days won't be enough

[dorotheajanegilmore]

Closer to you - Chris Evans

CHAPTER ONE

Throwing my small brown faux leather bag over my shoulder, I raced down the cold metal staircase at the back of my apartment building. The elevator had broken down throwing a wrench into the works of my morning and now I was breaking a sweat to get myself back on track.

Finally the rusted blue door of an exit was in site. Just outside were the freezing cold streets of Manhattan.

My palms met the blue metal and my arms pushed until my elbows were flat. The door pushed through the snow leaving a semi-circle of wet pavement exposed beneath. 

I ran through the frosty street, passing a few strangers. As I came to the end of the street where the quiet road merged with the busy road, a familiar white Toyota came purring around the corner. 

My best friend Holly pulled up at the girl and she leaned across the pull the hand. "Quickly, get in!" She yelled as I hurried across the icy road.

I practically threw myself into the passenger seat and as soon as my door closed Holly sped off. "Let's go girls." 

I looked back at my friends in the back seat. "Morning."

Teegan gave a small wave and Chloe nodded, both of them struggling to keep their eyes open.

I let out a sigh as I took my phone out of my bag, knowing I would have a series of unanswered messages from my mother. "Listen to this." I started, glancing at my friends to get their attention. "Good morning sweetie, have you left yet? Lessi ? You awake? Darling? Have you left the city yet? Where are you? Do you want me to send dad to come and get you? Are you even awake? Oh child of mine do you see the morning light? Hurry up and get here before dinner gets cold. Granddads not getting any younger." My friends were sent into fits of laughter at my mother's lunacy.

“Your mother is the greatest." Teegan mumbled, nearly asleep.

"Agreed. Tracey's the queen of sarcasm." Holly added as she drove onto the highway.

We had a twenty minute bout of silence as we all broke free from the morning anger, apart from Holly who seemed to be too chill for someone with dangerous road rage.

We stopped at McDonald's for some breakfast before hitting the road again. About fifteen minutes into the resumes drive Holly glances at me. "So, does your Mom know about Simon?"

"Alvin And Theodore? Yeah she knows the chipmunks." I bite my lip and look out the window, trying to dodge the question and giving my answer.

Holly rolled her eyes, there was no way she was letting this go. She briefly lifted her hand from the gear stick to hit me on the knee. "Answer me."

"Yeah she knows." I mumbled quietly, just loud enough for my girls to hear. Even though we were secure in the four walls of Holly's car, I still felt like I should be secretive about the subject of Simon.

Simon Holdsworth was my boyfriend for four years before dumping me. Me! After I found him cheating on me in MY bed with some NYU art student who stole my jewellery and the batteries from my tv remote. Ok maybe she didn't take my batteries but I have no other explanation for that so she's getting the blame.

"His mother called my mom and yelled at her because I was a apparently a bitch to Simon. She said I didn't allow him creative freedom to express himself with other women." I rolled my eyes and cursed under my breath.

"Hippies." Chloe shook her head as she picked her nails, remembering when she first met Simon's mother. When Simon first moved in with me we had a house warming party on the roof of our apartment building. Simon's mother, Nora, brought two bags of weed and brownies and set up camp in my living room. Nora also brought various scarfs and blankets that she draped over my living. She also replaced the coasters that my mother bought me for ounces made from tree bark that had been carved into peace signs. Chloe threw them in her log burner as soon as Simon moved out.

"What did Tracey say?" Teegan asked. All of my friend were on first name basis with the fantastic woman that birthed me. Not only were we best friends, we were raised together. We were all born in the same hospital, in the same city. We were raised in the same town, same schools, same university. Plus Teegan is my second cousin so.

"She laughed, told her to piss off and put the phone down."

"Yes Tracey." They all cheered her on.

"It's a pity you can't do the same thing." Holly replied with a serious tone, raising a brow at me.

"Hey, you know I'm strong-willed when it comes to people screwing me over. I just like to argue with him, he tried to get to me. He purposely likes to call and harass to upset me, he wants me to break. He would love nothing more than to see me cry. But he won't win, he won't." I shook my head, feeling the anger curse through me again. "He thrives on hurting people. But he won't hurt me, I won't let him."

"Good on you." Chloe nodded, putting a supportive hand on my shoulder.

Holly nodded in approval. "That's our girl."

\|\|\|\|\

It took three hours and forty minutes to get form Manhattan to the little town of Fairfield, Massachusetts. Soon enough we were surrounded by familiar buildings that had now been covered in a blanket of snow and driving through streets we used to run drunkenly through as we disobeyed our parents (and the law.)

First Holly dropped Chloe to her folks house, then Teegan to hers and finally I was looking at my parents house. I looked back at Holly with a puppy dog look and asked "Can I come to your house for thanksgiving?"

"Of course you can." Holly out a sympathetic hand on my shoulder. "Next year." She then have me a playful shove and I opened the door.

"Thanks for the lift. See you later yeah?" I asked, knowing I'd be needing a drink after an hour with this crazy lot.

"Sure, I'll text you." She nodded.

I grabbed my suitcase from the trunk and headed to the pavement. I gave Holly a wave and she watched me walk up to the driveway. She waited until I knocked and somebody answered before she drove away, always one for safety.

My little brother Alex opened the door. "Shit, when did you get so tall?" I cursed looking up at the nineteen year old.

He chuckled deeply and stepped back for me to go in. "You mean since I saw you two years ago? Yes I've grown. When did you get so short?"

"It's all the coffee." I shrugged as I left my suitcase in the downstairs cupboard and headed into the living room, at least I thought it was the living room. It was in the same place and it was the same shape, however it was all so different.

The red poppy wallpaper above the grey stone fireplace had been taken down and replaced with a cream paper with turquoise flowers, it also had an overspray if light silver glitter that matched the silver chandelier and doorhandles. The normally dark doors had been replaced with white ones and the rest of the walls painted white as well. My sweet childhood cottage had been replaced with a modern townhouse.

The burgundy couches had been replaced with chocolate colours leather and my dad's favourite recliner was nowhere is sight.

Moving further throughout the house i couldn't see any of my relatives. I looked back at Alex and asked "So, where is everyone?"

"Dad's in the garage working on the car and Mom, Nana and Lucy are in the garden with Joe and Leo." I nodded and walked through the kitchen to get to the back door.

I stopped in my tracks when I saw that there was now an orangery that had been extended into the back of our house, I glanced back at Alex to see him shrug at me.

He stepped around me and walked through the orangery into the open backyard. I followed slowly, taking in the new changes. I quickly glanced back at the kitchen. Huh, no changes their. The grey slate and white marble must've been modern enough for Mom.

I stepped out into the yard to see my mother, sister and grandmother gathered at the fence talking to our neighbours. Joe and Leo were over at the trampoline, at least there was one piece of my childhood left.

Leo gave me a wave and I waved back, this must've caught my nephew's attention as he stopped jumping, letting gravity drop him on his ass so he could jump from the trampoline and sprint across the yard.

As he ran at me I saw him lift his arms and I knew exactly what he was gonna do. He jumped as high as he could, I reached forward and caught him at the torso and he wrapped his arms around my neck.

"Auntie Alessia!" He yelled as he hugged me tightly. His shouting caused my family to turn their attention to me. I hugged Joe back before setting him down on the soft grass and kneeling down to talk to him.

"Hi bud! How are you?" I asked as I held his hand.

He beamed brightly and showed me his teeth. One of his front teeth had fallen out. "Look, I'm a big boy now." He pointed excitedly at his mouth.

"Wow!"

"My mommy said that if I put my tooth under my pillow the tooth fairy will come and she will take it and leave me a dollar! A whole dollar!"

"Well let's not encourage selling our body parts. Here." I reached into my back pocket and took out my change from earlier. "Here's five bucks, give your tooth to your dad."

He nodded and looked at me like I was crazy. "Thank you auntie Lessia!" He hugged me again before running back to Leo and the trampoline.

I stood up and headed over to my mother. As I approached the fence I saw she was talking to a woman I had never seen before. Where's Cheryl? I wondered.

"Oh Alessia, darling. Come meet our new neighbours." My mother wrapped her hand around my arm and practically yanked me over to the fence.

"Hi." I waved politely to the kind woman staring back at me with a warm smile.

"Hello there, Alessia. My name's Lisa. You're mother ya spoken so highly of you, it's so nice to put a face to the name." She said sweetly.

"It's nice to meet you too. Are you new to the area?" I inquired, wondering where our old neighbours had got too.

"Oh gosh no. We moved a few blocks away as my mother passed recently and she left us the house."

"Cheryl? Oh god I'm so sorry. She was the nicest woman, salt of the earth. I'm sorry for your loss." I felt real sadness as I spoke, not believing that sweet old Cheryl had passed on.

"You knew my grandmother?" A deep male voice said from my left. I looked in the direction of the person speaking and nearly had to do a double take. Standing beside Lisa was a very handsome brunette man with striking blue eyes and full beard. He was about 6 foot tall, with muscles and wide shoulders. He was wearing a deep maroon tight long sleeve and navy patriots cap.

"Hi." I breathed out, staring at this specimen in disbelief. How can one person be so unbelievably attractive? "Yes I did. Uh, I grew up doing chores for her. I kept her company on Wednesday's when Arthur would be at darts. She taught me how to bake and knit." I giggled lightly at the memories.

The man gave me a soft smile while Lisa smiled at me. "I'm sure she loved every minute of your company." Lisa nodded at me. "She actually left me a box of things labelled with your name. I'll have to have Chris dig it out and bring it over to you sometime."

"That would be lovely, thank you." I smiled, wondering how I had missed so much.

I could feel her son's eyes on me as I stepped down from the gathering or grass to allow my mom to finish her conversation.

"Hey." My sister Lucy said as she wrapped her arms around me to give me a hug. "I've missed you sister sister."

"Missed you too." I mumbled into her shoulder as she crushed me. She pulled back and placed a hand on her stomach before putting her pinger finger to her lips.

"It's a secret." She whispered and I nodded with wide eyes. Shit. She's pregnant again.

"Congratulations!" I whisper yelled at her and she widened her eyes at me and looked back at my mom and grandmother to see if they noticed. They hadn't, they were busy gossiping with Lisa.

Chapter two

[la-appel-du-vide]

06•14•19

After the cookie class, Kena and I went to grab some food. She took me to HuHot, which is one of her favorite Mongolian places. We started eating, and the food was actually really good! And that's when I got the scariest phone call of my life.

Whitnie was calling, and when I answered, I first thought that she was laughing. Everything that she was saying was incoherent, and I told her she needed to speak more clearly. That's when I realized she was not laughing, but actually crying. Basically all that I could make out from the conversation with her is, "Dad's hurt. Mom's crying. You need to come home."

From there, it's a bit of a blur. I remember trying to ask her what happened to Dad, but she had no information for me other than it was serious and my mom needed me home. We rushed out the restaurant and Kena drove me to my house to meet the family. I knew that Dad had been up at a Fathers and Sons camp-out for the stake, so my mind was racing wondering what could have happened. 

When I got home, there were a few visitors and mom was still on the phone. I started to learn a couple more details, like they were working to get a pulse and he wasn't breathing. Someone up at the campground with him told us they were life-flighting him to the hospital, and we should meet them there. It was a rush to collect our things and our emotions, and drive up to Ogden Regional Medical Center. We were met there by Heidi and Sean Brophy, President and Sister Jacobson, Isaac and one of Dad's coworkers Jay. It was a confusing time as we were hearing different pieces of the story, and waiting for Dad to get there. Mom had to go fill out some medical paperwork, and the rest of us sat in the waiting room. Once Dad arrived, they let my mom and siblings go see him. He was awake, but completely out of it. All he kept saying was, "Help me." It is so hard to see such a tough guy in that kind of state. Really shook me up. They'd cut all of his clothes off of him, and he was connected to all kinds of machines and wires. I'm not really sure he knew we were there, and he definitely didn't know what was going on. We stayed back there a few minutes, then went back to the waiting room while the staff worked to stabilize him. 

That's when President Hjorten showed up, and told us the story (I'm also adding some details we learned later from the two men that saved Dad's life.):

They had just finished a devotional, and Dad had helped pass around doughnuts as refreshments. Then he went and picked up his camp chair, and sat near a large fire-pit, with only a small fire going. Brother Brown, and his son Alex, and Brother Zimmerman, and his son Christian, had just come over to stand around the fire when they noticed my Dad's head suddenly drop, his phone fall out of his hand, and his body begin to slump. They tried to ask him if he was ok, but they got no response.  Brother Zimmerman pushed his body back up in the chair, and realized there was no pulse and that he wasn't breathing. He yelled at him and tried to get a response, but there was nothing. Luckily, Brother Brown happens to be a doctor. He instructed Zimmerman to get Dad on the ground and start CPR while he called the paramedics. They did CPR for nearly 30 minutes waiting for the ambulance to arrive, and the decision was made at some point during that time to send a life-flight helicopter in as it would be a faster route from the campground to the hospital. President Hjorten said that after 15 minutes of CPR, he was pretty sure they'd lost him. His eyes had rolled back into his head, his body was cold, and it was starting to turn blue. The doctor had the inspired idea to ask for an epipen. They could use the burst of adrenaline to help kick-start the heart. A nearby man happened to have one on him, so they quickly shot it into Dad's stomach. They said when they did this, Dad became semi-conscious for a minute and looked around and took a couple of breaths, but then went back into unconsciousness. They yelled out for another epipen, and after a couple of minutes, a kid came running with two. They used one more just a couple minutes later, and got the same kind of response. Finally, the ambulance arrived, and they were able to shock his heart back to life. He woke up and became kind of angry, they said, fighting the paramedics trying to strap him to the board so he could be placed in the helicopter. They had six or seven guys holding me down, because he is STRONG. Then they flew him to Ogden Regional, where we met him. 

They got him stabilized, and then moved him to the ICU. He was in and out of it, but the doctors were amazed at his condition, for 30 minutes of CPR and lack of oxygen. He never had to be intubated, and he was pretty alert. Confused, for sure, but alert. They put him through many tests to find out what happened, but learned that there really was no explanation for it. His CT scan and EKG came back normal, he was free of blood clots and blocked arteries, and he didn't have a heart attack. The random event is kind of scary, so they decided to keep him in the ICU where they could keep a close watch on him until they could implant a defibrillator, which basically monitors his heart rate 24/7, and shock it back into normal rhythm when needed to try and prevent a life-threatening situation from happening again. 

We were all at the hospital pretty late that night, but Aubrey, Isaac and I left for home about 3 AM to grab some stuff for Mom and Dad, who would be at the hospital for awhile. And Whit couldn't get herself to leave. We slept for a couple hours, and then headed back over there with all the needed stuff. 

Dad seemed to be more conscious on Saturday, but clearly had short-term memory problems. He asked the same questions over and over and over again: How did I get here? Where is my truck? I was supposed to cook breakfast at the camp-out this morning... Did anyone track down any stoves? Isaac and I had an appointment at the car dealership today - He should probably call and cancel. So we went over and over those details, but within 10 or 15 minutes, he'd ask them again. One funny side-note: Each time we told him that he had to be life-flighted to the hospital, he'd get a look of pure shock on his face, and go: "What!! That's going to cost like _______." And each time, his estimated cost went higher and higher. He started with $5,000. Then $10,000. Then $15,000. Then $30,000. Then $50,000. And by the end of the day, we got: "That's going to cost like, $100,000!" Hahaha every single time he began his response, we'd all look at each other in anticipation of what amount he was going to say, and try so hard not to laugh. 

He remembered very little from Saturday. He had all kinds of visitors, but by Sunday, he'd forgotten seeing anyone at all.

Saturday night, we all left (except mom who stayed with Dad the whole time) around midnight and went to get some Father's Day stuff ready for Dad. (Sad, right? Father's Day in the ICU?) It took us way longer than it should have, but it was fun to take Dad a candy poster and some presents to try and brighten his morning and celebrate him a little extra for sure. He seemed to like it, but apparently forgot all about it, because he never remembered opening his presents when he saw them all again at home later. I also made him a buttermilk pie for his Father's Day dessert, because they're his favorite.

It was a long few days in the hospital. So many drives back and forth, trying to keep the house cleaned and take care of Archie, but also be there for Mom and Dad, and bring everyone what they needed. We had mostly awesome nurses, but on Sunday, encountered one who wouldn't even let us all go sit with him at the same time. Not even on Father's Day. When most of the other nurses would even let non-relatives in to see him! Basically ridiculous. We were heated.

I was getting 2-3 hours of sleep a night, which is more I'm sure than my poor mom who was sleeping on a hospital floor, but I was still exhausted. By the time I rolled into work early Monday morning, I was physically and emotionally spent. I would cry at the smallest criticism, or sometimes at nothing at all, all day long. The hospital and the trauma really takes a toll on you. 

Dad got his defibrillator put in on Monday, and they said they'd monitor him for 24 hours, and then he could go home. We were relieved because no one was getting the rest they needed while at the hospital, and Dad was truly just miserable there. But after 15 attempts during the operation, the doctor was never able to get the wires in a place he was happy with. X-rays and ultrasounds afterward proved that. So he had to go back in on Tuesday, and get his incision re-cut open, so the doctor could try again. Depression really started to set in at this news. This time was easy, the doctor said. He didn't know why, but it only took him one try to get the wires in a place he was happy with. And because he was so confident, he allowed Dad to finally come home.

Dad's extremely sore from 2 broken ribs caused by the CPR, and complains about a lot of headaches, but he has a beating heart and we are so thankful. So many things lined up for him that night: it happened when people were around, instead of an hour later when he would have been sleeping alone in his truck; a doctor happened to be at the campground, and one of the only two men near dad when it happened; and they were able to use two epipens to help the resuscitation efforts. If this had happened at home, he may have already gone to bed for the night as he goes to sleep early, and we never would have known. It could have happened while he was driving, which would have been tragic no doubt. But it happened at the right place, at the right time. And he's made a truly miraculous recovery. His short-term memory has returned, and he never lost any long-term memory, which is a miracle because his brain was without oxygen for so long. 

We are so grateful to still have him with us, and for the reassurance that the implanted defibrillator gives us that this won't happen again.

Now he just needs a few weeks for the ribs to heal, and he is practically good as new.

We sure love our Dad.

[themomsandthecity]

Why Didn't Anybody Tell Me: It's Impossible to Ask For Help as a New Mom

Aside from comments about their postbaby body, I've discovered the worst thing you can say to a new mom is . . . "Let me know if you need any help." It's a marvelous sentiment, in theory. And if you've ever said that to a freshly minted mother, you probably thought you were doing the right thing. After all, the Internet seems to think that the No. 1 thing a new mom needs is help, and I'm certainly not disputing that fact. However, it's about as useful as saying, "Let me know if you poop." It's something we both know I do, but I'm certainly not going to tell you about it (unless, of course, you were my discharge nurse at the hospital). See, I'm never going to ask for help. Sorry, fellow moms who swear by this trick, but without a few solid years of therapy to better understand the root of my control issues, it's just not going to happen. I simply can't do it, no matter how much I want to or need it. Here's why. * I'm not a good delegator. Offering "any help" covers too much ground, and I don't know where to begin. Are you offering to run my errands? Do my laundry? And if so, by the time I show you how to do it, couldn't I just do it myself? * I'm afraid you'll think I'm incapable. To the well-wisher who came to my apartment to meet the baby and then marveled at how amazing the place looked and how "you make this look easy!" . . . You ruined me for every other visitor. I got such pleasure out of making it seem like I had it all together (when I actually had no fewer than three panic attacks trying to get it all together before your arrival) that I didn't want to know what it felt like to have someone come by and realize "Damn, this woman needs some assistance." * I'm afraid you'll say no. I assume every conversation will go like this: You: "Let me know if you need any help." Me: "Thanks! You know, now that you mention it, would you be able to . . ." You: "Whoa, whoa, whoa. I'm going to stop you right there." Me: "Um, OK." You: "I was just saying that as a courtesy." Me: "I'm sorry." You: "You should be. I'm never going to speak to you again." * I think it's so obvious I need help that I shouldn't have to ask for it. It's like when my husband asks me what's wrong. If you don't know, I'm not going to bother explaining it to you. * I know why you're really here. Most people who drop by, often unannounced, to "offer help" are really just there to cuddle up with the baby. I know beggars can't be choosers, but I don't need help loving my newborn. I got that. Those dirty dishes in the sink, however . . . Those could definitely use some love. Although I can't stress enough how truly difficult it is for a lot of women to ask for help, I don't want to seem defeatist. I spent most of my first few months as a fledgling parent being a martyr, to no good end. That is, except for the fact that I've learned some work-arounds for offering assistance to new moms too proud to ask for it. Here are some completely self-serving recommendations for the next time you genuinely want to help but aren't sure how: * Don't make us ask. Just turning that statement into a question does wonders. "What can I do to help?" is a beautiful revision and one I'm slightly more able to answer. * Come with a plan already in place. Don't wait to be told what to do. Just say, "I'm going to do your laundry. Don't worry, I'll let your sweaters air-dry and I'll use the scent-free detergent on the baby clothes." The key here is force: don't give me an opportunity to refuse you, and if you don't know how I like things done, just ask as you go. * Send in professionals. I'll always be uncomfortable with having any friend or relative dust my bookshelves or scrub my toilets, but those are some of my most daunting chores of all. Instead of buying another baby blanket she probably already has in overabundance, why not give her the gift of a one-time professional cleaning service? * If you cook a meal, clean up the mess. I actually enjoy cooking but abhor doing dishes, so when family members offer to make us dinner, they're saving me time, yes, but not only are they taking away a stress-reliever, they're also often leaving me with the part of the process I hate the most. * Return the baby as you found her. Just as I wouldn't borrow a dress and return it stained, if I'm handing you a happy, dry-diapered bundle of joy, please don't return a bundle of pee, spit-up, and screams. * Even better, take the screaming baby. This is especially kind to moms of colicky newborns. * Refuse thank-you cards. I loved when people brought gifts or casseroles, but it also meant tacking another item on my never-ending to-do list. Taking time out to write a coherent note of appreciation, find a stamp, locate an address, and actually mail it is an epic commitment for a sleep-deprived postpartum woman. So, while you are offering your help, how amazing would it be if you also let us off the hook, just this once? http://bit.ly/2j2kuq0