#she is so wasted in this fandom oh my god

[incorrectinfinity]

Idk man I think the misogyny in JJBA goes beyond just the story and author and goes into the fanbase

This fandom often criticizes the treatment of women in JJBA, and let me make this clear: that is incredibly well deserved.

Misogyny is literally intertwined throughout the entirety of JJBA, it's fucking ridiculous. The problem I have is that every so often there is a well written woman. There are instances of women written well who are integrated into the plot in interesting ways, who aren't just a damsel in distress, who have layers, make realistic mistakes, and aren't needlessly assaulted for the sake of establishing sympathy.

My two main (and favorite) examples of this are Lisa Lisa and Hot Pants.

How these two are treated by the fandom is honestly kind of embarrassing.

You took the badass, hypercapable, incredibly strong Lisa Lisa, a woman who had to leave her child behind in the pursuit of avenging her husband, and reduced her to a milf.

You took the resilient, talented, nuanced Hot Pants, a woman who is desperately trying to find forgiveness in faith after she sacrificed her younger brother, and reduced her to nothing more than a girlfriend for Diego.

Misogyny is not just a problem within JJBA's writing, it's a problem within the fanbase itself.

[redbullgirly]

Million Dollar Man [LS18 smau]

Lance Stroll x reader [social media au]

Masterlist

Summary: Lance's girlfriend isn't afraid to show how much her boyfriend loves and spoils her. Unfortunately, "fans" seem to think she's a gold digger. But who would Lance and Y/N bee if they just let it slide?

Warnings: A lot of hate towards the reader by online trolls and just toxic fans, at the end she and Lance shuts them up but if you're not in the right head-space to read this, then please don't.

yourusername posted on instagram

liked by lance_stroll, fernandoalo_oficial, astonmartin and 192,344 others

tagged: astonmartin and lance_stroll

yourusername life lately... how about you? 🍰💐

view all 3209 comments

user1 more like: life lately 💸💸💸

user2 LOL

lance_stroll life lately has been great ❤️

liked by the author

user3 Lance don't worry we're going to save you!!

user4 our guy is lyinggggg i can feel it

user5 Oh my god let them live a happy life you trolls🤦‍♀️

user6 how can you know it's happy when she clearly uses him for money?🤨

user5 And how can you know it's not? Besides I don't think she uses him for anything🤷‍♀️

user4 then your just as naive as him user5 lol

user7 she's so classy a love it!😻

user8 Can she even drive or she just wanted to take a photo in his car?

fernandoalo_oficial You are slaying Queen!😉

fernandoalo_oficial Did I do it correctly yourusername?

yourusername it's great nando, just please never use that emoji again and you'll be ready do graduate from my gen-z university!

fernandoalo_oficial Damn it I knew all you use these days is this one: 💀

yourusername 💀

user9 OKAY I DON'T CARE ABOUT ANYTHING ANYONE SAYS ABOUT HER AND LANCE CAUSE I LOVE Y/N AND NANDO INTERACTIONS MORE THAN MY OWN LIFE!!

user10 i'm convinced she holds both aston drivers hostage in her basement and is forcing them to comment on her posts

user11 It's probably not even her own basement but Lance's😭

user12 nah she ain't even that pretty

user13 omg no way this post is the way I found out lance mf stroll has a girlfriend?🤠

user14 GIRL you have so much lore to catch up on

user15 Yeah welcome to the worst wag ever fandom xd

user13 wait I'm so confused... why do we hate her???

user14 bc she's basically a gold digger, like from the moment her and lance started dating she's been posting only about shopping and showing off herself and her bf's money

user12 plus she ugly af

user15 Yeah and there are rumors on twitter about her being really mean to everyone and that the whole paddock hates her and stuff...

user13 okay I get that but tbh we can't believe everything that's on f1 twitter

user14 idc she's a bitch even without the rumors

user15 I can tell Y/N is trying so hard to have the rich girly aesthetic... it's actually embarrassing😂

astonmartin Wow you have a great car right there😍

user16 more like her sugar daddy lance has it lol XD

user17 guys be fr if you had a rich boy you'd be spending his money too!!!

twitter

yourusername and lance_stroll posted on instagram stories

yourusername posted on instagram

liked by estabanocon, lance_stroll, astonmartinf1 and 206,948 others

tagged: astonmartinf1 and lance_stroll

yourusername thank you spa for having me! what a race, congrats to my favourite driver lance_stroll on p9 & his teammate fernandoalo_oficial on p5! great team work, hope to see you on another grand prix in the future astonmartinf1 💚🏆

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astonmartinf1 we hope to see you on another grand prix as well Y/N!🤩

liked by the author

user1 you don't have to lie admin, it's waste of money on her... better give the paddock pass to someone else

astonmartinf1 well, we definitely won't give it to you user1, so no need to worry about it 😙

user2 daaaamn, the admin is coming for y'all haters

user3 Of course she had to wear the racing suit... c'mon that's so embarrassing🙄

user4 actually it's pretty normal, I'm pretty sure Max's gf also wore his racing suit at some point

user3 Yeah but I at least like and respect Kelly... Y/N is a horrible gold digger

user4 well then I'm pretty sure it's your problem, not hers🤷‍♀️

user5 girl stop pretending you care about racing we all know you do it just for pr and cash xdd

user6 Honestly I'm not a Lance Stroll fan, but he deserves someone better than her...

lance_stroll Thank you to my favourite wag! 🥳❤️

yourusername love you baby!!!💞

user7 favourite wag😂 good joke😂😂

user8 am I the only one who finds their interaction cute??

user9 yeah you are user8... like just look at it, it's so forced... wouldn't be surprising if their whole relationship was fake

user10 You can hate on her all you want, but she's actually gorgeous in the third pic😻

user11 YUUUCCKK🤮🤮🤮

user12 you see I would be fine with this post if she didn't have to show off the aston martin car again!!!

user13 Hey did you notice she tagged Nando in the caption and he didn't reply to her? I call it ✨karma✨ lol

user14 maybe he escaped from her basement😭

user15 💚💚

user16 sorry but I can't help it. There's just something fishy about Y/N and I can't bring myself to like her at all

user17 Guys who is this girl and why does she get more hate in her comments than hailey bieber??💀

user18 I hate how she makes the whole Grand Prix about herself

user19 no but fr... like honey, idc about you and your favourite driveeer

user20 Tf?? She literally called LANCE her favourite driver how is that about her... you haters are so dumb🤦‍♀️

user21 I bet she read the comments on twitter about how she's bad gf for not going to any races and decided to fix her image by this XD

user19 lmfao didn't probably work the way she hoped

messages between Y/N and Lance

lance_stroll posted on instagram

liked by yourusername, sebastianvettel, f1 and 330,219 others

tagged: yourusername

lance_stroll As some of you now, I am not very active on social media. Today I'm making an exception for Y/N, my lovely girlfriend I've been dating for almost a year now. She is one of the greatest, most kind, caring and selfless people I know. I don't know where the idea of our relationship being unhappy, one-sided or even insincere came from, but I would like to make it very clear once and for all that these assumptions are as far from the truth as they can be.

In my life, I experienced a lot of hateful comments and reactions myself. It is not something I wish anyone should have to go through and it's disgusting. I love Y/N with all my heart and I hope that one day, she'll make me the happiest man alive and allows me to marry her, build a family together. No one will ever again speak about her in an inappropriate way, or they'll be blocked and possibly face legal actions taken agains them. I am very serious about this.

Y/N, I'm not afraid to call you the love of my life. I never want to see you cry because of some meaningless hater. Love you to the moon and back, sweetheart ❤️

view all 4823 comments

user1 It's just so heartbreaking how Lance himself had to go through so many waves of hate because of his dad and now he had to watch Y/N go through it too...😓

yourusername love you to the moon and back too lance!!!💖

lance_stroll Wouldn't have it any other way honey!😌

user2 you know it's serious when sebastianvettel shows up

astonmartinf1 once the it couple, always the it couple!💚 proud to say we were never a hater😘

user3 i still think it's fake

fernandoalo_oficial and I think you are fake🤪

user4 LMAO nando come and get the haters lets goooo

user5 That's how you shut them up xd

fernandoalo_oficial how do you children say it? I AM LANCEY/N DEFENDER

user4 yeah yeah nando exactly that or you can say your a lancey/n truther

liked by fernandoalo_oficial

user5 omg I can't believe I just had online conversation with THE Fernando Alonso😭

user4 GIRL ME TOO AND HE EVEN LIKED MY COMMENT😭😭

f1 What a beautiful couple you are!🙌 Hope to see you in the paddock after summer break!😏

user6 "they'll be blocked and possibly face legal actions taken agains them" daaammmnn man is standing on business here

user7 Tbh I never understood why y'all hated on her sm she's literally so beautiful and seems kind as well🤷‍♀️

lilymhe pretty giiiirl

lance_stroll I couldn't agree more!❤️

yourusername oh stop you two I'm blushing

user8 Can we take a moment to appreciate how beautifully the caption is written?🥹 Lance really has some poetic talent!

liked by yourusername

user9 aaah she's still a gold digger and he's too blind to see it😂

user10 Yeah she probably charmed him in bed or sm

user11 Ohh user9 and user10... I wonder how it feels to know Lance and probably some other drivers hate you🫢

chloestroll My brother and my future sister-in-law!🥰

liked by the author and yourusername

yourusername 🥰🥰

user12 im actually so happy to see y/n replying to some of the comments and just being active without so much hate on her now!!!

yourusername posted on instagram

liked by lance_stroll, kellypiquet, fernandoalo_oficial and 299,102 others

tagged: lance_stroll and dior

yourusername they say if he wanted to he would... I say he wants to so he does 🌹❤️

comments have been limited

lilymhe she ate you jealous people up with that caption

liked by lance_stroll and fernandoalo_oficial

lilymhe also alex_albon me when??

dior Wow!❤️‍🔥

lance_stroll That's what real men do instead of trolling others on the internet.

yourusername daaammn baby

lance_stroll What? I'm just stating facts 😌

kellypiquet shopping trip to Paris when?😍

yourusername anytime you want!!!💕

astonmartinf1 So lucky to (basically) have you on our team💚

fernandoalo_oficial I call that a slay admin

astonmartinf1 ...should I tell him slay is kinda out dated??

yourusername aaah let him have his moment

fernandoalo_oficial WHAT?! YOU TRAITORS I THOUGH I WAS GEN-Z APPROVED

yourusername 🫢

THE END

Author's note: I hope you liked my first ever social media au story! I'll be glad for every feedback, comment, like, reblog and everything! You can definitely send me asks and requests for another smau's and even 'normal' fanfictions. Have a great day!

[sunglassesmish]

okay so a very long post incoming.

the shock still hasn’t worn off. i asked misha about bi buck after days. weeks. of talking about it as a hypothetical and i got the BEST answer ever and caused extreme disarray in the destiel fandom.

people in my discord group can attest how often i was like ‘ooh i hope someone asks misha in a panel this weekend.’ ‘maybe we can all go in on a cameo and ask him that way instead?’ i was pretty annoying about it, i just. i NEEDED TO ASK.

so i got to the con thinking if only i could ask a question. then i went to misha’s solo panel but didn’t line up for some reason and then by the end, i regretted it because there was no last question and even misha commented on it. i thought damn now i only have tomorrow’s panel to do it. but i wrote down my question anyways and i thought i’m already here, i have to at least TRY.

i complained to my mother about how i really wanted to ask a question, but no way could i tell her i wanted to ask about buck and tommy kissing and destiel. she doesn’t even know destiel is a thing and she would not approve if she did. but i went to the panel by myself, luckily she didn’t have a ticket to the con anyways so she just waited in the hotel lobby after checking out (which was her choice. she listened to misha’s first panel on saturday from outside the room and didn’t want to sit through one again)

anyways so i go to the tomer/karen panel that was before his panel, and i’m on the right side right at the back, the complete opposite side where the people who ask questions are. then towards the end of that panel i move to the left side. i’m still at the back but i’m at the end of the row so i can easily move when i need to. then when the panel ends i go to ask a person who works at the con about asking a question. she says there are still people who didn’t get to ask their questions yesterday so they get priority, and the rest aren’t lining up yet. now i’m pretty confused because there was a distinct lack of questions at the end yesterday but whatever.

so i go to sit back down but there’s a line of people right where the question line was on saturday, so i join it thinking just in case she was wrong. well more people start to line up and she says ‘nobody is lining up to ask yet!!’ and i’m like okay so it’s fine, we really aren’t going yet.

then i sit back down and a few minutes later i see her directing like 4 or 5 people onto seats after she raises a paper saying ‘reserved for questions’ or something like that. so i think okay it’s my chance. i go up and she directs me into these seats that are closer to the front and is filled with like TEN people who are sitting in that ‘reserved for questions’ section. i think oh my god. there are so many people here. i text the discord saying ‘IM IN THE LINE.’

then the panel starts and i’m like okay well i’m towards the end and i’m close to the front now, i’ll take some pics. and as people ask their questions and sit in their original seats, we have to keep moving along the row of seats so we keep getting closer to the middle near the mic.

but then there’s half an hour and one of the people working for the con comes and says to the girl after me in the queue and the people behind her that they weren’t gonna get to ask. she tells the people at the front of the queue ‘i think just the first few of you will get to ask’ - at this point i’m like the 5th/6th in line (after the person at the mic and the person waiting behind them) so i’m not very optimistic at all. and then.

so i tell my discord ‘yeah i don’t think i’m gonna get to ask’ because i’m still pretty far from the end by the mic.

and then the panel goes on and there ends up being two people, one at the mic, one standing behind them. and one of the people working for the con tells me, THE NEXT PERSON IN LINE, ‘sorry, you won’t get to ask.’ and i am DEVASTATED. i tell the discord ‘yeah i’m definitely not gonna ask.’

i’m thinking I SERIOUSLY just wasted this whole panel shuffling seats and worrying for nothing (i had also just left my bag with all my stuff on a random seat!) so i sit there annoyed and sad for a minute until i see sean (the con organiser) by the stage and he tells her that i can go up last i guess. so she comes up to me and tells me i will be up next and to stand behind the people at the mic and i’m SHAKING.

i get in the line and i text on the discord that i’m the last question.

then i stand there listening to the questions before me just thinking oh my god misha is right there and i’m gonna be the last question and oh my god it’s gonna be such a good question. because i saw how much chaos misha caused with his questions on saturday and in this panel i don’t think anyone asked about destiel. so i thought!!! this is gonna be good!!!

and then i get to the mic and they’re all on stage and sean is next to it and says it’s the last question so it’s gotta be a good one. and then alex and rob and misha are all like oohhh it’s the last question but then MISHA. FUCKING. comes off the stage and comes up to me holding the mic and is two feet from me and looks me in the eyes and says ‘don’t fuck it up.’ but i’m like it’s on my phone! i got it written down! and well you’ve all seen the pictures of him looking right into my eyes but i’ll show you again.

so the first two four of these next photos we were making eye contact. i remember when he came up to me i was looking at all the lines on his face thinking man he’s so pretty and he’s right in front of me what the fuck.

but in these last two i wasn’t looking at him. he was just looking at me. which is just insane to see in retrospect.

after this i think he went back to the stage and i was like okay this last question is for misha and he cheered i guess. i think i blacked out tbh.

now when he got back to the stage i think this was when rob started singing the last question song because i remember thinking like damn i need to ask this question before i cry or something. misha was just standing there and looking at me - from the stage this time and i was. freaking out.

after that singing was done i said ‘this question is kinda about destiel, just to warn you in advance.’ and then apparently rob said ‘perfect last question’ and i started asking my question.

i started with saying ‘so there’s this show called 911’ and SO many people started cheering. i was immediately so much more comfortable because i could tell people would know where this was going. especially when after i carried on with: ‘it moved networks from fox to abc in it’s 7th season. and there’s a main character named buck who in the 4th episode kissed another man’ and then people started cheering AGAIN.

and anyways you all know the rest by now. i said ‘the actor who played him reported that they wanted to do something like it earlier in the show, but when they moved networks they were allowed to make it happen. if supernatural moved networks earlier on, or if it was made later on, do you think something like that could have happened with dean and cas?’

and we ALL know misha’s reply by now. ‘if the cw wasn’t so homophobic, dean and cas would have been balls deep for sure.’ i vividly remember being like OH MY GOD (in my head) and then i put my head in my hands a little and apparently. so did misha. which is to be expected i mean that was wild.

after that he said he was gonna actually give a semi earnest answer and said some things that are shown in these tweets. i remember bits and pieces because i was trying to hold eye contact with misha but i occasionally looked down and played with the mic a little but didn’t want to seem too uninterested. i loved his answer. the thread in this tweet has the general gist of it.

and if you wanna see the question i had written down and open on my phone, which i edited RIGHT before the panel as you can see from the timestamp (don't judge me for the second question it was just a backup) and a picture of misha looking at my phone. here it is.

[girlboypersonthingy]

Hi again, I'm the awkward anon (lol)

So I had this scenario in mind and even though I'm new to this fandom, I haven't found anything similar.

So, reader (gn) is Lucifer's partner and is a fallen angel too, but not as powerful. During the final battle they fight with Adam, and just when he is about to eliminate them, Lucifer arrives and saves them and goes full demon mode.

You're obviously not obligated to write it, and please take your time!! Thank you🥰

AWKWARD ANON, YOU GENIUS 😍 I’m in love with this prompt oh my god. And thank you for being so polite, what a gentleman, what a lady, what a scholar. Enjoyyyy!

Notes: gn!reader, fallen angel!reader, reader has their wings still, reader is sort of a parental figure for Charlie

TW: blood, bruises, fighting, cussing

Lucifer x reader- To the Rescue 🎇

It had been a long, grueling battle so far and watching Sir Pentious disappear into nothing within just a split second brought tears to everyone’s eyes. “Ugh! Razzle, Dazzle!” Charlie summons her fuzzy companions who magically morph into giant, elegantly fierce dragons.

You stood beside the others as you watched Charlie and Vaggie charge forward towards Adam on Razzle and Dazzle, the entire group cheering them on before continuing the battle against the exorcists. Upon seeing Vaggie and Dazzle fall at the hands of Lute, your eyes then land on Charlie next, a cry of worry leaving your mouth as you watch Adam smack Charlie so hard she goes flying into the lights of the hotel sign. “Charlie!��� Using your wings, you race to get to her, dodging other angels as you fly. You had no time to waste- sure Charlie is powerful but Adam is quite the equal match. If anything, you worry that he will conquer her if she fights him alone.

The moment you step foot on the roof of the hotel you take a moment to watch as Charlie stabs Adam with her weapon and swings it around, sending him crashing down as she glares at him. “That’s princess of hell to you, pig.” Despite the tense and scary situation, a proud smile grows on your face as you watch her. “I’m here. I’m with you.” Your words grab her attention and she smiles at you before you both raise your weapons up in defense.

“Ah! I see another traitor has come to die, huh?” Adam teases you as he gets back to his feet, a shit-eating grin on his face. “Long time, no see, babe. So this is what you’re up to since you fell? Hm, you seem to fit right in with these idiots.” As she suddenly charges forward, Adam quickly flies out of the way of Charlie’s attack and instead grabs a hold of her weapon, swinging her around by it and knocking her down again, this time tossing her weapon far aside where she couldn’t reach it. Before you could get between them, Adam hits Charlie hard across the face then raises his angelic weapon above her. Sprinting to Charlie’s side, you manage to stop him in his tracks by putting your weapon up against his, a loud clash of metal sounding between you two. After a few moments of struggling against each other, Adam uses so much force that it brings you to your knees and you watch as your weapon begins to bend and buckle under his. Pushing back against him, you manage to make him stumble back for a moment. Tossing your own weapon aside then grabbing a hold of his weapon with your bare hands and not letting go, you panic as you realize there’s no where else to go and no way you’re getting out of this alive. You just have to hold on and push back for as long as you can.

“NO! Adam, please. You don’t have to do this. You don’t have to kill these people. Please…It’s n-not too late-“

Within seconds, Adam has you knocked to the ground right beside Charlie with a brutal punch to the face. “You don’t know anything! I know it’s been a while since you were in heaven with us but things have changed, hun.” Weak and exhausted from the fight, you stay down beside Charlie, even reaching over to put a reassuring hand on her shoulder. “You really think these disgusting vermin can change? HAH! You are so stupid. Even more stupid than I thought you were before!” Adam crouches down to get a closer look at your bruised face covered in streams of gold blood.

You saw your chance and took it without hesitation, reaching forward to grab Adam by his clothes and slam him down to the ground. “I’m not stupid, you asshole!” The words come as a guttural scream from you as his back hits the hard ground. As fast as you can, you climb on top of him, straddling his waist as you begin landing blow after blow to his face. After only a few hits, his mask falls off and clatters to the ground beside him. “You’re disgusting! What kind of angel are you?!” And before you can get another punch in, he has you by the throat. His fingers dig in to your skin, his face now matching yours with patches of gold blood staining it. It made you feel somewhat proud to know that you made those marks on him.

You continue swinging on him but to no avail, he just won’t let up on your neck and your chest is starting to burn from the lack of oxygen. Finally, your hands find his, frantic fingers trying to pry his off of you as you gasp for air. “(Y/N)!” Charlie scrambles forward to try and stop Adam with a fierce expression on her face but it only takes him a second to remove one hand from your neck and latch it onto hers with deadly force. With your throat in one hand and Charlie’s throat in the other, Adam squeezes with all his strength, making your vision start to go dark and fuzzy. “A-Adam. P-please…” you squeak out, still trying to get his hand to loosen up. Your wings pop out again, trying to flap and get you away from him but he had such a strong hold on you. You suddenly worry that Charlie’s whines and choking beside you will be the last thing you ever hear.

“This fight was cute and all, but it’s time to die with the rest of them.” He uses his leverage on your neck to pull your face close to his. “Im glad you fell. You didn’t deserve to be up there with someone like me. You’re just a stupid little-“

Without another word, Adam was flung to the side by a hard punch from a suddenly appearing Lucifer. The blow had you swiftly dropping to your feet before Lucifer catches you, kneeling down as he cradles you and Charlie gently. “I’m so sorry I’m late, my darlings.” He looks back and forth between you and Charlie with apologetic and loving eyes. “Are my loves okay?” Charlie nods with a sweet smile towards her father while you give him a smirk and a wink. “Took you long enough.” You teasingly reply as Adam finally crawls his way back to the fight.

“Hmmph! Ugh…how man of you freaks do I have to fight?”

“Oh I’m the only one that matters. See, you messed with my daughter and my partner and now, I am going TO FUCK YOU!” You actually face palm as Charlie steps closer to her dad with an embarrassed look on her face. “It’s ’fuck you up’, dad…” “Wait, what did I say?”

As Luci and Adam fight and soar around in the red sky above you, Lucifer shape shifting and bullying Adam, you notice Charlie running to help Vaggie who was still fighting with Lute. Just as you began running to assist her, Adam hit the entire hotel with an extremely powerful blast, slicing the whole building into two. You trip backwards, thankfully avoiding the huge canyon that had formed in the middle of the hotel. All you can do is watch with fearful eyes as Charlie goes falling down into the deep pit, Lucifer chasing after her with impeccable speed. In just seconds, he catches her and circles around back to check on you.

“I got you.” “Dad, look out!” You flinch as Adam approaches but fortunately, the two demons with you were prepared and countered his attack, Charlie sending Adam crashing down to the hard asphalt. Lucifer then scoops you up and holds you and Charlie up in each of his arms as if you weigh nothing, then he flies all three of you into the air together. You couldn’t help but admire both of their passion, their anger and burning hate for Adam radiating off them. Charlie looks so much like her father and Lucifer looks so protective- both of them with glowing red eyes, horns fully protruded from their heads, tails wild and whipping behind them.

“You come at me and my family?! Don’t forget-“ In the blink of an eye, Lucifer has cautiously set both of you down before rushing to Adam. “You’re in my house, bitch!” Within seconds, Lucifer has reduced Adam to a golden bloody pulp as you watch, arms crossed and a vengeful smile on your face. “Whoa, whoa! Dad!” Charlie grabs her father’s shoulder and gains his attention. “He’s had enough…”

Lucifer complies with his daughter’s pleas and retreats back with you and the rest of the group as Adam crawls forward, whining and bitching about how cool he is and how he started all of mankind and blah blah blah. Lucifer’s hand slips into yours and his other finds Charlie’s hand. Just as you think you’ve heard enough of Adam’s bullshit ranting, he stops very abruptly and falls to the ground to reveal Nifty to be the one who finally took down Adam. Of course the entire group was shocked but relieved nonetheless.

“Oh, damn.” You can’t help but pity Lute as she begs Adam to get up and cries over his slowly dying body. “It’s over.” Charlie spits out as she stands beside a beaten up Vaggie. “Now take your little friends AND GO HOME! Please~” Lucifer growls out.

Lucifer watches as the exorcists retreat before he heads over to bring you and Charlie into a crushingly tight group hug. “I’m so glad my babies are okay. I love you both so much.” “I love you too, dad.” Charlie replies as she smiles, her eyes fluttering closed. “I love you, too, Luci.” He pulls away and sweeps your hair out of your face before letting out a soft sigh. “I can’t ever thank you enough for protecting my little girl.” All you can offer him is a smile and dreamy eyes. “She’s like a daughter to me. She’s our daughter. I love her just as much as you.” And this time, you initiate the group hug, cherishing the feeling of knowing both of them are safe and in your arms.

And Lucifer couldn’t be more happy and proud of his family. He’s so thankful to have both of you in his life now and he feels truly blessed to have you both safe with him again.

[chibsandchill]

A blood red setting sun

Fandom: HOTD (House of the Dragon) 

Pairing: Aemond x GN!Dragonrider!Reader (reader’s house is not specified)

Warnings: Death, toxic relationships, Aemond needs therapy (like a lot), sui§ide, Dark!Unhinged!Aemond, bad language, blood and gore (described), unreliable narrator (Aemond), grammatical and spelling errors. This is a dark fic

Summary: Rhaenyra changed her mind and sent you instead of Daemon to guard Harrenhall, and a battle between you and Aemond one-eye ensues far above the Gods Eye. Inspired by Love crime by Siouxsie and the Hannigram cliff scene. 

Masterlist

:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:

Alys clung to his back, her breath warm on the side of his neck. It made his skin crawl, 

he loved it. 

That feeling of wrong that washed over him every time they touched. The disgust that sprung down his spine when he joined himself with her. How his breath caught in his throat when she kissed him, when she pressed herself against him, 

the instinct to flee. 

It was familiar, 

unlike with you, 

when everything felt right. 

Aemond shifted forward in the saddle once he spotted the charred ruins. Alys moved closer, her rounded belly pressing against him to the point of discomfort. Disgust rolled in his stomach at the thought that she carried his bastard. He tugged her closer still, chasing the feeling, and yet, despite his efforts it ebbed away, just like it always did. He chased and chased like a dog with a bone, 

but even that would abandon him. 

Aemond scoffed and pushed her arm away. He would push her away, off his dragon were it not for the fact that he was addicted to her. She was a witch, 

his Alys. 

His. 

It rushed through him again, the loathing. It set his nerves on fire, his chest aching and heart screaming in protest, 

oh how he loved it. 

“There, my Prince.” Alys whispered in his ear. It made his skin crawl. Oh, how he loathed her touch. 

But true indeed, there you were. Waiting for him by the ruins and the great old tree. Your dragon stared them down when he ordered Vhagar to land. No respect, no… fear, either of you, he thought, for both dragon and rider neither flinched nor moved away when he landed his Queen of Dragons recklessly close. 

“Kinslayer!” You named him. “You came at last.”

He helped Alys down from Vhagar. Her touch chased away the delight he felt at hearing your voice again. “I hear you’ve been seeking us.” 

“Only you.” 

“Hm.” A smirk grew on his face. “I rarely leave my Lady’s side.”

You frown at the sight of the witch’s belly. “Clearly. I see Aegon’s lesson stuck after all. Tell me, Lady,” you turned to Alys, “did he cry as he spilled himself inside you?”

Your fire excited him. He found he didn’t even mind that it was his past you used to tear at the frayed edges of his wounded heart. It was you he had cried to that day Aegon had taken him to the brothel. He had cried as the old whore forced him to his peak, 

a whore who looked like Alys. 

Perhaps that’s why he chose her. So he can relive it time and time again. So that when he dreams he can hide in your arms again, where you press him to you to the point of pain. It grounded him, 

unlike now, 

Aemond felt untethered, like a kite who’s string had been cut and was left to waste away in the wind. 

His witch stood tall. Perhaps a bit too tall. Rigid. “Hardly.”

“Ah,” you lean back against the tree, “you’re upset about the gift I left you, witch.”

Alys tensed and wrapped her arms around her stomach. Aemond wanted to look at your hands but he refused to tear his eye from yours. Were they bloodied with Alys’ bastards? Or had you scrubbed and scrubbed until your hands bled. Were your arms marred with tiny scratches as they fought back? 

How did it taste? 

How did it feel to have your soul tainted with their blood? 

Could you still taste the iron on your tongue as he did? 

You were the same, 

tainted, 

doomed. 

You had left them all in a pile. Poor Alys could barely recognize them, much less identify what pieces belonged to which of her children. She had cried that night as he took her. He had licked the tears from her face and her misery warmed him. 

He wanted to thank you for it, 

for the high. 

Could you do it again? 

“I had thought murdering children was Daemon’s brand of cruelty.” 

“As did I, kinslayer.” You worried your lip between your teeth, face a perfect mask of indifference. “I do believe the saying to be ‘an eye for an eye’, not ‘an eye for a life’. Let’s not forget about sweet Lucerys,” you pouted and stepped closer. “He was Rhaenyra’s favorite, you know. Was it worth it?”

Always, he wanted to say. 

Aemond the One-eyed kinslayer with a heart as black as the night he slayed his nephew. 

“No.” 

“Liar.”

Perhaps a little. 

“And how is the whore of dragonstone, hm? I hear they heard her screams all the way to Dorne.” Aemond placed Alys in front of him, pressing himself against her. “And her daughter? A sign from the gods. My sister is more beast than woman. It is not so surprising then to find our uncle rutting into her so.” 

“You think I am here for her?” You laughed. 

Aemond bristled at the sound. He stood before you, a warrior, bloodied and proven, 

and you laugh. 

“No, Aemond,” his trousers tightened despite Alys pressing back against him, “I am here for you. It is time we end this. It is time we see who will win this deadly game. Say goodbye to your whore.”

Alys twisted in his arms with outrage, but Aemond said nothing. He wanted to disobey, if only to see what you would say, 

what you would do to her, 

to him. 

Would you tear the bastard from his arms? He tightened his arms around Alys. Would you? Could you see it in his eyes? The desire? 

Take her, he urged you in his mind. 

Take her. Take her. Take her. Take her. 

Take me. 

In his dreams you called him ‘yours’. 

Eager to chase it all away, Aemond forced Alys around and pressed his lips against her hard and fast without an ounce of kindness. They were already bruised from last night and she twisted in his hold to get away, 

but he wouldn’t let her. 

She saw much in the fire, his Alys. Surely she saw into his very core and knew the beast that waited there, ready to devour all that tries to take what belongs to another, 

what belongs to you. 

Piece by piece Aemond fed Alys to it. 

Who did you feed to your beast, Aemond wondered, or had you left it starving until he returned? Did you wait for him like you swore? He refused to believe you had. He did not. So you did not. What if you had? If he touched you would the beast take him? Would it turn against him? 

He wanted to try.

If you consumed him, 

he would be glad. 

You had lain with another. You must have. Or else… He refused to believe you had not, refused to believe that you had not betrayed him for that meant that it all was for nothing. 

He could see it in your eyes. You taunted him with it. A piece of you had been given to another. It must have been. It had been. He could see it. He saw the lack of it. You lacked it. You could not give it to him. It was gone. Gone. Gone. Gone. 

Just like you. 

Where did you go? 

He tore his face away from Alys and pushed her out of the way. 

There. 

You were mounting your dragon. 

The die had been cast, it seemed. Now to see who would survive this dance of theirs. 

Aemond clambered up the chains to Vhagar’s saddle. 

“Kinslayer!” You interrupted him as he was about to fasten the chains around him. He looked up, and there you were. Upside down in your saddle. He scowled. “Don’t bother with the chains. This won’t take long.”

“Soves!” Aemond barked at Vhagar, who grumbled and growled in protest at his tone, but the she-dragon obeyed. 

Your dragon was smaller and swifter than the old she-dragon, and quickly the pair of you disappeared in the clouds above. Because of her size Vhagar was much slower and had taken to ascending in ever widening circles, forcing them out over the vast lake. The waters of Gods eye shimmered like molten copper under the setting sun. It was rather peaceful, Aemond thought. 

And then, 

your dragon emerged from the clouds from his blindside. Teeth like swords wrapped around Vhagar’s throat and talons ripped and ripped at her soft underbelly. Vhagar twisted in your dragon’s hold, tearing herself further at his teeth in her desperation to be free. 

“Vhagar!” He shouted in horror. 

Her roars of pain echoed across the land. She turned and turned, lashed out with her tail, her claws. 

“Dracarys!” Aemond commanded her. “Dracarys!” 

Fire spouted from her maw, so bright that it looked like the clouds themselves caught on fire. 

Your dragon let go so that he could get a better grip but Vhagar banked to the side and the two dragons grappled at each other. Talons tore at hide until blood rained down on the fishermen below. 

And yet, through it all, you remained quiet. Such was your bond with your dragon. It needed no words. 

Vhagar’s claws caught on the soft underbelly of your dragon, and her teeth on his wing, but the she-dragon was dying. Her great wings slowed down, her fire a mere ember glowing in her throat. Your dragon bit at Vhagar again with renewed vigor, undeterred by her talons cutting straight through entrails. 

“Oh, kinslayer!” Your voice echoed in the wind. 

He looked up and only managed to draw his dagger as you leaped from your dragon. You slammed into him and your sword through him. Aemond gasped and sputtered. You were touching him. 

Skin against skin. 

Your face against his. 

Blood coated your teeth. 

You had never looked more beautiful. 

He barely noticed Vhagar’s dying shrieks, or that the three of you began plummeting towards the water. 

The feeling of her, 

it rushed through his veins, 

burned up his skin. 

Your chest heaved, but you smiled at him. You smiled and pressed yourself closer to him. Would you impale yourself on your own sword to get closer? Bleed into him as he bleeds into you. For what was this but you killing yourself? You and he were the same. 

Then you gasped, and Aemond was broken from his trance. 

You were still falling, 

falling together. 

But his dagger? You had fallen straight onto it. Red gushed out onto his hand. Horror filled his chest. He brought his hand up to his face. He wanted to cover his eyes and pray, pray, pray until he woke up in his bed and this was all a bad dream. 

He hardly felt his own pain over the pain in his heart. The beast rattled at the bars of the cage, breaking his ribs to crawl out of her chest and be reunited with you. 

Aemond’s eyes flew open at your touch. Calm acceptance waited for him in your eyes. He knew then that you also knew that this would never end in any other way. You were never meant to survive the war, for what was there to live for if not the other. You were always meant to burn together, 

die together.

Happiness. You were happy, 

happy with him. 

He could see the water now. It would be your grave. But you would be together. He wondered if you knew what would happen when you decided to jump from your dragon. Had you seen his dagger? Was this your design all along? To die together at each other’s hands? 

The one piece of you that you could give to no other. It was his. 

His. His. His. His. He was yours. 

Yours. Yours. Yours. 

You brought his blood coated hand to his mouth, and without looking away he licked at the wetness there. You pressed it harder against him and he licked and licked until it was gone and his face was stained with you. You. You. You.

You threw yourself against him again, your lips pressed against his. It wasn’t gentle. It wasn’t sweet. But it was perfect. He chased your lips as you pulled away. You had never looked as beautiful as you did then, lips smeared with blood and wide-shot pupils. 

You clutched at his tunic, to bring him closer or push him away? Aemond didn’t know. You pulled and then you pushed. 

And then, 

blackness. 

Aemond looked up. 

A blood red setting sun. 

Water filled his lungs. He didn’t feel cold and it was okay, 

because he had you in his arms, 

and now you would never be apart. 

[snippychicke]

It's Just Business-- Part Two

Ya'll have seen that gifset of this man's smile, right?

Addicting.

Fandom: One Piece (LA mainly)

Rating: Teen so far

Pairing: Sanji/Reader

Warnings: No real warnings, but god, I hope you like pining

Summary: You felt like you had known Sanji forever, considering your family had been the main merchants Zeff used to supply the Baratie. You had a small crush on him, but knew it was hopeless considering you were the one woman he didn't seem to pine over. 

It was fine. Or so you thought until you ended up on the Going Merry as a bookkeeper and supply manager. Being around him 24/7 was a lot more difficult than just a few days a week.  

(Please note 》°《 denotes a scene in the past while -*- will be a regular scene break. Because yeah, I like my non-linear story telling.)

Masterpost | Ao3

Voyage 

You had been raised on a ship. Solid land was unnatural to you compared to a swaying wooden deck. And you were well aware Sanji was the same, except one crucial thing: the Baratie was free-floating for the most part. Sailing and navigating had not been a large part of the chef's education. 

And looking at Luffy, Zoro, and Usopp, you had your doubts it had been theirs. None of them struck you as experienced sailors. "Do any of you know how to sail?" You bluntly asked as you watched them prepped their ship to leave the Baratie after Nami. 

You definitely hadn't followed Sanji down to the docks, your stomach in knots because he was leaving the Baratie. And joining the upstart pirate crew that had both fought the legendary Mihawk and the infamous Arlong. It didn't bother you. You weren't worried at all. 

It was bullshit and you were fuming underneath all the fear you couldn’t shake. There were too many emotions that it was far easier to just bottle them up and focus on the problem at hand.

As you suspected - and feared - none of the men looked completely confident as they shrugged their shoulders. "Kinda?" Was the general consensus between the three men you didn’t know, which is not what you wanted to hear. 

You looked at Sanji, who had already stepped onto the deck. But he was hardly helpful considering he simply shot you an impish smile as if he knew what you were thinking and was all for it. The look in his eyes was virtually daring you. 'Come on. You know you want to.'

Granted, you weren't even sure what you were doing. Or why. (You did, you just didn't want to admit to it.)

You groaned as you rubbed your forehead. Men. "Okay, follow up question. Do you even know where Arlong's base is?"

Luffy lightened up at that question, giving you a moment of hope. "I don't, but Binky does!"

Binky?

To your horror, the wanna-be pirate captain led you along with the others into the cabin where a black bag sat on a table. Before you could even question what was going on, Luffy pulled a decapitated head out of that bag. "Bendy knows where Arlong is, and will tell us as long as we get his body back!"

You had a moment of severely doubting Luffy’s sanity before the head moved. And spoke, glaring up at Luffy. "The name's Buggy. Not Bendy, not Blinky, Buggy."

The only reason you didn't fall over or bolt was Sanji's arms suddenly wrapping around you as soon as you screamed, pulling you close in an attempt to reassure you. 

"WHAT THE FUCK!" 

The clown's grin grew, amused by your reaction. "Hello to you too, gorgeous. You boys didn't waste any time replacing the redhead, did ya?"

"She's not replacing Nami," Luffy stated firmly, which was at odds with his smile. "But she's going to help us rescue her, right?" 

Rescue. Right. Because that is what comes jumping to your mind when you heard Nami apparently left with the towering fishman of her own volition, as well as a map to the Grand Line. Why was no one else freaking out over the living bodiless head?

"She's one of the best sailors I know," Sanji said, his grip tightening slightly around your waist. "And could punt your head off the deck like a ball if you insult her again." 

Oh. You felt a blush rising to your cheeks despite yourself. "And she is right here and able to talk for herself. Besides, I know where the Conomi Islands are, it's just that most avoid it like the plague since Arlong took over." Including yourself. Because you liked living.

Gods only know why. 

-*-

Which is how you ended up as the in-term navigator of the Going Merry, and seriously considering jumping overboard after just a day of sailing with the Strawhat pirates.

Luffy was both obnoxiously optimistic and bullheaded. It probably wouldn’t be too awfully bad if he wasn’t determined to find out what your dream was, and the fact he was absolutely certain you were now part of his crew. 

You never agreed to anything of the type. You just didn’t want the idiots - mainly your idiot - getting lost at sea. 

Zoro was decent on his own, except he was also being rather bullheaded for an idiot that was just on death's door days earlier. Either he was green with seasickness, or from the combination of blood loss and pushing himself too far. And then there was the fact that when he was around Sanji the two were constantly moments away from throwing punches. Well, kicks and swinging swords, to be more accurate.

Usually you would instantly be on Sanji’s side, but considering Sanji was currently smitten with Nami you were about ready to take one of his skillets and knock some sense into him as well. 

You knew he flirted with girls. Ever since you were both teenangers, he'd been a massive flirt with every female-presenting person that walked through the doors of the Baratie. Every week you heard the stories that were romanticized by Sanji, incriminating from the rest of the crew, with the truth probably somewhere in between.

But you had never seen it up close like this. Usually it was an hour or two at kost before he moved on to the next. 

Nami was beautiful; there was no denying that. You had met her briefly while you helped Zeff stitch Zoro up - being a merchant meant pirate attacks, which meant first aid was a necessity to survive - and you could get why he was infatuated. But god, it made you ill to hear Sanji be as determined as Luffy that she had done nothing wrong and was incapable of being a traitor. You weren't jealous. Not at all. Nope.

Then there was a talking head of Buggy that was thankfully usually handled by either Zoro or Sanji. And actually, Usopp was pretty decent other than either being a compulsive liar or just enjoying telling tall tales. Sailed the East Blue by himself? You called that bull within seconds of watching him trying to manage the sail. You'd be surprised if he had more than a week's worth of sailing experience.

-*-

You managed the helm, noting the direction of your trusty compass when a shadow fell over you. Your stomach twisted, hoping it wasn’t Luffy again asking how much longer. 

"Figured you could use a little afternoon snack," Sanji offered when you looked up, causing a moment of relief. There was no denying the warmth that filled your chest at seeing him, or to see an assortment of finger-foods --each more appetizing than the last-- on the small plate he offered.

"I shouldn't… I'm still pretty full from lunch." Yet they looked so good, and smelled even better. But god, you had eaten so much at lunch, far more than you usually did. One of the perks of having a chef aboard instead of deciding how much energy you wanted to expend on cooking. 

Sanji didn't seem convinced as he leaned closer so he could faux-whisper: "If you don't accept them, I'm pretty sure Luffy will inhale them before you get a second chance." 

Fair. The boy had an appetite more legendary and unbelievable than his gum-gum fruit abilities. He was thin as a rail, but you had seen him eat more than his own weight already.  

As if sensing your waivering judgment, Sanji picked up one of the treats and held it to your lips. You hope you didn't look as red as you felt as you hesitantly opened your mouth to accept. Especially when you glanced up at his eyes while you did so. It did nothing well for you seeing that pleasant faint smile on his face as he fed you, his fingers brushing your lips slowly and softly. 

"I'm glad you're with us," He confessed as he pulled his fingers away. "I'd hate to have to rely on a clown for directions." 

You smiled despite a full mouth, taking your time to enjoy your treat - and maybe enjoying watching him relax against the nearby rail, indulging in one of the finger-foods himself. Seeing him relaxed and set against the open sea, wind teasing his blonde hair was quite the sight if you were to be honest.

"Well, that's what friends do," you offered once.you were finished. "Back each other up even if the other is being incredibly stupid." 

His eyes narrowed though his expression was playful. Which did not help your heart fluttering any. 

Oh yes, this was a very stupid idea. On both parts. 

You were not going to join once they got their navigator back. No way. You couldn’t stand being around him day in and day out. 

》°《

You frowned as you saw Sanji leaning against the railing overlooking the main floor of the Baratie, the young teen looking like a love struck idiot. You adjusted the plastic tote of used dishes and silverware in your hip as you approached, looking over the railing.

A group of girls - probably a few years older than you - sitting at one of the center tables. Dressed in beautiful gowns, hair sleek and shiny, and all laughing as they talked amongst themselves. 

It had been the running theme since your parents left you in the care of Zeff while they sailed to Logue town for some convention - apparently not trusting you enough to take you to one of the largest cities of the East Blue. 

You weren't bitter. Not at all.

"You'll just make a fool of yourself," You sighed as you returned to clearing the empty table from the lunch rush, well aware of Sanji's eyes glaring holes into your back. 

"What do you mean by that?" He shot back as he followed you, setting out new dishes and silverware from his own tote. 

"I mean exactly that. If you go down there and even try to talk to them, you'd end up making a fool of yourself. They'll be laughing their heads off." 

"They would not," He defended hotly. "And I would not make a fool of myself. I'd be absolutely charming." 

You laughed at that. Stuck between a kid and a teen, Sanji was anything but charming in your eyes. He had reached a growth spurt, losing some of the baby weight from when you had met him, but now looked like a bean pole with gangly limbs. "Sure, Sanji. Be honest, you haven't even kissed a girl before. How are you going to sweep them off their feet if you have no idea what you're doing?" 

It was fun to watch him turn bright cherry red as he spluttered. "You haven't exactly kissed anyone either, I bet!"

You could feel your own cheeks brighten as you huffed. "That's besides the point! You're the one doing the fawning, not me." 

There was a lull of silence as you worked until the rest of the tables were cleaned and ready for the dinner rush. "You know," Sanji said as you both surveyed your work. "There's an easy solution to our problem." 

You frowned as you looked up at him. "Our problem? I wasn't aware we had a problem." 

There was a pink tinge to his cheeks as he avoided your gaze, itching his neck nervously. "The fact we've never kissed anyone." 

Oh. 

You blushed as you looked away. "I think that's more of a you problem, more than anything." Still, your stomach twisted with butterflies at just the mere thought.  Surely he wasn't implying what your mind was jumping to. 

"I'm just saying if we kissed each other, then that's one less thing to worry about." 

Nope, he was. 

Up until this point, that was something that you had never worried about. Yet here you were, questioning if that was something a girl your age should be worrying about. You hadn't been around a lot of other people in your age group, except Sanji really. 

Did those girls down there already have their first kiss? Were they talking about their boyfriends or girlfriends or whatever? 

You screwed your eyes shut, annoyed at the sudden onslaught of questions your own mind was coming up with. 

"Fuck it," You swore - your parents were going to regret letting you live on the Baratie for a few months because of your new colorful language. 

You sharply turned towards Sanji, grabbing his tie and tugging him closer to press a kiss to his mouth

 Well, you were aiming for his mouth, but being as flustered as you were, it was equal parts his lips and cheek. But it still counted, right? 

"There, happy?" You bit out despite the burn in your cheeks as Sanji stared at you. It didn't help that he looked as startled as you had ever seen him.

"Y-you…"  He stammered for a moment before his brain finally started to work, his eyes narrowing in confusion. "You call that a kiss?"

"My lips touched yours!" You defended huffily. "So yes, I do."

“That was not a kiss,” He argued. “At least, not one that counts.”

“Oh? And who made you the kissing expert?”

As if you weren’t feeling flustered enough, Sanji stepped closer as he cupped your cheek, pinning you with those light blue eyes of his. You couldn’t move as he leaned in, gently pressing his lips to yours. And, okay, it wasn’t bad, but you still didn’t quite see the appeal of it as he pulled away. Granted, the way your heart was pounding painfully in your chest didn’t help matters much.

“That’s a kiss,” He murmured after a moment.  

Your anger rose to protect your honor as you took a step back, “Same thing as what I did. Just slow, like yourself.” 

The soft expression on his face changed as he crossed his arms, “Are you saying you didn’t enjoy it?” 

You shrugged your shoulders, “I mean, it was nothing special.” Honestly, him touching you had made your heart quicken more than the actual kiss itself. It was nothing like the earth-shattering experience your books made it out to be.

“Let me try again,” He insisted, causing you to scoff. 

“No,” You stated, already turning away. “You got two kisses, that’s more than enough.” 

Sanji whined your name as he followed you back towards the kitchens. “C’mon. You’re practically saying I’m a bad kisser!” 

You smirked to yourself as you shot a look over your shoulder. “Well, I mean….” 

The stricken look on your face made you laugh. “I’m kidding, Sanji. It wasn’t bad. I just don’t see the appeal. You’re a playboy, so of course you’d like it. I’m just different from you.” “I’m not a playboy,” He huffed. “Finding women beautiful does not make me one of those. Once I find the one, that’s it. I just… have to find her, is all.”

[criticallyacclaimedstranger]

Not A Day Too Soon [a Frankie x reader fic]

Read on Ao3

My Frankie Morales masterlist

Fandom: Triple Frontier

Ship: Francisco “Catfish” Morales x you (cishet f!reader)

Warnings: friends to lovers, listening to neighbors having sex, fumbling and awkward cuteness, safe sex, cunnilingus, dick riding, no instant orgasms but frankie blows in secret

Summary: You and Frankie have been friends since you were kids. One night when you're watching a movie, your neighbor has loud, obnoxious sex, and one thing leads to another.

Words: 5,043

Halfway through the movie, the first moan reaches through the wall. You can hear it despite the explosions on the TV screen. At first, you try to ignore it, a little embarrassed before Frankie, who’s next to you on the couch. His warm proximity makes you feel flushed, especially when the moans become shriller.

Eventually, Frankie turns his face from the screen to you.

"Every weekend?"

"Sometimes twice in one night," you sigh. "And I think that's only because he blows super fast."

"Must be good pussy," Frankie jokes, but you catch a tinge of red on his cheekbones. A rhythmical knocking begins, a theatrical "Oh my God!" making you roll your eyes.

"She's faking it."

"How do you know?" Frankie elbows you, and you just shoot him a grimace before turning your attention back to the action movie that you've lost the plot of. Usually, you and Frankie like to watch these disasters, comment and laugh at them, but something's different tonight. It's been different for a while, ever since that time you were out with the guys, and you two were the only ones left at your table in that bar, and then an old rock ballad started to play, and Frankie asked you to dance. It had been fun at first, kind of ironically romantic dancing, but then something happened, and Frankie's hands on you felt different. You choked on your laughter and your heart started to hack its way through your ribcage. Frankie's body smelled so good, looked so good, felt so good against yours, he was familiar and safe because he was Frankie Morales whom you had known all your life, yet he was Frankie Morales, someone completely new, exciting, terrifying. He hummed low as he rocked you slowly around in a circle on the small dancefloor, his hands splayed out on your lower back.

You had loved him since you were kids, but that was when you realized that you were in love with him.

Things had been a little awkward since then, and you hadn't met, just the two of you, in the two or three weeks that had passed. Finally, you wrote in the group chat you had with the guys, asking them to come over for a movie night. Everyone except Frankie had plans, and you were screwed.

And now you're sitting here, referencing to him without words about that one ex of yours who couldn't satisfy you but whose feelings you were so scared of hurting that you faked your orgasm every time. Frankie (and the guys) only knew about it after a drunken night when you had just broken up and was lamenting the fact that you had wasted a year on a guy who couldn't make you cum. Benny, Will, and Santi immediately started to advocate for a rebound fuck, but Frankie had been unusually quiet. You didn't end up in bed with anyone but yourself, and only after hurling your guts out in the bathroom, with Frankie holding your hair.

He has always been there for you.

Another wail from the other side of the wall drowns out the action that you're desperately trying to focus on, and Frankie shakes his head. He turns around on the couch and starts to bang at the wall.

"It's no use," you tell him, ”They only get off on it."

"Pervs."

"I know. Just try to ignore it, they'll be done soon."

Frankie looks at you, a boyish smirk on his face.

"You know what we should do?"

"Yes, daddy, fuck me harder!" your neighbor is spurring her partner, and you groan.

"I shudder to think."

"Get back at them."

"How?" you ask suspiciously. Frankie's face scrunches up in the perfect mockery of an orgasm grimace.

"Oh, baby, oh yeah baby, that's it, take it, take it, good girl...!" His voice is exceptionally deep, and it sounds so ridiculous that you start to laugh.

"Frankie, stop it, that's so off-putting!"

"That's the point," he winks before continuing: "Such a good girl, taking my cock like that, oh, yes, yes...!"

He gestures at you to join in, but you're shaking your head vigorously, holding back your laughter.

"No!"

"Come on, you already know how to fake it!"

"Oh yeeees, fuck, YES!!!"

"Asshole!" You shove him roughly, yet with laughter bubbling out of you. Frankie is laughing too, just as the couple on the other side of the wall knock their symphony of creaking and screaming up a notch.

"You're right," Frankie tuts disapprovingly, "she's totally faking it."

"Told you."

You turn back towards the TV with no idea what's going on in the movie. Something about 12 hours to stop a nuclear apocalypse. Or racing cars for money? You don't know anymore. Jason Statham is in it, at least, you recognize him. And that woman... that's... um...

Frankie's hand is on your thigh, and it's making it very hard for you to concentrate.

"Abejita?" That's his nickname for you since you were teenagers. Little bee. Because you were always shorter than him, loved a pair of yellow-and-black-striped pants for years, and wasn't afraid to throw fists when provoked.

You hum to show him you're listening, but keep your eyes fixed on the TV.

"You think we can do better?"

You swallow as you blush, your skin tingling. The woman next door wails.

"What do you mean?" you murmur throatily, your tongue suddenly too thick for your mouth. Frankie clears his throat, suddenly just as bashful as you are.

"I mean... um... fuck, that was a bad way to put it..."

"What?"

"That I love you."

For some reason, you can't look at him, so you keep staring at Jason Statham shooting people left and right. The sex on the other side of the wall goes on, and hearing that in this situation is, frankly, absurd.

Frankie's hand is still burning on your thigh.

"Did I ruin it now?" he asks in a whisper that you can barely hear. You finally tear yourself away from the screen, and meet his hesitating, warm brown eyes. God, his eyes are so amazing. How have you never seen them before?

You wet your lips.

"I... I don't know, I... Frankie..."

"Should I go?" His hand finally comes away from your thigh, and you feel bereft of something vital to your existence.

"No..."

"We've been friends forever, but I..." he stumbles over his words, pauses, tries to make a point. "I've always loved you, you know that, but I... think of you all the time, I miss you when I'm shipped out, I keep comparing other women to you but none of them are you... and when we danced that time..."

Your brain starts to scream at you to kiss him, to tell him that you love him too, but suddenly you're thinking of all the things that could go wrong, so you stay in a terrible limbo where you can only listen to him rambling.

"And I know this isn't how I should've told you, I should've asked you out, or at least asked if I could finally kiss you, I've wanted to kiss you for so long, but instead I made it sound like all I wanted was sex, and..."

"You want to kiss me?" you blurt out, and Frankie finally shuts up. He stares at you, mouth open, still for a moment before nodding slowly. Your stomach twists, and a warmth spreads in you while you also shiver.

"I want to kiss you," he confirms hoarsely but surely. You swallow.

"Okay."

"Okay?"

"Okay."

"What... what does that mean? Can I... or do you want to... Okay?"

You bark a nervous laugh. "Kiss me."

He immediately scoots closer, his warmth and scent overpowering you as he gently places his hand on your cheek. He may take that step, but you're the one to press you lips to his for the kiss that you yourself have thought about for longer than you care to admit.

You've kissed him countless times, always on the cheek, sometimes your lips barely touching, sometimes it's been a loud smack. He's done the same to you, but you've never kissed him like this: slow, tentative, sweet, and arousing in its gentle exploration. Your hand lands softly on his broad shoulder as you lean in, your chest brushes against his and Frankie slides his hand to the back of your neck where he cups you carefully, not forcing you into him but keeping you where you are, like if he's afraid that you'll run away. He tastes good, a little buttery from the popcorn both of you ate, a hint of beer from the glass he hasn't touched much. His lips are surprisingly soft, the lower one plump and lovely as it puckers against your lips, the little patch of facial hair just underneath it scratchy in a titillating way.

The couple next door come to an impressive finish, after which it turns eerily quiet despite Jason Statham running away from another explosion on screen. And you think that this is ridiculous. What the hell are you doing here kissing Frankie?

You sit back, biting into your lower lip, eyes cast down as you try to slow down your wildly beating heart, and make sense of your thoughts.

"You okay?" Frankie asks. You hear the worry in his voice, and you clear your throat.

"I think... it would be best if you left, Frankie."

You force yourself to sound practical and unperturbed, but you're really not so sure about this as you seem. Frankie looks confused but gentleman as he is, he rises from the couch.

"Okay?"

"I'm sorry," you say, putting on a brave smile. "I just don't think it's a good idea."

He nods but doesn't hide his devastation.

"I'm sorry, too," he offers before quickly setting off for the front door and leaving without another word.

You are left sitting alone on your couch, the stupid movie still playing before you. Annoyed, you grab the remote and turn the TV off. The silence is almost deafening, but then you hear Frankie's truck start outside, and drive away.

Even when upset, Frankie drives evenly, economically. He always impresses you with his level-headedness.

You get up, take the popcorn bowl and your half empty beers to the kitchen, and dispose of them. You then start to wash the dishes, but that feels like a stupid thing to do after having broken someone's heart.

Why would you let someone like Frankie go? What the hell are you afraid of?

You walk up to the living-room window and look out, as if expecting to see Frankie's truck still outside on the parking lot, which it of course isn't. Before you know it, you're holding your phone, having tapped open Frankie's number.

He picks up after one signal.

"Frankie," you immediately say, "please come back."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes. I'm sorry, I'm a dumb bitch, you have to come back."

"Making a U-turn as we speak."

"And Frankie..."

"Yeah?"

You blush a little, thinking of the contents - or lack - of your bedside table drawer.

"Could you... pick up condoms?"

You're pretty sure you can hear him gulp.

"7-11 coming up. I'll be back in ten."

You hang up, and nine minutes later, you hear Frankie's truck again. This time he's in a hurry: moments later, when you open the door and find him waiting outside, he's panting. You step back and let him in, and he cups your face, searching your eyes.

"Are you sure this time?" he asks breathlessly. Your smile is slightly trembling, not from uncertainty, but from hurry and nerves.

"I am."

He kisses you with dry, tender lips, tasting and testing, like you never kissed less than half an hour ago. As you start to melt into him, you can't help but smile. Eventually, Frankie pulls back and looks at you, a smile playing on his own lips.

"What?"

"I'm just... happy," you tell him, your smile growing wide as your stomach fills with butterflies. "It's silly, I know, but..."

"It's not silly," he shakes his head. "I'm really happy too. I've wanted this for a long time, sweetheart."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah."

You kiss him again before taking his hand and leading him to the bedroom. His smile dies down a little when he looks from you to the bed, but you see that he's only revering the situation.

"You sure?" he asks in a low voice. You blush a little.

"Did you bring rubbers?"

"I did." He pats his pocket. You kiss him again and start to unbutton his denim shirt.

"I'm sure."

You help each other get undressed, stumbling over pants legs and giggling breathlessly between kisses as you catch each other from falling. Frankie was always a safe space for you but now his warm, broad embrace feels even more like home, but in a new, exciting way. For each kiss and garment that gets discarded on the floor, you grow more secure and less nervous, and by the time you're in your underwear, you're straddling him on the bed, more confident than ever. Frankie wets his lips, his eyes fixed on your chest as you reach behind your back to unhook your bra. He's already hard underneath you but when he sees your tits released from the bra cups, it's like he swells up another size.

"Abejita..."

"Isn't it a little weird for you to use that name in bed?" you tease him. "You've called me that since we were fourteen."

"And what makes you think I haven't hoped for this since then?" he replies, reaching up to cup your tits. You let out a little moan when his thumbs brush over your hardening nipples.

"Have you?"

Frankie searches your face, hesitating a little. You close your fingers loosely around his wrists, suddenly wary.

"You haven't waited for this for years, have you?" you whisper. "While we both were dating other people? You didn't wait for me while you were planning to spend the rest of your life with Gloria? Because that's just sad."

He shakes his head. "No, not then... but for a couple of years, maybe. I don't know, sweetheart, but you've always been there for me when those relationships crashed, especially after Gloria, and maybe I just hoped, for a second..."

"Yeah," you nod, "I know."

You move your hands over his, guiding his fingers to sink into the flesh of your breasts, and Frankie exhales in a sigh at your softness. The next sound to come out of him is a hissed moan when you rub yourself against his hard length.

"Baby," you pleads, thumbs brushing over your nipples. "Christ, you're beautiful. I want you so much."

"I can tell," you grin, leaning into his hands as yours come down to his chest to support you in slowly dragging your still clad but drenched apex along the hard outline of his cock in his boxers. You've caught glimpses of that bulge through the years, but never really thought about it in that way before. It was Frankie, your best friend, and he was a man, so he had a dick, there was nothing weird about that. Now you wonder how you managed to stay so cool about it: the mere size of it is enough to make you clench in anticipation.

"I want you too," you tell him before getting up on your knees, and pulling down his boxers. His cock springs free, thick and veiny, the head glistening with precum as it strains upwards towards his stomach.

"Oh," you hear yourself say, in a weird tone. Frankie laughs nervously.

"Not big enough?"

"Oh shut up..." You slap him gently on the thigh, enjoying how his whole body trembles at the impact, and then help him kick off the boxers before you settle over his thighs again. Frankie bites into his lower lip as you regard his cock like you're unsure how to attack it.

"I'm not sure I'll be able to take this," you eventually confess with a wry smile that makes Frankie relax.

"I'll help you, I promise. And if you can't... well, that's fine too."

"I want to."

"Me too, but let's take on thing at a ti- mmmohmygod..."

The sounds you conjure out of the man underneath just by taking a hold of his cock and pumping it a couple of times are intoxicating. He stares at you, mesmerized, as you use both hands to stroke him.

"Sweetheart... abejita... Christ, don't embarrass me by making me blow too soon..."

"I have faith that you'll last longer than the guy next door," you tease him, and Frankie groans, covering his face with his hands.

"Thanks for reminding me, that's so off-putting."

You chuckle huskily but you're really quite nervous about how to fit this monster inside you. You don't know how, but Frankie seems to pick up on it. Sitting up, he brings you against his chest, making you let go of him.

"We'll do fine," he tells you in a low voice. "I'll make sure you're wet enough."

Your cunt bottoms out at how low his voice drops, and you lick your lips.

"I'm pretty wet already."

"I'll get you wetter."

There's a quiet confidence in his voice that you recognize as something so quintessentially, faithfully, wonderfully Frankie. Gently, he lays you down and kisses you, moaning low into your mouth when you comb your fingers through his hair. Jesus, how have you never heard him moan before? What took you so goddamn long?

"Can I go down on you?" he whispers, and you clench again. "I really wanna go down on you, baby, I wanna make you feel good."

"Yes, please, Frankie!" You pull him to you for a desperate kiss before you push him down your body, catching his grin as he trails little kisses over your tits and stomach.

"Let me know how I'm doing, okay, sweetheart?"

"So far, so good..."

You had gathered from the banter between the guys, and from some of Frankie's more outspoken exes, that he knew his way around giving oral, but you're still nervous. Or maybe you're nervous because you know he's supposed to be good, or maybe you're just nervous.

Frankie must sense the tension in your thigh, because he looks up at you.

"Is this okay?"

You nod quickly, but he props himself up on his elbows.

"If you're not into this..."

"I am," you blurt out, "it's just... a little weird, okay? An hour ago you were my best friend, and now you're about to lick my pussy?"

He laughs at that, and you catch a twinge of nerves from him as well. That makes you feel more at ease.

"The two are not mutually exclusive," he points out, and you smile sheepishly.

"I really want it, Frankie."

"And you'll have it."

You knew, you had your suspicions, but holy fucking shit, you were not prepared for the onslaught of his tongue and lips. It doesn't take you long to reach the same volumes your neighbor was performing at earlier, but you're definitely not faking it, Frankie's making sure of that.

And maybe that's the problem: that you sound just like your neighbor's date, and that Frankie is trying so hard to conjure the most depraved sounds from you. No matter how good it feels, how devoted he is between your legs, how long he keeps at it, you don't feel any closer to orgasm than you did when he first started. After an embarrassingly long time, you draw a deep breath.

"Frankie...?" Your voice is trembling from pleasure, and Frankie replies with only a hum against your wet folds. You stroke your hand over his hair and give him a little nudge.

"Frankie... please, you need to stop."

His head pops up immediately, chin glistening obscenely.

"You okay?" he wants to know, crawling up to gently cup your cheek. You immediately put your hand over his to take it away before he has a chance to notice how hot your cheek is.

"Yeah, I just... I don't think I can climax," you mumble. His brows knit in concern.

"Was I doing something wrong? Was I too rough?"

"Jesus Christ, Frankie, no!" you hurry to reassure him, terrified to make him feel bad. He so easily puts all the world's worries on his own shoulders.

"You did perfectly, I just, it's a weird situation, I mean, I want this, but it's just..." You try desperately to find the right word. "It's sudden. It happened so quickly."

"Too quickly?" he asks quietly. Now it's your turn to cup his cheek.

"No," you tell him with conviction, your thumb caressing his scratchy cheek. "It wasn't quick enough, we waited for way too long."

The dimple in his cheek appears when he smiles. "I'd want for you to cum."

"It's okay, you can make it up to me later."

"I like that..." He dips down to kiss you, and you wrap your arms around his neck to pull him closer. His hard cock is wedged between the two of you and there is nothing you want more than for him to fuck you, orgasm or not.

"I want you, you tell him breathlessly between the kisses. "Stop asking if it's okay, it's more than okay."

He chuckles, and props himself up to look around for his pants, finding them on the floor. He smacks a kiss onto your lips before crawling to the edge of the bed for them.

"Don't move."

You giggle and slap his ass, grinning cheekily when he turns to glare at you.

"I always thought you have a cute ass," you defend yourself, and Frankie shakes his head as he looks for the condoms in his pants pocket.

"My pancake ass."

He returns to you with the pack of rubbers, a slight tinge on his cheekbones.

"I'll put in implants if you want me to," he jokes, but you shake your head vigorously.

"Are you crazy? I love your pancake butt. Don't you dare do anything to that perfection."

"Much obliged."

You sit up and help him roll on the condom, using that as an excuse to get to touch his thick dick again. Frankie sits back and exhales in a low moan.

"God, baby... your hands feel so good on me... can't wait to be inside you."

"If I can take it." You're only half joking. He kisses you sweetly.

"I know you can."

It's a tight fit, that's for sure. He inches into you so very slowly, but it's still almost too much.

"It's too big," you whimper, delirious from the stretch. Frankie groans.

"Sweetheart, that's just the head."

"Fuck."

"Just relax, you can take it, I know you can."

Frankie's right, of course. When he's finally sheathed in you, both of you are breathing in shallow gulps, and Frankie's forehead is covered by a thin sheet of sweat.

"You okay?" he asks hoarsely. You run your hands up his sides.

"Yeah, I'm good, but Jesus that's big."

He preens a little, but you can tell he's concerned for you.

"It's okay, Frankie," you assure him, wrapping your legs around his thighs. "It's okay, I'm good, you're good."

He swears in another moan and it's the sexiest sound you've ever heard. Your hands come to his buttocks and push down.

"Fuck me," you ask him, and he starts to move almost immediately. You moan loudly as his veiny cock drags through your slick walls. Frankie kisses your breath away while he himself struggles for air, staying up on his elbows as he ruts into you, meticulously and steadily, like he does everything else. God, you could just melt underneath him, but instead you hold onto him, surrender your kisses to him, and listen to him rambling on about how good you feel and how crazy you make him. It takes you a little while to realize that he's speaking Spanish. You kiss his sweaty forehead and whimper when he slips out.

"Frankie...!"

"I know, abejita, I know, but I'm just trying to make it last," he pants, scattering little kisses all over your face. "I want it to last forever."

Your heart swells, and you swallow hard. "We got time, Frankie."

"I know, I just want it to be special."

"It is special."

He covers your mouth with his but the kiss is brief: he's too out of breath. You reach down between the two of you to find him and nock him at your entrance again before rubbing your clit with two fingers. As Frankie resumes his sweet pace, you clench hard and throw your head back.

"Goddddd, Frankie...!"

"Fuck, you're tight like this..."

"I need you to go harder!"

He complies immediately with a growl, and it sets off a pull in you as you rub your clit furiously. He buries his face in the crook of your neck, his breath is hot on your skin as he does his best to keep thrusting, but when you whimper More, harder, faster he grabs hold of you and rolls around, settling you on top. You sink down on him, gasping as his impressive inches invade you, but then Frankie pulls you down over him, making you hover just an inch or two above him, and starts to thrust up into you desperately. You shout in pleasure and surprise at the desperate bucking, the way his cock assaults you, so demanding in its hardness and size, yet not enough, you need more, you need him inside you for the rest of the night.

He’s huffing out your name with every breath, blending it with curses and blessings alike in moaned cries as he holds onto you like he’s never going to let go. His chest is slippery with sweat but you still press your tits against it, desperate to keep all of you connected to all of him, and when you cover his mouth with yours for a sloppy kiss, he doesn’t stop rambling but lets you swallow every word of praise along with the kiss.

For a moment it’s so fantastic that you feel like you’re in a movie, like this isn’t happening for real, it can’t, this can’t be you friend Frankie underneath you fucking you like it’s his only mission in life, this isn’t you riding his big dick until you’re howling. Your pussy tightens and heats up in the first sweet signs of an orgasm, and you sit up, slamming Frankie’s pelvis to the mattress as you ride him frantically, hands slipping on his chest until you sit up straight and try to manage without support. Frankie immediately grabs your hands, fingers interlocking with yours, and provides the brace you need to ride yourself home.

When the orgasm finally comes to steal you away, Frankie’s there to keep you anchored to him. It’s not the best one you’ve had in your life; it’s rather short and explosive, but it feels complete in a very satisfying way. Your chest meets Frankie’s, two frenzied hearts beating in unison, as you try to catch your breath, sweat plastering your hair over your face. When you’ve come down enough to move, your hips are sore and your pussy even sorer, and you inelegantly slide down from Frankie  onto your side and try to comb the hair away from your face. Frankie helps you, a dreamy smile curving his lips up.

“That was wild,” he mumbles, and you giggle a little awkwardly.

“I don’t know what came over me.”

“Whatever it was, it certainly came.”

“Oh, haw-haw…”

He presses his dry lips to yours, effectively silencing any further protests, before sitting up with a groan and taking off the condom. You don’t know why it is so embarrassing, but you blush a little when you look at the now sad-looking rubber with white goo at the tip.

“When did you cum?” you blurt out, and Frankie chuckles as he ties the condom and gets up to dispose of it.

“Almost the minute you got on top, sweetheart.”

You give up a small laugh, the tension eases a little, and you ogle his ass when he walks out of the bedroom. When he returns, you’ve kicked the covers to side and have made room for him next to you.

“No regrets?” he asks you as he pulls you to his sweaty body. You kiss the tip of his sharp nose.

“None at all. I love you, Frankie. I’m in love with you.”

The lamp light reflects in his eyes as his swallows. “I love you, too, abejita. I can’t believe this really happened.”

“We can make it happen again,” you tease, pinching his nipple to make him groan. “Just need to recover a little.”

“Sounds like a plan,” he murmurs, threading his fingers through your hair and finding your lips for a long, sweet kiss.

A creak travels from the other side of the wall to your bedroom, and after that, a rhythmic thumping. Then, a loud moan. Frankie lifts his head from the pillow and stares at the wall, a frown knitting his brows together. He then looks quizzically at you.

"I told you," you giggle, "Sometimes twice in one night."

"Can't have that,” he shakes his head. “We need to top that. Get ready for two more times, gorgeous.”

“I don’t think I can take that cock three times in one night,” you grin, but you’re already feeling a surge between your legs.

“We’ll train hard,” Frankie promises with a leer that makes you want to start already.

“Other neighbors are gonna start to complain. We’re all gonna get evicted.”

“You can move to my place,” he volunteers readily. “You can move in tomorrow if you want to, baby, I love you and I want to be with you all the time.”

The woman next door wails, and you blush a little because you know you must have sounded like her only a while ago.

"If my neighbor doesn't dump her soon, I just might come and live with you.”

“The sooner the better,” Frankie tells you, and pulls the covers over both of you to make a cocoon for only the two of you.

[audiblehush]

Listen, Polin has been my Roman Empire for months now, but this fandom is WILDIN’.

Chunks of this fandom who claim to be Polin fans seem to hate either Colin or Penelope and I’m just like… why are you here, then, if you refuse to empathize or even TRY to understand either critical half of the pairing?

“Colin can’t see what’s in front of him and he insulted her in front of his peers!! GROVEL; I hope Pen moves onto Debling!!!”

First of all, you’re not a Polin fan if you hate Colin so much you want her to move on to someone else. Second of all: yeah, no. Yes,Colin put his foot in his mouth, arguably in a big way because of status, but plenty of people in real life have experienced saying something that came off poorly to a group of people. Everything we know about Colin’s character tells us he is going to feel horrible about it; he’ll apologize, MEAN IT, and she’ll forgive him. She has her own apologies to make.

Believe it or, it is NORMAL for people to grow into romantic feelings slowly. Stop punishing Colin for discovering who he is by experiencing his own character arc with his own mistakes. He’s allowed to have flaws; he’s allowed to work through his insecurities!

Tbh, most of the criticisms I see of Colin are pretty surface-level and petty, so I don’t give them much real estate in my brain because they’re just… bad, lol.

On the flip side -

“Penelope feels entitled to Colin’s feelings; she’s selfish and the fucking worst!!”

S3 Penelope: *overhears Colin say he would never court her; BELIEVES him - decides she’s going to stop wasting her time, move on, and look for a serious suitor and marriage prospect a) as is expected of her in this era and b) so that she has security, especially considering her family’s dire financial straits.*

“Oh my GOD, this is so anti-Polin, how could she POSSIBLY even THINK about accepting a proposal from anyone but Colin?! GTFO”

SIGH, 1) we have NO IDEA how this plot line is going to pan out: Lord Debling may or may not be serious about her, we don’t know what that even looks like, or for how long. The show synopsis historically likes to play with the fandom expectations a lot. He may possibly propose… and if he does, it would clearly exist as a sort of parallel to S1…. but 2) GOD FORBID Penelope entertain the idea, despite very real fears and evidence that would lead her thinking it would likely be her ONLY proposal… or that even if Colin proposed post heavy-petting session, how on EARTH could she think that he would be doing it out of honor-bound obligation and not love. 🙄 Her potentially considering a proposal isn’t anti-Polin; it’s a realistic response and consideration to two (and likely an additional half) seasons worth of external and internal stressors that are tying into her character development.

Penelope’s heart is fragile for a multitude of reasons due to her home life, her prior experiences with Colin and Eloise AND the rest of the ton - it’s incredibly frustrating for people to ignore why she would potentially not believe Colin even if he DID confess / give her a marriage proposal, just like it’s frustrating when people don’t try to understand why Colin might struggle with his own feelings.

Some of y’all really don’t understand people like Penelope who have been told their entire lives that they are not enough, are terrified of putting themselves out there by being emotionally vulnerable and potentially rejected for the fundamental aspects of who they are… even though some of y’all claim to identify with Colin when he has his OWN STRUGGLES WITH SOME OF THESE SAME FEARS. And it’s almost worse because Pen is painfully SHY: You don’t just magically become confident one day because you decided to be; it is a constant battle against negativity that eventually becomes heavily internalized… it takes years of work unlearn those thought patterns, especially when you’re surrounded by people insulting and rejecting your to your face (her family) or behind your back (the way the ton talks about her family… it’s likely Pen heard gossip about herself, whether individually or as an extension of her family PLENTY)… with an added dose of also being ignored when not actively insulted.

It would not shock me at ALL if Penelope genuinely considers a Debling proposal. All of Colin’s actions in S1 and S2 have ultimately taught her that he is never going to return her feelings; she is likely going to be pretty oblivious to his own romantic realizations this season because why would she look for or entertain those hopes again? Some of y’all complain that she is selfish about Colin’s romantic feelings (which lol, I disagree strongly, but sure hypothetically, I’ll allow it) … so then when she tries to move on by listening to him and his actions she’s suddenly… punishing him and undeserving of him?? When she would have every reason to be skeptical of these feelings coming from seemingly nowhere when he starts of the season trying to find her a husband? NAH fam, she’s doing what anyone with any sense of emotional self-preservation would do: move on and try to be content, even if she knows she’ll always love Colin in her heart.

AND even if Penelope develops potentially fond feelings for Debling… do you really think it’s unrealistic for a 19 year old young woman who has done nothing but pine over a man who is oblivious to it (or worse, finds a romantic relationship with you laughable… in her eyes), who has not had ANYONE be romantically interested her… to maybe get a little fluttery around someone who is reasonably nice looking and shows her genuine interest right off the bat? Spoiler Alert: that is probably exactly what would happen because it’s a heady feeling!!!

This entire plotline is either a parallel to the Marina situation, or a reference to the book line that basically has Colin going “Oh shit, what if I had never realized Pen is the love of my life?? What if someone else had seen how amazing she was and snatched her up??” - Maybe it’s even both! Deep breath: it’s a just plot device for Polin to realize they’re made for each other.

Colin and Pen are going to be on their own journeys this season that fly in the face of what the other is going through. Colin is grappling with newfound romantic feelings for Penelope (while likely struggling to trust them because he thought he loved Marina but lol no he didn’t, so how is he supposed to know???) while also battling against former (and potentially current) impulsive actions… and Penelope is fighting for her LIFE trying to bury her feelings and move on because she’s trying to protect her heart because Colin literally said out loud he’d never want her AND she’s likely thinking of her security. They are both grappling with internal conflicts that oppose the other and THAT is what is going to make the tension and development so good… and that’s without even addressing all the LW stuff that needs to get worked through!

I need y’all to flex that empathy muscle a little and realize that this isn’t about fucking fan-service, or you projecting your own experiences onto these characters (or even the weird self-insert “I am/want to be this character” or “I want to fuck this character”) - you can relate to these characters but ultimately it’s about the STORY - it’s about exploring these characters realistically in how they would react to their own traumas and lived experiences, and how what they think they want/need comes into conflicts with their counterparts.

This is a romantic DRAMA, and these characters are going to have their ups and downs… and it’s a Shondaland drama for better or worse, so you KNOW it’s going to get messy (good lord just look at S2 and how far that “love” triangle went… I’m hopeful for the new show runner because she’s a fan).

Polin will be canon because they unreservedly CHOOSE the other and it will be glorious, so everybody chill the fuck out and stop shitting on my imperfect, emotionally fragile yet beautifully relatable, evolving lovers. They are the BEST fucking ship, but most of this fandom doesn’t deserve them tbh. They’re both messes in their own ways, and honestly? If they were real, neither Colin nor Penelope would tolerate this slander y’all are throwing at the other.

LEAVE COLIN AND PENELOPE ALONE AND LET THEM MUDDLE THEIR WAY TO TRUE LOVE. 🤬

[welcometothejianghu]

Welcome to another round of W2 Tells You What You Should See, where W2 (me) tries to sell you (you) on something you should be watching. Today's choice: 民国奇探/My Roommate is a Detective.

My Roommate is a Detective is a 2020 drama about the Jazz Age shenanigans of a terrible OT3: a useless noodle boy, a spoiled journalist girl, and a handsome thug-turned-cop, who together solve Agatha Christie mysteries in 1920s Shanghai.

I mean, seriously, have you ever wondered what Hercule Poirot would be like if he were a 6'2" Chinese rubber man? If he had a long-suffering sugar daddy from the wrong side of the tracks and a spunky sugar mommy who owned their shared apartment? The answer is, it would be a laugh-out-loud-funny series about a ridiculous and charming assortment of weirdos solving only slightly believable murder mysteries in charming period clothing.

This is another one of those shows where I'm kind of shocked at how not well-known it is, except I'm not, because I can see exactly the problems that keep fandom from descending on it like horny little vultures. Nonetheless, I think it's a good time that more people would enjoy if they gave it the chance. Here's five reasons why you should:

1. Equal parts smart as heck and dumb as butts

On the one hand, especially given its tone and tenor, this show has many surprisingly clever turns and thoughtful moments, carried along by some talented actors. On the other hand, [.gif of a guinea pig in a rollerskate being pushed merrily down a hallway]

This show is not a complicated intellectual exercise. It's an action comedy about a goofy sleuth, a rich-girl reporter, and the cop who should be the straight man in this trio, except he's as much of a goober as the other two are. If the promotional tableaus are giving you real "cover of a Clue box" vibes, you've understood the kind of pastiche it's pulling off.

The mysteries are preposterous. They're all the kind of thing that exemplify the Doyle line about how, when you've eliminated the impossible, whatever's left has got to be the answer, no matter how ding-dang improbable it may be. You know the type: tons of overly elaborate setups, unbelievably perfect timing, coincidental long-lost relatives, people hallucinating right and left. They're also very short -- most full cases take only 2-3 episodes to introduce, investigate, and resolve, even when interspersed with the larger goings-on in these weirdos' lives. The DramaWiki page for the show lists 23 separate arcs over 36 episodes, so you do the math.

And yet, it's way more thoughtful and clever than its doofy little setup would indicate. Its attention to detail surprised me on more than one occasion. Add to that a bunch of solid performances from an ensemble of real characters, and what you get is definitely more substantive than a junk-food waste of time. You can't turn your brain off while watching it, but you sure can turn it down, and that's great.

It also doesn't hurt that everyone is super attractive and wearing great outfits. The whole show's worth it for the wardrobes.

2. THE GIRL

Fuck the haters, fuck everyone, I am going to climb right up on my little soapbox and tell you all why Bai Youning is awesome.

She is insane. She's a troll. She's a clever little monster. Every other character's response to her is, oh my god, you are literally the worst. And she is! She has been spoiled beyond belief by her incredibly rich Crime Dad, and she has learned to leverage her uwu just a widdle girl status to get her whatever the hell she wants. She simply cannot hear it when someone says the word "no." She will look her future sister-in-law in the eye and point a loaded gun at her own head without blinking. Every ball she has is made of brass.

She's hardly perfect. During the course of the show, there are some times where her entitlement runs face-first into the brick wall of reality. She's not nearly as good at her chosen career path as she's been told (mostly by the people who get paid to tell her she's good). She's rarely prepared to deal with the consequences of her actions, especially when she can't just throw money at the problem.

So she learns, and grows, and changes. She's always going to be a stubborn bitch, but she can become a stubborn bitch with a more accurate conception of her relationship to the world around her.

She's actually a really good romantic foil for Lu Yao, who is equally stubborn and spoiled and obnoxious as hell. It is a pure brat4brat relationship, where each one thrives on comically enraging the other. What this means, though, is that when they actually start showing one another some vulnerability, it's really sweet.

Now: I'm pretty sure that you could not have made a female character in her position that everyone did not hate, no matter how cool you made her, because that is the fate of all girls who theoretically keep the two boys from kissing. (More on that next point.) If she were less outgoing and friendly, she would've been hated for being too cold. If she were less headstrong, she would've been hated for being a pushover. If she weren't as into the boy, she would've been hated for being frigid. I know the "god forbid a woman do anything" meme is a joke, but ... man, god forbid this girl do anything. She gets a level of hate entirely disproportionate to what she's actually like. As I said with Eom Dada, it's not always sexism, but sometimes, yeah, it's sexism.

(Real talk: Her character is also fighting both how she's definitely not written as well as the boys are and how the plot sometimes needs her to be artificially stupid and jealous for Straightness Drama Reasons, so that's a legit problem on a structural level. Also, she's dubbed by someone else and the boys aren't, which gives her voice an annoying not-quite-there quality that's hard to ignore. The deck is stacked against her real hard even before she steps onscreen.)

So here's my advice: Go into this show wanting to like her. Embrace her terribleness as a positive, intentional quality. Don't be mad at her for straightening up an endgame that was never going to be gay, even without her. Welcome her contributions to the chaos. Realize that she is exactly as entertainingly irritating as her boys are.

Truly, this is a story of three terrible people in love. They're all just awful, and you wouldn't want to be in a room with any of them for longer than you had to. Left to right up there, Bai Youning is spoiled and self-absorbed, Lu Yao is arrogant and lazy, and Qiao Chusheng is suuuuuch a fucking cop. If you're into the kind of dynamic that can only be described OT3: You All Deserve One Another, then this one's perfect for you.

3. Do you really miss '00s queerbaiting?

Like, really? Are you just super-nostalgic for being able to see the showrunners go, ha ha, girls, we know you're watching and we know you want these cute boys to kiss, which they never will -- but what if we pretended for just this one scene??? Do you just carnally ache for that with every fiber of your being?

Yep.

Now, why am I calling the occasional really gay moments between these two gentlemen "queerbaiting" and not "bromance"? Because these moments are a) obviously intentional, b) completely sporadic, and c) never spoken of again.

For example: There's a scene (which you can see a gifset of here) where the two of them are at a restaurant frequented by the cop, who brings a lot of ladies there on dates. When the waiter points this out, useless noodle boy says, I'm his date. The waiter looks mildly surprised by this, the cop says not to listen to his bullshit, and that's the end of it. The scene moves on. There is no further discussion of this comment. It does not affect their relationship.

That's the essence of queerbaiting: that little on-purpose nod to the homoerotic tension between the two, in a way that isn't a joke but also isn't not a joke, and either way is never going to happen. (In fact, the show is going to go out of its way to make sure that ship gets sunk, so, uh, get your fanfiction lifeboats ready for that.)

A true queerbaiting move is something that should make a difference in a relationship, but doesn't. It should make a difference that our cop is so comfortable in the noodle boy's personal space that he invades it at will. It doesn't. It should make a difference that noodle boy keeps getting real weird every time the cop has a date with a girl. It doesn't. Those are some real romantic moves the two of them keep pulling, and then nothing comes of them.

I had this show sold to me as being incredibly shippy, to the point of being even more so than its censored-BL contemporaries. And ... well, it is and it isn't. It has textually gayer individual moments, but it is much less pervasively gay. It's clear from the start that it's going to throw all its actual relationship points into its canon het romance. When it comes to these boys, the show is toying with you. It knows you want to see those boys smooch, just as much as it knows (and it knows you know) they're never gonna.

How you feel about this is entirely up to you -- and indeed, it may be a dealbreaker on the whole drama for you. If you are inclined to pitch a fit when your ship does not become canon, you'll be happier somewhere else. If, however, you see this as a delightful opportunity to do whatever the hell you want with the situation as it is presented, all the while enjoying little moments of startlingly blatant homoeroticism between two handsome dudes, well, here you are!

(I mean, if you want my take on it, what needs to happen is that the cop and the girl need to fuck while the useless noodle boy watches with asexual bisexual interest, and then they all need to snuggle with the noodle boy in the middle so they can both annoy him appropriately, but your mileage may vary.)

4. The multicultural extravaganza!

1920s Shanghai had a lot going on in terms of cultures and languages, and this show actually does a fair job of representing that.

By now, I've seen a number of shows set during this era, and they all at least acknowledge the international nature of the city -- usually by mentioning the French Concession and having a handful of evil Japanese characters. However, this is the first time I've seen a show go to such lengths to actually show so many non-Chinese characters onscreen, even to the point of making one a recurring character supporting the main squad.

Salim is the best. Whatever he is being paid, it's not enough. He's Qiao Chusheng's right-hand man, which means he is also the dude who most often has to put up the main trio's bullshit. (The actor himself is also a dude with a pretty cool backstory, which is another great layer.) He's sharp, he's loyal, he's patient, and he looks great with his shirt off. He's got it all!

Other non-Chinese characters include a white Jewish art collector (I'd issue a warning for period-typical antisemitism, except �� honestly, it's mostly just confused), a sadistic priest who maybe is supposed to be Italian, a completely different priest who [last episode spoiler], and three whole sinister white dudes behind it all.

It's not just the world coming to China, though! A large number of the Chinese characters are said to have spent significant time outside of China, whether for business or for schooling. Near the end, when some characters are discussing moving away from Shanghai, they consider a number of foreign cities as potential destinations.

Here's a delightful detail: When Lu Yao and his sister speak English, they're dubbed by actors with posh British accents who sound like native (or near-native) English-speakers. This makes perfect sense, because both of the siblings did a lot of their schooling in the UK. When Bai Youning speaks English, she's dubbed by someone who speaks English very well but also has a noticeable Chinese accent, which makes perfect sense for her character's background. And Qiao Chusheng never speaks English at all, because he's a street tough who has no reason to know more than three words.

...This is also kind of weird to say about something literally made in China, but go with me on it: Everything's kind of got that Art Deco Orientalist vibe to it. It looks like China's idea of what Britain's idea of China during that period would have looked like. The result comes across less like what 1920s Shanghai would actually have looked like, and more what an ad for 1920s Shanghai would have looked like. It's a fascinating aesthetic, and more so for how it's mostly pretty subtle. The show isn't some visual extravaganza, but it's always very nice to look at, and I appreciate that in a show.

5. A wonderful horrible protagonist

A lot of mystery-themed prestige television involves an asshole genius detective who gets away with being a dick to everyone because he's sooooo smart, while all his long-suffering friends and colleagues spend a lot of time doing damage control for him because, sigh, he's an asshole but we need him, genius excuses all dickhead behavior, we'll always make exceptions for him because he's just ever so special. (Watch histrionic sage hbomberguy's video on Sherlock if you're unfamiliar with the trope.)

Lu Yao is an asshole genius detective, but one who winds up spending most of his time being an asshole to a) people who deserve it, or b) his horrible friends who will be assholes right back at him. When he is awful to the people who don't deserve it, the show smacks him pretty hard on the nose for it and makes him apologize.

This is a show where you'll figure out pretty quckly if you'll love it or hate it, because if you love Lu Yao, you'll love it, and vice versa. He carries most of the show himself, with his goofy charm and his incredibly bendy slenderman body and his ability to make the one competent person he knows both protect him and give him money.

Like so.

For my own part, I find him intensely charming, and I think a lot of this has to do with Hu Yitian's ability to play him as an affectionately bullyable weenie who needs to get shoved in a locker for his own good. He's the worst, and it's comically endearing instead of offputting because at the end of the day, he really does have a good heart. He's just also lazy as heck and disinclined to do anything that he does not want to be doing, and really, aren't we all?

As I alluded to in point 3, he comes across as real asexual. He's just not that interested in sex, and he is in fact pretty uncomfortable in situations where he finds himself the subject of someone else's sexual desires. He's perfectly capable of romantic feelings! I mean, not only does he get Bai Youning as a love interest, we actually meet one of his ex-girlfriends. He's just not partciularly horny about them -- which is even more noticeable as a sharp contrast to how extremely horny Qiao Chusheng is for just about everyone, but this exasperating little dork in particular.

(Like seriously, 90% of the time, Chusheng is about to explode with sexual frustration at Lu Yao's skinny oblivious ass.)

This isn't to say you couldn't get Lu Yao into bed, because you absolutely could, and he'd probably have a good time. You'd just have to remove all distractions from the room, lest his ADHD ass wind up running off to solve a crime mid-coitus.

Twiggy little nightmare man. Garbage-animal boy. Love him.

sidebar: A word about the ending

I'm going to be vague and talk about general vibes instead of specific events, but you should still skip this section if you want to remain completely unspoiled. Jump to the picture of Chusheng holding the sledgehammer.

Okay, so, a lot of people do not like the ending, and I'm including myself in that number. I honestly don't know if they got rushed and had to wrap everything pretty last-minute, or if they thought they might get a second season out of it and were leaving things open-ended accordingly. Either way, it's incredibly unsatisfying.

I think there's a clue that the show didn't actually want to end this way, and it's not actually in the text of the show itself. Every episode, between the last scene and the start of the credits, you get to see a couple still frames from the episode (usually some of the queerbaity ones). After the very final shot of the series, you get two images: the boys hugging goodbye, and Chusheng's upset face. That's not a resolution! That is at best a "to be continued..." ending!

But no, that's it. That's all, folks.

It's not quite an ending so bad it ruins the rest of the show, mostly because it doesn't feel finished, so it's less like you're watching a car being deliberately driven into a wall because someone thought that was the best route to take, and more like you're watching someone leave a car on the railroad tracks because they figured they'd have time to move it later.

As far as I know, there has been no noise made about a second season. These 36 episodes are the entirety of the narrative. It had the distinct misfortune to start airing in March 2020, which wasn't exactly prime time for planning sequels, and that seems to have been that. (There is a 2022 show called Checkmate that stars the two main guys in extremely similar roles, also adapting Agatha Christie stories, but it's apparently pretty meh? Somebody else who's actually seen it, go ahead and weigh in here.)

I'll say that if you turn off the episode right after Lu Yao gets out the handcuffs, you'll save yourself the worst of it the awkward and unsatisfying moments (though I'm impressed at your willpower to stop watching something five minutes from the end). That's not all of it, though. Structurally, there are several situations rushed to a resolution and loose threads left flapping untied in the breeze. I guess stopping before the last five minutes simply saves you the hope that it'll pull a good ending out of the fire, because it won't.

And let's be real: The more you hate Bai Youning and her romance with Lu Yao, the more you'll hate the ending. (Not that liking those elements will necessarily make you like the ending, of course, because I'm a fan of hers and I still think the ending is butts.) The ending is already like a pair of uncomfortable shoes; if the het romance especially makes you grind your teeth, the ending becomes a pair of uncomfortable shoes that also have a rock in them. A lot of the comments online indicate plenty of people dropped the show when they learned the het romance would be endgame. It's a pretty common dealbreaker.

Oh well. Bring on the fanfic, I say! Those of us who are used to taking a sledgehammer to canon are unafraid.

Smash it, baby.

Still want to see some of these mysteries?

Both iQiyi and Viki have the answer to your sleuthing!

It's not a perfect show -- as evidenced by my digression about the ending -- but it's a lot of fun. If you can handle the occasional foible and some eyebrow-raising moments, you're in for a good time with some attractive people that occasionally tastes very gay.

Every roommate crazy 'bout a sharp-dressed man

[m3nt4llyr4v3d]

One thing that kind of (absolutely) bothers me about this show is the weird… avoidance?? Or major mistakes or flaws the characters have??

(This is me going off of the top of my head, and sooooo much personal bias is in this, be warned)

I’ve seen this being talked around the critical tab a bit and I just wanted to ramble: for some odd reason, the show is very consistent with blaming/placing fault on a character’s minor flaws, but the major shortcomings are just brushed aside (this somewhat applies to some parts of the fandom as well)! A few examples I could think of off the top of my head:

Marinette- Marinette’s blamed by the narrative for things she can’t even control or have nothing to do with anything. Like, in Penalteam, where she has to work to be a team player?? Even though in the episodes beforehand Chat’s whole thing was that he felt like he was being replaced/ set aside by the whole team??? At the same time, Derision made every instance of Marinette’s more unsavory acts in regards to Adrien (which was originally absurd comedy) into something serious because it’s a trauma response now! Which means every instance of her doing those things is now under the context of “oh god this is a traumatized teenager potentially breaking the law due to a trauma response and absolutely needs therapy!!”, while also… just… quietly sweeping all that under the rug under the guise of “well she does those things BECAUSE of the trauma” while not acknowledging just how many bad implications are there now. (I could go a full hour talking about how much Derision fucked EVERY. SINGLE. CHARACTER. OVER.) Oh, and her being secretive with Chat for… no reason? This one is kind of acknowledged but also, the crux of the issue is brushed aside in the season 4 finale? Like, in Kuro Neko when Chat is trying to, like alleviate some of her duties by gathering some of the Miraculous cause he also knows some of their identities? And she says no and says he’s wasting her time? I get he was pestering her about it, I do, but the authors were saying that her reasoning with being secretive was that she was had so much responsibility… but when the opportunity arises for someone to alleviate that, she turns it down? (Honestly liked the fanon reason that she was scared of Chat Blanc timeline and him getting to close to her way more)

Adrien- His naivety in specific situations (the whole “taking the high road” advice) being criticized HEAVILY, when it’s kind of understandable he would give that? I get that it’s bad advice in this situation, I don’t think he’s part of the problem for giving it though. But his pushiness towards Ladybug? The godawful communication he had in Season 4 (this is a Ladybug issue too)? Nah, let’s just ignore that. His… really concerning mental health (Guilttrip anyone? I mean he literally tries to cataclysm himself why is no one talking about this?) What are you talkin’ aboutttt, it’s all good here! In fact, we’ll never bring that up again, how does that sound? (Please delve more into that in season 6 dear god)

Chloe- It’s… understandable??? When the show harps on her being a bully I guess?? But the issue I have with that is that the show acts like this is the WORST thing she’s done, being a petty vindictive teenager. The show rarely brings up her failures at being a superhero (for how much some fans bring up the train scene, I’m 1000% sure the show literally forgot) or the fact that she, y’know. Literally betrayed Ladybug and worked with Hawkmoth! For how much the show loves dogging on her and treating her like a secondary villain I’d expect like, a little bit more in showing that off? Also, the literal two grown adults setting her up as a scapegoat for the whole mayor thing, then the show acting like she’s the one at fault still?? And that sending her away with her mother was a good thing????

Gabriel- “Oh he’s too obsessed with his Ladybug to actually save his wife! He’s cold and distant but still loving actually!” What about his neglect? What about him literally ignoring his wife’s wishes (there was no way he didn’t know beforehand I’m sorry)? I genuinely don’t care that he “made the right choice” with his wish, he stabbed Marinette in the back to do so. Literally LOCKED ADRIEN IN A WHITE ROOM AND AT SOME POINT WAS ATTEMPTING TO AKUMATIZE HIM…! But nah, he’s just too ambitious, he’s a loving father, whatareyatalkinabout? He’s a hero! (😨)

Andre (Bourgeois)- “His flaws are that he gave up on his dream to live an unhappy life! Oh but we’re gonna ignore his role as a literal corrupt politician, look he’s redeemed now! He even sent that she-demon Chloe away! What do you mean he literally raised this child to act this way? Nah, everything is Chloe’s fault and we’re not even going to acknowledge his hand in literally raising her with these values since she was basically in elementary school! Look he’s adopting Zoe, isn’t that sweet? Nevermind how we just won’t acknowledge where Mr. Lee is, if he’s alive, or if Zoe is even okay with everything that just happened! (I mean, cmon, she literally lived with Audrey for years, she would reasonably be a little put off by this, even if she thinks Chloe is a lost cause)

These are just a few I could think of, though. Honestly my biggest wish is that the show would stop bringing the character’s least offensive trait/fault (compared to others) and truly acknowledge the worse aspects of them.

Bit that’s just me rambling like a madman, I’d love to know what you guys would think!

[bleachbleachbleach]

Verisimilitude (long thoughts about writing)

Sometimes I get mailed random books to consider for course adoption. The first one I looked at the other day was so incredibly bad I could not make it past page 12--"oh my god I hate books" bad; "trees were wasted on this!!" bad. And then there's this one. I've made it to page 30-something and I could have told you 20 pages ago that Oliver Twist it would remain, but I am still reading it to read it, and maybe keep it to recommend extracurricularly. (The protagonist Alva is a weeb for American culture, whatever the word is for that, which I think could make for interesting study!) But that's all context to say,

AH YES THE INTERNET RABBIT HOLE OF NARUTO FAN FICTION, HENTAILORD. WE'VE ALL BEEN THERE.

SO...

BLEACH MENTION WHEN????

Based on the style of her screen name, the Naruto porn, and her listening to My Chemical Romance and Linkin Park, this girl is definitely living her teenage life in the mid-00s, in ways that are searingly obvious. Which feels like it should be a massive success in terms of using verisimilitude to pinpoint a particular time and place and, by extension, person. But I don't think it does?

In thinking about why this doesn't work for me as a reader:

1. As a general rule, I tend not to enjoy "fandom" subculture references like this in fiction, because they have never felt true to my experience of fandom, or even my experience of others' experiences of fandom. The specificity is there but not the verisimilitude. Whether this is because of an inability to articulate the breath of life that animates fandom spaces, or a feeling of needing to at least kind of translate it for the uninitiated general audience, I don't know. Not that Alva's narrative goes far enough to merit this discussion; she's just reading Naruto porn for one sentence, but it just doesn't land right for me. (Sidebar, this is probably also why I don't enjoy acafandom or fandom essays that aspire to acafandom; there's usually this attempted, manufactured critical/"objective" distance from the text that often feels performative, or at least the wrong [or less interesting] tool for the job. And even where 'in-group' positionality is addressed, the translation required to make these things legible to the out-group is just--well, not what I want in life, I guess!)

2. I am a great believer in drawing greatly from what you know and feel and all those random thoughts and behaviors and emotions and tics that make life interesting, and giving them to fiction. In fanfic especially, I am a great believer in seeing the author's hands in a text, making the story (and the original canon) unmistakably theirs. But I kind of always want them to be hands that are in the act of giving. By which I mean, I think there's a difference between all these things existing in a story and having been given to a character or a world or a story, and integrated genuinely into them.

Like, all I can think about while reading this book is how the author definitely lived through the mid-00s in a particular and very familiar way. Rather than create a richly immersive world, the details jump out of the page and leave the story behind. They don't feel like they belong to Alva (or perhaps Alva does not feel like a character with the depth to hold them and make them hers). They belong do the author, and to me, and to history, but Alva falls out of the equation. And if this is going to work, I feel like Alva can't fall out of the equation.

3. I was talking to a friend about something similar a few months ago. She was complaining about a historical fiction book she was reading with a book club she leads at the library she works at--how it was clearly very well-researched, but dry as hell. The information was not animated by the story itself. And I compared it to a fanfic I'd (not) read, where the author was very proud of all the research they'd done and how accurate-to-life its setting was. (To be clear, I'm not subtweeting Bleach fandom. Completely different fandom! Also this fanfic was published like 16 years ago.) The fic did bring in lots of specific details about trees and highways and city names--things I knew well, too, because it was set where my sister lives--but rather than be as exciting and, again, rich, as I feel like that familiarity could have been, it all felt dead. Because all these things were described specifically, but not true to how the narrating characters would describe them, or mentally catalogue them, or experience them.

And you might think, well, how would we possibly know how a character thinks about highways? It's not like he's explained this in canon. And I'd say, well, you definitely can. There are probably a lot of different ways a character could plausibly think about highways, depending on the specific shade and flavor of your characterization of them, all equally believable; but it's got to be part of the equation. There are a lot of ways to be right, and you know it when it's wrong. The wrong-est way it can be is for the way they think about highways to not factor into the way those dang highways are being described by them, in their POV.

4. I think about this both as a reader and as a writer--certainly more often as a writer, because I find that level of imagining a character's headspace the VERY best part of the process, and also because I am often concerned I am not doing it, or at least not well, lol. I'm positive I've done all the things I've just talked about not enjoying.

These concerns exist at the level of characterization work in general, but also at that level of, is the wizard behind the green curtain? Are his hands giving? Because while I do write fanfic because "it is fun" and because "this idea interests me," I am also usually writing it to work through deeply personal emotions/experiences. Which again, perhaps selfishly, I support that. But from a craft perspective I don't want it to feel, transparently, like "oh lol this author is going through it."

Moreover, from a relational perspective, I don't want that to be the relationship between me as author and the characters. Because one thing I am ALWAYS writing fanfic to do is to indulge my feelings about how much I am in complete, rapturous love with the characters and worlds in question. I don't want to just place things upon them, like a film or shroud; I want them to be given, integrated, arriving in the text wholly in their bodies and in their minds and entirely theirs. And I mean this for both the emotional arcs and conflicts and the random tics and details. I want them to have been given, and to belong, and to feel completely and inextricably theirs.

So, those are my thoughts about mid-00s Naruto porn!!!

I'd love to hear others' perspectives, as readers or writers or both. Have you had similar reactions, or quite different? Why do you write, and what do you want? What's your template for how you think about characterization, or your writerly relationship to canon/characters?

[sanemifromcriagslist]

hii, this is my first time doing a request (i hope this is where i do it)

(feel free to ignore this if u are uncomfortable writing on this topic, i’d get it completely ^^ )

rengoku with a partner who has troubles with food (meaning like, they don’t have much of an appetite and have a very hard time trying foods due to fear or taste and texture, like to eat very few food types, and forget to eat enough meals often) possibly??

Bento Boxes || Kyojuro Rengoku

Synopsis - Kyojuro and his partner + their food struggles

Warnings - Struggles involving food, mentions of throwing up, a singular judgemental asshat. Possibly more?? { Let me know if any are founded please 🙏 }

A/n - Hard core relate

Word count - 516

↳ I feel like he would share his food with you.

↳ With the whole texture thing, if you ask him to, he’d be willing to describe it to you.

↳ Kyojuro would most definitely spoon feed you if you want.

↳ Me personally, I can’t stand the smell of chicken noodles, I always throw up 😭

↳ So if certain smells bother you, he wouldn’t eat that food around you, so you don’t get sick!

↳ I feel like when he first learned you tend to forget meals, he’d would be reminding you when it was time to eat, but this would always be interrupted by his missions.

↳ So he’d set up a schedule for you to follow and depending if you yourself are a demon slayer or not, he’d either get your Kasagi crow or Senjuro to help keep you on track.

↳ Resident pretty boy Kyojuro will even buy you pretty bento boxes as encouragement! Like one with Hello Kitty or a pretty green one!

{ Ignore timeline issues. 🌚 }

↳ I’m gonna out him. He can’t cook. He’s tried and either he burns the food or undercooks it. He can’t win in the kitchen.

↳ But… Senjuro can! And I feel like it’s common knowledge within the fandom that Senjuro been headcanoned to enjoy cooking, right?

{ I have no idea if he actually enjoys cooking T-T }

↳ Senjuro will make all the food you want! He’s also known to keep a list of foods you like and can eat because he’ll make you food even if you don’t ask!

↳ I love him so much! Senjuro is such a cutie!!!!

↳ He’s offered to take you to Shinobu to understand why there are these issues with food. Whether you go or not is entirely up to you!

↳ If there are reasons behind these struggles, he would never judge. He’s your number 1 cheerleader!

↳ If you wanted to try a food, but were extremely anxious, because of taste or texture, he’d hype you up!

↳ NEVER BACK DOWN NEVER WHAT?? 🗣️🗣️💥💥

↳ If someone were to, I dunno… say something negative about you or your food struggles…

↳ They’d wake up the next morning with their body buried in dirt, only their head above the ground.

↳ If you were catch him doing this, well, he’d…

↳ :DDD

↳ He’d smile at you at you, like the pretty boy he is and say:

↳ “Go back to bed love, I’ll finish this and come back to you.”

↳ JAJRBSIZNBFIEUB

↳ That or he’d lecture them 😭

↳ Oh my god, Mitsuri would be so nice about it too!

↳ Like if Mitsuri came to train with you two, or go out to eat with you guys one day, she would always be so supportive.

↳ Like, you don’t eat something on your plate, but don’t want to waste food, she’ll eat it for you if you ask!

↳ Or if there’s something on her plate you’d like to try, she’d offer you a bite!

↳ Oh my god, kyojuro would too!!

↳ I love them so much, I’m totally normal about them 🌚

↳ Gah, rengoku would be as helpful as you want him to be, and he’d support you. No matter how you’d go about the situation.

thank you!! ♡

[jewels-writes]

deception (part 3)

Warnings: nsfw, sex, cursing Word Count: 2,123 Fandom: Call of Duty Notes: THERE IS NSFW IN THIS PART! It will be labeled and you can skip it if you don't feel comfortable reading it. Nothing important to the story happens in it, so don't worry about missing anything. As always, my work is poorly proofread. Part 1 Part 2 — — — —

It was another week before everyone was cleared. You couldn’t begin to describe the relief you felt when the agent allowed you back into your own room. Though, all your belongings weren’t where you left them, you were back. 

You wasted no time searching for Price, going to his room first, nearly tripping over yourself in your haste. 

“John.” You called out breathlessly, looking up at him as he was reorganizing his room after the investigation. His eyes widened before looking over to you. You reveled in the way his features softened as he took a step forward, closing the distance and wrapping his arms around you. “I’m so glad this is over.” You murmured into his chest, your arms snaking up under his arms and around his back, your hands clinging onto the fabric of his undershirt.

“Oh, sweetheart.” He murmured, his lips in your hair as he took a deep breath. “How I’ve missed you.” His hands ran up and down your back, feeling the curve of your spine. His hands began to wander, untucking your shirt, his skin meeting yours.

“We shouldn’t.” You whispered, putting your hands on his wrists, pausing his advances. “Don’t give me that look, John.” You rolled your eyes as he pouted at you. “Later, I promise. I want to go see everyone first.”

“Fine.” Price sighed, putting his hands in his pockets, a more respectful option. “But I can only wait so long.” His voice hinted at his impatience. It had been weeks. Weeks without intimacy. Weeks without sex. He was antsy and god damn needy.

Just as you were about to respond, Soap knocked on the doorframe before poking his head around the opening, announcing his presence. “Hey, lovebirds.” He teased with a kindhearted tone. 

“Johnny.” You nodded to him with a knowing smile. “Is there something you need?” You asked, taking a step closer to the teammate you’d been separated from for far too long.

“Laswell wants to talk to us.” Soap’s accent shone through with his annoyance. “Not happy ‘bout it but..” His voice trailed off as he shrugged a nonchalant way. Price’s eyebrows furrowed at Soap’s reaction, something seeming too uncaring about it.

“Oh, lovely.” You retorted, visibly upset at the mention of her name. You were sick of seeing her, sick of being questioned by her. “Can’t wait to see what this is about now. Better be something better than an apology.”

Price placed a hand on your shoulder in an effort to comfort you and you looked over to him. “I’m sure she means well. Let’s go.” He said gruffly, stepping out of his room and leading the way to the meeting room. 

As you entered, Ghost and Gaz were already seated. They looked delighted to see the rest of their team, the time apart effecting them too. Sitting down next to Gaz, you did a small handshake with him, one you’d had since you joined the forces. It made both of you feel a little bit better about the situation.

As everyone took their seats, Laswell walked in, her expression unreadable. Following after her was Commander Phillip Graves, an annoying smirk on his face. You’d always had your reservations about him, something always felt off. You tried to tell yourself it was just that he was an American and that you came from different backgrounds. 

As Laswell reached the presentation board, she plugged in her laptop to the projector, showing her screen.

“As you all well know, you have all been cleared of suspicion. I formally apologize for any inconveniences caused by the investigation.” Her voice sounded fake, like her PR team was feeding her the words she spoke. “Moving forward, duty calls.” She motioned to the screen behind her. “The target is still at large, we need you to find him and bring him in for questioning. Which means we need him alive. Is that clear?” Her eyes leveled at Ghost, arguably the most brutal one of the group. He didn’t seem fazed by the sudden attention.

Your eyes darted to Price who sat across from you. He was already looking at you when your eyes met. He nodded once, a reassuring gesture. As Laswell continued her briefing, your attention turned back to her, absorbing every detail for the mission.

“You deploy first thing tomorrow. Be ready.”

— — — —

Leaving the meeting room and walking into the hall, it felt like a weight was being lifted off your shoulders. You’d finally be back in the field where you belonged. You knew your teammates weren’t spies. You’d spent years with all of them, knew everything about each of them. 

Looking back into the room, you made eye contact with Price, giving him a certain look. You knew he was aching for you, you’d seen it the entire meeting. He’d nudge you with his foot, clear his throat, anything to get your attention. As his eyes met yours, you could see how they flickered with a certain understanding. He knew what was coming in his near future. 

He said a few words to the rest of the 141 before striding over to you, his arm going protectively over your shoulders. The scent of his cologne filled your senses at his proximity. It only made you want him more.

“My patience has waned. I’ve got none left.” His tone was low and raspy, conveying just how much he was holding back. “My room. Now.” Your stomach flipped as his voice dropped an octave.

As the door shut behind you, Price made an effort to turn the lock, not wanting any interruptions. He’d gone long enough without you. For this moment, he wanted you all to himself.

!!! NSFW DO NOT READ IF NOT COMFORTABLE !!!

There was nothing gentle about his movements. His desperation showed as he pressed you against the door, the tightness in his pants rubbing against your thigh as his lips connected with yours. His hands roughly tugged at your shirt, his intentions clear. He wanted it off. 

“Fuck.. I’ve missed you..” He groaned as he let his hands wander along your now-exposed skin. “So fucking gorgeous.” He murmured against your neck, nibbling at it as his lips moved down to your shoulder. He couldn’t hide the arousal growing in his pants, how he was desperate to have relief for the growing, throbbing ache.

“On the bed.” He muttered against your skin, a hint of restraint in his tone. Yes, he wanted to fuck you, but he wanted you to feel good too.

He pressed your shoulders down onto the bed, one of his hands moving to undo the clasp of your belt, tugging it out of the loops in a single movement. In a few yanks, your pants were discarded on the ground in a heap, the belt and shirt beside it. 

Taking a moment, he admired your body, his hands trailing up and down your thighs, occasionally drifting up to your tummy before going back down. He could sense just how much you wanted this too. How your hips pressed into his hands every time they got close to where you burned for him.

“You’re teasing me.” You whispered, a hand coming up to cover your mouth, embarrassed about it. As the words left your mouth, he let his fingers dip dangerously close. Your thighs opened for him, an almost automatic action. You wanted him to go further, to go inside.

“I’d never.” He smirked, his hands pressing against the cloth of your last article of clothing, reveling in how you pressed into his touch. “You’re aching for me, aren’t you?”

You were too embarrassed to admit it, but you knew he was right. It felt like your body was on fire with anticipation. All you could do was nod quickly, biting your lower lip. 

“Sweet little thing..” He whispered, tugging at your underwear. He paused for a moment, looking up at you for consent. “May I?” He asked, making sure he wasn’t going too far. Yes, you and him had been dating for a while, but he never wanted to cross a boundary with you. Not ever, you were the most precious thing to him.

“Yes.” You whispered in a breathy tone. The sound of your voice, the needy tone under the breathiness made his body shiver with excitement. 

Almost with a painful slowness, he removed the thin cloth, throwing it to the side. You saw as his eyes flickered with desire. He reached for one of your hands and pressed it to his bulge, encouraging you to massage it while he ripped his shirt off.

“You’re being so good for me.” He murmured, pressing into your touch. Your hand never wavered, you knew what he liked, what made him feel good. 

Soon he was just as barren as you, his length throbbing with need, dripping with precum. Positioning himself between your legs, he teased your opening with his fingers, reveling in how you squirmed, desperate for his entry. Pathetically, you pressed into his touch, hoping he’d understand your nonverbal plea for more. His eyes flickered with recognition and maybe a hint of mischief.

“Need something?” He cooed nudging closer, his tip grazing against your hole.

“J-john.. Please..” Was all you could manage. Your back was already arched up against the bed as you felt him. 

His hands settled firmly on your waist, his thumb stroking you a few times before he pushed his hips in until they were flush with yours. It was a gentle, slow movement. It had been a while, he was sure you needed time to adjust to his size. He watched your face, looking for any signs of discomfort, satisfied when he found none.

“You take me so well.” He murmured, reaching a hand up to cup your cheek. His hips began to move again, this time in a rhythmic motion. Gradually, he built the pace up, unable to deny himself the pleasure he so desperately craved. The noises you made only encouraged him, he basked in the way he could make you feel this good.

After a moan that was a bit too loud, you brought a hand up to cover your mouth, not wanting anyone else to hear. With a low gutteral noise, Price grabbed your wrist, pinning your arm above your head, moving it away from your face. Looking up to him, you saw a bead of sweat trickle down his flushed face.

“Let them hear.” He grunted, pressing deeper into you. “Let them hear how fucking good I make you feel.”

!!! END OF NSFW !!!

You ended up spending the night in his room, the night never seeming to end. By the time you woke up the next morning, your entire lower half was sore as hell, but it wasn’t unbearable. The sound his alarm is what broke your sleep. 

Groaning, you nudged his shoulder, not wanting to reach over to him. Even though his chest was enticing as hell, you knew better than to get him all worked up before a mission.

“John.” You shook his shoulder again, causing him to stir. “Get up, old man.” You giggled, watching him blink his eyes open and throw his arm over to stop the alarm. Groaning, he sat upright, swinging his feet off the bed and rubbing his eyes. After a minute or two of waking himself up, he looked over his shoulder at you. You saw how his eyes widened and you looked down at your bare skin.

“Sweetheart, I’m so sorry.” He murmured as he reached a hand over to trace the bruises he’d left on you. It was a mix of his fingers and hickeys he’d put on your body in the act, but it made him feel guilty nonetheless. His eyes trailed up, feeling worse as he forced himself to count the number of them.

“You’re apologizing for making me feel good?” You shot a confused look at him, raising your eyebrow slightly. “John, I’m fine. Don’t worry about it.”

“I’m gonna bloody worry about it.” He groans and rubs the bridge of his nose. “If anyone asks.. Christ, I don’t know. Make something up.”

“Our relationship is no secret.” You reminded him, a tinge of confusion passing over your features. Normally he didn’t mind if people saw the result he’d made on you. You weren’t sure what was so different about this time. “But.. If it makes you feel better, I’ll cover up.” His eyes met yours. He sensed that you noticed something was up but didn’t bother explaining himself.

“Let’s get ready for this mission.” He murmured, standing from the bed and reaching for his uniform, kicking his discarded clothes as he walked over to where it hung up. “I’ll see you on the transport.”

[ghuleh-recs]

★ Ghost Fandom Fic Rec Tag ★

VERY annoyed about the anon hate I’m seeing in my favorite writers’ ask boxes lately. So! I thought I'd live up to my username. Let’s appreciate some amazing writers and rec some fucking fics.

Rules (re: loose guidelines)

Pick some fics from your AO3 bookmarks or your likes/reblobs here on tumblr, and post them with links and a blurb about it. Maybe a summary or just a reason you liked it. As many or as few as you feel like sharing. Then, as one does, tag your friends.

This is a ZERO pressure tagging situation—if you’re too busy or don’t feel like participating, no biggie at allll. Let’s just spread some love and positivity shall we?

I’ll go first (some slightly spoiler-y descriptions ahead):

[REC] and 1080P by @st-danger We've got some absolutely delicious vulnerable Dew x completely smitten Swiss right here. Long story short, they send a video of Dew in panties to Aether. These are scorchingly hot. Part of Saint’s Kinktober series—which you better subscribe to if you haven’t already.

This Swiss x Aeon stoned hand kink ficlet from @crimsonclergy actually set my brain on fire yesterday. So there’s that.

This fic from @riconas featuring insecure Dew knotting Aether. A little desperate, a little mean, a LOT sexy.

A Touch Too Much by @miasmaghoul Hey have you ever wondered what would happen if Dew went into heat during a ritual? And how he might react to Papa singing about daddies and caressing him during KTGG? Hmm? You ever wonder about that?

It would tear me apart, it would haunt me forever (so much you'd never get to know) by @littlemoon-beam oh boy this is some stunningly good Dew angst. This fic will hurt your feelings and then you’re gonna thank Moon for it. She really blasted into this fandom like the Kool-aid guy and we are honestly so hashtag blessed for it.

Now for some reader-insert if that’s more your style.

Misaimed Desire by @violet-lazer Whoops. You accidentally texted Secondo something saucy and he summons you to his office. Whatever will he do to you? Part of her excellent First Kisses: Papal Edition series. Terzo is next so y'all better subscribe.

Banchetto by @angellayercake This. This right here is the good shit. Terzo is wasting away, not handling life after the Ghost Project well at all. Primo and Secondo enlist your help seeing as you’ve got some serious cooking skills. This is gorgeously written with some god tier slow burn and eventual smut. It’s a WIP but the most recent chapter is super satisfying, don’t you worry.

The Cardinal's Bride by @ramblingoak If you’re not following along with this, you’re REALLY missing out. This is pure bodice-ripper GOLD. Some of the most satisfying slow burn I have EVER read. I reread the whole thing every time Oak drops a new chapter.

The Prince by @kissingghouls Vampire!Terzo x slayer!reader need I say more? I am loving the latest installment of Suck Club (you should really read them all). Terzo is pathetic and wears crop tops and it has me actually kicking my heels and giggling as I read.

Cum Quickly, Now by @gasolineghuleh Basically what it says on the tin, folks. You make Papas II, III, and IV cum quickly ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ It's hot.

One last thing:

Leave a comment on ao3, or reply/reblog (with tags) here on the hellsite anything you enjoyed that someone else recommended. I dare you. The author might even reply and you’ll feel oh so special.

I tag: @littlemoon-beam, @rightintheghoulies, @myghemicalghostmance, @angellayercake, @ramblingoak, @neekocalico, @kissingghouls, @stede-bonnets, @gasolineghuleh and anyone reading this that also enjoys fanfic. Yeah you. I’m so serious. Don't test me, boy.

(Feel free to tag me back because I have soooo many others but this already got way too long.)

[thereisnolumos]

darklina thoughts: I wanted to get into the shadow and bone Fandom(books and show) because of the amazing gif set of the darklina kiss I saw

Like who are these two that are sharing such a beautiful kiss. And look so aesthically pleasing together with the darkness and light vibes. I was so excited to find out who these two were because these kind of ships are my everything. Than I find out and 😨😱😤😠🤬!!!!! It was like running full steam a head with tons of excitement and crashing face first into a wall when I find out everything about this Fandom. Both about the books and show. The author and this beautiful ship. And I'm like God why do authors do this ship. Tease us with everything we want and the full potential. But than do a completely one 80 and waste are time on things we don't care about, or find insulting or toxic, and tells us are tastes are dumb and toxic. So now I just read fics and look at beautiful art of Darklina and the potential they could have been. It's just so annoying because this stuff happens all the time!!! And don't get me started on what I heard about the author. I don't know if their true. And wish I could find out real stuff about her. But if it is. God she is so messed up for doing this to us.

I only got in the fandom bcs I randomly saw a teaser for the first season and Ben Barnes was there in all his dark glory. I knew nothing about the books, but the way that show was promoted I was expecting the epic dark romance, villain who’s not really a villain gets the girl all the vibe. Plus cool world build and complicated detailed story overall.

I got none of that.

That show was interesting and hopeful for the first 5 episodes (we will always have 1x05🖤). It wasn’t as detailed and complex as I expected, but it had potential and the main pair - the one they based THE ENTIRE promotion on by the way - was having one of the most fiery and spark inducing chemistry I’ve ever seen on the screen, so I kept my hopes up for the overall plot and focused on them. And then… then they backpedaled SO HARD on everything that made that show interesting for the broad audience, I wonder how they didn’t give themselves a whiplash… though considering the horrible quality of s2 they probably did

Though I didn’t like the way s1 ended, I still thought there is hope, and “we need a conflict for our main pair, I guess”. I truly, wholeheartedly believed that creators and writers of the show are not complete idiots and know how to read the room and what the most of their audience is there for, so that’s what they’ll deliver. But oh my, how wrong I was.

The second season is downright unwatchable with how horrifyingly terrible it is. I only suffered through the entire thing for Ben, who, bless his heart, tried his hardest to deliver the complexity and depth of his character, who he only agreed to play if they “won’t make him a cardboard villain”. And they did exactly that in s2, or tried to, bcs Ben Barnes and his talent didn’t let them, despite all their efforts. The rest of the cast I guess didn’t have enough experience to fix the worst writing imaginable with their acting, so most of the characters became absolutely bland and uninteresting and SO IDIOTICALLY STUPUD, I yelled at them constantly, scaring my cat the entire time.

Also, as much as I understand it from exploring the fandom, the creators and writers of the show are die hard fans of the Crows, and they don’t actually like Alina’s trilogy at all. So… why didn’t they just do the books they wanted I’ll never know. Instead, they forced the Crows in the plot they were never a part of (making all of them okay with selling a girl to slavery in the process. Despite one of them being the former slave and the other one being the one who got her out of it… make it make sense, I beg of you), in the second season they wasted SO MUCH time on their plot lines that 1)didn’t matter one bit for the overall story, 2)were absolutely uninteresting to everyone who isn’t the Crows fan beforehand. In the end we got half-assed Alina and Aleksander’s story with half-assed Crows’ story. They should’ve just made the Crows show, without touching Alina and Aleksander

I haven’t read the books, but from what I gathered in the fandom, though still committing the same sin of putting all the promotion and marketing into the Dark romance trope without actually delivering on it, and force feeding the fans one of the worst and most toxic pairings ever with Malina, at least Alina and Aleksander’s characters weren’t made so cardboard and stupid, and there was tragedy in their story, not the shit that they gave us in s2. Though I absolutely DESPISE the fact that Alina looses her powers in the end and goes on to live Mal’s dream life… Like WHAT THE FUCK?? What levels of internalized misogyny do you need to have as a woman, to write this plot line for your female protagonist???? I can’t.

On Mal’s toxicity: at least that made him a fleshed out character in the books. Absolutely horrible one, how could the author make him “get the girl” is beyond me. But at least he had a personality, however terrible one. In the show, I guess understanding, that no one would root for that asshole, they removed his toxicity almost completely, but that made him as bland as stale porridge. There wasn’t ANYTHING left on his character. At all. How anyone could’ve rooted for him I absolutely refuse to understand. Any woman deserved better than Blade😈

I don’t know anything about Leigh Bardugo, except for the fact that she butcher my native language and makes me furious. If you don’t know the language at least on a medium level, perhaps don’t use it in your books. Or at least hire someone who does. The way she butchered it, I’m not sure she even used Google translate…

So yeah, I’m with you on only reading Darklina fanfics and admiring fan art. I’m not at all sad that they cancelled the show, and I’m even giddy that those creators and writers didn’t get their wet dream of the Crows spin off. They didn’t deserve it after the shit they pulled in the second season. I do hope that they won’t ruin any other shows in the future. I am sad for the actors, who deserved much better and who were actually good at their parts, while the writing was okay. Poor Archie Renaux suffered the most, his character didn’t have good writing at all, not for a single scene. I hope we’ll see more of all of them.

And we need Ben and Jessie to do a film together. Preferably a rom com, but I’m not picky. Just that their characters are together. Such chemistry can’t be wasted

[albertdabuttler]

Be My Lover | K.H.

MASTERLIST

fandom: 80s

pairings: Kirk Hammett x F!Reader

WARNINGS: Smut… Drinking but not getting drunk, jealousy, nothing happens with the other guy, possessiveness, dirty talk?? public sex kinda, fingering, p in v unprotected, looooots of kissing, giggly after sex Kirk.

summary: You thought going to a club to fill a void would help, until you’re ditched and caught dancing with another man.

WC: 3.6k

gif by me!!

A/N: who else loves be my lover by la bouche?

———————

11:13PM, June 6th, 1996.

Clubs weren't ever really your thing.

Like who the fuck wants to go out, wait in a line for an hour and when you get in, everyone forgets about personal space and it reeks of sweat, alcohol and weed.

A friend you met recently had invited you to a club to have 'fun,' and you didn't want to let her down. 

"Hey!" She called, running up to you with open arms, giving you a kiss on the cheek.

"How are you?! Were you waiting outside for long?" She asked.

"I'm good, thanks for asking. And no, I was on the list apparently." You shrugged.

"Ugh, you're so lucky you're dating a cool rockstar who can get into whatever club he wants... I wish I had a boyfriend like that."

You laughed, "I don't even know that I'm on these lists until I actually go to the club. Sometimes it's fucking weird as hell 'cause I've never even heard of most of them." You stated.

"But what about you, Sara? How are you?"

"I'm good! Someone offered estacy but I wanted to wait for you to take it." She winked.

You chuckled, "Oh, you didn't have to do that. I wasn't really planning on doing anything crazier than getting wasted."

"That's fine." She laughed.

"Also, I am so sorry to do this... But I met a cute guy...so I'm gonna go talk to him." She whispered, "I'll catch you later though!"

"That's fine, bye!" You smiled.

There was no fucking way she just invited you to a club only to ditch you. God, what was your problem with making all these terrible friends? Maybe it was the close contact to Kirk and the rest of the band. But you felt selfish for thinking that way...

You spotted a bar near the middle of the club so you made your way to it.

"What can I get for ya?" The barista asked.

"Could I get an extra dirty martini with Tito's?" You requested as you sat on one of the stools.

"Sure thing!" He smiled, turning around to make your drink.

What an upbeat guy, you thought.

A minute passed and he handed you your drink, moving to serve any other people at the bar.

Spinning in your chair towards the dance floor, you spotted a guy staring at you.

He raised his eyebrows at you and smiled, before walking towards you. You quickly turned back around.

Please god save me.

"Hey, beautiful."

You grimaced at the corny line.

"Can I help you?" You said politely.

"What are you doing all alone in a club like this?" He looked you up and down.

"Uh, my friend invited me but she ditched me for a guy." You answered truthfully.

"That's not very nice. How about you finish your drink and come dance with me?" He smirked, sitting on the stool next to you.

You were bored out of your mind and didn't want to sit at the bar and look like a depressed, lonely loser, so you agreed.

"Sure." You forced a smile.

A couple minutes later, you had finished your drink and were on your way to the dance floor, the guy following close behind.

You liked the song that was playing, and instinctively began subtly nodding your head to the beat of the song.

Dancing wasn't really a skill you had, so you just swayed your hips in hopes that no one would notice your horrible attempt.

You looked around the room for the guy you were with when suddenly you felt hands on your waist.

Pulling away and turning around, you were looking up at him.

"I have a boyfriend. Just an FYI." You took his hands off you, awkwardly chuckling.

"So? I have a girlfriend. It's okay to have a little fun." He moved closer.

"We're not doing anything. So don't try it." You responded.

He smirked, resting his hands on your waist.

It felt odd, you really missed Kirk. You hadn't spent time with him in almost a month because of all the technical work business shit he had to deal with to release the Load album.

So you pretended it was Kirk's hands on you.

The two of you swayed to the music, his hands running up and down your sides and as pathetic as it was, you actually pictured Kirk behind you. Running his hands along your waist and hips, whispering stupid shit he thought of to make you laugh like he always did.

You opened your eyes, literally catching on fire and burning your eyes at the hottest sight in human history.

A man in an all black outfit, chain necklaces, short black, curly hair, and a lip and nose piercing greeting random people in the club.

Your movements halted at the sight of him, causing your partner to stop too.

Grinning enough to make your cheeks hurt, he finally turned his head and spotted you, his face lighting up like a kid in a candy store.

In that moment you realized how he was seeing you, his grin slowly faltered and his eyebrows knitted together.

"Oh, fuck," you mumbled to yourself as Kirk made his way to you.

"Hi," Kirk smiled as he approached the two of you.

"Can we help you?" The guy asked.

"Yes sir," He smiled, showing that adorable dimple. "What's your name?"

"My names Diego." He answered.

"And who's this lovely lady beside you...?" Kirk smiled to himself at the sight of you.

You were about to answer before Diego replied.

"She's my date." He said possessively

"She's your what?" Kirk kept smiling, cocking his head to the side with his eyebrows furrowed. You felt yourself getting nervous.

"We were just dancing." You replied for him.

"Yeah." Diego agreed.

"I'm sorry," Diego interrupted, "but who are you?"

Kirk turned to you with a look that said 'You could have done so much better.'

"I'm Kirk. Kirk Hammett." He smiled politely. You could tell he was holding back from strangling this asshole to death.

"Oh, you're that Metallica guy, right?"

Kirk pursed his lips, nodding his head in slight annoyance.

"I like your music. But if you'll excuse me, I'm going to dance with this one." Diego tried to walk away.

"She's my girlfriend, dumbass. Why do you think I came over here?" Kirk got impatient.

Diego was about to respond before Kirk grabbed your wrist, "Now if you'll excuse us though," he said, leaving Diego there astounded.

"Where are we going...?" You questioned.

He turned and gave you a dirty look, "You, shut up."

"What the fuck did I do?" You scoffed.

Kirk didn't reply and you took that as a sign to actually shut up. This wasn't like him at all, you had no idea what came over him or why he seemed so pissed off.

Finally you found yourself being led into a hallway, and you saw the bathrooms at the end.

He pulled you through the door, leaning against it and crossing his arms. The bathroom was big and fancy, just like the club. Black walls, the stalls were fully enclosed, the sinks had golden faucets and there was even a little counter where one could touch up their makeup. You leaned on it.

Thankfully you were the only two in there.

"What were you doing with that guy?"

"Dancing." You replied, annoyed.

"Why?"

"Why not?"

"Because, you've got a boyfriend," he gestured to himself, scoffing.

"Oh my god, Kirk. What's going on with you? We danced for like five seconds before I saw you. What's the big deal?"

"The big deal is that you didn't turn him down. And he's a piece of shit." He replied.

"Okay? I was bored. My friend ditched me." You said.

"Bullshit."

You clenched your teeth, "You can't really tell me who I can or can't dance with, because you fuck groupies.” You poked him in the chest, “Highly doubt you'd turn down a chance to have sex." You seethed, thinking you hit him where it hurt.

He chuckled, "I do turn down groupies. For you. Because I actually love you and care about you."

You stood there frozen in place before coming up with a response.

"Listen to me. I missed you Kirk, I really did. And you haven't called at all, so I was...starting to get lonely. I came to hang out with my friend to feel better but she just took off, and then this guy came up to me, so I couldn't just turn him down." You explained.

"I haven't seen you in two weeks, and haven't been with you in over a month. But look, and I know it sounds pathetic... When I was dancing with him," you lowered your voice, "I was pretending like it was you." You said, looking to the floor embarrassed.

You saw his feet step directly in front of you. Looking up, he hid a smile. "You were pretending it was me?" He said with a kiddish giggle.

"Shut up."

"No, you shut up..." He said, his smile fading as he looked at your lips.

Feeling hot, you couldn't help but blush as he was moving closer. Every time he was about to kiss you felt like the first time. Like he'd never done it before. Like each time he kissed you, you would forget what it felt like.

"I'm gonna kiss you," he warned, just then giving you a soft peck on the lips.

Once he pulled away, he took a step back and looked you up and down.

"You look really pretty, " he said, his eyes lingering over your breasts for a little too long.

You just wore a short simple dress. Nothing special, it just showed some cleavage.

"Sorry I didn't call... I was really fuckin' busy with the album. You know how it is... But I really missed you." He whispered, his face inches from yours as he had you trapped, his hands resting on the counter by your sides.

Something poked your tummy, both of you looking down.

"And so did he," he chuckled, looking back up to you as he pressed his lips onto yours for the second time.

This kiss got hotter a little quicker, his hands moved to the back of your thighs to pick you up and set you on the counter.

One of his hands rode up your thigh, under your dress and you felt him tug on your panties. He stopped the kiss for a second in order to focus on taking them off.

"Kirk, wait,"

He stopped and stepped back, "Are you sure we're not gonna get caught?" you said, pulling your panties all the way off because he left them in an uncomfortable position.

Kirk took that as a queue that he could continue. "Who cares? I want us to get caught. I want that guy to know who fucks you the way you like it." He kissed you once more, pushing his tongue into your mouth and drowning out any other words you tried to speak.

His hand moved back up your thigh, quickly finding your cunt and he used his thumb to rub circles over your clit.

You let out a gasp and rested your forehead on his shoulder, your hands gripping the fabric on either one.

As he massaged your sensitive bud, his other hand came up to start unbuttoning his own shirt.

"I made you this wet didn't I? Was it me or the other guy?" He huffed.

All you could do was whimper in response. He was right, only he could make you feel so good you lose a grip from reality.

"Hey, answer." He pulled his hand away, the other softly grabbing your jaw to look at him.

"Me, right? Only I can do this to you." He smirked, pressing a kiss onto your cheek like he didn't just say the most disgusting thing ever.

"Yes, Kirk," you sighed, "you made me like this."

Kirk smiled softly, just then slowly pushing two of his fingers into you at once. You closed your eyes, feeling Kirk watching your expressions.

"Feel good?" He asked, picking up his pace and resting his other hand on your lower back.

"Fuck yeah," you replied, tightening your grip on his shoulders. His fingers curled up into just the right spot, causing you to reach up and place kisses all over his neck. You stained his skin with prints of your lipstick, occasionally leaving bite marks here and there.

You heard him chuckle to himself. He knew your body so well, he knew exactly what reactions you'd have to certain things. Hell, if he was being honest, he was only using his hands just for you to kiss all over his neck, later letting everyone in the club know that he was yours.

"God, Kirk... Feels so good," you whined, resting your forehead on his bare chest. He smelled good too, he was probably wearing an expensive cologne and it just made you wetter.

"Fuck, I wanna eat you out so bad..." He whispered above your head, making you shiver.

"When we get home." He finished, pumping his fingers in you at a quick pace, enough to get you there.

"Kirk, I'm almost—"

You couldn't even finish your sentence before he pulled his fingers out.

Groaning in disappointment, you looked up at him to question why.

"Why the fuck did you do that?" You looked at him with attitude.

His face moved closer to yours, "'Cause you danced with another guy." He smiled, slowly sucking your juices off his fingers, one at a time.

"Not a reason to be a dick." You crossed your arms, looking away to avoid getting flustered.

"Yeah but definitely a reason to give you dick," he joked, beginning to unbuckle his belt.

You immediately looked down, almost reaching to help him but stopping yourself to avoid looking desperate.

"Tell me I'm the only one you want, the only one who can make you cum so good you forget about anyone else." He spoke desperately, pulling his pants and boxers down just low enough to free himself.

You didn't reply, only taking in his erection. His cock was gorgeous, it had a slight curve upwards that helped him hit your sweet spot.

"Did you hear what I said?" He said a little louder.

"Yes. Yeah Kirk," you quickly met his eyes.

They were dark with lust. "...only you can make me feel good... You're the best I ever had." You reassured him with a smile.

He sighed contently, spitting on his hand and then jerking himself before pulling you off the counter. The movement was sudden, so you held onto his chest to bring yourself back to balance. You stared at his body, the black shirt still on him although it was unbuttoned so you got that sliver of skin in the middle, revealing a light definition of his pectoral and abdominal muscles.

"Turn around," he whispered, not even giving you any time, he grabbed you by the hips and turned you around, bending you over the counter.

Kirk rarely gave it to you from behind because he said it wasn't intimate enough, but when he did, it was always an amazing orgasm for the both of you.

He took a second to tease you, dragging his tip up and down your slit while smirking at you through the mirror, you looked at him unamused.

Noticing this had no effect, slowly he started pushing into you, closing his eyes and shivering at the feeling. There were faint cheers audible outside the bathroom, making you both laugh at the timing.

The DJ seemed to have turned the volume up and you listened as the club mix of Be my lover by La Bouche was playing.

"Fuck, I love this song." You let out a breath as Kirk finally bottomed out.

"Not as much as you love me though, right?" He stayed still for a moment, leaning over you and pressing his torso against your back, his chin resting on your shoulder.

"We look so good like this," he smiled, "I love you."

"I love you too...Now can you actually fuck me please?" you begged, "I haven't had anything inside me since last time we had sex and I just need it right now."

"That's an interesting way to tell me you missed me." He chuckled leaning back up.

"Not even a toy or something...?"

"Shut up." You said, getting agitated before he pulled almost all the way out and harshly pushed himself back in.

He repeated this motion, gradually getting faster as he stared at you through the mirror.

Your breathing quickened, letting out low groans. Kirk kind of lifted one of your legs in a way, giving himself space to draw circles on your clit with his other hand.

A significantly loud moan erupted from your throat, most likely audible for anyone outside the bathroom door.

You clenched around him, making him let out a grunt, "Fuck, I missed you so much," he whined, closing his eyes as his jaw fell open, his eyebrows knitting together.

His thrusts got harder, repeatedly hitting that good spot in you.

Watching him through the mirror, you saw his eyes roll back as his face contorted into different expressions of pleasure, his shirt slipping off one of his shoulders, revealing his bicep.

You whimpered, "Kirk, I'm gonna cum," you breathed heavily.

"Please hold it for a bit, baby," He replied smiling softly at you through the mirror. But you couldn't. With a few more thrusts, your vision got almost blurry as you closed your eyes, letting go of the knot in your stomach.

"I'm sorry," you apologized.

"It's okay, now I know you really missed me if I made you cum that fast." He smirked cheekily.

Kirk stopped his movements on your clit to avoid overstimulating you, his thrusts continuing at the same hard and fast pace.

"I'm almost there," He sighed, biting his lip and letting out soft moans.

He tried going faster, making you clench around him at the sensitive feeling. The liquids from your orgasm helped lubricate his movements a lot better, but his thrusts started slowing down, getting sloppier.

"Fuck..." He whispered, "I'm gonna cum," he said, just then his hips stuttered, his eyes shutting tightly as he tensed up, his seed painting all over your insides. He kept thrusting a little more just to ride out his high. The both of you let out hard breaths as he pulled out, smiling contently at you through the mirror, caressing your hips.

You got up and he giggled, helping you clean up and handing you your panties as he pulled up his boxers and then his trousers.

You started making your way to the door before he grabbed your hand, spinning you around and pressing a soft kiss onto your lips.

"I love you." He smiled.

Smiling back, "I love you too," you responded.

"I'm sorry this was all I could give you, I just really missed the feeling of you, and I couldn't wait... But I promise when we get home, I'll treat you better." He winked.

"Kirk, it's okay." You chuckled, buttoning up his shirt, making his collar look neat. "It's not like you just treated me badly."

"Sorry," He said, watching your face as you focused on his shirt.

"What'd I ever do to deserve you..." He looked at you sadly.

"Shut up, cheeseball." You looked away as you grabbed his hand and lead him to the door, making a joke to avoid having this conversation now.

Right as you opened the door, someone walked in, looking between the both of you awkwardly, staring at the mess of lipstick all over Kirk's mouth and neck.

The woman gulped, blinking and quickly walking past you into the bathroom, Kirk just chuckled.

"You sure you don't wanna clean that up?"

"It's okay, babe, I don't care if they know what happened. At least this way they know I'm all yours," he looked down at you with those adorable eyes.

"Ugh, I hate it when you do that." You joked, looking away to hide the blood rush in your face.

You made it to the main room, walking past people to the exit.

You came across Sara, "Hey guys!" She smiled at the sight of you, "I didn't know you were back, Kirk." She greeted him with a handshake.

"Wait..." She squinted, seeing the mess of lipstick all over him, it was kind of hard to notice in the low light of the room.

"Were you the ones having a quickie in the bathroom?"

You both blushed, looking at each other awkwardly.

"Me and some other girls needed to use it but we heard some... Noises...so we didn't go in."

"Oh god." You pinched the bridge of your nose, embarrassed.

Kirk laughed at your reaction, "Yeah, sorry about that." He chuckled.

"Okay, we're going home now." You said, hugging Sara. Kirk waved and took your hand, following you to the door.

Of course though, the night wouldn't be over without you running by Diego.

You simply ignored him, but Kirk gave him a stare without your knowledge, trying to make the kiss marks on his neck as noticeable as possible for Diego to know only Kirk knew how to fuck you good.

Finally you exited, taking a breath of the fresh air as Kirk pressed a kiss onto your cheek.

"Ready to go home?" He smiled.

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thank you for reading!!!