#ship shitpost was earlier today

[honkichino]

Okay so. Not so long ago I've seen this gif and show it to my friend, saying: LOOK ITS LAZYTOWN's CHOREOGRAPHY

And she basically replied: No, you moron, it's from Addams Family

And since it's Wesker... Yeeeeeaaaaah, it's most likely he trained Jill with Addams Family films than with series for kids about healthy lifestyle, BUT I STILL THINK ITS KINDA FUNNY THOUGHT

[infoglitch]

I think the reason I connect to Jaune of all characters is because I can relate to the feeling of inadequacy. Ofcourse the character isn't perfect and I get why people just don't like him but I can't agree. Ofcourse that's just a shitty opinion and of course obviously my opinions are garbage. Any way my glazing aside-

Ok I know normally this is a really small (even compared to the shitposts) Rwby shipping post buuut-

A chat

Setting: jaune is currently helping Weiss move into her temporary apartment.

Jaune: hey Weiss?

Weiss turned to look at jaune as she hummed. She held a box in her hands before setting it down a stack of boxes.

Weiss: hmm?

Jaune: if you were sent back in time and put in our beacon, would you still.. you know dislike me during that time?

Weiss: well depends, would it just be me or would all of us be sent back?

Jaune: just you.

Weiss: hmm.. well id certainly still be annoyed with you. But I wouldnt be.. as harsh as my younger self. I would tell you to stop flirting and just try being friendly with me and then see how that goes.

Jaune: huh.. alright then. anything else outside of me?

Weiss: well this ones obvious, tell pyrrha to ask you out. Atleast then I wouldn't be annoyed. And apologize to Blake profusely for a lot of the things I said.. and ofcourse make sure to check in on ruby.

The room went quiet as jaune simply nodded.

Jaune: so-

Weiss: jaune, since you did ask that I think It's only fair that I ask you a question.

Jaune: huh, that seems fair. Fire away.

Weiss turned around fully to face him.

Weiss: if you went back in time.. what would you do?

Jaune: let's see, I would try harder in my classes, I'd have enough with Cardin's bullshit a lot earlier.. and I'd be honest with my team and you guys.. outside of that I'd stop flirting with you.. I got a lot of things I wish I could fix.

Weiss: but obviously.. what's happened, has happened.

Jaune: no going back.

Weiss: speaking of no going back, since we've finished up for today I say we go visit Ruby.

Jaune: alright then, you sure I should come with? It's.. been awhile since me and her actually talked.

Weiss: I think it do you both good.

Jaune just simply nodded as he amd Weiss soon walked out the front door but not before-

Jaune: hey Weiss.. thanks for putting up with me

Weiss: your welcome.. and your not that annoying anymore. Besides, outside of that, your a good friend.

END

When I check to see the reblogs I better see "WE ARE SO BACK" (kidding obviously I'm not that good at writing fics)

..you mothafuckers-

[that-traveling-banjo]

Hellooo Tumblr!

Folks call me Wander! You may also know me as Tumbleweed. It is SO nice to meet you!!

Earlier today, I noticed my friend, Sylvia, posting vids and photos on her Tumblr. I wanted to interact with her posts, and I figured "Hey! I should create a Tumblr space!", which I'd been meaning to but always forgotten. Up until today! Though it wasn't the easiest task (thanks Sylvia for helping me set up my account!), I've got it!

There are so many new faces around here… Can't wait to get to know everyone!

Ps. I might not be super active, but I'll try my best to get to everyone in time!

(huge thanks to Sylvia again for reminding me to add this)

#first post

\\

OOC - Hello!! This is James (also known as xtatic), the face behind this blog. While I'm all about fun, there are a few notices I'd like to get across for myself (and Wander to some extent).

Absolutely NO NSFW! Jokes are on thin ice, but I'd appreciate it if there's none at all.

Asks regarding fandom opinions (ships, headcanons, etc.) will be ignored.

Wander's Ps. wasn't a joke - I will be rather inactive at times! Sorry in advance!!

im new and very afraid

My tagging system:

thattravelingbanjo - for this account and easier organization

OOC - out of character

IC - in character (most likely linked with RP tag)

RP - roleplaying! (most likely linked with IC tag)

no tag - shitpost probably (thattravelingbanjo will remain though)

ttbjreblog - reblogging! (in character)

///

[inkushel29]

today i was on Instagram earlier and

i found this shitpost account and found like one of their reels was like this ryu x ken slideshow (yknow the guys from streetfighter because the shitpost account likes streetfighter) it was like 4 minutes long and the fanart mostly consisted of the older versions than the younger versions i think?? (so yeah old man yaoi) and like for the first few seconds the ship art was normal and tame enough

until it straight up showed a rule 34 comic of ryu and ken (the older versions and when I say old i mean the modern versions) it jumpscared the shit out of me it was major tonal whiplash. It was them uhhh beating around da bush yknow. Like I think they were having competitive secks LIKE whoever combusts first loses like what the fuck is happening and like

the slideshow showed. all the pages. it was not censored well. I WATCHED IT DURING CLASS (no one saw me i hid my phone but still). it was only like a bunch of seconds or almost a minute but it felt so long jesus christ. and then after that it returned to the normal ship art. like I checked to see if the second half had sus art because i was shocked but nah it was mostly normal...

I know that the video is like reposted from somewhere else like the original video couldve been on youtube like UNCENSORED LIKE THAT MOMENT OF THE SLIDEShOW WAS STR8 UP P0RN and i will say again IT WAS NOT CENSORED WELL T__T

its so fucking funny but then again im traumatized. im so sorry i just had to traumadump a little LOL.

Anyway shoutout to the reposter of the video aka the shitpost account streetfighteryaoi on Instagram!! we recently became mutuals so thats awesome!!

P.S.: also fun fact that same slideshow also had two images that werent really ship art, they were just two in game screenshots of the god damn original game...LMAO...i just thought that would be funny.

EDIT: oh yeah the slideshow DID show the younger versions of them as well a lot. DW it was normal ship art. I forgot about that lol.

[98chao]

my take on berdly/kris

[saskiavalentineapologist]

teirsym and scarlet Hated each other when they first met

[drakepadreal]

From stream doodles, to aggie sessions and just normal memeing on my own time, welcome to my hell that has been the past week.

If you really want an explanation on most of this I’ll put it under the cut akdsjghad

1: Just the usual random doodle, as of late most of those are nova, he’s just fun to draw 👉👈

2+3+10: These were all done during Steven’s(Zuke’s VA) recent Hand Simulator and Paw Patrol streams...That’s about it. The Neon gif was actually just a draw-over on a screenshot from one of the moments during the hand simulator stream but I saved the transparent version and meme’d it to hell afterwards.

5: Forgot this one the first time whoops. A shitpost continuation to #6 bc of a reply on twitter, Neon J is yelling at the sun for bothering Nova.

4+6+7: These were all from an aggie session last night with isnezzed and another user from twitter, much chaos ensued. If you wanna see the entirety of said chaos here’s the tweet w/the full canvas , it was very entertaining lmao.

8+9: These were both from earlier today, the first just being me noticing my favorite trope w/my two favorite ships, and the second being bc I found a pic of the members of Tally Hall and noticing they each had a color. I’m still laughing about it.

[trekfaerie]

"Why are people so obsessed with Izzy Hands when there's all these other amazing characters?" Have you tried not going on the Izzy Hands tag. Or making any content for these other characters you claim to like that are more viable for fanworks that this fucked up old man that doesnt require fans to write comedy (HARD AS HELL)? Bc overwhelmingly the most popular characters are Ed and Stede, one of which is not white, and for a change most of the fic seems to center on him. This is really not a fandom where you can pull the "of course you're prioritizing the messy mean white guy" about Izzy. There's a messy mean maori guy and getting the pretty fandom princess treatment right there, nearly like he deserves (I could do with less people infantilizing him/brushing the Blackbeard is Ed thing under the rug but like. I get it. Flattening is just what happens to fandom darlings lol). Izzy is a far away third most tagged in ships in ao3 eyeballing how many people tag Pete/Lucius and Oluwande/Jim as background pairings

(They CONTINUE not including Stede in these posts even though he's also a morally questionable white guy, and gets even more attention that Izzy. And also not realizing that the primary antagonist that moves the plot along and clearly has a ton of issues and a Past with N°1 fandom darling Ed isn't getting more attention than Lucius or Oluwande or Frenchie just because he's white??)

like to be frank, it's because they, like... don't see ed as messy and mean. I did a shitpost earlier today because I just literally keep seeing people blame izzy for everything that happens (EVEN TO IZZY HIMSELF, BECAUSE UH. TOE.) as if ed has absolutely no agency whatsoever. like the people infantalizing ed and the people whining about izzy venn diagram is very close to a circle.

not a full circle because there are the people doing that because it's their kink and honestly god bless 'em.

I have to admit, I have no idea what the endgame here is beyond making izzy fans not exist. besides people seeking proper atonement for the sin of liking the wrong blorbo, what is the win condition here.

[gxmonth]

Yu-Gi-Oh! GX Month 2020

IT’S ON!

We start on August 31! I realize this may be a bit short notice for some, so I’ll be sure to get the word out earlier next year. Just do your best, take breaks when you need to, and most importantly have fun!

Draw/write/create, it’s your choice! All creativity welcomed!

Please remember to tag you posts with #gxmonth2020. If I miss a post please let me know.

And special thanks to @crystalbeastruby​ for creating the awesome banner!

Day 1 (August 31): “Game on!” It’s Judai/Jaden Yuki’s birthday today! Let’s celebrate!

Day 2 (September 1): “Red, Yellow, Blue!” Ah, the tier system at Duel Academy. Which dorm is your favorite?

Day 3 (September 2): “Rule the School” These kids might be saving the world, but they’re still students with homework to do and exams to pass. Celebrate the school life today!

Day 4 (September 3): “Sometimes I Can’t Believe We’re Related” 10Join! Today is all about the iconic brother-sister pair, Fubuki Tenjoin/Atticus Rhodes and Asuka Tenjoin/Alexis Rhodes!

Day 5 (September 4): “Pass The Salt” No story is perfect. So what is something you wish you could have seen in the story of GX?

Day 6 (September 5): “Going Down With The Ships!” You know what I’m talking about. We all have an armada parked in the bay, but there’s that one ship, that one ship, that you would die for. Today is all about OTPs and OT3s!

Day 7 (September 6): “Bring the THUNDER” Ichi! Juu! Hyaku! Sen! Chazz it up! Today the world does in fact revolve around Jun Manjoume/Chazz Princeton.

Day 8 (September 7): “The Power of Friendship!” Favorite dynamic duo, two characters you think would have been friends if only they met, how friendship saves the day, or maybe a friendship fail. It’s up to you!

Day 9 (September 8): “Born to be Bad” Inherently evil, brainwashed, misguided, or misunderstood. GX boots a colorful cast of villainy. Who’s your favorite bad guy?

Day 10 (September 9): Free Day/Introductions Tell us about yourself and your GX experience! Your favorites, why you like it, how you got into it. Or leave the day open to do whatever you want!

Day 11 (September 10): “Cyber Legacy” No Yu-Gi-Oh! show is complete without a pair of brothers. Today’s stars are Sho Marufuji/Syrus Truesdale and Ryo Marufuji/Zane Truesdale!

Day 12 (September 11): “But What If We Had Bikes?” That’s right! It’s time for the GX crew to rev it up on their very own D-Wheels/Duel Runners!

Day 13 (September 12): “And You Are...?” Got a favorite OC? Or one you’ve been hiding in the closet? Introduce them to the world today!

Day 14 (September 13): “The Perfect Formula” He duels with the power math and science! Today, show the world that you still remember Daichi/Bastion Misawa!

Day 15 (September 14): “Insert pun here” It’s meme day! Recreate your favorites! Make some shitposts! Be the troll you’ve always wanted to be!

Day 16 (September 15): “Creation and Destruction” The Gentle Darkness and the Light of Destruction. The eternal struggle. And also the Darkness that tried to drown the world. Huh. Feels a little unbalanced.

Day 17 (September 16): “Putting the D in Destiny” Pro duelist by day and crime fighting vigilante by night. Today is Edo/Aster Phoenix’s day!

Day 18 (September 17): “In Another Life” It’s AU day!

Day 19 (September 18): “I Was Here Too!” GX has a vast array of unique characters, some of which we only saw once. Pick a “one shot” character and show them off!

Day 20 (September 19): Free Day 2/Support Fellow Creators Show some love for your favorite creators, or leave the day free for whatever you please!

Day 21 ( September 20): “Prehistoric Predators” The dino duelist with a fossil in his leg. Today is all about Kenzan Tyranno/Tyranno Hassleberry!

Day 22 (September 21): “Stop Blowing Holes In My Ship!” Some ships are popular and some are...not. Today is all about rare pairs and crack ships! Give those underdogs some love!

Day 23 (September 22): “And For Today’s Lesson...” The teachers at Duel Academy have their work cut out for them, but they still take care of their students. Show the DA staff some love today!

Day 24 (September 23): “Legend of the Seven Gems” Resurrect the greatest light in history today with Johan/Jesse Anderson and the Crystal Beasts!

Day 25 (September 24): “For The Glory of Academia!” We got to see Asuka/Alexis and Edo/Aster over in Fusion Dimension, but what about the rest of the cast? Show us some Fusion counterparts today! What are these dorks up to and what part do they play in the war?

Day 26 (September 25): “Dream Team From Overseas” Austin O’Brien/Axel Brody, Jim “Crocodile” Cook, and Amon/Adrian Gecko. Today is all about them!

Day 27 (September 26): “Duel Monster Spirit Day!” The world of GX is full of spirits. Do something fun to celebrate your favorite!

Day 28 (September 27): “Gold Eyes in The Darkness” Today’s all about the Supreme King! Unleash the Darkness and create your content!

Day 29 (September 28): “Don’t Forget Me!” Have an underappreciated character you wish you’d seen more of? Give them some love today!

Day 30 (September 29): Free Day 3 Share anything. Anything at all. It’s free game.

Day 31 (September 30): “Gotcha!”  The series ends with Judai/Jaden running off another adventure. But where is he going? Today’s the day to share your post-GX headcanons!

[turtle-steverogers]

I can’t write for shit but I know you are really talented ,so what about an angst about Spot going to war and he doesn’t make it back and Race and their 1 year old son go to visit his grave and talk to him? Idk you don’t have to do it if you don’t want to but I thought it was a really cool idea

hi! so this is a pretty on brand prompt (especially for a certain upcoming Thing, but...,,.,) but anyway yeah here’s a fic. hope i did your idea some justice!

warnings: lots of talk of death, but nothing graphic.  my shitty, caffeine muddled writing (truly, not my best work, sorry)

ship: sprace

word count: 1529

editing: nein

Just Out of Reach

“Aye, Sergeant, need some water up there?”

“Yeah, thanks man.”

A water bottle is passed up to Spot, and he takes it, taking one hand off the M2 machine gun that’s deadbolted down in front of him and using his teeth to unscrew the cap.  He hadn’t realized how goddamn thirsty he’d been, but it’s fairly easy and not at all uncommon to lose touch with yourself during the methodical cycle of a mission.  

Really, it’s just reconnaissance.  Mapping out the desolate land that surrounds base- cataloguing the unknowns and the possible threats.  It’s the simple stuff.  The required bits that make the more strategic missions possible.  But they still take long as hell and Spot’s willing to bet that he’s sweat through his fatigues by now as he bakes in the desert sun.  His helmet is scratchy and the army-issued goggles are digging into his skull, squeezing his brain and making his head throb.  The water helps a bit.

His vehicle is at the front of the convoy, and somehow, he found himself perched in the turret, calculating gaze scanning around for anything amiss.  They near an Iraqi village, vacated looking buildings lining either side of the sandy, dirt road.

Spot thinks he sees a few windows shutter closed and when he looks to his left, there’s a little girl (she can’t be more than five.  Christ)  sitting on her stoop, knees pulled up to her chest.  She’s staring at the convoy, eyes wide and fearful and fingers plugged into her ears.  Spot feels a pang of...of something.  Guilt, maybe.  Sympathy.

Really, none of these people asked for this.  They never wanted big, scary men in big, scary vehicles shouting out foreign remarks and invading their space- their homes.  

Spot forces his gaze back to the front, willing himself to focus back on the task at hand.  But he can’t help his mind wandering back to that little girl.  There was something about her.  The innocence, maybe.  The simplistic look of discernable fear in the face of something scary.

He thinks of Teddy.

His son’s own wide, brown eyes and chubby, five year old cheeks.  Really, they’re not so different- that girl and Teddy.  They’re lives are so drastically diverse from one another, but they share that same, innate naivete.  The all prevailing look of curiosity that only kids can convey.

Spot misses Teddy.

Granted, he always misses him and Race.  The feeling isn’t mutually exclusive to any one moment, but sometimes the ache will grow into more of a pain, gripping his chest with longing to kiss his husband and hug his son.  Maybe dig his fingers into Teddy’s sides as he picks him up and swings him, planting an exaggerated kiss on his cheek.  It’s a foolproof way to make him laugh.  And if Race is there, he’ll laugh too.  There are some things in life he can count on to be constant, and his family is one of them.

He comes back to himself as he nears a stoplight and suddenly, something in the world seems wrong.  He’s just about to secure himself around the gun when there’s a shout from down below and then the humvee is jerkily rolling to a stop and that’s when Spot sees the wire and that can only mean someone’s going to die if they don’t fucking stop right fucking now and--

Nothing.

-

“Papa, can we go see Daddy today?”

Race freezes halfway through screwing the cap off a carton of milk.  He turns to look at his son and finds him staring at him in all his six and a half year old glory.  His hair is a mess of bedhead and sleep and even though Race had gotten him up and dressed in a decent amount of time for a Saturday, he still looks rumpled.  But that’s just how kids are, Race guesses.

It had been a year since Race’s life took a tumble into the realm of his worst nightmare.  A year since Lieutenant Kelly and Sergeant Jacobs had shown up on his doorstep, clad in Army Service Uniforms and wearing twin, somber looks. 

It hadn’t taken long for Race to piece together why they were there.

That day was still hazy, a jumbled mix of numb shock and things like, “we regret to inform you” and “killed in action” and then there was Teddy pulling at his pant leg and asking him with those wide goddamn eyes why “guys dressed like Daddy” were there and Race didn’t know how to tell him that Daddy’s gone, because how the hell do you explain that to a five year old and he wasn’t equipped to deal with something like this and he still isn’t and-

Yeah.  A nightmare.

Race still isn’t sure if Teddy knows exactly what happened.  He seems to understand that Spot is gone and that fundamentally, he isn’t coming back, but he doesn’t think Teddy understands death yet.  The finality of it- the weight behind the concept.  

It was inexplicably haunting to see Teddy not crying at Spot’s funeral.  Race was crying.  Hell, Race was a mess.  It was so bad that Albert had to take over his eulogy and Jojo had to watch Teddy for a few minutes while he lost his shit in the bathroom.

But Teddy hadn’t cried.  He’d just clung to Race with a tight grip and wide, bewildered eyes, not saying a word.  

“Sure, bud,” Race says, shaking himself and pouring the milk into Teddy’s bowl of Lucky Charms, “we can go see Daddy.”

He takes Teddy along to Spot’s grave fairly often, but he never really knows how much of it he processes.  Like at the funeral, he’s always quiet and subdued when they go, never really saying anything.  Just sitting in Race’s lap, head bent into the crook of his neck as he stares at the headstone.  

“Yay!” Teddy bounces a little in his seat, grinning as Race sets his breakfast in front of him, “I want to tell him about my dance recital!”

Something in Race’s chest cracks open, making him feel simultaneously warm and cold and entirely overwhelmed. 

On their way to the cemetery later, they pass a man selling custom bouquets on the street.  Brilliant mixes of orchids and roses, gardenias and anemones, bleeding color into the cold grey of winter, and when Teddy sees them and turns that pleading look on Race, well, who is he to say no?

-

“Hi, Daddy!”

For once, Race stays a little off to the side, watching his son sit cross legged in front of Spot’s grave.  He’s talking, words spilling out at about a mile a minute, but Race tunes them out.  This is their private moment and he doesn’t want to get in the way of that.  

“I kinda wish you coulda seen it, but…” Teddy shrugs, mouth grimacing in a way that’s so strikingly Spot that Race has to close his eyes for a moment, “That’s okay.  I know you woulda come if you coulda.”

And, well, ouch.

“Anyway, I brought my scarf for you, Daddy,” Race opens his eyes to see Teddy carefully wrapping his little Thomas the Tank Engine scarf around the headstone, just over where he’d placed the flowers they picked up earlier, “‘Cause it’s getting cold and Papa always tells me that scarves help make you super warm.”

Race has to bite his lip to keep from crying or doing something stupid to ruin his son’s moment and, like, breakdown in front of him.

“Anyway, I’ll let you talk to Papa now, ‘cause I know he always likes to talk to you a little,” He smacks a kiss onto his palm and presses it to Spot’s engraved name, “Bye bye, Daddy, I love you.”

When he turns to look at Race, he’s smiling.  It’s big and unyielding and Race fucking melts, because this is all he really wants.  Sure, when Teddy gets older, Spot’s absence will ring loud and daunting, but hell, if he can have any ounce of peace with it then, well, Race...Race is fucking ecstatic.  He can handle this. 

“Your turn, Papa!” Teddy says, beckoning Race to sit down and climbing into his lap when he does.

“Thanks, little man,” Race hugs Teddy close, “Did you have a good time talking to Daddy?”

“Uh huh,” Teddy says, squirming a little in Race’s tight hold, “I know he was listening super good, I could feel it.”

Race swallows, “Oh yeah?” Teddy nods, “I’m super glad, Teds.”

And maybe, really, that’s what this is about.  Spot’s death was a curveball thrown with the wrong hand, jarring a perceived reality and shifting everything Race had known a little too far to the left.  And no, it isn’t okay.  Maybe it’ll never be okay, but it doesn’t have to be.  Spot’s still there, lingering somewhere in their hearts and made real by his memory- their memories of him.  He’s still palpable, still reachable, and if Teddy can feel it, maybe Race can too.

Race takes a breath, fortifying and fond, then smiles.  It doesn’t feel so strained and Race feels just that much lighter when he clears his throat.

“Hey, Spottie…”

-

it wasn’t very good don’t clown me please my brain said ‘sorry bud’ today

thanks for reading, chiefs

hmu to be added to my tag

TAG LIST: @getchapapes @we-dont-sell-papes @suddenly-im-respecsable 

@aw-jus-let-em-try @well-the-kids-do-too @spot-conlon-king-of-brooklyn @felix-loves-albert-and-ralbert @technically-whizzy

@andthewoildwillknow @the-newsies-justice-for-zas-blog @localfakeitalian @have-we-got-news-for-you @musical-shitposts @thebroadwayaesthetic

@thomasbeingthomas

@irondad-spiderson-duo

@snakesarenonexistent 

@i-got-no-clue-what-im-doing 

@kpop-kk

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@yxseminx

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@stopthe-presses

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@eveningpaper

@malex-13

@albert-eats-cookie-cake

@heart-a-n-o-n

@bitching-newsboys

@orollyitsracetrackhiggins

@joshuaburrageenthusiast

@random-superhero-stuff

@awkwardstranger98

@falling-out-trees-101

@modern-race-owns-airpods

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@rockyroad236

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@nerdsies

@toss-me-a-pape

@wolfbutterfly42

@revolutioninthesewers

@spot-the-brooklyn-pirate

@aintnosleevesinbrooklyn

[slightlykylie]

I joined a Frasier shitposting group on Facebook and earlier today someone posted something about Mel that turned into a full-blown Mel-hate-a-thon, and I... just read the comments a few times, left one pallid little comment about how she just needs some redemption fic and also I ship her with Lilith* so fire at will, and then left! They were even going off on *Jane Adams* and I let them! No boiling oil spilling from the parapets, no roaring tornado of flames encircling the whole lot of them, just... a sigh! What is happening? Who have I become?!

I did go off on like five people last week for daring to suggest that Audra McDonald is not the most perfect actress and also human being on the planet, so I guess I've just... moved on a bit? Sometime in the last *calculates* 18 years? Imagine that. Sorry, Jane, we had a real good run of it, my being exclusively and probably creepily infatuated with you, and I'll always treasure what we had, which was a weird one-way obsession. And Elna will always be my fave, and if anyone ever dares to belittle HER in any way I'll tear up the turf. So there's always that. Meanwhile, just because I stopped wanting to fill the Internet with flames any time someone slighted Mel in any way does not mean I do not want #JusticeForMel. Join me in noting that while she can be manipulative she genuinely cares for Niles and her manipulations are often meant to build Niles up (cf Whine Club), and we never see her tear him down in any way until after he ditches her three days into their honeymoon, and at that point, honestly, drag him, Mel. Anyway she's not nearly as bad as she is made out to be and also Jane Adams is super cute, thank you for coming to my TED Talk.

_________________

*Someone replied to this with "What's a shipper? " 😯

[crowsent]

Reaper At The Gates

Full disclosure, this book has 458 pages and I kinda cried on page 448 so this may or may not make sense because I am FUCKED UP right now. Page 448 has no goddamn diddly fucking RIGHT to be that emotional and Page 449 is fucking CRUEL. The page header. The fucking PAGE HEADER telling me which goddamn POV the chapter is in made my heart SAD and that shit should be illegal. Chapter LVIII had no fucking RIGHT and I’m suing for emotional trauma.

I am crying in the goddamn club right now. I am inundating this club with my tears and bringing about the second great flood because THIS FUCKING BOOK.

If you’ve been with me for ANY amount of time, you already know about this book because I started this book in the goddamn SUMMER of 2K19 and I only just finished today, on the day of our lord, February 10th 20 FUCKING 20. Took me a goddamn year to read this book and honestly?

Honestly I should have fucking finished this book earlier because HOLY SHIT.

The book is a rollercoaster that I got shoved on without a seatbelt or something to hold onto, then subsequently yeeted into a sea of emotions that hit me on the head like a fucking WARHAMMER. The author, Sabaa Tahir, is a goddamn sorceress. Her words are twists and turns and it is all I can do to hold on.

With every fibre of my being, from the pull of my muscles to the creaking of my very bones, I wish so so desperately to have copies of the first two books so I can experience them again. So I can start the journey all over again. So that when I read this FUCKING BOOK, everything is fresh on my mind.

It’s the third book in the Ember In The Ashes series and when I say that I am shooketh. This book swung for my goddamn kneecaps and went for my jugular.

It is painful.

Let me say this right fucking now that it is PAINFUL. The imagery is beautiful and brutal. The sentences are skillfully crafted knives that are thrown at me with precision. It is a thunderstorm that has long since been spotted but has yet to strike. Anticipation builds and builds and builds until you feel like you’re going to crack under the pressure. And then the storm comes. And you break.

This book is fucking painful. Characters I’ve loved, characters I saw laughing, crying, howling with hurt, characters that I’ve grown attached to, are subjected to so many things that I can’t help but feel for them. They are clay, Tahir is the sculptor, and I am the poor fool watching them get broken down to be molded again, hoping desperately that this time, this time, they’ll be fine.

It’s fucking painful.

And beautiful.

Because this book is a goddamn thunderstorm, and it finally struck. It set fires that burned down trees and houses, but lit up a dark night. These characters grow so much and I grow with them. My mind is constantly thinking with every page I turned, trying to find some comfort when the book offered me pain, trying to find the wounds when I am offered mercy.

The plot is strong. The characters are stronger. All three of the main leads are thoughtfully crafted. You can see into their minds when they speak. You can feel every beat of their heart when they act. You can hear their goddamn fucking souls crying out with every atrocity they face and witness and commit. And the villain? I pity him. I pity him and hate him and love him. The villain is not a force of pure evil. The villain is broken. And some part of me wants him to win. The side characters are no slouch either. That small snippet of Alistar made my breath hitch and my heart harden. And Alistar is one of the lesser side characters, not as prominent as Harper or Dex, but he was there and I was not okay. And Keris. Just. Keris.

And the best part is that ALL of the characters change. They grow, for better or worse.

I don’t think it’s for everyone because of its kind of sensitive content. War. Slavery. The brutality of mankind on full display. Pain and pain and pain with nothing to show for it. Failure and sadness and betrayal. Hurt that runs so deep it colours the soul. But if you can handle that kind of content, read it.

You kind of have to read the first two books, but the third one is worth it. The first two books are good, but this one is visceral. I felt empty when I finished, and I felt different when I finished. Not in any kind of profound way, mind you. This book didn’t change my life or anything, but it did change me.

It made me think of things a little bit too deep for my usual shitposting fuckall veneer. It made me think of life and death, of duty and sacrifice, of pain and love and of people. Not everyone is black and white. Even the darkest of souls, the most monstrous of monsters, the most ruthless, heartless, cruel, vicious beasts have some good in them. They can love and they can mourn. They can fight to the death for what they believe in. And even the kindest people, the ones with bright smiles and gentle hands, the ones who are sunlight on a dark day, can be capable of wickedness.

I don’t think about the duality of man that often. By that I mean never. On a subconscious, hidden part of me, I know that mankind is never black and white. Everyone is grey. Someone who hated you so deeply can love someone so much it aches. Someone you would bring the stars down for could be a hideous sinful creature. And this book brought that to the surface. It made me LOOK.

The series was always a little dark, but I underestimated how deep this cesspool of emotions ran. The line “Skies save me from the men in my life and all the things they think they know” did not, in any way, reveal just how much of a painful, beautiful, vicious thing this book was.

The prophecies made me wrack my head for an answer. And just when I think I have it in my grasp, something else gets revealed. “When the Butcher bows to the deepest love of all.” A love for kinsmen, for the Butcher’s people, for the Butcher’s family. And the Ghost? “The Ghost will fall, her flesh will wither.” When the meaning, the TRUE meaning of that line got revealed, I lost my shit. This book yall. This fucking book.

My only major gripe about it is how much it used the word “bleeding” as a swear word. Y’all call Keris “piece of shit human being” Veturia the Bitch of Blackcliff but y’all won’t let Laia of Serra say the word fuck? Okay. But we ain’t talking about that.

Fourth book is coming and boy fucking howdy I was not prepared for how much I want it. I want it so much I can’t put it into words. What I can put into words, somewhat, is how much I feel for THAT scene. You know. THAT scene. Spoilers for the three things that destroyed me the most emotionally below

What we are talking about, is Helene Aquilla. She deserved none of the shit that happened to her. My beautiful, beautiful daughter deserved none of the pain, none of the suffering, none of the tears and the worry and the strife she was given. My daughter deserves to be HAPPY goddammit. And what? First you subject her to emotional trauma by having Marcus torture her sister over and over. You poison Livvy and subject Helene to a terror so visceral and vicious that she blames herself for putting Livvy in danger even though it wasn’t her fault? You tease the Harper thing but then you take it away from her. Just like you take everything away from her.

How fucking dareth????? Helene deserves more than that??? Like the Harper/Helene ship has set sail and docked in the empty harbour of my heart. Their interactions are so goddamn GOOD and then you take everything away just like that. They kiss near the end of the book and all of a sudden, it’s gone. It’s nothing.

That moment in Navium? Where Helene was almost killed but saved at the last and final moment? The scene where Harper urges Helene to trust him, to let him carry some of her burdens, to allow Harper to see part of her. “Needing protection is not a weakness. Refusing to trust your allies is.” That quote ripped me the fuck apart. And I think it was this moment that the Helene/Harper ship truly and irrevocably burrowed within me. I will not let this go. I will, and I do not say this lightly, go down with this fucking ship. Even if it burns and drops into the bottom of the ocean as nothing but wasted wood, I will go down with this fucking ship because BRUH.

And Laia of Serra? First you have her captured. Then you have her see her people beaten over and over again. Then, and fucking THEN you have her discover her mother’s identity and the violence her mother has committed right before her meeting with Cook? You fucking do that shit?????? HELLO?????

That reveal destroyed me. Cook has been with us since the first book. She was something familiar. Amidst all the chaos and suffering, cook was the one single constant in the book. No matter how much the scene changed, or how the plot shifted, Cook was always there. Always present. And we learn that she is Laia’s mother. And THEN she fucking dies. And Laia has to live the rest of her life knowing that her mother had been so close to her, and she never noticed. Knowing that her mother died to protect her. Like nani the fucko was up with that??????

But you know what really hurts about Cook? What really hammers the rusty nail of pain inside my long-dead heart?

It’s the stutter.

For some goddamn fucking reason, when Cook said “You’re just like your f-f-f-fath-” I FELT that. Some part of me recoiled. I wanted to put the book down. Because while I knew that she killed her daughter and husband, I never had to actually KNOW that she killed her daughter and husband. That scene was impersonal. That scene was much like how Mirra of Serra snapped the necks of the people she loved. Quick. Painless. I did not know that she killed her daughter and husband because when that scene happened, Mirra of Serra was just putting them to sleep. But then she stuttered. “L-L-L-L-Lis.” “F-fath-fath” And she can’t say it. Because their deaths haunt them.

Because she killed them.

That was the moment it sank in for me. She is not Mirra of Serra. She is Cook. Because Mirra of Serra died with Lis. Because Mirra of Serra died with her husband. Because Mirra of Serra died long ago and this was the moment I realised it. “Curse this world for what it does to the mothers, for what it does to the daughters,” Helene said. I fucking agree. Out of everyone in the cast, the world took the most from Cook. I will never get over that.

But you know the one thing that really destroyed me? The one thing that made me realise that this book IS merciless and this book WILL shoot for a killing blow?

LVIII

The penultimate chapter.

The bitch of a chapter that took what’s left of my heart, raw and bleeding from the miraculous escape and alliance in the previous chapter, and just shattered it. It squeezed my raw, vulnerable, bleeding heart until it was nothing but dust.

Look at the chapter title.

LVIII: The Soul Catcher

Not Elias. The Soul Catcher.

He’s not Elias anymore.

Elias is gone.

He’s just the Soul Catcher now.

[miran-native]

About the White Whale

I’ve always wondered why the White Whale was labeled L-002. Why just number 2 when it was clear that Elma (arguably the most important person of this whole undertaking) would board it. She said herself that the White Whale was one hell of a ship already (I think in her last Affinity Mission), so the L-001 probably was as well.

I also thought that just because they based their habitat unit on the old Los Angeles didn’t necessarily mean that the White Whale launched from there (in earlier concept art this was supposed to be New Tokyo after all), but today I had an idea and went to check on something interesting: 

The largest cities in the US

In case you are too lazy to click the link: The largest cities of the US (as of 2018) are:

New York City

Los Angeles

Chicago

Houston

Phoenix

Sooo, maybe the White Whale did indeed launch from (nearby) LA and maybe that’s why the habitat unit we came to know as New Los Angeles was based on LA in the first place. Numbering the arks from largest city to smallest is kinda sensible after all. 

It doesn’t explain why Elma was on the L-002 instead of the L-001 (or any of the others for that matter), but I do have a headcanon you guys that I really wanted to share (with recent news of a certain event that occured earlier on at Sep 20th this might go into shitpost territory, but idc lmao):

Do you see the airport labeled “Homey Airport”? This is pretty much where Area 51 is - and out of the cities mentioned above Los Angeles is the closest one. (Las Vegas isn’t even in the top 15, and honestly with an ark covering the perimeter of LA I doubt there is a second nearby.)

I once thought it would be hilarious if Elma landed by mere chance on Area 51, spooked the people there, but eventually got them to listen (and more importantly, believe her) about the incoming war and stuff and over time made this more or less her home base.

(With some of the military higher ups supporting/helping her it would make it easier for her to talk to the president and his aide (Chausson, whom we know was aide when Elma came to Earth) without being outed as xeno to the public.)

I don’t have any reason to believe this except that it would be funny af, but hoenstly it... kind of fits? XD

(Yet, I still don’t know what the L in L-002 is supposed to stand for >.>)

[fanfictionlive]

An Ode to Crackfic

Ever since I was a kid, I’ve loved books and writing, but as I got older, I lost motivation to write and got stuck in a rut. I’m sure a lot of people can relate. Despite being a fandom nerd, I refused to touch fanfiction out of pretentiousness, thinking it made me an inferior writer. However, one night earlier this year, after not touching writing at all for months, my friends and I opened a google doc together and started writing the most absurd things that came to our heads. One thing led to another, and we ended up making a shared ao3 account to post our crackfics. I didn’t expect to get any recognition at all, recalling my experience on Wattpad as a kid, but to my surprise, I have a total of 2K hits across all of my crackfics as of today. Because of crackfic, I’ve rediscovered my love of writing, and it’s even helped me to get back to making original works again. I can’t express how grateful I am to people who read this type of thing, no matter how silly it may seem at first glance.

I think there’s a certain beauty in crackships and crackfic: one can take two things that aren’t connected in the slightest and/or a wild premise and weave it into something beautiful. The bad thing is that crackshipping dooms you to the ninth layer of rarepair hell because very few people will ship it the way you do. It goes to show that, sometimes, a high-effort shitpost is exactly what you need.

So thank you, fanfic authors and readers. You’ve breathed life back into a passion I thought I’d lost to time and despair.

submitted by /u/plumichor [link] [comments] from FanFiction: Where Magical Ponies battle Imperial Titans https://ift.tt/3np4QsS

[welcometomy20s]

August 6, 2021

Reddit Shitpost Review

Review of Season 2 up to Episode 3

The odd coincidence of two fiery and revolutionary redheads retiring around the same time has been noted around the web, and it’s a good starting point for this review. Conan O’Brien is well respected today, but his story has mostly been coming out of a shadow of someone who was great. David Letterman famously moved to CBS as he was bumped out of position by Jay Leno for the Tonight Show, therefore the Late Night had to be replaced by someone new, and someone decided the talented writer of SNL and the Simpson should be the one to take the role. Thus Conan took the helm.

Conan O’Brien’s Late Night had famously a rough start. Conan could replicate the madness of David Letterman, but not his charm. (Of course, Letterman’s CBS show toned down on the antics of his earlier show, making it bland, something similar to Stephen Colbert even though there was a potent political aspect) It took a couple of years for his brand of manners to be accepted by the public, since Conan is charming but very differently from the more conventional charm of Letterman.

Conan O’Brien had to do the same task again by taking over Leno, and that was a failure by anticipation. O’Brien needed months and Leno was impatient in getting his even-more primetime show off the block. In the end, both sides imploded, and Conan ran away to TBS, a smaller place but a place of more comfort for Conan. Conan has been better at holding a niche together, bouncing off his eccentricity against the rest of the world, which is why his travel series is one of the most successful.

I wrote all this preamble to show just how hard it is to take over a well-respected tradition, especially when it was not the conventional choice. Coco’s Reddit Shitpost Review might not be as famous as the Tonight Show or Late Night, but it does garner a sizable audience, and more crucially, a diverse one. When helming this ship, one must be wary of the large turn compared to its relative size. Which was why many were skeptical, someone would take over the show at all.

Haachama would not be the first pick for many. Haachama was on a long hiatus at the time, having an Ano-sized implosion in developing the COEXIST arc, and many wonder if she would ever come back. Most thought she would be like Shion at first, only appearing every couple of months, perhaps a cover or two. Besides, Haachama falls into a hole between comprehension of English and Japanese, which makes her pretty terrible for what Coco did, translating Western culture to a Japanese audience.

But as August slowly approached, and many Hololive members were being swamped with the live show prep bonanza, Haachama appeared out of the blue, re-energized with the motive to take over the Reddit Shitpost Review. This was taken with many jubilation, but also skepticism and worry, as explained above. Can Haachama do it?

But within that skepticism and worry, people forgot about the brilliance of Haachama that makes her unparalleled among her peers. Her COEXIST arc was brilliant in her ability to weave together fan submissions, sometimes minutes before the next episode was due. Her early schedule was consistent and varied even in her harsh environment living in Australia and her Minecraft skills are of the grandest scales, almost bordering on madness. Haachama has so much talent that it scares away people.

So, within three episodes, Haachama’s Shitpost Review was made onto her own with quite a bit of success. Sure, Haachama has a hard time understanding memes, and gives her own spin sometimes, but Coco also had odd ideas about how the meme functioned. And when Haachama did start to understand how memes function, her meme selection has actually been more in-line with the humor code of the general reddit public, therefore the actual contents are a bit more entertaining than previous.

And Haachama has not been afraid of adding her ideas, to the point her passed-overs (the intro screen, GMMF, *next meme*) feels like an unnecessary homage. In the face of the fact of how well-cherished Coco as a personality, especially to the fans of the show, this is an astounding achievement. Third episode was a masterpiece in weaving Haachama’s style to the format of Shitpost review. Her commercial break not only harks back to a similar gag in AsaCoco, it gives long video memes a chance to breathe. And superimposing Botan and Subaru onto a very poorly acted gunfight was greatly synergistic, brilliant in its own right, and a rare one. Three beats of a great meme.

And Haachama has been aggressive in flirting with copyright, since she can be aggressive. Haachama might have been the only one who has gotten a free pass with the whole fall situation, which means there isn’t really much of a target on her head. This also makes the review more in-line with the general ethos, and makes the review more enjoyable as a result. Haachama took her advantage and ran with it, one of the best things about Haachama’s work.

[immegod]

A, E, and P! :D

A- Ships that you currently like a lot. (They don’t have tobe OTPs because not everyone has OTPs.) Friendships, pairings, threesomes, etc.are allowed.

LIZZINGTON is definitely my top pairing rn if you couldn’t tellhaha. If I could have Liz with anyone else though it would definitely be Samaralthough Aram/ Samar are pretty cute. My fave brotp by far is Dembe and Red I lovethem so much. I also love whenever Red/Ressler and Aram/Dembe get to interactand I would like some more of that.

I’m in a weird point rn where the blacklist is really theonly fandom I’m actively following, but I did just finish watching the Punisherwhere I definitely ship Frank/ Karen. For other Marvel shit I ship the fuck outof Jess and Trish from Jessica Jones and just want everyone to stop hurting myson tony and his son peter so like both of them x happiness.

E - Have you added anything cracky/hilarious to yourfandom? If so, what?

I like to think some of my shitposts are kinda funny? Maybe I’mjust making myself laugh which I’m totally fine with haha. That being said peoplein this fandom are absolutely hilarious and I love reading everyone else’scracks.

P - - Invent a random AU for any fandom (we alwaysneed more ideas).

I love this question!! Not really an AU but I would read theshit out of anyone who wanted to write about the younger life of RaymondReddington (or whoever he really is). ALSO maybe have Red meeting Liz (who’dhave to be aged up to about his age to keep things from being squishy) muchearlier- maybe when he’s just starting to be corrupted by the Cabal if he doesn’thave a wife and daughter and see how that changes the timeline. I’ve just beenreally obsessed with thinking about what made Red the way he was and how much ofwho he is today was how he was born and how much was forced into him by  circumstance.