#shiro was closeted

[melsany]

in this rewatch of voltron i have discovered that there is no fucking way shiro was out at the garrison or at any point during the course of the show:

1) his significant other was either a, not informed of his return even though he worked on site, or b, unable to because no one knew in the first place. (let’s be honest if adam had known he would’ve been with keith from the get go)

2) shiro does not send a video message home with sam holt in s4. mentions no family or homesickness at all.

3) he never speaks about adam. for 4 seasons we believe adam had no ties to anyone and only find out abt adam via a flashback. keith does know but only because the parental roles the 2 filled for him. and he doesn’t talk abt it either.

4) during the ride home he doesn’t talk abt adam

5) when they land he doesn’t ask for adam. he salutes iverson and then introduces allura romelle and coran.

6) his “big emo scene” abt finding out adam is dead only consists of him touching the memorial and saying “adam. im so sorry.” iverson offers no real comfort as one would if they knew the intimacy they shared so i can only conclude that

7) iverson and the entire garrison thought that they were ROOMMATES. COLLEAGUES. GOOD PALS.

8) he doesn’t talk to anyone abt his grieving.

9) we don’t see him meet curtis or develop any sort of relationship with him while they’re on the atlas for presumably months to years.

10) they get married waayyyy after everything is over which gives shiro time to come out off screen.

NOBODY FUCKING KNEW

[easterndelights]

きのう何食べた? What Did You Eat Yesterday? (2019) | S01E08

“No, I’m not angry at Kenji. I’ve lived this long, yet I’m still scared shitless to be seen as gay. I’m angry at myself for being so pathetic. I wouldn’t be surprised if he never came back.”

[piningforthefjords]

Believe (Extended Remix) | shiro kuma

[alexvandrya]

Oldschool shiro today 🤍 Something about this coordinate just makes me feel so *me* 😌

•

CW: Death mention- Today is the one year anniversary of my fathers passing. Without even thinking, I picked out this coordinate to wear today not realizing it’s almost exactly the same coordinate I wore when I was told about his passing. I know it may seem trivial to some, but to me it means something. When I look in my closet, I see memories, not just clothes.

•

Coordinate rundown -

JSK - Custom Glittertale

Blouse - Magic Potion

Socks - Roji Roji

Headdress - Junyvette

Shoes - Demonia

Parasol - Moi Meme Moitie

[redwolfxx]

if you died

(Gun x reader)

TW: angst, themes of death, mentions of religion

Summary: You die, how does he react

A/N: Sorry it's been a while, running low on inspiration. Was gonna add some others but wasn't sure on how they might react so I'll save it for another time. Lmk your thoughts!

---------------------------------------------------------

Gun

If it was of natural causes:

He would watch your body in the hospital bed with an eerie quiet. His features softer than normal but absent of emotion .

He'd examine your face ever peacefully sleeping in the silence of the room, no mechanical beeps from the machines, nothing. Just silence.

He'd eventually leave you and return back to his place for the night.

At first he had no plans of keeping any of you, he was, at Goo's advice, going to remove all fragments of you from his life, the clothes in his closet, the shoes by the door.

But he couldn't do that to you. So instead, he went to your apartment using the spare key you gave him a while back. He quietly rummages through your apartment, taking the ring you would always fiddle with, the stupid photos you took at every photo booth you passed, he took a few more items, before he was done.

He stood in your foyer, looking around your apartment, it was quiet, and lifeless. Your apartment was always the opposite, your cat attacking him whenever she saw him, your plants everywhere blocking walkways, your gaudy framed artwork livening up the place.

But it was empty and painfully quiet. Your plants given away to trusting friends, your cat given to your sister, and your artwork given to friends and family.

He almost felt his heartache, but that's not an emotion reserved for him. He didn't deserve to feel emotions such as that, for he was a monster, a criminal, void of such emotions.

No linger willing to withstand this feeling, he left your apartment without looking back, with the mementos he took in his passenger seat, where you should've been. He drives back to his place and places your memories around his place. Next to that plant that you gave him that won't die. Next to your brightly colored IKEA drawers you put next to his dark mahogany one.

He isn't ready to lock you in a drawer, to leave you out back. Anger swirls inside him, because how could they take you from him, you have done nothing wrong in your life, you still had so much more to give this world and they took you away.

Why was it not him, he wonders, and he will never stop wondering. He never moves on, not celibate because he's not a eunuch, but he remains loveless, his heart reserved for you and only you.

If anyone brings you up in a less than honorable way, he rips their throats out. Nobody will taint your name, not even his, so he doesn't speak your name in public, to keep your memory pure and bright.

But in the dark hours of the night, as the clock ticks and the silence of the night is all to be heard. He whispers your name. Hoping it will bring you back to him. Even if in a dream.

However, if you were killed:

As he watched your body, lifeless. He feels his fists close, and his heart burn with fury. You had died alone, and likely frightened and he was not able to protect you.

His anger grows and his face morphs into one of pure unbridled fury.

Your killer had fled the scene, he did not know their motive, but he assumed it likely had to do with revenge against Gun himself.

He doesn't sleep, doesn't rest, not until he has the one who did it in his grasp. And as they beg for mercy, he reminds him he is the Shiro Oni, and since when was he known for mercy? With that, he burns their house to the ground, he makes sure that watch as he destroys everything they've worked for, watches as everyone leaves and they are all alone in this world.

Gun was never a man of mercy. He does everything in his power to make they're life one of pain and anguish. And only once Gun is satusfied does he let them die in the gutters of the world. In an alley on a cold rainy night, alone.

Once Gun has his peace he goes to your resting site. And prays to whatever God he can that you come back to him, or even to switch places with him. He could not live knowing you had died for him in a way, all alone, waiting for him to come save you, which he never did.

He almost cries reading your name, engraved into the stone, he almost yells into the night, cursing the world. But he doesn't. He carefully gets up, leaving your favorite flowers by your stone and he leaves.

He returns to his place where a box is on his doorstep. It's in your handwriting. He carefully brings it inside and places it on a table.

He stares at the box, curious and hesitant. He doesn't open the box for a long time for fear of what might be in it. Always looking at it as he passed it, but never opening it, nor moving it.

Eventually Goo threatens to open it if he doesn't and Gun pushes him out and locks the door behind him (Not that that will actually keep him out, but it's more of a symbolic gesture).

On a late night when he misses you more than other nights, he goes to the box and opens it.

At the top lies a letter to him, a handwritten letter explaining that this was to be sent to him should something happen and a letter expressing your love for him and your hopes for him to move on. Which he won't ever.

The contents of the box are composed of photos you've taken over the time you've spent together. Some of him, some of you, some of that bastard Goo (you definitely did that to mess with him). But there was also your most treasured ring which you never took off, your favorite plants with a sheet of care instructions next to it and a threat to have him killed should it die. There were also smaller knickknacks and mementos from your escapades together.

He carefully moved them around his apartment, plant here, random gaudy I ❤️ NY sign here, etc.

Once he reorganized his place with your items intertwined it felt like home once more. It felt like the home you always talked about late at night when you told him about your dreams and hopes for your future.

He would never move on, you were the only one he could ever imagine being with and nothing would change that.

Every night he would pray to whoever in hopes for your revival and return to him. His prayers would go unanswered, but life would move on.

He would move a few times, taking all of your memories with him to the new place, asking you if you like your new home, which always went unanswered.

He would die alone, as you had, but in spirit and memory you never left his side.

[atla-what-is-this-site]

Voltron Bloopers

*Keith is standing holding half of his bayard in front of a sentry* *off camera*: Keith what happened?

Keith, sadly: it broke

————————

Shiro: y’all

*cut* Shiro: y’all

*cut* Shiro: Yoll?

*cut* Shiro: you’ll

*cut* Shiro: y’all- fuck, PALADINS!!

————————

*scene being filmed between Allura and Coran* Coran: ya know, your father put this handy dandy hologram into the ship so you could talk- *shiro screams off set* Allura: what the fuck was that?

Keith, appearing just on set, using two pieces of armor to trap a spider: where’s the back exit again?

————————

*Allura glaring at Keith* Keith, with his most innocent eyed expression: princess

Allura, looking away: shit i can’t do this

————————

Lance, angrily: I’ll stick you in a-

Keith: *laughing*

Lance, also laughing: stop you’re contagious!

—————————

Shiro, looking at Keith’s conspiracy board: what is

Shiro, elbowing Lance in the face: THIS- shit Lance you ok?

—————————

Pidge: I programmed this robot to- what did I program it to do again?

————————

*During “the journey”* *Shiro is strapped to the table* *Kosmo runs in and leaps up onto Shiro’s chest* Shiro: aww who’s a good boy? *pulls arm out of restraint to pet him*

Handler, rushing to drag the dog away: dammit Kosmo not again

————————

Hunk: so Pidge, what’s your favorite food?

Hunk: *opens cabinet*

Matt, working on his newest coding project in the cabinet: oh hey guys

Pidge, perfect deadpan: I guess you could say he was in the closet.

Director: get out of the closet, Matt

Matt: I’m bi

Director: NOT LIKE THAT

Hunk: Matt get off the set

————————

Coran: you ever heard of a Red tailed fishmonger?

Pidge: oh yea my brother’s one

Coran: a giant sentient mammal?

Pidge: a furry who likes fish

————————

*lance gets into the Blue Lion* *barbie girl starts playing* Lance: 🎶oh I’m a Paladin in a giant lioon🎶

————————

[black--sun]

@white--moon

Ichigo plucks a pencil out of the cup on the desk and uses his shorter knife to sharpen it down until it’s even height with all the rest. Then he nudges Shiro’s pens into a line. He’s already straightened the rest of a desk that looks like it hasn’t seen use in months. Maybe years. Ichigo rocks the chair back on its hind feet and does the math to see if that time frame adds up before glancing over the room again.

It’s the only room that could possibly be Shiro’s. But just in case, he’d checked the closet.

Shiro is around somewhere, but Ichigo’s been waiting hours for him to make an appearance. It might be time to risk guards and go looking. What if he left to head back to the city while Ichigo’s been closed in his room?

He shouldn’t be here.

He stands from the desk to keep from getting too comfortable. As if he could. From the window, he can just make out the lighted pool and the floor to ceiling glass windows that lead out to it at the back of the mansion.

…Nice to see he isn’t still some kind of exhibitionist.

The entire place is so Shiro, it leaves a dull ache in his chest.

Ichigo hopes those windows below are bulletproof. Not that Shiro ever seemed to care much for real security. Ichigo wonders if that’s changed. Wonders if he’s the first person to come hang out in Shiro’s bushes and figure out the routes and timing of the guards. Though, Shiro always did have a knack for inhabiting spaces that were defensible more from the inside out. Escaping wasn’t much of an option back when Shiro ran his people from the warehouse. Maybe it’ll be that way here, too.

He crosses his arms. There’s blood under his nails, not that it can be seen in the dim light. Neither can his black outfit. But Ichigo steps into the shadows all the same as someone passes in front of the door. He still wears a harness, but now it’s on the outside of his shirt and holds a small collection of throwing knives and a gun. Shiro’s old knife is back to being tucked into his boot, still his favorite and the most reliable in his collection.

When he was hired for this job, he’d nearly told the guy to fuck off and not to bother. Shiro’s definitely the type of person Ichigo would agree to kill, but then again, Ichigo was also the type of person he’d agree to kill these days. He can’t imagine Shiro ending up stuck on someone’s knife if that scenario doesn’t also include that someone’s bloody death. Though, he also didn’t anticipate the swell of protective temper that surfaced.

He frowns. Maybe Shiro’s entertaining. Or maybe Shiro’s changed and Ichigo shouldn’t be poking around here, waiting to be killed himself.

[welcometothejianghu]

Welcome to another round of W2 Tells You What You Should See, where W2 (me) tries to sell you (you) on something you should be watching. Today's choice: きのう何食べた? / Kinou Nani Tabeta? / What Did You Eat Yesterday?

Kinou Nani Tabeta? (which I'm going to abbreviate here to NaniTabe) is a live-action adaptation of a manga with the same name, which tells the story of two middle-aged Japanese gay men as they navigate their relationship, their families, and their professional lives, all while having some good meals.

Do you want something nice? Do you want a show that's just ... nice? Not saccharine, not cloying, not reductive, but just cozy and kind? This! This is what you want. Every episode deals with some events in their lives, and then the action will pause once or twice while someone demonstrates how to make a meal. There's no real overarching plot. You just get to peek in on them every so often and see how they're doing.

...Shit, I'm just going to steal the GagaOOLala second-season synopsis, it's perfect:

Shiro Kakei and his partner, Kenji Yabuki, live a life full of some hardship but mostly happiness together, with Shiro's speciality cooking affordable and delicious dishes. As they turn 50, they begin to experience different changes, but Shiro and Kenji are still gentle with each other as they move on to a new stage in their lives.

So here I am, a middle-aged gay who cooks affordable and (mostly) delicious dishes and treats my partner gently, serving you a five-course meal of reasons that you should watch this show -- especially if you too are a middle-aged gay, in which case I'd say this goes straight from "should watch" to "unmissable."

1. Help, my face hurts from smiling too much

Prepare to get your heart warmed whether you like it or not.

Kakei Shiro, the main character, is a closeted gay attorney in his forties whose main likes are cooking and saving money. He lives with his slightly younger boyfriend, Yabuki Kenji, who is a very openly gay hairstylist. They're an incredibly unlikely couple who somehow manage to make a relationship work, kind of to their mutual surprise.

I called bullshit on the show early on: This relationship is cute, I said, but this is not the behavior of guys who have been together a decade. But as the show unfolded, it became clear that I was so wrong -- their behavior is perfect, because these middle-aged boys actually haven't been together nearly that long. In fact, once you finally get the story of how their relationship started, yeah, it explains a lot of their insecurities and awkwardnesses about one another. Combine that with how Shiro's a neurotic mess who absolutely does not want anyone to know that he's gay, while Kenji lives on eggshells for fear of rejection, and it all starts to make sense.

It helps that the two leads have incredible chemistry. Not in a horny way, mind you (the show is incredibly, and intentionally, nonsexual, but more on that later), but where they genuinely make one another smile and laugh. Nishijima Hidetoshi plays Shiro as an anxious mess who slowly learns to become at least a little more comfortable in his own queer skin. I have a t-shirt that says Oh, Honey and I want to put it on every time he does something.

Meanwhile, it would have been so easy to make Kenji a caricature, but Uchino Seiyou skips right past the stereotype and plays the behavior that the stereotype comes from. He minces his way along as Kenji so perfectly, I was surprised to find out he's married to a lady in real life. He's got to be doing an impression of someone he actually knows, because his faggotry is just too accurate.

Their relationship is far from perfect. They're capable of annoying the tar out of one another, sometimes on purpose. They keep secrets and avoid talking about feelings. They get jealous over completely irrational things. They want things the other person isn't comfortable giving. They get into petty little arguments over petty little shit.

And because of all that, it feels real.

Also, if you're one of those Jane Austen bitches who swoons every time lovers scandalously brush knuckles, well, here you go.

2. Surprisingly educational about the state of gay life in modern Japan!

This is not incidental: Like the manga, the show uses this cute food-based story to present a fairly realistic snapshot of what it's like to be a middle-aged gay couple in Japan right now.

Like the manga it's based on, the show goes out of its way to be incredibly nonsexual, to the point where Kenji and Shiro barely touch, much less kiss or even hint at getting naked together. It is very consciously and deliberately attempting to counteract the stereotype of the hypersexualized, salacious homosexual by presenting two gay men who are delightfully mundane.

It is not, however, homonormalization. There's no attempt here to make an argument that gay people are just like straight people, only with incidentally matching genitals. Every time someone falls prey to the pressure to conform to cishet gender norms, it ends badly for them. While the first-episode conflict establishes that Kenji tops, he's also the fruity hairstylist who does the housekeeping. Shiro's the straight-passing suit-and-tie guy, yet he's the one who cooks and goes grocery-shopping. They have a division of labor based on personality traits, not gender roles. In fact, their relationship as presented challenges a lot of those norms by decoupling gendered expectations from the necessities of everyday living.

(This isn't even just me getting my queer studies goo all over everything! Allow me to be a good academic and send you to two people who've done even more thinking about this than I have: the unfortunately paywalled "Queer Cooking And Dining: Expanding Queerness In Fumi Yoshinaga's What Did You Eat Yesterday?" by Katsuhiko Suganuma, and the more freely available "Queering the Palate: The Erotics and Politics of Food in Japanese Gourmet Manga" by Keiko Miyajima.)

Every so often, one of the episodes' conflicts will have to do with how gay people in Japan do not have equal rights and protections under the law. This doesn't just mean they can't get married -- not having a spouse and children actually messes with a lot of legal stuff, including inheritance and government assistance. Sometimes the show will even take a beat to have one of the characters explain to another what a certain statute says. Changing laws about same-sex partnerships even get factored into the story!

And sure, I don't know these things, but I bet a lot of straight people in Japan don't know these things either. Well, if you watch the show, now you do!

It's important that no one is ever outright shitty to Shiro or Kenji. No one calls them slurs or hate-crimes them or refuses to serve them at a business or anything like that. In fact, the majority of people they encounter are perfectly chill and even outright supportive. The most serious challenges they face are bigger than individual people being dicks. They're about systemic barriers to equality.

That said, there are still plenty of instances of individual people being dicks -- just not maliciously. In fact, most of the homophobic sentiments in the show come from the mouths of people who are otherwise supportive of Shiro and/or Kenji! These nice people seem like they're way okay with the gay ... and then they let slip that, no, they're actually not as okay with it as they think they are.

And I love that the show includes that, because I know that feeling way too well. When these things happen, our boys don't throw a righteous fit or cut the offender off completely. They just ... absorb the blow, sigh quietly, and keep going with the belief that the person in question means well. It just sucks, you know? It sucks to have to know now that your straight lady friend who thinks it's great that you're gay would be uncomfortable if her daughter were a lesbian. You're not going to stop being friends with her, and you're not even going to hold it against her, but it lives in your mind now, and you're going to add it to the I Am A Disappointment To My Parents rotation of intrusive thoughts.

Speaking of parents, Shiro's incredibly fraught relationship with his aging parents is hands-down one of the best parts of the show. They love him, he loves them, but they don't always know how to love one another. As their childless only child, Shiro finds himself having to support them in spite of a lot of hurt they've caused him because of his sexuality. He would in many ways be justified in cutting them off -- after all, many other gay people in the show no longer speak to one or both of their parents! Shiro wants to keep them in his life, though. He'll just have to learn how, for his sake and for Kenji's, to lovingly set boundaries.

This, to me, is the most important lesson a show about boring gays can teach a straight audience: There's always a background level of suck. You can be as chaste and normie and regular as you want, but you'll never be normal, because there's literally nothing you can do to erase the background level of suck.

It's easy to reduce someone else's oppression to Big Bad Events, and then to assume that the absence of these Big Bad Events means that oppression has ceased. That's like thinking there's nothing left that needs to be done about racism because the US had a Black president and you've never personally seen a cross burned on somebody's lawn. Once other people's oppression stops being Big Bad Events, it becomes Everyday Stuff You Can Ignore. And that's worse.

NaniTabe pushes back against this in two directions. The first is to show gays who are not miserable, but are instead living happy, fulfilling, and exceedingly regular lives on their own terms. The second is to give reminders that what gay-related misery they do experience largely comes not from their being gay, but from society's giving them shit for being gay. This misery doesn't destroy the happiness, but neither does the happiness make the misery go away.

By the way, this is true of any non-normative identity! The gays do not have a monopoly here. There's always going to be a level of suck when you don't inhabit an area of privilege, and it's very easy to be unaware of someone else's background level of suck when you yourself do have that privileged status! One of the best ways to become aware is to listen to stories about people unlike yourself! Hooray for empathy and learning!

3. tfw your bffs are straight-up freaks

If you're queer, and especially if you're queer and the vast majority of the people around you aren't, you know all too well that sometimes you wind up being friends with people you'd never associate with otherwise, except that you're queer and they're queer, and buddy, if you thought the queer dating pool was shallow, the queer friendship pool can sometimes be even worse.

That's how you get Kohinata and Wataru.

When I said earlier everything about how nonsexual and normie the show is, I was intentionally glossing over whatever the hell is going on with Kohinata and Wataru, the bizarre boyfriends who become Shiro and Kenji's gay besties. You know that couple where you think, I cannot imagine how this relationship works because if you were my partner I would want you stab you every minute of our lives, but it clearly does, so I'm happy for you both? Yeah, that's these two.

The elder of the pair, Kohinata, is a butch, severe man -- except when it comes to his boyfriend, the much younger and worse-behaved Wataru. Then he's reduced to a complete simp, catering to Wataru's every whim. Wataru knows that throwing a tantrum and being bratty is the way to get anything he wants from Kohinata, so he's just a little shit recreationally. He loves saying bitchy things and pointing out people's flaws, while Kohinata chides him ineffectually.

And I love how much this is totally a sex thing for them, except that when you put it in the context of an otherwise extremely PG-rated show, the kink of it flies completely under the hetero radar. Ha ha, look how generally funny these two weirdos are! While Shiro and Kenji are over here doing the thing where somebody calls their partner "master" in front of you, and you're like, I wish you wouldn't.

Their presence is great for the acknowledgment that gay people can be maladjusted freaks in a whole spectrum of ways! They also make the point that a great deal of your ability to openly be a maladjusted freak is related to your job and your level of wealth. Wataru works from home and Kohinata works with celebrities, both of which bring in high incomes and allow for way more deviance from social norms. They're in positions of privilege that allow them to be themselves, but the price of being themselves is that they're always going to stick out in a society that values harmony in sameness.

By contrast, Shiro's good-but-not-great-paying suit-and-tie job means he has to behave. Because of this, he has plenty of angst about being Not Gay Enough, through which the show reinforces time and again that not all gay existence is about barfing rainbows. You're still a valid homosexual even when you're a dull one.

So just remember: When you feel like you're not queer enough, remember that there are always worse queers out there in the world. Oh, they're not worse at being queer. They're just worse in general.

4. Itadakimasu!

This show, like the Sleuth of the Ming Dynasty and Otoko Meshi, is a food-centered show that is very dangerous to watch if you're hungry, so be prepared! Snack first!

It's also got actually followable recipes! Unlike those other food-centric shows I've done recs for, this show actually gives pretty precise measurements, lists all the ingredients, and walks you through basically the whole process. Aside from a few "add the incredibly Japanese thing I bought premade at the store" steps, Shiro's cooking methods are replicable at home.

...It is here that I should probably put up a warning for the occasional bout of very Japanese-typical and gay-man-typical fatphobia, which can be a heck of a combination. I don't think it's a dealbreaker, but you should be aware of it going in. However, I will say that the show almost always comes down on the side of positive moderation: Sometimes you need to eat like you're an aging homosexual watching your cholesterol, and sometimes it's a special occasion so you should enjoy yourself without guilt. It also never once conflates "eating healthy" with eating disappointing meals. If anything, it's mostly just being honest about what happens to your body's relationship to fried food when you hit your forties.

The other nice thing is that Shiro's not some trained chef. He makes good food, but he's a dedicated amateur at best. There's not a single super-fancy technique in anything he does. Much of the time, he's just winging it, combining techniques he knows with what he's already got in the fridge. Sometimes he uses recipes he found on the internet. Occasionally he cooks alongside other, more experienced people and learns techniques from them. Once in a blue moon he just tries a thing to see how it works. (Of course, he does have the unfair advantage of being fictional to cover for how none of his meals ever turn out bad, which, you know, must be nice.)

Sometimes you even get to see other people cook when Shiro's nowhere around! Some of them follow instructions to the letter, while others just sort of wing it with whatever's on hand. And that's okay! For a show so much about cooking, it is very unpretentious about food. The manga drives home even more strongly the point that you don't need fancy meals and a million perfect side dishes to be content. It's great if you're perfectly happy microwaving a pork bun! What matters is that it works for you and your family.

...Now can we please convince subbers everywhere to translate "Itadakimasu!" as "Itadakimasu!"? Please? I think my favorite bad choice is "Bon appetit!", which, okay, good job, you took an opportunity to teach English-speakers a non-English phrase that has no good English translation, and instead you chose to bank on their extant familiarity with a different non-English phrase that has no good English translation. Just keep it what it is. It's just something you say before you eat. It's obvious from context clues. I promise.

5. Makes you, an aging queer, feel real weird about some stuff!

Over the course of the show, Kenji and Shiro go from their early/mid 40s to pushing/over 50. Their parents age, have health scares, and even sometimes die. They deal with losing eyesight and hair alike. They get promoted. They make household budgets and purchases. They worry about saving enough for the future. They work late. They go on vacation sometimes. They wear the same clothes they wore a couple episodes ago.

However, they do all this while also wrestling with their unequal status as gay men in Japan. All their discussions about retirement are colored both by Kenji's tendency to impulse-buy ice cream and by the fact that they can't get married. The choices Shiro makes about his job rest both on his desire for a good work-life balace and a fear that his profession would react badly to his coming out. They have to make all the normal decisions expected of men their age, and then they have to make all the extra decisions to compensate for how "normal" doesn't account for gay.

To pick one issue running throughout the story: Shiro is an only child who is himself childless. This comes up fairly often, in fact, as various circumstances make him aware time and again that he's not making his parents into grandparents, and he won't someday have someone to take care of him like he does for them.

The first time the show brought this up, I thought it would be a one-and-done thing, where the conclusion of the episode got to be that Shiro learns to be happy without being a parent, the end. Nope! It isn't a constant stressor, but it never goes entirely away. Shiro is happy with his life, but he's also reminded that he's failing to live up to social standards. He doesn't want to be a dad. Or does he? No, he actually doesn't. But he also doesn't want not to be a dad, if that makes sense. He doesn't want to disappoint everyone by not having a wife and children, but at the same time, that disappointment isn't enough to force him back into the closet. But it's always going to be seen as a failure on his part.

As a middle-aged queer with no kids, yeah, I feel that hard. I don't want kids! But I also don't want to not have kids. I know I'm always going to be a little bit of a misfit in my family compared to my siblings, who are all parents now. Besides, I think about all the things I do for my parents, and all the things they did for theirs, and yeah, it kind of scares me to know I won't have that when I get older. And we're just basic-ass white people! Japan takes filial responsibility to a whole 'nother level!

So I really, really like that this show doesn't resolve that tension. Shiro has chosen what's right for him. It just also sucks sometimes. The honesty of that narrative is refreshing. Sometimes your best choice still kinda sucks. Sometimes the only way to get closure is to say, you failed me and I failed you, so we're even.

It's a frequent thing for the show to present the realities of people's lives and choices, and to say, maybe this isn't everyone's perfect solution, but it's the right decision given what the circumstances will allow, and you are still allowed to be happy despite the imperfections. It's not that you need to settle for less than perfection because you're gay -- everybody settles! Everybody makes choices and then has to live with the consequences of those choices. You'll never know if things could have been better if you'd done something different, but that doesn't stop what you have right now from being able to be pretty damn good.

I'm not going to say you must be a middle-aged queer to watch this show, because did you read the whole part earlier where I talked about how you should consume stories from experiences that are not your own? Right? Right.

I will, however, say that if you are a middle-aged queer, a lot of it's likely going to hit real close to home, and often in uncomfortable ways. I've seen a couple people say they had to take breathers after some episodes. I know I've been left chewing over a few things in the days and weeks since watching. There are definitely parts where you're laughing because you know exactly what that feels like, and if you don't laugh, you'll do something else.

But you know what? I like that. It can be nice to see people go through situations similar to yours and emerge realistically happy. It's nice to be able to laugh about things, or to know that you will laugh about them someday. The world is fundamentally hostile, but there are people who love us and watermelons are on sale this week, so instead of despair, let's have lunch together.

bonus: porn!!

I want to make it clear that the mangaka isn't some erotophobic dishrag who fetishizes gay men so long as they don't have any of that icky nasty smex. Oh no. The proof that NaniTabe's sexlessness is intentional is how Yoshinaga Fumi made six fairly explicit pornographic side stories that fill in some of the sexy gaps in the larger narrative. You can read all six volumes scanlated right here! ...though if you want to avoid spoilers, I'm going to recommend you wait to dig in until after you watch the show and/or read the actual manga to the appropriate points.

Enjoy the confirmation that Shiro is a freaky size queen (at least in theory, as is the case with maybe most freaky size queens).

Are you hungry for this show yet?

Tragically, this one's a little hard to watch. If you're in Japan (or you have a VPN that can fake it), you can see the first season on Netflix. Otherwise, the preposterously named GagaOOLala is probably your best bet. The watch order goes like this:

Season 1

the New Year's Special

the Movie

Season 2

While the two movies and the second season require a subscription, the first season is available for free. So if you want to give it a try, you've got a whole twelve episodes to see if you like it!

Maybe it'll get a third season someday? We can hope! After all, there's still much more manga left to adapt! All I know is that I'm very sad that I've run out of new installments of it to watch, and I look forward to going back and starting again from the beginning soon.

...Boy, it's funny to see behind-the-scenes shots and think, wow, they're so much snugglier in real life! That's how not-snuggly the show itself is! You think I'm joking but I'm not!

[pod-together]

Pod-Together Day 3 Reveals 2024

hiraeth and hwyl (Howl's Moving Castle - All Media Types, Howl Series - Diana Wynne Jones, Howl no Ugoku Shiro | Howl's Moving Castle, Piranesi - Susanna Clarke, Betrayal at House on the Hill) created and performed by AirgiodSLV, CompassRose, ellejabell, epaulettes, kitkat50311, mahons_ondine, minnabird, and sisi_rambles Summary: You find yourself looking at a door. It looks like an ordinary door, but you’re somehow certain that it isn’t. In theory, you could open the door…but something warns you off. You might not survive, if you pass through that door. You might no longer be you.

I Could Eat A Peach for Hours [text, audio] (Stranger Things (TV 2016)) written by ArtaxLivs, performed by rufusbear Summary: “Robin, it’s fucking obscene.” “You’re obscene,” she squawks. “I am but he’s so much worse,” Eddie insists. “He just, oh my god, all week Robin. All. Fucking. Week.” “I do not need to know about your weird food kinks,” Robin makes a face and then pretends to gag. “It’s not a fucking food kink, it’s a Steve’s mouth kink,” Eddie growls.

Lost and Found (Firefly (TV 2002)) written by Ballad_of_Firefly, performed by InterstellarBlue Summary: Looking up, the apology died in his throat. Familiar brown eyes stared down at him and for a moment, he forgot how to breathe. They looked exactly like River's. Gabriel Tam's eyes narrowed. "Simon."

born to go through trouble (The Odyssey - Homer, EPIC - Jorge Rivera-Herrans (Albums), Ancient Greek Religion & Lore) written by BubblesKat, performed by ShakespeareStoleMyURL Summary: Something is wrong. I don’t understand what happened. I swore I was dreaming when I awoke inside the horse in Troy, but I was immediately discovered and killed. Then, I woke up again in the exact same circumstances. -- or, Odysseus finds himself in a time loop, waking up inside the Trojan horse over and over and over

The shadow of our Light (Shadowhunters (TV)) written by HadrianPeverellBlack, performed by Hagar Summary: Alec's and Jace's relationship. 5 times they thought they weren't enough for the other, and the one time they realized they were enough

Who is the Maestro? (SEVENTEEN (Band)) written by halotolerant, performed by pezzax Summary: Warning. Critical power failure. Metronome is offline. Do you wish to try again? - Wonwoo versus the AI

Meditations II: A Simple Method for Reducing Mental Distractions and Courting the Elusive Muse, by Professor Pankratz (Wiedźmin | The Witcher - All Media Types) written by LenaLawlipop, performed by Chantress and Luninarie Summary: The rustling of wind and chirping of birds can be heard, it’s warm… Not obscenely so, only just enough to make your eyes very, very heavy. Distantly, you can hear the professor writing, chalk on blackboard marking the steady passing of time until your next break. Soon, however, the rhythmic tap of the chalk comes to a halt. Too soon, in fact. It’s not time for that break yet. "Alright, everyone, close your books. Unfortunately, the time has come again. Once more, I find myself wondering, why is everyone so quiet? Am I perchance teaching something useful, against my better judgement?"

Or, a guided meditation for focus, based on mantras.

have you worked out what we’re looking for (Men's Hockey RPF) written by polyabathtub, performed by cosmicanon Summary: Things high school biology teacher Leon Draisaitl does not appreciate: - Being pulled out of one of his sections of freshman biology for three weeks - So that he can co-teach a junior year health class with PE teacher Matthew Tkachuk - Who is always encouraging his students to do things other than their homework, and has an easy job that doesn’t require him to spend his entire life lesson planning and grading - He’s also so unfairly hot that it makes it hard for Leon to remember that he’s in the closet at work

Dispatch [text, audio] (The Goblin Emperor Series - Katherine Addison) written by sophiegaladheon, performed by dontneedaclassroom Summary: Emperor Varenechibel IV has been killed and Csevet has been tasked with delivering the most important letter of his career as a courier.

Don't Hate the Player, Hate the Game: Episode 23 - Palmetto State Foxes (All For The Game - Nora Sakavic) created by Syr and Opalsong Summary: The sports podcast for people who don't like sports! Episode 23 focuses on Exy and the Palmetto State Foxes and the massive amounts of drama that happened this season. We didn't have to dig deep for this one folks; there was so much drama we didn't even get to it all.

So We Can Begin [text, audio] (Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types, Star Wars Prequel Trilogy) written by wanderingjedihistorian, performed by kbirb, flowerparrish, and wanderingjedihistorian Summary: Bail and Breha are soulmates, but they each have two soulmarks meaning they have a third soulmate. When Bail meets Fox, he knows he's found their third. The war makes Fox and Breha getting to know each other difficult, but messages and holo recordings are easy enough to send.

[autisticlancemcclain]

Lance snaps the last piece on — a dorky fingerless leather glove — and smiles, satisfied. He observes the rest of his handiwork and can’t help a single nod.

Damn, he’s a whiz with a sewing machine.

“Don’t get too big of a head,” Pidge mutters, adjusting her new go-go boots. “This is still the dumbest thing any one of us has done ever.”

Hunk snorts. “Speak for yourself.”

That is fair. Lance has caught Hunk negotiating both of his kidneys for a particularly rare machine part.

“It’s still stupid,” Pidge insists.

To her credit, she’s probably right. It had started as a bit. A dumbass, one-off bit that Lance cooked up one random day, after a shitty mission that had them all in the dumps.

“I miss Keith,” Allura had muttered, huffing to herself. “He would have trained with me more so I wouldn’t have been so blindsided. You guys never do any extra training with me.”

The team’s responses had been a mix of mild offense and several other affirmations of missing their friend. All of them did — yeah, sure, each and every one of them finds great joy in giving Keith shit, and some of his leadership skills were…questionable, at best, but he was still their friend. And they missed him.

Lance got an idea.

After everyone else went to bed, he dug through random material boxes littered throughout the castle, and fashioned himself Keith’s infamous cropped leather jacket. It wasn’t quite the same — the only way he’d get leather in space would be from Kaltenecker, which was never going to happen on Lance’s watch — but there was no mistaking who he was imitating. He walked into breakfast the next morning with his fringe pulled over one eye and a smirk making the corner of his mouth twitch.

“Life is a nightmare and existence is a prison,” he’d said in his most emo voice.

Was it a fair impression of Keith?

No.

But was it funny?

Lance’s question was easily answered by the rest of the team losing their shit. He’d kept it up the rest of the day, playfully pretending to be Keith whenever someone asked him a question. As stupid as the whole bit was, it did make him feel a little better. A little more like Keith was just away for a little while, and that he was coming back, rather than a nameless face on a Blade base. It made things a little less scary, a little more lighthearted. It was a stupid joke, but a good one. Lance took off the dorky jacket at the end of the day, hanging it in his closet, not even thinking about it.

A week later, Pidge walked into the kitchen with the jacket she’d lifted from his room, doing her own garbage impression, and from there things had kind of snowballed.

None of them made anything official, obviously. That would be embarrassing as shit. But every Tuesday — or whatever the space equivalent was — someone would inevitably show up in the kitchen with an article of clothing that was unmistakably Keith’s. Eventually Lance started actually making replicas that would fit everyone; a jacket for Hunk, go-go boots for Shiro, fingerless gloves for Allura. Small, stupid things that Lance would make when he had the time and leave by their door without saying anything, without acknowledging the objectively deranged bit they were all overdoing.

It’s been long enough, though, that everyone’s outfit is complete. They’ve been celebrating Keith Day and cycling through enough weekly impressions that everyone has a full Keith outfit, so they’re having a Keith party.

Lance has not had so much fun in ages.

“Yo, Keith, pass the Gufla juice,” Lance says. Coran looks delighted for a moment before schooling his face into a grumpier expression.

“You’re the only one who drinks this garbage,” he says, doing a truly wonderful impression of Keith’s exasperated tone. “Just keep it where you sit.” He passes the bottle to Lance, then leans in close so Lance can hear his whisper. “Am I doing an alright job, lad? I’ve made an attempt to let the fondness he has for you bleed through my words!”

Lance flushes, taking the bottle from the advisor and hurriedly occupying himself with pouring a glass. He clears his throat three separate times before he finally manages to speak, conscious of the various snickers he can hear from around him.

“You did fine.”

Pidge scoffs, leaning back in her chair and raising a cocky eyebrow. “I dunno, usually it’s more like this.” She widens her eyes obnoxiously, batting her eyelashes and clasping her hands under her chin. “‘Nice shot, Sharpshooter. Couldn’t do it without my right-hand-man.’”

Allura and Hunk cackle, offering their palms for Pidge to slap, which she does unashamedly.

Lance, who is the pinnacle of grace and poise and Being the Bigger Person, primly dabs his mouth with a napkin and decides not to attack his horrible gremlin friend where she sits.

“That was the worst Keith impression I’ve ever heard,” he informs her.

Shiro hums before she can respond. “You’re right, Keith.” He nods at Lance. Lance sticks his tongue out at Pidge.

Ha!

“He hasn’t used ‘Sharpshooter’ in a while,” he continues, and Lance’s heart drops.

Shiro? A traitor? No. No!

Shiro adjusts the oversized white collar of the cropped jacket and grins to himself. “It’s a little more like this.” He stands, because he’s a dramatic hoe, and puts his hands on his hips, shaking his head mock-fondly at Lance before saying, in a hugely exaggerated Southern accent, “Well I’ll be, Bluebell. Maybe we make a good team after all.”

Okay. Evidently, Being the Bigger Person is overrated. He grabs a butterknife and throws it at the asshole black paladin, which is narrowly dodged with a yelp.

“There,” Lance says smugly. “Knife violence. How’s that for a Keith impression?”

Besides Shiro’s pout that lasts for a good five minutes, the rest of breakfast is just spent having good fun. They each break character a thousand times each, but it’s fun anyway. Allura in particular is the king of Keith impressions — possibly from the mess that was the Coalition Show — and the rest of them aren’t too shabby, either. Lance thinks he’s pretty good at nailing Keith’s laugh when he’s startled to find something funny (and no, he’s not going to spend any time reflecting on why that is, thanks).

“You know, fellow Keiths,” Shiro says, picking at his gloves, “I’ve teased him about the gloves for years, but they kind of do make me feel cool.”

Lance sighs. “Yeah, that’s the worst part. The gloves really do make me feel like a ninja sword guy.”

Instead of the various affirmations he expects to hear — come on, he and Shiro cannot be the only ones to feel that way — there’s only silence. He glances up at the rest of the team, only to find them all slack-jawed and horrified, staring wide-eyed at the door.

Lance’s stomach turns to stone.

There’s no way.

Slowly, as if he can make his suspicions disappear if he halves his speed, he turns toward the dining room door.

Where, of course, stands Keith, somehow, the real one, Blade uniform clinging to his body as he leans on the doorframe. He sports the tiniest of smirks, and yet somehow it’s more smug than any expression Lance has witnessed before.

“Hey, guys,” Keith says, casual. “Mission got cancelled so I had a couple days off, and I was nearby. Thought I’d hang with y’all for a while; Black let me in.”

He speaks so casually, walking into the room with a slight sway to his hips, a swagger, that leaves no question about it: he sees the situation in front of him. He gets it. He knows damn well he has the upper hand here.

He’s playing them.

The whole team sits frozen in their seats, hyper aware of their outfits, each knowing they have no excuse and no way out. They will never be able to successfully clown him again. He’s won. He knows how much they like him. Worst, still, is that Keith knows exactly who on this ship can make fingerless leather gloves from scratch. He knows exactly who’s dumbass idea this bit was, who put hours and hours into making accurate Keith outfits.

Lance is going to reacquaint himself with that airlock.

“Oh, nice, you guys are having that Dushan stuff.” Keith strides over to Lance’s seat, places a hand on the back off his chair and leaning in close. Lance puts his head in his hands and prays his ears aren’t as red as they feel. Keith reaches right over his shoulder and plucks a piece of food off his plate, popping it into his mouth. For a moment there’s nothing but a horrible silence, none of them knowing what to say.

“And by the way,” Keith says, when it’s clear none of them are going to speak up. His smirk has widened significantly, and he looks like he’s just won every argument he’s ever wanted to have at once. “The gloves make me feel cool, too.”

———

based on this scene in teen titans

[alluraaaa]

transgender voltron thoughts. separated by character. voltrans thoughts

this got long so the rest is under the cut

shiro

trans man. he/him. realized it as a tween. like 11

already had the “shiro” nickname from his surname but chose takashi because it’s the name his mom planned to use. his momma was his best friend growing up so takashi is a special secret name only certain people can casually use for him <3

has a model minority complex and thinks he has to be a perfect person and a perfect role model and perfect everything else. he doesn’t think everyone needs to be like this but he does you don’t get it he needs to be perfect in order to gain basic respect

(he has anxiety) (went thru a frat boy phase tho where he let loose a little)

he’s a bear. when he started t and gained weight and started growing thicker body hair he was like “FUCK YEAH”

wanted top and bottom surgery. irl modern phalloplasty can take skin grafts from the arm and for sillies shiro did that. but on the arm he lost. can’t even show off his cool graft scar 🙄 stupid galra

him and adam are t4t. he picked the name adam because his deadname is eve and he’s the funniest ever

keith

trans man. he/him. realized at like 6

randomly walked up to his dad and said “pops i wanna be a boy” and his dad went “okay son :^)” and helped him with picking a new name and pronouns. that’s why he ended up with keith of all names

his dad planned on helping him with puberty blockers and hrt because keith said he wanted it but. he died before keith got to that age :^(

so unfortunately keith had to go thru one puberty and then another. and THEN he gets a weird galra puberty in his 20s. puberties gerog

shiro was the one to help him get access to testosterone and top surgery <3 yay trans brotherhood ^_^

keith doesn’t care about his junk enough to get bottom surgery tho. he really only got top surgery to get cool ass scars on his chest. he doesn’t give a shit about gender essentialism and isn’t afraid to stab a transphobe ❤️

pidge

trans girl. she/her. also realized when she was real young

same as keith she was just one day like “i wanna be a girl” and her parents were the same and immediately accepted her and helped her with transitioning (she had a bit more social transitioning tho because she wasn’t in the middle of bum fuck nowhere)

unlike keith tho she got to do puberty blockers and start e as a tween and stuff. good for her!

she picked the name katie but it’s not short for anything. she gets the question all the time and she always rolls her eyes

detransitioning for the garrison sucked like ass and she hated it but she did it for her family. coming out to the team was a huge weight off her shoulders

she has a love/hate relationship with femininity but i already went through all that in another post so i’m linking it here. smiles 😁

lance

bigender man/woman. she/he. realizes it while with team voltron

THEE most obvious egg ever. also very obvious bisexual but hasn’t realized that either. it’s painful to watch sometimes (send help to hunk because you know he immediately clocked lance)

he likes women so much because he’s straight!!!! and a lady’s man!!!!!!!!! he doesn’t wanna be a girl and even if he did that’s a universal unspoken secret that all boys have but agree to never talk about!!!!!!!!!!!!

once pidge comes out the rest of the team have more casual talks about being trans and lance is so tbh creature at them. hunk definitely gossips about how clear the closet is behind lance’s back #messy

lance never realizes on her own what happens is keith tells her despite hunk saying that that’s rude. he blatantly tells lance that she obviously wants to be a girl and that she can do that if she wants to. and when she says she likes being a guy keith says she can be both if she wants. she can do whatever she wants forever

after that she thinks about it for like a day and then is like “yayyyyy i’m a boy and a girl and i like boys and girls ^_^”

she has soooo much fun with femininity she plays dress up and is so pretty ❤️ she is indeed a lady’s man but also very clearly wanted to be beautiful like ladies are. and she is ladies!! yayyyyy

didn’t change her name because she loves being leandro alvarez-núñez-cuesta-espinosa so so much ❤️❤️

hunk

agender. any pronouns. realized as a teen

just fully doesn’t care about gender. obviously will respect people’s genders but like. gender as a concept is irrelevant to him and he opted out of gender. he’s too autistic for it tbh

use whatever pronouns you want. make up funny pronouns. fuck it we ball

“this is hunk bong’s my best friend i love bong so much” “lance oh my god”

hunk is a childhood nickname and only family (and lance) know his birthname. didn’t care enough to change it when coming out. he likes his name!! why change it!!

he’s a genius mechanic with access to super advanced alien technology so for funsies he invents a machine that can do instant top and/or bottom surgery with no problem. he can mess around with it for funsies or fashion or whatever. and ofc the team has free access to it as well <3 the only one to use it often tho is lance #besties

allura

trans girl. she/her. realized not long before the events of the show

the post about trans allura that inspired this whole post here

was able to use her shapeshifting powers to her transvantage (trans advantage)

her being out for not long before the war is why she was so excited that pidge is a girl. she’s a girl making friends with other girls!!!!!! and that excitement doubles when learning that pidge is earth’s equivalent of trans yayyyyy

in my mind the notion of people fitting into gender roles on altea is the same vibe as the notion of women wearing skirts not pants irl. like that’s an outdated idea but not that outdated unfortunately :^/

i don’t think there was major misogyny or transphobia on altea tho. not sure if it makes sense to anyone else but it makes sense in my mind ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

coran

nonbinary. any pronouns

when allura came out she sat down with her parents and coran (honorary third parent) and talked about her feelings and thoughts on gender as a whole. coran went “oh. is that not how cis people think?”

he’s not a man or a woman but he’s not sure what he is exactly. he’s coran!

he’d make homemade hrt. may or may not have weird side effects

[wen-kexing-apologist]

Best QL of 2023: Favorite Lines

Okay so I am slightly over my one year mark in the BL Fandom, and have watched over the past like...12-14 months a little under 100 shows, so I am forcing myself to stick to the shows that aired in 2023 or else I would never be able to finish this. But I saw @abstractelysium do this so I had to climb aboard:

Top Five Lines that Lived Rent-Free In My Brain This Year:

"Have you been well? Without me?" - Shin Ki Tae, Our Dating Sim, Ep 4

Y'ALL THIS FUCKING LINE. KNIFE. CHEST. EVERY TIME! This line sits on the same level of absolute and total emotional devastation for me as the "I just want things to be nice for him" link in Big Eden.

"Are you tired, Uncle Jim?" - Li Ming, Moonlight Chicken, Ep 8

Jim and Li Ming's relationship just makes me absolutely so fucking emotional. I love them individually, I love them together, and I love how much Jim does for his community. But no one ever asks him this. And it is so striking to me that Li Ming is finally the one to demonstrate how much he understands and appreciates everything Jim does not only for him but for the entire community when he ass him that question.

"My family is old fashioned. I kept everything in my heart and didn't want to tell anyone until I was 15. My family went to Europe with Wa's family. We saw two women kissing on the street. I saw her and wanted to talk to her. I want to know how she did it. I want to release it like them. But Wa's mother and I...You can probably imagine. A pair of old-fashioned women who think same-sex love is wrong...That's when I realized I wasn't the only one feeling terrible. When we got back that night she broke down and cried. No one knew why. I asked her if it was about the afternoon incident. She asked me if a kiss between two women was wrong. I said no. It's just like two men kissing. It's not wrong. On that night a 15 year old boy and a 13 year old girl held each other and cried." -Sailom, Wedding Plan, Ep. 6

Okay this isn't a line, it's a monologue but holy fucking shit this was such a beautiful speech, and I will quote @bengiyo here and say "I CAN'T BELIEVE PEOPLE HATED THIS MAN." He has spent so much of his life in the closet protecting not only himself but especially Yiwa. Sailom was going to go through with the wedding just to ensure that Yiwa and Marine could be together without anyone prying.

"This is as tender as I can be. Someone like me." -Mhok, Last Twilight, Ep. 4

Honestly you could replace the first sentence with whatever you want, the part that sticks in my brain the most is "someone like me" because I know that Mhok must have heard shit like that his entire life, and Day is here saying it in a way that I don't think Mhok takes as an actual insult or passing of judgement. I like that the line is used whenever Mhok does show who he truly is and how much tenderness or warmth he is actually capable of in a subversion of the expectations placed upon him.

"But you know, I already knew your preferences so well. When I go shopping with Kakei-san, he talks about you all the time...He says it with a smile" -Kayoko, What Did You Eat Yesterday?, Season 2 Episode 11

THE WEEP I WEPT WHEN KAYOKO TOLD KENJI HOW MUCH SHIRO TALKS ABOUT HIM. This entire second season of WDYEY Shiro has just continuously shown so much beautiful beautiful growth and my heart twists with pride every single time I see him looking more relaxed and smiley. WDYEY is the most perfect show to ever exist.

[4littlefishies]

The 36th Floor

Office worker Satoru Gojo finds himself stuck with the task of training his brand new coworker, but he doesn't know what to expect when he sees who he's supposed to be training. He can't fall in love with the man that sits in the cubicle across from him, right?

satoru gojo x suguru geto office au

warnings: nothing for this chapter, smut in later chapters!

wc: 6.6k

note: Hi all! Thought I'd start posting this on here as well. I always upload first on ao3, so if you wan't to keep updated, I'll put a link at the bottom! :) This is a non-curse non-jujutsu au because I enjoy writing fluff and happiness and crack and all the good stuff. <3

Monday Morning

Satoru Gojo opens his eyes as the sound of his alarm blares through his previously silent bedroom. His hands come up to rub the sleep out of his eyes as he sits up in his bed before grabbing at his phone to make the annoying sound of his alarm stop. He takes a couple deep breaths and sits with his eyes closed for a moment before he finally pushes the comforter to the side and shifts his legs off of the side of the bed. 

Standing up from the warmth of his bed, Satoru shivers as the cold air hits his skin. He makes his way to the bathroom to start the routine that he does every morning before work: Shower, brush his teeth, skincare, hair; in that order, five days a week, 12 months a year. He loved how the structure of his morning before work and getting to listen to music as he calmly got ready made his whole day feel better.

Afterwards, he would make his bed and head out to the kitchen to eat a quick breakfast, which typically consisted of a sugary cereal or some kind of fruit for on the go if he was in a hurry to leave - which unfortunately happened more often than not. Thankfully, today was one of the days where he had time to sit down at the counter and eat a proper breakfast.

Humming along with the music playing through his phone, he makes his way back into his room and steps into his closet. He pulls out a navy blue suit jacket and pants, along with a white button-up shirt for underneath and a tie to pull it all together. Satoru gets dressed and with his jacket folded over the side of his now neatly-made bed, he picks out a pair of brown oxfords and finally puts on his watch. 

The mirror by his bedroom door is the final step in his routine as he checks his reflection one last time before heading towards the front door. The blue of his eyes almost glow back at him as he looks over himself in the mirror, making sure his bright white hair looks decent before flicking off the lights and pulling on his jacket. He picks up his bag from the table next to the front door and grabs his keys out of the bowl, shoving them into his pocket. 

“See you when I get home, Shiro.” He whispers to the white cat, looking up at him with wide eyes from the couch. The cat makes a quiet noise that makes Satoru smile as he closes the front door behind him and checks that it’s locked before turning and walking down the hallway towards the elevator. 

Today was just another day for Satoru, a typical Monday morning. He would walk to the station not too far from his house and wait for the train along with everyone else also going to their 9-5 jobs in the city. He found joy in the time he got to listen to music on his commute and enjoyed seeing the same people he would see every morning. The man seated across the aisle from him would get off the stop before Satoru, every single morning. The woman a couple rows in front of him would get off the stop after he got on. 

Satoru liked to ponder and imagine what these strangers on the train were doing with their days. The scenarios in his head were probably much more exciting that what was actually going on in these people’s lives, but he would rather imagine that the stranger in the same black trench coat every day is actually a member of the Yakuza and not just an accountant or a lawyer or something normal. 

Before he knows it, the train is coming up to his stop. He stands up, stabilizing himself with one of the many hand holds as the train finally slows to a stop. The doors open and he steps off, walking in time with his music, his hands in his pockets as he walks out into the crisp morning air. The walk to his office is a short one, but he stops at the coffee shop in the lobby of the building as he does every morning.

“Good morning, Miwa!” He says in a singsong voice as he steps up to the counter. The young woman smiles and grabs a disgustingly sweet drink set to the side of the register that was just made for him. He picks it up and hands her twice as much cash as it actually costs before turning and swiftly walking towards the elevator. “You’re the best, Miwa!” He calls out over his shoulder as he rushes towards the closing elevator doors.

“Have a good day Gojo!” She calls out after him in response. He waves with a smile as he steps into the elevator. Just another part of his routine that makes his day even better. He takes a small sip of his still-too-hot coffee in the half full elevator and presses the button for floor 36. He readjusts his bag on his shoulder and pulls out his key card as the elevator makes stops at a few floors before he reaches his own. 

“Have a good day guys.” Satoru says as the elevator opens to his floor, resulting in a few quiet thank you’s and you too’s. Someone else steps off of the elevator at the same time as him and Satoru turns to notice that it’s his coworker, Shoko Ieiri. A surprised look crosses his face as he looks at her. “What the hell? I didn’t even notice you in there!” He says with a cheeky smile on his face as they walk down the hallway towards the glass door of their office. He holds his key card up to the side of the door before the lock clicks and he pulls the large glass door open, allowing Shoko inside first.

“Just say you don’t care about me, idiot.” She says, rolling her eyes with a smile, walking inside as Satoru holds the door open for her. The two of them head straight for the break room, Shoko puts her lunch box in the fridge, and Satoru grabs a strawberry-mango yogurt, along with a spoon. 

“Maybe you need to be more noticeable.” Satoru teases back at her. Shoko closes the fridge and glares up at him. The two of them have been friends since high school, which resulted in their sibling-like relationship that consisted of endless teasing and fake bullying.

“I got you hired here, I bet I could get you fired too, you know that right?” She says as they both turn to walk out of the break room to head to their cubicles, which luckily - or unluckily - were right next to each other. Satoru leans on the edge of Shoko’s cubicle as she sets her things down and tries to get adjusted.

“No way, Shoko. Nanami loves me.” He says, talking about their boss. She raises an eyebrow at him as he backs up into his cubicle across the aisle and sets his bag down on his desk. He puts his hands up, as if to say “I can’t help it” and sits down in his chair with a smile and turns to turn on his computer. 

The office is quiet with the chatter of everyone arriving for the morning along with the sounds of keyboards typing and mice clicking. Gojo starts with the normal morning things like checking his emails and then his planner to see what he has planned out for the day. “Shit.” He whispers, but still loud enough for Shoko to hear. 

“What’s your problem?” Shoko asks, not even turning her head away from her monitor to look at him. 

“They’re having me train someone new.” He says, sounding slightly annoyed. “I have so much to do already and they want me to train someone new?” He rubs his forehead and closes his eyes, thinking about how much more this is going to set him back. 

“If you need help with anything, just let me know.” She responds, trying to be helpful, all the while knowing that she would have no idea how to even do most of the things that Satoru does on a daily basis. 

“I just need to get as much done in this hour that I have before he gets here.” Satoru says, mostly to himself, but loud enough that Shoko hears.

“I have a meeting at 10, but I’ll be back after lunch if you need anything.” She adds, trying to be helpful and make him feel better about the day ahead.

“Thank you, Shoko, I appreciate it.” He says, starting to work on a presentation for when some of the higher ups from corporate were coming later in the month. He pops one headphone in, trying to get focused into his work to get as much done as possible in the shortest amount of time. 

Slowly but surely, Satoru’s coffee disappears and the strawberry-mango yogurt cup he had grabbed from the fridge is empty and long gone. His fingers type away quickly at his quiet keyboard as he fills the slides with information that he needs to get across to the corporate visitors. Sales had been great this year, and it was his responsibility to explain to the higher ups what their branch is doing right and things that they think could help other branches to do better.

An hour passes much more quickly than Satoru would have liked, but Shoko is gone to her meeting in one of the conference rooms and suddenly Satoru’s phone rings. He rarely used it to talk to anyone outside of the office, so he was not surprised to see the name Utahime Iori on the screen. He smiles and grabs it before answering sweetly.

“Why good morning Utahime.” He says nicely.

“Gojo, I just finished up paperwork with the new hire, so I’m just giving you a heads up that he’s on his way, okay?” She responds, trying to avoid conversation as much as possible.

“Not even a good morning back?” Satoru responds, sounding hurt, all the while he has a smile on his face. 

“Good morning.” She says, shortly. “He’s on his way, his name’s Suguru Geto. Bye.” She hangs up and the line goes blank.

“Hello? Utahime??” Satoru questions at the obviously ended phone call. He chuckles and hangs the phone back up. He hears a quiet set of footsteps walking on the other side of the wall to his back. He turns around and stands up just in time to see the long black haired man come around the corner. He’s wearing a black suit with a red patterned tie and wears his hair half up and half down. Satoru makes eye contact with him and he feels immediately nervous, as well as something he swears he’s never felt before. 

“Um. hello, are you-” He starts, but Satoru stands there almost unable to move. Immediately, he feels like he knows this man from somewhere. He seemed so familiar to Satoru - his voice, his face, his eyes, even though he knew that he didn’t know this man. “-Gojo?” He finally finishes, quietly, unsure if he remembered his name correctly. The way he says his name sounds like velvet. He wants to hear him say his name over and over again. 

“Yeah! Yeah, Satoru Gojo. But you can call me Satoru, if you want.” He says, breaking out of his thoughts, He sticks out his hand to shake it. Their hands meet in the middle and they both grip the other’s hand firmly. Both of their hands are warm, but Satoru feels like his hands are on fire. He smiles at the man in front of him, and he nods back, seemingly trying to put his name to memory. “What was your name again? Utahime told me but-” He trails off, waiting for the man to tell him his name. 

“Suguru Geto.” He says, a soft smile painted on his face.

“Nice to meet you, Suguru.” Satoru says, bravely using his first name. His palms start to feel sweaty as he steps back into his cubicle. He is silently kicking himself as Suguru stands there quietly. “So, you can grab Shoko’s chair from over there, if you want and bring it on over here and we’ll get started. Oh, and you can set your stuff in the cubicle in front of hers, that one is going to be yours.” He says, pointing at the cubicle diagonal from his. 

Suguru quickly sets his stuff down and decides to grab his chair instead of Shoko’s and wheels over to Satoru’s desk. “Good call, she might have killed me if she knew I told you to take her chair.” He smiles to himself towards his monitor as Suguru sits behind him, his jacket left behind in his cubicle, showing off his broad chest and shoulders in his grey button up.

“Yeah, definitely. That’s where Shoko sits?” Suguru asks, curiously.

“Yeah, um, do you know her?” Satoru asks, slightly confused as to why it sounds like Suguru knows who he’s talking about. He takes a silent deep breath, feeling his heart rate increase at seeing him without the jacket. Jesus Satoru, calm down he thinks to himself, waiting for Suguru to answer his question. 

“Um yeah, she’s actually the one that got me this job.” He responds softly.

“No way! I went to school with her, she got me this job too.” Satoru responds, sounding way too excited.

Suguru chuckles softly at Satoru’s excitement and of course Satoru notices. He doesn’t know why, but he wants to make him do it again. The sound was like music to his ears. He takes a quick deep breath and quickly changes the subject. “So! Should we get started?” He doesn’t know what’s come over him. Normally he’s an incredibly extroverted person and would have no problem talking to new people, but he doesn’t want to say something wrong this time, and he doesn’t know why but he’s nervous.

He tries to calm down and opens up the website on his computer that the company uses for training new employees. This is something he’s done enough that he doesn’t really have to think about it, which is good because he can’t stop thinking about where he could maybe, possibly know this man from. It’s driving him insane, the immediate connection he somehow feels to this person that he’s never met before. He feels the tops of his ears get hot. 

“Alright so, you get in here and I’ll sit behind you so you can see the monitor and work on the computer when you need to, and I can sit back here and mostly watch and answer questions if you need me to.” Satoru says, standing up and moving his chair to switch places with Suguru so that he can see the monitor better. Their arms brush up against each other in the tight cubicle space as they switch spots and Satoru feels like he’s going to lose his mind at the feeling.

He starts going through boring training videos and and every day procedures with him, trying to focus on training him for work, rather than just talking to him like normal. All he wants to do is learn about who this beautiful man is. Why would Shoko never tell me about him? Satoru thinks to himself as Suguru watches another video. Satoru sits behind him, organizing his drawer of pens to occupy himself until the video that he’s seen countless times comes to an end.

“So, is it all kinda making sense?” Satoru asks, closing the drawer and looking over at Suguru as he clicks to the next page. 

“Yeah, yeah, definitely. I think I’ll just need to do it a couple times and I’ll be good.” He shoots back, confidently. 

“Oh yeah, absolutely. You’re a natural.” Satoru says, earning a smile from Suguru, causing him to smile as well. “Okay, you can start the next video, but I’m gonna be right back, okay?” He stands up, putting both of his thumbs up as he creeps out of the cubicle. 

“I’ll be here.” Suguru says, putting one hand up as Gojo walks around the corner of his cubicle and out into the hallway that leads towards the bathroom. 

He quickly walks into the dark bathroom and the motion activated lights click on. He looks at himself in the mirror and takes a deep breath. “What the hell is your problem?” He whispers to himself in the mirror. He’s never felt this way about anyone except for this complete stranger. He wants to get to know him. He wants to get closer with him. He turns on the water and runs his hand under the cold water before holding it to his forehead and cheeks, trying to calm down. He takes another deep breath and runs his hand through his hair, fixing it, even though it didn’t need fixing. 

“Calm down stupid, you’ve known the man for an hour and a half. Keep it together.” He says quietly in the mirror to himself once again before leaving the bathroom and heading back to his cubicle to continue training Suguru. He rounds the corner and Suguru perks up once he sees that Satoru is back.

“Oh good, you’re back! I got stuck on this page and I didn’t want to mess anything up, so I waited for you to get back.” Sugaru says, pointing at the screen. Satoru walks up behind him and grabs hold onto the mouse, clicking around to see what's going on, bent down next to Suguru. He hadn't been this close to him yet, even when they shook hands, he couldn’t smell his cologne. He can now smell the warm scent of cashmere but also pine coming off of him as he leans down next to him. 

“Ugh I hate this thing. It signed us out, just a second.” Satoru says, before reaching in front of Suguru and pulling the keyboard to the side so that he could sign back in and they could keep working. Satoru sees Suguru sit back as he watches him get back to the place where they left off. Once he’s back, he slides the keyboard back in front of Suguru and pushes the mouse back to him. “There we go.” He says, slowly sitting back into his chair. 

“Thanks.” Suguru says softly before getting back to the training. 

The next hour and a half goes by without incident and thankfully without too much awkwardness between the two of them. Satoru is thankful for lunch so that he can get a break. He thinks about inviting Suguru to join him for lunch, but decides against it. He needs an hour to himself to think about why he’s feeling the way that he is, and what he thinks he’s going to do about it, if anything. 

“So, we get an hour for lunch, you can stay here, go somewhere, whatever.” Satoru says, explaining to Suguru as they close out the training. 

“Okay, thanks!” Suguru says, standing up and rolling his chair back to his cubicle. Satoru looks over as he puts his jacket on and walks out into the hallway. Gojo takes a deep breath and leans back in his chair, stretching his arms before standing up. He grabs his jacket and pulls it on before grabbing his phone and wallet and heading towards the front door. He pops his headphones in as he steps into the empty elevator and heads down to the lobby. 

He clicks play on the last song that was playing as the doors open to the busy lobby. Satoru heads straight for the main doors and out onto the street, where he puts on his sunglasses as he steps outside. He takes a right and heads towards his favorite cafe to go for lunch during his work week. The walk is only a couple of blocks, but the air is cold and it turns Satoru’s cheeks and nose a rosy pink with the chill of the wind. I should have invited him. Satoru thinks, shoving his hands into his pockets and picking up the pace in his walk to the cafe. He probably thinks I don’t like him. Why was I acting like such a weirdo? The thoughts cloud his mind the entire duration of his walk. 

He reaches out to pull the handle and the normal sound of the bell on the door makes its presence known as Satoru steps into the small cafe, gaining the attention of the young pink haired teenager behind the counter. “Hey Gojo!” He calls out as Satoru approaches the counter. “You want your usual?” He asks, already typing his normal order into the cash register. 

“Yes please!” He replies, “and can I also get one of these? Actually- two of those. If I don’t get one for Shoko, she’ll kill me.” He replies, pointing to the delicious looking cupcakes in the display case. 

“Alrighty then!.” The pink haired boy says, sliding open the case.

“Just you today, Yuji?” Gojo asks, pulling out his wallet while the total pops up on the screen in front of him on the counter.

“Yeah,” Yuji says with a sigh. “Megumi is off today, so just me!” He says, taking the cash that Satoru hands him. “No receipt, right?” Satoru shakes his head no, and Yuji crumples up the receipt and tosses it into the trash behind the counter. “Have a good rest of your day, Gojo!”

“You as well, Yuji.” He says in response as he grabs his food and heads to a table in the corner where he can sit down and relax for a bit before heading back to the office. He settles on his usual spot - the small table with two chairs in the back corner, and sits in the chair facing the front door so that he could once again people watch. He takes a bite of his sandwich before setting it back down and looking at his phone at a text from Utahime.

‘Geto is training for the rest of the day with Haibara once you’re back from lunch.’

Satoru reads this and feels relieved because now he can get his work done, but also disappointed that he wouldn’t get to be around Suguru for the rest of the day. He reacts to the message with a thumbs up and decides not to bother her anymore for once. He sets his phone down and looks up at the group of people that just came in from the street and he sees him. 

Shit shit shit shit. Satoru thinks to himself. Should I go say something? No! He has a quick mental battle with himself. He doesn’t want to bother him outside of work, but he wants so desperately to get to know who Suguru Geto is. He watches from behind his sunglasses as Suguru approaches the counter and interacts with Yuji. Satoru notices his smile is soft as he orders and pays. He looks around and that’s when Satoru picks up his phone and starts looking at it again, trying to avoid possibly making eye contact with him. 

Just from what Gojo can see in his periphery, Suguru seems to look around for a moment before he steps towards the front door and leaves the cafe, seemingly taking his food back to the office. Satoru breathes again as he realizes that he was holding his breath waiting to see what would happen. He wasn’t even sure what it was that he wanted to happen. If he would have noticed me, he would have said something, right? He thought to himself, sure that Suguru didn’t spot him over in the corner. 

Satoru realizes that his hands are sweaty and wipes them on his pants, hurriedly. It’s fine He thinks again. He tries to finish his sandwich, but ends up getting sick of it after a few bites and wraps it up to take back to the office along with his cupcakes for him and Shoko. He gives Yuji a wave as he steps out onto the street to start his walk back to the office, an upbeat song once again playing in his ears. 

He walks through the large front doors and heads towards the elevator, taking off his sunglasses and tucking them into his jacket pocket. He steps into the elevator and immediately notices Shoko this time and calls out her name. 

“Oh, so you noticed me this time huh?” She teases as the doors close and they are the only two inside. He wants to ask her about Suguru, but he decides that it’s better that he doesn't - at least for now. 

“How was your meeting?” He responds, choosing to ignore her statement. He takes her deep sigh as her answer. “That bad, huh?” He asks, the elevator starting to quickly climb.

“It was just a bunch of old creepy men and I just kept getting talked over the whole time.” She says, rolling her eyes and crossing her arms, obviously annoyed. Satoru shakes his head, knowing that she’s not exaggerating. He’s been in those meetings and they just don’t care to hear what she has to say. It’s extremely frustrating and he tries his best to help when he’s there. 

“Well… It’s not that much, but I got you a little treat.” He says, handing the cupcake box to her as the elevator reaches the 36th floor and comes to a stop. Her eyes widen and her mouth falls open in a smile as she reaches out and grabs the small box.

The elevator doors open and they step out, walking down the hallway together. Satoru uses his key card and opens the door once again, following Shoko inside. Satoru heads straight back to his cubicle to see if Suguru is at his desk. To his disappointment, he isn’t. Satoru sits down at his desk and unlocks his computer to get working on his presentation for later in the month. He checks his email and sees that thankfully, the marketing department sent him all of their reports that he needed for his presentation. He hears Shoko sit back down into her chair as he’s working diligently. 

“Where’s your trainee?” He hears Shoko say over the sound of the music in his ear. He takes out his headphone and turns his head.

“He’s with Yu for the rest of the day. Guess they want him to learn different positions.” He says, and it comes out more disappointed sounding than he meant it to. “I’m just happy they’re giving me time to focus on my own work. I’m more behind now, but I think I can catch up by the end of the day if I just focus.” He says, turning his head back to the monitor in front of him. 

He doesn’t see Shoko raise her eyebrows at his change in attitude all of a sudden. She grabs a pen and a sticky note and writes “Do Not Disturb! Satoru Gojo hard at work! >:(” and rolls across the aisle, sticking it to the outside of his cubicle with a smile on her face that goes completely unnoticed by Satoru. 

The final hours of the day slip by faster than Satoru would have liked, but he feels good with where he’s left off on his work. He leans back in his chair and stretches his arms out before glancing over at Suguru’s cubicle once more, only to see it still empty. Hmph. He lets out quietly, hoping that he would be able to say goodbye at least before heading home for the day. He looks over to see Shoko is long gone, her computer already off and monitor black. He smiles to himself as he stands up, grabbing his jacket off of the back of his chair and throwing it on before grabbing his bag from underneath his desk and slinging it over his shoulder. He grabs his empty coffee cup from the morning and finally tosses it into the garbage on his way out the door. 

Satoru takes one last look around to see if he notices Suguru anywhere, but he’s nowhere to be seen. He’s probably gone home idiot. He thinks to himself, looking down at his watch. The day was technically over 15 minutes ago. He walks out the front door, saying goodbye to lingering coworkers on his way out. He makes sure to grab his sandwich from the fridge and shoves it into his bag, making sure to grab his cupcake as well.

For the last time of the day, he steps into the elevator, alone this time, and pops his headphones in, ready for the commute home. The elevator makes a couple stops to pick up people from other floors also on their way down, but the ride isn’t too long to the lobby. Satoru steps out of the elevator and makes his way towards the front doors. He begins his short walk back to the train station, once again walking to the beat of the music playing in his ears.  

He sees the train is already at the station as he’s walking up, and he begins to take a bit longer strides as he tries not to miss the train, but eventually, just misses it.

“Shit.” He hisses as he looks around for an open bench to wait on. A woman and her son sit on the bench directly behind him, so he finds an empty one slightly further down the station and sits down. He decides to text Utahime, who is probably still at the office.

‘Hiii Utahime, Just wondering if I was going to be training him again tomorrow morning :)’

He clicks send and almost immediately the three bubbles pop up to indicate that she’s typing. 

‘Yeah, he said that he liked training with you, which surprised me. Now leave me alone and go home.’

Satoru feels his face get red. He what? He thinks, a smile creeping onto his face. Don’t be crazy. With a stupidly excited grin, he rubs along his jaw, bringing his bottom lip in between hit teeth to try to bite back his smile. He can’t help but read the text over and over again to make sure that he understood correctly, and no matter how many times he reads it, it’s always the same message. He liked training with me? A voice comes over the speaker announcing that the train will soon be arriving in the station. Satoru stands up, straightening out his jacket while trying to suppress the goofy smile on his face. 

He steps onto the train and picks a seat close to the door. His short train ride was of course filled with people watching and imagining what their days are like. Finally, his stop arrives and he steps back out into the cool air and begins his walk back to his apartment. He can’t stop smiling to himself on the way home, just excited to go back and see him the next day. 

I have to invite him to lunch. He thinks to himself. They went to the same cafe, it was only polite to, right? Satoru opens the front door of his building and heads towards the elevator. He clicks the up arrow and waits for the ding and the doors slowly open. He steps inside the empty elevator and clicks the button for the 36th floor - same as the office, funnily enough. It makes it really easy to remember where you live and work when it’s the same number. He enjoyed being up so high, able to see all the beautiful lights of the city of Tokyo from his home. 

Satoru grabs his keys out of his pocket as he approaches his door, and easily unlocks the door without any trouble. He steps inside and calls out. “Shiro, I’m home!” He hears a small meow followed by a thud and the patter of paws padding out to greet him. “There’s my girl! Are you hungry?” She responds with a meow as Satoru sets his bag down and kicks off his shoes before stepping towards the kitchen and pulling out a can of wet food for the cat. A constant stream of meows fill the room until Satoru finally sets down the food for her. “Yeah yeah! I’m getting there!” He calls out to her as she yowls up at him from his feet. He sets down the bowl in its normal spot and Shiro digs in. “You act like you’ve never eaten before.” He says as he picks up his bag and shoes and heads into his bedroom. He sets his shoes back in their spot and hangs his bag on the hook on the back of his door. 

Satoru starts by taking off his jacket and hanging it up, followed by shedding the rest of his suit and clothing down to nothing but his underwear. He walks out of the closet, taking a quick look in the mirror with a smile on his way by to the bathroom. He turns on the shower and stands there while it heats up, thinking about his day, about how good this shower was going to feel, about Suguru. He takes a deep breath before shedding his final layer and stepping into the steamy shower. He lets the hot water run down over his hair and face before he rubs his face with his hands, still smiling over the day.

“You need to chill out.” He says out loud to himself in the shower. He runs his fingers through his hair and goes through the normal order of things in his after-work shower. He takes a deep breath and tries to relax his muscles as the hot water runs over his shoulders and down his back. The pressure of the water feeling good on his back, which is sore from sitting in his chair hunched over all day. He closes his eyes and lets the water run over his tired muscles for a minute before finally turning around and turning the water off. He shakes his hands through his hair, trying to get as much water out as possible. 

Satoru grabs his towel from the hook on the wall and uses it to dry off before wrapping it low around his waist. He opens the bathroom door and makes his way over to his dresser to pull out some sweat pants and a black tshirt. 

After putting on his moisturizer and getting redressed after his shower, Satoru makes his way back out into the kitchen. “What should I have for dinner, Shi?” He asks the fluffy cat, but mostly to himself as he opens the fridge to check what he has. After checking the pantry, he decides that he has the correct ingredients to make some lemon pepper salmon with rice, so he starts pulling out ingredients and in less than an hour later, he’s plating up and setting it on his dining room table. He takes a quick picture, satisfied with his work before he sits down and starts eating. 

“This is delicious!” He says into the empty apartment to himself. He smiles to himself as he finishes up his dinner and decides to wind down by watching something in the living room. He turns the tv on and picks up his phone before queuing anything up and sees a text from Shoko.

‘You didn’t tell me that you were training Geto!!!’ 

He reads the text and his heart rate immediately picks up again. Is he talking about me to Shoko? Races through his mind and he begins typing a response. 

‘You never asked ¯\_(ツ)_/¯’ He clicks send and immediately sees Shoko typing. He didn’t think to mention that he had in fact mentioned that he knew her. Not only that, but that she got him the job, similarly to how she had also gotten him the job. 

‘Dude!!!’

Satoru is confused as to what she’s getting at.

‘???’ He sends back.

‘Why didn’t you tell me??’

‘Idk, didn’t really realize that I needed to.’

‘Okay, I’ll talk to you tomorrow!’ She finishes with. 

“Weirdo.” Satoru says out loud to himself before setting his phone to the side and picking a random movie from his collection and pressing play, just to have something playing. He props his feet up on the coffee table and interlocks his fingers behind his head as he sits back, thinking about Suguru once again. He stares up at the ceiling, remembering how nice he smelled, how nice he looked. He feels a soft movement from the other side of the couch as Shiro makes her way over to plop herself down right on Satoru’s lap. 

“What the hell am I gonna do, Shi?” He asks, still looking up at the ceiling before bringing down one of his hands to pet the cat, who was happily leaning into the pets that she was getting. He smiles down at the fluffy white cat in his lap and paints his attention back up to the tv where his movie continued to play. Satoru spends his Monday evening watching movies and eating the cupcake from his favorite cafe, all while being unable to stop thinking about Suguru Geto.

About three movies and enough sugar to send a child into a sugar rush, Satoru looks at this phone once again. Empty of notifications and the time reads 10:31. “Guess I should get ready for bed, huh baby?” He says as the cat follows him into his bedroom. He flicks off the lamps as he walks by, leaving his living room lit up by nothing but the moon and the lights of downtown Tokyo down below. He turns on the lamp on his nightstand before stepping into the bathroom for one last time to brush his teeth. 

He walks out of the bathroom over to his windows. He sits down for a moment in the arm chair in the corner of his room and looks out the window. He enjoyed doing this before bed, just to relax a little bit. He liked to think about all the lives of everyone he could see from his window. Every person he can see has their own life that he will never know about. Satoru takes one last look at the busy street below and stands up and walks slowly over to his bed, yawning as he does so.

Pulling back the comforter, he climbs into his bed. Shiro jumps onto the bed and lays down close to his feet. Satoru throws the comforter over himself and grabs his phone from the nightstand, turning off the lamp as well. He opens up his text message with Utahime one more time just to smile and read that Suguru enjoyed being with him today. He thinks once more about how he also had mentioned him to Shoko. Satoru makes sure his alarms are set for the morning before turning on some brown noise to help him sleep. 

Last, Satoru sets his phone on the night stand and can’t help but smile excitedly into his pillow. He was excited for the day ahead of him for tomorrow. Finally, something to look forward to outside of the monotony of a typically boring office job. 

chapter 2

[miraculousbumbble]

Voltron but the Castle automatically connects to its visitors minds. But like room wise.

First night in the castle, none of the paladins noticed anything spectacular about their rooms. They were exhausted and had no reason to go looking around. But gradually, they noticed changes. Lance and Keith were probably the most drastic of said changes.

On the paladin's second day aboard the castle of lions, Lance woke up... feeling like everything was a dream. And for a moment, he almost thought the past year had been a dream. His bed felt soft and plush, his entire body was quite literally melting into the mattress, and the blanket he was using (which he swore was paper thin last night) was now heavy and soft and resembled the quilt his abuela had given him only three years prior.

His walls were the same walls he fell asleep surrounded by the night before except, one of them was no longer a wall but it wasn't a window either. It was a video of the Varadero beach from back home. The waves, God he could hear them, almost smell them. (Think the hotel Katniss was staying in from the first hunger games. It's literally that window but it's a wall.) When he sat up from the bed and his feet hit the floor it was weird how it was no longer the cold metal it had been last night, but was now the same wooden flooring that was used on his own bedroom from back home. And for a small moment, lance wanted to cry. Because he knew this wasn't real, his rug wasn't here and that wasn't a window to the beach (even if it was the beach was a 37 minute drive from his house.) His bed wasn't an uncomfortable twin XL bunk bed and even though there was a desk and closet, none of his things were in either of them. It was a fucked up illusion and lance almost wanted to be mad.

Keith on the other hand, it took his room time and effort to change around him. It was as if the longer it took for him to connect with Red and the other paladins, the longer his room took to understand what he wanted and needed. The Galra genes were easy, the Castle detected it when he first walked in and got scanned. Changing the shape of his bed and the general atmosphere of the room was easy, it was genetics. But when it came to wants, the castle had to learn alongside everyone else what Keith wanted.

The first really major thing was the blankets and pillows that seemingly came out of nowhere. Sometimes pillows would even change overnight if the castle felt that his sleep patterns were irregular. The next thing that changed was the flooring that resembled Shiro's apartment. It was weird, a miniscule thing Keith didn't think would ever bring up emotions, but that stupid flooring from Adam and Shiro's apartment nearly brought Keith to his knees. But Keith's favorite addition to the room? The ceiling. Somehow the castle was able to detect day night cycles of Texas and perfectly replicate it. During the day he could see clouds and sometimes if it rained the floor would create these fake puddles, a hologram almost, and at night he could see the constellations. (The other Paladins secretly loved Keith's room. His bed was large and nest-like, taking up the majority of the room, and you could move the ceiling around to look and point out the different constellations)

[nadekofannumber1]

I think an interesting aspect in monogatari is the conception of a room, like in the otori novel nadeko remarks how weird Koyomi’s room is, how it’s impersonal like a hotel room, how it feels like whoever lives there could bolt and leave any minute. The only true trace of Koyomi in his room is the weird porn he’s hiding in it somewhere secret and tucked away.

Tsubasa doesn’t have a room and a lot of neko shiro is her trying different rooms or different homes in that sense. The room is a symbol that shows the broader concept of a home but also the way one exists in a home. She performs the existence of a room despite lacking one, which is fascinating.

Kanbaru’s room is full of yaoi and is messy, and also is very much her own. It’s not impersonal it’s filled with things that enrich its occupant and is a space she can laze around and such. On its own it doesn’t stick out but with broader context it really shows how much the room is hers.

As a Nadeko fan I’ll of course mention Nadeko’s room. An extremely impersonal space of cutesy girly and pink entirely curated by her parents, the only trace seen of Nadeko exists in the closet where the manga is. Nadeko does own things like gaming consoles but they’re curiously never mentioned in the anatomy of the room itself, only that they do exist somewhere in the Sengoku household. Interesting how the space meant to be the most personal contains the least of the self (at least until post koimonogatari).

That’s all I got for now! I just wanted to ramble.

[bluemantics]

do u have any fics u think are like REALLY funny

Oh my gosh absolutely I do have humor tagged fics. When I write fanfics I try to make them funny, so when I read, I definitely look for the same! I put stars next to my faves.

If you want to check out my romcom klance fics and support me, they're here (coffee shop au) & here (hsm-ish au) /nf.

1. skin hunger by hiuythn

Canonverse | T+ | 12.5K

Keith is touch-starved to the point of stupidity. Lance helps. Lance tries to help. Lance tries.

2. the meaning of donuts by Katranga

Canonverse | T+ | 14.7K

The next few days were filled with Lance informing everyone, multiple times, of their “new” friendship. “We’re friends now, did you hear? Keith and I are friends.” Over and over, big smile, loud voice. Looking between Keith and whoever he was telling like he expected a round of applause. Or confetti. Or a parade. What he usually got was somebody making a crack about bonding moments, which prompted a tight, put-upon sigh on Keith’s end. And Lance would look at him fondly, and Keith would have to bite his cheek to distract himself from how much he wanted Lance to lean over and kiss him.

3. The Open Space of Desire by Prevalent_Masters *

Modern AU (river giuide x climber) | E | 44.8K

Keith’s doing just fine, thanks. So maybe he dropped out of college and maybe he doesn’t have what one might call “direction” in his life, but so what? He’s got a job he doesn’t hate, he’s got enough friends for his liking, he’s got Shiro, he’s got climbing on the weekends, he’s got the hookups with closeted college boys every once in awhile, and he’s fine. Happy. He doesn’t need anything to change.

That is, until he almost accidentally gets into a bar fight with an infuriatingly attractive river guide and then starts seeing said river guide everywhere and it turns out he's less infuriating but still definitely attractive, and, well—maybe Keith hasn’t been doing that fine. Maybe one thing can change.

4. Eyes So Pretty by stormie2817

Canonverse | T+ | 2.8K

When the paladins and their friends gather for a night of drinking and relaxing, Lance indulges a little too much and says some rather interesting things about a certain paladin....

5. The Loverboy Trials by PM_Writes

Canonverse | M | 20.8K

He can tell Shiro is struggling to remain collected. “And why do you think Keith is your…sex…god?” And geez, that would be so much funnier if this wasn’t so disturbing.

The representative leads them to the back of the council room where she pulls aside a large curtain. Behind it, a huge mural stretches to the ceiling.

It looks exactly like Keith.

6. you’re lucky that’s what I like by zencetera

College AU | T+ | 4K

Lance rescues a hamster from certain doom.

or, Lance has Keith wrapped around his little finger and doesn’t even realize it.

7. Billy Ray is my boyfriend by VertigoReader101

Youtuber AU | G | 6K

It was moments like these that made Lance forget about his fears of telling everyone about his boyfriend. It was moments like these that he wanted to whip out his camera and share the love of his life with the world.

8. A Keithmas Carol by YouAreInAComaWakeUp (Nikanaiko) *

Bluemantics commentary: I adore Nikanaiko's writing more than literally any other klance author's. While I didn't laugh out loud while reading many fics, I always lose my shit for their work, SO PLEASE CHECK IT OUT.

Christmas Carol AU | T+ | 28.5K

Keith has read A Christmas Carol. Keith knows how A Christmas Carol is supposed to go.

This is not how A Christmas Carol is supposed to go.

9. suite on you by adelfie

College AU | T+ | 12K

Accident-prone Lance McClain learns that his grumpy suitemate, Keith, has one rule: to leave him alone. Lance would really like to follow that rule. Really. But his clumsiness has other plans.

10. It Never Rains on Saturday by TheLegendOfChel *

Video Game AU | T+ | 22.7K

In the magical kingdom of Altea lies an ominous tower filled with monsters. Every day, adventurers battle through the tower’s levels in a never-ending quest to slay the Demon King who lives at the very top.

Lance, a talented archer, is one such adventurer. However, Lance doesn’t want to kill the Demon King.

Lance wants to marry him.

11. Keith Kogane Tries to Keep Up With a Professional Chef | Back-to-Back Chef | Bon Appétit by eggyeggplant *

Bluemantics commentary: I'm in shock this one isn't more popular since it is one of the funniest fics I've EVER read for ANY fandom. If you read this one, please give the author extra love, comments, kudos, etc.

Youtube AU | G | 3.5K

Actor Keith Kogane appears in a YouTube video with an old friend Lance McClain in an episode of Back-to-Back Chef where they attempt to make simple carbonara but they keep getting distracted by flirting with each other.

Hope these make you laugh anon!