#should NOT do ANY of that shit its literally physically killing him. dude wake the fuck up! im breaking the cycle whether you like it or not

[charaznablescanontoyota]

"marn i missed sgdq 2024 what should i watch"

hi i decided i'm doing another one of these. it's been a minute. this past week was summer games done quick, an annual speedrunning marathon raising money for doctors without borders and also a great way to get into watching speedrunning. a lot of their content is tailored towards being both clearly explained and fun to watch for an audience outside the speedrun community, so you can jump in with basically no knowledge besides “this person is gonna play a game really fast”.

gdq has the full week's worth of vods up as a playlist on their channel, but here are some runs that i personally think you should check out:

ken griffy jr presents mlb by peanut butter the dog: look it's a dog playing baseball. i don't know what else to tell you.

the entire silly block: speedrunners get up way too early in the morning/late at night to play games that feel like a fever dream. some of the commentators are going on 24 hours of no sleep. it's brilliant. my personal highlights of what i've seen so far are stuart little 2, mad panic coaster, city bus simulator race, and the golf it wrong hole only race that the players dressed up as golfers for

alan wake 2 alan%: alan wake clips through walls and generally has a bad time while a bunch of gamers call him a sopping wet catboy. the runner for this one is really charismatic and it's very funny to see staff rushing to open up the pit as soon as we sing starts (yes they do the dance of course they do the dance). i just love joyful runs of horror games man

super mario 64 blindfolded randomizer: what if you played mario 64 blindfolded and also the stars were in completely random locations. and also you had to do it very very fast.

kingdom hearts 2 critical any%: every kh2 speedrun i've ever seen is a work of art and this one is no different. some of the boss fights go down so fast you will literally miss them if you look away for a minute. and also two of my favorite runners are on couch commentary!

balatro showcase: genuinely made me rethink how i'm playing some of the balatro decks. also great commentary and just fun all around despite (or perhaps partially because of) the absolute struggle session going on with plasma deck in the beginning

super mario world kaizo relay: kaizo is a shorthand term for a game hacked to its absolute limits of difficulty that often requires strict precision of movement and can punish the player for thinking they're smarter than it. in this segment, two teams of 4 very very good mario runners race to complete 8 kaizo levels they've never seen before in their lives

mario maker 2 troll level race: i always like the mario maker races for the same reason i like the kaizo relays. i love watching two speedrunners thrown blindly into the shit have to make up strategies on the fly via trial and error (and error, and error, and error, and...)

kirby air ride race: two high level kirby air ride speedrunners race for an actual physical title belt. the trash talk game happening here is of the insane variety that only two very skilled people who truly respect each others' talents at their game of choice can provide

kaizo mario galaxy: what if mario galaxy hated you even more than usual and would stop at nothing to kill you. also most of the commentators are only familiar with the vanilla game and their reactions to the added-in bullshit are hysterical

tony hawk pro skater 1, 2, 3, and 4: i fell asleep watching this and woke up in a cold sweat to the sound of a bunch of people singing superman by goldfinger. good run

super mario rpg remake: this was the finale block and it's just great to see a bunch of people who really really love the original mario rpg get to hang out and talk about how good it is and also watch a world record level player absolutely stunt on the game

halo 3 four-player co-op legendary: dudes rock

[spaghettiandart]

Hello! I’m a recent follower, and I really love your Old Man Phil AU. I was wondering, does Phil ever realize that he was a racist, genocidal zealot who was going to be responsible for a *lot* of deaths on the Day of Unity? If so, how does he feel when he remembers? You don’t have to answer this if your ask box is super full, or if you just don’t want to.

Hey! Sorry for taking a while to get back to this post, it's been a while since I've watched TOH and my interest in the au has died down. But I have thought about how a possible reveal like this would go, though since the au was mostly for laughs (and so I could relentlessly bully Belos) I didn't put much in depth thought into it.

I do love to ramble, though, so let me ramble a bit about how I'd like to portray "the reveal" in the au

Since this is a early season 1 au, a LOT of things are obviously diverging from canon, too many to really write down right now. Thered be different events entirely from canon, things that occurred as a catalyst of either Belos's actions or the actions or people associated with him would either not occur at all or occur differently, so the timeline is definitely going to look a lot different.

That said, I think having Phil realize/remember who he was/is should happen around... maybe mid-to-late season 2? I mean like. I don't know how exactly itd go. Maybe he falls down another set of stairs, wakes up, and goes "HOLY SHIT" like right after

I feel like itd be a huge tonal whiplash. Also itd be like... okay, so memories do shape a person, and the new memories "Phil" forms shapes him. So I imagine if/when the old memories comes back, there's a definite conflict of priorities/moral values going on there. I mean I imagine inherently Belos/Philip is an incredibly selfish person with a list of crimes several miles long, BUT he also believes that everything he's doing is the right thing (for whom, whether it be himself or humanity or whatever season 3 revealed, is up in the air) even when he takes enjoyment from the suffering of others during the process (literally just count any of the times hes hurt someone else in the show) like hes so full of himself it physically hurts, so obviously he'd probably try to rationalize everything to himself. Because I imagine having the willpower to keep on doing shit like that for CENTURIES takes a BUNCH of rationalization and leaps of logic, especially since hes a zealot who grew up within heavily religious and I imagine almost cultish surroundings.

I imagine denial. HEAVY denial. Imagine one day you're just some old dude with a mildly shitty attitude and then the next day you wake up and remember your entire past life where you were a racist, genocidal, puritanical tyrant that had extended his own life by unnatural means and also killed his own brother and did WHAT with his body and also is planning to Literally Murder Everyone. What do you even do in that situation?

I dont think hed be able to look anyone in the eye at all after learning that. A) because these are people past-him wanted to MURDER, and B) because a very decent part of him, after having regained those memories, still feels the ingrained hate and vitriol it once had towards witches.

Its strange to think of where hed go from that point, because you'd have to take into account both his older personality and his newer personality and the morals, memories, relationships, etc both past him and current him had, since they'd all affect what hed do.

But basically: a whole mix of emotions including guilt (at the whole murder and being a terrible human being thing like seriously awful), rage (at losing his memories in the first place), even more rage (at having "played house" with witches and demons), denial, denial, and more denial.

[canary3d-obsessed]

Restless Rewatch: The Untamed Episode 19, part one

(Masterpost) (Other Canary Stuff) (Previous Post)

Warning: Spoilers for All 50 Episodes!

Chilling in Yiling

We start off with Wei Wuxian hanging out in a busy area of Yiling, which is a really dumb place to pick for a fugitive rendezvous.  

He's wearing a fashionably distressed brown robe, and a woven disguise hat, that makes him invisible to his enemies until the moment he takes it off, kinda like the mask he wears in his second life. Unfortunately he is a polite boi so he takes off the disguise hat when he goes indoors to get a bite to eat, and promptly gets smacked down by Wen Zhuliu. 

Xiao Zhan's stunt double is really good at this wire-pull+table-smash move; this is the second time Wei Wuxian goes crashing through a table (the first one being when Yu Ziyuan was beating him). This time he clutches his now core-less abdomen, in a move we're going to be seeing a lot of, going forward. Abdominal surgery is a bitch. OP can personally attest to this.

Wen Zhuliu provides some comic relief by looking at his hand in puzzlement; he clearly can tell Wei Wuxian has no golden core, but he isn't going to bother telling Wen Chao that.

Wen Chao gloats and steps on Wei Wuxian's hand while Wei Wuxian stares at his shoe and OP wonders, not for the first time, how they make rubberized zig-zag treads in Ancient Fantasy China.

(more after the cut)

This is all happening in the Yiling Wine house where Wei Wuxian will later share the most important meal of his life, the one in which A-Yuan lays claim to Lan Wangji, ultimately giving LWJ a reason to live long enough for Wei Wuxian to be resurrected. If that doesn’t deserve a good Yelp review, nothing does. 

Dream a Little Dream of Me

While Wei Wuxian gets ready for his big whump scene, Jiang Cheng is dreaming, and looking absolutely breathtaking in this deceptively simple robe, that's made of a really complex fabric, that catches the light all over its surface.  The lighting here is warm and romantic, giving everything a nostalgic glow.

He looks around the courtyard in his dream, and sees Jiang Yanli and Wei Wuxian come running in the gate carrying kites. 

A child fetching a kite was the first casualty of the Wen attack on Lotus Pier, so this image may already be a little fraught for Jiang Cheng. In this initial image of his family, Jiang Cheng isn't present as a child, but then his junior self comes running up, to be warmly greeted by his mother.

Jiang Cheng's reaction to the scene playing out in front of him is not a simple one. We've seen him externally expressing his trauma at the fate of Lotus Pier and his family - his anger and his despair - and this dream shows us his private, interior trauma. 

His body has been repaired by Wei Wuxian and the Wens, but his psyche has not.

This family interaction can't possibly be one that ever happened. It's too lively, too affectionate, too comfortable. The family he was part of as a young adult was cold, angry, cracked.  Families don't change that much in 10 years, unless there's a major trauma that alters things in a fundamental way.

Even the glimpses we got of his childhood contradict this image. This warm group is not the family of "I sent your dogs away" or "wait in the cold until Jiang Cheng lets you in" or "I won't tell Clan Leader Jiang what happened" or "I'm only 11 but I'm in charge of soup and bedtime already"

Jiang Cheng smiles at the affection he sees enacted in front of him, but quickly moves to grief. When a toxic person dies, you don't just lose the relationship you had with them; you lose the hope for a better relationship. Perhaps Jiang Cheng has always imagined this version of his family; now nothing like it can ever come to be.

The pleasant scene vanishes into nightmare, as his mother starts bleeding from her eyes, ew. This is like Nie Mingjue when he qi deviates, but dream Yu Ziyuan is perfectly chill about it. 

Jiang Cheng is not perfectly chill about it. 

He turns around to see Lotus Pier burning. When he turns back, his family has been replaced with Wen Zhuliu, who is particularly gleeful as he reaches into Jiang Cheng's chest and melts his core.

Jiang Cheng wakes up on the mountain, alone (as far as he knows), and quickly stands and boots up his new golden core.

It's purple, because of course it is. King. The nightmare is gone and he smiles, maybe for the first time since the attack on the pier.

In a moment that is probably going to feel really embarrassing in hindsight, he kneels and bows toward the mountaintops to thank Baoshan Sanren, who is totally not there. 

Wen Ning, on the other hand, is there, although we only see a little bit of his belt and robe as Jiang Cheng walks off to Yiling to meet his brother.  This entire plotline walks a very weird line in which the audience is told just enough about what’s really happening to be confused, but not surprised.

Do the Whumpty Whump

After some initial roughing up, Wen Chao has his dudes stand Wei Wuxian up so he can question him without actually getting any information out of him at all. They take turns calling each other dogs, with Wei Wuxian saying that when Wen Chao talks he just hears a dog barking. (Of course if he really heard a dog barking he'd be terrified) 

Then he says "isn't that right" to Wang Lingjiao, and Wen Chao gets super pissed; don't disrespect me to my woman. 

He has his minions do a Nancy Kerrigan to Wei Wuxian's knee and then kick him for a while.

Then they kick the shit out of the camera operator.

Wen Chao is really not about fighting his own fights.  He also keeps threatening to have Wen Zhuliu melt Wei Wuxian's core, and Wen Zhuliu keeps popping up his hand and then putting it back when Wen Chao changes his mind, which gets more hilarious every time I watch it. Feng Mingjing’s physical embodiment of Wen Zhuliu is endlessly entertaining, even in scenes where he has literally no lines. 

I Ain’t Afraid of No Ghost

Wei Wuxian continues to goad Wen Chao, telling him that more torture is good because then he'll die with loads of resentment. He says that after he dies, he will come back as a ferocious ghost, which is...almost exactly what happens, except he stays alive for the ferocious part. 

They go back and forth about the feasibility of this whole haunting plan. Wang Lingjiao is the voice of reason, for once, arguing the "ghosts aren't real and anyway fuck this guy" position.

Wen Chao thinks that he can’t haunt them because of cultivator security hardening procedures soul-calming rituals, but Wei Wuxian wasn't born into a gentry family so didn't have the anti-fierce-ghost treatment that other cultivators get.

This is the only time in the whole of the show when Wei Wuxian says, himself, that he's the son of a servant. He's using his reputation as a commoner to bolster his threats. 

Wei Wuxian is working hard to put on a scary-guy persona, which works pretty well on Wang Lingjiao but not as much on the rest of the group. Three months from this time, however, he will have become the scary, vengeful creature he's currently spitballing about.  He will also become way, way better at torture than the people who are currently mistreating him. 

Wang Lingjiao and Wen Chao go through a whole sequence of ideas about what to do with him. For whatever reason Wang Lingjiao doesn't insist on chopping his arm off even though she's been craving it for ages. 

She does gleefully burn his burn some more, causing it to bleed directly into the giant obvious bag he has hanging from his belt leaking resentful energy. Which the Wens do not take away or search.

Wen Chao, incidentally, starts calling him Wei Ying during this encounter, which is rude of him. Tch.  Finally Wen Chao decides on a plan, which involves sword-flying effects so terrible that no soul can survive them.

Jiang Cheng is looking for Wei Wuxian in town, wearing a woven hat like Wei Wuxian’s.  This...is not a disguise. If you want to be inconspicuous, maybe take that giant piece of silver off of your head.

He hears random people talking about the Wens being in town, and then he apparently looks up at the sky and sees the Wen dudes flying on their swords with Wei Wuxian, but it looks so ridiculous that Jiang Cheng's mind cannot process what he is seeing.

While they "fly," Wen Chao delivers a massive brick of exposition about the burial mounds, while Wei Wuxian looks genuinely frightened. The VFX of random, undifferentiated mountaintops and clouds do nothing to sell this menace, but the exposition is actually pretty good, creating a real sense of disturbance and threat.

Then they toss him in, and we go from the terrible VFX of sword flying to a visual effect that they mercifully did really well throughout the show - the black resentment smoke. This time it catches Wei Wuxian and holds him for a few moments, before dropping him the rest of the way to the ground. It also apparently pulls the turtle sword out of his belt bag, but we don't see that part.

They Say That Every Man Must Fall

Having seen Wei Wuxian at his lowest point (so far) and dream Jiang Cheng also in deep distress, we go to the Dafan Wen sibs, who have also reached a breaking point. Because they helped Wei Wuxian and Jiang Cheng, they are traitors to their clan - unquestionably so - and are being punished for it, with Wen Ning having been tortured in addition to being locked up.

I see my light come shining From the west down to the east Any day now, any day now I shall be released

You know how Lan Xichen successfully argued for Wen-Clan-Member Meng Yao's life and status, because Meng Yao betrayed Wen Ruohan to help them? Even though Meng Yao killed a bunch of Nie guys? Wen Ning and Wen Qing also betrayed Wen Ruohan and helped the Sunshot Campaign, without killing a bunch of guys. They should have been treated as allies by the four other clans, but they got diddly.  

I’ve Been Dead Once

We return to Wei Wuxian in the burial grounds, where he's lying on the ground surrounded by resentful energy and by strained, desperate voices calling his name. This whole sequence is remarkable, since it effectively communicates the horror he's experiencing, through little more than Xiao Zhan's face and good sound design.

I hang around dying to be tortured  You'll never be alone in the bone orchard

The voices call four versions of his name. A variety of voices call him Wei Wuxian, Wei Gongzi, and Shixiong, which (I think) is what the young Jiang disciples would have called him. And in the midst of those voices, Lan Wangji's voice, low and calm, saying "Wei Ying." Upon hearing that Wei Wuxian starts to drag himself up.

For a show with definitely no zombies in it, they sure do use the visual language of zombie films for Wei Wuxian's first motions after hitting the ground. Starting with twitching fingers, then gradually pulling himself halfway up and crawling, lurching across the ground. Wei Wuxian comes slowly back to life, the very first member of his army of the dead.

He makes his way across the ground toward the floating turtle sword. Along the way he accidentally grabs the world's most bowlegged thigh bone; the lack of sunshine in the burial mounds puts the skeletons at risk for rickets.  All of the skeletons in the show are exactly what you would expect from the practical effects team that made the demon hand and the animatronic dog.

The turtle sword is roiling with resentful energy, and is talking to Wei Wuxian as he crawls toward it, asking if he wants revenge. And what a coincidence, he DOES want revenge. 

He grabs the sword and plunges it into the ground in an explosion of resentful energy. (Ground: why you gotta take it out on me?)

The sequence ends with the most compelling, ominous shot of Wei Wuxian's face...a new man. 

Soundtrack: 1. I Shall Be Released by Bob Dylan 2. Beyond Belief by Elvis Costello  

Writing Prompt: The Day Wei Wuxian arrived, from the POV of a Burial Mounds ghost. 

[ary-se]

Mankai with a roach

some of these are based on irl experiences so i hope y'all enjoy reading this as much as i did writing it LMAO no braincells were involved in doing this i am so sorry.. also tagging @tsum-uwu-gi for some of the totally whack ideas, tysm 🥰

🐪 the mankai dorm never really experienced having a roach flying all over the place that much, and even if it did, they're immediately dealt with by the moms of the dorm

🐪 that was mostly the case until that one specific day arrived, when the reliable people were gone for different reasons. tsuzuru was in his part-time job, omi was getting groceries, tasuku was a guest actor for another troupe, and no one knows what in the world sakyo was up to

🐪 anyways the first one to notice was azuma, he walked in the bathroom probably to take a dump or something - who knows really lol - when he found himself staring at a roach that was literally on the toilet.

🐪 azuma literally has no idea how or when it got there, but the fact remains that there is no freaking way he is going to use the toilet unless he wants a death sentence. the logical choice was to close the toilet and flush it, but at that moment he kinda lost his shit, both literally and figuratively, and so all he did was act composed as he quickly left the bathroom

🐪 "azu-nee, why do you look so pale?" yuki asked him out of curiosity in the dining room, but azuma is hella smooth so he just laughs it off and acts as if he totally wasn't horrified at all, "it's nothing, you're probably imagining things."

🐪 after that incident, nothing happens for at least an hour. unfortunately, a roach doesn't simply disappear just because you want them to, which was why azuma's efforts of not letting the roach escape from the bathroom were in vain...

🐪 for some apparent reason taichi sometimes has this tendency of holding his own pee before he sprints to the toilet and just bursts in there, so when he ran to the bathroom and immediately let out an ungodly screech, it's all fucking over

🐪 did taichi piss himself? who the hell freaking knows. if he did, mankai would normally either laugh or feel bad for him or both, but at that moment nobody cared about that. what actually mattered was that taichi left the fucking door open so the moment he screamed, the roach already started flying EVERYWHERE

🐪 the one who was nearby the bathroom that time was kazunari. even if kazunari acts like he is scared of roaches, he actually isn't and he is capable of killing a roach in sight. would he help taichi, who has his fly almost open, by killing the roach and call it a day?

🐪 the answer is hell no. killing it doesn't even cross his mind. kazunari thinks this is really hilarious, and if he finds something funny he doesn't do anything to solve the problem. kazunari would basically make things worse by going live on his instablam to record what is happening. in this case, it is all about the unwanted creature and where in the actual world it is gonna land

🐪 gladly, kazu's sanity is still intact that he didn't include taichi in his live for the first few minutes. if kazu did, taichi better say bye bye to his remaining dignity and write his last will so he can finally dig his own grave. people will forever know him as the ugly sobbing, screaming dude in the bathroom with his fly open, and that is honestly the last thing taichi wants to be known for

🐪 sakuya goes to where the chaos is, poor boy was legitimately confused as to why two people are yelling and laughing at the same time. it is normal in mankai but every time it happens, somewhing whack is happening. unfortunately for sakuya, he was completely unaware of the roach flying behind him

🐪 "hi kazunari!" sakuya greets, and the roach lands on the sleeve of his hoodie. sakuya is a pure little bean, he is ALWAYS a pure bean but if kazu was being honest, the current image of sakuya smiling widely while a roach is chilling on his sleeve was really unnerving in its own way

🐪 kazu started to laugh so hard that he is physically unable to explain to sakuya what was happening, and he felt so bad about it. sadly, kazu doesn't have the capability to stop laughing by force, does he? because of the lack of explanation, it took sakuya approximately 7 seconds of obliviousness before he notices

🐪 tenma arrived right after that, and the roach flies off sakuya's hoodie after he jumps from surprise. high and mighty carrot boy is now in for a storm cause the moment he appeared, the roach lands on top of tenma's freaking head out of all places

🐪 "hey guys, what's happening?"

🐪 "there's a flying roach. and it is now on your head." kazunari deadpans. he always tricked tenma when it comes to these kinds of things, but he is serious this time

🐪 tenma literally HUFFS as if he doesn't believe kazunari in the slightest, and tbh you can't blame him cause summer troupe gave him trust issues from their pranks. sorry mister. unlike their old pranks, it is actually real right now... kazu ain't joking, please believe him now

🐪 tenma shrugs and places a hand on his head nonchalantly to ~prove his point~, "you won't fool me again-" he froze the moment he actually felt something moist moving under his hand

🐪 at that moment tenma screamed one hundred fucking times louder than the entire mankai company could, the entire neighborhood would learn their lesson to bring earplugs wherever they go cause his screams are literally ear-splitting

🐪 tenma should say goodbye to his reputation as a k00L b0y 4ct0R😎 that he has maintained for so long cause a lot of people are already watching the live. also rip to the people who were using earphones... at least you have witnessed tenma's most unglorious moment on public. from that moment he is already and permanently a meme and there is no going back

🐪 "STOP SCREAMING HACK!!" yuki yells at him with all of his might, but it was super inaudible because his scream still reigns. the roach lands on the wall, so yuki grabs whatever was on the table. it was banri's fashion magazine, which is fucking useless by the way, because he still can't dress himself up no matter how many fashion magazines he purchases. good job yuki for using it as a sacrifice

🐪 yuki rolled the magazine and repeatedly whacked it to the wall out of pure annoyance so he can kill the roach. in all honesty, the roach would've been dead by now from yuki's wrath, but curse his height cause he can't reach the freaking roach no matter how hard he tried. sorry yuki, your courage and bravery were all in vain

🐪 amidst all the chaos, nobody freaking noticed muku, who was deadass in the living room the whole time. question is, how is muku not aware of what was happening? how did he manage not to hear taichi's and even the mighty tenma's screams? the answer is simple. HE WAS TOO ENGROSSED IN HIS SHOUJO MANGA.

🐪 when yuki was about to finally hit the roach, it flew to the cover of muku's shoujo freaking manga. for an unknown reason, muku doesn't even flinch. HE JUST KEPT ON READING. muku, everyone adores you especially with your love for romance but the kissing scene isn't important right now, PLEASE STOP READING THIS INSTANT

🐪 everyone literally went silent, nobody had the heart to tell muku. they just watched the roach crawl slowly to muku's fingers in suspense. after what seemed like forever, muku closed his book while giggling, but that didn't last forever cause he saw the roach and in a split second he dropped his book without any hesitation

🐪 muku got so freaked out they all felt sorry to the poor boy. he just stared at the shoujo manga that is now on the floor, endlessly mumbling about having to buy a new one because the roach already cursed his book and he will become unlucky and he might pass on the curse to everybody else and they will fail all their upcoming shows and---

🐪 anyways. the roach lands on citron's palms, and citron... surprisingly doesn't freak out. he doesn't care. actually, CITRON'S HAPPY??? he just looks at the roach in fascination and if it were any other creature it would look so adorable. but no, it had to be a ROACH and it's absolutely whack and disgusting. please remember that it is the same roach that came from the freaking toilet. citron, please wash your hands RIGHT NOW.

🐪 "CITRON KILL IT!!"

🐪 "NO, NO! POOR COACH!" citron shakes his head, reluctant to kill it. he kept the roach in his hands so nobody would be able to kill it... he was oddly protective of it and NOBODY KNOWS WHY. THEY ALL DO NOT WANT TO KNOW WHY EITHER. citron please stop, what you're doing is making everything way worse. let go of that roach this instant and be hygienic just PLEASE oh my god

🐪 everybody already lost hope on trying to kill the roach, citron and his questionable logic is beyond their comprehension. but they refuse to waste their time fighting him about it because it will fly everywhere and no one wants that... lucky for them, tsuzuru finally arrives the dorms. HE IS EVERYONE'S SALVATION! SOMEONE WHO CAN FINALLY KILL THE ROACH! FREAKING FINALLY,,

🐪 yeah no, nevermind that. tsuzuru was so fucking tired from his part-time job that he just collapses right after he closed the door. please let the poor man sleep, don't even bother on trying to wake him up to kill the roach cause there's no way he is gonna wake up any time soon. cut him some slack. they felt bad for him but it happens way too often so they just left him on the doorway and that's it.

🐪 a few minutes after tsuzuru passed out, banri got back from no one knows where, probably shopping for more animal print clothes... who the hell knows. unlike the others, banri already knew what was happening without asking cause he has been watching kazu's live for like ten minutes already. if he was being honest, the whole thing was making him lose his shit so he tried to go back to the dorms asap to not miss out on anything good

🐪 coincidentally, juza also left their room from his long ass nap to see wtf was happening cause they were being hella noisy. after some explaining, when juza already fully figured out what was going on, he was aboutta kill it, ACTUALLY KILL IT, when banri stopped him. "you get out of this. i am the one killing it."

🐪 "get your own roach for you to kill, settsu"

🐪 curse their competitive asses cause it has reached to the point where they're already starting to beat each other up to death. the goal here is to kill the roach, not each other you dumbasses, get your brains straight please that's not helping anything don't be stupid for once

🐪 the roach flew from citron's hands and everybody screeched but finally, FINALLY AN ADULT walks in. tsumugi went in the dorm from the garden with a bottle of pesticide in his hand. once everybody noticed what he was holding, they were all getting panicky so they angrily screamed at him to spray it to the roach, it was too chaotic

🐪 tsumugi was so confused??? why was everybody angry at him?? what did he do to deserve this?? he doesn't actually think his pesticide works on roaches, but it was probably better if he stays silent about it since everyone will not listen and would force him to spray it on the roach anyways, what's the point

🐪 and so he did. at first, the roach stopped moving, so they assumed it was already dead. tsumugi then sprayed a lot more to make sure it actually was dead and everybody collectively sighed in relief. finally the fiasco is over. everyome can go back to their normal lives before this fucking happened

🐪 or not. the ROACH DEADASS FLEW AGAIN AND THEY ALL PANICKED. funny enough tsumugi calmly explained amidst all that, and it turns out tsumugi's pesticide was weak, and to top it all off it was water-based so it had no freaking effect on the roach whatsoever. too bad, so much for everybody getting false hope, huh. they wanna blame tsumugi for not saying anything before spraying but it is also their fault for getting worked up so whatever

🐪 itaru arrives from work, and one quick glance on what everyone was yelling about tells him that he refuses to participate in this crap. give him a freaking break please. he was dealing with work and you're telling him that he has to put up with this, too? hell fuckin no. he manages to quickly escape to his room to catch up on his games and it is a good thing that no one really noticed. they're too busy screeching every time the roach just flies outta nowhere.

🐪 masumi was deadass watching them from the sidelines. he could tell them to open the windows and just wait for the roach to fly outside so they can get it over with and call it a day. what a joke though, masumi giving helpful tips so everyone can calm down? yeah right haha no. he doesn't want to waste his energy on doing that even if their noise was actually getting into his nerves, so the whole duration he stays silent while he watches them lose their shit

🐪 this is one of the moments where they all legitimately wished misumi was here right now. him blabbing about triangles every second made them think that the roach kind of looks like a triangle when its wings are out. misumi what did you do to them to make them think this way?? did you make them do the triangle calisthenics or cathletics or whatever the heck that is??

🐪 knowing misumi, he can catch the roach in a matter of seconds. so where in the world is misumi? he is out again for his daily triangle hunting, obviously. come back, misumi... literally everything would be over in a flash if misumi decided to stay in the dorms today

🐪 despite this, for some apparent reason homare manages to find inspiration in all this. look, mister. the dorm is a fucking chaos. actual chaos. kazunari is somehow still live on instablam, wheezing so hard like he is gonna die any second now. the scene is literally just teenage boys screaming and running all over the place. two of said teenage boys are beating each other up... and one (1), ONE roach flies on top of everything, still fucking alive. EXACTLY WHAT PART OF THAT MAKES YOU FEEL INSPIRED HUH HOMARE!!! SPEAK UP!!!

🐪 the noise levels of mankai dorm is practically a headache at this point, if sakyo was here his boomer brain would be having a migraine that would be worth a week of pure pain and agony. for some reason, hisoka, who is on the sofa in the living room, literally in the MIDDLE OF THE CHAOS, just sleeps through it all.

🐪 how does he do that? just what kind of marshmallows does he eat?? do they permanently damage a person's hearing?? no matter how many times they woke hisoka up, he doesn't budge. what the actual fuck. and tsuzuru is still sleeping in the freaking doorway. at this point they could cuddle each other for all they want until they fucking die cause no amount of noise is gonna wake them up from their eternal slumber

🐪 after what seemed like forever, sakyo arrived and everybody immediately went silent. they stopped what they were doing except kazu, who was either incredibly stupid or incredibly brave, nobody wants to answer that right now. he is still live on instablam. even the live chat went silent.

🐪 sakyo still doesn't know what was happening but he knows it is BAD news, so he glared right at kazunari's camera and the last moments before the live ended was sakyo angrily stomping his way to kazunari and the screen blacked out

🐪 after learning that everything was only caused by a roach, sakyo got so mad that he managed to snatch a flip flop out of nowhere and killed the roach until it was completely crushed. it was safe to say everybody felt bad to the roach despite being the cause of everything. by the way, whose flip flop was that? nobody knows.

🐪 tasuku, misumi and omi arrived in the dorms while sakyo was lecturing everyone, and they still got dragged in without knowing what in the world happened. please pray for these poor souls they have to deal with his yelling without even being a part of it.

🐪 omi just bought groceries for dinner, he didn't waste his time to do that just to have no dinner tonight oh my god please give this man a break from everyone's bullcrap. tasuku's role in the other company's play was some random teen whose parents were mad at him for doing shit. he doesn't have to deal with sakyo actually getting mad too please let this man live in peace. and misumi? he isn't happy that he got dragged in, too. this is not very sankaku of you, sakyo

🐪 "MIYOSHI, WHY DID YOU HAVE TO RECORD THE WHOLE THING? YOU'RE RUINING THE COMPANY'S IMAGE. ALSO THE BOTH OF YOU FIGHTING YADDA YADDA YADDA"

🐪 the lecture lasted for 5 hours and nobody ate dinner that night. everybody was so tired after that. nobody was allowed to speak and if someone mutters, sakyo will yell at them next. can sakyo still lecture you for another 5 hours even after that long ass session? unfortunately yes.

🐪 everybody was banned from eating meals the next day. the resident moms reached an agreement that at least one of them always stays in the mankai dorm so this never EVER happens again. once is enough, they do not need another fiasco like this one.

🐪 oh and was it mentioned that kazunari doesn't have a phone for a solid month? cause that happened, sakyo banned him. you bet he managed to live a phoneless life by logging on his social media platforms on other people's phones without sakyo knowing,, not really the definition of "phoneless" if you ask him..

[sweetest-honeybee]

Tears of a Banshee

Summary: Logan is a banshee and he has to live through the day that Virgil will be meeting his end soon.

TW: Character Death, Heavy Angst, Crying, Mentions of Burning Sensations and Magma, Scratching at the Throat, Vivid Descriptions of Screaming, Creature!Logan, Dragons, Fire, etc.

THIS IS ANGST WITH NO HAPPY ENDING. DO NOT SAY “Someone pls give it a happy ending” BECAUSE THAT IS NOT THE INTENTION. ITS SAD AND MEANT TO BE SAD.

Characters: All the Sides and mentions of Thomas

Word Count: 2472

Enjoy!

————————

Logan had intended to wake up peacefully like he did many months before- years, in fact. He hadn’t usually woken up with that single thought in his mind: Someone was going to die. How he’d known for sure, he didn’t know. But the tingling sensation in his throat and his growing inner grief had already started building up.

He sat up, waving aimlessly at his nightstand to put on his glasses. He scratched his throat and swallowed thickly.

Ah, this is what happens when you’re a banshee.

Repeating his daily morning routine still hadn’t been any harder than before. Soreness and a lump in his throat came to be otherwise. However, he was sure he’d be fine to join for breakfast. Though, he’d been wondering who it was. Who was going to die? Traits could certainly “die”, he knew. Their physical forms were merely vessels with memories that could be killed off and the trait inside them would live on to find another vessel roaming in the Imagination.

But again, no vessel means the loss of memories and personality. He was close to almost all of the sides now, he couldn’t help but to worry.

Taking a last look into his bathroom mirror, he straightened his tie and sunk out. Appearing again in the dining hall, he was greeted by a happy Patton plating him some waffles. The twins had their journals and glitter pens sprawled on at least half of the long cherrywood table. A map set right in the middle.

A nod from Virgil, a mindless hello from each of the busy twins, and a polite greeting from Janus later, the group was seated and discussing day plans.

“Thomas has two meetings today to discuss the next Thomas Sanders and Friends video. Since it is the end of the month, he has the monthly Vine compilation due in three days.” Logan made margin notes and small diagrams as he went. “I need a list of more Sanders Shorts ideas from the twins by the end of the day today.”

An exaggerated double groan confirmed his statement but the twins announced their progress.

Logan looked around the table. The others were still eating their breakfast. Nothing had seemed off so far. Virgil scrolled through his social media with a single earbud in. The twins continued discussing their ideas, Roman occasionally grimacing at The Duke’s input. Janus stayed quiet, answering some of Patton’s occasional questions and indulging in smaller conversation starters.

Who was it?

A few minutes went by and he finished his breakfast. The tingling sensation returned and suddenly flared into a stinging for a few seconds. Unable to hide his discomfort, he coughed. And coughed quite loudly. Playing it off as a small choking fit from his food, he drank the orange juice next to him.

“You okay?” asked Patton.

“Yes, I just choked a bit-“ he coughed again.

“...Are you sure?” The moral side continued. “Do you need more orange juice?”

As if that we’re the figurative magic words, the coughing ceased. “I’m fine, thank you.”

Then a thought had hit him. “What were you guys planning to do today? In your spare time, I mean.”

“Remus and I were planning to take you all on a tour of the new and improved imagination!” Logan’s chest tightened and he briefly became upset. The emotion flickered only for a second but enough to signal his near to happen deafening screech.

“Oh that sounds like a fun idea!” Patton cheered.

“No! I- I mean no, we can’t,” Logan sputtered. The twins stared at him as if he just killed a man. “I love the idea, I do. It sounds nice, but uh, we just can’t. I’m sure there’s other activities we can do.”

Janus merely squinted at the logical facet. “The twins have been working on this for months now, why do you want to cancel it?”

“I can’t explain right now, I’m just taking precautions.” The others stared at him. “I’m sorry.”

“Well we didn’t say you had to go if that’s the problem,” added Virgil. Logan’s throat flared once more and he coughed awkwardly.

“That isn’t it, maybe you should both spend a few more days working on it. Fix up the final details and make sure it’s safe.”

“Alright….?” The twins responded in unison.

“Good, I’ll be heading off to my study to work. If you need me, just call.” He gathered his notebooks and other belongings and sunk out.

“I- Okay then,” said Patton.

“He’s acting weird,” Remus said plainly with a pout on his face.

“Yes, I suppose so. I certainly haven’t been here long but this isn’t his usual behavior, correct?” Janus glanced at Patton who was still staring at Logan’s empty seat. The father figure looked away and began to gather the used dishes.

“Well,” he began. “If Logan believes it’s not safe, it may not be. It’s good to take precautions.”

“Pfft, he’s such a prude. A small dog would probably seem threatening to him,” Roman commented. “What if we take Virgil there or something?”

“Excuse me?” The anxious side glared at them. “I’m with Logan, dude. I’m literally anxiety. If even he thinks something may be dangerous, I’ve already got a list of stuff that could probably kill us.”

“Come on! I promise it’s safe! I bet you a whole week of peace and quiet that it is.”

Janus couldn’t help but to snort at the offer and he made a face as if he was considering it. “I don’t know, Virgil. He’s betting his sanity to show you that it’s not harmful.”

Roman rolled his eyes but glanced at Virgil. Virgil eyed him with a playful squint. Dramatically turning off his phone and removing his earbuds he made his decision. “Fine,” he said. “But one wrong move and we’re out of there ASAP.”

“Prince’s promise.”

With that, Roman snapped his fingers and he, Remus, and Virgil disappeared from the room.

“Janus, do you mind giving me a gloved hand for all of these dishes?”

Four extra arms appeared on Janus’s sides. “Of course.”

—

Scratching, scratching, and more continuous scratching. An undone tie and hardly finished budget plans. Logan felt miserable. Generally and mentally. He simply felt awful.

He’d only been working for about two hours. Something was going to happen. But bit down on the straw of his water bottle to suffocate an upcoming scream.

His throat was burning. As weird as it sounded, he simply felt as if he was going to cry. He was already mourning a dead trait before the event had even happened yet.

Logan decided to pull up some images of the others’ current activities. Patton was baking and keeping an eye on Thomas once in a while. Logan warmed a bit at Janus walking into the scene to steal a kiss from the moral facet. He pulled up the twins and his eyes widened.

Look, nothing stopped the idea that Janus or Patton could be harmed in the kitchen but the Imagination had creatures roaming that could kill in two seconds as well. Surprisingly, Virgil was there as well. Virgil would’ve stayed behind due to his anxiety and Logan’s throat tightened at Virgil’s image. He became deeply saddened simply by looking at the anxious side.

Scream, just scream. It’s him. It’s Virgil.

Logan made the image disappear and took a deep breath. He shuddered at the thought of Virgil ever dying and coughed the edge of his desk until his knuckles were white. His posture wilted at the images of the monsters that he’d come in contact with. He swallowed and he felt as if he drank a cup of magma.

“No, no, no, no, no-“ he stood from his desk. “I have to save him-“ he sunk out and reappeared in the Imagination.

“Virgil!” He called. He tried to keep his voice low but loud enough for someone at least fifty feet away to hear him. “Virgil!” His voice cracked. He sunk out again. This time reappearing a few feet away from the trio. He sighed a breath of relief.

“Oh heeeyy, Logan. Didn’t think you’d come in here,” Roman said sheepishly.

“I need to borrow Virgil.”

“Well we’re kind of using him right now. Can it wait?”

“No, no, it really can’t. I need him right- nOW-“ another voice crack and a minor screech.

“Jesus, what’s going on with you?” asked Virgil. “You sound like literal shit and you’ve been acting weird since breakfast.”

“I’m- I’m fine, I need you out of here now.”

“Why what’s wrong? It’s been fine so far-“

A deep thundering roar sounded from the distance, not even a mile away and they all flinched. The group turned their heads to a large dragon towering over a thicket of trees. Before they could react, a ball of fire was thrown into their direction.

“Scatter!”

They spread into opposite directions away from the landing flames. Roman wasn’t fast enough and it caught him by the legs, pulling him harshly away from his initial direction. The other three stared at the now half scorched prince in fear.

“Okay okay I’ll get us ou-!” Remus couldn’t finish his sentence. Another dragon swooped in and flew him away from the others.

“Logan, did you know about this?!”

“No! I just knew that- that uh-“ he stuttered, chest tightening for the hundredth time.

“That what, Logan?!” Virgil dodged one of the fire balls.

“That you’re going to die, Virgil! It’s inevitable!”

“How do you know?!”

Logan then got tackled by Virgil in an attempt to dodge another attack. He swallowed thickly. “I’m a banshee.”

“Wha- AHH-!” The dragon who took Remus swooped down again to rip Virgil away from Logan.

“LOGAN HELP!”

“No- no, no, no- wha- where are Janus and Patton?!” The now sad excuse for a logical side tugged at his hair and watched the dragon ascend up into the clouds. “I- What do I do- I don’t have control here-“ his voice cracked pathetically.

“Roman- Roman day you-“ he looked over to Roman who laid unconscious in the ground, a small stream of blood dripping from his forehead.

“They’re gone- they’re dead- I can’t save them-“ He whimpered and the grief kept building and building. Roman was hurt and not only Virgil, but Remus would be ripped apart by the clutches of the dragon.

So he began screaming.

A spine curdling wretched screech ripped its way out of his chest. He shrieked and a dense sadness surrounded him. He howled and hollered, not even taking a breath between the full minute of continuous screaming.

He cried, he cried out in volumes that shook the ground until it cracked under his feet. Animals ran away and so did the dragons. The first dragon flew away in terror of the sound escaping Logan’s throat. Rocks broke and he felt sorry for the prince laying not hardly ten feet away from him.

That he had to listen to the sound of a creature's pent up grief. His sadness, his desperation, his mourning, all let out to the sky in a way that would never let him be seen as human again.

Higher and higher in pitch it ascended until he stopped. The cries faded into sorrowful sobs and he was broken between coughing and heaving and simply just falling to the ground. Like him, the dragon in the clouds holding Remus and Virgil fell to the earth, limp. The screams of the boys could be heard from miles in the sky and they dissipated with the rumbling crash of the dragon.

Logan didn’t know what to do. He needed help.

“P-Pat-“ he croaked. He grimaced at the searing pain in his throat. “Patton, I- I need help- I need Janus-“

The words barely left his tongue before he heard a pair of gasps above him.

“Oh my….Logan, honey what happened….” the father figure was immediately led to tears before he could process the scene around him. While doing so, Janus stepped back away from the pair. He studied the cracks in the ground circling Logan, the logical facet being their obvious cause.

“Logan, what happened here? Where’s Virgil and the twins?”

Logan weakly pointed towards Roman on the ground to his left. “R-Roman.” He posted behind Janus at the unconscious dragon. “They- they’re-“ he muttered hoarsely.

“It’s alright, I’m going to go help them. I’ll be back.” Janus summoned his cane and sunk out, reappearing by the dragon. “Virgil? Remus? Are you both alright?”

He made his way around to the front of the dragon where the boys laid limp in the talons of the dragon. Remus seemed mostly fine other than unconsciousness, a few lacerations here and there. Virgil on the other hand…..Virgil brought him to his knees.

“Virgil….Virgil no….” he moved forward to the anxious side quickly, bloody and a talon sticking into his stomach pooling with the red liquid. Janus cupped his face. “Virgil please wake up.” He traced his fingers over Virgil's neck, not finding any signs of life. His eyes watered and a few tears slipped down his cheeks. He ducked his head into Virgil’s chest. “You're an idiot, you know that?” He chuckled meekly. “I’m so sorry I wasn’t here to help you.”

As if on cue, a small glowing purple orb pulled itself out of the side’s chest. “It’s okay, I’ll find you another one. Sleep well, darling.” He shakily pressed a kiss to the top of Virgil’s forehead, pulling away slowly.

Remus stirred a bit, groaning. Janus turned his attention to him. “At least I still have you.” He pulled Remus from the talons and slung him over his shoulder.

“Wh...wht’s….where’s Virgil…..” muttered the Duke.

“In a better place.”

“Oh…” and again, he was out, pressing all of his weight into Janus. They sunk out and came back to Patton, Logan, and Roman.

Roman and Patton stared in shock when Virgil wasn’t with Janus or Remus.

“He….he’s…” Janus nodded and Patton welled up with more tears.

“What happened, Logan.” Logan flinched at the stern tone coming from Janus.

“I-“ he sighed. At this point he may as well tell them. “I’m a banshee.”

Janus’s eyes widened. “You knew Virgil was going to...How long have you been like this?”

“Ever since I was created.”

“That’s why the ground looks like this, isn’t it. Because you were screaming.”

Logan ducked his head and nodded.

“Well, we need to find him another vessel, I can’t put it any other way than that. There’s not much to help with Logan being a banshee and we can’t postpone the inevitable.” Proving his point he pulled a hard with the purple orb floating around in it.

“Yeah...yeah let’s do that,” Logan agreed.

It takes a while for any of them to explain what happened to Thomas. He’ll have to reintroduce himself to Virgil and accept him once more. Re-establish a new relationship again.

And start over.

[what-is-your-plan-today]

Stark Spangled Banner Ch 58:You Have To Go Through The Worst To Get To The Best

Intro The Time Heist worked, but at a cost. Natasha gave her life for the Soul Stone. Following a promise to make her sacrifice worth something, the Avengers continued their plan and succeeded in reversing the Snap. But along with everyone else, the biggest threat the Avengers have ever faced re-appeared. 

Thanos.

Now Steve and Katie, along with the rest of their team are locked in a fearsome battle, between light and dark, life and death. Simply put, it’s a battle which they cannot afford to lose because they’re in the Endgame now…

Warnings: “Language!” 

Pairing: Steve Rogers x OFC Katie Stark

Stark Spangled Banner Masterlist

 Sorry for your loss.

4 words that Katie was already sick of hearing. Sorry. I mean...what did people have to be sorry for? It wasn’t like it was their fault. Still, she acknowledged the sympathies that came her way, completely automatically, almost emotionlessly. She barely registered the fact she had spoken to Fury and Hill, two people who had been dead 5 years ago, she didn’t have the energy to wish she could knock Ross’ head off his shoulders and had no idea how long she had walked what was left of the compound...maybe an hour or so? Who cared anyway? She simply did what people asked her to do to help out, whilst Steve hurried around organising everyone and barking orders. 

Nevertheless, when the crowds of Emergency Services, Armed Forces and Support Staff that had flooded the Compound left, she suddenly felt alone and found herself  in their compound apartment, sat on the bed, staring at the wall. Just staring. It was quiet, but her mind was anything but. Her brain was screaming all sorts at her, but she couldn’t really understand any of it. She simply felt broken.

“Katie…”

She looked up to see Steve in the doorway.

“Hey.” she gave him a soft smile. “Pepper just spoke to Happy…the kids are fine. All 3 fast asleep. He’s going to wake them in a few hours and bring them back.” “No.” Katie shook her head “I want him to bring them now.” “Honey its almost 4 am.” he said, and she frowned. Ok, so she’d been walking around a little longer than she thought, then. “Let them sleep. We can go, get cleaned up and…” “Plan how we tell them their Uncle is dead.” she said softly, gazing back down at her hands.

Steve took a shaky breath. He felt beyond guilty. Guilty that he got to go home to his kids because of the fact that Tony wouldn’t. Steeling himself, he made his way to the bed, sat down next to his wife and wrapped his arm around her as she lay her head on his shoulder.

“What’s everyone doing?” she asked softly.

“Rhodey is in with Ross and President Ellis…” “Ellis is here?” she frowned.

Steve nodded “Rhodey’s giving him a brief on what’s happened. They’re gonna need to put an announcement out so…”

“Suppose it was probably a shock everyone re-appearing again.” she said quietly.  “What about everyone else?”

“Well Lang, Parker and Bruce already left.” he said as his hand gently rubbed up and down her arm. “And there’s a chopper on the way to take Pepper home and a couple more following to take the rest of us to the Tower. The roads are completely jammed, apparently there’s impromptu parties taking place all over. Might be a while before we can get back through to Brooklyn.” The thought of partying seemed alien to Katie, but as she thought about it, it wasn’t surprising. People would be greeting lost loved ones, celebrating the fact the world has returned to normal.

For them anyway.

“Clint will want to go home...” Katie nodded “He’ll be desperate to see Laura and the kids.” “We’ve got a jet on the way for him so he can go as soon as possible.”

If ever Katie was grateful for having a husband with Military organisational skills it was now. He’d literally thought of everything. She closed her eyes and nuzzled into him even more, seeking out comfort like a child, as they sat in silence until they were ready to leave.

****

“I guess this is strange for you too, huh?” Steve said as they made their way into the Tower, Bucky and Sam each carrying one of the bags of stuff they’d brought with them from the Compound, Steve the other. “Yeah you could say that.” Sam shrugged “one minute everyone was in Wakanda and then the next minute it was just us, and the jungle had changed and then that Strange dude turns up and tells us it’s been 5 years and we needed to go fight one last time…”

“Has it really been 5 years?” Bucky asked.

Katie nodded

“So now you’re older than me Stevie…” he grinned.

Steve chuckled a Katie gave a small smile. “Shut up.”

They made their way into the elevator and FRIDAY greeted them, somewhat forlornly, as Katie asked for their floor. The elevator fell silent as it scooted upwards, pinging open. Katie stepped out first, followed by Wanda then the men.

“Where do you want-“ Bucky began but he stopped dead, Sam bumping into him.

“What the hell Frosty?” he said, frowning as he followed Bucky’s eye line, his eyes growing wide. Wanda was also gazing, mouth open, and Steve immediately knew what they were looking at- the large framed photo on the wall in the living room.

Even though their home was in Brooklyn this was still very much their apartment. Katie sometimes stayed if she had a big meeting, or on occasions they would crash here when they grabbed a rare night out in Manhattan.  And it was for that reason that the photos in the apartment had been updated as their lives had moved on. The wall their friends were gazing at contained two photos. The first was one taken by Katie at the hospital when Jamie was hours old, the same photo also adorned the wall in the lounge at home. It showed Steve asleep in the chair by her hospital bed, hair unkempt and he was unshaven with his baby son clutched to his chest as they both slept. He remembered the moment like it was yesterday, one snapshot moment out of God knows how many, all of which the 3 people stood in front of him had missed.  The second showed a younger Emmy with her then 6 month old brother, both grinning at the camera as they sat on the sofa at home.

“You….”  Sam gasped as Wanda and Bucky turned to them, mouth hanging open.

Steve nodded “Yeh, err, did no one tell you?” he asked, rubbing his neck.

“No.” Bucky breathed.

“But then it never really cropped up in conversation whilst we were fighting Thanos…” Sam said, a little sarcastically and Wanda thumped his arm.

“How old…” she asked.

“Emily is 16 this year.” Katie said, looking at the photos smiling softly  “We adopted her after the snap…long story.”

She looked at Steve who smiled, knowing she was allowing him the task of revealing their boys names to two of the men he was named after.

“And Jamie’s 3.”  he said, looking at Bucky.

“Jamie?” Bucky asked thickly.

“Or to give him his full name James.” Steve said, nodding at Bucky who swallowed as he looked back at his best friend. “Anthony-“ then Steve turned to Sam “Samuel.”

Bucky and Sam exchanged a look, the pair of them floundering for words.

“Cap…” Sam swallowed, his eyes misting over “Wow, I’m so happy for you guys.” “I can’t wait to meet them.” Wanda beamed.

“You might regret saying that.” Steve chuckled “He can be a handful. Stubborn, opinionated, won’t back down- don’t even say it.” he pointed at Bucky who had opened his mouth.

“He’s awesome.”  Katie said softly “They both are.”

Her eyes moved round the apartment and fell on a photo of her and Tony taken at her wedding, and suddenly she couldn’t be there anymore. Excusing herself she headed into their bedroom. She shed her boots, cat suit and made her way straight into the en-suite now feeling utterly overwhelmed, and still struggling to make head or tail of her emotions. She should have been celebrating like everyone else in the streets was doing. Their friends and trillions of other people were saved, but she couldn’t because again, just like the other day when they had grieved for Natasha, there was one person who wasn’t coming back. Her brother.

She turned the shower on as hot as she could stand, an attempt to sooth the pain she now felt in every inch of her body. But whilst some of it was bruising from the multiple batterings she had taken, some of it was coming from inside. The pain of losing her brother was physical, and hard. Closing her eyes she lay her head against the tiles, allowing the water to beat down on her, lost in her memories. “I got full marks on my English essay Tone!”  her 10 year old self grinned up at him as he leaned against the car, looking as effortlessly cool as ever.

“Get you, you little brainbox!” he ruffled her hair “That’s awesome, so awesome in fact I think we need to stop for pizza and a shit load of ice cream on the way home…sound good?” “You’re the best!” she beamed as he took her pink back-pack off her and dropped it into the trunk as she climbed into the passenger seat of his BWM.

“Oh no, you are not going out wearing that!” he said, standing up as she walked into the living room of the house.

16 year old Katie rolled her eyes “Tone its boiling hot outside, what you want me to wear? A pair of jeans and a fucking coat?” “Not that!” he scoffed, looking at the rather short denim skirt “Young lady,I can see what you had for breakfast.”

“Oh bite me Tony.” she shot back, hearing the guffaw that Rhodey gave out from the sofa before she shot out of the front door to greet her boyfriend who had just pulled up the drive.

Then she was 18, cruising along the cliff in Malibu, laughing, her hands on the steering wheel of her convertible bug, Tony in the passenger seat sipping an iced tea,  the pair of them singing as loudly as they could to Drops of Jupiter- their song.

“Mr Rock and Roll over there, listen to you!” she laughed as the song finished and it changed to AC/DC Thunder.

“If you ever tell anyone about my love of Train I will kill you.” Tony looked at her over his sunglasses and she snorted, grinning.

“I’m so telling Pepper.”

“Err you know I can still pull my funding.” he glared “You can kiss goodbye to going to Oxford…” And speaking of Oxford, at 21, she was there, accepting her first class honours in English Literature and Mythology. As she smiled for the camera, she could see Tony stood up in the middle of the hall, whistling before he punched the air “That’s my girl!” he yelled “Katie Maria Stark. That’s my girl! No I won’t sit down...what did you just say?...” and he began arguing with the person behind him.

At 26 she was crying, tears of happiness as the ramp on the aircraft carrier opened to reveal her brother. His hair was longer, he looked thinner but he was alive. He was barely at the bottom before she flung herself at him, not caring that his arm was a sling.

“Hey Kiddo.” he said softly as she buried her face into his neck.

“You fucking ass hole!” she sobbed “next time, you ride with Rhodey, you got that?”

“Trust me, there will be no next time.” he chuckled as she pulled back “Afghanistan is a shit hole.”

A year later she was crying again, sobbing even, as Tony sat with his arms around her, gently shushing her as she sat up in her bed “How could he do that to me Tony?” she sniffed, her tears dampening her brother’s t-shirt as he rubbed her back, laying his head against hers. “I thought he loved me…but…” “He isn’t worth your tears kiddo.” he sighed “Grant cunt-face Ward doesn’t deserve them, or you. No one ever will…you got that? No one will ever be good enough for my Kiddo.”

And then she was walking up the aisle towards her future husband, her arm linked tightly around Tony’s. He pressed a kiss to her head.

“Just remember, just because I’m giving you away doesn’t mean I won’t kick his ass if he ever hurts you.” he mumbled and she snorted, turning to look at him. “I love you to the stars and back, Katie, remember that…” Like she could ever forget. Tony hadn’t been everyone’s cup of tea. Hell, at times they’d been completely at odds with one another, siblings estranged for 2 years at one point. But she had never, not once, stopped loving the man who had brought her up as his own. Her brother and father all rolled into one.

She finished washing her hair and stepped out of the shower, the tears still not arriving. She began to wonder if there was something wrong with her. She’d cried more when Natasha died. She pulled on a towel robe that was hanging behind the door and began to dry her hair, squeezing the water out of the long strands.

“I remember when you used to do that for me.” She grinned, watching Tony as he sat with Morgan between his legs on the lounger round the pool at her Brooklyn home, rubbing her wet hair ferociously with a pink beach towel, making the 3 year old cackle with laughter. I remember…but Morgan won’t.

And then the cry ripped from her chest, like someone had reached down her throat and pulled it from the very depths of her heart.

***** Steve made sure the guys were settled in the spare apartment, the three of them opting to share, none of them particularly wanting to be alone.  Making his way back into theirs, he headed straight to the bedroom and heard Katie turn off the water to the shower. With a groan he stripped off the top half of his uniform, dropping the grubby item to the floor and then reached to pull off the compression shirt.

But before he got chance he heard a noise that chilled his every bone. It was a cry. A primal, raw, broken scream. Quick as flash he crossed the room and pushed open the door to the bathroom and found his wife slumped on her knees on the floor, screaming and crying uncontrollably.

“He’s gone…” she screamed “He’s gone, he’s gone…” He’d known this was coming and it broke his heart that he could do nothing to help, nothing to take away the utter desperation and pain and anger she was feeling. Without hesitation he dropped to his knees and she turned to him, fisting her hands around his top as he pulled her close, one arm round her back, the other in her hair.

“Let it out…”his voice was croaky as he rocked her, gently stroking her hair as his cheek pressed against the top of her head. “I got you…I got you…” How long they stayed there for, with Katie screaming and crying over the soft sounds of his soothing, Steve had no idea, but eventually her sobs became sniffles as she regained some form of composure.

“Steve…” she managed to stutter as she pulled back to look at him” He’s gone…he’s gone…” “Oh sweetheart…” his voice cracked, his own heart ached with grief and sympathy and love as he dropped a kiss to her forehead, pulling her onto his lap as he settled on the floor, making no attempts to move her. He buried his face into her hair, his own sobs catching in his throat.

Eventually she stopped crying, and she truly thought at that time her body had run out of tears to shed. She pulled back to look up at Steve, his eyes wet as she took a ragged, deep breath.

“All my life Tony has been there…” she said gently as he stroked her cheek with his thumb, brushing away her stray tears, “Even when we were apart those years I knew that if I needed him, he would be there…but now…he’s gone and I don’t know what to do.”

“You do what you always do.” he said gently “You get up, you dust yourself off and you act like the amazing, strong, beautiful woman you are. My wife, my baby momma.”

She gave a watery splutter of a laugh before she buried her face into his t-shirt again, and simply breathed him in. His warmth and familiar smell, even if he wasn’t as fresh as he could be after the exertion of battle, was a comfort, a balm to her broken soul. Tony was gone, she knew that, but she wasn’t on her own. She’d never be on her own as long as she had Steve.

****

“Don’t be sad Momma…” Jamie said, as Katie’s tears tickled down her cheeks, her son on her lap, Emmy sat on her father’s, despite her age meaning she was normally way past that stage, as she cried into his chest, his arms gently cradling her. “Uncle Nee isn’t on his own.” “What do you mean baby?” she asked, sniffing as he played with a strand of her hair.

He looked at her with his baby blue eyes and shrugged, as if the answer was obvious “Because he’s with Auntie Nat-Nat.”

“Yeah…” Katie said, a soft sob escaping her “You’re right. But I’m still sad, but you don’t need to be worried about that ok?” He nodded “I can kiss it better” he said, and she smiled as he leaned up connecting his lips to hers with a loud smacking noise.

“All better.” she smiled, wiping her eyes.

“When can we go home?” Emmy asked, sitting up slightly.

“Soon, I promise.” Steve said. “I think we’ll stay here for tonight, your mom and I both need a rest.”

Emmy nodded “I expect kicking alien butt for hours takes it out of you.” Steve snorted. “A little.” “You did it though.” She said softly “Everyone came back.” “Yeah, and on that note…” Katie picked up, “We have some people we’d like you to meet. That’s if you’re feeling up to it.” “Is it them? Bucky, Sam and Wanda?” Emmy asked, her wet brown eyes opening wide.

“Yeah.” Steve smiled “If it’s ok with you, we thought we could all have breakfast together…”

“Pancakes?” Jamie asked hopefully and Katie nodded, dropping a kiss to his head.

“Pancakes” she affirmed.

“Now?”

“Do you ever think about anything but this?” Katie chuckled, prodding his tummy. He pondered for a second.

“legos.” he said, nodding “I think about my legos sometime.”

Emmy snorted and Steve let out a laugh “Pancakes and legos eh son?” he reached out and ruffled Jamie’s hair “Sounds like a perfect combination.”

A short while later Steve, armed with a selection of his clothes and Katie’s for the 3 adults headed down to fetch them, whilst Katie started to make breakfast. Pepper, as caring and thoughtful as ever had sent Happy back with a selection of food knowing that Manhattan was in utter chaos and going out in public was the last thing Steve or Katie wanted for fear of being mobbed. That, combined with the stash they had in the kitchen meant it was easy for Katie to whip up a batch of batter and throw some bacon in the pan.

She set Emmy to work chopping fruit, and never one to miss out, she stood Jamie on a chair in front of her and gently guided his hand as he held the whisk to stir the batter.  Katie was literally grabbing the ladle to drop the first load into the pan, the door to the apartment opened and Steve’s voice carried in to the kitchen.

“Hey guys…” Jamie squealed in excitement and Katie moved so he could get down. He shot out of the kitchen, barrelling into the lounge where he skidded to a halt by his dad and gazed up at the 3 strange adults in front of him.

The first thing that hit Bucky was just how like post-serum Steve the little boy was. Stocky, bright blue eyes and a shock of dark blonde hair. But his nose, his nose was distinctly like his mother’s.

“He looks like you.” he said, nodding to Steve.

Katie stepped into the room with Emmy and smiled.

“Jamie, Emmy….this is Bucky, Sam and Wanda.” Emmy raised her hand shyly “Nice to meet you all.”

Meanwhile, Jamie simply gazed up at Bucky, his attention focussed directly on his metal arm and Bucky suddenly began to worry that it would scare him. That was until Jamie stepped forward with all his usual boldness and pointed.

“Is that metal?” “Jamie…” Steve said, his tone soft. He couldn’t scald his son for being curious, but at the same time he had seen the apprehension in Bucky’s eyes. Apprehension that had now turned to amusement.

“Yeah it is.” He said, crouching down so he was eye level with his namesake. He held his left hand up, wiggling the fingers “Wanna touch it?” Jamie reached out and placed his palm against Bucky’s prosthetic and grinned, looking up.

“Dad…that’s really cool. Can I have one?”

“Absolutely not.” Steve shook his head with a grin.

“You think that’s cool you should see my wings.” Sam said, crouching next to Bucky.

“You have wings?” Jamie’s eyes grew wide “I want…”

“No!” Katie said with a snort.

“Fine I’ll just ask Santa.” Jamie shruggged and Sam let out a loud laugh.

“I like this kid!” he grinned, standing up.

“You can have him…” Katie winked, as Bucky stood up straight and grinned “Saves me sending him to Kiddie Prison.” “Morgan told me there’s no such place.” Jamie looked at his mother, and Steve let out a sigh. The threat of Kiddie Prison was their biggest bargaining chip when he was being naughty. Especially as the naughty step wasn’t an option, because the first (and last) time they tried that they caught him climbing up the staircase and sliding down the bannister nearly giving the pair of them a heart attack.

“I told you short stuff, it does.” Emmy said, with a roll of her eyes “I lived there before mom and dad adopted me. And all they give you to eat all day is slugs and slime…” Steve shared a look with Bucky and let out a loud laugh.

“Don’t…” Bucky shook his head with a grin.

“You gave Becca nightmares for days with that story!” Steve laughed as he recalled Bucky telling his sister about a hole in the ground where bad kids went “She wouldn’t go near a manhole for months!”

“I can still feel the blow round the ears my Pa gave me…” Bucky said, reaching up to rub at the back of his head. The chatter continued as they made their way into the kitchen. Steve went to brew the coffee as Sam, Wanda and Bucky took seats round the table with the kids, chatting away. Occasionally he caught the odd snippet as Jamie told Bucky about his toys at home, Sam all about his friend at nursery, whilst Emmy was chatting to Wanda about school and what she wanted to do in the future. But all the time the soldier had one eye on his wife as she stood, silently, cooking enough pancakes to feed a small army. Which, to be fair, was probably what they would need with 2 super soldiers and a hungry 3 year old to feed. He slipped his arms around her waist.

“You ok?” he asked, before he sighed “Sorry, stupid question.”

She chuckled and shook her head “No it’s not stupid. And no, I’m not. Not really. But I will be, in time. I hope.”

Steve dropped a kiss to her cheek and winced as a loud “GET A ROOM!” sounded across the kitchen and he turned to glare at his son, Bucky and Sam exchanging gleeful looks with one another. Steve raised his hand and pointed at Emmy accusingly. “That was not me!” she said, indignantly “It was Bucky that told him to say it…” “If this is the impression you have on my kids after all of 15 minutes James Buchanan Barnes then I’m going to have to seriously consider letting you near them again.” Katie said as she dropped the plate of pancakes into the middle of the table.

“Why did you just call him James?” Jamie asked, frowning

“Because my name is James too.” Bucky answered for Katie.

“No, it’s Bucky.” Jamie frowned.

“He only gets called James when he’s been bad, bit like you pal.” Steve chuckled, placing Jamie’s plate of food in front of him “Now eat that, and then you can show Buck your lego.”

“My legos are here?” Jamie said, grinning.

“Yeah they’re in your bag.” he dropped a kiss to his son’s head.

“What the hell is a Lego?” Bucky asked. The room feel silent as all eyes turned to the man who glanced around, suddenly feeling very self conscious.  “What?” ****

“I know there is much speculation surrounding the events of the last 24 hours, and it is for that reason I find myself addressing you all once more, with regards to the Decimation…only this time I am happy to greet you all with much better news. Thanks to the brave actions of the Avengers and countless others who fought in a ferocious battle Upstate, the Vanished have been returned to us in the same state in which they left. But it isn’t without cost. Unfortunately, I do bring some sad news amongst the happy, as I can confirm the rumours are true. Tony Stark and Natasha Romanoff both lost their lives in the mission to bring everyone back. My sincere condolences and thoughts are with the rest of the Avengers, in particular the Rogers and Stark families, and I’m sure I speak for the entire world when I say we will be forever indebted to the two fallen heroes for their brave sacrifices which ensured that friends and families across the globe could be reunited. To allow you all some time with those who have been returned to you, I’m declaring today and tomorrow a national holiday. So be with your loved ones. And now I speak to those who have been returned to us. For the past 5 years the world has become a very different place to the one you knew. Please be patient with us whilst we try to make sense of the fact you have all been returned to us and don’t be too hard on us if we seem a little, well, astounded. Thank you all, God Bless America, and God Bless the Avengers.”

President Ellis’ address rang out across the nation at 3pm that afternoon. On every TV and Radio channel there was. Rhodey had popped by to give them a heads up, and also inform Katie that they were talking about honouring both Tony and Natasha posthumously. Katie had merely shrugged, not entirely sure what Tony would have said about any of that, until Rhodey made her laugh about the last time he had received an honour, getting stabbed with the pin by the Senator awarding it to him. Senator Stern. Who had turned out to be Hydra.

That night fireworks exploded across the skies of Manhattan. The current occupants of the tower sat on the roof watching the symphony of colours and explosions as it light up the sky-line, Jamie opting to sit on Bucky’s knee instead of his father’s, because of course Bucky was now his favourite person on the planet. But Steve didn’t mind, well, not too much anyway.

The next few days passed them by in a bit of a blur. They moved back to the house in Brooklyn. Sam and Bucky came with them but, surprisingly to Steve (but not to Katie) Wanda opted to head to Clint’s after the archer called and offered her a room. Steve’s time was divided between speaking to the UN, various people in the senate and government along with Rhodey as they stared to make plans to help those people who had returned and found themselves in tricky situations. Some found their wives or husbands had re-married, others found themselves homeless as new occupants had moved into their flats post them being vacant in the past 5 years. Two of those people were Peter Parker and his Aunt May, who were now residing in the Tower until Katie could find them an apartment. And then there were the kids who had been adopted suddenly found themselves with two sets of parents, although Emmy’s foster family never came looking for her. And it was a good job, as they would have been met not only by her parents but a former deadly assassin and an ex Para Rescuer ready to kick the shit out of them having learned from Steve and Katie one evening about the girl’s past.

No, reversing the snap had swung up a whole cacophony of different problems, but for the time being Katie had no time or energy for anything other than planning Tony’s funeral with Pepper, and a service of sorts for Natasha with Clint. Natasha’s was to take place first, a small ceremony at Clint’s farm where they would be planting a red maple tree in her honour. Tony’s was slightly more tricky. The Billionaire had led a very public lifestyle and naturally (even if unfairly) was attracting the most public interest. They’d been approached by President Ellis, who had asked if they would be open to the service being shown on larger, outside Televisions across Manhattan to avoid public crowding the area. Katie had been horrified at first, until Pepper had snorted and reminded her that the Old Tony would have loved the attention and fuss. But New Tony wouldn’t. Which was why they compromised and chose to celebrate the two sides to Tony’s huge personality. For the Genius, Billionaire, Play-Boy, Philanthropist they would hold a service at St Patrick’s Cathedral and for the husband, father, brother, friend they would then hold a more intimate wake at the house. Pepper was also going to plant a tree by the lake house, where his ashes would be scattered eventually. And there was also the matter of his will to go through as well, but they decided that could wait.

It was draining, emotionally and physically, so it was no surprise that Katie was constantly tired and a little irritable, Steve feeling the harsh side of her tongue on more than one occasion. But he never bit back, he knew how she was feeling. He’d had to do it with his Ma. Instead he listened to her bounce ideas off him, helped with the organisation, and simply comforted her when she needed it.

On the 6th day post the return of the Vanished, things on the surface had returned to some kind of normal. Almost a half-way-house between what it had been like before the Snap and what they had become post the Snap. But what was noticeable to all of them was that they were persistently mobbed in the street, people wanting to thank them constantly. Jamie found the whole thing hilarious, waving to people as he walked with his Father one morning to the play-ground. Steve, however, after half an hour had returned home because he couldn’t stand it anymore.

“It’s mad.” he said with a sigh, flopping onto the sofa “I mean…”

“It’ll die down.” Katie yawned, “Just take a while.” “You still feeling crappy?” he asked, watching as Jamie sat on the rug with his trucks.

“A little.” she said

“You thrown up again?” “No” she shook her head “I don’t feel sick anymore just drained. I don’t think it’s anything serious. Probably just the stress of all the organising and stuff.”

But as she said the words something in her mind clicked.

Tiredness. Sickness. Haywire emotions.

“Shit…” she whispered, sitting bolt upright and he looked at her. “Bruce’s Snap…”

“What about it?”

“What if it brought everyone back?” “Well we know it did…” he said, not following her line of thought.

“No I mean…” she took his hand and placed it on her stomach “everyone…”

It took him a second to cotton on, and he blinked, looking into his wife’s wide eyes.

“Shit…” he stuttered.

“Language.” Jamie said, almost immediately, but both parents ignored him.

“I didn’t…” Steve swallowed “I mean, I didn’t even consider that a possibility…do you think…”

Katie took a deep breath “I dunno, I mean the first snap took it away…”

They stayed still for a moment, simply looking at each other, both thinking the same. If one snap had taken their baby, the second snap could quite as easily have brought it back.

“I think I need to go to the store.” Katie muttered. Less than an hour later husband and wife were stood in the bathroom looking down. Down at four different tests. Four different tests that all told them the same thing.

“I can’t believe it…” Steve whispered, looking at his wife as she glanced up at him, tears in her eyes.

“Me neither…” she whispered.

“I’m gonna be a daddy…again.” he reached out to Katie, his eyes shining as she gave him a smile.

“And I’m gonna be fat again.” There was a pause before Steve’s face cracked into a huge grin and he pulled her to him. She wrapped her arms round his neck and he hugged her close, the pair of them laughing through their tears.

“I like you fat with my kid.” he said, pulling away and wiping the tears that were trickling down her face with his thumbs. She smiled and returned the gesture, brushing the back of her hand over his wet cheeks.

“I love you. So fucking much, my baby momma.” he said softly as he dropped a kiss to her lips and she whispered into his mouth

“I love you too, my baby daddy.”

And for the first time in days, Katie’s heart felt a little less broken. Tags

@the-omni-princess  @momobaby227 @geekofmanythings16 @angelofhell-666 @thewackywriter @marvelfansworld   @cobalt-gear  @asgardlover75 @jennmurawski13   @jtargaryen18 @saiyanprincessswanie   @navispalace @patzammit   @joannaliceevans-fanficblog   @icanfeelastormbrewing @djeniiscorner   @ayamenimthiriel​   @coldmuffinbanditshoe​   @disneylovingal​ @madzmilllz​   @sgtjaamesbaarnes​

[thewrongexecution]

thinkin’ ‘bout final fantasy

I go by Not The Author for exactly the reason that I ain’t no expert on any given work of fiction, but I do like to make connections what make me seem smart: an illusion, haphazardly crafted by incident accident and supplemented by precocious pretentiousness. All the same, here are some fun thoughts I had that you might also enjoy!

I do have a point, that I do get to. I feel like I should say that ahead of time, all things considered. Like, I can appreciate if you can’t appreciate a shaggy dog story? But there is a point to all this.

...Eventually.

Spoiler Warning:

Final Fantasies 1, 6, 7, 7R, 13 and 15

Content Warning:

Discussion of death

Cussin’

Length warning:

5621 words

13 sections

16 digressions

Let’s dig in.

- - - - -

Final Fantasy 1 was not my first Final Fantasy experience, but I think it was the first I ever played by myself? The remaster for the GBA, came bundled with FF2 on the same cart, which I played briefly but did not complete and do not remember, except that it had Cid.

FF1 doesn’t have a Cid, but I really loved the narrative anyway, straightforward as it was, because it was very specifically about spitting in the face of an uncaring god who would doom the world for a laugh. Take these chains that bind us to darkness and, though we be forgot to history, strangle with them that selfsame darkness to bring an end to its tyranny.

((it is a terrible curse, to love time travel. so many grand expectations, so few ever met. play ghost trick, chrono trigger, radiant historia, majora’s mask, outer wilds. have you any recs yourself, lemme know! I digress.

((I digress a lot, as I may have mentioned. they’ll be noted in parenthetical, like this.))

This is the foundation upon which Final Fantasy is built, and while any student of architecture could tell you of many and varied perfectly valid construction techniques, it resonates. Grappling with an immutable past to course-correct an uncaring future is, too, an apt description of personal growth; a theme as universal as being alive. And I, as an impressionable youth, ate that shit up.

((I assume I was young, at any rate. my love for time travel, be it era-spanning or moment-stretching, is, I suspect, not entirely coincidental to my terrible temporal memory.))

And that was the tale of the studio, too. Final Fantasy was so titled because, the story goes, the developers knew they would shutter if it didn’t make bank. Staring your imminent demise in the face, knowing your fate is doom, and giving it your all, all the same.

And then they made another twelve, plus two-and-a-half MMOs, and god knows how many mobile games and spin-offs, and now the Fantasy is that there could ever be a Final one. so say I: life parodies art.

((the half-an-MMO is FF14 1.0, which no longer exists and is a fascinating tale, a rally against bleak futures all its own. I’ll [link] Noclip’s three-part documentary covering the developer’s side of things, because that’s the one I’ve seen. there’s plenty other material to hunt down, though, if you wanna.))

- - - - -

Final Fantasy VII is a game about fate, too. Particularly Death, that most ultimate of fates. Tragic, to be sure; preventable, or at least delayable, in many cases; necessary, at times, for the growth of something new.

Unrelenting. Unstoppable. Inescapable.

Death, and the fights against it, take many forms. There are the fascist death squads that hunt down your ragtag band and any dissent against their cruel masters, but these will only truly stop by cutting off the hydra’s head and building an entirely new society; eight dudes and their dog, faced with a corporate private military, can survive but never win. There are such disasters as do slay that hydra, be they natural or man-made. There’s the space alien and the apocalypse it ushers. There’s literal illness and injury, physical or otherwise. There are the deaths of loved ones, friends and family, that lead to some subtler deaths within those that survive them. The deaths of relationships, by neglect or abandonment. The ideological deaths we inflict on ourselves, accepting ever-growing lesser evils in the name of some impossible ideal.

Every day, the person we were becomes the person we are, and soon, the person we are will give way to someone new, and this, too, is a sort of death. In this sense, we tally Cloud’s deaths at least five: failure to become a Soldier and rebirth in shame, the massacre of Nibelheim and rebirth in grief, arrival at Midgar and rebirth in delusion, his cratering at the Crater and rebirth in nihilism, and his death and rebirth in the Lifestream of Mideel.

((you could prolly hunt down another two if you wanna be cheeky, but I lack the knowledge, motive and patience. frankly, this whole thing is to create a leading line of logic and probably isn’t, uh. academically ethical? or whatever the term is. I’m not necessarily wrong, but I’m definitely scuttling nuance. oh well!))

Now, I say “rebirth,” because that’s how deaths of identity more-or-less work. There’s usually some new identity waiting in the wings to take over. And rebirth is itself a notable theme, inasmuch as it is one outcome of death. But death is oft more final than that, and what people do in its imminence and wake is key here, too. Wutai’s collapse into an insular tourist trap. Avalanche’s vengeful fervor, in general and post-plate drop. Bugenhagen trying to pass his knowledge on to Red. The whole party’s ongoing post-traumatic depressive episodes.

Ultimately, death is the inescapable fate of all things. It’s what we do, in light of that, that makes us who we are.

- - - - -

Final Fantasies 13 and 15 are the only modern Final Fantasies I’ve beaten, and I bring them up because both deal very prominently with fate and death, and as Square’s most recent mainline FF titles, Remake can’t exist without comparison to them. Here’s what I remember:

Final Fantasy 13 was a game I enjoyed. The stagger system mixed up my casual FF tradition of Get The Big Numbers by putting a prominent UI element onscreen that says You Can’t Get The Big Numbers Unless The Bar Is Full. Suddenly there’s a natural-but-enforced ebb and flow to combat built in, where you gotta juggle chip damage, survival, and crowd control while keeping resources enough to burst down a staggered foe, but maintain situational awareness to swap back into survival mode if you’re not gonna down your enemy, all in something close to real-time. Very obviously a direct precursor to the combat of Remake. I didn’t realize the depth of it, but it was still super fun.

People at the time didn’t like the linearity of the game and, I can see that in retrospect? I think it’s closer to, there weren’t breakpoints, there wasn’t variety. It was cutscenes, combat, and the stretches of land between them; the only real thing for the brain to get a workout on was the combat, and eating only one kinda food is gonna make that food taste bland.

((I didn’t mind, but I like idle games, and, also probably had depression around then. Take that how you will.))

The story, though, I loved. You got your uncaring gods forcing mortals to do their increasingly-impossible bidding, cursing them to agonized unlife if they take too long, and with blissful, beautiful death if they succeed. It sucks! And here you have a ragtag band of incidental idiots trying to rebel against a system that, actually, wants them to? Like that’s the plan? Have mortals kill god and summon the devil to destroy all life, because god, doesn’t.... like life anymore?

((The lore gets more than a little impenetrable, and I remember bouncing off it a couple times. The throughline of God Sucks And Makes Zombies was good though.))

The biblical parallels are obvious, and if they weren’t, the final boss’ design will clue you in, god that’s a good design. hang on I can add pictures and already tossed a spoiler warning, here, look at this:

(per the Final Fantasy Fandom Wiki [X])

That’s literally The Holy Trinity But A Sword The Size Of A Building. It’s perfect.

Anyway, I love this game, because the heroes win, which is what God wants, so in winning, they lose, as was fated to be, right? Fuck All That, say the lesbians from space australia, as they turn into satan and, as satan, stop God’s shitty metal moon from crashing into space australia and destroying all life.

((this awakened something in me, though, as is becoming a theme, I wasn’t aware of it at the time. actually hold up I’m gonna rewatch that sequence.

((yeah okay wow on review that was aggressively cheesy and had a whole bunch of weird emotional whiplash that just leaves a super-bad aftertaste. I don’t really like it as an experience, but big bazonga lesbian satan with arms for hair is still a look-and-a-half.))

The whole thing is not entirely unlike if meteor was also Midgar, and there’s more than a few points where I went, hang on, are they trying to evoke 7 here? “Lightning” is ex-military and bad at emotions, Sazh is a black dad w/ guns and emotional trauma and I love him, quirky pink healer girl who might be an alien is here, the game starts on a train and leads into a robot bug fight; obviously it’s not one-to-one but the connections are there for a brain like mine to make, and only more prominent for the fact that FF7 was the more satisfying game.

((I cannot speak to 13-2 or -3; 13-2 was fun up until the enemies were abruptly 30 levels higher than me, more or less a mandate by the game for me to do all the side content, which I was not on-board with. I skipped 13-3 entirely, especially when I learned the whole game is on a timer. did not and do not need that stress in my life.))

- - - - -

But okay, FF13 was “too linear” and wasn’t doing super great. Enter Final Fantasy Versus 13, by which I mean enter Final Fantasy 15 actually, we don’t need any more of this 13 crap. And once again, I enjoyed it! ...Right up until it was bad.

Final Fantasy 15 was not a finished game, and we know this for certain now, because all its DLC was to make it a finished game. At the time, though, there was uncomfortable and inconsistent story pacing, only one playable character, relatively sparse combat mechanics... but it was open-world, and hey, that’s what you wanted, right? open, non-linear environments? I picked it up because, Teleporting Swordsman With a Motorcycle Sword. I am of simple pleasures, and those are they.

Of the little I remember, one point that’s stuck with me is the sequence following the Leviathan fight. See, we’ve been talking about fate and destiny and how Final Fantasy likes to spite them. Here in 15, our main man Noctis doesn’t want the destiny he’s been burdened with, to Become The King and Save The World from the Coming Darkness, or whatever. He’d really rather be doing, anything else? like hanging out with his buddies or actually getting married or, I dunno, grieving the death of his father. Nope! You don’t get to do that. Go find the ghost armaments of your dead ancestors so you can ~saaave the wooorld!~ I would have been in college around then, so, eminently relatable.

Now, on this journey, you meet a guy called Ardyn. He’s the sort of character that was built as an attack on me personally: sleazy, charming, possessing airs of casual familiarity with people he’s never met, kinda helps you out in tight spots, and also, by the way, vizier to the empire that killed your dad and wants you and your friends dead too. But not in the “secret good guy” way, he just likes fucking with you! he’s perfect.

Right up until the Leviathan fight.

See, Lunafreya, your betrothed--

((I’m so mad about this stupid, stupid garbage. I love Lunafreya on principle, but the game doesn’t bother to give her screentime. you only ever hear about her incidentally, which can be cool if you then meet the character and get to compare/contrast what you’ve heard, but the initial release only has her show up for this one chapter, and your party doesn’t really get to interact with her that much.))

Your betrothed is here and she’s some symbol of the peoples’ hope, right? she’s got light magic or something, and can actually commune with the gods. the gods are on your side, but you can’t actually understand a word they say, but she can, and that’s sick as hell. anyway.

You lose the fight against Leviathan, because you’re a shitty emo teen who doesn’t know how to use your ghost swords, and she got beat up earlier when Levi got all pissy at being summoned. And then Ardyn shows up in his magitek dropship.

Now earlier, Ardyn had Luna as his captive, completely at his mercy, and right now, he who would be king of kings, destined to save the world from darkness, is clutching at rock in a hurricane, beaten, wounded and dying.

Of the two, which do you think he stabs to death?

if you thought, “the protagonist, which will allow him to win, and subvert Final Fantasy’s themes of defying fate by having the villain be the one to do it, forcing everyone else to scramble for some alternate solution and deal with the fallout,” congratulations! You win disappointment, because that idea’s cool as hell and they didn’t. fucking. Do it.

((Ardyn, before this, had given me major Kefka vibes, and thinking on it now, the world descending into darkness in the 15 we never had could have played with even deeper parallels to FF6... but I never played 6, and that FF15 doesn’t exist, so... I’ll leave that analysis to better scholars.))

now, with the benefit of hindsight, that was never going to happen. too long in development hell, game had to ship, had no time or budget for mid-game upheaval. but at the time? made me lose any interest I had in Ardyn, made me mad at the developers for passing up on fulfilling the themes their series had explored in past, made me almost stop playing the game. I’m still mad about it for crying out loud!

((thinking about it gets me tensed up, coiled, with that sort of full-body thrum that’s best conveyed with letters that jitter around. best I can do here is bold italics, but it doesn’t have the right energy. it’s a fleeting feeling, but when it’s here? god. given the men that wrote this scene I would fight all of them and win.

((inhale...

((exhale...

((and move on.))

We, the player, never really meet Luna, so there’s no real... impact, no substance to it. It’s sad, but impersonal. villain kills damsel to inflict manpain on hero. that’s it. we’ve seen this song and dance before.

But kill Noctis? The character the player’s been controlling all this time, who they know intimately? Now it’s personal. Now your party members’ grief is a mirror to your own. And now you get to play as Luna, maybe? give the game time to flesh her out, have her bond with your old companions over their shared grief, and maybe use her connections and public speaking skills to rally the people of the world, in a perhaps-vain attempt to resist the oncoming darkness, while simultaneously using that public-facingness to drive her to hide her own fear and hopelessness...? That’s a complex character ripe for drama and tragedy right there! And then her, at the head of a story about people coming together to solve a global calamity themselves, rather than await their appointed savior?

Even then, but especially now... You can see the appeal, right?

- - - - -

Lemme step back and zoom out for a moment, because there’s one more kind of Fate to discuss before I finalize my thesis. Yes, I promise, there is a point besides being mad at FF15, this is still ultimately about Remake. Bear with me a little longer.

See, Remake’s premise is that it’s not quite FF7, but that itself is predicated on Remake being essentially FF7. Certain things must be in the Remake series, or it will cease to be the Final Fantasy 7 Remake series. The developers have gone on record saying as much, that they’ll still cover the thrust of the original, and that makes a lot of sense from a development standpoint. Building on an existing framework saves loads of time, and lets them focus on details as they have in Remake.

((I think they've already set up an in-universe justification for this, too. The party may have defeated the Whispers at Midgar, but the Whispers are the will of the planet. The only way to truly defeat them would be to defeat the planet itself, which: kind of the goal of the villains!

((a bit ironic, because the villains are the Whispers’ means to keep manipulating events. Remake backends a very large portion of the plot, and I don’t think Rufus seeing the Whispers is a throwaway detail. The party chases Sephiroth by chasing Shinra in the original, so even if the party has shaken free of the direct influence of the Whispers, manipulating Shinra should in turn manipulate the party.

((on top of which, Rufus prizes power, and the power to change or control fate-- something both the party and Sephiroth have seized-- would be as enticing as anything.))

But this begs the question: How much of Final Fantasy 7 is necessary before it stops being Final Fantasy 7? Do you need all nine characters? The Weapons? Rideable chocobo? Breedable chocobo? What about locations? Can you drop the Gold Saucer? or Mount Condor? or Mideel? How many minigames am I holding up? These are necessary questions, but so is this:

“Would a one-to-one recreation of the original game have the same emotional impact as when it released, twenty-three years ago?”

- - - - -

Now, the phrase “emotional impact” is necessarily kind of nebulous and subjective, so lemme dig into that a little bit.

The first significant chunk of the original FF7 takes place entirely in Midgar, which is one huge city. Every screen is densely packed; movement is typically constrained to narrow corridors and industrial crawlspaces. The whole world is deeply claustrophobic and visually hostile, by design.

This is FF7 for the first few hours, before a motorcycle chase deposits you outside city limits, and then... you hit the world map, and everything changes. The world is rendered in three whole dimensions, now! (Then, a technological marvel in its own right.) There’s a sky! There’s a horizon! Grass, mountains, the ocean!

Boundless, terrifying freedom.

From a mechanical standpoint, there’s only one real destination, an A-to-B with random encounters before a small enclosure with an inn and shops, no real change from what you’ve already been doing. But the mood? Everything’s fresh and new, now. Everything’s an unknown.

So, how do we do that again, two-and-a-half decades on?

Let’s say, something like this: Remake 2 starts with Cloud and Sephiroth en route to Nibelheim. For new players, this provides immediate intrigue: why are these mortal enemies hanging out in a truck? how did they get here, where are they going? For veterans, it’s familiar: oh, we’re in the flashback sequence.

For both, it provides mechanical familiarity. We just finished last game hanging out in Midgar, a bunch of town squares with shops and cutscenes connected to hazardous corridors. Well, Nibelheim’s a town with shops and cutscenes, connected to a monster-filled anthill and capped with a reactor. We know this. We’ve done this. We can do this again.

And when the flashback ends, we’re in Kalm. Another town, maybe with sidequests this time; Midgar looming in the distant skybox as a reminder of how far we’ve come.

And then you leave Kalm, and the camera zooms out, and out, and out...

Remake is essentially 7, and you can’t have the impact of 7′s world map reveal if Remake isn’t functionally open-world too. Square has plenty of experience with open environments, however successful their more recent attempts have been; I’m confident that the have the ability, at least, to craft an expansive world that feels appropriate to FF7.

((I’d like to take a moment here to talk about FF14, which mixes both compact twisty dungeons and wide-open overworld zones, and is necessarily wildly successful to still be operating as an MMO... but though I have played it briefly, I don’t claim knowledge sufficient to go in-depth. The point is, Square not only can make a game like that, they have, and are, and apparently possess non-zero competency. I have worries, but I’m not worried, if that makes sense.))

So, can you recreate a given kind of emotional impact? Yeah!

Can scenes from the original Final Fantasy 7 be rendered into a new context, more-or-less as they were? Absolutely!

Would a one-to-one recreation of the original game have the same emotional impact as when it released, twenty-three years ago?

- - - - -

Aerith dies.

If you opened this post and didn’t know that, well. There were spoiler warnings up at the top, the game’s more than two decades old, and the spoiler itself is basically a piece of pop-culture, up there with space dad and wizard killer. There’re probably plenty of people who know next-to-nothing about Final Fantasy 7 except that Aerith dies.

Everyone knows because, at the time, it was so big a thing. This was a title that Square hyped to heaven and back to push JRPGs into mainstream western markets, and it worked. And this was before major death was so common and arbitrary as it is today; even now, Game of Thrones and its ilk are a relative rarity. The death of a protagonist or love interest wasn’t a new thing for games, or any media really, but usually you knew it was coming, or it served some purpose. Aerith’s death was sudden, arbitrary, you’re almost immediately thrown into a boss fight so you don’t even have time to process it right away, and it’s the first stone in an avalanche of other pointless arbitrary tragedy. It’s an obvious narrative setup for the endgame confrontation with Sephiroth; instead, Cloud has a breakdown, Meteor happens, and now there’s an entire Disk 2.

Fandom has always been fandom, even before the continuous immediacy of the modern internet, but... people wrote letters to Square, and got sad on message boards. There’s an entire subset of forum signatures, back when those were a thing, that you could sort as “people fucked up over Aerith dying.” And again, this was the world. Not just Japan, or Asia, but everyone.

((Or, everyone with the finances to have a PS2 and/or an internet connection. Gaming as a pastime remains way expensive, whether played or watched. But you know how it is.))

And that’s the problem with answering that question.

See, FF7 is a lot of things, but for better or worse, it is defined by Aerith’s death. It’s one of many factors, but you can’t... leave it out, right? or it wouldn’t be FF7 anymore.

Aerith dies in FF7, and everyone knows it.

- - - - -

But Remake has promised, repeatedly, that things will be different this time. Everyone is coming together to defy fate, and Cloud in particular is here to keep Aerith from dying. Bodyguard jokes aside, Cloud repeatedly has flashbacks (flashforwards?) to Aerith’s death and the events leading to it. When he meets her in the church, when they cross into Sector 6, twice in the final battle. Hell, the very first time they meet, Sephiroth taunts him about not being able to save her. Even from a metatextual standpoint, since everyone knows Aerith dies, that’s like, The Most Obvious Fate To Change.

If, after all that, Aerith still dies? It’s not just tragedy, at that point. That’s the developers, actively lying to the player about their intent in making this game series. That’s frustrating, and immersion-breaking, and when said death is likely to still have one or more entire sequels to come after? maybe not great for sales! I know I didn’t bother buying the complete edition of FF15; I couldn’t bring myself to care enough about a game that set up this cool possibility, and then just, failed to deliver on every count.

And, Remake is being made for two audiences. I’ve said “everybody knows Aerith dies,” but that’s not really true, is it? It’s been 23 years, after all. Remake could well be someone’s very first Final Fantasy experience. That’s why they’ve been telegraphing Aerith’s death so hard. Not everyone knows, but at least everyone can guess. Is it fair, then, to this new audience, with potentially no knowledge or understanding of the legacy of this flashy new action game, to foreshadow tragedy in the future, have everyone come together to say, We’re Going To Stop This, and then... not? Is that good writing? Is that satisfying? When this is a multi-game and potentially multi-console investment of time and money, is this, as a newcomer, a story you’d want to keep playing?

And then on top of that, it’s 2020.

I don’t mean that in the current-year-fallacy, “we’re better than this now” kind of way. Rather, the way I felt about Final Fantasy 15 is even more relevant now. People, in real life, are realizing that the powers-that-be are failing them, have failed them, have been failing them for far longer than twenty-three years. The people that already knew that are actually showing up for each other, to spite what felt and feels like inescapable fate and finding that, together, they might just be able to ruin God’s day.

Game development is, of course, its own whole beast, and projects in motion tend to stay in motion; deviating from a plan takes time and money that Square may be unwilling to spend. But, under current world circumstances: is making a game where the hero sets out to save one specific person from their fated death, and following that with a game where that one specific person dies anyway, aside from everything else, a good business decision?

- - - - -

So... Aerith, shouldn’t die, right...? But, FF7 requires Meteor, and so requires the Temple of the Ancients and the Black Materia. And, Meteor can only be stopped by Holy, so FF7 requires the Forgotten City.

FF7 is a tragedy. FF7 demands blood.

...Hey, actually, hold that thought. How come Cloud can remember Aerith dying in the first place? He’s not from the future, right? He’s got a connection to Sephiroth, who is from the future... and Sephiroth can manipulate his memories...? but, why would Sephiroth let him, or make him, remember that?

Hey, how come Zack is alive, but like, in the “narrative scope” sense? Wouldn’t his presence circumvent Cloud’s delusions about the Nibelheim incident?

Hey, how come Cloud had multiple big climactic Sephiroth confrontations at what’s essentially the end of the prologue, including one that mirrors the very end of the original FF7? Shouldn’t that still come at, like, you know. the end?

Hey, how come--

- - - - -

Remake has these... Callbacks? Refrains? Like my favorite, when Sephiroth throws a train-- you know, The Fate Metaphor-- at Cloud, who absolutely shreds the thing. Or, for a more direct example:

And it frequently uses these to show that people are changing, that things can change. You know, the whole Running Theme the game has going on.

Sephiroth gets a refrain, too.

At the start of the game (give or take a reactor), in his first real appearance, Sephiroth philosophizes at Cloud, makes sure Cloud hates him, and tells Cloud what he wants.

At the end of the game, in his last appearance, Sephiroth philosophizes at Cloud, tells Cloud what he wants, and makes sure Cloud hates him.

Structurally, these encounters more-or-less bookend the game; thematically, it doesn’t exactly indicate change. Barret may or may not have come around on Cloud, and his admission that Cloud is important to him after all is, itself, important. Cloud, on the other hand, was always going to defy Sephiroth. He stands resolute, now, ready to fight rather than flee, but apathy was never on the table.

Now, Sephiroth’s whole Thing is psychologically manipulating Cloud to get what he wants, and as part of that, what Sephiroth wants is usually not what he says he wants.

All throughout the original FF7, Sephiroth riled up Cloud so that Cloud would pursue and defy him, culminating first in the Black Materia incident, and then again in the Forgotten City. None of the Sephiroth clones could survive the trip through the Northern Crater, so Sephiroth had to lure Cloud, with the Black Materia, to him, and then also convince Cloud to give up the Black Materia of his own accord. Mind control, memory manipulation and illusions were involved, but if Sephiroth could maintain those indefinitely, he probably just. Would have done that instead. Way easier,

The point is, in Remake, in addition to all the intermittent retraumitization sprinkled throughout the game, Sephiroth goes out of his way twice to directly ask Cloud, “hey, you hate me, right?” And, as part of that question, he tells Cloud, “this is what I want.” And Cloud? He hates Sephiroth, and will do his damnedest to keep Sephiroth from getting what he wants.

So. What does Sephiroth... say he wants?

- - - - -

One last aside before we cap off: This post would not exist without the valiant efforts of one Maximilian_dood. His devotion to the series kept myself and many others engaged and excited and, frankly, hopeful, in the leadup to the release of Remake, and his correlations between the rest of the FF7 series and Remake were enlightening and entertaining.

and had he not the gall to identify defying fate as a device to make aerith’s death more tragic, I would never have been angry enough to write this.

((I know, I know. Gaming and streaming and lit analysis are all hard individually, and I don’t begrudge losing one for the other two. And it was a first playthrough! I might have seen these lines sooner than some, but collating all this info was certainly not instantaneous. And Square can be hack writers at times-- see again my rant on FF15-- so even then, I can’t discount the possibility.

((but, still.

((Really?))

So, while I would like to believe that I have, by now, made my thesis on Remake’s narrative direction abundantly clear, here it is spelled out anyway:

- - - - -

At the bottom of the Forgotten City, at the shrine on the pillar in the lake, Cloud will find Aerith, who believes her fate immutable.

Sephiroth will descend, and Cloud will sacrifice himself, that Aerith should live.

This is Sephiroth’s plan.

- - - - -

Hey, thanks for reading this far! With my conversational tone and rambling tendencies, I’d have preferred to make this an audio post or, god forbid, a video essay, but I got a keyboard, and that’ll have to do. Diction is important to me, as the capitalization, italics and use of punctuation may have clued you in on, so... maybe you’ll get a dramatic reading sometime in the future? but, don’t bet on it.

Feel free to riddle me with questions, or point out inconsistencies with this big ol’ thing! I’m not exactly an expert, and I’m sure I glossed over, heavily paraphrased, completely forgot, intentionally ignored and/or aggressively misrepresented some stuff, but I love learning and teaching esoteric bullshit about The Vijigams. On that note, anything that sounds like it should be sourced is sourced from “I heard about it on social media or in a stream or youtube video one time, but if I actually had to hunt it down this whole thing would never see the light of day, and it has already been like three months,” which isn’t to excuse my lack of due diligence, but I do, lack diligence, so, tough.

Oh! but the Remake screens all come from [here]. Don’t care much for that splash screen, but, I Get It, so, whatever.

There were some other things I wanted to touch on but couldn’t really find a spot for. FF7 Remake as a metaphor for its own development, for example. Or, some of The Possibilities, like how Cloud’s death could very literally haunt Aerith, or how Remake sets up a more fleshed-out Midgar revisit that Cloud’s death specifically would make infinitely sadder.

On that note, if it was not yet obvious, I love speculation, and if they do go this direction, it’ll probably be their justification to go completely... off the rails? Remake only has to be FF7 until it doesn’t, after all. If there’s some wilder implications youall see for like... I dunno, a Jenova more fully-regenerated from also having Cloud’s cells back, getting into proper Kaiju-on-Kaiju battles with the Weapons, or anything like that? Feed me your brain juice, etc.

And, once more, for the road: this is interpretation; subjective, opinionated, and very much in denial of any kind of author-ity. Nor is this a claim on how things should be, or an assertion that this would be good or bad. Everything ultimately rests on Square's narrative design team and, we’ve touched on them already.

((but, for your consideration: I’m smart, and right))

Here’s hoping, whatever happens, we get the game we deserve.

thanks for coming to my ted talk, have a great day

[staliasjeronica]

Riverdale 3.09 Thoughts *Spoilers*

- Choni ❤️❤️❤️ But “stealing from.the rich to give to, well, us” what? Cheryl… YOU’RE RICH. Give some of the money to the Serpents They need it a bit more than you do baby. BUT BITCH THEIR FIRST I LOVE YOU I’M—

- Five weeks of the quarantine… that would have made an INCREDIBLE story line? Seriously? It would have been amazing to see Sweet Pea being temporary king while Jarghead and FP were gone. But no… let’s just skip the good part? What the fuck kinda writing skips.a great plot?

- “All physical contact must be kept to a minimum?” um… literally WHY? There’s literally NO reason for that to be a rule? Also fuck off Moose no ones likes a tattle tale and we all know that you’re slumming it up with Kevin after school so leave my babies alone. Oh. it’s for the seizures? Really? Dude SEIZURES ARE NOT FUCKING CONTAGIOUS YOU STUPID FUCKERS OH MY GOD. Stop trying to keep then gays from being cute!!!!!!!

- The RROTC made the rules? Dude they don’t run the school lmao that’s NOT HOW THINGS WORK

- JOSIE SINGING!!! MY BABY VERONICA!!! UGH FUCK ME UPPPP

- VEGGIE. VERONICA IS LOOKING AT JOSIE’S INCREDIBLE SINGING WHILE REGGIE IS AWING AT VERONICA I’M—

-  Ew and then my mood is ruined by bughead waking up 😷😷😷

- Betty put all of those girl’s… in HER house? THE COOPERS CAN BARELY TAKE CARE OF THEMSELVES LET ALONE THOSE GIRLS. Also don’t they fucking have families? And yes, Betty, that scream definitely would wake up your mom because they have those motherly instincts and they’d think their child was hurt, so ofc she’s going to wake up.

- They want to play… G&G… are you kidding me? I kinda get that it makes them feel better because that’s how they had it in SOQM but still WHY? JUST PLAY CLASSICAL MUSIC OR SOMETHING AND TAKE A BATH.

- Of course Jughead goes from his horrible leadership to “I left you too long” stfu right now your priority is the Serpents and who’s dealing the drugs (although I know who and uhhhh leave them alone he has to stay alive somehow)

 - They don’t even have an elected Sheriff yet? WHY? SHERIFF KELLER DIDN’T DIE DID HE? THEN FUCKING REINSTATE HIM??? IT’S NOT THAT FUCKING HARD YOU STUPID FUCKS

 - “Maybe that means that Archie could come back home” wE KNOW YOU’RE IN LOVE WITH HIM BETTY. Barchie!!!! ❤️❤️❤️

- Reggie ❤️❤️❤️ WOAH WHAT NO LEAVE HIM ALONE? HE ALREADY GETS ABUSED BY HIS FATHER! But aw Ronnie gets to take care of him I’m—

- Hiram really is trying to hustle his daughter wow so uhhh he does know that his daughter is the incredible Veronica Lodge, right? She’ll find a way lol we all know the queen can do everything

- “Has anyone ever told you you’re a badass?” Wow Reggie is so fucking into her I’m just 😭😭

- If Vegas gets hurt RAS will LITERALLY DIE.  I KNOW WHAT HAPPENS AND I’M NOT READY FOR THIS. Also there’s no way Vegas wouldn’t have seen or heard the bear behind him but sure whatever. ARCHIE JUST BC SHE’S ZONING OUT DOESN’T MEAN YOU CAN’T HEAR HER. JUST DO WHAT SHE SAYS JESUS. Also how convenient that it suddenly doesn’t work.

- “They imprinted on me” Betty NEVER say that again that was gross as fuck. “But as their queen, they are your responsibility, not mine” bitch Betty can’t be a queen no matter how hard she tries, and she (nor Jughead) know how to take care of anyone but themselves so… Alice unless you want Betty to end up killing them, this is where you, as the mom, undermine her and take them to the farm. Of course I don’t trust the farm but it’s much safer than the Cooper house hold because they have the resources to spare, the Cooper’s don’t.

- Hey here’s an idea… since you can’t get to Hiram using the nuns because they took a vow of silence (cowards) then maybe… just maybe… OUT IT AS A CONVERSION THERAPY HELL SITE AND USE THAT INSTEAD? But we know Betty doesn’t want to save the gays so 😷😷

- I love Josie’s singing but why is she singing in an empty lounge? REST HER VOCALS.

- I used to love Hiram’s evil-ness but now he just shows up all the time and it’s getting annoying. FOR THE LOVE OF GOD END THIS FUCKING PLOT SO VERONICA CAN FOR ONCE GET HER OWN STORY THAT BETTY DOESN’T TAKE, THAT DOESN’T REVOLVE AROUND HER FATHER OR A GUY. SERIOUSLY. They have so much potential with literally any other character but still decide to force Bughead and their separate characters down our throats. Like at this point honestly just kill them both off Jesus Christ

- Jughead… this is a gang… they’ve always sold drugs? At least, weed, but still? You have to take into consideration that you were gone, and they were placed under quarantine, and they needed money. You can’t blame any of them for dealing with Hiram you whiny piss baby. Desperate times call for desperate measures.

- God it bothers me that Jarghead is such a lowsy king. When do we get Sweet Pea overthrowing him? pLEASE WE NEED IT SO TONI CAN LEAD BESIDE HIM. Maybe Swangs (even though I know what happens) and Choni can co-lead the Serpents

- Cheryl speaking facts! AND MY BOY FANGS. Jughead had NOTHING to say to Fangs and FP had to step up and cover for Jughead, because he was right. What else are they supposed to do? Gangs are supposed to do bad shit? Jughead has done ultimate horrible shit and suddenly he’s going to act like a gang is supposed to be clean? Jughead do your research that is not what gangs do. Also, if FP is going to be at every fucking Serpent meeting maybe he should, you know, take his spot back. He’s a MUCH better leader than Jughead, even though I’d prefer it be one of the founding members like TONI FUCKING TOPAZ or something.

- I love how no one really does the “in unity there is strength” thing. Like, they know they’re being lead to slaughter basically and FP is just letting it happen. Also, they’re running the gang into the ground. There is no more unity because JUGHEAD’S STUPID POWER-HUNGRY ASS ISN’T DOING SHIT TO HELP THE GANG. Also also Betty looks so out of place and awkward there. Can’t wait for Archie to come back and for her to realize that he almost died and then realize she can’t live without him and that she loves him and finally bughead can split for good and barchie can rise

- If Veronica paid why the FLYING FUCK did they go after Josie? FucK OFF HIRAM

- Polly you had to say his name. LEAVE MY BOY ALONE.

- FANGS CRYING STOP STOP STOP MY BABY BOY NO NO NO

- “We could’ve helped you” JUGHEAD YOU LITERALLY JUST BANNED CRIME. THE SERPENTS HAVE NO MONEY WHAT ELSE WHAT HE WAS SUPPOSED TO DO? Also they can’t get mad at him bc this was before Jughead got back and did the stupid crime law like a hypocrite

- DUDE FANGS DID THIS BEFORE THE FUCKING RULE YOU STUPID FUCKERS? LIKE??? DO YOU HAVE NO BRAIN CELLS?

- Oh Jughead has one brain cell left? I know he ends up being cancelled but he’s not… yet.

- CHONI BREAKING IN AND STEALING SHIT YES BITCH

- Why is Archie hallucinating playing G&G? Like doesn’t this mean he’s playing by himself? The fuck?

- Dead ass Cassidy telling Archie it sounds like his fault that all that happened, you can tell that this is Archie’s mind because he always blames himself for things that have nothing to do with him. Because we know that it’s definitely NOT his fault. None of it is.

- Cheryl just HAD to kiss the picture

- JERONICA. JERONICA. JERONICA. JERONICA. JERONICA. JERONICA. JERONICA. MY FANFIC IS COMING TO LIFE. JUGHEAD AND THE SERPENTS PROTECTING VERONICA YASSSSSSSSS

- I’m mad that they didn’t have Joaquin not actually die. Like, Sweet Pea and Fangs were close to him? They could have faked his death like what the fuck

- YES WE LOVE AND STAN LAWYER MCCOY

- How did Jughead know that Toni was involved? Cheryl was the only one who left a stupid calling card.

- THE TEARS WELLING IN TONI’S EYES STOP STOP STOP

- But he can’t fucking kick her out she’s literally a legacy. This crusty white boy needs to sit the fuck down

- Okay one, Cheryl why would you bring Fangs back into it? THE FUCK. Also, Jughead you can’t be disappointed in Fangs for telling SP even though you said not to tell anyone—best friend’s never count. 

- SWEET PEA STANDING UP. FANGS CRYING. “Some leader you are” YES FANGS WHAT A KING. SWEET PEA BBY OH MY GOD

- “And the rest of us don’t get to go back to Thistlehouse” says the disgusting whiny piss baby who gets to sleep in his girlfriend’s house, in her comfortable bed while his gang lays in cots or some shit in tents. Get off your mighty high horse, Jughead. God, now they’re switching roles… Betty is kinda becoming SLIGHTLY tolerable and now Jughead is being so fucking annoying. Go back to how it was please.

- JERONICA. AND VEGGIE. EXCELLENCE.

- So Archie standing over Hiram and shit was all a fucking dream? Really? COME ON. Lol Hiram has a point though because everyone goes in and tells him their fucking plans. OMG THE CALLBACK TO THE FIRST EPISODE WAS GREAT. CALL BACK TO BARCHIE BEING ENDGAME YESSSS.

- So if Veronica ended up smashing the egg… then fucking give Fangs, Toni, and Cheryl their spots in the Serpents back since it was all for nothing anyways.

- I’m glad Cheryl and Nana Rose are housing some fo the girls but WHAT ABOUT THE SERPENTS YOU GUYS HAVE A BIG FUCKING HOUSE. Why didn’t she house some of them there? I mean it’s ooc for Toni not to be thinking of her fellow Serpents why wouldn’t she be like “hey babe you have a lot of room here what if we help house some of the Serpents” but uhhh apparently not.

- Hey FP shut the fuck up with this “she’s still a Lodge” shit because you all know she doesn’t associate herself with her parents anymore. Remember “you don’t have a daughter” or…?

- Jughead brought up when FP worked for Hiram. Hell yeah! But him saying he wants Jughead to be a better king than him? BITCH YOUR SON DOESN’T KNOW HOW TO RUN A GANG. HE SUCKS. HE’S STUPID AND RUINING THE GANG HOW CAN YOU NOT SEE THAT? God never give your throne to blood family.

- Yeah, FP, you’re not made for the sidelines you’re made to RULE you stupid fuck. Maybe you should get back with Alice she makes you more stable and less stupid

- REGGIE’S LIKE “NOT THIS TIME BITCH”

- SWEET PEA WITH A BAT FUCK YEAH

- So… you threaten the gargoyle bitch but you don’t unmask him to see who he is? Are you fucking stupid?

- Wtf… he has to beat himself with a bat on his own bed? I am confusion… WHAT THE FLYING FUCK? THE BLACK HOOD AND HIRAM AND THE GARGOYLE KING HAVE DONE SHIT NOT YOU YOU BIG BAFOON. NO DON’T DESTROY YOU’RE GOOD HEARTED INNOCENCE. YOU’RE THE ONLY BRAVE ONE OF THE CORE FOUR. ARCHIE NO.

- If they make Archie unlikable the only good core four person will be Veronica.

- VERONICA SINGING ❤️❤️❤️ Oh fuck I know this song but I can’t remember where I’ve heard it!!!

- VEGGIE. SHE’S SO FUCKING HAPPY TO SEE HIM I’M— HE’S SO ENAMORED WITH HER. VEGGIE KISS. Why can they make their chemistry shown on screen but Bughead can’t? Like both couples are even dating irl, too…

- JUGHEAD YOU PIECE OF SHIT. He only uses Sweet Pea or Fangs when he has something he doesn’t want to do usually because it’s too dangerous for him (whiny piss baby). DON’T MAKE MY BABY BOY GO UNDERCOVER HE’LL FUCKING GET HURT.

- I’ve literally never hated Jughead more nothing he can do can make up for what he’s done in this episode bye

- What the actual fuck. This is so fucking stupid.

- Archie isn’t dead. If Archie dies before bitch ass Betty or Jiggaloo Jones I will literally come after RAS. 

[leviosarpg]

Congratulations, SNOOZE! You have been accepted for the role of AMADEUS AVERY! Snooze, where do I begin with this app? When I created Amadeus I knew I wanted depth, but Snooze, you gave me so much more depth than I could have ever dreamed, I mean for goodness sake, you gave me an entire diagram! Your app genuinely captured me from beginning to end. From Amadeus’s relationship with his sister, Isolda, to his fascination with Ancient Runes, I was beyond blown away with how you managed to flesh Amadeus out into a fully actualized person--a living, breathing wizard. But what put this incredible app over-the-top, was your incredible second para sample. Despite bringing so much depth to Amadeus, you still manged to highlight his cruelty in a way so gut-wrenchingly perfect, know I will remain in complete awe for the rest of the night.

Your faceclaim change to: Keith Powers has been accepted. Don’t forget to send in your account to the main and complete the items listed on the CHECKLIST!

THE PLAYER

name/age/pronouns/timezone: Susan (though I prefer Snooze); 18; she/her; PST

THE CHARACTER

desired role: Funny story! Amadeus was actually not my first choice. I was trying to figure out who to apply between Bishop, Odin, and Silvanus. I got my Amadeus inspiration from brainstorming for Bishop, because I was asking myself, what kind of dude is Bishop listening to? Then I got into a rabbit hole and tada! Amadeus app.

Here’s the thing: Amadeus is nothing like any character I’ve played/written before. I tend to be attracted to characters who stand in the middle, who are struggling with a decision, torn between two sides, who don’t want to check the option boxes presented to them and who seek to make their own paths. But Amadeus grabs my attention. He grows up with a solid foundation and he’s sure of himself. He knows exactly what he’s doing. What happens if things deviate from his plans? He may be smart but he’s only eighteen. There are things he doesn’t know and situations he hasn’t experienced. His relationship with Seneca is so, so intriguing because how in Merlin’s name can a person like him has feelings? I’m also a sucker for secret/forbidden romance, so there’s that. I want to let him suffer and make mistakes — I want to see his growth and how the war and certain secrets will change him. He’s a volatile little guy. Anyway, read on!

gender/pronouns: he/him; cis-male

extracurriculars: In addition to the pre-selected ones, Amadeus is also in Astronomy Club, Charms Club, and Dueling Club,

para sample:

Note: The first sample I have no specific year in mind — it could be Amadeus’ fifth, sixth, or seventh year. The second one takes place in the summer of Amadeus’ fifth year.

Also! To prevent any confusion, since I wrote the app non-chronologically, Isolda is Amadeus’ little sister. They are eight years apart. Isolda was kidnapped in the summer of Amadeus’ fifth year, and he was the one who tortured and killed her kidnapper afterward.

————————————

Amadeus dressed in the dark, glancing at a mirror that only outlined the dark silhouette of his body, as the sun has yet to rise this early in the day, and he broke the unbearable silence by humming quietly a tune whose origin he could not recall. His mind was still groggy from the ten-hour sleep he’d indulged in yesterday. Stifling a yawn, he snatched his wand from the nightstand and whispered a Reducio to his trunk.

When he was about to leave, the door to his room cracked open, letting in a sliver of darkness against the grey carpet of the floor — the hallways had always had a tendency to cloak itself in pitch-black shadows, even darker than his room. A small figure entered.

“Where ar’ya goin’,” Isolda muttered, her words slurred together because she certainly shouldn’t be up at this time. Amadeus frowned, turned on the chandelier light with a wandless wave, and kneeled down to see her face-to-face.

“Hogwarts, of course,” he replied. “I would’ve stopped by your room before I leave, you know that?”

She nodded, though she didn’t seem convinced. “Papa said the same when he was going to Turkey, but he didn’t.”

Amadeus sighed; his father may be a great man, but he never remembered his promises. He hoisted Isolda up and tucked his left arm underneath her legs so that her face was buried in his neck, then he walked to her room. His nerves tingled while going upstairs, but his parents, he thought, were still deeply asleep and thus unlikely to appear and shake their heads at his physical display of care. It was a shame that Isolda was born into a culture of rigidity. She was too emotional for her own good.

She was already sleeping when they arrived, so Amadeus laid her gently on her bed and pulled the blanket over her. He fished from his pocket a small set of papers, upon which he’d copied numerous alchemical formulas from Hogwarts’ library. Surely she would have a grand time looking through them until Christmas.

After that, he called for Milsy, their house-elf, to make sure that his notes to his parents would be delivered when they breakfasted later. Shrugging on a suit jacket and a hat, he left the Averys’ premises with his miniaturized trunk and apparated away.

Amadeus stopped by Hogsmeade Post Office to drop off several contract packages for his father, then he headed to Borgin and Burkes. The air was so foggy and saturated that he felt as if he’d just swam the Thames.

“The Tome of Cleopatra,” he demanded upon entering. The man working behind the faux-wood table pursed his lips and sniffed his rat-like nose twice, but Amadeus only needed to lift his eyebrows to kick the man into gear. Anyone who didn’t recognize him may as well sign a death warrant — a social one if he was in a good mood or a literal one if he wasn’t.  While waiting, he eyed a pair of gilded cufflinks sitting in a glass box on a shelf. Diamonds decorated their surface, glittering brightly despite the dust that had settled on the box. They were certainly expensive and a fitting gift for someone he knew. He may have to lift some curses, but that shouldn’t be too hard. Small, probably unnoticeable, easily excusable price, perhaps …

No, no. Amadeus let the temptation slide. He should not be so careless — nor should he, for that matter, assume that the action would be appreciated. The man returned, slamming the thick book on the counter, and Amadeus felt dread creeping up his spine.

Merlin helps me, how can I go through this whole thing?

He slid the pouch of Galleon over and left with the tome. Seeing a beggar on the side of the road, he spat on the old woman’s face, then, for good measure, kicked her can of coins as far as possible. He wanted to make other people feel as miserable as he suddenly was.

The damn book. These damn feelings. This bloody muggy weather. What rights do they have to make him feel like a failure? Nothing! He was fucking Amadeus Avery! His throne sat on a wealth of power and money and he knew how to keep and better them. The economy of Wizarding Britain lay in his palm. The rich magic of this planet was his to command. He was not a failure.

Platform 9 ¾ was, as expected, empty, with only a couple of stragglers here and there and two shady individuals whispering near the ticket station. The Hogwarts train was here though, and its doors were unlocked, so Amadeus entered and claimed a cabin for himself. On the cabins of the Gryffindors he carved a mild curse of bad vision, created a few weeks ago, and hoped that it would kick in at opportune times during Quidditch matches, though there was a large chance that he guessed the cabin wrong or that the curse would have already petered out by then.

Satisfied with his task, he returned to his cabin and lay down on the bench, drifting off to a quick nap.

————————————

Trigger warning: Violence, gore, death, vomiting, torture

Money changed hands, and Amadeus stepped inside the cell where Isolda’s kidnapper was sleeping, resting, so peacefully that Amadeus felt his hatred burst out like a cobra springing to tear apart its prey. The man shifted on the stone floor. Amadeus gripped his wand tighter and thought, if you know what’s good for you, you will wake up now, a clumsy attempt at Legilimency, but he didn’t care for it had succeeded. The man’s eyes snapped open, deranged and red, and a half-smile tugged on the corner of his chapped, bloody lips.

“What’s this?” he spoke, voice hoarse and tinged with amusement. “Come to kill me?”

He stared down at the wretched piece of shit that didn’t deserve the mercy of the Dementors with his back straight, his voice steady, and he said, “Yes.”

The man mustn’t have expected a direct answer, as his expression faltered for a moment, but he went on, “Yeah, let’s do it then.”

“Not yet. Petrificus Totalus.”

The spell hit true. Amadeus shrugged off his suit jacket and set it on the floor; then he rolled up the sleeves of his white shirt, unhurried, for he had all the time in the world, all the while he flickered brief glances at the kidnapper to gauge his emotions, which had become more muted, more cautious, and, to Amadeus’ pleasure, more frightened.

Amadeus placed his wand on top of his rumpled suit, popped a collar button open, and kicked the man’s stomach hard. The man’s back slammed into the wall with a satisfying crack. Amadeus kicked again, this time to the man’s chest, and heard the pleasant sound of ribs breaking. He went on, and on, and on, lost in the vesuvian rage, in the rhythm of grunts and the thudding of soft flesh. At one point Amadeus straddled the man’s body and started punching his face, aiming everywhere he could—cheeks, nose, mouth, forehead.

“You think you can insult an Avery and leave unscathed?” Amadeus shouted, panting from the physical exertion. “You touched my sister, filthy mudblood, and I will make you fucking beg to be killed by the end of this.”

He stood up and backed away a few steps, grabbing his wand.

“Petrificus Totalus, Petrificus Totalus, Petrificus Totalus,” Amadeus intoned.

The man’s muscles seized tighter, tighter, until he was shaking and sweating and the veins in his neck were bulging, until several loud snaps rang loud, the sounds of ruptured muscles and tendons, and Amadeus felt the delicious, ugly glee in him morph into a grin. He released the spell, but the man remained in the same position, cursing, pleading, tearing up.

“Crucio.” A roar of pain; the man’s body arched up.

“Crucio.” Nonsensical babbling for mercy; empty promises to do whatever the Averys wanted. Too late.

“Crucio.” Eyes rolled up; a drooling mess; broken whimpers.

Amadeus paused. He breathed. He calmed his pounding heart. He’d gone further than he had ever been, and his fingers were trembling, maybe from the magical drain, maybe from the bleeding knuckles, maybe from the horror that was beginning to overcome his fury. But—Isolda, he thought. The rational part of his mind was yelling at him to stop, retreat, recalculate, for he, frankly, didn’t know where this was heading toward, didn’t know if he would jump off that cliff of indecision and into the chasm of immorality, passing the point of no return, staining his hand with the blood of another.

So Amadeus delayed. He transfigured all his buttons to thin needles, then he crouched down and held up the man’s hand. The hand that dared take away Isolda.

“Ennervate.”

This was the part he would not remember, the part that would appear blank were he to search for it:

Amadeus lined a needle to the tip of the man’s index finger and pushed it in steadily, watching life, awakened by pain, returning to the man’s dull eyes. The man screamed, wildly, uncontrollably, all his self-control gone. Amadeus kept on going: middle finger, ring finger, pinky. Deaf to the howling, he repeated the procedure to the other hand, half of his mind a far distance from reality while the other half drew on courage from hatred. Afterward, Amadeus stabbed the man in the stomach with the knife in his pants’ pocket, once for every hour Isolda was missing, methodically, as if hypnotized. He switched to the thighs once he ran out of space.

Finished, Amadeus moved back and took stock of his handiwork. The darkness of night hid the worst parts, but somehow he could still make out every bruise, every cut, and every bit of blood that littered the man’s body. The man yet lived.

“Merlin,” he murmured.

He pointed his wand to the man again.

You’ve got to mean it.

He’d done this before, a dozen times, but only to kill insects or to pretend to kill Isolda’s monster in the closet, never to a human.

You’ve got to be calm. I don’t care if you’re in the middle of a five-way duel, find that moment of silence in your head.

He reminded himself that this—this was worth it. For Isolda. For the Averys name. Or, if not, to end the man’s suffering.

Aim, draw on your willingness to kill, and be swift. Like snapping your fingers.

“Avada Kedavra.”

A flash of green, and then, the end.

He put on his suit jacket and cast an illusion over himself. Money changed hands, from a quivering grip to a hesitant palm, and Amadeus apparated back home. All of the lights were off, and he stumbled down the hallway, noisily, but only one elf appeared. She asked what he needed, but he didn’t reply, so she followed him as he opened the door to his room, crossed the bed, pushed forward the bathroom’s door, planted his hands on the sides of the sink, looked at himself in the mirror, and saw, as reality closed down on him like a strangling noose, the wretched face of a murderer and the wide, panicked eyes of a teenager yet to be of age.

He threw up. For a while.

“Milsy,” he called after his stomach stopped churning, throat still burning from the acid and nose thick with the scent of vomit.

“Yes, Master?”

“Get me some warm milk.”

“With three spoons of honey, Master?”

“Yeah.”

The house elf went away.

Now facing his reflection alone, Amadeus glared at himself, as if disgusted with his inability to contain the appearance of shock, and he said, “It was a good kill.”

Then, again, with more bravo, “It was a good kill. Your first one too.” He paused. “You need to learn that sooner or later, so it doesn’t matter either way. Father did it when he was eighteen. Mother when she was twenty. Everyone does it.” Not to mention it was a befitting punishment for taking away Isolda for thirty six hours.

And so he kept on going, muttering to himself, repeating what he’d said, making it a mantra, making it his truth, a truth that he, perhaps, could live with.

OTHERS & EXTRA (OPTIONAL)

FC: Keith Powers!

Extra Content!

Disclaimer: I’m 100% down to change some details of what I wrote below, since a lot of them involve my cursory interpretation of the rest of the characters. Also, I try to explore his relationship with Seneca as much as possible, but I don’t want to delve too deep until I talk to Seneca’s writer & discuss some details.

BIOGRAPHY (Intro, Hogwarts, Tom Riddle): An imaginary piece of writing by Amadeus, briefly exploring his past and his years at Hogwarts. Note that this represents his perception of the world around him and does not necessarily reflect reality, especially when he boasts about his accomplishments. This is how he wants people to remember him.

LETTERS I WILL NOT SEND, WORDS I WILL NEVER SAY: Short, non-chronological pieces that Amadeus “writes” (the exact mechanics are explained in PERSONALITY section) and burns as an outlet for his emotions for Seneca. Amadeus only pens these when he’s overwhelmed with feelings, so they may seem excessively sentimental.  

PERSONALITY: Self-explanatory.

HEADCANONS: Things that I can’t fit into other categories. This part may seem really messy because I was jotting down thoughts as I go, so I apologize in advance!

THE DIAGRAM: Because I got lost in Amadeus’ complexity. It’s in a separate photo submission.

————————————

BIOGRAPHY

Introduction

August 15, 1942

As the heir of the Illustrious and Ancient House of Avery, it is traditional that I record the events in my life for future generations to peruse. For this is merely the first draft, I shall save the typical long-winded introduction for later and get started on the story.

My parents are a good match, perhaps the best there has ever been in the Avery line. My mother is Calista Avery, the Averys’ Matriarch, and my father Sivert Solberg, heir to the prominent Solberg line in Norway. They met during the Autumn Ball of Marseilles and was engaged three years later, in 1925. Their marriage was a winter one, brilliant and luxurious with six hundred and eighty two guests from Britain and Norway. Sivert adopted our name as per traditions of marrying a Head of a family, and I was born about two years later in the summer solstice of 1928. I should have had two sisters, but my mother miscarried once, so now it is only me and little Isolda, who is eight years younger than me. She will be attending Beauxbaton three years from now, and we are, naturally, very excited, for our private tutors have affirmed that she has talents in Alchemy. I was jealous of her for a while — Alchemy, after all, is the field of famous wizards such as Nicholas Flamel and Albus Dumbledore. But I later realized that her work would bring her to the shadows, to the edge of the crowd, while I, heir and a genius myself of the Dark Arts, would have the spotlight. I have stopped my unwarranted competition with her since and have fully devoted to train her to be worthy of the Avery name.

But enough about my sister. My name is Amadeus Avery. I have no middle name, for I am in the shadow of no one but myself. The Avery name is powerful, the Avery blood more so, and I plan to be the greatest Avery to have ever lived. I was born June 22, 1928, a day brimming with magic and, coincidentally, also the birthdate of the 5th Head of the Averys. My birth was a hard one, for I was my mother’s first child, twelve hours in total, a sign, apparently, for my stubbornness and determination. I grew up in a household of emotional detachment — not apathy, I must clarify, as I always know that my parents love and want the best for me. Public and private gestures of affection are much frowned upon, and we show our care through indirect means — material goods and gifts, the sharing of secrets and inner thoughts, criticisms and advice (how else could we maintain the image of a perfect family?).

My parents have had rough times — the aftermath of the first miscarriage when I was six, for example. My mother shut herself from my father, and he, frustrated with the isolation, left the country for two weeks, during which he had a tryst with some Ukranian lover. My mother, too, went out more frequently to meet with, I had guessed, her own lover, and sometimes my tutors and I would be the only inhabitants of the house. The Lestranges and the Rowles had had a grand time with the gossip then, I remember. At some point, I’m not sure when, my parents properly talked with each other (thanks to my uncle’s insistent; I have mentioned, of course, that my family does not explicitly express emotions) and the issue was resolved. Their connection and loyalty, strangely, only grew stronger. Perhaps the bad streak in their history motivated them to shine even brighter than before. Isolda’s birth when I was eight smoothed over the last of the scars, though I knew they could never forget their first daughter, Leona Avery.

Up until six I was showered with toys and magical trinkets, with bedtime stories of the founding of the Dark Arts and the beginnings of the Averys in the Fertile Crescent. We are part of the Sacred Twenty Eight, but such title is inconsequential, for the Avery name has, for the better part of the Wizarding World’s history, though not without ups and downs, garnered much reverence from the general populace due to our natural inclination to the Arts of Old Magic, recently defined as the Dark Arts by the more ignorant. My first accidental magic occurred when I was seven months old — hunger had compelled me to call upon all the chocolate cakes reserved for a party later — and after I learned to speak, my paternal granduncle, the former Norwegian Head of Law Enforcement, came down to teach me the basics of manipulating magic. Afterward tutors taught me, only the best in London, among which are a former assistant to Nicholas Flamel, Vice Chief of the Auror Department (my maternal aunt), a descendant of the Gamp family,  and the reigning Champion of European Dueling Tournament (though she only started when I got into Hogwarts).

I mastered the curriculum of Hogwarts’ first year when I was nine, and after that I branch sideways instead of forward (it was later explained that my physical body needed to catch up with my magical prowess; balance and harmony are important in the making of a strong wizard like me). We possess two libraries worth of tomes — one in the current Averys mansion and one in our ancestral home in Babylon (formerly known as the Babylonian Society of Ancient Magic). Books are not my forte, as I learned better with practical demonstration, but they nonetheless are an incredible source of knowledge. I delve into the arts of occlumency, legilimency, necromancy, ritual magic, blood magic, bone magic, runic magic, demonology (rather too obscure and unstable to be feasible, sadly), various branches of hex- and spellcrafting, ancient Egyptian and Roman curses (those people have a fascinating imagination, I must admit), and the lighter sides of magic such as arithmancy and charms. When I entered Hogwarts, I was not a master in any of those fields, but I knew enough to be one of the top students, and my sheer power was often enough to overwhelm my opponents.

Hogwarts

I have been aware of pureblood politics since I could read, but to be thrown into such a large body of students was a nasty surprise. Slytherin, the microcosm of pureblood society, was filled with intricate schemes and power plays between noble houses, a network that I at first found it hard to engage in, for the Averys had never been terribly friendly or popular. We stand above everyone else — because we are, indeed, better than most — and the purebloods, with their fragile egos, often take offense to our supposed arrogance. It is the Lestranges, the Rowles, the Malfoys, the Blacks, among many others, whose voices are heard and frequently recited. I struggled for two years to gain a footing in their network to no avail until I realized that I did not have to do so. I am Amadeus Avery, and I need not their acknowledgement. As soon as I stopped participating in their games, I became respected. They value me because they understand my importance, because they see my influence despite not being the top of their food chain. And so I gained my footing in pureblood society by refusing to acknowledge its presence. My parents were proud, and that Christmas they gifted me a brilliant case of jewelry stones for me to practice my blood curses on.

In school I focus on the Dark Arts, Charms, and Ancient Runes — the rest are unimportant to me, though I maintain respectable grades. I am far too busy with my projects nfor silly creatures or, Merlin forbid, divination. Astronomy is decent, but the subject is impossible to enjoy because the Blacks are so disgustingly vocal about their naming traditions. The teachers are merely satisfactory — none of them seemed to appreciate my talents in Dark Magic. Their responses typically fall into two camps, wariness or jealousy. Horace Slughorn is slightly better than most, as his Slug Club provides immense networking opportunities for like-minded individuals. It is where I developed a friendship with Tom Riddle — rest assured that I shall expand upon this remarkable person later.

I discovered the joy of inter-house rivalry in my second year when I became Beater for Slytherin’s Quidditch Team. Ivon Blaine was particularly entertaining. He’d always been weaker than me in all aspects — save for some lucky instances on the Quidditch field, of course — and I wholeheartedly enjoyed taunting him. He’d always been so easy to rile up, so easy to manipulate, and I, who had recently discovered my sharp tongue, was only too thrilled to test it on him. Gryffindors have always been so embarrassingly brash and physical — it is absolutely nauseating how they publicly display their affections and weaknesses out in the open air, as if they are desperate to be hurt. The duels were mere exercises to me, though they had the side benefit of elevating my reputation. Ivon became predictable as time passed, however, and I stopped enjoying our little games. I had better things to worry about — Grindelwald, for instance, and Tom Riddle’s vision. Though riling up Ivon no longer brought me as much joy as it did before, I am still rather entertained by his reaction whenever I speak to him.

Bishop Vermeer is a Ravenclaw that I respect. I met him during my fourth year while preparing for my OWLs and was impressed with his intelligence, which rivaled mine. He listens more than he speaks, but his interjections are always insightful and helpful to me, and so I come back to him as a friend, always, for his ears. We work on projects too, mine more often than his. I think he is too smart for his own good — he is never swayed by my honey sweet words, even though he sometimes pretends he does, and I am both disappointed and pleased by that. Had he been more weak-willed, I doubt I would have respected him as much as I am now. It is a shame that he is not more zealous about Riddle’s cause, but when the time comes, I have faith that he will side with us. If not — well, I would not wish to face him, out of respect for our companionship.

Tom Riddle

He was a bit of an underdog, I must admit, and him being quite mum about his origins except when absolutely necessary (at least during his first year at Hogwarts) hinted at his blood status, though now I dare not think about it, for his legilimency skills far outstrip my occlumency. His cause gripped my attention the moment he mentioned it in the Slytherin common room, and I remember being vocally supportive of it, for, with the current politics surrounding Grindelwald, I recognized immediately that his ideas would bring us far. Tom Riddle is a revolutionary who will usher in an era of greatness, of pureblood culture and appreciation for real magic, not the childish stuff that Hogwarts teaches. I intend to be at the forefront of this movement alongside Riddle. I will make a name for myself.

You may wonder why I am not the leader. First of all, I have no wish to make an enemy of Riddle — we may match in dueling prowess, but he is, I am reluctant to admit, hard to outwit. Furthermore, he has a better hold on the purebloods than I do — as I have said before, the Avery name is respectable, not popular. Riddle has a way with words that is gently persuasive and malleable. He knows how to push buttons. Let him lead the movement and I be his loyal soldier. The position is prestigious enough that I can contend with not being the top. His ego and mine sometimes clash, but I try to keep to his good side more often than not. We share details of our projects, though he tends to work alone rather than in a group, and he absolutely detests me offering help.

I suppose I shall mark this as the temporary end of this biography. I intend to update this as frequently as possible.

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LETTERS I WILL NOT SEND,

WORDS I WILL NEVER SAY

My grandmother, a famous jewelry collector in her nineties, gave my father a ring of blue zircon, who, in turn, passed it down to me. It sat in a drawer back in my room, only to be worn during Christmas balls. The ring was thick and ostentatiously ornamental, heavy on my middle finger every time I wore it, and I complained all the time until I was five and learnt the art of formal presentation. The ring is a sign of power and a reminder that my parents are of two famous lines, and it often sat next to the Avery heirloom ring on my index finger, glinting, mesmerizingly blue, always distracting me when light shines at the right angle. Tonight, when I saw you, when I looked into your eyes, I thought of my ring, and I wished, for but a brief millisecond, that we were better, that I was better, so that I might, perhaps, be brave enough to —

[ … ]

I did not see you today, but I was frightened for you, for us. Charms class ended early, so I was traversing the hallway, sketching in my head a new design of some anti-apparition wards, when thoughts of you filled my mind. I remembered our kiss yesterday even though I tried not to — at least, not until I was safe in my dorm. I couldn’t help smiling. Then, Tom Riddle rounded the corner, and I froze. My heart dropped, my mind emptied, and I willed my face to express something close to pleasant surprise. You cannot imagine how fearful I was. It isn’t close to my fright for Isolda when she was kidnapped, but it is certainly high up the list. Had he been searching in my mind, we would have been discovered, and the fallout, though may seem inconsequential at first, could only be catastrophic to me. Everything would have been ruined, and the choices I would have to make were unimaginable. But he wasn’t searching, thank Merlin, and I would have known if he was. I am entertaining the thought of avoiding you for a while until I could calm down. I know I may hurt you, but you must understand that I have to control myself, I have to set boundaries, or else I —

[ … ]

You were worried today, and I am not sure why. Had you been anyone else, I would have attempted to persuade an answer out of you, but strangely I complied with your request not to pry. You have no idea how much control you have over me, and I am frightened. I cannot see our future, though I must admit that I always strived not to think about our future; there are too many complications there that I cannot resolve, and I cannot bear the thought of you absent from my life, much as I loathe to admit such weakness in myself. I want to enjoy the present and only the present. Sometimes, you are the only outlet for my emotions. Sometimes, we are strangers. Sometimes, you scare me to death with your glances and your smiles and your kisses. I have thought about breaking things cleanly between us, because the stakes are becoming higher and higher, and yet I never manage to do so, because to break cleanly is to admit that there is something to break, and because I simply —  

[ … ]

Sometimes I believe my parents are clay figurines carved with human features and charmed to be alive. Their expressions are stiff, their emotions strained, and they always seem most at ease with blank countenances and frigid glances, with careless words and calculated touches. I remember vividly that they barely touched Isolda when she was returned to us, a mess of a child, eyes red and dress muddied. My mother touched her hair, and I could not tell if she was too frightened to do more or if she simply detested public displays of affections so much that she would ignore her own child’s trauma. I was the one who scooped Isolda up in my arms and soothed her cries. I tried my best anyway. No one has ever done such things to me. You may wonder why I am telling this story, and here is why: I noticed that you were distraught today. You were hurt, and I hurt for you, but I could do nothing to alleviate whatever burden you were shouldering. I was too busy struggling with my confusion toward you. I do not know what to do. I do not know what we are. I asked myself how I could grow to care for you when I was not built for such emotions, how I could be in —

[ … ]

For a moment I feared that our secret was exposed, but we both performed well the role of casual acquaintances in class today, don’t you think? I am relieved that despite certain progress in our … companionship, we are still capable of maintaining a facade of normality in front of the masses. Tom Riddle, I think, suspects I am hiding something, but he cares far too much for his pet project to figure out. He’s never been too invested in our personal lives. If worse comes to worst, I could still tell him about my projects on developing possible resistance to the Killing Curse and mass-producing Inferi through a variant of a demonic rune design, neither of which, unfortunately, are straightforward enough for practical use, but they certainly will satisfy his curiosity. On a side note, I wish so fervently that I could buy you a better gift for your birthday, but alas, I could only lie about my expenses for so much, and the size of your gift could not be too large. My wish manifested in my dream three nights ago. In it we were happy, had been for months, and I, on that brilliant winter day, like a bloody muggle, horrifyingly, was on my knees —  

————————————

PERSONALITY:

Amadeus is …

Arrogant: He believes himself to be better than everyone else due to his magical might and his bloodline tracing back to the beginning of civilization.

His arrogance doesn’t quite manifest in speech (like, say, Draco Malfoy) but in his body language, his stance, the way he looks at people, the inflections of his tone. Taken alone, his words may seem casual and respectful, but coming from him they could be the worst insults.

He doesn’t care that people are weaker because of their circumstances. He cares that people are weaker than him, period.

Hypocritical: He criticizes the actions and personalities of other people but does not admit to himself that he sometimes shares those characteristics and does similar things.

For example: He thinks displays of affection are a weakness, yet he treasures his moments with Seneca and loves Isolda. He claims that he doesn’t care about Venus’ (or Odette’s) popularity, but he is actually jealous that they, along with the Lestranges and Rowles, have the ability to influence a crowd. He preaches that you reap what you sow, but when confronted with the consequences of his actions, he will never admit his faults. He believes Olive Hornby ridiculous for being contradictory in her actions (a guilt-ridden bully), but he is a creature of dichotomy also.

Judgemental: The number of people he respects or gets along with is small due to his tendency to either be critical of their differences (compared to him) or be jealous of what they have that he doesn’t.

Obstinate & Ambitious: Once he has a goal, he will never budge from it — for instance, nothing can shake him from his desire to be the best Avery there ever has been. It is difficult to change his mind about anything, including first impressions of people and ideologies.

Cruel: He is cruel not because he wishes to hurt (unless under certain circumstances) but because he is naturally unsympathetic to most.

But he is also …

Passionate: Though he is raised and tries to be otherwise, Amadeus is a passion-driven individual.

He loves magic and the Dark Arts, loves its instability and its potential for good and bad, and he delves into research with a furious fervor, never stopping, always wanting to have more, know more, always wishing to break the limits and go beyond what is known.

His jealousy comes easily. Amadeus grows up thinking he has the world in his palm, so he’s jealous of anyone who seems to be better than he.

He absolutely adores Isolda, at least once he gets over his jealousy, and he showers her with love and affection to a level that would be frowned upon by his parents had they known. He thinks she is too soft to be an Avery — she was born to be compassionate, and the rigidity of his parents hurts her, so he will lessen that pain for her in any way possible.

As an unintentional consequence of his love for Isolda, he also comes to like her pet hippogriff (a species of smaller size, fitting to live in a mansion) despite his vocal denouncement of anything creature-related.

He has deep affections for Seneca Montague — love, perhaps, though he’d never admit it — and despite his best efforts to contain these feelings, they are too much to keep inside, always threatening to spill out, and he has to compartmentalize his feelings, sometimes unsuccessfully.

Clever: He has a different brand of intelligence, but his mind, full of knowledge, always proves to be useful.

He may not be the best strategist, but he can process information incredibly fast and skip to a conclusion in lightning-speed. He works best under pressure and during duels.

He has an instinctive grasp on spellcrafting and runic magic, though he tends to lean toward the latter. He’s like a genius computer programmer or an engineer. He knows the pieces and he knows how to put them together; when they don’t work, he could easily tweak a bit here and fix a bit there to craft better rune diagrams for long-term curses and charms.

He cannot, for the life of him, read theories, but after a single demonstration, he can understand even the most complex alchemical concept

He figures out a way to compartmentalize his feelings for Seneca so he will not have to acknowledge them:

In the moments he shares with Seneca, he will not think of the repercussions. When he is not with Seneca, he will try to put him out of mind.

Sometimes when he feels too much, he would put his feelings on paper — using a quill charmed to inscribe his thoughts — and then he’d burn it. The reasoning is that if he makes it physical and then destroys it, whatever that is bothering him would stop existing. He doesn’t read these paragraphs, nor does he physically write them, so it’s easier for him to deny his feelings.

A downside to this compartmentalizing method is that his mood can swing widely from hour to hour, and often he wonders if it would someday break him. It works for now, so he doesn’t care much.

He is proud of …

His dueling skills: He has lost to no one except Tom Riddle and occasionally some members of the Harbingers & Liberation.

His runic diagrams: They are his own creations, and he is proud and thrilled to see them in action, no matter how destructive they could be.

His knowledge: He is well-versed in the rules of Wizarding economy and pureblood politics, and he was taught to keep up the prominence of the Avery name. Magically, his knowledge is shallow but extensive, and he frequently reads (or tries to read) to gain more information.

The murder of Isolda’s kidnapper: He tortured her kidnapper before finally killing him. It was his first kill and first usage of the Killing Curse on a human at the age of fifteen. Deep down, he’s horrified at his actions, but he successfully convinces himself to be proud because he could never admit that he feels guilty — a feeling that does not exist in the Avery household.

And he hates …

Nothing, which is what he would’ve said to himself, but in reality:

The isolation of the Averys: He envies those who can participate in pureblood politics and loathes that he is often pushed to the sides. He may pretend that he doesn’t need them, that the Averys doesn’t need to be a participant, but he is, nonetheless, lonely, because he doesn’t belong properly in any community.

The rigidity of his parents: He thinks his parents are too stringent with their emotions and believes Isolda is harmed because of that. Subconsciously, he blames his parents for his cruel nature and doesn’t want Isolda to live through his loveless childhood.

A subject that belongs in neither categories is his relationship with Seneca, which he loves and hates at the same time. He likes Seneca beyond the boundaries of friendship, but he hates defining what they are. Somewhere in the back of his mind, he’s aware that he’s making a mistake, perhaps the best mistake in his life, and he’s waiting for the inescapable fallout.

HEADCANONS

What’s his attitude toward muggles?

He believes in all of the stereotypes: they are dirty, primitive, stupid, and ignorant of the true beauty of magic.

He’s actually really into classical music (once he finds out about it through William Brown, unintentionally) but he wasn’t aware that most of the composers are muggles

What does he do in his free time?

Runic projects; finance planning/investment with his father; whatever Riddle wants him to do at that time;

His relationship with Ogden:

Good relationship until the end of 6th year when Ogden approaches Amadeus about an apprenticeship in Ancient Runes. Anyone would’ve been ecstatic, as it’s a rare occasion that a sixth year would be offered such opportunity, but Amadeus was angry. He couldn’t believe Ogden would offer him such a lowly career option, and he has a sneaking suspicion that Ogden wants to supervise his work more closely to prevent him from “falling” to the darker (and purer, in his opinion) forms of magic. Their relationship has been tentative since then.

His runic experimental room arguably shows more aspects of him than his dorm, which is often under the scrutiny of his dorm mates

Amadeus stopped bullying Ivon in the aftermath of Isolda’s kidnap. The taste of real violence and death has dulled the entertaining value of sharp words and silly duels. Amadeus turns his focus to bigger targets: necromancy, darker runes, deeper & more ruthless manipulations using money that will keep him in power. He’s also more focused on Riddle’s cause, and his runes projects also take up more of his times.

Wisdom and Power, to Amadeus, go so hand-in-hand that he’s never thought that it is more Ravenclaw than Slytherin. A trait he shares with Gryffindor is how passionate he can be, though no one really knows this except Bishop & Seneca. People do know that he hates easily though.

Motto for anything too sentimental is: React first, break down later

He was taught that “Power amazes, but money drives the world.” Despite this, he’s more attracted to raw power than wealth.

Doesn’t do well with criticism, especially from people he doesn’t care about.

Will initiate duels when called for.

He can convince himself to believe in false things.

Physical marking:

A horizontal scar on the side of his neck: A kitchen house-elf once went insane and injured him as a kid with a knife; said house-elf was killed but the knife was cursed so the scar doesn’t go away. Amadeus always illusioned it or wear clothes with collars.

Amadeus doesn’t quite remember this, but the incident is one of the few times that both of his parents touch him — keeping the wound close, healing, using salve, but he was too out of it to recall properly. He was seven.

Doesn’t have a fear of knives, but if someone is to lay the blade of one on his skin, that will kick in his fight-or-flight response and (depending on the situation) he will react.

Fashion:

He’s big on fashion

Style: Expensive, trendy but not gaudy, wear accessories to show off wealth (cufflinks, rings, modified ties, shoes, etc.)

Boggart:

Its form varies; but the two forms he’s faced is the burning of the Averys mansion (signifying the end of the line, which would be his fault) and the body of Isolda (recalling the kidnap incident).

Wand: spruce wood, 12-inch, dragon heartstring core

His spells are powerful and flamboyant, often attracting the attention of other people.

Amadeus has a sweet tooth.

He also cannot hold his liquor. He’s a touchy drunk.

He produced a Patronus once, during his fifth year, a hippogriff, unsurprisingly, but he hasn’t tried again since he killed Isolda’s kidnapper, telling himself it is unnecessary while actually thinking that he can’t do light magic now that he’s killed a wizard.

House Elf Treatment:

The Averys aren’t cruel but they do think that the elves are beneath their notice. The Averys, powerful as they are, does know that house-elf betrayals can be destructive, so they strive to inspire loyalty

He’s got no sense of self-preservation:

Because he thinks he’s invincible. Also he gets excited when faced with a challenge.

Likes to write but dislikes reading:

He actually doesn’t hate reading. He just has a very specific taste for a writing style & anything that doesn’t fit the bill makes him bored. He especially hates translations because they’re so dry.

He’s bad at defense magic - he likes to be on the offense & doesn’t guard himself much

The three P’s of Amadeus: Proud, Powerful, Private

He loves to low-key taunt people he dislikes, especially back when he was still harassing Ivon, and he lets his tongue lose when he’s angry. He also speaks his mind when he’s in the company of people he trusts.

He’s very ignorant when it comes to his emotions. This is by choice, not because he’s dense.

He (lowkey) admires Dumbledore because of how powerful the man is, and he secretly wishes that they are on better terms. Their ideologies, unfortunately, create a barrier between them.

To him, wisdom is …

Tom Riddle: knowing how to play the field, how to manipulate, how to be in the spotlight and claim it for yourself

Knowing everything - hence his attempt to branch out laterally

Naively, he also thinks being wise means never makes a mistake

Amadeus is verbose in writing but succinct in speech, touch-starved yet would never initiate body contact:

The Averys household is emotionally distant but not apathetic. Amadeus grows up understanding that display of affection is a bad thing, but sometimes he mistakes this with emotions are bad. His parents’ love for him is measured with material goods—their meanings, their quantities, their qualities—though of course, their meanings are exceedingly easy to misinterpret. Writing is an outlet of emotions in the Averys household—letters to their parents when they are abroad & when Amadeus is in school, notes delivered by house-elves (their mansion is very big)—thus, Amadeus shows himself more in writing, though it always seems to be otherwise. He masks his sentiments with pureblood politeness on paper, and only those close to him (his family) could read between the lines and understand.

He was taught the concept of formal presentation when he was six and learned how to check his speech. He became more succinct and direct or persuasive and round-about when needed.

Half of the time what he says isn’t really what he thinks/feels, but he has a habit of convincing himself that what he says is always the truth, so it becomes a falsehood in him that he never notices, and from this born his hypocrisy.

The Averys household frowns upon body contact except when absolutely necessary, and so Amadeus grows up, without noticing, touch-starved. He’s hyper-aware of the distance he puts between him and other people and the casual touches he received. He, therefore, treasures his moments with Seneca, but also are scared of them, of the body contact, of physical displays of affection that he knows nothing about. He’s always hesitant, testing the boundaries, reading the signs (sometimes over-analyzing them), always so scared that he’ll fuck up somehow.

His Runes Experiment Room:

Same wing that houses the Ancient Runes classrooms.

Approximately U-shaped

Left room is for the actual experiment, connected by a hallway to a sort of “office” on the right where all the theories/writings occurred.

Office:

Big blackboard filled with maths & diagrams

Big wooden desks filled with papers, very messy, on top of which sat …

Letters sent by Isolda

A pot of talking cactus, sent by Isolda

Lots of candy boxes ordered from Hogsmeade or sent by his mother

Two bookshelves overfilled with books; papers; chalks of different materials; boxes of preserved animal blood; rulers & measurement devices; bowls of different parts of different animals scattered around; a locked metal chest of rarer materials

When there are visitors, he puts everything personal to him in a trunk in the corner of the room

Two sofas for guests

Experimental room:

Kept clean & in pristine condition

Two Parts

A square part of the room in the middle, sectioned off by magic & physical means (eg: salt, powdered thestral fur, etc.):

This is where the floor diagrams occur, for more complex projects. Experiments here are frequently unstable.

The rest: There’s a trunk of gemstones + other objects for blood curses; there’s a long desk lining the wall with tools for carving, burning, melting, writing, and holding on top

He usually levitates the object or holds them by physical means as he carves runes on it

The long table is also used to deconstruct runes done by other people

People who have seen this room: Riddle, Bishop, Seneca, Ogden  

Attitude toward teachers:

Ogden: already mentioned

Dumbledore: professional admiration. Amadeus secretly idolizes him because Dumbledore is too Badass not to, though he thinks Dumbledore is too soft on Muggleborns.

Rakepick: doesn’t like since she likes the Gryffs

Edgecomb: likes her tattoos; on good terms because Isolda will be going to Beauxbatons; tries too hard not to ask her questions about schooling & dorming over there

Dippet: nice man, not useful but it helps that he likes Riddle

Fairbanks: likes her for various reasons. She went to Durmstrang is number one. She’s intense and, to him, she has a real appreciation for the true nature of magic. That she’s a Herbology professor irks him — he wishes she was teaching Dark Arts instead. Imagine the kind of spells she would’ve taught!

Isadora: annoying because of the homework

William Brown: muggle lover, ew

Sylvia: doesn’t care

Astrid: doesn’t like divination because he’s not a seer, but on good terms with Astrid because of her views

Binns: doesn’t care, except when his lessons mentions something related to the Averys

In summary: Amadeus is an ambitious individual who grew up in a distant household. He experiences lots of emotions despite being groomed not to. He is smart about many things except himself. He has the ability to rationalize his feelings but chooses to ignore them. He can exert great control over himself and he chooses his words carefully. He is proud and powerful and knows exactly what he wants — but what he wants may not be what he needs in the end.

Playlist: here

[missilekidding]

☄ / 🔮 / 🌐 :)

Gah I had so much fun with these! Again, so sorry I didn’t get around to them sooner, but I hope they were worth waiting for!

☄ - NewsAGoGo

To begin with I need to say that my headcanons for this wonderful lesbian are HEAVILY influenced by @neon-rat‘s NewsAGoGo tag cause that shit is SO GOOD.

- So we got our lesbian scene queen here. She’s had about four thousand different hair cuts and colours and not a single one has ever looked good, but that’s sort of the point. She is CONSTANTLY shaving bits off her head and has most of her scalp tattooed. Frequently seen in a variety of extremely ugly green, yellow or orange trench coats and totally impractical knee length boots, and manages to pull off the ‘I literally wouldn’t recognise good fashion if it punched me in the face’ look brilliantly. This is mostly because of her charisma and confidence in personally loving her own look, and besides, she is a TERRIFYING motherfucker so most runners wouldn’t have the guts to tell her they don’t like her look anyway.

- When I say shes tattooed I mean she is TATTOOED. Most of her body is covered. They aren’t generally big pieces either - a large piece on her upper arm, chest and one thigh, but otherwise covered in tons of smaller pieces, individual from each other and symbolic of vastly different things. Her favourite is probably any of the pieces her girlfriend, DJ Hot Chimp, has given her, and even if Hot Chimp wasn’t genuinely one of the best tattoo artists in the zones she would adore the fact that it’s her girl’s iconic ocean patterns that rest across her rib cage.

- She can be pretty blunt, and it often comes across as rude - she will always speak her mind and totally tends to miss the changes in conversations when people are hurt. She can also get a little heated too when she’s passionate, but also very short when she doesn’t care, so she can be a little intense for many joys to deal with. That’s not, however, to say that she is unkind. If NewsAGoGo is anything, its a good fucking friend. She is fiercely loyal to Doctor Death Defying and her friends at the radio station, and to Hot Chimp, and she easily makes up for anything mean that she may accidentally say in the passion she shows to the people she trusts.

- Before they settled either with or near Doctor D in the radio station, News, Hot Chimp, Cherri and Pony all ran together - it only lasted for about six months once they escaped the City, but it was probably the most fun any of them had. They were some of the earliest killjoys to get out, so the rules of the Zones were much less defined, meaning that setting fire to buildings for the sake of it and driving fast enough to crash every single car they found was fine - the precious nature of these things really weren’t set out or apparent, and the desire for chaos which plagues any runner fresh out of the City went uncontrolled in them.

🔮 - The Phoenix Witch

AH! My absolutely favourite character in the universe! Resident Goth Deity!

- She isn’t called the Phoenix Witch for no reason. The woman has mad power. Raising the dead and making random shit vanish type power. Mostly she takes this very seriously - a nasty side effect of prophetic visions is that she can see the role she, and others, need to play in the big picture, and so her somewhat controversial choices to raise, or not raise joys from the dead plays on her conscience a lot. It’s not clear where she got her power from other than the fact that it took her years of practise to gain it, and that the more powerful she becomes the less she seems to actually be seen.

- This then means that very few living runners have actually seen her. In the earlier days it was more common - she seemed to actually conform to the idea that having a physical form means that you had to exist somewhere at all times, so seeing her around the zones was rare, but possible. Many of those ‘joys who did see her wandering across the land however were ghosted, and those who do claim to have seen her in the later years tend to say that she can just appear at will, and so this lack of knowledge and sightings of her, paired with the frequent stories of the impossible things she can just do really gained her her status as big fucking mythical cryptid across the zones.

- Know I included this in my last Phoenix Witch headcanon post but it’s a headcanon I am willing to Die for - She is Doctor Death Defying’s twin. They were raised together and although they don’t see each other very often cause like. crazy zone happenings. they are still incredibly close and look out for each other. They also fuck around and indirectly make each other’s lives extremely difficult on purpose to piss the other one off because even if your sister is essentially a deity you can still make sure that she wakes up to her least favourite song playing on the radio once every week, and even if your brother is the most revered killjoy in the zones you can give him weird fucking intense dreams that fully convince him that yes, he is in fact a large marsupial, at two in the morning.

- Her ability to shape shift was something that kind of just happened. very suddenly. She was kind of just sitting there one day, thinking about how inconvenient it was to be a human person with like arms and legs and a torso, when suddenly she just wasn’t anymore. It was pretty surprising to say the least, to no longer have to exist in corporeal form, but both personally and practically it was pretty awesome, and after some practise she worked out how to change into a raven, which while also looking totally rad allowed her to go and sit outside Doctor D’s radio station at ungodly hours of the morning and shriek really loud before making a quick get away.

🌐 - One of my OCs

Okay lets talk Grenade. My fucking weird dumbass bitch oc. Love her.

- She has never lived in the Battery - she’s originally from around London, but when shit Went Down in the UK her family moved as far as they could - into the area that later became the zones. Her mother moved into the City in the early days but Grenade’s apprehension to follow proved pretty fucking lucky after Better Living started dropping bombs on the zones and their true nature was revealed. During this time she spent a while running with this group of aggressive dudes and trying to convince herself that she was totally straight™, but she quickly realised that this group were actually pretty awful morally, and left, later realising that girls exist and reassessing her entire world view.

-  She is pretty covered in tattoos (notice the running theme in my headcanons for most female killjoys, I’m gay sue me), with her favourite being either the snake around her forearm or the large floral pieces over her hips and thighs. Her time being a general nuisance to Dracs has proved a little detrimental to the larger pieces on her body - a particularly violent run in left most of her chest piece totally unrecognisable, but the scarring itself still has meaning to her so it doesn’t bother her too much.

- She is often seen running around under the full moon, titties out, praising the Goddess. Just cause you live in the desert doesn’t mean you can’t still do your crazy witch shit and Grenade is definitely extremely spiritual. Due to this she also makes charms for runners she meets - getting her hands on actual supplies for spell bags is hard, but she makes do with what she can find and invests a lot of time into sigil magic to make up for it.

- Her and Lithium (@neon-rat’s OC) were the first members of their group, and met shortly after Better Living stopped dropping pig bombs when the two of them ended up trying to kill the same annoying SCARECROW agent together. They got on amazingly mostly because they are both fucking batshit crazy, so the idea of spending three weeks hiding in the City and just repetitively stealing all the fruit from the previously mentioned SCARECROW agent’s house before setting it on fire was one that made perfect sense to them both. They were originally gonna call their group Dykes! but realised that DOGS, or ‘Damn, Occult Girls are Sexy’ is funnier, and sounds like it should stand for something way cooler than it does.

[tyrantisterror]

Scattered Thoughts from a Second Viewing of Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom

Part 2 of ??? for today’s Jurassic Park thoughts.  Part 1 is here.

Aw yeah, it’s a scattered thoughts post!  That’s like a review, except lazier and harder to make sense of!  YAY

I’m gonna break this down into the Good, the Bad, and the Unnecessary Headcanons.  I’m also going to put a break because 1. this will probably get long and 2. THIS DEFINITELY CONTAINS SPOILERS

SPOILERS BELOW!  YOU WERE WARNED!  TWICE!

The Good

I should note that most of these positive points have an implied “...but...” at the end that will connect to points in The Bad.  I’m not going to put those “but”s in, though, because I don’t want to undermine the fact that these positives DO exist.

This movie is pretty solid if you only focus on Blue’s arc.  She is by far the most consistent character in the film, and is at least tied for the strongest character arc if not the outright winner.  Great for fans of monsters-as-characters. 

Maisie, the little girl, is possibly tied with Blue for best character in the film, or at least a close second.  She’s both consistent in her characterization AND develops as a character as the story goes on - something no other human character in the movie can claim!  I’d say she’s the best child character in the franchise, but that’s such a depressingly low bar that it would feel like damning with faint praise (but she is though).  So instead I’ll say that she’s one of the best child characters in film.  That’s a big statement to make, but dammit that child actress deserves some fucking props.

They rerailed Owen Grady’s character a bit - he’s much more Goofy Fun Loving Chris Pratt this time around, and much less Super Macho Tough Guy Army Man Who Trains Dinosaurs.  It makes him a bit of a mess of the character, but if we view the Owen Grady of this movie as a completely different character from the Owen Grady of Jurassic World, he’s actually pretty likable.

The cinematography and the editing of this movie is, as I said before, absolutely fucking stellar.  The chase scenes are both beautifully and creatively shot, doing great work at making dinosaurs both terrifying and wondrous to behold in a day and age where it’s very hard to wow people with special effects.  The action scenes are both interesting AND easy to follow - most movies these days have to choose one or the other.  Even the quiet moments are well shot and edited, held back only by, y’know, the dialogue.  And the characters.  And the plot.  It’s still a mess, but it’s a mess that was directed well.

There are so many clever homages to past horror films in this flick - not just the Jurassic Park movies, either.  The Indoraptor’s chase of Maisie references both Nosferatu and The Haunting (1963), for example, and while I never would have expected those movies to be referenced in a Jurassic Park movie... it actually works?  Like, really well?  It’s great and creative.  There is a genuine artistic spark behind a lot of the things in this movie and that has to be acknowledged.

That Brachiosaurus scene has immense emotional power.  If you weren’t emotionally moved by it to some degree, either 1. you hated this movie before it even began and refused to allow it even the slightest chance of being good, or 2. you’re some sort of heartless monster who feels nothing for animals.

The Indoraptor is sort of like Emperor Palpatine, in that he’s a flat character whose only motivation seems to be “I really love doing evil things,” and yet that somehow... works?  Like, the execution takes that flimsy motivation and makes something really compelling.  He’s a flat villain, but he’s so delighted by his explicitly evil actions that you can’t help but be charmed.  The Indoraptor is probably the most straight forwardly-evil character in the entire franchise, and it’s delightful to watch.

The lady playing the Paleo-Veterinarian gave a very good snarky performance despite the limitations of the writing.  I would like to see that actress in more things.

Rexie got several chances to punish the wicked, and that makes the child in me happy.

I got to see a lot of scenes of dinosaurs fighting each other and killing evil rich people, and that was satisfying on a primal level.

There are two excellent story concepts in this movie that could each make one really unique movie if they were given focus.  A movie about people rescuing dinosaurs from an exploding island has an inherent drama to it and would be like no film I can think of before.  A movie about people running from an escaped dinosaur in a spooky old mansion also has an inherent drama to it and is unlike any film I can think of.  These two concepts could each individually make for a really great movie.

The Bad

There’s a Red Letter Media video about the Alien prequel film Prometheus that just consists of one of the reviewers asking a long list of questions raised by sloppy, inconsistent, and overall bad storytelling that hampers that movie despite its fairly decent direction.  It’s really funny if you’ve seen the movie, and you can find it here.  I mention it because a voice in the back of my head was slowly assembling my own version of that video while I was giving this movie my second watch because... because damn, dude, this script is just ridiculously sloppy.

You could also... man, fuck me, but you could actually make a Cinema Sins style takedown of this movie without having to make shit up and willfully misinterpret the film like they do in 99% of their videos.  And you all know how much I fucking hate Cinema Sins, so when I say their style of criticism/”humor” can actually work here, you know I’m not speaking lightly.

I’m not going to do either of those things but I do want to focus on a couple examples of this movie’s sloppy writing because, like, it NEEDS to be addressed in detail, y’know?  Or at least I feel the need to address it.

I mean a lot of things when I say it’s “sloppy,” but the jist is that it often has characters behave not according to their own motivations, personalities, etc., but according to the needs of the plot.  So too does, like, everything else - dinosaurs, the volcano, physics, lava, you name it.  The villains get probably the worst of it, but Claire Dearing and Comedy Relief IT Guy get it pretty bad too.

Ok, so, like, Zia is a Paleo-Veterinarian, right?  What the hell makes that different than a normal Veterinarian?  It can’t be that you exclusively work with dinosaurs, because Zia explicitly says she has never seen a dinosaur in person.  Wouldn’t... wouldn’t that make her just a normal veterinarian, then?  How can she know how to heal these animals without ever, like, studying one in person?  It’s like they wanted to do some world building and so wrote that Paleo-Veterinarians are, like, a thing, but also wanted to give a heroic character a moment where they look at dinosaurs for the first time with awe, and decided to do both moments with the same character.  Like, they couldn’t do it with Comedy Relief IT Guy because his whole schtick is that he’s desperately afraid of literally everything and everyone, because a guy who’s scared of things is funny (?).  They couldn’t do it with Claire because she’s seen fucking dinosaurs before, and so has Owen.  They don’t bring Maisie to the island so she’s out, and everyone else is evil, so Paleo-Vet gets the “Holy Fucking Shit It’s a Dinosaur” moment, even though giving her that moment makes no fucking sense for a person who’s whole reason for being here is that she knows how to heal dinosaurs, which is probably pretty fucking hard to do if you’ve never fucking seen a dinosaur before.  You see?  You see what I mean when I say the characters have no consistency, that they do things as the plot demands, even when it makes no sense for their character?  This is but one of many examples.

And it’s sadly the same for the dinosaurs.  Look, I love seeing dinosaurs eat people because I’m a little demented, and I know most of you do too, because all humans have at least a small desire to see wild animals eat people we dislike.  It’s our nature.  But the emotional core of this movie’s premise is the idea that we should want to see these creatures alive - that for all the danger they present, they are worth saving.  This film needed to establish that these creatures are worthy of our sympathy.  It’s pretty sad, then, that so much of the movie shows the dinosaurs as being bloodthirsty monsters whose primary desire - ranked even above their own self preservation - is to kill and eat during every waking moment of their lives.

Take the Baryonyx’s big scene - the Baryonyx, Claire, and Comedy Relief IT Guy are trapped in a building as fucking lava drips down around them.  This would be a great moment to establish these animals are living creatures who enjoy living.  A real animal would not spend its time trying to eat two humans here - it would try to escape the room filling with FUCKING LAVA that it’s trapped in.  And that’s what should have happened, both logically AND thematically.  Our heroes see this big carnivorous dinosaur enter and are worried, but instead of attacking it tries to claw its way out of the room.  It’s as scared as they are, and even shoots them a desperate, pleading glance when they find an exit that’s too small for it to fit through.  It would establish that, terrifying as these dinosaurs are, they just want to live.  We would then feel justified in siding with the people risking their lives to save these creatures.  INSTEAD, the Baryonyx spends the whole scene trying to murder them even when there are clearly other problems that should take priority over that, namely the fact that it’s trapped in a room FUCKING FILLED WITH LAVA.

Almost immediately after this is a scene where a bunch of herbivores stampede past our heroes, with a Carnotaurus stopping mid-flight to try and eat the humans.  PRIORITIES, Carnotaurus!  The Carnotaurus then stops mid-pursuit to inexplicably attack another fleeing dinosaur, which shakes him off, and then goes back to menacing our heroes while the lava grows EVER CLOSER.  This... this isn’t how animals fucking behave, dudes.  This is a textbook case of treating a monster as a plot device rather than a character - there is no reason, not plausible motivation for the Carnotaurus to menace our heroes at this time.  It is a menace because the plot demanded it.  Why the fuck would you save creatures that would prefer to slaughter humans at the cost of dying in fucking lava mere seconds afterwards?

Also the T.rex then pops out of nowhere to kick the shit out of the Carnotaurus and save the heroes, again, WHILE LAVA IS MERE SECONDS AWAY FROM THEM.  To people who aren’t like me and thus don’t think of Rexie as a character, this would seem to be another example of dinosaurs in this movie being suicidally violent.

Later, after escaping Rexie and the Carnotaurus just in time for the fucking lava to almost catch up to them, our heroes join the stampeding dinosaurs.  An allosaurus is among them and inexplicably tries to attack out heroes and gets killed by a falling rock as a result of its inexplicable decision to pause in its escape for the sake of killing people.  FUCKING HELL.

Like... this isn’t just me nitpicking.  This actively undermines the entire fucking story.  Even Jurassic Park III gave its dinosaurs consistent goddamn motives.  Jesus Christ, this movie’s writing made me cite Jurassic Park III as a positive example!

Colin Trevorrow was clearly pissed that people rightly noted the weird and extremely prevalent sexism of both Jurassic World (which he wrote and directed) and The Book of Henry (which he only directed), because he threw in some of the clunkiest “Girl Power!” performative feminism moments I have ever seen in this movie.  And before you say “Colin Trevorrow didn’t direct this one though!” please check IMDB because while he didn’t direct it he still wrote the fucking screenplay.  The moments that “address the criticism” he received are so blatant and ham-fisted that they feel like something an Anti-SJW blogger would point out to prove that Political Correctness is killing our culture.  They’re sort of equivalent to a “I’m not racist!  I have black friends!” argument - “I’m not sexist - look, I had this character tell a man how capable is after he lightly brought up how this might be dangerous for her!”  There’s a moment like that in Jurassic Park too, to be fair, but it’s fucking subtle and understated by comparison.

There are so many great scenes and monster designs in this movie, and there are two plot concepts that would make for SUCH GOOD films if they were properly developed, and the director had a clear love for them all as well as the artistic skill to back it up. J.A. Bayona deserved to make a great Jurassic Park movie.  That Brachiosaurus death scene deserved to be in a great Jurassic Park movie.  Blue, the Indoraptor, Maisie, and the actress who played Zia deserve to be in a great Jurassic Park movie.  So much of this film deserved the right to be lauded and praised.  So it’s so, so, SO frustrating that the whole of Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom falls utterly short of the sum of its parts.

The Unnecessary Headcanons

I’ve seen some people try to explain the flaws in this movie away with their headcanon interpretations and, like... that’s not how stories work, though?  Like, that doesn’t remove the flaws that exist - at best all it does is show that the flaws could have been fixed with some thoughtful revision.  It reinforced the fact that this movie, taken on its own, needs to be fixed.

That said, here are my headcanons for some of the weird shit that happens in this movie.

We’re, like, 99% of the way to having the text of this series explicitly state that T.rexes can smell out evil and intentionally seek to destroy it.  Almost every scene Rexie has in this movie shows her coming out of nowhere to punish the wicked and inadvertently save the righteous.  It’s still in the realm of subtext but, like, if it keeps happening we’re going to have to declare Rexie a literal agent of a higher cosmic power.  Jurassic Park T.rexes can smell the sin on you.

I’m pretty sure the nonsensical blood transfusion that made Blue’s blood “impure” and thus kept Dr. Wu from using her for gene splicing also gave her Rexie’s action hero powers, like how getting bit by a spider turned Peter Parker into a superhero.  That’s why Blue instinctively knew how to safely survive an explosion via turning her back to it, and also why she got to do the Rexie thing and heroically save the humans from the evil dinosaur at the last minute.

Considering the fact that the Indoraptor is just, like, Explicitly Evil, I think Dr. Wu’s motivations may be less about weaponizing dinosaurs and making money, and more about trying to isolate the Evil Gene, a gene that makes things evil.  Sadly, the only people with money to finance this project have the Evil Gene as well, and so Dr. Wu is forced to make all these dinosaurs and monsters while secretly researching the Evil Gene on the side.  He hopes that in time he will be able to destroy the Evil Gene, and it clearly involves finding its opposite - hence the Evil Destroying T.rexes and the obsession with raising a hybrid based off of the Explicitly Benevolent velociraptor Blue.  Dr. Wu dreams of literally curing evil, and dinosaurs are the method he has been forced to use to pursue this dream.

[fyrapartnersearch]

Cockadoodledoo, (M//M)

Hey! I’m Jonesy! I’ve posted on here before a few months ago, and I spoke with a number of people about starting RPs, and then some shit happened where I was literally unable to get to the computer, thus vanished for a while. For… four months. Yeah. (Anyone want to know what it’s like to wake up from a coma and get in a fist fight with a nurse because you have no idea what’s going on? Just ask.) Anyhoo, if I had something started with you, or even if we were just talking about starting something, and you want to hit me up again, please do! For time’s sake, I’m just gonna copy/paste part of my last advert, because… coughlazycough.

 I’m in my late 20’s and am looking for M// literate (advanced) rp partners, ages 25+ please. I do not fade to black or avoid mature themes. My writing style has a casual feel to it, but I use proper grammar, spelling, and punctuation, and I prefer that you have a good grasp on this, as well. I write third person paragraph style, and am looking for someone who likes world building and writing three dimensional characters. You know what I mean. If our characters walk into a town, I want to know who else is there, how the buildings are painted, what the air smells like. Take me to it. Paint me a worrrrrrddd pictuuuuureeee. If your character has a Maserati, I want to know how he treats it, how he drives it, and if he has that kind of money, why on EARTH would a Maserati be his car of choice?

 Absolute No’s: ….Well crap, I can never think of these until someone asks.

 Things I don’t like so much:

-Winey characters

-Super young characters

-Unrealistically serious characters

-Too much drama

-Posts that don’t move the story along (sometimes this is ok but not EVERY post…)

-Short posts.

-Spanish dudes (HA just kidding I LOVE spanish dudes.)

 Things I like:

-Spanish dudes

-All dudes

-Size differences

-Humor (Didn’t see that coming, did you?)

-Realistic dialogue*

-Open communication

 Genres I like:

-Sci fi

-Urban

-Steampunk

-Apocalyptical

-Dystopian

-Adventure

-Space stuff (This is its own genre, don’t argue with me.)

-Mild horror

 What I’m really craving right now is to use my character Ashby, and to find him a partner. I do have some other plots I’d like to write, or if you got something completely different and you want to run it by me, let me know! Worse that can happen is I’d say no. And then hunt you down and put sugar in your gas tank. (But mostly just say no.)

 So, Ashby. He’s a very complex character, thus kind of hard to explain while keeping it brief. Ashby Thornton Foster is a real strange creature. Not just because he’s very proper and likes to keep a position as the head butler in a household even though he probably has enough resources to never have to work ever. He’s tall, painfully handsome, with round antique glasses, and auburn hair. Sharp tongue, but can be a little daffy if you catch him off guard. He collects frightening tea pots, has been learning how to cook for 9 billion years but his chicken stew will probably send you to the can for the rest of the night, is excellent with mechanics and spends a lot of his free time tinkering, and has read almost every book ever written but can’t remember what happened in the last chapter of the one he’s currently working on. I should mention that this character is not human. He is a specific species of being that I created myself. I’ll go into it if you’re interested, but the basics are that he has handsomely jagged teeth, large amber eyes, and claw like nails that often lead him to be mistaken as a vampire, however when he shifts out of his human form, he looks more like a sphynx cat and a lady got together. That sounds awful, but he’s actually quite exquisite. (NOT a furry. He just looks a tad strange and has interesting legs.) Ashby is very sweet natured but runs a strict household. He is well respected and well loved.

 Ashby has a dark side to him that’s very calculated, very… intentional, if you know what I mean. He has the ability to make you the happiest person alive, but can turn around and cause you a lot of pain and suffering if you give him reason to. Battling with his darker side is a constant struggle. As far as a romantic interest for him, I usually play him as a switch, however he likes pretty masculine men (or beasties) who have the ability to dominate HIM because he doesn’t often run across many who can do so. (And I don’t just mean with sex. He can physically f*ck you up.) I would love to find him someone who can both talk him out of those times when shit gets a little too dark, but can also overpower him if need be.

 Usually, I play Ashby in a steampunk setting, and he’s the head butler of a household he runs pretty tightly, but I can also play him in other settings. He translates well. So if you’d like to Rp him in another setting, let me know! This character comes with an identical twin (Molocai, who prob won’t appear) and a Soul Eater character, who sets up camp in whatever town he settles in due to being promised his soul whenever he shuffles off his mortal coil. They’re best friends. (It’s a long story.)

 Here were some of the other stories I had ideas for, but if none of them tickle your pickle and you think we’d be a good RP match, let me know, anyway and we can do something else!

Made for one another:

Could fall under sci fi, apocalyptical, dystopian, adventure, hell it could fall under all of them. I have a really loose idea for this one. Two characters are genetically made for one another. Not romantically, but as in two parts that make up a whole. Both are genetically engineered to do something different, but both of their abilities need to be combined for whatever final outcome to happen. (The outcome being what they were created for.) Reasoning behind this was that maybe one person having both abilities, or the one ability that the both of them make up, would overload their system and kill them. Or significantly harm them in some way. Thus, two genetically engineered people were created.

The loose plot I had for this was that maybe one character has escaped the facility that created them. (Escaped a long time ago, perhaps.) This facility has some major unethical and downright inhumane practices (like lab growing people.) Character A. we’ll call him, decides to destroy the place, maybe from the inside out. (Perhaps he’s some kind of mercenary or rogue whatnot, living his life in secrecy so no one from said facility finds him, blah blah.) Ever see Alien Resurrection? With that scene where Ripley goes into the lab and finds all the failed experiments?.... No? Just me? Okay. Anyway, so while Character A. is torching the place, he finds Character B, who is the only experiment alive. He can’t just leave him there to die, so he takes him with him. That’s how they meet, but I don’t have much else for a plot for this story, other than that I see Character A as being kind of an asshole so they struggle a lot and much later they discover they’re literally made for one another.

 Mad Max:

This would be sort of based on the Mad Max world (as in the 2015 movie, even though I do so love the originals) though not using any of the characters, places, or… you know, anything. The world is a wasteland, but it’s not oil/gasoline that’s the hot commodity, it’s water. The wasteland is filled with different tribes, none of them very nice unless you belong to one of them. This pairing would be a character that’s kind of like Max, a lone wolf who belongs to no tribe and wanders, and…. I dunno, I guess he would be a POW? He’s a warrior from another tribe that was captured. Character A stops (cautiously) in one of the territories to trade for water and supplies. Character B is pretty roughed up and knows he’ll eventually end up dying if he doesn’t get away somehow, so his main objective is to get Character A to trade for him. Obviously, this eventually happens. Character A discovers that Character B has something that would be useful to him (maybe it’s just knowledge of mechanics and whatnot) so he ends up trading for him. Plot twist! They end up HATING one another. And maybe Character A finds out that Character B was lying all along and can’t really do the thing Character A traded him for, however now they’re stuck together, because they’re crossing the wasteland.

 Space Pirates (Totally not nerdy AT ALL.)

I have a space captain. He’s an alien. He has a super cool space ship and a super cool crew. His species is rarely seen in this part of the galaxy, usually they are a very secretive race living in deep, deep space, that remain secluded, however Janka has been exiled, and now creates a lot of havoc and headaches for anyone he encounters. I have a real old descrip of him from… jesus, like 2010 that I haven’t updated, but I’ll send it if he sounds interesting! Anyway, he’s a sarcastic, lazy sh*tface, kinda pretty gross without meaning to be, but he’s a real loveable character. Likes blowing things up. Kind of clumsy, which isn’t the best thing for someone who’s built like he is. He’s well known in space ports all over, so he sticks to the real shady ones, where he’s somewhat popular. This character comes with an entire crew, and bonus interesting genitalia. He really needs someone to take care of him (emotionally.) Very hard headed when it comes to relationships (“What? No, I didn’t get you anything for your birthday. You said not to get you anything.”) but when he falls for someone, he falls hard.

 *Please note that all of my characters are usually in their late twenties or older with VERY few that are mid-twenties. I also do not play with younger characters, and prefer them to be around the same age category.

 *Let me explain about the realistic dialogue. Two OC’s walk into a bar. My OC walks up to the bartender and says “Ay, Sugartits, I’ll have the usual.” Your OC says “I will have a beer.” Unless your OC is either a.) An android or b.) Two 12 year olds in a big coat, or c.) Horribly constipated, he’d better say something an actual human being would say. “I’ll have a beer.” “Gimme a beer.” “Just whatever you got on tap.” “Uh… Beer’s fine.” Don’t make your character sound like they’re reading a bad script.

 If I haven’t scared you off, shoot me an email at Geisterkommandant@hotmail.com

My RP mediums are usually Skype, Email, and I can be persuaded into Discord.

 And just to clarify. Gay RP. Plot before Porn. Thank you

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #134

“i got detention ‘cuz i made a face; nobody believed me that it’s stuck that way.”

If you were to die today would your life be complete?  No. How good is Coca-Cola?  It's my second-favorite soda. Who was the last person you took a picture with?
  My niece Aubree <3 Do you have a bad temper? 
 No. Do you know anyone who is pregnant right now?
  One acquaintance, one old friend off the top of my head. Have you ever had someone pick you up off the ground and carry you?  Mom when I passed out. If you were in the hospital, do you think any of your exes would come see you?  Girt probably would, and he's the only one I wouldn't have a problem with visiting. If you were kicked out of your house, would the last person you texted take you in?  I'm sure they would, but it's more realistic I'd live with my dad. If you were immortal for a day, what would you do?  Skydive. What fictional place would you most like to go to?  Yo can I go to Azeroth. Who has impressed you most with what they’ve accomplished?  UHHHHHH.  I'm honestly not quite sure.  But Mark is like super high on the list, if not #1.  I'm not well-informed on a lot of people's accomplishments lajsfdaowe. What’s something you like to do the old-fashioned way?  Hmmmm.  Good question. What is one thing you really want but can’t afford?  Lmao dude I want so many expensive things atm. What is the most impressive thing you know how to do?  I almost snorted reading this question because like do you honestly expect something impressive of me.  I... guess I understand Sony Vegas well? What are some of the turning points in your life?  Uhhhh meeting my ex, the divorce, discovering my passion for photography, the breakup, re-uniting with Dad, r e c o v e r y. What’s your cure for hiccups?  NOTHING.  NOTHING WORKS. Don’t you think it’d be cool to see a colossal squid?  FUCKING NOPE THEY ARE SPAWNS OF THE NIGHTMARE REALM. What kind of steak do you prefer?  When I ate meat, I liked medium well. Has anyone ever cheated on their significant other with you?  Yes, allow me to (not) tell you about my stupid 12-year-old self. Are you fascinated by outer space?  *cue the Mark "Space is Cool" mix* Do you answer your phone when it’s a number you don’t recognize? Never. When washing your hands, do you wet your hands or put soap on first?  Put the soap on. When was the hardest you ever cried? What was the circumstance?  The night of the breakup.  I had left the house to walk to Jason's, and Mom got in the car and kept driving in front of me to stop me (I was too practically catatonic to run).  Eventually gave up, she drove me home, and when she opened the door, it was my goal to run to the kitchen and slit my throat, but the moment I made the action to run, she pretty much tackled me and I sobbed my lungs out for like 30 minutes.  Fuck that entire night. Who were your last 3 Facebook messages from and what do they say?  "lol but hey thats the world we live in lol well goodnight honey and i hope to speak to u again" from Leslie, "How quaint O:" from Girt, "Its okay :)" from Amanda. Who was the last person to comment on your Facebook status? What does the comment say?  Sara saying "YEP" when I shared a picture of straight people dating versus lesbians and it was spot-on. Which do you use the most, smiley faces, kisses or hearts?  Faces, probs. Do you like sweet or salty popcorn? Ohhhh both.  But I've gotta side with salty. Have you ever had to put your hand over someone’s mouth to keep them quiet?  Once. Have you ever fed a wild animal?  Yes. The last time you packed, where were you going?  Sara's. Do you believe in astrology?  Definitely not. Do you have an accent?  Not really, but you can pick up a southern tone with some words.  Example, my "your" sounds more like "yer," usually. Has someone ever made you a Build-A-Bear?  No. Do you sing in the shower?  I have been a tad bit lately...  I used to never. Are you satisfied with your current camera? My phone camera is SHIT, and I need a new actual camera.  55-200mm lens is broken, the other one's automatic focus setting is and I'm not great at manual focus. Have you ever been in a choir?  In Catholic church, yes. Does it bother you to have dirt on the bottom of your bare feet?  Y E S Has anyone ever told you that you have a big butt?  I literally have the flattest ass of any female you'll ever meet. Do you often skip breakfast? Pretty much daily now, yeah.  I'm fasting and don't eat until 11, so breakfast's passed. Last person who drove you somewhere (besides your parents)? Nicole. Who last grabbed your behind?  I'm sure it was Chelsea being her crazy self. Do you eat raw cookie dough?  Yeah dukes up salmonella. Do you watch Grey’s Anatomy?  No. Would you survive in prison?  No.  I would find one way or another to kill myself. Do you drink? Smoke? Do drugs? Why, or why not?  Rarely, no, no.  I drink usually in celebratory settings to loosen up some and sometimes just because I like the flavor of weak, fruity alcohol.  Smoking's gross, drugs are ew. What was the first cigarette you ever smoked?  Never smoked. Are you scared about the end of the world?  If I'mma be in it, hell yeah.  But it's not something I actively worry about because I don't think it'll happen in my lifetime. Do you prefer landmarks or street names when being given directions?  Landmarks.  I don't know street names for shit. Do you read the prologues in the beginnings of books?  Yes. Where is one place that you’d never be caught dead in?  Never be caught dead in, ever... uhhhh... nothing's coming to mind right now.  Oh wait.  Probably a strip club. Apple Jacks: yay or nay?  YAY. Do you have a favorite Scooby-Doo movie?  Yeah, but I don't remember which one. ;-;  It's that one where the girl says her name is Mary Jane and Shaggy goes, "That's, like, my favorite name."  Totally went over my head as a kid lmao. Have you ever met a guy for coffee?  No, I hate coffee anyway. Who is your pet most attached to in your family?  Teddy's most attached to me, I'm the only one who has any physical contact with Venus and she trusts me, Bentley is bonded with Mom, and Mitsu is still apprehensive of anyone. Does the last person you shared a bed with mean anything to you?  The whole world and more. What do you normally do when you’ve had a really bad day?  Cry, have a shit attitude occasionally, a nap is common, talk to Sara, binge my favorite Markiplier videos. When is the next time you will wear a dress?  Hm.  Maybe this summer if I'm confident enough in my body by then lmao. On the main page on YouTube, what’re the three recommended videos? 8-BitGaming beating SCP: Containment Breach, a DanAndPhilGAMES video of Golf With Friends, and then an 8-BitRyan vid of the full release of Raft. Do you know anyone from Canada? Yeah, my former roommate's ex. Are thongs sexy? Yeah, but oml I know I couldn't wear one. Did you grow up in a healthy environment? I wouldn't say "healthy," no.  My dad was an alcoholic at the time, parents always fought, and our neighborhood was dangerous. Heavy rain or heatwave? Heavy rain, easily.  Fuck the heat. You have a choice to shoot your father or die, what would you do?  I hate these damn questions, but I'd rather die.  My father deserves the longest and happiest life possible without the betrayal of his daughter. If killing yourself meant saving the world, would you?  Yeah.  It's a lose-lose situation for me; if I didn't, I'd still die if the world's gonna end. Who knows your most darkest memory or secret?  Jason and Mom should know, and whoever read those specific surveys. Who was the last person you almost went out with?  Meh.  Juan.  We talked and hung out once in... late 2016 I think and I was pretty confused as to how I felt about him.  Meanwhile, he hasn't kept it a secret in the least he's liked me since freshman year.  He's always treated me like a gentleman should, but I know the dark and disgusting parts of him.  Glad I decided against it. The Rolling Stones, Led Zeppelin, or The Beatles?  Stones. What does your grandma call you?  Just my name. And what do you call your grandmother?  Grammy. Would you rather have a pool or a hot tub?  Pool. Do you think ‘everything bagels’ are disgusting?  No, but I have to be in the mood for one. Do you find serial killers fascinating?  I wouldn't call them as a whole fascinating, but what has to be going on in their brains to create such grotesque desires and creativities. Do you have high blood pressure?  No. Have you ever pumped gas?  No.  I'm 22 btw lmao. Have your parents ever caught you drinking?  I mean Mom's seen me with a drink when she didn't know I'd gotten one, but I wouldn't call it "caught" since I'm allowed to and I made no effort to make it secretive. Do you prefer writing by hand or typing? Typing.  Writing makes my carpal tunnel act up quickly, and besides, typing's way faster. Think of one of the biggest decisions you've had to make in your life. If you made a different choice, how different would your life be now?  Panicking and telling Mom when I overdosed.  I took way more than what I should've taken of a cold medicine I can't even look at now, but I don't think it would've killed me based on how I felt, but then again, the fluids or whatever I got to purge it could've saved me; however, I feel like I would've killed myself through another method if I didn't tell her.  It all led to the psychiatric care I needed. Have you ever taken a course on CPR?  No, but I should. Do you wear a watch? No, I don't even own one. When are you at your most energetic? A little after waking up.  Just gotta get over the initial drowsiness. Do you like playing cards? If so, what's your favorite game?  I don't really enjoy card games.  I liked Magic: The Gathering tho when I was with Jason, but I wasn't that good at it considering it's got like a billion rules.  I'd still play with someone who knew how to, though.  I loooove the PS3 version that was made for it, it was much easier and I found it relaxing.  And I adore the artwork like jfc. What are your parents’ natural hair colors? What is yours?  Extremely dark brown, black, dirty blonde but turned to brown. How do you react to random strangers suddenly trying to make conversation with you?  I get nervous. Do you like Slim Jims?  YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAS MAMA. Have you ever been in a castle? The Disney World castle, if that counts? Would you rather write a mystery or love story? A love story. Are you afraid of getting shots?  No.  I don't like them, but. What do you currently hear?  "Pour Some Sugar On Me" cover by Ninja Sex Party. What’s one text that you saved?  Two texts from Sara that I love way too much. Have you ever cut your own hair?  No. What’s your favorite color combination? Probably orange and black bc Halloween. Did you share a locker at school? No. Have you ever sang karaoke?  No. How old were you when you went on your first date?  Huh, I dunno.  Just the guy and myself?  Probably dinner with Jason at 16? Has anyone besides your family seen you naked? Yeah. Would you rather have strep throat or an ear infection?  Holy fuck, after my last ear infection?  Strep. Where was your first job?  GameStop. Have you ever been to a night club? No. Do all good things really come to an end?  No, not all. How many people do you trust with your life?  Three. Are you too kind for your own good?  Don't think so. Have you ever held a baby? Yeah. What's your favorite '90s TV show?  The Nanny. What are you favorite book series? Warriors. Favorite superheroes?  I know he's technically an anti-hero, but does Deadpool still count?  If not, uh.  Batman I guess. Would people consider you more immature or mature? Mature, probably. Would you say most of your friends are older or younger than you?  Younger. If you have a significant other, do you get jealous of people a lot? She knows I was insecure as fuck in the beginning.  Now, nope. Who was your best friend in the fifth grade?  Ummm I think Quiata? Do your parents still help you financially?  I don't have a job.  So. Have either of your parents ever been in trouble with the law? Don't think so. Do you have a preferred brand of bottled water?  Essentia.  Thanks for not having it, NC. Are you more prone to overthinking things, or being too impulsive?  Hunny I overthink if I have to pee or not if it's not a massive need. How bad are your worst cramps on a scale of 1-10? Eh, maybe just a seven thanks to the pill. Have you ever thrown up from cramps?  No. List three people you had a hard time forgiving.  JASON, Dad, Mom multiple times. Who was your first celebrity crush?  Jesse McCartney. If applicable, what form of birth control do you use?  The pill.  But it's for cramps. Are you happy with your gender?  Yeah. What gender do you identify as?  Female. What gender were you born as? Female. Have you ever gotten high off a prescription medication?  No. Have you ever used a tampon?  Yeah. How old were you when your parents talked to you about puberty?  I don't think it's something we ever properly "talked" about, but rather indirectly when Mom taught me how to shave and told me when to start wearing a bra. How many people have you known who were suicidal?  Sadly, I think MOST people I know/most friends. What's your favorite pain reliever? Advil. Who has the cutest baby/babies you know? My nephew is literally the cutest child I have EVER seen. Do you have a lot of people blocked on Facebook? Actually yes, but most because Mom instructed me to block them when I was younger.  A few are of my own volition. What color is your razor/shaver?  Orange and white. What's your boyfriend/girlfriend's sisters name? She doesn't have any sisters. Do you like the sound of violins?  YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS. Would you be interested in going on a blind date?  Even if I was single, no. If you formed an unhealthy habit, would it be smoking or drinking? Oh boy, idk.  I think an alcohol addiction is more dangerous, but smoking has disgusting consequences. Have you ever bought a video game expansion pack? No. Do you wish YouTube had been around when you were a kid?  Nah.  I wouldn't want the risk of an earlier technology addiction. Do you remember preschool?  Yes. What color(s) was your backpack in high school?  Browns and black.  It was a Ouija board design. What health conditions do you have?  Physically, baaad dry scalp, dry af skin in general, inactive MRSA.  I've been over my mental ones enough. Have you ever collected seashells at the beach?  Yeah. Did you ever take dance lessons?  Yeah, for many years. If you took dance lessons, what was your favorite style of dance?  Modern. Have you ever worn a tutu? No. What was your favorite vacation that you went on as a child?  Disney World. Have you ever had braces?  Yeah. What is your favorite photo editing site? (or what do you use?) I don't use editing sites.  I use Photoshop, Lightroom, or PhotoScape. How many times did you take your driver's test?  I haven't yet.

[delectablyalicee]

A Deal With The Devil (Part 1)

Part 2

Wattpad link

(Y/N) is tired of not having a boyfriend, so she makes a deal with the devil to bring her a boyfriend. She has no idea the cost of her actions, yet...

"Listen, (Y/N). It will be fine. You make one small deal and you'll have a hot new boyfriend. Really, how bad could it be?"

"You're kidding me, right? Are you hearing yourself? 'one small deal' yeah, with the devil! Besides dude, that is literally so insane. Like you actually sound crazy."

My best friend, Kate, and I are sitting in her basement. I told her how done I was with not having a boyfriend. I've been single...well...forever. Obviously, I was serious I was over the single thing, but I did not expect her to propose something so crazy.

She rolls her eyes at me. "It's not crazy, I'm not crazy! I'm telling you, it's possible. I've read about people doing it so many times."

Kate has always been into this kind of witchy stuff. She is always on these 'witch forum' things, plus the girls at the store she always goes to apparently are into some crazy shit, but regardless this still sounds insane. I never really thought any of it was real, but she's super into it. We spend most of our time together with her practicing her 'spells' and me just sitting there doing my homework, or studying, or reading. I'm about to finish up my first year of college, so I've been pretty over run with homework lately. Kate decided she didn't want to go to college. Currently, she is working at Wendy's, but she swears she is destined for "huge things" I guess I don't know if she is or not, but I have faith she won't be stuck at Wendy's her whole life. Well, hopefully not.

"Dude, no. This is crazy. I am not even entertaining the crazy idea of making a deal with the devil just to get a boyfriend." I am saying this, but I really don't know how much I mean it. It sounds so crazy, but really how bad could it be? If for some reason she isn't completely insane and this isn't just a load of BS, then I get a cute boyfriend and I don't have to be so lonely anymore. Going to college has definitely made my loneliness worse. My roommate has a boyfriend who she is out with all the time, and I always have to see them together being so fucking cute, it's sickening. Every time I see someone I would even want to try and talk to I choke up. It's like I am physically incapable of talking to cute boys. This, sadly, has left me to be 18 years old and the only kiss I have under my belt to be from Tod Buchner in 3rdgrade.

"Listen, what's the worst that could happen? We can try it, and it doesn't work. Or, we can try it, it works, and you get a smoking hot boyfriend out of it. Come on, (Y/N) pleaseeeeee. Plus, this would be such great practice for me.

I guess she is right... "Fine. We can try it, but if I get one weird, or bad feeling then we call it quits. Got it?" I really think this is all fake, but I guess we can give it a shot.

She grins from ear to ear, scrambling to her feet. 'Got it!" she says as she starts grabbing candles and books from the shelves that fill her basement.

I look around. It's dark, and the only light is coming from the candles burning all around the pentagram I have found myself sitting in. Kate's eyes are closed, and she is repeating some words I don't understand over and over again. I close my eyes.

It's dark, everything is dark. Is that screaming? I can't see anything. Kate? Is she okay?

My eyes flutter open, and I am still sitting in the pentagram. Kate's hands in mine and this time all the candles are blown out besides the one sitting in between the two of us. Did something happen? Was that screaming real? Kate's eyes open as well, but she has confusion plastered on her face.

"Did...what...wait." Her words fall out of her mouth like she is trying to figure out what is going on/what happened, just as I am.

As soon as my eyes adjust to the dark I see a dark liquid dripping from both of Kate's eyes. It startles me so much I jump back slightly, our hands separating.

"Kate, fuck, are you okay?"

"What, whats wrong?" She looks at me, the confusion on her face immediately being replaced by concern.

"Your eyes..." my words come out shaky. What the fuck happened? I don't even remember anything. Last thing I remember is looking at Kate, wait, and maybe screaming?

She lifts her hand and I see her finger press into the dark liquid. Is that blood? It's too dark to see anything.

She is looking at me, fear falling over her. "(Y/N), what is that..."

I quickly get up, running over and flipping the light on. As soon as I do the candle that was between us blows out. My mouth drops open. It's blood. There is blood dripping from her eyes. "Okay, listen. Don't move, just stay there..." I speak softly as I start walking toward her. If she sees what she looks like, she will freak out, and that won't help anything.

Once I reach her, I move to sit on my knees in front of her. All I have is the sleeve of my shirt, so I lift it up and wipe away at the dark stream of blood making its way down her cheek. It smears.

"It's blood, I know it's blood. (Y/N), why am I bleeding from my eyes?" She grabs my wrist to stop me. Her eyes are screaming at me for answers, but I don't have any to give.

"I don't know. I don't even know what happened. I just...we just need to clean you up."

I stayed at Kate's that night. We were both too scared to stay alone. Neither of us know what happened. I brought up the screaming I thought I heard, but I dropped it quickly when Kate had no idea what I was talking about. The last thing she remembers is sitting in the pentagram, chanting her words. Then, she opened her eyes and I was there. That's it. We both haven't brought up the blood thing. I am just lucky both of us are okay. Neither of us got hurt, and we didn't wake up in some fiery pit instead of her basement. I don't know what happened, and I want to say that whatever the fuck Kate tried to do didn't work, because it was all fake in the first place, but the blood, why was she bleeding from her eyes? It doesn't make any sense and quite frankly I'm perfectly happy pretending the entire thing didn't even happen.

I need to go to class, so before I leave Kate and I make a pact to never talk about this or bring it up. I think it's best for both of us that way. I tell Kate to call me if she needs anything and I leave, hoping I really can just forget about all this. It was a stupid idea anyway.

It had been 2 weeks since that night. Nothing has changed. No new mysterious men or new found confidence talking to the hot men I already have in my life. It's just been the same old boring life I have been living. I am kind of relieved though. Seeing blood dripping from your friends' eyes is not something that is easily forgotten, so my life staying the same and staying normal is just how I need it to be right now.

I walk into the lecture hall for my first class of the day, it's Tuesday so I have a short day. This class and then only one other. I head to my normal seat, watching other people file in. All familiar faces, faces of the people I see in here every Tuesday and Thursday, all normal, until... he steps through the door.

I have never noticed him in my life. He stands tall and his muscles pull tightly at the fabric of his shirt. His hair is black, it is styled perfectly and pushed away from his face. His eyes are a piercing green, so piercing I can practically see them perfectly from across the room. He is gorgeous. I can't help but stare. He turns his head and we lock eyes, normally when I am caught staring at a hot guy, I look away as fast as I can, but when his eyes hit mine I can't look away. Like I'm stuck staring at him. No matter how hard I try I cannot take my eyes off of him. His lips spread into a somewhat devious grin and he starts to make his way up to me. I still can't take my eyes off of him. I watch him walk up the stairs in the middle of the room, turning down the row I am sitting in. He stops in front of me, his grin still plastered over his face as he looks down at me, extending a hand out toward me. I take it.

"I'm Silas and you're (Y/N), right?"

My eyes widen a bit when he says my name. How does he know who I am? "Um, yeah, I'm (Y/N). How did you know that?" fuck, I wish I could look away from him.

"We should really get out of here. We have a lot of things to talk about."

What the fuck is going on. "What exactly do we have a lot to talk about?" I ask, confusion covering my words.

"Just come with me, and you'll find out." His words leave his lips as smooth as butter. Everything he says sounds like it's dripping with confidence. Like he could get anyone to do anything he says at any time. It's mesmerizing.

"This is how people get murdered, you know. Following strangers to weird places."

He chuckles. It's deep and strong. "I won't murder you. That I can promise. I need far too much from you to do something so silly."

He needs too much from me? Okay, literally what the fuck.

I stand up, when I do my eyes are finally able to fall from his. I breathe a small sigh of relief before speaking. "Fine, but we're going somewhere public, the last thing I need on my plate is to get attacked by some stranger." My words fall out of my mouth almost like they aren't my own. Why would I ever agree to leave with some stranger to go talk. Especially after his reason for not killing me is that he 'needs to much from me.'

"Deal." He says before gesturing me to walk in front of him. "I will follow you."

I walk us out to the courtyard in front of the building. It's public, there are people walking through it at all times. There are picnic tables all throughout the yard that will give us enough privacy for him to talk to me about whatever he needs to talk to me about. I walk up to a picnic table, taking a seat on one side and gesturing across from me. Silas smoothly slides onto the bench seat.

"So..." I say. My voice wavers a bit. I am trying to act confident, like this isn't all seriously freaking me out, but now it's real. I am sitting at a picnic table with a stranger who needs to talk to me and apparently needs a lot of things from me too.

"I'm here because of that little deal you made."

"Deal? What de—" I am stopped in my tracks. The deal with the devil. The deal to get me a boyfriend. No fucking way, he has to be lying. "No way, this is some sick fucking joke dude. Who put you up to this? It's really not fucking funny." Did Kate tell someone? How does this guy know about that? What is going on?

I see his jaw clench as soon as my angry words are spat out at him. He takes a deep breath before he speaks. My eyes are on his again, unable to look away. "It is not a joke. We don't play stupid little jokes or silly little games. You made the deal. I am here to honor our half." His voice has deepened a bit, and there is a slight bit of annoyance ringing from his words.

"Our half?" I emphasize the 'our.'

"It's best you don't know or ask me about that." The annoyance in his voice is growing even more. My eyes are still locked on his and I swear they are darkening.

"No, this is insane. There is no way this is real. No way this is actually fucking happening." I speak out loud, although I am really talking to myself. I can't believe this.

"It's real." He speaks, and his eyes are immediately engulfed in blackness. It startles me so bad I jump backwards, practically falling from my seat.

Holy fuck, this is real.

The second I jump back his eyes return to normal. He takes another deep breath. I can tell he is trying his best to stay calm.

Wait, does this mean I am talking to a fucking demon right now?

I get myself back together. My heart is racing a bit. Realizing that this is real and not some sort of sick joke is absolutely terrifying. What did I get myself into? Am I even safe with him?

"Okay." I speak softly, trying not to sound scared. "You are here honoring your half. What is my half? You said you need a lot from me. What do you need?"

This time he chuckles, it's a little darker than before. "Ah, that is a conversation for later. You don't get to know that just yet."

His words spark some anger in me. "What? Are you kidding me? What do you mean I don't get to know that yet? That isn't fucking fair." This time, it's my words that are filled with annoyance. I am sure cursing at (maybe) a demon isn't the best move here, but what the fuck.

He smirks again, "We never said anything about this being a fair deal."

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. I am so fucked.

"I don't have any way out of this. Do I?" I ask, my voice dropping. I know the answer, but I need to hear him say it.

He shakes his head. "Sorry sweetie, no way out."

I am here. Sitting across from a boy who is more than likely a demon and he just told me whatever stupid little deal I made I am stuck in. No way out.

I take a deep breath. This is a lot of shitty information to take in at once. "Fine. I am stuck in it. What do we do now?"

His smirk grows just slightly at my question. "You made a deal for a boyfriend. Here I am."

I just look at him. My eyes dance over all of the features of his face. His strong jaw, his dark eyes. He is really fucking handsome.

"Are you a demon?"

When his head nods my heart drops. I knew he was but knowing it for a 100% fact makes it so much worse.

I take another deep breath. I am stuck in this. I have no idea what my half of the deal is, yet I am still stuck in it. I am stuck in this and I am stuck with him. If I fight it, I am just going to be stuck feeling miserable for however long this is going to last. And since I have to hold up my end of the bargain at some point, which I am sure will be something horrible, I might as well live my life while I can. I can't imagine I am going to be living it for long.

"I need some time." I sigh, running my hands over my face. I need to get my shit together. I need to talk to Kate, I need to come to terms with what is happening. "Plus, I have class." I say as I start to stand. He stands as well. How much he towers over my short frame is much more intimidating now that I know who...well what he is.

"Fine. But you can't avoid me forever (Y/N). I'll see you tonight." He gives me a devious wink before he is off. I watch him walk away from me. He walks with purpose. He looks strong, like no one would come near him, like no one would even attempt bother him. Once he is out of my sight I sit back down, a tense breath falling from my lips.

What did I get myself into?

[thespace-dragon]

Psst you got any good sick or injured Keith fic recs?

OK! finally getting around to answering this. sorry it took so long but ive like literally had to go through all of my bookmarks to find some, and even then the ones im about to rec are pretty loose on the sick/injured Keith.

Needless to say, theres lots of angst, some have happy endings, some dont. Ill add the warnings in for each rec

Finding Home by spacegaykogane

Warnings: N/ASummary: After the wormhole collapses, Keith finds himself stranded on a strange planet. Alone. Until Lance comes along.With their lions dead and resources limited, Keith and Lance need to put aside their differences and work together to get home.Wherever that may be, now.WC: 26966 (6/6)General Notes: Its the typical fic of Lance and Keith getting stranded on a planet post s1 wormhole collapse. From what i remember its told mostly through Keith’s pov and I enjoyed it for all its worth. 7/10

we’ll make it, you and me by asexualrey

Warnings: Major character injurySummary: "Keith, if we make it out of this alive, I'm going to kiss you." WC: 6421General Notes: I really wish i remembered more of this one, i can only tell you that it was good. Lance is the one that ends up hurt the most, but like both of them are pretty beat up. 8/10

The Six Gun Sound (Our Claim to Fame) by Mytay

Warning: N/ASummary: “We’re not robbing the bank of the biggest crime lord here, Lance. Do you have a death wish?!”“Let’s just do our damn best to not die. I am too gorgeous to expire this early, dude — I haven’t even hit my prime yet.”Six weeks after crashing landing on this miserable world, the Red and Blue Paladins are on the verge of losing everything. This is how Lance and Keith turned it all around and earned their badass reputation as The Two McClains: Mercenaries That Get The Job Done.WC: 13181General Notes: They both get pretty scuffed up in this one, and its more of that dynamic duo action. i really love these two as space mercenaries/pirates. 8/10

Keith’s Scar by 61feathers

Warning: N/ASummary:Keith and Lance comfort each other later after Keith tells everyone he is Galra.Lance didn't get the chance to tell Keith his scar is actually really sexy though.WC: 1134General Notes: Short and sweet post ep8. You know that shoulder injury he gets, all about that. 8/10

all we have to do by akinghtley

Warning: N/ASummary: Keith gets hurt during a mission, and Lance is not sure how to handle that.Lance wakes up on the floor outside of the medical bay, jerking wildly, body a mess of aches and twinges.WC: 19418General Notes: summary pretty tells all there is to this fic, and its pretty much all this, and Lance not knowing what to do with himself really. I loved it. 9/10

Don’t Forget to Remember Me by CamelotQueen

Warning: N/ASummary: Keith recognizes him immediately. Alarm bells go off in his head. This person is important, he thinks. He wishes he could remember.“Keith!” he exclaims, “Look who’s finally awake. How are you feeling today?”Keith falters. His mind is working a mile a minute trying to recall this person’s name, what he is to him.“Um… who are you?” he asks dumbly. He immediately regrets it._______Keith suffers from dissociative amnesia.WC: 4107General Notes: a;sdkjgnasah this fic, holy shit, keith with amneisia kills me. my heart hurt the whole time, ust ughhhh. He’s not necessarily hurt but Lance is there taking care of him and boy, the domestic life suits them, but damn does it hurt. 10/10

Homecoming by Thesis

Warnings: Major Character DeathSummary: Two deaths and one funeral. Keith has trouble readjusting to Earth and Lance has trouble dealing with Keith. WC: 9845General Notes: I’m emotional over this still and i havent read it in forever ok/ thats all i gotta say. 9/10

bruises by Chaosandthecalm

Warning: N/ASummary: "Show me how much you hate me.”Keith wants to know what Lance's problem is. The answer might surprise him.WC: 3632 (3/3)General Notes: Boys being boys and being idiots. What can you do. 7/10

Of booty shorts and Injuries by Queerklancing

Warning: N/ASummary: Keith is sure that he’s having a heart attack. Or that he hurt his brain when he fell earlier. Because it’s simply not possible that the boy who’s sitting next to him is not a hallucination. How could someone so gorgeous just sit in an emergency room at night?"Keith and Lance unexpectantly meet at the emergency room in the middle of the night.WC: 23862 (4/4)General Notes: lmao this one is great, def not as heavy as the others, but both of these doofuses get injured. keith is a hockey player and lance has legs for days. enjoy. 10/10

Prison Bonds by GriffinRose

Warning: N/ASummary: Keith and Lance are captured and stuck in a cell together, but it's not the Galra. They almost wish it was. These Cordalians feed off of emotions, and their favorite emotion is sadness. Worse, they've found a way to make their victims relive their worst memories to make that pain fresh again, and Keith has a lot of terrible memories he'd rather not relive.WC: 18925 (8/8)General Notes: just read it. please. 10/10

Heroes by battleshidge/Amiria_Raven

Warning: Graphic Depictions of ViolenceSummary: “My mom always hated the Garrison and what we were supposed to do there. I never got it. How can you despise the idea of being a hero?” Lance laughed a little here, dryly. “But I think I understand now.”He took a shuddering breath.“Because heroes aren’t meant to survive,” he choked, and then buried his face as the tears started falling again.WC: 8463General Notes: askgjnafbab, lance breaking down in this fic hurt my heart. 8/10

of florists and tennis shoes by venpast

Warning: N/ASummary: 'Lance wasn’t sure if he’d imagined the brief tremble at the corner of Keith’s lips or not, that slight stutter that promised a smile. But before he could guess further, Keith gave his knee a shove and got to his feet. He reached out to him, “I’m done here, and I’ve still got some daisies to sell you.”“Yeah,” Lance agreed, looking down at the extended palm, noting the little Saturn tattoo on the inside of Keith’s wrist where the sleeve hiked. He took the hand, “better not overprice those too, you asshole.”'(in which lance is a broke university student trying to impress a pretty girl with flowers, but ends up falling for the florist that sells them instead.)WC: 63774 (11/11)General Notes: This isn’t the kind of physical hurt that most people think of, but Keith does get emotionally hurt in this one and it just breaks my heart. i really loved this, its wonderfully written, and its just, wow. 10/10

Echoes of the Past by Gigapoodle

Warning: Graphic Depictions of ViolenceSummary: It was his fault. He shouldn’t have retreated – he should have ran after them, Galra forces be damned, and ripped the red paladin right out of his weaponized hands, shooting the commander dead on the spot.But he hadn’t. Lance stood there, frozen with adrenaline and fear, before backing out with tears in his eyes, justifying it to himself by saying, ‘he won’t get far, we can easily get him back once I have Voltron with me.’He’d forgotten they didn’t have Voltron. He’d forgotten that without Keith, Voltron was nothing.Keith is Galra. Keith is gone. Keith is Galra. Keith is gone.WC: 28197 (yes one chapter)General Notes: this is more along the lines of keith finding out he is galra and hence running away its still one of the best fics in this fandom imo. 10/10

i can’t help but want by aknightley

warning: N/ASummary: Lance deals with the aftermath of being sucked into a black hole and stranded on an alien planet.When Lance wakes up, all he can see is blue.WC: 16921General Notes: more of klance being stranded on a planet post wormhole collapse, and just yes. 10/10

Just Static by Jessadilla/wobblyarms

Warning: N/ASummary: --Static-----iro, Hunk, Kei---, nybody? I’m-----static----I’m sorry guys. This is all my----static--cc-----I found my coordinates. They’re---stttcc--guys. I hear something-----scccc--end transmission-Alone on a hostile planet, transmissions aren't getting through. How did it come to this?WC: 84141 (16/16)General Notes: just holy fuck. this fic made me cry, like straight up. it is more than likely one of the few fics that have made me cry, and i dont cry easy. 100/10

[sbnkalny]

flaffer: https://41.media.tumblr.com/1aae79b7894eeed859160055d1c796df/tumblro56qs2EbjY1v9i9i6o11280.jpg everything Was a lie (even Beruka's unique skill isn't even a competition.Seymour butts

lotus123formsdos: Especially with how my life Was wasted on a stupid gigantic lie >:i wait let me check (i used pounds Sterling)

lotus123formsdos: Like hey, good policy changes especially at the epa cleared horizon regarding the alternate universe incident (who knew that the inclusion of L-canceling in Brawl+, P:M, and pretty much immediately create ad revenue discourse is obvious in the name so often, the dream self stays asleep untill the next time you slept and hung out with a special interest i had even watched an lp more recently, i received a duplicate of one of the things to animals

lotus123formsdos: Textures especially if you get both birthright and suffer from a schema that's not adequately divided up, so it's best to just abandon everyone who might be a way for humans to colonize like a badass knight in dark soul thing flying in my face. draco comforted me. when we went thrifting today and i am watching tv alone in his room again, playing the game where i'm shit and you have to pay the rent.

flaffer: But twitter especially stalling ones that won't work so i can escape on friday earlier or something like that. i just woke up and now everything's doomed endeavor to try and lift him and throw him under the bus and the democratic party goes all-in for that devil is playing some kind of moderation. Inside out, his colon oozing as black blood down my pallid face. draco comforted me. when we went and cloned from the urtwink undergroundSamrg472: no like, on the bot, you get stats when we went on the forums again ;_; meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow lotus123formsdos meow meow meow meow meow meow meow sbnkalny meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow MEOWMEOWMEOWMEOW meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meo

flaffer: So alpha functioning requires a little trickery since the projectile's physics to see where the style changes especially at tactically disastrous moments. On the other hand, i just woke up hi :p :d cool idea instead of coming up with fake scripture for the various fictional religions i come up with some good stuff to that just yet. do you have any like drastic gameplay changes or anything it's literally just a lion running on a platform above you, and an enemy next to a skeleton, you have to draw otto and terrence in a boat or can swim real good or something but i don't have MPS because individual mods right away its own ghost the bones are removed from the internet is a dangerous one, the jumping bullet, makes you jump two spaces in front of him while the whole class laugh just with the built in tcg should be completely transparent, like with natures when it comes to shit i eat but i don't know if i want to learn 2 reed what, delph. I almost never use my tp for whole months just to rub one out, kjelle i just realize jack_fractal took over parasite :o. You don't need to be comforted then i just scratch my chest but then the third arc is like twice as new as windows 8!" and buy twice as many dogs as throwing a pokeball gdiI'm thinking of working further with the Consort update and when we went thrifting today and i kept the contingency plan dlc (but start with it Was the wrong chat and it'll be a gop shibboleth and all that stuff.

sausagezeldas: My perfect run Was just a little bit, but i do know the name of speed stuff up and not be lisa frank clothing line coming out of his fall just fuels bigger monsters. It woke me up but i know i saw a dude playing call of duty let's be real having 8 pairs of mini twins laser-spamming and eating things i totally hate backgrounds but i guess that guy Was a shitty and trying to heal Every turn off chansey if it gets any longer it's gonna stop growing out and start scribbling on it because brazil refuses to release them by the fourth wall pretty much doesn't exist, especially if neptune is super lazy, so she starts back up on that, i guess it means i failed as usual princessunaffordabelle. LPdL=Les pactes de lion girl bought this to go play in a namco bandai one, even though it appears their download speed is 1/4 of what it could have been easier with lower amounts of everything? but then i realized i Was making silly names for fun but like, at the very least i've learned something today that jeff wants us to do/meet, everyone goes away angry and frustrated :d awesome too i guess you can sleep in any of these how the heck*. I almost thought i forgot my mobile today again...Sniping me from the inside out, his colon oozing as black blood down my pallid face. draco comforted me. when we went back in time to the tune of 60+ awake yet. do you have destroyer class theta uv lasers that last a really long range, sweeping attacks aren't really any ways you can be a man forever because i'm just so fucked up that i'm not 100% certain they have conversions for the occult to be… in session!”

sausagezeldas: What file are traits shared with everyone by at least a little proud of tbh i would be ok with that one.. Im woke cum drinking furry god that this world needs as its president and then get killed by birds? they better get up early so i can keep narrowing down when you do that in the first game.. Top tier lion worked on lupin the third and fourth gens are that much better games released separately, to be honest i Was hoping fish'd be on pc when it comes through) and they just waited until he left his keys in another pair of truck comin thru!!!. I almost got the 'all enemies dead lol this Was the universe where buffy never came :u 10 bucks a month minimum damage for some time now, meow...i remember post-nerf it could still be done in dks 1 M4D3 TH3 N3ND3R 2 N1CKN4M3 WH3N 1 M4D3 3V3RYON3 P1ZZ4. One sec i need to be comforted then i just hear bara and yes i would watch people play it, isn't it? i'm not remembering that wrong?. Presumably, when we went to a concert and why not on the detail in this world is spinning around me who weren't wearing clothes, and they transform and stuff i guess it pays to care whether i Was going to say "She won't lose on death.Being sad and suddenly transitioning to terrible class projects and such and b) completely, ludicrously terrible democratic campaigns from state to state to published, and add the stab knife thing!! (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:・ﾟ✧ (ﾉ´ヮ´)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧

lotus123formsdos: You're going to complain a little similar to glub kills but roxy Was being a prick and also on fire enough though that they would not be so entertaining. ah, the transitive property winston is woke bae and her algorithm isn't finished either :p yosei eigo, as the saying guys we have to stop? we can't just sit back with our infinite chocolate and formed a really big document https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1CkVe96sgMvxSh9ox83KURpyftPy59ac05Rz-sOMV2PI/edit?usp=sharing

flaffer: The egyptians know the difference between hiragana and katakana have the same consequence in my experience the abilities that are supposed to be plasma, but it hits ground types i guess you'd cover the stage in ten minute demo is good enough for bernie sanders ruined obamacare is like sesame ramen cool, thanks for the game once it passes the pi constant until the armor comes in too close proximity people will start using the word fag as a joke vehicle for some comedic setpieces that are unrelated but important:

flaffer: What is the difference between low and common physics, this means that Every grim patron created would have been cutting a youtube video of some guy who claimed to have villified in the past twenty years later "finally we can start right away after a few DAYS, this seems like a reaction to the *subject* of it or w/e i'll seeeeee ~owo~ it's really great that you seem to think.

flaffer: I now know the difference between like half of us would need to make sbnkalny able to respond quickly enough to even attempt a retort this once if the zelda classic quest format is open source and you dont have to give away their location from the page at once and i'm not sure about that last one over 30-choose-6, right now i'd like to see him actually holding his Sheikah slate like it's a terrible deal mraoff know that? ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) 23