#shut up ron

[brandstifter-sys]

Maybe I'm getting stupidly emotional and shit but damn looking back on all the dukexiety stuff I'm just kind of amazed. I remember when I had to type out the whole ship tag on AO3 because there were a total of maybe 5 people who were writing these two idiots. I was one of the first, if not the first, people to really ship it and build some of the common tropes for them. It's just really amazing to see how much this rare pair has grown. It's nice to know I'm not alone

[boys-with-gunss]

I hate playing roblox and having to say "El em aye oh, kay, why, ess" like??? What the fuck???

[star-felled]

literally everything having to do with ron delite is hilarious. doesn't know what he's talking about ever. became a criminal to fuel his wifes shopping addiction. so pathetic that he gets declared innocent for a crime he's guilty of. when asked a question by his own lawyer he asks phoenix what HE thinks. admits to a murder he didnt actually commit several times on accident. found a dead body and instead of calling the cops his immediate, innate reaction was to hide said body. when asked why he hid that body in the safe his response is that it wouldnt fit in a drawer. confesses to being a criminal but the court cant do shit about it because of double jepordy. uses his freedom to run a rehab center for thieves, only to sell heist plans to said thieves. also uses his freedom to team up with his wife to continue stealing. flirts with another man in front of his wife and also an entire courtroom

[wizardemotions]

pinterest showed me some screenshots of posts that gave me the concept for an au where both harry and ron are sorted slytherin & draco is just slightly less rude in the first book. i could go into why i think this makes a lot of sense for ron but i won't. i've affectionately dubbed them the platinum quartet in my head and they will not leave me the fuck alone

[ronnyraygun]

Why am I the funniest at the buttfuck of dawn??

[keepin-it-on-the-d-l]

You know you’ve made a good character when the image of him being in boxers that say ‘cool guy’ during his whole arc somehow doesn’t undercut how emotionally devastating the arc is

[1waveshortofashipwreck]

heyyy love ur stuff btw! Could you maybe do hc’s of how our boys when someone is being mean to the reader? Thanks ;)) Maybe like a modern AU? Or any AU you’d prefer, thank you!

Aaaaaaaa thank you for the ask friend!! I love this idea!!! So I pictured this in a Modern!AU where the pair is at a coffee shop waiting on their order. The Boy puts his arm around them and the person next to them just sneers and goes “Can y’all get a room? Or at least be with someone nice to look at?” OBVIOUSLY referring to y/n with just a palpable amount of spite and venom.

Dick Winters

I see him just hugging you tighter and maybe turning his back to the guy, like, if he's gonna be an ass about Dick's favorite person he doesn't deserve the time of day. He'd say something so sweet too like, “if you think anyone could be more beautiful than them, you need to get your eyes checked,” before planting a kiss on your cheek and grabbing your drinks.

Lewis Nixon

I can see him definitely getting irritated but also seeming kinda baffled? Like I can see him just saying something like, “Are you serious right now? You see how gorgeous they are, right? Who hurt you, man?” Like he’d be so genuine about it too, even scoffing and shaking his head while y’all walk out with your drinks - like, how tf can someone say that about the most perfect human on earth???

Ron Speirs

I have a strong feeling that the guy’s words leave his mouth before he saw Ron, because I just imagine the dude being Christianson in Bastogne, like, he see’s Speirs’ face and just feels as though he has Met His End. So all Speirs does is put his arm around you and say, “you wanna try that again?” the guy just stutters and replies, “you make a lovely couple,” before scurrying away. I can soooo see Ron just having a smug smile on his face before giving you a kiss.

Harry Welsh

Ok so considering this man got demoted from sergeant to private three (3) different times due to getting in fights I have a feeling he would just be like “OH ITS THAT KINDA PARTY HUH? YOU WANNA TRY SAYING THAT AGAIN ASSHOLE??” Like this dude could be twice Harry’s size but your Boy can and will throw hands to defend you and he’s not afraid to get hurt while doing it. 10/10 needs you to help with his bruised knuckles after but he apologizes and y’all enjoy your drinks (specifically savoring it because y’all got banned from the coffee shop).

Eugene Roe

I feel like this could go two ways - A) he tells the guy off (“why don’t you mind your business asshole”), holds you close to him, and grabs your drinks without saying a word, or B) he grabs you by the waist and just goes to town trying to merge your mouths into one. This man would just do everything in his power to put on display his love and passion for you. Soon enough the dude will get weirded out and leave, but not before Doc performs award-winning CPR.

Bill Guarnere

Oh boy we got Party Boy #2 over here. “Why don’t you shut ya yap before I shut it for ya?” Your mans would square up to the dude no questions asked. If the dude steps down, Bill would just say, “yeah, that’s what I thought,” before proudly putting his arm around you. If the dude makes a poor decision and steps up to Guarnere… next thing you know poor Bill is apologizing to you while you hold his cold brew up to his black eye to keep the swelling down… the dude apologized though! All thanks to Ol’ Gonorrhea.

Joe Toye

I feel like his reaction is betwixt Guarnere and Nixon. Like, for one thing, he’s genuinely confused. He just gives the dude his classic Eyebrows before pulling you close to him. At first he won’t say anything, but if the dude keeps going he’ll just say to him in a low voice, “you looking for a fight pal?” Honestly that would be enough to scare the dude away while Joe just hugs you tight and kisses your temple before the barista calls your names.

George Luz

This boy would twist the dude’s words perfectly. “Oh you’re absolutely right, they could get someone WAY hotter than me!” before smirking over at you. You can’t help but give George a playful smack on the chest before laughing with him and laying your head on his shoulder… then he’d totally just look at you and think “how’d I get so lucky???” we love a silly soft boi

Joe Liebgott

Fighty Boy #3 and you can’t tell me otherwise. It’d be similar to Guarnere on the ship - he’d have to make sure he heard the dude right at first… “What’d you just say?” like you can feel his angy levels rising by the second. The dude just goes, “you heard me,” and before anyone can even blink the dude is knocked out on the ground, like, the swifest punch known to man and it came from your boyfriend (kinda hot ngl) and you just give him a Look before he smirks and kisses the air from your lungs and… why were you mad at him again? And why are you getting thrown out of the cafe???

Floyd Talbert

Ok so remember how Roe gave you life-saving CPR? Tab’s first instinct is life-taking CPR, like, this man just glares at the dude before pulling you close by your waist (and maybe a hand on your ass because its Tab) and just going to TOWN on your lips, neck, wherever he can reach just to show the idiot dude how in love with you he is and how stupid he was to make that comment… of course instinctively your hands to Tab’s hair and y’all just get Lost in the Sauce and when the barista calls y’all’s names you don’t even hear them.

Shifty Powers

Asdf sweet baby angel would just hold you close and whisper to you, “I’m sorry you had to hear that, you don’t believe him right?” Just keeping all his attention on you and hugging you close with both arms just lovingly wrapped around you, both of y’all forget everything else exists and you just happily hold each other for a bit before you get your drinks (this is all unless shifty has his rifle then the dude’s Time Has Come courtesy of Darrell C. Powers).

ngl this might've been the most fun I've had writing something 🤣 Thank you again for the ask love!! Hope you have a wonderful day!

[biscuitfacegrey]

Merry Christmas from the Stamplers! :)

[glimtwins]

WE SHAN’T MAKE IT OUT OF THIS EPISODE ALIVE

[d4r32bstup1d]

R- loving

I- boy

O- friend

[handledwithgloves]

dramione shippers really piss me off cause why would yall do that to her?

hasnt she been through enough? now yall want her to date this man who bullied her was literally incredibly racist to her watched her get tortured in front of him and did nothing like…

when ron is right there. literally greatest guy on earth just chilling and being nice and ya’ll wont even let her have him? ya’ll wont let her catch a break!?

ya’ll dont like hermione at all fr

[boys-with-gunss]

Everyone tell Ron to shut the fuck up if you think he's annoying

[willowser]

willow! first of all, i love all your writing and aus and just everything about your blog! everyone feels so realistic and it’s just amazing ajahakalal!!

second of all, i cannot get love island! kiri out of my head. like imagine he’s getting to know some other girl bc he’s just that nice but then someone else snatches you for recoupling and he realizes that there’s a very real possibility that the two of u won’t be together by the end and the thought just breaks his heart bc bc he really likes you!! you really, really wants to be with u and pursue a relationship outside the show but now he just feels like he blew it when he sees you with your new guy, splashing each other in the pool and laughing so brightly and you’re in your cute little bikini and hnghhhh just can’t stop thinking about this

OKAY OKAY bummer island with kiri is such a rollercoaster, i think you guys have the HARDEST time in there 🥺🥺 but it makes it worth it, in the end 😌🩷✨️

like i'm imagining that every week, all the boys are just hyping him up, telling him that he shouldn't close himself off, he's here to meet people, that's the whole point of this game and stuff — which it is ! but 🥺 he does really like you 🥺 so he ends up....unintentionally being a bit of a douchebag LOL

bc he's telling you that you're the only one he sees !! 🥺 and he's smiling at you on the beanbags, saying, "i wish we were sharing a bed tonight," and he always tells you how nice you look, you're always laughing together, sometimes you get too touchy 😌 BUT THEN ANOTHER GIRL WALKS IN and he's like, "i feel like i would be doing myself a disservice if i didn't try to get to know her," which is so AKGBRUEJQLALA and it's like. by the third time this has happened, you're so done. so beyond done lmao. and he doesn't even REALIZE IT.

a recoupling is happening and it's girls' choice and kiri is — over the moon. because he's thinking that this is it !! that you're going to choose him because things have been going great with yall (💀) and you'll finally be able to move forward, he's really excited to put all his effort into you now and — no, he's really not worried that a new guy just came in and told you he only had eyes for you 🙂 why would he be worried ?? 🙂

and you get up there and — you don't choose him. and he can't believe it.

every time that you could've coupled up in the past, someone has come along to steal either of you before the deal could be sealed. and now the opportunity was right there and he really, really was looking forward to FINALLY being with you 🥺 and having to stand there and hear your speech and watch you choose someone else is like alfhdkakajbfs 🥺 has him so ???? ofc a girl he's been talking to saves him so it's not like he goes home or anything but the hurt is SO CLEAR on his face 🥺

and afterwards, he grabs you as soon as it's appropriate to ask you 🥺 what happened ?? 🥺

and you're kinda not even looking at him 🥺 staring down into your drink or elsewhere. "i don't know, kirishima, he came in here and only has eyes for me, so — i think i'd be doing myself a disservice by not getting to know him."

and he KNOWS that those words are a slap in the face, especially with how serious you look, and he kind of laughs because he's shocked and hurt and doesn't know what to say !! because it's all too real now that he genuinely may have fucked it up !!! 🥺🥺🥺

[oh-surprise-its-me]

Lil' headcanon of mine, Ron is fluent in several different languages (sure, Tom is too, as compacflt he has to, but there had been cases when Ron had to stop him before he accidentally said the wrong thing. In good faith, but still wrong, Tom please you've almost insulted that Chinese commander holy fuck please shut up). Chris is very much surprised when he hears him teaching baby Jake. He's surprised when he hears Tom and Ron switch languages. (Mav is confused too.) Now they both stare at their boyfriends and one son speaks different languages. (Bradley finds out during that faithful mission. He's not entirely sure of what it does to him... well, it does something indeed!)

Oh my god Aki you’re brilliant. (I don’t speak anything besides English and some American Sign Language sooo there won’t be any actual different language spoken.)

Tom can speak Polish, Spanish, and Russian bits of Mandarin and some sign language because him and Mav like to talk shit across rooms.

Ron can speak Polish, Spanish Russian, Mandarin, French and bits and pieces of others. He loves learning new ones.

They were in the backyard. Chris and Ron have been dating for about a year. Tom is staying with them until they’ve gotta go back. Ron started speaking fluent Polish to Tom, Chris thought he was going to pass out. He’s always known Ron is hot but lord.

Three weeks later they were in a restaurant on a date, a guy started speaking Spanish to the waitress she kept shaking her head until Ron leaned over and translated. Chris threw cash on the table and dragged Ron out of there and into a bed so fast.

Chris didn’t know how hot he’d find Ron switching through languages but goddamn. It’s hot.

—

When Jake started talking it was incredible. They had taught him some sign to say when he was hungry or thirsty or cold but him talking? Adorable. They cried when he first called Chris daddy.

Chris loved watching their kid learn what different things were.

When Jake one day suddenly asked for something in Polish he got a bit confused.

He blinked down at the little three year old. “Baby what?” Jake said it again and pointed. Chris had no idea what he’s saying. “Come on let’s go find papa he’s clearly been speaking Polish around you”

They go into the office that Ron uses when he’s at home. Chris bounces Jake. “Say it again baby.”

Ron looks up when Jake starts talking. “He’s doing it! Chris oh my god he’s doing it!”

“Hon. Love you and how excited you are. Did you not think about the fact that I can’t speak Polish.”

Ron looks confused. God bless this man. Somehow he’s got navy secrets up in that head of his. “Baby maybe wait until he’s a bit older and understands he needs to speak English at me and Polish at you.”

Ron goes a bit pink. He stands up and goes over to them. He kisses Chris, “and French.”

Chris blinks. “French.” “Maybe Tommy and I have been thinking about teaching him Russian also.”

Ron takes Jake from Chris. “Our son can’t save you from stupidity.” Ron lifts him onto his shoulder “yeah he can.”

Chris smiles, he leans closer and kisses Ron again. “Yeah you’re right he can.”

-

The first time Bradley sees Jake speaking a different language it’s Spanish with Javy on the ship after they landed. He didn’t know it at the time but Jake was talking about how he just wanted to kiss Bradley.

Two weeks after the mission they’re all together at Tom and Mav’s house. Jake is sitting up on the counter in the kitchen, he’s watching Tom and Ron cook like he always used to. He didn’t know how much he missed it.

Bradley is leaning next to Jake’s hip. Tom starts speaking to Ron. Bradley blinks, he’s not heard Tom speak Polish in years.

Jake chimes in. In Polish.

Bradley knows he’s staring. He can’t help it. “You speak Polish?”

Chris laughs from the doorway, he comes into the kitchen, he’s covered in grease. Chris goes up on his toes and kisses Ron. “He spoke polish more then English when he was four. Forced me to get a goddamn Polish to English dictionary.” Jake goes a bit pink. “Dad cut it out.”

Chris gets that look on his face that Bradley used to see on Mav sometimes.

It’s the ‘I could be more of a dick but I’m choosing to be nice today’ face.

Tom laughs and says something else. Jake goes redder. Ron slaps Tom, Chris snorts and loops an arm around Tom. Jake shakes his head, “Y’all are horrible to me I’m gonna find Mav.” He hops off the counter but drags his hand across Bradley’s stomach as he passes.

-

“Never thought I’d find you speaking a different language so not.” - “baby you think everything I do is hot.” - “shut up Jake come here and ride me.” - “yeehaw cowboy.”

[ronnyraygun]

This was sO much funnier in my head.

[dustyjumpwjngs]

easy co. & their favorite halloween candies

johnny martin: he crunches jolly ranchers

carwood lipton: the perfection that are reese’s cups

ron speirs: warheads

george luz: tootsie rolls

skip muck: he crushes up smarties and snorts them

don malarkey: i think the lemon starbursts are disgusting but don loves them. penkala gets the pink ones

joe liebgott: HERSHEY BAR

dick winters: sucker for peanut m&ms

lewis nixon: that hard as a fucking rock hubba bubba gum

bill guarnere: eats kitkats sideways to piss off babe

babe heffron: dum dum lollipops

eugene roe: hershey bar ),:

shifty powers: reese’s pieces

floyd talbert: eats three bags of candy corn in one sitting