#silly little thought...

[eyesforfuma]

but jo would be so good at eating you out, like he just loves to, spreading your folds with one hand while he slowly but hungrily licks and sucks your clit, his long fingers slowly fucking your pretty hole, not because he likes to tease but because he gets pussy drunk whenever he eats you out so he can barely focus on how his fingers are fucking you, your moans, your hands tugging his hair, you praising him on how good he makes you feel, and him desperately grinding his hard on against the mattress make him lose his mind

him trying his best to rub your clit with his precious high nose while his tongue is now busy inside of you (in such a sloppy and inexperienced way which makes you chuckle every time and you feel him smiling as well) now both of his hands spreading your thighs to the sides

or even placing one hand on your lower stomach with enough force to help you out while his other hand is holding yours, not caring how involuntary your thighs close around his head and how you are now desperately rocking your hips against his face, he can't never take a second off from you, jo loves how your fluids mixed with his saliva drips from his chin once you are done

[poidkea]

I’ve been reading Dracula for the first time, im about halfway through, here’s my take on it so far

The polycule learns about monster hunting

[butchfalin]

the funniest meltdown ive ever had was in college when i got so overstimulated that i could Not speak, including over text. one of my friends was trying to talk me through it but i was solely using emojis because they were easier than trying to come up with words so he started using primarily emojis as well just to make things feel balanced. this was not the Most effective strategy... until. he tried to ask me "you okay?" but the way he chose to do that was by sending "👉🏼👌🏼❓" and i was so shocked by suddenly being asked if i was dtf that i was like WHAT???? WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY TO ME?????????? and thus was verbal again

[konkeez]

i like the headcanon of swansea serving, so here's a little thing!! i was gonna design his wife....then didn't. maybe next time.

(i suppose this is an AU where everything is fine and the crew gets home!)

[kabukiaku]

I think they would be good friends actually. 🖤💜👍

[canisalbus]

[ruushes]

🗣️ pay ‼️🗣️ attention ‼️🗣️ to ‼️🗣️ him ‼️

[chloesimaginationthings]

Who do you want FNAF to collab with?..

[pr0cyon-lotor]

AU where chess is a common strategy game in PIDW and SY is a chess master before he gets transmigrated. Like undefeated and well known in the community. He's probably popular even in mainstream social media because he's a pretty boy with a soft demeanor.

Of course he still reads PIDW and is a massive hater, but he now hides it because he sees it as shameful especially with his reputation of being a kind-hearted person.

Anyway he dies and gets thrown into the novel a bit after the Qing generation ascends. He's just a rogue cultivator or maybe even a demon, not really important. What's important is that he gets bored and misses his old hobby.

He finds out chess is a thing in this world and immediately hops into it again. Sadly, he keeps beating people and no one is a real challenge. So to give himself a puzzle, he picks up other strategy games and gets really good at them too. And after a few years, he is well known in PIWD with his skills in a variety of games.

Enter SJ. Fresh off getting LBH into his peak and STRESSED about how much he sees himself in this child and about how much he hates that fact.

He enters the Warm Red Pavilion and finds some guy playing a game with one of the jiejies. One of those little mind games to entertain the guests, and he's playing against the best one.

SJ watches while he waits for his room and to his surprise the man wins. He immediately gets ready to step in-between because whenever guests win against one of the prostitutes they always get handsy and he knows that particular one doesn't like to do sex work (like maybe she specializes in poetry and dancing instead yk).

Instead of the man getting handsy, he asks for another game, which she accepts with a smile. And now SJ is watching them play with much more interest. After a while the madam comes over and asks if he's interested in their regular.

SJ asks about the man and gets his name and finds out that apparently SY comes to the brothel to play against the ladies and listen to music at times.

SJ keeps it in mind and then leaves for his room. The next time he sees SY is during another trip down the mountain (probably dressed down to not draw attention to himself). This time he was in a tea shop playing go against an elderly man. SY wins again and patiently explains what mistakes the old man made.

The old man accepts defeat and asks him for a rematch. SY agrees, and SJ finally approaches out of curiosity. SJ asks if he can play SY after they're done. The old man says something about how he's probably going to lose anyway and says SJ just takes his turn.

SJ accepts it and sits in front of SY. He thinks it's going to be an easy win, something to stroke his bruised ego. Only for him to get completely annihilated like it was an embarrassing lost for him. (It wasn't embarrassing, he almost won, but he didn't win so obviously it was embarrassing)

SJ expects gloating and nearly crushes his fan in his hand. SY tells him that he was a tough opponent and he asks for another rematch. SJ is confused about the sincerity and hesitantly agrees even though his ego tells him to cut his losses now.

They continue to play multiple games in a row, each one getting longer and longer with each mistake SY explains and helps SJ fix (he doesn't even notice he's taking advice from a man). They continue playing and drinking tea until they're kicked out because the shop is closing.

SY laughs sheepishly and says he didn't even notice the time pass. He asks if SJ is free to play again because it's been the first time in years he's had that much fun against someone else. SJ agrees because he refuses to have a losing streak (and he found it a little fun too).

Eventually it becomes a routine, SJ comes down the mountain every week and plays SY in go until the establishment they're in kicks them out. And because his brain is constantly on how to beat SY, he starts neglecting other things (like abusive LBH and other duties).

And because he's neglecting duties, eventually he has to do a information collecting mission with Shang Qinghua. They arrive at the town and they're tasked with collecting information on a lead of a demon hiding within a festival.

Somehow this leads to SY joining their little info gathering group and finding out SQH is Airplane (he's still somehow unaware of SJ being SQQ because of course he is).

Shenanigans ensue and somehow a sting operation is set up with SY being used as bait. He manages to coerce the demon into a game of chess while he waits for SJ and SQH to arrive.

They play chess. He thinks he'll just stall until the two get there, but halfway through he moves his knight and it ends up near the demon's knight. And with a straight face, the demon takes both knights off the board while claiming "And they're both out for horsie marriage."

Right then SJ and SQH arrive to slay the demon, only to bare witness to SY doing the Xianxia equivalent of shooting the demon point blank with a Glock 19 because surprise surprise that bullshit move pissed off the chess master.

SJ says something sarcastic about not needing to save the damsel (they put) in distress. And then SY asks to speak to SQH privately while dragging him out by the ear.

He continues to interrogate the author because what the ACTUAL FUCK was that bullshit move?! And SQH defends himself by saying he never thought a professional chess player would ever read his stuff, much less play the game in-verse. He tells SY he thought it would be funny if that could happen.

Anyway.

SJ has to pry SY off SQH because he almost legitimately strangles him to death. SY is dragged away, screaming things that'd make even a demon blush, and admittedly, SJ is amused.

They end up in some tea shop, SY muttering about the idiocy of it all in English, and SJ ordering for both of them. He asks what got SY so mad since like this guy has had an unshakable pleasant demeanor until now.

SY makes up some story about how his hometown played chess differently and that he's realizing he doesn't know how chess is played anywhere else. He asks SJ for a guide for playing chess because he doesn't want to overreact like he did before.

SJ agrees in exchange for a guide of how his hometown played chess. The deal was made and after they came back to town they both write their manuals. They exchange them in their next meetup, and SY is muttering about how stupid some of the rules are. SJ finds it very funny as he reads the manual SY gave him, finding that he prefers his version since there was less unnecessary traps.

SJ eventually asks to play SY in a chess game once he understands his version. SY happily agrees and they play over and over again until SJ beat him. SY is over the moon and asks for another rematch, which he gets beaten again. They play a few more times wins alternating until SY grabs SJ's hands and tells him he's in love with him and his massive brain.

SJ is caught off guard and flustered, so he hits SY with his fan and calls him shameless as he leaves to preserve as much face as possible. SY whines about him being unfair and follows SJ while apologizing about the comment.

SJ ignores him and leaves SY alone. He thinks he fucked up until the next time they meet, and SJ brings him a book he been meaning to buy but just couldn't find. SY is about to comment on the gift but SJ shuts him up and hides his face behind his fan. He manages to see the smallest hint of a blush and (shockingly) understands.

They both start exchanging gifts each meetup in silent courting. And surprisingly he hasn't abused LBH since he got there (because he forgets to. he has a boyfriend to worry about thank you very much 🤨), so when the Conference comes, SJ doesn't throw LBH into the abyss.

He still ends up in the abyss but only because MF got thrown in when they encountered MBJ, and he jumped after his shixiong. SY is there because of course he wants to stop the evil scum villain from hurting his little lamb, but he's just standing there like

Because how else is he supposed to react to LBH throwing himself into the abyss to go after MF who was thrown in when they encountered MBJ. Was Ming Fan even supposed to be there????

Also why is SJ in such ornate robes. Why is he mourning? Why are they going back to Qing Jing? WHY IS NING YINGYING CALLING SHEN JIU BABA?! WHY IS EVERYONE CALLING HIM SHIZUN?!!!?!???

[eyesforfuma]

thinking about self absorbed K who enjoys watching himself in the mirror while he fucks a bit more than fucking you sometimes

while he does enjoy fucking you (why wouldn't he? you are his little precious pleasure toy) he just loves to fuck you on all fours right in front of the mirror, making sure he has a clear view of both your pretty face and his, he loves when you moan his name and praise him on how good he is at filling you up

"why don’t you tell me how much you enjoy how I fuck you, huh? say it, use your words, tell K how much you love it when i pound into you and fill you up" he says as he pushes his hair back with his hand, never taking his eyes off the mirror

he would groan when you call him handsome or pretty and he uses that as a motivation to pound you even faster and rougher, becoming sloppy and messy which is not usual for him but something about the words "you look so handsome while you make me yours" coming out of your sweet mouth makes him dizzy

he knows how good he looks, he loves watching his muscles flex and even takes pictures sometimes of how good you both look, all sweaty from hours of pleasure

"come here" he would say as he gently pulls you by your hair, pulling you close to him, pressing his chest against your back while he is still inside of you, one arm holds you tightly while his other hand cups your cheeks forcing you to look straight into the mirror "don't you think you look pretty being used like this? flushy cheeks, can't even hold yourself together, mumbling nonsense, coming all over my cock over and over again, being so good for K" while he whispers that into your ear you know he is not even looking at you, both your eyes and his are always focused on his face, on his pretty lips saying all those nasty things and his veiny arms that hold you in place

[doctorsiren]

“It would eat you alive, Sixer”

(Available as a print on my Etsy shop)

[itty-bitty-sunshine]

Hi :)

[pirateprincessjess]

A very serious guide on how to not use pronouns at work.

[ikiprian]

Ghost Kitchen (brought to you by criminal entrepreneur, Red Hood)

Danny’s got the easiest job in Gotham.

He works as a fry cook at a shoddily-run, independent burger joint. Hardly anyone comes in, despite prices being criminally low, and portions insanely large, and while the manager looks like the average tough-as-nails ex-con, he lets Danny mess around in the kitchen whenever the place is empty. (Which is often. This place has to be the city’s hidden gem or something!)

Mr. Manager’s the only one ever there with Danny, except for sometimes when his buddies come over to smoke and play cards. Danny would find it shady, except part of his job is not to ask questions. Literally, he was told during the interview.

(It was a weird interview. Why would they need to hire someone who’s been in a gunfight before? Like, he has, but Gotham’s idea of “hirable qualities” is so bizarre.)

So instead he whips up some killer burgers with the frozen ingredients, and basks in the praise as the guys tell him he shouldn’t have, he does too much for this joint, ain’t that friendly!

Now, Danny’s a chef on the newer side. As a teen he’d preferred the look of Nasty Burger over anything with Michelin stars, and he only really took up cooking after Jazz moved out for college. But just like ecto-exposure used to turn the groceries sentient, Danny’s low-level ecto signature imbues all his food with something historically haunted Gothamites just love! And Danny’s never been one to half-ass a job when it makes people happy.

With fresher produce, real meat, Danny’s sure he can take his dishes to the next level. It takes a couple months of badgering, but his manager finally agrees to contact the mysterious store owner, who keeps the place going, despite profits Danny knows have to be in the red.

Danny spends the morning prepping. He pours his heart into his food, eager to impress. The big boss will be here soon, and he wants to prove that despite the dangerous location, this place has real potential!

It isn’t until the Red Hood shows up that Danny realizes he’s been working for a money laundering scheme.

[selurr]

I think he enjoyed the game 💚

[aingeal98]

Ok so you know how back in the 2000s there were a few jokes about Cass's gender likely because male comic book writers thought it was funny she had muscles? I'm taking that and spinning it to villains genuinely being confused about what to refer to Cass as.

Goon 1: Cmon man she's obviously called Batgirl

Goon 2: Well last month I told him he wasn't Batman and all he said was "Try me."

Goon 1: Have you heard them speak?

Goon 2: Yep. Pure gravel. You really swear that's definitely a girl's voice?

Goon 1: Has anyone ever gotten a good luck at her?

Goon 2: At Batman's stealthier, faster shadow? Come on Doug.

-

1 week later

Goon 1: Jerry you're not gonna believe this. The little Bat saved me from getting my brains blown out by Penguin.

Goon 2: Oh nice! Glad you're still-

Goon 1: I asked them what their pronouns were.

Goon 2:

Goon 1:... And they said "Bat"

Goon 2: Well that settles that then. Why are you still referring to bat as they? You want bat to beat you up next time bat sees you?

-

1 month later

Cass: At first I was confused why villains I save keep complimenting me on my nonbinary swagger. But after Duke explained what that meant... I think I kind of like it. Babs am I... Nonbinary?

Babs, frantically tossing aside her prepared 10 point acceptance speech for when your daughter realises she's a lesbian and scouring her database in search of parenting guides for nonbinary adult children: Honey, you can be whatever you want to be