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goldsbitch · 3 months

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Just don't talk-------

-before I get my story straight.

p9 to Just don't talk

summary: Enemies to lovers on steroids. And it's getting really hard keeping it a secret.

It was only lately that Lando started to notice when people watched and flirted with Y/N. Not the fans exactly, but VIP people roaming around the paddock, engineers and anyone falling into a similar category. How did not see this before? It felt like it was everyone and all the time.

That was of course far from the truth, but when one is crushing hard on somebody, it's hard to realize that the rest of the world might not see your desired person in the same light.

He observed her from afar - she practically glowed. Standing in the shade, talking to some guy. He was so focused on watching her that he noticed only later that he knew very well who that guy was - and it was not a pleasant discovery. Out of all the people around, she managed to get talking to a guy that was as far away from being good news as possible. Lando's father rarely gave him advice, but he made sure to highlight to Lando years ago that this guy came from a very dodgy family that was known for attracting dangerous people. Formula 1 attracted lots of rich people and many of them were just not safe company.

He really tried to focus on his data charts and prepare for practice, but that was virtually getting impossible. Y/N wasn't racing today, as a reserve driver was assigned to the session today. So she stood there, in a cure dress, without a care in the world, getting wrapped in the charm of that fucking guy.

That's it - he had enough and his own self-control took a vacation, as he excused himself and marched down her end of the paddock.

Y/N understood that there were important people attending the races. One would never know how much important sometimes, so she made sure be friendly with everyone who was introduced to her, so that she didn't accidentally close any doors. But sometimes, it was a quest of getting out of the conversation as fast as possible. Creepy, overly friendly strangers, who felt like they were entitled to her attention, just because they were part of the sponsors. She had yet to figure out how to get out of these smoothly. Once again, she was stuck in this type of conversation she had no interest in being in at the first place. So she nodded and smiles.

"I can't accept this," she tried to reject a gift, incredibly expensive watch that this person was trying to put on her hand. He was towering over her and she felt slightly intimidated.

"Oh, hello, Y/N!" was a loud and obnoxious interruption from her current secret crush - Lando. He stormed in and yet again inserted himself into a conversation he was not part of. This time, she was relieved to hear his voice and feel his presence behind her.

"Ah, morning Norris." The guy, who's name she forgot, gave Lando a very cold greeting and extended his right hand into a handshake. Lando shook his hand and noticed the watch and his blood boiled even more. Expensive, but cheap tactics to get her under his spell.

"I'd love to stay and chat, but I have to steal Y/N for a moment - we have some media obligations to attend. Sincerest apologies," he said, not even trying to make it sound convincing. Both of the men knew what kind of a game was at play.

"Ah, busy life of a driver," he said, smiling at Y/N once again. It took Lando all that he had not to physically step between them. "Please, accept this small gift from my family. It's a token of gratitude of what you do for the team," he turned to Y/N once again and tried to get a hold of her hand. This time, Lando did stop him and looked him dead in the eye.

"Ah, that is sweet. But I believe she is contractually obligated to wear only certain brands of watches, correct, Y/N?"

Lando burned with a "don't you fucking dare" stare, one that she'd only seen on his face when she'd stop wanking him out of nowhere before he could finish, just to tease him. It was a very different setting and Y/N was more that happy to nod.

"Sadly, that is true. Though it is very pretty!"

Lando mind screamed with disbelief. Was she for real? Pretty?

He was set on getting them out asap. "We really need to get going. Hope I'll see you again soon." NOT.

"Of course. Please, Norris, say hi to your father. Would like to invite him for a dinner sometime," he responded nonchalantly.

"I definitely will," Lando replied with a crooked smile as he dragged Y/N out without letting her say goodbye. It was a habit for him to pick the least visible path around the paddock. He did not need any prying eyes as he held her hand firmly while sprinting away.

"Lando, slow the fuck down!" she whispered, trying to keep up with him. Normally, Lando would throw in a racing joke, but he was really not in the mood.

"If you wanna a fucking watch, I’ll buy you a watch. With no strings attached," he said, hoping that she'd get his message without him needing to explain it.

Yes, great. No strings attached again. Perfect.

Y/N was happy when Lando came to save her. She thought that he saw her being uncomfortable and decided to save her. But apparently no. It was just a male ego game.

"But what if I want strings attached? What if I want to know you family, friends and be there for the good and the bad?" she almost said outloud - but did not.

"I don't want any watch," she replied eventually.

Lando was annoyed even more now. She was acting all naive again, same as when there was the cloud of confusion about her future in F1. How could someone be so smart and so clueless at the same time? Why did he even care about her getting in trouble? They walked in silence for a moment. Both trying to get out of this rut.

"You look great, by the way," he said to ease the tension. The dress was distracting him from the fact he was somewhat mad at her. Her cleavage pushed up just enough for his liking. He couldn't wait to fuck her again. And preferably to cuddle also afterwards. He had start working on that too. Getting these other men out of her head.

"Thank you," she said, unable to prevent her cheeks from blushing. He missed that, as he walked fast like a mad man. "Where are we going exactly?" she asked as she rushed slightly behind Lando.

"Somewhere private."

He dragged through the side entrance into the McLaren space, at some point even reaching for her hand to keep her close. Luckily, they hadn't raised any alarm passing by on the way to his driver room. Her heart was beating slightly faster than his.

Lando was rilled up after watching the guy flirt with her so shamelessly. She was way better than those people. Precious. His.

He swiftly opened the door, let her in and then locked it. She was looking at him with her doe eyes, looking all cute and sweet. Not her usual look. There was tenderness in her face.

"I like you in dresses," he said as he walked closer to her.

"Do you now?"

He nodded and took a strand of her hair and put it behind her ear. She batted her eyes and that was when he lost it. There was just so much about her that he was attracted to - he wanted to know everything. What were her desires? Darkest fantasies? What made her shiver? What made her scream in pleasure. He knew lots of things, from all of their "practice sessions" they'd have. But this was more about her mind then body. He wanted to mind fuck her into becoming obsessed with him. To hell with healthy.

He picked her up, sat her on a table, put his hand on the back of her neck and slammed his mouth onto hers. She gasped, slightly suprised, but quickly opened her mouth and invited him in. They way she sat there, legs slightly open, was driving him mad. She wrapped around his torso and Lando felt his growing cock hitting his suit. She smiled, knowing well enough what she was doing to him. He moved to kiss her neck, trying to avoid making a mark, but it was so hard when she was moaning so beautifully. He squeezed her boobs, after having to stay away from them the moment he saw the dress hugging her tightly. It was passionate, yet every touch came not only with eagerness but also care. He had selfish thought - but not about making himself feel good, but about being the one who made her feel great. He was about to put his hand under her skirt and tease her more, but his actions were interrupted by the other door opening.

"Fuck," he said, burying his head into her neck. He forgot to lock the door to Oscar's room. "Osc! Hello mate. Get out."

Oscar stood there, more annoyed than confused. "Mate, I don't care about what you do, but half of the team is looking for you."

Y/N was mortified. They really should be more careful.

"Great. I'm coming in a moment," Lando said to Oscar, visibly irritated.

"Again, I can see that, but we need you at the engineer room." Oscar joked, but as he saw that Lando was looking for something to throw at him, he backed away. "Joking, joking. And also leaving. Hi, Y/N," he waved at her awkwardly.

"Hey," she responded, utterly humiliated. "Can you please keep this between us?" she asked quietly.

Lando was hurt by the shame he heard in her voice. Was she ashamed by being seen with him?

"I was never here," was Oscar's simple reply as he walked out the way he came in. Yet again, another moment of silent tension.

"Lando, this is getting out of hand," she said, after analysing how much her hormones dictated her actions. Even now, after being caught by Oscar, the only thing she wished for was to see Lando's eyes closing while coming and his body getting all tense - as it usually did.

He was flustered and went into damage control mode. He had good faith in Oscar and his confidentiality. It was here her that he was worried about. Cold feet. Not now, not when started to become sure himself and what he actually wanted. "I know, I know." He wanted to stay there with and talk, figure shit out. But he had responsibilities. And these things were better not rushed. And he was a good ol' chicken anyway. "Y/N, please stay calm and don't do any rushed decision. I gotta run now, but let's put a pause and resume soon. Does that work for you?"

How could she do anything else when he his intense stare was making her melt. Raw honesty in the air.

"Of course."

"Good," he said and kissed her goodbye. As if he had done that thousand times before.

He rushed away and she sat there for good two minutes before making any move. One thought skipping over another.

p10

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@scopeiguess @leclercsluv @sulliamour @starmanv @riverxsq @eviethetheatrefreak @chonkybonky @bicchaan @saachiep81

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static-fucking-mess · 4 months

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"Billy—"

A dull buzzing thrummed through Billy's head as he pushed his palms into his eyes. The explosion of color there brought on by the pressure could almost be grounding, but it felt like the whole room was spinning. His ears rang, and his stomach felt cold. Was he shaking?

"Billy—"

The voice came to him like a dull roar from above water. God it felt like he was drowning. The pressure closing in on his ribs made each breath like labor pain. He was going to be sick, God he was sure of it. Was he crying?

Billy nearly jumped out of his skin when impossibly gentle hands grazed the outsides of his arms. Wide eyed and alarmed, Billy flinched into himself with his hands balled into fists, like he was getting ready to defend against a strike. A cornered animal with fangs ready to bite.

All at once that voice from above water came crashing in on him like a soothing balm. Eddie's dark eyes filled with so much love Billy almost feared he would overflow from it. He had to close his eyes again. It felt like salt in a raw wound to be treated so softly when all Billy felt like he was made of violence and razor wire.

"There he is; hey sweetheart. You had a nightmare," Eddie whispered to him. Billy registered that he was in fact crying, as Eddie's calloused thumbs were brushing the tears off his cheeks. Billy clenched his jaw until it creaked, trying not to fall to pieces. But how could he not when his boyfriend's arms encircled him and cared for each little piece like it was precious?

"I know," Eddie soothed, his palm spreading between Billy's shoulders, rubbing down his back and up again in large, soothing circles. "Which one?" He asked with gentle concern.

"S... seeing them m... melt away. The cold... the..." the sauna dream... where the walls of melted faces would echo back to him the things that vecna had told him. The helpless feeling of screaming for anyone to believe him. Believe him. It wasn't his fault. It wasn't. That monster made him, he didn't WANT to hurt people.

"It's 2:16 am, we're in our apartment in Chicago. It's Saturday morning. We had— do you remember what we had for dinner? I totally forgot," there was a gentle humor in Eddie's voice. "Remind me, sweetheart."

Billy wrinkled his nose and stopped to think about what a bizarre question that was, his stuttering breaths coming just a little easier as he thought back to earlier in the evening when Eddie had the radio cranked, singing along to My Sharona in weird ass voices, just to make Billy laugh. He'd made—

"Macaroni and cheese. Right from scratch... with hotdogs in it."

His favorite.

"With lactose free milk and cheese," Billy added quietly. Because those things mattered to Eddie. Billy's preferences and health. The things that would make him sick.

"You said I added too much pepper," Eddie teased, pressing sweet kisses to his cheek, his temple, the top of his head. Each one felt like a tiny 'I love you'.

"You did," Billy grouched, fingers twisting and untwisting in the ends of Eddie's curly hair. "See...? Gave me nightmares," he accused, allowing himself that small edge of humor.

Eddie laughed, but covered his heart with his hand as he pulled back to look at Billy, his whole expression lit with affection. Like he was searching for all the little broken parts of Billy to piece back together and love.

"Well you have my sincerest apologies, Sir Hargrove. Next time I will pluck each pepper from thy noodles until it is unto your standard," he snickered, and stole a tender kiss off Billy's reluctant smile.

"You better, Munson. And I expect the hot dogs more plentiful next time too."

"Of course, of course," Eddie smiled, rocking them both back and forth until Billy was laughing in his arms.

"I love you," Billy blurted, before he realized he'd said it. And then it was out there, and he tensed for the blow to come. The one that would wrench all that comfort away. He waited for Eddie to react more profoundly than he did.

"I love you too."

Like it was as easy as breathing. Because to Eddie, it was. Billy Hargrove was easy to love. Every jagged piece of him. And more than any conversation about grief, or dinner, or comfort Eddie could spin, those three words did more to comfort away the remnants of the nightmare than anything else. Because someone who didn't love you wouldn't see him the way Eddie did. Eddie loved like it was in short supply and he had an unlimited amount to give. Every gentle touch and action spoke to it. Especially when he squeezed Billy right to him to try and sink those words into his bones.

"I love you too."

#eddie munson #stranger things #mungrove #billy hargrove #y'all deserve something soft after today

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arc-misadventures · 2 years

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New Friends, Awkward Introductions

Coco Adel, Beacons fashion icon walked down the halls of Beacon academy with a strut in her step, and style in her soul. But as she was walked bast this handsome blond hair teen, she could help but be overwhelmed by a song that he sang. And the broken, bit she was picking up was starting to drive her mad.

(How long… Have I… Away? Oh it feels… only days…)

Coco: Hey!

( The truth is… Dreams.)

Coco: Hey, blondie!

: (Hmm? A-Are you talking to me?)

Coco: Do you know of any other blonds?

: (Well… At least two here, so…?)

Coco: Forget that… What’s you name?

: (Oh, allow me to introduce myself; My name is, Jaune, Jaune Arc. And, who are you, Ms…?)

Coco: Adel, Coco Adel.

Jaune: (It is a pleasure to meet you, Ms. Adel.)

Coco: Hold on…? Why the hell can I hear your voice in my head, but your lips aren’t moving at all? Is this some sort of semblance?

Jaune: (Impressive. Seldom does anyone notice such things unless I point them out. And, you are correct it is my semblance; I am a empath. I can project my thoughts, more often my voice into the heads of others.)

Coco: So that’s why I could hear a singing in my head!

Jaune’s eyes flared in shock as he embarrassedly scratched the back of his head.

Jaune: (My apologies… I was trying to get some emotions I picked up out of my head. Singing songs is by far the most effective way to clear my head. I forgot to keep it contained. Once again, I offer my sincerest apologies.)

Coco: What were you trying to block out?

Jaune: (I’m not sure you want to know.)

Coco: Oh please, I’m a big girl, I can take it. Spill it, Handsome.

A slight blush spread across his face, Coco dropped her glasses down a bit to stare down the boy, despite the fact the fact she was shorter than him. Jaune finally relented as he pointed to a supply closet in the middle of the hallway.

Jaune: (See that door over there?)

Coco: The supply closet; What about it?

Jaune: (Well as I was walking by it, I accidentally picked up on the emotions of the duo of inside of there.)

Coco: Oh, so what’s making you blush then, did you read the minds of two people getting it on?

Coco made a wide smug smile as she saw, Jaune’s reddening face as he all, but confirmed her suspicions. She let out a short laugh as she slap his side in shock.

Coco: Oh damn! Those lucky bastards!

Jaune: (Ehh… Well, lucky for guy at least…)

Jaune grimaced as, Coco stared him down, clearly wanting an answer. Jaune looked about stuggling to find an answer, till relenting, and deciding to go with the most direct of answers.

Jaune: (Okay, I’ll explain what I mean… Just… Just brace yourself.)

Coco: Brace myself! For whaaa…?!

Pleasure, joy, and satisfaction; sensations, Coco knew all too well but never before felt this way before. She could feel a wealth of emotion flood her body, warming her core outward. A breathless moan left her lips, and then is suddenly vanished, casing her to pitch forward, nearly falling over if, Jaune hadn’t been there to catch her.

Jaune: (You okay?)

Coco: Whoa… That’s intense…?!

Jaune: (Sorry; intense emotions tend to be overwhelming upon the senses.)

Coco: Hence why you were singing?

Jaune: (Hence the singing.)

Coco: That felt good… Does it always feel good?

Jaune: (No.)

Coco: Oh come on, if you can feel stuff that good, then it must…?!

Discomfort, disappointment, and a desire to be finished, and fakery flooded her mind, a feeling that sent her recoiling. Even in her high heel boots it make, Coco feel flatfooted. It was such an uncomfortable unnerving feeling, that she started to shake as if trying to shake the vile feeling off of her. And then, it was gone.

Coco: Oh gods that was disgusting?!

Jaune: (Welcome to my personal hell…)

Coco: Is it always like that?

Jaune: (Sometimes its vile, and sometimes its pleasant. It just depends on who I’m around.)

Coco: Well, for what it’s worth, I’m sorry.

Jaune just smiled, and Coco could feel a wave of comfort, and ease within that smile. And, she found out, that she rather enjoyed his smile.

Jaune: (Now then, I think it best we leave before anything happens.)

Coco: Are you kidding! I want to know who’s in there!

Jaune’s eyes widened in shock as he stared down at the girl as if she was crazy.

Jaune: (Why do you want to know who’s in there?!)

Coco: Just think about it, Handsome~! Two people, hiding in a closet, having some fun… Well, at least one of them is. But, imagine the look on their faces when they come out, and us, giving them an all knowing smirk as they walk away… Ha! Oh this will be fun~!

Jaune just facepalmed as he ran he hand down his face, a tired groan escaping his lips as his head fell in exhaustion.

Jaune: (Good gods, you remind me of my sisters, once they found out about my semblance, I was force to do this crap all the time. Until they learned the lesson of knowing what they don’t want to be known…)

Jaune glared down at the fashionista as she smugly stared back at him.

Coco: So is that a no…?

Jaune: (Oh, I’ll stay. But, rest assured you’ll regret it.)

Coco: We’ll see about that~!

The duo then lent against a near by wall waiting for the couple to show themselves to be judged, Jaune grew tired of accidentally picking up on their emotions decided to break the mood.

Jaune: (So… That’s quite the extravagant outfit you have on, the glasses in particular really sell the whole look of yours. It is quite fetching.)

A smug, and confident smile spread across, Coco’s face as she playfully jabbed his side with her elbow.

Coco: Oh, checking out my gorgeous looks now aren’t you~! Well I must say, I do dress to impress. You ain’t looking too bad yourself tiger~! That uniform was tailored perfectly, fitting across those board shoulders perfectly. MmHmm~! I’d love to meet your tailor.

Jaune blushed lightly as his fingers ran over the off-black uniform he wore. Admiring its silver buttons, and the dashes of orange throughout it.

Jaune: (My older sister, Thiriana made it for me. She said it is one of her finest works to date. It may look like regular, every day fabric, but this is Hunter grade fabric. It can take an absolute beating, but still come out like I took it from the dry cleaners, but a scare few moments ago. Saved my life countless times because of her.)

Coco: Functional, and stylish. I like it~! You’re sister…? Hmm… You said your last name was, Arc right?

Jaune: (Correct.)

Coco’s brow furrowed deep in thought, the name rang a bell, but from where, and to what she knew, yet didn’t. Suddenly her eyes shot wide open as it dawned on her. She quickly snapped her fingers, and point an accusatory finger at, Jaune.

Coco: Thiriana Arc?! The Golden Seamstress! The owner of Heavenly Arch fashion industries! That’s your sister?!!

Jaune: (Ahh-hahaha~! You know of my older sister. Then again, that shouldn’t be so much of an unexpected surprise that someone so fashionable as yourself has not heard of my sisters work.)

Coco: You’re kidding! I practically buy out most of her seasonal fashion… that fits someone of my build that is.

Jaune couldn’t help, but give her the once over as he inspected her rather petite, yet alluring form. His overall thought was to simply shrug his shoulders dismissively at her words.

Jaune: (It can’t be helped; my sister, along with the rest of my sisters are rather well endowed. Such a choice in her clothing is only natural. Besides it’s not like it matters, you know expertly what to wear that helps accentuate your bodies natural proportions. Flawlessly I might add.)

Coco smug smile grew as she clapped his back in appreciation.

Coco: Look at you trying to charm your way into my pants now aren’t you~?

Jaune: (I merely speak the truth. And, if I did get in, I can assure you that I can easily make sure you would enjoy is greatly~!)

Coco: Is that one of advantages of being an empath~?

Jaune: (Would you prefer a written report, or a hands on demonstration?)

Coco could help but loose a low whistle at his smooth talking. As she returned his smug smile with one of her own.

Coco: You’re good, oh you’re really good~!

Jaune: (So are you my dear. Alas, I strive to be a proper gentleman, I am not the first date kind of man. The third however~?)

Coco: Hohoho~!

Coco licked her lips in desire as a thirst played about them. She wasn’t the kind of girl who just tumble in the hay for the hell of it, but this cocky bastard. Oh he knew how to get her motor going. Semblance, or not he knew what the ladies liked.

Coco: In that case why don’t we…?!

Before, Coco could explore on how proficient of a lover her new friend was, the door to the supply closet finally opened, and out came a man with an overconfident, smug smile as he walked away the opposite way they were. Whistling some annoying show tune as he went.

Coco: Ugh… Not that fucker…

Jaune: (Friend of yours?)

Jaune cheekily remarked as, Coco turned on him, and made a retching motion as she punched him in the arm hard.

Coco: Fuck no! I hate that bastard! Think he’s all hot shit, and a true ladies man! Like hell he is! Wait… you ‘told’ me how the lady he was with felt… Oh, oh I am so going to use this against him~!

Jaune: (So he is as one of my sisters would say: “Can walk the walk, but can’t work the cock.” If you’ll pardon the language.)

Coco: PFFT! Hahaha! Oh gods that is good! You’ve got to introduce me to your sisters, they sound like a riot!

Jaune: (I bet you would get along famously. No doubt, Thiriana would grab you as a model for her clothing in a moment.)

Coco: You sir, are now my new best male friend!

Jaune: (The pleasure is all mine then, Coco.)

Coco: Now lets silently judge whoever it os that comes out of that room~!

Jaune: (You can judge them if you want, I like to think myself above such actions. Whomever they are they are an adult, and responsible for their own actions.)

Coco laughed at his comment as she looked at him like he was the biggest idiot there ever was.

Coco: Like hell! Whoever is in there decided to get it on with that bastard! So who ever they are, they have to be the biggest of sl…?! VELVET?!!

Velvet: COCO?! W-W-What are you doing here?!

Jaune: (Friend of yours?)

Jaune calm retorted as she grabbed a hold of her teammate, shaking her about as she checked her over.

Coco: What were you doing in there with him?!

Velvet: H-Him…? Oh him, we were just asked to take innovatory. That’s all.

Coco: Innovatory of what: Your underwear?! Don’t lie to me young lady! My new friend is an empath, he can read your thoughts, and told me you two were having sex!

Velvet: You can?!

Jaune simply smiled as he waved at the bunny girl.

Jaune: (Hello, my name is, Jaune, Jaune Arc. And, I’m an empath, I can feel your emotions, not read your mind.)

Velvet: Oh that’s good… I guess…

Coco: Fuck your emotions! Did he blackmail you, bribe you, converse you?! Why did you try, I know you didn’t enjoy it, I felt you lack of enthusiasm being with him…

Velvet: You did?! How?!!

Jaune: (Empath: I can share emotions of others.)

Velvet: You can?!

Coco: Fuck his cool, and really useful semblance! WHY DID YOU FUCK HIM!!!

Velvet: I-I’m going through that… time… A-And, I need an outlet, so…

Coco: Couldn’t you have found someone better than him?!

Velvet: I couldn’t think of anyone else. And, we used protection! So relax, I’m fine!

Coco: That’s it! I’m going to march over to that fucker! And rip off his… his…?

Coco stopped shaking her friend as she slowly turned to face, Jaune. As she could feel a blanket filled with a calming aura cover her in its embrace. All the while, Jaune calmly smiled at her.

Jaune: (Feeling better?)

Coco: A bit… Was that your influence?

Jaune: (There’s a universe of emotions out there! I do apologize though. I don’t like doing that to people without warning them, but I felt like it was the right thing to do in this circumstance.)

Coco: You right… Thank you, Jaune. Look, Velvet… You’re an adult and you can do what you like, I just wish it was with someone better. And, I’m your friend I worry about you! So… I’m sorry for freaking out like that.

Velvet smiled softly as she gave her friend a tight hug before pulling away gently patting her arms as she stared at her.

Velvet: I know you do, Coco. That’s part of the reason I like you so much. And, your right I shouldn’t have done it with him… That was so disappointing…

Coco laughed as she hugged her friend again before point her thumb over her shoulder at, Jaune.

Coco: You should do it with this guy next time, he’s got the, Adel Approval! And, based on how his semblance works; He knows what the ladies like~!

Velvet: Coco?!

Jaune just rolled his eyes as he shot, Coco an all knowing smile.

Jaune: (Do it yourself you coward. Half of the reason you’re so angry was because it wasn’t you in there hopping your little bunny.)

Coco spun on the dime, her face flush with embarrassment as she stared down the empath.

Coco: HOW THE FUCK DO YOU KNOW THAT?!!!

Jaune: (Empath~!)

Coco: This better be a one way communication because of it isn’t, I will kill you!

Velvet could only stare on is utter bewilderment as she saw what clearly was a one side conversation between her furious team leader, and the chuckling empath against the wall.

Velvet had no idea what was going on, but she at least knew this:

This year at Beacon was going to be a wild one.

#rwby #jaune arc #coco adel #velvet scarlatina #coco x velvet #velvet x coco #coco x jaune #jaune x coco #rwby crosshares #empath au

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saltedsolenoid · 2 years

Note

WWAIF SYDNEY WHAT FLOWERS WOULD HOU ASSIGN MUTUALS

[Take 2 of this post, since I accidentally deleted the first version... whoops....]

[I'll be tagging everyone I mention in this post, if this is an annoyance; sincerest apologies!! In this same vein, if I don't find a flower for a mutual, I apologize, for one, I'm incredibly forgetful, second, I feel anxious tagging mutuals that I might not know as well, but if anyone wants a flower and was not listed: I would be happy to assign you one! There are lots of flowers in the world :)]

First off, we find The One Who Asked: Piper @aliceyabusamesoneball! Though it may be viewed as a rather basic answer for your character: A pink chrysanthemum. But, if you wanted a runner up, a black-eyed susan.

Next, how about one Kid Child @kidfoundonstreets? That should work well. I'd assign you both a daylily and some daisies.

For a @sumi-tunes : Yellow and orange osmanthus fragrans, better known as tea olive flowers!

Maddie @hinako-supremacy -- I assign you all types and colors of hyacinths... they're cool.

Ves @gh0stquartz : For you, I humbly assign a moonflower/morning glory and kalmia latifloria, better known as mountain laurel! yippie!

Kairi, most commonly known by star's tumblr handle @thelogicalreaper : Atropa belladonna, otherwise known as deadly nightshade! I think this is typically the part of the post I'd apologize for associating you with a poisonous flower, but you gotta admit, the aesthetic here is top-tier.

Cloud, @forecast-rain, I humbly present to you: blue delphinium and white poppies!

[A final note to go at the end: I planned to include Kat, Archer, and Thiu in this. However, I literally cannot think of any flowers for any of them. Please don't doubt me when I say that I spent about 10 minutes trying to figure it out. Sincerest apologies!]

[With that, though I'm almost positive I forgot a few people, that's all I've got! Thank you for coming!]

#long post #meowtuals #ask

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aparticularbandit · 1 year

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Be Mine, Valentine - Prologue

Summary: The first time Claire Valentine laid eyes on Eve Mackie, she knew she was in love.

Over the years, Claire expected that Eve forgot about her. Forgot that they’d almost been married, forgot that she’d promised to be Mrs. Valentine. She tried to forget about her, too, just like she tried to be anyone other than Claire, to fit into the skin that her father sketched out for her. But the more she tried, the thinner it grew, until she felt like she was splitting.

Then her parents died, and everything changed.

Part of The Valentines Collection.

Claire Debella/Eve Fletcher Chapter Rating: G. Fic Rating: Undetermined due to uncertainty regarding future content; will likely be T or above.

Author’s Note:

Claire and Eve are both using their maiden names; thus Claire Valentine and Eve Mackie.

Claire is trans in this fic. I write Claire as trans. This fic will deal fairly heavily with that. She is not out to most people and won’t be for a while. As a result, there will be unintentional misgendering by other characters and use of what will eventually be her dead name. They do not know. My sincerest apologies.

AO3

The first time Claire Valentine laid eyes on Eve Mackie, she knew she was in love.

Of course, the first time Claire saw Eve, she was all of six years old, a tiny little scrap of a thing in a body that didn’t feel quite so uncomfortable yet, in skin that didn’t feel quite so stretched thin. She wasn’t even Claire yet; sometimes she took her mother’s name out and tried it on the same way that you or I might pull out fine china for special occasions (or our most favorite hoodie on rainy days when we just want to crawl back into bed and cover our head), but it never fit just right. When she heard Eve’s name, she tried it on immediately – considered herself a Mackie instead of a Valentine – and then remembered that, if they ever were married, Eve would take her name and become Eve Valentine, and then her initials would be EV, so her initials would be the same as her name! She’d snickered at that, at her own private little joke, and then noticed Eve flushing a bright scarlet, tears pooling in her eyes.

“I didn’t mean it,” Claire had said because she didn’t know how to explain her joke. She bit her lower lip. “You’re really cute.”

Eve glanced up, and her eyes had been very big and very blue. Like the sky! “Mama says that…that boys tease girls when they like them.” She struggled to make the words and spoke so softly that Claire had to strain to hear her. “You’re teasing me,” she continued, brow furrowing, “so that means you have to like me?” Up to that moment, she’d been so firm in what she was saying, but at the end, uncertainty crept into her tone, twisting it into a doubtful question. Still, she met Claire’s eyes, hopeful.

More hopeful that Claire only bullied her because she liked her and less hopeful that Claire liked her, but they were six and didn’t quite know what that meant just yet.

Claire smiled her biggest, most toothiest grin. She’d pulled one of her two front teeth a few days before, and if she tried really hard, she could whistle through it. She already wanted to show Eve later because she wanted them to be the best of friends. “Your eyes are really pretty.”

At Claire’s words, Eve beamed, splitting her face with the most prettiest smile that Claire thought she could have ever seen. Her face lit up inside like a Christmas tree light! Amazing! Then Eve reached out and grabbed Claire’s hand. “You’re my new best friend,” she whispered confidentially. She gave her a tug. “Let’s go play on the monkey bars!”

They kissed once, three months later, the way that children do, just mimicking their parents, while playing house. Then Eve promised that she would be Mrs. Valentine, and her little neighbor friend married them. Claire’s parents caught them mid-ceremony and threw the whole thing off. It was horrible. It was wonderful.

Then Claire’s parents decided that their little boy didn’t deserve to go to school with the rest of the riff-raff and paid exorbitant amounts of money to settle him into Haddington’s singular private school. Eve continued at Haddington Elementary. They saw each other at church every now and again, but Claire’s father would drag her away immediately after. “You make friends at your new school,” he would say. “That girl is not worth your time.”

Then her parents died, and everything changed.

#bandit fic #be mine valentine with claireve #claireve #claire debella #eve fletcher #claire debella x eve fletcher #eve fletcher x claire debella #mrs. fletcher #glass onion #i'm honestly terrified to write and post this #please be gentle with me and with this fic #the valentines collection

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bloodiegawz · 8 months

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sorry i forgot to fandom tag that my sincerest apologies if anyone has my anime game blocked

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likebreadandwine · 2 years

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Police Chief here again (oh my Ms, what a reply!!) ... A full report will be incoming very soon! Once colleagues' buttons here have stopped popping!!! ... But my sincerest apologies to dorianbleu who commented on your post of my ask (and others whom I may have offended too). I completely forgot to include they - as well as other pronouns - in my ask. It was drafted in haste, but that's still no excuse. My sincerest apologies to anyone who felt left out by that post. That wasn't my intention at all. I'm very sorry. Very welcoming of all pronouns here - and believe this kink/fetish should be a safe space for all! And I appreciate being pulled up on it too, my bad. The more the merrier as always in my book (... although you might expect me to say that!) ... *picks up a second donut and loosens belt*

you heard it direct from the Chief, folks!

thanks for keeping this space inclusive. let's be generous with each other, but always honest. call out the behaviour; call in the people still learning and growing.

#asks and answers #anonymous

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dorikaze · 2 months

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oh my goodness, i completely forgot about this blog… i was just doomscrolling before bed and it hit me that i had started this… my sincerest apologies to those who sent in request for my launch “event” (if you could even call it that) that i didn’t get to; i simply just do not love writing in the same way i used to, i am far more of a casual enstars player, and i’m not quite keeping up with any new lore. i realized that i never actually gave this blog a proper “closure” statement, and i wanted to provide one. (though, with how short-lived it was, i doubt anyone truly felt grief over the death of this humble fic blog, hahaha).

now i’m rambling, so i’ll cut to the chase: i wanted to make an official “goodbye” (after almost 2 years, i know; the irony is not lost on me). i have not been active on tumblr, the enstars fandom, and fanfic platforms in general for a while, and i plan to keep it that way for the sake of my “life plan.” i thoroughly enjoyed my short time here, but i wish to reiterate that i will not be coming back. perhaps, maybe i’ll pop in to chat, but no writing. rereading the short drabble-esque pieces i wrote evoked some nostalgia in me, but i will admit i still cringed a little, and it made me realize that my writing style now is far too different for any continuity of this blog, in the case i were to revive it. that is not to mention that the stacked up draft list is frankly very intimidating lol. maybe someday i’ll pick up writing again for a different fandom under a different blog and alias (maybe even a different platform), but it’s a dead-end for dorikaze…

TDLR; thank you for my time here, i really enjoyed it. no, i will not be coming back.

#validis ventis loqui #if i were to update you guys on anything though: i’m chiakiP kuroP nagisaP and adonisP #i still love all of them though!!!

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ellyvator · 1 year

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Sincerest apologies if anyone saw me reblog that. That did not belong on this blog lol. Haven’t been on this site in ages and forgot how to manage owning multiple blogs I guess.

#text #personal

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nlights37 · 4 years

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Oh, goodie! How about 7 (I've been asking this one to everyone, lol) & 14? I hope you have a fantastic day, and thank god it's friday!!!!

7. Favorite author.

See I know I’m gonna fuck this up because I don’t know everyone’s @’s on here, so if I use your ao3 name instead and it’s different on here I am very sorry. I am old and shit. Me no computer well.

All-time All-stars for me (in no particular order, a bitch has to scroll through her bookmarks and I’m SURE I will accidentally leave people out so bear with me hahaha):

@noordinarylines (this is like naming myself tbh), @notpmahlem, @thescarletgarden1990, @ashleyfanfic, @justwandering-neverlost, @jalenmara, @opensky09, @magalidragon (brain twinsies), @tomakeitbeautifultolive, @mysticmyllee, @ktwrites, @hot-auntie-dany, @esteriivy (I will still come clock that bitch for you), @stilesssolo, @frostbitepandaaaaa (I LOVE YOU BITCH I AIN’T EVER GONNA STOP LOVING YOU BITCH) - just to name a few.

I am really enjoying progressing through @aenarsnow‘s tumblr collection though I am WOEFULLY behind! And am working my way through a ton of others so this list is constantly being added to!

14. What’s the most research you ever put into a book (fic in this case)?

I spent a solid week trolling through every online ugly christmas sweater website I could find to pick out the sweaters Jon and Dany would give each other in Something Stupid. They are my twitter header and icon photo now, also :) I also bought Mr. Lights the one with the reindeer that said “HORNY” in big letters, just FYI hahahaha.

Thank you so much for the asks you beautiful angel @choosekindnesstoday! TGI-Fucking-F!

#writer ask game #a lunatic answers questions #my christmas sweater game is OFF THE CHARTS #my SINCEREST APOLOGIES TO ANYONE I FORGOT #jonerys #fanfic

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albakore · 3 years

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D,J,W nsfw alphabet for Thoma? Also, congrats on 200+ followers!

A/N: thanks, you're so sweet!! <3

Warnings: not sfw (18+)! getting caught, catching him, using your underwear to jack himself off, masturbation (him), mention of a dildo

(gn!reader)

Thoma

D (Dirty secret)

I think it'll come as no surprise that he likes to steal your underwear to use to jack himself off.

He's even done it so often at this point that the embarrassment has started to fade

He's also become less careful when he does it, going from carefully hiding all evidence and making absolutely sure he cleans up after himself to leaving your soiled underwear in the hamper in plain sight and taking out of the freshly washed laundry bin -- something you're sure to notice missing after you just washed them

Thoma waited for the sound of the door closing behind you as you left off for the day. Not even moments after you left he made his way over to the dresser and pulled out his favorite pair of your underwear. He had seen you wear this pair often, able to envision clearly in his mind the picture of him bunching the fabric to the side as he pushed into you. Obviously, he would've much preferred to have you here with him, but alas you were busy and he couldn't help the feeling of need growing in him.

He wrapped the cloth around his cock and started pumping himself slowly, precum already forming a wet patch in the fabric. He whined your name while he bucked into his hand. Slowly but surely the pressure built up, the noises falling from his lips going higher and higher in pitch until--

"Uh, Thoma? I forgot my-" You started, peaking in through a crack at the door. He jumped at the sound of your voice, cheeks flushing instantly at the state he was in. Your eyes zeroed in on what he was holding almost instantly, even as he tried to hide them. "Are those my.. aw c'mon I just washed those!" You groaned jokingly.

J (Jack off)

This one goes hand in hand with my last one!

I think Thoma masturbates quite often for a variety of reasons: he has a high sex drive, it's a good way to relieve stress, sometimes you two's schedule just doesn't line up-

Because of this, he's gotten quite creative with ways to get himself off. Sometimes the trusty hand-and-lotion method works, but other times he'd rather try something different.

Sometimes that includes him stealing your underwear, sometimes it includes him grinding against your pillow, I suspect he even has a dildo that he uses while imaging its you fucking him

Thoma groaned as he pushed the toy backed into his hole, hands already drenched in a mix of lube and cum. He'd lost track of the amount of times he's cum already and he still wasn't ready to stop, the feeling of his prostate being stimulated so addicting. He had the image of you playing in his mind, teasing him right before leaving to go do your daily obligations. You had let your tongue swirl over him tip, finger prodding his entrance as he begged for you to hurry up. Instead, you left him there with his cock flushed pink and bucking into nothing with tears pricking his eyes.

Thoma's back arched at just the thought, picking up his pace with the dildo. His other hand wrapped around himself, thumb mimicking the way you'd trace his veins with your tongue. He moaned loudly, feeling himself nearing the edge. His arms were starting to get sore but he didn't slow his pace as he desperately chased his release. "Ngh hah-ah~" He moaned loudly, cum spurting out of his tip again for the nth time this evening. He paused his motions to let himself catch his breath and admire the mess he made all over the sheets. Hm, maybe another round wouldn't hurt?

W (Wild card)

I think Thoma really enjoys the idea of a threesome

only if you're ok with it though of course, he wouldn't ever want to make you insecure or jealous with his fantasies

it doesn't really matter to him who joins, but it has to be someone he trusts. in his mind he thinks of Ayaka whenever pondering the idea but that's just because they're close so he thinks she may be comfortable with it

Also, Ayaka has definitely caught you two fucking in the Kamisato manor before (Thoma started it)

Your hand flew to your mouth as he thrusted into you again. His face was buried in the crook of your neck as he also fought the urge to make sounds of pleasure while he had you pinned up against the wooden wall. You weren't quite sure how you made it into this situation, all you could remember was Thoma kissing your neck and his fingertips ghosting your sides. He was practically purring in your ear as he described in detail the dirty dream he had of you. One thing led to another and now here you were, stuffed full of his cock and trying your hardest not to draw the attention of anyone else in the manor.

"Hey Thoma, did you find my-" Ayaka froze, staring at Thoma's back as he breathed heavily. His hips froze too, lifting his head and peering over his shoulder. Luckily his body was shielding yours from view.

"Um, milady, it's not wha-"

"My s-sincerest apologies, I should've knocked!" You could practically hear the blush in Ayaka's voice as it wavered slightly. She turned around promptly to exit the room, almost bumping into the door frame on her way out.

"Wait!" Thoma called before common sense could get the better of him. "Do you want to join us, perhaps?"

#thoma smut #thoma x reader #thoma x you #genshin tohma #genshin thoma #tohma x reader #tohma smut #genshin impact x reader #genshin x reader

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drwcn · 3 years

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《 Without Envy 》 storyboard 9 - concubine/sleeper agent!wwx & prince!lwj [Master List], you should also have read [6] [6.2]

Lan Qiren coming to visit Hanguang-fu effectively put an end to Wei Wuxian's time as Lan Wangji's servant. He wanted to send Wei Wuxian back to Jiang-fu, but luckily, Jiang Yanli interfered.

Jiang Yanli has been slowly recovering since her drug-induced miscarriage, and while Wei Wuxian had slowed her progress with sedatives, he's been careful to keep an eye on her intake to make sure Jin Ziyan hasn't been messing with her again. As well, with Wei Wuxian occupying Lan Wangji's time and keeping the Jiang family in his good graces, Jiang Yanli had the time she needed to recover fully without needing to push herself to entertain Lan Wangji for favour.

“妾身见过太师，给太师请安。” “阿离啊，听说你小产后一直身体不好，这下着雨，你怎么来了。起身吧, 孩子。” “承蒙太师与陛下惦记，殿下垂怜，阿离的身子已经大好了。阿羡本是妾身院里的，是妾身的陪嫁，一直都安分守己，对王府对殿下忠心不二。是妾身无用，身子一直不见好才让阿羡到王爷身边侍奉。刚见阿羡被太师训斥，相比是阿离平日里管教无方，无心顶撞了太师。有什么过错，都是妾身的错，还请太师责罚。” ~translate~ Jiang Yanli dipped into a proper curtsey, kneeling before Lan Qiren, "This humble concubine greets Taishi. I pray that you've been well." "A-Li, I've heard that you've not been well since your miscarriage. It's raining today, what troubled you to come? Rise, child." Lan Qiren's stance softened upon seeing Jiang Yanli. His late sister-in-law had no daughters, and so often summoned the daughters of nobles into court to dote on and mentor as her own. Jiang Yanli, gentle and proper, has long been known to be a favorite of the late empress. She may not be the greatest beauty in her generation, but was second to none when it came to etiquette and grace. "Thanks be to His Majesty and taishi for remembering, and thanks to dianxia's for his care, my health is much improved now. A-Xian was once a member of my court, my peijia. I've always known him to be obedient and conscious of his place, and loyal to wangye and this princely manor. It is only on account of my poor health that he's been summoned to serve at wangye's side. Earlier, I heard Taishi chastising him; surely it must be A-Li's fault for failing to teaching him propriety and thus causing his unintended offence. The fault is with A-Li, and so I humbly submit myself to your discipline, taishi." Lan Qiren sighed. He did not wish to stir up trouble over a servant. If Jiang Yanli was willing to stand up for this Wei Wuxian, then he must have his uses. At the very least, he'll be a confidant for Jiang Yanli against Jin Ziyan. Lan Qiren so hoped that one day Wangji would choose the Jiang girl as his legal spouse and secure his marriage once and for all. If sparing one lowly servant was the price then so be it. "Very well, A-Li. Since the servant is yours, then his training and discipline shall be your responsible. He is unsuited to serve at the prince's side. It is good that you have recovered; Wangji should not be without a caring partner."

And so, Wei Wuxian returned to Jiang Yanli's side as a servant. Lan Wangji had to watch him go and could not interfere. The next several days was depressing for both of them on multiple fronts.

Xue Yang was very unimpressed:

"So you're tell me that you got to spend quality time with Lan Wangji for months and then... didn't get anywhere?" "I was getting there okay? How was I supposed to know his stupid uncle was gonna barge in like some nosey busybody and ruin everything!? I haven't seen Lan Zhan in days..." I miss him. How horrifyingly embarrassing. He probably forgot me already. "Don't tell me you actually miss him??? That you - barf - fell for him? Whatever happened to standards??!" "You watch your mouth, Xue Chengmei! I'm still your shixiong! And I have standards; Lan Zhan is...very good." Xue Yang: ( ˘︹˘ ) whatever.

Lan Wangji, the sulky boy that he is, brooded for days until Lan Xichen finally sought him out for some good ol' brotherly heart to heart.

"I hear Uncle took away your shiny new toy." "Wei Ying is not a toy." "Wei Ying is it?" Lan Xichen wiggled his eyebrows. "Ah, didi, you have to think a little more creatively. So your Wei Ying has gone back to his mistress, but is his mistress not your concubine? Jiang-furen is still unpregnant, I might add. Visit her. Then surely you'll get to see him." Lan Wangji grimaced. The thought has occurred to him, but the idea of bedding anyone not Wei Ying is intolerable. "Yes, Yanli is lovely, but I'd rather not...you know..." His brother was too polite to roll his eyes. "You've done it before, Wangji." "I would not have had to, if xiongzhang simply did his duty." Lan Wangji bit back icily, and instantly regretted it. Lan Xichen's eyes widened, his cheerful-teasing expression stuttering and crumbling in seconds. "Yes...yes that's true." "My sincerest apologies, huangxiong - no - bixia." Lan Wangji rose to his feet and then bowed down deeply. "I forgot my place. I accept any punishment." Lan Xichen sighed and extended a forgiving hand to pardon him. "Not necessary, Wangji. You're right. I haven't done my duty for Gusu." He pulled the younger man to sit beside him again. "You are doing this in my stead, stepping up where I have let the country down. I should not make light of your sacrifice. The matter of a harem is inevitably complicated, which is why I never cared for one. Neither did Father. His harem had always been sparse, and his first empress was not one of his choosing. When she died in childbirth and our unborn sibling along with her, he elevated our mother's rank to Empress and visited no one else henceforth." "Mother was never popular with the ministers for that reason." "Yes. They suspected that she had something to do with...well, in any case I imagine they were quite relieved when she passed." Lan Xichen shook his head. "The harem is not a happy place, Wangji. You were born after Mother was already Empress, you would not have remembered a time when she was consort. But I do. Like you, your concubines did not get to choose their fate. The fault, ultimately, lies with me." "Huangxiong -" "It's true, Wangji. The fault is mine." Lan Xichen patted him on the arm placatingly. "You cannot love them, and clever as they are, I don't think your concubines would expect you to. However, you can ensure their happiness in other ways. Jiang-furen seems the kind to very much want a child of her own. It will make the rest of her life in your harem more bearable."

After some deliberation, Lan Wangji went back to his routine of visiting different concubines regularly, but never more than just sharing a bed-space. With the exception of Jiang Yanli. Lan Wangji could see it in her eyes; she knew who he really wanted, but those words never needed to be said aloud. Jiang Yanli was kind to him, and he was kind to her in return. All things considered, it wasn't awful being with someone who wasn't your preferred, but who knew you for yourself and shared your struggles.

"Dianxia, you must've heard, that before I married into your wangfu, I was betrothed to Jin Zixuan." She mentioned one evening over a game of weiqi. Of all his concubines (which he has 4) and friends (which he has few), Jiang Yanli's skill on the weiqi board was unparalleled. Lan Wangji half wondered how the Marquis and Marchioness of Yunmeng could have buried this talented daughter of theirs under the shadow of their son for so many years. "Yes I am aware." "I loved him." "...." For a minute Lan Wangji did not know how to reply. He stared at the chessboard. Jiang Yanli's black pieces had surrounded his white ones and forced them into a corner. "Why are you telling me this?" "Your court, my clan: we are their creatures." Jiang Yanli 's smile was knowing. "I am not A-Xian; I can see what he cannot." "Which is?" "You've fallen for each other. Completely. He denies it, heaven knows why." Jiang Yanli took a delicate sip of tea. Fleetingly, Lan Wangji imagined that if he could not have Wei Ying, if he were forced to take a legal wife to make empress, that she would make a magnificent one. "Father loved Mother. Loved her as a wife even when she was only a consort -" "And his love spurred the hate of the royal court." "They blamed her for his loving a woman more than his country, as though she should have persuaded him to love her less. I do not want the same to happen to Wei Ying." "Nor I." "Huangshu says I would need a legal spouse one day, someone virtuous and from a strong pureblood family." "Is that what dianxia wants?" "I want it to be Wei Ying, though I know it to be impossible. Barring that, I'd want to keep him safe in the harem, the size of which will only grow after I succeed the throne." "For that, dianxia will need a spouse who will reign over the harem as you rule over the country." Lan Wangji contemplated his choices and the options available to him. After some time, he placed the white piece he fiddled between his fingers back into the bamboo bowl, conceding that he'd lost this round. Jiang Yanli waited patiently for him to come to terms with the offer she already knew he would make. He wondered how long ago she had foreseen this moment, whilst simultaneously realizing that if his uncle had any idea just how intelligent she truly was, he would not be so quick to suggest her as a candidate for princess consort. A weak emperor and a strong empress never boded well for the stability of the realm. This was dangerous waters Lan Wangji was wading into, but he knew beyond doubt that the only way to survive was to keep straight ahead. He had no other path to take, none which maximally balanced what he wanted with what he needed. Jiang Yanli was his only solution, his only ally. "Huangxiong suggested that we have a child together." He finally said, staring her squarely in the eyes. "You and I can agree that the son of Gusu Lan and Yunmeng Jiang would certainly be a strong contender amongst his brothers." "She could be a daughter." "Then I'd cherish her more. A child and a crown - would they make you happy, Yanli?" "If I said yes?" "Then they're yours." Jiang Yanli smiled.

Two months after Wei Wuxian was dismissed from Lan Wangji's service and the prince began visiting Jiang Yanli, good new was delivered to Jiang Fengmian and Yu Ziyuan. The message was this: Hanguang-wang's Jiang-furen was with child yet again.

#cql #the untamed #wangxian #cql ficlet #corie fics #without envy #i said i'd do this for yall #and so i did

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vanserraseris · 3 years

Note

END OF PART XIII - Eris and his mother talk. I love the Lady of Autumn, and I really hope we see a lot more of her in the next books. Just a warning that there are mentions of character death. Thank you to everyone who reads.

ash stop making me cry

Prince of Ashes. Part XIII.

masterlist.

“Pity you had not been with them.”

His father’s words from earlier that morning rang clear in Eris’s ears as he stood outside the door to his mother’s chambers. What if his mother thought the same? Eris did not want to see the Lady of Autumn, he breathed in deeply through his nose as he stood in the hall outside her room.

He could not bear to face her, not after he’d seen her fall to her knees, her hands fisted in her hair, the anguished cry that had left her lips nothing short of horrible. Eris found himself wishing he could hide under his covers like he’d done as a youngling and wait for this storm to pass, all the others had.

Since Maddox had returned, Cato’s and Owain’s bodies with him, the entire Autumn Court had been thrown into chaos. The territory bordering Winter was left without a leader, the Royal Guard was left without a captain, the people were all left shocked. - Maddox had been quick to put the blame on Eris — for not being there, for spoiling Lucien, for fighting to keep the runt alive the day he’d been born. Eris didn’t blame Maddox for being angry, he’d been angry as well.

Eris had broken the arm of a rich lord for expressing his “sincerest apologies,” Eris was positively certain that he had never been sincere about anything in his entirely too long and worthless life. Eris had also attacked his father’s favourite adviser like some wild beast for suggesting he’d planned the whole thing, that he’d wanted Cato and Owain dead. Eris had nearly strangled him, would have killed him, if Priam and Rufus hadn’t been there to intervene.

Eris felt like everything was falling apart.

With one last exhale, Eris knocked softly on his mother’s door. Rufus had begged him to speak to her, tears in his eyes. She’d gone to the courtyard to see the funerary pyres earlier that day and hadn’t spoken to anyone since. His mother did not answer. Eris had not been expecting her to. He pushed the door open slowly, trying to steady his shaking hand.

His mother was sitting on the edge of her large bed, staring at the wall, her russett eyes emptier than he’d ever seen them before. Eris had seen corpses that looked more alive.

“Mother?” Eris noticed that there were no flames in the fireplace. The constant crackling and snapping sounds of a roaring fire usually set his mind at ease, so with half a thought, Eris lit some of the small candles in the room, the fireplace coming alive with the slight lift of his fingers.

Her voice was void of any emotion as she responded. “I did not ask for you.”

Eris flinched as he walked towards her, “I know.” He wasn’t sure how he was supposed to muster his softer side, he’d been angry and rude all day. Eris was going to be like Rufus, he was going to be kind and loving, he could be kind and loving if he tried. He decided to get on his knees by the edge of his mother’s bed, thinking it would be better if he wasn’t looking down at her as he spoke.

“I did not want children,” his mother whispered, her eyes still staring at the wall. “Not with him.”

“I know.” It was no secret that his mother was sold into marriage with Beron against her will. Sometimes Eris forgot how young she had been when she’d married the High Lord of the Autumn Court, how young she’d been when she’d had her first child.

“I would pray to the Mother, beg her not to bring a child into this home, every night. It scared me, thinking about what he might do to my children. I had thought the Mother was deaf to my prayers when I learned that I was pregnant with you.” The Lady of Autumn turned to face her eldest son, an unreadable emotion in her eyes, “But you were born, and you were small, and precious and I loved you more than anything, loved each of your brothers the same.”

She looked at Eris as tears filled her eyes, “I tried so hard, Eris. You know that I tried?”

His mother had sounded so uncertain, so unsure of herself. Eris nodded, “We all know that you did your best.” Eris didn’t know if he could actually speak for the rest of his brothers, but even if none of them cared about anything else, Eris knew they cared about their mother.

She took a shaky breath, “I fear that the Mother remembers those prayers, Eris, that she is punishing me for them, and I will be doomed to watch all my sons die.” Eris did not respond, not knowing what to say. On his knees in front of her, Eris felt like he was about to beg for her forgiveness. Perhaps he should. Eris stiffened when his mother lifted her hand. It hovered between them for a moment before she put her hand back to her lap, the black skirts of her dress rustling. “You always did that,” she mumbled. “The only child I'd ever seen flinch away from his mother’s touch.”

He would have rather she hit him. “I’m sorry.” The words coming from his mouth sounded hollow, unused, but he meant them.

She shook her head, red curls bouncing, “It’s hardly your fault.” She turned both her hands, palms up, a silent offering. Eris knew his mother wouldn’t hold it against him if he didn’t reach out to take them. “Have you been to the courtyard?”

Eris placed one of his hands into hers, “No.” Eris didn’t know if he wanted to go, even if all the others had gone.

She traced his knuckles with her thumb, “You should, they look at peace.” She tightened her hold on his hand, her voice dropping to a whisper again. “I didn’t know it would hurt this much, Eris, like someone’s ripped out my heart.” Tears streamed down her face, and she actually looked like she might have been in physical pain.

She shook her head, “You know, Cato sounded a bit like Rufus when he laughed.” Eris didn't know that, didn’t know what Cato sounded like when he’d laughed, didn’t think he’d heard him before. Eris was finding it hard to breathe. His mother’s grip on his hand tightened even more, “My little boys, Eris, I’ve failed them.” Eris was going to burn the house to the ground. He didn’t think their mother had failed them, he didn’t think if he said it to her it’d make anything better.

“Tell me what to do,” Eris almost begged, “Tell me what I can do to help.”

She took another shaky breath, voice wavering as she said, “I don’t want him to light the pyres, Eris.”

“I'll do it,” he could convince his father to let him do it.

She nodded once, letting go of his hand, “Thank you.”

Eris took that as the dismissal it was, getting back to his feet.

“Eris?” She reached out for the black sleeve of his embroidered jacket, holding it tightly.

He froze, waiting a moment before he asked, “Mother?”

“I love you very much.”

Eris thought he could feel something in him crack, thought he felt something inside him break. Eris didn’t remember the last time someone had told him that and he’d believed it. Eris wasn’t even sure if he believed it now. He leaned down, kissing her cheek as he mumbled, “Love you.”

She let go of his sleeve, nodding once. Eris glanced back to his mother one final time before he left the room. She’d gone back to staring at the wall, unmoving. Eris had never noticed how small she was, how the large skirts of her dress seemed to swallow her whole.

As soon as he’d shut the door behind him, Eris winnowed to the courtyard. It was cool out, the breeze slow and lazy.

In Autumn, funerals started right as the last rays of the sun were disappearing over the horizon, right at the start of the day’s death. The pyres would burn all night — until there was nothing left but ash. He’d have to speak to his father about lighting them, wanting to grant his mother’s wish.

He stood between the two pyres now. Someone had washed away the blood from their faces, had brushed their hair, had placed golden crowns on their heads. His mother was right, they did look at peace. If Eris didn’t know any better, he’d have thought his brothers were sleeping.

Eris looked closely at Cato. Lucien’s kill, a cruel sort of irony that Lucien had thrown one of Cato’s own knives at him. Eris remembered when Cato had been born. His father had put a heavy hand on his shoulder, leaned in close and had told him in a low voice that he was expendable. Eris had been sent to a war camp the next day. It was no surprise that they had resented each other, that they grew more bitter year by year. But Cato had warned him about Beron, and Eris was grateful.

Eris turned to face Owain. He’d been a hero in Autumn, born before the War and grown up to fight in it. Everywhere, people told tales of his victories in battle. It was almost impossible for Eris to believe what Maddox had told them all. Owain dropping his sword as Tamlin lunged at him didn’t seem like a mistake he would have made. Maddox had also made sure to tell Eris that Owain wouldn’t have killed Lucien, wouldn’t have let Cato do it either. For whatever reason, Eris believed it.

Eris awkwardly stood there, well aware that he couldn’t really mourn them, he barely knew them. Eris was certain about one thing — he should have been there, Eris would have been able to stop this from happening.

Eris felt ancient.

With a long sigh, he sat on the ground between his dead brothers. They’d been his greatest rivals, his strongest opponents. There was no other way in the Autumn Court. Eris made a promise to himself that when he became High Lord, he’d change it.

Cauldron, Eris thought, they were all so fucked up. He wondered when Beron had stopped pulling their strings, when the sharp words and harsh actions were no longer dictated by their father, when cruelty had become a part of them. He wondered when they had stopped seeing each other as brothers and started seeing each other as obstacles.

When Eris had been very young, he’d liked sneaking out of the Forest House. He couldn’t do anything, couldn’t really go anywhere, but he sometimes found himself lying on the ground, staring up at the sky. He did the same thing now. Sprawled on his back, Eris stared up at the blue sky, noticing that there wasn’t a single cloud in sight. If anyone walked by and saw him on the cold, hard ground between his brothers’ funeral pyres, surely they would think he’d gone mad, but Eris didn’t care.

Eris figured this would be his last chance to say something to his brothers, but he was old, and he’d seen many die, and he felt as though the dead couldn’t hear him anyway. It occurred to Eris that he could apologize for never being there when they’d needed him, but Eris didn’t think apologies meant much if you weren’t forgiven. Eris took a deep breath, his chest aching, he couldn’t very well say nothing — it didn’t seem right.

His voice wavered as he said, “Cauldron save you,” words he remembered his mother speaking at the pyres of her dead sisters. “Mother hold you. Pass through the gates, and smell that immortal land of milk and honey. Fear no evil. Feel no pain.” They’d felt enough while they’d been alive, Eris thought, Eris understood. He took a shaky breath as he whispered the last words of the short prayer, the wind carrying them. “Go, and enter eternity.”

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