#sinister plot

[weirdemmaline]

CAN I HAVE YOUR ATTENTION PLEASE

GUYS LISTEN UP (er, read up, please!)

I really want to give you a warning because I found out this morning about some plans that 'chan has against us. 

If you see any users with the blog title "stinky cheese," DO NOT CLICK THEIR BLOG! I don't care how harmless their preview looks, clicking on their blog will lead you to a page where a dangerous, insidious computer virus will auto-download onto your machine. It's dangerous for both users of PCs and Macs, so NOBODY should be scrolling past this. DO NOT TAKE ANY CHANCES WITH THIS. 

First, the virus will make your machine overheat. While you're struggling to cool your computer, it'll translate all of your documents into Swahili. This virus is balls, you guys. It'll infect your router and if you've got a smart TV or a Tivo or any sort of internet hook up (game systems, etc.) it'll force your tv to record Gigli. It'll send you hundreds of notices from your vet to neuter your pets and that's not all. All that dry, hot air coming out of your computer (assuming it hasn't auto-shutdown from being overheated) will cause your house to dry out and give your laundry static cling.

If your computer survives, the screen will freeze. Any DVDs you play on any internet-enabled device in your home will have all the easter eggs erased off of them. It'll erase your hard drive, and if you try to run from a backup, it'll erase that too. And unfortunately, once the virus has spread to this point, it can seep out and erase the hard drive of everyone related to you.

PLEASE REBLOG! SPREAD THIS LIKE WILDFIRE

Because of how dry your house will now be, your paint will begin peeling off your walls. Your keyboard will feel... sticky... and you won't be sure why. If you have a poodle, you should check it for hickeys. Oh and your money? If you've ever checked your account information on the internet, the virus will invest all of your money in stock in EuroDisney.

It'll tie up your home phone line making prank long distance calls. Every digital clock in your house will be set back an hour and soon you'll want to shower- but it'll appear that someone's already in your shower. Seriously, if you come across ANY blog with the title "Stinky Cheese" JUST NAVIGATE AWAY. RIGHT NOW. IF SOMEONE SENDS YOU AN ASK AND YOU HOVER AND FIND THEIR BLOG TITLE IS 'STINKY CHEESE' TRASH THAT ASK IMMEDIATELY. DO NOT RISK INFECTION THROUGH THE ASK SYSTEM.

You'll develop a permanent wedgie. No matter how many times you change your pants (or your underpants) you will always have a wedgie. Even while nude. Thank the virus for that! If the virus is allowed to continue to spread, it will change your legal name to "Reggie" and it will even mess up the PH balance in your pool (if you have one).

It'll make your iPod only play Jethro Tull, and your computer will turn on at random, so will your cell phone, to tell you knock knock jokes while you try to sleep. You may even find yourself physically attracted to sheep. It'll steal your identity and all your credit card information, and before too long you'll be the proud (if confused) owner of a warehouse filled with pink leotards.

The final thing it'll do is use so much energy across all your internet-enabled devices and it'll generate so much heat that it'll cause a major rift in time and space. There will also be a bunch of Twinkie wrappers left all over the place.

Do you want to make sure you don't get the virus?

Follow these steps:

Turn off your computer (be SURE it powers down)

Drop it in a 43 ft hole in the ground

Bury it completely (rocks and boulders should be fine) 

Burn all the clothes you may have worn anytime you were online

Stay safe, tumblr.

[callmewiccan]

factfinding ~ sinister plot | synthezoidred

Billy sat at one of the data terminals deep in the catacombs of Stark Tower, his face inches from the computer screen, scrolling through data. He didn't even have the clearance to get to most of what he needed--but he was a guy who liked to know his enemy, and even though most of it was firewalled and password-protected and God only know what, he was able to get the general gist of it.

He could either figure out a way to explain to every active Avenger there ever was what Sinister was planning, and attempt a full assault.

Or he could give the villain what he wanted.

He sat back, groaning. Either way he was well and truly screwed.

[callmewiccan]

Billy paced his room, a hand in his hair gripping the black crop so tightly that strands started coming free in his palm. "WhatdoIdowhatdoIdo...?"

There was a crazed look in his eye, worry and terror and a thousand plans considered and discarded. He was well and truly screwed.

Especially when Sinister found out he wasn't planning on doing anything.