#sitting at my stupid desk. im doing this to be able to go on a trip back home. if i do this then i can get that. Hang in there fucker

[mummer]

guys i hate to admit this but i just realized that i have to get up and go to work tomorrow and keep doing that every day after that forever.

[yourgentlegirlfriend]

IM UNSHADOWBANNWD AH. I’ve been so excited to post this story it’s been in the works and it’s the THREE HUNDRED follower special first of all i do not deserve you guys at all thank you for all the support you show me i hope you enjoy this as much as i did hehe MUAH

DISCLAIMER: This is an 18+ blog! If you are underaged or don’t have an age indicator in your bio, please don’t interact!

afab reader x Pornstar! ID Leon

Warnings: Smut- just pure porn with a plot. PORNSTAR LUIS TOO HEHE.Slight (very) slight mentions of being obsessed/ watching reader, leon eats pussy (ofc he does) and fucks reader stupid.

Word count: 3,169

———-

knock knock

“What?”

Why did he sound so annoyed? Your fist stalled against the door as you paused your knocking.

“Um- Greg told me to introduce myself. Sorry if you’re busy.”

Just try and sound sweet, don’t be a pushover. You had barely just stepped onto the set, still in the clothes you wore to your psychology class. The room ran silent, your eyes reading over his name on his door continuously before it swung up, your hair moving from the gust of wind.

His arms were so toned, his hand gripping the handle of the door knob as he leaned against the door frame. Incredibly toned, his shirt off and his hair laying against his face so perfectly. His steely eyes scanned you up and down, a chuckle rumbling through his chest as he saw you holding your Psych 200 book.

“Leon.”

He mumbled as he watched you scan over his arms. He was cocky; you could tell. Before you could even introduce yourself, the door slammed in your face, your hands gripping your bag as you sighed to yourself, shaking your head in disbelief.

———

“She shot with Sera like a month ago. The video is still up on the front page too.”

Leon’s makeup artist spoke as she rubbed the beauty blender against his forehead. Leon stared at himself in the mirror; he felt terrible for slamming the door in your face. He really did. He has been in the industry for too long, and he has never had anyone come and formally introduce themselves before filming, so seeing you stand there not being able to say a complete sentence to his face just irritated him. He was also just surprised you didn’t know him; he owned this whole set, his manager is the one who makes his booking, or he definitely wouldn’t have picked you of all people.

———

After shooting with Luis, the two of you became very close friends; when you got to your small studio room, you threw your bag and book down, dialing his number on your phone as you pulled your laptop out, sitting on the desk.

“Hello?”

Luis' voice rang through your ear as you sighed in frustration, instantly communicating that something was wrong.

“He slammed a door in my face when I tried to say hi to him, Luis.. why does he have such a big ego? Sure is heavy for a man I've never even seen before.”

Your fingers typed his name into the search bar, clicking on the first link to come up as you listened to Luis ramble about how this is just how it’s going to be and how lucky you were to get him as your first shoot, your mouth ran dry seeing the cover photo of one of Leon’s hundreds of videos, his cock barely pushing into some girl, his hair covering his face so perfectly and his lips parted so slightly.

“Mama, what did I tell you? Do not google.”

Luis scolded as he listened to you close the laptop.

“I don’t know, Luis, maybe I should just leave- I have to go; makeup’s here.”

Hanging up on him because of the slight knock on the door. It must have been noticeable that you were in your head, the pretty makeup artist wiping at your cheeks with a light bronzer to grab your attention.

“You don’t need much makeup, and you’re naturally very beautiful.”

She smiles softly as she reaches for the mascara. You smile back at her as she tilts your head around.

“That’s very sweet of you, thank you.”

You laugh as she turns your chair around, smiling as she pushes your hair from your face.

“Gorgeous, they want you in this. Whatever you wear under is completely up to you.”

The beautiful woman rambled as she pulled the light blue sundress from the bag, handing it to you. No matter what they said to you, you couldn’t get out of your own head.

————

The wall had a weird pattern. It wasn’t like standard white paint but was super grainy, you sat further back, watching as the director checked all of his cameras, fixing the lights, and reading over signed paperwork. They never handed you a script, though, which left you lost. Luis’ crew had a script. It was easy to remember, but maybe only Leon had one. Right when you think about him, he comes walking in from the main door, a smug smile on his face as he grabs hands to shake. If he weren’t in the industry he would make a wonderful bodyguard with broad shoulders, strong arms, and confidence. He wore a black long-sleeve shirt accompanied by a pair of dark denim jeans. It sucked; he was such an asshole, he was handsome. It suddenly made you feel so self-conscious, remembering the cover photo you had seen on your laptop. You specifically specialized in actual content, genuine emotions, and honest reactions, and the people love it. You started on your own, only fans, to be specific, and it makes you laugh out of embarrassment when it’s brought up. Your eyes follow Leon as he grabs a cup of water, leaning on the table as he talks to the makeup artist, who, for some reason, points over to you. Your eyes drop to your lap, your legs crossed as you play with the soft material of the dress. Your heart began to race as you saw his shoes directly in front of you. His presence was so heavy. Your gaze shifted up to him, his hand touching the arm of your chair.

“Sorry for slamming the door on you, I’ve had a long week, and I forgot I was shooting today.”

Hearing him talk in a complete sentence now was weird, his voice rough yet deep. You nodded your head as you shrugged.

“I can’t blame you; I would slam the door on me too.”

You smile, but it quickly drops once you notice what he said; how could he forget he has a shot? He just called you easily forgettable. Leon’s eyes trailed down to your thighs, smiling to himself as your leg bounced up and down. The two of you stood in your silence before Greg walked over towards you two, grabbing your shoulders.

“Leon, Y/N, Y/N, Leon. I know this piece of work doesn’t introduce himself for shit.”

He laughed, pointing towards the bed in the middle of the room; Leon’s eyes squinted at the minor insult before both of your eyes shifted to the bed. He had explained some shitty plan that had the two of you bored. He sighed before he looked at Leon, touching his arm.

“Just do whatever you want. Why do you pay me?”

His foot turned to walk away from you two as Leon still stared at the bed in the middle of the room. He turned back to you, putting his hand out, your eyebrow-raising in confusion up at him.

“Leon Kennedy.”

Your hand pulled from your lap, shaking at his, both of your grip on each other strong as you nodded your head.

“Just call me Y/N.”

You spoke sheepishly before he helped you up from the chair. Was he going to listen to what the director said? This was an extensive movie set, the bedroom, and then the small room apart from the bedroom that seemed to resemble a hallway.

“I know we stepped off on the wrong foot, but can you trust me? Just for the next hour?”

Leon leaned down to your ear as the two of you walked towards the hallway set. You nodded your head as the lighting changed to a darker yellow.

Leon’s head turned towards the camera as he put his hand up

“No cuts.”

He yelled out as he turned back to you.

—————-

Felt awful slamming the door on her pretty face.

Leon’s grip on the door handle grew tighter by the second as you rambled on about trying to introduce yourself. The room shook as he slammed the door, a strained groan leaving his lips as he looked down at his sweatpants. You had knocked at a horrible time, Leon’s laptop on display with your video with Luis flashing on his screen. He was obsessed with you. Obsessed with how your lips parted before you moaned or how easily sensitive you were. You didn’t need to introduce yourself. He already knew. So when he called his agent asking him to call your agent to see if you were booking, he was more than excited when they said you were open. He pumped himself for almost an hour, soft moans leaving his lips as his eyes squeezed shut, trying to think about how it would feel to have you squeezing around his cock.

———

“Action!”

Greg screamed, your eyelids heavy as you looked up at Leon. It was crazy how fast you could switch moods like that. Leon's hands were immediately all over you, pressing you into the wall by your waist as he hungrily peppered kisses against your jaw. And suddenly everything felt so much hotter? His hands dragged down your skin, and his lips burned into the soft skin of your neck, a whine leaving your lips as one of Leon’s hungry hands brought your leg to his waist.

“There you go, honey, relax for me..”

He mumbled into your skin as his hands lifted you into his arms. You were surprised at his strength as he held you with one hand, his other pushing the door open. He made you feel so small, throwing you down onto the plush mattress, your chest rising and falling as he softly nipped at your collarbones. You weren’t this nervous with Luis, your hands shaking as you pushed some hair from Leon’s face as he kissed the small space between your chest, his hands carefully rubbing up your thighs, his fingers resting against your stomach as he pushed himself down the bed. He needed more. The way you shook under him only encouraged him, his head nuzzling so perfectly between your thighs, smirking up at you as your eyes fluttered away from you, avoiding his stare. The pressure in his pants grew more intense, listening to the hiss pull through your teeth as he held onto the fabric of the sundress, licking over your pretty black panties.

“Damn..”

He grumbled as he lifted your hips, pulling the panties off you, bundling them up in his hand, and pushing them into his pocket as he moved the dress's material again. Scooting in closer to you, laying your knees over his shoulders as he looked up at you through heavy eyelids, his tongue laying a long strip over your folds. You couldn’t help but squirm in his grasp, his hands flying to your waist as you let out that shaky whine again that drove him fucking crazy. You tasted so unbelievably good on his tongue, his eyes rolling back as he hungrily lapped at your folds, pulling you closer like somebody was trying to take you from him. You were so dazed, your back arching as the cameraman squatted beside you and Leon, trying to get the perfect angle. You didn’t even care about his presence, caught up in crying out Leon's name as he repeatedly lapped at your clit, a loud whimper leaving your lips as you sat up, tugging at his hair. Leon could stay between your legs all day, but he needed more. He pulled away from your still dripping core, his face glistening with your slick as he took advantage of you sitting up, pulling the dress over your head. He couldn’t help but groan, finally seeing you bare beneath him, his hands pushing down against your chest, your back laying flat against the mattress yet again as you stared up at him, watching with sparkling eyes as he pulled his shirt over his head. He was sculpted so beautifully.. and it hit you, this is why he’s so popular, he’s a walking god.

“Been waiting on this part all fucking day..”

Leon’s lips parted as he yanked his jeans down, along with his boxers. He let out a sigh of relief as his cock pressed against his upper stomach, his hand reaching down to pump himself as he kicked his jeans off. And suddenly you felt like that girl on the cover of the video you saw, Leon’s hair sprawling perfectly against his face as he leans his body down, tearing your thighs open as his thumb lazily rubs small circles against your clit, smirking as you jolt forward. He continued to pump himself as he reached over, grabbing at the baby pink silk pillow at the edge of the bed before he shoved it under your hips. What a gentleman… you thought to yourself before your thighs were pressing together at the feeling of his cock pressing into you. He was so thick, your walls having a hard time adjusting to even just the tip of him. Leon’s lips pressed together as he let out a quiet “fuck..” His hands holding your legs open as he put more pressure on your clit, your core growing soaked again assisting him in sliding so perfectly into you. If he weren’t getting paid for this, he would’ve just came then and there, watching your pretty face scrunch up in painful pleasure, your legs kicking in his grasp slightly, and your painfully tight walls squeezing him.

“Fuck.. relax, baby, let me in.”

Leon whispered to you as you nodded your head, allowing your hips to rest against the pillow as he cooed down at you, leaning down against your much smaller form and forcing your legs over his broad shoulder. His thumb is still rubbing at your clit to ease the pain of him stretching you out. Leon’s jaw tightens as he pulls his hips back, letting out a shaky breath as he slams back into you, smiling as the small “Mmph!-“ Left your throat involuntarily. So fucking precious. Your soft thighs brushed against his chest as he fucked into you, his body weight lifting off you as he grabbed your ankles, staring down at where he pushed into you. Even the director looked surprised as Leon let out a long moan. It rumbled through his chest as he continued to fuck into you, your hands grabbing at the bed sheets. Leon mumbled a few words to himself before he grabbed at your body, flipping you on to your side as he threw the pillow to to other side of the room. He crawled behind you, lifting your leg before he pushed into you again, causing you to let out a loud whine, your head leaning back into his shoulder as his thrusts somehow became deeper- more meaningful. Leon reached over, pushing some hair from your face as he looked down at you.

“Come on, sweetheart, open your eyes for me.”

His lips touch the shell of your ear as he whispers to you. You were in bliss; he rubbed against your walls so perfectly it felt like your skin was on fire. Your eyes fluttered open, looking at the camera hazily. Leon shook his head, grabbing your jaw and turning your head towards him.

“Don’t look at them.. look at me… it’s just you and me right now, baby, just you and me.”

He groaned down to you as a loud cry of pleasure left your lips in response, your orgasm crashing through you. His hands wrapped around your waist, pulling you in closer to him as his hips snapped into you faster.

“That's a good fucking girl- mm.. fuck keep squeezing around me like that, honey..”

Leon felt his hips stuttering as he looked down at you, fucked out in his arms. A shaky moan left his lips as his hips stopped, his cum spurting into you, causing loud cries to leave your lips. Leon laid out of breath before he pulled out of you, smirking as he tilted his head at the cameraman to bring him in closer as he spread your lips, his fingers spreading your folds as his cum dripped out of you, the biggest smirk on his face.

“Cut!”

Was all you heard as the bed dipped beside you, your body still trying to recover as you sat up, your hair messy and your mascara running down the side of your face as Leon laughed, looking over at you.

“You okay, sugar?”

He asked sweetly as he grabbed a water, opening it before handing it to you, pushing some hair from your face as you took a small sip.

“Yeah.. just was a lot.”

You nod as he watches you; he clears his throat, handing you the sundress from the ground as he stands, pulling his pants up.

“Listen. I know you don’t know me, but, are you busy tonight? Let me take you out for dinner.”

He wasn’t asking; it was more of him letting you know he was. Your arms go through the holes before you look at him, nodding your head.

———-

You were the current talk of the industry.

Everyone was so curious how you broke Leon, making him utterly different from any video he’s ever shot.

Your face scrunches as you look at yours and Leon’s page on the front cover of the site, that smirk on his face as he spreads apart your folds. Your knee is pressed to your chest as you scroll through the comments, flinching slightly as you feel pressure at the top of your head.

“Morning.”

Leon grumbles as he sips his coffee after kissing the top of your head. His eyes follow yours, seeing the “uploaded two months ago” in the corner as he whistled

“Gonna win awards for that one.”

He winks at you, your arm swinging at him before you shut the laptop on the table.

[axeoverblade]

Hello 👋🏻 your writting is so amazing! if its not too much to ask, would i be able to request a earth 42 miles thats slightly aggressive and a bit of a delusional yandere with the phrases 15 & 16. Totally fine if not! 👍🏻

Stuck

Earth 42! Miles x fem! reader

Synopsis! As much as you loved Miles, you couldn’t be stuck in the house any longer.

MASTERLIST

Genre: Angst(?), toxic! Miles, yandere activities.

Warnings: mentions of manipulation and lowkey abusive behavior, nothing crazy. Foul language

Word count: .9k

Authors comment: Toxic is cute on paper not irl. Blurb.

Do not copy! All rights reserved to ©axeoverblade

The room was silent. The tension felt thicker than the blood coming from your lip you bit too hard in attempt to compose yourself.

“I’m not playing with you ma. You need’a relax on allat’”, Miles spat, not sparing you a glance as he sat in his desk chair lacing up the Jordan’s he sported for his prowler “job”. You rolled your eyes, upset with how he was responding to you. He had been talking to you like this a lot lately, dismissing you without a second thought. And frankly, you were tired of it. “You can’t keep me here” you seethed, standing up from where you sat his bed. He furrowed eyebrows finishing the double not of his lace, standing up to match your energy. “Oh for real? How much you wanna’ bet?” He cocked his head at you, tone stern.

All you wanted was one night out. One single night.

The number of occasions your friends had invited you out only for you to say “Oh I can’t tonight” knowing good and well you had nothing planned had become exhausting. But Miles thought it was safer for you in the room than outside.

“Siéntate mami, Im not playin witchu’ today.” He said swiping his hand over the lower portion of his face stressed, letting out a deep exhale. His eyes unwavering in his gaze.

You don’t know how it got to this.

It used to be different, you used to enjoy your time with Miles. It wasn’t that you didn’t love Miles anymore, you don’t think you were ever capable of stopping loving Miles. But the longer you were in a relationship with the boy you had grown so fond of, the more overbearing he became.

The amount of friends who would tell you how dangerous Miles was, who you ignored or just randomly stopped hearing from had become too many. You should’ve listened. You really should’ve.

You should’ve seen the signs. The signs to leave as soon as possible, to run without looking back. But being the stupid love struck teen you were you saw the things he did as endearing, only fueling your attraction to him.

It started with him becoming over protective, asking for the logins to your social media and knowing your phone password, having his face ID linked to your phone.

Then your male friends became a problem. He made you drop them, saying it was “them or him since you want em’ so damn bad.”.

He stopped letting you wear certain things, saying too many guys would see and you were for his eyes only.

Then he stopped letting you go to functions alone, convincing you Brooklyn was “too dangerous for you to be out by yourself”. And after being on duty as the prowler seeing you go to the store by yourself for a quick snack, where he ended up having to kill a guy who tried to mug you, he stopped letting you go out at all together.

Anywhere.

“Miles you can’t keep doing this” your voice was strong, trying your best to sound as confident as possible under his intense gaze. “Stop doing what? Keeping you safe? You're crazy if you think that’s happening.” He stepped closer to you. “So just sit down-” “I’m not sitting down Miles. So stop suggestin’ it.” You raised your voice standing your ground. Miles chuckled and cocked his head back, but you both knew there was nothing funny about what was going on. “It wasn’t a suggestion. Sit yo’ ass down before I make you.” You looked at him like he grew three heads,“Who are you my father? What you gon’ do?” You mocked, cocking your head to the side.

Before you had time to think, his hands grabbed at the small of your waist and forcefully sat you on the bed. “Ion know why you think I’m joking right now.” He scoffed, hands still on your waist. “You’re gettin’ on my last nerve right now and I gotta go and handle business”. You scoffed, “You mean the prowler business with your uncle? The one where you go out and slaughter people in your free time?” You remarked snidely, throwing his hands off your waist. Though much of stretch, you figured it would get under his skin. “ don’t do that. You know if we aren’t helping the community no one will.” He paused angrily. “ You know I do this for you Y/n!” He yelled as he stood up fully looking down at you. “For you and mi mama. Eres mi corazón, you keep me alive. I make sure the streets are safe so nothing bad happens for you! I protect you the both of you every damn day, don’t act like you don’t see that.” He pointed his finger accusingly at you, his voice becoming louder the more he talked.

You looked away from him and shook your head, “I never asked you to do that. Don’t blame me for this” your voice ran quiet, barely audible. “I’m not-” he paused and sighed, putting his finger under your chin firmly, guiding you head to look at him. “I ain’ blaming this on you ángel, I’m trying to explain to you since you wanna’ act dumb.” His face was scrunched together, clearly fed up with the argument at hand. “Miles, you think it’s healthy to stay inside for three weeks straight? What am I supposed to do huh?” You scoffed, throwing your arms around. “It’s better than being dead.” He replied letting go of your chin harshly, walking over to the window not even trying to understand from your perspective.

He opened the window, the cool breeze from the night washing in over the room. He looked at you and sighed, “Listen. I know you fed up ma, but you need to understand something.” He paused, climbing out the window. He stuck his head back in and looked at your sitting figure on his bed before closing the window.

“You ain’ goin anywhere.”

©axeoverblade

[pupyuj]

im back again

sorry for spam

been thinking about sending nudes to g!p yena while she has to work overtime, not able to come home

sending increasingly racey photos to her before sending a long video of you fingering your cunt moaning her name,

taunting/begging her to come home and take care of you with her thick cock

yena who almost whines in public at the sight of your sopping wet cunt, girly ends up cumming under her desk, jerking off to the video

☕️

☕️ anonnnnn pls never apologize for the spamming trust me i love it you keep my brain fresh w your ideas and you challenge me to venture out of the usual things i do so i want to thank you a lot actually ehe <33 anyways THIS ASK?? i exploded.

OKOK i see the vision but all that + phone sex??? LISTEN. WALK WITH MEEEE—

pushing yena to the point of being so needy that she hits you up just as you planned 🤭 answering her call and the first thing you hear is her breathing heavily and... the faint sounds of her coating her throbbing, hard dick with precum as she mindlessly pumped it in and out of her hand... yena's very whiny while she does it too, finding it so hard to truly feel good since you're not around to help her :( mf yaps tho 😭 talking about how you're being so mean and how it's not fair that she can't come home to you asap bcs of all the stupid work she has to get done <//3

and oh it would just drive her so insane when you start touching yourself too! hearing your moans and whimpers and begging while you ride your pillow, telling yena how much you wished you were riding her instead 🫣 she'd actually start thrusting into her hand, picturing you above her, your tight pussy wrapped around her cock and your tits all over her face... the office might be empty but yena would still have the decency to bite her lip to try and silence her sounds that were getting louder and louder the longer she hears you satisfying yourself without her 😣

and let's say you turn your camera on and let your phone sit in a way where yena can see you ride your pillow?? she watches as you move your hips the same way you would while riding her... moaning obnoxiously against the sheets as you played with your own nipples 😵‍💫 then she would see how you're actually feeling so good bcs she was watching you, and you were getting a kick out of what you're doing to her just by doing this.. nasty whore 🫣

"y-you owe me so much, (y/n)-ah..." yena would say,, she'd already have so many ideas about how she'd get revenge and have you begging her for release, or a break 🤭 and she hits a mind-blanking orgasm of her own soon after you reach yours... making a mess of her hand and her clothes... hehe her blushing as she cleans herself up bcs she's still watching you lay on top of the pillow all exhausted and spent but god you were so fine—

you'd tell her to go home quickly and abruptly end the call after sending her a cute lil kiss and suddenly yena would be the most diligent worker in that damn company! 😭 finishing her work in record time and getting the fuck out of that office,, and sure she goes over the speed limit a few times but hey it did get her home to you faster... thus giving you and her all the time in the world to fuck like animals after a long, rough day of barely seeing each other <33

[mochinek0]

Unexpected Angel (2/4)

First

Marinette chugged the rest of her coffee, the moment she spotted Carrie by her desk. She threw the cup away and sighed.

Carrie smiled, "There you are. Here I was thinking that you left early. You're late coming back for lunch."

"Actually, I'm five minutes early." Marinette pointed out.

Carrie glared at her, "Copy all these papers and make sure there are at least twenty-five pages each. You should be able to do that in three hours, right?" and walked away.

Marinette looked at the stack of papers. There were at least fifty pages. Sure, she could do that and get it done in three hours, but she also had to finish a design by the time she clocked out of work today. Her boss was counting on her. They needed to start on the samples next week, if it was approved. Mairnette sat down at her desk and looked at the designs. The color green caught her eye. It reminded her of the stranger from the café.

'That place is survival of the fittest.'

Marinette looked between her design and the stack of paper. She smiled and turned towards the deisgn.

'Sorry, Carrie.'

Carrie smiled as she approached the new girl's desk. She expected to find her buried and scrambling to get the papers in order. Instead, she found her sitting at her desk and humming.

"Where are my papers?" she cried, "Did you leave them at the machine again?"

"They are right here." Marinette smiled, "Right where you left them."

"I told you to do them!" Carrie screamed, "There's a meeting in fifteen minutes."

"Then, you should get to it." Mari replied, "I can't imagine not having the correct information for a meeting. That sounds really important."

"You little bitch!" Carrie shouted, slapping Marinette.

Marinette just smiled at the vindictive lady, "Sorry, but I have my own job to do. I don't have time to do your job. What have you been doing for the last three hours? So much wasted time. I mean, is your job that hard that your can't copy papers? You've been at this for five years. No offense, but I don't want to be you in five years. Better get started, you have an important meeting in.....ten minutes."

Carrie snarled, grabbed the papers, and hurried away.

To say that Carrie was upset was an understatement. Her boss had yelled at her when the meeting was over. She had managed to print the first eight pages, but she was left entering and exiting the meeting to grab the other hot off the press. To top it off, she watched her boss praise Marinette.

"I knew I could count on you, Marinette." their boss spoke, "You had some difficulty this past month, but you have improved."

Marinette simply smiled, "Thank you for your kind words. I just....had to really focus on my work and not worry about other things."

Carried stomped out of Wayne Enterprise after that. All weekend she planned. She was going to leave her work with Mairnette and leave work as if she was sick, saying Marinette volunteered to do her work. If that didn't work, it wouldn't be her fault if her coffee accidentally spilled all over Marinette's desk. If the new girl was a better employee, her desk would be clean. Maybe it would help her with her time management skills. She was going to make Marinette miserable next week, as payback for making her look stupid in front of her boss.

TAG LIST: @animeweebgirl @a-star-with-a-human-name @meme991001 @vixen-uchiha @abrx2002 @alysrose-starchild @fandom-trapped-03 @dood-space @moonlightstar64 @saltymiraculer @marveldcedits20 @09shell-sea09 @icerosecrystal @animegirlweeb @insane-fangirl-of-everything @blueblossombliss @nickristus-dreamer @megawhitleycalderonpaganus @missmadwoman @meira-3919 @wh0douthink @princessdaisysolosyourfaves @blep-23 @fangirlingfanatic @darkhinauniverse @ravenr22 @im-a-satanic-ritual @ravennm84

[t-thathandsomedevil]

~Her~ || Mattheo R. x fem! Reader

Author note! <33 I hope you like it, I worked on it at flipping school so Its fluff only. I always accept corrective criticism, spelling correction, grammar correction, and requests. Im sorry this is so bad and cringy btw. -A/N❤

1,492 words 7,983 characters

You listened silently to the conversation the other girls at the lunch table were having, feeling awkward at the prospect you didn’t know any of them. “Oh my god I love him so much” a girl with short brown hair and friendly makeup gushed, pointing to a boy at the table across from the one you were sitting at. You turned your head slightly, enough to be able to see who she was pointing at but not enough to be noticed. The boy she was pointing at had curly black hair, brown eyes and light skin and was grinning and talking to a friend. Mattheo Riddle. — “Let's play truth or dare!” Lorenzo said excitedly “I need a new story to post on buzzfeed.” Theodore rolled his eyes and smirked at Enzo “I should’ve guessed. But okay because I am boooorrrrrddddd af” “Okay” Mattheo said, eying the pretty girl in a hoodie with H/L H/C hair sitting quietly and alone, like she always does. “I wanna play and I wanna go first.” Draco said flatly, slicking back his platinum blonde hair. “I want to play as well, like I have to catch up on all my friend’s drama” Blaise said casually while eating his hamburger. “Truth or Dare is my fav game so yes!” Pansy gushed “Okaayy Theodore Nott. truth of dare” Draco asked “Truth.” “Is it true you…. Are dating Enzo?” “Yea.” “Okay…. Enzo truth or dare?” Theo asked, smirking at his boyfriend. “Dare” “I dare you to kiss me right now” Lorenzo rolled his eyes but smiled and leaned in and gave Theodore a soft but long kiss. “You guys are such a cute couple” Pansy noted, smiling wide “ANYWaayy, my turn because Enzo is kissing Theo.” Blaise said.

“no, I’m still going” Lorenzo huffed, shoving Blaise softly. “Mattheo truth or dare?” “Dare” “I dare you to kiss your crush” “Wtf bro I don’t a crush” “Don’t lie I saw you staring at Y/N” “Oooooooohh” Pansy squealed “Someone has a cruuuushhh” Mattheo blushed and scowled “Fine I do like her buuut she don’t know who tf I am” “Don’t make excuses.” — The lunch bell rang, signaling the end of lunch period and you were the first to get up. You hated the cafeteria. It was loud, food was flying everywhere, but most of all, you had to sit with people you didn’t know and who had friends and you just sat there yourself. You looked over your shoulder at Mattheo. The girl from earlier was there. Her short brown bob bouncing as she spoke. As you watched her talk to Mattheo, you felt a twinge of jealousy. Why do I feel jealous?? — “I’m Joyce,” A girl with short hair that bounced annoyingly. “Yea hi Joyce what do you want?” Mattheo asked, trying not to sound irritated. He absolutely hated when girls talked to him randomly and flirted with him and asked for his number and tried to use pick-up lines that stunk worse than public bathrooms. “I like your…. Eyes” She gushed Ew “Yea yea I like your um shirt” Mattheo said curtly “Is that all? Because I have to get to class” “Oh yea” Joyce said sweetly “I have to go to class too. Why don’t we go together?” Mattheo rolled his eyes “What class do you have?” “I have orchestra!” “Well, I have ELA and the orchestra room is downstairs right down this hall.” Stupid…. Joyce blushed “O-oh okay. See you later, then” She winked and gave Mattheo what she thought was a winning smile. Well f I’m late now… — You carefully wrote your name at the top of your page. At least I’m a good student… even though nobody likes me. You thought, pushing the page to the corner of your desk. “We’ll be working as partners” no…… “You can choose your groups, I’m sure your capable” Oh my god no

Everyone buzzed with excitement and found groups with their friends, leaving only you. The door opened and a boy stumbled in, panting. “I’m sorry I was late sir” he said “A girl named Jane was bugging me.” “Okay, I don’t need your excuses,” The teacher surveyed the room “Go work with Y/N.” You flushed and looked away. I have to work with MATTHEO! “Okaayy” Mattheo said, giving you a ravishing grin. “Hey princess” he said when he planted himself in the seat beside you You scowled “I’m not a princess.” “I’m sure you aren’t. What do we need to do?” “You’d know if you came to class on time and not 20 minutes late.” Mattheo laughed, “A girl named James was bugging me.” “You said Jane” “Well something like that.” You rolled your eyes. “We have to write a book report.” “Nooooooooo” Mattheo whined “I hatteeeee book repoorrtts” “You sound like a child” You said, looking at Mattheo coldly. “Okay finee,” he straightened “What book?” “What did you read?” If anything, Mattheo grinned “I read The Lord of The Rings” You rolled your eyes “What happened?” “Umm… I actually read Wattpad fanfic…” “I figured as much” You said, smiling a little “What happened?” As Mattheo retold the story, you looked over his face. He’s actually kinda pretty…. Wtf!? “You good? You look like you spaced out for a sec,” Mattheo said, smirking “W-what, oh sorry, so um yea what continue” “I already finished,” “Oh okay you can write it down, then.” What is wrong with me?? Mattheo’s hand brushed up against yours as he took the pencil from your hand. You felt your face heat up and you bit your lip. “Do you want to go to the library with me during our free period?” Mattheo asked while writing down the book report horribly. “Why?” You demanded “Because I see you sitting alone during lunch and during your free period.” He looked like he wanted to say more, but he only smiled and set down the pencil “See you later, then?” and stood up to leave. You felt slightly disappointed as you watched him leave, but you shook off the feeling and picked up the book report he left. — “How’d it go?” Enzo asked, smirking at Mattheo. “It went amazing.” Mattheo grinned “I asked her if she wanted to meet me at the library during free period. She looked like she liked the idea.”

“you better make the most romantic scene bro. I want tea and I want a nice movie to watch” Theodore said, tossing Mattheo a cigarette. “And I want something to post on Buzzfeed.” Lorenzo said “and Theo you can’t have cigarettes.” “Ugh” Theodore reluctantly handed Lorenzo his box “You too, Mattheo” — You skipped your 4 period class to get ready. Something you swore never to do. You curled your H/C H/L hair and stuck a small flower behind your ear. You sighed “What happened to me?” You curled your lashes, and applied a light layer of blush. The bell finally rang and you felt excitement rise in your body, but you battled it down and put on a straight face. When you got there, you found Mattheo already sitting on a beanbag chair, he had a black Nirvana t-shirt and black cargo pants. “You look nice,” He said “How did you get that all done?” You had a black tank top with a nice necklace and faded blue jeans. “I skipped my 4th period class. It was gym, anyway.” Mattheo laughed “I pretended to be sick and ‘went to the nurse’” “You are such a bad student!” you said, smiling down at the ground as you sat in the beanbag chair next to Mattheo. “And you are a wonderful student,” he winked, “That’s why I like you.” You blushed “Shut up, Riddle” “Okay Y/L/N” “Can I ask you something?” Mattheo asked “Sure, what is it?” “I- this was a dare, but I really do like you,” “I expected as much. Who gave you the dare?” “Lorenzo Berkshire.” Mattheo blushed and looked down “C-can I kiss you?” “Part of the dare?” You asked, unable to keep the hurt from your voice “No- yes, but the dare was to kiss my crush..” Mattheo said, not looking at you. “Please don’t hate me…” You sighed “I don’t hate you, Mattheo. Why do you think I skipped a class to do my makeup?” Mattheo smiled “So can I kiss you?” “Yes” Mattheo pressed his lips onto yours. He tasted like cigarettes, mint gum, and strawberry shortcake, as odd as that sounds. His hand traveled up your back and his other hand went to the back of your head, tangling in your hair. “I love you so much, Y/N…” He mumbled in between kisses. “I love you too…”

— “Best movie ever actually” Theodore whispered to Lorenzo “This is gonna get so many views,” Lorenzo whispered back, typing furiously on his phone. “I’m gonna tease him for this for eternity” Draco whispered, smirking “Your meeeeean” Pansy whispered, her lips pouting “They’re adorable!”

[tigerdrop]

so im kiiiinda redoing half of my fic. to account for the, uh. "canonically being able to put gordon into the computer" thing.

on the one hand i think its a way better deal b/c i will look 10% less insane writing about benrey literally putting him into the sims and playing with him like a doll . but on the other hand i have a bunch of words about gordon fingering himself that i cant use anymore

so. here they are, for u. "Enjoy"

———

Gordon blinks at the screen.

Benry Benry wants to have Oraljob sex with Gordon Freeman. Do you wish to proceed?

The laugh that erupts from him is high-pitched and violent, leaving him gasping for air. Benrey cackles in his ear. “I— I— Oh my God,” Gordon wheezes, doubling over. “You want to have what with me?! We can’t— We can’t show that on a Christian channel! We’re going to get so banned—“

“do you want to—“ Benrey can’t finish the sentence, gripped in the most intense laughter Gordon’s ever heard from him. “do you want to have oraljob?”

Gordon clutches his desk, weeping and howling.

When he calms down from his sudden fit of hysterics, he clicks “No”, to a chorus of disappointment from the chat. “I know, I know,” he says, sympathetic, “but seriously, Papa’s gotta pay the bills. Gotta keep it clean. PG-13, that’s my motto.”

“then why’s your dick out,” Benrey wheezes.

“Very funny—“

He stops in his tracks when he sees that his dick is, in fact, out. His Sims dick, that is. Gordon slams his ‘commercial break’ button so hard that he misses a few keys and takes a screenshot.

“Whoa! Put that thing away, man!”

“nice,” Benrey says appreciatively.

“Bear with me, folks,” Gordon begs. “We’re having some, uh, technical difficulties.” Why did his dick pop out? He said no! (In fairness, his Sim is decidedly not having oraljob sex. He’s eating a sandwich. With his penis out.) He hurriedly clicks through menus upon menus, trying to find a way to put his clothes back on, but none of the options do what he wants. “Why can’t I put away my stupid dick?!”

“hey, look. you just went up a level in nudism,” Benrey snorts.

Gordon buries his head in his hands, but can’t stop himself from an anguished laugh. “Okay! Give me fifteen, everybody. Go smoke a cigarette— or, or vape, I know the kids are big on the Juul these days, I don’t care, I’m not your dad.”

With that, he ends the stream.

“What kind of fucking mods did you download on my computer?” he asks, exasperated. “I feel like I need to give it a bath.”

“normal ones.”

“Uh-huh. You know my dick’s not even rendering correctly, right?”

“huh?” Benrey zooms in on it. “huh. it’s, uh. checkered.”

[some sort of connecting thought]

“I don’t even look like that, anyway,” Gordon mutters, brushing him off.

Benrey peers down at him. The webcam light turns on, drawing Gordon’s eye. “huh. i dunno. i can see the, uh… the resemblance.” He enunciates the last word carefully.

“Did you just turn on my webcam? Are we streaming right now?” Gordon sits upright, hastily checking on his streaming software. Still offline. Not that it would have mattered - he’s panned away to look at a stray dog in his yard - but it’s the principle of the thing.

“yeah, uh. no,” mumbles Benrey.

Gordon closes down OBS and Firefox entirely. Just to be safe. “A little fucking warning next time? How did you even do that?”

“administrator privileges.”

There’s a pause. Then Gordon sinks back down into his chair, defeated. “I shouldn’t have given you those. I should have smashed you up into little pieces when I had the chance. After you bought fucking Burnout Paradise on my dime—“

“you should show me what you look like,” blurts out Benrey, voice low and blunt.

“I— What?”

“i can make it look better. more like you.”

Gordon stares at the screen. Benrey avoids his gaze. He boggles a little, so far beyond comprehending this that he’s skipped past ‘denial’ and ‘anger’ all the way into ‘acceptance’. “Are you— Are you hitting on me?”

“for the immersion,” Benrey says stiffly.

———

Gordon throws his head back in frustration. “They’re just not— fucking— they’re not big enough! They’re short and stubby and I can’t— get them— where I want!” His wrist bends, desperately seeking something that he can’t describe. The tendons sing in pain. He hisses, then relaxes it, letting his hand fall limp.

Benrey stares down at him, mouth parted.

“This was stupid,” groans Gordon. “Now my hand’s all sticky and I don’t wanna wipe it on anything—“

“try again,” Benrey interrupts him, blunt and hoarse. “please?”

Gordon peers blearily at him from over the top of his glasses. “Huh?”

“i wanna.” That massive jaw gyres, struggling to work itself around a thought. “i could do it better. make it good.”

Heat rockets through Gordon’s belly, spiraling up his spine and leaving his hairs standing on end. His dick twitches without his conscious effort. Benrey’s eyes immediately dart to it. Emboldened, Gordon draws his fingertips around his hole, threatening to slip back in. “Yeah, bud? You sure? I don’t think you’ve ever done this before.”

“how would you know,” Benrey puffs.

“Uh, well, you’re in my fucking computer, for one thing.” He slips two fingers in with little resistance, just up to the second knuckle. For show. Nobody say he never did anything for Benrey. “But you know what? Maybe this’ll be funny.”

Benrey’s face hardens. “it’s not funny,” he says, pouting in high-definition. “i would never joke about pussy shit.”

“Point one: That is one hundred percent not true,” Gordon points out. “Point two—“ He curls them and groans, a soft noise. “I wanna hear it. Straight from the horse’s mouth.”

“what does this got to do with horses,” says Benrey, bewildered.

Gordon shifts in his seat, stretching a leg high into the air and gripping the back of his thigh to hold it firmly in place. His fingers move in a slow, back-and-forth motion, just enough that they visibly slide in and out, shiny and wet. Benrey makes a strangled noise in his throat.

“You think you could make it good for me? Tell me. Show me what I’m missin’ out on.”

Benrey’s fingers twitch around his avatar, scaled up to giant-like proportions, far too big for the task at hand but itching to put it into practice. “fuckin’,” he starts, low and rumbling and struggling to articulate himself, “stretch you open… mine’re bigger. lookie.” With his other hand, he waggles his fingers in front of Gordon.

“Well, duh,” Gordon says.

Above him, Benrey’s gaze shifts to his own hand, gears churning behind his eyes. “they’re still bigger,” he insists.

To prove his point, he snaps them - in a stomach-churning instant, Gordon’s camera snaps back to an isometric viewpoint, looking in on their dollhouse. On them. On Benrey’s Sim, pale and shirtless, beads of sweat tastefully textured on his skin, leaning over his own on the cheapest double bed Simoleons could buy. There’s a hand pressed against the mattress, and another at his waist. Pawing at him. And, unlike Gordon’s own hands, they’re proportioned well for a guy his size: closer to dinner plates than the slim, short ones he’s furiously trying to bend into the right shape in real life.

He shivers in his seat.

“Point taken,” he says. His voice cracks partway through.

As if on cue, their Sims start moving again, gracelessly sliding and snapping into a new position. Gordon’s stripped naked, letting Benrey between his legs, and one large hand buries itself in that hairy, thorny knot of polygons and glossy pink textures while the other holds him wide open. The fidelity’s good enough that Gordon can see exactly how the fingers curl: two outside, keeping them back, and two inside, making his Sim’s hips gyrate.

“lookatchu,” Benrey rumbles in his ear. “takin’ it like a champ…”

Gordon sucks in a sudden breath. He curls his own fingers in time with the animation, speeding up to match.

“bet you could take more.”

He whines and visibly clenches around his fingers. “Jesus, man!”

“yeah? yeah? c’mon,” taunts Benrey, shy of breath. “show me. put another one in.”

Gordon weakly mumbles some expletives as he leans his head into the crook of his headphones. Presses himself closer to that voice. “Who taught you how to fucking— talk like that,” he groans, pushing in a third finger.

The fans inside his tower spin faster. Louder. “fuuuck, dude,” he hears, a low, pained utterance.

“I’d let you,” Gordon says dizzily, “God, I must have lost my fucking mind, I don’t know what’s wrong with me,” his fingers make slick, filthy, squelching noises inside of himself, “let you put your hand in me—“

“i wanna,” Benrey cuts him off, too fast. Eager. “wanna fuckin’— wear you like a puppet—“

Gordon makes a sharp noise that surprises even himself. The he half-laughs, half-pleads, “Don’t say shit like that! That’s not— That’s not hot!”

“you moaned. i heard it, buddy.”

He ignores this. Benrey takes the opportunity to lean in, getting a closer view of Gordon’s webcam. And the slick folds Gordon’s spreading open for him.

[konaanaria13]

Perfect Darling

James Potter x Reader

I just kinda imagined this i don't like the end product so i might delete it but yuh thx!

Warnings: smut, Breeding, mentions of spit kink, kissing, slight biting kink,

Maybe I wasn't in love. It was a fully possible that all i was feeling was the heat of being in a relationship with somebody.

But I mean it was James Potter, How can you not love a boy who represented the sun?

How could I not look at him and be entierly taken in by his presence, His breath, His smile, His way of laughing, the way he pushed His glasses up and brough His fingers to His lip's.

everything resembled the love you would give to a prince or a royal who is compleatly and madly perfect.

James Potter was Perfection.

"What are you thinking about?" Regulus asked as I looked over to the window.

"Nothing sorry" I looked down at my Potion which we had to do till next friday to get done

"You know ahm The slytherin's wanted to know if you we're free tomorrow?" Regulus asked silently as if it wasn't a big deal.

"No sorry i have homework" I whisper remembering my meeting with Said James.

"Oh okay i was just wondering if you would be able to come to the three brooms sticks with me, Barty, Evan and Dorcas? oh and Pandora should be joining too"

"I would be out of place anyways" I say Putting some finishing touches to the potion in front of us.

"No! ahm well we just thought since we'll you know we're pretty much always teamed up in our shared classes you would want to do something with me? us. but also me? im not asking you out on a date by the way I'm.. not like into you! no offence" Regulus rambled a bit As i smiled.

"Its okay really and I would love to join you guys I really do like working with you but I have something to do... Maybe next time"

"Oh? who?" Regulus cached on Quickly.

"Can't tell... yet" I whisper and He smile's.

"As long its not my idiot brother" He mumbled and I laugh

"Your Brother is an Idiot" I agree

"so is Stupid James" Regulus muttered and I Couldn't help but get a bit red.

"How is it? like your Friends with them? "

"oh... well i don't know my sister is Friend's with them. and you know James liked Lily-"

"Liked?"

"yes he doesn't like her anymore" I whisper and he raises an eyebrow.

"But they're a lot nicer than you think. Believe me he's not so bad. Sirius I mean-"

"I know He's not bad I'm His brother..."  the bell rang and i got my thing's together.

"I'll see you next Friday? it should be done by then?"

"yes!" I smile and leave Quickly Getting up to the Common Room.

"Lily have you taken my Potion's book? i had to use Regulus' all Class" I say sitting down beside Remus and her.

"No? why would i need it your in a different grade?"

"Yeah i know... well ahm I'll see you guys later?" I stood up again going up to my dorm.

"Yeah"

♡♡♡

I went Up to The boy's dorm and knocked.

"come in" James Voice was bright and I opened the door getting inside and Seeing James in the bathroom door shirtless.

"The other's are gone so we have about three hour's on our own!" He walked over to His bed looking for a clean shirt.

"Oh nice" I stared at Him. His body was still wet like His hair from a shower he just took and you could see his eyes trying to look for his glasses.

"There on your desk" I point at one of the four desk that we're pushed up against each other in a square where everything was put on from all four of them.

"Oh yeah thank's" He walked over and put them on looking at me.

"Take a picture" He laughed starting to pose a bit.

"You look good" I close the door taking my Rope off and walking over to his bed sitting down.

"How was Potion's Yesterday we didn't have time to talk?" James put a shirt on to my disappointment and cleared the bed letting me lay down beside him.

"It' was nice, Regulus invited me to the three broom stick's with his Friend's. Not like a Date he just thought we could Hang out."

"Why didn't you say yes?"

"because I wanted to spend time with you. we can barely see each other and we'll We haven't really got any chance to even talk about everything. you just said oh hey Girl! oh hey Friend! oh hey Let's fuck her drunk and  then-"

"I wasn't Drunk?"

"What?"

"And not Girl. Friend. its Girlfriend, And  I like you and i know it's weird cause we can't tell the other's cause-"

"You told me you we're drunk?"

"I didn't- i was but not like drunk enough to not know who you we're!?" His eyes we're on me and i couldn't help but glance at his perfect lip's.

"Your so annoying" I whisper and he laugh's.

"Why?"

"Because I thought you slept with me because you we're drunk. and I thought you wanted to be with me because you we're some kind of gentleman" I whisper and He smile's.

"I knew who you we're and I want to be with you Because I Like you-"

"And my Sister?"

"Your Sister doesn't like me and nor do anymore so don't talk about her anymore" He kissed me his mood changing Quicker than Minny's expression when she got Angry.

"I only want you at the moment so" His lip's pushed against mine and my mood changed to quick as well.

I flick my tongue over his lip, His body rising as he pushed himself up going above me.

"Lock the door idiot" I whisper and he laugh's.

"Already Locked it" He whispered His mouth reconnecting with mine as he pushed his tongue through my lip's His teeth baring against mine.

"James" I whispered my hand's coming up to his face to get him closer to mine.

"Hm?"

"Silencing spell?" I ask and He laugh's pushing himself off me and grabbing His wand over my head whispering Silencio.

"Thank's" I mumble as He kisses My forehead and goes down my neck opening my blouse.

His Teeth dug into my skin as I let my hand's go through His hair, letting out Hot breath's and occasional moan.

His fingers pushed the fabric behind my shoulder and lifted me up so he could unclips my bra which took about three minutes until I did it for Him and He groaned.

"Those things are made way to complicated" He said and I laugh sitting up against Him touching His face my finger's wet from His hair as I bit down on His bottom lip.

"Ah!" He pulled away as I pulled Him back pushing my tongue over the are where I bit down as He immediately melted into my touch.

His hand's went up my back and down, He got  His hand's on my ass squeezing it and pushing me up Putting his Mouth on my Breast taking one of the nipples between his teeth and pulling on it, stretching my skin and sucking on it till it turned purple.

"Take off your skirt" He whispered He pushed me further up to make some space in between us.

I pushed the skirt down and he helped throwing it on the ground as he took his belt off and I set on his lap His Lip's back on my neck.

I let myself grind on him Feeling myself get wet and him get hard under me His hand's still firm on my ass as I quickly got his shirt off, letting my head onto His I let out a moan.

"James-" I whispered.

"Hm-?" I felt salvia drop onto my stomach as He laid me down on my back his hand pushing me down onto my chest as he took a second to breath through, He Quickly took His pants off if we can call Two minutes of struggling Quick.

"you look good like that" I laughed as He kissed me again positioning himself onto me again.

"Do you wanna go to Hogsmeade with me next weekend then?" i ask and he laugh's.

"I have detention with filch" He says and i laugh sitting up.

"Don't you always?" I pull him into a kiss and He fall's into me, it was like pulling a switch in which he just melted into my arm's every time I touched Him.

"Yeah" I put my legs around His waist feeling His hard dick under me, grinding myself above Him, He let out soft pants and lifted me up slowly pushing himself into me making me break the kiss to let out air and a moan.

at first He didn't move watching me closely as I adjusted riding him a little bit until his eyes glanced down at my chest and his hand's went up from my back to my chest and neck moving me up and down.

My moan's increased as he was completely in me.

"Such sweet sound's for me?" He asked whispering laying me down on my back his hip's moving into me as his hand got around my throat and his finger's went over my nipples.

"Stick you tongue out" I did as he told me and his hand thightend spit coming up my throat as he pushed into me deeper and harder

"You look so pretty like that i just want to spit in your mouth" He laughed and I can't explain what happenee while He said that because my entire body melted down I couldn't make a sound and my eyes watered feeling myself cum around him my only thought beung to that comment.

"Fuck did you just cum?" He asked looking down as my eyes went to my head every second he pushed into me.

"Give me a minute and i'll be there baby" He laughed His hand loosend up on my throat and i felt Air move into my lung's my body still unable to move again.

"You look like your high baby" I smile up at him pushing myself up on my elbows.

"Kiss me" I whisper as he got faster again putting His hand on my lower back pushing me up and going faster groaning into my mouth as i let my moan's escape.

"I'm gonna cum" He whispered and I move my hip forward and backwards while he helped me to move up and down quickly feeling him fill me up.

[vivienneurloverr]

A Humans Prayers

Chapter Summary : Lucifer and Diavolo are finalizing the second human exchange student and Diavolo reveals why he’s actually doing the exchange program

A/N : I apologize for any mistakes, this is my first time writing a story so if a mess something up please tell me.

‼️ SPOILERS FOR OBEY ME LESSONS ‼️

Lucifer sighed deeply, the amount of paper work he has yet to do for the up coming exchange student program was getting ahead of him. He thought that an exchange program was stupid, trying to “connect the three words and live in peace” is what Lord Diavolo had said. Lucifer knew it was bullshit, Diavolo always had something more up his sleeve. Besides connecting the three worlds would do basically nothing for the Devildom. It make Lucifer irritated to not know what he was helping him achieve however, Lord Diavolo was always good at hiding what he was thinking, so trying to figure it out on his own would never work. Not like he would try to figure it out either way. That day. They day of The Fall, Lucifer had pledged his loyalty to Lord Diavolo in exchange that his sister would be able to survive as a human. If that meant playing along with his plan blindly then Lucifer would do it. He looked at each profile carefully, he had been in charge of picking the second human exchange student. The other human exchange student had already been chosen, his name was Solomon and he was a powerful sorcerer one that was no stranger to the Devildom. That meant he wasnt someone Lucifer had to worry about, which lifted some responsibility off of his shoulders. The second person on the other hand was difficult. Diavolo wanted to make sure that the human was someone inexperienced so that they could see how a regular human would adapt to a place like the Devildom. That made Lucifer annoyed, not only would he have to make sure no one was ruining Diavolo’s name but he would also have to make sure to keep a human alive.

A few minutes late there was a light knock at the door. Lucifer had been expecting Lord Diavolo to stop by to discuss the who the second exchange student would be. “You may come in Lord Diavolo.” Lucifer said, not looking up from a random girls profile. The door swung open and Diavolo stepped in. “Ah, hello Lucifer. Have you made any progress on choosing the exchange student?” Lord Diavolo said sitting down on one of the chairs in front of Lucifers office desk. Lucifer scoffed in reply, “These humans have no special qualities about them, they would all die early on in a place like the Devildom.” He looked up from the profile looking Diavolo in the eye. “As long as you and your brothers are there to protect them im sure everything will be fine. After all you wouldn’t let anything go wrong, right?” He had said, his voice more serious than it normally was. “Of course not Lord Diavolo.” Diavolo got up from the chair and made his way to the window behide Lucifer’s desk. “I have an idea for who to pick.” Diavolo stated as he stared out of the window towards the downtown shops. Lucifer was now looking at someone else’s profile. “And who would that be?” He questioned. Diavolo took a deep breath before turning his head to look at Lucifer. “They are a distant descent of Lilith’s.” He stated. Lucifer could feel his blood run cold as he froze. Lord Diavolo had said that he and his brothers were to never see Lilith or Lilith’s human relatives, why would he change it now? He turned around slowly in his chair to face Diavolo, his brows furrowed as he stared at him. “Why would you want her descendant here. What would be the difference between them and a regular human?” His voice was flat but you could easily pick up on the anger in his voice. Diavolo lightly smirked as he turned his head back towards the window. “Lilith’s descendant has both human and angel blood. Someone like that would be valuable to me. Imagine the kind of power i would have if there were to be a marriage between all three realms.” He held no emotion in his voice. Lucifer could only scoff. “You wish to marry this person for more power huh. As much as I would love to believe that something like that would work, how would you get the human to fall in love with you.” Lucifer could see Diavolo smirking as he was still staring out of the window. “I have my ways. They will love me eventually, and once they do, and we are married everything will be mine.” Diavolo is the prince of the Devildom meaning he already has high authority, but if he were to become king then nobody would be able to stop him. Not even his father. “How are we even so sure that they have magic. Afterall, a powerless human would do no good for the Devildom.” Lucifer questioned. “I had Barbatos look into the future. They hold magic beyond our dreams, something even more powerful than Solomon. They just need to learn how to use it.”

He turned around and walked to the office desk. He picked up a stack of profiles and flipped through them. He quickly found the one he was looking for and put it on the desk in front of Lucifer. “_____.” Lucifer said reading the name off of the profile. “I have decided that they will be staying at the castle in one of the spare bedrooms near mine during their time here. .” Diavolo checked the clock on the wall. “If thats all I will be on my way, im afraid Barbatos is waiting for me at the castle.” Diavolo said picking up the now useless profiles to take with him. “Goodbye Lord Diavolo.” Lucifer said as he watched Diavolo walk out of the room and closed the door behind him.

He was worried about how Belphegor would react to finding out they finalized the student coming. Lucifer knew that after it was finalized Belphegor would be livid because it meant there was no more chance of it not happening. Belphegor always got upset at the mention of humans ever since the fall. He used to be so fascinated by them when he was still an angel. He would sneak down to the human realm and was incredibly knowledgeable on them. However after the fall he became resentful towards humans. He blamed them for why Lilith died, he thought that all humans were cruel. Which is why he got livid at and mention of them, and now that one was going to be staying in the Devildom he was even more pissed. He had every right to be mad, however if he got in the way of Diavolo’s plan then the prince would have a harsh punishment awaiting him and a harsh punishment from Diavolo was pure torture. He would always vocalize how stupid he thought the whole thing was. However latley he had been making threats to kill the human student and the rest of the human population after them. Belphegor barged into the room, distributing Lucifer’s thoughts. “You have to stop Diavolo from doing this exchange program!” He said loudly. Lucifer sighed. “I know that you hate humans, but you dont have to talk to them, just dont harm them and everything will be fine.” “I can’t believe you would just let a human prance around in a place like here acting all high and mighty, why cant you ever just disagree with Diavolo for once, you’re like a mindless puppet for him! At this point it seems like you love him more than your own brothers!” Belphegor shouted as he turned into his demon form. “If you dont stop him then I will! I will kill that human no matter what it takes!” He shouted again. Lucifer knew what would happen if belphie killed the exchange student. Diavolo’s plan would be ruined, he wouldn’t get the magic that he wanted. And as the prince of the Devildom he was terrifying when he was angry. He knew that if he didnt keep Belphegor away that he would die. He couldn’t lose another sibling, all of his brothers meant a lot to him. Thats why he did what he did.

He dragged Belphegor up to the attic. “Why the fuck are you taking me up here.” Belphegor questioned. Lucifer didn’t answer, instead he keep walking up the stairs till he got to the door. He grabbed Belphegor and pushed him into the room roughly. Before Belphegor could understand what was happening Lucifer had locked the door. He was reciting a spell, one to keep the door locked and to insure that Belphegor would be safe from making any mistakes. “Why are you locking me up in here!?” Belphegor screeched. He didn’t understand why Lucifer would have done this to his own brother. “What the fuck is wrong with you! You really do care about Diavolo’s stupid plan more than your own brother, I should have know the day that you started working with him that you would get brainwashed like this!” Belphegor spat. The words hurt Lucifer, he didnt wish to hurt Belphegor but it was for the best. His face didnt show any emotions as he stated “You are to stay up here until the exchange program is done and you are no longer a threat. I will leave you with food and items to keep you entertained. This was your own fault, if you hadn’t threatened to kill the human student this wouldn’t have happened.” Belphegor stayed silent as he stared as Lucifer with hatred. Lucifer couldn’t take looking at Belphegor’s angry eyes, so he turned and left down the stairs.

“I promise I will kill that human and make your life miserable Lucifer.”

[the-wolfspider]

[Loading Video File.]

[Video File: Lab Recording O1.]

[Play? Y/N]

*Bowe is sitting at a desk fiddling with a measurment, and sighs.*

Hello. My name is Atticus Bowe-Lopez.

I have recently started therapy, and my therapist told me to make a journal. I hope that a video journal is suitable for him, cause I don’t like writing down my thoughts. Prefer it to be a spill of mush from my mouth for others to interpret.

*He clears his throat.*

Anyway. I reckon I can say anything in this thing cause only him and I are gonna see it.

So, to start off, He told me to answer some questions for him so that’s what I’m gonna do. It’s like having homework all over again.

Ahem

*Thered the sounds of paper rustling before he pops back up in frame.*

Alright. He wrote them down for me, so.

Question 1: What is your greatest fear?

Cheesy. Alright. I’d say my greatest fear is hurting the people I care about. I reckon that’s due to me having done it before and it’s a pattern I fear to repeat over and over. I’m trying to change for the better and yet I still fail. But I’m hoping that if I actually work myself out. That I won’t. That I’ll be able to control myself better. That I’ll be a good husband, I’ll be a good father, a good friend, and not be a jackass like I have recently.

Question 2: if you’ve done something terrible in the past, do you think you should be forgiven?

Okay Damn right from general question and right into stabbing me.

Short answer is No. I don’t think I should be forgiven.

I don’t think I should be forgiven for what I’ve said or what I’ve done in the past few days. I feel like I did stupid shit, terrible acts and yet I didn’t get punished.

Where are the consequences? Is there not supposed to be something to punish me for nearly killing my husband? For running off? For doing a stupid mission that led me nowhere?

…I think I made myself retire now as a punishment. As a way to keep myself from flying off the handle. …Maybe I can limit my Goober capabilities too…I’ll have to ask Lyla..at some point…if she’ll talk to me.

Question 3: Is there anything on your mind you want to talk about our next session?

I mean yeah. I’ve got shit loads. At the moment I’m worried about my situation with Duende. With Lindsey. With Miguel. With Mer. With Everyone.

Im worried about the choices I’m making.

If I’m in the wrong ship.

If I’m going to end up hurting others again cause I’m insisting that I can help.

But everytime I help I screw something up it seems.

…but Im also thinking about Lyla…

We had such a good friendship…but I think she hates me now…and that’s one of my worst fears.

Having an Ai despise me when she knows so much about me.

She’s been missing ever since she encountered duende and I’m terrified of what’s going to happen next. Out of all people she would be the one to be able to deliver a heart wrenching punishment to me…

I cared so much for her that it made me forget she’s one of the things that scare me the most, Especially with her access to so much information about me, my past, and everyone I care for. That if I get on her bad side that she could easily tear me down…god I hope it doesn’t come back to that.

Please let her just be in Maintenance…please I don’t need her to have been planning a way to get me out of here. To get Duende out. I don’t think I could handle that.

I—

*A flame flickers out in the background before flaring up in a huge puff]

SHIT—

[The video Ends there]

[sallytwo]

Any survival tips for cadet life? 😭

Ok I'm answering this dead serious. like 100%

do not stick out. don't be the best in the group and DO NOT be the worst in the group just be there. the more you're recognized the more room you have to fuck up.

its literally just a game. like just follow the orders and act out your part yes it's impractical and stupid but IT'S A GAME!

mio enegery caffiene drops add them to your water before going to bed every night and drink it as soon as you wake up :thumbs_up: if you put 4 in its equivalent to an energy drink.

have something in your room that makes you happy idfk like i realized they don't care if i decorate my desk and just have some mementos and stuff that make me happy and i snuck in a plant and then dont care. what ever !

if you have inspections in the morning put your mattress pad on your desk its 100% easier to roll up in the morning and then you're not sleeping on the ground

find stuff outside cadet lief that you can engage with i mean like my normal irl friends stopped TALKING TO ME when i became a cadet. but you do need a connection to the outside world in whatver form that may take. or you will become a regimental zombie and go insane.

if people invite you to do stuff go out and do it. unless you are going to have a miserable time in which case take time for yourself and chill af. but there is a fine line to balance here.

LEARN THE DIFFERENCE... BETWEEN A GOOD REFRESHING NAP... AND JUST LYING IN YOUR BED IN THE DARK NOT SLEEPING... thats how you get depressed.

if its cold outside close the windows when you enter your room and open them when you leave for class/obligations. because then you air out your room and get fresh air in your room when youre gone. it makes sucha huge difference.

spraying cleaner in front of a fan will make your entire room smell nice. also.

find some fun things to do or at least some things to do that get you outside of tha company and stuff. even if its random af just do it man.

if you dont know whether or not to salute someone just do it. maybe you'll look like an idiot if its just a 3/C but if its a reggie and you DONT salute them... brother you're in big trouble !

having nice soaps or lotions or stuff is sooo nice i got these nice solid cologne and they make my day like ten percent better it makes such a difference.

loyalty comes above a lot dont be a snitch dont be a narc but know when sticking your head out for others is gonna get YOU fucked over. also dont be overly loyal to people who arent loyal back.

do not ever get involved in company drama. if it comes down to it just sit in your room all day DONT GET INVOLVED IN DRAMA WITH OTHER CADETS

when marching you shouldn't be able to see the person to your right's shoulder

dont date other cadets /srs

if you are going through a period where youre kind of miserable and depressed and dont want to be here and just want to drop out and go home DON'T CHOOSE THIS TIME TO REPLAY NIGHT IN THE WOODS. IM SERIOUS ON THIS ONE.

okay cadets for life. anon i love you. we can make this together brother.

[freebooter4ever]

.

I know i said i wouldnt waste any more words on him but this morning im indulging.

It's cloudy and rainy in LA today. When I imagined being older - well first off I didn't think it would take me till my thirties to finally feel semi-securely independent- but as a kid I always saw myself living and working in Seattle (home) with the glossy wet streets and constant smell of damp pine needles. So I guess when I get even a little sense of that...it feels like some sort of accomplishment I didn't even recognize I was searching for? The mist at the seaport did the same. I didn't even bring a coat with me, I was wandering around the village in my goofy sailing ship sweater and 4 inch heels, probably standing out like a sore thumb. But you couldn't get me to get off those beautiful ships just because of a little rain. One of the volunteers I was chatting up was so amused by my refusal to stay dry she actually gave me her umbrella to use while she hid under the ship's eaves.

And Oh, the rain the greenery the clouds reminded me of that little island off vancouver island that i fell so much in love with while working there for a week. Where I went running on rocky beaches, and took my cool down sitting on a driftwood throne, and kept thinking about how i wanted to take nick out of land locked pittsburgh and get him out here to the pacific northwest and keep him. That was back when we were still doing our friends-with-benefits/lovers(?) thing, and eight years ago sounds like forever but it felt like no time at all when I saw him walking across the gravel hill in the port. (I keep reminding myself that he never called me once while he was in Seattle)(I thought about him constantly whenever I was there...and that was obviously not reciprocated).

But look, we met on one of my more miserable thanksgivings when I was headed down the treacherously tall front steps of his sister's pittsburgh north side house, and he was headed up with an arm load of pies. And all he had to do was fucking smile at me (and then later when I came back from my office around 2am to find him sitting on the floor of the kitchen eating pie, and I perched on the bar stool and we talked for three hours, and he kept smiling and smiling and smiling up at me like I was something special).

He smiled at me again when I unexpectedly saw him at the seaport. He did NOT tell me the bad weather meant he was no longer aboard whatever ship he had been supposed to be on. He had not responded to any of my texts about how I and a friend were making the trip anyway. And he must have overhead me bitterly complaining to my friend that I hated how much I loved this place because I wanted to see it, hate it, and be able to forget about him. So his smile was a little strained, I think.

I wish I had taken photos of his office. It was up this long flight of cavernous wood steps covered in hanging seafaring paraphernalia in a wooden building over a century old. And at the top, in his little room - also covered in ship building paraphernalia, he offered me a seat. But instead of sitting in the arm chair I pulled out a nearby stool so I could perch as close to his desk as possible. And to the left of me was this beautiful old glass window. So when looking at him got to be too much, i could stare out at the ships.

Cause looking at him was the same, like no time had passed, and it was weird and terrifying because of how unexpected that was. He could still lift me off my feet in a hug like it was easy, and the minute we touched I still didn't want to let go. Kissing was a little scarier than it used to be, but that was my fault for having retreated back into my shell during the pandemic. But between kisses, while we were still stuck together like magnets, I definitely kept babbling about how much I already loved this place, and how my job was all on the computer, and technically I could work remote anywhere I chose, and he was definitely encouraging it.

And I'm not stupid, I promise. I know that if I up and moved to small town rhode island nick would get tired of me within a week, and it would be a disaster and all fall apart. I know this has always been my lovestory and for him its something else entirely. But oh my god that office overlooking the ships, with his big blue eyes looking at me from across a desk that he utterly belonged in...that could be a fantasy.

(the best thanksgiving of my life was him and me alone in a cabin in the laurel highlands, taking his truck out in the snow and exploring the woods)(he baked me mac n cheese)(if i do have a type its: ‘can cook well’)(but im also awkwardly aware that my bar for ‘best’ is so low, that surely he's had better, and this is all one sided).

I've dated other people since, obviously, and they've been wonderful, but no one ever felt like ‘home’ like he did. And it alarmed me that the same feeling remained even after not seeing each other in person for six ish years. Sometimes it scares me that I won't ever find that again. Especially getting older, and getting all of society's messaging that I'm basically undesirable and worthless at this point. And I also sometimes wonder what it means that I could feel that way about someone who doesn't feel the same way back, and maybe that means this feeling is wrong somehow. But I don't even know what this feeling is, thats so strong it compells me to drive over eight hours not even expecting to see him but just to see the misty seaport that has held this previously nomadic ski bum/sailor/new yorker down for more than a year.

I'm not going to think about it deeper than I already have. I have come to him so much over the years. Maybe if he finally comes to LA for a bit. Maybe then. But oh my god there's a huge chunk of me that longs to sit in that office, watching the ships and him, until I get my fill of it, whenver that might be.

[laceyeb]

If you don’t want to read an essay about my experience, you can skip this.

But holy fucking shit. I did it.

So I took my iPad to work this morning and connected to the hotspot on my phone because I couldn’t get on ticketmaster via the work wifi. Fair enough. I got all set up, brought the site up at about 9:30 for the presale that started at 10:00, and I was ready to go. My students were working independently because I told them we were going to do an “experiment” and see if they could actually figure out how to work on their assignment on their own without me giving them the instructions a million times and I bribed them with class points. My students very conveniently have recess at 9:59. (Total coincidence. That is their actual recess time.) Then 10:00 came and went and nothing happened. The screen was loading and loading and loading and then it popped up with the date and time for regular tickets. I knew that was wrong.

At about 10:07, I went to the ticketmaster twitter and saw that west coast presale had been rescheduled for 3PM. At least a was then able to calm down for a bit, but we had TWO parent teacher conferences scheduled at 3:00! All the 7th grade teachers were meeting together to do the conferences. I finally was able to slide my iPad over and get into the waiting room at about 2:50. I left it on a desk behind me, but another teacher saw me keep glancing back at it. Jokingly she said, “What are you doing? Trying to get Taylor Swift tickets or something?” To which I responded, “YES I AM IM VERY STRESSED!” Something like that. (She basically said, “Well get me one too!” So we’re going together! She’s also very excited!) The queue started at 3:00 and I saw the dreaded “2,000+ people ahead of you.” I did not panic, but I did sit there and watch the thing not move AT ALL. I was ultimately waiting about an hour and ten minutes before I got to look at tickets. I know people were waiting for hours, so I think that was pretty good! The little slider showing where I was at started moving, but the 2,000+ did not. Very suddenly at about 4:05, my number dropped to about 1400. Then suddenly 1100, then 400, then like 40 all in about two minutes. I was getting all worked up. The other teachers in the room looked a little frightened, but luckily our conferences were done.

When I got in to get tickets, there were not a lot left and they were disappearing under my fingers as I was trying to click on them. It was very chaotic. The stupid credit card company sent me THREE codes to ensure it was me AND I got a fraud alert message. But I finally got through all of that and got our tickets! I was freaking out. Another teacher was freaking out on my behalf. The PE teacher was giving me fist bumps. It all still feels like a dream.

Maybe a minute later, three of my seventh grade girls walked in because they had a basketball game tonight and I saw them and I said, “OH MY GOD GUESS WHAT I JUST DID?!” And they all freaked out!

It was quite a day and I’m not even sure how to go on.

[benjaminjgbarnes]

Seecrit Power 1.

Me and nic and alex hang out all the time now.

When our class goze to the library we sit at the table in the corner.

When im looking for them at lunch sometimes I cant find them because there looking for me.

We stayed up almost all night at Alexes house and we played time crisis with the real gun I got from my cousin and then we snuck out the window and lit the speshal maches alexes big brother got from army cadets.

They bern bright for ages because they have the red stuff almost halfway down the mach except its brown which is probably for camo.

Nics house is big because it used to be a church and his dad takes us to the rugby in a limmo.

Nic knows the driver but his mum never comes with us.

At the stadium we can drink unlimited cokes.

Nic has something hes going to tell us that he has been keeping a seecrit.

We ask him and beg him to at least tell us at school.

He is going to tell us behind the greenhouse that is next to the sandpit.

The sandpit is where the little kids play so its sort of a seecrit place to meet.

Nic says close our eyes.

He asks if we can see the wite lights.

Alex says yes and Nic says that he thought he would.

I say I can see them too but i dont get it - what wite lights?.

Nic says Heres how you charge them up.

He rubs his eyes and his elbows do big chicken wings.

I can see them - The white lights are brighter now because I charged them up.

I do what he did and and I can see some stuff now.

I didnt know what he meant before but now I can see them and I saw them before too but I just didnt know what he meant.

Alex can see them even more now too.

We can all see them.

This means we have special powers.

Cool what are they says Alex.

Yeah cool what power is it I say.

You have to practise and some people cant even do it says nic.

You can move things.

Nic closes his eyes and charges up the lites then he shoots his hand out.

Here we go he says.

We look across the grass area to the bball court.

It looks windy.

Im making that happen says nic.

Woah your moving the ball says alex.

And your making it windy I say.

Yeah I knew you would be able to see says nic.

I think your powers will probably be pretty strong.

The bell goes.

Practiss at home and as much as you can says nic.

2.

I dont tell Ed or luke about the power on the way home.

Its a seecrit and its better if they dont know.

I have to practiss so I say goodbye and dont hang around when we get to the parc.

At home I try to charge up my eyes and open the gate with my powers.

When i open my eyes I think it might have moved a tiny bit.

A gate is big and I still have to practiss a lot.

What are you doing says my sister.

Its a seecrit I say and smile.

She says its stupid and she already knows what it is.

No you dont I say you cant its a seecrit.

I run away but only because I have to practiss more.

I move almost everything in the house a tiny bit.

Things can move a really tiny amount.

If I can just get lots of things to move a little bit then my powers will be trained up.

Alex will be training too and nic already has strong powers.

3.

I have been hiding from nic and alex at lunch because I cant move things far yet.

Luckily i am fast so I can always get away when i need to.

We still sit together at the back when our class goes to the library.

Im glad when nic says he had to start small when he was practissing.

He says try this and takes a pencil and makes it so it points at the roof.

No charge he says and he closes his eyes and puts his nose close to the pencil and the pencil falls over.

I say yeah I did that one when I was practising at home.

Alex says show.

I put the pencil up and i close my eyes to focus my power.

I hope that i can get one of my tiny movements to happen or nic and alex will think that my powers are weak.

It takes ages but i hear it fall over and it falls all the way off the desk.

Woah I did not think i could make it move that much.

I smile tho.

Alex looks at nic and smiles and grabs the pencil so he can try.

It falls over before he can start and Nic laughs because he knocked it over as a joke.

Alex looks at nic and grabs the pencil again and sets it up.

I will charge my eyes up a bit he says in a funny voice.

Good idea we can help you says nic.

He closes his eyes and I say yeah we will help.

I probably dont need it but ok says alex.

My eyes are itchy from rubbing and I open them for a second.

I see nic push the pencil over and he looks at me as he does it.

Alex hears the pencil fall and opens his eyes.

There

[moth-feeet]

i never talk about this but i’m feeling especially sad about it cause i’m on my period so i’m gonna rant to you all!

i have several physical disabilities and recently my neurologist presented the possibility of seizures being the culprit causing my fainting spells. i took the last year of school (10th/sophomore) off and resting and healing, so i left public school and started online. obviously that sucked cause i didn’t get to see my tc who for now i’ll call W. it was hard, he is one of the greatest people i’ve ever known and after a year in his class we became close so i continued to email him throughout my past school year away.

this year the plan was to return to school, i would be at a private religious school (im not religious but it is just one of the better schools in my area) and i would most likely be placed back into W’s class given how small of a school it is.

that whole plan might be thrown out the window. my mother is considering the idea of “home bound” it’s a government thing that is free schooling where a teacher would come to my home three days a week to teach. i, under no circumstance, would be able to work along side W ever again. which is devastating.

in all honesty i hated school, i was bullied, i was severely su!cid!al, and it worsened my health, leaving last year was a great idea. but i’ve been entirely alone most days all year, given my family works and i do not. i don’t have a car or license and if i have a seizure disorder i never will. again devastating.

basically this is all to say i won’t get to see W, he and i used to have what he called our “book club” every lunch. he’d sit at his desk and id usually pull a chair near his desk and he’d read while we ate. he read me great gatsby, he read a few nonfiction books, he read poetry, he read so many beautiful books and i would sit and listen and it was truly the most amazing experience i’ve had at a school.

i want to go back and be in his class and see my friends, but i also hated the school, the nurse and several teachers tried to force me into confessing i was lying and never passed out and was just trying to leave school. i had many fainting spells, migraines, i have ehlers danlos syndrome (eds), so on multiple occasions i had dislocated joints in pe. but through all the awful shit that school put me through, W was there.

he would have days in class where he’d put on an educational film, he taught geography and history so usually something along those lines, and we’d all lay on the soft carpet in his room and he’d sit down on the floor with us.

he was so sweet and always so worried about me, i’d come in and he’d ask if i was dizzy or felt bad and always let me lay in the couch in his room if i wasn’t feeling well.

he was such a safe place. and now i might never been in his class again.

ig all i’m saying is it sucks losing my life to stupid shit like my disabilities. i was so happy at the idea of seeing W every day again and now i’m not sure i’ll be able to leave my home again.

it all sucks.

[thelightsmiles]

wedesday morning

he's still asleep. i wasnt gonna get up yet. i was gonna sleep in on my weekend, like i always tell myself im gonna do bc i hate getting up early. its only 8am, and im glad im not waking up at 10 or something. i couldnt get his keyboard to work. he has this whole setup now, and i love it bc im totally gonna write more. im totally gonna make more art now.

we got a desk for the room. it reminds me of my old desk, at the house with all the memories. that was my little studio. i have so many memories in that desk. so many dark moments, too. but i like to look back at those years, i love to imagine myself back there, but i cant. its like i know i cant go back, but i just wish there was some way i could grasp it just enough to get those emotions i used to feel, to somehow be that person again for just a half of a second.

id like to think id be satisfied with half a second, but id probably hold on too tight if i found a way to do that, and never let go.

i had this little square of wood. im not sure what youd call it, what i used it for. it was my special block though, and i miss it. i miss how i used to create. so genuine and so easily. not always, but i let myself back then. i havnt let myself create like that in years.

its kinda funny, when i was 14 or 15 i would write these stories about how one day i got out of there, i escaped that stupid little town, i left and i never looked back, i created the life i wanted. in most of them, though, i just met someone and they saved me. they took me far away and i loved them forever. in most of them, if im being honest, tj came back.

he came back just like i fantasized about every night for months and then years. i dont remember when i fell out of love with him. it was longer than a year. i waited all that year, knowing he was gone but i couldnt handle it. i think i sent him an email once, and he probably didnt even log into his account, its probably sitting in there still.

id look at these pictures i had of him, and id think about how i could see us together in the future. i always thought about how hed be such an amazing dad. i wrote so many letters to him, i never sent them. i couldnt even give him that note id worked so hard on the day he left.

it took a really really long time for me to heal from that boy. and now that i dont idolize him, i cant imagine ever falling for someone that way again. i dont know how i could have, i didnt even know him. i think he was just the only boy whod ever given me some sort of hope that i wasnt unlikable.

so i did need that. i needed to learn all those lessons that taught me. i needed all those moments from that time period that ill never be able to remember.

all i know is i miss my childhood so much it hurts. id give almost anything to go back, and im not supposed to say that, bc i thought id let go of it ages ago, for the last time. i thought id accepted it was over and decided to finally live for that girl i used to be.

its kinda funny how all the little parts of our lives flow together so nicely when you look back, despite how incredibly different we were, how differnt the times were.

im still not sure when my depression was at its worst. there was one fall-summer that i wasnt there. i didnt exist. i dont remember myself.

id wake up at like 5pm and go out, id walk to the library and grab a random book, id go take my walk and sit by the water or stand on the bridge looking out at it. it was always so cold, but i dont remember being cold. i just remember the street lights, the snow, the music, the pain.

id get home and start reading, and then it would be 6am and id have finished that book, and i went to bed and cried myself to sleep, and then it would happen all over again.