#sitting on someone's lap

[shapeshiftinterest]

Best Seat In The House: bowser x luigi

luigi is chosen as the ambassador for the mushroom kingdom, bowser’s council try to kick him out on the technicality that you must be seated to participate in negotiations

luckily, the best seat in the house is right at the front of the table

or: luigi is tired and 2 can play at being petty

big thanks to AllageAntelope from twitter for helping translate and collab on the italian dialogue

story under the read more

Best Seat In The House (also on ao3)

Luigi was tired. He was tired and hungry and just wanted to do his ambassador job negotiations with Koopa Kingdom already. This was the third time traveling back and forth between kingdoms and Bowser’s council kept locking him out on the grounds of ‘You must be seated to participate in negotiations, Ambassador Greenie‘.

Ugh!! It wasn’t his fault there were never any seats provided! Every time the green plumber arrived, announced and everything, all the seats had been filled up by council members. No one would bring him a chair either!

He sighed, clutching the strap of his messenger bag and looking at the, once again, full table. An assortment of older goombas, koopa troopas, and what have you were talking to each other amicably but he could tell they were laughing at him in the middle of it all.

“Ambassador Green ‘Stache!” A bespeckled Boo greeted him, smirk on her translucent face. “So good of you to join us! Come, come, take a seat.”

“Vecchio troglodita rimbambito,” he muttered under his breath.

“What was that, dear?”

“Nothing, Signora Beatrix,“ he smiled.

“Hmmm,” she said, floating back to her seat.

Luigi let out a sigh. Now, where to sit, where to sit. Looking around, it seemed like no one would help him again this time either. He spotted Bowser at the head of the table, talking to a decorated veteran Goomba.

The two made eye contact and the plumber almost felt hopeful- until the king sneered at him and turned back to the Goomba. Ok, that’s it. If they wanted to be petty, he could too.

Strengthening his resolve, Luigi thanked the Boo and started marching towards the other end of the room.

“Excuse me, Signore,” he addressed the Goomba, the two pausing their conversation. “But I’d like to get to my seat, per favore.”

Bowser snorted, the force almost knocking Luigi’s hat off. “The hell’re you on about, Greenie?” He growled, shooing away the Goomba.

Luigi looked at him. “I’m-a just taking my seat, like everyone keeps-a telling me to do,” he deadpanned, before performing a jump and landing on the throne’s arm rest. The room quickly devolved into chaos, council members hooting and hollering for the plumber to get down.

“Ambassador Green Mario, this is highly inappropriate, get down from there at once!” a Blooper garbled from the large fishbowl perched on a chair, water splashing onto the rug.

“My name,” Luigi said, “Is-a Luigi, Signora Blombell.”

The Blooper in question sputtered angrily. How dare-

“But I-a suppose you’re right.”

Everyone calmed down as the plumber made to get off of the arm rest-

Only for him to slide onto Bowser’s lap instead.

“The best seat should-a be reserved for foreign guests, no?”

Luigi paid them no mind as he got comfortable, butt on the king’s thigh and back against the arm rest he’d been sitting on previously. He could feel the king jolt in surprise but ignored it in favor of finally being able to take the official papers and note taking supplies out of his bag.

“GWAHAHAHAHA!!”

The room fell silent at the king’s boisterous laugh; who knew Greenie- no, Luigi, could have such a petty side to him? It took balls to disrespect another kingdom’s royalty outside of their usual battles, and Bowser could respect that, to an extent.

A heavy clawed hand whacked the plumber on the back for finally growing a spine, and in such a hilarious way too! Said plumber made a disgruntled sound when his papers, and himself, almost fell.

Gathering his items, Luigi side glared at him and readjusted so he was basically straddling Bowser’s leg while using the king’s knee as a table. Oh. Well.

Bowser’s eyebrows jumped in surprise, the shorter man must’ve really been pissed off if he wasn’t even acknowledging such a scandalous pose. He coughed. He knew his kingdom was hot but was it getting even hotter or was it just him? Ah, whatever.

“Start the meeting,” he said, leaning on the opposite arm rest with his cheek in his hand.

“But, Sir-”

“Doesn’t matter,” Bowser growled, “We’ve wasted enough time. Start. It.”

And with that, negotiations with the Mushroom Kingdom finally started. And if Bowser sneaked a few peaks at Luigi’s ass, well, that was his business.

Bonus:

bowser gets bored during normal meetings and jiggles his leg sometimes

he forgets luigi’s on his lap and starts doing it but luigi grunts at him and uses his thighs to tighten his hold  so he won’t fall off

because luigi’s using bowser’s knee as a writing surface and said knee is lower than a table cuz he’s sitting on it, luigi has to bend over a little to write comfortably

this means that sometimes, when writing notes, he’s got his hands on bowser’s knee trying to keep the papers flat and bowser keeps noticing his butt

thankfully the council members don’t notice cuz they’re all debating with each other

kamek notices bowser noticing tho ( ;=-=)

stupid sexy luigi, distracting him from his meeting LINK to simpsons reference

______________________________________________________________

vecchio troglodita rimbambito = old dumb troglodyte

signora = miss/ ma'am

signore = sir

per favore = please

[ryllen]

When he saved me on Glorious Masquerade, I finally understand why people like him (so thoughtful huhu .. TT TT)

[mywolvie]

if you asked me about old man logan, i’d tell you that i love him and i think he’s handsome.

but if you asked me on a deeper level…

i’d tell you i’ve never been this feral over a man before. i’d let him do unspeakable things to me. take me in every way possible. till he’s 90? no we’re never stopping. he’s so fucking sexy. the gray hair and beard are giving me heart palpitations. that scene with the girl in the backseat flashing him and him smirking in response is keeping me up at night. i want to lick every inch of him. i want him to spit in my mouth. i want marks on my body to show everyone i’m his. i would be on my knees 24/7. i have lost any ability to be normal. he’s all i’m thinking about and no man will ever compare to him.

[princess-kittyxoxo]

CashApp | Venmo | Ko-fi

[haunted-xander]

Catgirls having gay sex at Limsa aetheryte plaza

[flowing-between-space]

.

[lesbiannieism]

okay but logistically, how does the boys going with crystal on the plane even work? do they both have to sit on her lap? do they cram themselves into the floorboard by her feet? do they buy two extra plane tickets? do they hover? CAN they hover?

[fiona-fififi]

Suddenly thinking about Buck, after he and Eddie finally get together, accompanying Eddie to his pick-up games every now and then just so he can sit on the sidelines to cheer Eddie on.

[babsaros]

they talk about testosterone gel like it’s the fentanyl of hrt

[snafubravado]

started watching drawtectives and i like him a normal and regular amount. and i am looking. respectfully

[kimi-co]

Antonelli and his dad have a SPECIAL bond:

"F2 silverstone, Kimi crashed out and came into the garage, where his dad was sitting there, watching the race on this tiny little TV. And Kimi just went and sat on his dad's lap, and they started eating Pringles together."

[thelesbododo]

I love the drunk Aku headcanons where he is clinging to atsushi at all times, so let me propose another headcanon:

Drunk sarcastic Atsushi

[your-stranger-halfblood-things]

Stu cuddling Billy like he's a giant teddy bear and Billy just letting him because he wants to feel loved

[iinryer]

on all levels except physical i am still here

[alienoresimagines]

*At the Officer's club*

Bucky: Let’s sit back and judge people.

Buck: Okay.

Bucky: And kiss every time someone pets Meatball.

Buck: Ev-

Buck: Every time someone pets.

Buck: Meatball.

Bucky : Benny counts double.

[hiimtheproblem87times]

Who knew its Canon that Agent can Serve his Boss AND Cunt at the Same time lmfao

Reactions & Responses are in the tags 👍