#slfhrm

[stuck-in-8th-grade]

pro sh tip for all my tit havers out there

cvtting on my chest area is one of the best locations tbh

bonus points if you’re dysphoric abt it

[lucylin333]

Would anyone even notice if I were to just disappear? I don’t think anyone would and am getting tired of hanging on day after day after week after month after year with no relief. I’m just tired

[ithinkiforgottotakexanax]

[toul3t]

Can there ever be a fuckin day where i don’t wanna gut myself?

[blueangel-love]

tw sh!!!!

yk i figured out as a master procrastinator and someone who’s now 500 days clean from sh, my only piece of advice is make excuses to not do it

its just ‘im too tired’ or ‘cleaning up is too much of a pain in the ass right now.’

and then its a little later and its now ‘well… a thing is coming up and i cant be bothered with any weird looks or questions’

and a bit later on its become ‘i dont want my fresh “scars” to draw away from my outfit/ makeup’

and slowly its realising ‘ive gone so long without this addiction, i shouldnt give in now’

and finally its not on your mind as often, if at all and you can start really beginning to heal and close that chapter.

a little backstory abt me if you wanna know (proceed with caution):

tw: slf hrm, s/a, d/v, substance abse, psychosis, disordered eating

i started at 12 and it was primarily scratching lines into my arms and legs until i bled. i didnt have access to razors or anything like that and began using my keys, scissors, anything that coukd draw blood. i hid this until i was about 14, when my mom finally saw and freaked. i was not at all supported by my parents (who got so angry they made me cling to my addiction for comfort). my bf at the time was abusive both mentally and physically before starting to sh himself as a form of blackmail.

later on, when i was 16, my mom began bribing me for every month i went without sh. at this point i was only doing it on my thighs and lower arms. i finally made some progress and almost made it to a year before relapsing severely due to my ex-bffs mental decline. we consistently triggered each other and she grew to become a terrible friend.

many things happened during that time that i cant speak about but it came to a head when she s/a-ed me.

that story is long and complicated and im not yet willing to share many details.

my long distance bf broke up with me soon after as i spiraled into alcohol abuse and a psychotic episode. i spent my 18th bday alone in lockdown with my parents. i was constantly drinking 24/7 (even at school in between lockdowns) and sh-ing almost as often. i had progressed to using my chest and stomach as i ran out of space. my ed

i finally had a reality check during a magic mushie trip and actually began to make progress towards getting better. i slowly began to drink less and have longer stretches of time between relapses.

my nana was diagnosed with terminal lung cancer and i had several more relapses that year (2022) before i finally began utilising my procrastination for good and have now been officially 500 days sh free.

thnx for reading (if u did) and i hope you realise that you arent alone and things do get better. sometimes it takes a while but take like minute by minute if you have to.

[viviennesays]

tw !!!//////

i’ve been clean for almost a year until last month when my attempts happened!!!!! i was so disappointed!!!! all i could use was the thing that cuts the floss off in the box, it was somehow decently deep but now that’s all i have to use because!!!!! all of my tools got thrown away!!!! my lovely collection!!! all gone ! and now i have long nails so that itty bitty floss thingo will not do!!!! i am excited to be able to go out on my own and head to the dollar store to buy my 1st eva boxcvtter and bleed out in the bathroom on my first day of work on monday 💗

[h0wt0neverst0pbeingsad]

[endorphinmybeloved]

Me when my fp leaves

(they did not respond my message I sent at 4:12 am)

[stuck-in-8th-grade]

tw ////

anyone else have to like. work their way up to a deeper cvt in a /// shesh? like i always start with babies to see how sharp the item is, then go de3per? maybe its just me? i also refuuse to go deeper than styr0s bc my immune system is shot lol.

[lucylin333]

Whoops! I always forget to be careful when using a new bl@de! Time to pull out all the extra gauze and hope I don’t bl33d through my clothes again. At least I feel valid with these new stripes on my skin though

[cockzer00]

Tw Just makeupp

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Some baby ones

[feathergirlbella]

I need y’all to tell me, I have no idea.

[toul3t]

Wish I wasn’t a fucking p*ssy,

Just shove my fingers down my throat already.

[sh-culture-is]

Sh culture is not being able to stop once you hit styros and now you want to keep going further and further, and that it's scaring you.

(but seriously I don't think I can stop and I just keep going deeper and I'm kinda afraid of myself now)

.

[h0wt0neverst0pbeingsad]

😘

[cvtsandcvpcakes]

Babycvts🖤❤️🖤❤️

TW!!!!

TW again