#snap lottie

[macaulaytwins]

they are all patron saints TO ME

[aj-lenoire]

honestly i was expecting laura lee to be the first to snap, but goddamn she was genuinely nice and sweet right up til the end and honestly i’m a little relieved she died before all the cannibalism started

[dreamings-free]

Lottie shared 28 Clothing’s instagram post to her stories 4/1/24

[babisawyer]

I would assume that misty is going to kill and eat showtunes so I want to forgive her for everything, but since it seems like she just became showtunes 2.0 I simply cannot.

[mickey-milkovichs]

GIRL HUH?

[greatunironic]

eddie wakes up in a strange room. this was not particularly unusual for him, historically: he’d spent most of his twenties waking up in new and interesting places (including a handful of jail cells). but after eddie, the label, and the los angeles superior court system decided it would be best if he stopped drinking and doing blow, it stopped being such a regular occurrence.

so it’s almost alarming to him, now, to be blinking up at an unfamiliar cement ceiling with the raging bitch of all headaches and generally feeling like he got hit by a truck, got whiplash in a crash with the way his neck aches. he’d think he was hungover like all those times before except for how sharp the pain is, bright.

he worries, briefly, he’s relapsed, or someone’s slipped him something. but he remembers what him and the boys had been up to, before this, and he thinks it’d’ve been a strange night indeed if someone roofied a c-list (b-list if he’s feeling charitable) musician at a fucking frozen four game.

because yeah, eddie remembers: they’d been third row, watching the wisconsin ladies clean up and cheering for jeff’s kid sister like she was about to get olympic gold. (she probably would, someday. her and that mayfield girl who played defense were looking down the barrel at a 2026 run apparently.

eddie’s been to a handful of games over the years, when touring and recording allows them to go. he’s resolutely never been a sports guy but he’ll admit, when pressed, that live hockey is pretty dope. to say nothing, of course, of how jeff would probably murder them all in their sleep if they didn’t rep the red and white for lottie.

(and also — and this is between eddie and his god alright — but lottie’s coach? standing back there in his suit, hair styled and dialed, snapping his gum, yelling at the refs? kind of doing it for him, okay. worth the price of admission, even if the tickets weren’t free.)

when he thinks harder — which hurts too — the last thing he clearly remembers was someone from the beavers scoring, bringing their lead to 5-1, and a slapshot from the other team getting out over the boards and nearly taking out some lady’s popcorn. someone behind them in the seats said, “jesus they’re getting desperate, eh?”

then shit goes dark on him, not even a fade to black, but a full on smash cut, roll credits black, and the post-credits scene is where ever the fuck eddie is at the moment. it smells like human and cold and icy hot, so obviously, he thinks, he died and went to hell like all the church ladies said he would back in hawkins, or probably just a locker room. what the fuck?

he blinks at the ceiling, at an interesting water stain on the cement texturing. he’s in the middle of wondering where the rest of his band has gone if he’s here alone, fucking abandoners, when a sweaty redhead with the bitchiest expression he’s maybe ever seen enters his field of vision.

“you’re alive,” she says.

eddie blinks again. “why do you sound so disappointed?”

“yo coach!” she shouts, already on the move away from him. “he’s alive!”

he tries to sit up, but that makes the pain in his head worse, and also draws attention to the fact that his back also hurts. he squeezes his eyes shut and makes a truly embarrassing noise of pain — if pressed, he’d call it a whimper — and a pair of big hands land on his shoulders.

“out, out ladies i got this! hey!, hey, man, don’t move just yet,” says big hands.

“yeah, no problem, i don’t want to anymore,” eddie says. he stirs up the will to open his eyes again and very nearly slams them back shut. because of course the person staring down at him is fucking coach hottie snackycakes himself. he’s even better looking in person, too, big droopy eyes, lips as pink as his bubblegum, and shiny, jesus christ. he’s still got eddie by the shoulders, hands warm through the thin cotton of his flannel and tee — because eddie’s always been more fashion than sense, wayne always said, and it’s even worse now that the paps are on him—

“oh, fuck this is gonna be all over tiktok later, isn’t it?” he moans.

“maybe not.”

“don’t lie.”

“listen, eddie — it is eddie, right?” asks coach hottie. “i’m steve. coach harrington. faughnsie — lottie, i mean — she said you’re eddie. her brother’s guitarist? what do you remember?”

“more like he’s my singer,” he says, “but sure. and not much.”

“well, you’re gonna be okay,” says coach hottie — steve. “it really wasn’t that bad, and it was probably too fast for anyone to get it, unless they already had a camera on you. you took a puck to the head when one popped up. i’d apologize but it wasn’t one of my girls who did it, so. anyway — you weren’t out for long, which robbie says is good — she’ll get a look at you in a second — but you got your bell rung pretty good. and you’re gonna have quite the shiner, trust me.”

“speaking from experience?”

“oh, yeah. closer and faster too.” he gently raps his head with his knuckles. “too many concussions too early ended my nhl days, in fact.”

“oh. oh shit, sorry, i—“

“don’t worry about it, man, it happens,” he says. “and if it hadn’t, i wouldn’t be here.”

“at the frozen four.”

“yeah, sure, that too.”

“what?”

“what?” steve waves him off. “anyway, i’m just glad to see you up, ish, and talking. looked pretty scary, from the bench.”

“i really don’t remember,” says eddie. “but i’m sure i’ll see it on tiktok later, like i said — at least, my unconscious, bleeding form.”

“i got up there pretty fast, so i doubt it,” says steve.

eddie blinks, twice. “you—?”

“you were behind my bench, and you. well,” he says with a shrug, but he’s clearly a little embarrassed, finally putting those hands away — weapons of eddie destruction, he thinks — and shoving them into his pockets of his tight slacks. “i should be getting back out there.”

“do you? you’re murdering them pretty good, unless i black out and missed them getting four more goals,” eddie says.

the corners of steve’s eyes crinkle when he smiles. eddie thinks he might just pass out again. “no, we’re still gonna cinch it, i think. looks bad, though — first time coach missing the final period so’s he can hit on the cute musician who got his clock cleaned by the biscuit.”

“oh,” he says. swallows. “uh.”

steve’s crinkly, smiley eyes go wide. “unless—“

“no less!” eddie shouts and then immediately winces. at a better, less damaging to his more than slightly concussed noggin, volume, he says, “more, actually. because pretty sure i shouldn’t be left unsupervised, and i’ve clearly been abandoned by the band, so—“

“so,” says steve.

“coach, two minutes!” someone calls.

“so, i was hoping maybe i could keep hitting on the hot hockey coach back at his?”

“i’m at the ramada inn,” he says, “and i got tape to watch for the finals.”

“i live for room service,” eddie tells him seriously. “and i’m suddenly very into wisconsin sports teams.”

“coach! go time!”

“yeah?” he asks.

“yeah.”

“COACH!”

he jerks a thumb over his shoulder. “i gotta — but, uh, later?”

“pick me up in twenty?”

“probably more like half an hour, with stoppage,” he says.

someone bangs on the door. “COACH!! let’s boogie!!”

with one last look, wide eyed and smiling, steve leaves. eddie watches him go. he’d heard hockey players were caked up but lord — eddie is about to convert to a new religion, or maybe found one, over the stretch of those slacks.

“damn,” he says quietly.

“gross,” a woman says. eddie startles and looks to the side, where a lanky brunette with a bob and an undercut is staring at him, unimpressed. she’s in some get up that screams athletic trainer, and there’s a white board in her hand.

“how long have you been there?” he asks.

she raises an eyebrow. “long enough, and honestly, i don’t know if that counts as a you rule for him, or a you suck for you,” she says and does not elaborate when he asks. “also don’t look at him like that. it’s steve. he’s basically my sister.”

“yeah? any tips then?” asks eddie. “i promise i’ll only use them for good. well. mostly.”

“god,” she says with an expansive eye roll. “you’re gonna be a nightmare, aren’t you?”

a cheer goes up outside the room as the teams, presumably, take the ice again. eddie, head throbbing, concussed, embarrassed, grins. “sure hope so,” he says.

[lottiies]

lottie what kinks do u think Leon has lawl 😝

cw: x fem!reader hehe, 400+ wc

i totally didn’t write this during a party what…</3 sorry for any typos cora um i only did it for ID, vendetta, and DI Leon

INFINITE DARKNESS

Okay I can see him coming home with multiple bags of lingerie for his lover, letting you put on a mini fashion show for him. Do a little twirl for him, he’ll have to readjust the bulge in his pants before reaching for you and telling you how fucking pretty you are.

“There’s my perfect girl…so beautiful.” His hands caress your sides, his pupils dilating as he admires you up closely.

Um…he’d be into some light impact play.

Leon would stay fully clothed and put you across his lap, spanking you and massaging your ass to feel how hot your skin gets from his smacks. Pushing your lacy panties to the side to finger you, he’d coo over how wet you get from being spanked. He wouldn’t even have to fuck you or anything, he’d be satisfied just from feeling you jolt around on his lap and feel a high from how speechless you get from having only two of his fingers curling inside you

VENDETTA

His mental state is crumbling and he feels like all his choices are wrong, so I think he’d get turned on by being controlled in bed. Wrap your hands around his neck and cut off his breathing for a couple seconds while you make out and he’ll get rock hard in an instant, begging for you to do it again and again (but his begs sound more like demands honestly.) Um, aside from breath play I think he’d also be a fan of having his orgasms controlled too! Lazy days where you’re stroking his dick until he’s trembling and bucking his hips up into your touch, only to let go as soon as his grunts turn into pathetic moans.

“Fuuuuck, nonono…please.” He’d splutter out while trembling, looking down at the way thin strings of his precum snapped from your palms when you pulled away. “You’re so fucking mean….”

Kiss his sweaty forehead a couple times and he’d forgive you, though. And then his stomach would tense when you wrap your hand around him again to start the process over.

Also! Praise him and he’ll get all emotional. Like…what do you mean he’s doing good? He feels like he doesn’t deserve anything nice so ugh he’ll get sensitive so easily when you compliment him.

DEATH ISLAND

I think we can all collectively agree that he would have a breeding kink at this point in his life >ᴗ< He’s not getting any younger, so sex now has a purpose beyond just connecting with another soul and chasing pleasure together. So yeah he’d have you on your back day and night, stuffing you full as long as you’ll have him. And he’ll plug you up with his fingers after cumming in you so “it takes” (his words) and he’ll get all smiley when you whine and twitch from the aftermath.

Body worship would definitely be high on his list too, both receiving and giving. He’d kiss and caress you all over until no part is left untouched, and honestly dating him in the long run would leave you less susceptible to insecurities because he’s always whispering words of worship to you. He never gets used to the electrifying sensation when you return the favor and plant your lips against his happy trail and inner thighs.

[rafecameronssl4t]

Omg god can you please do a forced marriage au. Where reader is being weirdly clingy(Ik it doesn’t really fit her vibe) and rafe’s weirded out. And she kisses him unexpectedly and he’s so confused.

Drunk kisses || Rafe Cameron x fem!reader

A/n: fluffy fic which ik all of you have been wanting in this au so u are welcome ;)

Warnings: none really just fluff

Word count: 2,380

MASTERLIST (forced marriage au masterlist)

divider by @h-aewo

Rafe barely glanced up from his laptop when the front doorbell rang. The sharp sound cut through the quiet of the house, but he quickly resumed typing, thinking nothing of it at first. It rang again, more insistently this time, drawing his attention. He frowned, closing his laptop and glancing toward the hallway.

"Anita?" he called out, expecting the familiar shuffle of the housekeeper’s footsteps. But silence greeted him in return. He checked his watch—it was past midnight. Of course, everyone had gone home by now.

With a frustrated sigh, Rafe stood and headed toward the foyer, the steady ringing making him wonder who could possibly be at their door at such an ungodly hour. He glanced at the small display screen by the entrance, his brow furrowing at the sight of you. You were slumped against your sister, who looked like she was struggling to hold you upright. Rafe’s confusion deepened as he swung open the door.

Before he could say anything, you staggered forward, collapsing right into his arms. Charlotte let out a startled gasp, covering her mouth in shock as Rafe instinctively caught you, his hands gripping your waist to steady you. "Jesus," he muttered under his breath, trying to process what was happening. You looked up at him with a lazy, drunken smile, the scent of alcohol heavy on your breath.

The sight of you—usually so composed and poised—now giggling like a carefree girl was jarring. “Oh, look, Lottie! It’s my husband. My gorgeous husb—” you slurred, a soft giggle escaping your lips as you tried to blow a strand of hair away from your face. But before you could finish, Rafe cut you off, his annoyance already simmering beneath the surface.

"How much did you let her drink?" he snapped, turning his icy blue gaze toward Charlotte. There was disbelief in his voice, a hint of something protective and yet frustrated. You had been out of control before, but never like this. “I—I tried,” Charlotte stammered, her face flushed with guilt. “I gave her something else—”

“What? More alcohol?” Rafe’s tone was sharp, and Charlotte flinched under his harsh words. He couldn’t believe it. You were usually guarded, careful—this wasn’t like you at all. Rafe glanced down at you again, a mixture of irritation and concern flashing across his face as you leaned further into him, still smiling like the world was spinning too slowly for you.

"We're supposed to have breakfast with your parents tomorrow," he muttered, more to himself than to you. His jaw clenched, the thought of having to face them with you like this filling him with dread. As much as he loathed the idea of those formal meals, they mattered in your world—the perfect image you were both supposed to maintain.

Rafe struggled to keep you upright, your legs barely cooperating as you leaned heavily against him, still giggling softly. His frustration flared again, and he shot a sharp glance at Charlotte, who stood frozen in the doorway, wringing her hands nervously. “How the hell did this even happen?” he demanded, his voice low but dangerous.

Charlotte hesitated, shifting her weight from foot to foot. “She… she just kept ordering more drinks. I tried to stop her, I swear, but she insisted. And, well, you know how stubborn she can get.” Rafe let out a bitter laugh. "Yeah, I know." He looked down at you as you murmured something incoherent, your fingers toying with the collar of his shirt.

"And you didn’t think to call me? Or at least cut her off?” “I—” Charlotte started but quickly swallowed her words when Rafe’s icy gaze met hers again. "I thought she'd sober up. I didn’t want to make a scene… and she kept saying she was fine." "Clearly, she’s not fine," Rafe snapped, his tone sharp as he adjusted his grip on you, trying to stop you from slipping further down his side.

“You should’ve stopped her. God, Charlotte, you know we have that damn breakfast tomorrow.” Charlotte’s eyes widened as if realising the gravity of the situation all over again. “I’m sorry, Rafe. I really didn’t mean for it to get this out of hand…” Rafe clenched his jaw, his patience thinning with each passing second. “Well, it did. And now I have to deal with this.” He shook his head, his grip tightening slightly on your waist as he hoisted you up a little higher.

“Mmm… Rafe," you mumbled softly, your head lolling against his chest. “You're always so serious.” Your words slurred together, and you let out another soft laugh, as if this entire situation was some kind of joke. Rafe's brow furrowed, his annoyance tempered for a moment by the sight of you so completely out of character. He wasn’t used to seeing you like this—carefree, uninhibited, and honestly, it unnerved him.

“You should go home, Charlotte,” Rafe finally said, his voice quieter now but still holding that authoritative edge. “I’ll take care of her.” Your sister looked hesitant, her eyes flicking between you and Rafe. "Are you sure? I can help—" "No, just go. You've done enough." His tone left no room for argument, and Charlotte sighed in defeat, giving him a small nod before stepping back toward the door.

“I really am sorry,” she murmured softly, her voice laced with guilt. She cast one last glance at you, who was now resting your head against Rafe’s chest, your arms loosely draped around his neck. Rafe didn’t respond, his attention now fully on you as Charlotte finally made her exit.

The front door closed behind her with a soft click, leaving the two of you alone in the dimly lit foyer. You stirred in his arms, blinking up at him with bleary eyes, the remnants of your smile still lingering. “You always look so serious, Rafe,” you whispered, your words thick with exhaustion. “Why can’t you just… relax?” Rafe sighed deeply, his frustration mixing with an odd sense of helplessness.

He wasn’t used to feeling like this—torn between annoyance and something else he couldn’t quite place. "Because someone has to be," he muttered, more to himself than to you. You giggled again, leaning your forehead against his chest. “Maybe I should be serious too, then. Like you. So we can both be… boring together.” You laughed softly at your own words, your fingers tracing absentminded circles on his chest.

Rafe’s lips twitched again, the ghost of a smile threatening to break through his usually stoic expression. You were a mess, slurring your words and giggling like a child, but in the soft, dim glow of the foyer, you looked undeniably beautiful. Strands of hair framed your face in a way that made you seem even more delicate, your skin glowing faintly under the soft lighting.

For a fleeting moment, he found himself captivated by how vulnerable and unguarded you appeared—so different from the strong-willed woman he was used to. But he quickly shook the thought away, forcing himself to stay focused. This was not the time to get caught up in sentiment. “You’re drunk,” he repeated, his voice firmer this time, though still touched with that same gentleness that had snuck in earlier.

“Come on, let’s get you to bed before you say something else you’ll regret.” His eyes lingered on your face, watching as your expression shifted from amusement to a peaceful kind of daze. The way you leaned further into him, trusting him completely in your intoxicated state, stirred something unexpected within him—an unfamiliar blend of protectiveness and tenderness.

It unsettled him, but he pushed it aside, convincing himself it was just the responsibility of the moment. You hummed softly, your eyes fluttering closed, a contented sigh slipping past your lips. “Mmm… my gorgeous husband, taking care of me,” you teased, your voice barely above a whisper but carrying a playful edge that made Rafe’s heart beat a little faster.

Even drunk, you were still testing him, still finding a way to get under his skin. He rolled his eyes, though there was no real malice behind it. “Yeah, yeah, I’m your gorgeous husband,” he muttered, half-exasperated, half-amused as he tightened his grip on you, making sure you were secure in his arms. “Let’s just focus on getting you upstairs in one piece.”

You chuckled softly, your head resting more comfortably against his chest, your breath warm against the fabric of his shirt. “Always so serious…” you mumbled, your voice trailing off as sleep began to claim you. Rafe glanced down at you again, shaking his head slightly. Even in this state, you still managed to get to him. He started moving toward the stairs, his steps careful as he balanced your weight against his own.

Rafe opened the door to your shared room, his movements steady as he guided you into the closet. “Here, you should get changed into something more comfortable,” he murmured, opening a drawer and pulling out one of his shirts—a soft, oversized one you often stole when you didn’t want to bother with your own clothes. He handed it to you, watching as your tired gaze shifted toward the shirt before flickering back to him.

“Can… can you help me take my dress off?” you muttered, barely audible, your voice tinged with exhaustion and the alcohol that still clouded your thoughts. You gave him those wide, pleading doe eyes that always managed to catch him off guard. Rafe inhaled sharply but quickly nodded. He’d seen you like this before—unguarded, your skin bare, but it never failed to stir something in him.

It wasn’t the sight of your skin that unsettled him; he was used to that. Over time, in this strange forced marriage, he’d grown accustomed to the intimacy of shared space, of your body in close proximity. It was the trust you displayed, the way you asked for his help now, that threw him off balance. You turned around, shifting your hair to one side, exposing the zipper of your dress.

Rafe reached for it, fingers grazing your back as he slowly pulled the zipper down, the fabric sliding easily off your shoulders. His eyes briefly flickered to the dress, a slight frown on his face—it was shorter than he liked, something he wasn’t thrilled about you wearing out. But now, as you stepped out of it, all he could think about was how fragile you looked.

You grabbed the shirt from his hands and pulled it over your head, the soft cotton falling past your thighs as you kicked off your heels with a relieved sigh. Rafe watched you for a moment longer before quietly guiding you toward the bathroom. He rummaged through the drawer, pulling out your toothbrush and squeezing toothpaste onto it before handing it to you. You brushed your teeth lazily, your movements growing slower as your eyelids drooped, exhaustion settling in.

Rafe stood by, waiting until you were done before helping you back to the bed. Just as your body sank into the soft sheets, ready to drift off into sleep, he lightly patted your cheek, keeping you from completely fading. "Uh-uh, gotta get that makeup off, or you'll throw a fit tomorrow morning," Rafe teased, reaching for the wipes on your vanity. You groaned in protest, your voice muffled against the pillow. “I won’t.”

“Yes, you will,” Rafe retorted, walking back over and sitting on the edge of the bed. He began gently wiping the makeup from your face, his touch careful and methodical. He had done this before, knew the routine, and though the task was mundane, there was an unspoken closeness in these moments that neither of you ever acknowledged.

He returned to the bed, sitting beside you as he carefully wiped away the layers of makeup. His touch was gentle, more considerate than you expected, his brow furrowed in concentration as he made sure to remove every trace. You gazed up at him through heavy lids, feeling the warmth of his hand against your skin and the softness of his gestures.

When he was done, he moved to pull away, but your fingers curled around his wrist, stopping him. Rafe looked at you, confusion briefly crossing his face, but the intensity in your gaze softened him. "Thank you," you whispered, your voice tender, vulnerable in a way it rarely was. Your eyes drifted to his lips, your heart picking up speed as the moment stretched between you.

Rafe swallowed, his Adam’s apple bobbing slightly as he nodded, his voice hushed. “Of course.” Without another word, you gently pulled him closer, closing the space between you. Your lips met his in a slow, tentative kiss—an action that felt more like a quiet confession than anything else. Rafe stiffened at first, but then his lips moved against yours, soft yet firm, as though the weight of the night had brought you both to this point.

But he pulled back after a moment, his eyes searching yours for something he wasn’t even sure of. “Get some sleep,” he whispered, pulling the sheets up to tuck you in. He pressed a gentle kiss to your forehead, his lips lingering just a second longer than usual before he stood, leaving the room without another glance.

—

The next morning, sunlight filtered through the curtains as you slowly lifted your head from the pillow, a dull throb of pain radiating through your temples. You winced, squinting against the brightness as the events of the previous night came flooding back—Charlotte, the drinks, Rafe helping you to bed, and… the kiss.

You stirred slightly, feeling the sheets move beside you. Glancing over, you saw Rafe’s sleeping form, his features relaxed. He lay facing you, still half-asleep, though he must have sensed your movement because he mumbled groggily, “On your bedside table.”

You turned, spotting the glass of water and the medicine waiting for you. A small smile tugged at your lips despite the pounding in your head. Even when his words were rough, his actions showed a softness you were beginning to see more often.

You reached for the water and pills, the gesture not lost on you. As you downed the water, you couldn’t help but glance back at him, wondering if, beneath all the tension and complications between you, something deeper had started to bloom.

[daisyblog]

Give Me My Money

Our Story Masterlist Summary: YN and her sisters do the “Give Me My Money’ prank on Harry.

Lottie, Daisy, Phoebe, YN and Harry stood in a semi-circle. Whilst YN was able to keep a poker face, her sister ls found it harder as their grins threatened to show.

“Give me my mooooney!”. Lottie went first, holding her hand out and pinching her fingers together, as part of the trend.

“YAAAAAY!”. They all jumped up and down, clapping their hands as they cheered.

Daisy’s turn was next. “Give me my moooney!”. She sassed at the camera, doing a little jig before stepping back.

Again, they all jumped up and down, clapping their hands as they cheered.

“Give me my money!”. Phoebe spoke, covering her mouth afterwards to hide her laugh.

“YAAAAAY!”. They cheered.

YN stepped forward slightly. “Give me my mooooneeeeey!”. She spoke with sass, snapping her fingers in a box shape.

“YAAAAAAY!”.

As much as YN was expecting Harry to say his in a monotone voice, she was pleasantly surprised when he matched their energy. “Give me my mooooneeeeey!”.

He wore a proud smile, as he stepped back. “YAAA/”. Harry stopped himself when he noticed his wife and sisters in law staring back at him with a blank face. “What? Did I do it wrong?”.

The four women burst into hysterical laughter at the success of the prank. It didn’t take long for Harry to realise that they had fooled him and it was all planned.

“Oh fuck off!”. Harry jokingly said with a large grin as he walked out of view.

Tag List:

@pansexualwitchwhoneedstherapy @harrys-flower @platinumbarbie143 @frickin-bats@harrysbbyh0ney @chronicallybubbly @goldensunflowe-r  @walkingintheheartbreaksatellite@kaverichauhan @peterholland04 @panicattheuc @or-was-it-just-a-dream @hittiesontour@bunnyharold @fanfictioncafe @lilfreakjez @iamahallucinationnn @theekyliepage @indierockgirrl@buckybarnessimpp @ashleighsss @jerseygirlinca @fake-coolbeans @itsmytimetoodream@treehouse-mouse @mrs-anna-styles211994 @macy-tpwk

[louisupdates]

INTERVIEW: Lottie Tomlinson: we lost our mum and sister. Louis saved me

At the age of 20, the sister of One Direction singer Louis had already lost her mother, Johannah, and sister Félicité. Now 25, the social media star has written a book about how they coped

Alice Thomson | Tuesday July 23 2024, 5.00pm BST, The Times

Losing Mum was so hard. I was only a teenager but at least I knew that her death was a possibility, even though she didn’t accept it. She was 47 and had cancer. But when my sister died three years later, I was on this hotel balcony in Bali and I was screaming, ‘No, my baby sister, no.’ The pain was indescribable. I kept thinking, ‘Why me? This can’t be happening again. When is this going to end?’ ”

We are sitting on Lottie Tomlinson’s immaculate white sofa in her pristine white house in Chislehurst, southeast London, where she is curled up in tiny shorts with a perfect tan and impeccably applied make-up. But her French manicured nails are digging so hard into the sofa I think they might snap, the heart tattoo on her minuscule wrist is throbbing and her eyelashes are clogged with tears.

Her life sounds blessed. The influencer has 4.8 million Instagram followers waiting for her to dispense advice on how to apply mascara; the fake tan brand, Tanologist, that she launched at 19 has gone global; and she has a devoted fiancé, Lewis Burton, who runs a luxury concierge business and whose former girlfriend was the late Caroline Flack. They have an adorable son called Lucky, who is dripping ice cream on her marble counters. Her new book is also called Lucky Girl; her older brother is Louis Tomlinson of One Direction and she was touring the world with the band as a make-up artist at 16.

But after her mother died when she was 18, Tomlinson was left looking after her younger sister and two sets of twin siblings, aged eight and two, while creating her businesses, and trying to process her grief. Her father had left their home in Doncaster years before after a battle with alcohol. “Dad had a drinking problem. We’d see glimpses of his good side but he let us down,” she says. “I ended up trying to take care of him rather than the other way round.”

When her mother died, life felt bleak, “I lost the one person who loved me unconditionally, and then when my sister Fizz [Félicité] died of an accidental overdose, I thought I could never be happy again,” she says. “I found the lead-up to Mother’s Day devastating without my sister as well. It was a constant reminder that I was now different from my friends. In my dreams, my mum was still there; she was alive. I woke up feeling comforted, only to realise that she’d gone.”

Tomlinson, who is now 25 and a patron of the bereavement charity Sue Ryder, moves easily between telling you how to apply the best tan and how to talk about death. She cares passionately about both subjects and takes them equally seriously, worried that I’ve never tried a bronzer or used foundation before asking how I coped when my mother died during the pandemic. Her soft Yorkshire accent is both reassuring and no-nonsense.

Born near Doncaster, she was only two when Fizz was born and six when the first twins arrived. “I’ve always been the big sister — Fizz and I each got one and then more twins six years later.” While Louis had his own space, the girls all shared one room with bunk beds. “It was chaos, but my mum, Johannah, was a midwife and loved being pregnant and having so many babies,” she explains. “I used to be in awe of the way she could feed the twins at once, one on each hip. She would do the night shifts, while I held the fort at home.”

Within a few years, Tomlinson would be touring America, Asia and Europe, flying first class with Louis, part of the biggest boy band in the world, but until she was 15, the family had only ever gone to France once a year all packed into a seven-seater car, with her mother’s new partner, snacks laid out in the middle. They stayed in a caravan park. On a Sunday, a treat was to go to their mother’s hospital to see the babies.

While Louis just wanted to sing, play the guitar and listen to Oasis, the girls were obsessed with make-up. “From the age of 12, I struggled academically, but I loved cropped clothes and my mum’s highlighters and mascaras.” She learnt how to apply everything from YouTube tutorials, rather than doing algebra. “We didn’t have much money — we sometimes couldn’t afford to top up the electricity meter so used candles — but everything my mum earned she spent on us. We all looked immaculate — I remember her being horrified when I dyed my hair orange. So it was lovely later when we could treat her.”

Saturday nights were spent watching The X Factor. “My mother and brother kept applying; in 2010, he got in and the whole family went for the audition. We believed in him, but we never thought it would go that far.” One day the family were going to the live shows, the next the boy band was formed with Harry Styles, Zayn Malik, Niall Horan and Liam Payne. “He was 18. For my mum it was a big shock. It was all so sudden. The press and fans were in our front garden every day.”

The older twins had already made their first TV appearances — they sound like Doncaster’s Von Trapps. “My mother was gently pushy,” Tomlinson says, smiling at the thought. “When I didn’t get good enough GCSEs to stay at school, she sent me off to join Louis on tour as work experience. I was so scared. I remember her ringing up Lou [Teasdale], their hair and make-up artist, and saying, ‘Lottie has not got through to sixth form; she’s going to come and assist you.’ I was in the car going, ‘No, please don’t.’ But it ended up being the best thing that happened to me. I went for a week and stayed two years. Lou and I are still so close.”

Suddenly, the two eldest Tomlinson children were circling the world, eating room service and ducking the paparazzi hanging out of helicopters taking snaps. “At first Louis didn’t really want his little sister gate crashing his new rock-star life, but now it feels like the best time of our lives — we experienced that craziness together,” she says.

The teenage Tomlinson found it harder to cope with being photographed wherever she went. “I had some puppy fat which made me very self-aware, and the filler culture was coming in and I felt I had to look perfect.” She had her lips done first at 17. “Then I became addicted: cheek filler, jaw filler, more make-up, blonder hair, slimmer and more tanned. My mum thought I looked perfect, but I was always searching.”

Five years later, when she became pregnant with Lucky and her lips started to swell and crack, she realised she didn’t need the enhancements any more. “I had everything removed, the false eyelashes too. It was liberating.” She kept her boob job, however. “That was just enhancement,” she says laughing. “The rest radically changed the way I looked. My breasts also got huge when I was pregnant and it was a bit painful. But I still breastfed. I loved carrying my child. I felt fantastic even when I was sick and exhausted.”

She leans forward, wraps her bronzed arms around her stomach and whispers, “I am pregnant again. We don’t know yet if it’s a boy or girl. It’s only 13 weeks, so this is the first time I’ve said it publicly. I think I want a big family. I loved having Lucky but after a year I wanted to give him siblings.”

Tomlinson’s influencer career began once she established herself on tour. Soon everything she did, even dying her roots rainbow-coloured, went viral and fashion companies from Asos to Dior wanted in on it. “I was just going for it. I couldn’t believe the money I was making and spending — money I didn’t know existed as a child.”

Then suddenly her mum came home from holiday with flu. “She didn’t want to get out of bed. The doctors quite quickly told her she had leukaemia and she went straight to London for treatment. It all happened so fast. I remember being in London at work and getting a call from her partner — she couldn’t say the words herself, it was too hard for her.” The family were told it was treatable. “We kept so much hope.”

Her mother asked the family to keep her illness secret. “It was hard because you feel so isolated, but I understood. Louis was in the public eye and she didn’t want him questioned. She was determined to fight it and didn’t want everyone pitying her. My friends noticed I was acting differently for a few months. But I wanted to respect her wishes. It was her one request.”

She also dropped everything to go back to Doncaster to help her grandparents with the twins. “The younger ones were two and I wanted to keep everything as normal as possible. I can’t imagine what my mum was feeling leaving her kids to go to hospital.

“I would take them down and treasure seeing her — we tried to keep it light, no serious conversation. The only way Mum could cope was to keep it normal. Then, when the doctors said the transfusions hadn’t worked, she came home to die.”

Tomlinson tries to sound matter-of-fact. “We went to see her in hospital in Sheffield and the next morning we woke up and were told she had died. We felt numb. We didn’t know what to do with ourselves. Now I am involved with the Sue Ryder charity, I am surprised we were offered no support or counselling at all, from the GP, the teachers, the professionals. They all kept away.” Her nan and grandad picked up the pieces.

It’s not surprising she can’t remember the funeral. “I just remember getting really drunk to numb the pain. I couldn’t come to terms with it. I can’t even remember how we organised it. My instinct was to take over as the eldest girl and step into my mum’s shoes so that is what I did.” Meanwhile, her older brother, who was launching his solo career, ensured there was enough money. “He’s incredibly generous. We looked after each other.”

Tomlinson returned to London months later, after her grandmother said she needed to become a role model for her siblings. Her younger sister Fizz worried her most. “She was very academic — she got straight A’s without trying — but she always said she felt different. She was bottling her grief for so long; it was too much and made her turn to other things. I think Mum’s death destroyed her. Only my mum seemed to understand her. If she had been offered some help at the start, things might have been different.”

Meanwhile, Tomlinson’s self-tanning brand was soon being sold in Los Angeles, New York and Australia, while her own fanbase grew; she hardly ever needed to pay for drinks, meals or holidays. However, she finds the term influencer obnoxious. “I don’t want to act like I tell people what to do. I am more of a content creator,” she explains. “I get paid by brands to create content for their clothes or beauty products and promote that to my followers. I also wanted my own business. I was quite aware that, at the end of the day, I was just working with an app. That’s why I started Tanologist with my business partner. I was always using tanning treatments that would end up turning my sheets orange and my face would break out in spots — this is more natural.”

Louis was also forging his career as a solo artist, eventually creating the song Two of Us about his mother’s death. “We were always so proud of Louis and what he was doing. We were not going to match up to being a global superstar, but we didn’t want to — ‘successful’ looks different for everyone,” she says.

But her sister Fizz was slipping and struggling. “She was old enough to do what she wanted at 19; she was partying and taking stuff to numb everything. She did go into rehab but to me it didn’t feel like an addiction problem, but a way to blank out her grief.” When Tomlinson was invited to Bali, she asked Fizz whether she wanted her to stay behind. “She said she was OK, and then it happened while I was away,” she says. (Fizz accidentally overdosed on cocaine, an anxiety drug and painkillers, her inquest found.) “Louis called me…” She stops talking.

The shock of a second death must have been devastating. She doesn’t speak for a minute while she twists her huge diamond engagement ring. “We weren’t mentally prepared,” she eventually says. “I can’t even remember if the two funerals were in the same church. I think grief has affected my memory a lot and that’s quite common. Grief is such a powerful emotion; it takes up a lot of your brain.”

Five years later, she now knows how to remain positive. “I had an amazing mum for 18 years. I have the most amazing family, my little boy and my career, and that is because of her. The same with Fizz — I had an amazing sister. It’s heartbreaking they aren’t with us any more, but they are together and they are looking out for me,” she says, sounding as though she is repeating a mantra.

Having a baby made her feel closer to them both. “He was a boy — it’s funny, he actually looks a lot like Louis did — and I thought, this is what my mother must have felt. But then I had so many questions I couldn’t ask, even more because she was a midwife.”

Her biggest problem was her terror that something terrible would happen to her son. “I became fixated [on the idea that] something bad would happen to him, so I couldn’t sleep. You go to the worst-case scenario, because that’s happened to you twice, to two of the closest people in your life. I couldn’t turn the lights off at night; I needed to see him all the time. Luckily, it calmed down quite quickly.”

We are still flitting between her story and advice on make-up, exercise and clothes.

“I like sharing advice. If a child lost their mother, I would say there is no magic answer. But the point of this book is to show that you can have tragic things happen and still keep going.”

What would the 25-year-old now say to her younger self, struggling at her second funeral at the age of 20? “I would say, ‘You are going to be OK; you will live a nice life.’ I didn’t think I could. I thought this will be a really sad, lonely life without my mum and sister. I wouldn’t have believed then that I could be happy again. But it would have been nice to hear.”

Lucky Girl by Lottie Tomlinson (Bonnier, £22). To order a copy go to timesbookshop.co.uk. Free UK standard P&P on orders over £25. Special discount available for Times+ members

[kaisacobra]

A Little Bird Told Me - Tara Carpenter

Summary: a badly interpreted tweet makes Tara get jealous

Warnings: Fem! Reader, a bit of angst, mentions of yellowjackets characters (Lottie Matthews and Lottienat), curse words

Word Count: 5.3k

"I propose a movie night at Tara's house!"

That catches the attention of the younger Carpenter, making her turn away from the direction of the Blackmore University library to answer Mindy with a teasing smile. "And who said I want you all at my house tonight?"

"You don't have a choice!" Mindy retorts, tossing a fallen leaf from the table they were sitting on towards Tara. "And you definitely want a certain someone to come to your house tonight."

"Yeah, you've been staring at the library door since she went in there." Anika joins her girlfriend in the argument, causing Tara's face to turn even redder.

You had been at the table earlier with Tara, Mindy, Anika, Chad, and Ethan, but a message had arrived on your phone and you hastily headed towards the library, letting your friends know you wouldn't take long. Since you left, the freckled girl couldn't help but look expectantly in that direction, missing your funny comments and calming presence.

It's true that Tara might have had a little crush on you since the beginning of this year, when you patiently and non-judgmentally listened to a long rant that Carpenter had been holding back about everything that had happened in Woodsboro. You had been there too, but you let her say everything she wanted and didn't even mention your own traumas, being more concerned with holding Tara in your arms as she shed the necessary tears. Since that night, she couldn't help but see you in a different light.

"Well, if everyone's up for it, I don't think Sam will mind having you all over." She tried to smoothly change the subject.

"I'm in!" Ethan was the first to confirm, followed by the other three instantly. Tara took the opportunity to take her phone out of her pocket and message Sam, informing her about the plans for later.

"Wow, who's that?" She heard Chad say, but didn't lift her head from her phone, thinking he was talking about some random girl he found attractive. However, Mindy's next sentence made Tara snap her head up so fast she almost got whiplash.

"Ooh, Y/n is in good company!" Mindy teased, and Tara followed her gaze until she spotted you, coming out of the library laughing alongside a girl who was clearly beautiful even from a distance. The dark wavy hair framed her face perfectly, and she was tall like a model. There was no reason for it, but the Carpenter girl suddenly felt intimidated by this new mystery girl.

You continued walking with her towards your friends, and as you got close enough to be seen clearly but not close enough to overhear the conversation, Chad blurted out a comment. "Damn, is that Charlotte Matthews?"

"Fuck! I think it is!" Anika added with excitement. Seeing the huge question mark on Tara's face, she hurriedly explained. "Lottie is on the college women's soccer team, and they're basically unbeatable. She's, like, super popular."

Tara crossed her arms and looked in your direction again, a bitter taste forming in her mouth as she noticed you were still laughing at something the girl had told you. What could possibly be so amusing?

"I didn't know Y/n had rizz like that." Mindy added with a thoughtful expression. "Good for her."

Before Tara could say that there was nothing to indicate you had any interest in Lottie (something she was also trying to convince herself of), you finally reached the table, greeting your friends with a smile. "Hey, guys."

"Hey." Lottie spoke after you, a bit shyly. How dare she be beautiful, tall as a goddess, and yet still have an adorable charm?

Everyone responded, and Tara found herself forcing a smile to hide her conflicting feelings. She sought your gaze, and some of the knot in her stomach unraveled as you locked eyes. "We're having a movie night at my place tonight, do you want to come?"

Your expression twisted into one of sorrowful regret. "Can't, sorry. I'll be tutoring Lottie in organic chemistry, it'll probably take the whole day." Tara realized you were still looking at her, trying to decipher if she was upset about your absence. Ever since movie nights had become a kind of tradition within the group, you had never missed one. This would be the first time you wouldn't be there, and Tara could tell you felt bad about it.

"Don't worry about it!" Mindy waved her hands nonchalantly, then turned to Tara with a teasing smile. "We get that you have bigger priorities, right, Tara?"

You still looked at the girl like a lost puppy, eagerly awaiting her reaction. Tara swallowed a sigh and forced herself to maintain a fake smile to calm her nerves. "Right. It was about time you put that brain of yours to some use."

With the girl's joke, you laughed, visibly becoming less tense as if a weight had been lifted off your shoulders. "Well, I'll see you guys tomorrow. Bye, everyone!" You waved goodbye to everyone at the table, Lottie doing the same out of politeness, and Tara watched bitterly as the two of you walked away side by side, probably heading towards the player's dorm.

"I bet 5 bucks Y/n will show up tomorrow with a massive hickey on her neck." Chad jokes, and the group laughs in response. Tara, being the only one not finding the joke funny, lets out an irritated huff and stands up, slinging her own bag over her shoulder. "Let's get going already, I want to pick the movie."

She starts walking slowly, ignoring Ethan's protests that it's his turn to choose.

The truth was: Tara just didn't want them to see how upset she was about your absence.

_

I want to stab you to death and play around with your blood.

Tara grimaced as she heard the line spoken by Christian Bale through the television, and she could see from the corner of her eye that everyone had shifted uncomfortably, relating the line to the events of the previous year.

Ethan had chosen American Psycho as the movie for the night, and Tara didn't want to protest since you weren't there for her to gauge your reactions to the film she chose. She sighed and glanced at her phone's lock screen again, hoping for a message from you saying that the tutoring had ended early and you were on your way. It never came.

She ran her hands over her face in frustration. The thought of you alone with an annoyingly beautiful girl in her room was enough to make a vein in her temple throb. What if Chad was right? What if tomorrow you showed up with a hickey on your neck, holding hands with Lottie Matthews, strolling across campus like the most beloved couple in America?

Ugh. She pressed her eyes shut to try to banish the image from her mind. When did she let her feelings for you become so... intense? It was almost humiliating to think that Tara Carpenter had gone from the girl who spent most of her time alone to the girl who couldn't stand a few hours without you.

Feeling a strange surge of pride, Tara shook her head and grabbed her phone, opening the front camera. She was having fun and definitely not sinking into miserable thoughts, right? So she had to post a picture to prove that she was perfectly happy! Of course, that had nothing to do with you, and she certainly didn't care if you saw the photo while you were busy doing who knows what with one of the most desired girls at Blackmore.

"Hey, guys! Look here real quick!" Tara alerted, and everyone shuffled to get into the selfie. Sam sat beside her with a restrained smile, Anika and Mindy were wrapped in each other's arms a bit behind the Carpenters, and Chad had an arm around Ethan's shoulders, who responded by making a peace sign with his fingers behind his roommate's head.

Tara snapped the picture and examined the result, mindlessly promising to send it to Anika when the girl asked. The younger Carpenter discreetly zoomed in on her own face, deciding if she looked pretty enough to post it or not. Satisfied, she opened Instagram and uploaded the photo as a story, adding a caption underneath. Great night with these weirdos.

After that, Tara locked her phone, trying to hypnotize herself into believing she wasn't eagerly waiting for your comment. She stared fixedly at the TV, feigning deep interest in Patrick Bateman's actions, as if she hadn't lost focus on the movie within the first twenty minutes.

5 minutes later, her phone buzzed with a notification. You had replied to her story.

Tara almost giggled and kicked her feet because of how quickly you messaged. That had to be a good sign. You wouldn't have replied so fast if you were busy doing something... or someone else. Right?

"Don't have too much fun without me." Your message read. The younger Carpenter bit her lower lip to contain a wider smile on her face.

"Never." She typed, but thought better of it and deleted it, typing out a different response. "I can't promise anything."

You read the message but didn't reply any further, probably returning to your duties as a tutor. Tara didn't complain, as she was already more than satisfied with the quick attention you gave her.

She comfortably leaned back on the couch, where she was seated between Sam and Mindy, the latter gently stroking Anika's hair, who was sitting beside her. The two boys were on the floor engaged in a heated discussion about whether Ethan was an incel or not based on his choice of movie.

Feeling more relaxed, Tara reached over to snatch some popcorn from Sam, earning a light smack and narrowed eyes in retaliation. She offered an innocent smile to her older sister, who simply rolled her eyes and placed the popcorn bucket between them, succumbing to the silent plea.

Tara could almost have forgotten she had been upset. Almost. But then her phone vibrated with another notification.

It was from your Twitter, and from the notification bar, apparently, you had tweeted "hjsuzgabasi."

She frowned, trying to figure out what the hell you were trying to say. Unlocking her phone, Tara quickly opened the Twitter app, searching for your profile so she could reply with something like "???" on your latest post.

But as she was about to comment on your tweet, she noticed the other two you had just posted.

She's soooooo prettyyy😭😭 just one chance please

Her brown eyes omg im so gay

Tara's mood instantly turned sour. Had you just tweeted about Lottie Matthews? I mean, you were with her now, and Tara vividly remembered the girl's big, enchanting brown eyes. Of course, you were tweeting about the gay panic you were probably experiencing in real life.

She sighed and stood up from the couch. "I'm gonna grab some water." Tara mumbled to justify her departure and headed to the kitchen, still holding her phone. Suddenly, the fun atmosphere she had felt for a few minutes had given way to a nauseating feeling churning in her stomach.

She turned the phone over before grabbing a glass, but her eyebrows furrowed when she realized your tweets were no longer there. Holding the device with both hands now, she refreshed your profile again, but the posts had vanished as if they were a mirage. You had probably deleted them to prevent Lottie from seeing, or something like that.

Either way, the tweets had been there, and Tara had firsthand seen your super gay panic as you probably looked at the soccer player. She hated the thought that you might be blushing right now over something Lottie said, giving one of your cute shy smiles as she ran her hand through your hair, eventually trailing down to your neck and pulling you in for...

No! Tara was already torturing herself enough without imagining what you two might be doing. She didn't need another reason to ruin her own night.

So, after downing a glass of water and trying to contain the terrible feeling spreading through her system, Tara returned to the living room dragging her feet, doing her best to force herself to enjoy the rest of the night with her friends.

She definitely wasn't caring about your stupid new crush.

_

"Ugh! If you point out one more mistake of mine, I'm going to bite your arm!" Lottie complained dramatically, leaning back in her swivel chair and turning towards you, avoiding looking at the open notebook with unsolved questions.

You chuckled at her antics. "Let's not resort to cannibalism, okay? I'd rather stay whole if I still have to finish teaching you things."

"Can we at least take a break? My brain is killing me." She didn't even wait for your response and immediately got up, heading towards her own bed and lying down without ceremony. You just shook your head with a smile and stretched your arms, still sitting in the chair. Lottie was right, after all. You both deserved a bit of rest.

Taking advantage of the break, you took your phone out of your bag pocket and quickly checked your notifications, stopping at one that made your heart race and a small smile start to form on your face.

Opening the app, you viewed Tara's story. A photo of everyone in the group (minus Quinn, who was probably at one of her flings' places) gathered in the Carpenter's living room, with happy expressions that must have come from the fun of the movie nights.

You thought for a few seconds before sending a playful response. "Don't have too much fun without me." There was a bit of truth hidden behind those words, considering you felt bad for missing out on this time with your friends, but mostly for not being there with Tara.

It had been a few years since you started developing feelings for the younger Carpenter. You had met in school in Woodsboro and grew closer when you were assigned a literature project together. Since then, Tara introduced you to her other friends and you became a significant part of her life.

She made you feel heard and appreciated, so it didn't take long for you to fall in love and get lost in the sparkle of those brown eyes. But you weren't stupid. Everyone could see that Tara Carpenter only had eyes for Amber Freeman. So you decided to take a step back and act as a good friend to Tara, painfully listening when she talked about her immense love for her girlfriend.

You even thought about moving on from her, but then the "Woodsboro Massacre" happened, you knew you couldn't leave the girl alone during such a vulnerable time. So, despite your head warning you that you would get hurt, you followed your heart and never left Tara's side for a second.

"I can't promise anything." She replied after a while, and you smiled at the familiarity of her classic sense of humor in the message. You exited the chat shortly after, returning to Tara's stories to look at the posted photo once again.

You zoomed in on the familiar face, much like a high school girl stalking her crush, and involuntarily broke into a silly smile. Tara's dark hair was loose, waves cascading over her shoulder. She had a slight smile on her face that allowed you to catch a glimpse of her adorable dimple. The photo quality was good but not enough for you to see the freckles you knew were there, on her cheeks and nose, that you wished you could someday get close enough to count with the tips of your fingers.

With your heart pounding in your chest, you decided you were feeling too many emotions to keep them to yourself. So, like a good contemporary girl, you searched for the Twitter app on your phone and prepared for a gay vent of at least 100 characters.

"Why are you so red?" Lottie asks from her spot on the bed, startling you as you had completely forgotten about her presence.

Wide-eyed, you look at her and try to come up with something. "N-nothing. Must be your imagination."

Clearly, the excuse doesn't work with Lottie, because she breaks into a teasing smile and raises her eyebrows as if she knows all your secrets. "What was it? Did Tara send you a message?"

"Shut up." You release a weak grumble and quickly turn back to your phone, tweeting the first thing that came to your mind upon seeing your best friend's earlier photo. hjsuzgabasi. Poetic.

"Come on! Don't you think it's about time you confess your feelings?" Lottie sits up straight on the bed to better analyze you. "I mean, you talk about her all the time in class. Tara this, Tara that, Tara, Tara, Tara."

"I don't want to ruin our friendship, okay?" You turn to the soccer player before sending out more tweets containing your embarrassing thoughts about the younger Carpenter. She's soooooo prettyyy😭😭 just one chance please. Her brown eyes omg im so gay

Lottie sighs and gets up, walking over to you and placing her hands affectionately on your shoulders. "Look, I might not know her as well, but if she's as good a friend as you describe, she wouldn't stop talking to you over something you can't even control."

"I know. Maybe I'll tell her someday." You speak in a hushed voice but quickly lift your head to look up at the tall girl with a playful expression. "You know, you should take your own advice and just admit you have a crush on a certain Natalie Scatorccio from your soccer team."

Her eyes widen, and she blushes deeply, pushing your swivel chair back slightly as she returns to the bed, not before flipping you off. "Shut up, you fucking loser."

You laugh at that, and Lottie joins in right after. Maybe you two weren't as close as you were with the others in your group (especially Tara), but the time you spent sitting next to each other during those tedious organic chemistry classes was enough to cultivate a great friendship.

Still chuckling a bit, you returned your gaze to your phone, and... your heart dropped into your stomach. Oh no.

"Shit, shit, shit!" You exclaim, rushing to delete the posts as quickly as possible. How could you have gotten so distracted?!

"What's wrong?" Lottie asks, alarmed, watching with a concerned expression as you hurriedly tap on your phone, looking on the verge of a nervous breakdown.

"I tweeted from my main account!" You reply with a mix of embarrassment and nervousness. "I didn't realize I wasn't on my private one, and I tweeted my gay panic about Tara's photo in a place where she can see! What do I do?!"

The taller girl walks over to you again, placing a hand in the space between your shoulders and encouraging you to take a deep breath along with her. "Calm down. Is there anything in the tweet that makes it clear it was about her?"

"Nothing specific... Damn it." You close your eyes and rest your head on the desk for a few seconds. What if Tara had seen the post, and now she's telling Sam how pathetic she thinks you are? Even worse, tonight was movie night! What if Tara had shown the tweets to everyone, and now they were all collectively laughing at you?

You pick up your phone again and open your messages, searching for Anika's contact. She and Mindy (who never let anything slide) were the only ones who had caught on to your crush on Tara and had already tried to advise you to confess your feelings, though they were still keeping the information a secret at your request. Between the two, the least likely to laugh at your current situation was the Kayoko, so you decided to beg her for help.

You

Nik, pls tell me Tara isn't on her phone rn

I may have accidentally posted my gay panic at her photo on twt…

Fashion Icon⭐ (Anika)

WHAT??????????

OMG, you guys are finally gonna date😭

Wait, she's in the kitchen, let me take a look

Oh.

You

Oh????

Wdym oh????

Fashion Icon⭐ (Anika)

She's looking weirdly at her phone

She seems upset

You

Oh.

Fashion Icon⭐ (Anika)

It's probably not with you

You

Forget it

Thx for the help

Lottie still gives you some awkward pats on your back as you turn to her fully, and you know she read everything over your shoulder when she offers a small supportive smile to try and make you feel better. You let Lottie embrace you as you close your eyes, feeling desperate tears threatening to fall.

"She doesn't like me back, does she?" You whisper into the girl's shoulder, and she squeezes you a little tighter in her hold.

"You don't know that. Try talking to her tomorrow, okay?"

Unwilling to utter any sound, you simply nod in agreement, knowing that even though the problem is only for tomorrow, you'll already feel the effects of it today.

_ 

It wasn't a good day for Tara.

The petite girl had tossed and turned in bed all night, unable to close her eyes with some inexplicable anger flooding her body. Every time she allowed herself to relax for a few seconds, the image of you being much closer to Charlotte Matthews than you should have been appeared in her mind like a bitter reminder.

And Tara could be very proud and stubborn, but she wasn't stupid. She knew perfectly well that her sour mood was out of pure jealousy and anger at herself for letting you slip through her fingers. But even though the negative feelings had their origin within herself, Tara still wasn't the best at dealing with her emotions and she knew she was making her bad mood everyone else's problem.

Unfortunately, you didn't know this when you approached her in the hallways of Blackmore University, with an apprehensive expression on your face and your heart in your hand. If Tara noticed your increasingly close presence, she didn't move a muscle to show it, but she moved plenty to walk faster, trying to cross your path without making contact.

"Hey, Tara." You stop her with a hand on her shoulder. This wasn't the best place to talk, considering you had just left a class and your classmates were spilling out into the hallway, chatting and filling the space. "Can we talk about what happened yesterday?"

"You mean the tweets?" She asks with an indifferent tone, but you knew the girl well enough to recognize the clenched jaw that hinted at a touch of irritation. "You don't need to say anything. Seriously."

"But..."

"Look, really." Tara cuts you off, crossing her arms and avoiding your gaze. You could feel the growing aggression in her voice. "I'm not in the mood to hear about it right now."

You feel your heart crack a little. It seemed like Tara didn't even want to hear you say that you liked her. Was it some sort of denial? Like if she doesn't hear the words coming out of your mouth, can she pretend your feelings don't exist?

Either way, before you could retort, a familiar voice calls your name in the hallway, and you turn to see Lottie Matthews waving in your direction. But she stops and takes on a surprised expression upon noticing Tara with you. You hear a scoff, and when you turn back, Tara is already walking away, ending the conversation without waiting for your input.

A few seconds later, Lottie arrives by your side in the hallway, looking at you cautiously. "So..."

Feeling hurt not only by Tara's apparent rejection but also by how she seemed so disturbed by the idea of your feelings for her, you simply shake your head in denial, letting tears run down your face to ease the pain you felt on the inside.

You felt Lottie pull you by the wrist towards the bathroom, probably to give you more privacy in that emotional moment, and you were thankful, but you couldn't express anything other than anguish. It felt like your whole world was spinning and falling apart in pieces.

Fuck that shitty bird social media.

_

"What's wrong with you?!"

Tara and everyone else at the table (Chad, Mindy, and Ethan) looked up in alarm as Anika's impactful entrance echoed in. She dropped her bag onto the wooden surface with a thud and was glaring specifically at Tara with frustration.

"Baby, what-" Mindy tried to speak up, but Anika raised her index finger, and her girlfriend quickly fell silent with a final okay, adhering to the "happy wife, happy life" motto.

Everyone stared at the scene apprehensively, as it was the first time they had seen Anika so upset about something. Even Tara, who had an idea of the reason for her behavior, was just staring in a state of shock and fear.

"Listen, whatever you've done to Y/n, you need to fix it now." Anika emphasized, tapping the tip of her index finger on the table for added effect. "She's been crying her eyes out in the H building's bathroom for the past 40 minutes because of some shit you pulled."

"I… I didn't mean to…" Tara stammered and closed her eyes tightly, feeling a lump in her throat forming from guilt. Once again, Tara remembered one of Sam's warnings about seeking help to better manage her emotions and quietly cursed herself. The last thing she wanted was to hurt you, but she was like a ticking time bomb of negative feelings that unfortunately exploded onto you, who didn't deserve to suffer because of Tara's actions.

"I don't care about what you wanted or didn't want." Anika speaks sternly, not breaking eye contact with Tara. "All I know is that there's a girl who would give the world to you, crying because of your unnecessary rudeness, and you need to fix that."

Tara jumps up and gathers her things quickly, nodding in affirmation and avoiding the inquisitive gazes of their friends. "Yeah… I will. I'll apologize." The others watch her hurry off towards building H, and Anika slumps with exhaustion into the seat next to Mindy, which Tara had previously occupied.

"Do you think they'll finally confess to each other?" Mindy asks, gently petting her girlfriend's head, which now rests on her shoulder.

"They better. I can't go through this again." Anika replies, closing her eyes to enjoy  the touch of her girlfriend's fingers through her hair. On the other side of the table, the guys still have wide eyes, processing what they witnessed.

"Uh… You're not gonna explain anything to us, are you?" Ethan questions, gesturing to himself and Chad with quick motions.

The two girls exchange a quick look and respond in unison. "No."

_

Tara's hands are trembling as she reaches the bathroom door.

Nausea churns within her due to the nervousness of the conversation she's about to have. She knows she'll need to explain the reason for being so rude, which means she'll have to tell you about her feelings, even though she anticipates you'll reject her since you already have someone else in your heart.

Would you at least accept remaining friends? Or had she ruined that option by preventing you from discussing your compromising tweets about Lottie earlier?

With one final sigh and a shake of her head, Tara decides to stop stalling and takes the first step to enter the restroom and get it over with.

The first thing she notices is your back turned towards her. Your silhouette makes it clear you have your arms crossed, leaning your hips against the sink so your weight rests on your left side. The second thing she sees is Charlotte Matthews standing in front of you, using a tissue to wipe your face, which Tara imagines is damp from tears.

Before she could do anything, the soccer player noticed her presence and her mouth formed an "O" shape. Looking between you and Tara, she quickly mumbles, "I'll leave you alone," and exits the restroom, causing you to glance back in questioning.

Tara feels the air being sucked out of her lungs as your eyes meet. Your eyes and nose are red, and she can still see traces of the glistening trail down your cheeks. She takes a step forward and places her hand on the sink, noticing that you're still keeping your arms crossed and prefer looking at your own sneakers rather than at her.

With a sigh, she's the first to break the silence. "I'm sorry about earlier today. I didn't want to hurt you."

"It's okay," you reply, shifting your right foot back and forth. Tara knows that's one of your signs of nervousness. "You can't control how you feel, right?"

The petite girl looks at you in shock, but you don't seem to notice, still looking down. Had she got it right? Did you know about her feelings? "That's true. Maybe I'm being selfish, but... I didn't want to ruin our friendship over this. Is that okay with you?"

You finally look at Tara. Your eyes widen, and you quickly nod. "Of course! I didn't want to lose you just because we're not on the same page. These things happen, right?"

Tara feels her heart ache at the sentence. Was that your way of gently rejecting her? "Yeah. These things happen."

A few seconds of uncomfortable silence pass, but neither of you move, fearing that any wrong move would spoil the small progress you've just made. Again, Tara, with her impatience, initiates the conversation, hating the absence of any sound. "I hope she makes you happy."

She watches as your expression changes to one of confusion, eyebrows furrowed and head tilted to the side. "What?"

"Lottie." Tara points back to where the girl had left a few minutes ago. "She seems... nice. You have good taste."

"You think I like Lottie?!" She's startled by the outraged tone of your question. You take a step closer, as if wanting to hear more clearly what she was saying.

"Wasn't it about her? The tweet you made?" Tara asks, more bewildered than you. "Pretty girl, brown eyes..."

"It was about you!" You burst out, unable to contain the information any longer. "I'm in love with you! The whole time, I was talking about you, Tara! I saw you in yesterday's photo, and you looked so beautiful that... hmph!"

You are silenced by Tara's soft lips meeting yours, initiating a passionate and much-needed kiss from both sides. Your hands descend to her waist as her hands pull you by the nape of your neck, trying to bring you impossibly closer.

Without breaking the kiss, you move clumsily until Tara's back is fully supported against the sink, your arms holding her in place by the hips. She sighs as you part for a breath, and a genuine smile forms on your face.

"Wow." You laugh and pull back slightly, just enough so that your noses are no longer touching. "I wasn't expecting that."

"I thought you knew I liked you." Tara laughs along, playing with the hair at the nape of your neck to try to ease the redness in her own face.

You gently stroke her hip with your thumb. "Is that what you were talking about earlier? I thought you were rejecting me."

"I thought you were rejecting me." She playfully nudges your chest with medium force. Tara's smile becomes a bit more subdued as she moves her hands from your nape to hold your face. "I'm sorry for being rude earlier and hurting you."

You shake your head. "It's okay. Now I know you were just jealous." Your tone is teasing, and you raise your eyebrows twice just to mess with Tara a little more.

"Shut up." She rolls her eyes, smiles, and pulls you by the wrist until you're out of the bathroom. "I'll make it up to you with some ice cream, what do you think?"

"If you throw in a few kisses in the middle of that offer, I might consider."

[celestialprincesse]

🎀🍼

What time is it?! More single mom!reader time!

Someone dropped into my inbox asking for Single mom! getting upset at her daughter and yelling at her and then crying about it. I needed a minute to cook but I'm here now.

"Come on, Lottie." You huff desperately, covered to your elbows in suds and applesauce as you try and fail to get your daughter into the bubble filled tub. "If you take a bath, I'll let you watch Bluey before bed." Has the three year old perking up, albeit barely, still stroppy about some trivial thing or another. She's probably still sour about you saying no to having cake for dinner, despite the fact that you'd relented this morning and allowed cake for breakfast, on the condition that she also had some strawberries to 'cancel the sugar out'.

"I wan' see Riley!" She pouts, stomping a tiny, chubby foot against the tiled bathroom floor. Ever since you'd dog sat for Simon on his latest deployment, Charlotte had decided that Riley was more her dog than his, and despite the fact that you too, absolutely adore Riley, the thought of bothering Simon any more makes you physically wince. "We can see Riley tomorrow." You attempt to bargain, growing more frustrated the longer you sit on the edge of the bath with your daughter looking at you like you're unreasonable. You never thought you'd see the day where you could get genuinely upset at a three year old covered in apple sauce and glitter glue. You've already had to fish a clip on earring from her mess of hair, and now you're at the end of your very, very long, single mother special edition, extra strength rope. "Wan' see him now!" Has you practically on the verge of tears. Today has been one of those impossible days where all you can think of as you're working out how much you have to spend for the month and whether you need to call a plumber out for the kitchen sink, is whether it's all worth it. Sure, going back and grovelling would be shameful, gut wrenchingly so, but at least then you wouldn't be alone.

"Charlotte, get in the bath or I'll put you to bed with no TV time." The unrelenting growl of your own voice feels foreign as it echoes around the tiny bathroom. You hate playing the bad cop, that was never your role, you'd always been the one to pick Lottie up after her dad laid down the law, take her for ice cream in the park or to feed the ducks. Now you're forced to do both. Charlotte, being three and having no care for the fact that she's making your life more difficult than it needs to be, simply sticks out her bottom lip and quivers her chin a little. Which, under normal circumstances, would make you give in and try to chase her down with a wet wipe, or coax her with the mermaid barbie doll that 'lives' in the bath. "Charlotte. Bath. Now." Of course, she'd had to have your spirited nature and unwillingness to give in passed on to her like a flaming torch, like you were Prometheus, being punished for giving fire to man. "No!" She shrieks, and that's enough to tip you over the edge. "Fine, bed then! Go on! Go and get in bed all dirty and see if I care." You snap, fingers pinching frustratedly at the bridge of your nose, trying to hold back the angry tears threatening to spill.

You're too consumed by hurt and endlessly roiling frustration to see where she storms off to, allowing yourself just a moment to sit on the edge of your shitty bathtub and let it all out. It was hardly ever that you got angry at Lottie. It was practically impossible given your situation. She doesn't understand where her daddy is or why you needed to go without him, nor why she can't always go and play with Simon and Riley whenever she wants.

"Charlotte?" Simon is confused and more than a little concerned at the snotty three year old currently stood at his door, cheeks ruddy with tears and little fists balled as she walks past him into his flat. "Wan' play wif Riley." She babbles, toddling through his entrance hall to the living rim, where the K9 gladly greets her with licks to her cheeks, making her giggle. "Where's mummy, Lottie?" Riley is called to heel, told to calm down so that Simon can understand why he's currently got your three year old crying in his lounge. "Baffroom." The toddler mumbles, seemingly perfectly content to get comfortable on his couch with Riley, burying her little face in the fluffy golden scruff of his neck. "What do you mean, bathroom, poppet? Is mummy alright?" "Mummy cryin'." "Did something happen?" In her usual way, Charlotte completely zones out from his line of questioning, too engaged with snuggling his dog.

The toddler wails and kicks when she's hoisted up onto his hip and carried back through the concerningly open door of your apartment, still swinging slightly on its hinges from where Lottie had thrown it open. "Love?" Simon calls into the seemingly empty house, your daughter on his hip and Riley waiting at his feet, wet nose twitching for any smell of the familiar woman who feeds him treats and scratches behind his ears. In seconds, Riley is tearing into the dimly lit bathroom, jolting you from your meltdown, followed rapidly by Simon and a tired looking toddler. "Love? Darling, what happened?" He's crouching at your bare feet as you sit defeatedly on the rim of the tub, your chin in his hands, tilted this way and that as though to make sure you're not hurt.

"Charlotte wouldn't get in the bath and - and" You can barely get your words out before you're wailing into your hands again, hiccuping pathetically at your situation and the fact that such a simple thing has the strength to derail you entirely. "Ah. Wondered why she came round mine all huffy and puffy." "Oh my God, I'm so sorry - You must think I'm awful." "I don' think you're awful. I think you're fuc-fudging amazing. Look at you, are you jokin'? Raisin a kid all alone, startin' a new life just the two of you. You're a trooper, yeah? I've seen soldiers weaker than you." "You don't really think that." You sniffle, inadvertently leaning your cheek into his palm when he reaches up to wipe your tears. "Course I do. You're brave and kind and beautiful. You've done a hell of a job with the little spitfire over there. Don't think I've ever come across a woman I admire the way I do you."

The way his words, aloof, distant Simon Riley's words make butterflies flutter in your stomach should be illegal. The way his eyes are so warm and dark like the comfort of a warm bed after a long day makes your heart pound and your breath catch. You know you shouldn't feel like this, for Charlotte's sake, and his, and yours, and yet you can't stop yourself. For the first time, you're falling, hard. Not for danger or the lure of the unknown. No. You're falling for the safe, gentle domesticity that Simon offers you in the waiting palm of his hand, like feeding a frightened animal in the hopes of coaxing them into the safe warmth of a home.

｡ ﾟ ꒰ঌ ✦໒꒱ ༘*.ﾟ

I didn't mean for this to be 1.2k oops I got totally carried away 😚

[hansslut]

⋆ 𓏲 THE YELLOWJACKETS BEING JEALOUS .ᐟ

cw. swearing and some suggestive themes but not really anything too specific!!

a/n. HFHFHFHFHFFH GODDD 1 month anniversary of shipmanisms and ALREADY 176 followers 🥹 im so grateful for every single one of you, i love you all sm and thank you for supporting me sm 💓

⋆ natalie scatorccio

natalie would be so grumpy if she saw you talking with another girl or even breathing the same air as her,, she'd immediately pout and scoff and throw a snarky remark to make you pay attention to her :(

“awh, such a romantic moment” said natalie while rolling her eyes as she saw you and lottie, your best friend, talking in a hushed tone, probably 'flirting' like nat thought, when in reality you were asking lottie for advice on how to ask nat out for doomcoming . . . “you know what would be a romantic moment? this, do you wanna be my partner for the doomcoming?please?baby?” you asked out of the blue with an awkward smile, but hey! it was lottie's ideas, she was the one who told you to be yourself.

⋆ lottie matthews

she wouldn't even be mad or jealous, just confused if she saw one of the other yjs getting close to you. she'd look at you like a dumb puppy with those big ole brown eyes of hers and go like "hey, can we:(( talk:((( pls:(("

“baby, hey, what's up with you and shauna? you're spending so much time with her instead of me” lottie's sweet voice rang through your ears, and you giggled a bit at seeing her so desperate to talk to you more. hugging her and resting your head on her shoulder, you looked up at her with a smile. “jackie is shocked that she's not the one who got shauna pregnant, and she's not talking to her, so shauna asked for my help" you intertwined your fingers with lottie's, seeing her finally relax and a look of realisation cross her face.

⋆ jackie taylor

sassy loser girlfailure princess who's jealous and needs attention 24/7 or else she'll die ( she's just like me ) , of course she'll never let you go without reassurance and an explanation + an apology paragraph.

“when did you stop wanting me to be your girlfriend? how is travis more important than me now?” jackie asked frustrated as she stomped her feet a bit with her hands on her lips, looking at you impatiently. “baby.. he ate his brother's heart..” — “okay an- oh. yeah, i remember now, okay! i love you then, tell me if you need help with comforting him” she smiled and pecked your lips.

⋆ shauna shipman

jealous shauna is your worst enemy, she wouldn't even talk, she'd just bottle up all of her jealousy until she finally snaps.

seeing you hugging with van was what made shauna lose her temper, she tried to keep her calm, seeing you and van everywhere with each other, talking, laughing, saying inside jokes that no one understood but you two— and now hugging? storming off and grabbing you by the hand, leading you out of the cabin, you knew you were fucked. “can you tell me what the fuck is going on with van?” shauna said in an angry tone, her brown eyes intensely staring at you. "we're stranded in the wilderness..i can't be only talking to you?i have to... communicate with other people too in order to survive? besides what's up with you and taissa? running off in the woods like you're romeo and juliet or whatever bullshit you're doing there!" and it just turns into a whole argument that none of you ever apologize for, but it'll probs end up with you dead or you two cuddling together.

⋆ van palmer

jealous van is a CONFUSED van, they probably wouldn't even notice it until one night where you're all talking with each other but you don't sit next to them like you always do cause you're sitting next to natalie.

biting their lip, they anxiously took some small steps towards you. “hi baby, can we talk?" and the moment you nod and get up, they drag you in the woods and yap your ear off about the whole situation, only for you to explain that you're still very very very in love with them and that you're just getting the gossip from natalie about her and travis. "oh, okay!" and then they just smooch you all over :(

⋆ taissa turner

just like shauna, this girl is ready to fight at any moment given when she realises somebody's taking HER partner way.

“yeah, it'll be fine, you just need to focus on to who you should pass the ball to at the right moment” you adviced allie before hugging her and giving her shoulder a small pat, not knowing taissa was looking. “you'll do great, now come on, we need to go” you said before running out in the field, allie following closely and— not even an hour later, allie was on the ground, screeching in pain as her leg painfully snapped because of taissa tripping her purposefully, making you gag and cover your eyes at the sight of the blood.

as soon as practice finished, everyone gathered to talk about the incident, and of course you immediately took taissa's side even if she was in the wrong. “listen! im sure she didn't mean to, right baby?” you asked tai, but she stayed silent. “yeah see! she confirmed it!” you defended her again, even if she wasn't even trying to defend her own self. later on, as everyone left, pissed and angry at taissa and at you for picking her side, it was just you and her now.

“why'd you do it?” you asked your girlfriend, playing with the straps of her bag. “she was too close to you and i wasn't going to let her steal you from me— you're mine, and she should know that” she spat out, rolling her eyes before looking at you. “maybe you don't know it either, hm? think i may need to prove it to you” she smirked, dragging you towards the showers in no time.

[weindenburg]

bookish bed set

a bed set for your bookish sims. flannel is to bookworms what pen is to paper. idk how to explain it. more info + download below!

info;

bed frame: new mesh, bgc

mattress: recolor of lottie mattress by @myshunosun (mesh needed)

15 wood swatches using this wood palette by @silverhammersims and 15 plaid swatches from this palette by @madameriasims4

more details under the cut

download: patreon (always free) alt: sfs

known issues: you kind of have to alt place it because idk how to make it snap to the corners of the walls perfectly. I do this with every furniture piece anyway regardless of snapping but yeah, moveobjects on is highly recommended!

details:

I once again exceeded the slot limit so there’s a lot. ea should hire me to do this. you can even place large plants or large clutter!

I removed the object footprint on the bed frame so you can use any and all mattresses on it!

I shaped and scaled it in a way that even overhanging blankets won’t clip to the sides yay

update:

04/27/2024 - you now need to download the original mattress mesh from myshunosun's lottie bedroom set to fix the "missing object footprint resource" issue

@alwaysfreecc @public-ccfinds @mmfinds

[megalony]

You Keep Me Safe

Okay, this is my first imagine for S.W.A.T and it's for Luca, I just had to get this idea out my head. I hope you'll all enjoy it.

Taglist: @justagirlthatlovedtoread @musicistheway @avada-kedavra-bitch-187 @luula @missdreamofendless @bradleybeachbabe @woderfulkawaii @amberpanda99 @daggersquadphantom @marvel-and-chicago-fan @angryknightstatesmantrash @minjix @lyjen @kmc1989 @itsmytimetoodream @noonenuts @hiireadstuff @ashie-babie @classyunknownlover @jayyeahthatsme @sp1ritssz @dumb-fawkin-bitch @oliverstarksbae @gimatida @heart-35 @supernaturalstilinski @stefansalvatoresgf @kyky9103 @wutheringhearts2275 @gay4hotmilfs @itshamleth @chaoticnosleepinfluencer @gs29 @wh0reforsmutstuff @mel-vaz @natashamea18 @chrisevansdaughter @alexandra8484 @deena-beena-weena @targaryenluvs @shelbygeek @kpoplover-19 @marvelmenarebeautiful @gillybear17

@zoeybennett @mrspeacem1nusone @zephyrmonkey @estella-novella @eleventhdoctorsangel @kniselle @senjoritanana

@shauna-carsley @dottierose @cfdhouse51 @darkfemme1 @rainechase45 @ml572 @jessie-lynn28 @lolalolsstuff @jupiter1700 @ashdoctor @an-aliens-ghost @lunaroserites @houseoftwistedspirits @itshamleth @loveyouamory

Swat Masterlist

Part 2

Summary: While out with the kids, someone tries to take (Y/n) and Luca's daughter. When they go to Swat and Luca finds out what happened, he isn't pleased.

Enjoy.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A smile graced (Y/n)'s lips as she looked around the park, keeping an eye out to see where the kids had scarpered off to.

She could see Lottie sat on the swings on the other side of the play park while Jake was sharpening his skills on the climbing wall, trying to see how fast he could make it up to the top. He was definitely taking after his dad.

(Y/n) kept her eyes on the pair of them while she headed to the baby swing and gently eased her one year old down into the seat. He immediately patted his hands down against the plastic bar in front of him and started to kick his legs. Babbling happily as the pacifier dropped and hung round his tummy since it was clipped to his top.

"Here we go, baby." She began slowly pushing him back and forth, kissing his head every time he swayed back towards her.

It had been a while since she had brought the kids to the park, just the four of them. Whenever they went out with Annie and Deacon's kids, they ended up walking along the beach or heading around town. And when Luca had a day off, they usually ended up on the park closer to home where there was a track for running and training.

After a while, (Y/n) lifted Billy from the swing and set him down to his feet, staying close as he plodded in front of her. He wasn't the best at walking yet, he kicked his legs out straight rather than bending his knees, but he was surprisingly fast.

She followed him over to the smaller, plastic climbing frame that was more for toddlers and more his height.

"Wanna go down the slide?" Jake jogged over to them and held his hand out for his younger brother, grinning widely when Billy took his hand.

He lifted Billy up the steps and guided him over to the slide, sitting the toddler between his legs so they could go down the slide together. The sight made (Y/n) smile and she snapped a quick photo, noticing just how much both boys seemed to resemble Luca in lots of little ways. From how their eyes creased when they smiled to the way their noses crinkled when they laughed.

"Didn't dad get stuck on the slide once at the play centre?" Jake tilted his head to the side, looking over at (Y/n) quizzically while she made sure Lottie was okay on the zipline in the corner.

She looked back at her boys and grinned, thinking hard about what her nine year old was referring to.

"Oh, yeah, aunt Chris had to help him get out of there." A smile lit up (Y/n)'s face at the memory that thought provoked.

She could remember Luca panicking in the play centre. Everyone told him he was too tall and broad to go down the slides, but he wanted to go with the kids because Jake wouldn't go anywhere without at least one of his parents. And (Y/n) had been pregnant at the time. Luca went down the slide and ended up stuck halfway down. Chris had been the only one in the group slim enough to help him out.

(Y/n) had honestly thought she might have to call Hondo or get the emergency services to break the slide and free her husband. What a sight and event that would have caused.

(Y/n) folded her arms over her chest and watched the boys go down the slide another two times before Jake started playing hide and seek with Billy. The toddler started to squeal, slamming his feet down as he trotted around the bottom of the slide.

Leaning back, (Y/n) looked across at the zipline but her smile morphed into a frown when she couldn't see Lottie there anymore.

Where had she got to now?

She held her hand out towards Billy and leaned down to take his hand, guiding him with her while she nodded for Jake to follow them.

Her eyes cast around the park, looking between the other parents and the few kids scattered around running from swing to swing with glee. What was Lottie up to? Where had she disappeared to? (Y/n) liked to keep them all within her sights in case they wandered and tried to talk to strangers or ended up falling off of something and hurting themselves.

Jake was an accident prone and Lottie was a drifter living in a daydream. It wasn't the best combination without parental supervision.

"Where's Lottie?" (Y/n) gave a tug on Billy's hand and smiled as he looked around as if he could spot his sister any quicker.

A shiver crawled down (Y/n)'s spine at the shrill scream that tore through the air and her gut knew that was her daughter.

She spun on her heels and looked around, unsure where the noise was coming from and she could barely control her breathing enough to scour through the play park to find her daughter. Her eyes finally locked on a familiar crop of hair and the red and purple polka dot dress she had gotten Lottie into this morning. As quick as anything, (Y/n) leaned down and scooped Billy up from the floor and headed off in a sprint, Jake right at her side, neither of them sure what was happening.

The panic (Y/n) felt seemed to flicker off in all directions, sparking different thoughts and questions.

She could see Lottie, she was laid on her side in front of the metal fence that surrounded the perimeter of the park. She was inches away from the gate which was hanging open, the hinges creaking awfully and grating through (Y/n)'s ears when she got closer.

"Baby what happened?" (Y/n) turned and stood Billy in front of Jake who reached down and held him by the shoulders so the toddler wouldn't try and wander off. The boys stood a few feet to the left, still close enough for Jake to reach out and hold his mum's shoulder if he felt the need.

He watched his mum go down on her knees in front of his sister, waiting for an explanation as other parents started to look in their direction.

(Y/n) could feel her heart hammering away in her chest and all the blood seemed to fizzle out of her hands and feet and flood her chest and stomach instead. Adrenaline fueled through her abdomen and made butterflies crawl up her chest when Lottie howled.

The five year old pushed up from where she was lying on the floor and immediately crawled onto her mother's lap. She bound her arms around (Y/n)'s waist and burrowed her face into her stomach, sobbing so loudly and sharply that (Y/n) felt as if she was the one screaming instead of her daughter.

"Baby what's the matter, did you fall?"

Leaning down, she pressed her lips against the top of Lottie's head and curled her arms around her. But she didn't like the way her daughter was trembling against her.

"T-the man…"

"What? What man?"

When she didn't get a response, (Y/n) leaned over and gripped Lottie beneath her arms. She hoisted her up and moved her so she was sat on her knees instead with one hand on Lottie's waist and the other rubbing up and down her back.

The little girl was taking shallow, bubbling breaths, mixing between crying and screaming which was starting to put (Y/n) on edge.

"Sweetie talk to me, what man?"

"D-don't know… t-the man asked me t-to go with him." Lottie feebly pointed behind her towards the gate that was beginning to slow to a stop, vaguely creaking on the old rusted hinges.

(Y/n)'s head snapped up and she looked around, but she couldn't see any man close by. The only people outside of the playground was an older couple walking their dog and a young mother with two children headed down the path towards the park. Whoever the man was, he had clearly left in a hurry which made (Y/n) suddenly feel worse.

He must have been running at some speed to disappear across the grass or down the path and out of sight. Why had be asked Lottie to leave with him? What did he want with (Y/n)'s daughter? What had he tried to do to her?

"I said no, a-and he pulled my hair." Lottie lifted her head and moved a shaking hand to the right side of her head.

Terror ransacked (Y/n)'s body when she realised there was a small scratch of blood on the side of Lottie's head.

Her hands reached out and cupped her daughter's face, tilting her head down so she could look at her properly but it felt like ice cold spikes were cutting through (Y/n)'s chest. There were at least three scratches along Lottie's temple that went up into her hairline. The two plats (Y/n) had braided into her hair were now coming loose and looked obscure like Lottie had been dragged through a bush.

Whoever it was had tried to grab her by her hair to make her leave. He had scratched her head and pulled on her hair so harshly a clump of hair had come loose.

Someone had tried to kidnap her daughter.

"What happened to your hand?" (Y/n) asked quietly when she noticed Lottie's left hand was starting to swell. When she reached out to try and touch it, Lottie pulled back with a howl and cradled her hand to her chest.

"Trapped it i-in the gate, when he grabbed my hair… mummy I s-said no."

Tears rolled down (Y/n)'s face before she could stop them. She pressed her lips together so tightly her upper lip started to cut against her teeth and she swiped her hand across her face, wiping away the tears.

If Lottie hadn't tried to say no or if she didn't reach out for the gate or make a fuss, she would have been gone by now. (Y/n) would have been on a frantic search for her daughter. She would be scouring the park with her boys, desperately trying to find Lottie and if the man had a car, the possibilities of what could have happened were endless.

The man had fled. (Y/n) wasn't sure if that was a good thing or not. He had gone, he wasn't going to terrorise her children any longer. But now they had no chance of finding him. He could try again. He could try and take another child. He could see Lottie in the street or in a different park and try his luck. He might get her if he tried again.

Each breath (Y/n) tried to take hitched higher and higher until she was barely breathing at all and her sight was fading into tunnel vision.

Her arms bound around Lottie and she attached her daughter to her chest, holding her with one arm while her other arm looped around Jake. She stood to her feet, tugging Jake with her who kept his hands on Billy's shoulders, guiding the oblivious toddler along with them.

"Mum?"

"We're leaving." Cold tremors rattled through (Y/n) as she watched Jake closely as he picked Billy up so they could move faster.

"Are we going to see dad?" Jake whispered, unsure whether he was okay to talk or whether his mum was on a mission and was going to go mute in her state of panic.

"Yes. Stay close, stay right next to me." (Y/n) was grateful that Jake clipped Billy into the chair so she didn't have to set Lottie down.

She didn't know what to do.

This had never happened before. None of the kids had ever been hurt or almost kidnapped like this. It was a lucky escape that the stranger hadn't run off with Lottie and that she hadn't gotten hurt more than this. (Y/n) had all three of her children safe and relatively unharmed, but she couldn't stay here. They had to leave. They had to talk to the police.

They had to talk to Luca.

Was this why (Y/n) always felt safer going out with Luca?

It was no secret that no one gave them a second look when Luca was with them. He was like an omen. Almost six foot tall with a broad muscular frame and he was always near his family, looming like a shadow that no one wanted to mess with.

Would that man have tried to take Lottie if Luca had been down here with them? Of course he wouldn't. Luca was a threat, he was built and muscular and could give anyone a run for their money in a chase. He was a member of Swat, Luca could outrun most people and give a good chase and he knew how to tackle someone down and restrain them. If he was here he might have been able to find whoever had done this.

(Y/n) felt Jake lean his head on her arm and move closer to her side, suddenly mute and afraid, feeling as small as a mouse. His boysterous, outgoing personality died down immediately and he tried not to shake as the two of them were almost running towards the car.

Someone had tried to snatch his sister. What would his mum have done if they succeeded? Would the police have come down and done a search and rescue for her? Would his dad and his team have come down to the park to search for Lottie? Would they have found her? What would happen in their family if they didn't get Lottie back?

***

"Hey, look who's rolled into town." A smile lit up Chris's face and she held her hands out at her sides when she spotted familiar faces wandering through the gym.

She sped up her steps towards Jake who was walking in front, pushing the pram with Billy who looked like he was either waking up for a nap or about to go take one.

'Look at my nephews,' was on the tip of her tongue and about to roll off, until she noticed the look on the nine year old's face. He looked panic-stricken. His eyes were sunken and rapidly darting around the squad base as if he didn't feel safe or didn't know what to expect. Not like he had been coming here since he was a baby.

And when Chris looked towards (Y/n), she could tell something was off with her too. (Y/n) had tears stained down her face and her eyes kept adverting down to the floor like she was too nervous to look Chris in the eye. Her right arm was wrapped around Lottie who was visibly shaking, tucking herself into her mother's leg like she wanted to disappear. And Chris realised the five year old was quietly whimpering and was shedding hundreds of tears.

"What's wrong?" Chris leaned down and let Jake barrell into her and bind himself against her front like he was seeking her protection.

Chris considered herself close to everyone on the squad, but she was especially close to Luca. He was like a brother to her and they were close enough that Chris was godmother to all three of his children.

"Is Luca around? I know you're busy, but I- I need to speak to him."

"Yeah, yeah he's in the back." She pointed behind her before she looked between Jake and the push chair. "Wanna show me your skills in the ring, little man?" She looked down at Jake and pointed to the boxing ring up ahead, Jake usually liked to spar with anyone on the team who would let him when he came to visit.

He gingerly nodded, still clinging tight to her even as she tried to guide him over to the ring and moved the push chair so Billy could watch them or doze off to sleep, whatever the toddler preferred.

"Hey, my troop's here!" A grin spread across Luca's face and he clapped, jumping with his next step as he jogged ahead of Deacon when his eyes set on the boxing ring and saw Jake. If his eldest was here that meant all three kids would be here. That meant (Y/n) would be here.

(Y/n) locked her eyes on her husband but she gasped and jolted forward when Lottie let go of her hand and bolted. The five year old got a burst of energy from somewhere and surged forward, making a beeline for Luca.

He bent down and stretched his arms out, not getting a clear view of his daughter before she barrelled into him like a bowling ball trying to knock him down. Her arms bound around his neck and she slammed into his chest, deadlocking her legs around his waist, clinging to him like a monkey. And Luca obliged, curving his arms around her as he stood back up.

"Hey girlie… what's wrong, why the tears?" His lips attached to her cheek, but his broad smile began to fade when he realised Lottie was crying. Her face was hot and sticky with tears and she started to gasp and mewl into his neck, unable to catch a proper breath because of the tears streaming down her face.

When Luca tried to lean back and get a proper look at her, she hid her face in his neck which made him frown. He could feel his heart fluttering against his ribs, thudding out a fast paced beat as he wondered what was going on.

Whenever the kids came to the squad they were all excited and bubbly and loud. They would find Luca and hug him, then they would filter around to see the team and try out the gym equipment or wait for Luca to show them something cool.

But right now, Jake was barely interacting with Chris in the ring and Lottie was crying and clinging to Luca. She usually squealed and talked his ear off and dragged him round, running on an endless bout of energy. She didn't hide away in his neck or cling to him like this unless she was ill or frightened.

His hand cradled the side of her neck and he gently swiped his thumb across her cheek, trying to look at her before he gave up and looked ahead at (Y/n).

He didn't like the tears staining her face, the panic he could see in her eyes or the way (Y/n) had both arms bound around her waist like she was trying to hug and comfort herself.

Luca took a quick look behind him to make sure Chris was alright with Jake and he peeked over at Billy, satisfied the toddler was dozing off and not upset or panicked like the rest of their family. Luca headed over towards (Y/n) and the moment his arm was stretched out towards her, she moved.

She tucked herself into Luca's side, binding her arms tight around his waist while her face meshed into his chest. She didn't care about the scratchy Swat shirt he was wearing or the way it brushed against her cheek and nose. She couldn't find the will to care that the rest of the team were looking over and people passing by were starting to stare at them.

All (Y/n) cared about was having Luca in front of her and wrapped around her. The feel of his hand squeezing her hip, the touch of his lips against the top of her head and his steady breaths in her hair that he was trying so hard to control.

"Baby, what's happened?" Luca's voice was quiet, the words whispered into her hair.

He had his daughter crying into his neck and his wife glued to his chest, both shaking, both clearly rattled and upset and Luca had no idea what the problem was. He didn't like not knowing things and being out of the loop, he had to know what was going on so he could fix things.

He danced his eyes around the squad, noticing a few eyes glancing their way and he could see Deacon frown and dip his head down, silently asking if everything was okay. The blank look on Luca's face told him he had no idea what was happening.

His fingers squeezed (Y/n)'s hip and he held her that little bit tighter, kissing her temple to try and coax her to talk to him.

"A man tried to take Lottie." (Y/n)'s voice shuddered and came out breathless as a shiver tore down her spine and seeped into Luca's body.

His muscles went rigid and he tensed up in front of her, gripping her waist tighter as something dark crossed his eyes. His head tilted to one side and his eyes narrowed while his lips quirked as if he wanted to smile in utter confusion. Who would do that? Why would they do that? What exactly did that mean?

He leaned back, gripping (Y/n)'s hip and using it as leverage to nudge her back just enough so they could lock eyes. She could see the confusion and the panic pooling in those blue eyes and it made her heart drop down to her stomach.

"Take her? What does that mean, take her? Like walk off with her or what?"

"She said no but… babe, look at her head, he grabbed her by her hair. He almost ripped her hair out to drag her with him."

As swift as anything, Luca's arm retracted from (Y/n)'s waist so his attention could turn to their daughter.

His hand cupped the side of Lottie's face, his thumb brushing across her cheek as he fought to lift her head from the crook of his neck so he could check her over. Sorrow danced through his eyes while anger plastered across his face when his daughter's watering eyes finally looked up at him and a broken mewl left her lips that had Luca's heart shattering into a million pieces.

His eyes flitted across her face and over her head, noting the scratches on her scalp, the blood spots on her temple where her hair had been forcefully ripped from her scalp. He saw how her plaits were ruffled and pulled apart and how some of her hair was in knots and tangled up from her ordeal.

When Lottie carefully unravelled her arm from around her dad's neck, she held her trembling hand out to him. Letting him look at her swollen joint that flared with a biting pain whenever she tried to touch it.

"Did he do that?" Something dark laced in Luca's tone and (Y/n) was quick to shake her head.

She had seen Luca when he got defensive and protective over his family and those close to him. But that was nothing compared to this. She had never seen him so riled up and furious like this.

"She trapped it in the gate, trying to get away." (Y/n) rung her hands out in front of her, letting her nerves fizzle down to her hands to try and calm herself down. "I- I know I should have called the police, but he scarpered, I didn't even see him, Luca. He vanished. I didn't know what to do-"

"No, it's okay, you came here." When Lottie dropped her head back onto his shoulder, Luca reached his hand out and cupped the back of (Y/n)'s neck, reeling her back into his chest.

His lips smothered her temple and he closed his eyes, trying to take a second to calm down before he exploded.

Someone had tried to take his daughter. Someone had hurt his child and frightened his family. He wasn't letting them get away with this, he was going to find who did this.

"Alright team, gather up, we got a case."

Hondo's voice broke through the air and (Y/n) couldn't help but clutch tighter at Luca's back, pushing herself into his chest like she was trying to merge them into one person. She knew what that meant. She knew coming down here meant taking Luca away from the team and he was busy, his job was high profile and demanding. (Y/n) didn't want to detain him or distract him from work, she just had to talk to him so she didn't go out her mind and seeing him put the kid's minds at ease, especially Lottie.

"I- we should go, you're busy-"

"No, no… Cortez." Luca lifted his head and nodded at the Captain when she was about to walk past.

He knew the anger was overriding the panic written across his face and he knew the Captain could sense it when she walked over. She was familiar with Luca's family, she got on well with (Y/n) and she always said family were always welcome to drop by the squad. And right now, Luca's family needed to be here, they needed help.

"Everything okay Luca?"

"Cap, someone tried to take Lottie. Can you get an officer down here to do a sketch and take a statement? He got away and I want him arrested, now." This squad was part of the police. He knew Cortez could get hold of a uniform officer and have someone come down here to talk to (Y/n) and the kids.

They would feel safer staying here around people they knew and trusted. Someone could talk to Lottie and Jake and try to get a sketch out there, they could have uniformed police searching round the park to find whoever this man was who thought he could terrorise Luca's family. If not Luca would be out there in five minutes scouting round for the man who did this.

He watched the way Cortez took a deep breath, her hands moving to her hips as she bit down on her lip but she nodded quickly, reassuringly. This was a family unit and they took care of each other.

"Of course, you can all come to my office, I'll make some calls." She took a few steps back to let them talk, noting Chris who was stood with the pushchair next to her and her arms around Jake. Keeping the eldest tucked into her chest to keep him calm while his parents talked.

Luca tried to smile, but he knew what this meant. He had to finish his shift, they had a call to go on and he was still at work. But with any luck, they would all still be here when he came back and if not, he would be able to head straight home after this mission. They would all be safe here.

"You go give a statement, I'll come get you as soon as we're done I promise." His thumb brushed across (Y/n)'s jaw and she leaned into the touch, trying to stop herself from crying any more.

She nodded and held her breath when Luca stole a kiss from her lips. She gave his shoulders a squeeze and gave him another lasting kiss before she looked over at Lottie, tucked into his chest.

"Baby," He murmured softly, dragging the pad of his finger down Lottie's cheek to gain her attention. "You go with mum up to the big office, yeah? And when I'm finished at work, I'll come right back to you baby, okay?"

Lottie lifted her head but kept both arms deadlocked around Luca's neck, her lower lip wobbling as she looked at him.

She wanted to stay with him.

Lottie wanted to stay with her dad, he would keep her safe. He always kept them safe, that was his job. He was forever telling them that his job was to take care of people and protect the city. Now he could protect Lottie. She didn't want to go anywhere if Luca wasn't going with them, she wanted to stay right here where he could keep her safe.

"No, you come too. Please, daddy?"

Tears welled up in Luca's eyes but he tried to push them aside. It took a lot for him to cry, especially when he was on shift. He didn't want the rest of the team to see how badly his heart was breaking. "I won't be long. You go with mum and be a brave girl for me-"

"You keep me safe!" She all but whined, letting out another sharp cry when Luca leaned close and pressed his lips to her temple.

That was what he was trying to do. He was trying to keep her safe, it was all he wanted to do. He wanted to protect and look after his family and having them here talking to the police was the best way to do that.

"Baby, you're safe here, that's a promise. Stay here with mum and when I'm finished, I'll take you all home. I love you."

Luca took three shallow breaths against Lottie's temple and pressed a dozen kisses to her cheek before he leaned forward to let (Y/n) take her. If this was left to him he would crack and end up staying with them, but the team was waiting for him. And he wouldn't be much help talking to the police, he hadn't been there when it happened. His temper was already about to overflow and being around the police was going to make him explode and want to go out there looking for the one responsible for all of this.

(Y/n) gave his shoulder a squeeze but when she tried to hold Lottie, the five year old deadlocked her hands around Luca's neck and belted out a scream.

It was a noise that caught everyone's attention.

All eyes tuned in on them, everyone walking past came to a stop and all the voices ceased into silence so they could observe what was happening.

Luca tilted his head back, unable to hold off the tears any longer. He reached behind his neck for Lottie's hands and carefully unhooked her arms from his neck. He took a few steps back, kissed her palms and let go so she couldn't latch onto him any more.

He had to go. She could cling to him as soon as he was finished. As soon as he got his family home, all the kids could latch onto him and he wouldn't let them go. Lottie could sleep in their bed and Luca wouldn't sleep, he would stay awake looking out for her and protecting her to make sure she stayed safe.

"Daddy no! Daddy!"

A horrible banshee screech errupted past Lottie's lips and she screamed until she could barely breathe and stars danced in front of her eyes. She flopped over (Y/n)'s arm, kicking her legs, stretching her arms out and flapping them in Luca's direction, but he shook his head. He had to let her go talk to the police and calm down, he had to get this shift sorted so he could take them all home.

"Go." Luca pointed (Y/n) in Cortez's direction and turned sharply to face Chris and the boys.

His hand dragged along his face, wiping away the tears and dragging down his jaw before he bent down in front of Jake. The nine year old suddenly looked like a toddler, stood there frightened and panicked in Chris's arms.

"Go with your mum, tell the police anything you remember, and then I'll come and get you all. Are you okay?" His hands found Jake's arms and he rubbed up and down and kissed his temple.

"Scared, dad."

"That's okay. You're safe here, we'll all protect you. Go with Captain Cortez, and I'll see you soon." He murmured a soft 'I love you' against Jake's temple, reeling him in for a hug.

He kissed Billy's temple, thankful his youngest was just about asleep, despite Lottie who was still screaming for Luca.

His eyes followed his family, expression turning to stone as Cortez led them down the corridor to take them to her office. (Y/n) was struggling to keep hold of Lottie who was wriggling and fighting and crying out for Luca. Jake was shakily walking beside her, pushing the pram to keep Billy safe and within their sights. And Cortez had her hands on (Y/n)'s shoulders, trying to both comfort and guide her away from all the prying eyes.

A cringe tore through Luca's body and his shoulders hunched when he heard Lottie's feeble screams continue to wrack through the gym like her voice was purposely following and reaching out for him.

"Luca?" Chris tried to reach out for him but she took a step back when he twisted round.

She stepped away, hands retracting to her sides when Luca slammed his foot into the bench and gave such a powerful kick that the metal bench flipped and crashed into the boxing ring.

His hands ran up and down his face, wiping away the tears that wouldn't stop. He could feel his eyes stinging and turning red and a dark rouge tainted his face and slithered up his neck that was tense and throbbing. Every breath made his chest ache and tense but he didn't feel like he was breathing at all.

"He tried to take her." Venom spat through his words and his head snapped in Chris's direction but his eyes set on the figure looming behind her.

Hondo. Watching from the sidelines, unsure whether to approach and try to calm Luca down or just let him ride it out.

His hands balled into fists as he stormed towards the computer room where the rest of the teams were gathered, ready for their briefing that should have started five minutes ago. He felt Chris reach out for his shoulder but he shook her off and his steps halted when Hondo reached an arm out in front of his path, cutting him off.

"Luca, take a minute, calm down."

Calm down. How could he calm down? How could he control his thoughts, his feelings and his raging emotions when his daughter was screaming for him and his wife and sons were scarred and terrified? How could he compose himself when all he wanted to do was find the person who had done this to them?

"Some fucker just tried to kidnap my daughter. Once I've got the bastard in custody, then I'll calm down."

He pushed past Hondo and stormed into the room like a hurricane not to be trifled with. The sooner this was over, the sooner his family had talked to the police, then the sooner he could take them home and look after them.

But Luca wasn't going to calm down. He wasn't going to be satisfied or calm or at ease until this sick idiot was locked up in custody.

[babysukiii]

fallingforyou (3)

// lottie matthew’s does not like you. you’re annoying, preppy, and way too nice. lottie doesn’t fail to show you time after time just how much she hates you. you finally get the message and steer clear of her, until senior year, when you both get paired up for a science project. //

warnings: asshole!lottie, sweet!reader, pining, mutual pining, oblivious!reader, hints of underage drinking, lowkey jealous lottie if you squint, lottie is an idiot

(this is part 3, you can read part 2 here, and part 1 here)

on this night and in this light (i think i’m falling)

“don’t you think we should be, i don’t know, actually working?” lottie questions sardonically, and you turn your head to scowl at her from where you’re laying on the rug in your room. a new episode of sabrina the teenage witch was playing and you were excitedly watching it. “shut up! sabrina is talking!” you hiss warningly, causing the yellowjackets sweeper to roll her eyes in annoyance, while you turn your gaze back to the tv. “why didn’t you tell me you were going to be doing this the whole time? i would’ve just gone home.” it’s a blatant lie, but you don’t know that, and lottie doesn’t want to tell you otherwise.

you scoff, “yeah, sure. after the way you acted when i cancelled yesterday? you’re stuck here now.” the comment is supposed to annoy lottie, but it doesn’t. it doesn’t annoy her at all, the thought of being stuck here with you. lottie blinks rapidly, trying to shove that thought so far away, she’ll never have to deal with it again. “you don’t like sabrina?” you ask, gesturing to the tv, and lottie shakes her head. “i don’t really watch tv.” she mutters her response, making you furrow your brows and laugh lightly. “seriously? aren’t your parents loaded? i thought you’d have a huge theater where you watch all your favorite shows and movies.” you tease her, causing her to glower in your direction.

“you thought wrong.” she retorts, but there’s something in her tone that you can’t quite place. you can sense the shift in demeanor, but you don’t press the subject. lottie is like an animal you’re trying to tame. she could snap at any moment for any reason. you know lottie is like this for a reason; you can’t help but wonder if maybe her mother is just as angry as her. or perhaps her father has a temper. “well, either way… it’s been kind of nice having you over.” you start cautiously, and lottie looks over at you; her tenebrous gaze meeting yours.

“i just mean, i get lonely sometimes even though i’m here with my siblings all the time. it’s nice to have someone to spend time with.” you ramble, and lottie’s eyes seem to soften in a way you’ve never seen before. “i like being here with you too.” lottie says before she can think twice, taking not only herself by surprise, but you as well. a faint blush creeps onto your face, and lottie takes in how pretty you are. before either of you can say anything else, your older sister barges through your bedroom door, causing you to jump.

lottie looks annoyed at the intrusion, and she sends a scowl the older girls way. elise stares at you for a moment, furrowing her brows as she notices how flushed your cheeks are. she can nearly feel the tension in the room. “mom said dinners ready. she served your friend a plate.” the eighteen year old comments, flashing you a knowing look. you nod, “okay! be there in a minute.” you aimlessly respond, trying to keep your eyes away from your sisters. you do everything to stop blushing but it doesn’t seem to work. elise reluctantly leaves without saying anything else, and lottie clears her throat.

“i feel bad your mom has been setting an extra plate for me. i didn’t even ask if it was okay…” lottie trails off, insecurity laced throughout her tone. you shake your head quickly in protest, “my mom likes you! she thinks your nice, and she doesn’t mind.” you assure her, “besides, my dad always works super late so he never eats with us. there’s always an extra seat.” you ramble a bit, and lottie feels a bunch of mini starbursts in her chest; going off rapidly one by one. she swallows thickly, “thanks.” she doesn’t know what else to say and internally cringes at her response. you get up, flashing her a little grin that causes her belly to flip in an uncomfortable way.

“come on, matthew’s, before my mom gets pissed.” you taunt, waiting for her to get up from her seat on your bed. she follows you out of your room, chuckling slightly, “i can’t imagine your mom angry. she’s so tiny.” lottie makes you giggle, “trust me, she can be terrifying. have you ever heard that shorter people are more likely be evil because they’re close to hell?” your retort sounds serious, which makes it even more hilarious, and lottie can’t help but burst out laughing. you giggle as well, and you don’t even realize elise and your mother are staring at you both with inscrutable looks.

you and lottie aimlessly take a seat beside each other, and lottie smiles at your mother. “thank you, mrs. l/n. this smells delicious.” she says politely, and your mom offers her a smile. “you’re welcome, sweetheart. it’s carne asada, beans, and rice, y/n’s favorite.” she admits, and elise snickers, “basics just like her.” the older girl chimes in, and sabrina giggles while you flush. lottie looks at you, and she can’t stop thinking about how pretty you look when you blush. surely she’s notice how pretty you were before, but she can’t remember ever thinking about it. elise is the only one who is aware of the way lottie is looking at you.

“so mom… maria invited me to a get together at her sorority house. can i go after dinner?” elise asks hopefully, and your mom gets this skeptical look on her face. “a get together? at a sorority house?” she questions uncertainly, obviously not buying it. “yeah! it’s just a few of the girls! please mom?” the oldest teen asks, putting on her best puppy eyes. lisa quirks a brow challengingly, “then you wouldn’t mind taking y/n with you?” she asks, smiling in a condescending way. she obviously seems to know elise will refuse to bring you along. your eyes widen at the same time elise’s do.

“me!?”

“her!?”

you both respond to your mother at the same time, and lisa nods simply. “if it’s a get together, then you should have no problem with taking your sister. besides, when was the last time you two did anything together?” the older woman asks, and a glower etches itself onto elise’s features. “why can’t i go too!?” sabrina asks, pouting and clearly upset. “because you’re failing english, and need to study.” lisa pointedly responds, and elise huffs. “fine. i’ll take her, but she’s gonna be complaining the whole time!”

your eyebrows nearly meet your hairline, and you protest quickly. “i don’t wanna go! it’s friday night, and the last thing i wanna do is spend it with elise and a bunch of her weird friends!” you flash your mom a pair of begging eyes, “please don’t make me go.” lottie commends your mother for having the willpower to go against those eyes because damn, she feels her resolve slipping and the peculiar need to step in and protect you kicks in. “i can go with you guys. just so you’re not stuck there alone.” lottie offers, and your head turns to gaze at her.

you blink a few times, clearly confused as to why lottie matthew’s would want to spend a friday night with you. “but didn’t you get invited to becky martin’s bonfire?” you inquire, and lottie shrugs, “i wasn’t gonna go to that anyways.” she lies, but you seem to believe her because you flash her a grateful expression, “i mean if you really wanna be stuck with elise’s friends all night, then sure.” you half joke, making your older sister scoff. “my friends aren’t that bad! i mean at least i have more than three, unlike you!” she hisses, and you roll your eyes.

“ever heard of quality over quantity?” you sardonically retort, making lottie chuckle. elise narrows her eyes at you, “you’re so lucky moms forcing me to bring you.” she mutters, as she continues eating.

after dinner you and lottie head back to your room, and you’re a bit quieter than usual. “you don’t have to go just for my expense, you know? i know you were planning on being at that bonfire tonight.” you say softly, and lottie tenses up as you call her out. there’s no malice or anger in your tone, but lottie frowns. “if i wanted to go to that bonfire i would. i’m hanging with you tonight.” she responds adamantly, and the way you smile washes all of her doubts away.

“okay then, i guess i’ll start getting ready. you already look pretty, but we can stop by your house if you want to change?” you suggest and lottie shrugs, trying to ignore the sensations inside of her that she gets when you call her pretty. “i’ll just go like this. i mean, it’s just a bunch of elise’s lame friends. they’re probably just gonna talk about books and stuff.” she jokes, and you giggle, making her stomach get all knotted up again. god, she really hates that feeling.

throughout the entire way to the sorority house, lottie can’t help but occasionally steal a few glances at you. you had decided to wear a pair of tight black flare jeans, and a cropped fur coat that apparently belongs to elise. lottie wasn’t used to seeing you outside of your usual school clothes. you’d mostly wear jeans and sweaters; hiding every part of yourself. though tonight lottie had a hard time keeping her eyes off you. as soon as elise pulls into the parking lot of the campus, you can hear loud music in the distance.

your confusion only seems to grow as the music gets louder, the closer to the sorority house you all get. finally, your steps begin to falter when you realize you’re approaching a house with a few drunk students outside. someone was laying on the grass, and another person was holding her friends hair while she threw up in a bush. “elise this is not a get together! this is a frat party!” you exclaim angrily, as a large guy drunkenly stumbles past you guys. elise actually looks guilty for a moment, but the expression is quickly replaced by an angry one. “that’s why i didn’t want you to come! god, mom treats me like i’m a fucking kid! i’m eighteen; i should be allowed to have some fun.” she snaps, and you sigh.

“you should’ve just been honest with me. or snuck out like a normal person your age! now i’m stuck here!” you begin to argue with the older girl, who huffs in response. “yeah, cause being at a college frat party is every seventeen year olds worst nightmare. seriously, y/n, when was the last time you were even invited to a party?” elise sardonically asks, and you frown. “i’ve been to parties!” you internally cringe at how stupid you sound, and even lottie knows you’re lying. she’s only ever seen you at one party before, and even then you had left early.

elise shakes her head in dismay, “i bet you wouldn’t even know what to do at a place like this.” she challenges, and lottie frowns when she sees the determination on your features. “well, why don’t you put your money where your mouth is?” you provoke her back, suddenly thinking about those new shoes you’ve been wanting for a month. elise lights up, and lottie thinks it’s the first time she’s ever seen her look so excited as she talks to you. “fine. if you can get a guy or two to dance with you, and actually let loose… i’ll buy you anything you want from the mall. under a hundred and twenty bucks.” she says and you nod in agreement. “deal.” you confirm, holding your hand out for your sister to shake.

lottie gets a strange feeling in the pit of her stomach as the three of you walk into the sorority house. immediately lottie is alert and aware of how many people there are in here; how crowded and dim-lit the house is. losing you here would be easy, and it’d take lottie forever to find you. elise ditches you as soon as she sees her friends, and lottie hates that she’s thinking about what it’d be like if she didn’t come. you’d be stuck here, alone.

“at least they’re playing good music.” you comment, noticing an upbeat spanish song was playing. lottie’s cheeks turn a shade of crimson red as she flushes timidly. “i failed spanish class last year… i think i’m doing really bad in french too this year.” she reveals and you let out this tinkling laugh that causes her to stare at you. she takes in how you look under this lighting; your hair was clipped back in a half updo, but it was still curled in this carefree way that made lottie think you looked absolutely beautiful. she glances away, trying to think of anything but that.

“it’s okay, i suck at french. i only passed spanish class because it was my first language.” you tell her, and she smiles at the admission, “i don’t think i’ll ever be able to learn another language, it’s like my head just can’t grasp anything other than english. spanish is sexy though.” lottie blurts out, and you raises your eyebrows in a bit of amusement as her cheeks burn in humiliation. she has no idea why she just said that.

“here you go pretty ladies. you two look like you needed a drink.” a deep voice intervenes, as you look to see a tall frat boy handing you both cups. lottie speaks before you can even think about it, grabbing your hand, and grasping it firmly. her grip sends a jolt of electricity down your body, and you lose all train of thought as soon as she touches you. “we’re good, thanks though.” she says in that usual not-so-kind voice before pulling you away. “hey! i’m supposed to be getting guys like that to dance with me if i want to win the bet!” you argue, pouting as lottie begins to look for the drink station. she rolls her eyes, making a face of clear disdain at the fact that you’re actually going through with elise’s stupid challenge.

“you’re not seriously going to try and win that stupid bet, are you?” lottie gives you the third degree as she questions you, and you frown at her tone. you aren’t really sure why she sounds so upset. “well, yeah, i mean i want some new shoes and it’s an easy win. how hard can it be to get a few college dudes to dance with me?” you ask uncertainly, and lottie only seems more and more annoyed as you explain yourself. “these guys don’t just wanna dance with you, y/n. they’re all here looking to get laid.” she states, the contemptuousness in her voice causes something inside of your abdomen to tingle.

“obviously i’m not going to let them do that, matthew’s.” you respond as you both come to a stop at the drink station. lottie scoffs as she begins to make your drinks, refusing to answer you anymore. you frown, “you’re such an ass.” you mutter, only adding to her annoyance. she shoots daggers at you with her eyes, “me?? because i don’t want some gross college guy trying anything with you?” she sounds serious, and you can’t help but let your frustration wash away as you realize she’s just worried about you.

“if i didn’t know any better i’d think you’re actually starting to care about me.” you say carefully, as lottie hands you a cup of cranberry vodka. “yeah well, good thing you know better.” she murmurs, and before you can get another word out, an older guy approaches you both. “hey, i’m chris.” he introduces himself, flashing you a shy smile. “y/n.” you respond back, and lottie tries to hide the obvious distaste towards him while he eats you up with his eyes. “do you maybe wanna dance, y/n?” he asks hopefully and you’re about to say yes, when you remember lottie’s obvious indifference towards the bet.

“no, i’m okay. i’m here with someone else.” you simply respond, and the look of disappointment and humiliation etches itself onto his face. “oh, yeah. cool. i’m sorry. i’ll see you around then.” he quickly apologizes before rushing away in the opposite direction. lottie looks at you, visibly befuddled as to why you would turn him down. you shrug at her reaction, taking a sip of your drink, “i can always just blackmail elise into getting me the shoes. she’s not even supposed to be here, let alone have me here. moms gonna flip.” you laugh lightly and suddenly a sense of relief courses throughout the raven haired girl.

she isn’t sure why she was upset at the thought of you dancing with some other guy. the mere thought of some seedy dudes hands on you made her blood boil for reasons she didn’t understand.

it isn’t until lottie is laying in bed later that night; the image of your pretty smile and eyes are the only thing that she can see when she closes her eyes, that she realizes what this is. lottie matthew’s isn’t stupid; she’s aware of what’s happening… she just doesn’t want to admit it. because just last month lottie hated you; now she couldn’t get you out of her head. she was falling fast and she wasn’t sure if she could stop.