#so I'll try to change that for the future floors and i will also try to change that just for the room part

[weirdcharacter]

I'm so happy, my house is coming together nicely and I'm also working on the dino-park, hopefully I'll be done with the first step by next week or in two weeks time 🤗

[submalevolentgrace]

Hi! I'm very interested in attempting to write a disabled character (not for this blog, I assure, for an book I'm writing) in which the story doesn't fetishize/objectify her prosthetic limb. I'm in many writing circles and have been for a long while, but I've never seen this issue brought to light which I realise is a very important one. I have much to change in my thought process, and thank you for bringing this issue to attention.

I'm curious, and I apologise if this has been asked before, but what sort of design could you see for a functional prosthetic that doesn't go for a plainly aesthetic appearance, or is soully to please others? I do note that you said prosthetics are generally... not that helpful. So is there a way that it could be? Or do you think it would always generally be better to not use a prosthetic, as its mostly for aesthetic purposes, as you said?

I apologise if this ask is too outright or anything, and I don't mean to intrude. Thank you for your time and have a beautiful day!

okay, i want to answer this as in depth as possible, because whenever i talk about having a prosthesis, someone will always tag some variation of "#writing reference" and i do wonder what message they're taking away, and i want to get as much of my experience out as possible to maybe help shape how this is all portrayed in the future. and yeah… this is gonna be one of those rambly smg posts that the expand feature was invented for, so i'll start with the very abridged TL;DR:

if you're writing a character with an upper limb prosthesis; don't. arm amputees are unicorn level rare even compared to leg amputees, and i've never interacted with or even heard of an upper limb amputee that regularly uses a prosthesis, let alone relies on one. fiction has lied to you for the sake of cool aesthetics, don't repeat the cycle. more in depth writing advice including nuance and "but i waaaant to" will follow.

that said, grab your donning parachute and let's get started...

context for everyone involved: i am an upper limb amputee that rants a lot about how prostheses suck, i lost my right hand roughly five years ago at roughly the age of 30 after a very rough decline in health… it was pretty rough. this question is being asked in the context of a previous rant post of mine, and i checked that the ask is about an upper limb prosthesis in particular.

the situation regarding the usefulness of lower limb prostheses is totally different; i am definitely no expert, but by all accounts, prosthetic legs are incredibly useful for many people. getting a good leg can be absolutely life changing and more or less necessary for day to day life for some; mostly because infrastructure and society is just so fucking hostile to wheelchair users. being able to walk - at the cost of pressure sores and rashes and increased residual limb pain - is a preferable option to many people than being unable to fit through a doorway or in a bathroom stall or find out that the key to unlock the only elevator is in the admin office up three flights of stairs (true story).

but upper limb prostheses… see, the thing is, hands are incredibly complex organs that rely on a lot of immediate haptic feedback to work at all. hand dexterity is all about control, you need fine granular movements of the digits yes, but you also need the subtle sensations of pressure and proprioception in order to adjust your movements on the fly. i speak from experience, in the years leading up to the full loss of my hand, i was slowly losing function of it, usually swinging between numbness that made it clumsy at best, or screaming overstimulation from moving it at all resulting in unpredictable spasms… and let me tell you, a half working hand is infuriating to try and deal with. you can never know if you have a good grip on something or if it's slipping because of the wrong amount of pressure, and there's only so many smashed bottles of pickles on the floor before you give up using it all together… so amputation wasn't a great loss there, i had time to adapt.

a prosthetic hand of any kind has all of those issues and more. they're heavy and bulky, the cosmetic faux fingers or gripping claw have crude movement at best, and there's zero feedback (put a pin in this). 100% of the time you're using a prosthetic hand you have to keep your eyes on the grip and visually guesstimate whether or not the thing you're carrying is held tight enough but not too tight, that is if your "heavy duty" prosthesis can even support the weight without the servos disengaging or the wrist attachment socket just busting loose. i dropped a whippersnipper on my foot last week when my socket couldn't take the weight and i think that was the final straw in me desperately trying to prove to myself that there is a single task my prosthesis actually helps with.

this is usually where fully two handed people start talking about bleeding edge DARPA tech, and how we just need to invest more,research more, develop more. better tech, more tech, neural integration, more more more. okay i promise the writing advice is coming! for starters on tech, my experience is already with a mid-to-high end ottobock terminal device: i've got a myoelectric nerve-signal operated proportional control heavy duty greifer; about the only upgrade left for me to get would be a rotating wrist joint if i could coflex. it's not military, it's not "rockclimber that owns a prosthetic company", but it's quality tech. it still fucking sucks. secondly, that high level military tech exists primary for PR purposes so they can say they treat their discarded casualties well, "we can rebuild him, we have the technology" style. every war vet i've read about or heard from that's been gifted that high level tech also abandons it for the same reasons; it's imprecise, there's no feedback (or the haptic interface has to be fully recalibrated every time they put it on), but mostly they're more capable without one.

okay, the transhumanist ableds say (i should know, i used to be one), what if we did more ~research and development~ and got that neural feedback working? then we could have fireproof superhumanly strong robot arms to fix up everyone! here's where i take out that pin we put up before and i tell you that a class of prosthetic arms/hands already exists that has perfect proportional control, fine motor control, and physics perfect pressure feedback piped directly into the patients' existing sensory systems! they're called body-powered prostheses, and they were invented in like the 1600s. you strap a whole bunch of stuff to your arm and shoulders shoulders, and control the operation of the terminal device and elbow through cable tension by flexing your shoulders. they do take a considerable amount of training to operate - though hell i spent 18 months training to use my myo - but based on everything i've read, body-powered prostheses are the best option if you're an upper limb amputee and absolutely need a second hand for some reason.

but they don't look cool and futuristic, and according to my prosthetist, most people give up on using them too. we all give up on our prostheses, no matter the type. my rehab OT was impressed i lasted the 18 months of my training. towards the end, they even asked if the clinic director could drop in to one of my sessions to see my progress; he expressed genuine amazement at me casually using my bulky robot claw to use a brush and dustpan, and made an offhanded (hah) comment about what someone can achieve "if they stick it out to the end", implying it was somewhat of a rarity for me to have done so. several years on, and yesterday i wedged the dustpan between my ankles to sweep up into it, awkward but exponentially less effort than putting my dusty robot arm on. which, by the way, is a whole thing. look up some videos, they're all awful to don. i don't actually know the official technical name of what my clinic calls a "parachute" but it's a bitch to use! have you ever tried to pull back with your arm whilst also pushing it forwards at the same time, and simultaneously lean in to and away from an external force pulling on you? that's how you get a myo socket on.

bare with me, i promise writing advice is coming, and i promise it's more than the tl;dr. but. remember when i said a half working hand is infuriating to deal with? any prosthesis, from fancy myo tech to pirate-era body powered, will only ever be half as good as a working hand, and being juuuust within capability to do something but not quite able to is maddening! but you know what works way better than a half working hand? no hand at all. using whatever residual/vestigial limb you have - whatever "stump" you have, i hate that word - is pretty much always better than trying to use a prosthesis. i can use the inside of my elbow to grip and carry things, i can use the nub of my arm to apply pressure to hold things, open doors, use a computer mouse, turn on taps and lights, if i put a glove over it i can use it to prep for cooking. i have full proprioception and pressure feedback with skin contact, i don't think i've ever dropped and broken anything from my elbow, unlike countless things slipped from my greifer - which, by the way, absolutely will start clenching as tight as it can if i get even slightly too sweaty around the electrodes, which has both broken things i'm holding and also injured me, because surprise surprise but servo operated robot claws have pinch points on them right near the "emergency disengage" lever for some reason!

but i am exponentially more capable without it on than with it. no, i'm not fully independent, i rely on housemates and loved ones to help me out with some tasks that simply just need two handed dexterity, but none of those tasks are things a prosthesis makes me able to do anyway. i used to imagine my prosthesis would be like a bra; a bit awkward and uncomfortable, but i'd wear it throughout the day because it's helpful and take it off in the evening to decompress. in reality it's actually exactly like a bra: an absolute bitch to put on one handed, unbearably uncomfortable because it never sits right, ugly af unless you're a millionaire, and absolutely useless except for the fact that i get gawked at and judged by strangers if i leave the house without it on.

and if you really want to discover how far "no hand is better than a half working hand" goes, brace yourself, and look up the patient's stories (not medical system stories) of people that have had hand transplants. the first man to receive one hated it, he was promised a return to normal function, and what he got was a nightmare worse than being one handed; he wanted it removed again but the doctors refused because it would undermine their grand achievement of the first hand transplant. the doctors and society wanted him to be fixed, they wanted him to be normal, they wanted him to be abled. they failed. they made him less able to do things, denied his autonomy, and left him with someone else's hand slowly rotting on him, prioritising the idea of "scientific progress" and "two hands good" over the physical health, mental health, and ability to function of this man.

he's not alone; every story from the patients' perspective about hand transplants that i've read goes this way, including a woman who was born quad limb different and was promised hands would improve her life, pressured into a double hand transplant, only to find herself after the surgery essentially experiencing disability for the first time ever, because she had lived her whole life getting by just fine with her 'underdeveloped' limbs, but half working hands are worse than useless. you can try to find these stories yourself, but i'm not going looking for sources on any of these cases, because if you look back through enough of my posts you'll get a glimpse of the horrors and abuses that i too was put through by doctors who prioritised trying to "fix" me at any cost, rather than providing me the best quality of life, and in turn traumatised me and left me more broken than any loss of limb on its own could. dear goddess, i promise the writing advice is coming.

so. why do upper limb prostheses exist at all? if they're so terrible and useless, what is their function? i want to borrow something someone else left in the tags of a previous rant here, from someone who i believe works in prosthetics and/or rehab, cleaned up and anonymised at their request:

"upper limb functions are wildly more complex than: 1) bear weight static, and 2) bear weight moving. but every single upper limb amputee i know has a fancy expensive prosthetic just gathering dust in the closet because there is literally nothing it can do like a few years of adjustment and if needed non-dominant hand retraining can't do. the existence of forquarter prosthetics to begin with is just kind of silly and useless and entirely to make OTHER people feel comfortable, especially considering they universally are UNcomfortable for the amputee. i hate the notion that as soon as you get the amputation the prosthetic is The Thing That Will Fix You And Make You Feel Normal again because it universally isn't! but every forequarter person i know had like this ideal of Being Fixed By Magic Prosthetic that they were then obviously wildly disappointed by and had to do yet another grieving process with, versus if the dominant narrative were just one of: yeah. it'll take time, there is no magic fix."

and i think that really nails down what the actual purpose of upper limb prostheses is: they're not for the user, they're for the sake of other people. and not just their comfort when looking at our bodies, although based on the pressure for both amputees and people born limb different to get functionless cosmetic plastic hands, there is a lot of that. but it's not just that.

i fully believe that the reason prosthetic hands exists is to comfort the fears of the two handed. "don't worry", they say, "we can fix you again. you don't have to fear becoming Disabled, you don't have to worry about adapting or your life changing. we can make you Normal™ again."

you would not believe the number of people that have approached me to shower me with pity, to tell me how horrific my life is, how they can't imagine it. people have told me, apropos of nothing, that they'd kill themselves if they lost a hand. indirectly, that my life isn't worth living. unless, of course, i happen to be wearing my cool as fuck looking robot prosthesis! then they tell me how wonderful it is, how lucky i am, how glad they are that we have the technology to fix me. that's what a prosthetic hand says, what all the happy fishing photos on limbs4life posters at the rehab clinic say: don't worry, we can fix you. that's what the bleeding edge DARPA flexi-whatever fully articulated neuro-feedback hands say: don't worry if you get IED'd while hunting civilians for us to drone bomb, if you get hurt, we will fix you, we will fix the fuck out of you, we will motherfucking adam jensen you into a cool as fuck cyborg that your son will idolise; come on boys, don't you wanna enlist just for the chance at being as cool as this? join the bomb squad for a ticket to the upgrade lottery.

and so we arrive at fiction. as much as his dialogue options protest, adam jensen loves his robot arms, they punch through walls, turn into fucking swords! they make him the most special man in the world. what would he do without them? learn to cope? grieve? practice acceptance? take up poetry? just, be disabled? there's no power fantasy for ableds in that.

in fact, can you think of a single fictional character that's an upper limb amputee that's, well, just an amputee? they all have robot arms. not realistic prostheses, not medical devices; robot arms. sleek or bulky, top of the line or broken down self built, steampunk or nanomachines or magitech automail; they're never without them. never just an amputee. never born limb different either! there's always that element of tragedy to overcome, always suffering and misery porn, always focus on the pain and the helplessness without the absolutely vital robot arm that makes them Normal and Whole. the closest amputee example i can think of is furiosa from mad max, who iirc fucking punches max in the face with her residual limb like a motherfucking badass! i can barely lean on mine wrong and she punches a guy! but she still apparently needs a dieselpunk robot hand to drive a truck, something you can do one handed so easily most drivers don't even notice they're doing it! please don't, by the way

and so many disabled fans love to point to robot armed characters as disability representation; the winter soldier, luke skywalker, edward elric, misty knight, that genderswapped furry girl from ratchet and clank, jet cowboybebop, finn the human, and yes, adam jensen…. these are all characters that someone disabled i know has told me they love because they "represent disabled bodies"…. and i know nobody wants to hear this, because i've been screamed at for saying it before, but… they do not. they are not disabled, functionally or within fiction. they are either perfectly able bodied Normal people with chrome paint on an arm, or tortured misery porn we are supposed to pity and feel lucky we're not them. sometimes both!

also you ever notice how it's basically always arms? lower limb amputations are orders of magnitude more common than upper, my prosthetist said i was probably only the 4th or 5th upper limb she'd worked with in her career, with literally hundreds of lower limb fits. but fiction doesn't seem to reflect that, huh? or any other part of the reality of disability. it's always cool as fuck robot arms, never cool as fuck wheelchairs or crutches or dialysis machines or colostomy bags. a fair few "i was blind but now i can see with Robot Eyes and also infrared and xray" around, which again, plays into that "we can fix you and make you cooler" propaganda.

by the way, up above when i was describing body powered arms, if you wondered to yourself why i went with a myoelectric one instead when i clearly believe body powered is better… yeah. i am not immune to propaganda! i too wanted to be cool as fuck. i spent years with deteriorating function in my hand for reasons that are still unknown, was misdiagnosed and medically neglected to the point that removing my hand seemed to be the only option left to offer some relief, and even that was a clusterfuck that left me worse than ever… of course i wanted to believe in the power and prestige of a cool robot arm that fiction promised me.

but fiction promises fantastical lies. and so.

we get to the writing advice portion of the novella that is this post. you asked for advice on how to write a disabled character with an upper limb prosthesis. you've read the tl;dr, you've read everything above i assume, you know i don't want you to do it. the obvious twist is that it's been writing advice all along, me trying to share my perspective on what it's like being an amp with a robot arm and how shitty it is, implying how almost any fully realised and realistic character that's missing an upper limb would give up on a prosthesis at all. you can already tell that every value judgement in me says "don't give her a prosthesis, no matter how functional or cool you make it. don't try to make the tech better to justify it, just let her be one armed, one handed. just let her be disabled, but not helpless. let her show off her elbow or underarm carry strength. let her love interest appreciate how soft and squishy her residual limb is in a moment of tenderness. let her natural disabled body be respected and valued."

but that's a personal value judgement from me, and you are the author of your own work. i know it's trite to say, but you are! even the act of deferring to someone with lived experience in the hope of doing a better job at representation is a value judgement, a good choice in my opinion, but one you needn't necessarily take. maybe you do want to write a character that has a cool as fuck unrealistic robot arm as a power fantasy, or a comfort blanket… i did.

i've been slowly writing my own probably terrible scifi epic for over a decade now, and when my arm was giving me hell back then, i'd take great comfort in this fantasy of my protagonist with her chunky robot arm, the terrible traumatic suffering of her loss, overcoming, the power and ability her advanced prosthesis gives her over others, that she alone has access to, because others are not willing to make the sacrifices required. inspiration porn. awful stuff to me now, but empowering to me then. as i grew and gained direct experience, i slowly reimagined her, rewrote her, ship of theseus'd her into an entirely new character; a reflection of me now, bitter at the whole thing, spiteful that her natural flesh arm evokes fear and distrust, but unwilling to suffer the pain and frustration of her unnatural prosthesis just to make others comfortable and respect her as "whole", however artificial that whole is. and as with the ship of theseus being two ships, once i realised the transformation, i re-added the old protagonist back in whole cloth as a separate character; proud of her robot arm and its power, but in new context, as a foil and antagonist, an in-universe military prosthesis propaganda figure to reflect how i now feel characters like her exist to us, the readers.

i'm not just sharing that as egotistical self promotion, but to highlight that, even if i sit here begging you all up and down not to write characters with robot arms for how bad and unrealistic they are; there's still something genuine and true that their inclusion can say. the great thing about the story that you're writing is that only you can write it, as they say. but i whole heartedly believe that to write to your best, you have to be aware of what you're writing and why. as tempting as it is to feel these characters form naturally in us and therefore we're averse to changing traits about them that feel organic and self evident; as authors we have omnipotent control over the text, every trait and detail is a reflection on us, so we'd sure as hell better understand why we're choosing to write a character with this trait. because anything you write without being aware of intent will take on its own meaning in the space between.

and on that note, if i don't say this, i'm leaving it to be inferred: i definitely don't want to appear to come down on the side of saying "you cannot write an amputee unless you are one", because we are rarer than single young bisexual unicorns! and it would be a tragedy if anyone read through all this and then turned away in fear, deciding to never write an amputee character (with or without robot arm) because they feel they can't do it justice… believe me, no matter what anyone says, some hack writer somewhere is going to keep writing adam jensens and winter soldiers. don't let them be the only voices in fiction! just try to do your best.

so my ultimate advice on the topic of writing a character with a prosthetic limb is to ask yourself one question in two different frameworks, and meditate on what you feel the answer is:

why does she have a prosthesis?

from a doylelist perspective as the kids say, as an author with omnipotent control, why are you choosing to write about this topic? why are you choosing to give this trait to this character? what does it say about how you view ability and disability, what makes a person normal, and what our society values? will you let her be in her natural body? or will you give her a prosthesis, force her to wear it by authorial fiat, or author her a meaningful reason to choose to? if yes, be sure you know; why did you give her a prosthesis?

and from a wastonian perspective, diegetically, inside the story, why does she choose to wear a prosthesis? what does it say about her inner character, and how she interacts with the world? how does she feel about doing it, is she prideful and loves the attention she gets, or does she resent whatever necessitates its use? how do people in this world view ability and disability, what does this society value? and above all, whatever the answer to these questions, whether or not she uses a prosthesis or is badass without one, how does she deal with the eternal freezing cold that every amputee ever feels constantly in their residual limb and why does nobody make a heat pack that fits over a nub without drafty gaps???

i can't outright tell you how to write a good upper limb amputee, but if you at least know why you're writing one and for what purpose, you're on track to write the best character that you can. that's the best advice i can give… other than, like, this whole rambly mess.

and, as a reward for reading this far, please have a very blurry cryptid photo of my cat doing his old man sit:

[dragonnarrative-writes]

Transferrable Skills Part 1

Transferrable Skills Masterlist

Your therapist warned you about superstitious thinking. You've been working on it. In fact, you've been very good at catching it, challenging yourself to relax, and letting things go. Even before this big work trip, you consciously avoided the "unhelpful" rituals and reminded yourself that the little ones were just to make you feel secure, not to actually influence the future across an ocean.

"I'm very nervous," you had told Señor Snuggly two weeks ago. Your worn out stuffed lizard hadn't said anything back, of course. "That's normal, because it’s an international flight. So I'm going to give you a hug good-bye, and you're gonna stay here to watch the house. I know it's not going to change anything, but I'll feel better knowing you're here."

At the airport, you realized that you had forgotten your toothbrush. It had satisfied the part of your brain that was looking for one (1) thing to go wrong. Superstitious thinking, but the kind that helped you to relax and listen to music until you boarded.

Now, forced to sit on the floor, surrounded by shouting men with guns, your brain is stuck on your lopsided stuffed animal and blue toothbrush. Of all the things that could pop into your head, why those?

You almost let out a nervous giggle at the mental image of Señor Snuggly using your toothbrush as a shiv to save the day. And then the idea of what would happen if you started laughing right now almost startles you into another burst of giggles. You clap your hands over your mouth and curl into yourself a little bit more.

Next to you, your boss throws you a sympathetic look. "You okay?"

"No talking!" The nearest assailant yells in heavily accented English. You're pretty sure the attackers have been speaking Russian, but you could be mistaken. He brandishes his gun. "You want to die?"

"She needs to go to the restroom," your boss answers.

"No, I don't," you protest. You really, really do, and have for the last two hours. But being escorted out of the room alone seems like enough of a Bad Idea that your bladder can wait.

"No, she does not," the man confirms. "Shut up. Do not talk."

You meet your boss's eyes and try to silently convey, Why are you trying to get me killed?

His doughy face says back, I am a white man who goes to the gym once a week, and I really like the John Wick movies. I have delusions of being a hero. If one man takes you to the bathroom I have the mistaken belief that I can overpower two men with guns to save everyone. Also you're a black woman, so don't you have super powers? I believe in you, queen.

You may be projecting.

Ten minutes later, just as you're wondering if you should suggest a group field trip down the hall to the bathrooms, a series of gunshots rings through the building. The energy in the room goes from nervous to frantic in an instant. Your bladder shuts up. The Russian men start shouting and waving their guns, apparently too agitated to speak English. Two hostages start crying because no one else speaks Russian, just English, French and your half-forgotten, informal, Mexican Spanish.

Another three Russians come bursting in the room, snarling something you can’t understand. They grab at a couple of people, force them to stand at gunpoint and gesture to the rest of you. And then everyone is up and kind of moving in the direction of the door. But you can’t get out of the door because they’re blocking it, but they’re really agitated that the room is still full of hostages. And then some people are being pushed back down to the floor. Your boss ends up sitting back down again. A hard hand closes on your arm before you can get down, and you and four others are dragged out.

The leader says, “You all are dignitaries, yes? Your embassies will send money or they will watch you die.”

This is, potentially, the worst possible scenario. None of the five of you are even remotely important, let alone dignitaries. You’re not 100% sure about most of the others, but you’re an aid. An aid to an aid, really. The blonde woman with the remarkably sharp bob is a personal assistant. Today’s conference was about health data management, of all things.

You decide you’re not going to die with a full bladder. You look to the man holding your arm in an iron grip and point to the upcoming door on the right. “Can I please go to the restroom? I’ll be quick.”

He asks the leader something in Russian, and then you’re being shoved through the bathroom door. He doesn’t follow you into the stall, but it’s still so awkward to pee knowing that there’s a man with a gun waiting for you. You’re so glad you aren’t on your period - opening the wrapper on anything right now would feel louder than it has since middle school.

The door to the restroom opens just as the toilet finishes flushing. You hear a scuffle, an aborted shout, and then something heavy hits the floor. You freeze, heart racing. But then there’s no more sound.

You wait for what feels like an hour but must only be a minute before calling, “H-hello?”

You don’t get an answer. Unlocking the door and easing it open, you peek out and stifle a gasp. The man who had escorted you is on the ground, a pool of blood growing around him. His gun is gone.

You’re halfway through washing your hands before you realize you’re on autopilot.

It takes everything in you to fight down the urge to freeze in place and make yourself inch around the body to the door. When you poke your head out, the hall looks so normal that it makes you dizzy for a second. You try to decide what to do through the anxiety fog. You can’t hide in the bathroom with a dead body, and you probably can’t go back to the big room with everyone without getting shot. You have no idea where the other faux-dignitaries were taken. Apparently, there’s at least one person going around killing people in bathrooms.

You try to think of what your therapist would say in this situation. All of the options feel bad, she would say. So you can’t not do anything because it feels bad. Thank the anxiety for trying to keep you safe, then try to pick the least awful course of action.

“Fight, flight, freeze, fawn,” you whisper to yourself. Fighting is right out. “Flight, freeze, fawn.” There’s a body pouring blood right behind you. “Flight, fawn.” No one is around to appease. “Flight.”

Another gunshot and shouting. It sounds like it’s coming from the left, so you head right.

You shuck off your sensible kitten heels and fervently wish your otherwise sensible pantsuit wasn’t pastel purple in this very beige hallway. Not that a thicker-than-European-average black woman mincing around in a Swiss hotel and conference center would be inconspicuous in a black suit, your mind counters itself. You try to force your brain to shut up, with mixed success.

You wander a good five minutes, reminding yourself not to panic at every locked door you try. The halls are so quiet that you half convince yourself that you’ve gotten out of immediate danger. So of course, right as you’re about the round the next corner, one of the Russians appears, reeling backwards. And then he collapses, a knife sticking out of his neck.

You can’t really worry about that, though, because right after him comes one of the largest men you’ve ever seen. He must catch sight of you out of the corner of his eye, because his head snaps to look at you. You barely register the assault rifle in his hands because his eyes bore into you through the top half of a human skull.

Oh, I’m glad I already peed, you think, staring into the eyes of Death.

“Fuckin’ ‘ell,” the man says, growls really. “What are you doing here?”

“I… bathroom? Please don’t kill me. I’ll cooperate.” you squeak out. Oh, fawning! Cool.

“Price, I’ve got one of the hostages,” he says, nonsensically. “I’ve cleared the east wing.”

You jump when his walkie-talkie - of course it’s a walkie-talkie - squawks back an “Affirmative. Status?”

“She’s up and walking,” the man says, not taking his eyes from yours. “Seems uninjured.”

“Stow her somewhere safe.”

“Negative,” Death says. Before you can panic because what the fuck does that mean? he says, “Bringing her back with me.”

“Copy.”

When he takes a step toward you, you stop breathing. Everything in you is screaming RUN and DON’T MOVE at the same time. His second step in your direction results in a full body twitch. You get the impression that the gun is pointed at the ground, but the only thing you can really see is bone white over a black mask and what might be really pretty brown eyes, but the shadow from the overhead light really makes it hard to tell and your vision is going a bit darkaroundtheedgesandohI’mstillnotbreathingthat’snotgreat.

You’re shocked into gasping when a gloved palm touches the side of your face. The rough material helps you settle into your body, just in time to start hyperventilating.

And that’s when things get weird, because Death says, “Easy, lovie. Settle, f’ me, yeah? Deep breaths, like we’ve practiced.”

Your brain latches on to the familiar command to settle before you can even question why it’s familiar. The way the man makes a long, low shushing noise makes you so suddenly weak in the knees that you stagger where you stand.

And then it clicks. Holy shit. You know this voice. You know these commands. You’ve been listening to and learning them at least once a week for the last six months. He doesn’t even sound that different from over the phone or on a video call.

“There you go, that’s good,” Simon, the dominant you’ve been seeing online, tells you through his skull mask. “Keep breathin’. In through the nose, out through the mouth.”

It’s the second time in your life you’ve been surprised out of a panic attack. “W-what the fuck? Si?” you gasp. “What are you doing here? Did you kill that guy?”

“Questions are gonna have to wait,” he says. “Keep breathing. In for four, hold for two. In for two, out for eight. Can you do that?”

“Why are you in Switzerland?”

“Breathe,” he rumbles. “Settle.”

“No,” you hiss, even as your shoulders relax another fraction. The corners of your eyes start prickling with tears.

“This is a double red light situation,” Si says, staring into your eyes. “I know you’re scared, but I’m going to get you out of here. You trust me?”

“You are wearing a skull on your face.”

“And you’re wearing a purple suit,” he answers. “There are people who want to shoot both of us. You get one more outburst, then you’re breathing and following me. Acknowledge.”

What the fuck? “This isn’t a scene!”

His eyes bore into yours. “Might surprise you, but I’m aware. Acknowledge.”

A distant shout makes you flinch. You relent. “Acknowledged. Four in, hold two, two in, out eight. Follow.”

“Good girl,” he says, patting your cheek once. “Stay behind me.”

[schemmentigfs]

Future Milf, part two.

part one!

paring: melissa schemmenti x reader.

summary: after the incident in the teacher's lounge, you start to avoid melissa who is willing to know what happened and trying to get things back to normal.

warnings: just a little angst but trust me, we have a happy ending!

author notes: This is a little rushed, but I hope you all enjoy this second part 🤍 I also wanted to thank the beautiful people who are sending requests for Mel, they are amazing and i'm already working on them! And don't worry, feel free to send any idea that comes to mind. It will be an honor for me to turn them into reality.

tags: @esposadejoyhuerta @gweninred @moistblobfish

English is not my first language, so I apologize for any mistakes!

The truth was that Melissa was completely disoriented, her brain trying to process what had happened in the last seven minutes. You acting like that and apologizing, leaving the room as quickly as possible made her worried as hell.

All she wanted was to comfort you and know what was really happening. There were a lot of doubts in her mind, to be honest. Had she done something? Or said something? The way you couldn't look into her green eyes was so strange..

Everything between you two was great until today, and then it all suddenly fell apart at lunchtime? That made her feel a little paranoid.

“Melissa, are you well? Are you hurt?” Barb asks.

“I don't know,” she said, staring into nothing, worrying her friends, “I just need to check on her.” The redhead gets up and runs to start looking for you.

“MELISSA! WAIT!” the entire Abbott crew screams, but she completely ignores it.

She stops in front of your classroom and notices that the door is locked. The lights are off, but Melissa knows you're in there.

“Sweetheart, please let me in,” she knocks gently, “I am not mad with ya. Don't worry about it, I just want to know how you are.” The older woman adds, almost begging for you to open the door.

Locked inside your classroom, you were sitting on the floor. Curled up hugging your knees, trying to find some comfort while crying. The whole situation was so fucking stupid, of course. But it still left you overwhelmed and on the verge of an anxiety attack.

So lending Melissa the future milf t-shirt made you completely lose your mind? Wow, you really were a stupid person. Stupid. That word stuck in your brain and made you cry even more.

Hearing your quiet sobs made the redhead's heart break into pieces. The thought of her doing something that made you hurt was utterly painful. The truth was that Melissa would blame herself for the rest of her life if she had made you feel bad in any way.

“Hon, c'mon. Let me—” she started.

“Don't. Melissa, please. Just go away, I need to be alone,” you interrupt her, hoping she would understand that you didn't have the strength to say anything else.

Before walking away, she whispers loud enough for you to hear. “If you need anything, you know where to find me. But please, promise me you'll be okay.” The redhead said trying to wipe away the small tears that threatened to fall from her face.

“I'll be fine. Now go.” You growl, unaware that your words have fully gotten to her.

—

It had been a while since Melissa changed her mood so quickly. She had learned to control her emotions, thanks to you, who helped her notice that it was okay to show them from time to time and it wasn't shameful at all. But at that moment everything seemed useless.

Her legs were shaking slightly and she kept tapping her fingers on the desk, while trying to focus on correcting some of the children's homeworks. It was clear that Melissa was almost having a huge panic attack.

Ashely, who was now scrolling through her cell phone boredly after making sure the students were doing their activities calmly and in silence, noticed the sudden change in the redhead and her eyebrows raised in confusion.

“What’s the matter, boss? You seem a little quiet since lunch time. Which is strange ‘cause earlier you were all excited and—”

The older woman rolls her eyes. “Nothing happened. I'm fine,” she responds, clenching her teeth, “everything is ok, kid.”

“Are you sure? I know we’re not that close, but if you need to vent, I’m all ears.” The girl shrugs.

Melissa's eyes widen, her aide was really willing to give her some advice? Normally, Ashley didn't tend to be very serious. When she tried to help, the girl always ended up saying things that were a bit nonsense. But this time, she was here ready to be a shoulder to lean on.

“Y/n..” she started but quickly corrected herself, not quite ready to confide the crush she had on you to anyone else than Barbara. “Today, a strange thing happened between me and a friend that honestly left me completely confused.”

“Oh. Do you have any idea what might have happened?”

Melissa stops for a moment, trying to get her head to work and think of a reason that could explain what had happened between the two of you.

“I-I can't explain it properly...everything was normal between us and when lunch time came...” the teacher stuttered, “she could barely look at me and when I told her to act like a real adult and tell me what was happening, she panicked and ran away.”

“After that you were able to talk to her?”

“Kinda, but she told me to leave her alone.”

Ashley gives her a pitying look, she knew who Melissa was referring to. Anyone who works at Abbott would know. “I'm sorry this happened boss, but I'm sure things will get better between you and her. Just give her a little time.”

Melissa nodded and smiled. “Thanks for the advice, hon.”

“Anytime boss, anytime.”

—

Changing my life with the wave of her hand.

Nobody can deny that there's something there.

There.

Running my hands through her hair.

Both of us thinking how good it can be.

Someone is speaking, but she doesn't know he's there.

The melody of Here, There And Everywhere by The Beatles echoed throughout the kitchen directly from the small radio on the balcony, while Melissa prepared dinner.

This was one of the many songs she always wanted to dedicate to you, the redhead dreamed of dancing with her arms around you, after a busy day at school while this song played. Just the two of you, enjoying each other's company.

Was it quite cliché? Of course it was, even for the one and only Melissa Schemmenti. But to be honest, she didn't care how it sounded.

The older woman was so in love with you that she thought of endless romantic scenarios every day. After what happened today, every one of them seemed distant. But she still had a simple hope within her.

“Watching her eyes, and hoping I'm always there,” she sings passionately, while cutting the tomatoes perfectly, “I want her everywhere, and if she is beside me. I know I need never care, but to love her is to need her everywhere.” Melissa closes her eyes for a moment, thinking about you.

On the way out, she looked for you in the Abbott parking lot but was unsuccessful, she was waiting for a message from you, saying that you had arrived home safely like you always did.

But you didn't send her anything.

A feeling ran through her body. It was as if the redhead was losing the most precious thing in her life. Desperate, Melissa picked up her cellphone that was leaning on the living room table and went to check on you. Screw the advice Ashely gave earlier, she couldn't wait anymore.

Hon, are you feeling better? I hope so. By the way, did you manage to get home safely?

Sorry if I sound desperate, but I need to know if things are ok.

Y/n? Please answer me.

Her heart breaks into pieces when she sees that you just viewed the message and didn't even make the effort to reply back. For fuck’s sake, what had she done that was so serious? Nothing made sense anymore.

Just a few blocks away, you were lying on the couch and drinking an entire bottle of vodka, pretending like you didn't care about not responding to Melissa's messages. It was immature, but it seemed to make sense to you. Since this whole milf situation was a complete disaster, ignoring her seemed right.

Of course, inside you felt like a monster, knowing that the redhead didn't deserve this. But what you could do?

“I’m ready to open another bottle and listen to a two-hour-plus loop of Chamber of Reflection,” you say, making Ava sigh.

The principal had stopped by your house hours ago to check on you and when she saw the miserable state you were in, she decided to stay there for a while. And tried to comfort you (in the most Ava Coleman way possible.)

“Y/N. Come on, you can't act like Schemmenti doesn't exist. If you keep doing that, she'll soon break into your place to find out what's going on,” she comments, “just like an episode of a soap opera where the greatest absurdities happen in an exactly dramatic way.” Ava finished her sentence while painting her nails a shade of red. The act catching your attention.

Red. It reminded you of Melissa.

Yeah, this was being harder than it seemed.

“Shut up, she won't come after me,” you said it like it was just another one of the stupid things Ava used to say.

“Yes, she will. And y’know that very well.”

—

The next day, Melissa sat with her arms crossed at the table she shared with Barb and you. The redhead stared at the small tupperware in front of her, last night she made what she knew was your favorite dish: pancakes. She was anxiously waiting for you to show up in the break room, but that didn't happen.

Keep calm, Schemmenti. She will appear soon. She won't ignore you.

“Dear..” the kindergarten teacher whispers and she snorts, trying to change the subject, disguising how tense she was.

“What’s so interesting out there?” Melissa asks as she notices Janine, Gregory and Jacob looking at each other with strange expressions after spying in the window.

“Nothing.” Jacob is the first to respond and the couple agrees with him, swearing that there was nothing interesting outside.

She laughs humorlessly, the history teacher simply didn't know how to lie.

“C'mon, kiddo. You guys look like you've seen a ghost.” The redhead gets up from the table and approaches the three, squinting to see anything out of the ordinary and when she does. Her breathing hitches.

On the sidewalk, there were you and another teacher, who she recognized as the art teacher. The woman was happily chatting with you and leaning too close to Melissa's chagrin.

Ms. Evans was know for her big crush on you, she was always fighting with the redhead to have your attention. And now that Melissa was being ignored by you, this bitch thought she could have you all to herself? No way.

“YOU GOTTA BE FUCKING KIDDING ME!” she yelled coming down to get some satisfaction from you.

The sound of angry footsteps caught your attention, it was clearly that they belong to who you had been avoiding since yesterday, Melissa.

The wish was for the redhead to pass straight by without noticing your presence there. But instead, she approached and with a certain force grabbed you by the arm, taking you to one of the far corners of the building.

“Melissa! What the fuck?” you said.

“So while I was worried to death there in the staff room because you didn't talked to me since yesterday, you were here talking normally to that idiot!” the older woman's tone was altered, you could clearly hear the jealousy in her voice, “Had fun with your new best friend?”

“She’s not my best friend. We were just talking,” the nonsensical accusation makes you roll your eyes, letting out a mocking chuckle. “Melissa, stop acting like that!” you shout and she loses her temper even more.

“You suddenly act like a bitch and I’m the one to blame? What the fuck is wrong with you, Y/n?” she growls, fire in her green eyes.

“I dunno, a lot of things I suppose,” you retort coldly.

Melissa sighs when she realizes how tough she was. “Look, I don’t want to be an idiot. But please tell me what I did, so I can fix it.”

“We have nothing to fix between us, Schemmenti.”

“What? Are you really going to ignore it and pretend like none of this is happening?” The redhead asked in disbelief.

“Trust me. It’s better this way, for both of us,” you mumble, walking away from her, leaving an upset Melissa behind.

—

After the ‘argument’ on Tuesday, Melissa and you barely crossed paths at Abbott. And when you bumped into each other in the hallway, both grumbled and went back to your own ways.

The redhead and you were fighting the need to put the damned pride aside and throw yourselfs into each other's arms, and finally apologizing. But you were too stubborn for that and it was fucking complicated.

“This is stupid! Can you believe that Y/n started going to that coffee shop that's just a few blocks away from here just so she wouldn't have to face me at lunch? This whole thing is starting to irritate me.” Melissa tells to her best friend one morning.

“I understand that this situation is complicated, but don’t you think that both of you are exaggerating?” Barb asked carefully. Even she couldn't handle this situation anymore, it was disappointing to have to see you and Melissa acting like two children.

Ava who was listening to the conversation cautiously, decided to interrupt. “Schemmenti, haven’t you put the pieces together yet? Unbelievable.” She said as if it was something of small importance, making the redhead's eyebrows raise in confusion.

“Huh?”

“It’s so simple, I thought you already figured it all out,” the principal continues in a mysterious tone, making Melissa's head spin, “If it weren’t for this bullshit, you and Y/n would already be like two rabbits jumping on top of each other, if you know what I mean.”

The last comment makes Barb choke on her tea. “Ava, could you not be so specific about this? We’re in a school!” she scolds her.

“Whatever! It’s past time for her to know that Y/n likes her too. Even Janine and Gregory acted better than that!”

Everything around Melissa seemed to have gone silent. So was it true, the feelings were also reciprocal. A lot of questions surrounded her mind, why didn't you say anything? Why did you decide to pretend you weren't in love with her? Were you afraid of not being reciprocated?

“Why is she avoiding me then?” the redhead asks out loud, “that’s making me lose my mind. I just miss her.”

“Because of the t-shirt she lend ya. Mainly ‘cause of the last word printed on it.” That's all Ava says at that moment.

“A milf?” Melissa questions, still confused trying to think of putting the pieces together. “What does that mean? Is it something bad?”

“I was going to suggest you to google the meaning, but since you look like you're about to have a heart attack, I will tell ya,” she laughs and the redhead rolls her eyes, showing Ava her middle finger, “but don't be scared, it's a good thing, actually.”

“Alright..” the green-eyed woman whispers, still afraid of the answer, “so what does this whole milf thing means?”

“Mother I'd Like To Fuck. It also means that an older woman is super attractive.”

Melissa was left open-mouthed, her eyes blinking trying to process the explanation. So that was the damn meaning, well, she had to admit that was hot. “Wait... so Y/n..” she starts but there is a pause.

“Is in love with you and was scared when she saw ya wearing that t-shirt looking extremely hot, and preferred to stay away in case you found out what she felt.” Ava reveals it like it's the most obvious thing in the world, “What are you waiting for? Go find your girl, Schemmenti.”

—

Time passed slowly to Melissa's disgust and despair, making the poor woman sigh feeling defeated. As each second passed, she glanced quickly at the clock on her classroom wall, waiting for the afternoon to end.

After her students left, and the school day was finally over. She drove to your house — without caring about traffic regulations and rules — nothing else really mattered, she just needed to see you.

Sitting on the floor, while assembling a Lego set that simulated a beautiful bouquet of flowers — a gift you received from Janine and Gregory days ago, a lovely attempt by the couple to cheer you up — the sound of the doorbell ringing caught your attention. Making you stop your movements.

You furrowed your eyebrow in confusion, who could it be? Most of your friends were at different appointments at that time. So it certainly wasn't one of them.

“I'm almost coming! I just hope you’re not a stupid lunatic or some other ,” you grumbled, standing up as the sounds of the doorbell seemed more desperate with each passing second.

You opened the door and found Melissa standing there with her arms crossed, shivering slightly from the storm. “Hon, it’s so good to see you again.” She murmurs with a weak smile. Without caring if her voice sounds too desperate.

“Mel, what are you doing here? You might catch a damn cold like that.” You scolded her, pulling her into the house and locking the door again.

“I don’t care about that, I needed to see you. Actually we have to talk.” She responds taking off the black leather jacket that covered her body and hanging it where you kept your coats.

“We have to?” There is a little hesitation in the tone of your voice, all that courage and confidence have disappeared from your body. Insecurity taking over.

“Yeah, hon. We do.” She replied, noticing your nervousness, Melissa tries to comfort you, placing her hand on your shoulder and stroking it lovingly, showing that everything was fine. You smile for the first time in days in the presence of your beloved redhead.

She takes you to the small white sofa that was in the middle of the living room. “I know you were avoiding me because of that shirt. And I know you're in love with me.”

“What? Fuck, how did you figure all this out?” you whisper in panic, covering your face with your hands. Feeling vulnerable at the mercy of the red-haired figure sitting next to you.

A silence fell in the room, making you feel even more embarrassed.

“Ava told me those things earlier today. Hon, why didn't you tell me anything? That would have made everything so much easier.”

“What do you mean by making things easier? I don't understand.”

“I'm love with you too, idiot. I just didn't say before ‘cause I was insecure as fuck. But now, I know exactly what I want: you. No one else, just you.” She confessed with a smile on her face.

Automatically your body falls even more on the couch and you feel slightly dizzy. Closing your eyes slowly, trying to regain consciousness. “Sorry, I'm a bit nervous,” you respond. “It's too much to process. Jesus Christ.”

“Don’t be nervous, it’s me. Just me,” Melissa pulls you into her lap sighing as she smells your lavender scent again. “I'm sorry if I acted like a bitch the last few days. It was not necessary.”

“It was never your fault, I was the real bitch. You didn’t deserve to go through this just because of an irresponsible attitude of mine,” you say, resting your foreheads together.

“I think it's fair to say that we overreacted a bit,” the older woman smiles with her eyes closed. Feeling a slight courage run through her body, she asks you something. “Sweetheart?”

“Yeah?”

“Can I kiss you?” Melissa asks biting her lip and slowly approaching, “I wanna do this since New Year's Eve.”

“Yes, please, Mel.” You beg wrapping your arms around her neck.

The moment her lips touched yours, it felt like you were in heaven. Melissa's lips were soft against yours. The kiss was calm and peaceful, both wanting to show all the love you felt for each other.

“You know, being considered a milf is an honor for me.” Melissa scoffs with a mischievous smile as you pull away from the kiss.

“Shut up.” You chuckle, cupping her cheeks.

“Make me,” the redhead teases, “please.”

[muxshwriting]

my good luck charm

Carlos Sainz x Indian!reader

summary: everyone is looking at Carlos at his home gp to win. but Carlos isn't bothered by the pressure, he's too busy looking at you || word count: 1092 || masterlist

REQUESTED by @malvikareader : Carlos and Indian reader meet at Spanish gp and he is mesmerised by her

It was utter chaos. Everyone was looking at Carlos as the homeboy hero of the Spanish GP, saddled with the expectation to win his home race. He had been dragged from interview to interview by his PR manager but all he wanted to do was have a moment to himself to breathe and relax before the race. Yes, he was driving a Ferrari, one of the top performing teams of the season and Carlos had been one of the few drivers to win a race so far.

You, on the other hand, were having the time of your life in the F1 paddock. You'd been invited by your agency as a PR stunt for your new modelling campaigns. You were infamous, one of the most successful models of your time. Not only were you stunning, you cared about real issues. You were trying to work towards a brighter future, focusing on issues such as climate change and poverty across the world.

Carlos was stuck at yet another interview where they asked him the same questions as the others. He replied with the same generic answer he'd given everyone else, casting his mind away from the interview and subtly glancing around the rest of the paddock to see what was going on. It just so happened to be when you were walking past the interview pen, locking eyes with Carlos.

Whatever answer he was giving began to come out stuttered as Carlos stumbled over his words, utterly captivated by you. The world seemed to slow as you waved at some of the fans scattered next to the track, laughing at something one had said. God, why did you have to laugh like that? Carlos could barely breathe. He wanted to be the one to make you laugh like that, no one else, just him.

"Carlos? Hello?" The interviewer was trying to get his attention and Carlos begrudgingly looked away from you.

"Sorry." He quickly apologised. "Can you repeat the question?"

★--~-~--★

Ever since catching your eye, Carlos had been searching for you in the paddock. No one seemed to know who he was referring to (given the sheer number of celebrities on the grid) but it didn't dissuade Carlos. The race was a couple hours away as Carlos weaved his way through the garage before being stopped by his race engineer.

"Carlos! I think media is looking for you to meet some ambassadors for sponsors and stuff." He explained, pointing to the office area.

"This can't wait until after the race?" He was distracted enough already, he didn't need to add simpering up to sponsors to his list.

His engineer simply shrugged. "Sorry man."

Carlos sighed, takes a deep breath and then makes his way to the media manager's office. To his surprise and shock (and delight) he sees you quietly talking to someone else. Also to his delight, he sees you wearing a ferrari jacket you didn't have earlier, a jacket that had his driver number plastered on the back.

"Hello." Carlos internally kicks himself for just saying 'hello' to the most beautiful woman he's ever seen.

You're first to introduce yourself. "Hi! I'm Y/N, an ambassador for Ray Ban. It's really nice to meet you considering I watch you race almost every week-" You seemed to cut yourself off from rambling on after meeting him.

Carlos only grows more lovestruck. "No problem. You'll be watching today?" He assumed you were but wants any excuse to keep talking to you.

"Yeah." You offer him a small smile. "You'll do great, I'm sure."

"You think?"

Your smile only grows. "Oh yeah. I'll be cheering you on."

"I'll make sure to win for you." He sends you a wink that has your cheeks warming at an alarming rate.

He's pulled into conversation with a few other ambassadors but continues to catch your eye from across the room. Eventually, he's pulled back down to the garage floor to get ready for the race and has to say goodbye to you.

You go for a hug that Carlos greatly welcomes. "Good luck." You whisper to him. "You'll do great."

You end up in the back of the Ferrari hospitality, anxiously watching the race. Carlos started on the second row, working his way through the front runners and navigating a risky pit stop strategy by his team. He had taken the lead of the race six laps from the end, holding off Verstappen until the end of the race and finishing in first place.

The garage went nuts, mechanics jumping up and down with glee. You could hear the crowds cheering for their driver's win at his home circuit and joined in with the celebrations. You find yourself swept with the crowd as they rush down to the podium area to watch the cars arriving. Carlos jumped straight out of the car and into the arms of his team. As the adrenaline began to wear off, he caught sight of you standing by the side of his engineers.

Your face held a look of awe as he walked closer. There were a few stray tears (of joy) in your eyes as you hugged his tightly. "I told you you'd do great."

"All for you." He confessed, pulling away and seeing Charles behind him with a smug grin on his face. "I've got to go but- can I see you later?"

"I'll come to your driver's room, yeah?"

Carlos' smile widened. "I'll be waiting for you."

You watched in admiration as Carlos stood in the Spanish sunshine, soaking in his victory. He couldn't stop his eyes from drifting to you, ignoring the cameras that were watching him and watching where his eyeline kept straying to. Both of you were oblivious to the eyes watching you, unable to look away.

You both met just outside Carlos' room, embracing properly. He pulled you into the room, away from prying eyes and you took your chance, diving forward and pressing your lips against his. Carlos froze beneath your touch, making you regret your actions and begin to pull away to give him space.

Carlos did the opposite, he deepened the kiss, reaching up to hold your face in his hands and pull you even closer. The two of you separated, sharing the same breath in the small room.

"Can I come watch you again?" You whisper into the air, suggesting a future.

Carlos met your eyes with a solemn look. "I wouldn't want anything else. Besides," He joked. "You're my good luck charm now, you can't leave me with bad luck."

[onlyyourhallucination]

I love your fics. They get me want to grab the popcorn and enjoy it like a well done movie/show. Anyhow, your requests? For the 200 followers? Is it still open? If so! I got a plot idea for you. Okay, imagine this. Reader [female], is a trailblazer on the Astral Express. One of the badass members ofc. They got chemistry building up with Dan Heng and/or pinning hard for each other. BUT, somehow the reader is sent way back to the past... To the before the Sedition of Imbibitor of Lunae / when the High-Cloud Quintet wasn't disbanded. Reader , while trying to hide their origins and where they came from, tries to blend in. They can't change the past but dragged into the High-Cloud group. They also try to hard to distance themselves from Dan Feng, who is somehow attached/attracted to reader. Like he tries to confess... But reader is like trying to let him down gently. Eventually, the reader the reader sent back to the future. They get together finally with Dan Heng. You can add/change whatever you want to this request. Just make it happy ending. If you want to clear things up, jut message me. Thanks!

Past, Present, Love

Pairing : Imbibitor Lunae [ Dan heng ] x Reader

A/n : I am quite not sure if the Danheng you requested is already in his IL form yet, so I'll.. Just write it when he is already in his IL form.

Also thank you for your support! 🩵

Him constantly worrying over small things that happened to you, whenever you got hurt he'll scold you, gently for being reckless.

Him always going with you wherever you go, as long as you're safe and okay, he said.

Everyone know how obvious he is when it comes to his feelings, him doing something outside what he usually do just for you

Him going outside his boundaries for you, so that you can, pay attention to him.

Protective over you. Perhaps, a little bit overprotective for you who haven't even start dating yet.

What are you doing? Why are you not confessing yet?

Have I mention how he is easily flustered around you? For whatever that you do to make him feel embarrassed.

His face may not show it, but the shaky sigh and his tail that sways and hit the floor ever so slightly from the frustration and embarrassment.

Him constantly clearing his throat for no absolute reason is a sign for you that he is beyond flustered.

It was just one of the casual day, sitting on the high class, and fancy red couch in the express while playing with your phone.

Dan heng is in the archives, doing his thing. Like usual, you're getting bored, so you asked for himeko's permission to go visit xianzhou, she raised an eyebrow at the request, but eventually lets you. She was about to ask if she should call for Danheng to company you, because, aeons, he will despise the idea of you going out alone.

But you rejected the offer and wanted to go alone, she was a bit skeptical, but then oblige to your wishes. And so you left the express, alone.

To xianzhou you went, walking around, eventually ended up at scalegorge waterscape, the place where Danheng split the ocean into half. You remember that scene like the back of your hand, he looks majestic when he did so.

You were walking towards the statue, the most appealing to you, slowly approaching it looking up at it.

Dan Feng, huh.

You thought to yourself, your hand slowly reaching out to the statue, but before you could touch it, a bright light suddenly comes out of nowhere, making you instinctively covering your eyes.

Ringing in your ears lasted for a few second, after the ringing is out, you slowly shook your head and open your eyes. Blinking multiple times as you tried to register what just happened,

"I, never seen you around before" a familiar voice rings into your ear, you turned to see a familiar figure. You can't deny that, it's, Danheng. But, something's not right.

The familiar figure stared down at you, rising a brow confusedly at you. You both ended up staring in silence for a good minute, "Can you talk?" He cuts off the silence as he approached you. "Yeah, definitely. Uh, sorry for staring." You apologized, you frowned upon the way he talks.

He talks like he doesn't know you, well is it not obvious from how he said that he never see you before. And the next second another family face appeared, blade? With white hair, you are now getting even more confused.

Until you see Jingyuan that's, rather young.

You're sent to the past, well shit, you cursed under your breath. You definitely have to find a way to go back. To your timeline.

But the day after your encounter with Dan, Feng. He had always been, around you more than you expected him to be.

The more you tried to avoid him, the more times you'll see him around. Him constantly being close to you, and helped you with his gentle touch and healing whenever you got hurt.

"Becareful next time" , "Try not to be reckless, think before taking action" , "Why do I care? Hm, I do not know, It's an instinct I believe."

You don't know what to feel, and everything does not go according to your plan when he dropped subtle hints of him taking interest in you.

"Is there anything you like to do?" , "I bought this for you," .."oh, you, don't want it? ... it's okay."

Aeons, you pray that he stopped doing that, numerous times you tried to reject him. But the way he looked dejected made you feel guilty, the way his eyes lowered in disappointment when you rejected his offers, presents even, so you, accepted a few. Just to ease the guilt, but you know very well that it's useless for him to give things to you.

You can't bring them back to your timeline, you stared down at the simple present he gave you, it's a pair of earrings.

You remember how his face lightens up when you accepted his present, you sighed softly at the memory. You gently graze your finger tips at the esrrings, now you miss him.

Him who? Dan heng. The man that you know, that you love. You wonder if he will look for you, you don't know how long it has been ever since you got sent back to the past.

You accidentally got involved into the high cloud group, it was not the intention to get involved but dan feng. That man is quite stubborn that he unconsciously dragged you into the group.

You silently prayed every night for you to open your eyes not in the room you're currently in, but back to the express or back to the scalegorge waterscape.

. . .

And you did.

Thanks to that same ear ringing, followed with the light that shines bright out of nowhere.

You opened your eyes once again, and instead of staring at the ceiling of the unfamiliar room. You're greeted with the smell of the sea, also open skies.

You slowly rised from the ground, you look next to you, the statue standing tall and soon after you heard footsteps from the distance. The step quickens as you tried to look who's coming over, but before you could process what happened, you're engulfed into someone's arms.

You can feel the person's heart beating so fast, when you registered who the person is, you immediately wrapped your arms around the figure.

Danheng, he' shaking. Trembling in fear? Worry? "Dan h-" "Please. Don't do that again." He cuts you off, he sounded so desperate, his hug tightens around you.

He buried his face at the crook of your neck, his breathing slows down, matching yours. His arms slowly loosen as he took a step back, his teal eyes staring at yours.

He clenched his teeth as he looked away, "Dan heng.." he moved his eyes back towards you. "... I'm sorry" you whispered, his eyes widen slightly. He opened his mouth, but then he closed it again. He then frowned, before he looked at you once more.

Slowly leaning close to you, you instinctively leaned closer too, "I like you" you whispered before both of your lips collided.

The kiss is soft, and gentle. But it feels like he stole your breath away when he pulled away, "..I, kept.. going around, and around" he said in a whisper. "I thought.." he stopped half way as he pull you closer into him by the waist, "... Don't leave without me" he said as he buried his face at the crook of your neck once more.

"I won't, I promise.."

. . .

You were just taking off your coat until you heard something fell out, you frowned and looked down to see a small box that's, rather. Familiar.

"oh my god.." you slowly reached out to it, you hesitantly opened it. And it reveals, the earrings Dan Feng gave you. Your fingers grazed along the lines of the earrings, and the next second you felt a pair of arms around your waist.

"What is that?" A familiar voice appeared right next to your ear, "..A pair of earrings" you replied. You can feel him frowning, "It's not from anyone, don't worry. I, ... bought it because it's, ..pretty." you explained. He hummed softly as he kissed your neck, "..It looks exquisite indeed." He agreed.

You silently thanking aeons for him not asking any further, you slowly turned around and wrapped your arms around him. Kissing his cheeks, you let out a chuckle.

"What?"

"Nothing, I like you Danheng. I love you."

"... I love you too."

©onlyyourhallucinations ; do not copy/translate

A/n : I, hope you like this! Thank you for requesting! Reblogs are always appreciated! 🩵

( 1/5 )

[the-marshals-wife]

The Bad Batch Having a Token of Their Love For You Would Include (Bad Batch x Reader)

─ ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─ 𝐌𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓 ─ ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─

A/N: I love these boys so much and I thought of this instead of going to sleep all week. I really hope y'all like my idea for Echo's especially. He deserves the galaxy and more.❤️ (I also had extra ideas that are definitely still in character but probably "anachronistic", so I just labeled them bonus. I mean we have finally 'caf'' aka coffee in SW canon, so maybe there's hope for hoodies 🤭)

Description: Bad Batch x Fem!Reader | Warnings: none, just lots fluff and kisses | Gif credit: user mutantfactor

★ Bad Batch Tag List ★ @dantes-devil-huntress @sageislostinspring (comment to be added!)

Hunter

He would get a tattoo of your name

Hunter did not need his heightened senses to be certain that he had fallen in love with you - if anything, they just strengthened his conviction that you were the one he was meant to find

Being the intensely devoted and thoughtful man he is, you were on his mind constantly, and he wanted a symbol of his love to be as a part of him as you had become

He didn't even tell you at first because he wanted it to be surprise

It wasn't until he changed into plainclothes for an undercover mission that you noticed the new black ink on his right bicep

You grabbed his arm and stared at the Aurebesh letters spelling your name

"You like it?" he asked, a little nervous

Speechless, you pulled him into a kiss

"I'll take that as a yes" he smiled, before getting another embrace filled with kisses

Whenever you have time alone together, you love to slowly trace the letters with your finger and listen as he dreamily talks about the future

Later in your relationship, he would want to add to it with a portrait of you, and someday, the names of your children

Bonus: he would keep anything you gave him like a pendant or a ring and wear it whenever he could (this man would totally wear one of your scrunchies and make it look hot - a product of his 'girl dad' powers that you find very attractive)

Wrecker

He would keep your shirt to cuddle with

The only thing Wrecker has ever been discreet about in his entire life is his feelings as he was falling for you

It wasn't for lack of trying. He had been officially head over heels for months, but every time he tried to tell you, his words suddenly came out wrong

You thought it was adorable, and you were sure he'd figure out how to say what he was feeling when he was ready. It just gave you more opportunity to realize you were falling for him too

What you couldn't figure out, however, was where your favorite shirt had disappeared to

That is until, after days of searching, you finally caught a glimpse of it tucked beneath the pillow in Wrecker's bunk

You were stifling a giggle when he walked up behind you, looking nothing less than mortified

"Oh, Y/N! That! I uh...I found it on the floor and I was going to give it back to you! But it smelled really nice, and pretty...like you, and um, then I forgot..." he stammered, his face bright red

You smiled and kissed him on the cheek, "Keep it."

In the weeks following, you would refresh it with a spray of your perfume every so often when he wasn't looking

He would also draw doodles of you whenever he had downtime

You were all on a mission not long after the discovery of that day, and during his watch, you rolled over to see him drawing in the sand with a stick. He'd scribbled your initials together within a heart, surrounded by a dozen tinier hearts.

Suffice to say he was not the only one feeling absolutely smitten from then on

Bonus: speaking of shirts, you would absolutely be the couple with the "If lost, return to ___ + I'm ___" tees (likely worn with your matching homemade 'friendship' bracelets)

Tech

He would keep a recording of your voice and laughter

Tech is a private person when it comes to his emotions, but he feels very deeply, even if he isn't sure how to best express his growing affection for you (he thinks it's obvious, after all)

It's this very reason why you doubted that he returned your feelings at first, until you walked by him one day and heard the sound of your own laughter, playing over and over

"What's that?" you questioned, now recognizing the moment that had caused your sides to nearly split (Wrecker had just taken the most dramatic fall into mud you'd ever seen, immediately after bragging he was 'too heavy' to slip)

Tech muted the sound and kept his stare on the datapad, "I capture auditory recordings of all of my interactions for analysis, and file away important data for later reference."

"My laughing is 'important data'?" you smirked as he hesitated for only a moment

"Well, no. Not technically. It is, however, a pleasant sound that reminds me of you, and one that I would like not to forget. By that reasoning, it is important to me," he stated, calmly meeting your awe-struck gaze

It took all your strength not throw yourself into his arms right then and there. He went back to filing his recordings, oblivious to the fact that he had just irreversibly won your heart

He'd also incorporate you into some of his private passcodes

Anything from your initials to your eye color to your favorite flower - just some of the many details that he associates with you and remind him of how much he cares for you

Bonus: if he had a lockscreen/background, it would definitely be a picture of you. He would also be the type to make you a playlist of your favorite songs all from memory because he knows you that well

Crosshair

He would engrave your name on his rifle

Crosshair is a man of conviction and loyalty, and when he was certain that he could trust you with his heart, he wanted to display his loyalty in turn

Modifying his rifle in any way at all is significant, so ingraining your name on the scope is a very personal gesture to him

He caught you completely by surprise on a mission, casually showing it to you while you had watch together

You were stunned to see your name glistening in the firelight, every letter expertly etched into the smooth metal, "Cross, I can't believe you would do that for me..."

"Your love makes my aim true," he replied, wholly sincere

This one remark sealed your fate, giving you both the courage to lean in and share your first kiss

"Then you will never miss," you whispered afterward

You spent the rest of your watch sitting close together in soothing silence under the stars

He would also carve your initials into the wall of his bunk

Wherever he would go, you would be there also. His devotion is unyielding, and you have a partner until the galaxy itself burns up

Bonus: a huge sign of his affection would be letting you wear his clothes. He may act disgruntled, but it's all in jest because would be the boyfriend that's extremely proud to see you walking around in his hoodie

Echo

He would have your handprint on his armor

It seemed like a lifetime since he'd had the handprint from Captain Rex on his chestplate that had meant so much to him through those long years of war

When Echo is sure of something, nothing can move him from it. Not much time was required for him to know that he wanted to share his life with you, and that he wanted your handprint on his armor

He confided in you quite a bit about his past in the GAR, and you knew about the original print, but you never dreamed that he would ask you to replicate it

"Are you sure?" you asked in disbelief

"I am, Y/N. There's no one else whose mark I'd rather carry with me, and no one I want by my side more. On and off the battlefield," he confessed, taking your hand in his

Tears welling in your eyes, you dipped your other hand into the red paint on the table, placed it carefully onto his chest, and pressed your lips to his

More than a symbol of love, you both knew this was a vow to keep fighting for a free galaxy where you could build a future together

He would also have a photo of you in his personal things

He's not afraid of letting his relationship with you be known around his brothers, but his horrifying experiences imprisoned by the Separatists have made him extra cautious in all things. He keeps his photo of you safely tucked away and never brings it on missions, not wanting to risk it falling into the hands of anyone who would ever want to harm you

Instead, whenever you're apart, he holds his hand to his chest before he drifts to sleep and dreams of you. The nightmares are all but gone

Bonus: you two would totally have matching caf mugs with snarky sayings. "Grumpy parents in the morning" vibes all the way

[genji-centric]

hi!! may i please get a uh ram nsfw alphabet or even a junk nsfw alphabet😁 ur pick💕

Ofc!! I'll start off w Ramattra l, I got some Junkrat requests you can look forward to in the future ^^

Ramattra NSFW Alphabet

MDNI!!! NSFW under the cut!

A = aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

Ramattra isn't one for.. bonding after you both finish. He's more relaxed than he usually finds himself, for an act so simple he was surprised to feel.. almost complete. Of course, he doesn't let his mind wander. He's a leader and can't waste his day alone by your side. But after being so rough, well, he can't just abandon his little pet human. He would carry you to the bathroom and draw you a bath, make sure any aches and sores are taken care of before he departs. Maybe once he reaches his goals, he could set aside time for you, make you an important part of his day even.. but for now, that's the only care you will receive.

B = body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

Ramattra is an omnic, cold, and robotic. Due to his build, he is powerful. The upgrades with his nemesis give him strength others could only dream of. His wit is beyond most humans he suffices, and he's one to pride himself on his parts. But his favorite is his hands. With them, he can upgrade himself as he so pleases, hold the staff he brings to battle, pin his favorite pet to the wall as he thrusts from behind whispering insults as you sob. On you? Well.. all humans are the same in his eyes, but you.. you are different. He can't choose a certain part that's his favorite. If he kept the thought in mind, he would settle of how.. squishy human flesh is. How easy he can mold you into positions.. that's what he finds enjoyable the most.

C = cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

Ramattra doesn't cum, in fact he finds the idea rather.. unpleasant. Just another thing about humans he couldn't help but despise. Such organic ways of reproduction are messy.. and reproduction only creates more soldiers to harm his people. Yet his ideas can shift, for being a monk in the past, he has learned to change his ways. With a mind open he can find a sick pleasure in your cum, he doesn't which to be covered. Oh no, he likes bending you in ways where you get your fluids on yourself. It's demeaning, but that's the case for many moments with him.

D = dirty secret (pretty self-explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

Ramattra.. well, he never saw himself having such relations with a human. Something so.. simple didn't catch his eye. So he still feels a bit odd when he holds you, gropes you, claims you. You, to him, is his dirty secret. He doesn't want other omnics to know he fell for such a thing, a human? Him? The idea is preposterous, so for now, your lives are kept private. But one day, he oh so wishes to free the little secret and claim you on the factory floor of the Null Sector as others look on to such a display.

E = experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

Ramattra doesn't.. only because of you he gave those omnic enhancements for human relations a try. But believe me, he learns fast. During the first time, it only took gentle guiding before he was already rearranging your guts while saying filthy things in your ear. You would've thought he was highly experienced, but no, Ramattra would never share the fact he spent how long researching human anatomy for this.

F = favorite position (this goes without saying)

He likes control, Ramattra wants to be the one in power. He bends his little human around as he so pleases. An ironic change of power, instead of the humans in control, it's him, the omnic. If you forced him to answer. He'd laugh and say, "What a petty question," before he would give in. His favorite is doggy, forcing your face into the pillow while he pounds at a harsh pace from behind, watching the curve of your ass jiggle from how hard he was going.

G = goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

He isn't humorous outside of the bedroom. Inside is no different. But that doesn't mean he wouldn't laugh, oh no. He would laugh at you, your reactions, how fragile humans are.. how needy they are. "Ha. Already all sensitive? Weak. You humans can't even handle such little time with a thing you crave.."

H = hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

Ramattra doesn't have hair. Unless you count the wires he has, but he doesn't actually have hair, let alone pubic hair.

I = intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

Ramattra isn't one for romance. But you.. well, he can make an exception just this once. After a strenuous day, watching armies go into battle. There's nothing he wants more than to see his little pet.. ironic how that is. After taking out the stress of the day on you, he's content to just hold you. Pet your hair and whisper sweet nothings. "You did well.. very well." Simple compliments are the world coming from him, Ranattra is no romantic lover. But during those soft moments, he feels like any person's dream.

J = jack off (masturbation headcanon)

When he first installed the.. enhancements he got. Of course, he had to try it out. The sensors.. well, they were a strange feeling but somewhat pleasant. When he felt something.. start to tighten, he grew concerned there was a malfunction, something he needed to fix. But he continued, and he found himself being pushed over the edge. Like his motherboard overloaded for a moment before this feeling of pure, relaxion hit. It was enjoyable, and if his little pet human isn't there to help him out, he might use his hand once more.

K = kink (one or more of their kinks)

Ramattra is well.. he thought things such as sex would be simple. It's just an act, nothing more.. right? He was soon to find out there was much more than just the act itself, emotions, positions, and even different kinks. At first he didn't want to expierement, but he found himself getting rougher and enjoying it. Without telling you, he looked into the more.. extreme parts. Hard domination peaked his interest, along with bindings. After trying them out, he learned he loved to deny you, making you whine and cry for your release. It pleases him, making a human beg for his mercy.

L = location (favorite places to do the do)

He's a private man, opting to claim you in your bedroom or his quarters. Away from any prying eyes, away from judgment. He still feels a small bit of embarrassment knowing he fell for a human. It isn't directed at you, but it feels like a weak point in what he fights for. So he just wants to keep his time with you private, just for him to enjoy.

M = motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

Ramattra wants to say he doesn't crave sex like the pet he has.. but that just isn't true. After a long day, leading his army, meetings, and so on. He needs to release his stresses of the day into you, to rut into the tight, warm walls he grew to love. He loves watching you grow needy over him, using his legs to hump against like you were in heat. Just how desperate you get over him is that it turns him on more than anything.

N = no (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

He doesn't want to be subservient to a human, no. Omnics have already had to bend to the will of humans to be cast as monsters once they had the freedom of choice. Being told what to do.. getting told by a pet of his wjat to do. It's just not something he will entertain the idea of. He wants his little pet to he obedient, not him.

O = oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

Ramattra doesn't have a mouth. Even if he did, he wouldn't waste such time with a lowly human, even if it was you. But oral for him? There's nothing he wants more than to put his little pet human in it's place on their knees below him, only allowed to please him.

P = pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

Ranattra isn't one to be soft, especially on a human. When he gets to have his way with you, he calls the shots. And he prefers it to be fast, rough, and make it so you can only focus on him. It's a way to pound all that stress into his own little human of his own, but on the days he accepts the fact a human has his heart then.. well, he decides to be slow. To enjoy the warmth you bring, the sounds you make.. all just to admire. All so different, but all so unique.

Q = quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

Ramattra isn't one for quickies. If he wants it himself, he will take his time. Some things just can't be rushed. But if his pet is being particularly needy, then fine, he will give in just once. He won't admit the fact he enjoys he has the ability to make someone desire him in such a way, it's a boost in pride for him.

R = risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

Fighting wars is risk at its rawest form. Sending troops after troops to battles the machinery used would need to be rebuilt time and time again. Ramattra is used to risks. It's what he does on a day to say basis. This is why he wants to keep his time with you private, with little risks of being caught or putting you in danger. He wants to be in control of everything entirely. If there's the chance something could go array, he is not interested.

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

As an omnic, his stamina is nigh infinite. He can go for as many rounds as he so desires, and he uses that to his advantage. Each time you two have sex you are left disheveled, tired, and sore. He can also last as long as he wants. He has control over himself. Ramattra is mean but isn't heartless. He will listen if you truly need to stop.

T = toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

He sees no purpose in using toys. He is right there, so why do you need a small bit of silicone? Because Ramattra is an omnic, he can switch out parts as he needs. After his favorite little pet has been rather.. obedient, he decided to treat them. As he started the process of preparing his little human to take him, his fingers began to vibrate. It was sudden, but felt oh so good. After hearing the noises you made, Ramattra decided he would happily install more.. erotic functions to his body.

U = unfair (how much they like to tease)

As a former monk, he knows patience. He has spent years of his life dedicated to meditation, waiting. His skills he still practices, the patience helping him plan each move carefully. And how long he can hold himself from you, he can go weeks without touching you. All while whispering about how your treat is soon to come, he wants you to disobey.. to touch yourself behind his back. His teasing is all with the goal to punish you. All humans are weak minded.. unlike him. So go on, he wants you to give into those selfish human desires. It isn't unfair. He just wants to prove a point.

V = volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

Ramattra isn't one to moan. Be loud, and give you the impression he's enjoying himself. You are more likely to hear him make noise on the battlefield over the bedroom. That's just how he is. When he's close, he would let out some grunts, but when he crosses the finish line, he goes quiet and enjoys the feeling. He would much rather listen to you.

W = wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

If he succeeds in his goal, giving omnics power, he believes they all deserve he will settle down. He doesn't wish for a pure domestic life, but he truly does wish to have you by his side as his lover. To keep you on a pedestal by his side, his favorite pet human. He wants nothing more than to show you off, to claim you in front of others once he doesn't have to worry about appearances.

X = x-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

After you came into his life, he learned more about humans. More than he ever wished to. Out of curiosity, he looked into omnic and human relationships and was surprised there was.. certain upgrades for such cases. He kept it a secret, but Ramattra had located such an upgrade. The.. device is purple in color. Made of silicone, with ridges from the base to tip. It's both squishy and firm, with wires he connected to his other sensors. Ramattra was genuinely surprised he could.. feel such sensations, but after getting the upgrade, there is no going back.

Y = yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

Ramattra in an omnic who holds off on more.. indulgent activities. Only you had made him even entertain the idea of such obscene actions. To which he tries to ignore the need, but after getting a taste, he finds himself fantasizing about taking his little pet human more and more. But he holds large amounts of self-restraint, only he knows how often he dreams of indulging such.. peculiar activities.

Z = zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

Ramattra doesn't need to sleep, but when he's feeling rather.. tender, he will hold you close and let you rest in his arms. You look so small compared to him, and he feels protective. If you can fall asleep as he holds you, he will sit in silence. Meditating and enjoying the moment of silence you share.

[arcadia-of-pluto]

Twist of Fate; Chapter Six

Pairings; LADS OT4 x reader

Word Count; 3,108

Themes; isekai, eventual smut

Rating; 18+ for swearing and some mature context

Notes; It's finally ToF weekend! I'll be posting chapters six through eight around today and tomorrow. Six and seven are very Xavier-centric chapters and from eight to like sixteen, it's Sylus! I wish I included Rafayel and Zayne more since it feels unfair to them, but I'll try to include them more in future chapters. Also, a small warning for sexual tension in this chapter (it's not much, but if you squint-)

Also, I'm going to plug my "ideas for the future" post at y'all for the next few chapters, if y'all don't mind!

Prev || Next

Masterlist

Bright and early the next morning, you scoop the little orange cat up in your arms and head upstairs to Xavier's apartment, hoping to surprise him with the little guy. You let out a yawn, closing your eyes as you step out onto his floor before running into a wall? No, a firm chest.

You look up and immediately smile. “Hey Xavi!” You wave at him with the kitty's little white mitten.

“You're cheerful this morning.” Xavier comments, surprisingly not looking tired for once. “Who's this? Did you get Estelle a friend?” To which you shake your head and smile up at him. “Remember how you said you might want a cat? Well…I found this little guy when I went to Hat Island and I couldn't just leave him there. Will you take him?” You pout, holding your face close to the kitty's.

The silvery blond haired man thinks for a moment before pausing, “Did you go to Hat Island by yourself?”

“Is that what you're worried about?” You laugh and shake your head, “No, it's a part of my plan to get into the N109 Zone. I went with a friend. So…the kitty. Will you keep him?” “I…” He chuckles, running a hand through his hair, “I can't say no to you.” He scoops the kitty into his arms before commenting, “He seems a bit young. Did you come up with a name for him?” “He's your cat, Xavi. I didn't want to name him for you,” You talk with your hands, unsure if you can come up with a fitting name. “Come up with one.”

“Ah…you're kind of putting me on the spot.” You click your tongue, rubbing the back of your neck as you think. “Uh…Tangerine? We can call him Tango for short or actually…” A smile tugs at your lips, “Leonardo da Meowci. Let's do that one and we can call him Leo. His full name can be a secret between us.” You lean forward to scratch under Leo's chin and Xavier bends down to gently bump his forehead against yours. “Where's my chin scratches?”

You're a tad caught off guard with how close he is. His soft blue eyes were shaped like crescent moons as he smiled, that damn smile. He just looks so…soft and endearing. “Oh alright.” You laugh to yourself, scratching under his chin. Your thumb dragging across the skin of his chin as you drop your hand back to your side. “So…Leo is alright?” You try to look as innocent as possible and tilt your head to the side. “Oh also we could go shopping for a bed for him, some bowls, and some food later?”

“Oh.” Xavier shakes himself out of his daze, his cheeks slightly redder than usual. “Yeah sure, text me and I'll meet you at the pet store. I've got a few things I need to do today.”

“What a coincidence! So do I.” You say before walking back to the elevator. “See you later, Xav.”

You plan on scoping out the Nest today but you're definitely not going in your Hunter's uniform. From what you remember, the original main character went to scope out the Nest in uniform with her watch on display and everything which was honestly a bad idea. Sure, she wanted to act as bait but she was just looking for trouble doing that. You get changed into a black long sleeve with a pale pink, denim skirt and you slide on your hunter's boots as you walk out the door. “I'll see you later, Estelle!”

When getting changed, you noticed your wardrobe really was only filled with outfits from the game. You only had five pairs of shoes and most of your outfits were paired with your black hunter’s boots. Though you weren't too upset about it since the main character did have good style.

Before you go to check out the Nest, you stop by Akso Hospital. You haven't heard much from Zayne at all, besides reminders of upcoming appointments and today was no different.

“Hey there Yvonne! Is Zayne in his office?” You greet the woman standing behind the counter and she nods, “Yep, he might be a bit tired though. He just got out of a major surgery.” She passes the sign-in clipboard over to you and you quickly write your name down. “I won't take too much of his time.” You say, heading toward his office and knocking on the door.

“Come in.” You hear him, his voice sounding more muted than normal and you step inside, shutting the door behind you. “Hey Zayne, you doing alright?” You ask, taking a seat in front of his desk. “I didn't realize you were a therapist today, Y/n.” He comments, looking over at you as he pulls up your paperwork. “Come closer, I can't use the stethoscope with you all the way across the room.” His tone was light and airy.

You stand up and walk around the desk. “So do I just stand here-” Zayne sighs, grabbing your wrist to tug you into his lap. “Relax, I'm just doing a routine checkup.” He places the stethoscope against your chest, instructing you to take a deep breath and then to breathe out. He does this a few more times as he moves around. “Everything sounds alright, but your heart is beating faster than usual.”

“I wonder why.” You roll your eyes, leaning your shoulder against his chest. “Is that all you needed for today?” “No. Tell me how your health has been lately. Any heart palpitations? Not being able to sleep? Sleeping too long…stuff like that.” He says, taking his glasses off to rub the bridge of his nose. “Hmm, I think everything's been alright? I've been able to sleep just fine. Just a few nightmares here and there. I got a cat a few weeks ago though so she could be why I feel so great.” You ramble, understanding that even if Zayne doesn't show it, he is bothered by whatever happened during the surgery and he wants his mind off of it.

“Oh, a cat? I should come by your apartment to greet her sometime. Tell me about her.” His voice was sounding softer by the minute.

“Estelle. It means star. She's a silver tabby maincoon so she's a big, fluffy cat. She's apparently four years old and she has a prosthetic arm though you can't even tell it's a prosthetic. She sleeps in the bed with me every night even though she has her own bed and wakes me up by trying to suffocate me with her big paws.” You rest your head against his chin as you lightly sway your feet. After a few moments of silence, you speak, “Are you feeling a bit better, Zayne?”

“Yes,” he clears his throat, looking away from you. “I appreciate it.” You stand up and spin around to smile at him, “Any time.” He catches you by the wrist as you try to leave. “Don't forget, your next appointment is in two weeks.”

“I won't forget.” You say with a small smile, unable to smile any wider than that because, while you won't forget, you can't promise you'll make the appointment. You know you'll be deep within the N109 Zone in two more days. “See you then, Zayne.”

A few hours later, after wandering through the city and buying a few cat items and then hanging them onto Xavier's door handle, you're ready to head to the Nest. Though you have to pull it up on gps since you're walking there as you don't exactly like to drive. Your hunter's bike is practically covered in dust since you haven't touched it in the past two months.

You walk through Azure Square, a picturesque fountain with people standing around it and taking pictures of the pink sky. Then there's the Nest. A building with a neon light displaying the name and, honestly, it just looks like your average bar but you knew otherwise.

You step inside, finally turning off your gps and you're only able to look around for a moment before a figure walks up to you. “Xavi-” you don't even get the chance to act confused as the man says, “Follow me.” He gently tugs you outside, near the fountain. “What're you doing here?” He asks, running a hand through his hair and you frown, tilting your head to the side, “I told you I had a plan for getting into the Nest. I need to find-” “I know, an aether core. Your only chance of getting one of those is…the illegal protocore auction in the N109 Zone.” Xavier then pauses as he notices a few of the OTTO patrol bots hovering around us.

“Are they here for you?” You groan. Why is everyone around you being hunted down with a bounty over their heads? Zayne, you're literally one of the only sane ones here. “Resonate with me,” Xavier whispers, grabbing your hand and placing it over his chest. You sigh, fingers twitching at the feeling of warmth over his shirt, “Fine.” Resonating comes easy to you now, you don't even need to intently focus anymore. The fountain suddenly erupts in a shower of light, dazzling onlookers but you notice a few thin pieces of light that shoot out, disguised by the water, and take down each circular robot. Most of the robots land in the nearby bushes, but Xavier kicks the last one into the fountain.

“Problem solved.” He drops his hand to your wrist, “Now let's go.”

After a few minutes of standing around, a light gathers around you both and without warning, you're suddenly in front of a quaint flower shop with all kinds of flowers and plants decorating the front. You notice the sign isn't set to open or closed and your eyes scan up to the name of the shop. Philo. You don't have a single moment to ponder on that as Xavier drags you into the shop.

“Xavier, how many times do I have to tell you- oh.” A man with curly brown hair pauses mid rant, his eyes slightly widening as they land on you. “Long time no- uh I mean, Welcome to Philo. I'm Jeremiah.” You raise a brow, trying to act confused at the sudden, almost warm greeting, even though you knew the reason why. Then, you look back over at Xavier.

“Are there any unused identities in the vault?” Xavier asks. “She needs an identity to get into the N109 Zone, preferably someone with power who can't be messed with.”

“Oh alright, uhm, let me see.” Jeremiah says and suddenly a hologram shows a picture of a woman in a red dress getting into a limo with bodyguards in suits behind her. “How about a spoiled, rich heiress?”

“Hmm..it needs to be something more.” Xavier holds his hand on his chin and Jeremiah nods, making a few adjustments and the woman's dress turns into a suit, the men behind her clearly have guns at their hip, and they're now wearing sunglasses. “How about the heiress to a mysterious crime syndicate? I think your scar would really help the story and…for the last name, we can just use yours so you can keep your story straight. Here, I'll be right back. I need to make the L/n family crest that you can wear so anyone who sees it knows not to mess with you.” Suddenly stricken with inspiration, Jeremiah leaves the room.

Xavier sits down in a chair and leans back as if he's been busy all day, which you know he has.

“So…you seem to have connections in some awfully high places. Are you sure you're just a normal hunter?” You ask, raising a brow as you turn to look at him. “I'm…just a normal hunter.” He says, holding his hands up, and you shake your head, putting a hand on your hip, “Just a hunter? Can you repeat what you just said?”

“...” Xavier sighs, going silent for a moment, turning away from you to pick up a spray bottle filled with water and absentmindedly sprays the plants nearby.

“Hey, you're not looking me in the eyes.” You walk closer, taking the bottle from him and you hold it up to his forehead like it's a gun. “You're…too close.” He smiles softly, gently touching your forehead to push you back, “also you're not intimidating…at least not intimidating enough.” “Huh, what do you mean?” You scoff with an offended pout on your lips. “You're being too polite. You won't be able to take control of any situation with the way you're acting. Anyone who has made a name for themselves in the N109 Zone wouldn't be a pushover and they'd know how to throw their status around.”

Xavier suddenly rises up from the chair and walks forward, effectively making you walk backwards until your legs hit a table and you can't move back any further. “As the next leader of a crime syndicate, you should at least act tough. Don't let anyone easily spot your weaknesses, talk down to everyone. Otherwise, you might end up as a lamb at an auction swarming with wolves. You'll be killed in the blink of an eye. The arrogant ones always look down on people.” He tilts your chin up with a finger. “Don't say thank you or please, don't apologize, don't have hesitation in your voice. Say what you want with conviction, the people in the N109 Zone always let their desires guide their actions.”

“What if someone challenges me? Or what if they doubt me?” You keep your chin tilted up, doing your best to hold back a blush since this was a serious conversation. “Return the favour.” He whispers and you shove Xavier's shoulder, barely pushing the man back. “Like this?” You move a tad bit closer, maintaining eye contact with Xavier. “By the way…my neck is starting to hurt from looking up at you… Can you sit down?”

“Are you mixing personal feelings with business?” He raises a brow, not moving just yet. “Of course not. As you said, whatever I do is correct.” You put a hand on your hip and Xavier chuckles, “Alright..” He sits back down in his chair and you think it's all over, but he grabs your wrist and tugs you between his legs. “One more thing, it's very important.”

You lean forward, your foreheads touching as he continues, “Don't provoke people who have yet to show their whole hand.” The atmosphere becomes almost two times heavier, you could hear your heartbeat thundering in your ears as your gut told you that you're in danger. Yet the only thing you could do was look into his eyes. He was seated and, yet at this very moment, the person standing isn't necessarily the one who has the upperhand.

“Did you catch all of that?” Xavier whispers, his eyes flickering down to your lips and you nod. “Don't do that. Speak.” He reprimands, nose brushing against yours. “Yes.” His lips just barely graze against yours, your eyes fluttering closed before you hear Jeremiah re enter the room.

“I'm done. Do you think this is enough? Uh-” He pauses, his gaze sweeping over the two of you but not lingering on you for a second. He quickly turns around to leave the room. “Whoops, sorry! Must've entered the wrong room.”

Xavier curses under his breath, ears tinted with red, as he steps away from you and pretends to fix his shirt collar. “Come back.” He crosses his arms over his chest and Jeremiah clears his throat while you look away from them both, trying to control your blush.

You smack your cheeks with your palms before turning back to face them. “That crest looks really pretty.” You point out and Jeremiah nods, “I've had this design for a while now. Just never had anything to put It on until now! Just wear this and everyone who sees it will know you're extremely important.”

“Just keep in mind that most people who approach you in the N109 Zone aren't going to be random people who just want to chat.” Xavier adds, his gaze trailing down your body. “Anyway, here's some more things to make it believable.” Jeremiah hands you a box of items and you thank him.

“You don't need to be so formal! I just never thought I'd be able to actually help you. It's so…” Jeremiah trails off, clearly reminiscing of an era you'd never be able to remember. If you were anyone else, it would be a little odd to see him so friendly, even though you've only known him for about an hour, but you know the reason why. Your vision of Jeremiah is cut short as Xavier moves to step in-between you. “As you can see he's very friendly.”

“Do you want to walk home together?” You ask, tilting your head to the side as you hoped he'd say yes so you could continue where you left off, but he shakes his head. “No, I'll probably get home late tonight.” You pout and nod, turning to leave before he catches you by the wrist. “Wait.” Xavier leans in close, and you feel a sharp prick on your earlobe before the pain quickly goes away. “What-” “It's a secret transmitter. Even if there's no signal, I'll be able to find you.”

“Thank you, by-” “Also,” he places a vial in your hand, “This is an inhibitor that'll make you temporarily immune to 98.7 percent of all toxins. Make sure to take it before you leave for the Nest.” “Now can I-” “oh and,” Xavier slides a thin, almost hairpin like object into your sleeve, “It's not too strong, just enough to take down an elephant. If you feel threatened, just jab the needle wherever you can reach.”

You laugh a bit. “You're like a mom worried about her child on their first field trip.” Just as you're about to leave once more, a bouquet of bluish pink flowers enters your vision. “What's this for? Is it some kind of weapon as well?” You ask, grabbing the bouquet with one hand as you hold the box Jeremiah gave you with the other.

“Do I…need a reason?” Xavier asks, suddenly pouting as he ponders over what reason he can give. “They just happened to blossom..so I sincerely hope you accept them.” He smiles at you, thumb brushing over your knuckles before he finally allows you to leave.

Also, let me know if I should space out my paragraphs more! To be honest, I'm not sure if one space or two in-between looks better 🤔 and let me know if you want to be a part of the taglist!

Taglist; @orphicmeliora ,

[maximoffcarter]

We can't be friends.

Pairings: Casey Novak x reader.

Summary: Casey Novak's girlfriend seemed to be the perfect one after college, but focusing fully on her job was not exactly helpful to her love life. After years, she comes to find her past lover again, only this time...things had changed.

A/n: Surpriiiiise✨ This was requested by an anon a looong time ago when I said you guys could request song fics, and I am truly sorry haha🥴 Most of the requests I have are old, so bear with me, promise I'm getting all requests. And yes...this is angst. No second part I'm afraid🥲 But fluff will come...eventually. And I promise that more Calex, more Alex, and more Casey are coming soon. I'll try to finish the requests I have, and hopefully there will be more to come. Hope you guys enjoy this, leave comments, hearts, whatever you like and reblog so this gets some love🫶🏻

*not my gif*

It all started like the perfect love story; Casey and y/n met at the coffee shop where Casey was working at the time. It had been an accident, Casey running into y/n and almost throwing the coffee she had in hands, and to apologize, Casey invited her a coffee and that’s where the spark began. Y/n thought it was cute how Casey had done everything to apologize even if she had done nothing, after all and after rethinking of their incident, y/n figured out it had actually been her fault, but neither said a thing, because both of them actually enjoyed talking toe ach other, and that’s where it all began. Weeks later, they had created a routine where y/n would show up and study while she waited for Casey to finish her shift, then both of them would spend the whole afternoon together until it was time to go separate ways. In y/n’s mind, Casey was the perfect person, the girl of her dreams; she was sweet, she was cute, she was kind, she was beautiful, she was smart, she was not afraid to be who she was.

Their relationship started after a few dates and a night of drinks where both of them confessed their love for each other, and y/n thought she was living the best love story she had ever seen or heard of. They both understood their careers, having some hectic hours at times, having to focus on finals or projects, at times they barely had time to see each other but they both knew they would be waiting for one another. And then, Casey asked her to move in with her, and things couldn’t have been more perfect. Mornings and nights together, every now and then their afternoons were also spent together, the whole living room floor full of papers, books, and notebooks, but they couldn’t have it any other way, not when they were together. They were both soon to graduate, and they were already looking at their professional lives, but something they had never mentioned was their future. It was something neither of them had thought about. They had already been dating for the last two years, the conversation didn’t seem important, and yet, y/n couldn’t help but keep it in mind.

“Case…I gotta ask you something.” Y/n bit her lip nervously as she stared at Casey.

Casey raised her brow curiously as she smiled. “Alright…what is it?”

Y/n sighed softly as she smiled. “I know we both agreed that we want to stay here in New York, that’s decided…but…do you really see a future…with me?”

“Oh, baby.” Casey chuckled softly as she moved close to y/n, wrapping her arms around her, kissing her forehead softly. “Do you really believe that I’d want anything else? Why wouldn’t I see it?” She smiled softly, her fingers running through y/n’s hair. “I’m not sure what the future holds for us but…I want you in it.”

Y/n smiled softly as she nodded. “I do too.” She huffed a chuckle as she shrugged. “I just…I don’t know. I guess I just…we’ve been so focused with school and graduation.”

Casey tilted her head as she grinned. “And you’re afraid that we will part ways. We still have a whole year for graduation.”

Y/n nodded. “I know.” She smiled. “I just…” she sighed as she placed her hand on Casey’s chest, playing with her necklace. “I don’t think I see myself with anyone else but you.”

Casey smiled as she leaned in and kissed her lips softly. “Neither do I. We’ve made our relationship work so far, we’ll make it work after we graduate.”

Y/n smiled as she leaned in to kiss her lips softly. “You right. We’ll make it work.”

Casey nodded as she wrapped her arms around y/n’s legs to move her to her lap. “Now, what do you say we take a break, hmm?” She grinned as she kissed her neck softly. “Just to relax a bit.”

“Of course you’d suggest that Ms. Novak.” Y/n chuckled softly as she wrapped her arms around Casey’s neck and kissed her lips.

********************

Y/n should’ve seen it coming. After graduation, everything had been good, everything was still perfect. They both went to each other’s graduation, they even made a trip together to celebrate, things still seemed perfect. But they had different careers, they had different thoughts about what they wanted to do, and to be honest, she didn’t expect to have such an amazing offer so quickly, the chance to have an amazing future ahead of her, but her future also included Casey. She wanted it to include Casey, but again…Casey had also her plans, she also had in mind what she wanted to do with her life, not only professionally but also personally. Yes, they both had agreed to stay in New York, they both had made it clear that they wanted each other in their lives, but that was until Casey started to figure out that it wasn’t just about their relationship, it was about their professional lives too. Before y/n knew it, Casey was distant, she had started working at a bureau that was a big deal, she had a mentor that saw a great future for her. She had a chance to do what she wanted to do, and y/n couldn’t stop her from it.

But then, the lonely nights started, barely talking to each other, barely seeing each other because Casey was busy, she had stuff to do, and y/n only found out because she heard Casey talking on the phone. When y/n got her offer, she couldn’t even tell Casey because she was busy, and she barely made it home for dinner. Most of the nights, Casey only came home to sleep and before y/n could wake up, she was gone. Not that y/n wasn’t busy with her own life too, working at a hospital was not exactly the easiest, and it wasn’t exactly what she had expected. Y/n pushed the offer for a few weeks, waiting to talk to Casey about it, but Casey was only focused on her stuff. And when the time to talk about it finally showed up, it wasn’t exactly what y/n had expected.

“Wait…you’re upset?”

Casey shrugged as she looked at y/n. “I thought we had agreed we would stay here in New York.”

Y/n raised her brows, a little surprised. “Oh…I mean. Yeah, sure but…I mean, we had agreed we would stay in Boston, and now we’re here in Manhattan. I had to transfer.” She tilted her head. “I transferred so you could accept your offer.”

“And you hid your offer for weeks.” Casey snapped.

Y/n scoffed as she nodded. “You know why I did it? Because all you’ve done has been work. You spend more time with Mary than you spend time with me. And that’s hypocritical of me, because I’m at the hospital most of the time, but I try to make time for you, and then, you don’t even come home.”

“You knew that out first year was everything about adjusting. I’m sorry I spend so much time at the office, I cannot help it.”

Y/n nodded. “And I know that, Casey. Trust me. I am not asking you to drop everything for me. But if I hid the offer, was because I was not sure what to do. I was not sure what I wanted, because I want you in my life. We agreed to that.”

“And you’re rubbing it in my face that I made you transfer to a place you didn’t even want to be in. And I’m sorry about that, but you made that choice. I didn’t force you.”

“I never said you did! God, Casey. Are you really trying to pick up a fight right now? I was honest. I wanted you to know about the offer, I wanted you to be aware of what’s happening in my life. But…” she shrugged. “Here I am. Waiting for you to notice me. You cling to your papers and pens, and I’m just here waiting for you.” Y/n felt tears in her eyes as she stared at Casey. “I did what I said I’d never do. And I did it because I wanted to, and you’re upset because I got an offer? Or why are you trying to pick up a fight? I never said I’d accept it.”

“Then maybe I should make the choice for you.” Casey crossed her arms as she stared at y/n. “You should go to California.”

Y/n furrowed her brows. “What?”

“You heard me. This…us? “We’re not working anymore, y/n.” Casey shook her head as she looked away. “I don’t…” She sighed softly as she nibbled on her lip. “It’s better this way.”

Y/n stared at her as tears rolled down her cheeks. “For me or for you?”

Casey looked back at her, tears in her eyes too. “Y/n…”

“Save it.” Y/n scoffed. “You’ve been thinking about this for so long. You were just waiting for the perfect moment. What happened to…it’s just me and you? It was us against anything…but I get it. You don’t see me in your future anymore.” She said quietly as she nodded. “If this is how you want to leave me, fine. I was not going to accept the offer.”

Casey tilted her head as she walked to y/n. “Y/n, wait-“

“Hope you get what you want in life.” Y/n simply said as she walked to their room, locking the door behind her to start packing her things.

Y/n didn’t want to push this, she didn’t want to beg for Casey to not leave her, to ask her to stay, she loved Casey, but if it meant to ask for her love, to wait for her love…she didn’t want this. Any of this.

********************

“Wait, what about Huang?” Elliot asked as he looked at Olivia.

Olivia shrugged. “He’s somewhere in California, doing some TED talks or something.”

“So, we getting a new one for now or what?” Munch raised his hands as she stared at them. “Novak said we needed Huang to confirm if he’s capable of talking in court or the case can go to the trash.”

“Guys, I want you to meet Dr. y/n y/l/n. Huang’s good friend, and the person who will be helping us in the next few cases if we need her.” Cragen smiled as he introduced her.

Y/n smiled softly as she nodded. “Sorry Huang is not here, but it’s nice to meet you guys, I’ve heard great things about you all.”

Olivia smiled as she nodded. “We’re sure that if Huang sent you, it’s because you’re good. I’ll show you the interrogation room.” She then walked with y/n, leaving behind the boys.

Elliot looked at Cragen. “I take it she’s good?”

“I trust Huang, and right now, we need all the possible help, so we get these girls some justice.” Cragen nodded as he walked back to his office.

“He’s right. As long as we get a confirmation that he’s sane enough, we’re good to go, Huang or not.” Munch said as he stood up.

Casey walked into the squad room and smiled at Elliot, walking to him. “Huang’s in there?”

Elliot shook his head. “Nope, he’s not in New York. Sent a friend of his, but Liv already took her in, so we should have an answer soon.”

Casey nodded. “Good, wanna come?”

Elliot nodded as he followed Casey, He furrowed his brows as he stared at Casey. “You okay?”

Casey sighed as she shook her head. “The DA’s office is right on my back with this case. I need a psych evaluation or he’s out before we can even blink.”

“Casey, you got this. We have enough evidence.” Elliot stopped Casey for a moment as he looked at her. “Is there something else going on in that head of yours?”

Casey looked back at him as she shook her head, sighing softly. “No. Everything is okay.” She offered a small smile before she walked in with Elliot. But just as she walked in, the voice on the other side of the room made her stop in her tracks, her heart dropping and her eyes widening.

Elliot noticed the reaction, and just in time, Olivia turned to look at them, furrowing her brows. She looked at Elliot for a moment before she returned her attention to Casey. “Case?”

Casey’s lips parted in surprise, but no words could come out. She cleared her throat softly, as she looked at Olivia. “Y-Yeah?”

“What happened? You completely froze there.” Olivia said a little concerned, walking to Casey.

Casey snapped out of her trance and shook her head. “No uh…nothing. Sorry, I just…I guess I’m too stressed right now.”

Olivia nodded, looking at Elliot for a moment and then back at Casey. “Alright…she’s…the psychiatrist is talking to him right now. She’s on his good side right now.”

Casey nodded. “Right, I need to go talk to Cragen but…let me know when she’s done.” Before anyone could say anything, Casey was out of the room.

It had been around two years or so since they had seen each other. The last time they had seen each other was the day y/n moved out of their apartment. Casey had tried everything to stop her, but it was too late. After that, they never talked to each other, didn’t even try to contact each other, they had entirely erased each other from their lives. And now, it was like destiny wanted them to find each other again, but Casey was not ready for it. She knew the damage she had caused, she knew how much she had hurt y/n, and herself…and she knew that y/n hated her for what she did, she knew that she’d probably freak out once she figured out that Casey was here, and Casey was definitely not ready to tell the whole squad their story, she had never talked about her, she couldn’t…it had been too painful. She had tried to stay as long as possible with Cragen in his office, coming up with excuses to not leave, or simply talking about where they were with the case, and just as she was about to leave, she ran into the one person she had been trying to avoid, and oh, her heart hadn’t beaten like this in so long.

Casey’s eyes widened slightly as she stared at y/n, licking her lips nervously. “H-Hey.”

Y/n furrowed her brows, offering a small smile. “Hi. I’m y/n.” She extended her hand. “You must be…the attorney? Olivia told me some blonde girl was in charge of this case.” She chuckled softly.

Casey furrowed her brows, staring at her with a confused look. “Uh…yes. Novak.” She grabbed y/n’s hand in hers and she felt a shiver run down her spine. “You don’t…you don’t know who I am?” She asked softly, almost quietly.

Y/n raised her brow as she let go of Casey’s hand. “Should I…know who you are?”

“Uh…” Casey shook her head. “No. Sorry, I’m not exactly in my right mind today.”

“Got it. This heat doesn’t help anyone, does it?” Y/n chuckled softly. “Olivia gave me your email, I’ll be sending you the evaluation, and if you have any questions, my number will be in the email.”

Casey nodded. “Great, thanks.”

Y/n nodded softly as she offered a small smile. “Nice to meet you, Novak.” She then walked away, leaving Casey speechless. What had just happened?

********************

Olivia knocked on Casey’s door softly, smiling as Casey looked up at her. “Hey there.”

Casey offered a smile. “Hi.”

Olivia walked into the office and raised her brow. “So…are you gonna tell me what’s going on?”

Casey furrowed her brows and shook her head. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

“C’mon, Casey. You know better than to lie to me.” Olivia sat down and crossed her arms as she looked at Casey.

“I don’t…” Casey sighed softly as she dropped her pen and rubbed her temple. “What do you know about y/n?”

“Well…she’s great. I mean…she has helped us so much with everything. She’s at Huang’s level.” Olivia nodded as she offered a smile. “And uh…Huang told us a little bit of background. She studied here, but after graduating she moved to California for an offer.”

Casey nodded softly. “Anything else?”

Olivia tilted her head as she thought. She then nodded as she sighed. “I heard that she got into an accident. Like a year or so ago. She mentioned that she had been in a coma for a while, she still doesn’t remember much. But recently, she was allowed to go back to work.”

Casey then understood, and her heart dropped at the idea of y/n being in an accident, and she wasn’t there for her. She sighed softly as she nodded. “Must’ve been hard.”

“Seems so.” Olivia raised her brows. “Now…are you gonna tell me why you’re acting so weird? Is this about y/n?”

Casey groaned softly as she covered her face, sighing afterwards. “I know y/n.” She mumbled.

Olivia nodded. “Alright…and?” She then gasped softly. “Oh…she didn’t recognize you.”

“She has no idea who I am.” Casey shook her head as she dropped her hands, looking at Olivia. “She had no idea who I was and I…I don’t know how to treat her, or what to say.”

“Was she…more than a friend?”

Casey nodded. “Yeah…she was.” She said softly, still feeling guilty about how it all ended.

“Maybe this is your second chance.” Olivia shrugged. “You can try to be her friend, you know? This is literally a start over, Case.”

Casey looked at Olivia and shrugged. “You think it’s a good idea?”

Olivia shrugged. “Well…why not? Maybe this could turn out better than you think.”

Casey nodded softly as she stared at Olivia, smiling softly. “Maybe so…”

“I’m…not sure what happened between you two, but all I know is that this could be your chance to make things better. Maybe be her friend first, and if things go well then…if you want, you can try again.” Olivia offered a smile.

Casey looked back at Olivia and smiled softly, nodding her head, and thanking her. The conversation kept going after that, y/n no longer in it. Casey hated the fact that it had been her fault for letting her go, she was happy to know the person she had become, maybe Casey would have stopped her from growing, but the fact that she had been in an accident and Casey had not been there…it broke her heart into a million of pieces. She wanted to make it up. She wanted to make things better.

********************

Y/n looked up as she heard a pair of heels approaching her, smiling as she saw Casey walking to her. “Ms. Novak. What do I owe the pleasure of your presence?”

Casey felt her heart fluttering as she stood in front of y/n, smiling softly. “I heard you were covering Huang here too. Thought I’d pay you a visit, and thank you for your help. We won the case.”

Y/n raised her brows and smiled widely. “Oh, Casey! That’s amazing. I’m sure it was all because of you. I’ve heard how amazing you are in court.” She chuckled softly as she closed the file she had in hands.

“Well…I still wanted to thank you. And…wonder if you’d like to take a coffee.” Casey nibbled on her lip nervously, hoping that she’d get a positive answer.

Y/n stared at Casey and smiled softly. “I don’t see why not. Are you free right now? I was about to leave.”

“Sounds good to me.” Casey smiled softly.

They decided to walk for a while before they actually found a coffee shop where they could sit and grab a coffee. It amazed Casey how little she remembered before the accident, admitting that she didn’t even remember much about her college years or even after, just a few memories popping up every now and then, and people? That was the most difficult to remember. Casey felt guilty, knowing how they had ended and now taking advantage of her not remembering to get to talk to her, but she couldn’t help it. Olivia’s words kept playing in her mind, wanting to believe that maybe this truly was a second chance that the universe decided to give them; not in the best way, but she could either waste it or take it. She couldn’t help the way her eyes stayed glued to y/n the whole time, loving the fact that she looked the same, as beautiful as she has always been, and she couldn’t help the way her heart beat fast for her.

Casey talked a little about her own life, there wasn’t much to say about it, since her whole life was dedicated to her job. After y/n, she had really out her entire focus on it, wanting to get more offers or chances to work in something better, to be able to grow, and she had gotten her place in Sex Crimes even if she hadn’t wanted that at first. She couldn’t help but wonder what it’d be like if she had another chance with y/n…if fate was nice enough to let her have that second chance and get back the life she wished she hadn’t thrown away back then, but she needed to take it step by step, not wanting to rush things. She was really willing to win her back.

Y/n stopped in front of the doors of the hotel and turned to look at Casey. “Thank you for the coffee, and…the dinner that came after.” She chuckled softly.

Casey chuckled as she nodded. “You’re welcome.” She said softly as she smiled. “When are you going back to California?”

Y/n sighed as she shrugged. “I have a few more things to do here. Huang is taking a bit of time over in California, so. I might stay for a little longer.”

“Good.” Casey smiled softly. “Will I be able to see you again?”

Y/n smiled widely as she nodded. “I don’t see why not.” She chuckled. “See you around, Casey.”

“Goodnight.” Casey nodded as she watched her walking into the hotel.

Was it wrong? Was this selfish? She felt guilty, she felt bad, but could anyone really blame her? She couldn’t just waste this chance, as guilty as she felt.

********************

“Who would’ve thought that Ms. Novak was a charmer?” Olivia said as she walked into Casey’s office, a playful smile on her face.

Casey looked up and furrowed her brows. “Where did that come from?”

Olivia grinned. “Y/n stopped by the squad room earlier. She was talking about how Ms. Novak took her to a nice restaurant.” She said in a playful tone.

Casey laughed softly as she looked down at her notebook and placed her pen down as she looked back at Olivia. “It was just dinner.”

“For what…like the third time in almost two weeks? Olivia raised her brow.

Casey rolled her eyes playfully. “Yeah, well…she has free time. I didn’t see why J couldn’t.”

“Oh, Case. You’re really taking this chance, and I love that for you.” Olivia smiled softly. “She said she loves the restaurant, gave her a sense of comfort.”

Casey smiled softly as she nodded. “She used to love that restaurant when we had just moved here. I…couldn’t help it.”

Olivia smiled. “What happened, Casey?”

Casey took a deep breath and then she sighed heavily. “I had gotten an offer here, after we had promised that we would both stay in Boston. I made her transfer and…then she had an offer in California.” She nodded sadly. “She was not going to take it. But we were drifting apart…I was stuck in work, always work…”

“She felt forgotten.” Olivia said softly as she sat down in one of the chairs.

“I made her feel that way. Because it was true. I was so focused on work that I just stopped putting her as my priority. And then I told her to go to California.” Casey shrugged. “And she did.” She smiled sadly at Olivia. “Now you see why I was thinking if it was a good or bad idea to try to befriend her again.”

“I know it sounds…bad. But it’s a second chance. And maybe, when she remembers, she’ll forgive you.”

“Is it bad that I don’t want her to remember? I mean…fuck, I’m so selfish.” Casey chuckled as she ran her fingers through her hair. “It hurt to think at first that she couldn’t remember me, that she had forgotten about us…and now I’m taking advantage of it.”

“I wouldn’t say you’re taking advantage. It’s like you two are getting to know each other again. Not like you just jumped into her bed, you know?”

Casey nodded. “Yeah, I guess so.”

“Just…don’t overthink too much about it.” Olivia offered a small smile.

Casey raised her brow. “You’re as bad as me, supporting me into this.” She chuckled softly.

“Is it selfish to want to see you happy?” Olivia grinned as she teased.

********************

“Wait…they offered you a job here?” Casey smiled softly.

Y/n nodded as she set her drink on the table, looking at Casey. “Mercy hospital. Huang wanted to try to get me a spot with him, but…Mercy hospital sounds nice.” She smiled softly.

Casey nodded softly as she smiled, getting up from her desk and then walking to the table, sitting down beside y/n. “Have you thought about it?”

“I mean…” y/n sighed. “I need to get some things in order in California. I can’t just accept and move. There are a lot of things I need to think about.”

Casey nodded again. “You’re right.”

“What do you think?” Y/n smiled, a hint of hope in her eyes.

“What do I…” Casey furrowed her brows. “…why do you care what I think?”

Y/n shrugged softly as she smiled. “I’m just asking for an opinion, you know?”

Casey nibbled on her lip as she stared at y/n. It could be her opportunity to have another chance with her, it could be that chance she had wanted to have all this time after she screwed up. But it’d be selfish. It would be too selfish to ask her to stay. She couldn’t possibly tell her what she really thought.

“I…I think you should do what you think it’s best for you.” Casey said softly.

“Will you want to deal with me once I move here?”

Casey chuckled softly. “I’d love that.”

Y/n smiled softly as she nodded. “I’ll let you know my decision when I have it then. I’ll uh…I need to do some stuff but…dinner on me?”

Casey smiled as she stood up. “Sounds perfect.”

Y/n smiled as she grabbed her coffee and stood up. She stood in front of Casey for a moment before she leaned up and pressed her lips against Casey’s in a gentle kiss. Casey’s breath hitched for a moment but couldn’t help kissing her back softly, placing her hands on her waist to pull her closer. The moment was broken when Casey’s phone went off, making them pull apart.

Y/n smiled softly as she pecked Casey’s lips. “See you later, Case.” She said before she walked away.

Casey swallowed, trying to catch her breath, and then moving to her desk to grab her phone. Throughout the whole day, she was in court, arraignment after arraignment plus a trial. She had tried so hard to focus but her mind kept going back to their kiss, and how good it had felt to kiss her after all this time. She had missed the feeling of y/n close to her, her lips, her taste…and yet, she felt nothing but guilt. She kept overthinking over and over again. She tried to think what Olivia had told her, she tried so hard to be positive about it and to try and just live in the moment, but she couldn’t.

She was about to text y/n that she was on her way out her office when suddenly she felt someone at the door. She turned to the door and found y/n standing there, a serious look on her face as she stared at Casey.

“Y/n. I was about to text you that I was on my way out.” Casey smiled softly. But then she looked down at her watch. “Shit, did I say earlier? I’m sorry. I…”

“No. It’s not that.” Y/n bit her lip softly as she walked into Casey’s office and closed the door behind her. “We need to talk.”

Casey furrowed her brows as she stared at y/n. “Something happened?”

Y/n looked up at Casey, tears welling up in her eyes. “I never actually thought I’d see you again.” She said in a whisper, her voice cracking up with emotion.

Casey’s heart ached as she spoke, her eyes locking with y/n’s. “You…you remember me?”

Y/n nodded softly as she huffed a chuckle. “I uh…I was just talking to Huang and then he was asking me about you, how things were going, and it was like uh…wave that hit me and all of the sudden I remembered that…I knew you. You used to be my Casey.” She felt tears in her eyes as she shook her head, licking her lips nervously.

Casey felt a pang of guilt as she stared at y/n, walking to her. “Y/n…I-I wanted to tell you, I didn’t-“

“Is this how you planned on getting back with me? You were hoping that I wouldn’t remember, didn’t you?” Y/n asked softly as she felt tears in her eyes.

“No! I mean…” Casey groaned as she nibbled on her lip. “I did want to tell you. I felt…I felt guilty. But I couldn’t help it. I just wanted to start over.”

“And what a better way to start over than taking advantage of me having amnesia.” Y/n chuckled sarcastically. “You know I…I don’t blame you. But you know we didn’t end well, did you just forget about all that?”

“No…” Casey shook her head. “But I regret everything. I regret letting you go. I wanted to see you again. You changed your number, and I just…”

“You made your choice, Casey. You even made my choice.” Y/n scoffed. She shook her head. “I truly did want to start over.”

“And what about your accident? Why did you never call me?”

“I didn’t remember your phone number.” Y/n chuckled softly as she wiped her tears. “I’m sure my mom wanted to. Something might’ve stopped her.”

Casey nodded as she looked down at her hands. “I’m sorry…for everything. I just thought it could be that chance I lost…”

Y/n took a deep breath and then sighed as she tried to avoid more tears falling from her eyes. “That’s not fair, Casey. You make it seem like I was the one who broke your heart, when it was the other way around.”

Casey looked back up at her. “And that’s why I wanted to make things right. I wanted another chance, and I was not going to take advantage of you. I was going to tell you all about it, I just didn’t know how. I didn’t want you to hate me.”

“I don’t hate you, Casey.” Y/n said in a whisper as she stared into her eyes. “But I can’t do this again. I…I don’t even know why I considered accepting the offer here, when I have everything I need in California. And being here now…reminds me of what I lost.”

Casey felt her heart drop at her words, tears welling up in her eyes. “Y/n…” She took a step closer and grabbed her hands, bringing them to her lips. “Please I’m…I’m so sorry. I really am. You don’t know how much I regret what happened and how things went down. Please.”

Y/n stared into her eyes as she shook her head. “How do I know that you won’t cling to your paper and pen again, huh?”

“We start over then. We just leave it at friends. Accept the offer, move back here. We can make it work this time, baby. I’m just asking for one more chance.” Casey looked at her with pleading eyes, her voice low and quiet.

“We can’t be friends, not even that.” Y/n whispered softly. “Casey…I loved you. So much…but I just…I can’t do this. Not again. Look where you are.” She smiled sadly. “You have a conviction rate of 71%, you’re a recognized ADA.” She chuckled sadly. “Sort of…did some research.”

Casey chuckled a little as she nodded. “And you’re recognized in California…and have a new life now.”

Y/n nodded. “We have different lives. And it should stay that way.”

Casey tilted her head as she felt tears rolling down her eyes. “I love you…” she whispered softly.

Y/n nodded. “I loved you.”

Casey closed her eyes as she felt a weight on her chest at the words. Y/n sighed softly as she placed her hand on Casey’s cheek, stroking it softly. She leaned in and placed a gentle kiss on her lips, resting her forehead against hers for a moment.

“I’m glad I got to see you again. I’m sir proud of you.” Casey whispered softly as she looked into her eyes.

Y/n smiled sadly. “I’m so proud of you too.”

Y/n offered one last smile before she walked out of Casey’s office, leaving her just standing there in the middle of her office as she stared at the door, tears rolling down her cheeks. She had made a mistake, a terrible mistake. And maybe after all, her life would be dedicated to her job. That’s what she chose. And she’d regret it for the rest of her life.

[supershot73199]

Hey everyone here is chapter 4 of my Dawn's Big Daddy story. This is the actual Gala from a few different characters perspectives.

I'll also put it under the read more

Jason Todd usually hated going to galas but tonight might just be the best he's ever been too, and it's all thanks to his baby sisters new paramour. This man who made his sister so happy was attending the Gala in a dress, especially since he looked better in that dress than many of the rich bitches that would try to cause trouble for his sister.

Honestly the two were sickeningly sweet, almost like gomez and morticia and it was hilarious how mad it made the high society stiffs. Jason stifled s laugh as Danny clearly said something that the socialites were offended by and he smiled like the cat who caught the canary.

This continued with the socialites getting more visibly upset and Cass getting more amused until a cheerful laugh came from across the ballroom.

Damian had Dawn standing on his feet while they "Danced" together. Seeing Damian interact with the little girl definitely showed that he was Bruce's kid more than any declaration of being "The Blood Son" ever could.

There was a sudden chill that had Jason turning back towards Cass and Danny their posture had changed from dopey in love to glacial wrath, from the rapidly paling face of one of the more racist leech that exist in Gotham high society they must have said something about Dawn and Damian.

The rich prick quickly rushed off dropping a hastily written check into one of the staffs waiting hands. Cass and Danny watched them go before returning to their Addams family act as they went to the dance floor though Jason could see the icy rage still in their eyes.

Tim was used to galas having been in high society all his life though he doubts he would ever enjoy them. He and Bernard were schmoozing with some of the investors for Wayne Techs newest project when his sister and her boyfriend start dancing.

Tim narrowed his eyes no matter how much he looked he couldn't find any history on Danny or any of his family, it's like he's a ghost. He didn't like his sister being so close with an unknown no matter how nice he seems.

"Stop glaring at your future brother in law. You're being overprotective." Bernard said as he bumped shoulders with Tim.

"I'm not overprotective I just don't like that we don't know anything about him." Tim defended.

"Look babe, we both know that is just an excuse because you don't want to admit you are worried about someone breaking Cass' heart. But look at them he adores her." Bernard gestures to the couple who have their eyes locked on their dance partner adoration clear to see.

"Just because he seems like he adores her doesn't mean he can't hurt her. Besides there are plenty of people with mind control abilities in the world who says he hasn't been brainwashed. That's why I won't give up until i find what he's hiding." Tim responded as Bernard sighed.

"Have you tried asking him?" Tim snorted at that.

"Oh please like that would work."

The night was coming to an end and Barbara was about to hit Dick.

He was moaning and groaning about how "that harlot is corrupting my poor innocent baby sister look at him in that dress hanging off of her" all damn night.

"If you don't stop whining about Cass falling in love I swear to God I won't be the only one who needs a wheelchair!"

She finally snapped.

"I'm sorry Babs but she's my baby sister."

Barbara sighed "I know but look how happy they are. Doesn't Cass deserve someone who makes her smile?"

The two watched the dancing couple for a few more minutes until the song ends. With the songs ending this one particularly annoying trust fund baby approached the couple and asked to cut in. Dick was about to jump up as this particular brat has harassed Cass before. However before he could take more than a step Danny had said of course before taking the man's hand and pulling him into a dance while he had a look of bafflement on his face.

Cass made her way towards the two vigilantes with humor clear on her face.

"I don't think he will bother me again." She said as she reached the table.

"What do you think Danny will do?" Barbara asked.

Cass looked at the two before responding. "He's unnerving him triggering his fear responses without doing anything else. Rich will be paranoid but otherwise will be left alone.

Barbara and Dick looked at each other before looking back to where Danny and Rich were dancing and it seemed like Cass was right about Danny somehow freaking him out if the way his eyes were darting around were any indication.

As the song ended Danny clearly gave an expected farewell while Rich all but ran away looking over his shoulder as he did. Danny after walking over to the table pressed a soft kiss to Cass cheek.

Barbara couldn't help the warm feelings bubbling up in her chest as she struck up a conversation with the pair of lovebirds.

Duke Thomas was many things, the only Meta on the team, the only dayshift hero, Hal Jordan's self proclaimed worst nightmare, etc, but one of his own personal favorites was Cass least likely to be beat up brother if only because he knew how to mind his own damn business. Despite that he couldn't help but be intrigued by the newest additions too her life.

Danny and Dawn looked rather unique to his power granted sight. Dawn was the easiest of the two to figure out her aura strengthening her body and vice versa, while not confirmed he assumes that she's a Meta with some unique energy manipulation power. (Duke would later look back at this and decide it was a pretty close guess.)

Her father though? While initially very similar to Dawn, Danny's power seemed too radiate out of him often covering people around him, if it wasn't for the fact that the energy very clearly does not actually enter anyone Duke would have been worried there might have been mind control involved.

As he watched the happy couple he enjoyed the way Danny's aura seemed to dance around Cass coating her almost like her cape does in her suit. He also looked at the energy that seemed to coat his daughter, resting on her like a warm hug or beloved blanket.

It was then Duke finally realized what the aura was seemingly doing. It was radiating safety in a unique way to each person it touched. The aura around Damian looked almost like what Duke would describe as respectful armor.

Duke gleefully watched and cataloged the way it interacted with people. When he noticed one of the more drunk guests started trying to cop a feel on a waitress. But before he could do more than take a few steps he saw a tendril of aura reach out and cover the girl right as Danny called the drunk out.

Duke only listened to the ensuing verbal smackdown with half an ear much more interested in the way the aura was behaving. It was honestly giving off what Duke could only describe as brotherly protection keeping the bulk of its energy on the side of the waitress that was nearest to any patron.

Duke really hopes Danny comes around more often, this aura show might just be Dukes new favorite use if his power. (OK second favorite cause fucking with Hal Jordan will always come first.

[aluria-sevhex]

so now i'm in Act 3 i guess

notes:

-methinks Siffrin is panicking

-plot twist: you can't escape the time loop until you deal with your... ???

-no you little bitch don't pretend everything's fine that's not good for your mental health

-YOU *KNEW* THIS WOULD HAPPEN??? FUCK YOU LOOP

-i'm not giving up you little shit

-ok Loop what IS your deal. you *asked* to be here???

-ok i need to help Mira with her mysterious papers

-:O A HINT AT ODILE'S FIELD OF STUDY

-the music is more unnerving than it was in Act 2. also it sounds glitchy now

-oh it's normal now. was i just suffering from an actual audio glitch and just. didn't question it? like "oh yeah ofc it's glitching things are fucked now"

-...that enemy didn't spawn down here in Act 2.

-eh ima get off for the night

-late in the evening on July 4th and i am back yippee this is probably a bad idea considering how long my play sessions get

-YEAH THE TITLE MUSIC MY BELOVED

-ok i can't help Bonnie on this loop- HOLD UP. DID SIF'S ART CHANGE IN THE MENUS? YEAH HE'S NOT SMUG ANYMORE ToT also i think their profile used to say "It's you!" with an exclamation point but now it says "It's you." with a period :(

-rip my darling blorbo Paper α V

-side note: idk if i've mentionwd this before but i like how the levels, stats, and skills all show the fact that you're near the end of the journey (ex. Odile having Rock, Paper, and Scissors III at the start)

-I FOUND THE BOOK BONNIE WAS LOOKING AT.

hmmm... death rituals...

-hehe i found the stostorage roomoom

-NONE OF THESE BARRELS WILL LEMME TAKE THE NUTS >:(

-another book in the headache-inducing language i can't read.

-weird shit going on: Siffrin, Loop, the King, the disappearing island, the headache-inducing shit

-hehehe yeah Isa i'm sure you'd *love* to pet your taciturn hopeful-future-partner

-it's not just the menu art i think Siffrin's battle art is also less happy. :(

-HOLD UP. also! Siffrin's profile used to call them the Traveler but now he's called the Wanderer. :(

-hehe. Sif hit the counter and said nya again. cat Sif

-this enemy ALSO did not spawn on this floor before. fucking giant hand thing

-ok thinking: can't help Isa until i've helped everybody else in one loop, can't help Bonnie on this loop and i need to prove i know them via their favorite foods, need to help Mira and Odile...

-thank you Loop for being available- OH I CAN BRING UP THE SADNESSES BEING DIFFERENT :O

-ok need to help Mira with the papers. some are in her dorm. Odile wants to read a familytale. i'll have to find one in the library or secret library. need to find out Bonnie's favorite foods by trying different ones. maybe i should loop forward a bunch to different areas, find out their favorite foods, and THEN do the big loop where i help everybody!

-i need to talk to the King eventually

-looping forward to Floor 1's end

-fun fact i'm keeping track of all my causes of death in another note. i'll share it when i finish the game

-man i also need to figure out how to help Mira's fan and remember where the last book issue is...

-the looping screen art is nice :]

-yeah yeah i need to beat this asshole to get to the snacks

-hold up. the coin fell on heads this time. strange...

-last time i picked plantain chips. this time i'm picking cookies. would probably be good to check what Bonnie eats each time

-ok they like rice. time to loop forward!

-while i'm on Floor 2 i might as well find a familytale for Odile...

-LOOP 24? THE MATH DOES NOT CHECK OUT.

-WAIT THE GAME ACKNOWLEDGES IT. HUH. YEAH I SHOULD BE ON 23. SIFFRIN IS SUS 𐐘

-fuck. i accidentally moved forwards when i meant to go to the library. it's fine i'l help her when i help everybody

-oh great i have to fight these assholes again.

-fuck. i think i fucked up and didn't make sure Mira had Pretty Moving Cure. i might get a game over.

-this is by far my dumbest death

-LOOP 27??? I WENT FROM 24-27

-gonna try to be less liberal with loop usage because the skipping is kinda scaring me

-aw... Siffrin's friends try not to touch him as they squeeze through that's nice... wait. he seems to not be remembering why. did he forget that they don't like being touched... maybe. maybe i should call Loop.

-well that was unhelpful

-time to adjust the memories i have equipped. welcome back my lovely scrimbly blorbos Lovely Moving Cure and Paper α V

-hm. ok so the boulanger in Dormont has a familytale...

-oh my god we're discussing colors. what happened to them.

-THEY STILL EXIST. BUT WE FORGOT HOW TO SEE THEM. ???

-*SIFFRIN*. HOW IS THIS FAMILIAR. JFC YOU ARE SUS

-plot twist! Siffrin is from our world and forgor that he got isekai'd! :P (i love making random bullshit predictions it's very entertaining)

-oh yeah so RE: Siffrin's altered art: Sif's time-frozen portrait used to look panicked but now it looks calm

-hehe openphrase123 worked

-love Sif's habit of picking up random shiny shit. magpie or crow behavior.

-oh? Siffrin didn't always hate croissants?

...bruh.

-also damn shout-out to Mira's crisis over not knowing some of the people

-the combination of Siffrin's silly attack names and serious battle portraits feels so *wrong*

-:o Sif learned a new skill

-ok i'm gonna log off for the night

hey if you wanna read all of my posts as i play through ISAT, they are all tagged as #Aluria plays ISAT for the first time (please don't spoil)

bruh when i was making this post i accidentslly pasted the notes again there instead of pasting the tag name. that truly was. delightful. to go through and delete it all

also shout-out to those of you who i keep seeing popping up in my notifs liking these posts ;) and also anybody who takes the time to read all this stuff :D i know that *i* like seeing other people's reactions when they experience stuff i like for the first time so i'm very happy to provide that for others! also it's nice to see some of the responses ^-^ :D

[candycandy00]

Roses in the Sky - An Original Alien x Reader Story Part 4

In a future where humanity huddles in decaying domed cities controlled by alien invaders, you and your best friend Anna work as make-shift nurses in a tiny clinic run by the young doctor Terrian. The city is ruled by the aliens' violent, half-breed offspring who serve as brutal overseers. You and Anna have always tried to avoid these overseers at all cost, but your life is changed when one of those same terrifying offspring is brought into the clinic, injured and unconscious.

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7 | Part 8 | Part 9 | Part 10

This is an original Alien (well half alien) x Fem Reader story! I hope everyone who enjoys my fanfiction will give this a shot! Any feedback whatsoever would be loved! I’ve already written this story so it’s not going to delay my fanfics. Just thought I might post chapters of this between fanfics if anyone is interested.

Slow burn, as this is a novel-length story, but there will be smut in later chapters! Also: violence, blood, rape attempts, death of side characters, etc.

You dragged Anna through the back room and nearly reached the exit before Anna pulled free. "We can't leave him in there!"

"He told us to run!"

"He wouldn't leave us!"

You looked at Anna, then toward the swinging doors. It sounded like a small battle had broken out in the main patient area. "Alright. I'll go back and try to get him out. You run ahead!"

"And leave you behind?!" Anna screeched, her face horrified. 

You put your hands on Anna's shoulders. "Listen, you have Miranda to look after. She doesn't have anyone else! So go back to her! Terrian and I will meet you at your apartment later."

Anna hesitated for a few moments, then nodded, tears leaking down her face, and ran out the back door.

You swallowed hard. You quickly scanned the room until you located a scalpel, grabbed it from the counter, then ran back through the swinging doors. The sight laid out before you was worse than any nightmare your sleeping mind could have conjured up. 

Terrian was on the floor, not moving, blood pooling beside his head. Around half the patients were already dead, decapitated or disemboweled in their beds. The rest were shrieking in terror, most of them confined to their beds but trying so desperately to escape that a few of them had tumbled onto the floor and were now crawling in the direction of the back room. Blood was every where, as if the whole room had been painted red, just like the sky. The three half-breeds were calmly making their way toward the back, slaughtering the immobilized patients along the way.

The half-breeds didn't even look angry.

One of them looked up and noticed you. He was taller than the others, with fiery red hair. "Oh, there's one of the nurses," he said.

The other two looked up briefly, then returned to their work with the patients as if they were not even interested. The redhead lunged at you, and you sliced at him with the scalpel. You managed to cut the sleeve of his uniform, and a tiny trickle of blood escaped his arm. To a half-breed, it was less than a paper cut.

He quickly grabbed the hand holding the scalpel and squeezed until you dropped the weapon, then flung you across the room. You hit the wall and slid to the floor, wincing. A couple of the patients froze to watch the unfolding scene. A trembling hand reached out to you from under the bed beside you, and you looked over to see Mr. Renaldo, the elderly patient who flirted playfully with you, peeking out with terrified eyes. He opened his mouth to say something, but the half-breed suddenly threw the bed aside and grabbed Mr. Renaldo by his throat. 

The red-haired monster lifted the old man into the air, then clenched his hand tightly until the man's entire head popped off, like the cork from a bottle of wine. He dropped the now limp body and looked down at you.

You screamed, kicking at the half-breed as he came closer, until you heard an even louder scream. You looked up and saw that Anna had jumped onto the half-breed's back, wrapping her legs around his torso and clawing at his face with her fingernails.

You used the opportunity to crawl away and stand up, your eyes darting over the floor in search of the scalpel. The half-breed finally managed to get a hold of Anna and pulled her off his back, throwing her to the floor. "I found the other nurse," he said to the others. 

The two other half-breeds looked up, then began walking toward him. The woman looked slightly disgusted. "These two human girls are giving you trouble?" she asked with a hollow voice.

The redhead shook his head. "Not really. But we should deal with them first and save the weakest for last."

The other male half-breed, who had very long, straight dark hair that fell to his hips, nodded in agreement. "I'll take the first one, you take the one with short hair."

The redhead grabbed Anna by the wrists then jerked her arms above her head. The half-breed with long hair similarly grabbed you.

The redhead was facing Anna, and leaned his face in close to hers. "This one looks good," he said. His face was completely expressionless, making his words all the more disturbing. "I'll enjoy her first."

Anna screamed, kicking and struggling wildly, like an animal. You couldn't even begin to imagine the absolute horror the other girl was going through. But then the long-haired half-breed looked you up and down, and shoved you onto a cot. "This one looks good as well," he said.

It was your turn to scream again, as you were forced face down on the cot that had only minutes ago held a patient. The full terror of the situation was sinking into your brain. This was the end. You and Anna would be raped and killed right here in the clinic, in the one place that gave you the smallest bit of hope.

Anna's screams of anger and fear turned to sobs of defeat and sorrow as tears poured freely down her face. You could only make out the word "no" among her cries as the redhead wordlessly began tearing at Anna's clothes. You still couldn't understand how he could have no expression on his face. No desire, no anger, no joy. Nothing.

You couldn't help wondering why they were doing this if they couldn't feel anything.

The half-breed woman glanced around the room until her gaze landed in the direction of Terrian, lying near the front door. "Pity, the only good looking man is already dead," she said. "I'll finish off the rest then."

Upon hearing this, the remaining patients began to scream and crawl again, trying desperately to reach an exit. Your face was pressed against the pillow on the cot, but you could see Terrian's body.

Already dead. She said Terrian was already dead.

You stopped struggling then, closing your eyes and going limp. You could still hear Anna crying, but the redhead had moved her to a cot and you could no longer see what was happening to her. You wanted to block it all out, to just pass out or go ahead and die.

Amidst the screams and cries in the room, you heard the sound of the front door swinging open. You immediately thought that a patient was coming in, some unlucky person who would now be killed like the rest. But then you heard it, that familiar mechanical voice saying, "What is going on?"

You opened your eyes and saw Vartan standing in the middle of the room, looking around. His eyebrows were raised, and you remembered that this seemed to be his "shocked expression".

You didn't want him to be there. You didn't want him to be a part of this. You couldn't understand why, but the thought of Vartan participating in this horrible massacre made your heart burn. But he was a half-breed after all, just as Terrian had said. And no half-breed passed up the opportunity to slaughter a few humans.

You heard the redhead speak. "These humans are harboring those who escaped punishment."

Vartan nodded. "I see. And what is their punishment?"

The woman answered. "Execution."

Vartan's eyebrows raised slightly again. "Is that not severe?"

The long haired half-breed who had you pinned down stood up, but kept his grip on your hands, pulled tightly behind your back. This gave you a little more room to move, and you struggled to get a glimpse of Anna. 

Across the room, you could see her on a cot, the redhead literally sitting on top of her. But only her shirt had been removed, her pants and bra still intact.

The long-haired half-breed narrowed his eyes a little at Vartan. "Severe? Is it any more severe than our usual punishments?"

Vartan was quiet for a little while, as if debating on what to say. He looked at Terrian on the floor, then at you. Your eyes met his for a moment, and you could feel your cheeks burning. The situation was mortifying to say the least. Then Vartan suddenly looked back to the long-haired half-breed and said, "I request that you spare the remaining humans."

Your eyes widened. You couldn't believe it. Was he actually helping you? The other half-breeds looked at each other, then at Vartan. Their cold faces hinted vaguely at surprise, then anger.

"Why would you request such a thing?" the redhead asked.

Vartan looked at you again. "They saved me when I was injured. They could have easily let me die. They obviously have no aims of rebellion or going against the Pagoda. They pose no threat to us."

The long-haired man chuckled, the first time you had ever heard a half-breed laugh. "I understand. You have your eye on this woman, don't you?"

Vartan said nothing.

"If you want this human, stop delaying and take her, otherwise someone else will take her first."

Your heart was pounding furiously. Was that it? Was Vartan only helping you because he wanted you for himself?

The half-breed woman sat down on a cot and crossed her legs. You hated to admit it, but she was incredibly beautiful. Her caramel colored hair fell in layers to her shoulders, and her eyes were chocolate brown and hunter green. She looked at Vartan with something resembling a frown. 

"You're shameful, Vartan. Consorting with humans and interfering with their punishment! There is only one reason to interact with these pitiful creatures, and that is for our physical enjoyment. I don't know what you plan to gain by being kind to this human. If you want to enjoy her, do so! But stop embarrassing us with your games!"

You had never heard a half-breed talk for so long, much less with so much anger. You had never heard any form of emotion from them, so this was all very shocking to you. But most bothersome was what the half-breed was saying. Was she telling the truth? Was Vartan just playing some sort of game with you?

Vartan finally responded. "She saved me. I want to help her in return. That's all."

"You can't fool us. We have been watching you since the last incident," the redhead said. "Is this not the second time you have defied us?"

Vartan said nothing, and the long-haired man stepped away from the cot, releasing you. "Alright. We will spare them, but only under the condition that you will accept punishment in their place."

You sat up on the cot, watching Vartan. He looked at you again, then looked to the floor. "I accept."

Before your mind realized what you were doing, your body moved on its own. You rushed toward Vartan, putting yourself between him and the long-haired half-breed. "No, you can't!"

Vartan looked surprised again, but quickly pushed you to the side. "Punishment for us is different from punishment for humans."

"What does that mean?!"

The redhead had left Anna and was standing near Vartan. "He will not be executed," he said flatly.

You looked at Vartan, but he refused to return your gaze. The three other half-breeds gathered around him, then began punching and kicking until he fell to the ground. They closed in even tighter around him, kicking at him with all their might. Finally, he began to grunt in pain.

You had tears in your eyes. You carefully made your way around them and over to Anna, who was sitting up on her own cot, having pulled her shirt back on. Anna was crying too, so you wrapped your arms around her and held her tightly. The two of you sobbed while the half-breeds continued their assault on Vartan, who by now was almost screaming with each kick.

The day wore on, and after another hour had passed, the half-breeds finally stopped and looked at you. "This clinic is officially closed," the redhead told her. "We will be watching, and if it opens again, we will kill everyone inside. We will accept no requests next time, not even from Vartan."

They left out the front door, walking casually as if nothing had happened. When the door slammed shut behind them, you and Anna got up from the cot and walked across the room, beginning your long night of picking up the broken pieces of your last bastion of hope.

[soulessjourney]

Girl With One Eye

Paring: AscendedAstarion x fem!TavReader

Word count: 2.1k

Summary: You were the one who got away, and he's the one who never stopped looking for you. After the fall of the Elderbrain, you vowed to escape Astarion and the person he had become. Now, you reside in seclusion with Halsin and Jaheira, who have spared no effort to help you heal from your pain. Little did you know that when Gale seeks you out for an important mission, returning to Baldur’s Gate would ignite a fire of vengeance within you, aimed at the one who hurt you the most.

Warnings: Language, Violence, Ascended Astarion (he's his own warning), sexual references, angst, hurt and comfort, depression, mentions of suicide, mentions of children, death (no major character death tho....maybe)

A/N: There's something about my Tav that is simply beautiful, and I doubt I'll ever pinpoint what exactly it is. Additionally, I'm excited to announce that I'll be starting to post my fics on AO3! Once I have everything set up on that end, feel free to follow the progress over there too! I'm also contemplating whether to give Tav a name or not. For now, I'll stick with the standard "Tav," but that might change in future chapters.

You weren't sure what you had done wrong that day. Astarion had seemed torn between ascending, but after sharing a quiet evening together before deciding to raid the manor, something inside him had changed. "Astarion, stop. You don’t need to do this. You’ll kill all those spawn," you whimpered, stepping closer to him. Astarion spun towards you, his eyes darkening as his thirst for power began to consume him.

"They're all doomed anyway, Tav. There's no saving them. Unleashing seven thousand bloodthirsty spawn into the world is foolish. This is the best method to protect us, to protect you," he said, desperation evident in his voice, but there was also hesitation behind his eyes. He didn't want this.

"As doomed as they may be, Star, we can't kill them. You're not a killer." Stepping towards him, you stopped when his eyes darkened and his body tensed. Letting out a grunt, you threw your body forward, the metal armor pinching your skin from the position as Astarion began to probe around in your head.

"You are not taking this from me, Tav. I won't let you. I'm trying to give us a future together. I'll be able to walk in the sun with you, and you want to take that opportunity away from us and exile us to a life in the shadows?" he spat, smirking when he found what he was looking for in your head. "I won't let you take that away from me, Darling. You are either with me or against me." With that, he ripped Cazador's shirt from his body and brought the tip of the knife to his skin, smirking as it sank into his flesh. Astarion began to carve the runes into Cazador, your sobs filling the room as you tried to kick him from your mind.

-----

You wake, your body throwing itself forward as a sob tears through your throat. It feels as if you can't breathe, as though someone has their hand wrapped around your throat, cutting off your air supply. Leaning forward, you open and close your mouth in an attempt to force air into your lungs. The door to your room swings open, and Jaheira appears in the doorway, her shadow stretching across the floor where the light sits. Halsin quickly follows, sliding between her and the doorframe. He settles himself on the edge of the bed, gently placing his hands over your shoulders.

"My heart, you need to steady your breaths. Remember our breathing routine. In through your nose slowly, and then exhale," Halsin says, grabbing your hand so you can feel the movement of his chest as he begins to breathe, eventually helping you fall into the routine.

"I hope you die screaming."

Opening and closing your mouth, you wipe at your eyes, urging the tears to stop. Licking your lips, you hiccup, letting your gaze meet Halsin's before eventually glancing at Jaheira.

"I'm sorry for waking you both. I know you were prepping for an appearance with Lae'zel tomorrow." A chill shoots through you as your skin begins to cool.

Jaheira smiles gently at you and makes her way to you. "Little cub, there is no reason for you to apologize. I've noticed the nightmares have grown to happen more frequently now that..." Now that you're hitting the one-year mark of running away from Astarion.

Pulling your knees to your chest, you nod, leaning into Halsin slightly. "I know, and they're only going to get worse. It's been a year since I last saw him, Jaheira, and he still manages to torment me from wherever he is." Halsin and Jaheira weren't even exactly sure what transpired between you and Astarion; all they knew is that you ended up in The Grove, begging that they hide you away from him. You were soaked from the rain, and your feet were raw from running. Halsin had been worried you were attacked, but you weren't. Well, not exactly. You never had it in you to tell them just what Astarion did, and that you ran fearing he would find you.

The two glance at you before positioning you between them. While Jaheria assumed a more maternal role in your life, Halsin was someone you admired and trusted. They both enveloped you in blankets as Jaheria softly caressed your back, humming a gentle tune. Closing your eyes, you surrendered to sleep, this time, the nightmares stayed away.

---

You adjust your position on your knees, feeling the dirt seep into your pants as you continue to work the soil. Halsin had convinced you to join him in the garden to harvest tomatoes and plant flowers. It was a welcomed distraction from the events of last night. Wiping your arm across your forehead, you could sense the dirt leaving its mark on your skin. Your hair was tied back in a loose bun, with strands framing your face. As you move slightly, a flash of purple catches your eye, and you look up to see Gale making his way towards the cabin. Standing up, you greet him with a warm smile.

“Gale! It’s wonderful to see you. What brings you all the way here from Waterdeep?” you ask as he nears.

“Well, you know, adventures and... more adventures,” he replies, his grin widening as he takes in your appearance. The last time you saw him, you were curled up in your room, refusing to eat. Halsin had reached out to Gale in hopes of helping you. After weeks of his company, you had finally started eating regularly again, though you remained closed off about what had happened between you and Astarion.

You turn back towards the house before facing Gale again. "They should be inside. Would you like to come in? You must be tired from the journey,” you offer, gesturing towards the open door where Halsin appears. Deep down, you knew Gale was there for a reason. He had minimized his presence to help keep your location concealed, even vowing to only appear if there was something important to discuss.

Gale nodded and followed you into the room, where Halsin welcomed him with a pat on the shoulder. "Welcome, old friend. It's nice to see you again, though I suspect your visit isn't merely for catching up," Halsin remarked, his eyes hardening with his final words. Over the past year, Halsin had become increasingly protective of you, particularly after witnessing your condition when you arrived one rainy night, covered in mud and wounds. Seeing your once fearless and strong demeanor shattered broke him, reigniting feelings he once harbored for you. Since then, he vowed to keep you safe from Astarion.

Gale smiled grimly before turning to face you. Leading you and Halsin to the couch, he sat down and rubbed his hands over his robes. "You know I wouldn't come unless I truly needed your help. You're the only person I trust to carry out this task," he said, capturing your full attention. You hadn't looked at the armor in your wardrobe for over a year. Since the battle with the Elder Brain, you hadn't been the same. The encounter had changed you profoundly, leaving you unable to wield another weapon after being forced to confront innocent souls turned against you.

"As you know, our former companion has embarked on a quest for ascension. Baldur's Gate is in peril as he targets politicians and his spawn overrun the sewers. During his quest, he awakened something that threatens the city. I've consulted with others and you are my last hope. We need our leader and our courageous fighter," Gale explained gently.

Beside you, Halsin tensed and shook his head. "Do you realize what you're asking of her?" he began, rising to confront Gale. "You're sending her back to where she fled from. You're asking her to confront the man she won't even speak of. I refuse to subject her to that. She escaped once; who knows what Astarion will do if he finds her again. We can't risk her safety."

You felt Jaheira's presence behind you as she observed the exchange between Gale and Halsin. "I believe Tav should have a say in this, just as she did regarding her dealings with Bhaal. We trusted her with that decision, and I'm confident we can trust her with this. She won't be alone in facing Astarion; we'll stand by her," Jaheira suggested, always the voice of reason among the three of you.

She had a point. It had been a year since you escaped Astarion, and you had begun to heal. Perhaps facing him with the support of your friends was the final step you needed. You wouldn't be alone, and maybe you could show him that you didn't need him as much as he believed. "I think it's time I face him, Halsin. I can't move forward if I can't muster the courage to confront Astarion and show him that I'm thriving without him. Besides, I can't turn away from adventure. Astarion is endangering the city, and I feel compelled to stop him," you said gently, resting your hand on his arm.

Halsin hesitated before nodding. Gale clapped his hands together, a gentle smile on his face as he looked between the three of you. "Excellent. We should make haste; Shadowheart is due to arrive in the city tonight. We can use the Sigil to expedite our journey. It's time to don that armor, Tav; you'll need it," he said, locking eyes with you.

---

Your arrival in Baldur’s Gate certainly didn't go unnoticed, especially not with the ear-splitting shriek that Shadowheart let out upon seeing you. Her arms wrapped tightly around you, nearly causing both of you to topple to the ground. Returning her embrace, you let out a hearty laugh before pulling away to take in her appearance. She looked better than ever, her silver hair standing out against her skin. Her eyes seemed softer, and she genuinely appeared happier than the last time you had seen her.

"My gods, Tav, it's been forever since I've seen you. You were missed at the celebration Withers threw," she exclaimed, pausing to brush your bangs from your face. "Astarion was looking for you there. I was surprised you weren't by his side as usual. He grilled Gale and me for hours, trying to glean any information about your whereabouts. Considering what he's become, Tav, I don't blame you for disappearing. If we encounter him here, I promise I won't hesitate to have Gale fry him alive with a fireball," she added gently, causing a soft smile to spread across your lips as she squeezed your arms gently.

You and your small group made your way to Elfsong Tavern, where the entire top floor was reserved for your crew, a small perk after saving the city from mass destruction and assisting in its rebuilding. Stepping into the room, you glanced toward the side where you and Astarion had spent many nights discussing your future before confronting Cazador. It was a time when both of you were genuinely happy, before he became a stranger.

Snapping out of your reverie, you stretched your arms and set your things down near the bed. Shadowheart watched you from across the room before deciding to set up her bed next to yours. "I figured since you're over here alone, I'd join you," she said, her reasoning clear. The memories that lingered in this room had the potential to destroy you, and she didn't want you to face them alone. A small part of you was grateful for her presence.

Gale once again volunteered to cook dinner, resulting in Halsin pleading with him not to touch the food. As you sat back and watched the others bicker, a small smile spread across your face at the sight. It reminded you of the days you traveled together, how close you all were, and the strange little family you had become. All that was missing were a few friends and a vampire desperate for your attention. Frowning at the thought, you looked out the window, watching as people came and went from the tavern. It wasn't until a flash of white hair caught your eye that you stood.

As the others continued to bicker, you slipped out of the room and made your way to the alley where you had seen the white hair. Looking around, you tensed, your hand moving to rest on the blade strapped to your thigh. The feeling of being watched grew stronger, and the soft sound of footsteps sent a chill up your spine just before you whipped around and grabbed the arm of the intruder, slamming them against the wall and holding the dagger against their throat. Your eyes widened as you came face to face with a pair of crimson eyes. "Hello, darling...miss me?"

[sunnycanvas]

Could you do one of unfaithl balwin

I'll try

Warning: Agnst

"Wha- How could you". You said tears streaming down your eyes. You remember Baldwin iv' s tutor William of tyre saying how Baldwin resembled his father not just by his looks and body type but also his way of walking and the tone of his voice were exactly like his father's. You remember hearing court gossip how King Almaric of Jerusalem is said to have absconded himself without restraint to the sins of the flesh and to have seduced married women. Somewhere in your heart you had nagging feeling that perhaps Baldwin iv would do it too considering how similar both father and son were but you respectively dismissed those thought. How you wish you trusted your gut feeling

With tears streaming down your eyes. You fell on the floor. There Baldwin iv stood in the process of wearing shirt and his mistress snickering at you. All those nights you spent nursing him. All those days you layed at each other's arms talking about history and politics came crashing down. Had he been pretending all these times. Did the universe punish you for changing course of history by curing him. You felt that latter was more true. You felt all the people especially nobles laughing at you for being such a fool. All the people especially noble men giving you a glance and snickering or mocking you. For expecting king to remain faithful to you.Did you ever love him? Or did you admire him so much that you never saw his flaws

"Angel" Baldwin iv now fully dressed attempted to talk to you. Hearing him you slapped him. Baldwin iv lightly touched his cheek where he had been slapped. It hurt. Baldwin iv didn't wheather to be grateful to feel sensation of pain or not. Meanwhile his mistress gasped in shock and said "How dare you slap your king" you glared at her angrily and said

"Get out"

Baldwin iv looked at you with stern eyes and warned you with a growl

"(Y/N) don't you dare talk to her like that "

You looked at him in shock and with tears running down your you managed to chock out few words

"You are defending her"

Baldwin iv felt sorry. However nobles keeping mistresses were common. He surely loved you. It's not like he is ever going to abandon you. Why can't you accept this side of him. After all most women go through this

"Angel, listen I have desires-

"Why her"

You said now fully wailing.

"How could you do this to me"

You said this time fully wailing. You cried so much. Your heart hurt. You always thought meeting Baldwin iv was blessing and meant to be. After all you were from future. You never thought it was possible but now it felt like a curse. Baldwin iv wanted to argue but being wise he realised he would be no use and said

"I will talk to you once you calm down"

You glared at him with pain and hatred

"Come now we need to leave her alone"

Baldwin iv told his mistress who left with him smirking. Just when he was about to close the door he instructed the gaurds

"Ensure she doesn't leave this room or escape this castle"

It seems Baldwin iv realised that you wanted to leave him. You truly felt trapped in medieval era where woman weren't treated well. Your fairy tale romance came crashing down in front of you and there was nothing you could do. How you missed the future where you could've easily walked out with divorce and where it wasn't expected for you to be treated like a doormat.

[queenpinesofdomino]

You know why the conversation between Sally and Poseidon is so good and has us losing our shit?

Because of ✨context✨.

I feel like these days the majority of the scenarios don't show you the way the character feel but just the way that they act. Which sometimes those two things are different. Do you know where was the last time that a show showed us well written context behind actions and words? In that kiss scene in Good Omens.

The conversation between Sally and Poseidon is so amazing because it appears that it's just two parents talking about the future of their child, which it is, but it also turns into a conversation between a couple who still loves one another but for reasons can't be together.

Let me show you how I analysed this moment.

So here Poseidon is stating a fact. That Sally doesn't want to sent Percy away and she's responding truthfully that she doesn't. The context behind her multiple no's is :

No Im not ready to separate from him yet

No I don't like the idea of him being away from me

No I can't lose him yet because i feel it'll be like losing you again.

And now you'll say "where do you get the last one from pines?

From here.

"Tell me why" I believe has a double meaning as a sentence.

1 tell me why you can't lose him yet and get it out of your system

and

2 tell me you still love me and miss me

The way he said it with much longing and so strained, in my opinion, that I feel the context behind it is:

"Tell me why you can't lose him. Tell me that you see me in our son. Tell me you miss me because I can't tell you how I feel."

Thats why Sally says "you don't wanna hear why" and if you watch carefully youll see them chuckling a little.

She says "you don't wanna here because if I tell you we both know you'll drop everything and come to me and that can't happen."

I don't have the full subtitle here but Poseidon says

"but you have no one to say it to, and maybe that's the most unfair part of it"

Meaning you don't have any one else who understands what's like to raise a demigod and also you don't have any one else to lean on, to listen and comfort you when things get rough. And that's unfair because I want to be here for you.

And then he says the line that's literally my new roman empire

"YOU SAY IT AND I WILL LISTEN"

(screaming in a pillow)

Context "I will drop everything and come to you if you tell me to. You call me and I'll be here in seconds just like I did now"

I can't this is killing me..

Then we have Sally turning the subject again on Percy with the "I want him to know who he is, before your family tells him who they want him to be" only to counter it with

"he is better than that" and context wise I'm sure she says "you are also better than that. Than them."

I think that, because the camera points at Poseidon at than moment and the when Sally says " he has better things in him than that" she takes a little credit for her contribution into who Percy is, which honestly fuck yeah girly you deserve all the credit, and that's when the camera points at her.

Then Poseidon starts explaining her how the situation is going to be and how it'll be for both her and Percy and he finishes with this

Which also has me screaming and crying on the floor because so far is the closed he's got to look at her. So far he looks down or up front.

And he's so poud of her and I'm... I can't.... He loves her so much......

And because it's obviously a very sensitive sudject emotionally for Sally who's trying to move on or to focus on her child she changes the subject (kinda) again by asking Poseidon

And here we start seeing context purely for Poseidon

I can't post more pictures, but he turns and side looks at Percy and you can seeee that he's considering it very much. He almost says yes. It's so tempting and devastating for him. Only for Zeus to throw that thunder. At first i thought it was Poseidons thunder (as stormbringer) to represent his inner conflict but while I was waiting for it to be heard I noticed that it took to long and that his face didnt show resignation until after it struck. So I strongly believe that, that was Zeus warning him about interving.

And thus we reach the ending monologue where Poseidon states that when Percy is ready, as his mother sees fit he will be at his sons side supporting him as he very much wants.

I swear the context here is so good I'm gonna be thinking about it for days.

Now I'm gonna cry watching Sally/Poseidon edits on the clock up because I physically can't :')