#so even if they aren't romantic they still are y'know? and in my experience i'm 99% sure they're gonna end up dating so

[selfinflictedgunshotwound]

it actually makes me so mad that some people just don't value romance whatsoever like i'm sorry to all aromantic people but if you really think skip to loafer is not going to include romance then you've lost your mind

[sneeperspoi]

One of my favourite aspects about Sniper and Spy's relationship (platonic or romantic) is how they both have a mutual understanding of like, quiet time and what it's like to genuinely feel this certain flavour of solitude:

Sniper has a lot of his work done completely alone; hiding, playing the waiting game, and all that jazz, while Spy has a somewhat similar experience. Sure, his espionage lifestyle has a more active role at times, but his job still requires maintaining distance (physical and emotional) from both clients and targets. Both are dedicated to their work enough that they'd avoid getting genuinely personal with people altogether— even if they wanted to, they know it'd negatively impact their abilities to perform. Sniper having the mindset of having "a plan to kill everyone you meet" and to just "take the shot", and Spy being described as a "puzzle, wrapped in an enigma, shrouded in riddles" is telling of how much of a wall either can put up and any given time.

Now, I'm not saying that the other mercs don't know what it's like to be isolated or that they could never relate to Sniper or Spy in that regard, but their roles aren't necessarily fundamentally built around it, y'know? They aren't required to hide away or to work solo (you could make the joke of "then why are there always 5+ snipers and spies on my team at any given time??" but shhhh this is more in the context of the lore/comics lolol).

I feel like this concept of them realizing their niche similarities and how "hey, maybe I'm not really alone in this world" has so much potential. Like... the idea of them not really participating often in team activities or usually hiding away (in a van and smoking room perhaps?) is great, but to add on the angle that they now have someone who finally understands?? To finally have someone that you don't have to explain anything to?? It hits differently. They could have a smoke together, not saying a word the whole time, and consider it a successful hangout— they don't expect anything from the other, or feel the pressure to act differently because they just get it, and know why things are the way they are.

There's so much angst potential too, forbidden friends/lovers who both know the consequences if things go sour. Maybe they've suppressed so much of that desire to have a relationship (platonic or romantic), that when they finally admit that this is the case (realizing they both feel the same way), something clicks and they try to make it work. Don't even get me started on the potential "hey, maybe I can trust you" aspects either lmao. Regardless of what direction you take though, their relationship growing feels special and unique.

The media too often depicts the whole "can't get close to no one. I don't need friends" attitude as mostly negative and something that needs to be fixed... but with these guys, they're just allowed to be like this. Not saying that there are no cons to this attitude ofc, but it's not necessarily a thing they have to change about themselves or each other or anything. I guess it's refreshing to see that there are still characters out there who can be loners and just be content about it. Unless of course, you want to go down that route. Love that type of angst, but it's nice to have that option without it feeling too OOC. Ugh, there's like so much to explore and deconstruct and so many directions to take this fr fr

((Also, I realize now it's kinda like being an art kid and that moment when you finally meet someone where you don't have to explain why you keep drawing the same old soggy men who shoot each other cuz they just understand. Artist to artist communication lol))

[broken-clover]

Could I request hc’s abt how the ersb gang falls in love? And how they act while pining over their eventual S/o? I miss them :v

Aw, certainly! I can never say no to these! Every time it pops up from the ether it puts a smile on my face

Elphelt

-Elphelt falls in love hard and fast, the actual difficult part is giving the whole thing more depth instead of it just being an idealized concept

-To try and clarify that idea, Elphelt goes in expecting a lot of things about what a relationship could be, y'know, classic scripted romcom trappings up to the nines. The first time something goes undeniably wrong, she'll have a moment of confused realization when the relationship doesn't immediately explode once she's strayed away from some imagined script

-Does not hesitate to make her feelings known, she's the sort to leave love notes in lockers and heap unsubtle praise on her object of affection

-Despite that, she still wonders whether or not she's being too subtle

-Frequent daydreamer, if you approach her in the midst of it she's probably doodling romantic scribbles all over what's nearest. Be careful not to leave any political documents nearby unless you want them plastered with 'Elphelt x s/o' and hearts with arrows all over it

Sin

-He doesn't have a lot of personal experiences with romance, so at first he gets a little confused and wonders why he wants someone to be best friends really, really badly

-He has that infamous 'oh' moment where it just slaps him across the face several weeks in.

-His parents aren't exactly great with advice given their own weird romantic history, but they're at least good at emphasizing the idea of loving deeply even if the circumstances are strange.

-Any attempted confessions ends up taking a long tangent about chairs

-Has no idea how pining works, if anything he'll just end up shouting it and/or dumping everything out to the first person who asks why he's being so absentminded today

Ramlethal

-Ram is the sort of person who believes that a partner isn't too different from a very very good friend. As such, she'll want to make sure she considers someone a friend before she can fathom the thought of being her partner

-Sometimes she gets a little ahead of herself, she can have a hard time knowing what to do in a 'normal' relationship and isn't fully certain whether or not it's appropriate or crossing a boundary . She's trying, but there isn't exactly a manual available

-She knows people like dogs, though, so Ketchup is a good secret weapon. Even if it's painfully obvious she set him out and guided him over in order to have an excuse to start a conversation.

-Ram has an impeccable poker face, but conversely to her sister, she thinks she's being too obvious and is genuinely surprised when someone says otherwise.

Bedman

-He is too intelligent and rational for such sappy displays. He has some level of dignity

-No, that little tchotchke on his shelf isn't the same one that you offered and he reluctantly took, Sin. What are you asking for. Are you a cop.

-He gets very, very mad about having a crush and it's kind of adorable. The thoughts do go away as soon as he wants them to and he scrunches up his face like a grumpy dog

-Unsubtle. Painfully, painfully unsubtle. He does everything shy of walking up to them and shouting 'I'M NOT THINKING ABOUT YOU AND YOU CAN'T PROVE I AM'

[leiawritesstories]

Rowan and Aelin make a pact to get married if they are both still single by 35. Now they’re 35 and get married to their best friend who they never previously saw in a romantic light

OKAY I LOVE THIS SO MUCH thank you for the prompt!!

word count: 837

warnings: idiots in love

enjoy!!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Hey." Rowan whispered into Aelin's ear as she slipped her hand into his, flashing her a conspiratorial grin. "Am I the only one who doesn't feel like this is real?"

Aelin snickered. "Yeah no, I'm still wondering if this is actually a fever dream."

The man at her side muffled a snort of laughter himself. "Pay attention, Ace, aren't we supposed to be all giddy on our wedding day?"

She pinched his side in retaliation, settling her grin as they walked out of the building, wedding license in hand. "Once it settles in that I'm married, yeah."

He laughed. "Well, maybe it'll settle in once everyone's had a few toasts drunk, hmm?"

"I'll drink to that."

~

Fifteen years ago, Aelin Galathynius and Rowan Whitethorn had made a pact.

They may or may not have been slightly tipsy at the time.

After years of being best friends, standing at each other's sides through thick and thin and awful awful exes, they'd decided to be single and happy for the near future, until Aelin had flopped down onto the couch and complained that being single didn't guarantee her a way to get laid.

Rowan nearly choked on his beer. "Shit, Ace! Y'know bars and clubs and Tinder exist, yeah?"

"Sure, if you want to get disappointed," she scoffed. "Ugh, Ro, I just wanna know I'd have someone to make me cum!"

The first thing that sprang to his mind was incredibly inappropriate, so he did not let it come out his mouth. "Wanna make a deal?"

"What is this, Wheel of Fortune?" She smirked. "What's your idea?"

"If we're both single at 35, we should get married." He shrugged at her raised eyebrows. "What? People make these deals all the time, it's just a way of knowing you'll always have someone to, well, make you cum."

She tipped her head sideways, considering. "You know what, yeah. I agree."

"Really?"

"Hell yeah." She raised her bottle to him. "If we're single at 35, we're getting married." And they clinked bottles and drank on it, neither of them really believing that they'd both be single at 35.

Whether either of them nurtured a secret hope that they would fall in love with each other before that day came to pass, no one could say.

~

"So whose place are we gonna move into?" Rowan asked as he parked in front of his townhouse, opening the door for Aelin. "Since we're married now, ya know."

"I like my house better," she grinned. "Husband. Gods, it's weird to say that. In a good way," she hastened to add, seeing the way his brows knotted. "A very good way."

"Good," he chuckled, "'cause I don't want our marriage to be weird, wife."

Gods, the way that word sounded on his tongue made her feel...strange. Good strange.

Like she might be secretly in love with him strange.

She hid all those traitorous feelings under her trademark sass. "You gonna carry me through the doorway, darling husband?"

"If you wish, dear wife," he said grandly, sweeping her into his arms and carrying her inside, closing the door behind them before he set her back onto her feet.

"Such a gentleman," she laughed.

"Only the best for my wife." He winked. "Speaking of the best...fancy the best night of your life?"

Her brain froze. "I--what?!"

The softest of flushes graced his cheekbones. "Well--uh--isn't it traditional to, uh, consummate a marriage?" The poor flustered man was full-on blushing by the end of his stammered sentence. Years and years of sexual experience, and he still got tongue-tied mentioning anything even remotely sexual around her.

Because he was head over heels in love with her, and she didn't even suspect it.

"Oh, husband," Aelin crooned, the gleam in her turquoise eyes sending ripples of heat pulsing through his body, "if I'd have known you intended to bed me, I'd have worn my better lingerie."

Rowan took a step towards her. Another. Another, drawing so close that only a breath separated them, only a bare fraction of air that was rapidly growing thicker with heat and tension and twenty years of unspoken words. "You don't need lingerie to be the most beautiful woman I've ever seen," he whispered.

"Ro," she breathed, something deep and unnamed breaking through her gaze. "Are you--"

He swallowed her question with a tentative kiss, his lips soft and warm and inviting and gods, just everything she'd ever dreamed of, his kiss an answer to her lingering question. Yes. Always yes.

"Aelin," he whispered against the delicate skin of her neck, his big hands pressing her into him, every curve of her melding so seamlessly, so perfectly, to every hard plane of him. "Are you--"

She answered his question with her own kiss, her hands freeing the zipper of the dress she'd worn, letting the fabric pool on the floor. "Yes," she murmured, reveling in the way his eyes traced her body, a love she hadn't known she could feel bursting up within her.

Always yes.

Always him.

~~~

TAGS:

@charlizeed

@cretaceous-therapod

@clea-nightingale

@autumnbabylon

@nerdperson524

@fireheartwhitethorn4ever

@morganofthewildfire

@rowanaelinn

@wesupremeginger

@stardelia

@shanias-world

@mybloodrunsblue

@swankii-art-teacher

@wordsafterhours

@cookiemonsterwholovesbooks

@violet-mermaid7

@holdthefrickup

@goddess-aelin

@rowaelinismyotp

@dealfea

@irondork

@elentiyawhitethorn

@live-the-fangirl-life

@darling-im-the-queen-of-hell

@chronicchthonic14

@lovely-dove-zee

@sweet-but-stormy

@hanging-from-a-cliff

@jorjy-jo

@rowaelinrambling

@thegreyj

@silentquartz

@backtobl4ck

@throneofus7

@elizarikaallen

@llyncooljones

@booknerdproblems

[littlespoonevan]

Ciara!! you are so real for that tag 'i just wanna be hELD' like???? relationships were never a necessity in my life,,hell,,im 28 and like never had one actually and it never truly bothered til this year. I feel embarrassed for not having anyone in my life ever and start to think that maybe I have some kind of a problem? because yes I haven't actively searching for it but also nobody offered anything? showed any interest?idk? and these days all I want is just to be held. I wanna come to a home where im 100% me. I'm sorry dumbing this on you I am thinking about it a lot these days and seeing your post and tags was like universe screaming at me or sth

oh bud, you are absolutely not dumping this on me!!! i'm nodding along vigorously with everything you're saying!!!!

i've been in one relationship (which was bad for So many reasons and certainly was not romantically fulfilling in any way) and i've dated a little but the true, genuine affection that comes with being loved by someone is just......not something i've ever experienced lol.

and i think when talking about it online a lot of the time the legitimate reasons some people have for wanting to be in a relationship sort of get brushed off in a 'you don't need a relationship to be happy!!!! romantic love isn't everything!!!! be proud to be alone!!!!' kind of way. and i mean. like you said, i'm fine on my own generally. it doesn't bother me. and i don't need a relationship to be happy.

but also. i'm still allowed to want one?????? why shouldn't we get to fall in love, u know??? or find that happiness and love and affection with somebody????? why should i have to settle for being alone when most of the world isn't????

and y'know, re the age thing, i think it's a vicious cycle bc the older you get, the more it maybe feels embarrassing to reveal your lack of experience with relationships so it can make you back out of dating someone before things get serious but then that just means going Even Longer without having those experiences askjdfh i have yet to work through that issue myself lol

also. i know dating apps have been very helpful in one way but in another i feel like they have rUINED dating culture bc it feels like now you do have to be actively looking in order to date anyone. (i am so firmly against the whole 'it'll happen when you least expect it' thing that is highkey not true anymore askjdfh) but my experience of those apps is just everything feeling so formulaic and like you're ticking boxes of the same basic conversation you have with multiple different people while also swiping past people you could potentially really like bc all you're seeing is a few pics and whatever info they've decided to reveal in their bio (which is usually extremely limited). and in general, i think they really don't benefit people who prefer knowing someone in person/being friends first before dating (like me)

but yeah tl;dr. it's really hard sometimes, when i've had a bad day or i'm stressed, to know if one of my friends felt like that they can go home to partners who'll hold them and comfort them and make their day better without having to be asked. and i just....go home, pick myself back up, and carry on. it would just be nice to not have to deal with everything on my own, y'know?????

relationships certainly aren't everything and not all of them are good but also i would like someone to take care of me now, thanks 🥺

[treeofnonsense]

Talk to me about ace friendo - 1, 8, 20, 21, 28, 33, and 34 🤍💜

THANK YOUUUUU I GET TO RAMBLE IT'S GOING TO BE LOONG

1. Which labels do you use?

Asexual and aromantic cis(???how do you define cis???) woman. There are probably some microlabels under the ace/aro umbrellas that could describe me but I don't tend to dive into microlabels anymore - I've found that defining myself by those feels more like cutting myself up to fit into little boxes rather than finding a space I'm comfy in. I'm okay with being referred to as gay when it's a joke or as part of a group (ie "one of the gays" "gay people in your phone") and I'll count myself as a member of the LGBT community if directly asked (though I'm always a little hesitant because they don't always want to include me back). I don't use queer because I've never had it thrown at me and don't feel I have the right to reclaim it.

8. Describe your gender without using any words traditionally related to gender:

I don't know how, but you got the right answer with the wrong equation.

20. Do you feel like you "fit in" with the queer/Pride community overall?

Yes and no. I'm very thankful for the community because it's the only place I've felt able to be my full self, but on the other hand there is definitely a disconnect for a few reasons. One is that I live in a non-urban conservative area, and a lot of Pride stuff seems to default to urban and liberal. I've never been to a Pride parade - not because I want to but because there aren't any where I live. People forget those of us who live in the boonies I think - or they actively look down on us, which sucks. Sometimes the discourse feels so above my head - they're talking stores taking down their Pride decorations while I haven't even noticed the change because they NEVER do that here in the first place.

The other thing is that there was definitely a pushback towards asexuals specifically being considered LGBT a few years ago. Don't know the exact timeframe (I thankfully wasn't around online during that time) but the ripple effects can still be felt. I think the idea is that we were actually just heterosexual imposters in disguise or something - it's stupid - but it's made me very nervous about joining any LGBT groups. I always have to check to see if the LGBT+ actually includes the A, y'know? Add to that the fact that the LGBT community naturally talks a lot about sex and romance (understandable, I'm not trying to change it, on a logical and ideological level I think talking about these things frankly is good) and I can sometimes feel alienated there. Some LGBT people seem to think that sexual freedom means "everyone should have sex all the time" and like ... no. It means the freedom to choose whatever you want. If you're forcing something on me you're just as bad as everyone else.

21. What message would you give to your younger self?

Measure your life's value in happiness, not money.

28. Do you experience both romantic and sexual attraction? Do you experience them the same across any gender(s) you are attracted to?

I definitely do not have the sexual attraction, for anyone. I can tell generally when someone is supposed to be hot, but only because I've learned from experience what is socially accepted as "hot". I can definitely find people beautiful but it's in the same way I'd find a landscape beautiful - I want to stare at it, maybe I want to draw it, but nothing else. I've noticed I tend to find women beautiful more often than men; I don't know if that's because I'm more familiar with the biology, because women tend to dress up more due to societal pressures, or just a weird preference. But again, it never progresses beyond aesthetic appreciation and there have definitely been guys I like to look at too so it's not 100% reliable.

Romantic is harder. When you take out everything physical, I have a hard time telling the difference between a romance and a close friendship. I'm dense as a brick when people flirt with me because I literally cannot tell they're not just being friendly. I know I'm not upset by being single like some people seem to be, but I do get lonely without friends. There are people I want to get to know better and do stuff with - is that wanting friends? Romantic attraction? I DUNNO MAN! Most people do not seem to have this problem, so I assume I'm different and slap the aromantic label on myself. It works.

33. What about your LGBT identity do you feel proud of/want to recognize/celebrate?

I'm proud of my own independence when it comes to relationships. I don't need a significant other or a sexual partner to be "complete," contrary to what the world says. If you want those things, by all means, but for those people who are ace/aro, who aren't ready for a relationship, or are learning to just exist as themselves alone for the first time, I want to be living proof that it is possible to be happy on your own. You are not half of a person if you are single. You are a whole person. Just you is enough.

34. What are you needing most right now (what would make your life easier or more fulfilling in regards to existing as queer)?

I need a new wardrobe. Been having Gender Thoughts(TM) thanks in no small part to some of my mutuals going through it and I'm now realizing that a lot of my clothes don't really fit who I am in my head anymore. My family was kinda poor growing up and I learned not to waste things, so I have a lot of old clothes and hand-me-downs still left over, many of which are pretty classic feminine. I want to try getting some more masculine stuff and see how that feels. (if uh... if any of you have advice for going slightly more masc please let me know, this is new to me and I am confuzzled)

Living in an area where I don't see Trump 2024 signs, blue-line cop stuff, and Confederate flags every four feet would be nice too, but that's a longer-term goal.

[bi-sapphics]

bi women whining about lesbians having boundaries is the REASON some lesbians prefer les4les relationships smh

okay, i said i didn't wanna get into this too much, but this ask is kinda pissing me off because it's yet again dismissing us calling out the very real and harmful treatment we face as "whining." i'm going to put effort into this answer, because i haven't seen anyone talking about it outside of twitter and i'd like a post i can fall back on for reference.

ANYWAYS.

what boundaries though, anon? please do specify. because i've heard plenty of reasons for deciding to go les4les float around many times now, and they've never expanded out of the following criteria (and anything related):

Bi Women Bad™

bi women are tainted by men

(potential) attraction to men ruins a relationship where no men are involved

bisexuals cheat (yeah, still, it's a belief)

all bisexuals are polyamorous, dirty, liars, uncommitted, etc.

bisexuals inherently can't be gold stars, which, matters for some clean purity reason i guess??

bi women "don't understand" what it is to live a life solely dedicated to women and other sapphics (+ to exclude men), and/or somehow "couldn't provide" a lesbian what they're looking for in a relationship. this has NEVER been elaborated on, especially the latter idea. and theoretically speaking, lack of experience doesn’t make for worse or lesser support.

if a bisexual identifies as butch or femme, it ruins the unnecessary safety illusion that all butch/femme relationships will be les4les without fail. it's literally just the same TERF rhetoric as the safety illusion that all WLW relationships will be AFAB4AFAB. no, really, unpack that. what makes you feel safer about knowing your partner isn't transfem, or, y'know, bisexual (also one is much more conceptual than the other, which is more materialistic. so like. yeah. what's the point.)

bi women aren't apologetic to lesbians for who they are 24/7 and therefore oppress them

bi women "are homo/lesbophobic" (see: not tolerating biphobia & harassment, using butch/femme, being dykes, using the term "sapphic", using the ⚢ symbol, sharing a history with lesbians without needed permission, daring to ask for a community of solidarity with lesbians, not exclusively dating women in their own personal lifestyle choices, etc.)

the false and generalized assumption that *all* bi women are *actually* homo/lesbophobic (see: forcing lesbians to like men, claiming comphet can't be real because it makes one bisexual instead, erasing canon lesbian characters, derailing lesbian posts, being ignorant towards lesbian issues, and/or otherwise treating lesbians really shitty and not including them where they belong, etc.) ─ including this one because for some reason, it's a one-way street and the reverse is bad-faith, bigoted, and exclusionary.

ETA: bi people don't talk enough about mspec lesbians, apparently (even though they do so pretty much all the time on twitter but ok)

keep in mind that these are all things that i have ACTUALLY SEEN being used as arguments consistently over time with my own eyes, unironically. and yes, they are always about bi women. who else would it be, pan women? other mspec women? who else could be a potential romantic/sexual partner to lesbians? who else is les4les designed to be a protective shield against?

i've never seen a good faith reason that isn't either biphobic, misogynistic, a combination of both, or two-sided in a way that acknowledges bi women can't oppress lesbians, despite how much we try to add that when we agree that lesbians don't oppress bi women either. or even anything that doesn't exclude the fact that, behaviorally, we can do anything that you can too (not regarding inherent attraction).

i guess i'll address bi4bi while i'm at it. i'm not a hypocrite, i think the same thing goes for us. lesbians can't oppress us, lesbians can do whatever another bi sapphic can, yes lesbians can be biphobic but it's not a trait they all share in one big hivemind ─ and it's certainly not enough in numbers to consider a bi separatism movement for radical purity reasons (*cough* lol lmao), etc. i've seen some people say bi4bi is acceptable because mspec hatred within the queer community is so much worse than monos get within their own rightful spaces, which, i see where they're going i guess (because we do face the highest statistics from both sides), but i disagree because in the LB dynamic neither letter has more power over the other in the real world, and certainly not enough to unbalance ourselves into inconsistency like that.

the other thing i want to say is, i don't inherently have a problem with any random les4les or bi4bi relationship picked out of a hat in a lottery. i even headcanon some of my favorite ships as such sometimes. also, factually, some fictional ships and even real relationships are one of those two, or bi4les/les4bi. as i said in the tags you're responding to, anon, these types of relationships aren't inherently flawed, especially if they form by chance and not intentional setup. in fact, those like t4t, aut4aut, ace4ace / aro4aro / aro4ace*¹, blk4blk, disabled4disabled, and the like actually have a systemic and structural reason for setting their preferences. but doing this just to avoid other sapphics? the "safety" reason is absolute bullshit, and just creates a further unnecessary divide among mono and mspec sapphics that really shouldn't be created. we're not a danger to each other, we're both in danger from everyone else ─ namely, the straights™.

hell, i would even say casually looking for a partner who shares your orientation labels is totally valid, even though the preference would have no real basis or weight if it's not in bigotry. and then if you fall in love with someone and they don't meet that expectation, so what!! who cares!! it'd be a really dumb loss of opportunity to say no due to that minor and irrelevant difference despite the fact that you both seemed ready to commit to each other as partners. that, and actively excluding harmless groups of people, making it your life mission at all costs, especially for a few twitter discourse points™, is such a waste and only hurts real people's feelings, yourself included.

you're welcome to send another ask just to mock me or say i'm wasting my time proving your point by whining about “the mean angry oppressive lesbians”, or whatever i dunno. but i just want you to ask yourself what really makes these particular "boundaries" so important to you. what makes you feel threatened? we're not forcing you to go date a bi woman right the fuck now or else you're Biphobic, i'm just asking you why you would (hypothetically, of course) reject a bi woman as a potential partner at the top of your list upon finding out she's not a lesbian. i answered why this matters so much to us, but i actually do want to know, why does this matter so much to you? just wondering.

*¹aros & aces absolutely do not share the same rivalry and discourse among each other like they do with the rest of the queer community. aro4aro people have never made it a point to exclude ace people, but rather alloromantics as a whole, and vice versa. that is why they are not comparable to the sapphic side of _4_ discourse, as generally speaking, unlike aros & aces, lesbians & bisexuals treat each other far too often on a wider scale like enemies rather than sisters in sync (which is what we should be doing instead).

[fictionfixations]

a stray aro in a romance game

imagine an aro character in like a romance game (i think they're called like otomes, or bishojo?? idk) (if you aren't aware, aromantic means they don't experience romantic attraction)

i mean, i know there are different types on the spectrum. so like. imagine, they dont hate romance, but they don't really care for it either?

so just imagine them not reacting to any romance moments lmfao

and they just. become everyones friend (IM STILL not over the fact that in this one game, if you just be kind to everyone and dont get enough ♥ points for any specific character, you just get a bad ending. like. why cant i make friends with everyone sob)

and probably become the therapist friend actually, because i swear all of them have some sort of trauma to face... and the goal of the game is to do something to fix it..??? or to uncover the truth? maybe? I don't know I haven't played that many.

Mostly because I like in games where you can just choose to be a friend and not date anyone? I don't know sometimes parts of it get really cringe-y. (I tried not doing those options, but turns out I kind of do need to choose them to go through that route agh) And I kind of just play for the story at this point.

The only exception: Gay. If a gay route exists, it's always mine, because those routes tend to be like your best friend, so it's like a two for one deal. (Jaehee my beloved)

anyway thats it

i think i had more to say but ive been thinking on this thought for so long that some parts have degraded into something i can't decipher anymore

------

person: *trying to charm you with idk magic??*

you: *blink blink*

person: wHY WONT IT DO ANYTHING

you: oh, sorry, i dont do that

person: WHAT?? ????

you: you see...

person: oh. you know, you're probably pretty strong if you didn't even feel anything

you: *nod nod*

person: oh. ok. you're kinda cool.

you: thanks

person: ... ...do you wanna be friends? *starts trauma dumping* ..i feel like everyone i meet is always just dazzled by my looks or my magic, and want something from me all the time. and i know i dont really help it, but even if i dont they'll still be after me, y'know? so i guess if i can trick myself into thinking that i'm doing this to myself, then i feel a little better. like i have more control.

you: *nodding encouragingly*

person: so i guess. its just refreshing to meet someone immune to my charms for once

you: i see

[turtlemagnum]

self indulgent rant about my own experiences with body shaming and what i view as my own lack of attractiveness as opposed to what other people seem to think about me

so like, from what i see people talk about online in terms of body image issues, it seems to come from other people's opinions for most people? and that's wild to me, because i'm not sure i've ever had anybody other than myself call me ugly. like, i knew a person who was probably the most attractive person i've ever known, like honest to god celebrities and porn stars can't compare to her, and she told me that i was attractive. and yet, as i exist, i look in the mirror and am disgusted with what i see, y'know? i feel fat and ugly and overly hairy, and while i am inarguably fat and hairy, that's also like, attractive to some people? which is wild to me, because i unequivocally feel like the guy in an ugly bastard hentai, yet this is all internal, and i don't know where this is fuckin coming from???

in regards to body shaming, i'll say i've only meaningfully experienced it once, and i need to specify that this isn't meant to be a #humblebrag or anything like that, because this was sincerely and deeply damaging to me when it happened. but that beautiful person i mentioned, well. i was young, and stupid, and i had finally measured my dick for the first time, and it turned out i was well endowed. i told her about this, and she said i was "too big". my heart fucking dropped out of my chest, something so mild, but so accusatory, it hurt me beyond belief. i already have problems with rejection, and this was a rejection of who i am as a physical being where i have no recourse to change this shit. hell, while i've definitely grown since then, i lost like an inch and am still back to where i was when i knew her because i've also gained a lot of weight. so like, i really empathize with other men shamed for their dick size, because while it happened to me for the opposite reason than it's societally expected to, i'm sure it still hurts the same, y'know? this shit sucks, man.

now, fit all this in with my recent lack of romantic success, right? i tried using a dating app a while back, and got about as close to no attention as i could've gotten without literally getting no attention. i used bumble which meant that i couldn't message people first, and i think i got like 2 or maybe 3 messages, and one of them was just somebody asking me if i wanted to play fucking minecraft, only for him to summarily ghost me. and like, on things like that, your looks are really all that matter to other people, right? so that just hammered it home for me, "i shouldn't fucking even bother"

i don't know where i'm going with all of this, to be frank. just helps getting it out, i guess?? i dunno man, this sucks. i've been telling myself i need to work on myself before i can get into a romantic relationship, but i'm not sure what i can even do in the isolation i'm in. it feels like everyone i care about slowly pushes me away, doesn't care what i have to say, doesn't even bother responding. it hurts, seeing people go about their lives without me, y'know? it feels like i'm always there for people when they need me, and never the other way around. i'm always quicker to respond to messages, which doesn't sound like a big deal, but when i'm the only one who seems to give a shit in a relationship, it feels hard to keep going. do i care too much??? should i care as much as i do???? god, i want to LOVE, i want to care for somebody, and i want for somebody to fucking reciprocate. aren't i good enough??? will i ever be good enough????? the island between me and every other fucking person feels like an eternity, and i seem to be the only one that cares. i want to love, and it feels like nobody wants to love me. maybe this is what i deserve, for the people i've hurt. for all the times i've tried to help, and only made it worse. maybe this hell is deserved. hell if i know

[cob-muses]

01.  Please do not softblock me, I will think tumblr has glitched. If you want to softblock please hardblock instead. 

02. Asks from anybody are cool with me! Whether it be ic or ooc However things like anon hate will just be deleted i don't have time for that bs.

03.  Mun is a minor and also AroAce, I am not interested in romantic or sexual ships. All others are fine though.

 04.  Please tag animal abuse and animal death for me.  as well as mentions of bug parasitism. These aren't triggers per say they just gross me out/make me mildly upset.

05. If your blog is 18+ only i will block you. This is so i don't get confused and yknow forget your a 18+ blog, no bad vibes man! We're chill just y'know.  

06. I have no time limit on memes! However If its a few days old i ask that you link to it in your ask. I may eventually add a time limit on threads however I currently don't have one. 

07. Please be patient with me! I'm still learning all the different Lingo and such. As well as getting grounded with how I want this blog to look and how to format my posts.

08. I will try to match my partner's length when roleplaying. Though it may fluctuate on how much muse I have for that thread. This blog will be sporadic activity. 

09. I would appreciate it if you notified me if you drop a thread of ours. I have had some bad experiences with getting ghosted in the past. Oh- and don't be afraid to ask about my replies! 

10. I am multi-muse and oc friendly. 

11. Even if im not up for roleplay that day my dms are always open! However they are for ooc/planning talk only! I actually prefer to talk with a mun before roleplaying. However I may be a bit late on replies. I am often on late at night and may fall asleep by accident. I also tend to get sucked into tasks and am usually doing a task while chatting. So it may take a bit for me to remember to check my dms and reply.

13. Dni if your: A kink/DDLG blog, Support minor/adult relationships n such, racist, or LGBTQ-phobic in any way. 

[aplatonic-stuff]

I've always been intrigued by the term Aplatonic. It fits me, even as an acearo. But it's always associated with trauma. I look up the definition and it's all about "traumatized aros".

It just kind of sucks y'know? One, for those who aren't traumatized, and 2, I am traumatized.

Am I actually aplatonic? Is it only real because I'm traumatized? Will I ever love someone at all? Do I just keep hanging on?

I never wanted sexual or romantic attraction, but I want deep meaningful friendships at the very least. It just feels...wrong, I guess? To be alone. That I'm like, missing out?

Idk. It's tough being loveless sometimes.

yeah, aplatonic if often times viewed as intertwined with trauma, despite the fact it isnt inherently so. for many individuals, their aplatonicism is intertwined with their trauma, but the aplatonic experience is so varied it sucks to be tied to only one kind it also isnt exclusive to aros, in fact it was first coined by an alloromantic person. so overall, the ‘traumatized aro�� connection with aplatonicism, while true for some, shouldnt be applied to all

but even if youre only aplatonic because youre traumatized, that doesnt make it any less real. identity is a complex experience, for many it is influenced by other experiences, and thats just as valid as those who are the way they are inherently. i have been aplatonic my whole life, and i dont have any trauma affecting my identity, but that doesnt make me any more real of an apl than you. identity formed or influenced by trauma is just as real and valid as those that arent

there is a chance you may someday love someone, but theres also a chance you wont. regardless, i personally dont see the point in just hanging on. you exist as you are now, whether or not you will change in the future shouldnt restrict you from anything now. if you feel aplatonic is helpful to you, i encourage you to try to discard the thought of the future, and try whats helpful now. this isnt a choice where theres no going back, so theres no reason to worry about what may happen in the future. if something changes in the future, you can adjust your labels to match. but until then, its okay match your labels to how you are now

plenty of aplatonic people still have friendships, and plenty still desire them. its okay to want friendships, a deep meaningful friendship doesnt contradict with an aplatonic identity, its a matter of action as opposed to attraction but its also okay to not want that. i have definitely experienced that feeling of missing out. like if not romance or sex, i should at least want friendship. that thought is so deeply ingrained that its hard to determine what i truly want. do i want friends? or do i just feel i need them? it can be hard to tell

but it is your own life, your own experience. its okay to be alone, and to want that. theres no right way to live your life, and theres nothing to get wrong. youre not missing out by just being different. everyone fills their lives with different things. i dont think i could live a fulfilled life without drawing, but im not going to say that people who dont draw are missing out, not nearly. its something that fills my life, something that is entirely unimportant to others. and i find that wonderful, the differences between people. for some, life without friendships is lonely, for some, life with friendships stifling. neither is any less of a valid experience.

i find it hard to put thoughts into words, and this is a bit rambley, but i hope its at least a bit helpful ive previously made two posts on a similar topic to those last two paragraphs, perhaps youll find those helpful

[sisterdragonwithfeathers]

A Love both Strong and Warm

a wild rexsoka analysis post appears

Y'know, so often I see the "dramatic realization" or the "dramatic one side has always known" tropes for rexsoka, and those aren't bad (I know I've enjoyed reading them), but my favorite dynamics are always the most canon-compliant ones.

What we see in canon is a slow buildup of friendship, sparking at first from wartime comradery, and growing into something that withstood their separation when Ahsoka went out on her own, and was strengthened by how they had grown as individuals when they met again.

We only see them reunited for one arc (though they may have stayed together longer than that, we just don't see it), but in that one arc they show incredible acceptance, respect, admiration and care for one another. They share experiences and values and hopes for the future. They trust each other enough to open up and confide their deepest questions and insecurities about their own lives and purpose.

I believe this suggests that their relationship, had the world not shattered around them, would have progressed so naturally that they themselves would not realize when it shifted in a romantic direction. They're not stupid, they would wake up to it eventually, but it might be a literal (sort of) waking up, as in "I'm thinking this thought that's romantic and it's about you" or "you fell asleep on/next to me and oh wow this really isn't a 'just friendship' kind of relationship" or even "this future I'm imagining with you in it really doesn't look like a friendship anymore".

Maybe one would still realize before the other, be the first to "wake up", but my point is that while both of them have lived lives of hardship, have hardened themselves and had parts of them hardened by circumstance, are unyielding warriors and confident leaders, they are vulnerable, even intimate with each other, and I can't imagine that softness wouldn't extend to their romance.

[scyllascriptor]

"I know you CLAIM to be queer but it SEEMS like you only talk about dudes so-" Said someone on an an artist discord server I hang out on.

Ah, but you see. I don't like them in a straight way, because I am not straight. (Serious queer-ass shit under the cut)

It took me until I was in my late 20's or early 30's to realize that even if I experience attraction toward a cismen my attraction is not heterosexual because I am inherently queer. That's why I say "pansexual" too - because whatever you think my attraction is you're incorrect.

It was one motherfucker of a mindjob realizing that the way I was attracted to cismen was COMPLETELY fucking different than my cishet women friends. They'd say things that were like... completely alien to me, but for them it was just normal and natural. I couldn't wrap my head around some of it, let along smile and nod along. And that was also part of realizing that no... I wasn't just kinda butch and a little gay.

It was terrifying, too. Understanding that as an already awkward person with something different about my wiring, that... it would make me hard to love. Not unworthy of it, just very difficult to find someone who fit against that comfortably. Unpack that one for a hot minute.

By the by that's why I never really established deep friendships with folks who ID'd as cishet women when I was younger, and still struggle now. Everyone assumed it was the whole "tee hee I'm not like the other gals", when it wasn't. It was being so gently, casually, expected to fit a specific mold that was alien and sometimes upsetting to me, and the self-hatred it caused when I couldn't (and sometimes absolutely brutal bullying). Sometimes being around very "stereotypically feminine" people triggers absolute pants shitting dysphoria and feelings of inadequacy. I'm nearly 40 and I'm still trying to deprogram myself.

This, as you might imagine, is also somewhat distressing for straight cismen who miss the fact that while I was DFAB, I am not a "she". Because, y'know... they're usually expecting their normal, which is alien rituals to me, and I'm over here in my normal which might as well be a Clive Barker novel to them.

And I can't explain it. I can only show you the emotional bruises and scars.

And that sets aside the whole learning curve of trying to figure out whether you think someone is hot, or whether you're just enamored by how beautiful the whole shape of them is with absolutely ZERO interest in them as a sexual being or romantic partner with special bonus added complexity that you never asked for.

OR whether you actually just wish you could look like them (shout out to Willem Dafoe in "Loveless"). THAT one's a real motherfucker to get a hold on. AND sets aside the whole OTHER part about attraction toward other genders and how that interplays with the whole inherently queer thing.

Anyway I guess the gloss on this is: Don't be that person on the art discord. That shit's an asshole move and you have no idea what someone else's experience is, or where they are along the winding and unpleasant road to processing it. Were I even a few years younger or in a slightly less okay place with "everything" - that would've really fucked me up and put me in a very dark place.

Normalize being like "It's rude as shit for you to even make that statement in the first place and you aren't as woke as you think you are. I'd politely request that when it comes to my identity you keep your commentary to yourself."

Normalize: "I don't categorize you as a potential partner and therefore won't discuss the minutia of that topic with you."

Normalize: "Oh I'm gay as fuck but I just don't talk about women all that much because most of you are straight women and gay men so there's less frequently an opportunity to say that Sigourney Weaver can put me in a half-nelson and personally introduce me to god (respectfully)."

Anyway. IDK. Maybe an overshare, but I typed it all up to chew their face off and then they got banned. It felt like something that just... could bear stating.

[igne-et-sanguine]

haven't interacted w/ ya much but hai

can be answered either in character or ooc but got some questions for ya;

What’s Quackity’s idea for a perfect date night?

How do you think Quackity reacts to rain? Thunderstorms?

Has Quackity ever dyed/decorated his feathers?

Besides the rings, does Quackity ha/ve any mementos/trinkets from his fiancées

Lastly, do you have a favorite flower?

-Fundy

Even though he's changed a lot, Quackity is still as romantic as he was in the past. He would set up the tackiest (but still very cute) dinners, complete with rose petals, candles, crumpled flowers he picked himself, and watching the stars. He just loved his boys so much, and big, stupid dates was one of the only ways he knew how to show it. Now, Q would probably be a little more on the down low with his dates. Surprising, because he has all this money and power right at his fingertips, he could be as flashy as he wanted to. But a lot of that is really just a show. Nowadays, he's scared of being vulnerable in public due to how it's been used against him, so he'd be much more happy having dates that aren't in the public eye. He is still a romantic at heart though, so he would definitely still have nice dates. Dinner and dancing in the Needle, most likely. Just, more put together and not as tacky and sweet as the old Q.

Because he's a duck, I think Q loves the rain. I only think so because my ducks go absolutely nuts when it rains, haha! He would probably have to be dragged inside by Sapnap to stop from catching a cold from standing out in it. Thunderstorms on the other hand. He's not outwardly afraid of them, but the loudness, and the shaking booms feel a little too explosive sometimes, y'know?

When he was a kid, Q probably did decorate his feathers and have fun with them any way he was able to. As he got older though, he just preened and took care of them to make them as beautiful as he could. He definitely gave his feathers away when they fell, and I'm sure he dyed those feathers and experimented with them. His wings were his prized feature, and he made them look so. After Schlatt though, it's rare that he even looks at them. Matted, mangled, and probably a little bloody, he doesn't think they're worth decorating anymore.

He definitely keeps a few things from them, like some of Karl's many rings, or Sapnap's bandanas and chains. When he was feeling clingier on days they were away, he would usually just pull on one of their hoodies and called it a day. He's smaller than both of them, so most of their clothes fit him. After the implied 'seperation' arc however, he just left all of their stuff behind and didn't take anything with him. He thought it was the best way to cope, but one day when going through his older clothes, he found some things in the pockets of his old blue jacket. A white, checkered bandana, and a purple and blue rope bracelet. They now sit in a locked drawer in his desk.

My favorite flowers are lillies and cornflowers :]

[geekgirles]

My opinion on Kagami

I've been wanting to do this for a while, and the latest leak we got from Jeremy only gave me more reasons to share.

Now, know that I'm not trying to roast anybody or shaming them for their opinions under any circumstances. I just want to share mine.

Nowadays, my thoughts on her are... complex. The easiest way to sum this up would be with the same point many other fans experience through Lila: hate her character but love her design. Please, put the knives down!

I don't hate Kagami, but I'd be lying if I said I'm happy with the way she's being handled. From my point of view, she's very cute! From all her freckles to her bright brown eyes... Not to mention her clothes! I totally saw one of my dream outfits in hers. In terms of view, what's not to like?

Now, the way she's currently written... That's another story.

In my opinion, she's kind of gone downhill since Riposte. Then, we got a glimpse of what a healthy love rival looked like. She acknowledged Adrien's fondness of Marinette in no time, didn't show signs of falling head over heels for him at first sight (no easy feat for this show, tbh) and didn't treat Marinette as a threat right away! Bonus points for fencer girl!

But ever since Frozer... Kagami's character has turned from determined and serious to judgemental. There's nothing wrong with a character being cold and confident, especially if they're supposed to be good guys, but by then she had started being just another love rival.

Why is this so important to me?

Well, leaving aside the importance of the romantic factor for a show based on the confusing love story of its two main characters, because I took Feri's words to heart. Kagami and Luka were supposed to be charming, well-rounded characters, not just love interests. And yet, I get to see that in Luka a lot more than I do in Kagami.

This meant a lot to me because every single love rival Marinette has had so far has been/is a jerk to her! How are we going to show young girls that love rivals aren't the same as sworn enemies if a show directed to them portrays just that!

And don't tell me that's just how girls act because if it's wrong to let boys insist on asking out a girl who is clearly not interested so is letting girls cat fight.

Back to the point.

While I myself prefer to see Kagami's interaction with Marinette as tough love/advice, both Thomas and Feri explained she basically told her to step up her game, or Adrien's hers. Which, yeah. Can be both advice AND a threat. This last statement comes from the fact that Kagami's last interaction with Adrien in Frozer turned out to be Kagami deeming Marinette as unworthy of Adrien's affections. Hence, the "When you see you're wrong [about your target], I'll be there" moment. She basically told Adrien Marinette was the wrong choice.

And then, there's Animaestro. Now, I do not condone Chloé and Marinette's actions at all. But Kagami was no saint either. While there's no denying Marinette and Chloé gave her the stink-eye first, she was just as jealous as them and fueled their insecurities when she took Adrien's arm, which is nothing bad itself, especially since it didn't make Adrien uncomfortable (take notes Chloé & Lila), but it looked as a "take that" move, y'know? And she also kept giving Marinette the stink-eye whenever she was around Adrien, to the point where she looked outraged by her mere presence. Things we've seen before in Backwarder, for example.

And... *sigh* how could we forget Oni-chan?

While her rage in this episode was righteous and it wasn't directed at Marinette, it portrayed Kagami in a light that didn't make her justice. It could be argued jumping to conclusions makes her more human, but don't say it's something we only saw in this episode because this whole post is about her making assumptions of Marinette. But I must admit this time took the whole cake! Her anger was terrifying. But I need to pretend the plot-convenient plot holes don't exist for a minute to talk about something: that reaction was way over the top.

It would, of course, be understandable if we were aware Kagami's met Lila before and she thinks of her the same as Marinette does. But that's not the case. Then why does she react like that?! You'd expect that after hearing Adrien practically gush about Marinette and finding her almost everywhere they go (sometimes even per Adrien's request), she'd be more sold on the idea of Mari being the one he loves. Yet, the only explanation I've found online is that she thought Lila was his girlfriend. Hello???? Wouldn't it be the normal thing to do to wonder just who the Hell is this girl you haven't even heard of and calling Adrien to find the answer? Well, apparently not.

And now that we know Kagami will be the Dragon miraculous holder I'm a bit disappointed. Don't worry. It has nothing to do with all this. It's because it's... predictable. Way too predictable.

On the one hand, it's true a friend of mine and I headcanoned she could get the horse miraculous, and I'm a bit bummed out about it. But for the most part it is because of how predictable it is.

Leaving aside their faces, which is where the heroes become more obvious to us, the viewers, if we take Marinette's Ladybug costume, there are still clear differences between her hero self and her civilian self. While still using polka dots, they are far less numerous or notorious than Ladybug's and, most importantly, her main colours are white and pink, as opposed to the superheroine's red and black.

Kagami, on the other hand, uses red and black as her primary colours in both outfits. And, on top of it, she's an Asian fencer, so the fact that she wields the Dragon (clearly Asian-based) miraculous which includes a sword is such a surprise...

But seriously! I don't hate her!

She clearly has some great moments such as when she helped Marinette up, or as I call it, the "move I'm gay move", or when she stood up against Chloé. It's just that her role in the Love Square doesn't look like it's balanced. Kagami can be hostile to Marinette and fuels her insecurities, as opposed to Luka and Adrien's chilled interactions and Luka's effect on gradually making Adrien see Marinette as more than just a friend.

Well, as always, I'll guess we just have to wait and see.

[seraphic-sapphic-safehaven]

Hi! I um... I need advice. I would like to think I'm bisexual. Maybe bi-curious even (i've only been with men but lately i've been longing/wondering how it would be with a woman), but like... i dunno. I'm attracted to women, Like i can see myself having a girlfriend setting down and all that good stuff (not marriage b/c i don't believe in marriage) but like.... i dunno. I've never had any romantic/sexual encounters with a woman because I am very introverted and I like... idk how to word this (c)

(c) idk how to explain my situation like i want to like... i dunno maybe like. I'm gonna try it put it into words because I'm really bad at stuff but like I want to meet a lesbian/bi girl as well y'know? I wanna tell them my situation about being bi (or bi curious) but I'm afraid that they will either take it the wrong way or maybe, worst case scenario, they actually catch feelings and I realize I'm not into girls or something and hurt them. Idk what to do and it's tearing me up. :/

Okay, first, you do not need to have been with someone of a certain gender to be a lesbian, bi, pan, etc.!! So even though you haven't been with a woman yet, you can still call yourself bi 💗💜💙

Now, as for the second part of your message, I get it. Your want to talk to a lesbian or bi woman is pretty normal and understandable; you want someone to relate to, someone who will hopefully get how you feel. I can't tell you how everyone will react to you, but I don't doubt that most lesbians and bi women would be understanding. Figuring out if you're attracted to girls when we live in such cisheteronormative societies is really hard, so most sapphics go through a questioning phase at least once. So I promise that there will be queer girls you meet with similar experiences and feelings who will understand where you're coming from. Now, I don't think just talking to people about your questioning experience will cause them to catch feelings, but if you're worried, just let them know ahead of time that you still aren't 100% sure if you like girls (though, based on what you've told me, I'm gonna say you do legitimately like girls). Let them know that you're sorry in advance if you end up not liking women and that you aren't intending to hurt their feelings whatsoever. And do the same if you both decide that you want to date each other. Just be open and honest; most people will be understanding, I promise 😊

Also, please don't hesitate to DM me if you wanna talk about any of this more. I may not be a lesbian or bi nor a woman, but I promise you I totally understand where you're coming from. I hope this was helpful! Good luck, bean 💞