#so he's a p heavy lizard boi

[3615rose]

Γαμώτο - Lu Four x Reader

Γαμώτο is pronounced gamoto, and means "oh sh*t" and i use french minish to sound more... mysterious

reader is afab, i'll write for y'all my amab friends, its in the boxes.

The day was eventless, Wild, Twilight and Wind went hunting as the local cook prefers fresh meat to the one that were sold in shops. You decided to continue shopping with your friend Four for cheap ores to make sword for Wild AGAIN.

Both of you didn't know how he was able to destroy swords after swords, and the new idea was to make cheap swords that he could keep and break all he wants. Or he should keep his bow. He was terrific with a bow.

"Let's go, only one shop and we'll be back at the camp in no time!"

Four seemed happy for one time. It was rare to see him genuinely smile, even more being excited for finishing shopping.

"Yeah... We should hurry, those clouds are up to no good."

You had training in weather reading with the clouds, and big mushroom grey cloud would mean two things : heavy rain and thunder. With metal and ores on you, you both would be rotisserie before going back to the camp.

You hoped that the boys already went back from hunting, Wild has a good weather nose. Or his sheika slate would have told him to flee any thunder appearing.

"Oh it will be okay, if a storm arrives, we'll take a place somewhere safe."

Why wasn't he thinking of "we should go quick back to the camp"? Maybe he had something else in mind. He was quick. Too quick sometimes to follow.

Like four tiny creatures running in every direction while you try to capture one.

~

"I told you so! There's more water pouring from the sky than in the entire ocean now!"

You were angry at him now. You were right, and the typical smell of thunder approached.

"Oh it's okay, I'm sure there's still place in the inn two houses away. We'll get there in no time if you run."

Running? And slipping? Was he crazy?

Well, he was already running. The sneaky little man. You followed, cursing with every word you knew in your vocabulary.

"Γαμώτο Four! Now I am soaking wet from head to toes! If i don't get sick from that it's a miracle!"

He laughed again, his hood up on his head dripping.

"But it was quick, wasn't it? Let's check in and get you dry before you kill me like one of those lizards."

In the inn itself, the hall was full of people seeking refuge from the raging rain outside, strangely no one at the desk of the inn keeper.

"Leave it to me little guy, I'll speak to him."

Four didn't like when you called him small, or little. He was even older than you, but the height wasn't a given.

"Hello there! Do you have any room left? Thank you good sir."

Boy does it annoys him when you do your honey like tone, being the cutie to anything to anyone. You reminded him of Time that usually do that to any female vendors.

"Uh... I only have only one room left, is it for you two? I can arrange to get some blankets to make a makeshift bed if you need to miss."

The charm trick worked. But only one room left no intimacy for any of you two. It was still better than running under the storm during the night.

"Well, I take it, thank you good sir! Don't worry about the blanket, we'll find out a solution. We will be leaving tomorrow morning."

You gave him the 40 rupees for the room and took the key.

"I hate when you do your little girl for having stuff you know that?"

You smiled, twirling the key in your hand.

"I know Smithy, but we need a place to rest before going back to the camp, and I wont take any risk to end up cooked by a lightning strike."

He went silent, you felt him boiling. That's a point for you.

You opened the wooden, it cracked a little, revealing a somewhat decent bed with a desk and a new candle to lit.

"There's plenty of room for us both, you see! I'm going to see how I can stop feeling like a wet sponge."

He removed his tunic, staying in his white shirt, and put it on the crochet, hoping it will be dry for tomorrow. Then he examined the room itself in more details. He didn't see how you would put him if it wasn't in the bed, or maybe you'll sleep on the desk, writing in your book like most of the time.

The closed door would go to the bathroom where you were hiding, trying to dry at least your hair and the bottom of the skirt. You removed your corset to let the shirt itself dry underneath. Then you glanced though the mirror, your shirt revealed a lot underneath while it was wet. And you doesn't have anything else to wear right now.

Well. You don't have a lot to loose, and in the worst of case, you'll teach him some curse words in greek, talking about other things and forget about this embarrassing moment.

"Are you okay in there? Do you need help to dry your hair?"

You ruffled your hair in the towel then opened the door.

"It'll have to do, sorry I took a little long."

He entered the room just to take the towel and ruffled his hair in it too.

"Well, it's not that problematic, it's only water. But as you said it would be stupid if any of us caught a cold because of that."

You put your bag next to the desk and looked through the window.

"Well, we have some time to kill before tomorrow, do you have any idea of what to do?"

Four searched in his bag, he didn't take much with him as it was only a two hours shopping spree.

"Yeah, what did you say when you arrived at the inn? I know it must be greek, but you have such a new language. Who knows, I can teach you some minish if you want."

You smiled, lying down on the bed.

"I said Gamoto, you can translate it quickly to 'oh sh*t' if you want."

He laughed hard, something so vulgar from his friend was surprising.

"Well, you can now say 'Gamoto, my shirt is see-through'"

Oh. He saw.

Sh*t.

But he learns quick.

"Okay, let's not talk about this, you told me you will teach me a word in minish. I want to know now."

"So... Since Gamoto would mean what you said, I would say that in minish it would be 'edrem ho' "

You laughed too. It was some interesting language, feeling almost magical next to your poor greek language.

"With this language you can make some magic like Hyrule! I love it though, it's musical."

With a yawn he laid back on the bed next to you, removing his green bandana.

"Yup, I like it too. It's more interesting than hylian, even if it's tricky to learn."

His yawn was contagious, you looked briefly at the window.

"Well. We can talk all night, but the sun is set, and sleeping is what awaits us."

You stretched your arms and grumbled a little.

"Hope you don't move too much, if I end up on the floor this night you'll regret it."

And with a laugh, you two ended up sleeping closer than expected, not to annoy both of you.

[dreadfulstar]

Tell me about your pets, seem like you have a few lol

A FEW?! A downside of working at PetSmart is the pet addiction that comes with it.

I am going to do this by species.

Cats:

So, firstly, I have my cat! His name is Ponyboy. He's my big baby boy and I love him. He's actually considered my ESA and was in college with me. He's the white one. When my fiance moved from Hawaii and moved in with me, we got a second cat. She is named Pidgin, which is a type of language my fiance also speaks. She's this splotchy tortie cat. Both cats cause issues but differently. Pidgin broke into Pasta's tank two and a half weeks ago (see Lizards section). Ponyboy over summer swallowed an embroidery needle and required emergency surgery because it was sideways into his jugular and esophagus and put me in heavy debt because I said Fuck No to euthanasia in the kitty cat ER. He's fine.

Lizards:

My oldest leopard gecko has been taken over by my mother. Her name is Patgeck Swayze. She was neglected and a rehabber rescued her. When I got her, she was still awfully small but now she is far from it. My mom spoils her!

Of the geckos I have with me, I have Papaya and Kapulei. Papaya is my gecko. He's about two now and is blind in one eye due to a bad shed. He's drained my wallet with vet trips and nothing we do can heal the scar on his eye. If it gets worse, he will need an eye amputation but right now the vet does not think it affects his quality of life. Kapulei (I did not name her) is the younger of the two geckos at around 6 months old. She is my fiance's gecko. She is also shedding in this picture.

We have one Cuban False Chameleon, also known as a Western bearded anole. We were at an exotic reptile show and we eyeing him. Turns out he was named Pancake! I was like... I HAVE TO. PANCAKE. See, the joke is I refuse to name with anything not "P" something. He's... expensive and a lot of upkeep. Worth it. He's got an interesting attitude and is really cool when he flares up.

I have had a corn snake for a while now. His name is Pasta. He got out for a while and made me so upset. We ended finding him yesterday, lil fucker. He's pretty docile. Now he's in a 40 gal tank in my office all decked out.

Hamster:

I have one hamster. She is a dwarf hamster named Pipsqueak. She feels like a tiny living cottonball. She came into the store much much too tiny, poor thing. We held off putting her on the floor because of it. I got attached and she got attached to me so I couldn't not get her. I like changing her tank up. I was extra and got her a 20 gal tank and not one of the crappy wire cages. Besides, Pidgin would terrorize her.

Otherwise?

Fish. I have a blue betta fish and then a large tank with guppies and such. Among them is a crawfish named Shrimpina. She kills and eats the guppies so it's moreso Shrimpina's tank and the guppies are pretty food.

Honorable mentions: Plymouth and Pistol the dogs. They both live with my mom back at home. Plymouth is having some health problems and I am pretty worried. Also at home my cat recently passed away. Her name was Precious. She died at 22 years old in her sleep.

[the-commonplace-book]

Danny. Short, stout, alien he/they lizard friend. Stretches into nifty longboi (still relatively short) human disguise. Fashion disaster.

[scalproie]

So that post game huh

[oonajaeadira]

🤡✍️❌

Hello, peachy friend. <3

🤡 What's a line, scene, or exchange you've written that made you laugh?

I will never not love the exchange between Din and LB when he first shows her the lightsaber and she teases him about being Mand'alor. I giggled when I wrote it and it just played a big role in easing their comfortability with each other.

I also love writing Dieter because he has so much potential for ding dong boy comedy. In INFILA, I loved writing him being a putz at driving and a mess with his vows at the wedding and eating pancakes while high and failing at skipping rocks by just lazily plonking stones into the sea. Although casually asking Cakes without agenda if she wanted to hang out and watch porn was the one that made me giggle the most.

✍ Do you have a beta reader?

Nah. I just enjoy getting stories out of my head and onto the page. I do revise quite a bit though. I'll write a first draft and then go over it again and fix up any pacing or plot things that don't feel right or need explaining. Then a third time to polish language. Then I'll usually read it out loud a fourth time to make sure I take note of every word and don't miss little things. Then I paste it into Tumblr and go through it one last time--something about the different screen makes other things pop and the revisions there can range from moving/removing/adding whole paragraphs to adding a word here or there or swapping things around. And I like to make sure I don't do all of that one one day. So while I don't have a beta, I take my time with looking it over several times before it gets in front of anyone.

❌ What's a trope you will never write?

Probably the same things I don't read: daddy kink/age gap and therefore no college AUs for me--I'm past college ages and I'm too old for P to be my daddy. Pregnancy/lactation stuff, although not to be confused with breeding kink--just because I don't want kids doesn't mean I don't love a good lizard brain urge, because breeding often plays upon the possession/claiming kink and I'm all about that. And I'm kind of addicted to writing happy endings, so I probably won't be heavy angsting or whumping it up any time soon.

But, if there's a trope you're interested in, I'm looking for them for an upcoming project I'm gearing up for soon. There really aren't too many I'd say no to, especially if I step back and examine how I might challenge myself to incorporate them or play with them in a soft way.....

.

Writer Emoji Asks

[wtf-amiru]

Arannis Ilnatar

General Information

Name: Arannis Ilnatar

Name Meaning: I believe I used a dnd character name generator for this one

Other Names: I don't think he really has a lot of nicknames, there's not really a nice way to shorten his name except for maybe calling him something that's too close to Aaron.

Gender: gentle himbo

Birth Name: same

Birth Date: 16th Sun of the 4th Umbral Moon

Birth Place: Thavnair

Dominant Hand: left

Astrological Sign:

Appearance

Height: 7'1

Weight: I'm not going to be able to do any of these because he's a giant lizard man

Ethnicity: Xaela Au Ra

Birthmarks:

Hair Color: Black

Hair Length: Fabio

Hair Type: oh it's so silky and shiny and smooth

Hair Style: again, ponytail for function

Eye Color: blue, his one limbal ring went from dark blue to white because of light poisoning during shb

Eyebrows: naturally on point

Teeth(Ex. Cavities/dentures):

Face Shape(ex. Round/flat/etc): oval

Complexion (Ex. Acne, blemishes.): clear

Shirt Size: idk medium in Au Ra sizes? Dude's tall but not super ripped, he got that twunk body type, just 7 feet tall.

Pants Size: he never wears pants, excuse you

Shoe Size: yeah, I've glammed away his shoes, I don't think he wears them unless he has to

Health and Image

Diet: This baby boy's all about eating healthy, he probably grew all the vegetables himself too

Exercise: he's not out there getting ripped, but he stays fit

Fitness: ^^

Posture (lazy/proper): proper unless he's out in the wilderness, then catch him hunched over a plant or something somewhere

Abnormalities: light poisoned limbal ring

Vulnerabilities: don't you touch his babies. (his babies are literally all of the scions, especially the twins), also any child ever, he loves kids.

Handicaps: full blown idiot, has never seen a brain cell in his life

Medications: he is the medication

Allergies:

Diseases: chronic brain rot

Illnesses:

Disorders:

Imperfections: I designed him to be a beautiful idiot, c'mon

Broken Bones: yeah he's probably broken a lot of bones himself, being a healer is handy for hiding your fuck ups

Reason for Health (ex. Cigarette smoking/accidents):

Wardrobe: this boy will not wear pants unless someone died and he's told he has to, avoids shirts if he can, ~*accessories *~, which i feel like is more of a "oo a pretty thing!" than anything that's ever given any planning at all

Accessories: all of them at once preferably

Equipment:

Musical Instruments: no, but I feel like he'd be one of those frustrating people who could pick up an instrument and be proficient in it in like an hour

Piercings: nose, wears a chain to his "ear" sometimes

Hygiene: squeaky clean boy

Makeup: chapstick, Au Ra males come with built in eyeliner

Perfume / Cologne: he's around plants and flowers a lot so the scent probably lingers honestly

Scent: ^^

Scars: just ones he's collected through msq, nothing large or noteable

Tattoos: no, his scales are so pretty

Voice

Accent / Dialect: mild Thavnairin accent

Voice: probably not as deep as you're imagining

Volume: average, not too loud, not too quiet

Laughter: p loud

Impediments:

Psychology

Vocabulary: I mean he knows words, sure. He dated Urianger for a while pre Stormblood so he understands words but he just talks like a regular idiot

Memory: not great honestly, because he can get kind of stressed out sometimes bc he worries his memory can get a little muddled

Temperament: he is pretty chill honestly, even when he's mad about something

Emotional Stability: he's so transparent he's the most emotionally stable oc I have bc he just doesn't think to hide anything ever, that's not how he was raised, his only issue is with worrying too much.

Mental Health: He's prone to worrying a little too much honestly, stresses himself out a lot

Instincts: in a city? terrible, in the middle of nowhere? amazing

Philosophy

Superstitions: heavy heavy believer in fate and destiny

Morality: the goodest of boys

Etiquette: polite idiot

Alignment: neutral good

Character

Priorities: just wants to keep you alive pls stay safe and healthy

Motivation: he literally left home to help people, he just wants to help

Self Confidence: he knows what he can and can't do, he's confident in his abilities

Self Control: uncontrollable idiocy but otherwise normal and controlled

Self Esteem: he's honestly pretty good

Quirks:

Hobbies: accidental gardening, he doesn't do it intentionally but oop, there's a plant getting drowned out by weeds better just quickly pull those while i'm here.

Closet Hobbies:

Guilty Pleasures:

Habits:

Desires:

Wishes:

Traumas:

Worries: pls do not get hurt, pls stay safe and alive and remember to drink water and take your meds pls

Nervous Tics(ex. Finger tapping, fidgeting): he may bounce a knee from time to time

Soft Spots: kids, his family and community back home,

Accomplishments:

Greatest Achievement:

Failures:

Biggest Failure:

Favorite Dream:

Worst Nightmare:

Earliest Memory:

Fondest Memory:

Worst Memory:

Funniest Moment:

Happiest Moment:

Saddest Moment:

Most Prized Possession:

Most Valuable Possession: what even is money in this game

Collections: are you kidding? this bitch is bringing home pretty rocks and drying plants all day every day

Embarrassments: he is unfortunately related to Magnai (Magnai bullied him a lot until the whole "little sun" debacle, now Arannis seizes every opportunity to embarrass him about it)

Mannerisms:

Humor:

Regrets: 

Secrets:

Darkest Secret:

Pet Peeves:

Phobias:

(1 lowest-10 highest)

Confidence: 8

Creativity: 9

Generosity: 12

Honesty: 10

Loyalty: 10

Insecurities: 6

Patience: 9

Predictability: 9

Reliability: 9

Respect: 9

Responsibility: 6

Trustworthiness: 10

Home, Work, and Education

House: 

Hometown:

Citizenship: Thavnairian

Culture: ^^

Traditions:

Sleep Patterns: heavy sleeper, natural cuddler

Eating Habits:  healthy boy

Pets: probably

Employer:

Job Title:

Social

Mother: yes

Father: yes

Guardians:

Siblings: yes, younger siblings

Children: no

Close Relatives: yes

Distant Relatives: Magnai and his family

Best Friend: G'raha, Alisaie

Close Friends: Urianger and Estinien

Confidantes: Y'shtola, Urianger, Alisaie

Friends: yes, they're all friends

Allies:

Acquaintances:

Followers:

Subordinates:

Rivals:

Enemies:

Inspirations: take your pick from any of the scions really

Role Models: I want to say probably his mom

Mentors: ^

Heroes:

Reputation:

Dominance: only when Y'shtola says he can

Sociability:

Isolation:

Romance

First Love: I don't even know, I feel like Arannis falls in love easily so it was probably early in life and someone back home

Love Interests: Y'shtola, Urianger

Marital Status: technically they're just dating

Orientation: this guy is the captain Jack Harkness of this game. Consenting and sentient adult? He's good to go, lmao.

Significant Other: Y'shtola

Love Style: he's an acts of service and quality time kinda guy, also occasionally gift giving

Flirtiness: this lovable idiot I swear

Turnons:

Turnoffs:

Fetishes:

Virginity: nah, he lost that a long time ago

[thirdhandidiot]

Yes I’m here to offer domestic dialucibarb. No I havnt gotten any further on the Young Dialuci au. What you gonna do?

This is just 1.9k of unapologetic soft idiots in love

•The three of them are like your typical old married couple, except with wings and horns and oh dear, they’re arguing over who has to get up to make more tea

•Barb and Lucifer lovingly bicker a LOT, much to Diavolo’s amusement. It will be over the most trivial things that neither of them really care about either, they just enjoy trying to one up eachother verbally. Lucifer once threatened to throw Barbatos out a window, absolutely not meaning it, but Barb taunted him, telling him he probably couldn’t even pick him up, he’s so skinny and all he ever does is paper work and there’s no way he’d ever hurt him, never mind have the physical strength required. Lucifer absolutely decides he’s going to take it personally and lunges, picking Barbatos clean off the floor, bridal style, triumphant smirk lighting up his face, only to immediately realise that Barb has wrapped his arms around his neck to make sure he doesn’t fall. They’re both immediately far too flustered to do anything after that, just staring at eachother in shock, remaining there for what feels like hours until Diavolo walks in and coos at them, taking hundreds of pictures whilst the pair get impossibly more red. The image ends up Diavolo’s Home Screen, and don’t be fooled, he treasures all images of his boyfriends, especially together, but this one, he thinks, will always be a favourite

•They’re all sappy in their own ways, but mostly Diavolo, he is shameless. He will talk about ‘his darling boyfriends’ at any given opportunity, and more. Whilst it’s rather sweet to see him so passionate and so happy in love, it gets rather inconvenient in meetings when everyone just wants to go home. The brothers are particularly upset by this as whilst the gossip about Lucifers love life was fun at first, they’re rather bored of hearing how cute Lucifer is he wakes up, and they’re still a little scared of what Barbatos might do if they end up hearing too much. And that’s not all, Dia loves tropey dates that he read about in books and imagined going on with the two of them before they got together, his favourite being picnics, which he adores. He and Barbatos will spend hours in the kitchen preparing a sweet lunch date for Lucifer (by which Barb does all the preparations and Diavolo provides ‘moral support’ in the form of kisses and trying to steal bits of food only to get caught everytime and punished with more kisses- needles to say this is not an effective punishment to persuade him to stop)

•Barbatos relaxes a lot more when he’s off the clock, even having gently bullied Diavolo into making HIM tea, even if it’s not as good, after all, he’s been working all day and he’s tired. When they first got together he always felt guilty asking anything of Diavolo, feeling that it was an imbalance to their dynamic, but he quickly comes to see that Diavolo loves the chance to try to do things for him, even if they aren’t nearly as efficient or well done. Diavolo just wants to look after his boys like they do him and this usually comes in the form of serving them cute biscuits he found and hid until that moment just to see them smile

•Lucifer gets stressed easily and puts up a near flawless front of professionalism and dedication to his work, however Barb has spent decades doing the same and is always the first to tell when Luci needs to take a break. Whilst Barb has strict ‘off the clock‘ hours, Lucifer has tried to bring paper work to bed multiple times, frustrating the other two to no end. Despite that, Lucifer has gotten a lot better at taking care of himself ever since he realised how happy it made his partners, and it’s not like he minds spending more time with them, infact subtly asking lucifer if he wants couch cuddles is the fastest way to get him to leave his work, the man is tired and desperately craves affection, not that he likes to admit it, but they all know

•Barbatos has a strange fondness for human conspiracy documentaries, and Diavolo is prone to believing an awful lot of them. Barb loves to tell Diavolo that they’re real, convincing him that ‘Yes all birds are spies darling, is that not common knowledge?‘ or ‘The human realm has underground lizard people, didn’t you know love? The do all of Earth’s admin work, someone has to‘ This leads to an awful lot of misunderstandings that usually Lucifer clears up. He pretends to be annoyed but when he walks into the front room to see his Barb lying on top of Diavolo, enthusiastically telling him that there’s aliens in Area 51 whilst Diavolo stares back, mouth open in shock, he doesn’t stop them, just presses a kiss to each of their foreheads and goes to make hot chocolates for everyone and brings blankets back with him, making a note of whatever it is that Dia is about to believe so that he can make sure that damage control can be done ahead of time. (He finds it cute when Diavolo tries to tell his brothers about it, Mammon falling hook line and sinker for each one. The others are more sceptical until Diavolo says that Barbatos told him, at which point they just end up confused, surely Barbatos wouldn’t lie to Lord Diavolo? (He would if it was funny))

•When Lucifer moved out, Levi sent him an old console under the guise that it was for Diavolo, who had expressed an interest in learning to play various games. Dia absolutely loves it, and lucifer really is very competitive.. the two of them can be found trying to distract the other whilst playing mariokart, resorting to pushing, biting and even a few instances of manifesting wings to try block the others view of the screen. As soon as one of them has as good as lost they’ll switch to just making the others game as hard as possible. There’s nothing raunchy about the wrestling match that breaks out as a result, Barb has decided it’s a good form of physical therapy for them both and just records them. He has a file of ‚blackmail‘ that they all know he will never use, it’s mostly just a folder of cute but embarrassing pictures and videos of Luci and Diavolo. (Diavolo has Barb send him everything, he loves to watch it back)

•None of them are particularly ‘flamboyant‘ although Diavolos love for human world festivals has landed them at various pride festivals before. Lucifer was mostly confused seeing as sexuality isn’t an issue in the Devildom, neither is ‘polyamory’, a concept he’d never spared much thought to. Diavolo is delighted to see Humans celebrating love and feeds off the positivity (he also gets hit on a lot, but after spending just ten seconds with him it’s obvious he’s already madly in love and that there’s no separating him from the slightly alarmed looking men loitering behind him that he proudly calls his boyfriends). Barbatos is constantly trying not to get lost, it’s busy and he ends up having to hold on to someone at all times. It’s not his fault, he can’t use magic here and there’s no other way to combat the crowds, Lucifer stop smirking he isn’t short it’s just that you’re both bloody giants, Lucifer you’re encouraging Diavolo, p l e a s e. Dia loves it though because it gives him an excuse to cling to his boyfriends all day and people will randomly tell him how lucky he is, he absolutely agrees

•Both Barbatos and Lucifer have threatened Diavolo with bodily harm at some point after they’ve been woken up by one of his stray limbs in the night. The two of them sleep quite comfortably next to eachother, occasionally with an arm or leg over the other, but no matter how Diavolo falls asleep he ends up in a dreadfully confusing position that no one really wants to question. Unfortunately he also tends to gravitate towards the heat of the others too, making them easy targets Diavolo’s heavy limbs. He’s always sure to apologise when he finds out in the morning, even if he finds their grumpy faces quite amusing. He won’t laugh out loud though because one time Barb was so disgruntled when he woke up that he bit the hand that was smothering his face and Diavolo ended up having to have his hand bandaged in the middle of the night. Needless to say that Lucifer was both confused and concerned when he woke up (and a little proud, he’s extra nice to Barbatos all day, who feels a little guilty about it, even if Diavolo was ok)

•Diavolo and Barb will wind lucifer up deliberately, and whilst he is entirely aware what’s happening, he indulges them. Diavolo will convince the brothers to try some kind of scheme that they wouldn’t be able to pull off without him, but makes sure it’s never taken too far, and Barbatos will egg Lucifer on as soon as he finds out about whatever minor inconvenience has befallen him. He won’t admit it, but it makes Lucifer incredibly happy to see his brothers take such a shine to his partners, and whilst he wishes they’d have a little more trust in Barbatos, Barb assures him that he isn’t upset and that it can be used to spook the brothers a little. There will be weekly ‚family meals‘ which always seem a great idea before hand, he somewhat misses living with his brothers after all, but always result in him going home with a headache. He’s grown used to the loving and (mostly) calm presence of his beloved, so seeing his brothers hurling both insults and occasionally food or assorted table wear at eachother, has a tendency to infuriate him. (He hasn’t realised that they act up more when he’s there)

•Dia Is obsessed with matching couples things and is constantly trying to find things for the three of them, but due to lower supply, they end up being so much tackier and non sensical. Barbatos genuinely despises them, but opts to say nothing because of how happy Diavolo is. Lucifer knows this and whilst he isn’t exactly a fan either, he indulges Dia just to tease Barb. (They do all have matching keychains tho, with different charms. Diavolos has a little teacup and a feather, Lucifers has a crown and a cake and Barbatos‘ has a pickle and a peacock. He was the one who got them to make up for all the hideous ideas Diavolo had, and delighted in seeing Diavolos pouty face when he realised what Barb had chosen. He did end up also adding a golden heart tho, somewhat pacifying Diavolo)

•Whilst it’s usually Diavolo who initiates longer cuddles, Barb likes to wrap his arms around his lovers from behind, pressing his forehead into their shoulder blades. He finds is comforting to be so close whilst allowing the other to continue with whatever they were doing before. Before leaving he will stretch to place a kiss on the back of their neck, a silent reminder of his love. Most of the time Barbatos is very quiet, opting to watch, and it’s only when he’s relaxed that he becomes chatty. Both Luci and Dia recognise this and can’t help but feel special whenever Barbatos is particularly talkative, and Barb is grateful that they don’t ask questions and love him for who he is

•Lucifer absolutely initiates the most ‚traditional‘ kisses, he’s proud of his partners and wants everyone to know that they’re his. He’s also a bit of a traditional romanticist when given the chance, leaving bouquets of various flowers, with the meanings for each attached on a handwritten card, a line of poetry and an elaborate signature. If he ever gets given flowers back he melts a little and keeps them on his desk as long as possible, before pressing the best looking ones. He has notebooks just filled with pressed flowers that he treasures. He doesn’t know that Diavolo and Barbatos both know about the notebooks and is convinced he’s slick

•Some nights the three of them will get drunk together and spend hours giggling and pressing kisses to eachothers faces and feeding them fancy chocolates. They half lay half sit on a slightly too small couch that they never replace for a more suitably sized one. Diavolo will slowly reach across to brush Lucifers fringe out of his eyes before gently caressing his face and pulling him in for a long slow kiss that tastes of expensive demonus and the orange sweets that Diavolo keeps on his desk. Barbatos is more than content to sit and watch his two gorgeous boyfriends kiss for a few minutes before they both turn their attention to him and decorate his face with kisses, across his cheeks and forehead, straying down to his chin and up to his eyelids, trying to convey all their love for eachother in adoring looks and heads pressed into necks

@softrealism Thankyou for inspiring me to post xx

[mangofetts]

paz vizsla; nsfw alphabet

NSFW UNDER THE CUT

paz vizsla x reader

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

paz is very caring, especially after he’s been rough with you. aftercare will usually consist of cleaning you up, eating/drinking, and back rubs/shoulder rubs

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

he loves his partner’s thighs and neck. he likes to hold your thighs and eat you out and loves marking you up on your thighs and neck. he likes your neck because when you show it to him it makes him think you trust being vulnerable around him.

his favorite body part on himself would be his arms and hands. he likes his hands because they absolutely dwarf yours and he likes seeing his hands on you. he likes his arms because they’re so capable and he’s able to hold you down and make you take it.

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

this man LOVES to paint your insides white. if he’s in you without a condom?? absolutely goes fucking crazy. it makes him stupid when you let him cum inside of you. this comes from his desire to have kids.

if you don’t let him cum in you, that’s alright! his second favorite is marking you up on your thighs or chest. you cleaning yourself up and eating his cum makes him go stupid too!!

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

when he cums in you, he wants to keep his cock in you so his seed doesn’t leak out. he actually has a plug that he never used on you because he’s too shy to bring it up.

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

some experience! when he was younger he used to fool around and he never got any complaints about his performance. if he does come across something he doesn’t know, he knows to ask you about it. he does learn and adapt fast too, so even if it’s a new thing, he gets the hang of it pretty quickly.

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

he loves doggystyle, but he has to try extra hard not to blow his load immediately after you get on your hands and knees. something about you in that position makes his lizard brain go ‘breedbreedbreed’ and he has to hold himself back before he breaks you. other than that, he likes to lay you both down on your sides (him as big spoon of course) and he enters you from behind. easy access to your chest, neck, and thighs.

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

aside from teasing you, he takes your pleasure pretty seriously. he makes jokes, but it’s the humiliation part of it that makes him say it. stuff like, “you get a cock in you and you forget how to speak? huh?” and “so cock drunk you can’t even think.” your reactions let him know that he’s doing a good thing for you.

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

he has a trail but tends to trim and shave because it’s more comfortable for him. he doesn’t like the chafing down there and no one wants to get their pubes stuck in their fly.

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

VERY VERY INTIMATE. he wants you to remember each and every time he’s taken you. if it’s one of your birthdays or your anniversary, he will go all out with candles and rose petals and shit. all that romantic stuff. he lives for it.

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

hoo boy. this man jacks off so much you’d think he has an addiction. if he’s gone, he’ll squeeze one out after a hunt because he gets horny chasing after people because it reminds him of when you run from him. if you are there, he’ll jack off in secret. there’s something dirty about him jacking off and trying not to get caught by you. he will admit that he’s bad at hiding it because he’s too loud.

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

OH BOY. daddy kink, predator/prey, authority kink, breeding kink, weapon kink, bondage, LIGHT bdsm, dom/sub. sometimes he’s in the mood for kitten play so you guys keep cat ears in the drawer. his daddy kink comes from him wanting to be a dad, breeding kink for the same reason. he also likes giving orders and you calling him sir. he likes threatening you with weapons (knives, guns, etc.) BUT ONLY IF YOU’RE UP FOR IT. tying you up is a yes. something about seeing you vulnerable and unable to move is really hot to him. some bdsm elements and dom/sub elements.

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

alleyways, bathrooms, the bedroom. whenever y’all get horny, y’all can basically do it anywhere. leave it to paz to get you in the weirdest places.

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

your moans and pleas for more keeps him going. other than that, when you touch him, it makes him want to return the favor so he’ll want to touch you even more. when you’re desperate and when you beg him to take you by touching him all over and trying to jack him off? that’s what motivates him the most.

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

hurting you in any way. if you asked for it, he would probably try it with you, but without your explicit consent, he wouldn’t do anything. that includes cutting you with a knife, shooting you, anything that involves blood. now, he will choke you, but he knows your limits. safe words are implemented and if you can’t speak you guys have a visual cue. you are in safe hands with paz.

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

paz prefers giving but isn’t opposed to receiving. this man has a sharp tongue, and he sure does know how to use it when you’re eating you out. he likes to circle your most sensitive parts and when you get close and gush with cum? he slurps that up like a starved man. he also likes holding your thighs up and back so you don’t accidentally squeeze them shut.

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

both!! depends on the night you two are going for. he’ll be fast and rough when you two need it, usually this is after he’s done with a hunt or when he just needs you so bad he can’t control himself. on more romantic nights, he’ll go slow and sensual, hitting all those spots inside you and making you see stars.

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

paz doesn’t generally like quickies because he wants to prolong your pleasure and make you feel good for a long time before you guys are finished. he’s more of a marathon fucker. regardless, you two will have quickies when you need them. like when he’s on business but wound up tight so he takes you into the alleyway for a quick fuck.

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

he will experiment with you!! consent is the key to him so if there’s consent from both parties, he’s down for basically anything. risky things like guns and knives aren’t usually his thing, but if you like them, he’s down to try them out with you. not generally a risky person, he likes to play it safe. you know to go to him and talk about it if you need something more to keep you going.

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

like i said earlier, this man is a marathon fucker. get him in bed and prepare not to leave that room for hours. his heavy armor has conditioned him so he can go for rounds at a time. being a bounty hunter is also a strenuous job, so all of that combined has really conditioned him to have good stamina.

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

has one (1) fleshlight that he uses sometimes, but he likes to use his hands because his callouses feel good. other than that, he generally has no use for other sex toys. he is totally down to experiment with some!

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

he knows what you want, and he knows what he wants. it’s how patient he’s feeling that day that causes him to tease or not. if it’s a rough and fast day, he’ll prep you but there’s no other foreplay aside from biting. if it’s a slow and sensual day, he’ll prep you, eat you out, tease your nipples, kiss you until you whine. it’s a feely thing for him.

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

he’s very vocal. his grunts and groans are loud and heard throughout the room. it’s usually groans, but sometimes you’ll hear a growl if he’s particularly wound up. aside from noises, he talks dirty in your ear when he fucks you. things like, “you take my cock so well, pretty thing.” and “aren’t you just so needy?” teasing is huge.

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

one thing that turns him on is when you pretend to struggle to take him. small things like clenching your eyes shut, whimpering, and grabbing at him. when you say things like, “you’re too big for me!” and “please! give me a break!” it makes him want to drill into your until you’re limp and boneless. it also makes him almost nut so use this tactic sparingly (or not ;))

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

tiddies. can i say that? his chest is huge, as is the rest of him.

anyways, he’s 8 1/2 inches long with a 4 1/2 inch girth. he’s very big 😌.

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

since he masturbates so much, he definitely does yearn for you a lot. people think he’s addicted to you lmfao. you guys probably have sex once or twice every three days with him masturbating in between. it gets really bad when he’s away for more than a day.

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

he doesn’t fall asleep until you do. he wants to make sure that you’re okay before he lets himself sleep. it’s endearing, really. if it’s a marathon fuck, he’ll pass out after aftercare.

I REALLY ENJOYED DOING THIS LMK IF U LIKED IT OR NOT. dm me if you want to be in my taglist!! <3

@maybege​

[banalbones]

The Petite Prince: Chapter 5

Chapter 1, 2, 3, 4, 6, 7, 8

Chapter 5: The Treasure Hunt, Part 2

Summary: Roman is a child. Virgil and Logan lost him, and have been questing to find him for way too long. Remus loves his bro, but is feeling a bit more chaotic.

Words: 2485

Ships: Familial prinxiety, logince and Creativitwins. Eventual familial royality, roceit and DRLAMP  

Genre: Fluff with a side dose of angst

Warnings: A few swears, tiny blood mention, arguing, a mention of being unconscious, a dragon, falling, tell me if there’s any more!

Taglist: @pricklyfish777 @sunflowerblondeuwu  @itriedandimtired @draw-your-perfect-world @cemmy @battlebunnyteardropsinthesun @nonbinary-lizard-2

_________________________

The ‘twins’ were doing karaoke with the birds.

“Love is an open doo-oo-oor!”

The song was perfect for the pair, an adorable ‘love’ song for Roman, and a Disney villain tune for Remus.

Roman was grinning madly, his gap tooth showing, as his sweet little child voice perfectly nailed all of the notes.

“You’re really good at this,” Remus commented, taking a break from the song. “But Elphaba’s better.”

Cue the *o f f e n d e d p r i n c e y n o i s e s*.

“She’s a bi- she’s a bird! How can she be b- be better?”

Remus cackled. Annoying his brother was fun, even when he was a child.

He probably shouldn’t be thinking that, but still.

Quoting Virgil, sometimes I just gotta be me-an.

The smol one wacked his leg with the stick.

(Remus truly didn’t know how he kept getting it.)

“You know,” he said, “We could decorate the stick.”

That was a thing kids did right? Decorating sticks? 

Apparently it was, as Roman squealed in delight and jumped around, whilst simultaneously summoning paint and glitter and smaller sticks and a whole lot of other stuff Remus didn’t bother to acknowledge.

I would have just gotten blood.

_________________________

“Are we supposed to climb this thing?” Virgil asked incredulously.

Logan wasn’t looking at the tower, so much as the dragon. It had shimmering scales, the color of the sea, covering the entirety of its lithe body, with accents of a bright gold littered throughout. The sunset colored wings however, were the things that stuck out most.

The dragon was quite beautiful and had cool wings, in an abbreviated sentence.

It also appeared to be asleep, which was definitely a pro in this situation of cons.

“If we wish to retrieve Roman, I believe so.”

“Well, fuck.”

_________________________

Virgil for all his faults, was loyal. Or so he told himself. Janus (?!?!), when the emo was still a part of the Others, had told him that dark sides were extremely protective of what they deem to be theirs.

So he supposed it made sense that he, the literal embodiment of anxiety, was about to climb a fifty foot tower with no safety precautions, just to save the little prince.

He turned to Logan and grinned sheepishly.

“So, uh, do you want to start?”

Just because Virgil was going to do it, didn’t mean he had to go first.

_________________________

The Dragon Witch smirked slightly as she rested her scaled head atop the tower’s black roof, gazing down at the two sides.

Looked like it was time to drop the ladder.

_________________________

Logan rolled his eyes at Virgil and began to reach for the tower, not sure what he was actually going to do when he touched it, when suddenly a pile of pili fell on his head.

“What the heck?”

The sub-astute teacher looked up to see… a rope of hair?

What?

“It’s like in Tangled!” Virgil said, somewhat excitedly.

“The Disney movie?”

“The Disney movie.” Virgil nodded.

“So what do we do, climb it?”

“I mean I guess,” The Supreme Dark Overlord of Negative Commerce (That’s a throwback) paused, “Because I don’t see any stairs.”

Logan, once again, rolled his eyes.

Might as well start climbing.

And so he did.

_________________________

Roman watched LoLo begin to climb through the fly-eyes. It seemed so fun!

Maybe he could do that one day…

If Remus would let him.

Roman giggled.

He probably would.

_________________________

Remus had wanted to add a thorn bush at the bottom of the tower, to be true to the original, ya know? But the smol one hadn’t wanted them to get hurt.

Again.

So instead, he had come up with an ingenious compromise that Logan would have been proud of.

Put vines at the bottom, but make them look like thorns!

It would be so funny to see Virgil panic and try even harder not to fall, especially with the armor-

Oh yeah!

“RoRo, do you want to give them the armor now?”

The little prince nodded enthusiastically, his face scrunching up in concentration.

And then…

“I did it!”

Little did the prince know that Remus had done a slight flick of the wrist, ensuring that the metal protection would… weigh them down.

He may be my brother, and I still love and will protect him at all costs, but I am always a chaotic rat man.

_________________________

I can’t believe you acknowledged that you were a chaotic rat man.

I can.

_________________________

Patton hummed softly, twirling around as he made the brownies.

He had tried checking on Roman in his room, but the princely side hadn’t answered.

So, he decided to make brownies to give to Roman when he felt like he could talk to him again!

If he ever felt like he could…

Patton shook his head quickly, dismissing the thought.

He would! It was Roman, after all!

Patton swallowed.

It was Roman, after all…

_________________________

Logan was halfway up the tower (and the hair) when he felt a weight be placed on his body. A very heavy weight.

The logical side was now extremely glad he had made Virgil stay on the ground.

Gravity tugged a little too hard on Logan for his own liking, and then he was falling.

And falling.

And f

           a

                 l

                      l

                           i

                               n

                                       g

                                            .

Into a pile of thornbushes?

Logan inwardly groaned. It was like in the Grimm Brother’s version of the fairytale.

The prince fell into a bunch of thorns and got blinded.

I’m already blind enough, come on!

He barely registered Virgil screaming out his name through the rush of air and thoughts.

And then he landed.

________________________

Virgil screamed as Logan fell.

He was gonna die!

Could sides even die?

He didn’t think so, but what if they could?

The emo’s mind was so filled with what ifs, that he barely registered the dumping of heavy metal on his shoulders.

It was like a weighted blanket but five times heavier.

“Oof.” He was pulled to the floor, just as Logan landed… in a pile of thorns?!

How had he not noticed that?

“Holy shit! Logan!”

He heard a groan.

“Ow.”

Virgil breathed a sigh of relief.

At least he was alive.

_________________________

You fell off a tower?!

Yes. I just said that.

How did you survive?

We’re getting to that.

_________________________

The teacher figure groaned as he opened his eyes. He wasn’t blind, and he wasn’t bleeding.

That was a good sign.

It seems I have not, in fact landed in a pile of thorns.

“Holy shit! Logan!”

Logan attempted to move his head. A fall like that could not be good for his neck.

He managed it, if only slightly, to see a raccoon-like side running, well trying to run, towards him.

“Hello, Virgil. Before you ask, no, I do not know how I am alive.”

“Are you-”

“Yes, I am indeed hurt,” Logan interrupted, “I fell twenty five feet, what did you expect?”

“I don’t… whatever. How come you’re wearing armor?”

Logan responded with a dry “You are too,” before craning his neck (ow) to see that he was, in fact, wearing a bunch of bulky metal.

It was very blue. Or indigo, depending on how specific you wanted to be.

“Why is it so heavy?”

“That’s because of Remus,” a very familiar, lilting voice answered, as weapons materialized in the boys hands.

“Oh shit,” he heard Virgil mutter.

Logan looked up (once again, ow) to see the dragon that had been sitting atop the tower flying towards them.

It let out a roar.

To mirror Virgil’s earlier words, oh shit.

_________________________

Roman stood proudly, brandishing his stick for all to see.

By all, he meant Remus and the birds, as they were the only ones left to see it.

(The other forest creatures had to go, they had told Roman, it was almost dinner time for them.)

Apparently, birds had really weird eating schedules.

Big me had a really weird eating schedule too. He only ate during the night.

That, along with the fact big him never slept at night either led to the little prince forming a rather intelligent conclusion.

Big him was nocturnal!

Like an owl!

Wait…

If Big him was nocturnal (or an owl)…

Did that mean ReeRee was too?

…

“ReeRee… are you a- you an owl? Or noc- or noc-tur-nal?”

The Duke turned.

“Also, do yo- do you li-li-li’ my stick? Its glitty-ery!”

The tiny royal’s big brother looked confused.

“No? Why? Your stick is splendiferous, by the way.”

Now it was Roman’s turn to be confused.

(He was happy with the reaction to the stick.)

“Big me is. How co-how come you aren’t?”

Maybe the lack of sleep at night isn’t something that owl’s do.

Oh! Elphaba’s leaving! Byeee!

The petite prince was so caught up in his train of thought that he didn’t see Remus’s concerned gaze.

Bye bye birdies!

_________________________

Virgil stared at the bedazzled dirk in his hand, the onyx gems glinting in the light of the fire.

Wait, fire?

The emo turned to see a large green dragon (?!?!) diving towards him, flames spewing out of its mouth.

A dragon?

Shitshitshitshitshitshitshitshitshitshitshitshitshitshitshit

“Virgil! Move!” he heard a voice shouting.

But for a moment he was paralyzed.

Then, in a way that was opposite his regular behavior, he let out a battle cry and leapt towards the reptilian rapscallion (Roman would be proud), brandishing his weapon.

The dragon roared as Virgil threw one of his dirks, the sharp metal burying itself in a shimmering teal scale.

No blood emerged.

One weapon wasted.

“What the fuck are you doing, you inbecile? Run!”

For some reason, Virgil decided to ignore the admittedly good advice.

The dragon swiped at the anxious side, knocking him into the hard brick of the tower.

The scaled beast crept forward.

It poked Virgil’s head, slamming it back into the stone.

And then the world was fading to black.

Well, he knew that wasn’t good.

_________________________

Logan shut his eyes, restraining a groan of frustration.

WHY did people (metaphysical people) never listen to him?

Virgil was the smallest of the sides (apart from Roman, at the moment) and though he was fight or flight, the anxious side really didn’t know how to defend himself, especially against dragons. It also didn’t help that he only had a tiny daggers and a leaden suit of armor to protect himself.

Logan took a deep breath.

…

When the logical side’s eyes reopened, he was subjected to the view of Virgil being yeeted (slang words) into the tower.

Virgil was quickly climbing up the idiot list.

Very quickly indeed.

_________________________

Where am I on the list right now?

The same place as you were when this happened.

Where was I?

That is not important.

What? Yes it i-

_________________________

Remus was concerned. Which was weird for him.

What did the smol one mean?

An owl?

Nocturnal?

Was Roman secretly an owl? Or did his twin have a really unhealthy sleep schedule that led to negatively affecting his mood, energy levels and attention span, making him lash out in even the slightest of stressful situations whilst simultaneously causing his metaphysical human being-like health and mental health to deteriorate?

Nah, he was probably an owl.

And with that (most of) Remus’s concern washed away.

His brother was an owl.

_________________________

Roman was watching the battle through the fly-eyes. Well, battle was an over exaggeration. It was really just VeeVee getting smacked into a wall by a dragon (who looked suspiciously like the Dragon Witch Big him had killed a while ago).

The prince looked to where Logan was.

The nerd looked reeeeeally annoyed.

Probably because now he had to defeat the dragon all by himself.

What’s he gonna do?

Roman watched as the logical side got up, a broadsword appearing in his grasp.

The prince summoned a bowl of popcorn.

He should throw it. Mama should definitely throw it.

Logan threw it.

And missed.

The sword didn’t even get near it!

Come ooooon, Mama.

The dragon roared and pounced on Logan, baring its teeth.

Roman leaned forward, a handful of popcorn nearing his mouth.

This was getting good.

A drop of saliva dripped onto Logan’s face…

Aaaaaannd…

He was whisked away from the fly-eyes view by a pair of grimy hands.

“ReeRee! No fair!”

“Sorry RoRo.”

The little prince pouted, and Remus held something out to hi.

“Look I made a stick!”

_________________________

Did it work?

Did what work?

The stick. As a distraction.

It wasn’t a distraction, I just really wanted to show him my stick!

Liesssss.

It was also a distraction.

_________________________

Patton was becoming concerned.

Roman usually would have come out by now.

Maybe he decided to talk to someone else.

But who?

Definitely not Janus, for obvious reasons. Maybe Virgil?

I should check. Just to see if he’s okay.

I’ll bring the brownies.

Just in case…

And so the walk to Virgil’s room began.

_________________________

Do it for the child.

That was the mantra that Logan was repeating in his head.

He truly did not appreciate being carried through the sky in a dragon’s claws, especially since it had caused his glasses to fall off of his face.

For the last time, I’m already blind! Why is it always me?

It also didn’t help that every single part of his body was aching.

_________________________

Do it for the bean.

That was the mantra that would probably have been repeated in Virgil’s head at this moment, if he wasn’t unconscious.  

_________________________

Patton frowned.

Virgil wasn’t there.

Maybe Roman and his dark strange son were with Logan!

And so the walk to Logan’s room began.

_________________________

Remus giggled.

RoRo had forgotten about the fly-eyes almost immediately, being too distracted by the glowing stick.

He waved his hand.

A visitor (or two) was about to drop in.

_________________________

Patton furrowed his brows.

Logan wasn’t in his room either.

Were they all together?

Who else could they be with?

Remus?

It was worth a shot.

And so the walk to Remus’s room began.

_________________________

Back in the dragon witch’s claws, a fully healed, very confused Virgil awoke, and Logan felt all of his physical pain disappear, along with the stupid heavy armor.

And then they were thrown through the window of the brick monstrosity,

----------------

As Patton twisted the door handle,

-----------------

As Virgil and Logan crashed through the floor of the tower,

-----------------

As Remus looked up to see the ceiling falling in,

-----------------

As Patton pushed open the door,

-----------------

As the left brain boys fell into the Duke’s room.

Oh boy.

_________________________

Roman looked up from the stick to see ReeRee grinning like a madman (That’s pretty normal), VeeVee and Mama sprawled on the floor (Yay! Why’s the ceiling broken?), and Da- Patton glancing around the room with a plate of brownies in his hands (ohnohonohonohonohonoh).

The petite prince was feeling slightly overwhelmed.

“Wha?”

_________________________

Thanks for reading this chapter of the Petite Prince!

(And by the way, at the time of the stick distraction, Roman is around five. If you’re confused, don’t be scared to ask.)

Any and all feedback is appreciated!

[ashintheairlikesnow]

i never saw the prompt but if it was hallucinogen/fear drug then i'd say stick to that but it's up to you i'll enjoy it either way :>

CW: Forced drugging, recorded torture, briefly referenced potential noncon

She’s got the flash turned on, and each spark of light is a burst of something trying to get close enough to eat him. Dex flinches from the light, curving his arms up over his head even as they ache from his earlier discipline. 

The guests have mostly gone, and by now it’s just Madam and three other people - two men and a woman. Their faces bleed and run like candles, wax that drip-drip-drops to the ground and pools there in puddles of skin that Dex knows will expand like water pouring from a crack in the dam.

Another burst of light, and he whimpers. The light is worse than the shadows, but all of it is monsters.

“Madam, if we could take him back to his room-” Peter starts, and Karen hushes him, a harsh snapped shut up that had Peter’s mouth closing quickly. Dex can’t look at him either, not directly. From the side Peter is okay, but head-on he starts to run, too, and Dex curls up where he sits on the coffee table, pleading in his mind to be saved.

The hair left, and the eyes, and the hands that should love him. Or they weren’t here. He can’t remember, he doesn’t know how old he is, what year it is. It’s all fear, it’s a drumbeat, it’s his heartbeat, a thrumming hummingbird of panic with wings that try to bash their way out from his breastbone and break there and crumble and and and-

what if he’s only twenty-three again? What if he doesn’t know there is an end at all? What if there isn’t one?

“How do you feel, darling?” Karen asks, and her voice is low and soft. 

He shudders and curls up tighter, tears leaking out from the corners of his eyes. His veins hurt, they itch and burn and hurt, and he’s got too much in his system, he can’t take this. He wants her to hug him, he wants to be held, he wants someone to touch him but if they touch him he’ll be eaten by shadows and light and die again.

He dies so many times, here, again and again, for her. But he is not yet dead enough to make her happy.

“This is cruel, Karen,” One of the men says, and his voice twists and writhes like snakes. Then he laughs, and reaches out faster than Dex can react, ruffling his hair with a heavy monster’s hand. Dex flinches back, but the touch feels so good, too. It feels good to be eaten by monsters.

“Is he on the menu for tonight, too?” The man asks, with a different tone to his voice.

Not yours, Dex thinks, but he can’t make his hands move to sign the words. Not yours not yours not yours, not yours to take, no no no

“Unfortunately, Chad, he’s not.” Karen shrugs, smiling thinly. “He’s not on the menu for anyone right now. He used to be a bit of fun for a friend of mine, but… someone got too attached.”

“The pet, or your friend?”

“Oh, Dex. My friend wouldn’t sully himself that way.”

The man touches him again, at the back of his neck over the green leather collar with his name stamped in gold on the front, and Dex shivers. He wants to be touched more, he wants it, he swoons under the attention but it is attention given by a man whose fingers are claws reaching out to grasp him and pull him into the darkness-

“Chad, lean in. Let’s get a photo of this. Dex, eyes up, darling.”

He opens his eyes slowly, barely conscious, hardly aware of his mindless obedience. She takes a photo and there’s no flash this time, only his misery in perfect detail, lit by the lamplight in the overwarm room. 

“Why do you take so many pictures?” The remaining female guest asks. She’s drunk and Dex is scared of her more than anyone else.

“Hm? Oh, to send to a friend of mine.” Karen’s expression goes blank for a moment, cold. Dex looks at her and sees a woman carved from glacial hatred. She hates him so much, most of all, because he failed her.

He wasn’t what he was supposed to be.

He wasn’t perfect.

He isn’t broken enough, but when he looks down, his hands are made of shattered glass with bits that shake off onto the floor, parts of him he’ll never get back. One of the shards of glass whispers, if you don’t get help, Isaac, we can’t stay together any longer.

Dex’s head slowly tilts, staring at the glass. What? He mouths.

You’ll be late again, Isaac, a different piece of him says, and the glint of the crystalline memories on the ground is beautiful, but he can’t get down from the coffee table to chase them. If he does, he’ll drown in the darkness, it will pull him under. 

Late for what? Who’s Isaac?

Darling, a familiar voice says, and Dex’s mouth opens to answer before he remembers the voice isn’t real.

A shard of glass beckons two fingers in his direction, calling him. Come here. You’re doing fine.

“Madam-” Sebastian this time, his voice is quieter but more insistent than Peter’s had been. “Madam, please let us take him upstairs, please-”

“Not yet, Sebastian. Refresh the guests’ drinks.” Karen takes more photos, of Dex staring down at the carpet, his eyes wide and wild, whites showing all around them, pupils so dilated there is almost none of the natural light brown left. “What are you thinking, Dex?”

Dex looks up at her. The ice woman, goddess, devil who rules his life, who will kill him the next time he is asked for.

Help me, he signs. 

She laughs and takes another picture, of him mid-sign. “That’s perfect, darling.”

Darling, the shards of glass on the floor echo, softer, gentler. Loving, and whispering, and the shadows are made of love, aren’t they? Maybe he misjudged. Maybe they won’t eat him at all.

You’re doing fine, Dex. 

He leans over, trying to get a better look at the beckoning glass, and loses his balance. He falls gracelessly off the coffee table, landing with a thump on a hardwood floor where there isn’t any glass at all. 

They laugh at him. They laugh and it bounces around him, breaks apart his fragile skin, sinks into his bones. They laugh and laugh and he just wants to take a deep breath, but he can’t, because the shadows are down his throat and in his lungs, now.

He starts to gasp, fighting the shadows, trying to force air in and out of his lungs.

Just stop, the shadows whisper. Just stop fighting. There is no gold in your cracks. You’re broken and no one will put you together, now. 

He closes his eyes, forcing a deep breath in, pushing past everything inside of him, all the whispered words and the insistence that he should stop trying to hold onto what is left, and he thinks, you’re lying to me.

Peter and Sebastian, standing in the doorway together, stare in horror. Henry has already escaped back up to his room, to hide from seeing Dex like this. Peter and Sebastian, though, stay.

When they are done laughing, they move on to other things, and Dex pushes himself slowly up onto his hands and knees. Everything hurts, from the way he lives now, and he ignores that pain to force the shadows out of his lungs in an exhale that feels like it goes on forever. He is dizzy by the time he stops breathing out, but the lying shadows are gone.

Dex pushes himself up, using the coffee table to get up onto his knees. His feet are harder to maneuver, but finally - finally - he stands.

Karen, showing a painting on her wall off to her guests, turns to look at him with surprise. “Dex?”

I go sleep now, Dex signs to her, the signs falling apart in shaking hands. He doesn’t have fingers, does he? No, he does. Black glass. Obsidian hands. Shatter-shock. Dex giggles, suddenly, a burst of hysterical laughter that bubbles up and overflows. 

“I’ve never seen you stand back up before,” Karen says, softly. Her eyes narrow, and she is a lizard, and he imagines her forked tongue slithering out, hiss-hiss, and giggles again. He falls, but Peter is somehow there to grab him.

The shadows recede, they fade, because they tell lies he doesn’t have to believe. They aren’t in his lungs, or they are but he’s a shadow, too, and shadows cannot eat each other.

I am shadow, Dex signs to Peter. I am made shadow. Shadow me, D-E-X, Ten is shadow there is man I-S-A-A-C is late for shadow time shadows learn I go sleep now hell burns but I freeze

“Jesus,” Peter whispers staring at his hands as they move. “M-Madam, please-”

“Go ahead,” Karen says dismissively, waving one hand and turning back to her guests, Dex forgotten now that the pictures are taken and sent, that the right people have seen him laid low enough to please her.

“Come on, Dex, time for bed,” Peter says uneasily. 

I go sleep but alone, Dex signs mournfully. P-E-T-E-R, no shadows in my air now. Shadows lie. Listen listen yes good. All at once, his hands don’t pause between the signs, they shift like fluid, like liquid made of fingers. Tell me who I am. Doing fine D-E-X.

“You’re Dex,” Peter answers, and he meet Sebastian’s eyes. The other Boy moves to his side as well, and together they half-help, half-carry Dex across the room. “You’re Dex. We’re going to lay you down, okay?” 

He trips on the first step and falls hard, slamming onto his knees. No, he signs, staring up at the stairwell and seeing somewhere else entirely, somewhen else. Other times and places, a river of experience that rushes towards him. I said no.

“You need to sleep this off, Dex.”

“She gave him too much,” Sebastian murmurs. “He’s going to be fucked up all night. I’ll stay with him to be sure, if you’ll make me some coffee. I’m… I’ve got a long night.”

“Yeah, okay. I’ll tell Henry to go to sleep and get up at 5 to take over?”

“Yeah… yeah, that’d be great. Then if you take back over at noon, we can just… trade off. He’ll be fine by tomorrow night.”

“I hope so. Okay, back up, Dex, come on…” They hoist him, gently, and he moves up the stairs, his eyes half-closed, drifting in his mind. 

Please, he signs. Please, please, please.

He doesn’t know what he’s asking for, any longer.

He can’t stop asking, anyway.

[robin-the-enby]

Treasure of all War boys p.1

Pairing: Nux x OC

Summary: A girl is allowed to join the war boys after catching Immortan Joe's attention. After taking the time to get to know who they really are, she makes it her goal to make their lives at least a bit better.

Warnings: injury description, suicidal intentions

A/N: I'm just wondering why haven't I watched it sooner, I'm probably the only person active in this dead fandom (please guys out there, I need to know I'm not alone) So, this is basically just a backstory for my OC and her relationship with Nux. He deserved better, let's face it.

Gifs found on Google

* * * * *

She didn't know her name, where she was, how long she had been here. She didn't remember her parents, who they were, what they looked like or their names. It was all useless information, because they weren't here now and so they couldn't help her with her only goal. Survival.

Making a life for oneself in the desert was not at all easy. But luck was on her side it seemed.

After wandering mindlessly through the desert for many nights, she found a wreck, of what, she didn't know. It wasn't a big wreck, but it would provide shelter from the storms. Nothing was worse than storms. Tornados, flying sand, strong wind, thunder and lightning, death and destruction everywhere, accompanied by great noise. She decided to make it her hideout, over time she improved it bit by bit, she brought in an old, moldy mattress and found herself a rusty old knife that she stole from a corpse.

Her hideout was near a road, so she waited for cars to appear and as foolish as it was, she tried to stop them and trade water for a place to sleep. Luck was on her side again, because nobody had ever tried to harm her and often felt sorry enough for her to give her a few gulps of the fresh liquid. But never ever had anyone taken up her offer of a roof above their head.

She knew why, but didn't mind it much herself. Being surrounded by two-headed lizards her whole life, or rather what she remembered from it, her mutation felt almost normal to her. Even though she could see why a third eye would throw someone off.

Most of the time, she didn't even know it was there, It's not like it was a functional eye. It was just an eyeball, no pupil, eyelashes or eyebrow and it was completely numb to pain. She wasn't even sure it blinked.

Times were becoming hard, harder than before, hard like times before she found her precious hideout.

No cars have passed this part of the road and she was becoming weaker and weaker. Her body, in an attempt to save itself, shut down as many functions as possible, just to keep the heart beating.

But she knew it wasn't enough.

After a particularly harsh storm, which nearly scared the life out of her and which made quite a few holes in her hideout, the roar of car engines could be heard. Her heart skipped a beat, both from fright and excitement. Cars meant people, people meant water.

But people could also mean danger.

And that was something she couldn't risk in her weak state. So she gathered all her strength, gripped her rusty knife and crawled through one of the holes out of her hideout and quickly hid behind it. She planned on observing the situation and then acting.

The first warning sign was all the battle gear and weapons that basically made those cars. The second was that they pulled up by her hideout, she felt her chest tighten and adrenaline start pumping through her. And the third, final part that told her, screamed at her the word DANGER, was their appearance.

After what could have been seconds, her precious hideout was swarmed by young men and older boys. They looked very intimidating to her, white skin with dark patterns, bald heads, covered in scars with feral eyes and scruffy voices, they couldn't mean anything but danger.

On the other hand, food has been scarce, water non existent, she needed to get out of here and this might be her only chance.

Her mind, so young and naive, came up with a seemingly great idea. Stealthily, careful not to make any sound, she climbed under on of their armored cars. Luckily for her, there were places she could squeeze her her feet into and tubes she could hold onto. They would give her a ride, they just wouldn't know about it. And when she'd decide she wants to get off, she'll just let go.

Yeah, because that would work.

The moment they gained speed, she realized she was screwed. Panic settled in, but not only for this reason. The longer they went, the hotter the tubes she was holding were.

The pain was quickly becoming unbearable. She wanted to scream, but the fear of being found was stronger, so she could only cry silently.

It seemed like eternity before they stopped. Tho whole ride she had her eyes closed and teeth gritted, barely keeping quiet. Her feet and palms felt like she was on fire. Never in her life has she felt greater agony.

She opened her eyes, just a little bit, as if it would aid her in not being seen. The light seemed brighter than in her hideout. The car was on some sort of metal ramp, waiting for something. Thousands of people surrounded the ramp, trying to get on, but were held back by the ghost looking men.

With a jerk, the ramp started rising, much to her surprise. From her view, she saw heavy boots of the scary men and dirty mutated hands of the people trying to climb on. The heavy boots stomped on the hands, everyone was yelling, it was becoming too much and she was getting lightheaded.

The journey up wasn't really long, but the sudden change in light that came right after made her disoriented. It seemed like all the light suddenly dissapeared and darkness swallowed the world around her.

Her mind was in overdrive. It felt like all the pain had transfered from her limbs to her head, making her dizzy. Because of all the pain, she couldn't keep track of where the car was going. She was weak, panicking, lightheaded and disoriented, only a few steps before fainting.

A quiet gasp could be heard and she whipped her head in the direction of it. A small, bald head, with wide eyes was staring at her with shock written all over its face. A small boy, very similar to the older ghostly boys, was peeking under the car.

For a very awkward while, they just stared at each other, until the boy jerked. He was probably just scolded, because he dissapeared from her vision in a lightning speed. That didn't last long, because in no time, there wasn't just one, but two heads looking under the car.

It was in that moment that she felt something new, something different. All of a sudden, she felt energized, her body screamed at her what are you waiting for? Go!

With one mighty tug, in which she put a force so great she never knew where she had gotten in that moment, she ripped her limbs from the car a bolted from under it.

She didn't know where she was running. She just was. She didn't have the strength to think rationally, or at all. Her body focused everything on survival, like so many times before and shut her mind into a dark cell of adrenaline.

The only thing she could see were possible paths between the sea of white skinned, bald boys and the only thing she could hear were the yells and rapid footsteps of those chasing after her, which only resulted in her body producing more adrenaline.

For a while she thought she might even succeed, but just as she was getting her hopes up, she tripped.

One of the war boys not involved in the chase stuck his foot out and successfully tripped the little girl. She fell to the ground and the only thing she managed to do before blacking out was to roll on her back and with hooded gaze take one look at numerous people crouched down all around her.

Nobody ever told her how long was she out, she just woke up in a strange place. It was a cave and it was full of war boys, but unlike the other place she's seen here, these boys were sitting or laying down on stone benches, connected to people hanging upside down from the ceiling.

Her hands and feet were covered in bandages and she felt exhausted. Later on she found out the place was called the Organic mechanic's shop, it was a place where sick war boys that couldn't do war were being healed by a person called Organic mechanic, a strange man that creeped her out a little. He was a bit rough and it seemed like his mouth didn't have any filter, for he said everything that came to his mind, but she never had any problems with him.

It took a while and a lot of a strange cream the Organic mechanic made for her, but her palms and feet scarred without any complications and she was oficially healed. Before she even had the time to ask what was going to happen to her now, two war boys came over, hooked their arms under her armpits and started dragging her somewhere.

For a while she tried to struggle, but nothing happened, so she listened to her survival instinct and focused on where they were going and tried to remember the way.

They dragged her into a room, where there were three men waiting already. The first was a disgusting man, old and worn down by illnesses and the two behind him weren't any better, one couldn't breathe without a mask, much like the blonde one, and the other looked like a bearded baby.

She didn't understand at first, but the older she got, the more she realized how important meeting Immortan Joe and his sons was to her. But it went well, he was intrigued by her quick wit, and fortunately her third eye prevented her from becoming a wife. But the Immortan knew that casting her out would be a loss and so he let her stay, not that she tried to achieve that, but she was to become a war boy.

And that's how the torture began.

The war boys hierarchy was tough and climbing to the top hard. She started as a war pup. First they took her to a war boy, who shaved her head and caked a mixture of white clay and water on her skin. Then he dipped his fingers in what looked like motor oil and grease and smudged it around all her eyes. Then they took what little clothing she had and gave her shorts made from a rough fabric and bandaged her chest to cover her still underdeveloped breasts. Lastly, she was given a name. For her speed, quick thinking and wit they named her Weasle.

War pups, on the very bottom of the hierarchy, were taught to become war boys. The hard way. There was no teaching theory and then practice. You had to learn while working, because the war boys had to be ready at all times and there were loads and loads of work to do. From learning to fight, fixing cars, to helping tend to the sick or injured war boys and helping pulling up vehicles back from raiding and scavenging.

For any mistake they were bullied and beaten, so they wouldn't do it again. It was cruel, but it worked and Weasel was lucky that she was a quick learner.

The only time she got to rest was night. In the evening they all went to one big cave, war boys and pups alike, and slept there, huddled cuddled together to prevent the cold from reaching them. It was at times like these Weasel got to think about her life.

She wasn't happy. She ached all the time and the pain never stopped. Sometimes she thought that being dead would be much better than this. She worked hard for becoming a war boy, but what would it bring her? War boys bullied each other the same as they bullied the pups. Everybody, even they themselves knew that they were all very ill and would die much sooner than full lives. And nobody took them seriously, nobody ever treated her like her life mattered. She was sick of it all.

Tonight would be the night she'd end it all, she decided. She found a small window some time ago, big enough to climb through it. If she jumped from there nobody would care, she was just a face in the crowd. Just a number, a small wheel in the big machine that was Citadel. Yes, a machine. Human slaves producing, producing children, producing milk, producing warriors and god forbid if somebody didn't produce as much as they were supposed to.

Her small feet pattered through the nearly pitch black hallways, so silent were they that her footsteps sounded to her like thunder during the mighty storms. She shuddered at the memory. Storms were still the scariest thing, scarier than any war boy or pup. And nobody offered comfort when they came, because nobody probably even knew the word comfort.

Another pair of footsteps could be heard, created by feet similar to hers, they were running, running towards her and before she could even blink, she felt her body being tackled down.

She fell harshly on her stomach, hitting her chin on the hard stone. The other pup, because who else could it be, straddled her back and she could feel his smug grin as he watched her feeble attempts at getting from under him.

"And where do you think you're sneaking off to, huh?" he asked cockily. He flipped her on her back, his eyes going wide and his jaw dropping when he saw who exactly he caught. "It's none of your business!" Weasel snarled at him and thrashed wildly in his hold, so wildly in fact, he had trouble to keep her under him.

"You're...You're The Weasel!" he exclaimed, in awe. She scoffed and rolled her eyes, but stilled "Yeah, so?" "You're the one who sneaked in under one of the cars!" he jumped off her and grabbed one of her arms to take a look at the burn scars on her palms.

Watching this kid inspect the reminder of her injury with sparkling eyes ignited something warm inside her. Her eyes softened and she let him silently marvel over her scars.

After a few minutes, she broke her arm out of his hold "Right, I have places to be." and got up to walk away. He watched her for a few seconds, but quickly got up too and soon he caught up to her.

"What places?" he turned his head cutely to the side. She pondered quietly on how to answer him. "To see the stars." she decided and he didn't press the subject, content with the answer he got.

The rest of the way they walked silently, side by side. Coming to the window, first to climb out was Weasel, the pup right after her.

Turns out there's a small ledge outside, wide just enough to sit on. They sat, side by side, Weasel looking at the stars and the pup looking at Weasel. "Y'know, I never got your name." she said without taking her gaze away from the night sky. "It's Nux." the boy said, turning his head upwards, mimicking Weasel.

"What was it like?" he asked quietly "Riding a car." "It hurt. I haven't felt a pain greater than that." she whispered, bowing her head to look at her scars and he whipped his head to her with a shocked expression and a near silent wow escaping his lips.

They sat for another few minutes, when she felt another wave of hopelesness wash over her and she knew it was time.

Slowly,

shakilly,

she stood up,

Nux's gaze following her. "Be careful or you'll fall." he warned her softly. "I want to." she told him, tired of fighting and trying to forget how everything hurt.

Nux looked shocked, once again "What, why?" he asked with an unbelievable tone. Weasel shrugged "Everything hurts. I don't have a reason to live." she told him simply.

He frowned "That's stupid." Before she could get mad at him, Nux continued "How are you going to get to Valhalla then?"

Now it was her turn to be shocked "The what?" she asked, quirking her eyebrow, looking straight into his beautiful blue eyes. "Did nobody tell you?" At this she shook her head, confused.

Nux took a deep breath "The older war boys told me. We fight for the Immortan, because we are half lives. If we die historic on the Fury road, we spray chrome on our mouth, so we can enter Valhalla, where our half life is cured and we can live happily forever in the afterlife." he told her in one go.

Weasel frowned. She didn't want to die for old Joe. He didn't look like a saviour, she didn't trust him, why would she when he treated everyone the way he did? Nux caught her frown and asked "You don't want to get to Valhalla?"

"I don't want to die for Joe." Weasel said firmly. "Why?? Have you seen him? He's Immortan, the man who grabbed the sun!" Nux praised him, making a triangle from his hands. "Yes, I've seen him!" Weasel snapoed at him. The pup's eyes lit up like two little explosions "Really?? What's he like?" he asked excitedly.

"Illness ridden and he stinks." the girl said and stuck her tongue out at Nux. He giggled, thinking it was a joke "You're funny Weasel."

As the seconds ticked by, she realized something. Even though she didn't understand half the things Nux said about Valhalla, he called himself and everyone else a half life. She knew what that meant and he must've known too.

That could only mean he knew he was going to die, that they trained him to die. But Valhalla gave him comfort, just like to all war boys. And that was sad.

Just then, she didn't feel hatred towards war boys and war pups anymore, but sympathy. They craved the same thing she did- hope.

In that moment, she decided she wants to help them. If everyone wanted to treat them like they meant nothing, she wasn't going to. She was going to show them that their lives mattered, that they were the ones who Citadel stood on. That without them, everything would turn to ashes.

"Right, you convinced me." she told Nux and turned to climb back inside, the boy following closely behind.

As they walked back to the big cave to sleep again, she asked him "How did you know who I am?" Nux snickered "Everyone knows who you are. Being the only girl 'n all. Well, 'cept for Furiosa." and shrugged.

Furiosa was the only other girl that Weasel knew joined the war boys. She tried to befriend her, but seeing the look of disgust she sent Weasel's way made her want to throw up. So she just nodded and continued to walk silently.

At the entrance of the cave she grabbed Nux's hand, the first tiny part of her big plan already in action. "Can I stay with you?" she asked shyly, expecting to get kicked or punched for being soft, but he only nodded with a smile "At least we won't be cold."

[vivienna-vivid]

The masters of Red have no personalities so I made them up.

Feend vor Sembren

Ah yes, Nasuverse!Edgeworth

Strict AF college professor who actually cares about his students. They affectionately call him “Professor Fiend”.

W O R K A H O L I C

A total romantic who loves his wife and son. If only he made a habit of actually coming home…

Did you know this man is 52??? Did you know his son Fezgram is 24???

The only one here who knows how to be a functional member of society.

Pretty heavy smoker, so he has a raspy voice.

Surprisingly, Feenie’s a connoisseur of wine. Kayneth introduced him to a lotta high-end alchohol in their college days.

Yes, he knew Kayneth. They were good friends before Kayneth bit the dust.

I dare you to make vore jokes in front of him. I dare you. You’ll die but at least it’ll be fun.

Listens to a lot of 70s-80s bands. In case you’re wondering, he’s a big fan of Queen and Fleetwood Mac.

Pretty technologically advanced for a mage. His pragmatism towards technology was inspired by a certain gun-wielding magus killer.

Was married into the Vor Sembren family. Since he was born a poor boy, he’s always trying to prove himself.

His parents were Chinese Singaporeans, so he’s fluent in Mandarin.

Feenie’s magecraft focuses on transmutation. With select materials, he can transmute one thing into another. He mainly uses his magecraft to heal wounds and create pseudo organs and flesh.

Has at one point intimidated a person by showing them a transmuted heart and lying that it’s theirs.

His wish for the Grail is… Well, he plans to give the Grail to the Association, so he doesn’t particularly care about the Grail.

It’s to run away from mage society with his family

Rottweil Berzinsky

OH BOY LOOK AT THIS DISASTER.

Australian. Because of that, he has a noice Australian accent.

S H A R P   T E E F S

Man’s been in too much explosions

His Crowley-esque shades hides his lizard eyes.

“If I’m gonna do horrible things, at least I can make them FUN”

Think: Steve Irwin but borderline psychopath.

Is surprisingly good with kids! Rott’s the kinda guy who’d chastise a child for being mean and/or rude, but would teach them how to stab assholes. “Y’see a weird man offering candy from his van. Wha’dya do? Shank ‘im!”

Man’s a natural prankster. He’ll prank E V E R Y O N E and A N Y T H I N G.

Likes: Sunbathing. Hates: Cold weather and winter.

Thinks Gene Rum is a cooooooooooooold bitch with a stick up her arse.

Gene and Rott has some history. Both tend to be employed by the same people.

Rott may be a murderer, but he has standards! No killing children, no harming children, if employer does anything to children he will kill them.

Has killed more employers than actual hit targets.

In the manga, Rott can change into silver lizard form. He doesn’t like changing his form since the more he uses that ability, the more monstrous and mindless he becomes.

Rott is indeed a Chimera, a mage who is able to turn into an animal to some degree. He didn’t become a Chimera from his own volition, so that’s also a reason why he rarely uses his ability.

As a Chimera, he’s gained some lizard perks even in his human form. For starters, his saliva is toxic and has lizard eyes. He also can shed his skin to heal certain wounds. In Chimera form, he’s covered in nigh-indestructible scales.

Rott was an orphan who was adopted by a mage named Zagreus Berzinsky. The man wanted to create mythical beast of yore by forcefully fusing children with all kinds of beasts. Rott was one of those children.

Rott was able to escape with a few kids. Eventually, they made their way to the Clocktower. While he himself never went to school, he 100% made sure his “younger siblings” are enrolled in the Clocktower. It’s for their safety.

His wish for the Grail is for an antidote for Chimeratization. Oh! And to kill off Zagreus too!

Gene (Jean?) Rum

Gene, short for Genevieve. (Or Jean, short for Jeanette)

Straight-laced lipstick lesbian.

Likes books because, unlike people, they’re actually engaging. Nah she’s just a bit awkward and self-conscious.

Grew up reading Shakespeare, Arabian Nights, and Grimm’s Fairy Tales.

Since she’s broken into Ivan the Terrible’s library at least once, I can tell you that she’s a professional lock-picker. Wizard who took a level in Rogue.

Fluent in many languages due to her time abroad.

Favorite Genre: Russian Literature

HAS PUBLISHED HER OWN POETRY BOOK!! Though, it’s under a pseudonym and bringing it up will make her really embarrassed.

Thinks Rottweil is a bITCH-ASS MOTHERFUCKER.

Gene doesn’t care much about the morality of her employers. As long as she gets paid, she won’t stick her nose in her employer’s business.

You’d think she’d have Mystic Eyes what with her chilling side-eye.

Loves puns but you’d be hard-pressed to get her to laugh at one in public.

Finished her education in the Clocktower but chose to lead a life of a mercenary. Her family was… pretty miffed.

Never attends family meetups.

Org Rum is her little brother and his presence turns on her latent Cain instincts.

Do you have your rival family’s documents? Do you want to ruin them by exposing these documents but they’re encrypted? HIRE GENE RUM TODAY!

Gene’s magecraft focuses of aeromancy, the control of wind.

Her most famous technique is the ability to make thread-thin tornado chakrams. Anyone who touches these tordano-wheels will get sliced. If she focuses a bit harder, she can imbue her chakrams with lightning.

She makes those storm-threads with a small buckler-sized spinning wheel she bring along. It’s her mystic code and she’s very protective of it.

Cabik Pentel

The current patriarch of the Pentel Clan, a family of esoteric assassins/mercenary group.

Hardly ever emotes so it’s hard to tell what he’s thinking.

But he’s usually very honest and won’t sugar nor exaggerate his words.

The only reason he’s can understand other people (to a degree) is because his brother is such a good person.

Yeah, Cabik loves his brother very much. And as such, he loves his brother’s twin daughters. He’s somewhat of a cool uncle to them.

Doesn’t quite know how he feels about being patriarch since the clan is awful as all hell. He’s good at being an assassin, so he’ll continue the work in the meantime.

BOY ONLY KNOWS HOW TO KILL PEOPLE HE DOESN’T KNOW HOW TO HUMAN, BLESS HIM.

Proud father of houseplants and a cat

Q: Weren’t you and your brother called “The Gum Brothers” in college?

A: ………………………………………Ah. So you’ve chosen death.

How many daggers does this man have? A LOT

Seriously, you’d think he has a limit to how many daggers he can carry but. No. He just… fucking pops out another pair if the ones he’s using are lost.

His twin knives are called Rahu and Ketu and he loves them very much.

The Pentels specialty magecraft is body modification. Cabik uses this to make his body pliable as fuck.

This bitch can basically make his body have the consistency of a ferret’s.

Need to dodge? Fuckin’ dislocate your spine! Gutted? Move your organs upwards to not make them fall!

Deimlet Pentel

The older brother of the Pentel siblings. Supposed to be the next family patriarch but left that position for his brother.

Big teddy bear man. Big teddy bear wrestler man.

“HAHAHA!! I AM HERE!!” -Deimlet (and totally not All Might)

Divorced man of two daughters. BUT!! HE STILL LOVES HIS EX-WIFE VERY MUCH!!!

“I may want to remarry my ex-wife. Or not, haha……. Unless…;)?”

Stronk dad to stronk daughters. He taught them how to wrestle and….. he’s so proud of them ;’)

MADE OF LITERAL SUNSHINE!! IF YOU SEE THE SUN IN MIDNIGHT, YOU MIGHT BE LOOKING AT DEIM!!

Super protective of his mustache. It’s his magnum opus so do nOT MESS IT UP

Legitimately hates the Pentels, but still loves his baby bro.

Q: Weren’t you and your brother called “The Gum Brothers” in college?

A: What? I didn’t hear you there! Mind *cracks fingers* saying that again?

While he married out of love, his responsibilities as heir-apparent (and assassin) made him incredibly distant to his family. 

When he was tasked to kill his then-wife’s brother’s family, he did so with much hesitation. Because of that, his brother-in-law nearly killed him and ended up dying anyway.

His wife was… not happy, to say the least. That’s why they divorced and she took the kids.

And that’s how he left the family! Killing, as it turns out, sucks ass!!

Good ending tho: he moved to Finland and started tutoring the Edelfelt kids in wrestling.

He’s… actually a masked wrestler there. He’s been on TV a bunch of times!

Joined the HGW mainly to make sure Cabik is doing fine.

Uses his family’s magecraft to super harden his body. 

You can’t gut this man ‘cause he made hIS BODY INTO LITERAL STONE!!

Man is just Indian Alex Louis Armstrong. Thatse it! He cannot change this!

[agentmothman18]

Merry Christmas! (Idk? Part 2)

Okay so I’ve been working on this for two days (two nights technically-) so sorry for misspelling or if it’s pretty crazy. Like all over the place crazy. I don’t write with a plan, that’s never fun in my opinion. So anyway, Merry Christmas! I hope this was a good gift to the few that wanted a second part!

Walking down the corridor, Dib realized that it wasn't just the high schoolers from the dance that got taken. He saw adults from stores he'd visited and fast food workers. There where even kids, no older than 5, crying in corners in a cell with strangers. Seeing this, and the faces given to him for walking 'free', made his gut twist and turn. The betrayed look, the hatred, it was something he hadn't seen in years. The hatred at least, the betrayal was new but very unwelcome. And could he blame them for feeling that way? No, he would too if he saw a another human walking next to a guard with no restrains.

So the boy kept his gaze ahead of himself, staring at the door at then of the hall. He would set them all free, one way or another, all that training during his pursuit of Zim would finally come in handy. But for now, he had to be tactical and see where he was going and what they were going to do to him.

"Move faster." A gruff voice grumbled behind him, a heavy hand placed in his shoulder and pushing him forwards. It hadn't been much strength behind that push but Dib could tell this alien could easily crush his skull if it wanted. Made him wonder why this alien was even hear, with that kind of strength he could easily leave. But, there was strength in numbers, so it wasn't hard to really grasp why this big alien was here still.

"I'm going, jeez." Dib huffed, shaking the aliens hand off his shoulder and walking faster. Beyond the door, was a rather big room with four doors. Even a little room with computers where a pink alien watched the screens, only looking up when the two had reached a sliding door. The pink alien had reached over with one of its extra arms and pressed a button to allow the door to slide open. An elevator, barely big enough for the alien escorting Dib. The boy thought for a moment that he'd be going up alone, but being squashed against the far wall of the elevator proved him wrong. 'Isn't this humiliating.' Dib thought, tensing when the aliens hand pressed against his back. Warning signals blared in his mind, more so when he felt something he slipped into his pants.

He had not time to react, the elevator doors opening and he was pushed out. Handed off to a different alien who found it necessary to cuff him. But he didn't acknowledge that to much, his mind racing with what could be in his pants now. It felt flat and when he was pushed into walking, he felt shark corners. However, with each set it moved farther down his pants, to which he quickly pressed his hands against his butt pocket to stop it. 'What the hell is this?!'

"My tallest, the human you requested." Dib could tell this wasn't their usual hang out area, it was far to close to the prison cells. The human could only guess they had come, guessing Zim had told them enough about himself to make them be cautious. Rightfully so, anymore sight seeing of this ship and Dib would have had a better idea of how to free everyone.

"You were shorter last we saw." Purple looked Dib over, both nearly the same height. However, the tallest's where an inch taller than Dib.

"Last you saw was over a screen nearly 5 years ago." Dib replied, keeping any snarky or rudeness out of his tone. It would be best not to anger them just yet. "Why was I requested?"

"Zim won't tell us what he's done with the information he stole, all data of it has been erased from his pak. You were the only human he talked so fondly of so you are going to get that information from him." Red stated, glaring at the human. Dib opened his mouth to speak but shut it quickly after. There were a few ideas that came to mind, but only one really stuck with him. One that would really make everyone feel betrayed but it was for a good cause.

"Fine, I'll get the information. But," That didn't make the tallest happy, but Red motioned for him to continue. Willing to listen to his demands. "I get to be one of your soldier's." He internally cringed after saying that, hating it more than anything. But he felt this was the best way to get everyone to safety, maybe even free other plants if things really went well.

"That requires skills and training that you don't have and-"

"If you can beat our best soldier with you hands bound then you'll be one of us."

"Purple! You.." Red sighed, seeing as there was not taking it back now. And he had faith that their best soldier would win, especially since the humans hands were bound. "Fine, Nyx!" A little Irken with a tray strapped to its head came running over, shaking slightly. "Take this human to the training deck. That's where the fight will be held."

——

The layout of the ship seemed fairly easy to navigate, but with all the twists and turns the Irken had taken him down, it would be a miracle if he remembered the way. But he had bigger issues right now, and that was the fight he was about to have. If their best soldier was anything like Tak, then Dib felt he might not be able to do this. That irken had been a nightmare to deal with, granted that was during the time he was young with no fight training behind him. But still, he had a disadvantage with his hands tied.

"This is the training room." The little Irken known as Nyx said, pushing Dib through the doors. There were a few Irken in the room, and a few aliens Dib didn't know that race of. Though, it did hit Dib with the realization that maybe their best soldier wasn't an Irken at all. It could be possible, given the various alien types in the room. "I hope you have nothing to lose." And then Nyx was gone, rushing out the doors like a bat out of hell. The only thing Dib had to lose was his sister and dad, but when it all came down to it, did he even have them? They weren't exactly the nicest to be around, or weren't even there to begin with.

Dib turned his attention back to the aliens in the room, all looking at him and examining him. So he did the same, looking each and everyone of them over. None of them looked strong, but from years of fighting Zim, he knew better than to assume ones strength by looks. The others decided he wasn't worth their time and continued on with their training, giving Dib the opportunity to not only watch their fighting styles but to also retrieve the thing in his pants.

It had been a chip of some sort, small and black with blue lines in it. He couldn't get a better look with his hands bound behind him, and struggling to look at it would cause suspicion so Dib shoved it into his back pocket for later. 'Why did he give it to me?' More questions like that rang through his head, none of which he could think of a good answer for. However, he felt this had to be tied to the information Zim had stolen, it couldn’t be anything else and if it was then he’d be surprised.

“This won’t be to the death,” Tallest Red’s voice started Dib, the boy quickly turning to look at the alien. “And if you fail, you’re still going to get that information.” Definitely a threat, Dib could tell by the edge and glare. He didn’t expect any less, Red always did seem like the more stern and cut throat kind of leader over the calls he dropped in on. So Dib only nodded his head in agreement to that, knowing better than to buck the system at this point. It was one against thousands and there was no way he’d win that kind of fight.

“One round,” Purple butted in, his eyes looking towards one of the bigger aliens in the room. And when the other acknowledged Purple, they were motioned over. Dib was a quick to assume this was their great soldier, sizing the taller alien up. This one held a bored expression, brownish green skin marked up with scars. “First one pinned to the ground looses.” They where just wanting him to loose, making this situation even more difficult that it had to be and unfair as hell. Nevertheless, both nodded to the conditions and where moved to the center of the training room.

The few aliens that where in the room still had quickly moved any equipment out of the way, pushing everything against the walls. The human watched as one pulled a whistle from its pocket, coming to stand by the Tallest’s. As they talked about the terms of what should happen, Dib glanced at the bigger alien in front of him. They were taller, had more muscles on them and a lizard like tail. He’d have to avoid that, as well as block any attacks. One hit from this alien could probably knock him out cold.

Dib mimicked his opponent and got ready for when the whistle would be blown. His stance, unlike the other, was less menacing and looked similar to one a racer would take except he wasn’t as hunched over. But when the whistle was blown, the boy tensed up at having the bigger alien rush him. However, he didn’t freeze in place, noticing quickly how the alien left it’s torso and legs exposed. It was sad when all the human had to do was side step the alien and trip them, a loud thud echoing in the room. But a win was a win, and Dib was quick to stand on the aliens back to keep it down. ‘This was anticlimactic.’ He thought, hearing a second whistle blow and quickly stepping down from the aliens back. “I think you need better soldiers.” The remark earned him a nice slap to the face, from Tallest Purple who clearly didn’t like his soldiers being insulted.

——

When the human had said he wanted to be a soldier, he hadn’t expected them to immediately gear him up. He had been un-cuffed and given a soldier outfit that looked like a mech suit but more fitted in a way. Less bulky and more movable. From the neck to the torso was blue, with an Irken soldier symbol indented in the middle of the chest. And since he had no pak, there where three holes where the pak would have been placed. It was easily covered by the pak shell built into the suit, meant for protecting a pak of course.

If it wasn’t for this suit being Irken made, Dib would have been stoked to wear it. But it only made him feel bad, like he was really betraying his people. ‘It’s for the best.’ He kept telling himself, keeping a straight face as he was lead to the room Zim was being held in.

From what his guide was telling him, this ‘room’ was meant for holding the worse prisoners and for creatures that would be later tested on. They had bring Zim into an interrogation room, which Dib wondered why he wasn’t there to begin with. Having any living thing isolated with nothing to do felt like a better thinking punishment than being in a room with others. He thought that way until he saw just was this room was like.

Fifty or more orbs filled the room, some bigger than others and all where floating a good 5 feet off the found. The room was fairly cold and the few workers he saw wore far more than he thought was necessary. But these were Irken workers, and from what he’s learned from Zim, Irkens were cold blooded creatures.

“This might take a second.” The guide told him, starting the boy a bit. They had reached Zim’s pod, a screen projecting from the pod to make a holographic keyboard. Dib paid more attention to Zim, noticing how the aliens breathing was slow and almost nonexistent. He didn’t move a muscle, curled into a ball and looking actually comfortable. The pod, like all the others, where filled with plush looking blankets. Dib wondered why they gave these prisoners nice blankets, they where the worst so shouldn’t they have the worst?

There was a loud, echoing ‘psh’ sound as the orb cracked open. A once seamless circle now had a prominent line around its middle, and soon it had no top when the Irken guide lifted it open. Dib watched as cuffs were put on the aliens small wrists, a groan leaving the waking Irken. Zim wasn’t given time to completely gather himself, pulled from the plush blankets and onto the hard floor with thud. Dib could only watch as his Irken guide yanked the taller Irken to his feet and started dragging him from the room. It barely gave Dib time to react, but he was able to quickly follow after the two.

The interrogation room was right across the hall and in the room was a chain welded to the ground. No seats or a table, just that, which Zim was cuffed to by the time Dib fully got into the room. “Take as long as you need.” The guide then left, a click of the door signally their complete departure. And the two finally looked at each other, Zim’s eyes widening as he looked Dib over. The humans could see a look of a betrayal in the fake contacts, the alien quickly glaring at him and attempting to cross his arms.

“All those years of stopping me and look at you know.” Zim hissed, yanking at the chains even though it was useless.

“Shut up, I have a plan and that involves doing this.” Dib said as he motioned to the suit he was wearing. “But seriously, what the fuck did you do? What information was so important that they come to earth just to get you?” The human demanded, watching as Zim glared off to the side. He looked like a scolded child who got more angry than upset.

“Why should I tell you anything? I’m going to be erased no matter what happens.” Dib was shocked to see the tears spill from Zims eyes. He’d never seen the Irken cry before. “I’d rather die than ruin everything we’ve been working towards.”

‘We?’

[incorrectsmashbrosquotes]

Rage

Today in the Smash mansion, Crazy Hand has gathered almost everyone here for a special announcement.

“Everyone, I have some great news to tell you!” He stated. “I have picked the next person to be a part of the Smash roster!”

Mario stood up from the audience. “But, isn’t Master Hand in charge of that while you’re in charge of cuts?”

“And didn’t he say you weren’t allowed to choose?” Link asked from the back.

“Yes and yes. That’s why I made this a surprise!” Crazy answered. “Now, this newcomer is from the Earthbound series…”

“Ninten!!” Ness cheered from his spot of the auditorium.

Crazy Hand continued. “Is well known and requested…”

Ness shouted again. “Ninten!!”

“And, he’s a villain!” Crazy added.

“…Gigyas?” Ness asked, now tilting his head.

“I present to you…the newest addition to the roster….” Crazy Hand then pulled the curtains aside, revealing the newcomer. “Porky!!”

Porky was wearing his red and black buisness suit standing next to his splash screen quote, “Porky takes over!!”. 

“All hail the King of New Pork City!!” Porky laughed. Other than the applause that was somehow coming out of Crazy Hand, everyone was silent.

“Huh. Nice to see someone from your home series added, huh Ness?” Luigi asked. All Luigi would find was Ness staring blank faced at what he was seeing.

Master Hand entered the auditorium, wearing some towels over his fingers. “What’s with all of the-” He then saw the same sight the other Smashers saw. 

“Surprise!” Crazy shouted.

You could almost hear Master Hand facepalm.“Crazy, what the hell…”

——-

 Master Hand told the Smashers he’d go talk to Crazy Hand about this. That being said, Porky was sent to hang out with the younger Smashers. Porky currently had his arm wrapped around Ness incredibly tight while some of the other kids looked on in confusion.

“So this is where you’ve been hanging out at, huh?” Porky asked, looking the other kids.

Ness struggled to force a smile. “Y-Yep…” He really didn’t want to talk to Porky after everything he had done. He may have used to be his friend before, but after all of that, forgiving him was near impossible. Unless…

“Say, Porky?” Ness started. “Do you…remember anything about…." 

Porky then shoved Ness to the ground. "Woah, that kid has a flaming lizard. With wings!” Porky than ran over to Red and looked all over his Charizard, much to Red’s dismay.

Ness sighed. If only Porky didn’t remember, than there could’ve been a way to keep him from turning out the way he did…and I could save the one person I wasn’t able to…

Pit and Meggy walked over and helped Ness up. “Who’s that kid, Ness?” Meggy asked.

“That’s Porky. He was my childhood friend before all the stuff with Gigyas happened. It’s…much easier to get the whole story if you play Mother 2…” Ness sighed. 

“Oh yeah. I think I heard Lady Palutena mention some pig kid ruining Lucas’ life in one of her guidances.” Pit recalled.

Ness’ eyes widened. “Crap, where’s Lucas?!” He asked in a panicked tone.

“Uh, he’s out with Bayonetta and Joker. Why?” Pit asked.

“Guys, we cannot let him find out about Porky! If he does, he’ll be stuck with the person who single-handedly ruined his entire life, and he’ll never be happy again!”

“We can’t let that happen!” Pit said.

“Guys, Master Hand said that he’d handle it. I mean, I’m pretty sure that he’s almost got it sorted out by now. He’ll get it done before Lucas even comes back!” Meggy tried to reassure them.

Ness looked down. “Y-Yeah, you’re right.”

Toon Link glanced out the window. “Uh, Lucas is back, everyone.” He pointed to Lucas walking with Bayonetta and Joker carrying some shopping bags.

Their eyes shrank and they glanced at Porky, who was busy pulling on Ivysaur’s bulb. Leaf was about five seconds away from knocking his block off.

“Guys, we have to hide Porky!” Ness shouted.

——

.Lucas’ day had been spent mostly shopping for clothes and other accessories. Joker picked out Lucas’ new attire, which all in all looked pretty stylish. Lucas then made his way up to the kids room, where he heard some loud shuffling. 

He opened the door and saw all of the kids crowded around what appeared to be a new piece of furniture with a blanket over it.

“Hi guys. Um, what are you doing?” He asked, tilting his head.

“O-Oh, you know us! J-Just….being fresh!” Blue said with a nervous smile. “Resting on this…exotic table Vill got us!”

Villager nodded nervously and gave a thumbs up. 

“Huh. Well, I got some new clothes so I’m gonna-” Lucas walked over to the closet.

“Neeesss, I wanna come out from under the blanket!” A whiny voice was heard. “The king of New Pork City demands it!

Lucas looked back. "What…was that?”

Ness punched the “furniture” hard. “Nothing! I didn’t hear anything!”

“Hey, don’t punch me!” Porky made his way out from under the blanket.

Lucas stood and saw the absolute last person he had ever wanted to see, standing right in front of him. He dropped the bags on the floor. His expression read complete shock.“What…is he…doing here…?”

30%

Ness looked over at Lucas. “Dude, I’m really sorry! Crazy Hand thought it was a good idea to add Porky.”

“After…everything he’s done….” Lucas mumbled. 

50%

Porky looked over at Lucas and raised an eyebrow. “Eh, who’s….” He then remembered. “Oh, your that kid from that other time!”

60%

“You….” Lucas mumbled.

Porky laughed. “Man, I can’t believe I have to share a mansion with this crybaby!…Wait, you look familiar…”

80%

“Oh, you look exactly like my general, Masked Man!” Porky announced. 

Popo and Nana looked over to Lucas. Once they saw his expression, they became terrified, as if it brought back terrible memories. Not the face specifically, but what came after. The two ran out the room.

“He had a name…” Lucas said, now audible. His fists were clenched.

“Hm? What was his name? Clover? Claps? Wait, no. Clown?” Porky said that last one in an incredibly mocking tone.

95%

“He kept on crying about how he wanted his mom or something before I turned him into a chimera. What a baby! I’m actually glad that the Mecha Drago did what it did.” Porky admitted with no shame.

Ness stepped forward. “Okay, Porky. That’s eno-”

Porky wasn’t there. Neither was Lucas. All that was there was a giant hole leading outside, with Lucas in midair holding Porky by the neck. 

“Shut your…DAMN MOUTH!!" Lucas shouted. His eyes were now red, and his hair was in a much more messy state than the way it was usually in.

100% - Rage

————-

Snake was relaxing with the other adults in the hangspace, laughing at a joke he had made.

"I’m serious! That actually happened!” Snake told them. “And then Colonel said-”

“Snake!”

The joke was cut off when the Ice Climbers ran in panicking. Snake turned towards them.

“S-Snake…It’s…it’s Lucas….” Nana said.

Snake raised an eyebrow. “What do you mean?”

“It’s happening again!” Popo shouted. 

Chrom looked over to Snake with a worried expression. “Snake, what are they talking about?”

Snake’s had a shocked look on his face. He quickly got up from his chair. “We have to-!”

CRASH!!!

A loud noise was heard outside. Snake, the Ice Climbers and some of the other adults glanced in the direction. “Oh no…” Snake mumbled.

———————

Porky was laid out by a tree that didn’t break when he was hit into it. So far, Lucas has been knocking him all around the backyard, practically demolishing everything in the area. Now, there were Porky shaped holes, and demolished trees all around the mansion. 

Lucas slowly walked toward him, a dead expression in his eyes. “Get up." 

Porky sniffled. "P-Please…n-no m-more…it h-hurts…” Tears streamed down his face.

Lucas picked him up by his hair and punched his already incredibly bruised face. "Funny. How many innocent creatures…“ He punched Porky again. ”Including my brother and mother said that before you mercilessly took their lives?“

Porky sniffled again, then threw something at Lucas. Albeit, it completely missed. Lucas sighed and shook his head, throwing Porky into yet another tree, and slowly walking towards him.

"Lucas, stop!" 

Lucas shifted his eyes over to the other kids and some of the adults who had ran outside. He had stopped in a position right where the object Porky

"Luke, I know you’re really angry, but you need to calm down!” Snake shouted.

Lucas was still for a second, then turned around to face them. “Why the hell should I?! After everything he’s done, he deserves this!!”

“Dude, I know your really upset, but Master Hand said Crazy wasn’t allowed to add fighters!” Meggy shouted.

Unknown to them, Porky had a grin on his face. He reached into his pocket and pressed a button, causing the object he had thrown that was right behind Lucas to react.

“Yeah! He’ll get this sorted out and then you’ll-!” Pit started.

Suddenly the sky darkened and a purple puff appeared behind Lucas. Lucas turned around, and saw the Ultimate Chimera with it’s jaws wide open.

“LUCAS!!” Ness shouted.

CRUNCH!!!

The Ultimate Chimera closed it’s mouth on Lucas’ body. Getting caught in the jaws of the Ultimate Chimera was pretty much a guaranteed death. Porky laughed.

“How do you like that?! That was my Ultimate Chimera in a capsule device! It can summon one of those bad boys to my disposal! Now then…” Porky pressed another button on his device, summoning the giant robot he had used in Subspace Emissary. It still had the All Safe Capsule attached to it. “Time to take out everyone who opposes me!!” He shouted as he leapt into the machine.

(Note: In the All Safe Capsule from Earthbound, it is impossible to be hurt. Nothing can get in to harm you, and once you’re in, you can’t leave. The glass is unbreakable. You are stuck, forever to be in perfect health for the end of time, outliving everyone.

“…Lucas…” Ness muttered.

………

“Ashley’s gonna kill us…” Toon Link muttered.

…………….

“Ness, this guy was your friend?” Pit asked.

“That is a heavy was.” Ness answered.

“Enough!” Porky shouted from his machine. “Now, I’ll start with Ness! Specifically since I dislike him the most! But don’t worry, I’ll keep the angels, those squid people, and whatever animals those other kids keep in those orbs as henchmen! They might actually serve as good chimera’s!”

Suddenly, there was a loud burst of energy that had came from the Ultimate Chimera. Everyone looked in the direction, and saw that the top jaw of the Chimera had been torn off due to the blast, and the teeth in the bottom jaw was pretty much destroyed. The rest of the machine was lying on the ground, occasionally twitching it’s legs. On the teeth, was Lucas. However, his clothes were tattered, his face was completely blacked out, and his eyes were glowing a pure white.

.Lucas’ percent:………….???%……………

Porky grimaced. “No…no, your supposed to be dead!!” He shouted.

“He’s alright!” Ness shouted with relief. However, Snake held his arm out, as if to tell everyone not to approach Lucas.

Nana was clinging onto Popo, who was currently shaking in fear. Pit noticed this. “Hey, what is it?” He asked.

“It…I-It’s happening again…” Popo mumbled.

Porky screamed and fired lasers at Lucas. As the lasers approached, Lucas simply held his hand out. Using his PK energy absorption, he took the energy of the lasers. Lucas then teleported right next to Porky’s machine, and landed a kick so powerful the it took off two of the robotic arms. Porky’s mech lost it’s balance, but then tried to attack Lucas with a multi-jab attack. Lucas used psychic energy to form a barrier around himself so he wouldn’t get hit by it. He then grabbed the robotic arm and bashed Porky’s machine away with it, sending him flying across some more trees.

“Gah! Quit hitting me and fall already!” Porky charged an energy shot and fired at Lucas, who then absorbed it once more.

“…I don’t want it. You can have it back…." He held out his palm. "PK….Goner…." 

What followed next was a powerful PK blast that hit Porky’s robot. It’s power was great enough to not only destroy the vicinity of the area, but blow everyone back as well. Once the dust subsided, Porky’s now destroyed machine laid down in the deep crater that was created by Lucas’ blast. 

”….“ Lucas teleported over to Porky, now standing on top of the glass that separated the two. He then crouched and started punching the glass

Porky had a sinister grin on his face. "Heh…you won’t be able to get me now. Once I’m in here, that’s it! I’ll be safe in here for-" 

Crack!

Porky’s eyes widened as he saw the glass begin to crack due to Lucas’ punches. This wasn’t making sense. The glass was supposed to be unbreakable! No one should be able to touch him! So how was Lucas…?

Lucas’ fist finally shattered the glass, puling Porky out of it. Porky now had scratches from the broken glass Lucas pulled him through. Holding the King of Pork City by his head he threw him to the ground, and planted his food firmly on his chest to hold him down. Lucas pointed a finger at Porky.

"N-No!” Porky shouted again. “I-I’m sorry! I’m sorry!” He was once again crying.

Lucas looked at him with a blank expression. “….Porky, it’s not the date of your birth, we aren’t at the hospital, you aren’t your mother, and I’m sure as hell not your father." Lucas’ finger then began to charge a PK Fire.

"Lucas, wait!" 

Lucas would turn around to see Ness and the others behind him, finally getting to where he was. "Lucas, it’s okay! You don’t have to beat him up!” Ness shouted.

Lucas just turned and glared at them. His finger still held the PK Fire.

Snake gulped. “Kid, please….” Popo and Nana just trembeld in fear.

Lucas continued to glare at them. He then turned to face Porky. “….." His face slowly began to turn to normal. ”…Tell Dr. Mario to clean him up…“ Lucas mumbled before storming off past everyone.

Everyone watched as Lucas walked off. "Is…is he gonna be alright?” Pit asked.

“…” Ness didn’t have an answer for this. He had expected Lucas to be greatly saddened by the return of Porky, but instead got a full show of Lucas’ pent up rage towards Porky come to light. “…I don’t know…”

[renaer-is-allegedly-hot]

session 7 notes

again . i have no pity for the formatting .

OK WHEN YOU'RE IN COMBAT

Roll a d20 to attack

If you're using a weapon +5, if you're not +3

IF YOU ARE USING

Dagger (20 ft reach)

1d4+3 damage

Shortbow (80 ft reach)

1d6+3 damage

Shortsword (5ft reach)

1d6+3 damage

And then you add sneak attack ONCE PER TURN!

2d6 added to damage

 Alrighty here we go

Jacob's gonna dm a broken sink one shot

Halfway through offtime, freetime

We went back in time

Have been getting used to living w each other

Tensions starting to build bc different living habits

A week and a half into downtime, downstairs for breakfast

Before kitchen was set on fire

Halflings are cooking bc I said it was funny

We have a fridge

Cel opens the fridge, investigation check

8

There's half a carton of half and half, two eggs, jar of jalapeno sauce jelly (or is it jalapeno sauce and jelly?), half a loaf of french bread, four potatoes, onion

Dip bread in the egg, mix w half and half…savory french toast?

But the sink is clogged

Cel is taking the food out of the fridge, theo is making the vegetables and cel is doing the french toast

Theo is making a dexterity check, cel is doing a wisdom check

19 and 4, respectively

Cel forgets what french toast is or forgot the basic steps so scrambles the eggs and puts them on top of the bread like eggs benedict, now it's toast w eggs on top + perfectly diced potatoes

We probably have an oven we have an oven

Theo sticks the potatoes in the oven

Has passive insight of 9

Puts potatoes in a little too long, come out a lil too dark

Throwing jacob for a loop bc he's not using the sink

And we didn't wash the potatoes

Asyna and Aerana

Asyna was sleeping, aerana comes back from a walk

Asyna walks downstairs, aerana busts down the front door, take a deep breath and it's burnt potato skin and scrambled eggs

Surprisingly appetizing

Dm will probs let it happen

We eat breakfast, asyna says it was good

The potatoes were a little burnt - we roll constitution checks

None of us r poisoned

Now we have four dirty dishes

Cel tries using the sink, water comes out

Sink starts to fill, cel turns off the sink, water just below the top

Grinder next to it

Sloshing water, kinda gross

Asyna proposes turning into a fish to swim down

If she dies in this it's fine

Turns into a good fish

Turns into a newt

"do newts have legs"

They breathe through their skin

Tb to that one episode of wild kratts

Yeets in as a newt

Barely fit in the drain bc apparently newts r kinda chunki

Rolls a 12

Actually got an 11

Squeezes in the really tight sink drain

Halfway through it's pitch black but lizards have darkvision so

Halfway down hits a fuzzy black mass

That's . Icki

Water barely trickling through it

"can I shove it with my strong newt arms"

Makes asyna want to sneeze

Asyna is gonna make a nature check

Rolls a 7

Can tell it's kind of like a plant

"can I eat it"

"do you want to"

Takes a nibble

Constitution saving throw w lizard stats

Gets poisoned w an 11

Except we don't know she's stuck

Now has disadvantage on all rolls

Feels terrible

"you bite into this fuzzy mass, and it's super, super bitter"

"there's so much that you take a big bite - damn you are really poisoned now - you did take out a solid chunk" but there's enough that it's still clogging

Tries climbing back up

Makes acrobatics check w disadvantage

9, gets halfway back up the drain, poison really hits n kinda bloats, makes her stuck

Moans

The mold was at the curve (we don't know it's mold tho), halfway in between bottom curve and top is where marguerite is

Stick ??? Wire ?? String ???

Sleight of hand check, you roll 14

U shove it down and u hit smth and u hear a noise, wedge it in between the side of the wall and the newt, start inching back up, eventually we see a tail poke out of the drain

Bright orange newt

Animal handling check, you roll an 11

But u pull her out

Asyna leaves the sink then turns back into a non-newt

She's still poisoned

Asyna knows it is black and fuzzy n smth similar to a plant

Cel runs nature check w advantage

19 cel is like yeah that's black mold

Using a stick and poking aggressively, theo is

Dexterity save, 23

Shoves mold down, toothbrushed the drain and pulls it out

Looks like a stick w a black marshmallow at the end w a bite taken out of it

"I was trying to help"

Sink has been successfully unclogged, asyna is poisoned, our fridge is empty and everyone ate unpeeled potatoes

 Dom's turn

Snuck into residence trying to sneak around groundskeeper n stuff

Lots of dead ppl lying about

U know what would b fun a dnd campaign but make it criminal minds homebrew lmfao

We're in g10 on the map, can still hear fighting upstairs

We've only been in g7 g8 and g10

Adam is holding vicious mockery and stealthily opens the door for g6

Total of 20 for stealth, appears to be a pantry w spices n jars n preserves, against far edge is a barred door from the inside

Two servants inside who r dead, older human male and a younger halfling

Adam closes door, tries not to throw up, opens door and slightly investigates bodies

Medicine check - 16, looks like stab wounds; older human dressed more finely, younger wearing an apron

Both r v dead

Door barred from jacob's side, he gets us into the room, we all go in

Cel looks at the barred door; heavy plank of wood placed over to keep it from being opened

Aerana rolls 21 perception check, you don't hear anything but sounds like it could lead to the street

Adam is gonna peek into g5, door opens without trouble

Just a kitchen, large fireplace w space for a big pot

Pot is empty, nobody's in the room

On to g9 we go, ppl draw their weapons

Asyna and cel go to g9, adam cel and aerana hang out in g8

Aerana knows that it gets foggy and rainy in waterdeep in the spring, you start to hear heavy rain from outside

Room is furnished for comfort, lots of dainty chairs n lounging sofa, wine cabinet, paintings depicting different humans in noble attire, two more dead bodies in the room that look like guards

Asyna and cel don't recognize any faces

Upstairs we go?

Nope theo does g11 adam does g12

Theo goes in first, door is locked

"haha lockpick time"

Door is made out of wood

Puts ear to door to listen for anything, rolls 6 for perception

Doesn't hear anything

Now will pick lock, 11

Doesn't open lock

Adam tries kicking the door, 13

Can't open the door

Gets a bruised shoulder jk a bruised toe

They go to g12, it's a cozy library w tall bookshelves and wooden panels

There r tomes

Adam checks out the book on the lectern

Theo goes back out to let us know what they found

Adam sees a locked book, looks like it could be a wizard's spellbook but not sure

Picks it up, takes it

10 for intelligence; there's a symbol similar to the one on the bodies of the guards like a coat of arms

Comes back and tells us he found the book

Theo tries lockpicking

Rolls a 22, opening it in g8

Opens the lock, first page has symbol

Says 1,239 - 1,422

What does it mean jacob will roll intelligence

Rolls an 8, doesn't know

Second page is all black

Adam holds it up to the light, feels cold or like coal ?? Falls out and gently floats to the floor

Splits into three pieces

We roll for initiative

Cel has nat20

17 for asyna

16 for theo

12 for adam

Aerana has a 9

Piece of paper falls to ground, splits, from the three they melt into the floor but then become a taller form and swirl around in grayish smoke, they look like ghosts, v skinny n purplish w long claws

"hey there demons, it's ya boi"

Cel goes first w shsw, hacks the closest one

Doesn't hit, monster is making strange gasps things, kind of reaches out to strike, hits, 14 damage lmfao

Halved her hp, makes constitution saving throw

14, swipes at her and hands pass through the armor, feels drained

Asyna is gonna try to turn into something guess it's a badger

Attacks the one that's closest to asyna, rolls 15 to hit and rolls a 12, both hit

Rolls d6 and adds 1 and 2d4

7 damage for one, 7 damage for other

It's like ur trying to hit smoke

Theo will hit w shsw, 17 to hit, 4 to damage

Lashes at same one, swings shsw and connects but feels like not injuring it that much

Adam makes all of them make charisma saving throws, 18 14 and 2

One of them disadvantaged but not at a disadvantage they just have to subtract a 1d4

Uses cutting words on the other least damaged ghost thing

For next attack have to subtract 1d6 from roll

One lurches forward to attack theo but misses

Aerana deals 18 damage to closest one to you that hasn't been hit yet

Strikes and it spins around, almost gets out but u hack at it and sword passes through part of it but comes back together

Other guy tries to hit aerana, 11 misses

Cel does shsw again, 18 to hit, 7 damage

Our current attacks are dealing half damage

Other guy doesn't hit

Asyna goes, rolls 14 and 6; 14 hits and deals bite with 7 damage

Theo rolls 16 to hit, 8 damage

Frenzy kind of fight, everyone in melee

None looks more hurt than others like difficult to tell

They're hovering

Adam rolls, sees cel p damaged, heals cel a little bit to 16 hp, healing is a bonus action so vicious mockery on one of the ghosts

survives

Other guy goes while jacob pees

We're in g8 and coming down the stairs we see a man drenched in all different kinds of blood with a shortsword, short dark hair, human, runs down and wearing a dark armor reminiscent of the zents, makes an immediate left at the front door and runs away into the rain

Oop adam the guy rolled a nat20, somehow the other guy is getting damaged ? Wait I'm confused ok ig so

13 damage and jacob gets OHHHH it's a reactionary fire thing bc he's a tiefling

Guy does 23 damage and adam is down

Adam has to do a constitution saving throw, 17, adam falls unconscious like he's fainted

Aerana rolls 17 to damage

Deals a really heavy blow to one of them and it almost vanishes to nothing but then comes back and reforms

Misses attacking me suck it

Celandine casts cure wounds for adam for 8 hp

Other guy attacks and misses

Badger!asyna time

Uh is it bad that I just . Haven't mentioned groot . And that groot should still be there from last session . Oopsi

Anyways badger!asyna rolls nat20 for one and 2 for the other

Picks bite or claw, doubles whatever is rolled for dice, rolls 9 so is that 18 or what ? Ig it doesn't matter for me

Goes for the one closest to her so the one attacking cel

Solid bite attack

Theo's turn, 22 to hit, 8 damage

Adam wakes up, has other guy make wisdom saving throw w 11, needed a 12

2 damage and it has disadvantage on next attack

"danny phantom more like danny phandumb"

Sends it reeling w a mental attack

Rolls and misses to hit adam

Aerana rolls and kills it with 13 damage

Brings shsw up to get it out of face, appears to be too much for it to take, gasps and recedes to floor then dissipates

Cel's turn w shsw, 6 and does not hit

Other guy doesn't hit either

Badger!asyna rolls 9, doesn't hit, 13 and hits w claws, w 7 damage

Yikes didn't kill twas close tho it's v weak but not dead yet

We notice three guards dressed in the same attire as the dead ones downstairs and they also just straight run out the front door

Theo hits with 7 damage

Kills one of them, slashes and almost does a decapitation but it just reforms bc it's a ghost and then it melts into the floor

Just the one left

Adam's turn to roast it, misses ig, healing words self

Ghost's turn ig, doesn't hit

Aerana rolls 13 to hit, 8 damage; close but doesn't kill (no sneak attack)

Cel's turn, misses

Badger!asyna rolls 19 and 8, both hit; roll for damage, 6 damage

Kills it w claw and smashes it to ground as it fizzles away

The book is open, no other black pages in the book; closes the book and adam puts it into his knapsack

No sound of fighting upstairs

Let's go upstairs w asyna going first ig

Badger lumbers up stairs but it's awkward bc claws were not designed for this

A lot was happening in g13 but now it's like most ppl r dead upstairs

Turn to left w door directly in front left ajar, pushes it more open

Goes into 15a, hears a shout "the city watch is on the way !!" from area g16 but pushes into 15a and sees a small antechamber like a repurposed closet space

We're all in g13 now

Adam is gonna walk into g16

Doors are closed but he's able to open them; two occupants w an older middle-aged human woman w a breastplate carrying a rapier standing next to a half-orc bodyguard in center of the room - looks like well-furnished bedroom

They see him and r staring at adam

"hi . I'm adam . Uhm . These r my friends . We saw a couple of guards and a really bloodied up man in robes run out of this building and we were concerned for its occupants"

Attempting to persuade

Rolls an 8 and it's a bad lie but she's bad at reading people

Has a few daggers and a small crossbow and can see he has it

Puts up rapier and screeches at adam to disarm self

He sets ukulele on floor

"there is no time for jests ! Disarm urself, sir !"

Picks the ukulele back up

"did u see where that thief went"

"I just saw him run out of the building"

"we're all great citizens of waterdeep we just want to make sure ur ok"

Half-orc gives adam a look that could shatter a vase

As we turn to leave, we hear sounds of sobbing inside area 15b

Theo will knock for asyna

Everyone is in g16 except for theo and asyna

Hears sounds of sobbing and then they stop and you hear a voice "no please don't hurt me"

"we're not here to hurt u we just want to make sure ur ok"

"alright ?? Am I alright ??? My life is in dAnGEr"

"adfsjkdfa I'll never tell" mans is a burbling mess

Theo rolls persuasion check at disadvantage, 9

Man says he's armed and will kill if they come in

Back to g16

Cel disarms, u disarm shsw and shbw but keep dagger hidden

Look around the room, looks a little bit in disarray; there's a window w shattered glass and it's raining

U can tell that the window on the far north wall has been shattered

Noble woman tells us to sit

Adam asks if we're in trouble

Adam looks at us then the other ppl

Adam casts pyrotechnics and smoke bombs them, 20 ft of smoke hitting them and we run "beat it guys"

Originally we arrived here bc naya led us here, we're looking for the owner of the necklace

There's smoke in the room just kidding jacob undoes pyrotechnics

Doo do dood o dood o do do do do do doooooooo do do do od ododo dod o do dododo dod o do dod o do do do do

The jeopardy theme song as dom re-summarizes

Ok w that in mind guess we gotta figure out the owner

Back to the other room, there's more sniffling but maybe he needs a therapy!badger

"would u happen to b missing a necklace"

Pause and he goes "necklace ? Well I never"

Insight check, nat1; hard to tell if he's telling the truth or not

Door is locked from the outside

Theo asks if he needs help getting out "nO ur a beast"

Try lockpicking again w thieves' tools check

D20+ proficiency + dex modifier

Gets a 20, picks lock; inside is a bed like a smaller guest bedroom, can hear sniffling behind the bed

"sir we're not here to hurt u . Do u recognize this?"

Theo shows him the necklace, asyna is still a badger, trying to look cute

Making a performance check, gets 14 and tries best to look non-threatening but the balding human man w a rapier in his hand screams when he sees badger!asyna

Theo rolls for persuasion check

Rolls a 6, gets sense it's not someone who's going to respond

Maybe badger!asyna will try to intimidate

Cel realizes the lady is one of the people in the painting

"the lives of my soldiers, the integrity of my home"

"and what about a necklace"

Insight check, flash of shock across her face but she regains composure

We take our weapons back and back out of the room

Badger and theo try scaring with theo making an intimidation check w advantage from badger, rolls 17

Groot survived combat !! I'm gonna make groot bite the dm smh you can try me I'll keep getting dogs as a side quest

Theo says badger is hangry and is threatening w the hangry badger!asyna, theo is standing on the bed

Man immediately drops rapier and starts crying and pleads for his life

"please pls u wouldn't dare I'm crying" OOP THE WOMAN WAS DEALING W THE PPL TEA PUPPET WHERE

Bro the stone what wait

We just want info

Here's what we got

Smth abt half a million dragons

Smth abt the zents fighting the xants

Smth abt being involved w the zents but his wife specifically

Smth abt giving the necklace to "the puppet"

Theo asks abt the puppet

"that's the problem w these stupid things they think for themselves I heard it blew up half a street accidentally" was supposed to go after the gnome but missed

Takes theo's hand "pls u can't kill me I'll tell u - what do u need"

Tells us we gotta go the house of grinda or smth in the dock ward for the puppet

Gains his composure and leaves from hiding behind the bed, takes a piece of paper w a well-done sketch of a strange being

Looks like a contract w a guarantee of quality for a construct

"pls it looks like this don't kill me pls"

Theo takes the paper

We stand up and go from g16, badger and theo see we had left, adam shuts the door

Theo apologizes to the guy

Adam casts sleep on the dude just in case

Makes him sleep w 26, we leave

We look outside and there's a bunch of torchlight by the gate - citywatch ? The inspector is there investigating a murder or disturbance or smth

We book it out of g6 into the street on the opposite side of the mansion

Raining a lot

We walk/speedwalk away, adam makes a general wisdom check for nearby taverns

The yawning portal is in the trades ward, we're in the north ward or we're in the sea ward

We're in one of the wealthy wards

It's raining so much that we have disadvantages on stuff

Are we ?? Riding the badger ???

Could be ridden by halflings ?

Theo and cel ride asyna

We're walking to mirt's ig

Stopping point ? We're dealing w mirt's house next session

We learned some weird info abt the puppet

Oop we're roleplaying that just theo bc asyna is a badger

His wife had business w the zents, they sent the order for the puppet and theo has the plans

And that's that ig

The stone might b real 0.0

"it is truly springtime in waterdeep" w the fog and the rain

Oh we level up ig

[kellanved-ammanas]

Space Mercenaries AU: Town Bar

As expected, Scout was starting to get used to the whole killing thing. It helped a lot that the enemy team had a Respawn Chamber of their own – they also only had nine people, seemingly filling the same nine roles – so he wasn’t killing them permanently. He was also kind of, sort of starting to get used to dying and waking up in the Respawn Chamber. Which wasn’t something he’d truly thought possible and yet here he was.

Getting a break from all of it was more than a little appealing though. So, when Demo suggested they all go to the bar in town now that they were able to exchange some of their paychecks for a currency that would be accepted by the local townsfolk, he accepted.

It was a bar. There was nothing really all that unique about it other than the fact it was built of white stone and everything was portioned to accommodate the squat little lizard aliens that inhabited this planet. It made Scout feel tall and caused nothing but problems for Heavy, the biggest member of the group. But all nine of them somehow managed to settle down at a table anyway, more like two tables smushed together.

Pyro still being the only one capable of communicating with the locals ordered for them. He did so while practically bouncing with excitement about being useful. After the incident with the purple smoke it made Scout a bit nervous but there wasn’t much he could do about it.

It wasn’t long before all but Pyro had a drink placed in front them. It came in a stone mug and was an unpleasant shade of pink.

Unlike everyone else at the table, Demo didn’t hesitate before taking a drink from it. He smacked his lips and frowned slightly. “It tastes horrible,” he said before proceeding to take an even bigger drink. He didn’t keel over though so…

Scout took a sip from his own mug. … Yep, ‘horrible’ was the only word to describe it. Which was a trademark of normal alcohol so that didn’t mean it was bad. Enduring it for the sake of getting drunk might be worth it though, assuming humans could get drunk off it.

“Eh, I’ve tasted worse,” was Soldier’s response as he followed Demo’s lead and drank some more.

Spy took a single small sip, made a face and immediately put it back down, clearly not intending to drink anymore. Heavy, Engie, and Sniper made no comment about it as they sipped at their own drinks. Pyro naturally wasn’t drinking with them as that would involve taking off his mask which he refused to do. And Medic who had insisted on being the designated driver for the return trip had pulled out a clipboard, clearing intending to take notes on what kind of effects it would have on everyone.

“Spy,” he said, gesturing with his pen, “drink it, I need to know how it affects you too.”

“No, thank you. It’s horrid.”

Medic opened his mouth to answer but paused as Spy vanished. “Don’t you bail out on me, I need to know.”

The chair Spy was sitting on shifted a little as he presumably stood to leave. Other than that though, there was no response. Which judging by Medic’s frown made him very displeased.

“Screw him,” Demo cut in. “We can have fun without him,” He raised his mug in a toasting gesture.

“Yeah.” Scout raised his own glass in response. They could have fun and get drunk without Spy. It’d be better without Medic there too but he didn’t exactly have any say in that matter.

 -

It didn’t take too long before they go their answer about whether or not they could get drunk off it. Demo downed it as if it were water, resulting in the tell-tale signs of intoxication in less than half an hour.

“It don’t feel like normal drunk,” he slurred out, his words barely understandable. “But not bad… kind of weird though. Eh, I’ll get used to it.” He shrugged finishing off the rest of his mug and gesturing for the waiter to refill it.

Scout was agreement that it didn’t feel like ‘normal drunk’. He would describe it as bad though. His head hurt and he felt simultaneously too hot and too cold on top of a general feel of wrongness. Thus he wanted to stop after just one but everyone else ordered another round – Demo and Soldier were on their who even knew what round – so he did too. He wasn’t a wuss, he could handle alcohol, even alien alcohol.

It wasn’t too much longer before a thump came from one end of the table. Scout looked over too see that Demo had finally passed out, his head has slammed into the table. Soldier was now patting him on the back, saying something to him that Scout couldn’t quite make out over the growing ringing in his ears.

A light prod on his shoulder drew his gaze to Sniper sitting beside him while everyone else was looking at Demo. “You uh… okay there mate?” he asked, his brow furrowed with concern. Hey, he was worried about Scout’s health, that meant he at least sort of cared a little bit, right? That was a good first step in any relationship. Now if only Scout didn’t feel like he was dying so he could appreciate it more.

“Yeah, I’m fine,” he lied before taking another sip from his drink. He almost couldn’t taste it anymore. His mouth felt numb but he managed to swallow it anyway.

Sniper just looked at him, his frown deepening. “Uh… your nose is uh…” He gestured vaguely.

Scout lifted hand to his nose and it came away wet with blood. His nose was bleeding, quite badly too. “Oh,” was all he could say as he stared at the crimson on his hand.

“Uh Doc,” Sniper said, speaking louder than Scout had ever heard him speak before. Too bad he didn’t get to hear more of it as he was suddenly falling over.

And… he opened his eyes to sight of white walls in the Respawn Chamber. Blinking in confusion, he stared at them. He’d… died. Which was something he’d done quite a few time by now but every time he’d seen it coming. Not this time though. … On the bright side, he felt a million times better. That was certainly one way to get over being drunk and not have to deal with hangover quick. It was far from ideal though, dying wasn’t fun.

He exited the Chamber, freezing as soon as he out. Spy was sitting in a chair nearby smoking a cigarette, as if he’d been waiting.

“Uh… hey,” Scout said. If it wasn’t for that one positive interaction they’d had during their first battle he would’ve been more annoyed. “What are you doing here?”

Spy grunted noncommittedly in reply.

“It’s totally just a coincidence that you’re hanging out in front of the Respawn Chamber, right?”

“I suppose so,” Spy replied, sounding disinterested. He was up to something but… what? More importantly…

“How’d I… end up there?” Scout pointed back at the door to the Respawn Chamber. Saying out loud that he’d died still odd and uncomfortable.

“Alcohol poisoning would be my guess. And at least we now know that the Respawn Chamber does have a good range on it. I was pretty sure it would, it’s good to have confirmation though.

“But I didn’t drink that much.” Scout had only had like two mugs. “Demo and Soldier had way more and they seemed fine… well not dead anyway.” Surely if it was toxic to humans Demo would’ve fallen over dead within minutes with how fast he was going through it. “Does this mean the others are going to like… you know, come through too?”

“Maybe, I suppose we’ll see.” Spy stood and strolled out, pausing by the door to look back at Scout. “I would recommend you don’t drink that stuff anymore.”

“Yeah, no kidding,” Scout said despite the fact that Spy had already exited. There was no point trying to get information out of him, it wouldn’t work and he’d just go invisible if Scout tried.

 -

No one else came through the Respawn Chamber. They all returned back to base via the old-fashioned way a short time later, all varying degrees of intoxicated except for Medic and Pyro. Demo and Soldier were both unconscious, clearly not dead though.

The group locked onto him and approached as soon as they saw him. “You died,” Pyro signed. “You all right boy?” Engie asked. “You okay?” Heavy asked. All speaking/signing at the same time while Sniper just looked vaguely concerned and Medic looked far too interested.

“Yeah, I’m good. What happened?”

“You died,” Medic said, his tone matching his intrigued look and sending a chill down Scout’s spine. “I need to experiment to find out why.”

“Uh fuck no. If you even try I’ll bash your face in.” Scout would rather die again than be subject to Medic’s experimentation once more. He still didn’t know what Medic had done to him after he’d passed out from the smoke the other day and he didn’t really want to know either.

“Yeah, no, Doc don’t,” Engie agreed. “Why don’t you help us get Demo and Soldier safely in their beds huh?”

Medic made a pouting face that was almost comical but turned to follow Engie and Heavy out, heading towards the bedrooms. Which left Pyro and Sniper with Scout.

Pyro stepped forward to stand directly in front of Scout, meaning he had something say. “Blood was leaking out of your eyeballs,” he signed, moving his hands slowly so Scout could understand. For once he wished he couldn’t though. “The locals were very upset. Medic said it was probably a brain thing. He tried to help though but then you died anyway because he didn’t have the stuff to fix it.”

“Uh… thanks Pyro, I really wanted to know that.”

“You’re welcome,” Pyro signed before cheerfully skipping off.

“Uh… yeah, it was pretty bad,” Sniper said, awkwardly rubbing the back on his neck with a grimace. He wasn’t quite steady on his feet. “Uh… glad you’re okay though, we was worried Respawn might not… extend that far for a bit, ‘til your body vanished. Maybe don’t uh… ever drink that stuff again, huh?”

“I wasn’t planning on it.” It had tasted nasty anyway so no loss there. “Why’d it only do that to me though?”

Sniper shrugged. “Maybe you’re allergic.”

“Hmmm… I guess maybe.” Why did the one thing Scout was allergic to – as far as he was aware anyway – have to be alien alcohol? It simply wasn’t fair, especially since he was the only one. Whatever, he could live with that. And at least he now knew that most the team – except for Medic, probably Spy, and maybe Pyro – cared about him, including Sniper. That was good information to have even if the journey to get it hadn’t been pleasant.

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