#so i always kind of just left it alone bc it wasnt my thing but recently ive been like super into the shit math can tell us abt the univers

[toastsnaffler]

everyone say thank u to my roommate for going to visit her parents this weekend so I can jack it loud and nasty 🙏

[inkybinkyboink]

i love u math people who explain math in a way that non-math people still interested in math can understand

[nymph-ette111]

Hello! I’m grateful you wrote my request and this is in no way me complaining, I only want to answer what you said about accuracy and all. I’m well aware than npd is not well researched so I’m putting this more so as a way to give you more insight than complain about your portrayal, I’m chill with it. Sorry for the long message. It’s kinda hard putting this stuff into words, but I want to bc I’ve seen one too many posts about all ppl with npd needing to be ‚separated from the society, put down or castrated to stop their kind from spreading’ so I’m not about to waste an opportunity to put out a different perspective. If you don’t want to publically respond I’m chill with that, this is just some info for you if you wanna know more

I really resonated with the part where you said Toby loves like a dog because that’s also the metaphor I use to explain npd. Bc it kinda feels like you’re a dog, you love like one certainly. It feels like you were raised for cagefights. They taught you when you need to bite to survive and get a pat on the back. Taught you that if you didn’t, things get ugly for you. Taught you that everybody is a threat. You have never been prepared to read emotions because surviving and winning were always synonymous and both consumed your youth too much to genuinely learn social clues. And maybe, now you’re out of that place. And suddenly you’re expected to be a good dog, to love and be soft and kind. But the best you can do is act and frantically look around the room for a sign of a threat, because at this point you expects to be hurt. Sometimes you still bite. You know how to fight for your life but you flinch when someone wants to hug you. You’re mean and bitter at heart because as far as you know anyone could hurt you for any mistake you make. Showing weaknesses is out of the question, so you put on a mask. You need to be the best and to be perfect because you know what happened when you weren’t. You hate yourself for every mistake and see that as a life-or-death threat. You seek patterns to be safe and you learn to respond well to things without knowing why you should perform a certain way. You remember that when you used to make a wrong step, it was hell for you. And it’s hard to make a connection when you fear everybody hurting you. When you can’t grasp why anybody would keep you around if you’re not benefitting them. So you act like you’re great and hope that people believe you enough to think you’re worth having around

When I met my roommate in the school dorms I really liked her. A few weeks into knowing her, she started giving me food and trinkets. And many times, though I acted with all the gratitude that I always had to show and I did all the things you’re supposed to do, I felt lost. Because I wasnt very useful to her. She had no benefit from giving me things. Shamefully, I do admit I sat there alone tearing up at a chocolate bar or two that she left for me because it felt so confusingly nice(?) and I still don’t know why she does it. But of course I know (by observation) that people are uncomfortable when others question things like that. So I don’t, I just try to be useful and hope she decides I’m convenient to have (a ‚pleasure to have in class’ of sorts)

With manipulation it’s hard to say how much of it is true because most of the diagnostics were based off of male case studies and generally when the label of ‚npd’ has been slapped on someone, most things they do are seen as kind of evil. I know I do avoid conflict and use my words to my advantage if I feel threatened, yeah. Just yesterday had a friend getting progressively more heated at me (we have very different opinions on things as it turned out) and I did subtly framed it as ‚I thought you were more mature than that, it’s really childish to blow up on me’ bc I know he feels like the group doesn’t treat him seriously. Is it good? Maybe not, but a threat is a threat and I’m not about find out what he does when he gets really angry lol

As to the ‚look at me, I’m the best’ kind of thing, you have to put yourself first because you’ve been put last by everyone else. In a sense, it really does feel like fighting for your life and then being thrown into a setting where nobody had that growing up so you feel like you need to act like them and count days before everything turns ugly again because it’s hard to believe most people aren’t cruel and dangerous. That’s all you’ve known and all you prepared for

So you have a hard time forming honest connections. You feel like an empty shell and discard your smile as soon as you’re through the door. You’re tired. And you don’t know how to act in this new world. So you still do what you need to survive, despite everyone telling you that it’s not about that anymore

Like, ofc I have some personality. I know I like making music and enjoy a quiet evening. I know others tell me I’m fun at parties, funny, charming. Sometimes it’s hard to tell what is me and what is my survival instinct kicking in though. The way I see it, the modern mirror of Narcissus is in other people’s eyes. And I just try to do anything to keep seeing admiration instead of hatred in them

To be fair I feel like that would work (somewhat) with the creeps, because they aren't super well either and someone who can see patterns in their behavior (how they act when something is wrong etc) could work better bc I don't see then opening up and talking about feelings either. Sure, all those things kinda suggest that they could also mentally destroy me if they wanted (but I would let them bc I love them, especially your portrayal of ben 😌😌). Also I heve a feeling BEN is the kind of guy to show you gore videos for fun and talk about tormenting others for funsies so inability to emotionally connect with others would probably make it easier to enjoy yourself around him lmao idk about others probably trauma bonding would work?? Lol

-⭐︎

HELLO?? I FUCKING LOVE THE WAY YOU DESCRIBE THINGS OH MY GOD I'll try to respond to every point in this message because I really like it and thank you for reaching out so often I love when people interact with me :) literally get so excited once I see that little star emoji at the end of requests because I know it's you lol. I mostly based the headcanons off of people on Quora (other than more research on different sites) since it's people with said disorder talking about personal experiences and other people who don't have npds' interaction with people who do have it.

I fucking love when people use the dog metaphors for toby when writing him.

I agree on the point that some creeps would have this, Jeffrey comes to mind, I feel like a lot brush him off as an evil person but I see it as a sort of defense mechanism for him? I can definitely see Jeff relating to this for sure.

IM SO HAPPY YOU LIKE MY PORTRAYAL OF BEN X3 and that's so true I literally mentioned it in one of my headcanons like that stinky fucker would show you gore and legit go 'its not even that bad' when you start freaking out. Definitely pops up those videos on your devices randomly. He's so annoying I love him.

One thing I don't like about creepypasta headcanons that revolve around the reader having a personality disorder is the creators make them act so...nice? Like I know that's what people want to read but let's be honest these serial killers never experienced a day of comfort in their lives, I genuinely don't see them being all that nice about it unless it's more of the kinder creeps like Liu or Jane or Nina but even then they'd be awkward about it. The most they'd do is notice (unless you straight up tell them) and that's it. I wouldn't say they would straight up fucking degrade you for having a disorder but I don't see them caring because they're all traumatized, I don't see them sympathizing with reader so yeah that's something that kinda bugs me in creepypasta headcanons.

[queerspaceprince]

super long post

i saw the tv glow spoilers, me being depressing, tw's in tags

i went to see I Saw the TV Glow this afternoon. i got it. def cried a little (idk if hrt has stopped me from crying more bc i havent cried since i was in hs anyway) my sib got it, tho we havent talked ab it yet bc im still processing even now. my mom did not get any of it. at all. wasnt affected. thats fine, whatever.

and. jesus. i give the movie a 15/10, but it was. a whole lot. i have too many emotions.

Im def gonna mention a few spoilers so if you dont want to be spoiled, is your warning.

it made me feel too much. is the allegory really allegory if the hidden meaning is right at the surface?

when owen says that thing during their convo on the bleachers -i cant remember the exact words fuck- something about feeling hollow or missing something or whatever, how he thinks something is wrong with him and his parents do to-i feel that. so much. i felt it so much more before my egg cracked, but i still feel it in relation to my depression and anxiety. that hit me.

there was also that part about feeling like you're watching yourself from the outside, as if through a tv. oof.

then the whole thing maddie said about how time didnt feel right, how nothing changed when she left. i get it. I was 10 nd my parents got divorced, and suddenly im 11 and thinking i wanted to d1e for the first time, and then im 14 in a kind of manipulative relationship, with like 1 friend and super depressed, and then i was graduating and realizing im queer and exploring my gender and going through a breakup. then im 20, and getting my first job, and coming out to my family. and now im 26. and i still mostly feel the same way i always have. i have more good days, and im more confident now, but i still feel like im just going through the motions a lot of the time.

when did I stop being a kid? ive been an adult for 8 years and Im still only working part time (32 hrs), still living with my mother bc rent is $$$$, still barely functional enough that I havent cleaned my room since last year and ive only showered 3 times in the past week, and i have to force myself to go get coffee on my days off or else ill stay in bed all day. Im just stuck here. i shouldve taken driving lessons when I could. id be out. except i cant leave my sibling behind with my mother. shes not awful, but them being alone is an explosion waiting to happen. but they dont have a job and i doubt i could support both of us. and now i dont trust my eyes enough, like i read for 15 minutes and everything else goes blurry, like im seeing triple.

anyway. next is the scene in where she talks about k1lling herself to get back to the pink opaque world. I. have to admit i nearly threw up. the imagery, the way she spoke about it. she said she regretted it while she was stuck underground, then how she felt good about it, about getting out....ive been sitting in a low spot for a while, it was better while we were on our trip, but it just reverted when we came back. i keep thinking im going to relapse into sh again. i feel so close to the edge sometimes. and theres really no reason for it either. my life is fine. not great, not perfect. but adequate. anyway i had to close my eyes and take a minute after that.

i feel that even without wanting to go back to the other world, maddie was suicidal. she wouldve found some reasoning to k1ll herself. Now ive only ever been actively su1cidal once, when i was 15 -or 16- idk my teen years are all a blur of depression and anxiety. im good now. well. i say good. im more, self destructive then really wanting to d1e. just. i feel so bad on the inside for no reason, why can i have a reason to hurt on the outside?? anyway, im ok now, im 3.5 years clean, i dont want that to change. im working on my coping mechanisms.

there was another quote from that planetarium scene that i couldnt stop thinking about but has now vanished from my mind entirely. bc sometimes getting my thoughts in order is like. catching smoke.

anyway. then everything after that. him growing old. knowing something about him is different but not wanting to acknowledge it or it would drastically his life as he knows it. I understand that feeling. except for me, its not exactly acknowledgement of myself, its doing something about it. while I didnt exactly stay in the closet long, that feeling of not wanting anything to change is why the closet exists. i realized i was queer in 2014, trans 2015. came out as bi that summer, but i didnt come out as trans until 3 years later. when I had a job. access to money if i ended up getting kicked onto the street. i literally had a bag packed and ready to go. and yet. even when i did come out, i was too afraid to correct my family on my pronouns or name for another year. my sibling really helped with that. immediately used them. Tbh theyre my fave person and id do anything they asked.

the whole thing about there still being time.

i see a lot of tiktoks about this. people watning to do stuff now bc there is still time to change your life or whatever. im interpreting it differently.

there is time now, but your hourglass will run low eventually. live while you still can, while you can still do something about it. how that message showed up after maddie left- their time together had run out, but he might still be able to do something. make a change. idk. but owen was too scared to do anything.

im still scared to do anything.

i still dont correct people on my name or pronouns if they get them wrong. i still dont speak up if my family says anything not pc (they are learning tho). im too scared to talk about any big feeling i have bc ive always been brushed off in the past and i dont want to feel worse becasue of it.

i still havent done anything to get my name or gender marker changed bc im scared. idk why. ive been living as a man for 6 years, i got top surgery almost 3 years ago, and ive been on hrt for nearly 2.

it terrifies me for some reason. maybe ts the complexity of it. ive found 3 different versions of the paperwork, and nowhere does it tell me exactly how or who to submit it too. one of those said i could submit online but it had to be printed, notarized, and scaned back into the computer? none of the other versions said it had to be notarized???

and i have nobody who has any knowlege that could help. my aunt worked for a lawyer for years, and yet she just said all I have to do is go to the dmv. like babe. no. thats not how that works.

i think ill start on that again.

while i still have time.

[theinconveniencing]

me exploring the most secure building alone after hours bc my friend didn't come with me to do our show tonight? well. probably just about as likely as you would think

to set the scene it's 10pm it's dark I'm in this massive building all by myself I'm a bit spooked.

so I took the elevator down to a floor I'd been on but not that area but I opened a door and heard someone so I left and went up a floor. to a floor in an area where I Had been. but I had never been down one of the hallways that just led to a bunch of offices then looped around. but at the end of a very short hallway on the end of that loop was an exit door. and I was like where the fuck could that door portably lead outside that doesn't make any sense. so I walked over and got sidetracked by an unlocked but ultimately uninteresting custodian closet. I looked closer at the door and the sign was like "heyyy can you actually just use this as an exit for emergencies it leads to a storage area" and like hell yeah the emergency is im a nosy ass bitch! so I opened the door and here's where I was

two slightly different angles but I was like woah. hello. not exactly what I was expecting. and idk if you can tell but that black spot on the wall in the very back isn’t a chalk board or a regular window it's open like. just a big hole in the wall. low key felt like a parking garage.

before I closed the door behind me I checked the handle and it was locked so I took a piece of metal and jammed it open because the sign said emergency exit but I sure wasnt seeing an exit and I did Not wanna go down those stairs.

anyways. I walked further in and saw that a sprinkler valve door room whatever was open which. they're always locked so having the door be Cracked was insane. so i walked in and was greeted with dish city baby!!!

like hello! it was so many dishes I was impressed. the fence to the pipes and tanks and valves n shit had a gate with a lock but the lock was unlocked on the fence next to it so I was like okayyyy don't mind if I do

I was expecting all that to be cooler but I have no idea what any of this is. and if I was insane I would have gone down the ladder into the hole but I'm NOT. I didn't even stick my phone down there for a flash picture what if there was a monster....

back outside the sprinkler room I saw this creepy lil alcove behind the walk ins that you can kind of see in the background of my first pictures

I walked down a hallway (not pictured) and reached a junction.

the exit sign is pointing to where I came from. straight ahead was obviously where the employees kept their stuff and there was a purse over there so knew there was at least one person Somewhere in this massive place.

to my left of where this photo was taken there was a set of locked doors and to my right was an ice machine and a washer of dryer I don't remember

past the ice machine was this storage room which was pretty standard but there were massive holes in the back wall? I couldn't tell where they led or why they existed it was very odd to me

and now the big one. this hallway

creepy as shit. reminder I was alone and it was late and not a soul knew where I was. anyways. I walked down and looked at the opening to my right

they really do a great job of locking things up around here. it's just a bunch of food but I was still interested so I was gonna go in but I heard a noise down the hallway so I looked and I saw somebody walking out of a doorway so I just turned and walked back to where I came from like I belonged there. or at least I hope that's how I looked.

I don't even know if the person followed me or if they saw me or if they cared but let's just say thank God I propped that initial door open because I sure as shit didn't see the exit I was promised

but yeah I went back into the main part of the building (which was still dark btw) where I knew there was a guaranteed exit and I heard keys jingling and a radio and I really don't know if it was one of the building managers (they're always very nice to me :)) or campus police but I waltzed out those doors and ran the fuck back home. okay I walked and called my mom and sister but. such an odd experience.

and naturally I took some things because I don't pay all that tuition for nothing

I genuinely need a salt shaker and there was a whole bin of them so I don't feel bad. as for the other thing it's a magnet and there were like ten of them stuck to the side of a surplus file cabinet but I literally don't remember putting it in my pocket? like I remember taking it off, looking at it, going "why would I want this" and putting it back. so imagine my surprise when I felt it in my pocket on my walk home like girl what the fuck.

but yeah that was my campus adventure and you already Know I texted coincidence explorer girl telling her we need to go back there together. so I feel less like shitting my pants.

[jadedharleys]

jade harley. what song!!!???

ok i forgot .to answer this ages ago but . jade harley songs. and holy shit oops this is like an entire fuckin essay with half of the songs on my playlist. enjoy

grown ocean by fleet foxes

its the. "children grown onthe edge of the ocean" like her growing up on an island in the middle of the ocean. and like. the bits about dreaming. "in that dream i could hardly contain it all my life i will wait to attain it" waiting and waiting for the day sburb will happen after so long alone... "i will see you someday when ive woken ill be so happy just to have spoken ill have so much to tell you about it" her letter to john about wanting to see prospit with him one day when hes awake.

^ cries. but like its so similarly worded...

empty room by arcade fire

once again. "my life is coming but i dont know when" and shes so used to being alone but one day shell see her friends and she knows so much more than she lets on. its the caption on this -> art

also it reminds me of her talking about meeting alt calliope

like. her life is coming her purpose will one day make sense but she is put to the side to wait to have a reason for so long. first with her childhood on the island waiting to meet her friends and play sburb and then on the retcon yellow yard when she

theres just something so tragic about her being so resigned to that sort of existence. the endless waiting for a purpose and meaning. and when she does gets the satisfaction of having that realized but she still . yknow what i mean.

ghost adventure spirit orb by chloe moriondo

listen its always the escapism dream sleepy sillygirl songs with her but this one also mentions frogs so its even better. remember when my url was @ghostadventurespirit0rb on my main lol.

trees (hallway of leaves) by sleeping at last

oh my god this is just like such a homestuck song in general ok but very much jade perspective. the mystery of it all as everything she knows about starts to happen yknow. the epic adventure unfolding as things fall into place. and shes dreamed of it for so long but theres something left out still even as she thinks she understands everything that leaves this tragic underlying dramatic irony like how hopeful and excited her letter to john was. i want to do a lyricstuck to this so so bad one day

youth by daughter

another general homestuck song but. this verse is so jade. i drew a like super short mini lyricstuck thing her with it at 1 am once that basically expresses my feelings about it

glowing by the oh hellos

this is very godtier ascension vibes with those last couple lines but its jades godtiering particularly to me bc it rlly has her vibes. "talking at the house plants all on your own" idk its her energy. and like her calm knowing powerful awesomeness when she does all her awesome stuff in cascade feels so fitting to the way the "i guess it would feel like rebirth out of some kind of dying to see yourself so glowing" jade harley is so cool tbh

five by sleeping at last

the whole song is about space which gives it jade points ofc and what i specifically picture with this is. cascade. "i want to break it into pieces small enough to understand and put it all back together again in the quiet of my private collection" her shrinking the planets to bring to the new session and all. "living behind this one way mirror" the wall rewinding homestuck panels idk.

human by daughter

ok this is like. grimbark . to me. in angsty sadstuck ways. idk what to explain about it. ig the "i think im dying here" line is like. yeah. her dying and getting a just death even tho she wasnt being herself :( i captioned this art with it btw

runaway by aurora

once again dream escapism vibes. but some specific lines are "i had a dream i was seven ... saw a piece of heaven waiting impatient for me" prospit imagery tbh. ok and also. "i was painting a picture the picture was a painting of you and for a moment i thought you were here but then again it wasnt true" is very. the reveal of the events of the new timeline. with calliopes drawings and everything? but also fits her waiting to meet the other kids in the medium one day after knowing it was gonna happen eventually

but with this way the . "for a moment i thought you were here" line idk its like. the timeline being different idfk. also i was like so confused when i first read this so its like the. hold on wait wtf . sorta moment. like bro what do you meannn they sploded. and "ive been putting sorrow on the farthest place on my shelf" is so . the prospit flavor of emotional repression. im very skilled at it i understand

west by radical face

ok this one is some more of that tragic vibes i talked about with empty room and her role in the story and her waiting and everything. "a quiet life...one where are hopes and dreams are attainable things" "dont stop to think just chase the dream were chasing" she is just so . jade harley . waiting for the fulfillment of her dreams and for the purpose she doesnt even know yet? but then . more grimbark vibes at the end. "the dogs came at midnight guns drawn and eyes bright i heard them laughing black voices scratching" as about . her. spooky silly evil dog girl .

jade harley.

[mojaves]

tagged by @bnbc @katsigian and @silverpixelcloud to do this THANK YOU!! <3 i love not shutting up

rules:

👻 post 5 facts about your oc

👻 go into the recent section of the #cyberpunk 2077 tag and rb some posts. and be nice. [i will do that when i am not afraid of people. dont worry about it. hold me at gun point if you must]

👻 tag people to keep the game going

who else would i talk about other than this fruit of a man.

1. he grew up as part of the valentinos, with his father taking him out on jobs at a very early age, which wasn't a very good idea - but he was the eldest child, and his father figured that getting him involved in gang business early would've been for the best. seb hated it, but was also thankful for it in a way, because it at least meant he could keep his younger siblings safe from as much harm as possible

2. he 'left' [see: got kicked out of] his family at 19, when he decided he didn't want to live the gang life forever, and wanted to work for a corp in order to get more money for his family. they [1000% just his father actually] shunned him pretty much immediately, and he was left to live alone on the streets for 2 years. he handled himself pretty well, using the skills he learned over the years to con people out of money and get by relatively unscathed.

3. i could go into sooo much more detail with all of that but then we'd all be here forever so basically; steals money from someone at arasaka, she is like whoa lol, gets him working at arasaka as an assistant, eventually becomes something of a bodyguard/intimidation device for people who worked there. they get married [not good], and then she cheats on him [with their boss [also not good]]

4. he understandably got angry bc of that, and when he threatened to quit, his boss beat the shit out of him and left him for dead in an alleyway, which is where his cyberjaw/neck cyberware comes from. the attack also left him with a prosthetic leg. if he was just some guy who left, none of that would've happened. but unfortunately he was a very important asset bc they were experimenting on him - drugs and other fun things that greatly improved his combat skills, and made him more useful. and if any of that info got out, everyone involved would've been greatly fucked over basically. and because they'd kind of fucked up by making him highly dangerous, the only option was to kill him. but that didn't go very well and now here we are 👍 i said i wasnt going to ramble but. anyway

5. and then from all of that, he slowly got back on his feet and became the leader of a small gang who mostly deals with fucking over corpos for people whos lives have been ruined by them - sometimes also helping corpos get revenge on each other, mostly bc it's always petty drama, it's funny, And they get a lot of money out of it. they also do security stuff on the side. because of their reputation amongst corpos, seb is often the target of assassination attempts, and always gets out of it unscathed. but he is currently being hunted down by a VERY stubborn merc who is the first guy in many years who has ever come close to killing him, so life is finally getting exciting for him again (^:< ehehehe

BONUS FACT HE HAS A CAT CALLED FRANKIE STROMBOLI

i. do not know when to shut up sorry <3 i need everyone to know everything about him. i do not know how to be concise. <3 not my problem now

ANYWAY i will tag uuhhhhhhhh. who has cyberpunk ocs. @aartyom @nuclearstorms get over here right now and yell about your guys. it said 5 people but i dont know 5 people. anyone who follows me and has cyberpunk ocs feel free to join in teehee. hii

[verminviscount]

ive been made aware that i have strong opinions on my personal ranking of percy jackson characters so im making a post about it. bc thats what we do here on tungle.hell. experiencing brain worms? spread the word. @garecc i invite you to include your own brain worms here

for those who may not know, which i expect is most of my followers here, Travis (garecc) and i go way back to the days of a trials of apollo discord server that has since crumbled under the weight of various discourse and does not exist at this time. so if anyone understands pjo brain rot, its him.

ONTO THE RANKING. ill be focusing on main characters bc if i include side characters we'll be here all day and Sally Jackson would be every character in this top 5.

1. Hazel Levesque. Deserves better in the eyes of fandom. Gained pretty good control over the mist within one book. Has a cool magic horse. Similar tragic backstory to Nico, but not sulking about it. No shame in sulking, but its cool to see someone go through bad shit and come out still feeling mostly okay.

2. Will Solace. Unfortunately for me, I haven't finished the trials of apollo series yet, so i dont know THAT much about Will as he's primarily a background character. But Apollo kids and medics both get my utmost respect and appreciation, always. and he's a little bit of a sarcastic little shit, but the kind where people dont get annoyed with you bc its almost always funny and lighthearted. i know from hearing people talk about tsats that he's also a Sad Boy (which is to be expected as a demigod, tragedy physically cannot leave you alone.), and im excited to read about someone with my personality go through a mental breakdown :D!

3. Frank Zhang. Listen to me. How can he not be this high up. I don't even know where to begin with this guy, he's so gods damned cool. He's just such a good character and a good dude too! I'd love to be his friend. What a sweetheart, iirc he was the only person at camp jupiter who wasnt freaked out by Nico? he's so nice. children of Ares/Mars are usually mean, and he's so nice. i love him so much. also his life force is connected to a chunk of wood, which is kinda neat. he's a legacy of poseidon. he's canadian. im pretty sure his first name is Westernized bc his grandma calls him Fai, my last name was westernized when my great grandparents came over so i sort of get it though not nearly to the same degree. I ALMOST FORGOT HE CAN SHAPESHIFT!!! DUDE what a cool guy. we gotta move on, i gotta cut myself off. give him more attention in your fan works

4. Nico di Angelo. obviously a fan favorite, but im talking canon Nico here. im not talking about an uwu soft emo boi. im talkin about a sarcastic, pessimistic, deeply insecure little dude. listen, im not gonna talk about the things i love about nico because its been said a million times. its nothing new. im just gonna say that i love reading about characters that go through awful awful trauma and still overcome and find joy on the other side.

5. Rachel Elizabeth Dare. so my impulse is to put Leo here bc i adored him when i first read HoO. and if i didnt really think about it, i wouldve put him. but... Rachel!! how can you not love her! a mortal lady who can see through the mist, she fought with a hairbrush, she's the liveliest and loveliest oracle of delphi camp halfblood has ever and will ever know, she’s from money and hates it, she's an activist, an artist, way more helpful than the last oracle for sure. the mummy in the attic just left you to fend for yourself, Rachel will at least try to help you interpret what a prophecy means. she's blunt and talks a mile a minute, i love seeing my "flaws" represented positively in media.

honorable mentions: Leo Valdez of course, easily my number 6 spot. Apollo/Lester, we love seeing immense character development. Grover Underwood, probably the first time i ever had a definitive favorite character. Percy Jackson and Annabeth Chase, romance would be dead and we wouldnt have a series without them.

[corneliastreetinramada]

podcast ep2: needed but still by nobody

:mostly, we all grew up ofc with friends and what may have you, now what im going to talk abt today, is being needed, but also needing people. i sometimes feel like im not needed id just like to make myself involved in peoples' issues, or thats what id think to myself, i always sense that they dont like me or need me anyway, but id still try. i just want to be needed but also i need them. i just force myself into people i think, thats why i feel guilty, awkward, uncomfortable with people that i dont know really well, sometimes with people i know well as well. i'd check up kn my friends when i feel somethings wrong with them, but i dont know if people really do the same with me, not until my issues been spread everywhere, then theyd check up, me, id like to take actions before my friends problem has been out in public, id like them to explain the issue to a friend perhaps me, so that they'd know someone is there to understand them, wish someone was like that to me anyway. me, id like taking this to the heart, burying it within myself, all of that because i know they have bigger problems on their own, they dont need my story of how my so-called partner played with my fkng feelings and how it affected me emotionally, they only saw my anger, not my sadness, i dont even think ive unpacked those emotions anyway, ive just learned to live with it, she did too, i think, who knows? ive blocked her anyway. but if my friends were going through somethinf they need to talk about, need to rant, ofc they can come to me. but sometimes i even think that they dont trust me, because im a gossip-y person, and that thought made me want to fkng get h*t by a fkng bus, ive failed my duty or responsobility as a friend to them, because of my fkng own selfish mistake.

i miss my friend, i do miss her, i mean i miss her when we started that friendship, there were only two of us through summer training, that all changed when the school year started, or even in the middle of that summer training, she moved on to make friendships with our seniors, whereas i was left well kind of alone. but she did grew to be better, wish she knew that. now the school year's soon to be done. i miss her. when we can talk about anything, anyone, whats going on with her or with me, now we rarely speak to each other in training, but i know she has to focus. she has a bright future to be an athlete, i know it, if the time was only longer ive wouldve spend more time with her much as i can, but thats stupid, she knows what i mean, i know what she means with little things we do. i do think im pushing her away, and i know its my own fault. not just physically bc shes transferring, pushing her away emotionally, and it hurts to think of the moments that i wasnt supportive with her delusionships, but i only did that for her better, thats what id like to think.

[thisdogpaystaxes]

i need u to come forward

i am listening to peripheral vision by turnover and i'm so fucking high and i know what you are saying and i am enamored. not that you'd listen to this album idrk your music always surprises me for some reason its exciting and the cutest thing. theres only two people this could be and i feel like you also would be sweet enough to randomly check my blog some time bc i mention it a lot bc it feels good to think and i'll read it when the time is right maybe.

im going insane a lot of this feels like im the most defensive human being on earth and i need to explain a lot. YES!

the kind of high where you can just fucking eat a bagel wit nothing. not even a little toast.

i was in my bathroom just peeing and i'm like really high and i'm getting over a really big cry i had to myself in my room like i was literally N O T! okay. nothing to talk about i just had a rly cute hypochondriac moment and freaked out xD this edible is fucking freaking me out. so like you know whatim feelingdude. the downplay is placed above this and im so sorry it took so long for you to get to the point, but im allowing myself to organize my thoughts so this will be direct at one point and wait i should test this. but also i need to THINK because im high and this is my diary and i want to think and im okay with people seeing what i think bc quite frankly i am always always thinking and working through shit and i understand people in weird ways.

back to the thing that u did.

i was pissing and i looked in my shower. so PINK. but it wasnt.. two days prior. flashback to my first shower when i got home from san diego and i was like, "shit this shower is not real." i was also high. maybe i am fucking insane. no i'm not no no no. lets talk. talk to me!!!!!

all of my bottles were slightly different. and the water felt different. i had an exquisite shower. and i didn't wash the pink off until after i shaved and exfoliated and washed my face and sighed and thought about why life is pain. i realized the shower was getting a little pinker and i ignored it. and duringthepart when i was fucking grabbing my shampoo, i noticed the shampoo i always keep in the corner because i only use it to wash my bangs and i did the day i left only. S showered after me and cleaned my bathroom once but it all got fucked because we had a party and got drunk and had a 9/11 in there so it was all cleaned while being an ineberiated vessel. L also is at my place a lot and she likes to clean.

so come forward. that is the fucking most beautiful thing and i literally can't explain to you how insane that is and i love you. but also if there was maybe someone in my apartment bc i actually had left a door open or someone did and i didnt notice? this is deflection i need to shut UP THATS FOR LATER FOR YOU

why did you rearrange all of my bottles when you knew iwouldn't see. i had a fucking social battery 9/11 that i needed to recover from like i needed to shower. you know i like being alone and that the shower is intimate. IT WAS HIDDDDDEEN.

it was really cute and i love you and i need to know who you are. like i cried my eyes out. it meant the world to me to see that. because its such a big message to do that to someone, and you know i personally wouldn't mind that in my shower. you know you're so fucking welcome to do that and theres ONLY TWO OF YOUS!!!!!

if it was anyone else i would probably sleep in a pool of vomit for a week

i dont know how to ask because i know this is a code thing but also im getting a little less high and im going to second guess this, but thats like intimate??? im not crazy. also if for some reason you both said yes id get violent......

i need to eat my sweet treat and watch degrassi, and you know i love you because im spending my. valuable alone time, before watching degrassi, to just decipher who it is because it was just gorgeous. am i crazy for being moved right now......... or do u get me. like u get it. i need to eat this croissant. idk how to ask this ill figure it out i need to digest my existence more. thanks that was cute like literally the e basis is like you cleaned my bathroom but like no you organized it like you would and that's cute i love seeing that i like that

[lovelylarrie]

.

[inoxske]

a few my hero academia headcanons (mostly kirishima, kiribaku, and bakusquad) (3rd year)

kirishimas laugh is a very wonderful sound that everyone fucking adores, so lots of people think hes flirting because he laughs a lot but he isnt lol

i believe all the bakusquad can sing but their all shy so they pretend to be really bad but theyre all closeted theater kids so when 'the room where it happened' from Hamilton played one night at karaoke night they all sang and hamonized and everyone freaked the fuck out

bakugo and denki cross dress because it makes them feel powerful and they are often seen in fashion magazines and shit

kirishima is best friends with bakugos parents and all of katsukis family adore eijirou

bakugo cries the second any kind of animal or child is hurt in movies

adding onto that ^ bakugo loves kids, more so as he gets older

kirishima will go to interviews for really important people, but because of his adhd he forgets important shit so he has to call bakugo while in the interview and ask and they always keep the clip because he always puts him on speaker

kirishima will put on classical music but like really nice music and dance with people in the dorms. hes danced with all the girls, and was caught slowdancing with katsuki once at like 3am on a saturday (aizawa cried like a little bitch)

all of 1a calls aizawa dadzawa by the time 2nd year rolls around. like, if someone calls him aizawa now he thinks hes in trouble or someone died or some shit.

kirishima can handle any kind of spice because one of his mamas is half latino and so he basically grew up with lots of spice. bakugo challenged him to a spicey wing eating thing and they ended up having to stop because bakugo ran out and threw uP BC HE WASNT GONNA LOSE OKAY

kirishima will escort young ladies home if they feel unsafe, or he will just scare the shit out of men who harass anyone

sero becomes super fucking popular with ladies like everyone thinks hes hot and he doesnt know why but like- BITCH- ..... he is so fine, next

bakugo and midoriya go to therapy together and work shit out. kirishima ends up having to go with bakugo to therapy a lot bc he says he gives him the courage to open up and not feel weak 🤨..... idk sounds kinda gay to me

a majority of class A has a mission near an animal shelter, and damage is done to the shelter and a really dangerous aggressive dog starts running at mina and bro this dog- this dog is fucking BIG like wolf big and out for BLOOD and is so loud and kiri, ya know, grew since first year and is now like a tank like 6"7 and 300 pounds of muscle and so he gets infront of mina and just goes "HEY!" in a really fucking deep like angry as shit voice and makes himself big and the bear of a dog immediately flinches and runs back into its kennel. and everyone kind of freezes and looks at him, and hes like "jeez, i didnt mean to be so loud" and bakugos like "oh no that was the hottest thing ive ever seen in my life" anyways

bakugo can cook, kirishima can bake

bakugo gets super bad sensory overload sometimes when hes had an especially bad experience with a quirk or something and will have meltdowns about his clothing or how sweaty he is, or how loud his quirk is and how bright it is and kirishima will help him. when it first happened everyone handled it really well, and turned off the lights, and momo made him a weighted blanket and noisecancelling shit and kirishima put his head on his chest to help him match his breathing and shit. v wholesome.

kirishima and bakugo got in a super big fight near the beginning of second year when bakugo was in a bad mood and called him weak again and kirishima blew up on him and told him how he wasnt gonna let katsuki walk all over him just because he feels insecure or weak or whatever and kirishima got super fucking pissed because bakugo got defensive and told him he shouldnt take it so seriously and that it was true and he needs to get stronger and kirishima was like fuck you, at least i admit i have some weaknesses to overcome, and some things that need to be fixed, and they were both hurt and shit but bakugo wouldnt apologize so he stopped talking to him for a while. and then kirishima kept teaming up with midoriya and working together and bakugo confronted him and was obviously trying not to cry and apologized and shit

^ adding onto that. kirishima is equals with bakugo, and will always be equals with bakugo. he never ever comes back crying first, and he always leaves bakugo alone until he apologizes. thats called being partners bitch, and bakugo tries his best. they barely ever argue, unless its about mac and cheese or some shit

kirishima loves calling bakugo pet names, and bakugo will absolutely never admit to anyone it makes him feel like the strongest person alive, but he will to kirishima

kirishima called bakugo "puppy" once while he was sleepy and bakugo broke down crying because he didnt know why it made him feel so nice. kirishima felt horrible. they werent even dating yet 💀

when minas bored she'll teach one of the boys a dance and make a tiktok with them. bakugo is surprising good at dancing.

bakugo, kaminari, and kirishima are the absolutely fucking hilarious when left alone together.

bakugo is super innocent so everyone will ask him random questions at the most random times just to see his whole body blush red and he turns into a grandma, like "bakugo how do lesbians have sex" and hes like "WH- WHAT THE- EW!!! GROSS I DONT KNOW! WHY WOULD YOU ASK ME THAT!!! YUCKY!!!"

bakugo has to have braces for a year and then wears a retainer and kirishima likes it alittle too much while everyone else thinks he looks fucking stupid

denki will go wake up aizawa and sleep in his bed when he gets sick or has a nightmere. present mic will make denki breakfast if he comes to the dorms to find his spot taken.

mina and bakugo are barbz, and so is kirishima just much more on the DL.

kirishima and bakugo can talk telepathically by the time they get to 3rd year, so they always make up the best excuses. also they have really weird nicknames that only they get. kirishima did make the mistake of joking around and saying he wants to be called big daddy boss man and bakugo wouldnt cook for him until he had a written apology.

bakugo really loves cuddling but doesnt know how to ask for it so he just acts like a cat and headbuts kiri and sits on him angrily until he gets the message.

[heyitsyn]

Keeping Up With Seijoh Ep. ∞

a/n: this made me tear up a bit ngl bc haikyuu always hitting us with ‘theres no next year for us’ typa bull like BLS TAKE PITY ON MY SOUL AND STOP TIME AND KEEP MY BOYS TOGETHER :(((((((

it has an infinity symbol bc this is in the future so there isnt really an episode number 

for more seijoh content, check this masterlist out!

anon:

the third years coming back to seijoh the following year for a surprise visit, and watching over practice cuz they were in town for break. being impressed on how kyo has calmed down (a bit), kunimi actually giving a sh-, yknow the deal. just the growth of their kouhai makes them 🥺🥺 but THEN- Y O U walk in with the team’s bottles n the small gasp that comes out of your mouth when you see them. they GAWK cuz you’re maturing SO well (stfu oikawa- my eyes up are here) and just 🥺🤲

SO LIKE UNLESS YOURE NEW TO MY BLOG YOU KNOW THIS FINNA BE A SAD ONE BC SEIJOH THIRD YEARS ARE MY FAVORITE BOIS AND THEM GRADUATING MAKES ME :(

oh god here comes the tears

so

it was something you knew was coming since yanno, third years and all that

but you were so sure you had more time left before it happened

didnt you just join the team and met them like yesterday?

nope love you met nearly a year ago

and they made quite an impact on you in the short term you were together

so during the day of graduation

it wasnt really a school day since it was mostly for third years and the whole ceremony but kouhais could come so they could send off their senpais

you already called each third year the night before, nearly 2 hours per boy, to talk to them and cry with them so you didnt have to cry during the day

but ofc

you were sobbing already when you saw your captain walk up and get his tube with the diploma inside

they tried to remain strong as they sat in their seats but a single glance at you and the team at the stands above, the tears were already either forming or full out slipping

i know yall finna beat me up for this but im not really familiar with the other third years in the team bc theyre not really shown in the anime or manga that much so i dont have a good grip on their character so can we pls pretend theyre not in here?? omg pls dont kill me though

the ceremony felt like a long time for the seniors but when it was finally over, they ran out of that building and yall did too and you bolted yourself into the arms of your captain

oikawa held you tightly against him and he didnt care about being seen by his fangirls, who were waiting outside for him, or the others who wanted to have you to them too

‘i love you, y/n-chan’

he mumbled and you nodded

‘mhm. i love you too, oikawa-san. i love all my boys’

YALL MY HEART IS BREAKING BC OIKAWA ACTUALLY MEANT IT THIS TIME AND YOURE STILL OVER HERE THINKING THAT HES JUST SAYING IT AS A FRIEND LIKE IM-

iwa ripped you away from him and your face was buried into his chest

but it didnt last long since the others got a little impatient and just joined the hug turning it into a group hug

‘i dont want you to leave!’

kindaichi sobbed and kunimi sniffled, holding on tighter to the backs of his senpais

even kyo was sad but hes a tuff boy so he easily hid that behind his usual frown and glare

after seeing their parents and reassuring them they would be home soon, you started your trek towards your usual hang out spot

the second and first years were walking ahead of you while the third years fell back in step with you in between them

mattsuhana flanked your left while iwaoi were at your right

the tears were now gone but sniffles still filled the area and everyone was still down in their spirits

you held tightly to the warm big hands of iwaizumi and the soft touch of mattsun’s hand as if you were clutching your life-line

but you knew no matter how tightly you held on to them, they would still go and eventually leave you behind

the ramen shop was filled with another round of tears as everyone realized that this would be the last time seijoh og would have ramen here

‘WE DONT WANT YOU TO GOOO~~~~!!!!!!’

kindaichi sobbed while kunimi aggressively shoved noodles in his mouth to hide his hiccups

you refused to eat because you were so sad that you were scared you might end up throwing it all up later so you settled on relishing your time with the boys

oikawa was busy talking to yahaba and telling him tips and tricks for next year while iwaizumi was consolling the others who were crying

that left you to harshly wipe off the tears and focus on the jokes that matsuhana were telling to help and lighten up the mood

‘think of it like this! you won’t have oikawa and iwaizumi fighting anymore!’

well,,,,,

that kinda made things worse

geez makki stfu!!!!

you bursted into full tears and you sobbed, loudly and freely

‘WAAAAAHHHH!!!!!’

you wheezed and then continued to cry

everyone flinched and got startled at the sight of you crying

theyve seen you cry before but not this intensely and sadly 

‘DONT GO!!! OU-OUR FAMILY’S GONE!! ITS B-BROKEN NOW!!!!’

you wailed

everyone is so used to seijoh antics that they didnt even bat an eyelash when everyone started crying

‘damn it, i was trying not to cry!’

iwa growled and buried his face into his hands to hide the pain in his eyes

‘come here, y/n-chan’

mattsun cooed while sobbing and you went straight into his arms and his arms tightly wounded around you

he pressed kisses on your neck to calm you and he whispered promises to keep you from thinking that you would be alone

the boys were all still crying even when you paid for them and at the exit, everyone wouldnt let go of each other

ngl it was a weird sight of seeing these boys just hanging on and hugging the others and you were tightly pressed against makki’s chest 

‘dont cry, y/n-chan. we’ll be here, always. just a 4-hour ride to tokyo’

he promised but you shook your head

‘--too far’

you mumbled and he was able to make out a few words and he laughed

‘i swear you’ll see us in a few hours’

it took a few words of assurance from makki and eventually mattsun and iwa joined

oikawa stayed back because he already wanted to walk you home and iwa knew you were the one that was the hardest for oikawa to tell his plans to

waving them good bye, you fussed and made sure everyone was not crying anymore

‘you text me the moment you get home, all right? and kyo-san, let the food in your stomach settle before-’

‘before i take a bath-yea i know’

he rolled his eyes but he smiled lightly before hugging you

‘go home now, y/n’

he pushed you towards his captain but you pulled away one last time to give each boy a kiss on the cheek

their lips trembled, especially the third years, and wanted to keep their tears in but they rocket launched to space

yanno that one part in season 1 when kiyoko told them to work hard and then they just snot-rocketed and cried

oikawa interlaced your fingers as you both walked towards your house and it was quiet

you were sus bc it was too quiet and oikawa would usually be either skipping, humming a tune, or just yapping his ass off

but right now

he was quiet, slouchy, and,,,, not oikawa

you looked up to see his face and you knew it wasnt just the graduating part

it was like,,,, he was nervous

you squeezed his hand and that got his attention

‘oikawa-san, whats wrong?’

he suddenly stopped and your linked hands caused you to also stop so you watched him stare down at his shoes and you blinked at him in confusion

‘oika-’

‘y/n, tell me to stay’

he,,, sounded like he was begging

pleading

desperate to hear you say it

‘why should i?’

you asked and he finally lifted his eyes to stare into your eyes

he gulped before further explaining himself 

‘coach got me a volleyball scholarship’

he whispered and your eyes widened before you launched into him for a hug and pulled back to cup his face

‘oh my god! tooru! a scholarship?! im so proud-’

‘in argentina’

he finished and your eyes dimmed, the lifted corners of your lips falling into a frown

‘o-oh’

you stuttered and pulled your hands away but he grabbed them, placing them back to his face 

‘but if you dont want me to go, i wont-’

‘NO! what?! tooru, its your dream! you and iwa-san wouldnt stop talking about that match with argentina and-and you want to go there! dont you dare let that slip away!’

you scolded frantically however oikawa’s face scrunched before he started crying

‘i-i can’t! y/n, i’ll be alone! its so far away! far from iwa, far from you-’

then you reached to your tippy toes and kissed his nose then leaned back with a big smile

‘no matter how far, ill always be right here. im always going to be here, waiting for you’

you mumbled and oikawa hiccuped then leaned his forehead against yours, eyes clashing that was so full of love and fear

‘then dont you worry, y/n-chan. oikawa-senpai will work really hard and he will come back and make you happy’

he whispered and you pulled him even closer to give him the biggest hug

‘im looking forward to it’

TIMESKIPTIMESKIPTIMESKIPTIMESKIP

ONEYEARONEYEARONEYEARONEYEAR

truth to be told with guilty conscience, the third years havent really been in touch

yes theyve called and messaged but there wasnt a normal kind of communication, especially with oikawa

but they decided to go over there during a simultaneous week break for universities in tokyo and iwa, makki, and mattsun pressured oikawa to fly back to japan just for a week to visit

‘iwa-chan im so broke righ-’

‘fine, we’ll see y/n ourselve-’

‘OKAY FINE! HERE! IM BUYING THE TICKET NOW SEE?!’

bahahaha im sorry i love oiks so much its not even funny

they agreed to not tell anyone, even coach, to surprise you all and to see your faces of surprise bc mattsuhana are little shites and they love to mess around

it was a normal day during practice

yahaba was teaching some first years how to serve while watari was giving exercising tips on how to bend their knees without shrieking in athritis

kyotani was doing jump serves while kindaichi and kunimi tried to block him

it was a normal day

the former third years knew the ins and outs of the place and oikawa still had his keys of the gym since he never gave it back so they were easily able to sneak in

they sat on the bleachers and observed everyones growth which really blew them away and took them aback by how much they improved in little time

like kunimis actually huffing and throwing a mini tantrum bc hes so into it and hes mad he didnt get that block right

they also noticed the larger amount of new recruits and based on their practice, it looks like they would be in good hands for the next few years

however, the true shock settled in when this happened

kyotani cursed loudly when the ball hit out but yahaba scolded him for saying a bad word in front of the first years

‘kyotani, dont say that anymore! its not good to teach the babies bad words!’

he ranted and the college boys shared a look of caution and fear, bracing themselves for kyotani’s normal screaming and tantrum for being called out

but they were the most surprised when the bleach-haired boy simply glared at him and turned away to go pick up another ball to hit

‘did,,,, did kyoken-chan-’

‘was he just calm right now?’

‘oh my god iwa-chan kyoken-chan got abducted by aliens!’

I SWEAR TO GOD ITS LIKE THE CURRENT THIRD AND SECOND YEARS GOT AN OIKAWA ‘IWA-CHAN’ SENSOR BECAUSE THE MOMENT HE SAID THAT, THEIR EARS TWITCHED AND THEY JUST KNEW

THEIR SENPAIS WERE HERE

their eyes were wide and their attention snapped towards the bleachers where indeed, their 4 fathers sat

‘OIKAWA-SAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!’

kindaichi screamed and he NYOOMED towards the stairs but kunimi grabbed him by the collar

‘come down here, senpais!’

yahaba urged and coach and naoi shared a look of initial shock but then transformed into happiness

it was nice to see the family together again

they quickly turned into a dog pile with the hugs that were given around like kyotani actually giving iwaizumi a hug and makki and mattsun affectionately ruffling everyone’s hair

the other first years were just staring in awe at the legendary third years of seijoh that theyve heard so much about

‘everyone, these are your seniors!’

yahaba presented and the 3 third years became very flustered but ofc attention whore oikawa soaked it up

‘yes, hello, my little disciples! you are my legacy so work har- IWA-CHAN!’

he was cut into his famous line when his best friend bonked him for being too self-absorbed again

‘waaa, l/n-senpai was right’

some first year mumbled at the scene and their ears perked up at the name

‘l/n?’

‘where is she?! y/n-chan!’

oikawa shouted and looked around

BECAUSE OF FATE

YOU AUTOMATICALLY MANIFESTED THERE

‘YES YOU CALLED’

okay no but you actually walked in just in time, carrying the crate of water bottles, focused on not dropping them so you didnt really see the others

they were silent not because they wanted to mess with you and see how long youd figure out that they were there

no

they were silent because of how BEAUTIFUL you became

you gained a few inches and your hair is now longer with your baby fat slowly melting away and you were also finally showing your growth with your body

the eyes that used to gleam with childish innocence was now mature and poised like a perfect lady

even the way you walked with a crate made it seem like a ballet performance with the grace at every step and the flowery aura you exuded

you have turned from a ridiculously cute and pretty girl to a beautiful goddess

AND YOU WERE ONLY IN YOUR SECOND YEAR HOW THE HELL ARE THEY SUPPOSED TO HANDLE IT WHEN YOURE FINALLY A THIRD YEAR?!

CAN YOU IMAGINE THE AMOUNT OF BOYS THEY HAVE TO WARD OFF?!

‘my god’

iwaizumi mumbled, flushing red and turning away to hide his fluster

‘beautiful’

oikawa whispered and he gulped, not remembering how strikingly attractive you are

‘have mercy’

makki whined softly, clutching his heart as it started beating fast and made his stomach feel all funny

did they act like this back in the day?

mattsun doesnt have control so he ran forward and you were just putting the crate down when you were lifted off of the floor and twirled around

so like yahaba waved off the others to go back to practice so its like not awkward to be standing around and see this happening

there was only one person who did this to you

‘mattsun-san?!’

you shrieked and you giggled happily as he put you down so you were able to hug him properly and eventually, catching sight on the others behind him

your gasp made them smile widely and you pressed a hand to your mouth to hide the shock and your overjoyed laugh

if they could take a picture of this and remember the amount of love your eyes held and the pure unfiltered happiness that swirled in those orbs

it was like they felt themselves falling in love with you all over again

‘oh my god everyone’s here too!’

you ran to them and jumped at the awaiting arms of iwaizumi and he was still the bara arm babie you remembered

‘i missed you, doll’

he whispered

‘hmmm,,,i missed you more’

he let you go and you skipped over to makki who engulfed you in his arms and you felt his soft brown hair because you remembered he loved it when you ran your fingers through his hair

‘youve grown! so much! you got even more beautiful!’

he exclaimed and you giggled, bashful at his compliment

‘hmm~, no i didnt’

he gave you a deadpan look and you chuckled before scurrying away towards the one you wanted to hug the most

he definitely got more toned and he got taller too

you didnt have any time to react since he grabbed you and squished you against him

‘youre here, oikawa-san’

he nuzzled his head against your neck

‘mhm, im here now, y/n-chan’

he placed a kiss on your nose and you scrunched your face but there was a big smile that was clear

then oikawa’s eyes trailed from your face to your,,, ahem,,, girls

‘jesus, y/n-chan really grew, huh’

he complimented and you blinked confusingly before trailing after his eye’s gaze and it landed on your chest and you punched him

‘urusai, oikawa-san! my eyes are up here! youre so perverted. pervert oikawa-san’

you pouted and moved to seek comfort in the arms of makki

‘hmm, oikawa’s perverted as usual. i think it got worse with all those argentinian women’

makki teased and mattsun joined to poke fun at their captain

oikawa whined and told iwa they were making fun of him to which his own best friend betrayed him and starting teasing him too

you simply watched on and your eyes watered, your sniffles catching their attention

‘eh? why are you crying, y/n-chan?’

oikawa asked while approaching you to wipe your tears with his thumbs

but you shook your head with a teary smile

‘n-nothing-just,,,, i missed you guys. an-and im so happy because its like our f-family’s back together and i just-i-’

you cried but it was out of happiness and their hearts warmed

ofc they felt guilty because they were aware that they werent as in touch as they shouldve been so you probably felt lonely and casted aside without any contact from your boys

but they know now to make sure you feel loved and cared for because as you keep saying, they were your boys

they were a family

seijoh is a family 

and you love them 

but they love you more

a/n: okay im sorry this is probably trash and all over the place and im crying and stressing but ive been writing in between my college alg homework and its been so hard like WHY IS NUMBERS SO HARD LIKE WHAT-?! but this has kinda been the baby of my break time and relaxing few minutes bc i procrastinate too much and i want to do something i like before i actually go insane and i promise PROMISE that once everything is cleared up i will edit this and im already working on the other requests so expect a few to be out by the end of the week or something like that!!

[piratadelamor]

sometimes i wish i could move to somewhere far away from here and start a new life only to run away from the decisions i've made and the path i've chosen and to not have to deal with everyone else's disappointment

sometimes i wish i didnt have an intelectual job bc i just cant put myself to study and i hate university i hate graduating i cant stand it anymore and i feel like the dumbest person in the world and i feel like such a huge failure

all my friends are so smart and they are building big careers and they've always had this path paved for them bc they were born into intelectual families but i dont come from the same place as them and sometimes i wish i could just do a part time job on something like customer service and enjoy the rest of my life doing things i actually like for pleasure

this is so unrealistic and i hate this so much i wish i was smart i wish i could focus on studying i wish i wasnt living like im constantly trying to escape from my responsibilities all the time

i love being a teacher but im so fucking frustrated bc i will never become the teacher i wish to be if i dont study properly

i still have so many shit to do this year in order to graduate and i feel like im gonna break down so hard bc im so late to do everything i need and i dont have the energy for it i just dont have ANY motivation im tired of my life im tired of graduation i just wanna rest

i even chose the easiest way to get this degree and i cant even do shit with it like how much of a useless piece of shit can i be. im such a loser im such a big fucking loser i hate myself i really wish i could move somewhere else and get a customer service job and not have to deal with everyone else looking down on me. im tired of only having friends so much richer than me im tired of only listening to stories about things i cant accomplish im tired of seeing them and never becoming like them im tired of their success and of my failures im tired of having dreams and goals that dont belong to my own reality bc i only received an education for people who already had everything so i was only taught to dream so high and what if i dont fucking care about any of this shit? what if my happiness doesnt fit their idea of happiness? there are people i admire there are professionals that inspire me there is a kind of life i imagine i'd be happy to live but everything seems just. so so so far away from me. sometimes i wish i went to a public school as i should've gone, sometimes i wish i didnt had got that scholarship, i wish i didnt have to spend ALL MY ENTIRE LIFE feeling left out and behind and feeling like i was so much less than everyone else, i wish i didnt have to grow up thinking so poor of my own family bc it didnt have the money the stability the houses that my friend's families had, i wish i didnt have to study at a place that humiliated me daily for not being like them, i wish i had found friends that were more like me people i could identify with, i live my life always feeling like i dont belong anywhere i go and im so fucking tired of it, im never enough for these places im never enough for these people

i'll never be the person they taught me i should be they taught me i should dream of becoming

it would be great to be like that but maybe that's not my life maybe that's not something i can actually accomplish maybe that's not who i am

i really wanted to be a teacher but maybe this big elite school and maybe this big elitist city are too much for me. i'll just never be good enough

i cant work myself to be good enough

i cant pick up a fucking book and read bc im too busy trying to find sources of pleasure that cover up all the holes i have on me, bc im always so exhausted i just wanna rest and sleep, bc i fucked up my brain and i cant concentrate on anything anymore, and i fucked up my brain so bad bc i was SO. FUCKING. SAD. AND. ALONE. and i spent all my fucking time on a fucking screen

while my friends were going to theatre classes and dance classes and art classes and studying other languages and going to their beach houses and practicing sports and traveling abroad and having healthy and happy family meetings and learning the piano the guitar the violin

i love my friends but i cant fucking stand this bc all my entire life i wanted to be like them and now im 26 and well im starting to think that maybe this will never ever fucking happen

and maybe if i didnt grow up like this maybe if i didnt have such high expectations maybe if i hadnt lived with all this pressure maybe i'd be ok with working harder. bc i'd be doing it from my own standards. bc i wouldnt be constantly comparing myself to people who live in a completely different reality than mine.

i feel like i dont even have anyone i cant talk about this bc i feel like this is about everyone i could talk to and none of them would understand

im just so sad man im really really sad here. im tired of telling myself i should be grateful for that scholarship and ignore all the shit it made me feel and the way it cursed my whole fucking life but i just cant fucking escape from it

[xnchxntmxnt]

Hello, my name is Ghost and I'd like to put in for an Ouran matchup please (if you have any slots left). I'm genderfluid, use any pronouns, and I'll date anyone regardless of gender. I'm on the shy side when I first meet someone and don't talk very much to anyone I don't know, but once I'm comfortable I open up and share my interests and other things about myself. Although, even if I don't know someone well I always make a considerable effort to be incredibly polite and kind to them because I don't know if someone is already having a bad day and I don't want to make it any worse. I'm definitely the mom friend of my group and always carry first aid supplies, snacks, water, a blanket, and fidget toys. I love music and can't go a day without using my headphones. I can play the drums but I'm a bit rusty since I haven't played in a year or two and I also play some piano and am working to learn more. I've been in choir since I was a little kid and love to sing but I have too much stage fright to perform alone. I have a naturally deeper singing voice despite being AFAB. I'm also very into cooking, baking, mythology, reading and writing. I'm starting college a semester late as biology major with emphasis on zoology as I love animals and would want to be a veterinarian at zoo that's involved in conservation efforts. I hope you have a lovely rest of your day and remember to eat, drink some water, and take any meds if you need to. ❤

aaa this took forever im sorry i got super busy after i put out the thing for these but ANYWAY its done now

also the name ghost is so cute what <3 idk why i love it though

kaoru hitachiin!

do u know how long it took me to find a picture without his brother and im still not 100% sure i have the right one— anyway

mom friend. perfect. he needs one.

mans a royal mess

we know this

honestly i think his first impression of you was. he was probably excited to see someone who wasn't so into the whole act he and hikaru do and just liked talking to him

he also saw the shyness and (whenever hikaru wasnt around) let himself be a little more genuine, which meant he was less flirty and more soft with you

im getting lots of accidentally bushing hands and gentle conversations over tea at the beginning vibes

once you're comfortable around each other though?? that changes a little

yell at him to eat breakfast bc he'll get busy and wont (or jsut doesnt feel like getting up some days)

he'll do the same to you of course

mutually taking care of each other <3

you might always have stuff, but anything you forget, he seems to have

need a hair tie? he's got it. Forgot an extra bottle of water for yourself? he's got one (or knows where to get one)

he loves to buy things for you but not like. super fancy extravagant gifts. he likes doing chill and not necessarily inexpensive things, but he likes showing up with your favorite snack or "i saw this stuffed animal and thought you'd like it so here" kinda vibes

if that makes sense at all

he LOVES sharing music with you

please give him your other earbud and lean your head on his shoulder on long car rides

he loves it so much

he loves getting to know you through music because music can honestly be so intimate

make him a playlist. its the best gift you can give him

make him several playlists

he loves when you do that and listens to them all

on loop

he'll make you playlists too you guys are just exchanging them all the time

he likes listening to you play too whether its drums or piano or anything else you pick up

he just enjoys seeing you have fun w it

dont get me started on how much he likes listening to you sing

swoons

every time

he's so in love

anything youre into he immediately just. finds as much information as he can about it

he loves listening to you rant about mythology and stuff like that

maybe you're reading a new book

the moment he gets you to spit out the title and author he's scrolling through google trying to find little trivia about it

this is of course so when you talk about it he can be excited about it with you

this happens a lot

half the time he'll end up just reading the book

and if its a series? good luck.

you two WILL be up until 2am or later finishing the last book because you have to see how it ends

overall wholesome. 10/10 would reccomend

[wheezingghoulbois]

Hi remember the anon who want to vent about steven? Thats me. I knew it was really long ago. But i lose my patience now. You dont have to read this now if you are in a bad mood.

I just knew people hate steven so much that they keep reminding him of what he had done even thought he already apologize.

First of all i wont fucking fight them if people still cant forgive steven. Thats their opinion and their opinion alone. But DONT GO OUT TO PEOPLE SCREAMING " HEY REMEMBER WHEN STEVEN IS HOMOPHOBIC DONT SUPPORT HIM HAHA IM FUNNY JOKE"

When shane and ryan have a shows, alot of this people are supportive. Hecc they give all the love they can give. And people who love steven shows stays in silence and be respectful.

Yet when steven shows arrive, they DID NOT HESITATE FOR REMINDING PEOPLE OF HIS PAST MAKING JOKES LEFT AND RIGHT CALLING HIM THE FUCK OUT

LIKE FOR FUCK SAKE SHUT THE FUCK UP LET ME ENJOY MY COMFORT SHOW IN PEACE WHILE YOU WAIT FOR YOURS.

And also the not put pronoun on steven bio, what if steven is not cis and steven just wait for the right moment? What if their hate makes him even MORE PRIVATE about his identity. They never fucking know. Ryan probably tell his friends about the pronoun things. Its a big deal. And ryan cares. Im not saying steven is not cis, im saying its always been a posibility.

This years have been damn fucking hard for steven let that man catch a break.

People keep fucking asking why there is so many people leaving watcher fandom. Well guess what its was their own fucking fandom.

Fuck me up, if you all, kind and decent human being, want to make a steven support week. i want to be in.

Hello again friend! When I said feel free to rant about Steven, I meant it so thanks for this 💖

I hope the people are so unsupportive of Steven realize he is one of the main reasons watcher was able to get started? To actually function? Like you don’t have to like him I guess but if you like watcher at all, you should realize if Steven WASNT part of it, it’d never have been what it is today, and you have to respect his impact on not just his own shows, but all of them. He helps run post-production on shows that arent his. Meaning one of the reasons shows like tms are so funny and good is bc Steven helps oversee the editing to make sure it’s funny and good. Like if ppl hate Steven so much, I’d like to see them try to boycott anything steven’s worked on. Because news flash- he helps work on almost all of it.

Bullying Steven has become a common pastime for some people in this fandom, and it’s just gross at this point tbh. Like you don’t support Watcher if you don’t support Steven evnough to give him basic human decency. And you’re not letting people own up to their mistakes and try and do better, which Steven has done. Your favs are never going to be perfect, you just have to hope they have the ability to recognize mistakes and attempt to become better.

I’ve actually discussed a Steven appreciation week multiple times with ppl. I’ve literally had that idea since the first couple months of running this blog actually lmao bc even then Steven was always under appreciated. I’ll have to try to talk to some ppl again but my friends and I have tried to make this happen before, and I know we’ll put one together soon enough 💖