#so i’m just here mildly freaking out in spanish

[still-got-no-idea]

No mames porque soy así

Claro, es que- no se

No se nada de porque es tan difícil a decir ‘no’

No se nada de eso!

Bueno, ahora tengo dos biblias

NO QUIERO HACER ESO PERO JAIFSINASJKNFAJKFNSJA

SE VEAN MIS ZAPATOS QUE ESTAN GAY Y ESO ES COMO SE HACE?????

Ahora tengo algo para leer, pero todavía wey

[aurorialwolf]

Y’all ever heard of epigenetics?

Okay, mildly (though some not) angsty parent!Darlin and parent!Sam headcanons for what their kid would be like (focusing on ages 15-19)

So; for starters, the name I chose for my lil guy, the son of Sam and Darlin, is Samuel Jr. Sylvester Collins-Barrera (Barrera being the last name I hc for my Darlin)

Also, my hc for Darlin is that they’re half or fully Mexican and can speak Spanish fluently

Gonna start off with average character stuff

- Everyone his age calls him Samuel, some of the older pack call him Junior, to differentiate from his father

- He’s fluent in Spanish, lies about it though to take a Spanish class to breeze through a couple credits for high school

- Now, this one depends on what mood I’m in, but he’s either a Freelancer or a Shifter before he gets turned (more on that later), orrr if I’m feeling real funky and wanna ignore some canon lore I make him a bit of a hybrid, able to shift but quite adept at freelancer magics

- Him and Darlin’ spar, so his combat ability is honed to the point of them being evenly matched by the time he’s 19, but he can never quite defeat them in a match

- When he gains access to his magic at 13, Sam teaches him some small magic, and starts teaching him healing, which he picks up quickly

- Eventually specializes in healing, with a minor in illusions and dabbles in elemental magic at D.A.M.N. (This is in the further future though so this isn’t in a timeline order or anything)

- He shifts accidentally for the first time at home with Sam, 3 days after the solstice, not a very fun experience :(, and Darlin isn’t home, so Sam kinda freaks out cuz he doesn’t know what to do

- Not going to discuss the other pack kid headcanons here much (different post perhaps?) but basically, David has a son, and Samuel (the kid I’m talking about in this post) has a crush on him (him being the son of David)

- Vivienne, Vincent’s daughter, and him are very close, both being kids of clan-less vampire parents, so they can relate to each other the most

- He’s just as much of a vigilante as Darlin was, which makes his parents very worried, but he can heal himself, and use magic, helping him be better off in fights

Okay, now for the angst!! Yay :D

- He and David argue a lot about his reckless actions, leading him to distance himself from David and act similarly to how Darlin did, albeit relying on the general pack much more

- This one requires a small explanation; in my headcanon of how kids of vampires work (since they kinda can’t reproduce in canon etc idk it’s weird), they still inherit the current blood of their vampire parent, as well as their parents original blood (I did take a bio class so ik it would prob be only their old blood bc of genes and gametes but it’s cooler this way lol), and if their parent’s blood is from a very strong old-blood, it can affect the child adversely when they reach the age of unlocking their magic

- Sooooo because Samuel Jr. has Solaire blood, he’s turned by his own blood trying to take over the rest of his body when he’s 15, and basically dies!! Coming back as a vampire ofc

- And this is massively depressing for Sam, like majorly,, because as his son dies in his arms he tries his best to heal him and fails, not to mention he’s now the reason his son has lost the same freedoms Sam did many years ago :(

- In my headcanon of how this works with being turned early and stuff I think Samuel Jr. continues to age until he’s physically about 19 ish

- Ofc Samuel is bitter asf and says some super vitriolic stuff to Sam, temporarily severely harming their relationship, though they make up afterwards

- While in bloodlust, Sam and Darlin try bringing him to pack stuff still, but he’s a danger to non-vampires, making things difficult

- David eventually starts to get protective of the pack, seeing him as a possible threat (does it get dehumanizing? Yeah a little bit) but David’s son doesn’t care, and hangs around Samuel even though it’s dangerous, letting him drink his blood

- At one pack event David can’t find Samuel or his son and gets a bit panicky, even though he tries to hide it, and gets Sam, eventually they find them both, David’s son (who is the same age as Samuel, my guy ain’t feeding on a child dw 🥲) sitting on a bed playing a game on his phone, with Samuel calmly drinking from his wrist

- David is confused and a little frustrated, but his son explains that Samuel still has enough control, and that just because he’s been turned doesn’t mean he should be outcasted even during bloodlust (though he’s a little bit wrong because Samuel really is a danger but yk,, it’s ok Samuel is trying really hard to be careful around him bc he still has the crush from when they were kids)

- David cares about Samuel I promise 🥲 but he’s very concerned for the general well-being of the pack

- Samuel, being a stubborn guy just like both his parents, refuses to accept that he’s a vampire and is unable to enter sunlight and does some.. very reckless experiments, essentially running into sunlight at pack gatherings when no one’s looking and having to be dragged back by one of the nearby shifters

- Eventually he finds a weird way to alter his own core with a lot of magic, but he’s not really altering it, it’s more like his core never fully changed because he only had >49% Solaire blood so it didn’t have full effect (that does mean Vincent’s daughter got fully turned though 😔) so he can oddly change between forms, still having many disadvantages ofc (mary sue? Nooooooooo why would I do that :3 I just like multi-faceted powerful folks yeeeup) like sensitivity to sunlight, and a hard limit on how long he can retain his humanity (he can seem totally human / a shifter / a freelancer for about 2 hours until his hold on the magic keeping his core the right way slips)

- So once he’s around 17 he’s got a good hold on his magic, having reaccessed it after his experiments when he was 16 ish

- ..this does mean he’s a pretty crazy fighter now after a while of practice

Nowwwww who remembers me mentioning epigenetics way at the beginning of this lol (I promise I’m almost done but he’s my favourite redacted oc 😞)

- Fair warning this may imply that Darlin has the ability to birth so erm if that isn’t your cup of tea that’s totally okay and you can ignore this bit

- Basically Darlin’s epigenetics are passed onto him, and he has some major mental baggage because of it, being far more prone to mental health problems :(

TW: ALCOHOLISM

- He also copes very unhealthily with his problems by drinking, so much so that he swears off alcohol and stays sober when he’s only 20 and still can’t drink legally (in the US at least) :((

tw over it’s ok to read now

Okay okay that’s it for now I know I blabbered so much just now immm sorrryyyyy 😞

I will be posting more because there is a lot more to this little canon divergent thingy of mine !! Been having this in my brain for almost two years now but felt it was too.. idk.. self indulgent? Cuz I made him a littleeee too powerful and cool 😔 but I give him disadvantages so it’s ok ✅!!

[rigelmejo]

notes to myself basically, on how i study languages (so far, there’s always gonna be better ways i don’t know of yet lol):

learn 500-1000 common words asap, read a grammar guide that provides overview asap - like the first 3 months. If a full grammar guide doesn’t exist that’s concise (hi japanese ;-;) find a basics grammar guide at least and read that (pimsleur, websites, genki, tae kim, youtube). Specifically within the common words, at least look at the ‘300 common word tumblr to say things’ language vocab list. That list is good for me starting some kind of active vocab/expressing ideas.

if its got a different writing system, look up the alphabet in 1st month (kana for japanese, cyrillic alphabet for russian etc, pinyin for chinese). listen to pronunciation guides, and write and/or mnemonics to learn those asap.

if its got characters (like chinese, japanese), learn 300-500 super common characters ASAP (first 5 months). 

After month 3, learn up to 2000 common words (hi srs flashcard programs like anki and memrise, common word lists, graded readers), and up to 2000 characters. Not all these need to be done with srs flashcards/focused study, but get TO recognizing this many as soon as u can. Goal is get to this by month 8-10. But depending on how much i can overall understand without doing this, i may not learn All of these words by then (but ideally i should).

By 500-1000 words (and 500+ characters if needed), so after 3-5 months, start trying to immerse in what I WANT to do - so reading, watching (maybe listening, maybe games). I don’t have to do it much, but do it a bit to remember what I learned and also motivate myself to study more.

Months 5-8 somewhere between 1000-2000 words, start trying to write/say basic things to myself or on apps with others. Probably will be a mess, don’t have to do it much. Do it enough to have motivation to study more - see where I’m lacking skills. I may need more grammar explanation, or more vocab, or notice a big issue in my pronunciation etc.

Around month 8-10, around 2000+ words studied (although it may be less or more depending on what I’m comfortable with), ramp up immersion a lot. As soon as its mildly tolerable, ramp it up a LOT. Look up words when immersing as often or not often as desired, goal is to always follow at least the bare minimum main idea (and more details if possible/if I wanna put in the effort to look more up). Now I can start learning new words primarily from this. 

Reading skills - during immersion do intensive reading to learn more vocabulary quicker, extensive reading to improve overall comprehension. Do SRS flashcards/focused graded readers/word-list prep for stuff I read as needed, to speed up how much vocab I learn (if I’m learning too slow for my preference lol). Ways to make extensive reading easier: read graded readers, read show subtitles in target language while watching show, textbooks built to increase info taught in context, read stuff I’ve read translations of first, read stuff I have prior context for (I saw the show/heard already with english transcript etc), Listening reading method, read extensively what I’ve read intensively before etc.

Listening skills - start extensive listening to audio (for overall comprehension improvement). Start intensive listening where I hear words and lookup definition and/or learn word pronunciation with explanations. So start listening to audio flashcards for building a base of learned words/phrases (chinese spoonfed audio files, japanese core 2k audio, japaneseaudiolessons.com, SRS flashcards if they have audio only ones too, Coffee Break French, audio for Francais par le methode nature etc). To make extensive listening easier: start with watching/listening to shows I’ve already seen subs for, shows in general (visual context helps), comprehensible input audio (like comprehensible input french youtube, Learn Korean in Korean youtube, Dreaming Spanish youtube etc), listen with a transcript then listen without, Listening reading method, listen to things I have prior context for like audiobook of something i read/audio drama of show i’ve seen. Do some shadowing (shadowing audio flashcard files is easy and reliable tbh). 

Production skills (I am not here yet) - in general I’ve found making myself write more, talk more, to myself (like journals and practice convos) and to others, tends to improve my active vocabulary. Especially when I try to communicate about topics i’m bad at (so making myself look up those words and write/say them to put them back into active vocab). At this point I’m guessing more explicit grammar drill practice might help, people correcting me, shadowing a lot. Maybe practicing translating to that language/from it, to practice building active vocab? I’m not sure what will help most here tbh as I’ve never gotten far in this area. (For chinese, studying pronunciation more in depth and doing more listening/shadowing, and pronunciation apps, helped a lot with pronunciation itself but not active production yet). 

---

i’m currently mostly just doing 8-9 for chinese right now - building reading skills, building listening skills. Varying what i do. For production skills i’m guessing there’s a ton of varied things i can do right now or later, i’m just not entirely sure what they’d be. i have not tried/troubleshooted those skills much before when studying. All i know for sure is the more i make myself use the language in Varied topics, the more i get an active vocabulary (aka writing journals, making self-convos, and doing language exchanges help in a basic way). No idea how to improve grammar though in ways that’d work well for me. so right now my skills lean heavier toward comprehension, less skill in any production. Studying chinese taught me a lot about how i learn listening skills though...which is valuable as i barely had practice learning HOW to study them when i studied french or japanese before.

troubleshooting wise - this is the rough trajectory i went through in chinese, that has worked okay for me. looking at it helps me see where i ‘slowed down’ my progress in other languages i studied.

for french - i did very LITTLE listening practice, and had few ideas of how to work on it at the time. Now I would probably do listen with transcript then without, and shadowing, to work on listening skills. And watching shows/videos with subtitles (if possible), then without subs. And very little speaking practice - same deal as listening, i did a little at some point realizing it was a weak area but not enough work on it. I also did very LITTLE production practice like language exchanges. i had few reasons to produce language, and so the few times i needed to i could mostly rely on super common words or look things up when writing. i know i’d need to do more to work on production. so i was very unbalanced - large reading comprehension, low pretty much every other skill.

for japanese... i did a lot in retrospect i wish i’d redone different. and i do it different now. i did not read/watch a grammar guide - and i still freaking need to (or at least get clear grammar exposure like nukemarine’s LLJ course’s tae kim portions). japanese has grammar i find very hard to figure-out through exposure so this holds me back a lot. and lack of immersion to both motivate me to study MORE and to practice reading/listening skills. ALSO lack of common words - i learned like 800 hanzi rough-meaning through RTK, and maybe 500 words in genki... and no wonder it wasn’t enough lol! i think nukemarine helped back years ago, because it forced me to study grammar and vocab, listening and reading, in a structured way (similar to how genki helped me in the very start before i quit using it). and japaneseaudiolessons.com helped because it made me practice listening and gave me comprehensible listening with definitions. that in combo with me really starting to immerse and TRY to read/listen at year 2+ is when i finally made some progress because i was doing things that work for me - finally. and now that i’m coming back to japanese, i’m starting to apply all those things again that were finally working. 

---

anyone have any tips on how to improve production skills? Both active vocabulary, and how to both practice speaking/writing broadly AND how to fix grammar errors. 

For active vocab and general writing/speaking I know just talking more/writing more helps. But I can only tend to catch grammar errors if I run it through a translator first to compare how the translator phrases it to how I did (which can create a LOT of errors if the translator is Wrong), or if someone corrects my grammar error (which relies on other people - and preferably a tutor since i dont want to bother people who aren’t paid to correct - so what can i do on my OWN?). 

The big thing is with grammar, I can only think to either go through beginner courses Again from the start and do the writing drills and copy the patterns to internalize them? So I could correct my basic writing/speaking but not necessarily when I start speaking/writing creatively, unless I find textbooks/workbooks that eventually go into intermediate material (and of course finding textbooks/online exercises that provide correct answers so i can compare my attempts to the correct ones). Aside from either a tutor, or trying to find well made free online courses with exercises with answers provided, i’m not sure how to improve grammar production. If I write out sentences i read, would that internalize being able to ‘copy their grammar correctly’ when i write? if i shadow correctly said speeches/videos, would that help drill ‘correct grammar’ when speaking? (And be less boring then doing FSI speech drills). Basically I’m trying to find some ways (creative or not) to improve grammar in production. Improving active vocabulary seems pretty straightforward to me (make myself use it, look up words until they come natural to me - but if u got any other fun ways to improve active vocab i’d love to hear!). But I don’t know how to improve grammar when you are NOT in a class structure, have no teacher/tutor, and already have a base level of comprehension. As in like? I can read fine, but when writing I can’t tell if what I produce is grammatically correct or not - and again I can run it through a translator sometimes to try and ‘check’ but since translators make errors, my ‘corrected example’ isn’t always reliable to use as something to emulate for ‘correct form.’

[popculturebuffet]

Final Space: And Into The Fire Review or Now with 110% More Homoerotic Telepathy

Welcome  new and old to my first Final Space review! If you’ve never seen the blog before, and given this is the first “new” series i’ve covered as it come out in some time that’s probably quite a few of you, welcome. I’m Jake, I do recaps and reviews of various animated shows and comics, mostly just stuff I want to do, often on comission (5 dollars an episode if theres any episode of the first two seasons of this show or any episode of any other show you’d like tos ee me cover), or for my patreon patreon.com/popculturebuffet. And it is my utmost honor to add this show to my rotating roster of shows I cover as they come out. 

I friggin love Final Space. I was intrigued by it back when TBS released the animatics alongside Close Enough (Wth the two shows ironically finally together on HBO max as of earlier this month), for their doomed block. I heard a lot of good things about season 1.. and let it get away from me, not watching it till Season 2. But both seasons had more than enough to pull me in with intriguging characters, even greater jokes and a truly unique idea for a premise involving giant monsters, an edltrich god and lots of cookies. 

So while it took an extra year given Covid, I’m super friggin pumped to get into season 3 at long last after the hell of a cliffhanger, especially since ironically last night I saw Steven Yeun’s oscar nominated performance in “Minari”. Now i get to watch him play a cat teenager again too.. and in a few days Mark friggin Grayson. It’s a good week to be a fan of his is what i’m saying and a good week in general. 

Previously on Final Space Yo!: Since it’s been a year and while the series provides  a recap , I’m going to be doing these anyway so:

Our heroes finally got all 5 dimensional keys and freed Bolo, and in the process also freed Avacato from Invictus, the horrifying entity controlling final space. Meanwhile Tribore got Sheryl to stop being a selfish prick and she joined the team trying to be a better mother from now on. But freeing Bolo came at a high cost as Nightfall sacrified herself as the sixth key (KVN was natrually both Gary and Bolo’s first choice, but was inllegible. ) So we ended the season with our heroes entering Final Space and Gary reuniting with Quinn.... while Invictus loomed. So over a year later we finally get some answers so join me under the cut for spoilers, recaps, and homoerotic text ahoy. 

Something i’m doing since both the roster keeps changing.. and as I correctly guessed from the trailer, and the general tone of the promos for this season, that everyone won’t be all together all season.. or even in one piece.. i’ll be doing a silver age style roll call to let us know who all we have on the Team Squad for the episode Roll Call: Gary, Quinn, Avacato, Little Cato, Ash, Fox, KVN, HUE, AVA, Sheryl, Bolo, and Tribore

So we pick up right where we left off, Gary tearfully reuniting with Quinn, with Quinn wishing he hadn’t come for her, and Gary being Gary naturally having ignored that, and actually been more determined since that made it forbidden which made it extra tempting and him want to extra do it. God I missed this glorious idiot let me tell you. 

So things are quickly interrupted by invictus, who turns out to be a giant flaming head.. thing... and chases them and the crimson light, which has to start speeding with our heroes tethered to the outside, Quinn holding onto Gary. 

So we get one hell of a thrilling chase as the Crimson Light outspeeds the demon head and runs into two titans, but Bolo shows up to take out one, with Mooncake trying his dimension shattering blast thingy on Invictus.. and naturlaly g ven this is the big bad we need to show off how horrying they are, and it does NOTHING. But Gary catches his little buddy so we’re alright. 

Sheryl also shows off her badass bonafieds by LIGHTFOLDING THROUGH A TITAN... granted she still has some parenting skills to learn as “lightfolding while your son is hanging out the back through an edltrich god” really isn’t a motherly thing to do.. but neither is trying to murder your child several times or blaming him for how shitty your life turned out so ANYTHING is a step up for her. 

But.. it’s not enough. While she does manage to kill ONE the Crimson Light is too badly damaged to go on and we get two tragic deaths in one go... The Team Squad is forced to abandon the Crimson Light.. and AVA is too damaged to Upload into HUE. “I’m Sad” “For who?” “For you.. and for us. “ God damn Tom Kenny is amazing. You don’t need me telling you that, but sometimes you need a reminder. 

So our heroes end up on a desolate mystery world, stranded in final space with no ship, no suplies and no hope. The only thing to do now is survivie and hope they can continue the mission at some point. 

ONE MONTH LATER

Things have not gotten any better, as naturally , our heroes have only found weird cartoon eyed worms that regrow their heads when you bite them off. So while this means unlimited food, it’s also disgusting and Garry hates it. “This may be a head but it tastes like a butt”. Quinn and Tribore are with him and Quinn hasn’t been ready to talk about her experiences trapped in this hellscape and still isn’t but being a good dude, Gary dosen’t push her on it. Though the weird red veiny thing on her arm tells me maybe one of you should speed that up before she explodes or gets cronnenburgy. Just saying. I’ll also say i’m not huge on the one month time skip, as while I feel they probably have a reason for being that specific i’ts a bit TOO long and I question why have that long a period of a jump, not the longest but still long enough for things to happen with nothing changingin that time? Still it’s a minor nitpick in an otherwise fantastic episode so I can let it go, I just don’t get it. 

What we do get is some Gary Corpses dropping and Invictius puppeting them... i’m with gary that is bowel openingly scary. I also do like how despite the FAR more dire circumstances, they still get in the requisite shenanigans this series requires. I’ts not to the network mandated subplot levels where it distracts, but it’s enough to help ease the terror of the situation and isn’t around for situations like the opening where it really SHOULDN’T be. As the series always has when something big happens, the bollocks goes away. Once we’re in between we can get back to literal pissing contests, KVN leading a crowd to their deaths and HUE in a pimp hat like god intended. 

So yeah our heroes have to outrun the horrible horde of Gary’s, though Little Cato catches on something’s wrong as Tribore makes gary cary him as foreshadowing for later and Sends mooncake down to asssit. Our heroes escape.. but a cave in happens.

After the break, Gary wakes up confused with the party now split in two: Gary, Quinn, KVN, Tribore and HUE on one side and Avacato, Ash, Fox, Little Cato and Sheryl on the other. So Gary does the logical thing... and take his shirt off telling Avacato to feel him. 

I mean I didn’t even ship them before this scene but... Gary claims because of their bond he can telepahtically connect with Avacato. That’s normal Gary shenanigans.. except not only does he shrug off his girlfriend asking why they can’t do that.. but it WORKS. We have a scene of the two telepahtically talking in a wheatfield that is so homerotic I guarantee there only wasn’t the Careless Whisper sax because they couldn’t afford it.. or their saving it for later this season. Look sometimes you don’t ship a ship because you just.. dont’ care that strongly one way or another and sometimes you just need an incredibly gay scene to see the light. Same thing happened with Weblena same thing here. 

Fox also says “that was glorious to watch” same man. That was freaking art. So our heroes split up into three plots. As usual for me

Team Gary: So yeah... Triobore’s pregnant. No way to really softball into that. He’s been pregnant this whole time. So we get a stupid and mildly horrifying gross out sequence with Gary having to look Triobore in teh eyes and Quinn having to “uncork him”. Which is code for ... you know what i’m not going to say it. If you’ve seen the episode you know and if not your better off not visualizing it trust me. Point is this whole sequence is dumb and the worst part of the episode by far. And the series CAN do good gross out. While Olan Rodgers regrets it, the pissing contest was one of the funniest scenes of season 2, and managed to make a gross idea on paper actually pretty damn funny. This.. this is just “Haha males giving birth and tribore’s an asshole”. There’s no joke here just a .. plug. .. gah.. the vomit is rising let me tell you. 

We do get something good out of this nightmare, Tribore’s son who hatches as the army of gary’s dig their way in, Quanstranstro, who rapidly ages into a stylsih spanish speaking adult badass. He is fucking awesome and a great addition to the team and the sheer.. oddity of his birth is wonderful even if the actual birthing was not. Then the climax happens so before that. 

Team Avacato:

Avacato and Co come across a sleeping giant robot cyborg .. thingy. Naturally Fox wakes him up. Little Cato remains not suprised. It occelates between panicking over it’s legs being gone and amenisa and is pretty damn funny. It’s voiced by John Dimagio. But it gets serious as we find out nothing has ever made it out of final space, and things.. change the longer there there. And Quinn’s been there several months if not a year. Whuh oh. This part is much better both due to better jokes and plot advancment.. though again Quanstrano is still fucking amazing. 

Team Bolo: Bolo meanwhile returns and fights a titan, and has mooncake help him rather htan join the others, but looses, hitting the planet with his body.. I mean he might not get back up.. but the impact shatters the caverns and causes an explosion. Everyone but Gary, Quinn, KVN and HUE are MIA, as our remaining party find earth floating overhead. 

TO BE CONTINUED> 

Final Thoughts: A decent start to the season. Like I said the whole birthing sequence can die in a fire and reminds me of the terrible comedy subplots adult swim wanted grafted onto two episodes.. but otherwise it’s a tense stark opener that sets up the bleak tone while still keeping the series rediciulous shenanigans in tact. It’s the perfect welcome back after so long. I mean the gay telepathy alone would make it a winner. 

Next Time on This Blog: We dive into a little history with HIsteria. See you at the next rainbow. 

[mysterylover123]

Mysterylover watches Bleach: Episodes 151-152: Spanish Miniboss

mysterylover123

1. So I’m pretty positive Aizen is manipulating Hime, and for some reason he wants her to do exactly what she’s planning on doing. Like, just a vibe I’m getting.

2. WTF is with this kid? Why is she so needy towards Ichigo? Why was she running around the desert with a bunch of shinigami?

3. Ichi ends up fighting what seems to be a kind of silly boss. Aren’t you working for Aizen’s Evil Council of Evil? What business do you have being so fabulous?

4. Ichi and Nel are not impressed. Dude you’re not even scaring the freaking 6 year old. This is Halloween, I demand more intimidating monsters. 

5. Ichi is mad at Nel for playing sick. Yes, this guy is so unintimidating that they’re actually having a conversation while he poses.

6. Hey Grinning Guy is back! Yay! One mildly intimidating villain! Or maybe not since goofy guy actually does manage to cut Ichigo. I guess that goofiness was just an act.

7. So Ishi and Chad have met their mini bosses too. And goofy guy beats Ichi up pretty good. Poor Ichi. Though he actually seems fine with it. 

8.  Part 2 cuts back to Renji. Renji you really shouldn’t have had the gang Split up to Look for Clues or whatever. 

9. “If we don’t find Nel and stop her” WTF does THAT mean?! Is Nel secretly evil?

10. Cut back to Ichi getting his ass kicked while Nel watches and panics. Ichi’s definitely in trouble, though since he’s the main character I’m guessing he’ll be ok.

11. OK so Goofy Guy wants to see Ichi’s Bankai. Why is Ichi holding it back, I dunno. Maybe he doesn’t wanna waste it. 

12. OH SHIT NEL TOOK THE BLAST?! HOLY SHIT SHE’S EATING IT?! NEL ARE YOU A SECRET OP BADASS?! 

13. She actually spits it right back out at the bad guy. Holy shit Ichigo, looks like you’ve added yet another OP badass lady to your crew. 

14. And Ichi protects her by going full badass, with a real cool cape. I hope him and Nel team up here. He apparently was holding back because he wanted to save the Bankai for the cool bad guys. Just like I thought.

15. And the guy also wants to fight HollowIchi. Sure dude try that. I’m sure it’ll work out great for you.

16. And he hurts Nel, which is probably gonna piss off Ichigo. I guess that’ll work for now but I wanna see Nel go evil or whatever it is her friends think she’ll do.

17.  So ichi Hollowfies and the guy’s happy. Congrats dude, I hope you enjoy the getting slaughtered.

18 And he does immediately get slaughtered and drooled on by Nel. You reap what you sow dude. 

19. So Nel has Steven Universe-style healing Spit huh? Well they’re down one healer in their party (for now) guess they need to restock.

20. The villain is attacking again because he’s an asshole. Oh well. 

21. So that was nice enough but NGL I’m just the tiniest bit more excited for the BLEACH HALLOWEEN SPECIAL I’M GONNA WATCH TODAY!!! DOUBLE FEATURE TODAY ON MYSTERYLOVER WATCHES BLEACH! STAY TUNED!!

[depressedoverdrawings]

Can you hear the tumult of our youth?

KazeKi is the first romance I’ve ever enjoyed, or rather, that I emotionally connected with, as “enjoy” is a funny word choice for a work that made me feel so miserable. Personally, I’ve never enjoyed media that focuses on relationships and love, were they movies, TV, or literature.

But after I discovered KazeKi, I found myself drawn to it, almost involuntarily so. It was as if a spell had been cast. I suppose what superficially drew me in, at first, was the art. It had the charm of retro manga (I absolutely love retro manga/anime looks, IMO they have so much more character than most modern anime and manga), the nostalgic elegance of the idealized upper-class XIX century, and the unrelenting beauty and cuteness of all the boys.

It was mildly surreal and highly entertaining to witness the seed of so many shounen-ai visual tropes: The flower motifs, the flowery poetry, the impossibly pretty boys in dramatic embraces and breathy kisses, the aggressive frenchness of it all. Even it was shocking to me how these elements, instead of striking me as the tired, sappy tropes I saw them as, were now all genuine and beautiful, somehow. Even those silly sparkles around pretty boys seemed fitting. I realized these weren’t tropes back then, but elements of a sincere artistc vision. However, while the art was mesmerizing to me, I came to realize that what drew me in deeper, and kept me anchored to KazeKi, were the themes explored, and the character-based drama, the very stuff I had always avoided.

Without getting far too personal about it, Kaze to Ki no Uta was the first romance that struck something within me, somewhere personal. Now, I certainly have never faced trauma and pain anywhere near to what poor Gilbert and Serge face in their absurdly depressing story, but I definitely wouldn’t call myself emotionally and sexually resolved and healthy, and once upon a time I was a closeted boy in a catholic school, so I guess there’s space for a little bit of self-identification. My coping mechanism to my personal woes had always been to just bottle them up and distract myself with entertainment and art. And that was exactly what I was doing, browsing music on YouTube, when I stumbled upon the KazeKi OVA’s soundtrack.

I found myself listening to this gorgeous arrangement of a Chopin piece, and thought to myself, staring at the angelic figure looking back at me, across the screen: “Gee whilikers, that’s sure is a pretty drawing of a pretty girl”. Then, after reading the comments, I found out that was a boy. As much as the “draw a girl, call it a boy” school of drawing pretty boys makes me groan, I could still feel it, that first hook of interest, stabbing me. As the slideshow enticed me with pictures of Keiko Takemiya’s gorgeous art, I found myself enamoured by it. It was a particular drawing that made KazeKi finally snatch me: that same boy, lounging angelically on some sort of abstract architectural design; in the background, a neoclassical vase flanked by two neoclassical girls, and, above and below, this stunningly beautiful vegetation. So much care, skill, and good taste, concentrated in just one image! I’d have it as a poster, if I could. So, I googled “Kaze to Ki no Uta”, unwittingly throwing myself in a rabbit hole I could not have prepared myself for. Trying to read it was in itself a journey, but, to sum it up: I managed to read it about as well as one can, if they don’t speak japanese and have no access to the spanish and italian translations.

It had been years since I had started feeling emotionally numb. My most extreme displays of emotion came in the form of quiet, teary eyes, reserved for those rare, impactful pieces of art, and those rarer moments of despair-inducing introspection that I couldn’t manage to suppress, but even those lasted little, as I fought to recover my composure. By the end of Kaze to Ki no Uta, I was a sobbing wreck, doing my best (and failing) to contain my ugly crying. Ugly crying, for god’s sake. I was ugly crying, actually sobbing like a kid, because of an yaoi manga. Crying in the shower, even! What kind of weeb had I degenerated into? It hurt. It deeply hurt, in a way I hadn’t been made to hurt in a long, long while. KazeKi had impacted me to the point that I wasn’t just sad, I was scared too, as the waterfall of emotion opened the path for that deeper, personal darkness to come out. And it did.

Now, I admit I’d been a little bit more emotionally fragile than usual right before I read it, due to the effects of the quarantine and the previous consumption of a highly depressing piece of media: Les Amitiés Particulières, which is probably even more depressing than KazeKi as it deals with a much more grounded homophobia-induced tragedy based in real life. Somehow, it didn’t impact me as much as KazeKi, however. Also, it was definitely what influenced my personal YouTube algorithm to recommend me the KazeKi soundtrack, so I wouldn’t know of KazeKi if it weren’t for Amitiés. But even then, it felt unnatural to, well, feel so much. I hadn’t felt this invested in and attached to fictional characters ever since I was a little kid, too young to realize those people in the TV weren’t real. In the following couple of weeks, I was crying over these boys, spending whole days feeling like trash, feeling mild anxiety spikes whenever I remembered about KazeKi, having (even more) difficulty falling asleep, and utterly failing to avoid thinking about my deep-seated intimate issues, all because of these dumb, pretty anime boys. Not even my trusty prayer of “they’re not real people, stop being stupid” worked. In an attempt to stop wallowing in this shounen-ai hell, I decided to consume a whole lot of escapist media while I deliberately avoided any activity related to KazeKi, be it reading the manga, listening to the OVA’s soundtrack, looking at fanart, or even just thinking about it. It “worked” for a month or so, but now I’m back here, wallowing in KazeKi’s painful beauty again, stalking the other seven people in the western world that seem to care about KazeKi, and distilling my thoughts in this bizarre textwall, in an attempt to work it out. If you’re one of those seven people, please don’t refrain from talking to me, if you feel like it! I’ve had just one opportunity to have a conversation about KazeKi, and it was in YouTube comments, for heaven’s sake. I’ve come to the conclusion that I’m this afflicted by KazeKi due to its unrelenting, merciless, cruel beauty. Everything about it is presented in this assembly of pure beauty and lost perfection, this painful nostalgia that is present in its aesthetics of an idealized Europe which lives only in its surviving art, that is present in the story which ultimately tells us of the loss of love, and is present in the fact that the whole story is a broken man’s reverie about the past. Tragedy might make me sad, but tragedy with beauty will destroy me. Bittersweetness is just so more cruel than bitterness. And it was this masterpiece of sadistic bittersweetness that permanently broke something in how I deal with my emotions. Kaze to Ki no Uta touched me deeply, to the point of leaving a permanent impression, I’m afraid. I can count in one hand the pieces of art that have punched my soul in the face like KazeKi did. I am honestly flabbergasted over the effect it had over me. At first I felt embarrassed over being emotionally obliterated by a freaking shounen-ai, but I’ve since come to the conclusion that KazeKi is a work of art, a genuine, sincere work of art, deserving of the title. Now I just hope I’m not alone in being emotionally obliterated by this freaking shounen-ai. After everything they went through, the personal fights, the shaky development of their relationship, the undeserved ostracism at Lacombrade, Auguste’s demonic persecution, the escape; how could it be that Gilbert’s life would end in such a horrible way, and that Serge would be left alone to face the full, unbearable weight of his grief! Why?! Keiko Takemiya, you’re a vile sadist. You’re a genius, too, of course. But you’re a vile sadist.

I knew that a happy ending wasn’t going to happen. The horrible ending was a pretty early spoiler, really. Unfortunately for me, I couldn’t stop myself from reading on anyway, and I couldn’t stop myself from having an inkling of illogical hope. Even if my logical self knew a happy ending wasn’t gonna happen, it couldn’t prepare me for just how tragically their love would end, and how awful it all would feel, once I knew their full story.

It’s all the more bitter because of how close Serge came to saving him, too. Having escaped together to a place where they could’ve built the nearest thing to a normal life a gay couple could have, back then. But in the end, not even Serge’s love could mend Gilbert’s mutilated soul. Those boys deserved so much better, especially Serge. Serge, you sweet angel! You were created to suffer.

KazeKi really is a masterpiece in how it explores its extremely heavy themes and the minds of its characters, and how it flawlessly meshes that with perfect art. There are many moments in KazeKi that haunt me: Serge letting that bird go, Serge’s vision of Gilbert at the Lacombrade grounds, Gilbert running into the carriage, angel wings behind him; Serge laying alone on the bed in Room 17. I cannot look at those pages without tearing up and feeling this horrible feeling in my heart, and this feeling is literal: My heart actually feels heavy and constricted when I think about it, it can’t be healthy. Up until now, I thought “cri evrytiem” was just a meme. KazeKi has woken me up to the fact that bottling up one’s own personal issues will inevitably end with them exploding out, leading to something much, much worse. I am scared by the prospect of facing my personal issues. To me, they are horribly strong, and seem incredibly hard to solve, if they’re even solvable at all. I’m horrified by the prospect of facing them, working to solve them. I’m so scared, that simply thinking about it, right now, gives me this awful weight in my chest, and makes me want to cry, again. But I know now that I have no choice in this matter, as the only alternative is that abyss I dare not speak of, and one cannot return from. Melodramatic? Yes. But I did just read Kaze to Ki no Uta.

Thank you for getting this far, whoever you are.

I’m forever haunted by Serge’s words to his long-gone Gilbert, right at the beginning:

“Gilbert Cocteau, you were the greatest flower to ever bloom in my life. In the faraway dreams of youth, you were a bright red flame, blazing so fiercely… You were the wind that stirred my branches. Can you hear the poem of the wind and trees? Can you hear the tumult of our youth? Oh, there must be others who so remember their own days of youth…”

[fantroll-purgatory]

Xanatl Cambre, or whatever!

I read homestuck the first time when I was 13 and now that I’m rereading it I realized I processed almost 0 things in it the first time. So this is BASICALLY my first homestuck oc as someone who understands what the hell is happening in homestuck. I’m only about 3000 pages in, so I might have some misunderstandings still, sorry! Please go crazy telling me what I could fix or change, and I also have 0 clue for his appearance soooo. 

Okay! I’ll do my best to tighten this character up a bit!

Name: Xanatl Cambre 

Pronounced “Shan-uh-teal Cam-bray” (for the Aztec god Xolotl, and the coloration of darker axolotl’s- axanthic + the Spanish words for walk and fire/light)

Camnar is a seven-sweep-old violet-blooded troll who failed to fully complete his metamorphosis, for some reason or another- it happens! He possesses an extra set of fully functioning arms, a small flippy-flappy finny-tail-nub, and big bright purple shiny eyes. Everything else seems like it’s grown in okay, probably. Though he was fully capable of surviving his grub trials, his defects are admittedly uncomfortable enough to maybe have earned culling when he was only a few sweeps old, if not for [name here], a jade-blood with a penchant for healthy freaks and everything there is to learn about them (ESPECIALLY messed-up metamorphisizers) assisting in chopping off the extra bits every once in a while when drones come around. And definitely NOT keeping them in a walk in freezer to study. He’s not crippled or weakened by any of them, anyways, they’re just weird to look at- his eyesight might not be great, but he wouldn’t admit it. 

Fire, salamanders in general, the Aztec god Xolotl, and all around childish imbecility are all pretty big parts of and inspiration for his character. 

Hmmm. I feel like this passage comes off as fairly ableist, so watch your language here (i.e. “freaks,” “crippled,” “childish imbecility,” etc.). There is nothing wrong with a jadeblood being interested in mutants who remain healthy or in Xanatl not being weakened by losing body parts or even in him being childishly careless but language matters and I don’t feel comfortable letting it slide.

Interests: Penchant for outdoor land activities, especially camping. Loves using the time on those camp-outs to start fires, make star-maps, and attempt to commune with the dead through rituals found on old forums (with little success).

I like this bit as an emphasis on the fire theme, and I actually really like that you made a seadweller with that fire theme!

 A very keen interest in the occult and black magyks generally, but too lazy to go all the way with it, and too scared to perform it in his underwater home. A notable interest in weather-tracking, especially large storms and how they grow, change, and die. Mild inclinations to cannibalize other trolls- luckily, most don’t fit in his mouth.

WGAT

Finds great joy in training his lusus to do tricks and assist in hunting for dinner. A great cook! Especially loves spicy food (mustard flowers grow around his hive, and he uses their seeds/”eye of newt” for a kick a lot of the time). General propensity to put whatever he can fit into his mouth in his mouth that caused a lot of sickness as a young troll. One of his favorite non-food things to eat that isn’t necessarily dangerous are agave americana plants, which he grows and keeps all over the top floor of hive (he probably could not keep any other plants alive). Spends a lot of time with [insert jadeblood’s name], but mostly out of the obligation of their friendship, because he’s kind of tired of her cutting his fingers off to study their regrowth. He’s also mildly obsessed with siren stories and myths, but he doesn’t really know why. 

He lives in a two-story hive. The lower story sits below the water in a somewhat shallow muddy canal, and the top half hugs the shoreline. He spends most of his time in the bottom half, though.

Ooooh I really like that setup!

Personality: He’s kind of a coward. Very averse to change, but not fully content in his quiet life. He doesn’t particularly like company and when other trolls are around he feels urges to hurt them until they go away/are digested. Those urges don’t make him uncomfortable or guilty. It’s natural! Despite enjoying his outside time, most things he indulges in are sedentary- he’s very lazy and drowsy most hours of the night. He’s very defensive of his interests and his home, a little insecure in general. His high caste boosts his self esteem and his mutations knock it down- though he’s very removed from his society as a whole, self isolating with abandon, he dreams of mingling with the upper class in the deep ocean. Every troll and lusus around would probably kill him if he tried though, haha! He doesn’t like to talk about his emotions, or his future.

Wow unfortunate mood.

Special Abilities: None! Not notably strong, compared to any of his peers. A pretty normal kid/fish. Well, his extra arms and tail have some regenerative properties- he’s not sure if this extends to the rest of his body, and he refuses to test it. 

Strife Specibus: Mandible-kind. Xanatl’s teeth are fairly small and underdeveloped, sharp but tiny. He has a set of big dentures he fits over his own teeth, fixed from a few native canal beasts lost teef. 

Ooooh I really like that! You could also maybe have him fashion Greek-fire like molotov cocktails that he is verrrry reticent to use since it would burn his house down possibly.

Fetch Modus: Not sure! Maybe something to do with those lame circular life-cycle charts. Or a call to lotl’s regenerative abilities, like it breaks a piece off the item and it has to regrow so he can use it.

Hmmmm. What about a MITOSIS MODUS, which accepts an item and begins the process of cell division. For the next 24 hours, the item is inaccessible, but after those 24 hours he has two of the item!

Symbol and Meaning: Oh, no idea.

I’ll explain a little more down under title assignation, but I think Aquamini, Sign of the Idiosyncratic works exceptionally well.

Handle: neotenticSalamancer OR neotenicNecramander ? I wasn’t sure if it HAD to follow the GCAT thing, and if it did, what to use. 

You don’t have to follow GCAT! Those trolltags were specific to Hussie’s narrative and you don’t have to adopt that convention. I actually really like neotenicNecromander it’s cute.

Quirk: So I have two ideas for this:

replaces “sh” sounds with “x”, misspells often, not one to xout or use capital letters in general, and ends sentences with his tail =>

Or

u232 3 to r3plac3 “e” and 2 to r3plac3 “s”, 32 billion b3ing th3 numb3r of ba23 pair2 in th3 axolotl2 g3nom3… 2till u232 th3 cut3 tail too tho =>

Ooooh I like the first one for readability! Like yes leetspeak is a valid quirk but also I like when people break from that.

Lusus: Giant salamander-sized two-faced Xoloitzcuintli-type amphibious woofbeast. Not sure what to call this guy! Maybe “Mudpapi”, like mudpuppy. 

I love that nickname :D

Land: Land of Tilapia and Lightning, LOTaL (haha). Big beasts and big storms both threatening to swallow him. 

I super appreciate the acronym so I wanna keep that, but the first word of the Land usually related to its feel and the second to its quest. I can kiiiinda see how you could build a quest around lightning but the Vibe being tilapia doesn’t quite track for me. What about Land of Torches and Lightning, so it’s a bright planet but with two light sources trying to extinguish one another?

Title: I’m not sure I want him to ever god-tier because of his crippling fear of death and change. Like he would probably just blatantly refuse to, and stay content with being at the top of the echeladder pre-god tiers. I don’t know what his title would be, it’s a tough one! It’d be funny to make him a seer (for axolotl’s terrible eyesight, and the myth of xolotl crying his literal eyes out), but he’s probably a page. Of what? I’unno. 

:) I think he is for SURE a Page of Doom then. He has so much to do with death and rot and a lack of embracing that, and I can see potential for the character to really grow into that.

Lunar Sway: Derse? I’m inclined to want to give him both, because of the minor twin theming, but not sure what the rules are there. 

Ehhhh his personality is a lot more Derse with the desire for control over his circumstances. There are certainly cases where characters can have two moons but I don’t think this is it.

Thank you!!

No problem! I hope this helped!

-TR

[jawnjendes]

girl, you’re trouble | shawn mendes

university au, shawn x goth gf

AN: i dont love the title but whatever i guess!! let me know ur thots, Thots! ALSO theres a bit of Spanish in this (surprise, the goth gf is actually mexican) so get ur fuckin translators out

masterlist | series playlist

I woke up alone in bed, but I wasn’t alone in the apartment. Just outside the bedroom, in the living room, I heard the sounds of Shawn singing and playing guitar. A smile appeared on my tired face. It’s been a while since I heard that pretty voice. It took me a minute to process what exactly he was belting out, but it must have been new. I’ve heard all of his songs, but this one was unfamiliar to me.

“Help me, it’s like the walls are caving in

Sometimes I feel like giving up, but I just can’t

It isn’t in my blood”

With a heavy sigh, I reached for my phone on the nightstand. However, as soon as I extended my arm and tried to stretch, I felt the minor sting of my incisions. I groaned and remained lying where I was, and I waited for Shawn to get all his sad boi feelings out. Good thing I loved hearing him sing.

“Laying on the bathroom floor, feeling nothing

I’m overwhelmed and insecure, give me something

I could take to easy my mind, slowly”

Okay, that was a direct hit to the feelings I tried so hard to keep tied up in a small box in the back of my mind. I felt small and helpless all over again in a matter of seconds. I had to lie on this bed and stare at the ceiling while I waited for my boyfriend to come and help me sit up. I had to depend on someone else to get by, and I never experienced that. I needed help, and I hated it. I hated being so vulnerable. Crazy how his words could drastically change my mood. And I literally just woke up.

Out of sheer spite (to whom, I don’t know), I dug my elbows into the mattress and attempted to pick up my head and shoulders. I felt the strain below my belly button, where the biggest incision was located, but I still tried to sit up on my own. Then, a sharp pain went through where I was cut into, and I groaned through gritted teeth. I dropped my head back and took a deep breath. I can do this.

Shawn’s guitar playing suddenly stopped. “Honey?”

Okay, I can’t do this.

I took another deep breath and tried to erase the frustration from my face as the door to the room opened. Shawn dashed inside and approached me.

“Are you okay? What happened?” he asked, looking up and down at my body like he was expecting me to be bleeding.

“Nothing, I was just trying to sit up,” I replied monotonously.

“Well, why didn’t you call me? I was just right outside the door.” Without even asking, he leaned down to wrap an arm around my back and moved me into a sitting up position. I felt a bit stupid.

I decided to change the subject. “Was that a new song I heard?”

“Yeah, something that hit all of a sudden,” he said. “What’d you think?”

Carefully, I shifted so my legs hung over the edge of the mattress. “I liked it a lot. I was happy to hear you sing again.”

Now I was able to reach for my phone on the nightstand. I had a new text from my mom, saying that she and my dad landed in Toronto. A deep pit formed in my stomach.

“My parents are in the city,” I said, my eyes widening.

Shawn didn’t reciprocate my nerves. “That’s great! Do they need a ride from the airport?”

“No!” I answered too quickly. “Uh… If you pick them up and I’m not there, they’ll be upset that I didn’t personally welcome them here. And if I do go with you, they’ll freak out because I’m not taking better care of myself post-surgery. Just let them get a Lyft.”

“Okay, then…”

For the first time in weeks, I got myself ready. Yeah, I was in the hospital for a week and a half, but exams season was prior to that event. I had been looking raggedy for a while now. My face was a little sunken in from the dramatic weight drop I experienced from my diet, but I didn’t look Dead dead. I brushed my teeth and straightened my hair, and I felt good about it. Plus, I was glad to discover I still had the skill to almost effortlessly draw on inner and outer wings on my eyes. I mean, I had one eye done successfully...

Shawn was watching me in the bathroom, leaning against the doorway with a smile on his face. I pretended to be too busy drawing on my other wing to acknowledge him for about five seconds. The pressure was a bit much.

“Can I help you, my dear?” I asked, finally drawing the outline of my wing.

“You just look so pretty,” he said mindlessly. “And you’re so good at putting on makeup.”

I chuckled. “It’s just eyeliner.”

Then the subject changed. “So… I know I’ve asked, but I still don’t know the answer. What are your parents like?”

I never knew how to answer a question like that without sounding like an ungrateful child. “Um… my mom’s an Aries and my dad is an Aquarius…”

“Babe.”

“My mom’s name is Lucy, and my dad’s name is Ed,” I tried again. “They’ll talk to each other in Spanish if they don’t want people around them to know what they’re saying. A lot of people say I’m a mix of both of them. Uh, they’re swayed by actions and not words. They know you make me happy, so they should be nice.”

“Should?” Shawn repeated. “Uh, okay. Noted. My parents and sister are coming over too. Like, a little bit later. So it’ll be a big happy family time.”

“Fun!”

Oh god. If there was anything in my body, I’d shit myself.

For once, the two of us were dressed in something other than pajamas. I mean, I still had on black sweats, but I had on my black long sleeve with a rose embroidered on the chest. It was nicer than a t-shirt, in my opinion. Plus, it went well with Shawn’s black floral button up and black jeans. His outfit was a bit more colorful, but I was a little giddy that we had an unplanned theme going on.

My parents came over first. I heard the knock on the door and made tense eye contact with my boyfriend. Then, I remembered one last bit to tell him.

“Oh, uh… my father doesn’t appreciate names like Gomez Addams, Alice Cooper, Gene Simmons… y’know what I mean?” I said, snaking my arm around Shawn’s waist so we could walk to the front door.

“Why would I call him that?” he asked, confused.

“It’s just his… aesthetic? Appearance? He’s serious about it, and he doesn’t like people poking fun at it, even if it’s not malicious. Tell that to your family too.”

Shawn nodded, but he still seemed confused. I would have explained more, but another well-timed knock on the door distracted me.

“You can just wait on the couch if you want,” he told me as we strolled through the hallway.

“No, I don’t want you facing them alone.”

It’s cute how he thought I was joking. But I was not leaving him alone as long as my parents were here.

“Oh!” I interjected. “One more thing! Do not mention my birth control or my Prozac. They’ll flip their shit if they find out!”

“Shit, okay…”

When we got to the door, I answered. My mother practically screamed.

“Mija! Mi chiquita!” She hugged me around the shoulders, causing the fuzz from her fluffy pink coat to get in my mouth. For once, she was able to reach my shoulders because she was wearing sparkly, silver wedges.

She leaned back and smiled at me, tears welling up in her dark brown eyes. My mom didn’t exactly look young for her age, but she certainly dressed like it. Under her pink coat, she had a lavender dress on and white tights. Not only that, she had dyed her hair a lighter brown in the time that I had been away from home. It was a surprise, but it suited her.

“Love the hair,” I told her with a smile.

She kissed me on the cheek, leaving behind a pink lip stain. “Thank you, mija. Your hair has gotten really long! And you’ve lost weight!”

There it is.

My father was clad in a black leather jacket, a grey t-shirt and black jeans. He had on a black beanie, which covered his full head of dark hair. Last time I saw him, he was clean shaven, but now he had a decent amount of scruff on his chin. He was as tall as Shawn, but way less muscular. He held out a hand to him, and that was when I noticed his nails were also painted black. Haven’t seen that in a hot minute.

“How ya doing?” he greeted. “I’m Ed, and this is my wife, Lucy.”

Shawn shook his hand and smiled. I could tell he was nervous. “Nice to meet you.” He held his hand out to my mom next, but she pulled him into a hug.

“It’s so wonderful to meet you, honey,” she told him, returning his nervous smile.

“You too.” Shawn was pleasantly surprised by the gesture.

Dad hugged me as tight as Mom did. “Mija. I’ve missed you.”

“I’ve missed you guys,” I told them.

“Ah, it’s about time you do!” Mom said, still smiling.

And comes the first awkward pause of the week.

“Come on in!” Shawn piped up, gesturing for them to go down the hallway. “Living room is down that way. Would you guys like some water?”

“Oh, you sweetheart. Please, if you don’t mind,” Mom told him before following my dad to the living room.

That gave Shawn and I a moment alone as we went into the kitchen. It was a moment to breathe and to process everything. I looked at him, not really sure what to expect. Did he hate them already?

“You didn’t tell me your parents were polar opposites,” he told me quietly as he went to get glasses from the cabinet. “You never told me your dad was a goth.”

“You never asked,” I said, bemused.

“I’ve asked you like ten times!”

We went back to the living room with glasses of water. My mom was quick to stand up and help me sit on the couch.

“Maybe you shouldn’t be walking around so much,” she suggested.

“It’s good for me, trust me,” I replied. I wonder how much mothering I could take before I had it.

“Let me see your scars,” she said, grabbing at my shirt to look at my bandaged incisions. “Are they healing? Do they hurt at all?”

She’s my mom. What could I do? I sent my mildly embarrassed gaze over to Shawn, who was setting the glasses of water down on the coffee table. He only gave me an amused smile.

“Oh, god no!” Dad snapped, turning his head away. He coughed and gagged.

“It’s not that bad,” I told him. “It’s three holes and two lines in my tummy!”

“Nope! I can’t do blood!”

“There’s no blood!”

Mom pulled my shirt back down and sat next to Dad on the other end of the L-shaped couch. “You dress and act so scary but you can’t even look at your daughter’s wounds!”

They began to bicker in Spanish, to which I rolled my eyes at. Shawn sat down next me and we shared a look.

“Just wait,” I told him. “They’ll be done in a second. Then, they’re gonna interrogate you.”

“Great.”

Once my parents got themselves together, they simultaneously turned to us, hands folded in their laps. They moved together like robots sometimes, it was strange. But it worked for them.

“So, mija,” Mom said, “when will you be coming home?”

Oof. An unpleasant thing to talk about.

“Actually…” I trailed off. “I’m gonna be recovering til the middle of August. If I didn’t have these huge cuts under my belly button, I’d be ready to go home next week…”

Mom blinked a few times, like she hadn’t process what I said. Dad, on the other hand… his face fell. Honestly, I wasn’t too happy about this arrangement either.

“When does school start for you?” Dad asked.

“A week after I’m supposed to be recovered,” I replied. “And I have to get my dorm ready, and my professors will start setting assignments that month. Not to mention, I still have a job.”

“So you can go to work, but you can’t come home?” Mom’s warm, loving facade now vanished. Her face went hard and cold, and her eyes were daggers.

“My job isn’t that far from here,” I told her. “And I’m sitting at a desk most of the time. Trust me, I wanna go home too, but the doctor said-”

She cut across me. “The doctor said you stay con tu pinche novio, verdad? No quieres dejar ese chamaco? No quieres ver tu familia porque ya tienes novio!”

My dad gently placed his hands on her shoulders and quietly spoke to calm her down. It wouldn’t do any good, because now I was angry, and I talked back.

“Él no es chamaco! Me está cuidando, y estoy muy agradecido que me deje quedarme aquí! Sin él, hubiera estado sin hogar y varado! Ma, el doctor me dijo que no puedo viajar asi!” I raised my voice, causing Dad to hold up a warning finger.

“Don’t talk to your mother like that!”

“Pues, claro que no quieres viajar! How convenient!” Mom snapped. “Quieres quedarte con ese guey, no me mientas.”

My dad looked at my startled, confused boyfriend. “Listen, Shane-”

“Shawn,” I corrected, folding my arms.

“Sorry. Shawn. I’m sure you’re a nice guy,” Dad continued, “but we don’t know enough about you. We don’t know if this is a safe enough place for our daughter.”

Shawn sat up. “I’ll tell you anything you’d like to know, sir.”

“Nos va a mentir,” my mom spoke, looking at my dad with wide eyes. “Nos dirá que queremos oír.”

Normally, I would have kept at the Spanish, but I was over it now. Especially in front of my English speaking boyfriend. “Just give him a chance, Ma!”

Dad gave me a look like I was crazy. “Mija… she’s not wrong.”

I ignored him and turned to Shawn. “They’ve been here all of ten minutes and they already think you’re a liar. They think you’re forcing me to stay here or something.”

“Hey, we did not say that!” Mom pointed a manicured finger at me.

“It’s gonna lead to that! You’re always going to the worst case scenario!”

“Well, you’re still sick! He could leave or kick you out!”

Shawn spoke up. “Um… with all due respect, I wouldn’t do anything like that. I care so much about your daughter, I wouldn’t even think about leaving her like this, especially since…” He paused and glanced at me once. “I already knew how I felt about your daughter, but her time in the hospital made it even more clear. I love her… so much. All I wanna do is make sure she’s okay and healthy. And I wanna make her happy, too.”

That was all… the sweetest shit ever. But my mother still had a skeptical look on her face. My dad had his eyes narrowed, but he spoke next.

“I can see that. She told us that you slept at the hospital, saw her through to her surgery. Even before that, you stayed despite her health issues. I think that’s a good man.”

My faith was restored and shattered again with every word. “Despite my health issues?” I repeated.

��Ay, mija,” Mom said with a sigh, “you of all people should know how much of a hassle it is to deal with your sickness.”

“Well, Shawn doesn’t see me as someone who’s sick. He never has.”

“It’s really no hassle,” he added. “If anything, she pushes me to eat better.”

“And I only get sick if I eat the wrong thing. Most of the time, I’m fine.”

Mom scoffed. “You were in the hospital. Obviously, you did something wrong!”

Heard those words before… every time I was in the bathroom at my parents’ house. It was my fault. I felt defeated, so I sat back and pinched the bridge of my nose. It was hard to keep my body relaxed when I was so tense and frustrated. Of course, my silence prompted my mom to keep talking… to Shawn.

“As a child, whenever she got mad, she told us she was going to run away to Canada,” she recalled with a chuckle. “And she did! She got a scholarship offer from UCLA, but she chose to run here instead.”

I didn’t run away. I chose the place I actually applied to, and it was Toronto.

“How was I supposed to look after her? What would happen if she got sick?”

I got sick here, and it was handled. I knew how to handle my own burdens. Part of being chronically sick is learning to live with it. Part of it was always being seen as sick to some people. That happened whether you want it to or not.

“Aside from that,” Dad added, “we were also worried about the type of person she might end up with. She’ll pick whoever she picks, obviously. We just don’t wanna see her with someone who’ll influence her the wrong way. I’m sure she’s told you, but she’s had some rough relationships in the past.”

Shawn nodded. “Oh yeah. I know all about Luca.”

“Who’s Luca?”

God fuckign-

Keeping secrets from my parents was not allowed when I lived with them. It was hard trying to find privacy, much less ask for it. If I wanted to keep something for myself, then I was hiding something and that was bad. I couldn’t even keep a journal without worrying that they’ll read it behind my back. They were always able to get stuff out of me anyway… because they’re my parents, and they want to help, and I can only trust them and no one else. They did everything for me, the least I could do was reveal personal information so they knew every little thing that was going on with me.

Don’t even get me started on how offended they would get if I didn’t want to talk about certain things. I wanted time to sit with my depression when it started happening, only for my parents to literally ground me because I kept it from them. My mom was upset because I didn’t tell her about Shawn from the moment I laid eyes on him. So when I told them that I did not want to talk about my past thing with Luca, they weren’t exactly thrilled.

Thankfully, Shawn’s family finally made it over. That meant that my parents had to put on their civil customer service attitudes. Anyway, I finally met Shawn’s dad and sister, Manny and Aaliyah. I was still in a physical state I didn’t want to be in, but this was much better than when I was on morphine and hitting on my boyfriend.

Within minutes, our parents were bragging about their kids. Not in a way where they were trying to one up each other, more like they were proving their kids were good together. My mom let go of some of her skepticism as Karen gushed about her son. Karen also brought up that she was at the hospital with me, which started up that conversation.

“Okay, mija,” Mom said, looking at me. “How bad was this infection? I couldn’t understand the texts you sent me.”

“Before or after the surgery?” I asked.

“Pues, los dos.”

I spent about twenty minutes explaining the infection, the antibiotics, and the trip to the emergency room.

“So what happened? Why did you get that infection?” Dad asked.

“She stopped taking care of herself,” Mom answered for me. “I’m assuming you and your vato go out a lot. ¿Están comiendo pura basura, verdad?”

“No es cierto!” I argued, but I had to remember the other witnesses in the room. “Sometimes, these things just happen. I was really upset to that I spent so much time taking care of myself, only to end up having surgery. But everything went well. The surgery was successful, and I’m okay.”

I could still see fire in my mother’s eyes, but she held her tongue. It was just another argument to be had later. It was a little embarrassing, having Shawn’s family witness the tension and underlying rage. The only person who seemed entertained by it was Aaliyah.

“And after the surgery?” Dad asked, gesturing for me to continue. “You had another infection?”

“Just on the incision,” I replied. “That was take care of with antibiotics.”

“That’s not what your texts said.”

“Huh?”

Now, I remember sending my parents updates on my condition, despite the fact that they were without their phones literally the entire time I was in the hospital. I knew I sent them the text about having a surgical site infection.

Shawn spoke up, his voice soft. “Honey…”

I turned to him, but he was looking at the floor now. His jaw was clenched, like he was holding something back. He was silent long enough for his mom to speak up.

“You did have an infection, yes,” she said, “but that was a few days after… The day after your surgery, you went into shock. They found out you were hemorrhaging, and they took you into the OR again. If they didn’t catch it when they did, you could have died.”

I only stared silently, my mouth half open. My mom gasped and clutched her chest, horrified. Dad was rubbing his hands together, trying to process what was spoken. Aaliyah had her mouth wide open, like the greatest tea was being spilled. Manny and Shawn were both looking down at the floor.

“Holy crap,” Aaliyah whispered, breaking the silence.

“Why did nobody tell me this?” I finally asked.

“The fever and the drugs made you delirious,” Shawn explained, picking his head back up. “They told you, but you probably don’t remember. Sometimes you didn’t even recognize me. And I sent most of the texts to your parents. Figured they would want to know.”

Every word was like a hammer to my chest. Now that I was thinking about it, my hospital memories were fuzzy. If there was something I did remember, it was my boyfriend sitting at my bedside for days. Also, his nightmares made a lot more sense now. It was my fault.

It’s all my fault.

That night, I lied awake. Again. Shawn frequently thrashed and yelled in his sleep. I found myself wondering if I would actually wake up again.

[outdoorguyuk]

Granada!  It’s so Moorish (boom boom...Kill me Now)

Long before I got back into climbing, I booked a holiday with the fam along with Andy & Elaine (from the Brecon Beacons fastpacking trip) and their children Esmé (9) & James (5 months).  We booked an Airbnb to Otura at the foothills of the Sierra Nevada mountains near Granada in Spain.  It turned out to be an absolute gold mine of amazing climbing routes and hiking.  Kerching!

I bought a couple of local climbing guides (I’d particularly recommend the Andalusia - Guia de Escalada Deportiva (if you want it please click on the link and buy it so I get a bit of cash from Amazon too!) and spoke to a local guide called Nino from the amazing Club Cabraloca (the appropriately named crazy goat when translated - Seriously, if you want to climb in Granada hit him up, he’s an absolute legend and they do everything through canyoning, via ferrata to diving or caving).  We chatted by email in the run up to the holiday - Nino doesn’t speak English so it was a great opportunity to practice my Spanish (I’m terrible at languages but I’ve been trying to relearn since before our last trip to Barcelona with Andy and Elaine - I’m rubbish but getting there).

Lads Lads Lads - From left to Right; Antonio (interpreter & dog owner extraordinaire), Andy, Yours Truly and Nino (Club Cabraloca and all round legend)

I explained to Nino that there would be 4 adults (who apart from Sammy, climb regularly indoors, along with me having done a bit of rock climbing as a kid), Lenora (age 7 - an absolute beast), Esmé (9 - who has done a bit of bouldering indoors), Autumn (3 - who has done a bit of bouldering indoors but mainly will be climbing for our entertainment *please don’t call social services) and James (4 months, who most likely won’t be up for climbing but we would see how he feels on the day).

We wanted to climbs somewhere (in order of importance) 1 - That was in the shade (It’s brutally hot in Granada in August), 2 - (that had grades between 4-7 in the same spot so that everyone could have a challenge) and 3 - My Spanish isn’t particularly good so would he have someone that spoke English (I’m happy ordering a few beers or chatting conversationally, but don’t want to die because of getting a verb mixed up).  Nino was all over it and reassured me all would be taken care of.

For anyone that hasn’t been, I can’t recommend Granada enough.  It’s a small city that isn’t very busy (coming from London that’s a massive plus), there’s very little traffic, you’re right on the foot of the Sierra Nevada mountain range (which has Mulhacen, the highest mountain in Western Europe outside the alps as well as the most Southern ski resort) and some ace beaches (the lesser known Costa Tropical) which don’t suffer the hordes of people and Brits that other coasts nearby do.  Plus the Alhambra, Nasrid Palace & Generalife Gardens are truly spectacular.

The Nasrid Palace, presented to you by Big L

We spent a few days checking out the area, visiting the tourist spots, going to the beach, lounging around our pool and BBQing (with some drinking thrown in too), but also scoped out some climbing routes on a hike too.  For those not in the know, Los Cahorros is a fantastic trail of rope bridges, rivers and stunning views through a gorge and mountainsides.  It’s also famous for having some incredible climbing routes, so we had a good old hike around to check it out.

A hill at the start of Los Cahorros

It’s always a good idea to set off early when the days get so hot so we did most of our hiking in the morning to head home at around 2.  The hike is really fun and family friendly with plenty of access to mountain run off water (I always bring my Sawyer Filter with me wherever I go where I might run out of water, despite the several litres of frozen water we had with us, as it’s ace just to fill up whenever you need.  Super handy, very light, connects to a regular bottle and lasts forever. link on image below).

Los Cahorros only has about 300m of elevation across the hike so is family friendly whilst being hard enough work when Elaine was carrying James and I was mainly carrying Autumn.  

Lunch in a nice little cave

Anyway...it’s really cool with a load of rope bridges, stunning scenery, great access to water, lots of shade & amazing climbing routes.  Do it.

Next up on the list was hooking up with Nino.  Unfortunately Antonio, Nino’s buddy and translator couldn’t make the Thursday so we rescheduled for Friday.  No biggie, as we had a lazy day by the pool but come Friday we were all super hyped to get on some rock.  

We met Nino in the Lidl car park near the main Decathlon (I love Decathlon) and had a good laugh about my obscene amount of emails I had sent Nino.  He had been very patient and was just as nice in person as he was on email.  His mate Antonio would be our translator as Nino’s English was similar to my Spanish, and Antonio came with the added bonus of his dog who was epic.  She was a jet black Belgian shepherd and the kids were super hyped as they were missing Ripley (our Sproodle).

After a quick drive to Alfacar (there are loads of routes within a very short drive of Granada) we found our wall.  After a pretty steep hike up the hill through some trees (I was a little worried about Elaine as she had James strapped to her chest, but she’s an absolute machine and didn’t seem phased at all) we got to a really nice and shady ledge below our climbing spot.

Autumn kicking back at basecamp (poser)

All the gear, all the ideas (Nino & Antonio, at least)

Sammy, checking out the photos, being stalked by the dog

After setting up, Nino asked who wanted to go first - before he’d even had the chance to finish the sentence, Lenora was up and putting on a harness whilst simultaneously saying ‘I will’ in a manner that suggested this wasn’t up for discussion.  Within minutes, she had blasted her way up the first route (route 8 of el Sector del Esconchón in the Guia de Escalada en Alfacar Granada, if you’re interested) and cockily confirmed that it was easy.  

Lenora (just turned 7) before ‘warming up on an easy route’ - her words not mine

Esmé and Autumn found it a bit trickier and only made it half way up, but Esmé doesn’t climb as much and Autumn is only 3.  To give her credit, she got a good 8 metres up and it’s her first time climbing outdoors.  We all had a good laugh when Autumn rolled over onto her back, hanging from the rope and started shouting “I can’t roll over!  I can’t roll over!”.  Please don’t call social services.

Like a beetle on it’s back (Autumn, 3 years old)

I normally belay with a Black Diamond ATC Guide (linked to Amazon) but Antonio got me on a Grigri+ for the first time and it felt a bit odd to use.  Paying out the rope was a little more tricky but I appreciated the extra safety feature knowing that it auto locks if someone is belaying me and not paying attention (having 4 kids with us, that’s quite possible too).  I’m still in two minds about which I prefer to use, but then redundancy is key in climbing and the GriGri definitely offers a greater level of safety.

Esmé getting involved

Sammy had a good old crack at the route and managed to top out, but freaked a bit when she saw the view.  It’s a bit different to an indoor wall, when you’re already 1350m up, the 30m feels a lot higher.

Nino and Antonio started planning out the more challenging routes once they’d gauged our abilities on the warm up route.  They put up a harder route (route 5) which Elaine and Andy promptly powered through, followed by me.  It was a challenging route (a V+ in the local grades, which according to the guidebook and the UKC website which have a conversion chart shows the local grades being two lower than normal French grades, so this would have been a 6a+ apparently).

Andy!

Esmé having a crack at the second route with Andy on belay

Not one to be outdone, Lenora got tied in and had a shot at the harder route.  I wasn’t sure how far up she’d get as it wasn’t particularly easy and she’s still only small.  Of course, she flipped the beast mode switch and absolutely crushed it.  

She never fails to amaze me.  Big L went up the wall like a rat up a drain pipe & both our guides were super impressed by how brave she was.  Putting in all those hours at YonderE17 and the Arch obviously paid off.  Things were going really well until Lenora reached up into hold (in the side of the big rock in the picture above and got a nasty surprise.

Lenora topping out but getting a nasty surprise

There was a really spiky bush in the rock which Lenora put her hand right in to, so the pain combined with a sudden realisation that she was super high up freaked her out.  She wanted to come down right away, but was pretty gripped so lost her concentration.  Usually at the Reach and Castle climbing centres (which I think are about 15 metres) she loves abseiling down, with whoops of joy and wild/possibly real claims that she’s a ninja/special forces etc.  Things were a bit different here, with the wall not being as flat as in a climbing centre what with overhangs and the risk of other spiky plants.  It all got a bit much for her but we finally got her down.  Nino was great and climbed over to her, got her to relax a bit and then things were fine.

Nino helping Lenora find her Zen 

Meanwhile, Antonio had set up a much harder route (route 2 in the guide) along with changing the first easy route over a few metres into a similarly hard route (route 7).  Elaine had a crack at the hardest route and despite having the background noise of a crying 5 month old baby James being held by Andy, a mildly hysteric Lenora, along with Autumn and Esmé arguing over who was more of a unicorn, managed to focus and get on with it.

Elaine, getting stuck in

After Elaine got down, the kids were getting a bit grumpy so I helped Elaine and Sammy get them all back to the comfort of the air con in the cars (and iPads) so that Andy and I could have a crack at the last routes before helping Nino and Antonio Pack up.

Where’s Wally?  I’m on there somewhere (shots from the cars)

Me, topping out on route 2 - loads of fun & a bit of a challenge.  Great shot by Andy

The view over Granada from Alfacar

All in all it was a great day.  I thoroughly enjoyed the routes - the final two routes were the most challenging and in very different ways, but I think we could have pushed it up a grade looking back even.  The view over Granada was spectacular and the size of the mountains is really humbling.  To give context, Alfacar (a low to medium size mountain) from where we parked the car, was starting at around 1300m, which is roughly the height of Ben Nevis (the highest peak in the UK at 1345m) with the peak topping out at around 1400m.  

I’d love to get back to the area again for more exploration - apparently Autumn is ideal as it’s still nice and warm, but not so punishingly hot.  This opens up a number of walls that don’t have shade at the bottom, so that would be nice.

All in all, I can thoroughly recommend Granada and if you get the chance to go, make sure you hit up Nino at Club Cabraloca to save you lugging a ton of kit over whilst getting the benefit of a super experienced local guide.

[btsfaris]

Heavy Heart [P.2]

A/N: hii!! I’m so glad you guys enjoyed part 1!! I decided to be nice and post part 2 early hehe :))

Warnings: Lots of Fluff, More Angst(bc im a sad person)

Words: 2k+

-

P.1

You;

And there he was again, sitting beautifully in that lunch table.

It was currently lunchtime, and you were grabbing your lunch from the cafeteria like majority of the school. The place was filled with roudey teenagers, loud voices murmuring to their friends and lots of clatter from the lunch trays. Peter was sitting peacefully in his usual spot, half-way into the cafeteria, and munching on his meal.

You could always talk to him at this time, as he spent majority of his lunches with only Ned and not with a crowd. It would be so easy to just walk up to his best friend, ask him about the homework in Chemistry and casually greet Peter.. but you were a scaredy-cat.

Speaking to Peter always made you nervous. No matter what it was or even short it was, you’d become a mess. Your fingers would get antsy or your legs would start shifting in place.

Sometimes you couldn’t even look at eyes properly. You just never could build up the courage to smile at him, so it would be a complete challenge to say hi.

You always wished you could, perhaps things would be different. Maybe he would actually acknowledge you for once, and you’d grow from there. Even have the possibility of building up a relationship.

In your dreams, you think.

You’re not sure how long you’ve been staring at him, probably for a good minute now, by the way the person behind you groans for you to keep moving along the line. Can’t you see I’m enjoying the view? You want to hiss at them.

Grabbing a sandwich and some orange juice, you get out of line and slowly walk to the exit. Which is on the way to Peter’s table. Your eyes keep trained on him, watching him conversate with Ned.

His eyes suddenly shift to stare at his plate, moving his food around with the fork for a few moments before looking up. Directly on you.

Oh fuck. You look back down at the floor and a blush creeps up your neck. Hopefully, he didn’t notice you creepily gawking at him.

You count to five, still moving fairly slow across the cafeteria before glancing back up to see him still gazing at you. You blink a couple times, wondering if your eyes were playing tricks on you. You look around to see no one around you, and turn back to him, furrowing your brows.

His hand raises up and he gives you a shy smile. An actual smile. Your cheeks redden at this point, fingers slowly letting go of the tray to wave at him. As you raise up your palm, a familiar voice behind you perks up.

“Peter!” Liz calls, walking past you and towards his table. She stands in front of him, speaking inanimately and Peter’s eyes are wide, watching her talk with admiration. Something you do to him always.

Of course, he was smiling at her, not you. How stupid were you to think that he’d be waving at you like that? He was obviously looking at Liz, it was clear now.

Your hand immediately falls back down to your tray, gripping at it as you stare with jealousy at the pair. Gazing back at the floor, you turn around to take the exit near the front rather than your usual route, clearly not able to witness the scene any longer.

Peter;

“I hope I passed the exam,” I tell Ned, through a mouthful of my lunch. “Mr. Delmar said if I did, I could get a sub for free after school!”

“Let’s hope you do,” Ned agrees. “Maybe you could ask Y/N out and share half with her!”

“Going to get a free sub for our first date?” I snort. “How romantic! I might as well write cheapskate on my forehead.”

“Well, maybe she likes to be independent-“ Ned wiggles his brows, but stops mid-sentence as he looks across the cafeteria. “Speak of the devil! Peter, she’s staring at you right now!”

“What?” I still, looking at him with wide eyes.

“Yes! She’s totally giving you the googly eyes!” Ned exclaims.

I swallow the food in my mouth and glance back down at my plate casually. Okay, keep cool, keep cool.. Don’t freak out Peter. Slowly looking up, I spot her immediately and truth be told, her eyes are stuck on me.

My heart almost explodes in my chest but not a second later, she looks away as her gaze is now on the tray in her hands. I continue to look at her, wondering why she was staring at someone like me.

Could this be it? Is she finally showing interest in me? Don’t overthink this. Her eyes look back at me once more, and she flutters her pretty lashes, entrancing me in her beauty.

“Well don’t just stare at her! Do something Peter!” Ned hisses beside me, snapping me out of my thoughts.

With all my courage, I slowly smile and raise my sweaty palm at her. Shit, what if she doesn’t smile back, I think to myself. No, I must do this, I need to finally be brave without my mask.

A smile morphs on to her cute face, making me practically melt at the sight. Her dainty fingers slowly reach up, raising it up to match mine and my smile widens. It’s happening! It’s actually-

“Peter!” The voice does not come from my beloved angel, but behind her. Someone blocks my view of Y/N, revealing to be Liz Allan.

“Why didn’t you show up to the last meeting?” Liz frowns, making my eyes widen.

Shit! I completely forgot about that! I was too caught up with taking care of the city and surveilling, that it completely passed my mind.

“Jeez- I’m sorry Liz, I got caught up with studying for my Spanish exam, I totally forgot about it!” I lie through my teeth, praying that she bought it.

“Peter-“ She sighs, pinching the bridge of her nose for a second, before looking back at me. “Just try to make it next time, okay? This championship really means a lot to me.”

“Definitely, I will!” I nod rapidly, and she rolls her eyes.

“Alright, bye you guys.” She leaves with a wave and I immediately turn my gaze back to Y/N.. only to see that she is no longer standing there.

My shoulders slump, a sad frown placing itself on to my face. My only chance to finally talk to Y/N.. and I blew it.

“Sorry man, maybe next time,” Ned pats my back sympathetically. I sigh, pushing away my lunch tray and place my head in hand.

-

You;

It’s currently after school now, and you’re sitting outside, enjoying the warm sun hitting your skin. A sketchbook in your hand, drawing your current piece of Peter. You’ve been working on it for months now, hoping to slip it in his locker one day as a gift, once complete.

You’re sitting in the middle of the bleachers, listening to students play a friendly game of football. It was nice out here, mostly quiet and gave you some time to yourself to think about things. Or time to work on your little secret project.

Humming a random tune, you are erasing a small mistake you made when the sound of a whistle startles you, causing you to drop your pencil. Great, you think, as you bend to pick it up. You look up carelessly and back down at your sketchbook before doing a double-take.

Low and behold, there was Peter, walking on the track with his backpack strapped over his shoulders. His skin and hair practically glowing under the sunlight. His big brown eyes looking at the boys playing football, before looking up at the sky.

“What is he doing here?” You whisper to yourself.

Peter never hung out by field after school, he always made his way to the nearby sandwich shop a couple blocks down. So what was he doing back here?

You look back down at your book, pretending to scribble something down. You bite your lip, placing your pencil down and glance up at him. This time, his eyes were on you and you felt your heart start to race.

He flashes you a small smile. Your eyes widen as you realize it’s directed at you, since no one else is on the bleachers.

“Hey-“ Peter waves, but is stopped short as a football hurtles towards him, hitting him square on the nose and knocking him off his feet.

“Peter!” You gasp, running down the bleachers and heading towards him.

You immediately drop your open sketchbook next to him and kneel over him. “Oh my god, are you okay?” You ask him, worried as he blinks repeatedly.

”N-Ned?” He asks, dazedly.

“No,” You whisper shyly. “It’s Y/N.”

“Oh, Y/N..” He repeats, before his eyes widen, he looks at your with big eyes and scrambles to sit up.

“Careful Peter!” You scold mildly, and notice the blood dripping from him nose. “Oh no, you’re bleeding.”

“I-It’s nothing! Just a scratch!” He attempts to play it off cooly, but winces as he touches his nose.

“Here,” You hand him a napkin from your bag.

“Thanks,” Peter mumbles, dabbing his nose with it. “This isn’t how I planned for this to go..”

“For what to go?” You ask curiously. He shakes his head and looks at you. His eyes stare into yours before scanning your face, causing you to blush.

“Hi Y/N..” He whispers.

“Hi Peter,” You stare at him back and smile lightly.

He seems to snap out of it, as he struggles to stand up and you scramble to help him.

“Uh, thanks for your help,” Peter clears his throat, trying to hide his embarrassment. He looks down and notices your book on the ground. “Oh here, you dropped this-“ He bends down to pick your sketchbook up but stops to look at it.

“Is this.. me?” He asks, looking up at you with wide eyes.

Oh no. “Um,” You bite your lip, mortified. “Y-Yes.” Now he’s really going to run!

A grin morphs on to his face instead. “That’s so cool!”

“Wait, really?” You raise your eyebrows.

“Y-Yeah.. it looks really good! Not that I’m self centered or anything, but you made me look good-it looks-you, uh, look good-“ His eyes widen. “I-I mean the drawing! Not that you don’t look good! You always do-” Peter stutters, making you crack a smile.

“Thank you Peter,” You interrupt him shyly, putting him out of his misery and take the sketchbook from him.

“No problem..” He blushes, scratching the back of his neck. “Hey, uh, are you free right now?”

“Oh, um, yeah I am.. Why?”

Instead of answering, he pulls out his phone and types into it quickly. “I passed!” Peter grins to himself and you quirk up a brow as he puts it away into his back pocket.

“Well, I’d like to repay you for your help.. So, would you like to share a sub with me right now?” He asks, looking at you with a nervous expression.

“Like, as a date?” The words come out of you before you can stop yourself.

“Uh, no! Of course not!” He snorts awkwardly causing your face to fall. “Unless you want it to be..” He shifts his gaze from the floor to you nervously and your mood skyrockets immediately.

“I’d love to..” You smile.

“Really?” He blinks rapidly and you nod.

“You sure you’re okay?” You ask again, worried as you notice the dry blood around his nose and he waves you off.

“I’ll be fine, if anything happens, you can take care of me.” He grins, and you let out a small giggle.

“Alright.. Well, shall we?” He smiles, standing beside you now and puts out his arm. You laugh a little at his gentlemanly actions and slip your arm around his.

“Also, quick question. Do you like your sandwiches flattened out?”

What a peculiar question.. “I love them.” You answer nonetheless.

“Perfect.” He grins and you both happily make your way down to the shop.

End.

-

a/n: this was so cute :’))) someone find me a Peter Parker pls !

[lumiolivier]

The Good Old Days Chapter Eight:  The Power of Observation

A/N:  Hello, lovelies of the internet.  Always a pleasure.  Now, because I have places to be at our usual post time, I’m going to get this out now.  Why?  Why not?

ICYMI:  Chapter Seven:  Angel with an Attitude

“OLD MAN, HOLY SHIT!” I damn near kicked the door down.  But I could hardly contain myself.

 “Hi, Frankie…” the Old Man stared a hole through me, “Please.  Come in.”

 “I’m sorry…” I sat down. The espresso may have kicked in, “You told me I didn’t have to knock and I needed to see you.”

 “You don’t have to be here for another six hours, kid,” he checked his watch, “What’s got you all hopped the fuck up?  You just do a rail?”

 “No,” I wasn’t sure what he was talking about, but I didn’t do any rails, “But the girl…I…Date…”

 “Frankie…” the Old Man settled me, “Calm down.  Slow down. Formulate a thought.  Then, try speaking.  Ok?”

 “Ok...” I took a few slow, steady breaths.

 “Good,” he gave me a nod, “Now, start from the beginning.  What’s crawled up your ass?”

 “Quite the opposite, actually,” I could finally speak in full sentences again, “So, I woke up feeling like shit, right?”

 “Right.”

 “And my brothers were still asleep,” I told him, “So, I figured I’d go down the street and get some breakfast.  There’s this food truck at the end of the block.  She’s wonderful.”

 “It’s 1:30, kid,” the Old Man pointed out, “We’re well past breakfast.”

 “It was still breakfast for me,” I clarified, “I woke up at noon hungover as shit.  It was breakfast.”

 “Amateur,” he teased, “But go on.  You were getting breakfast…”

 “Yeah,” I went on, “I was getting breakfast and I bumped into this girl.  And I looked at her and thought, gee, she looks familiar.  She looks like the lovely young lady I was speaking with last night.  The only real difference was her blue hair and a couple piercings.  But anyway, turns out this girl is…”

 “Her sister?” he figured.

 “Yeah!” I chimed, “She’s her fucking sister!  Younger, I’m guessing.  There’s no way she was much older than maybe eighteen.  She’s a sweet kid, Old Man.  I liked her. But she’s setting us up at the Bean at four.”

 “So, what’s the problem?” the Old Man asked.

 “I couldn’t talk to her drunk last night!” I freaked, “How the fuck am I supposed to talk to her sober? I need a crash course in whatever the hell kind of voodoo you worked on Mama yesterday and I need it before four.”

 “Alright, alright,” he put a hand to my shoulder, “First of all, relax, Frankie.  You’ll be fine.”

 “She talked about me, Old Man,” I smiled, “Her sister told me.  Apparently, my identifier to her was the twitchy guy at the bar with the nice ass.”

 “So, she could go either way on you at this point,” he assumed.

 “What do you mean?”

 “Nice ass is good,” the Old Man explained, “Twitchy?  Twitchy isn’t good.  We need to get her to lean more toward nice ass than twitchy.”

 “Isn’t that kind of vain, though?”

 “Trust me,” the Old Man swore, “You want nice ass over twitchy.”

 “Ok.”

 “Alright then,” he sat at the edge of his desk, “Let’s see what we’re working with here.  The most important tool you can have in your pocket is the power of observation.  Read me, Frankie.”

 I wasn’t sure where he was going with this, “What?”

 “Read me,” the Old Man repeated, “Make an assumption about me and I’ll tell you if it’s true or not.”

 “Ok,” I looked him over, still not a hundred percent sure what he was asking of me.  But I noticed some stray hairs around the bottom of his pants.  And those weren’t human, “You have a dog.  And not a big one.  Maybe a Jack Russell.  I’m thinking a Jack Russell.”

 “Interesting,” he thought, “Explain your reasoning.”

 “You have dog hair around your ankles,” I told him, “If you had a bigger dog, there’d be a better chance of you having dog hair around your knees instead of your ankles.”

 “How do you know it’s not a cat?” he went on.  I’m guessing he’s trying to throw me off.

 “It’s too wiry to be a cat,” I smirked.  Something tells me I’m beating the Old Man at his own game, “That’s got to be at least a smaller dog breed.  That’s not cat hair.”

 “You know, Frankie,” the Old Man leaned back a bit, “I’m impressed.  That was a pretty good analysis.”

 “Thanks, Old Man,” I had a good feeling about this.  I’m fucking right, aren’t I?  Go on. Tell me I’m right.

 “It’s not my dog.” Shit…So much for me being right, “A lady friend of mine that I see on a semi-regular basis has a dog.  Not a Jack Russell.  French bulldog.  And he’s a good boy.  He loves when I come over.  I don’t know why, but he likes me.”

 “Oh…” And here I thought that was fucking perfect.

 “Don’t give me that, kid,” the Old Man picked my chin up, “You made the mistake of making assumptions, but your heart was definitely in the right place.  That wasn’t bad.  It might not have been perfect, but it wasn’t bad.  Remember, details are important.  There’s no such thing as something being insignificant.  The slightest rip, a shadow, a bulge, a wrinkle…It could be the difference between life and death in our line of work.  Like me, for example.”

 “What do you mean, you?” I know I hadn’t known the Old Man for very long, but he seemed more like a speak softly and carry a big stick type.

 “If you were paying closer attention,” he started emptying his pockets, “You would’ve found my gun…my knife…the keys to my entire operation…and half a granola bar. Hey!  I got half a granola bar!  It really is the little things, Frankie.”

 “Oh…” Now, I see where he hides the big stick.  All over. Probably for the best, though.

 “See?” the Old Man started finishing off his granola bar, “I told you.  Life or death.  More importantly, keep an eye on their hands.”

 “Why their hands?” I asked.

 “Because you never know when they’re reaching for something,” he explained, “Watch where they go, what they do when they’re nervous, what they look like on a regular basis.  Like I said, no detail is ever insignificant.  Now, I’m sure you’re dying to know.”

 “Know what?”

 The Old Man tossed his wrapper in the trash can, “You want to know how I figured out your mother?”

 “Yes please.” That was nothing short of a miracle.  

 “For starters,” he began, “I knew you were Spanish somehow, but your accent isn’t nearly as strong as hers. So, that made the implication that she’s not exactly from around here.”

 “I wasn’t born here either,” I got him, “I was born in Spain.”

 “That may be,” the Old Man continued, “But you grew up here.  I could tell that.  It’s the same way I could kind of tell which one of your brothers was the oldest. When César speaks, it sounds the closest to your mother.  But your mother’s accent is much thicker than yours, meaning your speech patterns more likely developed here while hers developed over there.  Not to mention, her Spanish was impeccable.  That’s native.”

 “I’m ESL, too.”

 “You’re going to be short a couple fingers if you keep cutting me off, too,” the Old Man threatened, “I like your mama, Frankie.  I don’t want to send you back to her like that.”

 “Sorry.” I kept my mouth shut.

 “As I was saying,” he went on, “Then, I realized quickly it was just you, your brothers, and her on your own, so chances are, your dad wasn’t in the picture.  However, she still wore her wedding ring.  The finish on it suggested she never took it off, which means it wasn’t a messy divorce, but an unfortunate loss, so widowed.  I could work with that.  That’s when I knew it’d be ok for me to lay on the charm thick. But that can be a double-edged sword. After raising three boys on her own, I figured she’d have a thick skin.  And she does, doesn’t she?”

 “Oh, hell yeah,” I nodded, remembering back to the story of her getting mugged with César by her side. Mama could hold her own.

 “So,” the Old Man held back a smile on his face, “If I was smooth and subtle about it, I knew I could have her in my hands at a moment’s notice and in turn, you’d be under my employ. And here we are.  That’s all there is to it.”

 “That’s impressive, Old Man,” I blinked a time or two in sheer amazement, “And you think you can teach me how to do that?”

 “I know I can,” he assured me, “Like I said, Frankie, you got potential.  The power of observation is definitely a good one to have in the pocket. The power of observation and how to play poker.  You won’t need anything else.  Don’t worry, kid.  You’ll learn.”

 “And you’re saying I could use that to win over Vanessa?” I hoped.

 “Vanessa…?” he thought for a minute before remembering who I was talking about, “Oh!  Yeah, yeah, yeah.  The girl from last night.  Look, Frankie, I see you’re smitten with her, but that power of observation is nothing if you don’t know how to use it.  Like with your mother.  I saw she was widowed, so I decided to play my cards accordingly.  I realized she was native Spanish, so I spoke fluent Spanish to her.  Why? Because I had a feeling it’d win her over.  My abilities are based on a lot of trial and error.  Suppose she thought me speaking Spanish to her was an insult. Immediately, I’d switch back to English. Say your father was alive.  I’d drop the charm slowly and understand that no meant no.  You know what I mean?”

 “That it doesn’t always work the way I want it to?”

 “Very good,” the Old Man praised, “How long until you see her again?”

 “Four o’clock,” I told him, “Why?”

 “Because,” he looked me over, mildly disgusted, “Are you really going like that?”

 “Uh…Yeah?” I wasn’t quite sure what he was getting at here, “Why?”

 “Jesus Christ, Frankie,” the Old Man held his face in his hands, “Because you look like you’re going to go fucking carjack the poor girl.”

 “I do not.”

 “Come on,” he kicked me out of his office, “We got somewhere to be.”

 “Where are we going?” I followed him outside.

 “Fifth Avenue,” the Old Man flagged down his driver, “Do you trust me?”

 “Yeah.” I didn’t have much of a choice here.

 “This is just another part of the job,” he opened the door for me, “Get in.”

 “Ok…” This felt like a kidnapping.  Why did this feel like a kidnapping?

 “Look, kid,” the Old Man followed me in, “I’m not letting you take a high society girl like her on a date when you look like a fucking thug.  If I didn’t know any better, I’d think you were hiding a crowbar in your back pocket.”

 “Can’t say I am.” I did have a pocketknife on me in case of emergencies, though.  Mama didn’t raise an idiot.

 “Pocketknife?” Dammit, Old Man.  You’re good.

 “Um…”

 “Frankie,” he let it go, “I know what kind of neighborhood you live in.  I don’t blame you for keeping a knife on you.  In fact, I’d be shocked if you didn’t have one on you. Now, I know a lovely woman that owes me a favor and as much as I’d like to hold onto it for a special occasion, I can comfortably call this a special occasion.  When was the last time you went on an actual, honest to God date?”

 I thought it over for a moment or two, “Probably…Two years?  Maybe three?  Who’s counting?”

 “I am,” the Old Man winced, “Oh, Frankie, Frankie, Frankie…You’re pulling at my heartstrings, kid.”

 “What?” I got defensive, “I’ve been doing my best to help out my mother and my brothers.  Excuse the fuck out of me for not having much time for dating.”

 “Don’t worry about it,” he threw his arm around me, “It’s admirable you want to take care of your family first.  That’s a good way to live your life, but at the end of the day, you still need to live your life, too.  Now, we don’t have much for time, so we’re going to have to do this quick.  You wouldn’t say you’re indecisive, would you, Frankie?”

 “Not really, no.”

 “Good to know,” the Old Man let out a heavy sigh of relief, “Because we don’t have much for time.  My god, Frankie, keep up.  We got just enough to get to Manhattan and back.”

 “What are we going to Manhattan for?” I kept my fingers crossed, hoping to maybe catch a glimpse of her somewhere.  

 “You’ll see.”

[ellygoesnyooom]

May I ask for the RFA's + Minor Trio's reaction to an MC with superpowers? O3O

Sure! I did a similar one earlier, with an MC who can shapeshift (if you want, you can check it out here!), but for this one, I switched it up and gave MC a different power for everyone. I had a lot of fun writing this one! I’m sorry it’s so late, matchups drowned me. I hope you enjoy, though!

Yoosung*super power: invisibility*

He is fascinated with your ability to turn invisible

Sometimes you just,,, poof? Gone???

The first time you showed him was as a prank during halloween

You two had gotten back from a costume party, and you were waiting for him to finish getting changed

He came out, and you were gone

“MC? Where are you, honey?” When you didn’t respond, he started to get worried

You were following him, and would occasionally knock something over, or close a door behind him

He was actually freaking out when you finally snuck up behind him, still invisible, and wrapped your arms around him

He screamed, and you finally returned to visibility, whispering, “boo” into his ear.

“Wha-you-MC-gone?” You were dead from laughter, and he was just plain scared

After a while, he learned to love it, but sometimes didn’t like when you used it against him, lol poor yoosung

Zen*super power: healing factor*

He thought he could heal fast

That is, until he met you

You would cut your finger on a knife, and within minutes it was healed

He was surprised, to put it mildly

One morning, you fell and broke your ankle, and he tried to rush you to the hospital, but you declined, insisting on splinting it yourself

After a long argument, he finally gave in and helped you splint it

You stayed off it the rest of the day, but that night, you took off the split and just walked away like normal

Zen is just so confused. Like how????

Finally he makes you sit down and tell him, and he is shook

It’s because you have superpowers???

I could see him bragging about how fast you heal, he’s just so amazed by you

Jaehee*super power: superhuman strength*

You two were in the cafe working

It was after hours, and she was moving around furniture to make room for a new table she found

She was struggling to carry it, so you just stepped in and gripped the side of the table

“Let me take care of this, Jaehee~” and then you just carried the thing like it was made of feathers

She was just staring at you, amazed and a bit confused and scared

“How did you do that?” “I work out a lot!” “No, you don’t, I’ve never seen you nor heard you talk about working out, or seen you go to the gym. How did you do that?” “Well, I have super powers. It’s superhuman strength” “No way”

You just went over to her and gripped her around the waist with one arm and lifted her high up above your head

“I belive you I belive you put me down please!” poor baehee

From then on, she always went to you to help her lift heavy things

She was also lowkey scared to piss you off so she made sure to stay on your good side 

Jumin*super power: animal telepathy*

He was always so curious of how you could tell what elizabeth wanted so easily

You would just look at her and say exactly what was wrong with her or what she needed

“Jumin, Elizabeth is thirsty. Have you refilled her water today?” “Of course, darling, Elizabeth should be good.” “...no, dear, she is thirsty. She drank it all earlier today. I’ll go refill it for you.”

“Elizabeth wants to play with you, Jumin. She wants to play with a ribbon.” “Elizabeth is sad that you haven’t played with her much today. I’ll go play with her, since you seem busy!”

To say he was perplexed was an understatement

Finally, he sat you down with elizabeth and asked you how you could tell what she needed or wanted

“Well, I can read her mind. I have superpowers.” “Seriously? MC, I understand you like fantasy and such, but this is real life. There’s no way-” “Elizabeth is going to jump out of your arms if you don’t let her go soon.” “She wouldn’t, MC. I know...her.” Elizabeth jumped out of his arms at that moment, and you just sent him a smug grin

“...So you were saying, superpowers?”

From then on, he always asked you what Elizabeth was thinking, just so that he could tend to her needs properly

Your powers also opened his mind more to the seemingly impossible, and made him love you even more

707/Saeyoung*super power: teleportation*

He was always so confused when you would show up in places so quickly

You were on one side of the room, he would look away, and when he looked up again, there you were beside him

You were constantly teleporting around the bunker, and he was always amazed by how quick and silent you were

But, he started to really wonder, so one day he told you he was going to work in the office and shut himself in

He wasn’t doing work. No, he had the security feed up, and was watching you

You were just sitting on the couch alone, on your phone. Occasionally you would laugh at something, but other than that, everything was normal

But then, you just set your phone down and disappeared???

He was freaking out, and frantically flipped through the other cameras, only to find you in the bedroom, on the other side of the bunker.

There was only one way you could have done that

“Teleportation! That’s how you do it!” He just burst into the bedroom, where you were looking for a blanket because you were chilly

You just stared at him for a second before grinning. “You weren’t working, were you?” “Nope. Is it true?” “Yeah, you caught me. I can teleport.” Then, you just disappeared from your spot across the room, and were in front of him in an instant, covering the both of you in the blanket while laughing he also took advantage of that and kissed you lolol

You didn’t hide it from him from then on, and sometimes while hanging out with the RFA, you would teleport around to mess with them. He loved being in on it finally

V*super power: weather manipulation/atmokinesis*

The first time you did it with him, it was because he had planned a lovely date outside, but it was raining, and raining hard

V was so sad that it fell through, and it hurt you to see him so upset over this

So, you quietly changed the weather so that the rain went away, and the sun came out

He was so shocked, but didn’t complain, and the date went on

Towards the end of the date, you just couldn’t hold it in anymore, and told him you were responsible for the change

“Of course, dear. Your bright smile can clear even the darkest clouds.” “No, Jihyun, I physically changed the weather. Didn’t you see the weather report? It was solid clouds and rain for the next 24 hours.” “...That’s true… so you did it?” “Mhm.” “Interesting.”

I can see him totally asking you to make it storm at night during the summer. He loves to open the windows and listen to the rain/thunder with you while drawing, it relaxes him

Saeran*super power: omnilingualism*

You and Saeran were sitting in the bunker together, flipping through the tv

You stopped on a channel that was speaking in spanish

He seemed confused and wanted you to change the channel, but you didn’t

Instead, you started translating perfectly the words

You heard the words spoken and immediately spoke it out to him

“I didn’t know you knew spanish, MC.” “I don’t.” “Well, obviously you do, if you are reading this off to me perfectly.” “No, I’ve never spoke spanish in my life, nor heard it spoken. First time is right now. I have omnilingualism.” “Omni what?”

You took a little bit to explain what it was, and he decided to test it via the web

He would look up phrases in google translate and have you read them off after copying the words to a document, and he was blown away when you read them off fluently.

“Huh, so I guess you can understand many languages. Cool.”

He found it came in handy when trying to get into the bunker, as Saeyoung had started to switch the languages up

He’d just ask you to answer the question, and you could easily. He loved it, but wouldn’t admit it right out

Vanderwood*super power: pyrokinesis*

The power had gone out from a storm, and you two were fumbling around to find candles and matches

He usually had a lighter on him, but for some odd reason, he had set it down and now couldn’t find it in the darkness

He had found the candles in a cabinet, but neither of you could find the matches or his lighter.

Plus, it didn’t help neither of you could find your phones

He was getting mad, starting to curse and kick things in anger

“Hold on, Vanderwood, give me a candle. I got this.”

When he handed the candle over, you just looked at it for a little bit, and he was starting to worry about you, as your face was starting to scrunch up

Finally, a flame shot up from the wick, and you let out an excited cry “Yes! Knew I still had it!”

“What did you do? Did you find a match or something?” “No, silly. I have pyrokinesis, I can control fire, though I haven’t done it in a while.”

He usually had a snarky remark to shoot back at you, but he was at a loss of words, something you rarely, if ever, saw

You took advantage of the moment, to grab the other candle in his hand and light it with your own. “There, now go find the reason why our power went out, thanks Vandy!”

“Don’t call me Vandy, MC, I will tase you and you know it.”

He was low key amazed, but of course he would never ask to see it again, that would be showing too much interest

[selinaneveahcrystal]

Going Home—Part 3

Prompt from: @simbagirl15 Marcos and Lorna feel the baby move for the first time + discuss about the family that threw him out+ the fact that Marcos said that his family was not so much his family (so I presumed that he must have had someone he missed back home/loved dearly)

Credits to: @wereallmisfts for giving me the biggest idea about Aurora’s powers and the partial reason why Lorna can feel her baby in her tummy. So I went along the line that Aurora has powers similar to Lorna, but more specific and super fine tuned that it senses automatically the electro magnetic aura of individuals and objects and she manifests them in the form of coloured lights that are quite similar to the Aurora Borealis. But because the electro magnetism of an individual is suceptible to change because of emotions, Aurora’s ability also likes in being able to change the electromagnetic auras of an individual, which in turn affect their emotions. Something like an empath. She cans till control metal, but mildly and not as effective as Lorna because her powers lie in the more fine tuned aspects of electromagneticism. So the pros is she can cause widespread empathic situations to occur but cons is she only affects metal very vaguely. That means she can bend metal, but she can’t shape it like Magneto and Polaris can, because her power is too specific.

Continued from Part 1 and Part 2

“Lorna Dane. Lorna Diaz-Dane.” A flicker of recognition seeps into the old man’s eyes as he hears her last name. “I am the wife of your son.” She prodded his chest angrily. “And you’re nothing but a fool!” Marcos jerked her back as his father swung a fist angrily in her direction, snapping his body forward and shielding her from the blow. The shriek that fell from her mouth woke her daughter, who wailed at her interrupted slumber.

“You!” Lorna hissed angrily, one hand comforting her young child, and she swiftly pinned the large Man by his belt to the wall. “I should kill you for hitting Marcos!” She shrieked as her daughter wailed in her arms.

“Lorna!” Marcos gripped her hand tightly just as the metal chains tightened almost unbearably around the old hulking man’s throat. “Forget it! You’re scaring Aurora.” Lorna snapped to attention immediately at the mention of her daughter, and her eyes fell to her little daughter, who wailed her lungs out, little hands fisted in her shirt, tears running down her tiny face as she lost control of her powers in her distress.

Marcos and Lorna glanced at each other in alarm as the glimmering black and red lights rose slowly from their daughter’s body, and then exploded into the air, almost blanketing the entire neighbourhood.

Aurora screamed half in anger and half in terror as she clung to Lorna, her empathic powers twisting all of their emotions to rage filled ones, her intense fear and rage taking precedence over all over emotions.

“What…” Marcos watched with horror as his brother and sister cowered in a corner, their own feelings a messed up jumble of emotions. Aurora hadn’t intended to impact them, she was simply lashing out in accordance to her fear and the feedback she got from her mother’s anger.

“Lorna! You have to calm her down!” He hollered over the sudden cacophony of angry shouts as everyone in the neighborhood reacted instinctively on the rage and anger Aurora had pulled out and amplified. Fists beating flesh sounded close to their ears, and screams of pain and distress welled from almost every corner and every direction.

It only served to increase Aurora’s fear and anger, and soon screams of terror filled the air as Lorna tried to calm down her little baby, almost to no avail. Aurora quieted slightly, still sniffling momentarily as she clung to her mother almost desperately. The black red lights sparked, then dimmed to almost nothing before it resumed it’s regular purplish green hue, pretty and sparkling, as Marcos cupped some broken glass in his hands and gave his daughter a mini light show.

Aurora reached curiously for the broken glass, and Lorna snatched her hand just centimeters away from the shattered fragments, exhaling slightly in relief. Her daughter turned to her curiously for a moment before becoming content with stuffing her fingers in her mouth like all babies should, and Lorna glanced at Marcos worriedly.

“We should leave. The Sentinel Services probably would have heard of this by now.”

“See what you did here? Bringing a freak lady and freak child to my house and causing all this—” The old man didn’t even get to finish his sentence before Marcos tore his blazing fists into him, without remorse.

“You can say anything you’d like about me, but the line draws where you insult my family. My wife, my child.” The pudgy old man coughed, blood spurting from the mess of a broken nose and teeth, his face sporting some serious burns. “At the very least, I’m glad you disowned me, because I found my true family after that.” He turned towards his younger siblings. “Of course, with an exclusion of you two.” Marcos said quietly. “You’d always be my younger brother and sister. And we’ll welcome visits if you’d want to.” He smiled tentatively as the twins brightened.

“Yes!” Eliana threw her arms around Marcos before planting a kiss on Lorna’s cheek affectionately. Her fingers gently touched the chubby cheeks of her niece.

“She’s beautiful.” Lorna watched quietly with a smile as Eliana’s face widened into an adoring smile at the little girl in her arms.

“Well, she’s half of your brother.” Lorna chuckled. “So of course she’d be beautiful.” A tender smile crossed her lips.

“¡No! Eliana, tú y tu hermano no pueden visitar a Marcos, ¿entendido? ¡No lo puedo permitir!” Lorna growled as the old man interrupted them again, and she felt her daughter’s fear peak as he stalked forward, as though about to hit Eliana.

“Eliana! We’re leaving!” All head whipped around to the long forgotten Gabríel, who tossed a filled bag at his sister, a scowl on his face.

“What?” The teen stalked forward, almost boiling with anger as he walked past his father to stand next to Marcos.

“Are you deaf or you purposely didn’t hear me? Do I need to translate to Spanish for you to understand? ¡Nos vamos! ¡No nos quedaremos! ¡Vamos con Marcos!” There was almost a violent tone to his vehement voice.

“You cannot leave these premises—”

“Oh yeah? Try me. We’re nineteen, way past the legal age to make a living outside without your help, thank you very much.” Gabriel snapped. “I will not have you insult El hermano and his child in front of me no longer! Puedes negarme todo lo que me importa, ¡todavía voy con Marcos!” Lorna stared, slightly stunned as the older twin grabbed Eliana’s hand and dragged her out of the compound. “I packed your stuff for you already–”

“You went through my stuff? Gabriel you—” Their squibbling voices echoed from the front gate.

“Hey! You coming or not?” Marcos stared after his younger siblings with a brighter twinkle in his eyes, and Lorna slipped her hand into his.

“Well, who knew?” She teased, still bouncing their daughter slightly on her hip. “I told you they’d want you back. They love you too much not to care.” She murmured. “Let’s go.” She pulled a stupefied Marcos forward with a chuckle, and waved her hand, barring the gates with reinforced steel as the hulking man started after them.

“You’re not following us.” She glared back at the man her husband used to call father. “I’m never having you and your poisonous air near my child ever again.” The metal gates bent inwards threateningly, pointing their sharpened heads at the old man, before both Lorna and Marcos disappeared down the drive, with two extra teens in tow.

~~~~

¡No! Eliana, tú y tu hermano no pueden visitar a Marcos, ¿entendido? ¡No lo puedo permitir! : No! Eliana, you and your brother will not visit Marcos, understand? I do not allow it!

¡Nos vamos! ¡No nos quedaremos! ¡Vamos con Marcos! : We’re leaving! We’re not staying! We’re leaving with Marcos!

Puedes negarme todo lo que me importa, ¡todavía voy con Marcos! : You can disown me for all I care, but I’m still leaving with Marcos!

And yes. I used Google Translate for Spanish so it’s trash. :p

@eclipsepolarisxauroraborealis

And we’re done with this prompt! Hope it meets expectations. Again xD I actually wrote this while at work so 😂😂😂

[dear-mrs-otome]

50 More Interesting Questions

The last list of questions that made the rounds sucked, so I (@cavern-of-bells) made my own list! I’ll fill this out myself later, but here’s the blank one to get the ball rolling. The rule is: fill this out and tag at least one person you’d like to know more about! Or just fill it out! Or don’t! Answer only some of them! Make up your own questions! “What kind of requirement is that”, you ask? A reasonable one! Who am I to tell you what to do? Anything goes!

1. What kind of food can’t you stand?: Applesauce. I can eat just about anything, and I’ll try darn near anything once, but applesauce slays me. IDK man, the texture just....*shudder* 2. If you could choose one minor inconvenience to never have to deal with again, what would you pick?: When your sheets do that thing in the middle of the night, and the corner comes loose and you gotta fix it when you’re all groggy or else just sleep on bare mattress? Drives me crazy. 3. Have you got any useless talents?: I play a mean hand whistle, and abuse it liberally to play the theme to The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly. Also I can wiggle my ears up, down, and in circles. 4. If you could be really really good at one thing, what would it be?: I always wanted to be a dancer. Too short though, and never did it as a kid. Too old now. 5. Name a few people you think are extremely good-looking: Tom Hiddleston. Mila Kunis. Natalie Portman. Idris Elba. Cha Seung-won 6. What was your favorite way to pass the time as a kid?: Reading. I used to get in trouble for reading too much - I’d sit up in my window at all hours of the night, reading by the light of our neighbor’s porch lamp. The worst punishment my parents ever came up with was taking all the books out of my room. 7. What is something you’re proud of?: I’ve had a couple of short stories published in a literary journal. I also worked as an editor for one, briefly. 8. What’s one character flaw in people that you just can’t tolerate?: Being chronically late. It’s so disrespectful, and just says that you care more about yourself than others. 9. Do you consider yourself to be more of a leader or a follower?: Neither? I tend to do my own thing, frankly. I’m happy doing either though. 10. What kind of student are/were you?: I was always fairly good, though I have a real problem with procrastination.  11. Butterfly effect question! Has there ever been a seemingly minor decision you’ve made (at the time) that ended up having a profound influence on your life?: On a whim, I sent a Myspace (remember that?) message to my old dorm friend from college years after graduation, a boy who lived on the floor above me and who I spent most of my freshman year pining after his roommate. When we finally connected, ostensibly for coffee just to catch up, he asked me if I wanted to actually go to coffee, or if I wanted to take a chance on the ‘Mystery Option’, as he put it.

I chose the Mystery Option, and we’ve been together for 11 years now.

12. Name your most irrational fear/aversion: I hate anything related to parasites. Like, run screaming from the room if they’re in a movie or on TV. I still haven’t been able to watch any Aliens movie. 13. Are there any fictional characters you find especially relatable?: Jane Foster, from the Marvel cinematic universe. She’s earnest and awkward and passionate and smart, and I love her so, so much. 14. If you drink, what kind of drunk are you? Alternatively, what sort of person are you at parties?: I’m usually a happy drunk, who gets up to shenanigans.  15. Do you fall in love easily? Or does it usually take a long time for you to trust someone?: It takes me a long time. All of the men who’ve confessed to me have done so so? Fast? And I’m just...really? I never can reciprocate right away. 16. Would you rather have one close friend or 100 casual friends?: One close friend is worth a thousand casuals. 17. Do you consider yourself to be more of a slob or a neat-freak?: A bit of both. When it comes to certain things I’m a chaotic mess, and other things I’m a complete organizational neat freak. It’s mostly just a matter of how important it is to me. That being said, I can’t abide clutter for long. After awhile I lose my GD mind and have to straighten things up. 18. Describe a place (imaginary or real) that you would find incredibly cozy: An overstuffed window seat in an old Victorian manor, with a view of a rainstorm outside, with a pot of tea and a good book in hand. 19. Do you have kids? If not, do you want them someday?: I have 3. One is thirteen, one is six, and one is two. 20. What was your favorite book as a child? Beauty, by Robin McKinley 21. Name one thing you just don’t get what all the hype is about: 50 Shades of Gray. And all of the Transformers movies, those look awful. 22. Name one thing that you think is tragically underrated: Being alone. Driving a fast car on a warm summer’s night on a windy country road, with the windows down, radio up, just me and my thoughts and my hair loose in the wind. It’s one of my favorite things in the world. 23. If you had to be glued to a person for a month, real or fictional (who you have never met), who would you choose?: Barack Obama. I think he probably would make for fascinating conversation, and he’d handle the entire situation with grace and aplomb. 24. What’s something you’d like the chance to do someday?: Take a very specific trip in Asia - fly in to Sapporo, ride the trains and such south through Japan, and take a ferry from Osaka to Busan, to fly home from Seoul. We have tentative plans for 2019, let’s see if those pan out! 25. Do you typically speak your mind when you have a controversial opinion? Or do generally prefer to not rock the boat?: I tend to keep my opinions to myself, unless I feel pretty comfortable with the people I’m talking to. I don’t handle conflict well. 26. What’s the dumbest fad you’ve been caught up in?: Oh man, I tend to avoid most but...in the early aughts I had a terrible haircut, long in the front and super short and spiky in the back, and I thought it was so punk and cool. 27. What’s something you thought was cool as a kid/adolescent, but now cringe at yourself for?: See the above answer ^ 28. What’s a trait you consider to be very admirable?: People who can make small talk easily. My husband is one of those, and I usually just stand back and watch in awe as he makes anyone comfortable in about ten seconds flat. He’s a champion schmoozer. 29. Is there a particular kind of item people always tend to give you as gifts? (For instance, people always get you things with ducks on them because you like ducks, etc.): People always default to kitchen gadgets for me, and I’m 100% ok with this. I have the best stocked kitchen I know. 30. Do you speak multiple languages? Which ones?: Sadly, no. I can still speak a smattering of French and Spanish, but nothing resembling conversational fluency. 31. Would you rather live in the big city or the countryside?: Sometimes both. I love the outdoors and the silence and solitude of it all, especially a thick mossy forest of towering fir trees. (I blame being from the Northwest) But at the same time, I love the energy of a city and all the experiences you can have there. I’d die without new restaurants to try, or having a plethora of grocery stores to find whatever obscure ingredient I want from. 32. Has there ever been something you were certain you’d hate, but ended up loving?: Snorkeling. I am a passable swimmer at best, and deep water scares me, but there was just so much to look at! And TURTLES! I was too busy looking at everything to be even remotely nervous. 33. Do you mind being the center of attention, or do you prefer the spotlight to be on someone else?: Absolutely not. I’d rather crawl into a hole and die - I leave making a spectacle of himself to Mr. Otome, and I just watch with amusement from the sidelines. 34. Favorite holiday?: Halloween, all the way. We go big, decorate like mad, have a huge party, get hundreds of trick or treaters. I LOVE IT ALL. 35. Are you a more go-with-the-flow type of person, or do you need to have things planned meticulously?: I’m a planner, at least for the big picture. I can fudge the details but I gotta have a framework or I go crazy. 36. Is there something you loved so much you wish you could forget it and experience it all over again? (A tv show, book, series–anything.) : I wish I could experience Mass Effect all over again, from the start. I’d still fall in love with my awkward digital alien husband Garrus, I know, but it’d be nice to do it all fresh. 37. What hobbies do you have?: I cook and bake, obviously. I sew, do a bit of cosplay, and I knit. I read anything I can get my hands on, run semi-regularly, and also enjoy writing.  38. If you could have a superpower, but it was only mildly useful, what ability would you want to have?: The ability to find lost things. I’m not even talking Important Stuff like the Ark of the Covenant or Amelia Earhart - I’d just like to reliably know where the eff I put my car keys most days. 39. Something people are always surprised to learn about you: That I can sing so well. My speaking voice is meh and one of the things I like the least about myself, so when I do sing people are always shocked. 40. Something that took you way too long to figure out: That you have to live life for yourself. You can’t go about it deferring to other people’s whims or wishes - and there’s a time and a place to put your foot down and say, enough. There’s a difference between looking out for yourself, and being selfish.  41. Worst injury you’ve had? I’ve lived a pretty charmed life in this department. Maybe the time my little brother broke two of my fingers as a kid, smashing them with a rock. 42. Any morbid fascinations?: Serial killers and true crime stories. It’s awful and I cringe, but I love listening to those sorts of podcasts while I knit. 43. Describe your sense of humor: Dry and sarcastic. I’m the one who’s quiet for an entire conversation, and then comes in at the end with the cutting remark that has everyone both laughing and wondering where the heck I’d been the whole time. 44. If you had to be born in another era/place, which would you choose?: Honestly, as romantic as the past sounds, I know objectively how awful it all was for one reason or another. Whether it’s because health care was a joke, or women were treated horribly...but if I could have a perfect, romanticized version of the past, I’d say maybe 9th or 10th century Scandinavia. I love Vikings and Norse mythology. 45. Something you are irredeemably bad at: Opening beer bottles. I haven’t the foggiest clue why, but I always have to have someone else do it, or else I’ll end up wearing most of it. 46. Something that sucked but you’re glad you went through: My first marriage. It didn’t even suck for any dramatic reason, it was just a bad decision and a mistake for the both of us, a couple of dumb kids - but like all of the best sorts of mistakes I learned an inconceivable amount, about myself and life. And I got a pretty killer son out of it. I’d never trade a sad day of it for anything. 47. Would you rather have a really godawful ugly tattoo in a place that is only slightly inconvenient to conceal with clothing (upper arm, thigh, etc.), or the coolest, most beautiful tattoo ever in the middle of your face? (Neither tattoo can be removed or concealed with makeup, and the ugly tattoo will deeply offend anyone who sees it.): Ugly tattoo all the way, I think. I could always have it modified later maybe? 48. Are you more of an optimist or a pessimist?: I think I’m pretty optimistic actually. Or maybe just realistic. I don’t get flustered or worked up over much, because I definitely tend towards the ‘I’ve done what I can - what happens now will happen and there’s no sense wasting energy worrying over what I personally can’t change.’ 49. What would be the most flattering compliment someone could give you?: Compliment me on something I chose, or thought, or created. Compliments on looks are meaningless, since they’re entirely out of your control. 50. Something you feel people often misunderstand about you: I’m always labeled the quiet one, and some people let that mistakenly translate to apathy or disinterest.

A lot of the people I’d tag were already done, but I’d like to see answers from @deathatintervals @catchthespade @amigoingbananas and @fooljshgirl

[mara-the-cactupus]

Let’s Hit the Highway at Warp Speed - 2

“Spock, this is Uhura; Uhura, this is Spock.” Jim rubbed his hands against his shirt anxiously, glancing back and forth between the two of them. Then he turned to Nyota. “Tell me you’re seeing him too,” he whispered breathlessly.

“Um, yeah, I see a guy in your barn,” muttered Nyota, rolling her eyes.

“The ears,” hissed Jim. “Look at his ears! Are they pointy?”

“As you have previously confirmed, my ears are, in fact, pointy,” supplied Spock, looking mildly embarrassed.

“Oh, yeah, sorry about that,” said Jim, causing Spock to blush a delicate green. “You know how I am when I’ve just woken up,” he added, seeing Nyota’s raised eyebrow. “He freaked me out, I grabbed his ear, let’s just say that it is definitely, 100%, attached to his head.”

- 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - (ao3) -

“You drove here, and you know that you’re drunk?” she asked accusingly, when they’d rounded the corner to find Jim’s battered old pickup truck parked by the side of the road.

“I told you, I only had a few drinks, and that was hours ago,” Jim replied defensively, raising his hands in surrender.

“Fine. But I’m driving.”

He tossed her the keys in response. “Be careful with her, okay? I just started working on her engine again.”

“When have I ever not been careful with anything?” asked Nyota, smiling primly. She swung open the door and hopped in, sliding the keys into the ignition as Jim scrambled around to the other side of the truck.

“Ouch, as I recall, you’ve never been very careful with my heart,” he grinned.

She didn’t dignify that with a response, instead punctuating the silence with a rumble of the engine. Jim slammed the passenger side door, and they were off.

- - -

Dawn was starting to creep into the sky as they made their way up the dusty private drive and slowed to a halt. The cornfield stretched lazily around the borders of the farmhouse’s scraggly yellow lawn; from the ground, if she didn’t know any better, Nyota would never have been able to tell that deep within that maze of corn, the stalks had been trimmed to form a series of winding pathways with geometric precision. As they reached the end of the drive, she found the pathway blocked by several cars in various states of repair, all parked haphazardly in front of the large barn.

“Come on, he’s just in there,” said Jim, when Nyota hesitated. “I had to move all my stuff out here so he could hide his spaceship inside.” She glanced over at Jim, squinting as though searching for some slight indication that he was joking, but when he continued to look at her with sincerity in his eyes, she huffed a sigh and turned the key to the ignition. The headlights turned off, throwing them into silent darkness.

“No, you don’t want to freak him out, okay?” Jim insisted hurriedly, as Nyota pulled out her pepper spray and held it at the ready. She cast a wary glare in his direction, but complied, letting her arms relax.

“I’m warning you, any funny business and I’m using this pepper spray on you,” she threatened.

Her phone buzzed once, and she quickly flicked it open to respond.

She took a deep breath. “Okay. Lead the way.”

As they got closer, they could see that there was light emanating from the cracks between the barn’s doors; whoever was inside would have the advantage, as the pair were momentarily blinded.

“Whatever you do, don’t freak out, okay?” said Jim, and then he pounded a cautious fist against the door. “Hey, Spock, could you unlock the door? It’s just me, I brought a friend but it’s cool, you can trust her.”

The door unlatched, and then swung outwards, revealing...

A human. In robes. “Greetings,” he said, in a smooth, neutral-sounding voice.

“Hi,” said Nyota warily.

“Spock, this is Uhura; Uhura, this is Spock.” Jim rubbed his hands against his shirt anxiously, glancing back and forth between the two of them. Then he turned to Nyota. “Tell me you’re seeing him too,” he whispered breathlessly.

“Um, yeah, I see a guy in your barn,” muttered Nyota, rolling her eyes.

“The ears,” hissed Jim. “Look at his ears! Are they pointy?”

“As you have previously confirmed, my ears are, in fact, pointy,” supplied Spock, looking mildly embarrassed.

“Oh, yeah, sorry about that,” said Jim, causing Spock to blush a delicate green. “You know how I am when I’ve just woken up,” he added, seeing Nyota’s raised eyebrow. “He freaked me out, I grabbed his ear, let’s just say that it is definitely, 100%, attached to his head.”

“Great,” said Nyota, pressing her fingertips against her temples. “You grabbed his ear. ...yeah, I’m gonna need more explanation than that.”

“The spaceship!” exclaimed Jim, pointing. “You’re seeing this, right? That thing flew right out of the sky and put a dent in my cornfield.”

“Apologies for my rudimentary landing,” said Spock, his voice still politely neutral. “I am accustomed to flying over desert terrain, and did not anticipate the presence of crops at the landing sight. Indeed, I was surprised to have been directed to such a heavily vegetated area at all, at least until I understood the mistake.”

“Yeah, sorry about that too,” Jim winced. “I just thought it was a cool design, I didn’t know that it actually meant something in your language.”

“Wait, hang on a second,” said Nyota, holding up her hands. Both men fell silent. “First of all, Jim, how the hell did you accidentally pick a word in an alien language, that you don’t even read, out of all the possible symbols you could have chosen?”

Jim squirmed sheepishly. “Well, the book did say that the translation was ‘SOS,’ but how was I supposed to know that aliens are real?”

Nyota sighed, turning her accusatory gaze on the stranger instead. “And you – how are you even speaking English, anyway?” she added, eyes narrowing suspiciously. “Have you been here before?”

“I have not,” admitted Spock, unfazed. “However, my father has studied foreign cultures extensively, and it is my understanding that he spent some time here on Earth several years ago. It took approximately one week for me to become proficient in this human dialect, guided by my knowledge of Universal Grammar, and aided by his recollections of Earth. Together, we were able to piece together what I hope is an adequate replication of your dialect.”

“Universal Grammar, indeed,” murmured Uhura, her face lighting up at the familiar mention of linguistics. “You keep calling this a ‘dialect’... where you’re from, aren’t there multiple languages? We refer to English as a language, not a dialect.”

Spock’s brow furrowed, but he maintained his neutral tone. “On Vulcan, we speak a single Standard language, with some regional variation. Is this not the case on Earth? Based on my limited knowledge of human texts, I was under the impression that English, Spanish, and French are all dialects of the same language.”

Nyota laughed. “For them to be dialects, they would have to be mutually intelligible. C'est ça?” she added to Jim, who proved her point by looking confused.

“Ah,” said Spock. “Perhaps humans are less skilled at linguistic comprehension than Vulcans. I amend my previous statements.”

“I think it’s safe to say humans are a little less skilled at everything, if your ship is any indication,” said Jim, attempting to steer the conversation back into familiar territory. “How does it work?”

“Likely very different from human technology, if your own vehicle is any indication,” replied Spock smoothly. “I would attempt to explain it to you, but I find it doubtful that humans have achieved even a theoretical comprehension of Warp technology yet.”

“Oh, you’d be surprised at my ability to comprehend crazy science shit, especially after I’ve had a few cups of coffee,” insisted Jim, grinning. “...but that explanation can wait. Scotty would kill me if we started without him.”

Spock looked slightly perturbed. “A most illogical motivation for homicide,” he observed. “Should I be concerned for my safety, while here on Earth?”

“No, I was just joking,” Jim explained hastily. “But don’t worry. We’ll tell you if you’re in any real danger.”

“My thanks.”

Nyota cleared her throat. “Well, now that we’ve got that out of the way... how exactly did you get here, Spock?”

“A long story,” said the alien. “I suggest that we sit down.”

[the-awkward-writer]

I Hope That You Burn

Pairing: Sam x Reader, Dean, Mia (OC)

Word Count: 2.8 k

Warnings: Angst, cheating (it’s not very graphic, but it does get described), swearing, implied smut

A/N: This is my entry for @carbonated-beverage’s Supernatural, the Musical Challenge! The song that I chose was Burn from Hamilton. Let me tell you, I fucking love Hamilton and I had a fucking blast while writing this. Thank you so much for letting me join your challenge!This is also completely unedited.

Prompt: Burn from Hamilton

x

I saved every letter you wrote me From the moment I read them I knew you were mine You said you were mine I thought you were mine

 It was the summer of 2007 when you met Sam Winchester.

The first thing that you noticed about him was his height. His tall body easily towered over yours to the point where your neck would hurt from looking up at him for so long. He came waltzing in to your law firm. His body was clothed in a dark blue suit. He claimed to be FBI.

“Sam Brown,” He greeted you with a  warm smile and a handshake. “And this is my partner, Dean Moore.”

“Nice to meet you,” you shook Dean’s hand. He seemed to be royally pissed off at something.

“We need the files for the Carson case,” Dean said harshly.

You scoffed at him,“Well there's no reason to be a dick about it,” you said.

Sam snorted slightly, but attempted to cover it up as a cough as Dean sent him a glare.

“I don't have decking time to deal with this,” Dean said. “Get the file, Sammy. I'm going to get a drink.”

You laughed slightly as Dean slammed the door to your office shut, “What's got his panties in a twist?”

Sam chuckled, he's just upset because we've been working this case for a while and it's all been dead ends.”

You nodded and walked to your desk, “Here’s the file,” you say, handing him the thick folder of information.

Sam smiles, “Thank you for this,” he waves the folder in his hands, “You know what?” He steps over to your desk and tears the corner off of a piece of paper, grabbing a pen from his jacket pocket he scribbled down a series of numbers. “Give me a call when you’re free,” Sam said with a wink before turning on his heel and leaving your office.

Even now, you still had that number in a box under your bed with countless other things. You stood up from the bed, kneeling down. Right where you left it, sits a medium sized wooden box with a simple latch.

You take the box in your hands and travel downstairs to the living room where the roaring fire and a full glass of wine await you.

You sat down on the couch, tucking your legs underneath you as you settled the box in your lap. Undoing the latch, you opened the box and peered inside.

Inside lay countless pictures of you and Sam. Letters the two of you wrote to each other as an cute, old fashioned way of staying connected. The letter Sam wrote to you on your wedding day.

Do you know what Angelica said When we saw your first letter arrive? She said “Be careful with that one, love He will do what it takes to survive.”

You were sitting on your bed when your best friend came barging into your room unannounced. “Jesus Christ, Mia,” you placed your hand on your chest as if it would help still your pounding heart, “You scared the shit out of me.”

Mia only laughed and flopped down next to you, “This was in your mailbox, by the way,” she said, taking a white envelope out of her sweatshirt pocket.

Taking the letter from her you sigh, “So you’re going through my mail now, huh?”

Mia stole the remote from your hand, “You don’t care. You love me.”

“No, I’m just stuck with you,” you tease. You slip your finger under the loose corner of the envelope, tearing it open. A sheet of lined paper was folded up inside, both sides filled with black ink.

“Whoa,” Mia breathed from your side. She lay her chin on your shoulder, “Who wrote you a novel?”

You almost didn’t want to tell her, afraid that she would freak out on you. “Uhm,” you fumble for the right words.

Mia nudges your side, “Who is it?”

“His name is Sam,” you say quietly, hoping that she didn’t hear you.

Unfortunately, she understood every word you said. She gasped loudly, “Oh my god!” She squealed, “You’re sending letters to a boy! My baby is all grown up!” She wrapped her arms around your neck.

You gasped for air as she continued to squeeze your neck like a boa constrictor. “Can’t… breathe,” you gasp.

“Oh, shit,” she lets go of your neck quickly, “Sorry, boo,” she says seriously.

“It’s okay, Mia,” you pat her knee and unfold the letter.

You weren’t completely unsurprised when she leans her chin on your shoulder yet again, reading the words with you.

You and Mia finish the letter at relatively the same time. You’re swooning by the time you read his signature, but the look on Mia’s face completely contradicts what you are feeling.

“What?” You ask her. As your best friend, you valued her opinion.

“It’s nothing, mija,” Mia said.

“No, no, no,” you tsk. “You never speak Spanish unless you’re really angry, worked up, worried or stressed,” you say, looking at your best friend. “What is it?”

Mia takes a deep breath, “This Sam character seems pretty great,” she says.

“But?” You are awaiting the flip side to her statement.

“Be careful with that one, love,” she said. “He will do what it takes to survive.”

You were mildly surprised by her words, “What do you mean?

Mia takes a deep breath and grasps your hand in hers, “I’m saying, mija, that he seems like the kind of guy that would do anything and everything, no matter the consequences.”

Ever since that day, you made it your mission to get the stamp of approval from your best friend. But no matter what you did, or showed her, she never seemed to like him. Now you see why.

You and your words flooded my senses Your sentences left me defenseless You built me palaces out of paragraphs You built cathedrals I’m re-reading the letters you wrote me I’m searching and scanning for answers In every line for some kind of sign And when you were mine The world seemed to burn Burn

You filed through the box, watching the happy smiles of you and Sam pass by. Finally, your fingers land on the letter you were looking for. The very first one.

You set the box on the coffee table and take a sip of your wine. You unfold the paper and scan the words. This time, as you read the letter, you see what Mia saw all those years ago. You see a man that was willing to do anything and everything to get his way, even if that includes sleeping with a witness in order to get a testimony while they’re both married.

You didn’t know what to do, so you picked up your phone and dialed the only person you knew would be there for you no matter what.

“Mija,” Mia’s voice answered, “Are you okay?”

Instead of answering, you allowed yourself to give into the tears and you let out a choked sob, “I’m on my way,” Mia says.

You can hear the deep grumble of her fiance’s voice, and the rustling of sheets as she gets up, “I have to go, Y/N needs me,” she says to her fiance. “I’ll see you in ten minutes,” she says softly and hangs the phone up.

You read through the letter in your hands many more times, trying to find the feeling you felt all those years ago when you first read the letter. Instead, you came up with nothing but betrayal and hatred as you read those words. Without thinking, you stood up, and in three strides you cross the living room and throw the letter into the fireplace. The letter catches fire before you have time to regret your decision. The paper turns black and starts to fold in on itself as the first letter your husband ever sent to you is demolished and erased from existence.

You published the letters she wrote you You told the whole world how you brought This girl into our bed In clearing your name, you have ruined our lives Do you know what Angelica said When she read what you’d done? She said “You have married an Icarus He has flown too close to the sun.”

Mia was at your house, seated on the couch, as promised, in ten minutes. She had her arm around your shoulder as you laid your head on her chest, “What happened, mija?” She ran her free hand through your hair.

You and Mia had grown apart over the years. You gave your all to Sam, not saving anything for Mia. And yet, she was still here for you even though you shut her out. You took a deep breath, preparing yourself for the pain your own words will cause you, “Sam cheated on me.”

However much you steeled yourself for those words, the sound of them was like a blow to the heart, forcing the air out of your lungs, and tears into your eyes. Mia’s arms came around your head, keeping you pinned to her chest. You weren’t sure if it was to comfort you, or make sure that Mia didn’t kill Sam in his sleep.

“I am so sorry,” Mia whispered in your ear.

You nodded, thankful for her support as tears rolled down your face and soaked into her shirt.

“Do you want to talk about it?” She asked, running soothing circles on your back.

You really didn't want to, but the words just came flowing out of your mouth, “We've been fighting. I want a baby, but he doesn't. We've been stressed because he got promoted and we have to pay for this house,” you took a breath, “So he was spending long hours at work and when he would come home he wouldn't acknowledge me. So, one day, I went to his office, he was working late and I brought him some dinner. I expected to find him at his desk, working, but instead, I see a woman in his lap, riding him into oblivion. He tried to get me to talk things through but I went home and packed his things into boxes and set them on the front porch. I haven't seen him since and that was two weeks ago,” a sob forces its way up your throat, cutting off your words.

Mia doesn't say anything for a few moments, but when she does, she doesn't say “I told you so,” or “I knew this was going to happen.” Instead, she says, “You have married an Icarus, and he has flown to close to the sun.”

The world has no right to my heart The world has no place in our bed They don’t get to know what I said I’m burning the memories Burning the letters that might have redeemed you You forfeit all rights to my heart You forfeit the place in our bed You’ll sleep in your office instead With only the memories Of when you were mine

With the help of Mia, you read through the letters that Sam had sent you over the years, and the pictures you took.

It was nearing one o’clock in the morning when Mia handed you a letter. Numbly, you threw it into the fireplace in front of you, watching it burn, and feeling a certain weight lift from your chest.

One by one, all of the letters and pictures were thrown into the fire. Finally, you could see what Mia meant when the two of you read the first letter. Sam was only concerned about himself, and what others thought of him. Did they like him? Did they want to be with him? Did they love him? It was all Sam Winchester and very little Y/N Y/L/N.

Mia sat to your left, staring into the flames as you looked to your left hand. You pulled off your engagement ring and wedding band, “Should I throw these in too?” You ask her, watching as the smooth metal of the ring catches the flickering light of the fire.

Mia looked bewildered, “No,” she said firmly. “You pawn that and take the money.”

You giggled slightly, “I’ll just leave it on the table so when he comes back he’ll know I’m not coming back.”

Mia wrapped her arm around your shoulder, “I love you so much, and I am so sorry that this douchebag did this to you,” she said into your hair.

You wrapped your arms around her waist, and cried into her shoulder. You were beyond thankful for your best friend.

You were the first to pull away when you heard the sound of the front door opening. “Y/N?” Sam’s masculine voice called out.

You swear your heart stopped as you heard his footsteps get closer and closer to you, “Baby where are you?” You held back bile when he called you baby. A month ago, you would’ve found it endearing and cute, but now you wanted to set fire to that nickname too.

Mia left your side to stand in front of you, taking over a protective stance.

Your heart started pumping again and beating faster than necessary as you saw Sam’s giant shadow in the hallway. Your legs started shaking and you felt weak as he appeared in the entryway of the living room, “There you are,” he said with a smile.

You were disgusted. Did he really think that he could get caught fucking another woman, and you would just let it slide? You were no longer scared, you were furious.

Mia looked like she was about to attack him, but you laid a hand on her shoulder, letting her know that it was okay. She gave you a small smile, stepping back.

You turned back to your husband, your face hard and expressionless. “Why are you here?” Your voice sounded unfamiliar to you. The person talking now was filled with hate and anger. They wanted to destroy the person in front of them.

Sam chuckled, “I live here?”

You crossed your arms over your chest. “No,” you said. “You don’t.”

Sam looked confused, so you elaborated, “You cheated on me with a fucking witness on your case. I caught you fucking her in your office when you were supposed to be here! With me! You didn’t even chase after me when I left. I had enough time to come back here and pack all of your shit up and put it on the porch before you even left the firm!” You heard Mia gasp behind you, also appalled at the situation.

“If you want to move back in, that’s fine,” you voice was low, almost a growl, “But you will not sleep in my bed. You forfeit all rights to my heart, you forfeit the place in our bed, you’ll sleep in your office instead. You can be surrounded by all of our memories, and you can know that I have already burned memory that you have ever given me.” With your final words, you took the rings he had give you and threw them at his feet.

He stood there, frozen as you took Mia's arm and left him alone in the living room. “I will see you later, Mia.” You kissed her cheek and helped her into her jacket before she left your house in her car. She knew not to fight you right now; you were riding an adrenaline rush, and would call when you needed her.

Sam was still rooted to the spot as you climbed the stairs to your bedroom and locked the door.

You don't know how, but you found the strength to keep yourself together.

You closed the driver side door, and cringed as  it echoed in the silent night air.

You kept the headlights off as you pulled out of the driveway. If they were on, they would have swept through the office, waking Sam. You didn't turn them back on until you were cruising down the highway, the wind flowing through your hair.

You had a hundred bucks in your pocket, all of your credit and debit cards, and everything from the house you once shared with Sam. You felt free and completely alone for the first time in a long time. You could do anything you want, go anywhere you please.

Yet little did you know, there was another being in the car with you, but she wouldn’t make herself known for another nine months.

I hope that you burn

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