#so in frustration i reasoned that there isnt any need to be complex in some way. look at iterator puppet design aesthetic. look at a lot-

[spotsupstuff]

Annoying bio nerd back at it again sorry

But do ancients have a spine? Because that is a very specific structure that anemones do not have irl. I can't see any other way for them to support walking upright than to have some sort of back stick

yeah man they do it's pretty blatantly displayed too

[tixdixl]

DING DONG! for the dynamic ask meme!

malleus, silver and sebek for oisín!

OH HELLO!!! HI WELCOME IN

Thank you so so much for the ask. I really appreciate it!

This is incredibly fun- and your timing is impeccable because I've been writing a little ficlet that explores one of these dynamics a bit more.

I warn you, one of these is gonna be a bit of a read, so feel free to read below if you are so inclined~.

Malleus and Oisín: This dynamic is incredibly fun for me personally because it's a bit complex. See, first and foremost, I have to provide a bit of context here. For starters, with Malleus being the heir to the throne of Briar Valley, I'm under the impression he would know of the few dullahan and their respective territories in Briar Valley as they change and develop over the centuries. Naturally, on inverse, I'm under the impression everyone in Briar Valley knows of Malleus even if contact isnt made. So for them to enter NRC at the same time, in the same year, but to go into different dorms? I'm sure they start off respectively keeping tabs on each other- especially with the consideration pre-established relationship that Oisín develops with Lilia prior to their induction to the academy.

However, things change over time as Oisín runs into a bit of a snag. See, Oisín came to NRC for 4 reasons. 3 are known to Crowley. 1 is kept secret from Crowley. That secret? Oisín's next target to bring to the other side has been identified as a student from Royal Sword Academy. And because of the nature of the situation, in which Oisín knows the location of their target but not their true name, Oisín realizes that this is going to require a conspired assassination of sorts. But they run into a block when it comes to gathering information and realize that Malleus may actually have some insight that could prove useful to their mission. As a result, they approach him with a deal: [If you can provide me with insight and information, I will pay it back with anything you perceive to be of value.]

And Malleus asks for a friendship of sorts. He asks for someone not from Diasomnia to share information and hang out with him- oh, with the idea in mind that they wouldn't need to be watched by Sebek or Silver, and Oisín would be able to exist in a space without having to hide their true nature. While the power imbalance leads the two with a bit of an awkward start, they do evolve into having a very amicable and casual relationship for the duration of their studies... or at least, until such time as Oisín finishes their task.

Silver and Oisín: So this relationship also has a lot of history, but explaining their dynamic takes less context. You ever think about what its like to interact or worse go to school with the person dating your dad? Well, Oisín has been courting and dating Lilia since WELL before Silver was found. Silver certainly appreciates how much Oisín consistently loves and respects and values Lilia, and that in everything that has happened, that has never changed. But also, thats his dad's partner.

On the other hand, Oisín has a lot of compassion and respect for Silver. They never once pressure Silver to see them as like a step parent, and they have no intention to intrude in his life or force any kind of dynamic with Silver. But that's their partner's kid. And they just want him to thrive as he grows into becoming an adult.

Sebek and Oisín: Sebek grows to respect Oisín as they become a consistent presence in Malleus's life and as Sebek learns of their relationship with Lilia. But that doesn't mean he's not incredibly frustrated by the circumstances that Oisín is in. He hates the fact that Oisín is sorted into Ignihyde, and even when Lilia tells him that it makes sense and to not press on the matter, it still doesn't sit right with him. He also doesn't like that Oisín actively hides their identity as a dullahan and that they wear a TV monitor on their head. He fails to empathize and understand, despite many of the others making efforts to dissaude his apprehension and confusion.

Oisín tolerates Sebek. They acknowledge and respect his role and his background, what little they do know about the boy. But Oisín is a very subtle and often introverted and quiet fae. Sebek has absolutely caused their circuits to short on a time with his sudden yelling. They also find it difficult to navigate their passive secrecy around Sebek, and try their best to be respectful when he won't stop asking blunt and prying questions.

[system-of-a-feather]

So we are Over It with our work at this point and I'm taking the lead to get us work elsewhere cause if we go for our PhD, we aren't going to be working here that long anyways and its really not worth it

But we've been having frustrating conflictd with the neurotypicals in our work and their honestly antiquated culture and understanding of how communication issues work resulting in it always being "YOU need to try harder" to be neurotypical magically think and communicate with the unspoken complexity neurotypicals do and its been reflected in our progress reports

And so we got a shiny paper that says we are autistic and have been talking with a disability manager because I work at a liberal university that prided itself on "inclusivity and accommodation" and so we should not be having to deal with antiquated ableist ways of handling communication differences

But honestly, we are over it and are already job searching cause our probation period (trial run for employees where they can be released easier before they get solidified) was extended due to us being out for a month of it due to surgery and due to the delay on us being assertive and up front about our autism

But honestly, our system isn't good at and never has been the type to ask for acceptance or hide ourselves for the approval of others - apparently even in preschool and kindergarten we were a stray hair and refused to conform in any level

So trying to be palatable for the few people that are really outdated and ableist isnt worth it (few being 2.5 people, but my extended work team is 10-15 people tops and the 2.5 are the people I interact with the most) for like half a year of employment that expects me to look and act neurotypical

It just aint worth it and buddy I know I can get work elsewhere so 🤷‍♂️

That said, we really dislike this sort of behavior so we are gonna call out the behavior to HR at this rate cause its really not inclusive and progressive behavior and culture that is within the universities statement

We will be semi-palatable until we have a solid flight path then bye bitch (still gonna be professional but yall disappoint me)

Anyways, reasons an autism diagnosis is NOT always pointless and/or harmful.

But seriously you know you are over qualified and shit when the disability manager goes "... you arent planning to work here forever right? You are going up right?" cause in less than 15 minutes of talking she can tell I am both more than competent and capable aside from the fact Im working with some god awful neurotypicals

[transexuality]

rhe thing about kairi is that she is so underdeveloped to an utmost degree beyond any other kingdom hearts character even though she is the POINT of kh1. yes, sora and riku's relationship is in the forefront of kh1, but sora is searching for KAIRI hes mad at riku for what hes done to KAIRI. but she has 0 agency. she is asleep 90% of the game and for the last 10% she does nothing. naminé and larxene are the next original female characters introduced in chain of memories and immediately we see them have more interesting development and storylines and personalities than kairi. naminé suffers a bit from being a female character written by men who dont know how to write women, but she has struggles and she has her own motivations, she is complex. she feels jealous and wants sora to forget everything and stay with her, but she sacrifices those wants because she knows its for the greater good. larxene is an active antagonist and she is a ruthless villain, with agency and power in the narrative. jump to kh2, naminé has become basically a ghost, larxene is dead, and kairi has been captured again. we get moments in kh2 of some personality from kairi, certainly more from what weve seen, but ultimately she still lacks agency and doesnt do much. riku just sort of gives her a keyblade at the end and then shes there to reunite sora and riku, since finding riku is the point of kh2. they had the chance to make her do more in kh3 and while i appreciate that she at least is given a fighting chance it ultimately falls flat because her character revolves around sora. her existence is to support sora and riku's friendship. shes the case that is replace her with a rock and nothing changes. and im saying this as someone who loves kairi! shes fun! shes cute! shes sweet! shes snarky sometimes! but ultimately her personality is Nice Girl Who's Nice :) and there is an untapped well of potential for her to get some depth and it ultimately isnt there as the writers have made her character shallow that pales in comparison to her counterparts. but somehow people hate her EXISTENCE for this and thats what drives me crazy. even with all of these criticisms i have with the writing i still really like her and think that she needs to exist. and yeah sure sora and riku have much more chemistry and are written with such a beautiful bond that its hard to see it as anything other than accidental gay romance but sora and kairi is still there and its still sweet. soriku shippers hate kairi for whatever reason cause it gets in the way of their gay ship and thats whats frustrating. sora and kairi are clearly intended to have romantic undertones and while yes its a shame that kairis character is reduced to this, people shit on it for the wrong reasons. theres nothing wrong wirh sora and kairi's relationship, and its been there from the very start and its not going away. they both care a lot about each other and its sweet! kairi is hated on for merely existing but people dont take the time to step back and critique the way that she is developed and written, they just go for the jugular and perpetuate the misogyny that is already written into the franchise. you can have a problem with the way things are handled, but just shitting on a female character for existing in a male dominated cast written by men is just not cute. Can anybody hear me

[yammoba]

you are literally so fucking right about ranfren that I made a tumblr account after over a year clean of not having one to tell you so. The whole situation makes me so fucking upset and I hate that people feel this sick sense of entitlement that every single creator is a completely flawless saint who has never so much as had an impure thought.

Yea, its really tough because i think its worth having these kinds of discussions. Its part of why we have progressed as much as we have in terms of media and such (which in the grand scheme of things isnt actually all that much, but ehh, baby steps i guess...) But i really think its important to keep the context of the past in mind when having these discussions otherwise any critisisms are just gonna fall flat.

I also do get frustrated people seem to want to apply the same kind of standards to every work and every person. A single someones indie project that is specifically taylored to a specific demographic is not going to have the same kind of reach and "responsabilities" as something like... the marvel movies idk. Im really fighting back a disney industrial complex rant, but I'll persist.

Its also like... yeah... sometimes a work is just not "for you" like in the sense that it was written in a way that is just not going to cater to "you". I dont mean in like a traditional demographic way nessecarily, like obviously people can enjoy things outside their -demographic-, adults can enjoy kids media etc. But i more mean in like a deep aesthetic and content sense. For example i dont write my stuff with straight people in mind.

I dont know... like... i think Rent the movie/musical is problematic. I dont like it. It doesnt appeal to me even though the idea of it sounds cool, nothing about the exicution or the actual content compels me and i have a lot of issues with how the queer characters are depicted. But Rent is really important for a lot of people, even straight cis people probably, for a lot of contextual reasons that just dont apply to me. Rent is not for me. We can talk about the ways the harmful sterotypes can have real world impacts, and keep those thing in mind when crafting new stories, but theres context to why its like that and why it means stuff to people. And even though i do Not like rent, i understand theres content in it, outside the stuff that is problematic and, or the stuff that is "problematic" resonates with people in ways that arent nessecarily "yep that sterotype is true and i hate bisexuals now". Im being glib but i hope my point can come across.

And, im speaking pretty generally for all of that but it feels important to the underlying vibe of the conversation? If that makes sense.

It is tough when you find something that has parts that appeal to you extreamly deeply, but parts that you just hate or cant deal with or cant get past. Its deffinatly happened to me, and ive had to treat it differently pretty much every time because no case has been the same. No peices of media are the same, especially when taken in context. Its up to the individuals (or their gaurdians i guess) to determine what the lines are in what you can deal with at what times.

Also its frustrating because in these types of situations (lumping every troubling thing someone has ever done into a google doc with shorthand explinations and getting people to spread it around as proof that x-person is human garbage and anyone who supports them is too) people always end up having multiple converstations at the same time. Converstations that have different needs or requirements. Like with this situation theres issues of when and if certain types of depictions play into harmful histories and stereotypes and what harm that can cause and if intent matters or not, which is a media depiction issue. Issues of how fan/internet culture veiws certain things and the "generational" descrepencies that cause confusion and hurt among people wich is a media and social structure issue. Issues that arise out of some very foundational aspects of meme and internet culture, foundational in the sense that its still baked into how people act and veiw things which is a social structure issue. Discussions of how forgiveness(using that world loosly) of harmful individual action should happen, how much responsability can be placed on an individual when so much of how we act is a reflection of our place in time and space. Which in particular is a massive fucking thing and is often best understood differently from media anylisis-type jam because there are different factors at play.

They do all have stuff in common but when it comes to analyzing what harm has been done they just are not the same...

I also just... i kinda gotta rant... i know that stuff people get turned off by is very personal. So i think its understandable for people to have internal "double standards". <personal example> i cant get down with ancheint magus bride. The way the main relationship is framed and the way the main girl is treated just kinda bug me, even though i did want to like it because the designs are so good. Theres other stuff to it that makes it unappealing, but eh, it is what it is. But i fucking love cardcaptor sakura. Damn it makes me so happy. But that series is full of very -problematic- relationships, that i still kinda think are cute in the context of the story. Sakura's parents were teacher and student, touya has a past romantic realtionship with a teacher, i could keep going, lots of relationships that in that show would be horrible or strange if they happened in real life. Its interesting to think about why one put me off and the other didnt. (And i have, but its not worth going into here) But in terms of being "problematic", pound for pound card captor sakura is probably "worse".</personal example>

But... when presenting your issues with media as issues of justice, and presenting them in a way that condems anyone who doesnt fall perfectly inline with you, its weird....... to see them..... be into.... stuff thats.... also got similar.... or worse issues...........

one of my main fandoms is one thats widely detested and i have a hobby of looking at the blogs of people who complain about it, and its pretty common for this to happen.... im choking back the disney rant but.... ill make that its own post. Its not really about "what about x thing, isnt that problematic too???" Its more like... i have a concern for this mindset when paired with using it to declare people that like or produce "irredemable" media to be scum who are -litterally killing people-. because its so often unhelpful. On the surface it tends to confuse and alienate people. It can wind up making real world issues seem much more trival than they are because they are being used to explain why you dont like someone over the internet, who may be related to those issues, but is in no way a substitute for the weight of systematic opression. It leaves fertile ground for people who are truely against social justice to sweep in and use it to explain that "caring about social justice is dumb, racism is over anyways~ actually did you know white people are in danger of loosing our majority status--". Im not saying we need to taylor arguments and speech to soften the reality of things. But its important to be aware of orders of scale and reach and other factors of reality. And its important to understand where people are at. And if you are interested in fighting for justice, and explaining the problems inherent in everything. You have to actually... do that... which is a long and difficult task. And it can be hard to articulate, and stressful. And you, or people you admire, might fuck up. And burnout happens extreamly easily, especially for thise who have to deal with real world consequences of systematic opression while trying to fight it. (And itll happen way faster if the first insinct when someone fucks up is to harrase and dox them) Thats why its important to... pick your battles. Obviously you can care about more than one thing at a time, but you also dont have to try to be an avatar of expertise for every fucking thing. There are a lot of people, and we're stronger fighting together because we can all use our perspectives and expertise in the areas that suit us best.

All this to also say nothing of the very real concern trolling that happens still pretty regularly. Im not saying that is the case in this specific instance here, but its worrying because these kinds of live or die mindsets will leave people venuerble to certain types of coordinated concern trolling campaigns that have already done real harm to innocent and often mrginalized people.

Uuhhh... sorry for rambling so much, also sorry for enabling your return to tumblr... i hope you have a good time at least xD im glad you and others were able to get something out of my nonsense. I mean ultimately i just dont want people to harrase each other, thats really the bottom line with any fandom/media-spawned debate.

[volfoss]

how about ranking bucciarati's team?

regret to inform you that ur gonna get a very long answer bc i have passionate feelings about them all! also trish is in this bc she is part of the team and no one will tell me otherwise and will also include some rambling bc it is me and i have so many feelings towards these characters and none of them r cohesive

under the cut just in case (post writing yes it was long)

Giorno Giovanna:

way way more complex than ppl normally give him credit for (i will not go into feelings on how a majority of the fandom treats him unless ppl want me to then i will in fact make a very long ranty post and will not be stopped)

mildly op (esp at the beginning with how hes kind of able to just use his stand really well w no problems altho i think thats true of most of the jojos that we have seen animated?)

i am emotionally attached to him and want to give him a big hug

hes just a kinda goofy kid and is maybe a bit not good with figuring out hey this is a semi dangerous situation maybe i shouldnt be taunting him (leaky eye luca for example)

has the actual best theme

i love how he works off the rest of the team so well (even w members who do not like him)

is in my top 3 jojos i love this kid sm i would adopt him if he was real

7/10

Bruno Bucciarati:

the fucking way his character develops from licky man to best dad material is my favorite thing

his outfit is so so so good i would die to wear it

in general this man is one of my fave jojos characters and i get a lot of comfort from him

hes just really neat and has a good taste in music

he did his fucking best and i will always love him for that

imo the way that his death was drawn out was genuinely one of the most heartbreaking deaths in the entire series and fucks me up each time i think of it

i feel like he really is the one to hold the team together in a way that everyone feels cared for and saved

def has a savior complex tho for sure

dilf but im ace

also manga superiority bc he either makes the stupidest faces or looks very nice (anime has a lot of weird animation in regards to his face) and also because its lingerie there instead of a tattoo that changes thickness and placement every second

10/10

Leone Abbacchio:

guilty pleasure liking man

i am obsessed with his vibes and wish to become him

i cannot physically express just how much i love him but hes one of my faves of all time (not obvious by my theme at all wdym)

i miss his manga palette but also the colored manga isnt my beloved but also black lipstick abba

hot take maybe but anime abba looks better than manga minus the lipstick debacle

hes so so tall and i will steal his height in a nice way

his past man his past it fucks me up

his death fucks me up normally but when i was rewatching recently, i saw he gave this tiny lil smile after helping the kids get their ball and i could not take it anymore

him and brunos relationship (canonically and out of canon too) is one of my favorites in the series

also fandom hot take as i guess i am doing those for everyone- but ppl either have him as cosntantly trying to murder giorno or being like good son and v out of character, and it is really weird? not sayign that ill do better when i write them but also like im convinced some ppl havent seen the show or smth

i will steal both him and bruno and marry them both <3

this man is beloved i love him to death

10/10

Pannacotta Fugo:

i cannot spell his first name to save my life

also fandom take- ppl make him constantly only angry boy all the time and it really irks me. ik araki did not give him 2 much to work w in terms of canon personality but its frustrating

the light novel purple haze feedback is so so so good and adds sm to his character and i really like it for that!

fugo is one of those that imo deserves a lot and didnt get that

genuinely the vibes between how he treats narancia is v interesting to me, like its clear he cares about nara but nara not doing great w math really frustrates him

i love their interactions and how he is genuinely a kind person at times

the manga colors r superior here, my strawberry boy <3

i just really love and appreciate him a lot and wish that ppl gave him more love

i keep getting assigned him on kin quizzes

very smart good boy

ALSO ok fugo did not do any wrong by leaving

unsure if thats a hot take but i genuinely dont blame the character one bit for leaving and again purple haze feedback really delves into that and why he did it

if ur a fugo fan go read it

his past is really upsetting esp in the anime i will cry over it

his stand is adorable and i wanna hug it

his vibes r fun and i wanna gift him strawberry dangly earrings

8/10

Narancia Ghirga:

this boy i am also adopting (i am adopting most of them sorry)

i really hate how ppl act as if hes stupid bc bad math skills do not equal stupid like did ppl not see the fight w formaggio??

the way he just fucking dove into the water after the boat and how brunos face went all soft and happy it will never not make me cry

he is constnatnly making me wanna cry if i think too much about him for 2 seconds i love him sm

how can anyone not adore him when he set an entire street on fire yk

hes just happy despite his past and it makes me sad i love nara sm

torture dance is one of my favorite memes from the show

ALSO ok the way he died so suddenly absolutely broke me bc the remaining team members r really just seeing everyone die in front of them so quickly

his goofy and laid back moments r my fave

i love just how loyal and caring he is to his friends

his stand is really cool and again the fight w formaggio was so fun to watch

8/10

Guido Mista:

probably my least favorite member of the team for a semi good reason:

the jokes towards trish are really really uncomfy and how fugo doesnt wanna be involved but he is pushing him to do something that makes him uncomfortable did not make me like him a lot

hes goofy but not goofy enough for me to be ok with the repeated jokes about that esp in the body swap episode (ik it was supposed to be funny but it just felt off)

his vibes r good but i wish we got to see his hair

the fandom interpretation is normally pretty good of him overall?

despite not loving him a lot, i really enjoying writing for him (one day might open up headcanon requests or smth but unsure)

hes someone id wanna watch movies w but his taste in movies and mine r very different

love how he and his stand get along

honestly has very very good comedic potential

i really like how he and giorno interact as the series goes on (in a platonic way i need to clarify that i love their friendship)

again him in purple haze feedback was really interesting

probably a 5/10?

Trish Una:

beloved and deserved better

her first outfit in the manga > outfit in the anime

actually in general i believe in manga trish superiority like her hair in the manga looks so cool

her stand her stand her stand i love sm

if u dont include trish in the group i am murdering u <3

HER CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT!!!! IS SO GOOD!!!!!!

fandom gripe is how people either pretend she does not exist or has the trish first introduction thing where shes using her defense mechanisms and acting a bit spoiled

OK but her in purple haze feedback!!! mild spoilers but how bruno was taking care of her post the ending of vento aureo makes me so happy each time i think of it

very mad that she canonically didnt really get an ending and yet again PHF my beloved actually gave her that

how spice girl starts out as a stand thats helping her thru a very stressful situation is so cool and i love it

DAD BRUNO DAD BRUNO DAD BRUNO *frothes at the mouth*

but more seriously how she leans on bruno and begins 2 trust him and nearly point blank is referring to him as a father figure always fucks me up

esp because of the resulting fight afterwards

and the very ending of the arc that ends w bruno being like bye gonna go in the clouds and look ethereal now, oh man it makes me so sad

bc giorno is the only one that knew what happened and people that were closer to bruno due to knowing him longer didnt

i wanna see how trish coped w that personally

despite being introduced not at the beginning i think her arc and character in general were as well paced as it could be!

9/10

finally done! sorry that took so long but oh man i have so many feelings towards these guys its not even funny

[canary3d-obsessed]

Restless Rewatch: The Untamed Episode 06 (first part)

(Masterpost)(Episode 05)

Warning: This contains spoilers for All 50 Episodes

Bad Boys Bad Boys What You Gonna Do

Nie Huasang’s brought his nuts, and someone’s brought wine, so the boys are drinking in Wei Wuxian’s guest house. Finally he gets to drink some of the Emperor’s Smile wine that he’s been doing all those product placements for.

Boys, get a bowl or something for your shells, were you raised in a barn?

Wei Wuxian hits on waxes poetic about the wine, and Jiang Cheng tells him to shut up. 

Wang Zhuocheng’s raw-fish-eating face may have failed him, but his drunk faces do not disappoint.

Wei Wuxian teases Jiang Cheng about his list of standards for a chick: She should have natural beauty, be virtuous and caring, from a good family, not too talkative, with a gentle voice, and not too capable. Also she should not spend too much money. Drunken running ensues.

Cue Maple Leaf Rag by Scott Joplin

(more behind the cut)

Much of the fandom has decided this list is a good fit for Nie Huaisang himself, and it sorta is. But he is both talkative and unvirtuous, what with all the current sneakiness, and all the eventual murders. 

This also definitely doesn't fit Wen Qing because she's capable as hell.  

This list is, however, a 100% a match for Jiang Yanli. Not in a weird, Jin Guangyao way--a lot of men want to marry a woman like their sister.  In a gender-divided and generation-divided society, a man’s sister might be the only woman he’s ever known well. Jiang Cheng adores Yanli and she’s his ideal model of a woman, as opposed to his mother, who...isnt.  

All these robes and talismans over the door do nothing to stop Lan Wangji from strolling in.  

Okay so - Lan Wangji is the senior disciple of the Lan Clan, yea? There is no way that patrolling the guest area is in any way his job. He is just walking around here at night specifically to see what Wei Wuxian is doing.

I already did a gifpost of the boys and their totally nonsexual horseplay, over here. I’ll just add, for sad factor, that Jiang Cheng is play-choking Wei Wuxian when they’re all on the bed, and later in the running-and-crying episode he is gonna for-real choke him. Foreshadowing! or maybe just coincidence!

One fun thread running through the young-cultivators episodes is that Nie Huaisang is legit terrified of Lan Wangji while also having a major aesthetic crush on him. Look at how flustered he is here, trying to act sober while also checking him out. 

Lan Wangji is shocked and visibly upset - what are you guys doing? This is not his busting face, this is, for a moment, his vulnerable and disillusioned face. He is super not used to what normal people are like. 

Wei Wuxian doesn't lie or otherwise try to get off the hook, which has got to have Jiang Cheng and Nie Huaisang grinding their teeth in frustration. He invites Lan Wangji to join them for a drink. LWJ cites a the “no drinking on campus” rule and WWX tries to convince him to chill. 

Then we have this lovely coordinated faint by the boys, to get out of going to get punished. Nie Huaisang has been practicing fainting in front of a mirror just in case he ever needs a skill like that in the future. 

Wei Wuxian keeps trying to turn this into a date. Eventually Lan Wangji is so upset he admits he can’t take all three of them by himself. 

Then the boys run away fake-barfing and Wei Wuxian hits Lan Wangji with a talisman. 

Steal His Agency That’s What You’re Gonna Do

What Wei Wuxian does to Lan Wanji here is definitely wrong. But it's not entirely a disaster.  It allows some crucial information to be shared between them, and it results in Wei Wuxian getting the utter shit beat out of him and never doing this again. I mean, he continues to mind-control his enemies and their eventual corpses, but he doesn't intentionally violate a friend or ally's autonomy in the future. Uhh not counting that whole golden core surgery-without-consent situation. And probably some other situations I’ve forgotten. He improves slightly, okay? 

It’s important to note, incidentally, that the Lan rules about drinking and other “vices” should not be viewed through a Christian lens. The Lans are neither puritans nor ascetics (look at their clothes, furniture, and jewelry, for starters). Being drunk is forbidden probably because it’s a loss of self-control. 

Speaking of self-control, mad props to Wang Yibo for being able to have zero physical reaction to fingers snapping in his face.

Drunk Lan Wangji

Under duress, Lan Wangji knocks back a cup of wine and promptly passes most of the way out. 

Wei Wuxian puts Lan Wangji into bed not unkindly, but pretty much like a sack of potatoes. Compare this to how tenderly he handles Lan Wangji the next time he’s drunk. 

WWX tells LWJ to call him Wei Gege, and giggles. Is this a term of endearment in this context? So far the various boys are calling each other -xiong, not -ge or gege.  In Western media, men calling each other “bro” is basically saying “no homo,” but brotherhood and sisterhood in C-Drama is often a way of indicating stronger love than friendship, without saying whether it's sexual or not. 

They finally start to have a conversation, and when Lan Wangji explains that no-one can touch his headband except, etc etc, Wei Wuxian stops trying to touch it. So at least he's not a handsy bastard in addition to all his other faults. 

Wei Wuxian tells Lan Wangji that his clan is boring and women won't want to marry him. Lan Wangji says that's fine. On one level this is the show acknowledging that he's gay, but I think he's responding in a gender-neutral way; he doesn't want to marry anyone. Marriage, from his perspective, is the literal worst. 

We don't know how he felt about his father, but he definitely loved his mother deeply, and she had a profoundly unhappy marriage, in which her husband did not provide companionship and her children were taken from her.

A note about all that: The dynamics of heterosexual marriages in The Untamed are not based on contemporary companionate marriage. Sex and reproduction is a wife's job in this world, and giving a gentry woman the option to choose her husband is radical. Wei Wuxian is the only one who dares say that Jiang Yanli should have a choice when Jin Guangshan casually tries to give her to his son in front of everyone.  

OP made this today but will totally reuse it when episode 23 rolls around

So Lan Wangji’s parents' marriage was extremely problematic but not necessarily for the reasons it would be in contemporary terms. Having signed on to marry Lan Dad, Mom would have expected to live together and get laid regularly (important for health, in some traditional views, regardless of love/no love) and to have the company of her children. Instead, she was isolated. Lan Dad wanted to have it both ways and so even though he loved her and apparently hooked up with her sometimes, he didn't do his duty by her. She didn't love him but she did her duty. 

Wei Wuxian continues to not get it, calling Lan Wangji dull and babbling about Lan Wangji’s parents until he realizes that LWJ is an orphan like him. 

A nice shift happens here. Once the penny drops, Wei Wuxian doesn't ask a single additional question - he just sees - by reading Lan Wangji’s face - what the deal is, and shares his own story to show he understands. 

This is the first time Wei Wuxian mentions being chased by dogs, which is kind of a big deal, because why was he left all alone when his parents died? 

Why didn't anyone take him in before Jiang Fengmian found him? How isolated are independent cultivators in this world? 

Tea Time

Lan Qiren and Lan Xichen are having tea, and the Lan Clan is so uptight they don't touch each other's teacups. I don't know what this thing is called so I'm going to call it a tea speculum. 

Lan Qiren is back from the cultivation conference and says the red crack plague is happening over in Qinghe where the Nie clan lives.  Lan Xichen fills him in on the water demon, specifically saying Wei Wuxian figured out the connection to the red crack dudes, and explaining who WWX is, as if Lan QIren hadn't already thrown stuff at him and threatened to eventually kill him. 

Fun fact that I just noticed this week so didn't make it into earlier posts: In Episode 46, when Lan Wangji and Wei Wuxian are in the Jiang ancestral hall, WWX says he was often punished to kneel there, and LWJ said that they heard about this in Gusu.  

So when WWX came to Gusu he already had a reputation as a troublemaker, and the Lan brothers were aware of it.   

Busted and Beaten

A Lan snitch comes in to say that Wei Wuxian has successfully corrupted Lan Wangji, which really shouldn’t cause as much surprise as it does.

“Wei Wuxian got drunk”

“Lan Wangji got drunk”

Lan Xichen takes a moment to consider carefully whether Wei Wuxian is a good friend for his little brother and whether perhaps he was too hasty in throwing them together. Ha ha ha no he doesn’t. 

On the punishment porch, Lan Xichen tries to lecture Lan Wangji in a calm way, but Lan Qiren wants to beat him and Lan Wangji wants to get beat. Wei Wuxian can’t understand why Lan Wangji doesn’t let him take the blame for the drinking. 

Lan Qiren goes way the fuck overboard with this punishment because he's angry--losing control and losing his sense of proportion--and Lan Xichen is shocked. The drone camera watching from above is also shocked.  

Lan Qiren has a few (very few) redeeming qualities, but his extreme rigidity and chronic resentment of anyone he perceives as bad are serious problems. His nephews are both struggling with complex moral quandaries as they get older, and he is absolutely no help to them in resolving their conflicts.

This is definitely...a style of parenting & teaching, but you can see how poorly it works, with Lan Wangji straight up saying “fuck it” after many years of conformity.  Lan Xichen is devoted to the middle path and tries to be obedient. But he is actually not walking anywhere near the middle path, as he gets pulled into colluding with a murderer at the same time as getting dragged onto his brother’s carnival ride. These men need parenting that isn’t so, uh, fucking stupid. (Yes, grown adults still need good parenting; watch Go Ahead if you doubt me) 

Wei Wuxian initially yells and falls down when he gets hit, but then he sees Lan Wangji is taking the beating without any reaction and he tries to do the same. 

Aftermath

Jiang Yanli gently lectures the boys, blaming Jiang Cheng for Wei Wuxian's drinking.  Jesus Christ, he's the younger sibling, could you just NOT, Yanli?  

Both boys ask Yanli not to tell their parents. The boys bicker about who's at fault and then Wei Wuxian shifts to baby voice and starts whining to Yanli about the pain. 

Yanli tells him to suck it up, and says after school she'll -- ok and I know this will be a surprise for everyone -- make soup for them. The boys immediately get back on the same team, which is team Please Put Meat In the Soup.

There's a nice character building moment for Wei Wuxian here. When he sees Lan Xichen he initially turns away to avoid running into him, but then he adults-up and goes to face him and greet him, giving him a half of a bow because of the pain, the pain. Rather than complaining about his punishment he meekly asks if he's broken another rule. 

Lan Xichen tells him that he did wrong but that Lan Qiren’s punishment was too harsh, and then in what is one of my favorite Lan Xichen moments, invites Wei Wuxian to use the cold spring to heal, but doesn't invite Jiang Cheng to go with him even though Jiang Cheng also was beaten. Lan Xichen, Matchmaker Auntie Extraordinaire. 

Then he answers Wei Wuxian’s question about his mom by saying she was just like Wei Wuxian and drove Lan Qiran up the wall. Jiang Cheng's reaction to that is really sweet. He does enjoy Wei Wuxian at the same time as being constantly irritated by him. 

Lan Xichen does his patented “breaking off in the middle of saying something and leaving out a chunk of the story” maneuver, although this time he doesn't include a flute solo. 

OP is mildly obsessed with Xuan Lu’s shoulders in this outfit. Also Yanli has an interesting sword, that's got some wood carving similar to Subian, but without the organic look, which OP only noticed because of screen capping Xuan Lu’s shoulders.  

Club Ruohan

Wen Qing continues to be pretty and slightly evil at this stage, sending magic fire notes to her boss using this talisman that is definitely floating in the air and not just hanging from a string. 

Wen Ruohan is in the mosh pit with his zombie groupies while he reads Wen Qing’s extremely vague status update and says "it all makes sense." 

Reach out and touch faith

Soundtrack

Maple Leaf Rag by Scott Joplin Personal Jesus by Depeche Mode

Writing Prompt

How did Wei Wuxian’s parents die?

Admin Notes

I’m going to start spacing out my “first part” and “second part” posts by a few days.  I’ll update this post to link up the second part once I post it, and my masterpost is always up to date. 

Also: if you want more of my original content but don’t want to follow my whole blog (not following is fine!), I keep a pinboard of fun stuff at the top of my blog. I try to post original content at least once a week.

Continued in the second part later this week!

[softer-ua]

you know what my issue with ochako is? 90% of the time it doesn't feel like she has a real struggle anymore.

her deal is that she wants to be like deku, because he's selfless and heroic and saves people with a smile or whatever, and the way the story frames it, you'd think she'd be some absolute heathen/has some mega selfish reason to be a hero/needs to do a lot of growing to achieve the saint like motivations deku has, when tbh... it's not like that at all?

she's already super nice, she already works hard and tries her best, and her initial reasoning for becoming a hero i.e the money, isn't even remotely as selfish as it seems since at the end of the day she just wants her struggling parents to live a carefree life.

she's already pretty much on the top tier of the moral righteousness scale, but the manga acts like im supposed to treat her going from wanting to make her parents smile to wanting to make the people she saves smile as some sort of monumental step. bravo, you want to graduate from really very good person to cerified angel. yippee ig?

she's got the same problem as izuku where she starts out the series objectively and indisputably good, so horikoshi has nowhere to take her character really. she doesn't have mc plot shit or any of izuku's baggage to fall back on, doesn't have any important insecurities outside of her crush like say kirishima and yaomomo, doesn't have a proper moment to display her 'dark' side and mess up like iida, no major personality/family relationship problems to fix like bakugou and todoroki... you get the point.

where is her character supposed to go in that situation? she's got no room to grow. and maybe it's my fault because i tend to get utterly disinterested when it's time for her parts in the manga but i've never understood in what area she supposedly needs growth in that's not physical power. like she's already a good kid.

her relationship with toga is a display of the other side of the coin of society for her, but again, toga is doing most of the heavy lifting, and toga herself is a highly compelling character with several plots and important relationships outside of ochako.

i think ochako is a very likeable character, she has a sweet and fun personality when i started out the series i just thought the was the female extroverted version of a never bullied izuku tbh, same eyes and all. and they're both pretty damn high up there on the moral perfection scale she's just not compelling to me.

and like, you could argue that it's a prettynormal teenager thing to take a crush so seriously and that this is a realistic problem one would have, but it falls flat compared to the arcs of other characters. if you're not going to actually develop that romance and make it two sided, then give ochako a flaw that's hers exclusively and isnt connected to deku. kacchan's problem, while kind of over the top, is an example of a realistic complex a kid with no tragic backstory might have in a society like theirs that stays interesting. shinsou and even monoma are other examples. give her something idk. i've beaten this horse dead by now but the idea that she has to grow in spirit to stand next to the almighty jesus deku when she's already a stellar human being is just weird lol.

You’re absolutely right, and the most frustrating part for me is that she does have a problem that needs attention but has never been explained or even talked about

And it is her parents money struggle, but it’s not the being poor that’s the struggle

I wanna know why they’re poor in the first place?? And she should too!!!!

Her parents run a CONSTRUCTION COMPANY

You know what would be a very stable and reliable source of income in a world were villainous giants might fight human bombs??

Probably anything to do with fixing infrastructure, her parents could specialize in solely window replacements and they should realistically be making enough to send Uraraka’s grandkids to college

So what’s the deal??? Loan sharks?? Dad got a gambling problem?? They footing the bill of an American relatives medical expenses??

THERES SHENANIGANS AFOOT, I KNOW IT!!!

[char-lotteral]

I agree with Kishimoto never trying to use the girls. The hate they get is not fair. I used to defend Sakura back in the days because I hoped kishi would do her justice. When shippuden started I WAS SO HAPPY because I thought this was the start of something great for Sakura and the girls but NOOOOO. Every time, Sasuke showed kishi turned her brainless. If you compare Naruto's actions and Sakura's actions to sasuke, you'd see they're completely different. What's up with that weird fake love confession scene 😭? It makes her look like she was manipulating Naru. JEEZ.

Also he literally had badass Tenten and Temari with cool useful abilities and he didn't use them ?! TF ?! Thank god for modern authors who treat their characters with respect :)

okay2 you know how i am with these longass rants so click readmore and brace yourselves

The way I see it, Sakura's character development in shippuden was always one step forward, two steps back. She gets this really badass scene (like her fight with Sasori and those cool ass medical skills) but is then regressed back into a pining girl in love every time Sauce is on screen or Kishi just throws her in the background YET AGAIN.

I love Sakura's abilities actually. Her brute strength, intelligence, vast knowledge and skill as a medic nin. But what I dislike about her character is how kishi handled her feelings for Sasuke. Naruto and Sakura's obsession with Sasuke was so???? huh??? it was so damn toxic and i never once understood why both Nardo and Sak were so obsessed with him. They were a team for one year???? I mean its great that they care about him alot but Sauce's feelings were kinda valid. His freakin clan died. Id go batshit crazy against my own village too. BUT BESIDES THAT. Both Nart and Sakura's Sasuke obsession was so annoying. 80% of shippuden was literally Keeping up with the Uchihas or Naruto yelling SASUKEH. BUT what irks me so much is the fandom's double standards with both Naruto and Sakura. "Oh Sakura shouldve gotten over her Sasuke obsession" but then turn around and call Naruto's obsession cute and gush about how he's so in love with him!!

Hot take but the only reason why sasunaru is "the most developed ship with the most chemistry" is because theyre both male characters.

I guarantee you if Naruto was a girl and SHE would be the one to have this unhealthy obsession who was chasing around Sasuke, the fandom would shit on Naruto just as much. And if Sasuke were a girl, Sauce would be sidelined like the rest of the female cast and Naruto would have another male character to have a "brotherly bond" with, because thats the only bond Kishimoto is actually good at developing. Yey for male characters having all the screentime and cool assets <333

And about that confession scene, I get her intentions. I really do. I understand that she did that in order to bring him home and that she cares about him but honey, w-why?? Why lie to him about your feelings?? Supposed he DID believe her, then what? then what kishi???? huh??? Some of her fans point the blame on Sai or whatever but I personally dont see why that scene was at all necessary. Maybe to establish Naruto's feelings for her wasnt all that serious? or his maturity? idk man. That scene was such a clusterfuck.

In the end her development in The Last and in Boruto was immaculate. She had one of the best glow ups in the old gen and ironically enough, her character wasn't butchered in Boruto. She got badass scenes she was cheated from in shippuden. I also love how she's finally getting the spotlight she deserves. Unlike the other konoha 12 :,)))

Okay onto the next female character that Kishi completely wasted. My baby. My light. 🙈 AAAHHH HINATAA.

I DONT EVEN KNOW WHERE TO BEGIN OKAY2 DEEP BREATHS.

Let me just establish this real quick. Hinata's goal was to get stronger because of Naruto, her goal was never to be with Naruto. She wanted to become someone who is worthy enough to stand beside him, someone whom he can consider as an equal, as a partner. She NEVER once said "marrying Naruto-kun is my all time goal UwU" (if youre one of those weirdos who interpret her character that way, youre immediately invalid, go take a hike)

I personally dont have anything against their crushes but to the point of making their personalities revolve around these guys every time theyre onscreen is so fucking frustrating. And with the way he writes their dialogues is so.damn.cringey. Like that one scene in the war arc with Tsunade and Madara

"I mAy bE a WomAn but I aM nOt WeAAKKKK"

BAAHAHAAHHA WHAT?? Everyone else gets coolass monologues and one liners but thats the best you can come up with Kishi?????? Hilarious.

If im being honest. Hinata's character is actually kinda well written. Not well executed. Dear God no. But with the way he set her story, her personality, her chracterization. She's honestly one of the best written female characters on the show. IMO. By Kishi's standards of writing women ofc. She's hands down one of the most complex characters. Her shy personality wasnt out of the blue, it wasnt a cutesy waifu trait. Her abusive upbringing made her that way. Her trauma turned her that way. So yeah, sue her if she looked up to Naruto as an inspiration when everyone else in her family treated her like dust. Shit on her for having Naruto's love light in her dark when her own damn father wouldnt even look her in the eye and her entire clan shunned her because she was "weak." She doesnt owe her family shit so idgaf what they do with the Hyuga clan. Neji and Hanabi aren't included btw

Im not gonna deny that her role in the show was only as the love interest but tbh for a love interest, Im glad her character wasnt so one dimensional. It just pains me SO MUCHHH how fucking wasted she is. Every time she's with Naruto, they always make her into a damsel in distress. They always feel the need to turn Naruto into the heroic prince. How cute.

LIKE THAT ONE SCENE IN THE LAST WHERE SHE'S THROWN IN THE CAGE?? WHY??? LET NARUTO AND HINA FIGHT THAT FREAKING ALIEN GOD TOGETHER. QUIT WITH THE TOXIC MASCULINITY. WE GET IT. NARUTO'S STRONG. GOOD FOR HIM. NOW LETS SEE HINATA THROW HANDS AND PUT NARUTO IN THE CAGE GODAMMIT

Hnggggg dont get me started with her role in Boruto. She's as relevant as a damn houseplant in the manga. They made her into an invisible trophy wife and "the mc's mother" and we all KNOW what happens to the shounen mc's mother once mc is in need of character development :) Quit putting her in the background. Give us that scene where she won against Hanabi DESPITE being retired for years. Give us that scene where she trains Boruto. GIVE US ANY FIGHT SCENE OF HER WHERE HER POTENTIAL ISNT WASTED WTF?¿

Now if you say that Hinata didnt have development. YOURE INVALID. She came from an abusive household, the shyest girl in her class, her insecurities got in the way of her own confidence, had difficulty of standing up for herself now became a loving mother of two, has the guts to kick her husband out of the house(with whom she couldnt even keep eye contact with when she was a kid) became the strongest hyuga, most supportive wife and mother, and has given her kids the comforting childhood she never had as a kid.

She has one of the most beautiful stories in the show and if you think her personality is only Naruto-kun and big boobs, then im sorry that you cant appreciate such a heartwarming story.

And I agree, killing her would honestly make me feel more at ease than continue to see her suffer because of godawful misogynistic writers. But at least let her die in an epic fight. Please. PLEASEE. She got nerfed so bad, i feel a physical pain every time i think about it

Okay what else. I think Ino got pretty good development. Another wasted potential in shippuden but she's doing good for herself in Boruto. I dont know what Temari is up to. They basically made her into another classic angry mom who beats up her husband for comedy trope. Haha very funny and original! Im not sure with her career, im not that invested in the anime.

Tenten??

oh G O D Tenten. The dirtiest of all. Her jokes about her screentime is so mean and i hate that its true ahsjhs. She was the only female character in OG who's goal wanted to be as strong as Tsunade but what did Kishi do to her?? Sidelined. Forgotten. Irrelevant. Like every damn female on the show :D

Konan shouldnt have died. I blame plot armor. I know in my heart that Konan wouldve kicked Obito's ass if it weren't for Kishi's boomer mindset.

Tsunade had so much hype when she was introduced but died down in the war arc. Madara wiped the floor with the kages. Holy shit. Not only that, but yipee! Naruto is there to save the day AGAIN!!!!

AND UGHHHH If the female characters were given proper treatment then maybe MAYBE all the endgame couples wouldve made fucking sense????¿¿¿

I think that ends my rant. Im not sure how the female characters in Boruto are handled. Except maybe Sarada (she's pretty well executed in the manga imo). But arguably they are sooo much better handled in Boruto than how the old gen girls were. And thats because Kishi isnt anywhere near the new gen female cast. I cant formulate a solid opinion with the other new gen female cast since im not entirely invested in the anime. Not ashamed to admit that I only watch it for the sunshine moments and for Hinata :DD

[lez-exclude-men]

I mean this in the most respectful way possible, but have you actually been close friends with any trans people?

Yes, one of my close friends identifies as non-binary, and two people I knew in hs (one was a best friend, the other was just a friend) transitioned, but then detransitioned to different degrees in college (the former best friend and I still keep in touch, but they went through an abusive relationship and were talked into cutting me off and then we reconnected but they're still healing and figuring themselves out etc-- long story).

I will say I for the most part feel like respecting pronouns is important. I dont for people who are clearly predators or when a crime is committed that is male violence and needs to be recognized as such for contextual reasons, etc.

I also support safe medical care for dysphoric folks; current close friend that identifies as non-binary for a few years had really bad chest dysphoria and I helped them research binding and got them the safest proper binder I could. I did, however, heavily encouraged them to find a good therapist, and that helped them a lot. Generally my stance on dysphoria is that therapy should be the first treatment option, and the therapist should figure out if the individual can work through it, or learn to manage it, or if it is a strong/stubborn type and requires medication (HRT) as well. I think dysphoric folks deserve informed consent-- to know all the potential short term and long term risks and effects of HRT (which neither of my hs friends got). HRT shouldnt be the first thing doctors/therapists jump to, it shouldnt be taken lightly, and it shouldn't be encouraged without making sure the person is both informed and able to consent (ik this isnt the majority of cases, but 13 year olds shouldn't be prescribed life altering drugs, no matter whether or not they agree in the moment). I also think we should recognize sex and gender are different. A dysphoric person can change their appearance and body to be closer to the opposite sex, but you can't actually change your sex.

I take issue with people claiming to be trans or nonbinary or something with no dysphoria. I dont think nonbinary is actually a thing, I think it's just various forms of being GNC smooshed together, and I take issue with the idea of it. But when one is gnc qnd has dysphoria and wishes to be called they/them to alleviate some of that, that's fine, it just doesn't make you some "other" category. And I do have an intense hatred of men (males), and hate when they use their dysphoria or made up gender as an excuse/explanation for violence against women.

--my thoughts are much more detailed and nuanced than that, but I'm going to continue to my actual point instead of going down that rabbit trail.

This blog is just a snapshot of part of me. And I've done a lot of growing and changing here, so some of my older, angrier posts may not apply as much anymore. And idk if I still have this in my bio or not (I did for a while), but not everything I reblog I agree with. Sometimes it's just food for thought, sometimes there's some underlying reason and I'm frustrated/angry and this is my way to vent.

My beliefs and politics, though not entirely, closely align with those of @radicallyaligned , if you want to go read some of her posts. She's much more eloquent on the topics of gender and politics and women's anger than I am and I am frequently in awe of how she manages to word things.

The bottom line is: dysphoria is real, gender roles should not be so strict that being gnc is really even a thing, female people need to be protected from males and should have their rights ensured, and there is a lot of complex history and medical stuff involved in all of this.

And really, my feminism is one of the most important things to me, which means I am an activist for female people, for which I use the term women as a category, even though this includes trans men and other ways of seeing oneself. It does not include, not now or ever, people born male.

I hope that answers your question, and all the other ones that were wrapped up in it. And thank you for clarifying you were trying to be respectful about this and not come off as condescending. I hope you have a good evening, and feel free to drop by my ask box another time if you want 💙

[sleevesareforlosers]

also! i know you’ve mentioned quite a few times before in posts/fics about how party and kobra really only met right before they left the city? and i’m not entirely sure if i’ve just missed it but i would LOVE for elaboration specifically on that. i just!! am super interested to know about them and their lives in the city...and how everything shakes out regarding that 👀

!!!! okay thats def one of the more obscure bits of my canon? bc in universe party and kobra dont rlly like talking about it and on a meta level city life isnt rlly something i wanna devote too much energy to writing but i HAVE thought abt it!

i covered it a little bit in this fic but some details have shifted a bit just irt kobras job/timeline bc its over (i think?) a year old and its short so. not super elaborate

so when i say that they hadnt really met before leaving the city its like. they knew each other and lived with each other but they weren't really themselves. party bc of like. reeducation and kobra bc he was really fucked up with a combination of dysphoria and city drugs both prescribed and not (which i *think* ive mentioned arent a given in the city? most people dont get medicated the same way kobra did and not all the city meds are bad)

i will say that they were pretty close before party got reeducated. as close as u can be when ur thirteen and eight at least. but ofc he got taken and came back Completely different and kobra was a smart kid and kinda realized that directly confronting him abt the change would end really badly for both of them. party was rlly susceptible to the reeducation and its not their fault in any way but they definitely would have reported kobra if he'd tried to make a move.

so then once kobra snapped and cut his hair and party snapped out of the reeducation (combination of time since getting bleached and like. still being a caring and loving person under it all and knowing that he should care abt kobra) they escaped obviously and had to do a little crash course in 'how to be siblings' bc until then they were more just. people that lived in the same house and had nothing in common to talk about so they jsut didnt. i hope that makes sense? they knew each other but they didnt Really Know each other

as for what life in the city looked like for them!

i feel like its kinda important to know that their parents were low-level workers so they grew up in the slums on the edge of the city. not the worst part of the city (the lobby) but not downtown or even a suburban area.

party (post reeducation) became a total model student and ended up in a mid/high-level admin position in hq as soon as he graduated, set to get a promotion when he turned 20 and was in the process of trying to move out to a place of his own actually. kept getting their applications rejected bc they didnt have an "approved reason" to not live w their parents (no long-term partner and not a high enough level to qualify for one of the downtown studios). wasn't necessarily getting frustrated with the company but was getting frustrated with not being able to "start his own life" in his own apartment yknow? also a bit of a superiority complex/classism thing bc of having a higher-level job than their parents, wanting to live in a nicer part of the city like the rest of their colleagues. he had a Few friends, mostly from work, but it was nothing like the crew and friends hed had pre-reeducation bc. you know. obviously. it was just a little group of polite, well trained late-teens bli drones who got up to just the right amounts of bli-approved trouble (android girls and mood synthesizers but only on saturdays type deal). um. probably the least bli-approved thing they did was give spare carbons to broken-down droids in street corners and pretend to listen to the ones preaching the graffiti bible. This is all actually a huge reason Why party is so wanted by bli, like apart from the obvious of being a killjoy and fucking up a lot of shit for the company, he was also So close to being a perfect citizen that rebelling and escaping is a real lemon-juice-in-the-papercut for bli

kobra, on the other hand, was about one and a half Minor infractions away from getting reeducated himself. bli mostly saves reeducation and bleaching for people with confirmed rebellious biases or actions, people they dont think would be trusted enough to take their pills basically. theyd get fed up after enough violations though. kobra was on watch as a nuisance, but not a rebel, so he got away with attempts at medication and therapy that were... kinda effective? but he was Really pushing it especially once he got his job in the lobby and started running with lobby kids. really just imagine an absolute menace shithead of a fourteen year old breaking every law he could get his well-manicured but grubby little hands on. i think at some point ive mentioned that half the reason kobra was so good with tech and wiring was bc he picked it up from fucking with scarecrow cars and reprogramming shit about them? yeah. im not gonna say kobra's friends were like. a bad crowd. they were just chafing against city culture in a very specific way. lots of sex, violence, vandalism, underage mood synthesizer use (and by underage i mean even below the technically-underage-but-bli-looks-the-other-way-bc-they-know-people-need-to-feel-rebellious-sometimes age that like. party and his friends started trying them at). this is when he learned how to knife fight too which definitely saved both his and party's life the first night in the zones. on top of this all is the whole trans thing which isnt something thats necessarily frowned upon in the city, but when kobra finally realized what was up he went about it in a non-city-approved way (hacking his hair off with a set of nail clippers rather than like. submitting a transition application) and that absolutely would have been the last straw for him for the city if party had reported him rather than stuffed him in their car and left.

i dont know how to tldr this one but like. they both led really different lives in the city, kobra being rebellious and breaking laws but not in a killjoy way and party being So close to being a perfect citizen as a result of getting reeducated when he was thirteen, so they weren't honest with each other until party's bleaching broke and they left the city and THATS why i say they hadnt really met until they escaped.

[autumn-foxfire]

Take a shot every time a dabihawks artist goes 'whats the point of bj being alive :/ now hawks doesnt have as much depth'. Like holy shit its amazing how much time i saw it on my twitter dash cuz i follow a bunch of dabihawks artist, they really be simply misunderstanding their fav chara. They be like 'i dont want him to be a pure hero' like girl thats your down fault horikoshis been telegraphing hes the goodest boy from the start.

Idk maybe its because a lot of people that ship enemies to lovers are kinda used to both people being as bad but on different sides of the conflict like shizaya or soukoku. But dabihawks is very clear cut good vs evil n that dont fit the ship dynamic so they bend hawks in their head to fit it in. Like ye it harder to find the justification for them to end up together and you have to deal with the fact that ur fav might be objectivly worse but if you cut hawls character down and say its boring if it doesnt fit what you imagined, well that just means that u like hawks more as 'dabis boyfriend' or 'hero turned villain' that u like him more as those ideas then what he actually is in the manga and thats no ones fault but ur own.

Like im just bothered by the fact that so many are now saying this is 'boring'. Like ye corrupted heroes are very fun, 'license to kill' heroes are very fun, heroes that make questionable decisions are very fun. Morally gray characters are very fun.

But hawks doesnt have to be that to be fun and interesting

Hawks started of as a child with inclination to save, with admiration to heroes and a naive wish to be like his personal heroes. A morally gray government organization bought him out and trained him since he was a lil baby boy to give up his name and his identity and to be a perfect little child soldier. He got wise to the corruption and his innocent and pure view of the world was dashed. But he still had that inclination to save people so he stuck by (though having no where else to go and no knowledge of anything else also counts in) and he formed his own image of a hero and he kept his ear to the ground ans he fought and saved without a break. Despite his innocent world views being dashed, he didnt let the same happen to his dreams and he continued pushing from inside the organization that raises him and inspite of it to do good things good way. You could still say he has naive dreams, like wanting to eliminate the need for heroes inside his lifetime, but he pushes for them so strongly and he cares so much and no matter what he always tries to save the maximum number of people he can.

And i dont think thats boring. Hawks is an overwhelmingly good character who often has tough decisions pushed on to him because of the organoization he belongs to. We are used to those kind of characters bending and breaking and corrupting under pressure but hawks so strongly sticks to being good to saving people no mattee what even if it endangers him. Theres nothing boring about wanting to be a good person and working hard to remain a good person despite the entier world pushing you to corruption.

Say it with me kids morally darker doesnt equal more interesting. Being good isnt boring.

If I took a shot everytime I saw a dabihawks artist say that on twitter, I’m pretty sure I would be dead from alcohol poisoning.

As you said, so many of them seem to misunderstand Hawks character or wanted him to be dragged down to Dabi’s level for some bizarre reason. It is possibly because they’re used to enemies to lovers ships that have both the characters be assholes in some way (neither good or bad) and Dabihawks isn’t a ship that fits this mold. Dabi is objectively the bad guy in this ship, not only is he the villain in the manga, he’s also done bad things to Hawks too, meanwhile the worst you could argue Hawks has done to Dabi is threaten him at knife point (though that was for his own protection), killed someone in front of him (whether Dabi was affected by that is still highly debatable) and ruined his plans (which... duh, Hawks is a hero).

But! They could still work as a couple! Any ship can in fanon. However for it to be a plausible relationship, you’re going to either have a fall from grace arc for Hawks (which many for some reason thought was going to happen in canon) or a redemption arc for Dabi. And because many people seem to love the “found family” of the League, they usually go for the fall from grace with Hawks. That’s probably why they were so disappointed that it didn’t become a canon aspect of his character, because they like the idea of him falling from grace (...I don’t get the appeal but to each their own).

I just wish they’d stop it with calling Hawks boring because Horikoshi didn’t write what they personally wanted to see. As you said, their are many, many interesting aspects to Hawks character outside of his brief affiliation to the League and it’s so frustrating to see these people call them boring! There’s nothing boring about being a good person! Especially when we see that good person pushed to the breaking point with their ideals and pushed into corners and made to commit difficult decisions! We get to see Hawks be a complex person and explore morality with him and these people think that’s boring?! And think Hawks becoming morally bankrupt is interesting (haven’t we got enough of those characters with the League?)

They have a dumb definition of boring and interesting if you ask me.

[chickennuggetdreamland]

I wanna know how u think skeleton monster biology works.

oh i would absolutely love to explain how i think it works

okay so personally to me, skeletons are a very. basic kind of monster. without any magic. i mean theyre just... skeletons, right? there isnt really anything that determines much beyond their own conscience and SOUL (which are not exactly linked things, while a SOUL provides emotion that influences the strength of a monster's conscious decision they do not need to coexist to thrive)

skeletons are capable of forming parts with their magic. usually in sexual situations or reproductive situations there's energy that builds up within a skeleton monster's system that gives them the stamina to keep their reproductive parts formed and whatever other parts they choose to form. depending on the health of the monster the stamina can fluctuate, so in horror's sense, because he is not exactly the healthiest of the bunch his magic doesn't last long, and it also doesn't come out a whole lot anyway

but for skeletons like ink, because ink is essentially a very... creative person, to me, i think he has an infinite sort of energy/stamina. so he keeps his body formed at all times. it's not a sexual thing inherently, he just chooses to do so because he thinks it gives him more of a shape and it makes him feel good about himself!

basically because skeletons do not naturally come with any one part or anything, i don't think chromosomes really exist for them either. it all really depends on their SOUL which obviously grows alongside them throughout their lives. so as a result skeleton monsters are basically sexless and genderless by default. (and this makes every single one of them trans. because i'm trans and i can do what i want)

sometimes skeleton monsters will form magic that isn't exactly what they want, and that can lead to a bit of dysphoria if they're that type of person. it can be a little frustrating because magic and the SOUL, despite being connected, are still very separate things and are equally complex! so to always be in tune with each other is kind of impossible.

as for reproduction it's really all about how the skeleton monsters feel. some of them may not want to reproduce sexually (for a plethora of reasons, like asexuality - though not every asexual doesn't have sex!, sex repulsion, or just generally not wanting to), so they go for something related to the SOUL. im not exactly sure how reproduction via SOULs works to me, but going off on a whim here, if two skeleton monsters have their own SOULs then they can sort of merge them temporarily to create a new one that carries traits from either parent. the process of this doesnt typically last long but they both share the SOULling and take care of it together. it can rest inside one of them or both of them at different times until it's ready to form its own body, which is just as skeleton as you'd expect

for skeletons who don't have SOULs, like ink, well... just consider how paperjam was made. you could go with that, or actual sexual reproduction. those are his options pretty much

anyways TLDR all skeletons are by default sexless + agender thereby making them all trans AND they can reproduce via sexual reproduction, SOUL merging, or remnants of magic mixing if one or more of the parents lack a SOUL

[genderfreezone]

Do you like the Evil Within 2?

Yeah! Certainly not as much as the first one (i was not immune to being sad they left out fan favorites Jojo and Ruvik's Cube)

The rest of this post is me rambling about things i didnt like about the game, and then things i did like (most of my issues are how they treat the female characters tbh)

Its missing kind of the action-noir-gone-horrifically-wrong feel of the first game. The scare factor also suffers bc our player character has been through this before, hes a veteran at dealing with this crazy shit, it doesnt phase him anymore and by extension it doesnt phase the player. They really like tripled down on the Evil Corporation thing and both the intrigue and horror suffer for it.

This game did not drink its respect women juice (the first one didnt really either, case in point: Everything About Kidman) Sebastian is surrounded by 5+ female characters and only 2 of them survive (and one of them is his 7 year old daughter hes spent the whole game trying to rescue... and yet they never bothered to give her any kind of characterization or agency. A highly empathetic and supernaturally powerful little girl in a monster-infested hellscape?? HELLO???? Lily really had the potential to be the most interesting, sympathetic, and complex character--especially as she slowly lost her innocence--in the WHOLE GAME, but she was just sort of relegated to Plot Device McGuffin) The rest of the female supporting cast are killed off for Sebastian's Man Pain. In fact, THIS ENTIRE GAME IS CENTERED AROUND SEBASTIAN'S MAN PAIN. Torrez is a walking stereotype, shes literally just Vasquez from Aliens. Hoffman was the most likeable and believeable, except when it Turns Out She Was In Love With Liam Or Whatever (psst, guess what, i dont care. Also O'neal was kind of a dick anyway? I dont care x2)

And you know who i SUPER dont care about? Bland-White-Bread-And-Mayo-Sandwich Myra. Where's the no-nonsense firecracker of a police lieutenant Sebastian married? Not here, thats for sure. Her entire personality is "mother" and "worries about stressed-out husband". We got more characterization of Myra in seb's jornals from the first game, where she never even made a physical appearance! Horror media does this SO MUCH, women are either A. Sexy Lamp B. Hurts Men (Sexily) C. Mother or D. Innocent Virgin. It sucks. Do better.

The story lacked the "digging up old buried memories" and "theres more to this than meets the eye" of the first game. It felt too...... Straightforward. Everyone told Sebastian the truth. EVERYTHING WAS EXACTLY WHAT IT SEEMED. It all felt too simple, too easy, like there SHOULDVE been something else beneath the surface. And yet there wasnt. (I watched markipliers playthrough and i loved his theory that Kidman was actually Lily. It had such potential. Kidman's entire resume for the police station was fabricated, who's to say the rest of her past wasnt fabricated as well? It would retcon a lot of stuff and like 80% of her backstory from the DLC, but you know games like this arent above retconning important shit, and at least it wouldve been sacrificed for something with actual intrigue. Maybe it wouldnt even retcon anything! Consider: tiny Lily is taken by Evil Corporation and dropped off in a non-nurturing environment that would lead her to become the kind of person who would willingly join & work for an organization like Mobius. At least wouldve been a nice excuse for why Kidman and Lilys face models looked so similar... other than... yknow.... "WomEN ARe hArD tO DRaWwwwwee")

Okay okay ive been ranting for long enough. It probably makes it sound like i kinda hate this game, but i dont! It certainly doesnt hold the same place in my heart as the first one (which i still have very glaring issues with lmao Kidman deserved WAAAAAAY better), but i do like it! It brings back salty, grizzled, tsundere Sebastian Castinellos. It brings back spooky monsters that kill you dead. It brings back having a fun theatrical over-the-top villain who takes himself a litte too seriously.

I love Stefano. Probably not in the way some other fans do, but i love him as a ridiculous theatrical over-the-top villain. He sucks! And i love that he sucks! I love him BECAUSE he sucks! Hes terrible and exaggerated and completely up his own ass and ITS GREAT. He isnt as ACTUALLY THREATENING as Ruvik was (even in his bad assassin's creed cosplay. I could go on and on and on about why Ruvik is simultaneously a ridiculous AND frightening antagonist and how much i love it but uh..... maybe later) but hes such a FUN villain! Hes the kind of pretentious art snob shitheel i cannot STAND irl, but in this game i LOVE to HATE him. Hes just SO over-the-top you kinda wonder if he actually subscribes to the pretentiousness he spouts, or if hes just being Exceptionally Extra.

The other villains? Theodore was.... forgettable. His monsters were forgettable. (Its like how i completely forgot that Frank Manera was a character in Whistleblower for like... 5 years lmao i guess this game also kinda followed that "having multiple named/characterized antagonists in one game" thing that Outlast did) Myra, i just didnt care. Her final design was kinda cool, i liked the red clusters of insect eyes. Her monsters werent really gross enough to be memorable. The only reson theyre gross at all is bc they kinda look like theyre made of semen. (I checked the wiki and apparently Myra's white goo is "psychoplasm" and her monsters lost 99% of their gross factor. I just dont care.) The Administrator literally just looked like a 3D human model of Maxwell from dont starve, and i have to laugh every time i see him. Hes not terribly threatening, all he does is threaten characters to work faster and doesnt actually follow through on those threats. He doesnt even make fun threats like HABIT or anything. He thinks hes so powerful and ominous that his mere presence will frighten the player but hes just kinda all bark and no bite. Hes The Big Bad Company Man so you know hes gonna get whats coming to him, and you know Kidmans gonna be the one to do it to him, so hes not even that much of a threat. Hes whatever.

Stefano definitely got all of the coolest monsters. Many Arms Buzzsaw Lady was terrifying and i love her. And OBSCURA was just *Chef's Kiss* Anima was cool, she kinda looked like a mix of Laura and Samara. The Harbingers were neat, but really only bc ive got a thing for gas masks. The rest of the monsters werent really unique or weighty/threatening enough to be memorable. Now the first game is a fucking TREASURE TROVE of unique monsters *muah* you got Sadist, Sentinel, Keeper, Amalgam, Heresy, Laura, Shigyo, the Twins, Alter Egos, and im probably forgetting some!! But holy FUCK!!!!! And if we're includong the DLC?? MOTHER FUCKING SHADE. SPOTLIGHT LADY. LIGHT WOMAN.  SEXY LEGS.  Whatever you call her, i fucking love her. Her design is so simple. Helmet. Sheet. Legs. Her voice? Unnerving as hell. Love it. (Also i just personally love the diving helmet. Also like you know how a lot of games have a spotlight mechanic where you have to avoid the light and if it lands on you, you're fucked? LET'S MAKE AN ENTIRE MONSTER OUT OF THAT. She's PERFECT.) Oh and also those weird crawling exploding dudes. They made gross sounds and it was great. (Tbh Keepers still probably my favorite, if only for horny reasons)

TATIANA HOW HAVE I NOT FUCKING TALKED ABOUT TATIANA. Shes like the ONE female character that i fucking LOVE in the sequel. I love how they finally gave her a personality, and that personality is literally just "fuck you, Sebastian" Oh GOD its great shes SO FUNNY. I just.... god i love Tatiana lmao. I love how she makes you kinda uncomfortable too, like she knows something, but she wont tell you bc youre stupid. I didn't like the kind of "all-knowing guide" thing they did to try and make her creepy (like she's a "guide" but then also turns around and is like "no i wont tell you what you need to know bc you """have to discover it on your own""" or whatever") it serves no purpose since she never gave you any actual information, and it didn't succeed in making her creepier, all it did was frustrate me. She was at her creepiest when she IMPLIED she was doing something behind the scenes or knew something you didn't know and then didn't elaborate (not REFUSING to elaborate, just... stopping talking and leaving the statement to hang in the air, like the "getting her nails done" and "its been a long time, detective" and the "now what makes you say that" from the first game) and she was at her funniest when she was interacting with Sebastian from the sidelines, her snide little comments and sarcastic clapping cracked me the fuck up. Tatiana not treating Sebastian seriously was a fantastic touch for a game that otherwise would probably take itself so seriously it would double back around to being silly. Without Tatiana, it would've been just another male-centric gun-toting "survival horror" game, and for the most part, it was just that. She was definitely a much-needed source of slightly derisive comedy and a definite high-point for me, even if they didn't so a great job of making her creepy or fulfilling her "purpose."

Oh I also really love the COLORS in TEW2. The first game fell into the trap of having the colors be totally washed out that a lot of horror stuff does, but it also kind of worked for it. Especially with the color pallette of our main villain and how the whole thing was His World. The saturation of the colors in the second game is a breath of fresh air and gorgeous to look at, and you can even see the color motifs of the game change with each new villain: the game starts out with Stephano has lots of blues and purples and dark reds, when Theodore takes over we get bright orange and yellow contrasted with black and brown, and in the climax with Myra the game goes back to having washed out colors and white (and with her villain design? Let's face it: they were kinda just trying to do Ruvik again) We did get portions that were still kind of wahed out whites and greens and greys, but it wasnt the ENTIRE game, even the big blood-and-brains splatterhouse sections of the first game kinda had their colors weirdly muted for that "Horror Aethetic."

In conclusion, i do like the evil within 2, but i also had a lot of problems with it. And i complain about these problems because i like the game and know it couldve done better, tried harder, and been a LOT more than it was (the wasted character potential is my real overarching pet peeve, probably becuase i loved the characters in the first game, and character development is kind of my whole jam) . But all in all, it was still a fun monster-zombie romp with at least one entertaining villain and fun-to-look-at designs and environments. It wasn't character or horror or even REALLY story driven in the way I know it COULDVE been, but i still had a fun time and enjoyed myself.

[tessxomarie]

Saving You - Part I

*Hi everyone! First, I need to shoutout @hellosupernaturaldoctor​  for giving me advice and the confidence to even attempt this. This is my very first time writing any fan-fiction and the first time I’ve decided to post any of my writing some place other than a word doc. I’ve had this idea for this story since mid-season of the Mayans, and after the finale I put all my thoughts into a story. It starts off slow, but I promise what I have in store next will be worth it! PS, Any feedback is appreciated! - This story takes place a few months after the season one finale. Ez is now a newly patched in member, Alvarez is still working for Galindo; things have been quiet as of late, well for the most part.*

It’s a Friday afternoon, I’m just getting off of work. It’s hot as fuck outside – guess that’s the price you pay when you live in the desert. I lazily gather my purse from the backroom, before I step foot outside, I redo my hair. What was once a cute pony tail this morning has turned into a mangled mess. As my luck would have it, my hair tie snaps as soon as I go to wrap it around a third time. “Fuck.” I mumble to myself. I always wear an extra hair tie on my wrist, but I cannot have a naked wrist. “Fine, a mangled mane I will have. It’s fine, it’s fine.” I whisper to myself. If I don’t leave here now, I will lose all sanity I have left. Man, what a shit show day today has been, this heat must be getting to the kids. Two broken wrists, a broken arm, a no helmet incident and a random summer cold. I didn’t get puked or shit on, and no kid attempted to kick or hit, so I call today’s shit show a success. Just as I’m about to leave, one of my co-workers stops me, “Leah, good work today. You kept that broken arm kid really calm. Keep it up.” Elena tells me with a smile. “Thanks, Elena. I’m just doing my job, but I always welcome feedback, so thanks again.” I say to her as I head out the back door. It’s 4:30pm, I’ve been on the clock since 6am, one would think I deserve to simply go home and use my complex’s pool – oh one can dream. But nope, I’m still on the clock but I guess you could call this gig more of an always “on-call” service.

I pull up in my old school blacked out Jeep Grand Cherokee about twenty minutes after I leave the clinic to the Romeo Brothers Scrapyard, also known as the headquarters for the Mayans MC.  

Chucky greets me, per usual. “Greetings Nurse Aleeah.” He says to me with a big smile and a salute. I let out a giggle as I always do whenever someone says my full name…I rarely ever go by it, but around here, I hear it more than I have in years. But Chucky, oh Chucky– how does one describe a chronic masturbator who has a good heart and is part of the biker world without truly being a biker? I guess I just did, didn’t I? “Hey Chucky, how are you?” I ask as I park and exit my Jeep. “I am well, swell actually. I have no complaints today.” Chucky answers with a big smile. “Good, I’m glad to hear that.” I say as I give his arm a friendly squeeze. “The boys need your assistance, I don’t know details but clearly someone got messed up hence why you are here.” Chucky explains in typical Chucky fashion.I roll my eyes as I stand in front of the clubhouse. “It’s always something with these boys, huh?” I rhetorically ask. Chucky nods his head and heads back to the office. I walk up the steps and take a deep breath before I enter the clubhouse. This club is like a box of chocolates, you never know what the fuck you’re going to get so it’s best you just grin and bear it. Is it just a cut from a broken beer bottle? Did a fight break out and there is blood everywhere? A bullet wound? A stabbing wound? A rat bite? Like I said, you just never know. I open the doors and pray today is nothing major. “Have no fear, your favorite RN is here.” I announce as I enter the clubhouse and strike a pose in the doorway.  “Umm, isn’t it RN BSN?” Riz corrects as he stands and greets me. “Have I told you that you’re my favorite?” I reply with a playful wink and smile, it does make me truly happy that these guys acknowledge and are proud of my accomplishments. “Hola Aleeah.” Riz says to me while we greet with a warm hug, per usual. “Hey, I spy my favorite nurse!” Gilly shouts from across the room. Creeper, Hank and Taza also wave from the card table. “Greetings gentlemen, you all seem to be in one piece.” I say as I mosey around the few tables between me and the guys. “Although that pleases me, who is the one who called up 1-800-Rescue Nurse?” I sarcastically spit, which receives some laughs from the guys. “They’re in church.” Hank points towards the door. “They? Plural?” I ask looking at Riz, and he nods to confirm. “Jesus Christ.” I say palming my face. “Lee Baby!” Coco shouts from exiting church and walking over to me with open arms. “Ah, Coco Loco.” I reply with a smile and we hug. “How are you doing, Coco?” I ask after we break our embrace. “A lot better than your next two victims.” He replies, him not making much eye contact and that just gives it away – I know automatically who my victims are. “You gotta be kidding me? They got into it again?!” All Coco does is nod and look down at the floor. “How bad?” I ask. “What do you mean? How bad do they look? Or how bad is it between them?” Coco asks me. I shake my head with disgrace. I angrily take my steps towards church and I aggressively open the door. “Damn, she is pissed.” I hear Creeper’s echo as I close the door, as soon I enter the room. Looking at the table, I see them. One is at one end, the other one on the opposite end. I drop my nurse’s bag on the table and cross my arms. “You two have some damn nerve - getting into it again. Jesus. You’re fucking brothers, you are blood – blood don’t do this shit.” I yell with anger and confusion. Silence fills the air as the guys look at each other and up at me. Bishop then looks over to me and quirks an eyebrow and half smile. “Excuse my poor manners, Bish. Your boys tend to make me lose all sanity I have left at the end of a work week.” I tell him as I walk over and give him a warm embrace. “Oh Leah, you’re fine. I know this shit has been out of control recently.” Bishop pauses and looks over to the guys. He takes a deep breath. “I’ll let you handle them now. I’ll be outside if you need a referee.” Bishop exits and I just stand there, crossed arms again. Both boys refuse to look me in the eye, but instead stare each other down. “Are you just going to stand there?” Angel seethes. I let out a sarcastic laugh. “Give me one good reason as to why I should fix the both of you up? Huh? Because as I see it, this is the fourth time this month…THIS MONTH!  Angel, please, humor me and explain to me why the fuck I should tend to your wounds yet again? Maybe if I let you both be, you’ll learn these fights aren’t worth it.” I take a deep breath myself, and I run my hand through my tangled hair, which I then end up putting up in a pony tail right after, I’ll just have to remember to find another hair tie to wear on my wrist later.   “Alright, I’m sorry I went off. You two, you two just frustrate me.” I say holding my hands up mimicking a surrender. I take another breath and look between the boys. My gaze is drawn to EZ, probably because he’s the easier one out of the two. “Okay, EZ, I see that nasty cut on your cheek, oh and your hand – good going big brother.” I say as I look over to Angel. He looks away the moment I look his way. “Shocker, EZ gets to be first yet again.” Angel chirps. “Seriously?” I snap. “I’m over here fucking bleeding, I could be dying but all you and anyone ever cares about is Ezekiel.”   “Shut it Angel, just shut it, please.” I beg. I start to tend to EZ’s war wounds; some cuts, a nasty one on his cheek – I’m guessing Angel’s rings got the best of him this time around. EZ, he doesn’t say much this time I’m here. I know that he feels the same way as me – he’s tired of this back and forth shit with his brother. “EZ, no more. It’s one thing when you all call me to take a bullet out, or to give a rabies shot, but this shit – playground fights, I’m done.” I explain as I place the last bandage strip to his cheek. EZ doesn’t make eye contact, and his jaw is clenched. His knees shaking. “I know, Lee. I’m sorry you’re doing this again.” EZ tells me as he finally meets my eyes for the first time. EZ, he’s easy to read. He wears his emotions in his eyes, his eyes right now are filled with pain and sadness. This whole feud with Angel, it’s taken a toll on everyone in this club. It’s been almost eight months of this fuckery. “Remove the bandage Sunday night, it needs about 48 hours to heal. If you feel the need to remove it beforehand, clean it thoroughly. Have some of your favorite tequila tonight, and you will be good.” I tell EZ as I throw away the things I used to care for him. “Thanks, Lee.�� He says as he kisses me on the cheek and walks somberly out of church. My heart aches for EZ, because the pain – physical and emotional is all over his face and body. Angel hasn’t taken his eyes off of the wall nor has he spoken. I slide my bag down the table as I slowly make my way towards him. Rubber gloves are on, and I grab his face. “Let’s see your damage.” I say, like a dog would when a human goes to check their mouth for something, Angel gives me a little tension as I touch his face. Again, no eye contact. A look of annoyance screams from his expression. I see a nasty cut on the side of his head, by his eye – a sensitive area which bleeds more than most. A black eye is also forming. “Jesus Christ, Angel.” I say examining the cut a little further. “This has to stop. I’m begging. I cannot deal with looking at you two like this, because my fear is that one day, I’m going to be too late to help any of you.” “What if it is?” He spews. I scoff, “No more.” Is all I manage to say. I take out an alcohol swab to clean out his cut. “This is going to sting, on the count of three – one, two, three.” I say as I then put the swab against the cut. A loud hiss comes from Angel and an instant reaction of mine is to grab his face and blow lightly at the cut, helping the sting not be so painful. Angel’s eyes then lock with mine, a look of shock and confusion fill his brown eyes. Angel and I, we’ve had a very interesting relationship since I first came to Santo Padre. He gave me an attitude and I gave it right back – he seemed more pissed off when I talked back than just walking away, and the more I talked back, the more tension built up between us. We started out on the wrong foot, and that’s how we have remained. He lets me care for him, depending on the time of day. Sometimes he lets his girlfriend, well I think she’s his girlfriend, Adelita, clean him up. Today, for whatever reason, he stuck around the clubhouse. I continue to blow on his wound, and I wince back in pain for him because I know it had to sting like a bitch. “Uhh, sorry. It’s a habit of mine, when I treat the kids, I have to do this; they hate it too, so that technique helps them...” I ramble and look away because I sense a bit of embarrassment, as I’ve never been “nice” to Angel. I look and reach back at the table to grab what I need next, just as I turn to face Angel again, I notice a very small smile on his face. “What?” I question, because seeing him smile legit concerns me. “It’s nothing, Leah.” He says monotone and lets me continue working on him. A few more minutes go by, and I determine that he doesn’t need any stitches, just a little butterfly work on one of his eyebrows. “Okay, that’s all. No stitches today, that cut on the side of your face, it’s a sensitive area that bleeds more than most. Your eyebrow cut, it’s an awkward cut – it’s ugly but not ugly enough for stitches. My only request is when you clean it out, could you please use both water and soap?” I emphasize. I know how these guys operate. They either use a dirty rag or tap water to clean themselves up. I turn to clean up my stuff and Angel lets out a minor laugh, which catches me off guard. I look at him and quirk an inquisitive look. Angel stands up, he turns behind his chair and lightly pounds his fist to the back of it. “You sounded just like my ma.” He tells me, in the softest voice I have ever heard Angel speak in. I offer him a small smile as I already know what that history is. Angel leaves church, and per usual no other words are spoken, no thank you’s, nothing. I stay behind a few more moments and collect my thoughts and belongings. I hear the door open, at first I’m startled but relieved it’s just Bishop. “How we doin’, sweetheart?” He asks. I let out a very deep sigh and my facial expression tells my feelings of this whole ordeal. Bishop can’t help but laugh, “I know, Lee. I know.” He tells me as he pulls me in for a hug. “I just need to go home and lay in bed and watch a trashy romcom.” I exclaim as I grab my bag. “I think you’ve deserved that, but before you go – you have a visitor.” He tells me. A look of a deer in the head-lights flashes across my face, who the hell could be visiting me? “Just come with me.” Bishop motions for me to take his hand and follow him. Nerves take over, with the Club, you never know what can happen. As I exit the room, I see the guys scattered all over the clubhouse yet all eyes are on me. “Your visitor is the biggest pain in my ass, so make it quick.” Bishop says, but I catch his playfulness I his voice and I look to the bar and I see who Bishop is talking about – Marcus Alvarez.

[bi-dazai]

Could you talk more abt double black’s romance coding if you don’t mind?

it’s just kind of a fun thing!! but anyway the fact is that there’s a lot of double entendre in all of their interactions, history, etc, to the point that as an author myself and also with the knowledge of particularly how the real life dazai osamu deconstructed heterosexual relationships…the character dazai’s relationship with the character chuuya also having such a…homoerotic edge in their dynamic, particularly in the way every fucking scene, line of dialogue, and visual imagery theyre portrayed in is very, VERY easy to pull a romantic double meaning out of…it’s just that to me as an author and by the way skk is written…like thats exactly how i would write a complex broken romantic relationship. 

the way i always put it is try to imagine if one of them was a girl - particularly chuuya, because chuuya absolutely fills in the “jilted lover” to the “cool anime husbando” stereotype. there would be absolutely no doubt that the two have canon sexual tension if one of them was a girl. like it would be known and talked about p openly that, yeah, they used to date/there is a romantic/sexual aspect to their partnership, if one of them was a girl! 

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to me also there are two types of ships - ships that are just fun dynamics and pairings (shinsou/kaminari, atsushi/akuutagawa, mori/the firey pits of hell where paedophilies burn); and ships that have plenty of canon romantic potential, double entendre, and/or romantic dynamic that i could actually see happening in canon (think kirishima/bakugou, korra/asami, lance/keith from voltron before s7). dazai and chuuya absolutely fall very easily into that second category. to me, dazai/chuuya is more than just “oh wouldnt it be cute if they dated”, it’s more “every time these two characters interact every single thing they say and do is a double entendre”. 

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the scene where they first interact is literally one of the most sexually tense things in anime ive seen in ages. the way they talk about each other and worry about each other in the double black episode is much more complex and heartfelt than the way kunikida and dazai are written to talk about/to and worry about each other. kunikida and dazai have been shown to be friends and also put trust in one another, yet still hate each other. but kunikida and dazai don’t interact with the sexual tension and romantic double entendre that dazai and chuuya have. for me as an author, that would be a perfect comparative technique to highlight dazai and chuuya’s nature as something more than just a running joke of  “every partner dazai has hates him”. in fact, if that even were a running joke you would know, because bsd loves to play up running jokes. but both of dazai’s partners hating him isnt meant as a joke, it’s meant as a point. literally dazai and kunikida and dazai and chuuya could have had a much more similar dynamic, with minimal differences but not so many/so dramatic in order to create a strong, bsd-style running gag and also a platonic dynamic between them. but by having kunikida hate dazai it literally stands as a comparative point against how chuuya hates him - because chuuya doesnt hate dazai in the same way kunikida does.

kunikida’s frustration with dazai is definitely more of a gag on the comparison between kunikida’s and dazai’s work ethic and personalities. chuuya’s frustration is constantly played down with the numerous times chuuya actually seeks out dazai’s affection AND is concerned for his wellbeing:

like idk if u know abt the whole sheep backstory with chuuya…but it would be perfectly reasonable to write chuuya as absolutely despising dazai. chuuya’s forced partnership with dazai is a representation of everything the port mafia did to him and his friends with sheep. yet chuuya is written as seeking out dazai’s positive attention and checking he’s okay? and this scene isnt about the port mafia and the agency - it’s about chuuya and dazai. oh, and again, some more comparison - akutagawa seeks out dazai’s positive attention, but it’s pointedly different from the way chuuya seeks it out. with chuuya it seems more about a comment on the complexity of how he feels not about dazai (as akutagawa does) but how he feels towards dazai (if you get what i mean??). akutagawa’s need for dazai to validate him is a primary motivator in the plot and in his character. compared to this, plus comparing the way kunikida and dazai interact in battle, slipping in the way chuuya and dazai express concern for each other when they interact in battle is….interesting. the warmest port mafia executive to dazai other than chuuya is kouyou, and that’s only because she is entrusting him with her surrogate daughter’s life - another primary plot point. compared to all this, it seems…somewhat domestic and pointless to have these little moments. 

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my final main argument for canon skk underlying romance coding is some of the visual “double entendre”. while dazai and chuuya havent exactly ever said or done anything explicitly romantic (such as kiss, admit explicit romantic feelings for each other, etc), a lot of the visual coding and the dialogue (particularly in the anime) is…pretty easy to interpret as romantic and sexual. i mean:

(dont mind the subtitles for this first one, what matters is the imagery)

(double entendre - how often do you use this in fiction outside of lovers quiffs?)

(like it isnt every day you see two anime dudes between each others legs lol)

(double entendre in this line) (also dazai doesn’t “reunite” with any other port mafioso. except maybe akutagawa, who has a dynamic just as complex but much less…”angry lover” dynamic and reunion with dazai. oh yeah. another comparison.)

like im just putting this entire scene from dead apple because it was so heavily visually romantically and sexually double entendre…like again. if one of them was a girl. dead apple is…a lot.

(also sorry for shitty quality on some of the images)

anyway some of this i know sounds like a reach but it’s honestly me just theorising from my own perspective as an author! this show is v complex and well-written, and so far there havent rly been any bits that are just…on accident?? everything is very purposeful. and a lot of the ways that kafka asagiri writes dazai and chuuya’s dynamic, dialogue, interactions, etc, are very much real writing techniques that i would use to write in a romantic pairing, especially a same-sex romantic pairing that i might not be able to be too explicit about and have to find ways to get around that. like im obvsly not saying that this is all canon and real and ive found a way into asagiri’s head, but ive just…noticed a lot of things and i think they arent rly…discussed too much in the bsd fandom?? which is disappointing cos soukoku is a rly well written and complex relationship and pairing that needs more meta!