#so it would be really funny (read: not funny at all) if Sheila was actually Danny's mom

[autisticrosewilson]

I'm an open marriage/poly Catherine/Willis truther so do you guys think Jason has some half siblings running around? Every few months Jason finds another kid that looks like one of his sixteen parents and he's like "aw shit here we go again." Anyway I was thinking about that one universe where Jason had a brother named Danny and they basically fucked everything about his character up but I liked that bit so I've just been rotating it in my brain.

[thevestigeofvanillaan]

can imagine taking kyle's hat and wearing it and he doesn't even bother to take it from you because "you look so cute" (said in private only).

can imagine smoking with kyle in his car and making out while super high.

can imagine kyle being a drug dealer and you go with him to drop off.

can imagine inhaling the smoke kyle blows from his mouth when he vapes (sometimes even stealing his ghosts).

can imagine going on late night car rides with stan driving and kyle on aux. except half the time you force kyle to sit in the back seat so you can rest your head on his lap.

can imagine kyle's mom reading to you all the time. like you'll go over just to snuggle into sheila's shoulder as she reads to you and kyle will walk out of his room all tired and in his pj's late at night asking "what? since when were you here?" as he rubs his eyes. then he forces you to come lay down with him as he goes back to sleep.

can imagine kyle calling you "mrs. broflovski" for fun.

can imagine kyle complaining about cartman for hours on end to you as he runs hands through your hair.

can imagine giving kyle corn rows and he actually looks good with his red curly corn rows.

can imagine telling kyle about all the guys you've been with and him giving reasons as to why he's better than them.

can imagine kyle growing plants in red solo cups on his windowsill and calling them his "babies".

can imagine kyle making fun of half the things you own. like if you own manifesting crystals (even just if you think they're pretty) he's all "you really think that shits works?" laughing.

can imagine kyle was one of the kids who moaned in the back of class in middle school.. but back then it was funny.

can imagine calling kyle "booby" in front of his friends and he gets all flustered and embarrassed and pretends to hate it (he secretly loves it and he loves the fact that you took that from his mom).

can imagine kyle brushing his teeth with you in the bathroom with him at the sleepovers so that he can just listen to you talk.

can imagine kyle's favorite flavor of vape is strawberry ice and he could argue with stan all day about how it's better than "lush mint ice" which is stan's favorite. (that also sounds literally heavenly).

can imagine kyle calling you things like "baby, honey, princess, babe, pretty, etc." even though you guys aren't dating. it's his little bad habit and you think it's so cute and always slander cartman for opening his mouth about it. because we all know cartman would attempt to correct kyle in a heart beat saying "dude she isn't your girlfriend.".

[matan4il]

Hi friend! I was wondering if you had any favorite Israeli/Hebrew children's books! Also any fave Israeli musicians??

Hello, my lovely! :D How are you?

Ooooh, do I! Man, you're gonna regret asking me this. XD Sorry, not sorry... So shall we start with Israeli/Hebrew kids' books?

Anything by Yehuda Atlas (יהודה אטלס), but especially And That Kid is Me (והילד הזה הוא אני). Short humorous stories, written in rhymes, perfectly capturing how baffling the world can be for a kid, and how silly adults can seem, or just what things can sometimes feel like for a child. It's one of those books that work, funny and essential, 'coz it's so true. He just gets kids.

Another one that I love, and am probably one of the few Israeli kids who even know this book, is Siamina and the Cats of Yemin Moshe (סיאמינה והחתולים של ימין משה) by Holocaust survivor Uri Orlev (אורי אורלב. He's more well known for his books about that period of time, which are also highly recommended, but I only dared read them when I was older). Jerusalem is known for its many stray cats, and the book is a love fest for cats and Jerusalem, with some historical sites becoming in the book the "homes" of the cats.

David Gershtein, who crafted the engravings for the book, is a pretty popular Israeli artist, and you can find some of his creations all over the country, and even entire shops dedicated to his works.

Last one ('coz I don't wanna burden you too much, but lemme know if you want more recs!) that I really loved as a kid, was Yael's House (הבית של יעל) by Miriam Rot (מרים רות). It was about a girl who has a home, but she wants a house that would be all her own. She tries all sorts of solutions, including taking over the space under the kitchen table... Not gonna lie, as a kid I was inspired to follow in her footsteps, but my parents were not impressed.

Now, as for Israeli musicians! You have stumbled onto dangerous ground, my friend, since I'm a music addict, and in love with the Hebrew language, so songs in Hebrew are something I can go on about for freaking years...

I'll share with you the link to two unlisted playlists that I made on YouTube. One is of some of my fave Israeli songs (though I started it years ago, so sadly, I see some vids have been deleted or made private, and there are literally hundreds of songs on the list, meaning I'm not sure which ones are missing), but also with a few thrown in 'coz I think they're good for people who wanna know Israeli culture and popular Israeli songs, and the other is one that I started making with songs connected in different ways to the current war we're in. They're not all faves, but I thought they capture a moment in time, so I wanted to have them grouped together. I'm actually not done with either list, the latter I really just started not that long ago, so you can expect them to grow.

If we're talking specific Israeli musicians, I find it hard to answer, I think almost every singer or songwriter has at least one good song to offer, and likewise whenever I wanna name one, I feel like adding, "Except for this song... and that one..." No musician is great all the time. But I guess some of my faves (where I like more songs than I don't) include Ivri Lider, Berry Sakharof, Yehuda Poliker, Ran Danker, Harel Ska'at, Chanan ben Ari, Narkis, Eliad, Amir Dadon, Avraham Tal, Marina Maximilian, Achinoam Nini (Noa), Sheila Ferber, Gilad Segev, Ofra Chaza, Meni Berger, Yardena Arazi, Natan Goshen, Keren Peles, Izhar Ashdot, Nurit Galron, and the bands Beit Ha'bubot, Ha'Yehudim, Metropolin, Ethnix, Mashina and Synergia.

I was thinking I should add at least one of these vids to my reply, and for whatever reason, the one that started playing itself in my head (where there is always music) was a song first released in 1993, אדמה חמה (Hot Earth) by Shlomo Gronich and the Shva Choir (Sheba is the English pronunciation of Shva). I love this song, I think the vid was very cool for its time, and I'm still never gonna forgive the MTV viewers who gave it last place in a video music awards. The song incorporates Hebrew and Amharic, both Semitic languages, the latter being the language spoken by Ethiopian Jews. You can actually listen to the whole special album (inspired by the story of the Ethiopian Jewish community's journey to Israel) here.

But just for the fun of throwing in a gay themed song as well, here's התשמע קולי (Will You Hear My Voice), a love poem for a man, originally written by an Israeli poet called Rachel (full name: Rachel Bluwstein Sela), but it's performed here by only men, and no one changed the pronouns, which makes it a mlm song to me. It's so pretty and sad (Rachel is believed to have written the poem to a former lover, a man she even thought at one point she would marry, but WWI tears them apart and they never meet again. She wrote this poem, after getting the news that she's terminally ill), it fills my soul at the same time as it tugs on my heart.

I hope this helps! Sending so much love! xoxox

[sheilab34b]

Following along with me

I was just thinking about when I started writing hypno-sexual fiction (or mostly fiction). It was so interesting when people would come to me and say things like, I was like following your story and felt like I was drawn into it with you, I mean like REALLY into you. It was so amazingly enthralling. It felt so good, and I was so relaxed... I spent minutes hours there just being calm and warm, reading and feeling... and... ummmm.

At first I thought, well that is nice. I guess my story hit home with some readers, gosh if I only knew then how much it did, how much the reader got pulled in by me just saying things, you know.... things, you know what I mean don't you. you know how a reader could just get pulled along wanting to read more, to feel what I was writing, so completely.

That changed how I wrote right then. I started to intentionally entrap a reader by inviting her in and made her a part of my story. Intentionally using words like relax and soothing, tired, drifting and they actually absorbed those words as the emotion they were feeling. I was amazed how many came back to me, repeatedly to experience more of it. Hypnosis is experiential, so it has to be part of them... becoming part of their psyche as they relax when they read the word relax. Actually going under, as they read about going under. Just like looking in a mirror and seeing your reflection in trance.

Sometimes they don't even know what they are agreeing to, not that it matters because I have already put my plan in motion. They get so relaxed and docile, fully agreeing and open to tell me all about themselves and their desires. Funny, but its those same desires I fed them earlier. They accept everything, its so darn cute and hot.

Sheila

[giuliano-fan-account]

Hxh ch 396-397 review

WHY DID EVERYBODY FLOCK TO MY CHAPTER 395 REVIEW FOUNDING PART ONE OK??????

Anyways yeah I didnt do reviews for the past couple of weeks because Things happened and I got busy and it got me out of my groove so.

I have been reading of course because who am I .

I’ll do an overview of the rest of the flashbacks because those Messed Me Up actually and I have art and things to say about it.

Spoilers, obviously . (Warning for Child Abduction and death)

Chapter 396: Founding part 2

Sadly I dont have viz screenshots because of it only being the recent 3 lol so I’ll be using an unofficial translation

There he is again with some weird Popcorn Cauliflower lookin things and ooh nooo

Hi Uvogin!

Also hi Phinks with the walnut hair. At this point I’ve adjusted to how wonky it looks though but

SARASA *50 crying emojis*

I actually love Sarasa a lot. She’s adorable and confident and fearless... I really hope nothing BAD HAPPENS TO THIS CHARACTER. auughgggggg

I also really like Sheila. Even though they didn’t end up being actual phantom troupe members Sarasa and Sheila matter to me and I really want to know what Togashi has in mind by bringing her back into the plot. But aside from that we also get another moment of exposition for Pakunoda and Chrollos relationship. Im Not Crying Youare.

I love to think that while a lot of other people call him ‘Little bro’, Pakunoda is the closest to being his actual “big sister”  

Power cleaners moment. I actually slipped up and call them Power Rangers sometimes or like for example “Ranger red” instead of Clean up red. Whats funny is that I didn’t even watch power rangers as a kid this is just how it is

Look at all those sillies

I really really want to know what this sounded like because Im not gonna say that it’s really bad just because they’re kids, but I think it would be very funny if they were sugar coating it not even on purpose because of how young and silly they are.

Chrollo is actually 11 you learn in 397 so I’m guessing that would mean Paku is 10, Sarasa is like 8-9 or something since she’s the youngest, and Sheila is somewhere inbetween them all.

I love how out of context he sounds like a victorian child whos about to make an important announcement.

“Father, may I have the mic?” I never thought I would hear those words but knowing that it comes from baby Chrollo makes it all make sense.

Also look theres Nobunaga!! Wow!! He’s finally in his own flashback!

I like the composition of this panel because This chapter is supposed to be a highlight on Uvos progression and his relationship with Chrollo and the fact that Chrollo is straight ahead of him really drives that home.

IM CRYING THIS PANEL

To be honest you gotta love this because you really just see how sincere he is in just wanting to make all the other kids happy here, and they are ecstatic

With Chrollo doing all the same lines though just imagine theres this kid and he just has crazy vocal range for no reason and hes talking to himself in 7 different voices

omfg is he Jerma985. .

.....

..i mean  i did make this one thing

Anyways

HOLY CRAP JEDSURS

I bet he put his entire freakin heart into that line like no holding back

I love how everybodys like stunned and then theres just Nobu who is there

HELLO??????????? JFC

ALSO IS THIS A SAIKI K REFERENCE BECAUSE I WOULD NOT BE SURPRISED IF TOGASHI JUST SLIPPED THAT IN THERE... (In some volume extras I think of vol 35 he put references in random panels and replaced the text and there was a saiki k reference in one. Fun fact)

Scrungly Sarasa and Sheila only ever

I also really like the composition of these panels.. Its also very centric on Uvo and Chrollo which I appreciate. Also I can see it being animated a lot for no reason like its so easy to imagine with this format.

When the Sarasa are Scurngly and adorble

Im just gonna put this whole page here and then talk abt it I love it so so so so so omuch and tears are definitely not in my eyes right now because of it.

So first of all, I read this translation first, and I think the lines they put here are better than what they put in the VIZ one. I don’t remember what they were, but the top panels lines here are just so raw and “That was me dubbing you!” Flows well. Sometimes unofficial translations can be wonky, but they did great on this page.

I love Love Love the way this page was drawn too. The way that Uvo and Chrollo just look shocked and are shown side by side is great, and I love the focus and detail on Sarasa and also even though it’s a still picture, her hair has so much motion and i i i i

Everybody’s reactions are nice too. I’m just thinking. No wonder Togashi had to take all that time off especially for these chapters. Drawing this many people is not easy at all...

IM M MLITERALLY CRYIGN HH hh  G HHhhhhh UE h fhf hh n SNIFF

I like Uvo and Machi’s dynamic lol. They seemed to already be friends which is just really funny since she’s just this tiny little child and then Uvo is like. Already like 6 foot 2 or something idk. (He grows to be 8′5.)

This is so funny because when you think of the Phantom Troupe you think of incredibly twisted people, but no, their original original name came from them trying to make a company name for their little dubbing thing.

Im Crying again haha. I mean I guess in the end he did become a villain, so wish fulfilled!

This line is so relevant to so many things involving Uvogin, even having to do with his character in the yorknew arc

NO NO NO NO NO NO NO ONO NO ON NO NON ONON ONO OOOHHH NOOOO SARASA. COMMUNICATION IS KEY SARASA. JUST TELL THEM THAT THERE WAS A BUNCH OF TAPES THERE. SARASA. SARASA NO STOP RUNNING COME BACK

NO!!!!!!!!!! YOU CANT DO THAT

Chapter 397: Founding Part 3

at least this time I can take fro m the viz official translation.. Ha ha

Are you ready guys? This is going to be a wild ride! (Warning for Child Abduction and death especially here)

So they finally notice that Sarasa’s not here and there Might be Something wrong! WHY DID I HAVE TO BE RIGHT ABOUT THIS IN MY CHAPTER 395 REVIEW.

This is Depressing but I love the attention to detail with how he’s gripping his shorts. I just wanted to point that out

Oh and haha he’s blaming himself for something only somewhat inside his control as a young child... Hmm.. That sounds familiar...

Dont you love when you start having a little more hope for something again...

Oh haha look at them on the bike Oh look everybodys doing their own part in the search!!!......

Oh god....

....And then everything just plummets....

Seriously when I read this part I felt my heart drop. SO much so that I made a whole redraw of it for chapter 357!

I love Hunter x Hunter.

THIS WAS THE TREE. THE TREE. TOGASHI WHY. I TRUSTED YOU WITH THE TREE. WHYYYYYY

mmm I hate this I hate this I hate this I hate this

Currently completely Fine right now actually ignore everything I just said.

NEVERMIND. IM NOT SHOWING THE PANELS WHERE IT HAS WHATS IN THE BAG FOR OBVIOUS REASONS BUT LIKE. THERE WAS A NOTE. ON HER AND IT HAD A FREAKING SMILEY FACE ON IT

A SMILE FACE....

My exact reaction

GEEEZZZ!!!!!

GEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEZZZ!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

IM NOT OK WITH THIS AT ALL OK OH MY GOD NEXT PAGE NOW PLEASE NEXT

Thank You.

I feel like the flowers on her head would be little orange roses.. Because well for one, the orange cleaner, and also orange roses are a symbol for Joy I think and that’s perfect for her

Im so glad that Togashi decided to make this little scene because I wouldn’t be able to handle what just happened before without this closure and Im pretty sure that was done on purpose because That was like one of the most horrific scenes in Hunter x Hunter in my opinion.

You could feel how everybody was panicking and the grief and anguish and it was just aaahhhhhhggghghhgh.......

Anyways. Onto another thing that is helping me process all of this lol

NEN!!

LITTLE MACHI AND NEN!! EVEN BETTER!

This is another line that I liked better in the unofficial translation

JUST. JUST. “Those pretty eyes of yours make my skin crawl.” ESPECIALLY IN THE CONTEXT OF MACHI IS SUCH A COOL LINE!!! anyways :)

I like nen so This is also very relieving. We are getting lore....

THIS GUYS LIKE 11 AND HES ALREADY DOING STUFF TO FIX METEOR CITY. SO IS CHROLLO THE REASON WHY METEOR CITY HAS TO DO WITH THE MAFIA???? PROBABLY.

Add Predicts the technological revolution to baby Chrollo’s achievement list. This kid Hunter x Hunter children are insane for a fact

He would do great in my English 10 Honors class with all that evidence and reasoning there

hey guys its Shalnark here  and today I’m going to explain chrollos Nefarious plot  

Hes so happy that he didnt have to do 3 paragraphs of more explaining! ..also

Jus dont even ask why I made this but I sure did I also made a video but idk how to put videos on tumblr other than have them be at the top which is not what I want so you just get this

I kind of wish we got more of younger Shalnark because we got focus on Paku and Uvo who are both... decreased  and you know...  

oh god I just realized

All the phantom troupe characters that are commonly nicknamed are Dead. Quick everybody stop saying Nobu for Nobunaga

Anyways

At least he gets a little bit of a moment here

I feel so bad for Sheila little sheila talk here

Like man her best friend just got Murdered and she can not do this. I bet part of her does not want to be involved with the troupe anymore because they have the most to do with her death, and maybe she even counts them responsible for them not caring, and with that she probably blames herself too.

I really want to see her again she is such a character and there’s no way that Togashi’s just gonna bring her back here and not have her be plot relevant. Was she for or against the kurta massacre!??!?!?!? wha????

Top ten ways to become a mass murderer

lets play a game. Is this a quote from Kurapika or Chrollo?

Look at all these parallels and foreshadowing... Putting that in perspective, that means that Chrollo became the very person he sought to destroy as a child, and I wonder if he realizes that, especially now in his current mental and emotional condition. But at the same time, he may have been expecting that. He should know that the Troupe has all the right to be persecuted with the amount of carnage that they’ve caused.

THIS OUT OF CONTEXT.

I think the whole thing with the Villain and this panel is a callback to Uvo’s line about being the worlds greatest villain, and maybe Chrollo was thinking that he would fit as leader because of that but...

Get pranked! Also notice how Paku is also gripping the end of her dress. Since I’m an empath, I can tell that Paku is having mixed feelings and is nervous about this /s

In 3 years he shed his old pair of eyes and then regrew Strange Eyes. Hold on.

This is extremely important and like one of the best things Ive ever made.

He has Strange Eyes HE GOT HIS STRANGE EYES LETS GOOOOOO

I decided I wanted to do math So their reunion happens around 7 years before the Kurta massacre, and that’s when Chrollo is 21.. so 10 years after sarasa’s death is when the Kurta massacre takes place.

Ok were finally to the end of this fun fun fun Chapter! I have 2 questions.

1. Where is Phinks?

2. Shalnark What has he the Hair and Outfit? What? Ok well technically he’s in style since this is like the mid-late 80′s then but he looks a little bit like a Flamboyant Pop star from that era and then everybody else is just regular for their character. Then there’s just Shalnark with his fluffy mullet and the oversized suit and the collar

And also if that was his style when and why did he change? We could have had a totally different Shalnark tbh but I’m happy with the one we have.

Anyways

Hope you enjoyed this absolute behemoth  of a post and I may do another one with the next two chapters some time

In the meantime, who knows, just keep doing what you do & make sure you drink enough water so that your pee looks like light pineapple juice or lemonade (that means youre healthy)

[leonardalphachurch]

okay i’m posting this actually to get onions. i originally said all this on discord and am not editing this and probably adding more so this is ramble-y and long as hell. click at your own risk. edit fuck i didn’t even say what this was about. this is. potential rvb tumblr sexyman poll. okay. okay

this is ugly but when i run the actual contest i would make a custom one. anyway here’s how i currently have the standings

north

siris

york

grif

south

connie

wash

simmons

479er

ohio AND/OR idaho AND/OR iowa

maine

wyoming

alpha OR epsilon

tex

kimball

carolina

donut

caboose

tucker

kai

sheila

grey

doc

omega OR o’malley

sarge

locus

kalirama OR chrovos OR genkins ???

one of the ai? one of the blues and reds?

temple

sharkface

felix

write in

so the ORs are going to be qualifier rounds. i figure these characters fit the same niche so it’s very unlikely that someone would vote for one of them in a round and not vote the other so there’s no need to have both- clears up the standings.

this isn’t a 1 vs 32 set up i just ordered them by their contestants. bc i thought a lot about the match ups. trying to figure out a way to avoid sweeps while also making sure minimal heavy hitters are out first round. unless there’s a big upset. which is interesting enough in its own right!

originally i wanted to have grif v simmons bc funny to pit boyfs against each other but i didn’t want wash v york in the first round and i couldn’t think of anyone else to face either of them.

same with tex. tex and wash are such heavy hitters putting them against anyone early on seems unfair. but i don’t want either of them out first round either. but having tex beat church is funnee so it’s okay if she thrashes him

and then simmons and wash are. like simmons doesn’t have much of a chance but they both hit the “ppl who like unhinged men with knives (non villain edition)” demographic so i think they’re fine first round. not ideal but. i don’t know who would be better

okay actually let me explain all of my reasoning. bc i’m insane.

north v siris - dad energy

york v grif - slacker energy

these matchups will PROBABLY get us: york v north - basic white man all the tumblr girlies lose their mind over energy

the other potential match ups for second round are less interesting but they’re not awful and also pretty unlikely imo

south v connie - Women

wash v simmons - unstable knife men (good guy edition)

these will probably get us: wash v south - recovery agent rematch! OR wash v connie - pfl underdog fight

simmons. i cannot foresee simmons winning. but if he does then pairing him against woman. hilarious

from there it will PROBABLY be either york or north v wash and that’s white men tumblr girlies lose their minds over… 2. think it will be york v wash but good match up either way

next section we have:

479er v triplets - minor freelancer characters

maine v wyoming - early villains

the match up that comes out of these will not be the most interesting but it will at least be secondary freelancer characters vs

tex v church - divorced! divorced!

carolina v kimball - women battered by war trying to make a new life for themselves in peace time…. also they’re gay

that will almost certainly get us tex v carolina which. well. heads will fucking roll

from there it’ll probably be: tex v maine - heavyweights fight OR carolina v maine - season 10 rematch!

at this point it’s hard to really predict but all options seem at least semi interesting for the semi finals. and i would bet they’ll be wash v tex which is. battle of the two heaviest hitters imo. absolute blood bath.

i know that no one is reading this but that’s okay i don’t mind talking to myself

anyway

for the right side:

donut v caboose - rookies fight

kai v tucker - sluts fight

i would guess this results in: donut v tucker - sluts fight round 2 OR caboose v tucker - season 2 rematch for churchs attention

sheila v grey - they’re both ladies with a friendly caring exterior that enjoy violence and are kind of unhinged

doc v one of the omegas - will doc finally overcome his inner demons??? (no)

this is kind of a weak section. doc v grey would be a fun match up for battle of the doctors but i’m pretty impartial to who’s taking this section. if anyone has ideas for better match ups here let me know

sarge v locus - this one’s the weakest reasoning for a first round match up honestly. they’re both muscular?? yeah i got nothing. this section needs some serious work so PLEASE give suggestions if you have them. right now my plans for 27 and 28 are to run qualifier rounds but i need to know what people those rounds should be

temple v sharkface - i hate project freelancer *makes out*

felix v audience choice - i couldn’t decide who i wanted to pit against felix and i wanted one option for people to submit a character i hadn’t thought would fit SO i let everyone else pick who versus felix. note that i’m not taking ideas for this one right now, there will be a post once the official rankings are released and whoever gets the most requests will be put in. i want advice for everything else here but i get final say for all other rankings— this one i will put any character regardless of my thoughts on the matter if they have enough votes

this is harder to judge next matchup bc we don’t know who’s there but i think felix will beat whoever so: temple v felix - will you stop monologuing? OR sharkface v felix - s13 villain fight

next matchup i PRAY would be felix v locus. we need this. locus kick his ass baby.

i do also kind of want felix to win that tho bc then we get felix and tucker in the semifinals and well. TUCKER KICK HIS ASS BABY.

i guess this means i foresee final match up being wash v tucker. and wash winning. i guess it always comes back to tuckington damn.

anyway predicting the final match ups isn’t whats important here whats important is making sure they’re all interesting and no matter who’s in the finals it’s gonna be interesting.

right now like i said before i really need advice on the 25-28 seed section. i wouldn’t mind advice on the 17-24 or really any of the sections tho. you can see i have thought. a LOT about making the most compelling match ups but if you think you have better idea please share.

thanks for reading all this also what’s wrong with you for reading all this.

[stillhavetodothat]

Replaying Nancy Drew without Cheating - Part 5: Secret of the Scarlet Hand

FINALLY! We have reached a game in which I can probably count on a single hand how many times I have replayed it!! A few days ago I sat down at my laptop, rolled my neck out, cracked my knuckles, and got ready to buckle down: I knew this was going to be the first challenge of my mission to replay all Nancy Drew games without cheating.

And spoiler alert. It was.

Let me start out by saying that I sleep on this game constantly. It’s like I forget it exists. For some reason, of all the games I bought and played as a kid, this is one game that was missing from the collection probably until I was an older teenager. I had played almost every game in the first 10 games many many times over before I even played this game once. As a kid, all the history bored me. Every single game has had some historical element to it (even if it was a made-up history), but for some reason this one just reeeeally stood out to me as extra educational. And I already felt bogged down by the amount of education I was receiving in my elementary classroom.

However, I would like to formally apologize to you, SSH, as you are interesting, fun, hilarious, tough at times, and a little bit dark. You’re everything a Nancy Drew game should be, and I am sorry for underappreciating you the past 20 years.

Was I extremely tempted to cheat in this game? Yes. Multiple times. So much so that I am actually impressed by my willpower, and I am actually very proud of myself for getting through it without a walkthrough FOR THE FIRST TIME EVAR!! Thank god for this blog which for some reason is making me feel held accountable, regardless of whether anyone reads any of it or not.

Here are all the times I was tempted to cheat. Many, many spoilers abound, obviously.

1. In the beginning of the game, when I had to find the addenda to the monolith loan agreement to bring to Alejandro del Rio. I searched for about 45 minutes, sprinting up and down the exhibition hall and up and down the temple steps, to find that damn loan addenda. I wanted to cheat, I NEEDED to cheat, but I gave it another few minutes and found a bench in the museum lobby that I had somehow never seen before. Eurrreka!

2. Looking for fucking Sonny Joon’s username and password. WHY?? WHY DID I SOMEHOW READ EVERY SINGLE OTHER THING ON HIS DISK BUT SOMEHOW MISS THE VERY EXPLICIT USERNAME AND PASSWORD WRITTEN RIGHT THERE?? Not me literally at the computer in the temple trying to guess Sonny’s username (sonnyjoon? sj? kokokringle?) with no success.

3. Trying to figure out HOW Topeka Commission of the Arts was associated with Beech Hill. I KNEW I had to somehow be triggered into contacting Prudence Rutherford (because who can forget a shrill phone contact with a very ambiguous accent?), but could not for the life of me figure out how. I read that magazine interview in Joanna’s office approximately 10 times and spent a small fortune on metro rides around the city of Washington DC before I clicked on the plaque outside of Joanna’s office. The funny thing was, I had clicked on the plaque on the OTHER side of the door at the beginning of the game, but since nothing happened I figured the other one was probably equally unimportant. This was the most frustrating one I think.

4. Speaking of phone contacts, the fact that you can only call Copper Canyon from the hotel and get a error tone every time you try at the museum is MADDENING. It took me forever to talk to Sheila because I could not get this concept into my head. I still can’t.

5. I stg I thought I was going to have to cheat once I was locked inside the monolith, because I have NEVER solved it on my own without a walkthrough. But it was actually not hard? WHY AM I SO LAZY?? At the very least, this project of mine is really teaching me that I need to be more patient.

Here are some other random thoughts on this game:

1. Taylor Sinclair is absolutely hysterical. He is an amazing culprit. Everything out of his mouth is an unexpected riot. He just seems...slippery. I can forgive that HerInteractive gave us the biggest bores in the world in Louis and Lisa, since they then delivered an insane, slightly demented old man who isn’t afraid to kidnap a teenage girl, and then an eccentric, small-mustachioed LUNATIC of an art dealer as the next two culprits. I just...chef’s kiss.

2. Because of how much I love Taylor, I am horribly disappointed that we can’t poke around his office when he runs out at the most convenient time for us to take something off the Poppy Dada piece. Also, why was he running out so suddenly? Was he about to shit his pants from those Oaxaca cookies? Is that the joke? Whatever that was, it was not very well fleshed out.

3. I wrote “spooky Maya” in looping cursive in my notes. Why?

4. Loved the storyline of Henrik van der Hune falling down the temple steps and losing his memory. Brilliant. Also loved seeing Henrik groaning and sprawled on the floor. Brilliant.

5. Is this why I had a crush on Henrik as a teenager? His vaguely sexual landing at the bottom of the pyramid? Why are my biggest Nancy Drew game crushes Dexter Egan and Henrik van der Hune? I am just as disturbed as you are, trust me.

6. Tell me why Her created that surreal maze puzzle on Louis’s laptop in MHM and thought it was such a good puzzle that they had to reuse it for this game?

7. I initially was praising the game devs for staying true to the layout of the city when building out their simplified DC metro map, until I realized that Beech Hill is located up in the northeast, near Fort Totten, but the museum’s address, according to the invoice in Joanna’s office, is in the SW quadrant. Hmmmmmm.

8. “Semper ubi sub ubi” means always wear underwear. I looked it up and I hate to say anything nice about Joanna Riggs but that is a good conversation sign-off.

9. The way I stalked that Shipping and Receiving room waiting for packages to arrive...it hit way too close to home.

10. What in god’s name was this ending?? I forgot how weird this is, these 3 showing up as soon as I get the monolith open. How long were they waiting  while I was struggling to breathe in that thing? They’re just standing there, all in a row, reciting some creepy rehearsed poem with shit-eating grins and unblinking stares on their faces. How long had they been planning this??

11. Taylor Sinclair’s face and him shouting “ConFOUND you, Nancy Drew!” while shaking his fist at the heavens almost makes up for it, though. Taylor Sinclair: the only culprit thus far willing to lock you in a prison of stone - with an ancient mummy forever frozen in a scream - with the full intention of letting you suffocate, starve to death, and not be found for literally hundreds of years. The gruesome scoundrel!

This game is fun. It was a nice surprise. There is a TON to do: it is challenging and there’s lots of snooping and puzzles to solve. There are also a bunch of components that are unique, like Henrik’s hospital stay and Taylor Sinclair’s existence. Writing this, I do realize there are plenty of flaws...the game is finicky and you have to do things a very certain way in a very certain order, some of the tasks are tedious (those temple quizzes), the ending scene is perterbing, and the maze game is an unwelcome reminder of Louis Chandler. Not a favorite, but I appreciate this game for all its quirks and storytelling.

MOON LAKE, I’M COMIN’ FOR YA! 

[writers-worst-nightmare]

say could I have you take on how Juno, Legoshi and Sheila reaction lets say human are from a totally different galaxy and they came to the Beastar world and Juno, Legoshi and Ellen know that on the human world there are animals like them but not them and thy befriended a human S/O who is from an animal sanctuary so S/O too them to the sanctuary and thy see all the feral animals and S/O takes them to see their wolf buddy and thy meet a big white wolf with yellow eyes that looked intimidating but S/O Gives the big white wolf lots of pets and says "This is Tina she was the runt of the litter and was rejected by her mother so I raised her and look how big she has grown"

Juno, Legoshi, and Sheila reacting to having a human s/o who is from another galaxy but that isn’t important to the story because there is a hot wolf:

A/N: this was a LITTLE confusing but after a lot of hard work and a Mother Mother playlist I figured out what you meant (again, if I got this request wrong just like re-send It or explain it. My little brain cells are srsly being fried)

Request are always open!

Warning(s): N/A (please correct me if wrong though)

JUNO:

- when you first arrived she already was pretty shocked and honestly just clung to Legoshi

- but when she saw YOU

- oh God I hope you are ready to get spammed with a bunch of questions

- I will DIE on the head canon that Juno LOVES to learn about new things and ask a bunch of questions whenever a new topic is introduced to her

- like I think that would just be super cute and funny

- idk honestly

- when you explained everything to her she realized as fast as she could and was actually the one who suggested they went to the place where you worked at

- I know what it is but I have dyslexia and it is like SUPER hard for me to spell it out I am so so so so sooo sorry

- once you took her to the place she was honestly afraid

- I mean, she wasn’t far from the animals there themselves either

- so whenever you said that you where going to take them to the wolf section Juno got REALLY nervous

- she feels self conscious as she walks over there, feeling her energy going down the drain as she stares at the wolves in front of her

- then you guys got to the biggest wolf their probably (although she didn’t pay attention to size that much)

- she was pretty afraid

- this was a white wolf so she was already small compared to them

- but when she saw HER

- the strong teeth of the wolf that looked like he could bite her head off without even trying to

- and don’t even get her STARTED about the yellow blazing eyes that looked like a warning on it’s own to not go NEAR that wolf

- she hid behind you as everyone went up to the wolf

"This is Tina she was the runt of the litter and was rejected by her mother so I raised her and look how big she has grown"

- you said as you bent down and petted the white wolf on the head

- Tina wagged her tail and lolled out his head slightly to the left

- you bent down and scratched the wolves ears, the wold looked away in embarrassment but still secretly wanting more

- she instantly felt bad that she thought Tina was a big bad wolf

- and honestly she felt selfish

- I mean if anybody looked at Juno they would guess that she is feisty because she was a wolf

- and because of that she did not have a lot of friends,

- so she went up to Tina and head butted with her

- Tina looked taken back for a moment before a big goofy smile played on the wolves face

- the piercing and once cold yellow eyes seemed less of a warning and more of a welcome sign that you would see on somebodies door mate

- Tina and Juno stood their for a while before Juno howled out loud as in a celebration of welcoming somebody in the pack

- Tina jumped up and down with excitement before joining in

- You also got the hint and joined in as well

LEGOSHI:

- “Is there a book about this..?”

- Legoshi would whisper as you drag him to the place you work at

- let’s say you took everyone to meet Tina (omg why did that autocorrect to Tian so many times) different times so the white wold didn’t get stressed

- Legoshi isn’t one to judge on looks so in his spare time, while everyone was looking at the birds and other animals he did some research for the white wolf

- he learned quiet a few interesting things

- a lot he didn’t need to know, but still it was nice to read it

- another head canon that I will die on is that Legoshi likes to research

- like he does research in his free time, he does research when he is suppose to be doing homework

- he does research EVERYWHERE AND ANYWHERE

- that and reading classics

- BUT THIS IS NOT THE TIME TO TALK ABOUT THAT NOW IS IT!?!?

- he found out the best ways to approach a white wolf and how to get the old acquainted with you

- so best be prepared when you called Legoshi’s name for him to see the wolf, he wasn’t that surprised when he saw how Tina looked

- I mean, she looked like any other regular wolf

- however—even he had to admit—the wolf did look more scarier in person then in pictures

- and the yellow gleaming eyes didn’t help either

"This is Tina she was the runt of the litter and was rejected by her mother so I raised her and look how big she has grown"

- you explained as you gave Tina some pets

- Legoshi nodded his head then literally plopped on the ground

- he read somewhere to keep your distance and look them in the eyes

- Legoshi tried to look this wolf in the eyes, but he couldn’t

- leave him alone, best boi tried :(

- Tina had to come to Legoshi and give him a few licks

- Legoshi would laugh breathlessly

- and that was the first time you saw Legoshi smile

- he usually never smiled because of his sharp teeth but now, his has kind of forgotten that he was wolf

- You smiled warmly as the two greeted each other with smiles and hugs and affection

- Legoshi’s head would be basically exploding he wouldn’t know what to do

- and what he ended up doing

- was crying

- for the first time, it hit him like a train,

- what hit him like a train? You might ask

- well it is…

- that nobody could love him if he didn’t open up and expose his trauma

- he has closed his doors and kept up his walls for so many people

- but this wolf, this wold, didn‘t know anything about boundaries

- all Tina knew was hunt, eat, sleep, love, repeat

- and that

- that made Legoshi cry tears of joy

- this wolf would never face the dangers that the world had to offer because she was with you

- and that was all it took for Legoshi to cry while smiling

SHEILA:

- I honestly have no idea what to do for her, she is such a side character oml

- POOR GIRL WAS SO CONFUSED

- “won’t there be like…herbavore’s there…?”

- she would ask as she shifts her feet in discomfort

- “not for now…although I do plan to open it to both herbavore’s and carnivore’s!”

- you cheerfully boasted as the cheetah looked at you through narrowed eyes

- “I don’t think we should mix with the—“

- “for the love of God, shut the hell up!”

- she gets very worried when she goes through the butterfly section in fear of hurting the precious creatures

- you had to calm her down and actually go through the steps with her on how to not hurt a butterfly

- she mostly spent her time with the cheetah‘s and butterfly’s so she got a little pouty when you said it was time for her to meet the wolf

- I mean she didn’t even LIKE wolves so why did she have to put up with one!?

- but when she got into the area her blood ran cold

- right in front of her was the largest white wolf she had ever seen with menacing yellow eyes and long sharp teeth and matching razor sharp claws that could most certainly kill a butterfly AND her with no effort whatsoever

"This is Tina she was the runt of the litter and was rejected by her mother so I raised her and look how big she has grown"

- you stated as you started scratching Tina’s ears

- Sheila calmed down almost instantly when she heard the soft whimpers and the way Tina positioned her head so she wouldn’t accidentally bite your hand off

- that was actually really nice of Tina

- so once you got done petting Tina Sheila started to gently soak Tina’s back

- the swipes where soft and filled with meaning behind every stroke

- she ended up sleeping with the friendly giant on her lap like she was a puppy

- and you of course took pictures so the Drama Club could see that Their amazing club meme bear had a soft spot for Tina too

- and it got on the first page of the News

[danny-chase]

@karrya

“I couldn’t tell from your OP if you hate Jason or not. So I was scrolling through your blog, reading a lot of relatable batfam stuff, but still struggling to figure out your exact tone for Jason. In some posts it sounds like you’re cool with him, others you dislike him. So what exactly are your thoughts on Jason’s character? Does it depend on the comic/series?”

This is going to get way too long so I’ll add a cut to this one.

Right so my opinions on Jason are informed both by comics and fandom so I’ll do my best to separate them here. My opinions are subject to change, and quite frankly they change a lot, this is doing its best to be a comprehensive list of my current opinions. Be warned this is a literal essay on Jason Todd.

1) Canon - Robin Jason

Right so let’s start with the very beginning, Jason as a copy paste of Dick Grayson with strawberry blond hair. He was a cutie. I thought the blond hair was very funny. I adore the panel where Dick is like “i wanna adopt him” and Bruce is like “no me first”. 

Next up I read his appearances in The New Titans (or NTT - can’t remember which one he was in). They were pretty fun, he was a funky little guy and it was fun to see him interact with Dick’s friends (they’re all like please lead us and Jason is like... I’m 12, please get your crap together). These comics have Dick giving Jason his number and old costume and thanking him after the Brother Blood fiasco (I have no idea how much you know about NTT/NT, but Dick spent a looooooong time brainwashed and Jason helped save him and Raven).  

From here I read Death in the Family (I haven’t read any of the stories leading up to it though). Firstly I can’t believe he just up and flew to another continent by himself, like bruh, I’m in college I was so scared to like move to another place and live on my own during my summer internship I don’t know how the little guy did it. He is a bit impulsive in this arc - and I think that’s forgotten by a lot of the fandom - they retconned Jason’s character before his death to be impulsive/brash. Yes it’s 100% Sheilas and Jokers fault, and both Bruce and Jason make bad decisions. One bad decision shouldn’t condemn you to death - and I think it would be interesting if DC explored this idea more (instead of making it only about brash and impulsive Jason - that’s boring and victim blamey) that dying was an extremely disproportionate response. 

Think it of it this way, consider Jason found out his mother was alive, and telling no one, got on the plane, but then the plane crashed. It’s not Jason’s fault that the plane crashed, but Jason made the decision to get on the plane, and Bruce didn’t realize it. Unfortunately DC pretty much is incapable of nuance and hasn’t really handed the situation in a way I like.

2) Canon - Aftermath of death in the family

Jason is not brought up much in canon post Death in the Family, but the times he’s brought up it’s really interesting - as long as it doesn’t fall into the victim blaming mentality. 

First - an arc I like - Dick handling the fallout of Jason’s death. So in The New Titans, Dick returns from being on an off world mission with the Titans and Danny - a newer member had been looking through files and noticed Jason died. He tells Dick that Jason dies (very rudely). He confronts Bruce, and in an incredibly raw scene, is punched by Bruce and kicked out of the Manor (and unfairly blamed for Jason’s death). Dick’s upset to the point of going to therapy and actually fires Danny from the team because he can’t be responsible for someone Jason’s age.  He feels guilty about not being there for Jason, but overcomes this guilt in a Secret Files issue - he knows there was nothing he could have done. 

Later on the only times I can recall Jason being brought up with Dick are once in a fight between Tim and Dick where Dick says something along the lines of “You never have to worry about your safety with Bruce and I” and Tim responds with “Jason Todd”. The moment is kind of heart wrenching because you can see Dick just look so utterly devastated - you can tell how much he misses Jason. The other time is Last Laugh where Dick kills the Joker  (you can watch him snap in real time when joker invokes Jason’s name) and afterwards while beating himself up over the incident, he’s found looking at a bunch of photographs, one of which is labelled “Me and Jason”. There’s another time he’s passed out and hallucinates/dreams Jason who talks to him in a dreamscape, but I don’t rember details.

In Dick’s reaction to Jason’s death, you don’t see any (or maybe there is and I haven’t read the comic) of the victim blaming. It’s Dick’s stories so it’s mostly focused on Dick’s reactions rather than saying much about Jason. Dick takes responsibility (maybe a bit too much though) - he recognizes that he gave Jason his old costume - his seal of approval, and accepts his part of the blame. It’s a story about losing a loved one and never being able to properly say goodbye and dealing with the thoughts of “what if I had done something different” as well as having to deal with his grieving father not handling things well (i’m being generous with the phrasing). 

Now Bruce’s arc is different and it’s interesting to compare the two. Bruce starts working himself to death and becoming reckless after Jason dies. He doesn’t talk about it and has to be stopped by Dick and Tim from going down a self destructive path. What I think is really interesting is that Bruce was willing to take Tim in after Jason died. Because logically it just doesn’t make sense - and Bruce is grieving so it doesn’t have to be logical, but it’s interesting all the same. Why would Bruce take in another kid after Jason? This is something I wished was explored more.

There’s also the claim of “Bruce was only a bad dad after Jason died” which depending on the canon you use is or isn’t true. Robin Year One and Teen Titans Year One and Titans 1999 show him not being a great dad to Dick, but I do think it’s interesting to see how Bruce’s parenting was impacted after Jason died.

Bruce brings Jason up to Cass once as a reason for not letting her go out, and it’s very clear he sees Jason’s death as his failure (and naturally DC leans it into Jason being reckless/impulsive which is disappointing). Tim hallucinates Jason at one point who victim blames himself during the dream sequence. I see Cass’s relationship with dead!Jason more interesting because it shows the disparity between how much Bruce values Cass’s life with the amount Cass values her own life.

Opinions of Jason based on this era - overall it’s very interesting to see how different characters respond to his death, and when he’s brought up it’s generally pretty interesting to see how characters react. This can fall into victim blaming territory which isn’t great but it does tend to pique my curiosity about Jason’s early days and what things would have been like had he never died. I don’t like some of the retcons made during this era with Jason being shown occasionally in flashbacks.

3) Canon - UTRH, PreNew 52

The villain Jason era. Under the Red Hood was pretty meh in my opinion, and I would have liked him to have been revealed as the true identity of Hush instead. I guess I just like Hush as a story better, and it was kind of anticlimactic to see him be revealed in UTRH after the Hush tease. 

I read the one Titans Tower issue and was kind of underwhelmed. But Jason dressing up as Robin was pretty iconic and he made for a pretty terrifying and ruthless villain here. 

I read the Brother’s in Blood arc and Jason as a villain in that was pretty weird/funny. This is tentacle jason so like... idk what anyone expects me to say about it. I thought it was hilarious and a funny arc. His dynamic with Dick is also kind of funny (i don’t like Dick’s characterization in the 1 year later comics though), but it’s really funny that Jason dressed up as Nightwing and ran around killing people to fuck with Dick. And then kept calling him Dickie and harrassed him. In conclusion I think this jason was funny, I kind of wish there was more because I thought the arc was hilarious.

Battle for the Cowl Jason - this Jason was a terrifyingly competent villain capable of hacking his way past the batfamily’s sensors and invading the batcave. He was also ruthless, nearly killing both Damian and Tim. He even sprayed Dick with fear gas during their fight and fell off a bridge afterwards to make a point. His costume was on point imo, while most people take this entire thing as not being in character for Jason, I actually despite all odds like him in this comic. He was dramatic. Unapologetically evil. Incredibly deadly. He seemed like he was being set up as a villain on Dick’s level and I was interested in seeing how this would be resolved.

Batman and Robin 2009 Jason. Ah. How Battle of the Cowl Jason was resolved. I liked the red hair coming back (yes i know i’m weird) but I thought him dying his hair as a child was a fun bit of backstory drama. He had pimples which was eh? Condom head costume was... sigh. I wish he kept the scary batman suit. It seemed like he was kind of there to laugh at. Also him having a child sidekick and then calling Dick out for having a child sidekick was... LMAO. Anyways this Jason ends up in Arkham after Arkham was renovated into being like... actually kind of nice and I wish canon had expanded on that more, because it would have been interesting seeing Jason in therapy sessions (and maybe Dick, Tim, and Damian visiting) but instead he just switched to Black Gate because Bruce is dumb and ended up killing 80 people. Thanks DC.

So anyways. I liked Jason as a villain most of the time. I thought he made an interesting character as a villain, I don’t think he had a moral code, I think he was just selfish and angry and honestly? I liked him like that. He was dramatic - you knew he could put up a good fight, and he could keep pace as he was on the same level or above the heroes he was fighting. He was unpredictable - kept you guessing, and you could never be quite sure how the fight would end. Unfortunately his character was no where near consistent, with morrison’s Jason being (unsurprisingly) particularly bad.

4) Canon - New52

I read RHATO 2011. I hated it. There was no plot. Jason was a generic sad boi that I really didn’t care about. And it destroyed two characters that I like: Roy and Kory (Titans 2008 had started the job but ohhh boy did RHATO finish it). I hate the retcons made to Roy’s character - I hate that Kory’s only there to be a sex object, and it makes me resentful of Jason as a character that the others were used to prop him up.

Jason was also just... generic in this. Like he reminds me of every angsty boy I knew/know in high school/college. The entire series fell flat for me and turned me off of Jason content for a bit - hence why I haven’t read Rebirth RHATO.

I have read Robin War, Batman Eternal, and Batman and Robin Eternal, all of which include Jason. Robin War and Batman and Robin Eternal were both bad imo, the characterizations were flat and for some reason Tim and Jason are besties for no reason, with no build up. Iirc Batman Eternal has Barbara retconned into telling Jason something like “you’ll never be Dick Grayson” or something and I think this storyline of people being retconned into hating baby jason for being rash and impuslive is dumb af and lessens the tragedy of his death and makes characters I like seem shitty for no reason. Hence, I didn’t like Jason in any of these, or at the best, was indifferent.

5) Canon - Now (Robins, Robin, Urban Legends)

I think it’s dumb. I think Jason being the most emotional one in this way is dumb. I think him giving up guns is boring. I think him hugging Damian was fanservicy and literally just made Jason look stupid. I think current Jason is stupid. It seems like the Robins in general are suffering from standing too close to the kid genius that is Tim Drake (which i think is stupid) and losing all their brain cells. Everything I’ve seen Jason in recently has been one dimensional and boring and it’s kind of neat that Jason’s utopia is everyone being together and happy but I don’t want to see that become a reality in comics because I like messy Batfamily drama. I thought the plotline where he adopted Tyler for a bit had potential (especially in making Jason reflect on his morals) but I never finished it because I lost track of it amongst all the comics coming out. 

WFA Jason full-body tackled a 9 year old for a cookie and I can respect that. 

6) Fanon

I’ll state right now that horny/hot Jason art doesn’t pique my interest. I don’t think he’s hot. I don’t really think men are hot (ironic, I know, considering I’m a Dick Grayson fan). That part of the fandom doesn’t interest me.

The pit mad headcanon - I hate it. It often comes off as people being like I want to justify everything Jason’s done, therefore he was “pit mad”. This post sums up why I don’t like it. 

Feminist Jason. I don’t like it. It comes across as “extrajudicial murder is feminist, actually” and I just don’t know where it comes from (and every single time it boils down to he reads Jane Austen like I get it)? It seems like part of the fandom wants Jason to be super progressive, while keeping his murdering criminals way of thinking and just like no??? Murdering people who’ve committed crimes (even the “worst crimes”, yes) is not progressive and tbh it worries me that some people think this way. It also sometimes comes off as, Jason must be feminist/progressive because he grew up poor in a bad part of town and was homeless. And that’s just not how people work? His world view would be impacted by his childhood, but that doesn’t necessarily mean that he would grow up to be progressive.

The “Jason’s moral code is justifiable” arguments don’t sit right with me because it sounds like Punisher rhetoric, and it sounds like y’all condone murder sometimes and that ain’t it. Nope it doesn’t make it better if its only “drug dealers, abusers, and rapists” Jason is human, fallible, and has not only targeted these groups in canon (he tried to kill tim and damian remember?). Besides that I kind of like... believe in human rights, and yes those rights apply to criminals. But y’all can call me out as an idealist, and I’ll just call you brainwashed by crime and punishment rhetoric.

Jason as part of the batfam. His relationship with Dick (WHEN NOT INCEST) is the most interesting to me, and the relationship I think has the most potential - Dick’s killed the joker which is something Bruce never did, and Dick and Jason were chill when Jason was younger which could be fun (sometimes I dream of an AU where Dick adopted Jason and co-raised him with the Titans). But mostly fanon seems interested in portraying Dick as a bad big brother to Jason and I’m not interested - why would I read stuff that trashes one of my faves without any basis in canon? I find the stuff with Tim kind of boring because I’m not really interested in Tim and I’m petty so I resent the New52 for making Tim and Jason close at the expense of Dick and Tim’s relationship. I also am not interested because half the time it’s just Tim fans trashing Dick with no basis in canon or demonizing Damian for trying to kill Tim despite Jason who tried 4 times to kill Tim being completely forgiven. Anytime I’ve seen Cass in a fic with Jason, she’s so ooc it hurts because imo her Batgirl run is soooo much better - not just better than Jason’s but better than like every comic I’ve read. I’ve seen some people ship Steph and Jason and i’m really not interested. I’m also not interested in Jason in relation to Damian because it comes off as weird seeing as they don’t really have a relationship in canon/Damian’s not really a fan of Jason. Duke deserves more content and could potentially have some fun interactions with Jason but I don’t know if I trust people to write Duke after seeing how Cass gets written when Jason’s around. Barbara and Jason I think also has potential as an interesting relationship, but i do not give one crap about able bodied Babs, or Jasonbabs 

My own fanon Jason Todd that I’ve included in some of my writing is generally just me having no idea wtf to do with him and working off of some of the better fics I’ve seen him appear in. He’s kind of frustrating for me to write because I have almost nothing but fanon to work off of, and I genuinely don’t really know how he would react in a lot of circumstances. I might start writing him as a villain eventually, because despite everything, I’ve kinda warmed up to villainous Jason. 

TL;DR

A lot of my dislike of Jason boils down to - he literally sucks the personality of everyone. It seems like writers tend to make the characters he’s with less interesting to prop up Jason and those happen to be characters that I like. Another petty dislike it seems like writers are just trying to make him Dick Grayson 2.0 and I like Dick Grayson, I like DickRoy, I like Dick and Tim’s relationship, and it seems like DC just gave Jason connections with these characters without any build up, and took them away from Dick for no reason.

What I like about Jason is his time as Robin and his time as a villain. I might just have bad tastes (true statement) but I thought he was more fun as a villain - he was someone that knew all their methods and how they think which made him a unique opponent. There was the dramatic irony of Jason not knowing the Joker was killed (somewhat over him). There was Jason being the most dramatic villain ever to the point of dressing up in the Robin, Nightwing, and Batman costumes to make a point. To the point of falling off a bridge to make a point! He was so dramatic and the family drama was juicy and I was so there for the tea.

[batarangsoundsdumb]

yet another ask dump yeehaw!

do you ever think that jay's mother was one of those bitch who believes in horoscope and tarots and things like that and so he believes in these things too, or it is just me projecting?

sheila haywood took one look at jason's birthchart said 'nah this won't do' and left.

Wait, but what happens when the justice league does find out that Bruce and John fucked? Lmao it sounds like it would be hilarious, really, I don’t want a justice league that doesn’t make fun of Bruce for like his entire life.

barry runs out of the meeting immediately and comes back with an entire sti testing kit. diana fully seriously wants bruce to get tested while bruce is sitting there like 'come on guys, you're being ridiculous, i already checked twice'

john is standing in the corner clearly offended while bruce is just like 'don't even say anything, constantine, you fucked a shark'

tim was like "i'm drake now" and everyone was like ahh so your fursona is a dragon and tim was like pffffft no. ducks.

on the one hand, good for him, on the other hand, bro, how do you still have a secret identity when your superhero name is just your last name,,,,

Your fic on ao3 was GOLD PLEASE CONTINUE I loved Dinah's cameo btw ( @purple-vixen

thanks so much! i already continued but this ask is like 10 years old because i'm a notorious procrastinator (also yes! i love dinah so much aahhhhhhhhhhhh)

I've FINALLY been watching the Batman animated series and I gotta say, after watching "the gray ghost" I am CONVINCED that Batman is a closeted super hero geek who was 100% freaking out the first time he met Superman and is just REALLY good at hiding it.

bruce internally: holy fuck holy shit holy fuck holy shit holy fuck holy shit holy fuck holy shit holy fuck holy shit bruce externally: get out of my city, alien

AHHH ur multimedia fic is the only thing that brings me happiness anymore continue it forever pls

uhh thanks, but can't continue it forever because my attention span is that of a toddler on crack on a good day and i can't function without at least 10 things going on at the same time and music in the background

Oi, so I'm getting into dc and watching batman the animated series, and they use fruitcake a lot. Which I thought was very funny and wanted to share w you - Denilla

wait like fruitcake (food) or fruitcake (derogatory) ?

young justice 🤝 teen titans slut shaming batman

tim drake and dick grayson to their respective teams 'you guys stop it, that's my dad'

Happyhoganon: If an eighty year old Batman had fought crime in Gotham City for decades and the only threats to him and the city lately are a wheel chair bounded Penguin, your usual purse snatchers and a few con artists popping up every now and then, how well could the Dark Knight do in maintaining the peace in Gotham despite him being just somewhat fit to do that as an elderly man (which says A LOT given how old he is)

uhh he'll probably do what my grandpa does and that is ruthlessly prank them until they die of shame.

in the death in the family interactive movie there's an ending where Jason is tasked with raising Damian and he decides he's gonna raise Damian to take down the waynes and al ghuls which uh maybe isn't great BUT the idea of Jason raising Damian... PRICELESS. CHAOTIC. I just need more people to know about this :)

yes i saw that wow holy shit but jason would accidentally drop damian on his head one (1) hour in and jason just yeets him into the lazarus pit.

Headcanon: The Penguin has a really hard time fighting any of the Robins because of his avian obsession means there's always a small part of his mind that's like "Birb. Child. Protect" ( @subspacecadet )

as soon as dick becomes nightwing the penguin is like 'you know what, fuck this dude' and shoots at him.

Y'all talking about King Shark dating Constantine, let's not forget about John literally hooking up with Satan

listen there's a clear difference between monsterfucker and satanfucker in that king shark is literally a shark and satan still looks like a normal dude

Does everyone in Gotham think Batman is a teen dad?

everyone in gotham thinks batman has been around since gotham was founded, but they do think that bruce wayne is actually a teen father and dick grayson's biological dad.

why. why would you do that fancast when you know it will only hurt people

what? i loved my fancast it was really well done. i did it with good representation in mind and i really managed that with alfred pennyworth being ✨italian✨

Seeing james charles a jason gave me psychic damage how dare you i need to wash my eyes

well that's a you problem isn't it?

do you think dick grayson thirst tweets about nightwing just to annoy his family/cause problems on purpose in general?

he thinks nightwing is hot, next question.

holy jiminy cricket batman, its as cold as the good lords ass crack in here!!

i- what? this is why i don't fuck with english expressions it's way too goddamn weird

Brooooooo, your teen dad!Bruce au is soooo good. I've got brainrot.

Honestly if you ever write anymore, I'd read that shit twice. Sign me the fuck up. Good stuff, Good Stuff.

uh yeah i'm thinking about writing a fic, but i have exams coming up and i don't wanna fail because that would suck. but after i'll certainly be writing more tho

your teen dad AU is so great! bruce acting like a big brother for all of like a week before he's telling everyone about his son. what if in the AU dick meets the JL because they need to rescue him? maybe he's in trouble/kidnapped at a gala and bruce starts calling for JL. clark finds him and has to fly with dick to bring him home - that's how dick and clark meet and superman becomes dick's fave hero. he goes around the manor thinking he can fly with a red blanket draped around him like a cape.

actually- if you want a young dad! bruce fic with like that kinda stuff(just with damian) go check uhh- in for a penny by cdelphiki. it's really good and bruce is like 24/25-ish. (and dick's there!!!)

This account has solely convinced me that Tim is a trash goblin ( @hamilcat-and-magic-turtle )

because he is. that boy has slept in dumpsters on multiple occasions even if he is the son of a billionaire.

Okay but when you said victory dance I did think of the whole justice league defeating the big bad and then they all start flossing

well that's exactly what hal jordan does and that's why batman uses a gun now. no but the victory dance in my opinion is like the 'we're all in this together' dance from high school musical.

The horrors in Invincible s1 was nothing compared to the comics, I cant wait for s2

oh well okay, i mean i personally react to horror and violence by laughing awkwardly so i can't wait to be called a monster for accidentally laughing at a mass murder.

I'm currently watching Batman: The Brave and The Bold and- Bruce is just talking about Oliver like he's an old love (@nightwings-kid)

okay im going to watch that lmao that's totally and completely in character for him tho.

The invincible comic is like super gratuitous with its violence so much so I'm shocked the show was able to adapt it in a faithful way! Anyway had the show been live action it absolutely wouldn't have the same impact as it does as an animated show and I'm so glad so many people agree with me on that

also because a live action casting would've been like uhh amanda stenberg for amber, the dude- the guy from the supernatural but with a mustache for omni-man, and scarlet johanssen for debbie grayson

Debbie grayson is a milf, yes. You're welcome for the invincible propoganda, now you can questions your life. Bruce def seems like the perfect father next to Omni-man. Like they really took a rip off justice league and I was like well, now I'm attached even tho I was like hah I know who they're supposed to be. And then bam- death gore death gore gore gore sad Mark grayson just had to have daddy issues. Why does every character have daddy issues. I'm sick of the attacks

because daddy issues make a person arguably funnier, that's why i'm not even remotely funny (haha good dad flex). i liked that it was dark contextually, but not in the colouring, bc i hate when it's like 'uh yeah graphic murder and now a shot so dark you have to sit in a dark room and squint at the screen to faintly see the characters. (like dcau ugh)

About the Wayne insurance, for a moment I thought you would put the video with moans over the waves.

i mean- i could've done that, but rick rolling seemed more family friendly.

Its the first time in forever that im surpise rickrolled, i usually expect it. Congratulations (i really should know better this is tumblr)

i get rickrolled so often but i actually like the song so i dont really give a fuck

Actually, my information about Damian and John's kids is outdated because it was revealed that the old men telling the kids stories about the Supersons were actually Jon and Damian the whole time. I was blinded by my thirst for Grandpa!Bruce Wayne but I was wrong... I liked my version better, tbh (@artemisa97)

fair enough. but i'd honestly like to see damian and jon getting together, just because it's a really fun dynamic and their friendship was really cute when they were kids. (also idk maybe it would be nice to have one (1) main batfam/superfam character that's not cishet)

How am i JUST finding your blog skdskfkd you're so fucking funny and ur takes are hot

i thought u were calling me hot :( but youre not :( crime detected (but lmao thanks)

So I have depression and I swear that your memes are one of the few things that have made me laugh so thank you 💛🥺 (@katekanebadass)

aw you're welcome, and i hope you're doing okay!

The metropolis memes are so funny, I love them 💀😌

i think metropolis is also so fucking funny it deserves more attention imagine having your entire police force being upstaged by an alien from kansas and his kids

as an american i feel your complete lack of knowledge of us geography is just so sexy (platonic) ❤️

thanks so much (i also don't know any other geography, i'm not kidding, like you can tell me you're from hungary and it will just blank, there will be nothing that comes to mind)

In the DC universe they don't say "Can't have shit in Detroit" they say "Can't have shit in Gotham"

this just reminds me of that guy whose porch got stolen like the steps to his door, and i'm thinking of people living in gotham and waking up without a front door and going "can't have shit in gotham"

honestly all i know about chicago is the bean, so. what would gotham's famous sculpture be?

gigantic gargoyle statue in front of one of the police precincts because a villain thought it was a smart way to keep the police inside, but it's too heavy to move.

why tf do people go on about how batman "works alone" or how he's the "lone wolf" when he like 38290202 members in his family

bc people think it's cool that a grown man in his 30s has no friends or family instead of calling it what it is (sad)

Bruce is gotham's sugar daddy

why would say something so controversial yet so brave.

my favorite batfamily fanfictions are the ones where they use their shitty codenames, unironically, in any context

dick: gerard way are you in position, gerard way are you in position

tim: for the last fucking time, my codename is 'totally not count olaf' this week, abbafan 3000

dick: shut up my codename isn't 'abbafan 3000'

dick: it's 'abbafan number 1' and you know it

I have a feeling Tim drake is ur favourite batfamily member but okay u don't have favs if u say so ok

i mean he is, i won't deny it. but i love each and every one of the batfam just the same, i just have a weak spot for short dumbass nerds, because i'm a short dumbass nerd.

Omg i fuckin love boy meets world too fam shsjkfk

bro boy meets world was the shit!!! it was just fire and awesome and so fucking great like bro. it was so good im not even going to be accepting criticism

you know I find the whole "joker completes batman" thing a bit disgusting considering the horrendous stuff the batfamily went through because of the joker and let's not get started on the "joker has a point" thing like yeah he's this cool complex villain but he's absolutely batshit crazy

like yes! i get what you mean the joker just fucking sucks man he doesn't do shit for batman's character or the batfam he's literally just annoying as fuck. like the joker has a point' shit is so stupid. i will accept 'magneto was right' because he fucking was and i think he didn't do anything wrong, but joker? he's just like that. he's not even cool and complex he's just a weirdo with a bleach kink at this point.

ALSO YOUR RACISM POST- SO TRUE BESTIE

thanks bestie, i'm glad you agree.

in today's essay of why I think cass should become batman- I was thinking Tim would probably be the most efficient batman in many ways but I also think he wouldn't want to be batman tbh none of the batfamily members would want to be batman because they're trying to outgrow him but cass is the one who wants to represent the symbol that is batman

absofuckinglutely i will say it again and again that cass represents the batsymbol more than anyone in the batfam, in batgirl (2000) she literally didn't care about anything else than bruce's oath to not kill, she thought the batsymbol was more important than anything in gotham. she's just an excellent character because her motivation to not kill is not 'i'm scared i can't come back from it' or 'well my dad says no murder so i'll go along with it' but that she's killed somebody as a young child and she never wants to kill a human ever again and that's so fucking beautiful for a new batman like yes.

need more cass, duke and tim inclusion in gothamite memes

yes yes, a tall order of cass, duke and tim coming up in 1-14 business days

oldest to youngest batfam members cus I'm confused as shit

okay order of being taken in: dick, jason, tim, cass, damian, duke order of age: alfred, bruce, dick, cass, jason, tim, duke, damian (though cass and jason are around the same age general consensus is that cass is a little older)

I'm so confused Steph is a redhead?? like how was it that hard to get this right? the source material is literally right there and free

cw is jared, 19

do you receive anon hate? if so, how do you deal with it

uh no, i'm not remotely popular enough to get anon hate and i also don't say a lot of things that would attract anon hate, but i do send anon hate to @the-real-peter-parker because he forgot about the specialists from winx club

Wait how many languages do you speak??

uhh- 5 if you include latin, but that's a dead language and i'm really bad at it. but english, my native language, german, and french also, tho german and french not fluently.

You can mix aguaepanela with aguardiente 😈 and is tasty

okay but now i'm curious if the liquor deserves the 😈 emoji or if that's a you problem. but i googled it and it looks like something you'd take one sip of and then not remember the rest of your evening.

[lucky-katebishop]

8 Underrated Comedy Mysteries

So weird comedy tv shows are kind of my niche, and I realized I’ve seen a few comedy shows that revolve around mysteries and an intriguing plot line, so I wanted to make a list to share them in case you haven’t heard of them! Not all of them are mysteries, like Miracle Workers, but it does have a plot that puts you on edge and every episode does end with a cliffhanger, so I’m adding it!

1. Santa Clarita Diet

I’ve already talked about this show on one of my previous posts, but that’s because I love this show so much and is actually the one that inspired this post! Santa Clarita Diet is about a woman, Sheila, who mysteriously becomes undead, and her family who try to talk her out of her impulsivity to kill anyone she sees and get away with it. Her husband Joel tries to figure out how she became undead, how to stop it, while also trying to keep Shiela’s murders under wrap so they won’t be caught. The characters are adorable, the women are badasses and the men have the most respect for women, and the comedy is top notch. Every time I watch it, it blows my mind that all three seasons take place over the course of like two or four weeks because that’s how much shit they have to get through just to survive. It’s a tad gory, especially with the first episode (there’s a huge vomit scene but that’s easily skippable) but if you don’t mind blood and guts, this shouldn’t be an issue! It was cancelled with three seasons but I still say it’s well worth the watch!

2. People of Earth

People of Earth is about aliens! It centers around journalist Ozzie who is investigating reports of alien abductions and meets a support group of alien abductees all the while actual aliens are looking at them from above. This was also cancelled but it’s a great mystery show which always ends on a cliffhanger. What makes it even more intriguing for me is that the aliens are able to go undercover as human beings so they can make sure that their identities aren’t being figured out, so it’s a great comedic fish out of water sort of thing. You’ll fall in love with the rag-tag team of alien abductors and abductees as you unravel whether or not the people of earth find out about what’s been going on. The comedy is witty and smart and you’ll quickly find that you won’t be able to stop laughing and watching. 

3. Search Party

This show is a fantastic millennial play on Nancy Drew (kind of like if it were mixed with Girls) where the main character, Dory, finds out that an old friend of hers disappeared and she becomes obsessed with it, trying to string along clues in order to find her along with the help of her self-obsessed friends. It’s so much more than I expected it to be, and I promise you, don’t give up on this show. The first episode is a bit rough but once you get going, you’ll become even as obsessed as Dory to solve the mystery of Chantal’s disappearance. I didn’t end up watching the other seasons, as I found season one to be so good that I was afraid of ruining the show for me (I kind of saw it as a perfect limited series and I was too scared that would be ruined) but from what I read, it’s still going strong with four seasons!

4. Barry

Okay, so this one isn’t that underrated, I’m sure you’ve heard of it, but it’s still nonetheless a very good show and I had to add it. It’s about character Barry who is a hitman who, while on his way to finish off an assignment, finds himself in the middle of an acting class and falls in love with it. He finds that giving up his old habits isn’t as easy as he expected them to, and he finds the balance between living a normal civilian life and carrying out the duties of his mercenary job a difficult thing to do, especially considering Sallie, an incredible actress in his class that he finds himself falling for. It’s hilarious, it’s depressing, it’s magnificent, it’s everything you didn’t expect but love and I really recommend this show to everyone (especially those who also had that weird Bill Hader phase after IT: Chapter Two came out). The reason I’m putting it in this category is because there is a mystery every season of whether or not his acting friends are going to find out about his secret life, and it’s very interesting and it always has me on the edge of my seat. 

5. Dirk Gently’s Holistic Detective Agency

What more could you want besides Elijah Wood, corgis, cute British detectives, badass female characters, and a really cool murder investigation? Oh, and a punk band! It’s been a few years since I watched it, so my memory is a little hazy on the plot, but what I can remember it’s about Todd (played by Elijah Wood) who becomes the main person of interest for a murder which he didn’t commit. Todd meets Dirk Gently, a man who claims that everything is holistic (meaning that everything everywhere is fundamentally connected in ways that is up to the universe), who begs him to join his detective agency to figure out the murder, which strings them along a very weird and very connected case. It has two seasons but was sadly cancelled, but the two seasons are extraordinary and hilarious. 

6. Trial and Error

Trial and Error is about new defense lawyer, Josh, going to goofy and backwards town South Peck to defend Larry Henderson who is being accused of killing his wife. It’s a hilarious take on murder mysteries, and each episode brings with a new piece of evidence. It has a wonderful father/son bonding relationship between Josh and Larry, and a colorful cast of misfits and oddballs who are all trying (in the words of the show) to get Larry off. I couldn’t praise this show more because of the goofiness and satirical nature of the jokes, all the while being incredibly heartfelt. It has two seasons, with season two revolving around the defense for self titled “Lady Killer” Kristin Chenoweth’s Lavinia Peck. 

7. Miracle Workers

What more could you want besides Elijah Wood, corgi- oh wait, sorry, this is Daniel Radcliff, my bad. An anthology series, the first season deals with angels Craig and Eliza who try to convince Steven Buscemi’s God not to obliterate the earth with the help of his right hand man Sanjay Prince by answering a miracle: getting awkward dorks Sam and Laura together. They only have two weeks to answer this prayer, which is a lot harder to solve when everything is going against them, including extremely shy Sam and Laura. It’s hilarious, it’s witty, it has Daniel Radcliff, I mean this is an extremely amazing show! Season two has nothing to do with a mystery, and revolves around the same cast as different characters in the dark ages, but I still highly recommend that one as well because it’s just as funny. 

8. Russian Doll

Thursday. What a concept! (Yes, that’s what that gif is from and in context it’s highly hilarious) This show is about Nadia, a woman who keeps her feelings to herself and her opinions out in the open, on her 36th birthday, who finds herself reliving the same day over and over again. She tries to solve the mystery and how to get out of that ridiculous time loop when she meets Alvin, a man who is also in the same time loop. It’s a story about love, friendship and loss, and I cry like a baby every single time I watch it. It has some of the most incredible writing and the pacing is excellent. It’s four hours of pure genius but it does also deal with trauma and depression so please check out the warnings. It came out in 2019 and I’ve watched six times, that’s how much I love this show! 

That’s the end of my list, I hope you agree with the shows on here and give me some recommendations if I missed some of your favorite mystery comedies. :)

[south-park-meta]

do you have a description for Kyle's and Gerald's relationship?

just if it's not to much.

I started reading your analysis. I love them. I'm curious to know if you have any thoughts about their relationship.

Aw, thanks! I can try, I just relate to Stan a lot more so I'm probably going to miss some things.

Kyle and his dad seemed to have a fine relationship earlier on in the show. Kyle's key relationship is with his mom vs Stan's being with Randy, so there is less to go off of than with his relationship with Sheila. But I'd say earlier seasons of South Park had both of Kyle's parents supportive of him and willing to talk to him. Kyle in turn often turns to his parents for advice, and believes that going to adults for advice in general is the way to handle situations he can't. His parents encourage getting support through counseling/therapy like Stan's do. They make sure he stays connected to his religion even in a town that has little support. They do quite a bit to encourage him to be connected to people.

There's a few unhealthy components. The first is a family-wide issue that Kyle's guilt is just MASSIVELY higher than it should be. Guilt is a healthy response, but it's been taken to unhealthy levels and often leads to his martyrdom. This is something that's ingrained in both his religion in general and his family specifically.

The more Gerald-specific unhealthy component is that Gerald is self-centered, narcissistic, and materialistic. This can be seen even in the very beginnings of the show, like Chickenpox in S2:

Gerald You see, Kyle, we humans work as a society, and in order for a society to thrive, we need gods, and clods.

Kyle Gods and clods?

Gerald Yes. You see, I spent a lot of time going to law school, and I was able to go because I have a slightly higher intellect than others. But I still need people to pump my gas, and make my French fries, and fix my laundry machine when it breaks down.

Kyle Oooohh, I see. Gods and clods!

Gerald That's right. So Kenny's family is happy just the way they are, and we're all a functioning part of America.

I think marking himself as 'god' in this conversation really shows why Gerald and Kyle's relationship has been growing worse and worse and is now absolutely horrendous. Gerald sees himself as God. All important, especially in a little dinky town like South Park. He has a good image: He has money, he has a nice house, he has a wife, he has 2 kids. The American dream stereotype. All of these things he sees as an extension of himself, a projection of what he wants to be. He doesn't actually care about any of them the way he cares about himself.

He had a better relationship with Kyle earlier on because Kyle was a kid who took his opinion at face value more. Who was more likely to adopt Gerald's opinion as his own, even if they're shitty. 'Oooohh, I see! Gods and clods!' It's coming from his dad so it makes sense in ways it might strike Kyle as wrong coming from anyone else. Kyle is a fitting extension of himself when it counts.

But Kyle gets older. Kyle starts having his own opinion on things. Kyle starts seeing more things Gerald thinks is funny are wrong. Season twenty Kyle wouldn't accept 'Gods and Clods' the way season 2 Kyle does.

in Oh, Jeez, when Gerald facetimes Ike:

Gerald Hi Ike, it's Daddy. Everything OK there? [Ike look around] Listen, buddy, you remember how we talked about trolling and just between us guys we agreed it was pretty funny? [Kyle walks by Ike's room, hears Gerald's voice and stops to look inside] Well it turns out that even the-

Kyle Dad! [runs into Ike's room] Where are you?

Gerald Oh, hey Kyle.

Kyle Dad, what's going on? Mom is freaking out.

Gerald Tell your mom everything's fine, okay? I'm helping out the government. It's top-secret stuff, but everything's finally gonna be okay.

Kyle No, Dad, I need you back home. Please, I-I'm so confused right now.

Gerald Kyle, you've gotta lighten the fuck up, buddy. Every day with you it's "Dad, I feel guilty about this. Dad, I'm so confused about that." You're a kid. You're supposed to just laugh and make fun of shit. [smiles] Stop being such a pussy, okay pal? Fuck. [hangs up, leaving Kyle a bit stunned]

Ike Daddy called you a pussy.

Gerald's clearly annoyed with Kyle before Kyle even has a chance to talk to him. All Kyle really even says to him is 'I want you home, I need you', and Gerald tells him to fuck off. The kid Gerald WANTS to talk to is the baby, the one who's young enough he thinks he can still get on his side in finding trolling funny. Not the kid who's voicing his own opinions and doesn't even find Terrance and Philip farting in each other's faces funny anymore.

So, yeah. This relationship was only two ways when Gerald could get Kyle to parrot his own thoughts back to him. Now that Kyle's more and more his own person, he's a waste of time. Kyle still loves and wants his dad's attention and help, and Gerald couldn't care less about him. I maybe wouldn't say he despises Kyle or would never help him, but it's clear Kyle lost value to him the more Kyle's moral compass grew.

[juniorgman187]

The Bones (Reid Series) Part 2

Summary: After doing an even deeper dive on Valerie’s past, Spencer finally meets her, but his invasiveness isn’t the worst part ... the worst part is he might actually like her. 

Playlist: “The Bones” by Maren Morris & Hozier  (BONUS: song includes major foreshadowing) Category: Series, Fluff, Soft Angst, Eventual smut and *NSFW content Pairing: Spencer Reid POV x Fem!OC - Valerie Content Warning: invasion of privacy, allusions to Maeve’s death, arrhythmia Word Count: 3.4k

Part 1 |

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* 

After firmly deciding not to weave Penelope into my tangled web, I was met with the arduous burden of conducting my own research. 

Firstly, I would need a computer - yeah ... a computer. That’s how far I was willing to go for this pursuit. I once vowed never to fall victim to modern technology’s clutches, and yet here I was, doing my research on a public library’s computer. To my credit, I hadn’t gone out and bought one, I was merely using my resources.

With the need for a device out of the way, all that was left was the knowledge of what to look for. But that didn’t pose a problem either.

Funny enough, with as many rules and restrictions as there are regarding patient privacy and confidentiality, all it took was matching dates of news stories with hospital records to complete my research. I was fairly certain I was only scratching the surface of information about Valerie as opposed to the sea of things I could’ve uncovered if I asked for Garcia’s help, but there are only so many lines a person can cross in one week. 

This was my limit.

Call me naive, but I was actually quite surprised with just how expansive the internet is. To an almost relentless degree, I would open an article and it would lead me to ten more about the same topic. It was this never ending rabbit hole that seemed to spiral on forever. I kept digging deeper and deeper until I could no longer dig. 

I’d officially hit rock bottom. 

It took me a grand total of just two hours to unearth all the ‘dirt’ I could on a young Valerie Bishop. 

Local 16-year-old Wins Nevada’s Statewide Art Contest! Published by Henderson Press. 

Valerie, just a sophomore in high school at the time, was donning what any experimental teen girl would’ve worn in the early 2000s - bootcut jeans and a sequin blouse over top of a plain camisole. And if I zoomed in close enough, I could spot the evidence of a sparkly blue shadow coating her eyelids. Surprisingly, though, that wasn’t the first thing I noticed. 

It was that smile. That tooth-achingly sweet smile. 

Though I never got the chance to see Maeve truly smile, that’s what I imagined it would look like. 

The photographer must’ve caught her midway through a laugh, at least that’s what the image of her slightly open-mouthed grin told me. Meanwhile, her two tiny hands were clenching her overbearingly large trophy while her artwork stood behind her as the background.

It didn’t take me long to figure out why her painting won. Simply put, there was no need to see anyone else’s art to know that they couldn’t possibly compete with hers. 

Hers was an abstract rendition of what I believe to be a forest of some sort. The detail is what I was most drawn to. It would’ve been unbelievable on its own but the fact that she was 16 when she painted it? That’s what was unbelievable to me. 

If that’s how talented she was at that age, I could only imagine how much more talented she became with time. However, I lost the chance to investigate the current state of her skill before a related article from The Cleveland Gazette about Valerie succeeded this one. 

From Award-Winning Artist to Henderson’s Hero

Read my interview with 17-year-old Valerie Bishop to find out more about her struggle with arrhythmia and how she turned her pain into a project! 

By Kelli Gallagher from the Cleveland Gazette. 

Gallagher: Thank you so much for letting me interview you, Valerie. 

Bishop: Of course! I’m happy to. 

Gallagher: You’ve become somewhat of a hero in Henderson, Nevada, haven’t you?

Bishop: I wouldn’t call myself a hero ... but if everyone else wants to - I’m fine with that. (laughs)

Gallagher: Don’t be so modest! I mean, what you’ve done is so incredible, and you’re only what? Seventeen?

Bishop: Yes, ma’am. I just turned seventeen this past August. 

Gallagher: Wow, I can’t believe how young you are and yet you’ve already accomplished so much. I saw that you won a statewide art contest last year. Tell me more about that. 

Bishop: That’s a funny story actually. My Grandma Sheila was the one who entered me in that contest. I didn’t even know about it until I won it. She’s always surprising me, though. In fact, she’s the one that surprised me with my first ever art supplies, when I was about eight or so. They were these super expensive oil paints, and I knew she couldn’t afford them, so I told her we should return them and get something cheaper, but she said, “Nonsense. When the bones are good the rest don’t matter. A house don’t fall when the bones are good.” That was kind of her saying. 

A house don’t fall when the bones are good. 

The bones. 

Gallagher: I’m interested to know more about your relationship with your grandma. If I’m remembering correctly, she was also diagnosed with arrhythmia a while back too, right?

Bishop: Yes, she was, but that’s never slowed her down. And as for our relationship, my grandma and I have always been close, but arrhythmia, in a weird way, has brought us even closer. She has always been my biggest supporter and the fact that we’re both on this journey together makes her my biggest supporter even more so. 

Gallagher: Absolutely. Now, I also heard that you’ve started a fundraising program to possibly start a gallery and studio in Virginia Beach. If you don’t mind me asking, why Virginia Beach? Is there any special significance? 

Bishop: Actually, that’s where my grandma met my grandpa, and they got married and started a family there, too. So if Grandma Sheila hadn’t been there to meet him, she wouldn’t have had my mom, and that would mean I wouldn’t have been here either. I like to think Virginia Beach is where it all started. In a way, it’s where my bones are. That solid foundation in Virginia gave me everything I have today.

Gallagher: That is just incredible. I’m so glad to see your fundraising project is thriving, but I can’t imagine any of this has been particularly easy for you. You were diagnosed right around the time your senior year was starting right?

Bishop: Yes ma’am. 

Gallagher: So what brought you from Henderson to Cleveland?

Bishop: Well, actually, I didn’t want to move, especially not before I graduated, but Cleveland has the best cardiovascular hospital in the country and my health is far more important than graduating in the same state I grew up in. So when my parents were willing to move me and my sister out here, I saw it as a privilege rather than something to be sad about. 

Gallagher: I am so inspired by you, Valerie.

Bishop: (laughs) Really, why?

Gallagher: Despite everything that’d been thrown at you, you are still so grateful. I hope you never lose that. 

Bishop: I promise you I won’t.

Gallagher: So one last thing before I go, what is one hope you have for your future self?

Bishop: I hope, future self, that your ‘bones’ are still strong.

Gallagher: Beautiful. Thank you so much again for doing this, Valerie. I sincerely hope you reach your goal and you get to open up that gallery and studio in Virginia Beach. 

At the bottom of the article, there was a footnote from Kelli Gallagher. 

Exactly 10 years later, Bishop was able to move to Virginia Beach and open up her gallery and studio. 

By the end of the article, I felt a genuine sense of pride for Valerie, and I know I had virtually no right to know these things about her, but I could still be proud of her for them right?

I would never fully get my answer to this question before I crossed the final boundary. 

After exhausting all that I could gather from the internet without Penelope’s assistance, the only thing left for me to do was actually meet her in person. However, this would prove to be a bigger obstacle that it seemed. I decided to delay the daunting task until the next day. A decision partially influenced by the phrase, ‘sleep on it.’ I prayed I’d gain clarity on what to do when I woke up the next morning, but even with a night’s rest, I was still undecided as I drove to Virginia Beach once more.

To sit in my car that was conveniently parked right in front of the gallery was a poor choice. Because with every passing second, the temptation to walk in grew, but the fear of regret dampened those impulses. The more I thought about it, the more I psyched myself out. Between my two choices, to freeze or to fight, I should’ve taken the third - to flee. But I was here now and I couldn’t leave empty-handed for a second time. 

After a moment’s indecision, adrenaline coursed through my veins to give me the courage to get out of my car. When I felt an outdoor breeze blow over me, I knew there was no going back now. Right when I walked in, the little bell above the door rang, solidifying that I was officially crossing the threshold, and whether I liked it or not, she was going to see me after hearing me walk in.

“I’ll be right with you!” A small voice called out from somewhere in the back. She was hidden from my immediate sight, and somehow that made it so much worse. It was now I that was waiting for her, instead of her unknowingly waiting for me. 

As though I were prey getting ready to escape a predator, I stayed put by the door. It gave me a full view of the entire place anyway. 

Scoping out my surroundings, I spotted the paintings that were carefully measured and placed on the walls, almost to perfection. I had no time to notice anything more before the person in the back walked out. 

Immediately when I saw her, I knew.

“You’re … not Valerie.” I couldn’t help sounding so disappointed but luckily, the woman that came out took no offense to my observation. 

“No, I’m not,” She laughed. “But I can get her for you-”

“No wait!” I uselessly leapt forward to stop her from saying, “Vee! There’s someone out here to see you!” But that’s precisely what she did anyway. Evidently oblivious of my previous protests, she politely smiled back at me. “She’ll be right out.” 

For the second time that day, I waited with bated breath, anxiously anticipating the arrival of Valerie. And I was almost too focused on subduing the pounding of my heart to realize that she was actually walking out of the back right now. 

“Hi, sorry about that!” A new voice chirped. 

Valerie. 

The moment I laid eyes on her, it became clear to me that the pictures in her files hardly did her justice. Nothing could compare to the real sight of her. I was only able to catch the profile of her face when I saw her in the cafe, but in her entirety, I began to wax nostalgic. Though her face and hair and body had transformed into that of a grown woman’s features, I could still identify the same tooth-achingly sweet smile that a younger Valerie once wore on the front page of the Henderson Press. She was no beast to conquer, she was just a girl, smiling at me in that same gentle way. 

Her expression just as well showed no indication of recognition, not that she would recognize me, considering my letter was anonymous and unless she pulled the same stunt I did, she wouldn’t ever recognize who I was. 

“I’m Val,” She made her greeting to me while untying her dirtied waist apron, and it was merely the action that caused my gaze to fall to her hips, but when she shed the apron, I was still staring. There was something sort of mesmerizing about the way they swayed as she approached. It wasn’t until they stopped swaying completely that I realized they did so because there was no more distance to advance - she was already right there in front of me, patiently watching me stare. 

“Val?” I blinked hard to revert my gaze while also playing into the part that I had no idea who she was. 

“Mhm. Short for Valerie,” She confirmed happily. “Like the Amy Winehouse song.” 

This time, I genuinely didn’t know what she was referring to, and my confused countenance prompted her to clarify, “You don’t know that song?” 

Then, seemingly out of nowhere, she began to playfully sing, “Well, sometimes I go out by myself and I look across the water ...” 

While she watched my face and waited for the recitation of the song to jog my memory, I was just as much studying her face. I could tell she was only kidding when she sang, evidenced by the laugh that followed her rendition, but it sounded so unironically good that I had to question what other talents she possessed. 

“Um, I was actually thinking more like Valerie, the martyred medieval saint, whose name stood for strength and health.” No sooner than the words spilled from my mouth did I recognize the freudian slip - the simultaneous coincidence and confession. The coincidence was that, now, with Maeve’s heart beating in her chest, she lived up to her name - she was newly strong and healthy. But I worried, she would see the correlation I drew between her name and her successful transplant and would realize that I knew more about her than I let on. Did I just give away too much?

“Sorry, I didn’t catch your name earlier. What was it?” Her casual dismissiveness of my previous statement did nothing to ease my worries. Was she beginning to piece everything together?

“Oh, right!” I said dumbly. “S-Spencer. I’m Spencer.” I was such a blubbering bundle of nerves that I actually reached out to shake her hand - a stranger’s hand. 

“Nice to meet you, Spencer,” She softly laughed, which was hopefully not out of the enjoyment of seeing me squirm. “What can I do for you?” 

A loaded question, don’t you think? What can you do for me, Valerie? Well, for one thing, you could’ve answered my letter, but to say something as bold as that would require me to admit the real reason I was here, and how could I do that without mentioning how I found you in the first place?

“Um ...” Whose birthday is the soonest? “My friend Emily’s birthday is coming up and I was wondering if I could possibly buy a painting from you as a birthday present.” 

There was the faintest perceptible skepticism in her expression, but that could’ve just been my paranoia talking because in the next breath, she didn’t suggest a proclivity to my deceit. “Yeah, of course! Do you know what her favorite medium is? Or her favorite artist? Or her favorite style of art?” 

For every addition to the question, I wordlessly shook my head no. Was my lie already unraveling? Could she see right through me?

“No worries. If you want, you can walk around the gallery and tell me if you see anything you think she’d like.” She made her offer to me sweetly, then disappeared into the back room again. I tried to follow her with my eyes for as long as I could, but from where I was standing, I couldn’t see very far into it. I wandered a little further into the center of the gallery to possibly catch a glimpse of what was occupying her time back there, but when I heard the chattering of two voices, Valerie and the other woman, coming from the same general direction, I realized I was completely alone in this part of the studio.

With no one around to bear witness but these portraits, I could’ve easily slipped out and made my escape, and I might’ve even done it had it not been for the unmistakable gravitational pull forcing me to stay here and walk about the room. 

Making my way throughout the gallery, I would pause every now and then when a painting would stand out to me, which was often, considering each picture was impressive. 

But there was one painting in particular that piqued my interest. It made me feel something I’d never felt before. 

It wasn’t special by any means. By rights, I shouldn’t have even noticed it, for it wasn’t the largest painting, nor the smallest one - it wasn’t even the most average painting. But it felt exceptionally ... Valerie. I had no doubt in my mind that she painted this one - in fact, I had a good bet that she painted most of these portraits, if not all of them - but this one. There was just something about it that I couldn’t put my finger on. 

“So,” A draft was created from where Valerie swiftly and unexpectedly joined me at my side. “What do you think?” 

“Um, there’s definitely something,” I struggled to find the word. “appealing about this one.” Almost as soon as the word came out of my mouth, I knew it was only a matter of time before she called out the inadequacy of my answer. 

“Appealing?” She repeated in mockery. “That’s the best you got? Come on, you’ve been standing here for like ten minutes. There must be something about it you like.” 

“I’m not sure.” I honestly admitted with a shrug.

“There’s no wrong answer.” She assured me, but I found that hard to believe. 

“So if I said I see a grizzly bear attacking a UFO, that wouldn’t be wrong?”

“Nope,” She popped the p. “If that’s how you interpret it then that’s how you interpret it. Just because someone else sees it differently, doesn’t mean you’re wrong.” It would’ve sounded like complete bullshit or nauseatingly cheesy coming out of someone else’s mouth, but her delivery felt so genuine. It actually moved me. 

As she said this, she turned her head in my direction to look up at me, causing her shoulder to brush my upper arm, sending a wave of goosebumps all over my body. 

She was so close. 

But I was so unbothered by her proximity that I didn’t even notice exactly how close she really was. If someone else had invaded my personal space like that, I would’ve moved in the opposite direction just on instinct, but I didn’t even think to do that with Valerie. I was so comfortable with her being there. 

But was that just because a part of her was once Maeve’s? Was the entire foundation of my likening to Valerie built upon that single attribute?

Was that my bones?

“Um,” I began fidgeting with my hands to self-soothe. “I like it. I don’t know why. But I like it. How’s that for an answer?”

There was a pause before her response that compelled me to look at her, but when I did so, she was already looking at me. “I’ll take it,” She nodded. “It’s the biggest compliment to me if my art can make you feel something.”

Was it the art that made me feel something ... or you?

“I’ll tell you what,” She walked over to grab something from the front desk. She came back with a small piece of cardstock. “I’m going to an art exhibition next weekend. Why don’t you come with me and see if you can’t find something for Emily there?”

She handed me the paper, which was actually her business card. “You don’t have to have an answer for me today, but call me when you do.” She seemed to think that was the end of the conversation, but I still had more questions. 

“You’re inviting me?” was the first question that came to mind, albeit the dumbest one.

“Yeah, you can be my plus one.”

I gulped to dislodge the lump in my throat. “Like-like your date?” 

She furrowed her brows with mild confusion. “Um ... sure, if that’s what you wanna call it,” which was the last thing she said to me before vanishing within the back room again. 

I peered back down at the card and tapped it gently on the palm on my hand as though to register its presence really being there. 

For all intents and purposes, this card was meaningless. But to me, it was the formal consenting - nay, invitation - to reach out to her again. She was willingly extending this line of contact to me. 

No more public library computers. No more files. No more ‘research.’ Just her number - a way to reach her without veering off my moral compass. 

Despite this, I still had no clue whether or not I was going to accept her offer.

All that I did know was that I wanted to see her again. 

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* 

PART 3 COMING SOON!

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[carolina-bleus]

~Something You Read: From Rick to Michonne~

“I cannot believe he actually logged into class this morning from his bed! I think he’d just woken up like five minutes before. He could barely hold his eyes open and had bed hair and everything. Who even does that?” Michonne scoffed.

Rick chuckled. “That sounds exactly like something Shane would do.”

“Mr. Horvath even had to tell him to put on a shirt...which got a lot of grumbling from some of the girls.”

“You included?”

Rick outright laughed at the look of disgust Michonne shot him through his phone’s screen.

“Richard Sutton Grimes, I am offended! You know I have better taste than that. No offense to Shane, but it would have to be the end of the world and we’d have to be the last hope for continuation of the human race before I’d even consider him anything other than a smug nuisance.”

“Ouch! So I’ll take that as a no.”

“Take that as a hell no!”

“Michonne Colette Richardson with the potty mouth! I’m gonna tell your mama and daddy.”

“What’s the worst that could happen? I get grounded and confined to the house and not allowed to go out with my friends? Too late, Miss Rona already beat them to that,” Michonne replied glumly.

“Yeah, it sucks. I can’t believe this is how we’re spending our senior year of high school. I thought everything would be back to normal by now.”

“I don’t even know what normal is anymore.  I certainly hope this isn’t our new normal...going to school online, not being able to hang out and only seeing each other “face to face” through a screen in class or during phone calls.”

“I never thought I’d say this...and if you tell my mama, I’ll deny it...but I actually miss school. Not the work,” Rick quickly added. “I miss interacting with everybody, even Eugene and his mullet.”

“Really, Rick? Of all the classmates you could name, you pick Eugene...and his mullet...and not me?”

“You know you’re not just my classmate. You’re my best friend, Michonne. Of course I miss you.”

More than you even know, Rick thought.

“I miss you, too. The two of us haven’t been in the same space in what feels like forever and I’m over it. We don’t even get to go the mountains for Christmas this year,” Michonne lamented.

The Grimes and Richardson families were extremely close. The teens’ parents grew up together in King County and had been close long before Rick and Michonne were born. The families had been planning to spend Christmas break in a vacation home rented out for the holidays. But, now instead of a big Christmas celebration in the mountains, the families were doing as they had for Thanksgiving and keeping their celebrations small and confined to immediate family. Gift giving was even different this year.

The families decided to keep it simple and follow a modified version of the five-gift rule. Each household pulled the name of someone from the other household. The gift recipient told the gift giver what category they wanted their gift to represent. Luckily, Rick and Michonne pulled each other’s names. But even if they hadn’t, they would have managed to get a gift for each other a gift anyway. Michonne wanted “something you read” and Rick asked for “something you want.” Michonne’s gift was already wrapped and ready on Rick’s nightstand.

The canceled vacation and altered holiday routines were just another reminder of how different things were this year. Rick and Michonne had been inseparable since they were babies. They’d seen each other just about every day before pandemic brought their in-person interactions to a halt. The physical separation was something neither teen had really gotten used to even after so many months.

Michonne sighed. “You think it will be like this when we get older if everything does go back to normal and we can get on with our lives?”

“What do you mean?” Rick asked.

“We’re about to go off to college in some form or another and start the next phase of our lives. Do you think this is what it will be like...never seeing each other except through calls or whenever there is a holiday?”

“You think we’re going to grow apart?” Rick asked with a tilt of his head.

Michonne shrugged. “I don’t know. I hope not. But I never thought I’d live through a pandemic either. Life’s funny that way.”

“I know you want to explore the world and go to all these exciting places during and after college. But what about later? Do you think you’ll come back home? To your family?”

To me?

Rick had been in love with his best friend for as long as he could remember. He’d never quite found the words to tell her. He thought maybe he’d ask her to prom and do it then but prom most likely wasn’t going to happen this year. Rick worried if he’d even get the chance to hug Michonne again before they went off to different colleges next fall.

“You mean come back home to live?”

Rick nodded. “Yeah.”

“Is that what you’re going to do...come back home after college?”

“That’s been the plan.”

“Have you ever thought about living somewhere else?”

“Not really...but I guess I would for the right reason.”

And the right person.

“What reason would that be?”

You.

Rick shrugged. “I guess I’ll know when I know.”

Michonne looked away briefly before clearing her throat. “Oh...well, we don’t have to worry about that for a little while longer, anyway.  Soon it will be Christmas break. And then it will be New Year’s Eve and we can put this hellish year behind us and start looking forward to the future...wherever that takes us.”

“Michonne, I---

A knock sounded on Rick’s door.  It opened and his mom stood in the doorway.

“Honey, I know it’s distance learning but you still need to get some rest for tomorrow. Michonne, you do as well,” Mrs. Grimes added, knowing without question who Rick was talking to this late.

“Yes ma’am,” the teens replied in unison.

“Alright. Goodnight you two. Love you both.”

“Goodnight, Mama.”

“Goodnight, Auntie Suzanne.”

Once his mother closed the door behind her, Rick turned back to the screen.

“Rick, what were you about to say before?”

“Oh...umm...just that I hope you like the Christmas gift I got you.”

“You always pick out the best gifts, so I’m not worried. Well, I guess we better head to bed. Talk to you in the morning before classes?”

“Of course. Goodnight, Michonne.”

“Goodnight, Rick.”

The best friends ended their call and Rick slouched down with a sigh. He had been about to confess his feelings to Michonne right then and there. Her conversation about them growing apart scared him. He didn’t want to lose her.

But what if telling her how I feel pushes her away?

Needing to get his feelings off his chest somehow, Rick tore a piece of paper from his notebook, grabbed a pen and began to write.

Dear Michonne,

You’ve been my best friend since before we could talk and I hope you remain so even after I tell you what’s in my heart. Michonne, I love you...I’m in love with you. Whew! It feels good to FINALLY say that. I’ve loved you since...well, honestly, I can’t think of a time when I didn’t love you in some way.  Every moment that’s meant something in my life has had you in it...holding my hand when I was scared on our very first day of school, when you helped me study for and win the spelling bee in third grade, when we took down the school bully, Phillip, on the playground in fifth grade, being each other’s first kiss in sixth grade and each other’s date for our first high school dance, sitting and crying with me when my grandpa died from the virus, stressing about applying to college early decision and celebrating together when we both got into our dream schools. The serious moments, the fun moments and everything in between...you’ve been there.  And somewhere along the way, my love for you grew beyond friendship.

I can be my whole self with you because you bring out the best of who I am and you inspire me to want to be even better.  You’re the one person I can tell anything and everything to without hesitation. You’re the only person I want to tell everything to. So, you’re probably wondering why I never told you how I feel. Well, I haven’t told you for the same reason your question about us drifting apart scared me...I don’t want to lose you. I can’t imagine...I don’t want to imagine...us not being in each other’s lives. I didn’t want to risk pushing you away or making you feel weird. I still don’t want that. But this year has taught me more than ever that life is short, time is precious and you have to let the people in your lives always know how you truly feel about them while you can.

Whatever you feel for me, please know that your happiness and our friendship are the most important things to me. And I want us to always remain friends, and in each other’s lives, whether or not we ever become a couple. I know we’ll be walking different paths for the next few years, but I hope those paths always lead us back to each other.

This is my first love confession I’ve ever written so I’m not really sure how to end it. I guess, thank you for reading it.

Love always,

Rick

P.S.- If you don’t feel the same way, you don’t have to say anything. We can just pretend this never happened.

Finished, Rick neatly folded the paper in half, wrote Michonne’s name on the front, and placed it on his nightstand beside Michonne’s gift.

Now the question remains if I’ll ever give it to her.

*****

Before Rick knew it, there was only one more week until school let out for the holiday break. He’d decided to have a change of scenery and attended school in his dad’s study today. Returning to his room, Rick plopped down on his bed and reached for his phone that he’d left on the nightstand. To his horror, the phone was there, but Michonne’s gift...and more importantly, Michonne’s note...were both gone.

“MAMA!”

“What?! Why are you yelling?”

“Mama, where’s Michonne’s gift?”

“Your Aunt Sheila and I did our socially distanced gift exchange this afternoon. I dropped their gifts off on their porch and ours were waiting there in a box. I already put them under the tree.”

“So you got Michonne’s gift from me off of my table?”

“Yes.”

“What happened to the piece of paper that was there as well?”

“Well, it had Michonne’s name on it, so I put it in a nice envelope...since you neglected to do so...and added it to her present.”

“Oh, Mama, you didn’t,” Rick groaned.

“Yes, I did. It was beside Michonne’s gift. It had her name on it. It was meant for her right?”

“Yes, ma’am. It was.”

“So why are you looking like I just destroyed your world?”

Because you may just accidentally have.

“Uh...it’s nothing,” Rick hedged. “I uh...I just wanted to exchange gifts in person.”

Mrs. Grimes nodded sympathetically.

“I know sweetie. We all wanted to do that this year, but we have to take the necessary precautions to keep everyone safe.”

Unfortunately, my heart might have just become collateral damage.

The morning after he wrote it, Rick had decided not to give Michonne the letter. He still felt the same way, but he just couldn’t run the risk of his confession altering their friendship in a negative way. However, now all he could do was wait and hope Michonne didn’t take an early peek at her gifts like she used to do when they were kids.

Rick looked at the date on his phone...December 10...fifteen days until Michonne opened the letter. He smiled wistfully at his lock screen.  It was picture of him and Michonne that she forced him to take on the last day they saw each other before their world got turned on its head. They were lounging in the hammock in his family’s backyard just talking about their hopes for senior year and beyond. It had been a perfect afternoon. He’d almost told her how he felt then but backed out at the last minute. Now the decision to tell had been taken out of his hands.

Man, I hope I didn’t make the biggest mistake of my life.

 *****

As the days to Christmas dwindled down, Rick didn’t notice a change in Michonne or their interactions. They still spoke every morning and every night and she acted the same as always. Rick didn’t know if that meant she hadn’t yet read the letter or that she had and was just not saying anything because didn’t have any romantic feelings for him.

Rick had tried to bribe Michonne’s younger brother, Noah, to find and destroy the letter. But that ended in utter failure. Noah couldn’t find the letter and he got yelled at by Michonne for snooping around her room. But Noah was true to his word (and the fifty dollars Rick sent to his cash app) and never implicated Rick in the plot.

~Christmas Eve~

Rick’s nerves were shot.

One more day until I know if I need to ask to go live with Granny Grimes down in Florida to finish out senior year.

Rick hadn’t spoken to Michonne at all today, which was a rarity.

Maybe she’s avoiding me.

Rick trudged glumly down the stairs so lost in thought that the sudden ringing of the doorbell scared him.

“Did y’all order food?” Rick called out to his family.

“No! It might be a package though,” his father yelled back.

Assuming the delivery person left the package on the porch, Rick pulled open the door without hesitation. He nearly fell over when he saw who was waiting.

“Michonne?! What are you doing here?” Rick started to push open the storm door, but caught himself. “Wait, a second.”

Rick grabbed his mask off the hallway table and put it on before stepping outside. The teens stood on opposite ends of the porch.

Michonne offered a small wave. “Hey, Rick. I came over because I wanted to see you.”

“Why? It must be important if you came in person.”

Oh, man. Is she going to break my heart in person?

“I promise to explain. But, first, I need you to answer some questions.”

“Questions? Why?”

“You’ll see.” Michonne pulled out her phone and unlocked it. “Okay, have you experienced any of the following recently...fever, cough, or headaches?”

“No.”

“Good. Fatigue...muscle or body aches...loss of taste or smell?”

“No.”

“Sore throat...nausea...diarrhea?”

“Michonne!”

“Rick, just answer the question.”

“No.”

“Has anyone in your family experienced those symptoms recently?”

Rick shook his head. “No.”

“Where have you been in the past fourteen days?”

“I’ve been home.” Stressing out over a letter.

“You haven’t gone anywhere outside? Not even to the grocery store?”

“Other than the porch or backyard, I’ve been in the house.”

“Good. I’ve haven’t gone anywhere for the past fourteen days either. I’ve been in the house and avoiding anyone who doesn’t live in my house...basically a self-imposed quarantine.”

“Why?”

“So I could do this.”

Michonne removed her mask and walked over to Rick.  She reached up and removed his mask, smiling at the question in his eyes before leaning forward and placing a soft kiss on his lips. After a moment of shocked delay, Rick quickly responded by wrapping his arms around Michonne and deepening the kiss.

Needing a breath and a moment to process it all, the couple slowly broke off their kiss and stared at each other with twin smiles on their faces.

“I take it you read the letter?” Rick asked.

Michonne nodded. “Exactly fourteen days ago.”

“You read it the first night?! Why didn’t you say anything?”

“I’ve never had anyone confess their love for me before...at least not outside of a daydream. I needed time some time to deal.”

“And do you feel the same way?”

“Rick, I quarantined for fourteen days just so I could kiss you. What do you think that means?”

“Maybe I just want to hear you say it.”

Michonne rolled her eyes but couldn’t keep the smile off of her face.

“I love you, too, Rick.”

“Romantically?”

“Yeah.”

“For how long?”

“For as long as I can remember.”

“Why didn’t you ever say anything?”

Michonne shrugged. “It’s the same reason you didn’t. I was scared and I didn’t want to lose you in case you didn’t feel the same way.”

“But we both feel the same way. So...we’re a couple?”

“Almost. There is something you have to say first.”

“What?” Then it dawned on Rick and he flushed, suddenly shy. “I wrote it in the letter.”

“Maybe I just want to hear you say it.”

Rick chuckled at his words being thrown back at him, before he turned serious.

“I love you, Michonne.”

Michonne’s face lit up with a smile that took Rick’s breath away.

“Now, we’re a couple,” she declared.

Rick took Michonne’s hand and led her over to the porch swing.  The couple drew close under the blanket Rick’s mom kept there for the chilly winter nights.

“Guess I won’t have to open any gifts tomorrow.”

“What do you mean?” Michonne questioned.

“Christmas came early. I have everything I want now.”

Michonne smiled and pulled Rick into a hug.  When they separated, a sudden question occurred to Rick.

“Hey, did you open my actual gift I got you to read?” Rick asked.

“Not yet, I was waiting until tomorrow. I only opened the letter because I thought it was a card. I’m glad I didn’t wait though because that letter was truly the best thing I’ve read in my entire life.”

Rick blushed happily at Michonne’s words. 

“Well, maybe you’ll read something even better one day.”

“Like what?”

“Our wedding vows.”

Michonne’s eyes widened before she smiled sweetly, “Yeah, maybe one day.”

The couple shared another kiss before they cuddled against each other and slowly rocked in the swing, enjoying the Christmas lights shining across the neighborhood.

@richonnefics

[issykiwi]

My first ever bechloe fanfic! (pls be kind lol)

Prompt: Both like reading the same book over and over from the college library and start leaving each other notes in it as they both take it out every couple days, then finally one of them leaves their number in the book...

Chapter 1! (im gonna keep writing even if no one likes this lol)

It was only 2 weeks into the semester and already Beca knew that she hated college. From the stupid classes her dad had enrolled her in, to the fact that her only friend there was her roommate, Kimmy Jin- and they weren’t even really friends. The second Beca had moved into her dorm and Kimmy Jin had given her that look of disgust she knew this year was going to drag. The only thing that kept her going was the promise her dad had made: that, if she completed a year of college, he would pay for her to move to LA and support her in trying to live out her dream of becoming a big time producer.

So here she sat now, creating tracks on her little set up. As she scrolled through her music library, searching for inspiration, she noticed a particular song. One that seemed extremely out of place compared to the songs surrounding it. The song was “A Narnia Lullaby”, from the movie, The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe. To others this song would’ve seemed an odd choice for someone like Beca to even have in their library, let alone for her to actually like the song. But it reminded her of childhood innocence, hope, and her mom.

Growing up, Beca and her mom read The Chronicles of Narnia together as bedtime stories over and over as they both loved all the books. In 2005 when Beca was eleven, a movie adaptation of the first book came out and they were obsessed, they watched it so many times they could both easily recite the film from memory. Narnia was Beca and her mom’s special thing. However, within a year of the movie coming out, Beca’s mom got suddenly and extremely unwell and passed away just before Beca’s twelfth birthday. Ever since then, Beca couldn’t read or watch the Narnia series. She didn’t even listen to “A Narnia Lullaby”, it was just in her library because she needed the comfort of knowing that it was there; that a small piece of her mom was with her when she needed.

Whilst looking at the song though, she felt the urge to listen to it, to feel like her mom was there with her again, just for a second. So, she did. One minute and thirteen seconds later as the music came to an end, she had tears streaming down her face and an aching in her chest. She still missed her mom so much. She knows her mom would’ve supported her career choice, unlike her dad and awful stepmom. She couldn’t believe it when her dad got remarried to this Sheila woman just a year and a half after her mom died, she isn’t even a nice woman! From the second her dad introduced Sheila into her life she felt like shed lost both her parents and all her support. Sheila managed to change her dad completely. Prior to her, he was outgoing, funny and cared about Beca more than anything in the world; but now, all he cared about was making Sheila happy and trying to make Beca as invisible for the woman as possible. Beca had had been thoroughly miserable the past five years.

Whilst musing over all of this, her laptop suddenly pinged and a little notification came up on her screen saying she had received an email. She clicked on the notification and saw it was from the college library. Skimming over it, she gathered that it was just about the fact that they had recently had a range of new books added to the library as it had been extended during summer vacation. She clicked away and went back to her music library, immediately faced again with that song. An idea popped into her head: what if she went down to the library and took out the first Narnia book to read? Just as a celebration of finally moving out of her dad’s house and hopefully being able to live her life how she wants again. Her mom would’ve liked her to not just forget about something that connected them so much. Right? Right. She stood up out of her chair and grabbed her keys, determined to go and get this book.

 As she walked into the library she headed straight for the fantasy books by authors with surnames beginning with L, ignoring everyone around her on her way. There it was the familiar cover facing outwards as it was one of the suggested and displayed books on the shelf. She picked it up and immediately opened the book to the first page, where she noticed something odd. Someone had written in it? Was that even allowed in library books? In the top left corner of the page in beautiful cursive writing was “Don't run from who you are. Love, CB” Beca immediately recognised this as an Aslan quote and felt that same feeling of comfort that the books had originally given her when she was younger; when she had felt different to the other girls at school as they all ran about chasing boys and gossiping whilst she sat alone reading a different book each day, escaping from reality and into a world where she could just be. A world where typical societal rules and expectations didn’t exist, where she could imagine living out her life with a beautiful girlfriend like Susan Pevensie, Hermione Granger or Violet Baudelaire.

Whoever CB was that had left this note would not know the importance of this single quote to her and this finalised it for her. She was going to read the book and she wasn’t going to read it in a sad way, missing her mom the entire time, but she was going to read it with hope for the future she had always dreamed of.

[365days365movies]

May 9, 2021: A.I. Artificial Intelligence (2001) (Recap: Part One)

Welcome to the future.

At this point, we’ve mostly looked at the past, present, or the near-future (as in, the next ten years, if that). Additionally, we’ve looked either at nonexistent technology in a contemporary setting, or an extension of existing technology taken to a logical next step. But no more. No more realism, no more real-world rules, and nothing that we’re even close to in this reality.

Well...mostly.

That’s genuinely impressive, not gonna lie. Anyway, yeah, from here forwards (for a bit), we’ll be looking at the future and futuristic technology. Now, there are a couple of ways in which these films tend to go. The first big way that we tend to represent the future in film is the same way we always have: flying cars, futuristic technology, smart houses, and robots.

Now, there are countless examples of this future, and it always changes a bit depending on the present. Which, yeah, makes sense. After all, what I’m doing right now, at this moment, would’ve been seen by many people as a massive technological achievement, even around the time that I was born. Which, yes, I’m old, deal with it (because I can’t). Anyway, the way that this begins is with the first major filmed view of a seemingly idyllic future: Fritz Lang’s 1927 film Metropolis.

The overly mechanized (and politically dystopic) society seen in this film, as well as the visuals and technology, would inform our ideas of the future throughout the next century. Multiple themes and common objects reoccur throughout futuristic fiction. You know the stuff I’m talking about. Flying cars, automatic food machines, robotic assistants, video watches, holograms, jetpacks, so on and so forth.

But here’s the thing about the future. It’s always ahead of us, and eventually...well, we’ve gotten to most of those things to some degree. Either they already exist...

...or is currently being developed.

Well, one of them we’re still working on. And the development of more advanced AI is something we have yet to perfect, or even fully develop. However, the development of A.I. (and the consequences of that technology) are ALL OVER science fiction. Sometimes, they’re merely used for flavor to help establish the futuristic setting.

Sometimes, they’re characters with their own agency and conflicts, which may or may not define the plot. In these cases, they’re often simply there to back up the main human characters, and help with their development, and sometimes their own. You know, manic pixie dream robots.

And then, possibly most often, they’re the abject villains of the piece. they can be mysterious alien technology, like in The Day the Earth Stood Still, or a man-made danger that turns on the race that created and/or abused it.

But then, on occasion, an A.I. is given the chance to develop as a character, without being used to define the development of a human character. Sometimes, the question of what life truly means is raised through these characters, and we become attached to them outside of any other character. This isn’t nearly as common as the others, but it’s definitely not unheard of.

And for the record...things don’t often go well for those AIs. But still, some of those characters have quite a lasting impact. So, there’s quite a lot of potential for this type of character, from a dramatic standpoint. And that potential leads us to the guy who made this.

I WILL MAKE A JURASSIC PARK REFERENCE AS OFTEN AS POSSIBLE

Steven Spielberg gives us today’s entry, and this director of a classic science fiction story about science gone awry teamed up with the director of a science fiction film where an artificial intelligence went awry. You know, this thing.

I didn’t forget about HAL. And I won’t forget about him later, either.

Director Stanley Kubrick is pretty well-know for his mind-bending films, especially The Shining and 2001: A Space Odyssey. But he also worked with Spielberg on this film before his death in 1999, as this was one of his dream projects for many years, and the two directors were well-known friends.

And so, eventually, Spielberg was given the reins from Kubrick, and results were...mixed. It’s funny, because I’ve never actually seen this movie, but I remember it through its surprisingly widespread ad campaign. I used to go to NYC as a kid a lot, and there was a massive building-side plastered with the iconic logo of this movie. So, I’ve been hovering around this movie for a long time. Enough navel-gazing!

SPOILERS AHEAD!!!

Recap (Part One)

It is, unsurprisingly, the future. A marrator informs us that climate change has caused the ice caps to melt, and global flooding drowns several countries. You could say that it’s a...Waterworld.

I genuinely considered watching that movie at some point, and then I decided I liked myself to much to watch 2 hours of Kevin Costner’s emotionless acting. Granted, it’s not much better now, listening to the emotionless acting of...

Professor Allen Hobby (William Hurt) is a straight-up sociopath. OK, technically, he’s a robotics engineer, but dude’s making a speech, right? He talks about how far robots have come, dissing my boi Deep Blue in the process, and notes that pain-memory response can also be demonstrated by robots. He proves this by stabbing a woman in his audience, like RIGHT through the hand. Jesus, man! Why the hell would you do that?

Oh. Holy shit, I got fooled. Advanced technology indeed. But OK, so Sheila’s a robot, and a very advanced one...to us. But Hobby wants more, and proposes to his workers to make a robot that can really TRULY love. And through love may come a true subconscious, which means making a robot that can dream. And what better robot to make than a robot child? After all, all child conception requires a license in this futuristic world, so many childless couples are yearning for a child.

Which is why, twenty months later, the first robot child is offered to Henry and Monica Swinton (Sam Robards and Frances O’Connor), a couple...with a child. Um. Guys. You JUST SAID that there are legit childless couples who need a child, and those people would be best suited to love that robot child back (a VERY GOOD question raised by one of Hobby’s subordinates). So why give it to a couple whose son is still alive? Yeah, he’s got a rare disease that they don’t have a cure for yet, and is currently in cryostasis, BUT THEY HAVE A KID! Surely, that’s going to be a potential emotional conflict! And what if the kid wakes up or some shit? This is a TERRIBLE goddamn idea. Think this shit through, guys.

And yet...

This is David (Haley Joel Osment), Cybertronics’ first child robot, brought home by Henry to essentially replace their son. Which is AMAZINGLY FUCKING TONE-DEAF AND INSANE, GODDAMN. That’s extraordinarily messed up. And, for the record, I totally get what Spielberg’s going for, but Jesus Christ, man. This was a terrible way to go about this. And it gets fucking WORSE.

See, Henry (who actually works for Cybertronics) tells Monica that, once they sign the papers and complete the updates, David will imprint on them and see him as their true parents, loving them unconditionally. Which...yeah, fuck, that’s an entire DUMP TRUCK of ethics issues right there. And, while we’re at it, David is...creepy as shit. I mean it, dude, Haley Joel Osment is a VERY good child actor, but he’s laying on the creepy robot child thing THICK. And yeah, this is BEFORE he imprints on them. Jesus fuck, man, there’s a scene where the still uncomfortable Monica is outside of a glass door, and he looks back at her THROUGH THE DOOR like a goddamn SERIAL KILLER.

And I gotta tell ya, dude does not lay off that creepy-ass dial one iota. And for that matter, the music by John Williams ISN’T FUCKING HELPING. LISTEN to this shit, and imagine a robot child that you don’t know wandering around your house. It’s amazingly fucking creepy.

AND IT JUST. KEEPS. GETTING. WORSE. There’s a scene where they’re all at dinner, right, and David’s just staring at them as they eat, mimicking their actions. After all, he’s a robot, he can’t actually eat or drink anything because of his internal working. And then, out of FUCKING NOWHERE, he starts laughing like the FUCKING JOKER, and it scares the EVER-LOVING SHIT OUT OF ME. And somehow, they laugh alongside him, in the never-ending Stockholm syndrome that is this movie! And as soon as its over, he just STOPS laughing, spontaneously. Fuck me, man, I’m tempted to stop watching here and now, and I’m only TWENTY MINUTES IN! I need a fucking break.

And after that...OF COURSE she decides to activate his imprinting protocols to make him, let me remind you, LOVE HIM FOREVER! She reads out a series of words, and after “FREIGHT CAR”, he knows his mission is to kill the Prime Minister of Sokovia. But first, he’ll settle down and love Monica unconditionally (again, FOREVER), calling her Mommy and making me shit my pants in fear. IT WASN’T ME, IT WAS FUCKING DAVID

Oh, and by the way, isn’t it kinda shitty to do that without Henry being involved AT ALL? Like, cool, he has unconditional maternal love, but Henry wasn’t a part of that conditioning at all! And he still refers to him as “Henry” instead of Dad! However, Henry definitely doesn’t care about that, because he still sees David as only a robot. Hey, guys, maybe using these two as your first experiment with a robot child WAS A TERRIBLE FUCKING IDEA, YOU IDIOTS! No wonder William Hurt was cast as Thunderbolt Ross in the MCU. Already shown he can play a character with shitty ideas before.

Anyway, after this terrible series of events, David prevents the parents from leaving one night due to his childlike antics. When Monica goes to comfort him, he asks how long she’ll live, and tells her that he hope she never dies, a COMPLETELY NORMAL THING TO SAY. Look, I get that he’s a robot, but only a goddamn emotionless sociopath would program emotional responses like this into a robot. Which, given what we’ve seen of Hobby, makes sense.

In response, she gives him Teddy (Jack Angel), a technologically advanced teddy bear with sentience, a personality, and the voice of Astrotrain from The Transformers TV series. Because, yes, I am THAT MUCH of a goddamn nerd.

Soon after, the house gets a phone call, which David receives...literally. He takes the phone and allows it to speak through him. It turns out that, shock beyond shocks, THEIR SON IS CURED! Yeah, fuck. Maybe giving David to a family with a STILL LIVING SON is a fucking ABSOLUTELY TERRIBLE IDEA, for about a thousand reasons.

And, fucking understandably, Martin Swinton (Jake Thomas) is a little upset to find out that he’s essentially been replaced by a robot kid. Although, to be fair, he’s also kind of a dick to David, holding his humanity over him and treating him as a toy that he attempts to manipulate and bully. My Lord, this is a massively stupid idea. And Martin immediately shows his dickishness by asking his mother to read Carlo Collodi’s The Adventures of Pinocchio to them. Which is meant to be a punishment for Pinocchio. However, of course, David loves it.

Still, however, there’s trouble in paradise for David, as he tries to compete with Martin for being a real boy, and eats spinach at dinner one evening. Despite Teddy’s mildly ominous warning to him (”YOU WILL BREAK”), he keeps eating until he basically has a stroke and breaks, forcing him to be repaired by some of Cybertronics’ technicians. Monica has a bit of a break down as a result, which Martin notices. This causes Martin to go pure supervillain, manipulating David to do creepy things in order to insert doubt into Monica about David. Jesus, Martin’s a creepy kid, too. No wonder Monica grew to be cool with David, her actual son is a FUCKING SOCIOPATHIC MONSTER! Are there ANY truly normal people in this world? IS THIS WHAT THE FUTURE IS?

Martin convinces David to cut a lock of Monica’s hair while she’s sleeping. And lemme tell ya, a little boy holding scissors over someone while they sleep is not exactly comforting. Henry agrees, and after stopping him, believes that they need to return him. Monica disagrees, knowing that they’ll destroy him if brought back. But David, ever the semi-sociopath himself, ignores any signs of humanity in David and dismisses Monica's feelings for him entirely. He also says this thing about “IF HE CAN BE PROGRAMMED TO LOVE, CAN NOT HE BE PROGRAMM-ED TO HATE?”, which...no. No, he cannot. He didn’t learn to love, he was programmed to. And, again, that’s ethically FUCKED, but taking that into account...no. HE WASN’T PROGRAMMED TO HATE, HENRY. Goddamn, buddy, use your head here.

It’s Martin’s birthday, and his friends at the pool party expose David to the fun world of anti-robot (or Mecha) racism, and test to see if he has Damage Avoidance Systems by threatening him with a knife. And he does. Buuut, when those systems kick in, he goes to the nearest point of safety to keep himself safe. That point is, unfortunately, Martin, whom he gets behind...and accidentally drags into the pool.

Thing is, because of Martin’s recent illness, he can’t exactly swim, meaning that David almost drowns him. When Henry and other partygoers go to save him, they abandon David in the pool completely. And now, David’s fucked. Because although this situation isn’t even a little bit his fault, he also just nearly killed Martin. And so, after seeing notes that he’s been writing to her, Monica offers to take for a “ride in the country”. Which definitely means something good. In reality, she’s planning on taking him back to Cybertronics. But once in the car, there’s a change in plans. And hear me out...it’s arguably far more horrifying.

She decides to abandon him in the woods completely, despite how hard it is for her to leave him. She’s sparing him from death, sure, but also throwing him into a world he doesn’t understand, and for reasons that he doesn’t understand. It’s genuinely terrible. And then...yeah, she leaves him forever, to an uncertain future.

End Act One.

I think this is a good place to stop. It’s early, and I need more coffee to handle this shit. See you in Part Two. Of Three. Yup. It’s a long one.