#so it's good that i am not allergic to any food they like

[itstimeforstarwars]

Working in this office is just fending off all my coworkers offering me a peanut or an almond or a pistachio or a walnut. No thank you I do not like nuts, I say every day, but every day they offer me a peanut or an almond or a pistachio.

[waitimcomingtoo]

Wasn’t Me

Pairing: Peter Parker x Stark!reader

Synopsis: when Vision accidentally phases through your wall and catches you and Peter in the act, you try to stop it from spreading to everyone in the tower before Tony gets home

Masterlist

“Wait, this isn’t the kitchen.” Vision said as he accidentally phased through the bedroom wall. You and Peter froze at the sound of a third voice and slowly looked up. Every time you snuck off to have some private time with each other, you made sure to lock the door. But despite all your best efforts to keep your relationship a secret, neither of you accounted for Vision coming through the wall. Especially not when you were right in the middle of….something.

“Oh. Hello.” Vision said and gave you and Peter a polite wave. The act he had caught you did not seem to phase him at all while you and Peter were horrified.

“AHHHH.” You and Peter screamed at the same time. You rolled off of Peter and landed right on the floor while Peter grabbed a pillow and placed it over his lap.

“Forgive me for intruding, but I am looking for the kitchen.” She said to meet her in the kitchen.” Vision asked politely.

“Well you’re not gonna find it here!” You exclaimed as you threw your shirt back on.

“Dude! Get out! ” Peter shouted as he hastily tried to zip his pants.

“Oh, sorry, am I interrupting something?” Vision genuinely asked.

“YES!” You screamed like it was obvious.

“My apologies. I bid you both a good day.” Vision nodded curtly and disappeared back the way he came. You and Peter stayed in silence for a while as you processed what had happened.

“Do you think he saw us?” Peter asked to break the silence. You sat up from under him and gave him a look.

“Do I think he saw us?” You repeated slowly.

“Well do you?” Peter asked as you climbed back onto the bed.

“Are you kidding me? Of course he saw! The straw was already in the coconut. There’s no way he didn’t realize what was going on.”

“Maybe he thought we were just wrestling?” Peter shrugged weakly.

“Uh huh. Wresting with your dick out. Just like WWE.” You said sarcastically.

“Damn it. He definitely saw us. Do you think he’ll tell anyone?” Peter worried.

“He better not. My dad will kill you. And then vaporize your corpse. And then set the ashes on fire. And then blow them into a shrimp cocktail.”

“But I’m allergic to shellfish.”

“Exactly.” You whispered.

“Oh shit.” Peter gulped. “We need to go find Vision and make sure he doesn’t tell anyone.”

“Let’s go. He’s probably charging or in a bowl of rice or something.” You said and lead Peter out of the room. You went into the kitchen and found Vision at the breakfast table.

“Hey Vision.” Peter smiled awkwardly as you stood beside him.

“Hello, Peter.” Vision said politely.

“So, about the little snafu from before. We just want to make sure you don’t tell anybody about what you saw.”

“Yeah. Because it wasn’t what it looked like.” You added.

“Oh, no? It looked like the two do you were engaging in sexually explicit activity.” Vision replied. You and Peter exchanged a panicked look and tried to think of a way out of this.

“It looked like that, yes, but that’s not what we were doing.” Peter lied as you nodded along.

“Hm. That’s funny. I can detect heart rates and both of you appear to be lying.” Vision said with genuine curiosity.

“We’re not lying, silly.” You forced a laugh. “My heart is racing because I haven’t had any food yet but I drank a bunch of coffee.”

“You know women and their pumpkin spice lattes.” Peter added, earning himself a jab in the side.

“Watch it.” You said through a smile.

“And my heart just beats fast because I have the heart rate of a spider.” Peter added. “No lying here.”

“Oh, I see. But if you two weren’t engaging in sexual activity, what were you doing?” Vision questioned.

“Uhhh…” Peter scratched his head and tried to think of something.

“Peter was just choking on a pretzel and I was getting it out of his throat.” You jumped in.

“With your tongue?” Vision asked.

“Yes?” Peter said weakly.

“With your shirts off?”

“It’s a new technique.” You deadpanned.

“I’m not aware of this technique. Can you demonstrate on me?” Vision asked you.

“Absolutely not.” Peter snapped and stepped between you and Vision. Vision looked at Peter in confusion and you had to jump in again.

“Because it didn’t work.” You explained. “He still choked.”

“He seems fine to me. Although, I am detecting some slight discomfort in the abdomen.” Vision said as he looked Peter up and down.

“I have a tummy ache.” Peter admitted and patted his stomach.

“Would you like me to conduct a physical exam?” Vision asked and held up both his hands.

“No. I probably just have to fart.”

“Oh my God.” You groaned and rubbed your eyes.

“So are we cool? You’re not gonna tell anyone what you saw?” Peter asked Vision.

“We are cool. I will not be telling anyone what I didn’t see.” Vision confirmed.

“Okay. Good.” You sighed in relief.

“Except for Wanda.” He added. “Because I already told her. I tell her everything. I love her quite dearly.”

“Oh my God.” You groaned even louder.

“What did you tell her you saw?” Peter asked him.

“Just you were engaging in-“

“It wasn’t sexual activity!” You exclaimed. “He was choking and I was saving his life.”

“Then why was his penis out?” Vision asked Peter.

“Because…it…was… cold.” Peter said slowly, hating himself with every word.

“Oh my God. Both of you need to stop.” You stated. “Do you think Wanda going to tell anyone about what you thought you saw but didn’t actually see?”

“I’m not sure.” Vision replied. “You’ll have to ask her.”

“Fine. We can ask her.” You sighed and pulled Peter by the hand and brought him to where Wanda was reading on the balcony.

“I don’t want to. She’s scary.” Peter whispered to you.

“We have to talk to her and find out what she knows before she tells my dad.” You whispered back.

“I can whisper too.” Wanda whispered as she suddenly appeared behind the two of you. You both screamed and jumped apart as she laughed. You grabbed Peters hand and ran away, brushing past Natasha as you went.

“They’re a little odd, aren’t they?” Natasha chuckled as she watched you run by.

“They are.” Wanda agreed. “You know, Vision caught them doing it before.”

“What? No way.”

“Yeah. He said he accidentally phased through Peters bedroom wall and caught them.”

“Oh God. Yuck. New fear unlocked. That’s hilarious though.” Natasha laughed at the thought.

“What’s hilarious?” Steve asked as he came into the room.

“Vision caught Y/n and Peter doing it.” Natasha told him.

“What?” Steve laughed. “No way.”

“That’s what I said!” Natasha laughed.

“Honestly, I kinda figured they were doing it. They are the only two in the tower around that age. And lord knows Peter is hornier than an…animal with horns.” Steve said weakly when he couldn’t think of an animal.

“Rhino?” Wanda asked.

“I was thinking Triceratops.” Steve admitted.

“Wait, isn’t there a rule again dating on the team?” Nat asked. “At least, that’s what Tony tells me and Bruce every time we make eye contact.”

“If he had a problem with that, he’s definitely gonna have a rule against one of us dating his daughter. Especially Peter.”

“I thought Peter was a nice boy, no?” Wanda asked.

“He is.” Steve nodded. “But all Tony will see is that he’s a boy who Vision caught with his daughter. He’s gonna blow Peter into a million pieces.”

“I’m pretty sure that’s what Vision walked in on.” Wanda mumbled. From across the room, you and Peter were peeking out from behind a wall to watch them all talk.

“This is bad. They’re all laughing and saying our names.” Peter whispered to you.

“Do you think Wanda told?”

“I don’t know. What if she made them all see it with her mind powers?”

“Why would she do that?”

“Because she’s evil and not to be trusted!” Peter whispered harshly.

“We just need to talk to her and find out what she knows. Maybe she didn’t even believe Vision.”

“Do we have to?” Peter whined. “What if she enters my mind palace?”

“She wouldn’t find much.” You mumbled.

“What was that?”

“Nothing, sweetie.” You patted his cheek and pulled him out from behind the wall. Natasha and Steve had left at that point and Wanda had gone back to her book.

“Hey, Wanda.” You said with an awkward wave.

“Oh. Hello. I haven’t seen you two in forever. What have you been up to?” Wanda said sarcastically.

“Not much. Same soup, just reheated. You know the vibes. So, uh, we just wanted to talk to you about something. Something Vision might have said.” You began.

“Oh. You mean you two swallowing each other alive in Peters room?” Wanda asked. You and Peter exchanged a look and Peter let out a loud gulp.

“Vision doesn’t know what he saw.” You told her.

“Vision is made from the highest form of artificial intelligence. He knows everything.”

“Okay.” You said mockingly. “But he doesn’t know in this specific situation.”

“He’s programmed to access a situation down to every last detail in case there is a threat of danger. And it seemed the only threat of danger in Peters room that day was running out of oxygen. Or maybe a broken pelvis.”

“I’m flattered but I’m not that good.” Peter said humbly.

“He’s right. He isn’t.” You nodded in agreement.

“What was that?” Peter asked you.

“We just want to make sure whatever Vision told you about what he thinks he saw isn’t going to be told to anyone else.” You said to Wanda.

“Now hold on.” Peter tried to go back to what he had heard.

“Secrets safe with me.” Wanda smiled and zipped her lips.

“And me.” Bruce said from behind you. You and Peter whipped around and saw Bruce staring at you while eating a bowl of cereal.

“What?! Were you in here the whole time?” Peter asked.

“Yeah. Wanda, you are funny. How come I never noticed that?” Bruce chuckled.

“I’m not sure.” Wanda shrugged. “You tell me.”

“God damn it. Are either of you going to tell anyone what Vision saw?” You asked and pointed at Wanda and Bruce.

“I thought Vision didn’t see anything?” Wanda smirked.

“Right. Is anyone going to tell my dad about what Vision thinks he saw but definitely didn’t see?” You asked with a hopeful smile.

“Maybe? I don’t understand the question. Can you reword it? Or maybe write it down so I can see it?” Bruce asked.

“Oh my God.” You groaned. “I thought you were the smart one.”

“Ouch. Can you tell your girlfriend to stop being mean to me?” Bruce asked Peter.

“I’m not his girlfriend because we weren’t engaging in sexual activity because we’re not dating. Everyone got that?” You asked angrily.

“Got it.” Wanda nodded.

“No, sorry. Still confused. So you are dating but Vision didn’t catch you guys doing it?” Bruce asked so genuinely that you wanted to scream.

“No, he definitely did.” Wanda snorted. You looked at her in betrayal and she smiled apologetically.

“Oh. Now I get it. You guys are dating and Vision did catch you having sex.” Bruch realized. “But what are we not telling Tony?”

“No one is telling Mr. Stark anything. Everyone just keep your mouth shut about the activities, which may or may not have been sexual in nature, that Vision allegedly walked in on. Okay?” Peter exclaimed.

“My lips are sealed.” Wanda assured you. “Well, now they are. Because I already told Steve and Nat. But that was before you asked me not to tell anyone.”

“Oh my God. Find. Can we trust you?” You asked Bruce.

“I’m not gonna rat. Don’t worry.”

“Thank you.” Peter nodded. “You’re dismissed.”

“I don’t take orders from you.” Bruce snapped and walked away.

“Jesus Christ.” Peter whispered and felt genuinely offended by the tone. You took his hand and brought him away from Wanda to regroup.

“We need to get ahead of this before anyone else finds out we’re secretly dating.” You told him.

“You guys are secretly dating?” Sam asked as he came into the hallway, making you both jump.

“Damn it!” Peter shouted and hit the wall.

“Oh great. Captain fucking America knows now.” You grumbled.

“Since when are you two a thing?” Sam laughed and looked between you and Peter.

“Two months.” You admitted.

“Two months? And Tony still doesn’t know?”

“Do you think Peter would be alive right now if my dad knew?” You asked and gestured to Peter.

“That’s a joke, right?” Peter laughed nervously.

“I guess not.” Sam shrugged.

“Are you gonna tell my dad?” You asked him.

“No.” Sam replied.

“Cool. Thanks.” You sighed in relief.

“But only if-“

“Mother fucker.” You exclaimed now that there was a new obstacle.

“Only if you promise to never bring up that one time with the TV.” Sam continued.

“You mean when you got caught-“

“Zip it.” Sam cut you off. “Or I’ll tell Daddy Warbucks about your affair with Little Orphan Annie here.”

“This whole conversation has been wildly emasculating.” Peter mumbled.

“I never saw anything.” You told Sam.

“Good.” He nodded. “Then we have a deal.”

You went to shake hands when your phone started to ring. You looked at Peter curiously and pulled it out of your pocket.

“Hang on. Hello?”

“Hey short stack. I’m landing in 20 minutes. I can see that most of the team is in the tower today so I thought we could all have a nice, family dinner in the dining room. How does that sound?” Tony asked you through the phone.

“The entire team? In the dinning room? For dinner? Tonight?” You asked as panic grew in your chest.

“Are you playing a one man game of Clue? Just let everyone know, will you?” Tony asked.

“Sure, daddy. No problem.” You laughed nervously and looked at Peter with wide eyes.

“Thanks, peach. See you soon.” Tony said before having up.

“Shit balls.” You whispered once you were off the phone.

“Was that super good news?” Peter asked hopefully.

“My dad wants the whole team in the dinning room for family dinner.” You said and held your breath for his reaction.

“Son of a…” Peter started to shout and then quieted down, “shart mama.”

“I know. It’s bad.”

“This has gotten so out of hand. I’ve never taken this many L’s in a row. I don’t know if I can take anymore. My body is shutting down. I haven’t peed all day.” Peter said as he paced back and forth.

“Keep it together.” You said as you gripped his shoulders.

“Oh no. This is going to be so awkward.” Sam laughed at your misfortune.

“Why? Because everyone knows we’re secretly dating except for Mr. Stark and they also know Mr. Stark will kill them for knowing and not telling him right away so tonight will be a long, uncomfortable game of who tells him first?” Peter asked all in one breath.

“Yes, that’s exactly why.” Sam nodded and looked at Peter strangely.

“I don’t want to go.” Peter whispered and turned to you.

“We all have to go.” You told him. “He’ll get sus if we’re not all there.”

“But what if your dad kills me?” Peter whined.

“Then I’ll wait at least three months before getting a new boyfriend.” You smiled sweetly and patted his chest.

“You can do that but I’ll just haunt him and kill him in his sleep.” Peter smiled back.

“Oh my God. Come on. We have to go get ready for dinner.” You said and pulled Peter to your room.

30 minutes later, everyone was seated in the dining room with Tony at the head of the table. You and Peter nervously peered through the doorway to see what the set up was.

“What’s our plan?” Peter asked you.

“Sit far away from each other and diverge the conversation every time my dad gets close to happening upon the truth.”

“Okay. How hard can that be? We never get together for family dinner. They’ll all be talking so much that you and I won’t even come up.”

You and Peter took your seats at the table with you next to your dad and Peter further away. You made eye contact with Peter and nodded to let him know that you were in this together. Everyone stayed dead silent as the food was passed around and Tony was quick to notice.

“Why is everyone so quiet? Did Sam leave porn on the big TV again?” Tony asked as he chewed his food. You gulped and looked at Peter in a panic. You had been wrong about everyone talking and keeping the attention away from you. Instead, everyone was silent and tense since they didn’t want to be the one to let Tony know what Vision had seen.

“That was one time.” Sam defended.

“But how could we ever forget?” Tony teased him.

“I just wanted to watch Mama Mia. My eyes were burned.” Bucky said as he shut his eyes to keep out the memory.

“Let it go.” Sam said flatly.

“I don’t remember that.” You said robotically. Sam gave you a discreet thumbs up across the table.

“What? You were the one that found it.” Tony reminded you.

“Doesn’t ring a bell. I think you’re all remembering incorrectly.” You said with no much stiffness it sounded like you were reading from a prompter. Tony looked around the table and everyone avoided eye contact with him. They mindlessly pushed their food around their plates to look busy so that Tony wouldn’t ask them anything.

“Why is everyone acting weird?” Tony asked.

“What? We’re not. You’re being weird, dad.” You forced a laugh and patted Tony’s arm.

“Right.” Tony said skeptically. “So, Pete the treat. Any romantic interests at school?”

Everyone turned to stare at Peter, who was in the middle of taking a sip from his glass. Peter started choking on his water for a long time. No one made any effort to help Peter so he just sat there choking for an uncomfortably long period of time. Everyone stayed silent as he Peter coughed, turned red, and clapped his chest to try and get the water out. When he was finally done, he was crying and bright red.

“What?” Peter asked horsely.

“Peter doesn’t want to talk about girls, dad.” You laughed nervously. Everyone exchanged looks while also sneaking glances at you and Peter.

“He does with me. Come on. My dad never bothered with this stuff and I want to break the cycle. Tell me about your love life.” Tony insisted and playfully patted the table. You shot daggers at Peter and everyone turned to look at him. Peter felt sweat dripping down his forehead and smiled nervously.

“There’s no one, Mr. Stark. No girls.”

“I don’t buy that for a second. I can see the hormones brewing in your eyes. You’re sweating just at the thought of her. I know there’s a girl.”

“Maybe.” Peter squeaked out.

“See? I knew it. Tell me about her. She cute?” Tony asked. Peter looked at you for a brief second and quickly looked away.

“Yeah, yeah. She’s gorgeous. Really pretty.”

“She’s all right.” Sam shrugged, making everyone stifle a laugh as your jaw dropped.

“Fuck did you just say?” Peter snapped.

“I was kidding. Damn.” Sam held up his hands in defense.

“Damn, indeed.” Tony laughed. “Way to stand up for your girl, kid. She’s a lucky lady.”

“Thank you, sir.” Peter said and hoped that was the end of the conversation.

“You really are a good kid, Peter. I don’t tell you enough. I was just saying this to Pepper the other day, but if anyone is ever brave enough to try and date my daughter, I hope they’re like you.” Tony said sincerely. This time, you started choking as everyone murmured with amusement.

“Really?” Peter asked hopefully. He looked at you but you didn’t dare make eye contact.

“Yeah. Sure, you’re pretty annoying and way too eager at times, but you’re a good kid. You’re responsible, you care about other people, and you know how to get a decent haircut.” Tony continued.

“So you’d give Peter your blessing? If he and I ever wanted to date?” You asked skeptically.

“Absolutely not.” Tom said immediately.

“What?” Your face dropped. “But you just said-“

“I said I hope the person you date is like Peter.” Tony specified. “But Peter would never be allowed to date you.”

“Why not?” Peter asked and you shot him a look. Everyone else kept their heads down and turned away from Tony so he wouldn’t suspect anything.

“Not that I care. Psh. Peter is lame. I would never date Peter. Haha. But yeah, why not?” You asked your dad.

“Because he’s a superhero. And no daughter of mine is dating a superhero.”

“But you’re a superhero.” You pointed out. “And mom married you.”

“I know. That’s why I’d never allow you to go down the same path. I’ve missed hundreds dates, thousands of calls, and a million important moments because I was off being a superhero. I was saving the world but I was hurting the person I love most in the process. I don’t want that life for you. If Peter was an average guy off the street, I’d be thrilled to know you were dating him. But Peter isn’t average.”

“I know that.” You replied, starting to get annoyed now that your dad was trying to tell you that you couldn’t do something. You were already doing it, but he didn’t need to know that. He needed to know that he couldn’t make your choices for you.

“Ayo. Yeah she does.” Sam snorted. Everyone gasped and looked at him, making him freeze. You and Peter stared daggers at Sam who smiled sheepishly.

“Oops?”

“You little bitch.” You mouthed across the table at him. Tom noticed the way everyone reacted and grew suspicious. He looked at you and noticed you weren’t making eye contact. He then looked at Peter, who looked like he was about to pass out.

“What was that?” Tony asked Sam.

“Nothing.” Sam scoffed and went back to eating.

“Samuel. Tell me what you just said.” Tony said with an eerily calm smile.

“I don’t want to.” Sam whispered.

“Tell me or I will shove your wings so far up your ass-“

“I said she knows Peter isn’t average.” Sam admitted before Tony could finish his sentence. You buried your face in your hands while Peter chewed off all of his fingernails.

“What does that mean?” Tony asked and turned to you.

“I can confirm that as well.” Vision raised his finger as he spoke up. You and Peter looked at Vision in betrayal while everyone else stayed silent.

“Oh my God.” You whispered and rubbed your face.

“What? What’s the big red giant talking about?” Tony asked you again, sounding angry this time. Before you had a chance to think of something, Vision spoke up.

“I’m talking about how I accidentally caught them fornicating earlier today, sir. Also, am I required to be here? I can’t actually eat food.” Vision said politely. Everyone was dead silent as Tony processed what he was hearing. No one dared to look up from their plates or even move a muscle.

“You know what? Vision is right. We should actually all leave. And never return. Bye!” You said and got up from the table. Tony grabbed the back of your shirt and made you sit back down.

“Nobody move.” He said in a low voice. Silence fell over the table again as Tony slowly looked to Peter. That’s when he noticed that Peter had passed out and had his limp head in his dinner plate.

“Wake the son of a bitch up.” Tony ordered. Wanda lifted Peters head by his hair and a green bean stuck to his cheek and forehead.

“Peter?” Tony asked, but Peter didn’t wake up. Wanda shook him, then took his pulse to see if he was even alive.

“He’s unresponsive.” She reported.

“Jesus Christ.” You groaned to yourself as you watched Wanda and Steve try to wake Peter up.

“He peed his pants.” Steve announced, making you groan even louder.

“PETER!” Tony shouted as he banged on the table. Peter woke up and looked around in confusion. Tony slowly stood up and leaned over the table while staring daggers at Peter.

“Somebody tell me what’s going on.” Tony demanded. No one said anything, so you bit the bullet and stood up as well.

“Dad, Peter and I are dating. Vision caught us before and the whole team found out about it. That’s what’s going on, okay? Please, don’t kill my boyfriend.”

“What?” Tony asked as he slumped back in his seat. You couldn’t tell if he was angry or upset, but it was definitely not good.

“Sam was watching porn on the big screen!” You blurted and pointed to Sam.

“You said you didn’t see anything!” Sam pointed back at you.

“That was before you didn’t hold up your end of the deal!” You shouted.

“Shut up, both of you. Are you kidding me right now? You’re dating Peter Parker?” Tony asked in a calmer voice.

“Yes, daddy. I am. I have been for two months. We didn’t tell you because we knew you’d be mad and we just wanted some time together before you forced us apart. I wouldn’t normally lie to you like this but I knew you’d never allow us to be together and I love him. I just needed to love him for as long as I could before the world knew. I’m sorry. Please, don’t be mad at me.” You said as you took your dads hands. Tony stared at you for a long time and finally, put his hand on your cheek.

“I could never be mad at you, princess.” Tony said kindly. You smiled in surprise as Peter let out a sigh of relief.

“I’m gonna turn Peter inside out, though.” Tony said sweetly before lunging at Peter. He punched Peter right in the throat, making Peter collapse to the ground. You rushed to Peters side as Tony shook out his hand.

“Dad! You can’t hit him that hard. He’s only 5’8. He could’ve died.” You yelled at Tony as you pulled Peters head into your lap.

“That didn’t even hurt.” Peter wheezed out as he clutched his throat. Tony wound up to hit Peter again, but stopped when he saw something that surprised him. He watched Peter reached up and touch your face as he whispered to you that everything was going to be all right. He thought he had just been punched in the throat and was awaiting the punishment of a lifetime, his priority was to comfort you when you were upset. Tony then knelt down beside Peter and helped him sit up.

“I’m sorry, kid. I should not have hit you. It was a slight overreaction.” Tony sincerely apologized.

“Slight?” Peter croaked out.

“I just wasn’t expecting to come home to this news. But if it’s been two months and my daughter says she’s this in love, maybe I was wrong. Maybe it wouldn’t be as bad as I thought.”

“Mr. Stark, I know it’s probably hard to think about your daughter dating someone with a life as unpredictable as ours, but I don’t put anything above her. If I’m out on patrol, chances are, she’s hanging out on a rooftop with a walkie talkie telling me where to go. If I have to miss a date to take care of something, I take her with me. She’s my partner in all of this. I don’t leave her waiting around for a text back all night. She comes first.”

“Actually, “Vision began, “when I entered your room, it seemed as though Peter was going-“

“Do not finish that sentence, jumbo tampon.” You cut him off.

“You can trust me, Mr. Stark. You can trust us.” Peter said as he wrapped an arm around you. Tony looked between the two of you for a while but didn’t say anything.

“Please, daddy.” You whispered. Tony finally caved and smiled softly.

“Okay. You’ve convinced me. I’m not gonna kill Peter. You have my blessing, underoos.” Tony said as he helped Peter off the floor.

“Really? You’re not gonna force us apart?” You asked hopefully as you wrapped your arm around Peters.

“I’m not.” Tony confirmed. “You’re old enough to make your own decisions. But if he breaks your heart, he’s getting turned inside out. At least for a day. I cannot compromise on that.”

“Deal!” You clapped your hands before hugging your dad.

“Hold up, do I get a say in that deal?” Peter questioned.

“Don’t push your luck, kid. After what Vision walked in on you doing with Tony’s kid, you’re lucky to be alive right now.” Bruce said as he patted Peter on the back. Tony frowned as he pulled out of the hug.

“Hold on, what exactly did Vision walk in on?” Tony asked. Peter motioned for everyone to keep their mouths shut as Tony looked around the room. When no one answered him, he looked at you expectingly.

“So.” You laughed nervously. “Dessert, anyone?”

Tag List 🏷️

@thebookwormlife @imanativeofswlondondahling

@tom-hollands-wifey

@whatareyouhidingpeter @takenbyheartstrings

@imyourliquor-youremypoison @andreasworlsboring101

@peterparkoure

@justcallmehitgirl @jackiehollanderr

@emmamarshmellow @unbelievableholland

@sovereignparker @every-marveler-ever @undiadeestos @eridanuswave​ ​

@solarxmoonchild @canyouevencauseicant

@quaksonhehe @lovelessdagger

@thesuitelifeofafangirl @marshxx @nooneinvitedfascistbarbie

@maybemona

@alexxcorona113 @lethal-wisdom

@pandaxnienke

 @officialsimppage @peterbenjiparker @itsemohours

@freakofmusic25 @tomholland85

@olixerwxxd @leilanixx

@whereismytelephone @so-very-asleep @white-wolf1940

@spideyspeaches @hihiweezing

@mathletemadison  

@dhtomholland @insomniac-nerd-posts-things @prancerrparkerr @loudthoughts-softspoken

@hallecarey1 @adayasgeorgia @blackwidowisthebest @imawhoreforu

@ciarahollands

[gallusrostromegalus]

hi i see that you have much smart dog experience. i may have accidentally purchased such a dog. she's only 10 weeks, and ive had her 1, and she's already outmatched every puzzle feeder i got or have made. to the point that she is morosely disappointed when her food comes in an actual food bowl. do you know where i can find like. "heres 100 enrichment toys you can make out of free trash so your dog stops eating fucking rocks for enrichment" lists. i only have so many paper towel tubes XD

Herschel now just disassembles puzzle feeders, so I've been focusing on "Toys that, even if he already knows how to operate them, will still take TIME for him to collect the treat from" to give him something to fuss with.

Herschel eats all his meals out of a Kong Wobbler, because he will otherwise eat so fast he will literally inhale and choke on his kibble and I do not need him developing pneumonia from aspiration. Even though it's a "Simple" toy it slows him down and he does have to think a bit to tip it in the most efficient manner possible. Kong's "Flipz", "Gyro" and "Rewards Wally" are also really good "dog needs to think/carefully manipulate the toy for food" toys that act as both mental stimulation and exercise and "give human a break for up to twelve minutes" toys.

I highly reccomend KONG as a brand- they're local to Denver and have an impeccable saftey record and all of the toys I have gotten from them have held up extremely well vs. the ravages of three entirely too smart and strong-jawed dogs at once.

Some more thoughts:

If she's not prone to shredding rubber, the kind of treat toys she has to chew are also good stimulation.

If you don't want to give her That Many treats, my vet said that dogs can have as many green beans as they want. Just make sure that the beans haven't had salt added to them- canned usually does, but frozen green beans usually don't, but always check the label.

You can make nearly any toy last longer, or make a cheap long-puzzle by freezing the treats so they take longer to eat AND provides hydration. Herschel's most favorite treat of all time is literally a wad of sliced green beans in a dixie cup, filled with water and frozen. Just peel off the cup and hand him the chunk of ice and he's good for up to half an hour and more chill afterwards.

You can also freeze lick mats

If your girl is like Charlie and doesn't like greenbeans, you can also try freezing paper cups of: Canned pumpkin, apple slices in water, putting some ice cubes in the bottom of the cup, a gob of peanut butter in the middle and then fill it with water to make a peanutbutter filled ice cube.

If your girl is REALLY like charlie who has figured out how to use labor negotiation and strike tactics for better treats: boiled chicken chunks frozen in some of the water you boiled them in.

Walkies are as much mental stimulation as they are physical exercise. Take her out and let her sniff to her heart's content.

Also Puppies in particular need like, SO MUCH exercise.

Let her participate in activities with you. Herschel and charlie sit in the kitchen and I narrate cooking dinner to them, which seems to interest them, even if I don't have spare veggie ends to give them. I also frequently bring them along in the car if I'm running errands when it's cold enough to do that, so they have something new to look at, and get to participate. I also am more likely to stop at a new park and give myself some exercise and mental stimulation.

Training her to do tasks is GREAT Smart Dog enrichment- esp if she's a herding or heeler, they LOVE being helpful. I taught the dogs they get a small treat if they come in from the yard without me having to go chase them down, which saved me a lot of hassle, and now I'm working on teaching herschel to pick things up off the floor for me if I drop them and alert for chickpeas, which my housemate is allergic to.

A lot of dogs like cat-type toys. Tie a stick or some fleece to some paracord and drag or flycast it around for her to chase/play tug with when she catches it. Toys that bounce unexpectedly were also a huge hit. or just wave the string around the cat and the corgi both like that.

If you live in farm country or know other people with pets, you can grab something with the scent of another animal on it and bring it home for her to smell. Charlie and Herschel spent the better part of three days investigating the wad of horse undercoat I brought home and put in the spare wobbler for them to smell.

[reginaofdoctorwho]

also i don't think i already posted about it but turns out i'm probably allergic to onions :(

the smell of onions cooking or eating stuff with onions in it triggered my migraines for years but last week i got take out, ate the onions because i was like "these don't smell strong, it shouldn't be that bad" and uh. it was! migraine got triggered almost instantly, my face swelled up and i got a rash on my face, and i had to keep taking the max dose of my allergy meds this whole week just to slow the pain and ease it up

also i just got exposed again because i used the same knife my mom used for onion soup to cut a slit in my pomegranate and i got the rash and swelling in my hands :( luckily i had forgotten about it in the fridge for a while so none of the seeds the knife touched were actually good enough to eat so my face is fine ig? i'll find out tomorrow

[al1fers-haven]

Almost Instinctual

Alastor x pregnant!reader

‼️pregnant reader, pregnancy in general, overprotective Alastor, a bit of angst, secret pregnancy‼️

Prompt: In where you, y/n, go to the Hazbin hotel for shelter after splitting up with your previous boyfriend. And try and keep your pregnancy a secret until you find a better solution.

Part 1 (you’re here!), part 2

(I am lazy and am writing this like it’s a bunch of facts and writing specific scenes…I might rewrite when I get my laptop.)

(8 weeks/2 months)

You and your boyfriend had split up about a week ago, afraid you’ll run out of money eventually you decided that instead of staying at a creepy motel with no locks, you’d move to a free-helpful option.

Of course you felt a little bad for abusing the owners kindness, using the Hazbin hotel not for redemption, but instead for shelter and food.

Charlie had welcomed you in with open arms (literally, she squeezed you pretty hard.) and even introduced you to everyone except for two who were out running around hell.

Alastor was explained to you as a creepy, tall deer man who may sound rude but has good intentions.

And Charlie explained angeldust as a ‘work in progress’ and told her a couple stories instead of describing him.

Charlie offered you the job of receptionist, claiming that husker wasn’t exactly good with the socializing aspect of it and you happily accepted. Eyes beaming at the opportunity for a job right infront of you.

(12 weeks/3 months)

You were happily greeted with nausea every morning. The morning sickness now starting to affect you more than ever, you haven’t exactly told anyone about your pregnancy and were hoping to be out of the hotel by the time you started showing.

Now working at the hotel for a bit, you noticed that probably wasn’t going to happen anytime soon.

“Are you alright y/n?” Charlie peaked her head into the bathroom; a small frown on her face as you heaved a bit, nodding.

“Yup- I’m just dandy..! Mind getting me a wet towel or something love? I think I ate something bad yesterday…” Charlie let out a little gasp and nodded, running off to god knows where just to get that little thing for you.

You had actually started to get to know the patrons of the hotel more, for example. You learned angeldust was actually the pornstar you had heard about all over social media. And he adored three things.

Making people uncomfortable.

Cocaine.

And candy crush.

Husk had given you a couple of sickness remedies, saying that they would help with stomach bugs. All natural just incase you were allergic and you slowly started to warm up to him.

Charlie and vaggie had grown to be very special to you now. Their opposite personalities absolutely making you giggle everytime you hung out with them or went out for groceries.

Now, Alastor was an odd fellow. He was a bit younger than you since you were hellbotn and all but he seemed to act older than you. Calling you things like ‘dear’, ‘Cher’, or Mon biche.

Mon biche was the most common one, and after looking it up. You realized he was calling you my doe, or just doe 90% of the time.

He definetly knew. Not letting you eat any form of ‘raw meat’ that would go on your plate and even specially making drinks for you so you felt like you could participate in drinking games without suspicion.

Overall, he was a total kitten. A bit emotionally stunted in areas of course..but he never failed to brighten the room.

(Unless he was threatening someone.)

(17 weeks/3.2 months)

You started showing, not visibly with clothing on but you were still showing when you sat down.

Your closet changed a bit, from nice outfits to usually a dress you had gotten or some high waisted sweats, trying to be as comfortable as possible in your state.

Alastor had been…odd.

He had started to let you grab his arm when going up or down the stairs, which usually during conversations he’d just stand at the bottom waiting. And he now seemed like he was constantly watching you.

Husker had done the same. The two animal demons in the hotel knowing because of a certain change in smell, it wasn’t like you didn’t know it was going to happen.

Husker had promoted for just leaving you alone and stopping the mean comments, understanding that pregnant women were a force to be reckoned with. (And you appreciated that. You had been crying earlier that day for the cookie you bought not tasting like blueberry’s.)

You cried a couple times because of angel, which Alastor just stared at you as you sniffled and attempted to keep the conversation going.

You also cried about 2 days ago because Charlie bought you a pretty necklace. It was hell.

Alastor tried to be accommodating in the field of emotional intelligence but…he failed. Making you cry more times than he could count and to be honest he only cared that he did because you were quite literally an angel to everyone.

Husker asked you in private one day if Mr smiles was the daddy to that little hellspawn and all you could do was laugh and blush a bit. Telling husker that he wasn’t and that he was just acting that way because she was a single mother.

Husker didn’t understand that, Alastor never had a soft spot for women her age.

(20 weeks/4 months)

First time you let anyone touch your stomach was during this time period, Alastor did so with adoration almost. Mentioning something about how he always had a soft spot for women with children..

You two had grown a bit closer.

Husker definitely still had his suspicions about you and the baby. He really thinks is alastors with the way he had been acting.

The red demon had gone out of his way several times to get you your weird ass cravings. One day you asked for a bite of his venison and then cried because you weren’t allowed to have it

You found him coming near you more often and asking multiple times to touch your baby bump as it grew, and everytime you let him that little tail of his would wag a bit behind him. Seemingly happy with the little life growing inside you.

He got more protective as well. Way more protective. He was your puppy that followed you around basically.

(He totally got you a bunch of ice cream, or helped you out with foods and sickness with his old man knowledge.)

(25 weeks/5 months)

If you wanna talk about awkward? Everyone in the hotel basically thought you and Alastor were a thing with how weird you two were together.

You would always be caught either straightening his bow tie or dusting off his shoulders. The term doting describing the two of you around one another.

May or may have not let it slip to Charlie that ‘it’s not like that, Alastor has said multiple times he doesn’t want to prey on pregnant women.

She asked to be the godmother.

Alastor hated the thought of that actually when you brought up that Charlie might be a good fit when he was giving you a snack. A nerve you didn’t know he had.

Soon everyone knew you were pregnant and angel was absolutely infatuated with this information. Asking who’s it is and stuff like that.

(7 months)

Alastor and you were practically a thing- he would help you out a lot and in return you’d kiss his cheek or help him out with cooking.

He practically worships the ground you walk on. Foot rubs for when they hurt, running a bath for you. Even going out of his way to compliment your outfits (even if you looked downright awful that day)

He even accompanied you to return the ring your ex gave you. Along with a couple other belongings you had from him.

Alastor may or may have not been seen with you outside , and you were mentioned by Rosie the next time.

(8 months)

Alastor and you had become somewhat official, if letting a dude fall asleep on your pregnant stomach bc he wanted to means official. Then yes( you were.

After you had a talk with Alastor about why he acted the way he did around you he simply said it was almost instinctual to take care of you. Something along the lines of him also being a gentleman.

He had invited you out to cannibal town, where you met Rosie and she was absolutely infatuated with you. Asking you questions and being so lovely towards you. Even going as far as mentioning she had her fair share of labor experience when it came to giving birth!

Alastor was very pleased to hear Rosie would help you- a bit scared she would eat the baby though…

(Part two coming out about nine months and the actual baby?)

[wannakissrobits]

Okay, I’ve said multiple times that I’d make a new cleaner post so here it is.

I am disabled and pretty severely mentally ill, on top of being queer, Jewish, mixed race, trans, and in very little control over my own life.

My parents, about a year and a half ago, put me in a mental health institution, since then they have moved me from one to another, they seized all my funds to pay for it, and now I keep finding myself in situations where I need to buy my own shit but I don’t have my own money, but need to get myself things like shampoo, toothpaste, and food that I’m not allergic to.

I can barely support myself, I have housing sure, but the housing is hell. I only have any way to contact the outside when I’ve been ‘good’

I do not have a bank outside of venmo and my Cashapp. But please consider donating, I really am struggling.

[anxiouspineapple99]

Title Prompt: I'll drop a few below and you can choose which one inspired the most. I'll let you decide if it's SFW or NSFW and write whatever you'd like.

- Little Lies & Brown Eyes

- Under a Bright Coruscant Sky

- What Happens on Nar Shadda...

No Rules, No Requirements, and No Rush!

Little Lies & Brown Eyes

Pairing: Tech x Fem!Reader

Summary: A game of “Two Truths, and a Lie” turns spicy!

Warnings: MINORS DNI. Recreational drinking, fingering, unprotected PiV, oral (f receiving), cxm eating, Dom!Tech, praise kink

Word Count: 1972

A/N: The semester is over! Which means I’m kicking off the break with smut. This is porn with a smattering of feelings. It’s filthy. I’m unsure what possessed me when I wrote this because I read it back and made myself blush. Thank you for the prompt @523rdrebel and thank you for being so patient while I took literal months to answer lol

Hunter, Wrecker, and Crosshair had made their own plans for this bout of shore leave which left you and Tech alone to enjoy each other’s company, something that you were quite delighted about if you did say so yourself. You found the tall bespectacled clone of Clone Force 99 to be unbelievably handsome and his mannerisms positively endearing. You loved when he asked you to help him tinker on the Marauder or chose you to share all of his new findings. Most of all you loved being the focus of his attention when it was just the two of you.

The evening started like the handful of others had in the past, the two of you tinkering under the console of the Marauder. You handed him tools as he talked about anything and everything on his mind.

Now, Tech wasn’t one for lying. He never saw any point in it. According to him it was a ‘superfluous detour toward the inevitable truth that was bound to emerge anyway. The truth is simply faster.’ You always appreciated that about him. His bluntness was refreshing (albeit sometimes harsh) and you valued that you could always count on it. Which was why two truths and a lie seemed like the perfect game.

You sat across from him, rosy cheeked, giggling. Breathtaking as always, he’d thought to himself. You weren’t drunk yet, but you were certainly teetering on the edge. The truths and lies started off benignly, mostly about favorite foods or hobbies.

“Alright, it’s your turn. Two truths and a lie, please. I am quite good at this game so make this one a challenge!” Tech puffed his chest out proudly before adjusting his goggles. You couldn’t fight your silly smile before you continued.

“Okay! So… I find you attractive. I am allergic to blumfruit. And… my childhood tooka was named Cuddles!” You leaned back.

Tech rested an elbow on his knee, “Well that is easy. Clearly the lie is that you find me attractive.”

You leaned in, nearly nose to nose with him, a playful smile crossed your lips as you answered, “Nope,” with an emphasized pop of the ‘p’. “I am not allergic to blumfruit.”

“Fascinating…”

You leaned back in the copilot seat, “Your turn, Tech!”

His leg bounced as he rested his chin in his hand.

His fingers tapped on his knee as he began to answer, “Very well. Wrecker’s snoring is the reason I sleep in the cockpit most of the time.” He paused, his eyes darkening behind his goggles. “I prefer wine to spotchka.” With his final statement he leaned in, narrowing his eyes, “And I should very much like to kiss you.”

You suddenly felt as sober as a judge.

“Wh-what?”

“Shall I repeat my statements? Perhaps I should enunciate more,” he rasped a tinge of lust colored his voice.

Your stomach turned. He couldn’t possibly…could he?

“N-no, ahh, wanting to kiss me. That’s the lie.”

He leaned into the backrest of the pilot seat, his back the straightest you’d ever seen it.

“Incorrect. I have no preference for alcoholic beverages. I will drink just about anything.”

You gulped, your eyes traveled to his lips. You clenched your thighs to quell the ever present arousal you felt in his presence. You watched wide eyed as he rose from his seat and filled the space between you. He caged you into the copilot seat, his brown eyes roving over you. He softly took your chin between his gloved thumb and index finger lifting your head to meet his gaze. Your breath hitched as he pressed his lips to yours. The kiss was soft and reserved, the opposite of his burning eyes.

He pulled back only slightly and tutted, “All those little lies, mesh’la. Did you really need those to tell me how you felt?”

An airy laugh huffed from your chest. “You’re one to talk.”

“I simply had not yet found an opportune moment,” he crooned against your lips. “Stand up.”

The command startled you at first. You were unaccustomed to Tech being so assertive.

“Mesh’la. I said stand. Up.”

Wordlessly, Tech guided you to your feet and turned your back to the console.

“You’ll need to use your words, darling. I need to know you want this too,” he growled into your ear sending chills down your spine and soaking your panties.

“Maker, yes please, Tech,” you whined as he trailed kisses from your neck to your collarbone.

“Mmm… good girl,” he sighed as he ran two gloved fingers along the outline of your breasts. Those two fingers ghosted down your sternum, along your stomach, and to the hem of your skirt. Meanwhile your own hands were exploring the edges of his armor.

He dragged those same two fingers up the inside of your thigh and pressed them to the soaked cloth covering your sex. You whined at his touch, desperately wanting him inside you.

“Oh dear,” he chuckled, removing his hand, “you’ve soaked my glove, mesh’la. Well, it only seems fair that you remove it for me.”

You made to reach for his gloved fingers when he held them to your lips and scolded, “Ah, with your mouth. Open.”

You opened your mouth and he slotted his fingers inside, almost choking you and then slowly dragged them back along your tongue ensuring you tasted yourself on his fingers. He paused long enough for you to bite down on the tip of the glove to pull it off. He then slid your panties off, tucking them in one of the many pouches on his utility belt.

His gloveless hand returned to your soaked folds, toying first with your clit and then sliding one exquisite digit inside of you. You bucked your hips in response, moaning loudly.

“I have wanted this for so long, cyare. To have you on the console of my ship, screaming my name. You will scream my name for me won’t you, good girl.” His tone was clear, that was an order. Not a question.

“Anything you want, sir.” You gasped through waves of pleasure as Tech swirled and thrust his finger, quickly learning which patterns elicited the greatest reactions.

The emphasis of that word unleashed an utterly primal side of Tech you’d never seen. His mouth crashed into yours, his tongue eagerly seeking entrance as he pressed his body to yours. He inserted a second finger inside you, your walls twitching in response to the stretch. He easily reached the delicate spot inside of you, pressing and stroking rhythmically, pushing you rapidly to the precipice.

“What a good girl you are. Who do you belong to?”

His mouth moved from your lips to your neck, biting and sucking leaving his marks. His brothers were going to come back and know exactly who you belonged to.

“Y-you Tech! I belong to you!”

And just as you promised him, you screamed his name as you crested your peak, your legs quaking with the intensity of your release.

He pressed his cheek to yours, “Are you ready, ner sarad? Are you ready for me to fill you up?”

You leaned into his touch, “Please, sir. I need to feel you inside of me, I feel so empty without you.”

A growl rumbled deep in his chest as he freed his throbbing cock already soaked with precum from his blacks in one swift movement. You were in awe of how long he was and hoped the next time you did this you could suck him off until he couldn’t walk the next day. Your fantasy of Tech fucking your mouth was cut short as he lifted you with ease and laid you on the console. He slid his cock within the walls of your pussy slowly and gently allowing you both to relish the bliss you were experiencing. You wrapped your legs around his waist as he caged you in. You wrapped your arms around his neck and whined into his ear as he bottomed out inside you, stretching you perfectly.

“So perfect, cyare. If I didn't know better I would think you had been made just for me,” he cooed, the sweet praise making your heart flutter.

“Please fuck me, Tech.” You gasped, the plea falling from your lips with agonizing desperation. You needed him to move, to rock his hips into yours and fill you to the brim.

“With pleasure,” he cooed with a smile and a soft kiss to your forehead.

He slowly pulled back and pushed back in, his eyes locked on yours gauging your reaction. Once. Twice. Again and again his thrusts were steadfast and precise. You threw your head back, moaning his name with each thrust.

“Mine,” he growled as his fingers grasped the back of your neck and your hips with nearly painful intensity.

Gradually he increased his pace, intentionally grinding his pelvis into your sensitive bud with each calculated movement. He grunted soft words of adoration and praise, still licking and biting at every inch of exposed skin. And with each thrust you felt him push you closer to your second release. You scraped your nails along his scalp as you cried his name with your volume matching the intensity of your pleasure. He followed suit with a shuddering sigh into your neck.

He pressed his chest to yours, dusting soft doting kisses along your neck, cheeks, and forehead. Your legs remained locked around his waist as he slowly softened inside of you.

He carried you to his rack, laying you down gently, pausing for a moment and smiling as if admiring a piece of art.

“Tech?” You felt exposed despite still being mostly clothed.

“Hm? Ah. My apologies cyare. You are just a divine creature and I am taking in your radiance.” He sat by your feet, running his hand up your thigh. “Now, why don’t you take the rest of your clothing off? I wish to worship you properly.”

You’d never shimmied out of clothing so quickly. You fought the urge to cover up.

He stared at your pussy still dripping with cum, both yours and his, hungrily.

“This,” he growled, lust soaking his words. “Should do nicely.”

He needed to taste you, the perfectly unique combination of you and him. He lifted your knees over his shoulders, a growl rumbling in his chest as his eyes never left your drenched sex. He pushed his goggles up onto his forehead before trailing open mouthed kisses up your thigh. His lithe fingers squeezed your thighs before licking a strip up your folds. You keened beneath him, arousal burning deep within you once more.

He sucked lightly on your clit, flicking his tongue across it sporadically until you were a writhing, mewling mess. You could feel his smile widening as his tongue slowly crept closer to your entrance. All at once he thrust his tongue inside you, his own groans rumbling into you, pushing you closer to climax once more. He devoured you, kissing, licking, sucking and biting at every inch of you. And once he was satisfied, he pressed his thumb to your clit rubbing soft circles as he continued thrust his tongue inside you. He worked you until your legs were shaking and you chanted his name like it was the only word you knew.

He looked up at you from between your thighs, a smirk adorned his lips as he pulled his goggles back into place. “That was…satisfactory?”

You gawked. “Exemplary, actually.”

He nodded, a hint of arrogance flashing in his eyes. He reached into his footlocker, pulling out a towel and began to clean you up.

“The others will be returning soon. You should get dressed. I’d prefer this,” he gestured toward your nude form, “be only for me.”

A soft giggle escaped your lips as you leaned in, kissing him softly. “It is. Only for you.”

Spicy Ragu For You: @secondaryrealm @sev-on-kamino @dystopicjumpsuit @mooncommlink @moonlightwarriorqueen @sunshinesdaydream @starrylothcat @starqueensside @mandos-mind-trick @multi-fan-dom-madness @808tsuika @msmeredithrose @trixie2023 @wolffegirlsunite @mythical-illustrator @wings-and-beskar @wizardofrozz @ladyzirkonia @eyeluvmusic21 @523rdrebel @idontgetanysleep @clonemedickix @littlemissmanga @sinfulsalutations @dickarchivist @eclec-tech @dreamie411 @flyiingsly @nobody-expects-the-inquisitorius @cw80831 @eternal-transcience-spice

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

WIBTA if I lied about having an allergy?

TW // emetophobia (I'm not sure if this is too dramatic, but just to be safe)

I have had a deep hatred of onions my whole life, and while I am not technically allergic to them, whenever I have one, it immediately causes me to gag or throw up. Unfortunately, they are a common cooking ingredient, and I usually have to request that family, friends, or restaurants make my meals without the onions.

The trouble is that my request is often ignored, and I have even had family members try to sneak onions onto my servings to see if I will notice (I always do) because they say the onions are "good for me." Most upsettingly, I have had onions added to meals like burritos that are not supposed to have onions at all according to restaurant ingredient lists. This has caused me to be suspicious of any meal given to me that I did not make, unless it is something that obviously would not have onions.

It is also quite aggravating to see the annoyance on people's faces when I have to clarify that no, I am not making a special request because I am allergic, but simply because I strongly dislike an ingredient.

I am tired of having to pick through my food to ensure that I will not suddenly become violently ill (though I usually feel better within the hour), and I have thought frequently about claiming that I am allergic, so people will take me seriously, but I am worried this will cause undue stress and extra effort to avoid cross-contamination. I also fear that this is belittling to people who do struggle with serious allergies.

WIBTA if I lied that I am allergic to avoid potentially getting sick, even if it requires extra effort from the chef?

What are these acronyms?

[boiohboii]

Our wedding menu (Lando Norris x reader)

When your friend leaves you to entertain yourself you decide to try something really new.

or

in which you wanted to have fun and a really handsome, curly haired british boy is your victim.

N.B: just a silly little drabble inspired by this video, hope you guys like it! WARNINGS: not proof read, spelling mistakes maybe? Also, don't do that in public, this is just for fun really. Let me know what you guys think!

masterlist

When people are bored they watch a movie, read a book or maybe go outside and look around. But you weren't feeling like doing any of those things, your friend has left you to go on a date and honestly you can't blame her, the guy was extremely handsome and so so polite, which is why you are currently sitting in a cafe doing what you do best- people watching.

There was an old couple sharing their lunch and smiling (they are what anyone dreams of, in Monaco with each other after however many years of marriages), there was an employee on the phone behind the counter probably arguing with someone by the movements in her hands and the chewing of her own lips, and there was a group of guys (fuck off, why are they so handsome) who you are pretty sure are famous- if the guys, girls and old rich people coming up every few minutes asking for photos and autographs weren't enough of a sign the billboards you've seen scattered around Monaco in your short visit of 4 out of these 9 guys (that's a big ass friend group) were confirmation of them being models at least (which adds up to these looks).

Now you weren't much of a jokester in front of strange people, especially not a group of 9 handsome guys, but hey life is all about trying new things which is why you decided it'd be fun to try and see what their reactions would be.

Standing up you rushed out of the cafe, was it a good idea? No. Did you have enough social energy to pull this off? No. Do you have enough confidence to talk to one handsome dude who is in the middle of his handsome friends? Also no. But none of that stopped you from going to the burger truck a few blocks down asking for 2 double cheeseburgers and 2 chocolate frosties. After taking your receipt you stood in line, waiting for your order.

"I love their variety so much! Everything is available"

"Yes! I am so happy that they have no meat options"

Oh shit. What if he's vegan!

Leaving your place in the line you went back to the cashier and ordered the most appealing name from their non meat menu.

After finally having your food in hand you went back the same way stopping in front of a flower shop, what flowers should you get? would he even accept the flowers? What if he's allergic to flowers?

Opening up Google you searched for the flowers that don't cause allergies, seeing roses on top of the list you decided to get a small bouquet of 4 roses before placing it carefully in your bag (in another zipper away from the food).

Entering the cafe for the 2nd time today you took a look around, extremely happy that the barista kept her word and made sure that all of the tables are taken and the only chair empty is besides the curly haired boy laughing at something his friends have said.

"Hi, I'm sorry to interupt but can I sit here?"

You asked as you looked around the table, upon seeing all of them looking at each other you explained further "it's just that there's no other chairs available, as soon as there is one I'll be gone, promise"

"Oh yes, of course, you can stay as long as you want"

The guy with green? or is it blue? eyes replied, while everyone else gestured for you to take a seat.

"Thank you," as you placed your bag you asked the one question that would decide if you should move on with whatever it was you were going to do "oh, sorry, do you have a girlfriend? I don't want to overstep or make any misunderstandings" you asked the victim of your plan, upon shaking his head you took a seat.

Sitting down you decided to start your plan, fishing the necklace out of the small zipper you turned to the boy sitting beside you holding the necklace between both of you

"Can you please do this for me? I can't reach"

All chatter around the table stopped, you can feel 9 pairs of eyes on you as you gave the boy a small, apologetic smile.

"Oh, uhh- yeah of course," ohhh, he's british, damn you might actually fall in love "let me just figure out how it works."

As he clasped the necklace together you thanked him, moving onto your next step which consisted of you bending down to get your mirror and your lipstick out of the bag, staying in your position you moved the bag a bit to the right before adjusting yourself a bit so that what you're doing would be noticed. Not bringing your mirror onto the table but still visible enough for the 9 guys to see you applying a new layer of lipstick, you can hear them questioning what you are doing and it just made you want to get up and run back to your hotel room.

You already started, no going back now.

Being satisfied with how the lipstick looked you placed it back in the bag before sitting properly, smiling at the blue eyed guy in front of you.

Waiting a bit so that the guy besides you isn't speaking to someone before you move onto the main plan.

Upon seeing him get his phone out you decided to go ahead, it's now or never

"We had a date, no?" you whispered to him as to not get the attention of his friends, at least not this soon.

The man blinked at you before looking around him, wanting to make sure you are talking to him "I'm sorry?"

Before he could even question you any further he saw roses within his eyesight

"These are for you," you pushed the bouquet into his frozen hands "hope it smells as good as you"

Red started covering his face, looking around at his friends, who quietened down as soon as they saw the red roses, searching for an explanation.

When you kept looking at him with that smile he let out a small thanks before smelling the flowers.

Okay, nice, so far so good, why is he so flustered oh my god, he's the cutest.

"Oh, I also bought burgers"

"I'm sorry, what is this about?"

"I also bought drinks, one is oreo and one is hershey, well it was supposed to be hershey kisses but they ran out so let me just," leaning over to him, you kissed his cheek "there you go, now you can take the hershey one"

The other 8 boys howled in laughter at the wide eyed, red faced boy staring at the drink in front of him on the table. He bite his lips, trying to prevent a smile from breaking out onto his face.

You decided to get your phone out and wait a bit before you moved on further with the plan, the group going back to their conversations while the brit besides you kept taking glances at you, thinking you wouldn't notice, but you did and you also noticed that he is not touching his burger, only drinking the frosty.

Dipping your hand into your bag you got out the other burger "that's a non meat burger, bought it just in case."

"Oh," he took the food from your hands, nodding his head in thanks "you didn't have to."

Giving him a full smile you went back to your phone, waiting for him to eat a bit of his sandwhich so you could make the next move. The way he gets flustered and shy makes you want to ask him out on an actual date, he is so fucking pretty.

"Do you like it?"

Nodding, he smiled at you as he gave you a thumbs up as he can't answer while chewing.

"I'm really glad, I was thinking about adding it to our wedding menu," the dark haired man sitting on the other side of the british boy choked onto his drink, looking at their group of friends wanting to make sure that he heard correctly "not as a main dish, more like a snack really."

The boy besides you shrugged, thinking about how a burger truck would look in a wedding.

"Mate, you better not forget my invite if you're gonna have burgers at your wedding."

[your-honor-im-zesty]

What do I deserve, really?

Will should've known better. He really should've.

When Nico had first mentioned the idea of a family dinner ("Persephone's just about dying to meet you, she'll turn me into a flower if you stay away any longer"), Will had been elated. It meant another significant step in their relationship; it meant they were becoming serious. Not to mention, he had always wanted to meet Hades. Call him weird, but he had a strange fascination with death. He was a medic, after all, and however much he studied and healed and learned, there were always surprises in store for him. Death was an infinite topic; Will would've gladly sat through a lyceum taught by Hades.

But now, as he sat at the dinner table in the Underworld king's palace, he wished he had just thrown his boyfriend under the bus and let him be turned into a flower.

It was just the four of them- Will, Nico, Hades, and Persephone. They each sat on one side of the long, rectangular wooden table, which would've been a nice table had there not been literal skulls hanging off the sides. Just his luck, he was seated all the way across from Nico.

He couldn't tell what was worse. Persephone's onslaught of rapid questions ("You're the camp medic, correct? The one for the past few years?" "Tell me, are children of Apollo allergic to lies? I've always wondered." "How did you and Nico meet?"), Hades's stony silence (the closest thing to conversation Will had made with him was a request to pass the salt, which he'd done with rather unnecessary force), or the amused glint in Nico's eyes as he watched the scene unfold. Will was very tempted to strangle him, except choking your boyfriend in front of said boyfriend's father was probably not the wisest move.

The only thing that kept Will remotely close to sane was the food. It may have been the Underworld, kingdom of the dead, but the food was spectacular. 5/5 stars. Hades truly didn't accept anything but the best.

He gulped. He hoped Hades would lower his standards for him; Will wasn't exactly the best, compared to other demigods. Like Percy Jackson, for one. But then again, Hades hated Percy with a vehement passion, so maybe that was all for the best.

But the dinner wasn't bad, per se. It was awkward, sure, and very much uncomfortable. But Will Solace was the master of uncomfortable. He was a veteran of 2 wars, had saved more campers than he would've ever dreamed of; he'd spent sleepless nights, working to aid injuries and prevent death. He could do uncomfortable.

At least, that was what he thought.

Hades signaled the skeleton waiter to take up their plates and prepare for the dessert course, then leaned towards Will. His eyes were dark, obsidian. Like Nico's, his mind thought unhelpfully.

"So...Will," Hades said his name slowly, like he was testing out the sound of it. It was probably just his nature, but Will got the strong impression that Hades had spent the appetizer and main dish courses analyzing him, sizing him up. Probably wondering why the hell Nico had even given him a second glance. "I understand you and my son have been...courting, for a while now."

Courting? Will bit his lip to hold back his laughter. It was such an old-fashioned term, yet Hades looked completely serious. "Yes, sir," he responded, trying to sound as amiable as possible. He schooled his features into an expression of utmost respect; across the table, Nico (the little shit) was smirking again. Will refused to make eye contact with him (first of all, Nico had absolutely NO business looking that good in his father's palace of all places).

Hades studied him, those dark eyes unnerving. It reminded him of how Nico first used to look at him- distrustfully, coldly. He involuntarily flinched.

The corner of Hades's mouth twitched at the movement. "I am sure you know by now that Nico has incredibly high standards."

"I do," agreed Nico- were they ganging up on him? A father-son duo? Gods, Will should've asked for Apollo to be invited; but then again, the sun god would probably rather be stripped of mortality again than step foot into the Underworld.

Will swallowed nervously and licked his lips; they were getting dry. Had he drank water today? He was supposed to stay hydrated; he of all people knew the dangers of dehydration. "Yes, sir," he said, almost hoarsely.

Hades leaned forward then, further this time. His eyes flashed. "Let me ask you something then..." There was something in his tone that incited a sliver of apprehension within Will's chest. Nico's face grew serious, like he, too could hear it.

"Do you believe you're worthy of my son?"

Nico stiffened up, his face flashing with unidentifiable emotions. Persephone's eyebrows shot up, and she gave her husband a look. Not surprised, but unimpressed, like she knew something along these lines would happen and disapproved.

Will felt a warm flush creep upon his face. He stared at Hades, stomach lurching unpleasantly. For some reason, his lips seemed to be sealed tight, and determined not to re-open.

"I..."

----------------

So this is part 1 of my angsty will + solangelo fic :))) i'll post part 2 prolly sometime this week lmao but until then enjoy this load of shit

edit: part 2 is up! check my blog :)

@wants-to-marry-sirius-black

[hunterofartemis7]

*bat family going out for dinner and inviting Raven*

Bruce: so where does everyone want to go?

Jason: let’s go to a Steak House!

Damian: you always say that!

Jason: and we never go cause you’re vegetarian!

Damian: find a steak place with vegetarian options and I’ll go!

Bruce: boys! Behave

Tim: why don’t we go to the Mexican place on Main?

Dick: no way! My insides still haven’t recovered!

Jason: not our fault you can’t handle spice

Duke: isn’t there a new restaurant down town

Selina: absolutely not. I just went with Ive and Harley and I am not subjecting my kids to that trash

Steph: what about Chinese?

Damian: Cass is allergic

Steph: shit i forgot! Sorry cass!

Cass: *signs* it’s okay

Bruce: *looks at Raven through the review mirror* Raven? You have any preference or some where specific you’d like to go?

Raven: *shakes head* I’m fine with anything really, I’m not picky

Jason: what about sea food!? There’s a place across from Di’Angelos and they have vegetarian options

Bruce: sounds good to me

Duke: me too

Dick: me three

Cass/steph/dami/tim/; works for me

Raven: *fidgeting with her hands*

Selina: Raven sugar, you okay?

Raven: yes, I’m fine..

Selina: okay

*pulls up to the restaurant*

Jason: finally! I can’t remember the last time I have sea food!

Damian: *opens the door for raven*

Raven: thank you, Dami. *gets out*

Damian: *notices she has an epi pen* what’s that

Raven:..my epi pen..

Bruce: why do you have an epi pen?

Raven: just in case…I go into anaphylaxis..

Jason: why would you go into anaphylaxis?

Raven:…*looks down*

Selina: wait are you allergic to sea food?!

Raven:….*nods*

Dami: what!? Habibti why didn’t you say something!?

Raven: because I didn’t want to be a bother…..since yall invited me out with you..

Bruce: raven speaking up about an allergy is not being a bother! That’s your health and that should always come first.

Tim: how bad is your allergy?

Raven:……

Tim: how bad?

Raven:..I’m already feeling sick and I’m not even in the building yet..

Jason: okay we’re leaving.

Dick: yeah we can go anywhere else. Heck there is an Italian place across the street.

Raven: y’all don’t have to do that.

Dami: Beloved your health is more important than some fucking fish

Steph: agreed.

Dick: And are you okay rn? Do you need some water or anything? You said you felt sick

Raven: no..no I’m okay

Dami: you sure? Cause we can get you some if your not feeling good

Raven: I’m okay..really.

Dick: if you say so..

Steph: Btw, do you do this often?

Raven: do what?

Steph: put your health last instead of speaking up?

Raven:……

Steph: I’ll take that as a yes

*everyone gets back in the car*

Dick: wait if you’re allergic to sea food, than what do you do when there’s a crab boil at the tower?

Raven: lock myself in my room and try not to vomit..or pretend to eat and keep my epi pen close..

Bruce: does Kori not know about this?

Raven:..no

Selina: why not?

Raven: cause I didn’t want to bother anyone with it..

Selina: *sighs* I’m calling her later

Raven: I’m sorry..

Dami: beloved you have nothing to apologize for. It’s okay

Raven: but everyone seemed so happy about sea food and I ruined it

Jason: girl no you didn’t. It’s okay

Raven: but—

Tim: no buts. Hey we can’t eat Chinese when Cass is around, and we keep it away from her at all times. we have no issues with that. And We have no problem doing the same for you.

Cass: *signs* yeah, your family now. We take care of each other

Raven:..🥹

Dami: *kisses her cheek* your stuck with us Beloved.

Jason: yeah. Now, let’s get some pizza!

[cherllyio]

Pigsy and MK, father/son scenarios, bc i am sucker for it.'

I have 4 scenarios in mind, so just scroll to whichever ones you find interesting

Also, if you wanna draw or use any of the scenarios in any way, im completly happy with that!

Just tag me, so i can reblog it and love it forever :)

Nuwa and Wukong suck at parenting, Pigsy is amazing at it.(listen i love Wukong being a dad to MK, but Pigsy is legit his dad)

Pigys' Parental Strengh

Flashbacks of Pigsy raising MK

Pigsy being scared Nuwa will take MK away form him

Scenario 1: "Nuwa and Wukong suck at parenting, Pigsy is amazing at it"

I really want a scene where Nuwa(for whatever reason) and Wukong are trying to be good parental figures towards MK. So they make him some food, bc nothing could possible go wrong with that, right?

Yea- they end up giving MK something he is deadly allergic to. So pigsy (who ofc knows this)has to save MK.

Example 2: "Parental strength".

So, lets say MK is battling this bad guy, right? But, he ends up pretty badly hurt, and it seems like he is about to loose. Yet, at the last second, Pigsys parental strength kicks into high gear, and he absolutly inalites the bad guy.

While yelling something along the line of: " DONT YOU DARE TRY TO HURT MY SON." (omg i would cry)

Scenario 3: "Flashback of Pigsy raising MK"

I just want a flashback of sort, where we see like Pigsy raising MK.

Taking MK to his first day of school

Making noddles together

Teaching MK how to drive

Pigsy putting MK to sleep

Signing the adoption papers

AAH! GOD IM CRYING AGAIN

Scenario 4: "Pigsy being scared Nuwa will take MK away from him"

This is the one i see as the most "plausible", and maybe something that could be devoted to an entire ep in season 5. Because:

Pigsy has just accepted MK as his son, and they are both so happy for it.

But now, Nuwa may come into the picture, and she is the closest MK has to a "biological parent", and that would terrify Pigsy.

So Pigsy would start to deny he is MK's dad again, accdently pushing him away. He just wants what is best for MK, and he thinks for MK to be happy he has to be with his "real parent".

"uuuh, kid you know im not your-"

Which would just confuse MK, because Pigsy is his REAL parent. He is the one who raised him, and has loved MK his whole life.

And how would Pigsy realise this? WITH THE HELP OF THE FLASHBACK SCENE I MENTIONED BEFORE, WOOOOOO.

(i just want a MK and Pigsy centered ep in season 5, please)

[crazylittlejester]

I’m gonna go on a crazy ass rant because I’m upset and also very tired

A huge reason as to why I characterize Warriors the way that I do, regarding his fear of being poisoned and his food anxiety, is a way to explain myself and my own anxieties caused by my allergies, because when I say to someone I don’t think I can eat the food at the party/function/their house EVEN IF it was specifically made to be free of my allergens, they just don’t understand why I can’t eat it. They just don’t understand that just because it’s ‘safe’ doesn’t mean I feel safe enough to eat it, because there’s always that lingering ‘What if’ in my mind that food made outside of my vision is contaminated somehow.

It is so HARD to explain to people the genuine fear that you are going to die because a food created an odd texture in your mouth and you gave yourself a panic attack over nothing. It breaks my heart every time I go to my friends house and her mom offers to make me food because I’ve been at her house for thirteen hours and haven’t eaten a meal with them, because even though she cleans everything and offers to let me watch her make it, there’s still this loud screaming voice in my mind saying that that food is not safe to eat. And it just NEVER goes away. I feel awful because her mom is so sweet and willing to help me, and I just can’t ever accept because I manage to convince myself it’s contaminated every time

I have been dealing with this for my entire life and never not once have I been able to get someone to understand what this feels like or seen it shown in a media form anywhere. I’ve had family and therapists both just tell me to get over myself, because I’m being ‘ridiculous’ and the craziest thing to me EVER is that for the first time in nineteen years, I have had an outlet to throw this frustration into. Warriors and the food issues I have given him are so important to me because for the first time in my life I can explain this fear through a character and even if people may not relate or really, truly get what it’s like, they understand. They understand and they recognize it as a valid fear, and it’s because of a fanfiction about a traumatized war hero. (which is INSANE to me that this is what it took for people to understand, but you know what, I’ll take it)

This rant was inspired because I opened a sealed container of ice cream and the allergen labels were incorrect and now I can’t eat it and I’ve wasted money and I’m so upset and it’s been a really long week, but also because I never saw anyone talking about this when I was a kid, and if I’d had someone there to represent me like this, or just be there for me to connect with, I would’ve felt a lot better. Understanding allergies and food restrictions is so important for so many reasons, the most important being that if you know how to help someone, you can save their LIFE. And for other people who feel the same way I do, it’s so GOOD to know you’re not alone and that there’s someone out there who gets what you’re dealing with

If I can make people understand what it’s like to live life this way, then that is so important to me. If I can explain to people what to do in an emergency situation because their friend is having a allergic reaction, I will, because not enough people understand how allergies work, and I’m sick and tired of hearing stories about kids with allergies who were peer pressured into eating when they didn’t feel comfortable and then suffering the consequences, and I am TIRED of seeing companies mislabel their fucking food.

Also do NOT be afraid to ask any friends or classmates or coworkers with allergies how to use an epi pen because You Could Save Their Life. If anyone is curious, I’LL tell you, or look up a youtube video I’m sure there are some on there

Anyways, this is why I give Warriors the food issues I do in my fics, for anyone else out there with allergies who’s ever felt invalidated by people telling them their anxieties were stupid, and so people who have no idea what it’s like to fear your food will kill you can try to understand that this is the irritating reality for some of your peers. (not that everyone with allergies has this exact experience, I have a friend with allergies who just eats whatever and prays it wont kill them, but I know now that there are plenty of people out there with allergies who DO have this experience)

Sorry for kinda ranting, (I’m just a little guy 🥺), but this is something that is so hugely important to me, and sorry Warriors but you had too similar of a problem so now you get my exact issues 🫶

[lisbeth-kk]

May Prompts (16) Experiment

The Luckiest Girl in the World (chapter 16) This chapter will make little sense if you haven't read chapter 15.

Summar: John tells the residents in 221B, Liwia included, what he experienced at work that day. Sherlock can barely keep his hands off John when he tells the tale...

Sixteen Years Old

It was clever of Liwia to turn to us for help the summer her grandparents visited London. After only a couple of days at home, she texted me one late evening that she couldn’t stand another minute in the presence of her prejudice family members. I told her to bring her belongings to school the next day, and that she could come to Baker Street with me that afternoon.

Papa’s reaction when I told him and Dad that Liwia was coming to stay later that day, earned him a stern look and rebuke from Dad.

“A bit not good, Sherlock!”

“What? It is an experiment having an outsider living with us. It’s never happened before. How will the dynamic change? Do we have to provide different kinds of food? Is she allergic? How’s her sleeping patterns? It’s fascinating, John!”

Dad threw his arms in the air and gave up further pestering, while I tried to hide my smile, quite unsuccessful.

***

It all turned out just fine, though. Dad and Papa welcomed Liwia warmly, and I was thankful that they didn’t add fuel to the fire by telling her about their own experiences with bigotry, but instead asked about school, her lacrosse matches, Polish food, travelling and her girlfriend, Bella. Liwia wisely declined the proposal of a game of Cluedo. 

(I must ask her someday if she’s still traumatised after witnessing me and Dad fighting over Scrabble.)

***

When the tables turned, Dad was in the middle of it by just being his wonderful self. He was at work and had said his goodbyes to his last patient for the day when he heard raised voices from the waiting area. A male voice sounded threatening, or maybe accusatory. It worried him that Sarah was alone out there, so he stepped out of his office to investigate.

An elderly man, holding his left arm to his chest with his other arm, was crimson in the face with anger and pain. He was accompanied by a familiar man Dad realised was Liwia’s father. The latter tried to reason with the man, who only could be Liwia’s grandfather, in Polish, but he was brusquely cut off with what sounded like a command. Dad recognised a military man when he saw one, straightened his back and went into battle like the brave man he was.

“What seems to be the problem, Sarah?” Dad inquired and looked sharply at the two men in front of her.

A relieved sigh escaped her, and she breathed his name reverently.

“John, this gentleman…”

Said “gentleman” interrupted angrily.

“No woman. Want real doctor. Man,” the elderly man spat.

It was time to bring in the heavy artillery, Dad thought. 

“Rank?” he commanded.

“Kapral,” the man said instinctively.

“Corporal, I am Captain John H. Watson, also a real doctor. My office. Now!” he ordered, turned on his heel after the other man had saluted him, not without effort due to his injured arm, and marched back to his office with a satisfied smirk on his face.

***

“Get a grip, Papa,” I scoffed after Dad had told us the story.

He all but drooled and I could see his fingers itched to grab on to Dad to snog him senseless. For once, he had the decency to refrain, presumably out of courtesy for our guest.

“You gave Dziadek a lecture in why women are as capable and valuable as men?” Liwia asked incredulously.

“I did,” Dad said matter-of-factly. “Asked him what his mother would’ve thought of his behaviour towards Sarah, linking it to you while I was at it. I took a chance there, but quite a few men of his generation, put their mothers on a pedestal, and they’re also terrified of them, which proved to be correct.”

“You’re a wonder, John,” Papa beamed and couldn’t resist any longer, but gave Dad a searing kiss.

I rolled my eyes, but Liwia just looked dreamily at the two men. She told me later that she was in awe over how freely they showed their love for each other.

***

The next day, we were all in for quite the surprise. Nana called upstairs that we had visitors. Liwia and I were watching Pride and Prejudice, Papa was tidying up the kitchen table after an experiment, and Dad was in the shower.  

When Liwia’s father and grandfather stood in the doorway, she froze, I stopped the film, and Papa emerged from the kitchen to greet our visitors.

“What are you doing here?” Liwia whispered to her father.

“Your Dziadek wants to apologise,” he retorted. “And to meet Rosie and…”

“Dzień dobry,” Papa greeted in Polish and extended his hand to the elderly man.

He looked sceptically up at Papa, who towered over the smaller man. Eventually his good manners won, and he shook Papa’s hand. Papa and Liwia’s father shook hands as well, and that’s when Dad turned up.

“Hello, again,” he said casually, as if it was a frequent occurrence to have his former patients visiting.

“Captain. Doctor,” Liwia’s grandfather stuttered quite bewildered. “Who sick?”

“No one, I hope,” Dad answered and snaked his hand around Papa’s waist. “I live here.”

***

Miracle of miracles; that encounter changed everything, so in the autumn of my sixteenth year, Liwia and I went to Poland with her parents to visit her grandparents. They apparently considered me family now. 

A big party was planned because of our visit, and their flat was filled to the brim with people. In the kitchen, Liwia’s grandmother, her sisters and Liwia’s mother cooked all sorts of Polish delicacies. They were loud and cheerful and constantly made me taste the different sauces, ragus and soups. I just knew a few words in Polish, but it didn’t seem to bother them that I was unable to understand most of what they were telling me.

The entire affair was casual, chaotic, and vibrant. It was the next best party I’d ever been too. Dad and Papa’s wedding topped that list obviously.

***

Our visit to Auschwitz and Birkenau the next day, stood in stark contrast to that joyous day, but that’s life for you. Filled with all sorts of different emotions and experiences.

Also available on AO3

@calaisreno @totallysilvergirl @keirgreeneyes @helloliriels @raina-at

Further tags in the replies

[feelbokkie]

When you have food allergies

☀️Feelbokkie M.list☀️

genre: fluff, slight angst, sick!fic?

pov: 2nd person

description: different ways boyfriend!skz would react to you having food allergies (aka, feelbokkie has a lot of food allergies and is feeling delulu so here you go)

pairing: bf!skz x reader

warnings: 2 swear words

word count: 1,524

©feelbokkie (2023) — all rights reserved. reposting/modification of any kind is not tolerated.

방 찬 (Bang Chan)

for the most part, he knows that you can manage your allergy on your own, you have been dealing with it way longer than you've known him

but that doesn't mean that he doesn't worry

he made you leave one of your epipens at the dorm when you first started dating

little did you know, he actually carries is around with him when the two of you go on dates

likes sharing his food with you so he will purposely order things that he knows you can eat

he gets worried when you two are out to eat and you order something that normally is made with the thing you're allergic to and you have to tell the waiter to make sure the chef leaves it out

so much so that when your food arrives he plays around asking if he can taste the first bite so that way he can check if they actually removed the ingredient

you know he loves food so you thought he was being cute about it until the first time he tasted it and they forgot to remove the ingredient

"how is it?" "it's good, but you can't eat that." "what? why?" "they gave you the normal one by mistake."

이 민 호 (Lee Min-Ho)

as much as he pretends your allergies don't bother him, they do

not in the sense that he's bothered by you having them but that there are so many things you can't eat that he knows you would like

so, he takes it upon himself to find ways to substitute those ingredients and makes all the things you normally can't eat

got the idea after the two of you went on a date at a restaurant and they told you that they couldn't substitute the ingredient in a meal you were excited to try

"what do they mean they can't substitute it? they're chefs, that's literally their job." "Min, it's fine. i'm used to it." "you shouldn't have to be."

surprised you the next night with the meal you wanted to eat

tries to play it off like he just happened to have all the ingredients and wanted to cook

in reality he was up all night researching the best substitutes that wouldn't mess too much with the flavor

now, whenever the two of you go out, he takes notes on his phone of all the meals you were unable to eat so he can recreate a safe version for you at home

서 창 빈 (Seo Chang-Bin)

it's simple for him: you can't eat something, neither can he

no matter how many times you tell him that he doesn't have to restrict his diet just because you can't eat certain foods

you even try to bargain with him, saying that he can eat all those foods when you're not around

but this man is stubborn and will just continue to avoid those foods altogether

got tired of explaining to everyone else that you're the one allergic and he just doesn't want to eat it

so it's not just your (singular) allergy anymore, it's your (plural) allergy

"Oh yeah, we're allergic to--" "we??"

you thought it was kind of cute how he was trying to be careful

but you know it also has to be a hassle for him

"Bin, you know you don't have to stop eating the things you like just because i can't." "but then how am I supposed to kiss you if i've been eating them?"

yn.exe has stopped functioning

황 현 진 (Hwang Hyun-Jin)

it stresses him out how "reckless" you are with your allergies sometimes

like how you'll still eat something even if the allergen warning on the package says that it "may contain" your allergen or was "processed in a factory" where your allergen is used

or how you don't wipe down the table when you two go somewhere to eat

he will go to the store and be there for hours reading over all of the snacks he thinks you might like and get frustrated for you

if you guys are going out to a fancier place, he'll go ahead and call them to ask if they could prepare a special table for you and a set of utensils away from everything else

if you're going to somewhere more local, he'll wipe down the table himself

He's even gotten you into the habit of carrying around your own utensils to lower the risk of cross contamination

he even bought you two a matching set

he will cause a scene if your food ends up having the food you're allergic to in it

"Hyunjin, calm down." "What do you mean 'calm down?' That's attempted murder!" "I can tell you ten different ways that it's not."

한 지 성 (Han Ji-Sung)

stressed out part 2

especially with how nonchalant you are with your allergy

like when you're ordering, you don't tell the waiter it's because you have an allergy when you ask if they can have the chefs cook your food separately

or if the thing you're allergic to finds its way on your plate, you try to eat around it

please, do not do this, just get a new plate

"y/n..." "it's fine, Ji." "no it's not. here at least switch plates with me."

purposely orders food that don't have whatever your allergic to so you can swap plates if you need to

wants to cause a scene everytime it happens though but doesn't for your sake unless it's really bad

he's not sure what would kill you faster, you eating the thing you're allergic to or the embarrassment

will leave a nasty review on yelp though 10/10 times even if he did cause a scene

이 용 복 (Lee Felix Yong-Bok)

will go out of his way to cook safe foods for you part 2

but not just foods, desserts too

will permanently alter all of his recipes to suit you so he doesn't get into the habit of cooking with them

has a special set of tupperware just for you that he can say with certainty have never been contaminated with your food allergen

Even hand washes them with a sponge that's also allergen free

often goes to cook or bake at your place because he knows it's a guaranteed safe zone

doesn't eat the thing(s) you're allergic to if he knows for sure he's not going to see you

which means no spontaneous visits from you 🙃

will also check your food for you when you're out but is more direct about it

"poison check" "please stop saying that when you taste my food, people are going to worry and we're going to get kicked out." "is it not the same as you ingesting poison?" "yeah, but--" "so poison check it is! your foods safe by the way."

김 승 민 (Kim Seung-Min)

will bully you relentlessly about it

like, "damn, you would not have survived natural selection if a singular nut can take you out."

he only jokes about it to hide the fact that he's worried about you accidentally eating your allergen

makes sure to deep clean the kitchen and every surface that any of the boys may have eaten off of when you come over to visit

gets mad if one of his roommates goes into the kitchen to make something to eat after he just cleaned

he even gave them a warning saying that he was cleaning because you were coming over

and you know he's just cleaned because you've seen the dorm while video chatting with Seungmin

you know that Seungmin, Felix, Jeongin, and Minho are the neater members of skz, but they're not that clean

keeps a set of utensils and dishes in a box in his room just for you so that the other boys don't accidently use it and contaminate it

tries to play it off like he doesn't care but you know he does

양 정 인 (Yang Jeong-In)

he's so clumsy that he worries that he's going to accidentally kill you

refuses to cook a single thing for you in case he puts in your allergen somehow

he's even wary of heating up food for you if you ask him, but he'll do it nervously

read up on allergic reactions so he could watch out for warning signs in case he does accidentally poison you

freaked out when he got to the part about anaphylactic shock

proceeded to watch several videos about epipens and what do do if someone is having an allergic reaction

when you first started dating one of the first questions he always asked you when you guys see each other is if you have you have your epipen

one time for fun, you decided to say no to see what would happen

"what do you mean you don't have it? let's go get it," "In, i'm joking, it's right here" "that wasn't funny"

knows what to do in case you don't have it

watches you while you eat to make sure you're not about to, you know, die

panics anytime you start choking on your food thinking to himself this is it, don't fuck up

but he doesn't coddle you in a way that's annoying, you know he only does it because he loves you

has calmed way the fuck down over time

—

Buy me a coffee?

—

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[hrts4hanniehae]

clutch || one

there are written parts :)

the good thing about being a game streamer was that when you were famous, your salary was kind of high. the bad thing was that the streaming platform wonwoo uses... started taking a huge cut of his earnings, leading him to this situation.

voice call

"okay to be honest, wonwoo, you were kind of stupid in the sense that you didn't buy your house but rented instead."- mingyu

"2 years ago, i was broke, mingyu. i just finished university and needed a place big enough for me and seollie. this place was very cheap for the amount of space." - wonwoo

"can't you buy this place outright? you have the money... right?" - mingyu

"my streaming platform started taking 30% of my earnings. and the building's owner changed, so there was a rent increase. it'll take me a long time to buy this apartment outright. by the time i can, i'll be in debt." - wonwoo

"so a roommate!" - mingyu

"why can't you be my roommate?" - wonwoo

"i already bought myself a place. plus your apartment is really far from my restaurant." - mingyu

"so how do you come by every morning to cook me food?" - wonwoo

"my restaurant is only open for dinner. i'm a celebrity chef, wonwoo. if it was open the whole day, i wouldn't get any rest. anyways, talk to the girl. she may be quite a good roommate for you." - mingyu

"sure..." - wonwoo

she fixed her hair and checked her face in her camera again. this was her 5th try at apartment hunting. when her ex-boyfriend decided to cheat on her and steal her studio apartment, she lost many things. apparently, no one liked rooming with an artist because they were "messy" and may dirty the apartment.

"i swear if this guy rejects me i have no options left... please oh my god PLEASE let me stay here... don't screw up the interview..."

"yn ln?"

mind you, she had never seen her potential roommate's face before and she definitely did not expect someone of MODEL STANDARDS to be calling her name.

"jeon wunwoo?"

"wonwoo. jeon wonwoo."

ah... i've already screwed up.

"oh i'm so sorry..."

"it's fine. come on up."

she's funny... who the hell monologues out loud?

"so these will be your rooms. they're connected by the closet." - wonwoo

"i get two rooms?" - yn

"don't you need space to do your art?" - wonwoo

"oh. oh yea. thank you." - yn

"oh yea. i also have a dog, seollie. she's my family dog. i hope your not allergic." - wonwoo

"i'm not. I love dogs!" - yn

"that's good. also, there's only one bathroom so please remember to knock before entering." - wonwoo

"ah okay. wait but i thought we were having an interview. you're showing me around as if you've already decided i'm moving in." - yn

"are you not?" - wonwoo

"oh i am?" - yn

"i prefer to deal with things quickly. this roommate idea was my friend's, not mine. so i would really rather the first "candidate" be the last." - wonwoo

"i have no complaints. when can i move in? i promise i'll be out of here by the end of next year." - yn

"we have a deal. you can move in starting tomorrow." - wonwoo

"any roommate rules or do we draft that out tomorrow?" - yn

"... tomorrow." - wonwoo

"great. thanks. I'll be back tomorrow with my stuff." - yn

ฅ^•ﻌ•^ฅ

a/n - i screw up the tweet dates A LOT so please just ignore them most of the time okay... I don't like the dates either but my app doesn't let me remove them also i'm assuming seollie is a sheepadoodle and a female and i'm so sorry if i'm wrong but there's too little info on wonwoo's family dog to be accurate.

synopsis: wonwoo is a popular streamer known for his incredible gaming skills and good looks. He turned heads. but he hates the attention. he just wants to play games and earn money. one day he receives a letter. his apartment’s rent has almost doubled. no warnings at all. his current paycheck from streaming can’t shoulder those bills. he has no choice but to rent out his spare room. to who? a fresh art university graduate who has… 1. a stable job ✅ 2. talent for art and sculpting ✅ 3. many friends ❌ 4. social anxiety ✅ 5. no filter ✅ when his iconic cat logo gets copystriked, she comes to the rescue with a new logo for him. when his apartment’s walls start peeling, she fixes it. whatever he used to struggle with… the empty space... was now filled by her. so what does he *last player standing* do when her ex *enemy spotted* tries to take her back? heh. *clutch* he clutches.

inspired by wonwoo's gam3bo1 streams, falling into your smile & gogo squid (has hints of valorant)

pairing: streamer!jeon wonwoo x fem!artist!reader (ft. jeongcheol, soonhoon, junhao, seoksoo, verkwan)

genre: fluff, comfort, slowburn, comfort, pining, bestfriend!minghao

warnings: stalker ex, toxic ex, mentions of abuse, guns (game), cursing, hate comments, panic attacks

started: 28.12.23 ended: ?

taglist: join from my masterlist

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