#so my mom suggested i get the audio books

[potter-inthe-tardis]

A hear me out, unironic bop!

I'm rewatching the series of unfortunate events show, and I remembered this song from my childhood, so I had to go look it up, and yes it's still a bop!

[labyrynth]

i know this sounds crazy but. get this.

sometimes…with visual media…you do have to actually LOOK at it. sometimes…they put Important things in the visuals (because it is visual media) that you will Miss if you’re only glancing up once a minute.

sometimes you just have to suck it up and actually WATCH the thing instead of listening to a visual medium.

[dropthedemiurge]

Time of Fever (Donghee/Hotae story recap) #1

Since this movie (Unintentional Love Story's spinoff, prequel about Hotae and Donghee) is currently shown only in cinemas in Korea, I went and watched it :D And for people who don't mind spoilers or want to know what's their story without waiting until it becomes available and translated online, I wrote a recap!

It turned out to be... uhh... quite lengthy so I'll make several posts or comments :] Let me know if you want to be tagged in them!

Disclaimer: I'm putting everything under 'read more' so people won't catch spoilers accidentally! Screenshots are from the trailer, I put them along the scenes I described. Disclaimer #2: I'm not fluent in Korean (especially listening to it by-ear) and some characters had accents/satoori so some details can be missed. But I tried my best to write down what I was definitely sure about :D I'm re-listening to my audio recording so it won't be that far away from truth.

Enjoy!

Hotae is standing outside, dressed in a suit, looking far away as kids shout around. The camera pans out, and it's revealed he's dressed in a funeral-attending suit (seems like his father has died). The kids' ball rolls to his feet, and they ask Hotae to pass them the ball back. Hotae leads the ball and plays the football with kids, starting to smile.

Hotae moves to the big cottage-like house with backyard and peach trees where his mom (and also Donghee) has been living. He is eager to rush into the house, calling out 'Hyung!' but Donghee isn't at home. Hotae is looking at all the old shelves, childhood books and sport trophees. 

He texts Donghee "Hyung, I arrived! When are you coming?". Donghee hasn't responded but he was coming after school, hesitantly walking along the house outer wall. Hotae notices him and sneaks to hide in bushes, jumping over and surprising him. I think they haven't seen each other for 2(?) years. They bicker a little. Then Hotae says: "Hyung, you haven't changed at all". Donghee replied with: "You grew up well, Go Hotae."

Their moms are chatting and suggesting Hotae goes to Donghee's school, while Hotae is taking out books outside and Donghee is studying inside the house. They steal glances at each other through the window.

Donghee and Hotae go through school's gates, Donghee is grabbed by a friend and Hotae is stopped by the guard (because of his improperly looking uniform). Then we're at the swimming pool, Hotae is in the team, getting scolded along with other late students. The head(?) of the team is Donghee's friend who said Hotae better be working hard, if he wasn't Donghee's younger bro (not specified meaning sibling or just junior) they would've kicked his ass. Hotae bites back that he's not Donghee's younger bro.

Donghee came home late, Hotae was waiting for him. He speaks to Donghee very informally and disrespectfully, 'You know what hour it is? Don't you hear me? Hey, Kim Donghee!' Donghee: "Are you out of your mind? Why aren't you calling me hyung?".

Hotae asks Donghee if he got 1st place in competition and says that he has to also earn 1st place then. He asks Donghee to come see him, even if it's just evaluation and not competition. Donghee responds that he'll come see Jisoo (his friend on the swimming team), Hotae is annoyed. "Say it once again! Who you'll come to see?! - Yoo Jisoo. - Again. - Who?>:(( - Aaah damn it, fine. You, I'll come to see you, happy?" Hotae is, indeed, happy and promises to get 1st place.

The swimming competition starts, Hotae starts well but fails. Donghee's standing outside waiting. Jisoo comes to him offering to come get some food, but Donghee declines. Jisoo's like ah, you're waiting for your guy, alright.

Donghee goes to search for Hotae. Hotae is sitting near the wall in his swimming suit, towel on his shoulders and head, he's trembling while crying. Donghee sits in front of him and says: "Wow, you're really ugly :D Get up, let's go grab some food. No? Alright, just cry out as much as you can then. I won't tell anyone."

They walk back home down the train road, lit up by the sunlight. Hotae: "Aah the sun is so bright, my eyes hurt." Donghee: "Isn't it because you cried so hard?" Hotae: "No!>:(" They bicker a little, and Donghee laughs at Hotae's face expression again. Meanwhile, Hotae was emotional but now he's in awe because there is someone watering bushes behind Donghee, and there are droplets of water and bright warm sun, and Donghee looks so beautiful. They walk back home together.

Hotae watches his mother dot on Donghee as he leaves home again. Hotae follows Donghee and discovers he's often staying in the old art workshop schoolroom. There are old drawing easels and canvases, books everywhere and two plaster busts. Hotae wanders around and tries to peek into sketchbooks, Donghee rushes to him and grabs the dark blue sketchbook out of his hands, scolding him not to open it.

(screenshot not from this scene but this is the view of that school art studio~)

Hotae discovers some book lying around and opens up to read it. It's a story about man turning into an insect (I didn't see the cover but I can safely guess it's "The Metamorphosis" by Franz Kafka?). Hotae is confused what kind of story is this. Donghee is like "If one day I get turned into an insect, (will you still love me) am I Kim Donghee or am I an insect?". Hotae is still confused about his question and the book.

Hotae falls asleep, napping in the studio while Donghee studies. Donghee walks away without him but slams the door loudly so Hotae wakes up and runs after him. It's raining outside, they are covering their head with hood (H) and backpack (D). In the middle of rain pouring, Hotae stops giving any fucks and spreads his arms, shoving his face under the rain. Donghee looks at him, smiles and does the same. They both enjoy the pouring rain and play in it, until they run to hide in the tunnel.

Hotae laughs, they remember their childhood. Donghee asks why Hotae doesn't call him "hyung". Hotae doesn't answer but comes to him and helps squeeze out the water from his orange fluffy sweater. Romantic mood, cue~

The rain turns into thunderstorm when they are already home. They sleep next to each other on different futons. Donghee's back is turned to Hotae, he's facing the window. He's trembling under the blanket. We get flashback to an angry man (his dad) punching and hitting Donghee to the ground amidst lightning and thunder.

Hotae stirs up and asks whether he's cold or scared. Donghee tells him to just go to sleep, but Hotae refuses. Then he's like 'aah whatever, move!', gets up and lies right next to Donghee (back to him). After a while, Donghee turns and scoots closer, clasping his shirt in his fingers, asking Hotae not to mind it.

Hotae asks: "You weren't like this before, what happened? - Everything changes, so I have changed too." Donghee almost noses into him. Hotae feels the breath from his lips on his back, gets shivers and remembers it next morning as well.

They sit on a porch of the house, Donghee brought Hotae some cut up tomatoes to eat. Hotae whines that it's too hot. He grabs tomato, bites in it and the drop of juice escapes down his arm. Donghee fixates on it and reaches out to wipe it with his fingers. Hotae freaks out about it, gets a bit rude and leaves.

He's swimming in the pool alone, full of thoughts about Donghee that obviously bother him. There's a random girl who meets him after his practice, she confesses to Hotae and asks him out. Hotae: "Well, alright".

They walk together, but Donghee was playing basketball and now is going home. Hotae tells the girl he'll be leaving and runs to Donghee, putting an arm around his back that Donghee says to keep to himself. Girl, frustrated, yells after him. Donghee is confused but Hotae tells him not to mind it and offers to go grab some food.

Days go by, Donghee keeps texting Hotae to help him with something (like 'buy some eggs on the way home', or 'bring me earphones' etc), Hotae ditches his new girlfriend because of "urgent thing", and rushes home with eggs.

Donghee is cooking and is surprised to see his face (there is a small wound). We learn that girlfriend cursed at Hotae and slapped him for not giving her any attention and constantly ditching her. Hotae says it's nothing, he just broke up with his girlfriend. "Why? - Because I bought eggs. - What even is this…" 

Donghee walks home from school, he sees Hotae and goes to him happily but Hotae's with another girl who confesses to him and asks to become her boyfriend, and Hotae once again says "Alright then". Donghee is upset.

He returns home late, and Hotae yells at him because he was worried and Donghee wasn't responding to any texts, yet he was holding a phone in his hand (idk why but he had two in the movie xD). They bicker again about Hotae addressing him impolitely. "- Ya! (Hey) - Ya? Ya?! Hey, are you really not calling me hyung, you–"

Hotae looks at Donghee. "I can't (call you hyung). I won't!"

He walks away from him, but after awhile stops and turns back. "Go faster!" He returns and grabs him by the wrist, dragging him towards the house. Donghee smiles. Even when he tells Hotae to take his hand away, Hotae won't.

[to be continued–]

[sunbearsophia]

Sorry again for how few and far in-between my Tumblr posts are, guys! I'll try and be more frequent with them!

It hit me a while back that for all I talk about my Next-Gen on Twitter, I hardly ever talk about my fan kids here on Tumblr! So, I decided to throw together a ref sheet for my main girl, Emmy, to get started on that and introduce her to y'all!

---

Her full name is Emilia Luna-Ophelia Barrabas-Darling, but almost everyone calls her Emmy for short. She was named after her late grandmother on Eduardo's side, although Laurel was actually the one who suggested it when she was born. (Eduardo absolutely cried when she suggested it, not that he wasn't already sobbing lol.) Her middle names were each chosen by one of her parents. (Luna for Eduardo, Ophelia for Laurel bc her mummy's a Shakespeare geek and we love her for it aaaaa.)

Probably 21 in the reference, definitely college-aged!

Working in retail currently to pay the bills, but saving up to attend art school when she gets the chance, wants to work as a background artist in animation.

Is generally a really friendly and outgoing person, extremely open with her personality, interests and affection, much like her mom. KNOWN for her hugs that could throw out someone's back, just generally really kind and chill, basically a big ol' puppy lady. She's also pretty stubborn and abrasive, however, and does have a temper on her, however. Aside from just generally getting grumpy when she's tired, exhausted or frustrated, she is just as willing to throw some HANDS when someone's pissed er off, just like her old man.

A pretty artsy-fartsy kinda gal, but not so much a snob about art, more like she'll happily ramble about art techniques and history when the subject is brought up. Also has a love for dancing, sports and Shakespeare.

Is extremely close with her family, she adores her Mummy Laurel and is a MASSIVE Daddy's Girl for Eduardo, she never misses the chance to see and spend time with them, and always wants to make them proud. (Her dad was her inspiration to start drawing when she was little, and always thinks of Eduardo and Laurel both as her heroes.) Also loves her little brother Leonardo, and is very protective of him, mess with him you mess with HER. >:(

Also loves her Uncle Mark and Uncle Jon with all her heart, they basically were third and fourth parents to her ever since she was a baby and she knows she can always go to them for anything. Very close to her other uncles, too, but out of all of them, she's closest to Jon and Mark. Also loves her Grandmado, and misses her terribly as an adult.

Has ADHD and dyslexia, so she often uses word processors and audio books to help with the latter and tends to plan and schedule her days in advance and stick heavily with routines to avoid losing focus with the former. Still has her struggles but knows she's supported and loved by those around her and is too stubborn to let them win.

Loves avocados, just like her dad. It was one of her first words, and to this day, her and her dad have a designated day all for eating avocados all throughout. (HC BY THE AWESOME @tamaraskabr ITS SO WHOLESOME I LOVE IT QwQ) Other than that, she loves basically anything mint chocolate, she's a simple woman lol.

---

All the tidbits I've got for now! Plan to follow up the post with some sketches of her other outfits I've worked on! For now, hope this gives some insight on who she is so I can share more art of her on here with context!

she's my goober daughter and i love her sm lol

[goodnightmemes]

TIKTOK SENTENCE STARTERS PART 7

some of these are quotes from tiktok creators, and some are from various other forms of media that were popular audios/trends on tiktok

❛ I’ve slept with like 1/3rd of them. Some would call me a groupie. I would also call me a groupie. ❜

❛ What do you think about Celine Dion? Are you just done with her? ❜

❛ We can as a family just scroll through Grindr. ❜

❛ Oh no, someone’s driving by. Get small. ❜

❛ Is my butt juicy yet? I’m really looking for some instant gratification. ❜

❛ I can’t even control my emotions, how am I supposed to control a machine? ❜

❛ Who airdropped Markiplier!Jesus at the Shrek rave?! ❜

❛ The best way to get back at someone who wronged you is to live a happy life. But chemically I can’t do that. So I’m gonna fuck his dad. ❜

❛ I send my best emails unmedicated. ❜

❛ The mothman stole my catalytic converter in Point Pleasent, West Virginia. ❜

❛ Bigfoot ate all the bottles out of my recycling bin and called my mom a slut. ❜

❛ The chupacabra keeps stealing packages off my front porch and sending my wife suggestive text messages.  ❜

❛ I don’t trust your physical therapist because she also said you move your hands like this and you get rid of ghosts.

❛ I see Gods law not as a restriction but as a challenge. Now give me the ranch! ❜

❛ Satan will have to dig deeper just to hold me! ❜

❛ We may be low income but we’re not low in c*m. ❜

❛ He says he only hangs out with you because there are more spiders in your house than average.  ❜

❛ I am the silliest of enemies to have. I will make powerpoints disparaging your character, and I will keep this bit going for a minimum of five years. ❜

❛ I will not be silenced by the mailman. ❜

❛ If God didn’t want me to commit fatherless behavior he should have given my mother better taste in men. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have things to do. ❜

❛ Bro, they bell peppered downtown. Bro. They bell peppered it. How could you bell pepper my downtown? Bro, they bell peppered me. Dude, I got bell peppered. ❜

❛ When you’re sitting there mixing ice cream into ramen you can’t help but think “what if this is a prank? what if they put that there just to see if they can get me to eat it?” ❜

❛ Here’s the thing: future me? Rich. I believe in her. That bitch is wealthy. Current me? Broke, but I’ve got free time and I’m healthy-ish. So I’m booking trips to faraway places on that bitches credit card, and I am / will be my own sugar mama. ❜

❛ It seems like nobody wants to dabble in the dark arts anymore. It’s all candle spells and rosemary. ❜

❛ The other day I tripped over a lemon hex and dislocated one of my chakras. Thank god for those Reiki healing classes I took at the YMCA. ❜

❛I just don’t understand this younger generation of witches anymore. I mean, if you’re not in a cemetery after midnight summoning the spirits of your dead ancestors to seek vengeance on your landlord for raising the rent, then what are you doing? ❜

[where-does-the-heart-lie]

Boy, I love that Wonderland AU, I wonder who is who in that au as well, like- other characters too.

But YAAAAAS Sabo Mad Hatter was always on my mind when I think about Sabo!!! And Mouse Garp is epic

Im glad you like it, im getting a kick outta it too :)

However, I am having issues with figuring out who would be who :(

I dont know if i want to make it like an alabasta arc thing since i made vivi Alice? Or maybe like,,, only straw hats? I dont want the character pool to be so narrow though :/

Listening to an audio book of the original story kinda only made it harder. Cuz as much as i love mouse Garp & luffy and bunny ace, it wouldve been so much better if i made *luffy* the March hare, and Ace the Dormouse. Cuz like then i could make Garp the white rabbit, and then have the heart court the marines. Also, the dormouse keeps falling asleep in the story, and that would work better with what Ace got goin on!

So im gonna try to crowd source the other roles

Here ye here ye

If anyone has any ideas on who i could make who, please tell me, im dyin over here

Queen of hearts- Big Mom ( suggested by@eternalreverie-sabostan)

King of Hearts- Kaido (also suggested by @eternalreverie-sabostan)

White rabbit- Usopp (suggested by @flute-of-pan)

Caterpillar- kizaru (suggested by @randomrandomblog-blog )

Knave of hearts- jinbei (suggested by @feare98-blog)

If you can think of any other AIW characters, feel free to add

Tweedle dee and tweedle dum- zoro and sanji (suggested by @braindeadmaggot)

Anyway, Thanks for the ask!

[starfish-sonnyangel]

introducing, for the first time online since i starting thinking abt this in 2020, drumroll please: my personal hc for auri's sisters name is Callisto (Callie) Mei-Huang O'Malley. take a seat, get comfy, put on a good playlist, let me explain. in the books we're given most of her name, 'callie o'malley'. but to me callie feels like too much of a nickname, it feels too informal. knowing that auri also went primarily by a nickname instead of her full name, aurora, makes me think the same went for callie. their parents are both very space-inclined people, and i feel like they'd keep the cosmic-themed names going (aurora borealis, callisto - jupiter's second largest moon and the third largest moon in our solar system, you can see where im going w this). i think callie neverrr used callisto except on paperwork n official stuff, she used callie exclusively to the point where the only people who actually called her by her birth name was her mom when she got in trouble. i think she wouldn't love the name since its so distinct and kinda uncommon but it would have some deep meaning to her parents so she'd never complain abt it to them. for her first name i kinda went between cassiopeia, calypso, celestia, but in the end i think callisto fits the best.

i also kept the middle name pattern going, staying true to my internal linguistics nerd something interesting i noticed is the first part of auri’s middle/chinese name is Jie, and in mandarin chinese the word for eldest sister is jiějie (姐姐). i doubt this is intentional on the author’s part, but going with that trend mèimei (妹妹) means younger sister in mandarin, therefore i present you with Mei-Huang. (Huang (黃) on the other hand i didnt have a deep reason for i just chose it bc it sounded pretty lmao). last thing that i found kinda funny is according to my top sources (aka google.com) the name Jié (杰) means ‘heroic, prominent, outstanding person’ which is pretty fitting for auri lol. also important to note that Jié and Jiě would be pronounced differently, here’s my fav website for audio examples of the pronunciation (https://www.chinese-word.com/voice/00jie.html). anyways please let me know if you have any questions, comments, ideas, critiques, suggestions! i am open to all of the above and anything else yall would like to add. *walks away*

[supersabbatical2024]

4/15/24: Take OFF

We had a sabbatical with our kids 10 years ago, but we always new we might be heading off on our own on the next sabbatical. Here we are, flying duo, and feeling incredibly grateful to be meeting up with Mari a couple times during this multi phased trip, and also knowing our son is holding down the fort, caring for our special loved ones, including our dear Normie, and yes, Oreo, who seriously injured his back 48 hours before we left.

Was really intense heading off, away from Normie, not to mention our ailing dog, and the idea that anything can happen at any time. Life is funny that way, so you really have to remember to live and find joy. —-Quote from a not particularly famous daughter, mother, wife, dog mom, and home health aide, Sara Goetz

Claude upgraded us to Polaris on Untied to Nice, and that is fully half the fun of a trip — faucet OPEN. We each had our little pod, we had wine with dinner and ice cream sundaes for dessert, with hot fudge AND caramel —now THAT is living. And then Claude slept. I used the restroom, pulled out my drawing stuff and a magazine and my headphones and struggled with the tray table, used the bathroom, tried to read my magazine, watched 4 four episodes of the Frasier reboot show (and used restroom), tried to read my magazine, watched a movie, messed around with the lie-flat seat controls (…could it be that not flat was more comfortable than flat flat? Let me try that again…); had to pee again and then got myself situated again, tried to read my magazine, used the bathroom again; messed around with the remote control, located Relaxation DeepSleep mode, tested out the various video options combined with various audio options, but “mediation” music was kind of scary sounding, nature music was repetitive, classical (never truly calming for me, I think it dates back to when my dad would lug his 2 foot tall stereo speakers right up to the kitchen doorway and blow us all away with the classical radio station); ambient music was oddly bouncy and upbeat; switched to cities video, and “chill beats” which were not that chill, and the cities on the screen were too bright for sleeping, and my headphones were too bulky to lie on my side for sleeping, so I switched to Mari’s old airpods (which only have sound when twisted into a very specific position in your ear); then tried to get comfortable again, went to pee again, and then moved the seat up and down and determined that slightly less than full flat was truly the most comfortable; and then I got hot and changed out of my jeans right there under the blanket and THEN, I slept for a couple hours before we landed. And you know what Claude was doing the whOLE time…?

We rented our car and Claude drove us the 1.5 hrs to Aix to find the dump of a place that Claude picked out this time…all terraces and private gardens and beautiful arty decor, a pool complete with lion’s head fountain, chaise lounges, and a glorious minstrel breeze in the morning (Claude tells me it’s actually called a “Mistral” wind, which makes way more sense). If ya like that sort of thing. Seriously, though, it was just GORGeous!

We took naps and then dragged a ourselves out to dinner armed with a few suggestions from our lovely host Carole, and a will to meander. We ended up at Fauborg 46 (F’bg), where I had a fine Daurade and Claude had a steak. I had a Chardonnay, and actually said to the waiter, “un vin blanc, si vous plait” (just like Saski taught me before I left). French wine—Dee Lish OUS. Very hard to concentrate as we sat on the couch back at our place. I tried to read a kid’s book, T’Quipo about a not human but not quite bear with a red circle for a nose. Claude perused the tour guide for what to do tomorrow. He was looking for something slightly more specific than our general goal to eat as many croissants as possible in the next few weeks. I love staring at my husband sleeping, and I love when he wakes up, and I feel really really lucky to be on this trip, and this whole life’s journey, together with him.

[oranharple]

"Passion" - An Original Short Story

You can listen to an audio recording of myself reading the story on my YouTube channel, right here: https://youtu.be/I41SApi9Xb8

--------------------------------------------------

I tugged at the collar of my dress shirt and pulled at the tie wrapped snug around my throat. I've always hated ties, and it certainly did not help that it was the same set of church clothes that I had been wearing for the last half a decade. It wasn't so much the issue that we couldn't afford better clothes, because we could. Mom even suggested stopping by the store to grab another outfit, but we were already running late as it was. It wasn't even an issue last time I came to church. However, it had been a while since then, and since leaving for college I had bulked up a bit in some areas.

Mom noticed this struggle of mine and subtly jabbed her elbow into my side. It was her usual way of wordlessly conveying the message, "Stop making yourself look like a fool during the sermon!" I whispered something about perhaps taking my tie off, at least, which she responded by sucking her teeth and tossing her head to the side, her way of wordlessly saying, "Go ahead, if you want to embarrass me in front of all my bingo friends." I kept the tie on, and suffered through it.

● ● ●

I had left for college that previous summer. It was the first time I had been away from my family for an extended period. I recall my mom crying in the passenger seat and Dad practically throwing my suitcase into the dorm room. Meanwhile, Kristen was acting as my shadow. I was initially annoyed by her following me and her pressing questions: "What is this box for?" "Do you have this place all to yourself?" "Are you going to get a girlfriend?" But, after several minutes I came to appreciate her company. I understood that she was just unknowingly mimicking my own behavior from when both James and Simon went off to college. Perhaps it's just a rite of passage all younger siblings must accomplish.

"Clothes." "No." "I don't know."

My siblings and I have always been close– difficult to keep in line and constantly at each other's throats, but close nonetheless. We all drove our parents wild as children, but that's kind of what you sign up for when you have more kids than adults in the house. They could have stopped at me, and everyone was convinced that they would, but then they had Kristen. My brothers and I joked that our parents would've kept trying for a girl until they got one, and maybe we weren't too far off.

I can't imagine wanting that many children– not in the modern age at least. I get the old mindset of children dying young or wanting a bunch of sons so they can pass on the father's name or whatever, but all that just feels so archaic.

I was ten when she was born. No longer the baby of the family, which made me a little happy. The heightened pitch to my mother's tone that she directed at me ended almost immediately after she saw Kristen for the first time. That was nice, but it also meant that I no longer had that unconditional praise and affection that only a baby sibling can have. I actually had to work for that stuff. I had expectations to meet, achievements to work toward, and a completely new identity to discover.

I stood in my new room and arranged objects on my desk from an old cardboard box that had been in the attic for years– if not decades– before we stuffed them full of my own belongings. Kristen sat on my bed, occasionally asking me questions about my upcoming life. Eventually my hand gripped a leather-bound tome. Hefty from the pages inside, but even more so from the words printed in each chapter. I withdrew it from the box. My Bible. The Bible. The only one I knew, at least. I gripped the spine in such a way that, had my fingernails been longer, they could have possibly pierced the skin of the binding.

I placed the book on my desk, right next to my bed. Kristen looked at it for just a moment before turning her head to face me. Her eyes glistened in the warm summer light refracting from the nearby window overlooking the neighboring parking lot. I watched her mouth slowly open, as if the thought was lodged in her throat and she had to cough it out.

"I'm hungry."

● ● ●

I watched as they drove off. It was a very surreal experience; I felt this sudden emptiness in my stomach. The dread of loneliness swelled up within my chest and I just stood there for what felt like an hour, but was more likely just a minute or so.

● ● ●

Apollo arrived later that day. I remember him carrying several suitcases and bags of various sizes packed near to bursting. I understood why he may not have wanted to make multiple trips, but why he insisted on doing all the work himself was beyond me. It's not like he looked particularly athletic, he was actually quite small for someone about one year my senior. "What, did your parents not want to help you move?" I asked as I pulled a duffle bag from his shoulder and a suitcase from out of a death grip.

"Nah," he said between breaths, "It's just me." He then dropped his things to the ground and subsequently crumpled under his own weight, as if his legs were made of paper. Meanwhile, I just stood there, holding some luggage that felt like it was full of stones. I stared down at him, watching his chest rise as fall with each breath, and I became overwhelmed by this sense of pity. Though, I can't say I recognized it as such at the time.

● ● ●

Despite this ordeal, Apollo still had something left out in his car. I offered to retrieve it for him, but he insisted that he be the one to bring it up. I felt like I was in no place to argue, so I watched him step back out the door– not even a full minute after he had collapsed onto the floor of our dorm.

He returned a few minutes later, still short of breath, but carrying just one item. Obvious in identity from its size and shape; it was a guitar case. He set it down by the doorway and pressed his back against the wall. Sweat dripped down from his forehead. I grabbed a bottle of water and tossed it to him, and it collided with his chest before he juggled the container in his arms and chugged about half of it in one sitting.

We both ended up sitting on the floor. Apollo was still drenched in sweat and had gone through another two bottles of water, which were crushed and tossed haphazardly around him. However, he at least seemed cognizant. Eventually, the topic moved to our education and career goals, and he proceeded to explain how his goal was to major in music and pursue some sort of career as a musician.

Just as he explained this to me, my feelings toward Apollo shifted from a strange sort of pity to a clear and unadulterated contempt and loathing. My choice to attend college was to pursue a career in economics, and the work that I saw ahead of me was purely out of a desire for a stable job with a good income. That is what college is for, is it not? Is it not to gain training and knowledge of practical business experience, and the opportunity to find work in that field?

I knew then that there were people that majored in the creative arts, and that there was a place for them in society– I knew that. However, I also understood it to be a foolish venture. How many people pursue a career in the arts? Thousands? Tens of thousands, a year? How many of those that graduate make any semblance of success, whether financial or otherwise? How many even graduate? Perhaps most do, as I cannot imagine the work being nearly as taxing as a degree in math or the sciences. Surely a degree in music could not carry equivalent weight to one in economics, political science, or law.

● ● ●

We hardly spoke for the rest of the day. We retired to our separate rooms, only ever leaving to use the communal restroom. Later in the evening, I was at my desk scrolling through Facebook on my laptop. I saw photos and videos of my friends, finding their own life goals and passions. Blake moved into his dorm, just a couple of floors below me. Lauren and Tanner are now engaged. Chad and Michelle just had their second kid despite both of them struggling to keep the marriage afloat. We all saw it. People have stopped inviting them to events because they cannot coexist in the same room for more than ten minutes before one tries to strangle the other.

I click on the video of Michelle holding her baby. Her smile looks painted on. She is crying, but are they tears of joy over her new child or anxiety over the person holding the smartphone camera? Or perhaps it's the fact that they now have another thread intrinsically linking their lives together, making it harder for either of them to separate.

A pink balloon floats above Michelle's head, yet they call the child their, "beautiful little boy." Perhaps there were no more IT'S A BOY! balloons at Party City, or perhaps someone was expecting a different life for their child.

I click off of the video, and the next post is from Mom. It's two pictures proceeding a novella-sized wall of text. Picture 1. Her and I, shortly after I was born. She still looks youthful, alive, but tired. Very, very tired. I, on the other hand, look like I was molded out of clay, still yet to be cooked; unfinished in her hands.

Picture 2. Me in my senior photo. I really hate this image. I was so very tired and uncomfortable there in the studio, but you could hardly tell that just by looking. They made me wear that stupid bow tie and a tacky black and white suit– but just the top half. They didn't need to photograph anything below the waist; it was just a façade to look professional and well kept.

Though, credit where credit is due, the people doing the touch ups really did a good job of making it look like I was actually happy to be there. It's like looking into a mirror, but one that shows you a warped image of yourself. All the parts of you that make you look good, young, and attractive are accentuated, but you know where the falsehoods lie, and the more you look at it, the more you grow to hate this completely disingenuous version of yourself.

● ● ●

If the tight collar around my neck wasn't bad enough, the church was sweltering. The air conditioning was broken the last time I was there, but it was turning to autumn, so the priest just decided to not fix it. Come the spring and early summer, he still never got around to it. Now I and dozens of middle-aged people are sweating underneath our nice clothing.

The priest pulled out a handkerchief and wiped down the top of his sparkling bald head, then he proceeded to blow his nose into the rag, and he repeated this process several times throughout the sermon. Oftentimes, I couldn't pay attention to what he was actually saying; I just focused on this one repeated action.

● ● ●

The whole congregation stood for communion. The priest and two other elders moved into positions to hand out the wafers and wine.

It was the first time I had ever participated in the practice, and my mind could not rest as I stood in the line. My arms were quaking by my sides and I could find no good place to put them. I thrust them into my pockets, under my armpits, behind my back, everywhere felt wrong and disingenuous.

● ● ●

Apollo was by far the most social of the two of us. He always wanted to arrange time together, even if it was just walking and talking on the way to class. I often tried to find an excuse to avoid this, but some excuses can only last so long before your true intentions become obvious.

He would talk on and on about his classes, what kind of music he was listening to, virtually every aspect of his life. I responded with very little. It didn't seem to upset him; he seemed quite content to talk about himself. A trait that I was not particularly fond of.

Eventually, I began getting up and leaving the dorm before he even woke up. I had built my entire schedule off of trying to avoid him as much as possible. Any time I saw him on campus, I tried to keep my distance. If we ever passed each other, I would simply not acknowledge him and pretend I never saw him.

Despite this, I can't say I hated him– on the contrary, I began to hate myself. I felt as though I was punishing him for his eccentricities, and I never wanted that. The Lord said to "judge not, that ye be not judged" (Matthew 7:1), and I always took that ideology to heart, but my heart was conflicted, as it seems it has always been. Any time I saw his face, this familiar discomfort swelled within my chest, and the thoughts and feelings that I had often dismissed would race back to me.

● ● ●

"Do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived. Neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor homosexuals, nor sodomites, nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor extortioners will inherit the kingdom of God" (1 Corinthians 6:9-10).

I remember the priest reading this passage from his pulpit at the front of the sanctuary. It certainly is a convenient piece of the Scripture. It's like a laundry list of sinful behavior to avoid.

As a child, my mind held on to this one set of verses. Perhaps because the Bible is so often left open to one's interpretation of its text, but there it was, written in plain ink, many concepts that someone needed to avoid to be deserving of eternity in heaven. Not a comprehensive list, of course, nor should it be the only verses to cite for a wholly moral lifestyle, but for me, it was a start.

It seemed that, in the eyes of God, you were either all in, or you were out. So, I spent the next few years becoming deeply engaged with the church and the Scripture. I wanted nothing more than to be the best follower I could be, lest I suffer an eternal damnation. Even the rest of my family considered my practice a bit extreme, but I only wished to do right by the eyes of the Lord, for such abstaining from sin should grant me the eternal love and favor of God.

Why, then, did my heart– the vessel by which my faith resided– swell with excitement at the thought of lying in bed with other men? Why did I long for another masculine body to hold me? For us to embrace each other as the gentle moonlight illuminated that which we could not normally see through the dark.

I had tried to turn these feelings toward one of the opposite sex, but that fell apart very quickly. She was a good person, but I could not love her. She always wanted to move the relationship forward, but I was still waiting for that spark of affection, of joy– of literally anything for me to attach to, so that I could say I loved her, and mean it– but it never came. I felt cornered into a situation I wanted no part in, so we separated, and I pushed the feelings down. I felt that if I must feel such a way, then that is fine, but I must not act on such desires, and I should convert this desire– this lust– into energy directed into my faith. I would have to pursue morality to such a degree so as to compensate for my innate sin. This, I decided, was my passion.

● ● ●

Snow began falling across the campus. Classes were canceled after several inches accumulated over the first couple of hours. I woke up to the alert on my phone, and decided to just stay in bed. It was easier than pretending.

Then, I heard it. The gentle chords of Apollo’s guitar piercing through the thin walls of the dorm. It was not uncommon for him to practice when classes were over, but I rarely ever listened. Other times I would put on headphones and drown it out with my own music, or listen to a podcast while doing homework, but this time I layed in bed and just let the music envelop me.

There was something there that I had never cared to hear before. I wish I could explain it in words how each note caressed me and comforted me, like the warm embrace of a parent or lover.

Then it suddenly stopped. A faint voice passed through the walls, though I do not recall understanding its words. All I do remember is the aching in my chest which returned when the music stopped. I tried to dismiss it, to be rid of the thoughts and feelings that crept back into my mind. "You don't really want this," I told myself, "Just stay true."

It was like a drug, and I was feeling the withdrawal.

"Blessed is the man who remains steadfast under trial, for when he has stood the test he will receive the crown of life, which God has promised to those who love him" (James 1:12).

● ● ●

I tossed and turned until I reached over to my desk and grabbed the Bible. Still in bed, I opened the book and tried to read through the pain. My eyes couldn't focus, and I hardly recall reading anything. I was just mindlessly flailing through the pages, all of which looked like seas of off-color white with dots of black ink floating across its surface. Eventually, I landed on a page that had been marked with a sticky note. One that I had practically memorized word for word by this point: 1 Corinthians 6:9-10.

I stared at the paragraph for minutes or hours, I still do not recall, but I was pulled back as I read the next line. Verse 11: "And such were some of you. But you were washed, but you were sanctified, but you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus and by the Spirit of our God." 

● ● ●

When Apollo opened his door, I saw a pair of reddened eyes staring back at me. I don’t remember what I said, but the next thing I knew we were sitting on his bed, talking. It was the most we’d talked in months, yet it felt like we had never stopped. I confessed that which had been on my mind, and apologized for how I had treated him throughout the months we had known each other. He responded with very little, and that was enough for me.

We both stopped to watch the snow pile up out the window in silence. The anxiety still filled my chest and had made its way up to my throat. I felt like I was choking on the words I wanted to say to him, unable to say anything more. I looked back at Apollo, and the puffy red around his eyes was almost entirely overpowered by the bright blue that glittered in their center. Staring back at me, his mouth moved, but I just barely heard the words escape, “Are you sure that this is what you want?”

I couldn't hesitate. “Yes.”

● ● ●

I raised my head to the priest and took a few steps closer to the altar. He brought the wafer up toward me and said, just as he had said to the previous hundred or so people, “The body of Christ.”

With my throat pushing against my collar, I was able to whimper out an, “Amen.” From there, I opened my mouth, extended my tongue, and accepted the body of Christ inside me. As the wafer dissolved, I felt the warmth of the room envelop me. Sweat dripped from my brow and my eyes opened to see the symbol of the crucifixion hanging over the entire congregation.

● ● ●

Looking down, I saw Apollo’s face, bright red and sweating. His bare chest raised and fell rhythmically with each breath he took. His fingernails had dug into my back, to a point in which I was afraid I would start bleeding. My own chest swelled and I felt that same feeling of fear and doubt in my throat, but it all seemed to fade as I saw Apollo look back up at me and smile. He had, in that moment, a smile like I had never seen before– it was a smile of true, unadulterated passion. A smile that I feared I would never be able to replicate.

I collapsed on his chest. He wrapped his arms tighter around me, and I reciprocated. A cold chill seemed to run through the room as the storm still raged outside, yet here we lay, warm in each other’s arms.

As my breathing began to steady, and his chest settled on a gentle rise and fall, there was one sound that persisted. Like the ticking of a clock, I heard the soft and measured beat of a heart.

[morrigan-sims]

hi morri, hope you're having a good day! how did you get into dnd? i'm interested by it but my adhd revolts at all the complex info and rules and reading and such. i'm trying to get a feel for it with baldur's gate, is that misguided? lmao i know nothing 🙏🏼💗

LUSH!! Ask me about my special interest why don’t you? /pos

I’m gonna start off and say that I have yet to play BG3 so I can’t really make a comparison between that and actual D&D, but from what I’ve heard the rules are pretty much the same, it’s just a lot more limited in choices Bc yk, video game. (No game will ever be able to simulate the pure chaos of people playing D&D. I swear to you. People come up with the wildest shit.)

So, I’ve had an interest in it for YEARS, like, so long. I don’t even remember where it started, I just thought it sounded cool as hell and I wanted to play. But I didn’t *really* get into it until late last year.

I got my introduction by watching Critical Role, and that helped me to the point that the second time I ever played I could help my DM remember rules. (No one believed me that I had only played once before lmao.)

So if you want to get a feel for how it works and the rules, watching people play is a GREAT way to do that! There’s some amazing D&D shows out there. I’ve only watched CR, but I know a lot of people who love Dimension 20 and I’ve also heard of Not Another DnD Podcast. (If anyone has other suggestions, feel free to comment!)

(Btw, if listening to just audio is impossible for you, like it is for me, both CR and d20 have full videos of their streams on YouTube. Which is both more fun (facial expressions, body language, and all around shenanigans) and also lets you see and understand combat better which is helpful!)

But all in all, the best way to really get a feel for the game is actually play it. (Which is true of anything, really.) I have a discord server for simmers who play D&D, and I’d be happy to send you the invite if you want! I’ll gladly answer any questions you have (I’m not kidding. I’ve explained just about the entire rule book to my mom and sister by this point, and I enjoyed it.), plus we’re hoping to run a couple one shots this summer!

A one shot is a great way to test out the waters and see if you like it, plus they can be just plain ridiculous, so I highly recommend giving one a shot.

Okay, that’s it. I swear. I’m so sorry for rambling at you for 200+ words. But yeah, feel free to DM me on here or on discord if you have questions and/or want an invite to the server. (That goes for anyone btw!) I hope you enjoy your foray into D&D!

[howtobecomeadragon]

8, 21, & 50 which is can you please share a headcanon you have for either will or mike? :)

hello hello!!!! thank you for the questions 😁

8. favorite band/artist: okay so. here's the thing. I'm notttttt like a big music listener? idk how to describe it haha. like I'll listen to music when it's on and occasionally I'll find a song I'm obsessed with and cling to it (for years tbh) but I very rarely like most of what an artist does and hardly even look that far anyway? I really like podcasts and audio books, and I like to have on like 12 hour ambience videos and classical music for background noise. I like Laid by James and I like a lot of the songs from the new Taylor Swift album (Labryinth and Mastermind and Midnight Rain and Maroon and Great War) and I like Simon and Garfunkel but only their most well known songs that my mom used to play on her Best Of album and I like Reckoner by Radiohead. maybe like 6 or 7 years ago I would've said Of Monsters and Men and like 10 years ago I would've said Florence and the Machine but I don't listen to them much anymore. I'm always open to trying new stuff (if you want to suggest anything) but I just never get into it, idk what's wrong with me!!!! 😬

21. how was my day: it was decent!!! did my little work secret santa and I blushed and stuttered while it was my turn to open my present on our video call bc i am anxious and shy but I got Stranger Things Monopoly (!!) and a throw blanket with Joyce's alphabet lights on it (!!!!) so I'm over the moon about that.

50. wild card, hc for Mike or Will: I have this little thing that has popped up in two of my wip's so it's engrained up in my noggin for some reason: Mike steals like. a shirt from Will. and he puts it on a pillow like as if it were a pillowcase. like a security blanket. for when he misses Will. Will teases him. it is cute. 🙂

[skippyv20]

For the mom with the child recently diagnosed with ASD...

1st - hugs to you and your family.    2nd definitely get a 2nd opinion    

My granddaughter was diagnosed with ASD when she was 2 1/2 - her parents were not shocked by the diagnosis because my son-in-law's brother is autistic and he recognized some of the behaviors, however they still questioned the diagnosis because she was so young.     My granddaughter  had speech delay, sensory issues, walked on her toes, would spin endlessly, etc. She will be 6 in September and in the 1st grade.  

From 2 ½ to 5 years of age, she was  fortunate to be in a medical care area with an Autism treatment plan for behavioral, speech, sensory and occupational therapy working in coordination with each other.  (I believe this is the protocol nationwide but am not positive).   She was very fortunate that despite her parents questioning the diagnosis they recognized that the therapy would only help their daughter even if the diagnosis was wrong.    The therapy helped my granddaughter start at grade level for Kindergarten (some areas she was above grade level)     

My daughter researched the different behavioral and academic challenges  of Autism and the techniques and items parents could use to address those challenges. For example ..kinetic sand, play dough and finger paint for sensory.  Stress balls, special chew toys/necklaces, textured clothing and blankets to help with stimming.   A Sit and Spin and one of those small  indoor trampolines  to help with the need for movement.  A cocoon swing when my granddaughter needed reduced sensory input or to self calm when transitioning between activities or just another way to spin. A weighted blanket to help with trouble falling asleep and calming on car rides.  Educational shows downloaded to a tablet..the repetitiveness of the shows help with vocabulary, speech, learning numbers and some social and life skills.  Noise canceling headphones to help with audio sensitivity.  A wrist leash because my granddaughter is a runner  or having my granddaughter wear a backpack with books or water bottles in it  when out in public with only one parent because it slows her down.  Also a tracker  that was worn around her waist when out in a crowded area like the zoo or shopping with one parent.  For toe walking - high top shoes and making games out of walking flat footed like marching or stomp walking .  (she still toe walks at times but simply telling her "flat feet" stops the toe walking for longer periods of time) A food diary to help determine if my granddaughter didn’t like the taste of certain foods or was it the texture -  applesauce is good, raw apples a no, cooked carrots good, carrot sticks no, cooked pears no but raw pear good. Cheese slice no, string cheese good. Jello cups no, jello cubes good.  yogurt cup no, gogurt good. My daughter also keeps my granddaughter on a schedule for meal times, bath time, tablet time, bed times which lessened the meltdowns over changing activities. 

If your community has an Autism Society or Foundation besides being an excellent resource for information, they also host fun events for children of all ages.

I am sure you are very overwhelmed at the moment.    I do want to stress that treatment and therapy for ASD has improved substantially in the last 5 years compared to 10 years ago.   Definitely seek the 2nd opinion and definitely follow through with any therapy suggested by the medical team - regardless of the diagnosis - therapy will only help your child.    Trust your instincts, if you or your child do not fit well with a therapist or Dr.  find someone you and your child feel comfortable with.  What works for one child may not work for another child and that is okay..you will find what works best for your child.      

Thank you so much for sharing, and caring. Much appreciated❤️❤️❤️❤️

[i-luvsang]

You're the sweetest :/ there actually a book fair going on now, so next week I'm planning on going with my mom :) gonna make her get so much books (I'll pay for dinner im jot that bad)

Oh yeah? How'd you do that😭 I'm open for suggestions

-😼

oh that's amazing!! i love books hehe especially buying a bunch even when i already own many i still need to read LOL

i meannnnn idk how entertaining just chatting with me is LOL but there's that, you can always tell me more about you kpop favs, idk any of your biases or anything like that!! i'd love to learn, or you can ramble about anything that you find interesting or want to talk to someone about? you could send me hcs about your favs and i can expand on them, we could send each other memes or song recs or i could find an ask game to rb! as for other ways to entertain oneself i'm bad at that but! one thing i've been having a lot of fun with recently is making moodboards and writing poetry/fics! or one of my fav ways to cure boredom is listen to audio books while i draw or just wander around the house LOLOL

[thaiteaprincess]

Daily Recap 8/10/23

And Jesus answered them, “Truly, I say to you, if you have faith and do not doubt, you will not only do what has been done to the fig tree, but even if you say to this mountain, ‘Be taken up and thrown into the sea,’ it will happen. 22 And whatever you ask in prayer, you will receive, if you have faith.” - Matthew 21:21-22

God proved to me the power of prayer last night. I have been praying for someone but I never thought my pray would be answered. I shouldn’t have had so little faith that God would hear me. My prayer was answered as I was in the middle of praying my rosary. I got a cryptic text and felt called to respond, only to receive such good news! I will never doubt God again!

Today is Thursday and that means I clean the kitchen. But I started to get very overwhelmed because there was a lot of chores I needed to finish in my garden. Cleaning and gardening are both extremely physical for my since I have POTS. So my mom wisely suggested that I just focus on my garden today since it brings me more joy. So I went to my local nursery and got some supplies. Potted my indoor plants I bought a week ago and sowed my beets. I also subscribed to the app Planta! It helped me diagnose some issues. I guess my FERN isn’t getting enough light 🤦‍♀️

Speaking of, this is Guinevere, maidenhair fern, and Dottie a prayer plant!

The plan for the rest of the day is to read twilight until it’s time to wind down. My wind down will include, prayer for St Dymphna’s intercession, more prayer, stretching, and listening to my audio book (A God Shaped Brain.)

I hope everyone’s day was good! Peace be with you!

[parkergf]

does anyone have good audio book recommendations? i have two free audible downloads and a 14 hour drive coming up so i’d love some suggestions!

[stpeachery]

Finally finished the Legacy of the Force series!

Much to think about!

Starting off, Jacen's downfall to becoming a sith still makes no sense to me. Like, I see the vision, but the more I think about it the more confusing it is. Denning really wanted an Anakin/Vader 2.0. Maybe if I read the dark nest trilogy then it'll make more sense. Also I was listening to the abridged audio book so that may be why.

I genuinely think Mara shouldn't have died. There was no reason for her to die. Jacen could've became a sith a different way. It seems like she was killed off for shock value. Like if anyone can explain why her death was needed then I'm all ears.

Also why wouldn't Mara explain in the letter that she wrote to Luke that she was going after Jacen because she suspected he had turned into a sith. "Gone hunting for a few days. Don't be mad at me, farmboy. Also, Jacen may be a sith so I'm going to confront him. If I don't come back, HUNT. HIM. DOWN." I'm serious this would have saved the team from hunting down Lumiya and Alema Rar (though they needed to go I won't lie) and confront Jacen right then and there.

Shout out to Jacen for wearing his custom designed, hand-sewn and tailored, black Versace GAG slim fit suit to his aunt's funeral. Y'know the aunt he killed, lol. Love that Mara got the last laugh (kinda) by outing Jacen as the one that killed her. Wish Luke picked up on it instead of being all "it's Mara's sign that we need to get along from now on, as a family :)" and leaving Ben to go after Jacen all by himself.

Tahiri...you're not seeing the pearly gates for trying to seduce a 14yr old. And he's the love of your lifes baby cousin?? 🤨 I won't hold it against her, instead I will actively hunt Denning down for that part. Hope she had some kind of healing in the next series of the books cause girly has had a rough life lmfao.

Where tf is Zekk??? He's just gone and not seen anymore. Anywhomst, now my Jaina/Jagged agenda can live.

Shout-out to my girl Tenel Ka-Djo. No specific reason, she's just really cool. Love her from infinity to infinity 💕💕💕 (Rip Isolder though, that blows)

Speaking of Tenel-Ka, I'm sorry but that elevator scene with her, Leia, and Han is kinda funny lmfao. She's literally crying her heart out because Jacen kidnapped their kid and (maybe accidentally) almost got her killed while escaping and Han is like "👀👀👀 Man, this kid is super upset, I wonder why talking about Jacen is making her so upset, it has to be because Allana is gone, yeah that's it." My brother in the Force she's technically your daughter(ish) in-law and your son kidnapped your grandchild.

Shout out to Ben Skywalker for constantly suspecting Jacen to be his mom's killer and not being swayed by anyone suggesting otherwise that it was Alema, Cal Omas (still giggling at this lol Jacen you're so petty), or Lumiya.

Speaking of Ben, what happened to that little girl he rescued???

Love Niathal, my gaslight gatekeep girlboss Admiral gworl. Not so much Daala because I know what she does to Luke and the Jedi later on. ._.

Also Rip Pellaeon, the last of Thrawn's legacy, fly high (or low) old man 💕💕💕