#so the ratio of nice to rude

[subwillsolace]

hi beloved. i have a confession to make. i fear my responses to your fics have been lacking and i would like to get on my knees and apologize for my lack of affection. im not going to lie i feared if i were to constantly leave you an ask or comment (im a little shy with comments tbh mb because i could genuinely write 500 words per fic you write and idk if thats ok) on every. single. fic. you write. including your mediumgayitalian account. it would seem overbearing... but i have realized this continuous lapse in my judgement. now that i hear youre going to be very very busy in july i will cherish every bit of writing and every single post. and every post after july too. i apologize for acting like an emotionally unavailable boyfriend i swear i will rightfully show my appreciation for, no hyperbole, im being dead serious, my number one favorite author of all time in the years ive been reading fanfiction. lmk if youd like them through asks or comments. because i will SHOW you my appreciation. if that's okay with you.

oh my god beloved hi....lemme tell you a secret that is not a secret: i literally only post for the validation of comments and reblogs tbh.

i write for me. the stories are in my head already but when they are in my head they are blurry and inconsistent. to write them is relief and is also something for me to reread a bajillion times. i am my own target audience.

however.

like i have a blog and update it so often for the sole purpose of being appreciated. i know that is self-centered and egotistical and narcissistic blah blah blah. man Whatever. i want the attention of people noticing the work i care about 😭 like EYE know that the line i wrote was good and referenced something. i looked the reference up myself. but it is a special kind of pleasure to have SOMEONE ELSE notice that the line was good and referenced something. you know.

you could leave me forty comments on every fic every day and i would literally never get annoyed. like. this is my horny blog so i can say it but i am an attention whore. i like being appreciated. i like being showered in compliments. i am needy and i like knowing that people think im good.

anyways. thank you my dearest. no need for apologies. you could never be overbearing. you could ask me a million questions about every paragraph and it will take me time to get there but i'll answer them. thank you <3333

[2-dsimp]

Question would Temothy still be just as protective of a cow boy darling? Just a male cow, trying to make sure his bull assistant is taken care of. I like to imagine he really likes Temothy’s horns and is a bit jealous that his aren’t as big.

Any time someone new calls him a lady because he’s a cow his eye twitches with annoyance as he corrects them.

Yandere Bull x male!cow darling

Tw: fluff, mentions of blackmail, gender affirmation, Temothy being your devoted assistant.

◣────•~❉᯽❉~•────◢

“Ah b-boss your horns are looking especially nice today! Would you like me to p-polish them?” Your devoted assistant would always make sure to compliment you on your horns. He knows about your complex about them being small. And he’d go to no lengths to stroke your ego.

“Oh how I w-wish I could have horns like yours. T-they’re easy to m-manage and it won’t get you stuck in the doors. Or scrape the paint off the walls unlike mine.” Temothy stammered, making it a habit to tell you about his woes with having huge horns like his. Making it seem like a burden you wouldn’t want to have. Putting himself down just so you’d feel better about yourself.

—————

The Bull is always on the alert should someone so much as attempts to misgender you. It was common that most cows are considered female thanks to the small ratio demographic of males present.

But Temothy couldn’t have his darling boss stressed out from such ignorant comments. So he always emphasize about how his Boss was such a capable man. His endless praise, alone is what made the employees get the gist that you were in fact a male cow.

And if a certain someone happened to be deaf Temothy would pull them aside for a “small talk” on the side.

The next day the worker who joked about you being a woman trying to pose as a man. Willingly resigned, looking so traumatized and banged up from an “accident”. Which was the main cause for their termination with your company. It left them unfit mentally to work at your establishment.

It didn’t pose a problem for you to cut one loose. But it irked you how they couldn’t even look your sweet assistant in the eyes. After you’ve heard about Temothy’s efforts to be accommodating for the rude employee from whispers in the office.

“Ugh good riddance, that one was a bad apple I tell ya. Not so much as one thanks for how much you’ve helped em out” You chuffed, ears flickering as you started stamping some papers to permanently remove them from your workforce.

Meanwhile Temothy merely preened under your praise wagging his tail. Acting as if he didn’t threaten to maul that worker to death and leak their family’s IP address to the loan sharks who’ve been looking for them.

[1-800-local-slut]

House of Memories (Spencer's Version)

Spencer Reid x Black! Fem! FBI! Reader

A look at your life with Spencer through the eyes of his team mates

Warnings: none really, just fluff, the team being observant, adult objects (condoms, alcohol, etc.,), not a warning but a note: reader isn't in the BAU but she works in the FBI, through Emily's POV

“I wasn’t expecting an invite from you, Reid. Thanks for having me over.” The front door to the apartment opened. Emily was holding a bottle of cheap wine that she grabbed from the liquor store down the street when she realized she forgot to bring a house gift. It was a close call too, she was literally driving past it when she realized and had to make a very hasty u-turn. 

“It’s no problem, thank you for coming! Derek, Garcia and Hotch are in the living room, Rossi’s in the bathroom and JJ’s coming late. Her loss though, I think she’d really enjoy Interstellar and if she comes late I know she’s going to complain. Come in, just take your shoes off if you don’t mind.” Emily nodded, after Spencer gave her a light side hug and accepted the bottle from her. 

He wore a white tee-shirt, pajama bottoms, and smelt fresh. His hair was damp as well, like he’d showered a few hours ago but his hair is so thick that it takes a minute for it to dry. She noticed his light shrug, as if it wasn’t his preference but he would take it anyways. 

Ghosting through the threshold, she bent down and slipped off her boots. She heard light chatter, music, smelt a vanilla and sea salt (it was a rough guess) candle burning, and heard the clatter of pots in the kitchen. 

She couldn’t help it, her analytical mind working before she could stop it. Sometimes she would find herself profiling strangers even when it was rude. And profiling your coworker who invited you into his home was very rude. 

Spencer’s shoes were thrown on the floor, one knocked on its side but still close together. As if it was an attempt on his end to be some sort of neat. Pairs of heels, pumps, boots were lined on the shoe rack but after doing a quick count, she noticed something. There were far more womens shoes than there were mens shoes. About six pairs of men's shoes to a 10 women’s shoe ratio.

Aaron, David, Derek make three, and the other three were clearly Spencer’s. Pen’s shoes obviously were one of those female shoes. The bright purple heels sticking out like a sore thumb amongst the browns, blacks, and deep reds of the female shoes. 

‘Enough Emily, stop being rude.’ 

“Your house is beautiful Spencer.” She couldn’t help but look around in slight awe. She wasn’t expecting Spencer’s house to be so…neat? No, that sounds mean. Neat in a way that didn’t seem like it was all Spencer. Sure Spencer’s little unique touches were sprinkled about the apartment and she was still standing at the doorway.

There were pictures of nature hanging on the wall, of a young black woman standing in front of a large pond far from the camera. She wore a pink baseball cap and had her hands flung out as if to emphasize how big the pond was. Who was that? A secret lover? She looked familiar, like a face Emily had seen in passing.

“Oh thanks. I just moved in a few months ago so not everything is fully set up.” Spencer called from the kitchen, and there were three clicks from the stove. Then he slid out, wiping his hands on a towel. As she walked through the house, she noticed more.

Potted plants with lush green leaves, knitted plant holders hanging from the ceiling, a red and dark blue patterned rug on the floor in the hall. From where she stood, she could see there was a small dining area. A nice wooden table, with papers and files scattered all over. 

She found her way to the living room and saw her coworkers engaged in whispers on the couch. More papers and files were on the small tables on either side of the couch, a contrast to the neatness of the rest of the house.

“Hey everybody, what’s up?” Emily asked. Heads snapped towards her, and she noticed Penelope’s eyes curved up in a mischievous grin. 

“Hi! Come sit, come sit.” Penelope motioned next to her, Derek and Rossi sliding over to make room for her. 

“Did you make it in okay?” Hotch asked and Emily nodded while she slipped onto the brown leather sofa. A dark purple hand knitted black was thrown over the back of it. Did Spencer take up knitting or was this just a nice purchase? 

Spencer plopped down into the brown leather armchair and rested his feet on the pouf in front of him. Emily noticed how spotless the glass coffee table in front of them was. 

The whole house was ridiculously clean. The wooden floors sparkled, the carpets meticulously vacuumed, the TV sparkled and the speakers next to the TV were flawlessly dusted. The large oak bookshelf that was up against the wall that was closest to the kitchen was also dusted and the books neatly organized. 

When would Spencer have time to clean his house so thoroughly? They were on a mission all of last week, got back two nights ago and have been at work since then. Sure, it’s Spencer he could just be very clean but the way things sparkled, it was clear they were cleaned merely a few hours ago. 

When they did go home it was late at night and they were back at work early the next day. Did he spend his whole Saturday afternoon scrubbing his floors, and preparing to cook for them? Spencer wasn’t the type to have a housekeeper, especially when he does his work all over and you can’t exactly leave FBI documents in the eye of the eye of a random house keeper.

“Sorry about the paperwork, I still have to set up my study. I have to put up my desk and everything.” Everyone voiced a consolation, some variation of ‘I don’t mind’ or ‘you should see my place’.

“Not the handyman?” Derek teased, wiggling his eyebrows. Spencer chuckled and shook his head. Spencer’s been smiling a lot more lately.

“I like keeping myself out of the hospital. Did you know every 45 minutes a piece of furniture falls on someone, and 25,000 people a year are treated at the hospital for a furniture related incident?” Spencer rattled off, emphasizing the numbers with his fingers.

Before anyone else could say anything, the doorbell rang. Spencer glanced back at the door, before he sprung to his feet with enthusiasm like he was expecting  Emily and Penelope exchanged looks, giggling while Rossi lightly rolled his eyes.

“Of course he knows that. Also, did any of you know that Spencer moved to a new place?” Derek asked.

“Well I knew. I know where all of you live. But it was very considerate of him to invite us over.” Hotch nodded, taking a sip of a bottle of water. Not Spencer’s usual brand but she did notice a switch some time ago. From Purelife to Poland Spring.

“Did you see the coat? Hanging by the door rack?” Penelope whispered, motioning for everyone to come in closer. There was a devilish twinkle in her eyes, her brain working overtime.

“What, you think he has some… extra company? A secret lover?” Rossi chuckled. Of course she noticed, but she just thought it was Penelope’s. 

“Maybe! Do you think?” Penelope asked excitedly, her hands flapping around with enthusiasm. Oh Penelope, ever the romantic. Derek giggled next to Penelope. He was lightly smacked by Penelope as a rebuttal and he giggled as if the slaps tickled him and they heard Spencer’s reapproaching foot steps along with an extra pair of heels. 

They all turned, eager to see who it was. Would it be the woman in the photo? His mom? Someone else?

“JJ!” Emily exclaimed when the final member of their team came in. She twisted around in her seat, happy to see her friend. JJ wasn’t able to make it on their last assignment so it had been a minute since they’d seen her. For people who practically live together, spending almost every moment together while at work was normal. They’d all fallen into a natural balance of being around each other. Of course they’d missed JJ while she was out sick.

“Hi!” She held her arms open for hugs, while the entire team voiced their hellos.

“Sorry I’m late, the grocery store was ridiculous. You wouldn’t believe what I saw, some lady's ex boyfriend came there and she called the cops on him like right there in the store. Apparently, he gave her something on purpose. She got on the speaker and called him ‘Dirty Dick David’. And then they fired her for playing with the mic that way!” She told her story while passing out hugs and then plopped down in the opposite arm chair across from the one Spencer was sitting in before.

“What?” Spencer laughed while he sat back down. 

“Right there it happened.” The whole team was laughing and Emily remembered that this was why she got along with her team so well. The easy laughter was so simple and refreshing.

“Woah, right there is insane! I guess she was sick of him.” Emily leaned slightly into Penny, allowing herself more comfort

“Imagine being at work and your ex who purposely infected you with something shows up to both you? I’d be pissed too.” Derek chuckled.

“I’ve been through three wives and never got a reaction like that, Dirty Dick David certainly had it coming.” Rossi added before they all laughed even harder.

Then there was a loud ringing noise. Spencer’s phone was going off and he patted himself down, lifting himself up checking to see if he was sitting on it. Then he got up, his face making a tiny expression like he could finally recall.

“I’ll be right back guys.” He ran into the kitchen and Penelope pulled everyone into a huddle.

“Okay, here’s what you missed JJ, you ready?”

“I’m ready?” She asked with an arch eyebrow and a nervous smile.

“There’s a bunch of lady stuff around here, like a coat and I don’t know if you saw the shoes but there are a lot of lady shoes. Rossi was in the bathroom and saw a bunch of lady stuff too, like a special face cleanser but he didn’t wanna snoop. I think he should’ve gone for it but whatever. Also I don’t know if you know but I know that Spencer doesn’t cook. 

His house is also really clean like really really clean like it was just clean but when would he have gotten the time to clean it? I mean we got off work like three hours ago. Running theories? Spencer has a housekeeper, a secret girlfriend, or his moms visiting. Got it? Okay, got it.” 

JJ blinked after Garcia’s rapid rundown, Derek nodding like he was able to keep up with that and Hotch all around looked displeased.

“We are guests in Spencer’s home, don’t go looking through his stuff. Maybe Spencer likes that stuff, that’s not any of our concern.” He frowned with a crease in his eyebrows. 

“Yeah Garcia, besides if Spence did get a girlfriend then I think that’s great for him.” JJ chuckled and Derek rubbed her shoulder comfortingly.

“I’m back! I picked up the shrimp and some wine. I also got some beers if you want any. The coolers are for me, you can have one but don’t take any of the pink ones. I like those ones.”  A familiar voice sounded through the house.

The sound of socks hitting the floor padded through the house and a young woman walked in. The woman from the photo more specifically. Her hair was in long braids that curled around her waist. She was gorgeous, a red scarf was wrapped around her neck to protect her from the chilly winter air. More specifically she was familiar. 

More specifically she was from a different team. More specifically a member of the HRT. The Hostage Rescue Unit. They’ve seen Spencer speaking with her a lot. They’ve teased him for their closeness multiple times, and knew they were a bit closer. But Emily didn’t know they were such close friends. For her to just walk into his home this way.

No offense to Spencer but when Emily said she was hot, she meant she was hot. Like she just stepped out of a magazine. And she never thought Spencer would have it in him to pull. Spencer was certainly nothing to sneeze at but my god was this woman attractive.

She was making her way through the house, to the kitchen lightly waddling. She held a bag of groceries and as if she could feel all the eyes on her she turned. 

“Oh hi! I’m sorry, I ran out to the grocery store. I didn’t realize we ran out of shrimp but the food will be done soon.” She beamed at them and put one of her hands on her hips. And Emily did as profilers do. She profiled even if she didn’t truly mean too. She was wearing pajama pants, and a puffy coat that was zipped open to reveal a white tank top. Above all she radiated joy, confidence and comfort.

“It’s nice to see you again.” Hotch cleared his throat, and she nodded at the members of the BAU.

“You got the shrimp?” Spencer called, coming out of the kitchen, slipping his phone into the pocket of his pants. He came up behind her, wrapping an arm around her waist. She instinctively angled her head to his and pushed herself up onto her tippy toes to plant a kiss on his lips.

Penelope was on the verge of exploding, her mouth open in a wide grin. She let out an excited squeal. The two agents jumped upon hearing the high pitched noise and everyone on the couch turned to face her.

“What?! Oh my god, when were you gonna tell us?!” Penelope asked, bounding up from the couch. Spencer looked confused above all as Penelope raced towards him and his apparent girlfriend.

“I didn’t think I had to, we weren’t exactly shy about it.” Spencer laughed as he looked at Penelope basically bouncing up and down in front of him. She giggled and Penelope paused.

“Dude we thought you were just friends?” Derek questioned from the couch. Spencer shook his head, looking more and more shocked by the second.

“So how long has this been going on?” Emily asked with a laugh. She had to laugh! How could she not be happy for Spencer? He looked so happy, he literally hadn’t stopped smiling since she came into the door and they kissed.

“Like a year? I mean, I know we jumped the gun with moving, but my lease was up and I decided that this would work and I couldn’t find anywhere close enough to work. We decided to go for it.” Spencer added, scratching the back of his neck.

“You guys really had no idea? I mean I tell you guys that we go out every weekend, I have a picture of her on my desk. We literally come to work together everyday.” Spencer exclaimed, motioning around with his hands.

“I don't see you that often at work, they probably don’t really notice those things.” She rationalized to him and rubbed a hand over his chest. He never moved his hand from around her waist. 

It all made sense. The candles littered around the house, the small basket of yarn and needles on the floor next to one of the arm chairs. The food even smelt too seasoned to be like anything Spencer could cook, the photos that Emily was just now realizing were taken of Spencer. The romance novel that Emily saw sitting on the glass coffee table. How spotless the entire house was. The shoes, the coat, Emily was just mad at herself for not recognizing the photo.

“Well. Way to go Reid, I didn’t know you had it in you.” She smirked at Derek’s remark and stood on her toes again. She whispered something in Spencer’s ear and he cackled with his mouth open in shock. 

He was turning a bashful shade of red and his voice squeaked as he sent her away. 

“I’ll be finished with your food soon, you guys.” Trailing into the kitchen, Spencer glanced over as if to check if she needed anything.

“Oh gosh, you didn’t have to cook for us! Thank you so much!” Emily exclaimed, realizing that she was just sitting there like a fish with her mouth wide open. 

“Let her cook, why not enjoy dinner and a movie?” Rossi joked. It seemed like the shock had dissipated and JJ giggled, her blonde hair shining like the Sun and Emily noted how her entire face lit up like a star.

“Honey, can you come help me with these groceries?” Spencer nodded, following her into the kitchen. They watched, waiting to watch them fully go into the kitchen. Then like little girls at a sleepover, they leaned back into their huddle. 

“Wow!”

“Let’s not get too ahead of ourselves.” Hotch tried to keep the peace before his team of impatient agents ran rampant. Emily herself felt like she needed answers and she needed them now. 

“Did you see the way he looked at her? They’re so cute, I had a feeling when he came to work that one time smelling like perfume and wearing the same clothes but they were like all up on each other.” Penelope whispered excitedly. 

“I always knew opposites attract. You know they make a handsome couple too.” The excitement died down for a second and everyone had to look at Rossi. Who even used that phrasing anymore?

“You’re so old, Rossi.” JJ giggled and Hotch shook his head. Rossi smiled playfully, the way he always did when they made fun of him for being ancient.

“What do they even talk about? I mean sure they have stuff in common but for a whole year? I wasn’t expecting that!” Emily exclaimed.

“Reid’s never short on things to talk about.” Derek teased and Penelope swatted him again.

“I mean I noticed he’d been a bit happier but I wasn’t expecting this! I guess you just never know.” JJ added in, glancing over to the kitchen to make sure the two weren’t standing right there. 

“We can find out what they talk about.” No one wanted to admit it but they wanted to snoop so bad. So bad that when Penelope suggested it the best thing to do was to stop talking and be extra quiet so they could hear. Even Hotch, slowly reclined.

Over the clatter of pans, the soft clinking of bottles and things being put away, and dishes being taken out they heard her voice. 

“Emily brought us some wine. Pink.” Spencer’s voice broke through and Emily tensed up. Oh god, what if they hated the wine? 

“Oh my favorite. I’ve always liked that Emily. If it wasn’t for you, I’d go for her.” She laughed and plopped something into what sounded like a liquid. 

Derek made some funny eyebrows at Emily and Emily felt her cheeks heat up. JJ and Penelope both grabbed each other to stifle a laugh. As bad as it was to listen to your teammate and his girlfriend's conversation, they couldn’t stop.

“Aw babe don’t pout.” Then a kissing noise.

“There’s that smile. Also I picked up some condoms, we were down to six and you know we go through those like crazy. Speaking of which, I was thinking, do we really need those? I mean I’m on the pill and at the rate we go we’d save more money just not having sex. To be honest we spend a bit too much money on that stuff anyways and I don’t want to replace another bed frame. I like this one and we literally just got it. That or we just need to stop having sex so often. The call is totally yours but that bitch who works at the front cashier keeps looking at me funny everytime she sees me walk up.” It took a moment for everyone to process what she was talking about. It really took a moment. An identical frown spread over both Rossi and Hotch, and Derek had to put his fist in his mouth to avoid cackling. 

Oh god, this was an awful idea. Now there was just awkward silence. None of them could say anything even if they wanted to.

“So my options are death, death or going raw?” Spencer whined immediately.  Emily focused her eyes on something else instantly, the patterned carpet on the floor, the TV that was showing different scenery as it was in rest mode.

“Oh my god, you are so dramatic! You’re not going to die if we don’t have sexy every day.” The sound of a spoon clattering down and then she broke out into a fit of giggles.

“But how do you know!” He whined again.

“Like I said, it's your choice. It doesn’t really matter to me, I’m just sick of always having to go to the store. And you’re squeezing my ribs.”

“I like your idea. Besides, we have abortion money.” She gasped softly and then broke into light laughter. JJ’s jaw dropped open and Derek snorted before he covered his nose. Of everything that was expected it wasn’t that.

“That’s awful, baby.” She scolded and Emily got a mental image of the two. Was she standing in front of the stove, the smell of food wafting through the house, Spencer standing behind her with arms wrapped firmly around her? If Emily wasn’t so uncomfortable right now her mouth would be watering. It would also warm her heart to hear how happy her friend was.

“I’m sorry.” He joined in on the laughter.

“Oh my god we’re being awful host! Plate up the soup and I’ll pour the wine.”

Once the two came back out, it was hard to even look at Spencer knowing that he had apparently helped break a bed frame. Even if he was holding trays of the most mouth watering gumbo.

“Who wants to watch Interstellar?”

[marragurl]

Ok so like…. Who makes Ratio’s statues? 

Because every possible explanation just opens up a whole new can of worms. 

I’ve been trying to go through as much info about him as I can, including his character stories, but I can’t find anything??? 

So I’m just left stewing in the dark, which usually leads to my humor coming into play. 

So like… are the statues of Ratio’s own making??

Because that would insinuate that he takes the time out of his busy life to constantly make new statues of just himself, including the multiple plaster heads. And if it’s not him physically and it is a manifestation of his Imaginary powers, he’s still making them right??? 

So he still chooses the poses! 

Why??? 

What is his thought process??? 

Physically made or Imaginary Powers made, it’s still his choice on what the statue should look like right???

And if it’s not a conscious decision, then WHAT DO THE JOJO AND CUTESY POSES MEAN

IS JOJO’S BIZARRE ADVENTURES FUCKING CANON IN HSR??

IS IT A SHOW THAT EXISTS??

ARE YOU TELLING ME ARAKI FUCKING EXISTS IN HSR??

AND RATIO IS A FAN?????? 

DON’T TELL ME IT’S JUST A FUN REFERENCE BY THE HSR TEAM, YEA IT’S META TO US BUT IT’S CANON TO THE REST OF THE UNIVERSE THAT RATIO HAS A STATUE OF HIMSELF DOING A JOJO POSE

On the other hand, if it’s not Ratio himself making them… who is it????

Is Ratio commissioning some artists?? Multiple artists? Only one?!?!? 

Is it some weird form of extra credit for his students???

(Student A: Hey wanna hang out tonight? 

Student B: Can’t. Gotta finish up this statue of Dr. Ratio examining his codex by Friday if I wanna get a passing grade in the class

Student A: You can sculpt???

Student B crying with 100 tabs of ‘how to sculpt’ videos and wikiHows pulled up and no sleep: I’m trying my best here Sharon)

Is he like those Renaissance time rich people who basically paid for their favorite artist’s livelihood in order to just make nice art in return??? Is there now a really well-off sculptor somewhere in the universe who is just constantly being paid by THE Dr. Ratio to make stone statues of the man??? Does the artist just put that down in their tax returns?? 

(back at it again with Topaz suffering from Ratiorine’s antics, she’s the one in charge of Ratio’s Sculptor’s taxes)

THAT STILL DOESN’T ANSWER THE STATUE POSE QUESTIONS

DID THE ARTIST ADD IN THE JOJO POSE AND HEART POSE AS A GAG??? AND SURVIVE RATIO SEEING THEM?? 

WORSE- DID RATIO COMMISSION THE POSES??? WHAT WAS THAT CONVERSATION EVEN LIKE??? DID HE HAVE TO POSE?? DOES THE ARTIST JUST HAVE AN ENTIRE SCRAPBOOK OF RATIO DOING DIFFERENT POSES FOR CONSTANT REFERENCE?

FUCK IT, DID AVENTURINE GET IN CONTACT WITH THE ARTIST AND PAY EVEN MORE MONEY FOR THE CUTESY POSES??

(Whole new thought process, the artist is making statues of Ratio for both Ratio AND Aventurine, and all the cute statues are actually commissions by Aventurine for his little Dr. Ratio idol crush shrine. There’s a constant slapstick comedy routine of Aventurine trying to hide them anytime Ratio comes over to his place and barely getting away with it. Does he ever come clean when they start dating? Do they start dating because Ratio finds the statues? Fuck it, if Ratio is the one making the statues and not an artist, does he teach Aventurine how to sculpt?? Does it become like something they do together to spend time?? Ok damn wait that’s kinda cute wait-)

WAIT ADDING ON TO THAT- DOES THAT MEAN FOLLOWING THIS THOUGHT PROCESS THAT AVENTURINE IS THE JOJO FAN???? HE’S A FUCKING JOTARO STAN???

(wait- brisk MC who’s rude to everyone but soft on those he cares about and has the muscles of a Greek god and eventually goes into academia, oh my fucking god Aventurine has a type)

PLEASE

I NEED TO KNOW WHERE ARE THESE STATUES COMING FROM

EVERYONE SEEMS TO KNOW ABOUT THEM, THEY AREN’T A SECRET

IS HIS HOUSE JUST FULL OF STATUES???

DOES HE HAVE A WHOLE-ASS GRECO-ROMAN-STYLE GARDEN FULL OF HIS OWN STATUES???

DOES THE ARTIST SEE A STATUE DISAPPEAR FROM THE GARDEN AND IMMEDIATELY KNOW RATIO USED HIS TECHNIQUE TO SLAM ONE DOWN BREAKING IT AND JUST GO “fucking hell man, I was just about to go on break! Now I need to start a new one!”

IS IT A HOBBY?? HOW THE FUCK DID HE GET INTO SCULPTING AS A HOBBY WITH HIS SCHEDULE???

ARE THEY GIFTS?? 

FROM WHO, STUDENTS??? ADMIRERS? FUCK IT, AVENTURINE???

DOES THE ARTIST BEING COMMISSIONED EVEN HAVE A LIFE OUTSIDE OF THE RATIO STATUES??? DO THEY EVEN HAVE THE ABILITY TO SCULPT ANYTHING OTHER THAN RATIO AT THIS POINT??? HAVE THEY SEEN ANY OTHER BEING OUTSIDE OF THEIR STUDIO AND THE HUNDREDS OF RATIO STATUES???

PLEASE I NEED SOMEONE TO ANSWER ME

[carriondell]

ratio excels in all that can be taught, and teaches all he excels at. while you certainly recognise his scientific talents (but then, what contrarian fool would deny them?), you hold no respect for what he dares call pedagogy.

he is rude, tactless, emotionally unaware to the point of outright cruelty towards the most unfortunate of his students. he expels few, as they tend to drop out before he loses hope for their improvement, though that is little comfort to crushed egos. the 0,01% who pass are rightfully lauded as geniuses on par with their stringent professor.

three auditoriums over, you teach engineering—nothing lifesaving the way ratio's innovations are. still, your name appears in the occasional publication, and your students are proud to learn from you. you did assist in designing and building many of the genius society's and intelligentsia guild's spacecrafts. you're proudest of your wards' achievements; each work, each project, each test, an occasion to climb to newer, brighter heights.

your colleagues decry your methods. coddling and pampering, shaping a generation of prissy engineers, ill-equipped for the universe. you've gotten into scuffles with jerks who claimed you were bloating your students' results and their doctorates ought all to be revoked.

"maybe my courses have a 99% passing rate because i'm an actually good professor." you've said that a solid dozen times, and gotten punched at least half of those times.

somehow, ratio has never been among your detractors. the reverse is true. you criticise the way he forgoes teaching for bashing students' merest mistakes, as if they would find illumination in insults, and though you have attempted to bring it up to him, his attitude has hardly improved, and his classroom retention even less so.

"knowledge shouldn't be bitter medicine," you rant, voice nasal from the nosebleed you're pinching away, as he inspects the nicks and bruises on your face. he nods absently, and you waggle a hand before his eyes. "you above all! listen! listen well and good, knowledge should be fun, an adventure, a reward—it should be sweet. why do you insist on making it such a miserable chore?"

"should you be antagonising the man currently tending to you?"

groaning, you whack his hands off. "forget it. i'm fine. and i'll just ring up a doctor if it gets worse."

"i'm a doctor."

"a different doctor, obviously."

you slip down to your feet and take a few steps, wading past him with some effort, as though trying to walk in a wild river, pushed about by currents rushing your way. he grips your arm when you stumble, but you shake him off.

"signs of a concussion," he says. "call the hospital."

you flip him the bird, but fetch your phone all the same.

ratio is left alone, fingers tinged with your blood, unused band-aids and disinfectant on the desk. for all his genius, he hasn't mastered the emotional and interpersonal skills you value so highly. he used to loathe niceness for niceness's sake—a sycophant's game. but you support your students so all may succeed and do not suffer one mean remark about them. he admires that: your kindness, your grit.

[pricegouge]

ur posts about dad nikolai have been festering in my head and all i can think about is his little girl being flirted with while they're out together by a cashier or something and how he reacts once theyre in the car. all possessive and talking about how she's all his.

Honestly much as he enjoys your fashion shows when he takes you out shopping (especially cause he knows the best way to get a perfect fit is to try stuff on and loves when you look your best), this is exactly why he prefers to just order whatever you want. Keeps his credit cards saved in your phone, even, so you don't feel embarrassed about all the cute little panties you buy. Just intercepts the packages at the door, inspects them for security reasons - you understand. Maybe he can use the same excuse next time you want to go out for a proper shopping trip. Spin some lie about rude little boys hiding behind cash wraps, who openly hit on you right in front of him. Brave, considering.

You're all pouty by the time he's corralled you back to the car. Parshivets. What was he supposed to do? Stand there and watch as that little runt tried his best to get your number? While cashing out your pretty new dresses, grubby hands creasing the fine, slinky silk because he wasn't paying enough attention to box them properly? When you weren't even the one dealing with him anyway, stood off to the side while your papa paid for your things, flustered and all but bringing your hands in embarrassment because you're far too polite to let someone down? Please. The boy's lucky Nik didn't pull him over the counter, leaned as he was over it, trying to see past the wall Nik had made of himself between the two of you.

Unprofessional was what it was, and he'd had no qualms letting the manager know, even if you'd thought he'd gone too far.

"Bad enough you were so mean to him," you'd huffed, but really he'd only said what you should have to begin with. He's been spoiling you, it's obvious now. Letting his pretty little malýshka get away with far too much.

Been letting you out of the house too much.

He's patient despite his anger. Waits until he's navigated out of the complex plaza parking lot, hand heavy on your thigh all the while. A warning just as much as it is a comfort to both of you. He does not want to hear any more excuses made for the runt.

When he's back on the highway, the drive easy enough the ratio of his attention shifts in your favor, he turns his dark eyes on you, bites back a grin when he feels your quad tense under his palm. You know, try to reason with him before he even starts. "It's not like I was gonna -."

"No," Nik agrees. Doesn't need to hear the rest of that sentence. "You wouldn't have."

"Papa, he was just being nice."

He damn near snorts. "Boys aren't nice without a reason."

"Well, maybe you aren't, but -."

"Have I not been nice?" he counters, heavy brow arched as he dares you to lie, say you haven't been spoiled rotten.

Struggles to keep an eye on the road when you challenge him. "Are you not after something?"

Clever. He forgets sometimes, how you see through him. See the way his eyes linger too long, his hands rest too heavily when you cuddle up next to him on the couch. It can be nice, though. Not always having to pretend.

Your fingers are cold when his hand finds yours, frigid little digits he takes the time to breathe hotly against when he pulls them up to his lips for a quick kiss. "Not after anything, radnaja. Already have it, remember?"

Another kiss. He keeps your hands entwined when he leans his weight into the center console, broad shoulder crowding you ever so slightly. "You're mine."

[khuzena]

Just a coworker

Dr ratio x g/n! reader (i tried)

Part 1, Part 2

cw. angst, super slow burn, they eventually get tgt, hurf/comfort, jealousy brr, reader is unhinged, mentions of drugs, kinda cringe but who cares I've written worse, not proofread, dr ratio is a pussy

a/n: i js wanna say fck SCHOOL FOR GIVING ME 6 PROJECTS DUE TOMORROW. THIS FIC IS MEH BUT TRUST IT GETS BETTER (hopefully…)

Veritas Ratio is a lonely man. Only having his books and his sculptures as friends— regarding the rest as no use for him.

Up till now, you've been nothing more than the pest who waves hi at him every morning, bringing him coffee every now and then. You must be scheming something, there's no way someone could ever be this nice without asking for a favour.

“Dr ratio!”

The alabaster headed man stared at you, even with that stone head of his, you can clearly feel his piercing gaze.

“What is it?”

Veritas groans in annoyance, what is it again?

Lately, you've been struggling to teach this subject. As well-versed you were in topics such as literature, history and the likes, it was true that you were above average with maths.

“I've been tutoring this kid after classes and well…”

He doesn't move, just listening intently.

“He's been asking about quantum mechanics and I don't know much about the topic so…”

“so?”

so?

“I was wondering if you can teach me it.”

God damn it, he has better things to do.

“Then read a book about it”

His eyes were trained on your figure as he saw you tense, just why him of all people?

“Dr ratio, just this once. I just need to learn the basics once and I won't bother you again!”

He closed his codex and turned the other way, ready to walk away from conversation.

“I have better things to do than humouring your foolish antics—”

“Please.”

Your hands fidget nervously as he paused before looking back at you, pondering whether to do you a favour.

“I'll think about it.”

By the time you blinked, he was gone.

The next day passed, you were at his door, clutching your teaching materials as you waited for veritas’ class to end.

He scrunched nose as annoyance rose in him like a tide, he could see you waiting at the window and checking the time every now and then.

“That ends our discussion for today.”

His voice echoing on the walls as the bell rang, his students already out the door.

After a good 10 minutes, most of the students were out the door as he was left alone with himself (+ those eyes of yours that never seem to leave him alone)

“It's rude to stare.”

His comment caught you off guard, the corners of your lips twitching nervously as you hid behind the wall again— shit, he caught you staring…

Veritas let out a sigh before cleaning his desk of the sparse test papers he's collected last week.

A moment of silence passed before you mustered up the courage to enter the spacious room, it was… quiet to say the least.

“Dr. Ratio—”

“I'll tutor you but with one condition.”

Sweat trickled down your forehead as you nervously anticipated what he's about to say. (Did I mention he paused to rile you up?)

“You,”

A click on his cabinet was heard before he turned at your direction to get a better look at you.

“That I won't have to tutor you again next time, just this once”

It was odd, a teacher asking for tutoring from a fellow teacher? It wasn't uncommon but it certainly irked him of the thought. You could just read a book about it but you'd rather take his precious hours in his day for something you could do yourself.

You let out a sigh of relief.

“whew… I thought you were going to refuse.”

“Do you want me to?”

You shook your head no, gripping your satchel tightly.

“Tomorrow at the faculty room after classes—”

When you blinked, he was already behind you. Was he a magician or something?!?

“—Don't be late.”

Then, the door closed abruptly, now it was only you in the room.

…

The next day, classes already ended and you cleaned up your desk to get to the faculty room.

As you slid the door open, he was already waiting for you.

“What're you doing?”

Veritas moved another chess piece on the board, eating the white team's queen.

“What does it look like I'm doing?”

Why can't he just be nice for once?

“Whatever, so… do we start reviewing?”

You pulled the chair opposite to his and sat down. He didn't reply, only tapping his feet.

“Your turn.”

“Do I just?—”

“Just move a piece.”

Fine then. There were barely any pieces left on the board, leaving you with no other choice as you hid your king at the corner of the board.

“Checkmate.”

There was a visible annoyance on your face, making veritas chuckle.

“Seriously? When are you going to start tutoring me? I came here to learn something— not some stupid chess game”

“First of all, chess isn't stupid”

Before you knew it, veritas flicked your forehead.

“Second of all, learn patience.”

“ow!”

Veritas hid away the board and grabbed all the books needed, pulling out some notes and highlighters for you.

“Read”

The man in front of you flipped the pages and pointed at the highlighted paragraph for you. Was he making you read out loud? Were you 10 or something?

“Do I really have to?”

His fingers tapped aggressively on the board, his patience was thinning and you weren't even past the first page yet.

“Just do it.”

…

Who could've guessed two hours later you would be in tears, notes sprawled all over the table and veritas shouting at you.

“Idiot.”

He commented on your work before rewriting the entire thing for you and repeating it again.

“God dammit we're not even past the 20th page yet you're here crying like a child.”

Sniffles echoed in the room, only his lamp illuminating the room. You checked your phone and it was already 8 pm.

“Now read.”

“Q-quantum mechanics…”

He clenched his jaw, raising his voice at you before you could continue.

“You imbecile, not that— can't you read?!? Its wave function!”

“Whatever!”

Before he could react, you stood up, bag already in hand and walking away.

“We're not done yet.”

“I don’t care.”

Just like that, you were gone.

…

Despite you running off yesterday… There you were sitting on that same chair with the alabaster head man right in front of you.

“Again?”

You bit your lip nervously before tightening the grip on your pen.

“Yeah.”

Veritas nodded as he placed down his codex and walked to the sprawled shelves at his desk, his fingers tracing over the books (those books were rotting on those shelves, too dusty he had to wipe them)

“here.”

He took the book off the shelf and thrusted it into your hands.

‘The nonlinear schrodinger equation’

“Let's start with the ‘weakly nonlinear dispersion relation’ topic.”

Time flies by as he explains each term to you, giving definition after definition about each equation in front of you.

“Here, page 24.”

He pointed at the first equation but your eyes couldn't leave his stone head.

For an intimidating man, he's getting quite patient with you.

“— and let's compute the coefficients, after that,”

You couldn't stop wondering what he looked like under that stone head. It's hot out here, he must be sweating a tsunami in there. Is he handsome? or maybe he's wearing that stone head because he looks that bad?

“—the quantum mechanical pressure becomes negligible in the ‘semiclassical’ where nabla and—”

He hit your head with a codex, with no hesitation at all.

“ow!”

Oh shit— he must've noticed you staring.

“What were we reviewing?”

uh…

You gulped nervously, looking down at the page, you guys were already at page 26?!?

“0 points.”

He smacked you but with less force, though enough to leave a bruise.

“that hurt…”

“Then listen, don't waste my time.”

Under that alabaster head of his, a small smile formed from the corner of his lips due to the amusing sight before him.

“You're annoying, let's go over the fluid-dynamical form again.”

You weren't that boring after all.

…

You both were already at page 31, which was slow progress (at least to him, he can finish the book in under 3 hours.), yet still progress nonetheless.

“Do you get it now?”

It was already 9:58 pm, shit. You both got carried away…

“Yeah.”

Veritas handed the book over to you and hid away his highlighters.

“Go review at home— you better finish page 40.”

You nod, shoving the book into your satchel and your water bottle.

Today was… fun.

As you walked outside, one foot already out the door, you looked back.

“What?”

“and…”

There was a moment of silence, none of you moving before your voice shook,

“Thank you.”

He didn't say anything back, only putting back his folders in his bag as he removed his attention from you. You shook your head and just walked home.

…

It was the third day of him tutoring you, you were getting quite good.

“And how do you do the hamilton equation?”

There was a weird habit you did, you would bite your pen or sometimes click it nonstop due to stress (which you did now, don't do it too much though, you'll piss off veritas.)

You let out a soft hum before confidently writing the equation, no error in sight.

“And these quantities are called?”

“They're uh… momentas, right?”

“20 points— you're getting good at this.”

Receiving praise from others came by often, but to get one from the Dr. Veritas Ratio himself? You could wish.

Your eyes were glued at the scratch paper, unable to contain your smile; the aeons definitely smiled down on you and blessed you with his attention for today.

He takes note of this, but doesn't comment on that any further, only flipping the pages.

…

The fourth day. It was 2 pm, 3 hours earlier than the usual tutor hours. A new coffee shop opened in the food court at the university, which turned into the new buzz (the old coffee shops were shit.)

The line was long, your legs were about to give up but your students would occasionally suggest this shop, saying it's definitely better than the instant coffee at the teacher's lounge.

After 5 more minutes, it was finally your turn to order.

“Good afternoon! What can I get ya?”

The menu was definitely diverse, candy corn flavoured coffee? That's new.

“I'll take your special cappuccino”

The cheerful cashier jotted down your order, asking for your name then running to the back.

You sat down at some table and took out your laptop, fixing your schedules for this weekend.

“For ___?”

Eh? That was fast. It only took them 3 minutes to make your order despite the heavy line? Impressive.

“Thank you.”

You smiled and snatched the cup from the counter and walked back to your seat.

It tasted funny. Coffee jelly in cappuccino with sprinkles on top? At Least it tasted good.

“And here I was wondering where you are.”

“ack!”

You looked up and saw veritas in front of you, looming over you with his codex behind him after he hit you.

“that hurt…”

He sighed and sat down next to you while you rubbed the bruised area.

“Stop hitting people with your codex damn it!”

“I find it far more interesting to use my codex to get your attention.”

“Weirdo.”

He chuckled at the way scoffed, sipping your coffee and typing some requirements on an excel sheet.

“Anyways, why were you looking for me?”

He leaned back on the couch, before responding,

“Nothing, I was just wondering where the idiot was.”

“You little—”

Only a soft sigh left your lips as you continued to type, veritas beside you reading his codex and none of you saying a word.

Though this peaceful moment was short lived as the bell rang, signalling that the two of you had to go back to your respective classes.

Veritas sat up, closing his book.

“It's time for me to go.”

“Oh yeah.”

Veritas was gone in a blink of an eye, what's up with him disappearing so suddenly 24/7?!?

…

5 pm.

You were patiently waiting in the faculty room, what was taking veritas so long?

“You're late”

Veritas rolled his eyes— wait.

His stone head was… was this really the veritas ratio? He had nice purple hair, his eyes, he looked so… beautiful.

No way.

“When are you going to stop staring?”

“Oh— uh.”

You chuckled nervously before forcing a smile as he sat down in front of you.

“Let's continue where we let off.”

The sound of flipping pages reverberated across the room, your eyes locked onto his face. He would occasionally click his tongue at some parts of the book, guiding you through each equation as his face was close to yours; enough to feel his breath on your skin.

“—because its transformation φ is a symmetry and thus preserves the Lagrangian L and the action ,S=∫L”

Veritas ratio leaned closer to you, your hands touching as he got closer,

“Do you get it now?”

You didn't. You were too focused on his face, with every wrinkle of his brows, the tiniest details of his jaw and hell, even his eyes. How could you even focus? With his face inches away from yours? No way. The man right next to you stares at you, tapping his fingers on the mahogany table; he repeated himself.

“I said, do you get it now?”

Like the air was sucked out of your lungs, your last card was to lie but he was smart enough to not fall for that.

“Y-yes”

“Then what were we reviewing just now?”

He rolled his eyes hearing your mind blank out and confused ‘uhhs’ escaped your lips. You flinch from his harsh tone, as the cold stare turned into a glare.

“We should be reviewing the noether theorem, not my face.”

He made you solve equation after equation, his gaze not leaving you once as he crumpled your papers even after one minor mistake, “Idiot”, “Do it again.”, and “Are you really paying attention?” Constantly rang in your ears, you were not sure whether you asked for a tutoring session or a three hour insulting session from the revered professor.

“I'm sorry.”, He sighed at your visible frustration as you apologised through gritted teeth. He started to pity you when you struggled with just the terms at the next lesson. Was this theorem that hard? He dropped his pen and closed the book.

“Let’s end today’s session.”

A look of relief appeared on your face as he said those words, clearly, he’ll give you a break—

“Just read this book instead. It gives a more in-depth explanation”

— or not. He thrusted the book in your hands and put on his alabaster head, making you raise an eyebrow,

“What? You can’t seem to focus without this on”

You laughed an awkward chuckle while sliding the book in your satchel, a small squeak was heard when he stood up and moved his chair at his desk.

“Tomorrow again?”

“Sure.”

…

Veritas tapped his feet aggressively as time past by, you were late by 20 minutes, by now he would've left but for some reason he's feeling nice today that he'll wait for you.

The faculty room door slid open as light footsteps entered the room.

“Sorry ‘m late.”

You smelled different today. That would sound creepy to the average person but despite the tight alabaster sculpture that covers his face, he could smell your perfume and that he's gotten used to your scent by now.

“Did you wear something new?”

“Come again?”

He took one glance at you and shook his head and shifted his attention to the complex arithmetics on his codex.

“Hey, what did you mean by that?”

It was hard to ignore you as he tried to mute your voice but he let out an inaudible sigh before taking a quick glance at you.

“I meant your perfume, idiot.”

“No need to be rude.” you scoffed and placed down your bag at your desk.

He finds himself eager for a response as your right hand shuffled in your bag looking for the perfume bottle,

“I just tried something new.”

“Oh?”

He leans over the table to take a closer look at the bottle, inspecting it with a skeptical look one he's glad you cannot see through his sculpted head.

“It was a gift from one of our coworkers here”

There was a loud slamming sound that rang in the room when you dropped the materials Veritas made you read, it was a pain highlighting everything.

“From who?”

Why was he suddenly interested? He's not one to ask about anyone's affairs so suddenly, not that he'd care about something so miniscule about you like perfume yet you humour him.

“From Amir, the history prof guy?”

“I see.” For some reason, he finds himself feeling annoyed after hearing who you got it from. Why would you accept a gift from that idiot? He's a far better history professor, definitely? definitely.

Hours passed yet he couldn't concentrate. Not with that foul stench of your new perfume of yours.

Dr. Ratio scrunched his nose in disgust as he continued to guide you through each and every lesson, harsher than usual— you didn't know why.

“Wrong answer, 2 points.”

Veritas smacked your arm with his heavy codex and snatched your answer sheet, crumpling it and tossing it in the bin.

“Do it again.”

This fucker. You were starting to lose your resolve but you do not falter under his scrutinising gaze.

Again and again. Another 30 minutes yet your answers didn't seem ‘perfect’ enough.

Veritas clicked his tongue in annoyance as you failed to answer another simple question again

“Are you even paying attention?”

“If you didn't yell at me every minute I would've”

You continued to write more equations as he rolled his eyes at your reply, his eyes scanned your work and it was okay (atleast to his standards).

His eyes squinted, looking for any mistake but there was none, he gave up.

“50 points”, he spoke in a defeated tone.

“Just 50?”

“0 points then”

“Oh come on.”

It was hell getting tutored by him.

A/N: ITS TWO PARTS COS FUCK TUMBLR AND TOLD ME THERES A WORD LIMIT LOL. THE FULL FIC WAS LIKE 6.4K WORDS OR SHIT DAMN. ITS SO CRINGE ONG IMMA POST PART TWO TMRW GOD. IM LAGG>NG SO NAD RN HELP

[chouettecrivaine]

Love's the Only Medicine [Honkai: Star Rail]

Fandom: Honkai: Star Rail

Characters: Dr. Ratio

Notes: SO. First off, those of you waiting on Lyney fic, it is postponed for now because I'm stuck :( but for now I'm working on a Dr. Ratio fic and I'm having a little trouble so these are my headcanons for how a good/healthy relationship with him would actually work because I love to write fluff all the time <3

So, how does one go about romancing the Dr. Veritas Ratio?

∘∙⊱⋅•⋅Have independence. Dr. Ratio is a busy man, and while he'd of course value your relationship (why else would he be in a relationship in the first place?), he wouldn't fare well with someone who is the clingy type. A relationship that would work best for him is one where you share in each other's missions, victories, and defeats as best as you can without melding your lives into one singular identity. With the exception of certain instances where you worked with him prior to the relationship starting/getting serious (though even then, he might drop the idea of separating your work paths a little bit to ensure there is no space for rational, scientific endeavors to be tangled with personal emotions), Dr. Ratio is perfectly content to with a relationship where some aspects of your lives don't always cross. Of course he wants to spend time with you! He just appreciates his own ability to act independently and keep work and personal matters separate. (Plus I feel like he'd find independence kinda attractive anyway :P)

∘∙⊱⋅•⋅Keep him grounded. Dr. Ratio gets lost in his thoughts frequently. He understands that facts and calculations can only go so far in the real world (though they could go MUCH FURTHER in his opinion, hence his cosmic mission to eradicate foolishness) but he loves finding the rational, mathematical answer to things. It'll be up to you to navigate a little bit more expertly on this plane. If he's trying to piece together a solution to a planet's hunger crisis, well, maybe let him sort through his lofty thoughts then. But if he's simply ignoring the world and thinking for the sake of it, you'll be able to get away with poking him out of the stupor and getting him to actually communicate with the world around him.

∘∙⊱⋅•⋅Be the people person, but don't apologize for him. Veritas has a tendency to rub people the wrong way. He's rude, abrasive, and arrogant. When others say such things without realizing you're nearby, you AGREE with them. But these are all things he knows, too. In most cases, how the reception of information makes somebody feel doesn't particularly concern him. But sometimes, especially now that he's actively placing himself in the social situation of being in a relationship, talking with people in a constructive way is necessary. He's fine with defaulting to you in these instances if it makes you feel useful. However, it is simply a matter of leaving a task to the one who knows better. If you start apologizing for his silence or a prior brash attitude, though, then he gets a little prickly. He stands by his behavior! Don't make him out to be someone you should have to apologize for or ashamed of.

∘∙⊱⋅•⋅Have clear communication skills. Listen. Veritas is an eloquent speaker, and he says exactly what he means to. However...good communication is more than just saying words that mean exactly what you want them to. You have to present information in a way that others can receive, and that's where he falls flat. The onus will fall to you to exemplify that sort of skill. Now, you don't have to teach him step-by-step how to talk nicely, but being able to do so yourself and give him a gentle nudge when it really matters will go a long way in ensuring you're talking to each other and not at each other.

∘∙⊱⋅•⋅Argue with him. Like, not actually. Argue with him academically. Veritas has stated that he feels incorrect on a matter if people agree with him. So don't agree with him! Don't spark debate just for the sake of it, but you shouldn't be afraid to voice your opinion when it goes against his. Dissent is the forebear of accuracy, after all. He won't be gentle with his arguments, but he never means to condescending when you're sharing your scholarly ideas. (Plus, this will help you get accustomed to when he is actually trying to argue you in a less casual context)

∘∙⊱⋅•⋅His love language? Quality time. Wanted all across the galaxy to solve this crisis or that, Dr. Ratio is a busy, busy man. So when you come in at the top of his list of priorities, that's how you know he's in deep. If you receive a certain love language particularly well, he can adapt! But his default is both to give and receive quality time. Even just time together that isn't attentive and specifically for each other can mean a lot to him. If you're both busy with work, he can be placated by attending to your duties but staying in the same room as each other. Don't worry about distracting him, either - as of late, he finds himself distracted when you aren't around, and at ease when you are.

∘∙⊱⋅•⋅Have a hunger for knowledge. It can be intimidating to hear him denounce all fools of the universe when he doesn't give many specific answers as to what a fool is. Veritas doesn't care about a lack of knowledge; what he cares about is a lack of awareness and a lack of trying. He'd be a fool himself if he pretended as though everyone had the same access to the same level of education, or that there weren't people who gravitated towards certain skills. After all, he's widely regarded as a genius, but you don't exactly see him releasing academic journals on any musical studies, do you? (Now, could he write one? Probably. But that's not the point.) As tough of a teacher as he is, what he's after is undying tenacity; that you never falter in the face of obstacles, and that you never place your scholarship on a shelf so high it winds up collecting dust, unused. If you don't know something, that's fine - go figure it out! Don't just say 'I don't know' and leave the matter at that. Learning through experience is an incredibly strong way of gathering knowledge. Just...don't expect him to be any nicer about your lack of prior knowledge just because you are close to him or you are trying to remedy that. At the end of the day, you did fall in love with a guy who's just kind of an ass sometimes :/

∘∙⊱⋅•⋅Be honest. This is one that could go for anybody in any relationship, but it is a top priority for Dr. Ratio. He's based his entire life on searching and spreading absolute truth in every corner of the cosmos. Normally, this takes the form of objective, empirically provable fact. But he finds it frustrating if you won't be honest about your feelings or what you want, how is he to know what to do? You'll have him acting like a fool with your refusal to face your own truth! (This is, of course, a roundabout way of saying that he doesn't have it in him to be playing games. Be straightforward with him, please. It'll be much easier for the both of you that way.)

∘∙⊱⋅•⋅Don't be afraid to get a little poetic on him. Veritas is a scientific man. He understands artistic endeavors, of course, but that isn't how his brain is wired. He operates in verifiable conclusions and building hypotheses, not the more abstract patterns of intuition or leading by the heart. He can analyze and understand such things, but if you want him to be able to appreciate the aesthetic beauty of the world, you will probably have to lead by example. You won't change his way of thinking, but maybe if you see a rare bird one day, he'll appreciate the opportunity to see something so rare and beautiful instead of analyzing how far it has deviated from its normal breeding grounds.

∘∙⊱⋅•⋅Flirting is a game, but love isn't. Don't be so dull with him! Dr. Ratio would love an opportunity to subtly ash his wits about yours in a little flirtatious back-and-forth. Both in the early stages and a more established relationship, Dr. Ratio loves a good challenge and could spend all night just trying to out-flirt the other. Regardless of whether or not you're one to get flustered, he loves your reactions anyway. Sheepishness, frustration, no emotion whatsoever - whatever you feel,, he finds how you try to school your expressions into complete apathy amusing. He is hard to fluster himself, but if he continues the same line of teasing in the morning the next day, you can assume he's been thinking about you all night. However! Dr. Ratio often expects people, especially those precious few who he respects, to operate on his level. If he's truly buckling down for the long game, he'll make sure to make his feelings clear. Flirtation is always on the table, but "playing hard to get" or trying to "keep him guessing" as you near a truly established relationship is a turn off. Flirt for fun, not to manipulate his interest in you. Believe him, he would've left by now if he wanted to.

∘∙⊱⋅•⋅Look beyond his scientific approach to matters of the heart. In loving anybody, you'll have to learn how to read between certain lines. Even if you are a pure-blooded emotionally charged person, Veritas can only meet you halfway on the road to compromise. Take the time to study how he speaks and what he means- concise as he is, speaking so straightforwardly all the time often has an opposite affect on his words when he's trying to be romantic. Learn the ways he looks after you and tries to make your life easier without asking; notice how he spends a large portion of his available time with you, even if it means dragging you along to discussing things with people who he feels are completely beneath his IQ; realize that his tone may always be steadfast and dominating, but he never speaks out to shut you down or demean you the way he does to others. If you can translate all the little ways he uses to show you how much he values you, then you may just find yourself in a relationship far more enriching than you'd expect.

[sugarcryztal]

Hihi! Im Hie and i would like to request a nsfw romantic honkai star rail matchup, I go by she/her pronouns and I’m straight, I’m a busy person with my studies

I’m usually the leader of group projects and people trust me with higher positions in clubs! Unfortunately that also means that I often have a lot of pent up stress and I get pissed easily some days…I like cosplaying, socialising, making new friends and having a busy schedule(I don’t like being bored) I dislike people who are rude and people who I can’t read easily..? I like teasing people and they describe me as sarcastic and a fun person to be around.

That’s all thank you sm!!! Have a nice day <333

LMAOOO I’M SORRY I GIGGLED A LITTLE BUT HERE YOU GO! SORRY FOR THE WAIT ^^’

warning for nsfw, reader discretion is advised

Your HSR match will be. . .

VERITAS RATIO !

wow he’s so sexy hahahahhahahaha i mean what

SFW

⟡ Basically I just thought “what do nerds like” and I SAY NERDS LIKE DR. VERITAS RATIO!

⟡ Seriously though I just think you guys would mix well because of you both having an academic or work related background.

⟡ When he was first crushing on you he hated you.

⟡ As a joke, mostly… But he was so frustrated with himself! How could be such a fool in love!

⟡ I actually fully believe he avoided you when he first started crushing on you, but only for a little bit because he quickly got tired of beating around the bush.

⟡ Also because you were the leader for one of the projects you both had just been working on together in a group…

⟡ He never lets his feelings get in the way of work though, nuh uh uh!

⟡ Once you’re both done with the project, he confesses.

⟡ During his confession he’s wearing his stupid statue head so you won’t see how embarrassed he is. And thank fully you reciprocated!

⟡ So now you’re both dating… Now what?

⟡ Bro has NO relationship experience ☠️

⟡ I mean seriously, you’re probably one of first very few people he acknowledged to be good enough to be his partner.

⟡ He gets the hang of it eventually, but don’t expect him to use any pet names because he refuses to.

⟡ Unfortunately… Your boyfriend tends to be mean on accident. He doesn’t understand how harsh his tone can be sometimes, so he might need to be taught a little bit.

⟡ He definitely has a soft spot for you though. And I mean a VERY soft spot.

⟡ After a hard day of work, he’ll do anything you want to do. Especially if you had to deal with any of the idiots.

⟡ Take a bath together? Absolutely. Want a massage? The bed is ready for you to lay on! Need some time alone? Hmmm… Okay. He’ll respect that.

⟡ His love language is acts of service if I haven’t made that obvious btw

⟡ Will also let you touch his hair, just please try not to ruin it. He works very hard to maintain it which is why it’s super fluffy.

⟡ He doesn’t like meeting new people much, but he tries to be at least acquainted with your friends. H

⟡ He will drive you to hangouts though! If you do like hanging out with your friends a lot.

⟡ Always reminds you to clear some days on your schedule so you can take some time to relax, although he shouldn’t be talking because he also works a lot.

⟡ Tries to match his schedule with yours so he can spend more time with you! Will never admit it though and just calls it a “coincidence.”

⟡ If you try to tease him about it his face will turn pink and a small “Tch.” will leave his mouth.

⟡ When you have your days where you’re just angry at everything, he’ll offer you quiet company. He’ll hold you close in bed and let you rest against him until you fall asleep or take a nap.

⟡ Will also give you your space too. Don’t expect him to sleep on the couch though. He’ll just sleep on the bed with his faced to you.

It had been another exhausting day of work, you huffed softly as you set your things down near the entry way and shuffled your way to the living room where you saw your boyfriend, Veritas, sitting on the couch reading a book.

He looked out of the corner of his eye when you sat down next to him and began to scroll on your phone. You looked so exhausted. “That kind of day, huh?” Veritas said, his voice slightly softer than usual.

You nodded and said, “It was just exhausting.” Veritas hummed in response. He set his book down on the small coffee table before gently picking you up and sitting you on his lap.

“You know you can always talk to me, right?” He mumbled to you. He gently guided your head to rest against his broad shoulder. “I’m always here to carry the weight with you, no matter how small you think it is.”

You guys just sat there. In the silence and comfort of one another. He kissed your forehead softly as you drifted off into sleep.

NSFW

⟡ Soooo… About that stress? 👀👀

⟡ Now he would never do anything without your consent, duh.

⟡ But… He suggests that if you’re both pent up he can maybe… Finger the stress away?

⟡ You’re also sitting in his lap. No matter what. He just loves how big he is against you! How you’re so cute and defenseless against him!

⟡ I know I said he doesn’t like using pet names, but that doesn’t apply to bed activities.

⟡ Specifically likes calling you good girl, pretty girl, cockslut, and whore (in a non condescending way)

⟡ Loves restraining and blindfolding you if you like that, that way only he can see how pathetic you are with him.

⟡ Also prefers topping, he never wants to be bottom. He just loves worshipping your body and making you both feel good!

Veritas currently had you writhing and panting in his lap. He chuckled at your weak and sweaty state. “Tired already? Come on… You’re still so wet you pretty whore.”

You whined in response, but that didn’t stop his fingers! Pumping and scissoring you with his two big fingers! He kissed your neck as his other hand rubbed your thigh, “You’re doing so good, pretty girl.”

He watched as your body convulsed and you struggled against your restraints as another orgasm washed over you. He darkly chuckled and pressed a kiss to your cheek. “Such a dirty whore.” It was going to be a long night because he had a lot more stress to get out.

08.24.24

[tempered-chill]

deep dive character sheet

stolen from: ree lol tagging: everyone!

NAME: YANQING

BODY

height: 158cm / 5′2

strength ★★★★☆ (that's a soldier right there and he held his own against two high cloud quintet members. let's give him the credit he deserves.)

dexterity ★★★★☆ (bro is a swordsman i think i can give him 4 dexterity)

health ★★★★☆ (he's in general good shape even if he forgets to eat lunch sometimes because he's so locked in)

energy ★★★★★ (he's consistently trying to do better i think he gets a five out of five here)

beauty cuteness! ★★★★★ (HES MY SON OKAY I LOVE HIM)

style ★☆☆☆☆ (wears the same thing EVERY DAY)

hygiene ★★★☆☆ (hes a teenage boy and he sweats all the time training his hygeine is not great)

SKILLS

perception ★★★★☆ (can be slightly dense sometimes and social cues can occasionally fly over his head, but he's great at noticing things in the heat of battle to survive)

communication ★★★☆☆ (had to get good at this for diplomacy but also he's still learning)

persuasion ★★☆☆☆ (not his strong suit but maybe that's just because he's not very socially strong)

mediation ★★★☆☆ (i think he's okay at this but also not great)

literacy ★★★☆☆ (i hc that he likes to write poetry but it is not his priority at all)

creativity ★★★★★ (making up new sword forms for himself to try out and uses a flying sword in creative ways in battle he deserves this five also haiku writer i promise)

cooking ☆☆☆☆☆ (dear god never let him in the kitchen)

tech savvy ★★☆☆☆ (he's a little good with it because he texts regularly but probably also doesn't know everything)

combat ★★★★☆ (obv needs to improve but also please he has lived through so much already)

survival ★★★★★ (living through blade and jingliu is nothing to scoff at and probably could still fend for himself)

stealth ★☆☆☆☆ (not really his thing at all)

street smarts ★★★☆☆ (jing yuan trained him kinda and he wouldnt fall for obvious scams actually but like still is somewhat of a child)

luck ★★★☆☆ (lucky jing yuan picked him up, not so lucky to run into blade and jingliu)

handling animals ★★★★☆ (LOVES CATS AND THEY LOVE HIM)

pacifying children ★★☆☆☆ (awkward as hell about it)

MIND

intelligence ★★★☆☆ (i think yanqing is more intelligent than people give him credit for in terms of battle ideas & survival, but when it comes to people he falls a little short)

happiness ★★☆☆☆ (haha i would actually rate this a 2.5 more than anything? getting back up on his feet but still not very happy atp in this timeline)

spirituality ★★★☆☆ (bro has probably seen spirits)

confidence ★★★☆☆ (i think he has his confidence back a little but not to the level that it was beforehand)

humor ★★★☆☆ (idk honestly. i think he has a solid sense of humour?)

anxiety ★★☆☆☆ (not necessarily anxious. just hardworking)

patience ★★☆☆☆ (when dr ratio said 'patience breeds success' yanqing was NOT listening)

passion ★★★★★ (SWORDS FOREVEVVEVRVVRRRRR)

nice         ★☆☆☆☆ mean

brave       ★☆☆☆☆ cowardly

pacifist     ☆☆☆★☆ violent (bro is a soldier)

thoughtful ☆☆☆★☆ impulsive (average teenage experience part 2 electric boogaloo) 

agreeable ☆☆★☆☆ contrary (right in the middle, depends on how he's feeling)

idealistic   ☆☆★☆☆ pragmatic (landed in the middle after having his ass handed to him by jingliu)

frugal        ☆☆☆☆★ big spender (BRO NEEDS TO BEG JIING YUAN FOR EXTRA MONEY BECAUSE HE SPENDS ALL OF IT ON SWORDS)

extrovert   ☆★☆☆☆ introvert (loves spending time around other people but also values his personal time)

collected   ☆☆★☆☆ wild (a good middleground here)

ambitious / possessive / stubborn / jealous / decisive / perfectionist

SOCIAL

charisma ★★★☆☆ (hes just a little fella but sucks kinda at socializing sometimes)

empathy ★★★★☆ (highly empathetic because i said so)

generosity ★★★★☆

wealth ★☆☆☆☆ (STOP SPENDING ALL OF YOUR MONEY ON SWORDS)

honest  ☆★☆☆☆ deceptive (a very honest young man your honour but makes sure not to be too harsh)

leader   ☆★☆☆☆ follower (see: lieutenant status)

polite    ★☆☆☆☆  rude (a very polite young man!!!)

political ☆★☆☆☆ indifferent (technically has to be a part of the political realm due to being jing yuan's retainer)

BELIEFS

higher power ★★★☆☆ (i think hes generally faithful but doesn't think about it all too much)

fate/destiny ★★★☆☆ (thinks about it a lot and has no fucking clue)

magic ★★★★★ (ICE MAGIC HELLO)

soulmates ☆☆☆☆☆ (does not gaf about romance nor does he think about it)

good and evil ★★★★★ (VERY justice-oriented little guy)

luck ★★★☆☆ (ehhh sorta doesn't think about it too hard either)

PRIORITIES

family ★★★★☆ (forever grateful to jing yuan for what he's done, views him as a father)

friends ★★★☆☆ (doesn't have many but he does value them)

love ☆☆☆☆☆ (aroace yanqing coming through)

home ★★★★☆ (home is something worth protecting)

health ★★☆☆☆ (training first)

praise ★★★★★ (you... saw this coming, didn't you?)

justice ★★★★★ (you also saw this coming)

truth ★★★☆☆ (honesty is important to him)

power ★★★☆☆ (as in physical fighting prowess, yes. political power? no)

fame ★★☆☆☆ (does crave it a little)

wealth ★★★☆☆ (so he can buy more swords)

others' opinions ★★★★★ (craves praise)

[ravenlexis]

Hi! I hope i'm not bothering you

I read what you wrote about ratirine and i was wondering one thing: in the fic you spoke about, i cant help but feel like the characters are super out of character.

Is it really a ship name issue? I feel like it was just one of those "meh" fics you didnt really enjoy (which is valid, obviously).

Unless i missed something in what you said?

Thanks for your time have a nice day :3

hi anon! it's totally fine to send asks, especially since i leave mine open.

i think i might not be explaining the fic correctly or giving it justice with my "retelling" of it, considering that i typed that post on my way to work.

if it's one of those 'meh' fics, as you put it, i wouldn't be posting about it at all. creating content for fellow fans is already a daunting task, since everyone has their own opinion on things. discouraging anyone who had put their time and effort into their art, who had shared the result of that effort without any compensation, is absolutely vile. new creators should be given time and constructive feedback so they can polish their skills, bcs experience is the best teacher. even established creators can be discouraged if their art is disrespected!

i've seen so many creators in so many fandoms stop creating solely bcs how negatively their fellow fans treated them. it's always baffling to me that people can be so rude and demanding to someone who is essentially a stranger, who had no obligation to share something that they created for free.

if my post came across as a complaint or an unwanted criticism, that's on me and i will definitely apologise for singling out that author's fic.

but i think i had expressed my appreciation for a few aspects of the fic in my post and i absolutely did enjoy that fic up until that certain point. i stopped reading bcs it doesn't fit with how i view them as a couple. that's all. i don't have any problems with that fic, just that it isn't my cup of tea.

the author themselves is an entertaining storyteller! i kept reading since i wanted to give it an honest chance and i stopped reading when it became clear that my view for ratio and aventurine is much different to the author's. i am not the target audience and that's that.

i only mentioned that fic bcs of how it differs from what i usually prefer to read, and that thought caused me to reflect on how dynamics between characters differs based on who fits what role, and how that impact a creator's work consciously (or maybe subconsciously!) in their portrayal for the ship.

anyways, your ask got me thinking and reflecting on my choice of words in that post. i will definitely be more careful on how i convey my opinions next time!

if you want to read it for yourself, dm me and i'll send you the link! maybe you'll enjoy it more than i did.

thanks for this, anon! have a great time, whether it's early morning or late at night or anything in between wherever you are!

[picklebunbun]

Hi, I just read your Dr Ratio fix and it was soooo good! I love it omg <3 It made me question though, are you ever planing on doing a second part in the future? I hope you have a nice day and sorry if it was rude to ask!

you are so sweet! yes, there will be a part two, I have other ideas for other stories however, and I just started my first year in highschool so everything has been a little messy, but, I will try to update as soon as possible !

[coral-nerd]

okay, rant-anon here, thank you so much for answering :D

and so sorry for the incoming long rant right back :D

I'm honestly a chronic restarter of games so I haven't actually gotten through year 1 yet (yet, I swear I'll get there soon) but I've played the beginning of the game a bunch of times now, so pretty much the main impression that I usually get is that everything just feels so *big* at the beginning - I remember feeling really really overwhelmed during my first playthrough, then a little less the next time, and now I have it figured out to the point where I've finally stopped worrying about rushing stuff and I'm just having fun now

I agree with your point of it being meant to be slow-paced in terms of gameplay, because wow, I spent so so so much time trying to win balap karung when it was still 1.0 (I feel like something about the minigame has changed since then? I think the bar doesn't speed up as much anymore or smth but that's irrelevant) and got so frustrated :D so I'm definitely playing it more relaxed now, just wanting to take my time when I know that things aren't going to run away from me if I don't do them immediately

one major pet peeve I have is fishing. oh my god I hate fishing so far because it feels so tedious for such a tiny reward T-T I really hope it improves as the rank goes up or something, because right now (since I've never gotten the end-game stuff) the fishing is just a four to one ratio of trash to fish, and I have to donate/offer most of the catch I get so fishing day usually ends up feeling more like a waste (I've decided not to fish until I get a better rod or smth, because this frustrates me to no end)

On another hand, though, I love the art and the different areas, it all feels so bright and so nice and does a really good job of distracting me from real life :'D

So far I've really loved the mines, though, it feels like a parallel with diving except to me, it's just more fun, I don't know if it's the sound the rocks make when they break or there's just more immediate reward, but that's how I feel (I just cleared the mines in mid-summer year 1, it's so fun to mine :D)

speaking of diving - I'm kinda mixed about it? I love the concept, I don't love the mechanic *per se*; I really enjoy collecting the little beacons (forgot the name) and I like the critters - I feel like the beacon paths can get a bit excessive towards the end (osmium and gold areas) with them circling like the whole map before they finally settle T-T

I also feel like with the merfolk, it's kind of out of hand? I have literally no reason to visit the kingdom (other than the very beautiful and lovely npcs ofc) now that I've opened it, and it just feels a liiiittle bit like a chore at the moment, but thankfully not enough to make me hate it, so I'm bearing with it right now

I do love having the chance to get my own mermaid tail, though, that's a fun one :D

...you're apologizing for the thing I specifically requested??? Rude!

That feeling of Coral Island being so BIG has definitely put a lot of people off it! And it just kinda keeps Being big, getting bigger and bigger, and then just- suddenly stops. And then there's nothing. And it feels so Weird.

So in this case I think being a chronic re-starter is almost the only way to play! I said in another post how I enjoyed the updates coming out slowly so I could get used to each thing at a time; if I'd had to face the entire game all at once I might've given up!

I LOVE fishing! But I simply will not do it until I have an osmium rod and at least Rank C, because otherwise it's entirely pointless. Unless you want to be irritated, ig. But once you've got the good rod and rank, you can find so many utterly gorgeous fishing spots! (See my post about my favorite fishing spots XD). And the computer helps with the museum grind.

Mines are SO satisfying! And I love how different each aesthetic is! Especially the Secret mine :3 But it gets very grindy by the end, and I've done too much mining so now I basically have the layouts memorised. Except for those levels that are scarily big. But it is fun to see how fast you can get through it, especially if you don't upgrade the pickax much!

Diving I think definitely needs a bit of a re-work; I think ideally they would make it so other npcs could help you slash that trash. And I think there used to be speculation that there would be other mechanics to clear large swaths at a time. But right now it gets really tedious, even for me, who earns the Big Bucks by doing all the long repetitive tasks everyone hates.

!!! Oh wait that's exactly how I've been feeling about the merfolk!!! I just didn't Realise! 'Cause like, on land you naturally run into townies on your way to do whatever you gotta do, and that's how friendships build. You can Choose to seek out a specific character, but they're mostly out there living their lives.

But merfolk... yeah they're all in a tiny space doing the same thing every day with no variation. You won't naturally run into them anywhere, even when you unlock the shops. And if you try to seek them out on purpose, odds are they're in a room you can't reach because your friendship isn't high enough. Which means your friendship can't get high enough. Endless loop!

I think I'd really like to see your thoughts on the farmer questionnaire I have pinned, 'cause you kind of just naturally answered half of it already!

[rezcowgirl]

Make your friends draw things. For example: make them draw their favourite bird after 3 drinks. 

And then treasure them forever.

Corvid bloc power. I love that me and Jess basically drew the same thing, except her’s is a raven and mine is a crow with a peanut butter packet that I saw once (the…the one on the top left is supposed to be a crow, too. It was drawn by a 44 year old).

Alex also wrote: "ALEX. Dakota has friends" because I was saying that I'm pretty sure my mom doesn't believe I have friends...He's so thoughtful.

The only dress code was “wear your favourite socks”.  And the only request was "get sloshed on my schnapps" because we somehow ended up with THREE bottles of peppermint schnapps and I HATE that shit. But someone brought Poli Miele and made a 50/50 ratio shot with the schnapps and it weirdly worked?

About half of my friends don't drink, so I also offered two really nice proxies. I'm a wonderful host btw. Even if I fall ass first onto your face (you are welcome).

I slept for fifteen hours afterward, but I’d say the party was restorative. To my soul. Probably not to my body, but I can worry about that later. Falling into the laps of my friends trying to get around the kotatsu without upending everything, I was gifted one of those fleeting, shiny moments where I thought “I’m exactly where I need to be”. Those little affirmations mean a lot, because, um. If you haven’t figured it out, I’m not feeling that so strongly in my professional life. My SOCIAL life, though? Yay. 

Yay, when I actually get to see my friends and be social at least. I realize a big part of the grief of the last month has been compounded because I hadn’t seen anyone in weeks. I did go see Wicked with some friends the other week, but we all had to part right after.

Anyway, for the second time, the same person asked for my Tumblr. I really like her, but absolutely NO. So I said “OKAY! TELL ME YOUR SCREEN NAME!” and she was like “YAAAY” and she pulled out her phone, and I continued  “SO I CAN BLOCK YOU”. 

She was pissed. Pulled her phone to her chest, aghast at my rudeness. HAHAHAHA. YOU THOUGHT.

I don’t know what I’d do if I lost my venting space. It means a lot to me to have this place to sink all my anxieties into and to have impartial feedback when I most need it. (I stopped regular therapy last year lol. Lmao, even.)

This party was smaller than others, because there are some cracks though the group now. It’s only natural over a decade. This isn’t complaining (which I can and will continue to do). This is more of a reflection on friendship and navigating the murky, sludge waters of IRL community organizing.

These days, the majority of my local friends are people I gravitated toward in the local queer kink scene. My connections are through years of finding my feet as an awkward introvert that draws in other awkward introverts. I’m really good at pretending to be an awkward extrovert now. It came up at an event recently - a new person said “You don’t seem like an introvert” and I responded “YES I KNOW. I AM TRYING SO HARD HERE. I HOPE YOU UNDERSTAND.” I never intended to be on the newbie welcoming committee, but after a decade I suppose this is also natural. My friend will blatantly bring shy new femme people over to me like “This is K", and the “you are welcome to hide behind her” is implied. And welcomed. Because I get it.

At this point, I’ve seen many of my friends through various life changes, as they’ve seen me through mine. Relationships change and end, some tensions rise and fall. Although most relationships have ended amicably, there was one recent breakup that was rough. I love both of them dearly, but they don’t want to be in the same room, which is: none of my business, and I respect that. But it DOES mean I have to cycle through invites. It’s a balancing act now. One person I love a lot was not invited. And that sucks. And I’m always torn between sending a message along the lines of: I hope there’s no hard feelings, but it’s _____’s turn”, or not saying anything at all. This time, I didn’t say anything at all (Was that right???).

I also vented about this briefly in the past, but earlier this year, I found out a person very close to me violated the consent of some people at a private event (that I was invited to, but I didn’t attend). Afterward, he didn’t tell me, and I only found out second hand months later. I was told the whole story in a public pool, and I was obviously livid, spiraling, and ended up calling my best friend while I was still dripping wet and she was out with her parents. I felt completely inconsolable, but she talked me down (I love her so much). 

I “invited” him to speak about it with me the next day. I admit it wasn’t so much an optional invite as much as it was “prove to me you are invested in this relationship and this community as I am”. Yes, it was to try and get some resolution, but the “invite” was extended with the huge caveat that I was very mad at him for not telling me and that our friendship was on thin ice. 

I don’t want to foster the kind of community that makes you feel you need to confess each of your fuck ups and self-flagellate, but with something like this, it did not fall under a regular caliber fuck-up. On top of hurting the people who were the victims, it came back to hurt me and Aries. Since I help organize events/vet people, she told me that some people were assuming that I was sweeping it under the rug/”taking his side”, keeping it quiet. I wasn’t. I didn’t KNOW about it.

It was shitty of him and he was 100% in the wrong, but given that in the months post-incident, he and the people directly involved came to a resolution, I was willing to forgive him. With the major warning that if something like this happened again, we would not be friends anymore. It was awkward. It was painful. Our relationship hasn’t been the same since. He’s pulled back from the community substantially because of it, and I am actually sad about that. I don’t need to hash out the fine details, but he’s not a bad person. But he made an inarguably bad decision.

Yes, I want a community where you are ALLOWED to fuck up, but a big part of post fuck-up needs to be accountability. He’s a conventionally attractive white cis dude. He was 100% gliding by via his privilege. No one said anything for months because he was someone generally considered untouchable, and to an extent, that feeling was also extended to me. No one confronted ME because they assumed I was fine with it, and that because I hold some authority (mostly arbitrary - but I DO), that I was also considered untouchable/unapproachable. I am so grateful to the person who did eventually tell me, she said she felt like she was hashing out drama and I made it very clear this IS NOT 'drama', but a very serious incident. I am sad it took so long for someone to talk to me. It was a failure at the foundations of our organizing. I told him all this, and I think it made it hurt a lot more than if I just gave him space to explain and apologize given that it was “resolved” with the people directly involved. But it was the truth. I know he respects me as someone who will tell the truth, and that designation would mean nothing if I didn’t in this instance.

I think a part of the reason the events we (‘we’ is much more than the two of us here FYI) coordinate together are generally respected is because they are highly vetted. Vetted to the point that some people in the wider community complain about it. You have to meet at least one of the organizers in person before you are given a location, which is what the most common complaint is about. And sure, it might seem over the top, but it stems from the history when another major organizer in the past was exposed for allowing MINORS at his parties on top of generally being an abusive POS. A lot of trans people felt unsafe/unwelcome, and someone was doxxed to their work. We TRY, which is the key word here. We fail, too.

I am really proud of the little hovel of freaks we have. I think we do a good job for the most part. But since my friend has stepped back, I’ve also grappled with wanting to do the same. I am not upset with anyone who is suspect of me because of his actions. I can totally understand the perception that I was ignoring the issue. The people closest to the incident now understand that I wasn’t aware until months afterward, and that I confronted him about it the day after I found out.

I don’t know if me and this person will ever be close again. And I’m sad. His wife is genuinely one of my favourite people, but I didn’t invite her to my party. Two of the people I invited don’t want to be around him, and it feels really awkward to be like “you can come, but leave your husband at home”. 

My parties are NOT kink parties, although people are welcome to wear whatever they want/or not want, as long as there is no bare ass on our couches. Someone might end up hogtied in a corner somewhere, but like, in a funsies practice way, not in a scene way.

I don’t feel guilty, but I feel reflective. Of course I can't make everyone happy. I don’t like asking people to “keep this one quiet” because I don’t want to hurt the feelings of people not invited, but even if they did find out, we’re all adults, all in our 30s+, and we can deal with it. I sometimes worry that this might devolve into some high school-esque clique drama, but then when I really think about it, these are all people that are my friends because I trust them. I think they know me better than that.

Anyway, someone did bring their mega-vanilla husband, which is generally fine as long as their partner briefs them with "People do what they want. You are probably going to see some tits."

But one of the first things he said when he came in was "IS THIS 'IN YOUR ROOM'?" and I was like "YESSSSS. 🤩🤩🤩🤩" and he said "I love their darker stuff - people really like Just Can't Get Enough and People are People but I don't fully get it" and I was like "😍😍😍😍".

He goes to Verboden Festival!!!!

I did not invite him to Friday's Depeche Mode night, though. If he's REALLY invested, he'll be there without me telling him about it. 😂 (I want to go alone.)

[qe-podfic]

Check out the cover illustration for Chapter 2 of Quantum Entangled. Made by the wonderfully talented @commentdismal

So impressive. The rendering took my knees. /pos

Excerpt below cut:

Crowley uneasily drifted into wakefulness with a crick in his neck, a mild hangover making itself apparent via an insistent thumping at the back of his skull. The lingering stench of a headache was drumming inside his head like he was the unfortunate desk assigned to a kid with ADHD. All things considered, it wasn’t the worst way Crowley had ever woken up. It didn’t even make the top ten. That’s why, despite not knowing exactly what reason he had for falling asleep on his own damn couch, he wasn’t all that concerned. Slowly, like a ping-pong ball through molasses, memories of the previous night trickled into his awareness.

Aziraphale was here. Aziraphale was here and in his bed. Aziraphale was here and in his bed and wearing his clothes. At once, Crowley realised he had made a grave tactical error.

Drunk Crowley and sober Crowley were only the same person by virtue of the fact that they unfortunately shared a body. Currently, sober Crowley was cursing—quite creatively, mind you—the very notion of that unavoidable fact. Always trying to make the best out of a bad situation, he decided to approach the morning with an impudent unfuckedness. As the saying went: ‘Not fucked over was the one who was unfucked.’ (-Confucius, probably.)

Crowley checked his watch, surprised to find that it was no later than eleven am. He wanted breakfast, or brunch, or just a nice package for the calories he depended on to… Y’know… Live. And it would be rude, if he was cooking for himself, to not at least offer something to his—rather reluctant, he remembered, mortified—guest.

Each stride rendered as unfucked as he could manage, he made his way to the kitchen. First, he used his hideously expensive coffee machine (a ROCKET MOZZAFIATO—imported from Italy) to make one flash bastard of a latte, with the ultimate goal of kicking his A1 adenosine receptors into a more coherent semblance of order. E.g. not receiving adenosine.

Then, he took a wok from his large and impressive array of pots and pans, like a gallery of hung men above the island bench top, and placed it on his induction stove. The stove itself was seamlessly blended into the counter in such a way that it made people helpless to envision burnt hands and accidental emergency-room phone calls. The sleek black design (because Crowley could be sold on almost anything if you made it sleek and black enough) was self-aggrandising in the same way that many circumspect judges on certain cooking shows were. The kitchen as a whole, really, was a lustrous example of the kind of high-tech cookhouse you’d find in the back of a Michelin star restaurant. 

Grabbing a few eggs from the fridge, Crowley scoured for omelette ingredients that were both generally palatable as to, hopefully, not be offensive to Aziraphale’s tastes—whatever they were—and impressive enough to make Crowley seem like he, at the very least,  knew what he was doing on a culinary level. Sticking to his mantra of unfuckedness, Crowley picked out some bacon, cheese, and spinach, along with various herbs and spices from the pantry. Crowley liked omelettes as a general rule. The ratio of effort to edible nutrition was highly favourable—having spent most of his life as a university student with no spare energy to waste on frivolous flambés, brûlées, or any other such fancy French dish.

Making an omelette wasn’t a difficult process. There were two steps; step one was to put all of your ingredients (chopped or unchopped depending on how groggy you were when preparing it) into the pan. Step two was to wait. Heat and time. They were the universal duo that laid claim to the title of ‘instigator’ in most molecular reactions.

Obedient to this philosophy of unfuckedness, heat and time, Crowley chopped bacon, cracked eggs, tore spinach, and altogether cooked a damn good meal. With the two omelettes cooling on their respective plates (the plates were square shaped and black because Crowley refused to be acquainted with the typical agreement of things) he ventured through his cupboards on a mission for tea. Aziraphale seemed like the tea-drinking kind. Finding an abandoned box of loose-leaf French Earl Grey, the label slightly sun faded, he put the kettle on.

Proud of his domestic accomplishments, he set off to wake Aziraphale. He hoped the comestible peace offering would be a balm for any of the awkwardness left over, lingering, from last night.

“Knock, knock,” he greeted onomatopoeically, tapping on the bedroom door.

“Urmf—Crowley?” came the quiet reply, obvious in how freshly awake it sounded. Crowley opened the door, just a crack—not enough to see into the room but enough to let some light in—before chuckling mildly.

“Morning, Angel. I made breakfast. Tea is available too, if you want some.” There was a muffled sound of agreement, and then the distinct shuffling of someone getting out of bed. Crowley padded his way to the kitchen to give the man some privacy.

He was halfway through his own omelette, near-afternoon sun shining down on him from large windows on the east side of the kitchen, when Aziraphale made his presence known. With a curt clearing of the throat, he stood, unsure of himself, at the edge of the kitchen’s connecting hall.

Crowley was fucked. Oh, he was so utterly fucked. Aziraphale made an innocuous image, in Crowley's home, in Crowley's clothes; but that did not stop the racing ambitions of Crowley's mind. Aziraphale wasn't to know this, though. The Queen shirt hung loose on him, gently draping over one shoulder but leaving the other exposed. Crowley felt like a Victorian—or the man responsible for the dress codes of high school girls—scandalised at the revelation of flesh. He reprimanded himself for his undignified train of thought. Aziraphale deserved more than to be ogled like a piece of meat at the snout of a hungry, hungry hound. He couldn't possibly help that his hair was bed-messy, nor the fact that it did terrible things to Crowley's sense of composure. Nonetheless, Crowley would survive. He wasn't a wanton beast. Humanity afforded him—in theory—some amount of dignity.

“Your plate’s over there. I tried to guess how you take your tea; is ‘two sugars and a splash of milk’ anywhere at all close?” he asked Aziraphale, swallowing a bite to hide the raspy quality of his own voice. The astonishment on Aziraphale's face answered a simple ‘yes’. Although, maybe it was astonishment at the breakfast laid out in front of him. It wasn't really a normal move, Crowley reflected sheepishly, to cook a meal for the guy who had just come over for a drunken movie marathon. But Crowley wasn't normal in most things, so he resolutely didn't think about it.

“Yes,” Aziraphale murmured, gaping a little.

“That's exactly how I take it.” The whisper was draped in the kind of mid-morning confusion that only ever occurred after a late night of considerable drinking. He gently cupped the mug, tendrils of steam rising from it in fragrant arches. Sipping the beverage softly, his eyes fluttered shut, simple pleasure oozing from the drop in his shoulders.

“Thank you, Crowley.” His voice was etched in all-too-raw sincerity. He opened his eyes, gazing at him with the kind of look that forced Crowley to turn away.

“Don't thank me. It's the least I could do,” Crowley mumbled weakly. Undeterred, but still feigning propriety, Aziraphale hummed in absent acquiescence. He took the plate with his omelette, looking suddenly affected.

The gentle graze of porcelain plate against the bench top seemed almost reverent, as Aziraphale sat himself on the barstool next to Crowley’s. One thing that Crowley had learnt about Aziraphale—in the heated revelry of their late evening—was that he liked food. No, he didn't just like food. He loved food. Adored food. Damn near worshipped food. As he slowly raised the fork to his lips, Crowley hoped that the sacrifice was fit for the tabernacle of his idolatry.

Aziraphale’s eyes popped open in wide, slightly hedonism-glazed, surprise. 

“Oh—” He almost keened. And, if Crowley wasn't already red in the face, this would have been the inelegant signal that drove blood to the apple of his cheeks.

“Oh! This is simply scrumptious!” Aziraphale praised, made guileless by the distraction of—rather excellent, in his opinion—cuisine. Crowley ducked his head as if trying to bob under the blow of his words.

Untrusting of his vocal cords, Crowley didn't reply, content to revel in silence while Aziraphale finished his meal. The relative quiet gave him the chance to recalibrate after the unexpected misalignment of his neurological circuitry. It was peaceful. Cosy.

Discord:

AO3:

[neuship-zone]

cw: mentions of pedophilia, mentions of fascism,

I’d like to start out by saying that I’m sorry that you have such an asshole in your inbox spamming you. Wish they’d grow the hell up and quit it. Make sure you take care of yourself, like drinking water, eating yummy food, getting plenty of rest, that all, admin.

As for the thing I was sending an ask about, one of the most annoying things about being neutralship is just the way that both antis and pros act regarding it. “neutralship? If you don’t harass anyone then you’re not neutral.” and “If you’re neutralship then you’re just ignore child abuse.” That’s not why I’m neutral. I’m honest when I tell people that I was in my 20s before I ever came close to this discourse and then still later when I finally learned that it was a thing. All because I shipped a close to canon ship from Yuri on Ice, Yuri Plisetsky x Otabek Altin. I absolutely adore them. Yet, on one of the fanarts on Pinterest of Yuri’s exhibition skate, Welcome to the Madness, there was antis being all rude to anyone who said anything nice about it. Didn’t know they were antis at the time when I commented telling one of them to be nice. Got accused of being a proshipper. Had absolutely no clue about it. When I finally got into the discourse, I did slightly adopt the label for about a month. I even created a whole blog to try and learn more. What I came up with is literally online nonsense.

Both sides are quick to accuse the other of being bigots or creeps, basically. The terminology changes slightly, but it’s the constant blanket covering on both parties that is utterly pathetic.

The fact that both sides pulls politics into shit so easily. Like???? The justifications for it just makes me think of this:

Yes. Some people say or do something that is very much pro-a certain period in history. But for the love of Christ, history books can teach you how extremes of any political party can and will censor things. Stop acting like a know it all cause literally that’s one of the reasons I stopped accepting the proship label. I feel like proshippers are quick to throw out that label, completely diminishing the impact of that term like antis do with the way they throw about pedophile.

Criticism of another country, especially non-white, is not racism or xenophobia. No country in the world is great and deserves backlash. For example, if I criticize countries in South(East) Asia and Canada for how they handled the whole Mr Swirl case (a real life case of a major pedophile), that’s not racist. Literally, I feel that those countries hella failed the children who were victims. People can also hold those beliefs even in regards to fiction. That is one of those joys of life, being able to have an opinion.

For as much as non Americans complain, it really does feel like this ends up being mostly Americans in the discussion. Or at the very least people who speak only or mostly English. Yes, there are non Americans and non English speakers involved, but it’s really heavy in English speaking Americans. Which, makes sense considering American culture, which literally uses blue tinted water for pad commercials where countries like Germany uses red liquid (gasp, how shocking to show blood for a product that captures blood. Being a little sarcastic here.)

Fiction does affect reality, but never at a 1:1 ratio. But the examples that antis use are literally the worst cases to use. As someone who lives in Wisconsin, the state that the slender man stabbing happened, the girl isn’t allowed out of prison because she is still considered a threat to society since she is so mentally unwell. A case like that, being used as an argument about how fiction affects reality is more of a criticism of mental health, and a very bad representation of that disorder. Jaws did scare the living shit out of people to where they over-hunt sharks. Can we talk about how War of the Worlds radio broadcast literally caused panic in the same way? Oh, wait, that was presented as reality and not fiction so those who tuned in randomly thought it was real. So, no, that doesn’t get used.

Antis say that they’re not opposed to bad content, just problematic ships being portrayed romantically. Antis, there is no clear consensus about what is considered problematic. Some are against my Yuri x Otabek while others are neutral or okay with it. So who is the deciding factor as to what is or isn’t allowed?

The whole thing with minors is funny to me because everyone is screeching and I really don’t think minors should be as heavily in the shit. But, I also think that minors need more time to touch grass than being online, well, it applies to everyone. (I know I’m sending this to a minor.) But, overall, minors who brag about being in adult spaces because the adults are too old (such as in some otome fandoms) or reading smut posted by adults, stop. Please. Adults and those games have a “minors dni” for a reason. They know that material isn’t appropriate for them and they don’t want to babysit. I’ve seen both sides use minors as arguments why their side is better or the other side is trash, but it’s just depressing because these are REAL children, dipshits. These aren’t just pixels that were arguing about being near pedophiles or bad people, these are REAL threats to those children. Can we just put aside the discourse for three fucking seconds and come together to unite against a common enemy? It’s not making me want to go to either side. “See, they are the real threats since this person was a pedophile.” Like, fuck off. That was a real child you’re propping up for a stupid online only shitcourse that most people have no clue about.

I can never understand the thing with emojis. It’s actually funny to me that people put such a high emphasis on the emojis. Like??? What????????? Some antis act like it’s a proship only thing to have emoji combos, and some proship acts like antis are the only ones who gets caught up in troll emoji combs. Can we just stop? Like, sure, it can be fun, cute or a good little identity marker. But once you have a whole ass feud because some dipshit of a child found a troll, yeah, it’s the moment shit turns into a laughing stock popcorn bucket needing reality show more than a legit conversation.

The lack of conversation… holy crap. Both sides have plenty of problems. But god damn, the people I’ve seen who are the fastest to block accounts who allow the opposing side to interact are also some of the ones who talks the most shit about them. What? Scared to be challenged or find out that you have more in common with your fellow man when you stop looking at things so black and white? Which, both sides I have found do very well.

I don’t know. The whole thing is stupid and it gets dummer the more I look. How the hell was this a thing BEFORE I got into it and how is it something that somehow makes tumblr look like twitter?

Sorry for the long rambling ask. Have a good day, admin.

It's fine. These are all very good points. (And yeah that asshole was annoying but I'm doing good, I think)