#so there goes my brain with the decoding…

[starbuck]

i’m truly so bad with vent texts… i’m the kind of person who only reaches out to people if i need their help in a practical sense (help making a decision, asking them to do something together, stuff like that), so i don’t know what to do with people just being like “things are bad”… i’m sorry things are bad???? and THEN (because of how i was raised) i have to physically fight my brain so it doesn’t trick me into believing that the goal of the texts is to passive-aggressively make me feel guilty that i’m not doing more to help

[cheralith]

APARTMENT 345 — EP TWO : WEDDINGS

feat. karasu, otoya, yukimiya || wc: 9.4k synopsis: moving into a new apartment with three men isn't exactly the most easy feat, but you think there's something quite unusual about your new roommates that makes life seem a little more fun. ↳ episode synopsis: when otoya asks you to be his plus-one for a wedding, you find out that there's more than him that meets the eye. so much so, that it somehow wounds you accidentally locked in a bathroom alone together. contains: fem!reader, she/her pronouns, roommates au, modern au, fluff, slight crack, forced proximity, reader wears a dress and heels, subtle classism, family issues series masterlist ☚ previous next☛

Otoya Eita is a curious case of someone who you suspect isn’t who he seems to be.

Something bugs you about him, something gnawing in a little crevice of your mind. Perhaps it’s that seemingly nonchalant exterior that you think is a little too lax for someone with adult responsibilities like him. Or maybe the way he’s much smarter than you think he was initially. Something of the sort, there’s a lot of peculiarities about him that just don’t seem to add up to what he thinks he’s trying to convey to you.

He says he earns the least out of the four of you—yet he owns a Lexus, multiple expensive colognes, and he’ll show off some new pieces of Chrome Hearts or David Yurman he bought. You figure that one watch of his is at least a third of your salary.

He says he’s not looking for something serious in a relationship—yet you’ve seen him wallow in his misery a few times when some girls wouldn’t call him back. Then he’ll get back up in a matter of two days or less to find someone new to play with.

He says he can't pay the rent this month to you and your other roommates dismay—yet he somehow always pulls through with the money at the last minute to a mysterious degree. Where he gets it from, you think you’re better off not knowing… especially since you’ve eavesdropped on a few of his conversations with someone shady on the phone, asking about a boon of some kind.

Otoya, to you, at least from a few months ago, was the most open roommate out of the other three. Now, you’re not so sure. Unlike Karasu and Yukimiya, who have gotten closer and more amicable as times went on, Otoya seems to have shut himself in with you to your dismay in the past weeks, despite him being the first roommate you were truly comfortable around. He seems to be an enigma to you more than anyone you’ve ever met—you don’t know how to decode him. And to be honest, you’re not sure if you should. Maybe you’re best placed in this pool of ignorance you’ve been trying to get out of to understand your roommate, absorbing it and letting it linger around you.

He has this outer layer to him; a mask of a seemingly chill guy who goes with the flow, someone who lays back and lets life do its work for him. He’ll just simply follow along wherever the wind takes him. 

But something eats at you, that gnawing feeling always just lingering about. A gut feeling whispers in your ear that there’s something deeper, more intrinsic about him. You’ve acknowledged the suspicion, but you’re not too sure if you should try and operate on Otoya to properly pluck out his brain. After all, there might just be nothing there and you’ve been paranoid this entire time. Maybe it’s best just to stay out of his business (though, you sometimes find it hard not to, especially when you sometimes find him talking to someone on the phone with pinched brows when you enter the apartment, only for him to hang up the call when he notices you, his default face placing back onto his visage.).

And you’ve been doing a good job at it. Until now, when an opportunity presents itself for you to prod your nose around the hidden secrets of Otoya Eita. All because of an extended wedding invitation from him.

“I need a plus-one from my cousin’s wedding next Saturday,” he had said to you a week prior, scratching the back of his neck lazily. “I’d ask Tabito or Kenyu, but uh. I don’t want my folks to get the wrong impression, ya know?” 

You had snorted under your breath, laughing, but said yes without thinking of the consequences at the time. It was only yesterday that it hit you that you’d be meeting Otoya’s family despite only knowing him for a few months whilst nothing absolutely nothing about Otoya’s personal life despite what he gave to you, much less what kind of people his family were. 

So you ran to Karasu, who had known him the longest, and in a panic, asked him what sort of people they were. Unfortunately, he wasn’t much help, only giving you a sheepish smile and telling you, “They’re quite the weirdos, ‘s all I’ll say—at least from when I met ‘em. Sorry, sugar.”

When you asked Yukimiya, you ran into the same dead end. The brunette also only gave you a pitiful look. “Just try not to talk to them too much. The less you know, the better.”

Their responses did nothing to calm your nerves. If anything, it amplified the apprehension from twice it was before. You wish you felt it earlier in the week, however, since that at least allowed you more ample time to actually buy a better dress than this dusty rag that you had worn for a friend’s garden party a few years back. 

You think this is the longest you’ve stared at yourself in the mirror that you’re becoming an eyesore to yourself. The baby pink dress with puffed short sleeves and layered tulle feels out of date; it’s weird around your waist and just doesn’t seem very elegant for the type of wedding Otoya had described. Too casual, too childish. 

A knock comes at your door suddenly.

From the door reveals a dressed-up Otoya Eita before you, uncharacteristically sharp in his crisp grey-black suit and pistachio green tie. His hair is parted neatly, his bangs usually grazing his face now pushed to the side to show the entirety of his features. 

A smirk displays itself on your face. “Someone looks rather handsome.”

Otoya hums with satisfaction at your approval, taking a singular finger and dragging it along his jawline. Something called mogging, if you call correctly. “It all comes naturally to me.”

He lets himself in your room, whistling at your messy bedroom littered with disarrayed clothing that you were trying to pluck out and make a nice arrangement with. “A little birdie told me you were having trouble choosing an outfit.”

Your shoulders droop when you spot yourself in your mirror again, your dress looking like it was just plastered on you rather than fitting you. 

“I’m assuming my groans of despair were louder than I thought they were,” you sigh despondently, hands attempting to try and fiddle with the layers of the dress so it seems right at least in the mirror. 

“I know you said to dress nice, but this is all I have…” you turn to Otoya, who curiously pinches one of your business dresses in his fingers. “I’m sorry, I would’ve totally gone shopping sooner had I known it’d be a big deal.”

Otoya gently places down the dress and turns to you with a barely-visible quirk of his lips. “It’s not bad but I might have something else in mind that might help ease your mind.” 

He excuses himself out of the room and returns back not even a moment later with a large white zippered bag hung by a hanger. It’s thick and padded, clearly a bit of weight to it. You’re a little appalled, not expecting Otoya to go out of the way and quite literally get you a dress of his own means. But this also meant that if Otoya was doing more than what he was used to, swaying from his normal route of winging it and actually doing proper preparation for this, it ultimately meant that this was a much bigger event than you anticipated it to be. And you surely had to be ready to size yourself up for such a manner.

Otoya delicately places it on the mountain of clothes on your messy bed, carefully unzipping the bag to reveal a magnificent, floor-length, pear green sequined dress that reflected light so elegantly, it almost created a natural spotlight on itself. Held by thin straps, the chest area was highlighted from all the sequined and carefully-placed cherry blossoms speckling about that brought out a certain uniqueness to the dress. It looked preciously handmade, as you think no machine could delicately craft such petals from fabric and sequins. 

It was magnificent and mature, something that clearly contrasted with your current dress. You couldn’t deny that Otoya had great taste when it came to fashion, both for men and women it seems, only second-best next to Yukimiya, though he came damn close to taking over his position on the podium.

You gasp aloud at it, clearly impressed at its meticulousness. 

Otoya holds it up by its hanger, showing its full glory to you. “I’m really hoping it’s your size, but d’you like it? You wanna try it on?” 

“I—” you falter. The dress was just so elegant that you don’t think someone like you should be adorning it; it was clearly fit for someone more high-class like a socialite or an actress. “Where did you even get this?”

He shrugs, nonchalant as ever. “Bought it on my way home yesterday. Thought you might want to wear it as a backup just in case.”

“I’m really hoping this is a rental,” you worry about, biting at your fingernail. Something seems rather ominous about all those sequins flashing about, like they’re warning you not to touch such preciosity. “How much was this?” 

“Mmh, not telling,” Otoya says and slips the dress off its hanger to your panic. “Just know I’ve got it covered.”

You frown.

“Rent’s coming up soon,” you warn, “so if I find out you chucked some money out the window just for a mere dress, you’ve got a storm coming, bud.”

Otoya chuckles fondly. “Relax. I already gave my stuff early, so don’t stress about it anymore and just try it on.”

Ignoring your protests, he forces the dress in your hands and makes his way out, waving his fingers as he leaves you in the desolation of your room. 

A pull of his neck releases the tension from it, rhythmic cracks from bones echoing in the hallway your room was located from. Otoya sighs, the weight on his shoulders heaving down on him more than ever today that he hopes will expel from himself once this day is over. 

He feels bad, dragging you into this mess. But Otoya thinks that he can’t handle the masses by himself, he needs some sort of stabilizer, someone to help him keep on his feet. Karasu and Yukimiya knew about everything already, so they knew about the trials and tribulations that he faced back then, and clearly didn’t want to go through them again. He couldn’t drag someone from his roster either—he didn’t even know half of their last names. 

It wasn’t his fault you just happened to be right there. With your grace and presence, you were the perfect person to have at his side for those hours he’s going to have to face head-on. All he has to do is just pivot his attention to you, knowing that it’ll be his that you’ll be yearning for as well in a room of strangers. It was an equal exchange. 

Still. Even though you’ll be at his side, it doesn’t shake off the unease that lingers about. 

Otoya settles himself on the couch, feeling tension stiffen his joints again. A warning sign to expect the worst, he assumes. Whatever. It’s just a few hours. He’ll reset and return back to normal in no time. This too shall pass, or whatever bullshit Yukimiya spews.

He cracks his neck again, making Karasu, who sits lazily next to him, cringe. 

“Don’t do that near me,” he mutters, averting his attention to the soccer match on the TV. “Freaks me out.”

“It’s just bones, don’t think your two-hundred six are any different from mine,” Otoya insists, going to crack his knuckles to Karasu’s displeasure. 

In the corner of the couch, Yukimiya throws some popcorn from a bowl in his mouth, grinning when he sees such a dapper Otoya in front of him. “You look good. For once.”

Otoya mopes, a light offense grazing him. “‘For once?’”

Yukimiya shrugs, still stupidly smiling. “Guess you wanted to look good for (Y/N).”

He frowns. 

“This is a wedding. Why wouldn’t I try to look good?” Otoya remarks, clearly unamused. He’s not sure if he’s up for a childish banter right now, not when he’s got too much on his plate. 

Karasu snickers at his appearance. Normally it was him and Yukimiya that looked rather tidy in their outerwear, so it came as comical to see the person who donned himself in the first clean thing he blindly plucked from his closet to be adorned in such fashion. “Took some money outta yer trust fund to get that suit o’yers, huh?” he slyly asks, nudging Otoya with his elbow.

Otoya rolls his eyes. “I’ve always had this, dumbass,” he insists with folded arms. “I just don’t like to wear it unless I have to.”

Yukimiya is next to chortle. “Maybe he used the money to buy (Y/N) that dress. Looked pretty expensive to me.”

Otoya thins his lips. Then looks away, the tip of his ears revealed by his slicked hair dusted with red.

Karasu and Yukimiya clearly take notice of his reaction that clearly can’t guise a lie even if Otoya tried to create one, bursting out into laughter when they make eye contact with one another.

“Aw, lookit this loverboy over here!” Karasu hollers and grabs Otoya by the neck, making him wince at Karasu's strength. “Didn’t know ya liked her that much!” 

“I don’t…” Otoya grits his teeth, “I just… wanted to get her something nice.” 

“Oh, yeah, sure,” Yukimiya cackles and lightly kicks at Otoya whilst he throws some popcorn his way, speckles of yellow-white fireworking over the living room floor. “Get your non-girlfriend plus-one a real fancy dress out of the blue, yeah? How much did it cost Prince Charming?” 

Otoya sighs. “You idiots can’t decipher the fact that this is all for a wedding, can you?” he states with a flat voice. “You both know how my family is… I just don’t want her—”

Heels click softly suddenly, a shy pattering coming from the hallway. 

“I don’t mean to interrupt but…” your voice breaks through the playful atmosphere, making all the men pause and look in your direction. “Er, sorry Otoya. Is this how it’s supposed to fit?”

Three spotlights turn to you from the coach from your roommates at once, suddenly drenching you in shyness at such vapid attention. Otoya is stunned at what he sees, breath hitching slightly when you present yourself before them. 

He has to give himself a pat on the back because not only does the dress fit you right, it fits you so perfectly that it looks like it was made just for you. You’re going to blend in perfectly, he thinks. 

Otoya abruptly stands up from the couch, clearing his throat and sending a soft smile your way—a rare feat considering how stony Otoya’s face could be.

“Fits like a glove on you, babe,” he compliments. 

You warmly smile at him, relieved. Karasu and Yukimiya glance at each other, suppressing some teasing smirks, shoulders shaking.

The clock is ticking, and Otoya figures that you and him have to get to the venue soon before traffic starts. You wrap up some last minute adjustments to your outfit before you and him bid Karasu and Yukimiya goodbye with a wave. 

“Get us some goodies if they’re offerin’ any!” Karasu shouts. 

“Give my warm wishes to the couple!” Yukimiya calls out just as Otoya closes the door. 

His sedan looks sleek as ever in the parking lot and you think this is the first time that Otoya actually looks the part to own such a luxury vehicle. He seems to be the gentleman tonight, seeing as how he opened up your car door for you to let you in, a hand holding yours to help keep you steady from the imbalance your heels might offer.

“Am I getting the princess treatment tonight?” you ask playfully as Otoya settles himself into his car. 

“When do you not?” inquires Otoya as he slings back one of his arms on the back of your headrest, veering his head to help him reverse despite having a back camera with sensors. You roll your eyes jovially at his antics, supposing that his flirting tactics just come a little too naturally to him even when he wasn’t trying to do so. 

The car ride is not too long, the venue being a lot closer than you thought initially. And clearly, a lot more grand, the pictures you saw from Google not doing it justice as you drive by it to its back parking lot. 

It’s a large garden conservatory, filled with lush flora all over both inside and out and glittering the place with natural color and textures. A large window dome ceiling looks overhead the space, all the windows letting the setting sunlight in in a manner so majestic that you think it was haloed by the hand of the Sun itself. Two large ponds sit before the entrance on the grass, koi fish swimming about the many lilypads and lotus flowers that bloom before you.

Weariness grows within you when you stare at the building. You want to ask Otoya if you’re sure this is the right venue when he moves forward in the line of many cars to get a parking ticket, seeing as how you’ve never seen such a lavish venue before, but when you pass by a banister that reads a familiar last name of the groom, your words falter. 

Welcome to the Wedding of Otoya Teruo & Hirai Hiromi, the banister states. 

Up comes the gnawing feeling of suspicion again, like Otoya is hiding something, especially when you see his eyes narrow at the banister. Something is off. His mask is slipping, you think. 

You know you should stay cautious and try to mind your business about him, but you’re just his friend and roommate after all and you’re not as close to him as Karasu or Yukimiya. But you feel pressured by an unknown force to try and squeeze something out of him that can help you gain a sense of the true Otoya. 

Your fingers itch to lift the mask off of him, to truly see him for who he is and not just the nonchalant, flirty roommate. 

“This wedding is pretty extravagant,” you admit after Otoya gains his temporary permit from the parking attendant. “I feel like there’s something you’re not telling me.”

Otoya drums his fingers on the steering wheel of the car, blowing some spare hair out of his way. “Yeah. There is.”

Your eyes go to glance at him, body unmoving. “Well…” you start, fiddling with your fingers when he doesn’t elaborate, “are you gonna say something?” 

“You might not like it,” he says honestly, his own gaze focused on trying to find a space, his car moving at a snail’s pace. “You seem stressed enough as it is.” 

He’s observant, a trait you’ve picked up from him over the course of the months. Almost a little too much so… were your anxieties that obvious that they leaked out without your knowledge? 

Your lips pull a frown. “I can handle it. I’d rather know too much than not know enough. I’m meeting your family, after all.”

The mention of the word “family” irks him a bit, a slight tick from his jaw. A sigh drifts out from him, like he was expecting this from someone who’s mindset was so head-on for most things. “You should be careful about what you wish for.”

“Otoya,” you declare a little more sternly. He purses his lips at your calling of his name, akin to a mother scolding a child. 

“Fine then, you asked for it,” he mutters, swerving his car suddenly into a blank space and jutting his gear stick into park. He leans his elbow on the center console and somehow forces you to look at him without touching or commanding you. You stay still where you are, but you focus on the droning look of Otoya’s green hues that bore into you, warning you almost.

“My family owns a subsidiary business of a large investment management company,” he begins with a tone so robotic, it sounds almost generated. It doesn’t sound a bit like him. 

You were planning to uncover the true essence of Otoya Eita and why he’s been rather shut-in recently from you, but you never expected him to reveal everything about himself all at once because he spits out everything to you in the matter of seconds, leaving barely any for you to stay curious since he seems to ask every question you have in mind immediately. 

“Specifically, we handle index funds. Yes we’re wealthy. Yes, I’m a trust fund baby. I just try to earn money my own way since I don’t want to rely on my parents that often. No, I can’t just give you money flat-out. No, do not ask me if you can dabble in them through me—Karasu already tried. I’ve got barely any knowledge in business and I want it to stay that way.

I have two sisters. Both of them are following my parents’ footsteps, which makes me a black sheep in the family. Stay away from them if you can, same with my parents. I don’t keep in contact with my family a lot for that reason and I only came here because Teruo is the only relative that I’m close with and that gets me.”

An apt pause goes by in the car. 

“Ah…” you mumble, eyes wide as you nod slowly.

You thin your lips, not sure if you should say something at the moment, an exponential flurry of questions constantly rising to thoughts that you think you should hold yourself back from asking in the meantime as clearly this was just too much information to digest at once. 

Otoya snaps you out of your thoughts with an actual snap of his fingers. You blink. 

“This is important, so listen carefully,” he states, atypically serious. There’s almost this pleading look on his face if you look deeper into it. “All you need to do is keep your pretty little head down and let me do the talking, yeah? Don’t try to pretend to be someone you’re not if someone asks you who are—rich snobs can sniff out a phony in seconds. Just don’t give them too much information. Any questions?”

This is very unlike the usual Otoya you saw, and you think this is finally the real version of him that he’s finally allowing you to see; this more vulnerable, more historical side to him that you would’ve never guessed the current Otoya you knew (or thought you knew) well came from. 

“Uh… who else should I avoid other than your sisters and parents?” you ask. 

“Quite literally almost everyone on my side of the family, ‘cept for Teruo and my great aunt Hisako. She’s weird, but chill. Everyone else?” Otoya rolls his eyes. “Chances are if they look like me, then just stay away.”

You affirm with another nod. “What are your sisters’ names? Just so I can be wary.”

“My oldest sister goes by Eimi, my baby sister goes by Eiko,” Otoya describes. “Avoid nee-san the most—she can see through people easily. Eiko’s got a baby-face, but don’t be fooled. She’s a spoiled brat and a bitch if you tick her off.”

You wince at the insults he throws at his sisters, but you have no room to judge. Otoya grew up with them, you did not. 

“Er, how about your parents?” you inquire. 

“You don’t have to worry about them,” his shoulders sag a bit, “‘cause they’ll probably avoid me if anything.”

Otoya suddenly turns to you and you can see this foreign tiredness to his eyes; it’s not the normal lethargicness you see him being casted upon, but rather from exhaustion. 

That’s what happens, you suppose, when you come from such a family of prestige—you can’t even imagine the amount of expectations he probably had to live up to prior to being your roommate. You’ve never seen him in this way before, seeing him almost defenseless before you.

Eyes closing, he breathes slowly, trying to regain his natural lull again as best as possible. Otoya cracks them open again, a familiar glaze over lime green.

“Just stay close to me,” he mutters almost beseechingly. “Okay? For both our sakes.”

Otoya was right. Money really makes people much too vain for your liking. 

Despite looking the part of the family, Otoya himself had an aura that made him stand out in all the wrong ways, drawing side-eyes and whispers from people that knew about him and his reputation as you and him walked about the conservatory, trying to find the groom. You’re a part of it too, his notoriety stretching to you. Every time you try to sneak a glance at one of those dirty looks you think is being thrown your way, just when your vision clears up, they go back to talking in nonsensical manners amongst themselves and laughing much too sweetly. 

An older middle-aged woman in a yukata suddenly begins to approach you and Otoya, a faux smile on her face that he doesn’t return. Her face is placidly smooth, eerily so, but the botox can’t always hide the essence of bitter time, and you think that smile is just as fake as her lips. 

“Eita, what a pleasure to see you here,” she greets. “Teruo will be happy to see you.”

“Auntie Kazuko,” Otoya replies simply. “It’s good to see you.” 

Her smile doesn’t falter and she draws her beady eyes to you, lighting up in mischief. “Hello there. I’ve never seen you before.”

You can feel Otoya stiffen before you, but you squeeze his arm in reassurance that you can temporarily handle yourself. 

“My name is (Y/N) (L/N),” you greet with as much false compassion as you can muster, giving her a slight bow of respect. “I’m his plus-one for tonight. It’s a pleasure to meet you.”

“(L/N)...” Kazuko draws on her tongue, tasting your last name delicately. “I don’t think I’ve ever heard of such a family. What do you all dabble in?” 

“She’s not one of us, Auntie, she’s just a friend of mine,” Otoya cuts in before Kazuko can make a judgement. His tone is so much sharper than normal, serpentlike, almost equivalent to his aunt’s. 

Kazuko’s smile stretches wider, eyes widening and you swear her pupils constrict themselves like a cat venturing for its prey. You swallow. 

“Ah,” she murmurs, lilting her head to examine you fully. “My apologies. I just thought with your looks and your dress that perhaps I just wasn’t akin to your name. Seems I’ve been mistaken.”

Your dress suddenly feels constricting on your body, too tight. “Oh, I just—” you start, shuffling.

“Oscar de la Renta’s Summer 2023 collection, yes?” she asks you. A shiver runs down your spine when his aunt refuses to move her formidable gaze away from you, almost testing you.

You go rigid. No wonder why you felt so intimidated by the dress; a piece crafted by a distinguished fashion house was given to you by Otoya. And while you’ve dabbled in the world of high fashion before, you’ve never been in a status that allowed you to just casually wear $2,000 pieces like they were nothing. 

Words fall heavy on your tongue, trying to compose yourself so as to not seem small in front of her. “I don’t really—”

Otoya beats you to it first, swooping down to save you before you accidentally embarrass yourself. 

“His Pre-Fall 2025 collection, actually,” he says, face still blank.

Your throat feels dry. Kazuko had a trap set up ready for you and if it weren’t for Otoya’s quick reflexes, you probably would’ve ended up dead meat not even fifteen minutes into this wedding.

Kazuko’s smile falters a bit. Her gaze hardens at you but pivots to Otoya. “I’m sure she has a voice of her own, Eita.”

“Where’s Teruo?” he inquires boredly. “Just wanna give him some support before the big show.”

Kazuko huffs, but silently points to the right corridor of the hallway, her eyes cold and sharp and daggering when they burn into the back of your back as Otoya leads you away from her. 

“I’m assuming she’s one of yours…?” you ask softly, noticing how Otoya’s own gaze softens and body loosens when she’s out of view.

“She’s his mom,” Otoya admits as you trail down a hallway of doors as you approach the large door at the end of the hallway. “It’s crazy considering they act nothing alike. Or look alike. I can’t tell if it’s because of all the botox or if just being a bitch ages you quicker.”

A stifled giggle muffles itself under your hand, a small bit of humor distracting you from the tension in the room. 

True to his word, you meet the rather outlandish and loud Teruo, whose naturally extroverted nature is a breath of fresh air in comparison to everyone else. He shakes your hand warmly, telling you thank you for being here with Otoya, who many thought wouldn’t even show up, with a date nonetheless. You can understand why he and Otoya get along so well—they’re quite the oddities in the family. 

He tells you and Otoya to go get settled soon in the venue with a shining smile, clearly excited to meet his shining bride. A lovesick man is always a treat to witness you think. 

Skittering eyes are on you when you and Otoya settle down in your chairs and he can sense that your unease has amplified. It’s not like the same eyes that scan you aren’t observing his every move as well. Oddly, your out-of-place disposition that just seems to draw more attention than him than he would’ve liked brought him this solace—knowing that he wasn’t alone in not quite fitting in with the rest of the crowd. It was cruel to perhaps place you in a co-dependent position with him for the time being, but he figured he had to be just a bit selfish to keep his sanity. 

You lift your gaze a bit and suddenly make accidental eye contact with a man in front whose head is turned ever so slightly to examine you, only breaking it when you notice him. There’s a few other eyes on you and Otoya, some even going to whisper behind their hands to share gossip.

You swallow dryly again, hands feeling clammy until a warmth slithers its way to one of them, squeezing it lightly. 

You turn to Otoya, who idly gazes at you from the side and gives you a comforting nod. 

“You’re fine. We’re fine,” he mutters softly. “Just ignore them. They won’t remember you tomorrow, anyways.”

The Otoya you’re familiar with somehow creeped back into this persona Otoya has been guising under, that coolness he’s notorious for bringing you comfort in knowing that this feeling won’t last for long. Relief in knowing that part of him isn’t entirely buried for the time being warms your nerves.

The lights dim. 

You breathe steadily. Otoya squeezes your hand again and you return it, a silent agreement that you and him just have to stick it out for a few more hours together.

Despite the evident class and structure of the reception’s venue, the reception itself is rather rowdy. It’s too close and personal with the families, so you and Otoya have stowed away somewhere isolated and quiet, where you watch him play rhythm games on his phone intently. 

“You suck,” you state as he misses a note. 

“You swa—” 

Otoya pauses mid sentence, closing his mouth.

You stare at him intently with a plastic grin, eyes wide and unblinking as he tries his best not to look at you and focuses his gaze on his phone. The douchebag jar was nearing its halfway point, if you could recall correctly.

“Finish that sentence, I dare you.”

“I’m good… thanks,” he mumbles. 

“Good choice,” you cheerily state to his dismay as he begins another level. 

The low hum of the game echoes through the part of the corridor where you and him settle yourselves in, the quietness lulling you both from the apprehension earlier. You can hear the cheers from the reception, but you and Otoya are better off just absorbing it rather than partaking in it. It’s not like they wanted you there anyway.

He’s much more relaxed now, ever since you and him moved away from all the commotion of his family that you witnessed in full light were just as everything Otoya had said they were. Judgemental, proud, and conceited. 

“Hey,” you begin softly, resting your head on his shoulder and watch his thumbs prance about. “How come you didn’t tell me any of this before…?”

Otoya hums questionably, feeling the warmth of you radiating onto him. “What? My family?”

You nod. The fervent taps of his phone and echoes from the party are the only things that ring out into the silence for a bit, but Otoya eventually breaks after choosing his words carefully. 

“Unless I’m forced to, I don’t like telling people about them,” he says, monotone and unfeeling. “For reasons you obviously saw. Also ‘cause I hate associating myself with them.”

That’s understandable, you think to yourself. You don’t think that you would be able to live with yourself if fate forced you to be a part of such a snobbish collective of rich folk without trying to break it off and make a name for yourself. 

“It’s why I refused to go into the financial business field in college and chose music instead,” he continues to your astonishment. Not necessarily a man of many words in regards to himself, Otoya was always more of a secretive person to you, especially in consideration of recent weeks, so to hear him unsheathe truths of himself without you prying came as a small surprise. 

But this is good, you think, to let him be vulnerable around you. To take that mask off.

“Your parents weren’t mad?” you ask.

He snorts loudly, shaking his head. “Oh no, they were pissed. Threatened to cut me off and everything.”

You perk up. “But you said you’re trust fund baby?” 

“I am still,” he confirms with a nod. “Because I told them if they did, I’d reveal to the press all the scandals they covered up. And there’s more than enough to hand out to properly damage their reputation.” Otoya shrugs loosely. “My uncle on my mom’s side especially has quite the stack. Really likes that one gentlemen's club down on Twenty-Eighth.”

Your eyes widen at his quiet ferocity. Only a few hours prior, you would’ve never thought that Otoya you saw on a day-to-day basis would dabble in such matters, only doing his own business as he liked. But seeing this new side of him stirs sparks of interest within you, seeing as how there’s this undertone of determination and ambition he nurtured himself, very much unlike the lethargic, easy-going roommate you saw. 

Otoya, without averting his eyes away from his phone, senses your shock and cracks a grin. 

“Surprised?” he inquiries, a subtle slyness in his voice.

You’re nothing but. You let out a brief laugh in astonishment. 

“A little bit,” you murmur. “Sorry, I just kind of always took you as—”

“—a slob? A sloth? A laggard?” Otoya lists down. “You can say it, I’ve heard it all before. They’re pretty much true anyway.”

“I was going to say ‘laid back’,” you mutter, shoving him a bit to his amusement. “‘Care-free’ even, you dunce.”

He cringes at the familiarity of the nickname. “Gross. You’ve been hanging out with Tabito too much.”

You’re about to hurl an insult back at him but Otoya stands up abruptly when two feminine voices suddenly trail through the hallway. His face remains still, but there’s a seriousness to his eyes that narrow when they grow closer.

“I feel as though Teruo went over his budget,” a familiar voice drawls steadily, two pairs of heels clicking in synchronicity. “All for a commoner girl?”

“Well, Teruo-nii has always been like that,” the other, younger in intonation, replies in what seems to be an attempt at comfort, but comes off as standoffish. Otoya’s brows knit in concern at the second voice, clearly accustomed to it. “Always loud and grand. Explosive, some may say.”

“I hope your brother won’t be doing that with that girl he came along with,” Auntie Kazuko’s voice chides. “Then again, I doubt he’ll ever get married anyway. He doesn’t seem like the type to do so.”

The younger voice laughs in amusement. “It might be better for us anyway. We don’t need more drama from someone who’s stirred up quite a storm already.”

Your eyes soften in pity at the implication of Otoya, who just stares at the two approaching shadowy figures in the hallway. You want to refute their statement, but your words falter when Otoya suddenly grabs your arm and pulls you further from them, your heels rapidly clicking against the floor. 

“Hey!” you exclaim with a slight yelp in pain from his grip. “Where are we—”

“Just away from them,” he grimaces. “I don’t feel like talking to nee-san today.”

His older sister. Eimi, if you could recall, the one who was able to see through people. You’ve never heard of her until today, let alone know what she looks like, but you can already tell from Otoya’s urgency to get away from her that she’s not a force to be reckoned with. 

Otoya leads you down one of the corridors leading to the entrance but hisses out a swear when he sees a cherub-faced woman talking politely with an elder, a head of long snowy white hair with that strike of green mimicking his own. He turns back, only to see the shadowy figures from earlier approach you both closer and closer as the seconds pass. 

He groans out loud. He hates things like this—problems that require too much worrying. It was such a waste of time dabbling on things that were out of his control, such as this scenario before him, and Otoya thought he had gotten away from the hazards of it when he left the family but he supposes that he’s doomed to face such troubles whenever they’re in radius.

His eyes scan his surroundings for a way out, not finding any that won’t lead him to cross paths with people until he spots a certain door. 

“Sorry babe,” he mutters lowly to you and pulls you to the men’s bathroom to your horror. “This won’t take long, I promise.”

You gawk at him when you see the male symbol on the door. 

“Dude!” you shout in protest, but to no avail does it work in changing Otoya’s mind seeing as how he slams the door shut and locks it, pressing himself up against the door as a barricade. 

To your relief, it was a single stall bathroom with no one in it to bother you both, one gold-plated toilet sitting next to the door and a marble sink across from it. Otoya swallows thickly, pressing his ear up against the wall to properly hear outside. He can hear the semi-condescending voices of his sisters murmur through, his name being bounced around once or twice to his displeasure. 

A small velvet stool sits right in front of the door and you let yourself take a break from the stress of your heels, watching closely as Otoya observes the outside within the inner safety of the bathroom with his ear.

“I think we’re all good,” he asserts when turning back to you.

You don’t enjoy seeing him like this—it felt uncharacteristic of him to be so restless around people he was supposed to have fun with. It’s clear that he didn’t want to come from the very beginning.

“Hey,” you start, “I get that Teruo is your cousin and everything, but we can go home if you really want to.”

He shakes his head. “I can’t. I promised him I’d stay for at least the majority of the reception. Just until the toasts. Said I didn’t have to interact with anyone, but he wants me here. I owe him that much.”

“Well that isn’t worth being uncomfortable for nearly five hours, I’m sorry,” you remark tiredly. “You don’t want to be here. I don’t want to be here. I think it’s just best if we leave.”

Otoya turns to you, a slight furrow in his brow. “He’s the only person in this family that I refuse to let down. Everyone else can go fuck themselves, but I’m doing this for him.”

You sigh, rubbing your forehead, a little vexed at this foreign stubbornness considering Otoya would usually go along with most things. 

“You haven’t let yourself breathe even once the entire time we’ve been here,” you point out with concern. “I’m sure he’d understand.

Otoya takes your words in for a moment to consider, but ultimately shakes his head again. “It’s just a few more hours. Let’s just tough it out.”

Frustrated, you get up and dust yourself off, moving towards the door. You’ve had enough for one night; you’re tired, your esteem has been kicked down from all the shady comments sent your way, and all you want to do is just take off this dress and makeup and sleep. Meddling around in rich folks’ business was not your ideal Saturday night. 

“You can stay if you want,” you huff, grasping the handle and whipping your head around to face him. “But I’m gonna grab an Uber. I’ll see you back home. I’ve done my part.”

Otoya shrugs loosely, unfazed as he takes your spot on the stool. “Go right ahead, princess.” 

“Fine.”

“Fine.”

“Fine!”

“Fine.”

You throw him another judgemental look, one that he doesn’t do much with except for give you a questioning raise of his brows as you tug on the doorknob to swing yourself out of the reception’s venue.

Oddly, however… it refuses to budge.

You pause. Then jerk it again. Nothing happens. The door stays where it is.

“What…” you mutter, pulling on the doorknob again, fiddling with the lock multiple times to get the right latch. With every turn of the lock, however, you run into the same problem. “You can’t be serious? It’s stuck?”

“No way bro can’t even open a door right,” Otoya snorts and stands up. His hand goes to grip the doorknob and give it a pull from his own means, but even he can’t seem to get it to open. 

“I’m telling you, it’s stuck,” you insist as he repeats your own methods, all reaching no avail.

Otoya constantly pulls on the doorknob, each yank being harsher than the previous. “It literally just opened a minute ago—hold on…”

“Don’t pull too hard,” you warn when he begins adding more of his strength. “You might—!”

Something clicks, and Otoya figures it’s the latch. He gives it one last harsh tug, only for the actual knob of it to snap off suddenly to your horror, a gasp pulling from your throat.

He steps back a little, examining the chunk of metal in his palm. He gives you a blank look. 

“So… we may be stuck,” he says all too obviously, making you smack your forehead.

“Well duh!” you groan out loud and examine the broken lock that seems completely hopeless to try and solve a way to maneuver it.

Otoya is quick to pull out his phone. “Lemme call Teruo and see if—shit, my phone’s dead.”

He shows you the empty battery icon flickering on his screen, your dread expanding. 

“I didn’t think rhythm games took up that much battery…” he falters, tucking it back into his pocket. “Try yours.” 

Thankfully, you have your phone still at 40% battery when you pull it out, the number keypad at the ready, only for you to whine miserably when you see the No Service text on the corner of your screen. Of course you somehow land in the only place in the venue that is just slightly out of service.

“First rule of thumb whenever you enter a place,” Otoya holds a finger up, one that you have an urge to snap from the irritation that boils within you. “Always ask for their wifi password.”

That’s not how it works… you hiss at him in your mind, trying to avoid escalating this situation. You stare at him darkly, his lax personality not doing much to help your unease in this moment and wonder how many hours it’ll take for you to go insane and strangle him. 

Two, you think. One, if he tested his luck.

Surprisingly, after three and a half hours have passed, Otoya still has a beating heart. He’s been the patient one out of you two, watching you as you pace back and forth to try and conjure a plan to get out while he was just riding on the wave of hoping someone would come by soon to try and use this bathroom. 

You’ve tried going on his shoulders to try and receive a signal, pushing the vent to see if you could spy-movie—only for it to be much too small for a human body to fit, and yelling for help whenever someone passed by, only for your shouts to be drowned out from the music.

The music has died down, but your voice is gone from all the shouting. You’ve given up at this point, just hoping that a custodian will somehow break their way through after hours.

“Has no one attempted to look for you yet?” you question wearily when you slump down next to him on the stool. 

Otoya gives another one of those loose shrugs of his again as he bunches up his suit jacket, plopping it on his lap. “Bold of you to assume that family gives a damn about me.”

The way he says it seems too casual, like he was used to this. Like this was normal for him. It’s unsettling to you, knowing that such a large and prestigious family would think of one of their own so scathingly that his existence barely mattered. 

He sees you giving him a pouted look and sighs. “You don’t have to pity me. I chose to leave that life while knowing the consequences.”

“But even so… it doesn’t bother you?” you question with sympathy laced in your voice. “When they talk about you like that?”

“Hah,” Otoya gives a smileless laugh, rolling his eyes. “I promise you, I could not have given less of a shit about what they think of me. They can say whatever they want; I got what I wanted at the end of the day while they’re stuck slaving away at an office.”

You give him a stony look, silently reminding him that you and his other two roommates worked corporate.

“My fault,” Otoya excuses with guilty haste. 

The rigidity in your face softens once more, your mind trailing back to all of those side-eyes that everyone had thrown in Otoya’s direction from before. 

The Otoya you saw today just seemed so different from the one you were used to at home, so much so that you still can’t decipher him out and if anything, the Otoya that you had witnessed today just even caused more confusion to you. The usual Otoya, the one you suspect is just a mask, is this composed and carefree guy that dawdled around the apartment as he pleased, doing whatever he wanted, whenever he wanted to do it. This Otoya however, was much more uptight, much more weary of his surroundings—you almost think that he’s mimicking his family in some manner.

Maybe that’s why he’s been so closed-off with you recently. Family can bring out the best and worst in people, so the days leading up to this event were the reason why he’s been so strayed from you lately.

“You know,” you start quietly, earning Otoya’s attention. “I wish you didn’t feel the urge to have to hide something like this from me. Unless I made it seem like you had to…?”

Otoya examines you in full, scanning how bleak your face is, how sincere it was. 

He remembers the first day you came into the loft—you, sitting there on the couch with your fidgety self squirming about. Originally, Otoya had not really thought that hard about you during the first few weeks you and him were living together, seeing you as no more than just a girl he wasn’t allowed to cross boundaries with to ensure nothing unnecessary would blossom. Even Yukimiya and Karasu had told him not to try anything funny, though he insists he wasn’t going to anyway.

But times change, as they always have. A crack was made in the wall he put between you and him from a specific day he saw you bring home a certain vinyl, one that he already owned from his own collection. That was his first break with you, your shared love of music—the start of everything. Of you and him. A unique relationship with a girl he’d never had before.

He thought it’d just be nothing more than that, casual chats over new albums and artists and whatnot. Until the small hangouts started to arise, where it’d just be the two of you venturing around places like record stores or flea markets. It was nice, being able to hang out with a girl without any other intentions. Perhaps that’s why Otoya allowed himself to get closer to you—you were a safe option. Someone he was able to breathe around just like Karasu and Yukimiya. 

Someone he saw as an escape from the roots of himself.

“I didn’t mean to keep it from you,” he says. “I just never brought it up because I thought I didn’t have to at first,” He shuffles his feet about, almost ashamed. 

He never even realized he was closing himself in from you when he received the wedding invitation all those weeks ago, a reminder to not forget where he came from, who he was supposed to be. That no matter how many times he attempts to bury it, that lost potential he never wanted to live up to was still a remnant of him. 

“I figured that if I possibly did, you’d view me differently,” he admits, “you’d view me as someone I’m not.”

He had a point; money does a plethora of things—one of them being the way people see each other. Whether one person saw the other as a walking piggy bank, or someone they could depend on financially, or someone they should envy, money was always attached to some sort of ugly feeling that you figured Otoya didn’t want you associating with him. Not from someone he had such a unique connection with.

“I didn’t want that,” he confesses and raises his head to face you in full. You can feel your heart skip a beat when he goes to directly stare into your eyes with those lime green eyes of his that hold nothing but genuinity. “Especially not from you, (Y/N).”

The way he says your name is delicate, like it’s fragile. The lack of endearment and nickname reveals the earnesty of his nature.

It comes to you suddenly, that epiphany you had been searching for.

You had spent all this time wondering about who the true Otoya Eita was that you didn’t even realize you had been face-to-face with him this entire time. That, in reality, the seemingly-fake Otoya was the one you saw plastered on his face when it came to his family matters, people that brought the worst of himself to light. He kept it professional, keeping them at arm’s length as to not let anymore of those feelings only they could conjure to light. He was just trying to bury that part of him on your behalf to keep letting authenticity bounce between you and him. 

But Otoya is a good man. A tad bit annoying, yes, you won’t deny you’ve seen some vices of his unfiltered self, sure, but at the end of the day, despite having that immense access to wealth, he still somehow lived humbly. It was ironic seeing as how he detached himself from his riches to become a happier person, but he’s clearly put in the work, seeing as how he seems to be content where he is. Everyone around him seems to be, as well. 

You give him a gentle smile. 

“I don’t think I would’ve viewed you in a different light even if I tried to,” you murmur. “You’re too much of a good person. I think everyone can see that, Otoya.” 

His eyes widen a bit from your tender response before softening. Your response is tender, an honesty he’s not familiar with, but embraces nonetheless. “Thanks,” he murmurs.

One of his legs shuffles around with yours, linking them together in a loose manner. Otoya turns to you. 

“You can call me Eita, by the way,” he proclaims quietly. “I don’t mind.”

The clicking of metal suddenly startles you awake, your body jolting so harshly, Otoya’s suit jacket falling to the ground from your body. Your head jerks up from Otoya’s shoulder, accidentally waking him up, whose own lied on top of yours for the small catnap you and him took, a groan rumbling out of him. 

“Awhuzz happening…?” he asks blearily, eyes half-closed.

It takes a bit for your vision to adjust, but the inner mechanics of the broken doorknob are suddenly moving on their own, a muffled voice outside muttering about. You tap on his arm rapidly, pointing your finger towards it. “Look, look!” 

Otoya’s drowsiness still stirs within him, but you go up and rap on the door, indicating to the person outside that someone was still here.

“Hello?!” you call out, hearing an exclaim from outside. “Hello! Sorry, but there’s two people trapped in here! Can you let us out please?!”

You watch eagerly as whoever is outside fiddles with the broken lock, the latch suddenly clicking and the door swinging open to your relief.

A custodian with his supplies appears before you, your unknowing knight in shining trousers. He widens his eyes at the both of you. “What on earth are you kids doin’ here? We’ve been closed for three hours already.”

I’m so sorry, the lock broke and we both got trapped inside since around eight or so,” you confess as you hand the custodian the broken knob. You check the time on your phone, the time reading 01:34 AM. “Oh gosh, we were stuck in there for that long?” 

The custodian eyes you both suspiciously, raising a bushy brow. “And exactly why did you both move into the same bathroom when clearly…?” he eyes you up and down, moving his gaze to the male symbol on the door.

It was your turn for your eyes to widen, a heat rising on your cheeks. 

“N-no sir, it wasn’t anything like that…” you stutter, shaking your head. “We just—will you shut up!” you snap at Otoya, who quietly snickers behind you to your disbelief.

The custodian sighs, dismissing it and just wanting his job to be over with.

“Y’all better get movin’,” he warns, checking behind his shoulder. “Security doesn’t take too kindly to who they think may be trespassers.”

When you both finally walk outside for the first time in hours from the bathroom and pass by the reception venue, it’s dark and completely devoid of all the decorations you saw earlier, eerily desolate. Otoya’s car is the only one that remains in the parking lot, with the exception of the night crew, and you couldn’t feel more relieved to be sitting on something other than a velvet stool for once. Who knew cold leather seats could feel so pleasant?

“It would’ve been easier if you just went along with what he was implying,” Otoya points out as he travels down the road, a smirk toying on his lips. “Would’ve been funnier, too.”

Your jaw grits, a familiar reaction whenever he says or does anything preposterous to you. He’s lucky he’s driving and not still stuck in the bathroom with you, because if he wasn’t, you most definitely would’ve strangled him by now. 

“Twenty bucks in the douchebag jar when we get home, Eita,” you hiss.

He stifles a chuckle, a warmth within him blooming when he hears his name falling from your lips. “Yeah, that’s fair.”

☚ previous next☛

a/n: this chapter sucked the absolute life out of me good god im glad it's over... a little bit of a serious one, but dw i'm pinning that clown nose on otoya again soon! also, this was the dress that otoya had reader wear; it's an actual piece from the oscar de la renta's collection otoya stated.

yukki's chapter is next, one that i'm quite excited for! i think that's where all the drama is going to start to happen so i hope you'll stay tuned (spoiler: they dance together aaa)

thank you sincerely if you made it this far, i hope you enjoyed reading! comments and reblogs are the best way to support your writers; they're always appreciated and never unnoticed <3

taglist (link to join): @okkotsuus @solaqes @cz19y @kiritokunuwu @/ilovenijironanase @cyberheartrebel @tecchouss @/inojinieee @beoms-sugar

*those with /, please turn on the ability to tag you in posts!

[heissenn]

𝐅𝐈𝐍𝐀𝐋 𝐖𝐀𝐋𝐓𝐙 kafka x fem!reader one dance to celebrate the last, a final moment to honor a love that cannot be. tags: 1.3k, violence, death, lots of angst

with a firm pull of the trigger, the final bullet of your gun embedded itself on the head of your last remaining opponent.

in the silence of the grand corridor, your bloodied body slouched from fatigue as you heave the sigh you’ve been withholding ever since you entered the large residence. from the near distance you can faintly hear the sounds of classical music. a distinct contrast from the deafening sound of your pounding heart.

you steel yourself and head towards the ginormous wooden doors. even through your blurring vision, you can still make out the intricate patterns of glimmering gold and elegant flowers.

you enter the hall and suddenly the prowling grasps of death were replaced by the lively air permeating the ballroom. the lifeless guards nowhere in sight and instead your vision was filled with lively guests, each presence commanding sophistication and grace. no more was the smell of metallic blood, just the aroma of champagne and expensive perfume.

even though your suit was soaked with blood from head to toe and blood drips from every step you take, nobody batted an eye your way. you take it as a sign to head to the middle of the vast room.

you down a glass or two of expensive wine and the taste of iron and lavish flavor burst on your tongue. and before you know it, you’re under the biggest and brightest chandelier in the center. where she agreed to meet you.

you don’t look around, just silently tuck your gun away. she’s here and she’ll come when she deems its the right time to do so. after all, she has her way of doing things.

it didn’t take long for her to show herself. you crane your head down from staring directly at the light of the chandelier and tilt it sideways. the side of your face faces your left back where she stood in all her glory. but your eyes never left the gold ornament decorated with pretty lights.

“would you do me the honor of having this dance?” the alluring voice drowned your boisterous heart beats and the calm music. purple locks and purple eyes graced your sight, what a delight.

kafka is finally here.

the question goes unanswered verbally and she takes your callous hands with her equally hardened ones, the dried up blood staining her freshly manicured yet calloused fingertips. the moment your skin met you hear the music in the background slowly changing from an orchestra to a string quintet, like a melody touching another.

you recognized it from the sound of the first note alone. but it didn’t matter for when kafka is around she is the only thing your senses can focus on.

your eyes can only see the little cuts littering her face that the gods, if they were real, rook tike sculpting. ears that can only register her honey voice and her touch is the only thing you are allowed to feel when she is near.

she’s irresistible and she knows it, you doubt you’re capable of refusing her. thus, the reason for your presence at this moment.

a few months prior, a crow delivered a fancy letter while you were on the middle of a mission. you would’ve mistaken it for anything else but the shade of the lipstick mark sealing the envelope was one too familiar.

you didn’t open it until much later to the day where you are in the privacy of the hotel you were staying at. inside the envelope was not a letter but a music score, filled with intricate notes and symphonies. above the rows of staff read “last dance, composed by kafka, yours truly” in delicate handwriting.

it took you a while to decode the hidden message inside the beautiful harmony, countless of hours playing the melody until it’s branded to your brain and you can hear it while you dream. your knowledge of music wasn’t that great but you can perfectly play this symphony on a violin, where it was intended to be played.

“how did you like my present? i thought a lot about it, you know,” kafka smiled at you as you both sway your bodies to the music she gifted you. both of you paint a moment that couldn’t be more immaculate.

“it was perfect. i’m confident i can play it better than the ones onstage,” you spit out, it’s been a few hours since you last spoke and you feel the blood bubbling up your throat. kafka laughed at your remark and spun you, her hands nor her eyes never leaving yours.

“i didn’t think you would actually show up,” you face her after twisting your bodies, to catch a glimpse of her eyes holding an emotions you have yet seen. something from her voice made you think that she was hoping you wouldn’t be here but you ignore it. there was no point in dwelling, you’ve had enough time doing so and your final choice was to be here.

“you wound me. you underestimate my devotion, kafka,” you mutter against her painted lips as you press your bodies close enough. at the end of the day, it all boils down to your devotion to the woman in front of you.

in your peripheral vision, you notice how the ballroom is empty. the guests with their fancy ties and extravagant gowns moved away one by one until only you and kafka were the only ones dancing. they form a crowd at the sidelines observing the scene before them silently, no hushed whispers and idle chat. just silence, only the sounds of your footsteps and the quintet reverberated the halls.

you feel their eyes following the both of you, as you weave through the empty and vast ballroom. but deep down you are aware that their focus is on you alone. your smile a little wider.

kafka dips you. her arms catching your waist and her face ends up facing your neck. she whispers in a hot breath before bringing back up, “your devotion blesses and curse me, my love.”

this time it was you dipped her except your face is above hers, giving you a full view of her face and her locks suspended in the air from above, “it’s your reward for loving me and your curse for making me love you.”

as you help her up, you can’t help but recognize the familiar ominous sound of music present in the latter piece of kafka’s composition. the music is ending soon and so is your time with kafka.

but you were always daring enough to desire more of her.

“i shall inherit your love and devotion until my last breath. it will be my heaviest burden and my most prized possession,” she caresses your face, leaving no skin untouched by her palms while her other hand pulls you to her.

you spend the last remaining notes kissing. in these moments, only the sound of her gift, the darkness and the feel of her soft lips are your sole purpose.

the final note rung throughout the room and echoed through your ears with finality. your lips part away but her held only became tighter and closer. for a moment, kafka wouldn’t budge when you try to inch yourself away but her resistance was fleeting and the next second her skin was no longer touching yours. you heave a breath like oxygen was removed from your body.

“i love you, kafka” you say through the painful breaths. by now, you were seeing blacks in the corners of your vision and even the light of the chandelier was a little dimmer.

kafka looks at you one last time before turning away. not before pausing and saying, “i know.”

you smile even though she couldn’t see and watch as her figure slowly gets swallowed by the crowd and disappearing completely.

as her shadow fades and kafka couldn’t be found anymore. the guests, whose eyes never left your figure, swiftly moved in sync. in the blink of an eye, thousands of guns, varying in sizes and models, are pointed at your already dying figure.

one foot in front of the other, her boots digging through the snow filled pavement but no matter how much kafka distance herself from the building, she was unable to escape the deafening sounds of gunshots.

in a way, her heart yearned for the sounds to never cease because of the meaning it symbolizes. but at she thought that, the sounds stopped.

kafka’s eyes twitched and her eyebrows narrow yet her hands clenched only to unclenched and repeat the same pattern.

her walk forward was lonely. with no sounds to accompany her. for she left all her music with you.

[monetmightexist]

alr thats wayyyy too much morse code for me to even try to decode. someone said 'train' for one of the first rounds in chat and im just gonna trust that until further notice.

but here's what my brain has decided to put together.

Main stuff, main vibes: Red. SO much red. representative of panic, gore, rage, death, whatnot (also notably purgatory's main color)... There was also a lot of muffled echoey screaming that might have come from the content creators. I saw someone guess apocalypse, and honestly, that doesn't sound too far off to me. It was raining in a voidlike plane, but then it would jump back to the federation building. Seems like they got the only bunker in the island. Who knows if the islanders got to go down with them.

The thing is that it's so... quiet. You hear one door open through the audible hum of the building. One slight squeak. Barely any rustle or fanfare--whoever is there is living a mundane life, it's very easy to assume it's a worker or curucucho. Not both, and not plural. They also like classical music, it would seem. Do we know of any feds that have that as a trait?

In order, the words that flashed are: "Return safe your journey is HIGH not over" The 'HIGH' displayed at the same time as 'is' as the video goes completely dark for a split second, I don't see any reason for it being there other than to cause some kind of distraction? It was significantly larger and took up a lot of the space that the main video didn't.

I transcripted what was said after that, it's a poem titled "In the Desert" by Stephen Crane. I'm going to look into the poem later.

"Our marketing department send this 782 days ago." At first I thought it would have been the first day, but it's not. 782 days ago was March 10, 2023, 12 days before the first day of QSMP. Maybe this is a tease of some sort? Maybe we have 12 days before QSMP 2?? idk man.

"I am rejecting the tape" suggests that whoever was speaking has some amount of power at the Federation. As someone who wasn't into lore and hasn't even glanced in its direction for a year, I do not recognize the voice, so I'm not a good source of lore stuff (but i can damn well try to be).

[4.30] was how they wrote today's date. [5,00,25] is a different format entirely, and includes '00' which.. can't really be part of a date, can it? Possibly coordinates, I guess. Maybe a code. I don't really know codes. I wasn't built for ARGs lmaoo.

[coniangray]

St5 teaser breakdown

(cus im bored) (spoilers, duh....i think)

All these clips are from the first 2 eps cus ofc they wont wanna spoil more that early into production. Like imagine if this felt too much of a sneak peak, the season is gonna be HUGE and this will feel like the 0.00001% of what it actually is lmao.

The school scenes:

i think first scenes, all from episode one.

The boys will catch a signal from the radio the night prior, paralleling s2e1

but this time either will lives with the wheelers or hes at the radio station and they contact from there.

the signal might be near a military base OR

its henrys signal that needs decoding excactly like the scoop troops did in st3.

So, the dynamics here are gonna be reminicent of both s2 and s3e2.

some quotes like "what are you doing on this channel again" and ''I cracked it", "cracked what?","I cracked the code" are also gonna make the cut. This scene will be paralelled with either mike or dustin, since these two were the brain of the party.

BONUS:

And what did robin also figure out in s4? Oh, wait-

I dont actually know what this code is, but i know it needs all four of them to solve it. And what if, in the background of the signal they catch up on little dream of me playing in the background?

The daisy song being broadcasted was accidental; the russians werent planning on including it there or they just did it as a distraction (they might have recorded the code within the crowd of the mall in brought daylight.) So what if the music, even if there is one at the background, is accidental too? After all, this song is mentioned as victors safe space because he called ella fitzgerald an angel, not henrys.

It all has to do with vecna at the end of the day, given how will touches his neck and feels him. This is an early sign of the symptoms, given how later, after school, they grow bigger and wider, giving will his first vision of the day:

And i dont even need to tell yall what this scene paralels lol

same table, but not same tree.

The code solving talk still continues here, because of how convenient it is to have will see the clock, zone out, walk towards it while the rest of the group talks about vecna and him capturing his victims in manipulative ways. In this scene they will bring up metaphors and allegories, just like they did with chrissy and eddie "do you ever feel like youre losing your mind?","i feel like im going crazy right now, doing a deal with the queen of hawkins high".

Also, like eddie said, this place promises safety because no o ne ever goes out there. SO, my bet is, mike chose they go there since eddie mustve told him right before he died.

bet hell say sth between the lines of "We have to go somewhere private. Somewhere no one can hear us." and thatll be most likely during lunch.

And thats where the bullies come in.

In order to continue their scenes out there, they mustve been interrupted by andy and jasons squad, and teased as to what they were doing with the radio on the table, given the leaks we got back in january or mike and dustin being followed by them.

no i have a feeling that during this arguement (after lunch and before the table scene), andy will attack mike and dustin and will will hopefully give a punch, paraleling el and angela in s4 and joyce in s3. This is my guess here, but i hope its true cus poor boy needs to throw hands with sb.

Spoiler alert it might not happen that day cus all of them are safe and sound without a scratch in the table woods scene.

After the woods scene, dustin visits eddied grave with his bike, which vandalized to the gods and guess who did it; thats right the bullies.

which will probably paralel maxs scene on billys grave

I wanna believe we get a heartfelt speech about his and mikes relationship with eddie, warming the ground for more eddie flashbacks to come. No, he wont get vecnad here, but rather found and beaten up by andi and the bullies, cus he was seen with a bruised face later on

and yes, the projector scene is also from the same day.

Another interesting thing to point out here is how the duffers said that our characters will start the season in action, so all the el scenes fighting vecna in the upside down and all the lights flickering, theyre all from the first 2 episodes.

After school and after the graveyard, with propably a few new scenes taking place in the middle, they all go to the new station set, and as it seems the byers are doing a presentation??

Probably from their experience in the uspide down, or most likely explaining sth about vecnas connection.

Orrr its a group thing, idk.

The thing is, dustin is beaten up standing next to steve. My bets are that hell notice dustin is hurt and make a huge deal about it, argue with the party on why he was found like that in the first place.

This would also be a chance to bring up the dynamics from the previous seasons and their flaws, aka dustin being with steve more time than he was with the party or others.

The thing is, in the same scene we see this;

M4tt showing n0ah how to choke.

Things most likely get heated in this scene, and that triggers wills connection with vecna. The mindflayer activates, and he becomes like billy.

And who else flayed choked sb else prior to this?

LETS GO BABY WE ROLL !!

Will will attack someone, most likely steve, cus he was also shown beaten up later in the teaser, especially in the car scene with nancy n johnathan.

Which leads us to this leak;

Its night, right outside the radio station. My guess is that steve tries to escape but part of him stays cus hell its will that attacks, that boy is harmless, right? While will is just there, chocking him and bagginf him to run.

Its the perfect lead up imo; first he feels the mf getting closer, then he has the vision and then he gets activated.

i feel like this is the cliffhanger between e1 and e2, since it would be perfect to have us waiting for steves safety and wills sanity for the next episode.

Bonus bonus;

Nancys Candy striper outfit

Going undercover in ep 1 was not on mybingo card, so im guessing shes an actual vollunteer at the hospital, because shed have to gain trust in order to sneak in and steal files.

but then again, why from tyhe hospital? all this place has ws maxs condition, which was already known to her and the rest of the team.

Involving her with such type of environment is simply to create more paraelels from the hmh scenes in s3.

Now, we also got this leak from april, and its most likely for ep4

the vollunteer is obviously nancy, but for her to return to that outfit, shell have to wear it again. So that means what i said, she became a vollunteer to gain trust and steal the proper files from the turnbows mansion thats connected to the lab.

Wills outfit also indicates its from a later episode.

As for the hopper scenes, idk a lot to break it down. And for el, this must be in ep 1 since this is unfinished bussiness from the piggyback if u nthink abt it

Thats it, hope you enjoyed my brain fart and i hope im right.

[myfairkatiecat]

ok so I read the first tmbs book cuz I saw it in my school library (state testing) and I’m not done but I have some thoughts

Constance is so insufferable, like idc if she’s’ ‘crucial to the mission’ or whatever shit Mr. Benedict had up the wazoo, she’s still really annoying. However, that could be a cool vantage point for character growth. Also the whole idea of special children being chosen was kind of pretentious in my opinion, but I may have misinterpreted it, with the kids just being alone and that’s what made them special, so in that case I like the ‘alone’ interpretation better. I adore Kate, she’s such an interesting character.

I feel like Mr. Benedict knows more about that one guy (bodyguard, forget his name) than he’s letting on. Sticky also has room for character development, which is great and I can’t wait to see it. However, I feel like Reynie is kind of a Mary Sue, and his backstory is kind of boring compared to the others. I do wanna hear your thoughts though. I’m on pg. 130, so no spoilers please!

Constance is fascinating. She goes through the craziest and wackiest developments of them all, but I would definitely say she grows as a character as well. She’s also… young. Really young. But I shan’t spoil.

The kids were chosen because they were alone and needed a team, and also because they don’t watch tv/radio and therefore they don’t get the secret messages delivered to their brains. Additionally, they all have something specific to offer! Kate has all the street smarts, Constance is… you’ll see eventually, Sticky has encyclopedic knowledge, and Reynie is a riddle solver. People who have a weakness for competency would definitely love this series because they each are astounding at what they do individually, but what makes them a good team is they have to lean on each other. The others don’t have Kate’s acrobatic abilities or street smarts. They’re knowledgeable but don’t have sticky’s photographic memory. Reynie’s ability to decode and solve riddles sets him apart with a special form of intelligence. I can’t spoil Constance yet—it’s just too good!!

They all passed the test in different ways. Kate with her distraction method that showed incredible on-the-fly thinking, Constance with her obstinance and refusal to follow rules (which, admittedly, is a good trait to have when going into the evil boarding school), Reynie by figuring out the test was a puzzle, and Sticky by knowing impossible facts.

Hm. I wouldn’t say Reynie is a Mary sue, but I also wouldn’t say TMBS is big on exploring character flaws and complexities in the main cast (aside from in their backstories, which are all fascinating). Reynie is an interesting character to me, but remember, part of his character description is that he’s perfectly average in every way except for his untapped intelligent mind, of which he is perfectly unaware until the series begins. He grows into his role as he gains more confidence in his abilities and intelligence!

I would say these are fascinating thoughts and that I recommend you keep reading. It’s a fantastic book series. I hope you enjoy the rest!

[r0semultiverse]

From season 3 episode 10 Revelations Chapter Two Live Blog

that's so fucking real, yeah & I'm glad Jim is finally fucking listening

That is an interesting insight into the potential laws of physics or I guess thermodynamics in Fromville.

OKAY SO SOMETHING SIGNIFICANT HAPPENED AT THAT TRUCK IN THE PAST. MAYBE CHILD KIDNAPPINGS? IDK

YA GOT CAUGHT. lmao

Ellis probably wants to scream at this little boy, I get it, but oof this whole situation fucking sucks.

Well, that's unsettling to hear you say that so confidently. Not beating the you-know-where-she-is allegations that's for sure!

YEAH ACTUALLY, THAT SOUNDS PRETTY CRAZY! Once again, unsettling to hear you say that so confidently!

My brain: "Hey Shadow, it's me, the devil, like in the Bible!" /reference

Boyd, I think this collective influence hollow ghost waterlogged lady thing isn't gonna let him.

OH MY GODS, WAIT, WHAT IF THE VOICES WERE TALKING ABOUT THE LITTLE BOY IN WHITE? I'm probably super late to figuring this out.

Not if the chest burster from Alien or Predator or whatever it's called has anything to say about it.

Elgin, that also sounds absolutely not within the realm of possibility! Especially not with at least 2 more seasons planned (idk if greenlit or not though).

YEAH, LIKE I WAS SAYING, UNDERSTANDABLE REACTION! Poor Elgin though, he's hardly in his right mind. Fromville's got it's grips on his psyche right now.

DONNA ME TOO THE FUCK, HOLY FUCKING SHIT. THIS WENT FROM 100 TO 500 REAL QUICK!!!

Even Ellis is having some second thoughts here it looks like at least to me.

Oh shit and with that I'm hitting 29 images already. Better make the 30th one count I guess. (okay took out a few images actually I'll try to be more sparing with them)

What is Victor gonna show him that's gonna make him angry?? I'm so confused.

Buddy, that's your papa, I don't think he could hate you.

KHATRI'S ACTOR IS SO FUCKING COOL EVERY TIME. lmao

Ghost Khatri or whatever is making itself look like him kinda has a point.

Khatri's making some good points, but is it him or a mimicry? Kinda interesting to think about especially given Jade's earlier words.

FATIMA OH GODS THIS IS GONNA BE HARD TO WATCH ISN'T IT.

LMAOOOO OH NO POOR JADE xD that is the look of a man who is about to lose his shit on some ghost kids HAHAHAH I'm fucking screaming "something more to say than fucking 'anghkooey'" got me fucking cackling audibly

HOLY SHIT IT'S LIKE THE CICADAS ARE LAUGHING AT HIM WTF OR IS THAT JUST HOW THEY SOUND USUALLY?

OH BUDDY DON'T.... DON'T DO IT...

Even Ellis is trying to stop him. oh Boyd....

"Now I need to do what I need to do." OH FUCKKKKKK THAT LINE GOES HARD!!

Thank you Henry for being here for your boy even though it's a super traumatic moment. :(((

HOLY SHIT MUSIC LANGUAGE!?!? I was just listening to a Homestuck video about that! 🤯

Elgin, you aren't making a great case for yourself right now. Boyd, I don't even know at this point man idk.

Okay, but why "can't" he though? Is he literally physically unable to? Or will ghost lady fucking kill him if he does? I mean Boyd is about to if she doesn't so idk maybe just tell him.

OH GODS THIS IS HARD TO WATCH FUCKKKKKKK

HOLY SHIT WHAT IF QUE SERA SERA IS THE FUCKING SONG THAT'S BEING DECODED? IT'S THE FUCKING OPENING SONG I BET.

Tabitha, you're a fucking genius.

A STORYWALKER?????? Someone who visits chapters of the story that already happened huh... wait will this have a butterfly effect on things?

WAIT YEAH THE FUCKING ROPE, SO IT DID HAVE AN EFFECT..... WAIT HOLY FUCK SO.... HOW MANY WEIRD THINGS HAVE BEEN PEOPLE TIME TRAVELING??

'No one can change a story once it's been told." Okay so explain the rope thing then?? Time loops theory??? idk

Sara.... what are you doing hun? What's uhhhh what's going on? Oh gods is she gonna continue where Boyd left off?

OH SARA HONEY NOOOO OH GODDDDDSSS OH NOOO DON'T PLEASE DON'T BUT IDK SHITTT THIS WHOLE THING SUCKS

oh god SARA NO SARA NO SARA NOOOO YOU WERE DOING SO GOOD

HOLY FUCK SO HE COULD ACTUALLY TELL THEM, BUT OH NO SARA :(((((( OH GIRLIE.....

MUSIC TIME BABEY LET'S DO THIS TIME TRAVEL SPACE TRAVEL OR SPACE TIME TRAVEL SHIT LETS MEET SOME GHOST KIDS IDFK

Okay anyone know what song Jade is playing like actually? Or was it commissioned for the show? Man looks damn good playing that violin though! 🔥

WHAT THE FUCK WHAT'S COMING OUT OF THAT TRAP DOOR WHAT THE FUCK WHAT THE FUCK

YEAH OKAY JUST GONNA PUT A SENSITIVE CONTENT WARNING ON THE POST MAYBE, WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK IS THAT?

"I'll be right behind you, okay?" Famous last words...😬

wait..... these stairs look like Tabitha's light house dream!

Well, you've summoned them with their song! 👀 The unofficial captions call it "Jade's melody."

WHAT IS THAT LIGHT????

THE THINGS THAT CAME OUT AT NIGHT SACRIFICED THEIR CHILDREN??? OH FUCK.... SO WAIT..... OH SHIT... OH NO IS FATIMA BECOMING ONE BY FROMVILLE'S HAND? OH SHIT OH NO OH FUCK PLEASE NO

Fromville's entity promised those former people they would live forever if they sacrificed their kids to it? Monkey's paw type of deal to make I guess given what it turns them into. 👀

The gang's all here! /reference

Oh gods please don't let Fatima become one.... oh no oh fuck.... oh god if she does there goes multiple main characters too... oh shit oh fuck im nervous.

THIS BABY IS THE SIZE OF A GROWN ASS ADULT WHAT THE FUCKING SHIT IS HAPPENING?!?!

OH NOOOOO THEY FUCKING BROUGHT BACK JERMA!!! 😭 Why is the fucking happy smiler back?? Stay dead!!!

ANGHKOOEY MEANS "REMEMBER" OMG

DID THEY JUST INHERIT THE MEMORIES OF THE FROMVILLE MONSTERS PRE-MONSTERFICATION???

Jim be less aggressive, but I'm right there with you, I'm also confused as shit. Did she make multiple bracelets to cope with the loss of Thomas? What's Jade's deal then???

"The reason I felt what Miranda felt is because I was Miranda." IM SORRY????? EXCUSE ME!?!?!? Like as in reincarnation?? Wait then who was Jade?? Was he Christopher??

HE WAS OH MY GODS WHAT THE FUCK

WAIT THAT'S NOT OUR JULIE!!! HER HAIR IS SHORTER!!!!! WOAH OK OKAY SO TIME TRAVEL REAL THEN TIME TRAVEL SUPER FUCKING REAL

MGM OR EPIX OR WHOEVER THE FUCK YOU BETTER GIVE US THOSE 2 MORE SEASONS BECAUSE WHO THE FUCK IS THIS AND WHY IS HE OUT DURING THE DAY!?!?!

Well, RIP Jade and Jim probably. Right as Jim became a likeable character too smh. 😔✌

THIS IS THE FUCKING PHONE GUY!?!??! "Man in the Yellow Suit" oh yes very fucking specific, thanks.

Never thought I'd be calling a 2nd character phone guy, TWO NICKELS!!

"Well, RIP Jade and Jim probably. Right as Jim became a likeable character too smh. 😔✌" I WAS JOKING I WAS JUST MAKING A WITTY REMARK OR WHATEVER 😭😭

ALSO THE LIGHT HOUSE DREAM HAVING THE CHILDREN'S VOICES MAKES SO MUCH SENSE NOW BECAUSE THOSE SAME STAIRS LED TO THE MONSTER BIRTH SCENE & THAT'S INVOLVED WITH CHILD SACRIFICES

[fordtato]

hi :) i just got through both your atots deep dive and the ford pines defense video and i just wanted to let you know that (especially as a suuuper new fan who has at best extremely vague memories of brushing past ye olde discourse on tumblr back in 2016 like some off-puttingly slimy seaweed touching your foot in murky water yknow) i really appreciate the amount of effort that goes into explaining every detail and including so much additional stuff (the interviews, commentaries, games, boxsets, the websites, the ciphers themselves because i do Not have the time to learn how to decode them). thank you :) i love learning tiny tiny details about Show In My Brain and while i'm already a Huge fan of ford it was also really nice to hear your thoughts about him as #1 ford understander (in my eyes). also, your style as a youtuber is really enjoyable, i had fun having you on my screen for literally nine hours :)

This is very kind - I've spent so long absorbing everything the Canon has to offer and I'm glad I can put it to good use.

Thank you for having me on your screen for 9 hours!

[plum-petals]

Hi again Rosie!! So I just finished Chapter 30 of the main story and I had a thought. (Obviously if any answer gives to much away please go ahead and use our favorite spy’s method of Discredit, deflect, distract. I won’t take it personally. 😂) In this chapter Violet and Jesinia are working to decode the cipher. Now you have two examples of the kind of cipher her father could have used. I have three theories of how she could possibly decode the messages.

Theory 1: He used the substitution method, but instead of the common language he used Tyrrish. This would be his way again of telling her they are her allies had she not already started working with them in someway.

Theory 2: if he used the transposition method the letter Violet found is the key. I feel like that letter has more meaning then we are lead to believe. For some reason I feel like the word ‘truth’ might be the key to cracking the code.

Theory 3: He combine both methods and used the letter as the key and Tyrrish as the secondary language for the scrambled words. I can see him doing this to insure that whoever attempted to decode the messages would have to be fluent and know what they are doing or learned to think like him. The man was a mad genius who taught his daughter well.

I’m probably reading way too much into this, but it was a fun puzzle to think about while bored at my job. It brought thoughts of how Allen Turing crack the code for Enigma during WW II. If you’ve never heard of him or what he did, watch Imitation Game with Benedict Cumberbatch. Awesome movie and an amazing story.

Enough out of me. Again please don’t feel like you have to tell me if I’m close or not! Just sitting here with way too much time on my hands. 😂! Speaking of hands, I hope your wrists get the rest they need!! Though I’m dying for the next update, I would rather you look after your self more than anything! We can be patient…maybe! 😂! Thank you as always for indulging my crazy ass and weird thoughts! 😜!

I love, love, love the codebreaking theories! I actually have three possible conclusions (as far as part i goes) to this planned… I’ll pick one when I get there! There are a few parts of the story that I have like, tentatively planned (like the poison solution) and I’ll go by the vibes. But I have the scene around it planned in my brain and I think a portion of people will really love it.

Ooo, I’ve never watched Imitation Game but I know some of the story! Very cool!

Thanks so much ❤️ I’m taking it easy and gnawing at the bars of my enclosure. There may be one or two chaotic voice memos on my phone. We’re getting through it!

[jungkoode]

Dude the chapter 11 snippet for 25H,,,,,, I love Noma 😭 she's so cute. I'm fully obsessed with her.

I know the vibe is Sexual Tension~ and pushing the big sexy man and his big sexy brain's buttons but the way she goes about it is so earnest which makes it so so so endearing.

Like Yoongi is over here Sweating, horrifically down bad and she's so earnestly conducting her little scientific experiment on what to say/when to illicit the reactions she wants to see more of.

She's just so endearing 😭 😭 I love reading the way her brain works

Also I love her and Jimin's dynamic with hobi being the devious little instigator. Jimin just being like "I'm so done with you" and noma being like ok but..... that is extremely secondary to the questions I need answered.

I truly love your commitment to making relationships with characters complex and allowing characters to not be simply assigned into categories like "good" or "bad". Because the little we have seen of jimins reasonings of not liking Noma like!!!! Totally fair I think. It would not be fun to see your friend put through this agony over and over again with no change. I also just like that you've written a relationship where they disagree fundamentally and/or have different views of a person and that's normal for them. A lot of times now I think people often write romantic interests as being perfectly aligned in thought and morality and 😴. Complex characters have been missing in forms of media in recent years and it makes the stories just so much better and interesting to read.

Oh my god this is so long I'm so sorry 😨

HELLOOOOOOOOOOOOOO ANON. First of all. How dare you. How DARE you apologize for giving me a beautifully thought out, high-quality, brain-rich take like this. Do you think I’m one of those girlies who doesn’t want 15-page essays in their inbox?? Do you think I post 20k chapters and go “oh no!! not a long message 😔😔”??? No. No, babe. I’m thriving. I’m flourishing. I’m feeding on this like a little lore gremlin with my claws out.

Okay NOW. Let’s talk about Noma. YES!!! That’s literally it—that’s her. That’s the exact dynamic I wanted to show. Like, she’s doing science. She’s running numbers. She’s like “Hm. If I say ‘your theory is flawed’ in a lower tone, his pupils dilate. Interesting. If I say ‘define dissonance’ and tilt my head 3 degrees he gets all rigid. Let’s repeat that test.” Meanwhile Yoongi is across from her like “🥵🚨🚨🥵🧨.” It’s so funny because to her, this is just data collection. She’s not even trying to be sexy—she’s just accidentally hot because she’s smart and terrifying and deeply fixated on learning Yoongi inside and out like a system to decode.

And YES oh my God thank you for noticing the Noma/Jimin/Hoseok dynamic. Jimin is 900% just done™ but also still participating because he cares, but he hates that he does, and Hoseok is like “I’m here to stir the pot and narrate and emotionally instigate :)” and Noma’s like “Ok valid but here’s a spreadsheet and six follow-up questions.” She is NOT emotionally fluent in human friction but she is excellent at interrogating inconsistencies. Jimin’s like “I think you’re ruining my friend’s life,” and she’s like “Mm ok but let’s define what constitutes ‘ruin.’”

And the point you made about not flattening characters into “good” or “bad”?? YES. Literally thank you. THANK YOU. We are so past that era. I hate when I see cast dynamics written where everyone is just perfectly aligned because that’s not how people work. Jimin having valid reasons for disliking her? That matters. Because he’s not a villain—he’s not jealous or petty or wrong—he’s just processing the trauma of watching his best friend get torn apart and is like “I can’t see this happen again.” It’s such a real, heavy thing. And Noma doesn’t take it personally—she sees it, catalogs it, understands it. That’s what I mean when I say “messy emotional realism.” People clash. People grieve. People love differently.

So. Yeah. This message made my whole day. And I will never apologize for being a writer who craves nuance, friction, and moral divergence. That’s where the real intimacy lives.

Thank you for reading. Thank you for caring. You are SO valid and intelligent and welcome here. Please come back always. I’m obsessed with you. 🫂

[deertaz]

Reverse Tropes!

De-aged fic:

Character B randomly, one day, wakes up at 80 years old. Character A takes care of them the whole day, while Character B is talking about recent events as if they are long-lost nostalgic memories.

Character B: 'Back in my day'

Character A: 'IT IS YOUR DAY'

Kid fic:

Two characters somehow end up acquiring (purposefully or not) a 75-year-old man. Shenanigans ensue.

Reincarnation fic:

Character A dies; Character B is their spouse.

Character B somehow realises that there is no 'afterlife' or 'reincarnation', but there is 'magic'. So he reanimates Character A. It goes horribly wrong, parts of Character A fall off, and brain function isn't great. Character B loves their Zombie spouse and kisses them until their lips literally fall off.

Didn't know they were dating:

Both characters are dating formally. Everybody in their life thinks that they are just friends. They have to try to convince their friends, parents, and even the court that they are 100% dating. They kiss in front of people, hold hands, and talk in-depth about their sex life, but literally nobody will believe them. They can't even get married because everybody they talk to thinks they are doing it for tax benefits.

Mutual Pining

Easy. Both characters think the other one is in love with them, but they secretly hate each other. They do everything in their power to avoid each other, but by some twisted fate always end up in the same room. Both are convinced the other one is stalking them.

Text Fic

Fic where loads of really quiet characters are in a group chat. They don't talk much. They sometimes send pictures of random things, and the others reply with thumbs up and likes. There is so much going on behind the scenes and the reader has to decode what the fuck the picture of a random room means and why Character D replied with 😨, and Character B replied with 🙏.

Fix-it Fic

Destroy it, fic. I hate this show and want to make it worse by killing loads of characters, poking a bunch of intentional plotholes in, and taking out all suspense and plot twists.

Harem

Every single love interest hates the main protagonist. They do everything in their power to avoid him, causing really funny situations. They don't want the protagonist to know they all hate him, so they try to make up excuses to leave. Love Interest A ends up locked in a closet with Love Interest E because they are trying to avoid the protagonist. Love Interest B formulates an entire staged argument with Love Interest D to convince the protagonist that they actually like him.

They all try too hard trying to make the protagonist think that they don't despise him, to the point where the protagonist is convinced that they are all in love with him.

The protagonist is monologuing at the end of the season/fic about how all characters are good in different ways, trying to figure out who to choose. While all the love interests are hiding on the roof, realising how badly they fucked up.

All the love interests fall in love with each other. And yes, they are all women.

Drunk Confession

Character A says that they hate Character B when pretending to be drunk. Even though they love Character B. They lied to them in order to get them to leave, because they don't think they are worthy of any sort of love from them. They thought that if they were drunk, it would make it more believable.

Extra

Vampires are allergic to your blood.

Self-Insert Scary-boo. You can't do anything right, and nobody likes you.

Pollen that makes you think the other person is going to try and fuck you. You are scared. The pollen made you completely infertile.

The big top CEO tries to lift the love interest, she's really fucking heavy, it's like trying to move a couch.

Two people bump into each other, and instead of dropping their books, the books start floating.

Body-mates. Different souls, same body.

Black string of fate, you have to kill whoever is attached.

[neuroticphysiologist]

Finally, a new Shortest Thoughts entry! This is for Signals, titled Chaos and Control.

Sorry it's been so long. The last update of this fic before I came back was way back August 2022.

Two years and six months later, here I am! Hopefully trying to finish the series. And also, I hope this could help me write well for my thesis because I've been suffering from writer's block for 4 months.

Anyways, happy 10th anniversary to Thunderbirds Are Go!

You can also read it here.

Note: Language, because Alan's angy

"Are you okay, Alan?"

"I'm fine, Scott."

"After all that happened? Havoc stole Thunderbird 3."

"The space pirates John and I met during the Eden mission helped us bring it back."

"Any damage, Brains?"

"Just a few scratches."

"It was a rough chase, Scott."

"Are you sure you're alright, Alan?"

"I'm not pissed. I'm not."

Lies.

I thought the mission was gonna be simple...

It happens, but we are prepared when something goes wrong during our missions.

But this is one of the few times I got pissed.

I talked to Scott again.

"Sorry I lied, Scott. The Chaos Crew bothered me, that's all... I sounded pissed, didn't I?"

"Kayo said you sounded a little bit pissed. Don't worry, I feel the same way too."

There are times that we feel like we've had enough because of the villains and some people who don't cooperate or follow our instructions. One example is the mission about Fischler, comet, and Global One. But we have to do our job. Don't let anger take over.

The Chaos Crew? They've done a lot. They even hurt Gordon. The Hood never gives up on stopping us and getting what he wants. He got arrested a few times but still managed to escape.

Sigh. But still, we rescue people, that's our job. It's the GDF's job to stop the Hood and his Chaos Crew, even though they've been through that many times already.

Did I mention that my body's a bit tired today? All the chasing, holding on to ships, fucking locked doors... I lied on my bed when I arrived at the Island with my casual clothes. I relaxed for a few hours and then we all gathered at the lounge.

I gotta tell you what happened from the top.

We got some great news. Before our missions, Brains was able to decode Braman's distress call and found out that it was Dad's. Dad's still around! We're about to solve the case of Dad's crash from eight years ago.

And we continued our search. Scott, Virgil, and Lady Penelope went to search The Hood's escape capsule underwater, while Kayo and I looked around the MSEZ. But there was trouble. The escape capsule and Thunderbird 4 got caught in sea sludge, while in space, Havoc hacked the GDF's laser. Thunderbird 2 went underwater to help Thunderbird 4, meanwhile, Kayo and I, well, we've been through a hell of a ride to get Thunderbird 3 back. Also, we destroyed the laser cannon with my astroboard.

We went back home and Brains checked the cameras from the capsule. He was able to find something. It was a clear view of the explosion. Zero X didn't explode, the ship went faster than the speed of light, and currently it's in the Oort cloud. We now know where Dad is. We're making progress!

All of us went back to work afterwards. Meanwhile, I kept thinking what it would be like when we get to the day we find Dad. Risks? Of course, there'll be risks. Tears of joy? I don't know. Someone might cry. Would it be me though? I was probably eight or nine the last time I saw Dad. I couldn't remember the moments before I last saw him. One moment that came to me right now was when I was looking for Dad for hours on the day he disappeared.

I don't know. Let's just say that it would be the greatest mission ever. It would be risky. It would be emotional...

Okay guys, gotta work.

***

...gotta make that money make purse.

[starchildrenofdustand-ashes]

Cabaret at TheKit Kat Club Experience !!

So, I saw Cabaret at the Kit Kat Club at the Playhouse theatre on November 15 (11/15/2023) with Nic Myers as Sally and Jake Shears as Emcee.

Below the cut is where spoilers start lol: honestly the whole thing is super secretive- from the stage to the venue itself. So if you ever plan on seeing it live or have the opportunity to do so, you have been warned!

When you walk into the theatre there’s this awesome:

You will see before you descend the stairs; at the bottom of the stairs, they put a sticker on your phone :)

You’ll continue walking down the hall where the walls are white and covered with pictures all over of the actors past and present.

You probably pass some of the actors who are milling about, chatting, flirting, dancing playing instruments.

I was in the first row of the upper dress circle and god it’s tight up there. Definitely wish I’d payed a bit extra to be on the floor and to at least have room 😖

Also note; I don’t talk about Herr Schultz and Frauline Schneiderall that much in these notes, but that’s because their scenes are so sweet and straight forward. These two give you the Schneider and Schultz you’ve seen and you know you love; there’s nothing outlandish or left field that happens with these two like some of the choices with Sally and Emcee. The same can be said for Ernst and Cliff. Nothing wild has been changed with their characters. In fact, most of this will probably be me trying to decode the strange new take on the Emcee and The Kit Kat Club. Anyway! Here are my thoughts and stuff that stuck out to me!

(Also if you’ve seen this production with Eddie Redmayne or have listened to it and have a hypothesis— he makes this strange sound like he’s spitting? In a lot of the songs- I thought it maybe part of the orchestration, but I didn’t notice it with Jake Shears and chalked it up to Eddies character choices. So if you know what the sound is or can give me staging It would soothe my brain)

Willkomenn:

🍷 in Willkomenn, when the Emcee does his whole “comment ca va?, do you feel good” speil he paused after every time, as if to test what language the audience would respond to

🍷 He kept the “do you feel good- yeah I bet you do 😏” line even tho it wasn’t on the revival album🥹

🍷The way to tell Victor and Bobby apart is to lift their arm and stick your face in their armpits and take a big wiff. Bobby did not want his armpits sniffed and Emcee had to beg him

🍷 Bro I love Hermann; he was so stoic and dead inside- he just stood there and did the most basic version of what everyone was doing. He was also fully clothed lol

🍷When they sing the whisper verse, they were all posing in various positions and the Emcee crawled between their legs

Don’t Tell Mama:

🎀 When sally screams at the beginning, she was lying on her back throwing a tantrum

🎀 The Emcee is on stage for the final verse and he acts as Sally’s brother: when sally says the line, “if he squeals on me i squeal on him” they squeezed each others nipples

Perfectly Marvelous

💚When Cliff and Ernst are talking and Sally barges in, she’s wearing her coat, a beige and orange scarf, funky sunglasses and carrying a ton of luggage

💚at the end of Perfectly Marvelous, when Cliff says “besides I’ve only got one narrow bed,” the Emcee rises out of the circle in the center of the platform wearing the exact same thing as Sally: the coat the scarf and the glasses. Two Kit Kat Girls come up the same platform in a suitcase that looks just like the one Sally was carrying

💚 Nic Myers didn’t do an American accent

Two Ladies

👯‍♀️ The KitKatGirl who “makes thebed” puts on a hardware belt and does explicit things with a hammer while the other has a spatula. Or a whisk ,, The One That “Does The Cooking” goes behind Emcee and uses the whisk to “thrust” into him and when he says daily bread, she pulls out a baguette, she also fills out a whip lmao

👯‍♀️ During the instrumental break all the other Kit Kat Members come up through the stage wearing explicit things and doing explicit things to each other. The one that stood out the most to me was Helga jacking off to a copy of Mein Kampf— it was super chaotic and I don’t remember details

It Couldnt Please Me More:

🍍More often than not the sailor Kost was fucking was either Bobby or Hans- even referring to the former as such. Also, they refer to her as Fritzie explicitly so it’s cannon that Kost=Fritzie and not just an actress double casted.

🍍Before Kost runs into Schneider after letting Bobby out, Schultz is leaving Schneiders room and accidentally is trying to out her robe on instead of his jacket

Tomorrow Belongs to Me

* So Emcee comes on stage holding a box and is dressed in a robe and only a wig cap

* One by one, the member of the Kit Kat Klub put these dolls that are wearing brown suits with Blonde hair on the stage. They are standing militanty. very much providing Nazi imagery

* During the song, the figures go around the turn table while emcee is singing

* At the end of the song when he says the last line, he pulls out a blond wig and holds it in the spotlight

Money:

💸Money was the song I was most excited for because of the images I’d seen of the skeleton costume. I had a hard time figuring out why the skeleton, but it was cool nonetheless.

💸 the Emcee rises out of the middle of the floor, his clawed hands reaching out first.

💸 I watched Emcee legit drool on the stage (Groffsauce in Hamilton vibes) he was spitting those lines out so hard

💸 I don’t know how to interpret the staging of the song, the real star of the scene is the costumes, but I took it as the Emcee represented money? Everywhere he went the KitKat Girls followed, wailing and begging him and the surrounding audience for money.

TBTM (reprise )

* I mean. I feel like the staging for this song is always consistent and similar throughout all shows; the individuals singing with Cliff, Sally, Schultz and Sneider standing somberly. The emcee is usually eerily looking on and depending on the show is seemingly jubilant or looking wistful.

* In this, the Emcee rises out of the middle of the turn table wearing his outfit from money. He has a conductors stick and begins conducting them with a smile on his face.

* My sister said the Emcee is “If Art The Clown could talk” and Yeah, that’s pretty accurate. He goes form being the raunchy Emcee we’ve all come to love- I think the Emcee, no matter who plays him is kinda creepy, so the creepiness didn’t seem unusual- to an evil nazi

* But when we see him in money and onwards, he’s definitely giving Killer Clown- she was right, Art the Clown from Terrifier.

* The Art The Clown juxtaposition to when he appears bare faced during some songs was super interesting. It really feels like the idea of “The Nazi’s weren’t demons, they were people who did things we thought demons were only capable of,” and that’s what makes it terrifying. The clowning character is seen praising nazis and cheerfully conducting their songs- he really does seem like a force of evil that’s simply from hell. But then he talks off his makeup in the coming scenes and you’re reminding- he’s just a human who behaves like a demon and that’s terrifying-. Idk if I’m doing the best at explaining my analysis of this, but that’s what I was getting

Kickline

💃🏾The kickline is lively and the members of the Club are trying to hype up the audience before getting into formation

💃🏾They were all wearing red party hats so when the emcee comes on in his red Pierrot clown get up, he has the longest, pointed and most menacing looking hat.

💃🏾he also has a gun? Thing? He shoots a Nazi flag out of it

💃🏾 The Members of the club form a hakenkreuz shape around Emcee and he hand the flag to Bobby and they march off.

Married (reprise)

🧱 the scene before Married Sneider and Schultz are talking about the engagement. Emcee is slinking around the stage and he has something in his hands wrapped in a napkin. His movements remind me of a mime, or as Chelsea says, Art The Clown, the facial expressions with overdramatized emotion and fluidity

🧱 he slinks between Schultz’s and Sneider with a smile on his face and suddenly there’s a loud ass crash that makes- I shit you not- the entire theatre jump. The lights black out. When they rise back on, there is white confetti floating downward, to represent the broken glass

If You Could See Her

🦍Usually, the gorilla in this is dressed up and it looks more cartoonish, but to, this was just a straight up gorilla- (A really good costume) with absolutely no elements of humanity. No clothes, no slightly upturned mouth, no walking on two legs and absolutely no understand what was going on.

🦍The Emcee would address the Gorilla as if she was human, but she would only respond in an animalistic way like scratching her ass, sniffing Emcees ass or flat out ignoring him and doing her own thing.

🦍 The Emcee seemed to be back at his usually self- joking and less like a demonic force - he’s clowning and making the audience laugh and there’s the Jewish line at the end of the song (which?? I was kind of disappointed by. It didn’t give me shivers and I felt it was a bit rushed.) also people laughed, but it could’ve been a “I laugh at funerals bc it’s awkward,” and not because they actually found the situation funny. My sister hypothesized simple confusion for people who had no idea what was going on. I will agree that some of the Emcees choices are strange if you don’t know the plot/ haven’t read up on this revival before hand.

I Don’t Care Much:

🎙️ Next time Emcee is on stage he is wearing a brown suit and a blonde wig, no makeup on his face- he very much resembles the dolls that were placed on stage during TBTM

🎙️I don’t care much occurs after Sally and Cliff have an argument as usual. But after Cliff leaves Sally is getting dressed. She is putting on the same jacket and pants the Emcee is wearing

🎙️during the song the emcee is doing some weird puppet thing behind her and she’s mirroring the moves she’s doing. it was an interesting choice during this song, but I think it’s been my least favorite change. It was like she was on strings and he was controlling her. I guess it provided a good visual for the notion that the Emcee isn’t a person, rather a representation of the deteriorating culture of the the city as a whole.

🎙️ This song is good at humanizing the Emcee, especially in Alan Cummings revival; smeared makeup, track marks, slurred worlds and stilted motions. It really paints a picture of a human at the end of their rope. In this version it just solidifies that the emcee is the city of Berlin and the evils that are taking over (Which, goes in direct opposition to my previous theory on his costumes providing human- demon Nazi images but whatever I dont have the brain power to think harder about it)

🎙️ After this song Cliff gets beat up by Ernst. After the tussle, the nazi thugs are actually the members of the Kit Kat club, they are wearing the same coat as Sally and the Emcee. They finish Cliff off and take his coat away

Cabaret

🍷I mean. Damn. There’s not much to say here. Outstanding performance. Like there are performances from different actors on YouTube so you could watch those to see the blocking because it’s pretty much the same.

🍷 Nic Myers did an amazing job, I got full body chills

🍷 one critique I’ve heard is that it’s over directed and this song is the perfect example of it. As an actor and a director, I understand both sides,; I don’t see much individuality between the actors on YouTube vs Nic Myers because the staging is so specific. I will say, through my opera glasses, the emotion painted in her face couldn’t be replicated and I think that’s really where the nuances will lie- in their faces.

Finale

📸 The Emcee is back on the stage, in the same position as Willkomenn- it’s like this weird pose with his arms and legs bent (you can watch the Willkomenn performance in gram nortons show,, that’s the pose I’m talking about ((I’ve heard people say it’s supposed to look like a hakenkreuz ))the only difference is now he’s in his brown outfit with his blonde hair. Super eerie.

📸 All the characters are standing on the turn table and the Kit Kat Members are on the outer circle of the turn table wearing the same beige suit the emcee has on. The other characters are all wearing brown and there’s an eerie sense of uniformity.

📸 Then there’s the long ass drum roll as they continue to turn before the lights blackout.

[leeminholinoing]

Love your brutal honesty

Damn I agree with you

1. I don't think it's unpopular but their promos that they aim at fans will flop if larries aren't here to decode that stuff they will have to change their strategy and I do hope they do that, sooner the better, make the promos less of treasure hunt and more here's the date and time goodluck

2. I think louis has lost touch with the fandom, solos, larries, neutrals alike and the way he says he lurks here and knows the fandom ins and outs he doesn't know shit, it's very hard to work with the fandom as together and if he wanted he could easily give something to work together rather than tearing it apart, they could do that so easily too, the more he says that he knows what goes in the fandom the more I think it's unlikely, he's just a bystander through grapevine either that or he truly knows and took part in the decisions of continuing to feed the rivalry and divide I mean he is british they divided and ruled the world what's new (this is a joke that isn't a joke)

3. I discussed this with a close friend of mine , louis' fans are loyal, dedicated, and passionate but it works as a sword, double edged, if you flip it they are as passionate as to turn on louis, the sooner he chooses one side of the fandom the better for everyone and I think he has already chosen the neutral and antis, and his last promo wasn't like Harry's find the house, it was look at my photos, it was aimed and designed more for solo louies and it almost flopped

4. So many larries have left the fandom, or are on the verge of leaving, are inactive and with more denials the remaining will leave too, the new surge knows nothing, like how to work with the artist's promo, Louis is rebranding his fandom and the larries will be sidelined it's better for them, but without them the fandom will be a lot like Harry's current one, casual, no rhym no rhythm just a wave and waves rise and disappear aren't steady

Also loyalty isn't rewarded with humiliation and rejection so theres that but whatever

!!!!!!

"Also loyalty isn't rewarded with humiliation and rejection so theres that but whatever"

I think it might be popular. I think people are also tired of the clues that lead to nothing (hum *369* hum). next promo cycle they won't be able to count on larries they'll only have fans who always told us "it's not that deep" (remember the home thing for harry's house? lol)

I agree I don't think he knows what goes on in his fandom or he would have stopped licking the boot of mediocre white men by now

Look at me becoming Louis and harry's biggest hater so I agree. I don't spend time on them anymore but I'm cheering from the sideline for them to flop hard and fast

yes, Louies are starting to be like harries which is so sad cause they used to have some brains. I think they'll just keep saying larries should leave the fandom and then when promo doesn't go well they'll cry saying it's larries' fault.... they are already doing this btw

[lunapwrites]

when you get this ask you have to you could perhaps maybe bless us with 5 of ur fav songs (currently or of all time), and then send this ask to 5 of your moots who you think have good taste!

Hi hello yes this is one of my FAVORITE games to play. But please be prepared for some slight genre whiplash haha.

At heart, I am an angsty bitch. This song MOVES me like nothing else in this world, and is one I will absolutely belt out in the car if I'm by myself. But also - this is one of a small handful of songs I have always wanted to animate something for because it gives Remus-post-81 vibes but alas, my brain and hands continue to be on non-speaking terms.

Fun fact about me: I decoded the entire alphabet they'd used in the album art for this, and used to write notes to my ex in them so that teachers couldn't tell what I was writing. (S and R were also the same symbol, reversed, which is really funny in hindsight, even if at the time it fucked with my ADHD lol.) I have also done this with dwarven runes from LoTR, and also the entire Al Bhed language from FFX. Anyway this album saw a lot of play during my sophomore and junior years of high school, specifically, but this song has always been one of my favorites.

Tori my beloved!!!! This song goes so goddamn hard, and I have very strong memories of coming home from school and turning on "we have MTV at home" (which was in fact actually better than MTV bc they were JUST music videos, no fluff), and watching this woman marching barefoot through the woods, blindfolded and bound, and just !!!!! Choirgirl Hotel was one of the first CDs I ever purchased for myself for a reason.

This song has the distinction of inspiring the tone and tenor of my first ever poem when I was 12, which I had to submit as a school assignment, and which my teacher felt compelled to pull me aside and ask if I was okay about. Having to explain to said teacher that I was not in fact being imprisoned in my own home and that the poem was about our new puppy crying in his kennel was... an interesting experience lol. What can I say, angst is in my blood lmfao. Anyway, this is another one I like to sing along to a lot, and holds the distinction of containing both the lowest and highest notes I can reliably hit. (I know that Chris is a Baritone with a roughly 4 octave range, but as for what notes he's hitting in this song in particular? Fuck if I know.)

This song. Has such a GORGEOUS buildup - there's a hypnotic rhythm to it also that is fairly common with Tool songs, but just... really really shines in this one. Also it's a song about his mother dying, and about his complicated relationship with faith (and hers.) Like... my god. I know everyone likes Vicarious and The Pot, and they're great songs, but like....

COME ON.

Anyway, honorable mentions go out to "Orion" by Metallica and "Elderly Woman Behind the Counter in a Small Town" by Pearl Jam and the combination of "Reset" and "Homecoming" by Misery Signals off of their absolutely stunning and literally flawless album Controller, and yes they do need to be in there together. I did also have "5 Dollars" by Christine and the Queens on here originally, but while that song is the epitome of queer joy to me, the impact of it largely comes from the video (being my enby awakening.)

Thanks for the ask! This was really hard to narrow down hahahaha.

[jadevalentine-writes]

Hello there!!

《Get to know your fic writer!》

4, 17, 39 🥺 and 70 please 💛

Hello my dear! :) <3 Thank you for the ask!

4. Where do you find inspiration for new ideas? - Great question! Inspiration strikes me in the weirdest way. Could be from a song lyric that I associate with certain characters, or perhaps a line from canon that goes unanswered. Most the time a plot bunny finds me then puts me in a choke hold until I at least scribble down the story idea in my writing notebook.

17. What do you do when writing becomes difficult? (maybe a lack of inspiration or writers block) - I keep writing, even if it's in my head. I rarely ever STOP thinking about my WIPs or blorbos, so even if there aren't active updates on stories, I'm still rotating at least one of them in my head at all times. That way when time/energy/will align and I can actually sit down and write, I am ready to go. The barrel is always loaded, so to speak.

39. Share a snippet from a WIP - I know you probably want an Idee Fixe snippet, but sadly the start of that next chapter is still in my brain. So have a VERY RARE DEMON INK snippet (written April of this year for the next chapter) instead! :)

Lan Wangji would not consider himself particularly fond of children. Unlike his brother, who found toddlers charming and entertaining, Lan Wangji found their constant stickiness and nonsensical rambling disgusting and disorientating. A-Yuan was the one exception to his rules about interacting with children. Lan Wangji strongly suspected it was because he thought A-Yuan was adorable and incredibly intelligent. The fact that Lan Wangji was dating A-Yuan’s father only impacted his judgement slightly.  Babies, however, were a whole new experience.  Lan Wangji had always considered them fragile and unreadable, as though the only way to decode their singular screams was to share their bloodline as a parent. He never thought he would see the appeal, let alone desire to have one of his own.  His mind started to change when he saw Wei Wuxian hold Jin Ling for the first time.

70. When asked, are you embarrassed or enthusiastic to tell people that you write? - Neither, because I never get asked lol I mention I write as a hobby in the real world but people seldom care enough to ask about what.