Tumgik
#so whenever I add is my life to something
pomplalamoose · 3 days
Note
Ooohhh how about different eras of luke (ROTJ is my fav if doing one is easier) and maybe some modern dilf!luke 👀 reacting to you laying your head on his shoulder when you’re tired or have a headache pre-relationship?
Anonnn, you don't understand, I'm obsessed with this ask. I just HAD to do every single Luke era plus the Dilf AU as the cherry on top because it's been so long since I last wrote something wholesome😩
also it reminds me of the posts I used to do when I first started writing and ngl I'm feeling a little nostalgic
• sweet ANH Luke with his open smile and honest eyes is so easy to approach and befriend, resting your head on his shoulder comes almost naturally
• though unbeknownst to you he'd immediately be on the brink to loose his mind
• already he tends to be a little jittery with nerves whenever you randomly appear in the same room he is in
• even more so now that he's finally admitted his major crush on you to himself
• so just imagine his excitement the moment you decide to sit next to him
• as soon as your head touches his shoulder he goes bright red and doesn't dare to move in fear of accidentally shooing you away, his heart beating wildly in his chest
• for a slight moment he forgets how to breathe, though it's not like he minds
• this is the best day of his life
• not only does he finally get to feel the warmth of having you so close by his side, but also your soft hair aginst his cheek if he dares to tilt his head just a little bit
• when eventually he manages to somewhat normalize his breathing, his thoughts will start to wander
• he's SO proud you're clearly comfortable and feeling safe with him
• but should he strike up a conversation? Ask how you're doing? If everything's okay?
• maybe he could make you laugh
• your hands look so soft; what if he were to reach out and just take them in his?
• would you mind?
• he's not sure, his aren't as pretty and smooth as yours
• you smell very nice
• wouldn't your current position make you look like a couple to an outsider passing by?
• what if, and he feels very bold just considering, but, what if you...like him?
• quickly enough he has a very hard time remaining calm
• and how could he? He needs to tell someone about this RIGHT NOW
• good luck trying to catch ESB Luke sitting still for even once
• though should you be as lucky to catch him during a moment of rest and manage to lean on him, he'll feel similarly as ANH Luke; excited, a little nervous even, though not as much as his younger self would have been
• still he has to fight off the blush rising into his cheeks and will absolutely deny ever changing colors should someone (especially Leia, Han or even R2) point it out
• at the same time he wishes for as many as possible to witness this very monumental moment, hoping everyone will see that you're leaning on HIS shoulder
• HIS!
• yeah that's right! In your face, (add in name of random rebellion member that also takes an interest in you)!!!
• if he's feeling extra bold, he may use the chance to put an arm around your shoulder
• but very carefully so; he's afraid to overstep any of your boundaries
• after all he's not sure if you'd even like to be held
• there's only one problem: how is he supposed to do anything now?
• he has places to be, things to do, an Empire to fight!
• he's getting kind of warm too
• more than that actually
• Force, are you hiding a heater under all of your layers of clothing?
• also he just remembered; isn't there a meeting he has to attend?
• shouldn't he be working to improve his x-wing?
• he'll check on you out of the corner of his eye, trying to get a feeling for how long you plan to stay like this
• he needs to come up with a way to notify the others of his delay
• because there's no way he's moving even a single muscle
• he's not leaving you behind
• he simply can't!
• not when he was just chosen as your designated spot to rest your pretty but, admittedly, very heavy head
• but not to worry, of course he can handle it!
• he'll be here as long as you need him to be
• RotJ and post RotJ Luke is hard to keep tabs on and thus hard to find
• all you can hope for is to encounter him by pure chance, as he seems to simply have evaporated whenever you wander around searching for him
• though despite his withdrawn ways he's always welcoming and inviting should you happen upon him
• he, above anyone else, understands the importance of rest during a busy day
• he smiles mildly to himself as soon as you settle down and scoot close enough for your arms to touch
• the emotions you are unconsciously emitting, may it be nervousness, excitement or shyness, amuse him a great deal and he's keen to see whether you'll overcome them this time or not
• I don't think he'd tell you outright that he enjoys your presence, that it tends to calm him down and to ease his mind, until much later
• but despite what he is or isn't saying he can't help but feel a little warm inside whenever you come across him during the day
• despite that he can never not worry at least a little bit about your well-being and immediately feels the need to check in on you either with words or a gentle probe with the Force to make sure you're okay
• if he has the time to stay with you for a while he asks if you'd like to lay down
• see, he can shuffle to the side a little and then you could rest your head on his thigh instead of on his shoulder
• wouldn't that be more comfortable?
• he doesn't have a blanket in case you're cold, but maybe you could use his cloak?
• it's not the best, maybe a little rough and still a little dirty from his last trip as he didn't have the time to wash it yet, but it does a good job of keeping a person warm
• he doesn't show how happy he is should you follow his invite and agree to rest beside him, though maybe Leia would notice
• and possibly so would you by how he'd start to absentmindedly stroke your head and play with your hair whenever others are around to keep him properly distracted
• I think Dilf!Luke's reaction would really depend on the current situation/ on how far your relationship has already developed at that point
• here it's important to note though that he'd never tell you off or send you away for initiating contact, not even after just recently getting to know you
• yes he's standoffish and withdrawn, cold in demeanor, seemingly displeased with your presence in his house
• but when it comes down to it he is kind, always has been, even if he hides it away to protect himself
• his behavior towards you is nothing personal; the emotions you call forth are his to deal with
• he may try to at first but ultimately knows deep down that he can't hold you accountable for how his past still troubles him
• he's a father, deeply caring in nature
• no matter what, he could never bring himself to deny anyone his child's age comfort
• though he might be a little confused about why you chose him, of all people, to rest your head on
• after all it's not like he's been going out of his way to be peculiarly inviting or nice - quite the contrary actually
• he'll remain very still for the duration of your vicinity, involuntarily stiffening not only out of surprise but because it's been so long that anyone outside of his immediate family initiated intimacy
• he's so touch starved, so used to rarely feeling a person's warmth, that your simple act catches him off guard
• suddenly he has no idea what to do, how to continue on after
• for your own good and his child's sake he wants to keep you at an arm's length and yet...
• if he wasn't enamored with you before, he is so now
• he thinks back to those moments of doubt and insecurity frequently
• but where they once haunted him, they now serve as a reminder for how far he's come and what he was able to finally leave behind
• he's proud of himself too, yes, but most of all to call you his
• every little touch of yours, and may it be one as innocent as laying your head on his shoulder, fills him with joy
• never, in a thousand years, would he once have believed to be in a position to reciprocate your gentle displays of trust and affection
• but now that he can, now that everything feels a little less like a dream, it's all he wants to do
• (and he does)
• (forehead kisses are his favorite way to, he can't help it)
• (not when you placed yourself so conveniently)
34 notes · View notes
xbomboi · 1 day
Text
misc. bribelle thoughts
prefacing this by saying bribelle is my favorite ship. actually might be one of my favorite all time ships considering whenever i catch 11:11 i make a tweet on my priv twitter saying “11:11 bribelle and rarijack” because i’m insane.
anywho…
i think it’s a lot easier to justify saying faybelle potentially has feelings for briar in a canon context because even aside from her diary, her behavior in epic winter can most definitely be read with flirtatious undertones, especially after witnessing the dream sequence
but i’m always trying to justify things to myself in accordance to canon without feeling ooc, because i’m the type of creative who would rather write my own original thing than make alterations to a pre-existing work. that’s just me.
and briar is trickier to do so with. in the show alone, she only actually verbally responds to faybelle once and it’s a line that also adds exposition. “but it’s forbidden!” girl come on throw faybelle a bone at least…
by epic winter, i’d say briar could potentially have had surface level attraction to faybelle, but it isn’t until having that dream and probably especially post-epic winter when she’d get time to actually reflect on it that she’d start to develop palpable feelings for her.
i’ve kinda noticed something about briar: she likes attention. i guess she’s kinda like faybelle in that respect.
briar grew up with neglectful parents. fill in the blanks. why wouldn’t she want attention when she lacks it properly from the two most important people in her life?
along this line of thinking, briar especially values explicit displays of affection, particularly from a potential romantic partner.
so, regrettably, let’s look at her relationship with hopper.
i.e. briar’s behavior in the webisode “Here Comes Cupid.”
when she first confronts hopper about his unconventional advances, she’s disinterested and borderline repulsed.
Tumblr media
but after hearing him profess his love via the recording, she’s taken aback and actually grows endeared.
Tumblr media
until this BAFOON fumbles the bag and does some really creepy shit by leaning into her personal space and calling her hot. understandably, this miffs briar and she once again loses interest.
Tumblr media Tumblr media
(side note, too many people ignore how blatantly creepy hopper is to women, ESPECIALLY briar. he needs to be held accountable, not rewarded by getting the girl.)
even then, despite not necessarily returning his affections, she’s somewhat comfortable in the status quo that he devotes his attention to her. which is exactly why i think in bunny’s diary (bunny is wrong btw she doesn’t know a damn thing so idk why the one wiki that’s not the official wiki list hopper as briars crush when the source is bunny’s word like fuck all) bunny mentions observing briar appearing disappointed when ginger asks hopper to the dance and he accepts.
Tumblr media
to briar, it’s like she’s losing one of the few things she’s familiar with, the few constants in her life. in this case, her only plausible option who she’d have reason to believe would accept. and we all know how briar is about losing things.
briar sorta settles into this state of fondness towards hopper’s affections, despite them being unrequited. because at least he gives a damn about her.
faybelle—at least, outside of her diary and up until epic winter—might as well be any villain; faybelle just wants to cause chaos for the sake of ruining somebody’s day. and i don’t think briar likes it that way.
i’d assume around the time of faybelle’s introduction to the series, briar’s stance would be one of upset towards faybelle, believing she doesn’t take their story as seriously as she(briar) does. that her role in sleeping beauty isn’t as important to her as being evil in general.
i have half the mind to say that this could potentially be read from briar’s behavior in faybelle’s diary.
Tumblr media
first off, that underlining wasn’t added; the underlines are in the official print. meaning briar is putting emphasis on those words specifically. sure it’s a lesson to faybelle about not being an asshole, but also it reflects on briar in a way. like it could be her saying, “you’re supposed to be my villain, but you act like i’m no different to you than anyone else.”
now, this next part is obviously a surface-level gag about faybelle making a malicious act seem so thrilling, but if we close our eyes and pretend that we’re in a different world called I.D.G.A.F. dimension, we can now analyze this in a different light.
briar’s confused by faybelle’s verbal expression of almost-affection. it doesn’t help that she’s most definitely barely awake. but i’m willing to say her confusion is partially born out of actually having heard faybelle say such a thing. it’s gotta be surprising and hard to believe in that moment, because briar has every reason to think otherwise.
in the show, like i said, faybelle just does whatever the fuck. open a sweat shop? sure why not. assist her peer’s mom in attempting to turn the entire world into her own dictatorship? count her in. make a deal with the mafia? just a regular tuesday. but god forbid she focus on being the one to make the sleeping happen in sleeping beauty.
i think that irks briar. or at least make her generally act indifferent when faybelle comes waltzing around to do god knows what; if she won’t care, why should briar, right?
then there’s epic winter. or, as i like to call it in bribelle terms, “they finally fucking interacted”
when briar explains faybelle’s inclusion of herself to crystal, she simply says it’s her thing and cites the sleeping beauty story. like “hey crystal this is my villain btw, trust.”
later when briar’s yapping about the story, some may say it’s counterproductive in relation to briar’s arc that ashlynn brings up the miserable part of it only for briar to talk fondly of it, but i know briar personally, and have been filled in as to what the truth is.
briar dropped that attitude because faybelle was there. she started talking up the story, almost as a cue to faybelle, like “hey remember how you’re like a big part of my life’s purpose???”
faybelle butts in about it. and briar doesn’t get the chance to respond, but i think she was almost expecting faybelle NOT to gaf, so her doing so threw her off just a little. maybe she expected to hear something like “who cares?” instead.
Tumblr media
then of course when they get to the castle briar’s little act is dropped and her deep fear of the sleeping beauty destiny is once again present. and of fucking COURSE that’s when faybelle decides to CARE ABOUT THEIR STORY.
Tumblr media
listen to me, LISTEN. briar looks at faybelle BEFORE faybelle actually says “no, there’s another room far more important to our story. isn’t there, briar?” she looks at her BEFORE she actually talks. she was looking to see if she’d react, then when faybelle does speak she looks away, then she bumps her to get her attention so briar has to fight the adhd and lock in.
and faybelle just keeps instigating which honestly kinda takes briar out of her typical sulking over her destiny mood and more of like ‘what is your game here exactly’ mindset.
Tumblr media Tumblr media
there’s so much to that look briar gives her. so many emotions in there.
after this they go up and faybelle taunts some more only for briar to almost actually prick her finger yada yada. and like i said, it’s a lot easier to understand faybelle’s pov. it’s very clear she doesn’t actually wanna go through with cursing briar, teasing and all. she makes as much obvious by her reaction alone when briar gets too close.
Tumblr media
but once briar’s fine she’s like ‘yeah, okay, back to normal,’ meanwhile briar is kinda just done because faybelle is acting a fool. but she never shoves faybelle off of her unlike she did when hopper intruded on her boundaries huh briar why is that what’s that about briar still, briar has yet to have any indication from faybelle about how she actually feels in regards to their story and her role in it. or how it pertains to their relationship with each other. rather, faybelle doesn’t take it seriously much to briar’s chagrin.
then the dream sequence happens.
to me, this is the turning point.
it’s a stupid music video for an insert song, but goddamnit it confirmed darabella and even hunter got to be there with ashlynn so i’ll die standing on business.
Tumblr media Tumblr media
this is what briar’s been waiting for from faybelle. that frenemy status is something i think briar wants to figure out which one to see faybelle as, depending on how she really wants to proceed with the story. and i’d say faybelle surprises her; hell, she even shows her a side of her rarely seen.
like with hopper, an outward display of affection such as this is something briar is drawn to. faybelle’s display towards briar in the dream sequence is something briar would be endeared by, as she goes out of her way to prevent her from experiencing the very thing she’s been dreading for so long. that’s gotta fit briar’s love language.
side note, i think it’s very very interesting to note that faybelle is the one to swoop in and save briar in this case, without any other characters present to show a significance in the ending of the story. i say this because hunter gets to be in ashlynn’s sequence and the bears are in blondie’s, despite none of them being in the tower asleep. all this is to say, if briar really did have feelings for hopper or really was gonna end up with him or some guy, they’d be there, right? but nope, just faybelle. I Understand.
after that we don’t really see them interact at all again, but there’s the general disdain for faybelle’s actions as a shared sentiment amongst the others. either way, by the end she shows remorse and seemingly ends on good terms with everyone, meaning i don’t see why briar wouldn’t be left thinking about the dream, seeing her in a whole new light. honestly briar would probably be kinda intrigued by the idea of the bad girl having a soft side for her. briar and i actually spoke about this the other day.
either way, this is briar learning that despite the general ignorance faybelle portrayed, she actually does care about her.
faybelle demonstrating, proving to briar that she is capable of showing affection and actually does care for her is what i think is enough for briar to begin to start falling. (which is kinda reflected in how i approached their relationship in fable fest.)
because briar knows there might actually be something there.
or maybe it’s a kid’s cartoon and one girl mean other one nice, idk.
22 notes · View notes
ra-vale · 2 months
Text
Tumblr media
I didn't want to put red robes on wkx all the time, but the extras are my indulgence for having one more “red and blue” ship.
I was also thinking of why do I keep adding make up to his design, it's like he doesn't look finished without red lipstick and eyeshadows to me. Or maybe I just want him to look like a disney princess 🫠🫠🫠
377 notes · View notes
Text
We should bring back that thing some websites used to do where whenever you made a post you could also list a bunch of random details alongside it, like the mood you’re currently feeling while writing the post, what you’re eating, music you’re currently listening to, what device you’re writing the post on, some random emoji, your personal motto at the moment, etc. It’s like additional character lore 
#I think you can do this with facebook still like you can put a current mood 'feeling XYZ' BUT you have to choose from their list#of premade emotions. You can't just type your own.#and you can't add a bunch of random extra details for no reason#Also DID websites actually do this? I might just be thinking of one or two. specifically I htink on deviant art (which I rarely ever#used except for one small period when I was like 14 yrs old and thought it would be Professional to post art there lol)#when you made a journal post type of thing I think you could put information like this. And I THINK you could maybe do something similar on#the journals on gaiaonline?? maybe also myspace but I remember so little about mysapce or if they even have a journal#type function. I MISS websites randomly having journals as like..a thing#like you had your normal post feed and then also a diary type place. Kind of like how poeple used to use facebook Notes different#from just a normal facebook post.#If I ever actually do anything successful in my life and somehow defeat the mental illness and physical issues and Situational Barriers#and actually accomplish like.. anything enough to be a professional with their own website (like how famous authors will have#their own websites where they post updates that are NOT social media like a facebook but. their own custom website or whatever)#then I'l make sure that in the code it's set up so whenever I make a post I can add these options ghhbjhb#Imagine some official really imporant release of a movie or game or something and then alongside it it's just like#Feeling: Evil 🤭  Eating: Shredded cheddar cheese  Drinking: water out of an old coffee tin#(I had to google some online place to copy and paste emojis ghbhjb i have no idea how they work )#Though also it wouldn't be interesting for me because I have a limited emotional range and also love routine so I'd basically always#feel neutral and just be cycling through the same 5 foods/drinks/music/etc. at all times hjbjjh#I also always wear the same clothes like a cartoon character#BUT it'd be interesting to see about other poeple I guess lol
46 notes · View notes
siobhanromee · 1 year
Text
.
#vent. Like if read#I am convinced that the people I've spent the past year or so befriending do not actually like me#And like I'm mad at one of them but it's over a whole host of small things that have built up over time#And not like something really huge and significant#But I have no idea how to talk through these things. I only know how to bottle them up more#And the pressure is just building and building and idk what the hell I'm going to do#Also theres a weird sort of envy factor at play#But like I'm also in despair bc I didnt befriend people like my siblings friends who are all lovely people#And I dont know if I am delusional or something but I am pretty sure that two of the people I tried to befriend hate me#And I cant talk to it with the one friend from that group I feel like I can trust bc theyre dating the one I am upset with#And I feel like a whole world of communication occurs that I have no ear in#Bc I cannot for the life of me start a text conversation#Like I can reply to an instagram story or a tumblr post but my ability to just say things ends there#I have less trouble communicating in real life#But like I do not start text conversations and therefore no one adds me to group texts or discord servers or whatever the stupid instagram#...ersion of those things is#So I miss out on a whole sphere of communication#Like I can carry out a phone conversation just fine but like I have NO IDEA what the etiquette around phone calls is with ppl my age#Like I can just call my grandma whenever and she would be happy to talk#But I am under the impression that people my age hate phone calls and do not like to be called#And like this whole time I am entirely unsure abt what to do#And I have a couple of acquaintances/casual friends who I feel like I would be able to talk to abt most things#But for a wide variety of reasons I cant confide in them abt this particular issue.#And I think I've made my feelings abt that person worse bc I let all this tiny angers rot and fester#And didnt deal with them when they came up#And the things I was angry abt are not even things that matter especially now. Bc they were over specific projects that were in the past#But I still feel sour and angry abt them#And I have to go see these ppl tomorrow and either a) swallow my feelings some more or b) try and deal with it but risk making things worse#I like hanging out in a big group like 7-10 people bc then it's hard for ppl to pair off and leave me as a third wheel#this post will self destruct in the morning probably
2 notes · View notes
astrxealis · 1 year
Text
damn i never thought i'd get into stardew valley this much but here we are !! makes perfect sense tho
#⋯ ꒰ა starry thoughts ໒꒱ *·˚#heyy this adds to my roster of games that actually have Evidence#gotta play more soulsborne legitimately soon so i have more evidence of my range LMFAO ...#i love how my. taste in games is really broad tbh! i'm willing to try anything out but i do uhh am less inclined to the more popular ones?#unless i get into them by way of. personal. or without outside influence#but if there's a certain something that makes me dislike a media yeah ... i do end up more indifferent tho. ultimately#i think sdv is another huge example of how me and lune really go all in when getting into smth#like terraria. but we end up forgetting about it pretty soon after. oops!#it depends tbh on how bored we are? how much we have to do. so yeah#xiv was That for a very long time bcs we didn't really have anything else uhh insert hashtag xiv was there for us when nobody was#aaa so thankful to xiv fr. idk. i think about what it has done for me sometimes and i get really emotional!#also funny how things connect. i got back into tumblr bcs of jjk and then connected w others mostly thru gi. and then twt thru a friend i#met thru a school event wholy thru chance. who got me back into twt where i connected with others thru ff(xiv)#and i find it fascinating how people make friends irl! i think its easy for me to feel that way 1. its just who i am lol its in my nature#2. im more of a bystander so. yeah. ez for me to study people and people-watch. idm that much tbh#it's funny... hmm interesting? a bit sad too. wnvr i want to. Take A Step Further. i end up not caring anymore LMFAOOO but tbh it's really#nice in the long run! my outlook on life is pretty weird tbh like uhh... idk. hard to explain. complex#whenever i face a problem i'm. absolutely confident i'll get over it. and unfortunately i feel like that... sense of confidence is rather ra#rare*? idk. and the fact i've always known (always!) i'd love myself no matter what. even if sometimes i would be really insecure. i never#truly hated myself and i sincerely doubt i ever will. but the fact i often suceed and rise from my failures that sometimes they don't feel#like failures doesn't mean that uhh i'll end up facing my downfall through. naive confidence? i try to be self-aware and do my best for no#regrets and it's fascinating how my values in life are shaped by my past. not just me. everyone. damn. i think the formative years of a#person are so goddamn fascinating and also i'm still unsure what i want for college but it's already fucking march HELP#anyway wow. i dont want to be too harsh on myself if the What If bad scenario/s end up happening but i'll really try my best#my aunts on my dad side both got into up diliman and i'll be damned if i don't. i know i can do it. i just gotta put in a ton of effort.#okay rambles bye bye#also i've been staying up until 3/4 ever since break LMFAOOO SDV HAS RUINED ME dw i'll be good again next week lmfao
3 notes · View notes
Text
-
#I would kill my ex ‘p’ to become rich.#I would kill my ex ‘m’ to obtain even more beauty and attract even more people.#I would beat up my ex ‘b’ to the point of him almost dying to have a nice house and the best of the best of things.#I would beat up my bf ‘d’ to be more mentally stable so that I am balanced and at peace with myself and my life.#I would kill my ex ‘k’ to become a well known scholar who has many degrees in maths science and philosophy and to preform surgery&research#I would step on anybody to get to where I want to be in life if it meant making myself happy.#I just manipulated my bf into feeling bad for me because I genuinely just want to feel good and secure even if that’s at his expense.#he’s right.. I don’t care about anyone more than myself and I don’t think that’s a bad thing. why should I put someone above myself?#I’ll tell you what.. until someone can show me that being a good honest generous person can get me anywhere I’ll keep doing what works :)#grey god#puppets#and I genuinely just don’t like or care for others. there’s always something I want in return when it comes to relationships with others.#I find humans disgusting and faulty and I don’t care if I add to their pain because it’s usually to benefit me and if it doesn’t it’s to-#-get back at others for hurting me. or I’m bored. I probably have the most sick and twisted mind of anyone I know. I think people know that#-tho but they still keep me around and help me out whenever I need it. it’s all a show for me and for them. people are so stupid and they#-genuinely think doing the right think helps them. it doesn’t. it’s kind of sad. I just know that once ‘d’ realizes I’ve taken him for -#-everything he’s got it’ll be too late and he’ll have to deal with how much better I am than him and how much I’ve grown leeching off of-#-his emotional labor. I just jump from one person to another taking what I want and what I can. I don’t think I’ve genuinely loved anyone.#I’ve always been this way. I almost love people but then I just truly don’t. it’s more fun to see how far I can break them before#-they can’t do it anymore. I hope that everyone I’ve ever hurt continues to hurt forever and that they never grown or evolve.#’d’ told me tonight that I ruined his life. ‘b’ told me I ruined him. ‘m’ is a coward and he said he’ll never love again.#’k’ is a used up simple minded loser. ‘p’ is a stunted delusion addict with me issues for the rest of his life. notice I said me issues and#not daddy or mommy issues lol. I have tricked them all. they are all pathetic and whimpy fucks.#the day I grinded against ‘d’s sluty ass again after I ‘raped him’ he told me to go slow but it made me think.. what if I just raped him?#I could just do it and he won’t do shit about it. he’ll forgive me like always. he’s an insecure loser. I wanted to just take my dick-#and shove it down his throat and then ruin his hole with it#but I didn’t. I respected what he said but the fact that I thought about it isn’t good.
2 notes · View notes
foone · 1 year
Text
I see a lot of people joking about the adhd thing of "I have a appointment/phone call at 3pm, guess I won't do anything all day!"
But no one seems to make the connection that it's a time blindness thing. One of the symptoms of ADHD is not having a good and accurate sense of time. And not doing stuff prior to an event with a hard deadline is an obvious coping mechanism for that.
Can I go to the store? It's 10am and the appointment is at 3pm. How long does going to the store take? An hour? Three hours? Five hours? I DON'T KNOW!
I get anxious trying to do things before appointments because I'm aware that I don't know how long those things take, and that if I think I do, I may be very wrong. Too often I've been like "hey I can walk to the corner store and grab a drink, that'll take like 15 minutes!" and then an hour later I get back and whoops my rice has burnt.
Plus there's also the fact that ADHD people know that motivation and focus is a two-edged sword.
Like, let's say you decide to play a video game. You've got time, you can pause/save whenever, so this should be a perfect fit to make good use of your waiting-time. So you start playing and WHOOPS you get really focused for some reason today (because people with ADHD do not get to pick when their brain decides to focus) and the next time you look at the clock it's 2:49 and you haven't showered or dressed and the appointment is 30 minutes away. Fuck. (you could have set an alarm, but now you're asking people with the forgetting-things-and-time-ignoring condition to remember it set alarms)
And with motivation, it can be almost worse. Instead of playing a game, you so something useful or creative. You clean your room or fix your plumbing or write a story or draw a picture. And suddenly it's great. Your brain is firing on all cylinders. You've got all the motivation you can ask for, and you are FLYING. the ideas are brilliant, your hands are nimble, you're getting stuff done you've been putting off for weeks or months. And then the alarm goes off. Time to go to your appointment. Fuck.
You drive there, your brain still full of ideas and plans. But by the time you get back, the motivation is gone. You may still have the ideas but you don't have the drive to write them down. You can't force yourself to do it. Your sink is still in pieces. Your room is half-cleaned, and you have to shove all the sorted clothes into one big bin just so you have somewhere to sleep. You've left things half finished again, in a cycle that has been repeating your whole fucking life. It seems sometimes that nothing ever gets finished.
So next time you don't even start. There's not time. You've been burnt too many times. Why add another half-completed project to your pile of shame?
My point is that people seem to be going "lol I can't do anything all day if I have an appointment at 3pm" like this is a quirky "oh I'm so scatterbrained!" weirdness they alone have, and not a major complication of a disabling mental illness.
(and that's not even getting into the secondary effects. If you know that having an appointment ruins your whole damn day, you're going to avoid them. Even when it's things like "going to that party" or "meeting your friends for a drink/game" or "going to a movie with that cute girl from your math class". Things you should enjoy. Things that'd help you be social. Things that make you feel human.)
53K notes · View notes
sweet-as-an-angel · 3 months
Text
Giant! König Headcanons
Tumblr media
Warnings: 18+, Creep! König, Perverted! König, König Owns a Cum Jar, Size Difference, Giant! König, Size Kink, Sadistic! König, Abuse of Power, Dub-Con, Cum Soaking, Attempts at Forced Impregnation, Implied Pregnancy, Voyeurism, Hostage Situation, Human Pet! Reader, Physical Violence, Human! Reader, Fem! Reader.
Giant! König captures you after he catches you sneaking around his castle, trying to loot something of value to take back to your impoverished village.
Giant! König immediately jumps at the opportunity to take you as his human pet, throwing you into a nearby jar and closing the lid, observing you like a spider beneath a glass.
Giant! König who, after deciding he wants to keep you long-term instead of turning your body into the sprinkles atop his ice cream, creates a more sustainable living space for you after discovering you’re not as durable as he thought (almost suffocating, dehydrating, and starving to death whilst being held in that damn jar).
Giant! König surprises you with a dollhouse of his own design: a door that locks from the outside, windows too small for you to crawl through, and walls made of a material too strong for your tiny utensils to burrow through.
Giant! König doesn’t take long to start using you for his own pleasure – almost like he has no other outlet; like he was just waiting for this opportunity to come.
Giant! König who, whenever he feels like punishing you, puts you in The Jar and stares you down whilst stroking his cock, gigantic even in comparison to other giants’. He grunts, berating you, telling you how he’d “Fill you with my cock if you weren’t so small – bet I could crush you with it if I wanted to.”
When he’s ready, he cums into the jar – all over you – thick and heavy, almost drowning you with just one spurt of his load.
He loves watching you struggle to keep your head above the viscous pool he’s trapped you in as you literally swim in his semen, looking up at him with pleading eyes, begging him to “Get me out, please!”.
He’ll often leave you in there without clothes to try and teach you a lesson. Until it turns into another reason – to breed you – which you accidentally sparked in him when you told him to be careful! You’ll end up getting me pregnant!
Giant! König can’t get your words out of his head, the primal urges he’s suppressed for so long unearthed by your pleas for him to spare you, if only once.
Giant! König knows he’s way too big to fit inside you, so this –  cumming profusely into a jar he’s encased you in whilst giving you no means of refusing his attempts – is the next best thing.
Giant! König gets off on the sheer size difference between the two of you  – the fact that you’re entirely dependent on him for your survival. Makes him feel like the kind of giant he’s supposed to be; strong and well-seeded.
Giant! König lays awake at night and fantasises about having a family, a far-off dream until you came along. It’s all he can think about as the image of you, his tiny wife, swollen to an almost painful degree as you bear his children, floods his mind, makes his cock twitch – harden. He resists the urge to relieve himself of this burden, preferring to save every ounce of his seed for you rather than wasting even a drop of it.
Giant! König who, despite his…questionable treatment of you, does try to treat you well. He lets you eat as much as you want, both because he knows you come from a poor background and because he has to keep you healthy to bear his offspring — especially since he knows they’ll be quite big compared to you.
Giant! König enjoys questioning you about your life before him, how humans work, what they do all day, whether the stereotypes of them all being lustful, pride-driven,  creatures are true.
If you validate any part of this stereotype, he’ll use that as an excuse to sink you in even more of his cum, to subject you to the task of sitting on his cock (horizontally, might I add) while he commands you to get yourself off by humping the shaft.
Man’s had no outlet for basicall all his life – he’s feral.
Giant! König loves to watch you while you’re tucked up in your dollhouse, observing everything you do. Humans are a rarity in the Giant Lands, so to have one in his home is a mythic occurrence.
Giant! König loves showing you off; he thrives on the reaction he gets when his friends see you. You’re, as stated before, a rarity in their parts, often used as a delicacy rather than a pet since humans aren’t particularly sturdy compared to giants, so managing to keep one alive is something of a status symbol in itself; the mark of a truly capable mate (hence captive humans are often given as courting gifts between giants).
However, König is also highly protective of you – especially after he caught Horangi (another giant he’d been showing you off to) goading you – harassing you – stroking his cock, telling you to “Lick the tip. Never felt a human tongue before.”
Needless to say, König never invited him around again after that.
Giant! König is, obviously, good with his hands and technical know-how. Thus, if his method of soaking you in his semen doesn’t work when trying to knock you up, he’ll create some unlawful contraption to make it inevitable.
Despite his size, König has managed to make a tiny glass syringe that he’s packed with his cum, holding you down easily with one hand as he presses the tip to your entrance, pumping you full of his seed.
He struggles to contain how the scene – the feeling – of you trying desperately to fight him off, to stop him from filling you, makes him feel. You have to watch the bulge between his legs grow as the feeling of being filled past full overcome you.
Giant! König does this as many times as he likes until he knows his seed’s taken, when you start showing. Which, considering how big his offspring will be, is pretty early on.
He definitely makes maternity clothes for you – comfortable garments that show the swell of your stomach as the weeks crawl by into months.
Giant! König loves bathing you, too. Especially after he’s covered you in his cum.
There’s something so intimate and gentle about it – a scarcity in the Giant Lands. Having something so small and fragile in his hands, knowing that he can crush you in his grip at any moment, makes him feel…responsible. Trustworthy.
Giant! König will never let you go, btw. You can try to run as much as you want, but he’ll always catch up to you, his human pet.
Reblog for more content like this! It helps creators like myself tremendously and it is greatly appreciated :-)
Masterlist Masterlist [Continued] Masterpost Modern Warfare AI Masterlist
AO3 Wattpad Tumblr Backup Account
4K notes · View notes
ragingbookdragon · 3 months
Text
It comes as somewhat a surprise when the others realize that something has obviously happened between their resident Lieutenant and Private, as she’s quick to fall silent whenever he appears, and even more so make herself scare when she can when he’s around. It’s only the third time that Soap sees it that he says something, because if he doesn’t no one else will, and where’s the fun in that?
He watches her duck her head and leave the break room, Gaz, Soap, Price, and Ghost sitting alone at the breakfast table conversing over soggy cereal and cooling tea; Soap pushes a piece of bacon on his plate and asks, “Trouble in paradise, Lt?” the corner of his mouth arches with a slight grin when he hears the warning grunt come from Ghost.
“No.”
“Seems like it,” he retorts, taking a sip of his coffee. “What’d ya do? Tell her ta fuck off?”
“Drop it, MacTavish,” Ghost warns darkly. “Nothing’s wrong.”
This time, Gaz jumps in. “C’mon, Lt., it’s obvious that something’s wrong. I mean, she won’t even look at you, let alone say anything unless you speak first.”
“An’ she’s callin’ ‘im ‘sir.’” Soap adds, pointing at him. “Christ, Lt., ya musta done a number on ‘er. Poor Puffin. So sweet and kind. Broke ‘er heart ya did.”
Price can tell that Ghost is close to snapping at the both of them but gets to it before he does. “Soap, Gaz, go catalogue our inventory for the mission next week.”
“Aw, but we already d—” Soap falls silent when Price shoots him a look and quietly grumbles to himself as he grabs his plate and cup, Gaz following in suit.
It’s only until the two soldiers are alone that Price asks, “What did happen, Simon?”
Ghost lets out a long sigh and rolls his head back, staring at the ceiling. “Pretty much told ‘er to fuck off.”
Price watches quietly as Ghost begins rattling to himself—he’s never really had to ask the man to explain himself. All he’s gotta do is prompt him to do so and Ghost does the rest.
“I just got mad. She’s always ‘round and practically up my arse, and I got caught up and instead of ‘andlin’ it properly, I shoved my fucking foot in my mouth and scalped her.” He rubs a hand over his face. “I meant to be gentler but once I started, I couldn’t stop. It just kept comin’ out. And now she fuckin’ hates me.”
He pulls his hand down and looks up at Price with a scowl—the man is smiling at him, but it’s that stupid smile that means more than Ghost wants to admit it does.
“Quit that.”
“You care about her,” Price murmurs, rubbing his chin thoughtfully, though his admonish is still harsh. “And instead of telling her how you felt like a grown adult, you took the ten-year-old way out and decided to be a cunt to her.”
“I didn’t mean to be such a cunt.”
“But the fact of the matter is that you did, and you’ve screwed up team fluidity and cohesion.” He looks at him. “You know a team divided—”
“Can’t stand,” Ghost finishes with an even worse scowl. “Yeah, yeah, I know.” He looks away. “I just don’t know how to even start tryin’ to fix it.”
“Well, apologizing might be a good start,” Price rumbles with a grin. “She’s a good kid, Simon. Her heart’s in the right place, even if it’s a bit much at times. Shows she cares. More than most do in our line of work. She’s a rare one.”
“I know,” he admits in a much, much softer tone. “I just don’t want her to lose that doin’ this.” His eyes meet Price’s, and they hold such a misery. “Look at us, Price,” he mutters, gesturing between them. “Middle age, unmarried, no kids, too fucked up for anything like that. She doesn’t…” he clenches his jaw. “She deserves a better path, a safer path, than this life. She deserves to go out and have a life where she comes home to a family.”
“That’s not your choice to make, son,” he replies gently, but there’s a firmness to it. “If this is what she wants to do, then she will. We can’t make her get out of service.”
Ghost growls low in his throat. “She has so much more potential than being cannon fodder. She could do somethin’ with her life. Somethin’ good. Somethin’ that won’t have her dying face down in the sand with a bullet wound in the back.”
Price simply watches him.
“But she’s so fuckin’ stupid. She wants to be here. She wants to spend whatever time she has dodgin’ bullets and wakin’ up every night in sweat ‘cause she can’t escape the dreams. No one wants to do this. We don’t want to do this. We do this because we have to. But her? She’s happy here.” He lowers his voice, it’s as if he’s in disbelief. “She’s happy here.” He looks at Price. “Why? Why is she so happy here?”
It's another long moment before Price speaks.
“You hear, son, but you don’t listen.” He moves the cup on the saucer. “She bounced around homes growing up, scraped by on the skin of her teeth. She has no one. But here, she has something. She has people who care for her, if nothing else, they won’t let her die alone.”
“Oh what? So, it’s found family bullshit?” Ghost spits. “If she dies, at least the team would mourn her?”
“Isn’t that what you’ve done too?” he replies, and Ghost falls silent. “People like Gaz, Soap, and myself are different than you and she are, Simon. We have homes. We’ve had families that have loved us, that do love us. But you two? Simon, you’ve made a home where you’ve had to. Made a family out of people you’ve bled for, would gladly bleed for. You’ve made something that’s yours. You made a family for yourself. And so did she. She’s made us her family. The one she never had the privilege to call her own.”
Price lets out a quiet hum, and pats his thighs, standing up and pushing his chair in.
“Think on what I’ve said, son. And if nothing else, apologize and leave it at that. Put the ball in her court and let her make the next move.”
As he walks off, he hears, “And if she doesn’t want it?”
He tosses a knowing look over his shoulder. “I’m sure she’ll take it.” His eyes twinkle as he adds, “Takes an awful strong woman to care about a man like you.”
4K notes · View notes
olivianyx · 28 days
Text
GET YOUR DREAM LIFE: A CHALLENGE
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
Welcome to this challenge, babygirls and babyboys 🗣️🗣️🗣️
So are you ready to manifest everything you desired in April? Then start up rn!
I'll show you 5 important, simple steps you can use to manifest your dream life!
This challenge will be done for 30 days throughout April. At the end of this month, the results are guaranteed!
You might be wondering if its gonna be hard... Buuuut! The steps are super duper simple, just follow them!
THE STEPS:
🤍 MENTAL DIET 🤍
Y'all heard it right, maintain a strict mental diet, like literally stop wavering! Stop focusing on things you don't want! Don't accept things you don't want! It's that simple. Only focus on positive and favourable thoughts.
Your mornings should go like, 'uhh it's such a beautiful day. It's gonna be amazing day as always. But it's gonna be fun today! I literally love this life, it's freaking amazing, I literally don't know how to thank myself for this. The fact that I'm the ultimate creator is soo mind blowing for me even though I've always been for my entire life. I'm literally thankful for everything! My life's being too perfect and I get what I want everytime, everything's in my favour always. I literally look soo amazing in every outfit I wear, it's such a slay everyday. Uhh I'm soo lucky to have what I want. Literally my self concept is supreme' and blah blah blah. You can add whatever you want further lol.
So like literally throughout the day steady yourself in this mindset. If you catch yourself wavering, be like *sike there ain't no chance bitch* come back on track! Catch yourself waver ---> stop ---> drop ---> flip it into something positive or favourable.
Literally robotic affirming is the only way you can keep your thoughts in check. So go bestie! Keep your head high, keep a check on those thoughts inside your pretty/handsome head 😩 keep slaying everyday ✨
Tumblr media
🤍 ROBOTIC AFFIRMING 🤍
Keep affirming babygirls and babyboys! Like literally don't even stop (unless you're doing smth important, then stop affirming for a while lol) y'all got your dream lives already 💅 so why y'all telling yourself that you don't?? Well y'all do have it, so tell yourself the ULTIMATE FACT that you have your dream lives already 🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️ tell yourself whenever you're free, like even doing your daily chores such as taking a shit or shower, or brushing your teeth, eating, scrolling through the phone, or walking, waiting in a queue (I'd never wait in a queue... Cus I don't go to places with long ass annoying queues 😭) or listening to music or watching TV, doing the dishes or doing self care (I love my babygirls and babyboys taking care of themselves like there's no tomorrow 😩✋🏻I'mma give y'all a nice smooch 😚) just do it my babies! It's the ultimate way to get (which you already have it) your dream lives! So get tf up babies! 🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️
Tumblr media
🤍 LIVING IN THE END 🤍
This step should be missed at all babies! So focus on the end! Focus on having it! Focus on thinking from the end! Like you already are living yor dream lives, you have that car you wanted cus you already drive it everyday! You have that sp that loves you till death, that spoils you with their love, money, and what not?! You have that house you've been dreaming of! No, I mean living! You're living in that house already! It's yours my love! You got that perfect sculptured summer body ody that the normal human beings are jealous?? Like you have that body effortlessly 😩✋🏻 FOCUS ON HAVING IT BITCHES 🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️
Tumblr media
🤍 USING SLEEP TO YOUR ADVANTAGE! 🤍
Listen here, my babygirls and babyboys! You sleep 7 to 8 hours a day, and sleep, according to medicals, is a state of complete rest. That means you're not aware of your surroundings. You're just being a black, quiet, space like floaty state (the void actually) so things are easier to manifest Instantly in this state! So why not do psych k or sats or the lullaby method before bed and after you wake up my loves?? It's so much more effective that what you do in the day time! Trust me! Go prepare yourself well for the bed babies 🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️
Tumblr media
🤍 PERSISTENCE 🤍
Since you already affirming that you have your dream lives, you have it already! But you can begin to doubt that why is it not in the 3d... BITCH DON'T EVEN THINK LIKE THAT. Be like 'bitch wtf my life literally feels like a dream come true moment everyday 😭😭 like I'm literally living the life I wanted, I already am experiencing it wtf are you talking about' like literally GASLIGHT YOURSELF INTO THINKING LIKE THAT (cus you already have your dream life) like literally decide that you already have! Hold onto the new story no matter what! 🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️
So ig I've told you what you needed to do... So all you gotta do is follow the fucking steps babies 🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️
Okay, take care, love y'all babies! Byeee
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
- olivia 🤍
1K notes · View notes
queenofcoquette · 2 months
Text
healthy habits i love :)
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
introduction:
hi loves! i wanted to share some healthy habits that i really enjoy for my body and my mind. these are things that make me feel better and work with my life :)
physical health:
staying active. i have practice for 2 hours on weekdays and like to do home workouts using small dumbells or just pilates on weekends.
stretching. stretching is so important to prevent injuries, improve mobility and balance.
eating 3 meals a day w/ fruits and vegtables.
taking vitamins. i have anemia so i've been taking iron tablets everyday w breakfast to help.
drinking enough water. i always track how much water i have- i usually drink a whole water bottle at school, 70ish% of one at practice, and more water at home.
having a skincare routine.
having a haircare routine & learning to style my hair.
at-home face massage. theyre just really relaxing
mentality/mental:
planning for the future. i like to think about what i'm doing after graduating high school (college) and how i'm going to get into my dream college. i make a plan to follow.
avoiding drama. honestly there's not much drama at my school to begin with, but either way i just avoid talking shit about people
reading! i read every night and when i finish my schoolwork and have nothing to do. it's relaxing
learning about current world events. i also like to stay up to date on what's going on in the world. it can be really sad but i think it’s important to be aware of what happens.
praying. i pray every night and i find it really peaceful and a way to be grateful by thanking God for all sorts of things in my life. sometimes i'll also just pray if i'm anxious, before a water polo game, or really whenever i feel like i should.
gratitude & reflection. i like to reflect on how i'm acting and also remind myself of everything to be grateful for. sometimes really small moments, like when i was getting my braces tightened i thought about how i'm lucky to even get to have dental work done.
journalling. i have a diary i write in every night which is just for fun, and then a spare binder w some lose paper where i vent when i'm feeling bad.
having hobbies. i like to keep myself busy so i have a lot of things i like to do at home like writing, reading, photography, sewing.
having a clean space. i keep my room clean (nothing on the floor, everything where it needs to be) and cleaning my backpack just so everything is easy to find and get.
beginning:
the key to growing is literally just doing small things everyday. overnight change is never attainable. if you want to add different habits/change something you need to make small, attainable, adjustments everyday.
do the best with what you have. this is the biggest point. there are certain things you might not be able to do because of your circumstances, so just do the best with what you have right now.
self respect. and of course, healthy self improvement is based in loving yourself and wanting to be better for the sake of improving your life. this is a whole journey within itself.
2K notes · View notes
flawless-peach · 2 months
Text
activities to improve your life
(in no way do you have to do these or all of them in order to improve, these ade just little things to do to help you feel good about yourself <3)
- go on walks outside, or just get outside in someway. in the summers my boyfriend and I would walk a couple blocks to get a snowcone. now that's its spring I walk to the gas station near by to pick up energy drink for my boyfriend (spring semester)
- wake up earlier, now this one is important to me because I am a huge morning person and so is everyone in my family. but some people aren't naturally morning people. so dont feel like im saying wake up at 5am. I more mean wake up with enough time to enjoy your morning and look forward to the day, you don't want to rush to get ready
- drink an appropriate amount of water, I personally aim for about 60oz now, which I don't hot everyday, but when I first started trying to drink more water I started out with 20oz because I just wasn't drinking water. so don't push yourself because you'll only hate the water rather than appreciate what it can do for you
- journal every day. I normally don't journal about my day until the next morning as I reflect on the previous day, because I don't want the day to "end" before it's actually over. but I try to write reviews about episodes of the shows i like or take notes over my audiobooks and try to think about why I like/dislike them. I find that this helps me so that whenever I start getting emotionally overwhelmed to slow down and put into words what's wrong rather than just being overwhelmed
- working out to feel good rather than look good. I've had a terrible relationship with my body most of my life and so by working out to feel good i have different goals and schedules i followed than when I was trying to lose weight, and it's helping like my body even if it's not changing how it looks. I try to exercise at least 3 days a week, but if I don't feel good enough to i don't force myself (the walks outside are exercise too, so thats also helping me feel good even if I eat a snowcone immediately afterwards ^^)
- positive affirmations. I really struggle with this one, but I have a widget on my phone that rotates through different ones and im liking the ones that are good and at the end of the week in my journal I wrote them all out.
- look for long lasting happiness over short term happiness. this one is a lot harder i just wanted to add it on the end because sometimes I put off doing something I know will make me happy in the end because of short term gratification. I normally feal with this by letting them merge if I can (so like everything shower tiktoks while I get ready for my shower)
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
1K notes · View notes
maysileeewrites · 4 months
Text
Don’t Want You Like A Best Friend
Tumblr media
17+ content; mdni!
Part I | series masterlist | my Coryo masterlist
summary: You and Coriolanus have been best friends ever since you can remember. You've always thought of him as the protective older brother you’ve never had, but lately, your feelings towards him have changed - not quite so pure and innocent anymore ...
chapter tags/warnings: some best friends to lovers angst and emotional confusion, lots of fluff, slightly ooc Coryo (don't worry, the possessive jealousy borderline crazy obsessive behavior will come in later parts!), a lil smutty treat at the end of the chapter
word count: 5,7k (it’s worth it, I promise!!)
Tumblr media
You and Coriolanus have been best friends ever since you can remember. 
You’ve grown up together, experienced everything together, with your family living just across the street from Coroy’s family’s apartment. 
You’ve been there for each other during the dark days of the war, when both his parents and your father died. You’ve attended the academy together for years. 
You’re planning on going to University together as well, though that is still in the future, seeing as it will be a few more months until you’ll both finally graduate the academy. 
Really, Coriolanus is such a constant, important aspect in your life, you can’t imagine life without him. 
He’s always there for you - whether it be to laugh over a silly joke one of you two made or to hug and console you after a bad day or to look out for you and protect you. 
You’re inseparable, really, spending almost every moment together. 
Before, you’ve always thought of him as the protective older brother you’ve never had, but lately, your feelings towards him have changed - they’re not quite so pure and innocent anymore.
Lately, you’ve caught yourself staring at Coriolanus more and more often, gaze lingering on his bright blue eyes, his mischievous smirk, his blond curls or his toned, muscled arms or chest. 
When he hugs you, you can’t help but notice how good it feels to be pressed against his toned chest, feeling his heartbeat against your skin. 
When he reaches out a hand to brush a stray strand of hair from your face, you have to fight the urge to close your eyes and lean into his warm, comforting touch. 
When he reaches out to draw you closer, his hand settling possessively on your waist, the first thought in your head is that this - this feels right. You and Coryo together, as close as possible. 
And you can’t help but want, no, crave, more of it. 
More of Coryo, more of you two together, more of that dizzying, heady feeling you get whenever he touches you that sends your thoughts spiraling and makes your heartbeat go haywire. 
You’ve started to crave his touch more and more, always trying to come up with ways to inconspicuously touch him - letting your hand brush against his, laying a hand on his arm to steady yourself or reaching out a hand to brush a stray curl from his forehead. 
You feel yourself starting to get addicted to him more and more - and you have no idea how to stop it. 
Though, if you’re honest with yourself- you don’t want to stop it. 
You want to get lost in this snow storm of feelings. 
Tumblr media
“Let’s go through this one more time”, Coryo says from his place at your desk, prompting a sigh from you. 
“Coryo”, you say, whining, “we’ve been going through this this whole afternoon. I think you’ve got it. Besides, the test is not until next Monday, you’ve got the whole weekend to continue studying - not that you need it.” 
“You know that I can’t afford to get anything other than an A on this test, right?”, Coryo replies, sighing. 
“And you know that you’ll get an A, even without studying, Coryo”, you reply, finally sitting up from your sprawled-out position on your bed. 
You can see Coryo shaking his head, about to say something else, so you hastily add: “Please, Coryo. I know how much you worry about your grades - I get it, I really do. But, you’ve slowly been driving me insane this afternoon, I can’t go through this stuff yet again, at least not right now.” 
When Coryo doesn’t reply immediately, you nervously bite down on your lower lip. You didn’t want to sound so mean, but the truth is that he has been driving you crazy this afternoon. You’ve already gone through all your notes of ancient history three times and you really don’t want to go all through 18 pages - front and back, in Coryo’s small, neat handwriting no less - of notes yet again. 
Coryo sighs frustratedly. 
You look up, only to find his intense gaze fixed on you, his blue eyes boring into yours. “I’m sorry, you’re right”, he says, sighing again and running a hand through his blond curls. “Maybe I just need to take a break-“ 
“That sounds wonderful”, you say, cutting him off before he has the chance to add a but to his suggestion. 
You get up from your bed, walking over to your desk and grab both of Coryo’s hands, trying to get him to get up, but Coryo doesn’t cooperate, becoming a dead weight to you. 
“Coryo, come on”, you plead, huffing a sigh of frustration, when he still makes no move to get up. 
You take another step closer to him, putting even more strength into the motion of your arms - just when Coryo smirks up at you, before tugging hard on your hands, causing you to stumble forward; right into his lap. 
“Asshole!”, you exclaim, pushing against his chest with your hands, but Coryo doesn’t budge. 
He just looks up at you with a triumphant smirk, a daring expression in his blue eyes. Daring you to do what exactly, you’re not quite sure. You just know that you’re trapped in his gaze, unable to do anything but look at him and get lost in his blue, blue eyes. 
And - this isn’t the first time that something like this has happened lately. In fact, lately you’ve found Coryo’s eyes lingering on you more and more often, his intense gaze seemingly burning you. 
And it should frighten you, how much you’ve come to crave the feeling of his eyes on you. And it does, but there’s something else there as well - a yearning for his attention that hasn’t been there before. 
The soft sound of Coryo chuckling at your scowling expression draws you out of your thoughts. 
“Need some help?”, he asks you, smirking. 
You huff a sigh of frustration, trying to push against his chest again - at the same time that Coryo tugs on your arms again, causing you to shift even more forward in his lap, until you’re pressed flush against his strong, muscular chest. 
Flustered, you feel your cheeks warming, your heartbeat quickening. Coryo is so, so close to you, you can feel his breath on your skin, his heartbeat under your hands. 
And - well, you’re sitting right in his lap, and once you’ve worked through your initial confusion at his sudden closeness, you can feel something else as well. Something hard pressed against your stomach- 
Coryo clears his throat then, gently pushing you away. You stumble, disoriented from the sudden motion, but then Coryo’s hand is there on your waist, steadying you. 
He leans in even closer towards you, tucking a stray strand of hair behind your ear. He smiles softly, as if nothing has just happened. “You were saying something about taking a break?” 
You swallow, trying to calm your still erratic heartbeat and forcing a smile onto your face. “Sure. How about a snack and some hot chocolate?” 
Tumblr media
“Finally satisfied with all the torture you’ve put me through today?”, you say, yawning, when you see Coriolanus finally closing his folder - you feel like you’ve been studying for ages and you never want to see his ancient history notes ever again. 
He laughs softly, the sound reverberating against your back. You don’t quite know how you’ve ended up in this position - both of you on your bed, Coryo sitting behind you, you sitting between his legs, your head leaning against his chest. 
It shouldn’t feel so good, being this close to him, especially after that incident earlier this afternoon- that still has your mind reeling and your cheeks heating up whenever you think about it -, but it does. 
In fact, now that you’ve got a taste of it, you don’t ever want it to stop. 
You bite down hard on your lip, trying - and failing - to stop this dangerous line of thinking. Because allowing yourself to let your thoughts spiral like this, allowing yourself to feel this nervous, heated energy that’s coursing through your veins, instead of suppressing it, like you’ve done until now - is dangerous. 
It will only lead you down a road of heartbreak. Yet you can’t seem to find it in you to hit the brakes and stop. 
„Torture?“, Coryo now says, drawing you out of your thoughts. „You seem to be in an awfully good mood for suffering through a whole afternoon of torture.“
You can’t help but smile at his words, though you’re glad that Coryo isn’t able to see it - he’d just call you out and tease you for smiling like an idiot to yourself. 
„Yes, well, going through eighteen pages of notes - front and back - four times is torture-“, your words are cut off by a surprised, startled yelp, when suddenly, Coryo starts tickling you. 
„No - Coryo, please!“, you manage to get out, but he’s unrelenting, only tickling you harder despite your protests. 
Both his hands are wrapped around your waist and your back is pressed flush against his broad chest. And even though you’re still giggling, trying to fight him off, you can also feel that nervous, heady feeling that sends your thoughts and heartbeat haywire again. 
You give up trying to fight him off, then, which Coryo immediately notices. He laughs softly, before finally ending his tickling attack and resting his head on the crook of your neck. „Enough torture for today?“, he asks and you can hear the smirk in his voice. 
You try to turn around to face him then, but both his hands are still on your waist, trapping you in place. „You’re a jerk, you know that, right?“, you say, though your voice doesn’t sound quite as steady and dry as you’d intended it to. 
Coriolanus just laughs, the sensation of his warm breath ghosting over your skin causing you to shiver involuntarily. „You’ve never complained before.“ 
You huff, rolling your eyes. „Well, you’ve never bothered to acknowledge it.“ 
„Mhm, that’s probably for the best …“ 
You roll your eyes again - his answer is just so typically Coryo. 
„What, no witty retort?“, Coriolanus asks, but you only shake your head, yawning.
„We both know that you can be quite the jerk, ’s nothing new … besides, it’s late …“, you mumble, trying to suppress another yawn and leaning back against his chest again. It is late - already way past eleven, the street outside your window already dark, safe for the streetlights. 
You close your eyes, wishing that you could just stay like this, wrapped in Coryo’s comforting embrace, if only for a short moment longer.
„You’re right, it’s late“, Coriolanus now says. „I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have held you up so long, I should get going …“ 
„Or you could stay.“ 
The words are out of your mouth before you’ve thought them through and you can feel yourself flushing again. Now, you’re really glad that you’re still facing away from Coriolanus - you feel like you’d die from embarrassment if he could see your face going beet-red. 
„I could …“, he says, his voice uncertain. 
„Yes … you, uh, could …“, you say, feeling your cheeks heat up. You’re glad that Coriolanus isn’t able to see it - really, you’re just glad that he hasn’t noticed how weird you’ve been acting around him lately, your heartbeat picking up, your cheeks flushing, your hands getting sweaty when being around him; sometimes just from a single touch or a lingering look from Coryo. 
It’s not like you’ve never done this before, like this has never happened before. This wouldn’t be the first time that Coriolanus sleeps over at your place. In fact, he used to do so a lot when you were younger, right after his parents died and he was plagued with nightmares. It stopped happening as often when you both got older, and now, it hasn’t happened in years. 
And somehow him sleeping over at your place now seems to be something totally different than him sleeping over at your place when you were both little kids. 
You’re not little kids anymore - you’ve changed. You both have. Your friendship has changed, evolved as well. 
Coriolanus is still your best friend, the one person you wouldn’t want to live without; but somehow, he’s not just that. He means something more to you as well, something else, something much less innocent than friendship-
„Yes, I could - I mean, only if that’s alright with you and your mother-“
„Sure“, you interrupt him, your voice sounding incredibly high and nervous. Fuck, you think, running a hand through your hair, and trying to calm your erratic heartbeat. „I mean, it’s no big deal …“ 
Lie. 
It is a big deal, but it’s probably for the best that Coriolanus doesn’t know that the thought of falling asleep right next to him excites you way more than it probably should. 
Coriolanus laughs softly. „Great … Should we get ready for bed then? It’s quite late and you always take ages getting ready for bed-“
„Just admit that you need your beauty sleep“, you interrupt him, teasing him back. You don’t need to turn around to know that he’s rolling his eyes at your remark. 
„Exactly“, he says, dryly, before gently losing his embrace and getting up. 
You follow him to the bathroom, your mind still spiraling. Just minutes earlier, you were complaining about going through Coryo’s ancient history notes four times; now, you’re following your best friend to the bathroom that’s connected to your room, to get ready for bed - with your best friend who’s sleeping over. 
In your bathroom, you hand Coriolanus a spare toothbrush, a comb and a towel, trying to ignore the tingly feeling in your fingertips when your hands brush against his. But then, he draws you closer with one hand, his hand resting on your waist for just a moment too long and you’re blushing again, the thought that you shouldn’t feel so excited and nervous about your best friend sleeping over already forgotten again. 
It takes you quite some time to get ready for bed. Not, as Coriolanus keeps insisting, because of your way too long and time consuming evening routine; but because of him distracting you with his lingering touches and stolen glances - messing your hair up again right after you’ve combed through it; catching your gaze in the mirror over the sink again and again while you’re brushing your teeth; drawing you closer just when you’re about to reach for your night cream. 
It’s way past midnight when you’re finally laying down in bed - right next to Coriolanus, who turns to look at you with a soft smile on his face after you’ve reached for the bedsheets, drawing them over you both. 
He scoots closer to you, before wrapping an arm around your waist, bringing you even closer to him, your back flush against his chest - the gesture so casual and natural, as if it doesn’t make your heartbeat go haywire. 
„Good night“, he whispers, before resting his head on the crook of your neck. 
Your heart skips a beat then. 
„Good- good night, Coryo“, you manage to get out, your voice wobbly. 
You close your eyes, though you already know that actually falling asleep will be almost impossible - how are you supposed to just fall asleep with Coriolanus right there, your back pressed against his chest, his hand on your waist, his head resting on the crook of your neck? 
No - you probably won’t even catch a single second of sleep this night. 
But somehow, that doesn’t sound too bad. (Not when you get to spend the night like this, with your best friend wrapped around you.) 
Tumblr media
The next morning, you’re the first one awake. 
Coriolanus is still soundly asleep, his even breath ghosting over your skin, causing you to shiver. You’re in almost the same position as you were when you fell asleep, with Coriolanus’s hand on your stomach, his head resting on your shoulder. 
You were right, you think, yawning, you didn’t get much sleep. It took you ages to fall asleep, your mind still reeling from Coriolanus’s overwhelming closeness. You must have fallen asleep at some point though, because you distinctly remember waking from Coriolanus tightening his hold on you and muttering some unintelligible. 
You yawn again, carefully turning around to face Coriolanus. 
He’s still asleep. 
You can’t help but let your gaze linger on him, study his face - as if you haven’t already memorized every single one of his features. He looks so calm and peaceful when he sleeps, his expression soft and open. 
Without thinking, you reach up with one hand and brush a stray blond curl from his forehead. The motion seems to wake Coriolanus though, because his eyes flutter open, and then he’s looking at you - his blue gaze still a bit disoriented, but you feel caught up in his gaze nonetheless. 
„Hey“, he says, his voice still a bit sleepy, „sleep well?“ 
You quickly withdraw your hand, forcing a smile onto your face. „Well, could’ve been better if you hadn’t snored so loudly“, you say, trying to sound nonchalant. 
Coriolanus just scoffs. „I do not snore“, he says, indignant. 
No, you think, but you still kept me awake all night long, just by having your hand splayed across my stomach, your head resting on my shoulder. 
Still, you force yourself to shrug. „Easy for you to say.“ 
Coriolanus just scoffs again. But even though he’s annoyed by your comment, shooting you another indignant look, you can’t help but think that you want to spend every single morning just like this. 
You want to wake up right next to Coriolanus every morning - something you shouldn’t even be thinking about, but something that you still desperately crave nonetheless.  
Tumblr media
It becomes a habit, then - Coryo sleeping over at your place.
At first, he only does it after one of your study sessions, once or twice a week. But then, it starts happening more and more often - him sleeping over after a movie night (considering that it took you a lot of convincing to get him to finally agree to a movie night, he seems to be enjoying himself quite a lot, cuddling up to you on your living room couch, resting his head on the crook of your neck, sending your heartbeat haywire) or after an evening of cooking together or after a long evening spent together at the Academy’s library, finishing an assignment for Professor Sickle.
At first, you don’t really think anything of it. 
But then, one Sunday morning you’re going through your clothes (for once, Coryo didn’t sleep over at your place, because he and Tigris promised the Grandm’am an early breakfast before helping her out with her roses) and suddenly,  you realize that there’s a whole stack of Coryo’s clothes in your closet. Dress shirts, plain shirts, pants, even one of his favorite shirts - it’s all here, in your closet. 
Without allowing yourself to think too much about it, you grab a simple long-sleeved grey shirt from the stack with Coryo’s clothes and put it on. (It’s oversized, the sleeves way too long, but you don’t care, the shirt is so soft and comfortable. And besides - it still smells like Coryo, like roses and powder and something else, something that’s entirely him.) 
After throwing on some simple, comfortable pants as well, you walk over to your bathroom - and startle when you see the box with Coryo’s things on one side of the big, marble sink. A toothbrush, a comb, even a small tube of Tigris’s face cream that he secretly uses - you’re the only one who knows and he’d made you swear not to tell a single living soul that fact. 
You smile at the memory, absentmindedly running a hand through your hair and letting your eyes wander through the bathroom. 
But everywhere you look, you see Coriolanus. Everything seems to somehow remind you of him. 
That towel on the sink, which is lying neatly folded right next to the box with Coryo’s stuff. It’s one of your own towels, nothing special in your opinion - you’ve got lot of other towels and really, a towel is just a towel - but Coryo insists that it’s softer than your other towels and feels better on his skin. 
That old butterfly-shaped hairpin of yours, lying abandoned on the windowsill. You only have to look at it to be taken back to Thursday night when you were getting ready for bed, brushing your hair in front of the great mirror over the sink, when suddenly Coryo walked into your bathroom, your old hairpin in hand. 
„That’s the hairpin you got for your tenth birthday, isn’t it?“, he asked, smiling to himself. 
You nodded. „Yes, I thought about giving it away, maybe gifting it to my little cousin, because I don’t really think that it suits me anymore.“ 
Coryo’s smile seemed to freeze at your words. „Really? I still think it looks great, look“, he said, drawing you closer with one hand whilst reaching up with his other hand to place to pin in your hair. 
„See?“, he said, smiling. 
You laughed, shaking your head. „I mean, yes, it’s beautiful, but I’m not ten anymore, Coryo.“ 
You wanted to put the hairpin away, but Coriolanus insisted on you keeping it just a little longer - maybe you’d change your mind about it. 
You reach for that hairpin now, absentmindedly running your fingers over it. Coriolanus is right, the pin is beautiful, even though it looks a bit worn down after years of usage. 
You decide to keep the pin, then. Not because you think that you’ll wear it again, but as another reminder of Coryo. 
It is in this moment that you realize that your feelings towards your best friend have changed - you no longer view him as just your best friend. 
You no longer want him like a best friend. 
You don’t want to be just his best friend anymore - you want so much more than that. You want - no need - his attention, want his lingering eyes on you, want his warm, comforting touch before falling asleep, want to wake up next to him, want to feel his lips on yours. 
You tighten your grip on the hairpin, until you feel it starting to dig uncomfortably in your skin, but the pain still can’t distract you from your thoughts and the heavy, crushing feeling in your chest. 
Because no matter how much you might want to be more than Coryo’s best friend - to him, you’ll never be anything else. He’ll never see you as anything other than his best friend. 
Tumblr media
It somehow becomes both easier and harder to be around Coryo after your realization. 
Easier, because it means that you still get to be around him, get to talk with him, fall asleep with him at your side, ly next to on your bed while he’s motivating you to study. 
Harder, because it means that you still get to be around him - all the time. Looking at him, laughing with him, touching him; fantasizing about him in ways that you definitely shouldn’t think about your best friend. 
His presence is almost like a drug to you; addicting and intoxicating, leaving you craving more of it, even though you know that it’s not good for you - in the end it’ll be your heart that’ll be broken. 
„Something on your mind?“, Coryo’s soft voice draws you out of your thoughts, his hand absentmindedly drawing circles on your back. 
It’s already late evening and you’re lying together in your bed - you wearing one of his shirts, which he noticed with a satisfied smirk earlier, over your nightdress. 
You shake your head, thankful that Coriolanus can’t see your face, seeing as he’s spooning you from behind. „Not really, no … just all these papers we’ll have to hand in during the next two weeks …“ 
„Well, if it’s nothing else …“, Coriolanus says, laughing softly, his warm breath tickling against your skin, but something tells you that he doesn’t quite believe your words. 
„Nope“, you say, trying to sound nonchalant, before freeing yourself from Coriolanus’s grip, taking off his shirt, so that you’re left in only your lacy, red nightdress. 
The distraction works - Coriolanus’s swallows, the expression in his eyes darkening. „Won’t you - uhm, freeze? If you’re only sleeping in that, I mean, it doesn’t look very warm …“, he stutters - actually stutters. 
„Freeze?“, you ask, grinning, „with you right next to me?“ 
Coriolanus just scoffs, rolling his eyes. It’s a discussion you’ve had quite often these last few weeks - with you convinced that his body temperature is too high, and him convinced that yours is running too low. 
Though maybe Coryo does have a point and you always feeling so hot when you’re being embraced by him has more to do with your heartbeat quickening and your palms turning sweaty from being so near to him and less with his body temperature. 
Suddenly, Coriolanus sits up, leaning in towards you, before closing both his arms around you, caging you in his embrace. Both of his hands are splayed possessively over your stomach, though one feels dangerously close to your chest. 
Though - maybe that is just your imagination running wild with you again.  
„Warm enough for you?“, Coriolanus asks, resting his head on the crook of your neck, his warm breath tickling your skin. 
You laugh, trying not to squirm - you’re insanely ticklish, something Coriolanus very much know. „Yes, Coryo, more than enough …“ 
„Hm …“, he laughs softly. „Can’t have you freezing now, can I?“, he adds, reaching for your blanket and draping it around you both. 
„Hm ...“, you hum, closing your eyes and leaning your head back against his chest. You feel so warm and content, being so close to Coryo. It’s so easy to get lost in your imagination like that, to pretend that you can actually have this with him, to pretend that this is not just your best friend messing around with you - to pretend that he feels the same way you do. 
You stay like that for a moment - Coryo holding you in his arms, bodies pressed flush together. 
Then, after a while - you can’t tell whether it’s been only a few minutes or a few hours; time always seems to either stop or pass you by in a blur whenever you’re with Coriolanus - he clears his throat, breaking his embrace. 
„It’s late, we should probably try to get some sleep …“, he says, trying to suppress a yawn. 
You nod, forcing a smile onto your face. „Sure … can’t have your mind in a foggy, exhausted state when you want to make a good impression in Sickle’s class tomorrow morning …“ 
Coriolanus scoffs, laying down on your bed. 
The moment you’ve lain down as well, he scoots closer to you, enclosing you in his arms. Something he does every night when he sleeps over, though your heart still skips a beat at the action. 
This is dangerous, you think. You can’t keep thinking about your best friend like that, can’t keep falling and falling for him- 
„Good night“, Coriolanus says - and then he does something he’s never done before: he leans in closer towards you, pressing a gentle, soft kiss to your hairline. 
Your heartbeat quickens and you can only hope that Coryo won’t be able to pick up on it. 
„Good - good night, Coryo“, you say, your voice shaky, barely being able to get the words out. 
Coriolanus laughs, before resting his head on the crook of your neck again. 
You swallow, trying not to shiver. 
This night, it takes you a long time to fall asleep. 
Tumblr media
When you wake up, Coriolanus has wrapped himself around you, caging you in between his arms, one of his hands splayed possessively across your stomach, his other hand dangerously close to the hem of your admittedly quite short night dress. (You may have decided on deliberately wearing this particular lacy red night dress, seeing as it has made Coriolanus look at you with a dark expression in his eyes when he’d seen you wearing it once before.)
His strong, muscled chest is pressed flush against your back - though that’s not the only thing pressed against your back. 
You feel your cheeks heat up when you realize what this means. This has only happened two times before, and both times Coriolanus was quick to embarresedly scoot away from you when he woke up, realizing that his erection had been pressed against your back. 
Now, though, Coriolanus seems to be asleep and in no hurry to move away from you. In fact, he suddenly makes a low muffled noise, his grip on you tightening, his hand at the hem of your night dress moving up even higher until you can feel his fingertips brush over the soft skin of your inner thighs. 
You can’t help the surprised noise that escapes you then - even though all of this should feel so wrong; it doesn’t. 
It doesn’t feel wrong at all. In fact, you want - no, crave even more of this, of you and Coryo pressed so closely together that not even a single leaf could fit between you, Coriolanus’s hands on you, his face pressed into the crook of your neck. 
You’re pulled out of your thoughts when Coriolanus suddenly says your name, his lips brushing against your skin, causing you to shiver. 
„Cory?“, you ask, trying to turn around, but his grip on you is too tight, keeping you in place. 
Then - your name falling from his lips again, followed by a loud, coarse moan. 
„Yes, right there - fuck, so good, so good“, Coriolanus moans, one hand suddenly finding its way under the skirt of your night dress, his fingers moving up higher and higher on your thighs, coming dangerously close to the hem of your panties-
„Fuck!“ Another loud moan, followed by Coriolanus’s hips moving against yours, his erection pressing against you. 
Oh, you think, cheeks impossibly warm, biting down hard on your lip to keep yourself from making any sound. 
Besides your imagination running wild these last few weeks, one dirty fantasy of you and your best friend chasing the other, this has never happened to you. You thought that it never would happen to you - at least not with Coryo. 
Though he’s only caught up in a dream of his own, you try to remind yourself, when his hips move against yours again. 
It’s only a dream. But why is it your name that he’s moaning then, not any other? But maybe it’s just a coincide-
Every single thought is wiped from your head, when Coriolanus’s fingers brush over your panties, teasing your clit though the thin fabric. 
You can’t help the moan that escapes you then - not when this feels so good, Coriolanus’s fingers teasing over your clit, his hips moving against yours, his lips pressed to the skin of your neck, his other hand still splayed across your stomach. 
Coriolanus moans your name again then, his fingers cupping your cunt through the thin fabric of your panties, and you find yourself moving your hips against his, driven by pure instinct. 
The low, coarse groan that escapes Coriolanus then has you wanting to squeeze your thighs together, but his fingers are still there, still teasing over your clit. 
Suddenly, his fingers start to move, drawing teasing circles over your clit, and it’s all too much for you. Overwhelmed by all the different emotions coursing through you, you tear yourself away from his grip, getting up on shaky feet and walking over to the bathroom that’s connected to your bedroom. 
Your head is still spinning when you find yourself leaning against the cold, marble walls of the bathroom, your core still aching, yearning for Coriolanus’s touch. 
You shiver, even though you feel too hot, your skin feeling like it’s been set on fire. Coriolanus touched you. Your best friend’s fingers were almost inside you and- 
Fuck. 
Fuck, you’ll never able to look your best friend in the eyes again, even though all you want is to be as close to him as you were moments ago. 
Acting on pure instinct, you shimmy out of your nightdress, letting it fall to the floor, before stepping inside the shower. Maybe a good, cold shower, will help, you think, turning on the shower. 
You step back, letting the cold water hit your body. But even though the cold water feels like needles prickling against your skin, you still feel as if your entire body was set on fire, your core still aching and empty. 
Almost on their own accord, your fingers find their way to your clit. You bite down hard on your lip, trying to blink back the tears in your eyes that are suddenly threatening to spill. 
Still, you can’t help the low moan that escapes you when your fingers find their way between your folds. 
You close your eyes, letting your head fall back - letting pure instinct take over, as you fuck yourself on your fingers, wishing that it were Coryo’s fingers filling you up instead. 
When you come, it’s with a desperate, breathless cry and images of Coriolanus pressed against you playing over and over again in your mind.
Tumblr media
What you don’t know, though, is that Coriolanus has been awake all this time - every single touch was a deliberate, strategic move on his part and you’d reacted even better than he could have imagined. He followed you to the bathroom when you got up from bed, and now he’s watching you come undone from his position behind the door that you forgot to properly lock in your haste.
He feels like he’s going crazy, crawling out of his skin as he watches you screw your eyes shut, throwing your head back. Your breathless whimpers and moans are all that he can hear, echoing through his mind. 
Wracked with shame, guilt and desire coursing through him, he shoves one hand into his pants, his eyes still fixated on you. 
It only takes a few strokes over his already achingly hard length until he comes undone as well. 
And when he unravels, it is with your breathless moans echoing through his mind, his eyes on you, and your name like a bittersweet, deadly poison that he just can’t get enough of on his lips. 
Tumblr media
sooo ...? please, please lmk what you think, I'm so excited to hear your thoughts!
taglist:
@asapkyndall @slitsphilia @ravenclawprincess33 @mckennah123 @serving-targaryen-realness @mentallyyy-unstable @mizuki80 @snows-wife @prettyinsatiable @ashcosmo @generally-awqward @snowflxke @nallasstuff @ajs-222 @spiritofbuddha @notyourwildestdream @earthangel-111 @bhdem @toogardenheart @iheartinkonpaper @daisiesformylove @ebsmind @dominqueeekk @cherrybomb8484 @dangelnleif @minmin1328 @scarletttargaryen
tumblr won’t let me tag some of you guys, please check your settings (settings —> general —> mentions —> anyone) whether anyone can tag you in posts! :)
comment if you want to be added to the taglist!
1K notes · View notes
etherealkissed88 · 4 months
Text
the state of the wish fulfilled + neville’s words
what is fulfillment?
fulfillment is the feeling (not emotional feelings but the feeling of knowing) that something is certainly true. “assume the feeling of the wish fulfilled” means assume that what you want already is. its done, its fulfilled, you have it already. that is the feeling of fulfillment. i can be fulfilled with the idea that i have my desire already because i accept it/assume it as a fact. i can also be fulfilled with the idea that i dont have it yet and manifesting is hard bc i accept is as a fact. you are always fulfilled in something. the focus should be on how natural it feels to already know you have that desire aka focus on the feeling/knowing!
the state of the wish fulfilled is the state (identity/mindset) of already having your desire in imagination. being in this state means that you know you have your desire in imagination (not in the 3d). this also means no longer feeling the need to desire that thing because you are so sure that its already yours
what does being fulfilled ‘in imagination only’ mean?
you should know you should focus on having your desire in imagination only because you can experience anything instantly in imagination. imagine a pink elephant. you could have visualized it or imagined the words ‘pink elephant’. boom you experienced it instantly. now find a pink elephant in the 3d now. you see how you will only be searching for things that are clearly not there. this is why the 3d and your 5 senses never matter because they are limited. you cant truly accept/be fulfilled with “i have $100,000” in the 3d when you clearly dont have it. this is delusion and it will only cause stress and desperation. this is not fulfilling yourself which is why its hard to be fulfilled when you identify with the 3d and try to change the 3d. since imagination literally molds the always changing 3d, the only goal should be changing imagination and by law the 3d will reflect that. if you identify with the inner self (imagination) and claim you have $100,000, you can instantly experience being the one who has that money. then you can fulfill yourself. so focus on fulfilling yourself in imagination, not in the 3d (to add: the 3d is always dead and neutral, therefore only an illusion).
how to get into the wish fulfilled
1. imagine what you want as the person who already has it by using any technique or simply deciding; embodying your desired self
2. imagine to enjoy yourself, this means not getting attached with seeing change in the 3d because you are already enjoying yourself in imagination
3. repeatedly give yourself that feeling of enjoyment until you are completely satisfied in imagination and know its 100% done and feel no lack; you can feel fulfilled with doing a technique once or after doing it for 5 min etc. doesnt matter because the goal is chasing the feeling, the knowing that what you want as already been fulfilled
4. after feeling fulfilled, you operate in the neutral 3d as the person who knows its done aka you continue operating and going thro life while being the fulfilled state bc you just experienced it. you dont desire what you want anymore because you know its already yours
tips for the state of wish fulfilled
- if you fall out the state, gently go back in (via any technique or simple decision) whenever you feel ready
- any state is always available to you so you can choose to get into the state any time and states that you arent occupying have no power because you are always what gives everything power and meaning
- @/piercedblunt likes using affirmations like “i am / i have (desire) in imagination” to remind herself that her only job is having it/being fulfilled in imagination; there is no effort to find find fulfillment in the 3d when its clearly not there and when having it in imagination will change the 3d either way
- in the state of wish fulfilled, you will feel so good and relieved because you rly feel like you have your desire (which you do because imagination is the only reality). if you feel anxiety when you think about your desire, if you find yourself entertaining or agreeing with negative thoughts, if you feel lack: those are signs that you arent in the state of wish fulfilled. remember: that state means you feel satisfied because youre sure its done! if you feel lack then you are not fulfilled. no worries, get back into the state when you feel ready and calm, dont force emotions away bc you are human so let them out. also, you can simply decide you are still in the state. ppl (like me) literally manifest with doubts and negative thoughts by feeling fulfilled once or a few times so dont stress about getting out the state. go back in and relax. its done.
- checking to see “if it manifested” is not being in the state of wish fulfilled since you already experienced having it! that would be you going back to a state of lack. it doesnt make sense to search for something i already gave myself. dont forget that everything is already within you
- remember: your goal is feeling the satisfaction/knowing regarding your desire, do not be obsessed over whether or not you are in the state. if i was naturally in the state of being rich, would i worry about whether or not im in the state or would i just know im rich and operate as that rich version of me (in imagination)?
why is it good to become fulfilled?
when you are fulfilled, you are satisfied with having what you want and when youre satisfied, you accept that you have it already aka you assume it true about yourself. fulfillment feels so good and in my (and other ppl’s) experience when we become fulfilled we dont care about the other useless things that might have given us anxiety before like time, negative thoughts, etc. this is because when we focus and identify with this fulfilled version of ourselves, the other anxious and desperate versions of us die off
inner fulfillment validates inner self and forces you to detach from the 3d easily. once fulfilled, you naturally practice indifference and you finally realize that all the power was always within yourself. and ofc when you persist in this new fulfilled assumption and are indifferent to the 3d, the 3d changes! its like a cherry on top!
explained by neville goddard:
“The way to use your imagination creatively is this. Relax in a chair or on a bed and close your eyes. First determine what it is you wish to experience. Then, in this state of complete relaxation, bring to mind the end result of what it is you desire. In other words, if you were seeking a promotion at work, the end result might be that people would congratulate you on your promotion. You might move to a larger office. You would enjoy an increase in pay. Take any one of these events and, with your eyes closed, actually hear your friends congratulate you on your promotion. Feel their hand in yours as they tell you how happy they are for you. By actually feeling that you are being congratulated, your imagination will go to work to bring about that state in your outer world. You need not be concerned about how this will be accomplished. Your imagination will use whatever natural means are necessary to bring it about. “I am the beginning and the end.” “My ways are past finding out.” What you do in imagination is an instantaneous creative act. However, in this three-dimensional world, events appear in a time sequence. Therefore, it may take a short interval of time to realize in the outer world what you have just experienced in imagination. After you have performed this act in your imagination, open your eyes and go about your normal, natural affairs, confident that what you have done must come to fruition in your world. Make your inner conversations conform to your imaginal act. You have planted a seed and you will soon see the harvest of that which you have sowed.
When you go into your imagination, make sure that you are actually performing the action, hearing the words, touching the object, or smelling the aroma in your self-conceived drama. What you do in your imagination is not merely a daydreaming which you see events in your mind’s eye. You must enter the dream as if you were actually there. You must make “then” now and make “there” here. To make this perfectly clear, imagine that you would experience driving a new car after you have achieved your goal. In that case, you would not merely see a new car in your mind’s eye. You must actually enter the dream. Feel yourself seated behind the steering wheel. Smell the newness of the interior. Feel yourself enjoying a comfortable ride. Feel the happiness that would be yours after accomplishing your dream.”
neville’s wish fulfilled quotes:
“Mansion is the state desired... telling of an event before it occurs physically is simply feeling yourself into the state desired until it has the tone of reality. You go and prepare a place for yourself by imagining yourself into the feeling of your wish fulfilled. Then, you speed from this state of the wish fulfilled — where you have not been physically - back to where you were physically a moment ago. Then, with an irresistible forward movement, you move forward across a series of events to the physical realization of your wish, that where you have been in imagination, there you will be in the flesh also.”
“Hold fast, in your imagination, to all that is lovely and of good report, for the lovely and the good are essential in your life if it is to be worthwhile. Assume it. You do this by imagining that you already are what you want to be — and already have what you want to have.”
kisses, jani ☆
2K notes · View notes
hor3nee · 1 month
Text
• Fatherhood •
Tumblr media
What kind of dads are the JJK men ?
Tumblr media
CW/TW: GN! Reader, Mentions of crappy parenting, BREIF mention of pregnancy in Geto's, (Lmk if I should add anything else!)
Characters: Gojo, Geto, Nanami, Sukuna, Toji x Reader
AN: Almost cried writing this the baby fever is going HARD rn dude. Headcanons !
Tumblr media
• Gojo •
Menace of a father, but in the good way! Gojo spends his years raising his kids as if he's their best friend, truly and genuinely treats his kids as equals and in a sweet way, allows his children to have complete trust in him. Because Gojo is quite childish himself, he loves playing with his kids, making a fool of himself, and indulging with them.
Has a bit of a bad side to this though, his lack of traditional discipline or making himself the 'adult' in the situation leads the kids to both be very spoiled and not really ever listen to him.
"Sweetheart, darling, my perfect angel, can you please go to bed?? pretty please! Help your old man here, please??"
"Nuh uh!" And with that bout of defiance, he's back to running up to you, like HE'S the child, begging for your help. Because it seems you're the only one who can get the kids in line, and you do.
Plays pranks and teases the hell out of his kids as they get older, always in a loving way of course, but nonetheless loves getting them flustered over his stupidity. Type of dad to do dumbass dances in the middle of a Walmart to embarrass his kids.
• Geto •
Geto is optimum of what it means to be a gentle parent. Cannot, for the life of him, bring it in himself to yell at his kids. He's so soft-spoken, never so much as raising his voice against his children. Geto has children who respond to his voice alone, because it's so lulling, he's familiarized them with it and made them feel safe with it.
Doesn't mean he can't discipline them, of course he can, and he does so extremely gracefully. Whenever you're on your last straw with the kids, fighting the urge to start scolding them and yell, he steps in, smoothly taking over and the kids instantly listen to him.
"We're your parents, honey, c'mon that's not very nice to say, is it? They carried you for 9 months you know. Say sorry." Like magic the kids shut up and come over to you apologizing while Geto stands back, calmly having fixed the situation with ease.
With everything Geto does, has done, experienced etc, he can sometimes feel conflicted. Geto knows what he is capable of, and what he has done, he's extremely self-aware even if he justifies it, and he can struggle to balance the weight of all of it while also remaining a dutiful father.
Despite it, he does wonders keeping it separate from what his children have to see or experience, teaches them respect and kindness and hopes they hold true to it.
• Nanami •
Not a single man on this list fathers as hard as Nanami fathers. He's built for it like no other. Nanami treats fatherhood with his all, he puts his all into it and makes damn certain he does right by it. Stern when necessary, sweet when needed, provides for his kids and refuses to miss any important milestone of theirs.
Nanami is a calm man but the second work starts piling potentially making him miss his kids school play or something he's arguing with his supervisors and ready to throw hands.
He keeps the drawings his kids make on his desk, alongside a photo of you and your kids. Literally just stares at it while working smiling, unable to wait till he's home with the kids. They are his pride and joy genuinely.
No matter how over-worked Nanami may be though, when he comes home you are basically on vacation. Insists you rest and he takes over literally everything involving the kids.
"Darling, darling no, I got this covered. You take rest. You know I love spending time with my kids." He says with an earnest smile, both kids in his beefy arms just dangling around and playing with their father. He's definitely exhausted from work, but that never stops him.
• Sukuna •
The King of the Curses, as cruel and terrifying as he is, taking pleasure in all sorts of sickness and treating love as pointless, legitimately likes his kid.
He doesn't care about fatherhood, or the responsibilities that being a parent entails, but it's nice having a mini version of himself around. That he likes. An extension of himself and you, it's nice to have around he doesn't mind it. He may act aloof about it, not outwardly showing affection like hugs or kisses, but he clearly enjoys it.
He gets a massive ego trip when his kids cause chaos and disturbances. Points at them laughing with his belly "See that? That's mine."
Sukuna never minces his words though, and his kids have to get used to his bluntness. Again, he doesn't care for the concept of 'parenting', and will in their face call the kid some extreme insults and weak and they have to learn to take it.
On the flip side, Sukuna also never minces his praise, and Sukuna has an abundance to give his kids. Every accomplishment or show of strength that they show he'll let them know he's proud. A good ol' fashioned fatherly slap to their shoulder while he praises them.
He treasures his children, and even if he doesn't put much effort into parenting them, you taking over most of it, he's definitely a present figure in their lives.
• Toji •
Went to get milk, hasn't been seen since.
968 notes · View notes