#someone with a deep enough meme folder help me out

[hvlthgxth]

Me within a parsec of the pussy:

[nrth-wind-a]

Hidden, designer au skraelroc but Bellroc is the one to iniate

Kiss Meme // No Longer Accepting // Well... This was supposed to be between 100-500 words but it... is not. I hope you still enjoy nonetheless! // Thank you for this very compelling ask! It was extremely fun to write! --

Coffee. It was only coffee. He could do… coffee. Sitting together, pointedly across from each other, with a cup to place between them was a degree of separation that Skrael could handle.

Sweetening the deal was that it was entirely professional. There was no reason to cross into the territory that they had an unshakeable habit of crossing into, the way they clashed words as fencers did blades.

It was supposed to be easy. A simple discussion of particular business matters, and then they’d be on their separate paths again.

Bellroc slid into the chair across from Skrael, looking, unfortunately, incredible.

He frowned, “I’m fairly certain that I requested you be subtle.”

Bellroc’s grin was positively vicious, “Then you should have taken your own advice.”

Skrael rolled his eyes. “You are in bright red.”

“And a vision, I’m sure.” They smirked. “But we have business to attend to, Skrael. Focus.”

It was only coffee… it was only coffee…

Skrael took a deep breath, bit down on what he’d wanted to say, and did indeed focus up. He reached into his backpack for a manilla folder that felt more like he’d been carrying certain doom on his back, than what its contents really were.

With a gentle push, the thing sat between them, and it felt stark; a fresh morning pot of coffee, the blazing tail of roman candle firework.

“That’s them, then?” Bellroc hummed, staring at the folder.

It was odd how inconspicuous it looked; how utterly unremarkable it was in impression.

“The drafts, at least.” He said, taking a careful sip of coffee, to hide the twitch at his lips that threatened an anticipatory smile.

Merlin be damned, he felt that these designs were good. They were unfinished, but… well. There was a reason he was passing them on to Bellroc, now, wasn’t there?

It happened as Bellroc accepted the folder and began to put it into their own bag.

Skrael caught someone staring.

Now, someone staring wasn’t necessarily an issue in and of itself—even if their faces weren’t recognized, the two of them looked good, and he knew it; he knew people on the street knew it. They weren’t exactly wading through interested strangers, but they certainly could turn a few heads on occasion.

No, it was the notable lack of embarrassment when they were caught. The glint in their eyes that felt like a bird of prey’s. The pen being juggled between two fingers. These were all enough to raise suspicion.

The truly damning piece, however, was the portable recorder attached to their hip.

Skrael’s next movements were carefully calculated.

He slid his eyes casually out the window, acting as if his accidental eye contact with the journalist had hardly fazed him; the last thing they needed was the reporter realizing they’d been smoked out.

Because Skrael was also fairly certain—by the look on the person’s face—that they were still trying to parse out if they really were sitting in the same café as two nationally-recognized designers, or if the pair of them were lookalikes. Which meant that he needed—

“Do not turn around.” He said softly, over his coffee cup. “If you do, we’ll be caught by the press. No offense, but you rather have a… recognizable look.” He said, tapping his finger to his temple to indicate their sunglasses.

They scowled, “As if you don’t, Mrs. Elizabeth Bennet?”

He blinked. …They had an unfairly good point.

After a moment’s deliberation, he sighed, tucked his hands under the table, and slipped off his gloves, immediately feeling underdressed.

Bellroc’s face was woven in surprise. Their eyes lingered a little too long on Skrael’s fingers—long, bony, almost ethereal—before they snapped themselves from their stupor and reached to do the same with their glasses.

Skrael held up a hand—still hating how exposed something so simple as not wearing gloves could make him feel— to stop them. “No. You need those to see, and we need two pairs of eyes on lookout.”

They were taken aback a second time, which gave them no small amount of irritation, that Skrael could do that to them so easily. They mumbled, “How did you know that?”

Skrael’s answer was disarmingly honest, given that he was too distracted to consider lying, “You’ve always hated contacts.” He said casually, eyes trained on the journalist, who was staring at their phone, likely looking for anything that could prove their hunch about the designers to be true.

“We have to hurry.” Skrael continued. “We’re close to being recognized.”

Bellroc looked as if they were considering something, but evidently chose not to share, as they stood sharply, causing Skrael to do the same.

Unfortunately, it seemed that the reporter noticed their active departure, and, while they were trying to be subtle, they did begin to pack up as well.

Skrael grimaced, tucking his hair underneath his coat to obscure its length, “The jig might be up…”

Bellroc paused, then, and the fire in their eyes made Skrael do the same.

“Do you trust me?” They asked suddenly.

Skrael blinked. He glanced to the reporter—still packing up—and then back to Bellroc. “Wh- In what context?”

They huffed, “Skrael, we don’t have time to get into the technicalities; do you trust me?”

Skrael paused for only one moment longer. “…I trust that you have an idea that will get us out of this without ending up on the front-page news.”

It wasn’t the answer they’d expected—a resounding ‘no’ would have been the most predictable—but it was –

“Good enough.” They said, voice low, nearing a growl, as they took his hand—oh…—and dragged him outside.

The reporter was not far behind, and Bellroc knew they had to sell this.

There was one thing that the pair of them were most known for, in junction with the other, according to the public. Their absolute and utter distaste for the other was not obscured, and in fact, encouraged, even; it made staying away from the other easier.

So, if they were to prove that they were supposedly not themselves…

Thank god the alley’s empty, they thought, as they tugged Skrael into it, and, with little warning, pressed him up against the wall of the coffee shop they’d just exited from.

Skrael hated to admit that he caught onto their line of thinking nearly as soon as his back met brick. It was rare when it happened, but even now, that he could—in the important moments—practically read their mind, gave him a painful twinge that came from memory of the past.

Lucky for him, his mind was evacuated as soon as Bellroc’s face was the only thing he could see. They gave him one last chance to say no.

They breathed a quiet, “May I?” and Skrael’s eyes nearly slipped closed from that alone. The tone in their voice, the way they were crowding his space, and the way he didn’t even have it in him to mind—

He didn’t take it.

“Yes…”

Bellrocs’ lips were soft, and the pressure was simultaneously too much and not nearly enough. They’d opted, perhaps thinking themself merciful, for a gentle, sweet thing. Skrael appreciated the gesture, but they needed to properly deter anyone from trying to disturb them. He reached up with both hands, sliding them up the sides of Bellroc’s face to slip their glasses off. He could feel their hesitation, rather than see it, by the way the kiss stuttered.

They started to pull back, but Skrael wrapped his arms around their neck, glasses still in one hand, and he mumbled against their lips, “Not enough. Too easy to interrupt.”

They did manage to lean back enough to shoot him a skeptical look, but he grinned, reached down, placed their glasses in the inside pocket of their coat—one hand still pointedly holding the back of their neck—and said, “Don’t you trust me?”

He was challenging them.

…Hm. Fine.

They didn’t give him time to prepare, then, as they gripped his hips and leaned back in, and oh the cropped shirt had turned out to be a very bad idea, Skrael thought, as he could feel their thumbs almost absentmindedly rubbing the exposing skin there.

He suppressed a shiver and moved to press closer to them, trapping their bottom lip between his own. As much as he was trying not to enjoy this—it was purely professional, he insisted—he couldn’t help but wonder why they’d never done this before. If it was this…

Footsteps approached the alley, paused for half a second.

He turned his head so that the reporter would only be greeted by the back of his—a move to ensure that Bellroc’s lack of sunglasses was visible and that no distinct facial features could be made out—and reached to cling to Bellroc’s coat with both of his hands.

The footfalls sounded almost like running.

Good, Skrael thought. Maybe they’d think twice about following strangers—even famous ones—again.

But, now that the reporter was gone, the fact that Bellroc hadn’t yet pulled away was now—… it felt different.

He regretted it even as he did it, but he sighed against their mouth and ended the kiss.

Their breaths wove together. “I think…” Skrael grinned, “I think they’re gone.”

Bellroc’s eyes held a look that Skrael had never seen before. “Yes…”

A horribly awkward silence settled in the minimal distance between them, calling their attention to just that. Skrael noticed, then, and quickly let go of Bellroc, stepping back— only to be greeted with brick. Right.

Bellroc looked flushed as they, too, stepped away, royally embarrassed. “Ah… Thank you—” they flinched at their words, “For humoring me, I mean. No one would ever…” they trailed off.

“Suspect that we’d be caught kissing in an alleyway?”

Bellroc looked almost sheepish. “…yes.”

Skrael tilted his head, looking them over.

…And, ah, he couldn’t resist. He hiked his backpack onto one shoulder, and began to exit the alley, tossing his words out as he left, “That’s alright. It was fun.”

By the time they unfroze, Skrael was long gone, leaving behind only a tingle on their lips, and a manilla folder in their bag, which promised that they’d be seeing him again.

[cravingmarvel]

Apartment - Epilogue

Pairing: Sebastian Stan x Fem!Reader Warnings: Swearing, a little angst, sarcasm as always Summary:  You just moved from Germany to New York, working as an editor at a newspaper. So what happens when you find out your favourite actor lives in the apartment across from yours? And how will people react when you share your story on your Blog dedicated to him? What will you make of this situation? A/N: Wow here we are... the last of the last... I can’t believe that after 2 YEARS I managed to finish this series completely... I apologize for the time it took, but I just had no idea how to write it and in retrospect.. I’m glad I waited this long. A HUGE thank you to @buckisthatyou​ for helping me with this!!! I love you!!! 

Anyway... I hope you guys love this as much as I loved writing this and I’ll see you at the end of the chapter :)

MASTERLIST

Apartment – Epilogue

I carried the last of my boxes up the stairs, weighted down a little by the contents of it. This one got lost on its way here and I’ve been desperately trying not to cry over it. It’s been almost three months since Sebastian and I moved in together, but this little fucker had to get lost.

As I pushed the door open with my shoulder the light that flooded into the room filled me with butterflies. Just seeing the living room full of life and personality put the biggest smile on my face. I placed the box next to the bookshelf and started to unpack the books inside. I moved some of the cacti out of the way, they are definitely taking over the place.

I felt a hand on my hip and jumped slightly.

“Hey, how’s it coming along?” I turned to see Sebastian.

“Very nicely, but I do think we need to calm down about the cacti.” I pouted and he kissed my cheek.

“Hm, maybe.” I caught the cheeky smile as he walked away.

The move was easy, finding an apartment wasn’t. We came across a beautiful, two-story apartment in the heart of Manhattan that was pretty close to my new workplace. After my move back to New York, we went straight to looking for a place to share. He said he wanted it to be right in the heart of the city, but close enough to central park so our future kids could enjoy some greenery.

I laughed at him, but the thought still filled me with butterflies.  I was excited to share my life with him, even if that came with a price. Some people just didn’t like seeing him with me on his arm and they made a point in showing it. Just a few weeks after I came back, we made an appearance at some award show, the photos I was tagged in on Instagram were mostly nice, but a lot weren’t so. My dress was too tight, my hair done terribly, and I felt worse because I made those choices. It was me to blame.

Despite the weight I felt from those comments, I knew I could step away from it whenever I pleased. I don’t have to put up with it. No one does.

With the shelve decorated to my liking, the apartment was almost finished, there were a few pictures that I wanted to hang on the walls, but that could wait.

 Two Years Later

 “We’re having spaghetti tonight.” Sebastian called from the kitchen; he knew I’d love it. (The spaghetti, not him calling from the kitchen.)

The chill of the night falling over New York put me in the mood to get comfy. I climbed up the stairs to our shared bedroom, crossing the room to the closet. I decided to change into my pyjamas, a decision I did not regret as I felt the soft fabric on my skin. I investigated the mirror to admire my husky onesie. I look cosy as fuck and I feel cosy as fuck.

The table hasn’t been set when I came down to the dining room and Sebastian noticed my confusion. “We’re having dinner outside if you don’t mind.” He filled to plates with food and gave me a quick kiss as he walked towards the balcony. I followed him out to discover the table beautifully set with flowers and fairy lights.

“Oh wow. This is so fancy.” I said while sitting down opposite Sebastian.

“Thank you, I actually put a lot of effort into this. By the way, cute outfit.” I looked down to the fluffiness that I was wearing and in the reflection of the glass next to me, I could see how weird I looked. “Yeah thanks.”

The husky and the Prince.

We soon devoured our food and just sat and laughed while drinking an alarming amount of wine. New York has never looked so pretty; this might just be because Sebastian is the foreground of the scenery in front of me.

Suddenly, Sebastian stood up from his seat. His face lit up with a smile on his face as he slowly went down on one knee. I was just about to register what was happening, my jaw slightly dropping.

“Y/n.” Sebastian held my hand in his, a red velvet box in the other. “I never knew this day would come so soon. I always thought I’d be fifty years old, still looking for the woman who I’m going to marry. And then you came along. Standing at my door with your ridiculous robe.”

I chucked, tears swelling up in my eyes.

“So, will you, Y/n, do me the honour and marry me?”

I stared at him, the tears now rolling down my face. “Yes.” I breathed out.

He slipped the ring on my finger, a diamond reflecting a million rainbows in the light of the sunset, hovering on the horizon of New York. And it dawned on me.

I just got engaged to Sebastian Stan, and I’m wearing a husky onesie.

 -

 Sebastian decided it would be good for me and his sanity to hire a wedding planner, even though I told him I could handle it on my own. I hate having someone else step on my toes and interfere with my plans but listened to him anyway and hired someone who could help me organize the day and everything around it.

While I still had a whole month to prepare the final details, I was sure we covered everything necessary that involved the venue, decorations, dress and every other detail I could think of.

I shuffled my shoes from my feet and walked over to the kitchen making myself a nice cup of coffee. I got a text from Sebastian telling me that he’ll be home by eleven, filming dragged on until then unfortunately, but it gave me some quiet time to get back to going through my planner trying to catch any mistakes I made.

I’ve never really been one to dream of the perfect wedding, but since starting this project of mine, I felt my need for perfectionism take over.

I grabbed the little folder, my laptop and my phone walking to the couch. I snuggled into a blanket, putting my mug on the coffee table. After a few hours of flipping through pages and finding no mistakes at all, which was usually the case, I grabbed my phone, my thumb hovering over the Tumblr icon. I hesitantly tapped it logging into my account.

A thing I occasionally did was search my own name. I know I shouldn’t, but something vile within me couldn’t stay away from the opinions of others, strangers, online. I scrolled through endless amounts of posts about myself, cringing and cry laughing at some of the posts. The memes were the best part about it, some people were just too funny. I came across some fanfiction about me… yes fanfiction… about me, skimming over the words. They weren’t bad… it was just a little strange reading it myself, but who am I to judge? I wrote fanfiction about the same man I am engaged to once a few moons ago. Ok more like a year ago, but my point still stands. I can’t judge.

But all fun had to come to an end when I stumbled upon posts about me that just weren’t so nice to look at. Some poking fun at my body, the way it looked in a certain outfit I wore while I was out with Sebastian, some straight up telling me how old I looked and some saying that I’m just not the right fit for him. I couldn’t say they hurt, but a little part of me, the very insecure one, believed them. But something I haven’t come across yet popped up right after all that was a post about me being a fan.

I was slightly intrigued, pondering in my head whether I wanted to read it or not. I could shut my phone off right now, I could step away from this and breathe, but something pulled me in, sucked me right in.

I couldn’t say the post was disgusting nor was it far away from the truth the further I read. The person articulating themselves very well. My stomach turned and twisted.

-I’m just asking myself how she fell in love with Sebastian? How can she know for sure that what she feels for him is actually love? If I got together with him, I would ask myself this. Even if it hurts, I would still question my feelings towards him. Is it actually love, or just the fan inside writing its own fanfiction? And let’s take this even further, they’re getting married… what if she realizes that after all, what she was feeling wasn’t love, it was just the fangirl inside, fulfilling her own fanfiction?-

What if… I’m not in love, but rather satisfying the fangirl within me.

 -

 I awoke to the soft morning light peeking through the white thin curtains, a weight on my middle pulling me closer to the body laying next to me. Sebastian laid on his stomach, his arm draped over my back, his hand gripping my waist as he exhaled deeply. He was in a deep slumber, but still keeping me at his side which made it impossible to move away from him.

I worked hard on removing his arm from my body to climb off of the bed, looking back at Sebastian as he shifted in the bed, rolling over to his back. I walked over to the bathroom connected to the bedroom to proceed my morning routine. I took off my baggy shirt and underwear, stepping into the shower to wash off the sweat of the night. Sebastian surely knows how to keep me up to a time where I should be sleeping.

I felt my muscles relax under the warm water, my hands gently massaging my body with fruit scented soap.

I left the shower, wrapping a towel around me, to turn my attention to my skincare routine, washing my face, putting on my serum and moisturizing my face. The door opened to Sebastian walking in, hugging me from behind, kissing my shoulder.

“Good morning, love.” He said, sleep sill in his voice. Sebastian stepped into the shower and I changed back into the comfortable shirt.

I made breakfast for the both of us before I had to get to work, Sebastian had a day off and I envied him for it.

We ate breakfast and I headed to work, but not before Sebastian pulled me into his arms, kissing me passionately. He took my left hand admiring the diamond ring on my finger. “I love you.” He said and I was out the door.

I arrived at work, dropping my bag on the desk, since the summer holidays were on their way, so are the people wanting to get away with their children and spouses alike. I turned my computer on preparing myself for the eight hours of recommending hotels, flights and things to do at their destination.

My boss, Linda, walked up to me an apologetic look on her face. I braced myself for what’s to come.

“Good morning, Y/n.” She sat down in front of my desk, a sandwich on a plate on her lap.

“Morning. What’s on the menu for today? Anything special?”

Linda laughed, dropping her head. “Y/n, I have to ask a favour. I know your wedding and honeymoon are on their way, but there was an incident. By the way, how’s the planning and your husband to be?”

“Good… good, I have everything set, nothing seems to be missing but a couple thousand dollars in Sebastian’s wallet.” Linda found this one funnier, throwing her head back, almost dropping her sandwich on the floor. “What’s the incident?”

“You know how Beck has a habit of finding ways to destroy her leg?”

I nodded, calling back to the many times Beck has had issues in keeping her leg in one piece. Not that she’s breaking it, rather bruising the shit out of it.” “Yeah, I do.”

“Well she done did it again.” We laughed in union. It became an inside joke by now. “I need you to fly to London for three weeks to inspect and review this hotel right in the heart of the city. It’s under a new owner and quite a few things have changed, I could ask Annie, but she’ll need to find someone to watch her kid. Don’t worry, you’ll be back in time for your wedding, which by the way, I can’t wait for. I already have my dress!”

I stared at her for a second. A trip to London was the last thing I thought I’d be doing right now, especially with the wedding just four weeks away. I pondered and the idea jumped around in my head. It would be kind of nice, getting out of the city, get my head in the game. Maybe think about my intentions of marrying Sebastian… try to find out if the fangirl inside is responsibe or not.

“Ok, sure, why not.” I smiled, Linda clapping her hands together, her Sandwich threatening to fall once again.

 -

 I arrived at home, taking my shoes off along with my coat. Linda gave me a folder with all the necessary information about the trip and all the points I needed to check out.

The only person that I now needed to confront was Sebastian.

I walked into the living room, seeing him sprawled across the couch, wrapped in a blanket. “Hey, babe.” I said while approaching him. I sat down and laid his head on my lap. I leaned down, kissing his lips tenderly.

“How was work?” He asked, closing his eyes.

“Good. Y’know, a lot of people preparing for the summer.” I pondered for a moment, trying to find the right words. “Seb? I need to tell you something.”

He sat up immediately, his eyes looking onto mine desperately. He took my hands into his. I knew he was worried.

“I- I accepted a job to go to London for three weeks, to inspect a hotel, I know this is very close to our wedding date, but Linda said I was the only choice next to Annie, and she would have to look for someone to take care of her child.”

“When are you leaving?”

“Tomorrow. First thing.”

Sebastian exhaled deeply, looking away from me. “Feels like running to me.”

“Sebastian…” I squeezed his hands in mine. “I’m not running, nor and I going to stand you up at the altar, I just… have to figure some stuff out.

“So, you are running? What’s there to figure out?” “Did I propose too soon, should we postpone the wedding?”

It was me this time, exhaling, looking away from him. “I’m not sure if the feelings I have for you are my own or just an imagination from the fan I was- still am!” I looked at Sebastian, pleading for him to understand. “I don’t want to leave on bad terms or move the wedding to another day. I just have to figure out if I’m going to hurt you.”  

His gaze finally met mine and I knew. I knew he didn’t understand the way I hoped he would.

“Y/n, I know that you love me and There’s nothing that changes that whether you were or still are a fan of me, I don’t give a shit. But if this is what you need to steer your mind into the right direction and lay your worries to rest, then do it.” Sebastian leaned in, kissing me softly. “I’ll be waiting for you, no matter what.”

Tears threated to fall down my cheeks, I didn’t know if this would resolve the storm within me, but I knew this was good, for both me and Sebastian.

We went to bed, holding each other tightly, tangled between the sheets, his hands on my body feverishly roaming every inch.

 -

 I packed my suitcase with my necessities, suddenly dreading my departure. I got a text telling me that my ride to the airport was downstairs.

As I stood at the door, Sebastian pulled me into a tight hug, whispering in my ear over and over how much he loves me and misses me already. I looked up to him cupping his cheeks with my hands pulling him down for a passionate kiss.

“I love you, Sebastian.” I couldn’t cry right now, but I’m sure he knew I wanted to.

He kissed the back of my left hand, his gaze lingering on the ring. “Come back and marry me, Y/n. I want to be your husband more than I wanted to be anything else.”

“I will.”

“I love you, Y/n.”

With that, I was out of the door, into the elevator. Mentally preparing myself.

 London, here I come!

-

A/N pt.2: YES!! THERE WILL BE A SEQUEL TO THIS MASTERPIECE!! I have thought about it, consulted with @buckisthatyou​ about it and have come to the conclusion that I need to write it. And because we all want to know what it’s called:

House. It will be called house and no one can stop me.

Anyway, since I already wrote a Thank You post I will keep it short and sweet. 

Thank you all for waiting for me to write this. If i had written it earlier, I probably would've not come up with a sequel. So everything has a purpose... right?

Thank you for reading and I will see you in

House!

[bloodfcst-a]

given the revival of the vii fandom with all of the hullabaloo surrounding remake, i can think of no better time to do this meme. i also suggest you check out my updated nav page if you haven’t already! i worked really hard on it okay sobs.

things a new rp partner should know about me !

write 3-5 things a new rp partner (or those who want to be) should know about you and tag 3-5 people! it should be related to rp and not to other interests. 

tagged by: no one, but it’s a shame bc... i got thoughts. you were warned.

tagging: @angereve​ @enshijou​ @breselin​ @serophs​ @strfe​ @fractempyreal​ @extremepath​ @localmagicalboi​ @shimmerseas​ @duplikiss​ @verumking​ @asterites​ + if it strikes your fancy.

i. i am not your mother’s/father’s yu.ffie blog. while i do have a verse reserved for compilation content, that’s not the main premise of this blog. if you came here for oversexualized underage ninjas.... i’m going to have to direct you elsewhere. out here we’re primarily an adult modern interpretation... who does not daylight as a ninja constantly. she can, however, be a y.akuza or a sheltered member of high society who enjoys kicking ass for justice so if you’re interested in that, y’know. c’mon down.

ii. the typical ‘ yu.ffie is a kleptomaniac ’ / ‘ stop stealing my stuff ’ trope is like. one that grates my very existence. i have talked about this many times, but for those of you who are new: yufi has only stolen out of necessity to her cause. the only time i’ll refer to petty theft on this blog is if she like steals a fry or something. if we’re joking around, okay, but... please don’t consider that to be the sole core of her characterization. i’m begging. i’m on my knees. i’m warning you, i’ll cry and then i’ll probably ignore whatever post you’ve mentioned it in if you’re serious. just. don’t be that person if you’re following me.

if we’re going into it, the only times she’s stolen anything were: > in crisis core, as the ‘ treasure princess. ’  but this is arguable, as the treasure is truly up for grabs to start with & zack repeatedly goes after these locations she’s sent to him ( which, by the way, were sent to her from rufus to attempt to retaliate against + destroy shinra hq ). zack already knew what was up when: 1) she showed up in his spam folder; 2) she literally said she’s on the hunt for treasure; and 3) he knew at least after the second time that he was gon’ get goinked ( please see definition #2 ) so... can’t help him there. > in vanilla vii, when the party is foolish enough to meet her and not recruit her off the bat ( it be ya own self ). to be fair, 99% of her interactions with easterners / non-wutai prior to that moment had been people who either wanted to kill her or exploit her, so... it’s only self-preservation to use them before they use her or worse, leave her for dead. a sad reality for a 16 year old. > in vanilla vii, only after the party arrives to wutai & she thinks she can successfully finish her mission of “ getting all the strongest materia. ” after she’s captured, she does apologize, and then afterward makes cloud sign it in writing. so. y’know, she did learn from her mistake & said “ ugh, guess i gotta put that diplomacy training to use. ”

y’all could argue that she’s a thief class and that’s what they do, but note that it’s NOT one of her core skills-- it’s a MATERIA. which means everyone out there with a steal materia could be out here being a kleptomaniac. cloud? barret? tifa? red xiii? none of your favs are safe. her skills in the game, however, are shit called “ blood festival ” ( oh? see the username’s relevance all of a sudden? aha! ) and “ doom of the living. ”  she’s out here summoning ghosts and reigning otherworldly power on ur ass but... fandom wasn’t ready for that conversation !!  some folks were too BASIC and couldn’t handle her true strength... so i will gladly champion that for you.

iii. i like to emphasize that yufi is an emotionally strong yet traumatized figure, which stems from her origins and that i just put that in the forefront. we have a character who is haunted by her mother who died after childbirth, seemingly rejected from her father yet held to the highest of his standards, has attachment issues because she’s the “ black sheep ” and doesn’t just accept defeat or dejection even if it comes from her core community, survived multiple wars, has led in post-war rescue efforts on multiple occasions, was wrongfully imprisoned, was on the forefront of pandemic outbreaks as a first-responder, joins and rises to the top of an organization created to restore world order, is one of the two top operatives in said organization ( and the one out on the field longer--sorry vin.cent, but u only got involved at lu.cretia and when the actual gunshots disturbed your brooding and wine session filled isolation sessions. but like, mood tho ), pretends to be cheery despite clearly remembering all the hauntings and death and other bullshit she’s been facing since she was a toddler.... oh, and she disarmed bombs when her country was wrongfully targeted + used as political bait for terrorists...when she was a child. that’s canon, if we’re talking about  “ accuracy. ” even in vanilla vii, she had no outlets, no one to turn to, ‘cause everyone was cloud vc: “ not interested. ”  

so if you’re on this blog, it’s not like you won’t see happy  yufi... but realize that i recognize that she is multifaceted and has a lot of baggage. emotional issues which unfortunately i bring to every verse gfdohfofh but u know, it’s core to her character + y’all gon have to deal, or... idk, go find another yufi. i’m not forcing you to be here.

iv. in my opinion, the best plotting comes with ooc conversations/interactions. i’m not saying if we plot that we’re required to be friends, ‘cause i don’t wanna force anyone into friendship, but i truly believe that if you want super deep plots with frequent interactions, we should... probably talk more than once. pretty simple, imo !  sometimes people claim i play favorites, but i really don’t... if you never talk to me and you don’t respond to my attempts to interact, then how am i supposed to know you’re interested? 

as a general rule, i’ll put in as much effort as i receive. if i see you’re interested in me, if we’re really vibing when it comes to plotting, if you’re sending asks & liking posts, we’ve got some threads going, rad !  if i like starter calls and send you asks and message you and you never respond to me... ?  i’ll take that as a sign you don’t wanna talk + i should move on to someone else. if i’m wrong, well... do something to change my mind.

v. i know i went hard as fuck on this meme, but that’s bc I’M REALLY PASSIONATE ABOUT ABOUT THIS MUSE.  in reality i’m actually quite soft + a weenie babie. if you ask.......... most people, i think they’d say i try really hard to be approachable and adaptable. i think everyone who talks to me on discord laughs at me because i’m scared of the stupidest things + i love to make jokes and just be funny and relatable. so please be nice and love me and my sassy fighty extremely tough deprived child. we both need hugs. 

kthx i’m finally done.

[fizzpixie]

LeviHan Highschool AU

Requested from @appleblondie0397

Is it bad that I initially imagined Levi as a hot senior boy and Hanji as one of  those lil freshman girls that he has a huge thing for? I’ve been seeing memes floating around about that lately.

They aren’t in this story tho I swear

I’m very excited about this prompt, thank u so much. This ended up being a lengthy monster because I got super into it so I kinda cut the ending a little short. 

Levihan Highschool AU Title: Prompted Request: Levihan with the context of them being in highschool and levi and hanji having a sleepover at Levi's place (doesn't have to be anything rated r or sexual) Summary: Hanji (a junior) is head over heels for the short boy (a senior) she sits behind in her literature class. Their friendship blossoms over the course of the semester, until one day he invites her over to work on an essay together. Little does she know, he has been paying close attention to her, too. Word count: 2882 Warnings: very seldom vulgar language, mentions of sexual themes (none related to levi or hanji)

“And remember, this is all due by next wednesday. Late work is unacceptable.” Mr. Pixis exaggerated as he passed out papers to the front row, having the front students cascade the worksheets down to the people behind them. Levi groaned as he slipped a sheet for himself when the pile came his way and handed the stack behind him without turning around. Hanji subconsciously took a sheet and passed on the stack. She stopped scribbling in her notebook, glanced at it, and then tapped Levi’s shoulder.

“I’m sorry, what did he say? I wasn’t paying attention.” Levi rolled his eyes.

“This sheet has the prompt for our next essay, it’s due this upcoming Wednesday--,” He paused for a fleeting moment after processing what she had said, then swiveled around to give Hanji a quizzical look, “now what on god’s green earth could possibly keep four-eyes from paying attention in class?” She was quick to cover the contents of her notebook from his unwelcome eyes.

“None ya.” She promptly responded. Hanji was pretty protective of her journal that she used for her advanced placement literature class. Inside she had spent a collection of hours doodling Levi’s name in little hearts within the page margins. Levi had tried to peek at it before, but to no avail. Hanji would always snatch it from his view and say ‘none ya’ as in ‘none ya business’.

Their literature class was small, with maybe a little less than twenty people in it. Their mutual best friend, Erwin, sat in the farthest front corner. There was no seating chart on the first day of school but it was created as soon as everyone picked a seat. Erwin showed up late for class on the first day of school. Hanji, on the other hand, strategically showed up to class as early as she could, then proceeded to drum up mindless conversation with the teacher until a specific person showed up for class. When Levi finally crossed the classroom’s threshold right before class started, Hanji prayed to the gods that he wouldn’t pick a spot where she couldn’t sit next to him. She abruptly ended her conversation with Mr. Pixis just to see Levi had picked an obscure spot completely shrouded by other classmates. However, she was fortunate enough to snag a spot directly behind him. It wasn’t ideal. She was typically the type of student to sit front and center to help her pay attention and perform better in class. But she had been eyeing Levi in the hallways all of last semester. When she found out they finally had a class together -- a literature class, of all things-- she was beyond thrilled.

Yes, Levi was short. But he was still entirely masculine. He fashioned a more casual-gothic look. Hanji couldn’t tell if it was unintentional or not, because naturally, his hair was darker colored and he was always a bit more pale with heavy eye bags. Though he did seem to have a preference for the color black. He often wore black skinny jeans and boots, but when he wasn’t wearing a casual t-shirt he would sometimes pose in a nice button up or polo. Whenever Levi wore his jean jacket, Hanji would melt. But despite her admiration towards the quiet boy in black, she had a deep sinking feeling that she wasn’t his type. It seemed unorthodox for an ambitious, overly intelligent, and reckless girl who followed her impulses to be his type. Not to forget, she was entirely loud and obnoxious. He seemed to like quiet and logical girls who kept to themselves.

They were coming up to the end of the second semester for summertime. Levi and Hanji’s friendship grew exponentially when they first met in Mr. Pixis’ notorious class of literature, all with Hanji’s efforts of initiating conversation with him. This was one of their final essays before their upcoming final. 

“Alright. Well, Miss. ‘None ya’, I’m getting some food with Erwin after class and then going home to start this essay. Would you like to come over to my place to work together?”

Hanji felt her heart skip a beat.

“Would Erwin be there?” Surely this was too good to be true.

“Nah. He told Marie that he would hangout with her tonight to catch up on homework. We both know what they’re actually gonna do, though.” It wasn’t. Hanji tried to act casual.

“I mean like, yeah, I’d be down to come over.” Levi gave a small nod with his head. The bell then suddenly blared, signaling the end of the school day. Levi stood and neatly tucked the sheet in between some folders in his backpack.

“Cool. You have my number, I’ll text you the address and you can come over around 9 or so.” Hanji glanced up at him.

“9? Doesn’t that seem a little late?”

“Yeah, my bad. I have a lot of errands to run after getting food with Erwin so I’m not free until then. Is that okay?” It wasn’t okay. Hanji prefered to go to bed at 10 pm sharp so she could wake up at 6 am and get a full eight hours of sleep.

“Yeah, that’s fine!” It didn’t matter. She had never been over to his house before. Looking back on it, she didn’t recall anyone ever going to his place before. Not even Erwin. She could afford to lose one night of a full eight hours.

***

Hanji parked in front of a busted apartment on the outskirts of downtown. She noticed how Levi lived an astonishing distance away from school. She checked her text again to reread the address, then scanned the address plate etched into the brick. She was definitely at the right place. She tried the front door of the apartment-- which are traditionally supposed to be locked at all times for residents safety-- that slid open with ease. Hanji also noted the gaping hole shattered in the glass on the side panel by the door, as  if someone had kicked it.

‘Okay, third floor, apartment 304.’ She anxiously thought to herself. With each creaky step up, her heart rate only got faster. The lights flickered inconsistently over her head, buzzing as if they would burn out any second. ‘I can do this. We’re literally just doing homework. I like homework. It will be fun.’ She tried to calm herself as she ambled down the dim hallway and approached his apartment.

She stood in front of the door for several seconds before knocking. She examined the walls and floors of the hallway. The walls were white and dirty with a checkered patterned accent on the baseboard. The floor was concrete. It felt like a poorly kept, horror movie hospital.

As she raised her arm to knock, the door suddenly swung open. Levi stood there with a large trash bag slung over his shoulder.

“Oh, hey Hanji. How long were you there for?” He paused, “actually, nevermind. I need to take out the trash really quick, but feel free to let yourself in and sit on the couch. I’ll be back in a sec.” He moved passed her and trudged down the hallway. Hanji didn’t say anything, and watched him as he disappeared beneath the stairs below. When she was by herself, she turned to face the entrance to his place and with a cautious step, she entered.

It wasn’t very big at all. At first she thought it was a studio apartment, but she then noticed a narrow hallways that branched off into three rooms with closed doors. She located the couch and sat down, setting her backpack to her side. To her surprise, the apartment was spotless. The floor was a dark grey carpet that seemed permanently stained with age, but there was a rug thoughtfully placed and vacuumed in the center of the room. The sink was free of dishes, the few pictures and decorations on the walls were symmetrical and clean. Even the kitchen counters had been polished. To her surprise, there were two glasses of water on the coffee table, resting on home-made cork coasters.

‘He got me water. That’s very nice of him’. It was a basic courtesy, but she appreciated it. She gingerly picked up the glass and took a sip as she examined more of the apartment. The walls were a dark green with wooden shelves that hung up and displayed odd ornaments, such as old weapons and antiques. As she continued to observe the base of the apartment, her eyes landed on a picture that was not like the rest. It was a portrait. A smaller portrait of a woman with raven hair and grey eyes. Despite looking tired, she was smiling. She seemed very happy, and she was incredibly beautiful. She also had a striking resemblance to Levi.

Her thoughts were interrupted as Levi came back into the room unannounced.

“Sorry about that. My uncle didn’t take out the trash like he said he would. He’s a bum.” Hanji chuckled.

“No it’s totally cool. I was just chillin’ here. Thank you for the water.” She remarked. He replied with a solemn ‘mhmm’ then found a spot next to her on the polyester couch. With how close they were sitting together, Hanji nearly died. He pulled out a cheap laptop from his backpack and proceeded to log on as he simultaneously checked the sheet with the prompt.

“Okay, so the prompt is ‘Life is full of opinions and people differing from you. Everyone has and will encounter times when someone they meet has a different perspective from them. What are  the most effective ways to communicate ideas? What do you do when those ideas aren’t relayed properly, then argumentation breaks out? When was there a time you met someone completely different from yourself? How did it turn out?’” He began to read, but Hanji had zoned out as he was speaking, staring intently at the portrait of the mystery woman.

“Who’s that?” Hanji blurted out and pointed at the frame. Levi glanced up at her.

“Who’s what?”

“That. That woman on the wall.” He followed her finger to the portrait.

“Oh. That’s my mom. My uncle happened to have an old photo of her, we don’t have many of them.” It made sense. He was a spitting image of her.

“She’s very beautiful. Will I ever get to meet her?” Levi responded bluntly.

“She’s dead.” Hanji felt the blood leave her face, making her grow pale.

“Oh my god, Levi I’m so sorry I didn’t mean to--”

“Don’t be,” he started, “she’s been dead for a long time. I think I was like, what, four years old? I don’t remember. Either way, I’ve healed from it now,” Hanji frowned. Even if what he said could be true, there is permanent damage when missing an important figure in your life. And it’s affecting him whether he knew it or not, “Anyway, we should continue. It’s getting late.

***

The antique clock on the wall read 12:04 pm. They had spent at least a full hour writing, but the last two hours were spent vicariously sharing stories and talking about unrelated things to the prompt. Hanji was learning a plethora of new things about Levi, and she couldn’t be more satisfied. She felt sadness swell in her heart when she peered at the clock. Her eyes were growing heavy, and she knew she couldn’t write anymore for the night. Nothing when she was tired was as quality as she would like. Levi was continuing a story.

“But yeah, my uncle can be an asshole sometimes. There was this one time when he stole my computer to watch porn on some sketch website and he infected it with 12 different viruses. It also wasn’t cool because he didn’t tell me he used it for porn, so when I opened my computer at school--”

“Hey Levi? I’m sorry to interrupt, but I really think I should go home, it’s really late and I’m incredibly tired.”

“Oh, that’s fine,” He glanced at the window to see rain pouring down outside. They didn’t notice it started to storm while they were writing.

Hanji packed her things slowly to relish her final moments in his apartment. She wasn’t too sure if she’d ever be here again. When she finished, she approached the door. Levi saw her out.

“Thanks for coming over, I think we got a lot done.” He thanked her as she stood at the door.

“Yeah, I think so too. Thanks for having me.”

***

Hanji dashed to her car parked on the side of the road to avoid getting wet.

‘I knew I shoulda got my keys out before going outside’ She scolded herself mentally as she desperately fished in her pocket to find her car keys, only to notice they weren’t there. She gave up trying to do everything with haste, being that she was already soaking wet. She knelt down to rummage through her backpack, but they didn’t seem to be there, either.

‘Maybe I left them in his apartment?’ She started to question herself as she peered inside her car window. She sighed in disbelief. She had locked her car keys inside of her car. The keys mocked her as they sat in perfect view on the passenger seat. Hanji, not really knowing what to do, took a slow walk of shame back inside the apartment to tell Levi. She trudged up the stairs and to room 304. She knocked quietly. Levi opened the door pretty quick with a confused look apparent in the bend of his brow as he observed her standing there, completely drenched.

“Is something wrong Hanji? Did you leave your keys here or something?” Hanji sighed.

“I wish. I locked them in my car…” She took a beat to think about what to say next. She didn’t think about what to ask him while she was walking up the stairs, “could you maybe drive me home?” Levi shook his head.

“That would be dumb. It’s pretty late and I know you get up in like 5 hours. Why don’t you just spend the night?”

Hanji had to take a second to process what he had said. Then another second.

“Your uncle wouldn’t mind?”

��Kenny isn’t home. He won’t be until tomorrow.” Hanji toyed with the idea in her head. She absolutely wanted to, more than anything. She didn’t even bother with the pros and cons, she just went with her impulsive gut.

“Yeah, that’d be great.”

***

“Here, you can sleep in my bed. I’m familiar with the couch we have, anyway,” He guided Hanji through the hallway into the door on the right, “the bathroom is across the hall. The closed door at the end is Kenny’s room, don’t go in there,” He continued to instruct, “If you need anything let me know.” He handed her a small stack of dry clothes. Hanji set her bag down on the floor. His room was like the rest of the  place -- spotless, but a little worn with time.

“I feel bad that you’re sleeping on the couch.” Hanji started.

“Don’t,” he paused for a moment. They shared the silence for a beat, “but keep in mind, I don't have to use the couch.” Hanji didn’t physically react to his proposal, but felt like her stomach was knotting itself.

“You mean like, sharing the bed?” Levi scoffed.

“It’s a good thing you’re cute, four-eyes. Yes, we can in fact share the bed. There are no physical limitations to us sharing a twin sized bed--”

“Oh, shut up. I know there aren’t any physical barriers, but it just feels, I don’t know, intimate.” Hanji felt her face going pale. She was making a fool out of herself. Levi crossed his arms, with the faintest shit-eating grin tugging at the corners of his lips.

“Oh, darn. Now what ever will we do? We don’t have to, of course. It’s just a suggestion.” He reminded her. Hanji didn’t want to give herself time to think about it, knowing she would over analyze the situation. It was just a night of sleep.

***

Underneath the sheets, Hanji curled up into a ball. Levi was on the other side of her, their backs touching each other as they were facing away from each other on the tight bed.

“Thank you for the dry clothes.” She said as they lay in the darkness in silence for a little while. She was sporting a pair of his old grey sweat shorts and a baggy band t shirt.

“Yeah, I didn’t want you getting my bed all wet.” She was aware. But despite being in dry clothes and wrapped in sheets, she was shivering cold. Levi could feel her body tremble next to his.

Without a word, Levi rolled over so he was facing her back, and slowly snaked one arm over her waist and another underneath her pillow to wrap himself onto her. Hanji completely froze at the abrupt feeling of warmth pressing onto her back and legs. Levi noticed her quivers completely cease.

“Are you okay with this?” Hanji noted how he noticed she was cold. She didn’t smile, but instead felt her arm search for his, lacing her fingers with his warm hand. She was entirely grateful.

“Yes. Definitely.”

[vydante]

Restart | Avengers x Male! Reader | 4

Fandom: Marvel

Pairing: Avengers x Male! Reader (romantically: undecided)

Plot: Dr. Strange said there was only one possibility of winning the battle against Thanos. 

But when (Name) is forced into the past and into his younger body, he’s suddenly given the chance to start over and prevent the future from happening again.

So which route are you going to take? Are you going to risk the future and take preventative measures, or live life with the Avengers for the next 4 years, knowing what will soon come?

A/N: Long. Includes Endgame Spoilers.

“We have a lead on recent H.Y.D.R.A. activities. Normally, they’d send two or three of us, but from what we’ve heard this one might be bigger than we think."

You weren’t looking at Steve but instead at the information in front of you. You were all sat in the quinjet while Nat was flying it. They'd usually take turns and sometimes they'd let you pilot it, despite the fact that you didn't even have a drivers permit yet. You either walked, flew, or had someone drive you to where you needed to be. Though truth be told, even if you weren't secretly a nearly 30-year old adult in a teenagers body, you knew how to drive anyways.

You were next to your dad, who was also looking at the information. And while all of them were discussing what the mission was, you were busy thinking.

‘H.Y.D.R.A.?’

You hadn’t heard of that name in a while. While you were more than confident that the group was still up and running in your original timeline, you had stopped joining all missions regarding H.Y.D.R.A. You left that to the government and lived your life as peaceful as can be. 

But now that you were reminded of H.Y.D.R.A., you remember that S.H.I.E.L.D. had been infiltrated by the enemy group. That caused an uproar among the United Nations. Because of that, it was one of the reasons why Steve was so against the government taking control over the Avengers.

You furrowed your eyebrows.

What should you do with that information? Should you take that up with Director Fury? Would he even believe you? Perhaps you should go to Strange. He’d probably know what you should do; he probably already knows that his timeline’s been jacked. 

But… If your sense of time is correct, then chances are Strange isn’t even here yet- at least, with the wisdom of the temple folks and time stone. Perhaps there's someone else who holds that wisdom? After all, Strange had to get it from somewhere.

But what if they didn't want to help you? Then should you just remain silent as H.Y.D.R.A. quietly steered S.H.I.E.L.D.’s head in their goals?

Your head snapped forward when you heard Tony call your name.

“(Name)!”

You glanced at him.

“Yeah?”

“You listening?”

You nodded and stood up. You positioned yourself over the map on display and cleared your throat.

“So, Hulk and Thor tank the front line while Black Widow and Hawkeye flank the rear. Captain, Iron Man and I head into the building and take care of each floor, hall, section, whatever. One of the floors holds the files we need, and if our information is right, then it's not on the first 4 floors. As far as we know, there’s more than a few hundred enemies, soldiers, and non-soldiers alike. No civilians in a 130-mile radius. Anything I miss?”

After your mess up with Tony a few days ago, you made an effort to remember all of the missions from then on, which going on these missions helps with jogging back your memory. This one was easy to remember; Steve chewed you out for not paying attention when you were in the quinjet and you had been pissy for a while afterward. 

You even stole and hid his shield, much to everyone's annoyance when the next mission came around.

You glanced at the rest of your teammates as you finished your recap of what you assumed Steve said. They were silent and looked at each other.

Steve coughs into his fists and looks at everyone else except for you. 

“Well, I couldn’t have worded it any better.”

You mentally cursed. Steve didn’t say anything about the plan. Shit.

Natasha walked up to you and patted your bicep.

“Well said. Boys, we’re approaching the enemy base.”

Steve nodded. You all positioned yourself as the quinjet lowered itself onto the ground. If your memory serves you right, you should know what you should be doing. This should be easy. Your helmet snapped over your face and you stood there silently. 

The entrance opened and you were greeted with the fresh patch of snow and silence.

You will admit, the nano-tech suit spoiled you silly. It was, by far, the best damn suit that you had ever made and now that you were without it, you had to hulk around in this bulky suit. You grumble quietly.

There were no extra thrusters, barely any heating, and barely any stabilizers, so you were constantly shaking around as you flew. No extra cannons, no armor regeneration, no nothing. And it made you put making a secret nanotech suit on the top priority of your list. 

You knew you’d have to make a greater effort to conceal it. But since all you need was a housing unit for the nanotech- your dad preferred the one over his chest while you went for one around your neck- you’d just have to adapt for now. Maybe you’ll make the base as a watch, or something.

Reminiscent of your dad’s nanotech prototype. 

But for now, you’ll just have to deal with this clunky iron maiden suit. You were lurking around the corner, having already breached the first few stories, and watched as Steve was on the opposite corner from you. Your dad was watching out for any stragglers on the lower floors. Outside were sounds of screaming and gunshots, and the thunder from Thor's hammer. Chances are, Hulk and Thor probably burst through their 2nd line of defense by now. 

“Apex, you read me?”

That sounded so unfamiliar coming from Steve’s mouth. He hadn’t called you that ever since you disowned that nickname. And even now, you remembered that he'd sometimes slip up and calls you by your name.

“Yeah.”

You glanced over at him. He sent you a hard look and nodded over to his left. You glanced over and saw a staircase. While everyone in the building had already gone out to see the commotion, some had stayed and lingered behind. As far as you could tell, there were around, what, 30 plus? Not too bad, considering you and Steve were there, but it’d be a hassle nonetheless. 

You heard your dad speak over the comms.

“Cap, Iron Kid, I’m heading up.”

Your lips quirked upwards at the nickname. And in true fashion, you heard the faint sounds of his blasters powering up.

‘Weee…! Weee…!’

They were such ugly sounds. Funny, but… You were just glad the noise got upgraded.

Lord knows the number of memes and edits people tagged you in on social media.

Thankfully the guys still around were too busy yelling to notice your dad living it up on the lower level. It all stopped. You raised an eyebrow at Steve, who only sighed.

“So, what’d I miss?”

You jumped and glared at your dad, or as best as you could with the helmet covering your face. He was crouched down in a similar position to you. You saw your dad’s face pop up on your U.I., and rolled your eyes at his smug face. You turned around and mumbled into the comms.

“Not much. Around 30 or so guys. A bunch is armed. There's a staircase across the room.”

Your dad nodded. Clint spoke up in the comms.

“Hey, we’re gonna need you guys to hurry it up there. Not sure if the other two are gonna join us back here, but if he isn’t then we don’t have that much time left.”

In the back was a bunch of gunshots, echoing the ones you just heard then and there. You met eyes with Steve and he nodded.

“Apex, you head straight for the staircase and go up. Iron Man and I will take care of the rest. Files should be straight ahead. Get it, get out. No horseplaying. On the count of three."

"One."

Tony squatted and prepared his blasters. His face disappeared from your unit hub when you glanced at your U.I.

'Thruster Percent: 89...'

"Two."

Steve readied his shield. He nodded and leaned forwards. You got into position as your U.I. was blinking red.

'Thruster Percent: 97...'

"Three!"

You shot off immediately. The enemies head had turned in your direction, but all they saw was what they thought was Iron Man flying by them and to the staircase.

"Shit, stop hi-!"

Steve threw his shield at him and swung at another soldier. One aimed at him with his gun but was knocked back by Tony. He grunted. 

"On your left!"

Steve knocked his elbow back, colliding it into an enemy's face. His shield magnetically attached itself back on his arm as he deflected oncoming bullets. Steve rolled his shoulders as he stared directly into the barrel of a gun.

"I can do this all day."

You were still hovering above the floor as you made your way through the building. Strangely enough, each floor before was loud and filled with people. But the door leading from the staircase was locked from the outside, so it made sense that the floor was silent. The only noise you heard was either from the outside or from the floors below you.

You flew through a few floors until you reached what seemed to be the last one. You blew the hatch open and cautiously walked in, your thrusters out and ready. The screens were off, but you didn't want to trigger anything by turning them on; for now, you left them alone. 

You settled down onto the ground as you carefully scanned the area. As far as you could tell, your signals weren't picking anything up. Though, that didn't mean that pit in your stomach lessoned any bit.

Something felt off.

"Hn, I don't like this..." You muttered quietly to yourself.

You carefully searched all of the tables and cabinets but it wasn't until you were deep into the floor did you finally catch a break.

"Sir, on your 5," J.A.R.V.I.S.' voice spoke up quietly.

Your eyes scanned to your right. 

There was a table next to you that was stacked with paperwork. You carefully approached it. You shuffled through them and scanned each one.

No, no, wrong one, no, no...

Aha.

In your hands, you held a hefty and beaten folder. There was no label, but searching through its contents you founded exactly what you needed.

You held it with a vice grip and prepared your thrusters to break through the ceiling. You got what you needed, and now was the time to dip. But in the corner of your eyes, you spotted a coffee cup.

It was still steaming.

While it wasn't the toughest thing, beating a group of 30 plus people was a bit of a hassle for the two superheroes. Steve was barely breaking a sweat as he picked his shield back up. He glanced around as all he saw was the beaten bodies lying still. Some were struggling to get back up, but Steve just hit them with his shield and they were down for the count. 

While they were done here, judging by the sounds of gunshots and screaming from outside, the others were still busy.

Steve glanced around the room.

"Iron Man?"

"Over here."

Steve turned to see where he was, and Tony was holding up an enemy by his shirt. He looked bloody and bruised, and it was clear that he wasn't going to stay conscious for long. But what bothered Steve was that he had an expression on his face that only said one thing.

Victory.

"What're are you smiling for, soldier?"

Steve spoke up and approached him with his shield in hand. He squared up to the soldier, but he didn't seem the littlest bit intimidated by the super soldier.

The soldier smirked and chucked, but coughed up blood.

"You... You think you've w-won..."

Steve couldn't see Tony's expression, but he could tell that he was rolling his eyes.

"And why is that?"

His eyes were glazed, and Tony wasn't sure if he was looking at him or not. Either way, he didn't like his expression.

"Those gunshots..."

He chuckled quietly. His nose was bleeding by now. Tony listened closely to those gunshots and Steve's eyes widened, his stomach dropping to the floor. The soldier shakingly holds up a finger and points it to the ceiling.

Now that Tony thinks about it, they're a lot closer than they were before. There was thudding, and a sound that rang familiar with Tony too well.

'Wee...!'

"... Where do you think they're coming from?"

Tony finally realized it. He shot his thrusters in the soldier's face and knocked him back to the wall. Steve was already in a full blown sprint to the staircase. Tony shot his thrusters and raced towards the upper floors.

"(Name)!"

Tony called out to you through the comms, but he only heard nothing. You didn't reply back, and that sent slight waves of panic through his skin.

What if something had happened to you? He'd never forgive himself for letting his only child get hurt. What would he tell Pepper? The rest of the team?

While Steve didn't doubt your fighting capabilities, you were still a child in his eyes. You were also reckless and had only so much experience on the battlefield. 

"What happened to the child?"

Thor's voice rang through the comms. He was grunting a bit as the sound of Mjolnir hitting against a body echoes in their ears.

"He's been ambushed; he's not answering us."

Steve grunted as he sprinted up the stairs.

"Okay, we got our job done back here, I'll head up and Nat will get the other guy."

Clint says.

"As will I."

Thor responded back.

They didn't respond as they both made it up to the floor above them and saw that the door had been busted through; the sides were melted and still radiating heat, probably from your thrusters. 

They headed up a few more floors, and each one only made their anxiety worse until they reached the door, which was locked. Steve tried to break the lock by slamming his shield on it, but Tony had to blast it open.

"(Name)!"

While they were expecting to be greeted with an intense struggle, they instead found unconscious bodies lying everywhere, and in the middle stood an unscathed and dumbfounded (Name).

Masterlist

[theprettysetterclub]

hi I would like a haiku matchup please! So I’m an 18y.o, 5'2 fem Virgo INTP +SLAV,as for an introvert I’m really quiet but when I’m around friend I’m mostly v energetic, sarcastic and honest +I sometimes am explosive but mostly when I’m dr*nk, they always call me The Meme Master. I always have my deadly glare that could kill whole country but they always say I’m a cute child 🥺. I often say that my style is alternative egirl goth gf mix of all. I love doing makeup and it’s the only thing I can do. I L O V E cats & I have two and I want more and more. I’m a lazy anime and movie addict. I play video games most of a time (now that it’s quarantine). I mostly listen to metal/rock (like Black Sabbath, Led Zeppelin and King Crimson) but I also listen to vocaloids 😳. As for a slav I would happily drink Vodka with haikyuu folks. I hope that’s enough! Love ya!!🖤

@melskaaaa

intp club represent! also, your pp is so pretty <3 i didn’t get this done as soon as i wanted to, but i hope you like this, and please stay safe! 

for you, i choose… 

iwaizumi hajime!

✧ first of all, you two would be a stunning couple, i have to say. everyone finds you two a little intimidating at first because you both have a glare that could kill a nation hh. also, he loves that you’re significantly shorter than him dskljds 

✧ iwa can handle your more explosive side with ease – he hasn’t been putting up with the tomfoolery of aobajohsai and oikawa for nothing. while he can come off as a bit,,, crabby, especially towards oikawa, he tends to let things slide off him pretty quickly. 

✧ iwa appreciates that you can be quiet sometimes, because he puts up with a lot from his friends. being able to just come home and relax with you is usually his favourite part of the day. i see him enjoying arcade or beat-em-up games, and if that’s your thing to, you’ll lose many evenings trying to one-up each other. he’ll act like he’s mad about it, but he actually finds it pretty attractive when you beat him sdldkfjs

✧ please laze around and watch monster movies with him, it’s all he wants– you two would become quite good at holding movie marathons while wrapped in each other’s arms. iwa likes it because it’s a way for him to be,,, soft, without worrying about it too much, you know?

✧ he really appreciates how honest you are? he’s similar in that he prioritises being honest and straightforward, and he’d really need that in a partner. he’d feel like the fact that you’re honest yourself means that he can tell you things straight, and not have to worry about how he’s coming across or if his words might hurt you. it’s just one of those little things that makes your relationship so,,, easy for him? but he never takes it for granted 

✧ but at the same time, he’d appreciate having a girlfriend who can make him laugh. he needs a break every once in a while, and the general vibe i get is that you’d be a relaxing person for him to be around? someone to let his walls down with and to laugh with after a long, strenuous day

✧ he’s not a big memer himself, but he’d got a folder of them saved just for you dsjlkdfs he does his best, he really does, and it’s actually kind of sweet to see him try so hard to understand what’s going on. please teach him your ways (esp. help him find ways to roast oikawa through memes, it’s a key couple bonding activity)

✧ direct that sarcasm of yours at oikawa and iwa’s in love. frankly, he kept you away from oikawa, for a while – especially when you weren’t officially dating. there was still that nugget of insecurity buried deep in his chest, coupled with the fear that you’d like his best friend more than you liked him. he’d never voice, it though –

✧ all in all, i just think you two would be a great couple! you’d really enjoy each other’s company, and he’d be able to find comfort in spending his downtime with you! 

other matches!

✧ kozume kenma: i know he might seem a bit like a surprising choice, but hear me out. kenma’s quite different from iwa, but i think he’d enjoy your vibe. he’s an intp too, for one thing, and he likes that you’re honest -- kenma would want to be with someone straightforward, after all. i think he’d also enjoy exchanging memes with you, and he’d have surprisingly good ones? he’d also love that he could just,,, laze around with you all day, watching anime or playing video games. you just seem like someone that he’d find easy to get along with, and that’d be the most important thing in a relationship for him. also, you two would absolutely “accidentally” end up with an army of cats that you’ve raised together, just saying,,, 

✧ sugawara koushi: first of all, visual contrast? yes please. second of all, i think your personalities balance each other out quite well, while still meeting in the middle (if that makes sense?). he can be quite sarcastic himself, and you two would have incredible banter. but, like iwa, he appreciates your honesty, and he’d happily return it. you’re the more energetic of the two of you, but i think he’d enjoy that; it means he can let loose a little. but at the same time, he appreciates the quiet time, too-- think of him something like the middle point of iwa and kenma, i guess? also i love the idea of suga as a metal fan dskljdf go to concerts together it’ll confuse daichi like nothing else 

[ikesenhell]

Falling

You can find all other IkeSen works of mine here or become a Patron of mine! NOTES: This was a commission for @psychedelicaya! Thank you so much! Slight warning of mild reference to disturbing content.

She made herself known, and that was difficult to do. He pulled long enough hours that eventually all of the residents blurred together (except for the ones that made stupid mistakes--those he remembered and kept away from his patients). Dr. Ieyasu Tokugawa didn't have time to play professor to the residents. Never mind that he’d been one himself recently; he had obligations of a caregiver, and it was the responsibility of the students to learn at a safe, comfortable distance.

But she stood out immediately.

Part of it was her manner. Ieyasu had plenty of nurses and doctors around that knew how to set others at ease. He’d never mastered that himself. His specialty was cardiology, not people. But every time they wheeled someone from the ER into his wing, her at their side, the patients were calm and collected, no matter the situation.

“Dr. Tokugawa is great,” she assured them. He paused to snap on his gloves and soak in the sound of her voice. He’d never caught her last name. One of the other techs called her ‘Aya’, so Ieyasu assumed that was her name, but it felt so unprofessional to refer to her by it that he stayed from calling her anything at all. “He’ll take care of you.”

“Awful young, isn’t he?”

Ieyasu pretended he didn't hear that. Aya pressed on, comforting and warm. “He’s the best doctor in the wing. You’re in great hands.”

He didn't know how to thank her for the compliment. She liked coffee, so one day on an impulse he bought a gold thermos and tucked it onto the residents station in the ER with a simple note reading only her name. The next day he heard a knock on his office door.

Aya waved the thermos at him. “Was this you?”

Ieyasu stared, nonplussed. “How did you know?”

“Mr. Date said it looked like your handwriting.”

Of course. His best friend and administrator had sold him out. Uncertain where to go from there, Ieyasu quickly answered, “It was a sign of appreciation for your compliment, as well as an acknowledgement of your passable efforts with the patients. Plus, your other thermos is tacky.”

She smiled and his heart froze in his throat. How unfair that expression was! It was almost as if the sunshine came streaming in through the ceiling and hovered around her. How did she have the power to transform the whole hallway? “Yellow is my favorite color. Thanks.”

Ieyasu couldn’t think of anything to say other than, “Mine too. You’re welcome.”

---

Months passed. Her smile became something of a fixture in his life. No matter the rain or storm or sleet, she appeared for her long hours and tense shifts with a smile on her face and the hard determination that so many others lacked. Sometimes she spotted him in the hallways and waved her thermos, eyes sparkling. Ieyasu couldn’t decide if he hated or loved that she kept it on her.

“You’re sweet on her.” Masamune grinned over a late night feast at the local diner, both of them still in their work clothes and not entirely up to the task of going home and cooking dinner.

“Don’t be foolish,” Ieyasu snapped, spearing a potato wedge a little too forcefully. “She’s just a resident. If she doesn’t have a breakdown by the end of the month, I’ll be somewhat surprised.”

“You bought her a present.”

“It was unfair of me not to acknowledge the compliment. Besides. Anything more than that is unprofessional.”

Masamune looked every inch the meme of the smug cat surrounded by knives, but he tucked into his eggs benedict and didn't say anything more.

---

Ieyasu was walking back to his office next week when he heard the soft huff of a sob in the corner. He slowed, mentally calculating his path. Dealing with a crying patient was the last thing he did well--but there was no other way. Whoever they were, they were lingering in the same little cubby space with the vending machines, and his feet would carry him straight past them. Flipping open a folder, he pretended to be in deep thought and strode purposefully by--

Only to halt in his steps.

“Aya?” He asked, daring to say her name aloud for the first time. She started, wiping her eyes.

“Dr. Tokugawa.” Her smile was weak. “Sorry. I thought--I thought you went home for the day.”

“Paperwork,” he answered. Did he ask? Did he dare? She wrapped her arms around herself, smelling of the peppermint oil they sometimes slathered in the ER when a horrid stench permeated the halls. “What--is something--are you okay?”

“I--” Desperately her eyes roved everywhere but him, welling with tears again. “Sorry. We had a burn victim. Baby.”

Oh.

Ieyasu stood there a moment longer, flipping the folder uncertainly in his hand before motioning to her. “Come with me.”

“Dr. Tokugawa…?”

“Ieyasu,” he corrected, uncomfortable in the moment, “Just Ieyasu. Come with me.”

Together they dipped into his cramped office. He turned on the comforting yellow light and motioned a chair, which she sat on, before he flipped on a white noise machine by the doorway.

“Go on.”

She stared blearily at him. “What?”

“It’s a tough job,” he murmured. “Go on. You’re allowed to cry.”

As if permission were what she wanted all along, Aya burst into sobs. He just sat there with her, rubbing her back in slow circles and letting her mourn a child she’d barely known.

---

After that, things were… different.

It started when she left a handwritten note in his office, thanking him for letting her cry it out. Ieyasu didn't know what to do other than leave a small packet of good coffee for her in the residents office. Then it turned into them having small conversations in the hallway and exchanging music recommendations. Ieyasu even went so far as to burn her a CD.

“Is this a mix tape?” She asked, the laughter spilling from those pretty lips. Ieyasu wondered what they tasted like for only a second.

“Look, you don’t have to take it if you don’t want to.”

“No. No, no. I do.” Aya clutched it to her chest and smiled at him. “I’m just feeling a bit like a teenager right now.”

He was too, but he wasn’t entirely sure if it was for the same reasons, so he kept it to himself. Instead he watched her flit through the ER in whatever brief glimpses he was allowed. She teased Dr. Sarutobi and roasted Dr. Sanada with the best of them. When she split pizzas with the other residents, she would pop by and give him a spare slice, sure to give him that smile and light up his office just by existing. He didn't care for pizza (not much, at least), but her--

It was a dangerous thought, but he couldn’t help but entertain it.

One cold December night he was on his way back to the garage when he saw her standing at the bus station, hands tucked into her pockets and breath circling skyward. Thick flakes tumbled around her. Ieyasu wondered if they sold that picture on a postcard.

“Hi.”

She blinked up at him and smiled. “Hi.”

“The bus stopped running an hour ago.”

“Did it?” Aya frowned and reached for her phone. “I thought I read it right…”

“I thought you had a car.”

“I do. It’s in the shop. I’ve never ridden the bus before.”

Ieyasu thought over his options for a half-second before motioning for her to follow him. “I’ll drive you home.”

“I wouldn’t want to impose--”

“It’s no trouble.”

She fell into step beside him, their arms brushing and sending electric sparks shooting all over his body. God. How could he be cold with her there? They stepped into the garage and he unlocked his modest Honda, both of them slipping into the frigid interior.

“God.” She sniffed. “It’s freezing.”

Something born from habit of being around Masamune kicked in. Without thinking, Ieyasu offered, “Want to get hot chocolate?”

“Yeah! That sounds great.”

They both paused as if realizing what had happened, Ieyasu with the keys barely in the ignition. It was another beat before he started the car. What was he doing? But--but she’d said yes, and something in his stupid, stupid heart soared.

He drove them over to the twenty-four hour Starbucks. The snow was falling fast, drifting up against the curb, and together they bundled inside and ordered their twin hot chocolates. Something about it felt so natural that Ieyasu almost forgot his reservations, his position, all of the duties that stood between the two of them. It was just her, her, her, Aya, this lovely woman who graced him with her time and smile. She talked about grad school and residency and he offered her advice, their knees nested together as they huddled up by the window.

“It’s getting late, isn’t it?” She laughed, tossing her long-ago drained cup into the trash. “What time is it, even?”

Ieyasu checked his watch. “Nearly two am.”

“We’re probably bothering the staff here.”

The very real possibility he was bothering her struck fear in his heart. “I should get you home.”

But--much to his surprise--Aya frowned at that. “Aw. Are you sure? We could do a sortie around the block and then go, just so we can get into the snow.”

“Fine.”

She ordered a second hot chocolate and they scooted around in drifts on the sidewalk. Before he had the sense to feel what was coming, Aya hopped to the nearest car and packed a snowball from the hood. “Heads up!”

“What the--” An instinct born of being around Masamune kicked in; Ieyasu barely dodged the ball and watched it smack harmlessly into the Starbucks.

Oh no. This was war. Without a second thought he dove for his car, loading up ammunition and pelting her. She screamed and raced around the parking lot, her infectious laughter echoing through the night. Back and forth they went, snow flying and loading in his hair and hers, the thick flakes replenishing their supply almost as fast as they used it--and then she slipped on the pavement.

“Are you ok?” Ieyasu raced to her as fast as he dared on the slick ground. She was smiling still, just rubbing her hip and shaking her head. “Let me check you over.”

“I’m fine, I’m fine! I promise.” She blinked at him, her eyelashes dusted with flakes and her smile as radiant as the white winter around her, her cheeks pale from the frost. God. His heart beat so loud in his chest that he wondered if she might hear him.

“You swear?” He asked.

Aya’s smile faded. And it was a second--only a split second--where she cast her eyes to his mouth.

He took the cue.

She tasted like snow and chocolate and whipped cream and the sunlight she so often was. He pulled away and she whispered a faint uh uh, dragging him back in by the collar and kissing him right back. All of his fears and obligations melted away in her radiance, the soft drift of flakes around him forgotten. Ieyasu curled his whole body around hers and gave her everything she wanted.

It was a long, long time before they broke apart again. Her smile was the most beautiful thing he’d ever seen.

“Again?” She asked.

“You’re greedy,” he responded, and leaned in once more.

[foxxygold-blog]

South Park High School Jokester

                                                       Chapter ~ 1

               “Butters, there is no way the new kid did that. You probably making shit up,” Stan muttered with a sigh walking with his group of friends towards the new kid’s house. Butters, the young blonde man who had visited your house just the day before was stammering and looking nervous.

               “I’m not making it up! I could feel the base in my bones while the music was being blasted, and they had, t-they had these huge bongs while screaming at us!” Butters cried in agony, doing his best to convince his friends what he had seen. All the others just rolled their eyes, there was no way someone like that just moved in. Sure, South Park was known for the unknown showing up but the people were normally, well, normal.

               You quietly poked your head out from behind your curtains and could see a bunch of boys making their way down the street. Seeing the young blonde boy from the day prior, you gave a hum of happiness and closed your curtains. This time, you decided, you’d play another joke on all the new guys. This one would be more tame, as to not scare away some of your new probably friends. Your room was still littered with plenty of boxes you needed to unpack, but all you had pulled out was a bunch of your gag gifts you’d gotten from friends. You pulled out the iconic horse's head and starred at its black, dead eyes before slipping on the mask.

               Since yesterday, your mother had taken the stereo and moved it downstairs, though it was yours, she liked to use it to play music for the company when they were over. Before the boys could get there, you grabbed your phone and raced downstairs, quickly plugging in your phone and letting it connect before search through your music library and finding the folder that said “Ironic Memes” on it. Scrolling through each song, you finally found “Trapped in the Drive-Thru” by Weird Al Yankovic and fast forwarded it, keeping it paused at just the right timing. You looked at yourself in a nearby mirror and adjusted the horse mask appropriately and stood at the front door. Your mother, coming in from the backyard stared at your back for a while, trying to figure out you were doing before shaking her head and deciding it wasn’t worth the time of her day to figure out what you were doing.

               Soon enough the knocking on the door sounded and you couldn’t help but hold back your giggles, taking in a deep breath and holding it to hold back your laughing before answering the door.

               Stan looked around at the top of the house with a hum, hearing the door open, he opened his mouth to speak before looking at who answered the door and froze. There you were, standing in some oversized pj’s your favorite band scrawled all across the pants and a boring, plain grey t-shirt with a horse mask on. The silence seemed to go on forever, all of his friends standing quietly behind him, questioning the situation and what was going on. Just as Stan opened his mouth, you hit the play button on a little remote in your hand; the song picking up you had set it on.

               “But he looks at me.” You paused it again, watching the boy startled by the sudden music. Watching him move and about to say something again, you started it back up again, inching closer to him.

               “And I look at him.” Pause.

               Stan took a nervous step back; you could the blonde shaking from where he stood. He truly did not understand what the hell you were doing.

               “And he looks at me.” Pause. Another inch closer.

               “And I LOOK AT HIM!” The rubber plastic of the horse's open mouth was now kissing Stan’s face as he and all the other boys looked at you like you were crazy. Soon enough your mother came running over and shoved you backward, muttering and begging for apologies as she unplugged the stereo and kept you shoved behind her. You couldn’t help but fall on your butt and laugh, rolling around with the horse mask still on.

               “What the absolute fuck,” the green hated one yelled in confusion.

               “I’m SO SORRY, about this you see, they… Ugh! Damn it (y/n) introduce yourself normally for once!” Your mother demanded as she turned back to your rolling around figure. You sat up and sighed, blowing a raspberry at your mother before standing up and pulling your mask off and tossing it onto the couch. The guys all seemed to stare at you, no longer in shock but mostly in confusion.

               “My name is (y/n) and I live here now. I’m kinda gonna go to your high school unless you guys go to a different one. I like to mess with people if you couldn’t tell,” you smiled.

               You could hear one boy in the back losing their shit, and a sudden wave of embarrassment ran over you. Maybe they were laughing at how you looked? Or maybe your joke was really lame? You rubbed your arm nervously, growing embarrassed as the laughing in the back continued.

               “S-Sorry if that joke was really lame,” you muttered. God, you hadn’t even been here for a week and these guys probably thought you were really lame now. Your image at school was going down the shitter faster than you thought it would. Though, it wasn’t like you really cared about your image at school. All you cared about, was not being bullied or picked on, and you were chill with that. If word got around your jokes were old, washed out, or even lame? Well, guess it was time to just yeet back home to where dad lived.

               “Lame? Are you fucking kidding me? That was hilarious! All of their faces? Like ‘what the fuck is going on?’ and then you kissed----pft HAHAHAHAHAHA.” The largest boy in the group was almost doubled over laughing, stopping his feet and holding his stomach as he laughed his heart out.

               “Sorry for our shock we just um.. We didn’t know you would greet us like this, nor did we really know that you were um.. A girl?” Green hat spoke up again, looking around confused.

               “You see, our friend Butters here told us about his run-in with you the other day--.”

               “You scared the Jesus outta me and my parents! I thought I peed my pants,” the blonde cried.

               “You looked like you did when I saw you and your parents run outta here,” you muttered with a small laugh.

               You rubbed the back of your head before sighing, your mother grabbing and pinching your ear out of nowhere caused you to cry and whine, grabbing her wrist and begging her to let you go.

               “Apologize,” she demanded.

               “Ow, FUCK! Okay, I’m sorry!”

               “For what?”

               “For making you make out with the horse mask!” The pudgy one began laughing harder.

               “AND?!”

               “Gah, fuck this hurts! And for scaring you and your parent's blondie, those were fake bongs! It was a MEME—FOR FUCKS SAKE LET ME GO WOMAN IT HURTS!” Your mother sighed, letting you go before making you face her.

               “You will go over there and apologize to his parents. Do I make myself clear?”

               “Yes ma’am,” you groaned. You turned to the boys and hummed.

               “It’s cold out there. You can come in and sit in the living room till I’m dressed and then we can get the old introductions outta the way. As you know, my name is (y/n), have fun waiting for me.”

               You galloped upstairs with a sigh as the boys entered the home and took a seat in the living room or kitchen. You quietly entered your room and hummed, going over to the half-open box of clothes and pulled out whatever was on top. You lazily tossed on a plain t-shirt that wasn’t used for sleeping in, your pair of favorite jeans, and a jacket meant for going out in cold weather. You slipped on a pair of fuzzy and thick socks before grabbing your shoes and slipping them on. You looked in the mirror and lazily fixed your hair so it was presentable and made your way back downstairs. Your mother was quick on her feet to present warm beverages and snacks. You rolled your eyes and shrugged on your coat quickly before stopping at the end of the stairs.

               “Now, you be nice to those people okay? We just got here and I, as a grown adult, would like adult friends not scared off by their kid,” she smiled. You hummed, smiling back and giving her a quick hug as she kissed the top of your head and shoved a plate wrapped in plastic too you. Looking down, you hummed, moms famous baked goods. These won over just about anyone.

               “I promise I will, I love you, I’ll see you when I get home if these guys don’t win me over and show me around town.” You nodded your head toward all the boys who, visibly, looked quite uncomfortable, except for the tubby one. Your mom gave you one last hug before you moved and opened the door, staring the boys down in your own way to tell them it was time to go. As they quickly emptied their cups and thanked your mother for the drinks and snacks, they ushered themselves out before stepping out into the freezing cold.

               As the last one out of the door, you shut it carefully and checked your pocket it for your phone, reaching back inside and jack it form the stereo before declaring you were now ready to go.

               “So, who first? I guess the blonde kid since I made him almost pee his pants in my house,” you smiled. Watching him grow embarrassed and uncomfortable, he rubbed the back of his head nervously while smiling.

               “Everyone calls me Butters, my parents' names are Stephen and Linda. They aren’t angry at you for what you did, but they were, concerned,” he muttered. As you reached up to the front door, you knocked on it softly, quietly tapping your foot and waiting for an answer, deciding it would be a polite thing to do instead of asking Butters to waltz you straight into his home and up to his parents.

               As his parents opened the door, you gave them a shy smile and gave a slight shrug of your shoulders.

               “Sorry Mister and misses….?”

               “Stotch and it really is no problem at all dear. We were just, quite spooked,” Linda spoke with a gentle laugh. Stephen sighed softly before carefully taking the case and looking it over.

               “What is this,” he asked.

               “Oh, those are my mom’s famous baked goods; there are a couple of different ones in there. The cookies are the best. Please, don’t be afraid to come over and talk to my mom, she gets lonely without any friends,” you said with a smile. The two adults simply smiled and thanked you for the apology, explaining that they just had been spooked and wanted to make sure their son wasn’t about to become friends with someone who was an actual drug user. You explained to them the only drug you used was life, and you got mega high off of it. That and your anti-anxiety medication.

               After accepting your gift, everyone turned around and backed themselves onto the sidewalk, the sound of an occasional car going back caused you to shiver at the extra cold wind you didn’t need feeling.

               “Right, so my name is Stan. You know, the one you made make out with the horse mask,” Stan mused with a smile. You gave a few chuckles, apologizing to him now for having that happen before he waved his hand dismissively, explaining how it would be a first meeting he wouldn’t forget.

               “Green hat is Kyle, the tub of lard over there is Cartman, and the orange parka is Kenny. He’s a lady killer, not literally though. He likes to girl hop.”

               “I’m not fucking fat!”

               “Please tell me you aren’t going to do the freshman fifteen,” you muttered while pointing at Kenny. His only response was a smirk and you could only roll your eyes. He suddenly moved in close, grabbing your hands and starring you down with a coy smile on his face.

               “You wouldn’t want to be my first victim, would you,” he muffled. You laughed, easily slipping from his hands and pointing at him.

               “Good joke, but I’m a junior. Soon to be senior my guy,” you hummed. Butters seemed to smile a bit.

               “Well, then that means you’ll be in our graduating class! Oh, I hope that means we can be friends,” Butters spoke. You looked at him confused, suddenly feeling a weird spike of nervousness shoot through your system. You hummed, looking down at the floor and looking at the cracks and holes in the cement beneath your feet. You gave a little kick to some snow before glancing up at all five boys before you before smiling nervously.

               “D-Does this not make us friends..? I’m sorry, I’ve been friends with the same people for so many years,” you blabbered. Oh god, word vomit. You hated it when you began to word vomit. Quickly trying to shut yourself up, you chewed on the zipper on your jacket, grinding it painfully in your mouth to keep yourself from talking again. Stan looked a little surprised before chuckling, suddenly play-punching your shoulder.

               “Of course dude! Oh, that is, if you don’t mind me calling you dude.”

               “Not at all, as long as none of you mind me calling you weird things that relate to the internet and the memes it produces,” you shrugged your shoulders.

               “No, I don’t think we’ll mind at all.”

               “Great, now show me around this dump. Or maybe even new people.”

               Okay, so maybe getting to know people wasn’t going to be such a pain in the ass after all.

[advb16]

Would someone please pack some snacks, take me out to the woods, and shoot me? That way I can at least be useful as food.

Hit some serious milestones(?) recently. And I do mean I just drove head-on into some rocks.

Professional

Just hit my 5 year anniversary of passing the bar. That was a real kick in the face because I just started at a new firm, in a new city, in a new practice area, and I feel just as lost and stupid as I did my first day of practice. Except now, I’m too exhausted to give a fuck and learn all this new law. 

This is all compounded by learning a new file management system that is THE STUPIDEST THING. I’m not allowed to make any new sub-folders, and there is no consistent naming convention. So got a big case? Need to find that one, crucial piece of discovery? Let’s hope you are a Bolean search MASTER. Oh wait, that still won’t work because the search function is garbage.

Anyway. Interestingly, this is a vast improvement from my old job (small-medium firm, small town, family law). What this has made me realize, more so than ever, that I should not have gone to law school, and I would never do it again. With that said, there’s nothing else I’m good enough at doing to make this kind of money. It’s bloody depressing.

Personal

Tl;dr - boyfriend moved at the speed of light for the first three months. I finally bought in, and decided to really go for it with him, and now he’s backing off.

So. 16 weeks ago we went on our first date. We had a pretty intense, instant connection. Talked about the serious stuff, kids, money, careers, life goals, relationship talk, etc. It was a lot. By the second date he said he had stopped talking to other people on dating apps, and wasn’t seeing anyone else. I was in no way ready to be exclusive, but he kept coming for me. Took me a little over a month to agree to be exclusive. Four weeks later he drops the “I love you.” 

Once again, I am stuck being the asshole that has to be all that’s awesome, but I’m not there yet, and I’m not going to lie to you. Which... that fucking sucks. We ended up having a couple freakin’ awesome weekends together, including his birthday weekend (day with his friends, they’re great, then a super chill day with just us, some road tripping, gd magical) and I decided, fuck it. And I say it back. I know I know, “fuck it” doesn’t sound like the right way to go about it, but hear me out.

I was thinking, I have all these feels; maybe it’s love? I haven’t been in a reciprocal, loving relationship in a very long time. He’s doing all the things I want from a partner: communicating, texting me all the time, saying good morning, saying goodnight, very affectionate, great sex (not enough of it, but I guess that’s just being a woman in her 30s dating a man also in his 30s), open about his goals for the relationship and for his life, and open about his struggles. He is seeking a long-term, serious relationship, he has done the emotional growth, or at least started the process, he’s identified those areas where he needs work and is actively tackling those things, he likes his job and has career goals, and he has his finances sorted (he’s not looking for someone to support him). All the things I want, but these alarm bells just keep going off in my head. And keep going off. And keep going off. 

Now, I have to give him so much credit because he engages in the hard conversations. Not only engages when I bring stuff up, but also starts them. And I know I’m exhausted with the new job, and when I’m tired, I am... not great. Now, I won’t bore you with the details, but we end up having some very, very, very heavy conversations, and we discovery that we both feel like we’re failing the other person and ourselves. We both feel like we’re walking on eggshells, like we can’t get anything right, and that we can’t really be ourselves with the other person (fucking sucks, right?!). This is followed by the revelation that by maintaining my deep desire to not be a “burden” I had made him feel unwanted. And when he feels unwanted, he doesn’t see a point in being around (fair). 

So now we’ve had this groundbreaking discovery: he thinks it’s great that I have needs because then he has a job. Look at that! We’re both getting our needs met! It should also be noted, that I perceive the giving of affection as being needy (I’m a very fucked up person; we’ll leave it at that) which meant his need(s) for affection and attention weren’t being met. So in my efforts to make sure I wasn’t burdening him with all my neediness, I was also denying him the expression of the love I allegedly felt for him. Seems silly now, but it was a seriously eye opening moment for me.

Super exciting, right?! We’re on the same page, everything is awesome, we’re now moving forward together, and we’re totally committed to each other and our relationship.

Sidenote: I feel like now is a good time to mention that he has already brought up marriage, on multiple occasions. First time, was one week after our first date when he sent me a meme about being wife material, then in the text said “replace wife with with GF.” Also, he was married previously; divorced about four years ago. In that same conversation with the wife meme, he invited me to join him four months later at a four-day music festival two states away, during which time I would meet his brother, his sister-in-law and his nieces........

Anyway, we’re stupid happy, and I, like the fool of a Took I am, took him at his word that he was all in, this serious, committed relationship is what he wanted etc and I invited him to an old friend’s wedding that’s in about six weeks. His response? “Oh wow. That’s a lot. That’s huge.” To which I responded, I’m sorry. It’s what now? What did I fucking miss?! Then him, “I’m just kind of freaking out.”

what.the.actual.fuck.

So now all my alarm bells are going off again because why the fuck wouldn’t they?! This motherfucker ran immaculate game to get to a place where he is comfortable, and secure, and doesn’t need to move things forward. In fact, he’s doing exactly what I predicted, and told him I was terrified would happen: I hold out, then as soon as I finally open up and commit, you run away. And look! I was right! Exactly as predicted, right on time.

I made the mistake of rereading the first few weeks of our texts. I know people say things, exaggerate, whatever, at the beginning to look good. They do things that aren’t necessarily sustainable, that will fade over time, and reasonably so! But I feel like I’ve had partners at 3 years deep making more of an effort to engage with me and really check-in with me than he is at 3 months deep. For example, we chatted on the phone earlier for a bit, and the entire conversation was him talking about himself. His only reference to me or my well being was a statement along the lines of, “you must just be working.” I don’t need him to drag things out of me, but I use questions to gauge interest. If someone isn’t asking any questions, it’s a pretty good indicator that they aren’t interested in me much less my well-being or the banalities of my day. So if he’s not making an effort to see me (he’s not a planner, but still), he’s not curious about me, and the prospect of a low-key wedding terrifies him, how much do I really mean to him? Is this relationship what he actually wants, or is it what he’s telling himself he’s supposed to want at this stage of life?

Part of me thinks this could be the love of a lifetime, and I definitely want it to be that. Then that part is challenged by the fact that maybe I’m blinded by the blissful moments because if this chucklefuck is getting cold feet at the idea of going to a friend’s wedding around the 6-month mark of dating (he won’t even be meeting my family) after he’s spent the last three months blowing past relationship milestones at 160 mph, then what the actual fuck?

Mental

This circles back to the end of my professional update. 

I have been so fucking depressed. For almost a year now. Got out of a less than healthy relationship, which made things worse for a while because it highlighted some stuff. Got a new job, which is a lot better, but being a lawyer certainly doesn’t help anything. Got a new relationship after dating a lot. And I do mean, a lot.... fuck.... so many first dates. And it’s a good relationship! I mean, when it’s good it is practically perfect, but it has been so much work. I get that anything good requires effort and work, but shit. This has been so heavy from the start.

And it just.... like... why? What am I even doing here? Using clean water and making a giant ass carbon footprint? Just consuming things? I’m not helping. I’m not making the world better. I’m just... here.... and I don’t want to be here. I haven’t wanted to be here for a very long time. My suicidal ideation keeps getting worse. I’ve brought it up to my therapist, but he isn’t super concerned. To be fair to him, I haven’t been completely honest about the severity.... I know! I know... But I can’t stand the thought of disappointing him. We’ve made such incredible progress, and how annoying must I be to come back like, yeah, I beat my night terrors, I beat the cancer, I got the job, got the boy, and I have more than enough of everything, but let me just be a whiny bitch about the meaning of life real quick.

The last couple days have been extra difficult because my platonic life partner, and for the last three years roommate, just moved out. A few months ago I had a full plan. Everything laid out, ready to go, even got halfway through, then stopped because I knew she’d be the one to find me, and I couldn’t do that to her.

Nothing looks the way I thought it would at 32. I’m glad it doesn’t look like what I thought it would at 20, but shit. Even at 30 looking towards 32, it didn’t look like this. It wasn’t this bleak. It didn’t feel this pointless.

I have no idea why I’m putting this on the internet. I think tumblr is the most appropriate place for this kind of into the void scream/crying, so here you go. It also helps to know that no one will read this.

[seasonofthegeek]

Today I went back into my June 2017 art folder and found the doodles on the left I’d done for a kissing meme. I thought it would be fun to go back and redo them to see how I’ve improved (side note: it was not fun. It was frustrating as hell). While I have improved, I still hate where I am. These didn’t turn out the way I wanted them to. I knew what I wanted it to look like in my head but I couldn’t get it down on the paper. It was enough to get me down.

But then I took a deep breath. I’ve made this much progress in a year. I’ve been trying to draw at least a few times a week. I’ve been trying to work on things I know I’m not good at. I’m making an effort and that’s nothing to be ashamed of.

I wanted to share this in case it helps someone else who is struggling with where they are in creating. Even if it might not feel like it, you are improving with each new thing you push yourself to do. 

If I’m still around next June, maybe I’ll try to do this again. See where I am then. Because I want to keep pushing. I want to keep working and trying to improve.

[pantstomatch]

The Tuesday Chat on Wednesday

(1/17/18) 

Official second posting! Still not on Tuesday! Under the cut find: my thoughts and feelings about the wonder that is RPF, suspiciously incoherent ramblings about creating original characters, and then at the end there I talk a little about a few of my favorite fanfic authors.

Anonymous said:  hi!! This question might seem out of the blue but as one of my fave authors, I've always valued your opinion and I just want to hear your thoughts on RPF? TBH, I've always felt a bit... iffy about this but I just joined a fandom whose lead actors have an, IDK, "shippable" bromance?? But then, we do have Louis who finally spoke about the 'Larry' thing, and afjdlasf, I just feel a bit guilty reading RPF fics. :( Thoughts?

Oh, my friend, you have come to the right place! If you haven’t checked out my back catalog, you would not have known that I was in bandom for over 3 years and wrote around 80 fics about real live people.  I’ve been a rabid fangirl of Brendon Urie & Spencer Smith’s undying love. I’ve made Joe Trohman a hobo. I’ve written about Gabe Saporta being a demon. @lissadiane and I invented Mike Carden/Kevin Jonas (just in case anyone forgot that Skippy was a thing).  I’ve poked fun of the purity rings. I’ve put them all—all, EVERYONE—in space. Man, that was a time.

Anyway, here’s my take on it all:

a) they’re famous people. I’m not saying they’re totally fair game, but it’s not like you’re writing steamy hot sex about your neighbor, right? (although would they really know if you were?? I’m not going to judge.) 

b) you don’t shove it in their face (or you definitely shouldn’t). Sharing your thoughts with them about their fictional characters being in love is one thing (although honestly I don’t particularly go for that either), but this is an entirely different animal. That would be creepy and invasive. Some people like to lock their fics, but honestly I was in bandom during the livejournal craze, so other than making it so anons couldn’t comment, it was a little hard to gather an audience if it wasn’t open to the public. There was definitely an oh-shit please don’t google yourself (pete) vibe, but other than that ¯\_(ツ)_/¯.

c) you have to be able to distinguish the real person from the character you’re creating. You’re essentially writing a real life person into a fictional character. You can’t confuse the two. My fanon Brendon Urie was a bouncy little guy afraid of girls, in love with Spencer’s beard, and overly fond of jazz hands.  I’m pretty sure the real Brendon liked to jizz on girl’s faces.  So, you know, essentially completely different people. 

So conclusion: I’m super down with it. Some people aren’t, and that’s totally fine (but should leave off judging people who are).  So it really depends on how much you can look at that person as a character wholly separate from who they really are.

@slightestcomplication said:  Happy T/W chat! You talked a little about this in the writing meme, but I'd love to hear more about your process with regard to characters. Do they stay how you first envision them, or shift as you write? Mike, in Whatever, is such a great and authentic-feeling character - did you know how he would be from the start? 

Characters! Oh man, I love creating characters, it’s my favorite! So most of the time, they stay mainly how I envision them. Mike’s pretty much the same guy he was from the start. I wanted to create a kind of lovable asshole who thinks he’s cooler than he actually is. Basically a deep down decent guy with a lot of problematic quirks. He’s just not as foul-mouthed as I originally made him (apparently there is such a thing as too many ‘fucks’).  

For the most part, I know my characters before I know what the hell the story is going to be. This doesn’t always work out well—I have a bunch of characters in a folder just waiting for a story to resolve around them. On the other hand, I’m up for changing them if I absolutely need to.

I mentioned in last week’s chat that I had to rewrite my latest book 3 (4?) times.  My original editor, the one I had for Whatever, was able to tell me what was and wasn’t working while being great about it. She’s really good at making me see what I already knew, deep down: nothing was working and everything sucked. I couldn’t get the story OR the characters right, mainly because I had been working on it so long I didn’t want to. So she had me start over with a first person journal. I wrote until I could get the main character’s voice right in my head and THEN I started the story again. Same premise, better dude: all the angles changed. It was a totally different book.

So then what happens is that my editor goes on maternity leave, and I’m passed off to someone else. She’s super nice and helpful, but our editing is slow going. She wasn’t sure how I’d react criticism & major changes, and knows some authors hate getting their stuff edited too much—she was going soft on me. She openly admitted it in a phone call, in which essentially I was like: dude, rip me apart, I have absolutely no idea what I’m doing 90 percent of the time.  

We ended up cutting an entire chapter, an entire character, making another one meaner (she still might not be mean enough), and basically doing a bunch of stuff that a more possessive author might balk at. 

I’m attached to my guys, don’t get me wrong, but sometimes I gotta collect my guys in a little boxed room and give them snuggies and water bottles and let them wait it out while they try on various different hats.

From @drgrlfriend: favorite fanfic authors.

There are SO MANY, and this is just a very few amount, and I tend to hang on to older ones I’ve known for a couple fandoms:

@rageprufrock – her stuff is a delight. A delight. Most especially all the SGA stuff, like the mummy au and the one where they all watch an alien soap opera  or John gets pregnant or the one with the stitch and bitch.  Also: McDonald Hall fic. 

lilysaid – my favorite popslash writer, though she’s mostly closed up shop and you can find her stuff on the wayback machine.  Her fic beyond reproach is nostalgically my favorite fic of all time, and one of the only ones I’ve ever printed out for my bedside table.

@lissadiane – what is a favorite author list without my writing buddy? Some of you may know her from Harry Potter for breaking hearts with Beautiful World   (Cinnamon), or because she wrote a truly wonderful Kevin Jonas (little mermaid IN SPACE or the Robin Hood au)  (starflowers), or because she made Stiles see ghost animals and bleed magic and go to Hogwarts. Also PUNISHER AU. She’s just all around wonderful basically.

@mklutz – who wrote one of my favorite hockey RPFs  (hockey RPFs are my secret weakness), also wrote some of my favorite TW fics, and also also SGA, and a story about witches. 

harriet_vane – mostly because of the Forever, Now series, but also a little bit because of the Negotiation Limerick File. 

@astolat – The only author that could get me to read Transformers fic.  Probably.

I could go on, but I won’t, because it’s late and the dogs want to go to bed and cats are hovering ominously. Happy Wednesday everyone!

[aftgonice]

11 questions tag

I was tagged by a lot of people, I kept this in the drafts for weeks and just kept adding questions since they’re always different, so thank you for tagging me and sorry if this post is long (I’ll just put it under keep reading).

Also it might be that I forgot or missed someone who tagged me so if that’s the case I’m sorry I’m not ignoring you I promise!

Rules: 1. Always post the rules 2. Answer the questions given by the person who tagged you 3. Write 11 questions of your own 4. Tag 11 people

Questions by @severeminx

You are hosting a dinner party and can invite 5 historical figures. Who would they be? Mozart, Da Ponte, Aristotle, Lucretius, Marie Skłodowska

What was your favorite cartoon as a kid? probably Pokémon!

What’s your signature drink when going out? Japanese ice tea

Do you have any tattoos? If not, would you like to? i don’t have any and i also don’t think i’ll ever find something that i want on my skin permanently, but we’ll see if we get there i guess

Who was your favourite classmate when you were 16? oh god...thank god this didn’t ask when i was 17 lmao...anyway my fav classmate was my then-BFF. there were also a couple of girls i really found interesting but i guess it wasn’t reciprocated so they always only hung out with a bigger group and being the shy person i am i couldn’t let myself try to be friends with them

How did you meet your best friend? we were in kindergarten together lol, but we didn’t talk (play??) much. then we were in different classes during elementary school but we got in the same class again in middle school and that’s where we became friends

Do you like going to museums? What is the art style you want to check out the most? okay i’m going to admit this here. i like museums, okay? but i’d rather see something like a natural history museum or something like that, honestly i’m a big science nerd and i don’t get as excited about art i guess. but i do go to art museums when visiting cities and i actually find them really interesting, but if i’m just in my town and there’s some temporary art exhibition i just don’t really care about going unless it’s something suuuuper famous :/// i feel like a lot of people will hate me for this buT LISTEN SCIENCE IS IMPORTANT GUYS

What feature or quality do you get complimented on the most? are we talking physically?? people like my hair and my nails I guess. If we’re talking personality-wise then idk, they tell me I’m good at listening (which I admit) and my bff told me he thinks I’m brave and I guess I understand why he said it but honestly I still don’t believe it

What is the most romantic place you have ever visited? I’m not sure because since watching YOI the only romantic place on earth for me is Barcelona and I haven’t been there yet lmao. The places I’ve been to aren’t exactly romantic so I don’t know

What would you define as ‘magical’? That thing that your mind does after 1 or 2am when it becomes more loose without needing drugs but it just gets high on lack of sleep and you’re suddenly really talkative and funny and you can have really deep conversations with people and your jokes are honestly on fucking point and you wish you were like that during the day

What is the most expensive item of clothing you have ever bought and was it worth it? I honestly don’t know oh my god. Probably the suit (pants + blazer) I bought a few years ago and that’s still good and whenever I have to be dressed in a “serious and elegant” way that’s what I go for. So yeah it was worth it.

Questions by @yakoucchu

 The piece of makeup that you always wear. i don’t always wear it but if i wanna put on a bit of something then it’s definitely gonna be mascara + lipstick (or colored lip balm) because I think they both make a ton of difference. Actually now in summer I almost always have colored lip balm from Lush because it’s too humid to be wearing mascara and I don’t feel like wearing a waterproof one lol

If you’re gonna be the author of your favorite series, what are you gonna change in it? well that would be a spoiler lmao but i guess i’d make someone who died in it live

There’s a fact that is happened to you and it makes you heart warming a lil bit when you think about it? you mean besides YOI and captive prince? cuz that’s all i can think about lol (there’s more but i’m being lazy with my answer sorry)

 Someone have ever done something that we can define crazy for you? yeah when my bf first came to visit me and we met for the first time (because we met online)

Do you like your current occupation? i’m unemployed but i’m “working” on being able to find a job soon but tbh i have food and a roof on my head and i’m needing this time of doing nothing but trying to take care of myself so i wouldn’t say i like this but it’s all i can do now

Smoothies, or Milkshakes? smoothies

What’s the thing that you love the most about yourself? hsrghsghshgshgsh most difficult question ever tbh. i like that i’m...rational? yeah rational 

The most strange thing that you ever tried to eat grossed you out? ummmmmmmmmm watch me get a lot of hate for this but....................................................sushi grosses me out and i almost puked when i tried it

Are you ever tried to write something, and after a while giving it up? Why? i did, a lot of things actually. i had an idea for a fic that i realized was going to do me more harm than good so i had to ditch the idea. there are things i know i could write but they’re too personal and still too raw so idk if i ever will write them. other WIPs are just there in my folder for no other reason that I either lost inspiration or that they’re honestly fucking hard to write and I still don’t have all the plot 

How do you feel right not? If I said to you “you’re doing great” it can change something? i’m struggling to keep my shit together. and yes, it changes something so thank you a lot for telling me that :) <3

What’s your favorite movie? idkkkkkk i rarely watch movies but of the latest ones i guess interstellar

Questions by @crescendotayuri 

1. what’s one thing you could never live without? my phone lmaoooooo so cliche

2. what’s your favorite part of your daily routine? probably right after managing to get out of bed, the moment i finally sit down for breakfast with a croissant and a cappuccino (typical italian breakfastTM)

3. what are you most passionate about? ...yuri on ice and captive prince and lgbt+ rights and the environment

4. what’s the best dream you’ve ever had? I don’t really know but sometimes I dream that I become internet-famous and it’s really sad that this is literally one of the best dreams I have lmao

5. happiest memory? I have a few but one of them is seeing Florence and the Machine live (i have others but they’re a bit too personal so idk)

6. are there any videos/jokes/etc that never fail to make you laugh? oh god yes........i’m so lame but like any meme will have me laugh tbh. kermit meme? i laugh. dude blinking meme? i laugh. spongebob meme? i laugh. i could go on lmao but i’ll stop embarrassing myself. there’s also a few comics that I have saved on my phone and they never fail to make me laugh but it’d be hard to explain them here

7. one talent you with you had/could perfect? it’s never been my wish to be able to draw but now that i’m into fandom i guess i would like to be able to do it at least a little. and i wish i could perfect my writing (or at least perfect my English at a native speaker level so it’d be easier)

8. a song you relate to the most? Help I’m alive - Metric

9. how do you take your coffee/tea? i only have cappuccino or latte macchiato and only rarely espresso. get american coffee out of my sight. tea is earl grey usually without milk bc i mostly use tea (without sugar) to stop me from wanting dessert lmao but if i’m feeling like it i’ll take it with milk bc it’s too good

10. what do you do to make yourself feel better when you’re sad or upset? i rewatch yoi or go on twitter and hope there’s some good memes but i trust my squad so yeah usually there’s something

11. what makes you proud of yourself? being a decent person despite everything

Questions by @pllsetskyonice:

1. What’s a song you can’t get enough of at the moment? AAAA it’s too hard to choose one! Just one yesterday by Fall Out Boy and literally every song from Lorde’s Melodrama

2. If someone asked you for a book recommendation, what’s the one book you would recommend? The question is trickyyyy because obviously not all books are for everyone especially if we’re talking about stuff with major trigger warnings etc etc but if I have to say I’ll just go with my fav trilogy Captive Prince (granted I’m talking to an adult) but I’ll leave it to them to decide if they’re up to reading it or not

3. Do you play any musical instruments? Nope :( used to play the piano and then stopped like the idiot I am, but I sing

4. Book or movie? Book

5. Do you ever wish you could turn back time? Eh. I guess.

6. Favourite subject in school? Science in whatever form it came (it was different things every school year but it doesn’t matter if it’s geology chemistry or w/e I’m just a huge science kid)

7. You’ve been given tickets to a concert for an artist you’ve always wanted to see live but never had the chance to. Who are you seeing? Maybe Marina and the Diamonds but there’s so many oh my god I also wouldn’t mind seeing Florence again but I’ve already seen her.......oh wait LORDE YES LORDE probably if I had to choose right at this very moment

8. Is there an accessory you don’t feel dressed without? Not really

9. Have you ever been to a festival? I’m not sure what kinda festival you mean but I think not

10. Have you read all of the original seven Harry Potter books? Yeah but still not in English oops

11. What’s the last film/TV show you watched? Last film was Beauty and the Beast when it came out lmao I’m not a huge movie person, last TV show mmmh let’s say that YOI counts for this yes? because it’s always YOI and I don’t feel like watching anything else rip

My questions:

If you were a character in the last book you’ve read, what would be your role? Protagonist, side kick, villain...?

What’s your biggest pet peeve when reading a book or watching a show/anime/movie? (if you can’t only name one feel free to name a few)

Do you consider yourself to be a creative person?

Describe one person in your life you admire without mentioning the type of relationship you have with them

What’s one personality trait you’d give up immediately if you could?

Think of the farthest place you’ve traveled to and describe one culture shock you had while there (even something small)

What’s the one thing that always manages to motivate you?

What would you tell your 10 year old self?

What’s your favorite trope?

If your BFF tells you (lovingly) “why are you like this?” what are they referring to?

Are you scared of something right now? If you are, what’s one sentence you wish someone would tell you about the thing that scares you?

I tag: @betelxeuse @ilgattopatata @ehsocietypretendstoomuch @otayurl @argentoheart @nerily @janiedean @robb-greyjoy @laurent-rose @dotingdamen @venenix but obviously feel free not to do it (but if you do tag me bc I love reading your answers) fdklahrgag I hope I don’t get annoying with all these tags

[mychristopherstokes66world]

but the problem is that they're ALL connected. There's no ONE starting point to narrow in on and build a case from the ground up. NXIUM is connected to Fiji water which is connected to the Bromfmans which are connected to the DNC which is connected to Libya and Syria which is connected to CEMEX which is connected to the Trilateral Commission and CERN, which is of course connected to the US Government and its private sector investors like First Principles Inc which financed NXIVM and so on and so forth. Then other MKULTRA shit like Tavistock, Manson, Hubbard popped up and they had a relationship with Jet Propulsion Laboratories which was connected to Steve Paddock and then my bells really started ringing.  My thesis is that the totality of their connections IS the one thing that is worth narrowing in on. Once the broad relationships are established then it will be much easier to explain the smaller details of who does what and where they fit in the hierarchy. Before we found Comet Ping Pong we needed the Wikileaks to break pizzagate, and once the connections were in place regarding David Brock, John Podesta and James Alefantis, Comet Ping Pong was an inevitable discovery. I will, one day. It's just truthfully too much to do at once, and people will ignore the information overload. And inevitably I'll get a couple minor details wrong, I'm already finding out so much today that I didn't know before, I'm by no means an expert. But I think the other thread does a good job of connecting them but you have to do the work yourself to see it. I get that normies won't, so that's why I'm trying to build to that point but I don't know if we're there yet.  For example, I had no idea Manson's lawyer had any affiliation with Tavistock or any of this shit. I just briefly mentioned Manson because I was talking about the occult methods of mind control and I knew he was connected to Jack Parsons. That triggered another anon to dump a bunch of information on Manson's background that I never knew about. And that process has repeated itself over and over through the past two threads so I have faith that the connections will become more and more apparent the more we dig into it

mkultra programs never ended

now they have super ultra advanced tech which can literally fuck up our brains

Finally some people who will appreciate this information. Check out this patent that was filed by Keith Rainere

http://bit.ly/2FtCMxQ

http://bit.ly/2ZJkdgU

>Determination of whether a luciferian can be rehabilitated

This goes so much deeper than sex. Do you really think the satanic elites need a cult to acquire underage sex slaves? Absolutely not, they can get whatever they desire on demand. They don't need Keith or his cult for sex slaves. What they need from Keith is the information from his Mind Control experiments. 

Due to the restrictions placed on the State after the Freedom of Information act, secret government programs like MK Ultra and Monarch Programming had to be transferred to the private sector where citizens can't legally sue for declassified information. I believe that NXIVM is sponsored by the CIA's private sector affiliates and is a front for running experiments on using sex to brainwash people and turn them into compliant citizens. This would help explain any connection between Rainere, Alefantis, Podesta and the Clintons. NXIVM is a government mind control program, not just a simple sex cult. Keith Rainere is a Crowley-like magician who uses physical and mental stimuli to reprogram people according to his desires. This manifests right now as "Have sex with Keith" but it could easily spiral into "Kill this person for me" the way Manson did (who was also a chaos magician likely affiliated with the government and L Ron Hubbard and Jack Parsons, but that's a different story).

Thomas Petersen Co-Founder at First Principle worked on a project called Ghostnote: "Already one of the most talked about productivity apps. Featured on ProductHunt. Ghostnote adds contextual notes to almost anything on your mac. Add notes & todos to folders, applications, open documents, even websites. Think about it as post-it-notes for your OS."

Website: http://bit.ly/1F4PIk1 (visually very similar to First principle LLC website)

I am not really tech litterate but I wonder if it could have been used as a backdoor/spy app.

wo concurrent conversations, I know, but here's another doozy. David Attenborough and Cemex own a nature reserve together. Are you telling me that one of the world's worst polluters and the Bono of nature shows have a private patch of land where the elite can party away from the prying eye of plebs? Not bad for a Mexican cement company.

https://thedevilman666.blogspot.com/https://www.facebook.com/groups/qanonreports https://twitter.com/CIACLOWN1 https://www.bitchute.com/channel/ciaclown16661 It doesn't matter what you call it, manipulation of mental realities through language, glyphs and rituals is a real science that is being employed to make us feel powerless, anxious, and dependent on the stimuli that the elite feed us to control our personalities.  Chaos Magic has a uniquely Crowleyan focus on ritual, but it's based on the same Hermetic principles of the Mind that Gnostics and alchemists study. The author of the Secret describes it as "Mental Alchemy". Magic is the manipulation of perceived reality through your Will. Hermeticists believe that the All is Mental in nature, so if you can change a person's mind then you can change their physical reality as well. It's more complicated then that, but you know the basics. Funny enough, The All is Mental is the FIRST PRINCIPLE of the Hermetic Kyballion. It's neither a good or bad thing, no more than "technology" can be considered an evil thing. The principles exist and can be manipulated. Meme magic is right hand path white magic, that seeks to use these principles defensively in order to protect our fragile sense of personhood from psychic warfare. The elites, gnostics, Masons, Jews, satanists, whatever you want to call them, want to use these principles to apply left hand path BLACK MAGIC to control OTHER people. Right = Defensive, Left = Offensive. The government has cozied up with occultists in the past, but they've demystified the process by applying the scientific method. What we are now witnessing is black magic on the grandest scale ever seen - Collective Mass Hypnosis thanks to the likes of Rainere and the other DOD experiments Rainere connects to.  There's also ritual sacrifice, Goetia, and Theurgy but I wouldn't describe that as much as magic as I would Summoning. If you play D&D, it's the difference between a Wizard and a Warlock.  Speaking of the Secret, it was first popularized by Oprah who we now know was in deep with John of God

rst Principle LLC is located at: 1012 Pennsylvania Avenue Southeast Washington, DC 20003 United States https://www.bloomberg.com/profile/company/0854192D:US When you type this address in a serach engine you end up with AMC Hawk & Associates ,Business Management Advisor in Washington. The weird thing is it seems they dissapear suddenly 3 years ago from a review (pic related) >Magic is the manipulation of perceived reality through your Will Yeah, that's not magic. That's Crowley. The whole will thing he stole from Nietzsche. Nietzsche said the will to mach...later translated after WW2 as "will to power". But German "Mach" is where we get our word machine, to craft. Nietzsche was saying all things that exist have a will to self creation or self preservation as forms, atoms, stars, life, planets... so on. NOW FOLLOW CLOSELY: The ORIGINAL meaning for "magic", it's etymology, was "craft". It came out of the pre-Persian medes culture. They were light worshipers who use to burn sorcerers alive. Zarathustra created Zoroastrianism and said all the gods were fake or more like angels/demons and there is only one god, the Lord of Wisdom (Ahura Mazda) and his symbol is light/fire. But real magic is creative works or craft. This can include: >art >masonry >metallurgy >science/tech of any kind >music >creating religions >story telling  And so on... In ancient times someone who could pull metal out of the ground and make a sword was seen as doing the work of the gods, "magical" and as it became more widespread if became 'common' or not "high magic". So "black magic" = deception, illusion, cult indoctrination... in modern times it's know as black propaganda. Christianity is black magic.  And "white magic" = creativity, technology, arts and crafts, building society, philosophy. In fact philosophy came out of a rejection of the corrupted Zoroastrian magi priesthood of the Greek's enemy Persia. 

 Nobody saw this video the last two threads, but you guys need to see it. If you do really care about this thread, then don't scroll past this video. Back it up and keep it some where. Somebody posted the interior image of this building before but it was empty. Now we see it with scantily clad children retrieving water (?) from separate sinks and pouring it onto the flat circle in the center. I know this video had big significance, but I don't know to what yet since I never saved the image of this room when I saw it, and I should have.

"Will power symbolism" is straight up gnostic escapism bullshit that came out of Christian mysticism (aka Alexandria Egypt and the gay christian-judeans who were fighting with the NeoPlatonists elite because they feared Christianity, so some Christians created an alternative to D&C the elite culture of Alexandria and the philosophy schools). Paul writes to them in 1stCorenthians because they're practicing orgies, incest, and money scams. Pizzagate 101 http://bit.ly/2ZCTTou #Spiritcooking http://bit.ly/2FtKHv7 Newfag rundown on the players http://bit.ly/2ZBT5Am It all started with Hawaii bro and secret pedo media distribution bunker http://bit.ly/2FqV8Q0 Comet ping pong connection http://bit.ly/2ZD308A Comet ping pong was hacked during the election and Anons found this download portal but couldn't get further http://bit.ly/2Fu3KoV On a separate page Anons found pizza menu items in detail http://bit.ly/2ZGh6WX And these pictures. They've essentially been completely blacked out. NSFL http://bit.ly/2FtCKGe Comet ping pong false flag shooter http://bit.ly/2ZD2VBO http://bit.ly/2FwWits #Elsagate rundown http://bit.ly/2ZLt1CH The CIA has been running child trafficking rings since the beginning. Definitely NSFL  http://bit.ly/2FqD9Jl They've been threatened before and they killed a sitting senator and her husband http://bit.ly/2ZLt2qf It's all about the adrenochrome http://bit.ly/2FtJOCO Justin Beiber snaps because he was pimped out http://bit.ly/2ZLt3dN Child actress Heather Orourkes, 5, raped to death by Hollywood executives. http://bit.ly/2FqV7vq Sex trafficking of children on YouTube http://bit.ly/2ZD2XJW More #pizzagate http://bit.ly/2Fs8Gus http://bit.ly/2ZLt4OT http://bit.ly/2FtCKWK http://bit.ly/2ZEV7jd http://bit.ly/2FuNeVK Tony Podesta smocking Trump tweet http://bit.ly/2ZEV7zJ Anderson Cooper slips up, #pizzagate http://bit.ly/2FsxDpO Israel children farming http://bit.ly/2ZD2YO0 Allister Crowley and human sacrifice http://bit.ly/2Fur2Lp

Raniere is tied in with the DoD through various people and businesses. To understand it better, take a look into his schooling. He's 'private sector', of course it's a step further. Look at all of the patents he holds. I only linked the ones I thought to be most interesting, some patents were repeats of patents he already had which I thought was odd.

[idyllic-studies]

Tips for High School Freshmen!

Hey y’all! Since I am going to be a Sophmore next year, and since most of you are going into high school next year, I thought I’d give some long but helpful, tips to incoming freshmen a bit early! I’ve compiled nearly a whole bunch, and I may add to this ‘masterpost’ more. I’m gonna be telling you how I nearly failed my first year so that you don’t have to! (sarcasm intended)

Note: These tips are based solely on my experiences (everyone’s experience might be a little different), what I’ve heard from other people, and other useful tips I found here.

Take time to research which high school you want to go to. Take some time to do some research on all the high schools around your area, too. Every high school is different, and one may have more pros than cons. Take the time you need to near the end of 8th grade to do that. (before you choose for your classes!!)

Choose what school you want to go to, not where your friends want you to go. It does not mean you have to go to the same high school to be with your friends in order to survive high school! No! Not at all ! Remember, going into high school is like starting middle school all over again. Everything is completely brand new.. Which means that this is time for a new beginning. This is like a fresh new start for you, and everyone else. Your friends might choose to go to a different school than you, and that’s okay! All my friends from middle school and I completely separated paths, and it’s completely okay. Besides, you’re doing this for you, not for them.

Don’t take Marching Band unless you’re really up for the challenge. (And this is important!) I am a band geek too, so I understand how tempting Marching Band sounds when you hear all about it during Symphonic Band, but Marching Band is a lot harder than you think it is. Marching Band takes a lot of effort and dedication. Really, really, really, ask yourself this: Do I have the time to do this? Am I willing to give this my all? I was a part of the drumline (woohoo, percussion!) but I was not prepared for this. At all. It felt like crap and it was harder than I thought it was. For me, Percussion had to practice 3 days a week instead of 2 days, like the whole band! (so one extra day just for DL) It was fucking exhausting and all I wanted to do was go home and sleep. First of all, there’s Band Camp that takes place during most of the summer, so you have to dedicate your summer to a few weeks of hell. Then Marching Band takes place around August-November-ish (depends where you are), and it will take place immediately the moment you start school. And also, FOOTBALL GAMES. (ugh makes me wanna gag the moment I think about it) LOTS AND LOTS OF FOOTBALL GAMES AND HOME-AWAY GAMES IN OTHER PLACES. So yeah, you get the point. I think that’s the most common misconception freshmen have when they join Marching Band - they have NO IDEA how HARD it really is. I think people really underestimate how much DEDICATION AND TIME it really takes!! “Oh, it’ll be easy and fun!!”, that’s never the case. Where I live, you’re supposed to have 1 Fine Arts credit in order to graduate, and this was not worth it for me. It may seem like a good idea to take Marching Band your first year to get it over with, but you can always earn your Fine Arts credit some other class. And besides, you can take it some other year if you really like Band! Just please, please ask yourself again if this is a really good idea. Remember, your mental and physical health matter the most and is your #1 priority, but Marching Band takes away lots of that. Last thing you want to do is destroy all that. All I want you for you to do is take care of what’s most important, which is your health ❤️

Take as many AP courses as you can!! (Do not take 3 or 4 however, or else you will get fucked in the ass!) Only take as much as you think you can, not however many your high school offers for you. You do not need to take them all! I did not take any AP courses at all during my freshman year, and lemme just say it was a DISASTER. I only took Honors classes, which was hell for me because I thought I could only handle those (since I was balancing Marching Band at the same time). I just wasn’t challenging myself hard enough. I only took Honors classes because I thought they were easy. WRONG. I was surrounded by a bunch of idiots ([insert meme here]) and annoying classmates in those classes (which was every single one of them including Band lmfao). I was just surrounded by a bunch of negative people all the time, and not a whole lot of positive people (which we need more of by the way!) and that weighed me down a lot. Honestly, I think that taking AP classes are worth it. Yes, it may sound like a lot of work being thrown at you, but at least you’re not experiencing the annoying classmates as I did! I honestly don’t think people in AP classes are all that annoying but idfk since I’ve never been in an AP class. But I think you’ll be fine because I think they will be as mentally challenged as you if you ever decide on taking an AP course.

Get all the easy credits out of the way first! I have no words for this one. Just do it. It’s gonna be a lot easier for you in the hard run.

Take extracurricular activities and/or join clubs! You’ll meet new people and doing something extra in the day can be rewarding and you’ll feel happier! Don’t feel obligated to do this, though. If you just can’t, then it’s understandable.

Go to Freshmen Orientation! Ugh... i know... I hate the though of it too. But honestly, just go because it’s very informative and you get a feel around your new high school, and just meeting new people you’re going to be in school with in general. Also, even though it sounds like a total waste of time, it’s not really that true. Time flies by fast, and you’ll be out of there the moment you know it.

Buy school supplies early! I cannot tell you how reliving and happy it makes me feel to have accomplished school shopping to get it over with. I like to take advantage of the opportunity months before I even start the new school year! Most stores will be sold out of items or they’ll just barely have anything else left to buy if you choose to wait ‘til last minute.

Make sure your phone is charged and set your alarm clock the night before the first day. Honestly, this goes for any day, everyday.

Bring a couple sheets of paper, a folder, and a pencil/pen on the first day. You do not want to be bringing everything like unnecessary binders the first day. You’re not going to be doing a whole lot, except getting class syllabuses. You do not want to be breaking your back.

Bring water. I always find water useful whenever I’m feeling nervous or anxious, and it’s also just good to keep along with you in case if you get dehydrated.

Carry a map alongside you, or else you’ll be very very lost.

It’s okay to not know what you’re doing on the first day! Every freshman is confused as you are, so you’re not the only one who is nervous and anxious. It’s completely okay to make mistakes! Everybody learns from their mistakes. (I got lost knowing where to go for Algebra 2 too lmfao. Lesson learned) Everyone is just as nervous as you are, so just take a deep breath and say, “Let’s do this.”

Don’t be afraid to ask for help! It’s okay to get lost and not know where you’re going the first day, so just find someone, like your principal or assistant principals, and ask them. My principal and assistant principals were there to help any of the freshmen who were lost.

Don’t sweat the small stuff! Take a lot of deep breaths, drink water, and just think, “I’ll be able to make it through the day!” because you can and will :)

**Sit in the front!!!!** Sitting in the back SUCKS. The (annoying) kids in the back always talk and it’s vvv distracting, so do yourself a favor and sit close to the front if you don’t like noise or distractions.

Wash your face w/ warm water if you’re feeling tired. I got this hack from my Aunt, who says that warm water is best to feel refreshed and up for the day.

**Stand up for yourself if you’re getting bullied.** I can’t stress this enough either. Stand 👏 up 👏 to 👏 the 👏 bully 👏 Tell your teacher, tell an adult (especially assistant principals and principal, they’re really helpful), tell anyone you know. Talk to the counselor, and if that doesn’t work, go to a therapist. Talk to your parents and friends, too, so that they know what’s going on (don’t if they’re no help to you either). You can’t keep this to yourself. I’ve been a victim of bullying numerous times throughout my entire life, and I did all those things. There were times I kept it all to myself, and all it did was make it worse because I exploded one day, like a bottle. I always ended up going to the counselor because I knew I needed some help. Please, please, please tell someone.

Make friends! This is super hard if you’re a super shy person like me. Honestly, just try it! It doesn’t hurt to! They’re probably as scared and nervous for the first day as you are, so just talk to them and ease the tension for them and yourself too by making a new couple of buddies.

It’s not the end of the world if you don’t have any friends. Ok... so the world went against you and you have a hard time making friends your first year. I did not make any friends at all during my first year. However, when I learned that it was okay, I started to feel a lot better. Not having any friends doesn’t make you a lonely person. You’ll eventually make some friends, if not, in the later years of high school. There’s always hope.

**You don’t have to stick with your friend group from middle school.** Don’t feel pressured to. Ever.

Go on the RIGHT side of the hallway. Don’t be a fucking idiot and drive everyone mad by going the wrong direction! You do not want to be doing that lmfao. Do not stop in the middle of the hallway too! You’ll be in the way and I don’t want you to do that asfsjfsvfdkl. Do not be super slow either! You’ll cause a lot of traffic. The hallway’s a sign for you to get a move on, not a place for a long chit-chat. It’s like... real-life traffic. Don’t run either! You’ll get yelled at. Also, don’t stop to just talk to your friends. You can do that another time. What you need to do is get!!1!! to!!!!!1 class!!!!!1111

Find an alternative way to get to class besides the hallway. The hallway’s just a fucking hellhole with busy traffic, and it irritates me so much.

It’s okay to fail. I can not stress this enough. It’s okay. I completely messed up my freshman year. Let’s just say.... things happened, and I had to convert to online courses and then homeschool for the rest of the semester. It’s okay to fall on your feet, but you’ll eventually get back up on them again. Adjust/change something if you need to (Whether it be easier classes, different school bc it wasn’t working out for you, different classes, etc.) It’s not your fault, and it never will be.

Don’t procrastinate. Practice good habits and get rid of bad habits.

Sleep early. This one’s pretty obvious. Change your sleep schedule to practice sleeping earlier than you’re used to, though it takes several weeks to get into habit of this. Practice this habit weeks before you go into school.

Don’t pull all-nighters. Unless if it’s absolutely necessary, don’t. You’ll feel horrible in the morning because you stayed up all night. Your health is always first.

Wake up at least 1 or 2* hours before school. And this is a rule of thumb. I’m that type of person to wake up when my alarm rings, but then I just get back into bed and sleep again until it’s 1 hour left ‘til school. I feel all groggy and gross and tired every time I do this. *2 hours is recommended from me because 1 hour still makes me feel like shit.

It’s better to study in the morning. I’m not sure if this is exactly true because I heard that memorizing things when you study at night are not as good when you do it in the morning because you’ll forget easier.

If you don’t finish homework at night, then just finish it in the morning. If you have time in class, if time permits, then do it.

Take breaks when you’re doing homework or studying. When I do homework for a long period of time without any breaks, my mind starts to get boggled and cloudy like I can’t do anything anymore (and I get stressed out very easily). That’s why I take a break every 30 minutes or so. So just take breaks when you need to, but not for too long.

It’s okay to take a mental health day if you’re not feeling well. Just make sure your mental health day is productive or something; it doesn’t have to be homework, just something productive as long as you’re doing something beneficial.

Don’t be an asshole. No one likes a bully, it’s just sad. If high school is a place for you to completely change everything about you and become a completely different person just “faking it”, just because it’s a fresh new start, you’re doing it wrong. Assholes are shit, and my high school is full of them. Just be your fucking self.

Don’t get involved in any drama. Ugh. Drama is not there for any reason, and it’s not your fucking business. I hate it whenever I see a crowd of people recording a fight, or any other necessary drama. Just don’t do it because I feel like this is what it’s come to in this generation, and it’s fucking stupid.

Be yourself! Just be yourself, honestly! 

Be nice to everyone. Teachers, classmates, school staff,  upperclassmen, seniors, everyone.

Get to know your teacher and ask questions about them. Don’t wanna make them your worst enemy.

Don’t be afraid to ask questions! If you’re really stuck on something, then just ask your teacher! Your teacher is there to help you and to help you succeed.

Have a study buddy or join a study club. Try to find at least one person in every single of your classes to copy homework from or study with. (Or don’t..?) Also, if you’re looking for some study clubs or networks, there’s a ton of them on here! :)

If you’re the type to not like a noisy lunchroom, go to a quieter place for lunch instead. It doesn’t always have to be in the lunchroom, and that’s one of the pros of high school. Don’t like your new quiet place? Then just find another one! I just ate in my math teacher’s classroom everyday because I don’t like eating in lunchrooms. At all.

Don’t eat the school lunches ? ???? Idk about this one, honestly. My friend bought something in school one time and had extreme diarrhea. I don’t know. It honestly tastes so bad, but if you’ve *supposedly* forgotten your lunch at home, I guess you can buy something to eat instead? School lunch doesn’t seem that appetizing to me, so I bring my own lunch.

Oh my god. Please don’t skip classes at all? Why do people do this at my school constantly? It’s just fucking stupid. If you don’t have a good reason to, then just don’t do it from the start! If you just wanna hang out with your friends that way or whatever the fuck excuse you make up, it’s dumb. Just ask your teacher if you’ve got something really important to do (like a project or test in another class and you need to go), or other homework you need to do (if you want peace and quiet, I suggest the library).

Support your school in any way you can! Football games, any sports game in general, theater productions, band concerts, etc. (Band concerts are so fun fyifyi) Tell me about it. You name ‘em all. But of course, don’t feel pressured to just because people are trying to persuade you into doing so.

You don’t need coffee to stay alive in the morning. It’s a literal drug lol (jk). Don’t depend so much on coffee; it’s probably not healthy and it probably doesn’t solve your morning fatigue.

Don’t date Seniors or Juniors! Oh my god!!! I get baffled every time I hear someone do this! Everyone tells you this!!!! Can’t stress about this one either! They’re probably gonna go to college soon anyways, so what’s the point of dating them in the first place? I feel like when freshmen date upperclassmen, it’s not for the dating. It’s... probably something else.

Don’t feel pressured to go to Homecoming or Prom. It’s kinda obvious when people try to convince you to go to either of these things but honestly, you don’t have to go! If you think it’s fun to go or whatever, then go with your friends! it honestly doesn’t have to necessary be your crush or somebody else.

Don’t feel pressured to try sex/drugs/parties/any other sort of suspicious bullshit. You are you, and pressure is the last thing you want to do to yourself. Just don’t! I can assure you that you can survive through high school without having to do any of these things.

Don’t feel pressured to do anything in general. Peer pressure, too. It’s so hard to remain at least normal and sane through high school, but I know you can listen to what your heart wants, not what the people around you want. Don’t give into them, and don’t pay attention to them at all, or feed them what they want. Ignore them. You don’t have to change yourself for anyone, ever. 

Don’t try to fit in, it’s uncool and it’s vv typical to think that fitting in and being “popular” is how “it works” or to “make friends”; that’s not the case.

You don’t need to be dating to feel happy? There’s lots of people who are single and are just doing fine. Honestly, don’t need a man to feel happy.

Just in general, don’t put all your textbooks or binders in your backpack everyday. Your locker exists for a reason.

If you know someone who can drive, ask them to take you a ride home everyday. It’s a lot less troublesome than walking home or taking the bus.

If you’re learning how to drive, don’t learn from your family. This is strict advice from my parents and I. It’s really difficult to learn from any of your family members because they can be really strict about driving and how to drive the right way, etc. They’ll just be really frustrated if you don’t get something right. Take drivers’ ed. Friends are an option too. (Idk) Learning from someone completely different makes it easier because they’re not yelling at you and all that.

Own a planner! Planning makes everything go smoother... And the satisfaction I get from just listing down tasks and checking them off when I’m done with them is so worth it.

Bullet journal! Second option if normal planners just don’t work out for you. They’re very flexible and adaptable to use. And if you get bored from using the same layout, you can always decorate a new one! It’s super easy and simple to do.

Freshman year may or may not be the easiest year for you, and I say “or not” because I didn’t have a fun time. I had a really bad time, but that’s just my experience. In my opinion, Freshman year is the easiest year because you don’t have to stress about college yet- the rest of the three years are just stress and more stress about college. Yay...

And overall, just have fun! There’s tons of activities, opportunities, and stuff to do in high school, and make memories along the way of your high school adventure :)

and that’s pretty much it, i guess! feel free to add any more of your own~

let me know if you have any more suggestions or tips for me to do! i love doing these, and it doesn’t hurt to ask.

Check out these other tips and references that I used to make this masterpost!:

tips for an easier first day

tips for an easier transition to high school

first day mistakes

words of wisdom from Lele Pons

how to be confident in high school - wine mom ;)

false myths about high school

dear incoming freshmen... - el-for-eleven

for those of you going into high school - an-eighth-of-faith

advice for freshmen - ceraynay

“listen up, freshmen babies!” - stuck-inasmalltown

how to survive high school - sparrowwitharrows

advice for incoming freshmen - tbhstudying

“my tips for high school freshmen!” - astrology-addict

tips all students need - gryfhindor

50 things to know for back to school - schoolhouserockk

high school survival guide - sweat-them-onions

some advice... (advice people never tell you about) - kelly-cactus

some hs advice to freshmen as a sophomore - aro-alien

what high school taught me... - study-survival

(general) high school advice - studyinr

unsolicited advice about freshman year - intellectus

do i ever use this in real life? - notlostonanadventure

band camp! - jellyfishqueen

how to make presentations more awesome - universtudy

jobs in high school - universtudy

online classes - byebyebyelilsebastianstan

online classes (pt. 2) - dartmvthensis

also, be sure to check out my #tips and #advice tags on my blog to see some more helpful posts! ;) more will be posted, i’m just really behind haha