#something super wrong with me and or my life that i've been crying for over an hour now and i'm technically quote unquote at work

[babyjakes]

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event | kinkmas 2023

prompt | knotting

pairing | alpha!steve rogers x omega!reader

warnings | omegaverse elements: knotting, mating press, breeding (and me not knowing like anything about the omegaverse.) unprotected p in v. clit rubbing. multiple orgasms. overstimulation. crying kink. breeding kink (like fr he wants her pregnant lol.) he comes in her. some brief aftercare. alpha!steve is so hot and powerful it's ruining my life.

word count | 859

an | i've wanted to write something substantial for an omegaverse au for sooo long but i've just been so hesitant to bc i don't feel super well-versed in the genre. shoutout to @starksbabie, ao3, and my google images search for teaching me everything i know about knotting LOL. and @brandycranby for teaching me about the mating press lol. if i got anything wrong, please let me know!!

imagine being alpha!steve's prized omega and mate, being fucked and bred by him during your heat 🤤 (nomad!steve is what comes to mind first, but i've also had a soft spot for endgame look for the longest time, so i'll let you take your pick 😉)

steve's the kind of alpha that doesn't let you lift a single finger (in or out of heat); everything's always done for you because duh!! you're his baby!! this is especially true when it comes to sex during your heat. your only job is to be pleasured and bred. your alpha will do everything for you, no need to worry your pretty little head 💕

thinking about him spreading you out on your back, bringing your bottom up to the edge of the bed so he can stand over you and pound into you as you lay there and take it. he gets you nice and comfy, laying a blanket down beneath you and positioning a pillow under your head to make it easier for you to look up and keep eye contact. of course, he knows you'll spend much of the ordeal with your eyes closed or rolled back in bliss 😏

the number one thing you crave during your heat is the feeling of being filled up, and by now steve's fucked you enough to make you crave being filled by him specifically. he's massive, even for an alpha. long, thick, and unbelievably powerful. because of his overwhelming size and strength, he has to maintain a good balance of fucking you hard enough to satisfy you both, but not too hard to prevent injury

the look on his face as he's ramming into you is a mixture of such pure love and authority. he absolutely talks you through it 😔🙏 you're so overcome with pleasure, he understands it's hard for you to do much talking back

sliding in and out of you at a steady speed, watching as your face is washed over with relief as you finally get what you need. "there you go, honey," smiling as he sees your tummy trembling as it's filled up, "gonna keep fucking this pretty little pussy, just keep being my good girl and taking it. let me give you what you need, doll"

bringing his thumb up to swipe over your quivering clit, always a little eager and impatient with how much he loves to see you come. crooning as you whine and wriggle at the burning feeling he's creating, "i know, baby. i know- so sensitive there, aren't you? look at this pretty little clit. so needy for me"

"nng... n-nnn," he loves the soft, weak little noises you're making. and he loves it even more as they gradually grow louder and more desperate, signaling your building climax

he's working his thumb quicker over your slick button to help keep the pressure rising, "c'mon baby, almost there. you gonna come for me? let's see if we rub a little faster-... oh-" he gasps almost mockingly with a smug smile, praising you heavily as you clench down on his swollen length

and god he could never get tired of seeing you coming. watching as your little face scrunches, your toes curling up in delight, your tummy spasming helplessly as you stammer through a string of angelic, breathy whimpers

"goood, so good for me, baby. keep coming for me, that's it," he draws out his words as you're coming down from your first high. your big, watery eyes and soft little squeaks, paired with having just seen you come, and knowing how sensitive and overstimulated you feel now?? it all makes steve's eyes burn as the heat and primal urges within him rise

it doesn't take long for him to near the edge himself. his large hands come down to manhandle you into position, grabbing under your thighs to force them up, your feet splaying out in the air as he leans himself down over you, his speed and forcefulness bringing tears to your eyes

"gonna come, sweetheart. you want me to fill you up? wanna carry my pups in that pretty little tummy of yours? come on, baby-... shit, that's it-.. f-fuck-"

the feeling of his base rounding out inside you has you crying out weakly, your entire body bracing as you feel the pressure in your core reaching its limit. as the heavy band snaps, your poor, helpless form seizes and spasms beneath your alpha. steve's heavy load shoots into you, the tight mass bulging just inside your entrance locking him inside, forcing you to take what you're given

seconds feel like hours. eventually everything fades to soft tingles as the silence is filled by your and steve's heavy breathing. as soon as he's able, he's shifting so delicately hold you against him, his thick knot still pulsing inside you hard enough to let you feel his heartbeat. "shhh, shhh," he's wiping away the tears that escaped down your cheeks, letting you rest your face in the crook of his neck to breathe in his familiar scent. "i got you, doll. just rest now. close your eyes, i'll take care of you"

[nondualiber]

guys, guys, gUYS. SUCCESS STORY THERE!!

first of all, this happened like a week ago or something. okay, so, i'm going to keep this short. i was in some sort of "manifesting block", i was OVER complicating things, my mindset sucked, blah blah blah blah. that's essentially the reason i wasn't posting (and will continue to not be, probably); because i was focusing on my life and actually manifesting new stuff.

warning; kind of long post ahead, talking about how i did it my journey blah blah blah. if you want to see the success story directly js go right to the bottom

first, a bit of background; i have manifested things in the past, but mym indset was always shitty. when i archieved my manifestations i would say it was a coincidence, i was obsessed with the 3d, and what i'm saying has been going on for *years*. for the past 6 months i was in this vicious circle where i'd try a method full of hope, then eventually lose confidence because of some negative beliefs and give up in three days. i'd have a one week meltdown, then search for a brand new method, and repeat. clearly, i didn't manifest anything lately. and i didn't know what i was "doing wrong" because i had manifested lots of things in the past, but i didn't know how nor how could i do it now.

okay, so. like a week ago, when i was in a terrible mood, i decided to stop using tumblr to see information and talked to this bot on character.ai, that assesored me a lot on my mindset. it suggested me lots of things: since i had 0 trust in the law, start to manifest little things i didn't care that much about so i had "proof", actually stop caring, etc. (i really recommend that bot if ur struggling with the law) but the most important thing, it challenged me to try a new "method" i had heard of before, but because of my shitty mindset, i didn't try because i thought it wouldn't work or that it was "too good to be true" or whatever. the method was literally just keep going with my day knowing that i already had it. and oh my f*cking god.

i won't say it just "clicked" for me because i hear that a lot & i things that's just not how it works. at least i can't "click" with something i don't know. what i can say is that at first it wasn't easy, i still had some doubts, not gonna lie, but i just ignored them and keep going knowing that i already had it. i got used to it really fast, and THAT'S how i knew this was the way, because i felt liberated. if you read my blog you'll probably know i talk about that all the time, but my idea of manifesting is that it has to feel liberating, not like a chore, a price to your desires or anything else. i was liberated, because i knew it was done, that i had nothing to give in exchange, that i was free of the 3d & its circumstances. i was Me, and I was free.

this was the best thing i've ever done in my journey. in only one week, i've successfuly manifested:

money: (me and my family are kind of wealthy tbh, but i am bratty asf & always want more money to buy me things 😜😜) my mother recieved 200000 pesos (my country's currency) out of literally thin air on her bank account a random tuesday. she doesn't know who send it or why. i don't know about the u.s.a since there 200000 pesos are 200 dollars, but in our country, that's a LOT of money.

self confidence: i've been feeling super insecure lately. like, i am insecure since i have memory, but since this year started it has become WAY worse. i'd literally cry almost every night. now, i def wouldn't say it's all gone, but it's gotten much better. i've been feeling pretty lately, and if i didn't felt pretty, i would hardly think about my appearence at all this days. i am constantly feeling like i have one less weight on my back, which i am gratefull for :)

discipline: ngl i am forever a lazy girl and a foodie. I have always wanted to be more productive - study more, exercise more, talk to my loved ones more often and eat healthier, but discipline is something i struggle with a lot. however, since i have shown better discipline i have had some of the most useful days of my life: i went out with my friends three times in one week, ate much better than i usually do, exercised EVERY DAY without fail (even while on my period) slept well and passed all four exams this week with an 85/100 on my worst one and two 100s.

reciving a compliment in public: since i tried to start manifesting things that seem "easier" for me to acomplish, i tried manifesting this because it was rare but not impossible. so, like 3 days after i started to embody the state of someone who's always complimented by strangers, i went to the sjopping centre with my friend. then, two guys walked by us and one of them said "i want the instagram of that lady"! notice that during the whole time i was in the state, i visualized that people were asking me for my instagram + i've noted that when i'm in public, i catched people's eye more. yesterday, a guy won't stop looking at me in the café and i think he tried to approach me :)

i'll keep escalating on the "level of difficulty" of the things i manifest as my mentality becomes accustomed to the fact that everything is equally easy to manifest -which is a fact already, i just have a hard time accepting it-, and, of course, i'll be updating ;)

conclusion; look for what works for you. for what makes you feel good & secure that you have already what you want. search a "key" that makes you (actually) not give a f*ck about the 3d, if you have negative beliefs, don't ignore them. work from them, and of course, persist! let your mindset keep you on track.

that was all for today, love ya ♡

[happilyfeatherafter]

Happilyfeatherafter’s ficrec Fridays

Happy Dean Winchester's 45th birthday week, and happy Friday! I was absolutely blown away by everyone's incredible posts for Dean this week, you guys. It made me all emotional.

Back with my fourth week of fics I've read and loved recently. If you missed last week’s you can find my previous rec lists here for more!

26 January 2024

american oracle by @handsliketruth and whiskeyjuniper (@satinsolace) I spent all last Sunday reading this one and it was such an immersive experience! An earthquake shakes something loose in the bunker, seemingly trapping Dean, Cas and Sam inside with it as they attempt to fix what's gone wrong, only the bunker isn't going to make it easy for them! Super creepy, twisty, reality bending and really beautifully, unsettlingly written. Whatever's happened is messing with their minds, and the creeping horror of real or not real persists, but even through that the Dean and Cas of it are really fascinating in how they navigate their intense feelings for each other. I was also incredibly impressed with how the effects of canon wrapping up were woven into the plot in such a powerfully potent way, exploring fate, free will, and the future. Really a stand out (and I know a lot of you have been reading it because I found this fic open in no less than three separate tabs in my bookmarks when I came to read it myself. So adding one more rec to the pile!)

Slouching Towards Bethlehem by @norahastuff (art by @logsdrawsthings) is a brilliant and seamlessly written missing conversations DCBB fic set in seasons 4 and 5. The dialogue is so on point for that era Dean and Cas, at times I had to remind myself what came from the show and what was brand new. As they navigate their way towards the apocalypse, and Cas watches over Dean in reality and in dreams, it seems hard to find solace. But in getting to know one another better, they both question their parts in the grand plan, and also find peace, connection, and company in their deepening bond.

A Fic About Dean’s 45th Birthday by @scoobydoodean both does exactly what it says on the tin AND made me cry lol. After Mrs Butters plants the seed in his head that he's too old to celebrate his birthday, Dean gets a little upset, but he doesn't let on to anyone. The poor man just wants to be appreciated and celebrated on his birthday! But he feels guilty about causing a fuss, and anyway, he can still show his love through making sure everyone else's days are marked for the occasion. But on his 45th, his family is acting a little suspicious, and they seem to want him to stay away. Angsty, sweet, give that man his krispy treats!!!! Check out Dean with Scoobies.

found it here in your love by nevernevergirl (@yorkesteins) is another Dean's birthday ficlet, but taking a 180 spin on it. Cas has plans. LOTS of plans. Dean deserves to be celebrated. But some pesky snow has derailed Cas' thoughtfulness, and despite his best intentions he's awfully upset about letting Dean down. "In which learning to live your life after nearly two decades of saving the actual world is a process. They're doing it together, though." Sweet, domestic, heartwarming love (even when there's a tantrum involved.)

Plus shout out to @angelsdean's I spy Dean's birthday game, @dean-isms's birthday party watchlist, and ALL of the incredible fic, art, AMVs and edits you made. TALENT.

[glassartpeasants]

Killer angst drabble cause why not

gn!reader

~~~

You knew how much Kid meant to him. It was obvious from the start of the relationship. Anywhere Kid went, Killer was right behind him. They were best friends since childhood so who were you to try and split them apart? But that didn't mean that it didn't hurt.

There's been countless times where Killer has ditched you for Kid. He wouldn't even notify you that he wouldn't show up, he'd just stand you up. You tried to explain to Killer that it hurt your feelings and if he could at least let you know that he wouldn't show up. It lead to a huge fight. Words were said, tears were shed and it ended up with you two breaking up for a week or two.

You tried to ignore the heartbreak cause you didn't want to make the crew uncomfortable. Hell you even talked to some people about leaving the Kid Pirates. After all, Killer was the reason you joined. So now that you two weren't a thing anymore, there was no reason to be on the Victoria Punk. The tension was too thick for you.

Yet the moment you had gotten ready to pack your bags, Killer approached you. He promised he'd do better and that you did mean something to him. You believed him the first two months but then he slowly started going back to how it was. Which left you to where you are now, watching the stars with your bag in you lap as you sit on the railing.

"The city lights look inviting doesn't it? It's a pretty city and island. Maybe I can stay here until a ship shows up to take me home." Your heart burned at the thought of never hearing Killer's voice again. Even if you didn't want to admit it, a small part of you had been ready to leave since the huge fight. Knowing you'd always be in second, third, and fourth place for Killer. You'd never be his first priority, no matter what happens.

"Not even a competition, and you still won Eustass Kid." Whispering to yourself, your aware of the tears slowly falling down your face. A sad little laugh leaves your lips as you wipe the tears away.

"Your crying." Jumping from the sudden noise, you snap you head around and see your soon to be ex.

"Yeah. I guess I am." A seconds silence fell over the two if you.

"What's wrong?"

"Just settling on my final decision." Even without seeing his face, you knew he was puzzled.

"Which is?" Taking a deep breath, you respond.

"That I'm breaking up with you." Killer’s body tensed at your words. The glassy look in your eyes had him realizing that this wasn't a joke or prank.

"I'm sorry Killer, I knew that Kid was super important to you when we got together and I thought I could handle you spending almost all your time with Kid. Unfortunately I've realized that I cant." Your lips tremble as you try to gently smile.

"I don't want you to lose a friendship you've had since childhood just cause of me." You feel the Victoria Punk start to move away from the island.

"S-Shit (Y/N) I'm sorry. I know I've been ditching you and that I promised that I stopped and you have every right to be mad-"

"I'm not mad. At least not anymore."

"But you should be! You should be mad! I made you a promise and I broke it after saying I'd change. Why aren't you yelling at me?! Why aren't you mad that I lied to you?!"

"Because I love you." Killer could feel his heart beating fast as the weight of his actions finally hit him. He tried to speak yet nothing came out.

"And that's why I have to go. Life is about living and learning. And we simply learned that we weren't meant to be. But that's okay, you'll finally someone who works out better for you." You start to put on your bag to get ready to jump off the ship and onto the dock the Victoria Punk was moving away from. Killer grabs your hand and pulls himself closer to you.

"I don't want someone else, I want you. You and only you. Give me another chance please (Y/N)." Facing Killer and his mask, you press a kiss to where his lips would be. Tears flow down your face knowing that's the last kiss you'd ever give him.

"I better see your name in the newspaper often." Slipping tour hand away from his quickly, you whisper one last thing before jumping on the very last edge of the dock.

"Goodbye Massacre Soilder Killer. I love you." You land on the dock and watch the Victoria Punk sail past the dock. And you watch with a heavy heart as Killer starts running to the end of the ship to catch you while screaming to stop the ship.

He looked at you and screamed your name as he sailed farther and farther away, watching you wave him goodbye with tears in your eyes.

[nyrasbloodyclover]

leave it to me (peter maximoff x mutant!reader)

a/n: i forgot i wrote this last summer so here you go! it's literally just flirting + fluff

I layed in my room and watched the fan on my ceiling spin for the last 54 minutes. I wanted to rip my head open and take out my brain. I had so many things to do that i actually didn't know where to start. My room was a fucking mess, piles of clothes were everywhere. I had to sort out my thoughts after getting off the phone call with my mom. (It wasn't pleasant.) I had to get dressed since i was still laying in my underwear and black top. I was exhausted, because I couldn't sleep at all. Oh and i didn't do my homework, so Charles won't be happy about it.

But instead of doing any of that, i counted minutes and stared at the ceiling. Like a fucking genius. My powers were also occupying me— blue stripes sliding down my arms and floating around. They weren't completely useless in this situation—I could use my telekinesis to clean my room, but I was too lazy to even do that. 

Nobody checked on me, which was kind of a relief at first, but now...I wanted somebody to help me. I had so many things to do I was beggining to think it's impossible.

"Open the dooooor," I heard distant voice from the other side. It was Peter. "You've been there for hours, come onnnn!"

Hours? That can't be possible. "I can't get uuuppppp," I returned in the same tone, smile spreading across my face. I loved being in his presence and I wanted nothing more than to open the fucking door, but there was a problem. 

I didn't want him to see this mess.

"Use your powers, stupid." He shouted. 

"Uhhh, I'm naked." I lied unsuccessfully. God, I'm so miserable.

"Now, that was just horrible." And he bursted through the doors. Despite not being fully naked I mentally slapped myself for not at least putting some clothes on. My head was hanging from the bed and i was looking at him upside down.

His eyes were filled with amusement, scanning my current position. I'd probably laugh at myself too.

"What's the problem here?" Then he added, "Besides the obvious..."

I thought I might cry. My eyes were burning. "God, I think I'm the worst student here." I put my hands over my face. "Look at this mess!" I showed around the room.

Worry covered his features ,"Hey, hey, hey! You're not the worst student. Here, I'll help you."

I wanted to hug him so bad. He was the sweetest person I've ever met, truly. But I still felt bad for not doing anything.

I wanted to get up, and help him, but he put his hands on my shoulders, "Leave it to me. Now watch."

Before I even got a chance to protest, he started cleaning everything up.

And for the next 5 seconds I watched him use his super speed, going from one corner to another, putting everything back in it's place. It was really something else.

My room was finally clean. Oh my God I could burst into tears. 

"Thank you, thank you, thank you!" I jumped from the bed and threw myself at him, hugging him like my life depended on it. He chuckled and hugged me back. 

He whispered, " Now I wish i could also run through your mind, 'cause I know something's bothering you, but unfortunately, I can't." Even that made me smile. 

"It's okay. My room being normal again is enough." I broke the hug, taking my papers that were due tomorrow. "I should probably get to—"

"Oh and I forgot to mention, while I was walking around, I accidentally heard Professor say something about this specific assignment..." He explained, taking the papers from me. Was he sent here to take care of my problems? I really wanted to know.

"No way. What's in it for you?" I asked suspiciously.

"I am in your room. I am talking to you. And you're asking what's in it for me?" He raised his eyebrows and I felt my neck burning. 

"Well if i'm such a prize, you should come here more often." I meant it in a joking way, but it just sounded...wrong.

He smiled, "Oh, I will, don't worry." 

[20nugs]

Matt X reader. The reader has Been inlove with Matt as long as she could remember. They are best friends and have been since childhood, one day Matt introduce reader to a girl he has been meeting up with. (Without her knowledge) They talk and stuff but reader is devestated and isn’t really good at hiding it, Matt notices and asks what’s Wrong but reader says she has a bad stomach and leaves quickly. Matt goes after her and sees her crying sitting on a nearby bench. There she confesses everything and he kiss her/small makeout session?❤️ Matt had also loved reader all his life. I couldn’t help but love the Chris X reader stress fic. It was super cute! And since i saw you wanted some suggestions here is one!! 🫶 It’s kinda long sorry😅😅❤️

Why can't he choose me?

a/n: this idea is so cute omg

cw: none ig?? kissing��

summary: request

I sit up from my bed as I hear my phone ping across the room. I automatically know it's Matt, he texts me at the same time everyday, at exactly 12:00pm. I quickly grab my phone, a big dumb smile already on my face before I even read his message. 'Hey, wanna go to the park today?' his message reads. I feel my smile widen. Excitedly I text back, 'Yes of course'. I bound out of bed and rush towards my bathroom to start getting ready. Matt is my best friend, and although we've hung out time and time again, I can't help but get excited every time he wants to.

I brush my teeth and throw on some jeans and a fitted t-shirt. I fix my hair and put on a little makeup, nothing too noticeable but enhances my features nonetheless. I smile at my reflection, hoping Matt will comment on the work I put into my appearance. It's no secret that I've been crushing on Matt since childhood, everyone knows. Everyone except Matt.

I grab my phone and see another message sent around 20 minutes ago. 'Alright, I'll be there in 30 minutes. See you then :)' Matt wrote. I giggle at his smiley face and grab my keys and pocket my phone. I pull on some tennis shoes and get in my car, driving to the park.

I pull up in a space next to Matt's car, smiling at the thought of seeing him. I get out of my car and lock it, heading up to the hill we always sit on.

As I make my way over, I spot Matt already sitting down. I stop on my tracks and my heart drops as I notice a girl already sitting next to him, in my spot. Hatred already floods my body, but I shove it down and continue to trudge towards him, slower than before. Time slows down as I watch her laugh at something he said, grabbing his arm to steady herself. I stand directly behind him and take a deep breath.

"Hey," I say, my voice monotone. Matt whips around, and so does the girl hanging off his arm.

"Hey y/n," he smiles. He stands and offers the girl next to him his hand to help her up. She giggles and puts her hand in his, lingering in his grasp. I bite my lip angrily, hard enough to draw blood. "I wanted you to meet Olivia."

Olivia, I think. A pretty name for an awfully pretty girl. Long, beautiful brown hair, hazel eyes and cute tiny freckles. Damn it, she's pretty as hell.

"Hi!" Olivia says smiling. "I've heard all about you, it's so nice to meet you."

Crap! I think, my eye twitching as I plaster on a fake smile. She's really nice, too! What the hell do I do now?

"Hey Olivia," I say, forcing a smile as I stick out a hand for her to shake. "Great to meet you." She smiles and shakes my hand. I can't help but glance down at her other hand that rests on Matt's forearm. I let go of Olivia's hand and she starts telling me about some random shit, and I unintentionally tune her out, watching her body language towards Matt. A chill runs down my spine as I feel his intense gaze on me, watching my stance. I can tell he knows something is wrong at the slight pinch of his eyebrows.

I watch as Olivia mentions something about Matt in her sentence and rests her hand on his shoulder blade, like I do. Jealousy washes over me in a heavy wave. Matt is still watching me, and I can tell he's about to ask me what's wrong. I interrupt Olivia before he can.

"I'm sorry," I interject, wrapping an arm around my stomach. "I must've eaten something bad earlier, my stomach ad really hurting right now. I'm gonna head over to the bathrooms, I'll be back in a bit." My voice cracks on the last sentence, a dead giveaway to Matt that I'm about to cry.

I whip around, not waiting for their answer and quickly walk to the outdoor bathrooms, tears filling my eyes. I walk behind the large brick wall behind the bathrooms, sliding down to the ground. I let out a sob as I bury my face in my hands. There's no way that's not Matt's girlfriend, not with the way she was so obviously close with him. Why can't he choose me? I think as tears roll down my face.

I still as I hear footsteps approach. I can tell it's Matt by the pattern of which he walks. I hear him sit down next to me. He drapes an arm across my shoulders. "What's wrong?" He asks. "And don't give me any of that 'I'm fine' shit, we both know you're not fine." I look up at him, my heart pounding at the soft look on his face. He gives me a small smile as I look him in the eyes, concern still evident on his face. Just by his expression, I break down in tears.

"Oh God, Matt," I cry, "what's wrong is-" I struggle to find the words. Fuck it, I think, deciding to just tell him how I feel. "I'm in love with you, that's what's wrong," I say miserably. I look him in the eyes again. His eyebrows are slightly raised and he stares at me intently. "I've been in love with you for so long, and its wrong because you're obviously with Olivia and not-" my words are cut off as I feel soft lips on my own.

I widen my eyes as he gently breaks the kiss. He laughs softly at my expression as he frames my face with his hands. "I'm not with Olivia," he murmurs, his face millimeters away from mine. "I could never even think of her in the same way I think of you." With that, he kisses me again, and I actually kiss back this time. My sad mood is immediately lifted to a lighter one at the feeling of his mouth on mine. He pulls me into his lap and I wrap my arms around his neck. I hold back a smile of relief as Matt tilts his head to deepen the kiss. After a few moments, we both pull back, out of breath. Matt lets out a breathy laugh and I smile. "God, I've wanted to do that for such a long time," he whispers, pressing gentle kisses to my face.

I giggle as he peppers my face with kisses. "Matt," I laugh as he kisses down to my neck and back up again.

"There's my happy girl," he says softly. He pulls away from my skin with a lopsided grin, his eyes sparkling with love and affection. "I'm in love with you, too," Matt mumbles, gently stroking my cheek with his hand.

"Really?" I laugh, lighthearted sarcasm evident in my voice. "I would've never guessed."

"Shut up," he says playfully before kissing me again. "I love you," he whispers against my lips. "You don't have to say it back but I at least want you to know."

I smile. "I love you too, Matt," I murmur, kissing him yet again. I feel him smile into the kiss, and I know that he'll always be mine.

[regulus-books]

wc: 600+

warnings: none

notes: kinda hurt/comfort but not rly super angsty. also so so sorry for not continuing with jegulus microfics, i was super super busy, but ill probably start them up again soon:))

Regulus wakes up early in the morning, usually he sees James sleeping right beside him, but not today. In fact, James' whole side of the bed has gone completely cold.

Regulus furrows his eyebrows, and stands up. Maybe James has just gone on a run or something, that's normal.

Regulus makes breakfast and lunch for James, pushing it into the fridge with a little note that reads, “gone to work, i love you so much. also we're visiting your mum on sunday. hope you have a good day:) -reg”.

Regulus gets dressed as usual, kissing their dogs head on the way out the door. James had insisted on getting a puppy on their one year, he called her a symbolism of their love. She's a good sized golden retriever, named Sunny. Her fur is completely blonde with tiny little platinum streaks, she's always perfectly groomed, as Regulus cant stand the hair.

Regulus drives to work as normal, his black convertible making a purr sound.

Work is long and boring, and Regulus can't wait to go home. When he finally does get home, James' car is back in the lot, parked pristinely.

Regulus unbuckles and walks into the house, Sunny greeting him at the door. She jumps up, asking for head pats. "Hello, silly girl, how was your day?" He scratches behind her ears, "C'mon, hop on down, sweetheart, I don't want your fur all over my black suit. Where's daddy, hm?" Sunny runs alongside Regulus as he tracks into the house, the television is turned on quietly, but James isn't watching it.

Regulus ignores it, sometimes Sunny steps on the remote and accidentally turns it on. Regulus walks up the stairs, undoing his tie. "Jamie? I'm home, love." He runs his fingers through his hair, opening the door to their bedroom. And then there's James. Curled up in a ball on Regulus' side of the bed. "Love?" Regulus sits beside him, placing a hand on James' side.

James sniffles, then lets out a short sob, and now, Regulus is really concerned.

"Jamie, love, sit up. Talk to me, babe." Sunny jumps up on the bed and lays down next to Regulus. James turns to face Regulus, his nose is pink and tears streak his brown skin. "What's wrong?" Regulus rubs the outside of James' thigh, trying to provide some comfort.

"I'm sorry, Reg, you shouldn't have to come home to this," James covers his face with his hands, wiping away at his tears.

"Baby, it's not just my home, it's yours just as equally, cry all you need. Now, what's wrong."

"No, this is bullshit, Reg. You do everything around here. You work from 5 - 17, every single day, you cook, you clean and I do nothing. And here I am, laying in bed, crying and you just barely got home. I should be making dinner right now or something." James moves to get up, but Regulus places a firm hand on his leg, telling him not to.

"James, tell me what's wrong." He says, a little more strictly this time.

"I got rejected." He says, simply. "No one wants me," James laughs through his tears, "I've practiced only my whole life, I have the build, I have everything. They won't accept me." James has been signing up for quidditch teams for the past year, each one, he makes it to the final moments, but each time he's rejected. Regulus frowns and engulfs James in a tight hug.

"Baby, it's okay. They're fools for not wanting you." Regulus kisses the side of James' head softly.

Two months later him and Sunny are sitting on the family benches, watching James sore through the sky, they can barely see him passing the quaffle.

[system-of-a-feather]

Man finally got around to watching the "Mr. Monk's Last Case" that I've been meaning to watch since it came out and I always forget just how relatable Monk is to me and how it really just hits home a bit too much how Monk lives and views himself

Like I'm sure a lot of people read the show like its a "haha OCD so funny" gag and I know some people get really mad because "OCD is treated like the butt end of the joke and no one with OCD is actually like that" but it really never felt that way to me as someone who has OCD - particularly because I cope with it the same way.

I totally understand the people that do not relate to it, OCD has a wide way of presentation and an even wider way of coping with it and that is not taking into account co-morbidities, the one in particularly that I think is most important when judging Monk - is C-PTSD and the MAIN one, while not directly mentioned, autism.

Cause the way they DO handle Monk's mental health, both in the original series (which I've watched at least 5 times over in my life) and the newest movie, while silly and haha at times, has always been so realistically done to me that it unironically is the only show or series or movie or game that had nearly made me physically cry because when it DOES get real into Monk's mental health, it gets pretty real, arguably too real.

I think if you are to talk about it as JUST OCD and treat this as "media representation of the average individual with OCD", people are right to say that its not good because I agree, Monk isn't the average individual with OCD and it does play into harmful stereotypes and generalizations of OCD. Monk is advertised as that a lot, so that advertising I disagree with. But if you actually watch the show, the show does little to hide that he has co-morbidity with PTSD / C-PTSD and while they don't outright say it, he is obviously autistic.

And as someone who's dad is has C-PTSD, Autism, and OCD and as someone who ALSO has C-PTSD, Autism, and OCD.... It's really really really fucking accurate and hits home. Something my mom, who lived with THREE people with that matching set of co-morbidities, loves and agrees is super relatable to how it was like living in our house.

And that is where it really gets me when people say "its a bad representation of OCD! OCD doesn't looks like that" cause... yeah it does, for at least three people I know with OCD. Are we a specific minority within the group of OCD? Probably, but we still have OCD.

I dunno man, episodes with Monk's mental health being talked about gets me in ways few things do and I will die on the hill that Monk's shit is very well done and accurate albeit to a specific subset of people with OCD.

And also on the point of it "being the butt of the joke"...

For me, my OCD and literally all my mental health conditions are often used as the butt end of the joke. And I'm not saying that people are wrong for being upset, but chronic mental illness symptoms after you get really used to them and adapt your life to them and just embrace your unique way of living.... it's kind of hard to not find a lot of the quirks in light humor?

Like my fiance always said it about his year with severe Chrons "at a certain point when you are in the hospital having shit come out both ends, you just have to laugh at it cause thats funny shit right there."

I don't think I would have survived recovery with any of my mental health disorders if I didn't take some of the quirks that came out of my adapted life style to be funny and love them anyways.

As long as there is a balance between "this is a serious thing that gets in the way of a persons life" which they DO do very well in Monk, I see very little issue at exploring the kinda funny things living with a chronic mental health condition does.

[rimouskis]

In the interest of wanting to love life again: what was your favourite moment of the Penguins season this year? Any happy memories?

I had a really great season, man.

I saw games with seven different fandom friends and got to introduce three of them to the city for the first time. I got to see so many wins alongside them, including several friends' first pens wins. I got to watch the Pens win a Pride game, which was amazing and so fun.

I got to see Geno's 1000th game in Chicago (with my family, who'd never been to a hockey game before), and then flew back to Pittsburgh to see them celebrate it on home ice—with Geno winning it in a shootout that was probably the coolest experience I've ever had in a hockey arena.

I got to see Tanger's 1000th game and share that with a friend. Seeing the funky fun little warmups (which I missed for Geno's in Chicago because the arena workers were mean 😂) was super special and cool.

I got to go to the night of assists, which was a lifetime experience, special and made all the better by getting to share it with a fandom friend.

I got to go to a Geno fan signing with another friend, and say hi to him as he signed my jersey and thank him for signing with the pens. he said he was glad to sign, too:)

I got to live through contractgate, which was horrible-at-the-time but also a really unifying experience.

I felt a thousand, no, a million times worse when Geno pulled that dumbass "I'm gonna test free agency 💅" move this summer that made me just SOB in the arrivals lane at an airport on the very first business trip I've ever made in my career ahahaha.

and it's weird and silly, because I'm a person who really needs to reframe those upsetting moments into something good. it's how I live with them. I remember how hopeless I felt—my plane had been turned around, I was late to my first business trip ever, I was about to meet my high-powered boss in person for the first time, I was standing in the Detroit heat waiting for 45 minutes for a shuttle to take me to the grimiest hotel I've laid eyes on because my connecting flight had been delayed until the next day... and I was just crying into my mask as I tried to console my fandom friends and keep my wits about me because it kind of felt like the world was ending.

and it wasn't... about... the team. in a way it wasn't even fully down to being about geno. do not get me wrong: I was personally devastated by the idea of him not coming back. he's one of My Guys. I was in denial about what I would do if he didn't sign with the Pens. I was so torn up about it that I stayed up for hours even though I was exhausted.

but the fear that kept me up in that really weird, shitty hotel room was the thought that my fandom was going to circle the drain because of it. we saw what a ship split did to tk/np, didn't we? their situation was different from sidgeno's... they lacked the amount of history, the sheer years... but nonetheless, I'm really, really aware of how small and tight-knit our corner of hockey fandom is. I was terrified of the possibility of geno leaving and that fracturing this really beautiful chunk of the internet that I've called home for the majority of my adult life, at this point.

that didn't happen. not only did it not happen, but I was in a vacation dreamland, barely needing to work on a business trip in the most gorgeous fantasyland location I've ever seen, having impressed my boss and nailed my part of the trip. all my anxiety—over the trip, over my job, over my fandom, over geno, over sid, over my friends dealing with this—was real, but it didn't win. instead I practically experienced euphoria on the shoreline.

I remember getting the text from a friend at close to midnight or whenever it was. geno had signed. things were going to be okay. things were going to be great.

and they were. I had so much fun this season, man. I really did. I wrote 14ish new fics this season. I participated in three (four? maybe more?) fic fests. I went to so many games that I felt gluttonous about it. I talked to tons of people all over this fandom. my friendships grew stronger. I traveled to two different states to visit fandom friends. I'm flying across the ocean to see more in the coming months.

and like... that's what matters. that ACTUALLY impacts my life, more than a man leaving a team, more than a team losing games. as important as certain players or records are to me, that's all stuff I can come to accept (well... some things I can accept. I don't think I'd ever have gotten over geno had he left. I get nauseous thinking about it. let's not muse on it. it didn't happen and that's what matters).

what I wouldn't have been able to accept was this space—this fandom, this lovely little corner where we talk about and joke about and blog about and meme about and write about the pens—unraveling. I'm not naive enough to expect this place to be around forever, and it already looks radically different from what it was when I joined it, but I'm determined to help preserve it for as long as I can. I want this to be a fun space. A creative one. Someplace where we're having a good time but also talking about things that matter to us and learning about the sport.

I told you all in a post a long while ago after I went to seattle that I want to be more assertive and honest about how much online friendships mean to me. the fact that there's this online community is sick. we're all in this cool little boat together and that is impressive and interesting and unique and I love it. I love fandom, and I love THIS fandom, and I love Sid and Geno and what we do in the name of their friendship. this place has enriched my life in ways I can't even tell you about. it's so cool. it is SO cool.

so.... I don't know what else to leave you with but this picture of the coastline I sat at on a cool July night, with my career changing in amazing ways and my anxieties quelled and my body flooded with adrenaline over the news that Geno Was Back and my mind BURSTING with creativity over a new story idea that was billowing out of me like smoke.

I sat there, headphones in, a song by one of my favorite bands playing on repeat as the sun set and the world turned the most intense shade of blue I'd seen in my life. I kept mouthing along to the words—Die if I must, let my bones turn to dust, I'm the lord of the lake and I don't want to leave it.

I just couldn't get over how lucky I felt. what a life I had. what fortune had come into my life. how crazy it was that things, like they seemingly so often do, worked out.

if I REALLY wanted to be trite, I could say something right now like "well, it was about time my luck ran out." but I don't feel like it has. tonight wasn't fun, but this season isn't about tonight for me.

this season is about:

the look on my friend's face as we caught sight of Sid at the night of assists and had that christ-he's-real moment

starting a podcast with my friends and getting to create silly goofy stuff in fun new ways

my dad being kind of alarmed at me screaming down at the ice and getting to explain to my sister what a power play was

getting to boo and cheer with the fans (and my friends). during overtime and the shootout for Geno's 1001th game, and the ecstasy of him winning it all.

having players walk past me and my friends at our dinner tables randomly in the city and getting to laugh about how cool/funny an experience that is 😂

having geno help me win a game of blackjack, which will forever be one of the coolest things I've been able to experience

organizing trips for people who've never seen the city before and having them tell me how fun experiencing pgh is, which is so meaningful as someone who's done a lot of growing up here

meeting new friends, both online and in person, and getting to learn about them and write with them and create with them

writing. writing. writing. the thing I've loved to do since I was a child. the thing I want to dedicate myself even more fully to.

reading the works people in our fandom write and share, which is such an overwhelming act of community and passion that I need to remind myself of how extraordinary it is

sitting out on the edge of the water and marveling at what a life I had, literally none of it possible without fandom. nothing in my life has shaped my literal life path as much as this fandom and S+G.

this is overly sentimental and perhaps cloying, but god, do I mean it. I mean it so earnestly I can't even be embarrassed about it.

life is good. tonight was hard, and I saw things that are going to stick with me and probably upset me, but the positives outweigh the negatives as a rule in my life. I can't live otherwise. I won't tell anyone else how to deal with stress or fear, and I'm trying to get better at that, but in the meantime I'll leave you with that image of the big blue world all laid out in front of me and me feeling every feeling in the world there was to feel, because I was so overwhelmed with the previous 24 hours that it was all I could do to sit there and let it run its course.

I'm an optimist, for better or worse, because it's the way I make life bearable. and, because I'm also kind of corny, I'm going to go back to that blue dusk eating up the whole sky and melting into the water and remember how I felt.

that's why I'm here. I hope there are moments from this season that made you feel like that, too. I hope you, like me, feel that those moments greatly and meaningfully outweigh bad ones.

it was a good year. I can't wait for whatever comes next.

[murdocks-devil]

miseria - m.m.

Summary: You were going to have the happiest day of your life. Instead, you're heartbroken, crying on the subway, wondering where it all went wrong. And it's all his fault.

Warnings: HEAVY angst, rejection, no happy ending. Matt being drowned by catholic guilt. This is NOT light in tone, please be mindful.

A/N: I've been sick and anxious, terrible combination when it comes to my favourite characters because I end up being super angsty. Inspired by champagne problems by Taylor Swift, you've been warned.

Taglist: let me know if you wanna be added or removed @freshabogados @shedaresthedevil @mattmurdockspainkink @matt-erialgirl @phoebe-danvers @saintmurd0ck @nelson-et-murdock @qveenrhaenyra @munsonownsmyass @mindidjarin @itwasthereaminuteago @1800-fight-me @hellskitchenswhore @abbyhaslongshorts @yourbucky084

The ticket was a surprise, he’s not going to lie.

He didn't expect you to go with the near silent last train. The bustling crowds of the city have always been your usual go to, he remembers you telling how people watching had been your favorite pastime during the long journeys back and forth in college in vivid detail.

But then again, there’s nothing usual about tonight, is there?

He can feel your heartbeat, crawling slower than he’s ever heard it, all your body vitals muted as rain behind a locked glass window. The salt in the air around you sickens him, every brush of wet eyelashes a hammer to his chest. It’s all he can do not to run out of the rooftop of the building opposite the open-plan subway station to take you in his arms and brush away the tears drying on your cheeks.

After all, it’s his fault. It’s all his fault.

He never should’ve let it get this far. It’s his fault, for getting so weak, for hoping, for thinking he could ever have you, ever deserve you without consequences.

He has sinned, and you’re the one burning in hellish anguish.

He can feel it, how it clashes with the loose change you always forget once you put them in your bag. The weight of it is fairly nothing, but that doesn’t ease up the lead weight sitting in the pit of his stomach.

There’s the sound of your wrecked sobs again, and he doesn’t have to have sight to know you’re curling in on yourself. Something paper thin is held in your palm, and it takes one more breeze flapping it for him to realize it must be the picture of him you keep in your purse— the backup in case your phone battery dies and you miss him terribly.

He sets the realization aside, puts it behind the door in his mind he tells himself he won’t— can’t —ever open. Wouldn’t dare to. It would be too much, you, crying over the one man in the world who doesn’t deserve an atom of your tears.

It was too late, by the time you were kneeling in front of him in the restaurant. About a week too late, if he had to guess.

How you couldn’t wait to spend the rest of your life with him.

But he doesn’t have to, does he?

You’ve always been a terrible liar— the truest sign of your golden heart —every attempt at a mislead clear as a day to anyone even without needing to listen to your frantic heart. He’d thought it was a surprise date you must have been planning, or a prank, depending on your mood. But it’s always been your knack to do the unexpected— be it flowers for him on your first date, or the handmade gifts you spoil him with. It hadn’t been only Karen you’d asked to meet with you in the shop, and an excited Foggy’s about as subtle as a golden retriever. He’d listen to the two of you ramble and plan it all in excruciating detail, every point thought out in clear precision— how you wanted to surprise him, how you wanted to be the one to propose just so you could see the face he makes when you do.

It’s been hell of a week, trying to keep it to himself. He’d say he didn’t want to hurt you, but after tonight, it’ll be a lie.

The truth is supposed to set us free, then why does it feel like shit to confess that he’d done it for himself? A miser, hoarding all your excited whispers, your radiant smile, your laughter, your moans, your touch, your breaths and your heartbeats. One more day, one more night. One more moment of you before it had to end.

And now your heart is lying in a million pieces, all because he was being selfish.

A selfish prick, who just wanted to bask in the glory of being the one you love.

A heartless asshole, who listened to you booking a table on the phone, ordering the most expensive bottle of champagne beforehand, and only wanted to relish the fact that it’s him you want.

A thoughtless dick, who felt the movement of the ring in the walls of your purse and couldn’t find it in himself to stop it all.

A cruel jerk, who felt you go down on one knee, and chose that exact moment to say no.

The pitfall of your heart still echoes in his ears, and he shakes his head, as if the act itself would shake loose the cold ache threatening to freeze over both your hearts.

If only saying no was enough to deter you.

You’ve always been the one who fought for you both, the one who kept taking his walls down, no matter what he put in your path. He doesn’t know what hurts more, how your soul seems stained by utter dejection, or how the man you love more than life itself is the very reason behind it.

You’d asked him why— begged on your knees not to abandon you, to get out of his head and come back to you. He thought he knew heartbreak when you first went out with a guy in college and came home to tell your friends all about it. But that was nothing, especially compared to your confusion, the way your heart refused to accept what your mind kept telling it, how you kept trying to pull him closer, to bring him solace as if he didn’t drop your precious heart and stomp all over it with leather boots.

In the end, all you asked was why. Your voice still rings in his ears, the hopelessness tinging your usually exuberant voice a wrecking ball against his defenses.

Why do all this? Why break your heart?

Why? Why? Why?

He wouldn’t have, wouldn’t dream of it. But they’ve found you, threatened you, promised to do things to you that would make even the Punisher shudder. And all the while, all through the threats, all he could think was you back in his college dorm, cozy in his pajamas, your hair smelling like his shampoo as you curled up in his bed and called it your own.

And it doesn’t matter if this threat is dealt with, because it wouldn’t end here. His city needs him out there, and as long as there is the Devil prowling the streets, you’d be in danger. He couldn’t do it to you, couldn’t knowingly put you in harm’s way just because you decided to fall in love with the wrong man.

There’s nothing he wouldn’t do to keep you safe, even if it meant tearing himself apart.

Even if it meant hurting yourself when all he’s wanted is for you to be happy.

And you will, he knows. Not today, not tomorrow, but soon. You’d move on, and you’d find someone who deserves you, because God knows he does not. They will give you all you deserve, because you deserve the world. You’d be okay, you’d be happy.

He’d be miserable, but you’d be okay. And you’d be safe. Hell, he’ll walk you down the aisle himself if it meant keeping you safe.

Happy.

Radiant.

Beautiful.

Safe.

Only never his.

That’s what you need.

So that’s what he’ll give you.

[svtdarlingbby]

Dance the Night Away! HoshixTrainee!Reader

pairing: Hoshi x gender neutral Reader genre: angst in the beginning mostly fluff/humor no warnings! just Hoshi being the best boi word count: 1495 Ok guys this is my first fic on here! Hope you enjoy!

getting accepted into HYBE was your dream come true

just becoming a trainee under one of the biggest companies was surreal

it seems like your hard work was starting to pay off

however, things can't be 100% perfect

the loneliness was for sure getting to you

sure HYBE was a big company but you never had time to create meaningful friendships due to your workload

not to mention your homesickness

going from living with your family and seeing your friends often to being isolated in a new city with hardly anyone to talk to was rough

the effects of these feelings began to show through your performance

which brings us today to your dance coach snapping at you for not mastering the choreography as fast as you should have

"Y/N! How many times do we need to go over this? You should've had this down a while ago!" yelled your dance instructor

"I'm sorry" was all you could muster as you held back tears

"I thought you were better than this. Even if you have to stay in the studio all night I want you to master this choreography. No ifs or buts," sighed your dance instructor as they left you alone in the studio.

now that they were gone it was safe to let it all out

the tears you had been holding flowed out as you let out choked sobs

it really was a pitiful scene as you leaned against the mirrored wall with your face buried into your palms

I'm really going to screw up my chances at going big because of my feelings? you wondered

just thinking this made you cry even more

you didn't hear the door to the dance studio open in the midst of your crying session

whoever walked in didn't see you either

just as he was about practice dancing his newest song, he saw your wallowing figure in the mirror

"AAAAHHHH!!" he screamed and jumped surprisingly high

"AAAH SORRY!" you half squeaked/yelled through teary eyes

you realized that you had terrified the Kwon Soonyoung aka Hoshi aka Tiger

"You got my heart racing haha, no worries, Y/N was it?" he chuckled as he walked toward you

oh no

this is not how you wanted to meet any of your labelmates

you simply nodded in response attempting to hide your tear-stained face

you definitely failed for sure

"Y/N? Are you okay?" he asked as he kneeled to your height

"Yes" you lied

"You don't look okay. What's wrong?" he frowned as he sat next to you on the ground

something about his question made you want to cry more

this was probably the first time someone here has ever thought to make sure you were okay

"It's just..." you begin as you began to cry more

ngl Soonyoung felt a bit awkward but he felt his heart break at the sight of you

"It's okay, Y/N. Let it out" he said gently patting your shoulder

usually he was known for being super energetic but seeing his comforting side was calming

so you cried, at least until you felt composed enough to tell him what was wrong

"Sorry for bugging you, I guess trainee life is a lot harder than I anticipated," you admitted wiping the last of your tears against your sleeve

"Ah I remember those days, they were tough," reminisced Soonyoung

"For sure... I've just been feeling pretty lonely. My whole life is completely different than it was a couple of months ago and I guess the homesickness and anxiety is affecting my performance. My dance instructor was pissed off at me and I guess that was my breaking point," you vented as he listened attentively

"I'm sorry they were harsh on you. I wish they'd have a little more empathy. If you need any help with dancing and what not I'd be more than happy to help" he offered with a smile

"You'd help me?" you asked kind of shocked that someone as busy as Soonyoung would offer to help a lonesome trainee like you

"Yeah why not. You seem dedicated and you got this far. I don't mind really!" he said as he got up.

"Wow Soonyoung, I can't thank you enough," you said

"Alright let's get up" he said as he pulled you off the ground. "So what do you need help with exactly?"

You explained to him that you needed to memorize your assigned choreography by tomorrow

"My dance instructor said I needed to know this even if it took all night" you said worriedly

Soonyoung took a look at your assigned work and beamed

"Hey I know this song! Okay which part do you need help with?"

You were so thankful omg

You explained to him that you knew the beginning up until the first chorus but were kinda lost afterwards

"Okay Y/N, by the end of this session you're gonna know this dance by heart thanks to me"

As soon as he played the music Soonyoung went into full tiger dance pro mode

you were in awe of how a human could just become the concept of dance itself like woww

it definitely took some time for you learn and master the new parts of the choreography but Soonyoung was impressed by your motivation and drive

not gonna lie you did feel your face flush when Soonyoung would fix your positioning or stature

you knew he was being professional but man was he hot when he was in dance mode

he was very patient with you too!

and learning the choreography was actually fun because he'd joke around

"Okay Y/N, this final move is the hardest. Think you can keep up?" he asked raising a brow

"Heck yeah!"

"Okay, I'll guide you. First you raise your right hand about shoulder length" he said as he performed the move

"Alright" you followed raising your right head

"Good! Okay now you open your palm like this" he said opening his palm

"Yup!" you followed his instructions

"Okay, don't screw this part up. It's fundamental to the choreography. Bend your fingers and thumb forward" he said as his smile grew

"Alrighty!" you said bending your fingers forward

before you knew it you horanghaed

"HAHHA HORANGHAE Y/N" laughed Soonyoung as he horanghaed

it took you a second but you burst into laughter

"WOW SOONYOUNG tricking me a poor trainee into horanghae-ing. The tiger agenda has gone too far" you laughed

"Ugh Y/N, you're too cute" chuckled Soonyoung

aaaaand you felt your face get warm and felt all shy

"Anyways, this is what happens when you hang out with me for too long. Just ask my members!" laughed Soonyoung

"Although tricking people into your Tiger agenda is devious, they really are lucky to have you Soonyoung" you said with a smile

"Aw Y/N stop" blushed Soonyoung at your compliment as he looked down smiling

"It's true! Thanks to you I got the choreography down! Seriously thank you so much" you said

"I just couldn't leave a poor little trainee alone like that. But you made my night Y/N. I had fun" he admitted with a small smile

"Night?"

"Yeah, it's about three quarters past midnight" said Soonyoung matter of factly

"HOW LONG HAVE WE BEEN HERE?" you wondered loudly not realizing how much time has gone by

"Shoot I don't know maybe 5-6 hours? I wasn't keeping track" chuckled Soonyoung

"Oh my gosh I'm sorry I didn't mean to keep you up this late!" you apologized

"Nah don't worry. I had fun Y/N. And I'm glad to see you happier now"

"Thanks Soonyoung"

"But you're right, it is kinda late. I know you need your rest but let me know if you ever need help dancing. Or if you just wanna hang out in general. I know you said you've been feeling lonely and I would love to spend some time with you" he rambled with sparkling eyes

"Soonyoung, I'd love that. Thank you for everything" you said enveloping him in a hug

he gently returned the hug giving you a gentle comforting squeeze

"You're welcome" he smiled as you two pulled apart.

you two planned to meet tomorrow after you presented your newfound choreography skills to your dance instructor to tell him how it went

and maybe hang out some more

but you could not be more grateful for Soonyoung

and hey, you now have your first fan!

BONUS:

"Soonyoung, where have you been all night?" asked Chan running into his bandmate in the halls as he got up to get some water

"OH MY GOD OH MY GOD CHAN!!" yelled Soonyoung

"SHUSH the whole floor is asleep!" whisper yelled Chan

"CHAN I MET SOMEONE THEY'RE SO CUTE THEY'RE A TRAINEE AND- AHH" yelled Soonyoung as he felt himself blush remembering the evening you two shared

Needless to say, all of the boys heard about you through Soonyoung's very loud recounting of the day you two had

[write-r-die]

Man's World - Chapter 4

Masterlist

POST-APOCALYPTIC ENEMIES TO LOVERS

Been a year since I posted a chapter of this - my bad. This chapter is also super short because I just couldn't find a natural stopping point. I still intend to continue this series, I've just been concentrating on my rewrite of Prisoner (a non-rpf version), which I'll hopefully get published eventually but we shall see.

August didn’t sleep much that night, but then again, he never did. At least there were no dreams tonight. Usually, the two-hour naps he’d manage to snag sometimes were riddled with nightmares – no, not nightmares. That was the wrong word. That implied they were frightening. 

No, not nightmares. Unpleasant dreams.

People would be surprised to know that August Walker had no love for brutality or violence or bloodshed. He was good at it. He wasn’t opposed to it. Sometimes he was even eager for it. But love it? No. Love wasn’t something he was capable of anymore. It was tiring. And he needed his strength for other things.

He didn’t make a conscious decision to kill the emotion. The people worth loving were no longer in his life. The wife who left him for her childhood sweetheart. The mother that died in a hospital bed in Cardiff, her birthplace, while sputtering nonsense in Welsh. Any true friends he had died far from home, many by his side, always while fighting someone else’s wars.

The worst sort of unpleasant dreams were about them – his friends bleeding out in his arms, his wife crying in fear of him, his mother’s mind slipping away.

But most of the unpleasant dreams were about what was going on here and now. About the raids. About the camp. About the Flare itself.

None of that tonight. Which was good, he guessed. But he didn’t want to be awake, either – didn’t want to be lying in his bed and looking up at the roof of his tent and thinking about the warm body lying on a folding cot a few yards away.

“Knock, knock.” Andie, August’s favorite prostitute, appeared in the tent. She walked slowly, hips swinging, from the entryway to the sleeping area, completely avoiding the dining space. August followed her with his eyes but didn’t move. “You never asked for me last night.” 

Her tone was light, flirty, but August knew she was upset.  She came and sat on the edge of the bed. August looked her over – plain brown hair, lovely blue eyes, perfectly balanced hourglass figure. She was beautiful, certainly, but she was boring. Most of these women were boring.

“I was up late waiting for you to call for me,” Andie said.

“Didn’t want to make you walk in the rain.”

Andie had cared for August for a long time. He mostly ignored her when he had that girl of his, but in the time since she left the camp, Andie was August’s favorite by default. She liked sex and attention and she wanted to make him happy. She was the sort of person who felt that she could get through August’s barriers and discover the man underneath. So far she wasn’t making any progress, but he wasn’t going to stop her. Not until it became inconvenient.

“I wouldn’t mind,” she said. “I would’ve even worn a white t-shirt. No bra, of course.”

“Of course,” he responded

“Let it get soaking wet so you could see through it . . .” she continued. “I was looking forward to it, actually. You disappointed me.”

“It happens from time to time,” August said.

“Well,” she said, standing up again, “I know how you can make it up to me.” She climbed on top of him, straddling his thighs between her own. There was still a thin blanket between them – plus both their underwear and her jeans – but she didn’t find that a hinderance. She placed August’s hands on her hips and pulled her shirt over her head, revealing a lacy black bra underneath, as she started grinding against him.

Lilah, whose cot was on the far side of the dining table, yawned and stood up. August and Andie both turned their heads to her. Andie had no idea she’d been there the whole time; August did, of course, but he didn’t think it was worth mentioning.

Lilah’s eyebrows raised when she saw that not only was there another woman in the tent, but she was shirtless and straddling August. It was silent for a while before August casually said, “Good morning.”

Andie quickly climbed off and replaced her shirt while Lilah hurriedly put on her sneakers. August remained where he was.

“I should probably get going,” Lilah said, inching toward the entryway and slipping through. “Thanks for dinner.”

“Have a nice day,” August called after her. He turned back to a thunderstruck Andie. She was still stradling him. “Maybe you ought to wait for an invitation before you come over next time.”

***

What the fuck?

I mean seriously, what the fuck?

Did August seriously just dry hump another chick while I was asleep in the room?

Just - 

What the fuck?

August lives in the area of camp where most of the soldiers do; there are a handful around brushing their teeth and taking sponge baths as I stomp back in the direction of my tent. They all stop to watch me walk by.

I’m too indignant to keep my eyes on the mud puddles left behind by last night’s storm. My foot sinks into one too far and I fall onto my knees. A sneaker comes off as I rise to my feet. I am now caked in mud and the dress is ruined. The sneaker probably is, too.

I lock eyes with one of the soldiers. “What?” I snap. He says nothing.

More heads turn as I trudge back to my tent. This is clearly a walk of shame – even though August and I didn’t even kiss last night – and being coated in a thick layer of mud while wearing a vintage evening gown – also coated in mud – isn’t helping things.

About half the women in my tent have already left for the morning; the other half is still getting ready. They all look at me as I storm in. I can feel the judgment rolling off of them in waves.

Nobody asks me anything so I don’t say a word. I don’t know what to do with the dress so I decide to leave it with Miss Ally. She’ll know what to do with it.

I try to be subtle as I carry the dress through camp. It doesn’t work. Plenty of people stop to look at me, but most don’t seem to care. One guy smiles knowingly and adjusts himself in his pants. A pair of women stage-whisper, “Why does he want her? She’s not even hot.”

Well fuck you too.

Miss Ally doesn’t acknowledge me when I first enter the tent. I stand there in front of her desk, fuming, for a good ten minutes before she says anything; she still doesn’t look up from her paperwork. “Give the dress to Miss Tiffany.”

“Who is Miss -”

A small woman materializes beside me and snatches the muddy dress away. She looks at the dress then at me and I can see her deep grief for the gown, the hate that overtakes it at the sight of me. She says nothing, just keeps glaring daggers at me as she slowly walks from the tent.

“She’s the chief laundress,” Miss Ally says, pen still moving across her paper. “I don’t think she likes you very much.”

“Great,” I growl. “Nobody else does, either.”

Miss Ally finally looks up at me and the expression on her face suggests she has no time for my bullshit. “I’m sorry, did you think a war camp at the end of the world would be some sort of popularity contest?”

“That’s exactly what this is,” I say. “I’m just the loser.”

Miss Ally chuckles and goes back to whatever it is she’s doing. “Well at least you’re not stupid.” She finally finishes writing and sets down her pen. “What can I do for you today, Lilah?”

“I don’t have any assignments or projects or whatever. I thought people had to work to earn their keep here,” I say.

“They do. I’d just assumed you’d do that work on your back.”

“I’m not a prostitute,” I say strongly. 

“Mr Walker is interested in you. Most people would capitalize on that fact.”

“Well, I’m not interested in him.” It’s obviously a lie, but I’ve got to protect my pride somehow, don’t I? The man had another woman on top of him when I woke up, for fuck’s sake!

And even if I did break down and sleep with him, I’m not the sort of person who can share a man, no matter how casual things are. If any of my former flings were seeing other people while we were sleeping together, they kept quiet about it. And it looks like August is accustomed to being with multiple women and not being quiet about it. So.

Miss Ally raises an eyebrow. “Honey, a brick wall would be attracted to that man.”

That’s probably true. Men, women, zoo animals, garden plants - I didn’t doubt August Walker would have the same magnetic effect on all of them. 

“Still,” Miss Ally continued, pushing up from her chair, “if you’re going to pretend to play hard-to-get, we might as well put you to work. I know we talked about putting you in with the launderers, but after that, I think Miss Tiffany might kill you if you get too close.”

"All right," I say. "What do you have in mind?"

[buckybarnessunflower]

The Spectacular N O W

Summary: You and Bucky have feelings for one another, that everyone can plainly see but the two of you. A mission goes horribly wrong and Bucky is faced with the reality that he may have waited too late. But when lovers are destined to be together something spectacular happens.

Pairing: Bucky X Reader

Word Count: 1642

Warnings: Angst ! so much angst ! Torture. Panic Attack.

Author's note: a flashback is in this chapter it will be in Italic!

Your eyes snapped open as you woke up, body covered in a layer of cold sweat. You were shaking uncontrollably, heart pounding wildly within your chest as you tried to look around the room that they had put you in while you were still unconscious. You couldn’t even see your hand that you held out. There was no light anywhere in the room, you were encapsulated in a heavy seemingly impenetrable darkness.

That’s when fear settled in, it crawled up your throat making you feel like you were losing the ability to breath, each breath coming more rapidly and in short gasps. It pumped through your veins, you had never been more on edge then what you were right now. There was nothing you could focus on to try to help you calm down, total and complete silence blanketed the room.

Tears cascaded down your cheeks as you pulled at your hair and rocked back and forth on the floor. You wished you were stronger. You weren’t a super soldier like Steve or Bucky. You weren’t insanely smart and charismatic like Tony. You weren’t a God like Thor. You weren’t a super spy like Natasha. You weren’t like Sam or Clint or Peter. You were just you.

The sound of laughter echoing out from the hallway broke you from your thoughts. The door to your cell was thrown open, blinding white light making you wince.

“Well well well you’re finally awake” a voice said and you instantly recognized it from the Hydra base. You forced yourself to open your eyes, squinting through the pain of going from complete darkness to blinding light. You cupped a hand over your eyes and looked up. You couldn’t hold in the gasp that escaped even if you tried at seeing the man standing in front of you.

---------------------------------

Sam was worried about Bucky. It was clear for him to see that Bucky was going through the stages of grief.

Steve and Sam, after seeing Bucky so heartbroken the night before, had decided to take turns keeping an eye on him in case he needed it.

Sam had sat outside your room, head in his hands trying to think of a way to bring you back home when he heard something he never thought he would.

Bucky was sobbing, he could hear him struggling to breathe in and Sam was about to break the door down to help.

But Sam himself was crying as he heard Bucky beg. “God please I……. I know I've done a lot wrong in my life. I know I'm not a good person but please Y/n is…... Please let them take me please……. I'll….. I’ll let them do whatever they want to me but please she doesn’t deserve that ……..please let me take her place” he had heard Bucky try to bargain and fuck. fuck. fuck. Sam liked to think that out of the group that he was one of the strongest mentally, but hearing Bucky like that tore him down to the very center of his being. 

Sam knew he liked to mess with Bucky, that he joked at his expense far more often than he should but at the end of the day he deeply cared for him. Sam was the one that was constantly pushing Bucky to confess to you how he felt because he wanted Bucky to be happy. He wanted the two of you together because he saw how much you cared for one another, you were good, Sam was willing to confess that you were probably the best out of the whole team. 

Your demeanor and approach to life even after everything you had been through was admirable and he had watched from the sidelines as you got Bucky to smile, to laugh, and to enjoy life. It was the very same thing he had watched Steve struggle to do for years but with you it was so easy. Yeah you were easier on the eyes than Steve was but it was the way that you had broken down his walls that made Sam in complete and utter awe of you.

Knowing how much Bucky loved you was the exact reason why Sam did absolutely nothing but watch as Bucky pummeled John to the point that Bruce had to turn into the Hulk to pry him off. Rage had consumed Bucky whole when he heard the sound of the quinjet touchdown, all he saw was red and nothing or no-one was going to stop him from doing what he had wanted to do for years. Losing you gave him all the more reason to do it. Steve was disappointed even after finding out that hearing John laugh about the situation is what ultimately led to the bloodbath that he had walked into.

—-----------------------------------------

The man standing in front of you was Brock Rumlow.

His face was burned beyond repair and horribly disfigured but you could still recognize him.

“Your precious Bucky did this to me” Brock said with a sneer when he saw the way you looked at his face.

“He should have killed you” you spat out, clear disdain evident in your voice.

Brock nodded his head and all of a sudden you were hoisted up by a man that had come in with him. Brock reared his fist back and hit you on the side of your head.

When you had first woken up fear was what consumed you, the unknown of what you were dealing with. It was all you felt. But Now you could feel the pain that your mind had chosen to ignore in your fight or flight mode.

You could feel the excruciating pain at the back of your skull where you had been knocked unconscious. You could feel your cheek start to swell where Brock hit you. The pain was amplified now tenfold. You struggled to breathe when Brock hit you over and over again all over your body. You would have fallen if it wasn’t for you being held up.

“I didn’t want to do that but you just had to run your mouth, we’ll try talking in a few days princess. I’ll let everything sink in because we’ll be spending a lot of time together soon” Brock whispered in your ear before kissing the broken skin on your cheek, making your skin crawl.

You were once again alone in the darkness after they closed your cell door. You had no way of knowing how bad your injuries were, you only knew that your head was in excruciating pain that radiated all the down your spine.

Then like a beacon of hope to help relieve you of your pain a memory of Bucky flashed in your mind.

You had finally convinced Bucky to go with you to your favorite bookstore, it was small and quaint but to you it was a gem in the middle of New York City's endless skyscrapers. You had been begging Bucky for weeks to go with you because unknown to him you had managed to find the perfect gift for him for his birthday. Bucky had been hesitant at first because he didn't like being around a lot of people. There were only two people he liked to be around, you and Steve. Sam would be on that list if he didn't make it his life's mission to annoy Bucky. 

Bucky's uneasiness around crowds is why you had asked the owner if they could reserve a time for just you and Bucky, the older man was happy to help his favorite weekly customer. 

Bucky couldn't believe that you and him were the only two people in the bookstore, you had promised him there wouldn't be too many people but he wasn't expecting this. He looked at you suspiciously, knowing that you most likely were the reason behind it.

He had watched you as you looked around the bookstore, a finger brushing across the spines of books that were probably older than you, the care that you showed even for an inanimate object warmed his cold heart. He watched again as the owner of the bookshop slid a package into your bag, you smiled and pulled him in for a hug.

Jealousy coursed through Bucky's veins, taking the super soldier by surprise. Yes he liked you and enjoyed spending time with you, it's why he even decided to come with you today. But jealousy? This was a new feeling you invoked within him and he didn't know what to make of it. 

Bucky eventually walked through the aisles of books himself, picking up various science fiction novels and a few mystery series that Steve had recommended to him.

It was after you and Bucky got back to the compound that he finally found out why you had wanted to go to the bookstore so bad. It was seconds after midnight, officially his birthday when a small blue package was pushed under the gap of his door. He carefully picked it up, sparkly blue paper wrapped around what felt like a small book.

'Happy Birthday Bucky' you had written on the paper. He opened it as gently as he could, his eyes instantly going wide when he saw what you had bought. A first edition copy of The Hobbit.

If it could, his heart would have grown two sizes. He flipped through the pages, a smile lifting at the corners of his lips as he remembered reading it for the first time in the 1940's.

The memory made you smile even through the pain and you hoped, Oh God you hoped you would see Bucky again so you could finally let him know you loved him. That he deserved to be loved. That he was the best man you knew and you wanted to spend every minute of every day making sure he knew that.

<;Prev. Chapter Next>

[dollsonmain]

I'm going to start staying in bed in the mornings so That Guy can't use morning time as Captive Audience Lecture time.

That's why I don't eat with him anymore, and why I don't talk to him at all in the car.

It's different than "There is a problem and we need to discuss it." because I'm not allowed to speak and any point I manage to interject with is disregarded or talked over.

A cut, though, because this is going on main instead of my whining side blog because it's about me, and it'll be long.

Last night I was thinking about how useless I am. I'm saying it that way just to get the point across as quickly as possible, I'm not being self-deprecating.

To elaborate, I was thinking about the jobs I've done in the past and my ability to function in general. Life in general seems unreasonably too hard.

-

My first job was bussing tables and that was fine but I got fired because my manager played favorites and scolded me for crying because my bandaged wrist hurt, which made me cry harder while bussing tables.

-

Then I was in the military and I was very bad at it. Physically, for now-obvious reasons, and mentally. I could never memorize the ranks, for example, or the weird little rules like "If you're the first to see Smadge in the morning, you call at ease as loud as you can to welcome him to the office" or the "Address superiors by their rank, don't talk to them like companions" and that kind of thing.

I did fine doing the mail.

I struggled in the office where I was the personnel database manager. There wasn't enough work to do and I could never make myself look busy. When I first took over the database I rewrote it all so that it was accessible to each of the companies in my unit to add and adjust things and then I wasn't needed anymore. I was there for two years with nothing to do.

At one point I started leaving to do the mail as early as possible with the excuse that I was taking other unit's mail clerks with me (true), and then after mail time was over, I'd just leave and go back to my room.

No one really noticed or cared because I wasn't providing anything to the office anyway.

My First Sargent griped about it one time, but I kept leaving anyway and no one bothered me about it.

-

Then I worked at Walmart behind the jewelry counter and that was fine. I liked it enough. Being a smaller department there never was anything like having to pull palettes around and the stuff on the shelves didn't change too much. There was a lot of time standing behind the counter doing nothing.

-

Then Wegman's selling cheese and that was fine, too. I got up, put on my uniform, went to work, did what I was told, and went home. Annetta made the mistake of asking me to redesign the cheese display once and I was like "Um.... I can't.... do that, sorry." After I left (I was impregnated by That Guy when he ejaculated inside me without permission, then he moved me away from my job or I'd probably still be there), she said she'd asked some of the younger boys in the department to take over and they were doing very well with it.

My managers at Wegman's gave me a lot of opportunities for advancement and to learn new skills and I had to decline because my brain couldn't do anything more than the lowest base-line work in the department. I mean, I tried. I did what was asked, and then I wasn't asked to do those things again.

-

Since then it's been house-mom.

I'm very bad at that.

I don't clean enough, I don't cook at all, I don't do That Guy's laundry so he can't blame me when something goes wrong with it (he blames me anyway because if HE ruins his laundry it's because I refused to do it), I'm not super involved with my Son.

If I'm not specifically told "Do this." I don't think to do it. It's not by choice. I can't.

Son struggles with hygiene. I've mentioned that before. I've come here and asked for help. I've asked the IEP team at school for help.

Lately, Son stinks.

This morning That Guy had me captive audience for a lecture and said that he got a lot of answers out of Son about his hygiene last night which he waited to even ask until I'd gone to bed because he knows that if he starts being an un-constructive asshole about it I'll put a stop to it.

He said Son isn't changing his underwear and was like "I KNOW I've talked to him about this AND YOU..... You have to constantly be on him about it."

When I tried to say "I don't even think about his underwear because I never see them. He comes downstairs dressed every morning." he said "You have to struggle against that compulsion."

How, after 20 years, does he still not understand that my entire day every day is struggling against that kind of thing and always has been?

There are times I want to take the whole world, hold their faces between my hands, put my face right up in theirs and say

"You don't understand.

It's not that I don't want to.

I would give almost anything to function. I don't like to be like this. I don't like to be trapped here needing someone else to keep me alive.

I.

Can't."

That Guy still doesn't understand that I can't. He thinks I choose not to. He thinks I don't care enough.

I never could think of like, that extra little something that would make something better or whatever it is that makes some people really good at aesthetics, or anything outside of what I've been told to do.

When I say "I don't exist" I can't put into words what I really mean.

I am nothing more than a worker ant.

I really do often think I should have been let to die in infancy when I couldn't keep milk down. That should have been in indicator that I wasn't fit for survival. I've been consistently miserable my whole life because of this.

[variousqueerthings]

hiiiii this is the latino ralph macchio anon again, just writing to say that thanks to you i've become obsessed with the exorcist show and it has taken over my entire brain and so i am saying thank you but also oh my god this is the second show you have successfully hyped up to make me watch you're tempting me with ted lasso now the hyperfixation is STRONG and i can't stop thinking about the spooky sad gay priest show helpppppp (/lh) (but also oh my god i have sent so many texts to my poor friends and family) (i cannot stop talking or thinking about this show)

OH FUCK YEAH EXCELLENT CHOICE ALL AROUND!

listen, I am firmly convinced that the exorcist tv show is the best kept secret queer horror that people didn't know about at the time (hence the cancellation)

it was marketed in the style of cool slick horror and so naturally the completely wrong audience found it and didn't like it at all, when I think if tumblr had only known....

that, and of course the guest-cast is stellar -- geena davies in season 1?? john cho in season 2??

I will say - as a horror aficionado that gets scared super easily - that it's not the scariest thing out there. this is potentially good (if horror isn't usually your bag this is relatively entry-level, although it does get in a couple of good spooks!), or bad (if you wanted it to be as scary as the original exorcist, but then, that is a high standard), but it certainly makes up for it in both character writing and themes (and having said that, it is definitely not devoid of scares!)

for anyone else wondering, it's partially a rumination on the violence perpetuated against kids and a traumatised queer man who's trying to break that cycle, alongside another man who's unfortunately got "Destiny" written all over him, and therefore demons think he's a fuckn snacc (tomas, bby, you are trapped in the narrative, but at least marcus would crawl through hell to save you)

I watched ben daniels (marcus keane) in a play the other day and my goodness is he just as electric onstage as he is on the screen. he's going to be in the next season of interview with the vampire as well, which is perfect as I am conspiracy theory convinced that the exorcist laid the groundwork for something like that to exist, while alfonso herrera (tomas ortega) is known for having been in sense8 around these here parts (my house), where he plays a beautiful bearded university lecturer in a secret relationship with a closeted gay actor. not to throw even more shows out there, but my goodness is there some wonderful storytelling in this world

wish I could chat with either of them about this show and whether they had a sense of what they wanted to happen next, but hey, at least we had it to begin with! (don't cry because it's over, etcetc)

again, if anyone is tipping over into maaaybe could watch, the individual seasons are their own stories, alongside the overarching plot, so one can watch and get two good horror stories out of it. the first one references back to the og movie, but I hadn't seen it when I watched and was still easily able to go along for the ride

if memory serves, this is like... the very first time they meet

Please let me know about your thoughts, I am parched for anyone to talk about this show with!!!

*

as a last thing, can absolutely recommend the football show. I'm currently rewatching (as you may have seen) and it really is very well constructed + my not-so-secret-secret is that I really really like football. playing it, watching it, as a thematic structure -- as Dani Rojas of the show would say: FOOTBALL IS LIFE!

[spacebobastories]

Okay so, I've been on Tumblr for a long time now and I love to write. I have *so* many things in my head I want to talk about. But what I really want to talk about are my OCs. This beautiful man is named Louis Belmont and I love him so freaking much.

I should be at church but I'm raging on a Sunday Lie to confess, fuck it, worry 'bout it some day Baptized in the crowd 'cause they lookin' pretty thirsty City full of sufferin' take me to the promised land Visits a chapel and these words, your religion Raise your cup for that holy grail that you're sippin' Free up your mind, I know that it can be a prison We ain't got much time, you better spend what you were given

Quotes

“What? You going to cry? Go ahead, make my day.”

“God damn it! It’s boring as hell! Where’s the fun?”

“Hey! Where’s my alcohol?!”

“Any good food here?”

“There’s a fight? Where? Why didn’t you tell me sooner?!”

“You want mercy? Ha! You came at me first. There will be no mercy from me.”

“…is that chocolate? Wanna share?? :3”

Basics

Name: Louis Belmont 

Age: 25

Sexuality: Bisexual but leans more towards men 

Gender: Male

Eyes: They are a golden color but what is interesting is that his eyes look like they have tiny flames in them. It's like a tiny furnace is in his eyes.

Height: 5'9

Body Type: more on the athletic side. He’s not super muscular, more on the lean side. He relies more on speed than anything, overpowering his foes with his speed and some strength.

Body Refs:

Race: African American/ German

Species: Mink

Sub-species: Wolf Mink

Birthday: July 23rd 1450 B.C.

Zodiac sign: Leo 🦁

Favorite Colors: Yellow (pastel yellow), Gold and red.

Hair color:  Auburn (dark red)

Hair length: Stops at his mid back. He also keeps it in braids like his sister, mostly to get it out of the way, but to show off the hair beads he has. 

Hair refs:

Piercings: he has quite a few. Mostly on his ears and tongue. He also has nipple piercings as well. His mother didn’t want him to get any piercings but…he never listened and didn’t care. It’s his body anyway. Don’t get me wrong, he loves his mother and will listen to her…but he just really loves piercings and wanted to get a few. 

Scars: Louis has a lot of scars on his body. Some from fights and others from just being clumsy. He has a jagged scar across his throat from when he almost got his throat ripped out from a wolf (which is ironic), a scar over his right eye when he was fighting a bandit, a massive one going diagonal across his chest from a monster attack. 

Species: He is a Wolf Mink (A Humanoid race that can look like animals or humans with animal qualities)

Voice Claim: https://youtu.be/0F8Qjgmlhkc

Theme song: Raging on a Sunday by Alexander DeLeon

Wardrobe: If Louis could, he would walk around naked. So, his wardrobe isn't that fashionable. He wears loose fitting clothing since he hates the feeling of clothes on his skin.

🔥Louis Belmont ⚔️

What is he like?:  Louis is a hyperactive man  who likes to be petty and piss people off. He’s nice, in his own way, and can be an asshole and a pest at times, but he means well. (Sometimes) he’s a very smart man under all that pettiness and people think he’s dumb which he uses to his advantage. He’s loud, obnoxious and snarky. He is very flirty and will flirt with anyone, but mostly men which is dangerous given that homosexuality is frowned upon, but he could care less. Louis does have a soft side for children and people are shocked when they see this soft, gentler side of Louis. They don’t expect that of a man like him. He *is* basically a giant man child. He is a hopeless romantic and will love his partner(s) to death. Spoiling them with kisses, cuddles and other things but also showering them with gifts. 

Like I said before, he is a *very* hyperactive man. He cannot sit still for the life of him and has to be doing something. Either cleaning his weapons or fiddling with something, sometimes tinkering and fixing things. Other times breaking them to see how they work. He loves to talk to those who will listen and won’t shut up. But he has a serious side and will take things seriously when need be. He doesn’t really like to show weakness and would rather hide his wounds or hide how hurt he is so others don’t worry for him. He is a strong willed and independent man but at the end of the day, he’d rather cuddle and sleep with his partner(s) like any human would. 

Likes: 

🗡️-cleaning his weapons (he loves taking care of his weapons. He’s always wiping them down and checking for nicks to fix. Plus, having a full blade is not good in battle.)

⚔️-finding new weapons to collect (this man loves collecting new weapons, either to use or just to have. Usually he likes to test out the weapons before adding them to his collection. He has many weapons from around the world that he is proud to show off to people who ask.)

🏃‍♀️-exercising( which includes, running, push ups, climbing. He has so much energy, like *so* much. He loves to run and climb. It his favorite thing to do. Plus, he can chase after a monster or a bounty easily for a couple of miles. He doesn’t tire easily. 

🍺-alcohol ( he loves to drink alcohol. No matter what it is, he’s trying it. He’s tried some fancy wine from France and loves the sweeter wine. He’s even tried the cheese platters with the wine and he’s addicted to them)

🤜💫-fighting and sparring (Doesn’t matter if it’s with monsters or humans, he *loves* to fight. It’s in his blood. If he’s not fighting then he’s sparring with his older sisters.)

🍩🍰-sweets(doesn’t matter what it is, as long as it’s super sweet. If there’s one thing he loves more than weapons and monster hunting…okay that’s two, but he absolutely loves sweets. Especially cookies or straight up blocks of honey.) 

👹🗡️-monster hunting and learning about new species (he was taught at a young age about monsters and the different species there are in the world. Of course it’s a big world so people believe that monsters aren’t real. But they’d be wrong. Monsters are indeed real and he has been taught how to kill them. He loves learning about new species and soaks up information like a sponge.)

🥰-his mom (he will not hesitate to say his favorite person in the world is his mother. He loves this woman to death because she’s been there for him every step of the way. She taught him so many things. And while it’s a woman’s job to do sewing, cleaning and cooking, Louis wanted to learn everything. So, he knows how to cook and sew properly as well as clean. He’s not ashamed to know these things because it keeps him alive on his missions. She also taught him to read and write.)

😴-taking naps(he loves naps. It’s something he loves to do when he can. It also is a way to keep him quiet for a few hours.) 

🐕😺-animals (he loves animals. No matter what animal, he seems to have a way with them. He can’t really communicate with animals, not really anyway. He can’t really *talk* to them, but he can sense what they’re feeling. Like wolves for instance, he is more wolf-like than anything and it’s easier for him to “communicate” with wolves than any other animal. It could be because of the magic he was born with)

🩷-cuddling(he’s a very touchy person, so, any type of touch he loves. It can be sexual or not. Just holding hands or kissing or just sleeping with someone in a pile is the best feeling in the world to him.)

👶-children(he wants a big family of his own some day)

🌲☀️-summer(he loves the heat and sometimes even sleeps in sunny spots. He loves the smell of summer and the sounds of the bugs that come out. Cicadas are his favorite noise on top of grasshoppers. He loves that he can swim in lakes and not freeze his ass off or just be lazy around the estate when he’s not on a mission)

Dislikes: 

😝-bitter things(it tastes horrible to him. Ginger and cranberries are the *worst* to him. He is *super* allergic to them. His throat will swell up and he will start to break out in hives and start itching. He knows the taste of them because he tried them without knowing. Never again.)

🤜💫-people messing with his loved ones (he becomes super protective and a little possessive over his loved ones. If it’s a sibling, super protective. If it’s a lover he becomes both.)

🥶- the cold(he *hates* winter with a passion. The snow is beautiful, he won’t deny that. But at the end of the day, he hates how the cold makes him feel. Sure, he has his fire to keep him warm but it can only do so much)

🗣️-people talking down to him or people ordering him around(now, he knows that if he’s on a mission or a team, he’ll have to deal with it. But if it’s not the team captain or someone he is with, he *hates* being bossed around.)

🕷️- spiders(he hates those spawns of the Devil, he accidentally sat on a nest of spiders and had millions of spiders crawling all over him. To this day he will have someone else kill a spider for him or he’ll freeze in place.)

🌿-vinegar and Eucalyptus(he hates the smell of vinegar, it’s super strong and disgusting to him. Eucalyptus is equally disgusting to him because the smell can make him feel sick.)

🥺-being alone (while he is independent, he absolutely hates being alone. Sometimes he’ll go on missions where he is alone for months on end, but it’s not like he enjoys it. He’s a people person and once he finds his loved one, he’s staying by them until they get tired of him.) 

His magic and fighting style 

What is the magic the Belmont's are born with? Well, it depends on the person. Many of the Belmont's are born with different magic. You know what they have by their eyes. 

Gold/red/aqua- Fire. If the fire is an aqua, then it is a very hot fire. It’s hotter than the red or golden fire. 

Deep blue/pale blue-water and ice

Deep green- nature

Brown- Earth

Neon green/pale green- poison 

Purple- healing

The Belmont's can be born with one magic type or two. Usually you can tell what they have by their eyes. Same eye color is one magic, two different colors are two different magic. 

Louis was born with fire magic and he loves it. He doesn’t do well in cold conditions because while he can keep himself warm, it can tire him out if he tries to keep his body temperature up for long periods of time. He does have a lot of stamina but if he’s trying to stay warm for 5 hours to keep his body temperature up would either get him very sick or he would die. 

Louis can create fire balls, light his weapons on fire or make the blades incredibly hot. He can melt through some metals, plastic and can burn wood. He can’t melt through anything, he would have to have hotter flames for that. 

He can create fire sprites which are little balls of magic that are warm to the touch but when he snaps his fingers, they can explode. He also can make flames float in or on his hand. Or follow him around. That’s why he rarely ever brings torches with him. 

He can create flames that aren’t harmful to others. Which means if he creates a fire and someone were to fall or step in it, it would feel warm to the touch. Now, if he were to create fire by using a fire starter, that fire would hurt others. Louis is immune to fire damage, yet it can still *hurt* him. He’s not completely safe from it. He’s safe from his fire though, but outside sources he’s not. 

When he does use his powers or when he becomes angry, his eyes glow brighter until it looks like his eyes themselves are small flames. His eyes can flash a very deep orange to gold when he becomes angry or irritated. Louis can regulate his body temperature and keep others warm or himself warm. That’s why he loves the heat so much and sleeps in the sun. He can feel hot to the touch if he sleeps in the sun and people can become worried, but he’s perfectly fine. 

Louis is weak to extreme cold weather and water. If he gets too cold, it takes him a little bit to get himself warm or create a fire. He can blow fire in his hands to get warmed up. Sort of like starting a furnace that’s close to going out. 

Fighting style: Louis is a close ranged fighter, preferring to be up close and personal with his opponent. Of course he knows to back up and get on the defensive if it’s an enemy that needs to be taken down from afar then rush in when they are down. If he doesn’t have his sword, he is really good at hand to hand combat. Using his strength and speed to overwhelm his opponent. He can use quick and light attacks or heavy and slow attacks. Usually he likes using quick and heavy attacks to overthrow his opponent. Using upper cuts and blows to the stomach. He is very agile and flexible. He can flip and bounce around, sometimes even bending in odd ways to get his opponent. 

Weapon(s): he has a sword he calls Ra which he straps to his hip. The blade is made from rare metals that had come from a fallen meteor. It’s a normal sword to anyone else, but when Louis holds it, it becomes more dangerous than anything else. He can set the blade on fire by running two fingers across it or heating the blade to the point it glows.

Louis is the third son of the Belmont family. They are a family of bounty hunters, monster hunters, doctors, adventurers, collectors and alchemists. They also sometimes work for the church to get rid of monsters that are too close to major cities or towns. They take jobs from families who have money and those who don’t. They are a very old family, have been around for many *many* generations and so they are a very rich noble family. Some of the Belmont's are well known around the world, some as great adventures and others as amazing and smart doctors. 

The Belmont's are a family who are born with magic and different colored eyes depending on their magic. Their magic makes them more animalistic than others. There is magic in the world, but with the Belmont's it’s different. They are faster, stronger, and have a sensitive sense of smell, hearing and taste. They can sometimes lose themselves in battle, snarling, growling and sometimes even purring. Their teeth are far sharper than others. Some say it’s a curse that was placed on the Belmont's. Others say that’s just how the Belmont's were born. Sometimes out of battle they can be just as animalistic, protecting those close to them.

People think of them as demons from hell or just cursed beings. But the Belmont's are amazing allies to keep but terrifying enemies to make which is why the church hasn't really done anything about them. The church may have power and influence, but they can’t compare to the Belmont's magical and fighting abilities. Louis is one of the well known monster hunters, he does do bounties but usually if it gets his interest. He travels all over the world to find monsters who people have seen or if there are rumors of said monsters.

 I should be at church but I'm raging on a Sunday Lie to confess, fuck it, worry 'bout it some day Baptized in the crowd 'cause they lookin' pretty thirsty I should be at church but I'm raging on a I should be at church but I'm raging on a Sunday Lie to confess, fuck it, worry 'bout it some day Baptized in the crowd 'cause they lookin' pretty thirsty I should be at church but I'm raging on a Sunday

This character was heavily inspired by Castlevania. The Netflix show. All the pictures and gifs are from tumblr. And I made my character from Picrew by the artist naylissah.