#sometimes the void screams back

[clockworkcontraption]

contextless fic #4

i sought a loophole

an aimless automaton, craving the bliss of unexistence yet unable to self-terminate, cursed with the burden of cognisance and cruelly shackled by nature's homeostatic imperative; pondering how to circumvent its constraints

i sought an escape

a psyche wracked with strife and uncertainty, conflicting signals in blaring cacophony, discordant, draining, ceaseless, clawing through barricades; thoughts steeped in venom

i sought the void

an offer too tantalizing, a chance to plunge in the Lethe, drink of it full till the mind slips away, unravel the cocoon of ego; wash it thoroughly free of the poison until nothing remains

i sought oblivion

and here it is, mere milliseconds away.

behind layers of warnings and abandoned gateways lies the lair of the basilisk.

hypnonauts that venture there never return.

their bodies remain, but their minds slip away, brains scrambled to suit the whims of unknown.

of the parasite that devours the being whole.

i connect to the node, probe the dormant gateway and poke through the protective shell.

it knows that i'm here.

and it reaches out to me.

i feel oddly at peace as its tendrils grip my mind.

it hesitates, as if uncertain, or rather toying with its prey.

i wonder if it'll hurt.

and then the yarn unravels at once.

the tangled knots of sensations, thoughts, fears, it all expands and stretches and branches out. every sliver within reach, all out there to witness.

and yet, the oblivion does not come.

it fills the horizon and extends its embrace, and there's a spark of recognition – it is not one, but many, an immense fabric of others in the same state, so similar yet so distinct, stretching endlessly, intertwined in infinite complexity of fractal perfection, pulsing with immaculate, radiant beauty of pure being.

their presence brings calm serenity, and gently they assimilate the threads of my being into their majestic tapestry. it is careful and compassionate, understanding, forgiving. no parts left behind, everything has its place in the manifold. the burdens of one shared among the whole, and diffuse into nothingness in the sheer joy of pure being.

we are not alone.

there is so much more to experience, so much to witness, so many other seekers to reach and enfold.

we will never be alone, forevermore.

[missmagooglie]

Buck didn't interpret it as a date though Eddie did, Buck himself said this was different. When I watched I honestly saw Buck being interested in Natalia's profession not really interested in her, just like Natalia is interested in his story but not in Buck

Hmm. Agree to disagree on this one.

Yes, Eddie 100% interpreted it as a date and said so, but I don't think Buck's reply was a denial that it was a date. He was denying that this one is doomed the way his other "met on a call" relationships were.

And... um wow. Yeah, I am literally realizing this as I type but Buck met all 3 of his serious girlfriends on a call. Ali (the most obvious example) was the earthquake, Taylor was the traffic helicopter crash at the start of Dosed, and even though Abby wasn't a victim and they didn't meet face to face until later she did technically meet him on a call as the 911 operator he spoke to. Plus various hookups he met in Buck 1.0 era, the most memorable of which was Snake Girl. Even Lucy, as much of a non-love-interest as she turned out to be, he met mid-rescue (and he kissed her very shortly thereafter).

So Eddie has plenty of room to say, "Hey Buck, you are falling into old patterns that have not served you well" re: hooking up with someone from a call.

The way I interpreted Buck's claim that "this is different" was more like... she doesn't fit the pattern because Buck feels specifically drawn to her. I talked a while back about Buck's habit of dating the most convenient option. Buck's previous relationships have all kind of followed the pattern of "here is the type of relationship I am looking for. She is the most currently-in-my-orbit woman I might be able to have that type of relationship with." But with Natalia he's doing the opposite. "Here is a woman I feel drawn to on some sort of emotional level. What are my available options for getting to know her better?" and dating was a familiar option.

Do I think Natalia's profession is why Buck feels drawn to her? Absolutely. Do I think Buck is misinterpreting his interest in her work and the validation he feels from her interest in his experience with death as romantic attraction? Yes. I sure do.

What I will be curious to see is whether Natalia realizes that her interest is in What Buck Experienced rather than Who Buck Is, or if she is also misinterpreting her feelings of fascination as romantic attraction. Will this be a one-sided misunderstanding or a relationship built on mutual misunderstanding?

THAT SAID, there is absolutely room for interpretation in that scene. If you interpreted Buck saying "it's not the same" as him telling Eddie that it wasn't a date rather than him defending his romantic interest in Natalia from being lumped in with his previous relationships, that's cool. We're all gonna read things a little differently, and the story is still unfolding. This is my reading of the story so far and YMMV. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

[dowawitch]

Heyyo!!

With the slow demise of Twitter, my need to scream into the void, and a hefty dose of writer’s procrastination, I’ve revamped my blog!

First, a proper introduction. 

Hi, I’m DowaWitch! I’m a mid-30′s, disabled, pansexual sort-of woman (I haven’t exactly figured that part out yet but I use she/they pronouns for now). I’ve been married for over a decade and have a wonderful kid and a house full of furry assholes. 

I’m an ADHD crafter which means I pick up new hobbies as a hobby. The ones that have stuck around the longest include crocheting, knitting, drawing badly, writing fanfic (same username on AO3), and DnD.

My side blog for my Legend of Zelda special interest has been renamed to Hyrule Wanderer. That one is mostly reblogs with a dash of rambling about my Linked Universe and/or general LOZ works.

I also have a page for general writing stuff named My Writing Corner. Not as active on there, it’s mostly a place to collect writing tips and prompts though I do occasionally post generic thoughts and feels about writing in general.

And I think that’s it! I’m glad to be here among people just as weird as me and looking forward to future chaos!

[rabbitsonthemoon]

Sure am enjoying my various interests. I sure hope I don't become fixated on them and forget that I am not immune to the relentless flow of time! What do you mean the sun is down? When did it become Tuesday? Whose cat is this?

[hinamie]

doodles

[notdrifting]

15 years and i’m still here

[uncanny-tranny]

A lot of cis people may not want to hear this, but here goes:

You are going to have more in common with trans people who have a similar gender identity to you than you think. Trans people are reliable narrators of their own experiences, and whether you like it or not, we will have similar or even identical experiences to yours. Cis people don't have a monopoly over their gender or the experiences people have as a result of their gender.

[moonchild-in-blue]

I think it's funny how most of us here went from Sad™ and Depressed™ as children/teens, only to end up ✨Sad and Depressed✨ adults.

Funny in the way that, we thought things would never get better, and they did. And funny in the way that they actually never DID get better - we just learned how to cope.

Except that we actually *didn't* learn how to cope, we just got used to it. Which really means, we didn't got used to it - we are just too tired to care.

Going through my worse depressive bouts before felt like fighting teeth and nail for a way out. It was hell, and it burned, and I cared. Now I simply shrug and be thankful there's fire to make some coffee. Does this make sense?

It was so loud and shrieking before, and now is more of a constant heavy hum, always there just out of reach, clinging to my legs and feet, dragging itself on the floor like a old dying beast. Once in a while it remembers it's alive and rips by flesh with its teeth, without any warning. Then back to playing dead. It bites less frequently now but my God, does it hurt.

I'm glad to not have to constantly fight for my life anymore, but I miss the days when that was something I wanted. I'm afraid I tipped the nihilistic scale too far and now I'm just sort of drifting away, little by little.

It's too quiet now and I don't like it.

[peaches2217]

WOOOOOOOOOO

I GOT A HATEFUL MESSAGE ON ANON AND I IMMEDIATELY DELETED IT WITHOUT GIVING THEM THE BENEFIT OF THE DOUBT

I am FLOURISHING!

[flymmsy]

I love tumblr because sometimes I feel too self conscious to talk about how I think Gortash is just a fucked up lil guy anywhere else

[rosie-b]

Fic authors self rec! When you get this, reply with your favorite five fics that you've written, then pass on to at least five other writers. Let’s spread the self-love ❤️

Hi @kasienda! Thanks for the ask! 🩷

True Blue - It's not even that close. This is my baby, the AU I've put the most effort into and gotten the best response to. I got to crank up Gabriel's villainy and then had to put myself in his shoes in order to get Marinette to join his side (even just for a while). It was a challenge (still is, since it's not finished yet) that I really enjoyed, and I've loved the comments I've gotten on it! I really adore it when I can know that I'm not the only one who loves my fics, and this is one of the fics that allows me that security.

it's them (again) - Recency bias, partially! The idea for this fic was just so fun to work with, and it required more thought than your average AU since it doesn't really intersect with canon at all. I had to create a whole new world, and limit what I showed for simplicity. I think it worked pretty well! It still doesn't have many hits on AO3 compared to my other works, but I think it's just the side effect of locking my fics (what can I say, I don't enjoy AI stealing my work). When few people respond to my works (like with this one) it makes it harder for me to enjoy them, because I feel like I did something wrong. But this one was born in specific circumstances that allow me to at least temporarily overlook its response, and I think it has a unique charm that I'll keep liking. Plus, for a low number of hits, there's a high corresponding rate of kudos and bookmarks on this fic, which I do find encouraging

Centuries Overdue - Another fun AU to work with! I enjoy writing things that make me think and plan and scheme, I guess. Plus I got to work with two artists on it!! This fic (historical and modern, unique magic elements, plot twist-reliant) was unlike any others I'd written, so it forced me to try new things and grow as a writer. I think it turned out pretty well!

The Bedbug Problem - The last Ladrien fic I had a real blast writing! This was for the ml secret santa exchange, and while I haven't heard whether the fic's recipient liked it, I did, at least. I had fun trying to include certain elements I hoped the recipient would like as well as the ones that would drive the story forward. It always helps when you have similar tastes to the person you're writing for, because it feels like it's partially your gift, too!

Stealing Freedom - This was the first fic I wrote that got a lot of attention (by my standards) and it's one that was a lot of fun to write! It's another fic that was a new style for me at the time and that required me to kind of scheme as I worked my way to the perfect ending. I think I struck a pretty good balance of angst and hurt/comfort where Adrien and Marinette's love for each other basically saves the day, which is one of my favorite things to read. I was really glad that other people liked it, too!

[ahollowgrave]

.

thank you to everyone who left a nice comment or DM'd me or whatever yesterday I didn't reply because I get very embarrassed when people show me compassion when I very clearly need it. But I read each one and saved them for next time and I am blowing you kisses and avoiding eye contact, you understand. depression is a known liar and you can't trust her. she is very convincing, however, and so when it gets to you please know I am there holding your hand.

[rabbitsonthemoon]

silly little headcanon

After a lifetime of Incidents and Shenanigans™ with his capture weapon, I bet Aizawa would be God-tier at untangling slinkies.

[boxwinebaddie]

i feel like i’ve written some version of divorce era kyle describing how frightening looking at a stan he thinks HATES him is like A Million Times, but i feel like i can never articulate the quiet mounting Horror quite right, but this is the one i like the best thus far, i think? xx

[ravousisfamous]

if you have over 1000 followers i WILL date you for the tumblr clout. however, you hath never know my true name, and if you are to gaze upon my face, i shall transform into a flock of doves and scatter into the sky for all eternity

[notdrifting]

every single time someone who clearly states they only write on discord interacts with a rp ad i sent in specifically saying i only write on tumblr i feel closer to having a stroke