#sorry 4 the long post pals

[37q]

thank you so much for the sources and directives wrt tara :) i'm not a buddhist (yet?) but i've been reading a lot about the female deities of dharmic traditions, shaktism, the Mahavidya, etc. and honestly the idea of being heard, understood and protected by an all-powerful feminine entity feels like salvation to me right now. like, i crave tara's Liberation more than any other gift or miracle she could give me atm lol how did you get into buddhism and the tara practice btw?

my dearly unacquainted your words struck a chord in my chest. i hope you read this, its for you and me and everyone like us.

the search for liberation is endless and i hope tara can show you how to break the cycle. please, read this message as a journey. if i play u the melody, can you hear the karmic harmonies?

i got into buddhism because im a woman who refuses to be one. growing up trying to be something thats harmful to myself and others, where everyones place in line comes from hideous cruelty, covert or otherwise, and being trained under social conditions which ultimately seek to accelerate mass suffering via systemic domination -- that all made me a little sensitive to the idea of anything being "fixed".

maybe i should say -- i craved impermanence. please dont let this be innate. this cant be forever. what i am, everything thats been done to me, all their pain. i saw my pain everywhere else, in everyone else. i saw my pain before and after me, i saw everyones pain in their walk in life and i saw the pain held over our heads. it was hard not to see it as connected, like everyone is just clinging to our histories of interdependent pain and it makes us who we are. gender made it obvious, although thats a basic benefit of feminist standpoint epistemology.

i got into buddhism because in order to survive i needed a respite from the systemic suffering caused by social attachments. gender, like all phenomena, must be impermanent or people like us are doomed. fundamentally i wanted a world of compassion and empathy, forgiveness and change. buddhism offers such a path. despite my desire for it to serve as a refuge from gendered violence however, its clear that there is a current of antifeminism or general misogyny present in many sanghas. i recoiled more into cycles of womanhood once i felt my status as a human mightve been called into question.

stranger, do me a favor? pause and read tara's vow, reflect on all this a bit before going on.

do you know what bodhicitta is? its the endeavor to achieve true liberation, buddhahood, for the sake of all living beings. the pursuit of ending the suffering of all living beings, only reaching liberation with everyone else. returning with each life to the suffering world of samsara, bound by the restraints of our worlds attachments. remember this.

i found my way to chenrezigs lineage and the impacts of his legacy as bodhisattva of compassion. ohhhh how important buddhist compassion has been to me. always aiming for selflessness but avoiding habitual nihilism. dissolution rather than destruction, seeing through the conditions and loving the emptiness inside.

(recommended reading for the next part isnt dharma, its monique wittigs One Is Not Born A Woman.)

my first step in finding female solace in a doctrine of non-attachment was with his female form known to some as guanyin, or guanshiyin, who hears the cries of the world. she always lacked a certain... bite my practice needed. in my experience emancipatory compassion is disruptive sometimes. we connected, dont get me wrong, but it was hard to separate her pacifism from the training ive received in gendered submission.

well, then i found green tara, or she found me or something, not to get too new age-y. guanyin, the surveyor and listener, contrasted with tara, already stepping out to take action. my personal relationship with her is one whose compassion cuts through my karma. deep enough compassion tears down the walls of our attachments.

ive always been troubled to find this-world radical applications of the dharma, or to find this-world radicalism in the dharma itself. reproducing the gendered self by looking for reflections of my social conditions in a god is not radical, but dissolving the self without addressing these unjust social conditions isnt radical either...

in her vow, that tara returns. just like any other bodhisattva she heeds the constraints of her rebirth and transforms those chains into a vehicle of liberation. the "karma" of womanhood is a mere microcosm of samsara's suffering, she says, and as a bodhisattva she is an expert in engineering mechanisms of suffering into dharmic opportunities.

that womanhood, that divine femininity we see in her. ugh. such an illusion -- we project it in others minds! such falsehood -- its conceptual boundaries dont reflect reality! such conditionality -- in ourselves, throughout history, how we enact it! such instability -- we require life long conditioning and policing to maintain its peaceful performance!

stranger, do me another favor? read through the short green tara practice. meditate on what it means to look for solace in divine reflections.

do you know why the bulk of even basic tantric visualization practices are inaccessible to the uninitiated? two examples. one is that it requires education and training in action rooted in dharma versus action rooted in attachment. another is that it requires a deep understanding of emptiness.

when you look for tara youre looking for help. you need the second part of a hug. youre in crisis, and you need to get out. total solitude and nowhere left to turn. we reach this point in our lives where we can barely even find joy within ourselves, so we look for transcendental salvation elsewhere.

tantric practices employ, for the sake of this piece, two basic assumptions. one is that yidam visualization, such as with tara, manifests the persisting merits of the yidam nondually, so neither from within or without. another is that desire can serve dharmic purposes when not rooted in attachment.

lets revisit visualization. when you look for tara you look for help. you look for someone like you, as stable as divinity can get. she is separate from you, yet you see yourself in her.

visualization takes that projection a step beyond via what some call "manifestation", and so that requisite understanding of emptiness comes into play here, as does the knowledge of desire not rooted in attachment. it requires a practitioner with no self from which to draw attachments in their work. so i want you to listen closely.

when youre more attached to your karmic conditions than you are to liberation, you will bring that suffering with you in your path.

read that again. i am explicitly warning you from finding feminine solace in tara.

returning to samsara ad infinitum, rebirth only as a woman, manifesting taras protection, these actions seek to abolish the processes which allow their existence. to end the cycle of rebirth, to end the cycle of reproducing gender in our liberation, to end the cycle of reproducing the self and the god. these actions require you to dissolve their fundamental, impermanent dualities before you can free yourself with them.

when you attempt to visualize tara while still clinging to an impermanent sense of self such as with gender, she loses all emancipatory potential. her merit twists, soiled with your attachments to a divinely persisting feminine, female, or womanhood, serving only to reproduce those mechanisms of suffering within you.

i want you to interrogate these little things you do to feel better about your suffering in life. please, acknowledge that gender causes suffering. whether it be its systemic enforcement or because of our attachment to something ultimately impermanent, please recognize that looking to deify something so fraught will only hurt you.

ask tara where one can even find refuge on a sinking ship. ask her how she found liberation in something meant to subjugate. start to wonder where all the answers are coming from, doubt your sanity, try to find the border between yourself and her and find nothing. find that everywhere else, too.

dearly unacquainted your search is your karma. your findings will be your karma. tara asks you to stop searching, stop finding. she will show you the dead end, and i ask that you address that proactively rather than keep digging.

reblogging with links to side reading :)

[sophieinwonderland]

Now, why would you dare me to embarrass you and your pals like that?

I appreciate how you wanted my attention so bad you posted me to not one, but two subreddits.

Makes a girl feel special! 🤣

I have actually never seen Wikipedia cited as a source about endogenic plurality. Though I do see anti-endos all the time, when asked for sources, telling people to just Google things.

Anyway, here's @guardianssystem's document filled with academic papers about endogenic plurality:

I've compiled my own, but honestly, theirs is better organized than mine.

And in the interest of fairness, here are all the anti-endo papers debunking endogenic plurality:

Sorry, I forgot. Those don't exist. Oops. 🤷‍♀️

Echo chamber? LOL!

Weren't you the one spouting a bunch of lies on Tumblr, got totally debunked, posted the people who debunked you to r/systemscringe to have a hugbox where fakeclaimers could assure you how the people who contradicted you are all fakers, and then blocked everyone who disagreed with you?

Weren't you also the one who, when shown a quote from an expert in dissociative disorders who worked on the DSM-5 saying that a disorder isn't a disorder if it doesn't cause distress, argued that the people who defined what disorder are must be wrong about that definition?

You're a misinformation machine who can only find support when huddled in cringe subreddits. Don't try to talk about people in echo chambers.

Also, you know most of psychology is just... listening to people? That's how it's been as long as the field existed. DID (or MPD at the time) was a recognized disorder since long before the first brain scans were conducted on DID patients. It's saying something though when basically every single scientist who has ever researched endogenic plurality has said they believe it's a real thing, or that it could be. While absolutely zero academic papers have expressed that it's fake.

There is also an fMRI study into tulpa systems that's been in the works, but results have yet to be published.

Sure, if that's what you'd like me to call you, Crazy. 😊

Anyway, Crazy, you should know that just because you personally find something scary doesn't mean everyone will or that the thing is bad. Personal preferences are a thing.

In a study of tulpamancers though, most generally reported their lives becoming better after the practice.

78% reported improvements in their mental health, and 91% on overall life.

There are many out there who would jump at the chance to have someone there with them that knows them intimately, and to never have to be alone again.

If it's not for you, then so be it.

But it's certainly not something to be afraid of.

And maybe, for those who are willing to commit to the practice while America struggles with an epidemic of loneliness, it's something worth being open to.

This is actually pretty fair.

But that's now, and I'm looking at course of history and trends of plural acceptance.

300 years ago, any plural would be viewed as demon possessed and end up tortured or killed for their plurality.

70 years ago, all plurality was seen as a mental illness, and it was common to force plurals, as well as anyone else associated with mental illnesses, into asylums.

30 years ago, the first real plural communities were able to connect on the internet and form in small numbers.

8 years ago, the first studies into endogenic plurality started being conducted. 4 years ago, the ICD-11 acknowledged that you could have multiple distinct personality states without a disorder. 2023 marked the first, but certainly not the last, time a system used their system name as an author of an academic paper.

Recently, new plural resources have been designed and put into use. More servers than ever are using Pluralkit. And Simply Plural went from 100k users at the end of 2021 to 210k at the end of 2022.

Progress is happening far more rapidly than you realize. And you had best be ready for it.

BOO! 👻

Oh, hey, I just realized... this is literal pluralphobia!

Liberté!

Egalité!

Fraternité!

And yes, The Future is Plural! 😜

[kafus]

how to transfer your old pokemon to pokemon home before it's too late!!!

the wi-fi services for the nintendo 3DS and WiiU are shutting down in early april 2024, and while it specifically lists pokemon bank and poke transporter as being available post-shutdown, there is no guarantee of how long that may be for. there will likely come a time when these services shut down, and it could be in the relatively near future.

it is also pretty much impossible now to transfer pokemon to the switch's Home service with alternative methods such as PKHeX (popular pokemon save editor for the uninformed) due to the implementation of server-side Home IDs tracking pokemon at all times - the details of that aren't super important for this post, but point is, whenever bank shuts down, unless nintendo makes an offline way to transfer to home, it will be impossible to move pokemon from the old gens to the new, even with alternative/hack-y methods.

i write this guide with the intention of making this process easier for people since transferring pokemon has changed so much over the past two decades that it's a bit of a mess, and in a timely manner to give people time to finish the process. i'll be organizing by generation so feel free to skip to any part of the guide you need. (keep in mind that transferring is permanent, your pokemon cannot go back afterwards!!)

(by the way it would mean a lot to me if you weren't overwhelmingly negative of pokemon in the tags/reblogs. i get that pokemon transferring being an online service sucks but reading that stuff in my notifications constantly is really tiring </3 make ur own post to talk about that)

to walk you through, i'll be transferring this random shiny spinda i hatched in emerald version all the way up to pokemon home. her name is Moss :]

below the cut since this is long as fuck sorry LOL

GEN 1/2 -> 3 (aka RBY/GSC -> RSE/FRLG)

this is impossible! as for the Virtual Console releases of the gen 1/2 games on 3DS, more on that later in the gen 5 -> 6/7 section.

GEN 3 -> 4 (aka RSE/FRLG -> DPPT/HGSS)

what you need:

a copy of RSE or FRLG

a copy of DPPT or HGSS in the same language as the RSE/FRLG copy that has beaten the champion and has access to post-game areas, preferably HGSS because it lets you transfer unlimited times as opposed to DPPT's once-per-24-hours limit (unless you happen to have korean DPPT/HGSS, which is not language locked in terms of transferring)

either an original DS or a DS lite, the old ones with the GBA slot at the bottom

the steps:

#1. you can only transfer 6 pokemon at a time, so get whatever 6 pokemon you want to transfer up together in gen 3. if you're intending to transfer less than 6 pokemon, you'll need to catch some extras since you have to transfer the full 6 every time (i usually just catch a bunch of extra mons on the first route, which is what i've done here with the poochyenas/wurmples)

#2. put the gen 3 game into the GBA slot of the DS, and the gen 4 game into the DS slot. both games should appear on the home menu after turning on the DS.

#3. load the DS game and spam A past the title screen. before loading your save, scroll down. you should see a "MIGRATE FROM (GAME NAME HERE)" option. if you don't, either the GBA game isn't reading properly, or you have not visited Pal Park in your gen 4 game of choice. in HGSS, the Pal Park is located in Fuchsia City, and in DPPT, the Pal Park is located at the end of Route 221 below Sandgem Town.

#4. select the aforementioned migration option and pick the pokemon you want to transfer.

#5. navigate to the Pal Park and complete the Catching Show, where you re-catch your transferred pokemon in the wild. this does not overwrite what pokeballs they were originally caught in! you will need to bring a pokemon with Surf if you have any Pokemon that spawn in the water areas. you can check what location the pokemon you transferred will be in on bulbapedia.

#6. say yes to storing the caught pokemon in your PC boxes and they'll be there!

important things to note:

pokemon with HM moves will be blocked from transfer, so make sure to use the Move Deleter to remove HM moves from any pokemon you're transferring in gen 3 before trying to transfer. in RSE, the Move Deleter is in Lilycove City, and in FRLG they are in Fuchsia City.

gen 3 -> 4 is the only step in the transfer process where held items transfer up as well, meaning that if you attach a valuable item such as a rare candy, master ball, or TM to a transferred pokemon, you can take it off that pokemon and put it in your bag in the gen 4 game.

an aside about colosseum/XD gale of darkness on gamecube:

you can transfer pokemon from colo/XD as well! unfortunately you'll need to have beaten colo/XD, and then you will also need to beat the gen 3 game... in FRLG, you even have to complete the postgame ruby/sapphire quest on the sevii islands to unlock trading with the gamecube games. once you do all that though, you can navigate to the pokemon center basement in Phenac City to trade with your gen 3 GBA title. to do this, you'll need a gamecube or wii with gamecube compatibility, a GBA (or GBA SP), and a GCN -> GBA link cable to connect the two consoles.

GEN 4 -> 5 (aka DPPT/HGSS -> BW/BW2)

what you need:

a copy of DPPT/HGSS

a copy of BW or BW2 in the same language as DPPT/HGSS copy that has beaten the champion (or N in the original BW) and has access to post-game areas.

two DS consoles of any kind (3DS is also fine!)

the steps:

#1. get the pokemon you want to transfer together in your gen 4 game's PC boxes. you can only transfer 6 pokemon at a time. if you have less than 6, catch some extra pokemon, since you need to transfer the full 6 every time. save it and turn off the DS with the gen 4 game.

#2. turn on your gen 5 game and navigate to the Poke Transfer Lab. personally i just fly to Black City/White Forest and head west.

#3. talk to the NPC in the lab to start the transfer process. you will be prompted to turn on your other DS again and open DS Download Play with your gen 4 game inserted. do that and download the Poke Transfer app that comes up.

#4. select the 6 Pokemon you want to transfer when prompted.

#5. play the transfer minigame! just drag the... bow? (lol) on the bottom screen to aim your pokeballs. there's technically a time limit, but it's very generous, and your final score doesn't matter.

#6. say yes to transferring the pokemon once you're done and they'll be placed in your PC boxes!

important things to note:

pokemon with HM moves will be blocked from transfer, so make sure to use the Move Deleter to remove HM moves from any pokemon you're transferring in gen 4 before trying to transfer. in DPPT they're in Canalave City, and in HGSS they're in Blackthorn City.

the level the pokemon was obtained at and the date it was obtained is changed upon transfer to gen 5 - it will have the met date of your DS clock and the met level of the level it was at the time of transfer. if you'd like to preserve a pokemon's met date, make sure to change the DS clock to the proper date.

GEN 5 -> 6/7 (aka BW/BW2 -> 3DS TITLES/BANK)

what you need:

a copy of BW/BW2

a copy of any 3DS pokemon game (XY/ORAS/SUMO/USUM)

a 3DS (or 2DS, i'll just be referring to them all as 3DSes here) with the poke transporter and pokemon bank apps installed. these were free apps that were once downloadable from the 3DS eShop, but the 3DS eShop is no longer available, so if you don't already have them installed you will need to explore alternate methods, AKA hacking your 3DS and injecting them in. that's outside the scope of this guide but you can find more information here on 3ds.hacks.guide. (do not attempt to follow any 3DS hacking guide not on this website, they could be outdated and harm your 3DS!)

a nintendo network ID that your 3DS is logged into (also outside the scope of this guide but if you don't already have one, it will prompt you during the process to make one)

internet connection

the steps:

#1. poke transporter defaults to trying to transfer every pokemon located in Box 1 of your PC, so go into your gen 5 game and put every pokemon you want to transfer into Box 1, and take anything you don't want to transfer out. if you want to transfer more pokemon than you can fit in one box, you'll have to transfer multiple times.

#2. open poke transporter with your gen 5 game inserted into the 3DS' cartridge slot. after pressing A through some menus and selecting the gen 5 game when prompted, it should ask if you want to transfer the pokemon in Box 1, with a preview of the pokemon inside. confirm and let it do its thing. after poke transporter is finished, the pokemon you transferred will be in the special Transport Box in bank.

#3. make sure you either have a 3DS pokemon title downloaded onto your 3DS, or swap out your gen 5 cart for one, it doesn't matter which.

#4. close out of poke transporter and navigate to pokemon bank. at the time of writing this guide, bank is still online and is free for everyone without a subscription - the main menu has an infinite "free trial" period number.

#5. select "use pokemon bank" and pick a 3DS game to connect with when prompted. it doesn't matter which one, but if you're looking to see your pokemon in a gen 6/7 game right now, pick the one you want to move it into. viewing a pokemon in a gen 6/7 game isn't required to move to home later, though!

#6. the Transport Box is located one box to the left of Box 1 - navigate to it and drag your pokemon out into a normal bank box. now you can move them to any gen 6/7 pokemon game you want, or home later!

important things to note:

even though bank connects with both gen 6 and gen 7 games, once you place a pokemon into a gen 7 game (SUMO/USUM), you cannot transfer that pokemon back to a gen 6 game (XY/ORAS), so be careful!

an aside about the VC releases of RBY/GSC:

poke transporter can also be used to transfer pokemon out of the VC releases of RBY/GSC. these pokemon are changed pretty heavily, converting all their old gen data into pokemon's modern data structure. you can find more information about all the changes/conversions made on bulbapedia. these pokemon are considered gen 7 pokemon afterwards, and cannot be moved into XY/ORAS. pokemon with held items also cannot be transferred from VC titles and will fail to transfer.

if you want to transfer pokemon from cartridge RBY/GSC and have a save dumping device, it is possible to inject the cartridge's save file into the VC versions with Checkpoint on a hacked 3DS and then transfer that way. for GSC specifically, you'll need to edit your save slightly to make it compatible with VC GSC's save format. i personally made a converter for that here that you're free to use in-browser.

GEN 6/7 -> GEN 8+ (aka BANK -> HOME)

what you need:

a 3DS (or 2DS, i'll just be referring to them all as 3DSes here) with the pokemon bank app installed. this was a free app that was once downloadable from the 3DS eShop, but the 3DS eShop is no longer available, so if you don't already have it installed you will need to explore alternate methods, AKA hacking your 3DS and injecting it in. that's outside the scope of this guide but you can find more information here on 3ds.hacks.guide. (do not attempt to follow any 3DS hacking guide not on this website, they could be outdated and harm your 3DS!)

a nintendo network ID that your 3DS is logged into (also outside the scope of this guide but if you don't already have one, it will prompt you during the process to make one)

a switch with Pokemon Home installed, which can be downloaded for free from the switch's eShop. a nintendo switch online subscription is not required.

unfortunately, you WILL need a subscription to home's premium plan to do bank -> home transfers.

internet connection

the steps:

#1. open pokemon bank and make sure all the pokemon you want to transfer are in their own boxes, and any you don't want to transfer are not in the same boxes as the to-be-transferred pokemon.

#2. go back to the bank home menu and select the "move pokemon to pokemon home" option. when you get the notice about the transfer being one-way, you'll need to scroll down to hit "Begin".

#3. you will be prompted to select what boxes of pokemon you'd like to transfer, so pick all the applicable ones.

#4. you will then be prompted to put in the moving key from home, so turn on your switch, open pokemon home, and select the icon that looks like a 3DS on the main menu. when prompted, choose "Ready!" to get the moving key.

#5. input the moving key on the 3DS, submit it, and wait for both apps to do their thing. once bank goes back to its title screen, you can turn off the 3DS.

#6. home will go back to its title screen as well, and depending on how many pokemon you moved, you may have to wait a few minutes to get back into the app. once it's done, the next time you open home, it'll prompt you to choose how to organize your transferred pokemon into home. pick whatever you see fit.

#7. congratulations, your pokemon are safe in home!!

important things to note:

unlike all pokemon games before the switch, pokemon can actually go backwards in generation on switch, so don't worry about transferring a pokemon into scarlet/violet locking you out of moving it to sword/shield, for example. (the exception to this is LGPE - nothing can be moved into LGPE and once a pokemon is moved out of LGPE, it can't go back.)

pokemon home actually has decent hack checks, so be careful when transferring hacked/glitched/otherwise illegitimate pokemon around.

pokemon from a gen 3/4 game will have their met location set to "Poke Shifter" - this is an alternative translation of the japanese name for the Poke Transporter.

pokemon on switch can only transfer into games that contain that pokemon in its dex, so not everything transferred can go into scarlet/violet, for example.

and that's it!!

there's a lot of other quirks to the pokemon transferring process at pretty much all steps, so if you run into an unusual issue or have specific questions about how pokemon data is changed in minute ways across the franchise, i would encourage you to do your own research, all of this stuff is pretty heavily documented by the fanbase. this is just meant to be a guide for casual users, and a quick reference.

this guide of course does not cover options for transferring in alternative ways, but it's worth mentioning that if you have a hacked 3DS and the ability to back up save files at any point from gens 3 -> 5, you can use PKHeX to transfer pokemon into the 3DS titles, then move them to bank and transfer to home normally from there. that's outside the scope of this guide and i'd also encourage you to do your own research for that.

happy transferring!

[nepenthean-sleep]

griddlehark fic recs, part 3

hi, it has been 8 months since my last fic rec post and there have been a lot of new fics in that time period so: welcome to griddlehark fic recs part 3! this fandom has so many amazing authors, and i absolutely love every one of these fics. all fics here in this part are rated G or T, and tumblr usernames have been added if i could find them (sorry for the notification!). here is part 1. here is part 2 and part 4 (forthcoming).

A Handsomely Dangerous Thing T - zoicite short oneshot set during gtn. harrow's perspective on gideon's duel with naberius, featuring copious amounts of pining.

never exhale all the way G - pigflight short oneshot set during gtn. homoerotic face-painting; need i say more. harrow is so down bad for gideon in this one.

Saltwater T - Raxheim / @theriverbeyond short oneshot, kiriona speculation set between htn and ntn. kiriona meets nona in her dreams about the saltwater pool. lots of wonderful (?) kirianthe interaction as well.

A Simple Charm G - pipistrelle short oneshot set during gtn. gideon bandages harrow's hand and harrow gets flustered. the banter in this one is so good.

salt on the rim T - lifevoid short oneshot, modern au. harrow gets a bit drunk and calls gideon pretty. this fic kinda lives in my mind rent-free; the prose here is lovely.

We Have Always Lived In The Apartment T - labyrinthineRetribution / @thatneoncrisis long multi-chapter modern au, currently unfinished. (deep breath) sorry to be biased but this is probably my favorite fic on this list, if not one of my favorite tlt fics of all time. not to spoil anything, but the writing reminds me a lot of tamsyn's own writing style: there's weird identity shit going on, there's weird homoerotic shit going on, there's weird mystery shit going on. the girls are Heinous and there's bones. what more could you want from a tlt fic.

said the spider to the fly T - mutterandmumble short oneshot, modern college/uni au. harrow's having a bit of a rough time, so gideon comes over to help cook food (neither of them can cook). it's both funny and a bit bittersweet.

mune ga hachikire-sodē [my heart seems to burst] T - nosecoffee / @nose-coffee long oneshot, ntn canon-divergence where kiriona ends up rooming with pyrrha, nona, and cam & pal. this fic takes a really interesting premise and absolutely goes wild with it, and i love it.

never saw you coming T - igneousbitch oneshot, modern college/uni au. a very funny fic where griddlehark pull off a "heist" to put a fish in (professor) john's office. featuring such award winning dialogue as:

“This is my nightmare blunt rotation,” Gideon told her. “And you’re just my fucking nightmare,” Harrow said.

Intern the Sixth T - apocalypticTaco / @notedchampagne long multi-chapter pre-canon au, currently unfinished. a half-epistolary fic about the sixth going on an academic exchange trip to the ninth house, taking place about five years before canon. this entire fic is so goddamn funny and i love how much detail and attention the author pays towards necromancy, necromantic theory, and worldbuilding regarding the sixth and ninth houses.

[opal-owl-flight]

I'm going to pretend that your 3 and 4 were too busy/not mature enough at the time to be in love/develop those feelings back before 4 left.

They were just coworkers having fun, being more than coworkers (friends!), and making memories.

But when 4 came back, those feelings became so much more complex. And things only got worse and harder to understand as 4 and 3's relationship as coworkers and friends became strained, between 3's desire for 4 to surpass them and 4's self-loathing.

3's attempt at fixing things only made things worse, as those feelings became love for a friend, someone important, but not a romantic kind JUST yet. 4 was someone they couldn't bear losing. In their attempts to protect them, they invalidated 4's own feelings (which I'm pretty sure you covered), which resulted in the fight.

I think it would be safe to say that it was when 3 realized how much of the problem they'd inadvertently contributed to, that they also began to love 4 more than as a friend. But it's a bit hard to notice that when you're getting your face mashed up.

Post hospital stay, 3 finally realized that love and became super gay for 4, as seen by the inner 3 reactions.

As for 4's journey, it was very similar in that it wasn't until they were smashing 3's face in that they realized, in those moments with their hands covered in 3's blood, in the moments that they spent with them in the hospital, that some of their own feelings might be turning to love.

Of course, the main feeling during the fight was anger and then horror, but shit happens.

Sorry for the way too long ask, but I've loved your 4 and 3 comics (8 and 4 were super emotional as well, and I greatly enjoyed those ones) and just had to share! ^^;;

You got a lot of it right! Though, the gay doesnt come til after Project Piranesi/Oceanic Labyrinth -- 3's "I love you" in Break is a platonic one, a feeling they held ever since they met, and a feeling that never went away even when they parted.

The relationship strained bc 4 went off and experienced hell in college. She developed a self loathing, and took a break from there. SHe hoped that 3 would be able to fix the issue bc hey...they always know what to do with her (her thought here is "Make me a perfect agent, continue what youve been doing before")... but that didnt happen.

3, now the Captain, taken off the field and directly responsible for the lives of the agents, has become more battle hardened and strict in their duties. They drill the agents to make sure they dont suffer what they did (falling to Tartar specifically), done out of a place of care and love. Theyre scared, really, they feel all this responsibility, add the fact that they dont like acknowledging that they may not be able to save everyone like they usually do before (due to their disability).

They heard 4s pleas and tried to turn her to what she wants. Maybe more. They knew shed surpass them. Its inevitable.

They only wanted her to be the best self she can be. Protect her -- they finally got her back, theyre not losing her again -- even if their methods only served to strain their friendship further.

A huge misunderstanding of 3s motives leads to bitterness from 4. They were her best friend. Now theyre...just like everyone else in college. Disappointed in her (no theyre not). She strived to be whatever perfection they wanted from her. Maybe if she got there, shed stop hating herself. If she got there, maybe theyd love her again (they always did, if...not expressed properly).

Leads to the duel after 3 forced a Leave on her, yada yada.... they make up for lost time after, hanging out as friends again until 4 is confident/feels supported enough to return to agent duties.

In those further duties, 4 starts growing. Finally growing in the right direction. Her confidence swelling to be almost the same as before she went to college (but not completely). I think tje romantic feelings start here? Not sure yet. But its def after time spent together as pals and supporting each other through several of their internal struggles (4 and her self-image, 3 and their limitations)

The Captain's right hand.

The confession likely happens after 4 saves 3 from some situation in Project Piranesi! Consider it a knight saving her monarch from danger.

Thank you sm for the ask! Im glad I managed to get most of my points across in the comics wehe

[fruitytrollroll]

7k words??? What kind of debauchery u writing ( im going feral FEED ME GIVE ME SPOILERS OR TEASERS OF CH2 )

AHAHAHA THANK YOU FOR PERMITTING ME TO MADDEN YOU, YOUR ENTHUSIASM IS MUCH APPRECIATED! 😈❤️‍🔥

Since you asked so ravenously, I will tell u a little of what I'm working on, and oblige you with a cheeky excerpt (which u will automatically see if u expand this post, sorry this format is not the best! oh well!)

I will say my approach to erotica/erotic romance is that themes and allegories and narrative "foreplay" enhance the overall experience! So it's mostly build-up and homoerotic loathing (and since the first chapter was so well-received I don't there will be any strong objections to this lmao).

I'm spending time in Scarab's head on the job to examine his thinking, and leaning into his intense hatred of (obsession with?) Prismo, because I think lingering on those feelings makes his downfall that much sweeter. Show me a man at the top of his game, and I'm gonna want to bring him to his lowest low. >:3c

To that end, I'm actually rewriting their first meeting from Episode 4! I think this adds value because I get to decide what Scarab was thinking the entire time. And we didn't see them for the WHOLE tour of the Time Room, so I get to add in those missing scenes and speculate on the flow of that conversation.

SO ENJOY THIS LITTLE EXCERPT!

🥒🪲✨

When a square porthole opens into the Time Room with a sound like a slab scraping over stone, Scarab wastes no time scuttling inside.

A glimmer of fear passes over Prismo's expression just as the Wishmaster comes into view, and Scarab knows he's caught the cosmic being red-handed—even if he doesn't know at what, yet.

"Ah—Scarab! Hey," Prismo greets with an awkward smile.

Scarab does not return the greeting. He takes his time, allowing himself to relish the lackadaisical Wishmaster's long-awaited comeuppance.

"Curious... I always thought you had an open-door policy," Scarab leisurely croons. He leaps from the porthole to enter the Time Room proper, and he lands inauspiciously on Prismo's arm. It makes Scarab's toes buzz, and he discreetly steps over Prismo's projected-light form to escape the strange sensation.

"Everybody's pal, Prrrismo," he purrs, with affection so theatrically insincere it makes his mandibles ache.

Scarab crosses one leg behind the other and rests his weight on his cane, awaiting Prismo's answer.

"Hey, that's me!" Prismo nervously laughs. "Well... What brings you here, Scrabby?"

The reminder of that undignified nickname makes Scarab scoff, and he crosses his arms, taken aback. "No one calls me that any more."

After Prismo paraded that odious nickname around the office party, it had stuck for a while. To put a finer point on it, it had taken decades of brusque correction for Scarab to train it out of their sphere of mutual acquaintances. Scarab had never dialed down his answering brutality, nor had he ever stopped begrudging Prismo the inconvenience of it all.

Much like the scandal of touch, a nickname was a pathetic attempt to come closer to the Scarab, and would be met with the same rebuke.

Stewing in that resentment threatens to distract Scarab from the task at hand. Perhaps that is Prismo's aim.

But Scarab is not so easily dissuaded.

With faux innocence, Scarab spins a yarn to conceal just how eagerly he has awaited the Wishmaster's downfall. "I was passing through the neighborhood, making a delivery to the Judgment Hall, when I got an alert... about you."

Prismo makes his excuses, and Scarab entertains them with diligent patience. Though the god-auditor is known for being abrupt, he likes to take his time on inspections and investigations—particularly when he is confident his quarry has been cornered.

What can he say? Time is the most important ingredient to many rewarding experiences—and Scarab enjoys playing with his food. There was little other reason to linger in Kheirosiphon's tea shop as long as he had, but to privately relish the impending conclusion of a successful hunt.

Also, Prismo floundering as he clumsily tries to conceal his crimes features not infrequently in Scarab's top 5 fantasies.

He is not so eager for justice to let that pass him by without savoring it, a little.

[transmickey]

weekly tag wednesday (which i am actually doing for once) yaaaay 🥳 thank you @heymacy for this week's questions + @stocious @deedala @spacerockwriting @spookygingerr and

@transsexual-dandelions for also tagging me.. i give u all a smooch on the forehead

(disclaimer: there is presently a glitch with tumblr that only allows you to tag 5 people per line in your text posts. to remedy that, you can separate your tags into different lines as i have at the bottom of this post to ensure that everyone that's tagged knows they've been tagged!)

let's get started!

**

name: ajax

age: 4/5 of a nosho plus a bit more

your time zone: BST (utc+1) (boooo daylight savings)

what do you do for work? i am a student full time 🤓 but only for another 5 weeks (!) (!!!) (ur all invited to my graduation i hope ur july is lookin empty)

do you have any pets? no :( never have :(

what first drew you to this fandom? i can't even remember its been 84 years... i think i was just watching every 'popular' show going around on tumblr at the time lmao

are you a morning person or a night owl? somehow both . what do you mean i can't sustainably go to sleep at 3am and wake up at 6am isn't that so cruel

what are your hobbies? gaming, reading, going on silly little walks

how tall are you? i forgor . 163 cm i think?

if you could live anywhere in the world, where would you live? hmmm new york babeeyyy

favorite color? blue

favorite book? [static noises]

favorite movie? [static noises] (im so sorry im not a movie person)

favorite fic? cooperative gameplay my beloved

favorite musical artist: AH! AHHH! noah kahan and phoebe bridgers and neck deep and the 1975 and taylor swift and sleep token and ethel cain and eden and- [gets dragged off stage]

what is your average screen time so far this week? i don't know and i don't want to know

what's the first app you open in the morning? either discord or imessage

how long have you been on tumblr? .. 8 or 9 years total?

finally (and i know this one is hard) tell me a fun fact about yourself: ok i technically already said this one but! my last ever undergrad lecture is in exactly a week and i graduate in a couple months everyone jump up and down and say YIPPEE!

tagging some pals (sorry if you've already done it i have dumb baby brain) (i love u) (*hands you a cookie*) @mybrainismelted @transmurderbug @gallapiech @roryonic @creepkinginc

@jrooc @ian-galagher @astaraels @mickeysgaymom @heymrspatel

@lupeloto @lee-ow

[eminsunnytoons123]

And this is an treat for all my besties, Sisters, Brothers, pen pals, my two girlfriends And my boyfriend like: @cheezekennith @aquamarine-dream-queen @nuggetaubrey @iggyguyy @bluebird-in-a-cagedrawing @mysafespaceblog13 @ducktoonz903707 And all of my other besties, Sisters, Brothers, pen pals, my two girlfriends And boyfriend =^_^=

Heres another plot of the story of how Sunny And Salieri met...

So, as I Said in my yesterday post where I Drew young Sunny, I Said this: "And i'll soon make a story how Salieri And Sunny met in my AU. But to start a little bit, when Sunny And Salieri met in the first year of the westley school, they first dislikes each other, but Sunny soon developed a small crush on Salieri even tho he is the popular And tough Guy in the school... And Salieri started noticing that And he started teasing him a little bit for that. And as soon as they graduated, Salieri kissed him on the cheek, leaving Sunny having that memory until he is now 28-29 years old, And when they face each other again with Sunny with his students And Salieri with his students. (I'll say more tommorow ^///^;)"

Well, let me start a little more slower...

So, when the first year of westley/eastley school, they were both either 13-14 years old together. Salieri was the popular Guy in the school, And even talented, so was Sunny, And Sunny was actually there a new student. Salieri didnt like him so he played that "served" trick on him, heres the video:

And Sunny kinda disliked him for that, but then he slowly started kinda developing a crush on him, you wonder why? Well... he didnt know why either, he even didnt understand why he had a "crush" on Salieri after Sunny Got served by him. Then after a few Days when Sunny started developing a crush on Salieri, Salieri found out about that because he constantly noticed Sunny blushing And being kinda nervous around him (not too much), And then Salieri started teasing him for that And calling him some cute names, but he was still bullying him. And then soon, when there was the second year of westley/eastley school, Sunny confessed his love to Salieri (read this story now down below): ↓

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It was probably 4 PM at that time, after an hour when the last class of the Day ended... Salieri was behind the school, clearly waiting for someone. He looks kinda annoyed And he had his hands on his hips..

Salieri: where the heck is that Sunny boy? I swear... If he doesnt appear in a couple more Minutes, i'll kick his ass...

As soon as he Said that, Sunny came behind the school too, And he was running to Salieri And he stopped beside him, he was taking a few breaths from running... Salieri looked at him And he scoffs.

Salieri: ah, there you are, Sunny boy! I was waiting here for about half an hour! What took you so long!? You're Lucky I didnt had to kick your saxophone ass...

Sunny: Sorry to keep ya waiting, Salieri... I forgot about the time, I-I was sleeping on the roof of the schoo-

Salieri puts his hand on Sunny's mouth, not wanting an explanation now

Salieri: yeah, yeah. I dont care. Just tell me why you called me here for.

Sunny gently moved salieri's hand away from his mouth And he sighs a little bit

Sunny: Alright... Im sorry if this will be kinda awkward, but.... You know? When I came here into this School, you were kind of like an nice-looking Guy to me...

Salieri raises an eyebrow, clearly kind of surprised And unamused by Sunny's comment of calling him a "nice-looking" Guy, And he crosses his arms over his chest.

Salieri: oh? This is something new coming out of your mouth.

Sunny: well, yeah, but... Even though you were kind of bullying me And getting me served, I still thought you were a Nice-looking Guy... And kind of an attractive Guy...

Sunny blushes a little bit And he scratches the back on his neck. And Salieri raises his eyebrows a little bit And he chuckles

Salieri: ah, really? You think I am attractive, Sunny boy?...~

Sunny looks at him directly in the eyes And he blushes again

Sunny: well.... Yeah..

Sunny wanted to say something more but then Salieri speaks up

Salieri: I knew it. I always knew you founded me attractive, Sunny boy... And you arent bad yourself. Even thought you can be an idiot sometimes. But I like Guys who are idiotic..

Salieri then laughs a little bit, And Sunny awkwardly Chuckles a little bit..

Sunny: Heh, yeah... I see.... But, I gotta now get to the point why I called you here..

Salieri raises an eyebrow And he still had his arms crossed over his chest

Salieri: go on and spill it, Sunny boy.

Sunny takes a deep breath And sighs deeply

Sunny: Alright... So... T "Top" Salieri? Uh... I... Damn it- I LOVE YOU!! I LOVE YOU, T "TOP" SALIERI!! ILOVEYOUMORETHANANYTHINGELSEINTHISSCHOOL!!

Salieri gasps a little bit.. And Sunny blushes like, A LOT, And he puts his hand over his face And he Closes his eyes, kind of embarassed that he yelled that out, even tho no one was really at school, only him And Salieri. Salieri then smirks a little bit And his eyes close a little halfway, And he speaks up..

Salieri: aww, Sunny boy... Thats something very sweet coming out yer mouth... And I gotta admit. I really love ya too, even tho I bully you And served you during your competition.. But I still love ya, Sunny...

Sunny Opens his eyes slowly And he moves his finger for his one eye to look at Salieri, And he speaks up quietly enough for Salieri to hear

Sunny: really?..

Salieri takes a step closer to Sunny And he puts his hand on Sunny's hand that was still on his own face

Salieri: ofcourse, you little dummy...

Sunny then moves his Hand away from his face, but he was still blushing. And he smiles warmly And speaks up..

Sunny: oh, Salieri... Well...

He swallows hard a little bit And looks at him again

Sunny: D-... Do you wanna be my boyfriend now...?

Salieri smirks even more and he blushes too

Salieri: ofcourse I will, Sunny Bridges!! Why wouldnt I!?

Sunny smiles even more, And he tears up a little bit And he hugs Salieri very tightly And he Closes his eyes tightly. Salieri hugs him back. Sunny then whispers enough for Salieri to hear.

Sunny: I love you, T "Top" Salieri... I'll never leave you nor stop loving you...

Salieri smirks in a warm And friendly way, And he whispers back to sunny.

Salieri: I love ya too, Sunny Bridges... You better dont leave me, you little dummy... Neither will I leave you...

Then they both look at each other directly while still having their hands on each other's shoulders, And then they kiss on the lips......

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

And thats how they started dating! (I'll put this on a full post to have a spotlight)

And on the fourth year, they graduated, Salieri kissed sunny on the lips, leaving Sunny flustered And having that memory in him always.... But, if you're wondering: "oh Emin? Are they still dating after the graduation?" Well, kinda yeah.... but, they didnt make any interaction or contact, Its Unknown why...

But as soon as Salieri Got back in town with his students (And since he is now 28-29 years old like Sunny), they met each other again, And Sunny And Salieri both immediately remembered the time they kissed for the first time And started dating...

I may write more tommorow ^///^;

And I hope y'all will like this, And I wanna hear y'all's opioions on this in the replies or reblogs =^////^= 🧡💛 I may make a comic or some doodles And drawings of how they started dating =^_^=

And also, this is just in my AU. I know they both hate each other on the Show, but I just had this Idea of shipping them.

[misfitclassismyfreetherapy]

Mairuma Incorrect Quotes #2

.

.

.

~

Dark humor again. Woooh.

⚠️ Also this post might contain triggering topics such as smoking, juuling and more. ⚠️

Mairuma Incorrect Quotes #1

Agares: You know if cats slept for an entire day, people will find them adorable and cute. But if I do it "I have mental health issues" and "I need help"? Seems quite unfair.

Kerori: Agares Picero. You slept for three straight days with no eating, skipping three days of school, not even communicating with us. You gave Gaap a heart attack-

Agares: I suddenly lost my ability to hear shit.

Kerori: You bitc-

Mairuma Incorrect Quotes #2

Purson: Okay what happened with Jazz-kun and Lied-kun because I heard screaming beforehand and then when I came into the room they were cuddling and sleeping with eachother.

Iruma: Oh, Jazz-kun found a JUUL in Lied-kun bag and got mad and then Lied-kun called him a hypocrite because he also smok-

Purson : To make a long story short..?

Iruma: They fought and then one of them cried then comforted eachother while joking about their trauma.

Purson: It was wholesome until you added the last detail. Why?-

Mairuma Incorrect Quotes #3

Agares: This cup of coffee represents my love for myself.

Gaap: Agares-dono...it's empty..

Agares: Exactly.

Kerori: Okay, who thought you dark humor? I- Wait ...*turns her head to Lied*

Lied: *sweating while pretending not to hear*

Mairuma Incorrect Quotes #4

Iruma: Hey, Azz-kun do you think I look fat?

Asmodeus: ..Why?

Iruma: I'm sorry I just..

Asmodeus: No, why would people be so stupidly blind to not see your elusive beauty? Damn demon these days..

Iruma: * raises his eyebrows then quickly smiled*

Meanwhile..

Kerori: Imagine saying you're not depressed but your favourite song is "Look who's inside again."

Agares: Is this because I didn't follow your devi-account yet? I'm sorry that I don't like to follow akudols that I don't like.

Kerori: I hate you.

Agares: Glad the feelings mutual.

⭐Kerori and Agares is totally not inspired by my friendship with my friend irl. Nope definitely not.⭐

Mairuma Incorrect Quotes #5

Kalego: Okay you brats,what the fuck do you do when you want to call for emotional support?

Misfit Class: Oh we're fine, how are you?

Kalego: No, just no. I'm literally gonna fucking kill your therapist at this point.

Dantelion who just went to annoy Kalego: ...

UPDATED!

Mairuma Incorrect Quotes #6

Lied: What the devi? Hey, Agares what are you doing in the middle of the nig-

Agares: Do you know that there is over in lover.

Lied: Uh-

Agares: and end in friend.

Lied: UH-

Agares: and good in goodbye.

Lied: Isn't that kind of dark- anyways please go to sleep it's one o' clock in the morning.

Agares: Says your gaming addiction.

Lied: Says your coffee addiction.

Agares: Says-

Purson who can't sleep because of them: OH MY DEVI, WE'RE TRYING TO SLEEP! WE"LL DEAL WITH YOUR DEPRESSING BULLSHIT TOMMOROW. GO TO SLEEP YOU LITTLE SHITS! YOU"RE LUCKY I CARE ABOUT YOU OR ELSE I WOULD'VE BEATEN THE SHIT OUT OF YOU!

Claire's note:

Two hc I have showcase in this incorrect quote.

Uno, the Misfit Class sometimes sleepover at the royal one as a way of bonding.

Dos, Purson is a real bitch when he doesn't get any sleep.

.

.

ENDING

My content is turning into dog-shit ain't it? Yeah, yeah it is. Btw I'm thinking of making a misfit class hamilton play in my fanfic. The demons starring the schuyler sisters.

Lied- Angelica

Iruma- Eliza

Agares- Peggy

Them three because them crossdressing is my literal sanity.

What do you think? My hand tells me no but my brain is telling me yes. I still don't know who should be hamilton though, I'm open to suggestions. Anyways I wish you a good day or night! See ya guys, gals and non-binary pals!

[rubberduckrobin]

Hey hope your having a great day!

I was wondering if I could request a story with Shane x Male reader? maybe just them slowly falling in love over time.

Thank You

-🐭

Hey, Anon!

Thank you so so much for the request, I enjoyed writing it a lot!

It turned out a bit long...so what I'm going to do is post it in 2 sections: parts 1, 2 & 3 and parts 4, 5 & 6. This is section 1. I'll link section 2 at the end :) [or you can just find it after this post].

Sorry for the complications! But I really hope you enjoy (and anyone else reading too!)

For my AO3 pals: https://archiveofourown.org/works/50214880

To fall for someone. - Shane x M! Reader

Summary: On a dreary repeated day, Shane finds something that can finally make him feel free; or rather, someone.

Note: R/N means Reader's Name.

TW: Deep topics & alcohol usage, mild profanity

⋆｡ﾟ☁︎｡⋆｡ ﾟ☾ ﾟ｡⋆⋆｡ﾟ☁︎｡⋆｡ ﾟ☾ ﾟ｡⋆⋆｡ﾟ☁︎｡⋆｡ ﾟ☾ ﾟ｡⋆⋆｡ﾟ☁︎｡⋆｡ ﾟ☾ ﾟ｡⋆⋆｡ﾟ☁︎｡⋆

Shane’s perspective throughout.

Part 1: A repetitive day meets a new end.

Stacking shelves at Joja Mart. As usual. 

Watching the clock over my shoulder, ticking for worthless time. As usual.

The sky through the back windows, gloomy and grey, as are my own dull eyes; I watch the clouds swirl, threatening thunder. 

I sigh. 

A walk home in the rain; a way to dampen the already shitty mood. 

One more minute until I finish my day - the day I have been living for an entire year. 

It’s always the same; the shelves, the clock, the darkness. Everythings the same, and nothing has changed…I can’t stand it. 

What’s the point?

The clock ticks 5:00 and I'm off. My bag, light due to being filled with nothing but empty beer cans, slumps over my shoulder as the automatic doors open reluctantly.

————————————————

Life is getting tedious. What’s the point? 

If I have to wake up everyday and do the exact same shitty thing, every. single. day. Then why am I even here? I’m not helping anyone and I’m just a burden. 

⋆｡ﾟ☁︎｡⋆｡ ﾟ☾ ﾟ｡⋆⋆｡ﾟ☁︎｡⋆｡ ﾟ☾ ﾟ｡⋆⋆｡ﾟ☁︎｡⋆｡ ﾟ☾ ﾟ｡⋆⋆｡ﾟ☁︎｡⋆｡ ﾟ☾ ﾟ｡⋆

I feel heavy. My bag is light but I feel heavy. Everything hurts. 

I stumbled out of the saloon at exactly 11:00 PM.

11:00PM.

The same as usual.

Everything hurts and is heavy. As usual. 

Looking up at the sky, I watch a solitary bird amongst the midnight black and I can’t help but wonder if that bird has a purpose too. 

I can’t help but wonder if anything has a purpose. 

And that’s when I see him. 

Watching the same bird. The same sky. But smiling. I’ve forgotten how to smile, how does it feel?

I’ve never seen this guy before. Somehow…it feels refreshingly new. 

Promising.

But why?

What’s the point?

⋆｡ﾟ☁︎｡⋆｡ ﾟ☾ ﾟ｡⋆⋆｡ﾟ☁︎｡⋆｡ ﾟ☾ ﾟ｡⋆⋆｡ﾟ☁︎｡⋆｡ ﾟ☾ ﾟ｡⋆⋆｡ﾟ☁︎｡⋆｡ ﾟ☾ ﾟ｡⋆

Part 2: Like a moth to a flame.

He sees me. And I feel warmth.

I don’t know how it's possible; I'm in my usual shabby, thin and lint ridden clothes, shivering, watching the sky, in cold, cold rain yet somehow…I feel warmth. 

I shouldn’t want to find out, there’s no point. But somehow, a part of me wants to know more about this stranger, and the fire they started in my heart, whatever my heart is for.

Whatever my heart is for, it longs for them and I can’t deny it. I’m alone in the rain with my consciousness, but then they are here, with me, and my emptiness, even my hidden sadness, and I can’t help feeling like I want to know more. To feel more. More warmth. 

“Ahem. You’ve been staring for quite a while.”

I ruin everything. Of course he’s going to run away and maybe it's for the best.

“At the sky, I mean. But, I guess you've been kinda spacey around my face region.”

This man. He laughs and a blazen passion is sought in my heart.

“Oh…uh…yeah.”

As my only comfort, I bring my hands to my pockets, hands quivering as frostbite makes its way up my fingertips to my palm.

“Nice weather we’re having.”

I can’t respond… It’s meant to be funny, and I'm meant to laugh, but I haven’t laughed in ages…whatever ‘ages’ is, anymore.

“Not into sarcastic jokes? Huh…kay’. Got it…how about…dad jokes? You seem like you like them.”

My only response is a grunt as I turn my back to him. 

He’s trying to cheer me up - he’s too sweet for me. Hurting someone sweet would only make things bitter and worse. For the both of us.

I distinguish the flame in my cradling mind and heart, and go home.

⋆｡ﾟ☁︎｡⋆｡ ﾟ☾ ﾟ｡⋆⋆｡ﾟ☁︎｡⋆｡ ﾟ☾ ﾟ｡⋆⋆｡ﾟ☁︎｡⋆｡ ﾟ☾ ﾟ｡⋆⋆｡ﾟ☁︎｡⋆｡ ﾟ☾ ﾟ｡⋆

Part 3: Why does the sun come out every morning, and the moon to shine at night?

Waking up is difficult, but not impossible. I’ve done it for years. 

I need to work. It’s the only way I’m useful.

What’s the point?

I don’t know, but today is no different. I put on the same clothes and head to work.

Well, I tried. 

There he was. Outside the house, sleeping on the grass. 

“What on earth are you doing?”

I watch as he wakes violently, confused and drowsy. 

“Huh? Oh…huh?”

“…” It doesn’t matter what I say or do. However, somehow, I care for him alot more than I have ever done for someone, especially myself. “Were you drunk last night?”

“Probably. And you, Mr. Handsome Hangover?”

I don’t need to hear more. I shouldn't put more effort into my curious care. Plus, I'm going to be late.

I turn my back once again and walk down the path. I can’t allow myself to think such things.

To my half-annoyance, I hear the sound of footsteps.

“Hey! Where are you going?”

“To work. Now go away.”

“What if I said no?”

⋆｡ﾟ☁︎｡⋆｡ ﾟ☾ ﾟ｡⋆⋆｡ﾟ☁︎｡⋆｡ ﾟ☾ ﾟ｡⋆⋆｡ﾟ☁︎｡⋆｡ ﾟ☾ ﾟ｡⋆⋆｡ﾟ☁︎｡⋆｡ ﾟ☾ ﾟ｡⋆

 There he is. In front of all of the staff, including me of course, introducing himself.

Why.

“Hello! Nice to meet you, and pleasure to be working with you.”

The staff here aren’t the nicest of people so they disregard his warm welcome and immediately shuffle off to work. I don’t blame them. I know what its like working in a corporate shithole for years.

We’re here for work, not for pleasantries. 

I’m just about to join them, when he approaches me.

“Sup. That was a surprise, wasn't it!” he holds his hand out to shake, “well, as you know, I’m (R/N)”

“I don’t care, go away.”

I do care. I really do. I just can’t be bothered for a relationship of any sorts. Its enough having to maintain one with Jas and Marnie. I just…can’t. 

They are already concerned and I don’t want to be a burden to anyone else.

“Oh, yes you do! You stared at me for a good five minutes before you ran off.”

“Stop.”

I begin to distract myself with the shelves I am so familiar with. I can hear the silence and vacancy of this new…bothersome man. 

Looking over my shoulder, I notice he’s hard at work. Huh. Quite surprising. Not completely. People like him are very strong. Mentally, that is. They can put their mind to anything and get it done just fine. I guess one of the things he put his mind to was socialising with me, nobody. I wonder why. 

⋆｡ﾟ☁︎｡⋆｡ ﾟ☾ ﾟ｡⋆⋆｡ﾟ☁︎｡⋆｡ ﾟ☾ ﾟ｡⋆⋆｡ﾟ☁︎｡⋆｡ ﾟ☾ ﾟ｡⋆⋆｡ﾟ☁︎｡⋆｡ ﾟ☾ ﾟ｡⋆

“Huh? Oh, cause’ you seemed lonely.”

What’s a better place than the saloon to coincidentally meet someone you’ve been trying to avoid and ignore all day in order to save both of your sanities all at once. 

And an even better place to make a fool of yourself by asking why he approached you the other night, especially when a little tipsy.

Lonely? Do I really look lonely? I never knew it was that…obvious. 

“Oh.”

“And may I ask, why did you walk off that night?”

He says, leaning in, like the devil's temptation, a shot glass dangling seductivley at the tips of his fingers.

“Because.”

“Because?~”

“Because. Now let me be alone.”

“All right.”

Thank god.

“But just one thing.”

Ugh.

“What’s your name?”

I lost my nametag for work a while ago. 

“Shane.”

“Nice to meet you, Shane.”

Why must it be that the warmth seeks my lonely heart instead of those who deserve it?

⋆｡ﾟ☁︎｡⋆｡ ﾟ☾ ﾟ｡⋆⋆｡ﾟ☁︎｡⋆｡ ﾟ☾ ﾟ｡⋆⋆｡ﾟ☁︎｡⋆｡ ﾟ☾ ﾟ｡⋆⋆｡ﾟ☁︎｡⋆｡ ﾟ☾ ﾟ｡⋆

Another lonely night in my cold bed. I can hear the wind howl, smell my unwashed odoresome sheets, taste the pungent biting liquor from tonight’s round and see nothing but the moonlight filtering through my tattered blinds.

I can feel the tears on my cheeks but It doesn't feel like I'm crying.

I’ve forgotten what crying is, because I've done it so often. I’ve also forgotten the feeling of stopping. 

One of my only escapes is the drinks. 

I need another one, soon, before it becomes more than just a distraction.

⋆｡ﾟ☁︎｡⋆｡ ﾟ☾ ﾟ｡⋆⋆｡ﾟ☁︎｡⋆｡ ﾟ☾ ﾟ｡⋆⋆｡ﾟ☁︎｡⋆｡ ﾟ☾ ﾟ｡⋆⋆｡ﾟ☁︎｡⋆｡ ﾟ☾ ﾟ｡⋆

SECTION 2: PARTS 4, 5 & 6

[nervousladytraveler]

2023 AO3 Fic Review/Wrap-Up

Thank you to the lovely @dreamstone28737 for the tag! ���� I took a long time to respond--sorry!

I didn't really write too many different works this year so I refer to the same titles a few times in my responses below. That said, I did write (or at least post) 307,626 words–not too shabby!

List of Fics Completed This Year

One-Shots: I don’t tend to write too many little fics. But this year I did “The Shift” and “A Brilliant Choice”. Most of my one shots tend to come from prompts (and @veryflowerobservation always sends me good ones). I have another wee fic (“A Question of Trust”) that is a Grace Poldark/Tom Jones crossover story that is completed, but not yet posted. I need to finish reading the novel Tom Jones before I do just to make sure I got it right.

Multi-Chap: Like Someone Who Would Know Her Own Mind and A Rose in December

Series: A Rose in December is now part of a Like Someone Sequels series?

Your Personal Fave

A Rose in December because it just was so enjoyable to write.

Your Fave Scene

My favorite scene ? Hard to choose but maybe a few from A Rose in December. I really enjoyed writing the conversation between Ross and Demelza when they first meet over coffee (Ch 4 “Tiramisu” and Ch 6 “Two of Cups”). My second favorite is the end when they are on the phone with Prudie (especially the bawdy jokes she and her cousin make) in Ch 32 “Candle Dance.” But in truth, I only finished/edited/posted those scenes this year--and really first wrote them a while ago. Does that still count?

A Fic or Scene that Challenged You

Any scene that has characters under emotional duress is always hard for me. I really internalize their feelings and have a hard time shaking them off. There are a few chapters in A Rose in December that show a relationship unravelling. Those were tough and tricky to get right. But also scenes where a lot of plot is covered–those are difficult too! There are a few chapters in Duty that are like that.

A Line of Writing You’re Proud Of

I try not to get too attached to any one line of writing. I am partial to dialogue–the back and forth is fun–but don't have any particular favorite.

A Comment That Touched You

Whenever a reader tells me that something I wrote gave them comfort during a rough spell or that they reread for the same reason, those comments always really move me. Of course I wish no one ever had the need for it, but I'm glad I could somehow help.

Something That Inspired Your Writing

One afternoon last spring while travelling, I slipped into a church in Germany. It was just me and the organist and it was so lovely. That inspired a scene in Ch 41 (“For the Sake of My Tears”) of Duty when Demelza hears the organist practicing in the Truro Cathedral.

Your proudest accomplishment (that one scene; finally finishing that one fic; posting your first fic; etc)

I think the fact that I finished Like Someone (in January of 2023) after so many years of working on it was a massive accomplishment. I do recall feeling a sense of satisfaction that buoyed me for weeks. But then finally finishing A Rose in December (in December 2023) was also profoundly gratifying, so they make nice bookends to the year!

Do You Have Any Writing Goals for Next Year?

I want to try to recreate the joy I found when I stopped working on anything else and immersed myself in finishing A Rose in December. I allowed myself to only focus on that story and was able to design an intentional structure for it--and not get distracted by posting along the way. 

Tagging any and all of my writing my pals — but no pressure! ❤️

P. S. This also came with a stats sheet.  I chose not to do one because it seemed like it would take me further from my goal to focus and enjoy the process of writing more but feel free to make it part of the challenge or not! The template is from dreputationera!

[girl-monkey-odalys]

Five comfort characters, five tags

Thanks for the tag, @popy1ut, and I’m sorry I took so long to respond. I had to think about it for awhile 😂 

Also I know that this was a chain post and I’m supposed to reblog it 😂 but since the chain is so long I’m just going to include your response and mine 🙃

Ok Popy’s response was:

“ohh boy do i have some characters to share.

also thanks for the tag mushysposts

1  ratigan great mouse detective

2  monkey d luffy : one piece  anime

3 scrooge mcduck from ducktals

4 mike and nancy from illumantions sing movie from 2016

5 donaled duck from ducktals

as for ppl im going to be tagging my best pals idk a hole lot of ppl on here lol

girl-monkey-odalys  picapicamagpie

secret-tester”

————

Ok my 5 comfort characters are:

1) Klaus Kickenklober from Sing 2

2) Rafiki from Lion King

3) Gramma Tala (Moana’s grandmother) 

4) The Splinter from the original Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles show

5) Mrs. Potts from Beauty and the Beast

Now I tag:

@singanddisneyfan, @tigresslanzhu, @gianludo, @stinkyhyena9000

(Sorry if you’ve already been tagged and don’t feel like you have to respond 😀).

[genericpuff]

To me the problem with lore olympus and rachel is that she keeps the fan feedback too close to her chest, yes it does "affect her because she's very sensitive" which is smth rachel has said before in interviews and stuff, but the problem is that if u let fan opinions get in the way of ur work maybe u should set boundaries with the way u interact with fan content OF UR OWN WORK.

Im not sure if im explaining myself correctly, but the way rachel somehow always tries to prove criticism wrong and has slowly started ignoring the foundations she previously set is making everything just so flat and boring. She doesnt work with what we've already read but trying to somehow "fix" things that are sometimes not clear on the get go.

For example, u (and a lot of people) complained about how demeter explicitly said she always put persephone in white (when persephone has willingly been wearing that color through the entire series). Meanwhile, i remember having read a post from loreolympians on instagram (iirc) analyzing perse's change of color scheme during s2.

The problem with these things is that rachel has most likely been engaging with these fans who take for granted that she plans everything out or that everything has a deep meaning (which to a sense you should do, because having faith in the author is usually how to go about analyzing storytelling), and somehow it's become a strange echochamber and it results in these weird, very blatantly written to be noticed, details or moments htat try to be smart but are just flat bc rachel doesnt give any effort to anything else aand prefers telling rather than showing so she can feel like a good author when fans obviously point these out

Jdhdjd these are just my two cents and sorry for the long rant but yeah basically rachel should separate herself from the fandom and try to write more objectively and focusing on the narrative instead of taking every little criticism of her comic so personally

Honestly, I can get being a little squeamish around criticism, shit I've had analysis stuff on my work that's consisted of praise and it's still sometimes a little overwhelming to read (I've got a big one in my asks right now that took me like 10 minutes to get thru because I had to keep taking breathers and I still need to actually share it LMAO it's not even criticism! it's just got so much in it, ahfdsaklg)

When it comes to criticism, I still get a little "aw man" sometimes. I recently got feedback from Pyrrhic & Victoria on my Reaper redraws and even though I'm pals with them and know they aren't gonna be harsh, it's still an incredibly vulnerable position to put oneself in. Especially when it's projects that you hold very close to your sense of self.

RS has definitely taken it a little too far in tying LO to herself as a person. Criticism of the comic = criticism of her , and her fanbase seems to view this the same way, that if someone doesn't like the comic, that has to automatically say something about them as consumers when... it really doesn't. If anything their reactions to criticism say way more about them as people than the criticism existing lmao

What's more upsetting and simultaneously eye-rolling is the fact that Rachel goes out of her way to look for things to be upset about. On multiple occasions now over the past 4-5 years, she's snuck into groups containing criticism, attempted to strongarm power away from moderators so she could have criticism removed, and basically just ruined her own day over other people's opinions whether or not they were meant to be read by her.

It's why I stand by the fact that people shouldn't be directly messaging RS with criticism or hate because that would just be unsolicited cruelty. While she should be more open to criticism, that doesn't mean she needs to open the floodgates on her DM's because there are plenty of places for criticism to exist outside of her peripheral. But she keeps turning her head to look at it. Like, she'll throw a hissy fit over criticism that wasn't even really directly aimed at her, just meant for the sake of discussion. And that's where I'd really honestly wish she could just get a grip.

Like, I'm sure there's criticism of Rekindled out there already. Shit, I've had other projects from yeeears ago that ended up being made fun of outside of where I posted it. It sucked, but going out and actively looking for it for the purpose of erasing it from existence wasn't going to make me a better creator nor was it going to benefit me as a person.

It's a shitty reality, but the bigger you grow as a creator, the more you will have to separate yourself from your audience. You don't have to stonewall them completely, many people follow these works for the creators themselves, but you're not entitled to everyone's friendship and praise, and if the criticism really bugs you that much, then fucking work on the thing they're criticizing, don't double down on it or try to control how your audience consumes your content.

It's why it drives me so nuts when RS does infiltrate these groups because it's an incredible invasion of privacy as well as the creator-reader relationship. Q&A's, panels, and personal socials are where you go to interact with the creator. A creator sneaking into a Discord group or subreddit or FB group with the intent of "listening in" would be equivalent to J.K. Rowling showing up in person to a book club meeting. It's just disrespectful to your audience and makes you look like a huge asshole. Have some grace and for once, I'll tell Rachel and her fanbase to take their own advice - if you don't like it, don't read it.

[irregularbillcipher]

hi hi birdie mutual, remember that thing i posted a while ago about how some companions might have gotten nothing in the update due to everything that needed to be known about them being already known?? i was thinking of how does this apply to birdie, and i think it could be becuz well olan and mad dog's mention of them being fathers was just snippets that you get to know of in their bios but dont influence them as much, so in the DE there is more talking about how their experiences being fathers shaped them, then there's birdie who's whole character is basically being the way he is becuz of his sons, succumbing to alcoholism because of the death of his kids and that's a different type of grief from losing someone to the flash, as he's been carrying with this probably before it, so maybe that's why he got little to nothing, all u need to know is how devoted to his kids he was. another interesting thing is he is in that one convo with the depressed guys, but i keep thinking him being in the background and not contributing to trash talking other people is made to show that as much as birdie has sunk in life, he's still a good guy. what do ya think abt this, sorry for long text

no no don't apologize

okay so i agree with you for the most part on the olan and mad dog thing! i would argue that mad dog being a dad is focused on in his bio in a way olan's fatherhood isn't-- his abuse and attitude towards his children makes up 3/4 of his bio after all-- but yeah, still not as much as birdie, considering literally every sentence of his bio either describes him as a single father, describes his children, or describes his grief over losing them. so i do agree that birdie is member whose role as a father was most important to his identity, and probably needed the least explanation

i do still think it's possible to miss that he's a dad-- i've mentioned once or twice that people pretty regularly claim there's no decent dads in lisa because they forget him, and i had a friend who admitted that he thought joey and jimmy were like, pals of his and that he was talking about missing friends since his dialogue just calls them "boys" and doesn't specify they're his kids-- but i can totally see austin and the other devs having the thought of like "the bio says everything about birdie as a dad that it needs to." i would have loved more, obviously, but i can begrudgingly admit that, y'know, i get it

your interpretation of the scene he DID get is cool though! my thought when i saw him in that scene is that it was a sort of meanspirited joke that he was the biggest "loser" in the party-- like yeah, these other losers will trash talk terry and gang up on percy, but birdie is so pathetic to them that they won't even acknowledge him-- but i really really like your interpretation. birdie is a mess in so many ways, but he's never cruel, and he's not resorting to purposefully bringing down others, and it would be cool if his inclusion in the scene was meant to show us that. yeah, he looks like a disaster, he's on his hands and knees and spitting up in a dark corner, but at least he's not joining the loser brigade and being unnecessarily nasty. maybe he's being left out and acting like a wreck, but he's the least loser-y guy in the group, and it says a lot that someone as messy and down-and-out as birdie walks away looking like the most dignified person there

[stanfordsweater]

happy wincest wednesday, ava!! what are your favorite samdean edits you've made so far? (top 5 or top 10)

thank you vicky 🥺 i'll do top 5! i'm sorry this is so late but wincest wednesday is more a state of mind, right???? RIGHT!

starting this off with my soft rock playlist because i'm gonna fail to ever make one of these posts again--i had a really good time putting the playlist together with several discord pals, which was essential help! i have limited knowledge of the genre and i was able to find some gems with their help, so: thanks to y'all <3 i like the composite feel that comes with the several images of different dimensions + i tend to shy away from these paler/overlaid filter style edits, so it was nice to push outside my (very shadowy) comfort zone.

fourth is a tie between this edit from one of my long time favourite songs and this dead in the water gifset! i couldn't decide because i like the first one for the fun narrative switch right at the end that takes it from sam's POV to dean's, but the second one is one of my favourite episodes and has a fun grimy look to it. all good things...

my third fave is unclean in the biblical sense because it really is the sam thesis, as i see it. it's simple, it's clean, and it distills several very important parts of his character in those early seasons into four gifs, which i'm quite proud of! i've seen other versions of this quote with various scenes but none of them have really gripped me and had me nodding along, so i had to make my own.

#2 is this season four parallels post because a. it's the first gifset i finished and thought that i might actually be... good at this... and b. not enough people talk about these VERY deliberate parallels!!!! i LIVE for them.

my this is how you lose the time war post is my number one. i am really proud of the colouring being so different for the different eras but still looking cohesive in the full post, in large part because it's fucking HARD to try to match the colour from kripke era to later seasons. this one was a unique challenge because it's important to me to match my edits with the vibe/theme of the original work, and that book handles time non-chronologically in a way i knew i had to echo with my edit. i felt i had to try to capture the way sam is so cordoned-off, even to the number one person in his life-- sam kept the amulet for YEARS. that is INSANE. his expression when dean finds out he had it this whole time is brain bending. having that in the script was such a beautiful way to illustrate the way sam works, which is that he has his own way to keep himself accountable and to remember the things that shaped him, ways he would never bring up to another person-- the amulet symbolizes his love for dean, his rebellion against john, his personal failures in season 4-- it's in his pocket every day to remind him of what he and dean were-- and then in season 11, with his sentimentality stripped bare in front of dean, it becomes what they are, here and now. and that's really neat.

[sparkagrace]

I thought I would put together a place for all my steve/bucky fics. Sorted into series and standalones, and marked if they're WIPs.

Updated: 24th October 2022

series

🥇 lane lines series [4/4 parts]

tags: swimming au, olympics au, rivals to lovers, slow build, university au, sports au

#1: lane lines ��‍♂️ | 132k (15/15) | mature

Steve Rogers has spent his entire life swimming and now is poised to take the Wakanda 2024 Olympics by storm. The only thing he’s missing is a friendly rival to help get him there. Enter Bucky Barnes, who doesn’t seem to take the sport quite as seriously despite his raw and enviable talent. Steve hates him. Bucky doesn’t care. That makes Steve hate him more.

[tumblr post]

#2: lumiere 🖼️ | 5k (1/1) | mature

Bucky’s not looking at the paintings, he’s staring at Steve with his teeth caught between his bottom lip. “Do you know that your eyes light up when you talk?” Bucky tells him. “You gesture a lot with your hands.” Steve looks over, suddenly shy, as he becomes aware that he’s been talking for an awfully long time. “I’m sorry, I’m probably boring you. I learned all about it and I never get to talk—” “No, it’s fine. I love it. It’s been the most enjoyable part of the day. I like seeing you so excited about something that’s not the pool.”

[tumblr post]

#3: new traditions 🎄 | 6k (1/1) | mature

Steve spends his first Christmas with Bucky. There's some old traditions and maybe some new ones.

[tumblr post]

#4: treading water 🌊 | wip | mature

Olympic swimmer Bucky Barnes always believed that when the time came to retire, he would walk away with his medals and world records firmly in the history books and never look back. He never thought the water would leave him first.

[tumblr post]

👨‍👨‍👧 al, pal and alpine series [6/12 parts]

tags: kid fic, alpine, established relationship, marriage, domestic, family fluff, light angst

the question 🛏️ | 3k (1/1) | teen

“So what did she ask this time? Why is the moon so big?” Bucky asks, rooting through the dresser. “What makes stuff fall, can Alpine understand her, why does she have to eat carrots?” Steve counts off. There’s a pause. “Then she asked The Question.”

[tumblr post]

the pancakes 🥞 | 7k (1/1) | teen

Everything is fine until midway through Wednesday when Bucky’s phone lights up with a message: MISSION PARAMETERS CHANGED. ETA SATURDAY. GOING RADIO SILENT Then another message pops up two minutes later: Everything is okay. I love you both — kiss Allie for me Then everything seems to get worse.

[tumblr post]

ballet shoes 🩰 | 4k (1/1) | teen

“If your daughter is serious about ballet, she needs to be aware of how to present herself. I have told her this myself.” “Wait a second, wait. You spoke to my daughter about her weight?” Bucky can’t see beyond the white fury that’s pounding behind his eyes.

[tumblr post]

post-match ⚽ | 4.8k (1/1) | teen

Steve sniffs and wipes at his nose with the back of his hand. “We had a fight. She’s in her room.” A fight? Steve and Allie might disagree but they don’t fight. At least not to the point where Steve is visibly upset instead of just frustrated. “What happened?” Bucky lowers to his haunches and lightly squeezes Steve’s shoulder in reassurance. Steve presses the palms of his hands against his eyes at the touch. “She said she hated me.”

[tumblr post]

london calling ✈️ | 11k (2/2) | teen

They’ve been on vacations before and there’s some bickering; stupid fights over who was supposed to remember the sunscreen and who is going to drive. Not Steve and Allie leaving Bucky in the middle of the street. Not Bucky choosing not to follow.

[tumblr post]

mouth bones 🦷️ | 4.3k (1/1) | gen

Steve frowns when he sees the confusion on Bucky’s face. “You don’t want to keep our daughter's first teeth? Her baby teeth?” Bucky shrugs. “They're just mouth bones.”

[tumblr post]

standalones

coffee stains ☕ | 6k (1/1) | teen tags: meet-awkward, shrunkyclunks, post-avengers, inspired by notting hill

“Wow, you have a lot of… patriotic memorabilia around your office,” Bucky observes. “Do you, like, cosplay or something?” He chuckles before his eyes suddenly snap towards Steve. He looks back at the costumes hanging off the mannequin and then back at Steve, staring in horror as realisation dawns. “Holy shit, you’re Captain America,” Bucky says at the same time Steve replies with: “I’m not sure what cosplay is.”

[tumblr post]

be kind, rewind 📼 | 47k (8/8) | teen tags: 90s au, movie references, getting together, slow burn, shrunkyclunks

It’s 1994 and Bucky Barnes is stuck in a dead-end job at Blockbuster trying to figure his life out. Until a recently unfrozen Steve Rogers walks through the door and asks him for film recommendations.

[tumblr post]

off the record 📰 | 37k (5/5) | mature tags: shrunkyclunks, post-avengers (2012), reporter!bucky barnes, meet-ugly, avengers tower

The Avengers have a problem. Six months after the Battle of New York, public opinion is beginning to turn on them and they are in dire need of a PR boost. Reporter Bucky Barnes needs to impress his boss enough to get a promotion onto the Features desk. This assignment might get him there, but the fact that he really hates the Avengers is the least of his problems today…

[tumblr post]