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#sorry I couldnt find a full post with these so i made my own
piierrote · 5 months
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Orville Peck + Noah Cyrus
Marvin The Brand Photoshoot 2023
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ceasarslegion · 1 month
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I think one of the reasons the harassment post going around about me is making me so upset is not only because well, its a harassment post about me specifically that people are just uncritically sharing and has reached 2,000 notes now full of tags about how much i should kms and deserve to be shot and killed and how much of a fascist libtard i am based entirely on one meme post i made, but also because i have... already had a really rough month
This month alone i have been woken up at 3am to a slew of emergency texts of one of my best friends attempting suicide, ran to her apartment through sketchy alleyways because i have her spare key, didnt find her there, and had to play the waiting game as to whether or not she was still alive. She was, and went back to work the same day after refusing treatment. And then she just got back together with the guy who drove her to try it because "but i love him and he prommied real hard to change 🥺" and MOVED IN WITH HIM against everybodys screaming at her not to. Now we are in the awkward stage of not really talking to each other before the friendship probably dies out, after which i dont know what will happen to her, but i do have to accept the harsh reality that shes dug her own grave and i cant help her if shes going to act like this.
And then i got extremely harshly disciplined twice at work for stupid reasons. I was treated like a dumbass who cant do anything right because of other people's stupidity trickling down to me, and being blamed for the actions of passengers who didnt speak a lick of any language of any officer we had on the floor at the time and i couldnt effectively communicate the procedures i had to do with. It took me making a big X with my arms to get them to stop. And they treated me like i told them to do that
And then all my friends transfer to different airports because of a contractor switch giving them advancement opportunities as new positions get established. I dont want to advance yet personally, so i decided to stay where i am. Plus, im tied down here by a lease.
And then i wake up to someone spreading that about me yesterday. After i already feel like a piece of shit who cant do anything right and everybody hates or leaves at some point. So yeah its... its lingering a bit
Im sorry to beat a dead horse, ive just a rough month
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crispycrimebrulee · 3 years
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hiii! i love your work and I really admire the way you write 💕💖, so I couldn't resist making a request hehe. if it's not too much of a hassle, i'd like 11 or 22 for Illumi, please. thank you very much in advance, i send you a lot of love from Madrid uwuwu 💗💕💞😘 (and sorry for my bad English 😓😭)
your english is wonderful >:( also MADRID!!! I wanna go to Madrid...
[Prompt #22 "Stop Being Seductive!" "I Was Being Myself, But Okay"] [Fluff and a bit of Crack because I couldnt help it]
A Date?
You stood on the outskirts of a private estate, ¾ of the view of the mansion obscured by a hedge of lush green arborvitae rising above a brick wall about twice your height. Not that you would have been able to see much if the obstructions weren’t there, it was the dead of night and the mansion only provided faint specks of light in the distance, with the scattered decorative lamp posts offering faint halos of light every few feet, but still managing to leave you shrouded in darkness.
Frankly, you had no reason to be there; in the mansion, near it, or outside of it. You had been asked to accompany Illumi on a job, and although this had slowly become a frequent occurrence, it always puzzled you every time. The first time he’d asked you, he had essentially appeared in your living room and asked you to come with him “somewhere” and upon asking him to clarify, he followed with again asking you to come with him, this time saying to join him on a job. You had been ready to participate, but he ended up leaving you standing around nowhere near the actual action, and would then return to you after 30 minutes and would bring you home. Now, this had been about the tenth time he’d asked you to join him on a job, knowing very well he’d have you standing around waiting for him. This was only made stranger by the fact that not only did he have someone that he did jobs with (a questionable jester), but you had actually actively participated in jobs with Illumi, so why Illumi had changed your position from job partner to benching you. In his defense, you had failed to ask him why he had been doing this lately, rather, you had been attempting for the last 3 or so meetings to figure it out yourself. There were no logical reasons as to why he dragged you to his missions but his ‘work partner’, as Illumi so endearingly referred to, had once run into you while you were waiting on the sidelines for Illumi and given you a strange bit of insight in passing.
He had questioned why Illumi had you waiting out there all by your lonesome, knowing how much Illumi cared for you. Cared for you? That was an interesting bit of news… Illumi had never made it apparent that he so much as a thought of you other than a work associate, let alone that he ‘cared’ for you beyond that. As this jester had left you standing in the dark, a final passing comment of “what a strange way to bond with someone you fancy” caught you off guard.
A way to bond?
Someone you fancy?
Granted this was Illumi Zoldyck you were talking about, and he was dense like fruitcake in terms of making bonds and connections other than things pertaining strictly to work, but the thought of him fancying you and trying to bond with you made your gears turn.
On your end, you’d done a surprisingly good job at keeping your own feelings towards Illumi at bay, weary about how he would react to the prospect of someone fancying him. You couldn’t really lie to yourself when you thought about him. One would definitely call him strange, which was an understatement in most circumstances, but something about his strangeness and lack of awareness for social cues was oddly endearing. Little quirks about how he liked his tea or the occasional indulgence he took part in, or his particular hair care routine always managed to captivate you. Along with his (albeit something he was at a default) honesty and genuine answers, and his offhand compliments, you struggled to keep yourself together at his awkwardness. Not to mention, he was simply physically stunning, while some would call him rather plain. It might be his plainness that intrigued you, but it wasn’t like it’d be wrong to think so. Even if you felt this way about him, he had no way of knowing, and you had no inclination that it was reciprocated. He’d never made it known about having feelings for you, so you wondered if the two of you were playing an evenly matched waiting game with each other at this juncture.
Why would he feel the same anyway? It’s not like you were eccentric like that questionable jester Illumi was friends with, or that you came from an affluent family of assassins… you provided no value to Illumi other than… company.
“Let's go.”
You shifted your eyes around, noticing Illumi standing beside you, his eyes burning into yours. How long had he been standing there…?
You nodded, picking yourself up off the wall, and began walking back the way you two had come, only for Illumi to stand in front of you and stop you.
“This way.” he pointed behind you and you turned, looking at hazy streetlamps down the way.
“But home is” you pointed past him in the opposite direction, “this way.”
“I am bringing you somewhere. This way.” he turned you around and began walking further away from home with you in tow.
“Where are we goin’ Illu?” you asked, wondering what was past the dark street if anything at all.
“The park,” he answered, still walking, his eyes straight ahead.
Wasn’t it around 1am? What could be at the park at this hour?
Upon arriving at the park, the park was equally as dark as the street by the mansion, and since the scarce lights in the park were so dim, it only served to make the park feel barren, especially with only you and Illumi here.
He’d stopped by a bench situated in front of a small pond, the water gently breaking the silence whilst reflecting soft moonlight, and you couldn’t help but get lost in your thoughts while staring at the dark pond until Illumi called your name.
You didn’t answer, you only let your distant gaze fall on him, taking him in one aspect at a time. Everything, everything was perfect about him, regardless if that was what he was ‘created’ to be or if your thoughts about him made you feel like he was perfect. What had his friend been thinking, “someone you fancy”? Compared to Illumi you were nowhere near perfection, you still had so much work to do on yourself and perfecting your trade, yet the hint that Illumi felt something towards you felt absolutely absurd when you realized what you were up against. Apart from living up to his family's expectations, would you be able to live up to his? Highly unlikely, at least to you.
There you stood, brooding at Illumi who was merely standing there looking stunning, although there was rarely a time he didn’t.
“Y/n.”
Nothing out of you yet again, still brooding.
“Y/n.”
Again, calling out to you like you’d left the scene as he stared at you as you stared at him.
“Y/n you are staring.”
You scowled, finally looking away, huffing as you did so.
“You’re being….seductive. Stop being seductive!” you muttered, attempting to inspect the tops of your shoes.
You glanced at him and he blinked, big eyes holding a sense of genuine confusion as he slowly answered.
“I was not.”
“Yes, you are!”
“I was being myself, but okay y/n.”
You sighed, giving him a glare as you sat down on the bench, feeling somewhat defeated and wholly embarrassed for attempting to call him out… on seductiveness.
“Why’d you bring me here anyways?” you asked, kicking at the rocks on the ground.
“A date.”
You turned your head fast enough you felt the strain in your neck from doing so. Eyes wide and full of confusion, you attempted to string a coherent sentence together all while giving him a bewildered look.
“Date? Now?”
“Yes. This is a date.”
You cocked your head to the side and squinted at him.
As smart as he is, he seems to be as thick as mince when it comes to dates…
“Illumi this isn’t… a date.”
“Yes, it is.”
“We’re sitting in a park, Illu. In the middle of the night.”
“Did you prefer the previous occurrences as dates?”
“What previous occurrences…” you whispered, wondering how he could become vaguer and vaguer with his view of dates.
“My missions.”
“Those were dates?!” you slumped down in your spot, rubbing your face with your hands.
“Were you not aware.”
“Those aren’t dates! You never even asked me on a date!”
“I asked you to come with me.”
“That's asking to tag along! Not a date!”
He was silent for a moment, looking at you with a classically vacant look before speaking up.
“I will take you on a date.”
“That’s a nice sentiment, Lumi, but when? And why?”
“Tomorrow. I like you.”
Slack-jawed but somewhat satisfied (courtesy of his honesty, no matter how jarring) you nodded slowly, wondering if that jester wasn’t so wrong after all.
“Okay.”
“Good.”
He took a seat by you, watching the water as well. You never could tell what he was thinking, and more often than not you’d rather not find out, but whatever those thoughts were now… he seemed calmer, almost or at least at ease. Whether that was due to your acceptance of a (proper) date or not was something you’d maybe find out later, but that was of little concern right now.
The main concern would be finding a last-minute date outfit… and hoping it wasn’t the park during the day.
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bloomingnono · 3 years
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meant it. (part 2)
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pairing: jeno x reader
genre: angst, fluff
word count: ~ 1.7 k
warnings: language (like one curse word akjds)
intro l part 1 l part 2
a/n: im so sorry for the long wait:( i wanted to make sure i did my best, and wrote something i was overall pretty content with! but here’s the second, and final part to “meant it”!! i hope you all enjoy, especially my dear 🍿anonie<3
also not me making major adjustments 5 minutes before posting💀
taglist of my loves: @luvlyjaemin @vera-liscious @lenaluvs
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Your bed felt cold. The type of cold that left your body weak. And yet again, you found yourself fighting to let sleep consume you.
You hesitantly turned to your left side, hoping that maybe, this was all just one big nightmare. That maybe when you turned around, he’d be there.
But you were only met with the other side of your bare bed; your lamp casting an amber tinge on your snow-white sheets.
Four weeks had passed since those final words had been exchanged. He had left you broken.
To say you missed him was an understatement.
You longed for the way your heartbeat quickened at his sight. You longed for the way your stomach fluttered as your name effortlessly slipped out of his lips. You longed for his touch; the way his fingers lingered against your skin.
You missed him.
But at what cost? To hear those three empty words leave his mouth?
No. Never again.
It was unfair to Jeno. But most of all, it was unfair to you.
You didn’t deserve to be told such idle lies.
Especially not from the one person you would give up your entire life for.
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Jeno was a naive soul; so sincere and trusting of what only met the eye.
Mistakes were a daily occurrence in his life; learning and growing from them as he paved his way through.
.
But the second you left, he knew he had made the biggest mistake yet.
.
On the night when everything ended, there was an inexplainable feeling of void growing within him.
He didn’t have a reason to smile, nor the energy to cry.
Unlike anything he’d ever experienced before, he felt incomplete. It left him numb.
Before he knew it, four weeks had already gone by.
Four weeks since he last held your frame in his grasp. Four weeks since he last saw the face he once fell in love with. Four weeks since he left you utterly broken.
But in those four weeks, Jeno wasn’t living. He was simply existing.
He was merely left in his world; his actions and their consequences, being his sole companion.
He knew it was unfair to continue to lie and prolong the inevitable. But, why did it feel so wrong? It was the right decision to choose... right?
‘To choose.’
It seemed like such a simple action. It was something we did on a daily basis; nearly every second of every day.
Yet it held so much influence.
Jeno had finally realized that now.
Everything in life was purely a choice.
.
Everything.
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You lie on your bed, your mind lost in all the bumps and ridges that painted your cream-colored ceiling.
It was late into the night, the moon peeking its way through the slits of your window blinds. The silence was peaceful, yet deafening.
Despite the unsettling aspects of the stillness, you’re ready for it to devour you; yearning for that feeling of tranquility that you haven’t felt in weeks.
But just as you are about to give in, you’re abruptly interrupted by frantic raps on your front door. Jostling up into a sitting position, you force yourself off your bed to check and see who was causing such a fuss.
The knocks on your door persist, not allowing for a single moment of intermission.
Apprehension quickly overtakes your body, frightened at what could possibly cause such actions to befall at this ungodly hour.
You hesitantly grab your doorknob, carefully turning it and opening the door just a fraction of the way.
You are met with a hunched figure; their hands on their knees and their hair damp with —what can only be assumed as— sweat. Their labored breathing leads you to believe they had run here, and hastily at that.
After a few short-lived seconds, you carefully try to assess the situation; fear still coursing throughout your body.
“Can I help you..?”
The figure instantly tenses at your tone, as if taken aback by the sound of your voice.
You watch in confusion as they begin to catch their breath, and stand to their full height. Straining your eyes to try and identify their face, you’re left frozen at the single feature that was recognizable even in pitch darkness.
His eyes.
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You instinctively take a step backward, distrusting your vision.
But your presumption reigns true, as the figure tentatively takes a step forward through the doorway; his face now fully illuminated by your foyer light.
.
Lee Jeno.
.
He seemed to be in a terrible state: his hair a mess from the sweat, his clothes violated by the wind, and his breaths still quite uneven.
You attempt to try and form a coherent sentence, but the words seem to die in your throat. You could only look up at him, staring blankly with your mouth hung open.
“Wha... What are you doing here...?”
“I came to see you. I needed to talk to you. Immediately.” His expression was unreadable, yet his tone held the familiar hint of desperation. “I miss you. I want— No. I need you back. Nothing in this world seems right when I’m not with you. I’m not who I am without you. I need you…”
The silence that follows is unbearable.
It takes a few moments for his words to sink in. You feel your eyebrows furrow in confusion, contorting your features into a frown.
But the confusion is quickly replaced with the dreaded feeling of anger. It swiftly fills your entire soul, kindling a flame. The one emotion you tried so hard to repress, viciously engulfs your entire body.
The words that had once died in your throat, quickly resurrect and force their way out of your mouth.
You find your voice again. However, this time, it is nothing but cold and bitter.
“Lee Jeno, I love you. I’m not ashamed to say that I’m still hopelessly in love with you, because I am. But you aren’t. And that’s why I let you go.”
The floodgates were finally opened. There was no going back.
“As much as I still loved you, and as much as it killed me to accept that you didn’t return those feelings for me anymore; I let you go. Want to know why? Because your happiness means so much more than my own. I let you go because I love you so fucking much.”
Jeno stares at you with wide eyes, unable to summon a statement that could somehow ease the pain in you eyes. “I-“
“No, listen!!” Your voice begins break, unable to keep your emotions at bay. The words flow out of your mouth quicker than your mind could process. “I wanted to blame you. I wanted to hate you and resent you so badly for everything you put me through, but I couldnt. Because I still fucking love you!!”
The last statement leaves your throat raw. But you persist.
“You really got some nerve, Lee Jeno.” You laugh humorlessly at the pure audacity, before turning back to him with a renewed flame.
“You left me absolutely shattered. And I couldn’t even hate you for it. I refuse to let you hurt me again. I refuse to watch, as the love for me floods out of your eyes again. I REFUSE!!!”
Every last bit of your energy is wasted on your final words as you scream them at the top of your lungs.
The angry tears streaming out of your eyes seem endless. Your whole body trembles with pure fury as you collapse to the floor, legs giving out beneath you.
Jeno instinctively scrambles to your side, supporting your fragile form with his own.
Too weak to fight against his hold, you allow yourself to be braced by him; the touch being all too familiar for your liking.
“Why? Why are you doing this to me?” You purposely avoid his gaze as you ask, your voice impossibly faint. You’re left completely exhausted; the anger quickly transforming into pure defeat.
There’s a moment of hesitancy. You feel the sharp intake of breath that he takes before the reply is given.
.
“I... love you.”
.
Those three words that you once adored, and now despised... Those three words that had eased all your pain, but now caused your suffering...
Those three words... were no longer hollow.
.
He meant it again.
.
A chill swiftly travels down from the top of your spine to the tip of your toes, leaving you senseless.
He promptly proceeds; the hesitancy in his tone now replaced with a new-found determination.
“I love you. And not because I have to, but because I want to.” Cold fingers gently grip your chin, tilting it up to meet his gaze. “Loving you is not merely a spark. Loving you is not lust or simple desire. Loving you is a commitment. I want to wake up every day, and choose to love you.”
There’s another moment of silence; tears of regret traveling down to drip from the point of his chin.
“I’m so sorry for... everything.” He chokes back a sob as the words get caught in his throat. “I loathe myself for being the cause of all this. I will never forgive myself for hurting you and... and I completely understand if you aren’t willing to forgive me either-“
Before he could finish, you crash your lips onto his; successfully silencing his statement. Tears continue to descend both your guys’ cheeks, unable to subside from the overwhelming sense of comfort that came with being in the others’ warmth again.
You sense a familiar arm snake around your waist, pulling you deeper into the contact. Your own arms loop around his neck, absorbing the touch that you had longed for, so intensely.
You pull away from the kiss, coming face to face with the love of your life.
.
“You have no idea how much I missed feeling those words.” The sentence is muttered, speaking to yourself more than anyone else.
But he heard them nonetheless.
.
You feel his slender fingers encase either side of your face, his cool touch sending a wave of shock throughout your body. Keeping your face steady in his hands, he slowly leans his forehead against yours.
With his eyes closed and without a single waver in his voice, the words slip out again.
.
“I love you.”
.
You soak up the comfort that alluded from such simplicity.
You know that you guys aren’t perfect. Nowhere near it.
But what mattered, was that you were in each other’s hold again.
.
.
Because you loved each other...
.
.
And you meant it.
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end.
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ratanslily · 3 years
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Irreplaceable
pairing: bryce lahela x f!mc (Dr. Theia Valentine)
genre: angst but with happy ending.
about the fic: im just giving bryce's premium scene some closure ♡
inspo: this post by @ofpixelsandscribbles
a/n: I've never written for my mc before oof i hope i did her justice!! honestly this fic was so rushed (like all my fics lmao, i write on impulse, not meticulous planning and its a self indulgent fics so i dont rlly expect people to read because i kinds wrote it for my own sanity)
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"We should do this much, much more often"
"Agreed."
Bryce looked around the on-call room. So much changed, the beds, the technology,  the lights... and maybe them. or maybe he was the one who changed.
Theia smiled and took his hand in his, beckoning him to accompany him back to the party. He slowly removed her hand away from his and took a step back. his face grew serious as he said,
"its.. probably not a good idea"
"why?"
"its just.. I don't know.. just go ahead, without me, I dont want to draw attention to us."
Theia could tell there was much more to Bryce's strange behaviour. Ever since they started their third year, she could see something was wrong with him, something was troubling him. but when they'd get intimate, all worries would go away and he'd get back to his normal self.
so what happened?
"so it's all a game to you, isn't it?"
"wh-what?"
"you don't need me.. you just want me to satisfy your needs"
"liste-"
"No, Dr. Lahela.  listen to me.", Theia raised her voice as her eyes started glistening with fresh tears.
"was it all a game to you? I thought we had something special.. something unique.. something homely.. when you dropped your fries just to kiss me..when you comforted within these same 4 walls, when we longed to feel each other when I was sick, when you walked me home after the funeral.. I guess I was a fool, I was just a distraction to you, wasn't it?"
she turned on her heels and made way to the door. Before her hands could even touch the handle, she felt Bryce's shaking hand on her shoulder.
"Theia.. please. please stay."
"what for?"
as much as she wanted to resist, she turned back to find Bryce on the verge of tears, with a face full of longing for her.
---
Bryce never hated anything more than the sight of Theia in pain. tonight, he made her cry.
He never meant to hurt her. but he always knew this day would come, especially since they started their third ywar of residency. He knew she and him would end up on different paths.
so why try? why grow close, just to fall apart? kiss, just to say goodbye? make memories, just to move on and forget them?
but he fell,  he fell hard for her. against his best wishes. he found himself caring more for her rather than himself. he found her tears as his own. maybe more painful than his own. when he found her alone on the floor, crying all by herself, he couldnt stop himself from comforting her, feeling the same hurt as she did. they grew closer faster than he imagined, but he loved every second of their relationship.
the day he saw Theia behind the glass walls, trying to reach for him, he aligned his hand on hers, with a glass wall between them. he needed her more than ever in that moment. that night, when he sat by her side, close but not close enough, he felt it.
he felt it surging thru his veins.
he felt love.
but he didnt admit it, for the fear of rejection.
he thought of himself as someone who was easily replaceable, someone who was just a second option to others, never the priority.
little did he know, all Theia wanted is, him by her side, no one else. She never thought of him as the second option, but as the only option.
---
Theia softened at the sight of him holding back his tears and silently cursed herself for being the reason behind his tears.
"im sorry for being so loud, but tell me one thing, Bryce. Do you even need me anymore?"
her words struck him right in the heart.
"if you dont have any answer, I'll go. I'll never bother you again.."
He looked right into her eyes, feeling more vulnerable than ever.
As the tears gently rolled down his cheek, he said,
"I need you, Theia. I need you by my side. I need you to be by my side at every moment of my day, not just at fancy rich parties, but by my side when i wake up to find you curled up in the sheets,  when I make coffee for us and you scoff at the amount of sugar i put in our latte, when there's something on my cheek during lunch and you offer to kiss it off. when i have trouble sleeping at nights and you offer to cuddle me until i feel safe. when i hate the movie you pick, and doze off with my head of your shoulder. I would always need you. But.. what if.. one day.. we don't need each other anymore?"
"what if one day.. say when you've completed your third year here and get a job in a place far away, away from me, away from us. what if there's no "us" anymore? what if you find someone better? what if one day, i end up badly heartbroken, if you ever do so? better keep my distance to lessen the pain, isnt it? Im replaceable, after all."
She couldn't believe the words he said, the feelings he was going through. She felt more horrible than ever for lashing out at him when he felt all of this.
She held his hand, and guided him to one of the beds.  they sat down together,  with her head on his shoulders. Tonight, roles were reversed, she was the one comforting him.
"I didn't know you felt all of this, and im sorry that I misjudged your behaviour."
she rubbed his arms, soothingly and continued,
"I dont know how to tell you this, but i can never go away from you, ever. for physically we may be apart but emotionally and mentally,  i find my home and my residence in your heart. I just-"
she took a deep breath.
"I just love you so much. I dont want you to drift apart from me. and from us. I maybe  a doctor and such sentimental stuff may sound crazy, coming outta my mouth but, I just want to make one thing clear."
she carefully removed her head from his shoulders and turned to look at him.
"Dr. Bryce Lahela, your name is engraved in my every heartbeat. Other people may try to change it, but I know they're gonna fail, as I don't love anyone else apart from you. Do i make this clear?"
Bryce's lips curled into his classic beautiful smile as he started to speak, but Theia cut him off.
"and you better not call yourself replaceable next time, or im gonna punch you so hard."
she playfully punched him, earning a hearty laugh from him.
"Now, now Valentine, would you give me the mic to talk?"
She nodded and he continued.
"I don't think I expected a love confession to be in the very room we hooked up, ans honestly its kind of iconic, though i expected a few roses and all that glam..."
".. but you're enough to make my heart leap with joy. No roses needed, no chocolates required."
he took a moment to choose his words,
"I may be good at giving prep talks and all that stuff, but wow, I suck at this. Its probably cause i never did this before.. so let me get to it.. I love you too, Theia."
Theia crashed her lips into his for a fulfilling kiss as they both shared tears of joy,  finally confessing their love after 2 years of pure longing and messing around.
"Whew, who thought these simple 4-5 words would be so hard to say?"
She simply nodded as she wrapped her hands around his for those precious moments of bliss and joy.
yes, the walls, the beds, the room and the infrastructure around them changed, but they were still the same 2 people as from before,  with the same love and feelings in their heart.
and no amount of change could ever change that.
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elika-simpika · 3 years
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This is my first post so sorry for any spelling mistakes and such.
Bakugou x Fem reader
Contains: edging?, Nonon, probably bad grammar and spelling, and uh I really dont know what else so enjoy ;')
You had been following him for a while. Trying to find the truth. With the cat like quirk you had, it was easy to follow heros around undetected. It made it easy for a reporter like you to find the truth.
You started about 3 weeks ago, after an interview with the hero. You had heard that he was rude and sarcastic but he was much worse then you thought. Not only that but he just over all gave you bad vibes.
You were on top of building, jumping from to another, looking over the hero on his patrol. You made sure to never take your eyes off of him for even a second.
You noticed that the hero had started to slow down and eventually even stopped. Not wanting to miss anything you quickly grabbed your camera and notepad. Only taking your eyes of the hero for not even a second, you look back noticing he was gone. You look around frantically trying to spot him but nothing.
"What the fuck do you think you're doing?"
You whip around to find the one and only Katsuki bakugou, standing right in front of you. You fumble for words only to get interrupted.
"Hah, did you really think I wouldn't notice. You are pretty sneaky for an average being but not good enough to get past me."
"If you wanted to get an autograph or some shit, you didn't need to stalk me. I'd be more than glad to give a cute little fan like you one."
You quickly get up, now irritated saying " I'm not some stupid fan of yours" Looking him right in the eyes you say "I'm here to find the truth about the so called hero Dynamite. Aka you. I know theres something you have got to be hiding and I plan on finding it and exposing the true you."
After hearing your words, you see that he has a dark and creepy smirk but ignore it. You start walking away only to be grabbed by the arm.
"Let me go!" you scream.
"You reporters think your so great don't ya? Going around, trying to 'find the truth'. Its all a load of BS." you hear him say.
He pulls you close so that his lips are right next to your ears and he whispers "So what if I'm hiding some shit? What's a weak little girl like you gonna do about it-" Before he can finish, you slap him across the face, making him let you go, standing there , shocked that you would dare put your hands on him.
Before you have a chance to run, he pushes you down to the floor, pinning you down, having you trapped between the floor and him.
"Get the fuck off me you creep!", you shout.
"I'm the creep? Who was the one being a little stalker just a few minutes ago" he says.
You push forward, trying to get him off of you, only succeeding in running up against him.
"Fuck" he says . "Girls like you just need their little pussies filled up, dont you"
You look at him shocked. You start struggling, panicking. "Get the hell off of me! I will report your creepy ass if you try anything!" you shout, trying not to sound scared.
Bakugou had had enough of your voice. Using one hand, he held both of yours above your head, using the other to go down to your pants and rip the crotch area, leaving you exposed.
"Hah, no underwear I see. Suiting for a whore such as your self" he says as he starts rubbing his fingers between your folds.
Ar this point you are in full panicking. Screaming shouting and trying to kick him off, anything to keep him from touching you. But it is all to no avail.
He brings the hand that was holding your own down to your throat. Grabbing it tight, saying "Keep fucking screaming and struggling and I'll blow your fucking little throat up. You're gonna let me have my fun and your gonna enjoy it. Got it?"
With eyes starting to tear up you nod. Not wanting to be killed by this so called hero you let him have his way with you.
He inserts two fingers making you flinch. You start crying even more at his words " Fuck you're so tight. My cock will feel so fucking amazing in here"
He starts moving his fingers, scissoring and curling them, hitting just the right spots in you making a small moan escape from you.
A dark chuckle escapes from his lips as he says "Such a fucking slut. Enjoying the fingers of a man you barely fucking know."
You shake your head no. Not wanting to admit it. You didnt enjoy this. You didn't lie it at all. But your body couldnt help but betray you.
He starts moving his fingers faster, adding another one. Scissoring faster and harder, curling them more. You're so close. He can feel it.So right when you're about to reach your orgasm, he pulls them out.
Hearing a low whine come from you he laughs.
"Did you really think I was just going to let a little bitch like you come like that?"
He pulls out his cock. Rock hard with precum already leaking out. He allows you to get up just enough to see it.
Your eyes go wide. When you lay your eyes on it.
"N-no way..." you whisper just loud enough for bakugou to hear you. "That wont fit....it cant fit.." you mumble. You start begging him. Pleading for him to just let you go now. Pleading for him to not put that thing inside of you. But it's no use.
Putting the tip by your entrance he says, "Just relax will ya. I'll make it fit." And with that he thrusts his length into you, earning a loud scream from you. You're crying more than before now. Chest heaving up and down. Having a difficult time catching your breath.
He doesn't move for a bit. Giving you time to adjust. But not before long he is moving inside of you. Starting with slow thrusts but gradually speeding up.
" Fuck. You're so fucking tight" he says as he pound into you. It hadnt been long and he can already feel you reaching your orgasm .
"Gonna cum already?" He says. Taking a finger, he reaches for your puffy little nub. He brushes a finger against it, earning a loud moan from you.
"P-p-please..." you manage to say .
"Please what? Let you cum?"he says in a locking tone. You nod your head yes, not being able to form proper sentences anymore.
"I'll let you cum. Just admit that you wanted this. Admit that this is what you wanted from the beginning. Admit that you are nothing but a little cockslut." He says between his grunts.
"N-no..."you say. "P-plea-se ju-st-t l-let me" you manage to stutter out. But Bakugou isnt having it.
He brushes his finger against your clit once more earning a reaction from you. "I'll let you when you admit it" he says.
"Please..." you say.
Finally giving in, not being able to take it anymore you say " yes! I-im a little c-cockslut! T-this is w-what I wanted f-from t-the begi-nning".
Satisfied with your words he starts rubbing it once more. It's not long before your orgasm crashes over you. That doesn't stop bakugou tho. He continues. Now at a merciless pace chasing his own high.
As soon you can feel another orgasm coming.
"fuck I'm close" he says as he starts rubbing your clit again at a much harsher pace feeling another orgasm coming from you.
He starts speeding up, soon about to cum inside your pretty little cunt. Realization hits you and scream " Not inside! Please..".
But it's too late. His hips stutter as he come asleep inside you, continuing to pound as your own orgasm hits you once more.
He collapses pm you for a bit before getting up. Putting his clothes back in order, he says, "I'll see you again little reporter". Then hes gone. You're left alone on the rooftop. Cumdripping between your legs. Shavking a bit. With puffy face from all your crying.
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fallingsunflower · 3 years
Text
BESTIES I'm so sorry - I hit my post limit waaaay earlier than expected! Some of y'all joined me on my backup account, (which I also hit the limit on lmao), but I'm back now.
I had over 400 asks to go through and I'll give you a warning that not all of them will appear (either because they were old or because they were topics we already answered). But here is a giant list of asks I compiled for you from when I wasn't allowed to post lol they don't really require my response but I found them entertaining to read. Hope you don't mind I've just put them all together in one post. It's also to save me from using up my 250 posts lol
"this is all so embarrassing like my god imagine when the promotion of the movie starts how horrible it will be for other people who made the movie too"
"SELL UR TICKETS TODAY WATCH THE MOVIE ILLEGALLY, next article we’ll be talking about these two assholes filing for bankruptcy. cheap harlots. don’t mess with your meal ticket."
"hate to say it but i defs think they‘ve got a sliver of the gp’s attention for five minutes"
"I am scanning through all these photos looking for just ONE where he looks like he's smiling and enjoying this. It's so crazy."
"I guess those are all the pics we’re getting right now. But I wouldn’t be surprised if they finish the Italy trip off with one more major Backgrid photo shoot."
"Olivia’s trending on Twitter but not Harry. Like it’s obvious who’s getting the PR gains here!"
"If they dont give us a 6 month or more break after this im gonna need them to pay for my therapy bills from now on bc of this damage no joke let me crawl back into my shit hole now 😑"
"The palce they at is referred to as “tuscanys best-kept secret”. Everyone point and laugh."
"she looks like she’s enjoying all of this. he looks like he wants to push her into the water."
"a few people said he’s keeping his shorts pulled up or covered in all the shots because of the Nike branding which they ask to not get photographed. What a setup."
"Man I knew the second those Tomdaya pics came out of them kissing and how they were trending so fast that HO were going to do something to 'top' them. Its pathetic /// FRRR. she probably hoped for the positive reactions that people gave tom & zendaya but unfortunately, miss girl got the opposite. when will they realize that nobody, but his fans, find them cute lmao can they just stop, it’s so embarrassing 😭😭😭"
"He really out here doing this with someone who almost old enough to be his mother, shiiiiiiiit. Sickening. Sick of these 2 for real now, i was fine with the good old blurry back content and whatnot but this? Crossing a line here nobody wanna see that shit and knowing how people feel goooooood damn."
"I aboslutely despise kendall for obvious reason but this one is actually worse than the hendall one bc you couldnt really see as much as now dis gos tang."
"She’s also wearing the cross necklace again. I feel like if that was so meaningful to her she wouldn’t risk loosing it in the ocean 🙄"
"guys have eyes on tmz. I Do not have tw now. they were so aggressive towards them"
"I'm sorry for Harry because you lost your damn mind bro"
"Now why the hendall pics are better ?? NO SHADE BUTT"
"I’m genuine confused like do they actually want dwd to flop or what? I just threw up in my mouth I sure as hell ain’t gonna watch their sorry ass movie. Is it supposed to flop? I’m so confused!"
"The match was not interesting enough so they cooked up something different especially since people were pointing out how they staged the PDA. And the page 6 article is out already!!!"
"Who the fuck thought this was a good idea"
"Is it just me or does harry's face looks really blank for someone out on a Romantic date with his alleged girlfriend.?"
"if thats it, harry hasn’t no game🤣🤣🤣🤣"
"so this is why the tabloids weren’t talking about the match pics! they didn’t have any value on their own. now with the yacht pics? my oh my they’re gonna get the clicks of their lives. her team was prob like “wait a sec we got something for y’all”"
"If they were models hired to act like a couple they wouldn't get the job......"
"Not them starring right at the camera in some of them help make it less obvious will you"
"HENDALL🤣🤣🤣is that uuuu"
"Harry’s ass crack thought it should make an appearance too."
"What a great day for team PR, happy Monday you guys! Let's pop the champagne 🍾🍾🍾🍾 P. S. They both need acting lessons, tbh"
"It’s quite interesting how everything that’s happened before I’ve seen predicted weeks/and in advance on blogs or fan accounts. Like his life has always been so predictable but damn"
"He was hiding the Nike check. That’s why his swim trucks are rolled up to an absurd degree even for him. He knew he was gonna get photographed."
"What I’m noticing is wether people like them together or not, everyone’s saying they’re aren’t a hot couple…there was more chemistry in the Kendall pics by far"
"i also find it weird that he’s not smiling in any of the pictures and it would be one thing if there were five pics from ten minutes of time but there are like 70 from an obvious extended period of time"
"It's interesting everyone involved is being Team Try Hard. Yet the universe says no. The last set of pics, Tom and Zendaya overshadowed. People even paid more attention to Angelina and the Weekend (even if business possibly). Fast forward to today and all this fakery only for Gwen/Blake to tie the knot. His team needs to get a clue. She needs to go. Harry needs to clean this up fast."
"Ok i looked at one hugging pic and one kidding pic and they could not look more stagged. It looks unatural ,strange and weird from all angles. You can clearly see from their body posture they are posing for a photographer from backgrid."
"Like I said in my ask a couple days ago the day we get kissing pics is the day that I believe this is all a stunt and I was right. They took a page out of hendall 2016 and it’s looks so forced and awkward. Hendall did it better cause at prater they had chemistry. They must be scared this movie is going to tank because they are pushing this way too hard"
"Real, PR, or whatever relationship it is, they’re fucking boring. You are on a yacht in Italy, can’t you have a little bit of fun? I can’t believe how boring they are, I just can’t. Even if it is just PR, can’t you make a fucking dumb joke so you can laugh or something? Do they have anything in common like to talk about or discuss or make fun of? I’d literally killed myself if I looked like that in a relationship. They are not communicating in any photos we’ve got. They are just walking, or sitting. Even when they hold hands or kiss or hug, they never communicate."
"okay but did ya’ll see the pic of her diving in?? i can’t stop laughing 😭😭😭😭"
"they look horrifically awkward i cannot believe what harry is doing"
"“HEY PAPS COME GET A PIC OF US KISSING TO MAKE OUR RELATIONSHIP MORE BELIEVABLE!!!!!”"
"his ass is hanging out and her bra is almost off what in the hell"
"Hqs on a yacht like that? Mhmhmhm hmmmmm / I bloody well hope that’s not the extend of their acting. That’s dire! 🤦‍♀️"
"this is literally the most predictable “couple” to exist. first, people talked about them showing up the game, and they did. second, people were just talking about kissing pics... AND THEY JUST CAME OUT LMAOOOOOO"
"annnnnnnnnnnnnd there it is. YOU KNOW THEY KNEW THERE WAS A CAMERA."
"ok but where’s the pda or did that get made up? cause these have to be the most awkward pics i’ve ever seen which makes me feel better 😂 also i can feel the meme’s coming with the one of her diving off the boat"
"I call it how I see it they are both assholes and full of shit. Like do your fake kiss somewhere else I do not want to see it!"
"Can they at least act like they’re having a good time?"
"hahahaha I can't stop laughing with that photo of O it's literally her knowing she's being photographed and diving into a professional swimmer style😭"
"the pics are so organic that Olivia is looking straight at the pap before kissing Harry."
"he looked a lot happier with kendall in their yacht pics compared to today’s. i know that was PR too, but he was very smiley and seemed talkative. with this girl it’s like the complete opposite lmao."
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flooffybits · 4 years
Text
R.o.S.E Blue
Idol: Kim Minji (Dreamcatcher)
Request: Yes
Anon: i saw this idea from an anon from another blog but couldnt find the exact post thingy… dc rose blue mv but jiu’s gf comes with her to save the girls and she has the same gun jiu has. instead of there being 5 bullets, there are six (since the reader is also there) and at the end after jiu shoots gahyeon, she was gonna shoot the reader with the last bullet but the reader actually switched their weapons (now jiu has no bullets) so reader shoots jiu and sacrifices herself
Author’s note: this is really sad and it hurts more because minji really cried when they did gahyeon’s scene
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“Ji, are you sure this is where they are?” You couldn’t help but ask your girlfriend when you walked through the empty city streets. Your girlfriend looked around and nodded her head, turning before you both notice the run down school just up ahead. “If my gut is right, they have to be here. And there aren’t that many places to look since most of the buildings have collapsed.” She replied while taking your hand, making sure that you didn’t stray too far away from her.
As soon as she saw the gun by her feet when she came to, she knew that finding the girls would be a priority. But when she stumbled into you after you had just come out of another building, she felt a bit more relieved in knowing that you weren’t gone.
Heading inside, there was a sound that caught your attention and you both looked to each other before nodding and heading into one of the closed classrooms. When you opened the door, you immediately caught sight of Yoohyeon sitting in the middle of the room.
As her eyes landed on you two, they narrowed when she saw the gun in both of your hands. Her brow raised when she looked at your girlfriend, a frown on her lips as she leaned back. “You’re really doing this?” Her voice was flat, almost looking betrayed while your girlfriend gripped the gun tight in her hands before leveling it so that it was pointed to her friend’s head.
You stood behind her, frowning and soon watching the number on her gun change when she pulled the trigger and Yoohyeon’s body burst into a hundred purple butterflies before leaving the building. “That’s one.” She muttered as you both exited the school.
“Four to go.”
..
Reaching Yubin’s area, you were slightly confused to see the dark and empty halls. You knew Yubin as a quiet person, but you didn’t think that she would be stuck in a place so dark like this.
Your girlfriend tugged at your arm and then nodded to the open door up ahead, the only area with light pouring out of it and you both walked towards it, only to see a room filled with gold and a variety of treasures inside. And among those treasures, the younger girl could be seen perched upon the pile of gold coins.
“That was quick.” Her voice didn’t sound angry. In fact, it was like she was expecting you to come. Unlike Yoohyeon, she didn’t seem fazed as Minji lifted her gun and pointed it at her. “We’re not here to play games, Dami.” She tells her in an even tone and the younger girl nods. “I’m aware.”
Yubin glances at you and then back to your girlfriend before nodding her head. Minji takes that as a signal before she pulls the trigger and Yubin ends up just like Yoohyeon, leaving the room empty and the lights slowly fade away, leaving the two of you alone in the cold room.
The silence deafens you, but the sudden sound of Minji’s voice causes you to flinch. “They’ll be okay.” And you don’t know whether she was trying to tell you  or herself that fact by the way her voice shakes, but you stick by her and squeeze her in comfort before pressing a kiss to her temple. “They will, don’t worry.”
..
It felt like every time she used the gun, more of her own energy was fading along with her friends. By the time you enter the empty lot where Siyeon was kept in, you frowned when you saw the look of defeat all over her being.
She wasn’t being held down, but you knew deep down that there was something that forbade her from leaving this place. That was why you and Minji were here.
When she heard your footsteps, Siyeon took a short glance over her shoulder before she’s turning her eyes back to the televisions that were stacked over each other, nothing but static on the screens.
Unlike the first two, she doesn’t speak, and Minji struggles when she points the gun to her. Siyeon was dismissive and uncaring while she held the stuffed cat against herself and it shook your girlfriend inside how her friend couldn’t even look her in the eyes or tell her just what she was feeling.
Siyeon was always such a bright and happy soul, so to see her stripped of all that color made your heart clench at the sight as Minji let her shoulders slump before finally doing what she had to.
When you see the hardened look on your girlfriend’s face, you understand that this was taking a toll on her. She was forced in a position that she didn’t want to be in, but being the eldest among them, she knew what she had to do, even when it was hurting her.
So when you headed to the next location, the basement where you could hear the sound of chains rattling, you did your best to make your girlfriend feel better. Even though it wasn’t that far away, you tried to talk to her about the things you would do before this all happened and she cracked a smile when you were recounting the times that she had to scold you for playing tricks on her with her friends.
“I love you.”
She said, out of the blue and catching you off guard. Your eyes landed on her and she smiled while cupping your cheek and you returned the gesture before she’s placing a tender kiss to your forehead.
At least she managed a smile, just before you reached the area where you soon found Bora. When you saw the girl, your eyes went wide to see her chained up and her angry glare fell on the two of you as you approached, her scowl deepening when she stared at you.
“Of course, fearless Jiu comes to finish me off. Did you do the same to the others?” She snapped while fighting against her bonds, but they were too strong and too many for her to do so. She was bound there unless you did something about it.
“You know that this isn’t easy.” Minji said softly while the other scoffed before nodding to the gun in your girlfriend’s hand. “Shoot everyone and survive, right?” She snarled while giving another yank to the chains and you had to step forward just to stop her from possibly hurting herself, but the purple haired woman raised a hand to stop you.
Minji shot you a look and you eventually backed down as she pointed her gun to your friend. “I hope you understand why we had to do this.” She murmured softly and Bora grit her teeth, yelling as Minji finally shot her.
When you leave, it’s quiet. You walk beside your girlfriend with your head down due to the grave expression that she has after the encounter with her friend. Her anger saddened you, but she wasn’t able to understand just how severe the whole situation was.
In her anger, she spat things at Minji, knowing full well that it wasn’t really her fault. But in the mix of her emotions, she wasn’t able to think properly and threw her anger out on your girlfriend.
“Y/n, it’s okay. I’m fine.” Looking up, you could only see the back of your girlfriend’s head as you both walked. There was nothing you could do but to just finish what you started.
But you knew that the end of it all was the most difficult one. Gahyeon was the youngest and Minji treated her so much like a little sister, so you could only imagine how much this was going to be a problem for her. She was already torn with how her friends looked at her, anger and betrayal, you didn’t think you wanted to see how Gahyeon would react to Minji having to shoot her.
..
Seeing Gahyeon knocked the wind out of you because of how calm she appeared and even cracked a smile when she saw your faces. It was a complete contrast to all the other girls and you saw how Minji tensed just by seeing her.
“Unnie, where have you been?” The younger girl asked softly and Minji was willing herself not to cry when Gahyeon reached out to you both. Something in her expression shifted and you know that she’s aware of why you’re here.
But she still smiles, almost assuring the two of you when Minji shows her the gun. You can see in her eyes that she’s scared, but at the same time, she’s smiling at the two of you to lift whatever guilt was swimming inside your hearts as she whispers. “It’s okay.”
Minji’s hand shakes as she stares deeply into Gahyeon’s eyes. You could feel tears forming in your own eyes as you shut them tight to look away while Minji finally shot her, a tear running down her cheek as she lowered her arm, the gun dropping to her feet and you quickly pull her into your arms.
Her shoulders shake while you hold her tight, kissing her temple while reassuring her that she was done and that it was okay. “They’ll be okay, you don’t have to worry anymore.” You told her as she sobs against your chest while you try to soothe her.
Sitting on the hard ground, you keep her close to your heart until she eventually calms down and you kiss her head while caressing her cheek and wiping her tears away.
Reluctantly, Minji pulls away to look at you and her tears refuse to stop when she stares into your eyes and you keep trying to wipe them away. She reaches for the gun and shakes her head and you know right away what her intentions are.
“Ji… you don’t have to do this.” You whisper and she bites her lip. “I can’t let you stay stuck here.” She replies while holding the end of the gun to your chest, but you keep a firm hold on her until she pulls the trigger.
When nothing happens, she looks down to see the big zero staring back at her and she doesn’t understand what was going on. She should have had one more.
“I’m sorry.”
Her head snapped up to look at you and then she realizes what you’ve done. Her heart drops to her stomach while you point the gun in her direction. “The girls need you, Ji.” You murmur and she shakes her head frantically. “Y/n, no. It can’t be you.” She argues.
But you give her one last smile before taking in a deep breath. “It shouldn’t be you.”
Before she could stop you, you already pulled the trigger and everything goes black.
In the next few moments, each of the girls find themselves in an unfamiliar room. All six of them open their eyes and look around with wonder of finally being free from their prison, but when they see the large glowing crystal in front of them, a gasp tore through their lips while Minji quickly rose to her feet.
A fresh batch of tears came flowing from her eyes as she ran to the crystal, her fists pounding against the hard surface while she cried your name, pleading for you to wake up.
But as all of them gathered, they knew that there was no saving you.
In order to ensure their safety, you had to exchange your own life.
Your girlfriend struggled with having to see her friends go, but she didn’t think that she would be forced to see you torn away from her and she was left with nothing to do but bear the weight of your sacrifice.
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la5t-res0rt · 4 years
Note
Wanted to ask about beetlelyds, sorry, I thought it was technically cannon? Like in the old comics after the show ended she grew up and married him. Sorry I’m an old school fan and have no idea why this whole thing is such a big deal. Wasn’t the actor like 20 too? I’m sorry if I sound very dumb. I’m not used to this new tumblr.
youre fine you are one hundred percent allowed to especially when you do it civilly as you have done here
first of all the biggest issue faced in the whole what is and is not canon debate is the fact that there are three (four if you count the limited comics run) publicized iterations of my media
i will go over each very briefly just kidding this is going to a long answer so i will spare the dashboard with a readmore
there is the movie which im sure you dont need me to explain the plot since youre an old school fan but basically the climax is that yes beetlejuice does go for the marriage angle in exchange for stopping the exorcism of adam and barbara and his motive for this is so that he can cause as much chaos as he wants on the mortal coil but his plan is thwarted when barbara rides a sandworm into the house which promptly eats beetlejuice sending him to bureaucratic death limbo
the end of the movie features the deetz and the maitlands happily living together with lydia havign a new appreciation for her situation and beetlejuice gets his head made real small which is very funny haha 
so no in the movie they are not canon editors note the actress who played lydia winona ryder was a teenager while filming the movie she turned 17 the year it released 
the next is the cartoon which i will admit has the most grounds for being considered canon but in the end the show is about a middle schooler and her best friend who is a ghost which in itself is a pretty iffy gray area sort of thing but for a childrens cartoon to work a friendship is better than the obvious enemy status they held in the movie
anyway in the cartoon they are potrayed to be very close friends with lydia being the person beetlejuice cares about the most and honestly if you were to watch it with no prior knowledge of the media and if you ignored their massive and obvious age difference than yeah you probably would read it as a romantic relationship 
however lydia is a middle schooler and that is simply immoral
there have been writers for the cartoon who have been credited to say that a relationship is what they were trying to invoke but for obvious reasons they couldnt exactly move forward with that angle with them establishing that lydia is a child in middle school and a fully grown adult man dating a child who is in middle school is immoral and also illegal in the united states and in canada 
this isnt a good argument for whether or not something is canon and i will tell you why with one simple name and that is luke weber
if you dont know who luke weber is he was a storyboard artist on the cartoon steven universe he is known for making a lot of self ship artwork of him and the character pearl
he worked on the show isnt his material canon no of course it isnt it wasnt put in the actual publication and also if memory serves he was eventually asked to leave the project after he drew art of the shows creator giving him permission to date pearl and calling them her otp and a lot of fans hated this because the most generally accepted interpretation of pearls character is that she is sapphic so a lot of people took issue however that again is just a widely perceived headcanon it is never stated what her actual sexuality is no one in that show is because it isnt a show about that its about wait im getting off topic sorry
what im saying is what can truly be considered canon is what you see on the screen and with the cartoon they are definitely the most friendly with each other and that is why so many people in the beetlebabe shipping community take so much stock in the cartoon because it is the easiest to read the relationship between the mas romantic although that is not what the show actually provides in black and white terms
interpretation does not equal canon and in this case no matter what anyone says the fact remains that in the cartoon itself they are friends good friends yes but friends all the same
it is definitely not a show about a grown man grooming an adult and if it were you definitely shouldn’t be stanning it the extreme because grooming a minor is wrong and it is apparently a problem in the fandom
anyway if the cartoon and the movie are both products of their time and there was more leniency on content bear in mind this was the same era as notorious animation powerhouse and known predator john k who was a showrunner on ren and stimpy and he maintained a relationship with a teenager which was an open secret that nobody really took issue with because in that time being a woman in the animation industry was tricky business and your career could be ended easily if you rejected advances luckily time has moved forward and the animation industry although still full of problems of a similar nature at least people are getting called out and punished for it
you can look more into that yourself its really upsetting though
as for comics i havent been able to find good scans of them and im not willing to purchase them but in my search i never found anything about the two of them ever being married in the cartoon again because she is a child i did find a cover where he appears to be getting married and hes asking lydia to get him out of it but im not sure where the comic actually goes all i know is she is standing off to the side shrugging and looking like she doesnt really care
anyway that brings us to the musical which is set in the modern day 
in the original libretto lydia is described as thirteen but since they got an actress who was older in the updated librettos she is listed as 15 and the story is pretty similar to the movie the young girl befriends ghosts and they try to scare her family out etc etc
the major difference between the film and the musical are that lydia and beetlejuice are more like friends like in the cartoon 
she summons him to help scare after the maitlands attempt doesnt really work so he shows up and they have fun terrorizing people together however she drops him for the opportunity to perhaps get her mom back but when no one will help she goes back to beetlejuice who tricks her into almost exorcising barbara
she agrees to marry him in order to stop the exorcism and he only wants to get married so he can be alive again and cause problems on the mortal coil like in the movie in the musical he states several times its a green card thing whihc obviously doesnt make it okay but still
anyway lydia tricks him and runs off into the underworld before the wedding can happen blah blah blah she goes back blah blah and she agrees to go through with the wedding to save her friends and family with a plan to make him go away for good
theres a very tongue and cheek song called creepy old guy which points out how wrong the whole thing is but everyone is going along with it in a very comedic matter and it includes the line 
i cant believe some cultures think this kind of things alright
basically saying yeah this is very very wrong anyway they do get married and beeltjeuice is alive for like 6 seconds before lydia stabs him to death with bad art and he dies thus nullifying the marriage because death do you part etc
so in the musical no at the end of the show they are not canon because he is dead their marriage is nullified and they go their separate ways
anyway sorry about that i just need to make it very clear that these three properties are all very distinct from each other and basically all three are indeed canon since they are publicized material and arguing the validity of which one is pointless editors note all actresses who played with the exception of dana steingold were minors for the majority of their runs as lydia with sophia ann caruso the originator of the role turning 18 during the run and dana being in her late twenties presley ryan however was a minor the whole time and still is one
tldr no they aren’t canon but to the credit of some people in this fandom their interpretation isnt too far of a stretch thanks to the era and some of the writers wishing to imply a relationship between an adult and a child
i also need to address how this is all a big deal and i suggest you take a peak through my discourse tag and check out @leedia‘s blog to see some of the more harmful things done by beetlebabe shippers
the beetlejuice fandom is home to many minors after the musical came out since musical fandom is vast and the ages of its members varies and normalizing pedophilia is harmful to them not to mention the people who have been effected by sexual harassment at the hands of adults
both sides have victims of csa but one side continues to perpetuate the cycle by showing time and time again that this behavior is normal and easily romanticized in the name of coping and literally anyone who has ever been to a good and credible therapist could tell you that posting cp even if it is simulated cp isnt a really good way to cope and you can get mad at me for saying that its totally fine but and im going to remove my character veil here for just a second as a csa survivor myself i think its harmful to not only myself but many others ok the veil is back down
tldr again there is a lot of bullying and harassment going on with both sides having their own issues but there is one side whos issues run a bit deeper in my humble opinion 
thank you for your question it allowed me to talk a lot you are welcome to discuss further with me in dms if you wish i honestly recommend giving the musical a listen because it is very fun and despite what some people say its very clever and if you get a chance to see a boot of it its visually stunning
one last note that i couldnt really fit in here but a large portion of the beetlebabes shipping community ignore the musical because it openly condemns the idea of beeltejuice and lydia having a relationship and a lot of the antis take issue with much of the writing and characterizations of the cartoon just a note that i think is important since were talking about canon
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lemonmangosorbet · 3 years
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Hi there! I was searching up some reibert fic recs and saw a page on your old blog(?). I think it was deleted tho since I couldnt read the full post (where all the recs are ;-;). If it isn't too much trouble, could I maybe ask for you to put those recs up again? I do adore reibert but it's so hard finding good fics that actually feature the two as the main couple. Um, sorry if it's too much of a bother, you have your own reasons for deactivating so i totally get it if you wouldnt want to make those posts again for whatever reason. I just figured there wasnt any harm in asking. Thank you for your time regardless though! ^^
Aw, thank you for your ask anon! No one has asked me for Reibert fic recs in 84 years sdghkjf-
I’ll be honest, after I deleted my old blog in 2017, I sorta became disillusioned with Reibert fandom (apart from a handful of closest friends) and stopped reading Reibert fics altogether- so these recs are really old.... like 5 years old. There are some on there I’m not sure I would even recommend anymore lol
Luckily a lot of my fic rec posts were reblogged on the Reibert-hell blog- but I see what you mean. I made a post ‘Reibert fic recs Part 1′ but you could only read the recs under the ‘read more’, but as my old blog is gone, the rest of that post is missing, oops ;-;
You can still get the Fic Recs Part 2 post HERE
I also made a post for one particular fic ‘Shark Attack’ but as it has been years since I read it, I don’t know if the writer ever completed it
And then there’s also this post that has a couple more recs on it
There’s also the ‘fic’ tag on the Reibert-hell blog that you might be interested in!
I hope this helps! I do understand what you mean though- it’s hell going through the Reibert fic tag on AO3 because a lot of times writers will tag them in a fic where they are only a background pairing, so it’s hard to find fics where they are the main focus ;-;
I feel bad that I deleted my old AO3 account and all of my Reibert fics that were on there. And then I’ve never reuploaded them to my new account either OTL
If you’re ever feeling brave, you can DM me and I don’t mind emailing my long lost fics to you??? lmao
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Life After Snowpiercer: Whos Left?
Summary- 5.3k. Curtis x Y/N. Curtis takes Yona and Timmy towards the back of the train, finding unexpected survivors along the way. You are caught in a situation not so simple to escape from. Violence 
a/n- The scenes involving gun fire, I cant claim to know exactly how they work, seeing as Ive never dealt with them, so details might be sketchy. 
Chapter 5 / Masterlist
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The group followed you, but hell if you knew where you were going, more and more people came out of the cars scattered around, equally in as much shock as you. Somewhere someone was wailing uncontrollably, there was still who knows how many guards in the car you all left, and right now the mix of people looking at You, of all people to tell them what to do. It was just overwhelming. Almost to much. You could feel your breathing rush in hurried huffs, and your senses starting to swarm.
Babygirl Breathe. 
Curtis Its to much. 
Think, you need to get them out of the cold first, Shelter. Pick the best car. 
Okay....
“Alright everyone were not gonna last out here, and its gonna be dark soon.” Shadows were starting to stretch around you all, and the sky above you all was going from a bright blue hue to purplish and bits of stars were scattering around. When you looked up, it was still like out of a dream. When did you last gaze at stars? “Is there any car anyone knows of that might have food, blankets... anything?” 
Everyone looked among one another, when someone you were least suspecting to see stepped forward, Paul, who had been taken from the tail end years ago cleared his throat. “That one on the end, its full of protein bars, the machinery is all broke, but that one and the one behind are still connected together when I came out, and it was abandoned before Curtis came through. Plenty of room for all of us.” You nod in agreement, and sure everyone stayed together, you all moved as a group. Falling back to where Paul brought up the rear, you walked beside him, silent for a bit. 
“Paul... have you been in that car this whole time?” You did the math, it was five or six cars up if the old maps in Gilliams place were correct. 
“Yea, it wasnt a bad gig” The man shrugged his shoulder. “Lonely, but I still got to see people a few times a day. They came to collect the bars, hand me the red letters.” 
Your brows come together, the ones Curtis depended on. “Red letters, the ones giving us clues on how to break out?” 
“Oh I dont know what they said, I was just told to place them in random bars and make sure they went out to the tail end.” Paul just stated as if it was common knowledge.
Fucking hell, this whole time it was a set up. The thought occurred to you, the weight of it was so heavy in your chest, you held back a sob. All those hours Curtis planned around the information sent. All of it just a set up. Why? 
“How was Curtis when he went through?” Was he okay? How long ago was this? Must have been a couple days ago at least. 
“He was fine Y/N, shocked to see me, and and pissed about the red letters, but hey, I do what Im told. Okay, this should be the one.” He broke away from you, and climbed up to the door, ducking inside. You glance over your shoulder, and your old car is barely in view, and you could see a few men standing near it, but unable to really tell if it the armed guards. Hopefully they are unable to get there shit together and try anything. Luckily you and the kids had a good amount of weapons collected before you bolted to the outside. 
Paul called from inside “Y’all can come on in.” Sara limped up next to you, pressing a red rag to her shoulder, looking up. “I’m gonna need help this time” You nod and lope an arm around her waist, feeling her weight lean into you. “I got you this time Sara, were in this together.” The woman flashed you a grateful smile, and together you two wait for the crowd to disperse inside. Once it was just the two of you, you climb up first and reach back, taking her good arm, and as quickly as you were able, you help her up into the doorway, and together you two enter. 
It was dim, but nothing like the tail end darkness, so your sight adjusts quickly, already people are huddling together, passing along protein bars, and mostly its quiet except for the occasional hushed whispers. The person wailing endlessly had since stopped in one of the many cars you all passed. Exhaustion and Shock kept you from searching them out. You should, guilt eats at you. But you turn away from the door for now, checking over the people instead. So far all the kids, including a few from the other cars all seemed fine. You knew Sara was bad off, and you found a few others with lacerations, bad bruises and concussions, and at least two who had a shoulder thrown out of joint. But the reports of those that couldn’t be helped was outstanding. 
The one thing you were relieved to find was that no one seemed to be fighting. It was a mix of all sorts of factions, there were at least ten cars that dropped, and it ranged from you tail enders, a few from the prison section from what you could tell by there clothing, and a few “lower class” carts that were still much better off then you all were. But now everyone simply were together, there was no breaking of class. Hopefully it would just stay that way. All in all, there were about 30 of you crammed in as tight as possible to stay warm. 
You moved back to the entrance and set on the edge, with the gun you had brought with you, keeping an eye on the landscape. Watching for any others to follow there trail, friend or foe. You roll up the collar of your coat you were wearing. It wasnt keeping you very warm, but better then nothing. Your eyes half closed hours later, and nodding off.
It was so damn cold... 
I know it is baby, you should close your eyes. 
Liar, thats just my mind playing tricks. 
All you could hear was his agreeing laughter, yea you couldnt sleep.
“Miss?” A warm hand came to your face, the back of it touching your wind burned ruddy cheeks, making you gasp in surprise and jump slightly. 
“Wh-at? Oh sorry... I must have nodded off.” 
The man smiled, settling down in the doorway across from you, his jacket was slightly heavier, but still clouds of breath escaped him to glide into the night. “Its okay, you should let me take over for a while? I know we dont know each other, but its not on just you to watch. I can help any more that might arrive inside.” 
You eye him, and he had warm eyes from what you can tell, god you wish you knew if you could trust him. “Im not just looking for more survivors. Our tail end was being held under guard. When we left, it was escaping them as well. Not many survived, but enough.” 
“Yes, we saw the guards come through after the revolution passed through.” Another sign of Curtis, further up from Pauls car. You couldn’t help but smile hearing about him, fuck you missed him terribly. You hid your smile in your coat, finally it passed and you turned back to the man. “He is a stubborn man when he wants something. And he wanted us out of the tail end.” 
“That he does, we had no cause to stand in there way, he passed us peacefully. Some of out people actually joined his cause. Its not as bad as your car, but we are tired of the imprisonment as well. My name is John by the way.” He held his hand out, and you unfolded yours from your sleeve, shaking his and gave your name as well. You werent going to give up your post, and he relaxed on the opposite side, apparently not willing to leave. You two were quiet for a time, when piercing through the night was the worst sound youve heard in a while. It kareened from the top of the cliff, a scream that echoed around the valley you were all stuck in. 
It made you jump up, leaning out of the doorway to look up. And John did the same, cussing softly “Fuck what was that?” You shook your head. 
“Nothing good.... “
 During the time You were settling the survivors in the car, Curtis paused panting, it had long since grown dark out, following the light of the stars above them, it made the snow glow silver, stretching out in front of them. The train didn’t seem this long when he was fighting his way through the cars. Of course then it was adrenaline fueling him on. This time it was exhaustion. “Timmy, lets take a break buddy.” The boy on his back tightened his arms around Curtis neck, not wanting to let go, muttering sleepily in against his neck. “Okay... just swing around man.” Curtis coached him, and soon he had the boy slid around to his chest, stepping over to stand next to Yona, who was already curled up against the side of the train to get out of the wind. She needed more clothes, better clothes, fuck. 
“Yona, take Timmy... “ Curtis pried the boys arms from around his neck, and she sleepily reached up to take the kid, drawing him into her. Curtis shrugged out of his jacket and draped it over them. Looking into the dark car they were huddling against, maybe there was some blankets in there. He heard rustling inside, but nothing more. Grabbing an outside bar, he pulled himself into the entrance to look inside He couldn’t make out anyone in the shadows, but that meant nothing. “I’m coming in, I don’t want any trouble.” 
Hearing nothing more, he slid inside, it didnt look like he was going to have much luck. Nothing but bodies scattered around, and axes, the smell of blood, dried blood prominent. Shit, this was the car from the bridge. Thats when he saw that the tied prisoners he had left behind were killed to, deep ax cuts to there neck, squatting near one, he studied the man, drawing his own conclusions. They must have finished off the rest after he left. Breathing in deeply and rubbing a hand against his face. They had the right to after all the torture they had endured over the years, but part of him was still disappointed in the death. So much fucken death. 
At least it was quicker then starving and shit, he thought. 
Its still wrong Curtis, they were unarmed at this point. 
Yea I know, but can you blame them. We were unarmed and starving in the tail end and they never gave a shit. 
A touch of your hand and sigh, you just were so damn tired in his mind. 
“Curtis?” a voice from the other end mentioned, and he pushed to a stand, brows furrowed at the noise, he swore he heard his name. “Hello?” 
“Curtis! back here!” It was louder, more urgent. He recognized that voice, Tam from the back, she had come up behind them once the fighting was done, helping the injured. Curtis made his way over the scattered bodies and debris scattered around, and what did he find, fuck he found a small group of his people, helping one another up, and others laying out side by side, ones that had injuries, preventing them from moving to much. Tam moved to grasp Curtis pulling him into an affectionate hug “Damn are we glad to see you! We lost most everyone Curtis, were all thats left. They came back through and pinned us down, claimed 74 percent of us were to be killed.” The tears streamed down her face freely, as she released him and pulled back. “they were about to march us back when the train, I’m guessing went off the track? It caught them unaware enough we were able to fight back. There wasn’t many.... but we just didn’t know what to do, what was ahead, if you, Tonya, Nam... the rest were still alive?” 
Curtis shook his head, swallowing down the sorrow. “No, they didn’t make it. Its just me, Yona, and I was able to get Timmy back. Not Andy, I never saw him.” 
Tams head hung for the loss of there friends, and Curtis turned his attention back to the door. “I got to go get Yona and Timmy, now that I know its you all, we we will stay here. Tomorrow those that can, we are going to see about whats left of the tail end. I was told they went over a cliff... but I have to know.” 
Tam nodded, as well as a few others that came to join in the conversation, Curtis questioned. “No ones seen Y/N, have they?” Maybe you didn’t listen, he could hope.
“No, she stayed in the back with the kids.... just like you told her she had to.” They had all seen you drag her back into Gilliams quarters just before it all started. Curtis sighed to himself, not his finest moment thinking back on it. It tore him to think now how you two left things. How you might not be.... 
STOP IT! You cant think that way. 
I shouldn’t have done that babygirl, left you in anger. 
No WE shouldn’t, we will fix this, go get the kids now. 
Turning away from the group, he made his way back, and looking out the door, he saw his two charges still under his jacket, hiding away. “Timmy, Yona, lets get inside, its safe.” Yona first poked her head out from there little hideaway, and pushed Timmy into a stand, the two of them making there way to the entrance. Reaching down, Curtis grasped Timmys arm and hauled him up the side, pulling him in “Go all the way to the back, Tam and them are up there.” The boy nodded and started to head towards the back, Curtis leaned down and took a wrapped Yoda by the arm, and she was slightly heavier, grunting with the effort and pain lacing his ribs as she scrambled best she could up the side, landing with a oof when she fell in. “Sorry Yona” He apologized while she brushed herself off and made to take off his coat to return it. “ no you hang onto it for now. I will take it back tomorrow morning. Maybe they have something back there you can use before we head out.”
“But your gonna freeze Curtis” Her head tilted, studying him. He dismissed it with a shake of his head and together they headed back to the group. Tam was kneeling next to Timmy, cupping his face and studying some of the bruises on his face. The boy was starting to come out of the trance state Curtis first found him in, talking more. He had yet to ask about his mother, and Curtis figured right now it would be to much to have that discussion, Not yet anyways. If he wasn’t asking, Curtis was content to let it just stay silent till they were all in a better place. 
“Our wounded, how bad are they?” Curtis asked another as he headed over to see whom was over there, it wasn’t your, or the it was Our, they were a group again, looking out for one another best they could. There looked like five or six, some perfectly silent, another one was groaning in his sleep. Tam came over, her arms folded around her “Bad, I don’t know if they will all make it. What I wouldn’t give for Y/N to be here, at least we would have some direction in what to do” Curtis clenched his jaw hearing this. 
Fuck I wish you were here to baby. He sighed inwardly, what he wouldn’t give to hear you tell him it would be okay. 
“The one i’m most worried about is Edgar, the wound is deep, and it took a while for the wound to clot. I mean hes conscious...” 
“Wait! Edgars alive?!” Curtis scanned over the covered people again, looking for anyone familiar. 
“Yea, hes that one up at the end, wait... you didn’t know Curtis?” Tam followed along behind and Curtis made his way over, and sure enough, Edgar was fast asleep, pale as hell, but damn it the kid was alive. “No, we left in such a hurry after the bridge...” He rushed his words to Tam, just in shock. Curtis collapsed to his knees next to him, relief just washing over him. “Fuck man its good to see you” He whispered, and beside him Edgar groaned and opened his eyes. 
“Yea man, its good to see you to.”
What happened hung in the air, but left unsaid for now, Curtis knew he had yet another apology to make, another mistake. Edgar went to sit up and Tam immediately put a stop to that. 
“You lay your ass back down Edgar. You lost to much blood to be moving around any, and that wound reopens, no telling if we can get it to stop.” With a roll of his eyes he fell back to lay still. Curtis looked questioning up at Tam.
“The knife missed the spine and vitals, but its deep enough to leave a gaping hole. It needs to be sewed up, or cauterized. But we just don’t have the materials.” Edgar raised enough to lean on his elbow. 
“Well someone should go looking for that shite, right?” Curtis was relieved to hear that accent of his once more, never thought he would hear it again. “I cant be laying up here the whole damn time.” 
It occurred to Curtis that maybe they could do one. “Yona... Yona, has my jacket. Nam gave me a smoke just before, theres some matches in the pocket.” Tam hurried over to where Yona was sleeping, searching in the pockets of his jacket. Rewarded when she pulled out the old half disintegrated book of matches, and miraculously they were still dry. Curtis started looking around for things to burn, searching the deads pockets for anything flammable. Finally having an plan in place, meant he could at least fix part of something. 
Having enough materials gathered, Curtis collected one of the Axes, cleaning off the dried blood caking the edge. He hoped the fire would burn off any other debris to keep from infecting Edgar. Tam worked on getting the fire hot, and Edgar laid on his stomach, watching the flames. Curtis eyes would glance up once in a while to catch his expression. Clouded, unsure if it was from pain, or remembering how Curtis how turned away when Masons men had the knife to his throat. Curtis couldn’t forget it, He shouldn’t have left him. 
“Edgar I---” 
“Stop man, were not doing this. Not now, not ever.” Edgar glared at him to shut him up, and Curtis closed his mouth, running the rag once more over the blades edge, there was a tiny spot, he swore he could see it although the axe gleamed spotless. 
Moments later, Tam blew lightly on the fire, and it went from hot reddish orange to white hot laces of blue. “I think this is as hot as were gonna get it Curtis, put the blade in.” She sat back, and rested her hands on her knee. “Edgar, your ready for this?”
“As ready as I’m gonna be” He winced a bit and settled in. Giving the axe time to heat, the trio remained silent, all till there was a slight smolder rising from the head pushed in the coals. “Bite on this” Tam informed, holding out a cloth. Reluctantly, cause damn this was gonna hurt like a bitch, Edgar wedged it in his mouth, nodding. 
Curtis moved to hes shoulders, his uninjured arm pressing on either side of his shoulder blades. Putting his weight behind it, he was sure Edgar would thrash, and it was vital to keep him as still as possible. He felt the man drawing in deep breaths and surprisingly he seemed relaxed under his hold, calm. Tam moved in close to Edgars side, lifting the handle of the ax and drawing it out of the fire. They had seconds to sear it shut, having the metal hot enough to scar him closed. Curtis gave a curt, ‘Im ready’ nod, and Tam laid the broad side of the axe right over the wound. 
It was a hiss at first, the scent of burning flesh rising almost immediately, and Edgar tensed rigidly, trying to push away and the noise. The noise was probably the hardest part to deal with. Not the smell, not feeling Edgar try to escape pain. It rose so sharply, that Edgar lost what he was biting on, and it just seemed magnified from where they were in the hollowed car. Curtis almost lost his hold on him, having to dig in his heel and lean fully into him. “Come on Edgar, its gonna be okay, were almost done” 
His words had no meaning, and finally after a bit, Edgar just collapsed under him, Tam yanked the axe away, and Curtis broke into a sob, dropping his forehead to lean against the passed out Edgars head. “Fuck, I’m so sorry... “ his voice dragged out. Edgar was like his brother, this on top of everything else just fuck was tearing him. After a few moments to calm himself down, Curtis leaned over to check that he was breathing fine. Thank fuck he passed out, Curtis could hear your worry edging your voice. The wound, make sure its sealed Curtis.... 
His hand slid down Edgars back, and deep redness had settled in, around the cut it was black, a few shallow boils forming, but all in all, the hole was shut. “I think we got it Tam” He said as released his hold on Edgar and Tam as careful as could be dragged the blanket up to where the wound was still red hot, not daring to put anything on it. 
“What do you wanna do next Curtis?” Tam moved over to sit next to him, drawing her legs up and staring into the fire that was loosing its drive to burn, having scored most of the material into ash at this point. Curtis nudged some of it with his boot, shifting the coals. Already he was falling into that leader roll, he could sense others were listening into there conversation, waiting to see what he would say. 
I wonder how they would feel if they knew I caused the train to derail. 
No different babes, now were not prisoners anymore, were actually free to make our own choices for our future. 
“Going to check on the end cars like my original plan was. There is probably survivors and we have to check on our people, if they survived, there might be some that need help with injuries. Then back towards the front, theres food up there, the cars up there are in better shape.”
“What about the front enders?” Tam questioned, and Curtis looked at her with a shrug.
“They either accept us, or we will push them out. Thats been the goal this whole time, and I’m not stopping now.” So matter of fact, Tam went silent, and together they waited till morning to come seeping in, a new day, a new way of life. 
You were watching the beginning of your first sunrise, and you couldn’t help the tears that yet again got caught in your lashes. There are different kinds, and in the past few days you shed them all. Grief, pain, fear... but these felt different, rewarding. There salty drops fell on your lips and a flick of the tongue collected them before you brushed them away. John stretched and with a pop of his arms over his head, he moved to a stand. “I’ve seen many of these over the years... “ You look up in surprise, then consider, well maybe his section had windows. “... But this is the best damn sunset i’ve seen.” 
“Its the first one I’ve seen in seventeen years” You remarked, blinking against the light bouncing off the ice and snow. “And I have to say its more beautiful then I remember it being.” 
I wish you could see this Handsome, a wistful tone in your thoughts. 
I am baby, almost the best thing I’ve ever seen.... almost. 
Love you to Curtis. 
While you were admiring the arrival of light, a flash out of the corner of your eye catches your attention, and you tilt your head to the side to see what it was. Mistake.... as you found out when a sharp whizz blew over your head and bounced off the metal with a loud ping and sparks flew, both you and John tumbling back with wide eyed gasps. “What the fuck!” he exclaimed and you scramble low to rest the weapon you stole from them the day before out the entrance of the car. 
“Remember how I told you we were being held under guard? Well... I might have stabbed one in the eye just before the train derailed. They want us back for other things as well.” 
“Do you even know how to use that Y/N?” John asked as he to ducked out of line of sight, staying further hidden then you. 
“No, but I can give an educated guess. How about you see if there is someone back there who does?” You use the scope to look, they were still a distance off, and with luck John would be back sooner with someone who knew how to use one of these thing. So far nothing more has been fired, since you no longer made yourself a target, but you tried to study them, count how many there were. So far give made up the line, but who knows, some might be on the other side of the train, holding back... You scanned away from the edge, across the landscape, but that didn’t hold anything worth noticing. Maybe, just maybe there were only five left. Five fully trained to use there weapons men. FUCK. 
“Hey, found someone!” John exclaimed and a petite woman slid up beside you, glancing over the edge. “These bastards wanna play fire with fire? Lets give them some back.” Well damn, you hand it over immediately as she made herself comfortable. “Johanna by the way, nice to meet you Y/N” she caught you by surprise knowing your name, and she smirked. “Hey I was a few car up from John, weve all heard of you tail enders and your revolution. About fucken time.” She peered into the scope and flipped off the safety. Seeming to take measure of where she was aiming, Johnana proved patient. John had long sense disappeared back among the group to gather more bullets, hopefully they had enough to keep this new threat back.
It was so sudden, her finger was resting on the trigger, and then a couple shots went off, she barely flinched at the moment, but you cringed with them both. A curse muttered from her lips as she pulled back “They are sticking pretty close to the train, hard to get a shot off at this side angle, but they are now at least aware were not defenseless.” 
Curtis shook his head at Yona, who stood defiant before him, her arms crossed over her chest and head tilted to the side. “Your not going, thats that. Stay here and help look after the others.” 
“That is foolish, I can help.” She pushed, trying her hardest to convince him. “My dad... he might be out there.” A softer tone making her look down, trying to also convince herself that maybe, just maybe he survived. Curtis squatted down closer to her level, his hands cupping her face to make her look at him. 
“Yona, I swear if hes alive, I will bring him back, okay? After everything he did for us, you have my word. I really need you here, Timmy trusts you more then these others, and Edgar needs to be taken cared of. Please, can you do this for me?” 
This seemed ot appease the young woman, who gave a nod relenting and once they both agreed to these terms, she went to Edgars side, kneeling beside him and touching his forehead. The man was still asleep, and Curtis hoped it wasnt a sign of any kind of fever, although Tam remained nearby constantly hovering. His back was still an angry red, but it wasn’t as intense feeling of heat rolling from the wound, so that was something. 
Gathering others to join him, they all worked there way out of the train. Mostly they had axes shared among them, there were a few discarded rifles from the earlier battle at the bridge, in which Curtis himself collected one, slinging it around to hang off his back. They went in a single file, the few of them that joined, and every car they came to, they checked for survivors. After the brutal cold night, they weren’t successful in find any stragglers. Before they even got to the cliffs edge, a noise was brought to them. Sounds like... gunshots. The whole group looked at one another and sped up, pushing through the snow as fast as they could break through it. Once they reached the cliff, they looked down to see what the hell was going on. 
The cars below were scattered around, some on there sides, some had still somehow remained upright, but it was a mess, there old car, the tail end was on its side, dented and half split at the seam. It must have hit the hardest the way it was bounced away from the others, sure its momentum had dragged the rest down with it.. From what Curtis could see, the survivors were pinned in one car, the one that seemed to still be upright, by the cliff face. Those outside of the car, Wilfords men, the ones Wilford issued the kill orders to. Shots were exchanged with from a group of men pressing along another car for coverage. But a scan of showed others coming up the backside. Shit... He was sure none of them had any idea there was more then what those that was shooting at them. 
Curtis swung the weapon he carried around, and took aim best he could. There was no telling at this distance and his general inexperience if he was close to any of the targets, the couple others that also had the same advantage took up sentry on each side of him. Picking a target, Curtis took a breath and steadied himself till his sight wasn’t shaking. A breath out, and he pulled that trigger. The resounding BOOM flooded the valley, snow spitting up feet from the man. He missed but the guy stumbled back and raced around the corner of the car. Curtis other companions also fired at around the same time. And one aimed just so, the guard falling back with a burst of red scattering across the snow. Direct kill shot. 
Surprised at now being shot above, the rest scrambled away, heading away from the cliff face and using the demolished cars for cover, they soon were out of sight for the time being. Curtis swung the rifle in a sweeping motion, checking before going to the pinned car, and studying it for movement. 
Thats when he caught a glimpse. It was not even a second, and Curtis could only guess that it was actually You, but it was enough for his chest to tighten painfully, and all those other things just narrow into one single thought. 
YOU WERE ALIVE. 
@curtisbbq @what-is-your-plan-today @p8tn0lish @jeremyrennerfanxxxx123
@jtargaryen18 @thatweirdwalangpake @official-and-unstable-satan​
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love-and-anarchy-au · 4 years
Text
Love & Anarchy: Chapter 5
goodmorning my lovesss!! this week will be heavy as I will post 3 chapters xd. In the weekend I had an anxiety attack so to calm myself a little bit down, I wrote three chapters; that’s what you’ll get this week. this chapter in particular made me suffer A LOT as i couldnt find the words i needed and i felt like i didnt  convey the pain that this chapter should make you feelxd. this is the final result, hope you like (suffer with) this chapter! <3
REMEMBER THIS AU HAPPENS IN THE SAME UNIVERSE THAT THIS ONE
Find out what this AU is about here
Masterlist
Tag list: @healing-winston-pratt @dawniebb @obsidianfr3sk @nodrianbcyes @everyone-has-a-nightmare @magykaldealings
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 Words:
 5,366
 Part 1: A boy named Alec Artino
 4 years old Alec
    Noise. Fear.
    Light, light, light.
    Control.
    “Mamma?”
    Stella sighed and turned around.
    It was three in the morning and Alec had had a nightmare. It had been a pretty real nightmare, to be honest, and that was the scariest thing. His father came back from town and slammed him against the wall, all because he was a filthy prodigy. Alec waited for his powers to activate, those powers that Julieta had told him were asleep, but they didn’t show up. He screamed and screamed, pleaded and pleaded, but nothing, and no one, paid any attention to him.
    He was alone.
    Alone, alone, alone.
    “What are you doing, mamma?” Alec whispered, his heart in his throat. His mother had a large leather handbag, worn leather loafers in hand so as not to make noise, and she was covered in clothes, even though it was the middle of summer. Clearly, she didn't want anyone to see nor hear her.
    “Oh, Alec…” she sighed and knelt to hug her son, without letting go of her heavy luggage. Alec felt his mother's tears fall into his threadbare pajamas, the cloth getting wet, the eyes getting glassy, Alec starting to understand why his mother was crying and carrying that way-to-heavy luggage.
    Alec began to cry when he realized what was happening; it was like the beatings his father gave him, unexpected but obvious, painful and painless, black and white in his swollen eyes. His lips trembled, as if an Antarctic breeze had kissed them.
    “Why, mamma? Was I a bad son? What did I do wrong? Mamma, mamma, please don't go,” Alec begged, clinging to his mother as if his life belonged to it. Stella still broke free of Alec, being careful not to hurt him, even though the damage was being done; it was like saying "sorry" while stabbing someone in the heart. What was worth was not the words, but the actions.
    “It's not you, Alec il mio amore,” his mother murmured. She looked her youngest son in the eye and confessed what he already knew: “It's him.”
    Papà.
    “He'll kill me if he discovers what I am,” her mother said, scared and her voice cracking like a wall in an earthquake. “I cannot stay.”
    Alec sobbed. He had to convince her to stay, she couldn't leave him with his father, she couldn't, she couldn't ...
    “Papà does not have to know who you are, he will never realize …”
    Stella looked Alec in the eyes, full of compassion, trying to soften the invisible slaps she was hurting him with, only with her image ready to flee from that hovel, from that life, from that family.
    “He'll find out, eventually. I can't take the risk.”
    Alec wiped his snot with the sleeve of his pajamas, not caring that their pajamas were washed once a month and it was the only pair he had; anyways, who would wash his pajamas if his mother was not there?
    Julieta will, whispered a voice.
    Julieta isn’t my mother, answered Alec to that voice, his own voice.
    “Mamma, please …”
    His mother stood up, ignoring her youngest son, and took the keys from the table, without causing the slightest noise, not even a tingle. Alec did not move from where he was (he could not, he was paralyzed, somehow) and contemplated the tragic scene of his abandonment. Silence, the absence of the present, the presence of the absent, a whirlwind in his soul, an impenetrable stillness around him.
    That was abandonment. Internal noise and external silence; nothing more and nothing less.
    Before leaving, his mother looked him in the eyes, one more time, one last time, and said, with all her soul bent on pronouncing those words, the last ones she would ever say to her youngest son:
    “You are destined for greatness, Alec darling. Ti amo.”
    And just like that, she left, closing the door carefully, not even making a slight noise, although for Alec it would have been better if she slammed the door, it would have hurt less than the silence in which he was drowning. He needed to get her back.
    Alec finally bolted to the door and opened it. There was no one in sight, the street was an urban desert, like his soul at the time.
    “MAMMA!” he called her, in a desperate cry, like someone who longs for a drop of water after crossing a burning wasteland.
    His mother had abandoned him. His mother had abandoned them.
    Alec screamed once more and over and over again; a mask of tears came out of his black eyes while his soul shattered once and for all.
    And it was that crack inside him that lit a spark, a spark unlike any other. Heady heat engulfed his body, completely changing him and not altering him at all, at the same time. That feeling, that sensation, was what Alec felt when he played with wet sand: the world moldable to his hands, to his wishes.
    But that feeling was no stronger than the excruciating pain that gnawed at him like cancer.
    His house shook at his second screech, longer than the last.
    “Mamma! Mamma! MAMMA!” Alec begged/screamed/yearned for. The walls around him continued to shake, under an internal earthquake made by little Alec Artino.
    Julieta came out of her room into the hallway and ran out to see Alec. She hugged him against her old nightgown.
    “Mamma ... mamma …” Alec cried.
    Julieta understood who he was referring to, so she hugged him tighter.
    No more words were needed to describe the tragedy.
    They were alone.
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macklives · 4 years
Text
hey so this is gonna be a long-ish one. ive decided its been far too long since i did a session, and we did so many i can often forget what happened. i started in july and im pretty sure its been more than half a year now since this whole blog happened. and in that time, we’ve gone through 88 sessions and i want to know if i remember the relevant plot points and what we got up to in the last few sessions. a refresh/reminder if you would.
so i hereby commence my own little recap of act 5 because yeah no, its too much to do a recap of everything and i have andrew for that after every few acts. but i wanna refresh my mind on act 5 for now. so here we go.
1. alternia.. fucked up place. but its a place the trolls live on so what are we gonna do about it? overthrow the government? seems about right, lets do that with the next troll that gets introduced and if its not kanaya idk what andrew is doing by not having introduced the best troll yet. why the long wait? it was the second introduced? i honestly expected it to go in order when i first read act 5, because first we had karkat talk to jade which was the first new piece dialogue in the comic besides the main kids, but then we had kanaya with rose, which was followed by tavros, then terezi (iirc). so id assume we were following that order but nope karkat got fully introduced, then this random fucking juggalo called gamzee made its way into the comic. imagine my surprise.
2. theres been terminology throughout act 5, that i do not fucking know and will not remember and probably never will. like tf is a perigee again? i made a doc somewhere ill probably find it.
3. karkat’s introduction... short but very sweet. and by sweet i mean we got to know the depths of the angry edge lord. and by depths i mean karkat got angry at gamzee for typing in a way that he didnt like so he yapped like a chihuahua. nah, but seriously, i do like karkat tho, hes growing on me but only bc hes a bitch baby and his whole personality makes me want to mock him so thats the reason im not that annoyed and think hes funny, and the most harmless troll. even more so than tavros. and thats saying something. 7.5/10 bc im generous.
4. then gamzee... the high juggalo troll who has the worst typing quirk imo, i cannot for the life of me read it. but hes chill, i actually really like gamzee. hes funny and the least problematic as of right now. 8.5/10.
5. terezi’s introduction next i think. she likes playing as a lawyer with her stuffed dragons, ie by roleplay, shes blind, can see through licking, and she likes eating chalk, maybe its even nutritious. shes good. 9/10. 
6. uhh in the process of these intros, there are teams being made? karkat joins gamzee and terezi in, i THINK, the red team?? bc terezi likes red?? could be wrong, i dont remember the teams except that its red/blue to represent sollux’s duality in those colors. terezi then tries recruiting AC but AC is like lol sorry i have to ask this friend of mine who has authority over me for some goddamn reason and terezi goes yuck tf i hate that guy................... yeah thats all we have on the teams. pretty sure sollux had smth to do with karkat about the making of the leaders, and they did the “i hate me” and the “no i hate me more than u hate u” or whatever the fuck that was. they got embarrassed afterwards and deleted their messages. im pretty sure they have no messages because everything ends up being mutually deleted so their logs are actually empty. ngl, kinda enjoyed their convos, made me appreciate their characters. i hope we get more because its good content. i also dont know what order this whole thing is in, who contacted who first? couldnt tell you. ill remember later on. and since im basing this off from memory alone, gotta deal with what i remember. uhhhh so yeah. we havent met all characters yet so the teams have not been officially decided but we got the bases, which is that.
7. god i found it, and the only thing im looking at right now is the terminology list i made and what the fuck?? what the fuck?? you miss a few weeks and suddenly the word nubslurping comes up and you forget what the fuck youre reading.
8. im PRETTY SURE aradia is seen after that whole team fiasco?? or its sollux... maybe. wait. its sollux, right. i just knew someone gets introduced mid way through is all. actually, someone gets introduced after every 20 pages. i have no idea. but ik aradia and sollux go hand in hand.
9. oh shit. OH SHIT! RIGHT! I REMEMBER! so this occurs in the latest session i did, and not the beginning of act 5, but AG and aradia team up, right?? and sollux fucking gets manipulated by them and ??? idk??? they make him find the game, reprogram it and then make him believe its going to end the world (which in hindsight is true, but anyways) so he refuses to play it which was AG’s plan all along so she steps up and becomes leader in his place. but aradia says sollux will still play the game no matter what, but she never went through with the plan for AG but it was apart of a prophecy? that sollux wouldnt be the leader at all? that he’d still play? but it had to go according to plan so it could succeed??? we just dont know why yet. anyways, point being, she still cares for sollux since she did it for him rather than for AG. and thats what i recall. god tf i forgot about that whole drama until writing down “sollux and aradia go hand in hand” which gave me violent flashbacks to the memory.
10. oh and id give aradia 9/10 and sollux 7/10. i do like sollux but if i put him higher than karkat, id get crucified. so im keeping them around the same.
11. man i really like sollux and aradia tho, i may have put him at 7, but i really like their dynamic and i really hope they make up and aradia explains herself about AG. because from one side it looks shitty. and while sollux is rude and never makes up his mind, he apologized to aradia after going off, and that was the only time ive seen him be sincere, so im pretty sure he cares for her to some extent. and i think its somewhat mutual? considering the whole “did it for him” thing. man, i see potential because i actually like both their characters. theyre well written. may not have the best personalities, but i appreciate well written characters and homestuck has the best ones ive seen in a while.
12. oh shit, hell yeah, the more i write, the more im connecting the dots and remembering. however, the more i write, the more i want to just make an analogy post but thats not for now. jesus christ its not all about analogies, mack, this is a recap. but.. how does andrew do it? to not go off track??? hard. telling ya.
13. anyways, didnt we break the fourth wall at some point and have the demon gods or whatever the fuck speak to us in third person for the first time in the comic, after having only gone into second person narrative, right after we were introduced to sollux and his “virus”? the uh, the phrase “the demon was already here” was said, or something along those lines. first line in homestuck to give me the creeps ngl and i appreciate it bc it gives me motivation to know what the fuck its about. its cool bc you have no idea where its going and it sure doesnt have anything to do with the current plot, since the trolls’ session/game doesnt have fucking demons so im curious as to what the fuck that was about. and if i really have to make a theory, i feel it has something to do with aradia’s voices in her head which also connect to the gods rose heard when she started disregarding rules and told dave to look at derse without listening to music bc it was as if he was purposely blocking away their calls. like holy shit, that gave me the shivers. while i do want to know more about wtf happens after act 4, trolls are taking priority right now. just like we did with the intermission. no discussing the kids unless necessary. treat this as its own separate comic. and THEN we can connect.
14. ANYWAYS, tavros’ intro???? that comes afterwards?? with the fiduspawn that made me gag a little on the inside? yep. remember that. fuck that lol. -1/10 but tavros himself is MAYBE a 6/10? i wish we explored his character more in his intro bc right now he just looks like a character made only to be a victim rather than have any depth and i feel thats robbing someone of their full potential. give me more personality andrew, rather than a quivering boy who falls prey to bitches. im expecting more throughout the comic honestly and i hope he gets growth so hes not looked as a “victim” but rather his own character. he is still sweet, and i like him because i want to protect him, but id rather have more info, you know what i mean?
15. oh hell. kanaya had a chainsaw at some point. that made me happy. and didnt she cut off tavros’ legs?? and he got robot ones? and some creepy dude was looking and we called him saggy tits bc hes sagittarius? right? neat. that did happen. pretty sure saggy tits is ACs friend that tells her what to do. the more u know. OH and they all have colored blood similar to their text colors lol. that i remember... so tavros has brown, terezi has blueish green, um. karkat has grey the loser. and apparently it forms a rainbow which is nice. rainbow is good.
16. i dont remember anything else actually
17. wait no i do. AG appeared. shes a petty bully. idk what to say about her. we didnt get that much, except that she hates tavros but is okay with aradia. she also looks like a bottle opener. actually, i think she teamed with aradia to gain leadership rather than to “be friends”. and while that is similar to how karkat did it, meaning the gain, the motivation and how they earned it is entirely different. kinda seeing a trend tho. the leaders of the red/blue teams are both characters who wanted the role, but never had it to begin with. only to win their way into the position. but rather than ask non-stop like karkat did, AG manipulated others so she could be successful. not too sure if she also used aradia for that, or is actually motivated to become friends since they were “past enemies” and she needed a rebound. pretty sure its somewhat both. while AG did mostly use aradia to speak with sollux, what she doesnt know is that aradia is a bad bitch who never even thought about AG and only followed through with the plan bc she had a plan of her own. i guess we’ll look into that later. i lowkey want to know their history.
18. OH AC!!! she appeared for a second as well. love her. shes amazing. 9.5/10. and you may ask yourself, why am i saying “i love this character” but none of them are 10/10?? weellllll its because, and i cant stress this enough, 10/10 belongs to kanaya, i dont make the rules. im waiting for her introduction, shes my favorite and its obvious. sorry.
19. oh huh seems i forgot about the term “lusus”. which.. is.. their parents but not really, its these fucking weird ass creatures that the trolls fought in a cave or something as a child. i dont fucking know. terezi hatched hers and it died? gamzee’s also died but his goat sea dad was never really there to begin with so while it is sad, its more sad that gamzee never saw him? um.. karkat killed his own by exploding his computer bc sollux said dont run the virus and karkat said u cant tell me what to do and did it anyways. so thats on him. but apparently theyre supposed to die, to become prototyped during the game, right? yeah. i remember now.
20. thats.. about it? idk anything else, nothing is coming back to me apart from the shit above. huh.... im surprised how quickly things do come back to you the moment you rant about the plot tho.... handy trick.
cool. neat. fun. this took me too long. but im glad i remember a little bit.
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cirilee · 4 years
Text
i just found a text my browser had saved on a word count website, and i apparently typed it last november while being sad - i just wanna have a place to post it, and it explains why i was gone for most of may through november last year.
if you’re interested, u can read, it’s basically just a long long long vent and i wanna save it somewhere :’)
(and if you wanna, you can tell me what u think of the whole thing, maybe share if something like that happened to you too, because man, this whole thing was WEIRD for me)
bottom line is: i’m much better now and have way better friends then back then and in general, i’m a pretty happy person again^^
My parents and me had been fighting a lot the past years. I still love them. For a while though, it was just shouting matches between us. We weren't really speaking to each other throughout january 2019 until april 2019, so i wasn't informed by them that they were planning to mOVE OUT. And the place they wanted to move to only had enough space for 2 people. now my brother and me had 3 months total to find and finance our own flats. i was desperate. 2 months i unsuccessfully searched for a job or a flat or a way to make a deposit for said flat, without any saved up money. an old school friend offered to move out together. i only saw him once every month for group activities. he was nice, but we also had a bit of a history. 3 years ago he had acted kinda scummy and tried to get me to be his girlfriend because "he couldnt find anybody else” - ending in a "movie night with friends" that turned out to be a trap, where the only one spending the night was me because he only invited me. creepy. he apologized and i forgave him and we were chill and it was normal between us. i realize now, that i should have just left him out of my life at that point. but time was running out, so i gave in and asked myself "whats the worst he could do. i’ve known this person for 12 years and the he's part of my friend group" we set up basic rules, how we would pay for stuff, etc. .. we moved in. it seemed fine. then i noticed that he talked A LOT. and he wanted A LOT of attention. after a day of working on my diploma or working at my job, he would assert himself in my room and try to engage in smalltalk. i am not the hermit type. i engaged with him, i joined in on his conversation. but when i was already tired he wouldn't accept "i'm gonna go to sleep". there was always something else he needed to talk about. I was trying to make clear to him that i needed alone time too, but no matter how honest i was, the message either didn't seem to stick, or he'd get upset and start asking me if i hated him. With that, i could have kept up with in the long run. Then he started knocking on my door. even when it was already late and i already told him i was gonna go to sleep. Repeatedly knocking on my door. At some point he just opened the door. It was 1am. I pretended to sleep. I could hear him breathing, it sounded angry. He eventually closed the door. The next morning i confronted him. He argued it away as him trying to warn me that he was going to take a shower, so that i wouldn't use the bathroom. He started commenting on how i wasn't funny enough around him. in that friend group, i'm the funny one :c. but i cant keep up that energy 24/7 (this was supposed to be a home, not a free neverending standup act, for this one guy). that confused him. the next day he asked me if i had depression. My parents had given me a griller/toaster as a parting gift (there’s a backstory for that too but anyways) my flatmate ALSO had that same toaster. He demanded we make up our minds which one to keep. i didn't understand why this was important to him and i hated discussing this useless topic with him so i stored the toaster in my room. He repeatedly suggested i throw mine away (?). One evening i got hungry and decided i'd make myself a toast in my room. So i made some toast. Suddenly he bursts in. And he starts ranting. "why are you doing this are you CRAZY you cant TOAST in your own room thats DANGEROUS you're gonna start a fire, don't ever do that again, we have a KITCHEN for that. why don't you want to use the kitchen you cant just HIDE from me every day, this is OUR flat  and i want us to live TOGETHER!" He didn't stop talking and it overwhelmed me, so (this is embarrassing, but) i actually started crying and i turned away from him so i could try to control myself. and he just started babytalking me "awww its alright i didn't mean to scare you, but you see, you shouldn't have done that". he tried putting his arms around me, i told him to stop. "you need a hug right now" ...... i was so angry i think my brain might have short circuited because the next hour was me just acting the whole way through. i told him everything he wanted to hear. i was so sorry for almost burning the house down and made up some explanation that my parents were still making me sad, so i needed distance. The next big thing involved one of my best friends. she wanted to spontaneously go out for an evening. so i put on some pants and of course: HE appears in my room, asking where i'm going. i was surprised by the question and just answered "going out with Lina" he left it at that. then suddenly: "can i come too?" He threw me off with that question. Lina had said she needed some advice on personal stuff, so I said "no" because i didn't have a better answer. he got ANGRY. i explained. "Lina wants some privacy, i'm sorry" He starts arguing that Lina is just as much his best friend, and that he should be allowed to hear what she wants to say to me. Before i can reply he slams his door shut. "Don't even try to explain yourself", he says. I told my friend while meeting up with her and she began with the sympathetic "you should have said yes" and we argued about it and then she came out with this absolutely horrifying sentence: "you know how he is. you cant be *too* honest with him. he's sensitive. you need to lie to him so he doesn't get mad" it was as if i'd been splashed with cold water. i said i didn't agree with that. that that was actually unfair to HIM. nobody likes being lied to and treated less than. she called him, told him i was gonna apologize and he showed up with the angriest expression i ever saw in his face. he accused me of being depressed and that he now has the burden of my mental issues to bear. This he assumed because one night i told him about me dissassociating sometimes a few years ago. Then he wanted me to promise i would never leave him, because he's afraid i won't be able to pay my part of the rent. the crowning moment was my friend Lina mostly agreeing with him and both of them berating me for not having my life together because i still hadn't managed to find an open-ended contract job, only limited-time jobs. at the end he justified himself by saying he cant stand my parents phoning me. (at that point they had started calling me everyday and showed genuine concern ... i was trying to reform a bond with them) - apparently he resented that. he knew about my parents disciplining me with face slaps as a kid (when i was 9-11 yrs old) (they feel bad about it, and they they stopped doing it fairly early) in that moment my flatmate chose to tell me ..... (hoo boy i need to get ready to type this) .... "i'm concerned about you. if your father would ever beat you, i would beat him  to a bloody pulp" then he repeated "i would beat him/kill him" a few times, VERY agitatedly. it was scary and at that point i was numb. i didn't really respond, i just said "its fine" or something to that extent. the  thing that made me decide to move out (although certainly among many that followed that night) was this: one morning i informed him i was going to visit my parents that weekend. we had started talking again (as i mentioned before and i wanted to meet them without fighting for once). he says "but you're coming back, right". i say "of course don't be so nervous". i go to work. i get a LOT OF texts from him suddenly. i skim through it. he's mad about me calling him "nervous". i don't reply/read bc i am at work. Then he actually CALLS me. i don't pick up.  now i'm thinking: What is so  important, that he has to call me during work.  there's a 4 paragraph essay in my inbox. "watch your mouth", "you have no right to speak that way to me", "you should have more respect". he was mad i called him nervous. i responded that i don't have time to reply. he argued back. at one point i said "if i cant even call you nervous then i'm ACTUALLY gonna stay with my parents" he fiNALLY didn't reply to that. after a 10hour day i come home. i wanna shower. i go to my room, close the door and start undressing myself. of course, there's knocking on my door. i say "No" he flips out. i calmly tell him i'm only half dressed. he flips out even more, says i'm a horrible person who WANTS to fight because my "no" wasn't a good enough answer and i should have explained in full detail why he couldn't get in. he was actually SERIOUS. this was his reasoning for flipping out. he goes away. not even a minute passes by and he hammers his fist against my door again. "OPEN UP THIS TIME I *HAVE* TO COME IN" at this point i'm beginning to get kinda scared  so i say "come in" He comes in and says he needs me to disconnect with the wifi because he needs it for his work. i calmly say "ok" and disconnect my wifi. he goes away, leaves the door open. i stand up to go and close my door. HE ACTUALLY GOES AND PULLS AGAINST ME TO TRY TO PRY IT OPEN AGAIN. eventually he lets go and then he flips out FOR REAL. he starts screaming about how i'm a psycho, and that im crazy and awful and he has been nothing but nice and that he "saved" me and i haven't been thankful enough.
.... ..
yes, i was in a difficult position. but that flatmate arrangement was made on even ground. he had wanted to move out from his parents for years. i fled and left. called my parents, but they were miles away and laughed it off. i would have probably too. i called my friends. Lina offered to come and mediate. He continued screaming even with Lina there. It culminated with him roaring at me, pointing at the door saying "if you don't like how i treat you, there's the door, leave right now" with lina replying "don't say that, you NEED her money to pay rent!" it was awful, and an eye-opener. the next day, on the way to work, i decided i was gonna move out. and before i could tell him, i get a message from him (!). An ultimatum. he tells me i have 3 options. 1) leave immediately and take my stuff away within a week. i wouldn't have "pay any more than i've already payed" (it was the first day of that month and i had already payed my rent. nice) 2) stay for half a year, but immediately pay him something so that he knows i'll stay 3) stay indefinitely, but set up a " bevahiour contract" with him, so this "never happens again" i told him i'd take option 1 and then i stayed over at a friends house. then at a friends shared appartement. then at dormitary and soon i'm gonna move in with my younger brother. we've been estranged a bit but grown closer through this whole thing. now Lina and him are still friends and lina blames me for "everyone in our friend group" being mad at him. one of her first concerns, was that her birthday parties are gonna be weird now. i am completely done with her as well and don't want her in my life anymore. according to her, I left him with a rent he cant pay  and i should feel bad for that. except i dont. should i though?
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painfog · 4 years
Note
Hey so I saw you mention top surgery and was curious. I was supposed to be having top surgery this summer but that’s postponed. I was curious how that went with chronic pain? I’m scared about the surgical binder with my fibro and back pain. Any advice or info would be greatly appreciated!! (You can answer privately if you prefer)
ive actually been meaning to write up a big post on this pretty much since i had top surgery but still haven't got around to it yet so I'm happy to talk about it lol. ill go over stuff now n still aim to do a more in depth post later when im on my laptop (but writing this now bc i tend to forget everything haha). ill stick to the more fibro / chronic illness specific stuff & stuff i wasnt expecting rather than rehashing everything. apologies im on mobile so i cant put this under a cut
firstly, im sorry ur surgery got postponed! i know that must be gutting, so i hope it gets rescheduled asap & the time until then passes easily for u ❤️
I had double incision with free nipple grafts on the 4th of september 2019 with Mr Miles Berry at the london wellbeck hospital. i think he did an amazing job and can't recommend him enough for his work! i think the last pics i took of my chest were for tdov, and ill rb them after i post this for reference. i didnt have drains at any point of the surgery
for ppl with fibro, i was told that the pain after surgery either tends to trigger a flareup, or be really easily manageable, and it's hard to predict which it will be beforehand. its best to prepare for a flareup and be pleasently surprised if u dont get one. for me, i had a flareup that sucked but wasnt too bad as far as flareups go
you'll probably get given painkillers. take them regularly. it's easier to treat pain preemptively. if u don't get given them (no idea how it works outside of the uk) id say def get codine and paracetamol. u can't take ibuprofen for a while
i woke up from aneasthetic freezing cold + in a lot of pain. apparently most ppl dont need the full dose of morphine, but i did. after that it was a bit better. i was just So Goddamn Hungry literally it's all i was talking about
that night in hospital was probably one of the most uncomfortable in my life. you have to sleep sitting up for like blood reasons, so my back pain was quite bad bc of it. moving around a bit and adjusting pillows helped. if u have anything that normally helps ur back pain bring it with u to the hospital, & dont be afraid to ask the nurses for help with it (even if they can just adjust ur pillows for u). i couldnt rly sleep much but distraction helps. bring ur phone + headphones. i did a few ask memes when i couldnt sleep
the first week from surgery was rly tough, the first few days especially. this was bc i still had to sleep elevated for a few days and i couldnt get comfortable. i was too exhausted to do anything but couldn't sleep and it rly started to get me down. then i got some sleeping tablets (just nytol) and that helped so much. i literally cannot recommend it enough bc the not sleeping properly made everything hard (and like esp because with fibro the whole pain/fatigue/depression cycle is so real). once i started sleeping better recovery became a lot easier, and the tablets made the awkward sleeping positions more manageable. if i had to give only one bit of advice this would be it
on that note, ik everyone says this but do get a V pillow. it helps u adjust to sleeping on ur back and if u sleep on ur side normally it means u can like lean slightly sideways on it which makes it sm easier. also this isn't even top related but they make good back pillows when ur watching stuff in bed even now
get urself some video games (if ur into them) and easy entertainment shows lined up for when u wanna have them. recovering from major surgery makes ur fatigue even more pronounced so ur not going to be able to do all that much, but having light entertainment ready to go stops u getting as bored. its also a good excuse to finally play/watch the things you've been meaning to for a while
go outside when u can. if u have a garden just walk around it. it helps with a lot of stuff, and idk about u but i always forget how much it does. even just helping u sleep better if u get trapped in a fibro fatigued-but-can't-sleep cycle. and it goes so far helping u feel human in the first week
the first week is rly hard for a lot of ppl - its frustrating to have all that pain and exhaustion and not being able to wash or change the binder, and with the swelling and bandages under the binder it doesn't really feel like there's much change, which all sort of adds together. i keep going on about this week bc it helps to mentally prepare for it - there's no need to dread it, you just need to remind urself how worth it itll all be and that the rest of recovery is a lot better than the first part, and in time it won't have seemed that bad. big picture stuff
when u get the chest reveal, everything's better. i didnt stop smiling. and when u put the post op binder on afterwards, without all the bandaging, u like feel for the first time how much flatter u are??? and its amazing. even with the swelling. and then u get to shower and u feel human again and its great. (ik some ppl have their post ops/chest reveals much earlier than a week, but 5 days to a week is pretty standard in the uk. mine was 6 days i think)
more post op binder stuff: i got given 2. the first one i woke up in after the surgery and wasn't allowed to take off until my post op, and the second one i got given at my post op to change into after i showered. After that i alternated every few days. whatever u get given, if u get less than 2 i recommend getting another one so u can alternate them (if u want help sourcing them hmu. ive also still got mine i need to give away)
the post op binders were actually a lot easier to wear full time than normal binders. they were like more stretchy, and stretchy the full way round (bc they dont have the compression bit at the front). i used to sleep in my normal binder every time i slept with my ex, and that hurt like a motherfuck sometimes. the post op binder was much kinder to my ribs
i had to wear the post op binder full time, taking it off like once a day to shower n let my chest breathe (and massage my scars once i started that). some surgeons arent that strict abt wearing it that long, but it really helps swelling, & bc i didnt have drains it was rly important to stop fluid buildup. ik quite a few guys in my trans groups who stopped wearing their binder fairly early and then got quite a lot of swelling so i didn't want to risk it & i wore it for the full 6 weeks. at some point (icr when but maybe at 6 weeks? bc my post op was at 8 weeks bc he was on holiday) i didnt wear it during the day and only wore it at night
all in all the binder didnt bother me that much. it was more comfortable than my regular binders and i just kinda got on with it. it was annoying tho and i was glad when i could stop wearing it. for me the most annoying part was that it was a full length binder (i always wore half length before) and the riding up at the hips was rly irritating. i actually quite liked sleeping with it tho it was a pretty nice pressure stim ahah
some post op binders r more comfortable than others. if u have to buy ur own, i rly suggest going with a proper surgical one (they arent too hard to find second hand for free or cheap, again im happy to help here) bc they're kinder to chronic pain. i know that having a comfortable post op binder made it all a lot easier for me. there are also lots of alternatives w lots of price ranges tho, so that's not ur only option
ok i think thats everything right now! sorry its so long, but let me know if u have any questions!!
finally: before i got top ppl told me that its honestly life changing, and i didnt realise how true that would be. literally every single aspect of my life is at least partially better because of it, and most of them drastically so. I'm really excited for you to get that for yourself, and im wishing u all the best for it 💕
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shcnley · 4 years
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╰ ✧ ZOEY DEUTCH. MUSE SEVEN. BISEXUAL. ❞ say hello to the s club’s very own SHANLEY EVANS! a TWENTY-THREE year old CISFEMALE that goes by SHE/HER pronouns. i heard they were voted MOST TALKATIVE in high school, which says a lot about them because they’re very VIVACIOUS and DEPENDABLE, but watch out for their IMPULSIVE and STUBBORN side as well. i hope they’re ready to take a break from being a TEACHER and finally get this summer started! 
hiiii friendssss, i’m gigi!!! and here’s my lil french fry lovin’ bb, shanley. sooo excited to plot w/ you allllll <333 
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B A S I C S
full name: shanley nicole evans gender: cisfemale pronouns: she/her sexuality: bisexual age: 23 years old birthday: january 27th 1997 birthplace: NYC currently living: chicago, il relationship status: single zodiac: aquarius sun, virgo moon, leo rising occupation: teacher ( 1st grade )
I N S P O
characters: jessica day ( new girl ), lorelai gilmore ( gilmore girls ), harper ( set it up ), summer roberts ( the o.c. ), alexis rose ( schitt’s creek ), & amy march ( little women ). music: click this sentence for playlist !!  pinterest: click this sentence for pinterest !! 
B A C K G R O U N D
kso, i’m going to be honest. shanley had an extremely normal and happy childhood. her parents met in high school, fell in love and were married after graduating college. her father ( theodore evans / think sandy cohen from the oc ) is an executive vice president of an insurance company while her mother ( clara evans / think kristina braverman from parenthood ) is a stay-at-home mom. born and raised in new york city. she has an older sister ( haddie evans / think prue halliwell from charmed ) who is three years older, she has an extremely close relationship with her. shanley is obsessed with family, tbh. she tells them just about everything. they had dinner together every night and talk about their days, have inside jokes, go on family vacations every summer ( before sclub summers ). overall, her parents are very loving and supportive, wanting only the best for their daughters. in high school, shanley was convinced she wasn’t like other girls *pUkeS*. she was very outgoing. like she literally made friends with anyone and everyone. a friendly face; probably the student who showed the new students around. it was rare to see shanley upset or rude to anyone unless she was defending someone. she had good grades (our shanny was v advanced), kind of a teacher’s pet but like still got her seat moved or sent to the hallway because she wouldn’t stop talking. i almost made her superlative most likely to say something stupid because like that’s her too. she was on the yearbook committee, played volleyball, and was a part of the student government. if she wasn’t at school or home, you would most likely find her with arlo, which whew. a story there. when it came to the sclub, she spent whatever free time she had left with them. encouraging all the trouble; shanley will do ANYTHING you tell her to and probably doesn’t think about it. don’t give her dumbass a dare because she will do it. sorry , i forgot what i was going to say; let’s change topics. NO i remembered, lets carry on. she’s always up for a good time. don’t hesitate to invite shan...even if you don invite her...she’ll invite herself SO. fast forward to college, shanley was accepted to loyola university and moved to chicago. how excite!!!!  kso she always knew she wanted to go away for school yanno be miss independent thats why they love her BUT college life wasn’t easy, not in the beginning at least. she was going through a breakup and lost herself for a while. became cold and detached; honestly after the break up her routine was to go to class then back to her dorm, study, cry and repeat. she was only friends with her roommates till finally they forced her to go out and deal with her heartbreak the “””normal””” college way aka getting stupid drunk. *tiktok vc* it izz what it izz. joined a sorority then dropped it because it was too culty for her. she got a part time job at insomnia cookies. slowly became high school shanley again. her spirits were especially lifted when she began student teaching. the kids made her so happy. they also proved to her that teaching was what she was meant to do. next thing ya know, four years are up and our girl has a degree in elementary education.  no one probably asked but her love life !!! like mentioned earlier shanley is single. she was convinced she was going to end up marrying arlo, maybe not right after high school like people assumed but eventually. they just connected on another level so when he ended things after their first year of college, shan was crushed. but if you’re curious, she's still got the hots for arlo. are we surprised tho? no? exactly. thanks for reading, pals. dsjkn okay i’ll add more. fine. so she hooks up with people and goes on dates but no one sticks. she doesn’t want them to stick either. she knows she had that like one great love and doubts she’ll ever feel it again so she just prefers to be on her own. she don’t need no man !!!!!!!! except for one...but mind ur business. so like what is shanley nicole evans up to now? well, her original plan was to move back home once she had graduated. but she was offered a teaching position in chicago and gladly accepted it. she figured since she loved living in chicago so much and it was at the school where she completed her student teaching; it all felt right for her to stay there. this was a fresh start for her. and she got it!! ya girl moved into a beautiful ( expensive ) apt near lake shore drive, started her own tiktok account where she randomly went viral and fell in love with all her students who she calls her kiddy beans!!
E X T R A !!
has 4 tattoos:       portrait of her dog, on her left calf // why? again obsessed w/ her dog       aquarius symbol,  on her right outer elbow side // zodiac hoe. Is v proud       coffee mug, on her right wrist side // her first tattoo. couldnt think of anything else.       honey bee, back of her arm above elbow // got really drunk, heard a song, thought of arlo, ended up at a shop with friends as a joke and woke up the next morning with it. 8 piercings: 3 each lobe. Industrial ( left ). tragus ( right ). sings when she talks sometimes most of the time speaks in really bad accents; new jersey being her fav is always in a dress...look at her pinterest...all she has is dresses. she likes to show off her legs ok. obsessed with animals ( if she’s not paying attention, its bc she’s thinking about her dog and/or bunnies ), coffee, and junk food. a jonas brothers stan, nick is her favorite brother. shelf is her favorite song. cries whenever she hears when you look me in the eyes ( she sang it to arlo when he took her to their concert ). has a big following on tiktok. on the teacher side. she posts her ootd and weird shit her students have said. sometimes even reenacts scenes from new girl. a reality tv show about birds she sees. its quite entertaining.  potatoes and pasta are her favorite foods. grew up making fairy gardens has a concentration face  dances for no and every reason.especially if she’s excited or beat someone in something. rambles way too much, forgets what she’s talking about mid sentence, attention span of a fruit fly. she has a hammock named bartholomew and she chills on it when she’s sad...so most of this trip. :-)))
welcome 2 the end; gimme all ur plots. i wanna plot with you all. i am down for everything and anything. 
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