#sorry for the angst train I love those fucked up gays

[danganronpa96]

Au where the chapter 6 motive is hanahaki disease but monotora fucked up the laws of hanahaki. And now hayasaka and latte are coughing up flowers for dead people

I remember seeing you talk about this on the discord a while back and it was like a try not to cry challenge in real time /j

I went to do a little research on the hanahaki disease and I found that it doesn’t have to be a specific flower. So I decided to find what type of flower the two would be diseased with.

Latte -> carnations, specifically white. Since they symbolise purity and good luck, it’s a reminder of Latte’s pure and happy relationship with Mai, and the good virtue Mai gave Latte before her death.

This may underline a hopeful idea that she can overcome the disease, however as she does not want to forget Mai, it only gets worse.

Hayasaka -> roses, either red or crimson red. Red roses are a common symbol of love, so he won’t be able to turn a blind eye to his feelings towards Kurumada, something he had often struggled with. It also heavily reflects on his verbal confession in the trial.

Crimson red on the other hand represents mourning, something that will co-exist within Hayasaka for the foreseeable future. I’d imagine seeing such a thing every day would only wear him down further.

I also read that sometimes surgery to remove the flowers is possible, at the cost of removing all feelings (and/or memories) of the person they love. So, if Nesos gave them the option of getting rid of the disease with that clause in mind, I wonder if either of the two would give in.

The more I think about it, however, the less I’d see them ever consider it.

[teddysgrahms]

my anderperry playlist and song explanations because I am gay

• Those magic changes by sha na na

One of my favorite songs from grease and also about the night and moment of falling in love and the blissful joy of that moment. The song has an element of angst to it but I look past it. like that is so anderperry I’m sorry? me when I fell in love to those magic changes?

• I melt with you by modern English

this song is about having s3x during a nuclear apocalypse but for my intents and purposes it’s about being with your lover at the end of the world and melting together metaphorically (and physically!) I just think they would die for each other idk

• (Feels like) heaven by fiction factory

the vibes are so excellent in this song + spending time with your lover is heaven in and of itself. they just. really like being together.

• la vie en rose by louis armstrong

this song makes me um explode I imagine them dancing poorly to this in their living room and stepping on each other’s feet and giggling and stumbling over one another and they are the most precious things ever?

• thirteen by big star

this song gives off the vibe of school age crushes and young romance and first love nerves and that’s just so them. it’s literally them your honor

• electric blue by icehouse

i think of this song as neil’s initial feelings for todd, lord of nerves and uncertainty and jitters because wow this boy is cute

• futile devices

a long-lasting love that’s become so natural it’s hard to put into words. I associate this one strongly with todd and how he handles his feelings about neil. sometimes words are not enough, and that is okay

• good old-fashioned lover boy by Queen

Neil is THE good old-fashioned loverboy and I will not hear otherwise. he’d be such a little gentleman and plan cute dates and do everything in his power to make things amazing and even when things aren’t great his effort is duly noted and appreciated

• put your head on my shoulder by Paul anka

I don’t think I need to explain myself. they enjoy a good cuddle. they’re in love. what more must i say

• dream a little dream of me by Doris day

hail Queen Doris Day this song is so adorable just the vibes alone are so anderperry core. like dream of me when you sleep tonight. we could stay up all night but you will see me in your dreams anyhow I love you <3

• i can dream, can’t i? by the andrews sisters

this one is a bit sad because the speaker is convinced they have no chance with their romantic interest. this is very todd core to me. he’d think he has no shot with neil but he can always dream (we are dreaming of tomorrow but tomorrow isn’t coming?)

• my romance by doris day

very neil coded. he doesn’t need anything special he just needs Todd and that’s good enough for him.

• time after time by iron & wine

beautiful cover by an all-time classic. they will always be there for each other, to find one another when they’re lost and catch the other when they fall

• old black train by the blasting company

the vibes are delectable. It feels like running away from home and searching for something unknown, a sort of yearning for a better life than the one you have. I imagine them running away together and being frightful and uncertain yet assured knowing they have each other. (but that lingering sense of “You can’t go back” is ever present and it’s nearly dreadful!)

• dear wormwood by the oh hellos

so. um. if u know me u know I’m a neil kinnie and uh. girlies this song is so him it actually makes me sick. I’ve put some songs in this playlist that are more specific to either Neil or todd individually and this is one of them. the self-discovery. the growth to demand better for yourself and refuse to be treated as less than by a parental figure. so fucking delicious. ugh.

• you’re the one by the vogues

adorable vibes and an overall cute song about loving your partner wholeheartedly. upbeat and catchy. I can imagine them dancing to this one also but in a more upbeat way

• thursday by asobi seksu

ngl this song changed me as a person I think ummm this just gives me todd vibes? something about losing your way, feeling lost and searching for anything to latch onto, holding on to the people closest to you out of fear they may leave at any moment….

• amoeba by clairo

the second todd song. are you a man or an amoeba? damn what if he felt more like an amoeba, like he just goes with how things are and never speaks or acts to how he feels and wants to do things? what if he was barely living?

• the book of love by the magnetic fields

This song makes me INSANE it’s so CUTE they are just so in love and they love each other and hearing the other read or sing or do anything asgghhhurufuh

• satellite by guster

they see each other almost like beacons or lifelines to look to, constants that are safe and reassuring. they are each other’s home.

• im a fool to want you by Frank Sinatra

again that idea of “I have no chance I’m stupid for liking you” but still being unable to change how you feel and just having to live with this heartbreak that has yet to occur

• it only takes a moment from hello, dolly!

Fun fact: this song got me through costume making. this song is in wall-e and aside from being one of the most beautiful songs ever in existence it is SO….I can’t even begin to describe. something about being loved enough for a whole lifetime in only a brief moment….do you think that even though the time neil and todd had together was short it was some of if not the best time of their lives?

• dancing in the moonlight by king harvest

another dancing song! I can see all the poets dancing to this truthfully. very cute song and I just adore the vibes and rhythm

• hopelessly devoted to you by olivia newton-john

this one is a bit dramatic for them but I can see Neil performing this with theatrical effort and intense dramatics

• love me as though there were no tomorrow by nat king cole

euggahhhhhhhhh love me like this is the last chance we’ll ever have……

• earth angel by the penguins

i think they both see each other as like blessings or miracles because their meeting improved both of their lives immensely and may quite possibly have been the best thing to happen to either of them

• you, my love by frank sinatra

i think this one aligns with how Todd feels about neil and how grateful he is to have him in his life. idk man they’re in love

• love letters by nat king cole

can’t remember how this one goes but I know the vibes are good and very them

• when I fall in love by Doris day

This Song is so gorgeous and ggrhehehhhaa I’m gonna break something it’s just so???? they????

• you send me by sam cooke

they both get flustered by how loving the other is and they’re just so damn adorable

• in the still of the night by the five satins

they . they’re in love.

okay that’s all thank youuuu

[istherewifiinhell]

okay just gonna link a bunch of the es story boards videos (i started this with the mind of curation but ended up in a place of COLLECTION. whoops)

and ONE FUN BONUS at the end which u could just skip to the bottom for if (website popup voice) YOU DONT LIKE COOL ANIMATION. (joking lmao. this is for me interact however u like). The bonus is BOTH a fun fact and a fun vid.

i could not be any more clear at ALL TIMES. that i want ppl to watch es but lol either way. <3 story boards. (note also the rise turtles like swag (crossover staff) and see why i say this show looks so good cause u can tell their doing the 3d like its 2d)

notes: scratch track (the non VA audio in theses) so charming. yay u get to see them actually use purple rain. u can really clock mandroid flubbed a punch cause he DIDNT want to punch alex (inch resting) LOOK how extra expressive twitches alt mode is in 2d tho RIP. (crys about the little bird moment for the five hundredth time). Hashtag <3 fucking lmao.

this scene is one of those first DAMN thats crazy in the show i feel like and oh lol. would u look at that. DAMN THATS CRAZY.

AND THEN. this is the part with the meg move i love so much and the meg.op battle couple AND THE AND THE. (passes out) its sooooo cool.

notes: deleted scene, explains WHY shock wave got out during the megs field trip ep. gayass. CUTE KITTY. #3 son mug. this shits literally just so funny. she/her rav pronoun drop fjgbdfjg.

notes: altered version from the final ep they moved night shade around. they all have their final mode colours in the boards aw lol. ALSO. little like. adopted kids moment that i doooo get why they cut but u ALSO GET how it would emotional payoff in the ep with NS protecting their parents Oughhh (rolls on the ground)

notes: JUST A LITTLE MORE emotional oumph to the megs flash back but not that different. hes handsome tho i like to see him. like the scratch tracks impression of shock wave its cute. i can hear the vocal quality their going for.

oh hey also GAY CARS. i just found these/am seeing them first time today

Neat!

NOT THE SAD SHIP VIDEO VIBES.... OH GOD OH GOD... NOT THE SAD ASS PIANO MUSIC..... WHAT THE HELL. THIS IS DEVASTATING. watching bd tanking those shots for bee and crumbling APART. awesome. what the fuck. HELLO.

finale stuff

kids fighting oppie at the train yard. just COOL

fight on the bridge. ALSO COOL.

BIG finale scene stuff in 3 diff parts

scary shit and visuals that FUCK

THE MEGS ANGST. im KILLS ME that it didnt get a way in there. tho would have killed me to see also. no really tho this shit is so visually insane god damn. seeing this DID also help me understand how the screamer save happened better. EVIL SPIDER MAN. also in the group that comes saves em. was not in the final ep but we must pray hes still safe maybe just doing smth else.... (hes with swin and his bro busting in. the brother is the car. lol). twitch doing megs move!!! (propelling herself with her canon). mandroid going full fucking beast mode.... etc.

urghh u can really vibe out how bad those injuries are. and emotionally. bwah.. and. THIS SHOW. god. okay.

okay this one isnt the bonus but ill give it anyway

song from the tf the movie and also my alarm for several months (yes it HAS stopped working thanks for asking) BWAH. my loves. (weeping gently)

OKAY HERE IS THE FUN BONUS VIDEO

REALLY funny really goofy really fucking delightful. the mean girl trio seekers energy is supreme. god i love gay ppl. anyway. hey. doesnt that screamer look.... familiar...... WHY YES. YOU MAY NOTE THE YOUTUBE CHANNEL... SAME PERSON. THEY GOT A FUCKING JOB. ON THE SHOW. (unsure if its causally related) THATS SO FUCKING CRAZY the world is wonderful. es seeker trio THE mean girls seeker trio of all time. even if their barely in it. cause like. wow. (gets stuck in my loop of watching this forever and ever again) BWAH

[doomedmoth]

Better kind of best friend

Pairing : Reader x Alexandra Saint Mleux x Charles Leclerc | Poly & bisexual fem!reader

Warnings : slight emotional cheating, obsessive/possessive/manipulative behavior, suggestive content/smut, fluff then angst then dark fluff, inaccurate racing calendar and school programs, polyamory, use of y/n

Synopsis : When you left the UK for a year long art restoration program in Monaco, you mainly wanted to make some friends. What you didn’t expect was to find your best friend on the first day. And then fall in love with her. And then get tangled in the web of Monaco high society as her boyfriend came back to town, unaware of your little affairs. What the fuck happened to you, you just wanted to make some friends…

Moth’s prophecy💡: Hi frieeeends, sorry for any mistakes, I haven’t written more than blurbs in a while. The poly, Charles, dark parts and smut will happen in the next chapters, I intend on making three of them. The first is mostly gay panic and tooth rotting fluff, so enjoy before it all goes to shit !!

As you stepped outside of Nice’s airport, you felt like you were finally breathing. The weather wasn’t particularly gloomy when you had left London, but nothing compared to the Mediterranean sun and the breeze of the sea. It had always had an inexplicable calming effect on you, now only interrupted by an old French woman throwing what sounded like insults at you as she moved past you towards the parking lot. The sea, you had missed. French people, not so much.

As you embarked on your second journey of buses and trains to your final destination, you took the time of going once more over the details of what would be your schedule those next few months. After getting your degree in Conservation and Restoration of Cultural Heritage, your parents thought it would only do you good to go practice on the field before even thinking of applying to any museum in the UK. You had gone on vacation on the French south coast a few times with them, and in a surprising but welcome turn of events, the Pavillon Bosio, Monaco’s art school, was organizing an internship welcome to all students of arts degrees in Europe. For your parents, a precious opportunity to add an experience to your CV in a prestigious setting. For you, the occasion to enjoy the beach and make friends in an artist residency after five years of hard work at university. Win-win.

The sun was setting on the hills when you finally settled into your room at the residency. Located close to the school, in the high parts of Monaco, the house was old but gorgeous, with pale pink walls and palm trees everywhere in the garden. Ivy leaves were growing at your window, which gave you a view of the port lighting up in the evening. Three floors high, there were a total of 8 bedrooms, all to be occupied by students of the Bosio program. The two remaining were, according to the brief, residents of Monaco.

You threw yourself on the bed with a sigh, your suitcases not even opened yet. The birds were singing softly and your eyes started to flutter in rhythm with them. If you did not make a move, you would be fast asleep, you thought. Yet it seemed like such an effort…

“Ciaoooo !” You sat straight up from the fluffy bed, meeting a pair of green eyes in the opening of the door “Oh scusa, ti ho svegliato ?”

The girl had gorgeous ginger hair, though likely unnatural, flowing down to her waist, and a mischievous smile. She seemed a bit younger than you, and kept staring back at you until you shook your head and answered.

“Sorry ! Um, English is okay ? For you ? No parlo…” was it even parlo ? You were trying to get your point across, hoping she would forgive your mistakes. “No parlo Italiano ?”

“Aaaah yeah yeah sure !” She chuckled, her accent even richer in English. “I’m sorry, did I wake you up ? I just arrived, it seems like we’re the only ones there…”

“No, no don’t worry, I was just resting my eyes. I did not check the other rooms, are we really ?” She nodded, pouting and crossing her arms. She probably expected a big welcome party. “I’m Y/N.”

“Chiara ! Let’s go have a drink when you’ve unpacked !”

You smiled as the girl waved and trotted downstairs. She was right, unpacking right now would probably be a good idea.

“Cazzo, la mia testa…” Chiara groaned while walking down the stairs from her bedroom to the shared kitchen.

Definitely, you had been right to not follow her in town the day before the start of “classes”. The bottle of wine you downed together in under half an hour had been enough, and when she had left to go explore the nearest bars, you had opted for a swift retreat into your room.

This coincided with the arrival of two other students, with whom you spent the rest of the evening making small talk. Apparently another one had arrived in the night.

The Italian boy you hadn’t met was immediately assaulted by Chiara, who seemed to know him. And it also seemed the feeling wasn’t mutual. You understood almost nothing of their exchange, but it made you and your new roommates laugh quite a lot.

The rest of the morning passed slowly, your shared breakfast only interrupted by Chiara’s flow of anecdotes, and a few exchanges about where each one of you was coming from and what studies you did before. One of the girls you had met the night before was going through the rule book of the residency, stating out loud the facts she found relevant.

It’s only around twelve, as you were all getting ready to head to the school for your first meeting, that the three last students arrived to the house. A few pleasantries were exchanged, a promise of a good meal together tonight to meet properly, and you all left the residency, following happily the little path from the garden up the hills.

The Pavillon Bosio looked more like a huge villa than a school, hidden between the trees. With its cute red roof and stunning view of the sea, you were all in awe as you entered through the gates.

“Bonjour, bonjour tout le monde ! This way please, for the restoration workshop right ? This way, come !” An old bearded man with a thick French accent welcomed you all, guiding you through the corridors of the school.

You settled in a small classroom, tables filled with paper cups, coffee dispensers and pastries. The old man introduced himself as the head of the program, and encouraged you to have a drink and get to know each other while waiting for the last two students. You couldn’t help but notice that some things never change, it’s always the one who live the closest who are the latest.

But you had barely any time to put down your bags and take a coffee before laughter was heard in the hallway, two voices clearly making their way towards you. And as they entered the room, your head started spinning.

There they were, the two monegasques, the last missing pieces of your eclectic little group of students. The man was quite elegant, dressed all in black in spite of the warm temperature, and body dripping with gold jewelry. But the girl, oh the girl… With long straight chestnut hair, and eyes of an even darker shade of brown, she was holding on to her friend’s arms with a delicacy only found in children who grew up bathed in the finest luxuries. She was wearing a white summer dress that did nothing to hide the shape of her body, and accentuated her sun-kissed skin. Everyone turned to them as they entered the room, but it seemed to you her eyes were only on you. The thought that you would have been the first to catch her attention made you blush, and you went on to hide your embarrassment in your cup of coffee.

“Alexandra, Luca, bienvenue ! Toujours un plaisir de vous revoir !” The old man, whose name you had learnt was Jean-Paul, went on to shake the hands of the two students, who he seemed to know already. “Je vous en prie, installez vous, prenez un café !”

The man, Luca if you understood correctly, stayed by the teacher’s side, engaging in a conversation punctuated by loads of “Oh !” and “Ah”, but the girl made her way to you with a determination that made you want to hide under the table.

She lost no time serving herself a cup of coffee and a pastry, and turned to you with a smile brighter than the summer sun. As she put her hand on your shoulder, leaning in to lay a kiss on each of your cheeks, you felt as if all the air had been sucked from your body.

“Alexandra, nice to meet you !”

And just like that, your whole world had turned upside down.

In the days that followed that meeting, all the little group of students started to get along pretty well, getting to know each other from their studies to the role they would play in your year-long project, while also sharing personal anecdotes at night, under the trees of the residency’s garden.

But the bond you felt with Alexandra, that was something else. It was as if you two had known each other forever, everything flowed smoothly, and your passions were either shared by the girl, or met with genuine curiosity and interest. Not even two weeks had passed and you already had little habits, inside jokes and plans for the rest of the year.

In the first stage of the program, the work was mainly research and preparation of the artworks, which meant that except for the mandatory seminars and meetings here and there, you were free to schedule your work time and partners as you pleased. This led to Alexandra coming to the house every morning, having breakfast with you, and going to the school together, or settling in your bedroom with your computers and working, or at least trying, together. If you gave yourself free time, she would take you to museums, or restaurants she enjoyed, or just lying down in parks as she tried to teach you some French. She was kind and patient, and in a desperate wish to get her to like you, you tried to be the best student, reading diligently every book she recommended you.

You quickly realized that although she was a true social butterfly, the whole group of students enjoying having her around, she was much more comfortable when you were just the two of you. She would often suggest you sneak off from team activities, wanting to share the secrets of the city she grew up in only with you. And there was no way you would complain about that. By the end of September, you deeply felt like you had found the best of best friends.

You didn’t know how it got so bad so quickly. No, actually, you did. Alexandra was the worst kind of best friend for someone as prone as you to catch feelings. You had always been quite close physically with your friends, hugging and holding hands were essentials for you to express your affection, but you also knew how weak you could be to pet names and fluttering eyelashes, and with each day that passed, she was making it harder for you to only see her as a friend.

You knew she was aware of her beauty and of how everyone seemed to gravitate towards her, but how could she not realize that the amount of affection she gave you was on the borderline of what would be considered “normal” for a girl friendship ? How could she so casually play with your hair, nails softly digging into your scalp as she lulled you to sleep, your head on her legs in your bed ? How could she lack all sense of modesty, casually undressing in front of you when preparing for a party, and expecting you to help her choose a dress as if you weren’t face to face with her lacy underwear and model body.

You truly despised yourself for ruining such a pure friendship with those thoughts, and desperately tried to remember to not break her trust by being not better than those “nice guys” you had so often dealt with yourself. But what you thought could be a simple physical attraction, something that would pass with a few drinks and the arms of an unknown frenchie, turned into a feeling that burned your insides and made your heart ache a little bit more everyday.

You had so often longed for a soft love, someone who would accept and care for you with the same warmth as you would for them. Friends, good friends, you always had many. Deep friendship, much less so. But the bond you had with Alexandra, you had never experienced it before. You were starting to think that if you had ever felt love before, it had been nothing more than a crush in comparison to this.

You tried to be a good friend. Controlling your breathing when she touched you. Inviting others to your gatherings when you felt you might confess after one too many drinks. Trying not to read too much into her actions, but damn it, she really seemed to be like this only with you.

In the end, what lost you were the pet names. One in particular, she would always throw carelessly as if the word didn’t roll on her lips, sweet like honey.

“Coucou mon chou !”

Waving at you and jumping in your arms, she would repeat the pet name again and again just to see you blush, and who were you to deny her… At first you did not know the meaning of it, and thinking of it, maybe you should have never asked.

It was the middle of October, and you were working with her and Chiara in the school, getting started on repairing some of the minor artworks that were entrusted to you. Well, more like you and Chiara were working, and Alexandra was tagging along out of boredom. With her degree in Art History, her role in the workshop wasn’t as much on the artworks than on their exposition. Which mostly meant your ginger friend was peeling little gold leaves while listening to EDM so loud you could still shake your head in rhythm through her headphones, and Alexandra was glued to you, even in the most uncomfortable of positions.

She had started working on little braids in your hair when, once again, the pet name was used.

“Mon chou, d’you have any hair ties ?”

“What does it mean ?” You asked as plainly as possible, while giving her the hair tie on your wrist.

“What does what mean ?”

“Mon chou. I guess that’s a nickname but you haven’t taught me what it means.” Something good, you hoped. Something sweet.

“No way you don’t know what’s a chou ?!” She grabbed you by the shoulders and you had to follow her movement swiftly in order to not ruin your work “Un chou ? Like… un chou à la crème ?” You nodded no, a bit shameful. You should have looked it up yourself. “It’s a pastry, dear. Something delicious, very airy, the best are filled with cream ? My favorite.” She planted a kiss on your cheek, and you thought, honest to god, that you could die happy on the spot. “Just like you.”

If only this had stopped there. But the next day, when she came to the residency, she snuck the breakfast directly into your room. You had barely woken up when she sat on the side of your bed, seemingly quite excited. She made you sit up and pushed some strands of hair behind your ears before placing the small pastry box on your knees.

“What is this Alex…?” You groaned while pushing back the curtains with one hand, rubbing your eyes with the other.

“Des choux !” She was grinning from ear to ear, and did not give you much more time to comprehend before opening the box. In it, a myriad of little golden cream puffs were staring back at you. “Des choux pour mon chou !” She giggled at her joke and you could not help but laugh too, for the gift was both actually funny, and sweet. “You gotta taste !”

You agreed, but she seemed to have something else in mind as she took one between her slender fingers and brought it up to your mouth. Surely she would not…? And surely she did. Taking advantage of your stupid lack of reaction time, she softly pushed the pastry between your lips, not enough to make you gag on it, yet you could still feel her digit rubbing your bottom lip before making an exit, leaving you dumbfounded and mouth full of the soft cream. Oh yes, you were definitely fucked.

October came to an end, the heavy temperatures and lazy afternoons on the beach leaving place to walks in the old town, cuddled together under one huge scarf. But the evening breeze did nothing to appease the fire in your heart, nor did it slow the speed at which your feelings for Alexandra deepened every day. If not too long ago, you wished for your friendship to stay as pure as the summer sky, now you only longed to confess, lay your heart out before her as a sacrifice, telling her to eat it raw, and the whole of you with it. It was a mixture of love, devotion and desire so strong, she could have asked you to worship her and you would have built a cathedral in her honor.

But you were oh so afraid of ruining everything. If she didn’t return your feelings, that was one thing. But what if she hated you for it ? You could not bear the thought of being apart from her, especially knowing you would still have to work with her for the rest of the year. You would rather eat your feelings than let it happen.

You were still pondering what it could mean for you both when you arrived at her apartment, in the very center of Monaco. You had been there quite a few times, even more recently, to work, to crash after evenings out, or just to have sleepovers, like tonight. It was very well located, and filled with expensive and tasteful furniture, but you did not really like it.

She had explained to you that she did her studies in Paris, and her parents still lived in Monaco. She would also often hang out at friends’ places, in and out of Monaco, and even spend weekends outside of the country quite frequently, with friends as well. The apartment was mostly a safety net, an investment, but you could feel nothing of her in it. It was barely decorated, a bit more those last few weeks now that you two were constantly buying stupid trinkets in token of your friendship, but you did not see her in it.

Yet, as she opened the door and took you instantly in her arms, whispering in your ear, home is the only word that came to your mind.

“Bonsoir mon petit chou”

“Bonsoir louloute” you answered sheepishly with your shitty accent, greeting her with the pet name she had taught you, one her friend Luca often used. It did not mean anything, just sounded cute.

She giggled, taking your hand and leading you inside. Very quickly, through music, wine and hair curlers, the mood for the evening was set. The alcohol made you speak more freely, and hopefully, it would help Alexandra too. Even though she said you knew things about her that nobody else did, there were still many subjects where you could feel her hesitation to delve in. It’s okay, with time, she would trust you about those too, you were sure of it.

She was babbling on about some friends’ drama while sitting on the edge of the window, when you took in the sight in front of you. She had taken off her hair curlers, and put on a satin robe that was slowly falling down her shoulder. The show of lights behind her, flickering between the moon and the glow of the city’s street lamps, made her features stand out even more. Her hair looked so shiny, her skin so soft, and the sparkle in her eye… Nothing she said really mattered, yet you could listen to her for hours and hours, as long as she kept blessing you with this sight.

You must have stared too intensely or for too long, because she came down from her seat and knelt on the floor, right in front of you, softly cupping your cheek with her hand.

“Ça va mon chou ?” Her brows furrowed, and she brought her other hand to your forehead. “You okay ?”

Her hot breath, inches away from your face. Her perfume, tickling your nose, you could almost see it dripping from her neck. Her fingers, drawing small figures on your cheeks. And her lips… there she was, so close, almost face to face, you had dreamt of this so often, and only now you realized how pink her lips were.

Maybe it was the amount of wine, maybe the temperature in her living room, but everything started spinning, and before you knew it, you had closed the gap and crashed your lips against hers. One hand on her small waist, the other in her hair, the kiss was messy, sticky like honey, you wanted to bite and barely restrained yourself. You felt like your heart was about to explode when she moaned into your mouth, and you were pretty sure you felt it drop when she pulled away.

For what felt like an eternity, you stayed silent, panting, eyes locked, air heavy with the realization of what had just happened. She blushed, and you started smiling, before she spoke in a shaky breath, her voice barely above a whisper.

“Y/N… I’m sorry I…. I have a boyfriend…”

Part 1 // Part 2 // Part 3

[bernadettefoxs]

friends don’t kiss me like you do

summary: lou and debbie have to fight their feelings for each other while working/living together + one very jealous lou miller.

length: long (and gay) enough

warnings: extreme fluff!! and a little angst

—

“Just leave it there, TamTam, Jesus.” Debbie spoke with an angry tone while Tammy was sitting at the other end of Lou’s couch, trying to fix Debbie’s heel that broke when she and Tammy ran home together after getting out of the cab on a rainy New York city night.

Debbie almost twisted her ankle stepping on a cobblestone and Tammy laughed, tugging her arm and helping Debbie steady herself, but one of her heels was now wrecked and the brunette was cursing under her breath, meeting an impatient Lou waiting for them by the door, whispering “what the fuck” when both women showed up looking like train wrecks, both a little drunk too. It was supposed to be a business dinner with one of Debbie’s old friends who worked at the bank, and it ended up with margaritas and endless vodka shots.

Lou was a bit hurt, not ever admitting that to anyone, that Debbie didn’t ask her to come with her, calling Tammy instead. Sure, Tammy was her best friend too, but she wasn’t Lou, and Lou wondered why not just ask her when Tammy had to leave four snotty kids at home and Lou was always just… there. She welcomed their drunk mess with tea and dry towels, and now she was watching the silly shatter from the kitchen as Debbie snatched the heel from Tammy’s hand with a giggle.

“Leave it to me, honey, I can do it.” Lou knew it was all part of the banter, but hearing someone else call Debbie those stupid pet names was one of the worst things she’d ever witnessed. It only made her wanna throw up, thinking she’d been somehow replaced by Tammy as the best friend, and maybe as something else too. And it hurt her even more that Tammy was her friend, and that now she was starting to act and think like an immature teenager. Put it together, Miller.

.

Lou was in love. She couldn’t deny it. As much as she really, really, truly wanted to. She and Debbie had decided on staying “just friends” until they could really work things out between them and also get the heist successfully done. But every time Lou let time pass carelessly she’d find herself attached to the brunette, physically, almost too many times.

It would either happen after Debbie had a rough day assembling new members for the team or after Lou didn’t have a good day at the club. They would always find comfort in each other after midnight when Lou was about to go to bed but Debbie always stopped her before the australian could even step into her bedroom.

It was 1am, Debbie was sure because she’d had dinner with Lou three hours ago when she came back from the club, and afterwards she texted Tammy good night, assuring her that she was okay and thanking her for the help with the banker guy the other day, “also, fuck you, I ruined one good pair of heels because you thought you were Usain Bolt in the rain.”

She heard Lou turn off the kitchen lights and knew the australian was headed to bed, and she suddenly lost interest in the cooking book she was reading. It was Lou’s and she wasn’t even so sure Lou herself actually ever read that thing ever, but it was something to kill her time.

“Lou? Can I sleep with you?” the whisper filled the silent living room. All the lights were out except for the yellow ray from the creepy skull lamp Lou had gotten as a gift from her brother Rusty, she put it on her coffee table at first not really knowing what to do with it and she would always find Debbie sitting by the corner of her couch, using the light to read in the dark. She liked to sit there because she could always see when Lou walked around the place.

Debbie’s eyes followed her like a flashlight and even after almost fifteen years of knowing that woman the effect the australian had on her was still the same. Lou didn’t change at all. Being in prison for five years, she missed seeing that on the daily, and to her surprise, the first night she spent with Lou felt like home again. She never got used to being without Lou. And Lou didn’t either.

It would all fade to black again when Debbie decided to distance herself from those feelings, from Lou. She couldn’t escape the fear of fucking things up with the most important person in her life, so she would pretend to look away when Lou looked at her with that look, wouldn’t go out with her even just to run some stupid errands when Lou asked her to, every moment did something to her and she couldn’t bear it anymore. She couldn’t bare being Lou’s sidekick, even if she knew she wasn’t just that to her.

“Can I?” she whispered again.

“You- uh-“ Lou looked her up and down, her body covered by the robe she hadn’t known the brunette borrowed from her. She smirked, thinking about how she too would often just grab some of Debbie’s clothes and not even give them back later.

“I know we’ve talked about it. It’s not that. I mean- I just can’t sleep. I’m probably reading this stupid book for the 20th time only because I can never fucking sleep. It’s hard, without…” Debbie’s eyes would start to get watery if she hadn’t known any better, feeling so vulnerable in front of her partner. But she felt grateful for Lou’s silly smile growing wider, and the pang of pity as well. Usually that would piss her off, make her feel like she was nothing, like people were always just trying to be nice to her out of politeness and not because they cared for her, but this was Lou. And she knew the truth whenever it came to Lou.

“Yes, c’mon. Leave the bloody book there.” Lou walked to where the brunette was sitting on the couch and helped her stand up, grabbing the book with her right hand and Debbie’s waist with the other. Debbie looked at her with guilt in her eyes.

“Lou, I…”

“Yeah?” she watched the blonde rub her eyes in a sleepy way before yawning and sticking out a hand to her in the most loving, Lou way possible.

“Nothing. Thank you.” she closed her brown cardigan tighter around her shivering body, taking Lou’s hand and walking upstairs to Lou’s room.

Lou let Debbie make herself at home as the brunette tucked herself in and waited for her on her side of the bed. Lou usually slept in the middle of the bed, but she didn’t mind this, at all. The room was a bit dark and had one big window that shone the night lights from the shore outside. Lou loved hearing the waves break inside her head and how the shadows coming from outside the window made living shadows on her walls, it always helped her fall asleep faster, but tonight she didn’t mind that either. This was one of those nights where Debbie was all she would think of. Touching her and having her scent all over her and the room, felt like she could stay like that forever, falling asleep in the brunette’s arms as she scared Debbie’s nightmares away.

She cuddled closer to her, feeling the Ocean sniff her neck as they held each other tight, and Lou covered both their bodies with the heavy white blankets.

“I think we forgot to turn off the lamp, Lou.” Debbie whispered as she felt the blonde run her fingers across her arms.

“What?” Lou glanced at her, confused, making Debbie flush at how cute her stupid little frown was.

“In the living room.”

“Oh. That’s okay, Debs. Just sleep, alright?” she kissed the crown of Debbie’s head and held her like that, letting Debbie get closer and closer. “And you never know, maybe Tam will wanna barge in in the middle of the night to try and fix your heel for you. She might need the light to see.”

“Lou.” Debbie warned, holding back a chuckle.

“Sorry. It’s true.” Lou laughed, turning her back to Debbie.

“Lou?” Debbie called again, almost too scared to speak up.

“Yeah, Debs?” she answered like a mother angry at her child, making them both laugh.

“I miss this.” Lou’s heart stopped, and she looked at those dark eyes facing her in the dark. She could barely see Debbie, but she knew every inch of that face and that woman even more than herself.

“You miss sleeping with me, Ocean? Well that’s fucking impossible because you’re always in my bed.” they shared a laugh and Debbie rolled her eyes.

“You know what I mean, Lou.”

“I do.” Lou could feel her heart break inside her chest like never before. They both knew what they felt for each other, and how they’d left things between them before Debbie went to jail, and they hadn’t walked so far from that point after she got out. Five years later. They just knew it was still there, all of it. The painful silence, the electric touches, the desperate exchange of looks in a crowded room. The longing.

But they had agreed on staying like this for a while and that was the plan the had to stick with no matter what. No matter how much they wanted to go home together after a party with the team and just jump at each other with kisses and teeth, no matter how bad they were in love with each other in a way that nothing else could ever live rent free in their minds like each other.

“I miss… sleeping with you.” Lou smirked, covering her face with her arm.

“We really had it all didn’t we?” the australian whispered.

“We still can.” Debbie said, almost like a plead.

Lou shook her head, lying with her back facing the ceiling and her elbows supporting her weight.

“We couldn’t figure it out back then, Debs. What makes you think we could now?” Debbie cupped her face, bringing it impossibly close to hers.

“We were young, Lou. And stupid.”

“Yeah, well-“ the blonde scoffed, thinking about a 19 year old Debbie Ocean kissing her for the first time. “We still are. Stupid, at least.”

“I wanna be stupid together.” her voice came out broken, her hands finding Lou’s above her brown locks. Lou smiled.

“You do?”

“Yeah. I really fucking do. I can’t be just friends. I wanna kiss you all the time and every fucking day and I wanna be able to tell people that I’m yours and you’re min-“

Lou’s lips met hers with a calm pace, both in a way of saying “please shut the fuck up” and “I love you more than you’ll ever know.”

“I wanna be stupid together, too.” Lou whispered, kissing her again, and again, and again, and again, until they were both finally deep asleep.

[oitommothetease]

Invisible String (14/15)

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Female reader (Modern AU)

Word Count: 2.4k words

Warning : angst, sad reader, angry reader, dumbass Bucky, Steve being likable for once, smartass Sam, reader finally having some friends, mention of assault, confrontation, drinking, fluff, Bec is Bucky’s sister - Rebecca

Unlike you, Bucky remembered everything. He could never forget that you were hurt because of him — tied to a chair for hours while he couldn't save you — crying on the bathroom floor as he held you. The only thing common in all of those instances was him. You had to go through shit because of him, and yet, you still didn't blame him. You wrapped your arm around him as if he wasn't the cause of your pain. It was clear that his past and the baggage that he came with didn’t bother you. In fact, you understood and accepted his trauma and still loved him. You didn't love him despite his baggage. No, you loved him with every bad thing he offered.

Bucky was sure you were delusional. No sane woman would want to be with the man who was responsible for her captivity, yet you snuggled closer towards him the moment this thought occurred in his head. And Bucky loved you more because of that, and he thought he wasn't physically capable of loving you more than he already did. Bucky knew you reciprocated those feelings, it was very obvious that both of you were a goner for the other. Nevertheless, those emotions were not voiced out loud in your relationship yet. And Bucky wanted it to stay that way.

Bucky decided to sneak out of your bed and house before you could wake up. He was aware it was cowardly of him to just leave without giving you an explanation. But if he stayed to explain, you would have asked him to stay, and he didn't have it in himself to tell you no. You were the ray of sunshine in his stormy life and he could never say no to you. You could ask him to get you the sun, and he would get it for you, even after knowing that it would kill him and the humankind in the process. He would still do it.

But what he couldn’t do was refuse you, so he would have to leave you instead.

***

You woke up a bit disoriented, unaware of the surroundings you were in. It took you a minute to process that you were in your own house and not held captive. Once you came back to your senses instinctively you called for Bucky. He held you while you slept the previous night, so he had to be out in the kitchen. When no response came back, you went out to check for him, only to be met with an empty house.

When you tried to contact him, Bucky was distant. He didn’t respond to your texts and your mind was telling you that something was wrong, but you shoved those thoughts sideways, hoping that maybe he was busy with work. But you both went through something traumatic, you needed him to be with you. If he were busy, he could have at least texted you.

Well, if he was going to ignore you, then you wouldn't be one of those people whose life revolved around their partner. You had a book to write and ambitions that didn’t involve him. 

Two hours later, when there was no word from him, you stared at the blank  screen on your computer. You weren’t unfamiliar with writer's block, but it had been months and you haven't written a single line since the incident in the club involving Rumlow. And now that you were alone with your thoughts, you started doubting everything. Should you have stayed in that corporate 9 to 5 job? You'd have a stable life and a fixed salary. Maybe you could have even got a promotion. Should you have filed a complaint against Rumlow? Bucky wanted you to, he even assured you the cops would be on your side, but you just weren't ready. You realized that by choosing to remain silent, you were sending a predator out in the world. He could do that to other people and you could have stopped it.

A knock on the front door interrupted your train of thoughts and you were grateful for the person on the other side. You assumed it was Bucky, he didn’t need to buzz in because he literally owned the building. Well, it could also be any one of his friends. Sam and Steve also didn't need permission . And the other day when Peter came by to give you your phone (you left it in the club), he didn't buzz in either. 

Seeing Wanda, Peter and Pietro on the door was a good change and God, you needed a change or else you'd go mad with self-loathing. 

“We brought pizza,” Wanda exclaimed, lifting the bag in her hand to show you.

You didn't say anything, just smiled at them thankfully. You were really delighted they were here. Not only that, but you didn't have many friends here, and you considered your work friends, your only friends. It was nice to see that they saw you as a friend too and not just someone they work with.

“And beers,” Pietro chimed in, raising the carton in his hand. 

You looked at Peter before teasing, “Is he even legal, guys?”

Seeing you joke around with them made Wanda happy. Between all the testosterone, she truly needed a female friend, and she was relieved to see you treating them as friends rather than colleagues. And she understood the trauma that must haunt you since your kidnapping. She was an empath and when you didn’t show up at work, she grew worried. 

Half an hour later, most of you were on your second beer. Pietro was on his fourth. That man was fast at everything he did. A movie was playing in the background that none of you paid attention to while everyone was settled on your couch. It wasn't a very spacious couch, you were all squashed into it, but it was too comfortable to leave. You were sitting in between Peter and Wanda, while Pietro was situated beside his sister.

You forgot how nice it felt to have friends and bitch about people to them.

“And just like that he was gone. I woke up and he wasn't there,” you told them, “Hasn't been taking my calls either.”

Pietro took a sip of his drink before saying, “What an ass!”

Wanda raised her bottle, nudging all of you to join her, and said, “Fuck men!” 

“Amen!” you agreed, Peter and Pietro nodded too.

“You should focus on your book,” Pietro advised, “Bucky is gonna regret if he loses someone like you, babe.”

The book. Your book. You couldn't tell them why you weren't focused on the book. It was still a lot to process, and you were not ready, so you nodded before chanting, “Fuck Bucky!”

***

“What are you doing here?” Sam questioned as he and his husband entered the  office.

“Last I checked, I own this place.”

Sam huffed, “I meant why are you here instead of her place, smartass?”

Bucky looked around to avoid the questioning gaze of both Sam and Steve. He hadn’t talked to Steve since the argument they had over you. Of course, they did discuss business as usual, but nothing related to their personal life.

 “She doesn't need me,'' Bucky murmured and looked at Steve. “You must be pleased to know that it's over.”

Bewilderment was clear on the faces of both the men because Bucky exhaled loudly before continuing, “I almost got her killed. It would be wise and safe for her to not be with me.”

Steve finally spoke, “Did she say that?”

When his best friend shook his head ‘no’, Steve sighed in exasperation. “You are an idiot.”

“Yeah, well, that's what you wanted, didn't you?” Bucky retorted, “For me to focus on work and not on her.”

 “I was clearly wrong, pal,” Steve raised his hand in exasperation as if it was obvious, “And I’m sorry for that.” 

“Well, it's over now.”

***

“Before I met Nat. I dated a girl who pretended to be gay,” Wanda scrunched her nose, remembering the awful memory.

“Oh yeah, weird Sallie,” Pietro smiled teasingly, “Did you guys know that when Wanda brought her home, she hit on our dad?”

 “No!” Both you and Peter cried out, stupefied at his words.

“Yeah,” Wanda outlined, “And on Pietro too.”

 “I mean, Mr. Barnes is not like this,” Peter brought the conversation back to Bucky and you sucked in a heavy breath. “I’m sure he had a good reason for doing all of this.”

“Seriously?” you were pretty drunk, but not drunk enough to talk about Bucky. You looked at Wanda and Pietro for support, but they shrugged their shoulders in a manner that said, ‘He's not wrong, though.’

You wanted to go to bed and sleep. But you knew they were right. Bucky would never hurt you intentionally, you knew that. “Do you guys know where he is now?”

***

Since trying to talk some sense into Bucky wasn't working, Sam and Steve retaliated back to talk about business.

“Clint is officially out of here,” Steve reported, “Torturing him would just create more ruckus. Rumlow is behind us because he wants his weapons in the government, and Clint would just be a casualty in all this shit. He has three kids.”

Sam huffed, “We told Laura. Her wrath would be worse for Clint than our fists.”

Bucky didn't say anything and just nodded. Steve could feel something was on Bucky's mind, wrapping his arms to his chest, he raised a brow towards his best friend.

“I’m just tired of all of this,” Bucky said sadly, “Is this what we left Rumlow for, pal? You have a kid at home, Wanda has a wife, I have ma and Bec and I haven't met them in years, in fear of someone following me. And now — Well, now I’ve lost the girl too."

Steve and Sam looked at their friend with sympathy. They knew the toll their work took on all of them. Hell, they had a four-year-old daughter at home, and could barely sleep at night, always terrified of losing their kid because of their job.

Sam was about to ask Bucky to suggest an alternative that would help all of them could to make it out of there and just work on the club and not some shady business. Suddenly, the office door flung open and on purpose, everyone’s hand reached for the gun in their waistband. But in walked you with a beer bottle in your hand and a pizza slice in another.

“JAMES BUCKY BARNES!” You exclaimed, your steps wavering a little as you walked towards him. Oh, and you looked royally pissed.

Instantly, Bucky was on his feet and making his way towards you, to hold you — to be near you. And before you could say anything, he was engulfing his arms around your waist, his head settled at the crane of your neck and you frowned. Okay, You did not expect that. You thought he would ignore you, and you would give him a piece of your mind before leaving.

Sober you would have asked him to have a mature conversation like adults, but tipsy you wanted to flip him off and leave. Your arms hung around your sides awkwardly, trying to understand the situation before finally pushing him away.

“You left me,” you spoke so softly that if Bucky wasn't so close, he wouldn't have heard it. “I needed you and you left me alone.”

Bucky’s heart broke at your words. He didn't consider how his rash decision would affect you. You were kidnapped by the person who assaulted you. Fuck, he cursed himself. He was supposed to be protecting you, not hurting you. You sounded so hurt that Bucky wanted to get on his knees and ask for forgiveness. He was so focused on your physical injuries, he did not even realize he was hurting you emotionally.

Steve cleared his throat, clearly uncomfortable to present. He interrupted and took his husband’s hand in his, “We’re going to go.”

Before they could leave, you shifted your attention towards Steve and pointed a finger at him. “Why do you hate me?”

Steve stammered, he didn't expect you to put him in a spot like this, but you had a tad more than necessary liquid courage in your system.

“Doll,” Bucky breathed, and you moved your gaze back towards him. Steve took the opportunity and left the room with Sam.

You were on the verge of tears by now — both of you were — Bucky wasn't a man who could voice his feelings, but with you, all of his armor came shattering down. With you — he would tell you his vulnerabilities and fears just so he could let you in. You meant so much to him that the fear of losing you blinded his sense of understanding. He realized that he acted immaturely and by doing so, he almost lost you.

“You hurt me,” Your voice wavered, the traitorous tears made their way down your eyes, and Bucky couldn't see you like that. Instinctively, he stretched his hands to wrap around you, but stopped, “Can I hold you?”

You sniffled and nodded, and Bucky engulfed you flush against his chest. After a while, you snaked your hands around his shoulder too, and a sob broke down from your throat.

He didn't remember how long he held you like this, but after a while, he picked you up and made his way to the couch. He stood before you and then slid one hand up to your cheek. Likewise, he brushed his thumb across your cheek. And then you slowly straddled his waist as you both settled down on the soft sofa. Bucky’s hands fell naturally to your hips to pull you closer.

“I love you, Bucky,” you whispered, once your tears suspended. You enveloped your arms around him and pressed your forehead against his.

Bucky didn’t know whether you meant it or not. You were pretty drunk. He hoped you did.

“I love you, doll,” he confessed as he kissed the crown of your head. He noticed that you were on the brink of sleep, your breathing even, and you looked so peaceful in his arms.

 He felt at ease — calm even with you in his arms and in that moment he decided he was never letting you go no matter what.

TAGS :  @bananapipedreams​ @akkinda10​ @rivers-rambles21​ @emmabarnes​ @valsworldofcreativity​ @boofy1998​ @marvel-3407​ @mybuck​ @priii​ @coffeebooksandfandom​ @ladydmalfoy​ @shaking-a-jar-of-bees @elizamalfoyy​ @maladaptivexxdaydreaming​ @sabrinathesimp

Taglist for future stuff.

[your-electric-boy]

For ao3 maybe you could write a fic with kaminari x tetsutetsu , maybe hanahaki disease or just unrequited love or even soulmate au. I dont have a specific plot just a lot of angst,the more the better

Word count: 1328

Description: Denki is in love with Tetsutetsu. His soulmate. Tetsutetsu is in love with Kendo. AKA Denki has fallen hard for Tetsutetsu, his only soulmate. Tetsutetsu has two soulmates and ends up falling for Kendou, not Denki.

AO3 link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/31032479

Warnings: Swearing, Implied/referenced cheating (let me know if i missed any)

Notes: I hope you like this anon! I’ve never written for this pairing so I hope it turned out ok! Also, I hope you don’t mind I give them a happy ending! How the soulmate thing works: Only people who have severed white strings can see strings, but the people who can see them are the ones who got hurt, not the ones who did the hurting.

                                         Severed white strings Denki first notices Tetsutetsu at the sports festival. It would be hard not too. His toned muscles, his strong quirk, his determination. Both his fight with Eijirou and his arm wrestling  match with the redhead had Denki blushing, a fact that was helpfully pointed out by Hanta.

“Which one of ‘em's making you a gay mess?”

Katsuki glares at him on his other side, making it clear that Eijirou is off limits. “Don’t worry Bakubro. It’s one hundred percent Tetsutetsu for me.”

Denki doesn’t think much of his little crush. Hell, he’s had a crush on every boy in his class! All of those went away, so this one would too. Right?

Plus, Denki had made a fool of himself and lost to the vines girl. There was no way Tetsutetsu would even be interested in him.

If only it was that easy. Eijirou and Tetsutetsu had become friends. That meant he’d eat lunch with them sometimes, hang out with them after school or train with them after school hours. (Them being Mina, Hanta, Eijirou and Denki. Katsuki conveniently couldn’t make it whenever the 1-B student was around.) Denki’s crush doesn’t go away. It gets worse. At this point, Denki is fully in love with this boy. Then Kendo starts to join them on their excursions. Next thing Denki knows, her and Tetsutetsu are announcing their relationship to the group.

Eijirou wraps an arm around Tetsutetsu’s shoulders, Mina pulls Kendo into a bone crushing hug and Hanta chuffs one of the silver haired boys shoulders. 

The only thing Denki can do is get up and run. He feels guilty of course, his friends are bound to be confused about his reaction, but he couldn’t help it. Tetsutetsu, the boy he is in love with, is dating Kendo. Now, he doesn’t have anything against Kendo, she’s very nice, but why? Why did Tetsutetsu have to date her?

Denki doesn’t even realize he’s having a panic attack until he feels someone’s heart beating under his hand. “Jesus christ Sparky. What’s got you all worked up?”

Denki blinks up at the blond boy crouching in front of him. “Bakugou?”

“Yeah. What the fucks going on?”

“It’s nothing. It’s not important.”

Katsuki rolls his eyes. “Like hell it’s not. Spit it out.”

“T-tetsutetsu. He’s dating Kendo.”

The explosive teen raises an eyebrow. “And?”

“And what? You want me to confess my feelings for a guy who’s already in a relationship with someone? Fine! I’m in love with him! I want to be the one getting to hold his hand and kiss him and hold him and-”

“Calm down or you’re going to have another fucking panic attack.”

Denki hadn’t even realized he was hyperventilating again. “So he’s dating knock off ponytail, so what? Just because he is doesn’t mean you can’t tell him how you feel.”

Katsuki holds up a hand at Denki’s protest. “I’m not saying you should have him cheat on her, but who knows. Maybe he’s poly or some shit.” Katsuki notices the funny look Denki is giving him. “What?” 

“What is that?” Denki points at a red string tied to Katsuki’s pinkie that Denki can’t even tell where it ends. Katsuki glances down. “What is what?”

“That string on your finger!”

“What string?”

“You can’t see it? Oh my god maybe I’m insane. Maybe my quirk has ruined my brain. May-”

Katsuki snaps his fingers in front of Denki’s face. The yellow blonde lifts his own right hand in the air. On his wrist is a white string with a severed end. He looks back at Katsuki’s hands. His right hand still has the red string, but his left one has a severed white string. “No way… My grandma was right.”

“Your grandma was right about what?”

“Soulmate strings. She was right about all of it. Red strings for soulmates you still have a chance with, severed white strings that represent broken soulmate relationships. I have a white one and you have one of each!”

“Back up. Fucking soulmates? And your string is broken?”

Denki nods. “Go see if shitty eyelashes’s string is broken too.”

Denki nods again before getting up and running in the direction where he left his friends. As he runs, he notes that Katsuki’s red string goes in the same direction. He finds a nice spot where he can observe his friends, but they can’t see him. With a small smile, he notices that the end of Katsuki’s string is connected to Eijirou’s hand. Eijirou also has another red string on his other hand. His gaze shifts to Mina who’s string is connected to the plain faced boy next to her. Then he dares to look at Tetsutetsu and Kendo. A red string connects the two, but on one hand, Tetsutetsu has a severed white string. Denki’s eyes burn. He’s lost his soulmate.

Denki joins Katsuki in avoiding the hangouts that Tetsutetsu and Kendo come too, knowing it’d be too painful for him to see them together.

Then, Tetsutetsu shows up outside the 1-A dorms when Denki is outside, and confronts him. “Kaminari? Why did you stop coming whenever I’m around?”

Denki looks into Tetsutetsu’s eyes. He takes a risk. “I stopped because it hurts too much to see you and Kendo together. Because I’m in love with you.”

Tetsutetsu’s mouth drops open. “You’re what?”

“I’m in love with you. I don’t expect you to love me back, but you deserve to know.”

The steel quirk user looks away. “I’m sorry Kaminari. I don’t feel the same way.”

Numbly, Denki nods. 

“If you wanted, I would kiss you. I think a kiss can reveal a lot. I would know if we had a chance if we did.”

Surprised, Denki nods. Because he’ll take whatever he can get, even if it’s a pity kiss. Tetsutetsu steps closer and gently cups Denki’s face. He leans down and presses a kiss to the blondes mouth. They stay kissing for another minute before Tetsutetsu pulls away, a guilty look on his face. “I’m sorry Kami. There’s nothing there for me.”

Denki nods, only letting his tears fall once the other boy is out of sight. 

---

It’s been six years since that kiss. Denki is still hopelessly in love with Tetsutetsu. Denki can still see the strings. Katsuki, Eijirou and Izuku have gotten together, Katsuki and Izuku having repaired their string. Izuku can’t see the strings anymore. Kendo and Tetsutetsu are still together.

Then one night, there is a knock on Denki’s apartment door. He opens it to reveal a teary eyed Tetsutetsu. “Can I come in?”

Denki lets him in, still confused. Tetsutetsu explains that he’d walked in on Kendo and Momo. Explains that he can see the strings now. Explains that he’d noticed Kendo pulling away from him over the past year or so, but hadn’t had confirmation until today.  Explains that he’s had feelings for Denki for a few years. “You have?”

“Yeah. I was just slow on the uptake in high school. And, if you still have feelings for me and will let me, I’d love the chance to prove to you that I love you.”

Denki gapes at him. “Sorry, I know you’re probably over me by now-”

Denki interrupts him by placing his hand on his face. “Tetsutetsu, I am still in love with you. I can’t immediately jump into a relationship with you though. We have to take it slow. Act like we’re high schoolers who’ve never dated anyone before.”

Tetsutetsu nods. “I can do that.”

Denki smiles, hands still on the other's face. “Good. Now I know people usually wait until at least the first date, but I wanna kiss you know.”

Tetsutetsu nods and wraps his arms around Denki’s waist, pulling him in. They kiss and it’s everything Denki has wanted it to be since his first year of high school. As they kiss, their strings reattach and slowly turn red.

They’re happy. It’s not perfect, but it’s close enough.

[laulink]

A.N : This volume is gonna be full of angst, I just know it, especially for Nuts and Dolts. They had too many good moments in these first 3 eps, it’s hiding something. So, I’m going to give into the angst... then give it a happy ending because I want to make this story into a fucking fairy tale and no one can stop me.

The wind was blowind way too strong to be natural. Ruby knew that. A few hours ago, seeing this power, feeling its raw strength would have amazed her, but the situation had changed. Oh, so much.

In front of her was Penny. Her beautiful, cheerful, kind, patient, funny, enthusiastic, intelligent, wonderful Penny. Turned into a lifeless doll by that mustached bitch, on fucking Ironwood’s orders. Ruby would have punched them both if they were in front of her. Her right hook had gotten pretty mean after Ozpin’s training and feeling these two bastards’ noses break under her fist would have been oh so satisfying.

But they weren’t here and Penny was the one facing her. Her eyes had turned red from the corruption in her systems, reminding her of Yang when she was angry and her mother, Raven, when she saw her for the first and last time at the battle of Haven. 

A familiar noise at her left alerted her just in time to dodge Penny’s blades and avoid being sliced in two. Her aura was low, it would have broken under the attack. Behind her, she heard Weiss talking to Pietro over her scroll.

“What do you mean you can’t access her systems ?! You did it just a few hours ago !

- Yes, when Penny was still functioning normally ! Whatever Ironwood and Watts have done to take control of her, it has blocked all remote accesses, I can’t do anything to break her out of it ! 

- There must be something we can do !” Blake screamed from her side, avoiding another of Penny’s attacks. Ruby semblanced her a bit farther away, out of Penny’s reach so they could take a breath while still listening to Pietro.

“I have tried everything ! I can’t get through to her ! This kind of control can only be broken from inside, either by connecting to Penny with a computer and running a counter program or getting Penny to break out of it herself. But I can’t do any of those things !

- What was that about getting Penny to break out of it ?” Ruby asked before ducking under yet another attack from Penny’s blades, semblancing behind her to try and cut the damn strings, and being pushed back by a blast of wind. Her ears were ringing, but she still managed to catch Pietro’s answer.

“Penny can break any form of control on her body. That’s something I made sure of when designing her. Earlier, in the operations room, she could have pushed me out if she had so desired. The same could be done here, but the program run to control her is complex. Watts really outdid himself ; without a strong stimulus, a mind breaking shock if you will, his connection to Penny will hold and she won’t be able to push him out.

- So what you’re saying is that we need to shock Penny into rebooting her brain ?” Weiss asked, disbelieving.

“Basically, yes. A strong enough emotion could do the trick ; there’s a reason people say that, under certain circumstances, their brains short-circuit. That’s what we need right now.”

Penny’s movements were getting more precise by the minute now. Watts was getting the hang of this, and Ruby wished he weren’t. If things kept going like this, they wouldn’t be able to avoid injuries, to them or Penny, for much longer.

“What can we do then ?!” she screamed in Weiss’ general direction. “What could possibly shock her enough to do that ?! We’re running out of time !”

Pietro was silent, probably thinking. Ruby felt someone’s hand on her shoulder and turned to see Nora looking at her, serious, but eyes sparkling in a way Ruby really didn’t like right now.

“I think you know exactly what we need to do, Ruby.

- No I don’t !”

But Nora’s cryptic words seemed to make it click for Blake, who’s ears perked up. She dodged a few more attacks from Penny, progressively getting closer to Ruby and Nora, who were retreating, protected by Weiss’ cover fire. When they were all close enough to talk without having to scream, Blake told Ruby :

“Maybe you don’t know, but you are what we need, Ruby. Or rather, what Penny needs.

- What does that even mean ?!”

Weiss seemed to catch on as well because she sighed loudly and gave Ruby a glare so withering that her leader could feel it even without seeing it.

“Come on, Ruby ! We need to inspire a strong emotion in Penny ! And we’ve all seen how you look at her ! Stop being a gay mess for two minutes and go get your girl !”

Ruby’s face turned as red as her cape. She turned around to face Weiss and deny, but Nora’s hammer deflecting an attack that would have otherwise turned Ruby into a hedgehog reminded her that she didn’t have the luxury to fight with her teammates. Instead, she used Crescent Rose to deflect Penny’s swords while screaming at them :

“Are you insane ?! Do you really think it’s the moment to play matchmaker ?!

- Actually Ruby,” Pietro spoke up, still on the scroll, “your friends’ suggestion is a good one. I believe that making your feelings known to Penny would provide a stimulus strong enough to break her out of Watts’ control. It’s worth a try.

- Have you lost your mind ?!

- No time to argue, Ruby !” Blake screamed while her clone was sliced in two where she was standing a mere second ago. “You have to try, now !”

She was right, they were at their limit : they wouldn’t hold much longer. Taking a deep breath to try and calm her racing heart, Ruby focused on Penny’s movements and semblanced her way between her blades, closer and closer until she was right in front of her and-

Materialising in front of Penny, Ruby screamed as she punched the girl, breaking her focus long enough to push her against a rock sticking out of the ground, trapping her with her body.

Taking Penny’s face in her hands with all the care and tenderness in the world, Ruby told her :

“I’m sorry Penny. I love you.”

Red eyes flicked back to green, then red, then green, then red again, almost too fast for Ruby to see. She was almost there, Penny was almost back, she just needed one last push... !

Letting her heart and instincts guide her, Ruby leaned up on her tiptoes and took Penny’s lips between her own in a deep, loving kiss, trying to convey all of her overwhelming feelings to the girl of her dreams. Her adoration for Penny, her happiness at seeing her again after so long, the warmth she felt whenever Penny smiled at her, whenever she talked to her, saw her face, the joy so enormous it felt as crushing as it was liberating when Penny hugged her or kissed her cheek... The love that invaded her entire being, unbridled and devastating, begging to be known, to be shown, unrelenting, whenever she so much as thought of Penny... She poured everything, her very heart, into this kiss...

... and almost broke it out of shock when she felt artificial lips start moving against her own and strong, gentle hands press against the small of her back, bringing her closer to Penny. 

She should have taken a step back, checked that Penny was really there, free, ask how she was feeling... but the moment felt so perfect, Ruby couldn’t resist it : she sunk deeper in Penny’s embrace, her hands moving forward and around the Maiden’s head to rest on the back of her neck, cradling her, keeping her close, as close as she could while she prayed this moment would never end.

Alas, the world wasn’t so kind as to let them in their little paradise forever. The two girls eased back, just enough for their lips to part, but still close enough for their noses to brush and their breaths to mingle. They locked eyes, silver and green, no trace of red to be found, and their lips shaped into twin grins, so wide their cheeks started hurting. Ruby couldn’t help it, she pressed her lips to Penny’s again, and again, and again, even though the contact barely counted as a kiss since they smiled too much to properly give one.

Penny’s arms tightened around Ruby’s waist, bringing her impossibly closer, pressed flush against her love. Having regained some of her composure, though tears shined at the corners of her eyes, Penny whispered against Ruby’s lips :

“Thank you Ruby. I love you too.”

Melting both from the embrace and the confession, Ruby responded with a loving smile and the sweetest kiss she could muster. As Ruby buried a hand in Penny’s hair to keep her close while she deepened the kiss, they both heard someone coughing loudly, reminding them they were not alone. Blushing, both girls jumped away from each other and turned to face their friends who were giving them very pointed -and smug- looks.

Weiss was the first to break the silence :

“When this war is over, I’m commissioning Blake to write a fairy tale about you two.

- No problem,” smirked Blake, “this story will write itself.

- “The Rose and the Maiden : tale of a fated love”. This will be a best-seller,” Nora promised.

As their friends kept chatting about the hypothetic book, Ruby and Penny shared a resigned, but happy glance. Without so much as a word, their hands sought each other out, their fingers intertwined and a feeling bloomed in their hearts : the certitude that, whatever would be thrown their way, they would overcome it together.

A.N : End ! I know that kisses in RWBY always lead to absolute tragedies, so I wanted to turn it around and have the tragedy be dealt with by a kiss. We are in a show inspired by fucking FAIRY TALES, God damnit ! Give me some true love kiss saving the day !

This was a bit rushed, but I hope you enjoyed !

[dutifullybitchypeach]

ACOSF FINAL THOUGHTS. 3/5

It was good. But it could have been EPIC. I think I got caught up in the hype and should have remained blissfully ignorant. Loved Nestas journey and her finding happiness. WELL DESERVED.

However lots of loose threads, ignored angst, rushed ending, pregnancy plot overshaowed a lot - 2 chapters wasted!

It was Nestas book with Cassians POV to balance. It was interesting to read how skewed, almost backwards it was the way Nesta saw things. Like the IC behaviour/comments at times to her was counter acted then with Cassians interpretation. Really showed her low her self esteem was.

I know it's Nesta letting go and being happy with herself and I believe SJM wrote it this way to be deliberately CLEAR that the IC are NOT perfect and are 100% capable of being total pricks. BUT that they are not held accountable for their actions the same way Nesta is, was frustrating. Cold hard facts: Nesta never murdered/stole/lied/tortured/assaulted anyone. She was a bum and a drunk who spewed hurtful shite. An angry bitch. However the only thing she ever wilfully killed was the King of Hyburn at the NC's request. The level of disgust from Amren/Rhys/Mor directed at Nesta in the beginning was uncomfortable to read and didn't sit well with me.

I'll have to read it again but I was not satisfied . Nestas character arc started half way through ACOWAR. She stepped up when they needed her to.

Feyre agreeing despite her experience in Spring was a step backwards for me. Then again it's exactly what Nesta needed. Cruel to be kind. And Feyre had Nestas back repeatedly throughout the narrative.

Loved Nestas story all of it, training, friendships, self love, etc etc. Gwyn and Emerie ❤ All epic. And she's well...more interesting! Detail on Cassian killing all those monsters, scene in the big, wow so good.

Feysand overkill or perhaps Rhys overkill. Sorry SJM but you need to pull back.

Nessian happened the way I thought it would. That Cassian isn't perfect is normal. His heart is Nestas, it's pretty clear. Smut scenes, I've read better sorry !!! Intensity was not the same as previous books. More sexy and less crude for me. Missed Cassians swagger but I guess we are in his head, and he's a big cuddly insecure bear. With a big d**k.

More thoughts (in my humble opinion).

Feysand pregnancy DRAMA. Unnecessary. Keep it, just don't let it happen the way it did. I've already said I thought the sacrifice should have been for Gywn/Emerie and there is a simple tie in IMO (see previous posts). Or perhaps Cassian actually stabbing himself rather than hurting Nesta with the Queen. But I get SJM and 'losing' her power, that much power just undermines the remaining plot for next few books. Nesta could just blast them all to hell. And she stole it in anger and has let it go with love. Growth! She is clearly still hella powerful. We don't know the half of it.

For me the above was the most irritating. The ending squeezed in. And I like Feysand. But Nesta healing with Feyre needn't have been so convoluted. Or drastic. More private, perhaps a real angsty, tense conversation and confession. They didn't discuss anything.

The last few chapters too much went on...important moments; first females to win The Rite, sidelined. Accepting the mating bond, sidelined. WTF is Nestas power now, sidelined. Queen dead, sidelined. An ILLYRANIAN FEMALE KICKING ASS sidelined. I mean Christ that was Cassians goal! And nothing. NOTHING. Not even a handshake.

Rhys. It was plain uncomfortable. But someone mentioned SJM deliberately wrote Rhys that way for this book and that's true. In the Feyre POV she mentions "two mates" the reasonable one and the asshole so that, I think, is telling. He's def more HL and pulls rank in this book with everyone.

Rhys clearly witnesses Nestas trauma from her nightmare but there is no recognition with Nesta. Not a peep. Yet he clearly feels massive regret. Is that for our benefit, the readers? That at least we know. Don't hate on Rhys. (I like Rhys btw)

I'd have liked a full circle scene where they are back in THAT sitting room admiring baby Nyx and Nesta just says a few things. Cooly and calmly. She's happy they intervened, but for all their wisdom and years of living it left a lot to be desired. Nothing too crazy, just a few delivered lines, Nesta style.

Felt Nesta lost a little of her fire. But maybe you see it more from the others POV. Though they always provoked her and it was a defence mechanism. And she was a bitch at times. With others outside the IC it's clear she is not like that. Make what you will of that.

I know SJM doesn't like to over detail things but a moment with Feyre/Nyx/Nesta alone would have been nice.

The sisters never meeting Gwyn or Emerie. A scene like that would have been powerful.

Amren is as Mor rightly said is a "cranky old bastard". And "Welcome back to the Night Court Nesta Archeron" screamed, now that you've scrubbed up love come on home. I don't know. Amren was clearly done with Nesta she was the one that stood by her the most and got sick shit of her. All Amren can command is respect now and Nesta really wanted hers, possibly the most.

Can I make a point about people harping on about slut shaming. Amren made one catty observation, that Nesta would ride almost anything. No other character mentioned it. Not one. And Nesta enjoyed her bed partners, she refers to some of it (threesome!). There was zero shame. And SJM hates slut shaming. So stop. It's not a thing.

I'm nitpicking but there was a lot of hurt just left off. Perhaps that was the point. SJM was like, fuck it, Nesta doesn't want to feel that anger or resentment anymore she wants to live and be happy. She's found inner peace with herself and those that matter most. Me wanting justification for how they treated her at timea is not the point!!! Lol.

The painting, that stood out for me in ACOFAS. It hurt to read it. Maybe Feyre had nothing to paint of Nesta. They didn't talk. Share thoughts. I think Feyre asking Nesta herself to show her memories of The Rite so she could paint it would have had more impact. But it read very plainly like now you've earned your spot here...or I like you now or something. She was deliberately not there, perhaps until she wanted to be. Or finally accepted and embraced life with the IC. It was an unnecessary detail that just fueled the Feysand halo (again I like Feysand).

Nesta made those weapons therefore they are hers. Amren is power hungry. Rhys seems happy to hand them over. High King drama, I can see it. It could happen.

It's clear that Nesta didn't want to leave the NC, therefore she had to fall in. People have a problem with 'who's boss' but we've only ever had court dynamics from Rhys/Feyre POV. And they are the top dogs in the NC. We are going to have to get used of seeing Feysand make decisions from the outside. It's THEIR court. And to be fair, Feyre always had Nestas back.

And yes I believe you always have a choice with Rhys. I know some scoff at that.

Rhys kneeling to Nesta further proves our gal is a Queen. Feyre is the only one he's ever bowed to. SJM gave us that moment for Nesta and we will have to be content despite he's questionable aggressive behaviour. He clearly has issues with family given his past.

Enjoyed seeing a bit of Elaine. Finally. And Nesta delivered some home truths! Elaine needs to find some backbone. Really looking forward to her story. Go mad SJM!

Feysand POV should have been the fallout of Rhys keeping baby drama from Feyre. Now THAT I would want to hear. And perhaps Feyre saying to Nesta I'm "secretly glad you told me".

Eris I always found super interesting. It's clear to me he knows Mor is gay. Him helping her would have meant she was trapped in the AC. 'Rejecting her' allowed Rhys and Co to save her and to have freedom. She screwed him by keeping it secret. His arc will be with Lucien I think.

Az and Elaine not for me. Sorry. I'd like Lucien to find some happiness. I've spoken of this before see other posts. Az tortures people for a living, he has serious issues.

I've already spoken about Mor....remember her lol. Where is she! Ha! Actions speak louder than words with Mor. Winnow please my mate is being a dick, teach me to dance, dress shopping. But I guess she's Feyres friend, Nesta has hers. Nesta feeling ashamed as to how she treated Mor, will be interesting to see how Mor feels about that oul time when I was such a hypocrite, lol, what I really meant was....

There are 2 more books and a novella so who knows. Nessian ain't over.

Going to look forward to the fanfiction!

Thanks SJM.

[coffeecakefanfics]

Golden Dandelions Azula x FemReader

@creepytoes88 this one’s for you 

Song: Golden Dandelions by Barns Courtney

Warnings:Fluff, Angst, THIS FIC IS GAY IF I SEE ONE HATEFUL COMMENT IM GONNA STAB SOMEONE IN THE THROAT!!!

REQUESTS ARE OPEN!!

If there was one thing no one could deny it was that princess Azula was hot.  She was hot headed, hot tempered, hot to look at. She was a fire hazard to most people.  Everyone was scared of her, everyone except (Y/n).  The two had struggled to find peace at first.  Classroom fights were common between the two, but who would have thought that the two most hot headed kids would be friends.  The pair would practice their bending in the castle for hours, both getting way too heated for either ones good. 

Azula had Mai and Ty Lee over for a “sleep over”.  The trio laid sprawled across the princesses room.  Ty Lee draped herself over the bed while Mai hunkered on the floor at the foot surrounded by blankets and pillows.  Azula sat in the window seat over looking the garden. 

“So Mai how are things with Zukooo?” Ty Lee teased. 

“I don’t know, I mean he’s nice,” Mai shrugged nonchalantly.

“Oh please you two were SO bugging at each other”

“Were not” 

The two bickered.  Azula clutched the pillow tighter to her stomach.  Was what she felt. . .  wrong? She felt guilt overcome her body.  No one else hid their relationship, so why did they?  Why did they share secret brushes and light kisses.  

“Azula?” Mai broke her train of thought.

“I’m sorry did you say something?” she replied snappily

“Azula are you, are you crying?!” Ty Lee bolted up on the bed.

“What? No I don’t cry,” Azula huffed and turned to look out of the window”

“Azula talk to us”

“Yeah you haven’t said anything to us for a week, is everything okay?” Mai and Ty Lee poked and prodded into her mind.  Her head swan.

“I don’t feel well,” the princess held her head in her hands.  Her face went white, her fingers felt hot, but why? 

“Azula please don’t shut us out, we’re your friends” Mai begged.  They were her friends but they weren’t HER.  They didn’t smell like sweet fruits and their hands weren’t as soft against her cheek. Their eyes didn’t look at her with admiration like she did.  

“Leave me alone please,” Azula shook her heaqd.

“Azula-” Mai started

“I said leave me alone!” Azula yelled throwing her hand out accidentally sending flames at her friends.  Mai and Ty Lee looked at the princess shocked.  They gave each other a look and nodded.

“Talk to us when you’re ready,” The girls packed and left.  The room fell dark, the only light was cast from the moon.  Azula threw a robe on, keeping the hood over her head.  She walked out to the field, no THEIR field and laid on the grass.  She felt the blades run under her fingers.  She plucked a single dandelion and twirled it in her fingers. 

“You shouldn’t pick those you know”

There she stood, in a white silk gown that fell to her ankles.  The fabric clung to her every curve.  Her hair was laid gracefully, a crown of dandelions sat on her head. She looked ethereal. She almost glowed. 

“You look like a princess,” Azula stood up and took her hands.

“My love, don’t get soft on me now,” (Y/n) smiled softly.  Her face lit up but dropped when she saw the tears falling down her lovers cheeks.

“Oh Zula, honey no, don’t cry. Why are you crying?” Her hands were soft and gentle as she held Azula’s face.

“I regret keeping us a secret, I should have screamed it to the world.  I’m so sorry,” She cried.  Her walls and fire crumbled before her.  “You deserved to be shown as the prize that you are.  You deserved better,” Azula sobbed.

“Shh, come her loves,” (Y/n) held Azula tightly, She lowered the both of them to the ground and stroked Azulas hair. 

“You know, I loved this side of you, Your real side.  Your human side,” she got a chuckle from the other girl.  Azula pulled back.  Her face was red and her eyes were puffy.  

“DO you remember when I first showed you this place?” (Y/n) asked.  How could Azula forget.

(Y/n) threw blast after blast at Azula, who never let her guard down, but her breath was getting unsteady.  

“You’re weak” (Y/n) called

“I’m still stronger than you,” Azula fired back

“Never in a million years,” (y/n) smirked and sent a shockwave of fire at the girl.  Azula dodged but didn’t see the second wave coming.  She was knocked to the ground.  (Y/n) ran over, jumping with excitement.

“I told you!” she yelled.

“Shut up,” Azula rolled her eyes. (Y/n) laid next to her in the flowers. Azula rolled onto her side.  (Y/n) turned her head to look at her love.  Her raven hair had fallen from the bun and fell down her shoulders.  Her cheeks were red from the fight, lips swollen.  (Y/n) pushed Azula back onto the ground and cupped her cheek softly.  She caught her amber eyes before kissing her.  Azulas lips were always soft, like velvet against hers.  Every muscle in Azulas body relaxed as (Y/n) led her in a kiss filled with nothing short of love and passion.  (Y/n) trailed her lips down Azula’s jaw and to her neck.  Azula let out a soft sigh and laced her fingers in (y/n)’s hair.  A hand tugged her robes up.

“How could I forget, I lost my virginity to you here,” Azula actually smiled at the memory.

“And what did I tell you?

“You wanted to be buried here, surrounded by the golden dandelions.  You wanted to be apart of a piece of beautiful earth,” Azula turned her gaze away.

“Zula, listen to me.  I waited for this moment all of my life.  To love you but it’s over.  You have to let me go,” (Y/n) pleaded.

“I can’t do that!” Azula snapped yanking away from her girlfriend. 

“Azula please, I’m gone now, I can’t be here with you like this forever.  I can only come to your world on special occasions. Azula you can’t keep coming here and staring at that fucking rock.  You need to sleep, you need to eat, you need to move on, to love another,” (Y/n) reached out for her.

“I can’t just forget you like that,” Azula looked at her. The waterfall of tears already tumbling down her face.

“My Love I never said forget me.  I don’t want you to forget me, I want you to move on.  Keep our locket safe, keep our memory alive but please my love I can’t bear to see you in pain,” (Y/n) placed a phantom kiss on her loves head. “Talk to your friends, they need you just as much as you need them,” The girl smiled. 

“Now come,” she sat on the ground and patted her lap.  Azula laid her head on the girls lap, feeling her fingers brush through her hair.  Mai and Ty Lee approached Azula as the sun began to rise.  They both caught sight of the stone

Here lies (Y/n) (Y/l/n) the best soldier the fire nation has ever seen May she rest in peace amongst the golden dandelions. 

Azula rolled over and looked up at her friends. “I’m ready to talk”

[shyvioletcat]

Running out in the middle of the night to get a food item they’re craving. For Rowaelin

Here’s the last prompt for my 900 follower prompt-a-thon! I just want to say thank you to everyone who submitted a prompt for it and I’m sorry I didn’t get to all of them, but I will at some point. 

Also thanks for reading! THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR READING! I hope it all gave you a bit of an uplift and a laugh if you needed it (except for that one angst prompt that snuck in there).

I thought I’d finish with our favourite firefighter. This one is set in my Striking Matches AU which you can find here: MASTERLIST

~~~~~

Rowan felt a poke to his cheek that stirred him from where he’d fallen asleep on the couch. It took another poke for him to open his eyes.

“Rowan, wake up.”

There was enough urgency in Aelin’s voice that it had Rowan sitting up from where his head had been resting in her lap, his head spinning a little.

“What, what is it?” He asked rubbing his eyes.

“I need you to run down to the store for me,” Aelin said.

Rowan opened one eye and tapped his phone, it was almost 9 o’clock. He groaned. Work had kicked his ass today, they’d had two call outs, both of which had been physically demanding and then Lorcan had insisted they all train, claiming they had been slacking off since the holidays. It was true, but Rowan didn’t have to like it. He’d fallen asleep watching whatever they had been watching lulled to sleep by Aelin playing with his hair.

“What do you need?” Rowan asked, looking over at her. Her hand was running over her 7 months pregnant belly.

“We need some celery.”

Rowan blink again, his eyebrows raising. “You hate celery,” he said simply, really hoping this was a joke.

“But I need it,” Aelin insisted.

“Am I dreaming?”

“No, Buzzard you’re not dreaming. I have a desperate craving for celery,” Aelin said then looked him straight in the eye. “Or should I say we.”

Rowan groaned rubbing at his face. “Aelin, love. It’s getting late.”

“I’m really sorry, but your child is currently assaulting my ribs with their appendages. You don’t get a choice,” Aelin said matter of factly.

“Why is it always my child when they are doing something bad?” Rowan sighed.

“Should I really answer that?” Aelin fixed him with a look.

“I’m just going to ask one more time,” Rowan said, his irritation evident. “I’m leaving the apartment when it’s getting late, going up and down six flights of stairs and out to a store to get you celery. Which you hate.”

“Yes, Mr Grumpy Face, your very pregnant wife doesn’t want to climb all those stairs herself or risk slipping on some ice, so I’m asking you to go get it because its what the baby wants,” Aelin explained to him.

Rowan sighed again, this time out of resignation, and stood up and stretched. “I’m going, I’m going.”

~~~~~

Rowan shrugged off his jacket by the door. Even though it was the end of February winter was still very much hanging around with no plans of leaving. But climbing the six flights of stairs up to their apartment had warmed him up, he had no idea how Aelin was still doing it basically every day.

His wife was exactly where he’d left her, sitting on the couch and rubbing her stomach.

“I got it,” Rowan said before she could ask. Aelin grinned.

He went straight to the kitchen to wash and cut up the celery. Aelin just kept watching the TV while he did all that. Sure he was a little annoyed at going out in the cold for celery of all things, but the smile on Aelin’s face had been worth it. He had finished chopping up the celery when Aelin called out to him.

“Hey, could you bring the Nutella in with you?”

Still very tired Rowan went on auto pilot and grabbed the jar form the cupboard. He didn’t think anything of it until he handed Aelin the plate of celery and the Nutella. “Here.”

Rowan just stared as Aelin twisted off the lid of the jar and picked up a celery stick.

“What are you doing?” He asked.

“I’m eating,” Aelin said.

“You’re not dipping the celery in the Nutella, are you?” Rowan asked.

“That’s the plan,” she said matter of factly.

Rowan couldn’t help it, he just blurted out, “No way, that’s disgusting.”

“I’m not in charge here,” Aelin said and he watched as she dipped the celery in the hazelnut spread and took a bite, eating it without hesitation.

Rowan shook his head. “I’m going to bed.”

Aelin dipped the celery again, “Alright I’ll be in soon.”

“Don’t bring that in with you,” Rowan called over his shoulder.

Aelin laughed.

“And brush your teeth before you come to bed, I don’t want you kissing me with that weird-ass combination,” Rowan said from the door way.

Aelin laughed so hard she actually snorted. “Okay, don’t get your feathers all ruffled. Thank you for getting me my weird-ass craving.”

Rowan chuckled. “You’re welcome, Aelin. Anytime.”

~~~~~

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[moonlight-breeze-44]

Jalec Secret Santa for @finditagain24

Hi, Lau! You mentioned that you liked angst with a happy ending, canon development, pining, and longing so I thought you might like this little thing <3 I hope that you do, and happy holidays!!

watch the sunset in your eyes

Read on AO3

When Jace first came to the New York Institute to live with the Lightwoods, Alec regarded him as another Isabelle; a charge, someone for him to protect, despite the fact that Jace proved on his very first day that he was more than capable of protecting himself.

It didn’t matter to Alec; Jace reminded him of himself, in ways that made Alec want to rip off the cocky mask Jace always wore and meet the broken boy underneath. Jace was something, a new kind of challenge that Alec had never met before - utterly broken and flawed, but in that kind of beautiful way that Alec liked to lose himself in.

Years passed, and before long, Jace & Alec were in battle together, fighting side-by-side. They worked so well together, so steadily, that Alec thought he might have known even before Maryse cornered him in his room and told him the political benefits of having a parabatai like Jace Wayland. The truth was, Alec and Jace were already connected; the parabatai bond would only symbolize what was already there.

But Alec would’ve had to be blind not to notice the way that Jace’s eyes shone in the light, or how he managed to look a little like a lost puppy when his straw-blonde hair fell over his eyes, or the fact that his smirk after he’d killed a demon made Alec’s heart skip a beat. Alec noticed, and he knew - of course he knew.

Alec also knew that Jace didn’t share his feelings or his thoughts about the possibility of being bonded; he was all too happy, excited, and practically giddy at the idea of having a parabatai. Alec knew there was no way Jace was having the same internal crisis that he was, and he hoped to the Angel that the other boy wasn’t aware of it.

That fear of awareness was another thing that scared Alec - being parabatai would mean that he and Jace would be deeply connected on an emotional and physical level, and Alec wasn’t sure he wanted to know what that meant. Being gay wasn’t heard of in the Clave, and those that were guarded that secret so fiercely that it was rare for anyone to ever find out. Alec knew enough about Clave politics by the time he was thirteen to be afraid of Jace’s reaction, if he were to find out Alec’s secret.

Alec laid in his bed well after midnight that first day, when it was first announced that he and Jace would make a good parabatai pair, his hands clenched together tightly. He couldn’t sleep. It was starting to seem like he could never sleep these days. Jace slept on the other side of him, his blonde hair a golden halo on the pillow. He looked so peaceful, so unlike the brash warrior Alec knew in daylight. Alec swallowed hard. He looked like an angel. He looked like an angel, and Alec felt like a demon.

~ ~ ~

In the end, Alec knew he had to become parabatai with Jace, regardless of his own feelings. His mother would disown him if he backed out of the ceremony, and he couldn’t bear to disappoint Jace when he looked at Alec like he’d hung the stars in the sky.

Alec felt like he was going to throw up when they stepped into the ring of fire, but the look that Izzy gave him, so complicated and supportive and full of love, made him grit his teeth and lift his chin to meet his future parabatai’s eyes. He could do this. For his mother, for Izzy, for Jace. He could do this.

When Jace grabbed Alec’s arm, it sent a wave of heat through Alec and made his head swim. He swallowed hard. He had to do this.

The words, when they left Alec’s lips, felt oddly right, oddly comforting in some way. He’d thought they would taste bitter, like acid, but they fell from Alec’s mouth with the ease of his baby sister’s name.

“For whither thou goest, I will go. And where thou lodgest, I will lodge.”

Jace’s voice soothed the frayed edges of Alec’s nerves, and he found himself wishing the fire wasn’t quite so bright. He wanted to be able to look at Jace, really look, memorise the lines of his cheekbones and the soft suns in his eyes.

“The Angel do so to me, and more also, if aught but death part thee and me.”

The overlap of their voices made Alec want to cry, made him want to reach for Jace and never let go, but instead, he reached forward and drew the parabatai rune on Jace. When he felt the matching burn on his own hip, he had to bite his lip so hard that it drew blood to stave off the tears that threatened to fall.

There was no going back now.

~ ~ ~

The main difference between Jace and Alec, in behaviour and in personality, was that Jace wasn’t afraid to take what he wanted. In that respect, he was practically fearless. And Alec knew that Jace had fears, but they were things whispered under the cover of darkness to him and him alone. Jace’s fears were rooted deep in his childhood, and they would have taken years for anyone else to uncover. Alec knew he was the only person to ever hear them, maybe the only person who ever would.

When it came to romance, however, Jace was fearless. He was so fearless that it took Alec’s breath away and made his heart stutter a step.

Alec wasn’t blind, but when it came to Jace, he tended to view the world through glasses tinted with self-loathing. He could feel Jace’s desire sometimes, knew that the other boy wanted something, but he had never considered that it might be him that Jace wanted.

They had been parabatai for nearly a year before Jace grew tired of waiting for Alec to realise what was happening, and made his intentions very, very clear.

“What is it?” Alec asked, entering the training room and letting the door fall shut behind him. “You said you needed to talk to me?”

Jace grinned, sharp like a cat that knew it was getting what it wanted. “Well, maybe talking wasn’t the best word to use.”

With that, Jace strode forward and slammed his lips to Alec’s, punching the breath from his parabatai and sending his heart into a spiral Alec knew it would never recover from.

Jace’s lips on his, in fact, were making Alec think he would never recover from Jace, period.

He’d dreamed about this moment for ages, and yet, the real thing blew past even the most insane of Alec’s fantasies. The feeling of Jace’s lips on his, of Jace surrounding him and pressing close to him and guarding him like he was something to be loved, something to be protected, made Alec dizzy. His hands found Jace’s hair, tugging at the golden blonde strands like they could somehow meld their bodies even closer together. Alec sighed against Jace’s lips and felt Jace respond in kind.

Halfway through their kiss, it hit Alec that he was kissing Jace, and he felt his knees begin to buckle. Jace, almost as if he’d expected this, backed Alec up against a wall and wrapped his arms around his parabatai’s waist, keeping him upright. Alec felt tears pool in his eyes. It shouldn’t be like this. He should be the one taking care of Jace, not the other way around. But he couldn’t deny that, after so long of taking care of other people, it felt good to be taken care of.

When finally they pulled apart, gasping for air, Jace’s eyes were bright, and the grin on his face was something softer than Alec was used to seeing on him. He smiled, too, almost shyly. This was new territory for him. He’d wanted, he’d dreamed, he’d even wished, but he had never thought that Jace would love him back, that Jace would feel for him what Alec felt for Jace. It almost felt like a miracle, like a gift from Raziel even though Alec knew he didn’t deserve it.

“Stop,” Jace whispered, pressing his forehead to Alec’s. “I can hear you thinking. Stop it.”

“Sorry,” Alec muttered, his cheeks flaming pink.

Jace shook his head, smiling a little. “You don’t have to apologise. I just don’t want you to overthink this like you do everything else.”

Alec opened his mouth to defend himself, but Jace raised an eyebrow at him, and the unspoken ‘You know I’m right’ was enough to make him close it again.

“You know this is forbidden, right?” Alec mumbled, avoiding Jace’s eyes. “We’re not, we’re not...we’re never supposed to do this. It’s against the Law.”

“Rules are meant to be broken,” Jace replied, grinning, and Alec sucked in a deep breath, frustrated. Jace could act like this meant nothing all he wanted, but Alec knew what they were risking.

“If anyone finds out - ”

“They won’t,” Jace reassured him, and his voice had lost some of its flippantness. Alec was still unconvinced. The Clave would consider them traitors if they were found to be in a relationship with each other. They could be de-runed. They could lose everything that they had ever loved, and all for what might be a quick fuck to Jace.

“You’re not,” Jace growled, and Alec flushed. He hadn’t realised he had spoken out loud.

“Alec, look at me,” Jace demanded, and Alec lifted his eyes to meet the other boy’s. As always, the golden orbs made his breath catch in his throat, but this time, there was more. It was like peering into a looking glass - the same feelings that Alec harbored for Jace were reflected back in Jace’s eyes.

“You’re my parabatai,” Jace said, and his fingers found Alec’s, tangling together in the space between their bodies. “You could never be just, just a fling to me, Alec.” There were tears in his eyes now, and he looked so hurt that Alec wanted to take all of his words and stuff them back into his mouth until he could erase that look from Jace’s face. “You mean so much more than that.”

“I feel the same way,” Alec said, exhaling with relief. “I just...are you sure you want to do this?”

Jace ducked his head and pressed another kiss to Alec’s lips. “I’ve never been more sure about anything in my life.”

The tears from before spilled over, and Alec bit his lip, trying to stem the flow. Jace made a small, wounded sound in the back of his throat and pressed a soft kiss to Alec’s temple, wiping away his tears with the pad of his thumb. Alec choked on a sob, sagging forward into Jace’s arms. Jace caught him easily, holding his parabatai close. Alec couldn’t be sure, but he thought Jace was crying, too.

When Alec went to bed that night, it was with the scent of Jace on his clothes, the taste of Jace on his lips, and a smile on his face - for the first time in a very, very long time.

[reawritesthings]

my heart ✿ kiara cerrera ✿

summary: unlike you, kiara was accepted for being gay and welcomed you with open arms, after your parents get suspicious of you spending time together you call it off leaving kiara with a broken heart. 

Gif by @rudypankows

based on the song ‘my heart’ by christopher

words: 2.2K

warnings: mention of homophobia and angst. 

a/n: if you ever feel what reader is going through just know that you aren’t alone and be proud of who you are. If you ever need to talk or anything, my dms are always open for you guys. i hope i wrote this professionally. 

so tell me how to find another you, baby, i've looked underneath the stars

As night hit the blue haze of day to reveal the stars. Kiara always felt that this was a sign of another day of broken pieces. Like an old photograph, Kiara couldn't accept the rugged lines that interfered with her heart. The wind blew through her curly locks as she memorised each word you spilled, each laugh and worst, the thing she loved the most about you, your forest green eyes that sent anyone to a home of reassurance. 

You warned Kiara, you told her that this longing train of love would stab you both in the back. Without any warning, Kiara felt a streak of light coming from the skies above. The winds gushed through her skin forming shivers to run down her spine. 

She was lost, lost in the depth of her own heart that stopped beating the minute you left her in the moonlight. Afaird of telling yourself, admitting who you really are made Kiara wonder why the world was against them. Loving another human shouldn't have to come with harm, hate and dishonour. Regardless, of your gender or ways to your heart shouldn't interfere with the greatest force on his earth, love.

Kiara doubted herself, she couldn't breath knowing you were with someone else, in someone else's arms that weren't made to hold you. Kiara's hand gripped the long grass that trapped her in a neutral position, forcing her eyes to absorb the stars that weren't shining like they did. 

She did look again, looked for someone to fill her void of heartbreak that you created with words that weren't meant to praise you. Her friends introduced her to many different Tourons but, they weren't you. 

She looked for another you, another shilloute that match the curves you embraced. A laugh that could light a whole tree of lights when power is missing. A soft voice of reassurance when she felt she didn't belong. A touch that could melt away any evil that lured their way into her life, a song that would emphasis the love that the two of you shared. 

Kiara's eyes closed, letting the painful memories possess her mind with lurking thoughts that never knew could be her worst enemy. If another you was out there, someone in the streets or the big city, a light will guide her but living on this side of North Carolina, you'll be lucky to get a decent night sleep.

you threw me in the deep end, without a fucking reason

You've been acting off with Kiara all week, dodging her calls, lying about being busy. You hated it, you wanted to run into her safe haven but, the thunderstorms blocked your path. The lighting wasn't agreeing with your love, nor was your parents.

Coming from a family, a religious one where love was only acceptable for the male and female made you feel trap in your own home, where you should feel the most safest. The countless times your parents have lectured you about finding a boy, was barbaric. They didn't interest you, you wasn't fascinated by their witty attitude or their penises. 

You were curious, always have been. You hated being unsure of your own identity, afaird that people won't speak to you, or even look at you. Meeting Kiara that fear automatically disappeared, she made you feel accepted, and loved. Her own family welcomed you with open arms, they were proud that their daughter found happiness. Why couldn't yours? 

Lazily around in your room, flicking through the endless pictures of Yourself and Kiara a knock startled you, quickly closing your phone. 

"It's me." Kiara's voice smoothly entered the room, filling your body will excitement yet pain. 

"W-what are you doing here?" You stuttered out as Kiara welcomes herself into the room, sitting on the edge of your bed. 

"You have been avoiding me? Why?" Kiara was always straight to the point, she didn't use excuses. If she wanted something, she would get it. If something was on her mind, she would tell you regardless if your feelings were hurt. 

"I haven't? I've been busy with my family.." You lied as your nose twitched. Kiara rolled her eyes. She wasn't stupid, she figured you out in a matter of seconds. Your nose only twitched when you were lying, even though you hated how smart she was of made you love her even more. 

"Don't lie. I know you, you may think I don't but I see you, baby girl." Kiara grinned as she knew that nickname was one of your weaknesses. 

"Sh. My parents can hear you." You spat, pulling her closer to you as you didn't want your parents to hear the conversation nor see her. 

"What's going on?" Kiara's playfulness died down as she looked at you. She could feel the tension in your eyes as she slowly trace your arm, giving you that reassurance that you wished your parents gave you. 

"I-I I can't do this anymore. We, Us, we can't see each other anymore, Kie. I can't disappoint my parents. They suspect something and I can't let them know about me." You breathed out, letting that out was burdening you all day as you didn't know the right way to say how you were feeling. 

Kiara was taken back a little, she wasn't expecting those bullets to hit her. She didn't know how to even reply or react. "Baby girl... I understand that. Your parents will come around, 

"Kiara, I'm being serious. We can't do this anymore, I don't love you. I don't know how I feel, I feel like I'm drowning in my own mind and I can't seem to swim. Everything is crashing down and you charming me isn't working." You blurted out, stinging yourself as you let those words leave your mouth. 

"You don't love me?" Kie choked out. Mental flashback started to trap Kiara into a haze of memories that you both shared, they all seemed to be lies. 

"I'm sorry, Kie. I can't do this anymore. You have to go, forget me." You pleaded, not even making the eye contact as you were a coward. 

"How can I forget you? I fucking love you, Y/N. I love everything about you. Look me in the eyes and tell me that what you felt wasn't real? If you can tell me that these three months were a bunch of lies, I'll leave and never speak to you again." Kiara protested, letting tears fall onto her thighs that now was a safety blanket for her tears. 

You wanted to wipe away her tears, take all the pain that you trapped her with a simple kiss. But you couldn't, you couldn't do it. No matter how much your heart wanted her, your brain is the reason you are functioning. 

Taking a deep breath, you looked Kiara in the eyes. You looked at her brown eyes fade into a puddles of water, this was going to be the last time you see her big brown eyes. The last time you were going to run your fingers through her locks. 

"It was never real." You spoke, looking at the love of your life pick herself up from your bed not even giving you a satisfaction  to redeem yourself. You watched her leave, the last memory you had of her was her tears engraved in your covers. 

Not even a last kiss goodbye or a touch to reminisce the lovely memories you shared, it was a simple look that would haunt you forever. 

and tell me how not to be jealous, baby, when I see you dancing in his arms

Kiara was mesmerised by the gown you were wearing for midsummers, a soft greenish-blue gown made of satiny fabric, long and loose. A semicircular collet made of silk. Your entrance was known, people were aware when your presences lured them to stare. The puff of wind swept through your hair before it vanished into the forest to provoke the leaves.

Kiara, of course attended the gala. She didn't want to but, hearing that you were going made her thoughts change like a child. She saw you, all of you. Infatuated by your beauty, she wanted to pull you inside and kiss your lips. The agony of knowing you weren't hers haunted her as she pleaded with the universe to have one dance, with her true love. 

You were glowing and a smile was glued to your face. You blocked out the pain with the alcohol that JJ managed to sneak in, it was rich whiskey that would drown your sorrow after one gulp. 

"May I have this dance?" A tall, brownish hair boy tapped your shoulder. You simply nodded downing the whiskey as you puffed your hair up. Taking his hand you felt disgusted, it didn't feel right. His hands were soft like Kiara's, they were rugged. His palm was sweaty, but Kiara's palm was tender.

You missed her touch, missed her thumb gently brushing against your hand as she whispered sweet things in your ear. When the boy dipped you, your eyes were fixated on Kiara, she was looking at you. 

You quickly removed your eyes for her gaze meeting the strangers, you simply smiled. You didn't feel anything when you were dancing with him, he never said much nor even smiled. A twirl made you chuckle, but your heart made you angry. Another twirl surprised you as you let out a laugh, a laugh that wasn't loud, it was mellow. 

"I like your laugh." He stated, holding your waist as he pushed your body closer to his. You should be feel butterflies, not caterpillars. You should be luring him to kiss you but, you didn't. You stare at him, trying to find something to love, to kiss but there wasn't anything. 

The pain in your eyes as you nuzzled your head in his chest as the song dimmed, made you think of all the times you and Kiara would dance. It was slow nor romantic, it was upbeat and sexy. 

She taught you to twerk, grind and freestyle. You never got the hang of them but Kiara liked the way your body moved with the music. The way her hands mistakenly ended up on your hips as she guided you to her body. 

"I can't watch this... Pope, I can't fucking look." Kie pleaded as she went to stand beside Pope, who was working the party. 

Pope understood the pain of watching someone you loved, with someone else. He always hated when JJ would flirt with Tourons, just so he can score every nationality. 

"We can leave... we don't have to stay here." Pope reassured her placing his hand on her shoulder. 

"Why do we fall for people who always end up breaking our hearts?" Kie murmured as she looked at you, swaying your body with his. 

"Because we love the idea of them, they suck us in when we need them the most. They use our vulnerability for their self confidence. They don't know they are doing, but, it hurts." Pope whispered as he pulled Kie in for a tight squeeze, slowly moving her side to side. 

"As long as we have each other, we will be fine." Pope huffed as he noticed JJ walk up to them both, with a huge grin on his face. 

"Here we go..." Pope whispered as he forced a smile on his face. 

I never knew loving you would break my heart 

Kiara never saw you after midsummers, you didn't even hang out with the Pogues or attend the parties. You vanished from their lives, JJ was heart broken that his other half disappeared. They were both the crazy types when it came to parties. You were his pair in every drinking game and now, he had Pope. 

Pope was great but he couldn't even handle drinking Coke, let alone beer. Kiara wasn't there, she was present but her soul wasn't intwining with the others. She was barked against the tree, where you both shared your first kiss. The hammock that swayed behind her was the first time you said I love you's. 

If Kiara could take back the day she meant, knowing the outcome she wouldn't of gone there. She would have picked another girl who was here for the weekend. But you stood out, you weren't desperate for someone. You didn't even make yourself available to anyone, you simply hanged with JJ and got drunk. 

And that's how her body began to lure to yours, wanting to trap you in her embrace and never let you go. The alcohol that consumed them both, didn't even warn them about the consequences about the reality of two girls being in love. 

It wasn't your fault, nor hers. It was the world they lived in. It was toxic, cruel and unkind to humans like them. Kiara loved the world and always protected it, always recycled, managed to keep litter off the beaches and waters. 

The world should be thanking her, not tearing her apart. Why couldn't the world accept everyone? We are still the same people. Our hearts beat the same minutes, our brain works the same but, when it comes to loving another human.. why is there so many rules? Everyone should be allowed to love who they want to love, why couldn't they let them be in love? Why was loving you so hard?

[s1utspeare]

Get To Know Me!

@foxofninetales tagged me in this ask game and since I LOVE HER i will now be doing it (i mean i’d do it anyway but now it will be filled with love for FOX i am not accepting CRITICISM ON THIS POINT)

Part I

name: Brigid! I’m named after the Irish goddess of like, poetry, healing, smithcraft, and protection, or the Irish saint (they’re both pretty similar it’s just whether or not you’re talking about Celtic religion or Catholicism). She’s very cool, and I think it’s a very fitting name for who I turned out to be!

pronouns: she/her

star sign: i’m an insufferable theatre kid of course I’m a Leo

height: 5'8″ babeeeyyy (172 cm). I’m not short like, at all, but all of my family members are over six foot, so I’m like. tiny in comparison. they all make fun of me all the time for it :(

time: 8:49pm! A delightful time of evening!!! 

birthday: July 31st, same day as Harry Potter lol.

nationality: american :P

fave bands/groups/solo artists: hnnnngggghhhh why would u ask me this I don’t KNOW jk i just have a lot uhhhhh all time faves would be Bastille and Mumford and Sons, but I’m SUPER into kpop right now, so my top groups are BTS, Stray Kids, and One OK Rock (who are technically jpop but I really like their stuff). I also am a Broadway BITCH (hello, theatre kid) so before this year all of my Spotify library was basically just show tunes. 

song stuck in your head: Get Away by VeriVery. I think they’re a pretty new group? idk i saw them on one of those tumblr promotional things and checked out the music video which is like??? really interesting conceptually? so I’ve just been listening to the song for a while lol. 

last movie you watched: Train to Busan! I’m gearing up to write a dmbj zombie apocalypse AU and so I was like “this is a popular zombie film! I’ll watch it for inspiration! :)” holy shit. holy shit i was so wrong. It’s one of the most viscerally affecting films I think I’ve ever seen, I was like. On the verge of an anxiety attack the entire time but in like the best possible way?? it’s a mastery of character introduction and action/horror and I cried for like the last ten minutes straight. SO affecting. I do NOT RECOMMEND IT if u are already made anxious by zombie apocalypse scenarios, blood, violence, and a Lot of Death. 

last show you binged: hmmm uh like I’m currently watching Mystic Nine but at like a normal pace, so the last show I probably binge watched was maybeeee The Uncanny Counter on Netflix? HIGHLY recommend that one, I made @cross-d-a watch it and I’m living for her liveblog reactions lmao. Idk most of my free time has been spent writing the past few months which. After months of only having the energy to watch shows is kind of really invigorating? the things u can do when u fix ur health I’ll tell you what

when you created your blog: in 2012 asldighalsdkfjladskjga i came on here to like burdge’s pjo fanart :)

the last thing you googled: "is it bad not to have an air cap on your tire” ALSDIGHALKDFJLADFJA FUCK ME (i learned that it’s not necessarily bad but it can get dirt and stuff built up in there so I went to the store after work today and replaced it)

other blogs: everything is here bc i am too lazy to create a sideblog! so sorry to everyone who does not follow me for cdrama content bc this is all I am now. 

why i chose my url: cause it’s my ao3 username and i wanted people to be able to find me more easily on tumblr! :) the long answer is because i love shakespeare and also i think that slut is a really funny word and concept for me especially because i am one of the most sexless people u will ever meet in ur life so slutspeare is like. an aggressively ace joke that only I think is funny. 

how many people are you following: 588

how many followers do you have: ah just over 200?!??!!? which is like. a lot for me. I think it was like 75 up until like last year omg 

average hours of sleep: my sleep app says I average around eight! which is very good for me! I do have to get enough sleep consistently or I will Have A Bad Time so my sleep schedule is pretty good and luckily I don’t have the Insomnia depression I have the Sleep Lots one which I am glad for bc idk what I’d do if I couldn’t Be Unconscious regularly. Die probably. 

lucky numbers: I don’t think I have lucky numbers?? my favorite number is 21 for no reason other than the vibes alone. 

instruments: i’ve played the piano for uhhhh.... eighteen years now? and I can play the ukulele and am surprisingly good with the recorder since I’ve had to play it in Multiple Theatre Performances. I was also an honor choir singer back in high school so I’ve done a lot of select ensemble stuff which was super fun! 

what i'm currently wearing: a Life Is Good long-sleeved t-shirt that says “Not All Who Wander Are Lost” that I got in a military surplus store like a million years ago and red Adidas athletic shorts that I found at the thrift store a couple weeks back

dream job: playwright! I just wanna be a playwright! playwriting is like drugs i literally go nuts for it

dream trip: I don’t know??? I don’t really like traveling tbh aslidhalkfdj umm I do want to see the grand canyon sometime before I die tho so maybe a road trip down there? I definitely like traveling solo so I’d probably just hang out with myself and drive and go to whatever places I want and see dumb tourist attractions and sing loudly in the car

fave food: CURRY i know i said eggs the last time it asked me this but I miss my local Indian restaurant I want to eat literal Platefuls of tikka masala at 12pm at the Indian buffet after my physics class again :(

top three fictional universe you'd like to live in: hmmm i don’t know, actually! probably one where I have Powers and could do Cool Hand Motions and make Lights Appear. If I were anywhere with like. An Actual World-Dooming problem tho I would not be helpful at all. I would just die. Besides, I already live in fictional universes half the time, I’m a writer! 

Part II

last song: Basquiat by Pentagon! The music video is like. Very whumpy. So if you’re into that... the song’s also a bop

last stream: i don't watch streams very often, I just watch clips from them, cause those usually just give the best parts lol 

currently reading: mmmmmbbbaaaaahhhhh literally nothing? I’m trying to get caught up on the backlog of dmbj fic I haven’t gotten around to so Binding by @vishcount is next on that list! oh I guess I’m also reading Johnny Tremain with my kids (one of them SPOILED THE END and I forgot how it ended and now I’m big sad). 

currently watching: Mystic Niiiiinnnneeeeee! love those gay history bitches. everyone in that show is so funny. I just finished the Fuba Side Plot tho and now we’re back to Politics so i’m like >:( someone give zhang baby rishan a hug (and then i write angst about him what is wrong with me)

what is antipoetry to you: antipoetry??? what the heck is antipoetry hold on... uhhhh that’s just poetry. who came up with this term. i guess like lyrical fiction would be the technical correct definition but idk I consider anything to be poetry! like that’s the whole point! poetry is poetry is poetry as long as it’s focused on intensity and emotions it’s poetry! a haiku? poetry. the random one-lined mess of words on my phone? poetry. a literal drawing of a cardinal with the word “bird” written next to it? poetry. idk I’ve been trying to teach my kids that there are no wrong ways to write creatively; if you’re expressing yourself and making emotions, then you’re writing! also like half of my work could be considered antipoetry lmao. I love emotionally supercharging the mundane.

currently craving: i have noooo ideaaaasssss i’m literally just vibing. uh. water? ok i took care of that one my water bottle was right next to me. 

AH IF YOU READ THIS MUCH THANK YOU???? i love u 

uhhhh no pressure tags for @xia-xueyi, @nope4ever, @bookjoyworm, @elletromil, and @gaiahenshin, as well as anyone else who would like to give the full-rundown on themselves! :D

[elsafowl]

Las Chicas del Cable, S05 (part 2) | REVIEW

Okay, so SPOILERS AHEAD for the final episodes of Las Chicas del Cable (or Cable Girls in english or Les Demoiselles du Téléphone in french). You have been warned, if you read this post further than this, it's on you.

Now, let's talk.

I don't really have a logical order for my talking points, actually I kinda finished the last episode 10 minutes ago and I just stopped ugly crying so forgive me for the feels and over punctuation.

THE ENDING: yeah, let's start with the freaking ending. The freaking BAD ending, I must say. Sure, I was so sad and overwhelmed with the pre-death flashbacks that I didn't think about it at first but. wow. what a bad ending. Seriously, what were they thinking in the writers' room? "Oh, we are writing a serie about powerful, clever, independent, badass women who survive and fight against all odds for 5 seasons, how can we finish that..." "BY KILLING THEM ALL" "Yay, great idea Steve!" THE FUCK. It was already enough that Ángeles had to die. It was already enough that most of the original main cast had died by the last episode (Carlos, Elisa, Julio, Ángeles, Carmen, that's already a lot of people), but nooooo, you had to kill the main four. The main four, who, let's be clear, died in the most stupid way ever.

ALTERNATIVE ENDING THAT WOULD'VE BEEN WAY BETTER IN MY OPINION: so, modern TV seems to have a problem with 100% happy endings. Like, endings are usually bittersweet, or sad, or damn tragic (glaring at you, Game of Thrones). Let's roll with that. You want a mildly sad and shocking ending for your chicas, but you also really want that years of fights and character developments don't go to waste, and you also want your depiction of the after Civil War era in Spain to be a little bit realistic. What do you do? Let me tell you: you kill your main character in the final. Lidia dies, saving everyone else, sacrificing herself. She is the main, so it's a shock and it's sad (+ the ship war between Lidia/Carlos and Lidia/Francisco is avoided because 2/3 are dead). It's sad but it makes sense: not everyone can survive the Franco regime, not even the main character (who, honestly, has high morals and always try to help everyone even if it puts her in danger). You have the drama and the tears. But Carlota and Óscar? They deserve a happy ending, being badass reporters with their new son Martín, being in love and maybe becoming cool spies during WWII. They deserve this ending, because I'm tired of the Bury Your Gays Trop (seriously. AGAIN??). They deserve a happy ending because this last season was them not being sure they belonged together, and Óscar not feeling like himself, and them breaking up and finally making up at the end, and all of that for WHAT?? Tell me, for what!? Marga needs a happy ending too: she risked everything to save her husband, she freaking gave birth like a pro in the middle of a riot/prison escape and she had her baby and her family is reunited for what... three minutes before she has to freaking die?? No. Just no. I guess I can imagine how these deaths symbolize the fights of all of those women who were forgotten by History, but you don't have to kill all of them to spread the message damn it.

ESPECIALLY WHEN THE REASON FOR THEIR DEATHS SUCKS: maybe I can accept them all dying, if it made sense. But it didn't!! They spent the entire season, hell, the entire serie fighting against everything and everyone - and they were mostly winning!! Las chicas never gave up on anything or on each other, and that's the strength of the show. But here we are, with the last scene: Lydia has a crazy good plan with the book and the sleeping powder and they freaking manage to escape. But oh look, these dumbasses started the train 30 sec too early and they can't run fast enough to jump in it (even though Franscico managed to do so literally 10 min earlier). But oh look, they aren't running fast enough because they are wearing high heels... honestly, I know this sucks, but during the running scene I couldn't stop thinking that they were going to die because they were wearing high heels. And damn, they actually did die. BECAUSE OF A FASHION CHOICE AND BAD TIMING. are you kidding me? They also died because they decided to give up. Again, las chicas, who fought and won against asshole men, against Doña Carmen, against the freaking Franco regime and they gave up. Just like that, because of a train speeding too fast. What the actual fuck???

But let's talk about the other deaths of this season (because they were a lot). I had tears in my eyes for Elisa and that's it. You see, the major problem with these last episodes and their characters' deaths (except the last ones), is that you could feel that the writers had used this specific character and they didn't need them anymore. Julio is fun, but we don't need him anymore: you kill him. Elisa was useful for a bit, but then we don't need her anymore: you kill her. Doña Carmen lost everything, she's not a villain anymore so we don't need her: you kill her. Even this lady from the prison was a cool character, but you needed to show not everyone could come out of this escape alive so bam! you kill her. Honestly, I was okay with all of these deaths even if they were not subtle at all in their intent, but if we add the last four deaths, IT'S JUST TOO MUCH. Like hell, you can't have mostly everyone surviving impossible situations for 4 seasons and then having a real massacre in the last one.

The rhythm: yeah, the rhythm wasn't that great. Everything happened to fast, from plot development to character development. It's a minor complaint tho, because they did good with the few episodes they had and most characters had been developed in previous seasons anyway. But it still felt a little bumpy at times.

Doña Carmen's redemption (of sort): it was a little too fast to my taste. But then, Elisa's death was heartbreaking and Carmen's flashbacks with her children (now both dead, I can't believe I was such a fan of the Cifuentes in the first seasons) made it even more painful. I liked how she didn't backed down or betrayed Lydia in the end. And I like how her ultimate suicide was presented as a victory: Carmen was in charge of her own life, she never let anyone tell her what to do or not to do. She was a great villain, and yeah she dies but not to save anyone, just because she said so and I like that.

Also, I don't remember his name but don't you think there was a hell of a gay tension between Pablo and this guy who betrayed them and got Julio killed? I mean, maybe it's just me, but I think he wasn't really in love with Marga and maybe more with Pablo!

Too bad Sofía wasn't developed more. She was a tool in this last season: a plot device to spy in the prison, and she had like 2 scenes as the daughter of Lidia/Franscisco and 2 scenes as Felipe's love interest but... I don't know, I guess I wanted more of her, since we didn't really get to know her before.

I loved the prison scenes!! They were short, but each of the chicas had her moment to shine and it was particularly pleasing to see Óscar believing in himself again. Carlota and Óscar's arrival in prison was so violent (with the shower scene and everything), I wish they explored a little bit more of that. And also of Lidia suffering and becoming not a person but a number during her 8 months incarcerated.

Where did the nice lady guard from prison go?

Carmen putting her ex-friend and mostly Carlos and Elisa's killer alive in a coffen was pretty satisfying. Yeah, not sorry about that.

I really liked that Franscisco and Lidia didn't really had couple scenes in those final episodes. I'm not such a fan of the couple (why do we have to keep the first love forebver?) (the love triangle with Carlos sucks too), and I didn't miss those scenes. They didn't make a big deal of Carlos' death so they made the right choice to not rub it in our faces by having cute lovely scenes between Lidia and Francisco.

Actually, Marga and Pablo were the cutest and the birth scene was awesomely done. How Pablo was so encouraging over the phone, how Marga needed him to tell her she could do it, and she finally did it and the little moment of angst when the baby didn't cry and them obviously naming him Julio. I honestly was so happy, this was definitely one of the best scene (plus, they manage to reunite almost everyone in this scene, between the people in prison with Marga and the people in the apartment with Pablo).

Carlota and Óscar organising the riot was awesome too, and them getting back together was certainly welcomed bonus, even if they didn't get much scenes to explore that.

THIS SCENE WAS GOLD: 

AND SEEING ALL OF THEM WITH ÁNGELES AT THE END, AND ÓSCAR BEING HIMSELF AND EVERYONE BACK IN THE CABLE COMPANY LIKE IN THE FIRST SEASON, THE FREAKING TEARS!!!

Anyway, there is a lot to say about this season. Sure, the ending was terrible to me but that doesn't mean the rest of the season (or even the show) was bad. I think you can see me cool off in this post as I write, now I'm pretty calm and not as mad because I still love this show but damn, why would you ruin the ending like that?? Or like, maybe not ruining it totally, but making it so damn hard?

All in all, I really liked this serie even if the final episode (actually, the last scene) was pretty terrible to me. Of course, the first three seasons were way better than the last two, with the intrigue being around the cable company and less slip up in so many different directions because of the war. I truly think the Civil War and Franco era plot could have been better if they had more episodes, more time to develop it, and maybe more complex storytelling. I will always been grateful to have seen such a wonderful cast of actresses/characters on the show. They were powerful, badass, clever, independent, loving women (and Óscar) who were fighting everyday for their lives, for their loves, for their freedom and for their rights and that was beautiful to watch, especially when the main five characters are so different and yet so connected, so relatable, and so... I don’t know, women? 

Thank you Carlota, Óscar, Marga, Lidia and Angeles. Thank you, las Chicas del Cable. You’ll be dearly missed. ♥

[misstinfoilhat]

Saw your prompt list and thought I'd drop a suggestion: Kakashi with "don't let them see me cry" - especially if it involves young team 7

I merged this with @selspeaks :  Kakashi: Don't let them see you cry. Bonus points if Guy is in there somewhere annoying him

I tried my best to incorporate both of these!

Oh lord. I don’t even know what this story is. This went from angst to angstier, angstiest to dark af, to fluff, fluffier, fluffy mcfluffypants to what-the-fluff-even?

I don’t know. I hope you all like it though!

--

With a sharp intake of air, Kakashi shot up and leaped out of bed. The bedsheet caught on his feet and he tumbled, darted back up, and shot for the bathroom where he swiftly tugged his mask down and heaved alcoholic liquid into the bowl. Shaky hands grasped at the toilet firmly.

For two days, Kakashi had been unable to leave his apartment. In those 48 hours, less than four of them had been spent sleeping. The other 44, was tossing and turning, trying to relax his body and clear his mind, or, spent drinking an ungodly amount of sake, in the hopes of eventually pass out and catch a few hours of uninterrupted sleep.

But nothing seemed to work.

When he felt himself being done extracting the meager contents of his stomach out, he flushed and closed the lid, but paused for a moment to inspect his hands.

His fingers were soft, long, delicate. Clean, unmarred, and milky. Not at all like a shinobi's. It was because Kakashi always wore gloves. He hated the appearance of those hands. They were hands that hurt people. That killed. Hands covered in blood. 

Rin's blood.

Whenever he remembered that day, his hands would be covered in blood all over again. First, in short flashes. Coming and going in the blink of an eye.

Then, it didn't disappear. No matter how many times he'd blink at them.

That was when the washing started. Hours upon hours of scrubbing his hands raw. The blood never went away, and the more he scrubbed, the more it would bleed until he realized that it was his own blood that covered his hands and not Rin's.

This had been an occurring problem since that day, and it had only become worse once Minato, his last lifeline, had died.

Somewhere insides Kakashi's musings, there were knocks on his door.

Suddenly, it was like he woke back up. As if he had just now become aware of his surroundings. But, he knew he hadn't slept. 

Confused, he stared down at the sink, the sponge he'd used, and his irritated skin. It had happened again.

The knocks on his door became more rapid, and a voice far, far away was yelling his name and Kakashi knew he should answer and knew he needed to stop cleaning his hands.

But he simply couldn't. Not before all his dirty skin had been peeled off. Not until it bled. It wasn't clean enough until there was nothing left at all!

Another voice joined in, yelling his name. The knocks were harder; like hail on your window during a storm. The voices pulled at Kakashi and he wished he could answer them, follow them instead, but he was sure that if he didn't get the blood away, these hands would hurt everything he loved. Everything that was left.

And, logically, he knew that he was the one controlling them. He knew they wouldn't go off on their own and hurt or kill anyone he didn't want them to kill.

But, what if?

What if the constant reminder of what he had done to Rin, how he failed to protect her, or save Obito and how he hadn't been enough to keep his father from committing suicide, would drive him mad?

Kakashi absently realized that the knocking had stopped, and the voices calling out for him had stilled. For some reason, he felt a bit sad about it. Like the intrusive yelling was something comforting and nice, not noisy and disruptive. It reminded him of something or someone. 

Its absence left him in silence. A loud, strangling, ear-piercing silence accompanied only by the running tap and the scratching noise emitted between the cloth and his palms.

Why wasn't it going away?

The rubbing intensified. The motion was becoming stronger and more forceful, almost static, and it stung which was good because that meant that he was close to...

Close to what exactly?

Kakashi realized he was panting. Reality came back to him like a droplet falling from the sky. Cold, unavoidable, grey. Blinking, he gazed down at his sore, scratched-up hands. The one holding the rough sponge opened, letting the yellow foam fall into the sink. Reluctantly, he lifted his gaze up and peered into the mirror, where he met a horrid sight.

His face was unmasked in a twisted grimace. The long, angry scar he got the same day Obito died glowed as if it was laughing at him. Red, puffy, glazed eyes and charcoal orbs glistened dangerously.

And the sounds. The sounds had been his students, coming to look for him. They had to be worried about their sensei, now that he hadn't bothered showing up to practice in several days. It must have taken them a long time finding his apartment, and he had ignored them to indulge in whatever-the-fuck he had just done, the selfish jerk he was.

He stared intently at his reflection. The blood-shot eyes that met his glare were pitiful and made him furious. How long had he been standing here? 

«Stop crying, you fool,» he sneered lowly, trying to keep the trembling in his chest away from his voice. His eyes squinted shut, chasing away unshed tears.

«I said...» A deep breath. «Stop... fucking crying-»

Someone kicked his door in as Kakashi's fists hit the mirror, shattering it into a million little pieces, dancing around him like flickering snowflakes.

«Kakashi!» an alarmed voice roared from the livingroom. Heavy footsteps moved quickly across the floor.

Kakashi hit the wall where the mirror had been, slicing his knuckles on the sharp left-over pieces and couldn't hold back his winch.

He was pathetic. Pathetic, sad, weak, and a horrible human being. He didn't deserve to live. Why did he get to live when Rin and Obito didn’t?

Two strong hands grabbed a tight hold on his shoulders and pulled him back. Kakashi whirled around, trying to tear away.

«Kakashi?» The voice was deep, Kakashi recognized it but couldn't focus. Feeble, bloodied fingers tried to pry off the larger, tan, callused ones that held him still, and Kakashi was unable to keep himself from thinking that they looked clean and felt an instant need to wash his hands again.

«Kakashi!» 

He had made the voice angry. It sounder wrong like that and he knew he had fucked up, just like he always did and it probably wouldn't have happened if he had cleaned his hands---

«S-so much blood,» he mused in a whisper.

His head shot back.

For a moment, he sat there dumbly, unable to take in what had just happened. He rose a strangely painful hand to feel his heated, burning cheek but paused when he noticed the newly ripped flesh scattered across his scarred hands.

Turning them, observing all the healed crisscrossed marks and raw skin curiously, he wondered where the soft, unmarred hands from earlier had gone.

He felt the comforting touch on his shoulder return. Dark eyes looked up to meet two concerned beady eyes under a set of furiously bushy eyebrows.

«Gai? What...» Kakashi muttered perplexed but interrupted himself as he took in his surroundings. The shattered glass on the floor, the mess of soap and water, the bloodied streaks all across the bathroom. «It happened again.»

A sad smile tugged at Gai's lips and he nodded. “Yeah.”

«Oh, God,» Kakashi groaned agonizingly, curling in on himself and shrugging Gai's arm off.

«Shit!» The tears were back, and he struggled to contain them. He refused to let them fall. He couldn't let Gai see him cr---

«...kashi-sensei?»

The surprise of hearing that voice made him straighten his back, instinctively pulling up his mask before looking towards where the sound was coming from, where three heads appeared, lingering warily by the door.

«Were you attacked?» Naruto bellowed loudly as he noticed the state of the bathroom, looking over his shoulder for a possible intruder. His throwing arm itched eagerly by his side pouch.

«I guess you could say that,» Kakashi muttered to no one in particular.

«Don't worry, sensei! I'll get them!»

Naruto bounced off, but Sakura grabbed his jacket and held him back, shaking her head disapprovingly.

«Stop that, stupid.»

For a short while, there was silence once more. It was probably not more than a few seconds, but it ached like days, so Kakashi cleared his throat.

«I-I guess this looks a bit strange,» he drawled slowly and rubbed his neck, smearing the blood through his unruly silvery mane.

«Yes,» Sasuke answered immediately, folding his arms across his chest. The kid always looked suspicious, a bit like he always smelled a fart, which Kakashi bemusedly had thought once during training and proceeded to giggle himself silly as the preteens stared at him incomprehensively.

A bit like now.

They wanted an answer, he knew. Sympathized with it, even. But he had no idea how to give them one.

«I-» he started hesitantly, «I'm not sure how to explain this. And, I'm guessing that none of you would believe me if I came up with some silly story anyway. But I just...»

Again, that tight hold around his heart appeared. The heavy, painful, strangulating feeling of not being able to breathe. The same one he had years after his father passed and an even longer time after Obito and Rin died. It hurt more than a punch in the gut.

«Kakashi-sensei, are you...» Sakura asked just as Gai gently ushered them outside. 

Kakashi wiped the streaming tears off his cheek with his sleeve when Gai returned. Kakashi didn't know what he said to them, but when he came back, it was without the kids.

«I am so sorry, Kakashi. I had no idea that this is what was happening. I should have asked them to stay at the training grounds while I went to check on you by myself.»

Kakashi, still seated on the floor with his knees pushed up to his chest, hiding his watering eyes with his hand, chuckled.

«No. You'd have to tie them up to prevent them from doing whatever they want to do anyway. And unless it's for the genin exams, I'm pretty sure you would be breaking some sort of code if you did that.»

«Actually, I'm pretty sure you're not allowed to tie a student down during the genin exams either,» Gai muttered perplexed. Kakashi simply stared back.

«Huh.»

Despite himself, Gai hummed a small laugh as he started rummaging through Kakashi's well-stocked medicine cabinet, pulling out disinfectants, gauze, and rolls of bandages.

«Let me see your hands,» Gai required softly, and Kakashi obeyed reluctantly, letting his right hand fall limply into Gai's giant palm.

«Several of these will require stitches,» Gai murmured patiently as he cleaned Kakashi's wounds.

«Maa, I'll do it later,» Kakashi waved him off while Gai rolled his eyes.

«No, you're not doing anything. I will take you to the doctor so it can be done properly. Not that half-assed quick-fix stuff you did in ANBU.»

Kakashi didn't dignify that with an answer. His half-assed quick-fix stuff had saved many lives, his own and Gai's included! Was everyone grateful? Yes! Were the wounds all horribly infected and disfigured after? Well, that wasn’t relevant!

«I really think you should see a doctor, dear rival,» Gai said with the slightest hint of his trademark energetic personality back.

«Jeez, fine. I'll go,» Kakashi sighed, but held his breath when he noticed how sad Gai seemed. Apparently, the energy that he had centered into his voice hadn't quite reached his eyes yet.

«Not for that. Well, that too. But for this,» Gai lifted Kakashi's hand up for a moment, indicating towards the wounds.

«I don't usually self-harm, Gai.»

«I know, that's not what I meant either. That OCD stuff that always happens after a bad mission. And those panic attacks- whatever it is- that you're experiencing. It's no good. You can't live like that. I worry that someday you're gonna...» Gai stopped himself from finishing that sentence.

Kakashi looked away in shame.

«Do like my father,» Kakashi whispered. «I know.»

Gai started bandaging up the right hand and silently asked for the left one once it was done. Kakashi didn't say anything as he offered it, placing it gently into the welcoming palm. They didn't talk while Gai kept working, and Kakashi's mind was running.

He could hardly remember what had happened. Was that how Sakumo had felt before he stabbed himself? Had he too gone into some strange psychosis and let his own self-hatred be in control? Was that what Kakashi was doing? He knew he wasn't in control, at least, he didn't think he was. And Kakashi truly didn't want to die by his own hands, let alone imagine what something like that would do to his students.

They had lost people in their lives too.

«I'll go to the doctor,» Kakashi croaked finally, watching Gai's expressive brows rise and curve excitedly, like an expressive labrador.

«Really?»

«Yes.»

«So I won't have to drag you there against your will?»

«What makes you think you even could-»

«Thank you!»

Gai threw himself at Kakashi, cotton balls with antiseptic flying and the bottle tilting, spilling half the fluid out. Strong arms wrapped around Kakashi's shoulders and pulled him into a tight bearhug, nearly knocking the breath out of him.

«I told you you didn't have to restraint and force me there,» Kakashi hummed in a mix of discomfort and relief before pulling away. Unwillingly, Gai let go and wiped a tear away from the creak of his eye. 

Rustling from outside brought their attention away for a moment, before Gai hurried to wrap up Kakashi's other hand so they could check what the fuzz was about.

«Ngh, gah! Naruto! Your elbow is in my face!»

«Your shoulders muffled my ear! I couldn't hear anything!»

«That wasn't because of my shoulder, but from all the cotton you have for brains!»

«Will you two shut up? I'm trying to hear what they're talking abo- Ah!»

Gai dragged the door open, successfully making three noisy kids leaning towards it tumble onto the floor, laying there in a dazed heap for a moment before jolting back up.

«Kakashi-sensei? Are you okay now?» Naruto cried boastfully, jumping over to help Kakashi up from the floor. Kakashi ignored the gesture and pulled himself up, noting that he felt a slight hangover.

Good, he thought. At least I've sobered up.

«Better,» Kakashi replied truthfully, noticing how Sakura was eyeing his hands timidly. «I'm sorry for worrying you. That wasn't my intention.»

He smiled softly at her, and she seemed to perk up at that, so he decided to rest his hand on her head for a moment, just to see what it was like.

Two brightly pink cheeks beamed up at him, and in an instant, she was entangled around his torso, hugging him tight enough to rival Gai. Before Kakashi had even realized what was going on, Naruto had joined in, pressing himself to his other side while chubby, sunkissed hands grabbed at the fabric of Kakashi’s black shirt.

Sasuke stood ambivalent with his arms crossed, observing the ordeal with little to no interest, while Gai bawled his eyes out, leaping a few steps forward, ready to join in.

«Don't you dare,» Kakashi glared dangerously, and Gai turned in his step and switched his focus on Sasuke, deciding that no one should ever be left unhugged, and trapped the boy in a huge, forceful embrace, seemingly untouched by the violent death threats and obscenities spilling out of the boy. 

As much as Kakashi was touch-avert and uncomfortable by affection, he recognized this as an important moment. Not only for him but for his students (it might not be for Sasuke; this particular moment, but in the long run, maybe) too. 

Kakashi wouldn’t tell them the gritty details. They were unimportant, but mostly, he truly didn’t want to. But he realized one, really important thing. 

What had made Minao a great teacher, was his heart. And a heart contained more than just strength. It also held love and hurt. Vulnerability.

Kakashi knew he wouldn’t change overnight. Maybe not ever. 

But if this was even one step closer to being the man Minato would want as his son’s mentor, half the man Minato was, then, Kakashi would do whatever it took to become that man.

---

End