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#sorry....this title prompts angst no fluff
basiltonpitch · 11 months
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for the fic title ask game, in honor of olivia rodrigo’s new single, which i just listened to a few minutes ago: “bleedin’ me dry (like a goddamn vampire)”
ok i want u to know that i ALSO hadn't actually listened to vampire yet bc i was too busy freaking out over leanna firestone's new ep all day BUT i did give the song a listen after u sent me this (and it is SO GOOD oh my god) but.....
ben s2 pov: obv post "...thrown a rager" and pre-reconciliation, still so angry and heartbroken. canon divergent in the way they don't actually reconcile in season 2, to amp up the angst. devi's apology + the convo between nalini and noor doesn't work out. aneesa has to transfer schools again. and somehow devi keeps fucking up even more. she tries to apologize to ben after aneesa transfers - says she tried, that she really fucking tried but ben....he cares about her, of course he does, but he can't do this anymore - this back and forth. so, he cuts her off completely (like he does in s4...whoops). now...this is still s2 devi, this is still pre-s3 benvi besties era, so there's not that year-plus of friendship between them anymore. and devi is just - devi is always around. and he hates it, not because he hates her but because he hates how he feels around her. he's just - he's exhausted. he blocks her number, blocks her on insta and twitter and wherever the fuck else, asks to have his class schedule changed because, well, being around her is bleeding him dry. it's preventing the wound from scarring shut. so...he removes her from his life, as much as he can.
and then dun dun dunnn paxton still shows up at the dance and the "she wanted to choose you" convo with eleanor still happens and that's where it ends :)
send me a made-up fic title and i'll tell you what i would write to go with it
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taintedcigs · 4 months
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i slept with someone from corroded coffin and all i got was this stupid song written about me.
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ROCKSTAR!FBOY!EDDIE X READER
summary: fooling around with a famous rockstar who's a notorious playboy sounds perfect on paper, until you catch feelings for him. that's why you decide to end things, to not get your feelings get hurt, and its all going perfectly, until eddie releases a song, written all about you.
warnings: smut, p in v, MINORS DNI!!!!, pet names, praising?, lovey dovey, kinda angst and arguments, drgs & alcohol mention, swearing? idk this is kinda cheesy n cute with a mix of fluff sprinkled honestly!
author's note: the indented parts are texts between steve and reader and thenn reader and eddie. they look confusing as fuck im sorry i just wanted to make them look unique but they look stupid. also yes. i patted myself in the back after i found this title (thank you fob). and yes the lyrics are inspired by i don't care im on a fob kick sue me! and ofc fboy!eddie isn't actually that much of a fboy bc if i can't write lovesick eddie ill die. this is super cheesy so i still struggled a lot but UGH. not proof-read ignore all mistakes
also credits to @dumplingsjinson for the prompts! (i changed them but still!) and @saradika for the dividers! pls like + rb + interact w me in anyway to support my writings!! ty!!
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DINGUS sent you a spotify link. did you listen to this? yeah. its kinda romantic. no. the lyrics are insane. n all about u okay? are u at the party rn? yeah. u comin? soon he’s there too u already knew that, didn’t u?  false accusations r rude, steve.
You click your phone off with a groan, but he was right. You couldn’t stay away from him, and maybe, just maybe, this was your way of running into him, accidentally. 
Because ever since he released the song, the tabloids had gone crazy with it, half of the lyrics screamed you and all of the old headlines pointed at you, the mystery girl Eddie used to be seen with, and you really were growing tired of seeing your name next to “Munson’s new girl.” 
Because you weren’t his new girl, you weren’t his anything. He was a cocky asshole who was good with a guitar and was even better at fucking. And that was something both of you could relate to, the only thing you had in common with him. Or, so you thought. 
But of course, as with everything else, the things between you changed, you started staying over, he started staying over, and the two of you even went on fucking dates, disguising them under ‘we were just hungry, is all.’ 
You tried to keep up the cool girl act, like you could fuck someone and not catch feelings. Every inch of you itched not to care, to act like it was all fine, but it was all fucking bullshit, you cared, so fucking much that your chest ached. The more you got to know him, the more you fell for him, and the more you fell for him, the more you realized there was no fucking way this would work. 
Cocky rockstar who spent more time doing drugs than sleeping, with girls all over him? The imaginary red flag bells rang in your ear, even now. He wasn’t looking for a relationship and you knew that. That’s why you ended it two months ago. Or at least, you started ignoring him two months ago. 
Yet, he had been calling and texting you, wanting to meet up, drunken slurs of nonsense, gibberish voicemails, and yet you never answered, because if you did, you knew you’d be back to pathetically swooning over him.
Until today, just because of that stupid song, like it meant anything. That douchebag probably wrote songs about every girl he fucked. 
You weren’t special. 
Another ding sound from your phone almost startled you, the contact name made you groan even louder. “don’t FUCKING answer.” That didn’t mean shit. It was just something stupid to make you feel better that you couldn’t stay away from him, because you knew, deep down that if you really didn’t want him to contact you, you would’ve deleted his number, and blocked him. You were too chicken shit to do that, and still desperately wanted to hear from him. 
So you settled on that contact name. Like it made a difference, like it changed anything. 
DONT FUCKING ANSWER did you listen to the song?
Don’t fucking answer. The contact name should be enough to convince yourself that.
Too late.
                                                                   no. don’t lie to me, sweetheart.                                                                            why would i lie?
You sink into the couch, a much quieter corner of the party, not even bothering to socialize. Your brows furrow, index finger flying to your lips anxiously, as you chew on it to patiently wait for an answer.
You sip on your drink with a nervous gaze on your screen, barely noticing the way the couch sink further when someone else took a seat next to you. 
“Hi.” The gravelly voice pulls your attention away from the screen, making you set your drink aside as you look up, finding yourself face-to-face with him. 
Shaggy bangs cascade onto his forehead, and with your exaggeration, it looks longer than the last time you saw him. Black jeans cladded with chains. A graphic tee messily thrown over his heavily tatted chest, that you could still imagine right about now—pathetic. He looked just about the same, the deep dimple adorning his soft cheeks had seemed to disappear, wearing a scowl instead, that tiny voice in your head told you that was your doing, that maybe he was just as miserable as you. Maybe your feelings weren’t fully one-sided.  
Shit. 
“Eddie?” Squeaky, and annoying, you were sure that’s how your tone sounded, yet he didn’t seem to comment on it.
“‘m glad you remember my name, sweetheart,” he scoffs sarcastically, leaning further into the plush couch, elbow propped at the side, eyeing you with frustration. 
“W—what the hell are you doing here?” You stutter as if you weren’t expecting to run into him. Full of bullshit. 
“Did ya really think you could ignore me forever, huh?” He tilts his head slightly, almost expectedly, earning an eye roll from you. 
“I wasn’t ignoring yo—”
Eddie tuts quickly, his gaze locking onto yours with an intensity that cuts through the ambient noise of the party, “I thought we said no more lies, huh?” 
With a huff, “Why are you here, Eddie?” you mumble.
“Am I not allowed to party?” He banters, brows slightly raised, making you huff out an exasperated breath, your eyes bore into him, almost to signal him ‘Take this seriously.’
“I wanted to know what you thought.” He shrugs like it was normal to just come running after everything just to know what you thought of the song. 
“The song?” He nods in confirmation.
“Didn’t like it,” you confess, avoiding his gaze, but your brows betray you, lifting ever so slightly.
He tsks, shutting you off quickly, “You see that little quirk your brow did? That only happens when you lie, you can’t help it. You do that when I ask you if you ate the last pizza slice, or when I ask if you watched the next episode of the show we were supposed to watch together, or when you—” 
“Fine, fine! I liked it,” you groan, interrupting him and suddenly standing up from the comfort of the couch, being so face-to-face with him immediately making your nerves bubble.
“Just liked?” He tilts his head slightly, a smirk curving on his lips. 
A deep sigh of breath, “what do you want, Munson?”
He stands up with you, making you back away from him with a heavy footstep, the entire party was too loud and crowded, yet, in this stupid corner, it was just the two of you. “For you to admit that you loooved the song, and how much you missed me,” he sing-songs, taking a step closer to you, musky smell invading your senses, making you take a deep breath.
Both of you stand near the wall, and it should be awkward, it should be enough to make you leave, but all it does is draw you closer to him.
“You’re annoying.” 
“Is that why you’ve been avoiding me?”
“I wasn’t avoiding—” He tuts, with his stupid index finger up, rejecting your lie.
“I—I don’t know what you expected.” You shrug, so nonchalantly that his gaze narrows, chest aching with the implications of your words.
“We both knew this wouldn’t last forever, didn’t we?” You chew the inside of your lip to stop those tears that had been begging to flow ever since you listened to the song, wiping off that smirk on Eddie’s lips. 
“Would’ve been nice if I got a reminder, and not have been just fully ghosted, huh?” The brunette grumbles with a downturn of his lips, shaking his head in disbelief. 
“Oh, don’t act all high and mighty, isn’t that what you do all the fucking time?” you snap, gaze narrowed, and arms crossed against your chest. 
“Fuck girls and then leave them? Did it crush your ego this fucking much that I did before you could?” 
“What the fuck does that mean?” He retaliates. 
“It means I was smart enough to pull myself away from your bullshit,” you rasp, disdain written all over your face.The room seems to shrink as the distance between you decreases. 
Another step closer to you, and you didn’t realize your back had hit the wall now. “My bullshit? God, that’s fucking rich, if I seem to recall correctly sweetheart, you were in this as much as I fucking was!”
“Oh, was I?” You bark out a chuckle, cruel, mocking, “I don’t remember being okay with you fucking half the city.” Realization of how bitter and jealous that sounds, dawns on you much later than the words leave your lips, and thankfully, Eddie’s too fucking immersed to realize the double meaning of your words. 
“Are you fucking kidding? No strings attached! Non-exclusive! That’s what you fuckin’ signed up for!” His voice echoes, mirroring his frustration, and you open your mouth.
But he doesn’t let you speak further, cutting you off sharply. “Is this all because of that new guy you’re seein’?” 
“What? What guy?” 
“The one who was all over you earlier,” he bites out, jaw clenched, and you can almost taste his bitterness in the air.  
“The same one you fucked at Jeff’s party.”
“Are you stalking me, Munson?” 
“Did you just want an excuse to end things? Are the two of you serious or somethin’?” His voice wavered between anger and desperation, gaze pathetically searching for yours, to gauge your reaction.
You scoff. Did he really think you’d end things because of a stupid fling you had which in the first place occurred just so you could forget him? He was so goddamn clueless it drove you insane. 
But what you didn’t realize was that you were just as clueless, if not more, because why would he write a song all about you, if this was just about sex? Because who would get so jealous of someone they didn’t care about? 
Say my name and his in the same breath.
I dare you to say they taste the same. 
The lyrics from his stupid song swirled your thoughts, yet you were still too stupid to see it, weren’t you?
Another step closer to you, a dangerous game the two of you liked to play. He smelled alluring, a fucked up mix of nicotine, his musky cologne, and that damn leather jacket. “Do you really think, he could compare to me, sweetheart?” 
Say my name and his in the same breath.
“Tell me he’s fucking better, and he’s actually what you want, and I’ll fucking leave, I’ll bury all the other songs I wrote, tell me, and I’ll be out of your hair forever.”
I dare you to say they taste the same. 
And just like that, all the defenses you put up, all the times you ignored him, they are cracked, disappearing into thin air. You hate it, you hate that he has this effect on you, you can feel your mind getting hazier, eyes blinking rapidly to process what the fuck is going on, and his face is mere inches away from yours. You knew their names didn’t taste the same. And you knew he could never ever compare to Eddie.
“Tell me,” he encourages, dares you to. You fail to notice how much emotion his gaze carries, how the corners of his lips twitch, just at the thought of you finally admitting you don’t want him. His stomach turns at the thought, this is his last chance, he knows that, and he can’t fucking lose you. He can’t. 
And you don’t know any of that, but you knew, know that no one else could compare to him. And you hate yourself for thinking that, you hate yourself for falling for him, the world stops rotating on its axis when he’s in your peripheral vision, and it’s fucking disgusting. Pathetic. Stupid. Because you know the two of you have no chance. But here you are. 
“H—he is b—” Of course, your brow quirks up almost immediately, betraying you quicker than you can even attempt to lie. 
That dawning smirk appears on his lips again, it’s mocking, and just as much smug. You want to wipe it off of his stupidly pretty face. “Tell me,” he dares you, again. This time much cockier and confident, and you suddenly realize how small you feel under him.
“He isn’t,” your meek voice is barely audible.
And you don’t register the shaky breath he draws when the words leave your lips, giving him the confirmation he needs. You wanted him, he had no fucking clue why you ghosted him, yet you still wanted him. Just as much as he wanted you. 
Both of his hands were placed on the wall now, towering over you, making your breath get caught up in your throat. “Speak up.”
“No, fuck! You know he’s not, you know he could never fucking compare to you, you fucking know tha—” He shuts you up with a rough kiss, lips pressed against yours messily, letting the petty comments die down your throat. Because this is all he wanted, needed to hear anyway. 
“Up,” he grunts into the kiss, tapping your thighs, hoisting you up from your waist to help you wrap your legs around him, tight, he wants you at his mercy, locked to him. 
You wrap your legs around him, barely, the melty sensation in your knees making you so shaky that he barks out a laugh into your lips, holding you close, firm, the butterflies in your stomach traveling all across your body.
He lifts you up as if you are weightless, arms wrapped around you strongly as he carries you to the nearest empty bedroom, impressively without hitting your back anywhere, so roughly that your core throbs at the feeling of his arms around you.
“Baby,” he mutters as he lowers you down on the bed swiftly, smooth, gaze darkened and pupils blown wide, all the pent up desire waiting to explode. 
“Eddie,” you beg, shaky voice sounding purely angelic to his ears once he got rid of his shirt, shrugging it off with a huff, his fingertips grazing against your top, feeling your hardened nipples, causing gasps out of you, he’s quick to pull it over your head while you run your fingers up the grooves of his stomach, the tip of your fingertips almost burns everywhere you touch. 
He groans at the sight of your bare breasts, “missed thi-you,” he corrects himself, because that’s all he wanted anyways, you. 
He nips at your nipples, tongue good at giving attention to both of them, all wet and warm, making you squirm under his touch, you’re quick to get rid of everything else, leaving you in your panties, making him grunt. 
The pad of his thumb rubs against your left nipple, leaving goosebumps in its wake, while his other hand travels down your chest, then your stomach, finally drawing circles when it stops between your thighs, ghosting over your panties before he tugs them down your legs, spreading them apart with a slight hum, pupils blown so wide that you can’t admire those chocolate hues anymore. 
He visually drinks in that sight of you, laid down on the couch, eyes squeezed shut, back arched, and he hasn’t even touched you yet. You’re completely at his mercy and his chest aches with need. “So pretty like this f’me,” he coos into your chest, pushing his middle finger inside of you. Making you feel so good that you can’t stop the gasps coming out of your lips.   
Pleasure shivers through everywhere he sucks and touches, his finger eases into you when he adds another one, a moan escaping you quickly. “Need to be in here, sweetheart, d’ya have any idea how much I missed this?” 
You don’t. You don’t know about the sleepless nights, the drunken ones, the drug-induced ones in an attempt to recreate the high you gave him. It’s fucked up, it’s insanely toxic. Yet, he can’t get enough of you. 
His gaze upon you is dangerous, maybe it’s because he had missed you so goddamn much, or maybe because he didn’t know where this would lead, but it felt fucking sentimental, different somehow, and he could feel you, everywhere on his skin.
Your hips start rocking up against him when the pad of his thumb flicks over your clit, making you arch your back, whines, mumbles leaving your lips. And all he can muster is, “so goddamn beautiful, look at you whining for me.”
You can feel his bulge rub against your thigh every now and then, it’s distracting, almost agonizing. You desperately need it inside of you, you had missed him, missed his touch, missed the feeling of him filling you to the brim, you missed seeing his face contort in pleasure when he was inside of you, you wanted him to never forget you again. 
That’s why you feel so numb, can barely speak, and of course, Eddie notices, how unusually quiet you are, and he wants to make this unforgettable, just so you have another reason to come back to him. Just so you don’t leave him, just so you stay forever. 
“Gone too quiet on me, honey, tell me what you need,” he coos down at you, thumb still caressing your pussy, and all you can fucking do is chew down on your bottom lips, eyeing his bulge that was begging to get out. And he barks out a goddamn chuckle, “P—please, Eddie.” Pathetically leaves your lips. 
And normally he would make you beg, tease further, but he reaches to tug down his pants quickly, because fuck, he had missed you. And he can’t bear the thought of not being inside of you any longer. 
Thinking is not your strongest suit right now either, your brain is mushy, all the nights and days spent thinking about him, about this explodes into your body. Your pussy aches when you finally see his cock again, a sound of need leaving your lips as you eye his length, so big that pleasure ripples through you, especially when you see his gushy tip, glistening with pre-cum. 
You want every fucking inch inside of you, and Eddie’s more than ready to oblige, “What do you need, baby? Tell me.”
“Need you, Eddie,” you moan, all fucked out, his fingers slip in and out of you still, but it isn’t enough for him. He needs more, he craves your validation like he never has before. 
“God, you’re soakin’ my fingers, princess,” he grunts, wedging himself between your thighs, weeping cock drips onto your inner thighs, making you moan breathlessly. “Tell me exactly what you fuckin’ want, honey.”
“Eddie.” His name sounds like silk, even when it’s so lewd, Eddie decides, and it makes him let out an impatient huff. “P—please. Need you to fuck me.” It’s so goddamn desperate that you can feel heat rise to your cheeks, but it’s everything to him.
“Want you to fuck me like you mean it.”
“Oh, that’s easy, sweetheart,” he grunts, lining his cock through your entrance, coating himself in your slick, enjoying your mewls before he doesn’t hesitate to push his cock inside of you, inch by inch, relishing the way you cry out for him. 
Greedily, you rock your hips into him, making him let out a frustrated groan. “Have no fuckin’ idea how much I missed this greedy cunt, sweetheart, shit.” He thrusts in a few more inches, and breathless moans and babbles of his name fill the air.
“Suckin’ me right in, baby, fuck, you’re so pretty like this, mhmm.” His cock moves inside of you, and your hands are wrapped around his back, desperately clawing at it, the fullness making you want more, “you like that, baby, like bein’ full of me?” A heavy sound leaves his lips, pathetic and you pulse around him. 
“S’so good Eddie, and s’big,” you barely manage to let out, and he watches you with that burning amber gaze, thrusting all the way in without hesitation. Those plushy lips that hang open, that filthy mouth, the prettiest fucking features—you, were going to be the death of him. 
Maybe it’s because you had missed him, or maybe because you hadn’t experienced this in a long time, or fuck, maybe, just maybe that the song had created a new type of need between the two of you. Using sex as a sort of connection that the both of you desperately needed. But, shit, was it this different this time. 
He felt different—his lips, touch, skin as it slapped against yours, it was different. 
Full. You feel so fucking full that your back involuntarily arches against him, fingers clenching desperately, your screams and cries filling the room the more he plunges inside of you, deeper, hungry, and just as greedy as you. 
“Yeah, better than that asshole?” It rolls off his lips so bitter and jealous that you can barely register it. Not being used to this possessive side of him, and it’s glorious, especially when he’s pounding his frustrations and insecurities into you. 
“Mhmm, so much better.” You clawed at his back, every thrust of his hip making you feel higher and higher, mind filled with nothing but him. 
“So pretty like this when you say my name, sweetheart… so goddamn beautiful, and all mine, yea?” He wants a confirmation, and wants to hear you say it, his head ducking between your breasts again to kiss, taste, suckle them. Make sure he never forgets it. 
“Wanna hear you say it.” He hums, the vibrations reverberating through your chest straight into your core, cock plowed so deep inside of you that you can barely speak through your cries, hitting that sweet spot that every other asshole misses. 
You’re too scared to give him what he wants. But you feel him, everywhere, and you still want more, of course, you’re his. That’s all you fucking wanted anyway. Plushy lips shake as you gaze up at him, his amber hues are so sticky-sweet that you still struggle to process it, words come out in a ramble “All yours, Eddie.”
His mouth crashes onto yours roughly, desire coursing through both of your bodies, almost interconnected. “Shit, fuckin’ hell sweetheart, ‘m not gonna last long.” His thrusts are getting sloppier, yet you feel the ravaging desire coursing through your veins. 
“So perfect,” he murmurs, the kiss he lays on your lips just as relentless, not letting you breathe or think for a goddamn second, you’re so goddamn close.
And you wonder, how the fuck did you even go two months without this? Without him?
“Eddie!” You cry out once you feel the pad of his thumb rubbing against your clit, eyes squeezed shut as your orgasm washes over you. Pure bliss overtakes you while you claw at his back, his body tenses, and cock flexes as he cums inside of you, groans and curses left in your hair. 
Minutes pass of you lying next to each other, breathless, processing everything that just transpired. And you should feel guilty, embarrassed, and should run to the hills for doing this with him again. 
But you’re obsessed, addicted. He’s like an excitement that you’re sure you’ve never felt before, running through your veins, like a fucking drug. 
Both of you get dressed in silence, the party booming outside is quick to bring the two of you back to reality, and out of the trance that he pulled you in. 
He breaks your bewilderment with a slight “Fuck.” Standing on the opposite side of the bed before he fully turns to you. “This wasn’t—I was supposed to talk to you.” He mutters, fingertips anxiously running through his tousled hair.
Caught off guard and awfully curious, you mumble, “About what?”
“The song…”
“I told you I liked it.”
His brow furrows deeper, and he shakes his head in frustration. “No, that’s not it—uh, did you not listen to the lyrics?”
“I did.”
“And?”
Your face searches his for some clarity, you take a step closer to him, the distance between the two of you was still awfully much according to him. “What are you asking of me, Eddie? Did you really think one song would just solve everything?”
“You don’t get it, do you?”
“W—what am I supposed to get Eddie? You wanna have your cake and eat it too! And I just can’t fucking do that, not anymore.”
“That’s—that’s not it!” His voice wavers, with urgency, and desperation in his tone. He takes a step forward, attempting to bridge the emotional gap, feeling so fucking frustrated that he wants to rip his hair out.
“Then fucking explain it to me!” You plead. 
“You want an explanation, fine! Fucking fine!” His frustration echoed through the room, pacing back and forth, making you take a deep breath. 
Was he… actually gonna do this? 
“You wanna know what the fuck I’ve been doing ever since you ghosted me?” He ran a hand through his hair, scared, gaze all mellow and vulnerable in a way you have never seen before. It makes your shoulders slump when you nod. 
“I go to those stupid Hollywood parties, meet asshole rockstars—the most interesting shit, yet somehow someway the thought of you will pop up in my mind, uncalled for, might I add, and then I can’t stop thinking about it, can’t stop thinking about you the whole fucking day.” Your eyes widen, trying to absorb his revelation, yet he won’t stop rambling and you feel your chest tighten with each word, fuck, he’s finally doing it.
“I—I never—shit! I never thought myself capable of feeling things like this, but fuck, you came along, with that goddamn smile, throwing a manicured middle finger right in my face, a—and just put up with my bullshit.” His voice softened, and he couldn’t help but trace the contours of your face, to desperately know if you were on the same boat, and you look at him with such glistened eyes that his heart leaps to his stomach. 
“My world flipped upside down, and you have proven me, so goddamn wrong that I don’t even know who the fuck I am anymore!” The tears almost welled in your eyes, because, fuck, there was no way this was real.  
You reached out instinctively, the corner of your mouth twitching uncontrollably. “E—Eddie, please… please stop saying things you don’t fucking mean.” 
“Things I don’t mean?” He gives you a breathy chuckle, ironic, and nowhere near funny. His eyes bore into yours, intense and searching. “Do you think I like feeling whatever the hell this is? I fucking don’t, you have me acting like someone I’m so unfamiliar with, to the point where it scares me. All I can think about is you, you, you, because you occupy every single space of my mind.” Your eyes soften, the room seemingly pulsing with his emotions, making you feel hot everywhere on your body. 
He felt the same way.
Eddie felt the same way. 
“B—but fuck I’m scared, honey, I’m so goddamn scared,” He admits, the vulnerability in his voice cutting through the tension before he’s at your side, calloused hands grabbing you by the shoulder, so softly that you melt into him.
“Because what if—what if all of this comes crashing down one day?” His voice trembles, gaze avoiding yours, he was scared, so goddamn scared of losing you. Forever. He doesn’t want that, he couldn’t afford that. 
“Just two months away from you fucking sucked. I didn’t—I don’t wanna feel these things, but you make it so hard not to.”  His forehead rests against yours, making you suck in a deep breath, it’s all so fucking sentimental, and all you wanna do this kiss him, tell him you feel the exact same way. Tell him about your fears. 
“And now I can’t fucking stop, fuck,” He confesses, admission punctuated by a frustrated sigh. 
“I wrote you a song,” he gently caresses your cheek, and you’re so scared to look up at him, to meet his tender gaze, because you know you can’t hold yourself back. 
“I came over to this party in a frenzy when I found out you’d be here,” he continued, his fingers tracing a delicate pattern along your jawline. “I—I just I haven’t even been able to touch another girl.” Your eyes snap open, you’re sure they’re almost heart-shaped now, with the adoration you look at him.
“And, do you actually fucking think I'd write songs for just anyone—” His question lingers in the air before you shut him up with a kiss, rough, sweet, and making Eddie feel dizzy all over, his head struggles to comprehend it all, breathless but he manages to react just in time.
The booming music becoming a mere background noise when he had you, mind swirling with all the possibilities and mouth begging to never stop tasting you. He wants to let you completely engulf him, feel you everywhere.
Everything he wanted and more.
He fucking hates himself for doing this, but he pulls away, mesmerized, eyes so wide that you can’t believe this is Eddie, he’s all flustered, salmon pink. And it makes a wider grin sit on your lips. “So… you—uh, what does this mean?”
You smile at him, lips widely stretching into a grin, as you shrug. “It means I feel the same, Eddie.” you admit, tone a tender reassurance. “That’s why I tried to shut you out… to try to move on, because I was scared—fuck, but I feel the same way.”
“So, does that mean we're dating now?”
“We can take things slow, figure everything out?” you mutter with a shy gaze, lips itching to twitch into a smile, again. “But I—uh—I like you, I really, really like you.”
“Gone soft on me already, sweetheart?” he mumbles with a stupid grin, making you elbow him softly, with an exaggerated playful huff. 
He’s quick to flinch, rubbing his arm as if you even delivered a powerful blow. “Ow—what the hell is wrong with you?”
“You think I’m going soft? You’re the one who wrote his feelings as an exaggerated love song!” 
He leans further slightly, his grin widening when you gave him those adorable eyes, finding you both equally amusing and endearing. “Oh… just you wait.”
You arched a brow, curiosity piqued, “What the hell does that mean?”
“The album is coming out soon, sweetheart. If you think this was an exaggeration, you should hear the whole fucking thing.”
That glint re-appears in your eyes just as quickly, gaze softening as you melt into his embrace.
“You’re an idiot, Eddie Munson.” You tease, scrunching your nose at him, so adorably that he leans down and presses a gentle kiss onto your hair.
He's an idiot, a total complete fucking idiot, but he's all yours.
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shina913 · 3 months
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Code Blue | KMG
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Code Blue
Pairing: PFWeek!Mingyu x Stylist!Fem Reader
Rating: M 🔞; NSFW
Genre: Idol au; hints of FWB; fluff; angst; smut
Warnings: porn with a hint of plot; cussing; fingering; clit play; breast play; oral (F-rcvng); penetrative, unprotected sex; creampie; soft aftercare
Word count: 3.8K words
Summary: Mingyu doesn't want any other stylist--he only wants you.
A/N: The story was prompted by this video clip and title is from The-Dream's song of the same title. I only meant for this to be something quick but the clown car stopped by my house--it was headed to Deluluville so I just got on, ofc. Nothing but horny word vomit featuring Dior/PFW Mingyu. Tiny bit of angst brought on by the song, and also because I'm me, and why the hell not? Enjoy!
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It’s fashion week and by some wild coincidence, many of your A-list celebrities are in town and they all have scheduled appearances at the big-ticket shows. Unfortunately, due to the location of a few shows and heavy traffic, you can't personally manage everyone's looks. So, you rely on your trusted assistants to cater to everyone's preferences, under your guidance, of course.
One of the clients you couldn't personally attend to was Mingyu. He called you, disappointed, when he saw your assistant, Monica, standing at his hotel room door with a clothing rack to present him with outfit options for tomorrow's show.
“Why did you send your minion here? I thought you were coming?” You hear the pout in his lowered voice.
“I'm at a fitting with another client at their hotel, and it's running late,” you whisper into the phone, then motion to an intern to approve your client's accessories. “Also, I'd appreciate it if you didn't call her that. She's my second-in-command, and I trust her judgment. I can't be everywhere at once, so some compromises had to be made.”
Mingyu’s debut appearance at a major fashion show was a big deal for him and his career. Since his appearance was announced, you prepared accordingly, discussing options based on the fashion house's lookbook. Having worked closely with Mingyu for over a year, you're well-versed in his style preferences. Before he left for Paris, you had shortlisted two outfit options, which is why you felt confident leaving Monica in charge.
“So, I’m the one compromised? I heard you’re dressing a couple of people for Chanel and another one for Saint Laurent. You can’t do that for me?” He huffs out.
You hiss through gritted teeth and excuse yourself to take the rest of your call in the bathroom. “There’s no need to be childish! Those two shows are right next to each other, while yours is across town. I can’t reach you in that short timeframe. Have you seen the traffic?”
He eventually concedes, softening his tone. “I’m sorry. I was just…hoping to see you since we're both in town. I thought that maybe we could grab dinner tonight at that restaurant we went to last time?”
You sigh, wishing it could be that simple. Instead of responding to his invitation, you run through tomorrow’s schedule. “I have another fitting tomorrow afternoon and a meeting after that. Olivier is also hosting a party tomorrow night after the Balmain show, so I don’t know—”
“I can meet you after your last event, just tell me where.”
“You can’t just show up randomly. There’s going to be other designers and stylists. You might feel out of place since you won’t know anybody,” you reason.
“You can always introduce me,” he suggests.
“As what?”
He’s silent for a few beats then says, “Your client?”
You chuckle, feeling a hint of embarrassment due to your presumptions. You've never clarified the nature of your relationship. Since you’re part of his team’s regular stylists, you have to stay professional, especially around staff and his other teammates. Occasionally, when he can steal a quiet moment, he whispers what he'd like to do when he gets you alone.
“Gyu—”
“Please? I miss you,” he pleads quietly.
Apart from the occasional sexy video calls, you haven't seen each other in over a month due to your busy work schedules. As much as you try to convince yourself that you don’t feel the same, hearing the need in his voice makes your chest twinge.
You open your mouth to answer but a knock on the bathroom door startles you. It’s the intern, telling you that your client needs your opinion on shoes.
You sigh, cursing under your breath. “I have to go. Just trust Monica, okay?”
You didn't wait for him to respond before you hung up. You didn't want to hear the disappointment in his voice. You wished you could leave all the work to your staff and head off to dinner with Mingyu, then go to bed with him. But there were too many eyes on Paris this week, especially on him.
This wasn’t like one of your clandestine meetings. He was more recognizable now, which meant photos could be snapped of you and him anywhere. When that happens, it’ll be all over.
After that call, you didn't hear from him for the rest of the night.
********
“So, how did you pick your outfit today?”
The question, posed by one of many journalists in the bustling press line of the fashion show’s venue, brings a warm smile to Mingyu's face.
“This outfit?” He took a moment before responding, his eyes had a hint of nostalgia as he revisited the process that eventually led up to the ensemble he was dressed in.
“Ah, well. My team put it together!” His response elicits laughter from both the photographers and the journalist.
“No, but seriously, I like clean, timeless looks with hints of detail and different textures to keep it interesting. My stylist knows me very well, and she has a great eye.” He finishes with that million-dollar smile of his, leaving the journalist flustered.
“Well,” the journalist says, “Sounds like someone out there deserves a nice bonus.”
“Oh, I agree!” He looks straight into the camera and gives a subtle wink at it right before the clip ends.
You chuckle and shake your head at your phone, swiping away to close out of full-screen mode.
Earlier this morning, he texted you a photo of his final look. He had chosen the blue suit and bejeweled button-down shirt, the ensemble you put together, and hoped he would go for. His choice delighted you, despite how sour your phone call ended last night.
You sent a text to Monica, thanking her for the link to Mingyu's interview clip and complimenting her on her first solo styling job.
She responded, saying that you did 90% of the work. She merely pulled together what made sense, and you approved.
You laugh. She's right, but she would at least get credit in the magazines and fashion blogs where Mingyu's photos would appear.
********
It was well past midnight when you got out of the limo with a couple of colleagues and walked into the hotel lobby, coming back from an after-party when your phone rang. You fish it out of your pocket and drunkenly squint your eyes at the caller ID.
It was Mingyu. You slide across your screen to answer it.
“Hey. Where are you?” His voice was gruff, like he had just woken up or maybe had a few drinks.
“I just got in from Olivier’s party.”
“Mm, how was that?”
“Good. We had fun. Nice way to cap off fashion week.”
He hums in response. “Are you back in your room?”
“Not yet but I’m heading up there soon. What’s up?” You step into the elevator and punch your floor number.
He sighs softly on the other line. “Nothing. Just wanted to make sure that you were back safe.”
“Uh-huh,” you say skeptically.
The elevator dings and stops at your floor. You step out and follow the hallway toward your room. “Why don't you tell me what's really going on?”
As you look ahead, you slow down upon seeing someone leaning against your doorway. How did he even… you stop that thought right away, not wanting to know all the details.
“I was hoping to say goodnight to you,” he says into the phone as you stop in front of him.
You glance at your watch and tell him, “But it’s already 2 in the morning.”
“So, good morning then?” he smirked. Then, his eyes rake you from head to toe. “You look nice.”
Judging by what you recall from your reflection in the elevator's mirror, you knew you were anything but. “Thanks. You look…clean.”
He was showered, barefaced, and dressed in sweats, his hair sticking out in every direction. Now this was the version of Mingyu you were used to seeing in private.
“Can I put you to bed?”
You bit your lip as he moved in closer. The thought was tempting, but you were aware that other staff members were staying on the same floor. But it was also late, and they were likely asleep. Perhaps a little nightcap wouldn't be too bad.
Before you can answer, you freeze when the door across the hall opens. Monica pops her head out, her sleep mask perched atop her head. “Oh, hey guys! I thought I heard voices. What are you doing here?” She directs her question at Mingyu.
“We were just talking,” he tells her with an innocent smile, relieved she didn't see him enter your room.
“Oh. Is everything okay?” She looks worried, assuming that Mingyu is there to tell you that she did an awful job, despite reassuring her that she did great filling in for you.
“All good! He and I just ran into each other in the lobby and started discussing an upcoming shoot,” you say apologetically.
“We'll try to keep it down,” Mingyu adds.
“No worries. I have a white noise machine,” Monica replies with a knowing smile. “You can be as loud as you want.”
Your mouth falls open as she casually turns back into her room and closes the door. 
Mingyu suppresses a laugh. “You think she knows?”
You smack him on the chest and roll your eyes, making him giggle some more.
“You're lucky I pay her well,” you say, reaching into your purse for your key card. You swipe it on the door sensor and step inside while he's still laughing. “Are you coming in or not?”
He laughs even harder, but he follows you right in.
********
“Did you like Monica’s picks?” you call out from the bathroom, as you finish up your skincare routine.
“You mean what you picked?” he retorts.
“I wasn't even there! That was all her.”
“He snorts at your comment. “You think she pulled those pieces all on her own without your sign-off?” He snacks on a few pomme frites that he ordered from room service during your quick shower.
“I've been training her for a couple of years. She deserves some credit,” you reply as you reenter the room in an oversized shirt, walking towards him on the couch, and taking some fries. 
“I mean, she's good, but she doesn't know me that well.” He pauses to watch you settle next to him. “You do, though.”
“Then let her get to know you! Help her out a little.” You suggest, barely looking up from your phone.
“You mean the way I got to know you? Is that what you want?” 
You tense up and purse your lips. However, considering you have no claim on Mingyu, you have no right to feel upset.
“I'm just saying—I can't always be where you need me to be and…you’re free to do what you want.” You clear your throat, attempting to sound nonchalant.
He lets out a sigh, pulling your phone down to get your attention. “Don’t you get it? I don’t want anybody else to get to know me.”
You could hear the yearning in his voice, something you didn’t quite expect.
After years in the industry, you told yourself you’d never get involved with a client. And then Mingyu came along. People were naturally drawn to him, and even you weren’t immune to his charms. He was always sweet, and you assumed he treated everyone who worked for him the same way. It wasn’t until after an overseas photoshoot followed by celebratory drinks with him and his staff, that you let your guard down.
What you initially saw as a one-time slip-up gradually became a series of encounters, each growing more intimate than the last. But you couldn’t stay in that mindset. You couldn’t get your hopes up, especially with someone as famous as he was. Not only was it bad for business but it was bad for you.
“I’m not playing games.”
“Neither am I.” He says evenly. “The fact is, I want you and I’m tired of sharing you with other people.”
You scoff at his audacious remark. “Look, it’s my job—”
He shakes his head and interjects. “You know what I mean. I want to make things official…with you. Just you.”
You sigh. “You know that we can’t.” Even though everything in you wants to scream yes.
“You can’t or won’t?”
“I know that you can't,” you counter. He's just too... public. Not only are you concerned about your reputation, but you're mostly worried about the backlash if his fans ever find out about you and him. The stakes are higher for him.
“That’s not true. It’s not like I’m a prisoner.” 
You chuckle humorlessly, as if he doesn’t see how this won’t end well for either of you. “I know how this business works, okay?”
“You think I don’t know that either? I just want us to try. I feel that there’s something more between us. And I know you feel it, too.” He reaches out and rests his hand on your bare knee.
Your skin tingles with the warmth of his touch. It’s been too long since you last felt it, and you’re ashamed to admit how much you missed it. Craved it, even.
You stare at his hand, now snaking past the hem of your shirt. “There are a million reasons why we shouldn’t do this.”
“Then let’s do it for the reasons that we should,” he retorts, lifting your chin to meet his gaze. You quickly realize that was a big mistake.
His eyes quietly pleaded, causing the knot in your stomach to tighten. Things weren't going to be easy. A million questions swirled in your head, but he quieted all except one as his face drew closer.
“How would we even do this?” You ask softly.
“Let me worry about that. I just need you to tell me that you want the same thing.”
Your hand lifts to his neck, fingers grazing his jawline, then up his cheek. He sighs softly, melting under your touch.
After a few beats, you cock an eyebrow at him. “You know, part of me feels like I’m letting you off easy. Maybe I should let you work for it a little?”
A smile ghosted his lips. He lowered his head, his voice deep and sexy. “I’ll work for it now.”
Even though you see the kiss coming, it still knocks you out. Mingyu’s lips meet yours, his tongue stroking greedily into your mouth. “C’mere,” he says roughly before urging you onto his lap.
Your phone rings, but you silence it quickly before chucking it, not caring where it lands. You tangle your fingers in Mingyu's hair, holding his head while you kiss him ardently. God, you love kissing him. The feel of his lips and the rough sounds of pleasure he makes are music to your ears. He’s ravenous for you, just as you are for him. He catches one of your wrists and pulls your hand over his chest, pressing it flat so you can feel his heart pounding.
“This all you,” he breathes against your mouth.
And with that, your walls come down. You’re done for.
You tear at each other’s clothing, yanking off each other’s shirts. You’re desperate to feel him, your lips and teeth catching every inch of his golden skin. At this point, you don’t care if other staff hear you throughout this floor.
He urges you backward until you feel the armrest of the couch behind you. Kissing you deeply, he cups one of your breasts in his hand, kneading it before pushing the bra cup down to touch your bare skin.
You fumble with the drawstring of his pants, whilst palming him through the material, feeling how hard he already is. You growl in frustration when he pulls your hands away.
He shakes his head and tuts. “You first.” Clever fingers circle your nipple and roll it, sending shocks of delight straight to your core.
The next moment, that mouth you love to kiss is on your breast, surrounding your tender nipple. His tongue flicks at the tip, his cheeks hollowing as he sucks. His other hand is between your legs, rubbing your aching cleft through your panties, teasing you even more by grinding his length against your thigh.
His scent surrounds you, just as his hands and mouth are all over you. You want some control, but he’s too strong, too quick, sliding lower before you can catch him.
He keeps his gaze on you as he tugs your panties down your legs. Your center clenches at how much that turns you on.
You sit up slightly to unclasp your bra, tossing it while Mingyu scoots back, lifting his hips to shove his sweats and boxer briefs out of the way. 
In an instant, he’s on you again–too impatient to strip all the way naked. He pins your hips down, urging your thighs further apart while he lines himself up to your center, and slowly pushes in. Lowering his head, he groans right in your ear, feeling how tight you are for him. 
You pant as he burrows deeper. Your nails dig into his back and your legs tighten around his waist. You’re wetter by the moment, rendered helpless by the way his hips move, his body mindlessly seeking a deeper connection to yours.
You gasp when he slides in deeper, your hips fighting his hold, needing to arch upward.
“Fuck, you feel so good,” he moans, pulling back an inch and thrusting again.
He pulls out abruptly, leaving you empty and aching, but not for long. His mouth is there between your legs, licking, sucking on your clit, and fluttering over the bundle of nerves. Your hands fist at the cushions, eyes rolling to the back of your head. You went from zero to sixty so fast that your orgasm takes you by surprise.
“Oh, fuck,” you breathe out.
Shivers of pleasure course through you as you suck in air. He keeps your legs spread wide with his shoulders, holding you in place, as he slips two fingers inside.  He moves them in and out slowly, circling your clit in between. He teases you a few more times, edging you, making you desperate for his cock.
The instant he shifts to slide over you again, you seize the moment to push him to the other end of the couch. He doesn’t put up a fight as you move to straddle his hips. He simply leans back, his eyes wide, cheeks flushed from arousal, waiting for your next move.
You reach for his cock under you, fisting it slowly. He fights to keep his eyes open but the pleasure you give him feels too good. His chest heaves and he lets out a drawn-out groan. 
Fuck, he was hot. And the way his hands grip your hips tightly as you position him to your center drives you insane with the need to ride him hard.
You slide the tip between your folds, coating him with your slick before your hips sink in one swift move. Your mouths fall open when your ass hits the tops of his thighs, both of you relishing in the sensation. You rest your hands on his shoulders for leverage and roll your hips toward him slowly. His neck arches, letting out a groan of pleasure between clenched teeth.
His hands reach up to cup your breasts, palming them, and pinching your nipples, making you hiss at the perfect combination of pain and pleasure. “Ah…Mingyu...fuck, yes…”
Once you find your rhythm, he thrusts upward, meeting your hips. You push your fingers into his hair, cupping the back of his head to hold him close.
He nuzzles against your temple. “You want this?”
Your nodding wasn’t enough for him.
“Say it.”
So you say it loud and clear for him. “Yes, I want this. I want you.” 
With a shift of his hips, the tip of his cock notches into your opening. Pressure builds as he fucks into you. Slow, easy thrusts that work him into you with every lunge. Your entire body tenses, as he sinks deep into your core. You feel yourself inch closer and closer to your climax.
Your grip on him tightens, and you grind your hips, matching his every move to direct him into where it feels good.
“Kiss me,” you gasp.
Soon after his mouth makes contact with yours, your body surrenders to him. Tears sting your eyes when the tension in you breaks, and you come harder than you did the first time.
The pulsing only deepens as Mingyu continues to pound into you, chasing his own climax. His teeth sink into your shoulder as he finally reaches it, tethering his orgasm to yours.
It's one of the most intense sensations you've ever felt. Despite your body's natural instinct to pull away, your mind resists. The steady thrum of your heartbeat soothes you, and you stay there, quietly relishing the comfort in each other's arms.
********
Reluctantly, you take a second shower, with him doing most of the work cleaning you up. Afterwards, you crawl into bed. You watch him, carefully tucking you in, mildly annoyed that he can move and think clearly while you're still stuck in a post-orgasmic haze.
When he finally flops into bed beside you, you turn to face him. “How are you still moving around?”
He props his head in his hand and grins, his fingers running lightly down your cleavage. “Did you forget the ten minutes it took me to get up?”
“I’m making sure you’re down for the count next time,” you pout playfully.
“Hmm...” Leaning over you, he presses his lips to yours. “I’m just happy there’s a next time.”
You nod, a smile tugging at the corners of your mouth. “Lots of next times.”
Reaching up, you brush his hair back from his forehead. His post-sex look is even more breathtaking. His face is softer, his eyes are brighter, and that smile… you sigh deeply. He looks so happy that it twists your heart to think that you had a hand in that without even really trying. Yet, this also worries you, knowing it would be devastating if that smile ever faded.
“I’m scared, you know,” you confess.
He lifts your hand and presses his lips to it. A few moments of silence pass before he replies, “Yeah. Me too.” You don’t even want to think about how the staff will react when they see him walk out of your room in a few hours.
His facial expression tenses, and you immediately regret bringing it up. You pull him closer, holding him tightly as a silent apology.
“Can we agree not to bring anything but us into bed?” he murmurs, running his nose along your cheek before pulling away slightly to look at you. “I just want us to have some place where nothing else matters but you and me.”
“Okay.” You nod, your hands stroking up and down his back. Burying your face in his chest, you breathe in, letting the familiar scent of his skin ground you in the moment.
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alphabetboyluvr · 10 months
Text
landslides - 001 | goldrush - jjk
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part title credit: goldrush - taylor swift
everybody wonders what it would be like to love you... i can't dare to dream about you anymore... it never will be...
pairing: officeworker!jungkook x female reader (coworkers)
premise: jungkook asks you to dog sit over chuseok. he doesn't ask you to steal the empty spaces in his head, the dreams he's yet to have, nor the idea of you always just being 'you' to him - and yet, like a thief in the night (with his own damn dog as your accomplice), you do.
warnings: fluff more than angst, but it's not clean cut - there's also a touch of smut. office worker jk, fuck boy (but kind!) jk, mentions of his workplace escapades, oc is dating mingyu (yay), oc sorta fancies jk (boo), solo masturbation (m), vivid thoughts of shagging (jk is a perv! wow! unlike me to write him as randy bastard!), lots of facetime calls, oc and jk are fundamentally flawed as a pairing, genuine friendship, daddy kink? ig? but like kinda sweet?, jungkook has a complex brain house and you've been banished to his annexe!! he also has a thing for claw clipped hair lol
wordcount: 6.8K
note from holly: so... i dogsat (? idk if thats a word) for my friend last chuseok and this was the result hahahaha. my friends dog (boba <3) is so tiny and small!! but i've always been a big dog girlie so bam was fun to write. i really love this one and have recently found all of my old notes from around that time detailing the rest of the couples lives, so pt. 2 is in progress.
minors dni // cross posted to wattpad
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Bam notices the storm roll in before you do. His ears twitch, head lifting from its rested perch on his paws.
“What’s up, baby? Hey?” You coo, his sudden shift obviously prompted by something. His snout begins to twitch, too, and his bottom lip shakes as a small growl vibrates from his throat. His eyes are on the window, stalking the clouds as they roll past. “Hey.”
You sit up a little straighter to lean forward and scratch behind his ear. He leans into it, but doesn’t take his eyes away from the sky.
“You see the rain, huh?” You hum, looking between the pup and the window ahead. You can’t place it yet - it’s too far in the distance - but you find yourself coming to sit beside him. He doesn’t lean up against you like he usually does. Just continues to lightly growl.
There’s no threat behind his noises, no malice - he’s just shouting back at the thunder you can’t hear. When you see a bolt of lightning flash in the distance just beyond the city skyline, you know that it won’t be long until Jungkook’s apartment block is drenched in the weather.
It’s just gone midnight when he calls. His face is a little puffy, smile a little lopsided.
“Hey Bammie,” he coos into the camera. You’ve got it angled down to where the pup is resting his head on your knee, peacefully unwinding after his long walk. Bam doesn’t stir at Jungkook’s voice, so he tries again. “Bammie?”
The way he elongates his puppy’s name is sweet - a tone of voice reserved only for his most trusted companion. He sure as hell has never spoken to you like that.
“Sorry, bud,” you say as you lift the camera up to your face. He’s pouting. “I don’t think the vibrations sound the same through the phone.”
“I miss him,” he says not even caring to acknowledge your thought process. “Is he okay? Was he good on his walk?”
“He’s all good,” you smile. “Best boy in the world. None of the other dogs you mentioned were down at the park, so it was just us two.”
He nods into the camera and purses his lips. “They might all be away. Visiting family.” He rolls over in his bed and lets out a yawn. “How’s the apartment? Got everything you need?”
You nod back. “All good. Might have eaten my way through your cheese stash already. I’m gonna shower then head to bed in a minute.”
“Make sure you leave the bathroom door open a little,” he says. “He’ll whine if not.”
“Will do.”
“Thank you,” he says. “I really appreciate you doing this. He hasn’t been too much work, has he?”
“He’s good as gold,” you say as you switch to the back camera. The view is serene, and Jungkook’s lips instantly settle into a smile. Bam is up on the sofa with you, snuggled against your lap. The skyline twinkles through his window, the reflection of his mood lamp obscuring some of it - but he’s quietly pleased that you’re using it. It’s how he normally winds down, too. Main lights off, galaxy on his ceiling. Must make Bam feel a little more at ease. You go to scratch behind his ear, and he huffs a little, all content and cosy. “Thanks for asking. He’s never too much work. You trained him well.”
“Hmm,” Jungkook hums. “Could have trained you a little better, though.”
He laughs when you switch the camera back to your face, mouth open, brows knitted together. “Me?!”
“Yes, you,” he grins now but tries to hide it; to restore the stoicism to his face. It doesn’t work. “What did I tell you about the sofas?”
You purse your lips together as if you’re not smiling. He’s got you there, admittedly.
“Look, he’s just so cute!” Despite the fact you’ve turned the camera back onto Bam, Jungkook can tell you’re pouting. “How could I say no?!”
“Easily!” Jungkook laughs. “That’s how he became so well trained! I leave for one night and-”
“Shuuuush,” you laugh, and when the camera switches back to you, Jungkook can’t help but let his smile persist. You look tired, and so does he, but there’s something about the call that has made you forget all about the fact you were planning on going to bed soon. “My swamp now. My rules.”
“My swamp,” he protests, but the look on his face is so saccharine that you can’t take him seriously. He thinks the same could be said for you. “Anyways, it’s late. Go get your shower. If you need more towels, there are some in the cupboard by the boiler. Don’t forget to turn the vent on - it’s the switch next to the light.”
“Alright, will do,” you nod and then yawn. Bam pricks his head up. “Hey baby,” you speak to him. “Did I wake you?”
“Show me him.”
You switch the camera around to where you’re scratching at Bam’s ear. He leans his head into the scratch, thoroughly enjoying it, your long nails far scratchier than Jungkook’s. It’s not the same - Jungkook is far stronger, so is a little rougher which suits Bam just fine. Still, he likes your scratches better than no scratches at all.
Jungkook whines. “I miss him.”
“He misses you, too. Want me to call in the morning?”
Jungkook shakes his head. “We’re up early tomorrow, heading over to Haedong Yonggungsa in the morning. Probably be up before you. Send me pictures though.”
“Will do. Night, buddy.”
“Night gremlin,” he smiles, and then begins to coo. “Night Bammie. Daddy misses you.”
He wishes you wouldn’t look at him in the way that you do when he says that; lips turned upwards at the very corners, dimples pressing into your cheeks, eyes bright.
“Shut up,” he says, but you’re already laughing.
“Daddy.”
“I am his dad!”
“Daddy.”
“Oh my god, fuck off,” he laughs. “Have nightmares, gremlin.”
“Sweet dreams, Daddy.”
“Fuck off!”
You hang up before he can protest your taunts any more, though he does text you one final ‘fuck off,’ and a reminder that you can bolt his front door if it will make you feel safer.
His apartment is in a high-rise, and his neighbourhood is far nicer than yours. You do the bolt up regardless, and think that it’s sweet that he considered your comfort enough to remind you about it.
Bam sits by the sliding door of the bathroom, the tips of his paws just teetering over the line of the door frame. He rests his head on his legs, snout angled towards the hallway. It still makes you feel a little weird. You don’t really want a dog watching you shower, even if he is a dog and has no real understanding of what’s happening - so you turn your back to him and just reassure yourself that Jungkook showers with the door open wide.
It’s a funny thing, to think about your co-worker’s showering habits. Not one that you’ve ever thought to indulge in before - but Jungkook would go ballistic if he heard you refer to him as your ‘co-worker.’ You’re friends. Pretty good ones, at that.
You’re level players at your company; earn the same wage, hold the same rank. There’s not really any competition between the pair of you - you work in different departments - but are often paired together when the two sections merge for joint projects. You make for a good team.
Over the years, you and Jungkook have also learned that you’re a highly capable team when it comes to playing beer pong against your colleagues on Friday nights, and at the mixed-doubles tennis tournament that your company insists on you participating in every year. It’s either that or be on the Christmas Party Planning committee, and you know which you’d rather do.
Thinking about tinsel in August? No, thank you.
There is however one crucial flaw to your partnerships: how you live your lives. How you manage your money.
See, Jungkook is frugal. He makes big investments - his apartment, his cars, games consoles, Bam. Doesn’t spunk his cash away on the small shit. His apartment is in the heart of the city, only a few floors from the very top. He gets a birds-eye view of the world around him. You don’t even want to imagine how much his deposit cost.
Probably more than you have in your savings. You do spunk your cash away - on the small shit, no less. Clothes, cafes, that sort of stuff. Nothing that holds permanence. It frustrates Jungkook to no end. He thinks you could have a better life if you just used your money wisely - but you’re happy in your slightly cramped apartment, happy when the serotonin of a shopping spree boosts your mood, happy when you’re laughing with your friends over coffee and cake.
You wouldn’t be happy if you felt restricted. You think that Jungkook is.
He disagrees. He has enough in the bank to buy whatever he wants. He has financial freedom.
But there’s a difference. You’re both free in your own ways.
It’s for that reason you’d never work as a couple. Would infuriate one another far too much. Everyone who is close to you both knows this; how badly suited you would be. They’ll joke about all of the women in the office trying to get their mitts on Jungkook - even the married ones - but not you.
It’s funny because they’re right. Everybody wants him.
He collects stars from their eyes and accumulates them in his own. The girls blush and giggle about how he looks at them with galaxies, but they don’t realise what a thief he is. Don’t realise he’s stolen their shine, and incorporated it into his own. A spotlight follows him, and you enjoy watching the show unfold with an amused grin whenever a new secretary catches his gaze for the first time.
It’s not intentional. You don’t think Jungkook realises he does it. In fact, he hadn’t realised that it was such a pattern of behaviour until the midnight squalor of a dive bar had you talking about office conquests, and how the photocopier room had seen his bare ass more than it had seen toner changes.
“Shouldn’t shit where you eat, Jeon,” you’d grinned.
“Firstly, that’s a horrible phrase - and secondly, it takes two to tango. They’re just as much to blame as I am.”
But they’re not. He’s the only repeat offender.
“And anyways,” he had deflected, sinking down the final dregs of his beer. “Don’t act like you’re some kind of saint. Everyone’s fucked a colleague at least once.”
You’d just raised an eyebrow.
“You’re telling me you haven’t?”
“Like I said - shouldn’t shit where you eat, Jeon.”
Now, if he’d have said housemate, you would have folded. Downed your drink. Ordered a repeat round.
Something about a shared space - domestication - really gets you. It’s joint laundry loads, shared dinners, movie nights; grocery shopping, D.I.Y. furniture, arguments about who gets the bigger room. More often than not, it never matters, ‘cause you just end up staying in theirs.
You live alone now. After the third time, you knew better than to let yourself fall into the trap once more.
He learns about your affliction a few months later, and goes on tease you relentlessly.
In fact, he mentions it when he propositions you a few weeks before Chuseok. You had both spent the last couple of holiday periods overworked, slogging through the festivities. For the first time since either of you can remember, your workload has eased up.
You’ve already told him you’re planning on doing sweet, sweet fuck all. You’ve told your family you will be working, because you just want to finally breathe for a while; stay in with a tub of ice cream and your favourite films. Speak to no one. Do nothing.
“I’ve got a favour to ask you,” he had said as he approached your desk before the end of the day. It was a Friday, but you weren’t heading for after-work drinks with the usual suspects like you typically did. You had a date, instead. A third one with the same guy - Mingyu - which felt like a miracle. Even Jungkook was a little shocked that the poor guy wasn’t sick of you.
“Go on,” you had mused as you checked over your to-do list for the following week.
“You gotta promise me something first.”
“Promise you what?”
“That you won’t fall in love with me.”
You’d swatted him away the ruler on your desk, and told him to get his head out of his ass. “Been able to resist your charms this long, Jeon. Give me some credit.”
“It’s only ‘cause you know I’d reject you, you little gremlin.”
“I thought you wanted a favour? Funny way of going about it.”
“Sorry, sorry. You’re right,” he had conceded with an apologetic smile. “Forgive me.”
“What do you want?”
“How would you feel about potentially staying at mine over Chuseok to look after Bam? My parents want us to head down to Busan for the weekend and see relatives seeing as I’m finally free and know it’s a big ask but I-”
“Oh my God, yes?!” You had smiled so wide Jungkook thought you might fracture your jaw.
You love Bam.
In fact, he might just be your favourite thing about Jungkook.
Occasionally you walk him with Jungkook on the weekends, when you’re both hungover and need to get out of a slump. You’ve grown up with pets, but moving to the city in your early twenties to pursue your career meant apartment living.
You’re a rural girl deep down, and would never want to keep a pet in a high rise.
Jungkook manages it, but he goes home at lunchtime to walk Bam during the winter. In the summer, when it’s too hot, he goes home at lunch regardless, to lounge around with Bam under the air con.
Sometimes, you go with him. Bam is always pleased to see you.
Jungkook lied and said he asked around because he didn’t want to inconvenience you.
Truth is, he wouldn’t have trusted anyone else with his baby. He’d never spent a night away from Bam. Hated the idea. Despised it, in fact. He would have just taken Bam with him to Busan, but didn’t think it would be fair to force him on the journey from Seoul.
Over in Busan, when Jungkook hangs up, the conversation isn’t over. It continues in his head.
“Hey, wait…”
“Mhhm?”
“You just… look nice tonight, that’s all.”
He thinks you’d blush. Would tell him to lay off the soju. Accuse him of getting too drunk for a family get-together. He’d let you. Would take the beating of your false accusations, because it would be far easier than admitting he’s not had a single drop.
He thinks of the hug he’ll give Bam when he gets home; how wild his tail will waggle, how he’ll jump all over the place, and how you’ll be giggling. In his mind, you’ll be smiling just as wide as he is.
You’d stay for dinner. Jungkook would order from your favourite place to say thank you. Bam would snuggle up to Jungkook - on the sofa - and you’d be on the other side, stroking his back. He’d be happy. Bam, not Jungkook. But also Jungkook. Hopefully you, too.
When the time would approach for you to go home, you’d offer to help. Rinse out the containers. Hair up in a claw clip, t-shirt off your shoulder like it so often is.
Jungkook doesn’t notice, but his hands begin to trail down his body as he thinks of you. His phone is still on his chest, rising and falling with every beat of his heart. The tips of his fingers stroke against his skin.
He thinks of you laughing with him about something inconsequential. You’d flick water in his direction when he’d make some joke at your expense. It’d all be in good humour.
But then he’d flick some back at you, and water war would break out. Bam would run excitedly between the pair of you, Jungkook chasing you around the kitchen island with wet hands - and you’d do the exact same back. You’d flick water over the counter, tap still running and he’d call you a gremlin.
There’s a smile on his lips as he thinks of his. His hands roam further south. He’s ticking at his abdomen. It’s nice. Feels calm. He likes to engage his senses when he thinks of scenarios like these. Makes it feel more real.
But then he’s thinking of your shirt and the fact it’s white.
And then he’s imagining catching up with you, holding you captive as he angles the tap towards your face. You’ll be shrieking and scrambling to get away, Bam by your feet, Jungkook laughing.
He’d relent, but only enough for you to twist to face him.
Jungkook’s fingers are by his thighs. Stroking. Caressing. He’s avoiding his cock. Knows it’s firm. His index finger spreads to his balls. Teases.
And then he thinks of your body pressed against his torso, your ass to the counter.
You’d both be soaked.
He’d look at your lips. Look in your eyes. Feel your chest against his. He’d swallow hard.
It’s at this point he forgets about Bam in the scenario. It’s just you and him.
His palm rests over the length of his cock. Presses down. His hips roll.
He’d tell you that you’ve made a mess. You’d tell him to clean it up. His heart would be racing. So would yours.
And it’s funny, because his heart actually is. It’s beating so fucking hard in his childhood bedroom, that he thinks his parents must be able to hear it through the walls.
He’s in a far-too-firm single bed, but in his head, he’s with you in his kitchen.
He begins to grip his cock, long fingers wrapping around his shaft. He pulls up. Pushes back down. Says your name. Whines.
He doesn’t even really realise he’s doing it.
Just thinks about you.
Thinks about the way it would feel to sink his lips into yours; the first bite of a forbidden fruit. Thinks about that quick tongue of yours, and if it would be just as quick to find its way into his mouth. Thinks about your manicured nails that Bam loves so much, and how they’d scratch against his scalp instead. Thinks about the way his hips would rock against you, kind of like they are now; pulsing beneath his duvet.
His mind jumps. Skips the foreplay. Doesn’t mean to - but the thoughts are intrusive. Insidious. Insatiable. He can’t help it.
He pushes up into his hand. Pauses. Waits out the feeling. Retracts. Repeats.
In his head, it’s you that he’s pushing into.
The sensation is entirely different, granted, but - fuck - he hasn’t gotten himself off all week and hasn’t had sex in far longer, so it all feels the same to him.
He hasn’t worked out the mental logistics.
His imagination is jumping from the kitchen to his bedroom and then back to the kitchen again. Can’t decide where all of this is happening - and then suddenly, he finds himself railing you in the utility room.
You’re perched above the washer, held in place by him. He can smell the laundry detergent. He’s got spotlights in the room, but they’re turned off. Only lights from the hallway and the city skyline illuminate you.
It’s obscure. The shadows in his head conceal you a little. He’s gripping your waist beneath your shirt. The baby gate which keeps Bam out of the laundry room is closed.
You’re not talking, just fucking, fucking, fucking and -
“Fuck,” he whines, hand is jerking at his cock, heart rate stuttering.
He shouldn’t be thinking about you like this.
Shouldn’t let his mind jump again to a point where you’re fucking naked, and your sodden shirt is on a pile of yet-to-be-done laundry.
But then it jumps again, and one of his towels is on the floor. He’s laying down, back against it. The same position that he’s in now in his childhood bedroom - but he’s thinking about you. The silhouette of your body. The warm curves of your body. The way you bounce on his cock and then-
Oh god, it’s torture the way his cock throbs. Pre-cum leaks from his tip as his speed builds. It’s just a fantasy. Nothing more nothing less. But it’s you. And then he’s thinking about pulling you down for a kiss, and the scent of your perfume and the way you’d moan into his mouth and then his legs are shaking, torso tensing.
He’s taking it too far. Too fucking far. You. Fuck. He can’t. But he doesn’t stop. Just keeps going. Fucks his hand like it’s your pussy.
He’s pulling himself closer, closer, closer, and then he thinks about your voice, and the way you called him Daddy, and he can’t help himself. The pressure that releases in his stomach is catastrophic. Jungkook mewls your name. Calls you baby. Unloads all over himself. White hot cum paints his belly. Seeps into his belly button. Makes a mess of his hand as he coaxes the last few ropes out. It’s been a while since his last nut, but the amount he produces is not fucking normal.
It rolls down the side of his toned torso, Jungkook swallowing harshly as he tries to regulate his breathing. He doesn’t think he can. Doesn’t know what to do with himself. Just kind of lays there. Curses. Knots his brows together. Is frustrated with himself.
You’ve been friends for years. He’s never done anything like this before. He chalks it up to nothing more than him just being a little too horny for his own good. Cleans himself off. Puts his phone on charge. Berates himself for being a piece of shit. Spends a good ten or so minutes staring at the ceiling with an empty head before he falls asleep.
And it’s funny, because when you wake up in the morning, panties damp, the dream you had about Jungkook railing you in his own damn bed, you find yourself looking across the space where he usually sleeps. You reach ouch. Stroke the emptiness. Curse. Spend the rest of the day unbearably horny. It frustrates you. Makes you snappy with Jungkook when he calls.
He asks if you’ve seen Mingyu. You tell him no. He says maybe you should - but makes sure to add, “He’s still not allowed in my apartment.”
“I’m not gonna bring anyone into your space, Jungkook.”
It’s something he knows, and something he trusts you not to do, but he’s still reinforcing boundaries. Making sure that there are still some left. He thinks that if he pushes you closer to someone else, it will sort his brain out. Alleviate him of the guilt that he’s feeling.
But you don’t see Mingyu.
When Jungkook calls again that evening to find you walking Bam alone, he’s pleased. Doesn’t want some guy you’re fucking anywhere near his most prized possession. Bam, that is. Not you. But now that he thinks of it, he finds he doesn’t want Mingyu anywhere near you, either.
“Good day?” You ask, voice a lot lighter than it had been earlier.
Jungkook nods, but he doesn’t really smile. “I miss Bammie.”
You pout. “He misses you too. He’s gonna be so excited when you get home.”
The camera switches to the back camera so he can watch Bam bound along the path. He’s on his lead, snout sniffing in all the flowerbeds. It’s dark out, but there are enough lights on the trail for him to be able to see clearly.
“How is he? Eating okay? Going to the bathroom okay?”
“Eating like a champ, and producing shits to confirm that,” you say flatly. It’s definitely your least favourite part of animal ownership - but the reward is so much greater than having to pick up shit off a sidewalk.
“That’s my boy,” Jungkook grins, before turning his focus to you. “You all good? Seemed a little stressed earlier.”
Jungkook’s expression doesn’t change when the front camera flips back to you, but he finds his heart racing again. When you turn your head to check the car that’s driving past, he notices your hair is up with a claw clip. Just like it was in his… thoughts about you the night before. He likes how attentive you are - how you checked the source of the noise. You’re protective. Follow your instincts. Thinks you’re the best person he could have asked to look after Bam.
“I’m all good,” you say, and you really are.
“I know it’s not exactly the relaxing Chuseok you were planning-”
“Jungkook, it’s fine,” you smile. “It’s been nice. I like Bammie far more than I like you.”
“Understandable.”
You both smile, and Jungkook begins to babble about his day, telling you stories about his parents, and his weird cousin who never knows when to not say inappropriate things, and the aunt who keeps trying to set him up with all of her friends’ daughters.
“Don’t shit where you eat,” you remind him. “Sounds too close to home. Your auntie would never be out of your business.”
“I know, I know,” he rolls his eyes. “And hey - it’s been, like, a year since I last did that! Cut me some slack, gremlin. Anyways, Mingyu works in our building. You’re basically shitting where you eat.”
“I’m actually… I think I’m gonna cool things off with him.”
“Oh?”
“It’s like not a big deal. I’m just not really feeling it.”
“I’m sorry.”
“No, you’re not.”
“No, you’re right. I’m not,” Jungkook admits, but is sombre as he does so. He remembers how happy you’d seemed after the first few dates. “But I am sorry that you haven’t found the right guy yet, gremlin.”
“Who knows, maybe I’ll find the love of my life at the dog park tonight.”
“You are not allowed to use my baby as a flirting tactic.”
“No?”
“No.”
“Too late - I’m already here and there is an absolute DILF. Byeeeee.”
“Wait, no-”
You hang up before he can finish, with a grin on your face to rival a Cheshire cat.
The park is empty. Not a single DILF in sight. You ignore his call when he rings back. Will let him sweat it for a bit.
Jungkook lies awake that night.
Doesn’t do much.
His family are still chatting in the sitting room, but he can’t draw himself away from the sanctuary of his own private space, where your voice is still echoing around the room. He’s starting to understand why you’d been craving your space so much for the holiday period.
He doesn’t wanna have to return to the room with a false smile, and a feeling in the pit of his stomach that could rival the ache of getting the ferry across Busan harbour during monsoon season.
Doesn’t want to form cognitive thoughts that distract him from his mindless reflections of you.
Jungkook’s mind works like a house, and right now he’s in the annexe.
He rarely ever goes in there.
Finds he gets too comfortable and neglects the rest of the house. He’s got a garden to tend to, a kitchen to clean, and beds to make - but why would he leave the annexe when it has everything he needs? He’s comfortable there.
It’s normally reserved for the hyper-fixations he’s trying not to fixate on. He locks them away. Hasn’t really visited since he got hooked on GTA5 when he should have been studying for the University Entrance Exam. It’s still there, and he knows better than to pop it in his games console - but there’s someone else on the couch, now. It’s not just him in his mind-annexe. Someone’s in his space. He daren’t let himself go further into the room.
In fact, he’s desperately trying to jump across to the main house. Get himself out of the thoughts that are gonna consume him. He needs to close that God damn door.
But he watches the figure like a car crash. He’s scared. Unable to look away.
Not for fear of it being a monster hidden in the depths of his mind.
Quite the opposite, actually.
Monsters don’t wear their hair up with butterfly-shaped claw clips, or let the clasp of their necklace trail down their spine like that. Monsters don’t twist their back out of habit just to make it click. Monsters don’t spend their days doodling in a journal like the figure on his couch is doing.
But you do.
An iteration of Bam rests up against Jungkook’s leg in his mind, nose wet, tail lightly wagging, so he puts his hand on his pup’s shoulder for comfort. To support him. To guide him away from the annexe and back into the damn main house.
“C’mon,” he says to Bam, expecting him to leave. Expecting him to follow his commands.
It’s his head, after all - but Bam doesn’t heed his commands. Instead, his claws click against the hardwood floor and towards the figure on Jungkook’s couch. A palm outstretches, and Bam leans into it. Hums in content as a set of dark nails scratch at his ear.
“Hey, baby Bammie,” the figure sings and Jungkook knows that voice. Knows it so well that it’s hardly a surprise it’s embedded into his brain so perfectly.
And he knows.
He knows if he lets the person turn around exactly who it’s gonna be. He knows that he can’t let it happen. He won’t.
Because he and you are friends; nothing more, nothing less. Incompatible at best. A match made in hell; so wrong it could never be right.
Jungkook sits up. Shakes his head. The world in his mind tears away into darkness. He stands and tells himself to get a grip before joining his family. He needs the distraction. Needs to have cognitive thoughts. Can’t let himself get trapped. Can’t let him kid himself into thinking that you’re anything more than his friend.
It’s just cause he’s missing Bam, he reasons. Emotions are getting all mixed up. It’s the affection he feels for his beloved best friend that is getting misplaced onto you - although, if he thinks about it (which he won’t (knows better by this point (knows his mind can’t be trusted to behave))), he’d realise that you are his best friend.
It’s unfair to compare you to Bam because you’re an entirely different species, but there’s no other human he likes better than you.
One more day, and he’ll be home. One more day, and he won’t have to call you when he’s all sleepy and confused over his feelings. One more day, and things will be back to normal. One more measly day.
And then he’ll be reunited with Bam, and he won’t have the stress of family or thinking about the week of work ahead to contend with.
One more day. He can do this.
He will do it. Will barrel home at the speed of lightning; will stop only for red lights and maybe the occasional gas station snack, potato spirals on a pointed wooden skewer and deep-fried chicken slathered in a sauce he can never quite figure out the recipe for.
He’ll think about picking you up some bungeoppang - the ones filled with choux, not red bean paste - because he knows that you adore it so. There have been occasions when you’ve begged him to drive you out of the city to the large gas station out West just so you could have bungeoppang from one specific stall.
The signage is faded, and the prices haven’t changed since 2009, but that’s how you know it’s the good shit. A family recipe batter passed down for generations. The woman who makes it is always the same, and though she never remembers you, you always remember her. Beam so brightly Jungkook thinks he’s going blind whenever you spot her.
It’s only because of that one time you’d showed up with the sole mission to retrieve some of the delicious delicacies, only to be confronted with a handwritten ‘closed today, back tomorrow’ note taped to the menu. You never know when the next family emergency or trip out of town might be for your beloved bungeoppang-making Ajumma.
It’s a little after midday when Jungkook’s car rolls into the gas station. He’ll be home soon.
He tells himself that he’s just doing as he always does. Will get his tornado potato. Wolf it down. Go back for some chicken, maybe some tteok.
He’s stayed out of the annexe today. Doesn’t even think about the doorway because he knows the magnetic pull is far too strong for his cobalt heart.
Had ignored your call this morning - sorry, just saying goodbye to everyone. will see you later. - and had pushed all thoughts of you to the side. He’s even tried to stop thinking about Bam because thoughts of him will inevitably lead to thoughts of you and Jungkook is getting dizzy, quite frankly. It’s like he’s chasing his tail, never knowing when to admit defeat.
At least Bam gets enjoyment out of it when he does it. All Jungkook gets is lingering feelings of remorse.
But as he hits the home straight, a small paper bag full of choux bungeoppang cooling down on his passenger seat, his head starts to clear. He’s fixed the lock on the gate that leads to the annexe. Won’t go down that path.
Jungkook arrives ahead of schedule. Parks his car, and doesn’t tell you he’s arrived. Leaves his bag in the boot of the car, but picks up the pastries from his passenger seat.
Opens the door of his apartment quietly. You don’t hear it. Are too busy dancing around the living room with Bam to some mid-noughties classic.
“Hey,” you laugh a little breathlessly as finally notice him. He’s leaning against the wall. Is wearing his glasses, to make up for the long drive. You think it’s a crying shame he doesn’t wear them at work, too.
“Was I interrupting something?”
“No, not all,” you say. There are deep creases below your eyes, testament to the size of your smile. “Me and baby Bammie-” you reach over and stroke at his sides, a little rough and tumble, but perfectly joyous “- were just burning off a little energy before you got home.”
Jungkook crouches, arms outstretched for Bam. The puppy knocks into Jungkook’s chest, legs all moving slightly out of coordination, excitable whines sounding in his throat. His tail wags so fast you think he’d be able to produce electricity if he really tried.
They match each other’s energy; delirious happiness, content only when in one another’s presence.
“Hey buddy,” he coos. “Daddy’s home. I missed you. Missed me too, hey? C’mere.”
His strong hands stroke Bam’s sides, and you watch how playful they both are with unadulterated awe. It seems absurd how similar the two of them are; man and his best friend.
“He was lost without you,” you confirm.
“It’s that right?” Jungkook pouts as he scratches behind Bam’s ears, cradling his face in his hands. “Did Bammie miss Daddy?”
Bam barks. Yes.
“Hey, I’m sorry, boy. I’m home now, though. Daddy’s home.”
Yes, you think. Yes, he is.
The night dissolves much like Jungkook thought it would. You stay for dinner. Watch crappy entertainment shows, and laugh at how absurd people can be. There’s warmth in his apartment, even though he hasn’t turned the heating on.
“You’ll never know how much I appreciate this,” Jungkook says softly as midnight approaches. Bam sighs. There’s rain on the windows, but the storm doesn’t bother him tonight. Not in the slightest. “Thank you.”
Your head shakes. Smile perseveres. “Happy to do it. You know how much I love Bam.”
Silence wraps around your words like a velvet bow, pulled taut. There’s no double knot, but there needn’t be. It isn’t unravelling any time soon.
“So,” you change topic. “How long do you reckon it will take the new secretary to fall in love with you? I’m thinking maybe four days.”
Jungkook wants to make a joke; tease you about how your mind jumped from how much you love his dog, to the idea of loving him. Not you loving him, granted, but it only took a few electrical signals between neurons for you to get there. Must associate him with love pretty closely.
“Four days? Far too quick.” Jungkook pauses. “You’ve been staying here for four days. Reckon that’s an appropriate amount of time to fall in love with someone?”
He’s being facetious. It’s all in jest and yet you feel your heart beat a little faster. Only for a moment. There’s a mild concern in your features, fearful that he can somehow sense the thoughts you’ve been having; the fantasies, the daydreams, the moments of weakness.
You look at him with eyes he doesn’t recognise. Your lashes are low. Sultry, even. Suggestive. Teasing.
And then, they roll.
“Jeon, you have those poor girls on their knees within a single ‘hello’. Don’t act like you don’t know it, you big old flirt.”
“If Bam wasn’t so peaceful, I’d kick you,” he mumbles, stroking at the dark fur behind his pup’s ear. Bam sighs, content to have him back. There’s a smile on Jungkook’s lips. Both are perfectly content. Both are happy to be with the people they like the most in the world.
“He’d just defend me,” you taunt. There’s a serenity to your jokes, and light-hearted banter that means nothing more, nothing less than just enjoyment of one another’s company. “I’m his favourite now.”
Jungkook laughs. Scratches a little firmer behind Bam’s ear. “You hear that, boy? Gremlin really thinks you’d choose her over me.”
You pull your torso back. Turn your body to face his. Let disbelief wash over your features, as if Jungkook saying shit like that’s a surprise. The movement alerts Bam, his head lifting, the chain links of his collar rattling. He looks over to you, then back to Jungkook.
“He LOVES me.”
“I thought dogs are supposed to take after their owners, though?” Jungkook teases. “And I can’t fuckin’ stand you.”
Your playful shock dissolves into narrowed eyes and a suppressed grin. Bam’s looking at you again, so you cup his dainty face and scratch the underside of his jaw. “You hear that, baby Bammie? How are you so lovely when your Daddy is such an asshole?”
Jungkook’s steady gaze lifts to you from Bam. You’re still cooing at the puppy, scratching beneath his snout, but Jungkook’s back in that damn annexe again. He isn’t smiling - but his eyes are unbelievably soft.
So, so velvety. Like satin, maybe; ribbons tied around ponytails. Brushed cotton, perhaps; his still-warm bedsheets fresh out of the tumble dryer.
Soft, like he imagines your hair would be; released from its claw clip, falling around his face. Soft, like he imagines your lips would be; pressed against his, in the privacy of his bedroom. Soft, like he imagines your laugh would be; soundtracking the living alarm clock that is Jeon Bam, as he bundles onto Jungkook’s bed at just gone six-thirty the following morning.
But then you look up at him, and his stare is hard. Still sparkling, yes - but diamonds, not stars. Concrete speckled. Pennies tossed in an empty well; the steel bolt of his door which keeps the outside world at bay.
Hard, like he imagines your teeth would be; tugging on his bottom lip in the shadows of his bedroom. Hard, like he imagines your nails would be; leaving a trail of ruby red sin down his back. Hard, like he imagines your laboured breaths would be; lips resting ajar against his, your very essence pouring into him as he pushes into you.
Hard. Soft. Confusing and conflicting, and just so unbelievably him.
“What?” you question, bemused by the way his demeanour changed. “‘Daddy’ really gets you, huh?”
“Does fuck all for me,” he says with a little temperance, but there’s a smirk on his lips. His tongue runs along the inside of his cheek.
A few have tried the moniker on him, but it never fit well. Would fall from their lips and crash to his bedroom floor. He’d just kiss them to shut them up.
But you… You have him reconsidering. Have him a little hot beneath his sweats.
It’s not really the idea of being your Daddy, but the concept of being one full-stop that has him adjusting his legs slightly. He’s a man of big investments, after all. No greater investment than starting a life with another person. He likes the idea of it.
Makes him think of you talking with a toddler - I’m not sure, baby, go ask Daddy -and the pitter-patter of feet across the hardwood floors of his apartment. Makes him think how gentle you are with Bam, and how wonderful he knows you’d be with a kid. Makes him think all kinds of shit he’s never let himself indulge in before.
When he goes to bed that evening, and his sheets are seeped in the scent of your perfume, he thinks of it all over again.
Thinks of you.
And realises he can’t think about you without his heart racing, any more.
The door of the annexe in his mind is broken, now. Off its hinges.
And apparently, so is he.
Shit.
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buckys-wintersoldier · 4 months
Text
Treated like a queen | Bucky Barnes
Pairing -> CollegeStudent!(Ex-)Boyfriend!Steve Rogers x CollegeStudent!(Ex-)Girlfriend!Reader ; College Student!BestFriend!Bucky Barnes x CollegeStudent!BestFriend!Female!Reader
Summary -> Steve cheated on you, and even when he tries to apologise, you can’t look at him the same way after knowing he just fucked someone else. Luckily your best friend is always there and knows how to treat his doll right.
Wordcount -> 3k.
Warnings -> (T) cheating, break down, crying, angst, but also a lot of fluff, college au
A/N -> The oneshot is dedicated to @imtryingbuck because you’re the most wonderful best friend I can wish for. You’re for me like Bucky is such the perfect best friend for reader. And I know you know that I appreciate you and all but I wanna let you know that you’re my bestest best friend. And I love you so much, thank you for the title hehe.😂❤️ Divider made by @firefly-graphics.
Prompt -> Multifandom Flash Bingo | Round three | Card Number 1008 | 1.5 | Not cheating unless you get caught | @multifandom-flash | Fandom-Free Bingo Frosty Edition | N3 | Soulmate is Best Friend | @fandom-free-bingo | Fandom-Free Bingo Valentines Edition | N2 | Left Behind | @fandom-free-bingo | Sweetheart Bingo | N3 | @sweetspicybingo | Bingo of your own | Steve Rogers is not Captain America | O1 | @thebo3bingo
Masterlist | Bucky Barnes Masterlist
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There he is, your boyfriend of five years. He stands in front of you, trying to explain himself, but there are no ways to do so. The two of you moved together a while ago; it’s just a room in the residential school, but being so close to each other was something you two really wanted, and there you are now. Steve and you are standing in the room, and he plays with his fingers in front of him.
“I’m sorry. It was a mistake,” he whispers, his eyes closed while he runs his fingers nervously through his hair.
“A mistake that happens how many times? Three or four times?” you ask and raise your eyebrow.
Steve opens his eyes; he wants to take a step closer, but you lift your hands and walk away from him. He looks down, swallowing hard, before he clears his throat and looks at you.
“We- We had sex seven times,” he mumbles quietly.
You gasp when those words leave his lips. You thought he cheated once, but knowing that he did it seven times needs a moment for you to realize that it really wasn’t a mistake he made. You turn your head away from him; you want to scream, but you feel like you can’t. It would stick in your throat, and you wouldn’t be able to let go of your feelings, and you don’t want to, not in front of him. Then there is the feeling of just turning around and running away, or at least to cry, but everything feels so surreal, and at the same time, you feel reality hitting you. Your boyfriend cheated on you, and it wasn’t a mistake; it was his own decision to have sex with someone. And there is no excuse why he could have cheated on you.
“What did I do wrong that you cheated?”
“N-Nothing. Baby, listen-“
You interrupt him before he can say another word, and you lift your hand, showing him to stop talking. And he does; he always takes care that he doesn’t overstep your boundaries.
You don’t want him to call you baby, babe, or whatever pet name he gave you. How often did he call her babe or baby? Every time they were together and kissed, or only when they fucked? Maybe he never called her that, but he does. Steve is someone who praises his partner a lot and calls them by their nicknames or the pet names he gives them. Was he just there to fuck him, or does he love her?
“Steve, please stop calling me that. I’m not yours anymore.”
Your voice is so cold that you shiver slightly at your own harshness. You’re more the soft one, the emotional person. Steve is still looking at you; he wants to touch you, pull you close to him, and tell you that he loves you, but he knows you’re done with him. He messed up because he didn’t get his dick under control.
“Y/N- listen. I’m sorry. I’m- It’s not your fault. I- We-,” he sighs. A single tear makes its way down his cheek; his eyes are red, and the next tears are just a moment before they roll down his cheeks as well. “We- It was during the party, and then we used it to get rid of every frustration or too much stress because of the exam.”
Steve sighs when you laugh darkly. Then you shake your head and face him. Your expression is cold in a way you never thought you would look at him. There is no love, but also no anger; your expression doesn’t show any kind of emotion. You as well as Steve didn’t know that you would ever be that cold to the love of your life, the boy with whom you have been together for five years, and he threw it away by cheating on you.
“Would you have done it one time, maybe I would have accepted it one day. Maybe we could have fixed our relationship, but- Steve. I can’t look at you the same way I did. Your eyes were the things I always thought to see the truth in; your embrace was my home, but how can I ever see in those eyes of yours when all those promises were just lies? When all those words had no meaning?” you ask.
“They were no lies, and I meant what I said. I love you, y/n,” he mumbles.
Those words, they were meant all for you. ‘I love you'; they made you his; they made you feel special around him, and now he says it. And you’re standing there, trying not to give in, and just kissing him or hugging him to feel his warm body pressing against yours.
“You love me, and you will talk to me. Those were things you said, but you didn’t talk to me when you were frustrated or stressed. You cheated on me when you loved me; why did you cheat on me? I’m your number one. You would never cheat on me, but you did. I felt special around you, but not anymore; you did the things we did with her,” you tell him with a sad smile. You sigh softly. "Steve, those things- I’m sorry, but I will leave now. I hope you will be happier with her. I hope she is worth it that you destroyed what we had. But I’m not going to be with someone who doesn’t want me and has cheated on me.”
You turn around to leave the room, your shared room, and your home. But since you can’t look at him without knowing he cheated on you, it doesn’t feel like home anymore. And Steve stays quiet when you open the door. When you step out of the room and close the door behind you, you’re not leaving your room behind you; you also leave the boy you love behind you, and even when it breaks you, you know that he doesn’t want you; otherwise, he wouldn’t have cheated on you. You look for your phone to call Bucky. He is your best friend and is always there when you need him. So it doesn’t take long for him to pick it up.
“Hey, babydoll. Thought you’re with Steve,” he says. You can hear his happiness when you call him.
“I was. But- I. Bucky, can I come to you?” you ask.
Your voice is shaking, and the gasp that leaves Bucky’s lips tells you that his mood immediately changes when he hears your broken voice.
“Of course. Do you need anything? Chocolate or your favorite food? Some drinks?”
“Just you and a hug.”
“Of course, do you want me to pick you up?” Bucky sounds worried, but his voice is so soft that you calm down when you just talk to him.
“No, I’m almost there,” you mumble and hang up.
You suddenly feel so weak; everything you had with Steve isn’t there anymore. Tears form in your eyes, and you think about everything you had with Steve, the love you shared, the memories, and now there is nothing left of that love, only the memories, which are currently just him cheating on you.
After a moment, you reach Bucky’s room, knocking at his door, and he immediately opens it. The usual smile that appears across his face whenever he sees you isn’t as big as usual. His steel blue eyes aren’t as bright as you’re used to seeing them; he looks worried when he sees your red eyes and the tears streaming down your cheeks. Bucky wants to say something but stops himself when you just open your arms and wait for him to pull you close against him. And he does; he walks a step closer and wraps his arms around your waist, pulling you as close as possible. Your head is resting against his chest while he places his head on top of yours.
“I’ve got you, my pretty girl,” he mumbles, pulling you with him into his room before he closes the door with his feet.
When the door is shut, you break down in Bucky’s arms. Every feeling you tried to push away or didn’t want to cheat in front of Steve appears, and you're crying even more. Bucky holds you close, his hands moving up and down your back. You sob loudly, the tears streaming down your cheeks, and you feel like you can't breathe anymore. Your vision is blurry because of your tears, and you grip Bucky’s shirt to hold yourself. You’re a weck, which is just standing because of the tight grip of Bucky’s arms around your body. Everything you had with the love of your life, everything he promised, everything he said, it’s almost visible to you, and you can’t bring yourself to calm down. Your feelings are overwhelming, and you just want to be loved by someone who means what he said, someone who holds you like Bucky does right now.
“Bucky- he- Steve he cheated on me. Am I not enough for him? Why did he cheat on me?” you ask, still crying and pressing yourself more against Bucky.
“It’s not your fault, doll. He just doesn’t know what he lost when he let you go. You deserve someone who takes care of you and treats you the way you deserve to be treated, like a queen. Someone who knows that you’re worth so much more,” Bucky says, kissing your forehead, and he thinks about him when he says that he knows how to treat you right.
The two of you stand there for a while until your sobbing is quieter and you slowly calm down in Bucky’s embrace. He lifts you up, and you wrap your legs around his waist, letting him carry you to the couch, where he has already placed your favorite food and drinks. You sometimes wonder why he always has everything you like there, but he also loves that kind of food, and he always has everything there for his doll. When you see the food, you smile, and Bucky places you between them on the couch.
“That’s what I want to see, that wonderful smile, doll,” he smirks.
You blush, and Bucky captures your cheeks to make you look at him. He wipes the tears with his thumbs away, then he leans closer to kiss your nose.
“I love you so much, my pretty doll,” he mumbles before he lets go of you and lets himself fall down next to you on the couch.
“Bucky!!!! I love you too, but don’t sit on the food!” you say, raising your eyebrow.
Bucky laughs, wraps his arm around your waist, and pulls you against him. You place your head on his chest, then you look for some food you want to eat first. Meanwhile, Bucky looks for something next to him, giving it to you, and your smile grows when you see his hoodie. You take it on and giggle. He loves seeing you happy and that smile when your eyes brighten or when you giggle. Bucky, luckily, knows exactly how to make you happy and feel comfortable.
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It’s been a few weeks since you broke up with Steve, and it wasn’t easy for you to move on without him being around you every day. And especially when you had classes with him, it was even harder. But you get used to it, and Bucky makes sure he is always by your side to comfort you, and he just loves to spend his time with you.
“Bucky, you can meet your friends if you want to. I-I’m fine,” you say, sitting on his couch and looking at him.
“I prefer to spend time with my precious doll.”
You blush and hide yourself behind a pillow. The two of you are closer than ever, and since you’re living with Bucky in his room, you’re really happy after the situation where Steve cheated on you. Even when you sometimes miss him, Bucky makes sure you laugh just a moment later because he does something funny or just tells you a joke, even when it is not funny. But you laugh because he tells you bad jokes and acts like it was the most hilarious thing.
Bucky gets on his knees in front of you, his arms resting on your thighs, and he smiles. His blue eyes are shining in a way you haven’t seen them before. You could look into them all the time; the light blue, which matches the slight gray, looks like the most beautiful ocean. And whenever he looks at you and you get lost in the beauty of his eyes, you can’t get yourself to look away. They are mysterious and beautiful, and it's kind of scary when you realize that you forget everything around you when you just look at them.
“Doll, you’re staring,” he says, squeezing your thighs a bit.
“Sorry- I just- Have you ever seen in your eyes?” you blush when you ask him that question.
Of course, he sees his eyes every time he looks into the mirror, but he probably doesn’t get lost in them like you do.
“Do you want to move in here completely?”
The way his voice sounds makes it clear he really means what he asks. And you thought about moving into his room already, and you talked about it, but now it’s on you to decide if you’re ready to say yes or if you want to have most of your things still in your old room, the one where Steve is still living.
When you went to Bucky the day you broke up with Steve, Bucky told Steve to put a few things into a bag and place them in front of the door so he could pick them up later. And Steve did as he was told; he put things that really meant something to you and some clothes into a bag and placed them in front of the door. And Bucky picked it up later that day and made sure he didn't have to see Steve; otherwise, he would have punched him in the face for being such a dick.
“Do you really don’t mind? I mean, I should talk to Steve first.”
You capture Bucky’s cheeks with your hands. He sticks his tongue out and inches close to try to lick your nose, but you push him softly away so he can’t lick at you.
“Buckyyyyy,” you giggle.
“What’s up, doll?”
You roll your eyes; he can act like he didn’t try to lick your nose and just pretends you’re asking for him to answer, so you’re going to tell him something then. Bucky chuckles before he clears his throat to speak in a deeper voice.
“I don’t mind you moving in with me. I’m a robot,” he says, and you burst out laughing.
“Oke I’m gonna make myself ready, and then I will go to Steve and talk to him.”
Bucky nods, letting himself fall to sit in front of you so you can stand up and go to make yourself ready. He looks at you and sees the way his hoodie fits perfectly as a dress for you, but you just prefer his clothes. Before you walk into the bathroom, you turn around and wink at him. He laughs, and while he listens to the shower and the way you dry yourself before you make your hair, his mind goes crazy with thoughts about you and Steve.
What if you want to go back to him? Maybe you prefer Steve, and even when you broke up with him, maybe your love is stronger and you will leave him alone. His mood changes from the happy little puppy into the introverted, sad boy he is whenever you’re not around him.
“Bu- Hey, Bucky. You’re oke?” you ask worriedly when you walk back to the couch where he is sitting.
Bucky's eyes are slightly red, and he sniffles, but he nods his head. Of course, he is fine, right? You’re not his, and when you decide to be back with Steve, who is going to make you happy. You need to be happy, and maybe you’re happier with Steve, even when Bucky hopes you will choose him.
“I will be back in a few minutes,” you tell him, running your fingers through his soft brown hair.
“But maybe you want to stay with Steve,” he mumbles quietly.
You don’t say anything; you just kneel down in front of him and capture his cheeks. You turn his head, so he has to look at you before you lean closer and kiss him softly. Bucky places his hand around your waist and pulls you closer while he moves his lips against yours. When you two pull away and catch your breath, he still looks into your eyes, his cheeks slightly red, and the smile on his lips reaches from one side of his face to the other.
“Call me when you need help with Steve.”
You grab your phone and tap on it before Bucky’s phone rings, and he picks it up, chuckling softly.
“Yes, doll?”
“You said 'call me' when you need help with Steve. And I call you. I would love it when you would come there with me so I don’t have to talk to him about things I don’t want to talk about,” you say and smile when he hangs up and leans closer to kiss you again.
“Of course, my pretty doll,” he says, and he stands up before he picks you up and twirls you around. “Before you need to throw up on me, tell me, please,” he says, and you both need to laugh.
And there he is, your best friend. But he is way more than that. Bucky is your soulmate; he knows things about you that no one knows about you. And when you thought Steve was the love of your life, it was just because you weren't with Bucky together. With your best friend, you feel like you’re complete, you’re loved, and he treats you like a queen, like his queen. And Bucky can finally show you that you deserve so many good things and that he loves you like you’re everything to him.
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Taglist: @nicoline1998enilocin @mrsbuckybarnes1917 @sergeantbarnessdoll @lives-in-midgard @rogersbarber @kandis-mom @km-ffluv @bucky-barnes-lover @felicitylemon @identity2212 @cjand10 @harleycao @lunaalovesyouu @casa-boiardi @futurequeen2018-blog @blackhawkfanatic @flstrawberry
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laurenairay · 4 months
Text
hopeless hearts just passing through - J. Hughes
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This my entry for @wyattjohnston’s low-key lovefest 2k24 prompt list challenge. I chose “stop making promises you aren’t going to keep” from the angst list and “you’re the only person I wanted to see tonight” from the fluff list.
Summary: Jack had messed up, again. Can he make it up to you this time, or is it too late?
Words: 2.9k
Warnings: light angst, Jack being a dumbass, some bad language, fluff
Title from: I was made for loving you, by Tori Kelly
~
Thursday 28th December
[7.00pm] You’ve reached Jack. I’m obviously not here right now so leave me a message after the beep.
[7.25pm] You’ve reached Jack. I’m obviously not here right now so leave me a message after the beep.
[8.00pm] You’ve reached Jack. I’m obviously not here right now so leave me a message after the beep.
“Hey Jack, guess you’ve forgotten our call. Again. By now you probably have other plans tonight? Just… please give me a call when you listen to this.”
~
Friday 29th December
Morning came without a phone call. You didn’t know whether you were surprised or not, if you were being honest – this wasn’t the first time he’d forgotten to call you while on the road like he promised he would. This time though it felt different. Maybe it was because the two of you had spent a wonderful happy Hannukah & Christmas together only days before that hurt you the most. Maybe it was just because you believed Jack when he promised. Either way, this time you couldn’t let it go – it was a matter of principle.
You made it through your entire morning routine, getting washed and dressed for work, eating breakfast, packing your lunch into your work bag, before your phone started to ring. Jack. You glanced at the clock on the kitchen wall, wincing as you slipped into your shoes and grabbed your hooded coat, bag and keys on the way out the door. You weren’t going to be late, not for him.
“I’m on my way to work, I really can’t talk right now.”
You answered bluntly, pinning your phone between your shoulder and your ear as you put on your coat the moment you stepped into the elevator.
“I am so sorry baby.”
Really?
“That’s really all you have to say?” you snapped, picking your work bag up off the floor now that you’d zipped up your coat.
“What else can I say?”
You were stunned for a moment, lips parting. The nerve of this guy.
“Oh I don’t know, how about what you’re actually sorry for?” you said, the sarcasm in your voice barely hiding your anger.
You heard him huff out a breath, perfectly in time with the elevator doors opening on the ground floor of your apartment building.
“I’m sorry I missed our call. I know I promised to call you but I just totally forgot. The guys were all excited about a mario kart tournament and I really wanted Luke to finally get in on the action!”
“Please don’t blame your brother for your mistakes.”
Jack inhaled sharply over the phone. You could almost picture his mouth opening and closing as he tried to think of something to say, just as he usually did in person, so you just waited for him to speak as you trudged down the street to your usual bus stop.
“I’m sorry. For blaming Luke and for upsetting you. It won’t happen again, baby, I promise.”
Yeah, okay. As if that was the first time he’d said that.
“Stop making promises you aren’t going to keep,” you said sharply.
Jack was silent for a moment or two.
“What do you mean?”
His voice sounded so small, so quiet, like he finalised realised the depth of how badly he’d screwed up. Good.
“You know what I mean, Jack. I’m not asking for the world – I know your team will always be priority. I’m just getting sick of never even crossing your mind at all. Even a text to say a mario kart tournament had started last minute would’ve been better than being fucking ghosted by my own boyfriend,” you groaned.
Thankfully there was no-one else at the bus stop to hear your cursing.
“Baby, please, I can do better. I will do better.”
He was clearly panicking, voice full of desperation with whatever he was reading from your own voice. But you just sighed, not really sure what to say because this wasn’t the first time so would it really be the last? Could you really believe him?
Before you could think of an answer to his pleading, your bus came into view as it turned the corner onto your road. Clearly this was a sign.
“I have to go, my bus is here,” you said softly.
“No baby, wait please, I-”
You ended the call without letting him finish, already feeling a headache coming on as the anger washed out of you. This was the last thing you needed after the heartache of last night – his panicked pleading. It wouldn’t help his case when he was so far away, not when you were this frustrated with him. The best thing for you to do, rather than tumbling into saying something you would regret, would be to give yourself some space, some breathing room.
Something that Jack clearly didn’t agree with as he immediately called your phone again.
Thankfully the bus pulled up right at that moment, so you felt justified in ignoring him, slipping your phone into your pocket as you flashed the driver your bus pass, focusing on finding a seat for your commute.
It was all you could do to keep your face neutral, trying to ignore the overwhelmed tears stinging at your eyes as your phone continued to buzz for most of your journey.
~
As you suspected, your morning at work was terrible. Not only did your mild headache turn into a fully formed one, but you were clearly giving off ‘leave me alone’ vibes because your colleagues steered clear, leaving you to stew in your emotions in peace. Not even a walk outside during your lunch break did any good – you still had a headache, the food you packed was so-so, and you had three emails to deal with that were really not your problem.
Didn’t people know that sending emails between Christmas and New Year was pointless?
“Hey, you’ve got a delivery.”
You jerked your head up from your computer to see your office receptionist standing next to you with a gigantic bouquet of flowers – white and pink roses, to be precise, around three dozen. What the hell?
“Uh, thanks,” you murmured, forcing a quick smile as she passed the bouquet over.
You tried desperately to ignore the whispers and stares around you as you spotted a card. Really you knew there was only one person who would send you flowers, but you still opened the small envelope with shaking hands anyway.
‘I’m sorry. Jack xx’
A simple message but it still made your heart ache.
That, and it made your lingering headache pound more. This was so typical Jack, wanting to do some sort of grand gesture which in technicality was very sweet but also so not what you needed right now. You didn’t need the reminder that things were shaky between you two. You didn’t need the stares and attention from your colleagues, all of them now knowing that something was wrong from your reaction. And you didn’t need to carry the bouquet home on the bus with you, the unresolved tension between you and Jack hanging over you like an axe.
Or, well, like a bouquet of 36 flowers, bigger than your head.
“Oh honey, what did he do?”
You winced at the pitying voice of your colleague, smiling sadly as you shook your head.
“I’d really rather not talk about it,” you said softly.
She nodded, smiling sadly back.
“Well if you change your mind, message me and we’ll go for coffee,” she said, voice quiet, trying to give you a modicum of privacy.
You just nodded, thanking her quietly in response, and she left with a squeeze of your shoulder. She meant well, you knew she did, and hopefully this interaction would stop anyone else (especially those who loved to stir drama) from approaching you too.
It was all you could do to put the flowers on the side of your desk, trying to ignore everything they represented. You had work to do – thinking about Jack right now was not going to do you any good.
When your phone buzzed a couple of hours later though, you still read the messages that Jack sent, one after another coming in.
~
[3.22pm]
From: Jack I got an email saying the flowers had been delivered. I chose white and pink roses to symbolise how much I love you and my loyalty and how sorry I am. I know that I messed up and I understand why you’re upset with me. But please give me a second chance?
~
He'd looked up flower symbolism. He specifically chose white and pink roses because of their meaning. What were you supposed to do with something so romantic when you were this frustrated with him?
Fuck.
With a sigh you pulled up the Devils schedule on your phone, confirming the date in your mind that he’d be back from his roadtrip. He was still in Ottawa today and then Boston tomorrow…but he would be back on New Year’s Eve. You could work with that.
~
[3.35pm]
To: Jack The flowers are beautiful. Thank you. I am still upset with you, but I will hear you out. If you want to talk, come to mine on NYE. I have no plans.
~
The two of you hadn’t discussed any parties or plans at all for New Year’s Eve, even though you had assumed Jack would’ve dragged you somewhere in the end. But this was better. You needed time alone with him because there was no way you could face him for the first time after all this while surrounded by other people. Putting the ball in his court was the only way to keep your sanity at this point.
With another sigh you put your phone down, raking a hand through your hair as your eyes lingered on the colourful blooms on your desk. They really were beautiful.
You weren’t surprised when it took mere minutes before your phone buzzed again.
~
[3.37pm]
From: Jack I’ll be there. I promise.
~
Saturday 30th December
[11.15pm]
To: Jack Sorry about the loss. You’ll get the Bruins next time.
~
[11.20pm]
From: Jack Thanks ❤️
~
Sunday 31st December
You hadn’t spoken to Jack since texting him after yesterday’s defeat. Mostly because you knew he was travelling, but also because you knew that him coming over to yours tonight was when you really needed to speak.
For some reason you were a little nervous. You didn’t know what it was really that had you furiously cleaning your apartment, but those fizzing bubbles ran all through your body the whole day. It didn’t help that you had no idea what time Jack would come over. Assuming he was still coming over, that was. No, he had promised, and he knew how you felt about promises. At least you hoped he had learned his lesson on how you felt because you weren’t sure of how much more you could take.
Tonight had to be your deciding factor on protecting your heart, you knew that much.
When you’d scrubbed and rearranged and hoovered all that you could, you showered and dressed up in a comfortable black velvet tea dress, curled your hair and put on a little make-up before putting some wine in the fridge to chill. It was New Year’s Eve after all, and you knew that if Jack didn’t turn up by 9pm, your friends had insisted that you go over to theirs to celebrate the new year together. It felt good to know that you had a safety net because if Jack didn’t show tonight? You were done. And you knew you’d need the support of your friends to get you through.
Fuck.
You really hoped he showed up.
When it got to 6pm, you put some soft music on, hoping to drown out the silence of your apartment, feeling like an idiot for just sitting around waiting for him. What if he didn’t show up? What if he let you down again? What if this was the end of your relationship? What if…
Bzzzzz
The buzzer for your apartment crashed through your swirling thoughts and you quickly jumped to your feet, cheeks heating with how ridiculous you felt.
“Hello?”
“Hey, it’s me. Can you let me up?”
Jack. He came.
You didn’t answer, just pressed the button to let him in, trying to keep yourself calm as you paced to and forth while you waited for him to take the elevator up to your apartment. In all reality it didn’t take long, but after the last few days it felt like a lifetime.
“Hey.”
“Hey.”
You huffed out a laugh at your awkward greetings, stepping aside to let him in.
“Thanks, uh, for inviting me over,” Jack said, rubbing the back of his neck.
“Wasn’t sure what time you would come. Or what you were doing tonight,” you murmured, shutting the door behind him.
Jack groaned, walking further into your apartment, you following silently. “I should’ve texted. Fuck, I should’ve told you exactly what time I was coming over, but I got so caught up trying to find the right thing to wear and dropping Luke off early at Nico’s and…”
Oh bless his heart. He was going straight into it then.
His rant trailed off as you pressed a finger to his lips, responding to your amused smile with a shy one of his own.
“You look great, Jack – you always do,” you said simply, dropping your hand back to your side, “But I actually meant if you had other plans around this like parties you were going to go to.”
Jack immediately shook his head, face more serious than you’d ever seen it.
“You’re the only person I wanted to see tonight,” he said firmly.
Oh fuck. Your breath hitched in your throat at his words, Jack taking the chance to hold both of your hands.
“I messed up. I know I messed up. I haven’t been treating you with the respect you deserve and missing even one call with you without letting you know why is unacceptable…”
Wow. This was far more than you had ever expected from him, and your heart ached with the emotion he was putting into his thoughts. Maybe he’d rehearsed this with Luke, maybe he was winging it, but you could tell in his eyes that he meant every word. He was right – you hadn’t been respected like you deserve. Could he really turn himself around though?
“…I really am sorry, baby. I love you so much and I can’t bear the thought of losing you. Please, will you forgive me?”
The confidence in his voice wavered a little, voice cracking with the emotion of his words, and you felt a pang radiate through your chest. You’d never seen him look so vulnerable before. Maybe you needed to see it.
As you formed your thoughts, you kept your hands in his, squeezing to let him know you were processing so he didn’t panic or shut down. That was the last thing you wanted or needed. This was a lot, and it was important that you said what you really meant.
“I’ll admit, I wasn’t expecting to dive straight into this.”
Jack winced slightly, lips parting, but you shook your head. No, it was your turn now.
“You really hurt me, Jack. I appreciate that you understand that, but it still doesn’t change the fact that I was hurt. I don’t ask for much and you couldn’t even give me the bare minimum,” you started.
The whimper that escaped from his throat just about broke your heart, but you barrelled on.
“I deserve more. I deserve better. I deserve respect, you’re right. I just…I really hope you’re the one that can give that to me,” you said softly.
As your words sunk in, a hopeful smile quickly spread across his face.
“I get a second chance?” he grinned, making you huff out a laugh.
“Yeah, Jack, you do. But you won’t get a third. I don’t like feeling like I don’t matter and you can’t do that again,” you said, hoping he understood how serious you were.
Jack nodded, squeezing your hands.
“I won’t let you down, baby. I almost lost you once by being a careless asshole, I won’t lose you again,” he said, smiling.
Oh how that smile gave you butterflies.
“I love you,” he said again.
It didn’t matter how long you’d been together or how many times he said it – hearing those words fall from his lips made your heart race every single time.
“I love you too,” you said, finally smiling back.
Jack whooped, throwing his head back in celebration, making you burst out in laughter, even more so as he dropped your hands to wrap his arms around your waist, picking you up to spin around in a circle. Ridiculous, ridiculous man.
“I love you, I love you, I love you.”
You just clutched at his shoulders as he murmured the words over and over again in your ear, hoping that this time, his words would be true.
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harlowhockeystick · 4 months
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hi!!!!! i was wondering if i could request the reader forgetting date night w rafe because she was jus so busy?? maybe like angst to fluff :))
february prompts | rafe cameron x reader | reader is kind of a ditz, please send more rafe i am down so bad
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the tick tock of the clock makes your mind go crazy. watching as time goes by, picking at your nails while you anxiously listen for the hum of his truck and the scratching of his tires against the gravel road outside of your house. anxiously waiting.
it wouldn't be the first time he was late, though. he'd been late a few times before, you got used to his bad habit. very rarely was he twenty-five minutes late. by now, you're sure that they already gave your table away to someone else. maybe if he shows up in the next ten minutes you can still make your movie, but you have doubts.
five more minutes, then i'll call.
four went by. you heard a familiar sound outside, but you turn around to see it's a truck pulling into your neighbors driveway.
three went by. you felt your phone buzz, but it was just an update from instagram.
two went by. one went by.
"hey rafey, what're you up to?" you ask nervously, staring at the clock that keeps mocking you with it's tick tock, tick tock, tick tock.
he sighs on the other end of the line, "i'm still up here at work, why?" you bit your lip at a silly attempt to keep from crying. as soon as one tear fell more and more continued to fall.
"well, um, remember how we had reservations tonight? at that new place downtown?" you mention through tears and he hears it loud and clear. he almost drops his phone in anger and disappointment at himself. you hear him sigh and knock his fist against something a couple times.
"baby, i am so sorry," he whispers. you hear on the other side of the phone rafe shuffling a few things around, the jingling of keys and heavy footsteps.
"if you leave now i can meet you at the movie theater," you interrupted.
"what? no, no i'll pick you up. no need for you to drive all the way over there. i'll be at your place shortly," rafe quickly shut your idea down. he ended the phone call and you remained sat on the couch until he walked through your front door with the key you gave him.
he did just a few minutes later. rafe didn't greet you with a hug or a hello but instead he pressed his lips against your own and he placed his hands on your hips.
"i'm sorry sweetie, i got too distracted at work," he pulled away and tucked some hair behind your ear. it was always work that took him away from you. honestly you weren't even sure what rafe did for work. you knew that it had something to do with his dad, but he never told you what his exact job or title was. rafe just explained he works so that he can buy you all the things you want, take you to anywhere you want, and then some.
"c'mon lets go to the movies," he took your hand and walked with you out of the house. he reached up to tap the top doorframe of your front door and when he did his shirt rose up and you saw a gun tucked in the back of his pants, you gasped a little. what did he do for work that caused him to carry a gun with him?
rafe was a tough, almost scary man to some people. he was never scary to you, though. throughout the night he made up for him being late, getting a little handsy during the movie and going out for ice cream after, getting you as many scoops as you wanted.
"rafey," you asked while changing into your pajamas for the night, "what do you do for work again?" the question had been lingering all night in your head, you couldn't even focus on the movie because you kept wracking you brain. had he told you, and you just forgot? were you not paying attention when he told you?
"i told you sweetie, i just do boring stuff, stuff you wouldn't understand. i just make enough money so i can spoil you silly," he answered you coming up behind you and giving you a kiss in the curve of your neck.
"well, i saw your gun tucked in your pants. it kinda scared me, what do you do for work that makes you carry a gun?" rafes heart rate began to go up a little bit as he felt his cheeks get red.
"that's just precaution, lots of freaks out there." rafe kisses your cheek and pulls you back to the bedroom. he always keeps an extra pair of pajamas in your closet for the nights he stays over, which is often. "c'mon, let's go to bed."
he lets the hum of some documentary lull you to sleep in his arms. he takes a breath of relief, he doesn't know how much longer he can keep you oblivious.
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thejakeslayla · 8 months
Text
╰─▸ ❝ distance ❞ - ,, park sunghoon
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pairing bf!sunghoon x gn!reader ୨୧ genre fluff, slight angst? ୨୧ wc 1k ୨୧ req; prompt 24 (deciding on a list of Netflix shows they will only watch together); dialogue 41 (“you’re just the cutest.” “you’re the only one who is allowed to say that.”);
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you settled in, making yourself cozy under the blankets, propping your head up with pillows, your phone now in your hands. the clock struck 10 pm, and you eagerly anticipated a call from sunghoon. it had been his second week on tour, and you were longing to see him again.
as you scrolled through twitter, you watched clips of your boyfriend from today's concert. after a while, you opened your clock app to check the time in sunghoon's current location. just as you were about to click on the city he was in, his name and a cute picture of him smiling popped up on your screen. you glanced at yourself in the preview and answered the call.
"hey, y/n!" he exclaimed loudly, his still-sweaty face appearing on your screen. you could hear the sounds of the rest of enhypen in the background, indicating he was still backstage.
"hi, hoonie. how was the concert?" you asked, secretly admiring his face. suddenly, his video paused, and you furrowed your eyebrows, feeling confused. it soon resumed, and you saw niki's face.
"y/n! i missed yo–" "hey, niki! give it back!"
you laughed at niki's face. "riki, give sunghoon his phone, please," you requested after a few seconds of the younger member dodging his hyung.
"oh my god, i'm so sorry about that," sunghoon said after getting his phone back. "he's hyperactive after concerts, he gets the zoomies, y'know," he explained, and you nodded.
"i've already changed, just waiting for the car," he added, moving the camera down to show himself sitting with sweatpants and an oversized hoodie.
"looking good, baby." you smiled at him.
fifteen minutes later, sunghoon arrived at the hotel and instantly flopped down on the bed. you were used to seeing him like this, not only after concerts in seoul but also during calls, that slowly became your routine. he always called you as soon as he could and stayed on the call until one of you fell asleep.
"before the concert, i saw this new movie trailer," he broke the silence, lifting his face from the pillows and now looking at you. "we should go see it."
"we also have to finish the other million movies we haven't watched," you replied. "at this point, a good list would be nice."
upon hearing your words, sunghoon gazed at something out of your view, deep in thought. "you know, that's not a bad idea? as soon as i'm back, we should have a movie marathon."
you placed your phone down, hearing sunghoon's muffled "hey!" as you grabbed a notebook. then you adjusted your phone so he could still see you and looked at him.
"give me some suggestions, and i'll note them down."
he began listing some movie titles you were familiar with and others that were new to you. when you heard one of them, you paused.
"no, absolutely not. we're not watching that," you protested, and he raised an eyebrow.
"what do you mean? it's a good movie," he argued, and you shook your head.
"hoonie, that was the most boring movie i've ever seen."
"it's just your bad taste," he teased. "okay, if you have better movie taste, enlighten us, y/n."
"okay," you began. "so, my first suggestion is 'yuri on ice.'" you looked at your phone, waiting for sunghoon's reaction.
"oh, you think you're sooo funny," he said in a monotone voice, which made you laugh.
you couldn't see it, but the corners of his lips curled up as he watched you genuinely laughing. it warmed his heart to be the one making you laugh like that.
"you're just the cutest when you're like that, you know?" you said after a minute or two of laughing.
"you're the only one allowed to say that," he replied, leaving you feeling flustered. you put your head down, hiding your face in the notebook you had been writing in.
"y/n," he whined, "let me see you."
"no, i'm a mess, and it's your fault," you said, pretending to be offended.
"i wish i was there to see you," he almost whispered, though your phone was on max volume. you lowered the notebook and looked at him.
"what did you say?" he noticed your face peeking at him, and now he was the one feeling flustered.
"i just wish i could be there with you. i miss seeing your face, feeling your body close to mine, i miss kissing you, watching those silly movies with you, holding your hand," he said after a few seconds of silence, as if he were mustering the courage to say it. "i miss you."
you couldn’t help but feel tears welling up in your eyes, you missed sunghoon as well, so much it was painful. he quickly noticed your tears.
"hey, love, please don't cry. we'll see each other soon, okay?" he reassured you.
you nodded, wiping away your tears, but it was pointless as even more escaped your eyes, slowly rolling down your cheeks.
"i miss you too, hoonie," you finally said, your voice breaking.
"my baby," he said, his voice soft, as if it was healing the fresh wounds in your heart. "you have to be strong, okay? just two more cities here in the us, and i'll be back home."
after a few minutes of sunghoon calming you down, saying sweet nothings, and repeating that he would be back soon, you finally stopped sobbing. you placed the notebook on your nightstand and lay down, your cheek pressed against the pillow.
your conversation about movies continued, but sunghoon soon noticed your responses getting shorter or you simply replying with a soft "mhm" in varying tones that matched the conversation.
"love, is your phone charging?" he asked.
"mhm."
"where's your little hoonie?" another question. you opened your eyes and searched for the penguin plushie sunghoon had given you as a gift for your first anniversary. you quickly grabbed it and held it in your arms. closing your eyes again, you heard sunghoon chuckle.
"good, good. go to sleep, okay, love? i'll be here. do you want me to keep talking?"
you answered with another hum. just hearing his voice relaxed you, and he knew that after multiple times of you falling asleep on the call as he spoke.
he continued to talk, but after a few minutes, his voice became muffled as you started falling asleep for good. when sunghoon noticed your slow and steady breathing, calm expression, and the fact that you didn't respond anymore, he sighed, a soft smile on his face. he took a screenshot of your relaxed face and settled down more comfortably.
"i can't wait to see you and fall asleep with you, baby. i love you so much. sleep well."
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requests: open; prompt list © 2023 — all rights reserved to user thejakeslayla, please do not steal, plagiarise or translate any of my work !
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the-boy-meets-evil · 5 months
Text
right where you left me | ksy & jww
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(where you're in an open relationship with soonyoung, who doesn't want to come on your family christmas vacation. it's okay. you run into your ex at the resort anyway.)
pairing: soonyoung (hoshi) x f.reader, ex!wonwoo x f.reader genre: est. relationships, exes to lovers to ??, love triangles | smut, angst??, fluff word count: ~8.6k (yeah, idk either) warnings: open relationship (implied, not explicitly discussed), wonwoo and soonyoung both know about each other (but never actually interact), reader goes away with family for the holidays, mentions of christmas (including christmas dinner), mentions of drinking, soonyoung is soft for reader, wonwoo just wants a second chance, one (1) holy spirit joke, reader does make a choice at the end, smut warnings under the cut
a/n: this is for the amazing and wonderful @beomcoups from your secret santa, blitzen, for @kpopsecretsanta 💕 summer, i already knew you were actually the best. so, it's been really fun getting to send you asks and come up with something for you. i hope you like it (and i'm so sorry it got this long). this is honestly not where i meant for this to go. ily and merry (belated) christmas! thank you to @wooahaeproductions (once again) for giving me a title and to my bby @wongyuseokie for the beautiful banner so last minute.
a/n 2: i'm for real taking a writing break now because december has been busy 😂
tagging: @aaniag, @gyuminusone, @horanghater
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smut warnings: multiple smut scenes, lots of kissing, so many orgasms, so much cum (i'm sorry), dirty talk, spit as lube (just for handjobs), handjobs, blowjobs, implied edging, vaginal fingering, protected sex (yay!), implied/referenced phone sex, kind of dom!wonwoo, kind of switch!reader, wonwoo is bossy, oral sex (f. receiving), begging, slight hair pulling, slight nipple play, choking, unprotected sex (don't do this), fucking from behind, pulling out, cum on the back/ass, referenced marking, referenced restraints, pet names (doll, sweetheart, babydoll, baby), probably teasing somewhere, i think that's it (i swear there's plot in there too)
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“Are you all packed?” 
Soonyoung is stretched out on your bed, watching you search through your closet. You sigh when you can’t find the one sweater you’re looking for.
“Almost,” you say. 
“It’s on the drying rack in your spare bedroom,” he says. 
You spin around to look at him, eyebrow raised. “What?”
“That sweater you love? The one you pull out the second it’s cool enough?” Soonyoung prompts. 
You give him a look, but don’t say anything. Instead, you walk into the other room and find he’s right. The last thing you want to throw into your suitcase is actually exactly where he said. You check that it’s dry before retrieving it to fold and tuck away. 
“How?” you ask when you reenter the room. 
He just shrugs. “I don’t know, I guess I know you pretty well.”
That tugs at your heartstrings a little, especially this time of year. Because it’s true. Hardly anyone knows you as well as the beautiful man sprawled on your bed, scrolling through his phone. Yet, he’s also the one that seems to hurt you the most. Always exactly where you need him to be, but never quite within reach. This kind, wonderful human that surprises you with things that remind him of you, but can’t (or won’t) come with you for the holidays to a beautiful, snow-covered resort. It’s not worth bringing up again…
“Are you sure you don’t want to come?” you ask.
…but you do anyway. Like the sucker for pain you are. Like somehow the answer is going to change from the last time you asked.
This does make him look up, at least. It’s hard to see the look he gives you. It’s a little comforting that he does look sorry. Not quite enough to ease the ache in your heart. That’s neither here nor there, though.
“I just don’t think it’s a good idea,” he answers. 
“I know,” you sigh. 
And you do know. Your relationship with Soonyoung happened out of nowhere. When you were trying desperately to heal over the worst heartbreak you could imagine and he happened to be there. Maybe that’s why you feel this inexplicable draw to him, even now. Because he was the one to help you put the pieces back together, the one to let you know that you weren’t asking for something unreasonable from your ex, that it was okay to make whatever type of life you wanted for yourself. Over time, you felt yourself getting more attached and let it happen, even knowing it was the wrong choice. Not because Soonyoung is wrong or anything short of great. It’s just, well, he’s always been honest, sometimes painfully so, about exactly who he is and what he wants. He’s just not sure, at least right now, that a closed relationship where he meets the parents is what he wants. 
An open relationship hadn’t been something you considered. It still wasn’t a consideration when you first started sleeping with Soonyoung. It wasn’t until you realized you wanted more of him that you had to have the conversation. Which is how you’re here, now. Going to see your parents and the rest of your family for a beautiful vacation alone despite being in a relationship. Despite him having met some of your family, like your cousins, and the number of dates you go on. Sometimes it really is enough. Not because you’re telling yourself it is. It just is. He comes up with the most thoughtful dates. Surprises you with little things just because. He’s so insanely thoughtful. So, maybe it’s enough that he doesn’t want to come meet your parents.
“Come here,” he requests, opening his arms for you. 
You sigh before giving in and snuggling into him on the bed. He plants a soft kiss on the top of your head first, then your temple. You settle against his chest, timing your own breathing with the rise and fall of his chest. There’s something so comforting about lying like this. Something that makes it easier to be honest when you’re not looking into his incredibly soft eyes.
“I do get it, Soonie,” you repeat softly. “This makes sense for us and I don’t want that to change. I don’t need my parents getting involved.”
“Maybe next year,” he says and that pulls you up short. He’s never said that before. You can’t really help it, you pull away to look into his eyes. “I like being around you and neither of us has been seeing many other people lately. So maybe it’s something we can talk about in the new year.” 
“I don’t want it to be anything that you feel…” you start and he presses a kiss to your lips.
“I don’t,” he assures you. “And you’re still free to do whatever you want, obviously. I don’t even know what it might look like. Just, I don’t know, I figure maybe after the holidays we can figure out if anything changes here.” 
“Yeah, I’d like that,” you agree. 
“But for today…” he says, drifting off as his eyes roam over your body.
“You’re exhausting,” you complain.
“You tried on Christmas dresses in front of me! I’ve been here suffering thinking that I won’t get to slide that material off your soft skin,” he says and kisses your shoulder. “Sitting here neglected as I watched you pack away skirts and those pants that make your ass look amazing.” 
“You’re not neglected,” you tease as he presses a long kiss to your neck. 
“I’m wasting away from the lack of attention,” he whines.
“Hm, is that right?” you ask. 
“It is,” he concludes. 
“Well, we can’t have that,” you say low, running your hand down his stomach. 
“Don’t you have to leave soon?” he asks, stuttering when your hand runs over his cock through his pants. You rub him ever so gently, delighting in the way he reacts.
“I can stop if you want,” you suggest. 
“You know I don’t want you to, but…” he starts and trails off when you move your hand towards his waistband.
“I’m driving, Soon, I can be a little late. I’ll just blame traffic,” you say.
“Fuck it,” he curses. 
You drag his pants and briefs down in one motion, freeing his cock. You remember the first time you fucked him, when he was nervous that you were going to be somehow disappointed. He couldn’t have been more wrong. Not only is he the perfect size, but he has a way of moving his hips while fucking you that’s always drives you crazy.
There isn’t time for you to be walking down memory lane, though. You spit into your hand so that you can start stroking him, delight in how he’s already a little hard. Maybe he wasn’t lying about the torture of watching you try on clothes. After all, you did catch him adjusting on the bed a time or two. It’s not enough for you, just stroking him and listening to all the beautiful sounds that he makes. Before he even realizes what’s happening, you’re taking him into your mouth. Swirling your tongue around the tip and carefully massaging his balls with your free hand. You hollow your cheeks when you take as much of him into your mouth as you can. Carefully sucking while you bob your head on his cock, running a hand up and down the base as you continue to work on him. 
“Fuck, that mouth is so good,” he whines. “Oh my god! Ugh, yes!” 
One of the things you like about Soonyoung is times like this, where he doesn’t need to be in control. Where he just lets you take care of him. Lets you make him feel good. Just completely turns to putty in your hands. He’s muttering obscenities about how much he loves your mouth, how you know just what to do, how you’re cruel for bringing him to the edge and then backing off. You may not have enough time, but you also can’t really stop yourself. 
“You’re gonna make me come if you keep that up,” Soonyoung warns. 
You pull up off him just for a second to fix him with a look. “Kinda the point, isn’t it?” 
“Not if it means I don’t get to fuck you,” he answers and pulls off his shirt. 
Okay, you can take the hint. You quickly strip off all your clothes and move up to lie on your side facing him. He captures your lips in a kiss and quickly puts a hand between your legs. No time to waste. He runs his fingers along your entrance, collecting the wetness there and groaning, probably at how you’re wet just from blowing him. When he slides a finger inside your cunt, you want to pull away from the kiss. Instead, you just moan into his mouth, spurring him to pump his finger into you faster. Another moan and he presses a second finger in. 
When you first started fucking Soonyoung, you were a little embarrased about several things when it came to sex. One had been how wet you get. He had been so quick with the praise, so quick to assure you that it was a good thing, so quick to make you comfortable. Now, you barely even think about it. Everything with him is effortless, comfortable. It’s entirely too fast when you feel like you’re already starting to come undone. 
“God, I love watching that pussy suck my fingers in,” he says. “So good for me, so greedy.”
“Fuck, Soon, hang on,” you pant out.
“Feeling good?” he asks.
“Yeah but you’re gonna make me come,” you whine. 
“Isn’t that the point?” he parrots back.
“Thought you wanted to fuck me,” you remind him.
He removes his fingers from your cunt entirely too quickly so he can roll over to reach the drawer. With surprising speed, he pulls a condom out and has it on in a matter of seconds. You’re about to ask how he wants you when he rolls back over and hikes one of your legs up. This is a new position for the two of you, surprising with how many you’ve tried. There’s something a little intimate, facing each other like this with your leg up over his arm. His brows furrow a little as he lines himself up. 
“Oh god,” you moan out when he presses all the way in, right off the bat. Even with the prepping, it’s more of a stretch than you were expecting so fast.
“You okay?” he asks. Even though he wants it to be fast, he’s still so considerate.
“Yes, just fucking move, please,” you whine.
“So needy,” he says, but he still moves. 
It’s fast and a little desperate and the angle has him hitting you just where you want him. It doesn’t feel awkward in this position, either, which crossed your mind for a second. You’re clinging to any part of him that you can, moaning incoherently, about to come undone in a stupidly short time. But, he’s babbling too, uttering praises for how good he feels, reminding you how amazing you are. He’s so vocal and it’s what sends you over the edge. He follows right behind you.
You lay on your back and take a few moments to catch your breath. Watch him as he gets up to dispose of the condom. Smile when he comes back and presses a gentle kiss to your forehead. He’s so pretty like this, glowing and smiley and perfectly content. So are you, apparently, as he tells you constantly.
“You have to go because I have to shower and I don’t want to have to shower again after that,” you say when you get up.
“But, what if I want round two?” he asks, drawing you in against his body. 
You lean your head to press a kiss to his lips and carefully pull away. “Then, you’ll just have to wait til I’m back.”
“Thought you didn’t mind being late,” he presses.
“A little late,” you say and laugh at the pout. “You’re cute, Soonie, but I still have to go.”
“Fine,” he sighs. “You’ll be back before New Year’s?”
“Yeah, for the party,” you confirm. 
“I’ll miss you,” he whispers into your hair. The kiss he presses to the top of your head nearly has your knees weak. Instead, you just smile as he leaves and rush off to the shower before you get in the car. 
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The resort your parents picked this year for the holidays is beautiful. There’s a main resort and also a bunch of smaller buildings with rooms that are more like condos. Your parents are staying in a particularly roomy one, because they love to host, so you don’t feel too stuck by staying with them. It’s also nice because the resort is attached to a ski lodge. You can actually ski straight from the rooms onto one of the trails. It’s all beautiful and you feel incredibly at peace. 
(You also appreciate how there are plenty of things to do for people that don’t like to ski or snowboard. Not that you don’t, you’re just sometimes a little worried you’ll fall.)
The first night was just for relaxing after the ride up. The four hour drive ended up going a lot faster with your cousin in the passenger seat, thankful you hadn’t actually left yet because her car broke down. Even though you don’t live far apart, you feel like you don’t see her nearly often enough. So the car ride is a nice way to catch up. 
Now that it’s the first full day, you’re ready to explore a little bit. Your parents mentioned a little cafe in the lodge that sounds like the perfect place to get a cup of coffee. Of course, you could make it in the room, but it probably wouldn’t taste as good. Bundled up, you head down to the lodge and look out for the cafe. It ends up being pretty easy to find. And it’s not the only thing. 
It’s like a pull that you can’t explain, the way your eyes fall on someone sitting in an armchair just to the side of the cafe. His dark hair has that slightly tousled look, probably from being outside, and his glasses keep sliding down his nose. As you watch, he absently pushes them back up, eyes glued on the book in his lap. There is no world where it makes sense that he’s here and also no world where he could be anyone else. You’re debating whether or not to approach him when he looks up. The smile he sends your way has you feeling things that you know you shouldn’t. 
Your feet carry you towards him without permission and he rises to meet you part way. “Hey, what are you…” 
At the same time, he starts to say, “wow, small world.”
It’s a little awkward (read: a lot) and neither of you really know what to say. It’s been two years since you last saw each other, two years since you last spoke, two years since the break up that nearly tore you apart. Even though it’s been long enough that you feel better about it, it’s still awkward. He probably feels it too, the uncertainty of running into each other someplace so unexpected. The question of how to move forward. 
“So, um, this is…” Wonwoo starts.
“Awkward? Weird? Unexpected?” you offer through a forced laugh.
“What are you doing here?” he asks.
“My family is here for Christmas,” you answer. “Yours too?” 
“Yeah,” he says. 
“Right,” you say. “Well, I was just going to get…”
“Can we talk? Maybe over lunch or something?” he asks just as you’re ready to turn around. 
You’re rooted to the spot, unable to answer him right away. Can you? Yes, you definitely have that capability. Should you? That’s a bit harder to answer. Your brain is full of images of your past relationship - the good, the bad, the ugly - and your current situation. Maybe Wonwoo still does know you, at least well enough to read your face, because he speaks up again.
“Never mind, that was silly to ask,” he says.
“No, it wasn’t. I’m sorry. I’m just, I don’t know, a little overwhelmed, I guess,” you admit.
“Me too, if it helps,” he says. 
You look down at your watch. It’s a little earlier than you usually eat lunch, but maybe that’ll be a good thing. “Do you wanna get something now?”
“What about your coffee?” Wonwoo asks.
“I’m sure the restaurant has some,” you say before you lose the courage. 
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Lunch is actually surprisingly easy. Well, after you get some of the awkwardness out of the way. But, it gives you a chance to say a lot of things you both kept to yourselves. Back when you were dating Wonwoo, it got harder until it was too much. He was always soft spoken, always afraid to burden anyone else with his problems. Even when you reminded him that’s what partners were for, he just kept most of it to himself. Which wasn’t healthy for either of you. You wanted things out in the open so you could talk about them, he kept them to himself. Something tiny could fester into something much bigger and then become a real issue. Even when it came to issues at work or with other friends, he was hesitant to mention it. By not wanting to be a burden, he ended up driving a massive wedge between you. And he’s able to share things with you, too. Like how it wasn’t always easy to want to share when he felt pressured. He knows you only cared, but sometimes he wasn’t ready. Sometimes he couldn’t talk about it in the moment and just needed a day to process. Something he knows that he should have shared with you, as well. 
It turns into a much longer meal than either of you expect. After talking about your relationship, you fill in the last two years. He talks about work and friends and reluctantly admits that he hasn’t dated anyone seriously since you. When it’s your turn, you stumble over explaining Soonyoung, ending up opting for full transparency. If he’s surprised, he hides it well. Seems to understand that trying something a little different can be exactly what you need. When you finally check your phone to see you’re running late to meet your cousins, you say goodbye with a promise to hang out again. And an assurance that you haven’t changed your number and he isn’t blocked. 
You spend most of the afternoon playing games with your cousins and sharing what you’ve been up to. The cousin that rode with you, and knows Wonwoo the best, is nearly on the floor when you tell her that he’s here somehow. Especially because she also knows Soonyoung and likes him, but thinks he’s not the long term plan for you. She’s a little surprised, given how much you smiled about seeing Wonwoo, at how fiercely you defend Soonyoung. It’s just, well, he’s been a lot for you in so many ways. Yes, some of it has been painful and some of it has involved learning things you’re not sure you needed to. But, it’s also been safe and protected. It’s allowed you to grow in ways you never expected. 
An afternoon of gaming turns into a night of dinner in the suite, more games, and drinking. Your cousin takes your phone and texts Wonwoo from it. Invites him over to the room to pick you up. Of course, she doesn’t tell you any of that. But, when you answer the door and see your ex on the other side, he suggests you check your phone. You shoot your cousin a look and grab your coat. He’s here, so you might as well go with him. When he holds out his hand for you, you take it and follow him into the night. 
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The next days pass in a kind of haze. It’s so pretty to be at the resort, watching the way snow seems to fall more often than not, even if it’s just a light flurry for 20 minutes. There’s a beautiful, tucked away corner of the lodge where you can sit in rocking chairs by floor to ceiling windows. It gives you a perfect vantage point to watch the snow, or watch people coming down trails, watch anything. You’re with Wonwoo more than your own family, a fact that nobody seems to talk about. Maybe because everyone liked Wonwoo and nobody really understood why it ended. You hadn’t wanted to talk about it. And now it doesn’t seem to matter. The man before you isn’t the same boy that you walked away from two years ago. You’re not the same either. Both of you get a lot of time nestled away in the cocoon of the holiday vacation to talk about that. To talk about who you are now and where you want to be. About if things would turn out differently now.
It’s all kind of a practiced dance, though, because Wonwoo knows that Soonyoung exists. He knows that there’s someone you’re not really ready to let go that may be waiting for you to get back to have an important conversation. (He is waiting for you, but you don’t tell Wonwoo that. Because it may not be in the way you wish he was waiting for you. What you do know is that he’s been sending you a lot of messages. There are a lot of things that seem to remind him of you. So, he’s constantly on your mind.) And there are some things that haven’t changed about Wonwoo, too. One of those things is that he doesn’t really find the idea of sharing a partner appealing. Even though he’s one of the most secure people you know, you can also tell what he thinks about the complication of your current situation. There’s no judgment, only more hurdles. It’s like he wants you to consider giving him another shot, but he doesn’t really know where to start. 
Since Christmas Eve and Christmas morning are for family, you get a much needed break from having Wonwoo around constantly. Not that you mind, it’s just that your head needs a little space. You need to figure out what exactly you want. Which isn’t really any easier when you’re separated from your ex, sadly. Both he and Soonyoung are still fighting for space. Your thoughts are kind of a jumbled mess. 
(It doesn’t help that Soonyoung calls you on Christmas Eve. Or that the call turns into FaceTime and that turns into the two of you getting off. Phone sex wasn’t ever really something you were into before him. You didn’t really get the appeal of it. But, you’ve seen the positives of it with him. Still can’t really believe how easy it is for him to push you over the edge when he’s not even with you. And you kind of like knowing you do the same to him, seeing his cum paint his stomach after he finishes. He gets a little sappy after he comes, too. When you’re both cleaned up, he’s still there. Telling you that he misses you and that the city feels a little lonely without you there. It’s not like you haven’t left before, but this just feels different to him. He says it all without seeming to think much about it and you’re not really sure how to take it. Is it honest? Or is it the post orgasm haze?) 
But, after Christmas dinner, you’re on your own to do whatever you want. And you know what you don’t need to do. You know that you don’t need to make this whole mess inside your head more complicated than it already is. You do really miss Soonyoung and all his energy. There’s something infectious about him. But, you also know that he’s been very clear on his wants and needs, even if he says you need to talk when you’re back about what’s going on. Then, there’s all your returning feelings for Wonwoo after all the time you’ve spent with him the past several days. Soonyoung seemed to skate over you mentioning running into your ex like it didn’t matter. Or that he trusts you and that the relationship is open, which is the more likely answer. All of that leads to sitting on the couch of Wonwoo’s suite, sipping a glass of wine. 
“What’s going on here?” you ask, interrupting the formerly comfortable silence. 
“We’re drinking wine on Christmas?” Wonwoo suggests.
You turn your head to look at him and find he’s a little confused. “I don’t mean that. I mean,” you gesture between the two of you, “here.” 
“Ah,” Wonwoo says and takes a sip. 
“Yeah,” you say.
“I don’t know, honestly. I know I missed you and that I feel like things are different now. I think we could have actually worked through our issues if we were these people,” Wonwoo says.
“But?” you prompt. Because there’s so clearly a but coming to what he said.
“You’re in a relationship,” he finishes. 
“An open one,” you remind him.
“That you’re not really sure how to define,” he presses back.
“We aren’t even sure if we’d work together again and you’re already worried about what’s going on with Soonyoung,” you sigh. 
“What do you mean?” he asks.
“We’ve got history and it’s been so nice to be around you. But, if we were to try something out again, we’re not just going to jump back into it being serious right away,” you tell him.
“No, I wouldn’t expect it to,” Wonwoo agrees. 
“So does it really matter if I’m seeing someone else? Does anyone outside of us really matter while we’re figuring things out?” you ask.
This is a definite crossroads for Wonwoo. He’s always been very logical and impossibly smart. In all the time you knew him, he was one to weigh things out and go with what made the most sense. It wasn’t like him to be overly emotional about things. Except, apparently, when it came to you. So, this is a big ask. For him to just set aside personal feelings for you and consider the logic behind what you’re saying. It’s a crossroads for you, too. Because you do know it makes sense to consider exploring whatever’s been happening between the two of you. To not have any what-ifs or questions when you go back to the city. To actually explore another genuine connection so you can better understand what you do or don’t feel for Soonyoung.
Wonwoo sighs and nods. “Yeah, you’re right. Focusing on this and figuring it out doesn’t involve anyone else but us.”
“So that last little line of defense stops now?” you ask, hopeful.
“Last line of defense?” he asks. 
You gesture at the space between you. “Ever since I ran into you, there’s always space for the Holy Spirit between us.” 
Both of you laugh at that when Wonwoo’s face cracks into a smile. It erases the last little bit of tension left between the two of you. It’s clear that he means he’s going to give it a real shot to figure out what’s going on without worrying about anyone else. Wonwoo shifts closer to you, rests his arm on the back of the couch behind you, and presses his thigh into yours. 
“Do you still think there’s space for the Holy Spirit?” he asks. 
“No,” you say with a light laugh. 
“I’ve missed you, doll,” he admits and presses a kiss against your temple. 
“I’ve missed you, too,” you say. You turn your body so your back is against the arm of the couch and drape your legs over his lap. It’s a little more comfortable and it lets you look at him easier. 
“It’s so weird to me, running into you here,” he says and you laugh.
“I’d say it’s some kind of fate, but I know you don’t believe in that kinda shit,” you offer.
“I don’t know that I do, but having you around has given me a break from my family,” he shares. 
“Your family is great,” you disagree. 
“They are, but it’s a lot of people time,” he says with a sigh.
Which is why you suggest that you just sit back and watch a movie, something a little scary because you know that’s what he prefers. It doesn’t have to be some Christmas movie, you’ve gotten enough of that with your cousins in the lead up to the holiday. So, you let him pick something and settle back, appreciating the closeness. 
The movie is good, but you’re kind of a fidgeter. You make it through the first half easily, but in the second half, you start getting a little sick of sitting still. Just little things. Adjusting how you’re sitting. Moving your legs slightly. Reaching out for one of Wonwoo’s hands. Something to trick your body into thinking it’s moving. Until it’s a little more than just a movement. Without even thinking, you pull one of your legs towards you, let your knee bend for a second, because it’s a little stiff, and slide it back. It isn’t until Wonwoo sucks in a breath and clenches his jaw that you realize your foot slid right over his dick. 
“Wonwoo, I’m sorry, I didn’t - “ you start, but he’s moving your legs.
“Let’s go,” he says as he stands up.
“What?” you ask. “Go where?” 
“Come on, sweetheart, I’m not gonna play these fucking games,” he says and pulls you up off the couch. 
You’re really caught off guard, because it had been an accident, but your body remembers this. He’s guiding you in front of him to one of the bedrooms and pressing you inside. As soon as you’re both through, he closes and locks the door. Then, he presses you back into it and kisses you hard. Crowds your space so you can’t move an inch. You gasp when he nips at your lip. This has always been the thing about Wonwoo. He’s so quiet and soft spoken and unassuming around everyone else. Just the smart boy who likes to read and play video games. Until he gets you behind closed doors and a switch flips. 
“Fuck, Nu, I swear it was an accident,” you groan as he kisses down your neck.
“So, you don’t wanna get fucked into the mattress? Don’t want me to show you I still know exactly what you like?” he asks.
You’re not the same person you were two years ago, though. “Maybe I like different things now.” 
“We’ll see about that,” he says. 
Before you can respond, he’s kissing you again. Hard and needy and like there isn’t a tomorrow. Maybe there isn’t for the two of you. It’s not like you’ve managed to clear anything up. 
Wonwoo presses his hips into you. Places his hands on either side of your head against the door behind you. It’s so easy to fall into old patterns with him, where you give up your control. Your hands run along his back, underneath his shirt, and he shivers at the touch. It makes him thrust his hips into you again. It makes him grab your hands and pin them in one of his above your head. His lips are demanding when they return to yours, like he’s taking what you owe him. 
There’s no point in begging for more. It would only make him go slower. So, you accept his tongue into your mouth when he keeps kissing you. You let your hands stay pinned above your head. You even chase his lips when he pulls away. It’s hard to suppress the shudder when his lips brush against your ear. 
“I want to fuck you,” he whispers. “I want to press your pretty face into the mattress and get your ass in the air. Do you want that?”
“Yes,” you whimper out. 
Wonwoo pulls away from you and starts to undress. It’s hard to take your eyes off of him because he’s so beautiful. The broadness of his shoulder and his slender waist. The muscles that he hides behind all the layers flex as he pulls off his shirt and steps out of his pants. But, then he’s looking at you expectantly. Likely wondering why you’re fully dressed. You make quick work of getting out of your clothing before turning back to him. 
“Sit on the edge of the bed, babydoll,” he instructs. You hasten to listen to what he asks and he smiles. Not a soft smile. “Open your legs.” 
You do that as well. With your hands on the bed behind you, you lean backwards. Wonwoo kneels down between your legs and runs a hand up your calf. He nips softly at your thighs, sharp enough to make you gasp but not hard enough to leave a mark. As he moves to your other thigh, he spreads your legs further. Only places a light kiss on your other thigh before his hand returns to your pussy. His fingers spread you open and he blows gently. The sensation makes you shiver. It makes you want to beg for him. Instead, you just grip the sheets tighter. Wonwoo chuckles, probably at your attempt to hold back, and licks a stripe up your center. Flattens his tongue against you and runs it slowly through your folds. 
“Oh god,” you moan. You don’t need to look down to see that it makes Wonwoo smile, but you do anyway.
He continues to work you with his tongue, alternating the pace so that you never really know what to expect. His thumb rubs circles over your clit. Maybe he does still know how to get you going. Or maybe your body just remembers him. Either way, he feels so good. You’re entirely more pent up than you feel like you should be. It would be embarrassing if it was with someone you weren’t comfortable with. 
“Fuck, please, baby, I need your fingers,” you beg. 
“You getting close?” he asks.
“Yes, fuck, please,” you cry out.
“Do you think you deserve to come?” he asks. It’s only his thumb on your clit that keeps you going.
“Please,” you beg and hope it’s enough.
It must work because his tongue returns to your cunt and he slides one of his perfect fingers inside as well. The second is in before you realize it and your moans are more sounds than anything intelligible. It’s an unsurprisingly short time before you make a mess of his face and fingers. After he guides you through your orgasm, he stands up and leans over you. Pulls you in for a kiss so that you can taste yourself on his lips. It’s enough to make you a little dizzy. Entirely too soon, he’s breaking the kiss. He runs his hand over his dick and looks at you.
“Spit in your hand,” he directs and you do it without thinking. The post-orgasm haze still has hold of you. 
You don’t need him to tell you what to do next. Before he can say anything, you take over and run your hand down his shaft. Slide your thumb carefully over his tip. Wonwoo clenches his jaw like he’s trying not to let you know just how good it feels. Because you still know him too. You continue to stroke him and take his cock into your mouth. Just the tip, at first. When you look up at him under your lashes, you know that he’s going to lose the battle. 
“Fuck, babydoll, that mouth is better than I remember,” he groans out. His hands wind into your hair, but he doesn’t fuck into your face. You’re a little surprised he can hold back. Especially when you swirl your tongue around his tip. “Okay enough of this.”
Wonwoo, with surprising gentleness, pulls you off of his dick. You have just enough time to look at him triumphantly before he’s moving you back into the bed. He gets you on your hands and knees, presses your back down so that your ass is in the air and your face presses into the pillow in front of you. You arch your back deeper so that he has the best angle. The bed shifts under you and you assume that he’s lining up behind you. He presses a finger into your pussy again and you squirm for a second. When he removes it, you want to complain. But, he’s quick to line himself up and press his cock into you. The pillow muffles your moan as he presses all the way in. His hands find purchase on your hips as he sets a slow rhythm. 
It doesn’t seem like it’s enough, though. His hand finds it’s way into your hair and he pulls back, more gently than he used to. “Is this still okay?” 
His voice is hoarse in your ear. “Fuck, Nu, yes. Be rough with me.” 
It’s all the permission he needs. His hand slides up your body to take your nipple between too skilled fingers. The first twist has you screaming out for him, wanting him to continue. And he does, all while picking up the pace that he fucks into you. He keeps you pressed against his chest. The snap of his hips and the skin slapping together isn’t enough to cover your stream of profanities. Wonwoo places a hand lightly over your throat, using it to anchor you to him. Your loud moan and reassurance of permission makes him squeeze a little tighter. It’s that perfect sensory deprivation to make it all the more intense. Between that and your earlier orgasm, you’re a bit on overload. It’s a kind of mind blankness that you haven’t felt in awhile. Nothing else exists but the pursuit of pleasure. Your mind is totally empty.
Eventually, his movements start to stutter and he releases your throat. Directs you to rub your clit. You hardly need to touch yourself before you feel your second orgasm rip through you, coming all over his dick. He snaps a few more times before pulling out of you. His cum paints over your ass and your back. Wonwoo collapses next to you and you lower yourself down onto your stomach, trying not to make too much of a mess. 
After a moment, Wonwoo presses a kiss to your shoulder. “What do you, babydoll, do I still know you?” 
“It’s like nothing ever changes,” you admit. 
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The two days after Christmas seem to pass just as quickly as the days before Christmas. Something feels like it’s shifted with you and Wonwoo, but maybe not in the way you expect. You’re still spending a decent amount of time with him, still being pretty affectionate, but you don’t end up naked in his bed again. It could just be you, though it feels like a joint decision. It feels like it’s some unspoken agreement. 
Everything with Wonwoo has been amazing, like a little break from reality. It’s been so nice to get to see him again, to get to talk about your relationship and everything it meant. Even though you’ve both changed a lot, it’s nice to realize how well he still knows you. And he seems to accept all the ways you’ve changed in stride, which surprises you a little. Change had never been his favorite thing. There’s also just a general sense of nostalgia to your interactions with him. He’s safe in the way someone says that you can always go home. It feels like falling into old patterns. 
But, that’s not what life is supposed to be, is it? Life is about taking chances and risks and pushing yourself out of your comfort zone. Falling back into step with Wonwoo would be so easy. It’s obvious that he still loves you, or maybe loves you again. It’s so easy to picture what your life with him looks like because you remember. You remember all the plans the two of you made. It just feels kind of stagnant, though. You know the kind of love you’re getting back into. It’s not even about not trusting him or worrying it would end up in another break-up. Things are different enough with your communication that you trust it would be different on that front.
It’s just, if you’re being honest with yourself, you can’t get Soonyoung off your mind. Even when you’ve been with Wonwoo, there’s that small voice in the back of your mind whispering Soonyoung’s name. It’s also really hard to stop thinking about what he said before you left. Maybe it doesn’t mean anything changes. Maybe it only means that you define the relationship a little more clearly and it’s still open. But, if you move forward with Wonwoo, you know what that means for Soonyoung. You know it means you’re going to be saying goodbye to the person who’s challenged you, who’s pushed you, who’s forced you out of your comfort zone. You’re just not sure you can do that.
By the time the last night comes around, you know that you need to have an actual conversation with Wonwoo before leaving. Life doesn’t always give you the chance for closure, so you know to take it when it comes around.
“This is it for us, isn’t it?” Wonwoo asks. 
“Yeah, I think it is,” you say. 
“I hope he knows what he’s got,” Wonwoo says with a sigh. “By the time I figured it out, it was too late.” 
“I hope you know that everything I felt for you was so real, that it’s still real now. It’s just…” you start.
“Not enough?” he finishes and you frown. “It’s okay, I’m not upset. I knew from the start that this was a long shot.” 
“Why did you do it, then?” you ask.
“Because I would have regretted it if I left something unsaid or undone,” he says simply.
“I’m so sorry, Wonwoo,” you say.
“I’m not. I’m thankful we got this chance. Now, I have the closure I needed to actually move on,” he says. 
You’re not sure what else to do, so you just wrap your arms around him. His arms wrap around you without missing a beat and he places a kiss on the top of your head. The two of you stand like that for a few minutes, letting all the feelings wash over you. It’s the next part that’s going to be the scariest.
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You haven’t properly talked to Soonyoung since the two of you had phone sex on Christmas Eve. Which is actually on you, at least this time, because he’s been keeping up a relatively steady stream of texts. Asking how the vacation was, how it was to be around your family, even how it was to see your ex. And you haven’t done anything wrong, you know you haven’t, but it still feels like too much to text. It feels like the kind of thing you need to tell him when you’re back in your apartment. Thankfully, you don’t even have to ask if he wants to come by. He knows your schedule, knows how long the drive is, and even assumes you’re tired. Despite that, he asks if he’s okay to come over anyway. He even insists that he just wants to see you, sex can be off the table. (Unless you want to fuck on the kitchen table, because that might be hot, he says.)
He’s at your door in what feels like record time, puffy jacket and beanie covering most of his head and upper body. His arms wrap around you before he even gets through the door or takes off his layers. It feels like he smells your hair when he buries his face there, but you can’t be sure. It’s almost a project to get him to unlatch himself long enough to take off his outer layers and remove his shoes before joining you on the couch. Where he clings to you like the idea of personal space is foreign. It’s more comforting than you’d like to admit. You’re at ease, but your heart is also beating entirely too fast.
“I missed you,” he says softly.
“I missed you, too,” you say back. 
“No, I really missed you. My sister kept asking me the whole time I was there if I was okay,” he admits. He separates a little, but keeps hold of one of your hands. 
You’re not really used to this side of him, haven’t seen him this soft in all the time you’ve known him. “Were you not? You seemed okay in your messages.” 
“I -,” he starts, frowns, and then opens his mouth again. “I was okay, when we were texting. Mostly. But, I guess, I’m just used to you being around. I’m used to sending you something, like something that makes me think of you, and having you answer right away.” 
“You were sending a lot,” you tease lightly.
“I kept wondering,” he starts and shakes his head.
“Wondering what, Soon?” you ask. 
“Do you remember before you left that I said I wanted to talk after the holidays?” he asks and you nod. 
“Of course, I thought about it a lot,” you admit.
“You did?” The surprise is evident on his face and you’re not sure what it means.
“Yeah, there were a lot of times I couldn’t really get it off my mind, honestly,” you share. 
“I figured…well with your ex there and you spending so much time with him,” Soonyoung says.
Your stomach drops a little. “Listen, about that…”
“You don’t have to tell me,” he says, trying to cut you off. It’s your turn to grab his hands, though.
“I do, though. Which is selfish, probably, but I need to tell you for me,” you say.
“You’re getting back together with him,” Soonyoung guesses and his whole body seems to slump. You’re not sure what to make of him caring so much and don’t really want to get your own hopes up.
“No,” you assure him. “No, I think that chapter of my life is over. Seeing him just brought up a lot of unfinished shit. And then with the holidays and the resort. I did…well, we did have sex. Just once, on Christmas.”
Soonyoung nods, but doesn’t seem relieved. “I figured you would, I did basically push you to try other things out. Are you going to see him again now that you’re back here?”
“No,” you say again. “But, I think I want to hear what you were going to say.” 
“I’m not sure now is…” he starts and nearly melts at the look you give him.
“Please,” you say so softly it’s barely audible. 
“I should’ve gone with you when you asked,” he says and that brings you up short. You never dared to hope for that much. “I knew it as soon as you were gone. But, I figured it’d be fine. I’d be right where you left me when you got back. Then, you ran into your ex and you seemed happy for the chance. I thought I’d fucked up and that you’d fall for him again. I considered just showing up. I chickened out, though. I figured if it was supposed to work out, then it would. Part of me even hoped you might fuck him and that you’d realize what it took me just a little too long to realize.”
“And what’s that?” you prompt.
“That I’m ready to give actual commitment a try. That I don’t want to think about sharing you with anyone else,” he says and his voice drops to a whisper. “That I love you.” 
“What did you just say?” you ask. 
He takes a deep breath and meets your eyes. “That I love you. And I’m sorry.” 
You don’t even realize you’re crying until he wipes a tear from your cheek. “I love you, too, you giant idiot. It’s always been you for me. It wasn’t ever going to be my ex. I’m not sorry, though. Everything that we’ve experienced, it’s been exactly what I needed.” 
“You know what this means though, right?” he asks and you shake your head. “No more fucking anyone that’s not me.” 
“We don’t have to…” you start. You don’t want to change him, never have. He’s always been perfect exactly the way he is. 
“I know, but I want to. It’s only you. I think it always has been and you just knew it a lot before I did,” he says.
“Can you just kiss me now?” you ask through your tears. 
When your lips meet, it’s so slow and tender. So full of affection and joy and everything left unsaid. For now, at least. If there’s anything you know about Soonyoung, it’s that he doesn’t like to keep much to himself. It’s been so much, so overwhelming. Even though the kisses are languid, you feel the heat building between the two of you. Feel the desire getting stronger. That’s when he breaks the kiss. Your face must look confused or disappointed because he smiles, so full of genuine affection, and stands up. He holds a hand out to you.
“I don’t want the first time after telling you that I love you to be on your couch,” he says. 
Your smile matches his when you take his hand and interlace your fingers. He brings your hands up to his lips and places a kiss on your knuckles. Doesn’t let go of your hand even when you’re in your bedroom. He sits down on the edge of the bed and pulls you between his legs. It makes you lean down to kiss him, but it’s kind of nice. He finally lets go of your hand so that he can wrap his arms around you instead. When Soonyoung looks up at you, eyes full of affection, it’s just more than you can handle. 
“Please, Soonie,” you whisper.
“What?” he asks.
“Don’t look at me like that,” you request.
“Like what?” he asks.
“Like I’m the only person in the entire world,” you say.
He only smiles at first. “I had a lot of time to think when you were away. I’m just appreciating you now.”
“I’m not going anywhere,” you assure him.
“I wouldn’t let you.” 
Finally, he pulls you into bed and it’s the most perfect night you’ve ever spent with him. And you’ve had a lot of great nights. He always takes his time with you, always makes sure you’re well taken care of. It’s different now. His lips are everywhere and his hands seem to need to find whatever part of you they can. You’ve never felt so loved and so safe, even with him. Even though he always makes it comfortable. You know that you made the right choice.
(You’re sure when he’s got you seeing stars from his mouth between your legs. You’re sure when he’s sucking marks into your skin where only he can see them. You’re sure when he asks you to tie his hands to the bed. You’re sure when he asks you to untie him so he can fuck you into the mattress. You’re especially sure when he wraps himself around you to fall asleep. It’s everything you’ve wanted, but only because it’s him. It wouldn’t be the same with anyone else.)
Morning comes and everything looks even better in the soft light of a winter’s morning. You’re not sure you’re ever going to get Soonyoung out of your bed (or your apartment) and you’re not really sure you want to. The new year is right around the corner and you can’t wait to see what it brings the both of you.
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thanks for coming on this ride with me 💕 please reblog or let me know your thoughts if you liked it!
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cryptidcorners · 7 months
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Could I have a fluffy imagine/one-shot of Mike with a librarian girl? Like Mike goes back to the place he got the dream book from, and now he wants something to get his mind off (the trauma of the movie) so the librarian helps him find something else he’d like. Maybe a Sherlock Holmes detective or something. Thanks so much!
~ Mike Schmidt x Reader ~
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= Title: Friendly Nostalgia
= Character: Mike Schmidt
= Media: Movie!Five Nights At Freddie's
= Prompt: N/A
= Description: The aftermath of Mike's job as a security guard had got him thinking, as well as tripled his internal hardships. In an attempt to cool his troubling mind, Mike decides to go into his old library to find one of his favorite literatures, and maybe a new friend along the way.
= Request: "Could I have a fluffy imagine/one-shot of Mike with a librarian girl? Like Mike goes back to the place he got the dream book from, and now he wants something to get his mind off (the trauma of the movie) so the librarian helps him find something else he’d like. Maybe a Sherlock Holmes detective or something. Thanks so much!"
= Tags: Fluff ! Small Angst? Librarian Reader + Setting, Shy Mike, Sweet Talk, One-Shot, Platonic (with Slight Romantic Implications? It's up for you to decide !) + Reader is !Fem
= Warnings: Childhood Trauma + Kidnapping Mentions, Child Death/Spirits, Struggles with Mental Health (Depression, Anxiety, Stress) + FNAF Movie Spoilers !
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Morning birds flocked through the featherweighted clouds thinning across the fresh sky. A chilled exhale rattled out of Mike's throat, the cold dawning air nipping at his skin. His head was foggy with exhaustion, yet flickering with soft excitement. The streets were empty, much to his content. Crowded boulevards and sputtering car exhaust muddied his senses, he hated it more than anything.
He shoved his reddened hands down his pockets to shield the breezes from his fingertips. Mike hated the overwhelming traits of the outside world even more after his accursed job as a solo-unit of security. The crumbled children in the machines, Vanessa wilting away within her hospital bed and William. It was too much and he couldn't handle it.
This whole mess was the reason he was heading towards his local library, one he hadn't stepped in the years. It was the only place he was comfortable visiting now. It was quiet, no people to talk to, and he'd be able to pluck out his favorite contents in peace.
Mike had been particularly fixated on Sherlock Holmes, lately. The whole idea of mysteries had made him want to learn more, even after being injured at Freddie's. Weirdly enough, after scavenging through his old contents, it unraveled more and more about what happened those dreaded nights ago.
Mike hummed quietly as he lazily pushed the glass door. The silence calmed his senses. There were a few locals, but they were buried between pages. After awkwardly exposing his card and being gently discarded to explore the aisles alone. He started trailing around the mystery section. He couldn't pick one story, so he was doing nothing but strolling.
"Do you need some help?" A voice peaked his shoulders for a flash. "Sorry, I didn't mean to startle you, sir."
You apologized, your voice was soothed. Mike shook his head gently, "No, no. It's fine, don't worry."
A smile spreads across your lips and you read the aisle with an eager eye. "You like mystery?"
"I've just gotten into it, really." Mike slid his hands through his curls promptly. It was strange how comfortable he felt, it felt tender, weird enough. "It's a sweet genre. I like it when it keeps me guessing. Gets my mind off everything."
"Yeah. Fiction is a great outlet, that's why I became a librarian." You explained warmly, "It's something I've always dreamed of."
Mike released a breathy chuckle in response, unsure how to reply.
You extended your hand towards the neatly rowed bookshelf, trailing your finger until you slipped out a rough looking cover. Your eyes wandered to him, "You like Sherlock Holmes?"
"He's actually the reason I'm here." Mike tilted his head lightly with a calmed grin. He had no idea why he felt so comfortable around some random librarian girl he had just met, but he had no internal reason to question it. "I have a few of his stories at my house, my little sister found them."
"That's adorable," you brushed your cheek. "Maybe you'd like this one. Personally, I think it's one of his most underrated works." You handed him the book, and his eyes flickered up and down in interest.
"Wow,"
"Cool right?"
Mike nodded.
"I don't think I've seen you before here, uh," You trailed off.
"Oh. Oh, sorry, I'm Mike. Mike Schmidt," He shook your hand softly. "I actually haven't been here in a long time."
You arched a brow, face still settled, "What made you come back?"
"Well, first off, Sherlock Holmes." He shook the book lightly with a low chuckle. "And, well, work. It's been hard, so, I thought I could read a bit to calm things down."
You curled down to pile some scattered books in your hand, "Well, I hope you come back again, Mike. Maybe we can talk about some more stories, outside of here of course. I get a bit loud with stories."
You both chuckled, "I'll come back. I could always use some more mystery." Mike had been clutching the book with eager hands, along with a fluttered expression. He hadn't connected with someone in quite a while. It felt refreshing.
"Well, I have to get back to work. Goodbye, Mike." You stirred back into the halls. Mike whispered in response. "Thank you,"
He wanted to talk more, but, he didn't want to hold you back. Mike's eyes flew down to the hard-leathered surface. He chewed his lip,
I should have asked her for her name . . .
And with that thought resting heavily in his mind, Mike left the library, with a giddy attitude and a little too many mystery books in his hands.
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starlostastronaut · 6 months
Text
DAY 03 | A STATE OF MIND
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PAIRING: bang chan x reader
GENRE: angst, hurt/comfort, eventual fluff
WC: 1.76k
CW: (not only) appearance insecuritues (chan), mentions of hate comments, implied panic attack/mental breakdown (chan), there's crying, and lot of kisses, y/n used like once, chan gets called baby
PROMPT: you're beatiful - the rose
well, the angst is here. trust me to take a cute song and turn it into this lol. i promise it gets better as we go, and i don't really go into much detail, but still mind the cw. i still hope you enjoy <3
title from you're beatiful - the rose
general masterlist here
<< previous | mctc masterlist | next >>
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You knocked on the door to the 3RACHA + Hyunjin dorm. Tapping your foot against the ground, you waited for one of the boys to let you in. “Come on, guys, come on,” you murmured, growing more and more impatient with every second that passed. This truly was the worst time to forget your keys at home. But you were in such a hurry to get here that the thought of bringing anything but the absolute essentials, such as your phone or the keys to your own apartment, hadn't crossed your mind until you were halfway to the dorm.
When Changbin called you twenty minutes ago, begging you to come over, you weren’t thinking straight. As soon as Chan's name was mentioned, you grabbed your stuff and ran out the door. Poor Changbin didn't even get to finish what was so urgent, but that didn't matter. You will find out when you go there. What mattered was the fact that something was going on with Chan, and you were too far away from him. So there you were, in the hallway of the Stray Kids’ apartment complex, standing in front of the door like an idiot. Just as you were starting to entertain the thought of busting the door down, the doorknob moved and revealed Minho in a similarly distressed state as you. His hair was messy, his hoodie rumpled, and there were a few faint damp patches around his chest and shoulders.
“Thank god you're here.” Minho let out a sigh of relief, ushering you to come inside and towards Chan's room, not even pointing out the fact that you didn't take off your shoes. Oh, so this was really serious then. Minho was very particular about these sorts of things, so the fact that he now completely ignored one of his precious house rules spoke volumes on its own. Walking through the apartment, you noticed the rest of the members sitting or standing around, looking similarly uneasy. Hyunjin and Jisung paused their murmured conversation with Changbin to give you a small wave as a greeting, which you returned. Out of the corner of your eye, you saw Seungmin comforting a crying Jeongin, but before you could inspect the scene further, you were dragged away by Minho. “Yongbok is with him right now, but he keeps asking for you,” the dancer said, placing a hand on your shoulder blade and gently nudging you towards the closed door.
“Um… Do you mind telling me what exactly happened? I kind of rushed here before Changbin got the chance to explain.” You ran your hand through your hair, suddenly feeling a bit awkward.
Minho didn't make a big deal out of it. “It's been a hard few weeks for him. And you know how he is, he never tells us anything and keeps it bottled up. I don't know what set it off, but with the deadlines closing in three days and the haters getting more active lately, I guess it got too much. He broke down about an hour ago, and we don't know what to do,” he explained with the same sad and worried tone he greeted you with. You nodded, and Minho carefully opened the door.
Felix raised his head to the noise, and his eyes sparked up when he saw you. Though it wasn't the usual spark in his eyes, this time it was much more bittersweet. I'm glad you're here, and I'm sorry I can't help more. “Chris, Y/N is here,” Felix whispered in English, gently running his fingers through Chan's hair to make him acknowledge the information.
Watching the whole scene unfold in front of you, you could feel your heart breaking into a million pieces. The two boys were sitting on the bed, Chan cuddled up to Felix. At least he wasn't crying anymore, so that was already a step in a better direction. He still had his face buried in the younger one's chest, though. One of Felix's arms was steadily wrapped around Chan, while the other was now massaging his scalp. Chan looked so small and vulnerable, curled up into a ball like that. You had to fight every urge to run over there, pry him out of Felix's arms, and never let go again. But you knew you had to approach carefully.
Kneeling down next to the bed, you gently ran your hand around Chan's back, letting him know you're here. "Baby," you whispered. “Baby, it's me. Can you look at me, please?’ you said, getting up on the bed as well. Felix gave you a weak smile, and slowly, with so much care, he disentangled himself from Chan, who immediately latched onto you, grabbing you with a force you didn't think he was capable of right now. You didn't even notice Felix and Minho leaving the room; all your attention was focused on your boyfriend the moment you saw him.
“Want to tell me what happened?” you gently asked, hugging Chan tighter when he shook his head, mumbling something about wanting to just hold you for a while. You nodded with a sad smile. “Of course.” He'll tell you later, if he wants to. For now, you would just hold him, knowing that just your presence helped him. He said many times in the past that just being close to you always made him feel better. But now that saying has reached a completely new, heartbreaking level. You watched Chan get comfortable with a stinging pain in your chest. It hurt to see him like this, clinging to you like he's drowning and you're the only thing keeping him above the water.
For a while, you just stayed, intertwined with one another. For the whole time, your fingers gently brushed through Chan's soft curls because you knew it always helped to ground him. As the minutes passed, you felt how Chan's breathing slowly steadied, and he was coming out of his current state. 
Feeling him move, you smiled and helped him into a more sitting position, but you still kept your firm hold on him. Reaching over for the bottles of water Minho brought in some time ago, you handed one to Chan. “Feeling better, baby?”  
He took the bottle and opened it, bringing it to his lips. He set it back down and nodded in response to your question. “I'm sorry… Don't know what…” he mumbled. “The deadlines and comments... It was too much.” 
“Shh, it's okay.” You began stroking his hair again. “They're wrong. Whatever they said to you, they're wrong.”
Chan looked at you. His eyes, always so sparkly and happy, were now heavy with sadness. “They said that I'm not a good leader. That I don't deserve to be an idol because I'm ugly with no talent,” he whispered.
You felt a burst of anger inside you. “Channie,” you said, more insistent this time. One of your hands came to rest on his jaw, your thumb gently caressing his cheek, while the other interlocked your fingers with his, holding his hand tightly. “They're wrong. You're a great leader. No one loves the boys more than you, and we both know you'll do anything for them. You take care of them, of me, of other artists in your company. You protect them when it's needed, and you help them grow and achieve their own success outside of the group. Are those the qualities of a bad leader?” 
Chan shook his head slightly. 
“Exactly. You are the best leader they could ever ask for.” You smiled at him, hoping to convey how much you loved and appreciated him with that one smile. And it might have worked. His face lit up a tiny bit. Blink and you would have missed it, but at this point in your relationship, you were so accustomed to Chan that you sometimes felt like you could read his mind.
“And I don't know who said that other thing, but they need their eyes checked,” you continued. “You are beautiful, Chan, inside and out. From your adorable curly hair..." You reached to kiss the top of his head. “Over your eyes, your nose, your entire face, to your lips.” After every feature, you placed a kiss on that spot, and your heart swelled with happiness when you heard soft giggles coming out of Chan at the fact that he was being showered with kisses all over his face. “And even if the haters don't think that, who cares? Their opinion doesn’t matter. Beauty is much more than looks. It's the personality as well. You have thousands of fans ready to tell you the same because it's true, but you need to believe it yourself. Please try, for me?”
You leaned in to press a final kiss on Chan's lips. When you pulled away, you noticed tears beginning to form in the corners of his eyes. “Oh god no,” you murmured. This was the last thing you wanted to happen. Just as you thought he was getting better, you made him cry again.
“Happy tears. It's happy tears,” Chan quickly said, noticing you getting into your head. “It's okay, you didn't do anything,” he assured you, a small smile creeping up on his face.
“I should be the one telling you that,” you chuckled, cupping his face in your hands and wiping the tears away. 
“Can't have you steal all the spotlight, can I?"
That did get a full laugh out of you. A joke. That meant Chan was coming back. “I'm glad you're feeling better,” you said, your voice sweet and sincere.
“Thank you. For being here and... and helping. I promise I'll try for you,” Chan said, and you lit up at his words. It was going to be a long and difficult road, for sure, but this was already a huge step in the right direction. Then he yawned and snuggled up closer to you. You stroked his back a few times. It was understandable. He was exhausted, both physically and emotionally. “I'll go tell the boys you're okay, and then I'll come back so we can sleep, okay?”
You got a murmured okay in response. Smiling, you gently laid Chan down on the bed and gave him a last kiss into his hair before walking towards the door. When you looked over your shoulder before exiting the room, he was curled to himself just like before, but this time his breathing was slow and steady, his face calm, as his body was finally ready to let go and relax.
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taglist: @stayconnecteed @saintriots @vivioluh @ivaneedssleep
©starlostastronaut 2023 | do not repost/translate my work without permission
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thecuriousquest · 2 months
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May I request a SFW yandere!sanemi x Fem!reader?
I would like yandere sanemi to be kinda soft and not to cruel. Sanemi kidnaps her cause she broke a leg during a mission and he wants her to just stay at his estate forever. Sanemi takes care of her and wraps her leg in new bandages each day, yet, the reader still is upset with him.
I would like some angst to fluff if that’s okay!
You can change up the scenario but I was hoping it could be something like the reader starts to yell at him for kidnapping her and he gets upset. So sanemi screams at her, calling her weak. She starts to cry and sanemi gets soft ;>
Nemi apologizes and feels guilty… then we get hugs from him and care :3
Hope this interests you! Take your time if you would like to write this. Thank you.
This Little Love of Mine
Yan!Sanemi Shinazugawa x Fem!Reader
Note: Sorry this took so long to get to. I finally did it, though! I love the ask. Thank you for the prompt. Hope you have a good one!
TW: Yandere themes, SFW, kidnapping, broken leg, unwilling-ish reader
Side Note: In this, you are a Hashira, and your title is the Ice Pillar.
Master List
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You sit there on Sanemi’s bed as he wraps up your broken leg. You watch him work slowly, meticulously. It’s as if he’s savoring his time with you right now, as if he loves caring for you. Times like this is where his softer side comes out. You don’t see the hardened Wind Pillar that cuts the heads off of demons. Here, you just see Sanemi Shinazugawa as a kind man, a gentle man…yet still a man who won’t let you go.
It’s only been three weeks since you broke your leg, but still, every time you mention going back to your estate, a certain look passes over Sanemi’s face. It’s like a flash of tension causing him to thin his lips in a grimace and furrow his eyebrows in anger. It washes away instantly, but you still catch a glimpse of it. And then silence, and then more silence. You ask him again, still no reply until he finishes wrapping up your leg.
This time, you’re not going to let him get away with acting like this simply because you want to avoid confrontation or whatever might come along with *that* look he gives you when you bring up leaving.
“Sanemi, we have to talk about this. Please, can’t we be adults and discuss what happens once I’m healed?”
The Wind Hashira looks up at you once he finishes bandaging your leg. “This again?”
“Yes, because you never want to talk about it. I want to talk about going back to my estate.”
“No, you’re not leaving. I told you that in the beginning when I brought you here. You’re safer here under my protection. No more missions either. I’ll take care of you. I’ll provide for you. I’ll protect you. You don’t need to be on your own…you clearly can’t do it.”
“The hell, Sanemi? What’s that supposed to mean?”
And there it is…that look…tight lips, furrowed brows, narrowed eyes.
“You know exactly what I mean. You’re just incapable of taking care of yourself. You’re too impulsive. Look at you! Your leg is broken!”
“Things happen! I’ll deal with it!”
“No, you won’t because you’re so goddamn weak!”
He instantly regrets those words as they leave his mouth. Tears bud in your eyes, overflowing and spilling down your cheeks in salty rivers. Your lower lip quivers a bit, now damp and glossy.
“Y/N…”
You look down at your leg, your vision blurred by your tears. Is he right? Are you really so weak that you can’t protect yourself? You’re the Ice Pillar, yet you fold so easily at confrontation, breaking down when the one person you’re closest to calls you “weak”.
“Hey…Y/N…you…I didn’t mean it. Okay? I apologize. But…I can’t let you go. I won’t let you go. No matter how strong you think you are, I won’t risk losing someone I love in this fucked up world. Cruelty swarms this earth like a plague, and I won’t have you taken from me.”
He moves on the bed next to you, pulling you in close and letting you lean against his side. “You can’t leave…you can’t leave me. I’d die without you. Don’t you understand? Everything about you is the reason why I can get up in the morning. You’re the woman I want to be with for the rest of my life.”
“Sanemi…” You can’t help but rest your cheek on his shoulder as you cry. “Please, we can talk about this. Can’t we? I can still be with you and go on missions. I’m a Hashira too!”
“It’s not practical…I’m sorry. I’m sorry you feel like this, but I know what’s best for you.”
It drains you. Everything drains you. You feel like he’s not listening, or maybe he just chooses not to hear you. You don’t know which one it is, but you feel exhausted either way. However, Sanemi does stay with you through it all, through your tears, through your pain at relinquishing your control over your life, through the heartache that comes will leaving your post as the Ice Pillar. He does it because he loves you. He will always love you. Despite the rapid changes going on in your life right now, you know his love will always be a constant.
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taintedcigs · 2 months
Text
— if you're feeling lucky
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pairing: fwb!eddie munson x f!reader
summary: friends with benefit never ends well... or does it? based on this prompt by @dumplingsjinson (wc: 1.2k+)
warnings: just absolute fluff, maybe tiny angst, and a kiss, and thats it, oh and my shitty writing.
author's note: ignore the corny summary im lazy. the title has no meaning i just luv that song omfg. not proofread. based on this lovely request i got from angel @voyeurmunson i hope i did it justice i am so very rusty!!!! and the ending is rushed i AM SORRY
pleaseeee reblog to support me. ty!! mwah.
Y​​ou knew this would eventually happen. You agreed to this stupid "arrangement" knowing that this would be the outcome.
Just because you couldn't keep your feelings in check. Just because the two of you kissed hazily one night, minds filled with each other and the cheap weed Eddie provided. Like a knot that had been waiting to be undone, unraveling, so quickly, fading just as much—if not more quicker.
You should've seen it coming.
From the way your last rendezvous ended, when you accidentally kissed him goodbye on his way home. It was a simple, honest mistake.
Or was it?
The two of you had a set of rules; fucking with no feelings attached, make sure none of it got in the way of your friendship. It was supposed to be simple.
But that goodbye kiss was intimate, more than just fucking, and much more than your stupid friendship.
His cheeks burned a salmon pink, your plushy lips tainting his with something he had never experienced before; pure affection. Making him splutter, almost tripping on his way out of your house.
You barely registered what you did when he finally left, too enamored to even notice. Your son-of-a-bitch subconscious playing its tricks on you, feelings acting out before your logic can even kick in.
Stress ate away at you, but you assumed he wouldn't make a big deal of it. That this wouldn't ruin anything. He would forget this by Monday.
By the time he ignores your fifth call, and even goes as far as to avoid you in town, you start to blame your poor assumption skills. Try to ignore the insecure feelings that churn in your stomach.
Anger replaces those thoughts in an instant, because how could he just fucking end things without even talking to you?
Did he not even like you as a friend anymore?
Did one kiss really disgust him this much?
A lump sits in your throat at the unanswered questions, anxiety seeping through your skin, eating away at your organs, consuming you.
And after hours of endless anxious thoughts rummaging through your mind—and a long talk with your girlfriends where they urged you to talk to him, you end up at his door, arms crossed against your chest, wearing a scowl.
He opens the door with a bewildered gaze, your name falling softly from his lips, like a prayer, devoid of the lewdness it held than the last time you saw him. Much more affectionate, shattering your heart in every way possible.
"What is your problem?" You don't mean to go all out on him, especially when looks this good, bittersweet gaze meeting yours, tousled curly hair framing his face just in the way that has your heart skipping a beat.
"W—what?" He splutters.
You brush past him in a fury, "do you hate me now or something?" Your anger doesn't hold the same weight anymore, tone now laced with insecurity, a sadness that finds its way into your skin.
You don't let him talk, "do you realize how fucking childish this is? Ignoring my calls? Avoiding me?" He watches the way your brows quirk when you explain yourself, teeth pulling on your bottom lip worry, he wants to kiss it, your thoughts, worries away.
"That's not—"
"You could've just talked to me if—if you had any problem, ignoring me is fucked up."
Plushy lips open to speak, to explain himself, but you don't let him, fluttering your thick lashes at him, rambling on and getting more and more upset each time you spoke, tugging at his heartstrings, making him want to slap himself for being the source of your worries.
"We could've just talked this out, you know? W—we could've set up clearer boundaries and uh—" You were growing more and more frustrated, words getting mashed together with how emotional you were being.
"Will you let me—"
Again, you didn't let him speak, wanting to get it all out, knowing that this might've been the last time you spoke to him. Ever.
Your lip wobbled at the thought. "I—I just... 'm sorry, I broke the rules, okay? I—I swear it won't happen again, I don't want our friendship to be—"
"I can't be friends with you anymore!" He breathed, tone loud enough to startle you, the weight of his words taking a while to sink in.
You gulped, physically, mind too hazy to register what he said, that horrible feeling caging your chest, eating up the words that are unable to leave your lips. "Oh... uh—uhm, o—okay." You nervously nip at your nails, not knowing what to do.
"I can't do this anymore, either." He adds, pointing toward the space between the two of you, and you're unable to meet his gaze, too scared. The tears begging to be let out.
"Why—" You take a deep breath before you continue, prying your gaze from his stupid wooden floors, and back into those swirly caramel hues, now big enough to hypnotize you. Softening you in seconds. "Why not?"
"Fuck..." He mumbles, this time he's the nervous one, cheeks flushed with the prettiest pink all over. Fingertips trace against your features, settling on your cheekbones, and you let him. "Because I'm starting to get greedy, sweetheart."
Hope gnaws at your insides, the way something flashes in his gaze has you healing all over, the hold both of you have over each other is strong enough to gravitate you, yet both of you are too dumb to see it, notice it.
Until now.
"I can't just have that and be okay with it... I want—fuck that, I need more," He grumbles, desperate, a silent plea. Your mouth grows dry, lashes fluttering heavily to process it, the world stops spinning on its axis at the implication of his words.
"I need you." You can't help the way your gaze turns mellow, melting into his touch, everything you craved, and more, right in front of you.
A little taste of heaven.
Rolling your eyes playfully, plushy lips stretching into the prettiest smile, followed by a giggle—a heavenly sound he decides he can't fucking live without. "You absolute idiot," you breathe with a shake of your head.
"You didn't think to tell me that? Were you just gonna pull away? Bury your feelings away?"
He mocks a thinking face, "I'd write a few songs about it too, probably." Grin growing wider the more he looks at you, barely registering what the fuck is going on. That you even showed up at his door. That you're even entertaining the idea of being with him.
He's at the palm of your hand, and you don't even know it.
"Idiot."
Pushing a palm over his chest dramatically, he tilts his head in a manner that has you wanting to squeeze his cheeks. "An idiot you like back?"
"Unfortunately." His lips downturn, an exaggerated pout that has your smile stretching.
"An idiot I like too much that it's embarrassing," you add with a scrunch of your nose, a gesture Eddie wants to worship, want to leave open-mouthed kisses all over your face.
"I'll take embarrassing," he whispers, licking his lips before leaning in. You stare at his parted lips a millisecond longer, before pulling him by his stupid Hellfire shirt, pressing your lips hotly against his. 
Eddie only freezes for a second before his instincts take over, a groan rumbling in the back of his throat, deepening the kiss, lips parting to taste you, fully, completely. 
Only breaking the kiss once you consumed him, lazy smirk sitting on his lips, “Told ya we couldn’t be friends anymore,” he teases, that pretty dimple sitting on his cheeks. “Shut up,” you reply with a giggle, interrupting him before he can observe your features and try to drown you in compliments, fisting his shirt once again and pressing your plushy lips against his.
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weirdkpopgirl · 2 months
Text
Pain | Jaemin Imagine #11
Title: Pain
Genre: Angst, slight fluff
Warnings: description/mention of period cramps -- i'm sorry
Word Count: 791
Author's Note: I mean the title and warning makes it pretty obvious, but I wrote this while I was on that time of month. Although I do have a group post for NCT Dream about periods, I wanted to write a little more about it for awhile now. Especially when my experience has been kinda excruciating lately lol. Anyway, please don't read if this topic makes you uncomfortable.
˗ˏˋ ♡ ˎˊ˗˗ˏˋ ♡ ˎˊ˗˗ˏˋ ♡ ˎˊ˗˗ˏˋ ♡ ˎˊ˗˗ˏˋ ♡ ˎˊ˗˗ˏˋ ♡ ˎˊ˗˗ˏˋ ♡ ˎˊ˗˗ˏˋ ♡ ˎˊ˗˗ˏˋ ♡ ˎˊ˗˗ˏˋ ♡ ˎˊ˗
It was 10 a.m. on a Saturday, and you regretted not sleeping in (you didn’t even know how you got out of bed, honestly). Instead, you were hunched over your laptop, typing up the third body paragraph of a research paper that was due next week. However, you found it nearly impossible to concentrate due to the stabbing pain shooting through your abdomen. Lucky for you, your lovely period came knocking at your door the day before. Now you were trying to endure the second day, where the amount of pain only seemed to increase.
A soft groan escaped your lips as you clenched your fists on the desk, willing yourself to push through the agony. But the dull ache in your stomach only seemed to worsen with each passing moment. It was driving you insane, seriously. 
Then just when you were on the verge of breaking, Jaemin entered the room carrying a mug of hot chocolate because he knew you preferred it over coffee. His brows furrowed with concern when he noticed your tense figure, and he immediately caught the pained expression on your face. 
Crossing the room to carefully place the steaming ceramic mug on a coaster near you. “Hey, you don’t look so good,” he said softly, locking eyes with you. “Are you okay, baby?”
Typically, you liked to keep your emotions guarded. The thought of your boyfriend seeing you in such a vulnerable state was the last thing you wanted, especially at a time like this. Despite your efforts to offer him a reassuring smile, it faltered as a new wave of cramps surged through you.
 “It just hurts,” you muttered, firmly pressing your knuckles against your forehead.
Jaemin frowned, realizing this was serious if you weren’t even trying to hide your discomfort from him. He calmly scanned the room in search of anything that might help you.
“Why don’t you take some medicine? I can grab you some painkillers.”
But you quickly shook your head in rejection. “I’ll be fine. I don’t like taking those unless I have to.”
You heard Jaemin sigh before he moved to stand behind you. Then you felt his hands start to gently knead your shoulders, trying to ease some of the tension. On any normal day, your body would’ve stiffened immediately and you might have withdrawn. But right now, you were grateful for his touch and it did help a little.
“Maybe you should put your essay on pause for now,” he suggested, stealing a glance at your screen. “You’ve already done more than enough today. Come lay down with me and rest for a bit?”
Though you hesitated for a moment, your fatigue overridden any inclination to protest. After giving him a weak nod, you allowed Jaemin to lift you from the chair and guide you to the couch. With a deep breath, you sank into the cushion and curled up against your boyfriend’s body. He happily wrapped his arms around you, pulling you closer.
Yet, the pain persisted, even in Jaemin’s comforting embrace. You had to bite your lip to stifle a whimper, as you felt tears prick your eyes. He picked up on your distress fairly quickly, his heart breaking at the sight of your pain. Leaning down, he pressed a soft kiss to your forehead in hopes of bringing you some sort of comfort.
However, the sweetness of his gesture prompted the first tear to stream down your cheek. Perhaps it was a mix of embarrassment, gratitude, and frustration swirling within you. Regardless, Jaemin kept you in his arms and peppered a few more kisses atop your head.
“Shh, it’s okay baby,” he murmured, his deep voice barely above a whisper. “Just let it out, you don’t have to keep it in.”
As if on cue, you closed your eyes and buried your face in Jaemin’s chest. Tears soaked helplessly into the fabric of his white t-shirt, as you clung to him tightly. You weren’t the type to cry in front of others, but the relentless cramps from your stupid period had pushed you to your limit.
Though it stung to hear your sobs and feel your body tremble against his, Jaemin was mostly grateful that you weren’t bottling up your emotions. Holding you close, whispering soothing words of comfort, and his fingers lightly stroking your hair were all things that were second nature to him. 
If he could take all your pain away from you, he swore he would in a heartbeat.
˗ˏˋ ♡ ˎˊ˗˗ˏˋ ♡ ˎˊ˗˗ˏˋ ♡ ˎˊ˗˗ˏˋ ♡ ˎˊ˗˗ˏˋ ♡ ˎˊ˗˗ˏˋ ♡ ˎˊ˗˗ˏˋ ♡ ˎˊ˗˗ˏˋ ♡ ˎˊ˗˗ˏˋ ♡ ˎˊ˗˗ˏˋ ♡ ˎˊ˗
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wangxianficrecs · 25 days
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there's a CHILD in my shrine?? WTF!! by corduroyserpent
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there's a CHILD in my shrine?? WTF!!
by corduroyserpent (@crimsonrainseekingflower)
G, 2k, Hualian & Wei Wuxian
Summary: Hua Cheng: AITA for stealing an orphan off the streets and showering him with love and affection? Correct answers only. Kay's comments: Despite the funny title and summary, the fic itself doesn't belong to the "crack treated seriously" genre and is indeed serious and fluffy. Little A-Ying steals some good at one of Hua Cheng's temples and when he finds out, he decides that he can't leave the child there and brings him home instead. I love me some good Hualian adopt Wei Wuxian stories, so this one is really a treat. Really loved how Hua Cheng teased A-Ying in this story too and Hualian are cute together as well. Excerpt: "That doesn't belong to you,” Hua Cheng said casually as he stepped out into the light, the chains on his black boots jingled crisply as he moved. The owner of the hand flinched. It was attached to a child, malnourished and unbathed. He held the piece of dried fruit he’d swiped to his chest with an iron grip and quickly hunched his shoulders to try and make himself appear smaller. A reflex, an instinct clearly born from past experience. Hua Cheng was intimately familiar with the strategy. He leaned down to get a good look at the kid. Unbound hair covered big intelligent eyes. He was probably adorable underneath all of the muck that came from living on the streets. Hua Cheng assumed if the boy had a good home, he wouldn’t be starving enough to steal old fruit. “Well?” Hua Cheng prompted. “What are you waiting for?” The child tilted his head and gave Hua Cheng a strangely genuine smile. Like it was all he could think to do. It contrasted with the scared glint in his eyes and the white-knuckled clench of his hand. The boy carefully unfurled his fist to offer the fruit to Hua Cheng, putting on a good act of hiding how much he desperately didn’t want to let it go. “Here,” the child’s voice was hoarse when he finally responded. “Sorry.”
pov hua cheng, canon divergence, tian guan ci fu fusion, hua cheng/xie lian, crossover, wei wuxian isn't adopted by the jiangs, fluff, hurt/comfort, angst with a happy ending, homelessness, food insecurity, orphan wei wuxian, hua cheng, xie lian, tgcf, hua cheng & xie lian adopt wei wuxian
~*~
(Please REBLOG as a signal boost for this hard-working author if you like – or think others might like – this story.)
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alonetimelover · 7 months
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Hi, can I request Heavy Angst that ends in Fluff with 5 word prompt 22 please
"Find someone else to annoy."
pairing: Harry Styles x physicist!reader
summary: Writing a work that would grand you the professor title was harder than YN anticipated. Just like the affect that her antics had on people that she loved, especially Harry. And when the enough was enough some words weren't supposed to be said.
word count: ~1,7k
warnings: angst ending with fluff, workaholism, swearing
a/n: First blurb of the 'blurb weekend'! I am so excited for you to read it and I hope you'll enjoy it. Thank you so so much for requesting!
masterlist taglist blurb weekend prompts
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Becoming a professor was harder than one would think. YN laughed at her younger self for believing all the lies that University fed her. Research, nights without a minute of sleep, books whose pages were in four digit numbers and stress. Stress that didn’t only affect her but Harry as well. 
He was on a break. The tour ended, vacation in Italy was almost forgotten and the cosiness and warmness of his home was what he needed. It was the thing that he had most longed for during weeks abroad. But the tension inside the house was thick. And Harry hated it. He was used to YN diving into her studies and not coming downstairs for dinner. He was used to reminding her to take her vitamins, bring her glasses of water or a hot cup of tea. He was used to rather more silent days in the house whenever she was writing a paper, an article. He understood it and was as helpful as he thought he could be. Having in mind all those things, Harry was helpless when YN locked herself in her studies for hours, refusing to open the door or even acknowledge his presence. 
When Harry heard the opening of the doors from downstairs, he let out the breath he didn’t know he was holding. He reached for the remote to take the volume down a little bit. 
“Oh, don’t bother now,” YN said absentmindedly, while entering the open space, leading from upstairs through the living room and straight to the kitchen. 
“What do you mean?” Harry asked, scrunching his eyebrows. 
She heaved a sigh, closing her eyes for a moment, trying to calm down. But it was all too much. The scented candles that she usually loved, burning on the coffee table were making her dizzy. The lights that were hanging from the cornice that she referred to as ‘anxiety slayers’, were too bright now. The carpeted floor, fuzzy and delicate, was making her feet feel like drowning in sand - she hated sand. And to cover it all, the noise from the TV was blowing apart her eardrums. It was all too much.
“What do I mean?” She scoffed, pinching the bridge of her nose. “What do I mean? I don’t know. What could I possibly mean, huh? Let’s think.” 
Harry hated her tone of voice. It was nothing like the normal one. Not the one reserved for him, sweet and full of love. Instead, it was full of hate, annoyance and superiority. 
“Okay, you’re mad about something. Let’s talk about it, lovie.”
Harry patted the place on the couch right next to him, sending YN his warmest smile. It always worked, and not because he was manipulative but because YN always found help and a safe place within Harry. 
“Let’s talk about it!” She mocked, throwing her hands up and down to exaggerate. “I don’t want to talk. I want some peace and quiet. Please, I need space to finish the last pages of my work and I don’t have time for this. Please.” 
It was harsh. And it hurt, but Harry had been nothing but patient and understanding. Had been. All of this started to affect him more than he thought he had let it. Even his patience was wearing off. 
“YN,” Harry sighed, standing up. “I’m sorry about the TV, okay? I’m sorry. I could’ve listened to it on a lower volume. But it’s not only about it. I know you.” 
He really tried to negotiate his way through her right to the centre of it all - her workaholism. Once she got a job to do, it was all she thought, talked and dreamed about from the moment she knew about it to the moment she finished it. And when there was no job, sooner rather than later she was becoming distant and drifting away to just find something else, something new to get into. With that being said, she had never jeopardised her relationships. She never forgot about any important dates, she was included in all birthdays, parties, milestones. She was there for Harry whenever he needed her. It was one of the many things he really admired in her, the one that truly made him amazed by YN. But now, she was forgetting herself. 
“Yeah, sure. I really don’t have time for this, Harry.” 
And with that she moved on to the kitchen. She needed sugar, feeling her head spin from how low her energy levels were. It was no surprise, she was without breakfast and near to no fluids. 
Harry’s blood pressure was very high. He dug his nails into his palms and moved after YN. He had had enough. He could take as much. 
“I suggest you make some time, YN,” he emphasised her name to really show her he meant it. “This has been going on for too long. You don’t eat, you don’t sleep, you don’t go out of that fuckin’ office unless it’s the bathroom or you feel you’re near passing out from exhaustion. It’s -”
“Oh, fuck off! I’m working! I’m trying to achieve something here and your talk and pretences are making my skin crawl. Just- just find someone else to annoy and leave me alone.” 
YN slammed the fridge’s door, clashing the bottles inside it. Taking the premade (by Harry) iced coffee with herself, she passed Harry with a thought to go back to writing. Her walk was quickly stalled by Harry’s firm but gentle grab of her arm. 
“Caring about you is now called annoying?” He asked, voice a little louder than usually. 
“Get off, Harry,” she gritted through her teeth.
“I won’t. I won’t let you overwork yourself to the point of taking you to the hospital. You want to do too much in too little time.”
YN pursed her lips in anger and broke away from Harry’s grip, spilling some of the coffee on her sweatpants and floor. She cursed. The tipping point found her. 
“There is nothing like ‘too little time’. There is no time, Harry! The paper should be done by the end of the month. And it’s the 21st! It’s just twelve days. And then there’s Professor Smith breathing down my neck and saying that he wants to read the full version before the deadline. Then there’s Madeline and her struggle to find a job. And Manny needing those vet visits so frequently.” She hyperventilated, trying to catch breath. Tears were daring to come down from her glossy eyes. 
“Oh, baby. Take it easy.” 
“I can’t take it easy, okay? I can’t! I can’t lay on the couch and do nothing, I can’t take a bath. I can’t go on a walk. I can’t enjoy dinner. I can’t watch TV. I need- I have to work. I have to finish it.”
Harry’s heart was breaking. The look on YN’s face was making him want to cry. He forgot all the things that bothered him. He ignored all the not so nice words YN said in anger. Now was the moment that she needed him the most. 
“Come here,” he whispered, strolling towards her with open arms. 
“Harry, what are you doing?”
But he didn’t answer. He just embraced her body with his and squeezed lovingly. YN, although confused at first, hugged Harry back immediately melting into him. She really couldn’t see how much destruction she had put herself through. How much pain and stress was sitting upon her shoulders to deal with in the silence of the closed door office. Now, when her body was fitting Harry’s perfectly she remembered that she wasn’t alone. That she didn’t have to deal with it all by herself. 
Perhaps Harry didn’t know much about physics, especially quantum mechanics, singularity and black holes. But he was there to listen. He was there to propose another way to bite the bullet, to expand her point of view. He could listen to her quoting Hawking and Cox, fangirling over her favourite scientists wanting to be a part of her thesis all the time. There was nothing better than seeing her feeling fulfilled and content. 
“I love you so much, I can’t let you destroy yourself right in front of my eyes.” 
He kissed her head, squeezing her body even closer to his. 
“I’m so sorry,” YN whispered through sobs. 
She felt awful. It was the first fight where she lost control and she hoped it was the last, because she hated each and every moment of it. She wouldn’t be able to let herself forget how uncalled for and hurtful she was towards Harry. 
“I am so sorry, Harry.”
“Shhh. It’s okay. We’ll talk about it tomorrow. Now, we’re taking a bath. No vetoes. And then I am making dinner for you while you’re sitting here at the counter looking pretty like always. After that we’re watching the British Bake-Off and going to sleep. You need at least 8 hours of sleep, baby. You don’t have that even if I add in all the hours from the whole week,” Harry listed all the activities he knew YN enjoyed whenever she was stressed. 
“How do you know I didn’t sleep through the night?” She asked, looking up at him. 
Harry caressed her cheek delicately and pecked her lips. 
“I can’t sleep when you’re not next to me. I got so used to your body being so close to mine I just wake up whenever you’re getting up. Then there was the light from the office creeping through the gap between the floor and the door. You fell asleep in my arms and an hour later were sitting behind the desk writing. I noticed, baby.”
“Oh, God. I am so sorry. I didn’t realise I was waking you up, love. I - I don’t even have an excuse.”
“You don’t need one. It’s okay.” He kissed her lips once again. “Let me take care of you, yeah? I’m gonna go run the bath and you choose some pyjamas for us both.” 
YN nodded her head, her small smile was not reaching her eyes. 
“Don’t overthink the situation. I’m being truthful with you, and promising that we’ll talk about what happened today tomorrow. Now, you need some relaxation to take your mind out of the office. Just be here with me, okay?”
“Okay.”
Harry wiped her tears away and kissed the way they had been falling down. Now, YN’s smile was beaming from her eyes as well as her upturned lips. 
“You really are the best thing that happened in my life.” 
Harry laughed, taking her hand in his and directing her upstairs. 
“Well, I would hope so. After all, you agreed to marry me.”
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