#sort of pfff

[twilighttheater]

*unleashes the worms*

Red was literally sitting minding his own business when a mess of Wurmples start passing by. Followed by one of Serena's friends seemingly trying to document this strange phenomena, mumbling about it being something like an outbreak from Hisui.

He's going to keep minding his own business, Wally can have fun with that though.

[faesandfaunas]

Xerxes stepped out for awhile, and didn’t really state why beyond that he was working on a surprise. Zacian was…preoccupied with other matters, matters that Diancie was bugging him about, and Magearna was in the middle of her rhythm games. So the only fae royal who was aware and curious about what was going on, was Chande. Who sat outside of Xerneas’ room in the manor, coloring quietly and waiting with curiosity.

When Xerxes did finally open the door awhile later, he didn’t look the same way he had when he’d gone in earlier. Slight tweaks to his human guise, though she noticed the longer hair tied up into a ponytail first off.

“Oh-- Chande, don’t tell me you waited here all that time!”

She nodded, still looking up at him with a silent question written on her face.

“Ah... well, I don’t want to get into every little detail... but when I first returned to this world after being gone for so long, my human disguise was... a bit rushed.” He sighed lightly, “I threw it together in a hurry, so I could meet with your other father again and not waste any time.”

He idly plays with one of the newly made curls on the ends of his hair before he explains further. “I decided to take my time more this time around, and make a guise that... somewhat resembles the one I had ages ago. Though hopefully better than before.”

The last time his hair was this long, he was awkward and emotional as most teenagers were. His embarrassing period of time as the acting King of the Fae, with the attitude of a young prince. He wanted to hope that he appeared much more mature now compared to then, at least. 

Chande stood up and pointed at his face in particular, and he realized she was pointing out his eyes. Changed from his signature blue, they weren’t the same deep red as Yveltal’s, but still a shimmering brighter red. 

“Yes that part was intentional too,” he laughed while going to lift her up and hold her. “That would be a much longer story I’m afraid Chande, but in any case... I was planning on showing this new form to your other father soon, what do you think? Think he’ll like it?”

She nodded enthusiastically, a smile gracing her face with a small giggle.

“I think so too,” he chimes. “But let’s keep this a secret between us for now, alright?”

“Secret?” She questions. “You have to go back?”

“Just for now,” he explains. “Trust me I’m not a fan of it either. I would like to stay this way, but... I think it’ll be more fun next month, as it’ll be his birthday and our anniversary.”

“Okaaay.” She sighs, pouting as in a moment, Xerxes returns to the form he’d been keeping up ever since the aftermath of Team Flare.

“Already seems old, doesn’t it? Not to worry, this form won’t linger on for too much longer.”

[saltpepperbeard]

oh, don’t mind me, just thinking about-

-how stede tends to sleep on his back, which i’m pretty sure is just the biggest open invitation for ed to sleep cuddled up on his chest, snuggled impossibly close

[wawamouse]

[hamadacare-xoxo]

                    “It’s February! ♡♡♡ You guys, it’s Valentine’s day!”

                    It’s not right? But excitement gets the best of him :’)

[kino-rogers]

not even been in the fandom for a day but i already made an oc and whoops, i accidentally made her an e-girl and Murdoc's gf, help pfff

[echidnana]

*watches tv all day* wow why do we feel like shit

[boopshoops]

I've... never really ever been to somethin' as fancy as this before. Oh? You want to dance? ...Pfff, sure. Why not?

Set to home screen: Aight, let's get going.

Home Transition 1: You should've seen how excited Neige was to see Vil here too. But the more I hear about Vil... really makes me wish Neige would take the hint. Don't get me wrong, Neige is sweet as candy, I know, but it's obvious Vil needs some space.

Home Transition 2: I feel like if I make one wrong step, people are gonna look at me like I'm crazy or something. I'm not used to all this etiquette. Welp, not like that's anything new anyway. Let's go have some fun.

Home Transition 3: Yuu's been... huh? Haaa, I swear to Sevens, one moment I think she's missing forever and at the next she's doing whatever the fuck she wants. Just get that cat-thing to distract her for a bit, I'll be over soon enough.

Home Transition 4: If I see one more pinch of glitter getting anywhere near my face, it's on sight. Seriously, I'm gonna be finding this shit everywhere for the rest of my life.

Home, after login: The more time I spent trying to get this whole outfit sorted out, the more I felt conflicted about RSA being invited to this party... but now that I'm here, it's not so bad.

Tap Home 1: I kept having to try on all these uncomfortable dresses before we FINALLY landed on something that suited me. Pants are so much more comfortable anyway. "Who's we?" Ah. Yuu and Neige helped me out a bit.

Tap Home 2: ...Pfff, I've watched Chenya sneak up on like, five different people now. It gets funnier every time. What a dork. That short red head looks so mad-

Tap Home 3: I...uh... think I might've saw someone crying when I came in. Should I... tell someone? I feel bad just leaving 'em be.

Tap Home 4: Hey, look, if you think you're struggling with dancing along, you can come stand on my feet. I know how to lead with this kinda thing... I mean, if you wanna. Not that you're doing bad, I- fuck. You know what I mean.

Tap Home 5: ...You've been hiding under my cape for a good while now. I know it's all shiny and big and whatnot. But do you need something? I'm sure there are other places you could go. Oh? Nah. You're not botherin' me. I just thought you might be getting bored.

Groovification: Hahaha! You shoulda seen their faces when I finally started dancing. Let's out-prince these princes....... man that sounded cheesy. Pfff-

Tap Home Groovy: Whew... I think I'm gonna take a break outside for a bit. Maybe explore NRC campus while I have the chance. Crowley always gets on my case when I sneak in here with the cat boy.

Home Transition Groovy: Ya know, I'd be down to do something like this again. Maybe with more casual clothes, but still. I liked seeing all the shocked looks on peoples faces when they see I actually know how to work this kinda look.

Art tags!!! 🫂💕

@thehollowwriter @skriblee-ksk @distant-velleity @justm3di0cr3 @kitwasnothere

@lowcallyfruity @techno-danger @scint1llat3 @cecilebutcher

The lovely fan event is by @starry-night-rose !!! 💕

[dark-night-hero]

Imagine as you and Jing Yuan stood across each other, weapon in hand. Despite the blood both on your body and faces there was some sort of smiles on your faces. One was a smile of agony and the other was a genuine smile. At that very moment, it felt like anything, anyone besides the two of you have disappeared. Like it was just the two of you in this chaotic field.

"Seriously... how did we come into this?" "Heh, that's a very nice question you have in there." You chuckle, hands playing with your weapon before dropping it. "You-..." "How about we dance?" "Are you crazy-" "Come on now, Love." He hates it when you call them like that, he hates the way it still gives him a lingering feeling on their stomach. "For old times sake?"

Imagine how much he hates this very fucking moment and yet dropping his weapon, he look a deep breath before replying. "For old times sake." It was stranger, how such words could hold so many unsaid feelings, so many memories, so much love.

"You've gotten good at dancing." "I can't have you always taking the lead, can I?" He replied. "Really? Not because you have practice with someone else?" "I only dance with you." "Pfff you're still cute as ever, Love." "Don't call me that." "But you like it when you call me that. See? Your ears are red." "No, it isn't." "Come on don't be silly, it's obviously red!" He hates it, he hates it how you turn your back at them, at him and now act like nothing happens. He hates how much he missed you in his arms.

"This is the last spin." "Such pity how all of this would come to an end." You chuckle as you let him spin only to felt his hold on your hand tighten and the way he somehow felt stiff looking down at his other hand. "You're... bleeding." "Yes, quite for some time now." You chuckle and only then did he notice how much your lips were trembling and how pale looking you were right now. "Then-!" "Come to think of it... how was snowmoon?" Who? Oh right.

"Why aren't you answering? I left my cub with you. But now that I think of it, you've been away for too long. We've been away for too long." "You need to get fix-" "The blade that struck me was lased with poison. Let me lean on you for a moment. I'm quite tired now." "Have you forgotten we're currently enemies-?!" He stopped. He stopped talking as he felt you slowly cooling down in his arms. The way you cling into him. He stopped.

"Jing Yuan... Yuan... My love, my light" Unconsciously, he hold into you. He hold on you tight and he hates it. He hates the way he cling into you, silently wishing and hoping this isn't it. "For old times sake... Can I hear you say it again?" He hates it. He hates it how you could easily take advantage of him by simply uttering those words. "I hate that I love you even after all the shit that you put me-us through. Do you know that?" Then he heard you chuckle. "I'm... sorry." He can feel your hold slowly loosening. "That was the only way... I could... Think off..."

Imagine the way he hates it. He have already seen you turning your back at him and this time, you've leaving him again somewhere far away. "Hey.." "Hmm?" "You're leaving me again." "Hehe... Jing... Yuan..." "... what?" "Thank.. you.."

For old times sake? For old times sake. For the love that once was there, and is still there but we could mo longer hold on into. So just this once, I'll do it for you. Just this once, for the love that was there and would soon be forgotten.

[ⓒdark-night-hero] 2023°

[signedmio]

Hi 👋

I saw your requests were open again! If you're up for it, would you do a fluff oneshot for Husk x reader?

Iike maybe they're hosting a ball and the Hazbin crew has to get all dressed up and the reader dances with Husk.

Kinda got inspo from the ballroom scene from Beauty and the beast.

If not, it's totally cool and I look forward to what you put out next! 😊

the timing is funny considering i’m doing the musical for beauty and the beast rn haha anyway this is so cute, and husk is my boo, so ofc i’ll do this for you!!

this gives off the vibes of one of my hazbin hotel oc’s so bad, so i’m sorry if the reader is a little more, detailed(?) than most of my previous works😭

i had so many inspo pics for each characters fits, so i put links to pics on the side for some of them, hope that it’s not too jarring haha

“I’m not too good at this…”

Husk x Reader

Warnings: Fem!Reader (i’m so sorry to my male or other identifying readers😭), Swearing, S1 Finale Spoilers, Chaggie (Charlie x Vaggie), Pentious x Cherri (idfk their ship name), platonic Rosie and Alastor

You checked your appearance in the mirror attached to your vanity one last time, you fluffed out your hair, which Charlie had been so generous to curl for you, and fixed up the edges of your lip gloss.

Ever since the hotel had been rebuilt, a lot more traction came along with it, and Charlie and Alastor insisted on hosting an ‘opening ball’ sort of thing for the reopening for the new hotel.

You dusted off your glittery, rose gold dress one last time (which for reference, looked like this), admiring the gems placed in your hair one last time, before hurrying out of your room, and down into the lobby, which was redecorated for this special occasion.

You see Charlie and immediately go to hug her, even though you got ready with her, as well as Vaggie, this is the first time you really got to soak in her appearance. Her hair was up in a French braid, it suited her oddly well, as for the dress? Her dress was very, well, her — it was princess-y, had some lace, but was a bright pink (which looked similar to this)

“Hey girl!” you said excitedly, as you pulled her to you, you could feel her smile softly in the crook of your neck, you pull back and grin at her, your hands rest on the sides of her arms briefly as she grins back at you, “You look awesome!” You said, she really did, she was very naturally pretty, there wasn’t an ounce of makeup on her face other than a few subtle coats of mascara, which you only noticed due to the lack of distance between you both. “Me? Pfff, stop. Look at you!” She says, giving a bashful giggle, more people begin to fill in, and music starts blaring, you both turn over to see Cherri over at the DJ booth — the guy Charlie had paid had gotten a bit too…high before the gig, so Cherri was a last minute decision.

“I should go, there’s a lot of, important people here I need to talk to, we need to catch up though!” Charlie said with a small chuckle, “Sure thing!” You reply before you begin walking around to find your next victim who’s going to listen to you talk their ear off until you get bored.

As you walk, you see a lot of folks that you wouldn’t expect to see, Rosie and Alastor are talking, Mimzy’s banging it out on the dance floor, and even Velvette decided to show up (the other two Vee’s weren’t invited for…clear reasons).

You see that Cherri took a break from DJing, as Alastor used some of his magic from his new and improved cane to have it do it on its own, after Adam snapped the last one in half.

Cherri’s chatting with Angel and Pentious, who which you never thought would come down for this after being redeemed, and excitedly you go up to them.

“Pen, Angel, Cherri!” You shout out as you approach them, “Hello, my friend, I haven’t ssseen you ssssince the battle! Quite the time, hehe!” Pentious said, giving you a side hug, which was a lot more awkward than you both would’ve liked.

“Heya, bitch!” Cherri said, nudging ya softly, as Angel gives you a small nod of acknowledgement.

“So, Pentious, how are things up in Heaven?” You asked curiously, a bit louder than you would’ve like, having to yell over the blaring music.

“Sssssplendid! I get back rubs every day!” He exclaimed. Odd. But that’s Sir Pentious for you.

Cherri and Pentious go off to have their own conversation, not wanting to third wheel, you more so turn your attention to Angel, who is looking quite bad ass. “Loving the look, Ange!”

He smirks, “You’re rocking your fit too, toots.” he says back, giving you a toothy grin. He had a baby pink blazer on, with a matching crop top underneath that pronounced his fluff, with matching pants and black heeled boots (like this.)

“You seen Husk anywhere?” He asked, glancing around the darkly-lit lobby for the grumpy cat. “Actually, now that I think about it, no, I don’t think I have. Why?” You said, beginning to go back into your memory to remember if you saw him last.

“Jus’ cuz, I know how you look at eachother, it’d be like a little romantic moment. Swaying on the dance floor, holding eachother, eh?” Angel said with a soft, playful grin, nudging your arm.

“I have no idea what you’re talking about.” You say, a soft grin playing on your lips, yes, you do know what he’s talking about, a little too well.

“Sureeee…” He says, a knowing smile on his face, his head turns slightly. “There ‘e is.” He points to the far end of the room.

Husk is there, his shooing Niffty off as Vaggie goes to take her, a bottle in his hands.

“Go get ‘em, tiger!” Angel says, pushing you over.

“Hey.” You smile, Husk looks at you, a small smile tugging at his lips. “Hey, whatcha up to?”

“Not much, just trying to make a point to talk to everyone.” You say, chuckling softly.

His smile remains, before looking away, and then back at you, a…discombobulated look on his face. “Ey, I’m not too great this, ain’t done this shit since I was alive.” He starts, chuckling softly, “But, er…” He holds out his paw to you, a loving, affection smile on his face that tugs at your heartstrings, “Will you, have a dance with me?”

You grin widely, before taking his paw, “Yeah.. I will.”

As you both approach the dance floor, the music begins to slow down, as people take their partners in their arms and hold them close, cherishing a romantic moment.

Husk pulls you in by the waist with one paw, the other hand holding your own, as you both begin to sway.

You look around, too flustered to look at Husk, you smile at the sight of all the lovely pairs.

Cherri’s with Pentious, as he’s tripping over her as she chuckles softly in his embrace, Rosie and Al are sharing a lovely moment as friends, talking amongst themselves, and Vaggie and Charlie are holding eachother close, closing the gap to share an intimate kiss.

Your eyes skim over Husk, it was the first real time you’d seen him in, actual clothes…

He wore black trousers, with a fitted white buttoned shirt, with a red tie and suspenders.

Hesitation was written all over Husks face, you’d never seen him in such a state, he sighed before speaking, “Look, I’ve never been into all this,” he said, gesturing to the scenery before you both. “But quite frankly, my heart beats for you, and I’d really like to work something out for us.” He stated, a soft and… nervous(?) smile tugged at the ends of his lips.

“I’d… really like that.”

Before you both know it, the ball ends, and Husk takes you up to your room, you’re both slightly tipsy, giggling at simply the presence of eachother, Husk stops at your door.

He looks at you before pecking your forehead, smiling proudly to both himself, and you, “Sweet dreams, doll, I’ll see you in the morning.”

[ckret2]

Chapter 29 of human Bill Cipher will find a way out of being the Pines' prisoner or so help him, featuring:

Summerween!!!!

and also:

Henchmaniacs.

Kryptos doesn't actually talk like that, it's just how he's currently feeling.

####

January 1, 1982

"You're late," Bill said, a bit reproachfully.

Ford gave him a surprised look. "Did we have an appointment?" He didn't remember one. He was pretty sure he'd remember an appointment with his muse, even if he'd made it in a dream.

"Pfff, appointments are for people without an eternity of time! No, I'm just used to you dreaming by midnight. It's weird for you to stay up past two when you aren't working on a project."

"I suppose it is." Ford was flattered Bill was paying close enough attention to notice his sleep habits. "I thought I'd stay up late to bring in the new year."

"The what?"

"The... new year?" What wasn't registering. How do you explain New Year's to an alien/angelic messenger? "It's when—"

"Oh, oh right." Bill waved off the rest of Ford's explanation. Several calendars and clocks spiraled in the air like a Ferris wheel in front of Bill, "Between trying to figure out whether you meant it was 0 Pop or Tishrei 1, I completely forgot about Chaos 1. You guys have too many calendars!"

And he'd skipped over January entirely. Wryly, Ford said, "The next time somebody asks for my input, I'll let them know you want us to use a few less."

Bill laughed. "Smart aleck." The calendars and clocks vanished. "And all you did to celebrate was stay up a little later than usual? No parties? Okay, I know you don't know anyone throwing a party—but you didn't even celebrate at a bar?" Bill ruffled his hair. "All work and no play makes Ford a dull boy!"

Ford endured the ruffling. He wasn't quite sure whether Bill was scolding him for staying up celebrating, or for not celebrating enough. "I... suppose I could celebrate in here?"

"What do you want, a fireworks show?" In the distance in Ford's mindscape, a single large firework exploded. It shifted colors, purple to yellow to green to red, before fading. "I don't think so! If you wanted fireworks, you should've gone to the show on the lake. I've got some prophecies to pass on, and I'd rather get to them this REM cycle."

By "prophecies" he probably meant a random assortment of warnings about Ford's upcoming week, which historically had varied in severity from "don't visit the lake Tuesday evening or you'll get caught in a snowstorm and die of hypothermia" to "you'd better get groceries in the morning before they sell out of your toothpaste brand." And Ford was always grateful for such messages—but now he wished he could see what sort of fantastical color-changing dream fireworks show his muse could put on. "I take it it's not a new year on your calendar."

"I don't keep track of that stuff. When you're as ancient as me, celebrating the new year is like celebrating a new hour."

Bill had so easily brushed off the implicit invitation to discuss "his" calendar. Ford wasn't surprised. Over the years of sporadic meetings with his muse, Ford had noted that Bill never shared information about where he'd come from or how he filled his time when he wasn't bestowing his wisdom—as if Bill was a thing that simply is, a muse that offered inspiration because it was made to inspire, with no history or identity outside of its role in service to humanity. He always dodged the questions gracefully.

But he never seemed bothered that Ford had asked. In fact, as long as Ford didn't pry into Bill's history and kept his inquiries comfortably shallow, Bill always seemed happy to receive personal questions. Ford had found that even when Bill talked like he was in a hurry, it was very easy to get him off track (and consequently extend his visit to two or three more dreams) by asking him about himself.

Ford wondered why that was. Was it a part of his duty—was he compelled to answer his chosen students' questions, to enlighten them on the mysteries of the universe, to help tug back the curtain of reality to reveal wonders unknown—wonders that included Bill himself? Or perhaps Bill was used to students seeing him as a source of knowledge without seeing him. Perhaps he was grateful that somebody was interested in him enough to ask.

Whatever the case—Bill clearly liked being asked about himself, and Ford liked getting his muse to stick around a little longer than planned. So rather than letting Bill get on to the prophecies he'd promised, Ford asked, "Do you ever... participate in any human holidays? After all, you've offered so much to humanity. I'm sure any of your prior protégés would have been honored to invite you as a guest to our celebrations. I would be honored." And Ford wouldn't mind having friendly company on the holidays that he'd gotten in the habit of ignoring until they shrank to nothing but a square on a calendar.

"Ha, I know you would! But no, not really," Bill said. "Don't get me wrong, it's not that I look down on your cute little local festivals. They just don't have any relevance to me! A celebration of a bountiful harvest, a prayer to get through the winter, the veneration of a local long-dead celebrity... I come from a timeless realm of divinity, sublimity, color and light! Most of your planet's holidays are about issues that don't matter to me."

"Ah. I see," Ford said. "Are there any human holidays you care about?"

Bill mulled over the question. "Maybe one or two."

####

June 22, 2013

Bill thundered down the stairs, charged into the kitchen, and announced to the Pines, "If I don't get to wear a Summerween costume I will literally die."

Without looking up from the morning paper, Ford said, "Then die."

####

It took ten minutes for Bill to bargain Ford up from "death" to permission to wear a costume—provided that it was free; that Bill agree to stay inside for the holiday without complaint (WITHOUT COMPLAINT) no matter what fun activities he heard happening outside; that Ford didn't have to do anything to help Bill obtain said costume; and that Bill take a dang shower.

Bill groaned. "Another shower already?"

"You wouldn't need so many if you didn't insist on running around in an acrylic sweater and polyester leggings in summer."

Bill knew that. That was one of the reasons he did it. It was useful for the humans to think the showers were their idea.

Bill agreed to all terms, and even volunteered to get the dang shower over with now so they could both get on with the rest of their days.

He'd never admit it, but Bill had been wanting a shower. Not for the hygiene, but for the privacy. This was the first time he'd had a door between himself and the Pines since he'd broken the shack's unicorn hair barrier.

Time to call in reinforcements.

Bill covered the mirrors, turned on the shower, undressed, stuck his head under the shower stream so that if anyone barged in on him he could use his wet hair as proof he'd been showering, and squinted through the wooden door to confirm there weren't any humans lurking nearby. Coast was clear—but wow, it hurt to bend his eye that way. He rubbed at it irritably as he set up his ring of candles again, and wasn't surprised when his fingertips came away bloody. He thought it hurt more than it had last time. He wondered how many more times he could glance into higher dimensions before this body's eyeballs gave out on him. Hopefully he wouldn't need them that long.

He drew Kryptos on the floor, lit the candles, and started muttering the chant to summon him. "Rhombus sapphirinus. Fraternitas, caritas..."

The steamy air went chill, the water pattering in the tub grew muffled, the whole world slowed and paused. For weeks, Bill's every attempt to break into the mindscape had been a futile strain; but now, instead, the mindscape surged up and swallowed him into its gray twilight, like evening embracing the land on the heels of sunlight's departure. Bill knew he wasn't awake anymore. It was working.

A force outside of Bill borrowed his throat to speak the last of the ritual—it worked!—and before his eyes, a diamond window opened into the Nightmare Realm.

####

Standing at the edge of one of the Quadrangle of Qonfusion's many perpendicular floors, arms crossed, scowling deeply, Pyronica glared at a neon-acidic cotton candy nebula light years away. "Guys," she said, "it's doing the thing again."

8 Ball, Keyhole, and Zanthar glanced away from their video game toward the nebula. Amorphous Shape peeled a few squares off a column to peer at it with Hectorgon.

"Look at this." Pyronica clapped her hands.

In the nebula, crackles of lightning-like bolts of light millions of miles long shot through the starry clouds. A noise like thunder boomed from it, rattling the Quadrangle. An ugly statue fell off a column-shaped pedestal and landed on a wall.

She clapped twice more—each time, eliciting more lightning—then gestured emphatically at the nebula. "How am I doing that!"

"Can't be you controlling it," Amorphous Shape said. "That nebula's over a dozen light years away. That light had to have happened years ago, we're just seeing it now."

Already turned back to his video game and determinedly trying to murder Keyhole, 8 Ball said, "Maybe the nebula's controlling you."

Pryonica said flatly, "You think a bunch of stars is making me clap."

"Eh. Like astrology or something."

Hectorgon said, "Could be a time loop thing."

"Could be," Amorphous Shape said thoughtfully.

Pyronica threw up her hands, which made the distant nebula's colors shift slightly. "If it's not weird butterfly effects or faster-than-light light, it's time loops. I hate this place. All it'd take is a hard sneeze to knock the whole dimension down."

She'd been saying things to such effect for the past few months. Consequently, nobody really paid much attention to the latest round of griping about the Nightmare Realm's poor maintenance, until she said, "I'm bailing on the Quadrangle. Soon as I can find a decent rock in some other dimension. Who else is coming?"

8 Ball glanced down at Pyronica from the floor with their gaming setup. "Hold on, are you serious?" He quickly had to look away as Zanthar took advantage of the distraction to attack.

"Yeah, I'm serious. I don't wanna break up the gang, but I'm sick of this dump."

Huddled on a nearby wall like an unemployed gargoyle, Paci-Fire said solemnly, "I will stay, Mother. The Quadrangle of Qonfusion is the only home I have ever known."

"Probably one of my worst life decisions," Pyronica muttered. "The Quadrangle isn't our home, it was Bill's. We're just... just..."

Ducking in from between two columns that seemed to lead to a purple-shadowed nighttime meadow, Teeth said, "Eternal couch-surfers."

"Ha! Yeah, that. Hey, where you been the past week?"

"Took a wrong turn to the bathroom. I ended up in that pocket dimension Bill grounded the electrical wiring into."

"Again?"

"I never know how many times to cross that one infinitely looping hallway!"

Pyronica gestured at Teeth. "See, this place is a complete mess. We'd be better off moving to any other dimension. And you'd like living in a real dimension if you gave it a shot, Paci!"

"No." Paci-Fire crossed his arms. "I do not want to."

"At least think about it. Wouldn't you like to live somewhere that has moons? Instead of going on a road trip to another dimension every time you want to drive a civilization to extinction?"

Keyhole muttered, "I hate those stupid road trips. They're always a zillion light years long and we never do anything fun."

"Hey!" Pyronica pointed at Keyhole. "Watch it! My kid's a lunarcide prodigy, he gets to go on as many moon-destroying trips as he wants!"

Keyhole cringed. "Right, right, sorry." 8 Ball muttered something disparaging about Keyhole's intellect, right before blowing him up for the second time.

Paci-Fire asked, "And say we were to move to a dimension with more moons. What would we do when the authorities follow us home after another successful slaughter?" A side-effect of growing up in the Henchmaniacs was that Paci-Fire regarded The Authorities as a nebulous bogeyman that was personally out to get him and all his family and friends. "Are we to lock the door and cower from them like—like cowards? Or constantly flee from one dimension to the next? No, Mother. I do not wish to live like a pariah in the dark corners of—" his lower mouth sneered around his pacifier, "civilized dimensions. There is nowhere safer for us than the Nightmare Realm."

"Sweetie, you don't have to be afraid of the authorities in other dimensions—"

"Mother! I know no fear." Paci-Fire's eyes flared a bright, dangerous red.

Pyronica playfully tugged one of his horn. "We can find a dimension as primitive as 46'\ without any interstellar cops. Like—which dimension were you from, Teeth, it doesn't even have any organized space authorities, does it?"

"Oh, yeah, pretty much every world in my galaxy was still ground bound when Bill recruited me." Teeth stepped on a column, slid off, and shuffled around it, trying to remember which side doubled as a walkway to the kitchen. "I don't really mind staying here, though. I mean yeah, we don't have a roof, or consistent walls, and the wiring's a mess. But the rent's really reasonable for a place this size in this part of the Nightmare Realm."

Hectorgon processed that. "Hold on." He lay on a wall and slid up it until he was mouth level with Teeth. "You've been paying rent?"

Teeth paused mid-column. "Wh—yeah? What's that supposed to mean?"

Pyronica bit her lip to keep from laughing, elbowed Paci-Fire, and hissed, "I thought Bill was joking about charging Teeth rent!"

Paci-Fire murmured, "Bill Cipher was always a most droll prankster."

"Who are you paying it to?" Hectorgon asked.

"I mean—I was paying it to Bill. But I dunno who took that over, so I guess, kinda... no one?"

With a mildly offended tone, Hectorgon lied, "You were supposed to give it to me now."

"Oh." Teeth shifted awkwardly. "Uh... sorry, Hect, no one told me. I don't think I've got enough on hand to cover all the..."

"It's fine, everything's been topsy-turvy since... the last few months. Just give me what you have and pay back the rest as soon as you can, okay?"

"Sure, sure, no problem. Thanks, man."

Pyronica bit her lip to keep from laughing. "All right, so Teeth is stupid enough to stay here."

"Hey!"

"But I don't see why the rest of us should be." She looked up at the trio playing games below her, then tried to remember which stupid paradox staircase led to that level. She hesitantly headed up one that looked promising. "Moving out would be worth it just to be somewhere with consistent physics!"

"I am contented with the inconsistent physics," Paci-Fire said.

"It took you fifty years longer than most kids to learn how to walk," Pyronica said. "I know you're my little genius! It's this dimension that's holding you down!" 

"Boo," Paci-Fire said sulkily.

"Paci, you don't even like the Quadrangle. Nobody does."

Amorphous Shape let out a chorus of sharp gasps. They slid around a corner and reappeared sliding from the underside of the staircase to the top, laying zigzag atop the steps to glare at Pyronica. "Excuse us."

"I'll step on you, Morph," Pyronica threatened. Amorphous Shape grudgingly slid over for her to pass. "Fine, Bill's stupid 2D groupies like the Quadrangle. But the rest of us don't."

"What's wrong with it?" Morph demanded.

"What's—?!" Pyronica gestured upward at the floor below them. "You don't see the problem with this?!"

"It's supposed to be like that. It's a shortcut." 

"It's a—!" Pyronica covered her face and suppressed a scream. "It's giving me vertigo!"

"It doesn't give us vertigo," Morph said defensively. They partially peeled off the steps to look at Hectorgon. "Does it give you vertigo?"

"No, I'm fine."

"What about you, Kryptos?"

There was no answer.

"Krypt?" Morph reluctantly peeled off the stairs entirely and hovered in the air to try to get a better view.

"He probably got sucked into The Void," Keyhole muttered, "it was vibrating this morning."

8 Ball sighed. "Why do we even have that Void?"

"Man, I dunno."

Pyronica ascended to the bottom of the stairs, sat on the arm of the gamers' couch, and said, "The point is—none of us need this place. I got by fine before joining Bill, most of you guys did too, and we can get by just fine now without squatting in his weird architecture project."

She leaned behind Keyhole and 8 Ball to poke Zanthar's arm. "Big Z, you still have worshippers in your home dimension, right? Aren't you still getting offerings?"

Zanthar shrugged noncommittally.

"They've still got legends of you, you can whip them back into shape in no time. Keyhole, you've got family—"

Without looking away from the screen, where he was losing hideously, Keyhole muttered, "I'm not moving back in with my mom."

"I'm not talking about your mom, stupid, what about your sisters?" 

Keyhole winced, though it was hard to tell whether it was from Pyronica's question or from getting killed for the third and final time. "I don't know... Bill and I were talking about them once, and I realized they're as bad as Mom was. Bill said probably the only reason they didn't treat me as bad is because they never got the opportunity—"

"Who cares what Bill said," Pyronica snapped. "Bill's dead! We don't have to listen to him anymore!"

"Hear hear," 8 Ball muttered; but he couldn't throw in anything else, lest Zanthar blow him up and win the match.

Pyronica said, "Face it: the only reason the rest of us didn't leave the Nightmare Realm millennia ago is because Bill couldn't leave."

Morph drifted through the kitchen—reaching around Teeth to grab a drink out of the fridge as they passed—and unfolded questioningly around a corner. "There you are."

Kryptos was in the rec room, lounging on Bill's stupid tacky optical illusion throne with the fabric of reality upholstery, staring out a window (or skylight, depending on your point of perspective). He grunted at Morph.

Morph said, "Bill's gonna be furious you're using his throne."

"Whatever. Z's already spilled time punch on the armrest." Kryptos pointed at the patch of reality on the armrest that was out of chronological synch with the rest of the throne.

"He's not gonna be furious," Pyronica said, shouting through the doorway that inexplicably connected to the rec room. "He's not gonna be anything because he's dead. He died. D-E-A-D."

"He's not." And suddenly Morph were in Pyronica's face, all of their polygons and lines and piercing slitted eyes circling her head like angry moons. Keyhole leaned toward 8 Ball to see the screen around them, and 8 Ball elbowed him back over. Morph said, "He can't be. If Bill was dead, the Nightmare Realm would be falling apart even faster—"

"So let's bail while we can—"

"—but it's not," they said. "If anything, its degradation is slowing down. That would be impossible if he were dead, he's instrumental to holding the Nightmare Realm together—"

"Unless he lied about that, and he was actually making everything worse," Pyronica said.

"Bill's not a liar! We have the data to prove it, we've been measuring the degradation for billennia—"

"I'm sick of your stupid measurements! It was your 'measurements' that said 46'\ was perfect to take over! Was that stupid barrier part of your measurements?!"

"That barrier was extremely localized, there's no way we could have detected—"

"The portal was right in the middle of it! How did you idiots miss it?!"

8 Ball groaned as Zanthar whittled away the last of his HP. Zanthar let out a gentle hum like the sound of an apocalyptic vacuum cleaner as the game declared him the winner.

8 Ball tossed his controller at the TV. The TV squealed in fear. "If Bill is alive, that's just another reason to get out of the Nightmare Realm! Leave before he gets back! He can play king in this dump by himself."

Paci-Fire said, "Surely, you do not mean that. Were Bill still around..."

"No! No, I do mean it! The only reason we've stayed so long is because everyone's too starstruck or too scared to ditch him! Not anymore! If his flat-brained cultists wanna wait for him, fine! But why do we all gotta stay?"

"Hey!" Hectorgon rushed in from the kitchen to snarl at 8 Ball. "Who're you calling flat, cue tip—?"

Kryptos tuned out the argument downstairs/next door as 8 Ball and Hectorgon started brawling. Who were they kidding? Nobody was leaving. Maybe 8 Ball, he'd tried to split four or five times before crawling back, but Kryptos didn't care about him anyway. Bill had always been right about him: he was too selfish to care about the rest of the gang but too stupid to make it on his own. They'd taken in losers like that before and it had never been a big loss when they left. But no one else would leave. Where would they go?

Where could they go?

Kryptos didn't care about the outerplanar Henchmaniacs' reasons for joining Bill; but the shapes were here because Bill had promised to make them a new home. He was the only one in all of reality who could do it. Kryptos was as desperate to hear from Bill as Morph and Hect were. They'd held fast to Bill's promise for a trillion years—so how could they let go of whatever thin thread of that hope remained? Who would they be if they lost it?

But in his heart, Kryptos didn't really believe Bill was out there. He'd been gone too long. And Kryptos couldn't imagine anything less catastrophic than Bill's destruction could have reversed Weirdmageddon.

Yet he was still here, and still waiting, because he didn't know what else to do. He'd stay in the Quadrangle until the whole realm finally fell apart, just in case Bill casually floated back in one day. He'd do anything they could think of to find him and bring him back.

And then Kryptos got a call from Earth.

He sighed heavily.

Calls from Earth weren't unusual. Perks of having helped found the Fishmasons: Kryptos was occasionally summoned by the Fishermen high-ranked enough to be told their organization really did know an interdimensional alien who was their de facto secret leader and presided over their most important rituals. Assuming "de facto secret leader" meant "living equivalent of a beloved sports team mascot," and "presided over" meant "got free invitations to," and "most important rituals" meant "most fun parties." But the humans liked to pretend that their little group was a lot more important and cloak-and-dagger than the social club it really was; and all the wink-wink-nudge-nudge pretending-Kryptos-was-in-charge, while silly, was also kind of flattering. You didn't get many chances to be the star of the show when you lived around a supernova like Bill.

So, Kryptos got calls from Earth from time to time—at least a handful a year—typically from a middle-aged man in a business suit trying to pretend he wasn't giddy about being the guy who'd gotten permission to pull out the candles and contact The Alien.

Kryptos was not in the mood to talk to humans. Humans were why they were in this mess. Humanity could go jump in a lake.

But it wasn't every human's fault that a handful had somehow taken out Bill. And maybe they were calling for a party. Maybe it would cheer him up.

So he sighed again, half heartedly shouted, "Guys—guys, shut up a second, I'm getting a call," and opened up a window to Earth.

His vision was filled with a brown-skinned golden-haired haunted-eyed human who, at the sight of Kryptos, gave him a relieved, face-splitting smile. "H—"

Kryptos hung up.

To reiterate: he took calls from middle-aged men in business suits. That was a naked woman crouched on the floor like an animal.

"Who was it?" Hectorgon asked.

"No one. Some woo-woo witchy type who probably dug up a leaked Fishmason ritual online."

Hectorgon laughed. "I bet it thought it could ask a 'demon' for lottery numbers."

"Sorry, sister, but that's Bill's schtick," Kryptos said. "My number is unlisted for a reason."

Kryptos wondered about Bill's human pals. Well—"pals" was a bit of a stretch—devotees and students. How often did he get calls? And now they couldn't reach him.

Stinks for them. Must be awful, reaching out to someone in another dimension for help and getting nothing back.

####

An ethereal, sourceless voice whispered in Bill's ear, "The all-knowing dream demon you're trying to reach is currently unavailable for visions and prophecies. If this is an emergency, wake up and call your nearest Masonic lodge. Otherwise, please leave your prayers or petitions after the beep." Beep.

Bill stared, jaw dropped, at the empty patch of air where Kryptos had been projecting just a moment ago. After several seconds of mute outrage, Bill said, "Kr... Kryptos. You... I swear, if you don't get back here this SECOND—"

The sheer force of his anger woke him up. His eyes fluttered open to the world of color and humidity and pattering water. He grabbed every towel he could reach, wadded them up, and screamed into them. "KRYPTOS YOU SON OF A— I KNOW YOU NEVER CHECK YOUR VOICEMAIL! AND WERE YOU ON MY THRONE, WERE YOU SITTING ON MY SPECIAL THRONE—!"

He shrieked until his lungs were empty.

####

At sixty minutes exactly, Ford knocked and opened the bathroom door. Bill stood scowling behind it.

Dryly, Ford asked, "Have a pleasant shower?"

Wet hair hanging in tangles, face flushed red, eyes even redder, Bill snapped, "Yeah. Refreshing."

####

"Mabel?"

Mabel glanced down from the stepladder at Bill, then pointedly looked away and continued taping Summerween decorations to the hallway wallpaper. "What."

"Mabel," Bill tried again, a touch more pleading. "O great Shooting Star. My hero. My one and only friend in this hostile universe. Last person who hasn't utterly forsaken me." He leaned on the wall, the back of his hand pressed to his forehead. "The sole illumination in the dark night of my accursed postmortem existence—"

Mabel grudgingly looked at Bill again. "What do you want?"

"Listen: I know I upset you at the mall, and I still need to make it up to you—I do, I do, I just haven't had a chance yet—and you're still a little mad at me, okay—buuut... can you help me make a costume." He pressed his hands together. "Please. I'll owe you one. I'll be in your debt. Just let me dress up for Summerween."

Mabel frowned at him. She frowned a little more. She said, frowning, "You're so lucky I love costumes."

####

(Next week: Summerween part 2!! Thanks for reading, if you enjoyed I'd love to hear from y'all what you think! I've been waiting to get to the Henchmaniacs for a long time. Mainly in the hopes y'all will yell at me for putting Bill through heck again.)

[saltpepperbeard]

(different anon!) oh my gosh i'm so sorry people are already discoursing about the panel and fandom's response...personally i think in a world where fictional queer sexuality is so often the source of shame and a thing to hide, it'd be monumental for stede's perception of himself changing ("becoming a man") because he accepts himself and is proud of queer sex and sexuality. it's so shallow to assume that in this Very Specific Context saying stede having sex will make him a man must mean we all also think that applies to literally every single other context...ESPECIALLY because one of the most prevalent themes in OFMD is the notion that everyone's own idea of becoming a man or what makes them a man is going to be different. so terribly sorry for rambling in your inbox it just infuriates me to see people being deliberately obtuse in order to find something to be upset about. also i'm ace if that changes the perception of what i'm saying here

No no please, don't apologize at all! You articulated and encapsulated exactly what I was trying to say. So like-

[aldermos]

Surge secretly loves those comically large plushies you can get at fairs and carnivals. When she moves in with Amy, her half of the room gets filled with some comically large stuffed bears, among other things.

amy with the high striker game = instant profit 🤭

hcs where surge softens out (or is a softy at heart) always get to me (´°̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥ω°̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥)

I feel like they would definitely have some sort of competition to see who would get the biggest plush available pfff

[gardensofbabilon]

Mamma mia! - Enzo Vogrincic x Fem! Reader

Você e Enzo são os dois atores sensação em hollywood no momento, após tanta insistência de seus fãs, um papel romântico com o galã uruguaio finalmente bate a sua porta.

a/n: deixem requests pfff

tw: palavrões...

popbase

ATENÇÃO AOS CORAÇÕES LATINOS!!! seutwitter e nousotwiterrrr estarão na mais nova comédia romântica da netflix!! Preparados pra muita pegação no set?

vsgrincic AI CARALHO O ENZO TEM EMPREGOOOOOO

lovesenzito MENTIRAAAAAAAAAAA EU QUE PEDI

snpoems O SEU TRABALHO netflixes É PROVIDENCIAR MUITOS MIMOS PORRA

kukuesteban o boludo tem sorte pra caralho

juanicar enzo no oscar outra vez!!

10 meses depois

curtido por vogrincicenzo, juanicar, blaspolidori e mais 1.987.982 pessoas.

seuuser Após longos 10 meses... ''Todos menos você'' está entre nós!! Foi um prazer poder trabalhar com tanta gente sensacional.. em especial meu fotógrafo pessoal vogrincicenzo (fotos tiradas por ele btw!)

carregar mais comentários..

vogrincicenzo melhores meses da vida! adoro seu ser fotógrafo (curtido por seuuser)

suabff amiga!! quanto orgulho de você ahhhhh, que venham mais e mais conquistas, você merece o vogrincicenzo e muito mais hahahahah (curtido por vogrincicenzo)

juanicar *unwritten intensies*

user4 Queria tanto ser o enzo

⤷ snbrasil rt intenso, como é sortudo quem beija a boca Dela

user5 o enzo é um puta fotógrafo, se fosse eu me tremia toda com os olhos dessa mulher (curtido por seuuser)

todosmenosvoce Contem aqui se valeu a espera pra ver enzito e sn juntinhos!!

ver 768 respostas

curtido por seuuser, juanicar, kukuesteban e mais 1.726.902 pessoas.

vogrincicenzo Alguns registros da premiere de todosmenosvoce, tem sido uma jornada diferente e intensa.

Tive a melhor experiência da minha vida ao lado de uma mulher talentosíssima em tudo que se propõe (obrigado pelas fotos), foram 10 meses de risadas, brincadeiras, choros.. mas principalmente de cumplicidade e amor.

Espero que aproveitem tanto quanto nós!

carregar mais comentários..

seuuser Desse jeito vamos competir para ver quem tira as melhores fotos!

⤷ vogrincicenzo Acho que vou amassar você igual no basquete! ⤷seuuser ENZO VOCÊ ME ROUBOU. LITERALMENTE

⤷ vogrincicenzo Você não sabe perder alalallaa

kukuesteban Que orgulho boludo!! Dale!! (curtido por vogrincicenzo)

user2 ahhhbahhasdbbe eles ficam se fotografando

netflixes Quando vão liberar as fotos que vocês tiram???!

user4 QUEREMOS TODOS MENOS VOCÊ (ENZO'S VERSION) (curtido por vogrincicenzo e seuuser)

curtido por seuuser, vogrincicenzo, kukuesteban e mais 7.020.837 pessoas.

gqspain Essa semana temos uma edição abençoada! seuuser fotografada por vogrincicenzo na capa com uma entrevista de aquecer o coração dos dois! Link na bio para mais..

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user7 ''Enzo completou dizendo que em poucas vezes na vida foi atingido por um raio tão forte quanto aquele que o alcançou quando viu s/n pela primeira vez'' VOCê TA ME ZOANDO 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

vogrinciclover ''Acho que ter conhecido o enzo durante esse período difícil da minha vida mudou quem eu sou hoje'' VOU VOM6TAR

seuuser obrigada gq pela oportunidade!! Não poderia ter sido melhor e o fotógrafo é sensacional 😊

vogrincicenzo Foi um prazer abrir meu coração e minha câmera para vocês! Até a próxima!

snbrasil ABRIR A CÂMERA??? ESSAS FOTOS SÃO ANTIGAS???? OIII?

3 meses depois..

popbase O sucesso de bilheteria e de crítica ''Todos menos você'' Com os atores seutwitter e nousotwiterr acaba de receber 5 indicações ao oscar! Parabéns aos nossos latinos!

enzosgf ENZO VOGRINCIC 3 VEZES OSCAR NOMINEEEE CHUPA

snsunshine É A ROMCOM SO SÉCULO

vgrincsns queremos um pedido de casamento no palco vai ser babadoooo

curtido por juanicar, vogrincicenzo, kukuesteban e mais 8.979.655 pessoas.

seuuser Acordei com a notícia que somos 5 vezes indicados ao Oscar, que momento.

Enzo, o coração desse filme, não poderia ter feito nada disso sem você ao meu lado, essa indicação não é só minha, ela é Nossa, afinal nós somos um.

Muito obrigada a todos que assistiram ao filme, apoiaram a campanha e me auxiliaram até aqui, em um pequeno gesto de retribuição: um dump das gravações! A vida tem sido tão bondosa comigo.

carregar mais comentários..

vogrincicenzo Mi cariño, estou estonteado de ser a pessoa que você compartilha as honras da vida, obrigado pelo ano e que ano. Você merece.

juanicar Pombinhooooos, vocês merecem!!

blaspolidori 👏👏👏👏

snbrasil Ai tem um cisco no meu olho. Que orgulho de dizer que estamos aqui desde o primeiro dia. (curtido por seuuser)

⤷ seuuser Eu sempre vejo vocês! Obrigada!!

curtido por juanicar, seuuser, kukuesteban e mais 3.948.029 pessoas.

vogrincicenzo Família unida e comemorando, espero que a sn não me mate pela foto.. Eu te amo meu amor e futura mulher! Compartilhar todas as manhãs ao seu lado é uma benção, especialmente em dias como esses, a vida não parece real. Obrigado a todos.

Os comentários dessa publicação foram desativados.

[your-yellow-duckly]

Knock knock we're back!

Sort of...we still look like we're dead...

pfff its fine...well for you. My parts were ripped out and you were ripped in half....

right...

Come be glad we're alive again!

@alexartink @aldo-is-missing @ask-joe-caine @jointhemidnightcarousel @the-moss-priest

[rielzero]

A while ago I saw someone make a fun headcanon post were Ascended Astarion bites (more like nips than bite through) his consort as a stress relief, since a lot of folks see his relationship with them as a safety/comfort blanket I suppose? Very gently. Needs them around all the time. Idk, just thought it was cute.

My own take is more inspired by the grabby-ness of the patch 6 kisses, (less of the playful shoving/pushing) where Astarion will feel very touchy-feely as a means of comforting.

Astarion: *Grabs hold of Locke's chin and studies the side of his neck, just staring at the bitemarks he's left.*

Loki: *confused look, then looks amused*

They could just be doing about anything and Astarion will casually put his thumb to his lip to get a look at his fangs. Loki: I don't think I have cavities. *makes a face because he's not sure why he keeps doing that* Astarion: *absent-minded-satisfied-happy face* Hmm? Oh. Of course you don't, you're perfect.

Loki: So you keep saying, you're being very grabby lately.

Astarion: Ah- *releases*

Loki: Oh- I don't mind!

Astarion: Astarion: *Grabs hold of his face again*

The touchiness continues in almost any scenario, even if they're not directly engaged in conversation with each other. Astarion just needs to redirect Loki towards him for a moment, and he starts doing it subconsciously out of habit. There's not much thought behind it beyond affection.

Loki: *looking over documents he's holding* Astarion: *engaged in a conversation with his staff, wandering around the room as he's directing them to new tasks and plans* Loki: *Sorting the documents, not looking at Astarion* Astarion: *during his wandering, he moves closer to Loki, tilts his chin with a gentle caress while he's talking to staff*

Loki: *looks up from the movement, blinks confused when he makes eyecontact* Astarion: *smiles at him, caresses his shoulder before turning his face back to staff while he's still engaged in conversation with them.*

Loki: *raises a brow, small smile while he turns his attention back to the documents, shakes his head in amusement*

The staff: *all carefully observing the body language while listening, they see Astarion do this all the time, it's kind of expected at this point.*

Pfff. Can you imagine the diary / journal entries of the servants? The fanatics would be drafting entire paragrahps detailing all the tiny micro-movements he's making towards Loki even if they're not talking to each other. All Loki has to do is be in the room, and Astarion will subconsciously direct affectionate glances towards him no matter what is happening. And Loki would do the same towards him, of course. Lots of staring, lost in thought.. Fidgeting. Rubbing his wrist affectionately while he's getting lost in Astarion's voice. (bitemark location.)

They don't have to be directly engaged with each other for affection to be radiating off of them through the room. And everyone gets to see it. All the time.