#source: my bullshit aha

[introverting-rn]

phoenix: i don’t know, ema, i’m useless at this stuff!

ema: we know.

phoenix: then why do you kids keep coming to me for relationship advice?

ema: you’re in the most stable relationship out of all of us!

phoenix: miles and i are NOT dating.

maya: *having experienced years of their bullshit* and how long have you been not dating? checkmate, motherfucker.

phoenix: ???

[ghelgheli]

Afab people can also develop a gendered subjectivity in response to transmisogyny, whether they've been victims of it or not, just as amab people can develop it as a result of misogyny. So, if transfemininity is also defined by this characteristic, afab transfem also fit into it. Your objection to this fact is just a bias based, at best, on ignorance.

-

It's is a bioessentialist prescription because you're adopting a conception of transfemininity that dictates that to be transfeminine, you have to fulfil to expectation of being male assignment at birth. this is no different from someone who uses the bioessentialist conception of womanhood which require female assignement at birth. Both are form bioessentialism that we should not perpetuate at our level, but rather we should re-thinking these gender categories in a way that doesn't align with bioessetialist conceptions

whoops! you caught me out aha. I forgot that afab trans people have subjectivities shaped by transmisogyny. I also forgot that cis womanhood is defined in large part thru transmisogyny: the fear of being clocky, constant affirmation by distancing from the tranny-object except when it's hot to have a bit of a jawline now, palatability as opposition to the monstrosity of being the shemale. I guess cis women are transfeminine too!

let's remember, while we're at it, that transmisogyny is the spectre that haunts the subject of the cis man. the gendered border policing lest one take a step too close to sissification, the prohibition on behaviour that could threaten to make him a girl—oh! cis men are transfeminine too!

in fact, we're all transfeminine! transmisogyny, as the recognition and attempted correction of the tranny-glitch that undoes the threads of gender, asserts itself against all of us. it is impossible to be a gendered subject without having contours shaped by the domineering pressures of transmisogyny, because that is what demands we all fall in line to the gendered nightmare. oops! all transfem!

but wait. a certain group, deprived now of unique identification, has just lost the ability to describe its gendered situation. it has been swallowed up by the seas of inclusive thinking or whatever. I guess that's okay :) I guess we'll drop our complaints :) we were a nuisance in the first place, weren't we? sorry. so sorry for existing this way.

listen to me. listen to me not as your fucking ephemeral gender oracle telling you what you want to hear before being thrown away, not as your bullshit mouthpiece granting you entrance to this mystical domain you want to claim for yourself, but as a god damn person for once—an impossible thing to ask of the transmisogynistic tranny wannabe, I know, but try!

you cannot escape hegemonic gender and its violent devices with flaccid platitudes about "re-thinking these gender categories" as though by changing the names of things you can change the things themselves. transmisogyny is the bioessentialism, and transmisogyny is why I am a failed man—the faggot embodied—something less than both man and woman—a gender traitor specifically against my assignment itself. and if you cannot recognize the unique ways that transmisogyny is deployed unrelentingly and irrevocably against the ones who will never be able to resort to birth assignment as a defense—against the ones who cannot throw their hands up and say, "I was never supposed to be a man in the first place!"—you have not understood the first thing about the root source of transmisogyny, and it is no surprise to me that you have no sense of transfemininity as a political category, a(n un)gendered class.

[qqueenofhades]

Wait hold up you know SIX LANGUAGES

Like I grew up bilingual (English in school and Spanish at home) and got through my two years of a foreign language in high school relearning (terrible) textbook Spanish, and I genuinely do not think my brain could hold another language in there if I tried and wouldn’t even know where to go about start to learn another one

But holy shit SIX langauges is so incredibly impressive and I dunno if you've talked about it before, but could you share a little more about how/why you have SO MANY?

Aha, thanks. I know that someone (recently?) asked me about this, but I can't be arsed to dig through my archives to find that answer, so the short version is:

I have studied French in some capacity for most of my life (it was the main foreign language in my house; my parents both speak it); this was enough to successfully bullshit a last-minute MA graduate proficiency exam while barely studying (seriously, don't do this) and then I did medieval French history for my PhD. This means I can read most things, including complicated academic texts (I will not understand a certain word here and there, but otherwise fine), and speak/understand enough to get around in France by myself.

My Spanish and Italian is somewhat ancillary to that. I studied Italian in high school and used to remember a lot more than I do now, enough to translate things, but (alas) I haven't practiced it in a while and lost most of it (but if I worked on it for a while, it would probably come back). I live in a fairly bilingual Spanish-English city and also briefly studied Spanish once upon a time, so there are daily opportunities to read and/or hear it. I would not say my current grasp of either one is particularly outstanding, but still generally enough to at least get the sense of things I read.

I am a medievalist, so I had to study Latin. It was kind of unavoidable. Not gonna lie, I Did Not Enjoy It, though if I had actually planned my career trajectory better, I should have taken it in undergrad. But I didn't, because why would you do that to yourself voluntarily? In any event, I can read charters and documents and primary source texts in Latin, although slowly and with a lot of swearing and recourse to William Whitaker's Words. I certainly can't read literary or elaborate poems or whatever, but for what I do, it's fine.

I taught myself how to read Cyrillic and started studying Russian during the first lockdown in 2020. I can understand some basic phrases and a few grammatical conventions, read text, understand the alphabet, and a few other things, though it is (as noted) very beginner-level. I would like to brush up on it, but that is among the many, MANY things I do not have actual time and/or brainpower for.

[luxekook]

bangtan host club ❯ part i

❯ pairing: ot7 x reader

❯ genre: ouran au, college au, crack, smut

❯ summary: when you had decided to take summer lessons at your college, you hadn’t factored in the impending presence of seven insufferably attractive and arrogant boys… the bangtan host club. 

❯ word count: 2.1k

❯ warnings: 18+, cursing, suggestive language, terrible pet names, excessive dramatics

❯ banner by: maggie @kimtaehyunq​

a/n: while this fic is loosely based off of the anime version of ouran highschool host club, it is set in university - meaning that all of the boys are of age (at least 21 years old)

host club members

❯ Kim Namjoon as “Kyoya Ootori” ❯ Kim Seokjin as “Tamaki Suoh” ❯ Min Yoongi as “Takashi ‘Mori’ Morinozuka” ❯ Jung Hoseok as “Mitsukuni ‘Honey’ Haninozuka” ❯ Park Jimin as “Hikaru Hitachiin” ❯ Kim Taehyung as “Kaoru Hitachiin” ❯ Jung Jungkook as “Haruhi Fujioka”

Taking summer classes had never been on my agenda, my studies having been mapped out in detail since the day I arrived on campus three years ago. And then the university’s president suddenly has this utterly groundbreaking epiphany and adjusts the curriculum to “ensure that all students will leave Bangtan University well-rounded”. 

Screw that. My ass is already well-rounded enough, thank you very much.

But despite my best efforts (i.e. begging President Kim to make an exception followed by crafting a petition that gained over ten thousand signatures), I have found that there is no avoiding the dastardly new physical education requirement. And since my schedule for my upcoming senior year has been planned and set for literal years, I’ve been forced to enroll in the sole summer physical education class offered at Bangtan University - Introduction to Weight Lifting.

I wish I was kidding.

To say that I am dreading the start of class tomorrow would be an extreme understatement. I’ll be lucky to escape this summer without physical injury or the loss of my dignity. Athletics have never been my strong suit, and I’ve only entered our campus gym to go to the smoothie bar.

Groaning at just the mere thought of working out and being graded for it, I trek down the streets of outer campus towards the library, swearing under my breath and sweating profusely.

It’s a blazing hot, blue-skied Sunday in July. Typically, I would be lying on a beach somewhere with a drink in my hand, soaking in the warmth of the sun with joy. But instead, here I am, sweltering and desperate for air conditioning after my ancient window unit wheezed its final breath last night. The comfortable chill of the library is my only hope aside from my landlord who promised to fix my air conditioning by tomorrow.

My frustration builds as I turn onto the block lined with imposing and picturesque estates in which the upper echelon of Bangtan University resides. I’d bet the very last ice-pack in my freezer that these houses have unfailing central air.

I pick up my pace, worn Doc Marten platform sandals slapping against the hot pavement. The pristine mansions seem to mock my distress as they exude the coolness of unbothered wealth. Despite there being no Greek life here at Bangtan University, the lack of letters emblazoned on the numerous estates I pass does not symbolize a lack of status. 

This block is home to the athletic teams who throw massive parties whenever they happen to be in the off-season. It’s also home to the legacy clubs - the exclusive groups of current students who are relatives of past alumni.

And last but not least, this block is home to the infamous Bangtan Host Club, a small group of idle rich boys with exceptionally good looks and a penchant for entertaining. 

The aforementioned group’s house comes into view as I draw nearer to campus. The host club’s mansion sits on the corner lot right across the street from campus. Typically, students are wary of such proximity - but not those boys. No, they’re un-phased, throwing massive parties every weekend without fail and without repercussion.

During my first semester, I had been confused as to why their parties had never been shut down; but now I know better. The host club’s president Kim Seokjin is the son of none other than the fucking president of the university - the very same man who damned me to my weight lifting fate.

In fact, almost the entire host club is related to someone with influence - either at the university or within the surrounding community. The only exception to the wealth factor is Jeon Jungkook, who attends Bangtan University on a scholarship not unlike myself.

About 99% of the university are host club stans. As for me? I don’t subscribe to that bullshit. And I do mean literally ‘subscribe’. They have newsletters, merch and everything. I would say I don’t understand it at all, but a small part of me does.

They’re fucking gorgeous. Like I’m talking Tom Ford at New York Fashion Week gorgeous. Armani catalogue centerfold gorgeous. Goddamn Sports Illustrated Men’s Swimsuit Edition gorgeous. 

In fact, I’m pretty sure Kim Seokjin actually does model in his spare time. With his long limbs, broad shoulders and pillowy lips, Seokjin certainly has the features for it. My freshman year roommate bought so many posters of Seokjin from the host club’s merch website I think I could identify him from a hundred yards away in the dark. 

“Hey!” The bellow emanates from the porch of the host club’s house and jolts me from my memories, “Hey, princess!”

I let out a snort. Whoever that pet name is directed at needs to shut that down immediately. I mean, ‘princess’? In this economy? Please. I need off this block ASAP.

“Hello? I’m talking to you, angel!” 

The voice sounds closer now, and my eyes squeeze shut. Oh god, this person cannot be talking to me, can they?

Princess? Angel?

The sheer absurdity pushes me onward, and I do not spare a single glance in the direction where the inane greetings originated. Alas, I barely make it two feet before a tall figure screeches to a halt in front of me, panting like he had just run a marathon. 

I blink as I take in the very boy who just crossed my mind a minute earlier. Kim Seokjin looms over me, chest heaving and smile gleaming.

“Cupcake, hello!” his smile grows wider, “Why didn’t you answer me? I was talking to you.”

My brain is trying to wrap itself around the unfathomable phenomenon I’m currently witnessing. The host club president is beaming down at me like I’m the last custom Rolex ever made. His white t-shirt that probably costs more than my rent stretches across his shoulders in a way that has to be illegal. 

A bead of sweat drips down my back between my shoulder blades. I don’t have time for this attractive detour; I only have time for a long sip of iced water and a seat under an air conditioning vent somewhere deep within the recesses of the quiet library.

“Were you?” I shrug, looking over his illegally broad shoulder and plotting my escape, “I didn’t realize, considering my name isn’t princess, angel or cupcake.”

I inwardly cringe at my tone. I have a tendency to be irritable when the weather is hot, and it seems like today is no exception.

Seokjin stares down at me, his cocky expression wavering for a split second before snapping back into place. “Well, tell me your name then, sunshine, so that I may cordially invite you to the host club’s latest summer extravaganza!” His dark brown eyes sparkle as he remains seemingly impervious to my building ire, beaming down at me.

“No, thank you,” I shake my head decisively and attempt to sidestep around him. 

None of my friends are on campus for the summer, and there is no way I'm going alone to a party full of strangers. That just screams bad decisions, just like the time I willingly ate the dining hall’s “Mystery Meat Special” during my second semester.

Seokjin cuts off my path yet again, and my scowl intensifies as I glare up at him, “Could you move, please?”

Seokjin gapes back at me, “D-don’t you want to come to our party?” I stare at him with eyebrows raised. He continues at a higher decibel, “Don’t you know who I am?”

The nerve of this boy. My eyes scrunch shut as I send a quick plea to anyone out there in the universe to send me patience and then internally count backwards from ten. 

“Yes, I know who you are, Kim,” I finally say, completely exasperated, “And no, I still don’t want to go to your party.”

Seokjin is gobsmacked, looking like he’s seen a ghost as he stands before me open-mouthed. For a second, I allow myself to indulge one more time in his attractiveness, my eyes wandering along his toned torso, his muscular arms, his high cheekbones, his messy brown hair. 

And then he bounces back, snapping his fingers, “Aha! I know what this is. You’re playing hard to get! Okay, I can play along with you, sunshine.”

It’s my turn to gape at him this time, watching as he mumbles to himself about how I must want him to beg for me and how he would just love to do so. I’m about to put a stop to this madness when he spreads his arms wide and announces loud enough for the entire block to hear, “Sunshine, please, attend our party! My heart longs for your presence, and I will only be happy if I can have your arm in mine next Friday night...”

I’m honestly beginning to worry about the boy in front of me. Is he completely unhinged? Am I being Punk’d right now? 

Seokjin prattles on, “So, my sun, my moon, my stars, will you please do me the honor of joining me for a night of fun courtesy of the host club? No guest has yet to be disappointed and—!”

I finally just reach up and cover his mouth with my palm, steadfastly ignoring how plush his lips feel against my skin. “Kim Seokjin!” I hiss, “I promise I am not playing hard to get. I simply do not want to go to your party. Now, please, for the love of god, let me walk by you in peace.”

Loud bursts of laughter sound immediately after I finish speaking, and I whip around to locate the source. Two boys jog over to where Seokjin and I are standing on the pavement. Their laughter doesn’t subside with their approach. If anything, it grows louder.

“Oh, come on, pres,” the pink-haired boy who I know to be Park Jimin jeers, his melodic giggles punctuating each word. “Is this how you plan on handling your first rejection?”

My eyebrows pull together in confusion as I turn to face Seokjin, only to find him lying dramatically on the lawn in front of his house with one arm throw over his face.

“Go away, Jimin,” Seokjin groans, ripping out a handful of grass and throwing it at the other boy. Obviously, he doesn't calculate for the wind and sputters when the grass blows back in his face.

“Boss, you’ve really hit a new low,” the blue-haired boy - Kim Taehyung - grins as he looks back and forth between me and the over-the-top performance happening on the lawn. All Seokjin does in return is flip Taehyung off, seeming to have learned from his grass-throwing lesson.

Well, there’s no need for me to stay a second longer within this realm of crazy.

I turn on my heel and head off towards the library, renewed in my desperation for the relief of blissfully cold air.

Alas, I don’t get too far before the two boys with colorful hair are in front of me - each with an arm thrown over the other’s shoulders. 

“Well, well, well… I must say,” Taehyung drawls.

“You’re quite an intriguing little thing,” Jimin cocks his head, looking me up and down. I try in vain to steel myself against the heated assessments both boys are giving me.

I’d heard a lot about these two - most of it being completely outlandish and borderline unbelievable. Do they really do everything together?

It’s as if that thought is written all over my face as the smirks grow on the faces of Jimin and Taehyung. “If you don’t want to come to our party for Jin-hyung…”

“Will you come for us?” Taehyung finishes Jimin’s thought, and I am almost certain that he intended for that question to be as suggestive as it sounded.

Before I can even attempt to answer, Seokjin launches up from the ground and barges in between the two boys. “Yah! That is no way to speak to a lady! Have I taught you nothing? Don’t you fools remember lesson number fifty-two on being a good host?”

“We didn’t say anything inappropriate, pres,” Taehyung shrugs, looking pleased with how riled up the older boy is growing. His pink-haired counterpart grins, “If anything, you’re the one with the dirty mind, twisting our innocent words into such filth.”

It’s as if Seokjin is struck by lightning - his shock turning him pale as a ghost before the redness overtakes him. I cannot tell if it’s due to embarrassment or anger. All I know is that I need to bounce.

When Mt. Seokjin finally erupts, I slink away and practically jog across the street to campus. Ah, free at last...

a/n: this is part one in my host club series! originally i was going to make this a giant one-shot but i figured i would just break it up into smaller pieces so that i could get some content out uwu

© luxekook do not repost, edit or translate

[kingchopie]

Hi I’m Obaro ( call me Chopie is okay too). 

I’m new on Tumblr and come from hiatus on Twitter. Practically busy. So much. I’m a medical student. Aha I’m dying send help. Big simps of Overlord. like so big. My English suck. Love to draw sexy Overlord. Humansformers? Why not. Want to have relax blog here. Find source of inspiration. I mean, anywhere. You draw Overlord? I reblog. No doubt. I’m such a bullshit person. Please, let me sleep. Inspiration is everywhere. Don’t mind if I do. More i’m just going to post sketch here, because I'm not a good artist. haha. I love stalking. Like a psychopath- *cough*  Pardon. Sometimes I’m just confuse with myself. It’s nice to meet you. Have a nice day. Chill.

[emerald-amidst-gold]

17, 21, and 24 for the OTP ask? 😁

Well, hello, friend! I shall answer for that is DUTY! >:D

17. What senses (sights, smells, feelings, etc). remind them of each other?

I did answer this one in another ask, but I can think of a few more to share! (I got so much for these two, don't worry~)

So, another thing that reminds Fane of Solas is any kind of painting, namely frescos. Surprise, surprise! But the reasoning is mainly because Fane used to dream of frescos painted in a temple, one he always finds himself traversing in his dreams in the earlier years of his life. The style was nostalgic, impeccable, as if the hand that had held the brush was fixated on getting every line, every detail, every color, and every proportion just right. The paintings were like little anecdotes, way points trying to guide him in a direction with paint and plaster, but the story was always left unfinished, and it isn't until all the memories flood back that Fane realizes who was the artist of his dreams. *winks*

Now, I'm not usually one for 'smell' references, but oddly enough, Solas is reminded of Fane through one. Namely, chamomile. This was something I thought of one day when I was fighting with a headache and I was just watching a Twitch stream, and I was like, "Chamomile is a natural stress reliever. Fane doesn't like tea, but there are bath oils and incenses infused with chamomile, right? He would definitely be given that by someone or maybe even takes initiative to get it himself." Thus, the headcanon was established! Fane smells like chamomile, and Solas can't help but smile when he smells it from another source, knowing that his dragon is trying to help himself in some way.

21. How have they changed each other for the better/for the worse?

So, there's a little bit of A and little bit of B for this question. There has indelibly been a positive influence on both Fane and Solas due to each other. Basically, it all stems from pre-Inquisition, aka Elvhenan/Arlathan.

Fane, as a dragon, was inherently tasked with observing elvenkind, watching the flow of which they progressed and if their machinations benefited the world in which they lived. Each dragon had this inherent task, albeit in different ways. Dragons that lived in arid regions were tasked with controlling the sandscape, preserving the ancient temples by covering them with said sand, making inaccessible areas accessible for wildlife, so on, so forth.

Fane, and the others of his specific kin, not only watched the Elvhen, they guided them, but only if it was deemed necessary. White dragons could not want for anything beyond what the world needed, and their powers of absorbing, reflecting, and understanding emotions was what made them highly sought after by the Evanuris. When the Evanuris began enslaving elves, they began enslaving dragons, too. And this is around the time Solas and Fane met; when Fane was the last of his white kin. Fane had gone into recluse, hiding; he turned his back on those who were suffering because he couldn't bear to see them be subjected to magic bending and breaking their minds, turning their eyes grey where they were otherwise a multitude of colors. Solas found him through a curious venture as we all know the dear wolf is prone to curiosity.

Their beginnings were rough. Fane tried multiple, multiple times to kill Solas. He saw him as no different than those who had thus far enslaved his kin. He held anger, rage, resentment, and pride, which warped his nature of calm observation and cool acceptance to preemptive prejudice and scornful indifference. Fane stopped caring; about everything. Solas reached out to him, wanted to help him, and for the sake of keeping things somewhat short, they grew close after constant revisits and...silence. Solas allowed Fane to watch him, learn about him, read his eyes, and in turn, Fane began to open up, rediscover his original nature, and learn about another side from a more personal view. Solas taught Fane that nothing can change or return to what they had been unless he tried, and he did, even though it ended poorly. And even though it takes him twenty-four years and a lot of hardship, Fane finally remembers that important lesson and he's forever grateful, even as they walk onto the same stage that burned before.

Now, Fane has helped Solas do something we all know the dear wolf is a bit hesitant to do, and that's show his emotions. I stated once upon a time that my interpretation of Solas a little more...personal. Basically, I'm exploring a side of Solas that we don't really get to see, and that's an emotional one. My stories encompass a lot of emotion, a lot of grey morality, so I try to do that while keeping Solas in character with how we know him. However, with this AU of mine, Solas is more in touch with his emotions when with Fane. Why? Because Fane did what he was tasked with from birth; he guided. Through silent looks and seemingly disgruntled huffs, Fane allowed Solas to open up, to feel safe when every corner held a knife.

He let him be him. Not the Dread Wolf. Not the Rebel God. Not anything more than what he was naturally, and that was a being who needed to let their emotions go as freely as the magic so intertwined with their nature. They were friends, companions, even though they were two completely different species, and for all intents and purposes, enemies. They loved each other, but couldn't say it. After Fane died, Solas locked up again, kept his emotions sealed away, but when Fane reappeared in his life, both unknowing of who the other was, it all came back so easily, so fluidly. And what you'll see in a lot of my stories of Solas and Fane's early acquaintanceship in Inquisition is that they flow, they let the other be weak even though they don't want to be weak.

As for how they change each other for the worse...well, that ties into a lot of what I have planned during Post-Trespasser arcs. My stories are 'fix-its', but again, grey morality. There's a happy ending, but not without opposition first and a lot of hard lessons. Solas and Fane will do shit that makes people go, "Why?!", but aren't we already saying that with what Solas canon-wise is doing? Why not add an Inquisitor into the mix and live the fantasy we weren't allowed to choose?

24. What is something they have each had to forgive the other for?

Okay, so Fane's isn't what you'd think it is. You all know me, I like to go, 'You thought not! AHA! >:D'. Most people who've read my stories might think, "Oh, Fane has to forgive Solas for erecting the Veil because it's driving his kin insane." That makes sense, but it's not what Fane has had to forgive Solas for. Fane has had to forgive Solas for doubting him.

What I mean by this is that Solas tries to steer Fane away from helping him (Look! It's canon after all! XD). And mainly it's because Solas sees Fane thriving in this new life, connecting with people, seeing the world from a different perspective, and so he starts to think that Fane wouldn't want to help him. Which is complete bullshit because Fane, even when Solas tries to gently steer him away, is like, "I'm here. I'm not going to abandon you again." But typical Solas is typical Solas and is weighed down with grief and his doubts, but eventually he relents after a dragon fight. I won't say when this will occur, but...yeah. It's a bad time, and it shows Solas that Fane wasn't thriving as well as he'd thought. It takes a bit, but Fane comes to understand why Solas was trying to guide him away, and it helps when you're a stubborn dragon in love with a stubborn wolf! :D

Now for Solas, I have a little excerpt from a short story (the one I've been sharing a lot in tag games!). It kind of gives a basis of what Fane can sometimes do when he's not thinking or if he doesn't talk to Solas.

***

“F..Fane..!”, Solas growled out, a surge of heat invading his head as he felt his dragon’s dormant fury within his soul. It was thrashing, knocking, pounding against the confines of their link, wishing to be set free through him and his actions.

“This is..ugh..important, dammit!”, Fane grunted out as Solas was finally starting to push back, as well as his own minor discomfort with the magic that was slowly building around them.

“Then..ngh..speak of it!”, Solas snapped, feeling something like a pinch against his mind before that sensation ricoheted outwards, a lesser burst of magic managing to separate their bodies, but not their tethered souls. “Hiding in your mind only inflicts more harm!”, he almost yelled, his mind clouding with unusual rage. He was never ruffled this easily, but this wasn’t him, was it?

No, this was Fane, or more accurately, Fane’s mind. And it was red hot with fury.

He watched with slightly haggard breathing as Fane slid back a few feet, a grimace on his face from the smell of ozone, but shook it off easily. Now fully golden eyes glared with steamy ferocity upon him, a broad chest heaving with Veil born ire and excitement at finally having a challenge. Solas straightened himself a bit, clearing his throat as the distance between their bodies allowed him to think a bit more clearly, but he could still feel the thread that connected them intensely.

“Ma’isenatha, please--”, Solas attempted to reach the unhinged being before him, even as he could feel his own mind beginning to cloud again as Fane stalked towards him. They needed to cease this dance before one of them got hurt or insanely ill!

“Quit…”, the fuming dragon began before whipping the staff in his hand around in a near perfect arc towards him. “..talking!”, he snarled furiously, deftly hitting the other end of the staff with his wrist to cut off its intended path for a shorter route.

Solas was a bit curious by the adept usage, but shuffled that thought away quickly to block the blow that was inevitably aimed for his jaw. Now wasn’t the time to ruminate! As much as he loathed to admit it, and encourage it, there was only one way out of this foolish scenario!

“Enough!”, a cry harboring necessary command releasing from his lips, making the link between them snap like a bowstring. “Ngh..!” The heady, harsh sensation had the air leaving his lungs before he swept one end of his staff upwards without volition, missing his mark by a hair. He blinked when the sensation eased off, grimacing as he stared at the staff poised just next to Fane’s face, precisely at the point where his scar was. How ironic, but he knew what was happening now with that.

The involuntary reaction had been too planned, too memory bound. It was like when they had viciously fought as Haven burned with fire and corruption, and he had had no choice but to wound the otherwise perfect face before him - a deep scar left on his left cheek from his staff blade. His arms had been wrapped, then strung up in invisible bonds that radiated desperate heat and furious rage, guiding them to repeat the action due to a desire for something unsaid.

In simple terms, he was being controlled by emotions alone - emotions that were not his own.

“Interesting.”, Solas said, but narrowed his eyes upon the fierce man. “Emotions are your strings.”, he pointed out, more realization dawning on him as to where all these minor outbursts, sudden movements, and disorienting sensations were coming from. Fane..

...was manipulating emotions, guiding them to the destination he desired.

Fane’s eyes narrowed, emerald reappearing to deepen with rage as tufts of his hair fluttered from the air behind his swipe. “I’m intervening.”, the draconic side of his love coming out in full bloom now.

“Why?” He issued it as more a command than a true question. He was mildly miffed by this usage of abilities, but he needed context to decipher why Fane had thought this was necessary. It was unusual and worrying for him to use them like this.

“It’s necessary.”, Fane said with a flat tone, but there was fire crackling beneath its supposed embers, as well as the deep emerald gaze bearing down upon him before he twisted his staff upwards to once again aim under his chin. Solas dodged the movement by an inch, feeling the amount of force behind it with air alone.

His dragon was steadily losing his control, and it wouldn’t be long until he was truly unhinged.

“Fane!”, Solas met the glare with one that felt just as furious as he called out, but finally began to retaliate, no longer wishing to play on the defensive and draw this out longer. “Very well..”, he said lowly, gripping the staff tightly as he pressed in harder, matching Fane’s footwork step for step as their blows connected with near splintering cracks. “...if you are so..”, a harsh crack of their staves reverberating through the air. “...intent on not speaking of what troubles you, then I will make it so you have no choice but to!”

A long, muscled leg nearly knocked into one of his knees as it swept under him, its pace incredibly fast for something intended to withstand punishment. It was like a dragon’s tail as it swept aside massive boulders, and uprooted century old trees.

Fane let out a gasping laugh. “You’re still..ngh..t..talking?!”, he roared, snowy brows furrowed in growing pain as sweat began to form along a lightly flushed temple, hand trembling where it nearly snapped his staff in half.

“I am doing what you refuse to do!” A jab with his staff nearly connected with a muscled arm, but it went through the gap between itself and the toned body it was attached to. “Gh..!”, he winced as he felt a sharp yank on his mind, as well as the staff in his hands as Fane grabbed a hold of it to pull him forward harshly.

The world halted suddenly, its furious, heated pace slightly cooled as their gazes connected, all sound flushing out to where the only sound was their combined, harsh breathing. Emerald and gold swam, ebbed around each other like a phylactery did with its magical blood as the face that bore them was lax in stunned silence, sweat trickling down flush cheeks before it would disappear along a strong neck. Solas felt his face was no better, feeling how droplets of sweat rolled down the sides of his face and how his mouth was slightly agape as he fought for a shred of breath.

What was...going on? This feeling, like their desires were coalescing, taking shape before them like spirits shaped the Fade around them...it was intoxicating, comforting, and serene amid the furious battle they had been engaged in moments before. Their link was still there, but it was soft, velvet against his mind as the gentle essence wrapped around it in an embrace.

It was no longer painted...red.

“Hnn..”, Solas let out a quiet sigh, breath hitching after as the blanket around him became warmer, silken. When had it shifted? He hadn’t been aware because of rage painting the world before him in crimson..

“Too...much..”, he heard Fane whisper out between pants, but it was more to himself than to Solas. “...You shouldn’t feel that like I do.. Shit..”

Solas blinked a bit to reorient himself, the softness of his mind making it hard to think before he saw Fane’s face near inches from his, the hand that had grabbed his staff now making itself known upon the back of his neck, steadying him. When had that gotten there?

“What..”, Solas started, closing his eyes for a moment as the world spun for a second before reopening to try again. “What..was that?”

“My mind.”, Fane muttered, eyes flitting across his face worriedly. “I didn’t think..”, he trailed off with a light growl as brilliant eyes turned downcast. “I fucked up… I’m sorry...”

***

So, yeah. It doesn't take Solas long to forgive Fane, but when he first demonstrates just how dangerous his abilities can be and actively uses them to manipulate our wolf gets a little miffed. Solas wants Fane to use his voice more, and these are moments in which Fane doesn't and taps into that warped perception of himself; the one that got him killed.

[smolbeandrabbles]

Jay Arr - John Daggett x Reader (The Dark Knight Rises)

GIF CREDIT: X (okay the original source doesn’t exist.)

@happyskywhale​ @wltz-bby​

A kinda crossover between TDKR and Birds of Prey.

Author’s Note: Ages and ages and ages ago @mandy23b​ reblogged the above gif set, and I said it’d inspired a part 4 of my ‘If I Didn’t Know Better’ series. And then... never gave you all a part 4. Mostly because in the end I didn’t think the mood of the GIF matched the mood of my series.  I was further inspired to write ‘Dress’ but, again, it wasn’t appropriate. Then I was clearing out an old discord server and found an old chat in which a scenario was written about discovering Daggett’s middle name. I took that, and have thus adapted it into the below.

THEN I watched Bird of Prey and BAM-! this hit. And its 50/50 movie/badass soundtrack BUT, this was born, and I got to use that gif, finally! 😁 Enjoy, my darlings 💙😘💜

Disclaimer: TDKR nothing to do with me / gifs & lyrics and the usual not mine.

Premise: Finding out his middle name seems like an easy enough task. You should know better.

Words: 3285

Warnings: swearing / sexual connotations

_____ Girl, girl, girl can't you see What you do to me, tonight Boy, boy, boy, if you're mean I will start a fight tonight You and I could try to stop Oh boy till you drop If we get together now We'll burn this place down Boy, boy boy, want a fight? Come and stay with me the night Girl, girl, girl, are you sure (Uh huh!) I ain't here to fight, alright? You and me, can't you see We're playing with fire Tell me now do you feel this burning desire? Don't stop, make it rock It's taking us higher Could it be just a dream? Are you running away? If we get together now We'll burn this place down

---   

It’d started innocent enough. Not that John ever made anything innocent.

John R Daggett? What does the R stand for? What’s your middle name-!?

Now you had him pinned beneath you, straddling him on his desk, wearing his tie, breathing hard and fast with his passport in your hands. Victorious of course - he wasn’t about to get up from the way you had him trapped, though he was straining. If Daggett thought that the growl in his voice was about to make you weak, he had another thing coming.

***

You waltzed into his office with a bunch of mail; “All of this came for you again - I really wish you would stop having your mail sent to my house, it’s quite annoying... why do you do it!?” “It’s a good address.” Neither of you were going for a customary greeting this morning. He wasn’t even about to rebuke you with a sarcastic ‘hello’. You scoffed “Wait, what? Don’t tell me you’re trying to give the illusion that you have a place in a fancy location? What can be fancier than this house?!” “One of the most sought-after locations in Gotham City, my dear.” “Rather than what...?” You looked around “One of the most sought-after houses in Gotham? Was this not enough for you-!?” He smiled, but didn’t look up from his work; “What industry am I in, pray tell?” “Property.” You sighed, folding your arms. Well, 90% of the time, but you were sure he didn’t want you to get technical with everything else Daggett Enterprises did. John clicked his tongue, “Precisely.” “So you want people to think you own the building?” “The illusion always helps.” You shook your head, looking back to the mail, your apartment was nice sure - but it wasn’t this place. Who cares how people would view the fanciness of the location? But, presentation and perception always was everything to Daggett. “I know you too well J. R. Daggett... Hey, what does the R even stand for?! I’ve never seen that before...” That was true. You’d seen J. Daggett a bunch of times (sometimes with his last name spelled wrong) but never the R. It had occurred to you that he may not even have a middle name but apparently he did. “Ahhh...” He leant back in his chair, staring at you, “I could tell you that, but then I’d have to kill you.” “Mmm... I’m sure I have ways of making you talk...” Daggett’s smirk was delightful. “As am I, but not about that.” You gave a shrug as if you would drop the subject, which of course you would not be doing, and dropped the mail off on his desk. He thanked you with a blown kiss, to which you let him know he’d have to do better - Daggett reached for your hand instead, but you allowed his fingers to slip from yours as you crossed the room. “John, I’m working!” Even though your voice was teasing, and you knew he’d continue to watch you. True, you worked for him; as something akin to a bodyguard, you supposed. Not in the same capacity that Philip was - you were trusted with the bigger more covert operations, rather than what’d you’d call ‘lacky work’, if John asked you to drive him anywhere he knew he’d get slapped – but if he needed someone on the other side of Gotham City taken care of discreetly, he’d send you. You also liked doing some of his business work for him on occasion, running contracts around town and picking things up – usually proof reading for him and triple checking everything sent over by his accountants. Oh, you trusted them, but if anything was out of place you’d rather catch it and send it back for them to correct, rather than have Daggett yell about it when he found it himself. You bent over to slip out of your heels, and heard his groan from behind you, smirking to yourself: “You really are so predictable, darling.” You supposed you looked even better today, in your short suit. “I don’t really care…” Was his breathed response, as you stood and turned back to him again. “If you want it, you gotta come get it.” “Were I not incapacitated with mail…” He nodded to the pile you’d left and you laughed, “Uh huh. I see.” You weren’t sure it was a relationship – you weren’t exactly calling yourself his girlfriend. You refused to entertain the implication that he was paying you (and well!) for your services, and that this was just one of those. Surely not; neither of you were seeing anyone else. It was comfortable – and you cared about him at least. You weren’t sure it was love yet, but you weren’t ruling it out either. You were happy to see that there was in fact a contract for you to proof read and you hadn’t come all the way out here for nothing – delivering his mail certainly didn’t help. “You hear they’re all still looking for the Bertinelli diamond?” “You interested?” If he was going to ask you to try and find it, you’d rather John just say it. You flipped through the contract to find the corresponding number and went to open his filing cabinet to find your redlined copy: hopefully it’d all line up. “It’s interesting.” “So you don’t want it?” “Everyone that does winds up dead, so no.” “Good.” “Your conversation is lacking today.” “Just sounds like hard work I don’t need to involve myself in, to me.” Plus you didn’t want to end up dead. You slid the contract out and then paused, before you closed the draw: didn’t he keep his passport in here? For business trips and such? You opted to keep him talking, sliding the top draw open as silently as possible “Who’s the interested party?” “Roman Sionis.” “Roman? That sounds messy… not something I’d want to be involved in…” You searched through the files carefully, AHA!, as you pulled it out. “Yeah, I’d ag- WHAT ARE YOU DOING!?” “If you won’t tell me,” You waved his passport around, “I’ll just find out myself.” That got him out of his seat, “Put. That. Back.” “If you want it…” You smirked again, repeating yourself, “Come get it.” You probably didn’t expect John to be as quick off the mark as he was, and you were glad of being out of your heels (not that you weren’t fast in them), as you had to skid around the table and run around the outside of his office, taking a breather at his desk – clutching the little booklet for dear life. What was it he didn’t want you to know? It couldn’t have been that bad! Daggett, however, not blessed with young legs and the ability to apply the brakes quickly, slammed hard into the coffee table. “Ow-!” He turned back to you, not letting the pain show on his face, and you backed up a few paces, “Y/N. Get back here.” You looked cautiously around the room – where best to move… John was already unimpressed, a look of thunder on his face, he began stalking towards you – you inched around his desk to avoid him, though couldn’t help smiling – teasing Daggett was just plain fun. “I see that you’re not incapacitated with your mail now-!” “Shut up, and give it back.” “No.” “Y/N!” “All you have to do is let me see it!” Your face softened a little, “I won’t tell a soul! I won’t even laugh.” “No!” “Oh, come on…” “There’s no way on Earth I am letting YOU see it.” “Well… I’ll have to see it eventually.” Daggett almost stifled another laugh, “How do you know?” You shrugged, “If I have to book travel.” “You don’t think there’s a reason you don’t do that already.” You paused, and then conceded – good point, not one you’d thought of. He ran at you again, this time catching your wrist and forcing you to turn back. It was the wrong wrist and you held the passport away. “Please…!” If he wasn’t going to play, maybe he’d respond well to begging? He held his other hand out, teeth gritted, “I won’t ask again.” You looked hard from his face to his fingers – curling themselves tightly around your arm. Daggett promptly let go; but you realised that he had you pinned back against his desk. “Then don’t.” Without his hands on you, you could pull him to you by his tie, one harsh breath stealing kiss later and you had the situation flipped, and Daggett pinned to his own desk, “Just let me read it, John, quick and painless.” “Bullshit. I can’t have you knowing that.” Then he raised his hand, “Besides-!” Somehow he’d used your own kiss against you and swiped it back. “You’re kidding!? How’d you-!?” “I like watching you. I picked up a few things.” “Oh? You like watching me?” You pushed him further against his desk, tie still tangled in your fingers. You pulled the knot so it loosened, pushing your body purposefully up against his and rolling your hips. His moan might have been quiet but it was still audible, “I can give you a good angle to do that from.” “You’re not getting it back.” Although his voice was husky, and as you kissed him this time you made sure to nip his bottom lip. “I wouldn’t be so sure. Don’t make me fight you for it.” This time Daggett grabbed your hands, growling, “Remember who you belong to.” You narrowed your eyes, “Careful, John. I’m your employee, but you don’t own me. Not even like this.” You pulled your hands back from him and he conceded to your warning with an apologetic look. Satisfied, you stepped forward again and kissed him, one hand travelling over his chest to loop around his neck, and the other reaching backwards to try to reclaim the small booklet. Daggett was having none of it, still able to keep it out of your reach. You pulled back, huffing, and as you were never one to give up, decided to play dirty. Play him at his own game – it was time John Daggett got a taste of his own medicine (and you got to find out that middle name!). You withdrew the hand you were currently reaching with, instead focusing on his suit and he made little to no protest at you undoing his belt buckle; lips still on his. All whilst making sure he was still forced up against his desk. As your hands moved to his zipper you ground your hips teasingly back into his, to which you received a stifled moan for your effort, inviting him to undo your own. John didn’t need asking twice, hands on your waist line as he shimmied your shorts from your hips grabbing handfuls of your ass. That was predictable, and more than likely that passport would be soon forgotten. You had no trouble pushing Daggett to lie back on his desk, already looking a little dazed and elated about the idea of this happening in his office.  Why had this never happened in his office? Maybe because he was usually the one taking the lead and you’d have to think about someone walking in any minute. With you on top of him you hardly cared. Let them walk in, let them see what I can do to him… You straddled him, undoing the buttons of your waistcoat and shirt you let those and your jacket fall to the floor, Daggett groaned again as he stared at you. You were in nice translucent lace today – you’d bet he’d like that. You kissed him again, teasing him as you slid your pants off and pulled his boxers down. You didn’t need to bother taking his shirt and jacket off, but you wanted that tie. You took John’s hands in yours and rested them on your waist, with a small wink. “Don’t lose track of your passport now…” He glared at you but as he opened his mouth to snap back all he could do was moan loudly, head tipped back as you lined yourself up and lowered onto him. You chuckled, placing your hands over his on your hips – his grip was so tight, which was fine, you always liked him getting rough with you. “You okay?” “Mhm.” His little smirk was back, “Damn, you always look good on top of me.” “Well, I’m staying here. Winner gets your passport.” “You can pry that from my-” John groaned again, eyes squeezed shut as you moved, just once, but harsh and enough. “Careful, babe, I’m in control now.” *** You straightened up after your last kiss, both panting heavily, triumphant. You fanned yourself with his passport, and half expected for Daggett to grab it back. It surprised you that he didn’t, so you tilted your head – maybe he was waiting for you to let your guard down. You had been playful in getting it back from him, but he didn’t put up even too much of a fight then, far more absorbed in your sex. Daggett put his hands up, admitting defeat; “Yeah okay. Fair and square.”  You couldn’t help but smile, leaning forward to kiss him again, this time John’s hands followed you, keeping hold of his tie around your neck. Guess that made you doubly triumphant. You weren’t sure what you were expecting to see when you opened it to the photo page and your eyebrow raised, causing him to place one hand over his face. “Roland?! Okay I get it.” “EXACTLY!” His voice was pained. And you vowed silently to never mention it again, at least until you felt like annoying or embarrassing him. But then only in your private moments together. This was an award – not many knew about this; you weren’t about to spill that kind of secret when you’d worked so hard for it. You smiled, grazing your lips to his, “Don’t worry, you’ll always be just John to me.” Snapping his passport shut you set it to one side on his desk; case closed. Once you’d caught your breath back, you slipped from the desk and to the floor, unpinning him from under you. It took him another minute to sit up properly, and pull his pants back on – watching you collect your own from the floor. You weren’t shy about putting on as much of a show redressing, although John grabbed your hips and turned you back towards him before you’d pulled on your shorts, placing his hands on your waist deliberately so buttoning your shirt and waistcoat back would be difficult. “What?” He surveyed your body for a moment, “Nothing.” “Then you’re not getting any of my work done by staring, are you?” Although you allowed him to catch your lips in a short kiss. “Maybe I don’t want to… You can do that whenever, right?” His hands ran back to your ass, pulling you closer. “If you want to pay me overtime?” You grinned drawing him to your lips once more, “Now may I get dressed?” “Can I have my tie back?” He unfurled it from around your neck. “Oh. I suppose.” You slipped from his arms as he took it back, and then stepped out of his reach as you pulled your shorts on, neatening your hair you crossed the room to the contract you’d left on the table, the real reason you were supposed to be here. John was more than just a little pouty as you turned back to him, but you couldn’t help but smirk a little – he wanted you to entertain him; you weren’t about to. “Don’t you have mail to open?” He huffed, rolling his eyes and finally standing, sifting through the mail for what was most important – but he didn’t sit back at his desk for a little while, wandering around the room. You would have asked, only that was exactly what John wanted. You knew this man better than he thought you did; but that was because you did your job properly – you needed to know him inside out. Because hell, if sometimes you didn’t need to protect him from his own big mouth. The ego on this man… You’d just about finished the contract when John cleared his throat, now back at his desk, there was a briefcase sitting upon it. He tapped it nonchalantly: “Speaking of Roman Sionis...” You raised your eyebrow, closing the contract you walked back to his desk, slipping back into your heels. “Sign.” “It’s clear?” “Mhm. You can read it. But it’s good to go.” John nodded, before looking pointedly from you to the case. You sighed, “You want me to go to Roman’s club?” “Yes. Do the deal, come straight back - what do I pay you for?” You weren’t sure if that was a trick question; “... ME?” If you were getting technical you were contracted for security; everything else was kind of secondary. “Do you want me to mention this damn diamond?” Was that his real reason for sending you? “What’s wrong with that?” He blinked against your question, “No, I was being serious!” You looked down at your clothing, you’d certainly need to neaten yourself up. Roman’s scathing comments were one thing, but he was capable of much worse for far less. “Think I might need my tie pin for professionalism.” On days where you opted to wear a tie, you liked to hold it in place with a tie pin John had gifted you; Daggett Enterprises engraved in cursive across the gold plate; your initials on the inside. “More like the hidden blade.” Okay, so maybe you’d modified it into a weapon yourself – but it was easy to conceal and no one would suspect such a little thing to be so lethal. It at least made you feel safe at some of his dodgier business dealings. “Well I don’t think he’s gonna let me take my gun in!” You scoffed, folding your arms. “You won’t need them, I promise. What would I do without you?” He stood holding the case out to you, you were tentative, but realised you’d have no choice, and took it from him delicately. Daggett placed his fingers under your chin and coaxed you to his lips once more. “Okay. Good… Can I stay to watch Dinah sing?” He smiled and gave you a nod, “You may.” “Thank you.” You tipped your head, half curious and half worried: “What if I don’t come back?!” “All the paperwork and everything is in there. You’ll be fine.” “I don’t trust him. I don’t like you working with him.” And you were serious. The sooner these two finished business with each other wouldn’t be soon enough for your liking. Even if you did get to see her sing every time you frequented the club. That was very nearly worth it. But it was hard to focus on her sometimes when you had to worry about him… “Y/N. Just. Do what I tell you. Go.” John was clearly exasperated, just wanting you to go deliver the case, no questions asked. He should have known better. You narrowed your eyes at him and read it all over his face: Ah! Shit, that was a bad choice of words! You held the case behind you, stepping up to him, eyes searching Daggett’s your voice was still calm as you breathed your threat sweetly: “You better be ready to be tied up by your own tie when I get back. Sir.”

Daggett swallowed hard as you stepped back again and turned, waving once but offering no more as you left his office. Oh, he’d done it now…

---

Thank you for reading! 😁

[punkscowardschampions]

Edie & Billie

Edie: You’re not at home, are you?

Billie: Why?

Edie: ‘cos Rih has to babysit and you are the last phone a friend that needs to be eliminated 👾

Billie: 💀🔋 if anyone but you is asking

Edie: that’s the 👻

Edie: Even convinced Jun to get the fuck out

Billie: with what 👻? 👽 ?👾 🤡 ?🎃 🤖? madness

Edie: 👻 ish

Edie: there’s some exhibit at some museum, idk, it actually wasn’t my idea so I can’t take cred

Billie: 🦖 🦴 🦕 was next guess

Billie: safe that the 👻 🔮 came through with a plan

Edie: 👽 more like

Edie: that’s the best I can do with emojis anyway

Billie: 💬 💬 💬 💬

Edie: I met the most perfect boy

Billie: Dude not you catching a dose too 🚱

Edie: I’ve gone outside of the gene pool so it is not the same thing at all

Billie: 👍 start

Billie: Go on, what else has he got going for him?

Edie: Only everything

Edie: he’s perfect, I just said

Edie: You know that really tall, ridiculously good-looking boy in Rih’s year

Billie: 🤨 💭 ?

Billie: it’ll come to me

Billie: Aha! The one who [some rave story she’s heard of something wild he did]

Edie: I don’t know how you didn’t just KNOW but yeah

Edie: that sounds like him 🤩

Billie: he’s been working at ⛽️ [the location of said petrol station like whatever road it’s on] nights I’ve gone in

Edie: That’s good to know

Edie: I can go in too now

Edie: 💡

Billie: 👻

Edie: It’s so weird how we met actually

Edie: the thread has 90k people on it, what are the chances, how does that happen

Billie: spooky how many posts you could’ve missed before, weird if he ain’t wrote any til today & then replied to yours 🔮 🛸 🧲

Edie: He’s deffo been on there before, I recognised the username

Edie: but he mentioned somewhere in Dublin so then I knew he was at least from around here

Edie: I’d have never talked to him before, it’s deffo fate

Billie: fated if he agreed the monster was a copout reveal

Edie: He’s not 12, so duh

Edie: He’s so cool

Billie: It’s defs him?

Edie: Come on, like I’m gonna get catfished

Billie: this is wild odds, all I’m saying

Edie: It would be weirder if they worked out where I went to School, and then picked some boy who also went to that School to use

Edie: anyway, he’s sent me stuff today so I know it’s really him

Billie: he does look like someone to use for 🎣 but I can picture him on that thread loads

Edie: 🤤🤤🤤

Edie: Do you think he’ll come see me

Billie: yeah, why not

Edie: Aforementioned hotness, he could get ANY girl

Edie: I don’t know who he has gone out with before

Edie: didn’t he go out with one of Rih’s friends for a while?

Billie: [a pause while she has a convo with her friends about this because she has many and they’re mostly lads so at least some of them must know him or have some info]

Billie: Last seen with Lexie but that was time ago & nobody since

Edie: Hmm

Edie: I’m nothing like Lexie

Billie: he ain’t still with her & wasn’t for long, I’d assume he’s looking for different

Edie: and that’s me 🥴

Edie: charming 😏

Billie: 👽

Billie: She hasn’t said anything ☢️⚠️ I’m hearing now, that’s chill

Edie: she’s a bitch anyway, I wouldn’t trust her

Billie: if Blips is accurate on his timeline, even she couldn’t be that much of a bitch

Edie: ?

Billie: Everything with his sister was fresh then, apparently

Edie: Oh

Edie: I remember her, she had a nice smile

Billie: I don’t think I ever met her, it’s gone out my head if I did

Billie: the memorial he made for her is sicker than anything the teachers would’ve though, we hang there constantly

Billie: Take this info with 🧂 yeah? the source is Blips

Edie: She was a lot older

Edie: would’ve been, your paths probably didn’t cross

Edie: makes sense

Edie: he would’ve wanted someone around

Billie: makes sense he’s not thinking straight to pick Lexie to be that someone, but idk man, you can have your fill of pity quick enough

Edie: Maybe someone in her family died? I can see that and making that connection

Edie: not a sibling obviously or we’d know but she’s pretty dramatic, like all Rih’s friends are

Billie: not above milking a dead nan, bet

Edie: 💭 exactly

Edie: Poor Liam, that’s kinda fucking gross

Billie: bad taste in my mouth from being the messenger

Edie: I won’t say it was ages ago because that’d feel a bit like spitting on her grave but you know

Edie: fuck Lizzie or whatever her name is

Edie: she’s probably had 100 lads since then

Billie: Yeah, fuck Lizzie

Billie: what’s next for you & him?

Edie: I don’t know

Edie: I sort of asked him to come ‘round but not just like that

Edie: so his answer was as open-ended, I guess

Edie: I really hope he does though

Billie: he doesn’t know you’re unshockable & didn’t wanna freak you out by coming through the window on a real dark & stormy night

Billie: tracks if Lexie is his point of ref, she’s known for saying what she don’t mean

Edie: ugh, she’s really fucked that up for me

Edie: I should go cockblock her too

Edie: that’s a good idea actually

Billie: You could roll up if he’s working, let him know you’re not alike

Edie: If I roll up on her, he will 😈

Billie: 😶 cos idk how he rolls

Edie: You think he’ll be 😱 / 🤬

Billie: He could think you’re jealous, which would put you looking like her 🤡

Billie: lads always go to that headspace

Edie: most lads

Edie: like your mates who can’t spell their own names without checking with their ma first

Edie: I don’t think he’s like that

Billie: I’ll bite, what’s he like?

Edie: emojis weren’t covering it but I dunno if I even can with actual words either

Edie: he’s like no one else I’ve ever spoken to, I wasn’t bored, and he wasn’t weirded out

Billie: You weren’t even a bit bored?

Edie: nah

Edie: I felt like I was barely keeping up

Billie: 🤯

Edie: but he wasn’t trying to be impressive how lads do, because that isn’t

Billie: he was waiting for whatever he sent to impress you, which worked

Edie: he sent me lots of stuff

Edie: not 🍆 pics

Billie: he looks like he’d be a fuckboy

Edie: right?

Edie: he’s got too much about him though

Edie: I would’ve gone with it if he wanted, he had the chance

Billie: 🤯🤯

Edie: come on

Edie: you can see him

Billie: & I can hear you, you don’t say this kinda shit about anyone

Edie: I know, I’m deadly serious

Edie: 💀💀💀

Billie: What a day

Edie: Don’t tell anyone else yet though

Edie: I think he feels it too

Edie: but just in case

Billie: 🤐

Billie: he blatantly does, but that’s up to yous two to broadcast if you want, how you want

Billie: I’m just excited for the reveal 🎟 🍿 📺 🕹 📷 💻 📼 💿

Edie: He makes films too

Edie: and I’m writing a song right now

Billie: link me

Edie: [do, at least the ones that are clearly not private or whatever]

Edie: 😍

Billie: Cool, I’m gonna check these while you go 😈 on Lexie

Edie: If you hear her scream, no you didn’t

Edie: 😘✌️

Billie: not her 🩸 🦷 🦴 got it

Edie: only partly

Edie: she’s only 3rd on my shit-list, after-all

Billie: if I give you away with a new tic, no I didn’t & they’ll never convict 🤪✌️

Edie: so lucky you can shout ableism if it comes down to it

Edie: ADHD is an excuse for nothing except maybe being five minutes late 🙄

Billie: I’m not going for that with a free pass to shout out at the law 🐷 🐽 🐖 🥓

Edie: you can brag about your free pass, I only get caught when I want to ☠️✊

Billie: not a humble brag you can throw out to your new man, going off these locations I’m recognising, he’s got skills at never getting caught

Billie: How’d he get into [somewhere he should not be]?!

Edie: that’d be telling 🤫

Edie: I told you, he’s really smart

Billie: How didn’t we have a clue about him pretty much?

Edie: because he looks like a fuckboy, I suppose

Edie: you know Rih is gonna act like he’s a decade older than me because she thinks she’s so mature

Billie: 🙄

Edie: I can’t wait to call her out on her bullshit again with something new to add

Edie: can’t wait for the opposition like she’s got a leg left

Billie: She’ll run out fast, he’s cool

Edie: She’s not

Edie: but whatever, she can’t do anything

Billie: No chill, but he’s barely older, so if that’s her only 🔫

Edie: and he went out with Lexie ages ago, well, basically

Edie: she can’t act like she’s really good friends with him, I KNOW she isn’t

Billie: & she wasn’t in Lexie face not to go out with him, couldn’t cos there’s nothing wrong with him 🤷🏼‍♀️

Edie: you act like she’s rational but yeah

Edie: I don’t care, I know this is right

Edie: and what I want

Billie: She’s not, like, irrational enough to be hating on your happiness

Edie: I hate on hers

Billie: that’s different

Edie: not to her

Billie: Yeah but in terms of you & Liam

Edie: If she tries to be nice that’ll be even worse 😷

Billie: minding her own business isn’t gonna happen

Edie: I wish she’d keep hers to herself

Edie: I can’t stand it when he’s here

Edie: I’ll kill Lizzie and steal her bed

Billie: least you can stay at his soon

Edie: 😋

Billie: [frames of one of the videos cos the location is some end of summer event, why not] & you’ll be there together this year

Edie: You really think?

Billie: I don’t think you’ll be dumped quicker than Lexie

Edie: Damn fucking right

Edie: even if he was after one thing, I could do it better than her

Billie: [deletes that message like I don’t wanna read about your sexcapades thank you]

Billie: 🎧 🔊

Edie: [retypes it more vividly which I won’t subject you to lmao]

Billie: NAH

Edie: 😂😂😂

Edie: you’re alright, I’ve got another level to my mission now

Edie: [deets of the scavenger hunt thing]

Billie: Did he sort it for you?

Edie: Yep 😍

Billie: this lad

Billie: unreal

Edie: I think I’m in love

Billie: Someone offer to make him for you in a lab? getting sus otherwise

Edie: That would make sense

Edie: he’s way too perfect

Edie: not that I’m mad

Billie: 🏩 💕 💐 🧸 💞

Edie: 💍💒👶

Billie: [deletes that like calm down lol]

Edie: 👶👶👶👶👶👶👶 maybe

Billie: When’s the [some meteor shower or comet that’d feel very fated and cosmic and therefore we must]? invite him to that first

Edie: 🛸

Edie: I just need to think of a way to tell him where and when

Billie: You’ll be looking up for it, makes sense if he has to 👀⬆️ to find out

Billie: I’d put something on his roof

Edie: About the only place he’d genuinely have to look up to see

Edie: might be less literal

Edie: 💻

Billie: that’ll work too

Edie: plus if you reckon he’ll think I’m mental for hitting up Linda, finding out where he lives without asking will really tip it

Billie: romantic gestures are mental, less of a public ambush than most are

Edie: Everything fun is

Billie: Yeah, but nothing’s fun about getting asked out in the hallway between lessons or whatever 💩 is meant to pass for 😍

Edie: Well yeah, that’s too American teen drama for words

Edie: are his friends gonna be standing there pissing themselves at you believing it even for a sec

Billie: if it’s me his mates are stood about meowing cos some tics refuse to 💀

Edie: That’s cute

Edie: at least you aren’t saying some embarrassing untrue shit

Billie: my true form is 🐱 🐈 & I’m saying the truest shit since 👶🏼 🧒🏼

Edie: I know enough not to throw out suggestions for your head to grab but I’ve seen people saying wild things that you’d get eaten alive for

Edie: but duh, how else did we end up with you

Billie: I know not to watch that shit & maybe 🐦 it but yeah, love to my non-verbals 😝 😜 🤪 ✌️ 🖕 👍

Billie: & to ma for never meeting a stray she didn’t love

Edie: I’ll wait ‘til you wrong me ‘fore I add you to the shit list and send ‘em your way

Edie: tRIGgeRd ❗️❗️❗️❗️

Edie: 💗

Billie: Well I ain’t gonna develop a convenient new 👊 one OR pull a Lexie & wheel out my dead relative to steal your bf 💚

Edie: Ha, don’t

Billie: wouldn’t know what to do with him after using him as a 🛹 ramp & 🚴🏼‍♀️ jump

Edie: I’m the only one allowed to jump him tah

Billie: 😷

Edie: Okay I need to focus on this last one

Edie: see you at home

Billie: k

Billie: see you soon 🏴‍☠️

[scribomaniac]

Something Wicca This Way Comes Ch 7

Unedited! Please forgive me but I’m tired and will edit it tomorrow for Ao3

@andiirivera @blackwidownat2814 @gryphbear @meredeph @jonesfandomfanatic @forget-me-not-s @groovyfoxpeace @superchocovian @therealstartraveller776 @stahlop @kmomof4 @teamhook

While everyone’s attention was on Will or the broken wreck of their home, it was almost too easy for the demon to slip out the front door undetected. If Emma hadn’t been facing that direction, she would have missed it to. Cutting her conversation with Killian short, she quickly followed the invisible being out onto the front patio. 

“Come out, come out, wherever you are,” she called, her voice barely more than a whisper. “I know you’re here Glass.”

One minute there was nothing, and then suddenly a tall, light skinned man was standing before her. “Hello Emma. Fancy meeting you here.”

Tilting her head to the side, Emma raised a brow, “What are you doing here Glass? This is my gig.”

“You sure about that?” Sidney Glass frowned as he began to circle her. The creases beside his mouth deepened, making his face look too long to be human. “Because I hear that the Source grows tired of waiting. He wants results.”

“And he’ll get them,” Emma tried to hide the annoyance in her voice, but from the look Glass gave her, she wasn’t successful. “I’m close.”

Glass laughed and stopped his shark-like behavior. His shoes clicked as he snapped his heels together before her. “No,” he sighed, “you’re not. You’re distracted.”

Snarling, Emma stepped closer to get into his face, “Watch it, Sidney, or I swear, you get in my way again--”

“And what?” Glass smirked before his form disappeared. Emma barred her teeth at the darkness, her eyes snapping this way and that, trying to figure out where he went. “You can’t fight what you can’t see, Emma.”

After a moment of silence, Emma determined he’d left and shimmered down to the Underworld. Her destination wasn’t her little hole in the wall though, this time it was the Source’s chambers. Emma’s skin was hot with her anger and she felt the urge to tear something apart with her bare teeth. She was the Source’s most trusted bodyguard. She was his Firestarter. She wouldn’t be sidelined by some second rate demon who’s only skills were invisibility and pure gall. 

When she arrived in the dark and stony chamber, the Source wasn’t alone. Baelfire sat in one corner, picking at a few pieces of cooked meat left over on the room’s table. He looked up at her arrival, then narrowed his eyes when he registered her anger. 

The source sat before his spinning wheel. He was participating in his usual past time of turning straw into gold. When she was a child, growing up at his side, she’d loved watching him do it. It was a beautifully elegant process, and a surprisingly delicate hobby for someone as powerful and brutal as the Source. 

Today though she was two seconds away from turning the spinning wheel into a pile of tinder. “Master.” She kept her fisted hands at her sides, her fingernails digging into the skin of her palms. 

The Source made a low noise of acknowledgment but didn’t raise his gaze from his task. “What is it, dearie?” His voice was deceptively low and calm as he said, “You look quite heated.”

“Why didn’t you tell me about Glass?” Her mouth pulled back into a scowl but the rest of her remained frozen. No matter how mad she was, she knew the Source’s demeanor could change at any moment. One false step and he’d rup out her heart. He’d probably hand it over to Baelfire too, as a snack.

“Hmm? Oh yes,” he blinked, then looked up at her. His big yellow eyes honed in on her and his shiny green lips pulled back into a smile. “Because I didn’t want to.”

Baelfire snorted, but quickly averted his eyes when Emma turned her head to glare at him. Taking a deep breath, Emma tried to cool the raging fire in her head. She felt like a volcano about to erupt. “I don’t need his help,” she bit out. “My plan is working. If you just give me more time--”

“Two months is quite a bit of time already, don’tchya think?” The Source asked, his nose scrunching up as he spoke his quick words. 

“Other demons have had two years and I don’t even get two months? That’s bullshit!”

“Nah-nah-nah!” The Source wagged his finger at her and bared his teeth in a challenging sort of smile. “Two months with all the knowledge of those who came before you. It’s been too long and I want them dead.” The Source shook his head, his shoulder length wavy hair barely moving as he did so. He stood up and straightened his tailed jacket. “The Seer assured me that Glass would come in handy. How, I don’t care. Now get to it girlie!” He titled his head to the side and gave a theatrical flourish with his hands, “Those Charmed Ones aren’t going to destroy themselves!”

He disappeared in a wall of flames. 

“Aww, don’t look so grumpy, Emma,” Baelfire smirked at her from where he sat in the corner. “Dad’s just messing with you.”

“Don’t you start!” She snapped, placing her hands on her hips and giving him an unimpressed look. “I know you broke into the Jones house last week. What the hell did you think you were doing?”

Shrugging, Baelfire sighed, “I was curious. Wanted to see if I could get my hands on that book of theirs.” Tsking, he looked away and added, “Couldn’t even touch the damned thing.”

Emma shook her head and moved on, “Why Glass? He’s just going to be a nuisance. I don’t have time for this.”

Lazily tossing a piece of meat her way, Baelfire rolled his eyes, “Relax! Just get rid of him if he annoys you so much. No one would even notice if he were gone.”

Dragging a hand down her face, she pointed out the obvious, “He can turn invisible. Makes it kind of hard to hurt him.”

“Hard,” Baelfire leaned forward, resting his forearms on his legs, “but not impossible. Have you ever heard of ectoplasmic biochemistry?”

“What?” Emma shook her head, exasperated at his question. What kind of question even was that anyway?

Baelfire laughed, “Thought not. It means that Glass doesn’t like the cold. It makes him visible.” He leaned back and smirked, “Too bad he doesn’t have the nerve endings to warn him when the temperature takes a dip.”

Emma stared at him long and hard. He didn’t flinch, didn’t blink. He was telling the truth. Running her tongue across the edge of her teeth, Emma hatched a plan.

The next day, Emma watched the Jones house until the sun set and the three brothers all left the house together. Liam and Will were bickering about something, but Emma was too far away to hear. She made a mental note of it though. Bickering led to fights, and fights led to destruction. 

When the Charmed Ones finally pulled out of the driveway, Emma left her little corner and walked straight up to the front door. Liam had been the last one to leave the house, and according to David’s official notes that meant-- “Aha,” Emma hummed as she easily turned the door’s handle and found no resistance. 

Leaving the door open behind her, Emma sauntered over to the thermostat and turned on the air conditioning. The night was supposed to be a cold one, the coldest of the year so far in fact. Emma made sure to turn the thermostat as low as it would go, and then moved to the parlor. Room after room she went, opening every window she came across to let in the chilly night wind. 

She went through the second floor next, then made her way up to the attic. This door was in fact locked, something Emma rolled her eyes at before shimmering to the other side. Unlocking the door, she opened it and set her sights on the large bay windows just past the Book of Shadows.

Emma eyed the relic on her way, wondering how many demons were listed in it. Was she? Shaking her head, she walked past it and opened the windows, taking a second to appreciate the cool breeze on her still hot skin. Even after her talk with Baelfire she still felt out of control. She’d see the Seer tonight, she decided. A vial of tonic always helped and she needed more anyway. 

Turning around, Emma thought about what she’d do next. Take some tonic, obviously, but maybe after she’d pop in on Killian at the pub. He’d probably love that. Flirting with him was like walking a fine line. She couldn’t be too accessible or else he’d grow bored, but too standoffish and he’d give in. Emma needed to find a way to capitalize on the discontent she’d witnessed between Liam and Will earlier. Killian would know what they were arguing about, she mused, it’d be easy enough to find that information out from him. 

But first, Emma shook her head, she had to take care of Glass. Heading back the way she came, Emma once again found herself staring at the Book of Shadows. Her heart pounded in her chest and something in the back of her mind whispered for her to reach out and touch its pages. Stepping closer, her fingers itched to do so. Baelfire was a demon--well, half anyway--maybe since she was human she could--

She took another step closer and felt a strike of lightning wrap itself around her neck, and soon her vision went black.

I Killian I

“It worked!” Liam yelled, his voice muffled by the live band’s instruments. Had it not been for the fact that his elbow jammed itself into Killian’s drink, spilling it all over the bar, Killian probably wouldn’t have noticed anything.  

Accepting the clean hand towel from August, Killian began sopping up the liquid and asked, “What worked?”

“The crystal!” He stood up and grabbed Killian by the back of his neck, “We have to go. Will!” 

After grabbing the youngest Jones brother--ripping him away from his date in the process--the three of them were on their way back to the manor. Before they had initially left for the evening Liam had confessed he’d created a sort of demon trap in case anyone tried to steal the Book of Shadows again. Will had thought he’d lost his mind, stating it was dangerous and likely to kill someone. Liam, as sure as ever, disagreed, stating that since the attic door was closed, only a demon could get in and be trapped. 

Well, Killian thought as they rolled up to their house and found the front door wide open, they were about to find out which brother was right.

As soon as they walked in, Killian cursed, “Blood hell.” It was freezing! Worse even than outside. He made his way over to the thermostat, “Who turned the bloody AC on?”

“Probably the same person who opened all the windows,” Will snipped, rubbing his hands up and down his arms. “What demon does this, huh, Liam?”

“Come on!” Liam said in a rush, taking the stairs at a run. “We’re about to find out.”

Killian followed next, racing up the stairs right behind his brother. Maybe there was a demon who liked it better cold, or maybe this time it was a demon and a human after them, or--”Emma!”

The door to the attic was wide open and laying on the floor, unconscious and surrounded by crystals was his Swan. He lunged forward, but was yanked back by Liam. “Killian, wait--”

“Get off,” he pulled himself free, “she’s hurt!” Falling to his knees at her side, Killian carefully rolled her onto her back and checked her pulse. “Swan? Swan, can you hear me?”  

She grumbled something incoherent. Her eyelids fluttered, but didn’t open. “Killian?” She murmured, her head rolling towards his direction.

Killian pressed his hand to her cheek, rubbing his thumb against her cheek bone. “Shh, Swan, it’s alright. I’m here.”  Killian realized his hand was shaking and tried to keep it steady. “Can you open your eyes for me Swan?”

Green eyes flickered open, first focusing on him and then all around as she took in her surroundings, “What--”

“What are you doing here?” Liam asked, his voice rough and his hands up, ready to use his power. 

“I was,” Emma tried to sit up, but then her eyes rolled back into her head. 

“Here, Swan,” Killian shushed her again and pulled her head into his lap. “Take it slow.”

Emma looked up at him, her skin pale but her eyes bright. Quietly, just for his ears, she said, “Thank you.” Killian’s heart stuttered against his rib cage and the ability to breathe escaped him. 

After another moment, Emma kept her eyes on Killian but she started to speak. “I was coming by to check on you. I saw,” the took a moment to swallow thickly, “I saw the door open so I came--”

“You came to check on us,” he finished, looking towards Liam with a glare. Once Swan was safe and home he’d be having words with his older brother. His demon trap very nearly killed her!

Liam’s jaw tightened and he raised a brow in silent response, not a hint of apology in his eyes. It made Killian want to vomit with frustration. 

Shaking her head, Emma sat up and asked, “What happened?”  The color was returning to her cheeks, but Killian still made sure to keep a hand on her elbow as she rose to her feet. Emma looked at the ground and pointed to the crystals, “What’s that?”

Will sputtered, and stared at the crystals with his mouth agape. Killian could see him trying to come up with something--anything--that would explain what had happened, but absolutely nothing was coming to him. Killian felt the same. How were they supposed to explain how a few crystals electrocuted someone? Bloody hell, Killian thought, he wanted to strangle Liam right now.

“It’s a trap,” Liam said plainly, folding his arms over his chest and starring Emma right in the eye. Feeling his own jaw drop, Killian felt his stomach drop down to the floor. What the bloody hell?

“A trap,” Emma said slowly, her brows raising higher than Killian had ever seen. “For what?”

When no one, not even Liam, answered her, Emma shook her head and headed for the door, “I’m out of here.”

“Swan!” Killian called after her, glaring at his older brother as he went. Emma sure was quick though, and by the time he was properly able to catch up to her they were almost on the first floor again. “Swan, I am so sorry. Please forgive us.”

Emma merely snorted in response, so Killian continued, “Liam’s just been on edge lately, since the break in--”

“Like hell I have,” Liam snapped, his eyes alight with an indignant fire. Killian slapped his hands to his head, at a loss for words. He didn’t understand Liam right now, didn’t understand why he was just making everything worse when he was usually the one making things better.

“Do you know,” Emma spun around and pointed an accusatory finger at Liam, “that your trap is the equivalent of having a loaded shotgun with a trip wire behind your front door? That’s illegal!” Her voice rose with her anger. “I’m a detective, I could have you arrested!”

“Someone--someone turned on the air conditioning!” Will said suddenly, drawing everyone’s attention to him. “Why,” he said slowly, “would someone do that?”

Emma looked at him like he grew a third head, “I don’t know, and right now I really don’t care.”

Liam watched, stony faced, as Emma turned and stormed out of the house. Killian turned to follow her, then paused and looked back at Liam, “Bad form, brother.”

“Swan, Swan please,” he caught her arm before she made it to the patio steps. “Emma,” that got her to pause and turn around. She kept her eyes averted but didn’t pull her hand away. “Look, Emma,” he sighed, “I am so, so sorry. Liam, he’s--well he’s been under a lot of pressure lately and--”

“Stop,” Emma shook her head and raised her eyes. “I’m just,” she paused, then gave his hand a small squeeze, “I’m glad it wasn’t you who did this to me.”

“Never Swan,” bringing her hand up to his mouth, Killian pressed a kiss to his knuckle. “I would never hurt you.”

I Emma I

Emma never thought that being hit with lightning could feel so good, but as soon as she had woken up she felt . . . different. Her mind was clear and she no longer felt like she was on fire. Something inside her felt settled, too, as if something had been knocked back into place. Something was different about Killian, too. She wasn’t sure what just yet, but when he’d kept her from falling back onto the floor, and how he’d cradled her in his lap so tenderly, like she was something precious, it had made her warm inside. Not hot, like she was boiling over, like she was used to, but warm. 

She didn’t give herself any time to reflect on that, though, because Liam was onto her and Glass was due to arrive. After assuring Killian that she was fine to drive home, Emma shimmered back down to her hovel in the Underworld. 

When she appeared next to her bed, she found someone sitting on it. “Hello dear,” the Seer greeted. Her red lips were stretched out into a fake smile, one Emma was all too familiar with. “Long time no see.”

“Regina,” Emma nodded her head in greeting. Pulling off her leather jacket, she asked, “What brings you here?”

“Your tonic, of course,” Regina motioned towards a chest at the end of the bed. “You were due for a refill, yes?”

Emma starred at the chest. She’d just been thinking of restocking her supplies earlier in the evening and somehow had already forgotten all about it. Shaking it off as a side effect of Liam’s demon trap, she said, “I am. Thank you.”

Standing up, Regina straightened her skirts and looked around the room, sneering at the overall dust and disarray. “I see you’ve been busy. How has your task been going?”

“It’d be going better if you hadn’t involved Glass.”

“Oh him?” Regina chuckled. She walked over to the chest and opened it, plucking out a single vial. “Worry not, dear. He’s dead.”

Emma’s brows rose, “Already?”

“Hmm, it seemed the Charmed Ones work quickly. They caught him in some demon trap and when he was about to spill the beans about you, well,” she looked at Emma over her shoulder and smiled wide, showing off her large white teeth, “Rumple had to end him.”

For a moment Emma wondered what Glass had done to piss the Seer off so badly that she’d set him up to die. She almost felt bad for him, she realized with a start.

“Are you sure you’re quite well, dear?” Regina turned to fully look at her, her brows furrowed and her lips pulled into a frown. “Headaches again? Well, no matter, a bit of tonic will take care of all that. Here,” she pressed the glass vial into Emma’s hands. “Good luck.” And with that she was gone.

Emma stared down at the small vial. The tonic was something she’d taken everyday for as long as she remembered. The Seer made it special for her, to keep her powers strong but under control, and to keep her head from boiling over. But for the first time in her entire memory, Emma felt wrong even just holding it. Something in the back of her mind made her hesitate. 

Uncorking the vial, Emma turned it over and watched as the amber liquid inside spilled out onto the floor.

[ourthirteenthclock]

Alright, so I read Freyja, Lady, Vanadis by Patricia Lafayllve in one sitting. 

My general thoughts, in no particular order:

Good use of the eddas and sagas – I appreciate that there is leaning on the extant sources and an acknowledgement of how little we know about the cult of Freyja.

Some alright problematizing of those sources (e.g. our good friend Snorri & his own motivations, biases etc.) – not as much or as in depth as I might have liked but compared to other bullshit I’ve seen in witchcraft books of various and sundries practices, it’s quite good

She breaks out chapters into the different aspects of Freyja/things she may or may not have been worshiped for/associated with (e.g. love/sex; battle/death; magic & seidr; gold/fertility etc.) along with a chapter on the Lay of Hyndla and the association of Freyja with other gods and goddesses (she does a good job of pointing out what has some basis in reality, what is wish fulfillment etc.)

Due to how these chapters break out, it can be a bit repetitious and I feel like some points could have been made more succinctly. But that’s neither here nor there.

Some of the attempts to bring in historical cultural understanding of Freyja (e.g. how early medieval Scandinavians would have perceived sex) are a bit shallow and worthy of a deeper dive. However, I think she did a good job of sticking to what she knew and didn’t want to wade into subjects without having the proper research. So, respect for that.

The engagement with queerness in early medieval Scandinavia was on the weaker side (mention of ergi (to be considered effeminate) as an insult and its association with men practicing seidr; but lacking depth of analysis). As a queer myself I was like “well at least you tried so I give you props for that” but there is more to be said and – I don’t know. I have thoughts on it. But that’s for another time.

I wish she had delved into seidr more. She’s very good at being like “this isn’t Magic how modern people think of magic please stop comflating the two” so I appreciate that. But, I wanted more? That said, this is very much an Overview/Introduction so I suppose that’s more on me for having unrealistic expectations.

I really like that she is strict about differentiating her own thoughts/personal gnosis and unverifiable speculations from what actual historians have written and that she draws a line between them. It’s a bad habit I’ve seen where witches, when writing, blend the two so it makes it sound like your personal interpretation and practice is aligned with the historical record.

It could use a really strong copy-edit, for those that are throne by inconsistencies and things, it can be a bit off putting. Classic for many a craft book, though.

Sources! Very good about sourcing everything! Always a good sign.

I like that she does a good breakdown of the translation history of certain words (e.g., vanadis) and the different implications they have. 

She has a sample blot, which I like. Could use more dead chickens though. Gotta just have that blood on the altar.

Could be more nuanced and thorough on the historic queerness, but that’s my inner historian coming out (aha). One day I will sit down and do something about Freyja, early medieval/pre-christian/late-pagan Scandinavian culture, gender and queerness (and throw in the anglo-saxons for fun because I can). That day is not today.

Anyway – overall, I would recommend this as a quick, accessible read on Freyja which provides a good launch pad. Especially if you want to get into the sagas and eddas and try and understand her through those tales.

Anyway - if anyone has specific questions about the book/whatever feel free to pick my brain. 

[wispandwhispers]

moonboy

Pairings: Prinxiety, Logicality, qpr dukeceit

Previous Chapter | Next Chapter

Tw(s): Cursing, torture, blood, slightly unsympathetic remy for a bit, implied unrequited love, crying.

Words: 4412

Notes: This is so late I’m so sorry. I don’t wanna write for the next week. Christ.

The moment Roman pulled away, Virgil slapped him across the face.

"Why did you do that?" Lunapuer's query came out in staggered breaths, the type filled by adrenaline. He backed away from the other slowly. "Why. Did. You. Do. That?"

Shit. Should of asked for consent first.

"I don't know really, I thought that It would be romantic?"

The emo has started to pace around the room, "This doesn't make sense. You  hate me. You despise the fact I breathe, you design a personalised ring of Dante's inferno to try and drive me to my tipping point." He whipped his head to face Roman, eyes voids of chaotic madness, of stars and nebulas and galaxies and everything beyond. The couch, coffee table and various other furniture had begun to slowly rise into the air, shaking with the distress that the boy must feel and almost primed to obliterate whatever was causing Virgil distress.

If I touched one of those floaty things, would get the galaxy on me?

"Why the fuck would you kiss me?" The tension wasn't thick, it was more sluggish. Harder to move through, harder to navigate and so much harder to leave. Roman was starting to feel ..disturbed ..by this and maybe he was starting to realise that Lunaper was..not normal.

Wait Lunapuer. Luna Puer. Moon Child. What?

"What..are you?"

A long lingering glare.

"I think it would be time for you to stare into my -"

The sound of a metal knocker hitting  wood to the tune of One Jump Ahead interrupted the emo's train of thought.

Virgil eyes died down, putting his planned smiting on hold. He walked over to the source of the knocking and opened the front door to be met with a kid who couldn't be just anything more than a year older than him. And he wasn't being Xia's older brother.

Recognising him, Roman got off the floor and ran up to him, wrapping him in a hug. The boy hugged him back.

"Thomas, you know I love you but why exactly are you here?"

"I'll answer that when you tell me who you brought home. And why the couch is floating. But first the boy?"

Xia gave the emo a shaky grin, trying to mentally concoct a sentence that wouldn't immediately get him killed.

"Umm, Thomas this is Virgil, Virgil this is Thomas."

Despite Virgil only putting his hand out for a hand sake, Xia's cup his face and stare into his eyes.

"How 'bout on the beach...."

"On the beach for what?"

"For the wedd...," He noticed  Roman's 'Not now' hand signal "..ling. Yeah for Wedling."

Thomas ignored the emo's confused facial expression.

"Anyway, Dad  wants me to babysit you."

"What the fuck, I'm sixteen, I don't need supervision. I'm practically an adult."

(Thomas crouched down slightly so he was on Roman's eye level. "You and me both know that we barely have the cooking skills to cook a cup of ramen.")

("Ha, I'm calling you Ramen now, you don't have a choice.")

Thomas stood back up.

"That's what I said, but Remus' is going to need a fucking good lawyer for him to have a chance to see the light of day again."

"That bad? God.."

While the family was trying to figure out what they were going to do, Virgil put back on his jacket.

"Not to interrupt this lovely familial bonding moment but Remus isn't going to need a lawyer."

Thomas looked over to Virgil in shock.

"Oh yeah, Virgil, meet my elder brother Thomas and Thomas meet my ex- arch nemesis, who recently tried to kill/brainwash me, Virgil."

****

"It's my car, why can't I drive?"

Lunaper opened the clicked it open with his key.

"Without me, you won't be able to find Remy , ergo you won't be able to prove your brother's innocence . Also you've put me in a bad mood, so if you don't want me to finish what I started in the living room, I suggest you shut up."

During the emo's rant, the car had proceeded to float about a foot of the ground and the lifter's eyes seemed to be smoking with cosmos.

("I call shotgun!" Thomas ran to the front seat like a child.)

Roman, you can't get yourself killed, you haven't married him.

Xia climbed into the backseat.

"Fine but be gentle with it."

("I'll be gentle until I have to be rough with it.")

("What?")

(Virgil didn't respond.)

******

(Roman and Thomas talk to each other in the back about men.)

ThomasTheDankEngine: ...you're a bottom..

I'mRoyalty: Wtf, why would you even assume that?

ThomasTheDankEngine: So I didn't walk into a scene in the room? Cause you really seem to like him at least from what I've gathered (aha, you didn't deny liking him though)

I'mRoyalty:  (Yes, I am attracted to the most beautiful creation on earth, leave me alone )You were barely in the house for 5 minutes,you couldn't have gathered any 'data'

ThomasTheDankEngine: The 'data' I have collected is the visuals of your eyes undressing him, you horny bastard.

I'mRoyalty: Hey, at least I'm not a Remus level of horny

ThomasTheDankEngine : Fair enough. On a different note, you are aware that your crush isn't even hitting the gas pedal. He's just staring at the road and moving the steering wheel. I'm calling it now, he's an alien

I'mRoyalty: Tbh, I don't think he even knows what he is. And I don't really care, I just want to kiss him. And marry him. And all that other couple stuff.

******

"Um, Virgil, why are we at the Station?"

"I don't know either..."

Unbuckling his seatbelt and stepping outside into the semi cool spring air, the trio made there way over to the police station door.

"Shit, is Pa actually crying?"

"Yeah, he's not doing that well.."

Thomas turned the younger.

"Okay, lets go in before I have an attack over this."

Roman could almost see Lunapuer eyes widen in realisation of something. Roman couldn't put his finger on it.

He isn't moving..

"Hey, Virgil, aren't you coming with us?"

The emo's neck turned.

"To your parents, I'm just some random ass kid with glitchy irises. I'm not immediate family so I don't have a fucking right to be inside."

"You'll be ok though?"

"Is that even a question. I'm never ok, I promise."

*****

The squeaky floors of the centre made Roman feel uncomfortable ,like they had to always clear up...something.

(He would leave the empty gap up to his brother. It was more his forte.)

Walking pass the seemingly pissed officer (who let them move after they were patted down and had stayed their full names, they were met with the face of -

Dad spotted us, time to use those lessons from Jan now.

Their Dad ran up to them and held there faces, almost like they would fade away into nothingness the minute they let go.

"Why the flipping fuck are you here?"

Okay, Dad can curse, my life is a lie.

"Me And Thomas wanted to see Remus." Roman stopped on his elder's foot, code for 'play along'.

The parent stepped back and only know he could see his Dad's dishevelled hair that was rash and messed up that looked like the type you would have after years on end of stress despite the fact when it was neat hours ago.

"Look, I would prefer you here for moral support and all that jazz but your brother and his partner have basically secured their cell, they keep on ranting about how there was a lemon fic -whatever that means- about you and hypnotism and Remington apparently being the reason why they are in this fucking mess- DO YOU ANY IDEA WHAT THIS NONSENSE MEANS!"

I know what it means but I don't need to chucked to Picani's for a session.

Thomas seemed to get the 'we got the information we need, let's roll' signal.

"Oh, shit, I think I left the the oven running, Roman let's roll."

("I new that theatre major would come in handy.")

"Come back when you're done!"

("Anyway, I don't understand what's happening or what you know so you fill him in."

"Okay!"

("I don't really have a choice anyway.")

******

"Get in the fucking car, we are going to cut a bitch."

******

Virgil parked the car at the opposite side of the road.He slammed it so hard that it dented its inside and he had probably broken the door, but Roman wasn't going to comment about that because he feared the earth that was contained in his crush.

He rushed over to Zenith who was laying in the sand of the bay, casually scrolling through his feed with a Starbucks cup in hand and not like the government had just pronounced him dead.

He noticed the angry man in purple charging towards him.

"Virgie, did you see-"

"Cut me none of that 'Virgie' bullshit Remington, you blackmailed someone into silence, you know you aren't allowed to abuse you abilities like that."

Remy pushed down the bridge of sunglasses, revealing his eyes that seemed even more chaotic than Lunapuer's but floating with clouds instead of space.

"This isn't some game anymore, people I care-"

("You care about my brother and Janus")

("While you were being a shit bag to me, I had to find someone who would show me where my classrooms were.")

"back to what I was saying- People I care about are going to suffer serious consequences for crap you should pay the price for-wait, why did Jan and Rem even try to drown you in the first place?"

The glasses are off, what does it mean?

"Cousin, if you think you are big enough to say my full name then you are big enough to deal with the consequences of my coffee break."

("Why the fuck are you having coffee so late?")

("You've seen me off caffeine. I'm not exactly a sane person."

"I don't even want to fight you because I might actually kill you."

Remy looked over his shoulder to see the setting sun glistening over the water he was supposedly dead in.

"(Oh, shit) Look, cuz-"

Where Virgil's eye sockets should be were replaced with a empty caverns of galaxy that was literally choking his cousin. The tendrils of the universe snaked up his neck and grasped onto it.

"C͈̈́Á͖͔͊L̢̖̘̎̄̉̿̓͟͢L̢̢̽̆ ͚͔̩̀̿̒MȆ̡̢̛̖͖̇͞ ̰̠̘̫͑̎̈́̄A ͇̖̙̽̐̓Ñ̜I̡̢͉̝͌̒̌̎C̗͛K̰͊Ň͔̮̘͚͙̎͗̇̄Ȃ̧̱̩͌̓M̰̙̰̿̉͡Ȩ̗̅͛ ̗̒O̡̡̟̜͛̄̃̽NE̗͉͇̿̎͌ ̩̲͛̆̽͟M̹̬͖̔̕̕O̮͖͍̝͑̈̓͆̽͢Ṟ̢̙̊̔̃E ̨̘͆̍T͇͐Ḭ͎̼͛̅̂M̻̠̩̾̆̈́E, ͔̥̭̜̎̽̄͡I͉͎̟̒̅̎͞ͅ ̛̛͉̼̪͇̎͡D̨̩̋̀A̼̒R̺͠E̬͎̓́ ͓̰̭͓͛͋͊͡Ÿ̙̭̱̐̊Ò͖͚̞͑̊̕ͅỦ̙̻̌!"

("So you have a a crush on a homicidal mystery man who is also a magical boy?")

(Roman just glared at his brother.)

"I DID IT TO PROTECT YOU FROM HIM!"

The turn of a necks in synchrony shattered the waves of the river bed they were on. Time was an illusion and two seconds could of passed and no one could tell the difference.

Zenith decided to break the peace.

"LOOK, I CARE ABOUT YOU, I ACTUALLY DO AND I'M NOT GONNA YOU FALL FOR A HEARTBREAKER ON MY WATCH!"

Virgil likes me back. VIRGIL ACTUALLY LIKES ME BACK!?

Lunapuer eyebrow lowered in concentration almost.

"N͙̤̹͚͂͌͐̕O͍͡ M̧͍̲̓̍̇Ą̠̻̤́̈̿́T͔̣̾͐T͓̙͉̈́̀̍Ę̥̠̻͚̏̍̓͊͝R̙̺̠̯̾̑̾̕ ̥̱̋̂Ẅ̨̞̜̉̊HAT̡̥͇͂́̈́̕͜ ̮͖͙̼̻̓̑̕̕͝R̨͓̾̓Ã͔͔̰̻̫͆̃͐̂ME̫͔̻̻͗̑́͡N͈̱̒͑ ̲̗̣̓́̌̆͜Ḋ̠ID ͍̻̣͕̎̍͂͡T̬̙̩̓̀͑O̙̘̻̓̍͂ ͙̺͈͈̀̃̀̑̽͟Y̺̖̖̻̍͛̋͛Ǒ̦͖̀̂͢U̱͊,̤͓͂̉ ̘̳̄̊Í̥̺̕T̠͂ ͔͚͋̑D̲̀̑͢OĚ̝̝̣̏̊S̖̆N̲͕̕͞'̛͙̝̜̎͐T̨̲̲͉͒͆̂̍ ̝̭̬͕̾̈́̌͡Ģ̊I̢̢͍͊͐̊VE̥͕̾͛ ̝͌Ỹ̨̪͕͕̒̋̿OŮ̩͕̯̆̍ ̧̩̗̙̒̑͋̚A̘̜̙͊͝͝Ņ͉̽͆̈́͟Ý̞̣͔̩̂̄͠ ̯̀RI̲͚͔͔̔͆̃́Ģ̲̫̈̔̕HṬ̓ ͙̼͚̫̱͆̒͐͠͡Ţ͈͇͗͑̈O ̹̹̹͂̀͂D̛̠̖̍̅͟O̧͔͗͠ ̛̦W̖͇̹̮͊̌̊͆H͎̉A̩̫͇̽̅͊͜͠T̬̙͔̞̑͛͑̈́͗͢ ̖͖͉͂̆̈Y̯͚͓̜̣̆̈̀͊͊O̡̅Ṳ̜͕̈́̔͆ ̢̤̞͆̕͝D̢̡͈͙̤͗͊̃̽̍I̛͕̱̾D̯̃̓͟!"

The gripping got tighter.

"Plea-se, pleas-e, I am fully aware I am a cunt pile and don't even deserve redemption in the slightest, but let me live and maybe I can make it up to you."

For a single second, it looked like Virgil was genuinely going to finish off the job that Rem and Jan failed to do. But me showed mercy.

His eyes died down.

"Get in the back, use your powers to make today seem like one long ass fever dream, help us break Re and Jay out of prison and maybe you'll see the sunrise."

Remington picked up his shades and went to the back seat.

'Ramen' was shocked.

"Why exactly did you let him go?"

"As long as the moon is out, He will be the one worrying."

******

"Psst, Janus!"

No response.

"La Snits!"

"Remus had spiked my drink and I was high off my ass, wait why are you here?"

Janus turned his head to be met with Roman who was currently picking the lock on his cell.

"I'm getting really sick and tired of people asking that."

The lock mechanisms chimed open.

"Okay, listen: Virgil and Remy have powers that I don't even think they know how to control and are using them to put the whole town asleep. Your hypnotism made me have a 'veil' and made me hate Virgil for about two months. I'm back to normal now. Remy has apologised for blackmailing me and has promised to destroy you-know-what. And- What what happened to your face?"

Xia just noticed Vales face that a scar the look creepily akin to snake scales. It covered about half of it and it was still bleeding, not even looking like it would scab over.

"There is more than one reason why I am Zeneith's body should be at that bottom of the ocean currently."

How strong is Remy exactly?

"Kayyyy, lets get to your-"

"Jan!"

"Rem!"

Remus skidded against the floor, just in his socks to his partner.

"Look, my older brother is stopping me from deforming Starbuck slut's body because that's immoral or some shit and I really , really am sorry that we got caught. How was I supposed to know the fucker could respawn-"

"You're shaking."

And the hypnotist was right, Remus was practically vibrating.

"I'm fine , I just want to have Remy's intestines in my hands, that's it."

"Look, I'm not getting sappy in public but I don't really want a repeat of Canada,"

("Canada?!")

"So can you please calm down for me?"

Remus pouted like a four year old.

"If I do this, I get to kill him later,"

"Of course you can."

Janus may of then talked to Remus about his lack of shoes and maybe given him a piggy back because he was kind of tired, Roman wouldn't know. He was just looking listening to their happiness and feeling happy for his brother.

The hell ,Thomas?

The more mature brother ( his father's words , not his) was floating with the sir, accompanied by the galaxy aura thing that Virgil had.

"So because I stopped Remus from literally murdering Remy Virgil gave me floaty shoes. And Remy kind of apologised to him for something, I don't really understand, but floaty shoes!"

Roman just stared as his elder fanboying in awe of his newly acquired footwear, wondering how the fuck is he older than him.

"Remy won't need to worry, Janus has gotten him to calm down a little. I would say that he has a week left to live though."

"Wow, this day could of gone to shit but it didn't, it's almost like some omnipotent voice is going to say 'And they lived happily after' "

And with every happily ever after ,you get your true love as well.

"The stars are aligning!"

"What?"

Virgil seemed to just materialize out of nowhere, and even in the prison grade lighting, he was still the most beautiful thing Roman had ever left his eyes on. Even in the crappy yellow coming from the ceiling, he still shone like a the stars laced in the sky.

Roman stepped forward and took his hand, holding it loose enough that he could pull back at any time given.

"You know, The boys everyone made up with each other, except me and you and today has almost been perfect I'm just waiting for...you..."

Virgil slipped his hand out of Roman to return it to  his side.

"Princey," He took a long pause, trying to find those right words "Life isn't like a Disney movie, it doesn't have a structured plot and it doesn't move at the speed you need it to. Not everything and everyone is going to make you happy because that's just how life is, lots of people getting fucked over. Janus and Remus might of forgiven you and I might of forgiven Remy for what he did but I experienced hell from you and even if that veil made you do dumb shit, I am still recovering from it. And yes I did like you, you are cute and handsome and funny and just a great guy but I can't have a relationship with you after the shit you did to me. But I can agree to try and move pass that."

Lunapuer shook out his hand.

"Deal?"

Roman shook it.

******

"Turn to page 37 on your-"

The bell broker up the music theory teacher's instructions.

"Remember to memorise the sheet for the 18th of .."

Roman didn't get the last of what he said, he rushed out the classroom to meet Virgil at his locker near Homeroom.

"Umm, here you go."

The sound of hard plastic hit the public school quality(shit) metal.

"Why did you buy these for me exactly?"

"Well, you're always listening to Starchild-"

"Starkid, It's Starkid."

How could you mess that up, dumbass.

"Yep, anyway, and I decided to buy you a a latest pair of headphones to try out. I even paid extra for it in purple and black."

The emo picked up the the case and looked at it and eyes widen when he saw the price of it.

"God, Princey, I don't know really what to say-"

"You don't have to say a single thing, this was a gift out of the kindness of my own-"

"But I can I have the receipt?"

"WHAT!"

He picked up the case and gave it back to the giver.

"These are so fucking amazing and just really nice and cool but I can't do these, I use earphones 'cause I like to fiddle with the wires, they ground me when I have my weekly existential crisis/panic attack and slow down the spiralling a little."

Roman just stood there stunned.

"You spent a lot of money on this and I am just putting it to waste but giving it back to you but I just feel more comfortable with wires, I guess."

Taking his artbook out of his locker for the period right after Lunch, he gave Xia a two finger salute and made the journey to the food hall.

A still stunned Roman concocted a solution to the problem of the gift he had bought.

******

Virgil walked into class the next day wearing purple earphones instead of white and hugged Roman.

The class promptly checked Lunaper for a fever.

******

"Kiddo, why are you up so late?"

"You don't really have a right to talk, you're the one whose up as well."

Roman's Dad reaches for the shelf.

"Wanna cookie?"

"Nah, I'm already had my 2am snack."

A little snort filled the still kitchen.

"You know, that reminds me of those weird dreams your father's been having since we were a king."

"What dreams?"

Roman scooted forward on his stool not to miss out of any of the tail.

"He always had these.. lucid dreams of a reality where we all lived together in Thomas' head."

"You're joking!"

"No I'm not, It's actually the reason why we picked Thomas from the orphanage, he had had  fantasies of us looking after him and guiding him through life. We all had his face as well, I don't really understand it either."

He promptly shoved a cookie in his mouth.

"Anything else?"

The father figure paused his snacking.

"Look, If you are telling me a fable of us protecting Thomas, you better deliver on it."

"It's not really a fable, it's just Logie's imagination running wild. Anyway in the world we all had jobs, like your Dad was logic and a teacher, I was morality and a dad, you and your brother were a prince and a duke respectively and were both creativity."

Roman snorted the milk he was drinking.

"Oh, God these are so weird. I know me and Remus used to make believe play a lot as a kid but like that's so far fetched!"

His father joined in the cackling.

After a few moments of them calming down, Roman queried his Dad.

"If in some weird fever dream Pa has , I can be a prince, do you think I can get my happily ever after as well?"

The ran had started to splash against the window, making a faint tapping noise in the distance.

"Life won't always give you strict  fairy-tale endings, but you can try and sculpt your ending so it makes you happy. "

******

"Princey, !"

"Why are you whispering?"

"Just come here you Disney reject."

"So I can't call you nicknames/insults but you can?"

"Life's not fair, get used to it."

Virgil passed him a note with some numbers on them.

"Can you god to my locker and get the book out of it?"

Roman obeyed said instructions and returned with a copy of Moby Dick.

"You never struck me as the type to read the 'Classics'."

"Yeah, 'cause I'm not." Virgil proceeded to open the book inside to find it was a shell that had-

Are those drugs?

"No they're not, fuuc.."

Lunapuer started to rub his temples akin to how you would if you had a headache or a brain freeze.

Xia knitted his eyebrows together, trying to plan his next step.

Can you hear my thoughts?

"Wow, I wonder why I responded when you said the pills were drugs."

"Woe is me for asking that apparently!"

"Look Ramen, the eclipse is coming in like three hours and I have the worst headache of the century. I use sass and sarcasm as a coping mechanism when I don't know what to say, so bare with me for the time being."

Roman scorched up next to his friend/crush/he didn't even know at this point.

"It would be nice if you enlighten me to how you can suddenly read my mind, but you don't have to."

"I can't really describe it, my brain almost starts cheat coding reality and I can hear voices suddenly that usually I can't. And if I use any of powers, they are so destructive that I could probably shatter the school by just touching the floor."

Xia just listened patiently, taking in his little pupils which were currently flickering from space mode and back to normal.

"So I'm guessing that Remy wears shades all the time because someone is always dreaming or something.."

"Yeah kinda...Ramen can I ask you for another favour?"

It's not even sure I could say no to you. I'm pretty sure the fabric of my being would be ripped apart.

(The emo may or not have looked away with a red tint in his cheeks)

"Yeah, what do you want?"

"I don't even think that I can make it back to class-I'll probably pass out anyway-can you get me to my bag and get me too the office?"

Before Virgil had even finished the sentence, Roman was already carrying him bridal style.

"Hey ,what the fuck?"

"You said you needed to get to the office, the quickest way is for me to get you there."

"What about my bag?"

"You're more important and I'll get it later."

Lunapuer didn't respond.

******

"Why did your dad introduce himself to me by giving a compliment wrapped in a insult?"

"It's just a thing he does, I don't think I've ever seen him introduce himself to anyone normal."

******

"What are you doing here, you should be out there, channeling your inner thespian or whatever.."

Just the muffled calamity of the drama hall could be heard. Also the pitter patter of Roman's tears.

"Shit, you're crying, why the fuck are you crying, did I do something wrong, God I knew I am a piece of shit, should I-

“No, It’s not your fault.”

Even if Roman’s face was currently leaking like a broken faucet, he still managed to have a steady voice by some miracle.

Virgil scooted over to the to the wall where Ramen’s  back was on, looking above him to see the poster for the end of year play of Beauty and the Beast.

“You think you flopped it, don’t you?”

“Wow, I must be so easy to read, the queer theatre kid who never was able to make that part in the school play they always wanted. Next thing you know I’ll go insane and sell my soul to for something symbolic like a crown.”

“You’re queer?”

(The splashes of Roman’s tears just got more intense.)

“Yeah, I don’t really want to put a label on myself yet.”

(Some screamed ‘Next’. It was most likely a student trying to fuck with the drama teacher.)

“Well, I’m questioning still, I kind of like almost anyone. It’s confusing.”

Almost on cue with the end of Virgil’s statement, Roman started to ugly cry.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck why are you even here?”

“I was looking for you actually, Princey. I kind of got into a big fight with Remus over something and I came to you so we could vibe together.”

Even though Xia’s tears looked strong enough to break a dam, his mouth seemed to curl upwards.

“Look, that’s really nice but I don’t deserve you here, I fucked up a basic ass song and now I’m going to be casted as grass #4.”

“Ramen, I’m not leaving until you agree to brood with me.”

“I would really prefer if you didn’t refer me as a food stuff.”

“Roman!” And the tears stopped flowing. And the crude acting in the background stopped moving . And the clock stopped moving and life and death themselves had seemed to pause. Roman didn’t care if this was Virgil’s powers at work or someone had spiked his water bottle because the fact that he was so closed to his face and now he could see the condensed universe in his eyes made all the pain just drain away. The atmosphere was tense like almost the way that his ..better dreams with the boy dressed in stars would start.

“Roman I don’t like seeing you sad, but I know emotions don’t work like that.. And I’m pissed at your brother and I don’t know how to deal with that...”

Roman’s face and Virgil were a little bit close for comfort

“You said you wanted us to brood together., let’s do it.”

Virgil was the one to pull Roman’s shirt and claim his lips.

[prorevenge]

My former employer was stiffing me on money. While trying to get what he owed me, I kinda sorta ruined his marriage and probably his whole life.

OK, I don't know that this actually counts as "revenge", because I was honestly just trying to get money I was owed. I wasn't trying to drop a nuclear bomb on the guy's life in the process. That's what ended up happening, though. And I was told that my redditor brothers and sisters here might like this story, so here it is.

Some years back I ended up doing work for this guy I'll call Dick. It was just a side job for extra money, not my career or anything. Dick had a small business, it's boring, I won't get into any of that. Before me he had one other employee so I made two. Just two employees, that's how small a business it was.

The thing was, Dick ran his business like shit. I didn't know the specifics of his financial situation but based on where he lived, the car he drove, etc., he was doing pretty well. Maybe it was inheritance or whatever, I didn't know. But his situation clearly wasn't due to this business, which again, he ran like shit.

In fact, he ran the business like such utter shit that after about six months after I started doing work for him, the business wasn't making money anymore. So instead of regular payments like usual, the other employee and I had to start asking where our money was before it showed up. Then the payments started getting more and more behind. Eventually I was owed around $500.

Then one day the other employee tells me "I'm done. He owes me like 5 grand and I'm not going to keep working for nothing." I was like whoa shit, because I had no idea he was owed that much. The trouble with pay clearly went back farther than I knew.

So Dick ended up coming to me and said "Look, I owe the other guy money and I need to pay him. Do you mind if I get him all paid up, which means I gotta hold off on your pay for a month or two. But once he's paid off I swear I'll make it all up to you." Because I'm a fucking idiot, and because I felt bad about the first employee who was a good dude, I said fine go ahead.

So I didn't get paid at all for a while, which upped my total owed to about $1500. Then eventually I heard from the other employee and he told me Dick finally paid him everything he was owed. Great, I thought, now it's my turn.

LOL.

A few weeks after I heard the other employee was paid up (which I only ever heard from him, never from Dick) Dick told me he was closing the business. Which didn't shock me at all, surely it had been losing money for quite a while. I go "OK, so where's my money?" and I told him exactly how much he owed me. I got back "uh... well... the thing is... I can't pay you now, but...".

This went on for a YEAR. I looked into what my steps were legally but I'd have had to file something in small claims court and it's only $1500, and having to get a lawyer would probably eat up most of it. So I just kept bugging Dick about the money. I was like "Hey, pay me $25 month, I don't care." But he wouldn't even do that. He told me about how he's gotta go through all this stuff to dissolve the business and everything, and he'll pay me he as soon as he can, and overall he just avoided taking any responsibility.

At one point he said something about how people were currently suing him (big shock) and he'd get me in contact with his lawyers if I wanted so my debt could be added in or something. I said "Fine, give me their names/numbers." He never did.

Eventually I realized that nothing was ever going to come of this and I was just gonna be out the money I was owed. But while I'd been doing the work for him, I had e-mailed back and forth with his wife maybe a dozen times. To this day I've never met his wife, never even spoken with her. Just communicated through e-mail and text.

But she seemed really nice and she'd told me something like "Dick won't tell you this, but he doesn't really know what he's doing with this business and I know you've been a big help." So I just got the idea that, you know what, this next e-mail I send Dick about trying to get my money, I'm gonna include his wife on it too. So she knows how much he sucks.

I heard back from her almost right away and she was like "I'm so sorry about this, please keep me posted on what happens." Then suddenly, magically, Dick started talking about working out a payment schedule. He started sending me $100 every month and the debt got down to $1000. I figured his wife must have got on his ass about it and I laughed to myself about how whipped ol' Dick was.

But then the money stopped coming again. The excuses started coming again. One day he told me that he was just going through a hard time financially right now, which I knew was bullshit. He still had the nice car, the nice house, etc. But it's not like I had a printout of his bank records I could call him out on.

On that exact same day he told me that though, I was watching the local pro team's baseball game later that night and who did I see but Dick. In great seats no less, 2nd row right down in front, just off to the right. Every time they zoomed in on a right handed batter, you could clearly see him. And this was in September in the midst of a playoff race so those tickets were not cheap. It's no Perry Mason moment, but the thought of replying to his "I'm having financial trouble" e-mail with a picture of him in those seats and me being like "Yeah, I can see that pffft" gave me a raging justice boner.

So I was looking for a good image of him to use, but every time I paused the video his face got somewhat out of focus. It was clearly him if you watched the video but I needed a still image that was also clearly him. Then in the 7th inning a foul ball got caught about two rows behind him and they zoomed in on that area of the crowd. And there was Dick clear as day, sitting with his wife. I'm thinking aha, I got you now muthafucka.

The next morning I replied to his prior message by sending that screen capture to him. I figured even if I didn't get my money, at least I had that one sweet moment of satisfaction of busting him there.

Then almost at the last second I decided to send it to his wife too, just so she knew what was going on and how the money had stopped again. And remembering how quickly Dick's tune had changed that first time I'd included her, I even thought that maybe her being in the picture would make her light an even hotter fire under his ass this time.

So I sent it but I didn't hear anything back from either of them. Two, three days went by and nothing. Then I heard from the other employee I'd worked with. He goes "You hear about Dick?" I said no, what? "His wife kicked him out and filed for divorce." I'm like ho-ley fuck, no way. "Yeah, apparently she caught him cheating on her."

I thought "Huh, I wonder how... hmm. HMM. You know what would be crazy? What if that wasn't his wife in that picture... and I sent her that picture... and... LOL, no. No way. He was probably talking about the divorce when he mentioned having financial trouble. That would make sense. The divorce was already in the works before the picture. Yeah. There's literally no chance whatsoever that I inadvertently told his wife he was cheating on her. LOL, I mean, come on. Right?"

Nope, that was literally what had happened. The woman at the game with him? Not his wife. Apparently his wife knew the woman though, and knew that Dick had lied about where he was that night and who he was with. And a shit storm of epic proportions quickly followed.

I ended up e-mailing her not long after and being like "Um, hello there, I've been hearing some things and I can't help thinking that picture I sent might have been part of this?" And she said she'd been meaning to contact me, she thanked me, said she'd wanted out of the marriage anyway, and said she might need me as a witness. I didn't know what for, are divorces like trials?

But anyway, she paid me the $1000 he owed me, plus another $500 on top. I don't know if she thought he still owed me $1500 or if she purposely gave me extra. And I didn't have to be a witness for anything, which was good.

Also, Dick's nice car and nice house and all? His wife was the one with the money. Meaning that he no longer has it. They got divorced and he moved away and I have no idea what became of him.

Honestly, considering everything that happened, I feel kinda bad for him. But then I remember there's no reason he couldn't have just paid me. Seriously, why not just pay? He had the money. I just chalk it up to Dick having a lot of negative karma coming his way and I played a part in it catching up with him.

TL;DR: I sent my deadbeat ex-boss (and his wife) a picture of himself in great seats at a sports game to disprove his claim that he had financial problems and that's why he couldn't pay me. He was with a woman who was not his wife. His wife went APE, son.

(source) story by (/u/BartolosSweatSocks)

[mrpenguinpants]

BNHA Monster AU aka Chisaki/Overhaul is a really bad vampire that doesn’t know how to do his job HC

I guess this is a series now. It’s actually really hard to think these up surprisingly. Or I’m just picky. Probably that. Anyways

Vampire: One whom drinks the blood of others, be it animal or human. Not to be confused with cannibalism or sarcophagy as no tissue is consumed.

It’s not that Chisaki is bad at being a vampire. He has the intimidation going for him. But..he can’t stand the process of drinking blood. Blood is fine. No worries. But the thought of sinking his fangs into something, usually unwillingly, as they squirm or fight him off it always gets messy. He may be a vampire but he’s germophobic. Imagining the blood getting on his skin and clothes makes his skin crawl. 

His best bet is to just waltz into a hospital and get a couple blood bags. Except, he doesn’t like drinking blood from a bag. Who knows what it has touched. Being extracted by needles and all. He knows that everything SHOULD be clean but it still makes his skin crawl. 

Plus, he’s picky. He wants it from the source but he can’t exactly walk up to a stranger and say “Hey, I’m a vampire but I hate getting blood on me. So could you do me a solid and just hold still as I suck your blood out and hopefully not kill you?”

Chisaki will NEVER drink from animals. The only animals he can find are rats and stray pets and he is NOT going to put his mouth ANYWHERE near them. Unless Hari is force feeding him he’s not going to do it even if it kills him. Which it will. 

So count his fucking blessing when he finds you. He honestly doesn’t know where you came from or how idiotic you are. He’s just happy he can finally get a decent drink without breaking out in hives each time. 

He had met you when he went feral from not drinking for so long. You had passed him as he was huddled in an alleyway growling and spazzing out. You thought he was having a seizure so you quickly ran over to see if he was okay pulling your phone out to call an ambulance (don’t @ me on the details) only to have him pounce on you and bite your neck drinking until you passed out. 

You woke up later in a strange room to see the same man in the alleyway explain to you he was a vampire and he apologized for his behavior and how he almost killed you as if you and he were at a meeting. He didn’t even look sorry in the least bit. 

Being the sensible person you were, you fainted. You woke up an hour later to a displeased Chisaki. After you calmed down and got over the whole vampire thing you asked him why he was stuck in an alleyway looking as if he was in pain.

“To put it simply. I don’t like drinking blood. It’s messy and I hate being dirty.” 

The look on your face just screamed: “Are you fucking kidding me?”. That prompted you asking if he wanted to just drink from you. He was surprised. Just like that? You explained that you rather not see someone else be attacked and almost killed that didn’t have the same “stable” mental state as you. 

So that leads to you and Chisaki forming a weird relationship. He would message you or come to you. Drink your blood until you told him to stop so he didn’t suck you dry. Then he would go home and you wouldn’t see each other until the time he needed blood. 

You never asked and he never demanded. You stayed out of his life and he stayed out of yours. It was quick and easy. 

You know I’m lying, right? While he didn’t directly affect your life, his status and who he was sure did. He was a motherfuckin vampire and the leader of the yakuza. When people found out that the vampire Chisaki was visiting a human the entire supernatural race blew up. 

So to your surprise when you get a knock on your door at 3 in the goddamn morning, you tiredly look through the peephole to see a group of people you didn’t know. 

Now you were awake. You silently crept away from the door pretending that you were still asleep as the knocks became pounds. You quickly fled to your room to grab your phone and call Chisaki. He was a vampire and they don’t sleep anyways. 

“Y/n? Why are you calling me?” 

“Look, I know we had a whole conversation, on the whole, don’t call me business. But there’s a couple guys at my door trying to break in and I’m 99.9% sure this has something to do with you.”

“That is your problem, now don’t call me.”

The fucking nerve of this guy. He wasn’t helping. Okay Plan B: Girl power. You held the phone using your shoulder as you tried to open your window. Fuck, you lived on the second story and while the fall wouldn’t kill you, it sure as hell would hurt. 

“Excuse you “that is your problem” bullshit. If I didn’t come by and try and help your sorry ass you would have been back to finding things to drink and I wouldn’t be stuck in this mess!” 

You never got to hear Chisaki’s response because the door to your room got kicked open. Your phone fell from your shoulder as you spun around to see the same group of guys that were at your door.

"Now. Now. We just want to talk to you. There's no reason for us to do anything rash."

Well. It was now or never. You flipped them off and jumped out your window bracing for the impact.

Only to feel arms wrap around you as your fall was cushioned to see Chisaki peering down at you holding you in his arms

"C-Chisaki? What are you doing here?"

"Did you not say someone was trying to break in?"

"But you said that it was my problem...I thought you were gonna let me die"

"I was already on my way as soon as you called me. My enemies tend to track my calls and what I say. It was for your safety."

"Oh. Okay aha. You scared me.."

Chisaki blinked. There it was again. The same feeling he gets when he drinks blood. The rush of euphoria. He knew what it was and deep down he was scared. He was a vampire. He's had his fair share of lovers. Each of them either leaving him or dying because of him being a vampire. 

“Y/n. Are you a virgin?”

“Excuse me what?” 

“If I drink the blood of a virgin I can turn them into a vampire.”

“Okay first of, we need to seriously upgrade your vocab. Second, I am not in the market to be a bloodsucker.” 

“That’s alright. I can wait for you to be ready. Anyways, I should deal with your break-ins.” 

Chisaki slowly lowered you onto your feet before cracking his neck before turning back to you

“Oh, and I’ve already made arrangements for you to live with me. I want my future bride to be comfortable with her living space.” 

And with that, he jumped up and climbed into your window and proceeded to beat the ever loving shit out of your- wait 

“WE ARE NOT IN THE 1600′S YOU CAN DO THAT CHISAKI!!”

[thatshortdudety]

Types of Ravenclaws - Nicholas Black

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=usDdoAXxk_c

The Stereotype

Raven Qualifications: love knowledge, kind of witty

- Whenever they are around, people run

- They are insufferable

- They're just annoying in general and constantly act like they're better than you

- At least one or two of them exist

- You may not find them very often but when you do... you know

- They're the type of person that will debate you until one of you dies, so just give up and let them think that they are right, because it's just not worth it. Just fuckin leave

- The assholes in social media comments that start their comments with 'uM aCtuALLy' and like 'sOurCeS'

- Elitism is so thick that they might as well be in Slytherin

- They love knowledge so they are actually pretty smart

- They have some wit, but no wisdom or creativity

- They get really good grades, so teachers have a love-hate relationship with them as they're a know-it-all but make the class look better

- Usually in the library studying

- Makes you feel stupid in .3 seconds

- They probably drink tea and write Shakespearean lit in their own time [like fucking nerds]

- the LEAST RAVENCLAW Ravenclaw in the tower

The Weird One

Raven Qualifications: Intelligent, wise, creative, original, individual, acceptance

- Basically Luna Lovegood

- They're weird and you know it

- Tend to be obsessive over a few particular topics, eg. if they love crocodiles and you ask them a questions about crocodiles they will whip out an encyclopaedia from their pocket [and you wonder how it fit in there in the first place then you remember you're a wizard]

- They have porcupine teeth under their bed and you don't know why. Nobody knows why, all we know is that we live in fear

- They're the person you call when you know you are being haunted. They know about that spiritual shit. They have the sage ready, they know how to relieve you of your demons [basically if you have a ghostie problem, they gotchu bitch]

- They talk very rarely, but when they do, they either sound like a wise monk or a crackhead... or both [and that, my friends, is entertaining]

- They are divination experts [fuck you, Hermione, they know your future, whatchu gonna do about it]

- They have an ongoing "experiment" since like the first day they were at Hogwarts, and everybody knows there is an experiment, but nobody knows what it is [so the Ravenclaw power lives in fear. The Gryffindor tower should also live in fear, but those fucks aren't scared of anything so like honestly fuck 'em]

- They're like Socrates, sometimes, they're basically like "I know that I know nothing," all humbly-wise like that [and you're like "huh that's why you're a ravenclaw hm ok"]

- Despite having no social skills and scaring everyone shitless all the time, these Ravenclaws are the most mindful and spiritual, most open Ravenclaws

- They accept any theory or idea because "fuck it, we know nothing and anything could be real"

- Scary but pretty cool

The Mum

Raven Qualifications: Intelligence, WIT, wisdom, creativity, originality, SHARPNESS, ACCEPTANCE

- Has a first aid kit on hand and knows how to use it. Basically a doctor. Didn't go to med school, but they know their shit.

- Has a remedy for every illness. Pretty sure they're not allowed to have a potions cabinet in their dormitory, but Flitwick allows it, and so they've just got med potions in the dormitory [even though we have... a-uei- even though we have a hospital wing]

- The best advice giver in both complicated and stupid situations. They will give you some fucking common sense, they will spell it out for you

- NUMBER ONE Ravenclaw

- eg. If you have a boyfriend who has cheated on you multiple times and you ask them for advice they will look you straight in the eye and say "BITCH you deserve better, break up with that hoe" and you should probably listen to them because most everything they say is correct

- They will not tolerate stupidity [she will not tolerate your stupidity, richard, get out of the damn tree]

- They read the entire unabridged Lord of the Rings to their children, A.K.A. first year Ravenclaws and all Hufflepuffs

- The voice of reason [please just listen to her it.. it's all i ask.. please she's right, don't... don't question it]

- Knows all the answers to your homework assignment and knows how to effectively teach it to you [but fuck off dan she will not do your homework for you.. not again]

- If you get into some stupid shit, they'll say 'I told you so' and continue to fix your shit like a GODDESS [honestly she needs more love]

- Breaks up fights and sends people to their rooms. They're not having your bullshit.

- Such a smart person! eg. amazing war strategist [she-she knows. She knows all manipulation tactics, sh-she knows how to get her shit done, she is the strategist of the century, i swear]

The Artist

Raven qualifications: Intelligence, WIT, wisdom, CREATIVITY, originality, INDIVIDUALITY, sharpness, acceptance

- They're probably on Tumblr. That's just how it is.

- They don't give two shits about grades. The school system is rIgGeD............. okAy maybe they do care a little bit, but they'd DIE before they'd admit it

- They're an ex Emo and an activist

- They like politics

- They are the second debater in the house. For the love of god, don't put them in the same room as the Stereotype. Do you wanna fucking die? [i mean i do too, carol, but not now. It is unstoppable force vs immovable object, do you want to explode? didn't think so]

- They're either a music, theatre or art nerd... or possible poetry if you're.. that bitch. [but um if you don't know the difference between a play and a musical, we're judging you- WE'RE JUDGING YOU SEVERELY it's not that difficult i know what a fucking touch-down is]

- They're probably a communist, socialist, anarchist because fUCK CAPITALISM HELL

- Music and art is subJECTIVE YOU CANNOT TEACH IT, KAREN [and that's when the Stereotype walks in and starts a debate on that]

- They're pretty depressed

- They like musicals

- They have an aesthetic Instagram but all the captions are like 'aha lmao i wanna fucking die' and 'i crave death'

- Not gonna lie they cry after a debate even though they started it

- They have high standards that they don't meet themselves

The Bookworm

Raven Qualifications: INTELLIGENCE, wit, wisdom, CREATIVITY, originality, individuality, ACCEPTANCE

- They're kind of like a stereotype too, but they're the good stereotype

- They're like, the chill

- They're only passionate about like books and shit, so if you wanna have a 24 hour conversation with them, just bring up their favourite book series and they won't let you go

- They have a very popular fanfiction account. They are a veteran stan that wrote a 300k word fanfiction that is a STAPLE in the community. They are the fandom's mum

- They have like 30 books to read but for some reason they just read Junie B. Jones again. For the 5th time.

- They're very kind, usually patient, the most empathetic [other than maybe the Mum in the house]

- They do tend to be alone most of the time

- They have an internal debate on whether or not they should focus on their grades or read the 30 books they have to read [they.. somehow... do it both. um... i hate you]

- They're usually friends with the Mum Ravenclaw, they're like the parents of the house. Without them somebody might mysteriously disappear, or like, die [the weird one hasn't come back for three weeks send help]

The Junkie

Raven Characteristics: Wit, creativity, ORIGINALITY, individuality, acceptance

- [i know what you're thinking: 'come on nick, ravenclaws are smart, they wouldn't do drugs!'..... that's where you're wrong, bitch. they would do drugs.. but only the smart drugs. only the safe drugs]

- They only do marijuana. They don't even do any other drugs, and when they DO marijuana, they eat it in a pot brownie so that they don't get cancer from smoking it [like, they're pussies basically, i'm sorrty but]

- Okay, I take it back, they might do LSD once because the Weird One told them that they'd "see god" on LSD, but they'll never do it again cos it was a bad trip and probably killed some of their braincells, so they're a little overce

- They're anti-capitalist, but they never specify what their political and economic beliefs are, so they just kinda say 'fuck capitalism' then they go to bed high as Snoop Dog

- Usually friends with the Weird One [...i'm scared all the time]

- They're high all the time, but they never get caught because they're a Ravenclaw, and Ravenclaws don't get caught [take notes, Slytherin]

- They once woke up with a surrealist painting in one hand and the communist manifesto in the other... they don't know what happened the night before, but they got rid of the evidence real fuckin quick because you can't be too safe

- They claim to be Buddhist and trying to find the real meaning of life, but like they don't practice Buddhism really well.. they-aie- I think they're just doing it for the aesthetic, they know a lot about Buddhism they just don't practice it very well

- They're trying to open their third eye. [none of us want them to. their two eyes are problematic enough, we don't need them to have a third

[cruddyborderlandstheories]

Okay so I wanted to make a seperate post about this because it’s got me like  🤔 but i didn’t wanna get too off topic with my answer. context? The wonderful @luxury-of-insanity asked me to take a look at a pic of Tyreen he took during the We are Mayhem trailer. Here is the screencap he took for reference (because it’s infinitely higher quality than any of the ones I would take aha)

The topic was Ty’s tattoos and I noticed something really, really interesting here that I didn’t pick up on from the cosplay guide (like they were deliberately not showing where her tattoos end)

her tattoos stop before her shirt

she is clipping thru her jacket a little bit here lol but the point is, that big tattoo bit just cuts off before it goes under her shirt. Just like Troy’s don’t go down his abdomen

Now as I understand it there are a couple reasons why this could be:

there is an awesome theory that Siren tattoos get bigger and more expansive the more powerful (and, usually, the older, im guessing) a Siren gets

Ty has unique tattoos like her brother, where they are different because they’re twins (? or something??)

Ty got her powers from a non-natural source- eg she isn’t a natural/normal Siren

The tattoos are fake and the source of her succ power is something else entirely

idk what the right answer is, but I'm gonna try to go through these 1 by 1. the first one has been talked about in depth a lot (on this blog) so i won’t be addressing it here, but the others i’ll try to talk more about!

minor commander lilith spoilers below the cut

so before we begin, i just want to point this out. All theories aside and looking at the facts: every Siren we know of at least has chest tattoos. Barring Angel, because we can’t see, every known Siren has tattoos that extend down her torso.

At the moment, Tyreen is super covered up. Unlike Troy, we never see anything except her arms/head/parts of her thigh. We don’t know if her tattoos extend beyond her shoulder/arm. Personally? I wouldn’t be surprised if they don’t. Amara has her hip tattoos, but no leg tattoos, like Tyreen has no leg tattoos (you can see through the gaps in her pants)

it’s possible that Lilith is the exception (for any of the theories discussed) and the tattoos don’t normally extend down their left legs. We just don’t know for certain. I do think it’s interesting how covered up Ty is in general, considering every Siren we’ve met so far at the very least has shown off their chest/neck tattoos. 

Ty has unique arm-only tattoos like her brother, where they are different because they’re twins

Sooo the unique arm-only tattoos one. Not really much to say about this tbh? We know Troy’s tattoos 100% do not go further down his abdomen. 

Timeline wise, I really don’t think he gets the tattoos after Lily has her powers stolen, but I can’t say for certain. 

If it’s the case that his tattoos are 100% based off Lilith’s powers then idk if Ty having only arm tattoos would make sense. Maybe it’s because they’re being filtered through her powers that he only gets arm tattoos and not full tattoos? Maybe bc they are twins, Ty’s powers got split in the womb (explaining the only-arm tattoos) or whatever and they needed other powers to awaken (or heal, cause apparently he’s sick- that could be the tattoos) Troy’s or some shit. idk, just spitballing here. 

But yeah, looking at Troy’s tattoos and the way they don’t go down his abdomen, beyond his shoulder area, I wouldn’t be surprised if Ty’s don’t, either.

Moving on from that one mainly because I don’t have a lot to say due to lack of evidence/info on it lol

Ty got her powers from a non-natural source- eg she isn’t a natural/normal Siren

This theory i am a fan of and y’all know it lmao

There’s a bunch of ways this could have happened: they’re products of experimentation, maybe they met an alien that gave them the powers, it’s the product of a Vault (possibly the red Vault we see in the HBC).

For the first one, it’s possible it was a corporation, be it Maliwan/Atlas/Jakobs/Hyperion/etc. Maliwan and Atlas would be my first guesses, Atlas for reasons you guys already know and Maliwan because of their elemental focus (and for some reason being on Athenas/having Amara’s tattoos on a building in the Academic District?). Hyperion is also a strong contender because of their research with Angel, though I don’t know about this one... We know they’re under new ownership, and I can’t imagine Jack would’ve captured Lilith/been so protective of Angel if he knew he had another Siren. So I guess it’s possible they were created within the 7 years between bl2 and bl3... Jakobs I threw in cause they’re apparently having a hold on the story of Eden-6. Doubt it’s them, though. If it is i’m gonna be questioning everything i know lol

It could’ve also been Tannis, as we know she’s experimenting on Lilith and [Spoilers!] now has all of Jack’s research on Angel. I have been looking all throughout the Backburner but can’t figure out where she had been staying, so it’s possible she is staying somewhere off base until her and the other Crimson Raiders take to space. That would definitely give her some room to start some funky experiments. Though I am curious where she’d get the test subjects. Also, I just realized it’s possible she could set up a room like control core angel in order to capture the twins/Tyreen. I’ve seen it being discussed that she could also create the collar Jack made which has me like 👀. She could’ve also done her experiments between bl1 and bl2, which leaves her with 3ish years iirc. Though I don’t think she has a lot of info on Lilith before bl2.

It ALSO could’ve been a totally new outside force. Kinda would suck cause all the theories haha, but hey, it might happen. 

Oh part 2. It could’ve been some alien bullshit giving Ty Siren powers (not that... siren powers AREN’T alien bullshit already, but you know what I mean). We still don’t know what the Seraphs are, yet we’re supposed to fear their return. Well we know they’re able to create the Seraph Guardians (that drop Seraph Crystals), so maybe those were them experimenting with creating their own version of Sirens? Or maybe a rogue Eridian/Guardian (a smart one like the Watcher) giving out Siren powers to offset the balance of the universe (6 Sirens) for some reason (war is coming? maybe it’s a civil war between the Eridians). Or some new type of alien. We’ve seen so many new flora/fauna in bl3, I wouldn’t be surprised if they introduced a new race of aliens as well. (in this context I mean alien like... intelligent ones. at least on the rank of human. probably more tho, let’s be real). I also am looking at those demon dragon looking things, idk they seem really unique and I’m super curious to see how they come to play in the story. I wouldn’t be surprised if they were a product of an experiment as well. They seem to be inside an Eridian temple tho (I will make a post on this later prob)

part 3. kind of a play off part 2 but whatever. The tattoos came from a Vault. we see in the HBC wall art that looks like the twins opening a red Vault. I think this may be propaganda art and that it’s just part of the believer’s stuff, like “join our cause and this will happen!” as it shows the twins with boxes of food and guns and shit, but it’s possible that they’ve already opened it. Maybe Tyreen wants to absorb the powers of the other Vault Monsters because she thinks that will help her Vault-gifted powers grow stronger. We know as outsiders that all the Vaults lead to a huge power (Hector and also the website used to say “Universe-destroying power”), so maybe that power is super strong Siren powers? (full body tattoos hell yeah) Or can only be opened by all the Siren powers as a failsafe and that’s why Ty absorbed Lily’s... idk lol

Okay and my favorite one of all of the options we have:

The tattoos are fake and the source of her succ power is something else entirely

so. okay hear me out. I know her tattoos look like they’re glowing under the surface, but they’re super ‘perfect’ looking compared to the other Siren tattoos we’ve seen. Could also be a reason they’re products of an experiment, maybe these two theories tie together. (lol) My friend (@bonelesspotter​) also pointed out that it’s possible to use jellyfish to make cats glow in the dark. anyway. They also don’t seem to glow when she’s using her powers (which are black and red/orange instead of the normal purple/blue??) (also thank you for allowing me to see this @luxury-of-insanity) 

I made a post about the tattoos being fake as sort of a joke, where they saw how Lilith had a cult as the Firehawk (Ty does tell us to thank Lily for the ‘Firehawk’ powers) and decided to masquerade as Siren(s?) in order to build their cult up.

and it is slowly, slowly, looking more and more like the truth the more we learn about Ty lmao

I am gonna posit the idea that it’s not her tattoos that give her powers, but some other sort of technology.

possibly? hidden inside her glove??? idk

idk it just seems to clunky and BIG 

seriously, this thing is thicc, i could totally see some sort of drainage tech being hidden inside. I know Moxxi’s weapons have a lifesteal component, as do transfusion grenades, so it could be based off that. I point this out mainly bc Troy is a smart boy, it’s possible he built her something so they could pretend they were twin gods. Maybe his sword/mechanical arm will do something similar/give him his own set of ‘powers’? Or maybe those screws in his left arm could also do it, too.

idk, this is all me just speculating. I will not be surprised if she is an actual Siren, I just like being extra when it comes to theorycrafting. don’t have much to do for uhhh 90 more days, sooooo

i am also curious if her powers have something to do with the tablets with the crystals coming out of them considering her lifeforce suck makes statues with eridium-like crystals coming out of them

... maybe not. different shapes and all.

are they even the same ones as the ones on promethea?

hmmmmmmmmmmmm

i do think there’s something on that tablet(?) on eden-6 that we gotta uncover by breaking the purple crystals cause when moze does it she uses a special melee tool and breaking them doesn’t add anything to her inventory.

“let’s free you up”

but that’s getting wayyyy off topic. that’s all i got for tyreen today

byeeee

[letstalksymphogear]

Symphogear, EP. 5 (Cont.)

Tsubasa ruminates about her current situation in her Symphogear Brand Safety Capsule of Absolute Dunces.

“aight ive done seen the light lemme at that sweet, sweet taco bell”

Meanwhile, some old ass politicians rumble about Relics.

“im old.”

But they immediately get fucked up in a nasty car accident.

As it turns out, the Americans were waiting to intercept these old crones to steal The Goods.

And holy fuck are they are American. Personally, I feel the writers of Symphogear watched Die Hard and immediately went “these people are fucking animals”. That’s just me, though.

“ooh ouch oh mmm ouchie ouch oooo ouch”

They tear into these people with an almost machine like efficiency.

These people don’t fuck around. There’s a strange surreality around it given that this is honestly pretty accurate to how brutal special operatives can be, but the Japanese accent they have in their English voices is... a bit jarring.

“IM BACK FROM THE MALL, YA’LL”

“oh god she’s back”

“ah, ryoko. as per your lingo, quote, ‘i like your new gucci boots... bitch’ was that good? im not fond at cursing at women unless its a mutual training session”

Genjuro alerts that the Minister of Defense for Japan has just been assassinated.

“shits bad”

Conveniently... Ryoko’s phone was broken. In her defense, it’s 2012. Battery life didn’t have the bragging rights it had now for phone.

“i personally use a razer flip phone. those will never go out of style!”

Ryoko manages to show them the box the Americans were trying to get. Suspiciously...

There’s a bloodstain on it.

So the main struggle right now is that the Bad Guys(tm) want to get their hands on Durandal, which is a completed relic that is hidden away miles underneath the school in the 2nd Division Labs.

This musty, old, shitty sword has immense power. Almost Godlike.

“hey why dont we just use the sword to beat up the bad guys”

The sword was handed from the EU to Japan for Japan to safekeep, and in exchange to forgive some of the loans the EU owed Japan should the EU economy collapse.

How topical.

“i read a lot of beserk and honestly im pretty sure someone beats up the bad guys with that dumb sword”

“listen nerd, we’re not doing that dumb weeb anime shit. we’re taking this sword to a vault to the bottom of parliament.”

“thats right. who needs anime when you’ve got nicholas cage.”

And so, they plotted to deliver this dumb sword tomorrow.

Ryoko logs into Runescape.

Fun fact: Fulcanelli is a reference to this dude, who was a French alchemist whose identity nobody really knows. Alchemy is a concept that will come up during GX that has no relevance whatsoever during these first 2 seasons except in some passerby jargon. This as just a cute thing I wanted to point out.

You know, that’s a pretty sexy sword upon closer examination.

“thats the dark souls of swords”

“ah! a fellow gamer! im glad that you too partake of the souls of darkening. would you like to play a two player match somtime, fellow Gamer?”

“I would genuinely rather eat shit for the rest of my life!”

The scene ends. Alright, where are n-

Oh God we’re back to this bullshit. Okay then.

Miku, reasonably, is upset that her wife is gone for several hours for increasingly sketchy reasons. Much like an estranged wife going to see her “tennis instructor” for “private tennis lessons” in the “safety of their house, which has a tennis court”, Miku is worried that Hibiki is a liar liar, pants on fire.

Nose the size of a wire.

Hibiki, feeling the fear of God, quickly bails this increasingly tense situation.

Miku is suffering, and so am I with this hamfisted writing.

“you didnt even try the cookies i made out of frustration for you. i designed them all after me with increasingly angrier faces”

“im too young for a divorce. fuck, those cookies smelled good”

Hibiki decides to not sweat it anymore, opening a magazine and WHOA WHAT THE FUCK

WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS I DONT REMEMBER THIS WHEN DID HIBIKI GET HER HANDS ON THIS OH MY GOD

“HELL NO IM MARRIED THE DEVIL CANNOT TEMPT ME”

Hibiki closes it up to reveal the relevant part of this magazine.

This is subtle, but it’s basically a vehicle to explain how things are covered up for Symphogears. Ogawa walks in, talking about how this headline was his doing.

“i wasn’t joking when i said we were literally the NSA”

Hibiki is happy that Tsubasa has been freed from Metaphor Limbo, having escaped the Water Metaphor Dimension back into real life.

“she literally wont stop talking about taco bell and honestly its killing me inside”

“shit ill get her some”

Ogawa does some schpiel about teamwork and asks Hibiki for an idea on what to do with Tsubasas image even though he’s supposed to be the manager and it’s just general prattle.

Everyone gets briefed about the delivery. Ryoko’s soccer mom van sticks out like a sore thumb. Nobody on the Lydian campus asks why there are 5 cars outside the building with men in suits and fucking Hibiki standing there with them why are these children so fucking incurious.

“this feels like the world’s most important weed delivery, but im going to deliver the SHIT out of that weed”

“hibiki please its not weed”

“ALRIGHT FAM LETS DELIVER THE SHIT OUT OF THIS WEED”

Big thick black cars surround Ryoko’s tiny vehicle as they all drive in unison to the drop point.

No fucking around here. The weed must be delivered.

The weed? Secured as shit.

“its not fucking weed it’s a goddamned french sword okay god”

“ROAD’S LOOKIN’ A-OKAY FOR OUR WEEEED DRIIIIIIVE”

PSYCHE, NO IT AINT. ROAD’S CRACKING UP HARD. COMES APART, CAR FUCKING EXPLODES!

“oh my god we seriously arent fucking around here those guys are fucking dead”

“bruh you never delivered weed before? that shit happens all the time”

“anyway grab on to something ‘cause we’re gonna initial d this shit”

“i thought we were delivering WEED not SUSHI”

“WEED... SUSHI... IT’S ALL FUCKING METAPHORS, HIBIKI. AND WE’RE GONNA DELIVER EM!”

“now ORDER UP, MOTHERFUCKER”

Every car is destroyed.

Ryoko flips the car like nobody’s business.

“ryoko! the kansai drift was too strong!”

“your delivery’s late, pal. that’s gonna have to come out of your tip.”

“jokes on you! you already paid the tip beforehand online!”

“oh, we’re going with pizza jokes now? is that what we’re doing? yeah, sure, whatever”

Unfortunately, Chris ordered her pizza with meat, extra crispy.

“FUCK, i cant see anything. now i don’t know if they have the weed- i mean, the sushi- er, the pizza- god i hate all these JOKES”

RYOKO SUMMONS A FUCKING SHIELD OUTTA NOWHERE WHILE HIBIKI’S KNOCKED OUT COLD

“yo hol’ up a moment did this pervert manage to summon a shield”

“are- are you able to fight the noise? are you fucking kidding me? this entire time when literal children were fighting these battles, you literally could have fought back effectively? are we but mere playthings to you? is this really the bullshit im seeing?”

“uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh i can only make shields. piss shields, out of piss”

“that is absolute fucking bullshit”

“but i believe it.”

Hibiki has primed her fists and is about to show how much she’s improved combat wise, which is actually a lot.

Nevermind, she tripped again. Turns out, Symphogears fight in heels constantly, which is absolutely fucking horrifying. Hibiki realizes this, and then

FUCKING BREAKS THE HEELS LIKE NOBODY’S BUSINESS.

AND THEN SHE WRECKS SHOP WITHOUT BREAKING A GODDAMN SWEAT

“oh shit how the fuck did she improve this quickly”

The suitcase where the sword is stored opens up. That means it’s activating.

Immediate fear.

“alright bruce lee you mightve mastered a thousand kicks but you better change your gameplan because im about to realign that pretty little face of yours”

“thank god you kicked me. needed you to get closer so i could kick your ass, after all”

The fucking suitcase, I shit you not, pops open immediately with the sword flipping to the sky like a bad Gmod toy as it suddenly stays floating, perfectly still.

“ive officially lost track on what the hell is happening”

The sword just floats there, as a sword does.

“you know how many fried turkeys i can cut open with that bad boy? that shits mine now.”

Chris goes to get it.

“fuck you! im going to slice HONEYBAKED HAMS with that sword!”

Hibiki intercepts it and takes the sword.

Now Hibiki becomes a proud Stand owner, having acquired the power of The World and stopping time at will.

“oooooh holy shit”

Hibiki, now channeling the power of Durandal, feels the raw strength of a completed relic all through her body.

Real spicy stuff running through her veins.

The power unleashing itself into a raw stream of piss skyrocketing into the stratosphere.

“the pizza has been delivered... all according to plan...”

“...she was right. honeybaked ham was the superior meat to slice...”

Hibiki is channeling a power source so ancient, so powerful, that through using her as a conduit, the sword actually finishes itself into its full, completed form.

Holy shit, Hibiki.

Goddamn. That’s a really sexy sword, actually! Pretty nice...

...oh.

You’re not looking so hot, pal...

“why is it that every opponent of mine can literally asspull all this garbage and im stuck here looking like a bad kamen rider villian getting my ass kicked every time. its not fair.”

Ryoko looks extremely hyped for this event. Maybe a little too much so.

“MAN FUCK THIS NONSENSE IM PUTTING AN END TO THE SUPER SENTAI POWERUP”

“O-OH FUCK- uh, i didnt say that. totally swear. you uh, keep doing that. yeah. aha.”

“SLICED...”

“...HONEYBAKED...”

“oh god. oh god. im sorry. im sorry. im so sorry. oh fuck im so sorry. honeybaked ham is better. fuck turkeys. fuck drumlegs. fuck any sort of fried meat. honeybaked ham is better please im begging you dont vore me or slice me in half IM BEGGING YOU OH GOD”

“...HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAM!”

“ham..... mmmmm... honeybaked ham....”

“WHO YELLED ABOUT HAM? god, im hungry now.”

Hibiki wakes up from it all after passing out, expressing a power of magnitudes unheard of, as if it were all a bad dream.

“YEAH THATS RIGHT WE HAD TO DELIVER THE WEED PIZZA AND I WANTED HAM AND- THE SWORD, YEAH! THE SWORD!”

To her disappointment, amongst this wanton destruction, no ham was found. Ryoko clues her in that Hibiki just single handedly completed a relic, and though the entire place is a mess, the mission wasn’t a complete failure. They’ll just have to return the relic back to base, now the entire location is, conveniently, destroyed.

“yeah yeah. the weed made it. the sushi made it. the pizza made it. what didnt we deliver today?”

“...”

“singing really does make you hungry, huh?”