#speed dating meme

[lavender-crossing]

pour one out for my man boomer who is getting bro-zoned by beefcake teddy 😩🤧

[romantically-yours]

I just wanna go on dates with her

[gottaarc]

She's using a PowerPoint to spill tea to King

(Based off this meme because it's one of my favorite memes:)

[hellfrczencver]

"What's a 'speed date'?"

[5uptic]

when i tell you the whiplash i got

[kedreeva]

What on earth is going on in the Star Trek fandom today, it's like my dash exploded

lol 28 years ago today, the Star Trek Voyager episode "Threshold" aired. The premise of the episode was that humans cannot travel at or faster than warp 10, because if they do, they would be traveling at "infinite velocity" and would exist in all points of space time simultaneously. Tom Paris found a way to travel at this speed, and doing so accidentally hyper-evolved him and his captain (Janeway) into giant salamanders, whereupon they immediately reproduced and created 3 baby salamanders. They were then turned back into normal humans, and forced to leave their salamander babies on the planet they had escaped to.

The episode was long held as the worst star trek episode. Not just the worst Star Trek Voyager episode, but the worst episode, period, because it was extremely weird and people turning into salamanders greatly annoyed a lot of people who don't know what fun is. Tumblr, having discovered this episode like excavating an exciting fossil, has taken a shine to this episode and many people now produce art and memes and eat pepperoni pizza in celebration of its air date, mostly to annoy the episode's creator, as in a very Arthur Conan Doyle way, he hates this episode and wants it de-canonized.

Anyway, happy Threshold Day!

[moonbasetycho]

Tandy and Apple are acceptable answers as well.

[memedeutsch]

https://kekememes.de/picture/JRWbSu30A?s=u

[pha55ed]

I'm Stuck Forever By the Glue || F1

type :: fluff tw/cw :: none contains :: carlos, charles, lando, oscar, lewis summary :: sweet little things they do for you, because i lov fluff - inspo: glue song by beabadoobee

f1 masterlist || f2 masterlist || more here!

Carlos Sainz | 55

Although it's cheesy, Carlos loves you buy you flowers. All types of flowers in different colors, not just the same basic bouquet of roses over and over again. He even goes as far to research the meaning of a few flowers and then ask the florist to center the bouquet around that specific flower. He loves sending the flowers to your work, your house, or gifting them himself to you. Seeing your reaction and how your smile slowly forms from the flowers never gets old from him. If he could, he would plant an entire acre of flowers just to keep you smiling.

Charles Leclerc | 16

Music is surprisingly a pretty big inspiration in Charles life, it helps him during his toughest moments and happiest times. So it's no question that he has to dedicate something related to music to you: hence his pre-race ritual is to listen to a custom playlist he made. The playlist is filled with songs that remind him of you, from cheesy love songs, slow ballads, or even stupid joke songs. It doesn't matter, because it reminds him of you, his number #1 supporter.

Lando Norris | 04

This mf acts like he's going to war, but it's cute so you'll give him a pass. Despite it being against the FIA rules, he doesn't care, it's only against the rules if they find out. But, he has a small little photo of you that he put on his F1's car dashboard. It's small and hidden from his overhead camera, but it's in a perfect little spot for him to look at it while checking his gas and speed. He's so glad he has his helmet on, because every time he looks at that photo, he can't help but gush and smile. Once the race ends, he sneakily takes it off and puts it into his pocket. And then when it's race day again, he puts it back on with some tape. It's so DIY but who cares, he loves his girlfriend :))

Oscar Piastri | 81

Although he's not super up to date with recent trends, the second he saw this trend he couldn't help but join: the "I love my girlfriend" shirt trend. But the only issue is, he didn't want to buy it himself, he wanted YOU to gift it to him. Just like how girls want flowers but don't want to ask for flowers. So for weeks on end, he would subtly send you memes about it, how he thinks it's sooooo ugly and sooooo stupid (he's lying out of his ass). But once you gift him the "I love my girlfriend" shirt, he's wearing it nonstop. To bed, to the gym, to practice, fucking everywhere. He's like those nasty toddlers who bring their musty ass plushie everyone. But you can't help but smile every time he wears it, he's just so happy with it on. Not to mention you got him a small,,, in black,,,, so it's BASICALLY like a muscle tee... drooling omfg.

Lewis Hamilton | 44

Fashion is something Lewis is famous for, and there's no question as to why. He's one of the only people who serve cunt when it's race day, you'd think he's the owner of F1 because of how fancy he is. So, when you asked him to play Dress To Impress with you, he didn't even hesitate to join. He loves playing it with you, even playing on his own to grind for stars and money. But the only con is,,, he eats you the fuck up. Like, I'm not even joking... He bought VIP, custom makeup, ANDDDDD speed walking. Not only that, he knows how to layer his shit, add patterns, and even practices poses beforehand. But one of the cons of playing with him,,, if he doesn't win first he's such a baby.

"Did I not eat???? How tf did a faceless win?" "I dunno, baby." "Let's join a different server, they're rigging it."

f1 masterlist || f2 masterlist || more here!

[jakesangel]

jake as your boyfriend headcanons <3

loser boyfriend

⁃ jake's loves for physics is something you have always been fond for but u certainly wasn't ready w the amount of content he watches and MAKES you watche as well. he is a cutie n will make you a playlist to catch up on him or to watch together. he will be shy about it at first, but once he will feel secure enough or that ull give him enough reassurance, he will share it w u n hopes ull talk to him about it.

"omg y/n!! did you know that einstein has been proven wrong ?? apparently the speed of light isn't the fastest in the universe ??" he told you, buzzing of excitement. he is so excited you could see an imaginary tail waving n his puffy ears perking up. "omg what is it then ?", u ask smiling. "it's the quantum entanglement !!" he then went on and on about what quantum entanglement as if you could understand anything. but your boyfie is a cutie so you kiss him n let him be.

⁃ second thing jakes loves. legos. and it's his favorite kind of dates w you. either in his bedroom or in urs or even during ur picnics, u guys will alwasy make legos together. when he is on tour in the usa, he will go to the manufacturer and replicate the both of you in legos, your future ideal house and even add your pets :( you'll be making it together once he is back to your arms.

clingy boyfriend

⁃ he needs to see his pretty baby EVERYDAY, if not he will be calling u wayyy more or he will send u lots of voice messages n selfies.

⁃ he also needs his kisses n his hugs :( daily does of you or he can NOT fonction

⁃ when you guys are together his hands are alwasy on your waist or in the back jeans in the pocket because he is romantic like this ᵎ when u both are sitting, his hands can be on your lower back or your thigh. either way, he will be strocking the area lovingly

⁃ cuddles are also a must ! in the morning when you wake up together or at night before sleeping. but also when watching movies or eating. anytime n anywhere. even in front of the members. he loves u n he isn't shy to show off his pretty girl.

"let's eat on the couch baby, i want ur legs on you my lap ", he said taking his and your plates on his way to the living room. settles on couch, he takes ur legs to out them on his lap, kisses your temple and finally out his plate on ur leg so he can eat. "there we go, were lunch better like, no baby ?ᩚ "

⁃ he loves laying on ur chest, your hands in his hair or subbing his back. he would often fall asleep like this. he also likes laying his head on ur lap for the exact same reasons.

⁃ he would add kisses on u guys routine. like when brush ur teeth together he would kiss ur nose. or when u make breakfast ,he would come behind u and kiss ur shoulder and ur neck. kissing ur hand when eating together. kissing the top of your hair when u guys hugs, etc.

- talking about kisses, kisses w him are always different, you never know what to expect. they can be very passionate or full of love or teasing or filled w giggles.

scorpio boyfriend

⁃ as munch as he loves u wearing mini skirt, he can not let u go outside wearing this if he is not here. even his meme we ar won't allowed to this his heaven like gf. he can fight tho so he will let u go outside like that but by urself no.

- he isn't a controlling boyfriend but he won't like you going out w one guy, nor talking too much w them. he trust you but not men.

- because of that he can get a bit jealous, so if you both are in public and someone hits on you, trust me he will be making out right in front of the man.

down bad boyfriend

⁃ jake will be ur supporter #1, if he can he would be going out w ur face on his t-shirt. he also would want to participate in every event u have. your graduation, ur first day at work literally ANYTHING, he wants to be there for his baby.

⁃ evertime u would send a pic he would go feral, on text or irl, his friends are worried about you.

⁃ he will buy u everything u want n would go bankrupt for u. your eyes would linger on something for not even one second, it WILL be in ur hand few minutes later.

how to love jake VS how jake loves you hc

notes : it's my first time doing headcanons, please lemme kno what you think about and what other kind of boyfriend jake is ><

@imaluckygirl @luvj4key @heeseungswifefr @goldenretrieverjakezgirlbaby @jaeyunpinkyring

[leonsdoll]

MODERN!ELLIE HCS

warnings: none! bit of cursing:)

word count: 0.6k

notes: hai guys:3 here's some ellie hc's! kinda proofread !!

-used an iphone 6 till it completely died and then she couldn't decide what phone to get because she didn't want to get a "fancy" one. you had to drag her to Mediaworld because she was basically refusing even though she hadn't used a phone in almost a week😭 (she'd been having to use your phone)

-has about a thousand hoodies and wears three of them, she buys them everytime she goes to the mall but then she uses the ones she bought when she was a teen. she doesn't even notice if you're wearing one of her hoodies because she didn't even know she had it

-she has a clear phone case and the only thing in it is a polaroid of you guys on your first date:') she hasn't changed it since that day

-still wears the same converse she's had for god knows how long, and when you asked her if she wants a new pair for her birthday she looked at you with the nastiest side eye ever. she couldn't even think about changing the pair

-has a private Instagram where only friends follow because she's scared of other people commenting on her post, like what if they say something mean? or what if they flirt with her? so she keeps it private and post a story maybe once a month

-even through she's not on Instagram that much she is always on tiktok, like you'll wake up at four in the morning for some water, turn over and her phone is inches away from her face the screen lighting up her face.

'ellie go to bed!' you mumbled as you got up and rubbed your eyes

'babe look at this borzoi' she tapped your arm and you rolled your eyes

-expending on her interest with borzois, after they become a meme she's just completely obsessed over them, if you're out with her and you see one you bet she's running up to it and awkwardly asking if she could pet it and then pets and plays with it for 5 straight minutes making you stand by her apologizing to the owner for her taking so long

-popeyes lover !!!! if you don't know what to have for dinner she'll order pop eyes (without) your permission, and suddenly the bell will ring and she's speeding down the stairs and running back up with a huge bag and the cutest smile on her face

-okay so if u have a fyp like mine then you know about mulch, so I think her fyp is full of mulch and lobotomy videos, and sometimes while your having a nice moment she'll say

'ugh I am so full of joy and sandy loam'

you'll look at her with the most judgemental look ever and lightly punch her shoulder

-loves I mean LOVES dried apples, will munch on them for hours !! she sneaks them into movie theaters and basically annoys everyone in the room because she's so fucking loud. also loves dr.pepper ! if you'd give her a bag of dried apples and a can of dr.pepper she'd be the happiest girl on earth

-can't cook for shit, like it's actually scary, somehow she'll burn everything she puts on the stove or in the over, she either puts the heat too high or just forgets she has something cooking at all. but will put the most amount of effort in a date night dinner !

-sometimes if you're lucky she'll get sappy and serious, like you'll lay down on her and fall asleep and she'll whisper something like 'I'm gonna marry you one day' then she realized what she said and cringed at herself

[gracefireheart]

✨Here comes Team Fortress - Pokemon [Mystery Dungeon] Edition✨

'Aight, so, let's go over who is what and why I chose said pokemon for them;

Pyro - [shiny] Heatmor: This one was chosen from a poll I made, which had a few different fire type pokemon in it for, well, obvious reasons. And honestly, I'd say Heatmor was a pretty good choice in the end. Also, their ability would be Flash Fire :]

Demoman - Druddigon: I'm gonna be truthful. Originally, I thought "it would be cute if he was a Druddigon since it looked like the dragon on the Scottish flag :)." And then, way too late into the drawing, I remembered that the flag I was thinking about (that has a dragon) is Wales, not Scotland o(-( But I just said fuck it, let the man be a (imo) cool af dragon. Oh, and his ability would be Sheer Force.

Sniper - Inteleon: The most obv pick for him as 1. He has the Sniper ability. 2. He literally has a special move called "Snipe Shot". 3. Has a Gigantamax that has Inteleon high up on it's elongated tail, staring down at it's opponent with a water sniper harpoon thingy. And 4. Inteleon is lanky.

Heavy - [Regular] Ursaluna: It's a bear. It's big af at 2.4m tall (or 7'10"). And it has the ability Bulletproof :)

Scout - Grafaiai: I first looked after pokemon with high speed stats, noted some of them down, then spotted Grafaiai, which is a mischievous fella that does grafiti. And since I like the thought of Scout being a good artist (because of Expiration Date), I thought it would be neat. His ability would be Prankster.

Medic - [shiny] Togekiss: Mainly, I wanted to choose a fairy type pokemon for him 'cause of the old "dragon slayer memes" that went around when the fairy typing had been announced and was shown to be super effective against dragon type pokemon, which used to only be weak against other dragon types pokemon. That, and Togekiss kinda looks like a dove (even if it's supposed to be a plane? Apparently?) His ability would be Serene Grace.

Soldier - [shiny] Rampardos: Not gonna lie, I just thought this pokemon would fit him well. Sure, I wasn't able to put his soldier helmet on 'cause of how dumb this pokemon's head is, but I still thought it would fit him. His ability would either be Sheer Force or Mold Breaker.

Engineer - Raichu: Another one I did a poll for, and again, I liked the outcome :) Raichu just feels like a very Engineer pokemon.

Spy - Zoroark: The most obvious one of them all due to the ability unique to Zoroark, aka Illusion. There's not really anything else I can add onto this lol

[decolonize-the-everything]

"In 2014, when a federal court judge ruled that California’s administration of the death penalty was unconstitutional, Harris appealed the decision as state attorney general, arguing that it was “not supported by the law.”

Harris later said that she was obligated to defend capital punishment as the legal representative of the state. Many have pointed out that she was happy not to defend a constitutional ban on same-sex marriage that voters passed in Proposition 8 when it was challenged a year earlier. Harris’ response: She was merely reflecting the position of her client, Gov. Jerry Brown’s administration.

She also explained that the judge’s ruling, which held that the long delays between sentencing and execution in California amounted to “cruel and unusual punishment,” could be used to justify speeding up the state’s system of capital punishment" Calmatters

Her saying the wait times for death row should be shorter when her police are wrongfully convicting people is beyond simply justifying the death penalty and beyond inhumane.

But let's talk about:

That was 5 years ago. the children on this website had a better idea of gender and could probably school her Right Now. In 5 minutes. Literally what is her excuse, she's old enough to have grown up watching the trans and queer rights movements. Like??? Hello??

Her response:

I was, as you are rightly pointing out, the attorney general of California for two terms and I had a host of clients that I was obligated to defend and represent and I couldn’t fire my clients, and there are unfortunately situations that occurred where my clients took positions that were contrary to my beliefs,” Harris said.

[...] Harris said she takes responsibility for the litigation approach of her office because she was responsible as California attorney general. “But the bottom line is the buck stops with me, and I take full responsibility for what my office did,” Harris said.

Fine okay. Whatever... Right?

[...]But a series of briefs signed by Harris during her tenure as California attorney general made the opposite case. In one brief dated April 10, 2015, Harris and other state attorneys dismiss the importance of gender reassignment surgery in seeking to appeal a court order granting the procedure to transgender inmate Michelle-Lael Norsworthy. “Norsworthy has been treated for gender dysphoria for over 20 years, and there is no indication that her condition has somehow worsened to the point where she must obtain sex-reassignment surgery now rather than waiting until this case produces a final judgment on the merits,” the brief says.

?????!??!??!!!

Kamala is a law enforcement agent first and foremost. Then she is a politician.

She is NOT the girlboss queer ally that's gonna save everyone

If Republicans push through project 2025 legislation, you think this bootlicker nerd is gonna disobey the laws they put through? You think your cool girlboss memes will stop her from throwing you in one of her super progressive prison cells?

"I was just doing my job" was her excuse then just like it's the excuse of every cop who violates someone's rights. And that won't change. For her the system is always right, even when she knows it isn't.

Which in a lot ways makes her worse imo. She knows its fucked and she still signed up to do it anyway. Then lied & pretended to regret it.

“I never had a sense she was forward thinking or reforming,” said John Raphling, a bail reform advocate and senior researcher at Human Rights Watch who faced off against Harris’s state Justice Department as a criminal defense attorney.

“Bail reform is a trendy issue, and a lot of politicians are jumping on it and saying this is unfair. I don’t have any evidence that Harris was seeing that unfairness back when she was attorney general — but to her credit, we evolve, we learn, we see things.”

Dude said "maybe she grew up idk"

[...]Her office defended wrongful convictions, fighting to keep behind bars those who judges determined should go free. She refused to take a position on a pair of sentencing reform ballot measures, arguing she must remain neutral because her office was responsible for preparing ballot text.

[...]In response to critics who’ve pushed her to use her power in the courts to usher in change, she told The New York Times in 2016, “I have a client, I don’t get to choose my client.” APNews

So she's gonna do whatever the fuck the people paying her are telling her to and she made it very clear that her client was very much Not the people she was wrongfully incarcerating and trying to speedrun through death row.

And in that note: you may have heard about all her wrongful incarcerations. You may have seen liberals who "did their research" and found out it was "only 45" or some number like that

Ahahaha

....propaganda.

This is where that comes from.

One of Harris’s top deputies had emailed a colleague that a crime lab technician had become “increasingly UNDEPENDABLE for testimony.” Weeks later, the technician allegedly took home cocaine from the lab, possibly tainting evidence and raising concerns about hundreds of cases. Neither Harris nor the prosecutors working for her had informed defense attorneys of the problems — despite rules requiring such disclosure. Harris “failed to disclose information that clearly should have been disclosed,” Superior Court Judge Anne-Christine Massullo wrote in a scathing decision in May 2010. At first, Harris fought back. She blamed the police for failing to inform defense lawyers.

She blamed the cops LMAO

She estimated that only about 20 cases initially would be affected. And her office accused the judge of bias because Massullo’s husband was a defense lawyer.

But the turmoil increased. With the local criminal-justice system at risk of devolving into chaos, Harris took the extraordinary step of dismissing about 1,000 drug-related cases, including many in which convictions had been obtained and sentences were being served. WP

This mf had no idea what was going on cuz she was a shitty DA and panicked when being held accountable. Don't give her credit for that like it's a good thing.

The 20-50 number you're hearing from people who "fact-checked" are spreading misinfo and misleading propaganda. It was at least that many cases and at most it was so much that Kamala would rather overturn like a thousand of them.

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Another good article with sources linked through out, written by Lara Bazelon; law professor and the former director of the Loyola Law School Project for the Innocent in Los Angeles:

In conclusion:

ACAB includes "Top Cop" & former D.A Kamala Harris

[preeningpisces]

JJK Men & Their Love Languages

I’m of the belief everyone feels/gives love with all 5, but I'm picking their top ones for giving & receiving.

Includes: Choso, Geto, Gojo, Nanami and Toji

Let me know your thoughts 🩷

Below the cut! Pure fluff

Choso

Giving: Acts of Service

♡ Choso is fiercly protective and doting, it only makes sense that his way of expressing affection is doing everything he can to make your life better. Being loved by Choso is becoming a bit of a princess LOL he will offer to do just about everything for you. Oh, you forgot your phone in the other room? Sit back down he'll get it. You need to carry in groceries? Don't worry about it, he'll bring them all in and put them away. He feels the need to take care of the people he loves

Receiving: Physical Touch

♡ His body is brand new! Like Gojo he's touch-starved, but because it's all new to him it amazes him that you choose to be with him. Not just in the sexual way, but simply the act of hugging him, or playing with his hair makes him feel loved and cherished. Grounds him in his body. He can’t separate physical from emotional, sees them as one in the same when it comes to love & intimacy

Geto

Giving: Quality Time

♡ Making an effort to seek you out and spend time with you is a sign he’s into you, because he really enjoys his alone time! Love from him is taking time/effort to plan dates/hang outs, prioritizing you & not making you feel like you’re just getting his leftover time. It shows his attentiveness, that he knows what you enjoy doing. He isn’t the type that invites you over & just plays video games the whole time—he always has something in mind that you’ll both enjoy, even if it’s as simple as watching a show together. Or just something you enjoy! As long as it makes you happy

Receiving: Gift Giving

♡ I think this one might come as a shock but hear me out. Gifts don't have to be bought, they can be as simple as seeing a cool rock and giving it to your partner. For Geto the reminder that you're thinking about him when he's not around, and that you know what he likes makes him feel loved. Honestly, non-material things are usually more his speed. Sending song recs, funny memes, sending updates about your day, facts you think he'll find cool, etc. He’s very considerate & observant of the ppl he loves, having it reciprocated means a lot to him

Gojo

Giving: Physical Touch

♡ Physical touch doesn’t equal sex. For Gojo, being in love means being vulnerable, and allowing himself to turn off limitless. Because he has so much space between him and the world, he’s pretty touch-starved, and is almost clingy with you. Always wants a hand or arm around you, cuddling, etc. Gojo is kind of emotionally constipated, so he's better at expressing affection physically than verbally. Childish in the way he likes to pester you affectionately, like poking or pinching you. Prepare for bear hugs where he squeezes the shit out of you

Receiving: Quality Tme

♡ Gojo is a living legend, it's almost like the name Satoru Gojo doesn't even refer to him as a person anymore--just the Strongest. Because of this, Gojo feels loved when you see him for him, and want to spend time with him because you like him for just being Satoru. Inviting him over to watch a movie, or hell, just play on your phones in each others presence makes him feel wanted. It’s his presence you want, not his name

Nanami

Giving: Gift giving

♡ You know he fucks w/ you if he’s spending his $$ on you. He shows his love quietly, and through his actions. Love from him is picking up your favorite pastry when he gets bread for himself, buying the shirt you pointed out in the window shop & surprising you with it; he doesn’t make a show of giving it to you, instead he’ll just leave it folded where you can find it. Secretly enjoys when you make a big deal about it tho. It shows he always has you on his mind, and pays attention to the things you like. He just likes to see you happy and smiling!

Receiving: Acts Of Service

♡ Nanami is the type to bear others’ burdens. We hear him say things like ‘leave it to me,’ ‘I’ll take care of it,’ etc. Someone who wants to take care of him makes his heart leap. Someone who is concerned about his wellbeing, and checks up on him. Someone who will offload some of his stress simply because they care, and aren’t looking for something in return. Knowing what he needs and how to help him without needing to be asked

Toji:

Giving: Acts of Service

♡ I’ve touched on this before but Toji takes care of you when he’s in love. Very passively, similar to Nanami, but I think he gets more embarrassed if you make a big deal of it. He’s the type to go put gas in your car for you, or wake up early to scrape the ice off your windows & shovel the driveway so you aren��t late for work.

Receiving: Words of Affirmation

♡ Toji was raised to believe he’s trash & not good enough, I think hearing encouragement & being appreciated verbally means a lot to him. Telling him you need and want him makes him feel loved. Not necessarily sappy things, more of appreciative commentary/observations if that makes sense—things that are grounded in reality. Saying he’s the moon to your stars or something isn’t going to mean shit to him. But telling him you couldn’t have done X without him? That’s what makes him feel loved. Lowkey has low self-esteem, pls tell this man he's means the world to you :(

[dxrksong]

Jason 13 au memes part two

Bruce: *slams a door on accident*

Batfam: you slam door on Brood? YOU SLAM DOOR ON BROOD LIKE GROUNDINGS???! OH!! OH JAIL FOR FATHER!!! JAIL FOR FATHER FOR 1000 YEARS!!!!

Jason 13, calling Danny on speed dial: JAIL FOR FATHER!!!!

-----------

Kitty:

Jason:

Kitty: YOU DIDN'T TELL ME YOU WERE BUILT LIKE A BRICK HOUSE!!!!!

Jason: to be fair, I forgot???

Kitty: speaking of which, hows that going out for you?

Jason: it's been....emotional.....not to mention the whord of shades trying to mother hen me 24/7

Kitty: I've been meaning to ask you about those.

Jason: I thought you wanted to talk about our relationship?

Kitty: we have communication rings, we can do that later. I'm more worried about the tall intimidating city spirit behind you.

Jason: oh that's just Gotham

Kitty:

Gotham: *tall black lady that can kick your ass* ;)

Kitty, sweating:

Jason: don't worry, she's nice. She's just a litte over protective of her kids.

Kitty: there's MORE of you????

----------

Kitty:

The batfam:

Kitty, surrounded by baby ghost cores like stray kittens: I don't know what's worse. How much they look like you or the inane urge to just adopt them all, oh nooooooooooo!!

Jason: now you know how it feels old man.

Bruce: *confused in bat*

--------------

Kitty:

Catwoman:

Kitty: crimes?

CatWoman: hell yes, kitten!

[LATER]

Jason: WHO THE FUCK DYED MY SUIT PINK?!?!?!

--------------

Kitty: you know considering my name it's a little odd that you're the one being all cat like.

Jason, laying his head on her lap while she cards through his hair: shut uuup, it's not like I can ask anyone else for attention like this. It'd be weeeeiiiird.

Kitty: *sighs* better hope you didn't leave your comm on.

Jason:

Kitty: Johnny.

Jason: I can't remember if I turned it off or not

Dick: you know little wing, if you wanted attention you could've just asked-

Jason: SHIT!!!!!!

---------------

Spectra: so are you still dating him or..?

Kitty: you know? We died basically around the same time and we were introduced to each other first before anyone else, so we kinda just stuck together. And really everyone had kinda just started calling us boyfriend and girlfriend, and we just didn't think otherwise to correct them.

Ember: wait, so you two HAVEN'T been dating??

Kitty: it was never official, if anything it was an ongoing bet to see how long it would last before people started to notice. We're more like.....siblings but not quite. Or emotional support ghosts for each other.

Spectra: that....actually makes a lot of sense. You two are hardly seen without the other and you haven't exactly been dead for long, so it would make sense you're still settling down from the trauma of dying.

Kitty: did you just psychoanalise me?!

Spectra: You basically gave it to me on a silver platter!! It's a force of habit!!!

--------------

Jason: hey squishy

Blob ghost in Johnny 13's bike: ?

Jason: think you can get this blob ghost out of my corpse-

Squishy: *Rev's backwards out of the bat cave*

Jason: ouch! Not even my own pet will help a zombie out.

------------

Danny: so how you feelin Jason?

Jason, sarcastically: oh just great, I've only had ONE murderous breakdown this week due to Zom!

Danny: Zom????

Jason: the blob ghost possessing me.

Danny: You named it????!

Jason: WHAT WAS I SUPPOSED TO DO?!?! IT'S A FREAKING BLOB GHOST, IT'S NOT LIKE IT HAD A NAME BEFORE!!!!!

Danny:

Jason:

Danny: I'm telling frostbite-

Jason: Don't you DARE!

--------------

Dick: Hey, Jason? Can you come over? I need your help.

Jason, muffled by a humming noise: sorry, I don't think that'll be possible at the moment?

Dick: what do you mean by that Jay, and what is that sound?

Jason, swallowed into the shadows and getting fussed over by the shades: would you believe me if I said I got readopted by shades?

Dick: U Wot?

---------------

Batman: Jason, what's this about shades adopting you??

Jason: look I didn't ask for it, it just happened.

Bruce: and are they....good? Parents?

Jason: well they like putting me in shadow jail alot.

Batman: Shadow jail?????

Jason: not to mention the constant babying-

Bruce: WHAT?!?!

Jason: ?! Jeez Bruce!! Wha-

Bruce: YOU LET THEM BABY YOU?!?!?!

Jason:

Bruce: I HAVENT BEEN ABLE TO DO THAT SINCE THE FIGHTING STARTED!!!!

Jason: .....are-are you JEALOUS?!

Bruce:

Bruce >:'(

--------------

Dick: ok, so to recap! *pulls out a projector and a Google slide document*

Dick: Jason got reanimated by something going awry and messing with reality, accidentally reviving Jason. *click* He gets scooped up by Talia and revives him fully. *click* this leaves him with powers and uncontrollable emotional problems *click* apparently he can talk to ghosts and they are often friendly to him back. *click* so much so, according to Jason himself, he has been adopted by the entirety of the ghost population in Gotham *click* including the SPIRIT of Gotham herself.

*it's a vague drawing of what Gotham looks like*

Dick: any questions?

Tim: yeah, uh. Who's that?

Danny: hi! :D

Dick: no clue, next question!

Danny: I'm phantom! I used to beat Jason up when he used to go by Johnny 13!

Batfam:

Cass: does the Lazarus pit taste like lemonade?

Dick: no, it tastes more like sprite.

Duke: wait-how do you-

Dick: NEXT QUESTION!

--------------

Jason, 'living on his own':

The Shades: :)

Squishy: :)

Gotham sometimes: :)

Kitty: :P

Danny: >:)

The various bird and/or bat: :)

Damien: :

Ember: lmao I'm the older one now! >:D

Spectra: (usually only when Kitty shows up)

Skulker: (target practice training) >:)

Technus: (built Johnny's bike believe it or not) >:)

The box ghost: (this man has dad energy, change my mind) >:)c

The lunch lady: (every growing ghost needs proper calories!) :)

Jason: ...............I need a bigger house....

-----------------

Batman steps into the batcave to see green fire everywhere, Jason in his ghost form, and Damien trying to stab him with a sword.

Damien: it was Todd's idea!

Jason: Damien, you fucking snitch!

Batman: language!

Damien: yeah Hood, watch your fucking language!

Batman: DAMIEN!

(Reference to this)

--------------

Jason: remind me why you're here again?

Danny: what? Like I can't visit my favorite Rouge?

Jason: I thought that was plasmius?

Danny: he's my arch nemesis, not a rouge! He doesn't count!

Jason: if you say so. But why am I your favorite, and I'm pretty sure I no longer qualify to be one of your rouges?

Danny: dude you're the only one I can have a serious conversation about! Vlad's a fruitloop!!

Jason: yeah but at least he knows what he's taking about half the time.

Danny: psh. 'Half the time'

Danny:

Danny: you can still turn into Johnny, right?

Jason: I mean if I concentrate real hard I guess? But it'll take a lot of energy.

Danny: wanna convince Vlad he's going insane?

Jason: only if I can record it.

Danny: DEAL!

[forgeofthenine]

Hello there :) I just want to say that I love all of your work so far, it’s absolutely amazing :) if it’s okay please could I request headcanons of the Bachelor’s having a crush on a shy and insecure non tiefling reader 💙💙

Thank you so much! ♥️♥️♥️ I'm sorry it took me a while to get to your headcanons, but I hope you enjoy them! I also just got a new phone, so any extra typos are bc this new keyboard is screwing me over lmao

The bachelors with a shy and insecure reader

Dammon

Easily one of the best love interests for someone that's shy or insecure

Dammon is great at slowly easing people out of their shell, he pushes without going to far

He has patience too, even if it takes months for you to have a full conversation with him

Really, the man just likes seeing you act all shy, the way you flush with embarrassment is endearing

And, while the fact you're a non tiefling gives him pause at first, it's not really an issue for him

If anything it just means you won't pick up on the way his tail wags-

Dammon is so sweet about your insecurities

Depending on what they are, he'll either help you reach your goals or assure you that your wonderful

Both even and possibly at the same time

He's so big on praise and there doesn't go a day where Dammon doesn't compliment you in some way

Everything Dammon says is so sweet and genuine too

Zevlor

This lovely paladin would suit someone shy and insecure

Zevlor himself is quiet and reserved, and has dealt with his own share of insecurities throughout his life

He can see it in the way you act, what's going through your head

There's no way you can hide things from him, after years of being a hellrider it makes you observant

The way Zevlors endlessly understanding is so sweet <3

If you need support or comfort in any way, he will always be there

Whether you need a hug or help fixing a problem

He never expects anything back, but seeing you open up to him is more than enough of a reward

You being a non tiefling doesn't bother Zevlor, I definitely think he's been with non tiefs before in the past

Like Dammon, he is also very patient

Despite his feelings, Zevlor will take your relationship at whatever speed you'd like

He's quite content being a close friend of yours and supporting you

Please just kiss Zevlor already, he'll die before making the first move

Rolan

Are you sure you want to try and date Rolan? 💀

We love him, but this man is a firecracker of a tiefling, he takes a while to adjust to

While he realises you're shy, it takes Cal and Lia pestering him before he stops his little angry outbursts

Instead he starts to become a lot more mindful about his voice, tone, and body language

This goes double when he realises his feelings for you

It's a noticeable change, particularly when you leave a room and the firecracker attitude is back

He's your hype squad too when you're feeling insecure

Rolan is both a proud man but he does worry about his abilities and how he stacks up

It's a perspective that helps him both understand your thoughts, and help you overcome negative thinking patterns

If he gets to spend time with his crush while he helps, then that's just a bonus

In the end, you and Rolan end up being like the 'they asked for no pickles' meme, if anyone knows what I'm talking about

It's honestly so cute seeing him pine over you while hyping you up in his own sassy way