#spine problems in uk

[kaijusmart]

WHY DO EUROPEANS MAKE THEIR BEDS OUT OF FUCKING CONCRETE

[messmersflame]

wanna help me and my cats out?

hi im neo, and those four are my cats.

being physically disabled and unable to work, making sure that they get enough exercise and enrichment can be... taxing on myself to say the least.

their last cat trees recently broke, and they dont really have that many toys any more. while they do get outside on leashes, it's not regular enough due to my physical health being the main factor on if i can do that. they have a lot of shelves for climbing around the place, and i'm currently working on putting up some more and making a climbing surface with some carpet for them, but i'd still like to be able to have a bit more for them.

this is not to say that they arent happy and healthy- i go above and beyond for all four of them. the problem lies in that me needing to do more walks and things with them, as their current setup is not really adequate, means that i physically end up struggling for my own needs.

i have POTs, a degenerative spine condition, fibro, and a heart problem related to connective tissue disorder (currently being invesitgated). this along with my own mental issues makes things very exhausting! i always always put my cats first, but my own health then falls by the wayside. this has a cycle of me crashing and not being able to properly provide for them for a few days beyond just food.

i did also have another cat, who would be the main source of play and companionship for the last two cats pictured, especially his brother (third pictured). he unfortunately passed due to unforeseen medical issues that caused a severe unrinary blockage. ever since then, those two have been restless and often get into near-fights, as the brother specifically has the most energy and now doesnt have his bonded partner. he has even begun to harass the other two, which has led to at least a few actual fights with the oldest sister who is getting on a bit in years, so it's not good for her either.

more toys and areas to explore, and places for the others to hide, would be helpful in this!

i have a wishlist of things that would help make my cat's lives happier, and my life caring for them easier.

it's a UK amazon wishlist, however i will be looking at more local stores for any other options or things that i can get for them as well.

if you can't/prefer not to help via amazon, i have my paypal and revolut (please ignore the deadnames on both <3).

this is not an emergency, it would just really, really help my QOL and that of my cats. thanks for reading, reblogging, or helping <3

[moody-alcoholic]

Uninvited Guest

Summary: 2.2k words. Ghoap x Reader, throuple. Reader is female (she/her), army nurse, non descript physical features, names used: Ashe

CW: Unconscious person, mentions of drugging someone repetitively.

Previous parts - masterlist - next part

It's a little shorter but enjoy <3

19:25

Price was still talking over the plan when they made it to the house. Ghost knew they were only here for one thing; the documents Soap found. It’s the evidence they need but Ghost knows it’s a long shot. He looks over at Soap, he’s smiling, of course he is, Ghost almost wants to roll his eyes.

The van pulls up to the front doors. He can see Chloe’s mother and father as well as extended family talking with officers. There’s a man with a suit tapping things on a tablet, Price said they’d called their lawyers. Everyone gets out the van as Price walks over to who Ghost assumes is the man in-charge of the whole raid.

“Found anything?” Price asks. 

“Seized some electronics as per the order. Nothing unusual though. They have sports rifles and shotguns, licences check out.” The officer says.

“Soap take Ghost to the room you saw strip the place.” Price says turning to them to give orders. 

“Gaz stick with me, we’ll search the ground floor.” Ghost doesn’t wait turning towards to house with Soap on his heals. It’s just how he likes it, as long as Soap is nearby it’s one less thing to worry about. Ghost watches as the eyes of the family follow him and Soap into the house. There are people missing, most notably Jack, Ghost knows from the briefing he’s not deployed. He could be anywhere, they haven’t exactly been keeping an eye on him.

After the incident in Syria he was sent back to the UK, his father-in-law covered for him which was to be expected. Then he went quiet, the theory was he was being told to lay low. A shiver ran up Ghost’s spine, there was something wrong with this picture. Ghost tried to ignore it letting Soap pass him to lead him into the house.

“Excuse me!” Someone calls forcing Ghost and Soap to stop in their tracks and turn around. The man Ghost assumed was the lawyer is walking towards them. 

“Excuse me but you don’t look like police.” He says. 

“Well spotted.” Soap says coming to stand next to Ghost. 

“Well I don’t see anywere on this warrant that you’re allowed access here.” He says showing a piece of paper to Ghost who is mostly ignoring it, not that he would understand the legal jargon anyway. 

“Problem boys?” Price says stepping up behind Ghost. 

“He says we’re not to be here.” Soap says.

“Here.” Price says handing him a piece of paper. 

“MI5? Hold on a second. Don’t enter the property until I have verified this.” The man says taking his phone out and turning to walk away. Ghost turns to Price. 

“Hurry up then, I want to get out of here as quick as possible.” Price says turning to walk back over to the officers and Gaz. Ghost watches the lawyer with his back now turned  on the phone, then walks into the building.   

“Up this way LT.” Soap calls heading for the stairs. Ghost follows him making it up to the first floor. Soap leads Ghost into an office. The place is a mess, shredded paper and books flung everywhere. 

“Shite.” Soap says. 

“Someone's had fun.” Ghost says. Soap walks over to the desk, he’s trying to open the drawers but they’re locked. He looks up at Ghost. 

“Price, we’ve made it but the place has been ransacked.” Ghost says into his radio as Soap starts looking through the pieces of paper that never made it through the shredder. 

“There’s nothing useful here.” He says shoving some papers off the desk. Ghost can hear the annoyance in his voice. 

“What about the drawers can you get them open?” Ghost asks looking round the room. All the walls are covered in floor to ceiling bookshelves. What parts of the room missing shelves are covered in expensive art. 

“Na, they’re locked.” Soap says trying to rattle them to see if they’re just stuck. Ghost comes around to see the papers, he can’t make out what the shredded ones are but there have been pictures, and folders, all sorts of things have been through the shredder not just papers. 

“Got anything we can open it with?” Ghost asks. 

“Yeah but shouldn’t we ask them if they have a key first?” Soap asks. 

“Price we’ve got locked drawers up here, any chance we can get a key? Maybe some officers to secure evidence?” Ghost wait’s for Price’s response as he walks over looking at the books pulled off the shelves. He notices the wood looks different and presses down on it. 

“Soap come look at this.” Ghost says as the wall gives way under his hand and it opens a secret compartment. It’s empty but that explains the books on the floor. 

“Shite there could be loads of them.” Soap says looking round the room. There is commotion in the hallways as Ghost hears the lawyer and other people making their way up to the room. 

“I told you to wait downstairs until we’d verified your paperwork!” The lawyer snaps. Ghost looks over at him, he can see the mother behind talking to a police officer. Gaz pushes his way through into the room. 

“They don’t have a key.” Gaz says handing Soap a crowbar. Ghost watches as the officers try to keep them out the room.

“You better not be destroying that desk it’s an antique!” The mother calls in horror as she watches Soap go over. 

“Give us a key then.” Soap says. Ghost looks at him, he looks serious eyeing them down as he waits for a response. 

“They can’t do this you can’t destroy property!” The lawyer shouts. Soap looks up at Ghost as he moves round to the desk stopping as he pushes the crowbar into place. Ghost nods. Fuck the bureaucracy this could be their only chance.     

  ——————————  

21:00

“Are you sure this is a good idea?” Mark asks Jack from the back of the car. Jack doesn’t say anything right away looking at the address written on the paper for the millionth time. This is not a good idea it’s a terrible idea, it could get them thrown in prison or worse killed. He has to do this though prove to his father he can fix the fuck up he’s caused.

“You scared?” Jack asks turning to look at Mark in the back seat. 

“No, just.” Mark looks away shaking his head.

“Spit it out!” Jack snaps. 

“We’re going up against trained SAS soldiers.” Marks says. 

“You are a trained SAS soldier, and besides we’re getting her not them.” Jack says turning back to look out the front window. 

“Why is she so important anyway? She’s just fucking them.” Brian says scoffing. 

“She’s not just fucking them Brian! You should have seen how hard they fought to get her out of Syria. They went to people even my father couldn’t stop.” Jack says looking back at Brian driving the car. 

“What so we’re holding her for ransom? What if they don’t care?” Harry, Marks brother asks.

“They’ll care.” Jake says confidently. 

“Four SAS soldiers versus the 4 of us. I don’t like our odds.” Mark says under his breath. 

“Pull the car over.” Jack says.

“Sorry?” Brian asks looking at him.

“Pull the fucking car over!” Jack shouts. Brian turns on the hazard lights pulling into the hard-sholder of the main road. Jack gets out the car as soon as it’s stopped going round to Marks door.

“Out now!” He snaps. Mark looks annoyed but he undoes his seat-belt slipping out. As soon as his feet touch the ground Jack pushes him round the back of the car slamming the door. 

“If you don’t want to be involved then fuck off. Go back home to dad with your tail tucked between your legs and explain how you plan on fixing this fuck up.” Jack shouts.

“It’s not my job to fix your fuck ups!” Mark shouts back. 

“No but you and Harry are the ones who let her go at the funeral! They managed to snoop around enough to find out about the sales in Syria and Urzikstan! Do you understand how big of a leak that is?!” Jack shouts.

“She would have never even been in the house if you hadn’t killed Chloe!” Mark shouts back.

“You told me she was going to tell, I didn’t have a choice.” Jack says defensively. 

“She was still my sister.” Mark said taking a step up to Jack.

“She was a liability.” Jack responds. “I wasn’t even here I was stuck in Syria preoccupied with trying to get valuable intel.” 

“Yeah right sorry busy torturing innocent army medics.” Mark says pushing Jacks chest so there is distance between them. 

“Do you know how many fucking strings dad had to pull to make sure you didn’t get dishonourably discharged for that? 141 wanted your neck bad, and you still insist on going after them like they’re the only fucking counter intelligence unit on the face of the earth.” Mike says. 

“They’re the only one we need to be worried about and now they have proof, they’re at the house right now confirming that proof. The only option we have is to get a bargaining chip. She is the best bargaining chip!” Jack says jamming his finger in Marks face. Mark shakes his head.

“And if it doesn’t work?” 

“Then we kill her either way we hurt them, she’s gone and we come up with another plan.” Jack says. 

“I thought the whole point of this was to get back the intel they’ve stolen?” Mark says.

“As soon as my father finds out which CIA agent is helping them we won’t need to worry about that. Besides we destroyed anything useful it will take the MET months to piece it together.” Jack says. 

“Now are you fucking done with your little spat? Because we need to get her before they’re done at the house.” Mark sighs, shaking his head.

“Fine fuck it, walk home.” Jack says throwing his arms up and turning back to the car.

“Wait Jack.” Mark says striding up to him and putting his hand on Jacks shoulder. “We’re family we fix our own fuck ups.” 

“Yeah, unus pro omnibus.” Jack says looking into his brothers eyes.

“omnes pro uno.” Mark replies smiling.

  ——————————  

22:00

Ghost was stood at the door with Price watching the officers finish bagging up the last of the scraps of paper for evidence. 

“They knew we were coming.” Ghost says, his arms crossed as he watches Soap tap on the walls. 

“Yeah, we knew it would be like that though.” Price said. 

“Think they’ll be enough evidence here to convict them?” 

“Don’t know, we won’t know for a while biased on how well they tried to destroy everything.” Price says sighing. Ghost watches as Soap pulls another panel out from the book cases looking inside. Nothing again, this was a waste of time, they’d done a good job scrubbing everything.

Gaz and Soap had been meticulously searching the book cases for hours. All the evidence had been taken. The mother had passed out from stress and the lawyer insisted an ambulance be called, recording everything. It had been a long night. Ghost just wanted to get back to the safehouse. Before his mind could wander Price patted him on the shoulder. 

“Tell them to finish up I’ll go chat with the chief then we’ll get out of here. Not much more we can do till the paperwork as gone through.” Price said. Ghost nodded, walking over to Soap.

“Don’t think we’re going to find anything.” Soap says as he reaches him. 

“No, Price said let’s pack it up, head back.” Ghost says, he sees Soap smile. That makes him happy, he always loves seeing his smile. Ghost tells Gaz the same thing as he finishes checking behind the last bookshelf. It’s empty, the police wrap up too checking the room one more time before taking their leave.

Ghost follows Soap and Gaz out closing the door to the office as he leaves. It’s a shame they couldn’t find anything, but in a few weeks they would know. The MET was going to literally have to put this case together to get the proof but it would happen. And with Laswell’s help they’ll be able to track their movements even better. 

“What do you think that means?” Soap asks shoving his phone in Ghost’s face. They’ve barely even made it out the house. Ghost stops, squinting at the text. It’s a jumbled mess of auto corrected words. A second text just saying 4-5 armed. 

“Price!” Ghost shouts interrupting, him talking to the police chief.

“Call the house!” He says walking over to him dragging Soap along. Price looks confused for a second excusing himself and taking out his phone. 

“What?” He asks when Ghost reaches them, he shows him the phone. 

“Could mean anything,” he says his eyes digging into Ghost. Ghost can see the doubt in his face. This is bad. Price hangs up the phone calling again. Ghost holds his breath squeezing Soaps wrist. He watches Price as the line continues to ring. It keeps ringing, Price brings the phone down then looks up at Ghost.

“We need to move now!” Ghost calls dragging Soap to the car. 

“Try calling her.” Ghost orders Soap as Gaz and Price follow. He just nods trying to hide the fear in his face. This is really bad. 

  ——————————  

22:20

“Found her phone.” Mark says handing it to Jack. He rushes over to you using your bound thumb to unlock it. 

“Shit, she’s warned them we need to leave!” He shouts moving back into the kitchen looking at the gear. They’ve already kitted up and have helped themselves to more weapons for the potential fight ahead.  

“Is she still out?” Mark asks looking back to you being tied to a chair. 

“We’ve got chloroform to keep her out till we need her.” Jack explains, looking back over at Harry and Brian still trying to tie you to a chair.

“Did you not hear me she’s told them we’re here we need to move! Get her in the car.” Jack orders them, they nod pulling at the restraints.

“Where do you want to go?” Mark asks.

“How about the house in Harrow it’s still empty right?” Jack asks.

“Yeah, it’s a bit of a drive though.” Marks says.

“That’s fine the longer we have the better. Plus we can fall back to Kensington if we need to.” Jack says watching Mark nod. 

“Bring her phone, turn it off till we need it but keep it close. We’ll use it to contact them.” Jack says. The house phone ringing makes them jump. Jack walks over to it deciding whether or not to pick it up. He could play all his card right now and tell them they’re holding you for ransom. Or he could wait until they’re in a better situation to make demands. 

“Don’t, we need as much time as we can get.” Mark says. Jack nods his fingers hovering over the phone.

“Okay lets move now! I want wheels up in 10!” Jack says heading for the back door.

“Mark help us get her in the boot.” Harry says as him Brian drag you by your arms out the door. Jack drives, with Mark next to him. They look at each other. They’re in too deep now. Mark nods at him, he’s doing this to prove he can do this. He’s better then what his dad thinks. He has a kid and a wife, he has people he needs to provide for. He can’t lose this job, he can’t fuck his family over like this. He remembers the plan grounding himself, and drives off. 

  ——————————  

Next

Latin translates to 'all for one and one for all'

[turvi]

Im requesting a tom riddle fic where he is dating the reader and like how that would look like. Make it fluffy but not to a point it’s unrealistic for him

Tom twirled his wand carelessly between his long fingers staring at Y/n who was paying more attention to the potion in front of her than him.

He couldn't take it anymore and placed his want below her chin, the same wand that had obliterated students, to make her look at him. "Your time is up."

Y/n barely parted her lips to argue when he interrupted her again. "My darling it is of no use arguing with me. So wrap this up and come with me. I will be waiting outside." With that, Tom walked out of the classroom not giving her a chance to talk.

Y/n quickly picked up her books haphazardly and jogged to catch up to Tom. Tom smirked and kept walking as she tried to catch up to him. He turned around and gave her a mocking smirk. “No rush darling. Take your time please.” 

She rolled her eyes. That made Tom stop in his tracks and looked at her coldly. “Do you have a problem darling?” Y/n gulped as he walked towards her, she tried to take long breaths to calm her beating heart in fear he might hear them. He grabbed her jaw making her look at him. “The only time I want to see your pretty eyes roll is when I make you feel good, got it precious?”

Y/n quickly nodded and froze when she felt his lips on her cheek. "Good girl." Tom took her hand in his, it felt colder than usual. As they made their way through the corridor Y/n noticed how the students made way for them, avoiding Tom like a plague, averting their eyes away from him.

An uncomfortable feeling started making home in her heart. Yes, Tom was ominous but as she spent more time with she felt there was something more... dark, something dangerous.

"What are you thinking, precious?" His honey-like voice brought Y/n back to reality to realise they were standing in front of his dorm. His tone was loving again.

"Nothing." Her voice was barely audible, but he heard her. His slender fingers caressed her chin. Y/n felt a shiver run up her spine when she looked into his eyes. Not an ounce of innocence in his brown irises were found. He looked so determined.

"You are right my darling." Y/n's eyes widened when he whispered these words in her ear. She wondered if he really heard her thoughts. "I did, precious. I always know what you are thinking. But that is good. Because we have nothing to hide from each other." She stayed still in shock as Tom kissed her jaw.

Her breath hitched when he stopped kissing her jaw, his teeth was right near her pulse. She could see his pupils dilate.

Y/n L/n in that moment realised she will never understand Tom Riddle but she will stay with him as he burns the world

A/n: THIS IS SUPER LATE. I am so sorry honestly I am moving to UK and it has been a rollercoaster. Thank you for being patient

[belli5]

Good Decoration - Niko Omilana

pairing: Niko Omilana x f!reader

warnings: js fluff. IM VERY MUCH AWARE THAT SANTA MONICA AND UK TIME ZONES ARE APART, BUT IN THIS STORY IT DOESN’T EXIST.

summary: in which, Niko goes on a trip, and he comes home early and surprises you. based on this request.

Masterlist

6 days ago Niko left to go on a trip with his friends to USA, of course you had no problem with that, but the problem was you didn’t know you would miss him so much..

Beabadoobee once said “don’t forget to kiss me or else you’ll have to miss me”, you did kiss Niko before he left, but you still missed him? Guess Beabadoobee lied..

He even offered you to go with them, but you wanted for him to spend time with his friends on a trip, so you just declined his offer.

All these six days, every night you FaceTimed when he could and wasn’t out with his friends, but even when he was out with them he’d still text you.

And so this night wasn’t any different, it was already 11:31pm and Niko has finally FaceTimed you, which you were waiting for.

You smile widely sitting up to put your computer away as you saw him calling you, “you enjoyed yourself today?” He asked, you could see that he was in his hotel room. “I certainly did. Nothing could beat a nice day home by yourself.” You teased him by the last part, actually you didn’t much enjoy the day by yourself, wishing he was right here next to you.

“Even a good day without me?” He joked, making you laugh, you both knew you didn’t enjoy it.

“Well to be honest, it was a good day, but it would’ve been better if you were here.” You said.

“You should’ve came with us then.” Niko reminded you, that he offered you days ago to go with them. You and Niko continued to waffle about each other’s days until you grew tired and told him, that you were going to sleep. Just before you went to bed you just prayed that one more week will go by quickly.

You woke up at 10am, the late morning wind blew through the open window. It was nowhere near cold, but chills ran up and down your spine constantly, making you put the blanket all over your body except your head.

You quickly reach to grab your phone from the nightstand opening it and seeing an Goodmorning message from Niko, you blushed at it opening it and texting back an “Goodmorning ❤️”

You had no idea what to do today, all you wanted to do was buy a ticket to Santa Monica and visit Niko, but that was not the best idea so instead you texted Daniela “you wanna come over today?” Which she quickly replied with “sure, I’ll be there at 12, x”

When Daniela arrived you let her in, you went to kitchen to catch up and offer her something to eat. “Where’s Niko?” She asked.

“I told you-” you started speaking, but remember you didn’t tell her, “did I not tell you that Niko is in Usa with his friends? I really miss him tho, so everytime I think about it I laugh.. cause if you don’t laugh, you cry.” You shrugged.

“I can’t believe he didn’t take you with him though..” she said putting some grapes into her mouth, the ones you offered her.

“Well he offered, but I declined.” You say, wanting to talk about something else “should we go shopping?” You suggested, to which she agreed so you went to your room to change into some comfortable clothes.

Still upstairs in your room, you texted Niko “I’m going shopping with Daniela.. I miss you so much ☹️☹️” to which he replied with two messages, “miss you too ☹️😘” and the second “text me if you need anything”

After coming home at 5pm you wanted to call Niko, so you could show the clothes you got but when you called him he declined your call.

At first you thought maybe he just did it accidentally or something so you called again, but he decline once again.

You saw his text message, “sorry, I can’t talk right now ☹️ talk to you soon ❤️” you understood, maybe he was again with his friends so you texted back “oh okay.”

You didn’t understand why you were so mad, that he couldn’t talk, you should’ve went with him but now there was no turning back..

You decided to just start making dinner, after doing it and eating you decided to go back to your room upstairs.

It was now two hours since you ate and you were bored so you decided to watch a movie. You went downstairs to get something to drink so you can continue watching the movie, but when you were in kitchen you could’ve hear the door lock opening. Niko only had keys to the house other than you, and Niko was in Santa Monica? Or atleast you thought so

The door opening, you could see Niko walking in the house. You were so confused since when did he got home, from Santa Monica to Uk is like 10 hour flight, even more probably.

“Niko?!” You said and he looked to you “how did you get home? I thought you weren’t going to be home till next week?” You asked, going over to him, tiptoeing so you could hug him around his neck.

He hugged you around your waist, your hair into his face. “Well, I got early home. We finished filming and the guys wanted to stay for fun.” He explained and let go off the hug.

“Wha-” you say confused, “well if you wanted, you could’ve stayed with your friends..” you lied, of course you didn’t want him to stay there longer, as much as you loved the guys, you still wanted Niko to yourself.

“No, no. I wanted to come home.” He said, pulling you into him once again, after taking off his north face jacket, sometimes looking up to Niko you thought you would break your neck from how much taller he was. “In fact the guys didn’t mind.”

You pulled him to the living room so you both could sit down, you wanted to be as close as you could, even though that may sound clingy, but oh well?!

“Was that why you couldn’t FaceTime?” You ask, smiling ear to ear.

“Yeah obviously, there’s no other reason..” he said in duhh tone. He placed his palm on your cheek and leaned in so his lips met yours. You both pulled away with goofy smiles.

You let out a sigh, “I missed you so much, you have no idea how many times I’ve said that to myself and Daniela today..” you laughed.

“Did you really missed me that much?” He questioned jokingly, “it was like what, six days?”

“Duh..” you rolled your eyes playfully “six days is a lot for your information..” you got up from the couch, pulling his arm so you both could go to bed, you just wanted him under the sheets. (Not in THAT way..)

You finally could go to sleep peacefully, knowing Niko is by your side, when he wasn’t and you were REALLY REALLY tired you still craved Niko and it would be lonely without him there.

“Did you really mean it when you said that I could’ve stayed with my friends?” Niko asked, as you were about to fall asleep.

“No, I was joking. I’m glad you’re here. What, did you wanted to stay there?”

“No.” He answered and kissed you forehead and even though it was hot in the room, you still gladly accepted his touch, even when tomorrow morning your skin might be sticky.

[tsukikumai]

Seatbelts, whispers & patience

Shu Yamino x reader

slightly nsfw!! Established relationship.

A 4 seater car for 5 people, you were “forced” to sit in one seat with Shu. What could go wrong?

You were picked up at the UK airport with Vox, Nina, Luca and Shu. You were the last to arrive there, and Vox drove everyone there to meet up with you.

So you gathered your luggage, got through customs and met the squad. Everyone was just what you expected, cheerful and funny as always. You gave everyone a good hug. Vox, Luca, Nina and then… Shu.

Shu’s hug was rather longer and more intimate than the others. You wrappped your arms around his neck, and his slender arms held you by your waist.

He chucked, “Hi babe, long time no see.” His sweet voice flowed through your ears, although you had called him everyday while you were apart, hearing him in real life was so much better.

“Shuuu~” You cooed, nestling your head into his shoulders. “aksjdj s-stop, let’s get going, they’re waiting on us.” He coughed, embarrassed.

=========more under the cut==========

Luca, Vox were simply having a normal conversation, backing off so you guys could have some time. It seemed as though Nina was a part of that conversation, but upon closer inspection, she was staring at you two with the largest grin on her face.

Shu helped you load your luggage on to Vox’s car and it was time to go to the Airbnb you all booked.

However, there was one flaw about this plan, Vox’s car was a four seater.

You and Shu hadn’t been together for a very long time yet, but this was the only reasonable plan to proceed with.

Shu sat back and opened his legs, patting the available area infront of him, telling you to sit down. Honestly he didn’t think too much about this, because he was the one who pitched this idea. He was probably too focused on the solution, rather than realizing how intimate the 30 minute ride would be.

“You guys alright back there?” Vox inquired, starting up the car.

You both hummed in agreement, even though you were awkwardly sat in front of Shu. “Hey, you know you can sit back a little more right? There’s still some space here.” He noticed your discomfort, and tried to scoot back into the seat a little more.

Little did he know that he would’ve regretted this offer.

You scoot back. His thighs trapped your lower body like a docking station (I’m sorry for this simile). You were so close you could feel his breath of the back of your neck.

Suddenly, the car rocked, and instinctively Shu grips your waist to stop you from moving. The car rocked again, his hold tightened.

“Sorry guys I don’t know why this road is so bumpy.” Vox said, “I’m just following the GPS, so just hold on for a minute Y/n.”

“Alright…”

“I suppose Shu can just be Y/n’s seat belt for a bit” Nina laughed teasingly.

“I m-mean, that’s the only way right?” Shu stuttered.

Shu was trying his best to be your seatbelt, his hands held strongly onto your waist, and his thighs lightly squeezed your body. You rested your hands on Shu’s legs, your very own Shu-chair.

“Are you doing okay there, Shu?” Luca, who was sat on your right questioned. “Your face looks a bit red, is it too hot in here?”

At this point, Shu had realized the situation, the problem to his solution. You felt his breath hitch, his heart beat thudding faster on your back.

“Y-yeah, I”m… fine.” He spoke slowly, facing the window. “It is a little h-hot in here.”

You weren’t sure why, but Vox turned on the radio, slightly louder than it should’ve been.

You felt something touch your lower back, you stiffen in his hold.

Ah. That was why.

“S-sorry, babe.” He whispers in your ear, the air sent shivers down your spine. “I didn’t t-think this whole thing through.”

You felt red sneak up to your cheeks. He rested his chin on your left shoulder, blocking Luca from seeing his face.

You took a glance at Shu, his face was red, his left eye was closed, contrasting his open mouth lightly panting for air.

“Oh dear.” You whispered back to him. “Vox, how long til we get there?”

“10 more minutes.” The demon replied, you knew it was gonna be the longest 10 minutes of your life for the both of you.

You tried to give Shu some space by taking your hands off his legs and scooting forward away from him. However, the sorcerer quickly grabbed your right hand with his, wrapping his right arm around your waist, pulling you back.

“Shu?” You questioned, quietly.

“Luca m-might see.” He explained, “I’ll be f-fine.”

“You sure don’t sound like you’re fine, Shu.” You teased.

“Don’t make this h-harder for me.”

With that, you proceeded to shut up by request of your boyfriend.

The car, however had no plans to stop. Every bounce the vehicle had, you would collide with your beloved, it was getting more difficult for him to hold in his voice.

“Haah…”

“Hnggh…”

“Mghh…”

His quiet moans weren’t heard by anyone else since Vox turned on the radio, but you heard it clear as day, with every noise sending butterflies in your stomach. Electricity pulsing through your entire body.

Now you were two red tomatoes, waiting for the ride to be over.

“Finally we’re here!” Luca exclaimed, getting off the car with the rest of them. Shu held tight onto your backpack at a convenient place, and quickly dragged you into the Airbnb.

“So how do you like it?” Nina asked.

“It’s great! Very spacious.” You nodded in approval.

“You have a shared bedroom with Shu! Isn’t that pog?” Luca chimed in, pointing at the door.

“Might not want to keep him waiting though.” Vox leaned in and whispered. You glance to the side, Shu was still holding your hand, running out of his usually unlimited amount of patience.

You smiled to the three of them, “I’m gonna go take a quick shower.”

You lead Shu into your shared bedroom.

“Thank god,” he drops your bag onto the floor with a thud and locks the door.

“Come here, baby.”

[convenient-plot-device]

An essay I wrote for school on Strange New Worlds' problems with ableism, complete with bibliography:

Star Trek: Strange New Worlds has numerous problems, from its retooling of the Gorn into knockoff xenomorphs to its erasure of Spock’s Jewish roots to its overreliance on nostalgia, but its most glaring flaw is its painful undercurrent of ableism. The conflation of disability with death, the ignorance and tacit pardoning of eugenics, and the disposal of multiple disabled characters come together to weave a harmful and ignorant pattern in the show’s writing.

Christopher Pike’s character in Strange New Worlds is defined by disability. The dilemma he wrestles with in almost every episode is the looming specter of his future disability, which was revealed to him via time crystal in season two of Star Trek: Discovery. In the twelfth episode of season two, “Through The Valley of Shadows”, Pike must harvest a time crystal in order to send the life’s story of a dead alien to the future to protect it from an evil artificial intelligence intent on destroying all life in the galaxy. When Pike touches the crystal, he sees visions of his future, in which he is caught in a deadly radioactive explosion and left with severe burns and full body paralysis, able to move and communicate only through a specialized wheelchair. “The sequence ends with a final linked pair of nightmarish shots, a centred close-up of the older Pike’s face beginning to melt as he screams matched with the younger Pike’s own horrified scream as he falls backward into the present moment,” (Muredda, Angelo). As Muredda says later in the same article, this portrayal imagines disability as “a terminal point, something to scream about in terror, and the embodied sign of no liveable future at all.” The depiction of disability as a horrifying fate, and of the disabled body as an object of disgust and/or fear has a long history in the genres of horror and science fiction; previous and current Star Trek series are not immune to this. The Borg Queen, who appeared most recently in Picard, is missing most of her lower body and uses a robotic replacement to walk— her prosthetic spine is used as an object of horror and disgust when she first appears in First Contact (1996).

While Strange New Worlds had the opportunity to break this pattern and defy ableist stereotypes with Pike, they chose instead to follow the path Discovery had laid for them. Despite the fact that it is made very clear that Pike will be disabled, not killed, by the explosion he will be caught in in the future, every character within the narrative speaks of Pike’s fate as if he is going to die. Pike says, less than twenty minutes into the pilot: “I know how and when my life will end.” This writing decision mirrors the real-life belief that disabled peoples’ lives are akin to “a fate worse than death” or “not worth living,” a sentiment which has led to real deaths: “. . . [early in the pandemic] this belief — that we’re just surviving, not living, and thus have limited quality of life — lead to forced DNRs being put in the files of disabled people in the UK and lead directly to the death of a disabled man, Michael Hickson,” (Lloyd, Kelas). Hickson was denied treatment for pneumonia in Austin, Texas due to his doctor’s perception that he “didn’t have much of a quality of life.” He was put in hospice against his family’s wishes and died at the age of 46. (Shapiro, Joseph). For Strange New Worlds to equate Pike’s disability to the end of his life is irresponsible and reinforces the cultural biases that led to the death of Hickson and continue to impact the quality of treatment disabled people receive the world over.

Christopher Pike’s initial appearance in the original series episode “The Menagerie” was actually very progressive for the time; despite the limited communication of the blinking-light system in his wheelchair and his ending being living out the last of his life in a virtual reality where he could walk again, he was still a disabled person on television in a position of power.

When Pike first appeared, the Ugly Laws were still in place in much of the United States. Someone visibly disfigured/disabled was not to be seen in public spaces, at the risk of fines or jail . . . Captain Pike’s appearance in The Original Series was revolutionary. Here was not just a visibly disabled person, but they were someone Spock respected and cared about enough to risk his career for. [Disabled people] didn’t have a great existence, but they had one, and Pike was still valued as a person. (Lloyd, Kelas).

It would have been quite easy for the writers to modernize Pike’s portrayal to further disability representation in the way Pike first did: @hard-times-paramore has written an alternate ending (a mixed media series titled “The Captain’s Chair”) for Strange New Worlds in which Pike goes on to captain a new starship after becoming disabled, assisted by an interpreter, a caretaker, and futuristic medical technology. This alternate ending carries the message that disabled people are still people, who can and should be allowed a place in science fiction, as opposed to the current message sent by SNW, which is that significant disability is akin to a death sentence, even in a fantastical future.

However, there is more to Strange New Worlds’ portrayal of disability than just Captain Pike. The show is also very preoccupied with genetic augmentation and the Federation’s attitude toward it. While this is far from unique among Star Trek media, unlike other Trek properties which have covered this topic (Doctor Bashir, I Presume?, Chrysalis, Space Seed, Affliction/Divergence, etc) Strange New Worlds does not acknowledge the real-life equivalent to science fiction genetic augmentation: eugenics. SNW portrays genetic augmentation as a neutral practice targeted unjustly by the Federation because of outdated prejudices, with no examination of what genetic augmentation is a stand-in for. While the original series (in “Space Seed”) first introduced the Federation’s ban on genetic augmentation as a justified protective measure against the breeding of warlike “superior ambition” among men of “superior ability,” Strange New Worlds portrays genetic augmentation as an unjustly discriminated-against trait whose origin and consequences mean little to nothing.

Strange New Worlds’ main conduit for their genetic augmentation plotlines is Una Chin-Riley, the first officer of the Enterprise. She is a member of an alien species called Illyrians, who genetically modify themselves to suit the environments of planets they colonize. She herself was genetically modified as a baby, and is thus legally barred from joining Starfleet— however, she lied on her application to Starfleet Academy to get in. The plots revolving around her concern her arrest for violating Federation law and the subsequent trial, which is used as an extended metaphor for discrimination against, and the fight for civil rights for, marginalized groups. “Ad Astra Per Aspera,” the episode covering Una’s trial, is intentionally vague with its metaphor, to the point that just about any marginalized group could be represented by it. This episode is, on its face, fine. It argues against discrimination through allegory quite adeptly, discussing the concept of “passing” as part of a non-oppressed group and broaching the topic of systemic oppression. However, it has one glaring flaw in its base: the stand-in it chose for real-life oppression. Genetic modification, unlike other fantastical attributes that can be used to metaphorize oppression, has a bloody real-life history involving the deaths and sterilizations of millions of people. Strange New Worlds, however, appears ignorant of this fact: not once does the topic of eugenics come up in any of their episodes about genetic augmentation. Not once does the topic of disability come up, either. This is either an unwillingness to engage with the realities of what those who seek to change humanity’s genes have done and continue to do, a grave oversight, or mere ignorance. Whichever one it is, this omission of eugenics from the narrative of genetic augmentation is one that cannot be ignored. Its omission reads as a tacit endorsement of genetic augmentation at times, such as when Una and La’An say, in “Ghosts of Illyria”:

LA’AN: All my life I've hated augments. Hated what people thought of me because I was related to them. Understanding why they were outlawed in the Federation. The damage they did. They almost destroyed Earth.

UNA: [. . .] My people were never motivated by domination. Illyrians seek collaboration with nature. By bioengineering our bodies, we adapt to naturally-existing habitats. Instead of terraforming planets, we modify ourselves. And there's nothing wrong with that.

By ignoring the part eugenics plays in Star Trek’s portrayal of augmentation, and instead portraying the issue as a matter of prejudice based off of the fictional event of the Eugenics Wars— when augmented “supermen” became dictators and killed millions in conquest and war— Strange New Worlds completely fails to examine the real-life implications of their metaphor.

What makes this episode’s flaws worse is that another Star Trek series already portrayed the potential expulsion of a genetically augmented person from Starfleet, handling it with better understanding of the eugenic undertones of genetic augmentation, and it did so in 1997. In the season five episode of Deep Space Nine, “Doctor Bashir, I Presume?”, it is revealed that Julian Bashir, chief medical officer of Deep Space Nine, was illegally genetically modified by his parents as a small child and is in danger of being thrown out of Starfleet because of this revelation. Throughout the course of the episode, the audience learns that Bashir’s parents chose to modify him because he was intellectually disabled as a child. His mother believed that his life would be better if he were “normal,” while his father wanted a successful son and believed that intellectual disability was inimical to that end. The episode expresses, through Julian’s anger at his parents, that modifying a person to rid them of perceived “undesirable traits” is wrong, but that it is also wrong to unilaterally bar people from Starfleet based on a decision that was made for them by eugenicist parents. This message is far more clear than “Ad Astra Per Aspera”’s, especially on the subject of disability and eugenics. Strange New Worlds’ complete neutrality on and/or tacit approval of genetic augmentation/eugenics, in contrast to Deep Space Nine’s nuanced examination of the topic, is glaring.

The specific problem with Strange New Worlds’ neutrality on genetic modification is that for a species to be changed on a genetic level for any reason, traits must be eliminated. In a science fiction setting, this can be accomplished by simply changing the genetic structure of a consenting adult with a futuristic medical tool, rather than through violence as in our reality, but this, too, presents ethical problems. What is considered a problem to be cured? Who makes that decision? What happens to those who don’t want something modified out of them? What happens to any children they may have? Who gets to have control over technology with the power to eliminate or introduce genetic traits at will? What place do disabled people have in a society built off of achieving peak physical performance in a given environment? Strange New Worlds attempts to answer none of these questions. It acknowledges none of them. And this silence leaves disabled people out of the conversation completely by not even considering them. Today, in Denmark and Iceland, almost 100% of fetuses with Down Syndrome are aborted; the law in Iceland even specifically states that abortion is permitted after 16 weeks only if the fetus has a “deformity,” which Down Syndrome is specified to count as. (Quinones, Julian; Lajka, Arijeta). An entire anti-vaccine movement was begun in Britain because parents were so afraid of having a child with autism and chronic digestive disease, a child like me, that they risked their children dying of measles. This is what real-life genetic engineering looks like, and Strange New Worlds has failed to acknowledge that. I, at least, consider that a failure of writing, empathy, and allyship.

Strange New Worlds’ portrayal of disability is not relegated to Pike’s fate and Una’s augmentation, however. The show has several other characters who either are disabled or become disabled at one point. Rukiya, Dr. M’Benga’s daughter, is treated less as a character and more as an object for the emotional development of her father, a position many young disabled girls occupy in fiction. “[This story] centers Dr. M’Benga, and his pain, and his struggle, and doesn’t grapple with what Rukiya’s going through.” (Lloyd, Kelas). Rukiya has an untreatable terminal cancer, and is kept in a state of suspension in the transporter buffer by her father while he searches for a cure. Her story ends when the Enterprise enters a sentient telepathic nebula with the power to warp reality, and it offers to keep Rukiya within itself so that her disease will not progress and she will be able to grow up. M’Benga decides that this is the best option, and so relinquishes Rukiya to the nebula. She is never seen again. “She is disabled, and then she’s removed . . . The disabled person was put into [a] box and left behind, like so many disabled people have been put away in care homes and institutions and left behind.” (Lloyd, Kelas). Jax agreed, saying: “It just felt like she was poofed away for convenience. Like, ‘There! The problem is gone! The terminal illness or the girl? Both! Don’t worry about it!’”

The only other disabled main character on SNW is Hemmer, who is a member of a blind species called the Aenar. “While the Aenar cannot see, they believe that their telepathy gives them a ‘superior’ awareness of their surroundings compared to sighted people (Vrvilo, 2022). Because of this, the Aenar are highly criticized by the disability community as falling into the ‘magically disabled’ trope.” (Harris, Heather Rose). Bruce Horak, the actor who plays Hemmer, is blind himself, which is a genuinely good decision in terms of representation and support for the disabled community. However, Hemmer dies in the penultimate episode of season one. This decision was not received well by disabled fans: “It just kind of felt like a kick in the teeth. I finally found some good disability representation played by a disabled actor [who] isn’t a one off character, and they die in the first season.” (Jax). Both Hemmer and Rukiya are left behind by the narrative of Strange New Worlds, and with them, so too are disabled perspectives. The crew of the Enterprise is now entirely able-bodied, and the only remaining character whose story directly concerns disability is Pike, who repeatedly asserts that his life will end once he becomes disabled. This state of affairs is the embodiment of being spoken for, and being spoken over.

There is a saying in the disabled community: “Nothing about us without us.” This saying means that abled people should not attempt to help, treat, or speak about disabled people without involving disabled people in their efforts. Disabled people are often denied autonomy over their bodies, medical care, relationships, and lives; to deny them a part in operations meant to help them is to further deny them dignity and respect. This is what Strange New Worlds is doing by writing disabled stories with no disabled writers in the room— while they did well by casting Bruce Horak to play Hemmer, it is not enough to have disabled people in front of the camera. They must also play a part in writing, directing, planning, and all other work behind the scenes if Strange New Worlds wishes to tell their stories. In order for Strange New Worlds to rectify their pattern of ableism, they must listen to disabled voices.

BIBLIOGRAPHY:

[saydams]

so, most of the pet habitats and enclosures for small mammals available at pet stores are not suitable for them. they are in fact very dangerous. and new pet owners don't realize this.

there is currently a petition in the uk to address this problem. if you are in the uk, please consider signing here.

unsuitable cages like this

these cages are too small and are unsafe and unhealthy for these poor little guys. too small to dig and run, wheels so small they will damage the little guy's spine from forcing too much of a backbend while running, no space to explore, territory is too small for them to feel safe and happy.

but they look cute and they are for sale in legitimate pet stores so people wont know better. people will buy them for their new pet. and either their pet will grow up sad and neurotic and sick, or the owner will learn more about their new pet later and have to get a whole new setup. which wastes money. better to get the right thing first time, and not having these bad options avaialble in petstores will help a lot.

[slothlifepolitics]

I'm so beyond fed up of non-American's in countries that have never dealt with American interference in their government bullshitting about how they are "personally effected by American politics" so they think they have the right to tell American's to vote for Biden. Canadians have the nerve to pull this shit, because they are so illiterate of their own history they think US Republicans are at fault for their racism problem.

If I see another person from the UK claim this, I might figure out away to punch someone though their computer screen. Australians are the weirdest with this lie since you'd think they'd have more a problem with the UK. Another bs excuse I see is but but but our politicians do what yours tell them to!! IDK try voting for someone with a spine? Maybe spend time talking about and too your politicians instead of being so narcissistic you think you have the right to tell Americans how to vote? If I see one more tag on a post about genocide from a non-American making completely bullshit excuses about "sure genocide is bad but I support it because . . . ." I'm going to throw them into the sun. I'm not surprised to see so many Europeans pretending to be against genocide while telling Americans why we should support it, but you'd think they'd feel some shame about it.

If Americans spent this much time telling non-Americans how to vote y'all would spend days making rage posts about how bad and evil Americans are. In fact some of us tried to warn Brits about how their politicians were using Republican tactics with Brexit and Brits flipped the fuck out. The insults went on for days. We weren't even telling them to do something like support genocide, just a hey be careful we recognize these tactics. But the response was intensely hostile. Yet Americans are just supposed to shut up and let random people tell us how to vote.

The people of Palestine are currently being directly impacted by US politics and they aren't asking us to vote for Biden. I'm going to listen to them over some random who thinks hearing about something on the news means they are personally impacted.

[swiftletinthecloud]

Love that the thing after Uk that got her going once Naksu got her memories back is going toe to toe with Jin Mu.

Naksu and Uk finding out she’s really Naksu in the same episode? Thank goodness!

And finally some action next week (although I don’t want it to come both bc it will be the end and also the end of my break 😭)

Go Won, if you don’t find your spine and come back to the light next week, we’re going to have some serious problem here.

[angryteapott]

A reflection on why the introductory episodes of Alchemy of Souls part 2 are putting me off so much, featuring mild spoilers:

(TLDR if you like AoS’s softer female lead as of part two ep two, I really think you’ll like the show Lighter & Princess even though it’s contemporary. Check it out!!)

To be honest, I think the reason I’m grumpy about the current direction is the exact reason other people are liking it. While both seasons lean into the salt and fat style of making entertainment (always tastes better with More), part one uses breakneck pacing and shenanigans as it’s flavoring (which I prefer) where part 2 is using wildly popular romance tropes.

IMO, part one’s buddy comedy feel suits AoS’s anachronistic hairstyles, fast and tone flopping dialogue (that part where naksu almost gives uk to the soul shifter and instead of going all angsty they have him go “hey!” never fails to crack me up) and balls to the wall world building. It’s a romance, but a romance of two people who are first and foremost partners in chaos and who treat their goals as seriously as they treat each other. While a lot of its elements are common fare for its wuxia roots (ie introducing a new technique, saying it’s impossible, and giving the MC a hack to do it anyways within 10 minutes), AoS part 1 makes itself feel fresh by not lingering on its own self importance but instead on how batshit, amoral and funny its main characters are for using duct tape power ups as they scrabble towards the finish line, all while delivering surprisingly solid character arcs that emotionally anchor the decisions about arbitrary magical problems. It reminds me of the first few episodes of sword snow stride if sword snow stride thought women were people. In other words, it’s an absolute banger.

And now part two has launched, the ostensibly darker finish. After the teasers I personally was hoping “darker” meant the same pedal to the metal feel while it treated itself less lightly. However thus far (although it’s early days), this season’s MSG seems to be “dark” id appeasing romance tropes . They’re leaning into the fairytale elements more, which could be fun, but with this comes a closed off ML/ wide eyed FL romance and resultant overwrought angst (FL in her rapunzel era! she cries defeated until he whisks away the boat!! Marriage of convenience!!! Uwu she’s too insecure to even try with the lantern :(!! “She’s my wife” FL starstruck moment 🤩!!!). Which I’m not against as a concept, by the way!! I mean I just devoured lighter and princess and that’s a whole cheesefest. But thus far naksu’s uncut sweetness makes the simultaneous attempts at chaotic hilarity not land for me, and it doesn’t really jive with the previous emotional knots driving character actions approach as much as it does an angsty arbitrary romantic drama. Case in point is the writing giving the actress very Naksu ACTIONS (entrap a strong husband at all costs!!!) while direction is likely what’s making her give the most calf eyed, spaced out performance as she does it, which barely even makes sense. She doesn’t look frustrated at all with her “mom” for trapping her, even though she plans on escaping (and wrecking the jin reputation and harming her “mom”) in the next scene? She’s desperate enough to say something as vicious as jang uk’s so alone that he should marry anyone willing, but with a soft, spineless tone? Sheltered rich girls can have a spine, just see Lighter & Princess! For me, the screenshot parallels people are posting are the real knife in the gut- why are season one’s expressions so good while season two’s are just slightly confused? The hair is still wacky, the world building’s still like swiss cheese, and everyone else is still trying to banter… and I’m supposed to be swept into this played straight disney princess routine? While people seem to be loving the love affair, I keep waiting for why I watched in the first place.

That said, Uk and the crown prince still have mad beef in a way that feels both emotionally honest and funny (CP’s reaction to the wraiths was exactly what that plot point needed to deflate its self importance), and evil guy fieri remains delightfully schemey. So maybe they’ll bring the magic back!! For now, everyone else seems to be eating up the tropes, so maybe I’ll just stay grumpy alone.

[detroit-grand-prix]

Wildest Dreams Chapter 15 - gold rush

Chapter summary: After a season of struggle and triumph in spite of it, Bee goes on summer break, and then on to Monza - The Temple of Speed, and her favorite track.

Content warning: References to a previous sexual assualt

Chapter word count: 5,448

Author's Notes: Not much to say with this chapter, notes or reference-wise! The 2018 F2 car was introduced with huge reliability issues. Here's an article talking about Russian Time's issues with it in particular, but the entire field was having problems that year - not surprising, given that F2 is a spec series where all the cars are the same.

I just decided it was high time that Bee get a little bit of glory. I'd wish I'd been able to squeeze in some more interaction with Susie or Natalie, but I also kind of wanted to convey that Bee is starting to not need to lean on either of them all the time, so it just didn't feel right.

Toto's quote about "squeeze your arse cheeks and commit" was from this article, which I've referenced before. I feel like Susie would be kind of miffed if (more like when) she found out that Toto was encouraging his junior driver to pursue a lap record at a dangerous track, given his history with lap record attempts...

The poem referenced is Rainer Maria Rilke's 'Go to the Limits of Your Longing', which is one of my favorites.

Previous Chapter

Degerloch, Stuttgart, Germany August 8th, 2018

The summer races were almost finished. Bee had middling performances in Hungary and Spa - not unexpected with Spa. It was Bee’s least favorite track. The weather was usually unpredictable and usually dreadful, and it was dangerous. She hated the Eau Rouge-Raidillon corner with every fiber of her being; it was possibly her least favorite corner of any track she’d been on. There were very few runoff areas or gravel traps, which meant you could spin off and re-enter onto a live racetrack. Bee drove with a certain degree of bravado, but she never did well in Spa. She wasn’t sure why Monza was so different, when it had the same issues, both being old tracks, other than the weather usually being better. Monza was her favorite track, and it was the next race coming up, in early September.

The nice thing was that she no longer seemed to work herself into anxiety over her less-than-ideal performances like she used to. She wasn’t sure if it was more of Natalie’s work with her, having a team that supported her, or a combination thereof. Not having to constantly look over her shoulder for Nick was also hugely beneficial for her peace of mind.

She went back to Stuttgart for the two-week summer shutdown, and turned 21 on August 8th. She requested, and had, a quiet birthday dinner with just her parents. If she were in the US, it would have marked the beginning of her legal drinking years, but she’d been able to legally drink in Germany since she was 16, so it didn’t feel like much of a milestone.

Her parents got her a new luggage set - the kind with hard walls and four wheels, instead of the soft-walled ones she had that were starting to show considerable wear after traveling so much. They also got her a pair of noise-canceling bluetooth headphones. 

Her grandparents sent her their traditional birthday gift for her - a case of peanut butter. It was one of Bee’s favorite foods, but it was uncommon in Europe. Most Germans thought it was disgusting. She hasn’t had much better luck in the UK, either. The European brands she’d tried weren’t the same. So, since she was twelve, Bee requested a case of peanut butter for her birthday from her grandparents. It never lasted the entire year. 

Toto and Susie had sent her a small gift as well that was also travel-related - a bespoke passport case that was custom-made in a workshop in Vienna, according to the small card inside. It was honey yellow, with a black stripe on the spine, and a hand-embossed vintage-styled bumblebee on the back, with her initials stamped into the corner. She adored it.

For the rest of her break, she spent most of her time reading books in a hammock in her parents’ backyard. One of her friends had gotten her a collection of poetry in German by Rainer Maria Rilke for her birthday, and she was still trying to get through the entirety of the Outlander series - not an easy task.

She saw photos from her fellow drivers on Instagram of things they were doing on their vacations - beach trips, hiking, going to nightclubs, mountain biking, surfing, skydiving  - a lot of it wasn’t for her. She’d been traveling so much that she just preferred to be at home when she could.

She still was diligent about her workouts and going for runs - she wanted to be in the best shape she could for Monza. She also stepped up her effort with working on her neck, shoulders, and core muscles. After her FP1 test in Hungary, her neck was sore enough that one of the Mercedes team physios had to strap it with kinesio tape for her next two races for extra support. It felt better now, but her FP1 test gave her an idea of what kind of condition she needed to be in to make it in F1. She still had a lot of work to do.

Autodromo Nazionale di Monza, Monza, Province of Monza and Brianza, Lombardy, Italy Friday, August 31st, 2018

Monza had arrived. Round 10 of 12. Only two more rounds to go for Bee’s first season in Formula 2. She was currently 5th in the championship standings, right behind her teammate, Artem. It wasn’t a bad place to be for a rookie - she was the only rookie, other than George, in the top 5. George had a healthy lead in the standings.

Just before Bee left for Italy, Svetlana had called and given her some bad news - Russian Time was withdrawing from F2 at the end of the current season. Since they only participated in Formula 2, it meant that they were folding. The team that had managerial control over RT, Virtuosi Racing, would be fielding its own entry under the name UNI-Virtuosi. It wasn’t public knowledge yet. Bee was disappointed. She thought the name and livery were very silly when she first signed with them. She still did, but she had really enjoyed being on the team. It was a small team with a lot of heart, and Svetlana was a wonderful team principal. On the bright side, they’d be retaining the staff, and she liked the incoming team principal and current manager of Virtuosi, Andy, but not as much as Svetlana.

She resolved to do her best this weekend at her favorite track to send Russian Time out with a good race.

On the flight from Stuttgart to Milan, she read more of the Rilke book she got for her birthday. Her German was more or less fluent, but poetry in German was something else entirely. It was maybe not a language that lent itself well to poetry - it was taking her a lot more time than poems in English or even French would, but reading poetry was supposed to be slower.

She found a poem with a line, though, that absolutely floored her. It stole the breath from her lungs. 

“Lass dir Alles geschehn: Schönheit und Schrecken.

Man muss nur gehn: Kein Gefühl ist das fernste.

“Let everything happen to you: beauty and terror.

Just keep going. No feeling is final.”

That had summed up her season if not her entire career in motorsport, better than she ever could find words to do so. It was a mantra. Over the last six years, she’d experienced moments of beauty and terror in equal measure. 

“Just keep going. No feeling is final.”

She did her usual track walk with Mercedes. Of their two drivers, only Valtteri did them - Lewis said he didn’t find them particularly valuable. She chatted with Toto and Susie about how their summer break had been, and thanked them for the thoughtful birthday gift.

“Would you believe that I wasn’t even using a case on my passport before? It was starting to look a little rough.”

“I know,” Susie said, laughing at her. “I’ve seen it! That’s why we got you the case!”

Practice went extremely well. She loved Monza. It was fast - probably the fastest track, and most of the lap was spent with the engine at full throttle. Many drivers and teams didn’t care for it because it was so hard on engines - you alternated between running absolutely flat-out and using heavy braking. Spectators didn’t really like it much, either - it wasn’t a very technical track so it wasn’t the most exciting race to watch, but it was amazing for overtakes, which were Bee’s favorite thing. She handily set the best lap time.

Qualifying was also a roaring success - she qualified P1 for the first time of the season. Her first F2 career pole. She thought her radio was broken when she set the best time because of how loudly Geoff was cheering for her. She was cheering too.

Most occasions where she’d been on pole position, either by earning it directly or by reverse grid rules, she dreaded it. It was far easier to chase than be chased, and she would much rather have to fight her way to the front than try to stay there from the start. But she had a good feeling about it, this time. 

For the second time this season, she found herself at the qualifying press conference, but she was in the middle of the table this time. George had gotten P2, and a Brazilian driver named Sérgio from Carlin had qualified on P3.

Once again, she watched as the press pool took their seats, and waited for Tom Clarkson to start. 

“Welcome to the FIA Formula 2 Press Conference Qualifying here in Monza, the Temple of Speed. Joining me are first-time polesitter Phoebe Stallard for Russian Time, in second George Russell for ART Grand Prix, and in third, Sérgio Sette Câmara for Carlin. Phoebe, starting with you: it’s your first pole of the season, you’re now the first woman ever to take a pole position in an Formula 2, and the first American driver to do so as well - we heard you and your team cheering over team radio – just tell us how good that feels.”

“Honestly, I have no words,” Bee said. “It just felt like everything came together during that last lap. The car felt amazing. I love Monza, it’s been one of my favorite tracks for years now, and was one of my best results in my first year of Formula Renault and the first race I won in GP3. It feels especially good because before the summer break, Hungary and Spa were not my best performances to date, so I’m really happy this weekend is starting out on the right foot. I just hope it continues.”

“And speaking of Hungary, we saw you participate in the FP1 test with Mercedes at the Hungaroring. What was that like? Were you surprised when Toto Wolff told you that you would be testing there?” Tom said.

“I don’t know if surprised is the right word. I was happy, certainly. He said that he was really happy with how George and I have been performing this season and that we’d both get an in-season test before Abu Dhabi. He said it would be Hungary and Silverstone, and we had to choose amongst ourselves which track we wanted. I let George take Silverstone because it’s his home race, and Hungary is closer to Stuttgart where my parents live, so it was a pretty easy decision. It was an absolutely incredible experience, but my neck was very sore afterward. It’s so much more intense than an F2 car.”

“Congratulations, once again. George, moving to you - a front-row start for tomorrow, but did you think that pole was in contention today for you?”

“I don’t know,” George said. “I was hoping for it, but Phoebe was just so massively quick today. I don’t know if this track just suits her driving style particularly well, but she’s been doing a lot of work with her racecraft in the sim in Brackley over the course of this season and I think it’s just starting to really show now. She’s also become a lot more confident this season, and it’s been really great to have her as a teammate at Mercedes and to be able to see that.”

Bee blushed a little and play-shoved George’s shoulder. “Aw, shucks,” she said, playfully. Tom moved on to asking Sérgio if he was satisfied with being in the top 3 or if he thought he could get more out of qualifying.

Bee thought that was it as far as questions for her, but Tom brought a question back around to her - “Finally, Phoebe, kind of an unconventional question, but we saw some people at the Hungaroring with signs that said ‘Super Bee’, and we know that ‘Bee’ is your nickname, and we’ve seen your bee-themed helmet - where did that come from? Is there a story there?”

Bee definitely wasn’t expecting a question like that. She assumed it was obvious that ‘Bee’ came from the last syllable of her name, but there was a story for it.

“As far as the nickname Super Bee goes, you might have Daniel Ricciardo to thank for that. When I joined Red Bull, I told him I was from the Detroit area, he told me I had more ‘Detroit Muscle than a Dodge Super Bee’, but I’m pretty sure he was teasing me at the time because I was very scrawny at that age.” 

A polite chuckle resounded through the press hall.

“And then as far as “Bee” goes, when I was a kid, and I mean, like, just learning how to talk, I couldn’t quite manage to say the first part of my name, and when I said my name I always said “bee bee”, for some reason. So my family just started calling me “Bee” for short, and it stuck, and different people have come up with different variations on that and now I have even more nicknames than I know what to do with.” 

There wasn’t much of a chance to see anyone from Mercedes after - Toto and Susie were both gone, and the mechanics were trying to prep the cars for tomorrow, so Bee and George just went back to the hotel and ordered room service dinner. They sat and ate together in Bee’s room. Bee was laying on her stomach on her bed, George sat in the chair by the desk. They found a football match on TV for some background noise.

“That was nice, what you said about me at the press conference.” Bee said, picking at her risotto. The menu said this dish was a local speciality, but she wasn’t so sure she liked it very much.

“Well, I meant it. I know it’s been a rough season for you with that Nick business and I think you’ve done really well despite it.”

“Meh.” Bee said, setting her fork down. “It’s not the first time some rich guy’s shithead son has tried to run me out of this sport like that.” Bee wondered if she’d said too much, but she trusted George at this point.

“What do you mean?” George said. 

“Oh. Do you remember when I asked about Evgeni, from European F3? When we were in France that one weekend, when we had breakfast together with Ryan and Ben? That weekend? Well, the day before, he said he wanted to talk to me about something, but he pinned me up against the wall of a garage and tried to get his hands on me, under my fireproofs. And then at the next race, he ran me off the track, I hit the kerb and then the wall. That ended my season. I got a broken wrist that needed surgery, a concussion, and was let go from Red Bull all in the same week. Helmut Marko fired me through voicemail. Didn’t even bother talking to me.  I wanted to quit after that. Susie visited me once I got home and convinced me to keep going.” 

“Gracious.” His voice turned sympathetic. “I remember you had to go to the hospital after that crash, but I didn’t know the rest of it.”

“Nobody really does… at least the part about Evgeni, other than Susie, my therapist, and Helmut Marko, I guess. I tried telling him to… report it, but he didn’t give a rat’s ass. He thought I was just trying to cause trouble. I didn’t even tell my parents, because I thought they’d pull me out of racing for sure.”

George was quiet, like he didn’t know what to say. “I’m sorry, I kind of sprung that on you without warning. I know it’s a lot.” 

“No,” George said. “I’m glad you told me. I just feel bad that you’ve had such a rough go of it in this sport.” 

“It has been hard, but even with all of the extra… shit, I don’t think I’d trade it for doing anything else.” 

Beauty and terror. No feeling is final.

She felt better having told someone, even after so long. It felt like she was able to put down a small part of a heavy burden that had been weighing on her heart for a while. She made a mental note to tell Natalie about this when she got a chance. 

Bee headed over to the Mercedes garage the next morning before Free Practice 3 to watch practice and qualifying. George was already there, but Bee decided she’d enjoy a little more sleep that morning.

“There’s our pole-sitter,” Toto said, as she came into the garage. “That was quite the performance you gave yesterday.” 

“Yeah! I don’t know, everything just clicked into place.” Bee said, shrugging. 

“How are you feeling about it? I know you’ve said in the past that being on pole is… not your favorite thing. It is easier to chase, of course, but most racing drivers I know are usually more excited about getting pole position.” Toto laughed a little bit. 

“I don’t know,” Bee said. “I’m not that nervous about it. I like this track.” 

“I probably shouldn’t tell you this, but your lap time yesterday was also not far off from the lap record for F2 cars.” 

Bee’s eyes went wide. “What’s the record?” 

“1:30.982.” Toto said. “Set last year by Nobuharu Matsushita.” 

Bee’s fastest lap time during qualifying was 1:30.995. It was a thin margin. It would be tough, but not impossible. Even if she had beat it yesterday, it wouldn’t have counted, as lap records couldn’t be set in practice or qualifying.

“Just don’t overcook your engine trying to go for it.” George said. He was sitting on a stool next to Valtteri’s race engineer, looking at the screens on the console. “Last year’s cars were a lot more reliable than ours are, and this track is rough for engines.”

“I won’t,” Bee said. “But how cool would that be?” 

George did have a good point though. For part of this season, they needed to do rolling starts because of reliability issues and a difficult starting procedure with the new engines. That issue seemed to be resolved, at least, for now. 

“Maybe I'll try it during the sprint race,” Bee thought. “I can push it harder with fewer laps.”

Before long, it was time for the Feature Race. Bee did not get a fantastic start, because she wasn’t used to actually starting on pole - her reaction time was a bit slower than usual. She lost three places almost immediately, but she didn’t get stressed out about it. There would be plenty of time to catch up. 

And catch up she did - she waited behind her opponents for them to start making mistakes, and took advantage of it. She flew across the line in first place, and immediately asked Geoff what her fastest lap time was. 

“That’s P1, Phoebe, another amazing run, and fastest lap! You’re absolutely screaming this weekend.”

“Thank you, but what was my fastest lap time?”

“1:30.988.” 

“Shit,” Bee thought. “So close.” 

She wasn’t even really trying to match the record then. Still, the fastest lap was a valuable extra point. And she’d have to start eighth tomorrow in the sprint race. That was okay. She’d have DRS and she’d be able to overtake.

It was an amazing run for both her and Artem, though. Artem finished second and made it so that RT had a front-row lockout. 

Bee didn’t tell anybody, not even Svetlana, that she was going for the lap record. She was afraid she would jinx it somehow. 

She got through the press conference  - the first time both her and Artem had been at one together - and headed back to her hotel room and tried not to let herself get too worked up and nervous for the next day. 

Thankfully for her nerves, the sprint race was early in the morning, so at least she’d be able to finish up sooner.

She felt considerably calmer during the start of the race than she had than the previous day - maybe she still didn’t like being on pole very much, even in Monza. She got a much better start than the previous day and popped into fourth almost immediately. She spent the next few laps hunting down the people ahead of her. First was Nicholas Latifi, then Sergio, then Artem, and then George. She felt a little bad about overtaking George, but he’d still have his lead in the championship if she won this one. And this was still a race. He’d made a small mistake into Turn 1 anyway, and had a brief lockup. Bee used the opportunity and slipped right past.

Once she’d gotten out into P1, she told her right foot to not lift unless it was absolutely necessary. She needed to go flat out until the end. If her engine was able to hang on during yesterday’s longer feature race, it should be fine today.

She was absolutely un-challenged for the remainder of the race, creating a four-second lead on George, according to Geoff. A good, quick pit stop ensured that her lead remained intact.

“Am I the fastest lap right now?” she asked Geoff, as she was starting lap 18. She had three laps left to try and make the record if she hadn’t already.

“A-firm, Phoebe, your fastest lap was 1.30.991 on lap 17.”

She felt like she was already going as fast as she could, but she desperately wanted to try and wring that final margin out of her car. She kept going. George’s gap to her was growing, which means either she was getting faster or he was falling behind. She hoped that it meant she was getting faster.

On lap 19, she checked again. “Last lap time?” 

“1.30.985. Why are you asking?”

She didn’t answer. She was finding more pace. She could lift less in the Parabolica and use the corner to gain more exit speed, but it could be a huge risk - it was easy to fling your car off into the gravel trap there if you weren’t careful. She had to go for it. She got on the throttle a little earlier and braked a hair later, hanging onto the racing line by what felt like the skin of her teeth. 

She remembered something Toto had told her about his ill-fated record attempt at the Nordschleife, about going into the Fuchsröhre  - “You just have to squeeze your arse cheeks and commit.” She hoped this wouldn’t end the same way as his ill-fated record attempt did, but it was still applicable advice.

And that’s what she did. As soon as she made it back on the straight and crossed the line, she checked again.

“Lap time?”

“1.30.899.”

“Holy shit! I fucking did it!” She fit to burst, but she still had one lap to finish. Even with a healthy lead, she could ruin everything now if she let herself get too distracted. She forced herself to take a measured breath to settle herself enough to cross the line.

“What did you -” Geoff stopped mid-sentence. He must have checked his timing sheet. “Phoebe! Phoebe Stallard! That was absolutely brilliant!”

She screamed herself near-hoarse when she crossed the line. Not only had she set down the fastest time in practice and qualifying, won the feature race and the sprint race, but she’d broken the lap record for F2 cars. It was a banner weekend.

She cried for the majority of her cooldown lap, uncontrollable tears of happiness. She had to open the visor on her helmet to try and keep the inside of it from fogging up. She drove into parc fermé and saw the entirety of her small team, in their navy blue polos, lined up at the fence. She saw Svetlana’s platinum-white hair before anything. She saw a few people in white Mercedes shirts surrounding them. She hopped out of her car, stood on its nose, and roared in triumph. George pulled in behind her, up to the second place placard. He hopped out and yanked Bee into a bear hug. “What did you just do? That was incredible! That was absolutely ace!” she thought she heard, muffled through both of their helmets. 

Once George released Bee, she sprinted toward the barrier where her team was standing. She was not tall enough, nor was the crowd big enough, to leap up over the fence rail and have her waiting team catch her, but she felt a hail of hands on her back and helmet, as her team, and some of the assembled Mercedes staff, congratulated her. Artem had finished third. He pulled Bee into a tight congratulatory hug, too. It had been an amazing weekend for them - Russian Time might not be quite the same next year, at least with a new name, but Bee had absolutely achieved her desire to send them out with a bang.

Things felt like they happened so fast - from being ushered into the cool-down room, to the podium ceremony. Bee’s first place was announced to what seemed like deafening cheers and applause. She’d never seen a crowd like this at the podium ceremony for the support race, especially because it was taking place so much earlier in the day than the Grand Prix.

She saw that more Mercedes staff had come over to cheer on her and George, including Lewis, Valtteri, Toto, and Susie. She waved to them. Geoff joined her and Artem on the podium to accept the team trophy. As the American national anthem played, she started getting emotional again. It happened yesterday during the feature race, but hearing it twice in one weekend, just for her? It was overwhelming. 

She was not to win the champagne fight. She tried, but George, Artem, and Geoff all seemed to share an agenda to absolutely drench her. She didn’t stand a chance. 

After the press conference, she had decided to go back to the hotel and shower and change before heading back to the track to watch the Grand Prix - it would not feel good to be sticky with champagne for the rest of the day.

She got a WhatsApp message while she was drying off after her shower. George had sent her an article from an Italian-language racing blog. It was an article about the F2 series for the weekend, and apparently, she had gained yet another nickname this weekend, at least amongst the Italian motorsport press. 

“La Vespa di Monza.”

She had to use Google translate, because she only knew “Vespa” as a brand of scooters - she found out that apparently, it means “wasp”.

She was now, apparently, The Wasp of Monza. No longer merely a bee. Just as Sebastian was known as The Lion of Singapore, and Daniel Ricciardo was known as The Honey Badger.

She laughed. It was perfect. 

Bonus: 2018 Round 10 Sprint Race Press Conference

Tom Clarkson: Welcome to the FIA Formula 2 Championship press conference for today’s sprint race at the Autodromo di Monza: joining us today are some familiar faces from yesterday’s Feature Race. First, we have race winner Phoebe Stallard from Russian Time, in second place we have George Russell from ART Grand Prix, and in the third place we have Artem Markelov, also from Russian Time. A huge congratulations to you, Phoebe, for a stunning weekend here at The Temple of Speed. Not only did you net your first win of the season here, but your second overall career win at Monza, having won the Feature race in GP3 last season. You also won the Feature race yesterday, set the fastest lap in both races, and, we’ve now officially confirmed, set a new lap record for F2 at the track. You were sensational this weekend - how are you feeling?

Phoebe Stallard: I don’t think “amazing” even would begin to cover it. I was fairly confident coming into this weekend because, as I said yesterday, Monza is one of my favorite tracks, but everything just seemed to come into alignment for me. The car felt great, even though this track can be rough on them, and the crew was on their A-game. I don’t know if it was just luck, or if it was just my turn to shine weekend, but it’s definitely been a weekend to remember.

Tom Clarkson: We could hear on your team radio that you kept asking for your lap time toward the end of the race. It seems like you knew you were near the record. What made you decide to try to break last year’s record time, set by Nobuharu Matsushita last year?

Phoebe Stallard: I almost don’t want to say because I don’t want Toto to get in trouble with Susie, but - [laughter from room] while we were talking after qualifying the other day, he was like, “You know, you’re not too far off of the record lap time for F2 cars here”. He told me what the record was, I realized my time from qualifying was pretty close, and I had less of a chance of grenading my engine if I went for it during the sprint race. I didn’t even tell my team what I was doing, and I was just trying to squeeze out that final margin on lap 20, and then I’d had it. 

Tom Clarkson: George, a strong fight up the grid today but a small mistake at turn 1 that opened the door for Phoebe to get through. Are you happy with your second podium of the weekend?

George Russell: Yeah, it was a pretty good race, it was tricky. I think Phoebe would have gotten through regardless of my lockup, because she was absolutely on fire this weekend. Still, I thought it was a good race, a lot of wheel-to-wheel action between me and Artem. For a while, we were kind of yo-yoing around and playing a little bit of DRS chicken, but I was able to pull away from that one-second gap at the end and then I knew I’d had it.

Tom Clarkson: We’ve got a bit of a break before the next round in Sochi. What will you be doing to prepare for that, and the closing rounds of the season? You’re currently in the lead of the championship race, as a rookie. How are you feeling about that?

George: Well, most of my time is taken up by simulator work for Mercedes, helping to prepare their car for their races, and the Formula 1 team is at such a high standard that it’s almost like you’re driving a real car, so it’s almost like real seat time. I’ll be spending time with them, going to a race, and I’m sure the time will go quickly. And I’m feeling pretty good about the next two rounds. It’s been a really great season, and I have the support of a strong team behind me, so we’ll see what happens.

Tom Clarkson: Artem, a strong fight up the grid today, but George was able to squeeze by. Nevertheless, are you happy with your second podium of the weekend?

Artem: Yeah, it was a good race. It was tricky, I made a few small mistakes, but I’m really happy to be on the podium with my teammate, Phoebe again, especially after she had such a good weekend. And starting the sprint race from the reverse grid is always a little tricky, but our team did a huge amount of work overnight for this, so I am very pleased with the result. 

Tom Clarkson: You’re well known for being able to preserve your tyres, but you seemed to be struggling with them a little today: was that the case?

Artem: Yeah, I was starting to struggle a bit at the end of the race when I was trying to catch George! I was trying to catch him but made a little mistake and it started to destroy the tyres in turns 6 and 7, so it was hard to get closer and it meant I couldn’t keep up at the exit of the corners, and then it was too late.

Tom Clarkson: And finally, back to you, Phoebe. Same question I gave George, what will you be doing to prepare for the next two rounds of the season?

Phoebe: Same thing as George, actually. A lot of sim work for Mercedes, probably, and probably working with a trainer as well to help get ready for end-of-season testing. It’s such a cool experience getting to help with the preparation and setup for the Formula 1 car, and that sim time has been invaluable this season as far as my own racing goes.

Next Chapter

[izartn]

I didn't write anything when I finished alchemy of souls bc I was so so angry and sad about the sexism and how the whole season 2 went. Like. You could kinda see the writing in the wall in season 1 re:female charas but at least they were treating Naksu!Cho Yeong more or less well, despite the increased importance of Jang Uk role she was the one leading him on and they were partners.

And then boom. Season 2. Where mostly she's like, cutified into the nice female interest who so often seems a child in Asian romances. Yikes. And then she doesn't fight anymore. Like ever. Or gets much agency of her own.

I'm also angry at Soi'i death, bc Seo Yul is such a bland stupid guy in general and didn't deserve that devotion and even less her dying for him, angry at the way the show never addressed Park Jin culpability and treatment of Jang Uk and how he gets scot free with his romance with Servant Kim, when he has treated so badly her adopted son and then never told her anything about what was happening when the problems affected her too, only to be shown jealous of how she prioritizes Jang Uk, like fuck you Park Jin you have the spine of an overcooked noodle no wonder Jang Gang was your bestie... Rancid vibes.

Angry at Heo YoonOk and Jin Choyeon being treated as the mean/stupid girls, and in Heo case as the absurdly jealous one as well, when they could been so much more interesting and better characterized as people.

Etc, etc.

Enjoyed the season 1 and season 2 was watchable, and the fics are nice, but i'm not tuning in again at anything else those Hong writers do bc it's apparently a pattern they have with female charas and nice concepts, and fuck the status quo return they love I won't do this to myself.

[scientistofdeduction]

Ok lots of people are talking about how the Holmes canon will be in public domain and how NOW they can publish queer Holmes books

But

It’s been that way. Besides the fact that the stories under UK law have been in public domain, it was only a few stories still under copyright in the US. But that also hasn’t stopped anyone from publishing the kind of Holmes content they wanted in the meantime.

Queer Holmes stories have been in print. Queer, lesbian Holmes and Watson has been in print. Black Holmes and Watson. Hell, super weird but very good Holmes stories have been in print and on screen. The kind of stuff you wouldn’t expect to see from something not in the public domain. You want Holmes is a distant relative of Dracula? Holmes and his cousin go meet the Phantom of the Opera? Holmes spends his time during Hiatus in Japan solving political problems? Kids Holmes lives on the streets, apprentices to an apothecary and solves crimes facing off against kid moriarty? Holmes battles Jack the Ripper? Holmes universe as dogs done in part by Hayao Miyazaki? All there.

The thing is, because the last few stories were not in public domain, the Doyle Estate would threaten to sue large mainstream productions over dumb stuff because of this (see how the first Enola Holmes was threatened as such because Holmes was “too nice”). Leslie S Klinger (literal giant in the Holmesian world) did a great job over the years with the free Sherlock campaign in making sure anyone and everyone could work on Holmes stories (“Holmes belongs to the world”) one of his own story collections was threatened with lawsuit which spurred him along.

When BBC’s Sherlock left a bad taste in most queer fan’s mouths, it was a fear of mine that many excellent creators and writers would cease to create Holmes content because they’d wanted so much out of one adaptation instead branching out into the wonderful huge (HUGE) world that is Sherlock Holmes. For a while that seems to happen, and it was with dismay that I felt I wouldn’t see the large amount of queer Sherlock Holmes novels traditionally published in print and bookstores and online that I was dreaming of. But I did see glimpses here and there. A number of books, and short stories. Not the influx I’d wanted and most not be people who’d been deep into the Sherlock era of our little hobby. But it was a start.

I banged around with a queer retelling of STUD in my brain for a while since Sherlock ended, but hadn’t been in the right space to write it yet. Coincidentally, I’ve been working on it this past year (my Holmes is 28 when he meets Watson and as I am 28 now, I told myself I better damn well get a move on with it) around this same time when everyone else is talking of finally writing queer Holmes.

I hope everyone who is posting about the copyright ending does go on to write more. Seriously, I want to post an update about how mine is going and see 20-40 people or more talking about their own versions! Selfishly, I want more than anything to step through the mystery (or fantasy or sci-if) sections of my local bookshop, pull a book based on that feeling I get from a spine and see Sherlock Holmes, and read the jacket summery to see it’s a queer version. Selfishly I want those whose fanfics and content I enjoyed over the years to go absolutely wild writing this stuff so I can buy it. It could’ve been like this for a long time and I really hope we can all make up for lost time quickly.