#stabby qualities?

[lurkingindoorways]

Needles is like if Michael Distortion focused more on the stabb!ng part of being an avatar, rather than the delusion

[piscoyt]

the mrst/endless compilations i've been talking about for months! it's here!

big thanks to @dragonpuff17 for finding like 80% of the clips <3

funny screenshot as a bonus :3

[imtooobsessedrn]

Who's the murderer??

[scramble-eg]

stabby stab stab

killer kjsdkfjsdklj

i gave up like half way but here jksjshdjahjhsdkahsh

killer by rahafwabas

[directdogman]

please dogfather. I beg of thee to give random facts about background/minor characters .. I love them all so much ,,

Alright, alright, just this once.

The reason Stabby + Shooty don't know off-hand which of them is which during Norm's route is because they have nicknames for each other, which they exclusively use to refer to each other. (Well, that and 'bro', which both say way too much.)

Ticket Jerry actually writes in his spare time, but never shows it to anyone because he's too much of a perfectionist and never happy with his own work.

Tango is actually the most powerful person in Dialtown without exception. Yes, that includes Mingus, since she defers to him to carry out her most important orders, which she trusts he'll carry out to her exact specifications. The fact that literally nobody in-game has copped this is a testament to the quality of his character.

God has seen a live nuclear detonation and thinks about it every single day.

[chi-the-idiot]

A little Stabby-ing never killed anyone, right?

(Click for higher quality!!)

[yukina-otome]

Chevalier Romantic route rantings

Warning: This post contains spoilers about Chevalier Michel's route. More specifically his Romantic ending.

Sooooo, it is extremly rare for me to criticise Cheva's content. After all, as his absolute stan, i love everything this man does.

BUT i admit that I am not a fan of his romantic ending.

The reason is simple. But first of all a little summary of the events, for does who do not remember or for does who have not played the route but dont mind spoilers.

MC is with everyone at the battlefield. The campement where she is, is attacked and this is when the two ending branches.

In this I will only discuss the romantic one.

So, in the romantic ending, MC gets stabbed by a poisoned knife by the anti war faction and obsidian. They use her as a hostage and says 'if you want the antidote you gotta hand her off'. But Genius Cheva figures out the poison and have the antidote made badabim badaboum.

(Honestly I would have prefered it here if Clavis was the one who found the antidote, and Cheva being impressed by his brother's abilities, after all Clavis was the one who has been studying poisons. But this is not what this post is about so let's no dwell on that)

So MC is cured, Cheva goes to beat the anti war faction with his FIST, because MC says no Stabby stabby. And he somehow makes Obsidian sign a peace treaty and VOILA, war is over.

(Yes, the political plot of this game is extremely stupid, DO NOT start me on that, or this post will never end)

Soooo, MC and Cheva goes back to the castle, where MC is healing. Chevalier stays by her side most of the time as they spend quality time together. And before they know it, there only very few days left before MC has to choose a king, leave the castle and never see cheva again.

So MC asks Chevalier for one last favor, she wants him to dance with her. He accepts and they head to the ballroom where they have a very impactfull moment where MC tells him she is gonna choose HIM as a king and she tells him her reasons which leaves him speechless and i would say touched.

After that there dance ends, and MC start acting like Booboo the clown as she starts rambling, she tells cheva they should have a meal together sometimes before she leaves and turn away from him to hide her tears.

As of now, everything is fine. I have no objections to this developpement. But this is where it ticks me off.

Cheva hug MC from behind and literally ask her TO SLEEP WITH HIM!

Yes yes, he says dinner but he says he is famished and his hand touch mc's body subjectivly.

MC might be as dense as the mariana trench but she's not stupid and she agrees to the hanky panky.

And BIM BADABOUM they smash, in the trill of the action, mc asks him if he will remember her and he says NO which is obviously a lie. And that's literally it. They separate for a year and you guys know the rest.

Now you might ask, what do you not like about this, Yuki?

And i would say many things:

First, HOW DARE HE ASKS HER FOR HER FIRST TIME JUST LIKE THAT, MY CHEVA WOULD NEVER WTF. Remember everyone, this is not 21st century, it's literally around 1500 and around then a woman virginity was EVERYTHING to her. I was like well maybe the ikepri author created the ikepri universe differently and its not a big deal but silvio's romantic ending proved otherwise. I'm not gonna go into the details, i'll just say a woman first time is IMPORTANT. And Cheva most likely knew that. He would never ask her for it in such a way. Specially knowing he could not be her lover. It was one night only between them.

Also it is very irrational and the way cheva asked for it seemed calculated which i hate. I mean, there are no contraception during that era. Surely both knew what could happen after that night.

Then there is how that first time was written. It was only a few sentences and during the whole act MC was crying and all while Cheva was all smug saying 'You like that, don't you?'. I would have liked it if he showed some vulnerability in that moment. And don't tell me 'This is cheva we are talking about, he is not capable of doing that', he actually did in the dramatic ending.

This was supposed to be such an angsty dramatic scene, if only they gave it more attention it would have gave his route more dept and made the ending all the more satisfying.

THIS is how I think things should have happened:

-After the dance, MC still acts the same and says they should have a meal together.

-Chevalier agrees and says then let's have dinner together.

-MC accepts and they have dinner in his room. MC is nervous since this is her first time alone with him in her room since he knows of her feelings and it makes her hyperaware of him. Specially that whenever she look up at him she sees he is already staring at her. Like he wants to commit her to his memory.

-Cheva sees that and starts talking about a new book to calm her down.It works and soon enough they are sitting together on his bed and reading the book together in silence.

-Chevalier's reading speed is higher than hers and whenever he is done he just stares at her as he waits for her to finish the page.

-MC finish a page and look up toward Chevalier to see if he's done with it, but when she does he is already looking at her and there eyes meet.

-They stare at each others soul for a very long time in silence before they kiss, none of them knowing who made the first move.

-The kiss soon turn into a full makeout session on Chevalier's bed and the book fall to the floor in a tud.

-This bring Chevalier to his senses, it is not like him to act so irrationnaly.

-He pulls away from MC, but she pulls him back and that was all he needed for his logical facade to snap.

-They make love and as MC cry her heart out she sees that Cheva's usual ice cold expression is nowhere to be seen.

-His walls are completely gone and at that moment she has the REAL Chevalier in front of her.

She says she loves him but he does not answer her back. He knows that if he says it, it's gonna make even more difficult for her, so he just hugs her to him instead.

And that's how it ends.

What do you guys think? I'm really interested in you guys's opinion on this topic.

[dangerphd]

TIME FOR ANOTHER ART ROUNDUP! 🤩🥰🤗

big thank you to @emmalerae for the butterfly stegosaurus prints! one for me and one for another spring birthday in the fam! 🥳

worth the wait: bright splashes of color to distribute around the house in the form of quilted coasters from @creations-by-chaosfay! it's like having a pile of tactile joy!🌈🦄

when I ordered the cutest lil duck cup for my desk, I had no idea @alunimoon would doodle me a personal Danger Duck and I LOVE HIM. so stabby: can practically hear him quacking "do you wanna get cut?!" the cup finish is satiny and the quality is fantastic. the shape of his body is satisfying just to hold but also looks great full of knitting needles 😊

at the intersection of art and geology/chemistry is @muddypyro : I am so fascinated by the various glaze experiments and beautiful results! the cups are either *perfectly* round and friend-shaped, or super-interestingly dimpled and symmetrically pinched and as much fun to hold and turn over in the hand as to gaze upon.

[sixofravens-reads]

re: 2023 new releases. hope you're ready for a long message because there were a lot.

hot new releases/things that were relatively popular

He Who Drowned The World, Shelley Parker Chan (Chinese mythological historical, very gay, very stabby a la Baru Cormorant. Book 2 of 2. A particular favorite of mine from this year)

Witch King, Martha Wells (New fantasy book by author of murderbot fame. I didn't actually click with this one but I'd be remiss to leave it off)

House With Good Bones, T Kingfisher (Southern gothic rose horror by the very talented Ursula Vernon)

Translation State, Ann Leckie (high sf alien horror regency romance. Wheeeeee. I had a lot of fun reading this. You can read it as a standalone, but you get deeper context if you've read the ancillary justice series, also highly recommended)

Will of the Many, James Islington (futuristic roman empire aesthetic rigged murder school. Not precisely good but appallingly catchy, I read all six hundred pages in pretty much one sitting. If you liked red rising you'll like this, if you hated red rising you will Not)

OH YEAH THE ACTUAL NEW MURDEBOT NOVEL (System Collapse)

A Power Unbound, Freya Marske (book 3 of 3, magic alt edwardian romances with murder. This is more romance proper but it's about equal with the action plot and Marske is very good. I don't think you've read these so you'd have to start at book 1)

Some Desperate Glory, Emily Tesh (The book that absolutely knocked my socks off, my pick for the best sff release of the year. I forget if I've already told you about this one)

Starling House, Alix Harrow (Southern gothic house drama. Similar feel to Ninth House or The Book of Night)

The Adventures of Amina al-Sirafi, Shannon Chakraborty (Divorced lady pirate adventure-drama a la Arabian Nights.)

Emily Wilde's Encyclopaedia of Faeries, Heather Fawcett (Charming, heavily fairy tale trope themed, vaguely reminiscent of the Lady Trent books)

more obscure new releases from this year that I thought were cool, but not in the Hot New Reads You Can't Miss Because Everyone's Read Them category

Under Fortunate Stars, Ren Hutchings (sf timey wimey space shenanigans with aliens. Immensely cool premise.)

Small Miracles, Olivia Atwater (fallen angel sent to tempt a too good mortal. Extremely charming)

The King Is Dead, Naomi Libicki (vaguely persian flavored fealty romance, very heavy to the fealty. Original, thorny, and intriguing)

The Deep Sky, Yume Kitasei (What if we terribly traumatized everyone going on a generation ship by making them go to viciously competitive boarding school together and then act surprised when a murder mystery occurs. Heads up that it's more interested in the human drama than the SF worldbuilding)

The Saint of Bright Doors, Vajra Chandrasekera (early modern fantasy world anti-imperialism fever dream narrated by a cult survivor. Brilliantly written, spectacularly original, one of the best books I read this year)

Things for 2024, content warning for being (obviously) things I haven't read and thus without quality control

The Warm Hands of Ghosts, Katherine Arden

The Familiar, Leigh Bardugo

The Dead Cat Tail Assassins, P Djeli Clark

Long Live Evil, Sarah Rees Brennan

Goddess of the River, Vaishnavi Patel

The Woods All Black, Lee Mandelo

Exordia, Seth Dickinson

A Sorceress Comes To Call, T Kingfisher

Running Close To The Wind, Alexandra Rowland

Wow tumblr just lets me keep writing words. I didn't think they let me have this many in asks. Oh, and pro tip-- keep an eye out for tordotcom's most anticipated upcoming books for the first six months of 2024. They should be publishing it within the next week or so and I always add masses of books to my tbr from there.

oh holy crap, thanks!! I'll have to check these out!

thoughts on a few of em:

He Who Drowned The World - still have to read She Who Became the Sun lol but hopefully I'll get to em next year!

Witch King - Martha Wells has been recced by like All my sci-fi mutuals now lmao I REALLY gotta get into her!

House With Good Bones - THIS ONE IS ACTUALLY ON MY SHELF!! I just didn't fucking read it this year whoops. Very excited for new Kingfisher

Starling House - I was on the fence about this one since I really didn't like Once and Future Witches, but those comparisons give me hope! I'll add it to the library list!

Some Desperate Glory and Emily Wilde's Encyclopaedia of Faeries are 2/3 of the books published in 2023 that I actually managed to read (the 3rd is The Woman in Me lmao), I can't remember if you recc'd Some Desperate Glory, but it was SOOOOOOOO GOOD OMFG

Small Miracles - my aunt has been trying to convince me to read Atwater for quite a while, I'll have to give this one a try!

The Saint of Bright Doors - I have this one on hold!! Saw a post for it a week or so ago and it sounds absolutely delightful!

The Familiar - SO SO EXCITED for this one! I hope Bardugo is maybe...slowly....extricating herself from the Grishaverse and going to write more books not related to it... (not that they're all bad, I loved the Six of Crows duology, I'm just not into it anymore and I reeeealllly like her adult books lol)

Running Close To The Wind - oh yay new Rowland! I still haven't read her last book (the one with the guy on the cover who looked EXACTLY like my boss to the point where it became an Office Meme that [Boss] Is A Gay Romance Cover Model, still meaning to get a UK version of it but haven't yet) but I'll have to look this one up!

[piscoyt]

normal behaviour from me

[sepia-stained-sunset]

In a world where Talia broke free of her father and became a superhero, what do you think her name would be? I'm partial to Shrike because 1. A fanfic I read had that as her name, and 2. It's a bird, but a really stabby one

Oooh okay I do love the name 'Shrike' and the fact that it's silver like Talia's armour and my favourite outfit of hers (the silver business suit is just perfect) is super cute, plus my headcanon is that she has a lovely singing voice and sings Damian to sleep every night with a different lullaby, so the fact that shrikes are songbirds seems fitting (also please, please drop the fic name I'd love to check out vigilante! Talia AUs👀👀👀)

Personally, I kinda headcanon her vigilante name as being 'Lady Gotham'.

Why?

Because she literally personifies so many of the qualities Gotham possesses; resilience, love even in the face of enormous tragedy and sacrifice, and hope even in the darkest hours.

Also, since Bruce fits into the knight archetype, it would be really cute giving her a moniker that links the two of them and also speaks volumes about the amount of love and devotion they have for each other.

Bonus:

A couple of panels of her being called 'lady Talia', since everyone in canon already agrees she's everything😌😌😌

[it-may-be-dull-but-im-determined]

is Farscape the sort of thing that takes a few episodes to find its groove? should i be patient if we're not besties right away?

(i'm prone to snap judgements and don't want to make a mistake here)

Ahhhh so Farscape can be a WILDLY interesting study in complete contradictions. I agree with everything Cat Valente says is brilliant about it in this thread and this very long and detailed essay about why you should watch Farscape and yet also I will sit there fast-forwarding great chunks of season one especially because the quality control from episode to episode is so wildly variable. When I say variable, I mean some episodes feel embarrassingly amateur at times, especially after twenty something years of higher budget, vaguely more evolved TV SF. Occasionally it doesn't know what show it's trying to be, or what show it was the previous episode. It has a terrible weakness for bad puns in episode titles. It can be trite. It can feel weirdly childish, for a show that is frequently about aliens fucking. It's really really very silly on occasion and I have a particularly very low tolerance for second hand embarrassment. Farscape can be frequently embarrassing, but the fact I'm still flailing about it after twenty something years despite that is kind of significant.

Because when it's good, it's so incredibly fucking high quality excellent. It's got all the chemistry, all the high stakes heists and the high melodrama sacrifice, all the dealing with grief and trauma and how do you deal with a legacy of repeated genocide and fascism. Everyone is a space criminal on a stolen sentient prison ship. What the fuck even is the greater good. How do you deal with being a parent. Most of the cast are emoting through inch thick layers of foam latex and the other half are wearing fetish gear (OR THEY'RE PUPPETS. OR CGI ORGANIC SENTIENT SPACESHIPS), but they're really fucking good at said emoting and it's still heartbreaking. It's been twenty years and I will still start crying if I so much as hear the season three version of the theme tune (oh god the theme song evolution).

The silly episodes throughout season one are even weirder because it does pretty much find its feet straightaway with the pilot ep - it's snappy and emotional and charming and clever, and yes the tropes are there but the tropes didn't have quite the same level of tired significance back in 1999? I watched that first ep and was cackling over how fucking fantastic it was. It was such a refreshing change in 1999 that it sailed me through any of the occasionally dodgy stuff that followed.

It's also very very... Aussie, which to me covers a lot of the humour and the sheer demented glee of what the creators wanted to run with? The cast has chemistry, in spades, and the characters flirt and fuck (and... one of them is a hot blue zen plant priestess who orgasms in bright light. Obviously.) and everything is just a little bit.. extra. It has an episode where everyone is a loony tunes cartoon. It has an episode inspired by A Clockwork Orange. It has small stabby robots. It's squelchy and makes fart jokes ALL THE TIME (mostly because one of the main puppets is a former emperor who farts helium and okay yep it's pretty funny. The other puppet is wise and kind and troubled and possibly complicit in war crimes. This fucking show I can't even).

...I'm just going to apologise for this essay, and say probably go read the Cat Valente thing because it includes much more key whether you should in fact watch Farscape information such as:

“They’re all gonna be Australian or Kiwi! Except for one guy! It’s basically gonna be a tour of Sydney’s underground club scene, even for the smallest parts! And I mean that, everyone is going to be wearing leather BDSM gear 24/7, even the heroes. I’M TELLIN’ YA WE GOT MAGDA SZUBANSKI! THIS THING IS GOLD! Literally, the whole color palette is like really gold. With most of a Crayola box taped on top of it. SPACE IS AUSTRALIAN NOW. ALL OF IT. DEAL WITH IT.”

there will be an almost unbelievable amount of goo involved. Like if there is a Goo Department, and anyone is left over after Nickelodeon’s job fair last week, we need all the goo.”

“Because of all the sex and violence that just barely doesn’t cross the decency lines we’re still kind of feeling out right now?”

“That, too. But mostly because we need all the makeup and then after we’re done turning regular humans a TON of nutbar colors, everything else is going to be just…dripping. All the time. Just drenched in slime. Good slime, bad slime, it will constantly be hard to say. But it’s like Coco Chanel always said, before you leave the house, look in the mirror and upend a bucket of colorful sludge over your head.”

[1-up-chump]

Mortal kombat MK 2 roster general SFW relationship HC

Kung lao

This boy deserves so much love so if you give it to him he'll go above and beyond for you. Seriously all you have to do is give him a little kiss and suddenly he feels he can take on all the realms, you give him strength and honestly that's all that matters. He's not afraid to show off his affection to you, a bit unorthodox for a monk but then again, mortal kombat is no place for any other kind of monk than liu kang and kung lao. So he literally is the exception. Not that anything would ever stop him from declaring how proud he is to be yours.

Kung lao likes giving gifts but frets over it more than he should, its something he wants to be "perfect" something that exactly shows how much he loves you. He settles on simple, thoughtful gifts. Expect something handmade, he likes to actually make little wooden figures so expect a small little carving of your favorite animal (no he doesn't use his hat to carve them. Although he'd probably try if you asked him to)

Kung lao would die for you, much to your and his allies screaming "PLEASE DON'T" but don't be too alarmed because he is a shaolin warrior who won't go down easy. Even if you can perfectly defend yourself, kung lao would still fight for you regardless.

Jax

THIS MAN DESERVES LOVE AND PEACE AND HAPPINESS you are quite literally the light of his life and jax will make sure you know it. Everyone else be damned, he is a loyal husband material guy. 100% to settle down with you

Very simple, sweet "klassic" gifts like flowers and chocolates and those funny little dog cards with the hearts and everything. But ultimately he's more of an "acts of service" guy, jax would rather just do things for you to show he loves you. Especially massages, he's really good at giving massages (he also likes receiving too so don't forget~)

Don't mess with jax's sweetheart like seriously, anything bad happens to you there will be hell to pay. And jax will personally get a few extra punches in the sorry person's face just for you. But ultimately he just wants you to be safe and happy

Kitana

In public, kitana is a bit more reserved to keep up appearances but she certainly won't deny you a kiss on the hand. In private she's much more verbal and expect a lot more kisses too.

Kitana likes giving gifts but spending quality time is mostly her love language. Since she's busy most of the time, time is more valuable than any mere gift. But if you do receive any gifts, they're going to be luxurious

Mileena

Mileena is going to be very affectionate with her sweetie, so if anyone else even gives you a suggestive look or a judgmental glare she's going to bite their throat out. Mileena may lick others to make them squick before stabbing them, but mileena will lick you with love and affection.

Mileena loves to give you cute gifts, she likes cute things. Expect a lot of plushies and sweets. But mileena also expects a lot of cute gifts in return, if you want her to be happy and not "stabby" give her some candy and a soft teddy bear. She also likes to kill for you if you're into that

No one is going to keep their flesh on their body and hurt you at the same time. Mileena is fiercely protective of the one who looks at her bare face and calls her pretty in the most sincere way. She is literally ride or die, and the "die" part is gonna be someone else eventually

Baraka

Why you're with baraka no one knows. But baraka takes the relationship seriously, there is definitely going to be some "culture shock" but if you are going to win Baraka's heart, you definitely have to be interested in his culture. Which is brutal but not always so surprisingly, as with anything, they're not total savages to the point like others describe tarkatans. So having an open mind to understand that they are a violent meat eating people they also are nomadic and have a very close bond with each other

Expect meat to be the main gift you're getting, raw or otherwise. Although baraka isn't much of the gift giving type, he actually likes talking with you more than anything. But as for the nicest gift you'll get? A flute made out of the bones of your (or his) enemy.

Baraka expects you to defend yourself but he won't stand for anyone hurting you. No one expected baraka to be so vicious for someone else, but that is their last mistake.

Kintaro

(Im sorry kintaro lovers this was the only good solo gif i could find of him)

Kintaro is mostly the same as goro in terms of showing affection, the only difference being he is much more "possessive" and prone to jealousy than goro. He's going to have a certain "aggression" to his affections

Don't expect any gifts that isn't the heads of your or his enemies. He mostly a physical kind of affectionate guy anyways. Although his one weakness is chin scratches, do what you will with that information.

Whoever is dumb enough to piss off kintaro by hurting their lover is going to have 0 limbs attached to their body, that is if they don't get burnt to a crisp and smashed to a gooey paste first

Shao kahn

You must have done something right (or wrong) to earn shao Kahn's love. But you're definitely going to get shown off by shao kahn just like he shows off his literally everything else. He loves to brag and especially about his lover

You literally can have anything you want, say the words and its yours by any means necessary. Although shao kahn expects a little something in return, what that is depends on his mood. Even to his lover, he's gotta have something too. Even if you don't ask for anything, you're getting something. Whether that be jewelry, clothes, treasures of all kinds, rare exotic meals. Basically anything he conquers, you're getting the good stuff (providing of course there's enough for him too)

No one is going to dare hurt you or use you against him. Shao Kahn is sure to make anyone suffer a fate worse than death for such an insult. Anything bad happening to you is very personal. Although even if you're minorly upset at something, shao kahn has no qualms to just killing whoever made you upset right off the bat. So maybe you'll have to be careful if you don't want that absolutely unnecessary and dramatic gore fest

[howlingday]

Emperor Jaune & Guardian Pyrrha 3

Cook Ren's latest invention:

Ren: (Holding meat aloft by the rope knot) And so, with this new curing method, we can preserve higher quality meat for a longer duration of time.

Ren: Any questions?

Jaune: How much wou-

Pyrrha: Why does that knot turn me on, and how do I get my lover to use it on me?

---------------------------------------------------

Wheresoever the winds blow:

Ruby: (Marching along the ranks of infantry, Gentle breeze blows) The Brothers favor our march...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Blake: (Sailing across the storming seas, Clinging to the mast) BROTHERS, PLEASE! CALM THE FUCK DOWN!

---------------------------------------------------

Unfriendly competition:

Jaune: Listen up! There's a barbarian tribe outside the city. Our mission is to locate them, confiscate their weapons, and slaughter any who refuse. Understood?

Ruby: Understood, my lord!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Jaune: OPEN UP!

Ruby: Stabby time! Hee hee!

Jaune: Surrender your weapons, or perish!

Nora: I can't! The other guys already took them!

Jaune: THEN PAY WITH YOUR- Wait, what?

FWEET!

Velvet: Oi! You got a license for that knife?!

---------------------------------------------------

The barbarians were all too eager to give up:

Jaune: Your clan has been conquered. Do not shame yourself any further-

Nora: AHN~! Harder, Daddy~!

Jaune: Uuuuuuuuugh...

[popcornforone]

The Interview

Part of the Attending Mr York Fan Fic Series

Master list

I just couldn’t put the Dave I created down. You got the last chapter in April of the original story but I actually finished writing it in March, & I missed him & the little world I created for them. So here I am back with my Stabby… ready for more fun.

Synopsis: You’ve applied for a housekeeper & Nanny job that you know you won’t get, but the perks & money were to tempting to not go for. So your shocked when your asked to come & be interviewed at the York residence, & meet the family who’s needs you will be attending.

Word count: 3200

Warnings: this is tame for me & Dave. Swearing & alcohol, pining, imagining what Dave might do to you, descriptions of oral sex are mentioned, along with blood, cuts, injuries & sick.This is the first time you come across Dave so it’s rather soft. However the rest of the series won’t be & as always DAVE YORK COMES WITH HIS OWN WARNING!

Thanks as always for the read people, all feedback is always welcome

Job interviews are never the easiest thing in the world, for a normal job. You never know if the vibe is going to click & if you will just get on, & be the person they are looking for. However this interview is one that you don’t think you will get, not in 100 years. You’re not really qualified for it but the perks that come with the job are most intriguing & you knew it was too good an opportunity to miss out on applying for. You were shocked when you got a phone call from them to say they wanted to speak to you. Obviously The Yorks have seen a quality in your cv that they think will suit this role.

Finding The York residency is easy. Considering what they want & how on the application they have described their lives, you thought they would have a much grander house in a much more affluent area. But here you are on a Wednesday afternoon, pulling up across their drive looking at this family home, which doesn’t look like it’s rather special but does seem homely from the outside. You make sure your hair is okay & that your outfit isn’t creased. You’ve worn a day dress but one that’s easy to move about in, if they tell you to go & interact with their kids. After all this is a job for a Nanny & House Keeper, surly whatever kids they have, must like you if your to get the job, not that you think you stand any chance of getting it at all.

You hear the doorbell echo across the house as you press it & wait patiently for someone to greet you, admiring the pot plants by the path. The front door opens & you are greeted by name “welcome, im Carol, we spoke on the phone last week, thank you for coming to listen to us” she says as she welcomes you in & you shake her hand. “My husband is just finishing a phone call but he will join us shortly, come with me to the kitchen, would you like water, tea or coffee?” Mrs York asks ushering you in & taking your coat. The house is homely but there’s no art on the wall, everything is very clean & white & in its right place. Clearly Mrs York likes this, it’s all very to the point & perfect. Until you get to the kitchen.

It’s a grand kitchen. A walk in pantry, an island counter with low lights hanging down, perfect for entertaining, a little kids play area a few steps down, a sofa & a round table which you can tell has been cleaned for this chat today. It’s too clean. This is clearly where their life happens & you suddenly feel very at home in this room. This is where memories are made for the Yorks. You watch as Carol makes you coffee & just have a nice chat about your drive & the weekend thats been & the next one to come.

“Sorry darling, you know how Daniels gets in the phone” a voice bellows from behind you which came from nowhere. It’s deep & sharp & you turn around to introduce yourself & shake his hand, but instead you almost drop your coffee cup. You’re frozen to the spot. You don’t believe in love at first sight, but you now think lust at first touch might be true. Large & broad, towering above you. His eyes dancing across you looking for any hit of weakness & vulnerability. His light blue shirt & dark pants are crisp, that belt buckle is polished & shoes so shiny you could see your face in them. Those eyes that are giving you the once over, are dark pools of delight. Rich caramels, taking in every inch of his prospective house keeper. Clean shaven as his large hand goes around his neck into this thick dark short hair. Those lips probably smile & seduce but the sternness in his face makes you think they haven’t smiled in a while. He has a mysterious aura around him, one of danger & to not get too close. But you can’t help it, the second his hand firmly shakes yours, you are his. It doesn’t matter his wife is standing next to you answering him back, you’re transfixed on her husband & you need to snap out of the trance quickly. “I’m Mr York… David York”

The next few minutes are a blur, watching this powerful man, who has somehow in all of 5 words, got all the power in the world over you. You’d do anything for this man, & you have only met him for a few minutes. The way he hold his mug, that chiseled jaw extending, the way he slurps his coffee. Seeing his lips kiss his wife’s cheek, you feel jealous. & that’s what makes you snap out of your trance, that & Carols voice asking you “come sit down deary, we can then go though your cv together.” You remember where you are & you join Mr & Mrs York at the circular table to discuss why you are even a candidates for this job. This does mean facing David & making eye contract as you answer his questions. Maybe you can just focus on Carol, not that you think you can actually concentrate on anything at all.

You take your seat ready for their questions. You look nervous but you can easily pass it on for interview nerves, not the fact that the man sitting opposite you is stunningly handsome & that you are wondering how good his plump lips would feel on your pussy, lapping away at your clit as you beg him for more. You need to remember why you are here, for an interview, not to gawp at your possible employer.

“So…” Carols starts with some pretty mundane questions about your back ground & education, all the old chestnuts from a classic interview. You answer them well & you see David roll his eyes a little at them. At question 5 he interjects.

“Why apply for this role?” He asks “clearly your into art, graphics & design, your cv screams it, why apply to be a house keeper?” He has a very good point & it throws you a little bit, but you have a prepared answer which probably isn’t one that they will appreciate but is honest.

“The job said beck & call but free time & support whenever it’s needed. Most normal jobs want a 8:30 to 6 that I apply for. Once you add a commute & eating in, that’s no home time. Here you have said weekends & yea there are early starts but you said support in whatever else I need. I’m sure that there will be days you just need me to pick your kids up & do dinner & some days when you need me to stay over, but I’m sure that when I’m not needed I would have the time to create some art, get my creative juices flowing again. I also think it would be good for your kids if you allowed them, to join me working on my art. A good creative outlet from them, let them find another type of inspiration.” David looks inquisitively at you looking you up & down “I know that wasn’t the answer you wanted, but I’m honest & im here to support you. I want to make sure that when I’m here, all you need to stress about is what’s going on in your own mind, not a grocery run or cooking pasta or running errands. I want you to stress about just your work & normal life like the rest of the world does” that’s when you see a small smirk across David’s face as you finish this statement with “I’m here for all your needs & to attend to you all”. His eyes dart across you not impressed just by your words but by your attitude & willingness.

“Art?” Carol chirps up before he can respond, he mouth & sentence hanging in mid air before he could even get the words out “that would be good for the kids for sure” she then talks about how she like minimal art but can’t find the right thing for the house to put up. A few more mundane questions happen before David then asks “Do you have first aid or life saving courses under your belt? Obviously with 2 small girls who you will meet another day, if we think you’re suitable, bumps & bruises happen all the time. You’re okay with looking after them if they cut themselves? you’re not going to freak out at a bit of sick or blood?” David is asking this because it’s part of the interview, but he knows it’s likely at some point you will find out what he does for a living. He’s an assassin, one of the best in the world, & he knows there maybe a day soon when he needs your help to stitch him up or take him to hospital.

“Yes I can do that, I have a friend who has fits, we as a group all make sure we stay up to date with as much as we can. I’m happy to take more courses if you need me too.” Is your reply. Firm & confident. You know it’s been a while since you’ve done a course in this but you still know what to do. Nothing your innocent king think, that an ice pack or a plaster can’t solve.

The interview starts to draw to a close & they start talking to you about your life in general. “Obviously there maybe a few days when we need you to stay over if you get this job to take the girls to nursery & school early if were not both back, or if you’ve stayed late” Carol implys “would that be okay? Are you comfortable with that? We have Cctv in every room so you will always be safe here without us”

“Yes Mrs York” your mind wonders why they have cctv but that’s a question for another day, not one when your trying to get a job “would my boyfriend be able to stay over, if I needed him too? It wouldn’t be something I would do until we were all completely comfortable with each other & you trust me & id let you meet him first” David raises an eyebrow when the word boyfriend is brought up “how serious is your boyfriend?” He asks “David!” Carol scoffs & playfully hits him “that’s none of your business” she say before he reply “if he’s a serious man in her life, I see there being no problem, stability means loyalty & trust, but if he’s just a fuck buddy then that raises more questions for me” you look a bit shocked. You’ve never been to an interview before where the interviewer has sworn let alone use the word fuck. He clearly is testing you to get a reaction from you. “I’ve been with him 18months” you reply calmly like you have done every question. “Harry & I have talked about moving in together soon, so that’s how loyal I am” David nods “well answered” he states writing the word not available on his own notes, which you don’t see.

The final question they ask you is if you have any questions for them at this stage. They have been clear throughout the interview that there would be a second interview with the girls on Sunday, if today went well to see how you get on with them & they have been very frank about what they expect from you. You sit there for a second & then ask something bold, which might mean you don’t get a call back for another day. “why interview me? You said yourself I’m not a house keeper or have nanny experience, why ask me?” Carol has a small chuckle & goes to answer but David buts in.

“We’ve interviewed 4 other people before you, all Nanny’s or house keeper, but none had any idea of what the real world is. We want our kids to have some of that in their lives & your CV was the next one on the pile. You have life experience & from what you’ve told us about you today, you have had some struggles in the past & you just bring across this soothing calm approach now we’ve met you, don’t you agree darling?” He asks his wife stroking her hand looking lovingly at her “yes dear” she says “we wanted to see what the rest of the world offered, not just those that fall into that bracket” you all just nod in agreement with each other. There is a very strong vibe & connection here & you think that maybe you do stand a chance, just as long as you connect with those girls. Or maybe you are just falling deeper for the talk dark & handsome man sitting opposite you. Each time those large rich brown eyes glance at you, you feel seen.

The Yorks then finish up & David looks at his phone. Carol shakes your hand & asks if you’re free at 3pm on Sunday to meet the girls & have early dinner with them, which you accept. You have a second interview in the bag. David nods. “I’ll walk her out honey, I need to make my way to the actual office” David says & you thank Carol, grab your coat & have David walk you out of the house. His hand pushes you forward touching the lower of your back. Not to low but enough to make you blush, but enough that to yourself it shows that this man has an effect on you. Thank god you are walking in front of him & he can’t see the true effect he has on you.

“I just want you to know…” David says as he locks the front door behind him & stands next to his car “that we’ve been looking for a house keeper for a while & a nanny more recently. Carol has hired some but most of them just aren’t what they say they are at the interview. You on the other hand, there’s something about you. Your normal & I think you will bring stability to our house & help influence our kids as they grow as well. I don’t tend to trust people, my line of work doesn’t allow me to, but there’s something I can see in you, that makes me know that I can trust you with my families & my own life.” He states.

“Wow Mr York” you’re a little stunned at that revelation “that means something that you’ve picked that up so quickly, thank you”

“Please it’s David, I actually prefer Dave but David or Mr York is fine” he says shuffling a bit. “I’m good at picking up on peoples strengths & weaknesses it’s part of the job I do, & from the last hour, the only weakness I see in you, is that you care too much & that’s what I need for my family” you blush as he says these words to you. No one’s ever said that a weakness of yours is what they need. This desirable man has a way of making you feel so much in so few words. He’s very to the point & direct. You can tell he’s a man who gets what he wants, no matter what.

A few awkward moments of silence happen between you before you both snap out of it. Daves been thinking about how well you’re going to look after his family. He finds you attractive & wonders how loyal & good your boyfriend really is to you & if he might, one day, be needed to pick up your emotional pieces should it all go wrong with him. “I should really get going now Mr York & you said you needed to get to your own office, so please don’t let me keep you” you offer you hand which he firmly shakes & through that connection of his large palm on your dainty hand, a small soft smile comes from his dark brown eyes. “Thank you for the opportunity” you say “ooh no the pleasure is all mine, sweetheart” he responds. That cute nickname makes you smile which he can see as bright as the sun. “I’m already looking forward to seeing you meet the girls on Sunday, im sure you will be the most attentive person we’ve had so far, I can just feel it in my bones.” He says, hands parting & you both sigh & get in your separate cars. You head home & Dave heads to the office.

1 week, later the phone rings while your out for lunch with friends. “Sorry guys, be back in 3minutes” you leave them & head to the bathroom of the cafe to take the call.

“Hello”

“Ahh it’s Mr York”

“Mr York… hi how are you?” Just his voice down the phone has you feeling flush & warm, how can he do that.

“I’m even better now, I’ve just hired a new house keeper”

Your face drops down the phone.

“It’s you”

“What!?” You let out an over the top excited screech

“All the girls have talked about since Sunday, has been making art & playing with you & your pasta was half decent on Sunday night, so what do you say… are you free tonight to come & see us to sign & be our house keeper & nanny & discus when you will start?” He asks, he himself is also excited to have you work for him. He’s not lying when he says how excited the girls have been, but he is drawn to you & he can’t explain why.

“Yes Mr York, what time?” You just about get the word out.

“7pm, don’t worry it’s Wednesday, I cook on Wednesdays, you’ll always have that night off from cooking” he laughs a little down the phone.

“Sounds perfect Mr York, I will see you tonight”

Once the call is over, you rush back to your friends & tell them you got the job. Suddenly the orange juices you were all having are now Buck’s Fizz as your friends celebrate your new job with you. “To attending the needs of the Yorks” you toast & your friends cheer. You have no idea exactly what needs you are about to attend, ignorance for now is completely bliss & will remain that way for a little while.

[vi0lentquiche]

Just started scrolling my dash and it’s one high quality stabby post after another, seriously like 15 in a row, so moving 🥹