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bluevoltindia · 1 year
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Servo voltage Stabilizer |Blue Volt India 
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Blue Volt India Servo Voltage Stabilizer is designed to ensure a stable voltage supply to your electrical devices. Our stabilizer is equipped with advanced technology that regulates voltage fluctuations, protecting your appliances from damage. Get the best servo voltage stabilizer in India today and safeguard your valuable electrical equipment.
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THE SITE IS UP, EVERYBODY BRACE-
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onaperduamedee · 11 months
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For my part I have sought liberty more than power, and power only because it can lead to freedom. What interested me was not a philosophy of the free man (all who try that have proved tiresome), but a technique: I hoped to discover the hinge where our will meets and moves with destiny, and where discipline strengthens, instead of restraining, our nature.
— Memoirs of Hadrian by Marguerite Yourcenar, translated from the French by Grace Frick
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pidgefudge · 2 months
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something about how hyacinth is a combination of her parents (part human part monster) and she was made with the magic that olala gave back to the universe
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emo-nova · 1 year
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An Au where both Shen Yuan and Shen Jiu are brothers and when they escape the Qiu House, they run away to a small town. Take the small run down cottage that no one wants and fixes it up over the years. Shen Jiu makes money through paintings and calligraphy and Shen Yuan teaches children in the village how to read and write.
Then one day, an immortal stumbles through. He's dirty and bloody, with long ink black hair put up in a ponytail. Shen Yuan brings him home, nursing him with the help of the garden of herbs that he gathered overtime and from what knowledge he has from the book and from the old wives and elders from the village.
Shen Jiu and the immortal dislike eachother but there is an understanding not to fight in front of Shen Yuan, least his heart gives up at the yelling and the danger both put in the house. The immortal leaves, not with a loud leaving but a quiet one in a breaking morning.
Shen Yuan sends him off, handing him a final meal for him to eat if he takes rest on his way back to his home. Shen Jiu hands him a painting of all three of them, begrudging him as good company for his brother.
Liu Qingge takes note of this village, of this house. Marking it as important to himself. He leaves the brothers, wishing them a long and safe life.
It is the next winter when the sky turns black, it is that winter that come the demons. It is that winter that there is cries of help, Shen Yuan is barely twenty-four and weak in his core, but still he fights them off. His brother by his side, they are both able-bodied, they are both fighting once more for their lives and others, the women and children are sent up to the north, up to the home of the war god that they housed.
Liu QingGe arrives, three days and two nights later. He is fierce and angry, he is danger amongst the demons that try and feast upon the corpse of a boy barely ten summers old.
Shen Yuan is bloody. Shen Jiu is bloody.
The brothers lived. They lived but they watch the borders of their village, even when the other men tell the war god that they pushed the demons back with a gust of wind with painted fans. That they struck them with wooden staffs that the brothers used to walk around with, the men of the village told him that they are similar to him.
They are weak in the core. Not yet golden. But they are strong to the people. And the weak fear the strong.
The brothers do not want to leave. They have been settled here for too long, their roots have taken to this ground. Liu QingGe teaches them how to golden their core, strengthen it through physical labour and through what he knows of study.
The brothers thank him. The villagers keep the brothers, seeing as they keep on teaching, keep on painting, keep on watching the border. It is no school for the core. But it is a school of the future.
There are other immortals that come down from Liu QingGe's peaks. They are usually young, spritly things, wanting to prove themselves. But they learn this place that their teacher marks for them is not to punish them, but to tell them that there are others that do not follow a peak. That follow a different path if they do not become the peak Lord.
After waves of time, the children grow. The immortals stay. The village bustles to a town. The house at the edge is still at the edge. Still cared and maintained by two brothers and visitors. But it is still a school. It is calm there, tranquil as the paintings that decorate the walls. The city that sits there does not call that school one for immortals, but one for the future.
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ancha-aus · 3 months
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RealAgeAU Drabble - Found
After some thinking I decided to write this little thing :3
I was thinking between this drabble and one that was about Dream and decided to go for this one.
Mostly because the timing for later in the series is just so much FUNNIER if this one is done first. (you guys will understand later)
First Drabble and original prompt by @spotaus Prev Drabble Next Drabble
No beta and no edits. We jsut going.
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Killer sighs as he rubs the sweat of his skull. You would think it is cooler now than the summer but it hardly matters when you are physically active.
Ugh. He hates cleaning duty.
Still he looks around the area he is cleaning up and grins proudly. They had realised that the decliding cliff was facing the south meaning it had so many sun hours.
Horror had offered they could grow grapes using the cliff side and because those where plants that liked to climb up they could use the vertical area to create more space!
Also leaving the flat area for them to do soemthing else with. Killer had been thinking about trying to convince the others to agree to animals but he may need to plead a bit more for that idea.
Still he looks over at Cross nad Horror, both are setting up trellises along the side to help start to grow. All preparation work for their first season of course.
Tehy hadn't quite decided what they would make of the grapes, maybe even just sell the grapes themselves. But they will figure it out. Killer had offered the obvious wine but he hadn't been too excited about it himself. Seemed like a bad idea to make wine when you have a babybones running around.
Even so. Tehy aren't in a hurry. They first need to manage to grow some to begin with.
Killer stretches his limbs when he hears a strange sizzle. Killer blinks and looks back up the side of the cliff before looking at Cross and Horror confused. Both looking up themselves as they no doubt heard it as well.
They assend their, newly repaired, stairs and get to their normal area. It looks fine but Dust is also out and looking around wiht a frown on his face.
Killer gets to his side "Ngihtmare?"
Dust hums "in the nest. Sleeping with his bat." he looks around again and shoots Killer a look "sound?"
Killer shrugs, he has no idea. Cross shoots upright as he looks up "oh no..."
Killer looks up himself and feels himself freeze. becuase he knows those glitching effects. The sizzling gets louder and with the sound of ripping fabric the very universe opens up.
Moment later a figure they all know appears.
Error blinks as he looks around before spotting them. He huffs annoyed "hello abominations. I am looking for your boss." he looks around and frowns "Why are you in this dump?"
Killer freezes. Waht do they do?! Normally it was Nightmare who contacted Error about things he wanted or shifts or jobs or anything. Error coming to them?! Unusual! Also! How the fuck?!
Killer huffs as he crosses his arms "We are busy. How did you even find us here?" Did they leave traces? Did they mess up? Do they still need to move around again?!
Error looks smug as he jumps down from the roof and lands in front of them soundlessly "I obviously looked into the code of the multiverse, antivoid and void."
Killer feels a part of him relax. While most of them can in someway check a universe's code. Checking the code of the multiverse itself is a skill only Error can reliably do.
Error looks very annoyed as he crosses his arms "Do you ahve any idea how long it took me to find you? It is so annoying! Now. I got to talk business with nightmare. Where is that octopus?" he looks around.
Dust growls and glares at him "leave."
Error blinks and tilts his skull "Since when do you talk?"
Dust keeps glaring "Nightmare doesn't want to see you. Leave. You are not welcome."
Killer must admit Dust has guts but also Dust not the time!
Killer tries to nudge Dust further back but Dust refuses to move from his spot. Oh shit.
Error glares at Dust "You dare try and get in my way? The destroyer!?" he chackles as he raises a hand. Strings slowly appearing in the air "I will show you what happens if you do. Now. How about you-"
"Wait!"
Killer feels his skull freeze as he looks at the door. Oh no.
Error frowns and turns before looking confused at Nightmare. A large error sign in Error's sockets as he just stands there frozen. Nightmare doesn't say a word but just keeps looking at the other god.
Error blinks and slowly turns to Killer and points over his shoulder "you abominations made a tiny abomination?" Error looks utterly confused.
Killer almost wants to laugh at that notion but he just isn't sure what to say. What can he say to make Error leave them be? More importantly what can he say that would keep Error from telling everyone about what he saw here? Where could they even go if Error can just check the code of the multiverse to find them!?
Before Killer cna say anything else Nightmare takes a step closer. A very panicked sound leaves Cross before he just sprints by Error to stand between him and Nightmare. Keepign his arms spread in front of Nightmare as a living shield.
Error frowns at him and studies Nightmare.
Nightmare gulps before he has that same tiny grumpy stubborn look on his face that Killer just adores. Nightmare huffs as he crosses his arms "What? I thought you wanted to talk?"
Error stares and then he takes a step back "what the fuck?"
Killer mutters it before he cans top himself "language" look they all had just been trying to fix their own cursing a bit but it is habit for all of them.
Error dismisses him as he takes a step closer. Cross summons a weapon and growls at Error "Not a step closer. you can talk from a distance."
Error rubs his sockets. Stares at Nightmare. Rubs his sockets again. Stares at Nightmare again. Then he calls up the code screen for this universe. Looks at Nightmare again. the he looks at Killer and just mutters "What?"
Well would you look at that. Aparently even the destroyer hadn't seen everything in the multiverse.
Dust takes this chance to get to Ngihtmare as well and pick him up. he huffs "What is wrong? You are acting like you have never seen a child before."
Error stands there before waving at Nightmare "That is Ngihtmare! The Nightmare?!"
Horror just crosses his arms and raises a brow "so?"
Error blinks and the error messages around him get a bit worse before he waves at Ngihtmare again "So!? Since when is he a child?!"
Killer grins himself even if his soul pulses quickly. He makes a show of leaning against one of their new fenches "I mean. For a while now. Since his birth. Then again his age was frozen when he corrupted so..." he shrugs.
Error stares at him "No?! He wasn't a child?! He was... You know! Adult? dripping goop and tentacles?! Remind you of anything?!"
Killer raises a brow and shrgus "yeah. Turns out? Not an adult. Just a babybones with magical god apples making a corruption shield around him and temporarily giving him the body he needed to do his god thing." Killer figures it is fine to tell Error. Error will be able to find out anyway and honestly they don't need Error being mad at them for lying.
Error stares at him. Looks back at Ngihtmare. then looks back at Killer for a moment "you aren't shitting me? You are fucking serious?"
Killer sends him a look "dude. seriously. there is a six year old here. Try to not swear." he shrugs and walks over to join Cross and Dust, and Horror for that matter. Killer continues speaking as he walks "It is hardly needed to curse the whole time."
Nightmare shoots him a look and mutters "hypocrit."
Killer grins "you know my tiny boss!" he grins and pokes the tiny cheek. Nightmare looks away embarresed and flustered. mh... weird.. normally he doesn't mind the poking...
Error frowns as he looks to the side before looking at Nightmare "So what now? No goop?"
Ngihtmare glances at Error for a moment before nodding. It takes him a bit to find the right words. Nightmare still speaks softly but with how quiet it is his voice still seems loud "I... I am sitll a god... I think... Just not of balance anymore. I can't do stuff with that anymore..."
Error stares at them for a moment. looks around the area. Then looks down thinking. there is a small loading bar showing his thought process.
It hits full and he straightens "well... I am leaving." he turns to the side adn starts to mess with a coding window again.
Killer frowns "That is it?!"
Error pauses and shrgus "obviously? I was looking for Nightmare, you know, king of negativity and god of balance and all that sh-... stuff..." he glances at them before looking back at the window "Nightmare isn't that anymore. So I will have to figure something else out."
Cross looks anxious as he steps forwards "No one can know! If they know...." he rubs his hands "Just... please..."
Error pauses again and shrugs "Don't see the point in sharing. After all. He isn't the god of negativity. And when people ask about him they want to find the gooped up bas- guy who had all powerful magic and abilities... Why give them the location of a child and his group of babysitters?" and Error disappears through a portal.
A long silence.
They... are fine?
That... that was pretty much him saying he wouldn't tell anyone right?
Like... They are good?
Killer glances at the others and they all share slightly unsure looks. Nightmare however looks at where Error disappeared.
Nightmare just stares before getting a very tiny grin as he hides his face a bit and mutters "he is cool..."
Killer freezes. Nightmare's tiny blush. the embarresment. the way he tried to looks tough and controlled and cool... before when Ngihtamre always searched Error out. The fact Nightmare was always very willing and easy about helping Error even if it hardly helped his own goal.
No.
No absolutely not!
Killer turns to Nightmare and makes him look at him. Ngihtmare huffs and looks annoyed while Killer stares at him "No."
Dust shoots him a look "Killer what are you even saying-"
Killer continues as he stares at Nightmare "No. No crushing on Error. I don't care he is technically the only other god who was nice to you or was understanding about your work. You are not allowed to have a crush on him. He is dangerous and crazy and you can do so much better."
Ngihtamre has a lsightly panicked look on his face as he looks away and mutters "I don't... he is jsut..."
Cross blinks before laughing "Killer calm down. It is just a little crush. Kids have those all the time."
Killer shakes his skull "Nightmare will evnetually grow up again!" may take them ages or not. Hell they don't know how gods grow up but still! Killer isn't allowing it! No way! He looks back at Ngihtmare "You are too young and too tiny to even think about liking others like that so stop that. And even if you do start thinking like that WHEN you are an apropriate age! You aren't allowed to like him because he is crazy and you deserve so much better!"
Horror chuckles "what is the appropriate age?"
Killer's mind blanks before he answers "When he is thirty! Physically! AT LEAST!" and even then Killer isn't sure about it.
Cross snorts "you aren't even thirty... physically."
Killer huffs "And I am a bad example. We don't do what i do." he stares at Ngihtmare.
Nightmare just looks down embarresed before pushign his face back into Dust's shoulder.
Killer will accept that answer for now. But maybe he will need to look through the stuff they have. Clearly no romance novels or movies are allowed anymore. He will have to check it all. Honestly what are those people thinking?! Showing romance to such young minds!
Cross snorts and leans closer to Dust "Somehow I did not expect Killer to be the anti-date parent. Yet here we are."
Dust hums "same. expected it to be me."
Horror chuckles as he leads them back inside.
They still remain watchful and pack some emergancy bags. If they notice even the tiniest sign that their location is compromised they are leaving. They give Crop and update and ask him to watch out as well.
But..
Nothing happens.
Not even a peep.
Nothing.
days go by and they slowly start to relax and get into their own rhythm again. Cleaning and repairing stuff. Getting ready for the next spring and talking with some town folk.
Today is a day that Killer, Dust and Nightmare are just laying in their nest watching an old western movie on the repaired tv, thank you Dust.
It is nice and calm untill.
sizzling.
Killer shoots upright and a small portal opens up. only for a black skeleton hand to drop something through it before it closes again.
It had fallen right in Nightmare's lap and Ngihtmare blinks confused at the small hastly packed present.
Dust looks over his shoulder and a check later and it seems fine. Dust nudges Nightmare and Nightmare first opens the small card.
Killer leans close and reads wiht them.
It is just a card saying 'so he knows which side to aim towards when he grows up.'. Which, weird.
Nightmare blinks at it before opening the present and he lets out a tiny gasp.
Killer stares as he sees a small woolen doll octopus. It is bright purple with a tiny grumpy face on it.
Nightmare feels the plush carefully as he stares at it with pure awe. A tiny purr starts to leave their baby bones.
Killer is going to have to make plans in advance to make sure that WHEN Nightmare is a teen he doesn't try and hang out with Error. Killer will also have to figure out how to successfully threaten a god.
On his 'to do' list it goes.
*---------------------*
First Drabble Prev Drabble Next Drabble
Also Also
Error finds them
gang: *panic*
Error leaves again because whatever but leaves a little plush for Nightmare.
Gang: ... okay.
Nightmare hugging the plush: I did always think he was real cool... *slightly wishful stare*
Killer realises baby has a first crush: ... *PANIC TIMES FIVE* absolutely not!
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So, pack up your car, put a hand on your heart Say whatever you feel, be wherever you are We ain't angry at you, love You're the greatest thing we've lost The birds will still sing, your folks will still fight The boards will still creak, the leaves will still die We ain't angry at you, love We'll be waitin' for you, love And we'll all be here forever
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ikiprian · 7 months
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The DC Universe is unstable. Danny goes to investigate.
All realities are connected to and accessible from the Infinite Realms Hub through natural portals. These portals dot the surface of random planets within each universe— some are familiar, like alternate versions of Earth, some are wholly unique, like… Well, like nothing else. When Danny’s got downtime, he loves to explore them. Frostbite appreciates his efforts to expand the Infini-Map.
One universe, though, and all its affiliated pluralities has got its ecto-connection on the fritz. (And there are. So many pluralities. The timeline wraps back on itself, it’s duplicated a thousand times over, it keeps crossing over what should be parallels and resets every couple decades or so…) Something is definitely wrong.
Danny goes in as the Infinite Realm’s self-assigned plumber to see what’s what. It’ll be fun!
He pops out the other side screaming, dragging his half-melted body out a Lazarus Pit.
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babygirl-but-a-boy · 8 months
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berseid · 9 months
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Little idea DPxDC
What if John Constantine was Vlad Masters' uncle?
Just saying, it turns out that canonically John had an older sister named Cheryl who married a certain Tonny Masters and they had a daughter named Gemma Masters, now add Vlad as a possible child of the couple, the youngest or the oldest as you want, it doesn't matter .
It is a fact that the members of the Constantin family will end up involved in some way with the supernatural whether they like it or not, Cheryl and Tonny end up dead due to the manipulations of a demon, Gemma was also a supernatural detective for a time. Cheryl had had a son in adolescence that her father forced her to leave in the hospital, who also ended up becoming interested in magic. Vlad was also interested in the supernatural, he only opted for the more scientific side until he half-dies years after that accident.
I imagine it, John visiting his nephew after the "scientific" accident with the protoportal, he can feel his nephew, he is slowly dying in that room, he tries to find something to help him, but then he ends up getting a call from the hospital saying that Vlad He was dead for practically 15 minutes before they could get his heart beating again, the next time John goes to visit Vlad in the hospital, he can say without a doubt that his nephew is no longer human, at least, not completely.….
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bluevoltindia · 1 year
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Servo voltage Stabilizer |Blue Volt India
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Blue Volt India Servo Voltage Stabilizer is designed to ensure a stable voltage supply to your electrical devices. Our stabilizer is equipped with advanced technology that regulates voltage fluctuations, protecting your appliances from damage. Get the best servo voltage stabilizer in India today and safeguard your valuable electrical equipment.
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jankwritten · 8 months
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Jasico Bingo Challenge: sharing a bed
It took all of ten minutes for Jason to cave and climb into Nico’s too-big bed. His weight dips the mattress to one side, and as he slides under the blankets, Nico gets hit with his fan’s frigid breeze. 
“Told you,” he mutters, flipping over onto his left side. He sticks his hand under his pillow. 
Jason makes a face, wrinkling his nose and giving Nico a sort of side-glare, before he settles fully down, hugging Nico’s spare pillow. “I don’t like disobeying Miss Sally.” 
Two months ago, Nico would’ve been right there with him. He’s lived under her roof long enough to know which rules they can nudge, though. “Percy constantly lets Grover share his bed.” 
“Percy and Grover are different,” Jason says, his voice just a shade above a whisper. “You know it’s different.” 
Nico shrugs. “Sally doesn’t know that.” 
Jason looks far less amused than he should. “I’m serious,” he says. 
This is what Nico gets for dating a serial rule-follower, he supposes. Rules are rigid and unbending, in Jason’s mind, no matter how insignificant. He approaches “entrance” and “exit” signs like he’ll get arrested for mixing them up. 
It’s something they’re working on, together. It’s something Nico can help with. It’s always tricky, with Jason, working around the thorny patches of his logic, but Nico knows firsthand that once Jason can tame that anxiety, he’ll feel so much better. 
Nico is also aware it took him almost half a year to even start changing his own habits regarding rules, or moreso his perception of them, and that was only after a few years of built up trauma around it. Jason has his whole life to unwind. 
But, there is still progress, which Nico makes sure Jason knows he’s proud of. It’s easy to start with things Jason wants that he sees as outside the rule-boundary, things like sneaking dessert out of the pavilion at camp so they can eat it somewhere peaceful, or sharing Nico’s oversized princess bed so he doesn’t have to sleep on the floor.
Sometimes it feels a little bit like treat-training a dog. Nico did something similar with Mrs. O’Leary and Cerberus, after all. It’s a guilty thought to have. Jason isn’t a dog, and Nico isn’t his owner, isn’t trying to train him. He’s just…he wants Jason to feel free. He hates when Jason mentally butts up against one of the walls of his cage and physically recoils from something that would make him feel better. Make him feel good, and human, and normal. 
“I want you up here,” Nico says. He matches the gravity of Jason’s tone, watches Jason’s eyes dart around, lit by the dimmed string of star-shaped lights over the bed. Nico reaches out, slowly, and pokes Jason’s wrist. “I know I’ll sleep better if you’re here.” 
Jason swallows. He shifts his weight on the mattress, his foot kicking out just barely into Nico’s space. “What if Miss Sally comes to check on us, and she sees-? Will she get mad?” 
“Maybe.” He wants to temper Jason’s fears, not lie to them. He hasn’t seen Sally get mad at anything other than when the dogs chew on shoes, or when he and Percy fight too loud in the backyard. This, something easy enough to explain, he doesn’t think she’d mind. “But she would never punish me, or you, over it. Over anything. The worst she’d do is give us a stern talking to, and maybe make us sleep on the couch next time.” 
“The couch is an option?” 
Ugh, no, the couch is not an option. Nico taps his fingers against Jason’s wrist bone and wrinkles up his nose, tucking himself up more in his comfortable blankets and pillows. 
Jason, finally, breaks into a little smile. “You’re spoiled now.” 
“Hush. I’m allowed to like having a bed, and I’m allowed to want to share it with my b..with my boyfriend.” 
The room hushes over, the sound of the fan hiding how hard Nico’s heart thumps. 
It’s still new, that part of this. It’s still hard to say it out loud. Pushing out of his comfort zone is something Nico is working on himself, though. 
Jason beams. He’s probably blushing, though it’s too dark to see and Nico’s half buried his face in the pillow to hide his own face.
“Shut up,” he grumbles. 
Jason turns his hand around and laces their fingers together. He finally lets go of the tension in his arms, lets himself sink into the bed. Nico feels how the blanket moves with it. 
“You’ve convinced me,” Jason whispers. “But if we do get caught, you’re doing the talking.” 
“Deal,” Nico says, and squeezes Jason’s hand. He peeks, just to see another glimpse of that smile. He likes Jason’s smile. It doesn’t even ache to admit it anymore. “Go to sleep, now.” 
“Can do.” 
(Sally pokes her head in at eight AM, after Nico and Jason miss breakfast. She blinks, at first confused to see the empty pallet at Nico’s bedside, then understanding when she sees the bed itself. 
Jason is fast asleep at the edge of the bed, peaceful and relaxed, hugging a pillow to his chest, the blankets tangled around him. Just over the slope of his shoulder, she sees Nico’s curly head of hair nestled close. 
She’s careful not to let the door squeak as she leaves them in peace.) 
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taw-k · 2 months
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One thing about Loki is he has really good manners, obviously, he's royalty. He'll attack your planet and curse your bloodline but he'll never put his elbows on the table.
And he can't help but enforce this just a little on other people. It's like a compulsory need. It helps him navigate social situations when everyone's behaving differently and it's over-stimulating him, because his social skills are that of a scared goat when he's not trying to manipulate someone because he's never truly been able to be himself.
If you don't say please and thank you he'll glare at you. If you put your elbows on the table he'll nudge them off and whisper to you like he's your mother. He'll teach you how to bow properly and shake hands or other proper Asgardian etiquette. And if you compliment him on his manners and good behaviour he might just marry you, he LOVES it.
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vladdyissues · 9 months
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fictionadventurer · 3 months
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"If the structure of your world ever evaporates, I will still be here."
I think The Q might contain one of the greatest declarations of friendship/love ever.
#books#the q#beth brower#this seems clunkier out of context but trust me in context it's very moving#they're discussing how quincy's entire world is wrapped up in work#so even if she likes the people there if the business somehow disappeared she probably wouldn't see them again#because they all have other family/friends to go to and she doesn't really have any#leading to this promise#and let me tell you it's just about enough to make me believe in found family#because this works as a romantic or platonic declaration#it's a promise#a commitment to provide safety and stability when there's nowhere else to go#and i love it#this book is so odd because i liked it quite a bit last year#then rereading i was at first like 'why did i like this at all?'#there's no scene-setting or character description it's just kind of stuff there#but then the relationship starts to develop and i am SO invested#under normal rules it shouldn't take 100 pages for the story to get good but in this case it's worth it#it's such an odd structure#each chapter is almost like its own little short story#or a character sketch#almost like the character have stopped to discuss their own character worksheet#but in context it somehow works#and it drives home how much traditional publishing and writing rules stifle creativity#because your average editor would look at this and try to smooth it over#make it all into one flowing narrative#and it would lose so much of what makes it unique and compelling#following the rules of 'good writing' robs you of all the stories that don't follow those rules#there is so much scope outside of the one 'best practice' that is currently in fashion#and those stories need to get told too!
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alluralater · 4 months
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hey everyone, i won’t be as active for a while. got home last night super late after being on the road for 20 some odd hours. dealing with some family things and as an older sister, my priority of taking care of my siblings comes first before anything else. being on here is amazing for me but i don’t think i’ll have much time for it. reminder to please treat those in your life who are battling addiction with patience and care. i lost my older brother (sweetest person i’ve ever known and he remained that way up until his last night) to suicide and alcoholism, trauma and ptsd, depression and his feelings of hopelessness. talk with the people you care about. another of my siblings is dealing with the same and i refuse to let it escalate to such a terrifying end twice in less than a fucking year. remind the people you care about that there are beautiful things to live for. show them kindness and love. there is all kinds of misinformation out there but know this, you can make a difference for someone. don’t let them suffer in silence.
#if you have me on snap then you saw the super gorgeous views and such on my way to idaho but what you did not see was me picking#up my little sister. propping her body up with pillows in a hotel room to make sure she didn’t aspirate on her own vomit in her sleep.#pouring out her water bottle of white claw and talking to her about drug use.#i never make her feel as though she has disappointed me or that she should feel ashamed. shame helps nothing. love helps everything.#i’m going to get her back into treatment soon- i just need her to know she has a home when she’s out. detoxing here first and being#positively reinforced for every single step of the process is so fucking important. it was terrifying to learn that if i had not gone to ge#her when i did that she probably would have died there in the next few weeks.#my fear of death for her is not what guides me though and there’s a huge difference between that and doing something out of love. being#there in dire moments is important yes- but being there through the mundanity of recovery is JUST as vital. it’s a process and it’s hard.#she’s moving in with me for awhile so i can help her through this sensitive time in her recovery.#she’s trying so hard and being recognized for that has literally been making her sob. knowing she has people who truly care for her is#everything. now that my stepdad is away from her like across the country i can actually finally help her. she’s starting to understand and#without me saying anything- she is starting to see what he’s done to her and our family. she needs love and support and stability. she need#reasons to live. sorry im kinda rambling a lot in these tags but i just… i can’t lose another one. the love i carry for my siblings is#unlike any other. i’ve treated them like my children since i was a child and those are my own issues but our mother is gone now too so it i#up to me.#losing my brother last september and my mom the year before that- grief has just been back to back.#in the hotel room i couldn’t sleep. she fell asleep so quickly and all i could do was watch her and think about all of the things i want to#do to make her feel like her life has value and worth enough to stay here and not go. my little sister is forever four years old in my mind#yes she’s an adult of 23 but she is a baby to me. she’s so young and she has so much ahead of her. she deserves a happy and fulfilled life.#our lives have been… very hard. 4 out of 5 of us are still standing and i plan on keeping it that way.#this is not the pain olympics or whatever but listen- if i put an adult in any of the situations we were in as children they would not#survive. we only did because there was no other choice. now there are escapes and we are old enough to try them all- every single one of us#has searched for some escape. it spirals and escalates and it doesn’t help but it is an escape. giving her love and affection and getting#her the help she needs and doing it the RIGHT way- it lessens the need for escape. there is nothing wrong with being an addict.#addiction ends one of two ways. life or death. unfortunately there is no in between. she’s going to feel everything- bad and good. i want#her to know there is so much good. that she is good. every move i make right now matters so i don’t think i’ll have time for tumblr or#much socializing.#just a heads up yk. thank you for your patience in advance <3
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