#stay hydrated and hungry in the meantime!

[escaped-goat]

"Your Body, My Temple" Gale romance fic incoming!

I humbly ask for your patience, my loves! I am in the process of eviction from my current abode and only have the ability to write between moments of rest during this transition!

My darlings! My loves! This humble bard of pen and ink shall bring to you that which you crave so deeply. But alas, I am but flesh and blood, not chalk and magic. May I request your patience and continued support during the trying times?

While you wait so graciously, please continue to flood the BG3 Gale tag with unscrupulous levels of adoration and hunger for our resident sad librarian puppy-man!

Much love, light, and dashing delight!

- EscapedGoat 🐐

[sapientiiae]

@guideoftime asked: 71. one muse discovers they are pregnant by accident ( no regrets ) 100 indulgent tropes

“The Princess has been sick all morning.”

She hears the whisper from outside the bathroom door as the two maids try (poorly) to keep their voices down. Their words, however, were incorrect. In truth, she’d been sick since the night prior, overtaken with waves of nausea that would occur every so often. She’d hoped it was a stomach bug that would subside in the morning, but mercy seemed to show her no favor. When the maids arrived to wake her so she could begin getting ready that morning, the vicious cycle began all over again, and Zelda had all but locked herself in the bathroom.

Whatever this was, she hadn’t felt this ill in years.

“She hasn’t come out of the bathroom since she first locked herself in there. She is complaining of a headache and asks that she be left alone to rest.”

Goddesses, if they were trying to talk about her without her hearing, they were doing a pathetic job. Her head was pounding, and hearing the two women gab about her wasn’t doing the royal any favors.

Closing her eyes, Zelda did everything in her power to muster up the energy to rise to her feet, the pounding in her head intensifying as she stood. Slowly did she make her way to the door, reaching for the handle just as there was a light rapping.

“Your Highness—“ 

That was Lucia, an older woman that had spent the most time in the castle of all the maids, having even been around to take care of Zelda’s mother when the queen was still alive. Without hesitation, she pulled the bathroom door open, revealing a heightened level of concern that marred the older woman’s face as she looked the Princess of Hyrule over. “You look exhausted. Let us get you to bed, and I will have one of the other girls run down to the kitchen to fetch your breakfast—“

“I am not hungry.” She hadn’t meant to be rude and interrupt, but the idea of eating right now was absolutely repulsive. Not even her usual favorites or a morning cup of tea sounded appealing. No, the only thing she wanted now was to crawl back into bed and sleep off this sickness (until her body would undoubtedly awaken her to expel whatever contents might still remain in her stomach). 

“But, Princess, you must eat! Food will be vital to providing your body enough strength to fight off whatever plague—“

“I am not hungry.” The words were curt, leaving no room for debate as Lucia slowly gave a nod of understanding, having learned in her years when to pick and choose her battles. “Well if nothing more you will need to stay hydrated. I will have Alis bring up a pitcher of water. In the meantime, back to bed with you.”

To that, Zelda would not object. Just as Lucia had learned when to bite her tongue and pick her battles, she had learned when to compromise. Slowly did the maiden crawl back into the large bed, wincing as she drew the duvet over her breasts (when had they become so tender?) while Lucia moved to the windows to draw the curtains shut and block out the bright light that agitated Zelda’s already pounding head.

“Farore above, this is some sickness! I have not seen someone this sick since your mother was pregnant with you…”

It was an offhanded comment, muttered mostly to herself (with a hint of frustration because the princess was being so stubborn), but the statement stuck with the maiden. Pregnant. It was a word that left her mouth dry, the nausea rising once again and clawing at her throat as she quickly pushed herself up to a sitting position, eyes wide while Lucia went about her business. 

When was her last menses? She pushed past the pounding in her head to seek the answer, desperately needing to know. Wait! Yes! It had been the start of last month after Sheik returned from being in Termina for a week on the court's behalf.

Except…

That hadn’t been last month. No, Sheik had returned, left for Termina again, and then been home, without leave, for well over a month now. Which meant it had been the month prior. She hadn’t had her cycle in....seven weeks? Eight? Goddesses, how had she not noticed?

Immediately does she pale, all color draining from her face before she flings the duvet off her body, bombarded with a new wave of nausea as she stumbles from the bed rushes for the bathroom once more.

“Princess?”

“I will be fine! But you should go! I do not want—“ Her left hand flies to her mouth, the right gripping at the silk of her nightgown as she forces the sickness back. “Want to get you sick. Fetch Sheik and…send him up to my bedchamber.” She provides no further explanation before slamming the bathroom door shut once more and collapsing to her knees in front of the garderobe, falling prey to a new bout of morning sickness. 

[ainews]

An unusual creature was spotted in the region recently, and it has locals scratching their heads. Known as a "chemical cryptid," this mysterious entity has been seen out and about during the unusually hot and hungry summer months.

The cryptid is said to have a body composed of a number of different chemical elements, and it is believed that it is able to absorb energy from its environment in order to survive. It has been seen out in the open during the day, and it is thought that it may be feeding on any available energy sources.

Local experts have been unable to identify the creature and its motives, and are calling on the public to be aware of its presence. While it is believed to be harmless, its unusual nature has left many wondering what it is and how it came to be.

In the meantime, its presence during the hot summer months is a reminder to stay hydrated and be mindful of our environment. If you see the chemical cryptid, experts suggest taking a photograph and reporting the sighting in order to help further our understanding of the creature.

[thechildverse]

What to Expect When You're Expecting: A Guide To Newborn Care in the First Weeks of Life

Parenting in the first few weeks can be overwhelming, but it's also enriching. After all, how many people get to experience the joy of holding their new baby for the first time? Fortunately, most newborns are pretty laid-back about the whole thing. They're captivated by the sights and sounds of their new world and won't move much until they crawl around. That said, you should know a few things about raising a newborn that will make your life as a parent a little bit easier.

Be prepared for lots of crying and sleeping

Newborns cry when they're hungry, and they cry when they're tired. They also sleep a lot. In fact, the World Health Organization recommends that 0–3 months of age get 14–17 hours and 4–11 months of age get 12–16 hours of good quality sleep, including naps. Fortunately, newborns cry for a reason. They're communicating what they need, and you don't need a degree in child development to decipher the signals. If a newborn is crying, try holding them, feeding them, and keeping them as calm and close to you as possible. If they're still crying after you've tried everything, call your doctor and ask for advice. Don't let it go past the first day.

Be patient with your baby's development

Newborns can't do much and don't know what they can't do yet. Newborns can't lift their heads off the ground, they can't hold their bottles, and they can't really respond when their parents talk to them. This is normal, and it's okay to wait a few weeks until they get stronger and more coordinated. In the meantime, there are things you can do to make things easier for everyone. When you feed your baby, place them on their backs, and keep them still to prevent them from choking. When diaper changes are necessary, use a clean washcloth to protect your baby from bacteria. When you need to get your newborn out of bed or a car seat, make sure you always have two hands available to prevent injury.

Stay hydrated — but not too much!

Newborns lose a lot of fluids through urination and feeding, so most doctors recommend keeping them hydrated by feeding them water-based formula or breast milk. At the same time, all that peeing and feeding can lead to a build-up of minerals in their system and increase their risk of developing a build-up of electrolytes. To avoid this, you can also give your baby electrolyte-fortified formula. In any case, ensure there's not too much water in your baby's system, as this can lead to a potentially dangerous condition called water intoxication. Water intoxication occurs when your baby consumes too much water, which dilutes its sodium levels and causes swelling in the brain and other organs. Talk to your doctor or paediatrician if you're concerned about water intoxication. They can test your baby's sodium levels and recommend an appropriate amount of water in their diet.

Feed your baby often and keep an eye out for colic

Newborns eat often and are usually really good at letting you know when they're hungry. That said, colicky babies cry a lot, even when full. If your newborn cries a lot without having eaten recently, and you've tried everything you can think of to calm them down, talk to your doctor. The crying could be caused by colic, a sensitive gut, or an allergy. If your doctor suspects colic, they may recommend colic drops to calm your newborn and show them that crying is pointless. If your doctor diagnoses a sensitive gut or an allergy, they can suggest the proper treatment. Once your newborn has been fed and calmed down, it's crucial to burp them to release the air that's been trapped in their system by the feeding process. Burping your baby helps them stay healthy and get the most out of their feedings.

When to call in professional help

No matter how many parenting books you've read, there will come a point when you need professional advice. If your newborn has trouble feeding and gaining weight, if their crying is non-stop, if their poop is green, or if they seem generally unwell, call your doctor. These signs can indicate a more serious problem that only a doctor can help you with. If your newborn needs to be seen, don't wait until the next day or take a chance at a walk-in clinic. Make an appointment and bring them in as soon as you realise they need help. Premature babies, twins, and babies with special needs often need to be seen as soon as possible.

Wrapping up: Is being a mum really worth it?

Baby care is a roller coaster of emotions, but it's also incredibly rewarding. Newborns are easier to care for than people think, and most of them are happy to just eat, sleep, and be loved by their parents. Just remember to keep hydrated, give your baby plenty of love, and don't hesitate to call your doctor if you need help. Newborns are worth it, and mum-hood is a time of wonder, joy, and love you'll never forget.https://thechildverse.com/what-to-expect-when-youre-expecting-a-guide-to-newborn-care-in-the-first-weeks-of-life/ Read the full article

[thinningdiary]

My favorite tips 💕

TW: Only read if you are not in recovery❗️

🌸If you want to eat, eat either: 

Breakfast (so you have all day to burn the calories 

Dinner (Idk about you but when I start eating I can’t stop. I usually go to sleep after dinner)

🌸If you’re hungry: 

Drink 1-2 glasses of water, wait 10 minutes (In the meantime you can chew favored gum or smoke)

If your still hungry: eat something low-cal and take it easy, don’t rush while eating

🌸If you’re really struggling: 

Listen to some music

Make a playlist that makes you feel like a VS model

Do selfcare/take a shower

go on a run/walk

look at some thinspo

🌸Never judge anyone based off of the food they eat or their appearance. Just focus on yourself. 

🌸Always stay hydrated and safe

[bonjour-rainycity]

Double Heart | Chapter Fourteen ~ Haldir

|previous part|

Rating: PG-13

Word count: 1754

Warnings: TW -- mentions of illness

**Read on Ao3 under the user “bonjour_rainycity” if you prefer!**

A/n Can I just say, that I TRULY believe I have some of the best readers in the entire world? Each of you is so kind, so encouraging, and you take time out of your day to read this story!! Thank you, each and every one of you, so, so much! 

Immediately after leaving Cosima’s room, I seek out Baranor. I don’t want to leave her alone and must find a task to calm my mind. Though Cosima sounded sure of her ailment being non-severe, humans are so fragile. What if she were to sway like she did earlier but didn’t have me there to catch her? She could fall to the stone floor and crack her head open.

I freeze. Should I go back?

No. I stop myself. She said she would be fine, I have to respect that. Besides, I sigh, focusing on the bigger picture. I can check on her tomorrow. In the meantime, Baranor might have insight.

It’s still early, only five o’clock or so, and Baranor is exactly where I expect him to be — the healing wards. Like me, his is not prone to taking an extended period without work.

He sees me coming and greets me with a smile, passing along a small jar to another healer clothed in a robe of pale green. “We’re attempting to develop a new salve for burns,” he explains. “What brings you to the healing wards?”

I sigh, suddenly feeling exhausted under the stress of the last twenty minutes. So much could have gone wrong. “Cosima.”

Baranor’s brow furrows in concern and he directs me to what looks to be an extra office loaned to him — it’s already covered in his belongings and notes. He sits in the oversized chair behind the desk, clasping his hands in front of him. “What happened?”

I practically sink into the chair across from him. “We agreed to meet this evening in her room so I could begin to teach her self-defense. She seemed fine when I arrived — her usual personality, bright eyes, didn’t seem tired. One second she was laughing, and the next, gasping in pain. I-I mean, Baranor, you should have seen it.” I gulp at the memory, reliving the moment Cosima’s condition shifted. “All the life left her face and she swayed like she was going to faint. I caught her and sat her on the couch but she pitched forward and nearly vomited. She said she had a headache. When the sickness and pain faded enough for her to open her eyes, she looked absolutely exhausted. She said she wants to rest so I left her room and came straight here.”

Baranor nods, looking calm. “How long did the episode last?”

I concentrate on the memory, though everything in me wants to shy away. “Maybe three minutes?”

Baranor dips his head as if expecting this. “Humans are much more fragile than elves—you know this. If they do not sleep enough or get proper nutrients, they can become susceptible to headaches and mild sicknesses — even stress can have that effect on them. Sometimes headaches can be severe, in which case they are called migraines and usually come with nausea, dizziness, and more intense pain.”

My eyes widen. That’s terrifying. Such normal things that wouldn’t do much to an elf — stress, inadequate sleep, water, food — can incapacitate a human. How much more vulnerable to serious circumstances they must be — injury, for instance.

But Baranor only looks infuriatingly serene. I have to remind myself that he encounters things like this every day, even if he does typically treat ellyn. Mild fluctuations in health do not alarm him because he knows how they are likely to turn out and how to threat a patient if their health declines further.

“I will check on her in the morning after she’s had time to rest, but do not worry, mellon nîn. This is just something that happens to humans from time to time.”

I take a deep breath, leaning against the back of the chair. “Alright. Thank you. I’m sorry to burst in on your work.”

He waves off my apology. But, after a pause, he grimaces.

My stomach sinks. “What?”

He speaks much too slowly for my liking. “I do not want to alarm you, but there’s a chance Elrond might mention something to you or your brothers, and I’d rather you hear it from me so you are not caught off guard.”

I feel my eyes widening and attempt to reign in my expression. “What, Baranor?”

He sighs. “When we first encountered Cosima, she was as good as dead. Her fæ was so far gone, I had to expend serious energy calling her back. I…I had hoped that because she had actually made the choice to wake up that she would acclimate well—make a full recovery. When I dealt with her arm after the attack, I again used the power in my fæ to heal her. I noticed that there is still something…‘off’ in her own fæ.”

I feel my jaw lock. A roaring rushes through my ears. “Off?”

“Yes,” Baranor nods steadily. “Alex’s is the same way. Both the human spirits seem…torn, almost, or wounded. Like I said, ‘off’. I spoke to Elrond and he has agreed to work with them both. He believes their memory loss could related to the injuries in their fæs and, as we heal their memories, their fæs will repair themselves. Our working theory is that the memory loss is so severe it has caused the fæ to forget, almost like the memories were violently cut out of it. I do not know what that means but I think it likely originated when they arrived in this world, possibly before when they somehow transferred from their world to ours — it’s logical to think that had some impact on their fæs.”

I exhale slowly, taking all this information in.

It is alarming, to say the least.

A fæ should not be damaged…it could cause an elf to fade.

But humans are different, I reason. The health of their spirits isn’t tied to their longevity. Well — I have to correct myself. Maybe it is and humans just don’t live long enough to know for sure. I try to turn my focus back to Baranor — these worrisome thoughts are not helpful. “Do you believe this poses a threat to them?”

Baranor grimaces. “I cannot say for sure, but my instinct is that it’s not as long as they receive proper care — almost a physical therapy of sort, but for their fæs. Again, I would not have bothered you with this if I didn’t think Elrond might bring it up.”

I set him with a stern look. “Any information about the health of those in my care is of concern to me. I ask that you keep me updated.”

He bows his head. “Of course.”

I stand, feeling like I need sleep but knowing my mind is racing too much to do so. I say farewell to my friend and catch an attendant on the way to my room, requesting that dinner be sent to my chambers. I don’t feel like eating in the company of the hall. Part of me wonders if I should have the attendant take food to Cosima, just in case she’s decided she’s hungry, but I remind myself that she is perfectly capable of requesting her own dinner. If she wishes to eat, she can arrange it.

That doesn’t stop me from tucking away a banana and some bread just in case she hasn’t eaten by the time I visit her tomorrow. Proper nutrients, enough rest, sufficient hydration, and low stress.

Right as I cut into dinner, Rumil swaggers in with a plate of his own. He snorts, joining me at the small table. “Great minds, huh?” He leans towards me, furrowing his brow and studying me more intently. “Are you alright? You look pale.”

I roll my eyes, trying to cover my anxiety. “I’m always pale.”

Rumil huffs. “Come on, what’s bothering you?”

I sigh. Rumil is probably going to hear it from Elrond or Baranor anyway, so I may as well tell him. I start from the beginning. “I visited Cosima this evening.” Rumil sits back in his chair, a strange look in his eye. Could he already know? How? “I meant to teach her to defend herself, but not long after I arrived, she—she just got sick. Within a moment’s difference, she was nearly collapsed on the floor.” I shake my head against the memories but dutifully recount the full story to my brother, including Baranor’s observations and theory.

By the end, Rumil slumps in his seat, staring over my shoulder with a distant look in his eye. He’s silent for a long time.

“Haldir I…I owe you an apology. Cosima, too, though I don’t think she’d understand why.”

I furrow my eyebrows. What could he be sorry for?

“I’ve been teasing you both lately and have been encouraging your feelings for each other. It was wrong of me — I didn’t consider her mortality and what pursing a relationship with her would mean. I won’t do it anymore, I promise. Can you forgive me?”

I blink. What? “I don’t have feelings for her.”

Rumil sets me with a dubious look. “I’m your brother, you can be honest with me.”

“I don’t have feelings for her,” I repeat, more forcefully this time. Rumil’s being ridiculous. And the youngest of my brothers — his age is showing.

He huffs, looking to the ceiling as if to request strength from the Valar. “Are you really so unaware of yourself? Of her?” At my look of annoyance, he groans, seeming like he wants to push it. I set my shoulders, making it clear that we will be discussing this no further.

Finally, Rumil shakes his head, turning his gaze to his meal. “Fine, I am sorry, I can see I’ve overstepped my bounds. Forget it.”

I return to my food, watching my brother warily. His shoulders sag and he looks almost…scared. His distress is apparent, even if his accusations are baseless. He brings his eyes back to mine and the grief there causes me to freeze. What is going on with my brother?

“But Haldir…Be careful. She will be dead long before this age is done, and that is if she chooses to stay in this world.”

My fork falls to my plate.

A hollow, aching feeling makes my chest feel tight.

I don’t even know what to say to that.

Rumil stands and places a hand on my shoulder, squeezing briefly. Then, he makes for the exit. “I will leave you to your thoughts.”

And then he closes the door behind him and I am indeed alone with these terrifying thoughts.

A/n This one is shorter than the others I’ve posted, but I feel like it’s kinda dense and it was a good place to leave off. Thanks for reading! Likes, comments, and reblogs make my day! Also, if you have any thoughts/theories, I would love to know those! @eru-vande sent me one the other day and it was really fun!

|next part|

|masterlist|

Tolkien tag list: @anangelwhodidntfall @eru-vande

Haldir tag list: @tolkien-apologist

Double Heart tag list: @lainphotography @themerriweathermage @thophil2941btw @kenobiguacamole @wishingtobeinadifferentuniverse @from-patroclus-with-love @boywivlove @ordinarymom1 @my-darling-haldir @sweet-bea-blossom @moony-artnstuff

[galoots]

Promt 1

Prompt 1 -- “You’re the only thing left that is important to me now.”

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Scrooge was a hard worker.

That had always been true. But ever since the untimely death of his sister and her husband, his resolve to work had strengthened tenfold. He spent every moment he could focused on work. For any time not spent on work or caring for Donald was a moment he spent mired in grief.

Far better to work himself to the bone, then to stop and feel, for even a moment, the terrible loss he’d suffered.

And Donald, poor Donald. Only a babe and no mother or father to hold him. All that was left was a sad sack excuse of an uncle to look after him now. And clearly one that was failing in his parental duties. Every night Donald had spent in his uncle’s care, the baby had slept fitfully, waking up in the middle of the night with a heart-wrenching cry that ripped Scrooge from his own restless sleep.

Tonight’s awakening sent Scrooge tumbling from his bed and onto the floor. Panicked and tangled in his bedsheets, Scrooge neglected donning his housecoat and sprinted to his babe in only the thin nightshirt he wore to bed.

The halls of his home felt longer at night, cloaked in darkness, and keeping him away from his distressed child. Reaching Donald’s room after what felt like an eternity, Scrooge threw open the door to the hastily arranged nursery.

Donald was lying in his crib. Right where he’d left him. But he’d become unswaddled with his thrashing and his tiny fists were balled up by his side. The boy’s face was red and tear streaked.

Scrooge had yet to decipher the various coded cries of his nephews in a short stint as a parent. What was wrong? Was he hungry? In pain? Colicky? Upset? How was Scrooge to tell the difference? Hortense would have known what was wrong.

Did he miss his mom?

The thought stung Scrooge. Hortense was the one thing Scrooge couldn’t be for Donald. No matter how hard he tried.

He laid a gentle hand on Donald’s forehead—feverish. A spike of fear struck Scrooge’s gut and sent a chill through his body. His baby was sick. With what? The parenting books Scrooge had been voraciously reading flashed through his mind. What illness could it be? A cold? Pneumonia? Croup? Influenza? Something worse?

Meningitis, perhaps? Infants were susceptible to the bacterial infection. It could kill his child. Or, at the very least, result in long-term damage. Terrifying phrases paraded around his mind like bogeymen in the night. Febrile seizures danced hand in hand with Reye’s syndrome, heel-toeing a terrifying tarantella to erratic music. The minor devils of dehydration and colic thrust their pitchforks into Scrooge’s heart. Jaundice, with its sickly yellow skin, rasped a haunting laugh—its crackled skin heaving with each exhalation. Behind them all loomed the ashen figure of Death. Its face was obscured by a gauzy veil, but still Scrooge could feel its empty sunken-eyed gaze upon him, and its ever-gnashing teeth were hungry for more.

Scrooge gripped in his child in his arms. What was he supposed to do? He couldn’t do anything. For all the power of his position in the realm of business, he still found himself helpless. The walls were closing in around him, suffocating him. Hortense would have known what to do. Hortense would have known what to do! Soon those words were all Scrooge could focus on.  

In an instant, everything caught up with Scrooge. The stress, the pain, the sleepless nights—all the things he had tried to push down so deep it couldn’t disturb him, came rushing up. A well dislodged inside him and tears poured from his eyes. He buried his face in the boy’s stomach.

“Please, please, Donald.” He needed him to be ok. “You’re all I have left,” he sobbed.

Tears soaked into the soft cotton of Donald’s onesie. “You’re the only important thing left in my life.”

“Ok, well, that’s sort of rude.” A voice commented. It cut through Scrooge’s panic with sharp-edged annoyance.

“Duckworth?” Scrooge scrubbed away his tears.

“Excuse me if I take that a little personally, Scrooge.” Duckworth, looking well put together even in the early hours of the morn, stood in the doorway with a disapproving frown.

“I didn’t—I didn’t mean—I mean I didn’t know you were—”

Duckworth shushed him. He turned on the lights and swept into the room. Like always, Duckworth exerted a calm graceful influence over the room, straightening bits and bobs as he moved effortlessly towards him. Duckworth slipped a woolen blanket over Scrooge’s shoulders before easing the child from his grasp. Scrooge hadn’t even realized he’d been shivering.

“Was I expected to sleep through that bombastic display of our little one’s vocal abilities?” Duckworth soothingly stroked Donald’s mussed up feathers and brushed away tears. “I’d say we need not worry about his lung capacity! I could hear Donald crying from my quarters. Quite the voice you’ve got on you, poppet. Right good. Give them hell, I say.”

Duckworth’s calming presence had shaken Scrooge from his panic, but it hadn’t dispelled it entirely. Scrooge clutched at the blanket on his shoulders with white-knuckled ferocity. “The boy, Donald, he’s sick, Duckworth. He’s sick.”

Duckworth smiled benevolently at his long-time friend. “Breathe, Scrooge. Everything will be ok.”

Scrooge took a shaky breath. “What do we do?”

“First of all, let’s not panic. We can take care of this. Second, we take his temperature. If it’s under 102 degrees, its probably not a cause for alarm. We’ll check for symptoms and call the pediatrician to relay our discoveries. In the meantime, we can dress him in lighter clothing and feed him some formula, so he stays hydrated.”

“But, but…” That all seemed so reasonable, yet Scrooge stoked his own anxieties out of habit. “He seemed so upset! Surely something must be terribly wrong?”

Duckworth chuckled. “He has a slight fever and he’s fussy, Scrooge. Let’s not invent problems where there are none.” He slid the boy back into Scrooge’s arms. “Have a seat in the rocking chair, alright? I think the two of you could use some calming.”

Exhausted, Scrooge sank into the seat of the offered chair. He rocked back and forth for his own benefit as much as Donald’s. As the two calmed down, Duckworth left the room to gather the necessary items.

Donald’s cries slowly abated as he was rocked. He looked up at his uncle curiously with tears still lingering in his eyes. He reached out an uncoordinated hand towards his caretaker and stroked his face. If Scrooge didn’t know any better, he’d say it was almost like the boy was trying to tell him everything would be ok.

That was ridiculous thought, but Scrooge cradled the tiny hand in his own, pressing it reverently to his face. He wasn’t sure how long they stayed like that for time slowed as he gazed at his nephew. For the first time since his frightened awakening, he felt his churning mind pause. Maybe even for the first time since he’d received the awful news of his sister’s passing.

In this moment, there was only the two of them. In this moment, Scrooge felt the pain of his loss in full. Beneath the anxieties, fear, and panic, grief throbbed like an old wound reopening.

“Hortense and Quackmore… They’re… They’re gone.” His voice caught on the last note, hitching in his throat, almost too painful to leave.

“I know.” Duckworth stood in the doorway; his arms filled with the various items they needed to treat Donald. Tears pooled in Duckworth’s eyes as he remembered his lost friends. “And we’ll always miss them.”

Scrooge hadn’t noticed his friend’s return. He’d spoken the words to himself, finally admitting what he’d lost. “But Donald, he’s… he’s all alone.”

“He has us now.”

“What if we’re not enough?” Scrooge asked, his eyes searching Duckworth’s with desperation for all the answers he didn’t have.

“We will be.”

Tears flowed free and easy from Scrooge’s eyes. This time unburdened by the weight he’d used to sink them down deep inside of him. In this room were the only two people Scrooge felt could be permitted this vulnerability. “Are you scared?”

Duckworth hadn’t expected that question. “Of course.”

“But you seem so calm! Like you know everything! You didn’t even bat an eye when I told you Donald was sick!”

Duckworth closed his eyes for a moment. “I was scared.” He moved from the doorway to Scrooge’s side, pressing his weight into Scrooge’s feathery bulk. “I’m still scared.”

He traced a finger across Donald’s cheek. “But I try to keep it together. For him.” Duckworth placed a hand on Scrooge’s shoulder. “For you.”

Scrooge leaned into Duckworth’s warm body. He said nothing. He felt there was nothing left to be said. He let himself reconcile with the thought they were moving forward together. All of three of them, making unsteady steps towards the future, sharing in uncertainty, pain and loss, as well as love.

[sohotthateveryonedied]

Just the Same

Summary:

“You’re sick.”

“You’re ugly.”

“Why didn’t you tell anyone you weren’t feeling well?”

“I’m fine.” Jason closes his eyes. “Just a little tired.”

“Uh-huh. And that’s why you have a fever?”

Read it here on AO3!

Bruce has a very simple plan for tonight, alright? He’s going to grab a quick post-patrol snack from the kitchen, then he’s going to take a shower, and then he will go promptly to bed. He’s tired. It’s been a long day. He just wants to sleep. (You absolute fool, the goblin in his brain screeches at him, because the goddamn Batman cannot get a goddamn break or else the world will literally split in two.) Fatefully, Bruce passes the den’s open doorway while half of his mind is preoccupied with sending Dick a goodnight text, and he happens to glance into the room. That’s when he stops in his tracks. Even more fatefully, Alfred is coming down the hall in Bruce’s direction, carrying a tray with a single cup of tea on it. “Alfred?” “Yes, Master Bruce?” “Were you aware that Jason was home?” Alfred looks over at where Jason is asleep on the den sofa, still in his leather jacket and boots. He doesn’t look remotely surprised by the sight. Then again, is Alfred ever surprised? “Master Jason got in while you were on patrol. I offered to make him dinner, but he said he wasn’t hungry.” Then there’s that classic Alfred Pennyworth eyebrow crease. “When he wakes up, do inform him that one does not forgo the need for nutrition when one has been dipped in a Lazarus Pit.” “I’ll be sure to do that.” “Now, if you will excuse me.” Alfred walks off with his perfectly level tray, on a perilous journey to Damian’s room. Bruce envies him. At least Alfred gets to go to sleep after Damian gets his nighttime tea. Bruce enters the den carefully, without a sound. God knows Jason hardly sleeps through the night without interruption as it is. Now, at least, he looks peaceful enough. So much time has passed since his last haircut that his hair curls against his temple, plastered with sweat. He must have come here straight from Red Hood business. At least he didn’t get blood on the couch this time. Quietly, Bruce pulls the knitted throw blanket from where it’s draped over the back of the sofa and lays it over Jason, tucking it in close when he catches a shiver rattling Jason’s teeth. Now that he’s paying attention, he can see that Jason’s cheeks are flushed as well. His mouth is locked in a grimace, even in sleep. Bruce presses the back of his hand against Jason’s forehead and clicks his tongue. Definitely a fever. Jason’s eyebrows wrinkle at the touch. His eyes crack open and take a moment to land on Bruce, sitting on the edge of the couch by Jason’s torso. It says a lot that he doesn’t go into battle mode as soon as he registers an unfamiliar presence in the room. “Mmph. Go away.” “You’re sick.” “You’re ugly.” “Why didn’t you tell anyone you weren’t feeling well?” “I’m fine.” Jason closes his eyes. “Just a little tired.” “Uh-huh. And that’s why you have a fever?” “Why don’t you mind your fucking—” Jason tumbles into a coughing fit, wet and hacking. “I’ll be right back,” Bruce tells him with a parting pat on the knee. His knees creak as he stands, heading for the bathroom down the hall. He digs through the medicine cabinet until he finds the thermometer, one of many that Alfred keeps in every bathroom in the house. He grabs a bottle of Tylenol as well. Bruce goes back to the couch and reclaims his spot next to Jason, who has stopped coughing by now, but his breathing is heavy. Bruce touches the thermometer to Jason’s temple, ignoring his weak swats. It reads out a hundred and one degrees. “When did you start feeling sick?” Jason grunts and rolls onto his side, curling in on himself. “Dunno. Yesterday, I guess.” Bruce frowns. Of course Jason would ignore any achy feelings for as long as possible. None of Bruce’s kids have a single self-preserving bone in their bodies. “Tell me your symptoms.” “Being a fucking snack.” “Jason.” Jason coughs. “Leave me alone, old man.” “Does your throat hurt?” “Yeah, so quit trying to make me talk.” “Any nausea?” Jason buries his face into a throw pillow. “You’re fuckin’ exhausting, you know that?” He sighs. “Not since last night. I’m freezing, lethargic, and my head is killing me. Happy?” Bruce hums. “It’s probably the flu.” “Yeah, no shit.” Jason closes his eyes. “Now will you leave me alone? You’re making my headache worse.” Bruce twists open the Tylenol cap and shakes out a couple of tablets into his palm. “Here.” He holds them out to Jason. Jason opens one eye, looks at the pills, and closes it again. “No.” “Jason—” “No. Don’t like pills.” Bruce can’t say he didn’t expect as much. Still, it does Jason no favors to continuously refuse any sort of medication, choosing to tough out the pain for as long as he can. It all ties back to his mother’s drug addiction, a disease which Jason watched slowly kill her over years and years. It makes sense that he’d grow up with an unwavering aversion to drugs. When Jason was a small tot, Bruce and Alfred spent what probably accumulated to hours of cajoling, trying to talk Jason into taking even the lightest painkillers. Lidocaine and numbing solutions were fine, but anything resembling a narcotic was out—and still is, apparently. It makes Bruce wonder how Jason reacted to the Lazarus Pit and its euphoria-inducing waters—part of the whole “magical healing” process. Maybe he was too out of his mind at the time to form a solid thought, much less remember his childhood trauma. This is one fight Bruce chooses not to get into, so he recaps the Tylenol and sets it aside. Miraculously, Jason is already asleep again. That’s fine with Bruce; it’s better his son sleeps this flu off than wastes his energy arguing. Trying not to jostle him too much, Bruce takes off Jason’s boots and leaves them on the carpet. He grabs the TV remote and settles in on the couch with Jason’s feet in his lap, pulling up a nature documentary on hyenas that he and Damian haven’t had the chance to finish yet. Looks like he’ll be catching up on his sleep tomorrow night. Right now, Jason needs him (despite how fervently he’ll protest as much). Honestly, this whole situation brings Bruce back to the old days. After moving into the manor, it took over six months for Jason to completely recover from the years of malnutrition he suffered on the streets. His weight was far too low for a boy his age, even more scrawny than Tim. Alfred provided Jason with plenty of vitamin supplements and extra servings at dinner to bulk him up, but his immune system was shoddy at best no matter how much weight he gained. During his Robin era it was illness after illness, from the common cold to a whammying case of pneumonia. This is the first time Jason has been sick in Bruce’s presence since his death, though. Bruce is learning about the eating habits of hyenas when Tim comes in from the kitchen with a cup of peppermint tea, despite having supposedly gone to bed three hours ago. He stands there in the doorway for a moment, looks owlishly at Jason, then at Bruce, then back to Jason. He grins. “No,” Bruce says. “You don’t even know what I was going to do!” “I know you, and the answer is no.” “Jeez, Bruce. I’m not gonna kill him.” Tim attempts to cross his arms, forgetting that he’s holding hot tea, and hisses when it scalds his arm. “The hand-in-warm-water trick’s never hurt anyone,” he mutters. “Go back upstairs. You’ll get sick.” Tim wrinkles his nose. “This is prejudice against people without spleens, you know. I could sue your ass.” “Sue me from upstairs where I can comfortably know that you won’t die from the flu.” Tim rolls his eyes, but he goes. Bruce hears him stomp up the stairs, getting quieter and quieter until the footsteps are gone entirely. Bruce shakes his head. How did he ever think that having four boys would be a good idea? He questions his younger self’s judgement every day. For the next three hours, Jason sleeps in fits and starts. He never stays awake longer than five minutes at a time, drinking water when Bruce prods him to and grudgingly letting Bruce check his temperature for any spikes. Bruce learns quite a bit about hyenas in the meantime, until the documentary ends and a new one about sea otters begins. In between the hazy bouts of wakefulness, Jason tosses restlessly in the throes of nightmare after nightmare. Beads of sweat roll down his forehead. In the back of his mind Bruce wonders, is this just the fever talking or are nightmares a nightly villain for Jason? The latter would come as no shock, but that doesn’t mean he likes the idea. Bruce runs his fingers through Jason’s sweaty curls, a reflection of years ago when he would do the same thing any time Jason had a nightmare during his youth. Jason has been cheated out of peaceful nights from the beginning. Of course, back then there wasn’t a white streak splitting the darkness of his onyx hair—a reminder of the pit water swimming in Jason’s blood. Bruce moves a lock of hair off Jason’s forehead, gentle as a moth. Jason’s eyes fly open and he jerks away from the touch, a gasp ripping up his throat. Bruce doesn’t move. He gives Jason a moment to regain his bearings, stilling the hand in Jason’s hair. Green irises lock on Bruce, frenzied. “Where?” he croaks. “The manor.” Jason takes a deep breath in, clenching his jaw. “Okay.” He lets it out. “Okay.” Bruce grabs the water bottle he’s kept on the coffee table. “Here,” he says, moving his hand down to Jason’s back and prodding a shoulder blade. “Sit up.” “Fuck you.” It comes out half groan, the illness-wrought exhaustion catching back up with Jason. “You need to hydrate.” “Double fuck you.” Bruce shrugs. “Drink half of this or I’ll call Alfred and have him convince you. Your choice.” Jason rolls his eyes and snatches the bottle. Bruce will take that as a victory. Jason sits up with enormous effort, groaning at the aches in his body until he’s upright next to Bruce. He drinks the water, wincing when it hits his sore throat. “What were you dreaming about?” Bruce ventures to ask. Jason lowers the bottle to narrow his eyes at Bruce like he’s the biggest idiot in this room. “Shut up.” The annoying part is that Bruce genuinely has no idea what Jason’s nightmare could have been about. His childhood? His death? His resurrection? Any of the traumatic things that could have happened afterward, ones that Bruce wasn’t there for? There is such a disconnect between the two of them now. He should count it a blessing that they have moments like this, though Bruce would greatly prefer spending time with Jason while he isn’t sick and miserable. But Bruce will take it, nonetheless. Jason drains a sufficient amount of water, only to lurch forward in another coughing fit as soon as he gets in a breath. “Christ,” he rasps, eyes watering. “Just fucking shoot me already, will ya?” Bruce rubs his back. “I could tranq you, if you really think it would help. But I can’t guarantee that one of your brothers won’t take advantage of that and draw mustaches on your face while I’m not looking.” “Har, har. You’re a fucking comedian now.” Jason’s voice is coarse as gravel, scraping up his vocal cords. “Want some tea? It’ll help soothe your throat.” “Later. Just wanna...sleep for now.” In spite of everything he stands for, Jason tips his head to rest it on Bruce’s shoulder. Whether it was intentional or he’s just so disoriented from the fever that he has no idea he’s even doing it, Bruce won’t take the gesture for granted. Jason is shivering, so Bruce pulls the blanket tighter around his shoulders where it slackened during his sleep. Then, in a riskier maneuver, he puts his arm around Jason and pulls him in close like he did so many times when Jason was a lot shorter and a lot less jagged around the edges. Bcuce still loves him just the same. Jason leans into Bruce’s warmth instinctively, but he warns, “Tell anyone about this and I’ll shatter your clavicle.” “Mm-hm.” “I mean it. You’ll need a goddamn orthopedic surgeon to fix you up if you breathe a word of this to anyone.” “I believe you.” It must be a good enough answer because Jason closes his eyes, relaxing in Bruce’s hold. “The only reason I’m gonna say this is ‘cause my brain is melting,” Jason says, “but...thanks. For being here.” He yawns. “Being sick alone fuckin’ sucks.” “I hear you.” “And keep Tim away from me, ‘kay? I don’t trust the little snot not to pull something.” Bruce snorts and unpauses the otter movie. “Go to sleep, Jay.”

[morethanaprincess-a]

@siilkyhearts​ said:  “I’ll be fine. I think. Maybe.” (from Ibuki? :) )

‘Something’s Wrong’ Sentence Starters

Ibuki insisted she was fine, though she didn’t seem terribly confident about it. Neither was Sonia, who had been busy setting several tables and setting various dishes down for lunch in the hotel dining room when Ibuki had wandered in. She’d expected Akane to visit first, the Ultimate Gymnast unable to stay away from the scent of food for too long. Even without Hanamura to cook for them, with other students pitching in, they wouldn’t go hungry. Other students who weren’t the Ultimate Princess: it took a single day for the lot of them to unanimously decide Sonia would not be in charge of the cooking. Ever.

But it had been Ibuki who had returned to the hotel first, fresh from exploring the second island, like the rest of the group, with an intent of finding a way out of their predicament. Now that the talking bear’s threats of murder and execution had become terrifyingly real, they were more motivated than ever to find a way out. And yet, she wondered if the Ultimate Musician was, like her, unaccustomed to the heat and the work: she seemed dazed, dizzy even, with flushed skin and a fatigue that barely kept her upright. Setting down the cold cucumber salad she’d been carrying, Sonia quickly fetched one of the chairs and brought it over for her to sink into.

“Let’s let Mikan-san be the judge of that, Mioda-san,” She smiled encouragingly to her. She was no medical professional, but at least there was someone with them who was qualified to offer such advice. In the meantime, Sonia had to rely on her former military training: it hadn’t been all about firearms and tactics. She’d learned first aid as well, something she could assist in administering on the battlefield if it ever came to that. Disinfecting wounds, treating bruises, creating splints, and bringing down fevers had been the bulk of her education on that front, but if her fellow student was weak and overly warm, the logical solution was to cool her off and have her rest. “Please sit here and I’ll fetch you something to drink, okay?”

Her red heels clicked against the wooden floors as she quickly disappeared into the kitchen, re-emerging shortly with a large bottle of water, a bowl, and a clean hand towel. Sonia set them down gently on the table beside the other girl before unscrewing the cap of the bottle, passing it to her. “Please, drink this first. You may just need to be hydrated but the cool water may feel good against your skin as well. Are you hungry at all?”

[natur-body]

A 30-day gut cleanse diet plan with body detox and weight loss benefits

A 30-day gut cleanse diet plan with body detox and weight loss benefits 30-day gut cleanses diet plan may be a universal program for gut detox, body detox, and weight loss. This diet is predicated on low-calorie foods that remove mucus from the gut and every one of your body, replenish healthy gut microbiome,

 supply your body with enough vitamins and alkaline minerals for it to detoxify without stressing your elimination organs: liver and kidneys. The diet plan assures rapid weight loss – from 18 to twenty lbs – with no sense of hunger. It also cleans your blood, improves skin quality, cures acne, may relieve symptoms of asthma and other chronic conditions. If you retain the main part of this diet plan for the remainder of your life you'll reduce your aging rate (1) and avoid most illnesses connected to elderly life.

Why GUT DETOX may be a MILESTONE of each detox program?

Full detox is unimaginable without gut cleanse. only a few people know that the part of the food we eat never leaves our body and stays in our gut for the remainder of our lives. the rationale for its mucus that's formed by the walls of our intestines as the gut attempts to guard itself against the unnatural products: dairy, starchy carbs, highly refined and deep-fried foods. This mucus hinders the full elimination of poop and provides a good foundation for pathogenic bacteria to thrive. For more on this subject please visit my blog: “6 amazing health benefits of cleaning your gut”

The ULTIMATE GUT CLEANSE DIET

There are many 3 days gut cleanse programs available on the internet. you'll indeed eat certain food today to stimulate good movement tomorrow but this may be distant from having a clean, mucus-free, and toxin-free gut, healthy gut flora, slim belly, and therefore the sensation of lightness which will not be compared to anything.

The secret of gut cleanse is in raw fruits and vegetables. Every fruit and vegetable in raw form has gut cleansing properties and each cooked food is mucus forming. If you turn to completely raw food your gut will start detoxing already in few days from your diet change. After one month of gut cleanse each of your movements will offer you a sensation of emptiness and lightness such as you haven't experienced before. which will be the proper sign that your gut has cleaned. That’s what went on to me on a raw vegan diet, however, due to amazing cravings for cooked food, a fully raw diet is extremely difficult to follow. For folks that can't imagine surviving on salads, this 30-day diet plan includes some cooked food that is the smallest amount of mucus-forming by their nature.

A gut cleanses consists of three stages: 1. Hydrating colon 2. Stimulating movement for the elimination of poisons. 3. Providing enough fiber for healthy gut flora to multiply. Luckily most of the foods you'll be eating have most of those three mentioned qualities.

How to START A GUT CLEANSE DAY?

The best thanks to starting a gut cleansing day are by drinking a few cups of a probiotic drink. The drink has a light sower, pleasant taste, and is full of positive bacteria that helps your gut replenish the pathogenic gut flora with a healthy one. you'll be ready to easily prepare this drink in large quantities reception only with cabbage and filtered water with the assistance of the blender. For the precise recipe please visit my blog. If you'd wish to make this drink more flavorsome there's a recipe for this too.

Drinking fermented drinks in the morning will assist you better suits the new diet and avoid bloating. However, if you're lazy to organize this drink, you'll choose the better option: start the day with a few cups of straightforward lemon water but don't miss drinking a cup of ultimate gut cleanse remedy before getting to bed. The gut cleanses remedy should be taken for 10 days at the initial stage of your gut cleanse diet plan.

How to organize GUT CLEANSE BREAKFASTS?

For breakfast, it's excellent to eat fruits that have the properties of the hydrating colon and diluting the mucus. All watery fruits have hydrating qualities, but watermelon may be a queen of colon cleanse. If you are doing the cleanse in summer I like to recommend eating watermelon a day – once you eat watermelon in large quantities it can cause movement almost directly.

You can enjoy the following fruits that are listed consistent with their gut cleansing properties:

For the summer season: 1. Watermelon 2. Melon 3. Papaya 4. Pineapple 5. Strawberries 6. Pears 7. cucumbers 8. Tomatoes.

For winter season: 1. Grapefruits (juice grapefruits) 2. Oranges 3. Tangerines 4. Kiwi. 5. Apples

Please note that so as for these fruits to wash your gut you've got to consume them in large quantities – some people are scared of eating fruits believing that they're too high in sugars. that's not so. For scientific proof please visit my blog: “Why you ought to not be scared of fruits while losing weight – Glycemic index VS glycemic load”

Eat as many fruits to satisfy you for breakfast and if you are feeling hungry eat some more fruits from the list. Avoid eating oatmeal, whole grain bread, and therefore the foods that are generally considered as a healthy option. These foods could be healthier than pancakes, but they're still mucus-forming, therefore they are doing not fit into the gut cleansing concept.

The best GUT CLEANSE LUNCH

The best thing you'll eat for lunch is a green smoothie that has tremendous cleansing properties. With green smoothies, you'll even clean the oven in your kitchen. Pour a touch little bit of green smoothie on an unclean tray and leave overnight. the subsequent day you'll be ready to clean it only with a wet towel. an equivalent cleansing effect green smoothie will wear your gut, blood vessels, liver, and kidneys. The fiber in green smoothies feeds healthy bacteria in your gut and facilitates positive macrobiotic that on the opposite hand strengthens your system (2). For smoothie cleanse to be effective you ought to drink 1.5 Lt (50 ounces) of smoothie per day. For more benefits you'll get on smoothies please visit my blog: “Stop aging now! – regain back the natural color of your hair, Improve your eyesight, gain muscles without exercise”.

For smoothie recipes please visit my blog: “One formula for 1000 different green smoothie recipes”.

GUT CLEANSE DINNER

The best dinner for gut cleans is raw low starch vegetable salads: Finely chop cabbage, carrot, radish, beetroot, cauliflower, cut cucumber, and tomatoes. Convert them into multiple salads using different combinations and various salad dressings with lemon, olive oil, avocados, raw nuts, green pesto, and homemade tomato salsa. just in case you've got problems digesting vegetables in a raw form you'll cook them. the simplest cooked low starch vegetables are steamed broccoli and cauliflower, baked or boiled beetroot, stir-fried cabbage, and carrots. Make some research on the way to convert these vegetables into tasty dishes.

GUT CLEANSE SNACKS AND SWEETS

On a gut cleanse diet anything from raw fruits, dried fruits, vegetables, and nuts are often eaten as snacks and sweets. find out how to make raw nut pestos and luxuriate in them with bell pepper or celery sticks. Or, simply snack on cucumbers or carrots. For sweets, you'll enjoy dates and nuts, raw avocado pudding, or bananas. confine mind that fruits should be eaten before vegetables, not after. Eating fruits after the vegetables causes fermentation in the gut (3) – this doesn't slot into the gut cleanse diet plan.

Which FOODS TO AVOID on Gut cleanse diet

On a gut cleanse diet you ought to avoid any meat, eggs, and dairy that feed pathogenic gut flora and are very mucus forming by their nature. the sole exception is unpasteurized yogurt and kefir that contains positive gut bacteria, however, they also contribute to mucus formation to a particular extent, therefore should be taken in moderate quantities and not every single day. If you add one teaspoon of grained flax seeds in unpasteurized kefir. this may bring gut cleansing properties to the drink.

You should also avoid all kinds of refined sugars, refined carbs and whole-grain foods, even oatmeal – as they're all highly mucus forming and may hinder the cleaning process.

What could be THE SIDE EFFECTS OF GUT CLEANS?

The side effects of gut cleanse are connected to eating a high amount of raw fiber that causes fast replenishment of the gut microbiome. The change of gut flora takes a few weeks, meantime you would possibly experience bloating and gas, some people complain that their movement stops for several days at the start of the program. don't be afraid. attempt to drink more probiotic drink which will help relieve symptoms.

How to SUCCEED ON GUT CLEANSE DIET?

I understand that this diet plan isn't getting to be easy for an individual adjusted to eating pizzas and burgers and no fiber in the least. Organizing a gut cleanse diet does require a while and energy to master new recipes. to achieve this diet I like to recommend doing it with a partner or with a lover. you'll be ready to monitor one another, observe your weight loss results, share recipes and cook together.

[mollydollyjournals]

I'm 155.2lbs so back under 156 🎉 I really hope these scales are accurate. If so they're pretty awesome and I love having everything just there in the app rather than having to remember it and write it down and draw up my own graphs etc (it's these for anyone interested)

I noticed my body fat and stuff was also going down which is good, but then I decided to have a look at some of the other individual readings:

I don't really know what the number is supposed to actually be for visceral fat. Pounds? It's not specified. I guess if it were pounds it'd have a decimal. But it's gone from 9 to 8 and I was worried about having a lot of visceral fat so it's good that my number isn't very high. I'd definitely like for it to be a lot lower but this is better than I thought it'd be

I hadn't realised my body water was only just in the acceptable range. I guess it makes sense as I don't drink much water and have a lot of coffee or sometimes alcohol. Definitely need to do better on that one. It just always feels like such a chore to stay hydrated. Everyone says you get used to it but I never have, it just stays a chore the whole time. Anyway I guess I still have to keep trying

Skeletal muscle being low is...weird. For one thing I hadn't realised that's what the blue meant. The colour coding here implies that having a low skeletal muscle percentage is good? I don't really know. I don't understand this one. I guess I'll go look it up in a bit.

So. I'm super tired today. Suuuuper tired. Probably because I drank a bit yesterday. I was kind of trying to see how much I could drink seeing as my tests all said I'm fine. But I'm definitely still not fine. I had just under 2 units and I felt terrible and now I have a hangover. One hand is a little yellow again. Idk. There doesn't seem to be much I can do about that anymore, unless my doctor knows of something else. But I doubt it. So I'm just going to act according to my symptoms, which means moderate drinking etc.

Today I want to not drink anything. I have a bit left over from yesterday but I might just pour it away. I have more cans in storage but I won't want to open them for no reason. So I want to not drink today and hopefully have the energy to work out tomorrow. I might try to take a short walk today if I'm able.

I'm really hungry and it's annoying me. As in craving. I know exactly what I'm craving and it's not necessarily unhealthy but just...I already had a less healthy breakfast than I would want so I kind of feel like not eating the rest of the day. That's what I did yesterday (I had the bit of alcoholic fruit drinks so it wasn't a fast, I just didn't actually eat). Alternatively if I had the money and energy I could make myself a low cal soup version of what I want. But I'm really tired and in that case maybe I should just stick with nothing. But then maybe I'm risking binging. Ugh. I'm gonna have to think of acceptable foods for today. I really don't want my weight to bounce back up tomorrow. Originally I wanted to be at 140-145 by the end of January but of course I've had barely any change again. I need to stop drinking so I have the energy to work out and make decent foods. That's my best bet. But I shouldn't fuck it up in the meantime.

On the plus side, I just took some semi-nudes to test...I definitely look better. Still horrible. But I'm getting my shape back. I got a massive belly bulge these past couple of years, and the past few months I've kind of gone from ( . ) to | . | which is an improvement. I look like...chunky curvy. As opposed to just a lump all over. So I think with some proper angles and tbh probably some retouching, I could take some nudes and like... actually flirt properly with bf again. It's been a while since I did that. During a pandemic it's something that I should really do more, and I've wanted to, I just hate my body. But my torso is definitely smaller than it was. I can literally feel it. I won't say I slept well because I hardly ever sleep well for all kinds of reasons, but it's so much more comfortable lying down now because my belly isn't hanging over and my back fat isn't bunching up. I feel a lot smaller and it's so much nicer. Just need to do more to get back to where I was, then do more to finish up.

[marshmallow-phd]

Secret in His Eyes

Spinoff of Sins of the Father

Genre: Mafia Au

Pairing: Luhan x Reader

Summary: A vacation exploring China’s famous city was supposed to be relaxing. When you witness a horrifying murder, you instead find yourself in police custody, unable to run. Trying to stay alive, you meet Luhan, and you believe you can trust him. You never imagined that he might be the one you should be running from.

Part: Prologue I 1 I 2 I 3 I 4 I 5 I 6 I 7 I 8 I 9 I 10 I 11 I 12 I Final

**

You let out of a groan as you came to again. The steady beeping somewhere above you told you where you were before you even opened your eyes. The slight stinging pressure in the crook of your left arm also told you that the doctor was successful in getting his way. To your surprise, you actually felt… better. Your head no longer felt like it was going to explode and you could move your muscles without too much difficulty. 

“If you’re going to be awake, you might as well open your eyes.”

Ugh. It was him. 

But you did it anyway, glaring at him with narrowed eyes. “What do you want?” you growled. 

He smirked. “Well, I-”

A hand appeared on his shoulder, stopping him before he could voice whatever thought he was trying to convey. You followed up the arm to see that it was the doctor who had joined you. 

“He came to apologize for giving you too much of the drug and almost causing permanent damage,” Yixing stated for him, looking down at the man who’d basically poisoned you with narrowed eyes. “Isn’t that right?”

The man rolled eyes, sighing. Looking at you with a gaze that you weren’t sure was genuinely apologetic, he said, “I am sorry. I… shouldn’t have given you that much and that could have killed you.”

“Wouldn’t that just make things easier for your boss?” you snapped. 

Yixing frowned as if he were confused, but the man sitting down held up a hand to silence him. With their back and forth dynamic, you couldn’t really tell who was over who in this relationship. Did all mafias have a sort of hierarchy? 

“No one wants you dead,” the man said steadily. The sudden calmness in his voice surprised you. Where did this come from? Not quite a softness was present, but it was certainly something different from his earlier haughty attitude. “We need you alive. I was just… stupid. I acted impulsively. For that, I’m sorry.”

You didn’t quite forgive him. It felt silly to forgive the man that’d kidnapped you and was now holding you hostage. But you did nod, showing that you least acknowledged the policy. 

Seemingly satisfied himself, Yixing came around to the other side of the hospital bed you were lying in and sat down in the empty chair. 

“Your vitals are all back to normal and you’re properly hydrated again,” he explained. “I won’t pin you down here anymore than you have to be, but you should eat something.” With careful hands, he took out your IV before placing a small swatch of cotton over the tiny hole and taping it down. 

Immediately, you threw the thin blanket off of you and tried to get out of the bed, but apparently, your actions were a bit too swift for the doctor. 

“Whoa,” he stopped you with a hand on each shoulder. “Please, take it slow. For my sake, if not your own.”

You suddenly felt sheepish under his concerned gaze. “Sorry.”

Yixing gave you a soft smile. “It’s alright. Just take it easy. Let me know if you start to feel dizzy or unwell in the slightest, please.” At your silent agreement, he stood up and walked out of the room, the only goodbye to his colleague being a pat on the shoulder as he passed. 

The doctor didn’t fit in here. Even though he was only one of two you’d met here, you could already tell he was different. Someone you could trust. 

Now that it was just you and the man who’d put you here, things became awkward. You sat there on the edge of the bed in silence, unsure of what to do next. Satisfying your hunger seemed to be the best option, but you didn’t know how to do that. Should you ask? Should you wait for food to be brought to you? You didn’t really expect to be waited on hand and foot here so that second one was probably out. A soft gurgle bubbled in your stomach that chased away the silence. 

Exhaling, the man stood up to his feet. “Come on.”

“Where are we going?” Probably back to your room, idiot. 

“You need food,” was all he said over his shoulder before disappearing into the hallway. You shivered when your bare feet hit the cold tile, but you quickly ran after him. 

He walked slowly down the hall, neither speaking nor looking back at you. It didn’t bother you, though, and you took this opportunity to take in your location. Paintings of China’s landscapes with lengths wider than your arm span hung on the dark wooden walls. A few plants or vases sat on decorative columns that were spaced evenly between the paintings. 

To be honest, the decorations were of the cliché sort, making this place feel more like a movie set than an actual person’s home. Nothing here described what the owner was like or even gave any hints as to what he looked like. You wanted some form of illustration so you knew who to avoid if you accidentally came across him. Him… and the other two. If you could keep your interactions limited to Yixing and this man, you figured you could fair a lot better in the end. 

“Okay, here we are.” The man spread out his arms as if he was introducing you to an ancient artifact or old building that he thought you would appreciate. “Have at it.”

You stared at him, confused. 

He dropped his arms before folding them across his chest. “Are you not aware of how a kitchen works?”

“I know how it works!” you barked. Your stomach growled ferociously as if to underline your statement. “It’s just… Is there anything off limits?”

“Off limits?” he echoed. 

“Yes. Anything that I shouldn’t touch in order to avoid pissing anyone off?”

The man – whose name you still did not know – rolled his eyes. “Everything is open for you. Except for the alcohol. Kris will cut your hand off if you touch his expensive whiskey.”

“Kris?”

“One of the ‘big three’,” he clarified with a grin. 

Suppressing a groan, you marched over to the refrigerator and threw the doors. Alcohol was absolutely the last thing you wanted right now. You’d already been doped up to the point of grogginess and blacking out. Why would you want to put something else in your system that would lead to the same end? 

As you analyzed the shelves, you wanted to throw something. It was painfully obvious that men were the main occupants of the house, given the contents. While the shelves weren’t completely empty, everything that was provided was meant to be quick and easy. Some food items you couldn’t quite tell what they were, but you did luck out with some lunch meat and cheese. The bread was easy enough to find in the cabinets to the left and you made yourself a nice sized sandwich to give you some strength back. 

You stayed standing at counter as you munched happily on your food, too lazy to go see if there was a table to properly sit at. In the meantime, you’d almost forgotten the company you were keeping. 

“Is that all you’re going to eat?” your intruder asked as he slid up next to you. 

“For now, yes,” you replied, keeping your focus on the sandwich. 

“For now.” He seemed amused as he bobbed his head and smiled. “Well, if you do get hungry later, you can come back here. Hopefully you remember the way. But that’s it.” He suddenly had a seriousness about him that wasn’t even present during your first meeting. “Here and your room are the only two places you’re allowed to be. There’s cameras everywhere, so we’ll know if you sneak off somewhere else. Got it?”

Like you’d actually want to risk venturing off anywhere else. You gave him a mock salute. “Yes, sir.”

You weren’t entirely sure where this sass was coming from. There was just something about this guy that made you want to be petty. Maybe it was just your general irritation at the circumstances that was egging you on and since this poor schmuck was a big reason as to why you were here… well, that meant he got the brunt of it. 

He let out a short, shocked laugh at your tease. “You know. Not many people treat me that way.”

That actually surprised you. “Really? I thought everyone but the head honchos in charge got treated that way.”

Turning around so his back was against the counter with his elbows to lean on, he smirked at you. “Not me.”

“Well,” you snorted, “aren’t you special for a punk?”

“Hey! Who are you calling a punk?”

By the fire in his eyes, you were trudging on dangerous territory. It took extra effort to swallow the bite you were currently chewing on, your throat thick with growing fear. Perhaps poking the harmless looking bear was a bad idea. You suddenly remembered the fact that he’d shot the cop who was looking after you in the motel. Did help come in time for him? Or had he bled out on the stained carpet? 

Looking down at the counter to avoid eye contact, you murmured, “Sorry.”

“Why did you do that?” he asked equally as soft. 

You risked glancing up at him, thinking he was still on that wave of anger. But the expression on his face was one of confusion. “Did what?”

The crease between his eyebrows deepened as he clarified, “Suddenly become scared of me.”

You scoffed. “There is no ‘suddenly’ about it. You kidnapped me, shot the guy who was guarding me, and brought me here to this random place for an indefinite amount of time. Fear has been the dominant emotion since I was in that alley. The only change is whether I’m fighting back to hide it or keeping my mouth shut to stay alive.”

“We’re not going to kill you.”

You had a very hard time believing that. 

The man rolled his eyes. “Fine. Don’t believe me. Only time will do that.”

“Why?” you asked bravely. 

“There’s no reason to,” he replied. A silent “yet” hung in the air. Or maybe you were inserting that yourself. And there were a few reasons as to why. 

“Well, you haven’t told me your name,” you pointed out. “That could be considered a hint that you’re planning to kill me. Why bother introducing yourself if you’re just going to take me out.”

Conflict was etched all over his face. Had you hit the nail on the head? Or was there another reason that he hadn’t bothered to tell you his name? The doctor was quick to introduce himself, to make him seem more relatable and trustworthy. You didn’t necessarily want the man to tear down the wall that was very obviously sky high between the two of you. It was obvious that it needed to be there and you wanted it to stay there. Humans or not, these men were dangerous and would shoot you if you put one toe out of line. But… you kind of wanted to stop referring to him as “The man”. 

With a sigh, he took a step towards you, still leaning on the counter with one elbow while he held out his other hand. “I’m Lin Chong. You can call me ‘Lin’.”

You stared at the hovering hand with knitted eyebrows. It stayed there, waiting for you as you flickered your eyes between it and the face and the owner. But then you took it. You shook his hand and gave a small smile that you couldn’t hold back. 

As soon as he let go of your hand, he walked out of the kitchen. Now that you were alone, you were more confused than ever. Why did you smile? Even a tiny turn up of the corner of your mouth was inappropriate. This was not a place to be warm and open. You needed to keep your shield high and your guard up. Even if Lin did have a pretty face. 

A pretty face that could put you six feet under. 

[xaracosmia]

ꕥ — INBOX RUN COMPLETE!

a nice chill little inbox run today! all apps, reserves, drops, etc. have been processed! if something was missed, it was probably because tumblr was hungry, so please let us know!!

in the meantime, make sure you all stay hydrated, unshrimp, and have a fantastic day!

ꕥ — MOD PASTEL & MOD NEFE

[fanficcreator2021]

The Rise Of The Kitsune

Part 2

I was in the room of the old man who had helped me in quotes.

I still had the wounds on my body but apparently they were not bleeding which means that I was not dead, but I was noticing something quite unusual.

I had bandages on the injured parts and I didn't understand why.

"What? ...... What is this?"

Then the man appeared from the door and approached me but not too close to avoid hurting himself.

/ Oh my, you woke up, and tell me how do you feel? /

"What did you do to me?"

The man smiled.

/ Hmm, well while you were sleeping I put bandages on you so that your wounds could heal safely, plus I also brought you food /

"I don't want your help"

/ Oh, what a shame because I hoped to have company to eat this /

I had gotten up and approached him while i said:

"Listen old man, I do not want your company, I do not want anything from you, and if you prefer to die I assure you that I will do so with pleasure"

/ I brought you food /

"Do you think I'm your pet ?!"

/ No, you are only someone lonely who needs to eat, nothing more than that /

I had growled at him to make him understand that I wanted nothing to do with him.

But he was unfazed by doing that.

/ Aww, how adorable you look when you get mad, are you sure you don't want the food? /

"Hmmmmmpf!"

/ Huhh please, you will not do anything to me, even if you wanted to do it, you could never do something, do you know why? Because you are an ignorant being and a fool for believing that you can with everything that is put in front of you /

I had stopped instantly when I heard those words and I kept raising a paw trying to object to something but could not say anything.

"You ........ grrmmaaafgh, fine, do whatever it takes with me, kill me, make me your slave, your pet whatever I don't care about anything anymore"

/ Huh, and why do you say those things? /

"Nothing forget it, I no longer want to talk to you, I no longer want to say anything"

/ You cannot hide things always, sooner or later, you will reveal the truth to me in the moment /

"Listen to me well, I have nothing to hide from you so if you want to stay alive then you .... have ........ Gahg"

I had collapsed on the ground, feeling pain creep into my body.

"What ...... is that ..... what ......... is ..... happening to me?"

The old man had approached me.

/ You feel like this, due to the lack of food, the truth is that it surprises me that you are still alive, with that physical build, I would not believe that it was possible that someone as thin as you could continue living /

I felt weak, battered, hurt, tired, exhausted and hungry, however, being ignorant that I was, I forgot many times that I had to feed myself, instead of spending my time murdering people.

Once in a while I drank water but when I transformed the plant, it made the rivers dry up since it spread its roots through the ground until it reached the rivers, getting them to become contaminated with dirt.

So yes, the old man was right about it and he was also right about my behavior.

"Give me ...... aghhh"

The old man crouched down to hear better.

/ Hmm, what is it? /

"Give me ... give me the food"

/ Ahhh, finally, I was hoping you would say it, luckily I brought you enough food for you /

The old man approached with the bags containing rice, leaves, vegetables and other food.

/ Wait a few moments, this will take a while to prepare. ........In the meantime/

There was the sound of water being collected in a bowl.

/ Drink this, you need a lot of water, you have to hydrate safely, otherwise you will die and that is something I do not want /

He put the bowl close to my mouth and brought his hand up to my snout.

"No ..... dare ...... touch me"

/ Listen do you want to live, yes or no? /

It had taken me a few seconds to nod my head but in the end I said yes.

/ Well then open your mouth /

I had opened my mouth and the man put the bowl in my mouth, while he moved it up so that the water would go down and I could drink it.

The truth is that the water was quite cold and tasty.

The bowl was empty and I no longer felt the water fall into my mouth.

/ Well ... now, you'll have to wait for me to prepare the food. Meanwhile you can rest /

"Fine ...... whatever you want"

The man stopped holding my head, and left it lying on the ground, and I closed my eyes after exhaustion.

I don't know how long I had slept but I felt the man pat me on the head to wake me up.

/ Hey ... let's go ... wake up /

"What ...... what happened?"

/The food is ready/

"Perfect"

I sniffed the smell of cooked meat and steamed rice.

/ Wait here, I'll bring it to you myself /

I was still lying on the ground, I couldn't even move my body, but I managed to lift my head and open my eyes wide.

The old man brought two bowls, one of water and the other contained meat and a little rice.

He came closer to me, and the smell was more in my nostrils, and I must say that it smelled pretty good.

The man put the bowl of meat in front of me, and again I felt his hand on my head.

"Grrrmahg"

/ Hey, you're weak and you can't even get up, so save yourself your bitter attitude and be glad that I want to feed you, if I were someone else I would have left you out /

The man was right, no one in town would dare to even approach me, much less take care of me, so I should feel lucky and not waste this opportunity.

So reluctantly I let the man hold my head so I could feed myself.

He grabbed a piece of meat and slowly brought it closer to me and stopped a few inches away from my mouth.

/Open the mouth/

"Grrrrrrrr"

I opened my mouth slowly and he introduced the food and the taste was quite pleasant.

And you could see on my face how I enjoyed it and the old man noticed this.

/ Ahhh, you see it was not so difficult /

He kept giving me the food, until the bowl ended up being empty, but I still didn't feel satisfied and the old man understood this and brought the bowl of rice.

I was going to quickly eat it by myself but then I got a hard slap on my snout.

"Hey!"

/ Do not act like a savage, your body will not resist if you eat it quickly, so do me the favor of doing it calmly or else there will be no rice for you /

"But I want rice"

The old man took the rice bowl away from me and asked these words.

/ Hmm, what do you have to say first? /

"...................................Please"

Then he brought the bowl closer and proceeded to feed me, using the sticks so that I could eat slowly but surely.

After that I felt quite full and satisfied with the food.

The old man kept watching me for the answer he wanted.

/ Well, what do you have to say? /

"............Thank you"

/ Well ... you're not so bad after all, right /

"I will be again if you don't leave me alone"

The old man made a disappointed expression and cocked his head to the sides.

/ Huh, you have a lot to learn ....... a lot /

And so he left me, went to his room, and I proceeded to close my eyes and let my dreams take control of my mind.

That was the beginning of something that would mean a lot to what my life would be.

Forever.

[juliabohemian]

Meanwhile in Norway

Title: Meanwhile in Norway Chapter 1/1 (3300 words) Fandoms: Thor (Movies) Warnings: Spoilers for Ragnarok Characters: Loki (Marvel), Thor (Marvel)

Shakespeare, kittens and a king-sized bed. I'm not jumping on that "I'm here" bandwagon.

Meanwhile, in Norway

Thor had been gone for nearly a week. Since they had arrived on Earth, he'd been busy making arrangements to relocate the surviving citizens of Asgard. Most had remained right there, in Helgeland, but some had opted to venture inland to the more heavily populated cities and towns. Such matters required a great deal of coordination with Stephen Strange, who wanted to be kept abreast on all developments. That meant traveling back and forth to New York. Both Stephen and Thor had thought it best that Loki remain inconspicuous in the meantime. Loki -who wasn't particularly thrilled to be back on Earth in the first place- had appeared happy enough to oblige.

When Thor entered the apartment, he found it to be warm. In the corner, the fireplace was crackling. Loki was sprawled across the sofa. His long, thin legs were crossed at ankle and his bare feet were propped up on a stack of pillows and blankets. His head was tilted to the side, supported by the crook of his arm, and he was staring blankly at a large, flat-screened television. On the screen, a man and a woman, both wearing crowns upon their heads, were speaking to one another in hushed voices.

"What are you watching?" Thor asked, since nearly a minute had passed since he'd entered the apartment and Loki had not seen fit to address his arrival. If he didn't know any better, he would have thought the other man was asleep.

"Macbeth," was Loki's brief answer.

Thor sighed in acknowledgement. He wasn't terribly surprised. He was familiar with the complete works of Shakespeare. His mother had seen to it that they had been educated in classic Midgardian literature, as well as their customs and mythologies. In this strange, new place, it made sense that Loki would be clinging to some sense of familiarity, however abstract.

"And…what did you do today?" Thor prodded, gesturing at the television, "besides this."

"Nothing," Loki replied, absently. He didn't avert his gaze from the screen.

The apartment wasn't terribly large. It was -in fact- the only one they had been able to find that was both available and suitable for their needs. It had come completely furnished, which was convenient. Unfortunately, it had only one bedroom and one (appropriately named) king-sized bed. Initially, given the bed's size, they had attempted to share it. The first few nights were spent, reliving childhood memories and glorious battles, talking and laughing about their current predicament and speculating about the future. The novelty had quickly worn off, however, and Loki had eventually retreated to the sofa, citing Thor's monopolization of the bedclothes and incessant snoring as his reasons. He had even joked that there was obviously only room for one king on a king-sized bed. Thor had been fine with that, for the most part, because he certainly liked not having to share a bed with his brother. It just seemed as Loki had grown quieter and more withdrawn, since relocating to the living room.

Thor examined the kitchen from where he was standing. Unwashed dishes were piled in the sink and on the counter, but none of them appeared to have been used recently. He slowly made his way over and opened the refrigerator. Peering inside, he noted that the interior was almost completely empty, except for several bottles of Bokkøl and a sack of carrots that were very clearly no longer edible. The cupboards contained very little as well, only bags of crisps and a few cans of soup. Thor had put Loki in charge of ordering groceries to be delivered on a regular basis, but he appeared to have lapsed on his duties somewhat.

"What did you eat today?" Thor queried, hopefully.

Loki shrugged, still apparently engrossed in the television program.

"I don't remember. Check the rubbish bin."

Thor rounded the small island in the middle of the kitchen and lifted the lid on the silver trash receptacle. The liner within only contained one item, an empty, cardboard container with the word Krokan printed on the side of it.

"Oh congratulations," he remarked, "you polished off another carton of ice-cream."

"I actually think that might be from yesterday," Loki countered.

"So…you didn't eat anything today?"

"It's possible that I did," Loki offered. "I vaguely recall consuming a sandwich at some point."

Thor frowned. That couldn't be right. He knew for a fact that there hadn't been any bread in the apartment for quite some time, because he had already asked Loki several times to order some, to no avail. It seemed unlikely that Loki had managed to have some delivered and consumed it all himself, within the past six days.

"That had to be over a month ago," he replied.

Loki responded with a disinterested humph.

"Aren't you hungry?" Thor asked.

"Not particularly."

Loki normally had a decent appetite, but since they had arrived here, it seemed like he had been eating less frequently. What he did consume wasn't particularly nutritious. It was usually snacks or deserts or alcohol -mostly alcohol. Thor didn't know if it was because Loki didn't like Midgardian food or if there was something deeper going on. He was hoping it was the former, because he wasn't sure that he had the energy to investigate the latter.

"Have you at least been drinking water?"

"Uh...we're all out."

"Of what…water? You know you don't have to drink it from a bottle, right? It comes right out of the tap."

Loki issued another humph.

"Bruce was saying that people should drink at least one liter of water every day…and he's a doctor, so he knows about these things."

Loki finally looked away from the television to address his brother's claim.

"I'm pretty sure Bruce is not that kind of doctor."

"How would you even know?"

Loki shifted his position, sitting up just enough to make proper eye contact with the other man.

"I mean that he's not a physician. He's a nuclear physicist. I read his dissertation on the effects of gamma radiation on cellular regeneration. It was completely droll and boring, of course...but scientifically accurate, for the most part. Nothing in there about the benefits of frequent hydration."

Thor didn't really want to argue with Loki, especially not about something like this. Because it was so like him to have gone and read all of Dr. Banner's research, not even out of interest, but merely in case the topic ever came up during a debate. Instead he opted to address his brother's recent lack of interest in hygiene. Thor couldn't help noticing that Loki's attire was identical to what it had been when he'd departed for New York the week prior.

"When was the last time you changed your clothes?"

Loki's expression was still mostly unreadable. It appeared to be fluctuating between indifference and the very mildest degree of amusement.

"Weren't you the one who was complaining about me constantly altering my appearance?" He asked.

"You know very well that's not what I meant."

"Well, I'm turning over a new leaf. I'm aiming for continuity. This is the new, consistent Loki."

"The new, consistent Loki is wearing sweatpants and a t-shirt with kittens on it," Thor pointed out.

The corners of Loki's mouth curved upwards, ever so slightly. It was only a hint of a smile.

"What do you have against kittens, Thor?"

"Nothing. I love kittens. Kittens are adorable. Just not as a fashion statement."

"We should get a kitten," Loki offered, sounding only half serious.

Thor's brow furrowed at the unexpected suggestion.

"What? No."

Loki shrugged his shoulders, lazily.

"I'll have you know that this shirt is very comfortable."

"It hasn't been washed since you bought it."

"I'm breaking it in."

"You're breaking it down...molecularly. It's going to disintegrate on your flesh, until you're completely naked."

"That's doubtful…it's polyester. It's totally synthetic. Theoretically, this shirt could outlast me."

"When was the last time you showered?"

"It's not like I've been exercising or working up a sweat. I mean, there was that minor debacle with the clicker and the sofa cushions…but I managed to sort it."

"That's not an answer."

"It is an answer," Loki mused, "just not the one you wanted."

Up until then, Thor had managed to keep the frustration from his voice, but he was beginning to lose his patience. He wasn't sure what was going on, but he didn't like it. With all that he was now responsible for, he wasn't sure if he could handle the additional stress of whatever antics his brother saw fit to engage in.

"Loki, you smell like a goat and you haven't shaved in several weeks."

"Maybe I'm growing a beard."

Thor pointed to his own chin.

"This is a beard…what I'm growing is a beard. You look like you have a rash on the lower half of your face."

Loki scoffed, finally opting to sit all the way up on the sofa. He slid his feet down off of the stack of pillows and brought them to the floor. He aimed the remote control at the television and shut it off, before tossing it aside.

"You must be having trouble seeing with your one good eye, brother. This is perfectly formidable facial hair."

"If you say so."

Loki made a sweeping gesture with his hand.

"Hey, I'm not causing any trouble, am I?"

"That I'm aware of. I haven't checked your internet search history."

Loki smiled, wryly, glancing over at the laptop computer on the kitchen table.

"Yes…let's pretend that you know how to do that."

"Well, I'm sure I can easily find someone who does."

Loki pointed to the ceiling.

"There's a 6-year-old girl in the apartment above us. She probably knows how."

Thor decided not to address the other man's dig. He was well aware that he wasn't quite as up to date on Midgardian technology as his brother, but certainly that was going to change, especially if they were going to be staying on Earth for any length of time.

"Are you spying on our neighbors now?"

"I'm not sure why that would surprise you."

"It actually doesn't."

"It's not like I have a lot to do here. Upstairs to the right of us is the weird, old couple that goes fishing every day, even if it's below freezing outside. Upstairs to the left of us is a younger gentlemen, who works for the Ministry of Justice. He gets up before sunrise and he never has any guests. Directly above us is the kid...whose mother is totally single, by the way...and she hasn't gone on any dates or had anyone stay overnight since we moved in. I don't think there's a father in the picture either, if you know what I mean..."

"Wait...why are you telling me this?"

"I'm just saying...she's single...you're recently single."

Thor shook his head. The last thing he needed right now was to complicate his life with romantic involvement.

"She has a child."

"Do you think people with children don't have sex? Thor...do we need to talk about where babies come from?"

"Are you trying to set me up?"

"I'm bored."

"I'm not going to have sex with someone's mother just to amuse you."

"You are so selfish."

"And you are completely insane."

"Pretty sure we already established that...also, next door to the right of us are the two women with all the yappy dogs and next door to the left of us is the family with the three teenagers that wear black and mope around all the time."

"Oh, you should hang out with them. You'd fit right in."

"With the yappy dogs?"

"No, with the mopers."

"You said not to talk to anyone," Loki reminded him. "Besides, I'm pretty sure they only speak Norwegian."

"You speak Norwegian."

"I speak Old Norse. In Norwegian I can introduce myself and order lutefisk...and I really don't even like lutefisk. It tastes like wet garbage."

"Loki...you need to take a shower."

"What's the point?"

"The point is that you would be clean and I would no longer have to smell you."

"It's not like I'm going anywhere. You never let me leave. I have nothing to do in here. I have already watched all fourteen seasons of Mythbusters."

"What is Mythbusters?"

"It's...a program about two men who like to blow things up."

Thor thought that sounded like the absolute last thing that Loki should be watching, but he didn't say so.

"Of course it is."

"That's not the point…the point is, that I have nothing else to do and you're basically holding me prisoner here. I might as well be back on Asgard, in a cell."

Thor found it odd that Loki would make such a comparison, but what he found odder was that nothing was actually keeping Loki in the apartment, other than the fact that he'd been told not to leave. No spell had been cast, and no magic was preventing him from walking out the door. For whatever reason Loki had chosen to do exactly what he'd been told. That in itself was a cause for concern.

"It's not the same thing at all, Loki. You're not a prisoner here. This is for your protection. Do you really think it's a good idea for you to go running freely around this realm, considering the fact that they regard you as a war criminal?"

"No...doesn't mean I'm not bored."

"Well, it's snowing outside anyway," Thor remarked. "It started up again, just as I arrived."

"Figures. You couldn't have picked a place with nicer weather?"

"I didn't pick it. Father did."

"Father's dead," Loki pointed out.

"As if I need to be reminded of that," Thor replied, somberly. He wasn't ready to make light of such things. That wound was still too fresh.

Loki seemed to pick up on the other man's demeanor, and his tone softened.

"I'm just saying, you didn't have to come to this exact place. You could have taken us somewhere else...like California. I've heard they have sunshine and beaches."

"There are beaches here as well. Besides, California is a long way from here...and you'd be far too conspicuous. Stephen said that area of Midgard is heavily populated already."

"Probably because of the weather," Loki mused.

"Probably."

Loki leaned forward, elbows resting on his thighs, hands dangling between his knees.

"You know, I never had any trouble leaving it...before."

Thor examined his brother's face. His expression was unchanged, but he could tell by the timbre of Loki's voice that the conversation had just become more serious.

"Leaving what, you mean Asgard?"

Loki appeared to detect that the other man was studying him more closely, because he turned his gaze to the floor.

"Mmm hmm."

"That's because you always knew you could go back, whenever you wanted."

"Knowing it's gone...really gone. It's...surreal."

Thor decided to cut to the chase.

"Are you homesick? Is that it?"

"I never mourned her," Loki confessed, instead of answering the question.

Thor didn't have to ask who Loki meant. He understood now that this was about more than just not being on Asgard. It was about everything. It was about all that had changed and all they had lost. Their mother's death had been sudden and unexpected. Neither of them had been afforded time to process it. Loki had been imprisoned and there was a threat upon them. A lot had happened since then, but that didn't mean either of them had truly dealt with their loss.

"There wasn't time."

"There's time now," Loki reminded him.

"Yeah."

"And now that he's gone too, it's like..."

"It's real," Thor concluded.

"Yeah."

"You're allowed to grieve, you know."

"I'm not grieving," Loki insisted, rather unconvincingly.

"Aren't you, though?" Thor asked.

"I hate him," Loki admitted. Thor felt a stab in his own chest, hearing those words. But he understood that so much had been unresolved between Loki and their father. He understood that Loki had his reasons, and that they were very real to him.

"Because he lied to you?" Thor guessed. He couldn't begin to comprehend the complexity of his brother's bitterness towards their parents, but he knew that it originated with deception.

Loki issued a soft, painful chuckle.

"No...because he forgave me."

That was not the answer Thor had been expecting. He gradually crossed the short distance between them and sat down on the sofa, beside his brother. Whatever the explanation was going to be, he wanted to get comfortable for it.

"What do you mean?"

Loki looked up only briefly, giving Thor a quick peek, before turning his eyes back to the floor.

"I had grown so used to being angry with him. It was what I knew. It was familiar. When I needed his love, he had none to give. Somehow, I found a way to accept that. I accepted that as my reality. I let myself get used to it. So in the end, when I wanted nothing more than to keep feeling that anger..."

"He had nothing but love to give," Thor finished, remembering their father's parting words. In his final moments of life, Odin had only wanted to say goodbye to his sons. He bore no grudges, held no malice in his heart. He had even praised Loki for the cleverness of his duplicity. I love you, he had said to them both, a phrase that he had rarely uttered in all the years that they had known him. It was naked and plain and left very little to interpretation. And before either of them could answer or even acknowledge his words, he was gone, like stardust.

"It's like I don't even get to choose between sad and angry," Loki explained. "It's like he chose for me."

Suddenly, Thor understood.

"And he chose sad."

"I still want to be angry."

"Why would you want that?"

"Because it's easy...because it's what I know. Anger is a fight, and I know how to fight. Sadness is...it's like giving up. It's like surrender."

"Sometimes surrendering is the best option."

"Says the man who never surrenders."

"Oh I've surrendered a few times," Thor lied. He knew what his brother meant, though. It wasn't just about what was easier or what was familiar. Sadness hurts. It hurts a lot more than being angry.

"I don't want to miss them," Loki whispered, harshly.

I don't want to miss them either, Thor thought. He still couldn't see Loki's face, but he could hear the change in his voice, that strangled, nasal sound that meant he was trying very hard not to cry. Thor put a hand on the other man's shoulder.

"But you do," Thor added.

Loki nodded in affirmation, but didn't say anything.

The two men sat quietly for a long time.

[ninajyu]

COVID-19 has exposed where we’re malnourished in preparedness, how much of our communities rely on institutions put in place, and the importance of the things in life that matter most. What emerges is a muddled picture, erring towards grim, and that can make anyone feel confused and helpless.

But there are ways to help. One to highlight:

- Save the Children and No Kid Hungry (#savewithstories) are working together to ensure that the 30 million children who rely on their schools for their meals aren’t left hungry. I remember leaving the grocery store so grateful that I could buy enough and coming to understand that isn’t the case for so many of our youth is scary and incredibly sad. Knowing we can be of service is an honor and elation

What have I been up to? In truth and with thanksgiving, my life has only encountered a few modifications. I was talking about this with a girlfriend yesterday who’s a stay at home mom and we resonated on how both of us are indoors in our pajamas for extended periods of time regularly so this is an extension of our normal. A few notables:

- Attending Sunday service online. Our church has dedicated channels for each of our campuses (California, east coast, Australia, and more) and maintaining Sunday service has offered a wealth of wisdom and a semblance of normalcy

- A friend raved about Art as Therapy and I’ve been savoring it slowly because each segment is full of rich thoughts that I need to ponder. Right now, a lot of non-essentials aren’t shipped as quickly to accommodate for critical items, but I guess this is where a Kindle is actually helpful am I really saying that out loud

- Staying healthy! Washing my hands 20 seconds, thumbs included, disinfecting regularly used surfaces cell phones, too!, hydrating, eating well, and getting out for a walk/run while social distancing with a smile. Looking ahead to Monday, my next step is to set up a regimented schedule instead of running at 10am one day and walking at 1pm the next--not good for me

- Minimal screen time which, until I get back into studying on Monday, has been communication with lovey dovies, checking the day/time, and writing here

- Purchasing enough, and not more. Companies are re-configuring their logistics to accommodate for panicked purchasers who are clearing shelves but in the meantime, we can do our part to make sure there’s enough to go around

- Sharing encouragement- a quick email, text. It isn’t an understatement or trite cliche that we are better together

Stay well.