#steroid source

[ourladyoftheflytrap]

My mom didn't go with me to the vet with dust but today she was like "did she give dust a steroid shot? I was reading online that a different vet gave somebody else's cat a steroid shot. Also im gonna buy dust some supplements to put in his food to help" like why in the world are you trusting the advice of people who have never laid eyes on my cat over the advice of the licensed professional who did??

[snarp]

The guy who was going to replace the carpet has COVID, so I'm probably going to have to take all the animals the vet and board them to bug-bomb flooring that isn't even going to still be here in a month.

[melvinthedepressedrobot]

can life just cut me a fucking break for like five fucking minutes? please?

[3liza]

there is strong evidence to suggest, and I certainly believe, that c-ptsd causes an adaptation to long term, ongoing stress by compensating with chronic cortisol underproduction, leading to an endocrine disorder where you're only getting enough stress hormones to be functional when your house is burning down. this is why a lot of us only feel normal, or good even, when dealing with some sort of emergency.

the problem with looking for this function of the endocrine system in the scientific literature is that PTSD and CPTSD still arent reliably clinically separated even though they have very different symptomology, and people with one-time-incident PTSD don't tend to show the endocrine damage. so studies on "people with PTSD and their cortisol levels" show inconsistent results.

this study from 2018 notes that the cortisol in female subjects and subjects who had PTSD from sexual and domestic assaul--two groups whose PTSD is almost always C-PTSD rather than short term, like natural disaster or combat trauma--was significantly lower than in combat veterans, illustrating my point without apparently knowing or speculating on the reason behind it.

this is an extremely useful adaptation because it restores stress hormone homeostasis (balance) to a person who is trapped in a nightmare situation. the problem is that it also causes you to start feeling "worse" as soon as you are no longer in a crisis. this can cause malfunctions of your "gut check" processes because sometimes, for some people, you feel better when you're actively in danger, a thing thats been observed by researchers and emergency workers who work with domestic violence situations and adult victims of childhood trauma for a century, and makes a lot of the "trust your body" type advice actively counterproductive.

minor effects include reinforcing the ADHD tendency to leave everything until the last minute because you know and have learned you literally cannot do it unless it's an emergency, but it also creates people like my aunt who very observably creates emergencies for herself through various little choices like intentionally ignoring her check engine light because she has been so dysfunctional for so long that she can't operate at all unless she's trying to outrun falling dominoes.

anyway I think low dose corticosteroid treatment will probably be officially discovered as a treatment for C-PTSD within the next five years and be clinically applied at some point after that. one of the discouraging things about this process is that the endocrine system doesn't seem to adapt to relative safety very quickly or at all for many people, including myself. either it's impossible for the affected person to achieve the level of security required to actually readjust and small stressors keep signaling to the body to maintain the incorrect stress responses (common for people who are stuck in poverty by disability or mental illness), or theyre like my aunt and either consciously or unconsciously maintain their own emergencies to stay on an even keel.

cortisol is also necessary for trauma recovery. there have been studies where patients in the ER who were dosed with additional cortisol following traumatic incidents like fires and car wrecks were less likely to develop PTSD in the following months than the control subjects. if you're constantly dealing with emergencies without an emergency-level cortisol dump, yeah sure you'll be very calm and functional during the emergency for everyone, but maybe you're not getting enough cortisol to avoid developing even more PTSD, and certainly not enough to control the related inflammatory processes. this could be contributing to the increased incidence of inflammatory chronic illness in C-PTSD patients.

big fan of characters who have it all under control when theyre put in situations but no idea how to be like a regular guy doing regular stuff when all is said and done.

[ggbagsto]

Common myths about steroids

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[doberbutts]

Hello all, informative trans guy post here. IF you are taking testosterone as part of your HRT or transition process, you've probably heard several times that testosterone is a controlled substance, very difficult to source, and that you are limited on the amount of which you can have at one time. You may even be wondering the truth of these claims.

Well... the answer is... that it's mostly true. But I can tell you how to make things a bit easier on yourself, if you're having a hard time.

This "guide" is 100% USAmerican based. Sorry, but I live here, and don't know how this works outside of my own country.

1: Testosterone is a controlled substance.

Well... it is. Testosterone is a controlled substance in the United States, being a Schedule III drug along with drugs like ketamine. This means that in some states, it can be very difficult to source at all and even harder to source in significant or consistent quantities. This is largely due to people taking anabolic steroids, and very little of testosterone's controlled status historically had anything to do with transgender people using it as part of their medical transition, though that is beginning to change as trans men become more visible. There are now some laws restricting the usage of testosterone for the purpose of transitioning, especially in cases of minors and young adults transitioning through their teens.

This is a little different from estrogen, which is prescription-only in its injectable form but does not have controlled status on a federal level. Testosterone, by comparison, is controlled in all of its forms and possessing it without a prescription is very illegal. While it is possible to source and make testosterone without a prescription, much like estrogen, the legal consequences for doing so are much more severe. For this reason, this is not a guide to doing so without using a prescription.

2: Testosterone is difficult to source.

Provided you have a doctor willing to give you a prescription, and either insurance or financial means of covering the cost of said prescription, testosterone is only difficult to source if you are living in a state that heavily restricts the ability to source Schedule III drugs (or has introduced laws restricting the ability to dispense HRT to transgender patients) or if there is some sort of shortage happening.

Testosterone is available at every national pharmacy chain in various forms, and can also be ordered online by pharmacies that may legally serve your state provided they operate within the state's laws. Remember, cis men take testosterone in various forms for their own hormonal function at times, so this is far from a niche transgender-only drug.

Your state may have restrictions on exactly how much testosterone you may pick up from the pharmacy at any given time, how frequently you're allowed to get it, and occasionally how much you're allowed to have in general. This may also change depending if you are picking your testosterone up from a physical brick-and-mortar pharmacy, or if you are ordering online for home delivery.

Some pharmacies will try to tell you they legally can't dispense more- this may conflict with what your doctor tells you, so if your doctor is willing to give you the maximum your state allows you to have and your pharmacy says a different maximum, you need to get your doctor to advocate for you.

Certain forms of testosterone are more prone to shortages and backorders than others. Gel appears to be commonly backordered, and manufacturer shortages are not uncommon. For this reason, my doctor prescribes me a three month supply at a time. For a long time, CVS would argue with me that they legally could only fill one month at a time. I mentioned this to my doctor, because this inevitably means that with the pharmacists at CVS screwing around with my meds that I am not consistent on my dosing month-to-month because when a shortage happens I simply have to go without until they finally get another shipment in.

Now, thankfully, she wrote me a prescription to navigate around that with the three month supply, but she also had someone from her office call and give them a dressing down on why they needed to actually comply with her orders for her patient. I happen to live in a state that the maximum is truly a three month supply, so CVS should not be arbitrarily shortening a doctor's prescription just because they don't think they should be dispensing that many.

Similarly, testosterone is unfortunately not cheap. I happen to take the gel version, which retails at about $400 USD per bottle, and each bottle lasts one month, so that's about $1600 USD worth of medication sitting on my bathroom sink in that photo with four bottles. Now, thankfully, I have insurance, and the insurance I have allows me to pick up all of my medications for free provided the insurance is actually willing to cover it. This means that I spent a grand total of $0 USD on these bottles. Insurance costs vary greatly, so it's wise to see exactly how much a larger supply will cost you prior to actually committing. My current insurance does not allow me to order medications online, but my previous insurance that I did actually have to pay for medications was often cheaper to order online ($40 for a three month supply) than pick up at the CVS ($20 for a one month supply). This is something to consider depending on your individual coverage.

3: You can only have so much testosterone at once.

As for why I have four bottles- due to my job change, I had an insurance change as well as introduced my state's version of Medicaid as a secondary insurance. My initial insurance did not cover these bottles but did cover individual gel packets dispensed as a sealed box of 30. My current insurance does not cover the individual packets but does cover the bottles. The packets are a slightly different dosage than the pump on the bottle, and when making that switch my doctor accidentally under-dosed me, which then created a significant excess when I went to pick up the next month's bottle. As a result, that initial bottle lasted roughly two months before we caught the under-dosing via my bloodwork, which means I opened the second bottle right as I was getting ready to pick up the third (and fourth and fifth).

This is not an illegal situation as there is a clear paper trail within my medical record and prescription history detailing this situation playing out, but it can be dangerous in certain states to have this much over the amount you're supposed to have. It can be illegal to stockpile a Schedule III drug, so I do not recommend intentionally creating this sort of situation for yourself.

That being said, this sort of worked in my favor. Schedule III drugs often need a prior authorization from your insurance before they are willing to cover these medications. Drugs that are not necessarily expected within your demographic, such as being marked as female but taking testosterone, also often require a prior auth. A prior auth can take up to a month to go through insurance, though usually is less than a week. I just passed my testosterone anniversary in late September, which also means my prior auth expired, as they're only good for one year. Instead of, you know, telling me my prior auth expired, CVS just sent me a text stating they were having a problem with my order and that they were in contact with my doctor about it. A week went by with no change so I called my doctor, who reported they never received anything from CVS but would look into the issue and see what the problem was. They called me back the next day to tell me about my expired prior auth and that they fixed it. I then got the text from CVS saying my prescription was ready to pick up about 5 minutes later. That does mean that if I did not have this excess, I would have once again simply not had testosterone for about a week.

4: Public vs Private Insurance

Whether or not your state's insurance will cover testosterone depends entirely on your state. Obama, when creating the Affordable Care Act or now known as "Obamacare", did make it so that states are supposed to be required to cover HRT for transgender adults and even minors in certain situations. Trump did away with several of these protections, which then emboldened certain states to whittle away at what was left. Other states, like my own, strengthened their protections in response, making it easier to access HRT.

This means that while my own state allows me to get free testosterone through the state's insurance (which is income-based eligibility, and I'm making a significant amount over minimum wage but still considered below my state's poverty line) - a friend of mine in another state cannot access HRT using his state's Medicaid, and is required to use private insurance. Additionally, I have insurance through my job, but it does not cover a large enough percentage for it to be feasible. This means that legally, I have to pay for my workplace insurance (barf, that's $200 out of every paycheck) but on the flip side because of my income eligibility I also can still have the state insurance as my co-insurance and that will clean up whatever leftover costs my private insurance leaves me with.

It also means my top surgery will be free, provided I can get it approved through my private insurance. My public insurance will pay the remaining balance of whatever my private insurance is willing to cover, but will not pay for things my private insurance isn't willing to cover at all.

This also means I have to attend exclusively doctors that will take my public insurance if I want to do things this way- however that's a fairly robust list in my state compared to others, so I didn't have to change doctors at all.

This situation is not always the case for every state's Medicaid- but it is worth looking into if you need options and your current insurance sucks or if you're not insured at all.

[astrolook]

Unhinged Composite Chart Observations: Because Love is Never That Simple 😈💥

When reading a composite chart, the house placements alone aren’t enough as you need to consider the signs and aspects too. The sign of a planet shows how the energy plays out, while the house shows where it manifests in the relationship.

For example, Venus in the 8th house will feel intense, but whether that intensity is passionate and transformative (Venus in Scorpio) or unpredictable and detached (Venus in Aquarius) depends on the sign. Aspects add another layer, shaping whether that energy flows smoothly or brings challenges. So, for the most accurate composite reading, always consider the house, sign, and aspects together. 🔥✨

Let's say you have Pluto in 1st house of Scorpio. It's vastly different from Pluto conjuncting ascendant in Scorpio.

Pluto in the 1st house has an intense presence, but it’s more about the energy you two create together. Others feel the depth, mystery, and power, but it’s not necessarily in-your-face. You two will go through changes because of this relationship, whether you like it or not. But it doesn’t scream, “Look at us, we’re intense!” Control, power dynamics, and trust issues exist, but they may be more private as you feel them inside the relationship rather than broadcasting them to the world.

Pluto Conjunct Ascendant Scorpio is like Pluto in the 1st house but on steroids. The power and intensity are not just felt—it’s seen. When you two walk in, people notice. Whether that’s admiration, hatred, or curiosity depends on the aspects. You see every insecurity, every weakness, and every unspoken thought. This is the “I can read you like a book” placement. Magnetic attraction or repulsion—no in-between. Even if you break up, you will feel each other’s presence like a ghost haunting your life. It’s either obsessive devotion or a lesson in letting go.

Let's say you have a composite stellium in the 10th house which is great for long-term partnerships of any kind.

Composite Stellium in the 10th house Leo: The Power Couple

You two walk into a room, and people notice and there’s a natural glow to your presence together.

You push each other to be bigger, bolder, and more confident, like an unstoppable duo.

If balanced well, this relationship can be a source of mutual pride, joy, and success as its like having a built-in cheerleader and power partner.

Composite Stellium in the 10th house Capricorn: The Empire Builders

Together, you are stability, ambition, and endurance—this is a relationship built to last.

You make practical, smart decisions as a team, and others see you as mature, responsible, and inspiring.

Success feels more meaningful when shared whether it’s career, financial goals, or just building a strong future together.

Composite Stellium in the 10th house Pisces: The Dreamy Duo

There’s a deep emotional and even spiritual bond here—this relationship can feel magical.

You inspire each other’s creativity, intuition, and compassion, making life feel more romantic and meaningful.

When you work toward a shared dream, you two can create something truly unique and impactful.

Composite Stellium in the 2nd House – Earth Signs (Taurus, Virgo, Capricorn) 🌍💰

This relationship is built on stability, security, and practicality . Money, comfort, and long-term goals matter a lot.

You naturally work together to build wealth, establish routines, and create a solid foundation, making this a low-drama, high-function partnership.

Can be a bit too focused on material success, but when balanced, this bond provides loyalty, trust, and a sense of "we’re in this for the long haul."

Composite Stellium in the 2nd House – Scorpio ♏🦂

This relationship is intense, deeply bonded, and all-or-nothing as security isn’t just financial, it’s emotional too.

You both crave power, loyalty, and unshakable trust, but this can also lead to possessiveness or financial entanglements.

Money, sex, and shared resources are deeply tied to your emotional connection—when aligned, this relationship feels transformative and unbreakable.

Moon in 4th House (Cancer, Taurus, Pisces) 🏡💞

This relationship feels like home as you feel cozy, nurturing, and emotionally safe, like you’ve known each other forever.

You naturally prioritize comfort, family, and shared traditions, creating a deep sense of emotional security.

Can get too attached to the past, but when balanced, this bond feels warm, protective, and unshakable.

Moon in 8th House (Scorpio, Capricorn, Aries) 🖤🔥

Feelings here are intense, all-consuming, and almost telepathic and you just know what the other is feeling.

Emotional security comes from trust, vulnerability, and shared transformations, making this a no-holds-barred connection.

Can get emotionally obsessive, but when healthy, this love is soul-deep and nearly impossible to break.

Sun in 1st House (Leo, Aries, Sagittarius) 🌞✨

This relationship has a strong presence and people notice you two together, and your bond feels central to both lives.

There’s an undeniable confidence and energy in this connection, like you bring out each other’s best and boldest selves.

Can be intense or ego-driven at times, but when balanced, this is a vibrant, life-giving partnership.

Sun in 7th House (Libra, Taurus, Pisces) 💍⚖️

This is the ultimate "us against the world" placement. Partnership, balance, and commitment define this relationship.

You see each other as equals and naturally focus on long-term connection, harmony, and teamwork.

Can become overly dependent on each other, but when healthy, this is a deeply fulfilling, true partnership.

Jupiter in 5th House (Leo, Sagittarius, Gemini) 🎭💖

This relationship is full of joy, fun, and creative energy and you bring out each other’s playful side.

There’s a lot of laughter, romance, and possibly children or artistic pursuits tied to your connection.

Can get indulgent or overly dramatic, but at its best, this bond feels like a never-ending adventure.

Jupiter in 11th House (Aquarius, Libra, Sagittarius) 🌍🤝

You two thrive in friendships, social circles, and shared dreams. This is a “best friends” kind of love.

There’s a shared vision for the future, and you both push each other to grow and explore new ideas.

Can be idealistic, but when grounded, this relationship is expansive, inspiring, and filled with possibilities.

Saturn in 7th House (Libra, Capricorn, Virgo) ⚖️💍

This relationship comes with serious lessons about commitment, patience, and responsibility.

It might feel fated or even challenging at times, but if both of you do the work, it’s built to last.

Can feel restrictive, but when respected, this is a mature, unshakable bond that stands the test of time.

Saturn in 10th House (Capricorn, Aries, Scorpio) 🏆📈

This relationship has a strong sense of duty, ambition, and reputation and people see you as a power couple.

Your bond revolves around building something lasting, whether it’s career, status, or a legacy together.

Can feel like there’s too much pressure, but when handled well, this is a respected, long-term partnership.

Some Composite chart aspects:

Venus square Pluto – Intense attraction, but also control issues. One or both people feel possessive, and jealousy can creep in fast. It’s the “I can’t live without you, but I also lowkey want to strangle you” dynamic. If both don’t evolve, it turns into power games.

Moon square Mercury – Feelings vs. words: a never-ending battle. One person says something logical, and the other feels attacked. Miscommunication happens a lot, and if you're not careful, small misunderstandings turn into full-blown emotional shutdowns. This aspect is common if one of them is a non native speaker but fluent in their partner's language or one of them expects the other to read their mind.

Sun opposite Uranus – Relationship unpredictability on steroids. Everything is amazing one day, and the next, someone wants to run away for "freedom." There’s excitement, but also instability—one (or both) people might struggle with commitment.

Pluto conjunct Descendant – This connection changes you. It’s deep, intense, and might feel destined (or inescapable). Power struggles can show up, and once you're in, it's hard to let go. This aspect either transforms the relationship into something profound or pulls you into a psychological tug-of-war.

Mars conjunct Neptune – The chemistry is surreal, but is it real? This can feel like a fever dream—magnetic attraction, insane sexual tension, but also potential confusion, secrecy, or unspoken desires. If one person isn’t upfront about their true intentions, things get messy.

Mercury sextile Uranus – The inside jokes, random deep convos, and slightly weird but hilarious discussions. You’ll never be bored because this relationship thrives on mental stimulation.

Sun conjunct Venus - You two actually like each other. There’s a natural affection, romance feels sweet, and even when life gets hard, you still appreciate each other’s presence.

Moon trine Jupiter – Emotional security + joy. You lift each other up, help each other grow, and always find a way to make the other smile. Feels like home but with extra warmth.

Most long-term marriages I’ve seen in composite charts don’t have planets in the 7th, 4th, 5th, or 8th houses. These couples tend to have little to no drama, and their relationships feel stable rather than intensely emotional. Instead, they usually have a strong 2nd house stellium (shared values, financial security) or a strong 10th house stellium (partnership built on status, goals, and legacy).

On the other hand, planets in the 12th house often indicate hidden relationships, affairs, or a bond that remains private for some reason—it’s not always negative, but it does bring secrecy.

A 6th house stellium can mean long-term commitment, but over time, the relationship can start to feel like a duty rather than passion. Many couples with this placement stay together for kids, stability, or routine rather than deep emotional love.

Here’s the truth about composite charts: A 10th house or 2nd house stellium doesn’t automatically mean a long-term relationship. Stability and longevity depend on whether both people actually want what that composite chart offers. If one person is wired to crave intensity, chaos, or constant excitement (which you’d see in their birth chart), a stable 2nd/10th house dynamic might feel suffocating.

That’s why when reading relationship astrology, we analyze the birth charts first, then synastry, and then the composite. You’ll see celeb couples with these so-called “stable” placements, yet they still divorce after a few years. Why? Because many of them were never into each other romantically as it was just a contract, a business deal. Their birth chart reveals what they’re actually drawn to, which can be totally different from what the composite shows. There's nothing karmic between them just MONEY & EXPOSURE.

🔮 DM me for a synastry and composite chart reading! Check my pinned post for pricing. 💫

[bitterrfruit]

people using ai to generate fics is terrifying because large language models are getting better and better at approximating real writing, for the very reason that they steal more and more work from real writers every second.

ai generated writing has become sophisticated enough that often you truly have to rely on a gut feeling that what you’re reading isn’t written by a human. as @bi-writes says in her post, it’s the same as ai images that just have a certain look to them. sometimes there are specific “tells” you can pick out as evidence, but sometimes there aren’t.

ultimately what ai writing lacks is a true understanding of what is being written.

crucially, large language models aren’t actually intelligent. the way they work is simply predictive text on steroids. they generate words based on the words that come before - when they start a passage of text, they don’t “know” where it will go. this is why sources like chatGPT consistently give incorrect information, it doesn’t know what it is telling you, it is only regurgitating words in a human-like order based on the swathes of information it has stolen from other sources.

one thing ai writing will always lack is a true thought-out plot. it will constantly repeat itself. it will have plenty of adjectives and similes and “creative” synonyms, it'll be rife with cringey wattpad tropes as bi mentioned, because it is entirely unoriginal.

what frightens me is a future where the difference becomes indistinguishable to laypeople or casual readers, especially those who aren’t writers themselves. making accusations is near impossible without evidence and we don’t want a world where real art is dismissed simply out of ai paranoia, but the thought of a future in which real authors are sidelined in the industry because readers are sated by robot-written slop is genuine nightmare fuel.

all this to say, i guess, is human writing can never be genuinely replaced if readers and writers are aware that ai generated work is hollow, meaningless, unoriginal garbage whose very production is harming our planet. or, rather, that readers continue to care that the art they consume is produced by a human being.

i honestly don’t know how anyone can stomach to read or enjoy work produced by ai knowing that there is no human feeling behind its creation. all i can do is hope the majority feel the same.

[tryingahandinholdingapen]

in my experience there's essentially two types of omegaverse fics

the first type is, as you said, gender roles on steroids but that's kind of a side effect/smaller aspect of the main thing which is either "let's write something very dead dove and/or straight up dystopian" or "let's write some serious smut (usually heavy on the breeding kink)"

the second type is "let's do the most insane worldbuilding ever and also, instead of doing gender roles on steroids, let's deconstruct gender or at least make this very queer" because like omegaverse automatically assumes at least six sexes (alpha male+female, beta male+female, omega male+female). And between that and the fact that who can reproduce is different, and the idea that people probably need to take off work for heat/ruts, you can potentially do a lot of interesting stuff with "okay, how would they deal with that? what does the average situation for raising kids look like? do they have many more normalised types of romantic/sexual orientation, if you include 'secondary genders' (the omega/beta/alpha stuff) as well as 'primary' gender? how might society see different orientations?

also, actually, no I lied there's not just two types there's also a third type which is "this person just wants to write fluff with added unrealistic scent stuff". this refers to both nonsexual versions of omegaverse universes, and to fics which are very clearly just "my OTP is m/m or f/f but I want them to have biological child(ren) and write fluff about it"

Amazing how the most woke side of the internet created omega-verse stuff, but it’s like gender roles on steroids????

[thebibliosphere]

I think it says a lot that before I do a thing for pain I search the internet for medical journals, get pissed and send a strongly worded email to the people who wrote something claiming things and citing articles that either have a 2 person sample size or no sources for *their* claim, and then search "the house that cthulu built" on tumblr because I couldn't remember your url, and then searched *your* blog for "steroids" 😂😂😂

Oh dear. It's bad when you try" Reddit" in your Google search to try and get an answer from real people, but it's even worse when you resort to my Tumblr.

I hope you found what you were looking for, and it helped.

[candyswirls]

The Unbound Flame Pt 3

The Salamanders cannot stand the thought of their Primarch missing anymore of Pyres life and strive to get him back.

Previous - Next - Master Post

The figure that emerged was extremely thin and frail. Despite that, they were larger and taller than any astartes. The chaptermaster and forgefather moved forward to help the emaciated man emerge from the engine of woes.

Tears streamed down Tu'Shan's face.

"Welcome back, my Primarch."

***

The apothecaries helped situate their Primarch in his bedroom. Attaching wires and tubes. They administered steroids, supplements, and were getting a feeding tube ready.

He'Stan held a frail arm as he sat near the large bed. Their Primarch spoke weakly.

"I am so proud," he rasped. "You found them all and the last few in such a short time period. Such noble sons I have."

"Thank you, Father," Ajax beamed.

The Primarch inquired, "Where is the Eternal Flame? Did you see the instructions to keep it over a heat source?"

He'Stan and Ajax looked at each other.

Ajax answered, "There were no such instruction, my Primarch."

Vulkan froze, and a look of horror spread across his face, "Where is it?"

Tu'Shan immediately jumped in, "Little Pyre is happy and healthy. He is in his nursery."

The primarch gasped and tried forcing himself to sit up, "Bring him here. Please, I wish to see him."

Tu'Shan made haste to the nursery. Practically running.

A serf had just exited the room and nodded to Tu'Shan.

"He has been fed and burped," she informed him. "He has just been laid down for a nap."

"Is he still awake?" Tu'Shan inquired.

"Not even fallen asleep yet," she said.

"Good."

The serf dared to ask, "My Lord is he -"

"He is fine," Tu'Shan assured her. "All is well today, and many happy days shall follow."

She smiled gratefully at him.

Tu'Shan entered the room. Pyre was in his crib. He had a foot pulled up to his face and was gnawing on it. He made cooing noises.

Tu'Shan gently stepped forward then said cheerfully, "What are you doing??"

"Uuuwaaaaaaahh!!!" Pyre exclaimed as he let go of his foot and began kicking and squirming with excitement.

The chaptermaster leaned over the railing, and a wide smile appeared on Pyre's face.

"Why, hello!" He said to the babe. "Well, aren't you happy! Did you enjoy your bottle? Are you so excited to see me?"

Pyre babbled up at him, unable to contain his joy and unsure of how to handle it.

The Salamander reached down and lifted the babe into his hold.

"I know you love your sleep, but it is time for you to meet someone very important," he grinned.

Pyre attacked his cheek with his mouth, gumming at it.

Tu'Shan laughed and grabbed a scale hide blanket to keep the infant warm.

Pyre cooed as Tu'Shan hurried out with him, taking in the passing surroundings with light red eyes.

Serfs and astartes alike lit up upon seeing him carrying the babe. Even more so when they realized where he was headed.

He slowed down just outside the bedroom chambers and peered in.

Their father was in a sitting up position, leaned back against pillows.

Pyre made a sound, and Vulkan lit up, reaching out to the babe.

Tu'Shan came to the side of the bed and gently laid Pyre in the outstretched arms. He was a bit worried about how weak their primarch was.

Pyre stopped babbling as he realized the arms he was in were different. Larger than others of the legion yet very thin.

He looked up at Vulkan, taking in his thin face.

Vulkan smiled and spoke in a soft and loving voice, "Hello, there, my little dragon. It is good to see you."

Pyre's eyes widened upon hearing the voice.

"Do you remember me?" Vulkan asked gently. "It was near ten milennia ago that I placed you in there for safe keeping. Over ten milennium that I forged you. I don't look the same. Do you recognize me?"

Pyre let out happy babbles as he began wriggling with glee, trying to move his arms up towards his father.

Vulkan chuckled as tears began to flow down his cheeks, "So you do remember."

He pressed a kiss to Pyre's cheeks. Pyre responded with gumming his father and sucking at his cheek.

Vulkan laughed and pulled Pyre up to his shoulder.

"I was told you just ate," he said. "Are you still hungry?"

The babe just began gnawing and drooling on his father's shoulder. The primarch pressed a kiss to Pyre.

"All my sons," the primarch sighed. "All together."

He closed his eyes and relaxed. Pyre's own breathing grew rhythmic, in his father's arms. The apothecaries gently moved them to be lying down. Tu'Shan set a few to stand guard. The light was turned out, and they left their primarch and little Pyre to rest.

[soclearlytosee]

a primary early s5 threat is likely a s1-style lone Demogorgon hunting kids...

...and that Demogorgon is probably being directed by Vecna.

at this point others have definitely also come to this conclusion, but I just wanted to lay this out somewhere more clearly/concisely.

first, the evidence from leaks/BTS/footage:

an early s5 filming rumor was that Frank Darabont directed a Home Alone-style sequence with a Demogorgon, which came from the same source as a bunch of other things that have been proven true. plus we clearly have a big sequence in a mansion in a Darabont-directed episode (5.03, The Turnbow Trap) reminiscent of the iconic house in that movie.

the lights are flickering in quite a few scenes that we've seen footage of from eps 1-4, and specifically the ones the feature the child characters (Holly's room and the upstairs bathroom at the Wheeler House in ep 1, at the Turnbow mansion in ep 3, and now at the farm in ep 4)

the strangerwriters twitter account saying "Season 5 is like if season 1 and 4 had a baby. And then that baby was injected with steroids."

the rhythmic banging from the date announcement voice memo/teaser feels like a fairly straightforward callback to the s1 Demogorgon's recurring ominous offscreen footsteps (that then escalates, s1 on steroids etc).

There's obviously something going on with Holly and her classmates, and a not quite yet parseable feedback loop between Vecna and the military's interest in them (considering the pap photos of Henry, Holly, and the other kids in the Creel House Mindscape, and the kids at the military base which we've now seen in the teaser footage)

but more importantly, what would that do for us, character- and plot-wise?

Bring up big feelings for our characters who experienced Will and Barb's disappearances in s1

especially since, according to the season logline, a certain anniversary is coming up...

Tee up a reveal about what it looks like when Vecna is directing a Demogorgon remotely

according to the season logline, Vecna is currently laying low: "[Vecna] has vanished — his whereabouts and plans unknown." similarly, it's pretty clear he's been part of the picture this whole time but if that's the case he had to have been acting from a significant remove in s1 too.

while we are also revisiting Will's time in the Upside Down in 1983 in flashback form, showing us a version of Vecna's s1 strategy in the present would be an additional opportunity to surface some answers after years of the "Was Will taken intentionally or just a bystander? Did Will see Vecna or the Demogorgon on Mirkwood?" discourse.

Serve as a device to travel into the Upside Down

if they bring back the s1 Demogorgon's ability to create smaller, temporary gates, our cast should be more prepared to take advantage of that opportunity to travel to/from the Upside Down this time around. (though the time limit on the lil Demogorgon gates makes that risky...and might lead to something like perhaps a certain character whose early season activities are still a big question mark being stuck in the same clothes for three-quarters of the season)

please don't ask me to square that with Vecna's s3/s4 needing to steal El's powers in order to open his own gates via elaborate teen murder ritual I'm not a writer on this show. let's say it's probably a question of magnitude/temporality for now

so yes, I have come around to feeling like this is probably one of the big drivers of the early s5 plot (after really walking the long way around to get here even though in retrospect like anything it seems like the most obvious choice for them to make, and I think a smart one). other supernatural forces should also be at work - I'm at least feeling some mysterious medical stuff going around, and maybe disappearances via an additional mechanic. plus the Demogorgon situation would start more at a 1.03/1.04 level and escalate quickly, building to a new monster/s reveal around the end of 5.04 with whatever is knocking at the downtown military base's door in the teaser.

and still more to suss out on Vecna's motivations here, what's going on with his Creel House Mindscape set up with the kids (maybe playing both sides by siccing a scary monster on them and then getting to swoop in as a benevolent helper?), how the military's interest in the kids factors in, and then Max's role in all this.

[thevoidstaredback]

The best thing that came out of his meeting with Batman and Nightwing in Gotham several days ago was that they had said something to the other heroes. Danny was no longer being hounded by hypocritical helicopter parents with guilt complexes bigger than Bruce Wayne’s company.

Also, that was probably the only good thing to happen in Gotham in a while, no offense to The Lady.

The investigation was…going. It was much easier now that he didn’t have to worry about everyone and their dog trying to check in on him or ask invasive questions, but no progress had been made in way of getting some actual answers for the case.

As he’d said he would, Phantom had gone to the Realms to ask if She knew anything. She did, he was sure of it, but She wasn’t telling him. In fact, he’d wandered for nearly an entire day (Home World Time) without finding anyone who could give him answers. When he left, he swore he could hear Her giggling at him.

Constantine had basically kidnapped Nightwing and had started a World Tour to talk with the Protections Spirits that resided in Graveyards and Hospitals in the places where each victim called home. Sometimes, they even came across a City Spirit to question. None of them had any answers, either, other than “human? made” and “magic?”. It was very frustrating for everyone involved.

Nightwing, on the other hand, was very excited about the new field he was getting to explore. Batman has banned magic from Gotham, for very good reason, but that means that no one in Gotham really knows how to interact with the stuff. Sure, he’d dealt with it before, but that was only very short interactions before Z or Raven took over.

He didn’t know why Phantom had told Constantine to take him with to talk to Spirits, but he wasn’t really complaining. When he’d asked the magic user, the only answer he got was “He likes ya. Don’t know why, but you’re his favorite bat.”

Nightwing was flattered. He was not above lording this over his family. Tim, especially, had been very upset to learn this.

In order for Nightwing to actually be able to interact with any of the Spirits, Constantine had given him an Opol Coin. The coin was apparently a gift from the House of Mysteries to Nightwing. It allowed him the ability to speak to and understand anyone or thing that was considered dead without the help of an outside source as long as he carried it on his person. Including, but not limited to formerly living beings, plants, animals, and objects.

It gets very loud, all those whispers.

Naturally, he’s going to have someone put it on a chain and never willingly let it leave his person.

“What’re we doing back in Gotham?” Dick asked. Not that he was complaining, just curious.

Constantine took another drag from his cigarette before answering, the smoke blending in seamlessly with the song covering the city. “Bludhaven’s City Spirit won’t be helpful to us.”

Dick blinked. “There’s a City Spirit in Bludhaven?”

“Yeah, but he won’t be of any help.” He stubbed the butt of his cigarette out on the ashtray on the table. “Even if they could help us, he likes to spend most of their time in Gotham.”

There were..several things to unpack there. “He/they? Bludhaven uses he/they? We’ve been calling Bludhaven a sister city since it was founded!” He really hoped Bludhaven wasn’t offended by being misgendered like that for forever.

Constantine lit another cigarette. “You really think Spirits of any kind subscribe to a binary?” He shook his head. “What is Batsy teaching you?”

That didn’t answer whether or not his city - or as he his city’s? - was offended at being called a sister, but he was going to take the non-answer as a ‘no’. Moving on. “Gotham..I haven’t met her, but when Phantom was here a while ago, he said that she protects her own.”

“She’s a City Spirit, of course she protects her people. City Spirits are Protection Spirits on steroids.”

“But they way he phrased it… and he kept looking behind me and B, but there wasn’t anyone there.”

“Because you couldn’t see her.”

“I know that, but-”

He sighed. “Have you ever felt eyes on you when no one’s around? Noticed a knife or a bullet too late to dodge, only for it to miss you despite it being on a perfect aim?”

“Yeah..?”

“That would be your City Spirit. Lady Gotham doesn’t like when bad things happen to her favorite people. Bludhaven may seem like a kid, but he fought Gotham herself to have you under their protection.”

“How do you know all this?”

“I don’t stick my nose into your business, so don’t stick your nose into mine. Now be respectful and focus; she’s here.”

“Who’s..?” Dick paused, his eyes finding trying to pick out the new person in the cafe. No one had come in since they’d arrived an hour ago, but there was someone new walking to their table. She was beautiful in a tragic way, like a black hole. Her dress was black, stained crimson in places, fraying and torn all over. Her skin was as pale as a skeleton, her bones nearly visible through. Her hair was greasy and clumped together, the colour of platinum under the dirt and debris. And her eyes, enhanced by only the barest hint of smeared make up, were bluer than ice. She was beautiful like Aphrodiotie, but tragic like Icarus.

He’d never seen her before, but Dick knew exactly who this was.

“Lady Gotham,” Constantine stood and bowed his head to her, “An honor to meet you.”

She held a hand to the Brit, her claw-like nails perfect and painted black. “Likewise, Hellblazer. You are spoken highly of.”

“Oh?” He seemed genuinely surprised as he sat down after Lady Gotham, “A pleasant surprise.”

She hummed softly. There was a bit of grit to her voice, and echo as well. “Only those who matter speak of you. You are held in high regard in the Realms, taking care of Her King has made Her and Her people thankful to you.”

Dick could practically hear the capitalizations of her words.

Constantine looked ever so slightly bashful. “That’s, um, a lot.”

Lady Gotham smiled at him, her blood stained lips expressing humor. “Continue as you are and you will do fine.”

“Thank you.”

She turned her full attention to Dick and he found himself even more enamored with her, little details he’d missed before popping out. There’s green in her eyes, her eyeshadow’s lavenders, and she’s missing her left earring. “Richard Grayson, my child, it’s good to finally meet you.”

He suddenly found himself scrambling for words. “You-you, too, ma’am. I had no idea you were, well…” Good going, Grayson, you made a fool of yourself!

The Lady’s laughter cut through his thoughts, harsh like The Joker’s, but well meaning like Uncle Clarks. “It’s alright, dear, no need to be so stiff.” She addressed them both now, “I assume you have questions for me?”

Constantine cleared his throat. “Yes, ma’am. Thank you for meeting with us, m’lady. There’ve been attacks on a global scale, the victims falling into comas. We’ve been unable to find any relation between victims, nor has there been any agreement on whether this has been caused by magic or not. The other Spirits we’ve talked to have been unable to provide any insight on the situation.”

“And you believe I may be of more assistance?”

“You are highly regarded yourself, ma’am. We’d be fools to not at least ask you.”

Lady Gotham considered the two for a moment from across the table. “You will find that unresolved pasts will always come back to haunt you. Old enemies to reappear, old loves to return, old families pulled together again. My advice to you is to start at your beginning. Fate is a circle and humans rarely learn from their mistakes.” In a blink she was gone again.

Part 15 Part 17

[ledesaid]

Seeking a Father for Saturday ►○◙◄ #1

Do you know the solution to enjoy the snack table on Bring Your Child to Work Day?

Billy had an idea, you might be thinking of the same answer, and no, it doesn't include cloning himself...

Just asking for a small, tiny, and harmless favor.

What could go wrong?

There is a gift bag at stake, and Billy knows from a good source, Nightwing, that Batman has included two limited edition toys and a generous supply of various candies for several weeks for each child who confirms their attendance.

"So... if I didn't hear wrong... you want me to bring you in your mortal form on Saturday?"

"Yes?"

There are very few people Billy would ask this of. Really very few. If he really didn't want Batman to find out, this was the way... or so Billy believed.

"Your bravery flatters me, kid, but that statement is going to get you in a lot of trouble. I've already pawned my firstborn."

"So... is that a no?"

"Sorry, Cap, but hey, there are many good guys in the league, try another. I've heard from a good source that Batman has a horde of kids at home. Jefferson calls them Batman Incorporated."

Well, getting Constantine's help would have been easy, but he didn't want to impose... but he had no more viable ideas. It would be very strange for Victor to say he's his dad, and Zatanna would scold him for lying like that...

It's not a lie, it's not a lie if the truth is slightly altered to be clarified at the end... preferably before the day ends. A simple "Hey, it was just a godchild, nephew..."

But now he was doubting... His secret was important... who in the league?... Who in the league could he ask for help?

As Mr. Constantine said, Billy was brave... he needed an adult who was also brave... Someone who could lie... obscure the truth and have fun in the meantime... Brave...

Brave... Brave like...

A lantern.

And coincidentally, he had three today. Hal, Jon, and Guy.

Billy knew Jon wouldn't be very open to helping if he found out he was a child; Hal prided himself on being single and not having kids; Guy was someone who couldn't be forced to tell the truth... He was a cool guy!

And you know what would be even cooler?

For him to be his ticket to the gift table!

Finding him alone in the cafeteria was lucky and even more so that there wasn't a Kryptonian in the watchtower to spy on their conversation.

"Hey, Guy, got a minute?"

"You're in luck, big red cheese, my burger is taking its time, shoot..."

"Well.... you've heard the fuss for Saturday... for the day to bring..."

"... your gremlins to work, Nightwing is spamming everywhere."

"I have a small... Yes!, a small... um..."

He didn't think much about it certainly, this was very spontaneous. How could he tell Guy, 'Hi, I'm a kid who wants you to be my dad for Saturday and hey keep it secret or Batman will eject me from the watchtower for not meeting the minimum age'?

There's no way. Not in Billy's mind at this moment. And wasn’t he supposed to be the brave Captain Marvel?!

"Look, Guy, I'm actually a ten-year-old kid who wants a gift bag and the whole show on Saturday, but I can't tell Batman or he'll kick me out..."

It's an understatement to describe how Guy’s expression bewildered. Billy supposed it didn't go so badly upon seeing Guy laughing heartily while slapping the cafeteria table.

"Damn, Cap! That's the funniest thing I've heard in the last decade!"

But Billy didn't blink. He also didn't doubt. It took a bit, but Guy seemed to understand that Billy was serious.

"Hell, you must be joking... You're joking, right, Marvel?"

"Not at all."

Guy looked at Billy from head to toe... Trying to find some logic...

"Are you an underdeveloped kid or something? Or is it some magic thing that gives you these steroids?"

"A magic thing."

Guy grabbed his burger to savor it.

"Well... I've seen weirder things out there."

"So... is that a yes?"

Guy mumbled unintelligible things while chewing, but to Billy's surprise who was about to run away...

"If you cover one of my shifts, we have a deal, Cheeky Red Cheese."

---------------

Part 2

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