#subterfuge headcanon

[turtleblogatlast]

I think a lot about Leo standing up for his brothers in the things that really matter to them.

Like- Leo is the one who immediately pushes Mikey and Donnie into finding Raph the second it’s clear that their oldest brother is missing because he knows Raph can’t handle being separated like that.

Leo is the one who stands up for Mikey when Mikey wants to go on a solo mission, actively vouching for him and being the one to convince Raph into letting Mikey go, because being independent and proving himself just as capable of standing on his own two feet as everyone else means so much to Mikey.

And Leo defends Donnie’s honor in particular when his brothers’ intelligence is insulted because Leo is well aware of how important Donnie’s smarts are to him - and how important having those smarts valued and acknowledged is as well.

All this goes right into just how well Leo knows his brothers. For as much as he’ll tease or fight with them, he knows them, and he loves them.

[archivestarlyht]

'why pretend to worship mask at all?'

surfacers are more accepting of surface gods, even a secretively worshiped god of thieves like mask. in the underdark he was not open about his faith in vhaeraun at all. he's also definitely using 'i am devoted to a surface god' as a strategy to manipulate and make himself come off as trustworthy. it's for protection. finding out he worships a drow thief god usually won't inspire trust. it also fits with his story that he came to the surface because he wanted better. surfacers eat that up, and also eat up stories of finding faith on the surface, especially when they were raised to worship lolth.

surfacers also tend to be more receptive to hearing or learning about other surface gods. mask and vhaeraun have a similar enough portfolio that it's often exploited by worshipers of the latter in recruiting followers or softening followers to their cause.

it's intentionally kind of audacious. maybe it'll irritate mask that he's masquerading as a follower, but going along with it anyway signals to his god that he believes he'll be protected, since part of the rationale is his god's benefit.

[ckret2]

Rewatching take back the falls, and one little detail made me want to turn to gf's resident watsonian analyst: if bill already told ford his story of how "a monster" (Implying somebody else did it) destroyed his dimension, then why is he studdenly admitting it was actually him who actually 'liberated' it, thus erasing any possible sob story he could cash in to convince ford to give him the equation?

answer one: it's possible Bill already found out somehow that Ford learned who actually destroyed his dimension from the Oracle

answer two: what would the sob story be? "Remember how a monster destroyed my dimension? Yeah, that was sad, right? It's got nothing to do with the situation but could you give me the equation anyway?" At MOST he might could try "I need to invade because I'm homeless :,( please let me out of the barrier" but then (Bill probably expects) Ford would go "what's in it for me/my dimension?" Well, """liberation,""" but Bill has to convince Ford he HAS liberated a dimension successfully

answer three: we know he's told at least some of the Henchmaniacs he liberated his dimension. We know he puts them through grueling hazing when they join the gang and that he claims the immediate pre-portal era torment was just him hazing Ford in preparation for inviting him into the gang. It's possible the "I liberated them" story is part of his standard Henchmaniac-recruitment spiel, and presenting himself like a hero + getting them on board with seeing him that way is, for him, a key part of ensuring his newest minion will view him the way he wants to be viewed. (This has been my headcanon for ages; pleased some evidence in TBOB/TINAWDC can be used to back it up.) Conversely, the moment where he says a monster destroyed his dimension was a brief moment of sincere vulnerability, even buried as it was under subterfuge even then—but that's NOT the image he wants Ford to hold of Bill & his universe, so he has to "correct" it even if it means he's less pitiable. If he's KEEPING Ford, Bill wants his respect & admiration, not his pity.

answer four: Alex has said in an interview that they considered having Bill give a much more convincing (dishonest) speech about how him conquering the world was actually a good thing, and the reason we instead got Bill going "I'll make a more fun world!!" *depicts himself eating earth* is because he's getting impatient & rushing and not up to his peak manipulative abilities. I apply that to everything Bill's doing from the moment he discovers the barrier onward: he's not having fun, he's frustrated, he's getting sloppier and sloppier in his efforts to get the equation, he quickly drops from charming manipulative host offering a deal with the devil, to just plain old torturing Ford (and Bill's been manipulating humans long enough to know torture is one of the worst ways to get them to do what you want), to flat out "give me the equation or I'll kill your family I swear to god I am SO tired I just want that goddamn equation why is this so hard." Just blithely retconning the story he told Ford thirty years ago and thinking YEAH FORD WILL JUST ROLL WITH THAT seems like part of his competence/patience downward spiral.

[rosemarydisaster]

What I headcanon as each Bats identifying skills (obviously they share a lot of them by virtue of being in the Bat niche). Some of this may be canon, some are more my own preference but here we go:

Dick Grayson: his acrobatic fighting style, resistance to electric damage, leadership (on the ground) and lots of field experience. Also, I think he's second best for a lot of the other's skills (like reading people or detective work), which makes him kind of scary.

Barbara Gordon: Hacking, surveillance, cyber security, digital forensics, organization/multitasking and leadership (from afar). Leading from afar is a completely different skill, thank you very much. Also, it's way harder. Like, she has to coordinate all of these idiots most nights.

Cassandra Cain: the best martial artist in the family, stealth, her ability to read people and dedication to the mission. Maybe she doesn't have that many skills in quantity but she's so above the others it's crazy. Like somehow she's still at the top (power-scaling wise) despite struggling to read.

Jason Todd: Intimidation, marksmanship, street-smarts and first hand crime knowledge. He should be like the people's princess of Crime Alley. Jason, Duke and Steph are the ones that have lived Gotham the most, and it should be noticeable when compared to the others. I also think he should talk to ghosts/have some magic. Just a smidge.

Stephanie Brown: disguises and acting, espionage, Intel gathering and tracking. She's one of the best hackers on the team and she also knows how to gather information on the ground. Like I said in Jason's description: she's Gotham. She knows how things work and how to find what she needs. Like Tim and Barbara may blackmail people more often, but Steph has better blackmail.

Timothy Drake: stalking, manipulation/lying, detective work, subterfuge and stealth. To be clear, I'm giving him stealth too because while Cass is better at staying undetected, Tim knows best when to stay undetected. For the rest, very obvious from canon.

Duke Thomas: meta abilities, high speed strategizing, ghost vision, precognition and he's a fast learner. I love the idea of Duke just, stopping in the middle of a fight to explain his new strategy like he's Kuzko. "Okay, that didn't work, so this is what we're doing now"

Damian Wayne: LET MY BOY HAVE MAGIC, master tactician, great with animals, surgical knowledge, ability to mimic voices and escape artists. To me Damian should behave like the only human in the muppets movie while having Looney tunes logic applied to him. He'll be having this combo with his kidnapper and the goons suddenly realize he's not wearing handcuffs. Also, let him have magic, please.

[ihatetaxes99]

Alrighty, fun theory time: What if Neito Monoma was actually brain-damaged?

I swear, this isn't a joke post, this is a genuine headcanon/theory I like to consider that possibly explains the... Sharp shift in his behaviour. Of course, it obviously isn't actually canon, I don't think anyone would believe that for a second, but it's an idea I like to ruminate upon. That said, time to elaborate:

It's no secret that when the character of Neito Monoma was introduced during the Sports Festival story arc of the Boku No Hero manga, he was rather different from his later portrayals.

Unless I'm forgetting something, this was the first proper panel introducing Monoma in the series:

As you can see, there were some... Changes later on down the line:

Anyone can tell that something happened here. Anyone who has a basic knowledge of the manga is aware that this second image is not an outlier. Monoma has been consistently portrayed as arrogant, over-the-top and borderline mentally unwell. There's clearly something wrong with this boy, this isn't just a kid being energetic.

Monoma in his initial appearance was clearly a bit underhanded, yes. He was a schemer, a trickster, almost like the heroes' version of Mr. Compress (I had to fit a reference to my G in there somehow) in how he relies on subterfuge and deception over raw strength; None of this translates to the psychopathic brat he became as early as the Training Camp arc. The question is, what happened to cause this? I mean, yeah, there are a few pretty good guesses as to why his personality was retconned out-of-universe (I've always taken an interest in the theory that his insanity was turned up to make Kendo's behaviour towards him seem more justified, somehow, and have her come off as less unlikeable, though there is also the popular theory that Bakugo's popularity had a hand in things as well, which I won't get into here), but that's boring. I am an Autist, and what I want is an in-universe explanation to use as my personal headcanon.

And so, we come to this delightful little panel:

Acquired Brain Injury (ABI) refers to a form of brain injury brought about by physical trauma or other damage caused sometime after birth, as opposed to genetic brain damage. As listed by the Scottish Acquired Brain Injury Network, symptoms of ABI can include:

Reduced motivation.

Reduced ability to initiate activity.

Reduced motivation.

Reduced empathy.

Emotional Lability

Reduced impulse control (i.e. reduced ability to control expression of emotions and behaviour).

Agitation.

Aggressive behaviour.

Impaired judgement.

Socially inappropriate behaviour.

Sexually disinhibited behaviour.

Reduced insight/awareness of the consequences of brain injury and its impact.

Obviously, not all of these symptoms are relevant to Monoma's case, but some - such as emotional lability, reduced impulse control, agitation, aggressive behaviour, impaired judgement and socially inappropriate behaviour - sound very familiar.

In short, it's proven that physical trauma to the head can very much influence and alter a person's personality, resulting in instability. And as we can see from the image, Bakugo very nearly blew Monoma's head off during the climax of the chariot battle. The way that his head snaps back is clearly indicative of receiving some sort of sharp blow.

And that is where the basis of my theory is formed. Neito Monoma starts out his UA career as a somewhat ambitious and devious, but intelligent and well put-together kid. Then, during the Sports Festival, he receives a severe blow to the head from Bakugo. Given the nature of UA's training regiment, it's even possible that he would sustain more injuries off-panel between the end of the Festival and his next appearance at the Training Camp, possibly even developing the situation into Chronic Traumatic Encephalopathy. And that's not even considering all of the times Kendo has been seen striking him hard enough to knock him out cold. We're also well aware of how lax UA is in regards to their medical care, with a kiss from Recovery Girl and a few days' rest typically being seen as the best way to deal with incidents. In this environment, Monoma's head trauma would go on to manifest itself in more and more personality defects, transforming him over time as his intellectual capabilities were diminished and his aggressive and socially unaware behaviour grew more and more pronounced. It puts a tragic spin on what is essentially a mishandled joke character, holding the lens to UA's negligent behaviour that the manga barely touched in any real depth.

Of course, as I said, obviously none of this is the case. Monoma was rewritten to be a joke after the Sports Festival and that is the long and short of it. There isn't really anything deeper going on there, not intentionally at least. But I like to dream. And I've really grown rather fond of this little headcanon.

[gallusrostromegalus]

Funky Muguruma Kensei AEIWAM headcanons? Spare serotonins with the blorbos? /j Also what's AEIWAM Mashiro like? She's one of the only characters I genuinely get annoyed by in the canon oof

:)

So the friendship between Kaname and Mashiro is one of my favorite things in the fic so far. Have a spoilerific Scene (Part 1 of ?)

Crickets and Grasshoppers

Scene One of ??? Approximately 7K words Fluff that goes South and won't get (sort of ) better until part 2, warnings for body horror, referenced torture and Emotionally Devastating Betrayal

:)

It was Tuesday November 5th, 1901, Scheduling Day in the Ninth Division and Mashiro was standing in front of the vending machine just down the street from the Ninth, choosing her armaments for the coming battle. 

In other divisions, the actual drawing up of rosters was the job of lower-seated officers and the specific parts of the Division they were responsible for.  Tousen’s friend Komamura has told her once that the 7th Division’s schedule was so predictable, they only looked at the roster once a year when people retired or were hired. A fascinating concept to Mashiro, who listened to Komamura’s tales of the 7th with the rapt fascination of an anthropologist privileged to hear the folklore of distant and largely unknown people. 

The Ninth was… complicated for the sake of simplicity.  Information did not move the same way people did, and while the seventh could pass an inbound soul from the Intake Team to Queue Management to the Registry Office, passing an information project from one subdivision to another was a great way to lose said project. So instead of projects moving from subdivision to subdivision as they reached different stages, subdivisions went from stage to stage, following projects. 

This meant scheduling had to be done every month, but it beat the hell out of a major archive loss or communications failure. 

And it meant that Snackage was in order. 

Mashiro surreptitiously glanced over her shoulder to make sure Captain Muguruma was still overseeing drills in the courtyard, then selected 37 cookies, chips, snack cakes, bottles of pop and juice and other goodies from the machine and paid out of the Division Purse.  

Kensei, bless him, was a deeply honorable man who was so reliable you could set a watch by him and would probably cross actual Hell to help a friend, but he did not understand scheduling, much less the kind of caloric requirements it held. 

-- “You’re just sitting there!  What do you need all that for?” He’d asked her once.

“The brain’s the most expensive organ to run in terms of calories.” She’d explained, rolling her eyes and opening a bag of Barbecue-flavored corn chips. “-I know your brain is a plodding cart horse, but you can’t do scheduling.  You need my thoroughbred racehorse brain, and it needs snacks!”

He’d given up with a disgusted groan of defeat, which was good, because the other reason she needed the snacks would have actually made him snap.  -- Mashiro shoved the snacks into her backpack, checked that Kensei was still distracted by drills, darted back across the street where he might spot her, ran around the back of the division, and jumped up to the third-floor window that had been left open for her. 

“The level of subterfuge this perfectly normal administrative process requires…” Fifth-seat Kaname Tousen groaned from where he was lying on the floor, partially under his traditional low desk. 

“-Is half the fun, you dork!” Mashiro giggled, closing the window after her as she climbed in. “All the autumn stuff is in the shops and vending machines now, and I made sure to get every persimmon-flavored thing they had just for you!” She grinned down at her chosen assistant for scheduling. 

The other purpose for the snacks was Bribery. 

Kaname Tousen was, by Mashiro’s estimation, definitely the smartest person in the Ninth Division, and possibly in the entire Soul Society.  If the world was a fair place, he’d be lieutenant and she’d be fifth seat, but the world wasn’t a fair place and in the week between Graduation with every honor Shin’o academy had and starting as the 9th Division’s 20th seat, Kaname had been struck down with some sort of horrible spinal infection that damn near killed him, made him miss his entire first month and a half of work, and left him with occasional bouts of crippling pain, like today, when he’d decided to risk worsening Kensei’s already low opinion of him by doing his work lying flat on his back on a hot pad. 

Kaname’s services as a Brainiac were much in demand and his availability highly limited, so Mashiro guaranteed her place on his schedule with confection-based compensation.

“I mean, Kensei’s a mean old sack and that’s not great for the division too, but the spy shenanigans and scheduling snacktime really is like, The Highlight Of The Month sometimes.” Mashiro shrugged, flopping down on the floor beside him and  dumping the snacks out between them. 

“Captain Muguruma’s sense of discipline is intense but very necess- ow. Yeah, that’s not happening.” Kaname sighed, laying back down from trying to sit up. “-He’s a good man.  Difficult, sometimes, but a good man.”

“You’re way too nice for your own good. Here’s the Persimmon castella cakes.” Mashiro grunted, handing Kaname the small package and the payroll notes to read. 

Kaname groped across his desk for a clipboard, attached the payroll notes to it, propped them up on his stomach so they were balanced on the edge of his desk, and laid all the way back down, face pointed at the ceiling rather than the notes.  Mashiro opened up a packet of Amakara rice crackers, watching him with interest as Kaname took off his goggles. 

The goggles were what convinced Mashiro he was the smartest man in the Soul Society.  Kaname had been born totally blind, but he had figured out how to mount a pair of tiny cameras in the frame of a pair of safety goggles, which were connected to… he’d explained that the little bricks behind the opaque white lenses of his goggles contained something like an obscenely long and complicated Kido spell that spotted readable characters, ‘read’ them, and turned the resulting text into words that played out of the tiny “Microphonogram Speech Players or ‘speakers’ “ hidden in the legs of the goggles.  So he could read pretty much anything printed with enough contrast (and decent enough handwriting, Captain Urahara) because his goggles would read it aloud for him.  They were much slower than most people read, and sometimes he had to stop work to “charge” the spell that made them work, but they worked a damn treat, and had the added advantage that Kaname himself did not need to be looking at the thing he was trying to read, only the goggles.

So now he unwound the coil of wire that connected the Kido brick to the microphonogram, placed the ‘speaker’ back in his ear, and set the glasses on his chest so he could read the notes while keeping his back and neck pressed to the hotpad. 

True Genius, that.

“I love how the cameras wiggle.” Mashiro grinned, watching the two lenses shift and dilate as they focused on the notes. “They move the same way cicadas and grasshoppers shift their eyes independently to focus. It’s so clever to have them operate like that.”

“Hm.  That was Kakiyo’s design, not mine.” Kaname smiled.  Kakiyo was his adopted and now-deceased sister.  “She was always more of an entomologist than me.”

“Weird that you ended up with Suzumushi the cricket for a Zanpaktou then.” Mashiro pondered.  She liked Suzumushi- that sword, and her own Musabori Kuu Batta (Devouring Locust) were two of less than One Hundred insect-type Zanpaktou in the court guard, and fewer still that weren’t butterflies. She couldn’t really see Suzumushi- no shinigami could perceive another’s Zanpaktou Spirit- but she could hear Batta’s half of the conversation the two would chirp to each other sometimes.

Kaname paused from opening the persimmon cake packaging with his teeth. “...Yes. Bizarre.” he said, with a rueful finality that Mashiro took as her cue to change the subject.

“Right. Where are we on the Agricultural Practices census?” She sighed, pulling the active projects list and next month’s calendar out in front of her. 

“Maegawa-san has requested travel permissions to-” Kaname replied, flipping through the pages, the goggles faintly reading off names as he tracked them with his fingertip. “Ah, ‘pull the damn report out through the East 36th Daimyo’s nose if I have to’, which I think we can call a requisitions expense rather than reconnaissance. Unless you think Lieutenant Fon would enjoy the catharsis as well.”

“She WOULD, actually, that girl is wound tighter than my grandpa’s pocketwatch.”  Mashiro nodded, placing the card for “3rd Seat Maegawa” in the “Out Of Office” Pile. 

And so it went for a pleasant hour, eating snacks and solving the five-dimensional time, space and payroll puzzle of scheduling, with Kaname helping her keep track of the process and who was not supposed to be doing overtime or couldn’t be trusted to work with someone else or on maternity leave or whatever. 

“Alright, I think that’s nearly everyone sorted…” Mashiro muttered, going down the list of all 200 division members to make sure they’d made it onto the roster. “Oh wait, we didn’t put you down!” She giggled. 

“I believe my schedule should be identical to last months while we are still doing data entry into the archives, but I do have a request- May I have this coming Friday off?” he asked. “I have an engagement.”

“Who’s getting engaged?” Mashiro teased, erasing him from the roster that day.

Kaname tilted his head a bit, pointing his ear at her with a conspiratorial smirk. “...Can you keep a secret?”

Mashiro blinked at him in surprise, then gasped with delight and leaned in  “Cross my heart and hope to die!” She whispered back, giggling. 

Kaname regarded her for a moment, teasing. “Love- Captain Aikawa has finally worked up the nerve to propose to Lieutenant Yadomaru.”

Mashiro made a noise like an asthmatic teakettle as she tried to not shriek with delight and deafen Kaname as well, rolling onto her back and kicking her legs in the air with excitement.

“-He wants it to be a surprise though, and Lisa is always going through his bag for his water bottle or whatever at kendo practice and she will notice if his schedule changes, so I need to duck out during lunch today and pick up the ring for him to propose with on Friday.” Kaname elaborated.

“A conspiracy!” Mashiro balled her fists with excitement. “When? Where? Can I come?”

“You got an invitation to Captain Kyoraku’s next moon-viewing party, right?”  Kaname asked and she nodded.  “It’s then.”

“EEEK!” Mashiro giggled with delight. 

“What’re you two giggling about?” Kensei grunted from the doorway, still sweaty from training. 

“It’s a SECRET!” Mashiro glared imperiously, sweeping the snack wrappers out of sight off the desk as Kaname sat up with a small grunt of pain and bowed his head in salute.

“Whatever.” Kensei rolled his eyes. “Tousen. Read your report on the dodgy census statistics and possible disappearances in West 66 and I think you’re right.  Something stinks on ice out there.”

Kaname gasped sharply with relief and bowed his head in gratitude. “Thank you, Sir.”

“I gotta attend a captain’s meeting this afternoon because Urahara has some harebrained new project to show and tell-” Kensei continued, glaring at his battered fingertips where he’d caught a bokto the wrong way during training. “-Saw that Maegawa is gonna be in East 36 and Fukuda’s on maternity leave, so I’m sending every seated officer from you to 15th seat Shizawa out there to investigate and deal with it.  You all need to be at the Kido Corps for teleportation at three. Mashiro, don’t burn the place down.”

“OH COME ON!” Mashiro shouted with disappointment. 

“HEY! No backtalk!  I know you wanna go but someone’s gotta hold the fort-” Kensei glared down at her. 

“It’s not me!  Kaname has to- I mean-” She sputtered, abruptly remembering his request for secrecy.

“It’s alright!” Kaname tried to smile but ended up grimacing at her as he got up. “I’ll just go get it now and it’ll be in my pocket when I get back!” 

Mashiro glared at him for a moment, but sat back down. “Okay. I guess.” She pouted. 

“Get what?” Asked Kensei. 

“A surprise for Captain Kyoraku’s moon-veiwing party!” Kaname grinned at him as he collected his belongings into his satchel by touch.

Kensei pondered that for a long moment, glaring at Kaname. “...How’d you score an invite?”

“Captain Aikawa invited me along.” Kaname explained over Mashiro’s offended scoff. “We were roommates when we were at the academy and he has very kindly kept inviting me along to things despite my not really being able to keep up with him anymore.” 

Kensei regarded him a moment longer. “Huh.” he eventually decided. “Well, see you when you get back from the investigation.” He waved, dismissing Tousen.

“Thank you Sir.  Lieutenant Kuna.” Kaname bowed before jogging off. 

“See you later Kaname-kun!” Mashiro called after him.

“-Even if he won’t technically see yo- OW!” Kensei yelped as Mashiro clipped him sharply under the ear. 

“Why are you so MEAN to him!?” Mashiro glared up at her captain as he rubbed his jaw. 

“I’m not mean! I’m just- it’s just office banter!” Kensei growled back. “I can just not like a guy and still be colleagues with him, okay?”

“No, apparently you can’t!” Mashiro “You’ve been really hard on him and getting on his case and teasing him since day one!”

“-More like day thirty-two, he missed the first six weeks of his appointment.” Kensei grumbled.

“That was literally FIFTY years ago and he was in the HOSPITAL. BECAUSE HE NEARLY DIED!”  She bellowed, probably loud enough for Kaname to hear in the street but it didn’t matter. “Yeah, it sucked, but it wasn’t his fault! I don’t get why you were mad at him back then, and I really don’t get why you’re still mad about it NOW!”

“I’M NOT MAD ABOUT THAT, I JUST-” Kensei bellowed back but then stopped, hand over his mouth. “...He keeps secrets.”

Mashiro stared at him blankly for a moment, face slowly collapsing from bewilderment into disgust. “OH. MY GOD. You’re the one always going on about operational security!  He’s just careful- all the details are in his summarial reports, if you ever read them…”

“I do!” Kensei barked. “And they’re-  I mean, All the information he’s required to fill out is there, and then some.” He sputtered, deflating. 

Mashiro leaned in close, eyebrow cocked at him. 

“...But I keep getting this feeling it’s not the whole picture.” Kensei muttered. 

“Ugh!” Mashiro shouted, throwing her hands up and turning away. “So you don’t like him because you have bad reading comprehension?”

“Shut up! I don’t- there’s just something off about that guy! He’s always taking weird days off-” Kensei started, ticking off a list on his fingers. 

“You mean the sick days from his spinal infection?” Mashiro glared, arms folded across her chest.

Kensei continued to count his grievances “-and taking secret calls in weird corners-!”

“You mean privately scheduling his medical treatment? For his spinal infection?” Mashiro continued to glare.

“-And getting him to go to the fifth or third division is like pulling teeth! What the hell is up with that?” Kensei demanded.

“You mean the divisions that have A) Lieutenant Iba, the woman who has a weird horoscope-based personal grudge against him-” Mashiro asked, mimicking Kensei’s earlier counting, “-and B) Lieutenant Aizen, who also keeps forgetting he has a spinal injury and slaps Kaname across the shoulders every time they meet?  Yeah, I don’t blame him for wanting to avoid two of the most annoying people in the whole court guard!”

“Whatever.” Kensei waved her off. “I’m still right. There’s something off with him. Now get that roster updated and posted!”

“Yes, sir.” Mashiro groaned, rolling her eyes at him and stomping back to Kaname’s office for the Roster.

***

Kaname hadn’t felt this light in years. 

Oh god.

Oh, GOD!

Please, please, please please let this be happening?

He sprinted down the road, back towards the apartment that he and Sajin shared, the small box with Love’s ring in his chest pocket.  He allowed himself an ounce of elation- After all, I am just a young man who has picked up the engagement ring of one of his best friends!  It is exactly what anyone would expect to see-

That was the tricky part of The Curse. 

He couldn’t talk about it, like many curses, but it had the added complication that anyone who looked at him- or listened to him, or put their hands on him, or- 

Well, they’d only find what they expected to find. 

Certainly not a curse. 

But curses cut both ways- The broader and less specific a command for someone bearing a curse was, the harder it was to enforce, and it was harder to come up with a command broader and more open to interpretation than “Help Me Kill God”. So as long as Kaname could argue to the curse that an action did “help” some aspect of Aizen’s plans, he could be inefficient, neglect to mention something important, do an assigned task sloppily, fail to cover his tracks and so on-  Sometimes Other times, the curse would take effect and cripple him until he relented and obeyed Aizen’s command again. Or at least, managed to convince Aizen he was doing what Aizen wanted. 

Aizen hadn’t quite realized it, but he was also subject to his own illusions, and there was a gap- a mirror image, if Kaname understood mirrors correctly- so long as he appeared as Aizen expected, Aizen wouldn’t notice him sabotaging Aizen’s machinations. So for the last three years, Kaname had done his best to appear tired and overworked and failing from exhaustion rather than malice, or like he was starting to agree with Aizen, which is exactly what the narcissist expected after fifty years of mental, physical and spiritual torture. 

It was finally  paying off. 

He’d managed to make the kidnappings Aizen and Gin had been conducting on the villagers of West 56 appear by conducting a census that showed the discrepancy of expected versus actual population.  -And made sure the increased hollow activity in the area from Aizen’s experiments showed up in the 10th Division’s monitoring statistics. - And the weird waves of reiatsu visible on the 12th’s monitoring equipment- not what people expected to see, but by keeping all the evidence noticed by unrelated parties, he kept it out of the scope of Aizen’s Illusions. 

Kyoga Suigetsu took a lot of energy to operate, and Tousen was pretty sure Aizen could only passively fool about 150 at a time- he chose mostly his own division and people he saw daily, like his neighbors and cross-division colleagues, and could only actively alter the reality of maybe 20 people at once- the other captains and a few key would-be witnesses.   So a rural census-taker, and two members at the bottom ranks of other divisions weren’t actively subject to the illusion. 

He had to do it on faith, that someone would notice-

Kaname felt like he’d been holding his breath for weeks now, doing his best to tell Aizen and the constantly-itching nails in his spine that this was a Perfectly Normal Database Cross-referencing project- very boring, but it will be missed if it’s not done, Lord Aizen- and nothing to draw attention to the horrible Laboratory…

…By some miracle, Mugurama had read the report, understood and believed it- Kensei had a naturally suspicious mind, so Kaname made sure the report was full of “It's entirely possible this is all a weird coincidence!” to make him suspicious.  The curse only showed people what they expected to see, and for once, Kensei’s natural pessimistic expectations allowed him to see the truth. 

24 hours.  That’s all I have left.

The only people in the Ninth Aizen had under his Active Influence were Kensei and Mashiro, so he wouldn’t be able to hide the nature of the laboratory from the investigation team without dropping the Active Illusion on someone else and risk discovery- and so long as Aizen didn’t find out about the expedition, he wouldn’t know to make that shift in time.

24 hours. I only need to keep Aizen distracted for 24 hours. 

In Aizen’s personal quarters, The Distraction Apparatus waited.

Aizen was mistaken to force Kaname to do his lab work for him- Kaname understood it better than him now, and had pulled aside a little trick to confuse him. The Hogyoku bonded with its user, almost like a zanpaktou, and communicated with them- it purred when Aizen fed it, and whined when it was hungry.  Aizen knew about Suzumushi’s Bankai- he’d insisted Kaname develop it under his supervision, so he would know of all Kaname’s abilities.  But he only knew it from the inside, and hadn’t realized that not only was anyone inside blind, deaf and without any form of sensory input, neither could anyone on the outside sense anyone within. It was worth it to break Suzumushi like that. It was actually her idea, to break the guard of his Zanpaktou and separate the ring from it.  That’s where the Bankai was stored, and with a hell of a lot of practice, he’d learned to cast it remotely.

It had been months before he had an opportunity-  Kaname would never forgive what had been done to that poor angel, but during one of the The Sessions where Aizen was using the Hogyoku to change the angel, Kaname was able to get ahold of the little Illusion box Aizen kept the infernal device in, Secure Suzumushi’s ring to the floor, disguise the tampering with a false floor, and return the box to it’s place without Aizen’s notice. The Ring had been waiting there for months.

24 hours, and the secret will be out. 

He’d memorized Aizen’s schedule- in 22 minutes Aizen would be entering the reiatsu-locked laboratory of the 12th with his own Captain Shinji for Kisuke’s Demonstration, and would not be able to feel Kaname activate his Bankai. When he came back out, it would seem like the Hogyoku had vanished. And for all Aizen would be able to tell, it had- he wouldn’t be able to perceive the Hogyoku or it’s illusion box until Kaname released his Bankai. 

So for now, Kaname acted exactly like Aizen would expect him to act- a little tired, a lot in pain, but elated that two of his best friends were getting engaged, and that he’d be able to help. That was a natural source of excitement, and definitely not any kind of counter conspiracy-

Kaname jogged down the stairs to the apartment, ring box in his pocket, heart hammering, hands shaking a bit as he took out the keys to unlock his door, grabbed the knob that was not there and was suddenly off balance and falling- Into something soft and steady that carefully picked him up like a child’s doll and set him back on his feet, gently taking his hands.

“Are you alright?” Sajin asked, soft, deep voice tinged with concern. “My apologies, I was just trying to do some house cleaning while the weather is mild and had the door open for ventilation.”

“Y- yeah! I’m. I’m alright. Just- distracted. I’ve had some good news!”  He grinned up at his friend. 

“Oh?” Sajin asked, tugging lightly at Kaname’s fingertips to indicate he should step inside.  “Mind your way, I have all the chairs out in the living room so I can sweep.”

They had been living in this garden-level apartment for the forty years since Sajin had followed Kaname into the court guard, and under the same roof at the Akaido City Library for many years before that, and their domestic arrangements settled into a comfortable and comforting routine- Kaname was incapable of seeing grime, so Sajin did the housekeeping, and Sajin would eat raw, expired meat if left unattended, so Kaname did the cooking and shopping. 

Kaname followed his lead, hand reflexively on Sajin’s instinctively proffered arm to keep balance while he unbuckled and took off his boots- the gestures of proximal intimacy had calcified into a secret language between them.

“Thanks-” Kaname stood up and stepped in with a guiding hand on the wall. He could normally navigate the apartment by memory alone. “-I’m only here for a few minutes, I’ve also got a deployment I need to pack for.”

“Deployment?” Sajin asked, following after him, voice slightly muffled from the cloth mask he wore over his face- at least when the door was open.  Being mostly underground had it’s advantages- Kaname didn’t need much light and Sajin possessed almost superhuman darkvision, and the small, high windows that were obscured by bushes gave them enough Privacy that Sajin could relax and keep his face bare at home. 

24 hours.  

Maybe. Maybe when it all came out, and the dust settled--Assuming they don’t hang me alongside Aizen, which was a big If--But once it was all said and done and I still draw breath- Maybe I will have the courage to ask Sajin what it is he feels he needs to hide.Surely, he is far too gentle to be half so monstrous as he claims.

“Kaname?”  Sajin prompted, and Kaname realized he’d been silent for nearly a minute. “S-sorry. I just. Captain Muguruma finally read my report on West 66 and ordered and immediate investigation, so I have to be at the Kido corps by three-” “Kaname.” “Ah, No don’t worry,  I’ll get dinner prepared so you only have to put it under the broiler, and There’s um-” “Kaname.” 

“-I’ll be back by Friday for Love and Lisa’s- Right- Here, I need you to-”  He sputtered, dozens of ideas baying for his attention at once, patting his chest for the ring box- “Kaname!” Sajin snapped, and his giant hands were on Kaname’s shoulders again, turning him around in place to face his friend, gloved hand suddenly under his chin, holding his face up for Sajin to glare at. “...When was the last time you slept?”

“I’m fine!” Kaname tried to jerk back, laughing defensively. 

“You’ve gone to bed after me and gotten up before me, if you went to bed at all for at least a week, and I’m doing maximum overtime. You don't have bags so much as matched luggage under your eyes and can’t finish a sentence coherently.  You’re not touching anything in the kitchen.” Sajin rattled off, giving Kaname’s chin a light shake. “...it’s not yet eleven, and the Kido Corps is less than ten minutes from here. I’ll see to your packing. Lie down. Please.”  

Kaname sighed, shoulders slumping. “Sajin, I- I need to-”

“You need. To sleep.” Sajin rumbled, no room in his voice for argument.

Kaname panted for a moment, realizing that if Sajin wasn’t holding him in place he’d be swaying with exhaustion. 

24 hours.

…I can spend one or two of them resting. 

If I don’t manage to prove my innocence, I’ll want to have at least this to think about on the gallows.

“...Stay with me until I fall asleep?” Kaname asked, voice soft. “It’s just. It’s been a lot.” “Of course.” Sajin hummed, rubbing his cheek. “I also need to, ah- use facilities, first.” he grimaced, and Sajin let him go. 

“I’m coming in after you if I think you’ve passed out on the floor.” Sajin threatened. 

“That happened ONE TIME-!” Kaname protested, following the wall to the bathroom.

Once inside, he checked the time again. 

If the meeting had stuck to schedule, they should be inside the 12th’s labs now.  

Kaname sent Aizen a test message to his Soul Pager. 

> Mandatory Status Report: Muguruma handed me a sudden assignment. Won’t be back until Friday.

If he was outside the Reiatsu-locked lab, that missive would have Aizen furiously calling him in under five minutes. He timed it, relieving himself and washing his hands as he waited-

Nothing.

“Here goes…” he muttered, hoping the sound of the bathroom fan and the running water would cover his voice. He focused, feeling the silver ring start to rotate in his mind, the way it multiplied and stretched, the rings dancing a circle on that which needed to be concealed-

“-Bankai.” He whispered, skin tingling- 

-And suddenly he was keenly aware of the hogyoku and it’s illusion box, as though he were holding it, both wholly contained and hidden by his Bankai.  

It is done The distraction is set. In a few hours, all will be revealed to the rest of the court guard. There. All I need  to do now was follow the assignment like I was told and investigate the- the-

-He suddenly he felt the Bankai’s draw on his power and he collapsed over the sink, retching and knees shaking with how weak he felt. The skin on the back of his neck prickled and almost tasted like vinegar in the back of his mind,  high-pitched ringing between his ears. 

The nails sizzled ominously but there was no power behind it- It’s alright- I can- I can deal with this. Just breathe, come on dumbass, you just need to keep breathing for another 24 hours.

“Kaname? Sajin called.

“Nothing broke!” Kaname called back, forcing himself to his feet and stumbling back against the wall.  He tested the Bankai again- It holds. Very convenient of you Suzumushi, that I only need to cast and feed it, rather than concentrate…

Suzumushi chriped distractedly, her focus on maintaining the Bankai. With her concentration, the illusion would hold even as he slept. Cold water on his face and neck, trying to make himself vaguely presentable and the room stop spinning as he stumbled out- oh, Sajin is right here, how thoughtful of him…

“It’s alright, just follow me…” Sajin soothed, guiding him along to the Thick Futon and large collection of pillows they used as a couch- nothing with legs would bear Sajin’s weight for long. He allowed Sajin to pull him down, settling beside Kaname until he was wedged between Sajin’s giant body and the collection of cushions, head on his friend’s chest, listening to his heartbeat- A little slower than mine, and steady- always so steady- so- 

Kaname was asleep before he completed the thought. 

---

Scene two: 23 hours later

“It’s just up this way Mister Shinigami!”  The boy said, his hot little hand pulling Kaname along. 

They’d gotten to West 66 and Kaname had realized he’d been wrong to worry about looking like he already knew the way to the Laboratory- Iruka Village had taken some fairly extreme defensive measures against the kidnappings since the last time he’d been forced out here- Barricades errected, bridges taken out, and even the road torn up and replanted to hide the route to the village. Kaname was entirely turned around before they even set foot in the Village and started asking the peasants if there was anything unusual nearby.

Fortunately for the expediency of the investigation, one Young Shuuhei Hisagi was extremely eager to help, giving them a detailed accounting of the strange activities at the old foundry, where someone had turned one of the kiln’s back on and there was “An ‘lectric” generator and it smelled a lot like someone was cooking rancid pork but he’d never seen anybody there, even when he went into the basement because he wasn’t ascared of it, weird that there’s a basement, nobody makes basements here as it’s a swamp-

Kaname felt his skin go cold when he realized the boy had somehow gotten inside and made notes and even poked some of the machinery, but given he hadn’t tried to actually chew Kaname’s arm off as he lead the Ninth Division Investigation team to the Lab, he was probably uncontaminated…

“There’s a hill an’ it’s on the other side- mind the branch.” Young Shuuhei was one of the great tragedies of the poor parts of the Rukongai- whip-smart and observant and thoughtful, but illiterate from the lack of teachers, and likely destined for an early grave if the statistical average lifespan out here held true.  His Reiryoku shimmered at the edges- with a little training and a better diet he might even make for a good Shinigami. 

Maybe if I live through this I can get him a scholarship.  Kaname mused, trying to think about literally anything but the nauseating familiarity of the smell creeping over the hill. 

“Mr. Hisagi?” he asked in the polite voice he’d cultivated as the Head Librarian to indicate to children he was taking them very seriously.

The Boy snapped to attention. “Sir?”

“Thank you for leading us here, but I absolutely cannot allow you any closer. It’s extremely dangerous here-”  he started to explain.

“I been in before! An’ the door’s trickylike you gotta pull the handle up and in and rattle it to get in and then prop somethin’ in the gap or it locks back behind you-”  Shuuhei explained, gesturing  like Kaname could see him demonstrating. 

“-And you were lucky to get out in one piece! I also need you to do a very important job.”  Kaname sighed, familiar with this kind of kid- slightly too bright and kind-hearted for his own good, but reliable at a task- “-I can hear that some of your friends have followed us from the village.  They’re about a quarter mile behind us-”

“Dangit Suichi-!” Shuuhei muttered under his breath. “-Yeah that’s probably my little brother and his friends. You want me to go chase him back home?”

“Precisely. Also, tell everyone to get indoors and stay put until they get an all-clear.  Just in case something goes wrong, I need everyone to stay safe until re-enforcements arrive.  So go get everyone back home and inside, alright?” “Yessir!” Shuuhei snapped a salute and Kaname heard some of the other Shinigami giggle behind him.

“I’m glad I can rely on you.” He nodded, and shooed Shuuhei down the road. The boy took off, hollering for his brother.

“I didn’t know you were so good with kids.” Laughed Sixth Seat Todo Izaemon. “Cute little thing too-”

“Being in charge of the West 51 Children’s Intensive Literacy School teaches you how to get along with them.”  He shrugged. “Alright, I can’t sense anything, but that doesn’t mean danger is not present.  Even numbered seats- go west and approach from the north. Odd numbers, we go east and approach from the south.”

“Sir!” Izaemon nodded, the next ranked officer. 

Kaname approached the building at a crouch, straining to hear- the brief nap Sajin had insisted on and six-pack of illicitly acquired 4th Division “Stamina Supplements” were doing what they could for him, but everything  hurt and Suzumushi’s Bankai was even more draining than he’d anticipated and he could barely sense more than a few feet around him. But he found the door- Shuuhei was right, the Handle was starting to go out of alignment- Up and in, right? Yeah- and when nothing behind it exploded, he cautiously stepped in. 

“Nobody ran out our side Sir!” Izaemon called and Kaname acknowledged him with a nod. 

“What the hell IS this place?” Seventh-seat Akishita asked, looking around the room.  This was the main floor of the laboratory, where the bulk of Aizen’s butchery was done- the whole place reeked of rotting flesh and sulfur- byproducts of the ‘Hollowfication Process’, and Kaname very nearly tripped on a groove gashed into the floor that hadn’t been there last time. 

“That looks like an office or control room up there-” Kaname said, pointing to the partial second story that took up the west third of the building that he REALLY hoped was still there. “-Akishita, with me. Lets see if there’s a schematic or something.”

“Sir!” She agreed. 

Oh good, it is still there. He thought, trying to not pant with pain- oh god, his eyes were burning and spine felt like it was actively dissolving he was so TIRED- He touched his watch, checking the time again. 

24 minutes.  Come on, just a little more-

He got to the door at the top of the stairs, Akishita behind him. 

“Are you alright Sir?”  She asked.

“What?” He jerked towards her. 

“You seem… really off today.”  She frowned. He could sense the shape of her this close, and the way her hand on the hilt of her Zanpaktou. Maybe just resting, maybe not. 

“I- I haven’t been sleeping well. Nightmares.” He gulped. That was actually entirely true.  Still the nails sizzled louder and he winced. “-I -I might need to put in for sick leave when we get back.”

“You really should.  You look awful.”  She nodded, hand off the hilt. 

Kaname nodded, and carefully opened the door into the control room. He felt Akishita turn, making sure nothing unexpected followed them as he stepped in- no traps, but a strange sort of coldness- not a draft, like a there was a block of ice in here-

The door slammed shut behind him. 

“Heya Goggles!” a boy’s voice drawled behind him. 

-Or a snake. 

Kaname froze, skin going cold as Akishita called for him from the other side of the door.

“Gin?” He asked, trying to keep his voice even.

“She’s right, you look like shit!” the boy laughed, activating a Kido seal that barricaded them in the room.  “-Boss sent me to talk to you because the CRAZIEST thing happened at the Captain’s meeting this morning!”

“-Please tell me Urahara’s latest crime against nature maimed him?  I could use some good news.”  Kaname groaned, complaining like usual, like nothing was wrong. There was more shouting from the main floor. He braced himself, feet under his shoulders, feeling Gin’s aura twist as he decided on an angle to strike from.

“Oh nah, Aizen-sama is wrapping things up and planting evidence over at the 12th right now, that’s why I’m here!” Gin laughed. “No, Your Boss Muguruma stopped everyone before Urahara’s demonstration to tell everyone about this report you submitted sayin’ several hundred people had vanished in West 66!  The other haoris were all horrified, I tell ya- Captain Hirako just about shit bricks!  Hollerin’ Aizen-sama’s ear off about it the whole way back to the fifth!”

Kaname gripped Suzumushi’s hilt.

“Oh now don’t be unfriendly!  I even got somethin’ for ya!” Gin laughed, and tossed something his way. Knowing better than to catch anything he threw, Kaname waited for it to hit the floor-

PING!

-Stomach turning over as he recognized the metallic chime of Suzumishi’s ring. 

“Neat trick by the way- Aizen must have spent ten hours turning over the fifth looking for the Hogyoku!!” Gin laughed. “-He didn’t actually find it neither, if it’s any consolation. But he has me, and I got…Abilities.” The boy leered as Kaname Swiped the ring from the ground- Suzumushi had been strangely quiet, and only now did he realize that at some point the sensory illusion of his Bankai had been reversed. Louder yelling from the main floor and the sound of Akishita preparing a Hakudo Kido to blow the door in on the other side. 

“-Shit.”  Kaname growled, reconnecting the ring to the hilt, Suzumushi whimpering in pain. 

“Madder than a mosquito in a mannequin factory he is!” Gin chuckled, then surged forward. Even on a good day, Gin was nearly impossible to block and tonight-

“-Sorry goggles, but I got orders. Rikujokoru!” he hissed fingertips on kaname's sternum, and Kanane was slammed to the ground, six beams of Kido energy hitting his middle, paralyzing him completely. “Aizen-sama says if you can get outta this and get home you can live, but if I’m honest, I don’t really like your odds-” Gin explained, walking over to the control panel and flicking it on, the machines whirring to life and something rumbling beneath them. 

…Basement. Kaname realized. The boy said there was a basement- there wasn’t one last time?

There was a loud hissing as vents opened and gas streamed out of the floor into the main room, the sickening scent of rotting fruit comingled with melting plastic- The Hollowfication Compound? It’s a gas now!?

The shouting turned to screaming.

Oh God.

The screaming turned to roaring. 

Oh god, no. Please-

“- 'Specially not now.” Gin leered, patting him on the shoulder as he turned to leave. “Bye-Bye!  See you tomorrow-! …Maybe.”

Kaname could hear Gin leaving out the small fire window up at the roofline and he struggled, concentrating his reiatsu in his mouth to speak the counterspell- “-Horses of wind and gale, river of thread- 

-Akishita screamed in the hall, and there was the terrible wet sound of tearing flesh and breaking bones-

“- By Shadow and storm, unbind me!” He hissed, and the spell dissipated with the loud sound of shattering glass. Kaname scrambled to his feet, standing up in time to feel the gaze of ten newly-turned hollows fall upon him. His watch pulsed against his wrist, the timer for 24 hours Going off. 

“Well. I did say it would be over one way or another, didn’t I?” He grimaced, drawing Suzumushi as his former colleagues charged the plate glass that separated them. 

---

Part two approximately whenever I finish it :)

[inaconstantstateofchange]

BG3 Companion Headcanons: Wicked Grace (Or, Well, Talis¹)

I got to thinking about what it would look like if we had a similar scene with the BG3 companions as the infamous Wicked Grace scene from Dragon Age: Inquisition. Enjoy:

Lae'zel: She doesn't really see the point of a game seemingly so dependent on chance rather than true strategy – she and Gale share a bonding moment over this – and refuses to participate after losing by an embarrassing margin in the first game. However, she does take a "strategic vantage point" from which to keenly observe the proceedings, and makes a private vow to win back her honor in future, after the sting of defeat has eased.

Astarion: He's the one who suggested the whole affair in the first place, but he quickly finds himself with cause to regret it. On the one hand, he ends up... enjoying himself to a certain degree, but on the other, he does not come out of it with anything near the unquestioned victory he expected. He's not used to playing against opponents with a comparable skill level, so his attempts to cheat his way to victory only succeed a fraction of the time. His stress levels increase after Lae'zel taps out and takes up haunting the table, and the inconsistency with which she calls out his cheating is worse for his nerves than if she did it every time.

Shadowheart: Astarion may have suggested the affair in the first place, but she's the one who manipulated him into it, by "casually" noting on a mission one day that it was a shame none of them had a deck to play with, as she was a great enjoyer of the game even though she had never had any great skill with it. In fact, such games were highly emphasized among Sharrans for their unparalleled utility in information gathering, manipulation, and subterfuge.

Gale: He starts out very certain of his skill and assured victory, then begins making several pointed comments about how it would be a different story if they were to bring out the lanceboard when he begins losing ground — and articles of clothing. He makes a decent showing for himself, but folds out just after the midpoint of the evening to join Lae'zel in treating the remaining players as the prime entertainment they are.

Wyll: He played with some of the Fist recruits as a teenager, but he's a little out of practice. He gets fleeced for the first few rounds, but settles into it, keeps his wits about him, and quietly gets his own back by the later rounds. He regularly catches his opponents off-guard with an unexpected quip, and Karlach has to excuse herself for an entire round after snorting ale out of her nose in a horrid mix of foul steam and boiling liquid. He apologizes vigorously, but can't stop laughing along with the rest of them, and it certainly doesn't make him stop.

Karlach: She's actually a brutal opponent, but unfortunately stymied by her recent experience being with the rulesets used by those devils willing to play in Avernus, and, prior to that, the heavily amended rules favored by the seedier neighborhoods of Baldur's Gate. No one – particularly not those currently winning – is willing to switch to a different set of rules in the middle of the evening, but Karlach makes them promise that next time, she gets to pick the ruleset. She calls it a night after the Ale Incident, clapping Wyll on the back before flopping down next to Gale and Lae'zel, and picking a new target to cheer on each round. (Her cheering is distracting enough that said targets are typically grateful when her attention lands on anyone else. This is on purpose. She is having a grand time.)

Minthara: She treats the initial invite with icy disdain, noting that she has far more productive things to do than to engage in such puerile pursuits. The camp is small enough that she can't entirely avoid the bright cluster of gathered individuals raucously ribbing at and laughing with each other. She ends up drifting nearer, noting that in Menzoberranzan they played for much more meaningful stakes than mere coin. Everyone's in a good enough mood to leave that one alone, and so she somehow ends up standing just behind Halsin's shoulder. She offers blunt and often biting commentary berating his strategy for being too hands-off, falling silent only when he wins that round — albeit with a gambit that would have lost him some fingers in Menzoberranzan. He looks at her with a gleam in his eye, but doesn't press his point, merely tilting his hand to allow her a better view, and they proceed to form a fairly successful team.

Halsin: He plays up his ignorance at first, claiming cards to be "an invention of civilization", but acquits himself with the skill of a reasonably accomplished dabbler. As the night wears on, he admits in a quiet, humor-laced aside that his master, the previous First Druid, was an inveterate card sharp, and Halsin's own skill was merely what he acquired in self-defense. When Minthara joins him, he ignores her more bloodthirsty suggestions, but incorporate those that suit his own strategy, culminating in an unpredictable, yet startlingly effective strategy.

Jaheira: She's brutal. A terror. They overlook her the first round – innocent, unknowing fools that they are – more focused on their own petty squabbles with one another. She smiles calmly, refuses to rise to any of the general ribbing, then sweeps the entire pot at the last minute with a play that leaves them all gaping at her. From that point, they are gunning for her in particular — and she makes them fight for every single copper they regain.

Minsc: No one is certain whether he knows what game they're playing. He will make absolutely absurd plays, then come in at the last with a card laid out on Boo's direction that somehow turns it around. His chaotic playstyle means he's never first — but he's also, inexplicably, never last.

¹ "Some games of skill are detailed below, but games of chance are also popular. Wagering on any sort of game is also a favorite pastime.... Talis Deck: A deck of seventy-eight cards, typically made of lacquered paper or parchment, in a wooden case. The deck is similar to a tarot deck." Forgotten Realms Campaign Setting 3E. 2001. p. 96.

[ladykailitha]

Steve's D&D Class

I'm talking if Steve was a D&D class as person and not what he would PLAY in universe.

I've been seeing this around the fandom a lot. And I have opinionsTM, having started playing on 2nd Ed (3.5 was out at this time, but the dude DMing hated it.) Now this is only if you are setting in canon time period.

The 2nd Edition of Dungeons and Dragons came out in 1989, so we're going have to go back even father.

The PALADIN when first introduced in 1975 and could only have ONE alignment. Lawful good. And could only be human.

Also they had to have REALLY high scores. Strength, Constitution, Charisma, and Wisdom.

Sounding a lot like Steve so far right?

Only here's where it gets a little...tricky?

(Copied from the Wikipedia)

A paladin must be of Lawful Good alignment in 3rd edition or earlier.

A Paladin may never willfully commit an evil act.

A Paladin cannot associate with any character who persistently commits acts which would cause the paladin him/herself to fall – notably evil creatures.

A paladin must remain truthful and forthright at all times.

A paladin must give fair warning and due quarter to enemies.

A paladin holds stealth, subterfuge, attack from the rear, missile weapons and especially poison as weapons of last resort.

See those requirements up there? That's where our beloved babysitter falls apart as a paladin.

The amount of crimes Steve commits in the first season alone preclude him from being a paladin. The under-aged drinking, smoking, and sex. The vandalism (even if he didn't do it himself he knew who did). Hanging out with Tommy H. and Carol. Then there's all the stuff in the following seasons where a paladin would take a LOT of issue with how the party works in general. All the breaking and entering they do, all the lying, because they're basically kids all the sneak attacks...

So what is Steve then?

In 1982 the barbarian was introduced. Constitution and Dexterity are their main ability scores. But Strength and Charisma are up there, too. Tanks in light armor, they take a hit and keep coming.

They have a "sixth sense" about things and abilities like back protection (a chance they'll sense a sneak attack), surprise, survival, tracking, first aid...

And even though it's not introduced (vaguely) until 2nd Ed., rage.

Season two the tracking of the demodogs. The surprise attacks he's really good at. His ability to hit hard and take harder hits. His being a lifeguard and knowing first aid.

And finally, that amazing scene with demobat. Biting its tail, bashing its brain (if they have them) in, and ripping it in half bare hand AND foot.

Like of course headcanon what you want and have fun, but this is just my two cents. ;)

[terielle]

Who is in charge of recruiting SWORD members?

Well, I think the title say it. And Mild Spoilers when it comes to Kizaru & Egg Head.

But is something that is stuck on my mind.

I have some ideas. And just to warn you, a lot of my reasoning contains X Drake, I‘m a bit obsessed. So let’s start with him.

X Drake

He seems to be the leader of SWORD. I use „seems to be“ because he is at least the captain of those we know. No idea if the group is bigger than those six guys we know.

Being in charge would make him a obvious option, but he is undercover since at least short before sabaody.

But Corby & Helmeppo probably were nobody’s back then and he wouldn’t have known about them. Corby made a name of himself somewhere during the timeskip. Drake probably heard about him but how does he know he would be a good choice?

Prince Grus joined the Marines vaguely the same time as Corbymeppo, so same reading here.

I headcanon Kujalu and Drake knew each other for quite a while, he being a son to Sengoku and her being Tsurus Granddaughter.

So Drake would be likely because he is in charge, but both beeinf active as a Marine would make it harder to find people who fit in.

But it would be a reason why the group is so small.

Sengoku

First undercover pirate we saw was Rosinante, who was a son to Sengoku.

Second and apparently leader of SWORD is Diez Drake, also kind of adopted by Sengoku. So either he has really shitty parenting skills, or there’s a pattern.

Rosinante did report to him, back when Sengoku was an Admiral. As Fleetadmiral he is probably to buisy to continue, so I‘d guess he handed it over to someone else.

Monkey D. Garp

Just throwing him in, he at least was present once when Rosninate called Sengoku and he trained Corby & Helmeppo, also a friend of Sengoku and someone who isn’t always following the rules. And has some trouble with the system.

Tsuru

Nope, she probably can guess her part on Drake being undercover since knows a bit about Rosinante by now- but back in the day she didn’t, so ist not her but I assume she is aware of quite a lot.

Now let’s get to the admirals:

I doubt Fujitora/Issho or Ryokugyu/Aramaki (didn’t find a GiF for him)are in it.

My guess is they know about it, since Kuzan knew about SWORD. And my guess is it was Green bull who brought Drake back from Wano, since he was already there. And I doubt it were the other SWORD members, they barely escaped Blackbeard, Corby was injured and Hibari frozen, not the best start to do another rescue mission to Wano.

Kuzan/Aokiji

Definitely knows about SWORD.

And honestly, his whole failing to become Fleetadmiral and then joining Blackbeard of all people is suspicious as fuck to me. Wouldn’t be surprised if he is undercover as well. I mean, Blackbeard gives me major „Evil“ vibes, so from being a rather good guy to joining the worst of the worst? He could have joined Shanks, who (is a

Suspicious at times as well) seems to be respected by the Marines, as we see on Marineford.

But he left after the paramount war, so hard to recruit if you’re not there. But same as Drake, a reason to why the group is so small.

So I let’s get so Sakazuki and Borsalino.

I think at least one of them knows more than he lets on.

Sakazuki/Akainu/the Donutmaker

Kizaru wanted to go to Wano and Sakazuki said they don’t know about the strength of the enemy. Which isn’t true, because they have someone there.

So it would be obvious that Sakazuki doesn’t know about that. But he is the Fleetadmiral, he should know that he has a spy there, the WG and CP0 do know, it would be weird if he didn’t.

So he either really doesn’t know or he is lying. Or he is just reminding Lizaru that they have to act as if they don’t know a thing.

While I‘m not sure how far he is involved, during Dress Rosa we saw he is somehow pissed at how things are going and that he can’t do what he wants because of the WG. And against Whitebeard he used subterfuge.

So at least I doubt he is against SWORD. It seems like something he would approve of. He is merciless to his version of justice and we know Drake terrorized some people for the sake of his cover (Amigasa village) so I‘d say Akainu is all in as long as it serves Justice and it gives the opportunity to go against the emperors and others without the bureaucracy.

And another Bonus: He can cut the SWORD members loose, if they cause to much trouble, like that guy who stood in his way at Marineford for his ideals(*caugh* Corby).

And finally, my favorite in this,

Kizaru/Borsalino

I mean, „unclear justice“? In a post about Drake in had a conversation in the comments and we agree on Drake is „Chaotic Lawful- I have a strict moral code, but nobody can figure out what the hell it is“.

Would be fitting for Kizarus unclear justice as well.

Another reason:

He and Drake worked together two years before the start of One Piece. Probably just to close the loop to why Drake knew about the Pacifista.

But at Sbaody he „forgot“ to add the „ex“ while addressing Drake with his title.

And he wanted to go to Wano, because maybe he knew more, because he has someone there. And maybe was a tad worried, at Egg Head seems to have something like a conscience.

What are your guesses?

Did I forget someone?

I‘d be happy to hear opinions or ideas.

[minecraftporkchop]

roomies crafting dead headcanons:

Cleo is immune and regularly hunted because of it, eggs her enemies on but ends up hiding

Grian always has her back and regularly scouts out areas for them,master of stealth and subterfuge

Etho is the zombie that they keep on chains most of the time, sometimes they end up having to leave him but somehow he always finds them

[atrophiedemotion]

okay doc *lies down on the therapy couch* tell me about aspd Ivan

(you don’t have to obviously I’m just curious)(love you)

hello valued patient, i will very gladly tell you about aspd ivan. (love you too tysm for the question)

before i start this i just want to add a disclaimer that i do not have aspd. if anyone with aspd says i'm wrong on this definitely believe them before me, this is just a personal headcanon. (i have discussed this with a friend w aspd who agrees with me and im in a similar wheelhouse to aspd, so i have a good amount of knowledge due to that and a lot of research, which is where the headcanon stems from)

okay, so to fully speak about how and why i see ivan with aspd i'm going to also mention the other pd i headcanon ivan with because i want to fully express my perception of him. i personally interpret ivan as having an aspd/npd combination (aspd im more sure of). i see aspd as something ivan was born with a predisposition for (reduced gray matter in the brain, less MAO-A, etc) that got solidified in his very early childhood growing up in the slums and going through the whole 'hung off the top of a building and threatened with death if he didn't make the cut' thing. genetics and trauma, the usual causes. npd is something i imagine him developing later on in life ofc, slowly over time. his chosen survival method being creating a fake persona others admire and his nonexistent self worth & horrible self loathing lead to him developing it (kind of as a subconscious coping mechanism).

okay, with that out of the way, why do i think ivan has aspd?

well. there are a lot of reasons. for one, vivinos and qmeng themselves say that ivan doesn't experience emotions in the same way others do, that he has a 'twisted' personality, he manipulated others to 'play with their feelings', that there was 'something off' about him, etc. while the way these are worded are a little,, derogatory,, it's all very important to ivan's character.

ivan's emotions are muted and dulled compared to others', he literally physically cannot experience them in the same way neurotypicals (in terms of pds) can. from that and other examples in alnst (setting up the wagyein incident w mizi & till, his reaction to his win in r3, his lack of care when it comes to lying & manipulation, etc) it can be pretty safely assumed that ivan doesn't really experience empathy. that's why he learns from other's visible emotions and mirrors them, because he doesn't feel them and instead adopts other people's reactions so he can react/act accordingly/'normally' (specifying here that not having empathy does not mean someone cannot feel sympathy or care about anyone. empathy is being able to feel/pick up on someone else's emotions it does NOT mean someone is uncaring okay thanks moving on).

ivan's tendency to manipulate and lie isn't really explicitly shown much in alnst but the implications are there and very telling imo. before i get into this i want to also specify that 'manipulate' is not the big scary evil word most people think it is and literally everyone does it. to manipulate is to try to have control over a situation, to influence someone/something to get your ideal outcome/get your needs met. many people with cluster b pds learn to manipulate from a young age as a survival mechanism because it is the only way to get the things they need. in ivan's case, his entire fake persona for the aliens and his placations and straight up lying to his peers/teachers/fans etc about his feelings and personality is all manipulation to paint himself in a more favorable light so he has a higher chance of survival. i also wouldn't put it past him to casually manipulate other students at anakt when he was younger so he could learn/observe more things (which was shown with the wagyein incident but i imagine that wasn't the only occasion). i've talked about ivan using subterfuge and disguising his actual intentions behind his odd behaviors which, yk, is manipulation.

when it comes to violence, ivan really doesn't seem to be outwardly violent unless provoked, but when he is he's uncaring about the pain he's causing the other (till lmao) and more focused on what he gets out of the exchange (till's attention & expressions and, imo, a physical stress release). i wasn't sure i was going to bring it up bc i wasn't going to get into the whole pwaspd are violent thing (i dont think it's true for everyone. thoughts and urges are different than actions) but i wanted to talk about ivan's lack of awareness when it comes to it. he impulsively fights back, doesn't pull his punches, and revels in it.

there's also his apparent lack of remorse for his actions (stepping on the flower crown, fighting till, leading mizi and till into danger, all that) and impulsivity when he's not masking (though i consider ivan to be a more calculating individual, a lot of his interactions with till show him doing things impulsively). his difficulty in forming intimate emotional connections with others, his lack of self worth and general lack of care for his own wellbeing, his fatalistic world view.

all of these are symptoms of aspd. im not going to pull out the dsm-5 (ew) because i hate the way it words things (love stigma against mentally ill folks), but all of the things i talked about go along with aspd, which is why i personally think ivan has it. a genetic predisposition, a fuckton of trauma in early childhood (qmeng refers to his time in the slums as a 'dark past') and onward through anakt and beyond, and his lack of emotional understanding. all of it lends itself to aspd. i think this adds a whole new level of understanding to ivan and his reasons for things and just. why he is the way he is. and figuring this out for myself made me love ivan all the more. all of the alnst characters are just traumatized kids who never learned how to live and be human and ivan having an even different baseline than most others put him even more at a disadvantage.

i just want to, like. give this guy therapy or at least make sure he knows that it’s not his fault that his mind works the way it does and there’s nothing wrong with it. and with that, i shall end it here LMAO. tysm rock for the ask ik i asked if you were okay with an essay but this is longer than i anticipated skxjsn i hope you liked it!! and if anyone has any other questions about aspd or npd ivan lmk personality disorders are one of my special interests i love talking about this stuff ajxnsn

[turtleblogatlast]

I think a lot about Leo’s tendency to push his way into the spotlight despite clearly being a natural in the shadows. Hell, you could argue that his worst moments are when he’s forcing himself onstage, and his best are when he does things no one notices until it’s already been done.

[animentality]

Pal. God-tier headcanons, all day long. Thank you!!

And if you feel like having your brain picked: do you have headcanons for their cipher(s)? Because the concept has me feral. Like, Gortash giving Durge a device, an absolute mess of dials to change corresponding characters, so they can change the cipher they use periodically to avoid detection? Like Durge waking up with it because Orin could never figure it out and never stole it? I NEED it

Ahhhhh thank you!

I'm mentally unstable about these two!!! I need psychiatric help!!

But anyway.

That is SUCH a cute idea.

First off, that those dorks would have a private code, for just the two of them, like ok, you're like schoolyard besties, speaking pig latin.

but SECONDLY, because I think the fact that they were communicating in such a complicated way is interesting.

Gortash is a clever guy, a scheming guy, who loves subterfuge and political connections. But I highly doubt he was sending encrypted messages to just anyone. He was just sending regular old letters to Franc Peartree and Avery Sonshal or just whoever.

His plan with the Dark Urge was definitely more evil, and wide reaching, and required the utmost care, but.

But also.

I think they respected each other so much because of their intelligence.

Gortash didn't expect a Bhaalspawn to be so clever.

He was probably such a goddamn geek with them.

We already know that Ketheric indulged his machinery obsessions, because of this letter in his room that basically says Gortash here's a weird toy, have fun with it.

But what if the Dark Urge really understood him in a way no one else could?

What if he could actually talk about his projects and his plans, and workshop stuff with the Dark Urge, who was unusually eloquent and perceptive for a Bhaalspawn?

And the cipher...it shows how the two of them could connect to each other in the way they never connected with others.

It's not like Gortash's letters to Ketheric were in a cipher.

Or at least, not that I recall. correct me anyone, if I'm wrong.

So to go back to your idea of them having it with them... that'd also be so cute because maybe they just throw it in their chest and say well idk what that is...but then they run into notes from gortash written in cipher.

and then you can find your letters to and from him in his house and translate...that the two of you were...."very close."

let your imagination go wild there too.

Like honestly...honestly...these two giggling schoolgirls and their secret journals...

nerds. NERDS.

[fallout-drabbles-n-stuff]

Kinda random but since scents are kind of my thing I have this headcanon that, as much as it is possible (..?), Deacon does everything in his power to not have much of a scent at all. There’s no distinct smell that he has, nothing that is “him”, so to say. He thinks so much into concealing his identity that even something like a particular scent would be possibly detrimental to his subterfuge.

[letmetellyouaboutmyfeels]

I know you didn't include the sugar baby au on the list but also pls tell me everything about the sugar baby au

Well first of all, @catdadeddie made me do it.

Second of all: Eddie is rich (we will get into how and why in the fic, shhh just take my hand and follow me on this adventure) and given his role has to go to a fair amount of social functions, especially since given [redacted plot stuff] he does some charity work as well.

And. Hey. Have you seen Eddie?

Gorgeous, single, with an adorable kid and money? They're swarming him like flies. So Eddie, with zero interest in dating and not wanting to explain the issue of Shannon, hires someone to come to functions with him.

Enter Buck.

I headcanon, and have since the beginning, that Buck and Maddie have trust funds. It's the only way they can afford all that they do on their salaries, and it especially makes sense in how Maddie got away from Doug and it took him so long to track her. The number one reason abuse victims cannot leave is a lack of finances. They don't have the money, and any money they do have, their spouse can track (like a credit card in a joint account). Maddie being able to get across country without Doug knowing where she was until he resulted to subterfuge, and her ability to rent an apartment and buy a security system, speaks to an independent form of wealth, but nurses do not make that much and Doug, while rich as a surgeon, would not have let her have her own money. Ergo, a trust fund.

So in this fic, Buck does not have a trust fund, and needs extra cash. And hey, he's pretty, he's great company, he's already having a ton of sex - why not enter a sugar baby arrangement?

And when he meets Eddie? Oh. Fuck yes. Christmas came early.

Except apparently there will be no 'coming' because Eddie... just wants... it platonic...?

Cue Eddie falling in love, panicking about taking advantage of Buck and the power imbalance, and Buck desperately trying to make it clear he wants in Eddie's pants yesterday except uh oops he's also catching feelings.

Mwahaha.

[noirandchocolate]

Headcanons About My Master Kohga’s Mama—

Named Hotaru (“firefly”), as I’ve mentioned on a few past posts. Her family has a tradition of insect names. Not everybody in the line has had one, but it’s common enough among them that if you read Clan records and notice somebody named after an insect it’s very likely to be an ancestor of hers.

Was adept at making and then administering poisons, both via subterfuge in food, drink, touches, etc., and via daggers and kunai. She studied under the Clan’s master apothecary for the poison making part. Kohga’s father was one of her mentors on the stabbing people part.

In fact, one of her earliest flirts with Kohga’s Dad (while his own mother was Master), was to, after bringing him over a bowl of food in the Complex’s dining hall, watch him take a few bites and then claim she poisoned it “to see if the stories of the Heir having an uncannily strong constitution were true.” Dad panicked, then laughed his ass off when he realized she was joking. That was what clinched his interest in her romantically.

Hotaru had very long, wavy hair (for real, not as part of her usual magic disguise, although I do not know at this time if it was really black or if that was disguised) and was very meticulous about caring for it. Around the Complex (ie not on missions when she was younger), she’d often have it done up in complicated styles and decorated with hair sticks/pins and kanzashi.

She’s responsible for Kohga’s extensive skin- and hair-care regimes. She washed her lil’ boy’s hair and showed him how to finger-comb and -curl it into pretty, neatly flowing coils and then wrap it up in the style he still does today. <3

I’ve said this before but Hotaru was a musician! She’s the one who taught Koh to play shamisen. She also taught him traditional Ancient Sheikah calligraphy. In general, she was big on preserving Yiga culture and traditions. She was an avid reader too and would go slip into Gerudo Town in disguise to buy (or, yknow, steal) books. If you gave her a good novel as a present she’d be your friend for life.

Very competitive player of the Yiga equivalent of Go. When Nana Master Kohga noticed her son taking an interest in Hotaru, she near-immediately rushed to arrange for them to marry. But not before inviting the girl to play a match against her so they could chat about her interest level. Hotaru won, impressing Nana, and declared that if there was anyone who could rein in the rambunctious Heir and be a good match for him, it would surely be someone who could best the Master herself in a contest of strategy, yes?

As a teen and young adult going out on missions, she liked to make up stories about the Hylians and others she and her comrades spied on or saw at stables/in towns. And then she’d sometimes go up to these people and use her disarming way with words to find out if she was right!

She loved foxes! Especially snowcoat foxes found up in the Highlands. Whenever she met up with any fox, if she had food on her she’d toss it a bit, and even if she didn’t, she’d gesture it a greeting. She was a quite stealthy girl, and she loved getting as close as possible to a pretty perfect white snowcoat whenever possible!

Once killed a target she wasn’t strictly supposed to have, because he tried to put hands on her. Upon reporting to her Blademaster superior, she recited the information she’d gotten and then remarked that she “also learned that he was a lech, and that leches die easily.” She did not get in trouble for killing him.

Almost never raised her voice and felt strongly about maintaining decorum even when she was joking or…well, killing people. As I said in the second linked post up there, she did not use swear words under any circumstances! Now, creative curses were another thing though. Imagine a petite, beautiful woman saying, in an even and possibly mildly sweet tone, “May you be dissolved in the stomach acid of a Molduga” after you take the last dumpling she wanted.

If it’s not obvious already, Hotaru had a dry wit and a saucy sense of humor. She was a master of one-liners. But she was fiercely loving toward her family and the Clan. She was the friend who’d tease you about not being able to handle spicy food but then who’d warn you sincerely if a certain dish in the day’s lineup at the hall had peppers in it. She was good at remembering details about people and asking after them and giving appropriate gifts on birthdays, things like that. As the Clan’s Mistress, that made her a very unifying figure.

She sadly died of what was probably a form of cancer, just shy of a year after her son’s ascension to the Master position. She was only 50. Every year on the anniversary of her passing, Kohga goes to her altar in the Clan’s hall of ancestors and plays some of their favorite songs for her, and at least one new one each time. <3 <3