#suicide tw maybe

[a-star-that-fell]

Maybe you should talk to somebody / Somebody begging you not to die / isn't the same as telling you how to live / but I can see you're not gonna listen to me / even if I'm loud / I know all of your nuance / I see you every single day; / I wanna keep it that way

relatable content anon

[aeiou]

shit like this is my 13th reason

[sammy-the-dead-dumpster]

I mean, listen.

This death wouldn't hurt so much if it weren't for:

-Toga committing suicide -Toga committing suicide in an exceedingly preventable way -Toga committing suicide because she felt like she wasn't meant for this society and like she had no other options, which nobody disavowed, not even Uraraka directly -So many other characters with way worse odds surviving (like Bakugou, Nagant, Edgeshot?? Dabi???) -Seriously, why did she have to die? Let her be comatose, at least?? -Hawks being all like, 'Yeah, I shouldn't have killed Twice, the villains shouldn't have to die' -Hawks being nearby at the time, right? And of the same damn blood type? -Anyone willing to help nearby, actually -Didn't they put her on the helicopter? You're telling me that Dabi survived the stretcher ride, but not Toga? -It being. so preventable. not like Dabi's path toward destruction, or Shigaraki turning his body into a vessel for a greater evil. she was just a girl who was helping someone she'd hurt. and didn't need to give up all her blood to do it. -She didn't need to give up all her blood to do it. (Bakugou survived worse. Uraraka would've been fine.) -Her being seventeen -Her death feeling so meaningless, as the theming could have been accomplished by Shigaraki's death alone, except as a conduit for Izuku and Ochako to hold hands together. Which stings. My film professor would be completely unsurprised. -Bury Your Gays -Bury Your Unconventional Love Interests (thanks, film professor!) -the frustrating positive tone of some parts of the epilogue, with no real address of the character's failures and emotional struggles -Not even Uraraka gets to monologue about what this means for her future? Izuku's just slapping an emotional bandage on this? Really? -What even is Izuku's characterization right now? -Is Shoto really the only one who more or less Saved, in addition to Winning?

[trans-axolotl]

content note: discussion of suicide.

this next monday will be the six year anniversary of losing one of my friends to suicide.

when he died, my high school barely mentioned his death, even though for other students who died by things like car crashes or illness, there were so many public expressions of grief. they believed that having any memorials for a student who died by suicide would encourage other people to die the same way. in their rush to erase the circumstances of his death, they erased the memory of his life.

there are so many things i am angry at that high school about in terms of how they treated mental health (mandatory reporting and collaborating with cops, their refusal to recognize the ways in which that system led to peer-to-peer crisis support, their refusal to recognize the ways that trying to keep each other alive through trial and error was scary and exhausting, carceral disciplinary policies, etc etc etc). but i think one of the things i am still angriest about is the way they enforced shame around his death. it felt like they were retroactively blaming him for the constellation of circumstances that made suicide an option in his life. it felt like they were blaming those of us who missed him and cared about him and wanted to grieve him. it made those of us still there who were actively suicidal feel even more scared about the reaction if we did reach out for help from one of those mythical safe adults.

as an adult now involved in psych abolition/mad liberation work, it makes me so fucking mad to see the ways in which he was discarded by people in authority positions. and the older i get, the more options i have found in my life for making sense of the world and finding healing and community and support which were never available to him because he died when he was 16 and the only things offered to him were a carceral psychiatric system that blamed him for his own fucking death. it feels so incredibly unfair.

i miss him and i think i always will; i can't remember his laugh or the sound of his voice or his favorite color any more and that aches. this grief is so heavy and it feels harder in a new way each year, when i become older than he will ever be. sometimes meeting new comrades or seeing new anticarceral suicide support models hurts because i wish so fucking bad that we had that back then. i remember how close we came to losing even more people that year and i know it is simple fucking luck that i'm still here when he's not.

i remember another letter (never sent) that i wrote to a friend while they were in an ICU bed after a suicide attempt when i didn't know if they would live or not. i have spent so much time in the past 10 years begging for anything to keep me and my friends alive, but even in that letter i knew that there is so much fucking violence that is hidden beneath psychiatric logics of cure and safety that promise a "solution" to suicide. I knew that institutionalization, coercion, and shame would not have helped build a life more liveable for him or **** or any of the people i've loved and lost since.

there needs to be more fucking options for care and support that aren't so incredibly cruel to suicidal people. i know so many people doing incredible work in alternatives, peer respite, a million different frameworks for healing and liberation. but it makes me so mad every day i have to live in a world where there are still people restrained, locked up in psych wards, having all autonomy and personhood taken away from them. knowing there are dozens of people every day getting blamed for their deaths the same way he was blamed for his.

i miss him. i cared so fucking much for him. and he died by suicide, and all of those things are true. he has been dead for 6 years and he lived before that and the people who loved him want to remember all of him; our celebrations of his life should not require hiding the way that he died.

Image description: [1000 origami cranes in all different colors and patterns that are tied together in strings of 25]

(these were the 1000 cranes we made to give to his parents, in memorial and recognition of how much he meant to us.)

[cloudyydraws]

more saiki stuff

[uncanny-tranny]

I've talked before about how the way people treat suicide can be unintentionally devastating to the suicidal person, but I don't think I really ever said how to avoid that.

Speaking about suicide in how selfish it "is" ("think about how you'll transfer your pain to your loved ones!") might seem like a way to put logical sense into the suicidal person, but, honestly? It runs the risk of massively increasing their shame and guilt about being suicidal. Suicide is not inherently a revenge fantasy or a way to "get back" at someone's loved ones, so when the suicidal person is treated like a criminal of a "crime" they haven't even committed yet, you can imagine how unhelpful that can become.

Instead, if you want to point out how cherished your person is, frame their relationships as something they can keep fostering.

"Your cat will miss you :(!!!!" becomes "you and your cat seem close, right? I'm sure it's beautiful having a close friend like that!" and maybe include ways that they and their cat are close and meaningful to each other, tailored to that relationship.

That's only one example, but when you shift the focus away from why that person should repent and feel guilty for being suicidal, you can instead focus on why they would live for that reason. See how you can frame that as a positive? Whatever is keeping that person tethered should never be used as a bludgeon, I think, because then you're taking away why they're living, the positivity of why they are here. Whatever they are here for should be remembered often and honoured.

[chiliger]

This was actually the first comic I sketched of this series.

[raining-its-pouring]

Not a Pebbles hater not a Pebbles lover but a secret third thing.

What he did he did out of complete and utter desperation. There was no noble intent, there was no malice, there was just the need to get out. To break the cycle he was trapped in, damn the consequences. Of course he acted rashly when he thought he found the key to ascending. (Not dying, mind you, he wanted to use the state of death in the cycle to tap into ascension. He didn’t - necessarily - want to die, but it was, in his mind, one of the necessary steps for iterators to take if they wanted to ascend.)

To be clear, there was no evidence that it would work. Just the speculations of a bunch of desperate people trying to escape a thankless situation. And Pebbles was so desperate he was willing to gamble it all, including his and Moon’s wellbeing, on those speculations.

On a slightly different note I do think there’s a weird snobbery that people have ABOUT rain world weirdly? That there’s this idea that applying real world stuff like suicide and whatnot is stupid bc this world is intentionally alien. But while I think Ascension isn’t death, I think the ideology of both the Ancients and the Sliverists can be seriously read as an allegory for depression and suicide.

We don’t know what Ascension is. I think far too many people write off that it’s inherently bad, when no where in canon is that a given. But we don’t know if it’s inherently good either, that’s just a desperate hope of the Ancients and Five Pebbles. They hope that whatever the next step is, it won’t be the living hell they seem to be in here.

My interpretation is that it’s just another step. It can be whatever the individual (if there is still a sense of identity to retain,) makes of it, and that happiness isn’t an inherent factor of it, but neither is unhappiness.

And that’s where I think the allegory can apply really well. Five Pebbles and the Ancients (at least the ones who left the biggest impact behind) are deeply, deeply unhappy. And I’d argue for good reason - theoretical immortality sounds, in my opinion, awful.

But Five Pebbles is one of the youngest iterators we see. Moon is one of the oldest. She seems to be content with her situation. And perhaps this is her folly - and I’d argue it is, a little - but I’d also argue that Five Pebbles does not try many other alternatives (that we know of) before deciding the problem is this stage of the cycle itself. That it’s out of his hands, because this existence- this stage- must be an inherent unhappy one. From there it’s not the biggest leap to deciding that the answer is to force his way into the next one as soon as possible, without seeing if he can carve a space for himself in this one. And I think that’s a very real parallel to a lot of people with suicidal ideation.

I think it also has something interesting to say in that regard. There’s a lot of argument around depression and suicide, specifically around “if the situation is bad enough and there’s no end in sight, how much does ‘changing your thinking’ really help the situation?” To which there is near endless debate. And to which I think the iterators situation is an interesting (and deliberate) wrinkle in the allegory tying into that.

It’s just one reading of it, and I think there are many more. But my point is that there is a very real, very canon-based reading there. And I’d like it if people stopped acting like it’s a misrepresentation of the text.

[tinyperson00]

total time: 4 hours, 50 minutes

If this gets at least 150 likes, I’ll draw a comic/animation of Chuuya finding Dazai and rescuing him :3

sooo- yea;-; Dazai is having a great time! Honestly I feel like this doesn’t look amazing, but if you hold it up from afar it looks decent •v•

no, I will never stop torturing Dazai like this.

tagging: @kimetsu-chan @zenitsustherapist @exymybeloved @saffron0v0 @a-stray-wretched-dog

@ray-aero

speed paint:

[theloveinc]

Which BNHA guys do you think try to eat ur ass first time you guys fuck?

My man Kiri has a dick so fat that he's beyond prepared and, in fact, READY to put all his effort into foreplay because he knows that schlong isn't going anywhere without a little prep beforehand.

The first time you fuck, clothes only just having been removed, he mentions foreplay and it's kinda funny because you don't expect such a... manly, big, jock-type looking guy to mean more than just fingering you for a minute or so. You practically think he's joking about it when you're moving to lay down, except -- suddenly he's flipping you right over to press your head into his pillow (gently) so he can eat you out in doggy. From there, it only takes about three or so licks before he's trying to stick his tongue in your ass.

-

Deku... wants to be classy and take things slow SO badly, yet... can't help himself if he's eating you out (which he does on the first date because... classy or not, he's a gentleman who gives head) and is putting his tongue everywhere it can reach.

Especially in your ass, given that he's somehow able to get your knees besides your cheeks with how seriously he gets into it.

-

And Dabi, without question, of course (which gives us Shoto by extension, probably because this asshole told him you can't give head without eating ass, but... whatever, given the circumstances of their relationship)!!!

He's just not about to waste his time going down on you if he isn't able to cover all bases; that means clit, hole, taint, AND rim. PERIOD. Another guy who manages to fold you in half so well you practically can't stand up straight up again, after. He might be a jackass but he's not a slacker when it comes to top.

I also feel like if you told Dabs he was bad at eating cat he'd add that to the list of reasons to k-himself. King.

[a-star-that-fell]

not to sound stereotypical but i have to stay until mcr5 drops

[pollsnatural]

*- do it in 13x06.

**braggin about (sorry didn't notice this before posting)

Cas poll, Sam polll, spn women poll

[zeb-z]

There’s something so important about Gillion - who never heals himself, who rushes into danger, who hides his wounds- facing death and realizing he isn’t unafraid as he was raised to be. He uses his magic on himself to help with the exhaustion, to keep his life intact. And still he tries to comfort Jay and Chip while he’s coherent, being realistic about his chances but refusing to make it painful. Wanting their possible last moments to be light, to be about seemingly inconsequential things, small favorites that still mean the world to him purely because they’re Chip and Jay’s favorites. And then when all is said and done, he makes a raccoon for Jay. He talks about raspberries for Chip. He uses his last saved up arcane energy to try desperately to stay awake, and it works, and it saves him in the final hour.

It’s just. There’s something about how he hasn’t had a chance to rest since the Feywild, really, truly rest. How this whole time he’s been down on himself and taking extreme risks. And now, at what might be the end of it all, he realizes he doesn’t want to die. He wants to live. And not to be able to save others, not to fulfill his destiny, not out of obligation to anyone else - but purely for himself. For all the little things. And though it’s not quite healing in the literal term, his nearly final act was spent trying to save himself - and it worked.

[revenantghost]

Friendly reminder that this child is one (1) years old

[the-real-list-of-ominous-threats]

I'm going to have it so that next time you scroll your favorite tag, some absolutely hideous and insane s*icide bait pops up tagged in leetspeak so your blacklist doesn't catch it

[albobeati7]

I genuinely hope you kill yourself you will not be missed. There's no point for you to be around anymore. Get fucked and die