#swiftly analysis

[goldrushenthusiast]

crazy how august (the song) is called august because it was all they had. even crazier how we call her august because we don’t know her name and that’s all we have of her. the month was never hers and she’s never ours—or James’—because we only know her as August.

Betty’s song (cardigan) talks about Betty and barely mentions August, and James’ song (betty) talks about James and Betty and barely mentions August. She’s nothing but a memory to them so that’s all she is to us. Even August’s song (august) is barely about August. It’s about August AND James. How James affects August. What August thought about their relationship. That’s IT.

It’s just fascinating to realize how forgotten/unnoticed August is, even in her own world.

[taco-rambles]

DC XDP prompt: Danny falls out of a portal literally into Batmans arms in a JL meeting.

Feel free to play with this. I probably will write more, but I'm STUCK and don't know how to write the JL or anyone else for that matter.

XXX

The Justice League meeting had gone very well. For once there were no major crisis from anyone attending, and all of the regular members of the league were in attendance. A few of the second row hero’s had begged off for one reason or another, but nothing that was a threat of any real kind.

Batman was wary, and on edge as the meeting wrapped up. It was never this simple, it just couldn’t be. There was always some kind of threat to keep an eye on, but the worst thing that had come up during the meeting were routine security updates.

No one else seemed to be on edge from the far too calm, routine meeting, and Bruce had just about convinced himself that it was really just one of those meetings where nothing outrageous would happen. It was ideal even…

Then the alarms went off, in the specific modulation that indicated a magical incursion.

Batman wasn’t the only one who’s hands went to weapons when the portal materialized above the meeting room table only a moment after the alarm went off. Swirling lazarus green had him ready for the fight even as the rest of the league went into defensive positions around the incursion.

“What…” Flash started to ask about a minute later when nothing had happened yet, the alarms still blaring.

That’s when something came flying out of the portal, at speed, back first.

Batman had a split second to decide to attack… or not. A split second to try to process the impressions and decide if this was an attack.

The portal closed as he cradled the small body that had crashed into his arms, the alarms silencing a moment later as the rest of the league tried to catch up, all of them wondering if this was some new threat.

Batman looked down at the child in his arms, a boy in his mid teens and small for his age, with white hair framing a frighteningly familiar looking face, gently pointed ears, and fangs in a mouth that gasped for breath against pain. The eyes were closed, twisted tight as the child clutched at his chest and belly, holding together severed flesh that leaked lazarus green blood from a clinical and too regular wound. Fingers tipped with small claws spasmed, tears coming from closed eyes.

“Batman?” Wonder Woman asked, Diana’s voice filled with concern as Bruce wrapped the child in his arms and stood up from where he had been knocked on his ass catching said child.

“Call down to medical. Severely wounded unknown,” he snapped, moving towards the door, only to stop as there was a flash of light in his arms, and the child suddenly gained a solid weight that was closer to human. The blood dripping from passed out hands was now brilliant red, fingertips blunt with chewed nails, the boy’s skin going from pale white to… a healthier tone.

Bruce consciously stopped cataloging his observations then, swiftly making his way to medical. Whatever this boy was, whether he intended to tug at Batman’s heart the way he was or not, was severely wounded and needed medical attention immediately.

He could process it all, and wonder why a child looking exactly like Damian Wayne had been thrown into his arms through a lazarus portal later.

XXXXX

An hour later, after a discreet call to his youngest just to be sure, Bruce watched the now sedated child in the medical cot, working on trying to face match the databases and find out if the child came from earth or not.

The searches primarily turned up Damian Wayne. Bruce knew for certain this child was not his son, but he was also running a DNA analysis because this Might be his son. It made a disheartening amount of sense for this boy to be another version of Damien, perhaps from another dimension, or some manner of clone, or perhaps Talia had simply hidden another child of his away… Bruce needed to narrow down the possibilities, to find the truth.

Of course, it was equally possible that this boy was some manner of mimic, taking on a form that would ensure his safety in unknown environment, a shape shifter intentionally injuring himself in order to infiltrate the Watchtower. Though that last theory didn’t make sense for a number of reasons. Most shape shifters would be secure enough in their abilities to simply try to mimic someone who already had access to the watch tower, to say nothing of the boy’s dramatic entrance.

Batman wasn’t thinking logically. Bruce couldn’t simply leave the boy here though. Not until he knew more, everything relevant by preference. The thought that this might be his son in any way was enough to keep him near, but he could already tell he was compromised.

He had already informed Diana and Clark, and both of them had agreed that he should stay nearby until they had the situation sorted out.

Bruce had been stuck in a circular though pattern for about fifteen minutes when a green form came into the room, J’onn looking at him calmly.

“Can you find anything out?” Batman asked without preamble, unable to bring himself to observe polite pleasantries when he was so unsettled.

“Nothing beyond surface thoughts. The boy’s mind is static and pain of the emotional kind,” J’onn stated after a moment.

Batman nodded, accepting the answer. J’onn’s abilities weren’t always the answer to everything, could indeed often be a crutch that led to the wrong answers. But they could also give the Justice League a starting point often enough.

“You should rest friend. It is unlikely that the boy will awaken soon…” J’onn cut himself off with a quiet look at the boy. “Or not. He’s coming around.”

Batman watched as the child’s eyes blinked open, drowsy expression turning to the two heros without much recognition. Bruce didn’t let himself react, kept himself in a calm pose even as his mind once more went into overdrive.

The boy had blue eyes, not green like Damian's.

[fullscoreshenanigans]

#it was clear from the beginning this girl is INSANE #but this proves that she really will use any means necessary to accomplish her goal #as long as she’s the only one who has to suffer for it she doesn’t gaf #when you’re desperate not to turn into your mother and end up just like her anyway #how humbling it must have been to discover that she was actually the one who was weak #that Ray’s tendency to make fast decisions but give up just as easily comes from her #and her attempts to break Emma only fortified her resolve #and poor Emma. poor poor poor Emma. to still have so much love for the person who hurt her the most. #punching furniture and eating asphalt about it (via @emmaspolaroid)

I have the capacity to be normal about it. But I won’t.

[gotham-at-nightfall]

Successor Chapter Masters

Black Dragons The Black Dragons is one of the Loyalist Space Marine Chapters created during the “Cursed” 21st Founding; its gene-seed is suspected of having originated with the Salamanders. It was censured by the Inquisition due to the mutation of the Black Dragons’ gene-seed, which causes certain Astartes of the Chapter to develop blade-like outgrowths of bone on the head and forearms.

Exorcists The Exorcists are a highly unusual Loyalist Chapter of Space Marines created during the 13th Founding, the so-called “Dark Founding” which occurred sometime between the 35th and 36th Millennia, before the start of the Age of Apostasy. The true identity of their progenitors are known only to the highest-ranking members of the Ordo Malleus, and details of their creation have been placed under Inquisitorial seal, though it is widely accepted that they were raised from the genetic lineage of Rogal Dorn, and share many of the stoic traits of other Imperial Fists successors.

Soul Drinkers The Soul Drinkers were a Renegade Chapter of Space Marines declared Excommunicate Traitoris by the Inquisition because of their extremely high levels of mutation and obvious corruption by Chaos, yet the Soul Drinkers still considered themselves to be loyal to the Emperor of Mankind, if not to His Imperium. The Soul Drinkers originally believed themselves to be a Second Founding Successor Chapter of the Imperial Fists Legion, only for the Chapter’s Astartes to later learn to their shock after an analysis of their gene-seed by the Apothecaries of the Angels Sanguine that they were actually of unknown origin and Founding.

Lamenters The Lamenters are an unfortunate Loyalist Chapter of Space Marines which, perhaps more than any other Chapter of the present era, seems to have been cursed by a dark shadow that has long determined its fate. The Lamenters’ accursed and haunted legacy seems to have tainted much of what they have achieved and their victories often become bitter ashes in their hands.

Wolfspears The Wolfspear is a Loyalist Space Marine Chapter comprised entirely of Primaris Space Marines, created from the lineage of the Space Wolves and raised during the Ultima Founding of ca. 999.M41. Like their ancestral Chapter, the Wolfspear do not conform to the dictates of the Codex Astartes, but instead make use of many of the same customs and organisational designations as the Space Wolves. The Wolfspear’s intimidating pack-hunting tactics permeate every strategic strata of their Chapter combat doctrine. Packs of stealthy killers swiftly destroy the enemy’s vanguard, squadrons of swift vehicles encircle macro-cities, and prowling rapid-strike vessels gut larger spacecraft in the void.

Dark Hunters The Dark Hunters is a Loyalist Codex Astartes-compliant Space Marine Chapter descended from the gene-seed of the White Scars during an unknown Founding. The Dark Hunters hail from the Night World of Phobian, and ever since the Dellrond Campaign, where a single Dark Hunters Battle Company held the entrance to the Cathedral of the Emperor Ossified for five Terran years against the Orks of WAAAGH! Nagrut, the Chapter has had a reputation for being particularly hardy and resolute warriors.

Guardians of the Covenant The Guardians of the Covenant is a Loyalist Space Marine Chapter and a Successor Chapter of the Dark Angels, thus making it one of the Chapters that comprise the Unforgiven. It is not known from what Founding the Guardians of the Covenant came, only that they too are descendants of the original Dark Angels Legion.

Raptors The Raptors is a Loyalist Space Marine Chapter and a Second Founding successor of the Raven Guard. It has been heavily involved in many of the most recent campaigns of the Imperium of Man, including the Badab War, the Third War for Armageddon and the Taros Campaign.

Mortifactors The Mortifactors is a Loyalist, Codex Astartes-compliant Second Founding Successor Chapter of the Ultramarines, making it one of the Ultramarines’ Primogenitors. The Mortifactors recruited from the austere Feral World of Posul, where the sun never rises on its frigid plains and its population of nomadic tribes are constantly in conflict with one another and practice cannibalism.

By L J Koh

[yvesssssssss]

Heyyy! How are you?

I have a request for Hoshina and I'm ready to get on my knees bc I def need to read more of this idea, the thing is:

Reader (a platoon leader) went on a mission and Hoshina, her boyfriend, stayed in the control room to check on the mission, before the operators found an extra heartbeat in her suit, confused, Okonogi would check on her and there they'd find out (including Hoshina) that reader was pregnant. And Hoshina would confront her why hadn't she told him before.

You can decide if reader already knew she was pregnant or not ^^ (pd: take your time and ignore my english, it's not my native language)

Heartbeat

Hello!! I hope you like it!! (Good morning˙ᵕ˙)

The mission had gone as expected—almost. The kaiju threat in District 8 had been neutralized swiftly under your command. You moved like a ghost through the wreckage, katana sheathed, uniform slick with grime and sweat. Your subordinates reported back with minimal injuries. Clean, efficient.

Textbook work.

Except for one thing.

Back in the control room, Hoshina stood with arms crossed, eyes narrowed at the screen, following your vitals in real-time. His posture was relaxed to the untrained eye, but Okonogi knew better. Hoshina hadn’t taken his eyes off your line for even a second. Not since you left the gate.

“Platoon Leader's suit readings are normal,” an operator muttered. “Slight elevation in heart rate, but that’s expected…”

Then, a beep. Followed by confusion.

“Wait—there’s… another heartbeat?”

The room paused. Even Hoshina tilted forward slightly.

“Another signature in the suit?” Okonogi asked, already tapping away at the data. “Could be an error. Glitch in the sensors maybe.”

“No,” Hoshina said, voice suddenly sharper. “Run it again. Full analysis. Pull the internal suit diagnostics.”

The monitor adjusted. The second heartbeat was faint but steady. Smaller. Softer. Not a kaiju. Not anything artificial.

“...It’s coming from inside her,” Okonogi said slowly. Then he blinked. “It’s… it’s a fetal heartbeat.”

Everything froze.

Hoshina stared at the monitor. At the data. At your name. Then, for the first time that day, he moved—fast.

“Keep her on the line. I’m heading to the bay."

⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁.𖥔 ݁ ˖

You were peeling off your suit when the door opened—and there he was.

Hoshina.

Your heart jumped. Despite everything—despite the nerves in your stomach and the quiet conversation with the medic—you couldn’t help the way your feet moved toward him, your lips tugging into a relieved, affectionate smile.

“You’re here,” you said softly, crossing the room to him.

But he didn’t smile.

He didn’t reach for you.

He stood still, his jaw tight, shoulders tense as he looked at you—not with relief, but with something sharper. Quieter. Controlled.

“So…” he said, voice low, unreadable, “I’m guessing you found out I know.”

You blinked, the joy in your chest faltering. “Hoshina—”

“Through suit diagnostics,” he cut in. “Through Okonogi.”

You flinched at that.

“That wasn’t how I wanted you to find out,” you murmured.

“Wasn’t how I wanted to find out either.”

The room hung heavy with the silence between you. The medic, eyes wide, silently excused herself, leaving you both alone.

Hoshina took a step forward now. Controlled. Careful. Still holding something back.

“You knew?” he asked. “How long?”

You swallowed. “About two weeks.”

His eyes searched yours. Hurt—hidden under the surface—started to show.

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

You looked down.

“I didn’t want to distract you. We’re in the middle of a war. I didn’t want to be… a burden.”

That word hit like a knife. You felt it the moment it landed.

He didn’t lash out. Hoshina never did. But his breath left him like he’d been punched.

“You think… that’s what this is? A burden?”

“I didn’t want to make you choose,” you whispered. “Between me and the field. Or between command and—this.”

“Damn it, (Y/N),” he said, and this time, it cracked—the worry, the anger, the rawness. “You’re not a distraction. You’re not a burden. And that’s my kid too.”

You kept your eyes down, voice barely audible. “I was scared.”

“Of what?”

“Of this. Of you looking at me like I’m something fragile. Something broken.”

He stepped in, slowly now, as if letting himself soften again. His hand came up, gently cupping your cheek.

“I don’t see you as fragile,” he said. “I see you as the woman I love. Who walked into a battlefield with my child inside her and still came out leading her team.”

Tears pricked at your eyes. Your throat felt tight.

“So you’re not mad?”

“I’m mad you didn’t trust me with this,” he admitted. “But I’m more scared. Scared of what could’ve happened out there without me knowing.”

“I didn’t want to slow anyone down.”

“Next time,” he said firmly, “you tell me. We carry this together. You don’t have to do it alone.”

You finally looked into his eyes—and you saw the flicker of something softer now. Hope. Fear. Love.

“I never planned for this,” you whispered.

“Neither did I,” he said, brushing a lock of hair behind your ear. “But I want it. I want you. Both of you.”

You fell into him, arms around his waist as he held you close, grounding you.

His hand rested lightly over your stomach.

“I’m staying in the control room from now on,” he muttered into your hair. “You don’t get to go off doing solo runs without telling me you’re carrying our future.”

You laughed, half-choked, half-teary. “Deal.”

[justaparsec94]

Company

Summary: You're put in charge of keeping an eye on Tech while he's recovering from his broken leg. The job turns out to be not at all what you were expecting.

Pairing: Tech x Reader

Word Count: 4,941

Author's Note: I've had this posted on my AO3 account for a while but I just had so much fun writing it that I thought I would share it here too!

***************

“I still like mantell mix the best,” Omega said thoughtfully as the two of you made your way through the busy streets of Ord Mantell back towards Cid’s. You each were carrying a bag of a somewhat unidentifiable treat you had picked up from one of the local vendors. The two of you, plus Wrecker when he wasn’t otherwise occupied, were on a mission to try all of the local snacks Ord Mantell had to offer and so far you had put a fairly large dent in the local offerings. 

“I agree,” You said with a nod as you swiftly sidestepped a few drunken men leaving a nearby bar, even with all of the other noise their voices cut through the evening obnoxiously. Out of habit, you put your hand on Omega’s shoulder, pulling her closer to your side protectively as you continued on your way,  “This is good, but it just doesn’t cut it.” 

“What do you think it is, exactly?” Omega asked, holding a piece up in front of her face, inspecting it. 

“That is a very good question,” You replied with a laugh. Perhaps the two of you should have been more careful about what you were eating but there was something fun about throwing all caution to the wind when it came to snacks. You just hoped it wasn’t something too horrible.

“Maybe we should get Tech to run an analysis on it,” Omega suggested as Cid’s came into view.

“Good idea,” You said with another laugh. Though your laugh was cut short by the sight that greeted the two of you. Simultaneously you pulled to a stop to watch the scene unfold. 

Echo and Wrecker were supporting, or perhaps dragging was a better word, a very disgruntled-looking Tech towards Cid’s as Hunter trailed along behind them. 

“This is completely unnecessary,” Tech said, sounding very much like an angry Tooka as his brothers pulled him along with them. He appeared to be doing his best to resist their movement but with only one good leg he wasn’t very successful against his two very strong brothers. 

You leaned closer to Omega and whispered to her, “Do you want to take a guess what this is about?” 

Omega seemed to ponder the scene for a moment before she opened her mouth to reply but whatever she had been about to say was cut off by Hunter speaking. 

“You need to rest, Tech,” Hunter replied drily, “That’s an order.” 

“Are we going on another mission?” Omega asked suddenly springing into action and closing the gap between herself and her brothers. 

“Yes, we-“ Hunter started but was cut off by Tech once more. 

“I am perfectly capable of flying the ship in this condition,” He protested. For most, a broken femur would have been debilitating, Tech, on the other hand, seemed to take it as a challenge. In the few days they had been back you had lost count of the number of times you had found him doing something he definitely should not have been doing with such a serious injury. Just that morning you had found him underneath the control panel of The Marauder tinkering away on something. How he had managed to get down to the floor when he could barely move his leg was still a mystery to you. 

Hunter shot him a look that clearly indicated that there was no negotiating, “Rest.”

“C’mon Tech, just take it easy for a bit,” Wrecker joined in, “We’ll be back in no time and you’ll be ready for the next one!”

Echo and Wrecker didn’t let him even start protesting and with a good-natured chuckle from Wrecker they disappeared through the door of Cid’s. Omega bounced after them as you approached Hunter. 

“You had to physically remove him from The Marauder?” Though it really wasn’t much of a question. Clearly, Tech had not been happy about the decision to leave him behind. 

“Stubborn di’kut,” Hunter grumbled but there was such fondness in his eyes that his words were meaningless. The two of you made your way into the bar, which as per usual was nearly empty except for Cid and the regulars. You watched as Wrecker and Echo hauled Tech towards the back, Cid following along behind grumbling darkly before you turned your attention back to the Sergeant beside you. 

“Where are we off to this time?” You asked as you popped the last of your mystery snack into your mouth.

Hunter instantly looked sheepish which made your brow furrow as you frowned at him. He lifted his hand to rub absently at the back of his neck, “Uh, actually, we were hoping you would stay behind this time around.”

“But I stayed behind last time!” You protested, you knew your voice was coming out whiny, but you didn’t care at the moment, “And you needed me!” You and Tech were the only two members of the squad with decent medical training and given that Tech had been the one who was injured it had truly been the one time you could have been helpful and yet you had been back on Ord Mantell, working in a back alley medical clinic that Cid had her grubby hands in. You didn’t necessarily enjoy working there, especially since it was profiting off of injured and ill people, but your time there was helping to pay off the considerable debt the batch had with Cid. 

“We’re just going on a simple supply drop-off. We shouldn’t be gone more than a few hours,” Hunter replied, still looking chastised at your annoyance. 

“Why me?” You asked, “I know I’m not the most skilled member of the squad but I can’t be that much of a dud.” 

Hunter shook his head, but you didn’t miss the small smirk that had settled on his lips, “It has nothing to do with that. You’re an excellent member of this team. It’s just, we need someone to keep an eye on Tech and he likes you so we thought you might have a better chance of getting him to listen to you.” 

You frowned, well, that was news to you. Sure, the two of you got along well when he wasn’t being so well, Tech-ish, but there had always been a tension that you had felt between the two of you. Since the day you had been assigned to them, you had felt as though he was always testing your abilities, as though you weren’t good enough for the squad and he was set on proving it. There always seemed to be something you could do better or something you didn’t know the answer to. It had always bothered you because deep down you desperately wanted his approval. Despite his tendency to be somewhat arrogant and overly pragmatic you truly liked him. He was so smart and charming in his own unique way. You liked his calm nature and dry wit. And when the topic wasn’t what you were doing incorrectly you enjoyed listening to him chat about whatever came into his mind, you found his facts interesting even when everyone else scoffed at him. You also couldn’t deny that you found him incredibly attractive but that was buried deep and likely a confession that would never see the light of day. It was clear that whatever you felt for him was one-sided. 

“I don’t think that’s true…” You replied to Hunter, the frown on your face deepening as you looked at him. 

“It is,” Hunter said with a nod, there was an indistinguishable look in his eyes that you didn’t like but it was gone nearly as quickly as it appeared, “You’ll keep an eye on him?” 

You sighed as you crossed your arms over your chest. Hunter chuckled softly at your look, “It appears I don’t have much of a choice… but I’ll try my best,” It was as much of a promise you could give when it came to Tech. You knew that you would likely find him doing something he shouldn’t be within an hour of the rest of the Batch departing. 

“Thank you,” Hunter said, resting a gentle hand on your shoulder just as Echo and Wrecker returned from the back room. Omega appeared at Hunter’s side a moment later, her face bright with excitement as she looked up at her brothers. 

“Where are we off to?” She asked as she rocked back and forth on her heels excitedly. 

“We’ll brief you on the way to the ship,” Hunter said. He gave you another nod before he turned towards the door, Omega hot on his heels as he left. 

"Good luck,” Echo said, giving your shoulder a supportive pat as he passed by. 

“Try not to kill him,” Wrecker added with a laugh before the two of them also made their way out of the bar. You sighed to yourself as you turned towards where they had hauled Tech off. You likely didn’t have much time before he started climbing through the rafters or something equally ridiculous so with another sigh you pulled your data pad from your bag and headed into the back room. 

Somewhat unexpectedly, Tech was sitting up on the makeshift bed that had been made for him in the back room with his back against the wall, datapad in hand. He didn’t even look up when you entered the room. You could still see the tension in his shoulders and the lines of his face even from where you were standing. He was clearly still upset about being left behind so you refrained from saying anything. You wandered over to the small stool at his bedside and sat yourself down. Out of the corner of your eye, you could see Tech freeze, his head popped up and you could feel his gaze on the side of your face. 

After a moment you turned your head to meet his gaze. He looked confused. His brow furrowed beneath his goggles as he looked you over. 

“Was there something that you required?” he asked after another long moment of simply staring at you. 

You felt your face flush at his blunt words. You were fairly used to his ways and manner of expressing himself but every once and a while it still caught you off guard. Apparently, this was one of those times, “No, I just thought you might like some company…”  

“That is not necessary,” he stated matter of factly. Your previous slight embarrassment increased tenfold and your face positively burned. So much for Hunter’s assurance that he actually liked you. 

“Oh- uh, I guess I’ll go then…” you started awkwardly, standing back up from the stool. You weren’t sure why you thought he would actually enjoy your company and the fact that you had made your insides squirm uncomfortably. 

“I did not say you had to leave,” Tech said, stopping you in your tracks, “I do not wish you to feel obligated to spend time with me. I know Hunter likely put you up to this.”

Despite him being correct about Hunter you denied it, “I don’t feel obligated. I like spending time with you. It’s a lot better than spending time with those two bottom feeders out there, or worse, Cid.” 

You didn’t miss the small smirk that had suddenly appeared on his face or the way the tension in his body had disappeared, “Well I am glad that I at least rank above those three.” 

“I would say you probably make the top 10,” You teased as you eased yourself back onto the stool beside him. 

His smirk grew, “Probably?”

“It’s a fluid list,” You replied with a shrug before flashing a teasing smile at him.  

“And exactly how does one get to the top of the list?” He asked as he set his datapad down on his lap. His attention was now completely focused on you.  

“Oh that’s secret information,” You replied,  “I wouldn’t want to give anyone an unfair advantage."

Tech seemed to consider that for a moment, “That is understandable. I will accept that answer and my ranking as you see fit. And in any case, I do enjoy a challenge,” If it had been anyone other than Tech you would have actually thought his tone was downright flirtatious.��But that couldn’t be right. This was Tech. He didn’t even like you… 

He gave you a look that you would almost consider shy before he turned his attention back to his data pad. You couldn’t stop the soft and nervous chuckle that escaped you as you mimicked his actions and pulled your data pad up, powering it on and opening up the most recent novel you had started reading. 

A comfortable silence settled around the two of you as you both focused on your datapads. Despite your initial annoyance at being left behind it was actually nice to have some downtime. Quiet was hard to come by in your squad. It didn’t take long for you to get fully invested in the somewhat cheesy romance novel you were reading and time began to slip. Every once in a while you would peek over at Tech but much to your surprise he seemed content to actually stay put and not cause you any headaches. 

After a while you noticed an ache beginning in your lower back, at first, it was ignorable but eventually, you started shifting uncomfortably on the stool. It had been fine at first but the longer you sat the more the lack of back support was beginning to bother you. You were just considering moving it so you could prop yourself up against the wall when Tech spoke up. 

“That stool does not have enough lumbar support,” he said without even looking at you. Clearly, he had noticed your fidgeting at some point though. 

“Yeah, I’m very aware of that,” you replied with a soft chuckle as you stood up. You felt Tech’s gaze on you as you did so. The screeching of the metal legs of the stool disturbed the relative silence of the room as you pushed it closer to the wall with your foot. It still wasn’t the best option but you hoped it would at least be a bit better. It wasn’t the worst place you’d ever sat, that was for sure. 

You were just about to sit when Tech’s voice interrupted you, “You may sit with me if you wish,” he said casually. He had returned his attention to his datapad so he missed the shocked expression you knew was on your face, “There is more than enough room and your back will be better supported.” 

It was something straight out of one of your daydreams, so much so that you couldn’t quite believe he had suggested it. Sure, you had been in closer proximity before but usually that was only out of necessity. Crowded beneath the ship doing repairs, a steadying hand during a mission, the occasional pat on the shoulder. But this felt very different. 

“A-alright,” you said, suddenly sounding shy even to your own ears before you climbed up onto the bed beside him. 

He had moved over slightly and there was enough room for the two of you to sit comfortably side by side in the bed but your legs were still touching as you settled, the heat of him burning through you. 

You knew your face was flushed and your heart had picked up its pace as you held up your datapad once more. You just hoped Tech hadn’t noticed the effect his proximity was having on you. 

“What are you reading?” Tech asked after a long moment. If you weren’t mistaken there was something that sounded like strain in his voice. 

“Oh,” you replied, a wave of embarrassment washing through you as you looked towards him but actively avoided his gaze, “It’s just a silly romance novel.” 

“It is not silly if you enjoy it,” Tech stated matter of factly, “What is it about?” 

Despite his assurance, you were hesitant to tell him, you didn’t want him to add this to his list of things that were deficient about you. 

He seemed to notice your hesitation, “Perhaps you can read me a passage so I may determine if I wish to pursue reading this novel when you have finished with it.”

“You read novels?” You asked in surprise. You hadn’t pegged him as the type to read anything that wasn’t purely academic or related to your missions. 

“Yes, despite what others may believe I do not spend all of my time reading scientific or technical journals. I find novels to be an interesting insight into the behaviors of sentient beings, even if most of them are rather outlandish and unrealistic at times,” Tech replied. 

You couldn’t help but smile softly at his answer, of course, he would read them for research purposes rather than just pure enjoyment. Though now that your initial question was answered you realized you had completely missed his true request. 

“You-you want me to read it to you?” You asked feeling suddenly awkward by the content of your book and his request. 

“Yes,” he said with a nod, “I require further analysis to determine if it would be worth my time.” 

“O-ok,” you agreed hesitantly before you picked up where you had left off. You weren’t sure how much of the plot he would pick up given that you were already more than halfway through but if anyone could pick it up it would be him. You read quietly, not wanting your voice to carry out into the hall where Cid or anyone else might hear but your voice was still loud enough that it seemed to reverberate around the small room. 

“He kissed her with a passion he didn’t even know he possessed. His one hand on the small of her back gently held her flush against him as the other reached up to cup her face…” You were suddenly very grateful that it wasn’t an overly raunchy part of the book as your voice cracked slightly as you read. You weren’t sure why you were so embarrassed, it wasn’t like you had written it, but the thought of even reading about kissing in Tech’s presence set your whole body aflame. 

Thankfully the book moved on with the plot with only minor swapping of spit. You had been reading for quite a while before you noticed movement out of the corner of your eye. Tech was fidgeting in his seat now. Enough that you paused your reading, lowering your datapad into your lap as you looked over at him. He seemed to be actively avoiding your gaze as he continued to squirm slightly. 

“Are you alright?” You asked, concern lacing your tone, “Is it your leg? I can’t get you more pain medication…” 

“No. My leg is fine,” he answered abruptly. His gaze flickered towards you momentarily before he looked away again. 

You suddenly noticed that the tips of his ears had grown red and a sudden thought dawned on you. Maybe he wasn’t as unaffected by the content of your novel as you might have thought, “Do you want me to move?” 

“No. That is not necessary,” he replied, just as abruptly as before. 

“Are you sure?” You asked hesitantly, though he had finally seemed to settle once more. His eyes finally met yours but he glanced away quickly, “You seem… uncomfortable.” 

“I am fine. Please continue,” he seemed to pause for a moment, as though he was considering what he was about to say next, “You have a very pleasing voice.” 

You felt your face flush bright red and your eyebrows shot up in surprise, “You-you think my voice is pleasing?” 

“Among other things,” Tech replied, though he said it so softly that you wondered briefly if he’d actually meant to say it out loud. 

If you had thought your face had felt hot before it was nothing compared to how it felt now as you stared at the side of his face. He was looking around the room as though he hadn’t just dropped a major bomb of information on you.

“What-what do you mean?” You asked once it was clear he was not going to elaborate without prompting. 

Finally, he looked back over at you, though the expression on his face was as if you had just asked the most obvious question in the world, “You are very conventionally attractive. I have conducted my own research on this matter by comparing you to others of similar age, origin, and species and have found you possess more desirable physical and intellectual traits than average.” 

You felt as though you were going to burst into flame. He couldn’t possibly be admitting that he personally found you attractive, could he? Your heart was racing in your chest at the implication. Suddenly a different and somewhat unwelcome thought entered your head and your eyes narrowed slightly in suspicion as you looked at him, “How much pain medication have you been given?” 

Tech’s eyebrows shot towards his hairline in surprise, “A fair amount, but regardless, I am simply stating the facts. This is not a drug-induced confession.” 

You were quiet for a long moment, “I honestly thought you didn’t like me very much...” you admitted softly as your blood continued to race in your veins. 

Tech looked completely shocked by your admission, “Why in the galaxy would think that?” 

You shrugged, suddenly embarrassed by your honest thoughts, “I just often feel like you’re testing me to see if I actually belong with this squad and usually I feel like I come up short.” 

Tech looked honestly distressed by your words, his brown eyes were wide beneath his goggles, concern evident in the depths of them, “That- If I have ever made you feel unwelcome or uncomfortable please know that is not my intention. You are as much a part of this squad as any of my brothers, you’re one of us,” you noticed that suddenly the tips of his ears had turned red again and his gaze strayed from yours as he spoke, “I only test you because I know what you are capable of. I push you to be better because I want to ensure your safety. Perhaps my methods have been misguided though.” 

“Oh,” you replied lamely, unsure of what else to say but inside your heart was warming at his admission. It felt as though a massive weight had been lifted from your shoulders to find out that he actually didn’t dislike you. That his actions were out of concern not a lack of confidence in your abilities. 

The redness from his ears had traveled down to his neck as you looked up at him, his gaze seemed to be focused on everywhere other than you when he spoke again, “I - I care for you a great deal.” 

You’d always thought that heroines swooning in novels was a bit heavy-handed and unrealistic but suddenly you felt as if you could keel right over at his admission. Your heart was racing in your chest and your stomach fluttered as you watched him. He still was avoiding your eye contact and with a sudden surge of bravery you reached out to place your hand on top of his that was resting on his thigh closest to you. The skin-on-skin contact made you gasp at the electric sensation. 

“I care you for a great deal too,” you replied shyly, looking up at him from beneath your lashes as your cheeks burned. 

His gaze finally snapped back to you at your words. His beautiful brown eyes were molten as they traced the lines of your face, as though he was cataloging and committing it to memory. Knowing him, he probably was. 

After a long moment, he cleared his throat, then took a deep breath as though he was preparing himself for battle, "I would like to conduct an experiment,” His voice cracked slightly which was something you had never heard from him before. Tech was the definition of calm and collected, “If you are willing of course…” 

A puzzled expression overtook your face as you looked at him, your curiosity was nearly overwhelming. He looked nervous. 

“What did you have in mind?” You asked softly.  

“I wish to replicate your novel.” 

You honestly thought you might faint, your head felt as if it was about to drift off into the clouds. You briefly wondered if maybe you were the one who had taken too much pain medication. Or maybe that unidentifiable snack you had earlier was causing you to have hallucinations.

“You-you want to kiss me?” You finally managed to ask, your voice sounded as breathless as you felt. 

“Very much so,” Tech said with a nod, his expression was completely serious. 

“O-ok,” you managed to squeak which was all the encouragement he needed before he was angling himself towards you. His hand came up to gently cup your jaw and before you could even fully wrap your head around what was happening he was kissing you. Even in sitting, he was much taller than you and he had to duck his head to reach you. The angle was a bit awkward due to your side-by-side positions but that was quickly forgotten as he deepened the kiss. His lips were soft and gentle against your own at first but it didn’t take long before the kiss became more persistent as he drew you even closer. Your hand gripped the front of his shirt, anchoring you he gently nipped at your lower lip. Tech groaned softly, which was the greatest sound you had ever heard as you reciprocated, pressing yourself up into him as you devoured one another. You had never been kissed like this before. It was as if suddenly every nerve ending in your body had been woken up after years of being asleep. 

You felt as if you might combust at any moment and your head was spinning. But suddenly Tech pulled away from you. You were unable to stop the soft moan of disappointment that escaped you as he did so. You felt as if all of the air had been sucked from your lungs as you watched him with wide eyes. His own chest was heaving slightly as he gazed at you, his eyes still molten as they seemed to focus on your lips.

“Hmm, fascinating,” He said softly after a moment, once his breathing had seemed to return to normal.  

“What is?” You asked, suddenly feeling shy under the intensity of his gaze. 

“Your lips are even softer than I hypothesized,” he said as he lifted his hand to cup your jaw once more, his thumb traced your cheek softly, sending shivers down your spine. 

“What other things have you hypothesized?” You asked, smiling up at him as your heart continued to pound in your chest. He was going to be the death of you. 

“I theorized that if I were to kiss you once I would then wish to never stop,” His voice was huskier than you had ever heard it before, “that theory has also been proven correct.” 

“Well, I think that is acceptable,” You replied with a teasing smile, looking up at him once more from beneath your lashes, “Kiss me again, Tech.”

He didn’t need to be told twice. 

You wanted desperately to get closer to him as he captured your lips with his own, but you knew that with his injured leg, your current position was the only one that wouldn’t cause him pain. Next time, you thought before you gasped in surprise as he parted your lips with his tongue. He moaned softly against you as his hand slid from your jaw to tangle in your hair. Kissing him was intoxicating. 

A sudden noise in the hall had you both jumping apart. You both watched the door, chests heaving. But there was no further sound and no one burst through the door to bust you like you had been expecting. You suddenly giggled at the ridiculousness of it all, the fact that you suddenly felt like a horny teenager who couldn’t get enough of him, and how you had gone so long thinking he didn’t care for you when in fact it had been the exact opposite. 

Tech’s cheeks were red when you looked back up at him but there was a wide smile on his face that warmed your heart. You didn’t think you had ever seen him smile like that before. This truly was a day of firsts. 

“Was my kissing sufficient?” He asked you earnestly which only made you giggle again. 

You grabbed his hand, interlocking your fingers as you smiled up at him, “More than sufficient."

His face flushed further as he lifted your joint hands to place a soft kiss on your knuckles, “Thank you for keeping me company today.”

“Anytime,” You replied sincerely before you shifted, leaning back against the wall once more before you tilted your head to rest on his shoulder. Tech seemed to tense momentarily at your proximity before he completely relaxed, leaning further into you. He let your hands fall, still intertwined into his lap.  

This had not been what you had in mind when Hunter had made the request of you to keep an eye on Tech earlier. But you couldn’t help but think, as Tech’s head tilted to rest against your own as the two of you settled into comfortable silence once more, that this was far better than anything you could have imagined. 

[writingsoftarnishedsilver]

okay sebastian reacting to mc learing gaelic for him. we know that he probably speaks it due to his parents and being Scottish i just imagine him reacting like that guy when his girlfriend

https://www.instagram.com/reel/DAZlsjsy2mG/?igsh=MWp5NXo5OGJ6Z255cg==

Mo Chridhe | Sebastian Sallow x Reader

Ancestry says I'm 0% Scottish but I did my best BAHAH

Words: ~1,700

Tags: Reader Insert, Female MC, No Y/N, Established Relationship, Fluff, Very Fluffy

The soft rustle of leaves and the gentle hum of bees buzzing around the early blooms filled the courtyard, mingling with the distant chatter of students enjoying the newfound spring weather. You sat cross-legged on the cool stone bench, your Charms textbook open in your lap and a half-finished essay balancing precariously on your knee. The warm sunlight felt good against your skin, a welcome change after the long, dreary winter.

Sebastian, on the other hand, wasn’t paying any attention to his homework.

He lounged beside you, his legs stretched out and crossed at the ankles, one arm draped lazily over the back of the bench as if the very idea of studying offended him. His open Transfiguration book sat abandoned on the ground, pages fluttering slightly in the breeze. Instead of working, he was leaning in close, prodding at your quill with his finger like a bored cat trying to get a reaction.

“Come on,” he said, his voice carrying that familiar, teasing lilt. “How many hours are you planning to spend on that essay? You’ve written enough to fill three scrolls already.”

“Two scrolls,” you corrected without looking up, deftly shifting your quill out of his reach. “And unlike you, I actually plan to finish my assignments before midnight.”

Sebastian let out a dramatic sigh and tilted his head back to squint at the sun, the soft curls of his hair catching the light. “The best ideas come to me under pressure.” He grinned, his gaze shifting to you. “Or haven’t you noticed?”

You rolled your eyes but couldn’t suppress the small smile tugging at the corner of your lips. “The only thing I’ve noticed is that you’re terrible at staying on task.”

“I’m excellent at staying on task,” he shot back, straightening up slightly. “And my current task is making sure you don’t spend the whole afternoon scribbling away when you could be enjoying this beautiful weather.”

You glanced up at him then, raising a skeptical brow. "Enjoying the beautiful weather, or entertaining you?"

“Both, obviously,” he said, flashing you that signature smirk—the one he knew was impossible to ignore.

You groaned and went back to your essay, refusing to let him distract you any further. But he didn’t seem to take the hint. Instead, he shifted closer, resting his chin on your shoulder with absolutely no regard for personal space, his woodsy scent wrapping around you like a blanket.

“What’s this one about, then?” he asked, his breath warm against your ear. “Another thrilling analysis of wand movements?"

You bit your lip to keep from laughing. “It’s on advanced offensive charms,” you said. “And if you don’t let me focus, I will hex you with one.”

Sebastian chuckled, the sound vibrating softly against your shoulder. “Advanced offensive charms? Why bother writing essays about them when I could just give you a live demonstration.” He lifted his wand and gave it a dramatic twirl, the tip sparking faintly.

You reached out, swiftly catching his wrist before he could attempt anything. "I've had enough detention his month because of your antics, thank you very much."

Sebastian made a show of pouting, his wand still poised in his hand. "Detention builds character, love. Besides, you can’t tell me you didn’t enjoy our last one—scrubbing those cauldrons gave us plenty of quality time together.”

You raised a brow at him, your lips quirking into a sly smile. "Oh, yes, nothing screams 'quality time' like scrubbing years of potion residue out of the bottom of old cauldrons. Truly romantic."

Sebastian grinned, his chin still resting comfortably on your shoulder. "You’re saying that now, but I distinctly remember you cornering me in the—"

"Alright, alright!" You cut him off, heat rising to your cheeks as you waved your quill at him in warning. "No need to revisit that memory in public, thank you!"

Sebastian’s grin only widened, his dark eyes gleaming with mischief. “What’s the matter? Embarrassed?” he teased, leaning in even closer, his breath warm against your ear. “I’m pretty sure you were the one who—”

“Sebastian,” you interrupted again, trying to keep your voice steady as you pointedly avoided his gaze.

Sebastian's grin turned wolfish as he tugged on your tie, pulling your face closer to his. His eyes sparkled with mischief, his voice dropping into that low, teasing tone that always made your stomach flip. "You know, you’re adorable when you’re flustered," he murmured, his breath brushing against your skin.

You swallowed hard, your heart thundering in your chest. Usually, when he got like this—bold, unrelenting, and utterly incorrigible—you'd be left scrambling for a retort, something, anything, to wipe that smirk off his face. But not today.

Today, you were prepared.

Ever since you'd overheard Sebastian mention, offhandedly, how his parents used to speak Gaelic when he was young, you’d been secretly learning the language. He’d spoken of it with an odd mix of nostalgia and melancholy, lamenting how rare it was to hear it anymore. That wistfulness had stayed with you, and you’d spent countless late nights practicing phrases in secret, waiting for the perfect moment to surprise him.

And now, with him leaning so close you could feel the warmth radiating off him, you seized your opportunity.

You smiled sweetly, letting your fingers curl around the hand still gripping your tie. Then, in a voice as calm and steady as you could manage, you said, “Sguir dheth.”

Sebastian froze, his grip on your tie going slack as his eyes went wide. For a moment, he just blinked at you, completely thrown off. It was rare to see him so utterly speechless, and you relished every second of it.

“What did you just say?” he finally asked, his voice an octave higher than usual.

You tilted your head innocently, your lips curving into a sly smile. “What’s the matter? Don’t recognize your own roots?”

He gawked at you, his expression cycling rapidly between shock, amazement, and something that looked like pride. “You—you’re speaking Gaelic?” he sputtered, his voice rising. Then, before you could respond, he sprang up from the bench, practically bouncing on the balls of his feet. “You’re speaking Gaelic! You learned Gaelic!”

You leaned back, raising a brow at his sudden burst of energy. “A little bit.”

“For me?” he demanded, his grin splitting so wide it could’ve rivaled the Cheshire Cat’s. He dragged a hand through his hair, looking equal parts stunned and giddy. “I don’t believe it. You—you actually learned Gaelic. Do you have any idea how bloody amazing that is?”

You laughed, caught off guard by his sheer enthusiasm. “It’s not that big of a deal, Sebastian—”

“Not that big of a deal?” he interrupted, throwing his hands in the air as if you’d just said the most absurd thing he’d ever heard. “Are you mad? No one speaks it anymore! I don’t even speak it anymore! And you—Merlin, you—you just casually drop it on me like it’s nothing?!”

He sat back down beside you with a thud, his excitement undiminished. He leaned in close, his hands gripping your shoulders now as if to steady himself. “Say something else,” he demanded, his eyes alight with curiosity and joy. “Come on, anything!”

You couldn’t help but laugh again, his boyish excitement infectious. “Tha thu nad amadán mòr,” you said, your tone teasing.

Sebastian’s jaw dropped, and then he burst into a loud, delighted laugh, throwing his head back as he practically doubled over. “You just called me an idiot!” he said, between wheezing laughs. “Unbelievable. You go through all the trouble of learning my ancestral language, and the first thing you do is insult me.”

“Seemed appropriate,” you said with a shrug, biting back a grin. “You make it so easy.”

Sebastian shook his head, still laughing as he pulled you into his chest. “I don’t know whether to be flattered or offended,” he said, still grinning.

“Just be flattered,” you said, your voice softer now. “You seemed so nostalgic when you mentioned it, and I thought… I don’t know. Maybe it would make you happy.”

He pulled back then, his teasing demeanor softening as his gaze searched yours. “Happy doesn’t even begin to cover it,” he said, his voice low and sincere. “You—you didn’t have to do this. Gaelic, Merlin. I’m never going to shut up about this.”

You searched his face, your breath hitching as your eyes caught the faint shimmer of unshed tears pooling in his. It was barely there—so subtle you might have missed it if you hadn’t been looking—but it struck you like a bolt. Sebastian’s usually self-assured confidence had softened, leaving behind something raw, unguarded, and achingly sincere.

Gently, you reached up, letting your fingers graze his cheek in a tender, grounding touch. “Of course I’d do this for you,” you murmured. “I’d do anything for you, mo chridhe.”

At that, a tear slipped free, trailing down Sebastian's cheek, though he didn’t seem to care. Instead, he pulled you closer, wrapping his arms around you and burying his face in the crook of your neck. “Merlin's beard,” he murmured, his voice muffled but filled with warmth. “How am I ever supposed to top this?”

You laughed softly, your arms winding around him in return as you rested your chin on his shoulder. “I’m sure you’ll find a way. You always do.”

He pulled back just enough to meet your gaze again, his grin returning through the lingering emotion. “Oh, I will,” he promised, his tone lighter now but no less genuine. “But first, I’m going to spend the rest of the day telling everyone who’ll listen that you learned Gaelic for me. Everyone.”

“Sebastian, no—”

“Oh, absolutely yes,” he said, his grin turning wicked. “And you’ll just have to live with it, mo chridhe.”

You groaned, but the fondness in your expression betrayed you. “Fine. But don’t expect me to bail you out when Ominis gets annoyed.”

“Worth it,” he said, pulling you close again and pressing his forehead against yours. “Completely worth it.”

[moodymisty]

Author's Note: hi

Relationships: Perturabo/Fem!Reader

Warnings: NSFW, Sex machines, Overstim, I guess you could consider dubcon if you squinted, Oral (male receiving), Cum on face, brief mention of squirting

Unlike Perturabo, who at some point will tire, or more realistically grow bored, this accursed creation of his is unyielding.

It's will is truly iron clad, because it has no will at all; Only circuits and wires.

Perturabo watches of course, evaluating.

This is all just some sort of analysis for him. The newest of his torture devices- you've insisted on calling them that despite the fact that for all intents and purposes, they've provided enough sexual satisfaction for days on end at the cost of your sanity- must live up to the impossibly lofty exceptions he has set for himself. Even if it's not a machine of war, not a tank or an anti-air gun, he still treats his work with an unfathomable amount of rigor and discipline. He accepts no less than perfection.

He's not going to slack and make something subpar, even if it is just something to make his wife lose control of herself and soak his spare workbench.

He's jerked himself off in his desk chair a few times already, though he swiftly realized it was inconvenient to get up over and over again to cum on your face; He wasn't going to just waste it. He's fucked your mouth, silencing your cries and pleas and making your throat burn more. The vibrating sound of your sobbing teased the thick head of his cock and threatened to make his head loll back as he stood in front of you.

You feel like a sloppy mess. Not that you have any control over it. You're done when he says you're done. Or you pass out. Right now it seems the ladder is the more possible option, though you've passed out before during evaluations of his machines, and oftentimes he lets them continue until you return to consciousness.

The wood of the table is harsh against your knees; It was against your forearms as well, but you've since fallen resting on your cheek. The metal digs into your wrists and ankles, biting your skin. Your body is too tired to do much more than just lie there pliantly as tears stream down your face.

You've lost count of the amount of climaxes, both from your brain turning to mush between your ears and the fact that they've by and large stopped- now it's just a nonstop string of near painful sensation that overwhelms you at the precipice of too much. Your cunt clenches around nothing, hips twitching uncontrollably, clit bullied and quivering. Each vibration feels like it's going up your spine and directly into your brain. You swear there's stars in your eyes.

It presses against your cunt just hard enough that you can't wiggle away from it no matter how much you move, your hips gyrating around trying to find a spot of reprieve even if for just a moment.

You found one briefly for a moment awhile ago, and once Perturabo realized he stood up, cock still in hand, and adjusted it to take your solace away. You'd caterwauled at the sudden return of the overwhelming sensation directly on your clit, and you're sure every Iron Warrior on this side of the base could hear your profuse sobbing.

You already have trouble looking them in the eye.

He's turned down the power a bit since, though the amount of time you've spent tied up like this makes even the softest sensation feel like a punch to your aching gut the jolts down to your groin. Sometimes he briefly turns it back up for a moment, if only to briefly listen to you squeal and thrash, the metal of the restraints clanging.

The pleasure he gets from this is clearly worth the hours he spends building these contraptions. He has so many, each torments you a different way and he's more than receptive to tinkering with them if they fail to impress on the first go around.

Sometimes you wonder if watching you get fucked by his creations is more pleasurable to him than fucking you himself.

Perhaps so, though you also know it's not often he gets to build things that are outside of his legion's usage, and you suppose he enjoys the deviation. Even if it's at your expense.

The room filled with nothing but the sound of your sopping wet and puffy cunt getting vibrated to oblivion and the hapless defeated groans you let out, Perturabo finally gets up and walks towards you.

He turns the accursed thing off, unlocking your wrists before gently grabbing your jaw and tilting your head sharply up to look at him in the eyes. His grip is gentle, but forceful.

"Now go get dressed up. Some of the other primarchs will be at dinner."

Spit dribbles down your chin, your hair a mess from writhing. You're still shaking and your heart hammers in your rib cage, body aching from hours of tensing. Your thighs are sticky and wet from your own release and sweat. You look up at him agape and stupid, eyes struggling to focus, your forearms and knees sticking to the table, and all you can let out with your raspy, scream scarred voice is a dumb sounding:

"...What?"

[justinspoliticalcorner]

Ben Blanchet at HuffPost:

Donald Trump’s interview with ABC News’ Terry Moran featured a bonkers moment on Tuesday when the president appeared to suggest that an edited photo depicting tattoos of Kilmar Ábrego García was the real deal. Trump — in an interview marking the 100th day of his second term — told Moran that Ábrego García, a Maryland man mistakenly deported to a Salvadoran prison, had MS-13 “tattooed” on his knuckles in a printed picture he shared from the Oval Office earlier this month. “It says ‘MS-13,’” Trump asserted. “That was Photoshop, so let me just —,” Moran said. “That was Photoshop? Terry, you can’t do that,” replied Trump, who went on to argue that MS-13 is as “clear as you can be” on Ábrego García. The photo shows the text symbols “M,” “S,” “1” and “3” digitally added above tattoos of a marijuana leaf, a smiley face, a cross and a skull, respectively. Moments earlier, Moran swiftly hit back at Trump’s claim about Ábrego García, whose family and attorneys have denied that he’s a gang member. “He had MS-13 on his knuckles, tattooed,” Trump said. “He had some tattoos interpreted that way. But let’s move on,” Moran said. “Wait a minute. Hey, Terry, Terry, Terry. Don’t do that,” replied Trump before Moran continued. “He did not have the letter, ‘M,’ ‘S,’ ‘1,’ ‘3,’” Moran noted. It’s not entirely clear if Trump meant that “MS-13” was literally tattooed on Ábrego García’s knuckles, or if the images simply represented “MS-13.” The photo has led to mixed analysis, with some believing that the Trump administration intended for the text symbols to be a legend of sorts for the tattoos.

Petulant jerk Donald Trump acted like a class clown in front of ABC’s Terry Moran, even after being called out over his usage of a manipulated picture to justify the deportation of Kilmar Ábrego García to baselessly paint him as “MS-13.”

See Also:

The Guardian: Trump pressures journalist Moran to accept doctored photo as real: ‘Why don’t you just say yes?’

HuffPost: Donald Trump Jumps On Chance To Belittle ABC News Reporter Terry Moran And It's So Predictable

Daily Kos: Trump's belief in doctored 'MS-13' image suggests frail mental state

Interview, via ABC News:

[elysiasasuya]

Academic rival! Zayne

Headcanons

Academic rival!Zayne grew up as a well-renowned prodigy among his family, peers and all those that surround him. Anyone who interacts with him and even those who do not can already state one thing. He's not just smart, he's incredibly intelligent. His mind is shaped into a vast library full of knowledge. He never truly met anyone who could get along with him and his brain not until he met you.

Academic rival! Zayne was in highschool when he met you. He didn't really pay attention to anyone, he did– not much, barely but also just enough. He didn't even spare you one, until you were stuck in a predicament. Your teacher caught you sleeping in class and reprimanded you, it was supposed to be a long scolding session. Everyone knew that the teacher was a terror one, she'd get you punished if you even failed to answer her question. That is..you didn't.

Academic rival! Zayne should have shrugged it off and studied on his own quietly but quietness wasn't an option. Your voice stole that choice because of its firmness and confidence. You didn't allow yourself to be humiliated, not at all. You were polite when you shut her up with a rebuttal and answered the questions precisely and swiftly. Done. Class silent then class dismissed.

Academic rival! Zayne now felt the shift of his behavior, a change to his attitude. His attention began to slip and unwantedly too, involuntarily finding its way to you. You, who isn't actually the lazy type, just a relaxed one. You who often read her book, indulging in your own world. You who pass work on time then move on to teaching others what they find confusing. That's when he finds himself not just glancing but looking at you. He even knew your routine at this point.

Academic rival! Zayne may have given you many glances, well, too long to be one— but he didn't genuinely expect you to occupy the table hidden in the corner in the library. It was his spot, the only one he'd ever choose, no matter the space of the premises. He didn't leave however, instead he finds his way to you. He didn't greet you nor look at you, he just sat and began his studies.

Academic rival! Zayne felt himself at peace, only to become hyper-aware of you moving closer than you should. He had the right space to not bother you yet he finds himself finally breaking his gaze away from his book to look at you. You're now in front of him. You smiled at him and pointed at the literature he was studying, your eyes shone so bright that he mistook them for Sirius A, a star he is fond of. He wouldn't tell you that though, he didn't plan on letting himself drift away from his studies.

Academic rival! Zayne somehow found himself engaging in a conversation with you about it. He heard your opinion about the book— not a simple one that others would just utter to catch his interest. You actually rambled about your character analysis, the hidden symbolism, connection of plots and more. Some of it, he already knew but for the first time, most of it isn't that known to him. It was like he entered a mysterious place for once. He remains outside, not able to explore it yet. Should he explore more of who you are?

Academic rival! Zayne began to stumble in your direction or was it you that tagged along? None of it mattered because it's always the same, the two flocked like birds. It started with the library sessions wherein the two let their meetings happen and they talked about different books that soon became topics outside of that. It went for hours that both of you almost ended up locked if you didn't dash to the entrance with your hand on his. After that, it extended to study sessions at his house and other places he knew aren't for studying.

Academic rival! Zayne felt this mutual connection between you two that he didn't even consider seeing you as a rival, but then a competition took place and you got the first place. He didn't know you were in the contest in all honesty, that's why surprise hit him. Peculiarly, it was a pleasant and warm surprise. He found himself admiring you with a smile that's more than pride but adoration. When you saw him, your eyes widened just as your smile did. It made him forget that you took his usual spot for a while. If you were to show him that sweet smile and pretty dimples again? I bet he'd let it happen all over again.

Academic rival! Zayne is even more active in class this time. Yes, he participated a lot but it's mostly the teachers calling him for the answer. This time it's voluntary, he actually raises his hand and shows more of his public speaking skills. But it's not just him doing that, someone else is also standing in another spotlight. Right in front of him was you, not just speaking but discussing the lesson. When he recites, you do too. It's been a routine now.

Academic rival! Zayne saw the changes now. His scores are either the highest or the second highest. It's like an up and down scale that cannot seem to be measured. Now, he felt a fire long gone before now igniting. It was an empowered passion. He didn't stop meeting with you still, he kept studying with you, this time more purposeful. He explored many things with you. He explained and even debated topics with you. What was monotone became lively.

Academic rival! Zayne wouldn't admit it outright but he is beginning to like the way you challenge him more. You have become bolder, poking fun at him and teasing him about being the smartest king that fell from grace. He didn't mind it, rather, his lips even quirked up. It twitched, not out of annoyance but amusement and fondness. With that, missions surfaced and the two are now clashing greatly that the room felt more of a battle ground than a classroom. You are against each other's throats, stealing chances to recite and get perfect scores. Sometimes he wins, sometimes he loses. It's unstable, but why does he need to do this? He wants to.

Academic rival! Zayne only agreed because of the rewards. The first one was simple, he has to do something for her if she wins and if he does, then she buys him a pack of sweet cookies. The more it accumulates, the harder it gets however. He had to come out of his comfort zone sometimes because of their deal. He needed to wear your outfits and give you a fashion show. That day onwards, he transformed into a more demanding version of him. This time she also has to do the same, but in his clothes. He doesn't even know why he demanded this but deep inside, a certain reason was lurking. He liked seeing you in his clothes.

Academic rival! Zayne has gotten out of focus since then, the deal nearly forgotten. Good thing she reminded him with a knowing look. Despite him being quiet and more aware, you were there being too carefree.It broke something in him. He thought of an idea that he mustn't entertain, don't you see him as a man? He shouldn't entertain it, he did. He is more at advantage now, winning and sealing deals. He made you do more difficult and embarrassing requests. This time, he made you act as his girlfriend on a date with him at a restaurant where you actually succeeded with flying colors. A situation that gave him a ticklish sensation in his chest.

Academic rival! Zayne now sees unexpected moments unfold that didn't even appear before. He could discern it was because of his last request. Now, his eyes are unraveling more of you, the way you get easily flustered and putty when he's too close. The way your voice gets unnecessarily high and even the way you avoid his gaze. He should be glad you didn't avoid him until you did. It's been a week and he almost wrecked his mind, his nerves pounding because of the stress of thoughts of you. He just finished his class and is on the rooftop now to clear his mind. It was serene and empty, until it wasn't.

Academic rival! Zayne sees you abruptly appear in front of him. He couldn't utter anything. He was awfully and uncharacteristically silent. So you let your nervous voice out to lessen the tension. You cast him a sassy glare and talked about how he didn't even reach out. Then next thing he knows, you put your lips in a thin line before reminding him of their deal. You were victorious when you out-ranked him. And so, she did the one he didn't anticipate the most. You gave him a peck that lasted for a few seconds before turning away, your face was flushed when you said it's what you wanted for the deal.

Academic rival! Zayne was a calm man, full of composure that never cracks. But you really broke him apart and turned him anew, his lips are on yours in a flash. His hand gently snakes at your nape, sliding up to the tangles of your hair. Both of you melted as he hungrily but tenderly devours you, his tongue slips and tastes the sweetness that he knows well– vanilla, kind of like ice cream. He was so lost, absolutely drowned by your taste. His trance stops when you constantly smack his arm. That's when he reluctantly stops and moves away slowly, just a few inches.

Academic rival! Zayne finally sees your diluted eyes and swollen lips, he didn't even miss the furrow of your eyebrows. Your voice shook as you spoke, not something that you do at all. He felt his heart fighting with the sound of your voice, it was half of the noise he was hearing. When his eyes dropped to your lips, he caught on to what you just said. A confession to him. Your words no longer compete with the thump of his heart. He clearly heard how you've been admiring him, how you love simple moments with him, and more things about him that he doesn't even know. If he hadn't kissed you again, you wouldn't have stopped the hilariously anxious ramble. Could he still be considered a fallen king? He doubts he would ever fall if there's an equally powerful queen beside him– you.

© elysiasasuya 2025. Hearts, shares and reblogs are appreciated! © Cathy (edits) © kodasworld (headers)

[luka--lu]

Anthropological and philosophical analysis of Viktor’s story in Season 2 - Part II

Eh, here it is, the 2nd part. It’s a direct continuation of the 1st one, ‘cause I’m gonna be referencing lots of stuff from the previous post. So go check that out. Here’s more intellectual rambling.

AFFECTS & RAGE

Author Sara Ahmed (my beloved) writes that emotions are more than individual states. Society produces and prioritizes certain groups’ emotional responses over others. She calls these responses, these emotions - ‘affects’. We see the Council members express disgust, contempt and anger directed at the Undercity’s citizens. We see Caitlyn’s reaction to the attack at the memorial, her anger towards Jinx and disdain for Zaunite criminals, the grief over her mother killed in Jinx’s attack. Do Cait's emotions justify her actions, usage of chemical warfare and abuse towards Vi? Seems like they do, from writers’ perspective. Salo is angry and he's presented as corrupted, unsympathetic, but Caitlyn is angry and her actions aren't critiqued by the narrative. Her anger is righteous because she wants to contain the situation in Zaun. That's why she formed the special team right after the memorial. She becomes angry and acts violently, but at the end of S2 she's not held accountable.

Caitlyn's affects and her actions came from her grief and anger, and she considered her choices as right because as an Enforcer and a Kiramann Caitlyn felt that she has a moral duty to protect Piltover's interests and citizens. She goes on to gas Zaunites because she's protecting Piltover's 'right' to peace and safety. Which is accurate with Ahmed's understanding of prioritized affects - the privileged people can respond to tragedy, loss and trauma with affects such as anger, rage, despair. Ahmed writes about that in Feminist Killjoys (And Other Willful Subjects):

(...) When anger becomes righteous it can be oppressive; to assume anger makes us right can be a wrong. We know how easily a politics of happiness can be displaced into a politics of anger: the assumption of a right to happiness can convert very swiftly into anger toward others (immigrants, aliens, strangers) who have taken the happiness assumed to be "by right" to be ours. (...) (Ahmed, Feminist Killjoys)

Cait indirectly killing Zaunites with Gray isn't addressed as state sanctioned violence and killing, but Renni's attack at the memorial, her anger and revenge she wanted for her son's death are considered wrong. As if Caitlyn isn't acting with revenge as motivation all this time too. Why are Renni and Jinx dead by the end of the story and Caitlyn is supposedly absolved of all her crimes because she... had no energy left to be angry after the time skip? No, the narrative states that Cait is privileged and she can respond to tragedy with anger and violence. Renni and Jinx are Othered, their anger and violence aren't right, these are pathological affects. The narrative takes sides.

According to Ahmed, rage of the oppressed people is actually the dissatisfaction with the system. Ekko being angry with Caitlyn and Jayce is absolutely justified and necessary. It’s the frustration, the resentment coming from an experience of discrimination and embodiment of the Other. It’s the rage simmering in lifelong trauma, it's an emancipatory rage. Then, community as basis for change, grassroots action that connects marginalized groups - that comes from feelings of empathy, connectedness, determination. That’s what Ekko does with the Firelights.

Ekko is right to be angry, to point out the wrongdoings of privileged characters, to call them out on their ignorance and decisions beneficial only for Piltover. But Ekko’s anger is dismissed by the narrative. He’s basically absent in S2. Why? I think because he's a Feminist Killjoy. Or rather a Zaunite Killjoy. And the writers couldn't give him space to speak more, because the things he said were too uncomfortable.

Viktor in S1 is also frustrated very often because of the state of affairs after Jinx stole the gemstone. He expressed annoyance, disappointment and anger at Jayce, at Mel and indirectly at Haimerdinger. Wish we could have seen Viktor's reaction to Cait weaponizing the Gray. It’d have personal significance and further radicalize him, helping in severing his ties to Piltover, fully dedicating himself to Zaun.

And ever since S1 I wanted Viktor to express rage. I wanted him to be so fucking angry. Him screaming and mirroring Warwick during the transformation into the Machine Herald felt so satisfying when I saw it for the first time. Look at him! He's mad as hell! Good.

But that's not enough. His rage is only a fragment of the sequence when The Line plays and the writers don't explore Viktor's anger. Which is a terribly missed opportunity. If I was able to rewrite Viktor's arc, I’d make his anger expressed explicitly, he'd be seen in the rage that gathered within him for so long. And it would be justified, as he recognizes his supposed internalized ableism and how badly xenophobia, classicism and laws of Piltover affected him and Zaunite people. People who're also angry, as we've seen at the very beginning of S1. Vander went on that bridge for a reason and I dare say revolutions always start with frustration, evolve into anger and burst out in rage. People gathered at the rally by Sevika are also angry. Anger calls for action.

(When on topic of Zaunites, it's also fucking horrible that Viktor doesn't bond with Sky over their shared identity as Undercity citizens who migrated to Piltover with the intention of educating themselves so they can improve Zaun’s situation in the future. Sky is so underdeveloped it’s making me go insane. She’s used as a plot device in both seasons. A Black woman serving white man’s character arc and she got fridged twice. No words. Now I feel angry.)

Coming back to rage, it's so interesting that Viktor isn't allowed to express it in the narrative the same way Warwick isn't. I mean, he gets feral, but it's not... rage, not really. Originally Warwick is literally The Wrath of Zaun incarnate. And the writers fucked this up by making Vander come back as a plot device to 'unite' Jinx and Vi. It says a lot about writers' real premise and priorities. Warwick couldn't remain the embodiment of Zaunites' rage and a chaotic, uncaged beast, a Radical Other, a force Piltover fears (Salo literally calls Zaun a basement with demons inside) because it's a character in opposition to the state sanctioned violence of Piltover. And the creators don't want to address that. I believe Warwick's mess of an arc in S2 should be studied in the context of politics of affects and specifically how anger is an integral part of Zaun and Arcane as a story. But this post is about Viktor, so imma move on.

Viktor should have had a chance to acknowledge that him working in Piltover won't really help because in reality majority of the Council doesn't want to help. He’s overlooked because of his social status despite being the co-creator of Hextech. The majority of the Council wouldn’t give a fuck about whatever projects he’d present as improvements for the Undercity. Viktor's rage against the system could be so cathartic and satisfying after such a long time of suffering both physically and mentally. Suffering caused by Piltover’s destructive actions and intentional inaction in certain spheres.

And if he chose to augment himself, ideally in a way he did in original LOL Lore, I’d want his thought process to be: ‘You see me as the Other, so I will become the Other in the most extreme way possible, and will do so out of spite and despite of you all’. I’d be screaming, crying, throwing up!! If he saw there's no way he could achieve his dream because the system won't ever allow it. If Viktor left and used his skills to help his people, maybe siding with Ekko and combining their anger to become integral to the Zaun-Piltover conflict, I’d be so happy. Guess the writers could make Viktor prominent in S2 as the villain but not as the revolutionary he deserved to become.

I want to emphasize how integral affects, specifically anger/rage, are to the Arcane as a series. All characters experience them in different ways. When I saw Viktor's anger in S1 I dreamed of him becoming the Herald through the experience he had in League Lore - in some messed up form of stages of grief, from depression through anger to acceptance.

And that's what should have happened, but S2 destroyed this integral part of Viktor. He can't be angry, because he lost his humanity to the Hexcore. AND IT HAPPENED WITHOUT HIS CONSENT AND NOT OUT OF HIS OWN FREE WILL. What narrative tells us is: the Other needs to be neutralized and then villainized, he can't act out of his own volition, he must be a shell of who he once was, because if he remained himself and acted the way he wanted, he would make everyone feel awkward - his actions would reveal our prejudices.

And Viktor was already established as a Zaunite Killjoy in S1. Specifically in the 'I'm from the Undercity' scene (more on that later) and when Mel implied weaponization of Hextech. Writers of S2 took away Viktor's real agency and took his Killjoy status away, because he'd make it all awkward! If he left Jayce because he was disappointed with him making Hextech weapons for Cait or whatever other reason that connected to the Zaun-Piltover conflict, Viktor would be making a statement: he won't go along with this.

But who is a feminist killjoy? Ahmed writes that a person who's marginalized and experiences oppression can become a killjoy in a political sense. Being a killjoy is an act of causing 'social awkwardness' - by expressing dissatisfaction with the system or verbalizing someone's biases, and most importantly entire society's normative and oppressive institutions. A (feminist) killjoy refuses to be neutralized and silenced, it's a political role, a form of action, activism. That's why I think of Ekko as our Zaunite Killjoy who never got the chance to act to his full potential in political sense (because writers yeeted him into an AU).

Ahmed writes:

To create awkwardness is to be read as being awkward. Maintaining public comfort requires that certain bodies "go along with it." To refuse to go along with it, to refuse the place in which you are placed, is to be seen as causing trouble, as making others uncomfortable. There is a political struggle about how we attribute good and bad feelings, which hesitates around the apparently simple question of who introduces what feelings to whom. Feelings can get stuck to certain bodies in the very way we describe spaces, situations, dramas. And bodies can get stuck depending on the feelings with which they get associated. (Ahmed, Feminist Killjoy)

Ahmed wrote about anger in The Cultural Politics of Emotion, in the chapter Feminist Attachments. Her point is: anger is an appropriate response to systemic violence, suffering inflicted on certain groups by those in power and the processes of Othering.

That's why Viktor's response to these issues should have been him making people uncomfortable on purpose - with his political stance and his embodiment. As I argued in my 1st post, he should have affirmed himself as a Zaunite and a disabled person, reject Piltover and make a conscious decision to use technology similar to his OG League counterpart (maybe tone down on the amputating limbs part tho). It'd tie with original premise of Arcane, the story of class struggle, of political and social conflicts between Zaun and Piltover.

But the writers didn't feel comfortable with that idea. Kinda awkward.

And the same point about who’s affects, specifically anger, can be expressed was brilliantly analysed by @ceaselesswatchersspecialboy: 

(...) to have Viktor question Piltover further, to have him present for Cait’s rise and the gassing of the Undercity and growing brutality towards its people, would mean that it would have to be acknowledged deeper, and that there would have to be actual consequences. Viktor’s arc cannot centre around the conflict of Zaun vs Piltover anymore, because to do so would mean actually addressing the horrifically inhumane acts of Piltover, and the centuries of oppression in a way that justified Zaun’s violence and anger. 

And that- THAT IS THE REAL THING! (snatches wig) 

Even more importantly, he points out: 

Viktor's arc cannot centre around him choosing to become the Machine Herald, because that would mean acknowledging that he has a right to be resentful and hurt, that the fact he was dying was caused directly by Piltover. 

Preach it to the heavens. I have nothing to add. (text in quotes was emboldened by me)

As Audre Lorde’s classic quote goes: For the master’s tool will never dismantle the master’s house. They may allow us temporarily to beat him at his own game, but they will never enable us to bring about genuine change. (Lorde, Sister Outsider)

Why then, does Viktor agree to help Ambessa; why then, Vi and other Zaunites join the war? These actions won’t help in dismantling Piltover’s system of power. It's perpetuating violence and destruction. Giving Sevika a seat in the Council isn’t about to bring genuine change. The Council has never worked in favor of Zaunites, so how having just one representative at the table helps in the long run? There shouldn't be a Council anymore! Abolish it!

Lorde, along with bell hooks, are the most notable Black Feminist Killjoys in the history of the movement. The meaning of anger in political context for the oppressed groups and social justice activists is crucial. Having anger within the fabric of their stories, Zaunite characters should have been given agency to act. And cause awkwardness. The way Ekko made Jayce uncomfortable (get him Ekko!).

I believe Arcane draws far too many parallels to real live social issues and different civil rights movements that writers omitting the political message in Season 2 is simply them indulging in the privilege of ignorance. They allowed themselves to avert their gaze from actual source of Zaun-Piltover conflict, the same way privileged groups irl just 'go along with' discrimination because it doesn't touch them, it's not their concern, it causes them to feel shame, guilt, anger and fear.

And that's what I wanted, I wanted Viktor to cause these affects in Jayce, Mel, Heimerdinger, all of the Council, Caitlyn and just in general, because that just made sense in his character arc and general narrative. The final villain should't be Viktor, the villain was Piltover's power all along.

It would be good if S2 Viktor saw that the glorious evolution was basically him trying to fit in a society that won't accept him anyway. He won't dismantle the master's house by pursuing idealized standards of health and progress. He needed to build connections with people like Ekko and radically reject Piltover and its values because they made him Othered and emotionally miserable.

How even cooler of a character he would be, if he said ‘screw you’ to the discriminatory society and tried to build sth different the way he did in League Lore with Blitzcrank (rip) and augmenting people who wanted that sort of help. The transhumanist part of augmentation is kind of complicated, as I explained in the 1st post, but hey, Viktor isn't supposed to be morally perfect. He's all shades of gray and that’s why I love him. But S2 changed him so dramatically, made him do things contradictory to the original character from S1. He became a plot device, not the active engine of social change, and that just makes me uneasy.

In order to make a real change Viktor initially wanted, he’d have to accept his Otherness and become the Radical Other on his own terms FORM THE VERY BEGINNING OF SEASON 2. He’d leave Piltover and Jayce behind for good, because that would be true to his character's values. It would make sense for him to be angry, resentful, scornful. It hurts to say this as a Jayvik shipper but only a bit, just a tiny bit. Imagine the Divorce Era if Viktor went this direction and they never reconnected? Doomed, tragic. Imagine the yearning and inability to reconcile their contradicting worldviews. Soulmates this, partners that, but what about actually giving Viktor a character arc? (i’m partially joking, don't come at me)

Anyway, this approach, with understanding of the role the affects have in political contexts, would be more subversive and focused on the characters' motivations. It'd show how the affects reflect the bigger picture of socioeconomic state of both cities' dynamics. The affect of rage felt and expressed during various events which caused social changes is integral to the history of emancipation and freedom in our world. Arcane touches real political issues but downplays Zaunite characters’ actions and affects. It's supposed to reflect really important issues. But Viktor in S2 is angry only for a split second, and we're not even sure if it's his own anger or if it's just Warwick's blood and Arcane connecting them for a moment. What S2 showed us in Viktor's case is that when the Other gets angry, they’re alienated further and further…

VIOLENCE, NECROPOLITICS & ABJECTIFICATION

Philosopher Simone Weil wrote that violence/force is the thing that takes away human choice. Systemic violence committed by Piltover took away many choices from Zaunite characters, but they still managed to adapt (Silco, Vander, Jinx, Ekko). Their actions are normal reactions to abnormal circumstances. That’s why Viktor’s decision to use the Hexcore in S1 is understandable - he’s dying because of Piltover causing industrial pollution in Zaun. Yet he made a choice to discard the chance to live after he accidentally killed Sky. He was still the idealist he started as in act 1 of S1, who valued human life above all else, even if it meant losing his own.

It doesn't feel right from his character arc’s perspective, but it’s a bit understandable that at the end of S2 he said choice is false. Because even when he chose his own fate in S1, the choice was taken from him - in an act of violence committed by a fellow Zaunite (Jinx) and then by his partner. Yes, Jayce merging Viktor with the Hexcore is a difficult decision he made, he saved Viktor’s life, it was out of love, but it’s still violence done from selfish reasons (it’s sort of resembling real situations in which cancer patients refuse treatment while their families push them to change their mind). This isn't ok, to have a disabled character make an autonomous choice regarding his body and life, only then to be taken away by an able-bodied character. Disabled people’s physical boundaries are so often crossed and ignored in medical and social contexts, and it’s maddening to see Viktor experience that in S2.

Now, as an important note to Viktor’s analysis, I’ll delve into violence as an inherent part of social and political conflict. Violence itself is much more than military context. We see a group of Zaunites join the Enforcers in the last episode, they even die during the Noxian invasion while wearing Enforcers’ uniforms, as we see in Gert's final moment (the Zaunites fighting for Piltover is ridiculous, it just blows my mind. Gert and Vi should have been girlfriends change my mind). When discussing violence and protest sociologist Walter Benjamin noted that people in power create legal orders and governments in order to decide what’s considered lawful and unlawful violence. Police can do violence because their actions are sanctioned.

Jinx is considered the biggest threat because her violence isn’t sanctioned. Piltover associates a 'good' type of violence with uniforms and flags, weapons created to ‘defend’ the City of Progress which are wielded by the police. While we see police brutality as evil in S1 and Caitlyn sees the corruption this status quo causes, she then leans into it in S2 and abjectifies Zaunites (more on that later). She gasses them and declares martial law. She might be conflicted and then betrays Ambessa, but it’s not developed enough, so I criticize the message based on what we got - and we got no accountability for the state sanctioned violence.

The theory of necropolitics, created by Joseph-Achille Mbembe, states that politics is the power to decide whose lives matter and whose death is justified or unnoted. He writes about this theory specifically in connection to colonialism and racism. I want to use Mbembe's theory to explain how Arcane's narrative allows necropolitics to be implicitly shown but never explicitly addressed.

In S2 Caitlyn abused her power and made a (necro)political decision when she unleashed the Grey on Zaun. And it isn't addressed. The action is justified because it ‘cleared the streets of the criminals’. Their lives aren’t notable. We can imagine the gassing influenced not only the chem-lords and their gangs, but countless citizens of Zaun too. Caitlyn’s politics, and Piltover’s in general, categorizes Zaunite lives as expendable. Necessary sacrifices for progress. Justified, somewhat indirect killing. We have many examples of such political decisions in our world I think...

And at the very end, Viktor is also forgotten, nobody puts his name in the bowl during the tribute on the bridge, he’s considered a villain (‘Viktor is at the center of all of this, isn't he?’). Necropolitics explains that political power also decides who is worth grieving. With this in mind, I think S2 gives a very uncomfortable message. Judith Butler explains it quite well in Frames of war. They write:

Ungrievable lives are those that cannot be lost and cannot be destroyed, because they already inhabit lost and destroyed zone; they are ontologically, and from the start, already lost and destroyed, which means that when they are destroyed in war, nothing is destroyed. (Butler, Frames of war)

And who died in this war? Viktor, the empathetic scientific genius, the disabled man, the Zaunite.

Other Zaunites died too. So did Jayce. It’s incoherent how Jayce goes from declaring Viktor as dangerous to then dying together while touching foreheads in a Zaunite gesture of love. I mean, I get it, Viktor is actively turning everyone into senseless machines which is objectively bad. But from the narrative perspective it irks me that the creators decided it’ll be Viktor and Jayce who bear the consequences of this conflict. Not the Council, not the nobles of Piltover, not the police. And we can only assume that some of the Zaunites who died in the war against Noxus were remembered on the bridge. But why is it that they had to die in police uniforms while protecting Piltover in order to become worth grieving?

Sara Ahmed also writes that associating certain affects with a group of people makes it easier not to grieve for them. The way people of Piltover speak about Zaunites exemplifies it: addicts, criminals, animals, creatures, demons in Piltover's basement, trenchers, associated with disease, lack of order, threat, dirt, danger.

Making Viktor ungrievable in the end is also pretty fucking bad on writers' part, because in many societies disabled people are oftentimes considered socially useless, expendable and half dead already. With Viktor’s story as context this is even more unsettling.

Earlier I made a point that Caitlyn abjectifies the Zaunites. Abjectification, as Butler writes, is an act of turning certain groups considered inherently dangerous into ‘abjects’ and not subjects of the political stage. Abjection basically means an emotional and bodily reaction to something considered repulsive, uncomfortable, threatening and undesirable. According to Piltover's (necro)politics Zaunites are abjectified and need to be managed with sanctioned violence for 'public good'. The narrative of S2 tried to fool us with the ‘humanity needs to be protected’ plot while using Viktor and foreign military as threats. I see it as another attempt at dodging actually important and difficult discussion of class divisions and power dynamics. They did, after all, make Zaunite the final boss. 

I wrote at length about Viktor's relationship to his embodiment and how the concept of Other is important while reading his arc. His body isn't normative so it's abjectified from the start. His disability is a marker of difference. Butler in their book Bodies that Matter explains that abjectification is a process that creates 'unlivable and uninhabitable zones of social life' in which certain people exist not as subjects, but beneath 'the domain of the subject'. In Arcane it's perfectly exemplified in the way Zaunites live literally under Piltover - their lower social status is signified by the proxemics of the cities. Viktor wasn't allowed to inhabit certain spaces both in Zaun and Piltover due to his disability and social status. He was then taken into the 'unlivable zone' in his own narrative because his agency and anger had been taken away. He was then made into a villain and died. This way he was abjectified by Piltover's systemic violence and its necropolitics as well as the writers' own unconscious process of abjectification.

Viktor was Othered on many levels within the story, he was this way because the creators made this decision, they made him a disabled person and a Zaunite. As I pointed out before, representation has real life consequences and writers have responsibility when they write characters with experiences similar to real people. In Viktor's case people with disabilities and lower social class. In the end of S2, Viktor vanishes completely, ungrievable, abjectified, no more a subject with his own affects and dreams. He became the 'abjected outside' as Butler calls this status. He was literally sucked into the rune, away from Piltover. Abjected outside, rejected yet again (maybe this time on his terms, but why should the narrative force him to bear the emotional labor of this decision? why punish him for adapting into abnormal circumstances he was thrown into?), forever an outsider looking in...

Jayce might say the final fight is about ‘humanity itself’, but I see it for what it is - a veil hiding the fact that writing Zaun vs Piltover civil war would mean admitting that Zaunites have the right to fight the abjectification. And there’s no way we can deny the real world implications of that.

THE SPECTACLE OF OTHERING

The very first thing that specifically sparked my idea to write this extensive analysis was this frame:

The marionette is perfect in form, white and gold (like Mel’s og outfit), slim and fancy, perfect by Piltover standards, but still has the Zaunite touch of art nouveau aesthetic. It’s made from flesh of a Zaunite and the metal that came from the industrial waste in the pits of Zaun.

The marionette is displayed by Jayce and evokes a reaction of fear in the people gathered. It’s lying on the table, looking graceful but uncanny. Everyone in the room is scared because it’s inhuman and dangerous. Even when Viktor inhabited what he thought was an embodiment of perfection, in the end the Pilties still rejected him. Because he’s from Zaun, he’s a creature, Zaunites are not human in their eyes - so is Viktor no matter how he changes. He's dead already, even for Jayce.

It scares me how unsettling it is when Jayce unveils the marionette - basically Huck's corpse that Viktor used, it doubles the distress I feel when I see it. The body of a Zaunite was used by his fellow citizen whose goal was the betterment of the Undercity, but turned into eugenics because of him internalising the stigmatisation. Both Huck and Viktor were oppressed because of their origins and disability, and in the end they both die.

In S1 Viktor is considered by Jayce as one of ‘the good ones’ - same way Vi was called by Maddie. But Viktor remarks he’s still a Zaunite and isn't different to those Jayce calls dangerous. He reveals Jayce’s prejudice; as much as Jayce loves Viktor he’s still shaped by his environment. Thinking of Viktor as an exception confirms Jayce’s unconscious conviction that Zaunites are Other, they can be dangerous.

Ironic, how at the end in the Council chamber Jayce presents Viktor as the ultimate danger. It’s an odd parallel. In S1 Jayce orders a blockade, locking Zaunites’ access to the bridge, so they get angry (remember the affects stuff?), and then Jayce calls them dangerous... In S2 Jayce indirectly calls Viktor the biggest threat and names the Hexgates ‘the last bastion of salvation’, he then tries to make it inaccessible for Viktor. Viktor should be absolutely fuckin' fumin' babes. But he can't be angry. not anymore.

Jayce talking about the threat Viktor poses in S2 is reestablishing Jayce’s bias from S1 when he ordered the blockade and told Viktor in the face that Zaunites are threats. Gurl, your partner is a Zaunite. One season later Jayce presents the marionette and actively portrays his ex(partner) as the bad guy.

And then Jayce’s character does some real gymnastics in the astral plane when he expresses his love to Viktor hoping to snap him out of Machine Herald mode. If Jayce loved all of Viktor and truly understood him, then why the fuck did the writers made their actions and statements contradicting several times. If they had good writing skills left, they’d write Jayce like at the end of S1 when he took Viktor to the Council, finally let him speak and declare the proposition of Zaun’s independence. Writers could just… not do all that Jayce Judas Era in act 2 in S2. Idk fam, these characters were just devices to push preexisting tropes and cliches forward, the series turned into Avengers instead of more compelling and character driven story it was before. I’m mad again, so let’s move on.

The display of the marionette reminds me again, more literally, of the freak shows where disabled people were a show for able-bodied audiences (I wrote about that more in the 1st post). The doll might look perfect, but we know it's a corpse of a marginalized person addicted to shimmer who acquired a facial deformity before Viktor healed him. The marionette is a stand-in for Viktor, a disabled person who's now being talked about by Jayce as the looming threat to all of society, humanity even, ‘both bottom and top’ (love how Sevika and Scar walked out, I know that's right!). 

The doll on display is like an extension of the spectacle that was Viktor's body in both seasons. He's the character whose nudity is shown the most often in S1 and S2, it’s borderline voyeuristic. His disabled body is on display when he experiments on himself in the lab, we see close-ups of his back brace, we see him crawl on the floor in nothing but underwear and braces. Not to mention the self-injuries he makes by craving runes on his body. In S2 he’s basically naked all the time except for the goddamn blanket. His body is hyper-visible because of things he uses to aid it: the cane, crutch, leg brace, back brace; and because of his body itself: the nudity, skinny frame, pale skin, dark circles under eyes, prominent bones, greasy hair, bloody cuts.

As Rosemary Garland-Thompson wrote in Extraordinary bodies, disability is very often marked hyper-visible for the majorly able-bodied audience and causes a visceral reaction of compassion, pity, awkwardness, fear, uneasiness, sadness. I can’t talk for everybody’s emotional reactions to the scenes I'm referencing, but there’s something to be said about the choices the creators made when framing Viktor’s bare body. Physical disability and self-injuries are so often very misunderstood and make many people anxious, because they’re different from what’s considered ‘normal’ or rational by the normative rules of society. Both Viktor’s disability and self-injuries are markers of his extreme vulnerability as well as desperation and unpredictability of his actions.

For me, an able-bodied person, these scenes feel too intimate and painful to watch without feeling like a voyeur. I even feel weird putting the picture for reference. Not because his body itself makes me uncomfortable. It’s about the visual framing of him that the creators made, and it feels like a spectacle of Viktor’s ‘broken’ body and his moral downfall in S1. It allows us to deeply empathise with him and see him at his lowest, which doesn't have to be a bad thing all together when we understand it as a raw depiction of pain and determination, integral to his character arc and embodiment. At the same time these scenes are like a double-edged sword and can be read as extremely exploitative, like an echo of freak shows.

Ahmed claims that there's no private suffering. That what we experience on our own is always linked to the outside, to the societal rules, cultural meanings and politics that influence our lives, our embodiment. She also writes that it's imperative to respond to the pain of other people, to respond to our pain and act. This idea ties to the Feminist Killjoy role and affects I wrote about. Viktor suffers on his own basically until the very end, only to have Jayce's loving presence in their final moments. Viktor's suffering was a direct effect of politics and socioeconomic situation he lived in. As Ahmed writes, in order to respond to pain, social movements such as feminism must open up safe spaces for the disclosure of pain. We need to make spaces for 'speaking about pain'. This, for Ahmed, is a condition that allows for unification of people in 'different stories of pain that cannot be reduced to a ground, identity or sameness' (The Cultural Politics of Emotion).

This is the reason Viktor needed to meet other Zaunites, other disabled people and speak about his pain. Speak about his disability. Viktor should have been given agency to 'speak in one's voice' (as Garland-Thompson wrote) and 'speak about pain' (as Ahmed wrote). Then his arc wouldn't become a spectacle of Othering, it would be a raw story of emancipation that wouldn't fall easily into the Inspirationally Disabled/Disadvantaged trope.

Viktor’s body is an inseparable part of his character, but it makes me uneasy how the focus on his body is fetishistic at times. And then the doll he controls in S2, while it looks perfect… is still unsettling to see. And it's displayed by Jayce in another form of spectacle... Narratively speaking, Viktor's still an outsider just like when he first stepped foot in Piltover. He’s not dying now, his physical disability is gone, it's not the same as the body that was his lived experience. And it's depressing to watch.

Viktor depersonalized after emerging from the hexgoop (?), he seems to be apathetic and disoriented (‘What am I?’). The body horror part is reminiscent of the freak shows where disability was a pathological state, congruous to monstrosity. We don't get Viktor’s inner thoughts and feelings on his body’s current state and that's stupid. His experience was inextricably connected to his body and how he experienced this embodiment. And he was disconnected from it. Because the writers thought so??? And didn't bother to explore it??? This is an insult to Viktor's character and people who relate to him.

Viktor absolutely had so many thoughts about his embodiment, but it's never verbalized or visually explored deeper. At many points of the story he loses parts of his body, his body is in a constant state of change. It's so interesting and important to ask: what does Viktor think and feel when experiencing himself, his body/in this body? It's a question of what makes us ‘us’ - body? mind? soul? everything at once? something else? There are multiple metaphysical answers to that. Arcane tried to be meta with Viktor's Messiah arc but it falls flat in the end. He basically became transhuman three times! (after getting out the goop; being in the astral plane where he exists beyond flesh and its ‘limitations’; and at the end when he became the alien Machine Herald) And he doesn't speak about the experience! His body is hyper-visible but he doesn't speak about it (apart from 'I can feel my body eroding' in S1) at any stage of the drastic changes he goes through. We get to watch him go through them but he doesn't speak in his voice, doesn't speak about the pain. That's crazy. (I'm not getting into the transhumanism part of his LOL Lore and what it could mean, but I firmly believe it still should have been a part of Arcane Viktor's story, we prolly would need one more season to explore everything I suggest, sigh)

What Jayce shows when displaying the marionette is a sacrifice on an altar - Viktor’s character and all of Zaun were sacrificed by the narrative and creators for the sake of a generic plot where the good guys (actual oppressors) have to fight the big bad (actually oppressed) who’s going to end all of humanity. This ignores the reason Viktor even does what he does - the root of it all is Piltover's necropolitics and the establishment that doesn't allow social change.

It's even exemplified in Vi and Cait staying together - Cait loses an eye but so what, she still gets rewarded by the narrative. She isn’t held accountable for her actions and gets a girlfriend whose trauma isn’t explored by the writers at all. The implications of Vi’s relationship with a former cop and fascist aren’t addressed, and it’s considered romantic by the creators and many fans. Sorry, but I can’t ship CaitVi the way I used to. My lesbian heart is broken, but I can’t in good faith consider this ship as anything but romanticization of abuse and a complete lack of class consciousness on creators' part. I wanted Cait and Vi together, happy. But not the way it turned out in the final version. Fanfiction writers you're my only hope for fixing this.

FINAL THOUGHTS

In the end the person who gets to tell the story is Cait, the Piltie and an enforcer turned dictator, who embodied the oppressive practices and the status quo which thrived from inequality and militarism of the police. The winners tell the story, people like Jinx, Silco and Viktor are painted as villains when they actually had reasons to rage against the Piltover's machine of bigotry and hatred fueled by greed of the privileged. 

Viktor's name was removed from the Hexgates’ blueprints, he was forgotten as he feared he would be, he wasn’t grieved by anyone. Necropolitics at its finest. And that makes me fucking sad and pissed off. He deserved so much more. Yes, Arcane is a tragedy and all, but Viktor's arc in S2 is astoundingly OOC and destroys the core themes his story established in S1. And the ending he gets, even though he’s with Jayce, gives a very off-putting message. Sorry JayVik nation, I’m one of you, but the writing is as poetic as it is problematic.

This story is so centrist, pro-establishment actually, and not as subversive as it promised to be. It treats rebellion as an aesthetic and sacrifices characters from the oppressed group in order to uphold the power of the oppressors. Because to show that political change is possible they’d have to acknowledge what's wrong with the system, how it involves real people, how affects such as anger can be justified as political motivation, how abjectification, Othering and violence destroy people and their entire worlds.

This destruction, the senseless waste and conflict Viktor speaks of, that's what happened to Powder/Jinx and Vi in the 1st act of S1. We saw what happened on the bridge, with Vander and Silco's anger that went further and further. The main story started with a group of kids robbing a wealthy apartment because they needed things, they needed money, they were Zaunites taking from Piltover because these kids were growing up 'knowing they're less than them'...

I needed Viktor's and Vi's traumas to be talked about by them, in their own voices. They needed to speak about their pain. Too bad if CaitVi and JayVik wouldn’t work as ships then. That would be the real thing. A tragedy. They'd split because the political climate and differences in values was impossible for them to reconcile. Either that, or the Piltover cast had to admit their wrongs and actively help their loved ones in Zaun’s rebellion. And it should have happened not only because Jayce loves Viktor and Cait loves Vi, but because Jayce and Caitlyn see the inherent value in Zaun’s freedom. Cait saw Ekko’s community in S1 and still became a fascist. Jayce heard Viktor’s stance on weaponization of their work and saw the real consequence of Piltover’s oppression while witnessing Viktor slowly dying, being so destroyed by everything he even considered suicide. And Jayce still built weapons. And this is the real tragedy - Cait and Jayce could have been actual allies. But we don't live in the timeline where such a story was told.

We got a promising S1 with a really compelling premise (Silco they would never make me hate you) and then it got fucked up. The threat isn't the government, it's the stigmatized group acting out because they’re pushing back against the oppressors. The person whose actions are deemed evil is a Zaunite aided by the foreign warmonger. It shifts our focus to outside forces (Ambessa) influencing Piltover and scapegoats Viktor as the ultimate danger. The Other, not a radical one. The reason he became the Herald in Arcane was his internalized bigotry perpetuated by the government and society of Piltover. It wasn't Viktor becoming a Zaunite Killjoy because he wanted to. But that would be the right thing for him to do, to reject the people, places and symbolic structures that rejected him. To embrace the status of Other and re-invent its meaning for himself without changing himself fundamentally. I’m so mad y’all, if you couldn’t tell by now. Linke i'm living in your walls

If you start a story about oppression then commit to it, cowards. But that was never the intention of the writers, centrist bs shows and it’s not a good look.

They character assassinated basically everyone because the writers wanted a cliche ending. It was enjoyable but not compelling. It was visually stunning, animation, as they say, fucks severely, voice actors did an amazing job, the emotional layer was quite touching (altho emotional moments didn't feel earned), the music really slaps (Renegadeeeeee, Stromaeeeeee), Viktor’s looks were so tea they killed him 3 times. But in terms of writing? It’s a disappointment. In terms of storytelling and cultural meanings? I think you got my idea, nothing could stop me from overintellectualizing this show.

That being said, I love Viktor even though I've got a lot of critical thoughts on the final version of his arc and the message the creators give on disability rep which is... not coherent. Not good sometimes. But for sure Viktor is complex and very important as a disabled character in popular media. And I will love him until the day I die and then some.

Why did I write this? Idk. Perhaps because I can't shake off the feeling that Arcane writers touched so many important philosophical and social/cultural concepts but didn't do the research or commit to the premise and lost an important message. I wanted to analyse it because as Garland-Thompson said representation shapes identity and lives of real people. I’m happy to see how many people love Viktor and feel represented. I'm glad to see people enjoy him while being critical. His story is complex, there’s many points to be made, my take is only one of many, so… the answer would be that we need more disability representation that involves actual disabled people’s voices in the creative process. It’s their experiences and opinions that matter.

TL;DR Viktor’s arc in S2 is a trainwreck, I mourn what could have been. He’s one of the characters ever tho, important for creating nuanced disability representation. There’s a ton of themes needed to be further explored. Implementing culture studies and philosophy into Arcane took me over a week to research through my notebooks from Uni. The writers of S2 had almost no idea what they wanted to say about anything other than maybe: 'riots are cool, but actually overthrowing the government is a bit much'. Is Viktor still an icon, a legend, a moment? Come on now.

This is a draft of my PhD and THAT’s all. Anyway,

Viktor you'll always be famous to me

[naeverse]

Tangled in his Webs

Art generated by: Niji • Journey Request from: @migueloharacumslut Ask: And I have a request I forgot rather I submitted or not. Mad scientist Miguel x therapist reader Miguel gets put in a psych ward because he got caught experimenting on people and himself trying to turned them in to spider people. He’s been in the psych ward for five years and he needs to be cleared to go back in the world. That’s where the reader comes in to clear him only he manipulates her into thinking he is sane. During their session Miguel becomes obsessed with the reader and little does he know she is obsessed with him too. At night she touched herself to the thought of him. When Miguel get out he finds her. Make the sex nastyyy, hard and rough little choking wouldn’t hurt either. Please and thank you ! 😊 A/N: I really loved this idea and enjoyed writing Scientist Miguel so much. Might write him more lol, but thank you @migueloharacumslut for the idea. Also this is the first part and a second one will be following this one, hope you enjoy!

💉staring: Scientist!Miguel O’Hara x Fem!Therapist Reader

      🩵preview:  “I imagine I must seem like a puzzle that’s meant to be solved by you, don’t I, dear?” He asked, his gaze never letting up and keeping its intensity. Due to his closeness, you almost missed his inquiry, but upon detecting it, it surprised you. Hastily, you shook your head, dismissing his ideology and rejecting his notion. “N-No, I wouldn’t exactly describe you in that way, Dr. O’Hara.” You swiftly replied. 

“You wouldn’t?” He asked, his voice low and slow. “So, how would you describe me, Doctor?” 

🔬summary:  As an evaluation therapist at Nueva York’s Sanctuary for Mental Healing, you are assigned a new patient—one who is complex, captivating, and dangerously drawing you in more than you ever expected.

⚗️tw/cw (Just for this part): Big Dick Miguel, Bondage, Fingering, Masturbation, Psychopathy, Restraints, Sadism, Size Difference, Restraints

🔭Pet names: Cariño (Darling), Querida (Dear)

     🩵Rating: 18+ explicit I SMUT I

 🥼Word Count: 7.7k 

**This fanfiction is a work of fiction, and any resemblance to real-life individuals or events is purely coincidental. It does not intend to diagnose or represent any real mental health conditions. Thank you for understanding, and I hope you enjoy the story.**

Your eyes fluttered open, consciousness slowly returning. You felt a dull ache and soreness in your throat, accompanied by a pervasive feeling of weakness throughout your body. Blinking against the harsh fluorescent lights overhead and adjusting to the suffocating sterile scent of antiseptic, you noticed that you were lying on your back against a hard, cold surface.

With furrowed eyebrows, you attempted to sit up, only to be thwarted back by the metal restraints tightly bound around your wrists and ankles.

‘What the heck!?’ 

You thought, panic and fear beginning to grip you. Your eyes darted down to discover yourself clad only in your undergarments—a delicate white, laced satin set—leaving you exposed to the chilling breeze that consistently swept through the well-lit space.

You couldn't remember how you got here; your groggy mind unable to piece together the events that led to your presence upon the metal table. The faint hum of machinery echoed from far away, punctuated by distant murmurs that made your heart drop.

With dazed eyes, you looked around your surroundings to be met with the overbearing shade of a bright white that covered the walls of what looked to be a lab of some sorts. Countertops were lined with an array of perfectly arranged scientific instruments, machines, and beakers.

Shelves held neatly labeled containers, each housing an assortment of chemicals and biological specimens. Despite being well-lit, there were little to no windows present, intensifying the feeling of isolation within the controlled environment. 

The place seemed devoid of humanity, replaced by a location where experimentation and analysis were handled freely without compassion or warmth.

But one thing about the lab really stood out to you: two jars sitting upon the shelves—one full of bloody red eyes and the other with abnormally sharp canines.

The sight almost made you vomit, hastily turning to look away. Your heart and breath were picking up, fear clawing at your being. Although how morbid the otherworldly body parts were, they triggered something in your head.

The more you thought upon it, awareness seeped in like an unwelcome guest; slowly, you began to remember.

The mental facility...

Red eyes...

The flowers...

Sharp canines...

Black glasses...

His release...

Him.

The wine...

Then darkness...

The memories came rushing back so quickly that you weren’t able to keep up, until it all came back to...

Him...

A wave of regret and stupidity overwhelmed you. Never in your life had you felt so worthless.

You should have known...

You should have fucking known...

‘He wasn’t well. He wasn’t fine. You were wrong, so wrong-’

“Good… You are awake.”

The bone-chilling voice of your captor filled the room, sending a familiar chill down your back. With trembling lips, you turned your head to see the backside of a massive male entering the room. His coffee-brown locks styled neatly upon his head, a white lab coat adorning his huge build along with black dress pants and oxfords.

The scientist wore clean attire, perfect for working in the lab, but his outfit was beyond your concern. 

You knew who he was, but you didn’t want to believe it.

You gulped, watching him slap on a pair of white latex gloves upon his large, calloused palms before beginning to inspect the scientific tools that sat upon the nearby counter.

"And here I thought you would have been excited to see me again..." he said in a husky voice, responding to your silence—his Latino accent unmistakable, along with a hint of amusement found in his tone. You felt like an idiot for falling for him, for becoming so fascinated with a madman like him...

But you were still in denial.

You weren’t going to believe it was him until you saw his face...

“T-T-Turn around…” You said hoarsely, the pain in your throat distant underneath the layers of fear and anxiety coursing through your body. At your demand, the large scientist laughed. “Turn around?” He asked slowly, silence following his inquiry, making your body run cold.

Suddenly, he spun around, slamming his palms onto the metal table you laid upon. The abruptness and loud noise made you jump, and a gasp erupted from your lips. His eyes stared directly into yours, holding the same madness that you believed he had cured when you initially met him. But, like before, it wasn’t the insanity in his gaze that made your heart drop to the pit of your stomach...

It was his eyes... 

His teeth...

The scientist’s crimson eyes looked down at you, taking in your discolored skin and half-lidded eyes that were still under a drowsy spell. “I turned around now, are you happy?” He asked with a playful smirk. “Do you recognize me now, dear?” 

Your eyes widened, the look upon your face enough to show the mad scientist that you did, in fact, remember who he was— but you were too speechless to respond, causing the male to chuckle.

“Do I need to give you any more proof that it is I?”

His snickering seemed to reverberate off the walls of your mind as the fluorescent lights of his lab bounced off his razor sharp canines.

With trembling lips and dilated pupils, you looked over his face, your heart breaking more and more because…

It was, indeed, him...

The mad scientist... 

The sexy patient... 

Dr. Miguel O’Hara…

The man you fell for…

White, close-toed wedges clicked upon the mental facility's aged linoleum tiles, the floor's once-bright patterns now a faded, discolored mosaic covered with scuff marks and indistinct stains that revealed the struggles of all who shuffled through the dimly lit corridor. The mental facility, unintentionally, gave off an eerie atmosphere with walls clad in faded, peeling paint and ceilings with bright, flickering fluorescent lights that cast irregular shadows along the cold institutional floor, further giving anyone who traversed the halls the creeps.

You, a therapist meant to evaluate patients for release, were given a new challenge���a patient that held a sadistic background coupled with a remarkable intellect that made many wonders how he found himself inside 'Nueva York’s Sanctuary for Mental Healing.'

Dr. Miguel O’Hara was your new patient's name, an intelligent scientist who became a little twisted after his discovery of gene splicing. In his pursuit of advancing the human race, he became obsessed with the idea and creation of spider-human hybrids. After many experimentations of creating what is referred to as mutates, he was unsuccessful. Before he could continue with his study, he was arrested and sentenced to seven years here at the institution where it seems he’d made progress.

Whilst you walked towards his cell, taking the seemingly endless halls of the asylum, you looked over his file. Inside were documents containing his personal information, such as full name, date of birth, emergency contact, and next of kin. In the brown folder were also his medical history, psychiatric assessment, diagnostic evaluations, and much more information collected during his time at the institution; however, there were four pieces of his folder that piqued your interest:

Observation logs, Treatment plan, Risk assessment, and lastly, incident reports.

You studied each of the documents to discover the important details that needed to be surveyed before seeing the scientist in person.

_____________________________________ 

Miguel O’Hara - Mental Health File

Patient Information:

Full name: Miguel O’Hara

Date of Birth: 10/13/2070

Appointed into: Nueva York’s Sanctuary for Mental Healing

Admission Date: 11/10/2099

Emergency Contact: N/A

Next Of Kin: N/A

**The patient has explicitly communicated a desire for their next of kin not to be associated with their mental health treatment, and no detailed information about family members was recorded to respect the patient’s privacy.**

Diagnosis:

Primary Diagnosis: Psychopathy

Secondary Diagnosis: Antisocial Personality Disorder

Treatment Team:

Primary Therapist: Dr. Jessica Owens, Licensed Clinical Psychologist

Psychiatrist: Dr. Peter B. Parker, MD

Nursing Staff: Nurse Mary Jane Watson, RN

_____________________________________ 

Treatment Plan: 

Medications 

Fluoxetine (Prozac) 

Dosage: 20 mg daily

Purpose: Miguel O’Hara is prescribed Fluoxetine to address symptoms of irritability that derives from his disorder of Antisocial Personality. 

Lorazepam (Ativan)

Dosage: 0.5 mg as needed (PRN) for anxiety

Purpose: Miguel O’Hara is given Lorazepam on an as-needed basis to manage anxiety-related symptoms or impulsivity.

**Its used closely monitored due to the risk of misuse**

Lamotrigine (Lamictal) 

Dosage: Gradual titration starting at 25 mg, with adjustments based on response. 

Purpose: Miguel O’Hara’s treatment plan included Lamotrigine to help stabilize mood swings or emotional dysregulation. 

_____________________________________ 

Incident reports 

Date: 2/3/2100

Incident: Verbal altercation with another patient during group therapy 

Action Taken: Immediate de-escalation and one-on-one session with Dr. Peter B. Parker. 

Date: 6/21/2100

Incident: Refusal to take prescribed medication 

Action Taken: Nursing staff provided additional support and education 

Date: 10/3/2100

Incident: Refused to attend scheduled group therapy and became verbally aggressive towards staff members

Action Taken: Security staff was called to ensure the safety of other patients and staff. Miguel was later engaged in a one-on-one session to explore the reasons behind his resistance to group participation. 

Date: 1/4/2101

Incident: 2nd occurence of refusal to take prescribed medication 

Action Taken: Nursing staff provided additional support and education and therapeutic engagement by Dr. Jessica Owens to address any fears or misconceptions related to his prescribed medications. 

Date: 4/18/2101

Incident: Observed by Nurse Mary Jane Watson of the patient hoarding various items in his room, including non-permissible objects. 

Action taken: Staff conducted a room check, confiscated unauthorized items, and discussed appropriate belongings with Miguel. A follow-up session with his therapist, Dr. Jessica Owens was scheduled to explore any underlying concern. 

Date: 3/21/2102

Incident:  Engaged in a physical altercation with another patient during a recreational activity 

Action taken: Immediate intervention by staff to separate the individuals involved. Both parties were assessed for injuries, and a report was filed. Increased monitoring and a review of Miguel’s treatment plan were conducted to address potential triggers for aggressive behavior

_____________________________________

Risk Assessments: 

Current Risk level: Moderate 

Factors: History of aggression, resistance to treatment, potential for manipulative behavior 

Interventions: Increased monitoring, ongoing assessment for potential triggers 

_____________________________________

Observation Logs: 

Date/Time: 8/16/2102, 2:30 PM

Observation: Miguel exhibited signs of increased irritability during the group mindfulness session. Requested to leave the session prematurely. 

Staff comments: Noted Miguel’s discomfort during mindfulness exercises. Alternative relaxation techniques were explored for future sessions. 

Date/Time: 12/2/2103, 10:00 AM

Observation: Miguel was observed engaging in a one-on-one conversation with staff during morning indoor activities. Discussed personal interests and aspirations. 

Staff comments: Encouraged Miguel’s open communication. Noted his ability to articulate personal interest, fostering a sense of connection with staff. 

Date/Time: 2/15/2104, 6:45 PM 

Observations: Spends most of his time in the facility’s library, engrossed in reading.

Staff Comments: Positive use of leisure time observed. Reading contributed to a sense of routine and engagement. 

Date/Time: 6/23/2104, 8:30 PM 

Observations: Attended the evening group therapy, contributing to discussions on coping strategies. Demonstrated empathy towards a fellow patient sharing personal challenges.

Staff Comments: Noted Miguel’s willingness to engage in group discussions and support peers. Positive progress in developing empathy and interpersonal skills. 

**Miguel O’Hara has exhibited excellent improvement and staff believes he can be released in 2105, instead of 2107.**

_____________________________________

You closed his folder, taking a look at the photo that decorated the front. Like many patients at Nueva York’s Sanctuary for Mental Healing (NYS-MH), Miguel O’Hara didn’t look like a dangerous individual; he was actually quite handsome—with dark, wavy locks that framed his olive, chiseled face and amber eyes shielded by a pair of black eyeglasses; Dr. O’Hara wasn’t a bad-looking guy.

To ponder upon the atrocities, he could have committed for the sake of science was baffling as you gazed at the photo. The more you inspected the image, the happier you became at the fact he was doing better - better enough to be released back into society.

It was why you were here, anyway…

You tucked the folder under your arm and continued your walk towards his room, passing steel doors that lined the corridor, each secured with heavy bolts and reinforced locks to keep the patients contained and prevent them from harming themselves or others. Occasionally, muffled echoes of distant cries and disjointed whispers seeped through the cracks, adding to the unsettling symphony of the troubled minds that dwelled within.

You've walked these halls many times, but there was something about today that really made your skin crawl. So, it was relieving when you finally found Miguel O’Hara’s room, number 209.

Two guards stood on either side of his door, present only for emergencies. With a deep breath and slight adjustments to the white top, black blazer, and bodycon skirt that covered you, you gave each of them a nod and unlocked his door with a key, entering Miguel’s room…

Upon stepping inside, you instantly took notice of the soft, muted tones of blues and greens dominating the color palette, bringing a sense of serenity to the room. The patient's sleeping area contained the normal necessities—a comfortable bed with crisp, clean linens and a modest seating area. The furniture was arranged in an open and uncluttered manner, with personal touches here and there by the patient himself or for safety precautions. 

For his adoration for reading and science, a small shelf was placed inside his room, displaying a few books and a potted plant, offering familiarity to the scientist.

Your eyes shifted to the large, muscular male who sat upon his bed, dressed in a white t-shirt, gray sweatpants, and slip-on shoes. His massive backside faced you as it seemed he was engrossed in writing, his huge hand moving gracefully upon the page he was working on.

You cast a glance at the camera positioned in the corner of the ceiling in his room, placed there for monitoring and to ensure the patient, and others remain safe. After making sure the camera blinks red twice, showing its activity, you approach him with light steps.

"Miguel O’Hara?" you called out to him in a soft voice, not wishing to disrupt him. All of his movements came to a halt, his body rigid as his large hand placed the pen he was using into the open journal before slowly closing it. You watched him set the book down beside him on the bed, wondering if the handsome male you saw on the photo would be the same seated before you.

It seemed you were watching with batted breath for him to turn around and when he did, the sight of him shocked you and made your heart skip a beat.

You knew from his photo, the male would be gorgeous—so attractive that if he weren't your patient, you'd probably gush over him from afar. But it wasn't his attractiveness that made your breath hitch.

He looked completely different.

He looked…

Otherworldly.

With a cold expression, you stared back at a pair of crimson eyes covered with black eyeglasses, a small smile spreading across his tanned lips, revealing a set of sharp canines. “You must be the therapist that is to evaluate me. Right, Querida?” He inquired with a hum, his deep voice holding a Latino accent. 

You gulped at the intensity of his abnormal scarlet orbs, subconsciously clenching his brown folder in your hands and giving him a nod. “Y-Yes, I am,” you replied, stepping back to give the large male room to stand, and when he did…

He was like a giant…

The bed creaked at his ascent as his massive being towered over you, your head tilting up to maintain eye contact. Choking back how intimidated you were, you gestured over to the small seating area of two white cushioned chairs and a table in the corner of his room. “L-Let’s sit over here to talk,” you proposed, and for a moment, he just stood there, gazing down at you like a mere ant before his tight-lipped smile returned.

With an approving grunt, he stepped in front of you; with his powerful, long legs, it took him little to no time to reach the comfort area and settle down into the white chair, the seat creaking under his heavy weight. You followed behind him, moving to sit across from your new patient and shifting into a comfortable position.

When your eyes met the male's, his crimson eyes were already staring at you, lingering upon your body in a way that made you feel like a microbe under a telescope. You gave him a polite smile, shaking off the unsettling feeling that always rose within you when speaking with the patients. “It’s nice to finally meet you, Dr. Miguel O’Hara. My name is Dr. Y/LN, and as you’ve been informed, I am the therapist here to evaluate you for your release.” You explained sweetly, watching every part of the patient, who remained completely motionless, simply continuing to stare back at you with an expression devoid of all emotion.

“It’s nice to see a new face, doctor. It can get rather boring here,” he uttered, using his middle finger to push his black eyeglasses up the bridge of his broad nose.

You placed his folder down upon the table, turning it to not reveal his photo on the front; you've learned from past experiences that the sight tended to worry them. Bringing your legs to cross over each other, you clasped your hands, placing them on your lap. “Boring?” you asked with furrowed brows. “Why don’t we speak about your time here first, Dr. O’Hara? Is that okay with you?” The inquiry left your lips in a soothing tone, one that calmed most patients upon hearing it; but with this patient, you couldn’t quite tell—he hid his emotions too well.

“Well, maybe not boring…repetitive is a better word,” he corrected himself. “But, dear, I’m fine with speaking of my time here.” He replied with a smile, placing his hands upon the armrests and widening his stance. Your eyes drifted to run along his inviting toned thighs adorned by a pair of gray sweatpants that did little to conceal the curves of the muscles underneath. 

You also took notice of his posture; taking a mental note of openness from the patient before you asked your question, “Well then, may I ask how you are doing during morning activities? It's stated that you prefer Creative Arts Therapy in the mornings, correct?”

He nodded, his sharp canines peeking out from between his lips as he spoke. “Indeed, mostly during Creative Arts Therapy, I write,” he explained in a deep voice. “I’ve grown to learn that to better settle my thoughts is to put them on paper.”

“And that is an excellent form of therapy that you’ve discovered for yourself, Dr. O’Hara. May I ask, what exactly do you write?” You asked, trying to ignore the faint sight of madness in his crimson orbs. “I write down my thoughts, ideas, and aspirations,” he simply said. 

You hummed, giving him a smile. “How about future plans? Do you write about those?” At your question, he snickered, giving you a wry, dismissive head shake. “I…don’t write much on that,” he replied. “I’ll hate to get my hopes up,” he added in an amused, yet somewhat disheartened tone.

“Get your hopes up?” you inquired, eyebrows creasing in confusion. “May you elaborate, Dr. O’Hara?” The male nodded, his large fingers stroking the armrest of his chair in a deep caress. “I do not wish to anticipate that I will be released early,” his caresses of the chair never ceasing, and his eyes trained on his moving fingers.

You studied him, taking in his deflated voice and how he spoke in a slow manner. Your gaze shifted to take in the intricate motion his fingers moved upon the armrest as there were multiple reasons a patient would do such a thing.

He could be nervous, frustrated, impatient, or simply doing it to comfort himself. Recalling his mannerisms from previously, you could cross out your thought of him being nervous; the way the scientist carried himself was in a way of confidence that couldn’t be faked, so it left you with the last three—frustration, impatience, or comfort.

Without further observation, you couldn’t pinpoint his reasoning for his odd gesture, instead giving him a soft grin and replying to his previous words of anticipation. “I understand your concerns about getting your hopes up, especially considering that you were rewarded with an early release date based on your wonderful behavior as of late,” you sympathized, “So it’s completely normal to feel cautious about expectations,” you said, taking in the abnormally muscular male before you. 

“But let’s explore these feelings, shall we? Let’s say you are released in the next two weeks; what would your life look like, Dr. O’Hara?” you asked, deeply intrigued by his answer.

A moment of silence filled the room after your inquiry, the doctor continuing to make intricate patterns upon the armrest with his finger before his red eyes returned back to you. A nervous chuckle rumbled from his chest—the sound restoring life back into the room. “Ahh, I always get stumped on that question. It's another reason I haven’t written much about it in my journal.”

You nodded, placing your hands upon your legs. “Well, let’s start small,” you proposed with a grin. “You seem to have taken a liking to the hobby of writing while staying here at NYS-MH. Would you like to expand on that?” Miguel gave you a thoughtful hum, his pointer finger continuing to glide against the armrest of his chair. 

“I’ve…always wanted to write a book.” Your eyes snapped from his fingers to rest upon his chiseled face, surprise and amazement present upon your facial features at his desire. “Oh really? And what would that book be about?”

“Genetics, of course.” He chuckled, the mention of his past interest that caused his descent into madness making your heart skip a beat. Your eyes narrowed, the amazement fading from your being. You leaned back into your chair, keeping your composure.

“Are you still interested in Genetics, Dr. O’Hara?” Your inquiry being met with a nod from the patient, one that he didn’t hesitate on responding with. “I’ve worked in the field for almost my entire life and I’m exceptionally good at it.” He explained with a voice of knowledge in a low, deep whisper. “So why would I abandon my hard-earned skills and education?” 

His reasoning on his maintained attachment to the field was an excellent one, but like many things, it could be a trigger; causing the once cured doctor to revert back to his old ways of sadism and horrendous acts for the sake of science. This potential trigger would not only bring harm to everyone once more but erase the hard work that Miguel had achieved at the mental institution to fix. 

You cleared your throat before speaking. “I…understand your desire to write a book about Genetics. It’s an intriguing subject.” You said, preparing yourself to ask a question that would surely strike the doctor. “But considering the circumstance of your past experiments and the impact they had, how do you plan to approach the topic responsibly?” You asked, watching his reaction closely in anticipation. 

After your question it seemed as if everything stopped—froze even… 

You gazed at Miguel taking in his tanned face that stared back at you. His crimson eyes were empty behind his black frames and his posture was completely still in his seat. 

You’ll think he was a statue…

“Dr. O’Hara?” You called out to him which seemed to snap him from his thoughts. His red eyes slowly shifted to you, his tanned lips pulling into a small smile. 

“Responsibility, my dear therapist, is such a heavy word…” He said with a smirk. “But I wish to ask, what compelled you to work with the mental? It’s a challenging profession for those with weaker minds.” Miguel said, casting an odd aura upon the room with his every word. “I should know…many say they are for the discovery of science and when the time presents itself, they get cold feet.” He stated, his finger ceasing its movement upon the armrest. 

It wasn't unusual for a patient to desire to ask you a question, but the way he gazed at you with his intense eyes and how his gravelly voice caused a shiver to run down your spine made you hesitant, which the patient seemed to have noticed. “I only ask since you handle your job so beautifully.” He complimented, his eyes taking in your seated position. “I only wish to know what led you here before me.” The words left the patient’s lips in an ominous manner, however, upon saying such a thing his olive face held a smile that could melt anyone’s heart.

His fanged grin, oddly, sent a wave of warmth through your being and caused you to forget your reply to his question. You shifted in your seat, trying to keep your composure and recall your departed answer. “W-well, I…umm… entered this field by the simple fact of being interested in psychology a-and the way the mind works.” You replied once you found the words, unable to hide the stammering of your voice due to how unnerving everything was becoming. Miguel nodded slowly, running his tongue along the tip of his fang, the action drawing your attention. 

“Your interest in the subject of the mind is rather…fascinating.” Abruptly, he leaned up in his seat, resting his elbows upon his knees and invading your personal space. Your heart skipped a beat at his suddenness and at being able to see just how abnormal and captivating his scarlet eyes and sharp fangs were; it caused goosebumps to rise upon your skin at the mere sight. 

“I imagine I must seem like a puzzle that’s meant to be solved by you, don’t I, dear?” He asked, his gaze never letting up and keeping its intensity. Due to his closeness, you almost missed his inquiry, but upon detecting it, it surprised you. Hastily, you shook your head, dismissing his ideology and rejecting his notion. “N-No, I wouldn’t exactly describe you in that way, Dr. O’Hara.” You swiftly replied. 

“You wouldn’t?” He asked, his voice low and slow. “So, how would you describe me, Doctor?” He grinned, the fluorescent lights of his room bouncing off his sharp fangs as his eyes were filled with a hint of amusement, though it was impossible to ignore how it seemed he was toying with you. 

“I…see individuals, like you, as people who have become lost in the darkness and just need assistance in finding the light once more.” You stated, his eyebrow raising and a chuckle escaping him at your answer. “A bold claim…” He said, his eyes tracing your figure and lingering upon how tightly you were now grasping your skirt.  

“For a little thing like you…” 

Miguel muttered imperceptibly that you almost didn't hear him. “E-Excuse me?” You asked in shock and with furrowed eyebrows causing the patient to snicker, shaking his head. “Just that your view is a unique way of thinking and a…intriguing one, in fact.” He said, leaning back in his chair and adopting a relaxed position once more. 

“It’s really fascinating how intellectual you are, doctor.” He grinned. “Few possess the ability to navigate the labyrinth of thoughts of the mental. I applaud you on that.” Miguel praised, returning back to running his palm along the white armrest whilst giving you his undivided attention. 

In your gut, you knew his recalling of the statement said previously was false, you were certain he said something that was out of the norm. 

But could you have mistaken? 

You took in his face, taking note of how he gazed at you. The scientist was attractive, and normally during your job you were able to ignore that appealing quality and complete the task at hand, but right now, it seems impossible. 

The way his red eyes ran along your body like he was undressing you, made you blush. You couldn’t explain it, but you were stuck between your desires and your sense of reason. 

You were aware of Miguel’s sadistic mannerisms and how there could be a chance he wasn’t fully well as he lets on, it was why you were here, but the longer you spoke with him, the more the task at hand was leaving you. 

However, you couldn’t shake the feeling of unease he gave you at times. 

“M-May I ask how have you been feeling lately? Any changes?” You asked, changing the topic and settling your eyes upon Miguel once more to see him smirking. “It’s all been the same, doctor.” He began. “We have group therapies on Wednesday, daily morning activities and indoor activities…” He said, wetting his lips with the swipe of his tongue, the sight causing the tips of your ears to burn red. 

Sometime while he was speaking, you shamefully zoned out to taking in how sexy he looked. 

His white shirt tightly hugged his body, giving one a view of his hardened nipples, defined pecs, and washboard abs. Every curve of muscle was accentuated under the white fabric that teased anyone who saw. The muscles of his legs pressed against his gray sweatpants, and your eyes widened slightly at being able to make out the enormity that rested against his thigh.  The sight causing you to bite your lip…

“Querida?” 

The sexy patient called out to you, snapping you from your trance. “Y-Yes!?” You inquired, clearing your throat and taking a more assertive and relaxed position to try and dismiss your previous lack of professionalism. Miguel snickered. “It seemed you were off somewhere else…and here I thought that was my job.” He joked, causing you to chuckle nervously. 

“M-My apologies. You may continue.” You replied, wishing to proceed as if none of that happened. Miguel smirked, his crimson eyes roaming along your body before his finger began to tap upon the armrest.

“In my leisure, I write in my journal, read, or tend to my plant.” He finished, keeping it short and gesturing to the bookshelf in the room that held a pot of beautiful flowers. You smiled seeing how the black flowers bloomed upon the shelf. 

“May I ask, what is it that you write in your journal?” You asked, looking back at him to see his eyebrows furrowed. “It wouldn’t be ethical if I asked what you write in your diary, would it, doctor?” He inquired, causing you to instantly become regretful of your words. You casted him an apologetic look. “M-My apologies, I didn’t mean to intrude.” 

“No…it’s fine. Your fascination is interesting…” He trailed off, a tap of his finger following your words. You glanced back over at his plant once more, the flower really captivating you. “The plant is family to the Solanaceaes.” Miguel answered before you could even ask, looking over at you as you continued to inspect the plant from your seat. “Hmm…I’ve never seen a plant like this.” 

“Because this plant, in particular, is very rare.” He explained. “Native to South America, The Angel Trumpet, is a very rare find.” Miguel said with a fanged grin. “It’s why I made it mandatory that it was brought with me when I was assigned at NYS-MH.” 

You stared in awe at the abnormally black flower. This was your first time seeing a plant of pitch blackness that hadn’t already withered away, but Miguel’s next words grabbed your attention. 

“But one day while tending to my flowers, I hit an…epiphany of sorts.”  Miguel told you, causing you to cock your head in puzzlement. 

His words intrigued you…

“May I ask what epiphany you reached, Dr. O’Hara?” At your question, Miguel gave you a look of appreciation and sincerity. “I understand that upon my arrival, I wasn’t…in the best state of mind.” He said with a sigh. “But after being here, I feel like I’m ready.” 

“Ready for what?” You asked, bringing a small smile to his lips. “I…believe I’m ready to see the world again.” He answered, giving you a genuine look of certainty. 

His realization filled you with gratification. You reached for his brown folder, believing he had, indeed, improved. The first major step for the patient was seeing that they were initially unwell, which the patient had achieved. 

“I’m greatly pleased with your recognition of this epiphany of yours, Dr. O’Hara.” You said, holding his folder in your hands. “But I believe you are ready to answer some more serious questions.” You said, glancing up at him. “Are you ready?” You asked, seeking permission of his state of mind before proceeding. 

With a nod from Miguel, you opened his folder, pulling out a few of his documents to begin asking more serious questions regarding them. “I’ve noticed in your next of kin that you asked for them to not be aware of your mental treatment.” You began, looking up at Miguel to see him already gazing back at you, his crimson orbs trained on you. The sight made your heart flutter. “M-May I ask how you would cope on the outside without your familial relations knowing of t-the treatments and necessary tools you've learned whilst being here?” At your inquiry, Miguel’s face hardened, his crimson eyes darkening.

“Well, you see, my dear therapist, family can be a bit…overwhelming.” He uttered, tapping his finger against the armrest once more like a metronome; his eye contact never breaking. “I’ve decided to take a more independent route for now.” He explained in a deep, slow voice. “But friends, colleagues—people who don't burden me with unnecessary questions about the past are who I seek.” He said, his voice holding a hint of coldness as his jaw clenched. 

“Because, it’s important to focus on the present and the future, rather than the past, don’t you think…

Doctor?” 

You gulped, his words seeming to have you in a vice. It was as if he had some kind of control over you, all of the rules and regulations you learned whilst being an evaluation therapist at NYS-MH faded from your mind. You couldn’t figure out what you found so enticing about him. 

Was it the way he looked or behaved? How he seemed to speak with such intellect in a tone of voice that could lull one to sleep?   

You were puzzled…

But you were certain something was happening, and it was greatly affecting you and your ability to think clearly. 

You hesitantly nodded, clenching his folder and feeling your cheeks redden once again.  “T-That is correct.” You agreed, not believing what you were saying. “I would understand your desire to look past your previous mistakes and move forward.” You uttered, trying to keep your attention on the patient. 

“Indeed…Mistakes.” He smirked, a small chuckle passing his lips, his finger seeming to tap against the armchair after your words. Your eyes looked from his hand and to his face, studying how his coffee-brown locks blowned gently in the breeze from the vent overhead, and to his defined cheekbones and broad nose that made him even more captivating… 

 “Have any more questions for me, doctor?” 

You jumped at his inqury, noticing you were just staring at him. 

What the hell was wrong with you?!

A little disheveled, you fumbled through the folder for the next pages of information you sought, picking up his documents on his treatment plan of medications and his incident reports. “Umm…I-I wanted to ask about your medications.” You began, wetting your lips and holding the papers up to hide behind them. “T-There were two occurrences where you refused to take your medication. M-may I ask why you refused?” You asked, peeking around the paper to see the patient adjust his black eyeglasses upon his face along with the repeated thudding of his finger upon the chair. 

“I must ask, how would you feel if someone took away your identity?” 

“W-what?!” You asked in surprise, lowering the pages hastily. A laugh rumbled from his broad chest, giving you a clear view of his otherworldly fangs that made the pit of your stomach twist into knots. “You heard me, doctor.” He stated in a manner that was to be amusing but only made one disturbed. 

“What if someone was trying to force you to be someone else? Someone you are not?” He asked, causing you to chew your inner cheek and ponder his question. “I…I guess I wouldn’t like that.” 

“Indeed…” He replied. “Any creature would despise the fact of forced transformation of oneself. It’s the reason you cannot simply change a savage tiger to being a tamed kitten in your home.” The dark-haired male explained. “It’s because a tiger would always cling to its savage ways, it's what keeps them alive—it’s what they enjoy.”  

“That’s…a great analogy, Dr. O’Hara.” 

“Why thank you, dear.” Miguel replied with a smirk before his old expression shifted to hold furrowed eyebrows and a frown—a set of facial features that instantly tugged at your heart. “But…the true reason I refused my medication was because…” He heaved a deep sigh, biting his lip. “The depressants make me sleepy and tired all the time, and…the idea of having to depend on medicine to stabilize my irritability and emotions is rather disheartening to me.” He said in a sorrowful voice. “I refused them because I believe I can be better without them.” 

You listened closely to his words, taking note of his concerns and feeling rather empathetic. “In all honesty, how would you explain your current mental health condition?” You asked, placing your compassionate eyes upon him. 

He gave you a heartfelt smile, one that made your heart soar. “Like I said previously, I feel better, Doctor.” Miguel said in genuinely. “I’ve seen the errors in my ways and am deeply disgusted by what I’ve done to innocent individuals…t-too myself.” He said, looking away at the ground in shame. 

“I wish to return back into society and start anew.” He replied. “Be the man that I’ve wanted to be—not some madman who allowed his idea to get too out of hand that led to the deaths of innocence.” Miguel professed to you with an emotional and hearty voice. 

You nodded slowly as you noticed his scarlet eyes flicker down to your hands that held the brown folder. “Doctor���

May I?” 

Dr. O’Hara asked, extending his large, calloused hand to you, seeking your palm. Your eyes widened, thickly gulping and looking back up to meet his red orbs that seemed to suck you in—enticing you to take it. 

Physical connection with patients were strictly forbidden, but the sadden look of desperation upon his face led you to take his hand. You placed the brown folder upon the table before resting your hand in his large palm, and instantly yours looked to have shrunken in size. With a fluttering heart and belly, you met his eyes and instantly melted under his crimson eyes. 

“Please, Cariño. I assure you, I’ll be on my best behavior.”  

The patient affirmed, giving your hand an affectionate squeeze, following his heartfelt promise. Your breath caught in your throat at his genuine gaze and words. 

From his evaluation, you couldn’t help but agree that he was ready…

He didn’t utter a word of sadism or show signs of insanity, revealing his first diagnosis of Psychopathy was treated or can be suppressed. He exhibited signs of sympathy for his victims, and also didn’t become angry at triggering questions, displaying that his second diagnosis of antisocial personality disorder was also cured or treated. 

Like he said…

Dr. Miguel O’Hara was ready. 

You gave him a small smile, placing your free hand atop of his as Miguel’s eyes shifted down to your kind gesture and back onto your face. “Okay…I believe you.” You said, caressing his knuckles with your thumb. “I’ll be sure to send in your evaluation report that you are good to go.” You told him, but as an evaluation therapist you weren’t supposed to say, but you couldn’t stop the words from spilling from your mouth. 

Giving him a departed smile, you released his hands and collected your things. His touch still burned into your skin and left you yearning for more of him. 

You felt his abnormal eyes on you as you went to the door. Suddenly, upon putting your hand on the doorknob, a cold shiver ran down your back—one that instantly made you come to a halt. Your eyebrows furrowed at the unsettling sensation, causing you to bite your lip in nervousness.

“And Miguel…” You called out to him, using his name and looking over your shoulder at the dark-haired male. His tanned, chiseled face held an expression of hidden joy and interest as he turned towards you, his attention captured by your call whilst he remained seated in his chair

You clenched the folder tightly, hastily shifting your gaze to meet his scarlet eyes—the previous feeling of discomfort and unease vanishing.

“I-I hope you keep your word.” You said in a voice full of reverence. Miguel returned your words with a reassuring smirk, his sharp canines poking from over his bottom lip. 

“You have my word, Doctor.  I’ll be on my best behavior.” 

After turning in Dr. Miguel O'Hara’s evaluation report and going home, the scientist was still on your mind.

The way the doctor looked at you with his beautiful red eyes from behind his black spectacles, with a gaze of interest, to the fanged smiles and smirks he gave you—merely thinking about it made your cheeks redden.

You bit your lip, feeling a need to cure this desire for him, but you decided to push it away. You couldn’t feel this way about him…

You couldn’t…

…

..

But you did…

Extremely…

You lay under the blankets of your bed, tossing and turning as every time you closed your eyes to sleep, he would fill your mind. 

Especially the glimpse you got of his package. 

How his massive member was accentuated underneath the gray fabric of his sweatpants, revealing how thick and long he was. 

The remembrance made you drool… 

It had been forever since you’d touched yourself. Being a therapist at a mental facility was a rather time-consuming job, and you weren’t really interested in the many men who tried to get your attention.

Until him… 

Why did it have to be him of all people? 

It was a guilty pleasure, that was for sure—to have fallen so hard for this doctor, your patient who had many wounds that still needed healing.

But oddly, his wounds only pulled you in even more…

You bit your lip, allowing your hands to begin roaming along your body, imagining they were his calloused ones—remembering how his large hands practically engulfed yours when holding his hand, and how rough they felt.

Oh, how good it would feel if they were the ones touching you. 

Giving your clothed breasts a squeeze through your shirt, you moaned softly. Despite his past of being sadistic and cruel to others, you imagined him being gentle with you—caressing your body and touching you in a way that stole your breath every time. You arched your back as your thumb barely flicked over your pebbled nipples, drawing a whimper from your lips.

Your panties were heavily drenched in your juices due to your core's insistent pleas for stimulation and touch. Finally satisfying yourself, with a sharp tug, you pulled your panties down, freeing your pulsating pussy. 

You breathed a sigh of relief, hastily getting into a comfortable position on your back and allowing your legs to fall apart. With closed eyes, you allowed thoughts of Dr. O'Hara to guide your movements. 

His massive hand ran along your abdomen, teasing you with his skilled fingertips and trailing lower. A gasp escaped your lips as your fingers brushed softly along your throbbing bud and soppy folds, spreading your juices along the sensitive area.

You imagined Dr. O'Hara above you, his red eyes gleaming in the moonlight as he smirked down at you, pressing his large middle finger into your entrance. You moaned, feeling his finger filling your tight walls. 

Whimpers escaped your lips at how good his finger felt inside of you, your back arching in desire for more of him. His smirk broadened at your eagerness, as he slowly drew his finger out to the tip before pushing back in, quickly finding a rhythm and keeping at it with each thrust.

Your toes curled, burying your face in your inner elbow as you continued to finger your wet pussy, wishing Dr. O'Hara was here, but imagining would have to do. It wasnt long before a heat began to pool in your lower belly, your breathing picking up. 

"Taking my fingers so well, dear," Dr. O'Hara whispered into your ear, gently nipping along your lobe and throat, his fangs grazing your skin. You whined into your arm, his fingers picking up speed and hooking just right inside your pussy, bringing you to your blissful end. 

With a loud cry, your thighs trembled horribly as your juices spilled in hot spurts, soaking your hand and the sheets underneath. 

Your eyes fluttered close, trying to overcome the buzz that overwhelmed your body after your release. It took a moment, but when you caught your breath and your vision settled, you withdrew your fingers from your pussy, casting your eyes upon them to see that they, not Dr. O'Hara's, were covered in your juices. You exhaled in disappointment. 

Despite how good it felt imagining it was him, you couldn't help wanting Dr. O'Hara in the physical…

"I imagine I must seem like a puzzle that’s meant to be solved by you, don’t I, dear?" 

As you lay there, still tinglinh from your pleasurable moment, his words filled your head, leaving you to ponder his question once more. 

Did you believe him to be a puzzle that only you could solve? In the moment, you said no, but deep down, you wanted nothing more than to thoroughly fix him.

Like many patients upon being released, they still faced numerous challenges, including reentering society, finding a job, and avoiding triggers, after departing from NYS-MH.

He was going to need help, and with all your heart, you wanted to be there for him. 

And you were going to. 

No matter what…

A/N: I hope you all enjoyed the first part of 'Tangled in his Webs.' 😆I really enjoyed writing Miguel in this persona as it was different and honestly fun, especially with him being a darker character. It was rather new for me writing in this manner, despite some challenges here and there, I'm overall proud of the outcome and I hope you are too!

@migueloharacumslut, thanks so much for the request, and I hope you are even more happier that it's to be more than one part, lol. But once again, thank you for reading, hope you enjoyed!

Make sure to like, comment, reblog, and follow! If you'd like to add a request to the kink series, Entangled Desire, or have an idea in general, just message me or submit an ask. I hope you all have a wonderful day and stay safe! 💙💙

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[glasskey]

Episode 6 - "Love Letter"

To say the recent bust up of Nick and June was seismic would be completely underselling it. From the beginning these 2 were no ordinary tv couple and this break up has a litany of facets to it, making it far more complex than most. I’ll be honest the mechanics that were employed by these writers left me vacillating between nauseous and enraged ever since it occurred. For those lining up to criticize the emotional investment in this romance, stay with me. I’m not arguing whether or not associated issues of fascism and patriarchal power are legitimate, my beef is HOW and WHEN these were made, why the fuck it wasn’t done earlier and WHY they dressed this character and connection up as something completely different.

These last few weeks have been a flood of what I can only term “damage control” in the press due to the episodes of The Handmaids Tale regarding Nick and Junes break up. Clearly the writers underestimated the audiences attachment to the couple and complexities involved in breaking them up. They clearly underestimated the brutal response that they would receive at trying to villainise one of their fan favourites in the final hours, and they deeply underestimated the anger which would be levelled not at the character but at themselves for it. Years of experience should have told them that sudden changes / reveals in beloved characters, in the final hours are received poorly. This type of character change was similarly lambasted in GOT, and for some strange reason they had not learnt. These writers also misjudged greatly the intricacies of this romance, and the consequences of the mechanics that they used to bring it to a close.

The writers and show runners bear full culpability for the audiences devotion to these two and the ensuing tsunami of disappointment at their break up. They bear the entirety of the blame for the damage that has been done and the anger they have received. They used every possible mechanic to construct an exquisite and epic love story, fanned the flames of it’s popularity right up until the last possible moment, dragged it out for ratings and then ended it in possibly the most callous way I’ve ever seen. They cast the participants as star crossed lovers separated by the regime for 5 years and then tried to swiftly rewrite the underlying mechanics of their relationship entirely in the final season. They used the slaughter of vulnerable women as an excuse to sever a relationship with a brutal finality, under the guise that it was a statement about soft fascism. By placing the murder of these women at such a quintessential moment in the series history, they lost all hope that any constructive dialogue would be undertaken about these women’s sacrifice for patriarchal power. They stole away its space as viewers became fixated on the seismic occurrence between the two after years of waiting. How could the writers be so shortsighted? We’d been told that this relationship would be brought to a “satisfying conclusion” during the course of this season, is this what they meant? I was horrified. In the following weeks writers then had the audacity to act surprised that audiences would feel angry and betrayed by a needlessly drawn out love triangle and the accompanying press that had baited them for years. What the fuck did they think was going to happen? These people either knew what they were doing for years, or they entered into this season having changed course radically. No matter which way you slice it, the method of this take down, made them look either incompetent, ignorant, cruel or all of the above. I think about the pages and pages of romantically laced PR released by writers and show runners to actively encourage the belief in this union and I feel physically ill that they would actually construct something so emotionally manipulative.

Lines of dialogue used by characters during the final analysis of this relationship, contained references to the fact that they’d reduced the character of Nick and Nick and June’s relationship to one of simple necessity, lust and physical attraction. This was after years of firmly establishing a loving, emotional connection with a fully fleshed out character. It turned the writers exercise in “enlightenment” about soft fascism, into a pointed thinly veiled accusation of superficiality. Fans of the two who were ENCOURAGED to believe in the genuine nature of both this character and their relationship, were now being accused in the most underhanded manner, of being nothing but pathetic “fan girls”. For years writers had delivered Nick and June’s love story as one of “love between the barricades”, but they were now suddenly stating that both the protagonist and the audience were blind to soft fascism as long as it came in attractive packaging. It was the equivalent of luring the audience with a genuinely beautiful love story and then accusing them of condoning fascism, simply because they had been naive enough to BELIEVE them and become entangled in it. The fact is, you don’t get to package something up like a Hallmark greeting card, and criticise your audience for appreciating it, when you decide you want to rebrand the whole thing. It is little wonder that audiences were seething with indignant rage.

From season 1 we’d been told that Blaine had forsaken his own happiness to care for his family, was loyal and caring and was manipulated and targeted for this regime. We’d been told repeatedly in the press that he was a “good man” riddled with regret. A Blaine that was made to perform heinous acts (often at June’s behest or for her benefit), surveilled and entrapped. A Blaine that had endangered his own life to help others, a man who had to sneak around for the chance to HOLD HIS OWN CHILD…… and I was now being asked to believe that this same man had full autonomy all along. Writers had constantly labeled Blaine the only “Good man in Gilead” with Tuello calling him an “honorable man” in the final moments of season 5. NOW I was being asked to accept that he’d actually been an ambitious ladder climbing fascist the entire time, refusing to leave, dripping in Nazi war spoils. A free man does not have to marry a child bride while the woman he loves watches on. That's just not a fucking thing. I always enjoyed Blaine as the noir drenched assassin, slipping into no mans land covertly to visit Osborne, trade intel and slaughter the odd foe. But this weak, pathetic, greedy, dutiful yes man was just a sad shadow of his former ambiguous complexity. After seasons and seasons of building him to be nuanced, writers reduced him to nothing more than a 2 dimensional, egomaniacal, self indulgent, spoilt brat and claimed he’d just been keeping it well hidden all along. Fucking please.

The sudden twisting of Blaine’s acts of sacrifice into one’s of selfishness defy belief. Suddenly everything he’s ever done has been simply to possess her…..including helping her escape….twice….and that file about Hannah….which he never thought he’d give to her in person. I mean at least make this shit believable. Instead of the “good man” we’d been led to believe Blaine was for the last 5 seasons, I was now being asked to believe that there was nothing he wouldn’t do to save his own skin. Worse still, the writers actually thought it would be believable that Osborne had the right to judge him for the death of any innocents on the path to survival. Excuse me? In season 2 June demanded Blaine sleep with his 15 year old child bride, because “I can’t lose you”. While Eden had given consent, she was a minor and technically this constituted rape at Osborne's behest, for the sake of keeping Blaine alive. In season 4 when Osborn poisoned a swathe of commanders at a Jezebels, she was well aware, from former experience that Gilead would clean house. She did it anyway. She handed over the handmaids to ensure Hannahs safety, even though the idea that a High commanders daughter would actually be sacrificed was utterly ludicrous. The audacity of Osborne now stomping her feet self righteously, forsaking Blaine after previously ordering him to rape and murder for her, was absolutely unbelievable. June has more blood on her hands than most and quite often the casualties of her personal war are innocents. The multitude of Marthas and Jezebels killed in the course of Osborne's crusades caused a Martha to warn Blaine in season 4 “you’re better off without her, everyone who helps her ends up on the fucking wall”. He’s ignored repeated warnings not to get sucked into cyclone Osborne and doubtless he’ll end up paying the price. In season 2 Blaine recited Corinthians to Osborn as a reassurance that he loved her, in season 4 he recited The Armor of God to her to give her fortitude as she underwent torture. At the end of episode 7 Osborn recited Psalm 23 as a pointed message about having the fortitude to kill Blaine. It’s just one in a swathe of examples of how writers have made a swift about face in this character relationship, and I for one will not sit idly by and have it fed to me as though it was some sort of pre determined natural progression. I remain unconvinced that Blaine would have ever chosen Gilead above June, and I’m basing that opinion on years and years of plot lines, character information, and press releases that were FED TO ME by the writers. I am not alone. I also don’t believe that spilling the beans to Wharton about Mayday’s plot when cornered and terrified, constitutes making a free autonomous choice about loyalties. Um no. That’s like saying that coercive control equals full autonomy, and that's just not a thing I’m afraid. Nick Blaine is by nature a planner and honestly, I’m a bit fucking sus about the whole thing given that Blaine had passports and papers all good to go for he and Osborne to leave permanently……call me crazy but fleeing the country doesn’t really scream loyalist. He also dropped everything on the one day he was meant to get up and perform for Gilead, in 6 03 to come running to her. The fact was he chose her, and ultimately she’d chosen him too, they were a breath away from leaving, but yet again Gilead fucked them.

June returned to Luke after the horrific incident in episode 7, having had her autonomy in the decision between these two men completely stripped from her by a mans actions. Once again nothing more than an archaic love triangle. In episode 6 she was a breath away from dumping said hubby and running off with Nick, and any “Team Luke” fans should actually be pretty pissed off, that the best that these writers could serve them was some paltry left overs after everything with Nick went sideways. It was also all a bit distasteful and pathetic that she practically crawled back to him in the same episode, after an ugly and humiliating confrontation. In front of a room full of strangers Luke had yelled at her for being “in love with a Nazi”. Ironically not several episodes prior Luke had called Nick “bro” and hugged the man for saving him. Now he was actually berating his wife for trusting and loving a man who had cared for and ensured her survival for years. I was stunned by the hypocrisy and quite frankly I was just utterly confused as to what the writers message was. Was he a fascist or not?

The majority of the audience have not viewed this marriage as a realistically sustainable nor healthy bond for years. Despite the writers efforts to reconnect them, most audience members have viewed their efforts as less like rebuilding and more like constant attempts to resuscitate. The fact that Luke and June had failed to discuss June still being in love with Nick for years, did nothing to testify to the health of communication in their marriage. These writers seem to be confused between what exactly they are trying to depict; a thinly veiled reflection of reality or a fictional scenario, because in the real world the chances of June and Luke’s marriage being intact, statistically are absolutely fucking zero. You combine the loss of a child, separation for nearly a decade, the love for another partner and deep trauma, and the math is clear. In reality Nick would not be running to and fro across the border either, he’d have been discovered and shot by Gilead for being a traitor years ago. Luke and June’s marriage is a rampant fantasy legitimised as somehow an actual reality, if it has merit, then so too does the scenario where Nick and June get to run away to Hawaii, and that’s been painted as a complete daydream.

In the end if the writers intention is that June be alone, I’ve no doubt it will be framed as her “finding the strength to stand alone”, but given that these two relationships are being whittled down to such pathetic options, it’s hardly a “feminist” outcome to give her little recourse.

After the disaster with Nick it seemed unbelievable that the actual Architect of Gilead was then paraded out to scold her for her poor judgment. Ironically he seemed pretty buddy buddy with the person who’d admitted involvement in the death of his beloved Eleanor (oops there’s another body Osborne). June composed herself and joined forces with THE most complicit individual in the construction of Gilead, responsible for the murder and enslavement of millions of women, happily rearranging her plans without hesitation. This not only put a gaping hole in the protagonists (and writers) reasoning for cutting ties with Blaine, but also proved his point entirely and almost immediately, about her not giving a shit about the dirty side of patriarchal power, as long as it served her purposes.

Meanwhile Mayday and Luke, not 15 minutes earlier, having unleashed scorn on Osborn for being stupid enough to trust a commander, allowed Lawrence to calmly stroll into their camp and were now gathered around detailing their next super secret mission to him. The SAME commander that had foiled their attempt to retrieve Hannah in season 5 and told June point blank that he wasn’t giving her daughter back. The SAME commander who had told Blaine that it was okey dokey if they took pot shots at her. This was a fucking joke right? Osborn seemed happy to selectively kill commanders leaving Lawrence as the last man standing, but what did she think Lawrence was going to do with New Bethlehem? Was she actually naive enough to think that he wouldn’t go straight back to his old world building ways? Did Holly’s words “They’re all like that!” just apply to Nick when scolding her naivety about the nature of commanders? Exactly how selective was this messaging to audiences going to be? This character arc of Blaine’s feels personal, and how could it not when he seems to be being held up to an entirely different moral standard than all the others in the room? I couldn’t help but suspect that the entire thing was simply a manipulation to correct previous character construction, while disposing of a contender in a love triangle of their own making, who was persisting to dog the writers.

If the characters relationships weren’t consistent, why on earth would I believe that character constructs were? Particularly when all of a sudden out of the blue the writers were claiming the right to cite character information that they’d neglected to mention for years. If the character construct of Blaine, a central character in the protagonists life, wasn’t consistent, who’s to say any of the others were? Why would audiences accept these schizophrenic maneuverings as cannon? I watched as the audiences disbelief rippled outwards, calling into question all of the characters and their plot lines and inevitably causing the 4th wall to crumble. Suddenly they wanted answers, and as well they might.

What’s to say that Naomi wasn’t about to suddenly sprout horns and start running around her parlour room giggling manically? Perhaps Serena could start inviting June and Rita over for scones and tea…..oh hang on. Apparently Luke came out of jail magically transformed from essentially a bookworm to a wannabe revolutionary. Certainly it’s very valid that he actively wants to be involved in the retrieval of his daughter but the fact is for the last 5 seasons the man never dipped toe over the border. He had to be extricated from his house in Canada under threat of arrest, still refusing to take the impending threat from Gilead seriously even after his wife was run over right outside the front door. Now suddenly he’s tinkering with explosives, something he has no experience with and shown absolutely no aptitude for. I would have bought it if they’d just given him a chart, a map or some authority to delegate because by nature he’s clearly a very capable strategist. It would have also gone a long way to establishing him as an individual with some inner strength, instead of merely June’s shadow. Now here we have Nick vaulting from dark guardian to a self interested traitor lurking under the protagonists nose…despite all evidence to the contrary….for 5 long seasons. Yep, sounds legit.

Minghella recently gave an interview stating that now he felt as though he’d been playing his character incorrectly all along given his current transformation. It’s extremely telling that the actor themselves has been completely blindsided by last minute character developments that re alter their perception of the character they’ve inhabited for years. The character that they were given meticulous direction for throughout the last 5 seasons. The evidence of which lies in detailed scripting notes for the entire world to see. I don’t believe these writers when they say that this was always their intent to deliver this transition all along, and neither should he. I don’t know how emotionally invested he was in this character but I do know that if you feel that after years of effort and work, you should have done your job differently, it must fucking hurt. I’ll say this right now, this won’t be any failing on his part. If they planned it and didn’t entirely fill him in on character aspects, then it’s on them, if they changed his character in the final hours, then it’s on them. A large portion of the audience seem to feel betrayed and I wouldn’t blame Minghella for feeling the same. Like any actor would, he’s dutifully towed the line about what “a bold and interesting choice” this all was, I think that’s being incredibly kind, which seems on brand. A self confessed romantic, he stated that he’d always viewed the romance as a source of light but now he viewed it under a more nihilistic lens. This really was the most polite way I’ve ever heard anyone say that something beautiful had been turned it into a smoking fucking wreck. The image of Blaine and Osborne holding their child together at the end of season 2 and in 4 09 will be burned forever into my psyche. The shot of them standing in that golden window naming their daughter, dreaming of a better life, is forever suspended in amber. And I’ll be fucked if I let them snatch it back, all the while mocking me for ever believing any of it was real. Not on my watch. If they wanted me to see a weak willed, duplicitous, monster, then they shouldn’t have draped him in loyalty, love, righteous justice and yearning for years. They built him over 5 seasons, and now they want to hastily reconstruct him over 10 short episodes? Well it’s too late. These writers should have known better than to simply think they could rewrite history and get away with it. Personally I’m not surprised that fans circled the writers like a bunch of vicious handmaids at a Salvaging. I’m not debating whether or not Nick has benefited from patriarchal power. He has, that’s just a fact. You’re a man in Gilead, you benefit, it’s a patriarchal society…..and so is ours….which is kind of the point. See the difference here is merely in degrees, and we’re having a mirror mashed into our faces. Just a shame that they failed to truly establish that image of him in earlier seasons, in fact they made pains to edit out parts of his persona and instead constructed a portrait of the dark, romantic protector. Now they’re wondering why people are confused. The fact was that he’d moved well beyond his role as merely a driver and an eye, a simple cog in the wheel, and was now acting as the hand that turned it. He’d been a commander for years, yet writers continued to label him as “a good man in Gilead”, insinuating that he was the exception to the rule. Now in the final season they wanted to undo this entire image, giving the majority of the audience whiplash. They wanted to backtrack and say “we know we called him a Good man in Gilead for FIVE SEASONS, but here’s all this other shit we forgot to tell you about”. It’s just not good enough. Suddenly the writers were screaming phrases like “Nazi” and “fascist” about a character they themselves had painted as extremely benevolent throughout the years, opening fans of the duo to online “Pro fascism” criticism, when they’d simply been following the writers own cues about the character for years. What the actual fuck?

This relationship has established itself as a thematically timeless love story, over 5 seasons and now they expected audiences to detach from that in the space of 4 short episodes. In the process they have also in effect poisoned this entire, beautiful love story that they worked so hard to construct right down through the seasons, making rewatches excruciating if not impossible. They were like a port in the storm and with this one act, they took it all away leaving nothing but death, darkness, betrayal and PTSD. I also sensed that writers would not be content with the brutal severing of this relationship, they were seeking to convince audiences that Blaine’s love for June had never actually been genuine. Instead it had been a selfish desire to posses her, much like Fred’s. Blaine stood up and declared in episode 6 08 at Serena’s wedding that Rose’s child was his “mine own child first and forever”, effectively relinquishing his parentage over Holly. I was disgusted. These writers would not be content until the last vestiges of this union were dead. This cold severing of any parental bond served the writers as a "deal breaker" for the relationship. With Blaine now having disowned his own child, writers would be guaranteed that the audience saw him as a monster and easily hop on board with the protagonist trying to kill the father of her child, whom she’d loved for years. This will of course be presented to the audience as “a final test of strength” but it’s not, it’s a disturbing depiction of domestic violence being justified under the guise of righteous justice. At the beginning of the season the writers and show runners had claimed this season was “for the fans” but they knew full well that at least 80% were invested in this character and duo and THAT is entirely on them. I don’t know how they convinced themselves that the majority of fans would want to see these two broken up because they couldn’t have been clearer about it for years and years. Fans have also been begging for Blaine to be moved underground for years as well and I seriously doubt that’s ever going to happen. So no, it’s not for the fans, it’s for the writers. The writers who’d fucked up and decided at the last minute to try and fix their mistake. It’s for the writers, so they could console themselves in the last few short episodes that they did their duty of pointing out the soft fascist in the room after feeding their audience the very opposite of it for years. It’s for the writers so hell bent on covering up their mistake that they want to erase it entirely by rewriting history. I have no doubt that they thought they were being “edgey” and clever by having the two pitted against one another this season, but let’s face it, it has simply served to highlight some serious fundamental shortcomings. This is not a “love letter”, this is not even the apology they owe their audience for this incredible campaign to gaslight them, this is more like a finger in the mail. I'm a pragmatist so I actually never expected the two of them to end up together, but neither did I expect this absolute annihilation of their relationship and ridiculous character assassination in the eleventh hour.

[greetingscowpoke]

“Vengeance is mine, and recompense, for the time when their foot shall slip; for the day of their calamity is at hand, and their doom comes swiftly." ~Deuteronomy 32:35

An Analysis of Micah’s Revolvers-

Micah wields two identical revolvers, engraved with the words "Vengeance is hereby mine." This could be a reference to biblical passage Deuteronomy 32:35, which reads: "Vengeance is mine, and recompense, for the time when their foot shall slip; for the day of their calamity is at hand, and their doom comes swiftly."

This verse can be read to mean that justice (or retribution) will come to those who have wronged "God," and that a person will eventually meet their demise.

Not only is this a common theme in revisionist Western films and media, but it also provides some insight into Micah Bell as a character and antagonist.

Micah has a very simplistic and apathetic view of the world. He does not prescribe to faith or morality, and often mocks such things.

In his mind, there are only winners or losers— you are either the hunter or you are the hunted. In a way, his views are very Darwinist; it is purely survival of the fittest.

This makes it interesting that he would have a reference to a biblical verse on his revolvers.

"Vengeance is hereby mine" could be an example of how Micah believes he is above a higher form of justice and morality.

Micah has stripped away any sense of power from "God," and believes he alone can wield it and enact vengeance.

"For the day of their calamity is at hand, and their doom comes swiftly" could also foreshadow the demise of the Van Der Linde gang— arguably at Micah's own hand as the game's antagonist.

[rubikswriter]

Heavy is the crown - a Caitlyn Kiramman character analysis.

(Tumblr really messed the formatting up on this, and it’s like 15k so there’s no way I’m editing it again - check my Twitter RubiksGaming12 to read it in it’s correctly formatted form)

I’ll preface this by saying that I have no prior knowledge of LoL lore, but I’m a big fan of angsty, nuanced characters, and that’s why I want to talk about Caitlyn Kiramman.

I’m sure this has all been talked to death in the fandom, but from my brief time in it, I can see a lot of varying - although mostly negative - views on Caitlyn. Especially in season 2. Caitlyn, however, is a character who has swiftly made her way onto my favourites list and I feel the overwhelming need to wax poetically about her. 

I love a character that’s been consumed by darkness in some way and attempts to find their way back; from Darth Vader, to Xena, to Villanelle. I love all the shades of grey these characters bring; that not every act of good is seen in absolute glowing white and every negative in pure darkness. To me this teetering on the line in between is what makes for such rich characters to experience, explore, and devour.

I’ll start by saying that one of my favourite things about Arcane is how it doesn’t hold your hand the entire time. It’s not always direct, slammed in your face, explanation. It asks you to pay attention; to look, and listen, and think. It wants you to make the connections, to see the use of lighting, of revisiting environments, of the connection to the music/score. It wants you to question. 

Would we all have liked more episodes? Hell yes. However, I think the show does a wonderful job with Cait’s character arc within time/ep restraints it had. 

With that said, if you hold negative views on Caitlyn, my thoughts on this definitely won’t interest you in the slightest. You’ll keep your opinion, and I’ll keep mine. Art is subjective after all. But if you want to share thoughts and opinions and discuss openly, then please do. I love hearing and delving into all theories.

So with that said, let’s break my thoughts down —

Caitlyn is a Kiramman; a member of an influential house in Piltover. Her family's reputation precedes them, especially with her mother on the council. I think it’s safe to say that with such a privileged upbringing, when we meet Caitlyn in Season 1, it’s obvious that she has been sheltered from the depth and reality of the systemic divide between Piltover and Zaun, and just how oppressed the Zaunites really are. 

But there’s more to Caitlyn than her just being another mere, blindly accepting member of the Piltover elite. In fact the show hints that it's a direct result of her elite heritage, that Caitlyn grows into such an ambitious, confident, woman who has an unwavering, determined, drive to prove herself on her own merits rather than just on the coattails of her family name.

We see her kindness shown in her friendship with Jayce, a man older than her and sponsored by her parents, a person considered below her on the social ladder, and yet he’s her one true friend. She’s interested in his ideas, has concern and fondness for him. It presents Caitlyn as someone who goes against the grain of what’s expected of her, her curiosity of wanting to know and understand more than just the high society she’s part of is evident. It’s something that we see that sets her apart from the majority of her peers who are content with their lives and have no desire to question it.

I believe it’s her ambitious drive and her natural, kind curiosity that sets up the basis for her arc in Season 1. 

We see her commitment to her marksmanship in the flashback, she’s damn good at the skill she’s worked hard to hone, and yet we see Cait questioning her own merit when Grayson appears to let her win. Her first thought is ‘did my parents pay you to let me win?’ which is such a sombre reality. Has this happened before? It appears that even from a young age the weight of the name Kiramman is something that’s been weighing Cait down. A burden of expectation and equally a privileged advantage, even when it’s perhaps not deserved or wanted.

When Grayson says she let Cait win not because her parents paid her, but because she thought Cait deserved it, it validates Caitlyn in a way not many people do. Especially when Grayson is more skilled and less privileged than her. She tells Caitlyn that she doesn’t need to win, that protecting the people is the reward in itself. I think this interaction further unlocks and propels Caitlyn’s desire to earn respect rather than have it given to her because of her name.

So when Grayson asks her ‘what are you shooting for?’ I think Caitlyn is finally able to give herself the luxury and agency to decide to want more for herself than what is simply expected, and to go after that, no matter what people think. Her parents included.

That scene with Grayson, I felt, was vital in seeing, at least partly, why Caitlyn becomes an enforcer. It gives her a sense of purpose outside of the family ties. Something that’s just hers. Something she can achieve and be proud of, and something she can outwardly present amongst the community she lives in. She holds firm in her resolve and assurance that she’s made the right choice for herself even when her mother tries to keep her safe by limiting her work, and when her peers snigger mockingly at her that she should be at the cocktail party rather than guarding it.

After Jinx’s attack and her removal from the enforcers at her mother’s request, we see Caitlyn become even more solidified in her self belief. While she may be a little idealistic and naive to the wider workings of the world, Caitlyn proves she’s an intelligent, kind, empathetic person, and has a fire in her for seeking justice and protecting people. She genuinely seems to want to make a difference, and I think that’s why she fixates on the investigation of corruption in Piltover and how deeply connected that is to Zaun and its underworld. It’s another chance to prove herself to those that don’t truly see her as more than the Kiramman name.

This is obviously driven further when she meets Vi and has her released to help facilitate her investigation. Having Vi be her guide through the Undercity allows Cait to have her eyes opened to a different perspective than her own, and challenges Topside’s preconceptions about bottom. It’s seeing through Vi’s eyes that enlightens Cait to Zaun’s true struggles and drives her desire to want to help and advocate for Zaun further. While realising at the same time that the Piltover Caitlyn thinks she knows is equally corrupt in parts (Marcus’ betrayal highlighting this). 

It’s through Vi’s eyes, through her struggles, through their developing trust and connection that we the viewer can recognise that Caitlyn is meant to represent the moral compass of the show in S1 — She’s the one that gets us, the audience, to also question what Cait thinks she knows, versus the reality of what she’s now learnt (Silco, shimmer, Marcus, Jinx, Ekko and the firelights); that there is no good and bad, only shades of grey between the twin cities.

In understanding Caitlyn as the character we get introduced to in season 1, I think it’s really important to understand that it’s Caitlyn’s privilege that gives her the knowledge and position to try to drive a change forward. But it’s her character outside of her privilege; her kindness, her empathy, her risk taking and her willingness to challenge rules and ideals that makes her the right choice to help. Vi and Ekko aren’t trusting just any Piltie to help them, they’re trusting Caitlyn because of all that she exudes and stands for. It's unknown to Vi and Ekko at that time that Caitlyn is a Kiramman, or the weight that name holds. Caitlyn never divulges that about herself, instead she mentions Jayce, her friends being on the council. But we the audience know that it’s her family name that gives Caitlyn immediate access to her mother and the council where others - like Vi, Ekko, and the other Zaunites - would not have such a chance. 

We see, through her relationship with Vi, that Caitlyn doesn’t use her privilege to overshadow Vi and the Zaunties' struggles. She moves the pieces into place because she has the entitlement to do so. She lets Violet be the mouthpiece for herself and the Undercity’s struggles when addressing the council, showing that she sees Vi and the Zaunites as equals.

When Caitlyn’s mother is introduced to us, we understand that she’s not a big fan of Caitlyn essentially lowering the family name by becoming an enforcer, and that she purposely interfered in Caitlyn’s work to protect her; moving her to stand guard at her tent, and having Cait dismissed from the enforcers after the initial Jinx attack. However, Cassandra Kiramman clearly loves her daughter and after hearing how passionate she is, listening to Caitlyn outline the failings of the council she sits on, she schedules the councillors for Cait and Vi to talk with.

‘You’re a councillor’s daughter, your actions reflect on the entire body,’

‘You know what else reflects on the council? Its citizens living on the streets, being poisoned, having to choose between a kingpin who wants to exploit them and a government that doesn’t give a shit.’

We can see in this exchange just how much Caitlyn has grown from episode 1-8, and I could talk so much more about her growing relationship with Vi in season 1, but I think we all can agree that Vi grounds Caitlyn. She shows Caitlyn a world she hadn’t ever truly seen or understood. Vi challenges her in ways Caitlyn has never been challenged before, and she sees Caitlyn as she is; as simply Cait. Something that nobody else does. The fact that Caitlyn is a Kiramman is an afterthought, something Vi only learns later on when Caitlyn insists she can help with Zaun’s plight. 

Even when Caitlyn fails to achieve what they want from the council she remains determined to try again, but it’s Vi that walks away. It’s Vi that can only see how to do things one way and knows that she has to leave Caitlyn behind to do it. Vi, I feel, is essentially protecting Caitlyn from something she knows Caitlyn doesn’t fully understand and never can simply because of their separate birthrights. She will never really be able to understand that oppression, and Vi is too afraid/guilty to relinquish what little control she has left when it comes to Jinx.

Caitlyn acts in the council meeting according to the hierarchy she grew up in, something that Vi doesn’t have the luxury to indulge in. That’s why she walks away and goes to Jayce. Vi needs to take things into her own hands to try and save her sister and deal with Silco, she chooses the undercity way and leaves Caitlyn to mull over the topside approach. Vi’s own guilt gives her a heavy burden of responsibility that she can’t let go of.

We see after their separation that Caitlyn isn’t content with Topside’s action, or inaction, she’s frustrated with the lack of doing nothing but not doing enough. We see this when she’s in the shower thinking of Vi; her image represents what Caitlyn wants to fight for, what she can’t let go of now. A better life for them all. I truly believe that Caitlyn, with her dogged determination, would have tried again and again and again to help Vi with Jinx and Silco, and would have found a way to persuade the council to help the Undercity heal. It’s the first real indication we get that Vi has become one of Caitlyn’s biggest strengths, but will also become one of Caitlyn’s biggest weaknesses, as we see at the end of Season 1.

This all pieces together when Jinx foils Caitlyn’s plans to try and help and kidnaps her. Instead of Caitlyn working towards finding a balanced, diplomatic, solution that will benefit Piltover/Zaun and bridge the divide, we get Caitlyn receiving a nice dose of trauma; Jinx threatening her life and blowing up the council tower. Topped with the crushing burden of conflict and guilt; having the shot on Jinx but not being able to take it due to her loyalty and affection for Vi. 

It’s this event and every moment that happens during it that shapes the foundation of Caitlyn’s arc for season 2. 

——

We start season 2 with the consequences of the actions of season 1. Jinx is free and Caitlyn’s mother was killed along with some of the other councillors thanks to Jinx’s attack. This is already an intolerable pill for Caitlyn to swallow, knowing that not only did she have the shot on Jinx that could have prevented her mother’s death, but I’m sure Mel makes it known to her that she and the council were voting in favour of Zaun having independence. 

As such Season 2 is rich with character development for Caitlyn, and I think the best way I can share my thoughts on it is to break it down into her development journey per act.

Alongside looking at the events/effects of each act on Caitlyn’s character I want to focus on the three faces Cait claims to haunt her in S2E1; her mother (whose memory is manipulated by Ambessa), Jinx, and Vi. I believe that individually these three characters are the driving force behind Caitlyn’s descent to darkness and also her light back to the good woman we know Caitlyn Kiramman is at her core. 

Let’s start with Ambessa since I feel like her role is critical to Caitlyn’s moral downfall. However, in order to fully understand Caitlyn’s descent into darkness in season 2 I believe it’s vital to understand Ambessa, her motives, and her role in manipulating Caitlyn for her own gain.

So let’s jump back a second and look at Ambessa before we dissect season 2:

In season 1 Ambessa arrives in Piltover under the false pretense of visiting her estranged daughter Mel - who we all know is a wealthy and powerful

Councillor in the city - and confides in Mel about her brother, Kino’s death. It seems Ambessa feels responsible for her son's death, and that she’s certain those responsible for his death will continue to seek revenge upon the Medarda’s and Noxus. 

This brings us to the real reason for Ambessa’s visit. Having grown aware of Piltover’s progress with Hextech, Ambessa sees the opportunity to create and use Hextech weaponry to protect her family and thwart any threat to her people. Essentially, Ambessa begins her game of manipulation early in season 1 by hoping to convince Mel to engage in war with the Undercity using the weaponised Hextech to squash the conflict. Ambessa sees these two cities and the tensions between them as a testing ground for Hextech weapons, and a chance to grab power, which luckily Mel sees through and prevents.

With Mel not being so easily manipulated, aware of her mother’s warmongering ways, Ambessa quickly changes strategies and attempts to manoeuvre Hextech’s creator, Jayce, into weaponizing the technology. While Jayce refuses at first, Vi tempts him further, and together they take Hextech weapons into the Undercity with the goal of attacking Silco’s shimmer factories, only for Jayce to end up accidentally killing a child working in one. This immediately stops Jayce and ruins Ambessa’s second attempt at manipulation to mass weaponise Hextech. 

With promises of allowing Mel to return home to Noxus with her if Mel will simply allow the war between Piltover and Zaun to happen, Ambessa makes her final move of season 1. Luckily Mel stays true to herself, and right before Jinx blows up the council building, Mel sides with Jayce in offering Zaun independence, and encourages the other councillors to do the same. 

It’s as we head into season 2, in the wake of Jinx’s attack on Piltover, that we see Ambessa use the chaos to reestablish her footing and create another angle of manipulation to work with.

She first tries to speak through Councilor Salo, which Mel catches immediately, knowing that her mother is determined to gain power. Mel agrees to invade the Undercity to capture Jinx but without Hextech weapons, once again stopping Ambessa’s push to put Hextech into weaponised action. 

With Ambessa’s plot mapped, let’s move back to Season 2 and Caitlyn’s development:

Act 1:

Ep1 - 

It’s important to note that even at this point in her grief Caitlyn is still fighting for the people of Zaun and trying to prevent a war; she stands by Jinx being solely responsible for the attack and doesn’t want Piltover to flood the Undercity with enforcers. 

Because Ambessa failed to use Salo to get the councillors to invade Zaun with Hextech we see her next power play. She’s the one responsible for the memorial attack, she allows it to happen only to set herself up as the saviour with her Noxian troops. This act pushes her agenda forward, the next time the council meet they feel taken off guard, fearful and desperate to find a way to fight back and protect themselves. But before Ambessa can speak up, Caitlyn arrives with her strike team armed with Hextech weapons and does the task for her. 

Caitlyn’s goal is obviously to minimise damage, which is a stark contrast to what Ambessa wants overall, however it’s the perfect way for Ambessa to test her goal. I believe it’s at this point that we witness Ambessa noticing Caitlyn for the first time and understanding her influence. Something Ambessa definitely notes for later on. 

/

Next we have Caitlyn’s relationship with Vi to consider. 

It complicates Caitlyn’s grief. What should be a simple anger becomes a layered torment. How do you openly and intensely hate the sister of someone you care about? How does Caitlyn move past understanding Vi’s care for Jinx and refusal to give up on her at the end of season 1? Especially when that reality caused Caitlyn to hold back, go against her gut instinct, not shoot, and ultimately allow Jinx to kill her mother and further divide Piltover and Zaun.

The scene with her dad expands this conflict. Her guilt and self blame are evident when she admits she had the shot on Jinx. We see it manifesting in her refusal to willingly accept the Kiramman key. From someone so confident and self assured in season 1, we quickly see Caitlyn displaced and unsure. She’s gone from knowing the safety of her place in the Piltover hierarchy chain, to suddenly having to step up and fill that role her mother held. It’s a big responsibility and one Caitlyn doesn’t feel deserving or sure of. 

(Adding to this quickly that I love that it pans to Vi overhearing Caitlyn’s confessions, I think it perfectly foreshadows that Vi is going to have to witness someone else she loves descending down a path that’s a product of her actions. What a heavy cross to bear (maybe I’ll do a deep dive on Vi next)).

I also think it’s important that we talk about how Caitlyn is someone who keeps her emotions close to her chest, whereas Vi wears hers on her sleeve. Caitlyn’s grief is all over her face but it isn’t necessarily spoken aloud, she isn’t a blubbering mess. She only cries when she has the safety of Vi to be vulnerable with, and even then she only allows herself a brief moment. In true Caitlyn fashion, she then throws herself back into her way of dealing with her grief through action. I guess it makes sense that she feels inaction is what caused her pain, so of course going with the enforcers to find Jinx in the Undercity is a good idea. 

What perhaps isn’t her best idea is asking Vi to put on an enforcer badge and join her. I think Caitlyn is super clouded by her own grief here to even consider whether this is a good idea or not, especially given what she knows about Vi’s past. However, I would say that I truly believe that Caitlyn believes she’s asking Vi to join her for the right reasons. We witnessed Cait try and dissuade the council to invade Zaun already, so to think that Caitlyn believes that Vi’s presence on the enforcers side would help bridge a divide between Piltover and Zaun isn’t out of the realm of possibility. It makes sense for Cait to think that showing unity against Jinx would send a good message to the people of both cities. It also acts to ease Caitlyn’s own fears about Vi’s feelings towards her and Jinx. Where does Vi’s allegiance lie now? Can Vi see that Jinx is too far gone now and trust Cait to make the right decision? It’s a risk but a reassurance I think Cait desperately needs from Vi to anchor herself. 

Even though Vi initially rejects her offer to join the enforcers, after the memorial attack, when we see Caitlyn at her most unbalanced, Vi is there once again to provide comfort to Caitlyn at her most vulnerable. Vi understands what Caitlyn needs from her. I think at this point Vi is consumed by her own pain and guilt, and that while she clearly can’t mend Jinx’s heart, perhaps she can protect Cait’s. It’s why I believe Vi ultimately joins the strike team Caitlyn sets up. She feels a sense of responsibility to put things right too. It’s a tentative balance between the two of them; it’s the promise of action without overzealous violence hinged on an achievable goal of apprehending Jinx.

/

We see Caitlyn, for the most part, admirably hiding her pain, grief, and self blame for her mother’s death (as Mel tells Jayce) but we also see glimpses of her strong facade cracking with anger at Jinx. 

Her anguish and guilt begin to manifest into hatred, and we see this evidently in Caitlyn’s visualisation of taking the shot at Jinx. This externalised hatred of Jinx is understandable in the wake of her mother’s death, and has left Caitlyn’s family with a gaping hole that she herself now has to quickly navigate to fill. 

While Jinx isn’t part of the memorial attack it triggers a reaction in Caitlyn; her pain and anger breaking free and making her lash out. We see her in her grief going from defending Zaun; ‘there’s good people down there’ to ‘they’re animals’. While that thought doesn’t grow further yet (thanks to Vi’s grounding presence) it does seed and begin to take root inside Caitlyn, waiting to blossom later in the season.

/

Ep 2 & 3:

Episodes 2 & 3 take a closer look at Caitlyn’s invasion of the Undercity with her strike team. So I’m going to combine my thoughts for them. 

We see at the end of episode 1 that Caitlyn discovers the creation of the ventilation system the Kiramman’s created to provide clean air to the Undercity. Now this next part seems to be where I witness a lot of hatred and negativity of Caitlyn’s character journey this season coming from.

While I completely agree that her use of the gas in the Undercity is a bold and controversial choice, I think there’s a misunderstanding of how Caitlyn was using the gas. I get the sense that people think she was just gassing the whole of the Undercity when in reality she states what she plans to do with the gas in her mission outline; locate Jinx, dismantle shimmer and neutralise any agents still loyal to Silco.

Remember Vi is part of this strike team, I doubt she’s letting Caitlyn murderously gas her people. Instead, she’s probably guided Caitlyn into where the shimmer factories and the gangs are located. It’s these areas that the gas is being used. Does this justify her use of the gas? I’m not sure. I think it’s a moral grey area. Does violence of any kind, from any side, justify a violent retaliation? I think this is sadly a case of human nature. It shows the cycle of hatred, of violence being used to justify peace. It’s a tale as old as time; everybody is the bad guy in somebody else’s story. It’s a cycle that keeps repeating until somebody breaks it.

And that’s the theme the show wants to explore in season 2. Caitlyn’s actions are unsettling. Rightfully so. It’s a breakdown of what happens to people’s morals when they’re challenged by outside forces they can’t control. I think Arcane takes these issues and presents them cleverly throughout the show, and to write a character off as simply bad or good is a disservice to the depth they’ve been given.

The show forces the audience to step into each characters shoes and ask:

‘how far are you willing to go for the people you love?’

‘How far is too far?’

‘How do you know when you’re crossed that line and can you stop yourself going further?’

‘Can you come back from that?’ 

‘What can you do to break the cycle?’

We see these questions starting to get asked as we move into the tail end of Act 1.

The montage at the start of episode 3 is super heavy with explanations of what exactly the strike team does in Zaun. Sadly, I do think if you’re casually watching some of the depth of this montage is lost which I’m assuming is a time restraint/stylistic choice that had to be made for S2.

That said, let’s look at it carefully:

I feel like the bright colours are really menacing here, especially when you see Caitlyn and co fully suited up with the green gas behind them. It makes the image of the gangs running away look small and weak in comparison. When in reality we know these guys have helped Silco flood the lanes with Shimmer and are definitely part of the violence in the Undercity. It then flickers through scenes of the team fighting against the gangs, of them achieving their objective to dismantle shimmer and neutralise anyone still loyal to Silco. But it also makes a point to show Caitlyn apprehending these criminals in a non-lethal way; it seems she fires the same net-type bullets the enforcers fired at Vi and Powder way back in the opening episodes as they escaped from Jayce’s apartment. Most importantly it shows them holding Jinx’s wanted poster, inquiring for her whereabouts. This, we know, is the driving force behind all of Cait’s actions. A venture that is clearly proving fruitless so far. It’s clear that Jinx’s continued allusion only heightens Caitlyn’s grief and anger. 

While searching the Undercity for Jinx, we see Caitlyn, Vi and the others looking for Jinx in the old arcade where Vi and Jinx played as children. The use of the gas and seeing Vi playing enforcer enrages Jinx and she taunts Caitlyn by switching on the moving targets and momentarily appearing behind one before disappearing once more. While Maddie confirms the place is all clear, Caitlyn appears to begin to hyperventilate, her frustration with not apprehending Jinx clearly agitating her and teetering her closer and closer to the edge of her grief and control. She shoots where she was certain she saw Jinx standing, showing her ability to follow through with her shot now, and once more it’s Vi that has to approach her and ground her, bringing Caitlyn back from the Jinx demon plaguing her.

I want to make a point of noting that Vi is involved in the entirety of the strike team invasion into Zaun. This doesn’t make the use of the gas a right, but it does draw a line under what even Vi thinks is acceptable for Silco’s goons to suffer in their quest to get Jinx. When Jinx confronts Vi about this later, Vi even says they were using the gas to minimise damage (note - Cait hasn’t lost all morals) - ‘We used the grey to clear the streets. To keep people safe.’

We see Jinx using one of the Chembarons’s minions to lure Caitlyn and Vi further down into the pipeworks. While questioning the guy, Caitlyn continues off the back of her agitation from ep2, her frustration at not having found Jinx already making her snappy and twitchy. When Caitlyn demands an answer on how Heenot got there, she looks far too trigger happy, and Vi immediately notices the unsettled shift in Caitlyn, moving to kneel in front of Heenot. This serves to put her in Cait’s eyeline in an attempt to ground her once more. Vi gets the answer Caitlyn was seeking without violence but instead of calming Caitlyn, the knowledge that Jinx is close by only seems to amplify Cait’s vehement determination for vengeance.

Vi can see Caitlyn is becoming increasingly consumed by her hatred and asks to speak to her for a moment and then— well, let’s go ahead and talk about the kiss. That first kiss… 

I personally think that Vi’s voice actor Hailee Steinfeld and writer Amanda Overton give voice to my feelings on this far more coherently than I ever could: 

‘The dialogue before [the kiss] says it all. Vi's in a place where she's lost everything. She's lost anything and everything she's ever felt seen by or close to," Steinfeld continued. "The only way she has any of it left is through Caitlyn, and she's now asking a lot of her, asking her not to change given what she's now going through. I think it unlocks a newfound vulnerability.’

While Amanda adds to this:

“To me, that kiss, because it comes so early in their arc, was always meant to be the right thing for the wrong reasons. You want to feel really good because they’re finally kissing, but the promise that Vi asks her in her desperation is an impossible ask. Caitlyn responds in a way where she wants this to be true, Vi wants this to be true. Both of them want this to be true, so kissing was their way of covering that up.”

I think the kiss acts as a balm to both of their insecurities and guilt about their roles in the losses they’ve faced and may face again. Do either of them believe the promise, I’m not convinced, but it’s an important moment for Caitlyn to feel reassured by Vi’s loyalty. It feels like Vi has her back as they now approach Jinx, and that if Caitlyn can make the shot, she has Vi’s blessing to do so. Vi is her strength and Caitlyn needs that before she comes face to face with Jinx once again.

The only problem with the kiss and the faux promise is that it’s fine in theory but not in practice. I think Vi was trying to convince herself she could let Jinx go for Cait’s sake, but once she sees her, especially with Isha, Vi can’t commit to it. 

This is the driving wedge between her and Caitlyn, because that kiss promise they just made, well in Caitlyn’s eyes, Vi didn’t keep it. It feels like betrayal. Vi has prevented her from taking the shot against Jinx twice now. 

This is the pivotal moment that ultimately leads to Caitlyn being unable to untangle Vi from Jinx in her mind. Her feelings are too clouded by her grief, and her anger finally shifts from Jinx to Vi. Vi, who in Cait’s eyes, let her down. It’s heartbreaking but in the next moment Vi pays the price for Caitlyn’s transferred anger by taking Caitlyn’s rifle to her gut. And just like that, Caitlyn breaks her promise too. 

Has she really changed or is Caitlyn merely lost in her own self hatred, grief, insecurity and guilt? Whatever the answer is, without Vi, Caitlyn no longer has an anchor to stop herself spiralling completely. It leaves her vulnerable and open to manipulation as we see.

/

We see Ambessa growing impatient after Amara attacks her and reveals the Black Rose are aware that Ambessa isn’t relenting in their feud, instead she’s in Piltover looking for an advantage by gaining access to Hextech weapons. As a result Ambessa returns to manipulate Salo, wanting to use the councillor to once again to push her agenda and gain more control. But Salo is equally frustrated by his use in Ambessa’s plan. It’s during Ambessa’s exchange with Salo that Caitlyn comes up again. 

We know Ambessa has taken note of Caitlyn when she stormed the council with her strike team idea and thwarted her attempt to use Salo to urge the council into a full invasion of Zaun, but in this next exchange with Salo we see Ambessa once again  grasping exactly why Caitlyn could be the key to her power play.

‘It’s enough work propping you up without you dulling what few wits are left rattling around in there.’

‘If you propped as well as you prod, maybe I’d have better uses for my time than sitting around waiting for an update on Princess Kiramman’s underground escapades. She’s gotten no closer to Jinx. But that doesn’t seem to steal the stars from anyone’s eyes.’

‘Perhaps if you hadn’t let the child overpower you in your own chamber.’

‘It’s not the girl. It’s the name. It bewitches people.’

Ambessa, at this point, still intends to use Salo as her puppet by gathering the elite of Piltover, so she can essentially speak through Salo, and urge for further action to be taken against Zaun. However, the knowledge she’s gained about Caitlyn from Salo comes in very useful when Ambessa actually makes her play for power at the end of episode 3. 

Mel even notes how clever and strategic Ambessa is when talking with Lest, ‘everything with my mother is a calculated risk’ showing that Ambessa will do whatever is necessary to achieve what she wants. This becomes even easier for Ambessa to do with Mel and Jayce out of the picture, leaving Piltover wide open to her manipulation.

Ambessa takes advantage of the Jinx/Zaunite attacks on Piltover and Amara’s disappearance (or shall I say, her own cover up) to create a new narrative. She starts by using Salo as her mouthpiece, here he lays the foundation that Ambessa is a trusted and worthy ally for Piltover. Whose experience Piltover should take advantage of. Ambessa continues this narrative, painting herself as a kind ally who was simply going to help Amara rebuild Piltover before the Zaunties attacked again. 

Ambessa uses the continued and growing fear of the Piltover elite to encourage the conflict - ‘wrath must be met with wrath.’ - setting up the idea of martial law as a necessary move to protect the people and return Piltover to safety once more. We see Salo thinking he’s finally going to be rewarded for being Ambessa’s puppet, only for Ambessa to manoeuvre past him. She takes the knowledge he’s given her about Caitlyn Kiramman and the worth of her name and chooses her to command instead.

Ambessa knows of Caitlyn’s grief and her unwavering desire to bring Jinx to justice in vengeance for her mother’s death, and now Ambessa can take Caitlyn Kiramman and twist her focus to encompass more. Caitlyn Kiramman can be the pawn Ambessa uses to start the conflict between Piltover and Zaun. Caitlyn Kiramman will get the elite to listen. Caitlyn Kiramman will use Hextech weaponry to do so, and in doing so, Caitlyn Kiramman will give Ambessa the power she needs to confront the Black Rose.

At first Caitlyn is shocked by Ambessa’s decision to choose her for command but once Ambessa and the Noxian’s begin their chest salute, Caitlyn becomes overwhelmed with the pressure of the Kiramman name. She told her dad she didn’t feel worthy or ready, and here is Ambessa, someone the Piltover elite now trust, someone with experience, who is saying she believes Caitlyn is the right person to protect the people. It forces Caitlyn to step up and fill that hole her mother left; to represent Piltover as a Kiramman. Ambessa achieves this cleverly by taking advantage of Caitlyn at her lowest. Ambessa plays into the combination of Caitlyn’s own guilt, grief and self loathing and peer pressure, and buckles Caitlyn to her will, molding her into a Commander who will carry out unspeakable things to grasp power.

Let’s talk about the persuasion of the peer pressure - it’s peer pressure that comes not only from the Noxian army but also from Caitlyn’s own enforcers - Maddie being the one to chest salute from Piltover’s side first. It’s not surprising given we know she’s a spy - but before this knowledge is gained Maddie is seen as a good hearted, kind enforcer wanting to do the right thing. Without Vi there to question and anchor Caitlyn, Maddie is a familiar and reassuring face Cait can turn to. So when Maddie joins the Noxians supporting Caitlyn for commander, so too does everybody else. Now it’s Piltover looking at Caitlyn to make this right.

What do you do when someone you think you trust encourages you to step up? When everyone who relies on the Kiramman name wants to believe in you? It feels like a task Caitlyn cannot fail in… not like she failed her mother. 

Ambessa, seeing Caitlyn beginning to cave to the responsibility, uses the rawness of Caitlyn’s grief to manipulate her again, just as Caitlyn might possibly be starting to question it all. Before the doubts can fully form in her head, Ambessa is there, oinking her poison into Caitlyn’s ear - ‘your mother will have justice. I swear it’. 

There’s that question for Caitlyn and the audience again - how far are you willing to go for those you love?

It’s Ambessa’s manipulation at its finest, a final, powerful shove in the direction Ambessa wants, and Caitlyn, in her broken state, falls for it.

It’s these events of the entirety of Act 1 that I believe sways Cait into taking the position of commander. By giving Caitlyn the power of command over the enforcers and her Noxian army, Ambessa enables Caitlyn to descend into an even darker spiral of moral ambiguity.

/

Act 2 -

Ep 4 - 

In the opening montage we see Caitlyn’s martial law in effect. Under her visage, the enforcers and Noxians flood the Undercity, hunting Jinx, and arresting those they see as a threat. We can all agree here that Caitlyn’s morals have tumbled; she allows a (necessary - Cait’s opinion, not mine) increased amount of violence in order to maintain control, and this is obviously met with resistance from the Zaunties. It’s the cycle of violence churning, and Caitlyn, under Ambessa’s guidance allows it to happen fuelled by her hyper-fixation on capturing Jinx.

I’d like to point out that the use of the Jinx wanted posters throughout this episode is huge. For Caitlyn and Piltover, Jinx is justification for what they’re doing. And for Zaun, Jinx becomes the one thing they can all start to unite behind despite their differences; in the most ironic turn around, Jinx becomes a symbol of hope and rebellion for Zaun against their oppressors.

Despite Caitlyn being in command of the martial law taking place, I think the scene with Maddie highlights that she hasn’t disowned her morals entirely, they haven’t changed, they’ve just become clouded by her grief and Ambessa’s manipulating encouragement. We get a hint of this as it appears that Caitlyn isn’t sleeping well, the tensions between the two cities clearly playing heavily on her mind. We see further hints of this when Caitlyn confesses to Maddie that she didn’t think the invasion would go on so long. 

‘I never expected this to go on so long. I thought… I don’t know what I thought. Just… it wasn’t this.’- this shows that Caitlyn didn’t know what exactly she was taking on when she took command. How could she? Before any of this happened she was an enforcer with restricted responsibility thanks to the protection of her mother, and now she’s not only in charge of her house and its legacy, but she’s taken control of Piltover’s safety. It’s a big burden to bear and it’s clear the direction she’s taken has left her uncertain about her choices. 

Maddie in return seems to act as both the angel and devil on Cait’s shoulders, in one breath she’s endorsing the Noxian’s increasing violence by reassuring Cait that it’s for Piltover’s safety, and the next she’s telling Caitlyn she could withdraw from the Undercity. Without Vi there now to ground Caitlyn in the harsh realities of her choices, Maddie’s angel/devil act further serves as part of Ambessa’s manipulation, isolating Caitlyn in Ambessa’s ideals alone, and keeps Caitlyn spiraling even when her morals begin to creep back in and make her conviction wobble slightly. 

When Maddie teasingly calls Caitlyn ‘Ambessa’ it snaps Caitlyn out of her disillusionment, and keeps her focused on her unfulfilled goal of getting Jinx, citing that Ambessa’s methods do work. She’s delivering what she promised Piltover and Caitlyn she would deliver, and all Caitlyn has to do is stay on the path Ambessa has set out before her.

Maddie also uses this opportunity to try and make Caitlyn feel in control. While Caitlyn’s doubts about the marital law materialise, Maddie forces Caitlyn to look at herself in the mirror and reminds her that Caitlyn is the leader they follow. It catapults Caitlyn back to the weight of responsibility she feels in the wake of losing her mother. Piltover chose her because she’s a Kiramman and Caitlyn cannot let them down, she has a hole to fill. This pushes her to ignore any niggling doubts and press forward with her efforts to secure Jinx.

Another scene where we can see that Caitlyn isn’t completely lost in her darkness is during her exchange with Ambessa. Ambessa rightfully notes that Jinx’s return will further ignite Zaun’s resistance to the martial law, but that it also finally gives them a lead on Jinx. When Caitlyn doesn’t seem elated at the news, Ambessa questions why Caitlyn isn’t more encouraged.

It’s here that Caitlyn’s core morals and doubts of Ambessa begin to shine through again. Caitlyn questions why Ambessa has urged the Noxians to become more violent, and Ambessa is clear in her response; someone in Zaun knows where Jinx is and she will use whatever force is necessary to get the answer.

Caitlyn is relentless though, and her core morals once again challenge Ambessa’s approach - ‘arrests require cause’ - showing that Caitlyn is still trying to stay within a somewhat structured justice system. She might be ruthless and unyielding in her quest for Jinx but she’s not trying to be unnecessarily cruel. 

Ambessa is always one step ahead though and we see her try to pacify Caitlyn’s doubts by reminding her of her duty to Piltover - ‘what greater cause is there than returning peace to this city?’

But Caitlyn isn’t entirely pacified by Ambessa’s remarks and we see her challenge her back with an important question; ‘why is peace always the justification for violence?’ 

This is a question not only for Ambessa and Caitlyn but also the audience. It asks the audience to think about this statement in regards to the whole show; to every character. How far is too far? When do you stop yourself from becoming something other than yourself in the name of protecting/saving those you love?

Ambessa responds by saying she understands how tiring vengeance can be, but she knows Caitlyn won’t be able to rest while she knows Jinx is out there. I believe this is one of the only honest moments Ambessa gives us. We know she too cannot rest while the Black Rose is out there threatening her family, it’s what drives her to achieve power and will keep driving her no matter the cost. But despite this brief moment of honesty, as per her character, Ambessa seizes the moment to manipulate Caitlyn again by questioning her conviction - ‘maybe I underestimated you. Maybe you have the strength I do not. To forgive and trust in tomorrow.’ 

By leaving the choice in Caitlyn’s hands Ambessa triggers Caitlyn to remember what her inaction caused her before; her mother’s death. It’s why we next see a guilt ridden Caitlyn at her mother’s statue and why, I believe, Cait can’t escape the darkness still clutching at her ankles yet. Having fallen victim to Ambessa manipulation once again we see her allowing the Noxian soldiers to carry out more violence and mass arresting of the Zaunties.

Last thought for episode 4 - Caitlyn’s face overlapping with Jinx’s wanted poster shows the monsters they’ve both become as a result of their traumas. Jinx is a product of her abandonment that festered (under Silco) into a chaotic resentment and anger towards Vi that fundamentally changed who she was/is. The same can be said for Caitlyn in Act 1-2. As a result of Jinx killing her mother, Caitlyn becomes a product of her trauma; her grief and guilt twist her empathy and understanding into that of unbridled anger (fuelled by Ambessa). Now Cait is left desperately seeking justice to soothe her wounds, and it causes her to commit horrible acts in her quest.

Even when Caitlyn does make attempts to remind herself of her true morals, she’s met with Jinx’s taunts, Vi’s betrayal (in her eyes) and Ambessa’s manipulation, just as Jinx always had Silco whispering in her ear.

It’s a cycle of anger and self destruction that Caitlyn and Jinx cannot break… not yet anyway.

/

Ep 5 - 

We begin this episode with Caitlyn arriving at Stillwater in the wake of Warwick’s attack. She has to pass through the blood and bodies of her comrades and see first hand the destruction that’s taken place. While she and Ambessa question Singed over the attack, we see just how fractured Caitlyn’s mind is becoming the longer Jinx evades her. It seems here, that Caitlyn thought her dismantling of shimmer earlier on would slow/stop Zaun from producing chemically advanced weapons created from experiments. But the Warwick attack proves her wrong. Singed has created something far worse, and Caitlyn’s immediate response is to discover how it’s connected to Jinx. 

It’s quite an ironic scene because Singed is almost mocking Caitlyn for being so single-minded. Zaun is more than just Jinx - something Caitlyn used to be able to comprehend before her grief - and he can see that Caitlyn is blinded to that, blaming her impatience and youth. 

We also get to see here how Caitlyn has made use of Stillwater for those that she’s arrested during the period of martial law - ‘there are cells buried deep within this prison so devoid of light and fresh air and all basic human considerations that up till now, I have forbidden their use.’

Has Caitlyn wrongly arrested Zaunties? I have no doubt that she has. But has she tried not to go so far into the darkness that she forgets all her morals and becomes a complete monster? I think so. She remembers the torment and suffering Vi suffered in Stillwater (even when they’re apart Vi is the grounding force that tries to creep in and pull Caitlyn back from the worst of herself). I don’t think Caitlyn is cruel by nature. She does have a good heart. It's just buried so deep beneath her guilt and grief that she’s committed acts she never thought she would, and she can’t seem to stop committing them while she feels Jinx is still a threat to Piltover. 

The last we see of Caitlyn in that scene she threatens Signed with spending the rest of his days in Stillwater. A promise she will keep if he doesn’t cooperate to help them destroy the beast.

When we next see Singed however, he’s with Ambessa. Ambessa who has quickly and strategically concluded that if Hextech is unreachable due to Jayce’s absence, the beast that Signed has created is the next best weapon she could have in her arsenal. Warwick might in fact be more powerful. Here Ambessa cuts a deal with Singed; his loyalty and the beast for her cause, in exchange for his freedom and allowance to keep experimenting. It’s clearly not something Ambessa informs Caitlyn of, who I’m assuming she keeps in the dark. Ambessa allows Caitlyn to keep believing that Singed is only being freed so that they can find the beast and destroy it before it attacks Piltover. 

We get to see in this episode that the doubts we see Caitlyn beginning to have about Ambessa and the disillusionment we see Caitlyn facing about her role in the invasion of Zaun continue to gnaw at her, especially after Singed’s poignant remark that ‘no one in power is innocent.’  I think this is a statement that makes Caitlyn pause and look at herself. If Signed isn’t innocent for his creation, is she innocent for the violence she’s allowed?

When we next see Ambessa, Signed and Caitlyn share a scene together, it’s with Signed conducting an experiment that will hopefully allow them to locate the beast.

Caitlyn, who looks less than thrilled with the arrangement of his freedom, makes it known that she understood Signed’s barbed statement last time, and as a result she’s used her position as a Kiramman to look into him to discover how deep his crimes go. It also highlights that she distrusts the reasoning Ambessa has given her for Signed’s release. We know after all that during the previous episode Ambessa made it clear she couldn’t forgive and forget. That she would always fight and do whatever was necessary to win with no regrets.

What Caitlyn has discovered is that the Piltover academy once had a revered alchemist who was banished as a result of his work. The results of which were never recorded. We know from S1 that Jayce’s creation of Hextech was considered so dangerous that it almost got him banished until he stabilised it. But what does the Undercity have that’s equally as dangerous as Hextech and yet entirely unstable and uncontrollable; shimmer. 

Caitlyn’s headstrong intellect makes a delightful return here when we see her work out that Singed was the banished alchemist Dr Reveck. She recoils in disgust at his creation of shimmer, which has always been a threat, not only to Piltover, but to Zaun. The damage of which Caitlyn saw firsthand in season 1 when she was in Zaun with Vi.

She calls Signed a monster and demands to know why he created shimmer and why he continues to experiment so dangerously that he creates these violent abominations.

For Singed the answer is easy - ‘Why does anyone commit acts others deem unspeakable? For love.’

At the sight of Signed’s daughter, kept alive by these unthinkable, grotesque experiments, Caitlyn is then forced to face an ugly truth, something which she and Singed both share. They have both committed horrible deeds to alleviate the harrowing pain of loss that only comes from losing someone you love. 

It holds a mirror up to Caitlyn and her actions in such a raw way that I don’t think any other moment has done yet. Is this the wake up call Caitlyn needs to finally break the chains of Ambessa’s manipulation and away from the darkness pulling her further and further away from her true self?

I guess we’ll see.

——

Ep 6 -

While the previous episode gives us our first proper glimmer of hope that Caitlyn is slowly waking up from her darkness and may start breaking away from Ambessa soon, this episode gives us the culmination of events that actually drive Cait to that very point of disentangling herself from Ambessa’s web of manipulation. 

But let’s rewind a second to see how exactly Caitlyn gets there.

Episode 6 starts off with a very clever and insightful fight sequence. Here we see Ambessa sparring with Caitlyn and training her in the Noxian ways. 

Here are the key principles Ambessa teaches Caitlyn:

‘Noxus prizes strength above all else, defining it by three core principles. Vision. The top of the triangle, charting a course and having the wisdom to navigate it. This form is your base, child. Your eyes see what others don't. Might. Bending your environment to your will. Your speed is improving. But eventually you need force.’

‘Too much force exposes you to risk.’

‘Indeed. The last is guile. Phantoms. Tricksters. Mages. Absent honour. Absent accountability. Remember this, Caitlyn. Tunnels in your eyes. Lava in your veins. Shadows in your heart. This is the truth of combat.’

But oh no, that’s not all.  Ambessa enlightens Caitlyn to her final, most important lesson:

‘I’ve discovered a fourth principle. One that heightens all others. Sacrifice. The temper born of suffering. We understand it as others cannot. We are kin.’

Now, this may just seem like Ambessa being Ambessa but it provides Caitlyn with two things:

 1) her combat skill set has definitely approved under Ambessa and continues to do so 

 2) Caitlyn has the inner-knowledge of how Ambessa’s mind works. 

This becomes vital later on in the remaining episodes. 

Some people might be confused by Caitlyn’s participation here given that she was starting to doubt Ambessa in the previous episode. However, the beast is still at large and a threat to both Piltover and Zaun. Caitlyn needs to aid Ambessa in putting him down.

Singed leads Ambessa, Caitlyn and the Noxian army through Zaun to the commune Viktor has established. Here is where Signed has tracked his beast. While Ambessa seems hell bent on attacking the commune without a second thought in order to capture the beast, we see Caitlyn looking unsure. Her suspicions that Ambessa is up to something heighten when she allows Singed to enter the commune to talk to Viktor.

Up until this point Caitlyn believes their goal is to eliminate the beast since it’s such a threat to Piltover and Zaun, but when she witnesses Ambessa and Signed plotting together, I believe she starts questioning their true intent regarding the beast.

The next time we see Caitlyn she appears to be creeping around the outskirts of her and Ambessa’s makeshift camp. Why would she be doing that if she wasn’t doubting Ambessa and Singed? Caitlyn isn’t stupid, she knows Ambessa is highly driven by power, but power at the expense of a peaceful commune? I’m not sure even Caitlyn is willing to cross that line. Her morals have gotten lost but they haven’t gone completely. Caitlyn has always tried to hold onto them. We see that here again. These morals come rushing back when Caitlyn’s natural detective skills lead her to piece together that Ambessa and Signed are planning a way to capture the beast, not destroy it. 

This to me is Caitlyn’s turning point, as she realises that Ambessa and Signed with the beast at their disposal will be a much bigger threat to Piltover and Zaun than Jinx ever could have been. 

Caitlyn has already reached this conclusion before she spots someone creeping about and puts their ass on the ground. Before she realises it’s Vi creeping around. 

The fact that it is Vi following Singed, and the fact that Vi is at the commune at all gives Caitlyn even greater reason to question Ambessa. These two may not have spoken in months but they see each other. They always have. 

When Caitlyn says ‘you can’t be here’ it’s not because she doesn’t want to see Vi, or because she’s dismissing her, but because she knows Ambessa is dangerous. Because despite everything that’s happened Caitlyn wants to protect Vi. Plus, Caitlyn knows that Vi being there is a weakness for her, she won’t be able to do what she needs to do to stop Ambessa if she’s worrying about Vi in the crossfire.

It’s Vi, however, questioning Caitlyn in return that falters Caitlyn’s cold focus. Why is Caitlyn there on the job? And is she still acting like an unhinged mongoose? 

Caitlyn mimics the insult of ‘mongoose’ but I think it’s the word ‘unhinged’ that cracks her steely veneer. Her grief and guilt did make her unhinged. The last time they were together she hit Vi in the stomach with her rifle in the wake of what she perceived as Vi’s betrayal of her. In the months since I’m sure that act has haunted Caitlyn. Vi disappeared from her life without another word and it’s because of Caitlyn’s actions. 

(Was Maddie the perfect distraction to the heartbreak she caused herself? I think so. Maddie allowed Caitlyn not to think about Vi, and Caitlyn needed that in order to reassure herself that her actions were necessary and justified. A perfect example of ‘the worst lies are the ones we tell ourselves’).

Without Vi around, Caitlyn was able to really access those darker parts of herself, and while Caitlyn felt like she needed to do that in order to keep herself focused on Jinx, we can see the cost of it. We see it in Caitlyn’s uncertainty in her actions, in her doubts of Ambessa, in the threat of the beast, and in Vi’s appearance. 

When Vi pushes Caitlyn off her in response, Caitlyn moves back limply, a little bit of the fight knocked out of her. Did Vi’s insult hold a mirror up to Caitlyn? I think so. It’s an uncomfortable pill to swallow, and we see that manifest in the way Caitlyn shifts her focus onto Vi’s hair.  

‘Your hair. You look like an angry oil slick.’

‘Don’t sugarcoat it, cupcake.’

Vi doesn’t trade insults with Caitlyn. She doesn’t berate her further than getting Caitlyn to back off so she can sit up. Instead she takes Caitlyn’s comment and gives Caitlyn warmth in return. The use of the ‘cupcake’ nickname is familiar, affectionate. In that single moment it breaks the tension between them. Is there anger between them? Yes. Unresolved issues? Yes. But there’s also an innate trust. So when Vi asks what Caitlyn is doing at the commune, Caitlyn tells the truth. And when Caitlyn asks Vi why she’s there in return, Vi tells the truth.

‘We tracked some sort of new chemweapon down here. A bloodthirsty, murderous, beast. What are you doing here?’

‘Trying to save… my dad.’

We don’t see Vi reveal to Caitlyn the true extent of what happened to Vander, and Vi purposely omits Jinx’s involvement, but what she tells Caitlyn is enough for Caitlyn to make her decision to betray Ambessa. 

We’ve seen time and time again that Vi fights because she’s always had to, but Caitlyn fights because she wants to. It’s what made Vi trust Caitlyn in the first place. And although she knows Caitlyn still hates/resents Jinx, she trusts Caitlyn enough in that moment to fight for what’s right like she always has before. Vi completely kills Caitlyn’s idea that Warwick is just a beast. The second Vi confides in her that this beast is actually Vander, her dad, Caitlyn starts seeing him as human. And not just any human; a human hugely important to Vi. Those doubts Caitlyn had about Ambessa and Singed? They’re cemented here. She trusts Vi and believes Vi, and that headstrong Caitlyn from S1 who wants to do the right thing and protect the people she loves? She shows up for Vi now.

Grayson once asked Caitlyn what she was shooting for, and we see the answer here clearly; Caitlyn will shoot to protect those she loves. Vi needs her help and her protection and Caitlyn is going to do just that because despite everything that's happened to them and between them, Caitlyn loves Vi. It’s that simple.

They’ve always worked better together, and we see that here. Their balance slowly returns as they plot to infiltrate Ambessa’s camp with Vi as Caitlyn’s prisoner. It creates a perfect distraction and takes Ambessa out of play, while Caitlyn stops Singed and saves Vander. If anybody could bring Caitlyn back out of her darkness and ground her, redirect her focus, and free her from Ambessa’s manipulation, it’s Vi.

The following scene between Ambessa, Vi and Caitlyn is amazing at showing just how much trust and understanding is still between Cait and Vi despite their bond not being fully healed. Caitlyn’s (fake) delivery of Vi into Ambessa’s hands cements Caitlyn as a worthy ally in Ambessa’s eyes. Remember, Ambessa sent a young Mel away because she considered Mel her weakness, and here we see Caitlyn handing over Vi, someone who Ambessa knows has Caitlyn’s heart (is her weakness). It’s such a powerplay from Caitlyn; she takes what she knows about how Ambessa’s mind works and uses that to her advantage to stage her betrayal.

Ambessa’s biggest mistake in this scene is her arrogance. She doesn’t consider for a second that Caitlyn will betray her. While she understands that Vi must be disposed of before she becomes a distraction for Caitlyn and ruins all of Ambessa’s manipulations, she fails to comprehend just how easily Vi could have gotten through to Caitlyn. 

In fact, Ambessa even gloats about how Vi’s absence provided a vacuum she was able to fill in Caitlyn; with manipulation, with Maddie, with fuelled hatred. Without Vi to ground her, Caitlyn, in Ambessa’s eyes, was easily shaped into her cold, ruthless commander. She can’t have Vi ruining that now. It’s why she knows she has to kill her if she wants to keep Caitlyn as her puppet.

The problem with Ambessa putting all of her money on Caitlyn’s hate for Jinx being stronger than any of her past feelings for Vi, is that Ambessa completely fails to recognise that Vi has already saved Caitlyn. All it took was for their eyes to lock again and Vi shattered the hard shell Ambessa worked hard to build around Caitlyn.

Don’t get me wrong, Caitlyn was starting to save herself (unbeknown to Ambessa, thanks to her ego) but Vi showed up at the right time, in the right place and offered Caitlyn a hand. A hand that Caitlyn took without a second of doubt.

Ambessa overlooks the importance of Vi’s duality to Caitlyn, that’s she’s Caitlyn’s biggest weakness but she’s also her biggest strength, until it’s too late. Caitlyn is already distracted, she’s already made her choice; it’s Vi.

I think this shows major growth for Caitlyn, because even though she doesn’t know about Jinx’s involvement at this stage, she still chooses Vi over Ambessa. She chooses Vi over her mission. She chooses Vi over her grief. It doesn’t take back her mistakes but it sets Caitlyn back on the right path, the path where she will protect people, especially those she loves.

Caitlyn follows Vi’s plan to subdue Signed and attempts to help Vander but Rictus stops her. It seems that while Ambessa trusted Caitlyn, Rictus wasn’t convinced. Just as it looks like he will kill Caitlyn, Jinx fires a shot and saves her.

Does Jinx do it because she cares about Caitlyn? No. Jinx saves Caitlyn to save Vander. Does Jinx know deep down that killing Caitlyn would affect the bridges she’s building with Vi? I absolutely think so.

As Vander saves Jinx from Rictus we see Vi rush in and embrace her family. Caitlyn, while betrayed by Jinx’s unexpected involvement, and who is still knocked down on the floor, briefly locks eyes with Vi only to witness Vi smiling and happy with her family. 

This is the first time Caitlyn gets to see Vi freely happy with the people she loves. All she’s ever witnessed from Vi before is pain. Pain at losing her parents, pain at losing Vander, pain at being locked away for years, pain for leaving Powder and having to accept Jinx. Pain from Caitlyn. And Jinx is right there too, looking happy and holding Vander and Vi in return. Has Vi forgiven Jinx? Can Vi forgive her? Can Caitlyn forgive any of it? 

It’s a lot for Caitlyn to process and she doesn’t really get a chance to before Jayce hammers Viktor to death and sends the place into chaos. 

Instead we see Caitlyn following behind Vi and Jinx as they run outside to see what’s going on. Warwick is back to being bloodthirsty now that Viktor is dead, and Ambessa has arrived with the Noxian army seeking revenge. Her eyes piercing Caitlyn glaringly for her betrayal before she attacks.

It’s important to note that not once during the fight sequence with Vander and the Noxians do we see Caitlyn try and take a shot at Jinx. She easily could have, at multiple points, but she doesn’t. 

Why?

Because when she freed Vi from Stillwater in S1 she decided to trust her. She trusted her because beneath Vi’s tough exterior Caitlyn could see her pain. Since that moment all Caitlyn has wanted to do is soothe Vi’s wounded heart. It’s why she didn’t shoot Jinx in the season 1 finale, it’s why she lets Vi stop her shooting Jinx in Ep3, and it’s why she doesn’t try to shoot Jinx now.

Caitlyn has been devastated by the loss of her mother at Jinx’s hands. It’s a pain she will never fully heal from, and in these moments Caitlyn has to decide if she wants to be responsible for adding to Vi’s pain. Can she kill Vi’s sister? Can she cause more suffering to the woman she loves? More than she already has? The answer is a resounding no. 

Because despite everything, Caitlyn is a good person with a good heart. She was just swept away and lost in her grief. But now she’s anchored again thanks to Vi. She may never forgive Jinx, she may always hate her for what she did but she will always love Vi more.

We see Caitlyn protecting Vi during the fight, and we even see her letting Vi go in order to save Jinx when she gallantly rushes in to try and save Isha.

By the end of Act 2 we stop seeing Commander Caitlyn Kiramman here and simply see Cait again. She’s definitely more bruised and hardened by her trauma and experiences but she’s there, fighting her way back to the surface.

This takes us into Act 3 and Caitlyn’s reconciliation with her true self and her steps towards atonement. 

/

Act 3:

Ep 8 -

This episode starts with an unconscious Vi awakening after her near death experience in ep6. Loris is there when she wakes and he tries to calm her down by answering her burning questions about the locations of Jinx and Cait.

Let’s just take a second to note that Vi isn’t just anywhere in Piltover, oh no, she’s tucked safely in Caitlyn’s bed in the Kiramman house. And Loris openly tells her that Caitlyn rounded up a squad of doctors to patch her back together. There’s a bunch of pillows piled on the side next to Vi - did Caitlyn watch over her while she healed? The show doesn’t explicitly state it, but Loris implies that Caitlyn wanted to be there when Vi woke, suggesting that Caitlyn hasn’t left her side often, and the reason for her absence must be important.

We get to see why Caitlyn isn’t at Vi’s side when she wakes just seconds later. Caitlyn is with Maddie, contemplating Ambessa’s inevitable attack on Piltover. She knows it’s coming, especially now that Ambessa knows of her betrayal. Considering Caitlyn has been the commander of the invasion into Zaun for months at this point, here we see her approach to be a little more cautious. No longer is she so warped by Ambessa’s reckless ways, or her hate fuelled mission for revenge against Jinx, now Caitlyn is trying to find her feet as commander in her own way; listening to her own morals and trying to make the right choices. Caitlyn knows there won’t be any negotiations with Ambessa thanks to her betrayal, and so careful, clever strategy is what she’s going to need to come up with, and fast, if she’s to save Piltover.

Maddie tries to offer comfort but Caitlyn straight up rejects her. Why? Because there was never any true affection between them. Maddie was just a distraction, a warm body to keep Caitlyn’s focus away from Vi and stuck in the darkness she was drowning in. But now that Vi's back in her orbit, Caitlyn is even less interested in Maddie, and the second Vi storms in demanding answers about Jinx, Caitlyn dismisses Maddie without a second thought.

Here we see some of the tension between Caitlyn and Vi boil to the surface. Their reunion in the previous episode was quick, it was based on innate trust and convenience, but there was no time for a proper resolution to the issues between them. Vi demands answers for why Jinx is locked away, accusing Caitlyn of still being on her blinding revenge quest against Jinx. When Caitlyn’s initial attempt to calm Vi falls on deaf ears, she retorts with anger at Vi’s lack of trust in her to do the right thing.

‘Arrested?’

‘Vi…’

‘She saved your life.’

‘If you will just calm down for one—’

‘Even knowing you’d never have done the same for her.’

‘We’ll never know, will we? You didn’t let me in on that part of your plan.’

‘Clearly the right call, since you can’t trust her enough not to shove her in a box.’

‘Trust? You believe I’m so daft I can’t recognise a contingency? She wasn’t there for my benefit. You didn’t trust me to follow through.’

‘Can you blame me? How long were you sidled up with that shifty, self-serving war pig? She oinked poison in your ear, and you just ate it!’

I think Vi’s defence here is fair, given that Vi not only witnessed Caitlyn’s hatred for Jinx morph into an obsession, but that she also got a taste of Caitlyn’s spiral into darkness herself when Caitlyn was cruel to her in ep3. She was in Zaun the entire time Caitlyn was enforcing Ambessa’s martial law too. Vi has seen the violence and the damage done at Caitlyn’s hands with her own eyes. So it’s not a surprise that Vi didn’t trust her fully when they reunited in ep6. Caitlyn has been under Ambessa’s thumb for far too long for Vi to assess just how much lasting damage has been done to Caitlyn in ep6. 

When Vi confronts Caitlyn with this harsh reality, Caitlyn cracks in shame and anger - ‘I know!’

Caitlyn can see what she’s done, what she’s become, and she takes accountability for it with this simple acknowledgement. She’s not a words girl, we know she’s more emotionally repressed when it comes to expressing herself that way, but as she sinks back onto the arm of the couch we can physically see her deflation. Caitlyn is very much aware of her mistakes. She knows she’s had her grief manipulated and that to an extent, because of her hatred of Jinx, she let it happen. It has cost Caitlyn greatly, and we see how fragile her relationship with Vi is now as a result.

But the best thing about this much needed heated exchange is that Caitlyn gets to show Vi that she’s not completely lost to her, that she has managed to start pulling herself out of her darkness. 

‘The only thing Jinx cared about was getting you to safety. Then she just surrendered. I didn’t even have time to think before they hailed her off. She’s being held in the bunker while I decide what to do. I was waiting for you to recover.’

Why did Caitlyn wait? 

Well she unfairly pushed the enforcer badge on to Vi back in episode 1 because she selfishly needed reassurance and loyalty during her spiraling grief. She forced Vi to choose between her and Jinx when deep down Cait knew that would be an impossible thing for Vi to do. 

Caitlyn waiting for Vi to recover before any decision is made about what happens to Jinx proves that Cait wants to atone. It shows Vi where she’s at, and Vi recognises the gesture immediately. There’s her Cait. It’s not commander Kiramman sitting before her, but the woman she was falling for back before Jinx’s attack at the end of season 1.

It gives Vi all she needs to fight for her family; for Jinx and for Cait.

‘Cait, she’s changed.’ 

Vi wants Cait to understand what she’s been going through, what she’s witnessed in regards to Jinx and Isha and the bridges they were beginning to build. But even though Cait hears this - Jinx saved her when she easily could have let Rictus kill her - she can’t quite accept it. Not because she doesn’t necessarily believe Vi but because how can anybody accept the unspeakable violence and acts that Jinx has done? That Caitlyn has done? In Caitlyn’s mind they’re inescapable and unforgivable.

‘We can’t erase our mistakes. None of us.’

But Vi is the voice of reason and immediately challenges her response with this soul searching question - ‘who decides who gets a second chance?’

The conflicting expressions that flicker across Caitlyn’s face as Vi leaves her at the end of this scene shows how carefully and heavily this question sits in Cait’s chest. 

Who does get to decide who deserves a second chance? Is it the responsibility of someone else to decide if you’re worthy? Or is it up to you to free yourself from the burdens of your mistakes?

It’s a set of questions that Caitlyn takes with her when she visits Jinx in her cell. 

We start by seeing Caitlyn taking Jinx a tray of food, a sign of her good heart and the extension of a tentative olive branch before they get into having their first ever, real conversation.

‘Vi thinks that you’ve changed.’

‘She can’t accept what you and I know. There are no happy endings.’

Jinx’s response to Caitlyn’s statement immediately brings us back to Vi’s question for Caitlyn - ‘who decides who gets a second chance?’

Jinx is just as closed off to the idea as Caitlyn (‘We can’t erase our mistakes. None of us.’) and that immediately triggers Caitlyn. Because if they’re right, if they don’t deserve second chances, what’s left of them both?

Caitlyn wants accountability; from Jinx, from herself, and so she presses further:

‘Is that all you have to say for yourself? There won’t be a trial. I’m giving you this one chance to account for your actions, all the pain you’ve caused.’

But Jinx continues to look defeated and doesn’t react, showing a shell of the person Caitlyn knew her to be - the Jinx that Caitlyn despised. Caitlyn grows frustrated and bangs her fist into the cell bars.

‘No amount of good deeds can undo our crimes.’

Here Caitlyn takes accountability by saying ‘our crimes’, she knows they’ve both caused pain, but even that doesn’t get a reaction. Jinx is empty; empty of anger, of hate, of taunts. All the time she’s spent being vengeful hasn’t made her feel better, or changed anything that’s happened, it’s just left her utterly exhausted. There’s no fight left in her and she admits as much to Caitlyn:

‘Do what you came here to do.’

Caitlyn’s lingering anger disappears instantly as she recognises Jinx’s predicament as her own. The cost of their hatred, of their vengeance hasn’t been worth it. It’s cost them both exponentially. They’re both shells of who they were, who they should be.

‘Hating you… I’ve hated myself. I just don’t have the energy for it any longer.’

Caitlyn starts to walk away but before she gets far Jinx gives her the accountability that Caitlyn needs to hear from Jinx in order to free herself of her self hatred:

‘I didn’t know your mom was there. It probably wouldn’t have made a difference, but… I didn’t know.’

It’s not a sorry. These two will never say sorry to each other. They will never like each other. But this is the moment Caitlyn lets go of her hatred, of her need for justice. Jinx’s confession releases Caitlyn from the burden of her guilt over her mother’s death and breaks their cycle of violence.

In return, we see Caitlyn answer Vi’s question. She doesn’t say sorry, or beg for forgiveness, she acts. She orders all the guards to the Hexgates, leaving Jinx unguarded, and in doing so grants Jinx her second chance. She does it not only for herself and for Jinx, but for Vi. 

Caitlyn knows Vi will free Jinx because Vi loves unconditionally. She fights for those she loves and she can’t give up on Jinx because they’re family and Vi feels responsible for her. It’s the essence of who Vi is.

It’s something Caitlyn has come to understand from her grief because she too couldn’t let go; of her mother, of her guilt, of her hatred. It’s because of love that she became the commander and made the mistakes she did, and it’s because of love that Vi will do what she needs to save her sister. But most importantly it's because of love that Caitlyn is willing to let Vi save Jinx, even if that means letting Vi go. Cait’s giving Vi the freedom to make her own choice despite knowing it could cost her what she wants. And what Caitlyn wants more than anything is Vi. 

Caitlyn’s atonement for her sins begins in that one beautiful, selfless act of letting go.

When we next see Caitlyn she is freeing Vi from the cell that Jinx locked her in. Vi is punishing herself for what she thinks is her having made the wrong choice again. She really thought Jinx would help, but she didn’t, she left Vi, and now Vi’s worried that by betraying Cait to free Jinx, she’s lost Caitlyn too. 

‘Did you really think I needed all the guards at the Hexgates? Sorry to say, you’ve grown a bit predictable.’

We already know that Cait set Jinx’s escape up for Vi. That she prioritized her love for Vi over her hatred for Jinx, and in the one confession, Vi now knows it too. Caitlyn acted for her. Caitlyn sees Vi and accepts her fully.

We’ve already established that Caitlyn knew Vi would try to save her sister, but what we didn’t know for certain, and what Caitlyn most definitely didn’t know for certain, is would Vi still be there and would Vi still want her?

Here we get Vi’s answer when Vi finally takes what she wants and kisses Cait. 

Caitlyn can’t quite believe it, but when Vi just keeps on kissing her, it clicks for Cait that Vi does want her just as much as she wants Vi.

I adore the use of lighting in this scene, and I’ve seen a few wonderful posts analysing this in detail, so I won’t overstep. But i just wanted to note how clever it is to see Vi pull Cait out of darkness and back into the light. And while we’re talking about the light I will quickly add on a bit about Maddie. Vi couldn’t give two fucks about her. She didn’t when she met her, she didn’t when she saw her in Cait’s house, and she doesn’t give a fuck if she was in Cait’s bed. Vi knows Cait lost herself, and Maddie was simply something for Cait to lose herself in, as much as fighting and alcohol was for Vi. All that matters is now, and what matters now is her and Cait.

I could talk about their sex scene beat by beat but I think the fandom has analysed it to death beautifully already. What I will say is we see the culmination of both their arcs here. Vi, at Jinx’s behest, finally lets herself be happy and what makes her happy is Caitlyn. And Caitlyn uses every touch to apologise, to show her love and regret to Vi. She gives up the control that has kept her blindly focused on her revenge and hatred. Cait gives herself over completely to Vi’s love and redeems her soul by doing so. It’s beautiful to see Vi finally take what she wants.

The culmination of this episode is heartwarming. We see Cait giving Jinx a second chance, Jinx then in turn gives Vi a second chance by setting her free from the burden of their tormented past, and Vi returns that grace by granting Cait a second chance from her mistakes. 

The three of them break the cycle together.

—-

Ep 9 -

A lot happens in this final episode but I’m strictly going to try and focus on Caitlyn and Vi before this analysis grows any longer.

Piltover is preparing for Ambessa’s and Viktor’s attack. We see Caitlyn and Vi in the council bunker with Jayce and Mel. Here Jayce tells Caitlyn, Vi and Mel that he needs them to take the enforcers and buy him as much time against Ambessa’s forces while he shuts down the Hexgates.

When Jayce says this is a fight they’re supposed to lose, Vi’s fist visibly clenches. She doesn’t like losing fights, and definitely doesn’t want to lose this one now that she’s finally letting herself be happy, but you can tell Vi is tired. She’s been fucking through it emotionally and physically these past 2 seasons and Cait catches her anxiety instantly. It’s only a fleeting moment, but we see Cait cover Vi’s hand and squeeze in support and encouragement. Vi doesn’t have to fight alone anymore. They can fight together.

Here we see Caitlyn embodying her role as the commander she was always meant to be when she says they can stop Viktor, and determidly shoves his little model down. I love seeing her so strong and resolved here. She’s got far too much to fight for and to put right to admit defeat so easily.

While Vi is off with her batch of enforcers leading a charge from one of the towers, Caitlyn is down in the front line with her own squad fighting back the Noxian forces who have Ambessa leading the charge. 

We see Caitlyn with her trusty rifle and Maddie as her spotter fighting hard, but can only watch in horror as a shimmer fuelled army seems to be relentlessly coming for them. Commander Caitlyn kicks in and keeps her team going even when it seems like they might be losing. She fights with everything she has to put their plan into action, knowing that she has mistakes to atone for.

But something goes wrong and before she knows what’s happening, Caitlyn takes a massive hit to the back of the head. It winds her and leaves her struggling to get up, and when she does it’s to see that her enforcers have been captured by the Noxian troops, and Ambessa is marching straight towards her.

When she glances back to see who has a rifle aimed at the back of her head, Caitlyn comes face to face with Maddie. It’s here that we get the reveal that Maddie is a Noxian spy and has been working for Ambessa the entire time. It’s another mistake for Caitlyn, a failing of her judgment, once again made during her grief and manipulated by Ambessa perfectly.

‘I warned you of the hazards of professional entanglement.’

Ambessa’s gloating is a horrible reminder of how fair Caitlyn let herself fall beneath Ambessa’s influence, and I think it’s this self awareness, this shame, that causes Caitlyn to take her chance. She never really had any true feelings for Maddie, Caitlyn was using her for distraction just as Maddie was using her for information, and now she has an opportunity to atone for her sins by ending this war if she can just get the shot on Ambessa.

Caitlyn smashes the rifle back into Maddie’s face as she grabs it from her and takes her aim at Ambessa. But of course Ambessa anticipates Caitlyn’s reckless attempt, she goaded her into it after all, and Caitlyn once again pays the price for her mistakes when Ambessa thwarts her attack and stab’s Caitlyn in the stomach instead.

When Caitlyn falls to her knees before Ambessa and her mocking ‘desperation is the doorway to oblivion, child’ you can see the sorrow on Cait’s face. In her eyes she has failed. She’s failed Piltover, she’s failed herself, and she’s failed Vi. Filled with regret, I imagine Cait’s life flashes before her eyes as Maddie loads the gun and takes the shot.

There’s the sound of the gun firing, a cracking of gold, and then the wet sound of blood. Maddie’s body slops weightless down against her back before slumping to the ground and Caitlyn is left with the stark realisation that she isn’t dead. Her second chance is truly a second chance.

Enter Mel, in all her glorious magical power. While she faces off with her mother, Jinx joins the battle in her outlandish way, and the symbolism of second choices being worth having comes full circle as the chaos of her arrival grants Piltover and Zaun another chance to fight back.

The enforcers break free during the chaos and continue to fight, and Viktor’s hive mind army starts rushing the Hexgate while Mel and Caitlyn face off with Ambessa. 

This fight shows off Caitlyn’s redemption arc beautifully. With renewed strength Caitlyn is back on her feet and circling Ambessa as she exchanges heated words with Mel.

Fuck words though, Caitlyn is a woman made of action, and with determination thrumming through her veins, she punches Ambessa in the face, cutting off her self-serving tirade.

‘Shut up and fight.’

Caitlyn truly becomes the commander she was always meant to be when she challenges Ambessa here. She has a lot to prove, a lot to atone for and a lot left to fight for, and Caitlyn gives every bit of herself over to it, consequences be damned. She’s willing to give her life to save everyone, and if that’s not Caitlyn trying to be redeemed I don’t know what else she could do.

The fight sequence is incredible. Ambessa takes on her daughter duo skillfully. Ambessa is a tank of a woman, a fearless leader and a fierce fighter. But Caitlyn has grown and changed. She’s not the naive child Ambessa manipulated anymore, she’s a wise, hardened warrior with a good heart and an unwavering desire to make amends.

We see Caitlyn’s true, courageous strength in this scene as she uses Ambessa’s own Noxian teachings against her;

Caitlyn fights with all her might; she ignores the blade in her stomach and goes for Ambessa again and again, taking blow after blow but never quitting. 

She fights with vision; her intuitiveness effectively analysing Ambessa’s movement, choices and weaknesses. She sees the runic band around her arm deflecting Mel’s attacks, and plans to use it against her.

She fights with guile; when Ambessa has her on her knees, a blade heading towards her eye, and Ambessa’s air of victory about her, Cait uses the blade in her stomach to make her move and slices the band from Ambessa’s arm.

But most importantly Caitlyn sacrifices.

In season 1 she trades her prized rifle, which is essentially an extension of who Caitlyn is at her very core, to get the medicine needed to save Vi. Here, in the fight against Ambessa, Caitlyn gives over even more. She gives her eye - an actual piece of herself - to try and save Piltover and Zaun. Cait is a marksman, her sight is imperative, and yet Caitlyn gives her eye freely. She doesn’t do it for forgiveness but because she needs to try and make amends and put things right. She does it because she was willing to pay the ultimate price of her sins.

Words mean a lot, but so do actions, and Cait is redeemed by hers in these final episodes, in my opinion at least. 

After the battle is over and it appears they’ve won we don’t see Cait and Vi again until the very end but we do see Sevika taking a seat at the council. Cait has given her seat to Zaun. She took so much from them during her grief and hatred and now that she’s free from that, she gives them her seat so they can have a voice. Their own voice. I don’t personally see how Caitlyn could ever remain in the council when she was an oppressor to Zaun. She had to step back and give that up in order for the divide between Piltover and Zaun to continue to grow and heal. Her purpose in rebuilding will be found elsewhere.

With that said, we don’t know if Cait is still an enforcer or not, but we do see eye-patch Caitlyn back to her investigative ways. She’s pensively studying the Hexgates blueprint while twirling a piece of shrapnel between her fingers. It’s not just any piece of shrapnel though, it’s the head of one of Jinx’s monkey bombs. Caitlyn zooms in on the vents leading off the Hexgates, and it appears she’s pondering one question; could Jinx have survived and escaped?

The question is why is Caitlyn looking in the first place. Is she looking to simply help Vi with getting closure? Or is Cait looking because second chances and forgiveness become more healing with time? Is there a world where Caitlyn and Jinx can grow and heal enough to both be in Vi’s orbit without hurting her? It’s left open to interpretation. But it’s hopeful after all the pain the three of them have endured.

We see Vi looking emotionally and physically spent as she hums to herself. But she also looks calm and at peace. Humming, enjoying the fire, comfortably sitting like she’s at home in the Kiramman house. It’s heartwarming to see Vi looking safe; like she belongs.

Cait comes through from her investigating, and teases Vi slightly showing a domestic growth in their relationship. We don’t know how long it’s been but we can assume both cities are still in a state of rebuild and change. 

Caitlyn is still a Kiramman however. She might not be a commander anymore but she still has a sense of duty and will always want to help, and she checks in with Vi to see if she’s still there with her. Because Vi doesn’t have to fight anymore if she doesn’t want to, and if she doesn’t, Caitlyn won’t ask her too. 

‘Are you still in this fight, Violet?’

But the thing about Vi is no matter how emotionally and physically exhausted she is, or how beaten down, Vi will always get up. It’s just who Violet is at her core. Vi fights for what she loves, to protect and help them, and the person Vi loves more than anything is Caitlyn, so of course Vi is right there with her. 

‘I am the dirt under your nails, cupcake. Nothing’s gonna clean me out.’

Together they will weep, and laugh, and love, and heal, and work to make things better. Together they will keep moving forwards, always.

——

With all that picked apart, I think Caitlyn is a well rounded, flawed character, and she’ll always be up there as one of my favourites now. We see her go through hell and back and come out the other side with a good heart. She’s not perfect… but just like Vi, I love her.

[imagionationstation]

I have an idea: what would have happened if Donnie got mind controlled instead of Raph in that one scene in Clash Of The Mutanimals?

“That one scene”

See, my first thought was to do an analysis but then I realized that an analysis on a scene that I could very easily rewrite to answer what is very clearly a prompt (and I will accept it as nothing else) would be less fun. And, I mean, you can’t start in the middle of the story.

You gotta flip back a few pages to get the better picture.

So you get two scenes!!

When Donnie wakes up, his thoughts are sluggish.

Everything blends into one another, hazing his world as he brings a hand to his face. He smashes it against skin, trying to wake up his brain. He’s on his knees. He’s on his knees in a- he opens his eyes, giving the room a lost look- a red room?

“…Where… Am I?” He rubs again, frustrated by the lack of compliance, trying to remember how he got here or why there’s a little fluttering sound from somewhere behind him-

Something thuds, quietly. He drops his hand, looking towards it.

His eyes widen. Shredder puts on his helmet.

“Your new home, mutant.” 

Nope, nope, nope, nope to that-

Donnie scrambles to his feet, turning around-

Tiger Claw is there, blade held up to his plastron.

Donnie’s bo finds its way to his hands, knocking it away as he steps back. It’s a long range weapon, awful in close quarters- but now he’s closer to Shredder.

His eyes immediately go up to scan the room, looking for another exit plan-

“Drop the staff.”

Donnie does. Then he panics, going for it-

“Leave it.”

His muscles lock up. He wants to reach for it but he doesn’t. He can’t move. He can’t get so much of a twitch out of his fingers, hand beginning to shake from the strain. He can’t reach it he can’t pick it up why can’t he reach it-

He can’t reach it and Shredder’s behind him- he’sbehindhim- and goosebumps smear down his skin with his presence- it’s not working- so Donnie aborts.

Donnie abandons his staff and goes for the kunai in his belt, spinning around and going for the neck- 

“Stop.”

Donnie stops. He stops the whole motion, dropping any pretense of continuing so he can step back and gasp, “What did you do to me?”

Shredder looks at Stockman, “None of the others had these results.”

“No.” Stockman agrees. Donnie’s head hurts, a dizzying kind of pain as tries to remember how he got here. Who are these others? Where are his brothers? What happened to his brothers? “We had the psychic within the second command.”

Psychic?! April?!

Shredder looks at him. The intense feeling of vulnerability returns under his stare and his eyes dart to the door across the room.

“Come to me.”

Oh no-

Donnie does, pain blossoming with every step that he fights. So he stops fighting, legs stopping him right in front of the horror of many nightmares, and he whispers, “What did you do to me?”

“I changed your alliance.” He responds cooly. “Your loyalties belong to me now.” 

His heart pulsates. Pinprick eyes narrow. “No.”

“Yes.” He leans closer. “Bow to me.”

His muscles lock again, only this time, it’s his intention. He refuses to get down, refuses to bow before another master- no matter how hot the fire in his brain is, no matter how much it hurts- he won’t make him he can’t make him he’s stronger than-

“Bow.” Shredder booms as his voice darkens. “Now.”

The fire explodes, raining down on everything. He wants to scream.

Silently, swiftly, he falls to his knees, head bowed low.

“Good.” Shredder says. “Look at me.” 

He looks up, eyes a soulless white. 

“Grab your weapon.” Shredder releases the blades of his gauntlet as he stands. “And attack me.”

Leo is all too relieved to find Donnie alive.

When Leatherhead breaks through the gate, his younger brother has positioned himself on one of the statues. He isn’t bothered by the crash, continuing to fire one of Tiger Claw’s weapons at Shredder. Admist them, he throws down a smoke bomb.

It lands under his feet, exploding and sending him into his back.

Donnie pounces with Raph and Mikey’s overjoyed cries, “Woah, Donnie!” “Go Dee!” but Leo notices how he lands on the armor, how a gauntlet blade slices against his ankle and he doesn’t even react.

He’s never seen him that- focused before.

That doesn’t matter now, because Donnie has the gun pointed at the flesh of his face and he’s not firing, “Donnie! Do it! End this!”

Donnie doesn’t move or even react to his voice, and their brothers look to Leo as their leader scans for any other threats, anything that might be holding him back.

Raph bursts, “What is he waiting for?!”

Donnie turns, and he steps off, setting the ray in Shredder’s outstretched hand when he rises.

Shredder laughs.

Leo can’t take his eyes off his little brother. 

“Donatello is mine now to control.”

The gate slams shut behind them. Leo’s heart pounds.

“As are your other mutant friends.” 

The mutanimals come out of their respective places behind the statues. Raph’s worried voice calls, “Slash!” 

Slash looks at Raph and he raises his mace. Leo reaches out a hand to the side, a means of comfort and a warning to stay still, as Tiger Claw preens, “No escape for you, reptiles.”

Shredder holds out the weapon to his second-in-command. Donnie pulls out his staff, unsheathing the blade. 

“Donnie?” Mikey asks, a tremor in his voice.

Donnie doesn’t acknowledge it, moving beside Shredder.

“Now.” Shredder announces. “Let us welcome you properly.” 

Leo doesn’t give him the chance. He bolts to the front of the group, launching himself at the monster that stole his little brother.

Shredder doesn’t move.

Donnie does.

He places himself as a boundary between Leo and Shredder, catching his katanas before they can hit. Leo has no choice but to throw himself away, snapping, “Donnie! Back off!” He reorients himself, hitting the ground. “Shredder’s the enemy!” 

“My allegiance does not lie with you.” He responds simply. “Nor does my loyalty.”

Then Donnie’s crossing the distance, whirling his staff and throwing himself at Leo. Leo goes to meet him halfway, determined to knock him off his feet long enough to get through to him, startled by how different every move is.

There’s no hesitation to each blow, no extra care taken to prevent injury or calculation made to get the best outcome. He reacts every time, practically taking off Leo’s head and limbs more than once, only prevented by his quick reaction time. If he’s being perfectly honest with himself, he’s normally one step ahead, but now he can barely keep up. He’s forced to neglect their surroundings to focus on each blow, hoping that he can trust their brothers to handle their own.

Then his katanas are embedded in Donnie’s staff and Donnie’s knee is coming up to catch his chin. He stumbles, realizing too late that he left his blades behind. 

Donnie tears them out and throws them out of reach.

Leo knows he won’t last two seconds unarmed so he puts distance between them, getting to the top of one of the statues. Donnie doesn’t follow, watching from the ground, and Leo uses the breathing room to reach for his brother. “Donnie! This isn’t you! Think about it! You’ve got to break Shredder’s control!” 

“I am thinking clearly.” His little brother’s voice in unnatural, bland and bored in tone. “And I do not align with you anymore.” 

Leo points at the monster watching, baffled. “I’m your brother! That’s the Shredder!”

“I don’t care what you think.” Donnie plants his staff on the ground. “I do not follow you anymore, Leonardo. Accept it.”

“No.” Leo snarls as he throws one of the weapons embedded in the statue’s head, taking the trident with him. “Never.”

Donnie throws the first away, barely able to stop the trident with his bo. Leo presses down hard. Donnie’s expression changes and his eyes narrow, suddenly dropping the protective stance. 

“Woah!” Leo’s blade almost crashes into his forehead, but he catches it before it scrapes skin. They stare at one another, frozen, and Donnie states, “There. A weakness.”

He brings his staff up, knocking the blade away from his face, and then takes off.

Obviously, Leo follows him, and watches as he throws himself into Leatherhead’s and Slash’s battle. He jumps in the way of the mace and Slash hits him without blinking. He goes flying, and Leo screams, “LEATHERHEAD!”

Leatherhead throws him. He reaches his brother, arms around him, taking the combined blow of them both slamming into the gate. Donnie doesn’t hesitate, spinning around to shove the throwing star in his hand into Leo’s shoulder.

Leo catches his wrist, hissing, “Donnie-” 

Donnie elbows him in the gut and takes off. 

He runs towards Rockwell and Raph as the psychic mutant tries to impale their brother with his own sais. Donnie jumps up as they fly through the air. Leo grabs his legs, dragging them back down before they can impale him. 

Donnie swerves for him, staff coming down on his skull as they hit the ground, but Leo releases and rolls. Then he tackles his younger brother before he can try that idiocy again, trapping both arms against the ground, “Donnie! Stop this madness!”

Donnie grits his teeth, each thrashing movement more intense than the last. “No!” 

“Yes!” He doesn’t let up. “You’re his puppet! Can’t you see that?”

“Let me go!”

“Snap out of it!”

“Leo, please!” He begs. “You’re hurting me!”

Leo’s world tilts the wrong way, panic searing straight from his heart and into his brain, apology on the tip of his tongue. But he swallows it because Donnie’s eyes do not match his tone, cold and hard in a way that can never rule or not define his passionate little brother. 

“Are you-” It hits him. “-are you trying to manipulate me?”

Donnie raises an eye ridge, pausing in his struggle. “What took you so long?” 

Leo’s chest burns. So that’s the play? Really? Fine.

“I can’t believe you.” Leo tears himself away, putting distance between them. He turns back to his brother as he spins his staff. “I can’t believe you would do that!”

Donnie moves a few steps. Leo refuses to follow, “You’ve been with Shredder all of five minutes and this is the monster he turns you into?” 

A pause, “I am no different.” 

“You bet you are.” He growls. “I thought better of you. But I should have known. Of course you can’t stop this! You’re not strong enough! I can’t believe you’d disappoint me like this.” 

His stance falters. “What?”

Leo steps towards him, never breaking their gaze. “You heard me. You’re a disappointment, Donatello.” 

The staff slips from his fingers. He pushes, “You want to stay here? By all means! Stay! I won’t waste any energy stopping you.”

There are tears in blank eyes. Leo turns away.

A final nail in the coffin, he shouts. “Have fun with your new clan. Today, you are no longer my brother!”

Leo runs. Donnie gasps, “Leo, wait-!”

He chokes and Leo spins around in an instant.

He’s by his side as he hits his knees, gagging the brainworm onto the ground. Leo stabs it as it squirms, setting his attention on his little brother, hands on shaking shoulders. “Donnie?”

“I’m sorry,” He whimpers, looking up, face streaked with tears. “I’m sorry I’m sorryI’msorryImsorry-” 

“Nonono-“ Leo hugs him, tight, his little brother’s head on his shoulder. “It’s okay. You don’t have to apologize. I didn’t mean a single word I said- I swear, I didn’t. 

“I couldn’t-“ His breath hitches. “I couldn’t stop-“

“I know.” He says gently. “I know I know- I went too far. I just wanted to snap you out of it and I wanted to get you back. You’re my brother, you never disappointed me, and I’d never leave without you. I wanted you back. I just wanted you back.”

Donnie pulls away, looking him in the eyes, desperation visible, “Really?”

“I promise.” Leo squeezes his arm. “I swear on my life.”

He swallows, breath hitching, brushing at his face. 

Leo gets to his feet. “GUYS! GET THEM UPSET! FEELING SOMETHING SNAPS THEM OUT OF IT!”

“GOOD!” Raph calls back. “RIGHT UP MY ALLEY!”

Leo looks to Donnie. His younger brother exhales softly, brown eyes lingering uncomfortably on the brainworm.

He holds out his hand. Tired eyes look up.

“He’s not the only one.” Leo jokes, lightly. “Why don’t I make it up to you?”

He pulls his little brother to his feet. 

“Oh yeah?”

He smirks. “Help me take down the Shredder?” 

Determination sparks, lighting up his gaze, strengthening his stance. 

“Let’s bash his face in.” 

Leo’s never felt prouder.