#taking a break from the 2015 album bc i love this song

[usabun-tl]

Beethoven's White Noise・ベートーヴェンのホワイトノイズ — PELICAN FANCLUB

English+Romaji Translation

結局人間が好きだった

kekkyoku ningen ga suki datta

In the end, I liked humans

なぜなら僕は人間だ

naza nara boku wa ningen da

After all, I'm human too

当たり前の手前の理由を探した

atari mae no temae no riyuu wo sagashita

I searched for that obvious answer that was right in front of me

結局人間がわからない

kekkyoku ningen ga wakaranai

In the end, I don't understand humans

次の日はもう別人だ

tsugi no hi wa mou betsujin da

By tomorrow you'll be a stranger

当たり前に名前を変えていつも

atari mae ni namae wo kaete itsumo

So of course you're always changing your name

振り回されてふりだしに来て

furi mawasarete furidashi kite

I came back to the start swinging

振り回していた

furi mawashiteita

I was swinging

心なしはどうかしている

kokoro nashi wa douka shiteiru

Without a heart, I've lost my mind

どの言葉もどうかしている

dono kotoba mo douka shiteiru

And those words make me crazy too

たった一つ信じたのは

tatta hitotsu shinjita no wa

The one thing I believed in

ベートーヴェンの「運命」だった

beetoovun no unmei datta

Was Beethoven's "Fate"

心なしかどうかしていた

kokoro nashi ka douka shiteita

I had lost my heart, lost my mind

堂々巡り　どうかしていた

doudou meguri doukashiteita

Going around in circles, out of my mind

たった一つ忘れていた

tatta hitotsu wasureteita

The one thing I had forgotten

ベートーヴェンも人間だった

beeroovun mo ningen datta

Was that Beethoven was human too

結局人間ってなんだっけ？

kekkyoku ningen tte nandakke

In the end, what makes a human?

心かそれか感情か？

kokoro ka sore ka kanjou ka

Could it be a heart, or emotions?

頭を経由しているかどうか？

atama wo keiyuu shiteiru ka douka

Could it be through the mind?

今更　引き戻されて

imasara hiki modosarete

By now I've been brought back

引き返せなくなった

hiki kaesenakunatta

And returning has become impossible

心なしはどうかしている

kokoro nashi wa douka shiteiru

Without a heart, I've lost my mind

どの言葉も泥の中

dono kotoba mo doro no naka

And those words are stuck inside of mud

たった一つ照らしていた

tatta hitotsu terashiteita

The one thing illuminated

ベートーヴェンの「月光」だった

beetoovun no gekkou datta

Was Beethoven's "Moonlight"

心なしかどうかしていた

kokoro nashi ka douka shiteita

I had lost my heart, lost my mind

堂々としてどうかしていた

doudou toshite douka shiteita

Magnificently out of my mind

たった一つ忘れたんだ

tatta hitotsu wasuretanda

The one thing I had forgotten

ベートーヴェンも人間だっけ？

beetoovun mo ningen dakke

Wasn't Beethoven human too?

僕らが見てきた生活は作品の中

bokura ga mitekita seikatsu wa sakuhin no naka

This way of life we've come to see is inside of these songs

いつか終わりが来ることに気づけない

itsuka owari ga kuru koto ni kizuikenai

We won't be able to tell when the end is coming

惑わされているよう

madowasareteiru you

As if we've been led astray

ホワイトノイズ

howaito noizu

White noise

心なしはどうかしている

kokoro nashi wa douka shiteiru

Without a heart, I've lost my mind

どの言葉もどうでもよくて

dono kotoba mo dou demo yokute

And I'm not going to worry about those words

たった一つ　決まっていたのは

tatta hitotsu kimatteita no wa

The one thing I've settled

彷徨うだけの運命だった

samayou dake no unmei datta

Is that my fate was to simply wander around this life

心なしかどうかしていた

kokoro nashi ka douka shiteita

I had lost my heart, lost my mind

堂々としてどうかしていよう

doudou toshite douka shitei you

Magnificently out of my mind

たった一つ大事にしたい

tatta hitotsu daiji ni shitai

The one thing I want to cherish

僕も君も人間だった

boku mo kimi mo ningen datta

Is that you and I were human

[kangsxsienna]

hello! happy to be here as kang siyoung / sienna, angelic’s main rapper & dancer and a soloist in her own right. i was here before at famed as san, kami, xi and etc! i’m also bringing san and will be posting his intro as well! below the cut you’ll find links, some facts and a few idea bunnies! 

Profile / About / Career / Plots / Open Claims  ( i’ll be working on adding variety and extra things but right now it’s focused on music / choreo related things. not listed but also applies if you wanted a role in mv or directed one.  if people want to back-date working with her or if you’re thinking of bringing a new muse and want to add things to their career.) 

facts:

kang siyoung or sienna. sienna is her english name and she since used it as her stage name 

adopted at two years old by parents who’s relationship quickly went south. both still support her but their focus is moreso on their new families respectively. 

got into everlast and debuted in angelic as the groups youngest member, main rapper and dancer 

got into a bit of trouble in high-school because she went out of her way to take the boyfriend of a girl she thought was a bitch and bully. #noregrets 

started to work on the group’s sound in 2015. she since then she’s worked on every comeback in someway including, song-writing / producing, choreography, styling. she’s also done this for other groups canon groups in the rp as well as it being one of her main focuses of income for smaller npc groups in the universe 

random but she’s not good at variety, during promotions one or two shows that are in a group setting though, she does have a love for crime scene 

performances at underground clubs / small festivals and mainly college festivals, her biggest festival performance was this year at waterbomb 

her youtube channel has her personal videos, music videos, dance videos and etc. one stop shop 

is a perfectionist work-a-holic 

trying to work on not being so cold and deadpanned 

is a good artist and likes to go on live and sketch sometimes 

comes off a tad cold and honestly, she likes it that way but is less formal once you get to know her, unformal if they’re friends 

does NOT have a chip on her shoulder when it comes to family and how she feels about hers.

no chip

nope not a one

loves anything horror. listens to the true crime podcast, scream posters, watches the wailing like it’s a romantic comedy 

as a unique relationship with her fans as she’s always had boundaries. has a strict relationship with them in what she shares and how. 

was the sexy-cutie in her group and it fit her well. that being said, her solo popularity didn’t carry over to solo work. often dismissed for her looks but the bigger issue was that the concept didn’t work with her. she has seen a rise since curving out a concept for herself with culture creative. that being said, her reputation is fairly high. known by staff and idols as a hard-working. (still goes around to pass out her album) though people might not know her, they don’t hear bad about her. and then her fandom is pretty good all things considered, she has slightly above average sales for a soloist but a lot of her engagement comes from social media, her connections and etc. 

ideas: (copied from my plot page bc #lazy) 

family relation! she would be the oldest sibling on all sides, unless she step-siblings were older but any half-siblings would most likely be younger! including her birth siblings that she knows about but don’t know about her 

i have to check to see if she has any over-lapping credits, but any connections from them working on something together as creators or an artist or group she did work for!

a little gc of song-writer / producers and they send each other little audio snippets and be amazing together 

one or two ex’s, bc home girl did focus on her career more than her relationships, she also blew threw some people, thinking they were on the same page (they weren’t) 

the one that did break her heart (or will?)

that nice core group of 3-4 friends 

the one bff that you can’t replace

possible enemy? 

someone who catches her resting bitch face and now there is a problem 

featuring on her youtube channel? 

planning to release music together 

some friends or peeps from high school? 

related to the above fact, if your muse was a mean girl or mean girl ish in high school or the boyfriend that she stole and then dropped shortly after 

dancing related friends

stylist related friends 

art friends 

like this and i’ll come to you or if you see something that checks out, lemme know! 

[sunlightandsuffering]

Prompt : they are both famous and secretly dating.

tbh I don't know what this is or if it makes any sense at all, so sorry anon for butchering ur prompt, but I'm a basic bitch and I like my drake, so like this is gonna be pain bcuz my favourite song on the new album is just pain and I can't stop thinking about a fucked up celebs relationship to it, just ANGST AND PAIN!! 😭😭 but those lyrics hit, can't believe I wrote a song fic ugh circa Tumblr 2015 jfc I'mma write a happier ending to this in another prompt 😂 bc someone else asked for the same thing.

Fucking Fans

I'm still working on me

Eren stands at the Met Gala, holding Mikasa by the waist, giving a cramped smile for photos and keeping her close. People call their names and cameras flash and his beloved blinks, hiding her face into his shoulder as the lights overwhelm her.

He looks down at her lovingly as some jackass reporter yells about a cheating rumour and her pretty face pinches up. Eren is quick to comfort her with his touch, both hands gripping her waist reassuringly as he decides it's time for them to go inside.

"Come on Miki," he kisses her forehead and she nods, accepting. Neither of them wants to think about those rumours, the damage and the pain they bring up is too much and it's all his fault, he knows, but he can't undo it.

The guilt eats at him and she holds his hand tighter, the despair takes him and she cuddles him at night.

They're together now but sometimes Eren wonders just how it happened, how he came back from falling so far. How she took him back when he fucked up so massively.

And I'm coming back better for you

The day he shows up on her door step again is the day of the biggest awards show of the season, the one he knows she's going to kill and probably sweep several categories. Just because she's that amazing. He finds her where he expects, in her apartment, the address Armin gave him, doing her own hair and makeup, humble Mikasa just like always, ironing out her own dress. He shows up in a suit with as many white roses as he can fit into a bouquet and ready to leave if she still hates him, which she has every right to.

But he's been through months of therapy, gave Armin control of his bank account, and check himself into rehab thrice, every time he was even inching closer to relapse.

He's not fixed, but he's better, marginally, and he wants her to know it, know he still loves her at the very least.

She opens the door, beautiful even without makeup, and wearing a white slip and her pretty red mouth parts in shock.

All he can do is hold out his roses as tears leave his eyes at seeing her for the first time in months.

Most times it was my selfishness and your helplessness that I took advantage of

It was so easy with Mikasa, she was so devoted to him. So loving and sweet, always there for him.

She'd wait up, let him do what he wanted, never wanting to stifle or control him. Too afraid their tenuous relationship would crack and they'd break up.

A part of him blames her for it, for being so willing to let him do what he wanted. She'd been passive, unsure how to insert herself, had minimal complaints, letting him ruin his life party by party, late night after late night, drugs and alcohol all of it.

But he knows he can never hold her accountable for his own actions, and the day she's finally done with his bullshit is both the best and worst day of his life. She finally says no, and it begins his path to fixing himself. Because hitting rock bottom is losing the most important thing in his life, and that's Mikasa.

You sit in the house and I be out and I know you're worried, up

The problem with her passivity is he knows it's not passivity at all, she just doesn't know what to do, how to fix him. Eren has always had a temper, and she's known him for a long time, knows he'll lash out and behave worse if provoked. So she'd reacted as best she could, leaving rehab pamphlets out, asking him to stay in and watch movies, bake with her, anything other than going out to party.

But he'd stumble home every night and see her asleep on the couch, waiting. Always there to pick him up instead of a cab, not wanting the paparazzi to get a hold of him, she was always there.

And you try and block it out

They lived in a bubble, they pretended it didn't happen. They didn't acknowledge when he was too hungover to shoot the next morning. She'd brew him coffee, get him through the day, flush his drug stash when they checked, both his saving grace and biggest enabler.

Even when he's kissing her for more than just an on-screen kiss, lips drinking her in like a man starved, and the next morning she finds new girls in his bed, she keeps quiet.

They're a mess, but every time she dutifully kicks the girls out and drags him to the shower.

I'm so sorry for letting you down

When he'd first become famous, he hadn't known what to do with himself. He'd been scouted for how many movies, tv-shows, underwear commercials, brand deals. It was a whirlwind as Hollywood found their new boy wonder, handsome, smart and a nice boy.

His best friend, and female love interest in their debut movie, Mikasa, who had followed him to Hollywood on nothing more than a whim, was equally bombarded with fame and fortune. They'd always been close, always best friends, but never quite more, no matter how much they both obviously wanted it. It never progressed beyond a few acted kisses.

Still, they got an apartment together, and Eren had thought it was the start of something great, he was living the dream. Rich and famous with his best friend, the girl he'd secretly loved since he was young.

He'd been content just to stay up late and watch movies with her before work, to visit her on set and bring her donuts. They were Hollywood's shining stars, two kids sickeningly sweet in love even though they weren't officially dating, they were as good as.

At the advice of his agent, he'd started doing more, started picking up a few other gigs on the side, modelling, but he kept it small, he didn't want to overwhelm himself, and he still wanted time for Mikasa.

It had gone well, they'd taken fame okay, and Eren had been proud, neither of them had a sex-scandal or a pregnancy scare yet. They'd even been inching towards finally being something more than just friends, a few heated looks, some on-stage kisses to finally get the ball rolling.

Then Mikasa had been cast in an upcoming romance movie and her love interest hadn't been Eren, it had been Jean.

That had been the start of his spiral.

He'd never meant for it to get so far out of control, how many movies he started doing, how many promotions. Meanwhile Mikasa, smart, brilliant Mikasa stuck with smaller projects and only ever one at a time, preferring to keep close to their apartment. He was all she had, and she was all he wanted.

Nights when I just needed to hold somebody

He misses her, lays in bed awake at night thinking about her, how long it’s been, when was the last time he saw the curve of her face in person and not in a washed-out picture on a magazine. Girls in and out of his apartment, trying to fill the empty void inside him, and nothing works, nothing ever works. Because he’d fucked it up, said he didn’t need her, told her he could do it on his own, fame wouldn’t take him. Called each other names, every one in the book, screaming matches over stupid shit, if he should take that job, what she was doing with Jean, how she was eating, if she was eating enough.

The toxicity was palpable in their apartment until finally Mikasa just left and he broke.

Feeling overwhelmed, should've told somebody

Fame takes him like a drug addiction, actually it comes with a drug addiction, heroine, cocaine, molly, all of it. In trying to ditch his Hollywood’s sweetheart, good boy image he diverts his life so radically he doesn’t know if he can ever get back to where he was. He loses weight, barely gets by, he doesn’t even understand how he’s still getting booked, but people want him even more now that he’s Hollywood’s bad boy. Meanwhile Mikasa is disgraced now that he’s ‘thrown her away’ even though it was the other way around. Last he heard she lived in a little apartment on the upper east side, leaves only to work, and to fly up to see their families. He hasn’t seen his parents in months, doesn’t want to. Doesn’t want to see the look in their eyes when they realize how skinny he’s gotten, how his body lacks muscle, skin barely clinging to bone, gaunt and lifeless.

He needs help, but he’s spiraling, he’s committed and no matter how many times Armin tries to get him into rehab, he never goes. What’s the point Mikasa is gone, he’s not getting her back, all he has now is the money, the drugs, and the women.

Picturin' it's me sending chills through your body

He hears she’s dating Jean now and somehow, he gets worse.

Every fear he’d ever had comes to life and he gets angry, his temper coming back full force. The past few months he’d barely been getting by, not really living, but his rage awakens him. She’d told him no, that they weren’t dating, never so much as kissed outside of work. What a fucking lie.

How many girls he takes home that month he doesn’t know, how many paparazzi photos of women leaving his apartment, how he dreams it’s Mikasa under him, not some rando.

He sees her on the cover of some magazine, walking innocently with Jean and it sends him into even more of a rage, but under it all he wishes it was him, doesn’t matter that they were never official, that it only happened a few times, he wants her back. But Eren’s never been good at navigating his emotions, so he clings to his rage like a lifeline.

I just probably should've chilled 'til I saw you

When they ask about her in interviews, he doesn’t answer. Not until that once, when he lets it slip and he watches Armin wilt in real time from behind the camera as he spits the words, “I think it’s obvious, she’s with Jean now isn’t she, right after she was with me, figure it out yourself.”

The insinuation is lethal, cruel, mean and he knows it’s not true, but he says it anyway. He knows she didn't do it, but still the coincidence hurts too much, the very thought that there might have been something romantic going on with them before makes him want to throw up.

The interviewer looks shocked before he brightens up at the tidbit of information, like a vulture picking apart the last pieces of his heart, massacring it further, but Eren doesn’t mind the pain anymore. It fuels his rage and that’s all he has these days.

How am I supposed to get to know somebody?

When the rage wears off months later and Mikasa has done nothing, no comment on his interviews, no appearances, no angry texts, just silence, he becomes numb. Then the sadness sets in, because losing her romantically isn’t even the worst part, he doesn’t even have his best friend anymore, he’s lost her too.

She’s become a recluse, a hermit, he hasn’t even seen her with Jean on the magazine covers lately. Distantly he knows it’s because their movie is finished filming, and she was probably never dating him in the first place.

He goes to awards shows in hopes of at least catching a glimpse but she’s gone into hiding, there’s rumours she’s back in their hometown, but he’d never visit, not with the disgrace he’s become. He tries to date seriously, tries to talk to other actresses, but it’s all so vacant, disingenuous. All they want him for is his image, there’s nothing real about these women anymore, everything is fake, plastic right down to their boobs. Nothing like Mikasa, who was pure to her core, even in the face of her fame.

If we broke it off then you know it wasn't painless

He'd cried for weeks after she'd ended it, despite it being entirely his fault.

Armin had cancelled all his engagements and Eren hadn't left the apartment, curling himself up on her empty mattress, her room a barren wasteland.

He'd only eaten when Armin forced him too, and only come out of his hibernation after his mother had called to yell, Armin holding the phone right in his ear, the first time he'd spoken to her in forever.

If she got a watch then you know it's not a stainless

He’s got money, but it means nothing. Mikasa has money too, it doesn’t even matter. What has it all been for? He doesn’t even know anymore. All he’s gotten from his acting career is trust issues, more money than he knows what do with and the loss of his best friend and the only girl he’s ever loved.

It’s all a blur now, he acts, he models, he does PR. Armin makes him a schedule and he follows it. They meet with his nutritionist and his personal trainer, and he starts working out again, eating real food, not just smoking, and drinking coffee to supress his appetite.

Armin is the only reason he’s still a functioning human being as Eren hits rock bottom. The only one left to try and push him out.

I was out here fucking fans, I was shameless

He knows he fucked up, it’s why he starts therapy.

The shit he’d done, high off his own fame and arrogance, it’s messed up and he he knows it now. All the girls, all the money and the drugs, ignoring Mikasa’s concerns, dragging her down with him.

He doesn’t blame her now, he knows none of it was fair, she was justified in leaving. They were toxic, their half on, half off relationship, how he'd commit to the drugs but never her.

He can still remember the first time he kissed her, really kissed her, Eren and Mikasa not two characters on screen. It was after their first awards show for their movie, he’d been so excited, so delightfully sober, he couldn’t help himself, she’d been so pretty in her white dress, he’d leaned down before he could stop himself. The first night they’d had sex, her moans, her soft cries of pleasure, nothing had ever measured up since.

It had been bliss, for about a month or so and then they’d really been discovered, and it had all been shot to hell.

All the fans, all the women throwing themselves at him, his eyes couldn’t help but wander despite Mikasa always being the most radiant in the room. He had her love, he’d had everything, but that insidious voice in the back of his head had wondered. Thought the grass was greener on the other side, wanting to explore fame at the same time they’d finally started their relationship.

You was at the crib reading stories that they sent you

They’d kept it casual at Eren’s insistence and Mikasa’s heartbreak, his rock had been willing to allow it for him, for the chance to finally explore their relationship. But he could see how much it hurt her, the tabloids were the worst part, every day a new cover, another apartment he’d leave, another hookup in the parking lot. And he could barely justify it to himself, why he did it, why he continued to do it? He had everything he could ever want in Mikasa, the girl he’d loved since forever, finally in the palm of his hand, willing to give herself wholly to him.

And yet fame had called him more, and the people he was hanging out with only encouraged it, the famous lifestyle, drugs, sex and rock and roll.

Everyone was doing it, so why shouldn’t he?

Most of that was bullshit but some of it I did do

The rumours spiralled out of control after a while, there was nothing he could do, it was over, they had too much on him.

He'd been telling himself lies that maybe she was with Jean on the side, that she had the same opportunities as him, she could go out and sleep around too.

As if Mikasa would ever even consider it.

He’d finally given into being exclusive, seeing the toll it was taking on Mikasa, after Armin smacked him upside the head and told him he was going to lose her if he didn’t get his shit together. Eren had finally realized how irreversibly he was fucking up his relationship, but by then, it had been too late.

When they finally started truly dating, monogamy and all, it had been far, far too late. The backlog of photos the paparazzi had was ridiculous, any opportunity they got to demonize him they took.

He and Mikasa been casual at the time of all the photos, sure, but anyone would buckle under the weight of constant articles about their significant other cheating. Eren became the villain in his own story, and Hollywood loved it, ‘Bad Boy Eren Yeager Ditches Mikasa Ackerman’. He still remembers the headline, it was the straw that broke the camel’s back, she’d come home, dropped the offending magazine on the coffee table and hidden in her room for the rest of the night. He’d slept outside her door, and the next morning he’d been woken by her stepping over him to leave, bags packed.

It was sad, they’d never even officially dated to the public, they hadn’t gotten to that point. She’d wanted to reveal it at some awards show by taking him as her date, thanking him in her speech, her boyfriend, Eren Yeager. Overnight the paparazzi had singlehandedly broken them up for shit he hadn’t even done.

He had no one but himself to blame.

Hard for me to justify the women I was into

Looking back, he can’t say why he did it or what the purpose of all the models that looked eerily like her were for. Maybe he was trying to fill the empty space in his heart, maybe he felt neglected by her friendship with Jean and how obvious the man’s feeling for her were, but for one reason or another, he’d slept his way through about half of the Victoria’s Secret fashion show, and award shows were awkward these days. Meeting the eyes of all the talented women he’d hooked up with in such a professional setting was uncomfortable at best.

How many more did he not even remember, to high off drugs and alcohol and his own ego?

Especially when the whole entire world wished they had you

He’d seen it in how Jean looked at her the first time they’d walked the red carpet as promotion for their movie. The tall man was a b-list actor and he’d been invited to the pre-screening, and he’d watched Mikasa the entire night. His gaze wasn’t moved by Eren’s arm wrapped protectively around her waist or his chin resting on her head, nor the possessive hand on her thigh.

They hadn’t even been fooling around back then, but he couldn’t help himself, he didn’t want Jean’s eyes on her. She was also Mikasa Ackerman, and the whole world thought she was just as beautiful and amazing and perfect as he did.

But she was his. His best friend, love of his life, his everything

If only he’d treated her like it.

Probably made you want to hit the streets on everything

She doesn't take him to the awards show the night he comes begging, but she lets him inside her apartment. Lets him help her with her hair, something he's sorely missed. Something he's familiar with, been braiding her hair since they were kids.

He helps her put it up into a beautiful twist.

And when Jean knocks at her door to take her to the awards show he lets her go, kisses her cheek and tells her how much he loves her, how she's going to win it all and he'll be waiting her when she gets back.

And then she leaves, walks away with another man and Eren thinks he deserves it, it's his penance, how many times has she felt this same way, how many women has he been through?

Probably made you want to pour bleach on everything

He discovers not a single remnant of himself in her apartment, no pictures, no clothes she's borrowed. Even his old sweatshirt, her favourite one is gone. Hell, even their award for best-onscreen-kiss is gone.

He finds it all in a crumpled box under her bed and it's his own fault for snooping, their photo crumpled up and misshapen, riddled with water damage. Probably from her tears if he had to guess.

Probably made you want to kill me on everything

She comes home that night and Eren is surprised, he'd expected her to go to Jean's. Hadn't really believed she was going to come back. Had resigned himself to sleeping on the couch and waiting till tomorrow when she'd come home dishevelled and covered in hickeys and bruises, the kind good sex gives you. The kind he'd never really allowed himself to give her.

That's when she'd really broken and he'd been so fucking happy when she'd thrown her purse at him. No more of her her silent rage, her forced smiles. She'd kicked and screamed, cried in his arms only to hit him brutally with a pillow, chasing him to the end of the couch. Hands restraining his wrists, as she curses him out, tears running down her beautiful cheeks sparkling in the moonlight, she's a vengeful goddess and he deserves every second of her wrath.

She collapses on top of him in a heap of sobs and all he can do is hold her, hating himself just as much as he's sure she does.

Yeah, trust, I know that

He wakes the next morning with her weight in his arms, and he holds her like he never wants to let go.

He's lucky she's even here with him right now, that she didn't kick him out on the spot. That she even cares enough to still fight with him. He kisses her forehead softly, he knows.

Yeah I kinda hate this but whatever have angst 🤷🏻‍♀️

[barnesbabee]

Damn what did Jennie do to be called “that thing”? I don’t follow like kpop tea super closely so maybe I missed something...?

Also fucking Dispatch man, they really do be dropping shit to cover up all the recent bullying accusations

~ Fae💫

I wasnt going to answer any more asks about it, I was just gonna go bye bye and enjoy life as I did before I was a kpop stan (that is unless YG comes out and says it's a lie, which is what we're praying for on this side), but I figured since I'm hating on Jennie so much, I might as well give you an explanation.

And before anyone comments 'WOW YOU'RE SO OBSESSED WITH HER', I used to be a blink. Shocker, I know, but what a lot of you don't know is that I'm a YG stan, meaning I love all groups under YG. Blackpink were ANNOUNCED and I already loved them, that's right, pre-debut. I was a fan up until ddu ddu ddu era, after that it eventually went downhill.

Just a little background was needed.

Disclaimer: I absolutely adore Jisoo and Rosé is indifferent for me. My problem lies with the other two. Jennie especially, Lisa is more of a 'I don't like her attitude' kinda thing, I don't hate her.

Onto my essay we go.

1. The fact that she's a spoiled little bitch who got everything she wanted before, and still gets everything she wants now is appalling. Her family is filthy rich so she probably just woke up one day and said 'gee I want to be an idol, even though I have no skills that stand and I don't even live in Korea this seems pretty cool'.

The point here is that she always gets what she wants.

Don't believe me? Her nickname is YG's princess.

Still think I'm exaggerating? Ok.

Jennie was the ONLY ONE out of the group who got a solo.

Jennie got a solo while they still had promotions going on. Jennie had group AND solo promotions. While that happened, Soohyun from AKMU (AKMU is a group under YG formed by two siblings, a girl and a boy) was left TO STARVE. Her brother went to the army and for 3 fucking years she was left to nothing. Her brother said she even wrote a whole album and YG said no. Instead Jennie got her solo. Soohyun had to wait over a year after that to get a song to come out, which totals to 3 years she waited for a comeback.

And please, someone riddle me this, I beg of you. WHY did Jennie get the solo. She's not exceptional at dancing, she's not exceptional at singing, she's not exceptional at rapping. I don't even know how she got this famous within the group, Rosé's got the vocals, Lisa has the dance skills, Jisoo has the face, what does Jennie have? Why did she get the solo? Why not Rosé? Jennie keeps hogging brand deals and front row seats at fashion shows and instead of giving Jisoo and Rosé a chance Yg said 'here my little baby, take this chance and make a very basic and underwhelming song that everyone will love regardless for some reason'

And the fact that she didn't have any repercussions (believe me, when YG punishes someone, you can tell. Just look at Hanbin, he got kicked out bc one time he thought of buying drugs :D) after breaking one of YG's biggest rule is appalling to me.

For whoever doesn't know, YG hates happiness and love and he doesn't let artists date. Now I don't know what the contract says, but just so you know, Bobby from ikon said in an interview during Killing Me era (2018) that they weren't even allowed to be in the same room as the female trainees. iKon debuted in 2015. And Jennie, in 2019 (3 years after their debut, just like the 3 years that had passed for ikon at the time of bobby saying that) was caught getting into Kai's car and it later came out that they were dating. Bonkers, I know.

But she still got away with it.

2. The 'injury'

Now I started hating Jennie around the lazy Jennie period.

Basically she was performing with the happiness and energy of a fat girl running the mile in P.E class. If she could look any more uninterested she would be a corpse.

Now later it came out that she twisted her ankle and that's why she was performing that way. However, last time I checked ankle injuries don't affect face muscles or arm movements.

GD had a heat stroke mid concert. He performed with T.O.P, right after that he had a heat stroke and in the 4 minutes T.O.P was performing a solo he got better, because after top he had a solo to perform and fans paid for a show, and G-Dragon delivered a show.

The thing that I really don't understand was the way she performed her solo and the group songs was completely different. And that's what triggered me. Like oh during your solo youre busting your ass but in the group songs I guess it's not worth it.

She could have AT LEAST made a less bored face.

So, so many idols perform with injuries. So, so many idols perform while their mental condition is absolutely fucked. Is it messed up? Yes, yes it is.

And do I know how much it hurts to force your body through pain? Absolutely I do. I'm the only libero in my team, my knee is fucked and my back is begging me to stop but I couldn't stop because my team needed me and even if my back pain wakes me up at night I play as if everything was alright because that's what I'm there for.

And that's what she signed up for. What? Once inconveniences hit suddenly being an idol isnt cool anymore?

Try being Rosé, she busts her ass and she changed her voice to what YG wanted and he still ignores her and gives her no brand deals. You can look up how neglected she is.

that's why I dislike her, some people like her you're very much in your right to disagree with me

[taerrorize]

Can you tell me the songs that express Shinee's style through the years ? PS: I'm sure your week will end up well !! All the love xxxxx

Anon u rly have me googling “SHINee discrography in order” on my work computer rn lmao

I’m gonna try to do 1 title track + 1 bside per year and see where that takes me lmao but I’m only going to do Korean releases bc if I added Japanese songs into the mix I’d simply explode it’s too much

2008:

Replay (obviously) is just pure SHINee essence at its finest in my opinion. Sweet and cute and catchy all at once. Timeless.

Love Should Go On it’s kinda funky, lots of minkey rapping which is just *chef’s kiss* but also the added plus of baby Taemin rapping as well, plus jongyu’s beautiful vocals. Idk there’s just something about this song that I’ve always adored. Maybe because it features all five members’ voices in ways that worked for them, which wasn’t super typical in the earlier albums since Taemin’s voice was still developing. Adorable.

2009:

Ring Ding Dong (yes I’m picking it over Juliette it was a rough decision but I did it) it’s just such typical SHINee in the sense that it’s a timeless bop, everyone knows it, everyone remembers it. Everyone knows NEVER to listen to it before an exam (which I learned the hard way in college bc I thought it was fake as fuck but then haha middle of a history final mumbling ringadingdingding elastic fantastic in my gotdamn head it’s a miracle I passed that exam lmao)

Romeo+Juliette it’s not like a super popular song I don’t think? But again, there’s just something about it that’s so purely SHINee. The beat, the way they sing so well together, the way their voices just match & compliment each other’s so well? It’s a little slower paced, but you could definitely still dance along to it. Kinda sensual I guess? A good teeny bopper song by a teeny bopper band of teeny bopper boys. Was my absolute favorite song all through high school lmao the way jonnghyun’s voice is so soft yet powerful at the same time? Spectacular.

2010:

Lucifer I mean it’s just obvious again like Replay, it’s what dragged me into the pits of Kpop hell. Everyone knows Lucifer. It’s quintessential Kpop at this point. Taemin’s dang stripey shirt hypnotized me in that dance practice Istg.

A-Yo is sweet and funny and silly and still so so good all at the same time. Taemin essentially calls you a dumbass in the first like 45 seconds but manages to do it sounding sweet as could be. Really uplifting. Catchy. Easy to sing along to. Listen to it whenever you’re sad and I’m telling you it’s instant happiness. Minho actually gets to sing in it and his voice is just lovely I adore this song with my whole heart. It’s lighthearted and fun. SHINee to me had always just been a group that’s uplifting and comforting, and this song is, in my opinion, the greatest example of that.

2011 (they didn’t have any Korean releases in 2011 so bonus songs from earlier years!)

The SHINee World (Doo-Bop) [2008] I mean I feel like this is self explanatory. Dibidibidiss my name is Minho.

Jo Jo [2009] again, SHINee’s just good at happy fun sweet songs. Jo Jo is always fun to sing along to.

Electric Heart [2010] is a bit darker in the way it feels. Very sensual. Breathy voices and all that. I was super obsessed with this song in high school as well idk. A nice look at SHINee transitioning into a bit more of a mature group, breaking away from the typical teeny bopper boyband vibe. Still funky fresh tho.

2012:

Sherlock aside from being the only title track from 2012 lmao SHINee have often mentioned this was when they felt like they really started acting like a Team and relying on each other more heavily. This was also when the Cold War took place but I personally don’t remember seeing any of it, so to me, Sherlock was just a cool song with a cool dance and Taemin having a terrible weave (and I got in trouble during an after school religion class bc I showed my friend Taemin’s shirtless promo pic and the Youth Leader thought it was porn lmao)

Honesty was a song that really felt personal, idk why. Like the members singing directly to us. Soft and sweet and still so meaningful. Like I’m gonna cry just thinking abt it lmao

2013:

Everybody so 2013 is so hard bc so many good songs came out that year. Like I genuinely am having a hard time deciding, but I think Everybody is a good pick because it shows how SHINee has never been afraid to experiment with their sound. It sounds totally different than anything else they had ever put out, but it still was so SHINee. It’s powerful and it makes you pay attention and like lmao god I’m not quiet abt loving a man in uniform so the wardrobe rly did it for me. But also wow all of their vocals are so good in this song THE LONG HIGH NOTES love it love to see it.

Beautiful just seems like a good pick. Again, 2013 is jam packed with amazing songs, it’s difficult to narrow it down. But beautiful was a song that was always super comforting as well. Their high notes and the way they sing together. Idk. I adore this song.

No Korean releases in 2014 and I’m getting tired lmao so no bonuses

2015:

View of course. Still the best summer bop in existence. We really see the members start to get more involved in this song specifically, from Taemin choosing the choreographer, Jonghyun writing lyrics as always, and Key picking the wardrobe. It’s a fun lighthearted song. I still listen to it when I drive by the beach because that’s just the vibe. Definitely a turning point for them, in my opinion, because this is when I think they really become more mature? Idk how to explain it. They don’t seem like a “boyband” anymore at this point to me, they’re just a band.

An Encore genuinely brings me to tears anytime I listen to it. It’s a SHINee ballad, and a really soul crushing one at that lmao. Idk why it’s soul crushing, necessarily, it just is.

2016:

1 of 1 is funky and fun and goofy and just so so SHINee. It’s not that other groups wouldn’t be able to perform a song like 1 of 1, it’s that SHINee performed it in a way that no other group could do it. They take every song they’re given and make it theirs, really. They own it.

Beautiful Life is another song that just makes you happy. It’s a ballad and it’s sweet and Jinki wrote the lyrics why am I only just finding this out now??! It’s a beautiful life. SHINee will always remind you of why life is worth living, tbh. Minho’s voice is beautiful in this song just a fun fact.

No korean releases in 2017

2018:

Good Evening 2018 is really hard for me to pick tbh. But Good Evening is a song that’s so heartfelt and emotional and soul crushing while still being fun? Maybe I’m projecting my own feelings from the time it was released to the song itself, but whatever. Good Evening is a bop. Love it. Makes me cry literally every gotdamn time I listen to it love that love crying on the freeway blasting this song it’s great.

Undercover was a personal favorite. Tbh a lot of the songs released in 2018 were very hard for me to listen to, and I still haven’t listened to all of them. I just can’t do it yet. But Undercover was fun and funky and idk, that’s just what SHINee is all about.

No releases in 2019 or 2020

2021:

Atlantis listen, this is also a hard decision. Don’t Call Me is quintessential SHINee in the way that it strays from the norm, it’s them trying something entirely new to them, but Atlantis feels like coming home after being away for a long time. It’s not that it’s the same kind of song they usually do, but there’s just something about that’s so familiar and comfortable.

Area is a song I cannot listen to without crying my eyes out. Doesn’t matter how many times I listen to it, doesn’t matter what time of day it is, doesn’t matter what I’m doing. It’s a beautiful song written by Minho and we all know it’s for Jonghyun. And that’s what SHINee is all about, too. It’s about the five of them being together, working together, being a team. The song makes me cry, sure, but it’s a good kind of cry. Also their voices are so beautiful as always.

HONORABLE MENTION

I fucking love Body Rhythm [2021] we all know I love Body Rhythm I feel personally victimized by Minho for promising a Body Rhythm performance and NOT FOLLOWING THROUGH I still nag him abt it on bubble idgaf. Anyways it’s sexy and horny and makes me wanna dance with someone while drinking a vodka cranberry and wearing skimpy clothes and red lipstick WHERES MY BODY RHYTHM PERFORMANCE CHOI MINHO YOU ABSOLUTE T E A S E

[kkodzvken]

luuuune can u give music recs? the songs your fics are named after are all so good

grouping these all together bc most of my inspiration does come from music!! usually, my ideas start w a general vibe or “spark”, and then i flesh it out from there. the spark normally comes from music, but sometimes it’s a book i’m reading, or a conversation i had, or just random things (for example, i saw some flowers earlier this week that gave me an idea for a dabi fic KDHFJSK). i usually pick one song and loop it while i’m writing bc otherwise the variety gets too distracting lol

recs under the cut!! i went pop -> kpop -> punk/emo/alt

to start out w, everyone and their mom recommends chase atlantic lmao but they r just SO GOOD !! and the vibes r so sexy and give me so much angst inspo skfjdkskw

songs: slide, like a rockstar, lust, consume, i never existed. the don’t try this ep is my favorite, and i’m writing a dabihawks punk band au inspired by it!!

i also listen to the weeknd (trilogy), khalid, sza and kehlani (their latest album, it was good until it wasn’t, is a fucking masterpiece) a lot while writing!! 

one of my faves is shinee, specifically jonghyun and taemin’s solo albums (ot5 until i die, but their solo music is sexy and sets the ~mood~ for writing smut lmao). i gave some jjong rec’s in the tags of this post!!

taemin songs: heaven, love and pansy hurt my heart. thirsty, criminal, famous, and sexuality are hoe songs lmao

speaking of shinee, i like other kpop as well!! bts are forever my number #1 (hyyh is one of my favorite albums ever — so bittersweet, makes me painfully nostalgic). also looove monsta x !! tomorrow x together, stray kids and ateez are also great. mamamoo r the only girl group that i like, i just can’t vibe w a lot of gg concepts skfjfjsj (although i do like a few soloists)

a lot of people stan kpop just for the idols but i do like the music a lot!!

txt: ghosting, blue hour, drama (the japanese music video is haikyuu concept lmao), our summer

monsta x: middle of the night, nobody else, gasoline (the title is in hangul so you can’t look it up specifically on streaming services, but it’s the second song on the fatal love album), last carnival, blind, my beast, turbulence (again, hangul title, but it’s track 7 on take.2 we are here)

i also recommend solo albums/mixtapes of the monsta x members!! joohoney’s psyche, i.m’s duality, and wonho’s two eps!!

and speaking of solo work, all of the bts rapline have amazing solo mixtapes. i love their group music that’s hype w heavy concepts/production/choreo (ot7 always), but the mixtapes hold a special place in my heart because they feel so ...intimate, almost? like a piece of their hearts that they’re sharing with the world. rm’s mono is the definition of comfort. j-hope’s hope world is lots of fun, but he just released the extended version of blue side, and it’s absolutely heartbreaking (and reminds me a lot of touya lol). and agust d... listen, i love him more than words can say, so his mixtapes d-2 and self-titled, along w the other song’s he’s solo produced like eight by iu, are very special to me.

i’m not majorly into skz/ateez/mamamoo like i am w the other groups, but they’re all amazing performers so i recommend checking out their comeback + awards show stages!!

i also really love eAeon, he’s a korean indie artist, and his music is breathtaking. he just dropped an album called fragile that’s i adore, the lead single don’t features rm of bts and is unbelievably beautiful.

okay that’s all good and fun but the majority of what i listen to is emo shit lmfaoo i’m definitely more into alt + punk music, here are some of my fave bands and fave songs from them!!

blood command: they are unreal i love them SO MUCH!! they’re a norwegian punk rock band w a female singer, return of the arsonist ep is when i got into them and it’s golden. no thank you i’m more into fake grindcore, saturday city, white skin/tanned teeth, and alarm all assassins are some of their best songs imo

dance gavin dance: listen... their music scratches a certain itch in my brain that makes me go insane akdjfjsk they’ve had a bunch of different lineups but the more recent albums with tillian and jon on vocals are my favorites (jonny craig can suck my dick, fuck that dude). lost, son of robot, bloodsucker, young robot, inspire the liars, jesus h. macy are all great. acceptance speech, man of the year, and evaporate make me cry/lose my mind

mannequin pussy: *chefs kiss* drunk ii is a masterpiece, i cried to that shit every day after a break up, so cathartic. cream and kiss are more upbeat, and their latest song perfect is also vv good!!! patience is a beautiful, emotional album, whereas romantic and self titled have more classic alt bops

G.L.O.S.S.: listen, theyre so fucking cool, and i respect the hell out of them. they only released a few songs before disbanding but i’ll cherish those songs until i die. they perfectly embody what punk should be. demo 2015 is on streaming services, and their second and final ep trans day of revenge can easily be found online!!

wow this is getting fucking LONG so i’ll just quickly list a few more, but this was so fun, i love talking ab music!! pls don’t be shy, i’m always down to give more recs or hear about the stuff that u like!!

movements, yonaka, shiny wet machine, real friends, skating polly, nova twins, the japanese house, bratmobile, yours truly. and, ofc, the pop punk staples: jimmy eat world, paramore, waterparks, stand atlantic, neck deep, the story so far, etc etc !!

[hotfuss]

tde for the album question!

thank you sabs for this excellent question :D

the first song from this album I heard: can’t deny my love do I own the album?: hell yeah! my favorite song: at this point i’m contractually obbligated to say I can change bc you all love to disrespect this song and i love to stir some shit every now and then :) also lonely town my least favorite song: the way it’s always been a song I didn’t like at first, but now do: it took me a couple of listenings to warm up to between me and you a song I used to like, but now don’t: i don’t understand the question this album is flawless my favorite lyric:

Punch the clock, baby on the nightstand / You close your eyes, waiting for the Sandman / Spend your life, bracing for the crash land / You forget, baby it's a dreamland / Take a chance underneath the streetlight / Touch my heart, and everything is alright

Open up to the night / Our bed is underneath the heavy moon / Cast a doubt like a shadow walking / Through the corners of the room When you close your eyes, tell me what you see / Locked up in your room is there any room for me / In the spoils of your mercy, in the reverence of your bed / In the cradle of the morning what was it that you said

Blaze a trail through the driving rain 

I'm hanging on to the end of this rope / Somewhere on the outskirts of hope Do you hear the phone when I call? / Do you feel the thud when I fall? / Do you hear the crack when I break? / Did you lock the door when it shut? / Did you see the knife when it cut? / Do you keep your ear to the ground?

’Til the life that you chose to lead / Had the desired effect / Did you hit the ground running / The day that you left? / Are you playing for every side? / Are you going for every kill? / Well, I don’t believe it / And I never will

overall rating out of 10: 15/10, best pop album since 2015 it’s so tragic no one can win best pop album of the year ever again 😔

send me an album!

[clumsyclifford]

hello bella i would like to ask you about future hearts, not in chronological order, and stories for monday -hazel

WAIT i pressed send too early i also wanted to throw a curveball and ask about the newsies original broadway cast recording :) -hazel

yeesh you picked some good ones hazel. okay. i'm gonna put a cut because four albums is a Lot.

send me albums!

future hearts - all time low

the first song from this album I heard: uhhhhhhh i don't remember, but i......hesitantly......say.......cinderblock garden. but i have no idea why i say that. no i don't really know at all.

do I own the album?: nope

my favorite song: don't you go but also if we're counting b-sides which we should be then how the story ends. and........edge of tonight. and runaways. i know that's a lot of songs i don't care.

my least favorite song: satellite i like it but it's unremarkable compared to the rest of the album and the structure of it is just a little weird to me

a song I didn’t like at first, but now do: there were two future hearts songs that for some inexplicable reason didn't download when i bought the album on itunes back in like 2015 when i used itunes and this album came out so i just didnt know they existed for several months, and those songs were bail me out and edge of tonight. this isnt really relevant since i love both of those songs but i just wanted to share. i guess...i think runaways has grown on me. honestly i think thats a result of including it in baby driver fic, lmao

a song I used to like, but now don’t: well i used to LOVE cinderblock garden and now as you can see i don't list it among my favorites. and the same with dancing with a wolf. and for that matter, also satellite lol

my favorite lyric: another impossible question <3 this doesnt really count but the line in tidal waves "say i'm your filthy little, filthy little-" always makes me smile bc when i was younger and my older sister and i would listen to that song whenever we got to that part we'd both yell WHORE at the top of our lungs. and in fact i still do. real talk though, i think the bridge of missing you might be my favorite lyric in here. "grit your teeth, pull your hair, paint the walls black, and scream 'FUCK the world 'cause it's my life, i'm gonna take it back' and never for a second blame yourself" yeah thats the GOOD shit. WAIT I LIE I HAVE ANOTHER ONE: "beautiful scars on critical veins" (mmm and also "roll like thunder, burn like stars") from kids in the dark. mmmm. and all of edge of tonight. man this album has some gooooooood gaskarth lines.

overall rating out of 10: honestly? 10/10. even with satellite. this is such a good fucking album i constantly underrate it but i love it so much it can do no wrong

not in chronological order - julia michaels (this one is gonna be trickier because i haven't listened to the whole album that many times but i'm gonna put it on while i answer the rest of these so hopefully i can have some real opinions here)

the first song from this album I heard: it would've been lie like this i think, because that song was out before any of the other singles

do I own the album?: nope :)

my favorite song: that's the kind of woman, pessimist, lie like this, all your exes. i really LOVE about half this album and the other half i just don't really know well enough

my least favorite song: orange magic just Does Not do it for me. idk man

a song I didn’t like at first, but now do: well i'm very much still working on familiarizing myself with these songs so i might still be in the phase of "didn't like at first" (betcha anything orange magic will grow on me lmao). there aren't any songs that i've changed my opinion on at least not yet

a song I used to like, but now don’t: see previous answer lol

my favorite lyric: "i love myself, but i'd love her more; that's the kind of woman i'd leave me for" from that's the kind of woman (that shit HITS), also "i'll stop checking horoscopes to cope with all my misery" and "you took a pessimist and turned me into something else" from pessimist because it gives me a lot of hope. and "it was you before i ever decided" from little did i know because :') romance

overall rating out of 10: 8/10 miss michaels KNOWS an album. this would probably be higher if not for orange magic lmao

stories for monday - the summer set

the first song from this album I heard: according to my spotify, all my friends! the first time i listened to this album was on shuffle while writing a prompt fic that was entirely unrelated. i know, it's appalling.

do I own the album?: no <3

my favorite song: MMMNNGNHHGJ i think. i think it's figure me out. and missin' you. yeah. those two

my least favorite song: honest to god i want to say all downhill from here but the little bass riff at the end of that song basically forbids me from saying that. so i'm gonna say change your mind instead. it's the vibiest but thats not why we COME to stories for monday now is it

a song I didn’t like at first, but now do: don't know, maybe all in? i can't remember ever not liking one of these songs tbh. ironically maybe the answer to this is change your mind lol

a song I used to like, but now don’t: well i listened to all my friends about five million times when i wrote that fic based on it so it's in the same situation as i think he knows now. i need a little bit of an all my friends break.

my favorite lyric: bro this is literally an impossible fuckign QUESTION!! the entirety of figure me out. "i'm a bit too punk for the pop kids, but i'm too pop for the punk kids" and "i believe there's more to life than all my problems" both are really close to my heart. the bridge of all in about it being 4am in the parking lot we'll be singing blink songs til the sun comes up, that too. wait wait okay and also: "forever nineteen somehow" from jean jacket and "growing up can make you stupid, why is everyone so scared?" from wasted. okay okay i'm done i'm done

overall rating out of 10: fucking 11/10 bro this is in my top 10 albums ever i'm pretty sure

newsies - original broadway cast recording

the first song from this album I heard: no fuckin idea. it must have been the overture because i never listened to the cast recording before watching the bootleg so!

do I own the album?: i do not

my favorite song: mmm i. LOVE once and for all. but i also love watch what happens reprise. and brooklyn's here. and carrying the banner. ugh fuck i love so many of these songs.

my least favorite song: the bottom line reprise lmfao easy

a song I didn’t like at first, but now do: i don't know, i guess i like the bottom line a LITTLE more than i used to but it's a very low bar. wait actually, the overture. i have a much greater appreciation for an overture than i used to.

a song I used to like, but now don’t: i honestly can't think of one. maybe similar effect to something to believe in? i like it SLIGHTLY less but i still really like it so?

my favorite lyric: EASY answer, this lyric is among my favorites in all of musical theatre, i had it written on my mirror for a long time in high school. this part from seize the day: "behold the brave battalion that stands side by side / too few in number and too proud to hide / then say to the others who did not follow through / 'you're still our brothers, and we will fight for you'"

overall rating out of 10: 9/10. fucking banger of an album. i always say this is the best cast recording for a car ride and i stand by that

[theprologues]

Hi there! Kind of new to this whole thing and I can’t even remember how I got here. How do we know Taylor and Joe aren’t actually together? I understand that her account ‘liking’ his posts within seconds is suspect, but that could just be smart and easy PR? I don’t know! I’m not trying to argue and say they’re real or anything like that, just trying to understand bc that relationship is a huge question mark for me in all of this!

Great question! My answer will be long so bare with me. Basically, the timeline of her ‘dating’ him doesn’t make any sense. Also here’s a great post I just found that is a similar question to what you asked. Link. By @all-my-possessions

At the beginning of the reputation era I was so excited to have new music from Taylor. 1989 era was my favorite and so much happened in the time from 1989 release to the reputation release. I was intrigued to hear about Taylor’s life and basically I missed her. I expected there to be songs about Calvin. When I listened I was so confused. I knew she was publicly “dating” Joe Alwyn but I was like wow I feel like I have no idea who this guy is, I still don’t.

I was already confused listening to reputation it didn’t sound personal to her relationship with Joe. When I heard Call it What You Want I was like not into it either. Gorgeous I’m like huh? Is Taylor admitting to cheating? Very confused!

Some things I think that pushed me over the edge:

1. The writing sessions videos of her writing and recording Gorgeous, delicate and king of my heart. She’s wearing the same outfit (Karlie posted this on her instagram she’s in the video): 

2. The lyrics themselves:

“left a mark on me a golden tattoo” Where was Joe? Not at Drake’s party. Taylor’s golden tattoo was angel wings that evening.

“I once was poison ivy but now i’m your daisy”

“Our secret moments, in a crowded room. They got no idea about me and you” when was Taylor and Joe in a crowded room? Hmm? The Met Gala? So that implies Taylor was cheating on Calvin Harris to be with Joe and then she was like no actually you aren’t the love of my life...I’m going to date Tom Hiddleston for a summer of romance? Really?

“Wear you like a necklace”, “you did a number on me, I did a number on you but honestly baby who’s counting?” That is not straight sex. I mean it can be but that made me go huh? Sexy song.

3. Dark Jeans and your Nikes in the middle of Malibu? I don’t think so. These pap pictures were released the day Delicate music video came out. Paparazzi are not waiting in the hills for a global superstar to go hiking with her ~omg boyfriend~ which made me think why would Taylor call the paparazzi on a relationship that she is ‘a secret she’s hoping, dreaming, dying to keep’? If they were real why would she call the paps? Why would he be hiking in jeans? That is not a British thing, that is not an American thing.

4. Delicate music video with no muse. The ...ready for it? music video she’s clearly showing two halves of her. What the media sees, and what is real. End Game music video she’s in the closet most of the time.

Quite honestly most of the lyrics in her songs point to Karlie to me more so than Joe. We have photographic evidence of her time with Karlie “drinking beer out of plastic cups”, “I want to wear his(her) initial on a chain round my neck”. Why would she put all those references to Karlie if they were just friends? Why would she make a song called “Call it What You Want” that sounds like “Karlie would you want to?” If they weren’t in a real relationship and Taylor didn’t want people to talk about Karlie she would add more vagueness. She is the queen of Easter Eggs and I really started noticing the easter eggs in the reputation era.

Also, writing takes time. Swifities seem to think Taylor ends a stadium tour goes home takes a day off then starts writing and recording the next album. It’s not that simple, it’s much more sporadic. She said she had the dress lyric saved in her notes from a couple of years before. Taylor is ALWAYS writing. She never stops. So what happened to the songs I imagine she wrote in 2014, 2015 (which is basically MIA in her journals she released), 2016? Must mean some of them were on reputation some on Lover... You mean to tell me she started writing reputation in 2017? No, her father even said it was suppose to come out earlier. The official Toe relationship began according to Toes in October 2016 so how did she record KOMH before? You have to write before you record so when would she have written that? She was publicly linked to Tom Hiddleston at that time. KOMH sounds like it’s been a relationship that has been going on for awhile. Not fresh.

I know I talked alot about reputation era in this post. If you believe Taylor and Joe are dating than you believe they started dating before the reputation era i.e most Toes believe Joe is the reputation muse + the Lover muse. Really breaking it down to the muse in reputation you will realize it is not Joe. There are also so many connections Taylor made to the song Lover + You are in Love. She posted this on her Instagram BEFORE YOU ARE IN LOVE came out. The public ‘muse’ of the song YAIL, Jack + Lena didn’t even know it was ‘inspired by’ them which is weird because Jack made the song with Taylor...wouldn’t he know? 

[meet-me-in-the-kitchen]

Which songs do you think are about Taylor ? I think he has written some for her but Two Ghosts and Ever since NY just dint give me that vibe

Two Ghosts doesn’t give you that vibe? Ma’am—

There’s a lot of fan speculation the ESNY could be about his stepfather, Robin, or him returning from NYC after Taylor split

Two Ghosts is definitely haylor. Communication issues. Neither say what the really wanna. Taylor describes herself as an archer: no one really ever knows what she’s thinking, bc she freezes and takes time to process emotions, and by the time she’s done, she shoots an arrow and everyone’s like “woah, I didn’t know you felt that.” It also touches on songs in 1989 about ghosts (“you are in love” “this love” etc.) it’s also a response to “Style”

MMITH and FTDT make sense being haylor songs. 1989’s hidden messages suggest he got back with her, but she wanted sex while he wanted a relationship (“woke up alone in this hotel room..”). There are references to Harry’s striped shirt in the album’s picture book, which is mentioned in one of the songs. He thinks she doesn’t want a relationship because of his commitment issues (“gotta get better”) and because they float in and out of each other’s lives (Taylor describes him as the one person likely to interrupt her wedding), he sings, “maybe we’ll work it out”

Meet Me in the Hallway/FTDT is also followed up on Lover by “Afterglow.” As per usual, she takes a while, but she delivers an apology for “burning them down” and how it was all “in her head” (haylors think she thought he cheated or smth)

Woman could be about Taylor. Maybe not. I’d say it’s applicable. Just search up BBMAs 2015 taylor and calvin were...really petty while one direction got an award. Harry was uncomfortable.

Lots of fans think Kendall Jenner had a huge impact on HS1, but...I don’t really get what she’d inspire. Noah offence. They spent a few days together, horny. Sad boi hours triggered by her disappearance seem unlikely.

During One Direction: Something Great, Happily, Perfect, etc.

Harry wrote “I Love You” for Alex and Sierra under a pseudonym, but it’s a response to IKYWT/their break up. “We lay on the soft warm ground for one week and thirteen days/cause I love you/more than you think I do/and I love you/now you don’t want me to”

There are other songs, butvim afraid to list more lol. I can also do Taylor, if you like :)

[incomprehensiblelentils]

I did not get around to this yesterday but, a short selection of fictional things that meant a lot to me over the last decade! ...it is going under a cut bc it is Too Long sorry lmao.

Books

Little Fires Everywhere by Celeste Ng: this book came out in September 2017 and I have read it four times already. It’s the kind of book I want to write but I’m not sure I’m clever enough to: every event and every character is so purposeful and you won’t catch everything the first time through. Every time I reread it I find something new to marvel at. I hope the Hulu series is half as good

Everything I Never Told You by Celeste Ng: this was the first piece of fiction I ever found with a family with a Chinese father and a white mother. This family is a lot less functional than my family, but I've read this three times because that means the world to me. 

Ash by Malinda Lo: I discovered this in 2011 and it was the first f/f novel I ever read, and as I would later learn, one of a handful with a happy ending at the time, particularly in YA fiction. For a long time, I reread it every time I felt hopeless. I just reread it again last month and it is still as beautiful and meaningful to me as in 2011.

Girls of Paper and Fire by Natasha Ngan: This is an Asian-inspired fantasy (becoming more common now, but still irritatingly rare) written by a queer Asian woman, with f/f. I think it is only the second one of these, after Ash? It is frustratingly rare, anyway. The worldbuilding is incredible also.

The Astonishing Color of After by Emily X.R. Pan: We are getting more stories about biracial Asians, but they are still pretty rare and I treasure every one. This one felt so real to me.

The Miseducation of Cameron Post by Emily M. Danforth: The first half of this book captures so beautifully what it’s like growing up queer in a religious environment when you don’t even have the words or self-awareness to know what you’re feeling. This was another one I read over and over again when I was feeling low.

The Scorpio Races by Maggie Stiefvater: this is just a book for horse girls. I don’t know how else to describe this lol. I also feel like the romance is super downplayed until the very end, and honestly barely feels like a romance to me, so that’s refreshing!

Movies:

Pacific Rim (2013): I remember having this weird feeling when asked to give my top 3 movies once in high school, like maybe my favorite movie hadn’t come out yet so I couldn’t answer properly. I was right; this is the movie I was waiting for. This is my favorite movie. The feelings this movie gives me is the standard I hold all movies to.

Terminator: Dark Fate (2019): but Megan, didn’t this just come out? Yes, and it’s my other favorite movie now. I love (almost) every second of this movie. This movie made me feel a way that I thought maybe I might never feel again, after a certain other franchise movie this year took a dump on my heart. I don’t care that we’re never getting a sequel, we got this and that’s enough for me.

Thor (2011): Those of you who have been around awhile know that I really love this movie. I loved it before we all jumped on the Thor train after Ragnarok and I will continue to love it probably my whole life. It just makes me happy.

Aquaman (2018): This is Thor but underwater and with a biracial hero. It made me cry in the theater and I do not want to hear any negative opinions about it, I find them personally wounding.

Belle (2013): The fact that Gugu Mbatha-Raw isn’t a superstar is tragic, and this movie is gorgeous and lovely and made me feel a lot of things as a biracial person.

Mad Max Fury Road (2015): I remember seeing the trailer for this in the theater and going “yikes that looks like a thing I would never watch.” Joke’s on you, past me!!!! I find this a deeply stressful but glorious film that I can only watch like, once or twice a year.

Scott Pilgrim vs. the World (2010): I do not need or want to hear about how this movie is Problematic, I know all of its issues, and yet. It brings me joy and it was one of the first movies I saw when I was just starting to break out of my religious upbringing and I laugh until I cry every time I watch it.

Star Wars: The Force Awakens (2015): I am starting to realize that I am not and never really was a Star Wars Fan, which is to say that like...I love this movie specifically, I love the characters, I love the interactions, I love the stuff that happens. I do not so much love Star Wars as a whole? I like it fine! But this movie is the only part of the franchise to really make me go “oh, I get it.”

Professor Marston and the Wonder Women (2017): This was a weird little movie that nobody saw and nobody talked about, but I adore it because it’s so gentle and romantic. I don’t know how accurate it is to history and frankly I do not really care.

Big Hero 6 (2014): are you tired of me mentioning I’m biracial yet? This movie has biracial protagonists and a cute squishy robot and no romance and superhero stuff and I love it so much.

F8: The Fate of the Furious (2017): I went to go see this on a whim with my wife and it was one of the most joyous theater experiences of my life. I don’t know, I just love everything about it.

TV shows:

Community: This only kind of counts because it started in 2009 but I started it mid-s2 so eh. Seasons 1-3 of this show are written on my heart, I can quote a ridiculous amount of dialogue from them and these characters will stay with me forever. Warts and all, this is my show.

Dollhouse: Another technicality but like, I met my wife because we both loved Bennett Halverson so I gotta put this on here. It’s pretty significantly affected my life! Also I find that it holds up fairly well, if you’re down for the admittedly iffy premise and an ending that’s a bit of a mess narratively due to sudden cancellation.

Agents of SHIELD: I would never claim that this show is “good” but I do think that it has mostly figured out what the hell it’s doing. And it has been a pretty significant part of my fandom life for the last 6 years, so to leave it off this list would feel wrong. It gave me Daisy Johnson, first canon biracial superhero as played by a biracial actor, and for that i will always be grateful.

Warehouse 13: I could not tell you why I fell so deeply in love with this dumb, badly written show that shit the bed in the final episode more spectacularly than I could have imagined, and yet I did! I think probably it is because I love found family so much, and also I find goofy camp charming more often than not. And of course, there is Bering and Wells, the femslash ship that fandom forgot. I will never be over how no one knows what we have suffered!!!!!

Runaways: wow was this a surprise! The Runaways comic is my favorite comic besides Marjorie Liu’s X-23 run, and this show has basically nothing to do with it, and normally that would piss me off but they got my kids’ personalities down so well and all of the actors are so perfect that I really can’t complain. And also, this show has canon f/f and neither of them die at the end! Which is...better than some other shows I could mention!

Doctor Who series 1 and 5: I had a very intense Doctor Who phase in college, and after all was said and done and I quit the show for a time, I realized that although I love a lot of the characters, and Thirteen’s run is pretty good so far, what I really loved was Nine’s run and Eleven’s first season. That is the show at its best to me. Eccleston is my Doctor and Amy is my favorite companion.

Legends of Tomorrow: Look, I am as shocked as anyone that this, the scrappy underdog of the DCTV lineup, is the one that’s most emotionally competent and has the best character arcs! But here we are. Season 4 was some of my favorite TV I’ve seen, uh, ever.

Albums

Dirty Computer by Janelle Monae: I listened to this for basically a year straight after it came out. It’s just ridiculously good.

Something Fierce by Marian Call: This was my on-repeat album in college. i drew a lot of strength from it, and I think that it’s still the best album to recommend to people who ask me about her.

Standing Stones by Marian Call: I heard most of these songs live at concerts before they were quite done yet, so it was really special to get to hear them all collected together like this. I’m going to get a tattoo with a lyric from one of these songs because no one’s quite been able to put my basic philosophy into words quite like Marian.

Heartthrob by Tegan and Sara: Hot Take, I know, because a lot of people hate this album, but it was so affirming to go out and buy A Lesbian Album from A Lesbian Band in 2013.

The Rent movie soundtrack: I know, I KNOW, but in my defense, my parents got me this for my birthday my first year of college and I needed it so desperately. I can definitely still do “La Vie Boheme” from the beginning and probably most of the other songs too.

In the Heights OBCR: I can only listen to this when I want to cry, but it’s my favorite musical. I got to see the show in 2018 and it was incredible. I think it’s better than Hamilton and I can’t wait for the movie to come out.

Trouble by Natalia Kills: this album is really great and also it says fuck a lot, which I used to be very nervous about hearing or saying, and this helped immensely!

[bwayfanficblog]

Opinions on the BMC OBCR!

(Friendly reminder this is just my opinion! I think this cast recording is over all insanely good, I’m just being a little nit picky because I’ve loved BMC for a while. I had the privilege of seeing BMC in NYC in March, which was amazing and the live performance did influence my opinions a bit. If you have doubts about Will Roland as Jeremy, seeing it live will flip your opinions. Trust me. ❤️)

(edit: my overall opinion of this is that it’s great, but it’s trying WAY too hard. Am I the only one who thinks that the try hard sound completely erases the actual message of BMC? that you don’t have to be someone or soemthing you’re not to impress someone? I feel like the old score was just as amazing and the new actors could’ve done it justice without all of these wild changes. They basically took the creepy retro vibes out of BMC to keep up with modern broadway. I don’t have a problem with it, I just think that it erases the actual message of the show to an extent. I am so in love with Will Roland! He was wonderful live. Feel free to message me and discuss this!)

More Than Survive

- Inclusion of more dialogue is good but I kinda think it breaks up the flow a little

- Will Roland yesss, this song is actually how he sounded live, I wish you could see how incredible he looked and acted during this song

- Inclusion of the “Boyf” dialogue is cute and definitely should’ve been added to begin with

- The new harmonies on “Christineeee” where Jeremy goes up a step is so nice

- Michael’s new part is just as adorable as before, kinda sad they took out the “so own it!” line tho

- Buttt more sweet giggles from Michael makes up for it!

- I don’t like how they cut off the last Canigula so quickly to make room for the chorus singing though idk

- The louder beat slaps tho

- I don’t like how Chloe’s last “I like gay people” is isolated unlike the original cast recording

- Will gives a heartbreaking “I’m never gonna be the cool guy” performance though like damn I almost cried

- The “na na na” is now “na ahh ahh ahh” if that makes sense and it doesn’t give as much impact which makes me wanna die bc that part was so pretty

- Will’s riffs at the end make up for it

I love play rehearsal

- There’s more instruments at the start and I think a flute which is so pretty!!

- Stephanie yessss with those improved vocals

- I think the extra instruments overpower her soft sweet sound at some points in the song tho

- YESS the dialogue that’s now included yesss

- The extra instruments at the end actually add more tho I love it

- A little more dramatic

More than survive (reprise)

- ICONIC

- IM SO HAPPY THEY INCLUDED THIS

- nothing bad to say other than I’m not a fan of the weird pop-y instrumental at the end, when I saw it I think it was a little more spread out instead of included in the song but I could be wrong

The Squip Song

- Gerard’s vocals have gotten even better like yes

- The instrumental sounds about the same as the old recording which makes me glad they didn’t change it too much

- Jeremy sounds scared when he says “you got quick” and I don’t know why ? That’s kinda odd like buddy are you good

- Is rich ok like at all in this song

- The song isn’t as like soft if that makes sense

Two Player Game

- Michael sounds like wants to die when he says “apocalypse of the damned” at the start shaksksks

- BUT THIS SONG IS SO GOOD it’s another one they didn’t change very much

- The instrumental is a little more pop-y but otherwise it’s still got that retro vibe

- George was keeping it real and not changing his vocals in the song for us thank u

- Will Roland come thru with those harmonies once again

- Jeremy’s verse is really soft and sweet and I love it he just sounds done

- The extra lil video game sounds are spot on

- The “You know that you are my favorite person” lines are done so perfect but I’m sad Michael’s little giggle isn’t as prominent

The Squip Enters

- Jake’s “that freak is freaking out” isn’t that funny in this recording sjsksksksk I’m sad

- The Squip’s surfer voice was less prominent live and more realistic and I’m not sure I like it that much in the recording

Be More Chill PT 1

- The Squip has a solo part at the start!! It’s adorable

- Jason Tam yessss

- The Squip calling Jeremy Bae and Boo makes me wanna die tho

- The first part isn’t sung anymore which makes me wanna die too bc he has such a nice voice

- The Squip’s vocals in the chorus tho yes ma’am

- Instead of Jeremy saying “Jesus” he just has a lil panic attack that poor boy

- The Squip kinda sounds British in some parts of it

- You can hear George doing a funny voice for his mall character which makes me laff

- “Jerry?” —“jerry-ME” I love Will

- Chloe is a lot more pissed in this song

Do you wanna ride

- The instruments overpower Brooke in some parts

- They didn’t change the vocal lines too much but they did slow the song a bit ?

- The harmonies are really nice though come through Brooke and Chloe

- The end is also sped up a little

- Brooke’s giggle and the little French at the end was so cute

Be More Chill PT II

- “Everything about me makes me wanna die” LINE WAS SO SAD

- the instrumental build up was so incredible !!

- This is probably my favorite song for the Squip he just brings it vocally

- JEREMY’S LITTLE GIGGLE AFTER “be mORe CHILL” I CRIED

Sync Up

- This replaces the original More than survive reprise

- I don’t like how it takes Michael’s little part out of it because I think it was necessary plus the instrumental part of that slapped

- Also I think it gives us a good insight into the characters but it could’ve been placed somewhere else maybe?

- I also think the beat isn’t very uniform and is kinda messy and the dialogue is more interesting than the actual song

- It shows how nice Jeremy is tho

- I liked this song live better because the actual song just isn’t interesting enough to be a song on its own

- Jeremy and Brooke’s interactions in the song is really nice

- I love the distorted little “na na na” from more than survive though you can tell it’s slightly off

- I don’t like “head to play rehearsal” instead of “drama practice” though I don’t think it flows well

- I’m sad they changed one of my favorite songs !!

A Guy That I’d Kinda Be Into

- Once again stronger instrumental, especially guitar

- The vocal track doesn’t seem to be changed very much again thank u god

- Weird clappy sounds ??

- The harmony on “absolutely” YES

- Christine’s little breathy laugh after “I guess there’s a part of me that wants to” yes sir

Upgrade

- Brooke speaking French at the start SNSKSKSKSOSK

- I think the dialogue gives more insight into Brooke and Jeremy’s relationship

- “Jere-Bear” NAJAKAKA

- THEY TOOK THE LITTLE “damn” OUT NO

- Jake and Christine’s part is cute but it felt a little out of place for some reason and I don’t know why, like the little sad dialogue they have about Jake’s parents feels weird but it’s really

- “I’m tired of being the person everyone thinks that I am” feels like it should’ve been a part of sync up instead of upgrade

- Brooke saying she was happy Jeremy looking at her instead of Chloe first made me wanna bawl

- Also it makes me wanna punch Jeremy

- Poor Jenna got like 1 like in this song

- I feel like it wasn’t smooth transition into Loser Geek Whatever at the end I don’t like the whole weird chorus thing leading into it at all

- Feels out of place without Michael’s little part at the end, I’m sad they’re cutting significant Michael parts, I know they kept it in LGW but it felt more in place in upgrade

Loser Geek Whatever

- It’s great and Will re recorded it for the album because it seems to have more emotion and be more genuine

- He sounds super excited at the start and it makes happy

- One of the few songs that managed to keep BMC’s kinda creepy computer tech vibe which is weird because it wasn’t even in the original album I wonder if it was written newly or was a draft from the first run back in 2013-2015

- A little more upbeat but in a good way

- Will’s vocals sound a lot better than the first recording

- Extra beeping at “my one real friend” was nice

Halloween

- Brooke does a little bark at the start awe

- The beat doesn’t go as hard as the OG cast recording which sucks bc it went hard

- Everyone kinda sounds like they wanna die at the start again which seems like common theme??

- The chorus doesn’t slap either what

- The song also got cut a little short I think unless I’m crazy but I feel like it was longer than this?

- Extra verse at the end and I don’t really like it

- Kinda boring now and doesn’t give you a panic attack vibe like the OG one did

Do You Wanna Hang

- Only song where they changed a lot that made it better

- Included the dialogue at the start which makes the song make more sense

- The Squip’s Voice is so smooth ssnskskskw

- Chloe’s losing her mind a little but I love it

Michael in the Bathroom

- Jesus George’s vocals OWN MY WHOLE ASS

- He’s only gotten better somehow

- No to the new pop-y sounds in it it takes sad creepy feel out of it

- Too much instrumental added bc it doesn’t sound like ballad anymore

- I dunno how I feel about it because George’s vocals are perfect but the instrumental is doing him dirty and not making it sad enough

- This song gives me anxiety now wjsjsksks and I don’t know if that’s good or bad?

- The few lines and instrumental lines are the same as the OG which is good

A Guy That I’d Kinda Be Into (reprise)

- SO HAPPY THEY INCLUDED THIS TOO

- Whoever’s playing that flute was told to play that shit LOUD

- Jeremy’s “Christineee” omg he’s so in love

The Smartphone Hour

- The new instrumental sounds at the start sound bonk

- The phone sound effects make me wanna die dndkjssk

- Tiffany Mann’s voice COME THROUGH

- The “whoaaaa” was changed which makes me sad

- I’m glad they specified it was Jake’s house because when I listened to the OG one at first I was like did he just burn down a random house ??

- The dialogue between Chloe and Brooke is kinda dramatic now but it’s not a bad thing

- KATHYLN CARLSON’S VOICE IN HER SOLO CHORUS YES SIS

- the whistle noise has gotta go that’s what my track coaches whistle sounded like when I wasn’t running fast enough

- I’m scared now the dance break sounds like salsa music

- “Matches, ashes” was changed to “drama, drama” girl what

- Brooke’s screams yes

- The random auto tune voices in the back are trying to capture the creepy vibe that this song originally has but isn’t doing it

- This song isn’t changed much though and still has the OG vibes which is good

The Pants Song

- The weird piano at the start scares me

- The lyrics have changed a bit too

- I’m not too familiar with this song because I don’t listen to it so often but it doesn’t sound too different from the OG cast recording which is good instrumental wise

- The chorus sounds different though I don’t know how I feel about it

- The “Michael in the bathroom” melody playing in the back during the dialogue YES

- Omg the dialogue where Jeremy’s dad tells him to say it like he’s in the army omg I’m weak

- YES THE HARMONY RIGHT AFTER RHAY DIALOGUE

The Pitiful Children

- My fav song

- Not this version I don’t think but

- I don’t mind the lyric changes but I think it takes the dark creepy techno vibe out of the song

- If it was anyone other than Jason Tam singing this version I wouldn’t like it

- The chorus lost its punch with this new pop sound

- I’m really confused as to why the lyrics had to change tho these make less on an impact, I think a solo song with Jeremy and the Squip about Christine would’ve cooler

- The Squip and Jeremy’s harmonies tho like fuck me up

- The techno voice singing “lets save the pitiful children” is eh like it makes it cheesy

- I’m scared of the Squip singing “Squip Squip Squip”

- “Everything about us” run is still amazing as always

- I just realized the Squip is using Christine to manipulate Jeremy into squipping everyone that makes sense that’s why the lyrics are changing

The Play

- The dialogue at the start is different but it makes sense, it’s Jeremy realizing the Squip made him Squip the whole cast

- The instrumental sound is the same thankfully

- “Michael makes an entrance” sounds like Michael wants to die is he good

- It adds Michael and Jeremy’s fighting dialogue in it which I like and adds the two player game melody in the back

- Jake’s “living the upgrade” line was cut short :((( I love his voice

- They changed the “having sex” convo between Brooke and Chloe which doesn’t make it relevant to that scene anymore ?? But they also validate each other so idc

- The “I love play rehearsal” melody playing when Christine talks yes ma’am

- “I’m stronger than you think I am” I LOVE JEREMY

- The LGW melody playing when Jeremy is telling the Squip to fuck off

- Jeremy and Michael saying “oh god” back and fourth to each other in different tones of voice is an accurate representation of having a best friend conversation

Voices in my head

- The start sounds like pac-man and I’m so here for it

- RICH HAS HIS LISP YES QUEEN also his harmonies !!

- This instrumental is kept pretty much the same too which I’m happy about

- “Don’t dump her on Halloween” BYE I love u Brooke

- “We are your squad” AWE

- It’s so pure

- The second verse has some lyric changes but I like them more

- LGW melody is playing when he and Christine talk which is so soft bc he’s like owning being a loser?

- The “bowling alley performance art” line wouldn’t make sense if you haven’t watched the show but it’s cute

- The loud flute is present again shsksksksks

- Awe the ending harmonies are soft

- The Squip was tripping balls in the end of that wtf

- The “na na na” runs at the end don’t sound like the more than survive ones sjsksksk

- “You ready?” I LOVE

- Jeremy is such a dork and I love that so much in this song

[kvndeathmusic]

my favorite records of the 2010s pt 1 (the less great stuff/honorable mentions)

Neither this post or its followup are going to be in any particular order, however all the records I talk about here are, in my opinion, not as good as the records i will talk about in my part 2. they’re all fantastic but these ones slightly a little less fantastic than the ones in my “top 10″. none of this is based on stuff like 'influence' or whatever other critics base their lists on, this is solely how much I enjoyed these records. And keep in mind, I'm only human, I havent listened to a good lot of records I've heard others describe as top 10 worthy, these are just records I found and that I resonate with. long post ahead. 

Vacation - Bomb the Music Industry (2011)

If you asked me what my favorite band is i will either say bomb the music industry or jeff rosenstock, but considering those are pretty much the same things it doesnt matter lol. While Vacation isnt a perfect record, it is one I love. It lacks some of the ska elements that I love about earlier BTMI records, but at the same time, it is the first record where Jeff’s “””solo””” career sound starts to form in tracks like Sick, Later, Hurricane Waves, Everybody That You Love, Everybody That Loves You, and Vocal Coach. And these tracks are all fantastic, especially the absolutely explosive opener Campaign For a Better Weekend. Where this album suffers in my mind is the fact that it exists as a weird hybrid middle ground between BTMI and modern Jeff Rosenstock, it isn’t really ska like old BTMI and it’s not quite to the same standard as the tracks on We Cool?. And some of the songs are just, not as good as the others, like Why, Oh Why, Oh Why (Oh Oh Oh Oh), which is washed out almost entirely in reverb, and tracks like Savers feeling barren and missing additional instrumentation. But fuck man I can not dislike this record or just call it “ok” because despite this I still listen to this record a lot, it’s so catchy and fun and Im a bit too chronically addicted to btmi. 

Reflektor - Arcade Fire (2013)

i dont really get the hate/mixed feelings others have with this record. there’s so many good tracks dude!!!! sure theres a bit of a slump in the middle and it doesnt reach the same emotional heights as their previous records you gotta be ignorant to overlook this records strengths. while i do like The Suburbs more than Reflektor, man i just vibe HARD with some of these tracks; the title track, We Exist, Here Comes The Night Time, Normal Person, Awful Sound (Oh Eurydice), Porno, and ESPECIALLY Afterlife. Plus the cover art is cool and I like it. However Flashbulb Eyes is one of the worst tracks Arcade Fire has ever put out and I hate it immensely. And while far less offensive, tracks like You Already Know, It’s Never Over (Hey Orpheus), and Joan of Arc are just kinda boring and/or uninteresting. Now granted, I'm extremely biased when it comes to Arcade fire in general unless were talking about the trainwreck that is Everything Now. I started listening to Arcade Fire just before Reflektor came out, and I have a kinda sentimental attachment to the record. ill explain the feeling more when i talk about The Suburbs. anticipation oooooo.

good kid m.A.A.d city - Kendrick Lamar (2012)

i might get crucified by some for not putting this in my top 10, but whatever come at me i guess. gkmc is a fantastic record, but i do think the ending is weak, which is why it’s here instead of in the top 10. i mean, let’s be real, Real is a mediocre track, and while Dying of Thirst is an important track to the whole narrative of the record, it feels way too long. almost everything else about this record is fantastic, from the beats, to kendrick’s nasally flows, to the overall structure of the record spinning a tale of a young man battling demons both inside and out, and his eventual redemption. even if i find this record at times to drop pace, it really is flawless otherwise. it felt like a disservice to put this in the 20-10s, bc it’s a good record, but i had to make some compromises and this was one of them. 

RTJ2 - Run The Jewels (2014)

el-p and killer mike are a perfect duo, and the tracks they make together are always total bangers. and for me, RTJ2 is the best overall, with RTJ3 in a close second. it’s hard to put this on the lower half of the list, some of the tracks just don’t work as well as the others, but despite that there’s not really any tracks i hate or dislike on this record, minus maybe crown. the pure aggression in the opening track Jeopardy sets the tone for an aggressive yet highly focused record. This is some of the best rap out there right now if you want some music to fuck shit up to. 

Pure Comedy - Father John Misty (2017)

This record is both hilarious and extremely bleak. Josh Tillman is a master of satire and sarcasm, and Pure Comedy is the peak of his songwriting skills. The title track is one of the best tracks of the decade, period. And he keeps up the momentum on the following few tracks. The main problem with this record is its weaker second half, but even then it’s criminal to suggest that those songs aren’t good regardless. And despite the bleakness, the one line that sticks in my head after all this time is the line this album fades out to: There’s nothing to fear.

Knife Man - AJJ (2011)

Continuing on the trend of folky, satirical, and bleak records, Knife Man is AJJ’s defining record (next to their debut LP). AJJ blends loud, punky anthems with quieter, folk tracks that touch on sensitive issues in a way only AJJ manages to get away with. And there’s some genuine heart mixed in as well, with the final track Big Bird always striking a chord with me. However, I do feel the record is, let’s just say, padded at times in my opinion. Still, I can’t deny how much i enjoy tracks like Gift of the Magi 2, Hate Rain on Me, The Distance, and Skate Park. Speaking of which when I saw AJJ live recently they played none of those songs and that kinda sucked but hey it was like $20 I can’t complain. And speaking of not getting what I wanted...

You Won’t Get What You Want - Daughters (2018)

It was hard choosing between this record and their 2010 self titled record, but in terms of the overall narrative and variety this record shines through. If there was a number 11 spot in this unorganized list this would probably take that spot. It’s noisey, it’s abrasive, and it’s like nothing you’ve heard before unless you’ve listened to Daughter’s previous records. Tracks like The Reason They Hate Me are catchy in the weirdest and most unwelcoming of ways, Less Sex sounds like a long lost Trent Reznor NIN track, and Guest House is a masochistic and gut wrenching finisher. Fantastic record aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.

We Cool? - Jeff Rosenstock (2015)

It’s obvious that I had to include this record somewhere on these list. It’s like a more refined version of the sounds that Jeff experimented with on Vacation. Definitely more punk than ska, but still some of those roots still shine through, especially in the track Nausea. Some of Jeff’s best songs are on this record, from the loud opening tracks Get Old Forever and You, In Weird Cities, to tracks dripping with bittersweet and moody lyrics like I’m Serious, I’m Sorry and Polar Bear or Africa. The main reason this record is on the back end of the top 20 is because the deeper cuts on the record do not match the energy and heights of the best tracks. Tracks like All Blissed Out, The Lows, Darkness Records and Beers Again Alone don’t feel like they belong and stick out a bit. They remind me more of the material Jeff put out on his 2012 EP I Look Like Shit. Mind you they aren’t bad tracks, but I’ll be honest I skip them often when listening to the record because i just wanna get back to the good good stuff. 

Sports - Modern Baseball (2012)

Sports is one of the best pop punk records ever, if you can even consider it as such. It’s like a blend of emo and folk punk, and it works so well. A good majority of this record is on my main shuffle playlist. Is it pushing boundaries? Not really, but tracks like Re-Do, Tears Over Beers, and See Ya, Sucker are undeniably catchy and memorable. I NEED MODERN BASEBALL BACK TOGETHER RN. There’s not really anything that wrong with the record, besides maybe lacking in variety, but at 30 minutes, it’s a record that feels nostalgic even on a first listen, and continues to feel that way even after numerous re-listens. Speaking of nostalgia...

The Suburbs - Arcade Fire (2010)

Some background, when I was 13 (circa 2013), I only really listened to whatever my parents put on for me. From my mom, I “inherited” a taste for classic pop and 80s new wave. From my dad, I got metal and hard rock. The first time I made the conscious decision to listen to a record fully, based on my own curiousity, was when I sat and listened to Sgt. Pepper in the summer of 2013, which broadened the scope of what I thought music could even be. And later that year, the first band I got into after The Beatles? Arcade Fire. When I think of my early teens, the memories are set to this record. I remember listening to Ready to Start in my brother’s old hot ass car while driving to the local fair with some friends on a chill fall night, eating tons of junk and staying up past midnight back when doing that was edgy and cool and not a symptom of my depression. 

If I was judging this record solely by its best tracks, it would easily be in the top 3. But I couldn’t place it in my top 10 because, frankly, some of the deeper cuts are lacking. I can’t say I like Deep Blue. I really don’t like Rococo. And Half Light I kills the pace of the record. But man, that title track, Ready to Start, Modern Man, Empty Room, Half Light II, Sprawl II... these songs defined my early teen years. I still tear up listening to the title track. Sure I have to skip a few songs when I re-listen, but I can’t place it any lower or my heart will break. It existing outside of the top 10 already hurts. And that’s all that’s left now. The top 10. 

But first, some random honorable mentions that didn’t make this list:

Sound & Color - Alabama Shakes

Black Star - David Bowie

Saturation II - BROCKHAMPTON

Melophobia - Cage the Elephant

Teens of Style - Car Seat Headrest

How to Leave Town - Car Seat Headrest

Daughters - Daughters

Sunbather - Deafheaven

Bottomless Pit - Death Grips

Year of the Snitch - Death Grips (should be on this list tbh)

Doris - Earl Sweatshirt

I Love You, Honeybear - Father John Misty

Helplessness Blues - Fleet Foxes

Plastic Beach - Gorillaz

Boarding House Reach - Jack White

POST- - Jeff Rosenstock

S/T - Joyce Manor

Firepower - Judas Priest

ye - Kanye West

KIDS SEE GHOSTS - KSG

You Were There - Kill Lincoln

Flying Microtonal Banana - King Gizzard

Infest The Rats’ Nest - King Gizzard

No New World - Mass of the Fermenting Dregs

Bury Me At Makeout Creek - Mitski

Puberty 2 - Mitski

Unsilent Death - Nails

Itekoma Hits - Otoboke Beaver

Morbid Stuff - PUP

A Moon Shaped Pool - Radiohead

RTJ3 - Run the Jewels

Angles - The Strokes

To Be Kind - Swans

Undertale OST - Toby Fox

Scum Fuck Flower Boy - Tyler, The Creator 

Igor - Tyler, The Creator

Weezer (White Album) - Weezer

nightlife - yuragi

[hqnaeil]

˗ˏˋ  ( jung jaewon. twenty-five. cis male. he/him. ) im “naeil” yunjae is a ‘94 liner + has been at so!ar entertainment for five years. they have been a soloist since july, 2015. they are known by their fans to be genuine, inspiring + magnetic but they can also be blunt, closed off + distrusting. i hope that they can make it in this industry. [ penned by bee, 20, est, she/her ] @hqidolextra

cancer / illness / surgery / scars tw ( but clearly marked where it happens. please take care of yourself ! )

paint me a picture of a nineteen year old ( though when it is revealed that he’s already nineteen the audience audibly gasps ) on a brightly-lit stage large enough to swallow him whole. his clothes hang off his slight frame, which — in combination with his shaggy, long hair — makes him seem younger than he actually is. now edit in a segment with his parents, flushed with pride with tears of happiness banked in their eyes. hear the introductory notes on the piano, and now listen to him sing …

cancer / illness tw for this bullet yunjae didn’t win the fourth iteration of kpop star, but that was okay since he had already won the hearts of the south korean public. and they all knew his story. a boy who had always dreamed of being a singer but had spent most of his life in hospital beds, his illness baffling south korean doctors to the point that his family had to leave behind everything they owned or knew so that yunjae could meet the best doctors in america. when he was finally cured, he decided to follow his dreams as a music artist instead of following his peers’ footsteps into higher education. and that was that. it was a kpop industry ceo’s pr wet dream to sign him. it would have been a mistake not to at least try.

of all the contracts he was offered, yunjae chose so!ar’s. in return, so!ar chose yunjae’s stage name, naeil (meaning “tomorrow” in korean, strong brand image is everything), gave him a year of vocal training and fine tuned his song-writing and production skills. they held his hand through handcrafting his own debut single. “don’t forget” performed beautifully on the charts and in sales. and so they let him run loose after that. his first few releases were pretty tame, but have become more and more eclectic and experimental.

cancer / illness tw for this bullet he’s been cancer-free since he was 16, but still needs to take medication daily for his migraines and has a weakened immune system. and after eight years in remission and five years after his appearance on kpop star, he was finally begin to shed his title of pretty-good-male-r&b-artist-who-once-had-cancer, and just became pretty-good-male-r&b-artist. but writing song after song was beginning to take a toll on him, and in late 2018, what he thought was the common cold developed into severe pneumonia, and he was bed-ridden again. after being kept watch in a glass cage for a year, so!ar agreed to give him a comeback before the end of the year.

other hc’s

is fluent in english and his korean has a bit of an accent to it from his time spent in america (he went by eugene). he avidly follows the american music industry, and it tends to influence his own music. has a pretty substantial international following, and wants to eventually write an album just for that market.

yunjae is pretty blunt. like other idols, he was forced to grow up quickly, but for him it was because of how he was around adults for a lot of his formative years, and now as an adult it puts him in a weird place bc it used to be that he used to be unable to relate with kids but now the kids are adults and ?? it comes off as mysterious and charismatic, and variety show hosts adore him for the sound bites they’re able to pull from him. the media chalks it up to his artistic charm and his time in america, but that’s not really all it.

he also has,, a really dry sense of humor. he’s found that a lot of people walk on eggshells around him, so he tries to break the ice before it happens. his humor is also a lil morbid.

doesn’t drink at all. sober legend. it’s for health reasons.

comes alive when he performs/talks about music. he loves his craft, dude. also crush vc. so boy has pipes.

also,, can’t relate to the whole idol experience/struggle. he’s used to being able to pretty much produce and sing whatever he likes, and so!ar doesn’t force him to learn tricky choreographies due to his health. until now, his experience at so!ar has been pretty positive.

surgery / scar tw for this bullet his hair has been,, tamed (though screenshots still exist from his days on kpop star he had a mullet but not the sexy kind) but he still keeps it long in the back because of a surgery scar at the base of his skull he hasn’t seen it in years, and doesn’t really want to.

surgery / scar / cancer / illness tw for this bullet  speaking of scars, he has many criss-crossing his torso since, before doctors realized it was a brain tumor, they had believed it was a gastric issue. he doesn’t ever show his bare chest, though his fans don’t know why.

didn’t come out as pan,, but vagued about it on multiple occasions. bc #yolo, but he’s still not eager to bite the hand of the company that feeds him.

[flvshlights]

courtney eaton. 24. genderfluid. they & them. the front bottoms. | i can’t believe i just saw LUCINDA “LUKE” ARCHULETTA walking out of cadence records. they’re the GUITAR & LEAD VOCAL from the INDIE ROCK group WE TRIED USING A BAND NAME GENERATOR who have been in the industry for SIX YEARS. the tabloids love to focus on their ALOOF nature , but they’re also pretty HONEST and they seem to give off a vibe that reminds people of TYING FLANNELS AROUND YOUR WAIST, NEVER BEING WARM ENOUGH, PLAYING AN ACOUSTIC GUITAR IN A SHARP TUXEDO, CLAIMING YOU DON’T SMOKE MARIJUANA WHEN YOU DO, THE COMFORT AT THE BOTTOM OF A SWIMMING POOL. 

                                     she started talking backwards , but nothing                                      good it brings her. so the next time that she                                      sees him, it’ll be peace sign + middle finger.                                      to listen as you read.

listen i always say i’ll stick with one muse and that never happens so i’ll just skip the part here where i berate myself for being weAK and instead introduce u to lukey-pookie here !! they’re a very new muse ( while also combining some essences of other muses of mine ) since normally i pick from a premade roster of my own ocs and normally use courtney for a... very different character but 1.) i’m gay and 2.) i love the front bottoms so HERE WE GO !

tws : depression, divorce, arrest, drug usage / overdose

HISTORY

So Luke was born to a regular working class family in Wilmington, Delaware - they have some relation with the famous DuPont family that built their name there, but don’t have anything to show for it since a few generations ago Luke’s great grandmother cut off the rest of her family and now they don’t speak. So Archuletta it is.

Their mom worked a typical 9-5 job and their dad was an aspiring painter - but he was always... sick. Not sick in the physical sense, no - sick in the fact he never was himself. Sick in way that Luke always thought he was so tired and sad and nothing could ever cheer him up, and they rarely spent much time with him due to his tendencies to keep to himself. So that led to an early divorce between him and Luke’s mother when they were about six years old.

So Luke’s life was relatively normal. Maybe even too normal for them. And they’d try and put themselves out there - even joining musical theatre in attempts to try and find “their group.” Musical theatre was where they’d meet Krista.

A beautiful girl who had a passion for Broadway, booze, and marijuana - she’d become Luke’s greatest friend, and even taking Luke to meet their friends she hung out with regularly after class. But they weren’t the kids you’d want to bring home to hang out with in your parents’ house. No, in fact - they were the opposite.

Bad things, those friends did - well - bad ( or rather, illegal ) things, and Luke followed along. Such as smoking pot and getting caught for it, spraypainting and defiling public areas, maybe getting into a fight or two. In an effort to fit in, Luke would do the same - but they faced the consequences they’d never thought - considering those kids seemed invincible. Untouchable. 

Setting off fireworks from the roof of an abandoned building it a bad idea. Getting arrested the cops is an even worse idea. Your friends running off before they can get caught, leaving you alone to wait for your mom to pick you up... The worst idea.

Nobody came to check on them after that.

Not even Krista.

But the next day, Luke hung out with them like nothing was wrong, following that crowd still - and it’d only reach a breaking point when they were sixteen and had to call the ambulance since Luke found Krista in the bathroom of a party unconscious due to overdose. And thank god she survived - 

And there they were again, without many friends since Krista was seemingly the only person who even came close to genuinely liking them and everyone else, they barely knew anything about. And Luke would grow, finishing high school and clinging to the only other friend they had since childhood - being convinced to write out their issues since by NOW, Luke maybe turned out a bit more cynical than they used to be.

Writings of prose and poetry turned to translating that to music - and that would be the beginning of their new life: We Tried Using A Band Name Generator.

ABOUT ‘WE TRIED’: 

‘We Tried Using A Band Name Generator’ - or more conveniently just referred to as ‘We Tried’ is probably Luke’s pride and joy. It was their friend’s idea for them to originally write out how they felt - and they mutually came up with the decision to try and write songs out of that.

A small band from Wilmington didn’t seem like it was going to get notice, and it took a little while, sure - it started with an EP titled Slow Dance to Soft Rock ( 2013 ) that made Cadence turn their way. Since the indie community definitely liked the acoustic sounds paired with raw, blunt, honest emotions pushed out in songs like The Beers and Swimming Pool. And that was when they got signed.

The first album they’d release would be six months later - self-tilted, We Tried Using A Band Name Generator. They didn’t have too much of a following at the time, but they were making good momentum enough to convince them to keep going.

Things were going so well, in fact, that during touring, Luke & their best friend / drummer actually attempted dating since - there had to be a reason they worked so well together. There had to be SOME feelings. But a million arguments later and stressful tours, overall mentally testing experiences, pushing out an EP called Rose which was as amazing as it was tacing to complete... they couldn’t do it. It was thought that when their best friend left the group in early 2016, it was thought that everyone’s new favorite indie rock group was done for.

And... Luke couldn’t let that happen. It was selfish, too, in the sense that We Tried was their biggest method of release and comfort. So instead of just giving up, they got off from tour and IMMEDIATELY hit the studio for recording and song-writing.

The product of a few months of straight work would result in their 2016 album , Talon of the Hawk - all songs pulling experiences from the split between them and their drummer to their experiences with Krista in high school. 

Au Revoir/Adios was 100% written the day after their ex-drummer left. 

Another year of touring and thankfully, four more members joined the group - producing the EP Needy When I’m Needy as a sneak peak of what was new to come. A few months later , a surprise album called Back on Top would come out. 

The next three years would work well - with the band releasing another EP titled Ann and the inklings sprinkled of the next album - Going Grey.  

SO IN CASE THAT WAS TOO COMPLEX BC I RAMBLE... again, general timeline:

February 2013: Release of Slow Dance to Soft Rock

March 2013: We Tried is signed to Cadence

August 2014: Release of Self-Titled.

September 2014: Both members of We Tried start dating.

July 2015: Release of Rose.

December 2015: Nearing the end of touring, We Tried’s drummer quits and the pair breaks up. Touring officially ends later that month.

January 2016: Luke Archuletta announces they’ll be taking time to focus on a brand new album.

August 2016: Release of the rushed but extremely well-received Talon of the Hawk.

July 2017: We Tried introduces four new members.

October 2017: Release of Needy When I’m Needy.

March 2018: Release of the surprise album Back on Top.

January 2019: Release of the EP Ann, paired with the announcement production of the next album will begin soon.

March: Two songs - Peace Sign & You Used to Say (Holy Fuck) are released to tease Going Grey.

July 2018: Release of Going Grey. 

SO YOU CAN SORT OF TELL THE TIMELINE IS SPEEDY - because that’s a big part of how Luke sort of... overworks themselves and hyperfocuses on their music. Especially since ever since their first drummer left, they haven’t let go of the idea they can only rely on themselves. 

BUT MORE ABOUT THE BAND - We Tried’s aesthetic is sort of The Front Bottoms mixed with the Young Veins - Luke’s especially fond of showing up in suits, vests, etc. despite the normally blunt & uncouth content of the songs. 

There is literally always something being made. Luke can’t sleep without having something in the works. 

And... yeah that’s it honestly it’s rly just TFB but with a TWIST! 

ABOUT LUKE 

5′10, genderfluid bisexual bby who honestly just wants a nap

SOOOO yes, Luke’s a very chill individual but chill in the sense that... they just. Don’t care. Except when it comes to their work - then they work the hardest they can on that shit and have to pay attention to every little detail.

They’re still not actually sure if they have any talent - musical theater never seemed to work out, so why is a band doing that??

But they do have one thing down pat - directing. All of We Tried’s videos have so far been directed by Luke, save for a few. 

This comes from Luke’s longtime adoration of film and cinema, from the perspective of an observer and a director.

They DO have a tendency to be a little... clingy and aloof at the same time. They’re always worried about being in the position of trying to keep a band of only one person alive again but also they don’t really notice they can other people to do things for them now.

They’re independent to a fault, in that case.

And also now finally getting a hang of not falling into peer pressure since it’s just made them cynical and aloof from people now.

They’re v grateful for their bandmates tho!! Don’t get me wrong, they love them!

Luke’s more of someone who communicates their appreciation through gestures and actions than words - setting a blanket on you while you sleep, getting new drumsticks if you broke yours, making coffee in the morning when you’ve forgotten. That kind of stuff.

They don’t get a lot of sleep for the sole reason they sort of have tendencies to keep themselves awake just... thinking. Luke thinks a lot. Luke’s actually wack-levels of intelligent, and it does show in their music save for when they’re making odd comments and obscure references.

Luke talks about tattoos a lot, but they’re actually barren since they’re afraid of needles. 

They also don’t drink, but they do smoke marijuana. But they’ll never admit to it - ...like TFB even though they have a MILLION songs that mention recreational use of the drug.

They sort of don’t really know where their purpose is, still - and that does lead them into a depression of their own, much like their father. They don’t talk to him and their mother that much nowadays - considering, the dream was always that Luke be a lawyer or a doctor and not the crass musician that they are.

They’re lowkey a fucking comedian but in the dry, deadpan humor sense. Most of their interviews consist of them making some joke that either takes a little while for the interviewer to get or one that makes the room silent for a quick minute. Or, even worse, they’re taken seriously.

Despite this aloofness, though, they actually thrive on being around other people. They’re sort of relearning how to accept that, though, since again, they’ve been shelling themselves up in their own work for quite some time. 

Also lowkey a bit of a flirt bt u didn’t hear that from me

Rides a motorcycle partially to look cool and also... bc they have the song ‘Motorcycle’ which was about them. Trying to learn how to ride a motorcycle so it just kind of stuck.

They’ve got another talent in dancing, since they took ballet classes throughout middle school to high school - but had to quit after they got arrested. Shame.

Their one dream was to be Ariel in the Broadway production of The Little Mermaid when they were younger since... they also love the sea and Disney Princesses so much secretly, but they’ve sort of given up on that.

Their love for the sea’s also because of where they’re from - Delaware beaches are beautiful and were Luke’s happy place back then. 

Most of their loves and interests are sprinkled in their songs, in that case - Delaware scenery, references of Disney films, etc.

They’re a very... complex individual. But god I lOVE them.

WCs

THE DRUMMER. PLS GIVE ME THE DRUMMER. I HAV IT ON THE MAIN... PLS GIVE ME THE OG DRUMMER THAT LEFT AND NOW HAS A SOLO CAREER OR IS IN ANOTHER BAND ELSEWHERE. PLS.

also the current bandmates. that would b. cool.

if ppl from luke’s old squad can show up now w/ their own careers... that would b. cool.

kids who they went to high school with that r surprised where they are now.

enemies in the music scene who don’t like luke or we tried for a multitude of reasons

maybe they think luke’s secretly a conceited dick underneath the ‘distant mysterious songwriter’ schtick

mayBBEEEE they think the nature of we tried’s songs are some sort of keep gimmick to try and cash in on being ‘casual’ and ‘relatable’

maybe they just don’t like the damn band i mean. yeah.

any reason. pls.

hook-ups bc i’ll b honest they are... a bit of a flirt. let luke serenade u w/ shit like “historic cemetery” cowards,

a rebound sort of?? probably very short-lived, but i can see luke wanting to get their mind off from their ex/drummer leaving and falling fast into another relationship - and that wouldn’t work out bc of it.

i’d also lov a plot where maybe sb discovers luke’s talent for dancing bc they do it for recreational purposes semi-often now?? 

maybe they can attend a class together or smth

or they just do it for fun at luke’s place

idk this cld go anywhere n it’s honestly adorable

ppl that they befriend who they can just. take back to delaware one day.

or even ppl they just hang out with to relive the ‘good ol days’

trips to the beach

buying store bought fireworks n setting them off

going on camping trips n shit

i’d lov a plot where there’s one person who just thinks luke is like... a MYSTERY and they just get closer and closer in attempts to try and figure that mystery out

also 100% open to brainstorming! i’ll actually get 2 interacting tmr bc it’s 2:30 AM nearly here n i want to sleep so yeah! chances are tho if u like this i’ll message u for plotting!! again if u want my discord - hmu @ rocky lynch lovebot / hylia.#0329. :^)

i love the front bottoms so much

[fmdduri]

a headcanon about duri & canon group tracks he’s written.

word count: 1,491. about: how duri feels about the tracks he’s written and other information on them that i’ve been thinking about. essentially following his career as a successful songwriter who’s shown the different songs he’s been able to write, with each song being fully written by him.  notes: i honestly kept thinking about this and decided 2 simply talk about it. i thought it would be a good time ! i wrote a lot of this with the way that sm entertainment tends to do lyrics, with the whole pool of lyrics being thrown in, as that seemed to make the most sense to me. other times, duri simply just submitted lyrics to bc and hoped for the best. also duri writing playboy is literally just me being a shawol and i want to admit that out front. 

2012 - the chaser by titan: the first song that is apart of duri’s resume as a songwriter. duri had requested to be able to write a song for titan and bc entertainment suggested duri to add a song to the pool of lyrics for the title track. nervously, duri had agreed and thought really hard about what to portray. he wrote this song while on the rooftop of the dorms one night, deciding to write about essentially a cat and mouse game of trying to win someone back. he wasn’t entirely sure where that came from, but he was thinking upon movies he’s watched and books that he read. reluctantly, duri submitted the lyrics to bc entertainment and to his surprise, his lyrics were the ones that ended up getting picked. he was shocked that he was chosen for the title track of all things, but he took it with pride. this was the song that ultimately ended up gaining titan a lot more attention. to say the least, duri probably cried the most during the chaser’s music show wins due to it’s success and the fact that it really sealed titan as icons in the industry so early on. this is one that he’s very proud of. 

2013 - gee by lily: following the success of the chaser, bc entertainment approached duri the following year to submit lyrics into the pool for lily’s first comeback as a group. due to his friendship with the members of the group, duri agreed once more to write the song. truth be told, he was nervous about writing for another group, especially because bc entertainment had only accepted one song that he wrote, this being the chaser. nonetheless, he still wrote the song after bc entertainment gave him a general idea. duri had written this song about a crush, following his celebrity crush on a popular actor. it was rather cute, something like a little school boy crush that he knew wasn’t serious, but made it serious for the sake of the song. duri, once again, submitted the song into the pool of songs, without thinking much of it. however, bc entertainment would end up telling him that his lyrics were once again picked by staff. the pressure was on, especially because it was for a completely different group. he thought that it was simply just going to be like the chaser, however, the story ended up being different with gee because gee... well, gee really extended duri’s expectations and has become the most popular song that he’s written to this date. duri 100% sobbed when gee was successful because it really showed him what he’s capable of doing, and it was his song that he wrote that got so incredibly popular, soaring to the top of the charts and breaking records. to this day, duri still gets emotional over the success of gee and when people mention that a song he wrote is so popular. plus, the fact that he wrote “listen boy... my first love story. my angel and my girls... my sunshine... uh uh let’s go” is iconic. 

2014 - light by titan: this was the year that duri started having a bit of a crush on maverick. it wasn’t anything crazy and was only small, most of the time it wasn’t really even there. but, it was there sometimes. at the time of writing this song, the crush was there. so, duri had sat down one day and wrote out his feelings onto paper, and taking about how maverick’s smile would make him melt in that sort of way and everything of a cute little crush. duri had submitted the song to bc entertainment, with bc entertainment eventually taking the song to make it a b-side on the album “season 2.” this song ended up being a duri solo song on the album, which seemingly is a bit funny. he did, later on, reveal to maverick that the song was about them when duri had a tiny crush on them for just a little bit. the song ended up doing a bit well, gaining 57 as it’s peak position on the charts. not to mention, hanbyul’s background vocals in the song brings the song to the next level.

2015 - playboy by titan: playboy has probably been the most interesting that duri has written thus far in canon discography. it’s a rather sexy song, that’s simply putting it lightly. however, duri wanted to take a different take on all the other songs that he had written over the years, and this really just showed that. duri listened to a lot of other songs that seemingly follow the vibes of playboy, as well as going through books and movie source material to really try to figure out how to make this song sexy. so, he would end up really just figuring it out and based it off of a lot of the sexy music videos from american artists in the nineties and early two-thousands. thus, due to all of that, duri ended up being able to write a song that just has such a sexy factor to it. he submitted it to bc entertainment, again thinking nothing of it, but bc entertainment ended up accepting it as a b-side for exodus. to date, it’s his most popular b-side written for titan, as it peaked at number 9 on the charts. 

2016 - she’s dreaming by titan: this is the song that had really ended up bringing duri into the zone that he had always been meant for - ballad. it was only time that duri finally ended up writing a ballad, which only makes sense considering he’s now a big balladeer within his own solo career. bc entertainment ultimately needed another b-side for the album, so they approached duri to write the song, especially considering the success of playboy a year prior. duri would end up getting to work rather quickly, as he would end up writing this song one night when he couldn’t sleep (a usual for him.) he sort of wrote the song about himself a bit, in the point of view of someone else and using the pronoun of “she” and portraying himself as cinderella in a way. since, after all, duri is a dreamer. this is duri’s second-best charting b-side he wrote for titan, as it’s peak  position on the charts was number 11. 

2017 - ko ko bop by titan: duri would get the chance to write a title track again come 2017, when bc entertainment approaches him again to write a track. they suggest he write a summer title track and place it in the pool of lyrics. with yet another opportunity to write, duri agrees to do it, and went on his quest for inspiration. he knew he wanted it to be fun, as the summer is just fun under the sun in a way. the first thing he comes across is the 1959 hit,  “shimmy shimmy ko-ko-bop” by little anthony and the imperials. so, he took the ko ko bop part of the song and made it his own. it’s a summer of fun and love, as well as fun dancing. of course, he’s had to explain it a few times, but he’s okay with that. in the end, bc entertainment ended up picking his lyrics once again. this has ended up being his highest charting title track for a titan song that he’s written, as it’s peak position ended up being number 1, and duri was just really proud of himself for accomplishing that with a written song. 

2017 - lights out by titan: this ended up being the second ballad b-side that duri ended up writing for titan. on one of the days that he was having a rather hard time, he ended up writing lights out. this was another thing that he wrote in a point of view that wasn’t technically himself, but made it out to be himself - with a lot of words that he wanted to be told, but words that he wasn’t able to tell him himself. this was also kind of wishing he would just be able to sleep at night, to not be so fearful of his dreams being haunted pretty consistently. in general, it’s a comforting song for himself, and he really has a strong attachment to lights out in general. he would end up submitting these lyrics to bc entertainment, whom would end up using the song for a b-side - which duri was perfectly fine because it would be out there. this was a bit hard for him to record because it did make him rather emotional, but he managed to get through it and kind of played it up as him finding emotions for the song. he’s probably gave some made up reason for the song itself, but he’s really kept the real meaning of the song to himself.