#talking to people is hard and scary

[goldensunset]

i looooove pokémon npcs whose team members subtly imply something about them that's never touched upon in the story or at least never outright said. i love villains having friendship evos. i love trainers who commit hard to one aesthetic or vibe with their team (beyond simply sharing a type) and i love it even better when there's one random exception especially if that's their ace. i love when later down the line someone boxes the cute fun soft baby pokémon they used to have in favor of a seemingly stronger or scarier one to show that they're getting serious. i love when they have a pokémon that's difficult to get and raises lots of questions about them. i love it when the lore behind a pokémon fits the character to a T and i love it even better when it appears to contradict them. give me the story-gameplay harmony but better yet give me what appears to be story-gameplay dissonance but might actually have implications if we're willing to dive deep into it

[uncanny-tranny]

Being in pain and anguish can make you a deeply unpleasant person when it starts to grate on you to the core of your soul how unwell you are, and it really can make interacting with others so much harder.

It is hard to be around other people when you're in pain, and the sounds around you quite literally hurt, and you feel the crushing weight of reality settling deep on your chest and throat, and it feels like the world is against you. It's hard to be "pleasant" when everything feels stacked against you.

I hope to be with all of you in a metaphorical way. It's hard to be disabled and to act "normal." It's important to recognize that we can become so entrenched in the horrors of disability and pain that we lash out because when we recognize the cause, we can start finding ways to notice what might help.

Disability can feel like you're turned into a shell of who you thought you "should" be. Give yourself the space to grieve if you need to. I know it's hard. Take it a day at a time.

[mercutiotakethewheel]

Kendra, inwardly: Omg I am so scared right now. I’m going to die here. This freakyass magical creatures about to do me in. And could do so easily, which I am imagining very vividly right now. Those are huge teeth. I am fighting god to hold it together right now. I don’t want to die. Why am I here? Just to suffer, every night I close my eyes and—

Kendra, outwardly: I cast vicious mockery.

[itspileofgoodthings]

The past couple weeks it’s been really hitting me how much harder it’s been teaching Pride and Prejudice this year—which was so disappointing at first? Because works I’ve traditionally had a harder time with I’ve felt like i’ve broken new ground while teaching and am teaching the kids BETTER. So initially I was so frustrated that my historically easiest work to teach was feeling so difficult! But there’s been some good days that have let me see that part of what was happening was that I have simply never reached this number of kids with pride and prejudice before and so consequently I have never had so many kinds of reactions before! In the waking up from the sleep of simply never paying attention there IS going to be plenty of stupidity, contrariness, crankiness, and almost arguing? Like even with themsELVES. And that’s a good thing.

[front-facing-pokemon]

[rosicheeks]

🙃

[bandtrees]

iv been doing a lot of ddadds reminiscing lately. that game is very very close to my heart and has been for years - it's kind of surreal to return to the fancontent i made for it having grown a bit, and seeing precisely why i latched onto mary as a character as much as i did. (hmm, the guy who'd just gotten out of a bad relationship and was also an unknowing aroace latched onto the character with relationship troubles and conflicts about presenting as someone in love, who would've thought?) (also she's autistic) (i'll still fight people on this)

mary still continues to be one of my favorite characters of all time - and i still have dream daddy to thank for a lot. it's just such a genuinely warm and sweet and funny game. it's got such a kind and lackadaisical approach to adulthood that spoke to and continues to speak to me a lot as someone kind of terrified of growing up, in a lot of ways. and despite being such a silly game, joseph's ideals of the "margarita zone" spoke to me way more than i care to admit.

i wonder if the people i'd shared ddadds servers with and the like, way back in 2019, are doing well. i wonder if the old friend i did that batshit insane mary-damien cult ending rp with that read like a damn slasher film remembers it at all. i hope the people i talked about my ocs with are doing well. i hope the mary rper i lurked on the blog of is doing well. i hope the person who made the official character spotify playlist knows how much they shaped my music taste and how much i listen to them to this day. i hope the developers of this game know it's more than a silly gimmick dating sim that was popular for a year to people. (i hope they know how much damn gender euphoria it gives me lol)

i'm a huge sap with my fandoms in general. but dream daddy's such a spot of comfort for me even now. i still think about it, and maybe one day i'll properly revisit it. and i know i'm going to be so insufferable about it when i do. my own special little margarita zone.

[perilegs]

being homesick and changing as a person so much the place you grew up in isn't your home anymore is such a core part of ati and upon further inspection i think i was projecting a little

[americiumam]

everyone clap and cheer and tell me i’m so brave for responding to messages

[uncanny-tranny]

The whole "humans are inherently awful and bad!" spiel is so tiring to me as a survivor of abuse because it comes off as abuse apologia. If humans are inherently awful, then why should it matter if you're abused - that's what humans do best! Like, genuinely, I think this mindset can harm abuse victims/survivors because they're being inundated with this idea that, well, how bad can their abuser be? All humans are horrific, why complain, why escape, and why try to resist it?

I really wish people would critically analyze where these ideas come from and where these lines of thinking can lead. Maybe it's a matter that I'm looking too deep into, but this very bleak ideology is not going to help in the long run, I think, and some of the first people who are going to be crushed by it are the people who are vulnerable or who are put in vulnerable positions in society.

[cowboy-robooty]

my beautiful... meeeuu-tuals (weak rhyme.. bruh) know that i may not show it 100 but i am desperately trying to be your friend at all times. im sorry i suck so bad at initiating anything or keeping a convo or interacting i live in a cardboard box like squidward

[prettyflyshyguy]

Been looking into this new tunglr feature Communities and it looks interesting! Thinking about maybe making some when it rolls out for a few niche interests since I think a big benefit of this format could be for people to share art/writing that maybe they're more self conscious about but in a slightly more closed space that's still facilitated via tumblr (rather than completely closed off places like Discord)

I love discord do not get me wrong, but Discord is fully closed off. You need someone to give you a multipass to get in. I miss the older days of Tegaki E or late 2000s DeviantART Groups where it felt like a bubble within the website that you could access, not private, not even semi private but more like just a room you could walk into and hang for a bit rather than a secret underground bunker you need a friend to show you the hidden access hatch to.

There's benefit to Discord but there's also benefit to like, Rooms I guess! Like somewhere you can browse, lurk a bit till you warm up then dive into a niche community when you're ready. Somewhere you can come out of your shell in a space where you know everyone there is also having fun with the same stuff. I like tumblr for its comfortability of various fandom content but you're still throwing out stuff into a HUGE main tag sea and it's hard to reach out and connect with people.

[ratthumbsup]

in many ways starting a new job is the it's so over/we're so back meme.

[problematic-alters-unsilenced]

We have 2 alters in our system who have recently been really upset with the... restrictive nature of the online community.

Our one alter who I'll call D, has psuedomemories that heavily involve incest (completely consensual, and even not acted upon until legal age for all) and he greatly wishes he could talk about the relationships he had, because they mean so much to him, but if he even were to say one thing that implied it, we would be shunned.

Our other Alter, B, has obsessive/"yandere" etc thoughts and feelings, and wishes he could talk paragraphs about his passion (torture, murder, etc) but obviously he can't.

We've tried all we can to make safe spaces where they CAN talk and muse about their respective problematic topics, but it's just so hard.

Sorry for the long Vent

- 👑💫

Its perfectly alright! We understand completely! I really think the internet needs to learn "live and let live"

sure, we may not support some things, but as long as they are not harming anybody and are done in a respectful and nice way then we dont care. Not our life, not our business.

I hope y'all are able to make that safe space eventually! <3 hell we may (if we get popular enough.. which seems to be happening already) open like a discord server for people to feel safe in.

[buildingunderstanding]

Me, reading before bed: I don't think I know how to recognize what it feels like "put my heart into" things because I struggle to recognize most positive emotions since I dissociate so much by default and kind of just passively exist in life. Passivity is my default state and it blocks me from experiencing and feeling things.

Loki, fully aware of the dissociative disorder and trauma this all stems from because we've had this conversation before: Yup. Let's maybe hold onto the realization this time, shall we?

[tvrningout]

popping in to say that y’all really do make me so happy!! as people and as writers, i’m so grateful to know y’all. i know i’m really scarce rn, and that might not change for a little while, but pls don’t forget that you make me smile!! on a day like today, when things are hard bc that’s just life, you make me smile. you with your creativity and lovable characters and unique writing styles — you make the days a little brighter, and i thank you from the bottom of my heart 💜