#taskmaster mythos

[taskhusbands]

Taskmaster S18E04 Outtake

[freshlyslicedmilk]

Thanks @yeah-w-r-i-t-e for the tag :D

Last Song: Flip by Glass Animals. But the song that's playing in my head all the time right now is Show Pony also by Glass Animals.

Favourite Colour: Hrm I'm gonna say purple, but specifically Gale Dekarios purple, and also hunter green specifically.

Last Book: I wanna say it was the Cthulhu Mythos but actually it was Ghost Rider/Wolverine Weapons of Vengeace complete series.

Last Movie: Funnily enough it was Mission: Impossible Ghost Protocol because my friends and I have movie night every week and it was my turn to choose (I'm making them watch the whole series).

Last TV show: Taskmaster UK series 18. I've almost finished it but youtube region locks the whole thing.

Sweet/Spicy/Savoury: Sweet! I am an absolute sugar fiend.

Relationship Status: Taken ;) my partner is so amazing and cool, literally the coolest person ever.

Last Thing I Looked Up: "all candlehop locations veilguard" because those buggers are getting on my nerves.

Current Obsession: Benthan. Always Benthan. But Dragon Age and Nicholas Angel (just him, not the film he's in) are a close second right now.

Looking Forward to: The Glass Animals concert I'm going to this week! Also to finishing Veilguard for the second time and then starting a new run playing as a brand new OC!

Tagging @frick-yes-dragons and @franxisliterallyonfire :) have fun guys and no pressure.

Tag Games: People I’d like to get to know better

Thank you for the tag @ziggy-scardust!!

Last song: Intentionally? Firewall by TWRP. The song currently stuck in my head, however, is I Wanna Dance With Somebody by Whitney Houston

Favorite color: Big fan of pastel blues

Last book: The Saint Novelization. I'm trying very hard to Emma's voice correct, but I keep giving her autism.

Last movie: Hatari (1962), I never John Wayne would star in a RomCom but its fantastic!

Last TV show: West Wing, I love the witty dialog and themes of found family

Sweet/spicy/savory: Definitely sweet. I have a terrible sweet tooth.

Relationship status: Single

Last thing I looked up: How to make circular filet Crochet?(still no clue) How does research work in the military?(Its... Its the DoD, how did i forget about the DoD) Free Clinical psychology textbooks.( surprisingly easy to find) william atherton age.(38 in Real Genius) How long do elephants nurse?(6 months)

Current obsession: I have four rn; Real Genius(Thank you Ruzty), Mission Impossible(Blaming Mads for that), The Saint(Mostly from GreenGlass), and, oddly, the Jack Ryan book series(I only have myself to blame for that one)

Looking forward to: I have a Saint Podfic just about finished, Emma vs The Shopping Mall is in final touches and will hopefully be up by then end of the month, and I am HYPED about my fluffy Real Genius fic Threshold Criteria for Somnolent Cephalopods

Tagging @ruztyryan, @airlocksandaviaries, @greenglassmountain, @mthevlamister, @snonkerdoodlefizzy221b, @pollyna, @spiciestmarinara, and who ever else wants in! I am shite with names so sorry for forgetting people!

okay, bye

[hellodarjeeling]

Taskmaster Mythos

aka why yes, I’ve watched this show more than once

Alex stays busy by doing Greg’s laundry, watering his plants, and cleaning his legs

Every Christmas Greg and Alex play “Conceal the Pineapple”

Greg occasionally lets Alex wash his clothes in the washing machine

Alex loves his wife and Greg equally

Greg told Alex to shave off his beard and then to grow it back because he didn’t like it

Sitting next to Greg makes Alex feel safe

Greg would be Alex’s cutest thing

Greg took Alex camping and kept getting him to feel what was in his sleeping bag

When they’re at home Alex is only allowed to move around like a snake

Greg makes Alex clean himself like a massive cat

Greg had Alex on a No Solids or Liquids diet for four months

Every morning for an hour and against his will, Greg lets Alex take the dry skin off his feet and gives him a cuddle

Alex’s father was a muffin man

Alex brushes his teeth with Primula Cheese

Alex has a chest tattoo that reads: “When a bird is in a tree and the tree is chopped down, the woodsman has moved the bird”

Alex isn’t allowed a catch phrase

Alex misses his children

Greg loves to see Alex physically punished

Alex’s children call him “Little Alex Horne” and call Greg “daddy”

Alex kisses Greg’s portrait every day while wearing his little trilby

It’s feasible that watching Greg sleep would make Alex sexually aroused

Alex got a sudoku grid tattooed on his tummy, as Greg asked

Alex genuinely wishes he was Greg’s son

Alex sometimes wishes he could distill Greg and pop him in a little bottle around his neck

Alex is always mentally preparing Greg’s next meal

According to Alex, his most exciting thing beginning with “G” is Greg’s special spot

Alex usually wears pink underwear

It takes Alex 12 minutes and 51 seconds to prepare Greg’s bed in the evening

It takes 9 minutes and 34 seconds for Alex to wake Greg with his little kisses

Greg makes Alex tie himself up before going to bed and unties him in the morning

Greg has shown Alex all of his see-through clothes

Alex has exactly 30% fewer bones than the average person

Alex comes to work with his sandwiches cut into fingers because he thinks they “taste better”

It takes Alex 19 minutes and 32 seconds to fully clean Greg

Greg’s bedtime routine involves three aubergines

Naked, Alex looks like a weird ill monkey

Seeing Alex genuinely distressed gives Greg a weird happy feeling in his tummy

Greg gave Alex a phone a couple of months back and all he did was download 600 pictures of muscular women

Alex once told Greg that at some point nearly every day he cries

Fishnet stockings make Alex sexually aroused

Alex agrees that Greg is a handsome man

Much like a Roman emperor, Greg has bathed in asses’ milk and had vigorous sexual liaisons with his personal assistant

Alex collects teapots that look like cottages

Alex likes gentle films, gentle music, and to be held by big strong arms

Statistics are Alex’s foreplay and spreadsheets his post-coital cigarette

[agentnico]

Army of Thieves (2021) Review

I’m reviewing a Netflix film... it feels like lockdown all over again!

Plot: A prequel, set before the events of Army of the Dead, which focuses on German safecracker Ludwig Dieter leading a group of aspiring thieves on a top secret heist during the early stages of the zombie apocalypse.

Zack Snyder has set home base at Netflix following his not so successful run at DC. And as such he’s building his Army of the Dead franchise featuring a zombie apocalypse that begins in Las Vegas. The first Army of the Dead movie came out earlier this year, and honestly I wasn't a big fan. It was at the end of the day a generic zombie flick that featured dumb characters making dumb decisions, and overall the entire thing came off dumb. Army of the Dumb it should’ve been called, though that wouldn’t be fair to the zombies as they were the more intelligent species in that movie! Anyway, we now have a prequel that’s not really a prequel in the shape of Army of Thieves. It’s a prequel in that it is set before the original film and has a couple of references to Army of the Dead through news footage shown on TV, but otherwise there’s no zombies to be seen in this one and you can seamlessly enjoy this movie at its own merit, which is a good thing as Army of the Dead sucks and you shouldn’t put yourself through that movie.

One of the only characters from Army of the Dead with some kind of personality and expression was Ludwig Dieter, a German safecracker who’s basically the best of the best in his line of work. Army of Thieves is all about him and his safecracking ways, and yes, his stylish vintage retro polo shirts make a return and gosh do I want to own all of them!! The movie itself is also directed by the actor who plays Dieter (Matthias Schweighofer), though his directing style is very much inspired by Zack Snyder with the crisp camera shots and dark high contrast tones, though there is also an element of Matthew Vaughn’s comic book action style too which I enjoyed seeing. That being said, the movie’s narrative is as simple and cliched as you can get. Its a bunch of criminals going out and doing one heist after the other, each member of the team has their set of skills and naturally backstabbing does occur and the members of the law go after them. But the good thing is that the movie is very self aware of its cliched nature, so it exists solely to entertain its audience. This movie isn’t going to be one I’ll remember but I can tell you that I did enjoy watching it throughout. So basically its exactly what a Netflix movie should be. There’s some decent action, a good amount of comedy and a bunch of actors who seem to actually enjoy being there. I did also enjoy the fictional mythos behind the safecracking, and how the movie leans a lot into Norse mythology and the legends created by Richard Wagner’s famous operas about the Valkyries and the Nibelungs. 

There’s not much else I can say about Army of Thieves other than it’s entertaining. As I said, it’s heavily cliched so don’t expect too many surprises, but the cast performances are all solid, including a powerful turn from Nathalie Emmanuel who’s role here feels like an audition for the Fast & Furious franchise, for better or worse. Also nice seeing British comedian Guz Khan in a big movie like this, he definitely doesn’t belong here yet it was as always entertaining seeing him crack a joke or two. Anyway, he’ll be back on the UK Taskmaster this week anyway so he’ll be back at home in no time. All in all though, unlike Army of the Dead, Army of Thieves at least tried to have fun and not take itself too seriously and as such I had a good time.

Overall score: 6/10

[whispered-into-the-void]

Wrath is the obvious one to start with; he’s anti-cop. His backstory is that a corrupt or mistaken cop killed his parents, so he wants to kill all cops. That’s simple, keep that as-is. He’s Batman if, instead of fighting Crime, he fought Cops.

Prometheus has essentially the same backstory as Wrath, as far as we know. His parents were killed by cops, BUT it was, seemingly, at their insistence. Rather than “just” having Batman-like gear and skills, he has a combat computer capable of downloading information (like skills) directly to his brain, making him more similar to Midnighter or Marvel’s Taskmaster than Batman. His first appearance was targetting the Justice League as a whole, so I think that should probably be the direction you keep him; he’s Anti-Justice, and that Justice is seemingly embodied by the Metahumans around him that uphold the current system. He’s targetting Bruce for his role in a system and the Justice he represents.

Killer Moth was a struggle; it’s difficult to present him as a legitimate threat, as shown by the fact that every version of him on the DC Wiki starts with some version of “often considered something of a joke.” he’s alternately made himself a form of Gun For Hire and paid Anti-Batman, trying to help criminals where Bruce would try to catch them. I don’t think there’s an easy way to remodel him to make him actually fit that, but I’d be tempted to try and make him more of a “Guy In A Chair.” Have him reckon with the fact that he keeps getting his ass kicked, so he’s decided to take a more Backseat approach. Maybe Drury Walker himself stops wearing the suit, but offers to effectively “rent” it to goons, while providing remote support by hacking street lights and endangering civilians. I’d probably opt to give him some kind of equivalent to Batman’s code, as a requirement for the groups he works with; no killing, or you’re on your own. I’d be tempted to give him a small swarm of Moth Drones as well, specifically to return his gear to him when/if the goons break his rules. I’d be tempted to lean a little bit more into a “backstory” for him; give him history with the Bat prior to being Killer Moth. He was a repeat crook, but he never got anyone hurt, so he kept getting light sentences or sentences overturned because of how involved the Bat was in his arrests. He starts thinking, “The only reason I got arrested is because Batman was involved… If he’s there to make sure we get arrested… it’s only fair that somebody levels the playing field.”

In my mind, there are a couple of different approaches you can take with the implementation of this sort of thing. You could keep them separate – keep Prometheus committing guerilla attacks on vigilantes, pit Wraith as a recurrent villain to someone like Red Hood or Jace Fox’s Batman, and keep Killer Moth in Gotham-centric books against Batgirl or Robin if not in the main Batman books – but I like the idea of dropping all three of them into Gotham at the same time.

Bruce has to try and put a stop to Wrath’s targetting of the GCPD, but he also has to try and stop this new “Killer Moth Gang” that keeps pulling off heists and just narrowly escaping him, and all the while, Prometheus keeps showing up to try and kick his ass. It’d be like Knightfall or Under The Red Hood, if both were just circumstances stacking by random. Hell, if you wanted to, you could even bring in some of the other “Anti-Batmen” to drive the point home; make Venom a consistent issue in the run; bring Hush in to further try and mess with Bruce, as the only person who actually cares about his secret identity; maybe bring in Catman as a recurring supervillain, specifically to distance him from Wrath, Prometheus and Killer Moth as anti-batmen. And afterwards, whenever you want to introduce a new Anti-Batman, stop and think about whether you actually need one, and what role they’re going to fill in the story and overall mythos. Prometheus and Wrath have practically identical backstories, and I’m not sure that the only reason Killer Moth doesn’t have the same is because he has almost no backstory at all.

Seriously, give you anti-batmen reasons to exist, or they have no reason to exist. It’s simple.

We would now have an anti-batman who’s opposed to the Law (Wrath); an anti-batman who’s opposed to Justice and Superhumans (Prometheus); an anti-batman who’s opposed to The Batman (Killer Moth); and a literal Anti-Batman in Earth 3’s Owlman. Where does your new Anti-Batman fit in this?

The Talons are Anti-Batmen in the service of the Court of Owls, Lincoln March especially; I would argue that TBWL and Zur-En-Arrh, at this point, serve the same purpose as Batmen Who Went Too Far, and honestly, I do prefer Zur-En-Arrh for that, but I also don’t think he’s good at that. There’s no need for Task Force VII to be Batmen, remove that. In general, if something doesn’t have to be a Batman, it shouldn’t be one. We already have a Batman. In fact, we already have Far Too Many.

It's fucking weird that DC keeps making new anti-batmen, evil-batmen, that sort of thing, and just ignoring the ones that already exist?

Like they kind of touched on this in the Dark Knights Metal event - Owlman (Earth 3's Evil Batman) gloating to Evil Baby Batman that Evil Baby Batman, the Evil Lantern Batmen, all these Dark Multiverse Batmen were "dumb ideas," but he's the "original" Evil Batman and so he'll survive the next Multiversal Rebirth - but I'd say even Owlman is a step further than I'm happy with.

Like one of the current antagonists of Absolute Power is Failsafe, Batman's Batman, essentially a robot Bruce designed to stop him if he ever killed (it's slightly more complicated but whatever). The last major villain in the Batman solo was the Batman of Zur-En-Arrh, a split personality he developed that was Just Batman, that lacked the human elements of Bruce Wayne, so it could continue The Mission if Bruce Wayne started to fail (it eventually took over the robot)

The last Major Multiversal Villain was The Darkest Knight, also known as The Batman Who Laughed, who used an army of evil Batmen from the Dark Multiverse to take over all of reality in Dark Knights: Death Metal (that's where the Owlman interaction earlier came from). The Batman Who Laughed was a Batman who killed Joker, got infected by Joker Venom in a kind of Dead Man's Switch scenario, and became a Jokerised Batman. Interestingly, we actually learned all of this in a crossover event from 2018, Dark Knights: Metal, where he arrived on Earth Prime as part of an Evil Justice League from assorted worlds in the "Dark Multiverse," gathered by the god Barbatos. Specifically, an Evil Justice League composed entirely of Evil Batmen filling each role.

This is ignoring the fact that Flashpoint Batman became a significant villain for a time during the City of Bane arc; ignoring the Infected arc between Metal and Death Metal where TBWL "Jokerised" a bunch of characters like Shazam, Supergirl, and Jim Gordon; ignoring the fact that the New Team in Absolute Power (the current event), Task Force VII, are a bunch of Amazos filled with Alternate Universe versions of the Batman of Zur-En-Arrh; ignoring the Joker War, where Joker got his hands on all of Bruce's tech, gear and money; DC just can't stop making Evil Batmen! And it already had more than enough!

As mentioned, you've got Owlman, Thomas Wayne Jr. of Earth 3, an Evil Batman from a Morally Inverted World with its whole Evil Justice League, the Crime Syndicate of America/Amerika, if you're wanting a straight-up Evil version of Bruce Wayne; if you want a highly-trained, highly-skilled tactician who can go toe-to-toe with metahumans that he has no right to beat, you've got Prometheus; if you're looking for someone with a brutal streak and a mission opposite to Batman's, you've got Wrath, a lesser-known Anti-Batman who's kinda of somewhere between Prometheus and Killer Moth; and speaking of which, if you want someone with the gimmicks, gadgets, and over-the-top theatrics of Batman but with a decidedly more Villainous streak, Killer Moth is right there!

Honestly, I feel like DC needs to buckle down and either reintroduce all of them separately or find some way to put Wrath, Prometheus and Killer Moth in a comic together, maybe in a sort of Battle For The Cowl situation. I think it could be fun, watching Bruce struggle to combat three different "Anti-Batmen" with vastly different motives and methods. Hell, bring back Lincoln March, the New 52's Owlman, and you can even have a fourth. Failing that, just use each of them, and really stress the things that make them different.

[thevindicativevordan]

What did you think of Nick Spencer's three year run on Amazing Spider-Man?

Would love to say I never really thought there was a chance OMD was getting addressed, but nah I got punked.

All the teases couldn't possibly be leading up to a fake out could they? Marvel and Spencer had to have known how pissed people would be, how an unsatisfying resolution to the Kindred Saga would poison Spencer's entire ASM run. Silly me, I forgot that Marvel already had peoples money and they would still sell a bunch of issues by leading people along. My final feelings on the run are very mixed but leaning towards negative. There's a lot to like, the run isn't completely without worth despite not addressing OMD, but the ending is incredibly unsatisfying in much the same way as Spencer's Captain America runs are. Which is both sad and funny considering this was clearly meant to be a redemption run for Spencer, a way to rebuild his reputation after Secret Empire.

Let's start with the good: Spencer has an encyclopedic knowledge of Spider-Man lore and a love for the lesser known Spider-Mythos characters. Theresa Parker from Waid's Family Business story shows up and is used. Randy Robertson returns as Peter's roommate and Beetle's boyfriend. J.J. Jameson learning Peter's identity and becoming one of his biggest supporters over in Zdarsky Spectacular is incorporated here, I love how Jameson tries to "help" Peter. Spencer even had Jameson point out that Peter antagonized Jameson just as much as the other way around, Spider-Man was an asshole as a kid. Didn't deserve to have Jameson slander him in the Bugle but he gave as good as he got, he wasn't a saint or martyr right off the bat the way people think. Accepting his role in their feud was one of my favorite moments of the run.

His handling of the Gibbon for example is still one of my favorite Spider-Man issues focusing on one of his villains. Gog as Peter, Randy, and Fred's "house pet" was pretty sweet and a neat way of using him. Speaking of Fred aka Boomerang, this is his best showcase since Superior Foes, unsurprising considering Spencer wrote that as well. Mysterio trying to go clean as a movie director is a fun subplot that sadly never got completed because of the pandemic killing the Mary Jane book. Black Ant and Taskmaster are a hilarious duo, pity we never got a book from Spencer just about those two. The big villains have a role in this, particularly the Green Goblin, but it's a run that feels overwhelmingly more interested and excited in playing with the more obscure Rogues and characters.

Peter and MJ are both written very well here. Peter feels like a return to the Pre-OMD incarnation. He's serious, mature, and frustrated with how his life constantly twists and turns. Unlike Slott Peter who would just shrug his shoulders and take it as the ol' Parker luck, Spencer's Peter is very unhappy with where he's at in life. He wants to move forward, to progress, but he can sense that he's hit this invisible wall that he just can't seem to pass through. ASM 60 where Spencer writes Peter reflecting on his life since OMD is one of my favorite Peter moments of the last decade.

Reflecting on his status quo makes him upset, makes him feel like a failure, makes him feel more relatable than he has in years to me. MJ is great in this run too because Spencer gives her stuff to do. Around the time of BND, the writers said that MJ sucked because she just spent all her time staring wistfully out a window as Peter webswinged away. My reply to that was "bullshit, and even if it was true you could write her doing something different". She doesn't need to be fighting alongside Peter in a costume to be useful and relevant and she's not in this run.

Over the course of Spencer's run, MJ is a source of comfort and drama to Peter. Drama not because of dumb petty arguments but because Peter is wrestling with whether or not he wants to take it to the next level and propose. Comfort because she helps Peter express his emotions rather than just bottle them up. Also she's an active character in her own right thanks to Spencer tying her acting career to Spider-Man himself when she helps Peter get up on stage and vent, and through his Rogues via her working with Mysterio and trying to help him go straight. Really does feel like the closest this post-OMD era has been to the pre-OMD era ever.

With that we come to the bad: This run teased addressing OMD and totally chickened out of doing so. Chickened in a way that leaves everything about Kindred stupid and nonsensical. Chickened in a way that feels cheap because this run was obsessed with basically "fixing" Spider-Man. Kraven coming back after Kraven's Last Hunt was cheap and stupid, so Spencer kills him off and leaves a clone so that writers can keep using "Kraven" without ruining the ending of KLH. Peter taking advantage of Otto cheating his way into a doctorate is exposed and Peter is forced to earn it himself honestly. Harry coming back to life with BND totally ruined his great death under JMD, and Spencer restored that by establishing that Harry never came back to life and killing off the clone that did. But this entire fucking run teased fixing OMD and at the end... it just doesn't?

What about all the hints that there was something wrong with Peter's soul? What about the demons in Peter's mind/soulscape, the MJ quote from OMD that's heard there? Strange being unable to use an artifact because of the deal with Mephisto? Kindred wanting Peter to "confess"? Peter constantly feeling like he's "missing" something? The hints that MJ knows a secret Peter doesn't (referring to the OMD issue's tiny text where she stipulates that she'll remember the deal)? Strange literally going to see Mephisto about what the hell is up with Peter's soul? That was something totally dropped in the final issue where Strange was suddenly trying to save Harry and didn't actually get an answer! Bleeding Cool claims it was always the plan to deal with Sins Past but not OMD. If so Spencer is an ass for baiting people when he never intended to give pay off.

If the plan was always to tackle Sins Past over OMD, my only question is why? People hate SP for sure, but it's not the story that still has a massive impact on Spider-Man to this day! Slott totally ignored it when he brought Gwen back for Clone Conspiracy, you could just let it fade from canon like Avengers #200. Besides the explanation given doesn't even make any damn sense. AI Harry was built before Harry died so how the hell could Kindred have remembered dying in Last Remains? Had someone try to break it down for me on Twitter and I was just barely following the thread, it's so goddamn convoluted and stupid. Harry tricks his dad and MJ into thinking Norman and Gwen fucked (what?) using hypnosis? The breakdown about how Spencer tried to make this retcon work in established canon is truly mindboggling.

From the start I knew if Spencer couldn't give a solid ending to the Kindred Saga it would spoil his run because the entire run is about building up the mystery of Kindred and what he wants. Everything else is a sideshow to that mystery, which was constantly full of OMD nods. The resolution is deeply unsatisfying and confusing even to longtime Spider-Man readers, can't imagine any newcomer would get any enjoyment. Again this was an entire run devoted to "fixing" past mistakes and it didn't fix the big one it spent the entire run building up towards. Can't shake the feeling this was a result of editorial interference however, or from someone even higher-up. That the Lowe goodbye letter barely even mentioned Spencer makes it seem like he didn't leave on good terms.

Ah well what's done is done. Never read The Clone Saga so I have no real attachment to Ben Reilly as a character, but I checked out the first issue of Beyond and I am interested. Came back for Superior so it might just be the idea of following other Spiders that interests me for now, and also curiosity about the one dangling plot thread from Spencer's run: Peter planning to propose. Are they actually going to do that or nah? If it happens it will definitely be in ASM #900, so I will keep reading until then. No longer have any hope that OMD will ever be addressed, not until everyone involved with it leaves Marvel.

But maybe I can still get a Peter that grows again.

[zerogate]

"What do you want?" is the only question eternity can ask of time, and it is our divine gift to answer by asking our own question. Desire, passion, curiosity, longing, novelty, daring, creativity, productivity, lust for life, ecstasy, joy, adventure, all these are the highest thrusts of life, the most divine of attributes, the most sacred of possessions. And all these have been the attributes mistrusted and condemned by that dark priesthood probing for control, domination, and battening on the brother’s blood. Without these seeds from time, however, without these vital gametes from the larger body of man, the womb of eternity is barren.

The “Will of God” shaped as the new metaphor for the old Greek Fate. The “Son of God” was no longer rational man; the “Father” no longer the logos-shaping mythos, the symbol of transference; the “Spirit” no longer the threshold of mind; “God” no longer that divine-demonic, non-judging, amoral, raining on just and unjust alike, the hard taskmaster reaping where he sows not, doubling the talents, any talents, mirroring any desire, and crying “More! More!” Less than all will never satisfy.” By the Greek perversion these became Olympian figures rather than psychological symbols of ontology. They were abstracted from all reality. Jesus’s Way, the greatest of human Eureka! ventures, became a fairy tale, a mundane, ridiculous, pious fraud.

-- Michael Mendizza (ed.), The Life and Insights of Joseph Chilton Pearce

[bolshoiromanova]

Potential Characters, Homecoming, and the Black Widow Movie

Putting this speculation under a readmore for spoilers in case I actually guess something right lol

So awhile back, it was reported that a casting call was put out for Black Widow that featured two characters, male and female, who would reportedly play government agents working with the film’s main villain. This was puzzling to me at first, because off the top of my head I couldn’t remember any characters from the BW mythos that would fit this description (while thinking wholly in the real of possibility that these could be original characters).

And then I remembered Black Widow: Homecoming 

Now let me start this by saying: Homecoming isn’t my favorite Black Widow comic, not even close. Its full of weird gendered plot points, inconsistent in what I think is decent characterization of Natasha, and it introduced some of the most uncomfortable details of Natasha’s mythology (mainly the forced sterilization of Black Widows). Its also, in my opinion, way too R rated for the mcu to try to adapt into a movie.

It does feature though, two former government agents, Kestrel and Max Hunter, who have allied themselves with the main villains in order to hunt Natasha down:

This of course, aligns pretty much perfectly with the admittedly skimpy description of the two government agents. 

Now, while I really don’t like the premise of Homecoming (AKA the serum that keeps Nat and other BW’s from aging is being bought out by some weird cosmetics company), the streamlined, barebones story is compelling enough for a movie: Natasha attempts to retire from the spy/superhero life, only to become the target of an assassination attempt. This pulls her back into the game, only to discover that what’s left of the Red Room is targeting and hunting down all their former Black Widow operatives. Along the way, Natasha is forced to confront and deal with revelations about her past. Take away all the weird cosmetics stuff, and you’ve got a halfway decent plot.  

We’ve already seen shots from the BW set of Natasha doing what looks like normal things like grocery shopping, leading some of us to speculate that she’s trying to be in retirement (whether or not this takes place post or pre Endgame,I simply don’t have enough info to say). We also got a set video of a man quite obviously watching her go into the store, and Scarlett needed her stunt double for a scene after she drove away in her car. Coincidentally, in Homecoming, Natasha is driving home from a rock-climbing trip when someone attacks her in her car, kicking off her coming out of retirement. 

In the comic, a former male Red Room agent Vasily is tasked with taking out most of the Black Widows, but if the rumors are true that Taskmaster is playing a role in this movie, he could easily be a freelance operative hired by the Red Room to do the same job. Yelena could very easily factor into this too. What if she starts the movie working for the Red Room, believing that once Natasha and the other Black Widow’s are dead that she will be the true and last-remaining Black Widow? But then when Yelena fails to kill Natasha, Taskmaster is sent after both of them to kill Yelena for her failure, leading to Natasha and Yelena being forced to team up in the final act of the film? 

Again, as long as the film doesn’t focus on the gross, gendered parts of Homecoming, the barebones story is enough to make a decent Black Widow movie. Like I said, I don’t know if anything I’ve just speculated on is happening, but I do think the theory is a sound one. 

[taskhusbands]

Taskmaster S17E03 Outtake

[ladytauria]

Can we have headcanons for Nova/Offay and Antauri+ Mandarin/ Xan?? As in Masters +apprentice relationship, scenarios, etc

Of course you can <3

Antauri, Mandarin + Xan

Xan was likely not their only teacher, but he was their main teacher. 

He was a very harsh taskmaster, I think. He expected perfection from both of his apprentices, and whichever one of them did better, was then given more praise/attention than the other. It was like a constant competition--and we all know that Mandarin wasn’t going to step back and let someone be better than him.

Xan also confided different secrets to them both. Sharing secret techniques and such--Antauri was taught the separation from your body thing that he did in I, Chiro, while Mandarin was taught other things.

Both were told about the Chosen One--though Mandarin was never as keen about that prophecy as Antauri was. 

Antauri specialized more in the mythos of the galaxy, with emphasis on Shuggazoom City. Mandarin was more focused on the power side of things; he learned all sorts of techniques and moves. Some of which he later taught to Antauri while others he kept to himself. 

Xan had private chats with both--teatime, definitely. He imparted wisdom to them, though different kinds of wisdom.

He actively discouraged a lot of emotional expression, I think. He encouraged distance, to keep part of themselves separate from the rest of the world to better be impartial when it came to the world. Mandarin chafed at this a lot at first, because he felt like Xan was acting arrogant/better than them. He never really did learn to like Xan, though Antauri did. Antauri struggled with keeping his emotions in check at first, and had to face Xan’s disappointment and tests for it.

Nova + Offay

So I don’t think that Nova was his only mentee during her training. I feel like maybe she was part of a class--but also got some private training, due to the Hyper Force and the Skeleton King lurking around the corner.

Offay and Nova worked really well together, especially later in her training. It was a little rougher during the early days, but they still mostly got along. In the early days, I think there was less fighting, and more learning how to center yourself and access that Inner Primate--just like Nova was teaching Chiro in Lords of Soturix Seven. I think Nova had a bit of an issue with that at first, but once she picked up on it, it flowed like breathing. 

I feel like Nova got on well with some of the other apprentices at first, but as she got better and started kicking their asses, plus getting more private lessons, they got jealous and irritated with her. She was probably still close to a few of them, but not all of them. 

Nova and Offay also used to just hang out together. Like, they would hang around, drinking tea or something? And just chatting. Offay imparted wisdom to her and Nova confided in him. It was definitely kind of like a father-daughter relationship, more than just a mentor/mentee relationship.

However it wasn’t always like that. At first they were a little more distant. I’m not exactly sure when it started, but the ice was definitely broken by a big hug from Nova. Maybe a kiss on the cheek. 

That’s all I have for the moment. Thank you for asking!! This was fun, even though I feel like I could have come up with some better ones XD 

[eponymiad]

rules: tag 9 people you want to get to know better or who are just your friends who you always tag on these things wait who said that. i was tagged by @hopetorun

last song: Hozier's "Take Me To Church" is currently paused on desktop but it's equally likely to have been the Young the Giant vinyl on my record player because I haven't listened to music in a few days so..."Guns Out" maybe???

last show: if this is about live entertainment, I haven't seen anyone perform live since 2020 but if I'm SO lucky I'll see Young the Giant this summer

currently watching: the most recent Yellowjackets episode is paused on my TV right now, and I've been doing a mix of Ted Lasso/Good Place/Taskmaster/QI lately otherwise.

currently reading: Mythos by Stephen Fry + The Ones We Burn by Rebecca Mix, both on audiobook. And then just so much fanfic (mostly Ted Lasso, Jeeves & Wooster, and this one House MD fic that I'm trying to get to)

current obsession: why the Ted Lasso costume designer put Jamie in that bright pink outfit last episode. The independent study class I got approved for the summer. How many Lost allusions they can pack into one Yellowjackets episode.

tagging: okay surely none of us still have nine tumblr friends we can reasonably tag right??? I want to do this but I don't want to think of people to tag SO do it if you want to do it so I can see your answers <3

[darthkvznblogs]

Now that it's over, how do you feel about MCU Phase 4?

Well, to be honest, I haven't watched like half of it! Overall, I liked what I watched, but it's hard to deny that the MCU has been struggling to find its footing after Endgame. I'll tell you my take on what I did watch (briefly, I'm not a reviewer haha)

-Black Widow: I liked it! Kinda too little, too late for Natasha's character, to be honest, but it was a neat adventure. Yelena was the standout there, great addition to the MCU. I even kinda liked "Taskmaster" (though, yeah, not at all what I would've hoped for a live action Taskmaster) Still miffed the Widow is dead, though.

-Shang-Chi: Loved it. Could call it formulaic, origin story and all, but I don't mind that, personally. The new characters are all great, the return of Trevor Slattery was very funny, the fight coreography was excellent, and I really loved Wenwu and the reimagined Ten Rings (though I wouldn't mind if they turned out to have some of their comic-accurate powers later on wink-wink)

-Eternals: I liked the mythos it brought to the table, and the visuals are incredible, but the romance that's core to the story couldn't have been more bland if it tried, and the Deviants might as well have been an environmental hazard rather than antagonists.

-No Way Home: Loved it! I'm a sucker for that kind of fanservice, not gonna lie. Almost all the returning villains were amazing (except Lizard, he was kind of just...there), but my god, Green Goblin was crazy good. The Multiverse craziness was kind of contrived, and it had kind of a downer ending, but that's the Parker luck for you.

-Wandavision: I liked it, but I feel it didn't go weird enough. Also, you can't convince me that this Wanda and MoM Wanda are the same character. No doubt, Wanda was in the wrong in the show, but there's a far cry from that to going on a legit killing spree. I hated that choice, it felt like character assassination, and it pissed me off enough that I outright refuse to watch MoM.

-Falcon and the Winter Soldier: I guess I liked them. Bucky and Sam were great, and their struggles were very interesting to watch through. John Walker was very good, too, nailed the role. The rest was, uh...well, there's not much there to talk about, unfortunately. Also pissed about Sharon Carter, but she's probably been replaced by a Skrull, in which case I'll allow it.

-Loki: very cool, though I have to say I expected a bit more fun to be had with time travel and alternate timelines. Kind of transparent that this show exists only because Loki's so popular, lol.

-What if...?: kinda hit or miss. Refused to watch the zombie episode because I have a phobia there. Also: poor Tony can't catch a break in that series, lol.

-Moon Knight: pretty great! Like Loki, it's pretty obvious that Oscar Isaac carries the show, but I can't complain. I could see how it'd piss off die hard fans of the comics version, though. He's pretty dang different, from what I know.

-She-Hulk: I've only watched two eps so far. It's funny, and I really like Tatiana Maslany as Jen Walters, but I'm actually really not a fan of the Hulk ever since Endgame. I know the show gets pretty nuts later, so I'm curious to watch more, but who knows when I'll have a chance.

The rest of Phase 4 I haven't watched either from lack of time or because there's something about it that turns me off. I'm sure I'll catch up eventually though!

[bloggingtrucker]

Top Nine Things We’d Like in Insomniac’s Next Spider-Man Games.

So, Insomniac has done the Amazing and put out a very solid Spider-Man experience. They nailed the traversal of the map, filled this world with Spectacular reinterpretations of classic characters, and delivered a story that shows the sacrifice it takes being the friendly neighborhood wall-crawler. And while villains like Sandman, Venom, and The Green Goblin are being teased and saved for future installments, if I may, I’d like to submit a list of things I feel we’d like to see in said sequels in no particular order.

•Better Stealth: What’s there needs work, but there are some decent sneaking mechanics as is. Some tweaking and it could be as good or better than what’s in the Arkham games.

•More of NYC: Manhattan in the game is fine, and I get that it would probably take more money and time to put all of the Big Apple into a game, but he’s supposed to be all of New York’s protector. I get that taking him out of the skyscrapers and into the Staten Island suburbs isn’t the most fun, but there’s still Brooklyn and the Bronx, hell he’s from Queens.

•Mind-Bendy Mysterio Challenges: Had a taste of this during the Scorpion Hallucination level and some time trial stuff with the Taskmaster, why not mix the two and let the level designers have some fun and run loose.

•A level/DLC where Miles has to fight Peter as Man-Spider: Here’s where we start to get into some spoilery bits. At the end of this game we see Miles Morales has developed powers and shares it with Peter, who in turn decides to share that he’s actually Spider-Man. So it’s safe/fair to assume that in the inevitable sequel that we will get to play as Miles. I think it’d maybe be thematically appropriate to have him save his Mentor from himself. Because most spider-fans will tell you, Peter can be his own worst enemy. Besides, why not lean into the weirder side of comics?

•Spider-Woman (Jessica Drew and maybe the other ones): Spider-Woman, and specifically Jessica, are very popular characters and I feel that a lot of people would enjoy getting to play as her and all her weird powers. Plus, Spider-Gwen DLC.

•Madam Webb: Getting back into spoilers, with the death of Aunt May, Peter May start to feel lost and rudderless. Enter a kindly blind lady who seems to know more about him than he may be comfortable with, and you’ve pretty well set up the mystical side of the Spider-Mythos.

•More Marvel characters in general: While the city in this game certainly feels alive, it is odd how there aren’t really any other heroes that we run into. Sure, there is a “presence” that’s felt with locations like the Law Offices of Nelson & Murdock, the Sanctum Sanctorum, and Avengers Tower, but never once do we run into Luke Cage, Daredevil, or even Squirrel Girl. It would be nice to actually interact with the other members of the House of Ideas.

•Anya Corazon and her badass armor: This is mostly self-indulgent fan-wankery. I’ve always been a fan of Anya’s since I picked up her digest sized trade during the seventh grade Scholastic Book Fair, and I like the idea of a sort of scrawny teenaged girl being an absolute tank on the battlefield.

•Some Spider-Verse themed DLC: Part of the reason that we have so many dope Spider-Threads to play dress up with is because of so many different re-imaginings of Marvel’s most profitable hero. So, why not basically remake Spider-Man Shattered Dimensions and parce it out into little bite sized bits?

[blacknerdproblems]

I’m a day one Spider-Man fan, and the great thing about being a Spider-man fan is having a great legacy of games to act out your every fantasy of being the famed wall-crawler. You know, when it comes to adapting popular properties, it’s pretty tricky. Especially in gaming, you end up with a lot of shameless cash-ins that are terrible. However, what makes a large portion of Spider-Man games so good is the love that developers have for the character.

A new Spider-Man game is on the horizon and it seems to share the same sentiments. I couldn’t be more excited. There is a lot to love and the past week threw a lot of new information our way. So, let’s look at why games featuring the webhead are so great and why nobody can stop me from getting hyped about Marvel’s Spider-Man when it hits the PS4 this fall.

A Legacy of Swinging in this Streets

Spider-Man is Marvel’s most popular character. It’s no surprise to see that over the course of gaming our boy spidey has a long history dating all the way back to the Atari 2600. Now, I could list every Spider-Man game under the sun but that’s boring. Instead, I’ll point out why the Spider-Man games work so well.

It all comes down to two things – Spider-Man and NYC. These are the crucial elements that developers always focus on nailing down because they are so important to the Spider-Man mythos. Peter Parker is the down on his luck New Yorker that’s just trying to live up to his promise and do good – pretty relatable. All of the powers of Spidey – including the web-slinging, acrobatics, and crawling on walls – are key to his appeal as well. When done right, it’s a spectacular feeling for players to experience the freedom of flying through the air and making New York your playground.

 Spider-Man’s great legacy in gaming only continues as Marvel’s Spider-Man hits the PS4. This time around Insomniac Games takes the reigns and if that’s not enough to excite you then shame on you. Insomniac is responsible for great games like Spyro the Dragon, Resistance, Ratchet and Clank, and most recently, the overlooked Sunset Overdrive. That last game is important because while not perfect Sunset Overdrive was a fun game with a great open world feel. The team at Insomniac is known for making quality titles, and having their talents on a Spider-Man game just feels right.

One of the things that I like the most about this interpretation is the heavy focus on the story. Insomniac is digging deep in Spider-Man lore to create their own interpretation of the character into their game. It’s cool because this Spider-Man story truly feels like something new but familiar at the same time. Also, the team at Insomniac is taking the chance to showcase some lesser-known villains like Mr. Negative, which makes me excited to see what other villains they will introduce. So far, the Kingpin, Shocker, and Taskmaster are also confirmed.

In Game Informer’s interview with Creative Director Brian Intihar, they discuss some new information about the game. This includes how players can interact with the citizens of New York, combat, and exploration. Insomniac really wants to nail down making the city feel alive and making it fun for players to explore. There seems to be an amazing amount of fluid and dynamic movement to how Spidey makes his way through the city. From the trailers alone, you can see that Spider-Man never stops. In the interview, Intihar states, “We didn’t want to stop the players’ momentum at all. If you slam into a building, you run along it or up it, depending on the angle.”

[r4isstaticreviews]

Immediate Reactions #2: Doctor Who - Spyfall Episode 2

 A most likely occasional, possibly regular series in which I note down immediate reactions to TV shows/films, with a view to longer form reviews in future.

Spoilers below!

Very good. The only bit from the main plot which didn’t quite work for me was the leap from “we’ve been harvesting all your data”, straight to “and now we can reformat all your DNA!” but, honestly, it doesn’t really matter. Doctor Who’s about ideas, rather than logic, so handwaving for effect is OK here.

Ada Lovelace! Charles Babbage! I really hope Sydney Padua was watching, and can verify the authenticity (or otherwise) of the references. It’s a shame Babbage wasn’t more like in the cartoons, though ;)

The original Tissue Compression Eliminator sound!

Anyone else thinking the WWII section was going to go a bit ‘Allo ‘Allo? Just me, then.

Are we the baddies? Why have we got skulls on our uniforms?

Nice touches to make it very clear the Doctor hates fascists. (Arguably a better treatment of WWII than ‘Let’s Kill Hitler’)

It’s good to have the Master engaging in a crackpot scheme yet again - although Missy was great, I never really liked the Simm version, and this just felt right.

That said, bringing back the Master so soon (comparatively) after we last encountered them as Missy, does feel a little odd in that there’s no reference at all to their last meeting. But, I guess that was almost three years ago now. One that will irk longer-term fans, but doesn’t really matter tbh.

The Doctor mind-wiping Ada and Noor - understandable, but perhaps a little icky? Less so than when it happened with Donna, I guess.

With the central plot, there was a little bit of having your cake and eating it - fearmongering about the power of technology, but also then marvelling at Ada Lovelace’s visions of the future. It’s a complex subject, for sure, but the former meant that the latter never really came across, fully sold.

I’ve clearly been binge watching Taskmaster too much over the holiday period - “You have three minutes to prepare.” Your time starts....now.

Overall, I’d say it stuck the landing from episode one. It’s a big opening number, and I suspect the return to something more mundane might be a little bumpy. But with an actual series arc to weave in, this time, perhaps there’s some hope. It feels (at least from these two, plus last year’s Resolution) that Chibnall’s being much, much more confident in his approach now. Long may it continue, please. (9/10)

Series Arc spoilers below...

Nice to explicitly pick up on the ‘Gallifrey in bubble universe’ thing - Chibnall’s basically pulling the same trick as RTD did with “they all died”, but this time tying it back to some (presumably new) Timelord mythos. Looms and the Other, perhaps? 

I just hope that the whole Rassilon/Omega stuff isn’t completely abandoned - fine for it to be cast in a new light, though.

[hobdrawblin]

Pop family! On request from @apanchalypsenow #pop #funkopop #popvinyl #cthulhu #squirrelgirl #punisher #taskmaster #venom #generalgrievous #macewindu #viserion #deathwing #swampthing #sylvanas #spidergwen #gwenpool #deadpool #goku #frieza #alien #xenomorph #predator #rocketracoon #groot #jasonvoorhees #marvel #worldofwarcraft #gameofthrones #dc #horror #mythos #dbz #dragonball #guardiansofthegalaxy #starwars #didimissanything?