#than for a 9-5 that makes me wanna kill my self

[mage-propaganda]

Do you ever get the urge to say “fuck it” and just become a pirate?

[madkiska]

watching the entirety of jrwi: riptide again. here's some important things from the first few episodes that I feel we forgot (<110 mentions too though)

Jay

Had night terrors similar to those of Kubakinta's curse in episode 5, and they eventually start returning even after Loffinlot's curse is lifted ○ All of them were about her family and/or the navy ○ I simply think people leave her out of the nightmare stuff and she deserves it. Hurt her more, please (he said, lovingly)

was actually very upset at having to use her medal to get a Loffinlot rebellion to shut up ○ This could be because she didn't want them to guess she was a spy, but I choose to believe it's because she felt guilty

"If you're gonna be sailing with someone, you should have a good relationship with them. [nervous chuckle]." She says, while asking him for information about the Black Rose Pirates (ep. 10)

Said "thank god they didn't find me" after a nightmare about the navy attacking. Even when she was supposedly a spy, who one day would have to return to the navy ○ Very unclear if she was scared of her dad, or if it's because she was a secret spy so the navy would've just killed her

Rewatching, she was suspiciously into the plundering and gold and stuff. Like that was real sus. It doesn't fit her current character much

The only one among them who's gambled before

Chip

The entire thing literally starts off with Bizly holding a lit match

Called Gillion "Gill" and Jay "Sureshot" from an early stage

Was SO much more of a bastard. Lied to Gill constantly, didn't care about anything but the money, etc.

Had aggressive hand tremors alongside Jay's night terrors ○ Gill cures it with lay on hands

When he gets drunk married, they talk extensively about how he'd be released when he's dead. Welp.

They did actually break up and it was fine and they were still friends. They parted on good terms

Is really fucking good at chess ○ Beat Earl twice and Jay once. Jay had a point of exhaustion after a nightmare but Earl had no excuse ○ Lost to Gillion though, but only cause of prophetic screwup ○ This kid is smarter than he lets on, y'all

Was the first one to have a backstory dump while Jay is asking him about the Black Rose Pirates, yet still we know jack shit about his life before them other than "orphan"

Gill

Charlie has referred to Gillion with 'they' many times. I can pull receipts.

When describing Gill, Charlie said: "He's more.. elven, if you had to make a comparison. 'Cause I don't wanna be a fish guy". Oh, honey.

Smote a bald person by using his hair as a whip (ep. 4)

Was given anxiety and self-doubt alongside jay's night terrors and chip's tremors ○ "What do you want?" "I want the feeling of satisfaction I've been chasing my whole life." ○ This was episode FIVE.

First mention of the prophecy and how Gillion wasn't their ideal student is ep. 7, after he divine smites + prophetic screwups and deals like 60 damage to some beetles ○ Chip spends the next 30 seconds in gay awe

He refers to the crescent moon Niklaus tattoo as "my zodiac" (probably a bit) ○ It's not a lil basic white girl moon this thing is the entire size of his forearm

Gill had never heard about the Black Sea - it's unclear if the Undersea just don't know, or if that's just how sheltered he was (ep. 10)

Biz: "What would Gillion do. If he just had no goal - was just sitting there." "Gillion always has a goal." "Would his goal ever be to just.. Sit there?" "Absolutely not." ○ Later, Chip expresses that he doesn't know what Gillion likes. What he would want out of winning a bet. Gillion doesn't have an answer

Other

Apple, in a couple of early battles, acted like Gill's familiar (see: ep. 7)

They also pecked at his Niklaus tramp stamp and looked all confused at the idea of eating seeds

The specific crescent of the moon in the Niklaus tattoo is known as a symbol of "corruption" (ep. 9) and its antonym is the sun, for "life", similar to the yin and yang ○ Interesting to consider after what the tree said in 110 <_<

Pretzel has a masters degree in couple's therapy (ep. 10)

The Albatross/Millennium Chipper was described as the colour of rosewood or mahogany

Captain Lizzie's first introduction was a wanted poster, and Chip wanted to turn her in for the prize, then decided to try learn from her instead

Chip/Bizly called Old Man Earl "Erol" for a loooong time ○ Maybe it's an accent thing but I have an uncle called Erol and so this stands out to me

[masculinepeacock]

the story doesn't touch her

@garcavisconde || Strange Girl, Laura Marling || The Anthropocene Reviewed, John Green || Poems, Louise Glück || How Bad I Wanna Live, Maya de Vitry || Ritual is Journey, Chris Abani || @creacherkeeper || The Anthropocene Reviewed, John Green || Myth, Amythyst Kiah || @aweega

[Image Description: Ten images of text.

1: *covered in blood* i will.... *trembling* CHOOSE TO BE KIND... *in pain* i will be... NICE to others... *wanting to kill* i will see good in EVERYONE *yielding a knife* i will NOT be like those who hurt me... *screaming* i will be BETTER then who i was..."

2: "My lonely girl // MY angry girl // My brave // I love you, my strange girl".

3: "For many species of large animals in the twenty-first century, the single most important determinant of survival is whether their existence is useful to humans. But if you can't be of utility to people, the second best thing you can be is cute. You need an expressive face, ideally some large eyes. Your babies need to remind us of our babies. Something about you must make us feel guilty for eliminating you from the planet."

4: "My soul has been so fearful, so violent: forgive its brutality."

5: "only place for my heart is the very next step // only place for my hands is holding to the ground around me // i was lost from my body worse than i thought // now i love her more than ever, yeah she's all that i've got".

6: "As you lay dying I asked, What if your biggest regret? // Every kindness withheld, you said. // Every flicker of pleasure denied, you said. // Look, you said, sunlight."

7: "story magic is scared of her and the god of evil death and chaos wants to put her in a jar".

8: "But it's an exceptionally minor vice, and for whatever reason, I've always felt like I need a vice. I don't know whether this feeling is universal, but I have some way-down vibrating part of my subconscious that needs to self-destruct, at least a little bit."

9: "I said, somebody somewhere // will find what's left // Oh yeah // And we'll become a myth, man, // oh man".

10: "characters with prey animal rage // characters with both the abject terror and murderous desperation of an animal that knows it is cornered and destined to be eaten. you just can't get that kind of angst out a successful hunter. but alternatively i posit: predator animal fear. which is a totally different thing". /end ID]

[raineandsky]

The Villain's Housekeeper

(part 1) (part 2) (part 3) (part 4) (part 5) (part 6) (part 7) (part 8) (part 9) (part 10) (part 11)

The superhero waits with a patient smile whilst the security guy locks a pair of handcuffs to the hero’s wrists and to the table. And then they’re both gone, and the hero is alone in the interrogation room. As alone as they can be with the unsubtle mirror lining the wall next to them, at least.

Breaking out has proven a lot harder than the first time. The superhero’s clearly taken notes from their last escape. So here they are, four days later, once again in this interrogation room, waiting, vulnerable, scared of what it means to be here.

Security appears again after a long minute, the door creaking on its hinges in a way that almost sounds like a very familiar, “God, get your fucking claws out of my shit.”

The hero turns as far as the cuffs will let them, which isn’t far at all, but they don’t need to anyway. The villain gets dumped in the interrogator’s chair opposite them three seconds later, a string of sharp insults jabbing at the man from security whilst he locks their own cuffs to the table and pretends he can’t hear them.

The security guard steps back and the villain finally seems to notice the hero for the first time. Their eyes widen, almost imperceivable, their lips parting in surprise.

“Figured you’d like to see who got you in here,” he says, and with a self-satisfied chuckle he lets himself out the door. Just the two of them.

The villain stares at the hero. The hero averts their gaze, ashamed.

“You gave all my shit to [Superhero]?”

Disbelief. The hero wishes they could somehow look away even more. They can feel the villain’s eyes digging into them, begging questions, demanding answers. “I’m sorry,” the hero says past the lump in their throat. “I’m so sorry. I never should’ve—”

“You made me a target for the agency.”

The hero’s next breath is a shudder. “I was– I was scared, I wasn’t thinking—”

“[Hero].”

“I’m so sorry, I never should have—”

“[Hero].”

The hero shuts their mouth. They risk a glance up; the villain is staring– no, watching them, with a softness they didn’t expect to find. Their brow knits into that telltale concern.

“It’s okay, [Hero]. I’m not mad about that.”

The hero tries to hold down a belated snivel of shame and fails. “You’re– you’re not?”

“I told you not to snoop. I’m mad that I couldn’t get a law-obsessed hero to follow one rule.” Their lips tip into a ghost of a smile. “But no. You gave the agency a reason to not kill me. You made me valuable.” A short laugh escapes their throat, a bark of a thing, coarse and alive. “You saved my life, [Hero].”

The hero makes some uncontained noise of bewilderment. “No, [Villain], they want information, they want you alive to—”

“They have all the information they want from me,” the villain says with a smirk. “It’s on your boss’s desk right now. My entire career was detailed in that office.”

“But then why would they—”

“Codes.” The villain’s smirk somehow gets more mischievous. “Half my paperwork is unreadable without me to decipher it, but I don’t feel like letting up on my secrets just yet. They haven’t found anything that can convince me to tell them.” Another laugh, bright, unbothered by their predicament.  “Like I say, I’m important now. Indisposable.”

The hero can only gape at them for a second. The villain truly looks out of place, their hands forced to the table, a triumphant smirk on their face like they’re not in the agency’s clutches. To them, to not die for the supervillain’s own terror, is victory.

The villain’s smirk turns into something sweeter, their eyes crinkling slightly with how genuinely they smile for a moment. “And you’re back where you wanna be,” they say softly. “Congrats.”

The hero’s gaze turns downward again. “I’m sorry for—”

“Stop apologising, [Hero]. I said it’s fine.” They reach across the table, as far as the cuffs will let them, to carefully take the hero’s hands in their own. “This couldn’t have worked out better for either of us.”

The hero flinches away from their touch like they’ve been shocked. They don’t have the heart to tell them that’s not true. “[Superhero]’s watching,” they say instead.

“I don’t care,” the villain retorts immediately, but they don’t move to retake their hands. “Look, [Hero], I stepped out of my house with a lot of feelings I didn’t get to say out loud. Walking through those streets, waiting to die, I– I regretted it sorely.”

It’s the villain now who turns their gaze away, their expression carefully neutral. “You did a lot to help me. I tried to help you in return—kind of.” A grin pulls at their lips, and the hero knows that they’re thinking of that goddamn maid outfit. “I found myself… I don’t know, starting to actually like you. I– I think I—”

The door behind the hero cracks against the opposite wall. “Alright,” the superhero says shortly, and the villain’s expression sours immediately. “Fun’s over. Let’s show our prisoners what prison actually means, hm?”

The villain’s eyes turn to the hero, confused, before seeming to finally notice the cuffs on their own wrists.

“Prisoners? What—”

Their question doesn’t come out. The security guard unlocks the villain from the table first. “What the hell does that—”

The security guard shoves the villain to their feet. They whip around to spit at the man behind them but nothing comes out. They just turn back to the hero, then the superhero, then the hero again, their expression dipping into more and more horror as the realisation of what’s happening comes to them. The man has to push them to the door.

“[Hero]—” they try, but they get shoved outside and the door slams behind them.

The superhero sets their eyes on the hero, seemingly very pleased with the outcome of their little reunion.

“Come, [Hero],” he says brightly. He unlocks their own cuffs with a click. “Let’s get these codes out of our friend, shall we?”

(Next part)

Taglist:

@runarelle @thiefofthecrowns @morning-star-whump @epiclamer

[mxaether]

MITCH MARNER -VS- TORONTO MEDIA/TORONTO FANS/HIMSELF/EVERYONE (a playlist for when you love a thing so much, and it bites you)

track list and selected lyrics for each under the cut ❤️

1. I Want You So Bad I Can't Breathe - OK GO i want you, yeah, i want you/ i want you, yeah, i want you bad/ so bad i can't think straight/ so bad all my bones shake / so bad i can't breathe 2. Careful What You Wish For (the doctor said to) - Jack Harris something is missing/this predisposition/i feel like i'm living inside of my head 3. Who Made You A Monster? - Hael tricking the world to trust you/but everything that you say/is some kind of sordid lie/who taught you how to lie so well? 4. GOSSIP - Maneskin, Tom Morello welcome to the city of lies/where everything's got a price/gonna be your favourite place -- so sip the gossip, drink till you choke/sip the gossip, burn down your throat 5. Don't Be Nice - Watsky false modesty is a guilty habit/some people simply have it/but the fact is i would not have spent a decade doing this/if i did not believe i was at least a tiny bit ridiculously filthy at it 6. JEKYLL & HIDE - Bishop Briggs sweet and then you're sour/changes by the hour/never know which one i'll taste 7. End of It - Friday Pilots Club it's cruel you know/the way they've been treating you lately/get you real messed up on the daily 8. Nowhere Kid - Des Rocs inside of a maze you hide away/where nobody cares who you are/caught in a lie you can't escape 9. All For Us - Labrinth, Zendaya guess you figured my two times two/always equates to one/dreamers are selfish -- i'm taking it all for us, all/doing it all for love 10. Cruel Devotion - Night Club do you want me? tell me true/on my knees and now i'm begging you/loving you is such a cruel devotion 11. Who Are You, Really? - Mikky Ekko i have nothing left to prove/cause i have nothing left to lose/see me bare my teeth for you/who, who are you? 12. Heartbreak Feels So Good - Fall Out Boy is there a word for a bad miracle?/nobody said the road was endless/nobody said the climb was friendless 13. Some People - Dan Mangan cause it's too easy to be righteous when you eat what you've been fed/some people don't question what they've read/some people should 14. SELF-SABOTAGE - Waterparks i'll self sabotage/if you like when we talk i'll dislocate my jaw/what the fuck is wrong with me 15. Matches - Huxlxy bring me the ashes/set me alight/i'd rather burn than say goodbye 16. SICK - Chandler Leighton never let anyone see your guard down/too proud, just stop, keep my frozen/iced out, i'm six feet underground 17. Black Wave - K. Flay shaking in my own cage/what do i believe? i believe/waiting on a black wave/living under bad days 18. Middle Finger - Bohnes you show me love and then spit in my face/making your money off all of my pain 19. still feel. - half-alive when i'm furthest from myself/feeling closer to the stars/i've been invaded by the dark/trying to recognize myself when i feel i've been replaced 20. Rather Die - Barns Courtney i came to kill 'em, now i'm/wipin' the spit from my eyes/i take a beating but i/i'll never give up 21. Lake Effect Kid - Fall Out Boy oh i've got the skyline in my veins, forget your night time/sumer love on a gurney with a squeaky wheel/and joke us, joke us til Lakeshore Drive comes back into focus/i just wanna come back to life 22. Stronger - Kanye West n-now-now that, that don't kill me/can only make my stronger -- do anybody make real shit anymore?/bow in the presence of greatness/cause right now thou hast forsaken us 23. Bulletproof - La Roux, GAMPER & DADONI i won't let you turn around/and tell me now i'm much too proud/all you do is fill me up with doubt/this time, baby, i'll be bulletproof 24. What Do You Want - Nico Vega you can go ahead and hate me/for bringing in news, but you could still choose/ain't going to be a party/but you turn it all down, down, down/say, what do you want?/what do you want from me? 25. I'm Gonna Win - Rob Cantor you've seen me before, you'll see me again 26. Hero - Martin Harrix, JVKE

a thousand voices whisper noise/they plan my fall from grace/whoa-oh, i know/you say you want a hero, you don’t

[saltygilmores]

Fr Lorelai's parenting was so questionable sometimes and not just because of the advice but in general:

1) she let her teenage daughter consume so much caffeine and was even proud of it

2) she let her drive underage and get into an accident (the deer)

3) when Rory came late to the exam and wasn't allowed to take it, Lorelai made a scene and demanded that her daughter be the exemption to the rules because she is so smart and special

4) went on to date Rory's English teacher like that won't leave a mark on the kid

5) pretends to be such a "cool mom" that's not afraid to talk about sex with her daughter except she isn't. The only time birth control is brought up it's a punishment for staying out late with her boyfriend. Which she proceeds to treat her coldly and distantly over for the next week, as if she had never pulled anything like this when she was Rory's age. Like if you're genuinely that worried that she will have sex just ask her?? Take her to the gynecologist? Once she does tell her she may be ready to have sex, Lorelai hangs her head in sadness and acts like she's at a funeral.

6) as you keep pointing out, she is waaay too involved in Rory's relationships and drama and makes it very clear which boyfriend she prefers. Pushes Rory to stay with her boyfriend when she is already unhappy with her relationship, because Lorelai knows that their relationship is so tame she doesn't have to worry about her getting pregnant. She would rather Rory be in a sexless unhappy relationship than a happy one that potentially involves sex.

7) lets Rory drive a car that her 16-year-old boyfriend with no qualifications built from scratch.

8) get ridiculously overprotective (I broke my arm at 4 and no one slept in the room with me to my knowledge) when her friend crashes the car and says she wants to kill him, while not even reprimanding Rory for letting someone else drive her car.

9) throws a fit when Rory applies to other schools than "her dream school" which has an acceptance rate of like 4%

10) pretends like she's such a best friends first mom but she's not. I mean she is but as long as Rory is doing everything she wants and agrees with all her opinions 100%. But any time Rory does something Lorelai doesn't like, she gets silent treatment- when Rory stays out late with Dean and Lorelai doesn't talk to her properly till the episode after, when she does sleep with Dean (🤢) Lorelai ships her off to Europe with her grandma as if Rory was a troubled 16-year-old not an adult and doesn't talk to her all summer or after she decided to take a semester off at Yale. Both were such Emily things to do and the Yale thing is especially vile because she says to Luke that she will only tell Rory about their engagement once Rory "fixes things" aka does what Lorelai wants her to do. It's so clear she was punishing her with silence.

I am ranting to you because you said that you love to discuss how terrible Lorelai is but if it's too much I apologize.

First off pleeeaseee never apologize for sending me asks or DMS even if they are 25 pages long! And "Reasons Why Lorelai Gilmore Is The Worst" is my favorite game. I wanna play! Here's another one of my biggest grievances! Lorelai does not respect Rory's self agency (is that the right term?) Example: Rory trying to impart on Lorelai that she doesnt blame Jess for crashing the car and that the injury was minor and not bothersome to her and that Lorelai is making way too big a stink over it. Lorelai fights her at every turn like Rory is a small child who can' possibly know what she's talking about and doesn't respect her opinions on anything if what Rory feels doesn't align with Lorelai. I believe Lorelai even tried to one up the doctor who tells them (lorelai and rory) in the hospital that the injury is pretty minor and Lorelai is like no, it must be worse than it is because Jess was driving and he was trying to murder my child! (she ALSO states "the accident would never have happened if Dean was behind the wheel", why, just because she thinks Dean is dreamy he's also not a 17 year old inexperienced driver who may not even have a full license yet and is prone to accidents? (she also gleefully and wistfully recalled how when she was first dating Christopher he drove recklessly on purpose and crashed his car with them in it). Countless other times Rory has tried to impart on Lorelai how she feels about something or someone and Lorelai just fucking steamrolls her. Rory wastes too much oxygen trying to convince Lorelai that Jess is a good person and she should give him a chance. But Lorelai has decide she doesn't like him so Rory must be wrong and not know what she's talking about. You know, I don't blame Rory for being such a damn doormat sometimes, I mean, standing up for herself to Lorelai never gets her anywhere so why bother? To number 9, The episode I just finished is a prime example! Lorelai had a literal meltdown in PUBLIC screaming at her parents, because Rory had the audacity to accept an invitation from her grandparents to merely tour a school and in her half baked mind this was some kind of conspiracy cooked up btwn the three of them to spit in Lorelai's face? Rory isn't allowed to go to any college but the one Lorelai picked out for her? Rory was so frightened of Lorelai's reaction to her visiting Yale that she and Richard and had to go behind Lorelai's back to plan the trip and Rory was practically bracing for impact when she had to tell Lorelai. And then is angry like "why did you go behind my back to arrange this?" Jesus Christ. Even Mrs Kim laid out options for Lane when it was time for college. To number 5: Lorelai said "I got the good kid" when she overheard Rory tell Paris she was still a virgin and then treated her to a trip to the mall. This is fun.

[lover-of-skellies]

Don’t know if you’re still doing this but has anyone asked about inks smoochability?

It's been a year since I've done anything with the smoochability ratings, but hey. There were a few skeletons I hadn't done this for, and Ink was one of them, so I figured I might as well :P

All my logic is under the cut if you wanna look at it, but at the end of the day, Ink gets a smoochability rating of 9. He's one of the safer options, surprisingly enough, so if you'd like to smooch him, go right on ahead. Just be prepared; he could end up accidentally nipping or throwing up ink on you if you get him too excited

1) Is Ink's mouth dangerous at all? I don't believe it would be. His teeth are flat and standard, though I've seen some depictions of him that had little fangs, too. There are no parasites in there, no mysterious diseases/viruses you could catch, and a kiss wouldn't kill you; in fact, the worst thing that could happen would be Ink getting too excited and throwing up ink in your mouth and on you in general. While that's incredibly gross to think about, that's more of a health hazard than a danger factor, since if you kiss him, you'll at least leave without having any blood drawn. So, 2 points for safety

2) Would he bite? Not intentionally. While he IS like adhd incarnate and while he DOES do things that are a bit impulsive (see: everything involving taunting Error), I would assume he knows that biting people is bad. There is a chance that he might bite accidentally if startled, but for the most part, no, I don't see him being a biter. 2 points for not munching on anyone's lips

3) Are there any health hazards to the smoocher? Uhhhh yeah. It's the fact that if he gets too excited, he vomits ink. That in and of itself is gross, but not overly harmful. Then again though, there are different types of ink that exist, and we don't know what specific type he vomits. The impact that accidentally swallowing it might have on a human person could vary, depending on what exactly the type is. Worst case scenario, it's toxic and you need your stomach pumped asap to get it out, and best case scenario, it's yuckydisgusting and only makes you slightly sick for a short amount of time. The hazard level is up for debate here, but I'll still give him at least 1 point since death is not a guaranteed outcome

4) Does he have a sympathetic backstory? Sort of?? I know he was from an incomplete AU and was sorta. Left alone in the vast nothingness, until creators' feelings started raining down on him and he started experimenting with them. It'd really suck to be the only vaguely self aware person from your home, and then be alone eventually, surrounded by nothingness, so that does give me at least a little sympathy. So,, 1 point. It's very unfortunate, but it's not sad enough that I feel like crying over it

5) Does he deserve a smooch? Ehhhh, this one is up for debate. Personally, I'd say no, since from what I know and remember of his canon story, he never really did anything that would make him deserving of a smooch. 1 point, since maybe under the right circumstances he'd be deserving, but as is, I'm not really feeling it

6) Is Ink cute or cool? In a way, yeah, he could be considered cute and cool. He's cute in the "small guy with 0 thoughts behind those eyes" sense, and then he's cool design-wise. His first design was interesting and unique, but it had a lot going on, and then his updated design has less going on visually, but it's still pretty interesting and unique. If I was shown a silhouette of him, I'd be able to identify who he was, so. 2 points

When we add up all of our points and take everything into consideration, Ink is a 9 out of 12 :P he's a safer option, but even then, he could still unintentionally give you a nasty surprise. This is the part where I'd add in a scenario to kinda lay out how it'd go, but like. It's hot here. I'm feeling lazy, and thinking is Hard right now. I have a first kiss master list in my pinned post, which could be something to consider checking out if you're curious at all!

[chuffycharles]

Twin Size Mattress C!Tommy Addition

I need someone to make a ctommy animatic/fanfic with the song 'Twin Size Mattress', here me out on this, the song fits him SO well!! Like heres some random lines from said song and how it could work:

EX 1;

"Make sure you kiss your knuckles before you punch me in the face"-Pandoras Vault, aka him getting beaten with a potato

"There are lessons to be learned, consequences for all the stupid things I say"- Before he was beaten to y'know death he was yelling profanities and purposefully trying to make Dream mad, that is not to say he deserved it, but that Dream was quote-on-quote "trying to teach him a lesson"

EX 2;

"For the friends I've made, for the sleepless nights"- exile. Thinking about his friends(?) whilst trying to sleep in an uncomfortable, cold, cramped, and borderline crappy tent.

"For the warning signs I've completely ignored"- This line has potential for multiple things like maybe pre-exile with Tubbo and how Tubbo seemed more distant to Tommy, or maybe in exile when being told to throw his stuff in a hole he ignores the warning signs that are basically telling him if he doesn't listen he will regret it some way or another and eventually he immediately complies to the request so as to not get hurt.

EX 3;

"I wanna contribute to the chaos I don't wanna watch and then complain"- Post-exile with Technoblade, he starts to heal a bit, and his chaotic personality slowly begins coming back with Technoblade complaining about it which causes Tommy to visibly deflate as he's still in a vulnerable state where everything he is told, everything that happens, every way he's treated has an effect on him. (I live for the angst tbfr)

"Cause I am through finding blame That is the decision that I have made"-Post-Pandoras Vault, after his revival in the prison he feels lifeless in a way. After what was 2 months for Tommy in Limbo he finds it unreal to be back and alive, but he wants to stay like that, so he grows incredibly cautious and self-isolated, staying out of big events just trying to stay more on the down low, never letting his health go down, always wearing armor and staying inside and away from mobs as much as he could. Of course there are exceptions to this, like with the hotel and such.

EX 4;

"It's no big surprise you turned out this way When they close their eyes and prayed you would change"- Tommys just a traumatized child soldier whose seen and experienced way more than he should've, at this point he's just trying his hardest to get by and fly under the radar. Unfortunately for him very few people realize he's still a child, everything he has done was influenced by someone who he could trust or who he thought he could trust. People, mostly adults blame him for things he has no control over, multiple people blame him for wars that aren't his fault, blaming him for small and big problems he was forced into. And then when he's traumatized and has multiple mental health issues (PTSD, Psychosis, Eating Disorders, Minor Schizophrenia etc..) they're surprised, even though its 100% their fault. Leaving him under the care of mentally unstable people (Wilbur, Technoblade, Dream) then praying he would get over this "phase"?? (This made me so mad to type oh my lord)

"And they cut your hair, and sent you away You stopped by my house the night you escaped"-Being exiled from L'manberg, and eventually 6-9 months later escaping to Technoblades house malnourished and frostbitten.

EX 5;

"She hopes I'm cursed forever"- Niki trying to kill him with Jack not realizing (or perhaps knowing but in denial) that its misdirected anger towards Tommy. "And my nightmares will have nightmares every night"-After dreams escape, he becomes more paranoid his every thought on where Dream is when he'll come hurt him. Until eventually Dream haunted his Dreams as well.

Alright I'm done with my rant now!!:D

[pretty-chaotic-world]

if my BPD can scream

1. I wish i could have a normal love... but no, my brain wants to worship every little detail of you until it drives me insane

2. sorry i pushed you away i felt abandoned and suicidal 

3. I’m sick of going to bed and knowing things won’t be better tomorrow 

4. I'll ask you thousands times if you really love, please don't get annoyed

5. I'll create "drama" and mishaps only to feel like I'm in home

6. i’m afraid that one day my anger will overshadow the little love i still have left for the world

7. I feel numb. No tears, no anger, nothing. Just going through the same day again and again. I would rather just sleep without waking up.

8. I'm so tired of everytime one small argument or inconvenience breaks out I want to end it and self destruct, it's so draining. 

9. I want to stop feeling anything and when i actually don't it breaks my heart but I can't cry it out.

10. "its all in your head" well duh where tf else is it gonna be??? in my fucking kidneys????

11. I am constantly between wanting people to care about me and wanting them not to so I can hurt myself without feeling guilty 

12. Psychiatrist told me there is no cure for bpd and I've to change myself. Well why cant they just let me die then?

13. Until you live with bpd you'll never know what it's like to be too much and not enough at the same time.

14. i know im constantly too much for everyone but sometimes i just want to be enough for someone

15. if he will leave me, my next diagnosis will be of "sociopath"

16. im so jealous of all the people who see him and touch him and talk to him every single day it should be me me me me 

17. oh I got my hair coloured. why? because I can't hurt myself anymore 

18. "you're so distant" because you can't handle my abandonment issues.

19. My younger self disappoint me a lot. like why were you begging people to stay in your life? ohh no worries I know the answer

20. I wanna throw a plate against the wall, stab a knife through my hand, destroy my laptop with a hammer, smash my door in with an axe and spray graffiti all over the walls of my room 

21. Why shouldn’t I be mad? Why can’t I just be angry and be allowed to feel it? Why can’t I burn everything down?

22. I have to watch my mouth every fucking second to make sure I don't destroy every relation I have coz apparently social life matters!!

23. Isnt it fucked up how he got away with every horrible thing he made me experience and I’m the one who has to live with myself feeling absolutely fucking worthless 

24. I don't deserve food and love. im a horrible person.

25. this is how my eating cycle goes

feeling weak coz i haven't ate anything -> eat -> purge -> feeling guilty after purging -> eat more -> feeling guilty after eating so much -> cry coz you don't know what's happening

26. the diagnosis makes me believe I'm not insane just lil emo ig!! NOOOO YOU'RE INSANE

27. “don’t let it bother u” baby i’m gonna be bothered by this for the next 10 years 

28. if I tell you I love you its equivalent to I can kill someone for you

29. Actually upon further inspection that shit really hurt my feelings 

30. I don't dive into insecurity anymore, i drown in self-loathe

31. i shut up in between group convo coz I know I'll talk invaluable shit and nobody really cares what I say until it's psychology class

32. "if you are fully aware of yourself, why do you keep acting like that?" slapping self awareness on top of bpd only grants the ability to watch yourself self-destruct straight from the vip section thats all it does literally

33. “Where do you see yourself in the future” building a cult for mentally ill people 

34. ofc I've a praise kind i was ignored as a child

35. I'm much better than I was before. you know why coz I don't to air now and don't see monsters walking by side all the time

36. No I don't want to self harm anymore I need to kill that fucking monster

37. Don't mind me, I'm just casually sabotaging all my positive relationships with negative delusions because my life doesn't feel real unless something dramatic and destructive is constantly occurring 

38. i don’t care i don’t care i don’t care (im going to sob my fucking eyes out)

39. “Stop making your disorder your personality” I have a fucking personality disorder for god sake

40. turning my mental illnesses into kinks and calling it the BDSM-5 

41. "destroy something precious while you're in rage" ohh yeaa and then I'll do that again and again 

42. what I hate most about my BPD is the fact that I have started doubting every emotion that I’ve ever felt in my life, whether it’s love, my grief through multiple traumas, or my anger, & it’s so saddening. It has actually led me to start questioning my reality.

43. if I need medication to stay alive, am I really meant to be here?

44. it's either be alone without 75% of my symptoms, or be with someone and display the most horrendous unstable awful version of myself. why do i have to choose between love & happiness or peace & stability?

45. That fucking bpd rage where everyone's voices makes you want to scream and every noise around you makes you want to sh and you're so mad you can almost feel the cuts everywhere 

46. getting worked up to the point of becoming physically ill (throwing up/stomach issues etc) because you felt rejected/abandoned by your favourite person  

47. i wish my trauma made me kind as everyone says but i’m becoming what i fear the most- a monster.

48. imagine getting diagnosed with a personality disorder and the only visible representation of that disorder is an animated horse man, a sociopathic sitcom character from philadelphia, and darth vader

[forcebookish]

new fic masterlist (now by fandom!)

(tumblr now suppresses internal AND external links, so i may as well have the proper links in the original posts going forward.)

organized by alphabetized media type (ctrl + f: ANIME/MANGA, COMICS+, RPF, and THAI DRAMAS to find what you're looking for), then in order of most recent to least recent.

ANIME/MANGA

the weight in her heart (2/5) BLEACH M | IchiRuki | 10,509 WC

In the span of a few days, Ichigo goes from giving the transfer student a ride to school on his bicycle to watching her die right in front of him. With nowhere else to go, Rukia’s ghost haunts him, hoping to find out what killed her and move on. Claiming it’s only about getting her out of his closet, Ichigo does everything he can to help her move on—including confronting her family and, of all things, going on a date. Yet the more he does for her, the less he wants to let her go. And the closer they become, the heavier the Chain of Fate on Rukia’s chest grows.

COMICS+

kiss you or kick you (4/5) Captain America (MCU) M | SteveBucky (Stucky) | 15,710 WC

All I had to do was hold him. After the fallout from the Sokovia Accords, Steve, Bucky, Sam, and Wanda find refuge in a Wakandan safe house. Desperate to keep Bucky by his side, Steve convinces him not to go back on ice and instead try to loosen Hydra’s grip on his mind. With the help of Shuri and Wanda, Steve tries to put back Bucky’s pieces in the hopes they can finally be together—but what if they’re both too broken to reach for each other? What if it’s like Bucky falling from the train all over again? (Takes place after the events of Captain America: Civil War.)

self defense (one shot) Wonder Woman (DCEU) G | Diana/Barbara (WonderCheetah) | 1,113 WC

Diana may have taught Barbara self defense, but there’s no defense against their mutual attraction.

RPF

thirty minutes (one shot) Thai Drama RPF (GMMTV) E | ForceBook | 3,800 WC

So much of Force and Book’s life together is play pretend, the boundaries between them and their characters drawn out in bold—but for thirty minutes every week, the lines blur.

melt away (one shot) Thai Drama RPF (GMMTV) G | ForceBook | 1,374 WC

Force reminds Book of who he is; he always has. After a day without Force on the Only Friends set, Book has a hard time getting out of Mew’s mindset and the anger he has for Top’s betrayal—so he goes to Force’s to remember what it’s like to love him.

slow down (2/2, sequel to Love Out Loud) Thai Drama RPF (GMMTV) T | ForceBook | 1,556 WC

1. like gravity would betray him: A sleepy, clingy Force helps calm Book before a daunting Only Friends shoot. 2. standing in the eye of a typhoon: Between takes, Book struggles with the most challenging scene in episode six and Force helps him focus.

Love Out Loud (2/2) Thai Drama RPF (GMMTV) G | ForceBook | 1,406 WC

1. I wouldn’t want it with anyone else. After the whirlwind weekend of the 2023 Love Out Loud Fan Fest, Book needs a hug to get to sleep; so does Force. 2. You’re supposed to say it back. (Prequel.) Backstage, Force has a hard time meeting Book’s eyes—but that’s not what Book is looking for.

THAI DRAMAS

make my heart tremble (one shot) Only Friends M | TopMew | 4,385 WC

(Episode 9) After his blow-out fight with Ray, Mew gets wasted and runs into Top at YOLO; he can’t tell if Top is the last person he wants to see or the only one.

a compelling argument (one shot) Only Friends E | TopMew | 2,044 WC

(Episode 11) Top proves to Mew one of the benefits of living with him.

False Alarm (one shot) Only Friends T | TopMew | 1,145 WC

Since the fire at the hotel, Top’s dreams have gotten worse. Even Mew’s presence cannot fight all the demons in his head.

taste you again (one shot) Only Friends E | TopMew | 1,128 WC

(Episode 4) “You wanna go faster? After making me wait so long to taste you again?”

Thunderstruck (one shot) Enchanté T | AkkTheo | 713 WC

Recently married, Theo still protects Akk from thunder like when they were kids.

more than forever (one shot) A Boss and A Babe E | GunCher | 2,311 WC

(Episode 12) Cher left because he wanted—wants—to be with Gun forever, and Gun means to hold him to that.

Extrême (one shot) A Boss and A Babe E | GunCher | 4,536 WC

Cher loves Gun’s new cologne; Gun just loves Cher—publicly and privately.

these are only the fics i've written since i started my blog/under the farewellswords pseud; check out my ao3 for older ones!

[kirkwall]

tagged by @camelliagwerm <3 tysm harps!! this is probs gonna make me sound like a lunatic tho bc im still in my self-made vampire chronicles prison lmao

tagging whoever is reading this and wants to do it :3

1. the last book I read:

i finished blackwood farm (vampire chronicles #9) like a week ago. idk what to say about this one except that it has the first appearance of the word bisexual which is WILD in a series where at least 90% of the characters are in fact bisexual

2. a book I recommend:

have you heard of our lord and saviour babel by r.f. kuang? now you have. no but seriously it is so fucking good and all the ppl saying it's overrated or gets recommended too often are simply wrong lol

3. a book that I couldn’t put down:

also babel tbh. i vividly remember reading the last 150 pages in one sitting and then looking at my phone for the first time in hours only to find out the queen died in the meantime lmaaooo. 10/10 experience

4. a book that I’ve read twice (or more):

honestly i don't think i have? i went from barely reading at all to wanting to read so many books that i haven't really found the time to re-read anything beyond looking up specific passages. i do wanna re-read babel and iron widow tho

5. a book on my TBR:

way too many 💀 i think once i'm free from my vampire chronicles prison i'll tackle what moves the dead by t. kingfisher next

6. a book I’ve put down:

uhh i think leech by hiron ennes? we read it in the book club and it just didn't really grab my attention long enough but i honestly don't remember if i finished it and forgot or if i never actually finished it. i also have like two books on pause bc i forgot about them but i'll pick them up again at some point i hope lmao

7. a book on my wish list:

the gilda stories by jewelle gomez. among other vampire books bc no offense to miss rice but i need to read some that are not Like That lmao

8. a favourite book from childhood:

i really did not read as much as a kid as i should have tbh. i remember reading a series that my aunt got me called abby lynn by a german author. it was about a girl who got arrested and sent to the penal colony in new south wales in the early 19th century and i remember liking it bc it was a lot darker than i assumed was appropriate for my age lmao. but looking at it with an adult brain the colonialism of it all would probably kill me

9. a book you would give to a friend:

i have actively shoved my copy of babel into multiple ppl's hands already lmao. but i also love recommending this is how you lose the time war by amal el-mohtar and max gladstone

10. a book of poetry or lyrics you own:

oh boy i don't think i do. my copy of edgar allan poe short stories might have some of his poems in it as well? but i'm not sure

11. a nonfiction book you own:

one that i recently enjoyed is otherlands by thomas halliday. i passed most of my biology books on to friends but i still have one on immunology and i have a really cute edition of from so simple a beginning

12. what are you currently reading:

prince lestat (vampire chronicles #10). really sad that this one didn't have a signature lestat cringey my immortal type intro :( the showrunners said s2 is gonna include nods/easter eggs for this book which feels wild given how far ahead it is but i'm really curious to find out!!!

13. what are you planning on reading next:

blood canticle (vampire chronicles #11) 🤡 and only 2 more books after that one and then i'm free (to read other books, not mentally tho)

[she-likesorchids]

10 Characters • 10 Fandoms • 10 Tags

Thank you so much for the tag @bellaxgiornata !!!!

These are in no particular order and I am about to absolutely GUSH about my little meow meows (some of them committed crimes so the fuck what) so, putting this under a cut.

1: Elektra Natchios

Alright, so I know most of the Daredevil fandom doesn't see eye to eye with me on this one, but HEAR ME OUT. Until I started reading the comics, I too thought she was just Matt's mean ex girlfriend that came to town to wreck shop, but she is so much more than that. She's an orphan. She's not seen as a human being, but a weapon. All she knows is to kill or be killed. She's a survivor, and she's incredibly self aware. One of my favorite arcs is when she becomes Daredevil in the Zdarsky run and she takes another orphan under her wing as a sort of apprentice, but the girl ends up running away, and Elektra thinks "maybe it's better this way because I'm poison". I didn't think I could cry at comic books, but Elektra just makes me feel all the feelings. Also, Elodie Yung is MY Elektra. I don't even recognize Jennifer Garner as Elektra.

2: Matt Murdock

My DARLING disaster Catholic lawyer vigilante. Oh, he's got a savior complex deeper than the Mariana Trench, but I just wanna cuddle him and stitch up his wounds and tell him it's gonna be okay.

3: Shiv Roy

SHIV DID NOTHING WRONG. She was never going to be given a seat at the table so she had to take it by force. She's just trying to play the game in the world her daddy created. Yeah she's a tough boss bitch on the outside, but she is deeply flawed and she feels just as deeply. I SOBBED at the scene when she reverted back to being a scared little girl when talking on the phone to her dying father. Give Sarah Snook all the Emmys.

4: Gwen Stacy

My blog handle isn't "theradioactivespidergwen" for nothing. Honestly, the Earth-65 Spider Gwen comics are my favorite. I love Gwen so much. She's a drummer, she's a superhero, she's a daddy's girl, she's deeply misunderstood, she's EVERYTHING. I could honestly talk about my dear "Gwenzelle" all day, but I shall refrain.

5: Kate Bishop

Y'all should have heard the SCREAM I scrumpt when I heard that they were bringing my girl Kate into the Hawkeye series! The Avengers' best annoying little sister. I hope to see more of her and I hope that she takes up the Hawkeye mantle from Clint in the MCU.

6: Amy Santiago

Yeah, ACAB and all that, but I have never been so seen in my life in a character. Just, the awkward nerdiness, the need to prove herself to the boys, and the absolute mega type A personality. I like to think I'm Rosa Diaz, but I'm actually Amy Santiago.

7: April Ludgate

"I only like dogs and sleeping late."

Same girl, SAME.

8: Tina Belcher

How can you not love Tina?! I will not hear any Tina slander, NONE.

9: Frank Castle

Another disaster vigilante. He's driven by revenge, but he's still got a soft side. He's a protector at heart, and he loves animals.

10: Lestat de Lioncourt

So, I fell in love with the 1994 movie adaptation, and I attempted to read the books at one point, but life happened. I recently finished the IWTV series on AMC, and Sam Reid's take is just SUPERB. I love that this version delved into the hurt he's endured over his long lifetime, and that there is a reason for his madness. There usually is, but this is nice to see.

No pressure tags and apologies if you have been tagged already: @acrossthesestars @withahappyrefrain @moongirldreamer @spiderispunk @virginiaisforvampires @chvoswxtch @castlesnchurches @peterman-spideyparker @magpie-to-the-morning

[lover-of-mine]

Weekend WIP Game!

Tagged by @wikiangela thank you <3

Rules: List your WIPs below (if you only write one fic at a time, feel free to include future WIPs/ideas!) then answer the following questions. Then, tag as many people as you have WIPs (or more)

WIP List

ill come tackle the monsters

buck breakdown fic

elevator (it's gravity after all)

wayf (i thought i had you (still wrapped around your finger))

duck duck buck

eddie begins

2. Which of your WIPs is currently the longest?

Buck breakdown is currently at around 12k

3. Which WIP do you expect will end up the longest?

Buck breakdown soasokaosk, when I started writing it I was thinking it was gonna be around 15k but I am no where near where I need to be with it, so right now, it's my bet (but wayf could be a longer concept than it is now, depends on how detailed it all ends up being, I'm not sure about some bits there, but it could end up longer than expected too)

4. Which WIP is your favourite to write/the most enjoyable to write? Why?

probably wayf because the story goes in two timelines, the present and flashbacks about the weekend and I'm having a blast weaving the flashbacks into the story

5. Which WIP do you find the most intimidating to write? Why?

definitely the buck breakdown fic (I'm guessing most of the answers will be this fic, sorry in advance oksaoskaos) because it's very emotionally heavy, since my plan is to have Buck confront his own feelings, and Eddie and Chris are hurt, so there's the medical side that I'm trying to get right and there are a lot of scenes with Eddie in the hospital that I needed to stop and reconsider a lot of what I was doing because I wanna stay as in character with Buck as I can, and he's bad with emotions so I can't make him reach the conclusion I need to him that easily and he's also terrible about asking for things he needs and he's a trainwreck through the whole thing and that's a challenge. Also, if I'm making Buck cry, I'm also crying while writing, so I'm crying a lot so seriously, my process with it is a disaster. But I have faith it will be worth it in the end.

6. Which WIP do you experience the most self-doubt about. Why?

the breakdown fic oskaoksoaks and the eddie begins, the breakdown because sometimes i feel like I'm going for a concept that's beyond my abilities as writer, like, I legit sit and contemplate that doc all the time lol and the eddie begins simply because it's a missing scene fic but i need to portrait the specific emotion that i want but at the same time i need to stay within canon, so that's a line that i go back and forth that makes me question a lot of what I do, also because I'm used to writing season 6 or after, and going back to season 3, i really need to tone down a lot of things I'm used to, and that created a lot of "wait, they do not know how to communicate like this yet" that makes me question a LOT on the idea.

7. Which of your WIPs will you seek out a beta/sensitivity reader for? Why?

I don't really do betas because I am the most awkward human on the planet and I don't know how to ask someone for help with a fic aksoaksoaksoaks

8. Have any of your WIPs been struck by the curse of writer's block?

currently the wayf fic, i am obsessed with the concept and seriously i wanna finish it because i really want to read it myself soaksokasskoaksoak but I'm STUCK, like legit nothing is happening in my brain, no words at all

9. Which WIP has your favourite OC? Tell us about them?

i dont have any OCs

10. Which WIP is the sexiest?

i don't really do smut, but the concept of wayf is that Buck and Eddie sleep together, but Eddie panics and says he just wants to be friends, so sex is part of the plot so it does get heated there sometimes

11. Which WIP is the angstiest?

the buck breakdown fic soaksokaoskoaks i mean, i am almost killing Eddie and making Buck scream cry throw up so like, shit gets real there

12. Which WIP has the best characterization (in your humble opinion)?

the elevator fic actually, i'm forcing them to talk but I'm having a lot of fun with their friendship and i honestly believe some of their banter there is extremely on character aoskoaksoaksokasa

13. Which WIP has the best scene setting (in your humble opinion)?

probably the elevator? i am making a conscient effort there so it makes sense with the fact that they are in an elevator and that you can't forget that while you're reading, but I'm not sure actually

14. Which WIP have you worked the hardest on?

i would say it's between the breakdown and the elevator, for different reasons, the breakdown because that fic is the most planned thing I've ever written (and i have 2 over 60k stories that took me like, years that didn't involve the amount of thought I'm putting into this) and the elevator is because i keep googling things aoskoaskaoskas i actually even drew a little schematic of the elevator to make sure their movements made sense oaksokasasoaks

15. Which WIP do you have the highest expectations for? Why?

the breakdown fic sokasokaoskoasksasok cause I can see it so clearly in my head, that I'm staring at it all "i hope you're half as good in paper as you are in my head" like, I can see the whole thing in my head and it looks so good there, so I'm like "you better be good"

16. Do you dream about any of your WIPs?

does the fact that i started writing ill come tackle the monsters because i had an unrelated nightmare and started to write it in the middle of the night because i couldn't go back to sleep count? sokaoskaoskasok but no, not really

17. Do any of your WIPs have particular complexities that your other fics don't?

well, the elevator alternates povs which is a first for me, so that adds a whole layer that I'm not used to.

18. Which WIP is the funniest or has the most humour?

duck duck buck oskaoksoaksokas she's almost a crack fic oskaoskaoksoaks there's this thing where people leave rubber ducks on jeeps and one day buck says he never got a duck, so everyone in the firefam decides to leave him a rubber duck but apparently they all bought them in the same place and it got shipped at the same time because they accidentally all decide to leave their ducks on the same day and the whole thing is Eddie trying to duck Buck while everyone else does it too and Buck is just getting all these ducks sokasokasokaoskasokas and it's just ridiculous really

19. Do any of your WIPs contain outside POVs or a deep dive on a character other than the main ship? How are you finding that process?

i dont think i have one of those, no.

20. Tell us one thing we don't know about one or more of your WIPs

I mean, I ramble a lot about all of them soaksokaoskaoks but a few months back I was on the fence over something and I posted a poll here that was like "this is about the buck breakdown fic you get no context say yes or no" only one person voted no, so, yes won by a landslide and well, that was about deciding if I was going to temporarily kill Eddie and force Buck to watch, so the Buck breakdown fic is temporary major character death fic :)

i dont know whos been tagged but no pressure tagging <3: @eddiebabygirldiaz @bucks118 @honestlydarkprincess @watchyourbuck @giddyupbuck @daffi-990

[canyouimaginethatstory]

Wrongfully Accused Part 14 (Lucifer X Reader)

PART 1: Here  PART 2: Here PART 3: Here PART 4: Here PART 5: Here PART 6: Here PART 7: Here PART 8: Here PART 9: Here PART 10: Here PART 11: Here  PART 12: Here  PART 13: Here  PART 15: Here

Things went smoothly for the next two months. You and Lucifer were happy. He passed every random drug test and visit Billie threw at him. Lucifer got his license renewed. As you predicted Bobby did end up liking him enough to give him his own car to keep and fix up. An old 1985 black Porsche. That's how you knew Bobby considered him a hard worker. He only gave the really good old cars to the employees who did the best and most work. Jessica and Sam were getting more anxious as Jessica just entered her eighth month mark. You were standing in your kitchen. Today was the day you were finally gonna tell your brothers about you and Lucifer. You were especially worried about how Dean would react. You know your oldest brother. It was more than likely not gonna end well. You grabbed a ginger ale from the fridge as Lucifer walked out of the bathroom ready for work. Your stomach always acted up when you were nervous. "You sure you wanna do this?" he asked as he walked over and gently rubbed your back.

"It's time they knew," you told him, "especially if we decide to go to your dad's book thing,". He nodded

"Ok, well call me if you need me," he said kissing your forehead "Bobby will let me go early if he knows you're upset,". You grabbed your bag and keys. Bobby was the only one who knew you were together and though he didn't like it he promised to keep it between you three.

"Have a good day my sexy mechanic," you said giving him a kiss. He softly patted your butt as you left. You got settled in your car and tried to calm your nerves. You hated feeling so nervous. "I can do this" you chanted to yourself as you headed off to the restaurant you decided to meet your brothers at. You decided on a public place so hopefully, your brothers wouldn't make a scene. You pulled up to the restaurant and cut off your engine. "You can do this," you told yourself again. You grabbed your bag and threw your keys in it before getting out of the car. You scanned the parking lot and spotted Dean's Impala so you knew they were already here. You walked in and up to the hostess.

"Can I help you?" she asked

"Yes, I'm looking for a table under the name of Winchester?" you told her.

"Yes, right over here," she said walking you to a corner booth where your brothers waited. She handed you a menu and went back to her podium.

"Hey Y/N," Dean said getting up and hugging you.

"Hey little one," Sam greeted pulling out your chair for you.

"Hey guys," you said sitting down, "have you ordered yet?".

"Not yet," Dean said, "what's this news?". You wanted to tell them but not too soon.

"Later," you told him, "let's just talk for a bit,". So you and your brothers enjoyed your lunch and talked. You listened intently as Dean bragged about taking down a killer who proudly called himself Hitler So now Dean goes around saying he killed Hitler. Which is completely something his goofball self would say. Sam went on about his worries over being a dad soon. You knew he could do it.

"Come on Y/N, we've finished eating," Dean said, "tell us what you need to tell us,". You took a calming breath as your stomach started to feel queasy again.

"Ok, but before I do I want you two to remember I am a smart woman and I am fully grown got it?" you asked and they nodded. "Sam you remember that pin pal project you started for your law class?" you asked. He nodded. "well one of the guys caught my eye," you admitted.

"Y/N did you enter the program?" Sam asked.

"Not exactly," you said.

"What does that mean?" Dean asked confused.

"I snuck a file out of the folder," you admitted, "the guy just caught my attention and we started writing each other and now we're in love,".

"Y/N most of these guys could be dangerous" Sam pointed out.

"He's not," you said.

"Who is he?" Sam asked. This was the moment you knew they'd freak out, but like you told Lucifer you were tired of hiding him. You looked your brother straight in the eye and confidently answered.

"Lucifer Shurley," you said.

"No, absolutely not Y/N," Dean said.

"Dean you are not dad," you pointed out, "and we've been dating for a while and it's been the best relationship I've ever had,".

"He's a criminal Y/N!" Dean said raising his voice causing people to look over at your table. You didn't care.

"No he's not," you said, "He was accused wrongly of a crime,".

"Oh come on Y/N," Dean argued, "did you really fall for whatever sob story he sold you?".

"It's not a sob story!" you spoke a little louder than you meant to, "Lucifer's story has never not once changed Dean,".

"He ripped his own father off Y/N," he pointed out, "stole from his own parent,".

"Oh please Dean," you said, "everyone knows how shady Father Shurley is,".

"He's always done the best for the town," Dean pointed out.

"No Dean he kisses up to the biggest names to keep funding for his lame ass books," you corrected.

"His books aren't that bad," Dean said.

"Seriously Dean?" you asked raising your eyebrow, "have you even read any of them?"

"Well, no," he said, "but people talk about them all the time,".

"Yeah and do the stories sound at all familiar?" you asked.

"What?" he asked confused.

"Like his novel A Fated Hunt. It's literally about dad accidentally killing Jo's dad during a deer hunt,". you pointed out, "and how her mom never fully got over it,".   "So he wrote a story matching a real life event doesn't mean anything," Dean said.

"Or the story of Sam's tiny drug use in college," he asked, "which he cheesily titled Demon Blood,".

"I guess that was bad," he agreed.

"And what about his book about you?" you asked.

"Me?" he asked back confused.

"Heart Throb," you said, "he talked about how you were the lady's man of the high school and how you had that daddy scare with Lisa Brady,".

"Oh yeah, I still don't see how he knew about Ben," he admitted.

"He probably paid Lisa to tell him," you pointed out.

"Look it doesn't matter," he said standing up, "he isn't good enough for you Y/N".

"He is beyond good for me Dean!" you said getting up, "You don't have to like it Dean. But you will not big brother your way into breaking us up and you will not tell me who I can and can not date! I love him and he loves me," you grabbed your stuff and hurried out of the restaurant. Dean started to head after you but Sam stopped him.

"Dean, she's right," Sam said, "it's her life,".

"He's an ex con Sam!" he argued.

"I know and yeah I'm worried too, but she's not a little girl anymore,".

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[localartinstallation]

intro-to-jesus

JESUS 101:

¿really don’t want to do your english essay? take a blinker for me, you, the hoes, yo mama, and God. then get around to starting that cult u always wanted…the ones with vague allusions to a primal feminine rage and faux-cannibalism…

and so i write unto you, my beloved, in hopes i may have love with u 5evah. but i digress…in my experience with one of the many extreme religions, i’d like to wager that any religion that insists on “belonging”, requires an identity from you. this group-assumed identity often lacks the nuances of an actual human being and leads to a lot of, at the deep frustration of gnosis, stagnation…

id like to start this venture off with a little deconstructive exercise in how religion informs one’s sense of identity; therefore, restricting the self. (hows that for a thesis?) personally, i have been informed by christianity and not much else, so forgive me for solely depending on it, but uhhh anyway, in scripture God’s like literal name is pretty much

I AM THAT I AM.         

and that’s, like, a really powerful idea to me. thats the sort of identity i want. hey guy……..we should be like God……..i struggle a lot with identity and i have taken a lot of solace in always depending on the fact that i am that i am. literally works all of the time. try it out on your priest or bishop, or even the folks at home! who are you? I am that I am. what are you? I am that i am? why are you? I am that I am. whats your name? I am that i am. got one of them pronouns? she/they. as easy as pie. shrimple as that! no matter what, we are who we are, and if we learn to accept the fact that a God of all things good has to be infinite in both existence and goodness, then we can actually start believing it. if you wanna listen to Jesus, that really smart and really cool mysterious guy that we’re all somehow best friends with? His God is the God of love and thats pretty cool i think…if you think thats cool then we should be friends, and hang out and love each other so much that we start thinking that love is God. and i found this book that dubiously recorded all that neat stuff Jesus said. but that was like 2024 years ago exactly and so the only stuff thats totally real is that Jesus was just another minority killed by angry romans. i adore the new testament, that shit is peak, and REALLY shoves that whole love wumbo jumbo down your throat. tastes like bread and wine, terrible stuff. anyway, heres what i liked in there.——read em’ and weep liberals——

*PSA: the holy bible i will continually be referring to will be the nrsv edition; the most accurate translation of the original texts according to the academic consensus that i am in possession of. verses may be updated when possible.*

*PSA2: to skip bible lecture: proceed to “end transmission” and continue.* 

2 John 1:5-6 “But now, dear lady, I ask you, not as though I were writing you a new commandment, but one we have had from the beginning, let us love one another. And this is love, that we walk according to his commandments; this is the commandment just as you have heard it from the beginning—you must walk in it”

1 Thessalonians 3:12 “And may the Lord make you increase and abound in love for one another and for all, just as we abound in love for you”

1 Thessalonians 4:9-12 “Now concerning love of the brothers and sisters, you do not need to have anyone write to you, for you yourselves have been taught by God to love one another; and indeed you do love all the brothers and sisters throughout Macedonia. But we urge you, beloved, to do so more and more…”

John 15: 12-20 “This is my commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you. No one has greater love than this, to lay down one’s life for one’s friends. You are my friends if you do what I command you. I do not call you servants any longer, because the servant does not know what the master is doing; but I have called you friends, because I have made known to you everything that I have heard from my Father. You did not choose me but I chose you. And I appointed you to go and bear fruit, fruit that will last, so that the Father will give you whatever you ask him in my name. I am giving you these commands so that you may love one another”

*END TRANSMISSION*

so God is love and Their Love is so incomprehensibly infinite and eternal that we gotta just trust one of the better men in history?    errrrmm yup! is me having the highest regard for love a coping mechanism for daddy issues? not sure…but bad news buddy, God knows you and loves you so fucking much. u dumb-stupid-cute-ass bitch...God will never stop loving you…bitch…but what about these tips to remember all theosophy? cuz its a lot, and thats really hard to remember…

ENTER: MY BOMB ASS BLOG o3o

tune in next time for the “praying with ocd or a million mr.beast bucks? epic super mega awesome challenge". okay love u bye <3

[theerastour]

saw ur post!!! want to debate random things, and just give my honest humble tumblr opinions!!! ❤️💙💜

1- cake is not as good as other desserts!

2- me is an amazing song and it did what taylor wanted to do. if ppl didn’t bug her it woulda been on the set list

3- boneless wings are glorified chicken nuggets

4- ur such a cool tumblr

5- water is the best liquid 🙏

6- drag queens help children more than conservatives who hate drag ppl

7- music isn’t made like those club songs in the 2000-2010s! lemme see that thong, and those rebooks with da fur

8- ppl could do such fun things with lamps- tapestries, fancy bulbs, and we sleep on it. give me fancy eclectic lamps all day long

9- ppl who don’t do something because it’s ‘too popular’ bug me so much! just like taylor swift. just admit how bob ross makes the best clouds. just put on game of thrones. it won’t kill you

10- flannel should be for all seasons- not just primarily fall!

11- ur so cool! i love following you

12- it’s fine for some ppl to be to scared and use anonymous mode. i’m shy but still want you to see my opinions. don’t get mad, i’ll cry.

13- 3 types of mustaches. the 🌽stache, the pervy 🥸, and the mario stache 🍄

14- kindness is hotter than anything! ^ specifically mustaches lmao

15- it’s easier to be productive at night for me!

16- judging a book by its cover isn’t bad if you have good instincts! i’m kinda judgy but it’s helped me know bad from good

17- i don’t like ppl sharing VERY big opinions on things they aren’t educated in! like, stop talking about how vaccines kill kids when you got a degree in English in 1994 and have just been at home with the kids since then. stop. it’s annoying. do researcher!

18- i’m so awesome. it’s not an opinion or hot take. it’s a fact.

19- we shouldn’t pressure ppl to have perfect manicured lawns. it’s hard to keep up with! it’s fine to be overgrown.

lemme know if you’re in love with me and you agree!

omg anon so sorry I didn't see this!! I'm gonna respond with my thoughts on all of these

no I love cake! what dessert is better to you?

wholeheartedly agree. I think it's perfect and (spelling is) FUN

yes but I like boneless wings so...sue me

safdklkdsl so are you!!! (that's so nice thank you!!)

water truly is superior, I love it!!!

facts!!!! drag queens reading in libraries to kids makes me so happy, like do people not realize it's about self expression and empowerment?? isn't that what we want for kids?

facts my 2000s bops playlist just hits on a whole new level

huh, didn't think much about this until now. you're onto something...

I feel that, ppl get that superiority complex if they don't like something popular and it's like bestie it doesn't matter

I do love flannels, so comfy

askjfdsljskl <3

oh of course! the hateful anons ruin it for the ppl who genuinely just wanna connect!

I'm confused??

true!! can't be with you if you're not kind (especially to others and behind closed doors!)

same, I don't feel fully awake until like 4pm

oh true, I've gotten out of scary situations by trusting my gut and going based on instinct

yes, ppl love to act like they know lots about everything. it's ok to say you believe whatever you want but don't be surprised if someone comes in with factual info against it

hahah love the confidence!

if I ever own a house I want a clover lawn so bad!!!