#thank you to those who reblog and help spread awareness! :)

[evildilf2]

Hey guys, my friend Ayiko recently got diagnosed with colon cancer and needs help paying for his cancer treatments.

“*grey freeze frame* i’m sure you’re wondering how i got here—and for those of you who don’t know, i’m Ayiko, a 22 year old queer artist and musician. I’ve always been a creative, from theatre to a film major. My dream is to keep creating, to keep telling stories, to keep sharing my art with the world and with your help i’ll be able to continue with what i love, with my passions. On the night of February the 6th, what was thought to be a routine doctor visit for severe stomach pain turned into an in-patient hospital stay. A CT-Scan revealed the source of the pain was from a rare telescoping and entanglement of the intestines, known as Intussusception. After a successful colonoscopy relieved the pain, it also revealed a lump that was removed during the procedure. Further testing by the pathology department discovered that not only was the lump cancerous but there were additional tumors that were inaccessible without open surgery. The cancer had grown into 5cm tumors and had spread to some lymph nodes. On February the 17th i went under the knife(or in this case a laser) for a robotic colectomy to remove the remaining cancer. There was very little risk in it spreading and it was one of the least aggressive cancer of its type(Neuroendocrine Tumor of the Gastrointestinal Tract). After the surgery, i will be unable to lift more than 10 lbs or walk for long periods of time, which has left me unemployed. Now in post-recovery, i gently ask the community to rally behind my family and i as we face the financial burdens of hospital bills. As a first generation immigrant i am also aware of the family back home that my parents have to look after too(in fact my father is going to visit Uganda in less than a week). That’s why we would greatly appreciate donations of any amount, as i continue my recovery and face the possibility of chemotherapy. Just sharing the link can go a long way. Thanks for reading!” -Ayiko @pretty-roach

Currently donations are at 1.2k out of a 20k goal- any & all help is appreciated, please reblog to circulate.

[starillusion13]

Hi! can I request an ateez 9th member poly au but the scenario is they make her feel left out, being mean and entertains another girl from another grp and she was painted as the villain by that girl! so they gang up on her, she suddenly left the group and now they’re chasing her back!!

Missing Piece

Pairing: Ateez!ot8 x f!reader

Genre: Idol au, Angst, Mature

Warnings: ignorance, tired, mention of drugs( just a rumor), leaving the group, feeling left out, light arguments, anxiety, evil intentions(a pick me not y/n), a mess of emotions nothing more.

W.C: 6.9k

Note: please I want to thanks to people for reading and reblogging. Reviews are always appreciated. Spread love not hate. After writing this fic, I realized that I don't know how to write 9th member fics😔. I hope this what you wanted anon<3.

Network: @cultofdionysusnet @k-vanity

Now let’s take a moment to appreciate my dear friend @dreamsoffanfics Thanks for helping me out and being my proofreader. A dear friend indeed <3.

"Congratulations Ateez!"

Whenever this phrase echoed, you always felt proud and satisfied with yourself for coming a long way. It's obvious that your hard work and determination made it possible for you to stand strong and shine on this ground.

But, a wave of emotions was running inside you today because of the feelings that are itching your mind.

The scandals you are in lately.

The staff and other idols who are passing by while making your way towards the private room are constantly congratulating you and the members of your group. They all are having a wide smile across their faces but you just hesitantly smiled towards others. You know very well that everyone is aware of the scandal you are currently dealing with.

You excuse yourself from the washroom and Hongjoong notices you stepping away in another direction. He called out your name and asked where you were off to but you didn't reply or turned back.

All the members were gathered in front of their room to enter but when they saw their leader---the captain was standing in front of the door and looking in a particular direction. They all looked towards your fading figure into the hallway.

"Where is she going now?" San asked the captain but quickly noticed the anger on his face.

Hongjoong slammed open the door and others followed him inside the room, "I don't know. She didn't reply to me when I asked her. She is really becoming stubborn."

"What's her problem? Isn't she acting so childish all the time?" Mingi slumped down on a cushioned chair and closed his eyes when placing himself comfortably.

Jongho shook his head while removing the mic and earpiece from around his neck and placing it on the wide desk in front of the mirror. "What about the updates on her scandal? The way she is sneaking around here and there, I feel like believing those are not just scandals."

"No. I don't think that's possible. I don't see a sign from her taking any drugs." Seonghwa stated and looked at the leader who was leaning against the wall after removing all the unnecessary items from him. When he caught his eyes, the one standing sighed.

"But she didn't even deny it." Hongjoong said and raised a brow.

Yeosang nodded and spoke up, earning others attention to his words,"When the manager asked her to explain the matter she remained silent and was staring down as if she was high on drugs. Even when the company tried to answer the question about her on the internet, she refused to make a statement."

Some of them nodded and others had confusion visible on their faces.

Wooyoung pointed at your bag beside his and asked, "why did she bring this bag again?" He lifted the bag and found it to be the same bag which you're carrying everywhere, "it seems like she has a lot of stuff inside it."

"Open it." Hongjoong orders the younger one but he hesitated to the command. "I said open it. I am asking you for it and she has no say in this."

"But it's a girl's bag."

"Don't act like we don't stay together. Even if I ask her about bringing this bag, she won't reply. And if something inappropriate is there then we would apologize to her later."

The younger nodded but before he could open the bag. The manager entered. Hongjoong signaled to put the bag down.

It was always a bit challenging for you to be in a group where you are the only female member. All the fans accepted you very willingly and gave you lots of love on the day when it was announced you would be the last member of the debut line. Yeah, the competition had always included the five girls with the boys but you didn't expect back then to be in the lineup of the final showdown. As you were very sure of Minnie to be debuting with them. Her talents and looks are always remarkable and you admired her dance moves and vocals so much. And, you're sure others loved her more than you. They have a strong friendship with her even after her debuting in a different group 'Stray Kids'.

But your members never made you feel left out or different for being a girl. At first they were a bit hesitant to have you as the member but gradually you all became close and had so much fun together during the first MV shooting. Your debut was memorable with you all traveling to a different country and experiencing several new things.

Moreover, your members treated you like the baby of the group. They pampered you so much and of course, they won't leave a chance to annoy the shit out of you. You felt closer with Jongho because he was around your age so you were always paired up with him. And that's how the deep friendship started between you both.

Ateez are very close with Stray Kids and for that you all often meet them to dine out and hang out on off schedule days and after encore and promotion stages. You loved Minho's company a lot because you both clicked together perfectly. But there was something you noticed: San doesn't like you spending time with Stray Kids and sometimes, he and the others often drag you away with your members telling them that they need to hurry back to the dorm because something urgent came up. Only for you to get scolded later by Hongjoong that being so friendly with others would lead you to get into a lot of scandals.

What about them?

They often can be seen talking with Minnie after the performances or concerts and even two or three of them hanging out with her. Did you ever say anything? No. Then how come the dating rules only apply to you? You had enough one day and screamed at her and them, telling them that because of her Ateez would soon be under controversy but she quickly apologized to you and cried to them.

That was not the end. Because of her Hongjoong treated you really badly. He and other members used harsh words on you and others supported him on the fact that you had overreacted for no reason. They really started to go out alone without you - you were already used to it. But after the incident, they purposely made you feel left out. That didn't even stop them being friendly with her. They even did the new dance challenge with her and the way she was leaning on Seonghwa's arm made you glare at the video longer until the manager announced the practice time.

All these struggles really made you exhausted day by day and it's even showing in your performances and interaction with others. One afternoon, you were in the middle of the preparation for the comeback when you suddenly got to know about something trending under your name on all social media platforms.

'Is y/n really taking drugs?'

And the comments under the post - some supporting your side saying it's fake but you were shocked to see the amount of people believing the post and making strong comments that your recent appearances do look like you are under its effects. You ignored the news, you ignored everyone. You thought about the trainee days and then after debuting. You had lots of fun with Ateez. There are a lot of good memories and there are a lot more than just memories which couldn't be revealed everywhere. You tried to talk with others but never had the courage so you kept everything to yourself. Whenever you were asked to clarify on this matter, you remained silent.

One day, finally you had a talk session with your manager to discuss the ongoing situation. Many of your fans went against you and you accepted their opinions because you didn't make any strong denial statement on it so it's obvious for people to suspect you. You are being a bad influence on the industry.

"Are you sure about this?" the manager had concern and worry etched across her face but you just nodded and sighed when she kept staring at you.

"I don't want to change my mind. I have come up with this decision after thinking a lot."

She opened a file on her tablet before passing it to you to read, "read this. And, what about them? This is a big decision so please think carefully."

"I know."

"Will you be fine after this? People might blame you more."

"I don't have any other option. Even if I have, this is the only thing that seems right to me right now."

She just nodded in acceptance.

.

.

.

As the manager entered the room, she noticed Wooyoung placing your bag down to the side of the chair. Hongjoong stepped forward to greet her and she sent a quick smile to everyone present in the room, also noticing your absence there.

"You all don't have any more upcoming schedules this week so hurry up, we have to leave for the dorm. You guys look so tired. You all didn't got enough rest the last few days." She announced and stared at Hongjoong who seemed to want to ask her something.

"Do you want to say something?"

He nodded, "Y/n is not here since we came back from the stage. She went towards the stairs and I asked her but she seemed a bit lost. Where is she? Do you know about it?"

She sighed, "she is probably in the restroom, don't worry."

"Before the day of the comeback, she had a talk with you. What did she tell?" Seonghwa asked, who was now wearing a black t-shirt with just a washed face. He wasn't wearing his stage outfit anymore.

"You all will get to know about it tomorrow morning."

"What is it that you can't tell us now?" San asked her curiously.

She shook her head, "it's not like that. I can tell you but she doesn't want me to tell you. Don't get your hopes up. Just know it's nothing good." She handed over the food bag to them so that they could feed themselves inside the van while going back home. She asked the last two members to quickly change into a comfortable outfit and took your outfit to the restroom.

.

.

As soon as she handed you the outfit, you thanked her and asked her to wait outside. Changing into the comfortable soft fabrics made you sigh in relief. But you felt tears welling up in your eyes while staring down at the mic, earpiece and the stage outfit in your hand. A lot of emotions coursing through you but your mind was only focusing on the fact - this was your last stage performance.

You wiped your tears and put on a fake smile before exiting the door. the manager took the things from your hands but before you could step forward, she grabbed your wrist and looked at your face, scanning the smudged eyeshadow and liner. You were crying and she caressed your hand.

"Y/n, you are not okay with this. Please, I would suggest that you change your mind."

You shook your head before removing her hand. "Trust me. I will be okay without all of these problems." She watched your retreating figure until you took a sharp turn.

When you reached the door of the private room, it was expected to hear their loud laugh or them having weird singing competitions that could be heard from outside. But now, it's so quiet. Are they that tired? Or did they already leave for the dorm without you? That's not possible, the car was for you nine so it won't leave until nine of you have entered it.

You tightly held the handle before pushing the door open only to find them gathered around the couch but staring at you. You noticed Wooyoung holding a bag at the end of the couch.

A bag, wait, your bag. No!

You hurriedly went over to the couch to find it was your bag and the things were already scattered on it. You tried to pull the bag from his hold until Yeosang grabbed your wrist and turned you around.

"What is this?" he asked you in a demanding tone.

You licked your lips before prying his hand off from your wrist, "nothing. you don't have to know." You snatched the bag, "and why did you even touch my bag without my permission?"

"Since when are we asking each other to touch our things?" Yunho asked and got up from the chair to make his way towards you. You tried to pick up the things and place them inside the bag but Hongjoong blocked your hand and signaled Mingi to take the things away from you. The tall man finally stood in front of you, "and you better explain what all these boxes are for?"

"Nothing..."

Yunho exhaled sharply and grabbed your biceps tightly, "Y/n, what are you hiding from us? what is it that you can't tell us?"

Mingi was glancing between you and the things which he was putting inside the bag. Seonghwa stood beside the man holding you and stared at you sharply, "are these the drugs?"

"Please just shut up!" you screamed at them.

They slightly flinched at your sudden outburst but it was not noticeable by you as your teary eyes blurred your view. You put your palm over your ears and closed your eyes tightly.

"Please shut up. I can't hear any more of this. I know you don't trust me like before but please don't blame me every time. Because of me, this group is already under so much controversy and I'm really sorry for that."

You were going through a lot and having them all cornering you in the room, confined to a little space was too much.

San pushed Yunho so that he could hug your crying form, "It's okay, y/n. No one is blaming you. But why are there so many boxes containing various pills in your bag? You can tell me if those are distractions." he continuously rubbed your back.

You were crying in his hold, clutching his white t-shirt tightly. He didn't care that his fresh t-shirt was getting wet because of your tears when you were crying helplessly. It was breaking their heart to see you like this but what could they do. If you are doing something wrong then they must solve it and for that they need to talk to you but here you are not telling anything and always ignoring them since the incident happened between you and Minnie.

Realizing you were holding San tightly, you quickly removed his arms from around you and glared at him. Everyone observed your sudden change in mood and Hongjoong held your biceps to turn you towards him. At the tight hold you said harshly "let go of me."

"Y/n, enough. What's wrong with you suddenly?" His demanding tone was obvious and your glaring eyes didn't faze his expression. "Don't show me that look."

"Then leave me."

"Joong, leave her hand. We are all tired and we need to go to the dorm. We can ask her about this there." Seonghwa said calmly and placed his palm on the younger's shoulder. the latter sighed and you snatched your hand from him.

Everyone's eyes followed how disheveled you were looking while picking up your things and no one tried to stop you as you were all going to the same place after all. When you pulled the zip of your bag, Wooyoung stepped forward to offer you the food but you rejected it and went outside the room, slamming the door. They flinched at the loud noise but no one noticed your tears and emotions while exiting the private room backstage for the last time.

"I will be good without all of them." You have repeated this line to yourself a lot of times but still you felt the emotions to return back all over again.

Wiping your eyes, you raised your head only to find Minnie standing in front of you with folded hands and innocent eyes, the way she always looks at others. She was still wearing a faerie stage outfit and smiling at you. Ignoring her presence, you tried to turn around but her voice made you halt.

"Are you carrying those drugs in the bag again? So should I post it clearly that you are being spotted taking drugs?" she was smirking when you turned around.

"What are you saying?" You gripped the bag tightly when she glanced at it and chuckled. Stepping forward to you, her smirk grew wider, "it was me who posted that about you. and even if you say this to anyone, no one is going to believe you."

"It was...you." you watched her in disbelief when she lightly laughed and twirled a strand of hair between her delicate thin fingers. She pouted and blinked at you, "you shouted at me in front of them so I had to take my revenge."

"And it's just-"

"It hurts my pride." She made a disgusted face at you and bumped against your shoulder, "well, thank me for not doing something else but....I just ruined your career. Goodbye!"

You saw her walking like on a cat walk towards the corridor and smiling innocently to everyone in her way. She turned a little and smirked at you before taking a turn leaving you there in shock.

"Y/n...you're still here." You heard Jongho's voice and then saw others exiting the room but before they could ask you something, you ran towards the elevator and fortunately it just opened for the staff members queuing in front of it and you got inside with them. They were all glancing at you because of your weird behavior and you being alone with a sad look.

As soon as the ding sound indicated the arrival to the ground floor, you wasted no time and speedily walked towards the car. You got inside and sat in the far back, waiting for others to come.

.

.

After they got into the car, they found you sleeping peacefully at the back. "She is sleeping." Yunho told others and placed your head on his shoulder while adjusting in the seat beside you.

"Let her sleep. She is extremely tired." Hongjoong said and scolded Wooyoung who was about to say something loudly.

Seonghwa shook his head, "but she has to eat."

"I will feed her after we reach home. Leave her for a while. Let's not ask her anything more today." Yeosang started and closed his eyes while leaning back.

Yunho kept stroking your head so that you don't wake up and he felt you nuzzling into him and he smiled while looking down at you.

>>>><<<<

You stretched your arms, you heard their voices coming from a distance. You groaned and rubbed your eyes. Your body was aching so bad that you felt like going back to sleep again. But then you remembered your plans for this night.

You got up and stepped outside the room, their voices were coming from the living room and when some of them caught your sleepy figure entering the room they sent a smile towards you.

"Y/n come eat with me. Others have already had their dinner and I will accompany you while the rest keep doing whatever they do at the moment." Yeosang called you from the table and patted the chair beside him. You were hungry but you didn't feel like eating anything because of all the emotions you had inside.

Is my decision okay?

You shook off the feeling and walked towards the table. Some returned back to discuss the topic they were busy with and the youngest of the two joined you both at the table.

"So, as we don't have a schedule this week. How about we go on a trip somewhere?" Wooyoung suggested and Yeosang nodded before urging to start eating.

Your heart ached when you heard the joy in his voice and how they were planning for the week.

"But can we not spend time inside the dorm? I don't feel like going out." Jongho whined.

"What do you say, y/n?" Yeosang asked and you glanced at him to your side but remained silent.

He shared a glance with Wooyoung before the younger one spoke up: "Hey! Do you want to stay inside or go out? We will decide after what you say."

"I......whatever you all will agree on." You mumbled softly.

"But-"

"I said whatever you guys will agree on! It doesn't matter what I say. You all will be off on your own." You stood up from the table and took deep breaths, "have fun without me. Whatever you guys do, enjoy yourself and live a happy life."

"Y/n...if-"

"Yeo I don't want to hear anything. I'm going to sleep. Goodnight."

The moment you had to pass the couch where others were sitting but their attention was on you after you shouted at the table, Mingi grabbed your hand, "Are you okay?"

You glanced at the grip and to the others.

"You all are always meant for each other. The eight of you are soulmates and I'm just an extra character who acted as a villain in the group and destroyed your success with my scandal."

Hongjoong stood up, "Don't think like that. We can sort this out together."

"No. People already hate me for this and even if I try to claim myself innocent then all the fame I have already lost is never coming back. I'll still receive more hate. It wouldn't have happened if you guys really cared for me." You whispered the last line.

San scratched his neck and spoke up, "But you have us. Even if they hate you, we will show them that you are the best."

"But you don't have me. I can't do anything in return so it's better for me to move away from the scene so that you don't have a problem on your way to success. There's still a long way to go and I can't stop you all from that."

Seonghwa shook his head, "You are not stopping us. You keep us motivated, Y/n. You'll always be with us like the final missing piece of the puzzle."

"Sometimes there's an extra piece to distract you and confuse you and I'm that extra piece. You are already complete without me."

"Why are you thinking like this?" Mingi asked you softly.

"Because you all made me feel like this." You sighed and turned back but before stepping forward, you said loudly, "Just remember that even if I'm not with you all in this journey you all will move forward and achieve everything. You deserve a lot and on top of that, be happy. Don't let yourself fall apart because of a missing piece."

Your quick steps led you to your room and you fell on your bed. Cries getting muffled by the sheet and you pushed your face into it more. When you were saying those words earlier, you stood strong but deep down, your heart was heavy.

Time passed and you didn't realize when you fell asleep. A figure stepped inside your room, he smiled at your sleeping figure, his dimples peeking out even in the dark and his sharp eyes staring at you softly. He adjusted your body to a comfortable position and pulled you closer to him, lulling you to sleep. You mumbled something in your sleep and he smiled and patted your head. Soon, he fell asleep with you in his arms.

Now, this is the secret that nobody knows yet. You're dating all of them. Since the day of the debut you all found comfort in each other's arms. This can't be mentioned in the public media and nothing can be obvious if you are really dating one of them - let alone all of them. They're always so protective and showered you with love, making your heart warm and a wide smile visible on your face.

In many shows and interviews, you've referred to them as your strongest pillars of life and that you would be always thankful to them for being with you.

But lately it turned into a disaster after you all met her again after a year at the show when Minnie introduced herself to them and they became friends quickly. You didn't mind the friendship at first but when they started to blame you on whatever she tells them, they started pointing out her right proving you wrong in every aspect.

She really had to destroy your career---even your relationship with them.

<<<<<<>>>>>>

"You are here?" Yunho yawned while nodding his head and rubbed his eyes while making his way towards the table after greeting the leader. "I thought you're the one sleeping with her."

Yunho shook his head before gulping down the water, "No. San told me that he wanted to sleep with her." Hongjoong nodded and turned his attention back to the food on the table.

The rest of them soon started to gather around in the living room. Wooyoung saw San coming last into the wide space but all alone. He creased his brows and asked him, "Isn't she coming for breakfast?" He put down the plate on the table.

"It'll soon be lunch time." Jongho said and laughed. Yeah, it's true that they woke up so late that they have passed the morning and it's already noon but they're still preparing breakfast.

San, who was still rubbing his eyes, looked at him and then around the room, "She isn't here?"

"No..."

"When I woke up, she was not in the bed."

Hongjoong stood up and took the phone in his hand before watching everyone in confusion,

"Did she tell any of you where she is going today? Does she have something to do?"

He dialed your number but the line was dead.

Mingi skipped to your room to see if you had left any sticky note but nothing was there. Wait. Not even your things were there. Only a few items were there but the photo frames with a few boxes were missing too. He went back into the living room to inform the others about it. They were so lost and confused about the situation when suddenly the doorbell rang.

Jongho quickly opened it to be greeted by their manager whose appearance was more serious than usual. She walked inside and looked at everyone before sighing and sitting on the chair near her, "Have you checked your phones?"

When they shook their heads and told her that they had just woken up. She turned her phone screen around to take a look at it.

'Y/n, the member of Ateez is leaving the group...'

San snatched the phone from her hand and scrolled down the whole post only to find out the news was announced by their own company and there was also an apology letter from your side posted. So many things happened just in the morning.

"What is this? Where is she?" Hongjoong demanded a clarification of this situation from her but she only shook her head before brushing some strands of hair back.

"She has already left the place. These past few days, you were busy and didn't notice her preparing for this day so I was there to help her collect everything. I tried to change her decision, make her understand but she had already lost hope in this. She was so disturbed with the whole scandal and all."

"Can't we contact her?" Wooyoung asked her while tears were threatening to fall from his eyes.

"No. Your company has banned you from having any contact with a former member. I don't think it's good for your image."

"I don't care about my image. I want her back. How can she leave the group? And she didn't tell us anything about this the whole time..."

Seonghwa looked at the leader and sighed, "That's why she was saying things like that last night."

And now, they realized how they have ignored you all these past months just to believe that girl whom they had befriended and trusted so much that they doubted you on taking drugs and being jealous of others too much.

But their career can't be stopped here. They need to move forward on this journey - even if that means with a missing piece in their group.

>>>><<<<

[2 years later]

"8 makes 1 team...Hello we are Ateez."

The whole audience in the arena cheered. Ateez with wide smiles and sparkling eyes were watching their fans from overseas greeting them by shouting out their names. They felt so loved at that moment that they forgot the pain inside their heart, not getting to be loved by you anymore.

They love their fans a lot but your love was the precious one and when Yeosang realized that you were not there beside him in the choreography, tears fell from his eyes. It's already been 2 years but still everytime he cries during this step where you are no longer smiling while spinning with him in the center.

The concert went for two hours and they quickly changed into some casual wear afterwards and decided on takeout for the day.

The next day, at night they planned to stroll around the city and take in the view of the new place overseas and enjoy the place. They were not given any schedules for the vlog so they were free to roam around.

"I have seen this place just across the street that has a good variety of foods. Let's try it out." Yunho stated his search for this place and others agreed quickly.

All of them entered the big glass door of the restaurant and eyes roaming around in appreciation of the new place. The things decorating the tables, shelves and each corner with the soft melody of the overflowing music with the right amount of warmth and light were a perfect setting. Many customers turned towards them, a table with four girls recognized them but the rest just watched them curiously as they were standing awkwardly until a waiter offered them a helping hand.

They opted for a table at the very end as it was a bit away from the other tables and a bit hidden by a wooden rack.

They all settled down and the waiter waited for them to order. After a lot of complaints, whines, bickers and scolding, they had decided on the menu to be ordered finally.

For the time being, they were waiting for the food to arrive. They gossiped on a lot of stuff, few scrolling through Instagram and taking aesthetic pictures of the place but they don't forget to see any update from your private account. nothing. Jongho sighed and switched off his phone.

"Here is the food!" A cheerful voice made them look up at the person with two others trailing behind her. The girl didn't look at their faces but the eight boys from around the table were staring at her. she was joking with the girl beside her while placing all the bowls down the table. the other two left her when she turned around, "is there some-"

her voice got lost in her throat when she finally locked eyes with the ones watching her intently.

"y/n. you are here."

oh. they're having tours in this country. you're so busy these past few days that you didn't notice that they have announced the tour dates. yeah, even if you have left the group and moved away to a different country, you keep yourself updated with them.

you just can't get over them and this kills you inside.

"uh...um...congratulations on the comeback."

"Why did you leave the group? You don't even contact any of us." Hongjoong asked you from just the opposite direction from where you were standing.

"Isn't it obvious that I left the group not to keep in touch with you all?"

"But why?"

"Now your group is free from scandals and under no controversy. You all are having comebacks and your fans even forgot about me and giving you all the love you guys deserve. So what's the point of me being there." You chuckled in an unamused way.

Wooyoung stood up and suddenly hugged you catching you off guard, "you don't know how much we missed you. Everyday we thought that you'll call one of us or will show up to the front door. But you totally disappeared."

"It hurt us, baby. It hurts to not wake up to your side. It hurts not to see your smiling face and you walking around the dorm. Heck! I watched all the videos of you to hear your voice." San bit his lip to prevent himself from crying.

It hurts me too...

You just curled your fingers, wanting them to stop or you might break down in front of them. You thought after joining at your friend's restaurant that you won't ever come across your past life but who knew after two years here, you would be facing them again.

Licking your lips, you pushed Wooyoung off from you and eyed him before turning to them, "but you all became used to ignoring me then why suddenly you all are acting like this."

"No it's not like that."

"Really Mingi? Are you sure you're not the person who blamed me that for me all your hard work will be gone."

The chatters around the place increased with the entry of some more customers. Little did you know, your friend noticed the current situation you were in and she told other workers to take your place and not mind anything at the end table.

Jongho glared at Mingi but still he also knew that the news got them all shattered because it was their first accusation after the debut and they knew very well the cause of any controversy regarding a group. They all feared for their dreams to be crashing down.

But they were also worried for you. They all asked you about it but you're not the outspoken type and you remained silent and refused to talk to anyone. You distanced yourself from them when they hinted their anger towards you and it really scared you.

and that girl Minnie really played her wicked games with them at their weakest moment. "I'm sorry. Please forgive us for not being there for you. We-"

"Jongho, there's nothing to forgive or forget. I had some great memories with you all and I loved every moment but for me I don't want someone's dreams to end."

You weakly smiled at them.

"But what about you? How are you?" Seonghwa asked you while he approached you and held your hands in his, he caressed the soft skin and stared down.

"Honestly, I don't even know about myself. I'm totally living a different life. People don't recognize me after dying my hair and not wearing makeup and I don't come out often to serve the customers but unfortunately today I did and...."

"And what about the......drugs?"

"Joong-"

"It's okay Hwa. He is just obeying his rules being a leader." You bit your lip when retreating the hand from the hold, "those boxes in my bag were not drugs. Those were my anxiety pills. I used label-less boxes so that people won't know about my problems but that only led to some bigger problems."

Yunho stepped forward, "you had anxiety?" You nodded.

"What caused you this? I swear y/n tell me what happened to have this happen?" He was furious and you watched his impatient hand brushed his hair back.

"Yunho.....it's you guys. You all did this to me." After voicing out the words, you stared at them blankly.

"Us?" Yeosang asked you but also to himself.

"The ignorance. The blames and accusations adding up to the online comments on my posts were stressing me out and I had a consultation with my family psychiatrist." You sighed at the end of the sentence.

San suddenly asked you, "what about your dreams, y/n? You shared so many things with me with us. You planned a whole future with us. What about that?"

"I really wanted to spend my whole life with you all. To create so many memories together but I think those will just remain as dreams because of the rumors. Even if I want to get back. I won't because it would hamper your future and dream."

"But who spread the rumors on drugs?" Hongjoong sat down and held his head.

"It's-... it's..." you bit your lips and proceeded, "it's nothing. You don't have to worry about it now. I'm out of this whole thing and you are all free from all controversial posts."

You tried to smile but the tears falling from your eyes betrayed you.

"You are not coming back to us?" Yunho held your hand, he held it so dearly as if you were a delicate person. He didn't want to let it go but still somewhere in your eyes he saw the distance between you both.

There was no sign of love from you.

"No."

Jongho came in front of your view, "but please we need you. It's no more the same feelings without you. There's really a missing piece in our life." He gulped the lump of sadness and continued, "and, It's you, y/n."

"No you are a perfect team even without me. Eight makes a perfect team like you." You looked over all of them.

"And nine makes the perfect family." Seonghwa said in a hushed voice.

You shook your head, "then work on your teamwork and make it a family. I hope you will find a better girl for yourselves."

Wooyoung pushed aside Seonghwa and cupped your cheek and Hongjoong just stood behind him, watching you keenly.

"Please, y/n don't do this to me. I got to see you after two years and...and just for you to say leave me again?"

"Woo, people might be watching."

"I don't care."

"But I care. I have to work unlike you who will go back to your country after the tour ends. I have to stay back here and face these customers again and if somehow this scene got to the media then it'll be a new situation to handle. Please, I beg you. I don't want to be in a similar situation again."

You inhaled and continued, "and this time it won't be because of me but because of you. So stop before anything happens again."

" but you can stay with us. We can move out from the dorm and stay somewhere else. Also, you don't have to be with us for the sake of being a group member but as our girlfriend." Hongjoong said the words very precisely but you just laughed at him.

"You have lost the right to call me that way before. Don't say that word again. I hate it. I don't want to stay with any of you."

"But-"

"The food is getting cold. They worked hard in preparing this."

San held your hand when you stepped back, "At Least eat with us. Last time, you didn't even eat properly with us."

"Y/n, I miss you a lot." Yeosang looked at you with a longing feeling but you just ignored it.

I miss you all too...

And I know I shouldn't...

You took deep breaths, "I'm telling this to all of you. And it's my final wish to you so please kindly keep it. Just forget about me. You all have a long way to go to achieve success. Don't get stuck in the past. Pretend I never met you all. I was never a part of your life."

San gripped your wrist tighter.

Hongjoong said in a low voice, "this is impossible for us to do. How can we forget you? How can we forget all the memories of us?"

You stared at the grip and glanced at his face. He had changed a lot in these two years and the maturity in his voice and demeanor was visible.

He stared at you helplessly and waited for your response. You removed the grip and turned around.

"Enjoy the meal!"

How can they just eat now? They all have lost their appetite after this and the way you didn't even turn back to them for the last time left them staring at your direction until you disappeared behind the door beside the desk.

You entered the door and tears slid down your cheek and whispered to yourself, "pretend I was just a missing piece of your dream."

[I just realized that I don't know how to write 9th member aus like what did I write here. It could have been better but still I tried so appreciate me🥹]

Taglist: @mymoodwriting @justhere4kpop @anyamaris @yeoobin @icchyi @jwnghyuns @piratequeen-queenofgames @dinonuguaegi @oreharuuu @hwanring @sanwifesstuff @kiwiisnthereoops @kiwiraccoon @hyuukah @kazscara @aceofspadesbiofalltrades @nvdhrzn @meowmeeps @vtyb23 @haechansbbg

[open!]

[yanaleese]

Hello, I am from Gaza, due to the shortage of medicine in Gaza, my mother who is a type 1 diabetic and was supposed to undergo urgent eye surgery, has not been able to get insulin or any medical care for the past three months. . Some members of my family fled to the southernmost part of Gaza (Rafah) in tents. But my parents and sisters have nowhere else to stay. They are forced to stay in the Nuseirat refugee camp, which has been bombed since the beginning of Christmas. "I am on my knees asking for your donations. Please help me. where you can.

Goal: $700

Thank goodness I double checked your account and found @kyra45 (🥰🥰🥰) 's account to realize what a FUCKING SCAMMER you are. How FUCKING DARE YOU exploit the goodwill of the Palestinian people and their situation.

The only credit I will give to you is showing up in my asks. That way I can expose how much of an ASSHOLE you are to beg for money in this fashion, and spread awareness of this level of shitfuckery you are disgustingly apart of.

So you know what? GET FUCKED!!! 🖕. I'm tagging all the people that reblogged your post.

So those tagged here, kindly asking if you can take your reblog down, and reblog that this is a scam instead: @nismo-boy1999 , @smalloffensiveneedles , @omniscientraisinn , @foolishfynnesse , @itsalice3940 , @rottn-awareness , @alex-the-mediocre , @salad-says-hi , @lqvhss

As for my wonderful followers, remember to donate to legitimate links such as this post and this post (if you cannot donate, all you have to do is click).

Once again, shout out to kyra45 for doing God's work. Thank you for doing what you're doing.

And @yanteetle (🥰🥰🥰) , apologies for @ing you, but since you're spreading Palestinian content I'm asking you and your followers to be on the lookout.

From the river to the sea, Palestine will be free!!! 🇵🇸🇵🇸🇵🇸

[deliciousangelfestival]

The Lady - 4

Character: Bucky Barnes x Female Reader, Eddie Horniman x Female Reader

Summary: After fifteen years away, a step-daughter returns for her Duke step-father's funeral, only to inherit a staggering 8 million pound debt and strike a risky deal with a criminal underworld figure.

Main Masterlist || support: Ko-fi

Chap 1, Chap 2, Chap 3 , Chap 4 , Chap 5 , Chap 6 , -

Your ongoing support means the world to me! Reblogs are a fantastic way to help spread the word about my work. I'll do my best to reply to all your comments.

Thank you for your continued encouragement! ❤️❤️❤️

After a half-hearted attempt to watch the tennis tournament, you, Hugo, and Eddie retreated for afternoon tea.

"Me? The criminal organization in this country want me?" you asked incredulously.

Eddie nodded, casually adding sugar to his tea, with Hugo mimicking his actions. "They're still trying to figure out who you are. They won't ask Barnes since they despise him. They've made inquiries, but your identity remains a mystery to them, given your recent arrival."

"What about you, Eddie?" you inquired.

Eddie raised an eyebrow, a smile playing at the corners of his lips as he sipped his tea. "Hmm?"

"Why didn't you expose me to them?" you clarified.

Eddie set down his cup, meeting your gaze directly. "And let them exploit your expertise? You're too valuable for that, my dear."

The endearment caught you off guard, evoking memories of summers spent at Manor with Eddie's parents, particularly his mother, who often referred to you as "My Dear" during afternoon tea. But when Eddie used the term, it carried a different weight.

Eddie continued, "I faced a similar situation last year. This organization is far more dangerous than most people realize, even those at the UN dealing with cross-border issues."

"True," you agreed, contemplating the chaos of the criminal underworld. "The real zoo is here. But what about your organization?"

"My cannabis business remains neutral in conflicts," Eddie explained. "Even in our silence, there are those who seek to undermine us."

He paused, then offered, "If you want to join forces, you could. You could easily settle the debt."

The air hung heavy with the implications of his proposition, the tension palpable as you considered the possibilities.

"No," you interjected firmly.

Hugo finally joined the conversation, shooting Eddie a defiant glare. "My dad paid a high price to cut ties with cannabis."

You were surprised by Hugo's sudden assertiveness, especially considering his awareness of Rupert's dealings.

Eddie chuckled, unfazed by Hugo's challenge. "I could see you as a Duke in the future."

But before the tension could escalate further, another voice cut in, catching you off guard.

"Well, well, what do we have here? Are you cheating on me in broad daylight?"

You tensed at the sound of Bucky's voice, turning to find him standing beside your table, impeccably dressed in Ralph Lauren, his smirk as infuriating as ever.

"Can't I have a day without seeing your face?" you retorted, unable to hide your irritation.

Bucky feigned injury, clutching his chest dramatically. "Ouch."

Eddie intervened, his tone dripping with sarcasm. "What are you doing here, Barnes?"

"I wanted to try tea time. Felt like a royal for a change, but the cake tasted like shit," Bucky quipped, oblivious to the disapproving looks from nearby tables and the waitress.

"Well, I just wanted to say hello and meet the Duke of Horniman. Say hi from me to Bobby Glass, will you?" Bucky continued, his smirk never faltering.

Eddie's smile turned sour. "I won't."

"Great," Bucky replied casually, turning his attention to you. "Wait for my call, Your Grace."

You responded with a curt, "Fuck off."

Hugo nearly choked on his drink at your blunt retort, while Eddie struggled to contain his laughter.

Unfazed by your harsh words, Bucky simply bowed and took his leave.

Eddie glanced at you, his expression sympathetic. "I can see what you're dealing with."

As you drove back to the manor with Hugo, his voice interrupted the tense atmosphere inside the car. "Can we switch our ride?"

You glanced at him, raising an eyebrow. "What's wrong with this one?"

Hugo's enthusiasm was palpable as he explained, "My buddies have got green cars, red cars, even yellow ones. And get this - their car doors pop up like wings when they open!"

You couldn't help but chuckle at his excitement. Seeing him like this, he seemed more like a kid dreaming of his favorite toy.

If Rupert weren't neck-deep in debt, you'd have no qualms about splurging on Hugo's dream car. But for now, you couldn't bear to crush his hopes. "Yeah, sure. Once we're done here, we'll get you one."

As you drove back to the manor with Hugo, you delved into a conversation about Rupert's work.

"You know a little about Rupert's work?" you inquired, curious about your stepfather's business.

Hugo nodded thoughtfully. "All I know is, dad wanted to quit the cannabis business because of Charles."

His mention of Charles brought a warning to mind. "Don't ask anything about weed with Bro Charles," he cautioned.

"Why?" you asked, intrigued by the sudden seriousness in Hugo's tone.

Hugo shook his head solemnly. "Ask Mom or Charlotte."

"Fine," you conceded, understanding the need for caution.

Upon your return to Evergreen Manor, you inquired about your mother's whereabouts from the butler. Learning that Susan was out shopping with friends, you sighed in frustration. With no one else to turn to, you realized you would have to seek answers from Charlotte.

Entering the living room, you spotted Charlotte engaged in a live conversation with her followers. It was clear she was preoccupied. "This will take a while," you muttered to yourself, bracing for what lay ahead.

Four hours later, Charlotte's hostility lingered as she addressed your inability to come to a conclusion on your own.

"Can't you figure it out on your own?" she snapped, arms crossed tightly as if she couldn't bear to share the same air as you.

You sighed, bracing yourself for another round of her disdain. "No, I can't. I've been out of touch with everyone for the past 15 years," you admitted, resigned to the reality of your isolation.

Rolling her eyes in exasperation, Charlotte gestured for you to follow her. You trailed behind her to the barns, where an out-of-place container caught your eye.

As Charlotte swung the door open, a wave of nausea washed over you as the unmistakable scent of weed filled the air.

"Weed," you muttered, the pieces of the puzzle slowly falling into place.

"Dad was making extra money with this, but he wanted out because of Charles," Charlotte explained, her voice tinged with bitterness.

"Why?" you pressed, eager to understand the full extent of the situation.

Charlotte remained silent for a moment, her expression guarded. "This is why you should at least read the emails that Mom sent you, even if you don't want to reply," she scolded.

Her words struck a chord, and you listened intently as she revealed the shocking truth. "Charles overdosed," she continued, her voice heavy with emotion. "We almost lost him. The doctors said he was brain dead. It's truly a miracle that Charles could come back alive. That's the reason why he became a priest."

The revelation left you speechless, your ignorance laid bare before you. "I had no idea," you whispered, grappling with the weight of the revelation.

"But now you know," Charlotte replied, her tone softer. "And you understand why my dad cut off all contact with anything related to drugs."

Charlotte's words hit you like a punch to the gut, stirring up a whirlwind of emotions within you.

"What did you say?" you demanded, your voice tinged with disbelief.

"If you never came here, none of this would have happened," Charlotte muttered, her gaze heavy with accusation.

You bristled at her insinuation. "None of that is my fault," you retorted, feeling the weight of her words bearing down on you.

Charlotte's voice was laced with bitterness as she continued, "Your existence changed Charles."

You recoiled at the truth of her words, the realization hitting you like a ton of bricks. Charles's feelings for you had always been a taboo topic, one you never dared to confront. It explained so much—the distance, the tension, the unspoken truths that lingered between you and your family.

You couldn't help but feel a pang of guilt, even though you knew deep down that you were not to blame. "I didn't even ask to be born," you muttered, a bitter reminder of the unfair hand life had dealt you.

The tension crackled in the air as you and Charlotte locked gazes, each refusing to back down from the confrontation.

"You can't blame me for Charles's choices," you snapped, your frustration boiling over.

Charlotte's eyes flashed with resentment. "I'm not blaming you for his choices, I'm blaming you for existing!" she shot back, her words like daggers aimed at your heart.

Your jaw clenched as you struggled to contain your rising anger. "Well, I'm sorry if my existence inconveniences you so much," you retorted, your voice dripping with sarcasm.

"It's not just about inconvenience, it's about ruining lives!" Charlotte spat, her voice trembling with emotion.

"Ruining lives?" you scoffed, incredulous. "I didn't ask for any of this! I didn't ask to be the reason Charles spiraled out of control."

"Maybe not, but you're still the reason!" Charlotte's voice rose with every word, her frustration reaching its peak.

You took a step closer, your own anger boiling beneath the surface. "And what about me? What about the life I've had to live because of all this?"

Charlotte's expression softened slightly, a flicker of guilt crossing her features. "I know it's not fair to you either," she admitted, her voice barely above a whisper.

"Then stop blaming me for everything!" you pleaded, the weight of years of resentment and guilt bearing down on you.

"Stop it," Susan's voice cut through the tension, her breath heavy as she approached.

Both you and Charlotte halted, the argument stalling at Susan's arrival. She hurried over, concern etched on her face as she reached Charlotte, who appeared flushed.

"Are you alright?" Susan's voice was laced with worry as she checked on her daughter.

You felt a pang of resentment, knowing that despite being her biological child, Susan often treated Charlotte as her own. It stung, a constant reminder of your place in the family hierarchy.

As Susan tended to Charlotte, you clenched your fists, a surge of frustration coursing through you. You turned away, unable to bear the sight any longer.

Walking away, you pulled out your phone, dialing a number with shaky fingers. "Where are you?"

Inside the car, you and Bucky sat side by side, watching the second target intently. The bomb had already been discreetly placed under the car, and now it was just a matter of waiting.

Bucky's voice broke the silence, filled with genuine awe. "Damn, watching you do your thing is like watching Picasso paint."

You shrugged nonchalantly, trying to downplay your talent. "Yeah, turns out anger can make me completely focused."

Bucky let out a low whistle, his admiration evident. "Well, color me impressed, sweetheart."

As you both observed the target, a man stumbled out of the club, clearly inebriated. His drunken antics drew attention, and he shamelessly flirted with every girl he encountered, much to your disdain.

"What's the reason for him?" you inquired, unable to hide your distaste for the man's behavior.

Bucky's response was simple yet cryptic. "Someone just really hates him."

Moments later, the target climbed into his car, oblivious to the impending danger. Without hesitation, Bucky pressed the trigger.

'BANG' The explosion echoed through the night as the car erupted in flames, sending shockwaves through the surrounding area.

'KYAA!!'

The chaos erupted as the explosion sent shockwaves through the crowd, eliciting panicked screams from bystanders.

"Too bad the wedding will never happen," Bucky remarked casually, his tone laced with dark amusement.

Your heart sank at his words, a sense of dread settling over you. "Huh?" you muttered, struggling to comprehend the gravity of the situation.

Bucky's pointed gesture toward the burning car made everything click into place. "He's your step-sister's fiancé," he explained bluntly.

A wave of guilt washed over you as you realized the ramifications of your actions. You cursed your ignorance and lack of foresight.

In frustration, you turned on Bucky, your voice trembling with anger."Next time, how about a little warning before we go blowing up someone's bloody ride?"

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Author Note: Hey friends,

If you've been enjoying the content, I've set up a Ko-fi account.

Your support through tips would mean the world and help me keep creating.

Only if you feel like it!

Here's the link: Ko-fi

Thanks a bunch for being fabulous followers!

[friskishdrawings]

Charity Commissions 🇵🇸

Hello guys, it's been a while!

To cut to the chase: I would like to help spread both awareness and support for those suffering in the ongoing genocide in Palestine. So, in light of this, I will open up some commissions where rather than paying me, you simply provide proof of your donation.

I know this blog is mainly just for my art, but if I can use my art for any good I would like to do so. If you cannot donate, please reblog!

Here are some recommended links:

E-sims for Gaza: https://gazaesims.com  

Palestine children’s relief fund: PCRF

Women for women (hygiene kits, blankets, food): Urgent Support for Women in Palestine Women for Women International

Anera dignity kits: https://www.anera.org/stories/gaza-emergency-aid-includes-dignity-kits/

If you are Egyptian you can also donate to any of the organizations listed under the Instapay, Talabat, Fawry apps, or your bank app under their ‘donations’ services with the equivalent price in EGP (based on the bank rate). Just provide a screenshot.

Of course, if you yourself have a related link, such as another reliable charity organization or a go-fund me, that works as well. And of course, if you have any other links I can update this post with please let me know.

With any cause, please bear in mind there will be people of all sorts who will want to exploit people’s compassion. So please, if you are to donate to any organization, exercise some caution and do your research.

For a written list of the prices, the do/don'ts, and so on, please look under the read-more for more details!

How Does this Work?

Send me the idea you have and I will let you know if it’s good to go or if it’s not appropriate (or if I can’t do it due to time/work)

When you get the okay, I will ask for more details (references, colour schemes, poses, which charity you plan to donate to, etc.)

I will draw you a basic thumbnail for your confirmation (these are very vague sketches to just pinpoint the pose).

Once you confirm the pose, I will ask you to donate and I will get to work

Send me a screenshot of the e-mail confirming your donation (blur out/colour over any personal info!), or the “Thank you for your donation!” screen if there is no e-mail

You get your drawing in exchange!

NOTE: I will likely post them on my artblog and Instagram, so if you don’t want them posted there or would like to remain anonymous, please let me know! If you are fine with me posting them, please give me the handle/name you would like to be referred to as.

Also bear in mind I have a full-time job, so they might be a while! But you WILL get your commission.

HALF-BODY

$5-$9: Lineart $10-$14: Monotone $15-$19: Colours, flat $20-$24: Colours, shaded Above $25: Colours, shaded, with background

FULL-BODY

$10-$14: Lineart $15-$19: Monotone $20-$24: Colours, flat $25-$29: Colours, shaded Above $30: Colours, shaded, with background

Yes-es:

Fan art is fine (I won’t be getting any monetary profit from this)

Characters from original stories

Personas/self-inserts/fan characters/Tabletop RPG characters

Real!you, family members, friends, etc. (at the risk of them not looking like them at all :’D)

Animals (they might be a bit less cartoony as I'm not used to them but yes)

Personifications/anthropomorphic/strange creatures in general

Nos:

Not more than one character per commission

No discriminatory content

No religious figures, symbolism or content (I am Muslim so… Cannot Really Do That)

No extreme gore or suggestive themes, or characters from media that feature a lot of either (this is because my art blog is PG-13, and I’d rather not anything off-colour for a charity commission anyway)

No using these with AI or NFTs

Do not use for commercial purposes. These are for charity!

I reserve the right to decline your commission if I feel like you have insincere ulterior motives, or if an emergency comes up.

Generally, keep this PG-13/grandma-friendly!

Pleases:

References (preferably image based, but text is fine if there is no visual depiction/canon design)

Colour you associate with the character if monotone

Poses (just not lewd or rude)

Context (like description of their personality, what they like, their setting, etc.)

Ask first:

You are free to repost the artwork on another platform as long as you credit me as the artist. Absolutely use them if you need a picture for something like an RP account!

If from your original work, you may use them in non-commercial projects, just please credit me (and give me a heads up so I can go check it out! :D).

If an original character from an original story, you are free to use the artwork to help with things like visual development (let’s say, you are creating a game, comic or pilot, and you want a reference for the artists on your team to use), just once again give me a heads up and credit me as the artist.

If you've made it this far, and can't donate, thank you so much for your interest anyway. At the very least, this reached someone.

[mrs-snape5984]

“You’re so beautiful…”

“Just one look into your eyes, one look and I′m crying, ‘cause you’re so beautiful! Just one kiss and I'm alive, one kiss and I'm ready to die, ‘cause you’re so beautiful!” (“Beautiful” by HIM)

After some days of licking my wounds for getting the “ice cone of shame” onto my blog (I’m still not over this, tumblr, and it doesn’t help, that you’re ignoring my messages!!!), I decided to come back.

This blog is my baby, my comfort zone, my safety blanket. I’m using my blog as my personal journal, a platform to spread awareness about ME/CFS…and yes…also to vent about my life with my disability…grieving my old life.

I can’t say this often enough: Since I’m struggling with this goddamn disease (for 1,5 years now), there is not much left in my life, which gives me joy. I’m clinging to Severus as if I’d be drowning without him…like I’ve done it for 21 years, when times were getting rough.

But now, I’ve found something, that soothes my heart…something, that helps me coping with my pain…at least mentally. Do you want to know, what I’ve found? I found YOU… all you incredibly talented and kind artists of our wonderful Snape fandom!! My blog shall be my way of rolling out the red carpet for all of you, whose art is helping me to ease my troubled mind and heart.

Being tagged as explicit and inappropriate (yeah…sure, tumblr! 🙄) , made me feel so guilty towards all those lovely artists, which I wanted to honour by commissioning their art! But my beloved friend @vulnus-sanare encouraged me to keep on writing…keep on sharing my thoughts and these beautiful artwork, I’m commissioning. You know, I love you, my friend and I’m endlessly grateful for your support! 🖤🫂 (fly fly)

And of course, I want to thank all of you, who supported me as well by reblogging @vulnus-sanare ‘s post or by sending messages to tumblr! Let’s hope, that they will realise their mistake!

The art, I got tagged and transfigured into an ice cone for, was something very special, I requested from the brilliant @turpinsimp-blog, who helped me to find my inner curvy goddess again. That’s the reason, why I was so devastated, that my blog got flagged for these cropped and censored drawings. Their meaning is so personal to me! Fleur, you did a marvellous job with these pieces of art…and believe me, I’ll find a way to express my feelings with the help of your drawings! So, stay tuned, my dear!

Until then I’ll post this delightful artwork of yours, @turpinsimp-blog! This gift was a very heartwarming surprise, my precious friend. 🖤🥹 Thank you for each kind message, for each laughter with you and - of course - for your outstanding art!

🖤 Severus & Julia 🖤

[theguildawards]

We're All Fired Up!!

Hey everyone!

The Guild Awards are back for the first term of 2024! We hope everyone had a wonderful winter and holiday season! Thank you to those who participated last term for making it so enjoyable. We look forward to all the new fanfiction and fanart to be nominated for this term.

Shout out to @pencilofawesomeness for creating last term's banners! If you haven't received yours, please reach out to one of the mods asap!

Our roulette category for this term is Best Friendship Portrayal. This is defined as: Stories that depict platonic relationships among two or more characters. Must include which characters for the friendship in the nomination.

As a reminder, there is a Winner Ban in place. This means that once any piece of artwork or fanfiction has won an award for a category, it automatically becomes ineligible and cannot be nominated again for that category. However, it can be nominated for other categories after two consecutive terms have passed (ie: one year since that piece won) as long as it fits within that definition. We do not have a rule against nominating an author/artist back into the category they won for in the past, as long as its a different piece of work that is being nominated.

In addition, we are also going to have a mobile-friendly Google Doc with all current nominations listed. This will be updated as frequently as possible so you can be aware of all the nominations that have currently been reviewed and notified. Hopefully this will help everyone select their own nominations. You can access this doc here.

If it was not mentioned above, chances are it hasn’t changed. Please be aware that the moderators always take suggestions regarding how the awards are run and category changes into consideration. You can read up on the most recent FAQs, Rules of Eligibility, and Categories for more information. [these links are only available on desktop]

For ease of access, we also include a mobile-friendly Google Docs for the FAQs, Rules of Eligibility, and Categories that will be kept up-to-date each term, which can be viewed here.

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Please reblog and spread the word of the start of the new term!

[darkficsyouneveraskedfor]

Once Upon a Time 2

Warnings: non/dubcon and other dark elements. My username actually says you never asked for any of this.

Characters: Andy Barber

Part of the Bookstore AU

My warnings are not exhaustive but be aware this is a dark fic and may include potentially triggering topics. Please use your common sense when consuming content. I am not responsible for your decisions.

As usual, I would appreciate any and all feedback. I’m happy to once more go on this adventure with all of you! Thank you in advance for your comments and for reblogging.

That man is back. You see Andy’s gray jacket as he passes through the front doors. You shouldn't recognise it so easily.

You adeptly scurry behind the end of the bookshelf and hide. You know you shouldn’t do that, he’s a customer, but it’s the third time he’s been there in five days. You’re exhausted, not just of him but everything.

Only after his last visit did you realise he’s stopped asking for Pine. The shop owner has grown elusive and the managers bold in his absence. They barely walk the floor and leave you and the other associates to deal with truck and customers alike.

You hide up around the bestsellers and pretend to sort through the Top Picks shelf. As you do, your headset beeps and Chelsea calls your name over the line. She asks you to pop into the fiction. Great, she’s passing off another customer. All she does is scroll through her phone and drink her sugary lattes.

You hit the button and tell her you’ll be right there. You don’t need her yelling at another old woman. That cost you a store credit and a lot of stress. 

You head along the far wall and turn into the fiction section. You don’t see Chelsea but you find a familiar face nonetheless. Andy smiles and gives you a wave.

“There you are. Wasn’t sure you were working,” he greets as you approach wearily. Of course, it’s him. “I finished the last book so… actually, I don’t know if you watch it but I heard there were some books for that Bridgerton show. I just got into it– is that lame?”

He chatters a lot. He has a certain air to him. He can be charming but also seems to believe that everything he says is interesting. You wish he’d realise that to you he’s just another customer. The worst type; the sort that believes they’re your only one.

“I… I’ve seen the first episode but I haven’t been able to catch up,” you humour him, “we have the books. Some of the most popular sellers.”

You guide him down the aisle towards the spread of colourful covers. He follows and stops to peruse the title. He scratches his beard as he hums.

“Thanks, uh, I didn’t even ask,” he turns on you again, “how are you doing?”

You answer with your usual, the thoughtless, “good, and you?”

“Eh, long day at work. Figure I’d stop in on my lunch. Try to distract myself,” he undoes the top button of his coat, “toasty in here, huh?”

“I guess,” you shrug, “was there anything else you need help finding?”

“Uh, no, I don’t think so,” he deflates just slightly, “you’ll be around though, if I do?”

“Sure,” you answer as you repress a wave of agitation. 

You back away as he watches you, almost mournful. You assume he’s a little lonely. You hear divorce is rough. A bit sad to see. He’s probably twice your age and he makes you think of those guys who mope when you tell them not to grind on you in the club. You’re not much into that scene but every now and then Ginny talks you into it.

You see Chelsea a few shelves down. She has an airpod in and her headset dangling. You’re not surprised. Her acrylics tap on her phone as she paces blindly up and down. She won’t be much help.

You stop by the shelf of Garfield comics and fix the few books switched around. Customers tend to mess up more than they buy. The colourful books no doubt attracted children who didn’t know better than to leave chaos in their stead. That’s why you steer clear of the children’s section, even if the plushies are cute.

You spin back, wanting to head back up to best sellers but a tall figure appears from the end of a row. Andy waves at you again, several books against his left arm. He comes towards you as you reluctantly advance.

“Hey, uh, think I found what I need,” he announces, “I was looking at the online shop and you sell the little book lights?” He holds up his fingers to show the size, “they clip onto the page.”

“Oh, uh, yes, those are at the front,” you point, “right on your way to checkout.”

“Great,” he hugs the books tighter. You stand in the lull, expecting him to say more. He clears his throat and traces his fingers around his mouth, “uh, well, you… you can’t check me out?”

“I’m not on cash until one,” you say. “Sorry, but someone will be up there.”

“Mmm,” he nods and looks down at his armful, “you’re so helpful. I wanted to fill out the survey for you.”

“That’s fine,” you shake your head, “really. I hope you enjoy your books.”

"Yeah, I don't know if I should watch the show first or after..."

"Hmm, I don't know," you say. "I hear they're both good."

He doesn’t move right away. His face falls as he lingers. You don’t know what to do. That’s about the nicest way you can say go away.

You put your hand to your earpiece and look away, “yeah, one second, be right there,” you say to no one. “Sorry, gotta get back to it.”

You inch away and twirl around, swiftly dipping down an aisle. His long sigh tails after you as his disappointment nips at your heels. It’s not like he’s done anything wrong, he’s been polite, but it’s a bit much. There’s at least six other associates he can bother. You’d prefer it if he did.

[witchywitchy]

I've heard there's a scame going around trying to profit off of the Palestinian victims by acting as a fake GoFundMe request that gets sent to people's asks and DM's. Do you know if that's true? How do we recognize them? I don't want to help scammers (especially those profiting off of a genocide), but I don't want to deny sharing people's real GFM's, either :/ thank you!!

Yes, unfortunately a lot of scammers use this genocide to scam people out of their money and it's beyond sickening.

1) Reblog GFMs that have been checked and confirmed to be legit by Palestinian creators on this platform. They do magnificent work. I personally learnt about this from @el-shab-hussein who spread awareness about this issue before and constantly post and reblog legit GFMs (They have a tag on their blog called scam alert with various usernames listed as scammers.)

I also follow @ibtisams and @fairuzfan who always post and reblog ways to donate for Palestine and a lot of helpful resources. You should definitely check them all out and boost the donation links on their accounts. They do massive work on this platform and have helped Palestinians receive aid and helped Palestinians reach their goals on GFMs.

2) Usually these scammers use the exact same tone in their asks, and I usually just search on Tumblr for an example "Evacuate Gaza scam" or if it's not Palestine-related, I look up the main topic of their ask with the word "scam" next to it. You'll find asks with similar if not the exact same wording in the results. A lot of people also post lists of scammers on this platform for you to block or at least recognize the usernames of, because they recreate scam accounts with the same username but for an example with an added number at the end.

3) The accounts are usually only a few days old. Scroll a lot, you'll see that they reblogged quite a few posts, but their first post is usually only like three days old, so don't be fooled by the number of things they reblog.

This is all I can think of right now. I'll make sure to reblog this and add to it if I find anything. But for now, definitely boost GFMs and donation links posted/reblogged by Palestinian creators.

[daydreaming-in-letters]

Earth & Fire

Chapter VIII - The awakening of earth and fire

02/20/2024

Pairing: Hades (Hozier) x Anthea (OFC)

Word Count: 8,664

Warnings: language, fluff, plotting and scheming, abduction, blood (ichor), violence, cruelty, attempted rape, memories of past sexy times, nudity, blackmail, angst, so much angst, and Zeus (the God of Red Flags needs a warning of his own)

Summary: When the King of the Gods at last finds a way to lure Anthea from the Underworld, nothing will ever be the same again. 

A/N: Nothing to say, just grateful you're still here.

Earth & Fire - Masterpost

Picture found on Pinterest

Divider by @firefly-graphics

If you like my story, you are very welcome to like, comment or reblog. Please don’t copy, repost or share my work on other platforms.

His lover’s naked body gleamed enticingly in the golden hues of the fire light and he could not help himself from reaching out for the prominent curve at the far end of the young man’s back. He knew it would be silky as a freshly bloomed petal even before his fingers found the smooth skin. Hermes had never felt anything—or anyone—even remotely comparable to the touch of his beloved mortal, Krokos, and not a single day went by that he did not thank the Fates for the fortunate day their paths had crossed. 

The god basked in the pureness of this moment, free from prying eyes, free to give himself to his lover completely and shower him with all the affection he deserved. He was not usually this sappy, he could not afford to be since, even though he was a god, he was well aware that there were far more powerful amongst the Olympians, who would only be too happy to use his enamoured state against him. They were vultures, all of them. Well, maybe there were a few exceptions, but he surely was not one of them. And he chuckled as he recalled the moment he had done to poor Hades what Hermes himself so desperately tried to avoid by meeting his lover in secret. 

“Care to share your thoughts with me, my love? You know how dearly I like to laugh.”

Krokos’ words were muffled by the pillows, but he could not hide the drowsy slur they held. Hermes had tired him out thoroughly with their passionate lovemaking, a fact that sparked the sweetest of warmths to spread inside his chest. That alone would have been enough to sway him, but it was the anticipation of Krokos’ beautiful smile that ultimately set Hermes’ tongue loose.

“I just thought about Hades.”

“While caressing my behind? Is there any reason for me to be jealous?”

There was not. And Krokos knew that all too well. It was more than obvious that he was just teasing him as his mortal did not even stir underneath his lover’s tender caress.

“Krokos, please! He’s my uncle.”

“As if that were reason enough to stop you, or any of you immortal beings.”

He was right of course. Gods rarely cared about the degree of kinship when the heat of desire befell them, still Krokos’ remark earned him a pinch to his pliable flesh.

“And besides that,” Hermes went on pointedly, “he is still Hades, the most boring god the cosmos has ever had the audacity to create.”

“And yet the thought of him made you chuckle.”

“The thought of what I did to him today sure did.”

That statement finally made the young man sit up straight. “Oh?”

Hermes was silent for a moment as the full beauty of his love rendered him speechless. Those sparkly blue eyes never failed to pull him in, and he would have all too gladly let himself drown in them, but he was far more eager to see them burst with pride after hearing the story of his triumph over one of the great three. 

“You remember how I told you of the greatest weakness a god can suffer, don’t you, my sweet?”

Hermes cupped the young man’s cheek as he sank deeper into the two pools of blue.

“Love,” Krokos’ whispered as his eyes briefly fell to his immortal lover’s lips.

“Exactly! It makes us vulnerable, even more so if our beloved is a mortal, an easy target for the other gods.”

Krokos’ eyes went wide. “No! You’re not telling me that Hades, of all creatures, fell in love with a mortal?” He chuckled before his eyes suddenly softened. “But then again it is only logical for death to fall in love with life, isn’t it? And so poetic.”

“Hush, don’t spoil it now. I was so proud of myself for playing them both, but if you put it like that, I almost feel bad for meddling with them.”

“Ah, no, my love,” now it was Krokos who reached for his lover and cupped his face gently. “If their love is as true as ours, I am sure it can’t be meddled with, not even by a powerful being like you.”

“That remains to be seen,” Hermes grinned wickedly. “For Hades is not the only one of the great three whose heart this mortal has bewitched.” The warmth of Krokos’ hands fell away, his sparkling eyes suddenly clouding over.

“I hope you know what you are getting yourself into, Kharidôtês. To do your mischief at the expense of the God of the Dead is one thing, to offend Poseidon or—Fates forbid—your own father—”

“Is something not even the Messenger God would be dumb enough to risk,” a boisterous voice broke the strained silence. “Or would you, son? And don’t disappoint me now, it was me after all who made you the God of Wit, amongst many other things you owe to me.”

No, it could not be. He had been so careful in choosing this place, and yet despite all the precautionary measures he had taken, the figure that stepped out of the shadows left no room for the hope of illusion. It was him. Unmistakably. And he did not blame Krokos for clutching his arm before freezing in place beside him. 

The All-father was a fearsome sight to behold, and despite the calm facade he carried himself with, Hermes could feel his fury rage behind those azure eyes. Slowly he came closer and Hermes' own heart froze in his chest as he watched his father reach out for the defenceless youth.

“Aww, are you scared of me, puny mortal?” he scoffed before leaning in closer. “You very well should be. I could end you in an instant, you know. And I will not hesitate a single moment to do just that if my son won’t do exactly as I tell him.”

“I will, father,” Hermes was quick to comply. “Anything you ask of me, but please don’t—”

As long as he could remember, Zeus had never shown even the slightest bit of compassion. He did not know why he had hoped to find it in his father’s heart now. And the All-father’s haughty laughter seemed to prove once more that Hermes had been right not to expect anything different today. But at least he had let go of Krokos.

“Very well then,” Zeus did not waste another moment to state the true nature of his visit as he began to circle the bed. “First, I have a question for you, son, and I need you to answer me truthfully. As simple as that. Understood?”

“Yes, father.”

“So, I couldn’t help but overhear your little conversation and I fear it left me wondering who this mortal woman is that seems to have turned my broody brother’s head.”

Hermes had feared this day would come. He had feared it from the moment Hades had made him swear that oath, knowing that, faced with the impossible, it might very well cost him his life. And he had sworn it anyway in the face of being confined to the Underworld for an unforeseeable amount of time, separated from his lover. How ironic that it might very likely cost him far more than his freedom now.

“I…please, father,” he stammered, “you have to believe me! I would tell you if I could, but I can’t. I swore the divine oath.”

Hermes shifted on the bed, panic leading his body to move to keep his lover shielded from the All-father as best as he could. It would not make much of a difference, he thought as he awaited his father’s godly wrath. But to his great surprise, it never came. And when Zeus spoke again, his voice was completely levelled.

“I see. In that case, I suppose my brother made you swear not to tell anyone the mortal’s name.”

“Yes, he did. I am so sorry, father. Please…please…”

“Well,” Zeus continued, unmoved by his son’s desperate pleading, “did he also make you swear not to confirm should anyone—by pure chance—guess her name?”

It took Hermes a moment to realise what his father had just said, but his mind had understood already, a wave of relief washing over him instantly.

“He…he did not.”

“I thought so.” Zeus had stopped his pacing and was licking his lips in anticipation now. “And is that mortal woman’s name by any chance Anthea, daughter of Hephaestus?”

“It is.”

Hermes could see the spark of triumph igniting his father’s untameable desire anew. Nothing would stop him now, his prey finally within reach once more.

“See, that wasn’t so hard, was it?”

The Messenger God shook his head, his tongue suddenly too heavy to move as he realised his father was not done with him yet.

“Then there is only one more thing I need you to do for me.” 

Hermes swallowed thickly.

“Bring her to me.”

“But father, I…that’s impossible. Hades will rather kill me than let me take her from the Underworld.”

Without a single word, Zeus flicked his fingers and Hermes could feel the warmth of Krokos’ body vanish from his side. In horror he peered down at the spot where he had just been sitting, but instead of the sweet sight of his lover, all he found was a tiny, violet flower. It could not be. It could not. On their own, his fingers reached out, still hoping to feel warm flesh instead of silky petals, but then he hesitated, afraid to damage the delicate flower and cause even more harm than he already had with his unguarded tongue. At least his eyes showed some mercy as tears began to cloud the cruel sight in front of him.

“A mere insurance, you do understand, my dear Hermes, and some motivation for you as well. Bring me what I want and he’ll be back to normal before you can even blink.” Zeus voice had been unnaturally balmy, designed to lull him into a sense of false security, but now his tone changed, piercing him to the very core with its icy touch. “However, should you fail, I will crush him underneath my foot and take comfort in the thought that if I am denied what I desire most, so will you.”

The horror of the thought was enough to make Hermes scream as if Zeus had already made do on his words. “No! Noooooooooo!” 

But the All-father was gone, leaving his distraught son on his own. Still Hermes kept on wailing, even though there were no ears left to pick up the utter despair in his cries, no heart to be stirred by his woeful sounds but his own, not even a set of violet petals to shake in the air that left his lungs or tremble under the weight of the teardrops that fell from his eyes freely. It was only him now. Nothing less than a god, but also nothing more. Crumbling in the face of the impossible.

Darkness surrounded her. The eerie kind. The one that made the tiny hairs all over her body stand up straight. And the strange silence did not do anything to calm her growing sense of fear. 

A sudden noise made her turn around. And even though it seemed to come from far away, the metallic sound made her shiver. 

Anthea thought her mind was playing tricks on her when in the distance her eyes finally caught onto a dim sheen of light. But it was certainly there and the closer she came, the clearer it was to her that she was heading towards the dancing lights of a fire that fell through the entrance to a cave.

She was almost there, ready to face whatever was waiting for her, when a deep, familiar groan made her stop in her tracks. Ready to face whatever was waiting for her, but not this, please, not this. And as she finally stepped through the rounded hole in the stone, her eyes found him immediately.

He was chained to the wall across from her, the solid links leaving angry red marks all over his arms, legs and exposed chest. He was barely holding on to consciousness, his eyes already closed as he released another heavy breath. Besides the marks from the chain, he was covered in dark bruises and his face was drenched in the golden shimmer of fresh ichor. It still kept oozing from two deep cuts, one on his forehead, the other following the line of his cheekbone. She had never seen him like this and nothing could have prepared her for the dreadful sight, the panic that befell her and clutched her racing heart in an icy grip.

She wanted to run to him, free him from his shackles and take him home where she could tend to his wounds and see that he would find the rest he needed to recover. He would. She was sure of it. After all, he was a god and it would not take long until the ichor stopped flowing and his wounds would close. Soon there would not even be a single hint of them left, in fact, she was beginning to wonder why they had not already begun to heal. Unless…

“Anthea!” his blue eyes had opened and must have caught on to her sight. And the resignation she found there broke her heart all over again. 

“Father!” 

Her feet had started to run even before her mind had caught up with her actions and she crossed the distance in a heartbeat. 

“Father,” she whispered again as she sank down beside him, trembling hands cupping his cheeks. “What happened? Who did this to you?” 

She could see that he wanted to talk, but his tongue was too heavy to move. And so she got to work without an answer. Feverishly her fingers clawed at the heavy chains, using the full weight of her body as she tried to pull them out of their attachment to the wall. But however much she tried, they did not budge. With the realisation came the tears, making it even harder to focus on her task, still she was not ready to give up. She was groaning and grunting, pulling harder than she had ever pulled in her entire life, when the sudden touch of Hephaestus’ hand made her stop. 

It was gentle but firm, and when her eyes found his, even through the salty veil of her tears she could see what he wanted her to do. And with the last strength that remained in his body, he spoke only one word.

“Run!”

Anthea’s eyes flew open and she was surrounded by darkness once again. Surrounded by darkness and him. He was everywhere, his scent invading her nose, his steady breathing breaking the silence and his arm draped around her middle, securing her against his chest. And it was his very presence that brought her to her senses again.

It was just a dream, she reassured herself as she stirred in his embrace to turn around and face him. Sore limbs and the slight ache between her thighs reminded her of the night before and she dreaded the darkness even more for veiling his beloved features from her.

He had been so gentle, so soft spoken, whispering words of desire and affection to her all through their tender lovemaking. Anthea could not hide the placid smile from curving her lips as her hand found the softness of his bearded cheek. Careful fingertips began to trace the prominent line of his cheekbone as he pulled her closer. 

Even in his slumber he seemed to know exactly what she needed and so she stopped the exploration of his face and let her head sink against his fuzzy chest instead. His breaths came evenly, creating an enchanting rhythm as they mixed with the slow drum of his heartbeat. 

She felt safe here in his arms, a safety she had only ever known in one other place: her home. But that lay abandoned now at the foot of Mount Mosychlos, while her father was at some place only the Fates knew to lead Zeus astray. If only he was well, and her dream nothing more than just a nightmare, one of Morpheus’ cruel tricks. 

She could feel the panic begin to rise once more as the images resurfaced. What if he had found him? What if her dream had not simply been a nightmare but a vision? She had heard of that before, people seeing things in their sleep before they actually happened to them. What if Zeus—

Anthea jolted as a dull sound broke through the silence. It must have come from the balcony. On instinct she dove deeper into Aidon’s embrace. She would have to wake him because whatever it was that was moving about the balcony, it should not be here.

But then there was something else, a high pitched noise, like a bird’s chirp, and she suddenly knew what had landed right outside the room. Under any other circumstances, this could have waited until morning, but with the horrible images of her nightmare still fresh on her mind, she needed to know that he was safe. And so she wormed her way out of Aidon’s arms, careful not to wake him. She would be back in no time, calmed by the knowledge that her father was alive and well, ready to fall into blissful sleep once again. 

It was not easy to find her way around in the dark and unfamiliar room, and it felt like an eternity until she had finally managed to make out her peplos on the ground and was ready to follow the blue sheen of light that fell through the tiny slit between the door and the ground. 

Without the comfortable warmth of Aidon’s body next to her own, the air felt unusually cold as she stepped onto the balcony. Anthea needed to be quick. Find the mechanic messenger, read the news it brought from her father, and then hurry back to the source of heat she missed as dearly as if she had been separated from Aidon for days, not mere moments.

Step by step she moved forward, her eyes scanning the ground for the metallic sheen of the robin, but it was only when she had reached the doorway to her own bedroom that she finally made out the tiny bird—or what remained of it. Its formerly smooth and shiny wings were now crumbled and crushed, like the rest of its body. Trembling hands scooped it up from the ground as it tried to flap its broken wings. Once more it released that high-pitched noise she had heard before, a shrill tweet, and if she had not known better, she would have said it was in utter pain. Then it went limp and Anthea was left in the silence once more.

She did not even dare to allow herself the thought, and still she knew it was true. This could only mean one thing: her dream had been more than just a dream. A nightmare come true. And her father—

“I’m sorry.”

In an instant she stood, her eyes trying to blink through the tears, but when she finally spotted the dark figure leaned against the railing, she did not need to see clearly to identify the god.

“I should have known it is you. Is this your doing?”

Accusatory hands held out the crushed robin towards the intruder.

“No, it is not.”

“Then why are you here?”

“I am merely doing my job, Anthea. I am here to deliver a message.”

“A message? From my father?”

For a brief second a flicker of hope washed over her face, but it died away as quickly as it had come as Hermes shook his head in negation.

“I’m afraid not.”

He could see that her mind was still fighting the thought, but it did not take long before the former hope was replaced by realisation.

“No. No, this cannot be. I have been so careful,” she stammered as she had to lean against the palace wall for support.

“Not careful enough as it seems.”

A dark glare hit him. He had known it would come, and still it cut deep, allowing him a taste of the anger and despair she surely felt. He knew it all too well.

“Anyways, I am here to tell you that he wants to see you. And I was asked to make it abundantly clear to you that, should you refuse, your father’s death will be on your hands.”

Hermes could almost hear the thoughts racing behind her turmoiled eyes, and then it came, the reaction he had been waiting for. It was almost imperceptible, the slightest turn of her head in the direction of her sleeping lover.

“Oh, I wouldn’t even think about it. You’re on your own this time. No sweet Aidon to protect you. Or the deal is off.”

She glared at him again.

“What? Don’t kill the messenger!”

“Ah, shut up, Hermes, you little fuck. Everything that comes out of that mouth of yours is nothing but a lie. You are far more than the messenger in this game. Or how would Zeus ever have found out about this?”

Once again she held out the damaged bird to him and even though Hermes did not rise to her provocation, his silence probably spoke louder to her than any answer could have.

“You know very well Hades made me swear that oath. I could not possibly have—”

“Do you take me for a fool? As if you of all gods would not have found a way around this oath.”

Why? Why was it always him who had to take the blame? Why did she not see that he was merely a pawn in this game, just as much as she was? 

“I am flattered, but I fear you take me for more than I am. And besides, what reason would I have to rat you out to the boss?”

She huffed. “I could think of a few. Do you want me to deliver them in chronological or alphabetical order?”

This was taking way too long. Any more of this agitated talk and Hades would surely wake and his whole plan would come to naught. He did not even want to think about what this would mean for poor Krokos. He needed to act quickly, force her to come with him if necessary. And so, in a gesture of utter despair, he closed the distance between them and grabbed her arm firmly. 

“Don’t you dare touch me,” she hissed and before he knew what was happening, she had shaken off his hand with ease. 

This…this was impossible. She was nothing but a mortal. How could she…? But Hermes was careful not to let his surprise show as in her rage she did not seem to notice what she had just done.

“You better cut out that bullshit and loose the attitude before meeting my father or you will regret it.”

“Is that supposed to be a threat?” she hissed.

“No, just a heads-up. And now let’s get moving. He doesn’t like to be kept waiting.”

“And I don’t like being raped. Tough luck for both of us it seems.”

Hermes seemed to be completely unimpressed by her words. And why would he be? She probably was not the first he had approached like this on behalf of his father. And like the others, he knew that she had no chice but to accept her fate and let him take her away. To believe she could somehow escape the All-father had been nothing but an illusion from the very beginning.

She just wished she could have said goodbye, not for her own sake, but for Aidon’s. Because even if she should find a way back to him, she would not be the same woman he had fallen in love with anymore.

From the corner of her eye, she saw Hermes move, and this time, she did not resist again as his fingers wrapped around her arm in a tight grip. He dragged her along a few steps before he pushed himself off the ground and even though she felt her feet loosing the ground too, it seemed as if part of her stayed behind to watch herself fly off to finally meet her fate.

Anthea had never felt time the way she did now. Not when she had passed these tunnels for the first time, after she had left the mortal realm behind to hide away in the Underworld, not even in the mere moments she had been alone with Zeus before her father had arrived to prevent the All-father from occupying her body. Because back then, she had still had hope.

After everything he had taken from her, her safety, her home, her freedom, at least hope had remained. But now even that was lost. Or maybe not all of it. If they could make it in time, if she would be complicit, there might still be hope for her father’s life.

“Can we not go any faster?”

“What now? Suddenly so eager to please the All-father?”

Anthea could not see his face in the pitch dark, and she did not need to. All it took was the malicious tone of his voice to picture the haughty smile on his lips.

“Oh, right. How could I ever believe that you of all gods would know what it feels like to have a loved one’s life threatened by Zeus?”

She had never anticipated her words might have any kind of effect on him, and it was more than possible that she was merely mistaken, but all of a sudden the whooshing noises of the passing rocks and cave walls seemed to speed up. It was not the first time that Anthea wondered how Hermes managed to glide through the gloomy caves this expertly, but just like before she would not find an answer to her question. She squinted, just to be sure, and soon the warming of the air around them confirmed what her eyes had not been able to tell without doubt: they were almost there.

Anthea had imagined this moment in her mind over and over again, up to a point that she had been convinced she could already feel the warming rays of the first sunlight on her face, but as they finally left the labyrinth to the Underworld now, she dreaded the golden light that hit her face. The rich crimson of the sky was much more to her liking. She had also anticipated Zeus to be waiting somewhere near by, eager to finally seize what he had been denied for weeks. And yet again, she was proven wrong as Hermes kept on travelling. Further and further he took her away, and when she turned around, the entrance to the cave was nowhere to be seen anymore. 

Instead, in front of them the faint shapes of a number of buildings slowly appeared in the morning mist. It was a large site, a sanctuary that held not only one but many temples, and also the destination of their journey as Hermes steps became continuously slower until their feet touched the ground in front of the largest temple in sight.

“Where are we?” Anthea demanded to know.

“Olympia.”

Of course. What other place would he choose to force himself upon her than the very symbol of his power? Every child knew that sacrifices to the gods were best made inside the very heart of their own place of worship. And so she did not even blink as Hermes allowed her no time to marvel at the impressive columns that lined the entrance to the temple and merely dragged her inside without ceremony.

The strong smell of frankincense pushed itself upon her and she could feel herself starting to get dizzy when her eyes fell upon the vast centrepiece of the sanctuary and washed away any other sensation from her system.

Anthea was sure she had never seen anything even remotely comparable to the ostentation right in front of her in her entire life. Its magnitude was ridiculous, despite the shocking resemblance to the original it indisputably held. She had heard of the statue before, everyone knew of it, and still she could not quite believe her eyes.

The body was built from the finest ivory and clad in a gilded robe that was splayed out across his lap and cascaded down the legs, leaving his chiseled chest on full display. They had crowned the King of the Gods with a wreath of olive sprays and made him take a seat on a beautifully ornamented throne. Anthea guessed he was almost ten times her size and if he were able to rise from his throne, his head would easily break through the roof and enable him to take a good look around. Around his feet, a massive pool collected the liquid—probably oil—that covered his whole body in an unearthly shine, his reflection doubling the effect of his divine height. 

In his right hand he held another deity which Anthea without difficulty identified as Nike, the Goddess of Victory, to symbolise his triumph in the Titanomachy and the beginning of his reign as the All-father. The meaty fingers of his left hand clutched a huge sceptre, topped off by an eagle which was flapping its massive wings. The sight caused a shiver to run down Anthea’s spine, so massive that she could feel small bumps begin to spread all over her skin.

“Do you like what you see?”

His voice was close and so heavily laced with arousal that Anthea’s heart stopped beating for a second. And when she spun around to face him, he was there, right in front of her, grinning down on her petrified form. For a moment, she could do nothing but glare at him with all her might, and still his eyes kept on shining with the full confidence of his victory. 

“I didn’t think you would have your henchman drag me here just to hear my expertise on your temple.”

As a god, and the king of his kind at that, Zeus was not used to anyone talking back at him, but it could not have been more obvious than in this very moment how much it vexed him to be denied his rightful reverence. And the punishment for that was always the same. It was just her luck she was no use to him dead and so he opted for grabbing her chin instead of her throat.

“Humor me.”

“Very well then. I think the likeness is quite true to the original. Whoever is responsible for this has done a fine job, especially the display of megalomania is excellent.”

A rush of satisfaction ran through her as Zeus could not hide the twitch in the corners of his, until now, unwavering grin. His grip on her also tightened just the tiniest bit, but apart from that he stayed excruciatingly calm, no fit of rage she had counted on.

“I see you have lost nothing of your belligerence,” he said calmly before he leaned in. His lips brushed along her cheek and ear in the process, and Anthea could not tell whether it was his scorching breath that crawled along her neck or the ferocious excitement in his voice that caused her to shudder as he whispered, “I can’t wait to see what it takes to drive the disobedience out of you.”

Sharp teeth dug into the soft flesh of her earlobe and Anthea could not suppress the whimper that forced its way out of her throat. It was followed by a guttural chuckle, a mere foretaste of what was yet to come, and still it made her stomach twist violently. It would not need his gloating and amusement upon her pain to make this the most harrowing experience of her life, and even though she knew hardly anything about the All-father, it was enough to predict that there was no need to hope for mercy once he would be alone with her.

And it seemed the King of the Gods could not wait to begin his ravage as he forced his attention away from his trophy to talk to the one who had lured her here. 

“I have to admit, you did well, son. I did not expect your return so soon. And successful at that.”

He did not wait for a reply before he reached inside his robes to pull a tiny flower to light. Anthea had never seen a plant like that before, she was sure she would have remembered those delicate, violet petals. But there had to be more to it if it was the reward Hermes was about to receive for delivering her to his father. And once again Anthea was proven right as Zeus placed it in his son’s hands with a rare display of carefulness. Hermes’ eyes flickered treacherously in the light of the young morning as he stared up at his father with such hope that it made Anthea’s heart clench for him. It did not take more than a flick of Zeus’ fingers to finally release him from his anguish and instead of the flower, the Messenger of the Gods held a young man in his arms. Immediately he clutched him to his chest, the tears he had fought so hard to push back now flowing freely.

“Krokos, my Krokos,” he sniffled as he pressed his face into the crook of the other man’s neck and as much as Anthea wanted to keep on hating him, she could not. 

“Leave now! I don’t have time for your sentimentalities.”

Zeus did not watch as the lovers did as he had ordered and hurried towards the columns that led them outside. But Anthea did, her eyes glued to Hermes and Krokos as they made their way towards safety. Oh, how she wished with all her might she could follow them, to run as far as her feet would carry her and find a way back into the Underworld, even if she had to give her life to be granted access. But the pity she found in Hermes gaze as he turned one last time before vanishing from view, reminded her more than sufficiently that the Fates had other plans with her. 

“Finally alone.” 

His teeth were bared in a grin so jubilant that it made her hand clench into a fist, ready to punch it out of his nauseating face should the opportunity present itself. But it did not. Instead she found herself dodging his advance as he reached out for her while taking a step forward. 

“Where is my father?” she snarled. There would be no reward without a bargain first.

“Your father?” Anthea had hoped that the change of topic might be just as effective as a punch to the face, but instead of wiping the haughty grin from his mug, her question only seemed to make it grow an impossible inch wider. “We both know the cripple you are talking about is not your father.”

“Hephaestus is my father in every way.” The father you should have been for him instead of getting rid of him by throwing a helpless baby off a fucking mountain, she wanted to add, but bit her tongue instead.

“In every way but one, you meant to say.”

“In every way that matters.” Her voice echoed from the high walls of the temple and Anthea used the short moment of silence that followed to make it abundantly clear that she had nothing more to say on that matter. “And now tell me where he is.”

Now it was Zeus’ turn to fall silent for a while and the longer it took him to answer her, the more she felt her heart sink. But it was only when the first grunt of amusement had wormed its way from his chest that she realised what was really going on. A trick, it had taken nothing more than a measly illusion to lure her from the one safe space in the whole cosmos, and she truly deserved the mocking fit of laughter he spat at her now. All their efforts in vain. The agony she could have prevented by simply giving herself to him on the day he had first demanded to have her. What a waste. 

“Did you really think you could run from me, kasalbas? You and your father, you must be rather delusional if you ever truly believed that you could hide yourself away from me in the Underworld forever. Or did you hope for my brother’s help? Is that why you became his whore?”

Aidon’s whore. The thought made her huff. If only the god in front of her knew that she would rather be nothing more but Aidon’s whore forever than be so much as looked upon by this…this creature.

“What is it you want, Zeus?” she hissed at him with all the venom she could muster. “Do you want me to submit to you? To surrender so you can finally do as you please? Feast your sick and twisted understanding of passion and desire on me? If it will free me of you, I will do as you wish.” She took a step closer, arms spread wide so he could help himself to what she had promised. “I will give myself to you. My body. Because that is all you can have. The rest of me will never belong to you and there is nothing you can do about it. Imprison my father? Kill him? Take everything I love from me? Do it. But know that it will only make me hate you more. I will never belong to someone who calls himself the Ruler of the Cosmos, the All-father and yet acts only to his own benefit. The god of moral conduct? Of law and order? Of justice? You’re a fraud Zeus. It couldn’t be any clearer, yet you expect my devoted worship. And you dare call me delusional.” 

“Enough!” 

He surged forward in pure rage, and Anthea did not know what had happened. All she felt was the violent ache in her back and head where they had hit the column behind her. And the vibration of his booming voice that still shook the building. The rest of the world had gone dark for a moment, tiny stars dancing before her eyes as the heat of his body seeped through the thin fabric of her peplos. He would conquer her body now, the plundering and pillaging had already begun, one eager hand helping itself to her flesh while the other pinned her own hands in place above her head. He was more than ready, his arousal pressing into her stomach hard and heavy and everything that remained was the urgent wish that she had fallen unconscious the second her head had hit the column in his brutal attack.

“I’m going to make you mine now, Anthea,” he grunted before his tongue darted out to leave a sticky path all the way up her neck, “consent or not. You will be mine.”

He was still far gone when he first felt it. 

In the beginning there was only warmth. Slowly it invaded his peacefully slumbering form, gently caressing the surface before it sank deeper, and then deeper still, until it settled in his very core, the warmth now pumping through him with every steady beat of his heart. 

Next came the colours. Hues of gold and rust, dancing across closed lids, creating shapes and patterns that had been long forgotten. He had banned them from his memory, the images too painful to ever think of them again. Memories from a past life that he had left behind the moment he had become the God of the Underworld. 

It was strange, the time they had chosen to resurface, but not entirely implausible. With the first spark of light that had befallen his heart in centuries, it seemed only natural that more light wanted to follow, even if it was only a faint memory. 

“Anthea.”

Her name left his lips in a whisper, the hoarse tone of his voice not able to veil all the feelings that surged through him as the memories of last night came rushing back to him. The warmth within her touch. Her scent, floral and intoxicating, making him crave more—more of her kisses, her caress, her sweet song of desire that she had sang for him so ardently.

But it was more than passion that had bound them last night. What he felt for her, words could never do justice. He could hardly believe himself that feelings like these were meant for someone like him, a creature of darkness. And yet loving her was easy. Everything was easy with her by his side, it came naturally, like the first light of morning, soft and hazy, just to burst into all colours imaginable at once. It had altered him completely, had gifted him with a hope he had buried centuries ago, as if the sun was truly shining on him for the first time. 

Would it always be like this? Every new day beginning with the thought of her? 

Hades stretched his long, sleep-drugged form, yearning arms reaching out for his beloved mortal, but all they found were ruffled sheets, the other half of the bed cold and deserted. His lids flew open, just to close again as the golden sunlight burned brutally in a pair of eyes so inured to darkness.

What in the name of the Fates? He tried again, this time carefully squinting against the brightness. One hand lifted to protect him from the blinding light, he sat up. This was impossible. And still it was real. The God of the Underworld could not recall when he had last seen the golden disc rise from the ground, but it was a sight too imposing, too elemental to ever forget. But most importantly, it was a sight exclusive to the mortal realm, never to be enjoyed on the Underworld. In his bewildered state he took a quick look around. Relief washed over him for the tiniest moment when he immediately identified the familiar features of his bedroom, but it was easily drowned out by another heavy wave of unease. 

He was up in an instant, hurriedly wrapping his form in the chiton he found at his feet. He needed to see for himself, needed to make sure he was not just delusional, and still, what he found when he finally reached the railing of the balcony, made him question his sanity all over again.

Where he had expected to find the usual rocky wasteland of his realm, there were meadows, woodlands and golden streams everywhere. Beds of flowers grew wherever his eyes went, some already beginning to climb the palace walls, their bloom seeming even more colourful in front of the dark stone.

He could have stared and marvelled at this miracle for the rest of his life, but his ears had picked up the soft patter of bare feet on the marble ground. Anthea. It must be her. His heart beating heavily inside its cage, as if it was about to jump out from all the joy it felt, he turned and in an instant it fell silent.

“Minthe?”

“My lord.” The naiad bowed lowly, eyes respectfully cast to the ground.

“What are you doing here? I thought I had made myself clear last time we spoke.”

“You did, my lord. You told me not to set foot into the palace again as long as the mortal was still around, and I didn’t.” 

She lifted her head, a pair of watery blue eyes gazing up at him, and the hope he found there made his heart freeze in his chest.

“What do you mean?” he pressed out between gritted teeth and when her only answer was a wry smile, he could feel something snap inside of him. He moved quickly, leaving her no chance for retreat. Furious hands grabbed her in a tight hold, shaking the gleeful nymph until her eyes went wide and her insolent grin had faded from her lips. “WHAT DO YOU MEAN?!”

If she knew anything—or worse—if she had done anything to harm the woman he loved, not even the Fates would be able to help her. And Minthe knew, he could tell from the way she crumbled in his hands, from the way her eyes clouded over, the fire of hope they had held extinguished at once. She was just about to open her mouth and confess, when someone else beat her to it.

“My lord.”

He knew that voice. Dark and soothing. It made him want to set the nymph down, crawl back into his bed to forget about the all-consuming panic that had befallen his heart and sleep, just sleep.

“Hypnos, this is not a good time.”

Hades refused to face the intruder, instead he kept on glaring at the naiad, whose feet had slowly made contact with the ground again.

“I know, old friend. But you will want to hear this.”

The God of the Dead closed his eyes and took a deep breath. He needed to calm himself down. There was no use in enraging the God of Sleep. He was too good a friend and ally, and still he needed him to understand that they would have to postpone their conversation. And so he turned to face the god. Covered as always in a grey cloak, it was hard to make out his face in the shadows of its hood. The only thing he could make out clearly was the pair of gleaming white eyes, and his matching hair that fell down his chest. The huge set of white wings that sprang from his back was crossed in front of him, an unusual sight, but Hades had no time to pay it any mind.

“Right now, all I want to know is that the woman I vowed to protect is safe.”

Hypnos sighed, and before he even opened his mouth to speak, Hades felt the last bit of hope dying inside him.

“I’m afraid she is not, my lord. Quite the opposite.” 

And with that he opened his wings to reveal another winged figure. He looked very much like his father, the only difference being, that his hair, eyes and wings were tinted in the darkest of black. Gloomy shadows engulfed him, floating around his body, veiling him and revealing his true nature all the same: Morpheus, God of Dreams and Nightmares.

“Tell him, son. Tell him what you did and hope that it won’t be too late.”

There was no time to lose. If it was true what Morpheus had so ruefully reported to him, it might as well be too late already. The thought almost too much to bare, his heart clenched violently and he had to pause his steps for a moment. Just long enough until he had mustered the strength to push it aside. But unfortunately it had provided her with the opportunity to catch up with him.

“Please, Aidon, I beg of you. Don’t risk your life! Not for her.”

He stopped in his tracks, white heat rushing through him as he turned to face her.

“Don’t you ever dare call me by that name again, Minthe, or I swear I will make do on my promise and turn you into a bloody plant. And just to be very clear about this, I will risk my life for whomever I please, without needing approval from you or anyone for that matter.”

He was about to turn again, mere steps away from the two things the needed before he could leave, when she grabbed his arm.

“But she does not love you,” Minthe almost screamed, yet under his fuming gaze her voice became nothing more than a feeble whisper, “not the way I do.” 

Hades huffed. This was ridiculous. They had already discussed this at length and now was not the time to—

“I love you, Hades, I do. I know everything about you, every little detail. I know that figs and goat cheese are your favourite food, and that darkness brings you unease. I know when you are upset, angry or happy from the way your eyes slightly change colour. I know that you sometimes sneak away to the Upperworld just to take a look at the moon, that you love the smell of soil freshly soaked with rain and the feel of Cerberus’ dark fur between your fingers. I know you, Hades. Every little thing about you.”

Minthe had fallen to her knees during her passionate speech, still holding onto him, and he could not help but see her as the dead weight she was to him in this very moment. But he knew that he was not being fair. Then again, neither was love, or life.

“It’s true. You know all these things about me, Minthe.” He found himself crouching down by her side, her chin held up by his fingers to make her face him. “But Anthea, she is the one I want to know all of these things about me. And everything else there is to know, even the darkest parts of my soul. She will know them one day, and if she still doesn’t run, then that, Minthe, that will be love.”

There was realisation in her eyes, and still, Minthe was not ready to admit her defeat. 

“How can you be so certain that she won’t runl!? How do you know she does not only see the God of the Underworld and the power he harvests? Even a lovelorn fool like you cannot deny that it is quite convenient in her situation to have a strong protector wrapped around her finger. Although this power of yours might still not be enough to defeat your brother and save her.”

Hades stood, a feeble smile on his face as he took a step back. “Maybe not. But I vowed to protect her and I intend to keep my word.”

“Even it will cost you your life?” Minthe spat, unable to hold back the tears that had threatened to fall this entire time. He knew that his honesty was cruel, but she needed to understand, once and for all, no matter how badly it hurt.

“Even it it would send me right to Tartarus for all eternity.” Minthe gasped. “I love her. There is nothing more to say on that matter.” 

He left her there, on the cold floor, silently weeping as he was finally able to grab what he had come here for. His fingers wrapping around the bident, the very symbol of his divine strength, he felt the power he wielded surge through him stronger than he usually did. He would need every last bit of it in the hours to come. But power alone would not suffice. He needed cunning as well, needed the element of surprise to stand even the slightest chance against his brother. And so he reached for the other item, a dark helmet, forged by the Uranian Cyclopses to help win the war against Kronos. Never had he believed he would ever need to use it against one of his siblings, one of the gods who had fought by his side, but times changed. And so, with a heavy sigh, Hades donned his helmet and disappeared from view. 

“Goodbye, Minthe,” he whispered, as the ether opened before him with a flick of his hand and the God of the Underworld let the waiting darkness swallow him once more.

Chapter 9

taglist:

@ashesofblackroses

@lowkeysimpinloki

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[hwaightme]

Your fan, Mingi (part 1)

(pt.2 here) (your fan ml)

🎤 pairing: mingi x rapper!reader 🎤 genre: slice of life, mix of fluff and angst, music and the industry, slow burn 🎤 summary: a bulletpoint-style wordstream of what it would be like if mingi was stanning you 🎤 wordcount: 3.4k 🎤 warnings/tags: language, reader is an underground rapper, mingi is totally starstruck, producer hongjoong energy, activism, criticism of music industry, dark side of idol life, hongjoong-ah instead of hyung, yunho is supportive friend (TM), mingi being a rebel, sneaking out, potential rap battles incoming, reader with that mic drop, let me know if anything else 🎤 a/n: Hello there <3 thank you very much for your support, feedback and appreciation, it means the world to me! Here is the next installation of the "Your fan, _____" series, for none other than Song Mingi!! Any reblogs, asks and love is appreciated!

You were an established independent artist, having made a name for yourself among the real veterans and rap appreciators.

Years of tracks, freestyles and collaborations that you had published or appeared in under your belt, you were dead set on making a permanent home in the underground scene, deeming it to be the place where real art was made.

As such, you had openly turned down offers to get signed to bigger labels, spitting on their fineprint.

Besides, after trying to connect with you over music, they had always immediately veered off the trail to discuss image, visuals and something or other about them helping you develop your own style.

Blocked without a second thought. What bullshit was this? You? Not having your own style? Please.

You made it this far riding your own wave, making your own connections, and you sure as hell were not about to sell that off to entertainment industry vultures.

It was the managers, the bureaucrats that you did not want to face. The casting directors with ulterior motives.

You were an activist for creative freedom and helping new artists break through properly. You were vocal about these issues, both in general and through music.

You had first hand experience with how hard it was to become an idol, having actually been cast as a young teen and being a trainee for 2 years, but it turned out that the agency was... questionable, to say the least. And thus your independent journey started, and your doubt of any larger music-related organisations grew.

And the last thing you wanted was to, in front of all those people you were fighting for, who trusted you and saw you as a role model, support those who had questionable intentions. No.

You were a wildfire, spinning things around, remixing reality into raw and emotional lines, your only goal being that at least one person out there could find comfort in your songs.

Fully aware of the responsibility you had as an artist, you breathed your work and never backed down until just conditions for all collaborators, agents and assistants were met.

Though this was honourable, you became notoriously difficult to work with, often deemed to be a pain in the ass.

You would only shrug at that - it wasn't your fault that the music industry was full of self-centred manipulators. Your agent kept assuring you that you were exaggerating, but who said that a nice person couldn't have malicious intent?

Maybe you were overly cautious at times, seeing as you did not enjoy letting people close to you.

Were you alone? No, not at all. You had strong friendships with some legends, attended major events, hell, even gave whole press conferences and readily used the media to spread your message.

You even had some friends who were idols (albeit few), and connected with them deeply over shared passions and visions for the future.

But your soul? Strictly off limits.

Though you did, when the moment called for it, elaborate on one verse or other, either giving it a relatable backstory or linking it to a national or global issue, not once did you bare all.

That was not your style.

Neither was it your fans'.

They did not need to be spoon-fed pretentious monologues to understand.

Your fans were a real unit, many connecting with each other and becoming life-long friends. Since you never tried to gather the bigger venues, even if you were touring the country, you had a chance to interact with them. Reassure them. Connect with them. Human to human.

You understood each other. No accessories. That was the most powerful way to bare all.

It was through these concerts that Mingi had gotten to know you, and soon enough you had become his idol, for the lack of a better word, and muse.

One time he had snuck out of the dorms late at night having heard that a new artist he had heard and liked the sound of was going to be opening for another artist.

By sheer luck he managed to swipe the last ticket available, hours before the concert, and was off, having only alerted Yunho that he was "going out".

The event was held at a club, which technically was forbidden for him, but he was feeling rebellious and wanted to immerse himself in the underground atmosphere for once.

He had to squeeze past many bodies to take his place by a pillar off to the left. There were no seats, as he had expected so he perched himself against the structure, waiting.

The opening act was pretty good, as he had hoped, with the teenage boy on stage having a confident flow. There was that yearning in his eyes, hope for something bigger, like this venue was not enough, but maybe with some time and practice that dream could be achieved.

Mingi was about to leave, turning to try and snake through the crowd that was practically pressing him into the pillar, but their screaming that turned into a hypnotic chant, cult-like made him freeze and turn back.

And there you were. In all your glory. Sitting on a high stool that you had dragged after yourself onto the stage, a wired microphone in your hands that were folded in prayer as you bowed your head repeatedly to the audience.

A single spotlight illuminated your form, clad in pitch black industrial-style trousers, chunky sneakers and matching jacket that was zipped up half-way revealing a black tank top loosely hanging off you.

The aura that spread from the stage into the room was unlike anything he had ever felt before, and it only got stronger as you began to perform.

And not just run through the lines as if you had somewhere better to be, no, you were living through the song, riding the beat, eyes ablaze.

The song you had started with, (which he later found out was something you had written in response to some hate your fanbase had gotten), called "Welcome home, to the show", started with a low hum. It reminded him of a rumbling thunder, your voice distorted by intentionally added digital noise.

Then, you broke into a quiet mutter, each phrase so perfectly constructed that it was sending wave after wave, and he was being swept in. He looked around and noticed that all present were whispering along with you, eyes not leaving the stage a single time.

He was also in shock at how few phones there were, being used to seeing thousands.

And after a few more bars, all hell broke loose, and he was ready to rip his heart out and give it to you then and there.

You were captivating, your message and vision resonating beyond the walls of this club. Connecting philosophy, ethics, even politics and popular culture, you were the truth.

You were alive and resurrected those who had broken away from routine to see you.

The concert was as though you were telling a gripping saga, in one breath. No wonder your fans were near mad towards the end, while you finished up with a 'classic' of yours.

The audience begged for an encore.

You were smiling wide, pure ecstasy on your face like you were just coming down from a high. The jacket had long been forgotten, and you were currently wiping sweat off your tattooed arms.

And just when your fans began to quieten down, you raised your mic, and in one motion summoned a beat.

Another roar erupted as you admired your followers. Mingi swore you locked eyes with him, piercing his body.

There it was. A freestyle where you managed to incorporate an impossible flow change, and personally addressed some of the fans you knew personally and spotted in the audience.

After the performance, there was a near total flip in your demeanour. Mingi observed as you settled on one of the seats at the bar, changed in a different top and now sporting a beanie

Both you and your fans were beyond respectful, sharing embraces and kind words like you were old friends. Maybe you were, he still had so much to learn. You looked at each one of them like they were your entire world, recalling and asking about personal troubles they had shared with you before.

Mingi was starstruck, he wanted to learn what you knew. Learn what drove you. Learn how to be like you, even just a fraction.

And that was how you became his definition of an artist, rapper and role model

Needless to say, after the concert he could not just ‘stay the same’.

The members noticed that Mingi was walking around the dorm, travelling and even taking breaks between schedules with earphones in and eyes glued to his screen.

He had also grown to prefer being immersed in his thoughts, more often observing chaos among the members rather than participating in it.

The collection of changes began to alarm the others, as they had no clue what the source of this Mingi switch up was.

All except Yunho, that was. The lad quickly put two and two together, since he was in the know about Mingi's escape to attend a concert, and was homie goals to not spill this information to the others as there had not been any press or spottings.

So during a day when the group was miraculously free, Yunho approached Mingi to go for a drive together, and the latter not suspecting the interrogation incoming, agreed.

While they were navigating around the city, eventually settling for their final destination to be a quick visit to Bucheon, Yunho, passively, in an even tone, inquired:

"So what happened that night?"

Fully not expecting Mingi to BURST. The boy was literally bouncing in his seat recounting the experience, to the point where Yunho had to use "the mom hand" to try calming his best friend.

After agreeing to not act like a car crash risk, Mingi delved into explaining why exactly he had been acting the way he was, happily answering any and all questions that came his way.

Really, he was waiting to fanboy all this time.

He took out his phone and attempted to show Yunho some screenshots and notes, once again forgetting that road safety was a thing that existed.

"Man you really want to Tokyo Drift off this bridge huh?"

So he spent the rest of the drive reading out extensive analysis he had conducted, picking apart your rap and diving into what everything could potentially mean, how the rhyme and structure worked and how he could potentially take some patterns to experiment with.

Yunho was in awe - he could not get enough of professional Mingi, so he was more than happy to hear that he found such a good role model.

It was that sparkle in his friends eyes, the grin that would not leave his face as he talked about a rare video he found on YouTube of you freestyling during a radio show, his pride as he exclaimed that he had found some of your earliest recordings in the depths of SoundCloud, diving into babbling away about how your sound, though had always been unique, had indeed evolved over time.

To Mingi, you were a daring character, not caring for the blueprints or trends, and inspired him to work harder than ever before, hone his skills further so that he could enjoy the music as much as you did. He wanted to live every line.

He already had the ability to feel the music coursing through his body, and move impeccably to every beat, but there was something indescribable about how you created your creations, something unreachable, that drew Mingi in.

He desperately wanted to crack the code - maybe in a way of natural competition, as he was also in the music industry, hell, also a rapper, but when he tried that theory on it did not sit well. Mingi did not see himself ever having even an echo of a thought to surpass you or wrong you – to him, you were in your own unique realm.

The young man had nothing but respect for you and wanted to simply translate that into a deeper understanding of your skills. He knew far too well just how hard it was to make performances like yours appear effortless.

As he listened and listened to studio recordings and compared them to the live versions he had replaying in his head, he noticed how you had even changed up the emotional landscape for the specific audience. There was no limit to how much variability there was.

Seeing how he had won over Yunho and even got him into being one of your listeners, albeit more casual, Mingi became even more bold about his passion for your music and his professional growth.

So, day in, day out he had begun to learn some of your rap, slowing it down, trying to repeat it after you. He had attempted to record himself on his phone to review progress, and then, for the final challenge… he needed Hongjoong’s help.

Upon hearing that the younger member wanted to go to the recording studio Hongjoong quite literally shot up from his sprawled position on the floor, dropping his paint brushes (much to Seonghwa’s rising discontent) and rushing to get ready.

He knew that when inspiration struck, it was a race against time to try recording anything.

Once they were in the studio and Hongjoong checked that all equipment worked, Mingi decided to sit him down and elaborate on what he wanted to do and why.

What he did not expect, however, was for Hongjoong to have a smug expression on his face, leaning back as if he… knew something. And knew it so well that it seemed he could maybe even fact check the information he was being given.

Soon enough, Mingi stopped his monologue to stare his captain down, eyebrow raised.

“Do you want me to text them?”

Mingi.exe stopped working.

What did Hongjoong mean by that? That he could text you? Did he mean to message you on social media? Or to try reaching out to you indirectly through management perhaps? That all seemed more realistic-

“No, for real, I have her number, lucky for you we are what one could consider friends.”

Mingi felt as though he was on some hidden camera prank show, quite literally turning his head to check if that was the case. When the first wave of shock did pass, he managed to mumble:

“But… how? How did you meet?”

“At a speaker and networking event, of all places. It was one dedicated to fusion of different disciplines that fall under the umbrella of creative arts, a few months back.”

“Oh, I think I remember! And wait wasn’t it the event where you presented about combining fashion and music and stuff like that, right?”

“Yes, exactly. So, really, it wasn’t a talk that I exclusively gave. There were a couple of others on the stage with me, and it was like a panel discussion. And guess who was one of the guests there? Your new celebrity crush! We had talked previously on occasion, but after that panel it was a 180 flip.”

“And that is when you got her… number?”

“Yeah. She gave it to me.”

Mingi did not want to admit but he was experiencing an odd pang of jealousy, at how serendipity had led you to Hongjoong and not him. How the older member could consider himself a friend of yours, but Mingi was just a fan. But he could not stay in this state for long – after all, this second level connection was an opportunity. He was sure to be able to reach you now.

A silence fell over the two members.

Hongjoong finally broke the silence with a chuckle, returning to what Mingi had been meaning to do:

“So, you want to record a cover, right? Or what was it again?”

“Yep… there is that one track. From her second album. ‘Dum Spiro Spero’. It blew me away. The title means 'While I breathe, I hope', and it tells a story of a child dreaming of making it on the big stage and working hard, and then finishes with them achieving it. When I first heard it... it just spoke to me."

Hongjoong shifted in his seat and moved to search up the track on the studio computer. Once on, he began to nod his head to the entrancing beat.

“This one is one of the less known ones, isn’t it? How did you come across it?”

“Setl-” Mingi slapped his hand over his mouth, realising that he may or may not have just exposed himself and set himself up for the scolding of a lifetime.

“Setl… setlist? SETLIST? Song Mingi… Are you meaning to tell me that you attended a public concert… without telling anyone?”

Mingi contemplated whether he wanted to drag Yunho into this, but chose not to as he merely lowered his head and gave Hongjoong a sheepish smile.

“Mmm… perhaps?”

“Boy, I don’t even need to ask you to come to my room, everything’s prepped already. You are about to get that breath knocked out of you Mingi.” Hongjoong’s expression darkened as he stood up to approach the younger man. But then the latter had the audacity to stand up too.

Ah, the benefits of having a height advantage. “You were saying?”

“Listen here you big little shit-”

After indeed having to listen through an extensive collection of colourful words and a stern warning to never do such risky things (at least without Hongjoong knowing) ever again, they moved to recording the cover.

Since they did not have the instrumental for your track, Hongjoong had laid a beat that was similar and, in front of Mingi’s very eyes sent you a message asking if it was okay to even attempt to do what they were about to do.

Midway through recording, the phone buzzed with a simple offer. To come to your studio so that the three of you could make something even better.

If it was possible for a human being to literally light up a room, Mingi was sure to be the brightest star. Glowing, he stepped out of the booth, mouth wide open, morphing into the most adorable grin.

"Is... that... is that really them?"

"Yep, and you should be getting added to a group chat right... now."

His phone dinged, and he could not believe his eyes. It was a number, your number, on his screen, a notification saying that he was added to 'triple threat trio' and a quick text of you informing that this, indeed was yourself and no one else.

Hongjoong was genuinely afraid that Mingi was going to hit the ceiling because he jumped that high.

A giggly mess, the young rapper and your fan fell back onto the sofa behind where Hongjoong was seated, and typed out a response introducing himself and adding that he really liked your work.

"HYUNG SHE SAYS SHE LIKES OUR WORK TOO AHH"

"You know I sent her some of the tracks from our album before they were even officially released, right?"

"You did what now?"

"Yeah, but don't worry it was just snippets and I had it cleared with the producer. He knows her too so it was easy enough."

"WHY WAS I IN THE DARK ABOUT THIS!!!?"

"BECAUSE YOU NEVER ASKED?"

"I am going to stop calling you hyung I have not an ounce of respect left-"

"Now that's too far boy one more word and I am asking Y/N to write a diss track about you."

"And I would thank you, HONGJOONG" he exclaimed, still beaming, making a run for it out of the studio and into the corridor, the captain hot on his heels.

The only thing on his mind was that he was going to be recording with you. He would be able to hear you, basically one on one, doing what you did best. And on top of that, you would be creating art together.

[nightingaleofthemoonlight]

A'right I'm just gonna be straight up real to you guys...

By the way, this post is for everyone who is willing to LISTEN and UNDERSTAND... If you don't, then just don't read

Throughout the years, we've seen a lot of adaptations of the TMNT which is good because this is where people would actually see what needs an improvement or what do you think we should remove..

Why am I saying this? WE ALL lived in a different era. WE were born in different years. WE GREW UP in different versions of the TMNT. I KNOW. I know because I grew up watching TMNT 1990, 1991, 1993, 2003, 2007, 2012, 2014 and 2016.

I know how you feel when ROTTMNT 2018 came up. The character design is different. The attitude is slightly different. The whole story concept is different. I know you hated it but that is the thing... IT IS MEANT TO BE DIFFERENT THAN THE PREVIOUS... THESE SERIES ARE MADE TO IMPROVE AND BE DIFFERENT.

You like TMNT 2003? Ok. Then you must hate Season 7 because it has mystic powers like ROTTMNT. You hate the "Dr. Strange" vibe in the ROTTMNT Movie? Ok. Then you must hate Season 6 because the turtles traveled from the past to the future to meet Cody Jones.

You don't want ROTTMNT because it looks too childish and no serious moments? Here is ROTTMNT: The Movie. What happened to the puns? Why is it too serious? Like what the shell?! YOU ARE A HYPOCRITE!

Anyways, this is just one fourth of my argument but the point is...

My point is... You call yourself a "Fan" of TMNT when you can't even at least give respect to the other versions because it is different FROM the version you grew up with.

What do I mean about RESPECT? Respect in the sense that even tho you don't like some of the versions of the TMNT, it doesn't give you the right to destroy it to others. Wait --- what does it mean? It means when someone asks you what do you think about ROTTMNT... Oh it sucks like hell. Is that the "respect" I am pertaining to? NO!

The respect I am pertaining to happens when you don't outright destroy and backlash it to someone or other people! When people asks you, it's ok to say it's fine. Not my cup of tea. It's ok to say those things but to just post a bad thing about that version isn't helping anyone. Not only you are degrading the movie, you are degrading yourself.

What am I saying is -- PLEASE -- before you post something about "hate" think about it. How about you let people just watch it. Let them experience it. It may not be "your cup of tea" but it might be to them. And thanks to you, you just destroyed it. Now they won't watch it. It might be their comfort version of the TMNT... But now...

Ya know, if you don't understand this or won't accept this argument because my opinion my rules and I don't like this so called respect... Sorry but YOU ARE NOT A FAN. Truth hurts buddy.

Sorry... If you are mad... Please.. share it with the world... I don't care. I don't mind. I say the truth that I'm seeing right now.

P.S: this just happened coz I am a member of a group on Facebook and I see a lot of people posting on how nice. How amazing ROTTMNT Movie is and some jack ass be like "it's the worst version." Like the person just wants to share his/her opinion and you... Anyways, sorry for the rant but.. someone has to say it.

REBLOG if you want... I don't mind... Spread this awareness that it is NOT cool to bully and post hate..

[bunnimatsu]

i can’t believe i am making a post like this but since this is very very close to home, i’m deciding to use this to reach as much people as possible.

SO, if you know me, hi hello and if you don’t, i go by jarvis on here but my actual name is maxx. and i live in hawaii.

if you don’t know what’s going on here, the island of maui, which is a neighbor island of mine (yes, i’m fine), has suffered a devastating fire due to negligence of a telephone pole and it swept through the entirety of lahaina (a town in maui) and burned a LOT of people’s houses to the ground and a whole bunch of lives were lost.

and a couple of hours prior of writing this, i just got word back from my mother that distant relatives of mine from my grandfather’s side have passed away from the fire.

i’m writing this to spread awareness of what’s happening in the world we live in, i know that some of you use tumblr as your escape from reality but this is reality unfortunately.

hawaii is my home and are my cultural roots and lahaina was a place where many of my people grew up (and i’m talking generations upon generations so you could imagine what pieces of history is gone..) and this is all just….very not fun lol. i haven’t a goddamn clue how to word any of this so apologies if this all is confusing and all over the place.

and i’m using whatever tags, including ososan ones, to get this to reach wherever i can

and yes, please please PLEASE reblog this

for those who are worried about me, once again, i’m fine. and i will be fine, thank you for your concern.

and for those of you who live in the outer states complaining about not being able to vacation there or here anymore, kindly go fuck yourself.

below are links to where you can donate in maui, any thing helps really. and if you are local, the first screenshot is where you can physically donate whatever is needed and a number you can call to locate your loved ones if they live there:

[the-undercity]

Careful With Otherlinking (May Lead To Thoughtform)

(edited as of 8/20/23 to be a little more concise, hopefully sound Less Aggressive, and revised without links for the sake of brevity)

TL;DR available at the bottom!

THE POST:

I'm not an expert on the subject of otherlinking. I'm simply making this post to inform people who either stumble across the community (like I did), or who may be in the community and are not already aware of the information I will be talking about here. Namely that some guides detailing how to form a linktype have a similar enough process to thoughtform creation that there may be the unintended side effect of accidentally creating a thoughtform if you are not careful with what you're doing.

The guides for forming a linktype that I have seen follow the steps of immersing yourself in things related to the linktype you are trying to work towards, which itself is very innocuous and not at all an issue! However, with communities/practices such as soulbonding, the same steps are present. The difference is whether your focus is placed internally or externally (with things such as asking in your head what your chosen linktype would prefer in certain situations, this line of thinking can particularly easily move into the "external focus" area).

With otherlinking having similar steps to something like soulbonding (the example here, and what originally made me write this post), it's no wonder that there have been reports here on Tumblr of people who ended up experiencing accidental thoughtform creation while trying to form their linktypes. The numbers are slim, but the potential does seem to be there, if their stories are to be believed!

Otherlinking itself is nothing that is any different from another alterhuman community. My intention is not to scare anyone off who is a prospective member of their community or make people in the community question what they've been doing already. My whole goal for this post is to inform people that there is the potential for an unwanted side effect like thoughtform creation. You should be aware of the effects of everything you do in life after all!

Whether or not this is a bad outcome to you, or you believe in thoughtforms at all (for those who doubt things related to the topic), the fact of the matter is that it is a serious outcome for people who otherwise may not fully understand what is going on, or what they're getting into. To put it simply, if you follow a guide to form a linktype, you expect a linktype, not another consciousness in your head!

WHAT TO DO:

If you're someone who writes guides for forming a linktype, it would be helpful to add a note about the possibility for this outcome in the guide, or if possible (and if you'd like to), revise any steps that might contribute to the unintended consequence. If you're someone who has linktypes or would like to get into the community, just do your best to be aware and educated! Talk to your peers, get involved, and find out what's the norm and what isn't for your experiences. There's a good chance it'll never happen to you, but do your best to understand the methods you're using and why they work the way they do. If you're someone who HAS experienced what I mentioned in the post, I implore you to reach out and ask questions! Don't hesitate to seek advice or find others who might be able to help you understand your situation better. Finally, if you're anyone else, aside from the above- perhaps even just a curious onlooker who happened to read this all the way to the end (or skipped here)- spread the word if you can! Likes and reblogs help and are greatly appreciated.

Feel free to message me questions, comments, or concerns related to this post. If you think I missed something or should have reworded anything in here, let me know! I wish the best for anyone who reads this. Thank you!

TL;DR : This is a notice about otherlinking's methods of forming a linktype being similar to methods of creating a thoughtform, and that trying to form a linktype may lead to unintentional thoughtform creation.

[beliefandsayingsomething]

my thoughts on the 1975 in malaysia + how to help!

(help links at bottom, reblog please)

seeing lots of people mad at queer malaysians for being mad at matty. they have every right to be mad at him, because yes we think what he did was moving and i honestly believe it was, but the repercussions of what they did will likely effect queer malaysian people negatively. the malaysian gov are using the 1975 as a scapegoat for, in turn, making it even harder to exist as a queer person in malaysia.

if they’re speaking out and saying it isn’t going to effect them as positive as our western view believes it will, it’s important we accept that and research how we can truly help the queer community over there.

however, matty and ross’ actions have been seen worldwide and i’m seeing a lot of people coming forward and saying they weren’t aware malaysian government was as bad as it is for queer people. this is important.

what the boys did has sparked a worldwide discussion and shone a light for how dangerous it truly is for queer malaysian people. the kiss itself may not help the situation over there (which i don’t think it was intended to do), but it will guide more people into discovering the inhumane laws for our community in malaysia, and ultimately, guide us over in our respective countries to helping the queer people in south east asia.

—

here’s how we can help the queer community over in malaysia:

(all found on the1975 reddit forum so credit to 505cherry on reddit, but i wanted to post the separate links for ease)

https://pluho.org/donate/ (mental health support)

https://justiceforsisters.wordpress.com/about/ (support for trans malaysian women)

^ (provides support for queer people and allies, inc. queer voices, stories and views)

BANK DETAILS FOR DONATIONS TO QUEER LAPIS (use remitly app to send):

564717527444

MAYBANK

PERTUBUHAN JARINGAN KEBAJIKAN KOMUNITI

choose express speed --> for delivery method put bank deposit --> choose Maybank --> then put the account details from above --> put PERTUBUHAN JARINGAN KEBAJIKAN in the first name box, and KOMUNITI in the last one

credit to Alternative-Map-181 on reddit for those instructions

—

https://linktr.ee/ptfmalaysia (provides HIV/AIDS education, prevention, care and support programmes)

^ (support group for queer, gay and bi youth, creating a safe space with guidance)

https://legaldignity.org/donation/ (promotes fair and equal access to justice for all lgbtq+ people)

—

important: i take no credit for finding any of these links, i saw it being shared from the 1975 reddit on twitter but i haven’t seen any information on tumblr so i wanted to spread it further! thank you so much to the reddit user (505cherry) who shared these organisations with us.

[lbodraws]

can we please extend the same enthusiasm for liking and reblogging the comparatively unimportant observations i made about the Side Order poster with the actually important resources and information posts i've reblogged about helping the people of Gaza Palestine. please? (thank you to those of you who have helped share resources.)

i understand we're all excited for Side Order, but PLEASE. give your attention and time to the resources being shared by the creators and people you follow. it's vital we all spread awareness where we can.

links and resources to help the people in Gaza:

arab.org - Click daily, it's free

Pious Projects - Feminine Hygiene Kits for Gaza With the Asad Sisters

Care for Gaza - Supporting displaced families in Gaza

keep talking about Palestine.